#guiltypleasurehcblog

[in-tua-deep]

so in that jumping forward AU.... Is Klaus okay in that one? Cause it occurs to me that the apocalypse likely has A LOT of very confused and scared ghosts around

(referring to this post here!!)

HMM well it depends - ghosts in the show seem to haunt specific people as far as I can tell? Like Ben haunts Klaus and in the hotel room all those people followed Hazel and Cha-Cha? Then again there’s also the mausoleum which is presumably where their bodies were stored??? So????? @ writers please tell me how ghosts work in the umbrella academy universe

so there’s two options

a) there are no ghosts at the end of the world because there’s no one to haunt and all the ghosts moved on

b) there’s ghosts everywhere haunting their own bodies where they dropped  and are tied to their corpses

c) they haunt where they were murdered (in which case why do the mausoleum ghosts haunt the mausoleum? reggie? got something to tell us?)/who they were murdered by

speaking of i would also like to figure out how time travel works and affects ghosts because Hazel and Cha-Cha were haunted so are they only haunted by the ghosts of people they killed prior to the time period they are currently in or do the ghosts follow them in their personal timeline regardless of where they are in the official timeline ??? 

Like if Five prevents the apocalypse, then thirteen year old Five wouldn’t jump there and wouldn’t be recruited by the Commission and so the people Five killed would still be alive ???????

(hmm does that mean that the lack of tech in the umbrella academy universe was a purposeful move on the part of the commission ?? that if they didn’t interfere in history then it would be our universe?)

wait does this mean that they’re going to stop the apocalypse and then like a few days later an actually thirteen year old five is going to pop up?

someone remind me to explore that thought later

BUT BACK TO THE ORIGINAL QUESTION Klaus is probably okay because Ben is willing be a scary guard ghost and also tbh like the non-mausoleum ghosts seemed? pretty chill? like talkative yeah but not scary and I’m pretty sure if Klaus asked most of them nicely to go away or told them they were working on going back in time to stop the apocalypse they’d leave him alone so he could get to it? and for the more insistent ghosts,, well,,, clearly ben is capable of using his tentacles in ghost form and also he’s very committed to helping Klaus keep sober sO

Klaus is actually probably the most useful member of the party after Five though because out of all of them it’s Klaus who is used to being homeless and rooting and scavenging to survive and also has Ben as a scout which is nice

(hey do y’all think any of the squads powers affect their metabolism because now that i’m thinking about it Klaus has a power that is always ‘on’ which might explain why he’s constantly hungry in the show ?)

but yeah either there’s no ghosts and Klaus is fine or there’s a whole bunch of ghosts and Klaus and the squads camp out in like,, I dunno,, a park or some flattened woods where no one was around at the time to die so there’s no corpses for their ghosts to haunt and give Klaus a reprieve uwu

[armandyke]

On the Klave before Reggie’s death thing: Last time the siblings saw Klaus was either: A ) Allison’s wedding where Klaus shows up with this wonderful goof of a man and its very cute B ) At the Klave wedding and that was the first time they all met Dave

Mamma mia-esque storyline where Dave invites all Klaus’ siblings (whom he has not been in contact with since he was a teenager) to his wedding mostly as a joke because he doesn’t think they’ll actually show up but then they’re all there and he has to elaborately attempt to hide them all from Klaus until the wedding because he knows he’ll be so mad about it. 

Meanwhile Klaus finds all of them crammed into a fucking shed or something and is like what the fuck are you all doing here and they all make up equally ridiculous excuses as to why they’re all in the same place at the same time specifically two days before his wedding that they ABSOLUTELY have no idea about and he has to also elaborately attempt to hide them all from Dave until the wedding because he knows Dave will immediately try to beat them all up. 

[aceofwhump]

guiltypleasurehcblog replied to your post “Decided to try and sort all the fics I have bookmarked into some sort...”

Probably because you are a wonderful human who genuinely wanted to help both yourself and others easily find whump fic

Awww shuck! You’re so nice. I really do hope this helps. When I’m done I’ll share it will you guys so can you can all look up fics and see the kind of crap I read lol. And who I whump most ;)

[thewatermelloncat]

White Sheets and Not So Stupid Ideas

Summary: Prompt given to me by @guiltypleasurehcblog asking for some kind of Season 2 allergic Klaus.

Author’s Note: I know that the actual scene takes place at night but I changed it to daytime just because I wanted to, I guess.

Warnings: Mild sexual reference

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Klaus wanted to say that returning to the mansion was like reuniting with a long-lost friend, but it wasn’t. In truth he really had nowhere else to go. As his shoes crunch against the gravel of the driveway he thinks to himself that maybe inheriting the building was the most fortunate thing about him landing in the 1960s – maybe even the most fortunate thing about his whole life.

From the moment he’d met the kind old lady he’d been captivated by her Channel shoes and giving heart. It didn’t matter that she was years older than him, she looked after him, took him places around the world from Mexico to India then back over to San Francisco. It didn’t matter that it was highly possible she kept him around only for his powers, she was constantly telling him and others how great he was. He’d never had anything like that before.

Without a thought he smashes through the small pane of glass above the door handle. It had been months since he’d forgotten where the spare key is. All he really wants to do is get inside and crash for a bit. He can think about fixing it later, if at all.

“You know the spare key is under the mat” Ben sighs with his arms crossed, leaning against a cabinet.

“I forget” Klaus waves a hand of dismissal as he walks past him into the centre of the sitting room.

“Now you have to fix the window” Ben points out.

Klaus makes a humming sound of ‘I don’t know’ before he breaks off and exclaims “duct tape!”

Ben raises an eyebrow.

“I’ll duct tape it later” Klaus finalises with a clap of his hands. “But first I need a place to crash.”

“Well take your pick of chairs” Ben drones unenthusiastically, gesturing to various furnishings covered in white sheets.

“Mhmm, so grateful” Klaus jabs at him. “You’d think you should be thanking me since we have a place to come anyway.”

As he finishes his sentence, he pulls off a white sheet with a flourish sending tiny particles of dust sailing into the air, sniffling afterwards as they assault his nose.

“Why do you even come back here?” Ben asks. “Wouldn’t it be nicer to have your own place that you actually worked for?”

“What do you mean I didn’t work for this one?” Klaus pauses to sniff into the back of his hand. “We travelled the world together” he finishes before sniffing again.

“Oh, come on! Don’t start this fake crying with me” Ben misreads Klaus’ commencing battle with the dust.

“No, it’s not that” Klaus dismisses, unhurt by Ben’s tone.

“What is it then?” Ben’s tone softens but there’s still an urgency to it.

“I think I…” Klaus trails off, beginning to look up at the roof like he’s looking for inspiration. “I-I think I n-need…”

“Need what, Klaus?” Ben snaps impatiently.

“Need to… to… sn-snee’heeze” Klaus’ breath hitches wildly before he pitches forward, “Haa'ekkSHIEW!”

Ben hums matter-of-factly. “Bless you” he condemns.

“I’ve already been blessed” Klaus tells him as he straightens up and sniffles again.

“But as I was saying, wouldn’t it be nicer to have a place you can call your own?” Ben continues on. “I know this one was left for you but – Klaus, are you even listening?” Ben interrupts himself when he sees his brother isn’t looking at him.

“Gonna s-sn-sneeze ah-huh… a-again” Klaus breathes out, his jaw slack and eyes closed. Following his sentence his chest expands deeply as his breath hitches. “Hehh’aATSCHIEW, Hehh'kSHEW-WHOooo!” he finishes the final sneeze in a loud exclamation, true to his dramatic form.

“God sakes Klaus, cover your mouth” Ben chastises after watching him sneeze openly again.

“I don’t know what’s gotten me so sneezy” Klaus mutters as he rubs a palm against his nose.

“It’s the dust” it doesn’t take Ben long to deduce, seeing the fine particles drifting in the sunlight. “Must have flown off the sheet when you pulled it off.”

“Well it can’t be any other allergies… i-it’s close to winter” Klaus’ theatrically fans a hand in front of his face as he gears up for another sneeze. “Hup’ESCHhm!” he leans forward, shielding them behind the white sheet.

Ben rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue in frustration. “Not into the thing that you’re allergic to!”

“You - hea'Eschoo - said to cover them!” Klaus whines before he twists into his elbow. “EhskTCHH… EKTCHHhhuhh!”

“Great job, now you’ve made it worse” Ben gestures exasperatedly to him.

“H-have to admit” Klaus starts, his breath hitching again before he gets it under control. “It’s kind of hot though.”

Ben says nothing, only stares at him confused.

“You know people say a sneeze is like an eighth of an orgasm” Klaus says and Ben raises his eyebrows humourlessly. “Does that mean that if I sneeze one more time, I’m going to reach climax?”

Ben scoffs in repulsion. “You’re disgusting!”

“You need to become more adventurous in – hih’huhh… hihh… hhuh-AKSHhew!” Klaus huffs, seemingly in disappointment before muttering, “didn’t happen.”

“Go, get outside” Ben tries to shoo him away.

“I don’t want to go outside.”

“You need to get away from all the dust, at least until it settles down.”

“But there’s nothing to do outside” Klaus whines.

“I don’t know… go for a swim or something” Ben suggests with a shrug of his shoulders.

Klaus pauses, running a hand under his nose roughly as he sniffles. Now that sounds like a not so stupid idea.

[imsorryithurts]

Happy Whumpmas (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*🎅⛄❄️!!! You have just been snowballed by a secret whumper. Help to keep the snowball fight going by anonymously sending this to five other whumpers with a whump-related question of your choice: Who are some characters you can never -no matter how hard you try -find whump for?

Hi!! Thank you for the snowball!! Sorry for the delay, I was kinda... Stressed, I guess?

I’m not usually attached to one character to whump, but if I know for a fact we don’t have enough Jake Peralta whump in this world. I’m very grateful to @guiltypleasurehcblog for rec-ing me “Connectivity Problems”.

I hope you had nice holidays!! :)

[generoushelpingofwhump]

Ahhhh! Thank you for the tag, @scath001!

Name: Cara

Birthday: 7th January

Zodiac sign: Capricorn

Height: last I checked, 163cm, or 5'4ish.

Hobbies: Archery, reading, writing, language-learning, knife throwing.

Favourite colour(s): Red, gold, black, and blue.

Favourite books: Delirium (Lauren Oliver), the Gone series (Michael Grant), and the Wheel of Time series (Robert Jordan).

Last song listened to: Another Place to Fall (KT Tunstall)

Last film watched: Baby Driver

Inspiration for muse: I get inspired by literally everything and anything. Music, nature, history and stories, people around me.

Dream job: I'd absolutely love to be a pilot, but I'll settle for ethical hacker.

Meaning of URL: I like the colour gold, and it is a whump blog. I'm not overly creative with usernames, ever.

Apologies if you've been tagged before, but I'd like to tag:

@whumpers-galore

@sara8573

@mortiferumsolanum

@guiltypleasurehcblog

@maybeawhumpblog

@whump-palace and

@whoomp-whumped

O908 People I’d Like to Know Better

Aww thanks for the tag @shameless-whumper

1. Name. Abi

2. Birthday. May 4th

3. Zodiac Sign. Taurus

4. Height. idk, about 5′4″? 

5. Hobbies. Writing, reading, watching films. Occasionally doodle something but I never was that good.

6. Favorite Color[s]. Blue and indigo.

7. Favorite Books.

Where do I begin.

An Ember in the Ashes (and it’s sequel, a Torch Against the Night) by Sabaa Tahir.

The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling.

The Cliffehaven Series by Ellie Dean.

Theodore Boone Series by John Grisham (book 7 just came out! tbh I love a lot of John Grisham’s stuff. The Chamber? A Time to Kill? all faves)

8. Last Song Listened To. Kimi no Kioku (Memories of You) from the Persona game series.

9. Last Film Watched. Aladdin (2019)

10. Inspiration For Muse. Kind of like Jay. I enjoy creating something, or writing an idea whilst I have it. Generally I will have phases of like immense creativity and then it dies out

11. Dream job. To be honest, I’m floundering a little because I don’t know what I want to do. Like, at all. I think I’d like to work in translation work, I guess, with English and Polish but I’m not knowledgeable enough in Polish to do that and it’s a little disheartening.

12. Meaning of URL. The blog name says it all tbh. I literally found out what the word “whump” was at the start of May this year.

Sorry if you’ve already been tagged BUT I’m tagging: @givemethatwhump @justplainwhump @pythagoreanwhump @bigbangwhump @scath001 @thatsgonnaleaveamark @whumpitywhumpwhump @straight-to-the-pain

[armandyke]

Woke: Ben POV chapter All sighs and sarcastic commentary that nobody but Klaus can hear

The whole chapter is just Ben being like “Klaus? Klaus? Klaus? Klaauuus? Klaus? KLAUS??” “WHAT!?” “hi”

[armandyke]

so I was rereading the last chapter of WYGC and I had to pause to ask WHY Diego let that raccoon into Klaus’ room What was he doing? Still deserves rights but @Diego w h a t

Diego: [sees a raccoon]

Diego’s chaotic brother brain: Hey you know what would be hilarious

[armandyke]

DAVE HAS CHINCHILLAS

HE DOES

[armandyke]

so if Bonnie Grace is the Klave kid, are M and Lara the Eueigo kids?

Patch is like for the love of god please stop adopting kids we only have one guest room but he just can’t stop

[armandyke]

guiltypleasurehcblog replied to your post “I know I wrote wygc myself but every time I remember that part in...”

Maybe he did one time and got set up with somebody strange

Klaus is telling Diego about the guy he invited over for him like “yea you’ll love him he’s really tall he has a sleeve tattoo and a foot fetish and last time I saw him he had a beard which really worked for him” and Diego is like “he has a what” and Klaus is like “a beard”

[armandyke]

hey river so I just discovered the Bonnie Grace au and I AM DYING its all so sweet and I’m in love with the whole idea my heart is MELTING

Bonnie is my favourite little bean and Klaus would be SUCH A GOOD DAD he’d love her

[armandyke]

okay but what about taurus-es? Do taureans deserve any rights

Tauruses deserve all their rights