#guy has some deep seated issues with self love also mom was never quite there for him

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hi Salome!!! Hope you’re doing good and healing well ❤️ I have a question: how old is Konig in DOG? (Also thank you for writing this deranged, sexy creep I love him so much I want to kiss him on the forehead and put him in my pocket)

Aww ty! 🥰💞 I was originally supposed to keep DOG König's age undefined but because there's a birthday scene at the end of this fic it sort of has to be disclosed ^^

So our doggy is currently 36 and will turn 37 in a few months 🐶 He's a summer child!

[writingsbychlo]

💭hi chloe, congrats! could u do a dating ff!tommy head canon (like the ones you have for stiles and mitch) i miss him 🥺

under the cut! i will also link this to my masterlist, because I know how much y'all like these!

PDA

Tommy is kiiiiinda in a middle ground about PDA

He doesn’t feel the need to go over the top, but he isn’t shy about it either

He’ll kiss his girl when he wants, and he isn’t shy of affection either

Little nudges and pokes and a lot of random hugs

On a call together, he keeps it professional, of course

But in your own time? He’s a free man, and he’ll love his girl if he wants to

At the house, he can be extra with PDA, just to annoy everyone

If he gives you a little kiss, or does something which anybody teases him for, he goes into overdrive, just to annoy them

A lot of ‘my love’, ‘angel’, ‘light of my life’, ‘love of my life’, ‘hey pretty girl’

A lot of flirting too

“Oh, damn, good thing we’re firemen because you are smokin’.” and such

He will one hundred percent grab your ass and run away

You’ve actually become pretty used to it, actually

Little slaps, or pinches, or grabs, and then he just runs away laughing

Thinkin’ he’s doing something

But he still blushes when you flirt back, in literally any situation

Using a fire-related pick-up line

“Well, damn, lieutenant, you’d better come over here and handle me then.”

And his jaw would drop and he’d get cute pink cheeks

Which definitely leads to some PDA because he’ll grab your face and kiss you

The PDA gets more after a hard call but nobody says anything then

Hand holding and cuddling and playing with hair

Soft kisses and whispered reassurances while holding each other’s faces

Honestly, he’s not big on making an exhibition, but he will give out a lot of love

HANGING OUT

Hanging out happens a lot

For starters, there’s all day at work, especially on slow days when you might not even get a case

At the beginning of the relationship, that would be awesome, because ‘honeymoon phase’ and all

But once you’ve moved past that and into a more serious relationship, that can be an issue

Like if there’s been a dispute at home or one of you is on edge

So hanging out is pretty much never alone at work

And you try to break it up into chunks too

Making sure you have a girls night with Brenda at least once a week

And once a week he has a guys night, and you plan them on separate days

You actually have too much hang out time on your hands, and it can be a strain

Once you’ve got it down, though, it’s easy

Having TV shows that you binge together, and will never watch without the other

Cleaning and doing household chores together always becoming fun

Especially when you build a playlist for these jobs, and end up dancing and singing together

Also, cooking together

Which is actually usually just one of you cooking, and the other sitting on the counter just to chat

Grocery shopping alone, and making appointments alone

Just so that you always have time apart, to keep things distanced

DATE NIGHT

Date nights are hard to plan when you live together and have such busy jobs

You rarely ever actually feel the need to go out and about to have a date

Really, you just want to get in your comfies and relax together

At first, you both kind of force yourselves to go out

Making bookings and dressing up and going out for dinner

You feel like you owe it to yourselves at the beginning

Even though you don’t need to do the small talk and whatnot

After that, drive through dates in the middle of the night, or going on walks in the park count as dates

And after that, you honestly stop counting dates

You’re just together

Long before you move in together, you’re already basically living together

You drive home from work together, and choose who’s place to crash at

So dates as a concept are pretty irrelevant after a pretty short amount of time

SEX

Oh, don’t even get me started on this

He’s always horny after regular cases

Watching you go into ‘action mode’, he loves it

And you feel the same about him

Definitely having hooked up in the showers a few times at work while you were still in that phase

His hand over your mouth and trying not to let the sounds be too obvious

Trying to keep quiet and failing at it

You’re pretty sure everyone knows, but nobody said anything

Also fucking in one of the firetrucks and the ambulance

When you get a little more self-control, morning sex is usually the way forwards

Because you’re both always so tired after shifts

So morning sex is usually the way to go

If it is morning sex, it’s always sloppy and clingy and passionate

Slow thrusts and wandering hands and deep kisses

Shower sex is also a regular visitor in the morning sex regime

“It’s hot, and easy clean-up, and it’s hot. I see no downsides.”

He loves shower sex

However, if you’ve been out with the team, you’re probably both a little tipsy

Team nights lead to drinking, lead to Thomas openly saying how much he loves how hot his girlfriend is and getting wandering hands

Also kinda sloppy and clingy sex

But a lot hotter

Because you have more energy than mornings, and you’ve got a little liquor behind it

So it’s the times when you both get a little wilder

Day off sex is different, though

Day off sex is much more like making love than just fucking

Because it’s a lazy day, so you’re both in pyjamas

And he’s just turned on because he loves you so much

It’s quite literally just ‘seriously, you’re so cute and I love you so much’ sex

Wearing his oversized shirts and sweatpants and odd socks

And he’s wearing plaid pants or sweats and old shirts

Literally nothing sexy about it but damn you just have so much love

So those are the days where he takes you apart piece by piece

Slow and deep, so much love and kisses

Dirty talk is more just loving confessions

It’s not “I’m gonna have you screaming my name” like drunk sex or morning sex

But it more like “I’m gonna love you forever, I swear it”

Yeah, he’s always clingy, though

AFTERCARE

Big on aftercare. Big big big.

He’s always affectionate but he’s extra affectionate after sex

Brushing your hair back out of your face

If he got messy, he gets a cloth and cleans you up

Plus a lot of cuddling

“You want anything? Some water, I want some water. You want a snack?”

Sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t

If you do, he helps you out on some loose clothes and makes something simple like poptarts

If you don’t he gets you water when he gets his own and brings it to bed

Always helps you get back into some kind of pyjamas afterwards

Even if it’s just throwing them to you if you’re not completely fucked out

Cuddling under the covers afterwards

And it doesn’t get awkward, either

two seconds later, once you’re all cuddled up, he’ll jump right in with “so, guess what my mom texted before-”

And he just skips into the gossip and chatter without any awkwardness

THINGS YOU STEAL FROM EACH OTHER

Ohhh a lot

You wear a lot of his hoodies and shirts and coats

He likes things to be comfortably big on himself, so they’re quite large on you

He steals your slippers and fluffy for a while

Your place has hardwood floors but his has carpets, so when he comes over, his feet get cold

He stretches out your socks and slippers

So you start buying them bigger so they’re comfortable for him

He doesn’t realise until he sees you trip over the extra-long toe length one day

So he buys you your own

You now have like 15 pairs that are alternated around

Honestly, each other’s phones

What do you have to hide from him? You work together, you live together, you have the same friends

So, you use one another’s phones

To get in the groupchat and just reply, or to call someone or send a text

It’s really just about whoever’s phone is closest

He steals your netflix account before moving in

And you steal his spotify premium

His car

It’s cooler and has a smoother drive and you like it

So you like to drive his car around a lot

He always subtly complains about it

“That car is my baby.”

“I thought I was your baby.”

“You’re my angel.”

But he always hands over the keys willingly

And he complains about adjusting the seat after you’ve used it

But he buys the air fresheners you like

PICK UP LINES HE LIKES TO USE

A lot of straight-up firemen puns

“Get rid of your smoke detector, sleep with a fireman.”

“The fire might be out, but you’re smokin’ hot.”

I’m a fireman. I’m an expert in what’s hot.”

But he’s also soft and cheesy and in love with his paramedic girlfriend so

“I’m glad you know CPR, because you just took my breath away.”

“Do you have a band-aid? Because I scraped my knees falling for you.”

“If you’re here, who’d running heaven?”

“Your hand looks heavy, want me to hold it for you?”

“I just stole a kiss. Want it back? Come get it.”

GOING ON CALLS TOGETHER

He's a professional little baby

He won’t let his love for you get in the way, because he knows you’ll yell at him for it

He has a job to do, and he learned the hard way that he has to prioritise that

A lot of arguments and tearful confessions and deep chats made the understanding

But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a few traditions

If it’s just a regular case with him going into a building and you staying outside, it’s the usual

Whispered reassurances as a plan is formed

Before you lock your pinkies, and pull each other close, and kiss your thumbs

It started because you kept bumping your head on his helmet when you tried to give him quick kisses

And then getting in trouble for kissing on the scene when one of the local papers reported on workplace romances

And you aren’t technically doing anything wrong but it made you both mad

So it became a pinky lock, and kissing the edges of your own hand

Because that’s the best you could get

However, if you have to go into a building, he checks your kit himself

You gave up fighting him on it

The only way he was gonna feel reassured was if he’d checked it all himself

Just allowing him to do so at this point

Bumping your helmets together softly before you go inside

When you go inside, you always walk behind him

He never directly demanded that when you were working out boundaries after an argument

But you know it makes him feel better

Always sticking close to his side, and remembering the flashlight technique he’d taught you if you wander off

After cases, when you get back to the firehouse, you always have reassuring little kisses

And that’s his time to support you

Always letting you check him over, even when he’s not hurt

Because he knows that it makes you feel better

And if you have to take a detour to the hospital with patients, he makes sure he has a mug of tea and a snack ready for you when you get back

[headheartbellarke]

HOME | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon:  "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff

WORDS: 2,036

SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]

    As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.

  “My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What if they hate me?” I whisper.

  My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.

  Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.

  But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.

  I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.

  After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.

  We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.

  Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”

  “If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.

  He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.

  A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”

  “Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”

  “Je vous ai manqué!”

  I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.

  I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.

  They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.

  She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”

  “Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.

  “Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”

  She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.

  We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.

  “My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”

  “Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.

  “But I wanna know what he says!”

  Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”

***

    Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.

  Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.

  Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’

  The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.

  Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.

  Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.

  Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.

  But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.

  But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.

  As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.

  He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.

***

    “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”

  I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

  I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.

  “Nothing. I’m just really tired.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”

  “It’s not the ice cream, babe.”

  “Okay, then, what is it?”

  He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.

  “I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”

  He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”

  I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.

  I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.

  “Don’t you ever say that.”

  “But it’s true –”

  “Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”

  He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”

  I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”

  “Charlie…”

  I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

  “Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.

  “Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’

  “I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”

  I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”

***

jatp requests are open <3

[ilovemesomekillianjones]

Navigating the Storm (1/4)

Summary: Emma Swan navigates the aftermath of Neverland by trying to deal with everything the way she always has, by locking all her feelings away. Between having to share Henry with two other people now, her parents confession in the Echo Caves, her parents pushing her towards a man she has no interest in, and feelings for another man that she never expected to feel, Emma is at the end of her rope. *Post Neverland - No Curse*

Author’s Note:  Thank you to my friend @hollyethecurious for beta reading this story for me! I have had this written for about three months now and have finally put on the finishing touches. This is part 1 of 4 - I will post a chapter a week. Hope you guys enjoy!

Rated M          4.5K          ao3           ffnet          Under the cut, promise

It had been exactly two weeks since they’d stepped foot back in Storybrooke, since bringing Henry home safely from Neverland. Two weeks in which Emma Swan had had very few chances to just be, to just breathe. Each breath felt like it was choked by the need to scream or cry. Two weeks of restless nights and emotionally fraught days; parents urging her toward a man she did not want, her mom wanting a new baby, another mom wanting her baby, not that she held anything against Regina. Henry was as much Regina’s as he was hers, she knew that, but that didn’t mean it didn’t weigh heavily on her soul. And of course there was Neal, who had been an ever-present thorn in her side during the last two weeks. 

Emma wanted to blame everything on Neal, it would be so easy, but she couldn’t do that, there was rarely only one person to blame. She had to take some responsibility, too. He’d been bugging her about giving their relationship another shot, about putting aside the past to make a better future for Henry. Each time, Neal’s words would hit the solid mass of her thick skull and bounce right off, while simultaneously invoking a silent wrath in her being. What the everloving fuck was he thinking? How could the two of them being together be good for anyone? It didn’t help that her parents both still thought Neal was a saint. It didn’t help that each time they unwittingly made little comments about her giving him a chance, it felt like a little more of the world weighed on her shoulders. 

Each morning she dragged her feet getting out of bed, if only to delay dealing with the barrage of shit she didn’t want to hear about or deal with. Of course, if she was honest with herself, she’d admit the reason she was feeling like this was because she was effectively not dealing with any of it. But why choose now to be honest with herself, she’d been content to ignore every other issue she’d dodged in life, abandonment, intimacy, self-worth, why stop now?

Emma hadn’t felt emotional sadness like this since the days between finding out she was pregnant in prison and knowing she would have to give her baby up. Her body felt heavy, her mind felt clouded, and her soul was just… sad, there wasn’t a better word for it. She hated this feeling, and when the sadness became too overwhelming, anger often surged in, and no one needed an angry Emma Swan around. She loved her family and her family-by-extension, but she needed a break. 

As she walked toward Granny’s at a molasses slow pace, hands shoved in her jacket pockets, head down, where she was meeting her parents, Neal, Henry, and Regina for a late dinner, her eyes filled with tears. She struggled to inhale air past the lump forming in her throat. A deep anger rose within her, mostly because she was pissed at herself for wanting to cry. She didn’t know how to make everyone understand what she was feeling and why she was feeling it. No one had ever taught her the healing power of communication, while growing up in foster care. As the anger finally defeated the desire to cry, Emma Swan did what all responsible folks do and locked that shit up, deep inside where no one would see it. 

“I saved you a seat, Ems,” Neal offered as she entered the diner.

 “Yeah, look mom, right between me and dad,” Henry piped in.

Emma glanced at the six of them, one seat between Neal and Henry, no doubt by design and one seat at the other end of the table by her dad. “Uh, I have to discuss a case with David,” she lied. And boy did that make her feel like Shittiest Mom of the Year. “I’ll come back in a few.” 

Taking off her jacket, she sat next to her dad and began speaking with him about the new project they were working on to make Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department digital. There was truly nothing she needed to discuss with him right this instant, but she could not handle another manipulation by Neal, especially in front of Henry, about getting back together. 

“Why don’t you go sit with Henry and Neal,” David whispered, “we can discuss this tomorrow at work.”

Sucking in a deep breath to tamp down the edge of anger that started to creep up on her, Emma realized there was a silver lining here. At least he had whispered.

“I’m perfectly fine where I’m at,” she quietly replied, affecting a sense of calm she didn’t really feel.

“Oh, honey,” her mother began in what was not a whisper, “go sit down there, let me get a picture of the three of you.”

And just like that, there was another brick piled on her shoulders. She understood that her parents really did want what was best for her. Why couldn’t they just magically understand that Neal wasn’t it? She could hear Neal trying to coax her over and her head started to spin. She really did need that break.

As she choked on the sob that wanted to escape, the bell above the entrance rang, and if she’d never experienced what being saved by the bell meant, she was right now. “Hook,” she murmured, just a little more breathlessly than strictly necessary. 

“What?” Snow asked. 

“Hook’s here,” Emma said. “Why don’t you join us for dinner, Hook?” Emma called over to him. He was just the buffer she needed tonight. She didn’t miss the intrigue in his eyes, which he quickly masked with a conciliatory smile that didn’t quite reach those pretty blue eyes.

“While I appreciate the offer, I don’t wish to intrude,” he answered graciously.

“You’re not intruding, we were just sitting down to eat a meal. Everyone has to eat.”

“Well, if all of their Royal Highnesses don’t mind,” he acquiesced.

“Everyone scoot one seat to their right,” Emma instructed, she didn’t expect him to sit next to Neal, not with the current state of affairs. 

Snow stared at her daughter wide eyed and Emma just stared back through narrowed eyes, hoping that her expression conveyed, he did save your husband’s life.

“Ems, I thought you were going to sit with me and Henry,” Neal asked, failing to mask the irritation in his voice.

And I thought I was meeting you with the bag of watches, not the cops, Emma thought bitterly. If Neal was going to use Henry against her, he was going to be sorry. She wasn’t going to stoop to the level of using a child to get what she wanted, but she was also not going to be bulldozed by her ex.

“That’s okay, dad,” Henry intervened. “Mom can sit with her friend. How’s the fastest ship in all the realms, Captain?”

Emma beamed at her son’s cherubic nature. He was truly good. He was innocent and perfect, and she felt like she might cry again as her young son saved her again.

“She’s jolly good, m’boy,” Hook answered merrily, obviously tickled that Henry had asked about his pride and joy. Or maybe it was simply because this boy treated him with common courtesy. Hook had vowed to himself to turn over a new leaf when he’d turned his ship around to help Emma save her son, and although he knew that, most people still treated him like the pirate they’d known him to be. 

“You okay, Swan?” Hook asked her quietly, as conversation started up around the table.

“I- yeah,” she said, slapping on a smile, and even though it was an effort to smile, she found that she wanted to smile for Hook. She also found that he knew she was lying. 

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’ve a never ending supply of rum aboard the Jolly.” 

“I might just take you up on that,” she laughed. And it felt really good to laugh. 

“I thought you said you’d back off,” Neal seethed as he walked over to their end of the table.

Emma looked between the two men before quietly sounding a warning. “We do not need another pissing contest here,” she hissed.

“Contest,” Neal fumed. “There is no contest, I’m Henry’s father, he’s a home-wrecking pirate.”

Emma’s head began to swim again as she listened to Neal berate Hook, as she read between the lines of what he’d said. He felt like he deserved her because they bore a child together. 

“Is everything okay?” David asked.

Emma closed her eyes and weakly shook her head no. She would lose it if her parents got involved.

“Here Neal, why don’t you take my seat,” Snow offered.

Emma shook her head no again, but apparently no one was looking at her. 

“Haven’t you destroyed enough lives?” Neal asked.

Emma’s eyes shot open and she’d hit just about her limit. Her throat felt like it was almost swollen shut as that urge to scream or cry or both, came raging back. 

“Haven’t you done enough damage, Hook?”

“Bae-” Hook started

“Stop calling me that!” 

“Neal,” Hook corrected, “it is not my intent to come between you and Emma. I was merely accepting the invitation she offered. I did say I would back off, I didn’t say I would ignore Emma if she requested my company.”

“Back off from what?” Emma asked, feeling a little annoyed that they’d been discussing her like a - she didn’t know what.

“Swan, I merely told Ba- Neal that I would not interfere if you two decided to pursue a chance at a family with Henry.”

“I think that is very noble, Hook,” Snow inserted. 

“Not now, mom.”

“Well Emma, it’s only fair that you two have a real shot, now that you’ve been reunited,” Snow argued, “and I was just saying that I think it’s noble of Hook to put his feelings for you aside to give you and Neal that chance.”

That was it, that was her limit. Chances? Reunited? FAIR? The lights flickered twice before pitching Granny’s in darkness. Emma stood up and placed both her palms flat down on the table.

“Regina,” Emma said in a ragged voice, barely containing her emotions, which she desperately wanted to contain with Henry present. “Take him home, please.”

“Come on, Henry. I have lasagna at home,” Regina said, without having to be asked again. She could feel the energy of the situation sizzling about, and she knew only too well the magical properties of raw emotion. Of course Henry instinctively knew to listen as well. “Granny’s is closed,” Regina announced, “Mayor’s orders.”  

The several patrons around had the good sense to slap some money on the counter and head out. 

“I love you, mom. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Henry said as he and Regina readied to leave. He came to her end of the table and gave her a hug.

“I love you too, kid,” Emma responded as she ruffled Henry’s hair, and the lights flickered back to life. 

Once Henry and Regina were gone, Emma eyed her parents. She tried breathing in and out slowly. She didn’t want to fight, she didn’t want to hurt them, she didn’t want to cry. But something had to give. 

“Mom, Dad,” she whispered, as she knew her voice would crack if she attempted to speak in a normal voice. “I’ve been having a really-” a broken sob overtook Emma, halting her words. Her face crumbled, tears filling her eyes and falling to her cheeks, as the full weight of what she’d been dealing with overwhelmed her.

“Oh honey,” Snow cried as she stood up to try and comfort her daughter.

Emma held up a hand and shook her head no at her mother. “Please… don’t. I have to do this.”

Snow’s face fell as her daughter rejected her, but she sat back down to comply with her daughter’s wishes.  

“Go on, Emma,” her father said quietly.

Nodding her head, she took another big breath. “I’ve been having a really hard time since we came back from Neverland. I’m happy that you want a new baby, I am, but it also hurt to hear that you wanted to have a chance to experience everything we never got to, and I know that’s not your fault, but it still hurts. And I am happy that Henry has Regina, because no matter what, she really does love him. But it hurts to have to share him with her when we have a third person to share him with now, it’s less time, when I’ve already missed so much.”

“It wouldn’t be if you spent time with me and Henry,” Neal muttered.

“Goddammit, Neal!” Emma yelled, pounding her fists on the table. “You have got to stop that. I’m struggling with my parents wanting a new baby and I am struggling with sharing Henry with you. But my biggest problem, the one that eats away at me every day, is you! I can’t stand the way you try to manipulate me in front of my son, making it seem like I’m the only reason we can’t be a family. You showed up to Storybrooke with a fiancée, don’t act like you came back here to win me over or some other noble bullshit. And I can’t stand that my parents think you should be my happy ending.” Another sob choked her words and she paused to catch her breath. “You will never be my happy ending,” she yelled before leaving the diner. 

Emma jogged down the walkway, unsure of where to go, but knowing she couldn’t remain in there one second longer. She didn’t want to see the looks she’d put on her parents’ faces anymore and she didn’t want to deal with Neal. After an hour of wandering, she found herself down by the icy cold shoreline. She sat down in the freezing sand and folded her arms around her legs. Resting her chin on her knees, she lamented the fool she’d made of herself and the mess she’d made of things. 

“Awfully cold for camping at the beach,” Hook said.

Emma jumped so hard, it hurt her butt when she landed back in the unforgiving sand. “Jesus Christ, you scared me. Are you following me?”

“Sorry, love,” Hook apologized, holding hand and hook in the air as he always did when she went on the offensive. “I didn’t mean to alarm you. And no, I am not following you. I was up on the deck of my ship and saw your golden hair in the moonlight; wanted to make sure you don’t catch your death out here.” He handed her a blanket. 

“Thank you,” she said through chattering teeth, only now realizing just how cold it was. “You probably need to invest in some warmer clothes if you’re planning to stay in Storybrooke for the winter.”

“Is that an invitation, Swan?”

She just rolled her eyes as she held her hand out to him to help her up. 

“Don’t worry your heart, I am plenty hot,” he flirted, extending his hand and pulling her up.

“You are plenty full of yourself is what you are,” she laughed. “I don’t know why I ended up here. I just… I cannot go home. I should probably see if Granny has a room available. Paying her some rent is the least I could do after clearing out her customers.”

Hook scratched behind his ear, his nervous habit that always made Emma chuckle inside, because how did The Captain Hook have a nervous tic? 

“You could stay on the Jolly, if you like. You know, instead of walking back to Granny’s.” 

“Is that an invitation, Hook?” Emma countered.

“Actually, it is,” he said as he bowed deeply, holding his right hand out in the direction of his ship.  

She decided it was probably her best option for the night. She didn’t want to see her parents at the loft, she definitely didn’t want to risk running into Neal at Granny’s, and she was far too proud to ask Regina for a crash pad. So, she followed the direction of Hook’s extended hand and headed to the Jolly. 

“Thank you,” she mumbled as they headed down into the Captain’s Quarters. It was only slightly warmer below deck, and she wondered how cold he got at night. 

“Perhaps a little gratitude is in order,” he smirked, pointing his finger to his lips as he had done several weeks ago.

Emma didn’t even have to think about it this time. She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and backing him up against the wall. She kissed him just as passionately as she had back on that Hell Island, but this time, she had no intent of limiting their activities to just a kiss.

“Swan,” he moaned against her mouth.

“Hmmm?” she hummed as she continued to learn his mouth and his tongue which had come out to play. 

She loved the way his hook felt pressed at her back and the way his hand cupped her cheek before sliding into her hair. She took the opportunity to quickly run her hands up through his chest hair before shifting them up under his jacket to divest him of it. 

“Swan, stop,” he whispered between kisses. “Stop, darling.”

Emma immediately pulled back. Like, what? “What’s the problem,” she asked defensively.

“I apologize lass, it was a poorly timed Neverland reference.”

“A… joke?” Emma’s head began spinning again. One million thoughts ran through her head as her brows furrowed and panic hit her eyes. Her mouth turned down as a strangle hold settled over her... rejection. She’d had one melt down and now she was damaged goods in his eyes. A one time thing, she’d said, and he was the one who was going to enforce it. “I have to go,” she muttered, mind already on auto pilot to the lovely land of orphans-aren’t-worthy-of-love. 

Killian quickly blocked her path to the door. Bad move. 

“Get. Out. Of. My. Way,” she seethed. “You don- don’t want me...”  Oh fuck, she panicked, the tears were going to start again. When would this roller coaster come crashing to a halt? Emma Swan, Dumpster Fire, she mused, it had a truer ring than Emma Swan, Savior. 

“Don’t you tell me what I want or do not want,” Hook reprimanded. “I want you, I have wanted you, far more and far longer than you know.” He stepped into her space and lifted her chin with his hook, until she had no choice but to look into his eyes. “Make no mistake about that, love.” A fire burned between them, something palpable, and only by sheer force of will, was Hook denying himself the pleasure she’d been looking to bring him mere moments before. 

Truth. Truth is what she saw in Hook’s eyes. “Then why are you pushing me away,” she asked, lips still quivering with the threat of tears.

“Because I won’t exploit your emotions, that would be the pinnacle of bad form.”

“What?” 

Hook took her hand and led her to sit on his bed. “Emma, you just confessed major hurt and heartache to your parents. You obviously have unresolved issues with Bae, and you’re harboring a sadness that is ruling your emotions. Despite Neverland and everything that happened there, I have never seen you this close to the brink of despair.” 

A tear slipped down as Hook brought his hand up to cup her cheek. “Look at me, Emma.” 

She sniffled, but complied, as she realized he was not going to continue until she looked at him. 

“You are strong, and you will get through this, but a quick romp in the sack is not part of the solution. I cannot in good conscience let you lead us down a path that you will undoubtedly regret. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.”

“If I don’t get to tell you what you do or don’t want, then you shouldn’t get to tell me what I will or won’t regret,” she huffed.

Hook smiled at the fire that lit his Swan, and continued on, “I did promise Bae that I would back off, I thought it was best for Henry, if it was what you wanted as well.”

“I don’t want that,” Emma interrupted. 

“I know you don’t want that. Tonight made that clear,” he assured her. “But tonight also showed that you have some things to work out. I am here for you, Emma, and no matter what our future holds, I will stand by your side and help you traverse all of it. But where matters of our hearts are concerned, I cannot be your port in this storm if you only plan to pack up and set sail when the tide calms and the tempest parts.”

Tears surged forth once more as she lunged at Hook again, but this time just to throw herself into his embrace. She didn’t even know why she was crying, but she knew that this, him, everything he’d just said, this was what she needed. Someone to stand by her side, someone to accept her for her, someone who knew that she had shitty baggage but was okay with it and wanted to help her lighten her load. “I just want to forget, I want five minutes where I don’t feel like everything is closing around me like a vice.” 

“That’s it lass, everything is going to be okay, I promise,��� he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her protectively. “Let it out, crying can be quite cathartic when you let it.” 

Emma cried a little harder as she listened to his soothing voice. She sat up many moments later when she’d cried herself out. Wiping away her tears, she looked at the man next to her. “How did you get so wise,” she asked in a nasally, I’ve-been-crying voice.

“How’s that?”

“About crying being cathartic.”

“Ah,” Hook chuckled as he blushed a bit. “You pick up some things as the centuries pass. I may have learned that sometimes letting out pent up emotion is better than harbouring it until it blows up.” 

“Thank you, Killian,” she whispered, before leaning in and tenderly placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“You called me Killian.”

The bit of awe in his eyes made Emma giggle. “That is your name, isn’t it?”

“Aye, but you know what I mean, love,” he chuckled with her.

She laughed again until she was caught in a yawn that wracked her whole body. 

“Let me get you something to sleep in.” Hook went to an antique armoire and pulled out one of his shirts and a pair of long johns. “These should keep you warm.” After handing them to her, he placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll let you get some rest, no doubt your day has been taxing.” Then he turned to leave. 

Before he could make it to the door, Emma reached out to grab his hook. He turned around to see what she needed.

“Will you stay with me?”

His eyes pleaded with her not to tempt him into breaking his word. His good form. 

“I promise I won’t jump your bones, sailor.” She rolled her eyes playfully, but then she glanced away and folded her arms around herself, a vulnerability encasing her whole form before she spoke again. “I just want you to hold me,” she whispered. 

His chest ached for her, for this tender side of Emma Swan that he’d never been privy to. Why would he ever deny her something as simple as holding her? “Of course, love.” After changing into something passable for sleep attire, he joined Emma in his bed. 

“I know this is going to sound sappy, but today, at Granny’s, when you showed up, I was on the brink of losing my mind,” Emma confessed as she lay snuggled against his side, his right arm wrapped around her, making her feel safe. “But when I saw you, I felt like… like I might be able to get through it, like everything would be okay, if only you were with me. That’s why I asked you to stay.”

“And did it help, having me there?”

“All I know is, even though I didn’t say everything I need to get off my chest, I did get through part of it, and I am glad you were there.” 

“Happy to oblige, darling.” Hook craned his neck forward to place a kiss to the crown of her head. 

Pulling the blankets up to her neck, Emma shivered. “Give me your other arm, you’re warmer than these blankets.” 

“My hook,” he said, holding up the shiny version of his moniker. “I wouldn’t want to accidentally harm you.” 

“Then take it off,” Emma responded as though it were the most obvious answer in the world.

“I don’t think so, love.”

“Why not?” she asked, sitting up to look at him.

Hook took advantage of his freed arm and scrubbed his hand over his face. “It’s not a sight I wish you to see, it’s actually quite revolting.”

“I don’t believe for a second that any part of Killian Jones is revolting,” Emma said, gently pulling his left arm toward her. 

“Swan,” he groaned.

“Killian, you saw me at my most vulnerable today, and you didn’t run for the hills. I won’t either,” she promised softly. “I don’t think you understand that what I like about you is this,” she placed her hand over his heart, “the man you are.” 

Killian placed his hand over hers, where it rested on his chest and brought it to his brace. “Okay then, go ahead.” 

Carefully unfastening the buckles, Emma pulled the entire brace away from his arm. She held his forearm in one hand and ran the fingers of her other hand over the scarred flesh, inspecting the damage. Although Hook was right, it wasn’t a “pretty” sight, it wasn’t nearly as bad as he would have had her believe. “Does it still hurt?”

“Aye, sometimes.”

She delicately massaged in a downward motion, from his forearm to the end of his wrist, and watched his face. He wasn’t making eye contact with her, but rather, watching her ministrations. He looked half panic stricken, like he might bolt, and half enchanted by her touch. She followed the pattern several times until he’d fully relaxed to her touch. “See, was that so bad?”

Hook’s face was a deep shade of red and his entire body had broken out in goosebumps. He didn’t know how to answer her question. He had never willingly let another person see his mutilated arm, let alone touch it. On one hand, it was that bad, he felt laid bare before her and he was still dressed. On the other hand, or hook, as it were, he felt something akin to what she had explained earlier, like he would be okay, because she was there. “I suppose not,” he murmured, all the more enamored by this enchanting woman.

“Good.” Laying back down, she wrapped both his arms around her and snuggled into him. “Much better.” Emma slept better that night than she had since they’d come home from Neverland. 

Tagging some lovelies - please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

@laschatzi @qualitycoffeethings @hookedonapirate @wordsmith-storyweaver @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @wyntereyez @hooklineandswan @teamhook @let-it-raines @whimsicallyenchantedrose @spartanguard  @tiganasummertree@apromisednightcap  @xemmaloveskillianx @elizabeethan @cocohook38 @optomisticgirl @darkcolinodonorgasm @jennjenn615 @timeless-love-story @girl-in-a-tiny-box @thesschesthair @galadriel26 @ultraluckycatnd @lifeinahole27 @therooksshiningknight @kday426 @djlbg @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @lfh1226-linda @delightfully-difficult-pirate @thejollyswan @csalltheway @xarandomdreamx @vvbooklady1256 @withheartfulloflove @resident-of-storybrooke @mcakers @gingerchangeling @searchingwardrobes @snowbellewells

[alisinchainmail]

More from the crossover fanfic no one asked for but everyone's getting...

Kylo + Quinn: The Last Harlequin: Ch. 1.2

[Gif sources: Part 1, Part 2]

Writers' favorite excerpt from Kylo + Quinn Chapter 1.2 of The Last Harlequin:

He exhales sharply through his nose and straightens. "My Knights of Ren detected you in our no fly zone. You didn't respond to our warnings we sent, so we mistook you for a threat."

She rolls her eyes, annoyed at the jab. "I guess I'm going to have to forgive you and your little Space Knights of Ni for not knowing who I am..." She does a flashy roundoff back handspring and flips over him so she's between him and her bat. "Harley Quinn, nice to meet ya." She extends her now uncuffed hand to the dark knight.

Overcompensating with stillness to hide that he's impressed with the stunt from an Earth girl, he looks down his nose at her hand. "Kylo Ren," he says quietly, giving her the decency of a reply. 

Harley withdraws her hand, slightly offended he still doesn't seem to have heard of her, "Never heard of me? The Cupid of Crime? The Maiden of Mischief? Princess... of Darkness." She trails off on that last one, unsure if she recently lost that title. "Formerly..." she corrects it quickly.

Kylo plays her game, "Leader of the Knights of Ren, Champion of the First Order, and Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke." He takes a step towards her, towering over her. She tilts her head acknowledging she has no idea what any of that really means, either.

"You're not part of the Resistance," he states more than asks. "However, the vehicle you stole has connections to the Rebellion. How?"

Clearly there's a lot of space politics that is not public knowledge on Earth. Why would Bruce Wayne be involved in space wars? He's probably friends with that Elon Muskrat. He's pretty sus with all that Space X shit.

She responds innocently, "Look, I just saw the thing in some local billionaire's driveway, and thought, 'Why not go for a joy ride?'" Kylo steps closer studying her expressions. Harley squints, "What?!" 

Kylo shakes his head, "The Empire has no use for you then. We'll decide what to do with you, or what remains of you, when we're done searching the vehicle."

Harley squints at him, gathering a pretty clear psychological profile from that golden threat of a response, his list of self-important titles, and his demeanor. It all screams of daddy issues.

If he wanted to kill her, he would've done it already. Is he her enemy or a potential new ally? How far can she push this guy before she finds out the hard way? 

She smirks and fires off, "So...you're building a crown-rule empire because daddy kicked you out. And you think this is a big fuck you, but in actuality it's a very misguided attempt to win back his respect." Kylo grips his helmet, and narrows his eyes at her.

Harley slowly steps back towards her bat, she looks at his mask grinning, "Daddy wanted a son, so now he has to hide behind a mask...I get it!" Kylo slams his helmet down on a sidetable next to him. This was too easy!

Harley continues, "Awh it's ok! I bet your mom still loves you. Mom's usually do... if they have the time to notice you through your desperate attention-seeking behavior." He looks in shock. 

She's really hitting a nerve with this guy. How is he so easy to read? "Or maybe you're trying to destroy the very thing that distracted her from you in the first place. Classic only child syndrome. She's part of this rebellion thing isn't she? Gotta love a rebel girl." Kylo lurches at her.

Harley lunges for the bat, but Kylo quickly raises his hand at it, sending it flying across the room. Harley looks at her empty hand, then across the room where it landed. What is he? Some sort of space wizard?

Harley shakes off her confusion, "Won't let me play with your toys? What would I expect from an only child with deep-seated father issues?"

Kylo yells, "Stop...TALKING," as he grabs at Harley. She dodges. Time to go all in.

"Tell me, what did dear old dad do to you? Or was it someone else? Got an uncle who paid some unnecessary visits to your bedside when mommy and daddy were away?"

Kylo clenches his fist and rolls his eyes. That was a hit. Harley taunts, "Awwhhh did I sink your battleship?"

"ENOUGH," he roars, grabbing a handle from his hilt and firing out a massive red flaming greatsword.

Harley stares at the new weapon in disbelief. "Come on! Lazer swords?! At least let me use my dinky baseball bat. I'm Little League compared to that!"

Co-Writer's (Brian) Notes:

I love this as an introduction to their relationship. Harley always has to get the last word in and Kylo is always struggling to keep his composure. Both their characteristics make them butt heads, and also is why they work.

They’re always gonna have a back forth with their personalities. A yin and yang basically where he’ll constantly try and stay level and she’ll try to trip him up.

Writer's (Alisin) Notes:

I like this part of the scene for their chaotic, impulsive energy playing off each other in different ways. Also for her first exposure to the world of Star Wars, which her inexperience with the world helps me get away with the fact I still haven't seen all of the Star Wars franchise yet and am newer to the fandom. We're sort of figuring out the world together.

I wanted them to be fairly evenly matched, which — much like with Rey— is Kylo's first experience with someone on equal ground like that, so it throws him off at first.

Harley is skilled with getting in people's heads from a psychoanalytical standpoint, whereas Kylo uses more of a brute force approach later in the scene. Luke criticized the way the Knights of Ren use the dark side of the force as being unskilled "like a hammer". I bring that characterization into Kylo.

Kylo wields his emotions and fighting style with a lot of intensity rather than precision and agility. In spite of his bloodline making him a more powerful force wielder, he can be quite clumsy with it. As though his power is greater than himself and the conflict he carries disrupts his clarity in his actions, while also fueling the power of the dark side through his raw emotion.

With Harley, I like to keep her dancing in between both, since as a character she is more morally gray.

Her weapons of choice are sometimes literal hammers but her fighting style and wit can be very fluid and agile, similar to the fighting styles of those who utilize the light side of the force. Her actions are impulsive, but not clouded in self-judgements. Without the Joker's influence, she knows herself well enough to have some faith that her impulses are in alignment with her fluid morality.

And to bring it all back ti Brian's point:

Kylo is brute force like Harley’s weapon and she’s skilled and precise like a sword, his weapon. Neither will admit it but both could run into situations where the others methods work better. Harley has been forced to be chaotic in her approach for so long she’s sort of rebelling against it in her style. Kylo has been wielding the force like a hammer for so long that everything looks like a nail. This further adds to their yin and yang relationship dynamic and how they’ll be able to survive by adapting the others' strengths when they need them.

[GIF Source: Part 1, Part 2]

Check out the full chapter on Wattpad: The Last Harlequin. For mature audiences only.

Kylo and Harley's first meeting was originally going to be more simple, but then it just took a life of its own. This whole chapter was originally 4 parts for the Tiktok series, and now it's pushing 16 on Wattpad...and I'm still not done writing it. I have a drug trip scene in the works where they take an intense hallucinogen called Jabbawaska. Yes, this is how ridiculous the Wattpad gets. They're fun characters to write for and it's interesting to see how they bring new characteristics out of each other.

Episodes are currently being posted daily on Tiktok: @KyloQuinnCrossover. Chapter 1 exists in full on YouTube.

Part 1: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNHnKH/

Part 2: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNAJAE/

Part 3: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNGWTx/

Part 4: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNGwEn/

Ch.1.10 WP Promo: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePN4pAy/

Ch.1.11 WP Promo: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNPmUS/

Ch.1.12 WP Promo: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNsnY7/

[lifeofmarvvel]

Sunshine On A Cloudy Day- Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word Count: 3133

Requested by @dank-memes: “Hey! I was wondering if you could do one where it’s a Parker x Stark! Reader and the reader is the leader of the new avengers (this takes place after infinity war and avengers 4). Something goes really wrong on a mission and it’s making the team fall apart and the reader starts to blame herself and Peter is there to support her and eventually confesses his love to her? And then later the team sees this and makes up as well.”

A/N: Sorry for the approx. year wait! Thanks for being so patient! I also did things a little differently than worded- hope that's okay and you like it! Anyway, I played around with the style a bit with this one. Hopefully, it reads well and makes sense. Obvious Endgame spoilers ahead (it has been almost a month). Thanks to all who gave me suggestions for the team members, even though they aren't really featured.  The title comes from "My Girl" by The Temptations. Enjoy!

Warnings: Self-doubt, minor violence, ENDGAME SPOILERS

[Y/N] Stark. Daughter of Tony Stark. Step-daughter of Pepper Potts. Older half-sister of Morgan Stark. Child prodigy. Heir to Stark Industries. Newest leader of the Avengers. Fantasia.

You.

That certainly was a lot to live up to. Your dad surely lived up to what was expected of him and exceeded it. Naturally, you had the same expectations, if not more, because of it. It wasn’t hard at times, but at others, it crushed you. Sometimes it was in your nature to solve a problem the team had had for days in hours. Those moments your inherited genius really shone through. But in others, all you wanted was for someone to see you for you and not your genes.

Pepper, Rhodey, Morgan, and Happy did see you for you. But they were family. You’d known Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy ever since your mom had left you with Tony as a toddler. You had quite literally known Morgan all her life. You wanted, maybe even needed at this point, for someone outside of them to see who you really were.

The team tried. With most of the original Avengers retired or off to a better place, you had stepped up and filled your dad’s spot. Originally he hadn’t wanted you to be a superhero. But just like him, you were drawn in and couldn’t stop. He gave in and started training you with the newer recruits. Due to you being a teenager, he didn’t let you on any missions- at first.

Since you were technically not an “active” member of the team, you were left out of the whole Sokovia Accords issue. And not only did this issue divide the team, but it also brought in Spider-Man and your active involvement on the team. Since then, Fantasia was a public favorite and beloved superhero. Unfortunately, it added to the list of things people saw when they saw you instead of you.

The final battle with Thanos- the 2014 version of Thanos, actually- happened years ago. The heroes that survived and hadn’t retired after the battle continued their hero-ing for many years. But they aged, trained proteges, and retired themselves in due time.

And here you were. The new leader of the Avengers, alongside a grown-up Peter Parker. It was kind of funny how at times he seemed to have the same role Steve did all those years ago, considering he was also your father’s protege. You worked together, aided the team, and tried your best to fill the shoes left by the original team but still be your own person.

The team now consisted of you, Peter, Kate, Cassie, Monica, Harley, America, Shuri when she was available, and Morgan in training but not mission-active. The job was draining, physically and emotionally, but it was worth it. Humanity was worth it. And despite all the petty arguments the team could have, you loved them and leading them and almost everything that came with it.

And one person in particular...not that he’d ever know. No, you decided professionalism was the best way to go in regards to romantic feelings towards a teammate. No need to compromise yourself, him, and possibly even the team over something like a crush.

A crush.

Okay, maybe it was more than a crush, considering it started when you first met him and hasn’t let up yet. And you had another reason other than being compromised for not telling him. After all, he’d been one of your best friends ever since you met him after that fateful day in Germany. No need to ruin a perfect friendship. Absolutely no need. No need at all. Nope.

Yeah, you were screwed.

All things considered, the team was working together pretty well. Even though many of you were working together for the first time, everyone seemed to get along. Everyone knew their parts. Everyone knew what to do. Everyone respected you. You didn’t even get too many comparisons or references to your dad anymore. It wasn’t quite Original Avengers Fighting Together smooth, but the pieces were falling into place. It worked.

That’s what mattered most- it worked. You lived up to expectations, the team won fights, they got along, and it all worked out in the end. You were doing the right thing, you were the right choice. It’ll only get better from here.

Right?

It did not get better from here.

That’s what raced through your mind when what was supposed to be a simple, easy mission took a nosedive for the worst. It was supposed to be a quick in-and-out. Get in, knock some bad guys out, collect some info, get out.

Instead, someone triggered an alarm, Kate was out of arrows, Cassie had a broken leg and many gashes, Peter was stuck to the ceiling, Monica hit a wall, the goons were closing in, one of your thrusters was malfunctioning, someone screamed, no, make that two- wait no, maybe it was you, the walls tumbled down, dust was everywhere, where was everyone, are they okay, you can’t lose someone you can’t lose someone you can’t lose someone again, you can’t see anything, something hit your arm, you were going to have to call an Original Team Member for backup, how embarrassing is all of this, something hit your leg, it’s all your fault, you never should have started this mission you weren’t prepared, the team wasn’t prepared, something hit you in the back, where were you, it’s all your fault, this is not better this is worse much much worse.

“Fantasia, look at me.” A soft voice pulled you from your swirling thoughts. Peter wasn’t stuck on the ceiling. He was in front of you, pulling you aside from the team, gentle hands on your shoulders. Somehow, you were out of the building. Somehow, you were on the quinjet. You had no memory of leaving. The thoughts were too much- you hadn’t been paying enough attention. A shaky breath escaped you.

“Hey, deep breath,” Peter said, preventing you from spiraling again. “You didn’t seem like you were mentally here with us so I got the team out and we’re heading back to base. I got your back. Take all the time you need to calm down. I totally get it.”

You closed your eyes and gave him a half-smile. “Thanks, Spidey. Imma just lay down now.” Before he could answer, you slumped against the wall and greeted the darkness with open arms.

A booming noise woke you. You shot up, reaching for a weapon and finding none. Your head screamed at you in protest, and a second later the boom cleared. Two of your teammates faced each other, clearly in the midst of an argument. Oh no. The team wasn’t getting along anymore. And from the sounds of it, they were arguing about the mission.

“Yeah, well maybe if you hadn’t set off the alarm, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“Oh, so it’s my fault now?! I’m not the one who made the building crumble on us! If anything, you’re the reason why everyone is injured now!”

“I made the building crumble? Please. I was aiming at one of the bad guys and he dodged it last second! That’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know the blast would take out a beam and crumble around us?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS!”

Oh no.

Things looked like they were going to get physical soon. Cassie and Kate faced each other, moving into defensive stances as they shouted. They were best friends. Why was this happening? The team was falling apart. If they couldn’t get along, nobody was going to get along. The team was going to fail. It was going flop, dissolve, want nothing to do with each other, ruin friendships, save nobody, hurt everybody, it was going to die. If only you’d been more aware during the fight. This wouldn’t have happened. None of this would have.

“Hey hey hey!” Peter said, stepping between them. “We can’t place the blame on one person here, okay? We all messed up- it was bound to happen eventually. The team wasn’t as prepared as we wanted to be and that’s okay. We weren’t expecting there to be the number of agents that were there. That’s nobody’s fault or everyone’s fault; take your pick. We’re landing now, so please sit down and calm down. You can talk it out inside.” He then went back to his piloting seat and sat down next to Harley.

Bless Peter Parker. He was an angel with how often he cooled down the team from fights. Without him, the team really would fall apart.

Ten minutes later, the quinjet had landed. You made sure everyone was physically okay before retreating to your room again. A screaming match looked to be on the horizon involving everyone and you booked it before you could hear it.

You changed into something more comfortable, set some background music up, and laid on your bed. Exhaustion washed over you. Why had everything gone so wrong today? You were the leader, you should be able to prevent this. Peter shouldn’t have to step in- it shouldn’t happen.

It was all your fault the team wasn’t sticking. You picked new recruits. You lead them in training exercises. You talked with Rhodey over what missions the team was ready for. You had agreed that today should have been easy. You were underprepared. You let the extra agents distract you. You lost control of your team. You couldn’t get them to get along. It was all on you.

You couldn’t live up to the Stark name. It was too much. The team was going to start seeing you like your own person for sure. They’ll start to see you as the failure Stark. They’ll kick you out and give your position to Morgan as soon as she’s old enough. She was living up to all the expectations and exceeding them. She rarely doubted herself. She was the younger, better sister. Fantasia was just a knock-off version of Iron Man and Rescue anyway.

Your eyes squeezed shut, blocking out the sunlight flooding through the windows. It was still daylight. That’s how quickly the mission became a disaster. You hadn’t been gone even 12 hours. Distantly, shouting echoed through the compound. They had to be yelling their lungs out or the fight had moved rooms. The bedrooms were a long way from the landing pad. You squeezed your eyes tighter. Maybe if you ignore it, it’ll all go away or turn out to be a bad dream.

A knock on your door made you jump slightly. There was only one person who’d be here now. “Go away, Pete,” you said.

“Not until you come out or let me in,” came the response. You were right. A pillow made its way to cover your face as you shifted. It stayed.

When you didn’t say anything else, he came in. With the pillow in the way, you didn’t see his reaction to you curled up on your bed. You did feel him sit on your bed, your back to him.

“Leave me alone,” you mumbled half-heartedly.

“Not happening.” He reached out and started playing with what he could of your splayed hair. “I’m staying until you’re done with your pity party.”

You looked over your shoulder to give him a glare. “I’m not having a pity party.”

He smiled softly at you. “I know that. But it got you to look at me, which was the whole point of it.”

You huffed and turned back to your pillow. Silence stretched over the two of you. The repeated motion of Peter playing with your hair started to lull you to sleep. You could count on him to calm you down any day.

Right before you fell asleep, his hand stopped. “C’mon, please tell me what’s bugging you.” He was met with more silence. “Please? For your best friend?”

It was hard to resist. You didn’t dare turn over- no doubt he’d have his puppy dog eyes on display. Curse him and his perfection of that skill. Curse him and his perfection overall. “The team’s falling apart and it’s all my fault,” you said.

“Hey now, that’s not true,” Peter protested. “We might be going through a rough patch, but it’s not your fault.”

“But I could’ve prevented everything that happened.”

“Maybe,” he agreed. “But that’s okay. You’re human, Stark heir or not. You put too much pressure on yourself- you always have. That’s why I’m here, right? To knock some sense into you every once in a while.”

You sniffed and ran your hand across your eyes even though you weren’t crying- really, you weren’t! “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Pete. You’re really the reason this team hasn’t killed each other yet.”

He chuckled a bit. “It’s not easy. You make it easier to do. You’re such a great leader, [Y/N]. You try to save everyone you can, you try to make the team get along the best you can. Everyone respects you- I don’t think you quite see that all the time, but they do. You’re one of the most selfless people I know, and you can solve problems faster than they come up. Today was just a fluke. They happen, they’ll continue to happen. But that doesn’t mean it’s your fault that everything flopped.”

A loud shout interrupted him and he paused, then took your hand. Shifting so you faced him, a small smile found its way onto your face. “The team won’t always get along. We even fight and we’ve been friends forever. They’re just starting to work together. They’ll get in soon enough.”

“Dad did complain about the original team fighting a lot,” you added, smiling continuing to grow.

“Yeah.” Peter had a smile matching yours. “We’ve got this. You got this. You’re smart, funny, patient, and you care about and love your friends and family with all your heart. You’re the best person I know, and I love you. You said you don’t know what you would do without me, Well, I don’t know what I would do without you..”

You froze, eyes widening. “What’d you just say?”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you..”

“No, before that.”

“You’re the best person I know?” It was obvious he knew what you meant and was avoiding saying it.

You swatted his arm with your free hand. “Not that, doofus. Between those two things.”

Peter blushed and looked down. “I love you?”

If you had been grinning earlier, it was nothing compared to how you smiled now. “Good. I love you, too, Peter Parker. I’ve loved you for years.” A light, peaceful feeling settled over you, like sunshine in your chest. All doubts vanished from your mind at that instant- storm clouds clearing for the sun.

“Good. Yeah, that’s good. Me too. Well, not me too. I have also been in love with you for y-” You wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, effectively cutting him off.

“How many years did we waste on pining, do you think?” You asked him after pulling away just enough to talk.

“Too many,” he responded, then pulled you in for another kiss. You laughed into it, causing the kiss to barely happen. The two of you were smiling too much for it to go well, but you didn’t mind. In fact, you loved it.

If Peter Parker of all people loved you, then you’d be fine. You’d dreamed about it for years and it came true. Why couldn’t that apply to the team? It would. You could feel it. All the goals will be accomplished, the team will get close, everyone will improve. You could accomplish your dreams- even if you couldn’t control everything that came your way.

The next morning, Kate snickered when you staggered into the kitchen, pajamas rumpled, hair a mess and very much your father’s daughter in the morning. You shot her a glare and made your way over to the precious caffeine. She opened her mouth but you raised a single finger and took a sip.

She waited until you finished, then pounced. “So, what’s going on with you and Peter?” She wiggled her eyebrows at you, leading to you scrunch your face up.

“I don’t know what those eyebrows are for. Nothing’s going on. Peter just came to give me a pep talk after a rough mission. It’s happened before.”

Kate gave a disbelieving scoff. “I came in to tell you guys things had calmed down more and we were gonna get takeout to find you two cuddled up and fast asleep. That’s something, all right.”

You scowled at her and didn’t answer. After fixing yourself something to eat, you sat down and watched the rest of the team trickle in. When Peter passed by behind you, he paused long enough to give you a kiss on the head before continuing on.

“There! That’s what I’m talking about!” Kate exclaimed, jumping out of her seat.

The team, despite being trained superheroes, all jumped at her raised voice. “What on Earth are you talking about?” Cassie asked her.

“Peter and [Y/N]! What’s going on between you two?” She directed the question towards Peter, who was gathering his own breakfast.

He glanced at you with a smile before looking back down at his food. “Nothing.”

The room erupted with noise. “THAT’S SOMETHING ALL RIGHT!” Kate shouted above it all. Harley couldn’t stop laughing. America shook her head at her teammates.

“Team Mom and Dad, I called it!” Cassie said when everyone calmed down, sending you coughing from laughing while eating.

“No! Don’t kill Mom!” Monica added jokingly. She patted you on the back. “You good?”

You nodded as the last few coughs ended. “I’m not gonna let some cereal be the end of me, guys. I’m fine,” you said, prompting some scattered laughter. “Anyways, Peter and I end enough of your fights to be your parents, huh?”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Kate said. “We’ll try to make that happen less. We’ll get it down soon enough.”

“She has a point, though,” Cassie butted in. “Something’s going on between you two.”

“It’s nothing,” you replied at the same time.

“Something’s going on!” Cassie repeated, laughing.

“We’re best friends, Cassie, that’s what’s going on,” you said. End of discussion. Back to breakfast. Your tone was clear.

Of course, they didn’t believe you. And you totally blew your cover an hour later when Morgan showed up and walked in on Peter kissing you and screamed: “IT’S ABOUT TIME!” But that didn’t matter. A beautiful thing came out of a terrible day. Things could only get better. And you weren’t wrong this time.

Tagging some Mutuals: @flicker-parker @skymoonandstardust @aw-hawkeye @loverholland @sunshineandparker

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

So since none of my family is on tumblr I wanna briefly say go off on the fact that I have Some Feelings about my older sister whom I hate’s new fiancee. Like, for one thing, the first time I became aware of his existence, he was downstairs impeding my sleep by being Way Too Mother Fucking Loud at 11 Mother Fucking PM On A School Night in a house that had Three Public School Students And A Substitute Teacher (my mom). I didn’t meet him then, but that did not leave a good first impression. The thing that my friend’s middle schooler brother gets yelled at constantly for during DnD sessions in the middle of the day (volume control) was something this man seems to have yet to master to the point where he doesn’t seem to realize he’s keeping the high and middle schoolers in the house from their much needed sleep at 11 PM.

That’s not really the biggest deal. It’s fine. It’s chill. I’ve lost sleep of my own volition/bad decisions before. One night of getting my sleep delayed by someone whose face I had yet to see wasn’t too big of a deal. Then my sister (y’know, the one I hate) decides it’s a good idea to drag our little sister and I to the movies with the two of them. And this asshole and she are just chattering away in little low voices right the fuck next to me while I’m trying to be invested in the damn movie. I move seats 15 minutes in, it stops bothering me, and I ended up being able to return some girl’s ring she dropped as a result of changing spots, so it’s not too bad. That’s a bit trivial too though. There are lots of people who commentate on movies on their first watchthrough. I can respect that. I don’t understand or condone it in my presence, but I respect it.

However, I would like to address the Real reason why he makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want to be near him At All.

See my sister’s new fiancee is a blonde haired blue eyed white dude who the first time I met him mentioned his german heritage and his fascination with weaponry and tanks. All my siblings and I are mixed. Our mother is black and did most of the raising us since my dad (the Token White Person in the house) is and has been involved with the military since he got out of high school (and suffered/is suffering the psychological consequences quite heavily if his anxiety and anger management issues, deep seeded toxic masculinity problems, and dependency on the church are anything to go by. I love my dad but sometimes he worries me.) and constantly being deployed. He met my mom who used to be in the navy through the military, but that’s beside the point.

Now, I do not have evidence to say he is definitely a neo-nazi. For all I know, he could just be a guy who’s fascinated by destruction/the things that cause the destruction in a non-eyebrow-raise-y way. He could just genuinely enjoy digging into his family history and think regular old actual German culture is just neat and want nothing to do with fascism. But this is the guy who is about to marry my self centered transphobic older sister who thinks Blair White has anything of value to say and thinks I’m about to/have already forgiven her for the bullshit she pulled when I came out as agender and another event that’s unrelated. I do not trust this guy as far as I can throw him.

It also doesn’t help that in a car ride with the guy when my sister used ‘they’ to refer to both our little sister and I, I made the condescension that for a second I thought she was actually using my pronouns and he thought I was joking about using they/them pronouns and being nonbinary but I just deadpan told him no. Those are my pronouns. She just never uses them. And he responds with “Oh..... well this is awkward.” as though it’s some kind of embarrassing secret that his girlfriend has a sibling who wants to enforce their damn pronouns.

So yeah. I’m not looking forward to having him as an addition to the family.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #472

“we don’t deal with outsiders very well  /  they say newcomers have a certain smell”

Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah; he has one son and a daughter. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? I don't. I'm selfish with my alone time, and I want to live for me. I don't want to essentially hand over my life for someone else, give my all for them, and then I wind up not being enough. I don't want the financial burden. I don't want to be responsible for another human being. There are so, so many reasons I don't want kids. Does a career in finance sound interesting to you? Noooot at all. When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, but you also wouldn't catch me dead cooking beans. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? No. What’s something that’s been bothering you lately? I've been pushing it to the back of my mind to avoid panicking, so I probably shouldn't even talk about it, but I worry quite a bit that Girt will eventually leave me because of me not being "adult" enough, like having a job, a car, knowing how to do basic adult stuff... you know. I don't feel like he will, given just how devoutly he's been by my side since HS, and especially now that we're together, I'm working harder towards those goals, but still. I worry it'll happen. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? I've never had a severe one. What was the last show you binge-watched? Psych with Girt. I quite liked it. Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. What’s something that bothers you more and more as you get older? Political issues. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Girt. What is your favourite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Just your normal tomato sauce. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? ... In my bed. :x Do you think your ex ever loved you? Yes. Have you ever had a filling? For my teeth? Yes. Should tattoos be meaningful? Get a tattoo for whatever reason you please. It doesn't necessarily have to be meaningful, no. Do you think wisteria trees look cool? Get a wisteria tree. Do you like to eat strawberries? Get a strawberry. There doesn't need to be a big story. Do certain times of the year remind you of certain people? Yes. January is like... all about Jason in my head because within that month is his birthday and our former anniversary. Are there any negative points to being in a relationship? Uh, there's probably something. What the most recent good news you’ve heard? Just today actually I got a phone call about some genetic testing I had done to see if I carried the malfunctioning gene my mother has that makes her more prone to certain types of cancer. My sisters and I all got tested, and all three of us are good! Our pancreatic, breast, and ovarian cancer risks are the same as your average person walking down the street. Would you hug your bf/gf’s best friend? I don't know his best friend. I don't think I would upon just meeting him, though. Who was the last person in your family to have a baby? My older sister. Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Mom wouldn't care less, while I don't really know about my dad. Not that it would matter what he thought. Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? NO NO NO NO NEVER DO THIS. I have to be mentally prepared for company. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? I really, really love him. It's funny how wildly my emotions flipped from platonic to romantic with him just by giving it some deep thought. How close are you to the last person you hung out with? Can you be your complete self around them? We're very close, and yes. I'm still extremely shy for him to know some things, but ultimately, I'd tell him a whole lot. Is music a daily part of your life? Usually, anyway. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yes. Did you do anything sexual last night? Naw. Do you think the last person you Facebook messaged is a virgin? Doubt it, he's been in at least one serious relationship before. Ever want a monkey as a pet? I would absolutely fucking never, even if it was moral and possible to give them all they need as a pet. I've never been that into monkeys, anyway. What’s the scariest bug you’ve ever seen? I've seen a massive stag beetle at least once and it was such a fuck no. Do you think it’s alright if people baby talk to babies? Yes...? They're unfamiliar with the world and need gentleness to establish trust and a positive bond in general. There is nothing wrong with treating babies like, well, babies. Ever take a nap in a hammock? I don't believe I've ever fallen asleep in one, but I definitely used to just chill out and close my eyes on the one we used to have at my old place, under the shade of the trees. Who’s the best character in Rugrats? I don't have an opinion on this, surprisingly. I adored that show as a kid and had two video games for it. Pop-Tarts or Toaster Struddels? The latter. But both are tasty. Ever want to make out with someone, anyone, didn’t matter who? Er, no. I have to love you. Smack someone on the ass lately? This question is worded so uncomfortably lmao but no. Someone smack your ass lately? Still an uncomfortable question but no. Do you like puppies more than adult dogs? They're cute, but no. Adult dogs are generally calmer and actually know where to use the bathroom. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I plan on dyeing my hair for a loooong time if it's something extra I can afford. Is there a historical figure you find interesting? If so, who? The first person who came to mind was Pharaoh Hatshepsut. Girl power, man. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I guess maybe my dad having done serious drugs for a while. I don't know if anyone would've told me that as a kid. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? I've never vandalized, period. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? SPICY SHRIMP FRITAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS <3 What is in the back seat of your car right now? I have no idea what's in the back of Mom's car, actually. I don't pay attention. What was the last thing you threw up? I'd assume whatever I had for dinner with the medication that made me vomit. What color is your mom’s hair? Since chemo, it was growing back completely gray, so now she dyes it black. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? Yeah, no. Not even entertaining this. I'd rather die. If you swapped genders for a day, how would you spend it? Ha, it's weird, the first thing that came to mind was "how would I look in makeup?" because men in makeup can look like fuckin babes so I guess that's what I'm doing lmaooo. Have you ever been to see stand-up comedy? No, but I would. I think it sounds fun. Have you ever been in a submarine? No, but that'd be cool. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. I wish. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Ohio. Have you ever appeared on YouTube? lkajsd;lkfjae yes Have you ever planted a tree? An apple tree, yes. Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? I don't care. Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? She can animate pretty darn well! Have you ever written a song? Guys when I was a little kid I wrote a song to the Nintendogs theme fucking kill me Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? My grampa on Dad's side used to, but he's deceased now. He would do that for me and my sisters, and I always thought it was so wild, because it was like, a lot, and this man barely knew us at all because of how far away my dad's family is. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? No. Do you know anybody who has a birthday in November? I mean I'm sure I do, but no one off the top of my head that I know well, anyway. What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? Ghostface bc I've been afraid of him since I was a kid, and I HATE knives. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know if I have a favorite. He's also just in so many movies though that I could never think of all of them. Have you ever been abused by a police officer? Yikes, no. Do you know anyone who is very ignorant? Boy, do I. I know plenty. When was the last time someone said something mean and offensive to you? I don't know, and I'd rather not try to remember. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? ?????????????????????????? NO????????????????????????? WHY WOULD I WANT THAT????????????????????????????????? Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight. Name 3 YouTubers you would like to meet in person: Markiplier obvs, Rhett & Link are a pair channel, so I count them as one unit, and uhhh just one more... Snake Discovery/Emily & Ed. I could hang with them, man. What makes you more creative? Music. Have you ever slow danced with anyone? Yeah, one person. Who’s the last person to send you a message on Facebook? My sister Misty. She's making me this really cool Halloween-y wreath to keep on my door year-round. She's really good with crafts and is making some beautiful ones. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? I'd rather keep it private, but the general gist is just realizing how much I love someone again. Were you raised religious? Yes. Didn't stick. Never felt "right" or "at home" in any religion. If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I hope I would. I feel like growing up poor, it could go either way. I do THINK I'd use it pretty wisely, at least. Maybe go a bit too hard into things I seriously love (like tattoos), but then be really stingy in other areas. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? In general, yes. My favorites are still all shades and tints of red. Got any nicknames that you rarely even use? Not nicknames I use nowadays, no. Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? I’m fine being female. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? Absolutely, because of how little I've accomplished. Based on your running speed, what animal would you be? Like, a tortoise probs. :^) Can you read in public? Only if it's quiet. Pokemon, Digimon, GI JOE, Barbies, or other? Pokemon, duh. What’s something that makes you really stressed out? Not having a job, to name one thing. Are you any good at science? I've always been really good at (most) science, actually. Like language arts, it's just something that naturally "clicks" for me. Do you go on any forums on the net? Just KM right now. Got any secrets you honestly can’t say to anyone? It's not that I can't, like I don't have any deep, dark secrets that would rock someone's world if they knew, there are just things I'm never sharing. Believe in voodoo? Nah. What’s something you’ve tried really hard at? To be a decently successful photographer, but let's not get me started on that travesty. :^)

[datingadviceonreddit]

Hi all, first time posting to Reddit so sorry in advance if I ramble or do something wrong. Ill try and make this as brief and clear as possible.Some background to paint a self portrait. I'm a 25(m) and work in sales for a large distributor. I've always struggled with self esteem issues, so trying to figure out if someone is into me has always been a chore. I'm by no means a Debbie Downer about myself, I actually like to think I exude confidence and don't care about other peoples opinions. But deep down I have a real bad self-image of myself.With that in mind, I know I for sure bring some good qualities to the table. I have a decent job, I live in a house with a room mate that we purchased, i'm independent, I've got a good group of friends and a great personality. Don't want to toot my on horn, but I like to think of myself as pretty funny. I make most people I meet laugh in some way or another, and the coworker I am into is no exception. Lets get to her, I mean that's what i'm here to do after all.Ill try and describer her as best I can, we'll call her Molly. She's a 26(f) single mom with an awesome little dude for a son. The dad is still in the picture as far as a dad goes and from what I can gather from her telling me, hes not a bad dad at all. Maybe a not-so-great guy in general, but a decent dad nonetheless. Physically shes a very short and petite girl, and very in shape. I only mention this because I currently rock a dad bod (not a dad though), and I think this is one reason I debate shooting my shot or not. Our physical differences are pretty, well, different. I'm working to improve myself physically but it's a slow process. Her personality though, is almost identical to mine. We're both very sarcastic people and can easily pick fun at each other and others as well as receive it. Hopefully that's enough about each of us individually for you all to get an idea, if not let me know and I can elaborate further.Now I'll chat about our friendship thus far. We've been friends just about as long as we've worked at the same company, so about 2.5 years. The first time we hung out outside of work, I asked her if she wanted to grab sushi and she said yes. I didn't call it a date out loud but I like to think it was somewhat implied. After the first little bit of the typical awkwardness, we chatted about the usual topics 2 people talk about, what're you into outside of work, favorite music, etc etc. We found out we share a lot in common in that sense, especially music taste (alternative/punk rock). After sushi we started hanging out more frequently, usually every other weekend when she didn't have her son. There was a lull for some time where we didn't but we still talked quite a bit at work over IM. Recently we've picked back up hanging out.Alright, I guess now I'll talk about why I think (and hope) shes into me, strap in because I think this will be where the bulk of my story is. Right off the top of my head, a lot of the times we'll hang out it's because she asks. It's never "oh hey me and some friends are going out, you should come", it's "hey if you're free this weekend we should go downtown for some drinks or do dinner." I may be reading into it way too much, but they always feel kinda like dates. I've got a couple of examples I think may tip the scales one way or the other. On one occasion, she texted me around 8pm asking what I was doing, I told her the usual, hanging out at home watching TV. She asked if I had wanted to hang out and I of course said "yea, what do you have in mind?". Now, previously we had talked about me not knowing how to play many card games (think like poker and Texas hold'em). So she asked if I wanted to come over and play, she'd teach me how to play. Bare in mind this is 8 almost 9pm by the time I get to her place, all to just sit and play cards together. Which is what we did, we played some card game I had never played before and talked about our lives. She and I both hadn't known each other too long at this point but she told me some really deep stuff about her past and I reciprocated. And that was that, I left around 11pm. I for sure thought this was a weird happening but didn't know what to make of it. On another occasion, I picked her up for dinner one night, we went, had a drink or 2, and had a great time. I drove her home of course, parked in front of her apartment for about 5 minutes to chat and she got out. I was driving away and just as I left her apartment gate, got a text saying "you could have come in lol". I'm not one to invite myself in, anywhere. I didn't know how to respond and just said something along the lines of "oh haha I didn't want to invite myself in" and left it at that.Now those are just 2 instances I can think of right off the top of my head but there are a few more small things that lead me to believe this happening may be a possibility. Whenever we're driving somewhere together she always wants to DJ what we listen to so I let her. She'll often play a lot of songs about love, or relationships, or whatnot. I try to just think of it as a random selection but I don't know if it is. Specifically though, she always plays this one song Jon Bellions "All Time Low". If you haven't heard it, give it a listen, its a great song! It's also a somewhat sappy love-type song. We have a little inside joke everywhere we go there's live music where we go "I wonder if the DJ here knows that song." I once recently asked her why she plays that song all the time and she said "I don't know, its a really good song and I only play it around..." and then she trailed off and wouldn't finish her sentence. Now I know, I may be overthinking this totally but I like to think she was going to say "around you." Alright, last little tidbit I'll give you all. There's one thing we do when we go out where we'll pretend to get into a fake little "couple fight" to make other people around us go "wtf?". Nothing ever crazy, just gives us a laugh. Often, a host/hostess will be seating us and say something like "oh you 2 can sit on the same side of the booth if you want." I'll usually blurt out "we're not together" out of just general awkwardness. One or two times I've done this though she's jokingly said "oh i thought this was a date" and laugh it off. There was also a time one of our fake couple fights was something about me not caring for her anymore and she goes "you won't even hold my hand in public!". We just laughed at the strange stares passerby's gave us.Oh!! One more thing, and I promise I'm done! Within the passed month, I noticed she was on Tinder because I'm also on Tinder and saw her profile. Now, you need to note this girl has 0 social media and has sworn she'd never use a dating site because of the horror stories she's heard. So I was definitely surprised when I saw her. I took note of her Tinder bio, and texted her a little snippit of it making fun of her. She cracked up, told me she finally broke and wanted to see what it was about. She also told me she'd probably deleting it soon as well because nasty dudes were being, well, nasty dudes. I told her I totally understand that but if you delete before I get my match notification, I'll take it personally, in a joking manner. She said something along the lines of "oh no, you found my profile, I am for SURE looking for yours." A day later I IMed her at work and let her know I still had not gotten a match notification. She told me she had spent 2 hours the night before swiping left on dudes endlessly looking for me. I told her not to worry about it, I was joking, and I'm sure there are plenty more dudes to go through that women. She shortly deleted later that day after being fed up with the grossness. I, in the mean time however, had matched with someone else on Tinder and brought it up to her. This girl I had matched was pregnant, but that stuff doesn't bother me. Now Molly seemed a lot more interested in this Tinder match than I. She asked me on 2 separate occasions "so how would that work if you guys start seeing each other and she has the kid?". I responded honestly "I don,t mind, Id help with this kid if she wanted me to or just stay out of it that's what she wanted." I talked to Tinder match for about a week and a half, and daily to semi-daily, Molly would ask how she was. I'd say fine, I'm not really vibing with her but ill give her a shot. Luckily I never had to, because she found someone else on Tinder ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. No sweat off my back, but I found it odd Molly asked about her a lot.Alright Reddit, that,s my story. I'll end with this, I really REALLY like this girl, not just your usual run of the mill crush. That's why i'm petrified of coming out and telling her how I feel. Plus, lets say my guts wrong and i'm looking into this all wrong, it would make work pretty damn awkward. Looking back on this as my first post it looks like I wrote a small novel so I get if no one reads this or reads it in full. Typing this all up is kind a of a good way for me to reflect. But id really enjoy some second opinions and advise if you have time. Sorry again for any error or wall of text! If you need any other info just let me know :) thanks!​ via /r/dating_advice