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idontblushsrry · 3 years

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How the Jujutsu Kaisen Characters Smell

A/N: Absolutely no one asked for this but I have thoughts and now yall have to hear them. Btw gonna put a keep reading because I’m trying to cover as many jjk characters as possible so it’s gonna get long.

Warnings: Spoilers if you’ve only seen the anime or haven’t read the manga up to the Shibuya Arc (relatively minor but you’ve been warned)

Itadori

He’s nowhere near the best smelling but his scent isn’t awful

He sweats a lot so he takes showers a minimum of 2x a day

Overall his smell isn’t that bad, he just smells like outside

5/10 points for effort but he always smells like he just got done rolling around in grass

Fushiguro

Fushiguro smells like the suave ocean breeze body wash with an undertone of pen ink

His smell is very nice, it’s not the most remarkable but it’s not stinky

Middle school Megumi was definitely a hot mess that smelled solely of axe body spray and other middle schoolers he beat up (Tsumiki tried her best but there was only so much he’d compromise on)

After he started attending the Tokyo school, Maki threw out his axe and made Gojo buy him actual cologne/scented body wash

7/10 smells like a friend (points reduced because he used to use 3 in 1 body wash)

Kugisaki

Kugisaki is very much clean

She keeps up a beauty regimen and doesn’t play when it comes to upkeeping it

She has this light floral scent because of that; it varies between cucumbers and roses

Her body wash is also consistent with the smell of her beauty products

One thing about Kugisaki’s smell is that it does change completely depending on what products she’s using

Although, if she were to be completely clean with no scented products, she’d have a smell that’s a little bit metallic because of the nails and a little pumpkin-y

10/10 points because she sets the standard

Gojo

Smells like the inside of a guys car

He smells like bergamot and cedarwood mixed with a hint of leather

Overall he smells nice and it’s frustrating because his scent lingers. It’s so distinct that even when he’s gone, his scent will stay behind just to taunt you

9/10 minus one point for being Gojo

Maki

She’s very particular about hygiene

It mainly stems from 1) her upbringing and 2) the level of cleanliness needed to clean all the weapons she uses regularly

She smells of metal polish, lavender with a hint of patchouli, and a slight undertone of rust

10/10 overall very strong scent but it’s so uniquely her that it’s calming

Inumaki

This makes no sense but I feel like Inumaki smells like the sandwich part of a deli

Specifically that fresh baked bread and sliced lettuce smell

It can be a bit nostalgic at times especially because the smell in general occurs in a lot of places

10/10 because bread smells good

Panda

It’s canon that Panda smells like the sun but we can get more specific

Panda does smell like the sun but I think he smells like a freshly cleaned room with the curtains open

The smell is like air freshener mixed with the sun

The air fresheners he smells the most like are: morning and dew, wood, pine, pet odor eliminator

10/10 no explanation needed

Yuta

Smells like teen spirit

Pre-jujutsu high (and before he was sent away to Africa); Yuta smelled like deodorant

He smelled like wayyy too much old spice, it was pretty bad

Post trip to Africa (idk which country he went to), Yuta smells of shea butter, frankincense, and charred wood

8/10 the crimes of pre jujutsu high Yuta will not be easily forgiven

Nanami

He smells like the blue Ralph Polo Lauren cologne

No I will not take criticism

He also smells a bit like the wrinkle spray people use when ironing clothes

10/10 we been knew that Nanami looks good, smells good, and dresses good

I don’t even like that cologne but for him...

Shoko

Love Shoko but her smell isn’t the most pleasant

Literally smells like cigarettes and alcohol with the sterile smell of cleaner to top it off

She’s an icon but her smell can be overwhelming at the best of times and suffocating at the worst

5/10 some people might like it but it is not for me

Utahime

Her scent is very foresty, either pine or spruce, with an undertone of gree tea

Her scent is a bit muted too so you can only really smell it if she’s really close or if you’re hugging her

It’s not a bad scent though, it’s the type that immediately sets you on ease

10/10 smells like a warm hug

Mechamaru(spoilers)

He’s a robot what’d you expect???

Jkjk Pre-Shibuya he smells really sterile and clean due to his condition

His robots obviously smell like metal and wiring

Post-Shibuya arc(or yk during technically): He smells kind of like nothing

There's the slightest smell of sparks from his cursed technique and the hint of mojito’s smell lingering, but otherwise he smells like absolutely nothing

6/10 the lack of smell is a bit off putting

Miwa

I can’t explain but I feel like Miwa smells like banana and vanilla

Like Mai and Momo tricked her and she ended up actually liking the smell

6/10 not the worst but not the best

Mai

Mai smells really heavily of metal and gunpowder

Obviously brcause of her cursed technique but she ever expected it to stck to her like it does

She doesn’t make any active effort to change it though because she thinks it makes her seem cool and mysterious

4/10 because while it DOES make her seem cool and mysterious, she scares locals

Momo

She definitely uses bath and body works perfume (tempted to say she uses the glittery versions but alas)

She loves using all the candles, lotions, and perfumes because of how girly they make her feel; has a collection that’s probably on a rotater

Definitely uses sweet pea above all

Tries to get Mai to try some of her fragrances but she has a 30/70 chance of getting her to agree

7/10 another scent that’s not for me

Todo

He has a really intense cleaning regimen and is never caught lackin in the smell department

He gets all the more embarrassed when Yuuji smells stinky next to him and will always make Yuuji shower if thr boy stinks

Other than that, he smelled of an ocean-y cologne before Takada-chan released her perfume collection

Now all he talks about is how he smells like the perfect husband for Takada

Takada’s perfume is really light a floral (along the lines of rose + vanilla) and if Todo runs out, he tries to steal it from Momo’s collection

9/10 minus a point for being a simp

Noritoshi

Smells really clean except for when he’s using his cursed technique

On average, Noritoshi smells like the clean linen spray/ clean laundry

When he uses his technique, he smells like blood and when he uses his technique to “dope”, he smells like sweat

Usually he smells like clean laundry though, he’s very picky about how he smells and hates the smell he gets from using his technique

10/10 for keeping clean

Naoya

If you think this man washes his ass...

Sorry but he’s a little too busy being a misogynist

Naoya saw the term gooch grease and was like “wow someone gets it!”

-400/10 I’m sick of talking about the ways this man smells like a popped neck pimple

Mahito

Only person that smells worse than Naoya

If Naoya smells like a popped neck pimple, Mahito smells like a literal sewer

He smells like sewage, garbage, rot and decay, melted plastic,etc.

Not only does Mojito’s body stink, his breath stinks, hair stinks, just everything stinks

Jogo and Hanami can’t tell since they don’t have noses but everytime Geto gets a whiff, he dies a little inside

-21982913293237932392379319210391090320323019/10 GET BACK. GET BACK. GET BACK.

Sukuna

Pre-death; he smelled like blood 9 times out of 10

The other 10% of times he smelled like incense or jasmine but you’d never smell it for long

Post-death; stinky funky and rotten

I’m sorry but 1) he’s a mass murder who literally sits atop a mountain of skulls 2) he’s technically dead and only exists thriugh his fingers

If you think that man smells like anything other than rot and grave wax...

-2/10 be glad he got a higher score than Mahito

Choso

I love Choso with every ounce of my being

That being said, he smells like a scab

Scabs don’t even have smells but somehow he smells like one

Alright I’m done slandering him

3/10 because I didn’t have the heart to give him anything lower

Geto(spoilers)

Pre-Gojo angst: Geto was the best smelling sorcerer in the world

He was very meticulous about his grooming routine and showed Gojo how to care for himself w/o the aid of servants

A king of self care and personal grooming 10/10

Post-Gojo angst: Geto really stopped caring about his appearance

He’d keep clean to set a good example for his kids, but he didn’t really see the value of looking decent

Probably says “I refuse to use the technology of monkeys”

Even though Mahito smells worse, Geto does still hang around Mahito and that’s gonna rub off

2/10 take a shower man, sea water doesn’t count as cleaning yourself

Junpei

Junpei smells like dandelions/picked grass and cigarettes

Cigarettes are obviously because his mom smokes them so frequently the smell sticks to him

The dandelions/ picked grass smell is because Junpei spends a lot of time outside

Out of boredom or a need to keep his negative thoughts at bay, Junpei started picking at the grass

I do think he eventually started weaving flower crowns made of dandelions and strips of grass

6/10 because I feel bad for him

Toji

This man...

As much as I’d like to pretend he smells good, he has a drooling worm hanging off him and probably owns like one outfit

That being said, he’s not as stinky as Naoya or Mahito (or even Sukuna), because he does clean himself when he has the chance

It’s just that he spends his money so quickly that he kinda forgets sometimes

Although he usually has no problem finding some woman who’d be more than willing to put him up in a hotel room

His smell is musky but it’s not funky

He smells like a guy right before they start to get stinky, it’s a delicate balance

4/10 he’s a lil funky but it kinda feeds his image

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parkersharthook-ficrecs · 4 years

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Harry Potter Fic Recs

check out my bookmarks on ao3 and my reading list on wattpad (both @parkersharthook) for more!

Last Updated: 8/9/21

~.~

Wolfstar (Sirius Black x Remus Lupin)

Sweater Weather by lumosinlove

Coast to Coast* (spin off)

That’s the Art of Getting By by sarewolf

All the Young Dudes by mskingbean89

No Mum, He Really Is My Boyfriend by showmeyourtardis

Text Talk by merlywhirls

There’s Beauty In Your Scars by maryslovergirl

How Remus met Sirius by sheslytherin

Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott

Sugar and Spice* by InLoveWithForever

& Everything Nice* (sequel)

New Romantics* by msmerlin

The Flatmate* by mayghaen17

Hermione Granger/Neville Longbottom

How You’re the Light Over Me* by scullymurphy

Neville Longbottom and the Truly Terrible Tasting Tea* by muskoxen

Safe Word is Devil’s Snare* by ShayaLonnie

George Weasley

Junoesque by LuLuOnFire

March To The Sea by totsbreaux12

The Haunting of Judith Wagner by kmbell92

Astridnaut by sinfulsarcasm

Thantophobia by TheUnknownBrokenGirl

Disgrace by GGreen03

Fred Weasley

Golden Boy* by boyifyouknew

Tightly Knit by kmbell92

Gunpowder & Cinnamon (sequel)

Ethereal by LuLuOnFire

Intoxicating by dottydot0305

Delia by -Bellerose-

Black Rose by theweirdchic

A Charming Fairy Godprince by NiteFang

Methods by citrusorgans

Falling Through Time by wittyhistorian (time turner fic)

don't you know you've got the best of me? by raquians

#harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #hermione granger #draco malfoy #theodore nott #neville longbottom #george weasley #fred weasley #wolfstar #hermione/neville #hermione/draco/theodore #smut #hp #my compilation #time turner

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spacemilkies · 4 years

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turkish delight

“some of my best memories are of food. perhaps they can become yours too.” —eleazar “lazar” azoulay x bell

or lazar takes bell on a culinary adventure to help discover herself.

a/n: looking forward to a year of plentiful muse and inspiration to write again.

you expected death to be darkness. perhaps only broken with occasional wisps of flames and the stench of brimstone. regardless of ones faith, the imagination created the greatest wonders and nightmares of the unknown.

what you didn’t anticipate was the smell of sea salt and something aromatically woodsy in fragrance.

it’s what billows under your body, slowly bringing to the rise of clarity. but rather than understanding, you’re met with a sharp pang in your chest.

with a harsh gasp, you immediately try to curl in on yourself, the action worsening the pain as you tremble in the aftershocks. the pleasant scent you’d been chasing is lost the the crackle of gunfire and the deafening roar of the cliffside waters below. the splintered fragments of one of your last memories- an authentic recollection- was of russell adler shooting you point blank.

your measly records, mostly fabricated as they were, didn’t lie about your skill set. you were quick to react at the slightest hint of danger. but it wasn’t fast enough.

frankly, what would you have done, had the shot connected with its intended target?

you, a broken soviet contact turnjacket versus a man with medals that could have spanned the walls of whatever dark corner cell they would have thrown you in. perhaps adler’s methods, though unsanctioned, were ideal. and could have saved you a great deal of turmoil had it actually finished the job.

“hey … careful with those stitches. i may be a good cook but those are where my talents cut off. but i did what i could.”

the voice though alarmed, took great care not to raise to the volume it could have. it was comforting. meeting it’s well intended goal as the hair at your nape slowly fell with recognition. you knew that voice.

more importantly what accompanied it.

the rapid returning uptick of your heartbeat had to be audible as it rapped against your ribcage. from what you could tell, no part of you was presently restrained but that didn’t mean you weren’t detained. adler did not complete his objective, but you weren’t an end that could remain loose.

and if death was his last resort. you weren’t keen on waiting to find out what came after.

“relax, mami*. you are safe.”

then in an odd form of constraints, two large hands cupped your cheeks rather than constrict around your wrist. your own hands paused minutely just short of his neck where you could still very easily bring them up and squeeze. however, as your vision finally cleared, all you were left to do was stare up at the face of eleazar azoulay.

lazar.

his skin still wore some of the worst of both havana and solovsky; a stretch of abrasions and scratches that would take time to heal. ones that he should have all the time in the world to allow them to as he basked in the afterglow of victory. not hide them in a minimalistic room. the walls too thin and surrounding noises too close in reach to be considered a home. wherever he brought you was somewhere closer to civilization than you had been in berlin.

“lazar.” came your first reply since seemingly returning from the dead. a simple word ready to burst at the seams from all the emotions thrashing around inside you.

you could feel his answering chuckle, breathless but lacking any real humor. but relief was there. solace in the fact that you’d remembered. after weeks of making you think that everything was as it should be.

though instead of rising to the anger, you sagged in defeat.

“...lazar.”

because that was all you could manage.

lazar.

not adler.

pools of dark brown shined with something you couldn’t quite comprehend as his thumbs rubbed warmth into the swell of your cheeks. you wondered how cold you must be for him to feel so inviting.

“life for a life, my friend. i only wish i could have been sooner.”

though you doubted much would have changed. adler was not a man that could be reasoned with and in comparison, lazar lacked the authority to challenge. still you wondered what it might have looked like, a knight in bloodied clothing coming to your rescue.

you probably would have shot him too.

all of them for pulling you through living hell. and not even having the audacity to let you earn the scorch marks as yourself. even now across the finish line, you weren’t sure who crossed the threshold.

lazar spoke in the absence of your speech. “we’re far from solovetsky. back in another safehouse of mine. somewhat better than the last, i suppose. i almost forgot it was here.” he’s delaying the inevitable. adding verbosity to a mission brief when he should have been listing the cold facts. yet you didn’t mind as you found yourself sinking back into the stiff mattress with each continued stroke of his calloused fingers.

“we’re in nice. cleared, of course.”

right. because asking him to run away with you would have been more than your ledger could account for.

his thumbs pause as his face hardens in preparation of his next words,” it was a clean shot, through and through. just missed your heart. though it may have nicked a rib.“ his tongue darts out to wet his lips, an action you follow in dazed silence. “... adler. he gave you nine days to recover before you’re to present before the board. we’re six days out now.”

adler.

six days.

board.

stacked on top of each other, they made for a formidable tower of your greatest fears. all ready to topple down at any moment. lazar had saved you, yes, but in order to subject you to what?

the firmness of his grip brought you back to attention as your cheeks pursed. “but we still have time to address that. for now you rest.”

even in the chaos of your mind, you agreed that he was right. you would need all your strength to face the music awaiting you in the near future.

finally his hands drew away and you licked your own lips, catching the faint taste of gunpowder against the cracked ridges.

first rest.

“and then?”

you wished you could package that grin. tuck it away and only unwrap it when the worst of the world came against you. it was a smile that nudged away the encroaching darkness at the recesses of your mind and left behind a gentle glow.

“then we eat. i’m making shawarma.”

in hindsight, perhaps graciously seasoned meat still glistened with oil was the last thing you should have put on an empty stomach. but this was the aroma that had brought you back from the dead, it was unlikely to make your grave.

you could taste all the ingredients you’d managed to piece together prior and something more. a strong blend that you couldn’t decipher without help.

“what spice is this?”

already well into his second helping, lazar rose to the hidden compliment. “spices. za'atar. its a blend of sumac, marjoram, sesame seeds and a few other things my savta* covets as a family secret. it’s good, no?”

it was. very good. and if stuffing more down your throat wouldn’t result in an unfortunate reappearance less than an hour later, you might have welcomed more.

“i didn’t know you could cook so well.”

eating, you knew he did very well. despite the drab and outskirt safehouse in west berlin, lazar never failed to have some sort of food stashed away- rarely any of them the rations you might have expected. that and his assortment of food related clothing choices made him look like quite the connoisseur.

“growing up with a family like mine meant learning fast or you didn’t eat. every hand was there to aid in the kitchens.”

your family had- well, adler’s injections of vividly colored memories had not only not skipped over that aspect of your finely threaded life but also managed to weigh down on the scraps of what could have been your actual recollections. right now you couldn’t even picture what your household looked like. if it was full or lacking. did you wake up every morning to the smell of pancakes or did you make your own bowl of cereal alone at the table?

adler had managed to rip away such an intimate part of you. distant echos of what you were before everything.

lazar’s brow rose as your chewing slowed. “i can’t right my wrongs. neither can anyone. we all dealt with the hand we were given. those some more poorly than others. but you have more people on your side than you think. “

you immediately think of woods and mason. two figures who’d been more receptive to your skill set than your past. maybe sims to, if he shared the same sentiments through his friendship with lazar.

park.

would you even be in this outcome had you chosen differently in havana?

it had been a split decision in the heat of the moment, relied purely on proximity above all else. it made sense to reach for the closet body for extraction first. but you thought-

it hardly mattered now.

you pushed your half eaten plate to the center of the table, hoping to end both the meal and conversation.

rest first, then eat.

hopefully you could rest a little more before everything started to blur again.

accepting the silence yet again, lazar nods as he brings your plate closer to polish off the remains, content to let you fall back into the abyss of your mind. as your gaze drifts to the rapidly clearing plate , you found yourself wondering what pleasant smells would wake you tomorrow.

#cod cold war #bell cod #eleazar azoulay #lazar cod #bell x lazar #russell adler

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justastoryteller · 3 years

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A list of what I think Minecraft potion ingredients taste like, because potions remain my favorite part of the game:

Nether Wart: this one was trickiest, but it’s the most important to brewing any potion, so...have you ever had a fruit, or more accurately a jam made from a fruit that’s just....not right? It’s not rotten or anything, perhaps closer to overripe, if anything, but it’s wrong. It tastes barely like the idea of a fruit, and it’s nice and thick like a jam, but without enough flavor--the disappointing ghost of what should have been delicious. The brewing process cooks most of the weird taste away, but the weirdness remains; you can always tell an awkward potion from plain water.

Gunpowder: I mean it’s an ingredient, but it’s gunpowder. It tastes like gunpowder.

Redstone dust: Anytime this is added to a potion, it gives an aftertaste like licking a battery. It’s not necessarily bad, but you can definitely tell if the potion was lengthened.

Glowstone dust: Like with redstone, it’s more of an aftertaste/feeling, but it’s a lot like the sensation of downing a pixie stick, though more acidic than sweet.

Spider Eyes: They’re downright poisonous on their own, so if you want to munch one raw, know that it will be very gooey and very gross. Once they’re fermented with mushroom and sugar, though, they kind of make everything taste like a mediocre kombucha.

Sugar: Self-explanatory.

Rabbit’s Foot: ....tastes like rabbit meat, idk what to tell you

Blaze Powder: Hot pepper spice all the way, but definitely more burn than flavor. If you add it to your food like it’s actual pepper, you’re insane.

Glistering Melon: The best goddamn melon you’ve ever tasted. Healing potions should be everyone’s favorite drink.

Ghast Tear: Like sulfur and salt. Regen potions are great but you can’t tell me the tears of a giant shrieking tentacled head taste good.

Magma Cream: Imagine drinking straight barbecue sauce. Now take away all the flavor, leaving just the empty spice, smoke, and texture. Not pleasant.

Pufferfish: ...tastes like fish. Little bit of a tingle on the tongue, but like the rest of the toxic ingredients, the brewing process takes away the actual poison.

Golden Carrot: Like the glistering melon, this is the best carrot you’ve ever tasted. You didn’t even know carrots could taste this good.

Turtle Shell: I imagine this is kind of a bone broth-y situation. Very hearty.

Phantom Membrane: It doesn’t actually taste like much but it does coat your tongue for a while afterward with a weird chalky/gummy feeling.

#i care about one thing in this game can you tell #minecraft #sorry for this but not really sorry. i think about this a lot.

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mateasha · 4 years

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rendevous 18.6y

summary: chikage shows up at the front door of MANKAI after disappearing from the face of the Earth for 3 years. itaru is not happy. fandom: a3 pairing: chikage x itaru word count: 4716 tags: original characters for the sake of plot, friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, flashbacks, mentions of death, bad attempts at action, bad attempts at comedy chapter 3: work Itaru is unhappy. There’s a lot of things he could be doing right now, and he did not expect one of things he chose to do is to be outside in a bar today. With a lot of people. The things he does for money and food. People might call him a glutton, but he would say he just knows how to play his cards right, he thinks to himself as he slides his phone out of his pocket to play a mobile version of KniRoun— which is more just tapping on the screen really fast to kill enemies.

The bar is decently big, 13 of them seated around a booth, Sakyo, Izumi, Tsumugi, Tasuku, Azuma, Chikage, Kazunari, Omi, Guy, Citron, Tsuzuru, and Homare. 12 excluding Itaru who isn’t really mentally there. But at least he’s there, with a tiny piece of comfort to get him through this arduous time. Arduous to him at least.

The atmosphere is warm, with a sense of familiarity to it, the yellow lights making everyone look a bit more tan than they actually are. They’ve gone to a different bar this time, one that Chikage recommended (of course) and he won’t lie: this place has good food.

Not that he’s doubting Chikage’s tastes— which he obviously can and will do, with his no taste buds no spice receptor having ass, but he’s doubting Chikage’s tastes, as he watches him sprinkle nanami that he had in his bag all over his side dish. Everyone is slowly sipping on their respective alcohol, Itaru with some fruity drink that he hasn’t touched a bit, as he takes out his phone just to inspect the time.

Everyone is having their tiny bit of banter, especially with Chikage as he talks to them with an almost smile on his face, each of them going around, asking questions about whatever he’s doing. He’s not surprised that the conversations Chikage is conducting are not turning into shouting matches, as he’d expect.

“Chikage! It hasn’t been a long time since I’ve seen you!” Homare shouts, almost alerting the entire bar to whatever their business is.

“Ah, yes. It’s been only a couple days, hm?” Chikage takes a bite of his tataki, savoring the taste a bit before he takes a sip of his weird craft beer that he knows how to pronounce for whatever reason.

“Couple days? Chikage, you’ve been around?” Tsumugi is slowly getting more and more roped into whatever conversation they’re having. Itaru is suddenly intrigued, his ears almost perking up like a cat’s, but not physically.”

“Yeah. I wanted to come around. The graveyard.” He gets a bit somber thinking about it, but still keeps up the slightly cheery demeanor. “It’s nice there.”

“It is.” Izumi chips in.

“We chose it. Without you.” Itaru glares at Chikage from across the table, finally taking a sip of this damn drink that they called the One Night Stand. Lame name, he thinks, as he takes in another sip, feeling the coldness of the strawberry liqueur down his throat.

“Yeah… I know.” Chikage quickly changes the topic to something else, Itaru left behind to think as he slowly takes more of the fruity cocktail into his system. It’s hard to hear them over the sound of everyone else but it’s nice. It feels familiar. Like nothing’s changed. But he knows that things have changed. For some reason, everyone seems happy to see him. Him included— but he’d never say that. Itaru is happy. Sort of.

It’s a dilemma to miss someone so much that you feel your heart ache and twist but also hate them for leaving. It’ll go down in the textbooks maybe, a textbook example of a dilemma, but he hates it, this feeling of having to choose his emotions— when usually they would pick themselves, like most of the time. On one hand, Itaru is glad— maybe even overjoyed that he’s alive, but on the other, he’s angry that he’s alive and didn’t even tell him anything. He just left.

But now is not the time to self loathe, as he gets out of the booth. “I’m going to the bathroom.” He quickly pockets his phone with the game still running into his standard jacket, unsure if Chikage caught it— which he probably did, but he doesn’t expect much from him, at least in the court of actually doing something.

But he can almost feel someone’s eyes burning into his back, specifically Chikage’s. He walks into the bathroom, the smell of booze and maybe just a little bit of piss— but he’s used to it, based on the idea that Itaru has had to deal with bar bathrooms ever since joined the damn workforce. But for some reason, the smell of booze is actually a bit pleasant— exclude the piss smell— with a maturity that exudes unconsciously.

He’s still playing the same game, watching Gawain slice some basic slime, Itaru tapping fiercely just to speed up the process— he has to rank for this event and these battles are a little long. Which is why he didn’t want to come, but he owes it to Izumi, who looked significantly more happy when she saw he was coming along for once, after he had declined the past 3 weeks.

But this train of thought is stopped suddenly as soon as the sound of the bathroom door swings open, with a slight bang on the wall, not nearly loud enough to disturb him, but Itaru gets quiet, raising his feet off the ground.

“Chigasaki.” Chikage has a stern voice now.

Itaru is silent. It’s Chikage. He really doesn’t want to talk to him.

“I know you’re in here.” Shit.

“No, you don’t.”

“Just come out. I want to talk.”

One of the worst phrases ever to come out of his mouth, other than “uncute junior.” He walks out a little dejected.

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

He walks away from Chikage, slowly walking to the door with a tinge of tantrum in his steps.

“Wait.”

Itaru continues to walk out before he feels a hand on his wrist pulling him back.

“Wait.” He tightens his grip on Itaru’s arm, forcing him to turn around, their eyes meeting for a bit, Itaru just staring him down as hard as he can which, surprisingly, has a little effect on him.

“What?” Itaru’s voice is cold and steely. “What do you have to say?”

“I’m here to say sorry.” Chikage is completely, wholly serious, his voice echoing in the bar’s bathroom. He pulls Itaru closer, close enough to where he can smell Chikage’s scent, smelling faintly of alcohol, cigarettes, and oddly but not really oddly enough, gunpowder.

“...You… you’re saying sorry.” Itaru doubts Chikage a bit looking into his eyes, for some reason are full of sincerity.

“Yes.” Chikage’s face is telling that he’s still serious, which comes as a bit of a surprise to Itaru.

“...What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re saying sorry to me.”

“And? I’m sorry. Izumi told me about everything.”

“Izumi?”

“Yeah.”

“She told you?”

“No, I asked her.”

“You asked Izumi how I felt before you came to me?” Itaru questions him fiercely, his eyes set alight with a tinted anger.

“I thought you wouldn’t respond.”

“But still? You didn’t even try coming to me first? That’s not fucking right, Chikage.” Itaru can feel a little bit of the alcohol in his brain, his thoughts becoming less coherent as he goes on.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would be so… distraught over me leaving.” Chikage feels a bit awkward, a first for him— then again, tonight might just be the week of firsts, maybe even month.

“I— you didn’t know? Did that moment mean nothing to you?” He thinks back to the first time Itaru went to pick Chikage up.

“It meant something to me, I just— I thought you might’ve been glad, like—“

“Glad? Listen; I love having a room to myself but glad? Chikage. You— You really do— matter to me. You still do, but right now I can’t fuckin—“ Itaru chokes up, frustrated that he can barely get the words out, trying so hard but everytime he says the next word it comes out wrong. “I’m going.” Itaru is tearing up as he slowly feels a burst of energy, breaking away from Chikage’s grip before bursting through the bathroom doors.

He’s almost running through the bar, passing by his table.

“Itaru?” Izumi sees him, tears almost in his eyes as he runs past, Chikage trailing behind. “...Chikage.” She pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration. “What’d you do?” Izumi is stern with her voice, almost a scolding tone.

“I said sorry.”

“Listen, just give him some time.” Izumi looks at Itaru exit the bar, slowly, almost pitifully. “He needs it.”

—

Itaru is humiliated.

Crying in front of everyone, well, at least almost crying. God, what if one of his coworkers were there?

He’s walking along the sidewalk of Veludo Way, the night street slightly bustling with the sound of footsteps moving past. The odd warmth on Veludo Way’s spring day slowly sets into the environment, making Itaru slightly sweat through his undershirt that’s just the slightest bit restrictive, as he unbuttons his jacket and then a button off the collar of his undershirt. Much better.

Itaru has much to think about— which Itaru is definitely not used to, as the thoughts race through his mind like they’re Olympic runners.

He’s not angry. He thinks he should be though, as he sits down onto a bench, the weird rustling of the banners hanging from building to building making this day feel off. Everything about this day feels off. Especially the fact Chikage was motivated to say sorry— which half the time (when he was here) he would probably say, “I’m sorry that you felt that way.” like he wasn’t at fault. But a genuine, I’m sorry?

He takes off his jacket finally, pulling out his phone. Lots of new notifications that he clears immediately, opening his game up again. The area around the bench is secluded, so he knows he can play here.

He can feel the wind getting his hair into his eyes— god he wishes he was home, but after that whole fiasco, he doubts he can go back. Unless Chikage is doing something. But he really doesn’t want to talk about it with Izumi. As understanding as she is, he isn’t in the mood to deal with whatever advice she has to give.

He opens up, Lancelot posing on his home screen saying something about Gawain. How fitting. He immediately turns off the phone after thinking about it a little bit. He can’t even try to escape this. He gets up again, taking a longer walk to an even less busy street. He’s gone really far, he thinks, as he looks at his surroundings, a little bit unfamiliar— as far as six years in the same place can be familiar.

Something is different, he thinks, Itaru settling into the chair and getting comfortable, basking in the sunset’s light that casts shadows long, the silhouettes of people stretching across the sidewalk. It’s not that he’s worried about how everyone else perceives them, they see each other every single day (on a non ranking week). Nothing’s changed. They’re all still close knit— even more close knit than how they were before.

Nothing’s changed.

Everyone talks like they used to, everyone is still friends, even Chikage with everyone else. And there is literally no evidence that Chikage hates him, and he completely understands why he had to go. There’s no evidence that he’s less than glad to see him again after three years.

So why is he so stressed, he thinks to himself, screaming his lungs out internally in anger. He fusses with his phone, turning it over and over again, playing with the home button and the speaker, feeling the engravings on his hand, stroking it fast then slow to pass the time.

“...Chigasaki.” Chikage pulls up to the bench in the troupe’s car.

“...Chikage.” He looks like a child that ran away after his iPad got taken away. Chikage hasn’t really changed either. Maybe more well mannered. Maybe more well meaning than he was the first time around. His skills are still the same, as Chikage parks on the side, and comes out the car, wearing his signature outfit that doesn’t look like it wore down at all in the past three years.

“Why are you here?”

“Can you just… wait this time. Come into the car. I’ll drive you back.”

“How do I know you aren’t kidnapping me?”

“Why would I need to kidnap you?”

“...To force me to accept your apology?”

“Even I know that’s not how it works.”

“Trying to make a joke here.”

“Not a very good one.” They both chuckle a bit.

Nothing’s changed.

“I’m sorry.” Chikage pauses. “Again. Let me try this again— okay?” He looks to Itaru for approval, almost looking more timid than he used to.

“...you were never unable to.” He mumbles under his breath, almost feeling bad for the green haired man sitting next to him, until his asshole smirk pops up again, his slight irritation, and urge to hurt Chikage in more ways than one increasing.

“Can we move into the car? I… I can gather my thoughts better there.”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

They both get up from the bench, the sun already down, the feeling like time passed by so fast, as Itaru checks his phone for the time. It’s 7:48 pm, Itaru says to himself, as he gets into the car.

“So…?”

“So.”

“Go on…”

Chikage starts the ignition, pulling out of the parallel park, taking his time this time.

“How’d you come find me?”

“A spy never tells his secrets.”

“Mmm.” Itaru can’t help but be irritated, Chikage backtracking.

“Sorry. I put a tracker on your phone a while back.”

“Dude, what?”

“Kidding. Or am I?” He laughs at Itaru’s kid-like face, pouting like there’s no tomorrow.

“I just needed to talk to you. I don’t want to let this opportunity go.”

“You had a lot of opportunities.”

“I’m aware.”

“A lot.”

“You said that.”

“Now what do you have to say now?”

“Well, as if you haven’t heard it enough— but I’m sorry. Really.” Chikage takes a deep breath, as he nears closer to the dorms. “We need to patch whatever we have up and since it’s quite out of character for me to take initiative in these intrapersonal relationship fixers, I need you to know that I am aware of my mistake, I really should have just come to you. I just didn’t… assess the situation correctly.”

“Wow.” Itaru is stupefied, just sitting in the car chair.

Now the feelings are really rushing in.

“What?”

“I…” Itaru is just sitting there, unsure of what to say, but Itaru’s sudden interjection stops the conversation right then and there. “...okay. Thanks. I forgive you.”

“Is that it?”

“What?”

“Were you expecting… more work?”

“I’m new to this type of stuff, Itaru— at least doing it in a genuine way.”

“I know.”

“Well… I’m glad you forgive me.”

That definitely shuts them up, setting in a familiar aura of familial awkwardness that Itaru can’t wait to get out of, as they pull into the driveway. Izumi is waiting at the entrance, reading some book about dealing with children— like she has to still, but it doesn’t hurt. He slowly gets out at the same time as Chikage.

“...So?” Izumi looks at Chikage and Itaru inquisitively, almost confused as to what happened— as neither of their faces display great discomfort but also not happiness. Which is what she wanted— but hey, Rome wasn’t built in one day. After a momentary silence, Izumi whips her head around to look at Itaru.

“Don’t run off like that again.” She punches the side of his arm, and walks inside.

Chikage and Itaru quickly shuffle back to their room, Chikage already packing up all his stuff for another trip out.

“Where are you going?”

“Can’t tell you.”

“I figured as much. See you.”

“See you.” Chikage quickly rushes out of the room, leaving Itaru in his messy room, as he gets up from his chair to flop all over the even messier couch, as he moves around some tissues and cans down the floor, laying up and looking at the ceiling, where there’s literally nothing there. Perfect for him. To be alone with one’s thoughts.

Itaru feels bad. He doesn’t know why he feels bad, but he definitely feels bad about something, as he stares up into the whiteness of the ceiling that feels almost engulfing and suffocating for some reason, as he sits up to walk over to his computer to turn it on, taking a seat in his gamer chair, slouching so heavily- even more heavily than usually. He’s tired.

And the first step to becoming “untired” is to address the elephant in the room. Chikage is here and he still, even after all that shit that just went down, does not know how to cope with it. Like he said, Chikage didn’t leave because he resented MANKAI. So why does he feel so bad? He needed time to grieve and time to deal with the stack of bullshit he needed to deal with after his death. It’s fine.

But as cliche as it is, it’s not fine. Itaru is trying so hard to distract himself, but you can only lose yourself in a game so much. He needs to perceive the reality of him being here.

He straightens up in his chair slowly and groans a bit before laying his fingers and hand on the keyboard before determining that he’s too tired to game for once, which he’s surprised by and can barely push through as he gets up, leaving his computer on as he goes up the ladder to fall asleep.

He doesn’t even need to try.

—

Itaru already is dreading the idea of going to work now that Chikage is here, the thought not even crossing his mind during the weekend-- which makes complete sense, being that for the past three days he’s been thinking of Chikage. Which says a lot about him, really.

But now he’s been cursed with Chikage hovering over him as they both sit in the car to work, the silence almost deafening, except for the Idolmaster song quietly in the background— which doesn’t surprise Chikage because of his prior experience with Itaru. But when Chikage looks at him, Itaru has a regained focus while he hums along to the song.

Which definitely matters, because for the first time in a while, Chikage is sweating nervously, on the same level as Itaru trying to force down his feelings vomit back into his stomach, but less visible, as he breaks the silence that’s harder than permafrost with his humming— when as a matter of fact— he didn’t really need to do that, when not even god could save this car ride that keeps dragging on and on.

Chikage doesn’t say anything as they pull into the parking lot of the office building quickly, trying to get in without anyone seeing them— which is practically impossible as they rush in, Chikage hearing whispers of “why are Chigasaki and Utsuki-senpai together?” and “why’d they come into work together?” with the occasional coo, which isn’t very helpful to Itaru’s reddening face as he drags Chikage by the hand to round the hall. Itaru stops to catch a little more breath before starting.

“This is so fucking humilating.”

“Does it matter?”

“...Yeah? I have an image to keep up here, and I can’t lose out on that.”

“Listen, we came together once. I’m sure this won’t happen again.”

“What about the like… 8 weeks till closing night?

“I’ll be fine. I can figure something out.” Chikage goes on his phone.

“God, can we just go. I’ll see you after work.”

“Yeah.”

They walk down the hall, opening the door to the office, and go to their separate cubicles.

—

It’s break, and Itaru is nowhere to be seen, as usual, but Chikage is in the lunchroom poking slowly at his food, which is just an onigiri, which isn’t the most filling thing but he’s subsisted on worse before. He picks it up and takes a bite, looking up at the lunchroom, which is one of multiple in the building, one of the smaller ones, so he’s not around many people at all. But the same sterilized environment starts to get him, falling into the same daily pace, almost making him forget the fact that he had to come to work with Itaru this morning.

Itaru really made a bigger deal than it was, he thinks, remembering his little pouting face as he walked away, his face obviously showing that he was stomping away in his head. Or at least wanted to stomp away, but that isn’t the most appropriate thing to be doing in a workplace setting. His thoughts are interrupted by a voice coming out from the door frame, as he turns his head towards the open door, seeing his coworker in it.

“Utsuki-senpai!”

He looks around for a bit before registering the fact that there’s someone trying to talk to him, which he wasn’t really expecting while he’s in here, as literally no one comes in here except for him, unless someone really needs to talk to him. “Ah, Yui-san. Hi.” He plasters a small smile onto his face like he’s switching on a light.

“So… You were seen coming in with Chigasaki-san, I’ve heard.” She pulls out a chair and sits down next to Chikage, putting down her lunch on the table, and opening up the tupperware.

Chikage sighs, struggling to keep that smile taped on with the shitty tape that can’t even stick to walls. “Yeah.” He pauses after a bit of silence, the room stale with slight fear that he’s mad. He’s definitely not mad, that’s what he knows, but he’s definitely tired of hearing the same shit over and over again, since he got here. “What about him?” He’s obviously coming off a little angry that she’s asking about it, which he’s trying so hard not to do— but to no avail.

“Ah… sorry if I made you mad, the workplace has just been a bit curious… we’ve never really seen you interact with him— that’s all!” She tries to reciprocate Chikage’s fake smile with a smile of his own, overbearing— but Chikage can appreciate the effort. “It’s just that he’s a pretty popular actor… Do you know him?” She’s obviously interested in Itaru.

Chikage doesn’t know what to say— whether to say no, they just happened to meet (which doesn’t make sense) or to say yes. And tell them everything. He decides on a half truth. “Ah, I didn’t know he was an actor!” He quietly adds a “still” at the end, so they can’t call him out if they knew his past. “My car broke down, so I just needed a ride here. I recognized Chigasaki-san as I’ve seen him around. He’s quite the popular one.”

“Hah, yeah. He’s very handsome… even I can see that. Never got the chance to talk to him though.” Chikage already knows why, and rolls his eyes in “it was expected from you, but I’m still disappointed.” He adds a side remark. “Are you two sure you have nothing going on?”

Chikage almost wants to facepalm and walk out, but he needs to retain the caring senpai act for a while, so he sucks it up, and stifles his anger to squeeze out at least a tiny neutral remark. “Yeah. We only came to work together like… once. I don’t know why you’re so interested in this.”

“He is handsome… and he’s nice to boot.”

Are you kidding me? “You sound like you have a crush on him.” She immediately blushes when Chikage even mentions the idea that she has a crush on him.

“Well, can you blame me?”

Chikage wants to roll his eyes so bad, but rolling his eyes in his mind will just have to do as he tries to formulate his sentence, “Really?” Chikage speaks with disbelief in his voice, like he forgot that no one really is aware of his gamer side. She’s completely unaware of his second side. “I mean, he is handsome. But have you ever even… talked to him? Not doubting his social skills or his personality, but I’m just wondering. You need to know what you’re getting into.

“Well…” She thinks to herself, obviously like she hadn’t talked to him a while. Which is probably right. “I’ve talked to him like… once…? Maybe twice, but that was just in a meeting.”

“Well, how can you have a crush on him?”

“He’s so nice! I don’t think there’s a way to dislike him. Seriously.” Yui-san looks as if she’s literally swooning, like she’s leaning back in her chair so far back she might fall.

“Mhmmmm…”

“Well, you’re a downer.” She goes back into her food as Chikage finishes up his onigiri.

“Suit yourself. I’m heading back to my desk.”

“I’ll see you later. Oh, I forgot what I came to tell you! The boss wants to talk to you. Something about a trip?”

“I’ll be sure to head over.”

Trip? He walks quickly out of the break room to escape the awkward atmosphere that he created himself, which is extremely unlike him to do, when he’s usually a bit charismatic in the workplace. His boss doesn’t really intimidate him, as he walks through the hall to head into the office, bumping into Itaru in front of the door.

“... Are you going in?” Itaru looks at him with a neutral face, but he can see the anxiety setting in behind it, as he still keeps up his refreshing businessman facade in front of Chikage, which is a bit irritating, but it’s okay.

“Depends on what you think.” Chikage gives him a shit-eating smirk, a wild difference from the shit-eating grin that Chikage would usually give him.

“Do I really need to say?” He seems a bit tired, huffing a bit from his nose in slight frustration.

They’re both silent for a bit before they start walking, entering the room together. The room is a bit more colorful than most of the office, with the same fish tank still there, and the shelves filled with photos of places he’s been and the occasional family photo.

“Ah! Utsuki-san, Chigasaki-san. Sit down. I’ve been looking for you two.” The last words strike some sort of fear into Itaru’s heart, almost to the same level of “we need to talk”. “Have you two met?”

“Yes, we have.” Itaru speaks up. “We don’t really… talk much however.”

“Ishii-buchou, what did you need from both of us?” Chikage saves Itaru the energy that he would use if he were to speak to him, which he’s obviously thankful for.

“So, my daughter Kaede is having her birthday soon, and I have a trip to go on with a foreign investor, so you can imagine the dilemma I’m having.” He says it in such a condescending way it hurts a little.

“Oh, happy early birthday to your daughter! So what do you want us two to do?” Chikage is still speaking, taking the lead.

“I’m going to need you two to take a trip on my behalf. You two are our most important and reputable workers here, and I think you two would be a good pair.” He smiles fakely from behind the desk. “Could you two please do this?”

Itaru’s eyes widen open. Can this day get much worse? He wants to scream but he’s still in the office. Chikage still looks fine though, he notices, still keeping up the responsible front up, looking directly at Ishii, while Itaru looks at him with fish eyes, like he’s been asked to move the entire office building.

Chikage speaks up first. “Definitely. I would love this opportunity.” He side eyes Itaru to respond.

“Ah, yes, sure.” Shit.

“Great! You guys will be going by the end of this week! You two can go now. I’ll send you more information over email.”

Fuck. chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6

#a3 #a3!#a3! chikage #a3! itaru #a3! chikaita #ckit #chikage utsuki #itaru chigasaki #a3 fanfiction #a3! fanfic

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noladyme · 4 years

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Skip To My Lou, My Darling - Chapter 7, This Is How You Remind Me Of What I Really Am II

The road so far...

The day the angels fell from Heaven, Metatron made Lulu a witness. Now she can see angels, even as they hide within their vessels. Holed up in Rufus' old cabin, Lulu is keeping out of sight, apparently to keep both herself and Sam safe - though Dean won't tell her why it's necessary.

Tag list @edonaspanca @wonderlandfandomkingdom

Dean shrugged of his jacket and shirt – and with a hand on my hip, and the other on my bottom – he lifted me up to straddle him. Our lips were locked together – tongues exploring each other – as he carried me towards a door leading to a bedroom. He looked over the bed; apparently checking to see if it was clean enough. Satisfied that it was, he laid me down on it. He quickly removed his t-shirt, and smiled at me softly. “Come here”, I breathed, and reached for his hand. He crawled over me, and brushed his nose against mine; before kissing me again.

Our fingers intertwined, and the bruises on his knuckles made me sigh. I kissed his hand, while Dean looked on in wonder. Letting go of his hand, I ran my hands down Dean’s back; while he buried his face in the crook of my neck – leaving soft kisses on my skin there. “Sugar and spice; and gunpowder…”, he chuckled. “What?”, I laughed softly. “Your smell… It was always sugar and spice and everything nice… Now it’s gunpowder”. “I don’t smell nice anymore?”, I frowned. “You smell even better…”, he smirked. He pressed his lips to mine again, and pulled at my top. I sat up halfway, and let him take it off. It wasn’t long before his expert fingers had unhooked my bra, and he pulled it off me as well – kissing a trail from my collarbone, and down to my mounds; closing his lips around my left nipple, while his fingers stroked my right.

Deans green eyes met mine, as he gently sucked at my sensitive nub; and lifted his head slightly, letting it fall from his lips, and my breast bounce slightly. I chuckled, and pulled his face towards mine again. I spread my legs, and pulled myself backwards on the bed; inviting him to nestle between my thighs. Dean instantly accepted the offer, and pressed his jeans clad harness against my warmth. My breath hitched from the sensation, and my walls clenched slightly. He grinded against me, drawing soft moans from my mouth – and moved his hands to the button of my jeans, opening it and the zipper.

I took a deep breath, and laid on my back. Dean ran his fingers down my torso, between my breasts and down to my navel. His eyes traveled over my skin, as if he was trying to imprint my curves, freckles and dimples into his mind. With a long sigh, Dean sat up, and began pulling at my jeans and panties to get them off me. He kicked his own pants and boxers off, after having removed his boots; and then gestured for me to get on my belly. His fingertips slid down my back, from my shoulders, all the way to my butt; and between my cheeks. I felt him kiss his way down my spine, and back up again. I moved my hair out of the way to allow him access to the sweet spot bellow my ear; and smiled when the tip of his tongue stroked it, and his lips brushed my skin there.

Holding on to the pillow, I let out a gasp when Deans finders traveled down between my cheeks, searching for, and finding, my warmth. His thumb entered me, and his middle and ring finger played with my clit as he pushed my front wall from inside. I desperately wanted him inside me, and reached behind me to grasp his member; which was – to my satisfaction – responding to my touch, and hardening quickly.

As Deans thumb continued pushing and prodding, I felt a tingling from the bottom of my feet, and all the way up my legs – letting me know that my climax was already nearing. I turned my face into the pillow, letting our wanton moans. Dean must have been able to feel my end approaching, because his work in my vagina quickened, and he pressed harder at me. Suddenly, my walls clenched around his thumb, and I cried out into the pillow. Dean removed his thumb, and got on top of me; sliding into me from behind. His hand moved in front of me, and he continued his stroking of my bundle of nerves; trying to draw my orgasm out.

I couldn’t touch him as I lay there; I was completely at his mercy, as the weight of his body held me down, and he slowly – agonizingly slowly – thrusted into me, and rubbed at me. I delighted in the feeling of his chest against my back, holding me down; as he wielded his dominance over me in this manner – but his usual roughness when we would use this position wasn’t there. Once again, I climaxed; with Dean gasping against my neck from the sensation of my walls quivering around his hardness. As I came down, I turned my torso, so I could kiss Dean, and look into his soulful eyes. Dean smiled softly, and pulled out of me, so I could lay on my back instead, and he settled between my thighs, entering me again.

Chest to chest, our movements became like a slow dance; where I would meet his thrusts gently. He looked into my eyes, and parted his lips as if to say something, before he just shook his head, and kissed me. I put my arms around his back, under his arms, as he rested on his elbows on either side of my head, running his fingers through my hair, and stroking my cheek. Dean was tender in his movements, like he worried that he would hurt me. He gently stroked his hand down my arm, and grasped my hand; letting our finger intertwine. With my other arm, I held him closer, and closed my eyes in content pleasure. We couldn’t get any closer, but I wanted him as near and as deep as I could get him.

When I looked at him again, Dean was still staring at me. “What?”, I smiled. “I don’t want to forget how you look right now…”, he croaked. I furrowed my brow. “You’re saying that like you’re afraid I’ll disappear”, I said. “I’m right here…”. He sighed, and buried his face in the crook of my neck again. I stroked the back of his head, and kissed his temple.

Dean began thrusting deeper into me – still gently – and he let go of my hand, to put my leg around his hips. The closeness of his pubic bone to my bundle of nerves, began sending another rush of warmth through me, and I soon began moaning breathily. Dean kept up his rhythmic thrusting; and lifted his head to look at me. He looked at me questioningly; as if asking, is this right? Are you almost there?. I nodded; and dug my fingers into his skin – letting out a loud whimper, as my walls clenched once again around him. Speeding up his thrusts, and pushing harder into me, Dean had me coming around him within seconds, and he followed me close behind – then relaxed in top of me; kissing my cheeks and my forehead, before letting his lips meet mine in a deep kiss.

Gently pulling out of me, Dean laid on his back, and pulled me into his arms; so I rested against his chest. He kissed the top of my head. “I love you, Lou… Please don’t ever forget that”. I looked up at him. “Why are you acting like we’re saying goodbye?”, I croaked. He sighed, and shook his head. “I don’t… It’s not. I’m sorry”. He held me tightly, and I moved to lay on top of him. “When can I see you again?”, I croaked. “I don’t know… I’ll try to come back whenever I can…”. “But you need to do your job. And take care of Sam”, I muttered. “I know”.

Dean cupped my chin, and pressed his lips to mine again. I suckled at his lower lip, and slid my tongue over it. I felt his penis twitch slightly between my thighs. “I thought you were…”, I breathed. “Apparently not”, Dean smirked. He kissed me again, and breathed in. I took his hand, and moved it to my bottom; relishing in how he squeezed at it. I sat up – straddling him – and scooted down, to grab his member in my hands, and stroked it back to full hardness; before raising myself, and sliding down over him again – closing my eyes in pleasure. Dean placed his hands on my hips, and guided my movements. As I moved up and down, he had me circling my hips – his lips parted, and that adorable W between his brows appeared. I ran my index finger from his hairline, and down over it, his nose, and his lips. I circled his nipples with my fingertips, and gasped, when Dean thrusted into me hard in response. I bit my lip, and clenched my muscles around him. His eyes widened. “Did you… again?”. I shook my head and smirked; doing it again – making him almost hiss. “Oh, wow”, he grunted.

He put his hands on my shoulders, and pulled me to lay down on him. “Do it again”, he whispered. I chuckled, and tightened my muscles again – making Dean thrust hard in response. He dug his fingers into my skin, and I ran mine through his hair – kissing him passionately as he continued his movements. I felt the coil inside me tighten, and soon I was clenching without having to work for it. “Lou, you’re gonna make me…”, Dean croaked, before he pushed into me one final time, and letting go, as we came together. He panted into my shoulder. “I love you”, I breathed, and kissed his temple; before climbing off him, and laying down on the bed. “I love you too”, he muttered. “But I have to go”. “I know”, I sighed.

Dean got off the bed, and began getting dressed. He picked up my panties from the floor, and held them up. “Can I keep these?” he smirked. “No, you weirdo!”, I laughed, and got on my knees, snatching the lacy things from him. He put on his boxers and jeans; and pulled his t-shirt over his head. Before he could get to his flannel shirt, I sprang from the bed, and grabbed it. “You took mine”, I said. “Trade you for the panties”, Dean smirked at me. “Not happening”, I smiled, and got on my toes to kiss him.

He put his arms around me; and held me close for a moment, playing with my fingers on the hand in which I held my underwear. The air in the cabin was chilly, and I was getting goosebumps. Dean grabbed the shirt from my hands, and helped me put it on. “There’s firewood in the shed, and an old truck out back. Keys under the seat”, he muttered. “I’ll be fine”, I whispered. “Go…”. He put his forehead to mine, before kissing me one last time, and tearing himself free; walking out the room, with me behind him. At the front door, he paused. “Lock this…”, he said poignantly; then smiled sadly, and closed the door behind him. I locked it, and went to look at him go, by the window.

As Dean entered the Impala, he looked up at me – and with a smirk – he held up my panties, and put them in his pocket; before starting the car, and driving away.

---

Rufus’ cabin was nothing if not safe. It seemed he’d lined all panels with iron, and there were multiple sacks of salt in the shed next to large amounts of firewood, that kept me warm during the night. Summer hadn’t quite taken on just yet, so it was quite cold if I didn’t keep a fire going. I went through drawers and cabinets, finding old pictures of the hunter himself – who I’d never met in person, but only heard about – along with other friends; or rather hunters, I suspected. There were even a few pictures of Bobby strewn about, and I felt my heart skip a beat, from seeing his smiling face look back at me from a polaroid.

There was no food in the cabin, so with a credit card made out to Vivian Campbell – Dean had probably thought the name of the Def Leppard member would make it easier for me to get away with using the card – I drove the old truck into Whitefish proper, and got some basic supplies; including some herbs – just in case I came across a case where I’d need them.

After a few days of going through Rufus’ old papers and books, I was getting restless. I’d get texts from Dean once in a while, mostly to check I was ok, and not chasing down any wendigos or anything else that was out of your league, Lou, as he’d say. Without a computer it was difficult to do any real research, and all I had was an old tv, to keep up to date on what was going on in the world. I noticed a news report on a grizzly finding of two murdered priests. The camera panned over the police cars, and one car I immediately recognized. A black muscle car. “What are you doing, guys…?”, I muttered to myself.

Tamara called me and invited me along on a werewolf hunt, but I declined; knowing she had all the backup she needed. “Are you ok, love? You sound tired”, she asked. “I’m fine. Really. I’m just on the trail of something else right now”, I responded. “You still in Kansas?”, Tamara muttered. “No… Montana. For now”, I said “How are the lads?”. “Good, I think”, I sighed. “We’re taking some time apart”. “Good for you! Don’t let that silly boy run your life”. “He’s not”, I croaked. “We worked it out, don’t worry. On the same page. More or less”. “All right. I have to go. Call me if you need me, yeah?”. I promised her I would, and hung up. Dean wasn’t running my life, but he was keeping me safe, I reminded myself. A bit too safe, I added to myself.

After about a month of the hermit life, I was going stir crazy. Former trips to the library in Whitefish had led to a single salt and burn about 5 hours away, but that was all I’d been able to track down. I packed up the truck with my equipment; set on finding something – anything – to do with my time. I went to the library, and spent some time on a computer, looking for something easy to throw myself at. Suddenly someone touched my shoulder. I turned around startled, and looked into the eyes of a bespectacled man in a dress shirt and knitted vest. “Miss? Are you looking for something specific?”, he asked softly. Behind his glasses, I saw his eyes widen, and recognized him, as I had the maid.

I threw myself backwards, and drew my blade. “Stay away from me!”, I growled. The librarian-angel held up his hands. “I’m not here to hurt you, Lulu. I’m here to protect you”. “From what?”, I snarled. “You jerks have done enough!”. “The witness must be kept safe”, the angel said. “You carry something holy within you”. “What?”, I demanded; holding my blade in front of me. “Something that will lead us to the traitor”. “What traitor? You’re not making any sense!”, I croaked.

The angel stepped forward, cautiously holding his hands up. “We were thrown from our home, to walk this planet with… humans”, he almost sneered. “We deserve recompense. You are our link to that. To him”. I felt my heart beginning to beat fiercely, almost as if leading me forward. Without any real control over it, I stepped forward, and my hand lifted. The angel looked at me confusedly; when suddenly, I ran my blade through his chest, and light streamed from the wound and his eyes. He collapsed on the floor in front of me.

“Oh, god…”, I rasped. I looked around myself, realizing that – lucky for me – our encounter had been hidden by large shelves, and no one was around. I’d just killed an angel. I grabbed my bag, and ran out of the library; throwing myself into the truck. My heart stilled to a normal beating, but I still felt it leading my movements. Grabbing a large map from the glove compartment; and looked it over. Idaho. I need to go to Idaho, I realized. I didn’t know why, but I knew it was my next step. Starting up the car, I put it in drive, and sped out of the lot, and out of Whitefish.

I called up Dean. After three rings, he picked up. “Sorry, Lou. It’s a bad time”. “You’re telling me. I just killed a librarian-angel!”, I croaked. “You… what? What happened?”, Dean demanded. “He was just standing there. Talking about keeping me safe, and using me to find someone”. Dean let out a low growl. “You’re driving. Where are you going?”, he said. “Idaho”, I said. “Why?”. “I just have to”, I muttered. “I think it’s… that thing Metatron did to me. I have to find someone”. Dean paused. “Who’s in Idaho?”, he said. “I don’t know”. “Then go back!”, Dean snarled. “No. I can’t, even if I wanted to. Did you miss the part, where I killed a librarian?”, I yelled. “I wanna come home…”. “You can’t”, Dean sighed. “Not yet… I’ll come meet you”. I clenched my jaw, and winced when the mufflers of the truck didn’t react very well as I went over a speed bump. “No… Stay with Sam. Just get this over with”. “You’re angry, I get it”, Dean tried. “Damn right, I’m angry!”, I said. “I’ve spent weeks in a cold ass cabin waiting for word from you. I can’t even talk to Sam, because you’re telling me it’s unsafe. He’s my friend, Dean!”. “I know, Lou…”. “Do you? I want to help! I want to make sure someone I love heals from what you’re telling me is something really bad, but you won’t let me near…”. “He can’t heal if you see him… Baby… Please. Just let me come meet you”. “No”, I proclaimed. “I’m doing this on my own. I have to. Just get back to… whatever it is you do these days”. I hung op on him, and roared out my frustrations, before throwing the phone on the seat next to me.

I drove for 6 hours straight, with nothing but a voice inside telling me where to go. In Idaho Falls the truck needed gas, and I pulled up to a Gas-N-Sip. When I stepped out of the car, my body suddenly felt warm and my heart began beating hard again. With shaking hands, I filled up the tank, and stepped inside to pay. A friendly looking blonde stood behind the counter. “Hi there. Which pump?”. “Uhm… 3”, I muttered. I handed her my card, and leaned against the counter, my knuckles white from my hold on it. “You just passing through?”, the attendant asked. Her nametag read Nora. “Kind of… I’m looking for someone”, I said. “Who?”, she asked, as she ran the card. This process was always grueling for me; as I hated using fake credit cards. I always felt like they’d bounce, and police would show up. “I’m not sure…”, I croaked. The card went through, and Nora handed it back to me.

“Lulu?”, a voice behind me breathed. I turned around; and was staring into the face of Castiel. “Cass?”, I whispered. “You know each other, Steve?”, Nora asked. Castiel parted his lips, searching for the right words. “Lulu is my… sister”, he croaked. He stepped forward. “Do you mind if I take my break now? It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other”. “Of course!”, Nora exclaimed. “Use the office”. Castiel kept his eyes on mine, as he stepped over, and put his hand on my back. He let out a short breath, before leading me towards a door next to the restrooms.

Once inside the office, he closed the door. My lips began quivering, and I threw my arms around the neck of my friend. “Cass”, I began sobbing. “Where have you been? Are you ok?”. Castiel embraced me. “I am all right. Are you?”, he asked. I stepped back; wiping my face, and nodding. “I’m… hiding. Again”.

My heart was beating hard, but not painfully. Cass looked me over. “You should not be here. Why did you come?”. “I don’t know. I just had to”, I croaked. “There was an angel… He’s gone now”. “You… killed him?”, Cass asked, raising a brow at me. I nodded. “I didn’t mean to”, I breathed. “He was talking about finding someone. That they needed me for that… Then I just stabbed him”.

Cass sighed deeply. “What’s going on?”, I asked, searching his eyes – and suddenly realizing something. “You’re not an angel”, I gasped. He shook his head. “Not anymore. Metatron took my grace”, he said. “To… make the angels fall…”, I said. “He tricked you”. “Yes, he did. But that’s not all”, my friend said, looking at me with timid eyes. “Not all my grace was used for the fall. Some of it is stored”. “Where?”, I whispered; dreading the answer. Cass lifted his hand, and put it above my heart. “Here…”, he said. “I had to chose someone to carry a part of me… to be the witness”. “You chose… not Metatron?”, I asked. Castiel nodded. “It was the safest place I knew. I needed someone good and pure – and I could only think of you”.

I went to sit down. “You’re… inside me?”, I rasped. “My grace… or at least part of it, is”, Cass explained. “It’s part of the prophecy. There needs to be a human witness; someone who can see the angels as they walk with the humans. That is what my grace is doing in you. It’s showing you – to some extent – what I could see as an angel… This was forced on me, I’m sorry, Lulu”. “Why? What am I supposed to do with it?”, I asked. “Honestly, I don’t know. Metatron didn’t tell me. It was just part of the ritual”.

Castiel took my hand; and the connection made the hair on my arm raise. “It wants to come back to you”, I rasped. “It knows it doesn’t belong with me”. “I know. When that angel spoke of using you against me, it made you kill him. That is why you shouldn’t be here”, Castiel said. “It should be working for you, not against you”. I ran a hand over my face. “So, what am I supposed to do now?”, I asked. Cass shrugged. “The prophecy… I don’t know much about it. Metatron lied to me about so many things”, he said. “But as far as I can gather, you’re supposed to witness what comes next”. “And what’s that?”. “War… between the angels”.

I stood back up, and began shaking my hands – stretching – to get the uncomfortable feeling of something trying to escape my body, and jump at Castiel. “Great. I’ll just drive around the country and look on as angels kill each other. Is that it?”. “There has to be more”, Castiel said. “I just don’t know what…”.

There was knock on the door, and Nora peeked inside. “Sorry, Steve. But I’m getting swamped out here…”. “Yes, I will be right there!”, Castiel smiled. “Lulu… you should go home. We’ll… talk more. Another time”. He led me through the shop, and out to the truck. I turned to look at him, finding it difficult to find the right words. “Cass…”, I croaked. “Drive far away from here. Don’t come back”. He put a hand on my cheek. “I know this is a heavy burden, and I am very sorry. But I chose you, because I know you can carry it. I trust you”.

With shaking hands, I got behind the wheel. As I drove away, Castiel waved at me, and went back inside the shop.

---

Without a clue on what my next step should be – and fighting the celestial urge within me to turn around, and see Castiel again – I drove south; without direction or any plans. Reaching Utah, I finally decided to throw caution to the wind, and head east instead. I called up Deans number. “Dean’s phone…”. “Sam?”, I cried out. “Lulu! How’s solo hunting going?”, Sam said. I could hear a bright smile in his voice. “I’m not… It’s good. How are you? Are you healing?”. “I’m fine! I’ve been fine for weeks. Dean’s just being weird. When are you coming home?”, Sam asked. I took a deep breath, feeling rage emerge. “I’m on my way back”, I grunted. “You sound strange. You sure you’re fine?”. “What did Dean tell you?”, I said. “Just that you were working. Is something wrong?”, my friend asked. “I don’t know yet. Could you not tell him I’m coming? I want it to be a surprise”. Sam chuckled. “Sure. We both know how Dean loves surprises”, he joked. “I’ll keep my mouth shut”. “Thanks. See you tomorrow”, I grunted, and hung up.

I couldn’t let Dean know I was coming back. I wasn’t sure what he’d do, he might even rush to find a case, and haul ass out of the bunker with his brother, so I wouldn’t be able to see Sam. And I needed to see him; to know why he was keeping me away. This was my call, even if it was a bad one. It was a chance I had to take.

I drove through the night, only stopping for gas, and grabbing a quick bite at a drive through. The girl in the window who handed me my burger, looked at me intently – and I recognized her as angel. I sped away as fast as I could. Putting some extra miles on the meter to avoiding any tails; but finally found myself back on course for Lebanon. 16 hours after I’d left Idaho Falls, I parked the truck in front of the bunker door. I saw Charlies car further down the road, and wondered what she was doing back with the guys.

I quietly opened the bunker door, and stepped inside. I could hear music playing from the library, and walked down the stairs. The old record player was playing Somewhere Over The Rainbow, and I recognized Charlies stickered computer on the map table. Dean was standing with his back to the room in the archway, as I made it all the way down the steps. “I don’t know, man. I’m worried. She’s on friggin’ Oz!”, he grumbled. Sam was seated by one of the tables, and sent his brother a smiled. “She’s got Dorothy looking after her. She’ll be fine”, he said; before seeing me behind Dean. “Hey!”, he grinned.

Dean turned around, and his face dropped. “Lou…”, he croaked. “Why… what are you doing here?”. “I came home…”, I said meaningfully. “How is everything here?”. Dean gulped, and looked over his shoulder at Sam. “Good. We’re good”, he rasped. He ran over to embrace me; and once I was in his arms, he turned us around, so I had my back to Sam. “Let’s go… talk”. I pushed him off me. “No… I want to say hi to Sam”. Dean’s eyes widened, and he visibly tensed up. “Please don’t, Lou”, he whispered. I looked at him with hard eyes. “I’m going to say hi to my friend. You’ll have to shoot me to stop me”, I muttered. I pushed hard at his chest, and Dean’s defeated and pained expression almost had me wanting to stroke his stubbly cheek – but I needed to know the truth. A truth I had begun to suspect since my meeting with Castiel.

I turned around and smiled brightly at Sam, before stepping over to him. He held out his arms, and embraced me tightly. “Hi, Lulu!”, he smiled. “It’s so good to see you… whole!”. I pulled my head back, and looked into his eyes. A chill went through me body, when I saw what was living inside him. “Sam…”, I croaked. “What’s…?”. Dean sprang over, and grabbed my arm. “That’s enough. I haven’t seen my girl for over a month”, he grinned; his smile not reaching his eyes. “We’re going to do dirty things in my room. Don’t come in!”.

He dragged me behind him down the hallway, and pushed me into his room – closing the door behind us. “Why are you here? I told you…”. “What did you do, Dean?”, I snarled. Dean took a defensive stance. “I made a call. I couldn’t let Sam die”, he declared. “Does he know you let an angel in?”, I hissed. “He’d never…”. “I know! And he can’t know”, Dean said. “He’ll kick him out. And he’s not ready for that. His body can’t take it yet”. He sighed deeply. “I came to see you in Michigan, because I needed to know the truth. If you’d be able to see the angel in Sam… If you told him…”, Dean croaked. “I didn’t want to push you away. I just wanted to keep my brother safe”.

I paced the floor. “Are you crazy? What do you think will happen when we tell him?”. Dean grabbed my shoulders. “You’re not going to tell him!”, he growled. “So help me God, I will…”. He didn’t finish the sentence. “Kill me?”, I hissed. “Is that what you’ll do? Anything for your brother, right?”. Dean let go of me. “You know I’d never… how can you even think that?”. “You seem to be making a lot of decisions about the lives of others”, I snarled. He put his hands on either side of my face, and looked deep into my eyes. “That is never happening. But I can’t…”.

There was a knock on the door. “Dean!”, Sam’s voice called out. “I’m looking at boobs. Go away!”, Dean yelled. I pushed him off me. “Come in, Sam”, I said. Dean looked at me, and shook his head pleadingly. Sam’s tall frame stepped through the door, and his eyes met mine again – the angel inside coming through more clearly. “She has to leave”, he said; his tone different from how I knew it. “Sam…”, I began. “I am not Sam now”, the angel said. Dean’s eyes fell to the floor. “This is Zeke. Ezekiel. He’s healing Sam from the inside”, he muttered. “Zeke, this is Lulu”.

The angel stepped up to me, and looked down into my eyes. I swallowed hard. “I know who she is. Sam thinks of her fondly; as a good friend”. He narrowed his eyes at me. “If you are a good friend, Lulu; you will leave now. Let me finish my work”. I shook my head. “You can’t do this to Sam without him knowing! It’s not right…”. “If you do not leave, I will have to hurt you”, the angel declared; and suddenly a force threw me at the wall, as if choking me. Dean jumped in between us. “Zeke! Let her go. She’s not a danger to you, or to Sam”. “She has to leave. Now. She will not stay quiet”. Dean looked at the angel pleadingly. “Please… I’ll make her go. Just don’t hurt her”. He held up his hands in surrender.

I felt the force holding me disappear, and I fell to the floor, coughing. Dean sprang to my side, and pulled me into his arms. He put his hand on my cheek and searched my eyes. “Are you ok?”, he breathed. I nodded tentatively. “Make her leave. Or I will”, the angel said; and left the room.

“You have to go”, Dean whispered, putting his forehead to mine. “Please… for both of you”. I grabbed his collar, and looked at him angrily. “You tell him, Dean. End this!”, I croaked; my throat still sore. “I will… I swear. It just needs to happen at the right time”. He leant in as if to kiss me, but I turned my head. “You lied to me. You’re lying to my friend”, I said. “Fix it; then maybe… Maybe we can fix us”. I got on my feet and left the room.

Once back in the library, Sam was standing over the table, looking at his computer. When he heard me enter, with Dean close behind, he turned around. “That was fast”, he chuckled. “I’m leaving”, I muttered. “I have to go away from here”. “Lulu”, Dean tried. “Goodbye”, I said. I went towards the stairs – my legs shaky – and looked over my shoulder at Sam. “You”, I said, speaking to the angel inside him. “You take care of him, or I won’t answer for the consequences”. Sam looked at me confusedly. “We always take care of each other Lulu. You know that”, he said. “What’s going on with you?”. “It’s been a difficult month”, I muttered.

Sam picked up Charlie’s computer, and went over to hand it to me. “Charlie’s… she’s not gonna need this for a while. Maybe you can use it”. “Thanks”, I whispered; and took the device from him, before running up the stairs as fast as I could. I got into the truck, and sped away.

---

I found it difficult to drive; as my tears made the road blurry in front of my eyes. After a while I had to pull over, and let loose. I cried in deep sobs. I knew Dean would do anything for Sam, for me even; but this – what he had done to his brother, my friend – it was beyond anything I’d ever thought him capable of.

I finally settled down, and made my way to a motel just outside Kansas City. I needed sleep, and to calm my nerves. I checked in as Taylor Hanson, and let myself into the room; almost collapsing on the bed. When I woke, I looked at my phone. I’d been sleeping for 12 hours straight; and had several missed calls and a few voicemails. I sighed deeply, and checked them. “Lou. It’s me… I’m sorry. Please don’t… Don’t disappear on me again. I know what I did was rash, and probably stupid; but I had to… I love you. Call me back”. The next message was from 3 hours later. “Ok. You’re pissed. I get it. But I don’t regret it. Once this is over, everything will be ok. You can come back… I really want you to”. 5 hours after that, Dean had left another message. He sounded drunk. “You know what? Do what you want. Hunt, get your ass kicked without me to save you. I’m done. I’m gonna focus on getting my brother back in shape”. I heard some glass falling and crashing. “Woops, that’s my beer. Anyway… Take care, sugar. Maybe we’ll bump into each other someday. I’m gonna go now… You, uhm… keep that cute ass out of trouble. Right… Bye”. Five minutes after that, Dean had left a final message. “Lou… baby. I love you. I love…”. He must have hung up accidentally, because the call ended abruptly.

I laid back on the bed, and ran a hand over my face. I was so angry, and yet in anguish over how I’d ended it when I left. Everything had gone to hell, ever since I went to – well, Hell.

There was a final voicemail, and I pressed the button to listen. “Hey, Jordan… It’s Chloe… from the bar. It’s been a while. I understand if you don’t remember…”. She sounded choked. “I’m… I need your help. There’s a guy here…”. There was a rustling, and another voice came through. “I’ll do it. Hey, honey. It’s me. I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I scared you back in that alley. I can hardly remember coming back to the bar”. Pete was using his loving voice. “I have your friend here. Chloe. I really need to see you, Lulukins. Please come… or I’ll have to hurt Chloe. The address is…”. I sprang from the bed, and got dressed as Pete gave the instructions on where to meet him. “You have … 4 hours, before Chloe will be late for work. See you, my love”.

Four hours. As I’d been asleep for so long, at this point it was more like two. Loading my gun with normal bullets, and settling my iron knife in the pocket of my leather jacket; I got in the truck, and sped towards the meeting place.

I parked the truck down the street from the bar Pete had worked at after we moved to KC. It had gone out of business after a year there; leaving Pete in our shared apartment, playing acoustic guitar, and working on his music. He really was a douchebag. I snuck into the building, my gun at the ready. Someone was playing guitar. “Pete…? Chloe?”, I called out; keeping my back to the wall. The music stopped, and I heard a muffled scream. “Let her go!”, I yelled.

“You can come out, Lulu. It’s ok”, Pete bellowed. I slowly stepped out from the entryway, and into the bar area. On a small stage stood Pete – a guitar in hand – and Chloe tied up on a chair next to him, a muzzle over her mouth. I raised my gun, and aimed it at my ex. “Let her go, Pete. She doesn’t need to be involved in this”, I said softly, and walked forwards. “Please. This isn’t you”. Pete set down the guitar, and clenched his fists in front of his chest. “But it is, honey!”, he sighed. “This is who you’ve made me become… I love you so much”. “Tying up an innocent girl isn’t love”, I said. “Let her go, and I’ll put down the gun. Then we can talk”. Pete held out his hands in surrender. “Ok, ok… Just… come up here… Help me. I think I tied her up too hard”.

I frowned, and got onto the stage; standing behind Chloe. She was tied with ropes, in intricate knots. “Get off the stage”, I said to Pete; waving at him with my gun. He obliged, and went down to sit on a table left behind by the former owners. I secured my gun, and put it in the back of my jeans; pulling out my knife to cut Chloe free. “I’m so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened”, I muttered; and got the ropes off her wrists. She removed the muzzle herself, and got up to stand. I got in front of her, to shield her from Pete. “You’re right. It shouldn’t have”, Chloe hissed, and grabbed my gun from my waistband; aiming it at my back. “Sit down”.

“Good job, sissy!”, Pete smiled. “I knew you could do it”. “Thank you!”, Chloe chuckled. I looked at Pete with confused and startled eyes. “Right!”, Pete said. “You never met my sister… Well, now is a good a time as any. Honey, meet Chloe. Sissy, this is my Lulu”. Chloe put her hand on my shoulder, and pushed me to sit down on the chair. “Drop the knife”, she said. I let go of the blade in my hand; letting it drop to the floor.

“What’s going on?”, I croaked. Chloe stepped in front of me; still aiming the gun at me. “What’s happening? Oh, you bitch!”, she snarled. “Chloe, it’s ok. Lulu is just confused”, Pete said. His sister scoffed. “Was she confused when she dumped you? Broke your heart to run off with someone else?”, she growled. “I should kill her!”. Pete jumped back on the stage, and grabbed the gun from Chloe. “Relax… ok? I don’t want to hurt her. Just talk… For now”.

Pete crouched in front of me; and ran his hand up and down my arm, as if soothing me. “Pete, I’ll talk. But not while you’re holding a gun”, I said. “Here’s the thing…”, Pete sighed; pointing the gun at me. “You had a lot of weird things hidden around the apartment when we lived together. For one, that freaky silver-sword. I don’t know whether you won’t try to escape, or even hurt me…”. I let my lip quiver, and looked down. Pete leaned in, as I knew he would; and once he did, I headbutted him, and ran for the door.

Chloe threw herself at me; and I struggled to get her off me. “You can’t win this fight, Lulu!”, Pete yelled. He was holding a hand to his bleeding nose. “Read some of those books you kept around. I know what you do”. Chloe smirked at me. “We made ourselves a little witch-juice; from a spell in one of them”, she said. “We’re much stronger than your run of the mill bartender and artist”. “Aww, sissy!”, Pete tweeted. “You think I’m an artist?”. “Of course you are! You’re an amazing musician…”. I scoffed; and Chloe punched me in the face. “He is amazing!”.

Pete crouched down next to me. “I know this is hard to understand, honey… But I’d do anything for love”. “Quoting Meatloaf won’t get me in any more of a romantic mood”, I sputtered; still struggling against the woman straddling me. Seemingly struggling to keep his composure, Pete grabbed my phone from my pocket. “We’re going to end this. You’re going to call him, get him here; and once he’s dead, you and I can start anew”. “No…”, I croaked. “Yes”, Chloe hissed; almost spitting in my face. “Bitch, you ever heard of mouthwash?”, I snarled. She growled, and raised her fist. “Chloe!”, Pete roared. “Stand down…”.

Chloe got off me, and Pete pulled me to my feet. With a firm grip to my throat, he walked me onto the stage again, and sat me on the chair. He handed the gun to Chloe, who aimed it at me. “Call him. I can’t promise I’ll be able to stop her from shooting you if you don’t”, Pete said warningly. “Tell him you’re alone, and to come alone himself”. “I’m gonna have to convince him… We were in a fight”, I rasped. Pete nodded. “Whatever you have to do”. Swallowing hard, I took the phone, and dialed up Dean.

“Lou”, he said quietly. “Look, I’m…”. “Hey, baby”, I croaked, interrupting Dean. “You still in Lebanon?” “Yeah?”, he growled. “Why?”. “No reason. I hear it’s a real funky town there. Is that Fleetwood Mac you’re playing?”, I said. I could almost hear Dean tensing up. “Yeah. Partying hard. You wanna meet up?”, he muttered. “That sounds good… Come alone, ok?”. “Address?”. I gave Dean the address of the bar, and let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry for calling like this. I know you’re busy”. I looked up at Pete, who gestured for me to wrap it up. “So, I’ll see you soon”. “Yeah. Bye”. Dean hung up.

Pete put my phone in his pocket, and leant down to kiss my forehead. “You did good, honey”, he whispered. “This’ll all be over soon”. “It’s gonna take him a while to get here”, I muttered. “That’s ok. I’ll play you some music”. I groaned internally, but had no wish to be shot by the psycho baby sister of my ex; so, I simply nodded.

---

After being tied up – and sitting through a few hours of Pete playing a solo set of every Nickelback song he knew – I heard the sound of the Impala outside. “He’s here…”, I said. Behind my back, I had been continuously working on loosening the knots of the ropes holding me. Pete put down the guitar, and walked over to me; holding my knife to my throat. Chloe ducked out of view. Dean stepped into the bar, looking seriously hung over. “Hey”, he grunted. “Nice place you have here”. He looked at me. “You good?”, he asked. I nodded twice, letting him know Pete wasn’t alone.

“This is him?”, Pete muttered. “You left me for this guy?”. I rolled my eyes. “No I left you because you were clingy and a douchebag”. A smirk ghosted Deans face. “And your jeans are too tight!”, I yelled, finally free from the ropes. I elbowed Pete in the groin, and jumped up. I kicked the bent over Pete in the head; and ducked out of the way, just as Chloe shot the gun at us, hitting her own brother in the process. “You sure you need me here?”, Dean exclaimed. “I needed a distraction”, I snarled. “Could you maybe help me out with the little one?”.

Dean pulled out his knife, as I grabbed my own from the heavily panting Pete; holding it to his neck. “A knife won’t kill me!”, he growled. “Iron, Petey”, I smiled. “Let me say this one final time. We are over”. I began pressing the knife downwards; when Chloe jumped at me – knocking me to the floor. “Get off him!”, she shrieked. Dean ran towards us, and kicked Chloe hard in the ribs, making her wince, but not budge from me. She held the gun to my head. “Why are you doing this, Chloe?”, I asked. “He’s my brother. I would do anything for him”.

“Trust me, kid. Doing anything for family doesn’t always work out well”, Dean snarled. Behind us, he’d grabbed Pete, and was now holding his own knife to his heart. “Get up”. Chloe’s eyes widened, and she got off me; dropping the gun to the floor. “Please don’t hurt him”, she croaked. “I just wanted him… happy”. Dean looked at me. “It’s your call, Lou”, he grunted. “Can we strip them of magic?”, I asked. Chloe shook her head. “If you do, Pete will die from that gunshot”, she whimpered. “You should have thought of that before”, I snarled.

Dean put down his knife, and looked Pete with enraged eyes. “You get out of here. Go far away”, he growled; his eyes aflame. “If you even set foot near this woman again; I will find you – and I will rip your lungs out with my bare hands. Is that understood?”. The scene brought me back to a diner, years before; when his father had used those same words. Pete looked towards me. “Is this what you want, honey?”.

I stepped towards him – grabbing my gun as I passed it – looked down; and kicked him in the head; knocking him out. I looked at Chloe. “There’s a truck outside. Go to Alaska; and stay there!”, I hissed. “I will know if you leave; and I’ll know if you cause trouble”. “How?”, she croaked. “You’re not the only one with a little knowledge of magic”, I smirked sarcastically. “Now, go!”.

Chloe sprang for Pete, and picked him up, as if he weighed no more than a toddler. “Oh, cupcake?”, Dean called after her. “We have friends in Alaska. They’ll find you if needs be”. Chloe swallowed, and nodded – then carried Pete outside.

I went to sit down on the edge of the stage. Dean sat down next to me. “You ok?”. “He played me Nickelback…”, I croaked. “For hours!”. Dean pulled me into his arms. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry”. He kissed the top of my head, and rubbed my shoulder. I sighed. “I’m sorry you got dragged into this”, I muttered. “It’s fine. You didn’t seem to need much help anyway…”, he smiled. “Good call on the Mac reference. I’m still pretty sure Stevie is a witch as well”. “If she is, it’s a white witch. And those we like… right?”. Dean chuckled.

“Can you take me back to my motel? I lost my ride”, I breathed. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll take you home”, Dean said; and stood up, pulling me with him. “No…”, I said. “No?”, he asked. “Lou…”. “I can’t go back there. Not while Sam is still… No. You heard the angel”. “Baby, I’m going to let Sam know”, Dean said. “This needs to end”. I nodded. “Yeah, it does”. I looked at him with gentle eyes. Deans jaw dropped. “You mean… No!”, he gasped. “That’s not an option. I’m not letting you go, Lou. I can’t!”.

I put my arms around him. “I spent a month in that cabin, Dean. Waiting for you to give me the all’s clear”, I sighed. “All I wanted to do was get out there and work, but I didn’t, because I needed to stay out of what was happening with Sam; and I couldn’t make myself known to anyone. I’m done with that”. “With me, you mean”, Dean breathed. “No… We’re endgame…”, I smiled, and looked up at him. “But I have to go out there and do my own thing. I think that’s why I took that job. To figure out who I am, apart from being your… in house sex-bunny”. His lips twitched into a slight smile.

“But what about this witness thing?”, Dean said. “You could get hurt…”. I shrugged. “It’s what we do, right? Hunters get hurt. Hunters get hurt, then we patch ourselves up, and move on”. Dean clenched his jaw. “And you… are a hunter”, he muttered. “Someone even told me I was kind of ok at it”, I smirked. “Look… Go finish this thing with Sam. And I mean finish it. You’re not letting my friend run around with an angel inside him. It’s enough that one of us has to deal with that”. Dean frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, he asked. I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it. Just take me back to my motel”.

Dean sighed deeply, took my hand, and led me outside. The truck was gone, and I got in next to him in the Impala. We drove back to my motel; and Dean walked me to the door. “You all set up?”, he grunted, as I opened the door. “Credit cards? Weapons?”. “I’m good”, I said. “Just need a partner… Thinking of calling up Charlie. She’s fun”. Dean winced. “Yeah… she’s fighting flying monkeys”. “What?”, I grunted. “Oz… It’s a thing”, Dean muttered. He scratched his head. “Sam thinks I’m out scouting for a case… I have a few hours”. I smirked. “You asking to test the springs of the mattress in there?”. “Hell, yeah”, he grinned.

I grabbed his collar, pulled him inside; and just managed to slip the do not disturb sign on the knob, before closing the door.

---

I’m getting out of the car in Illinois, to grab a quick bite at a diner. Charlie’s 1976 Gremlin was parked outside my motel the day after Dean dropped me of there; with a note letting me know it shouldn’t go to waste while she was away. I’ve packed it up with my belongings, and painted a devil’s trap on the ceiling. It’s been a good while since I’ve seen any of the brothers. Dean checks in when he can, but the messages are few and far between. Lately, even further. He seems preoccupied, and even bitter when we talk.

I sit down in a booth, and order a large coffee and some bacon. Pulling out my – Charlie’s computer – I go over my notes on the case. A pimply teenage boy brings me my order; as I’m enthralled by the witness statements on local cow mutilations. They seem to have been torn apart by some kind of animal.

Suddenly, a tall figure sits down across from me. I look up, and my eyes widen. “Sam?”, I breathe. “Hey, Lulu”, my friend smiles. I swallow hard. “I’m me again. No stowaways”, Sam assures me. “Oh… good. And you’re… ok?”, I croak. He nods. “Working a case”. “Alone?”, I ask.

Sam clenches his jaw, and looks down. “Yeah… Dean’s on some… I don’t know”. I sigh. “I’m sorry… I wanted to tell you”. He grabs my hand over the table. “I know… We’re good. Really”. I try a smile. “But Dean?”, I ask. “He… That wasn’t his call to make”, Sam says. “I was ready to go”.

I squeeze his hand. “Sam… He is who he is. He didn’t want to lose you”. Sam shrugs. “He was selfish”. “Maybe”, I say quietly. “But he’s your brother, and he loves you”. My friend clears his throat. “I don’t want to talk about it”, he mutters. “Tell me about you! What are you working on?”.

I turn around my computer for him to see. He frowns. “This, uhm… this is my case”, he chuckles. “You’re working on this?”. “Yup…”, I smile. “I’m thinking werewolf”, Sam whispers. I narrow my eyes. “I’m not so sure… See these clawmarks?”, I show him a picture. “The cow was torn apart. Not bitten in to. Rugaru?”. Sam smiles at me. “Tell you what… We do this one together. If it’s a wolf, you buy the beer; if not, I do”. “Deal”, I grin.

---

#dean winchester fic #dean winchester #dean winchester x oc #dean x oc #dean winchester smut #sam winchester #castiel #supernatural #supernatural fic

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mixergiltron · 1 year

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Blended 2: Electric Boogaloo

The dog days of summer might be past,but it's still plenty hot enough outside to enjoy a cold blended drink. So here are some more potions to keep your blender busy.

Mix #41 Pusser's Painkiller

2oz Pusser's Rum 4oz pineapple juice 1oz orange juice 1oz cream of coconut ground nutmeg

Blend everything except nutmeg. Pour into mug,top with nutmeg.

As I said in my Black Tot Day post,I like my painkillers blended. Use Gunpowder Strength if you want to add more octane.

Mix #46 Scorpion

1.5oz gold rum 3/4oz brandy(cognac)* 2oz orange juice 1oz lemon juice 1/2oz orgeat

Blend with ice.

*Some recipes use pisco.

A classic Tiki drink. A bit tart for my taste,next time I try it I'm going to back off the lemon juice and swap tangerine for the orange.

Mix #47 Midori Colada

1/2oz white rum 1.5oz Midori 2oz coconut cream 1.5oz pineapple juice

Blend with ice until smooth

With only a half ounce of rum,this makes a nice low-wattage drink for parties and cookouts. The melon/coconut/pineapple blend isn't too sweet and the drink comes out a nice light green that looks good in a glass.

Mix #48 Sugar Island Rum Runner

3/4oz Sugar Island spiced rum 1/4oz blackberry liqueur* 1/4oz creme de banana liqueur 2oz orange juice 1/2oz grenadine 8oz ice

Blend until smooth.

*I used blackberry brandy.

I found Sugar Island rum at the local liquor store and gave it a try. It's now my go-to for spiced rum. This recipe is from their site,which seems to be down at the moment. The bright color,fruity taste,and low yield payload make it an excellent party drink.

Yo ho ho and a blender of rum!

#tiki drinks #tikiculture #rum cocktails #tiki #rum #rum drinks #blended drinks #cocktails

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justmeandmyinnermostthoughts · 5 years

Text

The Wick Family Part 3: Sugar and Spice and Gunpowder

A/N: Well, this chapter is a lot longer than the previous ones, oops. Hope you all enjoy this one. It’s a little darker than the others.

And a special shout-out to my friend @ledger-kaos for being a great beta reader!

Let me know what you think and if you want to be added to the tag list! (gif not mine)

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 (You are here) ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Part 10

“Where is she?”

Sound was starting to come back, along with the feeling of someone pounding on the back of John’s head.

“How hard is it……. She’s a little girl. She can’t have…….. Find her!”

John can hear people shuffling around him and voices further in the house. He squeezes his eyes shut tight, trying to clear his head, before slowly blinking them open, squinting at the bright lights. He comes back to himself, snapping his head up and trying to stand only to find himself strap to a chair. He looks down at himself to see zip ties around his wrists and ankles.

“Mr. Wick, welcome back to the land of the living.”

John leans back in the chair, ignoring the pain in his head, and takes in the man sitting on the arm of the couch in front of him. He seems rather average in John’s opinion. Grey eyes, fair skin, grey suit, white shirt, grey tie, black shoes, and a face that John doesn’t recognize. The only thing about the man that stands out is his red hair. John took all this in at a glance, sizing the man up and the three, no four other men in the room with him. “Who are you?” He nearly growls, voice low and gravely.

The man shrugs. “Just a side party interested in putting your particular set of skills to use.”

“I’m retired.”

“So people keep telling me, but everyone has a price, and a weakness” The corner of his mouth turns up in a smirk. “Speaking of yours, have you found her yet?” The man asks standing, straightening the sleeves of his jacket as he glances at his men.

“If you hurt her I’ll tear you to pieces.” John leans forward, clenching the arms of the chair, his knuckles turning white and his gaze turning sharp and angry enough to cut glass.

“Relax Mr. Wick. I don’t plan on harming your daughter. That would be suicide and I don’t hurt children.” His lips pull back in disgust at the thought. “I just want to use her as insurance that you’ll get the job done. Then she’ll be returned to you, safe and unharmed.”

~ ~

Celestial is doing her best to keep her breathing slow and quiet. She’s suddenly very glad she has so many blankets piled in her closet. The men had come into her room and moved some around but, luckily, they weren’t as thorough as they should have been and she hadn’t been discovered. She can hear movement out in the hall and people talking downstairs. Was that her dad talking? Is he okay? She couldn’t quite make out what was being said. She waits a few minutes more, being sure that no one was in her room anymore before slowly moving the blankets aside. As quietly as she can, she creeps towards the open door of her room, holding a loose weave blanket in her hands. She doesn’t know what she’ll do with it, maybe throw it at someone hoping they’ll tangle themselves up or something, but it makes her feel better holding it. Her heart is pounding in her ears as she gets closer to the door.

“.....everyone has a price, and a weakness. Speaking of yours, have you found her yet?” A stranger says. He sounds like a dick.

“If you hurt her I’ll tear you to pieces.” That’s dad. He’s okay. Her shoulders relax a little. She grins. He sounds pissed.

Celestial crouches beside her door and looks down the hallway to the left. She can see the end table near her dad’s room. If she can just make it there…

“...Then she’ll be returned to you, safe and unharmed.” Celestial has a half second to notice a shadow falling on the door frame before a man dressed in black steps into view.

Celestial looks up at the man with wide eyes as he looks at her for a moment, shocked to see her there. She takes advantage of the split second of shock and throws the purple blanket up over the man’s head. “Catch.”

The man raises his arms at the sudden object being thrown at him and lets out a startled “Hey,” before Celestial shoulder checks him as hard as she can in the side, making him stumble back a step, and she runs past him.

“Get back here!” Comes the command as the stranger manages to remove the blanket from his head and throws it to the ground. He moves to follow after the girl but only takes two steps before his foot gets caught in the loose weave of the blanket and he falls, barely managing to catch Celestial’s ankle as he goes down.

Celestial screams as she falls. The grip on her ankle tightening.

John’s head snaps up towards the stairs when Celestial screams. He begins to pull on his restraints as two of the men below start towards the stairs. The man in the suit raises an eyebrow but looks unworried.

Celestial flips over and kicks at the fingers around her ankle. “Let me go!” She shouts at the man as the heel of her boot comes in contact with his fingers. He releases her ankle and she scrambles to her feet and continues down the hall.

“Ow, shit kid, don’t make this difficult.” The man kicks free of the blanket and scrambles after the girl. Another man dressed in black is coming down the hallway behind him.

“Stay away from me!” Celestial races to the small table, the stranger right behind her. The man reaches out to grab her as she reaches the table. She ducks, dropping to her knees and reaching under the table, her fingers wrapping around the cold metal handle she knew would be there. She whips the pistol out of its hidden holster and pivots, falling onto her butt and lower back as she clasps the pistol in both hands and faces the stranger reaching for her. “I said stay away!” She hardly has a moment to aim low at the mans torso, close to his left hip and underneath where most tactical vests would end, before she squeezes the trigger.

The shot rings out, loud and clear in the house, making everyone flinch at the sudden abrasive noise.

“Celestial!” John screams, fearing the worst, the sound raw and nearly broken and loud enough to cover up the scream of a man in pain.

“Fuck!” The stranger grips his bleeding side as he stumbles back, falling to a knee. His buddy stopping a few feet short of the stairs and watching with wide eyes. “You little bitch. You shot me!”

“Yea, and I’ll do it again if you don’t back up.” Her voice starts out shaky but gains strength and volume as she goes, making herself heard downstairs.

John’s breath catches in his throat as he hears her, slowly slumping forward a little in the chair. He turns his head so he can watch the top of the stairs.

Celestial keeps the gun pointed at the stranger in front of her, grip tight on the pistol, as she stands up. She takes note of the guy farther down the hallway before looking back at the man she shot. “Back down the hall, slowly, then down the stairs.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, kid.” The man growls, holding his side.

Celestial’s eyes narrow. She’s still scared, obviously, who knows who these guys are or what they want, but now she’s added another emotion to the list. These guys come into her house, most likely with the intent of kidnapping her and use her as leverage against her father, and this guy is giving her sass because she shot him while defending herself? No way. If anyone has a right to be angry here it’s her, and she is. She’s suddenly very angry, and the man can tell. Celestial seems to go still, she’s no longer shaking, she’s solid and almost seems to stand taller. A look clouds her eyes that has the man in front of her swallowing and slowly getting to his feet, backing away from her and going down the hallway. She follows him, step for step. And he can almost feel the anger radiating out from her.

He holds a hand up in a placating gesture, the other holding his side as he backs away from her. He steps into view of the men below as he reaches the staircase. He stops and glances over his shoulder at his boss downstairs.

Celestial moves closer to the stranger, not close enough for his to easily grab her but close enough for her to be able to push him down the stairs, if needed. She watches the other man out of the corner of her eye.

The man in the suit makes a get on with it gesture with his hands. “Well go on, grab her. She’s a child, how much damage could she possibly do?”

The corner of John’s lips turn up in amusement at that comment. His daughter isn’t all sugar and spice and everything nice as people like to believe.

The stranger turns back to her, scowling.

“Go anywhere but down the stairs and I’ll shoot you again.” Celestial says, her voice low and monotone, almost deadly “And if you take a step towards me, I’ll shoot you too.” This being directed at the man farther down the hall.

The stranger in front of her closes his eyes for a second and lets out a breath, trying to mentally prepare himself to make an attempt to grab the girl again. He opens his eyes and glares at the girl in an attempt to intimidate her, but she isn’t moved. He lets go of his side and begins to take a step towards her.

Celestial doesn’t let him do anything else. She pulls the trigger, the gun aimed just above the man’s right knee and it spits the bullet out at him, ripping through skin and bone. The man screams as the bullet tears its way through his leg and he tumbles backwards down the stairs. He lays in a heap at the bottom of the stairs clutching his leg with both hands in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Celestial swings the gun around to point at the other stranger in the hall with her. He raises both hands shoulder high, palms facing her. She flicks the barrel at the stairs, aiming it back at him after. “Down the stairs.”

He nods and slowly begins to walk towards her, his eyes not leaving her until he reaches the stairs. He turns away and heads down them quickly, stopping at the bottom to inspect his friend. “She really fucked you up man.”

"Get him out of here." The man in the suit says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Celestial steps up to the staircase, gun still in hand, and glances around the living room. She locks eyes with John and takes a single step down the stairs before he gives a small shake of his head. Celestial freezes in place, giving him a small nod in return. She glances around the rest of the area, taking in the other seven men in the room. She watches as the injured man is carried out before aiming the gun at the man in the suit.

John turns his glare on the well dressed man. “I’d leave now while you still can.” He growls.

The man turns to him, slipping his hand back into his pocket. “Yes, I suppose we should. But before I do, Mr. Wick, answer me this. How long do you think you can protect your daughter? You can’t watch her every second of the day. Everyone needs to sleep after all.” He begins to cross the room, making his way towards the front door. “Even the Baba Yaga.” He shrugs and smirks at John. “So, the way I see it, you can either puppy-guard your daughter for the rest of her life, or,” One of the other men hands him a file. “You can take the job and we’ll leave her and you alone.” He sets the file on the coffee table in front of John. “Your choice Mr. Wick.” With that final warning, he turns on his heel and leaves the house, his men following behind.

John and Celestial wait quietly until they hear car doors slam and the sound of the engines fade. Celestial shakily lowers the gun and takes another step down the stairs.

“Stay there.” John says before he flexes and jerks his arms sharply upwards, snapping the zip ties and pulling the pocket knife from his pocket to cut the ones around his ankles. He stands and does a quick search of the house, checking to be sure there is no one else in the house. Once he’s sure there’s no one in the house he opens the front door and leans out to check that the driveway is empty before shutting the door and heading back to the living room. He stops at the bottom of the stairs, avoiding the pool of blood and gestures for Celestial to come down to him. “Come here sweetheart. Come on.”

Celestial makes her way down the stairs towards him, the gun held loosely in her right hand. She gets a few stairs away from him and her face crumbles, a sob tearing its way out of her throat. She stumbles the last few steps into her father’s arms. He swings her up into his arms, taking the gun from her and holding her tight. “That was so sc-scary.” She manages to say through the tears.

“I know. I know it was, sweetheart.” He holds her head against his shoulder as he carries her into the kitchen. "You did so well though. You were so brave." He sets Celestial down on the island counter, putting the gun out of arms reach from her.

"I sh-sh-shot-"

"I know you did, Cel." He cups her face with both hands, wiping tears away with his thumbs. "You did what you had too. And that's okay. Look, you're okay. I'm okay. The dog is okay. We're okay, alright?" He tucks her hair behind her ears.

"Blu is okay?" She asks, her crying calming down to sniffles.

John nods, "He's fine. They put him in the garage. He's waiting for us. I'm going to go pack a bag for you, okay? Stay here."

Celestial nods, rubbing her eyes. "Okay."

John kisses the top of her head. "I'll be right back." He grabs the gun and tucks it into his waistband on his way out of the kitchen, stepping over the pool of blood and climbing the stairs three at a time. He gets to the top and makes his way to Celestial's room, noticing the purple blanket on the floor and pauses before snatching it up off the floor. He looks at it for a second, confused, and then sets it in the bin inside her door. He finishes packing the duffle bag she had left on her bed, making sure to pack her favorite sneakers and blanket. He looks around the room before adding her pillow as an afterthought. He zips the bag shut and swings it up onto his shoulder. He grabs her large stuffed bee off her bed and heads out the door, snagging Celestial's game bag on the way. He gets back to the kitchen and hands Celestial her bee. She takes it from him mechanically, her expression blank and eyes a bit glazed. "Come on, Celestie, let's go." He rests a hand on her shoulder and leads her out to the garage, picking up his duffle bag from the hall on the way. He opens the garage door, revealing a very happy dog, his tail and butt wagging as he stands by the door. He opens the car door and props the seat forward. He calls the dog over, having him jump in the back, and then sets the duffle bags in the back seat, before fixing the seat.

Celestial climbs into the passenger seat and shuts the door. She sets her bee on her lap and buckles herself in as John climbs into the car, setting her game backpack at her feet before shutting his own door. He hits the button to open the garage door as he buckles himself in and starts the car, bringing it roaring to life.

"Did you lock the doors?" Celestial asks in a soft voice.

John paused and looks at her. "No, I didn't." He unhooks his seatbelt and climbs out of the car. "Stay here." He quickly makes his way through the house, locking the doors and heads out through the livingroom back to the garage before hesitating by the coffee table. He looks at the file for a moment before snatching it up with a scowl and making his way back to the car, locking the garage door as he closes it. He slides the file into the side pocket of the car door as he gets in. He closes the door and puts his seatbelt back on. He begins to back the car out of the garage, glancing over at Celestial to see her staring at the file.

She looks up at him, "Dad?"

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart." He says quietly as he puts the car into drive and pulls away from the house, heading into the city.

~ ~ ~

Tag List:

@fanficsrusz @mikaneonox @celestiaelisia @ringa-starr

#The Wick Family #The Wick Family Part 3 #father!Wick #father!John Wick #daddy!Wick #daddy!John Wick #john wick x reader #john wick x you #dad!John Wick #dad!Wick #keanu reeves

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raguna-blade · 5 years

Text

Revolutionary Girl Utena Live(ish) Reaction Episodes 8-11

So it's a new year, and I'm gonna continue this, cause its' fun. Had a brief break cause of the holidays. And doing so, I figure i'm gonna do a thing where I make up a nice cleaned up version of these cause if nothing else I like organizing my thoughts. So Control F or whatever your find function is for the cleaned up version if that's your thing. It'll be under Overall Thoughts per ep. Or you know, you're me and you're going back through this for validation for whatever nonsense you say later.

Episode 8

Curry huh? And another recap? uh....

enmy remains trifling

hey wait egg time already?

Danger? Really?

Body swap? Also egg time is goofs

throwin hands????? anthy?

Yeah nanami it is ridiculous

JERSUS TOGA

nanami you idiot

She just fucked off to india to get some weird back alley spice

Shadow girls can you please, just please for a single episode.

ANTHY YOU LYING. Never been good at sports and you did that leap apparently pretty well? What the fuck.

Also, the switching thing here is mad suspect considering the end theme thing (and I suppose the opening.

Utena as Anthy : I don't want to be a sacrifice of the rose seal.

Anthy As Utena: I'm super down staying like this actually.

Like..This is just details that

Uh..Uh saionji what. The implications are strong here. Also, Douche canoe he is, but he's a romantic apparently? UUUUH. Exchange diary.

Is the “A” plot a distraction? Like for real.

Also she took that elephant to the dome.

I'm not sure how to take this personality switch. Like the minds thing whatever, but if it's just the personalties but not the person so to speak, hold on

WHAT THE FUCK. These elephants for fucking real?

Anyway, if they're just personalities altering the “person” it's uh...Interesting. I'm not sure how to take that til I get more info. It seems like a thing.

Also, Saionji apparently legit has feels for Anthy he's just...mad dumb about expressing it? Like he's pulling a lot of Badboy Romance Tropes here but...not...in a badboy romance. Which kills his behavior entirely.

Killed his Soul AGAIN. Damn.

Who's the divine justice for? Like it doesn't seem for nanami. Who fucked up. Presumably between anthy and utena.

Anthy what the actual fuck are you doing. Are you using gunpowder?

Homie, this isn't twilight, go home saionji.

Anthy as Utena(????) you trolling. So hard.

Saionji get's zero respect but dudes dedicated I'll give him that. Fitting for bad boy romance lead.

Uh...Wait, actually, are they all romance leads? Common ones in one way or the other. They are on the student Council so...Hm. I don't read enough romance stories of the variety I think but it seems to fit? I'm not sure what juri would be in that case.

Anyway, if this Episode Turns out to be a key for understanding things I'm gonna be pissed. Just a little.

Overall Thoughts: So this and the other “filler” episode is, especially after finishing my last ep in the session, read as anything but despite the obvious uh...antics on display. Like...

Ok, so the whole thing with the ending which frames Anthy and Utena as kinda the same (or rather exactly the same, except one's in red and the other pink) makes this whole episode feel like it's basically some kind of key for understanding everything else because it's simple times. It's goofy hilarity with Nanami that's the A Plot right hahahah....

Except the personality swap between the two of them is like...The implication here is that they swapped minds fully, and given the level of fairy tale bullshit that is at play constantly in this series so far it may well just be magic brand magic and we're supposed to roll with it. Ok. Fair.

Except...The thought that sits in my head is again, Anthy and Utena seem to equal each other. Hell I point it out slightly later that there's definitely this yin yang thing going on in the opening with the two which is so blatant as to be meaningless because Hah Yeah these are our two leads obvs and they're important to each other so hahah don't worry about or think about it check out these SWEET SWORDSMANSHIP MOMENTS FROM EVERYONE LOOK AT THE BUDGET AND COOL HORSES AND CASTLES HAHAHA.

But ok, if it's a Yin Yang thing, yes they're not the same but they have elements of each other within eachother. So if it's just a personality swap but not an actual soul swap thing, that is, Anthy is just acting like Utena's personality is in her, and Utena is just acting like Anthy's personality is in her it paints this picture of Utena and Anthy as having a lot going on under the surface. I mean obviously Anthy is fucking pissed at Saionji. That was really really evident in episode one because if she's just being submissive rosebride I do what i'm told and I do what i'm told I do what i'm told, the very very very sharp dig of “We're Just classmates” is fucking brutal unnecessity. And given that she DOES know what he feels for her, and he's still acting like that, her being vindictive(or just brusque really, he's being an ass full bore) is like...absolutely reasonable.

Her Slapping back and about to throw hands with her tormentors? Who wouldn't want to right?

But then, ok that's Anthy, but what about Utena. If it's just a mind swap, Utena...want's a very defined existence? Like, she wants to just stick to a role? Feels weird, and doesn't quite immediately jive with her cause that seems against her operations right? Except, as this episode so kindly reminds us (for at least the third time in 8 episodes which seems excessive. I might be forgetting one or two) Utena's whole thing coming to this school is I want to play the Role of the Prince, whatever that actually means. Playing the Rose Bride would be no real difference, except it's way more submissive.

So that aside, Saionji saying he's in love with Anthy (and that seems to be something he at least believes to be true. He honestly seems more into Toga. Like for real for real, all the imagery of those flashbacks reads not just as close buddies, but as I am romantically down with you Toga my guy. Him being Bi is probably the easiest answer, and he just drifted away from Toga for a while. Saionji clearly sees him as a friend and rival, although it's seemingly not reciprocated at the moment.

But the thing, the thing that's kinda weird to me, is that if he does legit have feelings for her, I was struck with this odd vibe that he's playing at being a romance lead. Specifically, a Bad Boy romance lead. And doing so SPECTACULARLY badly. Homeboy is sitting here busting out poetry (unless my brain is being a dumb and i'm somehow overlaying him with Tatewaki Kuno from Ranma which ok, weird but alright) but...

Ok, if he is playing at being a Badboy Romance lead, that actually explains his behavior for how he was treating Anthy, especially if he's legit in his feelings for her? Possessive, Radiates Danger, Engages in Creepy Behavior, is a bit of a dick, etc. It lines up with Being a Bad Boy, except that the way that those usually work out in fiction, as I understand it, they're not usually like...gonna hit you. That breaks the fantasy. But...That's him fucking up the archetype. It doesn't fit for him. He doesn't understand what he's doing in that archetype.

Like yes, abusers and the like can care and still be absuers cause fucked up behavior and motivations don't need to match in the least, but it still feels odd that a man who probably literally could have done any number of fucked up things has...an exchange diary with the girl he says he cares about? And it's not like he's unaware of how submissive/passive she is, his exchange diary actually kinda reads like Utena's Anthy is A Real Girl! Activities*. He wants her to be active part of whatever their relationship is and...Eh.

But ok, if he's that, It suggests the rest of the student council, and duelists in general, would fit into a given archetype right? Toga is clearly the super cool intelligent superman student council president, Juri is basically charisma max Jock, Miki is the cute nerd, Nanami is the Ojou villainess type, Utena is...Basically the Hero type, just morals, strains to upset the status quo, Has the Cool Original Uniform.

And they all kinda fit into those pretty thoroughly, kinda like they're trying to (to varying levels of awareness)

Anyway, I'll hit on some of the other stuff in the next Ep. It's a bit more relevant there I think.

*See Me In Episode 11

Episode 9

I just realized they're doing some kinda yinyang thing in the opening so

R V G FIGHT.

Pretty tense there. Toga went straight for the heart which i'm sure means nothing.

Old Friends? Phrasing seems uh...odd? Unsure if it's dub things or actual subtext. Or both.

Dude you really got beef with a monkey? No, utena.

Being a huge dick. As is tradition.

10 Years.

Saionji: Actually love her (said) but

This is mad gay. Like the lighting, the silhouette. Saionji you're sublimating something here.

Music, Silhouettes.

...Silhouettes show truth? uh.

They were Utena's folks funeral? Huh. Also, why on earth would Utena be kidnapped? Who she be?

….Three coffins. Uh. Uhhhhhh. Utena, Toga, Saionji? UuuuHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?

Dead utena. Uh.

Toga: Ally to all women. Ok.

...Why is there a third coffin?

Something Eternal huh? And Utena wants to die for reasons understandable.

Find another coffin. Rose Sigils on the coffins. Uh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Saionji: Hey, this is nuts, we should stop her.

Toga: Nah, I'm gonna Ennable the shit out of this.

Tiny Utena with the White Rose?

Saionji: Did he do something to her?

Toga: Nope

Uh....

Anthy: Something Eternal in the castle. I want to go there.

Also impressive grip strength considering. Flat.

Does Toga Remember this or...? I can't be sure. Saionji certainly didn't recognize her, but he wasn't like right on top of the trauma child.

Toga white roses? Uh? Uhhhhh. I think he definitely remembers. But questions abound.

Ufo's shadow girls? Shadow girls having flesh is deeply concerning.

TRUE FRIENDS ARE JUST FANTASIES. OK.

And UFO's broke, so that's probably not great. Who's getting the Revelations today.

That is the fakest voice toga what the fuck

Badboy Saionji: We're Gonna get the eternity.

Also, I just realized they (saionji and anthy) have color inversions going on which is making me kinda wonder if they're related in some way?

Just slap the shit out of him that's fair.

Ok, so Saionji didn't(?) do the dumb thing. Ok,

that is...a coffin. That he's 100% obssessed with. With Anthy (Utena) inside.

He's looking like he kissed his own mom right now, goin full oedipus in the holy shit revelations here.

Castle is crumbling, falling down. So...Eternity is Fake. Ok. Sure. Didn't shadow girls say that?

Castle Immediately tried to kill him. Crushed his soul 1 time too many there I suppose.

Utena, meanwhile, dove super deep into saving anthy which...diving deeper into the fantasy?

Yeah, they all just saw things.

Saionji: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED WHATS GOING ON?

Bro, me too.

Ok, if the two are reflections, does Anthy and saionji both got some deep illusory bullshit going on? Are they both freaking out?

Toga, saving the day, and Saionji, tried to kill Utena with a sword. so. Ok.

Saionji Expelled? Toga, fool for thinking they're friends?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?

Overall Thoughts: I touched on a bunch of the Saionji stuff I wanna talk about in the last episode review, but the thing I kinda want to look at here is well...

Ok, Now the colors probably don't mean anything, but there was this moment that Saionji and Anthy were in the same shot and I suddenly realized they're color flips of each other. Purple hair green eyes, Green Hair Purple eyes, which ok that's interesting.

So we already have Utena Reflecting on Anthy, and hey, there's Zero Reason, absolutely negative number reasons why that wouldn't necessarily be the case with any and all of the rest of the duelists to some degree or another.

And hell, the fact that we keep flipping back and forth between Utena and Anthy in Coffins, there being (for some weird ass reason) a third entirely unrelated coffin for Utena's folks funeral, why the fuck not right?

So ok, Anthy and Saionji mirror each other which...Ok. If the Personality Swap from Episode 8 thing holds, The two actually share some pretty dickish actions. They can be cruel and petty and just antagonistic to things that don't quite jive with what they want. Saionji with Anthy not being...whatever he's expecting out of her, or Utena butting in. Anthy with the girls who keep fucking with her and Saionji.

They both seem to be utterly STUCK on the Rose Bride thing, although from different angles of Possessing the Rosebride and being the Rosebride, and the kind of weird shaping of the Rosebride thing that's going on.

Saionji is treated as a joke by the student council, especially after he get's kicked out, which ultimately ends with him being someone who is generally wanted but ends up ultimately exiled from society. Which mirrors with Anthy as someone is is wanted, but doesn't seem to have ANY kind of actual tangible bonds with anyone.

And, for this last one I have ZERO evidence on the Anthy end, but the suggestions are uh..interesting. Saionji in this episode, as suggested by the shadow girls at least in part, is deeply deeply invested in a fantasy of some kind, one that ultimately leaves him crushed and rather empty, further exiled from people who could or do care for him and that he cares about. Which if we're going with the property sliding across and He's a Foil for Utena (which I think is definitely true in some ways) suggests bad things for her down the line.

Episode 10

Saionji's a joke huh? He's taking it well.

Toga WOW. WOW YOU FUCKING DOUCHE. STRAIGHT IN THE FIRE HUH.

EGG TIME.

So, thing about eggs, that includes whats inside it right? so...Revolutionize yourself right? Right? That's obvious right?

Oh new duelist. Cool cool.

Utena getting slapped. By Nanami. With Utena being hella submissive. (EPISODE 8 FLASHBACKS INTENSIFY)

maybe a girl can't be a prince. THERES THAT THESIS. E8 FLASHBACKS

Nanami got her brother a kitty.

Oh damn it is Nanami. Duel Time. I mean we sall it in the opening but you know.

Jesus Toga, please stop being

OH GOD NANAMI NO. NOOOOOO NOPE NO.

Toga: We ain't kids no more. Shit don't fly.

Nanami: Emotionally devastated.

Is that Miki's sister?

Hey, what happened to the cat?

Juri: Hey, Serious Business, what the fucks up with the duelist?

Toga is perpatrating as badly as nanami actually. He's just less immediately obvious about it I guess.

Goddamnit there's Anthy's next slap. Jesus. Legit, who hasn't at this point. Is this a theme? IS THIS A THING?

Jesus, he's just playing all of this to piss her off? What the fucks up.

...Did nanami kill the cat. Uh...Uhhhhhh.

Ring is an engagement ring. Wait, that's a flat out school rule that everyone knows? For real? Uh.

...What the fuck happened with the kitty. Uh...

ITS TIME. ABSOLUTE DESTINYYYYYYYYYYYY

I just realized the kinda weird framing with Anthy dressing up utena kinda looks like her opening her legs up with the way it get's framed and I'm not sure if that's me just kinda over reading things or if that's a thing.

Nanami's duel outfit is SICK. Also, a yellow alt color of utena.

Actually. ACTUALLY? Is...Is Nanami like an Utena Alt color? That can't be right. Actually looking at them right next to each other they're...straight up alt colors of each other. Not to mention Nanami's my prince thing mirrors Utena.

She just HOT pulled a knife. Oh she's About to fucking hot MERC utena, going for death jessus.

They're supposed to be around the same age too for that matter right?

She absolutely killed that cat and it's...

With her hair down she does look like an utena alt color even more.

Why's the duel music still going after the duel finished. Jesus. This wasn't a duel with Nanami, it was a duel with Toga, and I think Utena Hot lost it out and out.

Overall Thoughts: Well the Big thing I'm paying attention here are two. First the simpler one.

The Egg has to break the shell of the world to be born right? I'm paraphrasing badly, but the thing is the way they keep phrasing that is that the World is the Egg, but the egg isn't just the shell right? It includes what's inside of it. Which if that's the case, mixed with the way that duels work out being more a clash of ideals than of actual tangible skill, the revolutionize the world bit seems to be referring to them themselves, that is the duelists.

Alternatively, the Bird Referenced, the thing being revolutionized is Anthy. Which...Is an interesting line of thought. Given the Duels as a whole are basically choosing who her fiance will be, that'd imply that ultimately this decides the way that Anthy would come to develop? Or how she chooses to develop? Which ok if so, and the way that Ideals seem to be at play, Suggests...What? Dunno. Need more info, which will be delivered later.

But the other thing here, continuing the mirroring thing, which might be me reading too deeply, but I think not and even if it is Whatever I'm having fun.

THE ENTIRE NANAMI DUEL felt like a Mirror Match.Heck, Nanami dressed like an alt color of Utena, and especially once her hair got undone she looked even more like an alt color of Utena. They're only about a year different in age, and her brother seems to be her Prince type, and he drops the ring on her like an engagement ring, and she basically says I fight like my brother because he's my ideal.

Which is a weird thing since right now it's not going...too far. I'll have to see how it shakes out, but if the mirroring thing continues, the fact that the moment she lost she basically said nope fuck that, Knife Time, was...Concerning. It says real concerning things with Utena.

But it also says other interesting things then, because if Nanami is supposed to be some kind of Alt color Utena, similar in ambition goals and the like, if more outwardly girly to Utena's princey thing, their relationship with Anthy is uh..

Uh...

Well put simply, Utena is fucking up big and dramatic with Anthy, and she doesn't realize it at all or care because she can't see it for what it is. Nanami actively tries to undermine Anthy, and does some fucked up things to her. Which..Makes me wonder about the Divine Judgement thing from Episode 8 which, damnably, seems to be forming some kind of key here.

Like the way it's frame suggests the divine Judgement being visited upon Nanami is what's being talked about. But ok, Nanami had some bad shit happen to her sure, but...All of that was self inflicted upon her trying to fix what she percieves as a problem. Yes her reasons for doing it are so she can be with her brother, no doubt, but...They're ridiculous. Like, I cannot believe this shit is happening. But

But

If the Target of Divine Judgement/punishment is the Anthy Utena duo, one or both of them are on the receiving end of it. It's not clear how Acting like Utena would be a punishment for Anthy (I'm sticking with it just being a personality swap and not a full mind swap) but Utena who prides herself on being princely and aspires to that being the super submissive rosebride? I could see that being a kind of hell for her. And if the logic of Utena is Undermining Anthy holds out, but the criitcal difference being her ignorance and dishonesty of why compared to Nanami unabashedly saying yes I am fucking doing this fuck you I get what I want no hold barred, it...

Like, Nanami, as far as it goes, doesn't really receive a punishment if we're being honest. Yes she takes a couple of elephants to the dome, and has to be away from her brother and see her thing fail but..The way it's treated by herself and everyone else is basically a LOL THESE THINGS HAPPEN I GUESS HAHAHA. The Utena/Anthy swap meanwhile seems considerably more serious for them (especially considering the Everyone Slaps Anthy thing that seems to legit be a thing. Somehow. Except here Applied to “Utena”), and seems to cause some serious distress.

We'll see I guess.

Episode 11

As I watch this opening more and more, why is anthy like constantly framed like...Ominous as shit? Is it me?

Homegirl is just. Damn. Sure glad NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN (I do not trust this series to not have something bad happen to Wakaba. Again.)

Anthy. Are..are you...passive aggressively doing...something

Toga: I can see through the illusions yeah boi.

I do not trust this for an inch. He is abusing the shit out of his framing, like the whole time, and I don't trust.

Toga is “student council prince” archetype. Miki's nerdy student counciler.

EGG TIME

Juri is...Antagonistic But well meaning?

Saionji...I'm not sure he was actually on the stuco. But if so, bad boy.

What....is with the balloons. The color coded balloons.

Miki: Like a Pet Cat.

The Pet Cat that died, got killed.

WHAT IS WITH THESE BALLOONS.

ALSO I SEENT YOU PURPLE BALLOON.

So if the duels are ideal clashes more than actually a matter of direct skill, is this Toga (touga?) trying to fuck with Utena before the fight?

Anthy is a Bird. Ok. And Toga, arguably, being the biggest dick here. We thought it was Saionji, but the trick was he's the red part of the rose.

Anthy shut down REAL quick when being the rose bride was brought up.

Is Utena projecting mad hard onto Anthy here?

Homeboy needs to stop playing these games.

Utena, Stahp. DO NOT TRUST HIM.

Toga, You...DOUCHE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Toga: Oh My B, Shouldn't act that way in front of the rose bride. ALSO DUELING LETS GOOOOO.

Utena: one link forces me to fight him. Meanwhile, rose symbols everywhere, a lot of them brought in by anthy.

Hmmmmmmm.

Utena is hard not understanding something here. I don't know what (rose bride related for sure) but I don't get...WHAT is off here.

Cause thinking about it, Utena's objective with Anthy is arguably the most noble, but she's still not quite treating anthy as a person.

….William Tell Interlude is SUITABLY CONCERNING considering the above thoughts so uh.

Also that was a weirdly specific number. 30K arrows or something?

I just realized that the DARKNESS OF DARKNESS OF LIGHT OF DESTINY OF (INSERT) things seems to show up right around anthy a lot. I'm not super sure if that's a whole thing or just a this episode thing, but...

Is Utena about to get HOT DUNKED? Because I think she is.

Also, I just realized, Utena slid into that pull sword out of rose bride thing right quick and she's never once questioned that.

So yes, Utena has BOOTY but cheeks swordsmanship, which yeah, obvs. Two of the people she beat were actually skilled before this fight, and yet she won somehow.

I don't know how to deal with these lyrics. But Toga is absolutely fucking with her head here.

And She Lost. Decisively. YUP. WELP THIS IS GONNA BE A THING NEXT TIME.

Toga: Hey you don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore.

Utena is doing the EXACT same shit Miki and Saionji were pulling, and Anthy's blank soulless stare is freaking me the hell out. Again.

So, ideals here. But the idea that whoever has a...better grasp of the truth is the victor. Which makes sense that Toga wins here.

Jesus, Soul crush 2.0, except it's on Utena this time. Goddamn.

WELL NEXT EPISODE PROMISES TO BE FUN.

Utena: ITS NOT TRUE. ITS NOT TRUE!

The Anime Revolutionary Girl Utena IMMEDIATELY: MISSING TRUTH ETCETC HOLD ME IN YOUR TRUE ARMS I WANT TO KEEP SMASHING LIES APART

SURE THAT MEANS NOTHING GUYS GGNORE.

Also, no joke, these seem like a Direct response to this episode and I'm not sure how to feel about that.

I want to be hated by lies? Uhhhhh.

Overall Thoughts: So Hey, Here we are in Episode 11 and I want to talk about how Utena and Saionji basically are each other right here.

Like overtly even I think, even if the actions aren't precise clean mirrors to each other which I guess is just how i'm going to be going through this series right now RiP.

But ok, here's the thing. What has been increasingly clear as time goes by is that Utena is fundamentally misunderstanding something about Anthy. I'm not sure fully what it is, but it's clearly Rosebride related, and the thing with the clashing ideals suggests that the.

Actually let me explain that clear like. Right now my read on the Duels is that they are NOT in any way shape or form a demonstration of skill. I Think that's clear through this point, but I'm making it explicit for my own sake. The Victor of the Duel isn't the better fighter. If that were the case, It'd suggest the only ones in the running at all would be Toga or Saionji (Juri should also be in here, but I'm not actually clear how skilled she is compared to those two, and the way they're treated suggests that Toga and Saionji are comparable in pure skill/ability.)

But Utena somehow beat Saionji like three times, Juri and Miki. Miki's whatever, but Juri clearly knows what she's doing, and Saionji seems to be Kendo Team captain so you know. Up there. Meanwhile, Utena explicitly is an amateur.

I'm not saying, in full, that actual skill with the blade is a null thing, but your ideals seems to be the biggest factor over everything else. Presumably, people rocking equally “powerful” ideals would fall to skill with the sword.

Anyway. The Truths that Seem to be critical are Anthy Wants to Be Free of the Rosebride. Ok, so Utena has the right read then right? But then she lost to Toga who seems to be rocking Anthy Wants to Be, or else Considers herself fundamentally to be, the Rosebride, which is something that Utena seems to be denying about Anthy, but is none the less true.

But then, How are Utena and Saionji the same? Well, remember an episode back where I was talking about the divine punishment thing and all that jazz from episode 8?

It hits both of them for mistreating the Rosebride. There is a fantasy going on between Utena and Saionji, and while Saionji's is a bit complicated and unclear I think, Utena's actually is pretty straightforward I think. Utena want's to be a prince. That's her fantasy. The general virtues she want's to possess are great. Good even. But the specific's seems to involve a kind of rides in and saves the day riding in on a white horse thing, where she's the hero and does for some poor unfortunate girl what her prince did to her.

Saionji's meanwhile, seems to be something of him having a genuine reciprocal relationship with Anthy, with him inhabiting the role of a badboy romantic lead while the two of them have feelings for each other. When, really, he doesn't seem to care for her, or at least the feelings that he has for her are considerably weaker than whatever awkward feelings he has going on for Toga (I'm seriously a little fuzzy here, cause it feels like following his most recent defeat he's rocking some kind of clarity? I don't know how it's gonna work out, but I could sorta see him Returning and upsetting whatever the then status quo is.)

But notably, the big thing between them is their staunch refusal to accept what seems to be really true about their relationship with Anthy.

That the end theme seems to immediately pop up as an answer to Utena's reaction feels...Purposeful.

#revolutionary girl utena #liveblogish #In which I just have to accept that i'm probably gonna be looking at foils everywhere for everything #Things Get Spicy #I should really consider getting images but for right now i refuse.#liveblog

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