#gunther has no fucking shame.

[aaaaaaaaaaaa-hey-its-jude-or-bee]

HAIIII HEY HELOOOOOO

I haven't sent an ask in sooooOOoo long ong

Hru bee???

Still on Harvey, Rasmodius, Gunter, Pierre and the new addition; WILLY OUR FAVOURITE FISH GUY 😍😍😍😍😍

ok but imagine just cuddling up by the sea. Date night while the water flows and reflects light ever luminously.

- 🫚anon

Would absolutely kill for a date with any of them wOULD DO IT I WOULD. AND FOR WILLY??? THE FUNNIEST THING I ACTUALLY REMEMBER NOW IS WHEN I STARTED PLAYING STARDEW VALLEY AGAIN AFTER A FEW YEARS I ASKED MY MOM IF I COULD ROMANCE WILLY AND I GOT SO UPSET AND DISAPPOINTED I COULDN'T ROMANCE THE FISHER MAN. LIKE???

mom is in living room watching a show, I'm in the room across from the living room on the PC, calling out to her and she won't reply until way later, I ask if I can romance willy, she says no, I get sad, and Disappointment fills me, sighs and moves on, but still loves him until i spend hours playing it and then there's the beef with him, then, later I realize I still love him, but I can't because I'm married to Harvey, and have been, and I just silently curse everything but not willy or Harvey, I stick with my husband BC I love him

Then I have this mod where a lot of things are changed and happens, BUT SUDDENLY GUNTHER SHOWS UP ON MY FUCKING PORCH WHILE I'M BESIDE MT HUSBAND, AND WE PLANNED A DATE NOT EVEN A SECOND LATER?? I don't know what he was asking me I forgot but there was something, a special event happening with the museum and people were gonna be there and like some people in power?? Dude idk??? But he wanted me to go with him??? While my husband, Harvey, the local doctor, is standing beside me, and him. And I was just ??? Shocked. He didn't even let me respond he left afterwards, and the worst part is I have the Yandere Harvey mod and some Harvey mods, and he spoke about something about our home after and said how there's still homewreckers out there who would try and ruin our marriage, and how he would have to take care of it or would have to deal with it. Was stunned and shocked. Absolutely.

[kremlin]

you know, i don't do the super longform posts like i used to, i mean to say, i don't post them anymore, but i still do write looooong ass walls of text, they don't ever make it to my blog. idk. on re-read they all have a very distinctive, unmistakable smell of "bus stop crazy" to them, and even after fixing all the grammar mistakes & forgotten words & etc they graduate from nutcase scribblings to "manifesto"

all those posts go to pastebin, anonymously, and then on to reddit, which is a huge pain, i have to farm throwaway accounts for like a year, not posting at all, before i can post a pastebin link and not have it be spam filtered, just to gauge how accurate my self-assessment is. it doesn't work because nobody reads it, unlike this blog, where 5-6 people read it.

and even that isn't working due to a wild phenomenon. when you write about niche subjects unappetizing to a normal audience, it only really makes its way to the same freaks that you're already friends with. in my case, these are people i've spoken with at great length solely textually over the internet, for like, twenty fuckin years. it probably wouldn't surprise you to know that they can clock something i've written like eight sentences in. and this sucks, it defeats the purpose of trying to hide my Shame Posts from the world with anonymity, so let me tell you what i did.

i tried just, you know, making a conscious effort to write in the most unkremlin way possible, and the result was indifferentiable than something i wrote normally. like, didn't even fool them any longer than otherwise. sure. fine. i guess that isn't interesting. but i wasn't satisfied.

so i call in an owed favor to a buddy that has zero language skills, like, unless you are speaking to him and standing in front of him, every message, regardless of platform, will read like a business email, signature and all. total dingus. he's like 26 & perpetually on welfare, (like all elite programmers) but writes like he's your dad sending email with that fancy corporate-branded-outlooko client that auto-appends some long ass disclaimer to all your email. anyways, that's besides the point, i gave him something i wrote & asked him to rewrite it in his own voice. no dice. "this sounds like something kremlin wrote but he's doing some kind of joke i don't understand, or maybe he got hit in the head". fuck. so i write a WHOLE new thing, not even solely focused on some niche subject that auto-reduces the potential culprits to like 5 people, and i give his ass the broad strokes of what i wrote and asked him to flesh it out. only a marginal improvement. they still nailed me after just a bit more thinking.

so fuck it. i hit up "Gunther" which i don't have the right keys on my keyboard to type properly, there's two dots over the U. gunther is very clearly a german guy, which you can tell on account of him speaking German, and when you speak to him in english, he's all "wast ist das" and shit. so i try giving HIM the broad strokes and having him re-create it, which was an idea/concept he did not grasp fully or understand on account of us not really sharing a language exactly. guess what. it wasn't immediately recognized, at least, it took about an hour for them to deduce i was the author, and at this point i have given up, i have lost because these increasingly cartoon antics have become my signature, and i will never be able to escape the shame of my Weird Bad Writing. they even figured out it was gunther sort-of-ghostwriting it, since it didn't have the quirks of software translation & was sent using some fucking ISO/IEC charset that europeans prefer over utf-8, at least the ones i talk to, for completely unknown reasons. they try and explain it, and i can't figure out what they're talking about, not because i don't speak french & german but because i don't speak ÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈ

i will never -- and this is a solemn promise -- write in any other way than to bang out the whole thing in 1 hour, never organizing anything, never looking backwards even 2-3 words, never *ever* proofreading (i get someone else to do it for me with explicit instructions to only fix grammar & highlight completely incomprehensible gibberish that they couldn't decipher for my reluctant fixing). i will also never stop posting it.

[formula1fanfiction]

Mick Schumacher / Max Verstappen

Title: Temporary fix

Pairing: Mick Schumacher / Max Verstappen

Characters: Mick Schumacher, Max Verstappen

Prompt: Requested

Prompt: Since their childhood Max and Mick know each other well and when Mick lost his seat Max try to cheer him up. Top Max

"I can't believe it Max, my lifelong dream and it's over just like that."  Mick leans into Max's open arms and allows himself to be cuddled. The first thing Mick did after getting the call from Gunther is call Max, Max can't quite understand what he's going through but he's a good friend.

"My dad would be so disappointed in me." Mick sobs, tears dripping onto Max's shoulder. The Dutchman doesn't seem to mind though. "Don't say that, your dad would be so proud of you." Mick nods, but he doesn't really agree.

"I just want to feel something other than shame and disappointment Max." Max smiles, sadly pulling Mick into an even tighter hug. He feels loved warm and safe wrapped up here. "Just tell me what you need Mick."

Mick glances up at Max, his blue eyes are filled with sadness. It only makes Mick want him even more, he craves more of that love and safety. It could only be made better by Max fucking him. "I need you to fuck me, Max."

"What? Are you sure?" Max pulls away from the hug to look Mick in the eye. Mick forces himself to look back, he needs Max to know just how badly he wants this. Max nods and Mick feels the tension leave his body.

Things escalate quickly from there and Mick finds himself spread out naked on the bed, watching Max slick up his fingers. "Are you sure you want this?" Mick nods, so Max presses a finger against Mick's entrance and slowly sinks inside, Mick sighs finally feeling something other than sadness.

Max thrusts lightly with the single digit, feeling Mick open up around him, only then does he add a second. The second is much more of a strech and it takes a little while for Max to finally get going but thanks to the slippery aid of lube he's soon able to fuck him with the two fingers. Max eventually makes his way up to four fingers and has them easily thrusting in and out of the younger man. "I think you're ready."

Mick watches as Max spreads some lube onto his cock and raises his legs and wraps them around Max's strong waist. He sucks in a breath of anticipation as he finally feels Max sinking into him, gently slowly, giving him an inch at time this is exactly what Mick needs. Mick can't stop the groan from falling from his lips when Max eventually bottoms out, the older one stalls for a few seconds, giving Mick plenty of time to adjust.

Mick feels full and happy once Max starts to move. The thrusts are slow but enough to make the pounding full of pleasure, Mick doesn't even try to stop the loud groans falling from his lips this is the pleasure he really needs. Max's strong hands grip his hips tightly, keeping him in place speeding up a little with every thrust giving Mick the safety and closeness he needs.

This isn't the first time they've fucked, but this is the first time it's been soft and gentle. It's almost like they are making love to each other and not just Mick getting pity sex from an old friend.

Mick sinks back into the bed sheets letting Max take him apart, piece by piece. It feels amazing being pounded into over and over again, letting the sadness slip away with every thrust into his body. Max squeezes Mick's body impossibly tighter and cries out his name. Max finds Mick's prostate and he's seeing white hot pleasure, bringing him closer and closer to the point of no return.

He never want this to end, he just wants Max buried inside him for the rest of his life.  That way he'll never feel the disappointment of losing his seat, the disappointment of Haas and the deep shame buried deep inside of him. He's just not as good as his father.

"You're crying, are you okay?" Max's voice pulls him from deep inside of his head. Mick nods, the tears are rolling down his cheek, no he needs them to stop. "Fuck me harder Max, I need it."

Max complies he speeds up pistoning into Mick with a punishing speed. Max sinks his nails into Max's pale skin, leaving scratches and wilts in his wake. "Yes Max, this is what i need."

Max speeds up even more, spurred on by the scratches on his Max, there are going to be marks to explain but he just can't bring himself to care. The sound of skin slapping against skin echo's through the room along with both men's moans of pleasure.

"I'm so close, Max please." Max wraps his fist around Mick's cock and slams into him with all his might, battering into his prostate with every thrust. Mick can't hold on much longer, his orgasm is ripped from him, he screams Max's name over and over again until he's sure he passes out. Max himself is close, he bites down on Mick's exposed shoulder and comes inside of him, filling Mick with his hot, white seed.

"Are you okay, Mick? I lost control there at the end." Max pulls out and flops down onto the bed besides Mick.

Mick can only nod, he allows himself to be pulled into a strong sweaty cuddle. He doesn't know what he's going to do next year but at least he'll always have the safe arms of Max to hold onto.

[issela-santina]

Götterdämmerung Opernhaus Zürich (Noseda, Homoki) first impressions

for context I stumbled into the same event's Rheingold and Walküre during their back halves and either Mezzo TV skipped Siegfried or I missed it during the weeks I was out, shame

the Norns looked very Targaryen coded for me and this is a narrative with a Targaryen analogue aka Siegfried who to me is like Taylor Swift and Daenerys Targaryen at the same time. I will elaborate later

it's one thing to put on a horse helmet and gallop around and it's another thing to do that and then realise that you forgot your weapon. my ADHD ass felt that

Hagen is a walking gothic spire with that fucking bass to match and he can pin me to the wall with his spear any day

the color coding between the Gibichungs and the lead couple is sending me. Gutrune rocks that shade of red like a diva

Waltraute's eyes scare me more than her account of what happened after Brünnhilde was banished

it pierces me (pun intended) to see Wotan catatonic ngl, not just a how the mighty have fallen trope but it's also that he's got no voice in this finale (congrats Tomasz you can rest now) which scares me because this is a daddy whose issues fucked him so bad that his daughters feel like walking on eggshells waiting for him to speak

the funny thing about giving Gunther a lob while both his sister and Siegfried have one is that Klaus Florian Vogt could just put on the ginger wig and it would still work; instead we have of course the Tarnhelm as a hood (ok this is nice) and then Daniel Schmutzhard coming in with a blank face like an egg ghost from the Korean exorcist drama Sell Your Haunted House possessed the man

why is Hagen surrounded by John Wick variants. why is everyone in black. Wave-Götterdämmerung-Treffen? Goth-erdämmerung? goddamn. I want to join

I am also just enamored in the most childish way whenever somebody wears a robe and it swishes when they move; Hagen and Brünnhilde and Gutrune you all have me in a chokehold

Gunther should have married Siegfried

it gets even more ridiculous because Walküre specifically dealt with twincest and now we have a pair of siblings who consciously don't want to do that and still get their asses bitten because they chose an inbred with a violently protective gf

if I were to explain this opera to people who don't know shit it's “how to exploit the bro code when the inbred boyfriend you godmothered against your daddy's wife's wishes cheats on you with a couple that specifically isn't interested in incest”

maybe Siegfried wouldn't have been too faithful either if he didn't drink that love potion; it stretches the story but it adds intrigue and a bit of realism because honestly, men, but still, runtime, and also, men

Gutrune acting like a coquette for over half the number she spends alone with Siegfried and then shagging him at the end is very fan fiction paced

Camilla Nylund, I love you

the reason I said Siegfried is like Taylor Swift is that both of them are likable especially when you're a white supremacist

Hagen and Brünnhilde make an interesting parallel because both of them have beef with their dads and that beef is just left to rot with only Alberich still alive at the end

the tree trunk has a face on one of its sides, I wonder if it's intentional

camera focus on KFV's hand as he lies lifeless at the bed kinda lost its power when later Siegfried is shown to reanimate again to give the ring to Brünnhilde (her death being shown as him taking her and the horse helmet by the hand to exit stage left is quite cute though)

as with Rheingold the look of the Rhine girls just being in pajamas sharing a bed while the rotating set is almost entirely white registers to me like either The Matrix or an asylum — though because Homoki made the concept really sparse it does let the viewer fill in those blanks in their head

lol @ Hagen's defenestration. lol

[hms-tardimpala]

Catching up on Raw 15/10/24

Strange start to a Raw, the show usually opens with the commentators welcoming the audience but it took seven minutes to see them. I like when the camera follows a wrestler to the ring but I would have liked maybe a little more opening at the opening. If that makes sense.

Oh straight to the championship tag team match, okay.

Like the choice of having Rhea look like she's getting a headache whenever Tiffany is around. Tiffy is a lot (but we love her).

So this is a match with Jade Cargill and Bianca Belair. Okay. Please let Jade do more than 30% of the work this time, I'm starting to dislike her. Bianca does all the work and takes all the heat every time!

Jeez, Biance Belair and Iyo Sky together in the ring again. What a sight!

Okay, that backbreaker by Cargill was beautiful.

Are you serious? Did Jade just slam Bianca on the mat?? Rrrr not my girl!

I love Iyo stepping on her opponent and screaming, she has great ring attitude.

Aaaaaannd Bianca did most of the work again. I'm ready for this dynamic to be used in their future feud.

Yes, finally things are gonna move in the men's tag team championship on Raw. I keep forgetting McDonagh and Bálor are champions because they never defend!

Ugh American Made promo. I hate them so much. I know I'm supposed to but still!

Okay, first I thought the Bron/Jey thing had no basis, but the family thing helps make it believable. They genuinely had a different career approach in this respect, that can cause some sort of ideological different.

Bronson Reed is articulating his requests very well. What a dream employee! This is the most civilized exchange I've seen Adam Pearce have with one of his wrestlers in a while.

Hello War Raiders, nice to meet you! Cool metal entrance theme.

This was a squash.

Rollins owning the fact that he's at an injury-prone point in his career is kinda cool. He does have a whiny voice but he makes good points.

Adam Pearce take a acting class please. His response to anything supposed to be intense is to rake his glasses off, it's so funny.

Come on Cody, you're not home on Raw, don't take up too much of the Raw roster's time. (I understand that they have to build up to the Crown Jewel matches but I see enough of Cody on Smackdown as it is. Nia is allowed to invade as often as she wants to though <3)

I don't like Gunther but him telling Cody "You want to be everybody's darling" is spot-on.

New Day terrible no good couple's therapy incoming yayyyyy!

Oh, Dragon Lee promo in my weekly? More likely than I thought.

Kofi you're good, but now might be a good time to count your teeth. They're really building Bron Breakker strong.

Xavier's not even at ringside for Kofi owww 🥺

Can we agree not to take our eyes off Bron until he's left the room, guys?

I like that they're retiring the Terror Twins, it's a really cool dynamic and I wouldn't want it to overstay its welcome. Damian should be in the title race (please, I want to see him ragdoll Punk), the Judgment Day feud didn't do him any favors booking-wise these past two months. And Rhea must come back to the women's division full time to give it a kick in the ass.

Oh it's my boy Jimmy! Apologize to your brother! Have growth!

Aww no it's time for the R-Truth/Miz match 🥺 my poor heart. I want R-Truth to win but I don't think it'll happen. Also, cool ring gear for the Miz, but I liked the old one better.

Lmao R-Truth, good on you!!

No no no no no don't hurt him!

It's gonna be a journey, Jimmy, I'm with you.

Let's see Raquel Rodriguez in action in the ring properly. Oh, she doesn't have a theme? Just Liv's? Shame.

Okay but I lowkey hope Rhea's hubris fucks her here and she loses because she doesn't tag often enough.

Oh Tiffy forced the tag, good on you, barbie girl!

That human missile was well-filmed.

Nia! 😍

I love all these women with toxic relationships beating each other up <33

Lmao Nia looking for the briefcase. She has comedic talent!

Alright, this Raw was kinda messy, but I'm interested in a lot of plots they're advancing!

[killerbananas]

Caught Masturbating

Dialogue or thoughts of various AOT characters as they catch you getting off without them.

🔞 mdni | masterlist | varied readers

Characters [all 18+]: Annie, Armin, Bertholdt, Connie, Eld, Eren, Erwin, Gunther, Hange, Historia, Jean, Kenny, Levi, Marcel, Marco, Miche, Mikasa, Moblit, Nanaba, Petra, Pieck, Porco, Reiner, Sasha, Yelena, Ymir, Zeke

Warnings: smut; masturbation, fingering/hand job, oral, Dom/sub tones, degradation/humiliation, tiny bit of blasphemy, dubcon, voyeurism, exhibitionism, Daddy 1x, spanking, orgasm control, sensory deprivation

Key: "Dialogue." // 'Thought.'

AN: This is an old work of mine previously posted on tumblr.

Punishes you

Annie | "You wanted to get caught. Didn't you? Well, I'm here now. So what will you do next, hm?"

Erwin | "And here I was going to let you ride my face tonight. Now you'll have to earn it."

Gunther | "Mm, very naughty of you. Didn't you want to be good for me? You really forced my hand here. Beg me a bit and I might let you pick your punishment, but you better make it fit the crime or I won't be so nice a second time."

Kenny | "Sweet thing, couldn't wait for Daddy? Look so needy all spread and wet. Shame it has to be this way. Ass up. Count loud so the neighbors can hear you or you don't come."

Levi | "Tsk, couldn't even keep it in your pants? Fucking brat. Don't get shy now. In fact, slap your clit three times or I'll make sure you don't get to sit for a week. Don't play with me."

Miche | "Oh, didn't even see me there? Then put your hands up and you're going to watch me come without being able to do a thing about it. Maybe you'll think before being so disrespectful next time."

Porco | "Woah, hands off what's mine, slut."

Yelena | "Make some room or I'll make it for you, brat. You were so busy getting yourself off, you didn't even know I was there. We need to figure out how to teach you some self-awareness. Maybe the flogger in the right spot at the right time will get it across better."

Ymir | "Oh, my bad girl. It's going to take a while to make this rule stick, huh? On your knees. Now."

Zeke | "You heathen. Come here before you make a mess. Ah, no. Crawl."

Joins you for mutual masturbation

Connie | "Hey! You're having all the fun without me. How about we watch each other?"

Eren | "Oh shit. Wha-hey, you got started without me? I'm hurt. I'll forgive you if you make some room for me, help me out."

Jean | "Fuck, you look amazing. Mind if I join you?"

Marcel | "Honey? You're up? Wha-oh. Wake me up next time. C'mere. Fuck you're so wet."

Marco | "Ah, woah. You know, we're usually better as a team. Think there's some room for me there with you?"

Pieck | "How about we see how long you can keep your hands to yourself if I lay next to you."

Petra | "I think this would be a good couple's activity. Scoot over."

Zeke | "You need some help there? Give me your hand and I'll guide you."

Watches you secretly

Annie | 'I should probably leave, but what's the harm when they look so focused?'

Armin | 'That's it. Spread your legs. Please, just a little mo-ah. To be those fingers...'

Bertholdt | 'Oh man, I shouldn't do this. It's wrong. Just turn around right now and... I didn't know they liked that. They look so beautiful. Maybe just a minute won't hurt.'

Eld | 'I wonder what they'd do if I stepped out. Would they be more likely to call me a pervert or give me a taste? Maybe both.'

Eren | 'Is that... it is. They look so into it. D-did they just say my name? Fuck, that's hot. I didn't know they were so vocal.'

Marcel | 'I don't think today could get any better.'

Miche | 'Shit. I hope they didn't hear my zipper. Then again, maybe it's better if they do.'

Reiner | 'I feel so guilty, but if they didn't want to be seen, maybe they shouldn't have made so much noise. Do they want to be watched?'

Watches you openly

Kenny | "Oh, fuck. What a goddamn sight this is. No, no, continue. You seem awful busy and I'm awful interested in a show tonight."

Eld | "I thought you liked spreading your legs. Seemed you were enjoying it a whole lot a moment ago. How about this... You do exactly what you were just doing and I'm going to watch those hands of yours. Then, after you catch your breath, you're going to watch me take you apart with mine."

Erwin | "Go slow for me, pet. You're so lewd and you blush so pretty. Can't end this too soon."

Hange | "Show me what you like. I wanna see you make your toes curl. Y'know, for science."

Levi | "Are you close already? Hands up. Stop whining or I'll have to stuff that insolent mouth of yours."

Mikasa | "Go on. Let me see you. Don't be shy. You're dripping like some kind of indulgent dessert."

Nanaba | "Hey there. Yeah, surprise, hah. What started all this, hmm? Miss me, sweetheart?"

Porco | "Keep going. You wanted to come so bad, then let's see it. But I bet you can't without my help. You know you come ten times harder when I get you off, but you seem so determined. Poor thing."

Sasha | "You look good enough to eat, baby. Show me how wet you are."

Blushes, asking if you need a hand or mouth

Armin | "I know you seem to be doing fine on your own, but do you trust me? I want to try something. Close your eyes. Is it snug? Can you see through it? Perfect. Lean back and enjoy yourself."

Bertholdt | "Don't be embarrassed, angel. I know, that's rich coming from me, but I mean it. Why don't you sit on my lap? Give me your hand and help me help you."

Mikasa | "If you want, I could just lay between your legs and give you a hand. What do you say?"

Historia | "Oh! I didn't realize you were home. Wait! Don't get up. Could I have a taste, please?"

Marco | "You seem a bit bothered. Want me to do that thing you like with my tongue?"

Moblit | "No, I'm not insulted. In fact, I'm enamored, if I can be honest. Can I try?"

Petra | "You look like you've got things, erm, handled, but could I, I mean, would you mind if I showed you a little trick that really does it for me? I bet you'll like it."

Reiner | "Wow. Sorry. I-uh, thought this room was empty. I'll just g--what? Are you sure?" [5 minutes later.] "C-can I join you? You look so fucking good. It'd be an honor to taste you. Please?"

Sasha | "Please? I'm starving! It's torture watching you and not playing."

Thanks so much for reading! If you enjoyed this format and wanna see more, please smash the heart and tell me in the comments or tags of a reblog 💖

Taglist: @antoxsmith @bakidose @butwestillrememberyourname @casuallyck @chaotic-nick @eyesucket @pockcock @theinariakuma

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome to Part 1 of Union Spare Finale Extravaganza! It’s the morning after and Daniel is picking his pesticide-riddled oranges, blissfully unaware of the fact his brother has cucked him for the second time. Real talk, is Gunther the worst sim-sibling of all time?? Like he’s without a doubt the worst one I’ve ever had in my game, but I’m starting to think he literally might be the worst one IN GENERAL.

-Oh what beautiful oranges, perfect for my ‘I love you, Melody’ cake!

Ya you might wanna hold off on putting your apron on, Dan. 

Sup, Goro?

-I sense a shitshow in the near future. 

You know what, I sense it as well.

-Time to peace out.

GORO NO. GOD, CAN DANIEL CATCH A BREAK 

Welcome home, Mel, lol @ your outfit, now get out. 

DECISION TIME. Seriously I have had it with you three bitches, whoever Gunther autonomously interacts with first is who he’s getting with and he breaks up with the other one FOREVER.

-Can you unglitch my arm first?

No, Melody looks ridic so it evens out.

Any day now, Gunther! Just pick between Glitchy and Jacques Cousteau and go chat with one of them or whatever, I’m so sick of your shit.

-You know, I think instead of chatting it’s better to be as devastating to my wife as possible!

......BRO. Legit I wash my hands off this mess, Gunther and Melody blew up their marriages all on their own free will, I can’t believe he went for the romantic dance bs RIGHT IN FRONT OF BRIT. COLD BLOODED.

-OH MY HEART. MY HEART. I CAN’T EVEN CLUTCH IT BECAUSE MY HAND IS GLITCHED. DAMN BOTH OF YOU 

-HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH MY FORMER BEST FRIEND I STOLE YOU FROM?? HAVE YOU NO SHAME???

Melody: *loving life*

-WE’RE DONE, YOU STUPID SLUTBAG, YOU HEAR ME?! YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME OR REGINALD AGAIN!!!! -OMG :O WHO’S REGINALD :O

Brit’s want panel immediately post-break up..

..vs Gunther’s. Boy this marriage is DUNZO, I can’t believe how badly it crapped out.

-What’s the cab doing here, I saw yellow and almost went in!

Well sorry to inconvenience you, Gunther, it’s picking up your son and former wife.

-Why??

Because you’re getting divorced???

-Oh right! So I really kissed Mel in front of Brit, that wasn’t the acid?

Gunther ISTG, just fuck off to work.

It’s time to deliver the final blow so Gunther invites the Tinker-Union household over and I thought I’d have to teleport Daniel but he accepted??

-It’s been 20 years, how can I turn down my own brother when he wants to bury the hatchet?

Oh poor Daniel.. POOR DANIEL.

-Seriously!? AGAIN?!?

Bro I loled irl when he turned around and looked at me like this, he’s not even mad, literally just exasperated. 

-GO TO HELL MELODY BUT I HOPE WE CAN HAVE A HEALTHY CO-PARENTING RELATIONSHIP

Ya you didn’t even have that when actually married, I can tell by Melody’s ecstatic face she’s never seeing those kids again.  

-Oh God, Daniel is so hot when he’s getting slapped by Gunther! I’m starting to remember why I married him..

Mel there are no words to describe how hard you and Gunther deserve each other.

-STABBING ME WOULD HAVE BEEN A LESS BARBARIC WAY TO END THIS MARRIAGE COMPARED TO CHEATING WITH FUCKING GUNTHER,  HOW COULD YOU DO THIS ME?!?

-I have no good answer but let me offer you this appalled and remorseful expression!

Melody immediately moved out but Brit missed the memo and came over to steal her newspaper.

-That will teach that homewrecking slut!! -WAAAH she doesn’t live here anymore, Brit!

Ya also you’re not holding anything?

-This was a SUCCESSFUL newspaper theft!

JuJu is back from school and they got perfect grades.

-Best day ever!! I gotta run and show Dad!!!

-WAAAAAH JULIAN, MOM LEFT US -I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN. I KNEW IT. NOTHING GOOD COMES OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS, I’M BREAKING UP WITH MARSHA BRUENIG TOMORROW

Melody moves in with Gunther and what can I say guys, like it or not, they love each other. He never did this ‘follow around the house for non-stop romantic interactions’ bs with Brit even tho he also had 3 bolts with her-

-and it’s ALL HE FREAKING DOES NOW. He won’t even let Melody go to the bathroom in peace.

Idk dude, if you’re a long-time reader you remember I thought these two were perfect for each other since they were teens, but when the wife-swap disaster happened and Gunther rolled the insane engagement want I was like ‘ok obviously Gun + Brit are endgame!’ and then their marriage was a complete flop even before Mel got involved.

I’ve said it before, I really feel like Gunther was only into Brit as some form of bratty early 20′s rebellion against ending up with his high school sweetheart because the speed with which this shit deteriorated was unreal, like the second he got back with Mel he blew up his marriage, even Cyneswith knows better than to do this shit, all the times she’s gotten caught it was the other guy’s fault! 

So is there a takeaway here?

Love prevails?? Ya, let’s go with that, but lmao.

-Yaaay, everyone’s happy -___-

Sorry Brit, you should have read the fine print on that prenup!

Will Brittany become an Icon? Will Gunther and Melody last? Will Daniel find love again? Will JuJu grow up to be the best looking spawns this family has produced? (I can already answer the last one, yes!) Join us in part 2 to find out!

[emilyrox]

If you want an excuse to ramble about your headcanons for a long-ass amount of time, I'll your excuse.

Rant to me.

Aight Bet.

These will just be my sexuality headcanons for each character, not who I ship them with.

The Actual Reasons For My Headcanons:

Because I said so (Applies to all)

The “Logical/Analyzed” Reasons For My Headcanons:

The Captain (Genderfluid Abrosexual): Canonically, The Captain is referred to with they/them pronouns, is found attractive by almost everyone, and is said to be “so handsome and/or beautiful” by almost everyone. The identity of The Captain is also canonically whoever the viewer is. This means their gender and sexuality changes/fluctuates constantly depending on the viewer. Random Headcanon time: The Captain is so handsome and/or beautiful that anyone who tries to merely use the gender binary to describe them throws up rainbow bile mid-sentence.

Allu Minium (Nonbinary Pansexual): The actor for Allu Minium, Lio Tipton, is nonbinary and pansexual themselves. Also, in an Allu makeup tutorial livestream, it was revealed their design was initially supposed to have the nonbinary flag colors, but the yellow makeup was hard to see. Random Headcanon time: Allu did not initially know what the word nonbinary was. They just knew they weren’t male or female. Once they really got into studying human customs and cultures, they learned what gender and sexuality labels are, and nearly exploded with joy after finding ones that applied to them.

Mark (Pansexual): In the Noir route, it’s revealed in one of his internal monologues that Mark has a crush on The Captain, who, as stated earlier, can be literally any gender. No matter what gender The Captain is, Mark is attracted to them. Random Headcanon time: When Mark has a crush on someone, he will be 100% loyal to them, and gush about them non-stop to the point where the rest of the Invincible II crew considers throwing him out of the airlock.

Celci (Pansexual): (I may be wrong about this, please correct me if I am) The actress for Celci, Pamela Horton, while she is not sure what sexuality label fits her best, she is certain that she loves people of all types regardless of gender. Random Headcanon time: Celci doesn’t usually express her romantic/sexual attraction externally when she has a crush on someone, as she needs to stay serious and focused when on duty. But internally she is yelling the equivalent of a keyboard smash.

Burt (Demiromantic): Burt doesn’t talk as much as the other members of the Invincible II crew, specifically early in the series. As the series continues, he starts talking more, and although some of what he says is cryptic, what he does say carries a lot of meaning. I like to think that he usually stays reserved when he doesn’t know someone well, talks more as he gets to know them, and talks *a lot* when a true emotional connection is formed with them. Him talking a lot to and with them is a sign that he is attracted to them. Random Headcanon time: The first time Burt felt romantic attraction towards someone was when he joined the Invincible II crew. It was is towards Gunther. (I know I said I wouldn’t talk about my ships here but l i s t e n).

Gunther (Gay): In his introductory scene, Gunther smacks Mark on the ass (epic evidence I know). Gunther is both very extraverted and has an attitude of “I don’t care what you think of me.” Very self-confident in himself, and his abilities. I mean, he felt comfortable smacking Mark’s ass in the middle of the ship with plenty of other crew members present. I think he doesn’t give a fuck what others think of his sexuality. Random Headcanon time: If someone ever does try to shame him for being gay, he’s like “Well your dad wasn’t complaining last night” or “Yeah, and I’m also a gunslinger. *pulls out pistol.* Gonna bitch about that, too?”

The Bandit (Biromantic Asexual): When The Captain first meets The Bandit, it's shown that she's one of the many people to find The Captain attractive. Although I used similar reasoning to explain Mark as Pan, I headcanon that she prefers Bi as her label. In the Noir route, it’s shown in her internal monologue just how attractive she thinks The Captain is. But I think in that instance she feels aesthetic attraction (and romantic attraction) but not sexual. She knows when someone (such as The Captain) is aesthetically pleasing and wants to get to know them, but not with any sexual intent or desire. Random Headcanon time: She doesn’t want to have sex with anyone, nor does she want to see content that contains it in great detail. She is, however, completely fine with sex jokes, and will make a good amount of them to the point where outside parties think she’s bisexual and not biromantic.

Mack (Polysexual Trans Male): Mack is the substitute for Mark in an alternate universe. Mack is like Mark in many ways (his name, head engineer, egotistical, acts like they know everything) but there are small differences. “Mack” is one letter off from “Mark,” his egotism is higher than Mark’s, he’s actually a competent head engineer, etc. I feel like this would also apply to Mack’s gender + sexuality. I headcanon Mark as pansexual (attraction regardless of gender), which is a multisexual label. Polysexual (attraction to various, but not all, genders) is another multisexual label. Pan and Poly are similar, but not the same. They are also both canonically men, another similarity, but I see Mark as a cis man, and headcanon Mack as a trans man. Also, in the route where The Captain points out Mack isn’t Mark, he ends up glitching out of the universe, but right before he disappears, he yells at The Captain “You do not get to choose whether or not I exist! This is my ship!” So this line hits different now. Random Headcanon time: In the route where he becomes a dictator, every homophobe/transphobe got sentenced to death immediately. It’s the one good thing that came out of his reign.

Wug (Unlabeled/Ambiguous): (I may be wrong about this one too, please correct me if I am) Wug is a robot alien from a species also known as Wug. All Wugs look and sound the same regardless of gender. The Wug we befriend uses he/him pronouns, but I’m not certain if he identifies as a man, or if he simply prefers those pronouns. In the Noir route we encounter another Wug that goes by she/her pronouns, but I’m also unsure if this Wug identifies as a woman, or if she simply prefers those pronouns. What I do know is that she does not identify as a male Wug, and is a different gender than our Wug. The sexuality of our Wug is also unknown. Wug is one of the people to see The Captain as “handsome and/or beautiful” but other than that there is no potential indication that Wug is romantically/sexually attracted to The Captain, or to anyone else. His interactions with other characters show that he just wants to be a helpful, caring friend. I don't know what labels Wug would use for his gender and sexuality, if he uses labels at all. Whatever the case, he is completely valid. Random Headcanon time: Whenever asked what his identity specifically is, he replies with “Wug is Wug!”

Ms. Whitacre (Ally): Ms. Whitacre is your typical sweet, kind old lady. She calls everyone “dearie” or “dear,” bakes you cookies, gives you motivational speeches, is an omniscient reality warper, y’know, typical caring grandma. You cannot tell me that she didn’t adopt all these baby gays (they’re all adults but to her they’re basically children) as soon as she saw them. Random Headcanon time: At the colony’s first space pride she wears a shirt that says “My Grandchildren Are Gay.”

[oneofthosesimps]

Martyr

pairing: levi x reader I nsfw

word count: 5729

summary: after a long day and lots of tension, levi takes care of you and fucks you into your dilirium

warnings: choking (i mean like you get no air at all), rough sex, dirtytalk, swearing, sub x dom

authors note: ok, i'm absolutely not satisfied with the fanfic, but i've been sitting on it for way too long and i have to get it out now, because i can't work on anything else. the next one will be better, i promise.

all credits to the artist of this pic

i hope that's right

-----

"They're miserable" Oluo says to you and wrinkles his nose. You look at Marco Bott in front of you, hanging in the ropes of the ODM gear and trying with all his might to keep his balance.

A gust of air swirls individual leaves around you, causing a few strands of your hair to fall into your face. The ropes of the ODM gear blow back and forth slightly and this small movement completely throws Bott off balance. You can see the effort and sweat beading on his face, he clenches his teeth tightly before panic overcomes him. His body can't find balance and he starts to row his arms, but it's too late. He topples over backwards and with a dull thud his head hits the stone floor. "Pathetic," you mutter, grabbing your forehead with your hand. Actually, such an impact shouldn't even happen, but judging by the appearance, since Bott slipped out of the leather straps, he hadn't fastened them properly. "The students are a disaster," Oluo says in your direction, and you nod slightly at him.

"Okay, Bott, out of the harnesses! Arlert, you're up next!" he shouts to the other group members, then runs to Marco to help him out of his predicament.

Your eyes roam over the other groups and their contraptions. Oluo was right with his statement. It's been a long time since you've seen such a pile of work. There are individual exceptions like Mikasa Ackerman or Annie Leonhardt, but as mentioned before, these are only exceptions. The rest are doing just as poorly as Bott. A long sigh escapes you.

"They are a bunch of shit.” Your hackles stand up and a cold shiver runs down your spine. The goosebumps start at your shoulders and then spread down your arms. Your heart seems to skip a beat.

"Yes, they are, Captain." Oluo stands next to you again and your captain joins in as well. Out of the corner of your eye, you look to your left at Levi, who looks straight ahead with his arms folded in front of his chest.

"Oi, Arlert, you're a disgrace to our troop. Get a grip."

"Yes, sir," Armin shouts back, but you can see the uncertainty Levi's words bring and his whole-body tenses. He also loses his balance, his body swings backwards and he hangs upside down in the ropes, like Marco Bott before - at least he doesn't hit his head.

"What did I tell you!!! Tighten the center!" roars Oluo, stomping his feet as he makes his way to Arlert.

A breeze comes up again, stronger this time, and the cadets have great difficulty keeping their balance. In fact, everyone sails back, except, to your surprise, Connie Springer, who is cheered on by the rest of his group. You pull your jacket tighter around you, hoping it would catch some of the spring wind, but you shiver anyway.

"Your jaw is tight," Levi's deep voice says beside you, and you turn your gaze to him in surprise. His grey eyes look down at you from above and you swallow hard. He's such a handsome man. His shoulders show well through his uniform and his shirt tightens a bit at his chest due to his muscles. His eyes sparkle slightly from the sun shining on his face. The wind has spread some hair on his forehead and your fingertips start to tickle. How you would like to brush them away. You clench your hands into fists to stop yourself.

"Didn't even realize it," you reply, turning your gaze back to Oluo and Arlert to stay calm. Your heart drums a little in your chest. Your comrade is trying his best to help him and give him instructions and assistance.

"To be honest, your whole body is tense". You feel Levi's calm gaze still resting on you and you put your head back and stare at the sky. A few clouds drift across the sky, white and fluffy.

"It's been a busy day, too." Your eyes shift back to him and you both look into each other's eyes. His grey eyes seem almost a bright silver. He studies you more closely and the corners of his mouth lift up ever so slightly. "Understandable, with this bunch of idiots." You roll your eyes and have to grin slightly before sighing again. It was admittedly leaching to complete the first training sessions with new cadets. They are all so full of anticipation before harsh reality catches up with them and about a third of all are sent back home - if they still have a home after Wall Maria was breached and Shiganshina District had to be left.

Of course, it was little different for you back then, but you performed solidly right from the start and made it to the top 3 of all graduates after hard training. That was also the reason why Levi included you in his squad.

Nonetheless, you just got annoyed and wanted a break from all the frustration and instruction you had to give. Being a teacher is not the reason you joined the Survey Corps.

Levi is just opening his mouth to say something when Petra's loud voice echoes across the square.

"Captain, I need your help." Over Levi's shoulder, you can see her, hands flailing in the air. Levi clicks his tongue and his expression changes, becomes slightly annoyed. You do the same. He leans over to you, his head right next to yours. His strong scent of black tea and citrus rises to your nose and your knees go weak. His hot breath hits the shell of your ear and goosebumps cover your body again. "I'll make you feel better later." Your heart starts beating faster and a deep blush settles over your cheeks. You hold your breath as he turns and walks with strong strides back to his spot by Petra, the Wings of Freedom emblazoned large on his back.

"Tch, I haven't seen a fucking weakling like that in a long time, Yaeger," you hear him shout further back. Again, a slight grin comes over you.

"Ma'am, can you help me with the straps?" calls Christa Renz over to you. She snaps you out of your thoughts and you come back to yourself. You expel your long-held breath and make your way over to her.

The rest of the training was like chewing gum compared to before. The remaining part of your group wasn't a total bust, but Levi's words left a sweet note and butterflies in your stomach. Your whole body tingled with joy and the scenarios in your head took their own course. Every now and then your gaze swung to Levi, even as you have pulled yourself together, but the temptation was far too great. And then when he caught your gaze, you could see the change in him even across the distance. At one point you even thought he winked at you, which was the most uncharacteristic thing ever for him, but just the pure thought that you were right made your knees weak again. For this reason, you were more concerned with your students, who were not very happy about it. You had the reputation of being almost as strict as Levi - but with less insults - and that although your size made you look more like a dwarf. At the end of the training, the Levi Squad then condemned the worst to clean up the mess. The sun was lower by now, it was late afternoon and the wind was blowing stronger. You walked together as a group back to the large building and followed the cadets to the mess hall.

As usual, you took your food first before the rest could strike, which you were more than happy about. At least on days when there was meat, it was always an advantage for everything and everyone to fill their plates before Sasha Blouse. Her love for food was immeasurable. After her, there wasn't that much left for others to lead and sharing was out of the question for her. You plod along behind Eld with your full plate and settle into the seat next to him and Oluo.

"What a day, huh guys?" groans Petra, sliding onto the bench across from you, followed by Gunther and then Levi, who grabs the seat across from yours.

You stare at the potatoes, meat and bread in front of you and start eating, almost burning yourself.

The others do the same, while Levi drinks his tea and lets his gaze roam the room to observe the other cadets.

"There, you say something. I wonder when it's going to be expedition time again. Time to kill some titans again, isn't it?" grins Oluo next to you, poking you in the side. You give him a dry look. "You mean so I can do all the work again and you can rest?" Oluo blushes slightly, whether from anger or shame, and slashes at the table with his knife in his right hand.

"I was here long before you even got around to it, kid".

"That makes your 39 kills all the sadder," you mock, and the others stifle their laughter.

Oluo contorts his face and is about to open his mouth when Eld slaps him on the back, "Oh Oluo, I can still remember when you wet yourself on your first expedition."

The blow startles Oluo slightly and he yelps in pain. He slaps his hand over his mouth and contorts his face. "I bit my tongue," he mumbles, which really makes the others laugh now. You, on the other hand, just roll your eyes again and are pleased inwardly.

No matter how much you get on each other's nerves sometimes, you are a family that always stands up for each other. Most of the happy moments you can still remember were spent with this group. Each had its strengths and weaknesses, which in turn compensated for another. Your gaze falls on each of them as they still laugh and Oluo still complains before you look at Levi.

Again, your breath catches slightly. His gaze pierces you and holds you spellbound. He looks at you as he slowly eats. A shiver runs down your spine again and you press your legs together. His gaze is intense and deep, going straight to your soul. His silver eyes are darker and possessive. No one at the table seems to notice what's happening, as Levi has always been good at hiding your personal moments. It's a mystery to you how he did it since you always felt caught and like your body didn't really belong to you. He was the one thing that always upset you and left you breathless. You smile slightly at him and his gaze darkens even more, making you swallow.

"Captain, how about a little break for us tonight? We could all sit down together for a bit and have a little drink," Petra catches your attention. She blushes slightly and you have to suppress the gagging. Never, never, would Levi ever feel anything for Petra. Everyone liked her, including him and yourself, of course, but not in that way. They were much too different for that and didn't have the same goals. But you had already noticed how Petra looked at Levi and blushed and bit her lip and stroked through her hair and smiled and laughed extra and positioned herself well and always stood next to him, sat down, tried to work with him, always addressed him directly, took him in protection. You were never jealous because Levi never gave you a reason to be, but Petra made it really hard for you sometimes. Especially since no one, except Hange, of course, knew about how things were between Levi and you.

"Oi, your hand," Gunther says, touching it. You recoil and realize how your hand hurts. You clutch your knife tightly, your knuckles white. Everyone is looking at you. You let go of it and it falls to the table before you mumble a quiet apology and continue eating. Speaking of which, you were bad at hiding your feelings for Levi. The others let go of you and turn their attention back to Petra and Levi.

"Tch, do what you want, I still have workto do". Petra looks slightly disappointed and starts eating again. The rest of the meal was quieter as everyone was busy filling their bellies. Eld and Gunther are the first to leave before Levi raises his voice. "Oi, Petra, take my dishes away as soon as you finished". The girl seems hopeful for a brief moment before Levi smashes her hopes. He looks at you and your almost empty plates. "... And the other one here too".

With these words he straightens up. You look up at him. "Would you help me just now?" His eyes show a sparkle again and your gaze falls on Petra and Oluo for a brief moment before you nod. With those words, he trots off. You quickly get up, say goodbye, and walk after him. Your path past the cadets is quiet and the murmuring around you also quiets, which always happened when Levi was around. No one would dare to accidentally say something that might upset him. Levi headed for the stone stairs in the hallway, down the long hallway to the door of his office. A few torches flicker on the wall, lighting your way, even with the sun still providing more than enough light from outside. All the while, you follow him quietly until he unlocks the door and both of you step inside.

You close the door behind you with a soft click and turn around. Levi is standing in front of you with his arms folded in front of his chest. He leans slightly against his desk and examines you from top to bottom. The evening sun shines through the window behind him and strong shadows stand out on his face. "How are you?" You bite your lower lip and swallow hard. "Pretty good, I guess," you say and avert your gaze, looking down at the ground. You continue to feel his gaze and you blush slightly. Your breathing gets a little heavier and you swallow again. The tension in this room is heavy and oppressive. The energy between you is crackling and the hairs on your arms are standing up. It is amazing how different Levi could behave. Toward everyone else on the planet, he was an ass, no question about it. But to you, he treated you like you were a flower that would wilt if he didn't take proper care of it. You bite your lower lip. Levi's footsteps come toward you until he's standing right in front of you and you can look at his shoes. He puts a finger under your chin and lifts your face. His eyes are impenetrable, and he can probably read you again like one of his books.

"You know better than to bite your lip," he whispers to you. He places his left hand against the door behind you and leans against you. His eyes pull you in before you close them and feel his lips on yours. In the background, you hear him turn the key in the lock, locking you in this room. His teeth graze over your bottom lip and he captures it, sucking on it before releasing it. "I'll do that for you, won't I?" A low moan escapes you and you open your eyes again. He was even closer to you, your noses almost grazing each other, and his hot breathing and warmth befuddle you.

"Remember what I promised you earlier?" You nod and lick your lips. His gaze immediately darts to that movement before he looks into your soul again. "Repeat it."

"You promised me that you would make me feel better".

A slight smile curls his lips and he takes your face in his right hand. You nestle into it and your heart flutters.

"So, do you still want this?" What a question, you think and nod slightly, kissing the inside palm of his hand and staring at him. Please make me feel good. Again, he has to smirk slightly and presses a feather-light kiss to your forehead before stepping away from you, taking his warmth with him. He steps back to his desk and resumes his previous posture there. His face and body tension are harder and his eyes seem much darker than before.

"Take off your clothes," comes his instruction. His voice is also low and hard. You look at him a little unsettled and surprised before you start undoing the buttons of your blouse. His gaze follows your movements and he tilts his head slightly. You kick your shoes aside. The removal of your pants in particular seems to fascinate him, and you swear you saw a sparkle in his eyes as your bra and panties follow the other garments as well. So, you stand in front of him, shivering slightly from the temperature difference, causing your nipples to poke hard at him and your skin to be covered in goosebumps again. He licks his lips and takes off his jacket, placing it on his desk behind him. He undoes the straps that wrap around his torso and sets them aside as well.

"Kneel down." You do as you were told and kneel on the cold wooden floor. This causes the cold to shoot more strongly through your body and you shake yourself slightly. Levi is still watching you and slowly lets his gaze roam over you. After your next blink, he rises and steps to the other side of his desk, which faces his window. He opens the first drawer on the left and pulls out something. After closing it, he comes back to your side and slowly steps towards you. You are a little surprised at what he just did since you can't see anything in his hands. He stops in front of you and looks down. You follow his hands, which reach for the buttons of his shirt, which he then slowly opens bit by bit. His gaze stares at you again, while he moves as if in slow motion. For you, it was all much too slow and with each button your heart beat a beat faster again. If it were up to you, you would have torn it from his body so that the buttons would fly across the room. But your hands remain still in your lap as you wait for each button. Finally arriving at the last one, he undoes it as well before slipping his shirt off his torso. His shoulders and arms work as he does so, and your knees soften. You love his body, he's a god. With all the years of training and fighting experience, it goes without saying that he is trained, but his cross and arms especially make your heart weak. You don't know what that is because of, but it's just a preference of yours on him. One of the many you have to mention about it. And you love every single scar from his skin you've run along them so many times with your lips and fingers. Slowly your temperature changes. Your body becomes warm and you notice how your center becomes moist. He reaches into his right pants pocket and pulls out a long piece of rope. Your breath catches and your eyes widen. Levi still just looks at you and plays with it a bit, tightens it and let’s go again. As he does, the muscles under his skin play again, looking indescribable with the setting sun in the background. Veins come out from under his skin and you pull your eyebrows together in frustration. He shines like a saint that you love to cling to so that he can keep all the evil in the world away from you.

"Hands behind your back." Immediately you do as he said and follow him as long as you can with your gaze as he walks around you and then kneels behind you. His fingers are warm as they graze your skin and he ties the rope around your wrists to join your two hands together. After he's done, he runs his hands up your arms, touching the haunches above your collarbones for seconds before pulling his hands away again.

"Close your eyes," he whispers in your right ear. The last thing you see before your eyes flutter shut are the last rays of the sun, which bathe the room in a deep orange-red. You feel something being placed over your eyes. Levi ties the piece of cloth to the back of your head and then rises. As soon as you realize he's done, your eyes open briefly, only to see deep black. Butterflies spread through your lower stomach and you press your lips together to stifle a moan. With excitement and anticipation, you feel more wetness between your legs and squirm slightly to create some pressure, but to no avail. Now without sight, you rely more on your ears and the sounds of the environment around you. Levi moves quietly around the room, you locate him at his desk and hear him light a match. The smell of smoke fills the room. When he seems to be finished, he moves back toward you. You hear the rattle of the buckles of his belts, which then fall to the floor with a sound. He loosens one strap after another until the sounds stop. You feel his presence in front of you and squeeze your legs together again. Fabric rustles before it's quiet again. Suddenly, a hand reaches into your hair and pulls your head almost painfully to the back of your neck. Air escapes your throat and you make a surprised sound.

"Open your mouth." Levi's voice seems even deeper than usual and hard, almost cold. You open it on command and stick out your tongue. You hear him smirk and feel one of his fingers, which slowly works its way to your throat. "I raised you so well," Levi murmurs, and you suck on his finger. Shortly after, two more join him. "I'm going to use you so well. You're going to do exactly what you were made to do: choke on my cock and milk it afterwards." A long moan escapes you and you suck on his fingers, your tongue playing with them before withdrawing them again. A feather-light touch brushes over your left nipple and you sigh. "I saw the look on your face earlier. How shamelessly you fantasize about such things while your cadets are in front of you and that idiot Oluo is standing next to you. How I would have loved to take his place". Your saliva causes your nipples to harden again as the cold air swirls around them. The hand in your hair loosens. Shortly after, you feel something warm and soft against your lips. Your mouth opens again and you groan. Levi's cock slides between your teeth into the roof of your mouth and he moans out too. "Fuck, finally." You feel the wetness between your legs run down your thigh before it drips onto the floor. Levi's hand finds its way into your hair again, and he pulls his hips back before they shoot forward again and his cock buries itself in your mouth once more. He holds this speed for some time. You get warmer and warmer, especially at the thought of you kneeling there right now in front of him and him using your mouth. "You're doing so good, slut," Levi murmurs from above, thrusting harder. The sound of your mouth smacking and his increasingly heavy breathing echoes through the room. You taste a few drops of his juice and your eyes roll back into your skull. Again, a long moan escapes you and the hand in your hair grips harder. Slight pain jolts through your scalp and goosebumps form on your skin again.

"Your mouth is so warm and wet. Just not as tight as your cunt, but I can change that". His cock finds its way deeper into your throat, almost hitting the back it before withdrawing completely. For a brief moment you feel his lips on yours, his tongue exploring the path his cock had paved earlier. He tastes himself on your lips and wants much more of it. The kiss is wild and he leaves you with throbbing, swollen lips. "Tongue out." Before you can take a breath, you're sticking it out at him again. He slaps his cock on it a few times before burying himself inside you again with one smooth thrust. His entire length fills your mouth, and you gag slightly as his tip sticks way too deep in your throat. Levi doesn't let up though, keeping you that way before resuming his previous speed and hardness. You squeeze your eyes shut, but tears escape your eyelids anyway. They wet the fabric on your eyes and find their way along under it, flowing down your cheeks and dripping on your legs. The more your throat hurts, the heavier Levi's breathing becomes. His balls hit your chin and his second hand finds its way into your hair as well, holding you in place.

"You feel so good," his deep, dry voice comes out. "...The way you sit here in front of me and suck me so good. Other men dream about it. Who would believe what a slut you are?" You moan and the vibration makes him wince and he claws into your scalp. As best you can, you slide your tongue around his shaft, grasping his tip, sucking on him while his hips keep thrusting. Your mouth and neck feel painful and your jaw hurts from the constant mouthing. As your tongue touches his balls, his hips twitch and he pulls back breathlessly. His cock pulls out of you again and you gasp for air. You cough heavily and saliva runs down the corners of your mouth.

Suddenly, Levi's hands push at your hips and pull you upward. Your legs are jello, which is why he catches your weight and supports you. The soles of your feet touch the ground for only a few moments before you feel his shoulder against your stomach and your face comes to rest on his back. The air is forced from your lungs and blood rushes to your head. He grips the rope at your wrists, thus holding you tight before he moves. “Levi, I want more”, you mumble and feel the juice running between your legs. He opens the door to his bedroom and carries you to his bed, where he lays you down somewhat roughly. The room smells like him. The bed linen is freshly washed, which is normal for him. The smell of tea is also heavy in the air, as well as its own note, which is that of Levi himself. “Tch, it's clear to me that you little bitch can't get enough. But do not worry, my big cock will fill you up in a minute.”

He turns you onto your stomach and pulls your butt up and towards him. You feel his warm breath at your center and your muscles tremble. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself for being so wet?" He blows against your wet lips and you squirm slightly under him. You feel his tongue licking once along your slit. You moan loudly as you finally get some touch before his hand hits your right ass cheek and you howl in pain. Without warning, his cock drills deep into your cunt and your moans mingle in the small space, echoing out to you. Immediately, Levi picks up the pace he had earlier while fucking your mouth. You jerk beneath him, moaning into the mattress beneath you, and your fingernails each dig into the wrist of the other arm. Again, Levi's hand closes around the rope and he pulls you up to him, grasping your throat with his other hand and biting your shoulder. You moan his name loudly and press against the warmth of his chest. He licks over the bite marks and fucks you harder. Your walls close tightly around his cock and he moans loudly next to your ear. "How tight can you get?" he murmurs, and his hand around your throat squeezes tighter. His fingers are right against your main arteries. Your air gets shorter, your pulse beats faster to push the blood into your head, but because of the pressure from his fingers it doesn't work. Light panic overcomes you and mixes with your lust. "Levi...I-I," you try to say before everything around you goes black. Your whole-body collapses and you can't finish your sentence. He immediately releases the pressure of his hand before you finally lose consciousness and the blood rushes back to your head. The difference in pressure makes you dizzy as you slowly regain consciousness. His thrusts don't stop, his endurance was immeasurable. He moans into your neck and your whole belly tingles with satisfaction. Your moans get louder again.

"Again?"

"Yes," you groan out. You hear him laugh softly before the pressure around your throat intensifies again and the scenario from just now repeats itself. The mixture of dizziness and pleasure is a deadly mix. Nothing feels better and you want more, more and more, but Levi knows exactly when to stop before he puts your little body through too much. As you come to yourself again, Levi loosens his hand around the rope and wraps his arm around your stomach. He presses you tighter against him, holding your weak body tight. "You're the biggest slut," he murmurs against your ear. The hand on your belly slowly strokes to your pelvic bones, slowly finding its way between your legs. He circles your clit with his middle finger, making you twitch and squirm against his chest as you praise his name. His lips settle on your neck, beginning to suck as his hand pushes deeper. He feels his own cock thrusting into you and adds his index and middle fingers, burying them in your creamy hole as well, which they grip tightly, and your moans grow louder again. No one must ever know what Levi does with you during all those hours in his bedroom. No one would probably believe it. How many marks he has left on your body, how many times he has cut off your air, how many times he has fucked you into unconsciousness, left your cunt sore. If Levi would be a religion, you would be its first martyr.

You lay your head in your neck and his hand around your throat rests on your forehead, pressing your head back. This makes it easier for him to get to your throat with his mouth. He licks away the sweat next to the mark before making more. "I'm so sick of no one knowing what I do to you," he hums against your neck. "I'm so fed up with the fact that some complete idiots actually still think they have a chance with you, can fuck you the way I'm doing right now". At these words he fucks you incessantly, his two fingers in addition inside you, which stretch you further and you are in heaven. Your delirium is near. He feels his way forward, curves his fingers, massages the inside of your walls. He just can't get to your g-spot due to the extra space his dick takes up and you will think you are going insane. "Even though yes I love how jealous you get of Petra. Tch, as if I would touch that filthy bitch." His thrusts get even harder and your whole-body tenses, groaning in pain. "No one can give me what you give me," he whispers. No one could give him the power he had over you. He could do whatever he wanted with you and you would get wet with lust and horniness. You were a dream come true, not just in that way. Levi loves you more than anything else in the world, even if he never says it, but deep inside you know it.

The thumb of his hand moves between your legs again to your clitoris and presses against it. A second, two seconds pass before you explode. Your vision goes white despite your blindfold, your body writhes, the muscles in your thighs twitch wildly, and you scream the room together. His name falls from your lips again as he fucks you through your orgasm. Each thrust brings sparks, his lips on your neck and his hands on and inside you. As your body slowly calms, he releases you, removes his hands, and pushes you back into the mattress. Your face shifts over the fabric before he has you back in the right position. His right leg settles next to your hip and you hear the bed creak beneath you. He continues to increase his speed, getting harder. His head settles into your neck and he moans loudly as he fucks you, finally meeting his end. Tears run down your cheeks as your body is drained, screaming at you to take a break. But the sensation between your legs pulls through your body again, making you moan once more. His hands dig painfully into your ass before Levi explodes inside you. His juice squirts into you and your name falls from his lips, giving you butterflies again. He thrusts with light strokes before gradually slowing down and dropping against your body.

He gives himself a brief moment before rising from you and untying your hands. without any remaining body tension, you fall onto the mattress beneath you and tear the blindfold from your head. The room is dark. The sun has set in time and your sense of time is confused. The light from the candle in the office brings a little light into the room, so that you can make out the outlines of the furniture.

"Better?" You hum to him and snuggle into the blanket beneath you. "Oi, I'll run us a bath, don't fall asleep." You grumble again and look after him as he leaves you alone and drained in the dark room.

[astridthevalkyrie]

summer rain: chapter 4

Your days in the Training Corp aren’t too out of the ordinary. You make friends, you train hard, and you eat dinner every day.

Oh, and you’re also hellbent on getting revenge against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

Chapter 3, Chapter 5

i have finally found the two perfect songs for this series and that’s everytime by chen & punch and talk love by k. will so go give those a listen because damn if it isn’t these two idiots.

anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Nothing is right anymore, and yet people are so quick to adapt to any sense of normalcy they can. It’s marveling to watch how, in two measly days, the refugees have quieted down and stopped fighting for food. Stopped fighting, period. Now they seek comfort in one another, a sense of camaraderie in knowing that they’ve all gone through the same thing. And holy hells are there a lot of them.

Because soon after Shiganshina was torn through because of the monster they were calling the Colossal Titan, Wall Maria itself fell. Ploughed straight through by something called the Armored Titan as though it was made of feathers. The refugees here are safe - for now - but there are countless of people who weren’t lucky enough to get behind Wall Rose, and they’re out there dying right about now. No one knows if Rose is going to hold either. No one knows anything. So with the kinsmanship comes a heavy pretense of safety, in which everyone ignores how scared they are in favor of counting themselves lucky that they get to live even a single day longer.

You’re doing what you can. Obeying orders without so much as a single complaint. Of course all rations are to be given to the refugees, so you’ve only had one eighth of a potato in the past twenty four hours, but it’s better than nothing. For once, you can’t find any fault with your situation, because no matter how terrible or hungry or scared you’re feeling, there is undoubtedly someone feeling worse.

Such as Ricky.

His mother and old sister managed to get to the boats. His father and younger sister weren’t so lucky.

The two of you had been stationed inside the base together, to watch and hand out resources to the refugees, but you’d immediately taken full responsibility and told Ricky to stay with his family. He’d pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and ran off, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Unfortunately, they’re pretty unpleasant.

Captain Erwin Smith is famed for bringing home soldiers who are still alive. That and Levi’s raw skill with his ODM gear makes you hopeful enough that he’s alive, so you try not to think of him. Frankly, it’s selfish to worry about a single person when there’s so many people at risk, so you bury the troublesome thoughts and focus on your job.

The Garrison has done a good enough job with the resources they have, but the Military Police’s presence is aggravating more than anything. They’re here to keep order, not to keep people safe, and everyone knows it. You wonder if your mother would prefer if you joined with these bastards instead of the choice you’ve made for yourself.

There you go again, being selfish. It’s always been about your life, and your absolute disdain for boredom. Out there, good people are laying down their lives. And you? You enlisted in the Training Corp as some form of self-fulfillment. It’s the first time you’re feeling this overwhelming guilt, as you realize just how ignorant your point of view is. You’ve never even so much as seen a titan, and yet you fancy yourself a soldier.

What a stupid girl you’ve been.

A tug on your uniform makes you snap out of your thoughts, and you look down to see a small girl with black hair wrapped in a scarf that’s too big on her. You blink, and try your best to smile reassuringly.

“Hey. You need something?”

The girl’s voice is quiet, soft, as though she’s trying her best not to be a bother. “They said you were giving out blankets here. May I have four of them, please?”

You nod, leaning down to check the crate by your feet. Unfortunately, you’d been swarmed by people asking for blankets just a few minutes earlier, and you’re just one short of how many the girl needs.

“I only have three left,” you begin apologetically, biting your lip, “but wait here, I’ll go check with someone else.” But you know that’ll be pointless, all the other stations have probably run out too, and if they haven’t, they’re saving for themselves. Calling them out won’t make them give it to you, that much is for sure.

Even the little girl seems to know that much. She shakes her head, taking the three blankets you offer her. “It’s alright. Three is enough. I’ll give them to the others.”

You frown. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter much. But you know that you would hardly be so selfless in the same situation. Hell, you would have wanted two blankets to yourself - these thin sheets are only going to do the bare minimum to keep people warm. The girl piques your curiosity.

“What’s your name?”

She hesitates for a second, then says, “Mikasa.”

You hum as though you’re thinking about it. “Pretty name. Who are the blankets for?”

She smiles faintly at the compliment. “My friends, Eren and Armin, and Armin’s grandpa.”

Not her parents. Your heart breaks for her. You’re not going to pry, the girl has probably seen enough, but you admire her maturity and willingness to spend the nights cold. It must take a lot to love some people so dearly that one would give up basic comfort. To risk getting sick, which, given the circumstances, may just be a death sentence. Yes, that kind of love is truly special, and you wonder if you’ll ever love someone that much.

You want to be a little selfless, too.

“Here.” You shrug off your uniform jacket, draping it over her shoulders. “I know it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.”

Mikasa’s eyes widen. “But don’t you need it, ma’am?”

“Eh. They can make me another one.” You shrug. “Besides, to tell you the truth, orange isn’t really my color.”

Her eyes shine tiredly at the unexpected kindness. “Thank you.”

You watch her run off, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. One person helped, out of thousands. It shouldn’t matter - you’re probably never going to see that girl again, you wouldn’t even know if the dumb uniform would do her any good. But there’s a part of you that can rest just a bit easier now, knowing that a child won’t be completely exposed to the harsh winter coming in. If the conditions of Wall Rose are anything to go by, you know that the refugees will be put to work in the fields very soon. It’s going to be a cold season indeed.

There’s been no time to process anything, which you’re almost grateful for. If you stop to think about the effect this is going to have on the fate of humankind, you might scream. There’s too much to think about, and there may be no time to think about it if things get even worse. For now, all you can do is try to help as many people as you can.

As Grumman always tries to drill into your head, it’s about dedicating your heart.

____________________

The new base and training areas are nice. That’s about all you can say for them. Losing the old one was akin to losing your home, and you know your comrades feel the same way, considering how awkward and depressing the shift has been. It feels stupid to start training again like the world hasn’t gone to shit, but you suppose it’s more necessary now than ever.

Everyone’s usual hijinks have stopped. Ophelia doesn’t cross her eyes and make faces whenever Grumman turns his back. Gunther’s habit of making finger guns every time he successfully slices a cardboard titan’s neck has ceased to exist. Even Traute, never one for jokes, seems even more morose and serious than usual. Everyone feels the loss keenly.

Ricky’s gone silent.

You don’t know how many people everyone has lost, and the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced is the relief that you haven’t lost anyone. It’s an ugly impulsive thought, but it trumps all the others in your head. Just overwhelming, horrible comfort.

It gets even worse when the Scouts return, almost three weeks later. There’s no cheers and hollers this time. Each and every single one of them is drenched in guilt and shame along with the blood coating their capes. Titan blood evaporates, you realize with a deep shudder.

The commander carries the same pain as the rest of them. Already, there’s been whispers of Commander Erwin, murmurs that Shadis is losing his touch and a younger, more clever man is needed. You don’t see how it matters who leads - titans are fucking titans, and they certainly don’t care. There’s no tactics that will make them stop being giant man-eating monsters.

You’ve been waiting for days to see Levi, but when you finally make him out, you quickly look away. The horrifying relief blooms in your chest again, and you curse and bless the circumstances that have brought you here. So he’s alive. So the constant anxiousness that has kept you up these last few nights is soothed. So what? Not everyone is as lucky as you. Things will never, ever go back to normal. You have no right to be happy about this.

When you glance at him again, you suck in a sharp breath when you see he’s gazing right back at you. There’s no brightness in his eyes, the rare spark that you’d seen in the moments the two of you shared is long gone. It seems like it was centuries ago. He’s seen too much. They all have.

There’s a question he seems to be asking you, but you have no idea what it is. You want to walk up to him, but a heavy force keeps your feet planted right where they are. All you can do is give him a confused expression, brows furrowed. It’s not like you’re telepathic. If he wants to ask you something, he’ll have to actually ask you.

But he doesn’t. He just looks away, seemingly conflicted, and continues to follow the others. When everything around him is hell, you wonder if you’re even important enough to be worth more than a couple of seconds of his attention. Thankfully, the thought isn’t painful like you imagined it might be. In fact, it’s a bit freeing to let go of this stupid, ridiculous, pointless plan. Your grudge against the lieutenant is about the least important thing in the world right now, so insignificant that you wonder how you ever thought it was worth your time in the first place. There’s no need to make yourself feel more like the foolish, self-centered bitch that you’re realizing you are.

The only problem that comes with letting go of this plan is that you’re letting go of Levi, and it’s a serious problem that the thought gives you such an aching pang in your chest.

____________________

Stephen is gently shaking you for a good ten seconds before you snap out of it, looking at him with a bewildered expression.

“Aren’t you going to go for your walk?”

You look around. Dinner is nearly over, and a few people have already filed out to go back to their dorms. You must’ve zoned out, like you have been ever since the Scouts came back earlier today. You’ve never been so unfocused in your life, simply because you didn’t like not knowing what was happening around you. This is so unlike you, but you’re not sure what to do to stop it. A dark cloud has settled over your shoulders, and you have absolutely no idea how to get rid of it.

“Yeah.” You sigh and stand up, squeezing his hand in thanks. “Ricky went to bed already?”

Stephen nods, with a concerned frown on his face. “I know you’re worried about him, (F/N). I am, too. A lot.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to have to worry about you too.”

You wince apologetically, running a hand through your hair. “Shit, I’m really sorry. Look, I’m fine, I am. I’m just...thinking a lot lately, that’s all.”

The last thing you want is to have your friends take time out of their day to schedule an intervention for you. You’re not the one who needs it. It’s as though everything just makes you feel worse and worse - it’s just that you feel fucking useless all the time, and now you’re an emotional burden to Stephen, who just has to be sweet to everyone.

“You don’t need to apologize,” he says kindly, “just take care of yourself, okay?

“Yeah. You too.” You squeeze his hand again and then head out, beginning your aimless walk around the grounds.

The moon is shining brightly, an unwanted beacon to the despair brewing inside you. Truthfully, you’re spiralling, and you haven’t spiralled in years, not since you decided to take control of your life. There’d been no trigger then, or maybe life itself had been the trigger, and you’d holed yourself up in your room as your head spun out of control. Cheesy questions like what am i doing here and what is my purpose and am i ever going to do anything meaningful rose to your mind then, and they do again now.

Back then, you’d decided that the answer simply lied outside of Stohess. You still believe that, to an extent. Going back isn’t going to solve anything, but...what did leaving accomplish? Your desires are fulfilled, but there’s no purpose to any of this. Not when people were and still are dying out there. Is the only way forward to dedicate yourself to the noble cause of saving humanity? There mustn't be a person alive who can give themselves that goal and actually hope to achieve it.

Well, except one.

This time, you’re the one who finds him.

He’s standing by his horse, stroking the fur gently. Somehow you’ve walked all the way to the stables without realizing. You take a step back, intending to walk away, but the selfish part of you that you’re starting to loathe doesn’t let you go any further than that. You’ve missed him, so much. You’ve missed his bad attitude, his amused smiles, his tantalizing gaze. You want it back, selfishness and selflessness all be damned. Now that he’s here in front of you, it’s too hard to resist.

“Lieutenant.”

Levi looks at you, and his shoulders droop as he stares wearily. He looks like he’s aged several years, and you consider that he probably doesn’t want to see you right now.

“Sorry to disturb you.” You take a deep breath, willing your hands to stay still by your sides and stop clenching. “Were you going for a ride?”

“Yeah.” He takes in the sight of you and then lets out the slightest of sighs. “Do you want to come?”

“What?”

Never in a million years did you expect him to offer going on a horse ride with you, and never in a billion years did you expect yourself to want to accept. You’re so taken aback that it doesn’t occur to you to note the little stool he’s using to hike himself up (as though he can’t pull himself on - it’s a formality more than anything). Levi’s looking at you, waiting for an answer, hand outstretched like he’s actually trying to live up to the fucking prince charming title you’ve given him.

“Okay,” you agree softly, not really knowing what the hell else you’re supposed to do.

You take his hand and he helps you on - really unnecessary, you can get on a horse by yourself - and you swallow when you realize he’s placed you in front. If he wants, he can observe your every reaction to him, and see...well, you don’t know what he’ll see or what you’ll do, but you know it’s not anything you’re willing to show him.

He gets on behind you, an arm snaking around your waist before he instructs you to hold onto the saddle tightly.

Neither of you speak. The horse trots peacefully, never going too fast. The poor thing’s probably done enough running to last it a lifetime. You caress the fur gently as you enter the forest, the moon now cloaked by the towering trees, stealing away your capacity for sight. It’s not something you inherently mind, honestly, it feels good to just close your eyes and relax.

But deep under the guilt and midlife crisis (probably more than midlife given the world you live in), you’re still you. And you get restless easily, not to mention you’ve been craving a conversation with Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and you don’t want to pass up the chance.

“How bad was it?”

Okay, maybe not the conversation started you should have chosen.

“Bad,” Levi answers without much hesitation, “really bad.” He releases a shaky breath and on impulse you place your hand over his, immediately feeling awkward right after. Do you grip his fingers? Pat him in a show of solidarity? You don’t know, so you don’t do anything, but you don’t remove your hand either.

After a beat, he says, “I was wrong.”

You wrack your brain about what he could be wrong about. Maybe about asking you to come with him just now. Your company hasn’t exactly been what you would call pleasant.

“About what, sir?”

When Levi responds, you feel his hot breath on your neck and you barely stop yourself from shuddering. He shouldn’t be in such close proximity to you. Doesn’t he know what he does to you when he gets this close?

“I said I wanted to see the day that smile got wiped off your face. Now that the day’s here, I wish I could take it back.”

You whip your head around, not even bothering to make sure you don’t accidentally hit him. Luckily you don’t, even though he’s not far from you at all, just a centimeter closer and the tip of your nose would touch his. In the dark, you can barely make him out, but the grey eyes that have fascinated you for so long are discernible even without any light. He’s watching you, so intently that your face burns up, and you pray to whoever’s up there that he can’t see you too well without the moonlight.

But can anyone blame you? Lieutenant Levi, the man who’d punished you for smiling, was now claiming that he missed the very smile that had made you the bane of his existence. You can’t chalk it up to his usual mood swings, because you know it’s not that. You know he’s trying to tell you something, and you’re so close to figuring it out.

You don’t even flinch when his finger curls under your chin and tilts it up just a bit so he can appreciate the view properly.

Even in the dark, you know his lips are just a mere inch away from yours. You wonder what he tastes like.

No.

You turn back around, heart pounding wildly in your chest. It’s wildly inappropriate to think about doing something like that. You can’t, not when he’s your trainer and lieutenant and humanity’s savior. Whatever this is, you have to reel it in control.

“I can’t,” you say, and then quickly clarify so he doesn’t get the wrong idea, “I can’t smile. Not when so much has happened. How can I smile when people...when they’re out there...when you and the rest of the soldiers have sacrificed everything and I’ve done nothing?”

It’s not as though you expect him to give you the most motivational speech in the world, but when he answers, “You’re going to sacrifice plenty in the future,” you feel overwhelmed with guilt, and you just want it to stop. He doesn’t know. Doesn’t know your plans, your motivations, or why you’re here at all. He thinks you’re someone that you’re really, truly not.

But you’re not brave enough to tell him any of that. So you opt for the other truth, the less relevant but equally as pressing one.

“I’m not strong enough.”

“No,” Levi murmurs in agreement, “but you’re going to be.” Both his arms are curled around you, and there’s something uplifting in his tone when he says, “4 AM tomorrow, understood?”

Just like that, your goal changes.

If the lieutenant thinks that you can actually be useful, then maybe...maybe you actually can. You’ve somehow gotten in the top ten without even meaning to, so it’s not too much of a stretch to think you could be really good if you actively tried. And he’s still willing to train you - even after all that’s happened, he doesn’t consider you an added bother to his already difficult life. And you plan to value that, now. You’re going to get better, stronger, faster. No more passivity. And maybe if you do this, you can ease the guilt brewing inside before you completely drown in it.

“Yes, sir.”

Determination has risen back inside you, but a ghost of a smile only reappears on your face when you hear him yawn, something you’re one hundred percent sure you’ve never seen nor heard before.

“Are you actually sleepy, Lieutenant?” you tease quietly, “it’s not even 11 PM yet.”

“You should be happy,” he mutters, “all your efforts trying to chase away my insomnia and it’s finally worked.”

If not for the trees providing you safety in the form of the absence of light, you wouldn’t be as bold to do what you do next. Closing your eyes, you lean back and hunch down, resting your cheek against his chest. He stiffens a little at the close contact, but doesn’t say anything or push you away. You won’t kiss him, but you can allow yourself this much, just to seek comfort in the safety he provides just by being there. He’s so, so warm.

The horse rides on, and Levi keeps his arms around you and on the reigns.

Truthfully, as you listen to his heartbeat, you don’t think you’ll ever know who comforts who most tonight.

____________________

The next morning, you’re there before he is, on your fourth lap by the time he walks up. If Levi’s surprised, he doesn’t show it. He only takes his new spot on the new grounds at this new base, and watches you from afar.

Naturally, he still barks at you that your stance is sloppy when you start doing your squats, asking you snidely how many times he’s told you that you need to squat down at a ninety degree angle and just what you did in your early mathematics classes if that’s what you think ninety degrees is. He still presses you into the ground with his foot when you attempt to do a push-up without going all the way down. And he absolutely still withholds your water privileges until you’re practically dizzy from your activities.

Except this time, you have no complaints. You do what you’re ordered.

And maybe stop to give him one or two pointed glares.

When he dismisses you, you find that you’ve still got a bit of energy left. You’re certainly not sleepy.

“Will you spar with me?”

Levi raises a brow, unimpressed. “So you can get your ass handed to you again?”

“I’ve improved!” you cry out indignantly.

“Oh yeah, you’ve made great strides.” He snorts, digging his heel into the ground and raising his fists. “Okay, (L/N), give me your best shot.”

With Lieutenant Levi, the thing that matters most is the element of surprise. Last time, you went for his legs, so he’ll see that coming. You quickly scan his stance - how is it that you two have spent so much time together and you still haven’t located a single weakness of his? Not that that’s what you’re doing anymore, but it would sure be helpful in a fight. Needless to say, you need to think fast.

So before either of you can move, you cry out in pain, clutching your side. “Shit! I - I think I pulled a muscle - ow, fuck -”

Levi’s beside you in an instant, hand reaching down to inspect your stomach. Damn, you’re a better actor than you give yourself credit for. As soon as he reaches out, you grab his bicep with both your hands, plant your feet, and yank up as hard as you can.

No, you probably can’t throw him over your shoulder. But you can at least try to whirl him around you and then tackle him while he tries to regain his balance.

Well, you could if Levi didn’t twist his arm out of your grasp within a single second and grab you in a chokehold.

“Playing dirty, are we?” he whispers in your ear, “naughty girl, I should keep you here an extra hour just for that.”

Gasping for breath, you pat his elbow repeatedly in defeat. Surrender, you surrender! After holding on to lord his victory over you just a little longer, he lets you go, and you suck air into your lungs desperately.

He doesn’t make you stay any longer, but nonetheless, you certainly lose your brawl. How disappointing.

“I’ll...get you...next time…”

Levi’s lips quirk into what can be taken for a smile. “No, you won’t.”

“Yes I will!”

____________________

You lose the next time.

____________________

And the next time.

____________________

And the next.

____________________

It’s a whole two months later when Ricky laughs again.

There’s nothing funny about the situation at all - everyone is freezing their ass off in the middle of nowhere and questioning just how surviving a snowy mountain is going to improve their combat skills. No one was brave enough to ask this question before, though, so now all they can do is deal with it. The problem is that your group is definitely lost.

“Well, this is great,” Gunther groans, sinking on his knees into the snow. You wonder how he can handle the cold biting past his clothes and into his skin.

Ophelia, who’s been pessimistic since the beginning, seems to take this as her permission to sling her bag off and completely give up. “We’re going to die up here.”

You huff. “We’re not going to die, but yeah, we’re gonna lose some merit. They’ll probably send a search party by morning.”

“T-tell us, (F/N),” Gunther says in that smarmy tone of his that makes you pity his parents, “how exactly are we going to make it till morning? You got a fur coat hiding away in those custom boots?”

Ophelia snorts and you narrow your eyes at him. “If I did, I wouldn’t share it. And they’re not custom, it’s actually a very popular brand item.”

“Well, mind trading with me? All I have are these ratty ones.”

“I do mind, actually.”

Ricky hasn’t said anything, only observed your interactions with a blank expression. You let out a pained breath, filled with disdain at seeing your precious oxygen visibly. Yeah, you’ve decided you’re not a fan of the cold, not one bit. You’re already one of those people who is cold all the time, and this isn’t really helping. Apparently no one has any idea, and although Gunther was assigned team leader, you decide to step in.

“We have two options.” You hug yourself, rubbing your arms in an unsuccessful attempt to warm up. “We could try to find some shelter and stay alive till morning, or…” You sigh, not really a fan of all the work that goes into option two, but it’s still the one you’re leaning towards. “Or we get our shit together and find out how to get back to the cabin tonight.”

You’ve got something to prove, after all.

Ophelia’s teeth are chattering as she says, “W-where the h-hell will we find shelter out here?”

“Nowhere. That’s why we’re gonna go with the other idea.”

“Someone’s eager to hold onto her position,” Gunther accuses, “even if it means sacrificing her team!”

“Oh my God, who am I sacrificing? Who have I sacrificed so far? No one!”

“Yet!”

You make a rude gesture and stalk off on your own. The others call after you, but only Ricky follows, grabbing your shoulder before you misstep and tumble into the icy ground. You groan loudly, this is so not how the night was supposed to go. You have to make it back.

“You’ve changed,” Ricky says all of a sudden. “I’ve known that for a while, and I know that we all have, but you’ve done a complete turnaround. I mean…” He hesitates, considering his words carefully. You wonder if he knows that just by doing that, he’s showing that he’s changed quite a bit too. “You would have decided to give up on this by now. So what’s the deal?”

Honestly, it’s surprising that it’s taken him this long to ask. Nonetheless, these days you’re glad to hear Ricky speak at all, so anything he says is welcome. That doesn’t mean you know how to answer his question, though.

“Like you said, we’ve all changed. I just decided to…” You trail off and shiver, rubbing your hands together.

“Give a shit?”

You give him a weak smile. “Yeah.”

Ricky nods, looking satisfied enough with the answer. There’s a slight shift in his expression as he peers at you. “It’s not out of pity, right?” When you look confused, he clarifies. “Not out of pity for me. I know I don’t matter that much to you - I just mean, if you feel bad for everything that’s happened, to everyone, you shouldn’t.”

Scoffing, you glare at him, with crossed arms. “Who said you don’t matter to me?”

“Do I?” He grins, looking genuinely surprised. “Me, the outer city peasant?”

This time you allow yourself to speak without thinking. Sometimes, the moment just calls for it. “Yeah, well, we rich folk have to do some charity work sometimes.”

That’s when Ricky laughs, and oh, how you’ve missed the sound. He throws his head back, looking up to the sky like he’s praying. Snowflakes coat his cheeks, and when he looks back at you, his eyes are bright, and he’s gazing at you in the same way you’re sure he once gazed at his poor, lovely little sister who couldn’t make it long enough to see her brother step up and become a hero of humanity.

Then he grabs your arm, yanking you forward.

“Come on, twerp.” He ignores your protests that his hand is freezing. “Let’s get you off this mountain.”

____________________

Okay, Petra definitely knows that you’re trying to compete with her for the number one position. She’s just too nice to say anything, so the two of you just silently try to outdo each other in every which way. Teacher asks a question in class? Either your hand or her’s will fly up right away. Grumman walks by? Well, the two of you are saluting faster than anyone else can even ball their fist. There’s an advanced exercise at 2 PM? You both finished your exercises early and are there at 1:30.

You’re not even sure when you started competing with her, but here you are.

And to be fair, you’re neck and neck with the star student. In classes, you’re basically equal, her because she works hard and studies and you because you retain information well and can play suck up rather well. As for hand to hand combat, you pretty much top your entire Cadet Corp except maybe Traute. When people are paired up to train to steal the knife from each other, no one ever wants to partner up with you (which both hurts and is rather flattering). Yeah, in a fight, you’re pretty much secure. It’s the 3D maneuvering where Petra has you beat.

Now, you’re not bad at using your ODM gear, not by any means. She’s just a damn natural. Any maneuver that takes you five days to pull off is one she can manage in three. A part of you wishes that she actually was a horrible person - then you could at least use your dislike of her as a motivator to beat her. Alas, you’re quite fond of the other girl.

These complaints are what you find yourself telling Levi one morning, after requesting that he watch you fly through the forest. Nowadays it wasn’t entirely unusual for you to stay past 6 AM, either doing extra training or just talking to him. He’d complied, and you’d gotten gear for the both of you to use in the forest.

Seeing him in action only serves to make you even more grouchy about your own skills. Levi’s already fast enough on his feet; with the ODM gear he seems nearly invincible and you have an inkling he’s not performing to the best of his abilities just to monitor you. When you finally tire yourself out, you grumpily toss the gear off, head out into the grass, check for bugs and flop down onto your back once you’re sure it’s safe. “I don’t get it,” you moan unhappily, “why can’t I do it as well as you can?”

Levi steps in front of you, his head blocking out the rising sun. Ah, perfect. “It’s because you enjoy it too much.”

“Oh, is that your professional diagnosis?”

He sucks in a long breath, which you know translates to you’re so fucking difficult, damn shitty brat. “My professional diagnosis is that you’re a dumbass.”

“Aww, thanks, sir! But I only take medical advice from licensed professionals.”

Levi notes your position and moves out of the way to allow the sun to blind you. You wince, squinting in the sunlight, and your hand comes up to shield your poor eyes. Averting your gaze, you peer straight up. In the middle of spring, from the open grounds down below, the clouds have never looked more beautiful.

“Wanna lay down with me? It’s therapeutic. The grass feels great.” You beckon him down next to you, but he shakes his head, instead choosing to deliver a small kick to your side. You hiss - someone seriously needs to do something about the lieutenant’s violent tendencies.

“Do you think I’m doing this so you can look at the pretty sky?”

Tossing your arm over your eyes, you say, “No, you’re doing this because you’re interested in me.”

The sound that Levi lets out is so strangled that you immediately look at him, concerned. He turns away from you for a second, scoffing with his cheeks tinted slightly red, and that’s when you realize he took your statement in an entirely wrong way. You’re a bit offended nonetheless, he doesn’t have to act like it’s disgusting to even think about you in that way. People have been interested in you! It’s happened, you’re a delight! He’s just blind, that’s all.

“I meant interested in me as a subordinate.” You sit up, knees hunched to your chest. “Now that Commander Erwin is in charge, everyone knows you’re going to get promoted soon too. Get a whole squad all to yourself.” Grinning at him, you let your palms rest on the blades of grass beneath you. “Hunting for your own lieutenant, Captain Levi?”

Huh. The title rolls right off the tongue. It suits him pretty well.

He looks at you strangely for a second, before holding his hand out. As you tug yourself up, he mutters, “Please, if I was going to have a lieutenant, I’d need someone competent.”

“Well,” you drawl, not bothered, “I’m not interested anyways.” At least there, you’re being truthful. Even if the thought makes you feel ashamed.

You and him continue to bicker as you walk across the grounds to put the gear back in the shed. While you don’t exactly walk slowly, you don’t go at your fastest pace either, itching to prolong the time that the two of you share. A stark contrast to the first few weeks you trained with him, when all you could think about was going back to bed. Now, nearly a year and a half later, you’re not sleepy, you’re not angry, and you don’t hate him.

When it’s time to part ways, you pretend as though you’re studying him carefully.

“What?” Levi snaps, but there’s no bite to his bark.

“I stand by what I said earlier, about you wanting a lieutenant.” A small smirk spreads on your lips. “But I also think you just have a crush on me.”

He stares at you. A second passes. Two seconds.

Three seconds.

You burst out laughing, hitting his shoulder. “You should see your face! Did you think I was serious?”

He looks at you with his eyes narrowed crossly, only serving to make you laugh louder.

“Minx,” he finally says, shaking his head, “a fucking minx is what you are, (L/N).”

____________________

“It’s raining!”

The excitement with which you squeal those words has nearly everyone rolling their eyes, but they follow you out anyways. It’s nice of them to abandon their lunch for this momentous occasion, rain during the summertime. You feel a rush of love for your fellow cadets, specifically for the three people who are right besides you. Of course you’ve always considered Millie your best friend, but Ricky and Stephen had filled a piece of your soul that you didn’t know was empty. This is your family, and you love them.

“Stephen!” Millie’s voice comes, scolding next to you. “Are you serious?”

“What?”

“He still doesn’t know what regiment he wants to join.”

“Leave him alone,” Ricky asserts, taking a swipe at her that she ducks.

“I know what I want to join,” Stephen mumbles, “I’m just not sure…”

Somehow, you know exactly what he’s considering. The rain gives you courage.

“The Scouts are wonderful.” Stephen turns to you, surprised, and you let out a giddy laugh. “They’re amazing. Brave, and heroic, and they kick ass. You’d do really well there, Stephen.”

You’re rambling, but by some miracle, Stephen takes your words to heart and makes his decision.

“Okay,” he says, with a wide smile on his face. “I’ll join the Scouts.”

Ricky coughs into his fist, something that sounds suspiciously like kiss ass. You’re too enthralled by your current environment to notice that, or Millie’s disapproving glare.

Bathing in the rain, you spin around until you’re dizzy. Droplets pour down your face, soaking your hair, your uniform, and you couldn’t be more thrilled. This, really, is what happiness is. The chance to fool around in the rainfall, to throw your hands up and feel precisely just how little of a speck you are in the vast, wide world. Slipping a hand into your bun, you let your hair down, closing your eyes as you soak up the thrill.

Everyone is chattering in groups around you. No one is mourning the lunch that has been long forgotten in the mess hall.

There’s grey eyes watching you when you open yours, a fond smile that you think he probably let slip past the tough exterior on his face. No one can resist this weather.

Maybe third time’s the charm. Even if it’s not, it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

You raise your hand and wave at him.

From the distance, still watching you closely, Levi sighs softly and then waves back.

Something you’ve never felt before bubbles up in your chest. It threatens to consume you as the others become a blur in the precipitation around you. You feel light on your feet, almost as though you’re not even touching the ground anymore. Affection? Adoration? For him?

Maybe it’s because of the stupid way he holds his teacup. Or maybe it’s the way he looks at you like you’re the funniest, most ridiculous person he’s ever met. It might be how his touch always lingers, how he’s always warm, and how he never fails to catch you when you stumble. How about that dumb cravat, why is he always wearing that?

His sarcastic quips, always ready to fire back at you. The way he brushed your tears away that time he’d found you crying. How he never pushes you to open up more than you want to, and how truthful he is. The feeling you get when he smiles or laughs at you, knowing it’s a rarity for him. His eyes, a blend of silver and charcoal that you could stare into for hours and still never get tired of.

It’s here, dancing in the summer rain, that you realize something that really should have been painfully obvious. There’s a reason you notice all these things. There’s a reason your heart is fluttering right now. There’s a reason that time has frozen, and there’s a reason you feel like you’re floating a thousand miles up in the air.

It’s because you like him. You really, really like him.

Oh, shit.

reader on her first day: wow levi’s eyes are beautiful

reader whenever levi is in front of her: damn he is so alluring

reader every time levi so much as glances at her: does he like me?

reader for two years: if levi asked me to have sex with him i would

also reader: omg i have a crush on him??? how is that possible?????

falling for a guy just because he finally waved back at you after like sixteen months is kinda weird but you do you girl.

one chapter left! :O

[greenbriar-j]

5 times the prince crashed the bookstore

and the 1 time the owner(’s grandson) broke into the palace

-

One.

             The first time was an accident. Sort of. Not really.

             Prince Gabriel did need to buy new ink and maybe a new journal to replace the one Gunther accidentally threw into the fountain the last time Gabe escaped the palace. If he was so pressed, though, he could’ve asked one of his attendants to buy it for him.

             So, yeah, it was kind of an accident. Gabriel donned his “commoner” attire, hiding his immediately recognizable curls under a cap. The clothes he wore were bland, but he had the kind of figure that made every outfit stand out. He snuck out through the window, running to the bookstore to get as much time away from his princely duties as possible.

             It was so boring, all of it. The paperwork, the meetings, the girls.

             Full confession: Prince Gabriel loved girls. Adored them. Thought they were the neatest thing to be placed on the planet. He loved the neighboring princesses, their mother queens, the female attendants – he loved women. He could not for a second imagine kissing any of them.

             Kissing Gunther? That, he’d imagined several times before the guard had caught on and assigned him even more paperwork. Fucking Gunther.

             Not, Gabe grimaced, pushing open the door to the bookstore, fucking Gunther. Stop thinking about fucking Gunther. About fucking. In general. … You’re a disgrace of a prince. At least you’re not responsible for producing an heir.

             Because he was the second prince. Because he was responsible for many things, actually, while also not being responsible for a thing at all.

             “Welcome to Vanilla Pages, how can I help you today?”

             The prince’s head whipped to the sound of the voice. It was not the voice he expected to hear, the almost frail, ever-loving voice of the old Asian lady who’d always been here the last few times he came. This voice was rich, masculine, deep – and, oh, the prince was very, very gay for it.

             “Uh,” he said intelligently. “You’re new.”

             The man smiled at him. “I’m not. I’ve worked here every summer since I was ten. Granny gets a little faint in the summer. The heat and all.” A beautiful hand waved in a beautiful, dismissive gesture.

             Gabe had one thought, and it was this: He himself was feeling a little faint this summer. Somehow, behind the broad shoulders filling out the loose shirt, the scruffy ponytail, the calm yet twinkling eyes, the man was undoubtedly a big teddy bear. “Ah,” he said, again the pinnacle of intelligence towering over his whole kingdom. “What’s your name?”

             “It’s impolite to ask for someone’s name without giving yours first,” the man prompts. “Your Highness.”

             Your-? “The disguise is that bad?”

             “If I say so, will it end in a death sentence?”

             Fuck, fuck, fuck. That smile is unfair. What the fuck. “I’ll make sure it doesn’t.”

             “Then yes, it sucks. The name’s Phuong.”

             “Oh, word? Good name.” I did not just say that. Who responds to introductions with oh, word?

             Gabe could not stand to make any more of a scene. This was fun. It was also very embarrassing. He grabbed a journal without really examining it, checking out and running across the street to the bakery.

             Gunther picked him up there after his own round of flirting with the baker’s daughter. There would probably be a wedding soon. Depending. The guard seemed surprised that the prince turned up on his own, but the prince thought nothing of it. He thought nothing at all.

             Not about the name Phuong.

             Not about those broad shoulders and muscular arms left on full display. The wide, toothy grin.

             Not anything at all.

 Two.

             The second time was a detour.

             “Gabe, I mean this in the most respectful way, but if you do not finish writing a birthday card to the prince of [other kingdom, idk], we will be having a war council within the month.”

             “Gunther, he can’t even read. Why does it matter?” Tossing his head back and stretching his legs out, he acted like the brat he only was for Gunther.

             The guard delivered a withering glare without adjusting his rigid stance. Even the prince has to admit that Gunther seemed to be experiencing physical repercussions for his job. In just a month, the prince had aged his friend by a year, or so it seemed.

             Reluctantly, Gabe held in every protest dangling on the edge of his tongue and penned a birthday note to the two year old prince. “We have to deliver this in person?”

             “Yes.”

             Gabe groaned. He could not think of a prospect he hated more. In a month, he had not managed to gather enough poise to revisit his beloved Phuong at the bookstore. He merely whimpered the name in his sleep, according to an unusually smug Gunter. And now, to be separated by this meaningless trek?

             “To the post, Gabe. Not to [neighboring kingdom].”

             Ever the model prince, Gabriel drew himself upright immediately. “The post, you say,” he repeated regally. “The one three streets away from the bookstore.”

             “That’s the one.” His guard, his best friend, smiled tightly. “I intend to propose along the way, and your stringing this out is not helping my nerves.”

             His royal eyes wider than saucers, Gabe ruffled all of his curls in distress and excitement. “Propose! Why didn’t you say so, you big baboon?”

             “You were sulking, Highness.” Gunther’s smile is wry, only a little amused.

             “I most certainly was not. Agh, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.”

             In his rush, he sustained more injury to his hands that day than he had in the past year.

 -

             “So…” Phuong glanced at Gabe’s hands, a quick flicker of dark brown eyes. “What happened to your hands?”

             Prince Gabriel hid the offending bandaged digits behind his back. “A mishap while writing the world’s most useless letter.”

             “Oh?”

             “Its recipient can’t even read. OH!” Without thinking, Gabe grabbed at Phuong’s shirt, tugging in his hasty excitement. “He’s doing it, he’s-!”

             He turned, only to find his face alarmingly close to Phuong’s. Why was the other man looking at him anyway? Did it matter?

             The moment was broken too soon by a holler across the street. “GABE! SHE SAID YES!”

             “OF COURSE SHE DID, YOU BABOON!” He fired back, pretending not to feel the heat rising inside him from the sudden close proximity. “He’s going to look so hot at his wedding,” Gabe muttered dreamily, still clinging with bandaged fingertips to Phuong’s shirt.

             “I have something for you,” Phuong said suddenly. “I wasn’t sure when you would come back, but I have something.”

             It was the best news the prince had heard all day. Seeing Phuong while getting his work done and receiving a gift? Only the gods could provide such a setup.

             He was right, for once, that it was too good to be true. Phuong deposited a box of fanmail in the prince’s arms and turned away without a word.

 Three.

             The third time was a disaster.

             “Did you read them?” Phuong asked after the initial pleasantries had been exchanged.

             “The letters?” Gabe leaned on the counter. “Burned them.” He grinned, but back-pedaled when the joke falls flat.

             Phuong swallowed, then busied himself wiping down the counter. “You burned them?”

             “If I read every piece of fanmail I ever got, I wouldn’t survive, Phuong.”

             “I see. I suppose- No, never mind.”

             While he hadn’t burned them, Gabe hadn’t read them either. He had no reason to read confessions of love from women who didn’t stand a chance with him because 1) he didn’t like women like that and 2) he only had a certain pool of suitors to choose from. This thing he was perpetuating with Phuong… It would burn him eventually. But Phuong was still very, very hot, and Gabe was still very, very gay.

             There was no promise of reciprocated anything from the clerk. He was simply doing his job, and Gabe was just a guy that came in a little too often for a little too long. That was all.

             “What’s this about, then? Was there one I should have read? Is it from your sister?”

             “I don’t have a sister.”

             “Your cousin?”

             “Your Highness,” Phuong looks at him, finally. Gabe doesn’t enjoy it, though. Not the way the address comes out so clinical, so distant. “All the letters had the same handwriting. My handwriting.”

             The prince’s throat goes dry. “What?” He whispers.

             “I’m closing the shop early today,” the other man responds in that same distant voice. “You’ll need to leave, Your Highness.”

             Stunned, Gabe returns to the palace.

 -

             Each of the letters is one sentence long.

I hope this finds you well, Your Highness.

 The stars in your eyes shine brighter than mine, yet belong to the same single sky.

You’re a brat.

Gunther came to the bakery today; I’m strangely disappointed by your absence.

A heartless one, you turned out to be.

The stars in your eyes shine on different continents than mine, it seems.

 Foolish of me to write letters to someone I’ve only met once.

Why do I think of you so often, my most hated daydream?

              There’s one for every day of the month Gabe avoided Vanilla Pages.

             “Gunther?” He calls into the air. A maid scurries in instead, apologizing for the absence of his guard, a different guard trailing in behind her. “It’s fine. Will you bring me some alcohol?”

 Four.

             The fourth time was a mistake.

             The very same night, a very drunk Gabe stumbled through the streets. It would be a prime night for assassination, if anyone wanted to put him out of his misery. A shame that no one did.

             Mindless feet guided him back to the bookstore. Fruitlessly, he banged on the shut and bolted door.  

             An angry Gunther dragged him home, and Phuong was never the wiser.

 Five.

             The fifth time was purposeful.

            “Your engagement was decided today.”

             Hollow-eyed, Prince Gabriel blinked at the captain of his guard – a married man now. The wedding had been beautiful. As expected. “My what?”

             “Your engagement, Highness. She’s a very pretty woman, if it’s any consolation.”

             “It’s not.”

             “Phuong is also in very bad shape, if it’s any consolation. Rea said so.”

             “It’s not.” The words came muffled by the pair of hands covering the prince’s face. It was enough that he felt bad about everything. There was really no reason both of them should feel awful. “Gunther, clear my schedule for the next hour. I’m going to the bookstore.”

             “You’re engaged now.”

             “I’m aware. Betrothed men ought to tell other suitors when they’re off the market.”

             The intention is clear, and Gunther seems upset. Unreasonably so. “Your Highness-”

             “I have to, Gunther. I’m going to make him hate me so he can move on faster.”

             “But you-”

             “I always knew how this would end. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

             He was anything but okay. He was gay and in love and engaged to a beautiful woman who deserved the kind of love he could never give her because he was gay and desperately in love with someone else.

             Each solemn step of the way, he bid farewell to each part of the man he had inexplicably grown to love. Goodbye, beautiful hair. Goodbye, kind heart. Goodbye, brown eyes. Goodbye, biceps; goodbye, thighs. Goodbye, hands. Goodbye, stupid love letters.

             He walked in, announced his engagement to the ground, and fled before he could see the other man’s reaction.

 One.

             Phuong considered his life in chapters.

             They were typically large, vague categories of his life that were boring and tedious to live through. Childhood. Teenage years. Adulthood. Gabe. It was only this latest chapter that made any difference in anything he thought.

             Before Gabe, life was dull. Every day, the same. After him, every day was painful – but the good kind of painful that perhaps would lead to something. The second prince bore the name of the messenger of the lord, and that had to count for something, didn’t it?

             Apparently not. For Gabe to cut him off so quickly… If he had hoped to give Phuong any kind of conclusion about what they were and what they meant to each other, he failed spectacularly.

             After milling around Rea’s bakery for half the day, he finally called in his favor. “Rea, can I… Uhm…”

             “If you wait until sundown, Gunther will come home for dinner, and he can take you straight to the brat himself,” she replied before he finished the thought. “Just tell him how you feel, and if it goes bad, you can have free cakes for a week.”

             “I’ll get fat and unattractive.”

             “Honey,” she said in that pitying tone he’d so hoped to avoid.

             “Can I… Have a free cake now?”

 -

             Prince Gabriel and Gabe were very different people, and while Phuong had known this, it didn’t really dawn on him until he saw it with his own two eyes.

             Gabe – his Gabe – smiled and laughed at everything, had horrible posture because he was always trying to get that tiny bit closer to Phuong, and dressed horribly because he thought it’d work as a disguise.

             Prince Gabriel wore tailored clothes that made Phuong a little dizzy because of how they accentuated a man who didn’t need accentuating at all. Prince Gabriel spoke with authority and walked with it, too. He oozed it.

             Phuong didn’t know if this made his job any easier.

             The moment the door shut behind him, the prince groaned and stretched and stripped off his clothes from the day. He flopped face-first on the bed like a child and immediately called for the captain of his guard.

             “Is it okay that I’m here instead?” Phuong said softly.

             Unexpectedly, the prince jumped ten feet in the air. “Phuong?”

             A complicated series of expressions crossed the prince’s face. He looked like he wanted to be upset, but couldn’t, and in the end, he started to cry, reaching for Phuong with grabby hands and a bleeding heart. What a foolish prince, to wound himself like this, when he really didn’t need to be wounded at all.

             “Your eyes shine with stars that are different from mine, but they share the same sky,” Phuong murmured, climbing into the prince’s bed and pulling him into a clumsy embrace. “If you had read that, I thought you’d have understood.”

             “It’s not the same as telling me upfront. I can’t bank my decisions on I think.”

             “I know.”

             And the prince only cried more. This was all his heart had ever wanted, but it still didn’t tell his mind what to do. Could he afford to forfeit his engagement? Would he have to forfeit Phuong again, knowing what he knew now?

             He didn’t know. He didn’t care yet. It was hard to care with Phuong’s finger sliding through his curls, with feathery touches of lips to his forehead.

             “Gabe.”

             “Hm?”

             “I really, really like you. But I get it if you still have to let me go.”

             Gabe tightened his arms around Phuong. “I won’t. I don’t want to.”

             “Okay.”

Spoiler alert: I have no idea how to actually end this but I believe they figure out their way to get together and live happily ever after bc that was the whole point of this but I really can’t be bothered to write it out whoops

[nnightskiess]

santana lopez imagine

i kinda combined two requests together bc i thought they’d fit well!

a/n: this is for u elena. sorry you had to wait so long♡ 

also, i wanted to try and show that soft and nervous side of santana that came out at the beginning with dani, so i’m sorry if it feels out of character sometimes. (i did my best lol)

“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.” 

Y/N was having lunch with her friends from back home. It had been hard to keep in touch with them now that she had been living in New York for over a year. Not that she’d complain, since she gained multiple new friends and... well, a relationship. And not with just anyone— with Santana Lopez, whose singing career skyrocketed after a duet on Mercedes Jones’ album. She got a record deal a month after and her first EP was a hit. She went on tour with her first album but had vanished off the face of the earth after her very public breakup with her high school girlfriend and her backup dancer, Brittany S. Pierce. She stopped posting on social media, she wasn’t spotted by paparazzi anymore and her plans for a second album were now off the table. It was clear to everyone that the breakup had broken the girl. That was until she walked into the diner she used to work at and locked eyes with Y/N. Santana didn’t want to fall in love with anyone else and wasn’t completely over Brittany, so it wasn’t love at first sight. 

But the moment Y/N stole the show while taking the lead singing Shout by The Trammps, she knew there was something special about the girl. Was it her voice that Santana’s mind went to when she lied in bed that night? Or the twinkle in her eyes when she sang? Or perhaps the way her smile widened a tad bit more when she looked at Santana?  

Santana found herself go back to the diner on days where she’d rather sit in bed and cry. She’d forget her sorrow in moments they locked eyes but could cry again when Y/N wasn’t working that day. 

Santana had taken her notebook with her, the one she would never let anyone read— well, except for Brittany. It’s where most of her songs were born and where her most delicate and vulnerable thoughts were being kept. She’d never been too keen on sharing emotions with everyone, so writing them down was a great alternative. 

“I normally wouldn’t ask, but I’ve seen you here with that notebook now at least a couple of times... Are you writing a book?”

Santana’s head shot up. Y/N was standing next to her table, wiping her hands onto her apron.

Santana cracked a soft smile, “No—actually, I’m writing songs... a song... well, trying to, at least. My label wants-” She swallowed her sentence, she didn’t want this girl to know about any of that drama. 

Y/N seemed to ignore it.

“You sing?”

Santana nodded but furrowed her eyebrows when Y/N sat down in front of her. “Go on, then. Let me hear what you’ve got so far.”

“Oh, no no no-”

Y/N pursed her lips, “Did it happen not too long ago?” she asked after a couple of seconds of Santana trying to get out of this situation. 

She rose her eyebrows, unsure of how Y/N read the situation so well, 

“It’s actually been a while but it still hurts.” She caught herself confessing.

“Then I won’t pry. I’ll leave you to it.” Y/N slid out of the booth, “Oh, and— I happen to know that our strawberry milkshake is the best medicine to heartbreak. It’s on me.”

“Thanks...” Santana watched her leave into the kitchen and immediately rubbed her temples when the girl left her sight. No, no, no, no. Not again. But wasn’t this exactly the reason she had started visiting the diner more and more? To spike up a conversation with the girl? She cursed at herself, stood up, grabbed her stuff and left the diner. She wasn’t ready yet. She could take the short glances and attention, but that was the line. The only woman she had truly trusted was no longer with her, she couldn’t open up to anyone again. 

Through the window of the diner she could see the girl with a disappointed expression on her face the moment she realised Santana had left. But Santana didn’t turn around and kept walking. 

✫彡

“Okay, stop crushing my spirit. I wanted a nice dinner with you.”

“Then you should’ve just asked Berry over for dinner. I’m sure she’d tell you all about her awfully cheerful day.”

Kurt put his hand on Santana’s so that she would stop playing with her food. She glared at him. 

“You can glare at me all you want, but we’re not going to brush things under the carpet. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Santana dropped her cutlery and sat back, crossing her arms. “We’re not talking about Britt again. You want to help me move on? Then fucking stop bringing it up.”

“No, not that. There’s something else. I can sense it.”

“Since when do you have a Mexican third eye as well?”

“Off topic.” Kurt waved her off. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

Santana lowered her head and slightly looked up at him, trying to decide wether to share or not. 

“Is the label pressuring you?” He tried.

Santana sighed, “Well, yes, that too.”

Kurt waited patiently for Santana to feel comfortable enough to share the rest.

“They were okay with delaying the start of my second album but now they’re starting to breathe down my neck. They say it’s been long enough and that i’m just deadweight they have to pay but get nothing in return for, which is fair— but still. I’m only human, I’m not some super song-writing machine like Mercedes.”

“I thought you loved writing songs?”

“Yeah... when I had Brittany.” Santana looked at her lap and started playing with her hands. “Now that I don’t have her... I can’t seem to even write one sentence... and when I do, they’re all just too gloomy or depressing.”

Kurt nodded in understanding. “Well, Adele wrote one whole album about her breakup which sold like Wonka bars. Who says you can’t?”

Santana shook her head, “You don’t get it. I don’t want to sing about her anymore, even though it might help me move on. But the thing is...” she bit her lip, “I can’t. I don’t want to.”

“Then write about how you can’t write. Write about how you want to feel instead of feeling like your heart has been ripped out. Write about conquering this heartbreak, like a powerful song?”

“How?” Santana looked up, tears in her eyes. 

“By remembering who you were before.”

“But I’ve been with Britt for as long as I-”

Kurt shook his head and waved his hands around, “No, think of the Santana in high school. You were fierce, strong, not afraid to speak your mind but you also had a big heart. You didn’t want to show it often but we all knew yours was just as big, if not bigger, as ours. Remember how it felt every time you got a solo and when you stood on the stage? Write about that feeling. Write about feeling on top of the world again.”

“Thanks, Hummel.”

He smiled at her and squeezed her hands, “Anytime. Now eat before it gets cold. I didn’t spend two hours in the kitchen for nothing.”

✫彡

Santana walked out off the apartment she had rented after her breakup with Brittany and crossed the street. She needed some fresh air and a distraction from her song-writing. Spring was around the corner but it was still very chilly in the big city, so she held the collar of her coat while walking through the tiny park close to her block. She started humming the melody she’d just come up with. Something just didn’t feel right yet.

Santana saw people look at her as they passed by but hoped that the big sunglasses on her face would keep them guessing of her identity. No matter how much she loved the attention from her fans, she sometimes just wanted to be normal and not have to pose for selfies every damn day.

“Hey, you!”

She sighed and stopped to turn around since she’d look like a real ass if she didn’t. She half expected to be met with a group of teenage girls with their phones ready to snap a picture, but instead she locked eyes with the girl from the diner.

“I think you dropped this.”

The girl apparently didn’t seem to recognise her thanks to the shades, and she handed her a crumbled piece of paper.

“Oh— um, thanks.” Santana gave her a tight-lipped smile. She stared back at the girl.

“I know you.”   (weren’t you in a movie with my sister? lmao sorry i had to, let’s continue)

Oh, no. The girl couldn’t find out that Santana was the woman who had basically stood her up after their talk in that diner.

She let out a breathy chuckle, “Do you?” 

“Yeah, you look familiar.” Something in Santana hoped that the girl recognised her for being a celebrity, not for what happened a week ago.

Y/N shamelessly looked her up and down before snapping her finger.

“Milkshake girl. I recognise your voice.”

Santana smiled awkwardly. Great, now she definitely looked like a douche. 

“Sorry about that, by the way... I-”

“No need to apologise. I probably came on too strong, sorry for giving you the wrong impression. I only wanted to cheer you up.” She smiled back, “It’s a shame though, it was a great milkshake.”

Santana’s expression softened, relieved at how well the girl had taken it. 

“I don’t think I’ve seen you again after that... You used to come in every few days. Is it my fault? Gunther would kill me if I lost him a customer. Wait— Don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.”

Santana smiled and removed her glasses.

“If he ever gets mad at you, just give him a box of Yeast-I-Stat. That’ll pretty much shut him up.”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, “How do you-”

“I worked there for a long time when I first moved to New York.” Santana shrugged, “I was pretty desperate for any kind of job when I landed that commercial.”

“Oh my God, you’re the Yeast-I-Stat girl!? I knew I recognised you from somewhere else, too.” The girl gasped, “I like yeast in my bagel... but not in my muffin.” She mocked and laughed afterwards.

“Oh, shut up, will you?” Santana shook her head in amusement, kinda glad those days were over.

“Is that really what you know me of?”

“Yeah, what else should I know you of? Any other embarrassing first-job commercials I should know about?”

Santana was about to mention her career but stopped herself. Clean slate. She wasn’t a celebrity in her private life. Besides, she didn’t want the girl to think she was bragging.

“No... thank God.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds before smiling.

“I’m Y/N.” She held out her hand for Santana to shake.

“Santana.”

Y/N smiled at her with the most adorable smile ever. Santana didn’t miss the twinkle in her eyes. 

She blinked a few times before shaking her head, “So, yeah. I should get going.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. I have to go, too...”

“Bye...” 

Santana waved softly as the girl turned around and walked off.

Clean slate, Santana.

✫彡

“They’re doing a Gloria Estefan night at the Spotlight Diner. We should totally go.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but that sounds out of character for the diner.” Rachel shrugged.

“I guess they finally had a cultural awakening.” Santana was mindlessly scrolling through her phone. “They’re probably too white to sing her Spanish songs though, bet they’re gonna butcher it.”

“So that’s a no for reserving us a table?” Kurt turned to the two.

“No, I wanna go.” 

“Count me in, too. I love ‘Conga’.”

Santana rolled her eyes, “That’s the only song you know of her, isn’t it?”

“No...”

“Keep next Friday night free.” 

✫彡

They walked in as ‘A Bailar’ by Gloria silently played over the speakers in the background. Santana scanned the room, shamelessly trying to find the girl she was looking for. Unfortunately, she was nowhere in sight. 

Kurt waved his hand and one of the waitresses came to take their order. They talked a bit as they waited for their food. Every time Santana saw a girl in the red outfit walk by from the corner of her eyes, her head would shot up, only to be disappointed again when it wasn’t Y/N.

“Tana, stop ogling everyone. Your food’s getting jealous.” Rachel pointed at the untouched plate in front of her. 

A few minutes later, their heads shot to the door as Y/N bursted through it. She quickly fixed her hair that was messed up by the wind and quickly tied a white apron around her waist. Gunther came from behind the counter. Though they couldn’t hear what he said, it was clear she was in trouble. He kept pointing his finger at her chest before snatching the apron off her waist and sending her into the back. 

“Oh, I bet she’s on cleaning duty now. Remember when I got an hour late because I was held up at an audition?”

Kurt and Rachel started talking but Santana wasn’t paying attention. 

Santana furrowed her eyebrows until she got a call from her PR manager. She declined and a few seconds after, she got a text.

Santana’s stomach sank and she froze. New relationship? Brittany had already moved on? Yet she still spent every day moping around, overthinking everything that had happened, unable to write any song that wasn’t about the blonde. Brittany was already giving someone else all her love? How was that fair? How was she even able to do that?

“Santana?”

“You alright?”

She snapped out of it and gave them a tightlipped, fake smile. There was no time for them to question her any further as Rachel let out a startled yelp when suddenly the first notes of ‘Conga’ blasted through the diner. The lights flickered and changed colour on the beat. Santana rolled her eyes, of course they’d start with that song. 

Girls started dancing through the pathways and tried to hype everyone up. Kurt was shimmying along and Rachel was nodding her head to the beat, a big smile on her face. Santana tried to blend but she was busy biting her lip to stop herself from crying. 

The percussion band on the little stage started playing ‘Cuba Libre’. A girl danced her way onto the stage and sang the Spanish verse. She was clearly hispanic since her pronunciation was great. Two girls started dancing on the counter and another helped someone up—Y/N. 

‘Cuba Libra’ faded into the chorus of ‘Turn the Beat Around’ to which Y/N took the lead. Santana’s frown softened at seeing the girl perform, but she still couldn’t shake the thought of Brittany off.

Santana sank back into her seat and crossed her arms, wanting to go home and crawl into her bed and not leave it for the next couple of days. She hadn’t even realised that another song was already playing and that the girls were pulling people out of their seats to ‘Get on Your Feet’. 

Y/N spotted Santana in the crowd and walked over to her, but Santana wouldn’t crack a smile. Y/N kept singing to her until she’d turn around. Kurt softly shook his head at the girl, telling her that she should leave Santana alone. But what he didn’t know, was that the girls already knew each other. Y/N noticed how Santana pursed her lips, not giving in to her. 

Y/N grabbed her shoulders, bent down to her height and slowly made the girl turn.

She sang to her,

“Deep in your heart is the answer. Find it, I know it will pull you through. Get on your feet!”

She leaned over to grab Rachel and Kurt’s hands, helping them stand up. Almost everyone in the diner was up and dancing right now, except for Santana. Kurt gave her a look, telling her to suck it up. 

“I think it's true that we've all been through some nasty weather,” Y/N turned to dance with one of her co-workers. She felt Santana look at her and walked back up to her. She danced around her. “Let's understand that we're here to handle things together.”

Y/N stuck out her tongue at Santana’s stoic expression, trying to break her. And it worked, Santana let out a soft chuckle and shook her head in amusement. Both Y/N and Kurt held out a hand for her to take. She rolled her eyes and stood up. The four of them danced together for a few seconds until Y/N walked back to the other girls. They ended the song on the stage, where everyone left but Y/N. They went back to eating their dinner as the next few songs would be slow and easy on the ears. 

Y/N sat down on the stool next to the guitarist. He started playing the soft notes of ‘Wrapped’. Kurt and Rachel went back to eating their food but Santana was too mesmerised by the girl to engage in their conversation. The soft light that was shining down on her made her look like she was the only one in the room. And judging by the look on the girl’s face while she sang, she felt like she was the only one in the room too. She hadn’t once opened her eyes the first minute, she was just so indulged in the song. 

A small smile made its way onto Santana’s face at the sight. She knew how good it felt to be so into a song that you could just forget the world around you— to find your corner of the sky. It was very obvious that Y/N felt at ease, even while performing in front of people. It was rare to see people be so clearly in love with what they were doing. 

Santana grabbed her phone, opened Instagram and decided to film this moment. Y/N’s face wasn’t recognisable from the distance where Santana was filming from so she decided to just put it into her story. Everyone deserved to see this. 

Was this positive and uplifting enough?

✫彡

‘What we know of Santana and Brittany’s breakup...’

‘Read what Brittany S Pierce has to say about her ex’

‘Santana’s social media silence over?’

‘Santana Lopez still in love or in love again?’

And many more headlines had been posted after that Friday. Santana got a lot of followers after her first post in over a year. She had also gotten a lot of hate, which was something she hadn’t missed. Brittany hadn’t said one bad word about their relationship or about Santana but for some reason she still received backlash. Brittany spoke so highly about Santana and all the questions were answered with respect. But Santana wasn’t surprised about that at all, that was just how Brittany was.

There were still people—mainly Brittany fans—who blamed Santana and made all kinds of crazy assumptions about what had happened. 

“Just delete the app. You don’t need that kind of toxic energy around you.”

Y/N was filling the ketchup bottles while she sat in front of Santana. 

How had this happened, you ask? One of Y/N’s coworkers had recognised her on Santana’s story and pointed it out to her. When Santana visited the diner again, Y/N had jokingly apologised about not knowing who she was before, to which Santana had replied,

“You knew who I was. You knew the real me. Not the celebrity or crazy hot girl from the Yeast-I-Stat commercials.”

After that, Santana made sure to come round when Y/N was done or only doing little chores. 

Y/N loved that she got a new friend and Santana was glad that she finally had someone who she could start over with. Someone who didn’t know her from back in high school and someone who didn’t become friends with her solely for the fact that she was famous.

“I can’t. They want me to post at least once a week.” Santana groaned, “I don’t even know what to post. All I do is sleep, try to write and go here.”

They worked in silence for a few minutes until Y/N opened her mouth again.

“Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetables?”

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, giving her a look. 

“No guesses? Well, they can’t ketchup.”

Santana snorted and shook her head. “Wow, okay. I’m going to pretend you didn’t just make an awful joke.”

“Yeah, you go do that while I bring these to the back.”

Santana watched her leave and sighed. The past week had been hell for Santana. She yearned for every little bit of attention from Y/N and her insides turned to mush whenever the girl smiled at her. But something held her back. She didn’t want to fall in love again. Not yet, not when she still held her high school sweetheart in her heart. But it was so hard to not stare at Y/N or freak out whenever she called her on the phone. 

“Ready?”

Santana laughed at the huge guitar in Y/N’s hands. She seemed so small now. 

“What’s that for?”

“You said you didn’t know what to post. You should post a little acoustic cover of that song I helped you finish last week?”

Santana looked at her, contemplating if she should agree or not. 

“Can you even play?”

Y/N smiled sheepishly, “Only that song. I practiced the chords all week. But hey, if I mess up— just know that i’m willing to publicly embarrass myself just to help you out.”

Santana smiled at her in adoration. “Fine. Okay.”

They walked to the vacant stage and put Santana’s phone on the sheet music standard.

“Oh-I... I’ll scoot out of the frame if me being in it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Why would it make me uncomfortable?”

Y/N laughed, “People might assume we’re together after all the assumptions about you in the magazines. That would be weird.”

Santana’s expression faltered. “O-Oh...yeah.. it would...” She faked a smile.

Y/N started strumming the guitar.

(radio silence by naya rivera)

Santana closed her eyes as she started singing. It was clear to everyone that this song was about Brittany and she wasn’t ready yet to let them hear the whole song. It felt too personal to give it away just like that. Which is why they decided to do just a snippet. 

She opened her eyes and looked at Y/N when one chord sounded terrible. You could hear Y/N giggle from behind the phone. Santana smiled wide and had a hard time singing without laughing. Y/N stuck out her tongue as she seemed focused on getting the next one right. Santana unintentionally looked at her longingly the last few notes but broke out of it when Y/N stopped playing. 

✫彡

Should she be thanking the tabloids? No, never. However, she couldn’t deny that they had been the reason why Y/N had even brought it up. 

“Do you like me?” 

Santana widened her eyes.

“And I don’t mean as friends. I mean like-like. Do you like-like me?”

“I-uh, I-” Santana stammered. 

“It would be really embarrassing if you didn’t, to be honest.”

Santana gave her a wary but panicked look.

“Because I do... like-like you, I mean.”

“Wow, wait— what?”

She opened and closed her mouth until she saw the honesty on Y/N’s face who let her statement linger in the air, hoping that Santana would say something. But the silence only heightened her nerves

“Santana-”

“I can’t... I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

She quickly grabbed her stuff and left the diner, just like she had done the first time. 

She rushed home, biting her lip to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. The second she unlocked her front door, she let them go. Santana tried to control her sobs as she sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands. 

Her safety net whenever she felt lost or emotional— Brittany — was gone, what was she supposed to do now? She let out another sob as she missed Britt’s arms holding her close. 

She reached for her phone without a second thought and dialled the woman’s number. Brittany picked up after a few seconds, much to Santana’s surprise.

“Hey, um, Santana. What’s up?”

Brittany decided to break the ice, but all formalities were thrown out the window when she heard the Latina let out another sob.

“Santana, are you okay?! What’s happened? Where are you?”

Was she okay? No. But what was she supposed to tell Brittany? That it was partly because of her?

“Please, say something, Tana. I’m worried.”

Santana held the bridge of her nose and let out a big, shaky sigh.

“Please forget that I called, this was a mistake. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

She hung up. But the phone rang after a few seconds. Santana tossed it next to her on the couch and rubbed her forehead. How could she have been so stupid?

It rang again. And again, and then another three times. Santana stared at the screen long and hard before picking it up. 

“Don’t shut me out, please. You know I still care about you when something’s wrong.”

Santana let out a huff and Brittany knew exactly what that meant.

“Santana, listen— I am so, so sorry for what happened. I too thought that we would be the happiest and sappiest couple forever but... some things just... happen. And I still completely understand how hard it was for you to stay friends with me without being with me and I’m so terribly sorry for that they brought you up in that interview— but I meant everything I said, Santana. You were the best thing that happened to me back then. And to me you still are my best and most incredible friend but... that’s just it.”

A long pause.

“And I kind of really miss hanging out with you and so does Lord Tubbington so if you’re comfortable with the idea, would you want to get together sometime soon? Wait— not get together-together, just... argh, you know what I mean.”

“How did you do it?” Santana broke her silence. “What changed in your mind for you to get the closure you needed? Because I never fucking got it.”

Brittany kept quiet, knowing there was more to follow.

“I have spent a whole year feeling like absolute shit, but I knew... that there was no way that we’d ever get together again. But the closure? Nope.” She furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. “And lately there’s been this incredible girl in my life and guess what? You two are fighting for first place in my head and I can’t help but want to push her out because I’m not ready to let her stay there until you are completely out of my thoughts.”

She heard Brittany let out a breath.

“Sant-”

“Oh, no, no, no. I don’t need a pity-party. I don’t-”

“Santana Lopez, listen to me.” Brittany raised her voice. “If your plan is to sabotage your own happiness, then congratulations— you’re well on your way. It’s no wonder that you’re having a hard time moving on. I mean, one— I’m a catch but two, we were together since high school, that’s a long time. We were each other’s first loves and truth be told, you never really forget those. You’ll compare every following relationship to that one, even if it was full of flaws. Truth is, you’ll never be able to move on or get the closure until you open yourself up to idea of loving someone else again. And I know how you work— you don’t ever want to open up to someone again but... if you give this girl a chance, who knows? She might be the one to change your mind. And I’ll cross my fingers she will. I hope she’ll kick me off first place like a rugby player.” Brittany snorted at her own joke. 

“Because you deserve a special someone too, Santana. And if you still don’t have the closure you need... I loved you, I cared for you, and in a way I still do. But we won’t ever get together again. That ship has sailed. I want you to be happy and I want to see you flourish in every aspect of life, just... without me being your special someone. I’d still very much like to be by your side, though, but as a friend.”

Santana let the words sink in until she suddenly widened her eyes. 

“I am such a fucking idiot.”

“Um... are we having the same phone call? Because I’m lost...”

“She told me she liked me and I ran out.”

“Was that metaphorically speaking or did you literally run out?”

“Like a chicken, Brittany.”

“Santana!? Be Chicken Little and run back!” Brittany exclaimed, “But watch out for the traffic, please, because that would be a tragic end to the story....and it would be animal abuse...”

Santana smiled softly, missing this side of Brittany.

“Okay, okay!” She laughed. 

“Keep me posted?”

Santana hummed, “Thank you, Britt.”

“Of course. You’re still my best friend, even if we haven’t seen each other in over a year. Go get the girl.”

✫彡

Santana hesitantly walked back into the diner. It wasn’t rush hour so there were only a few people having a drink.

“See you guys tomorrow!”

Y/N walked out of the backroom and froze in her spot when she saw Santana looking at her. A tightlipped, awkward smile appeared on her face and she tried to walk passed her but Santana grabbed her hand. 

“Wait, I-...I need to tell you something.”

Santana looked the girl in her eyes, seeing the anticipation and worry in them. But then she saw something else, she saw the same twinkle in her eyes when Y/N sang so beautifully that night. Only this time they were twinkling because she was looking at Santana.

She grabbed the girl’s cheek and planted a chaste kiss on Y/N’s lips. Y/N widened her eyes at first but kissed back. They parted when a bell coming from the kitchen interrupted them.

“So much for needing to tell me something...” Y/N chuckled heartily, “But I guess I got what you were trying to say.”

“You guess?” Santana shot back.

“Yeah... I’m still slightly confused...”

“How’s this?” Santana grabbed her by the waist and kissed her again. Y/N slowly tapped the girl on her chest when things started to get heated.

“Let’s keep it PG, we’ve got an audience.” 

Santana bit her lip in embarrassment when she saw that all eyes were on them now.

“But your message was loud and clear this time.” Y/N whispered in her ear and gave her one of the most adorable smiles.

“Oh...” Santana let out a breathy chuckle and looked at the ground. Being nervous was so out of character for her, but whenever it came to her and relationships she was always a simp for her significant other.

“But... can we take it slow? Because-”

Y/N nodded immediately. “I know, you don’t have to tell me. We’ll take it slow.”

✫彡

Y/N sat on Santana’s bed, reading a book while the Latina was trying to write a new song for her album. She heard yet another paper being ripped apart, followed by a loud groan. 

“Baby, you okay?”

Y/N bent over the couch and hugged Santana’s neck from behind, planting a kiss on her temple. Santana sighed and sat back, feeling more relaxed the second Y/N’s arms wrapped around her.

“It’s not working. I can’t seem to get my exact feelings onto paper and what I have now doesn’t even do it a little bit of justice.”

“The break-up song? Let me see-” Y/N went to reach for the notebook but Santana immediately turned around and smiled.

“You know what? I’m starving, and I want to take you out.”

“Oh— are you sure? We just had-”

“I’m sure. I need a break anyway.”

“Okay...well, let me get a jacket.”

Santana watched Y/N walk into the other room before quickly hiding the notebook behind the couch pillows again. She’d feel so embarrassed if Y/N ever read any of her love songs to her. Truth be told, ever since their first kiss in the diner, Santana had found her new muse. She had written a lot of songs since then but not one seemed to be good enough or do the girl justice. Besides, if Y/N read the lyrics to this song... Well, it would make or break their relationship and Santana wasn’t going to lose someone again.

“Let’s go.”

✫彡

“But I can tell my friends, right?”

“Baby, of course you can.”

“Sweet! I’m going to see them again next week. Can’t wait to see the look on their faces when they see you.”

“Oh, I’m... not sure if going with you is such a good idea.”

“I forgot— we’re taking things slow.” Y/N nodded to herself, “Sorry, I get too excited sometimes.”

Santana caressed the girl’s head and planted a kiss on it, “It’s okay. Soon.”

✫彡

“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.”

Y/N took a sip of her drink, “Well, i’m still working at the diner, that hasn’t changed. And-”

“You’re in love.”

“How-”

“I can sense it. Also, you've posted a lot of cheesy and soft quotes on your twitter so that was a dead give-away.”

“Well, yes. I’m dating someone.”

“Boy? Girl?”

“Girl, duh.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Oh my God, Y/N!” Her friend squealed, “Who is it? Show me a picture, let me approve.”

“It’s Santana Lopez.”

The two friends fell quiet.

“The famous singer?” One of them asked.

“Hun, she’s hardly famous anymore. Are we sure she still even exists?”

“Hey!” Y/N pouted. “But I’m telling you the truth. It’s Santana.”

“Real funny, she doesn’t even live in New York.”

“Uh, yeah, she does.”

“No, she doesn’t. TMZ said she moved back to Ohio after the break-up.”

Y/N shook her head, “They also said she started dating a 80 year-old billionaire and bought a pet alpaca, which I think is ridiculous. You’re too gullible.”

Her friend shrugged, “Perhaps, yeah. But hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell us who it really is yet.”

Y/N rolled her eyes when they switched the topic.

✫彡

“How did it go, babe? Were you happy to see them again?”

“You’re not going to believe me but they thought I was joking.”

“Joking about what?”

Y/N sat down next to Santana on the couch, immediately cuddling up to her. “Well, they didn’t believe I was dating you.”

“Why would they not believe you?”

“I think you forgot that you’re kinda famous.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’m hardly famous.”

Y/N mocked her, earning a playful punch in the shoulder from Santana but her smile soon disappeared.

“Um...”

“No bad news, please!” Y/N immediately noticed the change in Santana.

“No, no, don’t worry. I mean, I don’t think it’s bad news— it’s just... a lot...to deal with right now.”

“Just rip the bandaid off.”

Santana grabbed her phone and showed Y/N the post.

“Oh...” Y/N swiped and saw that she had been photographed as well.

“I know we said we would take things slow so I’m so sorry that the media is trying to fuck that up again.” Santana examined Y/N, who was difficult to read. “This is exactly what ruined everything last time. Fuck! Here I thought it would be different this time around. I should’ve never-”

“Santana, sshh.” Y/N grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. “Stop thinking.” 

Santana looked up like a sad puppy.

“Nothing is getting ruined again. Not on my watch.” She put the phone on the coffee table, “Let’s just ignore that. Let them start rumours, let them guess, let them make up drama but the only two people who really know the truth are you and I. It’s our life, not theirs. So no matter what they will say, I will love you unconditionally for as long as you want me to... and I will never feel differently... about you.” 

Santana's head shot up, looking puzzled and panicked at the same time.

“W-Where did you get that from?”

Y/N smiled at Santana and caressed her cheek, “You need to find better hiding places, babe.”

Y/N suddenly looked worried, “Unless that song wasn’t about me... then... well, this is awkward. Just-”

“I love you.” Santana cut her off, tears in her eyes. She felt the urge to pinch herself but decided it would look silly. Was she really in love again after all that she’d been through? 

“I love you too, unconditionally. And... you better make that song your first single.”

✫彡

“Guys, I’m literally in the pictures with her?!”

“Yah, but you look more like a fan of her than her girlfriend, look at you... swooning.”

“I mean, yes, I adore everything she does...”

Y/N’s friend leaned over and smiled, “So you’re really dating the Santana Lopez?”

“I mean, I sure hope she does...” Santana walked up to their table in the little cafe, startling Y/N’s friends while the girl just looked at them with a smirk on her face. Finally.

Santana sat down next to her and gave her girlfriend a kiss before turning back to the two friends sitting in front of them.

“Is that enough proof or do you need me to bend her o-”

“That’s enough!” Y/N gave Santana a playful slap across the head. 

“Oh my God, no!” Y/N’s friend exclaimed, “Speak for yourself! Imagine the money I’d make with a tape of that! I’d finally be the rich bitch I’ve always been deep down.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes at him and it earned a laugh from Santana, “I like you.” 

“Why, muchas gracias.”

“Wow, thanks for completely taking my spotlight. Hi, i’m her best friend, he’s just our accessory.”

“Excuse me?!”

Y/N shook her head at the two of them. 

“Are you regretting you came along?” Y/N turned to her girlfriend.

“We wouldn’t judge you if you said yes, to be honest.” Her friend laughed. 

Santana smiled at them, “No, it’s been a while since I met new people and you two seem fun and well, you mean a lot to this one over here so I’m happy to be here.”

Y/N snuggled up to Santana and put her head on her shoulder.

“Alright, go and make me jealous. It’s fine.”

“Shut up! Now tell us how you two met, please!”

✫彡

Santana couldn’t stop playing with her fingers and the bracelets on her wrist as the hours passed. Only a few more minutes now until her new song ‘My Unconditional Love’ would go online, for the world to hear. There had been a lot of speculations about the two women the past few months, but they had tried to be more discreet when they were outside. Much to the dismay of the paparazzi and tabloids. This song would basically be a dead give away to their relationship but she didn’t care. This song already meant so much to her and Santana hoped she could write plenty more songs like these about Y/N.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

Y/N’s voice interrupted her thinking.

“Wh- No, never! It’s probably my favourite song I ever wrote... it’s just... nerve-wracking, is all.”

“C’mere.”

Santana walked into Y/N’s open arms and let out a big sigh at the feeling of her arms around her. 

“You’ve come a long way and I am so proud of you... but most of all, I’m happy to be on this ride with you. I know this song will point a lot of fingers to us dating but hey, like we said before— no one needs to know but us and our friends and families. Capiche?”

Santana nodded and grabbed the girl’s cheeks, “I’m so happy with you.”

They both beamed from ear to ear until the bell rang. Santana opened the door. 

“I’m so excited!” Kurt squealed and dragged Rachel along inside.

“It’s time, guys!” Y/N sang as she appeared from the kitchen, trying to balance a tray with four champagne glasses on it. 

“Hook your phone up to the speakers!” Rachel grabbed a glass. Santana’s new song started playing which earned raised eyebrows from the three others.

“This isn’t the same song you sent me?!” Kurt exclaimed.

“No, it is. It’s just not the slow version. I’m keeping that version for us.” Santana grabbed Y/N’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It felt too special to share.”

“Well, damn, I’m digging this one, too!”

They started dancing together to the upbeat song. Y/N kept staring at Santana, who seemed too excited and happy to notice.

Her unconditional love.

[m111nho]

What a shame

What if after you joined the scouts in order to help Eren get through his Titan experiments with the special operations squad you start getting close to the captain whom you've been bickering with all along?

(A/N) I thought about this while listening to "what a shame" by leyla blue so enjoy,,,I'll probably do sum parts lol.So I'm 4'11 irl,I didn't do it so Levi would be taller.

swearing,kind of violence, insinuated smut, agegap

around 4.8k words<3

(F/N)'s POV

It's now been twenty four hours after the stupid trial they held for Eren and we are about to set off for the old scouts' quarters where Eren will be going under a number of experiments.Now don't get me wrong I love Eren but requesting me to join him with the special operations squad to help him get through it? Couldn't he have asked Mikasa or Armin instead?Well I know they chose me because I was the only one of age,still though at eighteen Mikasa is still stronger than me so I don't see a problem with her replacing me.Yesterday's still fresh in my mind,after the trial Commander Erwin and Captain Levi approached me while I was sitting with Sasha.

"Cadet (L/N) can you join us in my office?"I heard a voice behind me say,I turned around and I was shocked.Commander Erwin with Captain Levi were asking me to join them to Commander's office.Oh shit what did I do?

"Yes sir."I saluted and looked him in the eyes feeling intimidated,I didn't even look at Captain,hell he even scared me from what he did to Eren about an hour ago.He beat the shit out of him infront of everyone for god's sake!

I followed behind them through hallways taking a few turns to Commander's office.I was the last one to enter and I closed the door behind me bracing myself for what's to come.

"Please take a seat (F/N)."Said the commander and I awkwardly sat down in front of them.Then I took the courage to look at Captain only to find steely gray eyes looking back at me,however I kept looking at him while I felt my face getting hot.Now that I've taken a better look at him I don't understand why people don't find him attractive,his face is symmetrical with a straight nose and he has a killer jawline.His hair is pitch black and styled nicely and overall he has a good physique even though he is indeed short,he is taller than me by a few inches though.Of course I've heard the stories of humanity's strongest soldier and how incredible he is but to be honest after today I think that he's nothing more than an entitled ass.A very attractive entitled ass.

I turned my head around to face commander and before I could speak he started talking.

"Don't worry cadet you're not in trouble." I let out a breath I didn't know I held. "What we want from you,is kind of a command." he continued.

"Oh." I said and he probably noticed the glimmer of confusion in my (e/c) eyes.

"Well Eren Jaeger will be brought to the old quarters of the Survey Corps under the supervision of the special operations squad led by Captain Levi,"he motioned to the raven haired man who stood still with an expressionless face."And since Eren will be experimenting all the time I thought that it would be good for him to see familiar faces,so we handpicked you to join him."he finished and I was left speechless.

"Sir,I'm sure Eren would prefer for either cadet Ackerman or cadet Arlert to join him,they're all very close."I said and looked up to the intimidating commander.

"Nonesense the reason we picked you is because you're of age and on top of your class." he replied.

"It's actually cadet Ackerman who's on top,I come in second but okay.I will be joining Jaeger and the special operations squad if that's your command."I slumped down my shoulders.

He nodded and started filling me in on what I would be doing there for the rest of the month.

I sighed turning back to see Petra who was talking with Eld.Oluo was talking about something irrelevant with Eren while Gunther was just waiting for Captain's order for departure.I learned all their names yesterday at dinner since we'll spend quite some time together.Eld and Gunther were more quiet and laid back,Oluo was the one trying to imitate the captain so he talked a lot about past missions and himself.Petra was sweet and I could see she admired captain a lot.Maybe a bit too much but that wasn't for me to judge,she was a few years older than me so we clicked.

"Oi"we heard from the very front of our formation,"We're leaving,follow my lead."Captain Levi said with a stone cold face.

A couple of ''yes sir's" were thrown and we started our journey on our horses.By noon we could see the White castle nestled in between the green of the forest.I was chatting with Petra about her Father,he seemed very sweet like her,when captain spoke.

"So when we arrive we'll be cleaning the whole place,got it?" he said looking at me and Eren.

Both of us nodded frantically but I sighed internally.I never really liked cleaning,I found it boring but I always kept my body and clothing clean,I hated the feeling of filth on me it reminded me of the streets.

We continued galloping until we reached the gates of the castle,it was massive.Oh hell no we'd spend the whole day and night cleaning it,the place looked dirty and in no way shape or form fit for residence.

It was now starting to get dark, it's been a few hours since we arrived and we've been cleaning non-stop.Captain ordered me and Eren to clean the whole the left wing.Eren wouldn't stop talking and all I could do is mentally block him out of my head to keep going with the cleaning.A knock was heard from the door of the room we're now cleaning, a second later captain Levi opened the door and I had to compose myself so I wouldn't laugh.He wore a white bandana over his hair and a fucking mask.Both me and Eren saluted.

"Are you done here?"he asked eyeing the room.

"Not yet captain,we still have a room left but we'll get right to it."said Eren before I could speak,I was still trying to hold my laughter in.

"Eren go start the other room and leave (F/N) to finish this, you'll get it over with more quickly,she will join you when she's done."he ordered and Eren agreed,running off to the next room.

I picked up the rug I was working with on the window and started scrubbing, painfully aware of captain's steely eyes on me.

"I don't know why Erwin picked you to join us."a quiet voice said behind me.

"In all honesty captain neither do I."I said not loosing my temper or turning around,I was familiar with his rude remarks,having heard a lot of soldiers complain about it over the years.I didn't hear anything apart from the door behind me close,leaving me alone.

In what felt years later we were done and heading down to the kitchen to grab some food.I caught Petra by the stairs and we walked down to the kitchen meeting an already seated captain.Petra practically run to the table and I flinched at the noise her shoes made sliding on the rocky floor.

"Captain would you like me to make you some tea?"she asked while I sat two seats away from the head of the table.

"No thank you Petra,I am already aware that you know how to make tea.Cadet (L/N) will make some for all of us."he said looking at me and I returned his gaze slightly nodding.Standing up I made my way to the kettle that was already filled with water,placing it on the stove.A yellow light filled the room and I took the tray with the cups,placing it on the table infront of the captain.When I heard the water bubbling I walked over to the kettle,taking it off the stove and throwing three teabags in it,swirling it around and letting it steep.Minutes later I took the teabags out and held the kettle in my hands.Now back at the table I started with the captain,taking a cup off the tray and placing it near his hand.I could smell his hair from where I was standing,which by the way was kind of behind him and a bit on the left side while pouring tea in his cup.I looked down to him and found him starring sight back to me.

"Do you take it with sugar or milk sir?"I asked keeping the eye contact.He raised his eyebrows.

"No,thank you."I nodded and walked around the table pouring tea to every single one of the special operations squad,Eren and then myself.I could see from the corner of my eye captain holding his cup in a peculiar way,instead of holding it from the handle like a normal fucking person,he holded it from the rim,his palm over the opening.Pouring the last bit of tea to my cup as I sat down I looked at Eren who was talking with Eld,Eld was sitting both on my left and captain's while Oluo was sat at captain's right with Petra next to him on his right .Next to me was Gunter at my right and at the far end of the table was Eren.I drifted off looking down at my cup on the table,my hand wrapped around it when a noise was heard from the kitchen's entrance.It was section commander Hange Zoë.They were supposed to come in tomorrow but I guess they were too excited.

"I was examining two titans we caught alive in the city,I would love for you to help me with tommorrow's experiments.I came here to ask for you permission." they said to Eren.

"An experiment?What am I going to do exactl-" Hange cut him off before he could finish.

"What else except of the amazing thing you already do?"

"Well I can't give you the permission, you see someone else in charge for me."he replied and Hange turned to captain.

"Levi does Eren have to do something tommorrow?"they asked and Captain seemed displeased.

"He has to clean the garden."his reply was short.

"Fine then it's settled!Eren tommorrow we're going to collaborate!"they said taking his hand in theirs.Eren looked overwhelmed.

"Yes."he stuttered."But what kind of experiments to you do with titans?"he asked and their face lit up.

"Uhm,what exactly are this experiments?"he asked once again.Then Oluo spoke.

"Hey stop.Don't ask them this."he said and I looked back at Hange.

"Ah I knew it,your expression have away your desire for knowledge!"the captain suddenly sat up along with everyone else and I did the same.I waved Eren goodbye mouthing <<goodnight>>.I felt kinda bad leaving him there all alone with Hange but he asked for it.As I turned to the left where my assigned room was I was stopped from the captain.

"Since Eren will be accompanying Hange, you'll be cleaning the garden.Understood?"he motioned down infront of the window where an overgrown carden was.I sighed, tommorrow was my day off and I really didn't want to spend it this way.

"I'm sorry captain I'm afraid I can't, tommorrow's my day off."I said respectfully and his jaw clenched.

"I see Erwin hasn't informed you about this,that bastard always leaves the hard work to me."he whispered the last part,almost to himself."Cadet while you're with us here,you will not be having days off."he stated sternly.What?

"What?I never agreed to this."

"You don't need to,these are orders cadet."

"Then I don't want to follow orders."I am not loosing my long awaited day off for this shit.

"You see (F/N), you really don't have a choice so go to sleep and be up at dawn or there'll be consequences, besides it's almost curfew."he swiftly turned around and walked on the opposite direction.Great.

As if his orders were engraved in my mind I really did wake up at dawn.Groaning I dragged myself out of bed and in the bathroom,I doubt anyone will be awake at this time so I didn't bother to change off my nightclothes which consisted of a long white tank top,I noticed that the awaited morning cold had hardened my nipples,and a pair of loose fitting pants.I actually stole these from Reiner,he was about to throw them away anyway because of a rip on the left knee.I sewed it up and now it was my favourite piece of clothing I owned.The cold water run down my body and it waked me up instantly,grabbing the soap bar I scrubbed my hair thoroughly.It smelled like lavender.Finishing up cleansing my body,I run the cold water once a gain to rinse off.I reached for the towel and wrapped it around my body,with my left hand I clenched on the material in order to secure it on my body and on the other hand I had my nightclothes.Walkind down the corridor I shivered,I almost dropped my towel when a dark figure appeared infront of me whilst I made a turn.

"By the walls captain you scared the shit out of me!"I cursed forgetting the ultimately embarrassing situation I was in for a moment.But that moment didn't last long when I remebered my appearance.I felt captain's body tense up under the back of my hand.I was practically stuck on his front so I took a couple of steps back,my face now red from the embarrassment of my captain seeing me like this.I heard him clear his throat and he most probably regained his composure.

"Uh change,have breakfast and go start with the garden.I'll be joining you shortly after I make sure four-eyes doesn't kill Jaeger."he said and I nodded sprinting to my room.Unaware of the pair of bright brown eyes that just saw my entire encounter with captain.

Quickly I pulled on my chest wrappings,underpants and a white shirt with my military trousers.I didn't have to wear the harnesses today so I ditched them in the chair near my bed and I laced up my leather boots.I combed my wet hair with my fingers,they fell just bellow my shoulders in a middle part.The kitchen was empty but it looks like someone has already brewed some tea and there's porridge on the stove.I ate quickly,drinking my tea in a hurry and I left the kitchen.The garden was peaceful but also chaotic.It was so overgrown with weeds and it desperately needed organisation,the stone path was also cover in moss.I picked up the water/vinegar solution and a scrubber.I started working on the stone pavement,getting the moss off.

Some time later it was finally finished,the sun now brightly above my head.A few drops of sweat run down my forehead,my hand willing them off in an instant.

"Oi cadet!How is it going?"captain's voice said.

"So now you join me? It's been surely hours!"just breathe (F/N) don't let your anger take over you.He seemed to catch on my anger even though I tried my best to cover it.I felt a harsh grip on my chin,tilting it up where I met his cold eyes.I was still on my knees and his force hold didn't help.

"Why are you complaining cadet?I already told you I'd be joining you when it was possible."

"Couldn't you have joined me earlier,it surely wouldn't take you more than a few minutes to ensure Eren's safety."I spat at him.

"Now brat even if I didn't join you,you still would have to finish this garden.It's orders."he said releasing my chin from his grasp.My eyes shot daggers at him,only if he weren't my boss..."Anyways I'll help you finish so we can start training."he finished.Training?

"Training?Why?"I asked

"Because." he replied and began to pull on weeds from the garden.What an asshole.Having no other option I did too and almost an hour later we were done.

"Four-eyes must have finished now,I'll get the others,you though should wear your gear."

Truly in about a quarter of a clock we were standing all together for training.Apparently Eren didn't have any progress in transforming,now with a bangdaged hand.

"Warm up, we're doing hand to hand combat today.I'm pretty sure you know it isn't as important with titans but as a soldier you won't have to face only those.Hand to hand combat is something you should rely on when times get tough."said captain."Petra you're with Eren,Gunther you're with Oluo and (F/N) you're with me,I want to test your abilities."he finished,I suppose Eld was helping Hange with something.

Everyone got in a line,captain in front of me.I made sure to keep my ground while he was just there waiting for me to do something.I could hear everyone else grunting while they fought with eachother,yet me and Captain we're not rushing ourselves, circling around each other.

"Aren't you going to make a move on me captain?Afraid aren't we?"I said with a smirk and he scoffed.

"It's not my fucking skills that are being tested (F/N) so just start."he did have a point so with all my strength I went in with my right fist straight to his face,I already knew he'd avoid it so the moment he did I tripped him using my leg.He did however notice and he wasn't about to fall down,at least without me.His right hand grabbed my waist and I fell on top of him with a whelp.In my state of surprise he took both of my wrists,rolling over on my body pinning them over my head.I grunted,his smug face inches from my own,he really did have beautiful eyes.It looked as if I was defeated but I had another trick up my sleeve.Due to my years spent in the streets I had to learn how to adapt so I learnt how to slide over stuff,making me very flexible.Carefully, without him noticing I lifted my right foot from under him and brought it over his left side,me now rolling over him,in his now surprised state his grip on my hands loosened.I retrieved full control of my wrists so I yanked them off his palms completely.I grabbed each one of his hands and pinned them to his sides,now sitting on top of his waist.

"Shorty has lost finally!" a voice said,Hange.

"Tsk,you win cadet,now get off me."I did exactly as he said.He walked back into the castle after dismissing us.

"Oh my god (F/N)!Captain hasn't lost in hand to hand combat,like never!"Petra walked over to me.

"Really?"woah."Well there's a first for everyone,now let's go to eat I'm fucking starving."

After I showered and changed again,fucking Levi had to choose hand to hand combat the day I showered,I went to the kitchen to eat with the others,everyone was already in there eating.I joined in the conversation with Oluo about how wall Rose has little to no supplies left while eating.It wasn't so bad here after all...

Since Hange was joining us we had to add an other chair,with us moving around I ended up to the captain's left,a bit closer than I would have liked.I looked at Oluo across from me and flashed him small smile.After we finished I joined Hange to their laboratory,them explaining me what happened today,Eren and the others will experiment more in the evening.They asked me if I wanted to join them but I said no,I wanted to relax for the rest of the day,maybe read some more pages of my book.It was about a girl who was helplessly in love with someone she couldn't have,it was more of a diary to be honest.It tugged painfully on the strings of my heart for a reason.

"(F/N) I'm going to need your help in the library once four-eyes is gone."captain said opening the door of my room and I screeched.

"Captain what are you doing?I could have been bare!"who even does that?

"Nothing I haven't seen before now in about an hour I need you in the library, we're going to organise the books in alphabetical order and dust the shelves."I groaned but hid it with a cough.

"Yes captain."he nodded and left,as soon as he did I fell on my bed cursing at him.

It is now almost night,me and Levi have took out all the books off the selves.We are dusting the inside of the selves but I can't quite reach the top.Being 4'11 at eighteen isn't enjoyable,even the military's shorty is taller than you.

"What's wrong?"he asked,he must have saw me struggling to reach the top shelf on my tiptoes.

"It's nothing sir, it's just that I can't reach the top shelf don't worry though I'll just get on top of a chair."shrugging it off I started walking towards the end of the room where a stack of chairs was placed.

"Don't you dare step on a clean chair with your shoes.I'll just lift you."he said gabbing my waist with both hands and placing me on his right shoulder so easily,as if I weighted nothing.God how was he able to do it? Military training,the guy's probably shredded.No don't think about his body right now what the fuck.

"Uh alright,can you go to the left and as I clean move to the right?"I felt his head nod on the outside of my left thigh and I started moving.When I finished I felt the weight under me gone and in a matter of seconds I was on the ground with a big thud.

"What the fuck captain why'd you do that?"I said while getting up.

"Revenge for this morning."he walked off and towards the door.

"Asshole..."I said quietly to myself,or I thought so.

"What did you say?"fuck fuck fuck.

"Nothing sir."I replied my face getting red.

"Look cadet I don't know who you think you are but addressing your superiors like this is unacceptable."his words came off aggressively but his face stayed stone cold.

"Well I'm sorry but what am I supposed to say to someone who won't accept their defeat because they think they're so damn unbeatable?"I snapped and in seconds I was pinned to the wall next to the selves.

"This is the last time I'll go easy on you brat, I'm your captain and I demand respect."venom dripping from his words,his hands tugging hardly on my jaw.

"I only show respect when I know it'll be returned and with all honesty sir you've been quite an asshole to me today." I smirked and I felt a hand slap my cheek,not hard but enough to make me angry.

"What the fuck did you just say?"his eyes burning into mine.

"What the did you just do?"I bit back wiggling my way off his grasp,pushing him down with all my strength.I was on top of him now just like in training this morning.

He reached out to turn me around with his hands but I took them both and locked them behind my back.I knew I'd regret this later,but I was so damn mad.

"Cadet get off me right now and I'm willing to forget what happened today."he said scowling.

"There's no way in hell I'm doing that until you apologize for being an asshole."I replied smugly.He must've not liked that because next thing I knew I was under him,his nose grazing mine.I could feel his laboured breathing on my lips and a thought flashed in my mind.As soon as it did I pushed it away.

"Let me go!"my voice trembled from both fear and fury.His hand had clutched both my wrists in a tight grip,his other hand under my chin tilting it up so I wouldn't miss his eyes.I felt the steely gaze piercing through my (e/c) one.Without thinking I subconsciously looked down on his panting lips and returned my gaze back to his.His eyebrows slightly raised,his eyes now we're traveling down to my panting lips.I knew what was bound to happen any second right now.He slightly shifted, softening his grip on my wrists,his straight nose moved on top of mine,a ghost of a kiss lingered millimeters above my mouth.I closed my eyes waiting for him to lock our lips but that moment never came,on the contrary I heard a sound of steps nearing the door.Captain quickly rose to his feet,pulling me up with him.

"(F/N)! Captain!"Eren exclaimed.He seemed quite disappointed,I wondered if he failed again.

"Jaeger help (L/N) finish organising the books."he ordered and left the room.

Putting the books back in the shelves a realisation came upon me.He wanted to kiss me,and I was to kiss him back.

Dinner approached and everyone was in the kitchen eating except captain.

"Hey Petra do you know where captain is?"Gunther asked and she shrugged.

"He seemed angry so I don't know,he might not want to eat tonight."

"Why would he be angry though?"

"I don't know but (F/N) you were with him right?Did you guys fight?" Eren interrupted and I wanted to throw my spoon at him.We were great friends but he just doesn't know when to shut the fuck up.All eyes on me now.

"Well we did kind of have a disagreement." I said looking at my plate."It's okay I, I'll get him some tea and apologize."they all seemed content with my reply.

The tray wobbled in my hands,I reached his temporary office.Knocking twice I heard a voice behind the door say <<come in>> and so I did.

His gaze didn't falter when I stepped in,walking in a straight line after closing the door,I placed the tray on the desk before him.

"Sir,I would like to apologize for today's incident,I shouldn't have been disrespectful to you and I definitely do not want to be the reason you don't get to enjoy this evening with your comrades."I said and the bastard laughed.He laughed.I've never seen him laugh.That's when I noticed a bottle of dark liquid on the corner of the window behind him.

"Cut the bullshit (F/N) we both know you don't feel sorry for anything that happened today."he said,now I understand,his laugh was a mocking one.I mean he wasn't wrong,I only said that to avoid punishment.He sighed and motioned for me to get to the left side behind the desk so I did.Standing up from his seat,his palm cupped the side of my neck,bringing us closer.He didn't get to do anything else though because I took his face between my hands and pressed our lips together.I sighed into the kiss.He kissed me back,forcefully,teeth grazing my lips.Bevuase of my surprised state of teeth on my lips he took the opportunity to lift me up from my waist,sitting me on top of the desk and slipped his tongue in my mouth.He grunted when my hands left his face and went straight on his hair,running my fingertips over his undercut and tugging at the longer hair on top of it.Humming I slowly tore my lips from his,placing small kissed from his chin to his jaw where I traveled down to his neck,leaving opened mouthed kisses all around until I reached the collar of his shirt.My hands trembled while I unbuttoned the first three buttons off his shirt,moving the collar out of the way I attached my lips on the base of his neck,where it connected with his torso and sucked on the skin,slightly biting it.I was no strangers to lovebites.He sucked in a breathe.

"Fuuuuck." a throaty moan came out of him.I smiled to myself and continued with my work,leaving a few more marks to spots I knew his clothing would cover up.As I pulled away from his torso,I looked up at him.His eyes were full of lust,just like mine.I smiled devilishly at him,kissing him once again.We left the office discreetly and he led me to his room locking the door,pinning me against it.

"After all I don't think you mind discipline."Oh boy.

Streaks of blinding gold twinkled over my eyes the following morning.My face twisted,turning around I let my hand touch the bedding but instead it hooked over a hard surface.Then it hit me.Shit,shit,shit.Last night me...and captain...my eyes widened.Red faced me looked up,captain was sleeping with his hands under my waist.Moments of yesterday's interaction flew through my mind when I heard a groan leave his red lips.His hands tightened around my waist bringing me on top of him.That's when his eyes opened up and found my head in the crook of his neck.The muscles of his stomach tensed up.I rose up using the sheet to cover my chest.

"Uh goodmorning captain?"I said unsure of what to say.He grabbed my nape and forced me on his hard chest once more.

"Shut the fuck up."so he didn't want to talk about yesterday,okay he's saving me the embarrassment.His fingers combed through my hair and I hummed kissing the surface of his chest.He tilted my head up by my hair,I felt something harden against my thigh.Morning sex?Count me in.

When I was about to make a move someone knocked on captain's door.Panicking I pulled away and covered myself in the sheets leaving him naked.

"Captain it's almost nine in the morning,how come you haven't gotten up yet?"Petra.

"I have a headache Petra,I'll come down once the painkiller (L/N) gave me starts working."he replied.

"Oh,I'm sorry to hear that sir.I'll go and make you some tea."her steps became less and less loud until they were completely gone.

I covered him with the sheets and started putting on my clothes.After everything was on I turned to the captain.

"I better get going,see you later captain."I smiled and he nodded.Opening the door and making sure no one was around I returned to my room.Now what the fuck was all this?

[sneyrwrites]

hi! can i request for a levi x reader scenario where the reader is a really powerful titan shifter and levi finds out about it. slight angst and fluff would be great. im apologize if this was confusing, this is my first time requesting anything.

Don’t worry! It’s perfectly fine, and this was so fun to write i went a little overboard and this ended much longer than what i intended.

Also, this has spoilers of the last chapters of season 1, specifically, when the female titan appears!  if you haven’t got there yet, feel free to send another ask letting me know and I’ll work on a spoiler free one.

Thank u for requesting! xx

|Wordcount: 3183 | |Warnings: Curse, spoilers.| 

“TRUST”  TITAN SHIFTER!READER X LEVI ACKERMAN

Well... things escalated quickly.

As if being a titan shifter yourself wasn’t enough, now you were in Levi’s squad and needed to protect Eren, another titan shifter like yourself. Being in the trial traumatized you, proving your fears were funded. They wanted to open him up like a fish. You wouldn’t expose your integrity like that.

Honesty was overrated.

How could you explain the fact that you couldn’t remember since when or how you got the power? You knew as much as they did about how the shift worked, being as lost as Eren was with that part of yourself. In fact, before Eren Showed up you’d thought you were one of a kind, an oddity meant to be feared, cursed to hide your real potential.

The fear of what they could do to you was enough to not share your abilities with Erwin, and when the new kid, came around you were too deep into the lie to just be like “Oh hey, by the way I’m also a titan shifter and I stood in the sidelines as hundreds of my comrades died without helping... I’m not selfish at all haha... Please don’t kill me.”

You feared what Levi would do if he found out, he’ll hate you for sure. The trust could never be earned again, he’ll be too hurt. The late night chess and tea encounters you had with him would be lost forever. You’ll be lucky if he didn’t decapitate you himself, titans had taken everything away from him after all.

The expedition was going like normal at first.

You were riding in between Nifa and Eren, wondering who would make it out alive. You trusted your squad, and you knew they were going to make it, but the people your were acquainted from other teams were in danger, and a flash of jealousy surprised you, Eren could shift if he wanted to, but you had to settle for just watching the massacre, trying to fight and save whoever you could with only those weak as fuck swords.

Your eyes went to Levi riding ahead of you, his back straight with a confidence only someone extremely strong and brave had. You admire him, and worked hard to improve inspiration by his example, your wounds heald so the only thing you had to fear was your secret being discovered.

But even so, the stench of fear was in the air, specially coming from the new recruits, the overall mood was thick and heavy, and there was also the fact that no one knew what was the mission in real life, the only thing we could do really was trust our superiors.

An hour into the expedition launched a guy from another regiment came to give the reports. You were too busy looking at the green flares shooting up in the sky as to know what he said, and for Eren’s expression you didn’t want to know either. Petra went away to carry the message under Levi’s commands and as soon as she left black smoke rose to the clouds.

An eccentric.

Dread collied in your stomach as you reached for your gun to shoot a new signal and noticed a forest of giant trees up ahead. Was Erwin really going to make you go through that titan’s den? What was going on?

The sun was blocked by the high treetops, and you and your squad made your way through the somber trail- Your exact thoughts and confusion was clear in your teammates faces, as Eren complained to Levi about the whole situation.

The new kid looked towards you, fear pooling in his green eyes, and you tried to look as calm and composed as you could, but the sweat was pearling your forehead, so it wasn’t convincing. You didn’t like the situation one bit. Turning your head to the front, you called Levi’s attention.

“Captain Levi...” You started, he turned to you and his expression softened a little, but a few tense lines remained. “Wh...” Your question was cut short by the sound of a shot, a black trail ascending behind your back. You were in deep shit.

“Take out your swords. Whatever is coming will appear all of the sudden.” Eren’s fear was almost palpable now, and as you turned to observe the signal once more you saw it.

A female titan coming from the side.

“Captain! We need to switch!” Petra’s plea to leave the horses behind to have a better chance was full of terror, but Levi didn’t react, not a single muscle constricting.

The female titan broke through a bark and a piece scared your horse, almost hitting you.

“(Y/n)!” Levi shouted, turning to you.

Once you calmed your horse down enough to have control over it, you resumed your escape, a few feet behind. Encouraging the frightened animal you tried to smile at Levi, letting him know you were okay, but his eyes were back to the front, a scowl in his features.

Looking behind you, you could see the short distance you had between the female titan and yourself. If you kept that pace she was going to catch you. And she wasn’t just an eccentric. She was just like Eren and yourself. You could see it in her focused eyes as she grabbed cables, turning and squishing your partners' bodies as if they were made of nothing but clay. An urge to transform and rip the bitch’s head off was so strong it was almost hurting you, but you had to believe in the capability’s of your commander. He must have a plan, and you and your freak power wasn’t taking into consideration. It was better to stay out of it.

But she kicked your fucking horse.

Your body flew across the air, and you could hear Petra and Oolo screaming your name, but you collided against a tree and the sound of something breaking muffled their voices, the crack reverberating into your very soul. As you were Falling to the hard floor, the only thing that was on your mind was your squad, she was about to get them and for once you were sure it was worth the sacrifice if it meant they would survive.

Rolling to your side you saw Levi’s shot a flare and the sound of an explosion made your ears ring.

That was the plan all along? To catch the fucking titan!? And to think you almost blow your cover for nothing. Fucking Erwin and his secrecy.

You tried to get up, but pain shot through your arm. For sure it was broken, and to make it worse the bone was sticking out. It would be fine in a few moments, not being that serious of a wound, but you were dangerously close to the rest of the surveys. If they saw you like that it might raise suspicions.

Sucking in a breath, you grabbed your wrist and pulled to adjust the bone back in place. The crunch and the stabbing pain making you groan The steam started to raise from the wound and a sigh came out of your mouth, the skin in your arm starting to regenerate .

“(Y/n)...?” Levi’s voice sent a shiver down your spine, and the fear nestled in your throat, constricting it. You hide your arm behind your back in a desperate and pathetic attempt to hide the truth.

You turned to him and wished you never saw him in that state. His eyes open and lost, confusion misting over his face. You looked at him fora couple of seconds, and you knew he had seen, the deep frown and his slack mouth were a clear indicative. To say he was shocked was an understatement.

“What the fuck!?” He said, drawing his blades out, the pain of betrayal flashing across his eyes. Shame rushed trough you, and your heart broke at the thought of him being disappointed. That was the last thing you wanted, but still managed to do it in your own incompetence. “You’re one of them?”

Levi took a step forward raising his sword, but you turned around and took off, incapable of stand for another moment the broken look he was giving you, his rushed footsteps followed after you. Tears slipped out of your eyes and without looking back you shot your Odm gear at the farther tree you could and allowed the pressure of the gas take you away from him and from the people you called home. Too afraid to explain yourself to them..

Levi didn’t follow after you.

You had screwed up, and badly. If only you had been honest from the beginning maybe this would’ve turned out better than it did.

Why were you even scared? Levi was trustworthy and a logical person, the fear wasn’t going to phase him enough to kill you without hearing an explanation.

Sitting on top of a branch high enough for no one to see you, you left the faucet open, and the tears fell free, sobs rocking your body. You had lost everything in only a second of careless behaviour, and now you couldn’t go back home. There was nothing left for you.

Time was lost to you, but it couldn’t be more than fifteen minutes, when your weeping session was interrupted by a terrified scream.

“Petra!” Oolo’s voice got to your ears, 

Gunther and Eld could no longer tease you about your crush on some mystery man

Everything was lost in such a short amount of time.

The Tree you were sitting on trembled, and absentmindedly you looked down to its base, the smiles of your squad still on your mind.

Eren’s half head had rolled to the base.

The sight detonated something within you, almost as if your soul had broken in half, and now someone was triturating it into a million more.

A scream that would put any Banshee to shame erupted from somewhere deep in your core. Your hands grasping your hair and pulling, trying to relief in someway the anguish you were feeling.

You were going to kill her, it was all her fault. You’ve lost everything because of her.

The sharp pain on your scalp was followed by a burning hot sensation washing over you. Only half conscious of what was happening, still too shocked to realize just how things got out of hand. You got up from the floor.

When did you fall? You couldn’t remember.

Steam rose from the severed head. A lingering touch of conciousness was still present, and you felt the failure, your teammates efforts had been in vain, and you couldn’t help them in time.

Your broken cry scared the birds away, and with a blood thirst you’ve never felt before you took off, in search of the female titan.

Zooming through trees, you ran in the direction the head came from. And soon you saw her trying to run away. Eren was nowhere to be found, and that only fuel you.

You didn’t stop once you reached her, instead deciding it was best to send both of your bodies to the floor in a mess of wrestling limbs. Managing to get her under you, your fist collided against her body. 

You were trying to feel anything, even if only a tingle of pain, to dissipate your frustration and grief, but the stupid titan’s body was like a protective shield.

You roared and in a desperate attempt you head-butted her, skulls cracking on impact.

The blonde titan looked at you with open and scared blue eyes, now sporting an evident bent in her forehead. If she was trying to get some kind of mercy, it was not going to happen, not after she obliterated your friends like they were just bugs, not even worthy of a second glance.

Twisting and turning behind your weight, she was desperately trying to get up, and twisting her hips she managed to throw your body away. But it was not the end. You were so lost to the pain than once you regained your balance you grabbed her once more. 

Standing behind her, your fingers grasped her jaw, and you pulled up, trying to return the favor of what she did to Eren. Muscles ripped because of the brute force, as she desperately tried to claw at your arms. As you had her mouth open, you were going to keep going until you rip her to shreds, put the sight of two horrified people stopped your movements. 

Your body locked up when you and Levi made eye contact, Mikasa by his side staring horrified at you. You were barely aware of the titan, still thrashing against your arms, but there was no use, you were too strong and you had the upper hand. 

In a flash Levi strapped one of his hooks into the tree next to your head and dived into the female titan’s mouth, retrieving Eren’s body covered in filthy saliva. He then went back to where Mikasa was, but his eyes never left your body. 

Your conciousness came back when his steel orbs caught your attention, and shame rushed through your body. There was no way you’ll confront Levi after he saw you as a titan. Mikasa grabbed Eren’s body in her arms, but you didn’t wait around to see how things would turn out. 

Turning around you sprinted to the exit of the woods, once you were out, there was no way for him to catch in the open field without his ODM.

“Wait!” Levi’s screamed, but that didn’t stop you at all.

You had almost made it, but suddenly the world titled and your titan form fell face first into the ground. In that moment whatever remainded of conciousness you had abbandoned you,  the las thing in your mind was Levi’s dissapointed look before everything dissapeard.

The light was annoyingly disrupting your slumber.

A groan left your lips, eyes still closed. Who opened your curtains? You always kept them close to prevent a thing like this from happening. As you tried to sit up on the bed, you couldn’t feel your forearms at all. That was weird.

“I see you woke up” Someone’s voice alerted you, and the sleepiness flew out the window.

Opening your eyes, you noticed Levi leaning against the wall in front of you. His face like stone, not a single emotion coming out of him. His storm grey eyes locked on yours, staring with an intensity that rose the hair in your neck.

Trying once more to get up you found yourself incapable. You looked at him in disbelief of his audacity.

“You fucking chopped my arms out!? What the actual fuck Levi!?” Indignation sparked in your chest, how dare he? You were planning on disappearing forever, finally letting the Survey Corps in peace.

“Was it all a lie?” The hurt in his voice stopped you mid-sentence, his words showed what his face didn’t, and it broke your soul a little bit more. 

You didn’t respond, your eyes downcast. He took a step towards you, leaving his spot at the wall. You could almost feel the warmth radiating from his body, and you tensed up at his proximity.

“I asked you a question... Was it all a lie cadet?”  He used his authority, the threat implied in his sentence. "(Y/N)… why?” 

“It scared me… " You whispered, looking up at his impassive face. “I don’t know how I got it, and I thought… I don’t know.” You tried to swallow the knot in your throat, but it was no use. The tears would fall soon if this conversation was to continue.

“So you don’t trust me?” He claimed, an eyebrow rising in questioning.

“Don’t be dumb.” You protested, there was no use in being formal and respectful with him at the moment. “I’ve followed your ass to death a thousand times. You know more about me than myself. I told you I was scared, you’re not in charge, if someone found out before Eren showed up I was going to be executed. Just look at what happened in the court room. ”

Exasperated, Levi uncrossed his arms, pinching the bridge of his nose, almost as if he was imploring for patience. His voice was clipped and harsh when he spoke again.

“You surely don’t trust me if you thought I would allow that dumbass. I would’ve ended whoever attempted to harm you.” 

 A breath hitching in your throat, surprise sucker punching you in the gut. But ten times more shocking than his confession was the fact of him circling you with his arms.

His hands found the back of your head, and he guided your head against his chest. The position was surely not comfortable for him, standing  next to the bed and leaning over, but still, he didn’t let go. His hand caressed your hair, and the tenderness of his touch made you cry again.  Levi’s grip on you tightened, and he stayed quiet, as you let all the stress and fear leave your body in the form of tears.

You wanted to hug him back so badly, but because of your lack of arms you couldn’t do it. Once the sobs stopped, he let go of your body. His eyes scanning your red eyes and wet cheeks. You wanted to wipe your tears, so he wouldn’t see them, but it was impossible at the moment, your hands still not regenerated.

“I’m sorry about your arms. But I couldn’t let you go away like that.” He sounded ashamed, which was a kind of out of character of him. Levi’s icy fingers caressed your cheeks, as he caught a stray droplet that was sliding down your face." Erwin wants to see you in his office, but I’ll take you there when your arms grow back… Would that make you feel safer?.”  He asked, concerned.

“Yeah… actually that would help.” Going face to face with the commander who you’ve been lying to for years, without a way of defending yourself was scary. 

“All right.” He conceded.

As if it was the most common thing in the world Levi moved the covers away and sat by my side. A blush crept up your neck at the close proximity.

“What are you doing!?”  You asked, flustered. Since when was the stoic captain so comfortable being in someone else’s personal space?

“Shut up. After everything that happened, the least you could do is let me rest. It’s been over 48 hours since I had a nap.” He laid down and pulled the covers up to our shoulders.  “I’ll be more at ease if I monitor you, just in case someone tries something funny… Unless you’re opposed to the idea?” His eyes bore into your own, making the temperature of the room rise a few degrees. What were you supposed to reply? Shaking your head no you settled next to him, looking at the roof as you tried to ignore Levi’s proximity, pleading your heart to slow down, afraid he might  hear it. 

“Good.” He answered, closing his eyes  “Oh, and (Y/n)… I’ll always have your back,  you can trust me so don’t lie to me again. Got it?” 

He turned around after that, his back now to you. 

Your heart sped up even more, and the feelings for Levi you tried to hide for such a long time resurfaced. And, no matter what his cold demanor was, at moments like this you could tell he cared for you too. 

You knew you’ll be all right if he was on your side. 

✘ Masterlist

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

I’ve mangled the start of this draft

116

Levi felt like shit. Eren had wanted to talk to him, but after spending the morning jogging with Erwin, he’d had enough free therapy. Erwin felt that they should go away. That he and Eren should lie low until this new mess could be investigated fully. Packing up their lives to live in some shit box wasn’t Levi’s idea of a smart plan. Who knew how long they’d be gone if they went? Or where they’d end up. With Hanji and Erwin they were likely to wind up back in Stohess in some equally shitty little house in the shitty suburbs where they’d have to hide their true identities even when it was time for Eren to give birth.

“Are you sure you’re okay with him going out with Armin?”

Crossing his arms, Levi didn’t want to hear it from Mike. His boyfriend had made him a fresh cup of tea and he’d been forced to ignore it thanks to his pissy alpha. He knew doing so would upset Eren, but his bloody stupid alpha had still had its nose out of joint because just that had happened

“Tch. He’s fine with Armin. Eren’s missed him, so leave them be. Our bigger problem is if Kenny is involved and the lengths he’d go to to keep his job”

Honestly he absolutely dreaded the idea of Kenny meeting Eren. Kenny wasn’t exactly normal, nor would he have an issue with ending Eren’s life should the need come up. Should he and Eren leave, it was possible they both be murdered before anyone else had an inkling something was wrong

“Is Kenny really that bad?”

“He’s bad enough. He’d slit a throat and think nothing of it. That little fucker certainly got himself caught up in one hell of a shit show”

Erwin cleared his throat

“Yes, well, I did hope to discuss things with Eren given Floch wasn’t forthcoming last night on his own accord. Has he spoken to you at length?”

No. He’d wanted to… His omega practically begged him with those big shitty eyes to sit down and talk things out

“No. If Floch isn’t going to cooperate I’d rather not put more pressure on Eren”

“Then what do you think we should do about Floch?”

Raising an eyebrow at his friend, Levi wasn’t sure he should be asked about that to do with that lump of walking shit. He’d found himself unable to do anything other than think rationally about the situation due to Eren. Swallowing hard, his alpha growled at his thought, not wanting to admit he wasn’t capable of handling things

“Honestly… Eren and I should be removed from these decisions. We both want Floch to face some form of formal punishment for his actions, but if you ask me what I’d like to do… well… there’s a whole lot of forest out there”

And a whole lot of ways to make sure Floch could never be identified… No. His idiot alpha was far too keen for Floch’s blood to be spilt for all he’d done

“I’ll keep that in mind as a last resort. For now we need to pick the path of least resistance. Ideally that’d mean having Eren have another go at Floch…”

“You can’t sit them down together”

Well… fuck. He’d gone and said it now. Erwin waiting for Levi to continue, though they all knew the outburst was his true feeling on the matter he still appreciated Erwin giving him a chance to cover himself

“I mean… Eren is strong enough for the interview, but… shit…”

He felt like he was betraying Eren. He knew how strong his brat was, yet couldn’t help but definitely not want Eren in front of Floch

“…”

He didn’t have a continuation. Erwin giving up on letting him dig his way out when he’d just gone and dug that hole deeper instead

“Are you telling me Eren isn’t in the right mental space to be questioning Floch?”

“It’s not that. What I would like is for Floch to take any commands off that may be in place, formally and recorded, but as for questioning Floch, I don’t feel Floch would be forthcoming if it was Eren. He’s half insane with his feelings about Eren, to the point he feels no remorse for hitting Eren in the stomach nor trying to bite him. Should Floch threaten Eren, he may not be able to keep his temper. Ideally we lay low until we can get in touch with the panel, then present both Floch and the taped conversations with him”

“Isn’t that going to anger Kenny?”

No shit. It wasn’t even a question worth discussing. Perhaps if he had been more open in the past with his team about his past then Eld wouldn’t be interrupting to ask something so stupid

“At this stage anything we do is going to cause a shitty fucking chain reaction. The only path Eren and I can take is the path that will leave us with the least regrets”

Erwin gave a slight nod. His friend had tried to understand what he was going through with Eren, but not having a mate of his own or having felt the pull of a compatible partner, Erwin couldn’t come close to imagining the way all the shitty “what if’s” had set in. The biggest thing hanging over them was the “what if” of Eren having another possible drop from the stress they were all under

“I’ve already suggested perhaps they’d be best leaving early. If you were to take Eren to Nedlay and work there with Pixis until we’ve contacted the panel…”

Bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, Levi felt a headache coming on. Erwin was supposed to be the brains of their operation. He should have been putting some form of strategy into place from the moment they’d gotten their hands on Floch. Stating the obvious, the alpha loathed their current situation when doing the right thing could bring Kenny to his doorstep, but if they backed off… If they backed off, then everything would have been for nothing. Everything Eren had worked so hard for had been turned into a joke by Floch. The shit had disrespected his omega, and had proved himself as slimy as turd. Without evidence Floch would find a way to slip through the hands of the panel, especially given they’d kidnapped him

“Even if we drop them in their laps, there’s no guarantee Floch will cooperate or that they will listen. What we need is more data on the Reiss and Reeves families that backs up Floch’s allegations”

Casting a glance towards the cabin window, Erwin felt his pockets for his keys as he did

“I’ve got a copy of the information our team’s pulled up on Floch in the back of my car. Eld, swap out with Gunther. See if you can get a dose of suppressants down Floch’s throat. We don’t need him going feral from his alpha. Levi, you’ll help me run through what we know, I want you to try and think back to when you were with Eren undercover and anything at all that might be related, no matter how small. Mike, I want you to go check on Eren and Armin. I’ll get those files. If we can’t use Eren to take a run at Floch, maybe there something there that’ll rattle him?”

The way Erwin spoke felt as if Levi had labelled Eren as useless. He felt like he’d betrayed his boyfriend, despite promising to always be on his side. This having a boyfriend thing was hard when both of them couldn’t act the way they wanted, harder still when Levi wasn’t sure he was prepared to ask Eren to go into hiding with him if they should need to. Armin and Mikasa were Eren’s real family, and the family he’d need of something went wrong with the pregnancy, as well as being the first two Eren would want to tell if everything went smoothly and they welcomed their little girl into the world without a hiccup. No longer could he make the kind of threats he’d used to, at least not in person while Eren was pregnant

“Use his family. Eren said that piece of shit was a Mumma’s boy… and on top of the shame of having a son like him, I doubt his father would appreciate this going to the press”

“Let’s save the press for now. If Historia is in danger we could tighten the noose around her neck. We’re better off trying to get her on our side, once we’ve analysed everything all over again”

Unless Erwin had a magical shitty fucking teleporter in that shit sedan of his, that would mean holding onto Floch for an indefinite amount of time…

“Tch. How the shit are we supposed to do that given where we fucking are?”

“I’ll do a run out tonight and call through to Petra. She’ll be able to discuss things further with Mikasa”

“Eren won’t be happy about dragging her in, even if she wants to help”

“Whether they like it or not, both she and Jean are already involved”

It was easy enough to imagine Mikasa had the remainder of their team already under her thumb

“That doesn’t mean we need to make shit worse for them. If you’re going out to call anyone, you should alert the panel and get the first available fucking audience with them. The whole point of bringing our families in is so they don’t wind up as collateral damage. Here we are, caught with our shitty thumbs up our arses thanks to fuck-knuckle wank stain. We’re all too personally involved now”

Shaking his head at him, Erwin knew he was right. This filthy cabin was no place for any of them. The longer they spent inside the less dirty the outside world seemed in comparison

“You know, typically people getting sex regularly aren’t as stressed as you are”

Levi could have hit him. Mike and Eld snorting as the alpha glared at his friend. Eren dropping again was nothing to joke about

“Right. Because now’s time to be fucking joking around. Eren’s already had one fucking drop, this could push him into a second, but by all means go ahead and talk about our sex life, just don’t blame me when you’re a dickless wonder and Mike’s feeding you through a tube for the rest of your life”

Erwin chuckled at his grumping giving Levi the feeling he would have reached out and ruffled his hair if the shit stain thought he could get away with it

“At least your sense of humour’s still intact”

“You’re the one who started it. Pop the trunk already, I want to be done with this cabin as soon as possible”

He’d told Erwin that both he and Eren were in agreement. That if something were to happen, then they’d leave without question seeing how intimately involved they were and knowing that as supportive as they were there was no way their friends could truly understand what it’d been like for both of them. Most of their shitty fucking jog had been Erwin prying into his relationship with Eren and how Eren was coping with this. Levi was loathe to admit that Eren really did seem to be coping better with this than he’d thought he would be. He was just as unhappy to admit that quietly part of him was jealous that Floch would always remain a festering wound for the both of them. For Levi it wasn’t enough to play Floch saying he was taking any commands off of Eren. He wanted the arsehole to sit there and to admit that he’d knowingly and vindictively fucked Eren over with what he’d done, and he wanted Eren to have that piece of mind knowing that Floch had absolutely no input into any of Eren’s actions or decisions.

[octoberobserver]

I recently had a dream about a plot for a fic where reddie get a duck from mike on their wedding day and the note makes it seem like it’s meaningful to their relationship and they spend their whole honeymoon trying to figure out what the deep meaning of this duck is and it turns out stan and bev dared mike to do it to fuck w/ them and when i woke up i immediately was like SOMEONE HAS TO WRITE THIS and i immediately thought of you! (literally u don’t have to it’s just funny how i thought of you)

Hi Nonnie! This *probably* isn’t what you had in mind, but I hope you like it anyway ^_^ ♥️

Your Love Life’s DOA (read on ao3)

“...a chick.” 

“Pretty sure it’s a cock, dude.”

“It’s a chicken, asswipe. Cocks are roosters.” 

“Huh. And here I thought cocks were—”

“Don’t,” Eddie Kaspbrak held up his hands, cutting Richie Tozier off mid-terrible-joke. 

Richie just smirked, his eyes alight in a way that never failed to make Eddie’s stomach swoop.

“Cock, chicken, whatever it is,” he waved dismissively with the hand not cradling the miniature poultry, “it’s cute as fuck.”  

Eddie stared at Richie staring down at the (probable) baby chicken, warmth spreading across his chest. 

He only basked in the feeling for .2 seconds however as the irritation he had felt this morning when he opened the door to go grab their mail and nearly stomped on the little feather-ball, made a swift resurgence. 

“But why the fuck was it outside our door?”

“...”

“Richie.”

“...”

“Rich.” 

“...”

“Trashmouth!” 

Richie’s head snapped up from where he had been gazing down at the chick that looked comically small in his ridiculously large hand. 

Eddie’s treacherous stomach did an impressive (if annoying) front handspring. 

“I don’t know, Eds. Maybe it was meant for the butcher shop down the street. Or a petting zoo,” he tilted his head, looking pensive, “maybe it’s Erica Delaney getting her sweet revenge on me after I broke our egg-son in the first five minutes of class. Or it’s the chicken god’s gift to us to raise in his image, fucked if I know. All I do know is,” he shrugged, gently, with one shoulder as to not jostle the chirping baby bird, “we're definitely keeping it.” 

Eddie blinked.

“We can’t keep a chicken in the apartment, Richie.”

Richie’s eyebrows raised halfway up his expansive forehead.

“Why not? I own the building, and I say it’s all good for lil Chick-Fil-A to stay.”

“We’re not naming it after a homophobic chicken restaurant, dickwad.” 

A slow smile spread across Richie’s face that had Eddie’s pulse simultaneously racing and screeching to a halt. 

“...But we are keeping it?”

Fuck.

~*~

“Chicken Little?”

“No.”

“Chicken Run.”

“What?”

“Chick Flick.”

“Hell no.”

“Oh! Wait! I got it - Chicken Carbonara! Carbs for short.” 

“You’re an idiot.” 

“I agree,” Stanley Uris piped up as he meandered his way over to where Eddie and Richie (baby chick loudly making her presence known in his shirt pocket) were arguing at the sink, glass in hand, topping up Patty’s Merlot.

“You don’t have a horse in this race, Staniel,” Richie dismissed his input, gently running a finger over the chick’s fuzzy head, adopting a sickening sweet baby voice, “Isn’t that right, Carbs? Uncle Stan the Man wouldn’t know a good nickname if it kicked him in the face.” 

“Coming from the man called ‘Trashmouth.’” 

“Eds gave me that name, so blame him,” Richie quirked an eyebrow, elbowing the man in question. 

Eddie’s Chardonnay tipped dangerously close to the rim of the glass. 

Richie ignored his murderous glare. 

“Now all we need,” Richie beamed with pride as ‘Carbs’ gave another loud chirp from her cloth perch, “...is a duck.” 

Eddie winced, “You need to stop binge-watching Friends, Rich. Who are we, Joey and Chandler?” 

“Dibs on Chandler!”

Eddie rolled his eyes, gesturing up and down at Richie. 

“Well duh.” 

Richie merely smirked, tilting his head at him, “You’re definitely more of a Monica than a Joey, though.” 

“So in this scenario, you two are married?”

Both Eddie and Richie whirled around to blink at Stan who had attracted the attention of the rest of the Losers, each now awaiting some sort of response with rising interest. 

Eddie refused to give one. 

He also refused to look at Richie not give one. 

“Ooh we’re playing the Which Friends Character Are You game, huh?” Richie asked, stepping around Stan, eyes still focussed on the chick. 

Stan rolled his eyes, “There’s eight of us, it doesn’t work.” 

“Spoken like a true Ross.” 

Stan shook his head and sighed.

Like the Ross he was.

“Alright, I’m game,” Bev piped up, raising her glass from across the room, her eyes glinting at Richie. 

“Do your worst, Trashmouth.�� 

Richie smirked, clearly tickled by the challenge. 

“Alright, Marsh,” he cleared his throat, beginning to pace the room like Columbo at the end of every episode, where he explained how he solved the whole damn case with nothing but a moved potted plant, “You’re Phoebe obviously, because you’re a fiery but lovable enigma who’s cooler than all of us combined.”

Bev chuckled, “Damn straight.”

“Haystack here,” Richie whirled around, cradling Carbs to his chest in one hand and pointing with the other, “is our Joey for his actor good-looks and lovable nature.” 

Ben sank down into the couch next to Bev, picking up her socked-feet and rubbing them, “I’ll take it.” 

Bev grinned, “I did always think Joey and Phoebe should’ve got together. Although Paul Rudd was great.”

“Which leads me to,” Richie turned to his left, smirking.

“Oh no,” Mike held up his hands, “count me out. Black people weren’t even a thing on Friends until like season 9 or whatever so—”

“Oh yeah, the diversity sucks ass Mikey, no one’s disputing that,” Richie agreed with a nod, “but hear me out. You’re Mike, Mike! A sexy, African-American Paul Rudd. Think about it...you may come in late in the game but you win everyone over instantly with your good looks, nerdy charm and wicked air-piano skills! Just like you did with the Losers Club!” 

Mike blinked, amused.

Stan tilted his head.

“I don’t think that’s exactly—”

“Same with Patty!” 

Richie cut Stan off, clearly on a roll, whirling around to point at his wife.

“It feels like she’s always been with us, right?” he asked the group at large, smile pleased when everyone nods in agreement, Bev winding an arm around her from where she was perched on the arm of the couch, causing Patty to flush and grin behind her wine glass at the compliment. 

“And you know who was always with the Friends? Always there, like an honorary 7th member? Or 8th in this case?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, not quite believing he was going to participate in this.

“Gunther.” 

Richie winked, “Gold star for Kaspbrak.” 

“She does make a mean Cappuccino,” Stan mumbled almost absentmindedly as Patty gave her charming snort-laugh, letting her head rest against her husband’s shoulder as he stood next to the couch. 

“Which leaves…”

Richie slowly turned on the spot, like the dramatic bastard he was. 

“Congrats, Bill. You’re Rachel. Our Jen Aniston. People are gonna start copying your hairstyle soon.” 

Bill chuckled, “Yeah, don’t think ‘The Bill’ has quite the same ring to it, Rich.” 

Richie gave a dismissive wave. 

“It’ll catch on. Then you’ll become a mega movie star and forget the rest of us exist. Except for Eddie, of course.”

Bill frowned.

“Why just Eddie?”

Richie threw him an exasperated look.

“Because he’s Monica! Courteney Cox. Best friend of Jen to this day. Duh.” 

“So you two are married, then?”��

Eddie felt his throat tighten as Richie squared his shoulders at Stanley, gently putting Carbs in her bed before huffing out a laugh.

“Nah man, we’re still in the friends-who-help-friends-give-their-dates-orgasms-in-seven-steps, stage.” 

Stan rolled his eyes.

“Right.” 

Eddie watched as the two friends stared at one another, a weird tension draping over them.

And in true Phoebe-style, Bev broke it.

“Hey, who wants to hear my Smelly Cat rendition?” 

Richie’s analysis was flawed, of course. Bill didn’t know jack about fashion (that was Bev), Ben built stages not performed on them, Stan actually loved, cherished and respected his partner, Patty wasn’t desperately in unrequited love with Bill (that was Mike, though it was requited), Mike wasn’t married to Bev (that was Ben) and Bev…

Well.

Bev was spot on, actually. A riddle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in mystery, all while being simultaneously cool and lovable. 

And Eddie?

He was Monica Geller and proud of it, dammit.

A damn shame Courteney never got the Emmy-nom, in his opinion. 

As for Richie?

Richie wasn’t Chandler Bing. Chandler Bing was Richie Tozier.

“If only they had let Chandler be gay,” Richie sighed wistfully as Eddie closed the door, waving off the last of their guests, Bill and Mike as they hopped in an Uber headed for Casa Denbrough. 

“Why? So you could fuck Ben instead?” 

Eddie knew how his voice sounded as he slowly leaned back against the door, reaching out to pull Richie towards him by his collar, crashing their lips together in a bruising kiss that he had ached for all night. 

Richie gasped into his mouth, his hands roaming Eddie’s body like a hyperactive octopus, pressing him back against the door and rolling his bottom lip between his teeth.

Eddie groaned, breaking the kiss, staring up at his best-friend-turned-secret-boyfriend. 

“So, when do we tell them we hooked up at Ben and Bev’s wedding?” 

Richie chuckled, leaning down and pressing his lips against Eddie’s neck, right over the spot he knew drove him crazy, breathing hot against his skin. 

“Not until I ask Bill for his eyelash curler and Ben figures us out. Duh.”

~*~

They really should have been all fucked out after three weeks of eating, drinking, sleeping and sex-ing in Barbados, and yet, as soon as they got back to their apartment, they christened their old bed, their leaking shower and the living room floor because they just couldn’t get enough of each other.

Married.

They were fucking married.

Husbands. 

Legally bound.

Til death—

No, not even death could stop them. They proved that already.

“You’re heavy,” Eddie groaned, his chest vibrating under where Richie had his face squished against it. 

“It’s all the Barbadian food, dude. S’gone straight to my thighs.”

Eddie brushed his hand along said thigh, squeezing roughly.

“Hmm. I like your thighs.” 

“I like you.”

“You better. You’re kinda stuck with me now.”

Richie lifted his head off Eddie’s sweaty chest, smiling softly, interlocking their left hands, pressing their rings together. 

“Guess my love life isn’t D.O.A anymore, huh.” 

Eddie groaned, and not in the sexy way he had been five minutes before. 

“Those Friends references grew old in the nineties, dude. Stop.”  

Richie pecked at his lips, letting out a sound of disagreement. 

“I’ll have you know, Eds, I—”

The unmistakable sound of a knock echoed throughout the apartment. 

They blinked at one another.

“Who the fuck is that? No one knows we’re home yet.”

The post-Honeymoon-fuck had come (heh) above all - including texting the group chat that they had made it back safely onto California soil. 

Marriage had made them selfish like that.

Eddie shrugged, “I don’t know. Could be Rosa dropping off Carbs. I did tell her we’d be back today, and she might have like...sensed us. You know what she’s like.”

Rosa was their downstairs neighbour, a lovable, elderly woman who seemed to have had a sixth sense for everything Richie and Eddie-related even before they had become a couple, often calling them out for the pining bullshit before they got their act together, got tipsy at Benverly’s wedding and jumped each other. 

Or as Richie put it once - “She high-key ships us, man. Wants us to bone it out.” 

To this day, Eddie had no idea what that meant. 

Another knock came, this one louder.

“Alright, I’m coming,” Eddie called out, pushing a whining Richie off his chest before he could make the obvious joke and forcing himself to sit up, grimacing as the sheet stuck to his back. 

He’d have to be the one to answer. No way he was unleashing a half-naked Richie onto Mrs Hernandez. 

Eddie actually had the decency to pull on sweatpants and an old Trashmouth-tee before padding to the door.

He knew his husband did not.

Husband.

Eddie smiled to himself, his stomach doing its usual somersaults that he knew would never fully disappear. 

Richie Tozier, his lifelong best friend, was now his husband too. 

Crazy. 

“Sorry Rosa, we were—”

His incredibly made-up-on-the-spot excuse died on his lips as he opened the front door to reveal - nothing. 

Frowning, Eddie stared into the empty air, turning his head to glance down the very vacant hallway.

And then, he heard it.

Quack! 

“Oh, not again.” 

“Duck!” 

Richie said it like fuck.

Like he had been human-autocorrected.

“Yes, Richie, I see that,” Eddie sighed at his husband who had appeared over his shoulder, still shirtless, staring down at the baby duck sitting pretty in a box, much like Carbs had two years before.

“We’re not naming him Daffy,” Eddie grumbled, bending down to gently pick up the box, cradling the duckling against his chest and kicking the door shut.

Richie opened his mouth.

“Or Donald.” 

Richie closed his mouth. 

One quack called Donald was enough. 

“We’ll brainstorm,” Richie grinned, leaning down and capturing Eddie’s lips, before softly patting the new addition to their family on the head.

They’d find the note later. The one that read, 

To Chandler and Monica, 

You two were the last to find out.

Not Stan. 

Here’s a brother for Carbs.

We left her with you as a prank, for Richie’s Friends obsession, but you became the best dads ever instead. You’ll do it again. 

Just don’t get them stuck in the Foosball Table. 

~The Losers