#guess you could say heart had a bad case of heartburn

[hms-incorrect-quotes]

Heart: I'm going to get myself some soup.

Mind: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.

Heart: Pfft, I won't burn myself.

{30 seconds later}

Heart [entering the room]: I burned myself.

[xtruss]

Forget A Ban — Why Are Journalists Using TikTok In The First Place?

I’m a Security Researcher Working in the Journalism Field, and I’m Here to Rain on Your Dangerous, Dumb Parade.

— Nikita Mazurov | April 7, 2024

The TikTok logo displayed on a laptop screen with a glowing keyboard in Krakow, Poland, on March 3, 2024. Photo: Klaudia Radecka/NurPhoto via Getty Images

As Far As I know, there are no laws against eating broken glass. You’re free to doomscroll through your cabinets, smash your favorite water cup, then scarf down the shards.

A ban on eating broken glass would be overwhelmingly irrelevant, since most people just don’t do it, and for good reason. Unfortunately, you can’t say the same about another dangerous habit: TikTok.

As a security researcher, I can’t help but hate TikTok, just like I hate all social media, for creating unnecessary personal exposure.

As a security researcher working in journalism, one group of the video-sharing app’s many, many users give me heartburn. These users strike a particular fear into my heart. This group of users is — you guessed it — my beloved colleagues, the journalists.

TikTok, of course, isn’t the only app that poses risks for journalists, but it’s been bizarre to watch reporters with sources to protect express concern about a TikTok ban when they shouldn’t be using the platform in the first place. TikTok officials, after all, have explicitly targeted reporters in attempts to reveal their sources.

My colleagues seem to nonetheless be dressing up as bullseyes.

Ignoring TikTok’s Record

Impassioned pleas by reporters to not ban TikTok curiously omit TikTok’s most egregious attacks on reporters.

In his defense of TikTok, the Daily Beast’s Brad Polumbo offers a disclaimer in the first half of the headline — “TikTok Is Bad. Banning It Would Be Much Worse” — but never expands upon why. Instead, the bulk of the piece offers an apologia for TikTok’s parent company, ByteDance.

Meanwhile, Vox’s A.W. Ohlheiser expatiates on the “both/and” of TikTok, highlighting its many perceived benefits and ills. And yet, the one specific ill, which could have the most impact on Ohlheiser and other reporters, is absent from the laundry list of downsides.

The record is well established. In an attempt to identify reporters’ sources, ByteDance accessed IP addresses and other user data of several journalists, according to a Forbes investigation. The intention seems to have been to track the location of the reporters to see if they were in the same locations as TikTok employees who may have been sources for stories about TikTok’s links to China.

— Not Only Did TikTok Surveil Reporters In Attempts To Identify Their Sources, But The Company Also Proceeded To Publicly Deny Having Done So.

“TikTok does not collect precise GPS location information from US users, meaning TikTok could not monitor US users in the way the article suggested,” the TikTok communication team’s account posted on X in response to Forbes’s initial reporting. “TikTok has never been used to ‘target’ any members of the U.S. government, activists, public figures or journalists.”

Forbes kept digging, and its subsequent investigation found that an internal email “acknowledged that TikTok had been used in exactly this way,” as reporter Emily Baker-White put it.

TikTok did various probes into the company’s accessing of U.S. user data; officials were fired and at least one resigned, according to Forbes. That doesn’t change the basic facts: Not only did TikTok surveil reporters in attempts to identify their sources, but the company also proceeded to publicly deny having done so.

And Now, Service Journalism For Journalists

For my journalism colleagues, there may well be times when you need to check TikTok, for instance when researching a story. If this is the case, you should follow the operational security best practice of compartmentalization: keeping various items separated from one another.

In other words, put TikTok on a separate “burner” device, which doesn’t have anything sensitive on it, like your sources saved in its contacts. There’s no evidence TikTok can see, for example, your chat histories, but it can, according to the security research firm Proofpoint, access your device’s location data, contacts list, as well as camera and microphone. And, as as a security researcher, I like to be as safe as possible.

And keep the burner device in a separate location from your regular phone. Don’t walk around with both phones turned on and connected to a cellular or Wi-Fi network and, for the love of everything holy, don’t take the burner to sensitive source meetings.

— Dumb USA 🇺🇸: China 🇨🇳 Is Coming! China 🇨🇳 is Coming! China 🇨🇳 Is Coming!

You can also limit the permissions that your device gives to TikTok — so that you’re not handing the app your aforementioned location data, contacts list, and camera access — and you should. Only allow the app to do things that are required for the app to run, and only run enough to do your research.

And don’t forget, this is all for your research. When you’re done looking up whatever in our hellscape tech dystopia has brought you to this tremendous time suck, the burner device should be wiped and restored to factory defaults.

The security and disinformation risks posed to journalists are, of course, not unique to TikTok. They permeate, one way or another, every single social media platform.

That doesn’t explain journalists’ inscrutable defense of a medium that is actively working against them. It’s as clear as your favorite water cup.

[lettheladylead]

Not Your Aunt

Chapter 7: Huey [ao3 link]

It’d been two days since her chat with Dewey and Goldie found herself still in Scrooge’s home. Normally she would’ve left the morning after her little visit, but he’d been so busy with all of his family’s craziness that they hadn’t really had a chance to talk yet. Donald had apparently just left on a trip with his girlfriend and some clone children and everyone was adjusting to all the news and everything they’d been through.

So Goldie figured she would just...wait around. She’d informed the necessary people that she was alive, shockingly, after being missing for a few weeks, so she could take a few more days to herself. And it wasn’t like Scrooge didn’t know she was there; she’d still spent both nights in his bed, but he’d been falling asleep pretty quickly and getting up early and this whole situation they were in felt disturbingly domestic. She’d probably need to leave sooner or later, before anyone started to think she was moving in.

At that particular moment, Goldie was situated on the living room couch, wearing a tank top and sweatpants and flipping through the channels on the TV without much thought. Scrooge was at another meeting at the Money Bin and if she didn’t know any better she’d almost think he was avoiding her with all of his late night meetings. Actually, she didn’t really know better, since this was kind of a new situation for them, but...well...what was she supposed to do about it? Go with him? That sounded terribly boring.

A home redecorating show she liked came on and Goldie decided to forget everything else and just sit back and try to enjoy it. Overthinking things with Scrooge never worked out well for her. It was one of many reasons why after over a hundred years, she felt out of place just sitting in his home without him.

The pitter patter of tiny feet coming her way didn’t ease that feeling at all, either.

She glanced to the right as the other triplet - Huey, she was confident she had that right - picked himself up and plopped himself on the couch next to her. She’d never had a single conversation with this child, but she’d stolen from him and knew he kept a ridiculous number of things hidden under his tiny little hat. It was fascinating. But otherwise she didn’t know much about him or why he would be attempting to interact with her.

“I’d like to go over some scheduling issues,” he said suddenly, pulling a notebook and a pen out from under his hat.

Goldie glanced around the room briefly and then back at him. “...with me?”

“Yes,” Huey responded matter-of-factly. “If you’re going to be staying here for a while or living here or whatever’s happening with you, ideally I’d love to add you to the shared family calendar.”

“...what?”

“...but assuming you’re just here for a few days and then coming and going at your leisure, just knowing ahead of time when you and Uncle Scrooge are having your date nights would be perfect.” He took notes while he was talking, as if Goldie had given him even a single answer. “I like to know where he is in case we need him for anything. I’m sure you understand.”

“I, uh…” Goldie took a moment to go over everything he said and quickly shook her head. “Your uncle and I do not have ‘date nights’.”

“Well maybe not this time around since he’s been so busy, but isn’t that the plan?” Huey asked genuinely, still taking notes on who-knew-what. “Once he’s free I assume you’ll get dinner and have a talk about your relationship and our family. And other adult date stuff.”

Goldie responded to that with the most neutral, unemotional stare that Huey had ever received. She took the remote and muted the television before turning her whole body towards the nosy child next to her, lifting her feet up onto the couch. “And why exactly do you assume that?”

Huey tilted his head at her. “Oh...sorry, isn’t that right? Dewey said you’d been wandering around waiting to talk to Uncle Scrooge so that’s just the conclusion I drew. Plus you’re...y’know, still here even though he’s not. And you’re not stealing anything.”

“I have other hobbies.”

He pointed to the TV with his pen. “Like the Property Brothers?”

Goldie glanced at the screen and then back at the kid. “Even if, hypothetically, you were right about all of that, I am absolutely not ever joining your family calendar.”

Huey shook his head. “I don’t know why you’d say that like it’s a bad thing. Don’t you want to be organized?”

“I’m plenty organized by myself.”

“But if you were synced with us, then you’d know when Uncle Scrooge or Louie is available to spend time with.”

Goldie paused for a moment and stared at him. She’d barely spoken to her favorite of Della’s kids since arriving at the house and having him brought up felt like some kind of dig. She wasn’t sure how to respond to it without getting defensive and she wasn’t even sure what she’d be getting defensive about. “...I prefer the element of surprise. Keeps the boys on their toes.”

Huey shook his head and shrugged. “So how long are you staying here? Can I at least know that?”

“I’m not really sure,” Goldie answered, leaning fully against the back of the couch. It was pretty comfy. “Not too long. I’ve got other places to be.”

“...extremely vague and unhelpful,” Huey mumbled, jotting something down in his notebook. “You and Uncle Scrooge are quite the pair.”

Goldie only responded to that with a short hum, grabbing the remote to get back to her show.

“Can I ask you something else?”

She sighed and put the remote back down. “It’s not like I can stop you.”

Huey turned his body fully towards her, one leg up on the couch and one still dangling. “Well...if I’m making you really uncomfortable or anything, I can stop.”

Goldie raised an eyebrow at him, surprised by the suggestion, but quickly waved it off. “What’s your question?”

“Are you planning on marrying Uncle Scrooge?”

If she’d been drinking anything, she would’ve spit it out at that moment. Goldie could say with absolute certainty that she did not see that question coming. “What could I have possibly said to make you think that?”

“Not you,” Huey said earnestly. “I just noticed that everyone seems to call you Aunt Goldie and I remember in one of Uncle Scrooge’s journals he wrote about marriage when he wrote about you so I assumed you two have had a conversation about it at least once or twice. Right?”

Goldie’s eyes widened and she felt heat rising in her chest that she couldn’t explain away as simple heartburn. She hoped her face wasn’t red to match, because this kid was clearly observant and blunt and she didn’t need the whole family thinking she wanted to get married and move in. “I, uh…” Goldie cleared her throat awkwardly. “...no, it’s not something we’ve really talked about.”

Huey looked at her in confusion. “Not really or not at all?”

She grimaced and sighed and moved her hands around her face as she tried to put her thoughts together. “It’s not...I mean, it’s not never come up, it’s just...it’s complicated. It’d be hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

Goldie frowned and barely stopped herself from glaring at him. “...y’know what, if your uncle is the one writing Goldie McDuck in little hearts all over his workbooks, maybe you should talk to him about it, hm?”

Huey blinked up at her. “I guess I can do that. He’s just always very secretive when it comes to you.”

That got her attention a little more than it should’ve. Goldie sighed internally and didn’t bother trying to stop herself. “...what do you mean by that?”

“Well, like…” Huey moved so both of his legs were dangling again and he could swing them around. “I love romance a lot. I love to read about it and watch romantic movies...my friend Fenton and his girlfriend Gandra are so sweet together and Uncle Donald and his girlfriend are also really sweet together and I really love that for both of them. But then you and Uncle Scrooge seem like you’re happy sometimes but then when I ask him about you he gets all grumbly and doesn’t answer my questions, so that’s not a good sign. But I’m really curious about it because I know there’s all different types of romance out there and I don’t even know how the two of you met.”

Goldie hummed quietly and stared at the wall over the TV, considering her response. She definitely wouldn’t describe her and Scrooge’s relationship as ‘sweet,’ but she’d never tried to sum it up into one word before. “...the way we met is also very...complicated.”

“It seems like everything about you two is complicated.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” she said with a short, quiet laugh. “I do love your uncle, but it’s just-...!”

Huey gasped, and Goldie froze at the realization of what she’d just said. She stared directly at Huey who looked more excited than he’d been for any of the rest of their conversation. He was suddenly fully engaged thanks to her accidental use of the l-word. She glanced away from him and hoped she could stumble over that, but she’d paused for too long for them to simply move past it.

It wasn’t like she’d never said it before, but absolutely never to someone in his family. That would be...too much.

“You do?!” Huey asked - his notepad down and leaning towards her and putting his hands on his cheeks. “Does Uncle Scrooge know? Has he said it too? That’s so romantic!”

Goldie groaned and looked back at the TV, only to see the couple fixing up their house snuggling on the camera. “I mean, look. We’ve been...well, it’s been over a hundred years, so yeah these things are bound to be said at some point-”

Huey let out a tiny, adorable little squeal that Goldie refused to find endearing.

“Alright, I’ve changed my mind!” Huey announced, grabbing his pen and notepad again. “I’m completely fine to call you Aunt Goldie!”

“Wait, what?” Goldie stared at him, feeling very confused like she’d missed a whole big part of their conversation. “You know we’re still not getting married, right?”

“Well, Aunt Goldie,” Huey said with a smirk. “I now know that you’re mutually in love and probably have been for a very long time, so whether you want to be or not, that means you’re part of the family!”

She sighed and lightly scratched her neck.

“Do you have any other family?”

Goldie looked surprised at the sudden question, not expecting this child to suddenly change conversation topics like his brother. “...no, I don’t.”

“Oh,” Huey responded, looking a little sad. “Did they...I mean, you’re as old as Uncle Scrooge, right? So they’re...uh…”

“Dead, yeah,” Goldie said with a shrug.

“I’m sorry!” Huey looked down at his hands. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

She watched him look like he was about to go into some shame spiral and Goldie quickly reached out a hand and plopped it on his head. “Don’t worry about it, it was a long time ago. And we were never close to begin with,” she added with another shrug.

Huey glanced back up at her, blushing a bit from the unexpected physical affection. “Does that mean you never introduced them to Uncle Scrooge?”

Goldie couldn’t stop herself and let out a short laugh, moving her hand from Huey’s head to cover her beak. “Sorry, sorry,” she mumbled as she collected herself. “No, God no, absolutely not.”

He moved his hat back to the position he preferred it in. “Have you met Uncle Scrooge’s parents?”

“Ah...sort of-” Goldie started, but suddenly she froze. She thought about his line of questioning for a second before turning to glare at Huey completely. “What are you writing?”

Huey looked up from his notebook and let out a small chirp as he noticed Goldie’s expression. “Um...I’m just taking notes…”

“Taking notes about what?” Goldie asked as she reached out and grabbed the notebook away from him. Huey struggled to grab it back but Goldie held him down with her other hand.

She scanned over the open page and saw that he’d written notes on all the information she’d given him (about herself, about her and Scrooge’s relationship) and her tone of voice and expression when talking about them. She flipped to another page to see similar notes and rolled her eyes before throwing the notepad back at Huey.

Huey caught it and did his best to avoid her gaze.

“Should I even ask?”

He shoved the notepad and pen under his hat again and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Goldie pinched the bridge of her beak. “I’m not upset, I’m just confused. Did Scrooge tell you to come talk to me?”

“Huh?” Huey mirrored her confusion. “No, of course not! It was nothing like that!”

“Then…?”

He sighed awkwardly. “Dewey said he got an interview with you and I didn’t believe him and then we got into an argument about it and he said he had the best interviewing skills in the family, but I’m the one with the Interviewing Badge which I’ve had for several years so I wanted to...prove him wrong, I guess.” Huey covered his eyes with his hands and sighed. “Ugh, this is so stupid. I’m really sorry.”

Goldie raised an eyebrow and reached over to tug his hands away from his eyes. “Kid, it’s fine. I can always understand the urge to prove you’re better than someone else,” she said with a smirk.

Huey looked at her for a few moments before smiling. “So it’s okay if I show this to Dewey?”

She glanced at his hat and then back down at his eyes, which were sparkling and genuine and he was just a very cute kid and Goldie hated how that seemed to be something that affected her these days. She held back a sigh and let go of his arms. “Yeah, it’s fine. It’s not like I said anything that’s a secret.”

“Thank you, Aunt Goldie!” Huey said happily right before he jumped forward and wrapped his arms around her neck.

Goldie let out a surprised OOF! and didn’t hug back, just stared off towards the wall on the other side of the room.

Huey moved back away from her and kept smiling. “Louie’s right, you’re a lot nicer than Uncle Scrooge says you are!” he said as he hopped off the couch. “Thanks for talking to me! I hope you didn’t miss anything important on your show.”

“...nothing important ever happens on this show,” Goldie mumbled as Huey waddled away - probably towards the boys’ shared bedroom. She frowned and tried to will away the blush on her cheeks from the light physical affection. It was disturbing to her how much a little hand-hold or a hug made her feel like she had butterflies in her stomach. It was more than disturbing! She was practically going soft.

She sighed and thought about what Huey said before he left. Maybe she needed to have a chat with Sharpie.

[trance-griff]

Kyoka Jiro x Kaminari Denki Part Three

Word count (pt.3): 2037

Warnings: None, just fluff.

                                              ■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

“I lost?!” Denki’s voice caught the attention of many, fists slamming down the panel of the arcade machine while Jiro nonchalantly stared elsewhere, failing to hide the smirk that tugged at the corner of her lips. “Got your butt kicked, huh?! Seems like you’re losing your touch, buddy.” Sero slung an arm over Denki, looking over his shoulder to see a black screen with ‘Player two wins!’ displayed in blue, Jiro being player two, of course. The screen lit their faces in different colors, despite Kaminari losing and having to treat the female, he didn’t seem to mind one bit, seeing her act like herself is what made him recover from his loss, with her eyes lighting up and sparkling he felt his heart fuzz in his chest, what was he? A kindergarten student?

Their day went by in a flash and still, they had the energy to go on with their activities, the karaoke was the highlight of their day, everyone having the chance to hear each other sing, whether they were good or bad, it was enjoyable. Koda being shy and only murmuring the lyrics while Sato seemed to be the loudest amongst everyone with his gruff voice, the singing got him going. It took a lot of convincing to get Jiro to sing and she was finally there, a mic between her fingertips as she fidgeted and parted her lips to utter the tunes, instantly entrancing her classmates once again with her melodious singing, moments like these her confidence would radiate and act as a spell, charming the audience, moments like these Denki would feel his chest swell and he hoped no one else but he felt that way towards the angsty teenager- he wanted this to be special but wouldn’t admit that himself- perhaps this whole time he was in denial, or he was just braindead to not notice all the feelings folding over each other with every passing day. Guess the nickname Jiro thought of was perfect at this very moment: Jamming Way for being the idiot he was to not notice and think everything was alright.

“We would all make such good singers!” Uraraka spoke profoundly, hands holding her backpack in place as she remained in close vicinity with Midoriya and Tenya; exiting the karaoke, her voice was hoarse but everyone could relate, singing and laughing was bound to give them a sore throat but it was an enjoyable experience especially for Momo who spent a long while gushing over every little thing before regaining her composure and arranging the transportation to the beach, and soon they were at their final destination; Momo’s Private Beach, the beach had everyone at awe with it being spacious enough and everything was provided, however…

Whatever Mineta and Denki were expecting turned out to be the complete opposite, once again disappointed- the females were too tired for a swim and wore beach dresses, enjoying the shallow water instead. “The s-sw-swimsuits? Why aren’t you wearing them?!” Mineta was being delirious, taking the females by surprise as Sero held the short male back.

“Huh? We’re a little too tired from today’s activities, so we decided we would take it easy, right girls?” Were Momo’s simple explanation and the rest agreed but the purple-haired individual was not having it before any drastic steps were taken, Tenya had Mineta carted elsewhere… never to be seen for the rest of the day, something Denki was mildly concerned about but the blond was lucky to not be in Mineta’s place; grateful for watching things play out from the back not to mention his attention would fall onto Jiro -who was occupied with the rest of the females- finding himself distracted every time his friends brought him back to reality by nudging him. “You okay there, bro?” Kirishima questioned; expressing worry. “Yeah, yeah! Totally dude. A little tired.” Denki sheepishly laughed it off- easily fooling the red-haired individual while Bakugou remained silent; unlike his /oblivious/ friend the explosive male wasn’t ignorant to his surroundings, one could say he was even revolted but he’d play his part and excuse himself from this romantic atmosphere. “I’m gonna go beat up stupid Deku, you comin’ shitty hair? Soy Sauce Face?” Bakugou called out; already walking ahead, leaving the group behind. “For the last time, It’s Kirishima!” And with that the two stood up following Bakugou with Denki awkwardly sitting alone; maybe he’d take the chance and approach her or he’d sit this one out and accept how awkward he was being, it felt ‘uncool’ being like that- unable to speak up or as Jiro would put it ‘wouldn’t be rockin.’

Denki didn’t notice how dark it had gotten as he mainly spent it lost in his thoughts, the sky shifting from a pinkish purple to a dark shade of blue dotted with stars, the tides picked up and the rest of class 3-A moved away from the crashing waves, some gathering to make a little campfire and huddled up close as they continued to chatter, while Denki remained as he was, eyes closed as he filled his lungs with the beach air, it helped calm his overheated head, this was worse than any math equation and if he kept all these feelings to himself; he’d end up living up to his ‘jamming-yay’ reputation, or worst case scenario he’d die from heartburn, not literally but with his head burning up and chest-thumping rapidly, he couldn’t sit still and his face distorted with disturbance.

 “Kaminari?” Denki’s eyes jolted open, yellow eyes looking up at dark purple hues. “J-Jiro?!”  She was looming over the male with a soda in her hand, Denki immediately sitting straight up; only inches away from slamming his forehead against hers, realizing their proximity her face flushed slightly and she stepped back with a huff, thrusting the soda can towards him, a finger playing with a strand of hair. “H-Here. Didn’t think me beating your butt would make you so scared of me.” She wheezed with obvious mockery waiting for him to take the carbonated drink from her, mumbling thanks he gratefully accepted the soda. “That’s not the case at all, today was fun.” He laughed out, a smile tugging at his lips and she returned the gesture however cheeks still red and her smile wavered from how her cheeks burned. “C-Cool, I guess.” She patted her summer dress, adjusting it before taking a seat next to Kaminari; him sipping on the soda and her fidgeting with her fingers.

There was silence, and the crashing waves and whistling wind filled that stillness,

Jiro found herself opening her mouth every few seconds before shutting it, unable to let out the words- both had a lot on their minds and their thoughts spoke louder than words-.

“Ka…” She uttered, fists clenching her white summer dress, feet digging into the sand as they rubbed against each other, teeth-gritting when she forced herself into silence.

“Ka…?” Denki’s ears perked up in expectation, head tilting towards the awkward teenager who continued to fidget with her fingers, lips puckered into a pout before sighing and giving in. “Today was fun, I didn’t expect it to be that fun.” Her fingers decided to occupy themselves with a stray stick, using it to make random shapes into the sand. “The arcade especially, the unexpected phone call too… You even treated me out for ice-cream, it was nice…” By now she was red from head to toe, stuttering out words and fidgeting further as Denki listened to her, his situation was no different but he remained more composed however he didn’t really understand where this was all coming from.

“Don’t tell me Jiro, do you like me? Heh? Is that it? It’s okay to confess~” Denki had mainly meant it as a joke, a way to cover up his feelings as he faked pride and even swiped his hair back but when he failed to hear anything in return he stiffened. “F-For real…? J-Ji-.” Before he could continue blabbing, a stick was pointed at him in a threatening manner, taking him by surprise as he flinched yet, she couldn’t say or do anything; flustered and retracted the stick. “It’s nothing, forget I said anything.” It was her cue to leave and maybe dig herself six feet underground. “W-Wait! Me too! Me too!” Denki slipped out, reaching to hold her wrist. “You too?” Jiro paused, red face turning to look at a flustered Denki, he nodded and gathered the courage to speak. “Yeah, I like you too.” He finally confessed, letting go of her wrist after a while only to sheepishly rub his neck and shift his gaze elsewhere. Well, there was no point stepping back, the cat was out of the bag.

“Like me as a friend…?” She questioned, and Denki shook his head profusely. “You know what I mean, Jiro!”

“…Oh.” “Is that your only answer?!” From that flustered girl was now a blank looking girl, brain unable to process his words. Once again, the silence returned and Jiro looked at her feet. “So, all this time I was being… stupid for nothing…?” Ever since she discovered her feelings for the goof, she was all over the place and couldn’t even be herself around him.

Wow, so uncool of me…

“Stupid for nothing?” Denki repeated before realization dawned upon him. “You were being passive-aggressive because of me?! I was the reason behind that change?! You could have just told me, y’know?” He pointed at himself, confusion mixed with joy, he didn’t even know how to express it as his mouth was a half-grin half gasp only to earn a glare from Jiro causing him to instantly hush up. “Shut it Kaminari! I thought your brain wouldn’t comprehend such feelings, you dunce!”

“I’m fully capable of it! That’s why I’m telling you I like you, Jiro!” He defended himself; irritation evident, she always messed with him like this and it was time he proved her wrong. It took her by surprise when he bluntly displayed his affectionate feelings to her and she covered her ears, this wasn’t what she had expected at all, she didn’t even consider this a possibility whatsoever, all she thought about was this being unrequited and her graduating without ever getting the chance to reveal her feelings. “…I… Me…Er…” Her throat felt constricted, but Denki was content with that alone; she didn’t need to verbally express it anymore everything made sense now.

“I know.”  Taking the chance to place a hand over her head, Denki’s expressions softened as he hid her face into his chest, she didn’t fight back and leaned against him. “This is so lame…” She mumbled and Denki chuckled at that. “Yet here we are.” He cooed. Feelings were always weird it brought out the strangest part of a human, affectionate desires people normally would recoil at becomes normal when they find themselves charmed and smitten.

“So…” Jiro trailed off, waiting for Denki to urge her on to continue but when she looked up, his face was looped… He was stupefied. “A-Are you alright, Kaminari?!” Jiro’s flushed face turned to astonishment and then to a sputtering mess. “Uweh…” Guess his brain fried over this and Jiro held her stomach from how hard she was laughing, his thumbs thrusting into the air assuring whoever was on sight that he was okay. “You’re hopeless, Kaminari…” Jiro shook her head, looking at her surroundings before leaning in on her tippytoes to leave a quick peck on his cheek.

 And that’s how the two students of Yuuei became a couple.

                                                        ■□■

“Man. it reeks of shit here,” Bakugou growled, swatting his hand in the air to express annoyance. “Looks like our little Bakugou can’t handle a bit of lovin’, am I right or am I right?” Kirishima grinned, shark teeth exposed as he leaned an elbow on the blonde’s shoulder. “Shut up, Kirishima! You were too slow to understand what was going on.”

“So, wait. If Bakugou hadn’t left with you two, they would have missed their chance? Way to go Boom Boom Man!” Mina cheered with a jump, celebrating with the rest of the group. “Quit it, raccoon eyes!”

“Bakugou, the cupid of class 3-A.”

“You guys wanna die?!”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #292

“dear god, let’s make this fucking clear: dear god, there’s nothing that i fear”

What internet browser do you use? Chrome. What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) Mom just grabs the Great Value jugs. Do you have a job? No. Are you full-time or part-time? N/A Are you watching TV right now? No. Or are you listening to music? Yeah, "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy. Such a great song. Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? No. I would NOT survive in jail. When's your birthday? February 5th. I cannot fucking believe I'm almost 25. Thoughts on kids? Too impressionable for me. Even with my niece and nephew, I feel like every single word I say just like... stamps into their brains, and what if I say something that negatively affects them? I feel like it's my responsibility as an aunt to be a fountain of wisdom when I'm definitely not. I just get nervous around kids. Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents? I wouldn't call it a "punishment," but when I skinned the everliving fuck out of my knees and Mom was patching me up while I was just sobbing away, my dad literally roared "SHUT UP!" from my parents' bedroom, and it's stuck with me forever. Honestly, I think it may be a root in my extreme fear of men yelling. Worst punishment from Mom, probably this time where she smacked the shit outta my arm as a kid and left a clear handprint for a while. Are you the type who is completely against abortion? Why? No, I am firmly pro-choice, despite being pro-life most of my life. I don't feel like writing a moral essay, but basically, I absolutely cannot agree with forcing a woman to carry a human they don't want for whatever reason for nine fucking months, endure one of the most traumatically painful things known to man, and then properly and adequately care for that child. That is such a huge fucking responsibility that should be forced upon *nobody*. "But adoption!" Yeah, go tell that to the thousands of children waiting on you. This is leaning on exactly what I said I wouldn't do, so moving along. Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "I’ve read some books that were phenomenal, but I wouldn’t necessarily go so far as to say that they 'changed my outlook on life'." <<<< This was Johnny Got His Gun for me. Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? No. What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? I would fucking freak. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, but I honestly do want at least one, primarily with a deep black and then some nice grays and neutral colors. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yes. Are your nails always painted? Quite the opposite. What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? I honestly don't really decorate because I just don't have the motivation, but Halloween is the best. Were you popular in school? Nope. Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? BANANAS, dark sodas (like Coke or Dr. Pepper), peanut butter can... It's hard for me to tell much now because I have chronic heartburn and am medicated for it. Works great, so I don't experience this much. Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Yes. Once my tattoo is done (I'm setting the appointment the next time we leave the house, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH), what I have left is going towards Venus' new terrarium. She really needs a 40 gallon. Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? I was the art kid, and family still insist I should be an artist. What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? Omg, Roman has so many. He nuzzles me all the time, will collapse into my hand to pet him, he insists on being the little spoon at bedtime (no, really), he literally tries to groom me with his teeth, licks my face... He is just a doll. My little buddy for sure. Now onto Venus. She loves to chill next to me in bed or find a cozy place under the covers, and omgggg does she love to slither around the bed doing the periscope thing. So curious. What's the screensaver on your computer? I don't have one. What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I am WEAK for nice shoulderblades/muscular shoulders ok. What’s the sexiest thing about a girl? I am an ass bitch and I will not hesitate to admit it ayyyyyeeeee. Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? Nobody. Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? My sister Misty. She's planning to surprise Mom (her stepmom, anyway) by showing up in a few weeks with her fiance and all her kids she's never met but desperately wants to. My mom is the only "real mom" she's ever had, and she just feels so bad that she has a by now teenage daughter (among three other younger ones) that has never met her "grandmother." It's just an expensive and long trip, but Misty's finally called it enough and is just driving down here with everyone. Mom is going to fucking sob. ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? Nice timing for this, since her fiercely anti-mask bullshit is all I can focus on about her lately... but there are good things about her. She truly is a very loving, passionate woman that, just like me, feels deeply and expresses it. What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? Does grimacing count from a sudden bodily pain? Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? Yeah. I'm watching the VOD of Arin Hanson playing Kingdom Hearts 2 for charity, and he went on a total fucking laughing fit. His laugh is so precious, so I just couldn't stop grinning. What was the last thing you consulted Google for? Ensuring "grimace" was the right word for my former expression, even though I was pretty positive it was correct... I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my English skills are degrading, particularly in spelling. It's concerning me. I was an English whiz my whole life up to now. My only guess is it's related to how godawful my memory is also declining. So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? No. When was the last time you were on a carousel? Probably not since I was a teenager being goofy with Jason or somebody. What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? I have a picture on my dA of a beautiful elephant walking RIGHT by its fence at the zoo. It was pretty amazing, considering just how incredibly immense their enclosure is. Have you ever played Halo? No, it's not my kinda game. Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? Oh, I'm positive I've read sections while in waiting rooms of various places. When was the last time you had a pillow fight? I have no idea. Realistically it was probably w/ Jason since that sounds like some cute playfighting thing we'd do, but I don't remember a particular instance. Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: "Retail works. The horror stories my mom has on the daily is absolutely ridiculous. People can be so incredibly rude." <<<< I absolutely agree with this; what friends and strangers alike rant about is just depressing. Nobody, especially those working through a goddamn pandemic that's killing thousands, deserves the disrespect that comes their way. Have some goddamn decency and know half the issues you bring up to retail workers isn't even their damn fault. Ohhhh, I could rant about this. In your own words, define what the word sexy means. So you mean like, what I think is considered sexy, not just the general definition? If that's the case, uhhh. Self-confidence (but absolutely not arrogance) is very attractive to me as a bitch who lacks it entirely, as well as good manners, being outgoing, and just... charm. I don't quite know how to describe that "charm" other than I'm really drawn to people who are unique and happy with it and just seem to have an aura about them that feels good to be in. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? I'm going to look at this question as if you're asking about my state and not general location because 1.) there ain't shit here and 2.) I'd prefer to keep relatively where I live quiet on the Internet. Looked it up and apparently NC's biggest tourist bait is the Biltmore Estate. Never been there myself, but it'd be pretty dope. Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? I'm in my own home and pjs, who the fuck wears underwear with that criteria lmao. Are you any good at volleyball? NOOOOOOOOO. I went to a volleyball camp thing once when I was younger and that shit hurts the hell outta your hands. I didn't stay long. Have you ever had a water balloon fight? Why of course. Do you think some babies are ugly? Quite honestly, probably most, especially newborns. Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I do; going there was one of the most exciting possible things to me as a kiddo. Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? Possibly. I mean they sure are pretty successful and well-known. Do you love stuff-crusted pizza? Eh, it's not my preference, but I'll eat it. Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No, but I really should, given how dry my skin is. What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? I'd like to not think about this. Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Lol definitely not. I think at least one on my older channel hit 1k somehow???? It was a birthday gift I made for someone. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? lol I already have one there. At some point I'm getting it covered, though. Do you like Robert Frost poems? I do! Do you go to church every Sunday? I never do. Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year? No, I don't play that game. You want me or you don't, so I'm not wasting my time on your uncertainty or just our lack of stability for whatever reason. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Absolutely writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? ?????????????????? i don't?????????????? care???????????????? they're not my tits??????????????? What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I don't know. I avoid trying shit on like the plague. And then it ends up being too big/small. I wonder why. Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes? I've only ever fallen asleep naked once, and accidentally at that, so I really don't remember how I felt about it? Consciously though, I would feel very, very vulnerable so don't have plans to when I have my own place. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? HAHAHA Y'AAAAAALLLLLLL THIS WAS DEADASS THE ONLY LUCID DREAM I'VE EVER HAD LMAOOOOO Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? My short-term memory is absolutely atrocious, like to the point it seriously affects my ability to get shit done. You can give me something that needs to be done and I will forget in a heartbeat. Now, my long-term memory is astonishing. I can remember many things from my childhood in incredible detail. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? I've had a concussion or two. I can't remember which. I didn't need surgery. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? Yeah: chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, generalized anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, bipolar II, and I think that's it. My head's a mess and a half. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? About to the small of my back; how it is now, which is pretty much shaved on the left and fades to near my chin on the right. I actually got it cut last month; we've gone to a family friend for years whose shop is just an extra building by her house and very rarely has more than two clients in it. We had masks on, of course. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I don't have any. Somehow, given my stress level at all times, haha. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? It's too short to style. I don't use any products in it but obviously shampoo. Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? Probably my mom. I think she was in a rotten mood for one reason or another and just being snappy and generally rude. Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? We do; it's by choice, and it'd be immensely ignorant not to where we live considering it literally gets picked up with the other garbage. Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day? I've never tried carbonated water, and flavored water rarely works for me due to artificial sweeteners giving me beastly headaches. So I'll just take really cold, filtered water. Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? I had to call the ambulance for my mom right before her cancer was discovered because she was literally immobile and in ungodly pain. When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? At my old college, as the newspaper photographer, I took some artsy pics up there. I will probably forever worry that leaving school resulted in the biggest career opportunity slipping through my fingers through that newspaper. Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? I guess about the normal amount you'd see in the country. Some dangerous animals live here, sure, that's probably everywhere, but you very rarely see any. Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? For suicidal thoughts and one attempt, yes. Have you ever experienced a panic attack? Ahhhh, do I know those well. Thankfully, it's been a long time since I had an all-out panic attack. Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID? Nope. Well, besides being a vet, which I haven't wanted to be since I was a kid. Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? No. Because it's apparently a fuckin hoax or not as bad as the government wants us to think. Fucking cretins. Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree? Artificial. Real ones aren't worth the money nor mess. What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn? Caramel corn. Do you drink oat milk? No, but I'm interested in at least trying it. The dairy industry is absolutely repulsive if you look into it, and I'd love to do what I can to take as little part in it as possible... even though I am a dairy fiend. I seriously wish I could go vegan, I am just WAY too picky for it. Do you love thrifting? Oh fuck yes. I've been very few times in my life, but I'mm all about it. Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic? I do find it visually appealing; I like the flow of similar letter height. I never do it for "serious" things, but on places where it's "for the aesthetic," it's likely that's how I'll write something. Do you say “mood?” Way too much lmao. Do you own fairy lights? No, though I would like them if it wouldn't look stupid in my room. Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? ... I didn't know glass straws were a thing. I have a handful of metal ones though, but I always forget I have one in my purse when I go out... Have you made a TikTok? No. Do you own airpods? No. Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I don't believe in a planet's position or whatever having any effect on people. Do you make life choices based on astrology? Definitely not, considering I don't believe in it to begin with. How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Maybe like, five? Number of jeans in your closet: Zero. What accent do you have? Not really any, but sometimes I sound kinda southern with specific words. Do you have a big butt? Yo I got a Hank Hill ass, so no. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? In my past relationships, yes, I assigned our anniversary to memory. I don't really... know why, like it doesn't really matter how long you've been together, I just do. Have you graduated? From HS, yes. I dropped out of college three times lmao. Rihanna or Lady GaGa? Ohhh, not sure. Maybe GaGa, but both ladies have songs I love. "Disturbia" doess beat all of her songs, tho. The fuckin BEAT. Do you use fake eyelashes? Never tried 'em. Which was the last book that really captivated you? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. What makeup brands do you use? I'm not loyal to any, really. I would be if I could afford expensive shit, but yeah, that ain't my life.

[thefinalcinderella]

Tsurune Book 2 Chapter 6-Door (Part 1)

We’re in the endgame now...

This chapter was surprisingly dramatic. Some people get trapped in an elevator, someone gets hospitalized, and someone declares to someone else that they will make a world without hitting or missing...this chapter took a while. Hopefully, I can finish the book before September ends.

Full list of translations here

Glossary here

Translation Notes

1. Nanao lists a bunch of dishes from all over Japan. Imoni is a type of taro and meat soup eaten in the Tohoku region. Beef tongue, or gyuutan, was a dish created in Sendai. Wappameshi is a dish cooked in wooden containers and a specialty of the Niigata prefecture. Zunda mochi is a Tohoku specialty where rice cakes are coated with soy bean paste. Ika ninjin is a pickled mixture of dried squid and carrots, which is a specialty in Fukushima.

2. The bull’s eye of a hoshi-mato is called a zuboshi in Japanese. Zuboshi o sasu (to guess exactly right) literally means pointing at the bull’s eye.

3. The word used here, geki (檄), can mean encouragement as well as manifesto.

4. This was a bit confusing for me, but I think it’s connected to the idea of seven mysteries (fushigi) (a common trope in manga set in high schools) and how meeting one of them would bring you bad luck. 

5. This is a reference to Shutaro Mendo, a character from the famous manga Urusei Yatsura who is the heir to a rich family and has claustrophobia.

6. “Form is emptiness” and the Heart Sutra are kind of the same thing in Buddhism. I think it means that everything is dependent on their parts and causes, and that forms themselves are inherently empty of existence???? Buddhism is complicated

Previous | Next

Anvil clouds floated distinctly against the sky.

In order to participate in the Interscholastic Athletic Meet Kyudo Tournament, Minato and the others took a connecting bullet train up north. August, over four days. The start of a hot and passionate summer for high school archers.

In the train, Minato, Seiya, and Ryouhei sat in a three-seat row, Kaito and Nanao sat in a two-seat row next to them, and Masa-san and Tommy-sensei sat behind them. So that their bows would not hinder the people around them, they had them put in the gap between the seats and the wall at the back of the car.

Ryouhei and Nanao promptly opened the seals on their bags of sweets. They proceeded to barter across the aisle.

Kaito wrinkled his brow.

"I can't believe you guys can eat so many sweets so often. Just looking at them gives me heartburn."

"Huh? When I get on a vehicle, I get kinda hungry, you know? Imoni, beef tongue, wappameshi, zunda mochi, ika ninjin! (1) Aah, what to eat?"

"Don't eat so much. Eating too much for lunch and getting sleepy, then not feeling so good in the afternoon even though you felt fine in the morning, is a thing that happens."

"Are you not eating then, Kacchan? As in, local cuisine?"

"No, I am though."

"Right?"

Nanao and Ryouhei were energetic since morning, but Minato was flipping through the provided booklet and drinking tea, unable to settle down if he wasn’t doing something.

Seiya spoke.

"Minato, it’s still too early to be nervous. We’re scheduled to shoot at the practice hall today first, after all. Apparently, we can do a practice round of four shots at the actual venue."

"When we got on the train, I just thought, it's finally time."

"I'm excited. To be able to shoot on such a big stage is like a dream. We've done all that we can, so the rest is just managing our health over these four days, I guess."

"Yeah, that's right."

Minato leaned back deeply into his seat and closed his eyes.

They entered the first day.

Shajos for groups of ten people appeared in a wide arena that was used for championship ball game matches and other events. The green mat that resembled the lawn of a yamichi dazzled the eyes. The stands were filled in all directions, and there were many camera lenses pointed at the competitors for web broadcasts and photos. Unlike the semi-open-air kyudojos, sounds echoed, so if one shouted a yagoe, it seemed like it would rebound and pierce one’s own heart.

The competition event was short-distance shooting, divided into girls’ and boys’ divisions, and the categories were group competitions and individual competitions. The targets used were wooden-framed kasumi-mato with a diameter of thirty-six centimeters. Two shajos for groups of ten, the space between the archers were a hundred and eighty centimeters, and the shooting distance was twenty-eight meters.

Following the opening ceremony, the girls’ individual competition began. The preliminaries and semifinals would have four rounds of shooting, and those who had three or more hits would advance. The preliminaries were done in rissha, and from the semifinals on, the matches would be done in zasha.

Kazemai High School was only in the group tournament, but Kirisaki High School’s Shuu was in the boys’ individual competition. His presence that surpassed others could not fade under any circumstances. Even in the most crowded places, one could quickly find Shuu.

Ryouhei spoke to Minato.

"Shuu-kun's as cool as ever. You'd know that he's definitely skilled just from seeing his standing figure."

"Yeah, exactly."

Shuu and Nikaidou both had a four-shot kaichuu, and passed the preliminaries and semifinals.

The individual competition finals were an "izume" competition. The current tournament had twenty-seven competitors.

Each person shot an arrow, the ones who missed were eliminated, and those who hit carried out their next shot. The one who continued to hit to the end was the winner. However, in the event that everyone missed, they can shoot once more.

Shuu and Nikaidou smoothly continued to hit, and from the fifth round, their targets were switched to twenty-four centimeters hoshi-mato. Hoshi-mato were targets with a single black circle in the middle of a white background, and that black circle was called the "zuboshi" which was the origin of the phrase used often in everyday life, "zuboshi o sasu" (to guess exactly right). (2)

In the sixth round, five people, including Shuu and Nikaidou, were left.

In the seventh round, one person was out, and after the eighth round, it became a one-on-one battle between Shuu and Nikaidou.

Nine shots, then ten.

In the midst of the enormous round of applause, the archer who kept hitting until the end slowly blinked his pale, thinly pigmented eyelashes.

The second day. The start of the group tournaments.

Teams were composed of one manager and six athletes, with five starting members. Up to three athlete substitutions were allowed. Each team had a total of twenty shots, and the top thirty-two teams with the most amount of hits would advance. The time limits were eight minutes for zasha and seven minutes for rissha. In the case of competitions that determine which team would advance past the preliminaries due to a tie, each person would shoot one arrow.

Minato’s team hung their ID cards from their necks, attached their numbers to their right hips, and put on their yellow-green headbands. The girls’ division took place in the morning, and the boys’ division would take place in the afternoon. Their parents, the girl members, and the elite members of the Nanao Fan Club, rushed to support them over a long and distant journey. The stands were divided into blocks of average people and competitors, and female staff members were patrolling around with plates that read "Please stay quiet during the competition.”

While waiting for their turn, the Kirisaki archers appeared before Minato. He readied himself to exchange sharp words with the twins, but their treatments of him were different.

Manji opened his mouth.

"I heard that the suggestion for me to shoot together with Shuu while standing behind him came from you and that coach of yours."

"Are you saying that I did something uncalled for?"

"Teams from the same prefecture would be separated into different blocks for the finals tournament. We’ll be waiting for you guys in the finals."

"Oh, yeah, wait for us," Minato answered.

Senichi and Manji stepped back, and then Shuu stepped forward between the two. His silhouette was bordered in gold, and it seemed like there was a blue-purple flame swaying upwards.

Shuu smiled brilliantly.

"Hey, Minato. I owe you for the other day."

"Congrats on winning the individual competition, Shuu. Your shooting was kinda like Saionji-sensei's."

"Fufu… Are you planning on pleasing me and make me turn into a fool? I will embody 'one shot and expire’ at this tournament."

"…One shot and expire?"

"That's right. A world where, other than drawing a bow and releasing an arrow, there are no such things as hitting and missing——. Minato, you follow me too."

Only informing Minato of that, Shuu left without waiting for a response.

What’s with Shuu?

Did he meant to do a Zen dialogue kind of thing here? I couldn’t even raise a question, much less answer him.

Tommy-sensei and Masa-san stood before the five boys.

"Thank you all for continuing to practice up to now. I have received all of your tenacity, for certain. Now, let’s start the mission!"

"Yes!"

Minato and others entered the third waiting room. When they were there, they felt like warriors taking on a battle. Beyond the partitioning white cloth was the shajo, and the moment one came out there, the immoveable enemy would be right before one's eyes.

They advanced to the second waiting room, and when they entered the shajo, they sat down in the chairs of the first waiting room.

At the signal to "start," they did their yuu bows and stepped forward to the shooting line, then they did ashibumi without squatting. They selected a pair of arrows from four.

First was to shoot was the oomae, Kaito. He carefully brought the tip of his arrow closer to the center of the target, and waited for the moment of release. After his arrow headed for the target along with a nimble yugaeri, there were shouts of "Alright!"

When Kaito was entering kai, the second archer, Ryouhei, raised his bow. His recent progress was amazing. He was so honest and straightforward that he absorbed what he learned as he was taught them. A lively matooto sounded.

The third archer, Seiya, was unusually relaxed. At the prefectural tournament, he was a bundle of nerves with a prim face on, but this time, the unity of the five was excellent, and he felt like they could win the championship like this. Of course, he hit.

It was then the fourth archer’s—Nanao’s—turn. The group with the yellow-green frog-shaped uchiwa fans in their hands pitched forward. While being aware of his tenouchi, Nanao carefully drew his bow. A circle appeared on the scoreboard, and the Nanao Fan Club elites sent out a big shout of support.

The fifth archer, the ochi, was Minato. The pain in his wrist was completely gone. He tensed his little finger, stretched his elbow, and stretched himself in all directions as much as possible. His arrow shot through the target with a ringing tsurune.

The five-person kaichuu was clinched, and a huge round of applause swelled from the venue. In the stands, Hanazawa, Shiragiku, and Seo were doing fist pumps in their minds.

"They did it! The boys were incredible from the very beginning."

"So you've been enlightened or something?"

"Maybe."

In the second round, the five got a kaichuu once again, and the Kazemai High School cheering squad was unexpectedly enlivened.

However, in the third round, Ryouhei, Seiya, and Nanao missed.

In the fourth round, Kaito had one more shot to go for a kaichuu, but missed and exited the shajo. Minato got a four-shot kaichuu and there was a round of applause.

As a result, Kazemai High School had three, three, three, three, four—a total of sixteen hits.

When all the teams finished shooting, the results were that Kirisaki High School and Tsujimine High School both had eighteen hits.

The three schools were in the top rankings and would advance.

The third day.

The finals tournament finally began.

This day was done in two matches, until it was whittled down to the best sixteen.

Their first match was with Iwakurisawa High School. They stood out quite a lot due to their buzz cuts and bright red headbands. When the person who appeared to be the captain commanded in a loud voice, "Form lines!", the athletes and cheering squad quickly formed five rows.

Their manager, with a similarly shaved head, issued a manifesto of encouragement. (3)

"All of you, things like losing to a school with only first-years are not needed!"

"Yes, sir."

"Too quiet!"

"Yes, sir!"

At that ferociousness that was more like something from the military than sports-oriented, the athletes from the other schools drew back a little. However, with the influence of their opponent’s manager, Minato’s team became calmer instead. They did rissha in the preliminaries, but from now on they would be doing zasha. From the stands, Masa-san watched Kazemai High School enter the first shajo and Iwakurisawa High School enter the second.

From "standing" to the end of "nocking," the five people’s movements were matching each other’s as much as possible, but Iwakurisawa was all over the place, and it could be perceived that they didn’t even feel like getting it together. And conversely, the timing to stand for the first shooting round was said to be when the person in front stood and put their right fist on their hip, but the five people from Iwakurisawa stood up together and did ashibumi together. Although it was alright as long as one didn’t overtake the movements of the person in front of them, there was a sense of discomfort felt from looking at that.

After they began shooting, shouts of "Alright!" came for both teams in succession.

Iwakurisawa used a shooting method where they moved themselves towards the targets to the extent that they were tilting their bodies. They firmly pushed their left arms and released their arrows immediately with just their right hands. It was a unique way of shooting, but they hit very well with it. But there was one person who was being put into disorder. The arrows their ochi was releasing were scattering left and right, and their landing spots were in disarray.

On the other hand, the Kazemai High School Kyudo Club showcased their composed shooting. Their raised their bows with their right arms and passed the initiative to the left arms at daisan. Rolling the targets that could be seen around their left elbows to above their arms and moving it to their fists, they then moved their right hands to their shoulders and pointed their right elbows to their hips before parting their bows. When they entered kai, they quietly exhaled. They flicked their right thumbs and their arrows rushed towards the targets.

For the results, Iwakurisawa had four, three, three, four, and one hit for a total of fifteen hits. Kazemai, opposing them, had four, two, four, three, and three hits and won with a total of sixteen hits.

After the first match was over, Tommy-sensei praised them all. No matter how old one was, words of praise from one’s teacher were something to be happy about. Next to them, the Iwakurisawa manager was yelling at their ochi.

"If you missed the first shot, then shouldn’t you change your aim for the second shot!? Why did you miss three of them!?"

"I’m sorry…"

"Why aren't you able to do what I taught you!?"

"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry——!"

The ochi continued to apologize, but his manager did not stop rebuking him. The voice that was relentlessly criticizing someone who had already broken down into tears was painful for those who were listening to it as well.

When Minato took a step, he heard a loud fit of coughing.

"Kaaaaa—" Coughing sounds. "Ah, please excuse me. As one gets older, there would be more phlegm stuck in one’s throat." Another cough.

The sounds of the Iwakurisawa manager’s rebukes were drowned out by the incessant and violent coughing. Perhaps their interest was dampened, Iwakurisawa High School started to move in silence. If Minato and the others copied them, they could be adding fuel to the fire, and the people around them couldn’t close their open mouths at the feat only Tommy-sensei could do.  

The second match began. Their opponent was Chikuten High School.

The Chikuten oomae was petite but the ace of his team, and was skilled enough to be in the top three of the individual competition. The other members’ standing postures were also good, and they looked quite dignified. When they stood at the shooting line, they took forward-bent postures. They raised their bows while keeping that tilt, firmly put in their shoulders and pushed open their bows. Their arrows headed towards their targets with a sharp release.

Of course, Minato’s team did not yield to them either. The five’s movements were perfectly overlapping from moving their bows to nocking, showing their amount of training. They drew their bows to the limit and waited for the moment to release their arrows.

At the end of the four rounds, Ryouhei and Nanao got kaichuu, and they got three, four, three, four, three hits for a total of seventeen hits.

At the end of the tie-breaking match, Kazemai won with four hits to three.

Minato, dressed in the casual outfit of a t-shirt and a jersey, was on the first floor of his hotel.

After the schedule for the third day was over, the manager and athletes went back to their hotel to rest their bodies. This hotel had twelve floors and was fully equipped with a large public bath, and Minato was returning to his room after having finished bathing a step before everyone else.

Tomorrow, the curtains would close on the high school generals. He wondered what kind of results would be waiting for them. If they went on winning at this rate, they would face Kirisaki High School, where Shuu was.

Drawing their bows at the same place, at the same time.

The secret, violent throbbing in his chest would not stop until the competition was over.

When Minato headed for the elevator landing, he saw someone he recognized there. It seemed like he had also just come out of the bath.

"Nikaidou-senpai."

"…Yo. I sure bump into you a lot, Minato-chan. I don’t even use the elevator normally, so this must be fate or something."

"Oh, I saw the notice on the way here. It seems that the stairs can’t be used due to a lighting failure. Nikaidou-senpai, you have a rule of not using the elevator or escalator as much as possible to train your legs, right?"

"That’s Minato-chan for ya. You even remember stuff that don’t even matter. Even though I was able to use the stairs on the way to the baths, but, well, things happen sometimes."

Staying in the same lodgings as Tsujimine High School again was unlucky. The desire to not meet each other as much as possible was probably mutual for the two of them. They waited for the elevator to come in silence, and then got in when the doors opened.

Nikaidou asked him a question.

"What floor?"

"Eighth floor, please."

"Got it."

He pressed the buttons for the seventh and eighth floors. The elevator rose with an indistinct sound.

Four, five, six…

They would finally be approaching the seventh floor soon.

Minato was at the back of the elevator, and Nikaidou stood before the doors as he was about to get off. But, the elevator stopped just a little bit before its destination.

"…The hell? The door’s not opening."

Nikaidou pressed several of the buttons, but nothing happened. Minato also tried pressing the buttons as a test, but the results were the same.

"Oi oi, is this for real…"

"Should I try pressing the call button?"

"Go ahead."

After Minato pressed the button, a voice could be heard from the speaker.

"What is the problem?"

"The elevator stopped and the doors aren’t opening."

"We are very sorry for the inconvenience. Which floor did the elevator stop near? Also, how many people are in the elevator?"

"We’re almost at the seventh floor. There are two people."

"Understood. We will now be sending people to your location, so please wait. They will arrive in about fifteen minutes."

The voice broke off.

That they were trapped in an elevator in a place like this was completely unexpected. It wasn’t like they didn’t feel like they could get out if they force the door open either, but for now they could only wait. It was fifteen minutes of endurance.

When the two left the elevator panel, the lights suddenly went out.

"Uwah!"

Nikaidou slammed his hand against the wall hard, and the impact caused the elevator to shake violently. That made the fact that they were in a hanging box right now feel all the more real.

"Are you okay, Nikaidou-senpai?"

"Shut up, I was just surprised!"

Nikaidou’s voice echoed in the cramped chamber. Minato could even hear the sound of him clicking his tongue. In the darkness, the two held their breaths, at a loss as to what to do.

They waited for the time to pass without stirring a muscle.

Footsteps could be heard from somewhere, passing by.

The lights came back on after a while, and they became able to maintain their sight. Minato rubbed his chest with a sigh of relief, but a strange change was happening in Nikaidou.

His complexion was bad, and there was cold sweat beading on his forehead. He was panting in quick, rough breaths, and then he bent at his waist and curled his back. Perhaps not being able to stand, he pushed his body against the wall and scrunched down.

"Shit, what the hell is this crap… I need to get out of here now. Pretty sure it’s been fifteen minutes a long time ago…"

During Minato’s hospitalization, he had had similar symptoms.

He reached out his hand to rub Nikaidou’s back.

"Don’t touch me!"

"Nikaidou-senpai, you are probably hyperventilating. You are breathing in too much oxygen. Please breathe more slowly."

"Shut up. Don’t order me around…"

"I am not. I think it will soothe you, so please try it."

"Shut the hell up! This is all because I’m riding the same elevator as someone like you. I need to get out of here, now!"

Beneath his pale face, his eyes shone with a tinge of bloodlust.

"…It’s all your fault. Heard that the Kazemai coach got injured protecting you, didn’t he? Misfortune befalls anyone involved with you…"

Minato felt like he had been struck with a blunt object. He couldn’t deny it and the core of his head was numb. Before his eyes was a person who was clearly in bad condition and becoming panicked, but since he was told that anyone who gets involved with him becomes unlucky, he wouldn’t be able to interfere with him. But, there should be some way calm him down.

Think, think.

Rack your brain.

Minato crouched down and matched Nikaidou’s gaze.

"Nikaidou-senpai, if you sleep here, a zashiki-warashi will come and draw whiskers on your face, you know?"

"…Hah?"

"If you say misfortune befalls anyone who gets involved with me, isn’t something unfamiliar approaching you also mysterious? (4) At the summer training camp, when one of our club members woke up, a zashiki-warashi drew whiskers on his face. And it was with permanent marker."

Are you serious, the graffiti artist wasn’t a zashiki-warashi, but unmistakably a human—was what Nikaidou wanted to retort, but he was already in a state where it was difficult for him to talk. There was buzzing in his ears and was barely keeping conscious with the dizziness and numbness throughout his whole body. In the first place, for a joke that was just waiting for a sarcastic retort, telling it with a serious face was just too scary.

Minato placed his hand on Nikaidou’s back arbitrarily.

"I told you not to touch me…"

"Please breathe slowly, like you’re entered kai. It’s your strong point, right, senpai? I will count. One…two…three. You’ll be alright. Let’s breathe slowly one more time."

Without any strength to disobey, and with the single-minded desire to escape from this pain, Nikaidou breathed out as he was told. In the meantime, Minato continued to rub his back.

How much time had passed? Nikaidou, whose breathing was now stable, raised his hand in indication that Minato no longer had to rub his back. There were people’s voices outside, but rescue still hadn’t come yet. Maybe the hallway was busy.

Nikaidou let fall a few words in a low voice.

"…My uncle asked Saionji-sensei to take him as a disciple. Although he begged him with the willing resolution to even change his school, he wasn’t accepted, and nowadays his body is ruined and he can’t even draw a bow. I always thought this. That if Saionji-sensei chose my uncle instead of you guys, then the future might have changed. Why was it an elementary schooler, and what’s more, someone like you who just passed by… Even now, you’re blessed with an advisor and coach. I can’t forgive you…"

Minato thought that meeting Saionji-sensei and Masa-san were events akin to miracles, so he truly was blessed. But, even if he could redo his life once again, he wouldn’t give up anything.

A beautiful tsurune that shot through his heart.

His encounter with the bow.

"Nikaidou-senpai, you're actually a kyudo nut. I didn’t realize that until now."

"…Hah? How did you get that?"

"And, I think you and I are both lucky. Tsujimine High School’s total number of hits in the preliminaries was eighteen, right? Even though you aren’t a powerhouse school, a school that had people with that high of a hitting rate gathered together surely means that your passion towards kyudo had drew comrades towards you. You can’t win group competitions even if just one person was skilled."

"…Quit it. That’s just a coincidence."

"Yeah. A lucky coincidence."

At that moment, the elevator slowly ascended, and the door opened. Right on the other side were several people, and a nostalgic face greeted Minato.

"Minato! Thank goodness. Here, drink some water."

"Did you and the others go to the bath?"

"We got out of it a long time ago. There was another elevator that was working normally."

"I see. I guess our elevator broke down by chance."

When he checked the time, he learned that they had been confined for forty-five minutes, but it felt like about two hours had passed.

Right after Nikaidou exited the elevator, he collapsed on the spot, and was caught by Fuwa and Ootaguro.

Ootaguro spoke.

"Here, I’ll lend you my shoulder."

"No, I’m fine…"

Fuwa also inserted his arm under Nikaidou’s armpit.

"If you try to be thoughtful in a situation like this, we won’t win tomorrow’s competition, right? Ootaguro and I both know that you have claustrophobia. You should really muzzle your brother. When you were little, you were accidentally locked into a cellar, right? You’re like a certain countryside rich boy." (5)

Nikaidou met his eyes. A nasty smile appeared on his face.

"What the hell … I really am the lamest…"

"Yeah, you're super uncool. It’s too late for you now."

"Shit… Fuwa, I’ll punch your lights out later."

"Can you even punch me when you’re so unsteady like this?"

Nikaidou stood with the support of Fuwa and Ootaguro. They slowly began to walk.

"Sorry about this, Kuro-chan."

"It’s nothing, since you’re so light!"

"…I can’t really be happy about that. Since I’m a boy."

Nikaidou’s brows lowered.

Afterwards, Minato got apologies and explanations from the person from the elevator company and the hotel manager, and then was finally released.

Tommy-sensei placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You must have had quite the scare. Go take a long rest for the rest of today."

"Yes, sir. I am sorry for all the trouble."

Minato was sharing a room with Seiya, but he climbed into bed first and fell asleep just like that. To not wake him up, Seiya passed the time in Kaito, Nanao, and Ryouhei’s room.

Before long, Seiya decided to go to bed and returned to his room, where he noticed that Minato was curled up in blankets that he had brought out from the closet, in addition to his comforter.

Seiya called out to him softly.

"Minato, what’s wrong? Aren’t you hot covered in so many blankets?"

"…I feel way too cold. And my body hurts all over…"

"Cold?"

It wasn’t like the air conditioning was too effective. His exposed skin was red, and he was covered in a faint sheen of sweat. When Seiya felt his forehead, he could feel that he was burning up without having to check his temperature. He could imagine that his body pains were muscle pains from a high fever. Seiya rubbed Minato’s arms, back, and feet.

"How do you feel? Do you feel a little better when I massage you?"

"…Yeah, I feel better. But, Seiya, you should stay away from me. I don’t think it’s the flu or anything like that since it’s summer, but it'd be bad if you caught a cold…"

As soon as he said that, Minato turned over. Frequently turning and tossing in bed happened when one trying to escape from pain or suffering, so he seemed to be in quite a lot of pain. Since muscles covered the entire body, the range of the pain was wide, and Seiya alone could not attend to all of them. Seiya contacted Tommy-sensei and Masa-san.

Thinking how suspicious that people kept entering and exiting the room, Kaito, Nanao, and Ryouhei also visited. Following Seiya, they also volunteered to care for Minato, but the sight of the four boys massaging Minato’s whole body was nothing but hilariously absurd to the point of view of an onlooker.

Masa-san stilled everyone’s hands, and then put the back of his hand to Minato’s cheek.

"He is certainly burning up. I think it’s something like a developmental fever, but let’s take him to the hospital."

He changed his sweaty clothes with the help of Tommy-sensei, and wrapped them in a blanket. They had decided to go to a night hospital, but Minato couldn’t stand up because of the pain all over his body.

Masa-san turned his back to him.

"I'm carrying you."

"…Sorry, Masa-san…"

When they were getting into the taxi, Masa-san spoke.

"Seiya, switch rooms with me. Move to Tommy-sensei’s room."

"But, it’s better that I stay with Minato."

"If you get a fever too and it affects tomorrow’s competition, then Minato would be the one who would feel the most depressed. I'm leaving this to you. Seiya, you are the club president. I’m counting on you to support everyone else."

"…I understand."

Seiya saw the taxi off.

After they reached the hospital, they waited for their turn for a medical examination in the waiting room. They came after they called ahead, but it seemed that it was unexpectedly busy and it would take a while.

The TV would be on during the day, but the screen was turned off at night. Other than this corner, the lights were turned off, and in the darkness, the underwater forest in the aqua terrarium looked like it was floating in the sky. Foam bubbles burst open at the water’s edge.

Masa-san wiped the sweat off Minato’s forehead with a towel. Minato then closed his eyes.

"Do you want to lie down?"

"No. But more importantly, Masa-san, you should keep a distance from me."

"I’ll be fine, since when my whole family had to stay in bed because of the flu, I was the only one who didn’t catch it."

Minato opened his half-closed eyes and smiled a little bit.

"…As expected of Masa-san."

"You can lean on me if you’re tired."

"…No, I’m okay."

Minato crossed his arms to hug himself tightly.

Even though he usually didn’t get fevers, what was he doing after having come such a long way here? Tomorrow was the last day, the day of the finals that he made a promise to Shuu and the others to be in. He even talked with Seiya about managing their health.

He felt like crying at his own feebleness.

Why am I so weak?

Names were called by order, and before long Minato and Masa-san were the only ones in the waiting room.

Minato muttered.

"With my condition like this, I might not be able to be in tomorrow’s match…"

"You went through the experience of being trapped in an elevator, so your body’s been through a shock. You’ll be cured when you take medicine and have a good night’s sleep.”

"It’s okay, you don’t have to comfort me."

"That’s pretty negative for you to say, Minato. I thought you said that you would be in the competition even if you had to crawl. If you weren’t there, then Kazemai would only have four people, you know?"

The jade-green colour of the aqua terrarium was reflected in Minato’s eyes.

"…Sorry. I was being timid just now. That wound on your forehead didn't disappear, Masa-san. Misfortune befalls those who get involved with me…"

"What’s with that chuunibyou-like thing you said? My wound is mostly gone, and even now you can’t see it because my bangs are covering it, right? Oh, did Nikaidou say something to you? He’s quite the talker."

"That’s not it…"

"Your face tells me otherwise. Then let me ask you, do I look unlucky to you?"

Minato shook his head.

"See? The only one who decides if I'm lucky or not is me. It’s not something to have other people decide for you. For me, what’s unlucky is not having that place."

Masa-san grinned.

What they did not hear until now was the sound of the river flowing in the forest of the aqua terrarium.

The clear murmuring of the stream reminded him of a scene from summer training camp. It was fun and pleasant to spend the time together with everyone, and he wished that it could continue on like that forever.

Memories of summer vacation.

His precious bow friends.

"This is often used in analogies, but there is a cup half-filled with water. The levels of happiness are completely different for the people who think it’s half-full, and the people who think it’s half-empty. The one who associates the matter of a cup half-filled with water with things like happy or sad, good or bad, is oneself—"I." The matter itself is not good or evil."

"'Form is emptiness’—it’s similar to the Heart Sutra. Saionji-sensei taught it to us as a breathing method in the past." (6)

"Buddhism preaches casting away worldly desires. That fixations and desires cause people inconvenience. When those limiters are removed, a person are able to perform at their best.”

"Masa-san, I want to ask you something."

"Hmm? What’s that?”

“I want to touch the wound on your forehead——”

The current me can’t be like this person, who has such a clear view of things. "if at that time, if I didn’t stay in that spot and acted with everyone else, Masa-san wouldn’t have been injured”—I can’t erase that regret.

In that case, I’ll accept it all properly. I will continue to bear the truths that I want to turn my eyes away from, that I want to pretend doesn’t exist.

"Go ahead."

Masa-san moved his face closer, presenting his forehead. His eyes, deep blue like the sea, were slowly blinking.

Minato ran his heat-tinged fingers through Masa-san’s bangs.

Previous | Next

[tyranttortoise]

I’m not the anon who asked but can i please get that soulmate with sans’ brother’s s/o thing but with the papyrus personalities?

*I wanted to get an imagine out quick because I’ve got friends flying out tomorrow for my birthday (which is the 17th!), so I won’t have much time to write anything for a couple of weeks.  We’re going to New Orleans, and you guys remember how much I love that, so I’m super excited.  I need a vacation so bad, and I can’t wait to see them.  

I think this meant with Papyruses in general, so here’s the other half of an imagine I did a while back where you’re dating Papyrus, but soulmates with Sans.  

In this one, you’re dating Sans, but soulmates with Papyrus.  I’mma stick most of it under a cut.

UT!bros*You’re dating Sans.

Papyrus doesn’t understand the resonance – not at first, at least.  It comes as a tightness in his SOUL, an elation whenever he’s near you, and a feeling of uneasiness whenever you’re away.  At first, he considers it a feeling brought about by genuinely wanting to be your friend.  After all, you’re dating his brother, so he knows you’re a great person.  You exchange numbers almost immediately, and Papyrus even surprises himself with how eager he is to text you and call you.  

The three of you become mostly inseparable.  If Sans doesn’t invite you over to their house, Papyrus calls you up with a spaghetti invitation.  The two of you spend a lot of time in the kitchen, re-creating the cooking show Chopped that Papyrus was blown away by, while Sans acts as a rather biased judge.  Papyrus sends you pictures and texts every day when you’re away, and it’s beginning to seem like you talk to Papyrus more than your actual bonefriend.

Papyrus is satisfied with being your ULTIMATE BEST FRIEND EVER until you start staying the night at the skelebros’ house.  At first, he was excited at the idea of a sleepover, and he got into his best pajamas (the ones with MTT in robot form all over them) and popped a huge bowl of popcorn, preparing for a movie marathon.  You end up sandwiched between the brothers, covered in a big blanket, but after three movies, you’re exhausted and start to nod off.  Sans wakes up at some point and nudges you awake so the two of you can go upstairs to rest in his bed, and Papyrus… attempts to stall you.  You brush it off as him being eager to finish the last movie, but Sans’s smile seems different when he cracks a joke toward his brother.

Papyrus doesn’t even berate him for using a cheap pun.  

That night, while you’re sleeping in the next room on Sans’s mattress, Papyrus can’t stop rubbing his palm against his sternum and wondering why he feels so… anxious.  

You didn’t sleep well, but you felt like you had the worst case of heartburn ever and internally admonish yourself for having late-night pizza before bed.  Something seems off with Sans, however, and he’s not in the bed when you wake up.  Over the next few days, he seems to become more and more distant, picking up extra shifts and only giving you one-word replies when he texts back.  

It comes to as no surprise when he breaks up with you a week later.  “just not compatible.  sorry, kid.  but hey, no hard feelings, right?  paps would be really upset if you stopped coming by the house, so if you still wanna be friends…”

UF!bros*You’re dating Red.

The moment Edge meets you, he realizes that the universe has an even worse sense of humor than his brother.  

The pull in his SOUL is unmistakable; he’s no fool, and he knows that it’s clearly resonating with yours.  However, his brother’s arm is around you, and you’re laughing at something Red’s said – some stupid joke, he’s sure – which only serves to deepen his scowl.  

How could you – you of all the people out there, the one that’s dating his brother – be the soulmate of the Great and Terrible Papyrus?  He’s outright rude to you from the start, refusing to use your name (“HUMAN, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DIRTY DISHES IN THE SINK LIKE MY LAZYBONES BROTHER!”) and jumping on you over every small slight in an effort to drive you out of his house.  He even surprises Red by snapping at him when Red tells him to chill out, and then sequesters himself in his room.  

His SOUL is vibrating so hard that he feels like he’s going to break apart, but he pushes it down.

Wait… it isn’t vibrating at all.  It’s clenching tight, yes, but the vibration he felt was his rattling ribcage.

HAVE I REALLY FALLEN THIS FAR?  OVER A SIMPLE, SLOVENLY HUMAN?

He tries to avoid you, but one day, you confront him and straight-up get in his face, demanding to know what you did wrong and why he hates you so much.  Edge attempts to flee the conversation (he can’t think over the pounding in his skull, or the way his SOUL feels as if it’s writhing within his body), but you block his path and jab a finger bravely into his chest, lecturing him over his behavior.  Red isn’t around, and you’re determined to make peace with his brother so you can feel comfortable hanging out at your bonefriend’s house.  

Edge can only stare, his expression stricken, as you muster up every bit of your courage to demand to know why he hates you.  

However, you weren’t expecting to choke on the words…

Tears cloud your vision as the word hate catches in your throat.  You’re not even sure why you’re crying – or why your chest feels so tight.  Are you on the verge of an anxiety attack?  Was this a mistake?  Or –

– or is it just that the idea of him hating you hurts?

That’s absurd.  You barely know each other.  Still, as soon as the first tear rolls down your cheek, Edge shocks the hell out of you by gathering you against his chest.  His hold is borderline tender, and for a long time, he doesn’t say anything; he simply holds you while you calm down.  

… Is he shaking?

“I DON’T…”

He hesitates, and you attempt to lift your head, but he holds you tighter, refusing to allow you to look at him.  

“… HATE YOU.”

The two of you don’t speak of what transpired in the hallway that day, but Edge is noticeably nicer to you.  He never mentions the resonance to Red, so his brother remains oblivious.  Of course, you and Red eventually go your separate ways, and you don’t see Edge for several weeks.  

And then, you run into him at a grocery store… and your heart feels like it’s fluttering.  

US!bros*You’re dating Blueberry.

Stretch knows what’s happening the moment he meets you.

The resonance is strong enough that he can feel it in his entire body, however, he’s had enough experience with concealing his true feelings that it doesn’t show.  He had been eager to meet you – his brother has been going on and on about you for weeks, so he knew you had to be a great person – but he never expected his brother’s datemate to be his soulmate.  

He plays it off spectacularly.  He’s friendly toward you, makes plenty of puns (you always laugh at his jokes, and whenever you both end up firing off puns together, Blueberry pretends to be so exasperated), and spends plenty of time hanging out with you and his brother.  He’s always there to offer advice, his sends you memes late at night, and he can kick your ass in every version of Mario Party there is, and yet… he also always gives you and Blue your alone time.  He gives you space, or naps on the couch, and you end up considering him your best friend.

He never tells Blueberry that you’re his soulmate.  He would never do that to his brother, who’s obviously head-over-heels for you – and you love Blueberry, too; Stretch can tell.  Blue’s the kind of person that would break up with you if he knew, and Stretch can never allow that.  

After all, he just wants his two favorite people to be happy, and he’s content with you as his best friend.  Just having you around is enough to make his soul sing.

Who says soulmates can’t be platonic?

SF!bros*You’re dating Blackberry

*heh.  guess i’ve just got that shit of luck, huh?

Mutt should have known that he wouldn’t be worthy of a soulmate.  After all, he’s spent a good portion of his life feeling guilt-ridden and worthless, constantly trying to make up for his previous bout of selfishness.  

So, it comes as no surprise that he would get tested here.  

It also comes as no surprise that he doesn’t react to the resonance.  He could never do that to his brother.  Blackberry’s been a touch-starved mess, yearning for love and affection, and he finally has it from you.  And you’re good for him!  You temper him, keeping him grounded and from having his anger make him impulsive.  You give him a kindness that no one besides Mutt has, which only makes Mutt’s soul swell even more with admiration.  

The three of you spend a fair amount of time together, since it appears that Blackberry feels the most at ease when he’s around his brother.  Mutt, however, avoids being alone with you, and aside from the occasional joke and wink thrown your way, you never become great friends with him.  Although he acts normally around Blackberry, he keeps his guard up, and always seems to twist any efforts you make to get to know him back onto his brother and how magnificent he is.  

Whenever you’re sleeping in Blackberry’s room, however, Mutt spends the night outside with his hood pulled up, chain-smoking dog treats and clutching his chest.  It’s hard to ignore the throb of his SOUL, but he does his damnedest.

Though, he resolves never to drink around you for fear that he’ll get too drunk and blurt something out – or even worse, try to hold you.  He knows that all it would take is one hug, and all his years of repentance would be out the window.    

(*Imagine Masterlist)

[crashdevlin]

Fine

Author’s Note: This is part three of the Happily Ever Eventually series.

Summary: Y/n is determined to go to the Vegas Convention, despite her OB/GYN’s warnings not to travel and Jensen’s protests.

Pairing(s): Jensen Ackles X Reader

Word Count: 5040

Warnings: Fluff, pregnancy, labor stuff, descriptions of a c-section, a small allusion to polyamory

“Okay, but you’re about to pop. You sure you wanna do this?” Jay asked, a slightly worried look in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve got two weeks ‘til I’m due, honey, and Nova was late, so we’re fine.” I smiled and pressed my lips to his cheek. “I promised Adam I’d do Vegas this year, I can’t bitch out because I’m kinda close to time to get this kid cut out of me, Jay.”

“And if you go into labor in Nevada when your doctor is in Florida?”

“I’m sure there are Obstetric Surgeons in Vegas. Stop worrying.”

“What’d Dr. Sexton say?”

I sighed, shaking my head. “She thinks it’s a bad idea to travel in my condition, but-”

“Then, why are you going?”

“Because I want to! Because I haven’t been to a convention in months and some of the fans actually really want me there and I hate sitting at home doing nothing and I miss you when you’re gone and I’m really fucking pregnant and if I do go into labor, I want it to be wherever you are.” I bit my lip, looking down at my protruding belly. “I want to be with you, Jay. Please, don’t make me cancel.”

He smiled, softly, and put both hands on my belly as he bent to catch my eyes. “I couldn’t make you do anything, baby girl. Wouldn’t. I want you with me, too. I just worry. Okay, guess you’re coming. But if Mav ends up with a Nevada birth certificate, I’m blaming you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I hate that they killed Tara off instead of writing the baby in. Dean would be such a good dad!”

I raised my eyebrows at the fan on the sidelines of the auditorium. “Did they kill Tara off? Did we actually see her die? I really don’t remember. My life has been super crazy over the last eight months. Did we really kill her?” The audience shouted out ‘yes’, but a few responded with, “No one ever stays dead!” “Ah, but she’s not a Winchester, or Castiel. She’s not one of Chuck’s faves. She’s just a witch and a love-interest. How many of those have ever come back, right?”

I shrugged. Of course, Tara was coming back but I wasn’t supposed to let them know that. “Anyway, Dean is a good dad! Look at Jack!” I chuckled. “Thank you for your kind words. I’ll tell the writers that they’re assholes for not writing the baby in.” I swiveled to the other side of the stage. “Hi!”

“Hi! I was wondering, how did Tom react to you getting with Jensen?”

I nodded. “Um, he… huh, he did not take it well. Um… he sent… sorry, let me rephrase for the legal team… A box full of vacuum-sealed rat carcasses was sent to my parents’ home addressed to me. There was no return address, but even the cops said it was probably sent by someone who was quote, ‘Unhappy about my new relationship’.” I smiled, brightly. “I responded by sending him copies of my ultrasound pictures and one of me giving him the finger.”

I cleared my throat. “I mean, really, I expected a lot more backlash from him. The man literally thought he owned me, so… it was an ordeal. There were some letters sent, anonymous of course, calling me all sorts of names, and someone dox’ed me in Tom’s name, but there were some very awesome feminist hackers that worked to get my information taken down, so… I will say that, uh, Tom’s fans were more pissed off about me getting with Jensen than some of you guys and that blows my mind. I guess they thought I broke his heart or cheated on him or something and they… didn’t take kindly.”

“So, have you come up with a name for the baby, yet?” the next fan asked.

“Yes. But it’s a surprise, so… You guys’ll find out in a few weeks, I promise.”

“When you got with Jensen the first time, was that before or after the scene in Sleeping Beauty in the library?”

I laughed. “It was before and therefore super awkward. Like, it was a huge deal to Richard that he was the one directing the ep where Dara became canon so his enthusiasm was a bit weird and I had just broken up with Tom that morning and the day before was the first time I'd spoken to Jay in months and kissing him was this huge scary thing that I guess I over prepared for. We did the first take and then Richard says ‘Well it looks like you've prepared for this, put a lot of thought into it, but I need you to be more surprised when he kisses you’. So I said, you know, that I had prepared and he said ‘It's called Acting, sweetheart’ and then he sent me of to prepare to look unprepared. Several minutes later, Jensen walks up, starts talking about Jare and him taking me to dinner to celebrate me coming to my senses about Tom and I started to respond and then he just grabs my head and kisses me. Well, they were trying to catch me off-guard and it fuckin’ worked. I'm not angry about it. The footage was perfect, but it's not exactly the first kiss story I wanna tell our kid about.”

“How did you guys even… get together? That sounds rude, but I'm just so curious. I mean, you guys were friends, then Tom came in and tore you away from him and then you came back and… what, when Danneel filed for divorce, you and Jensen fell into bed?”

“Um, no. Uh, there was always this sexual tension between us, which I genuinely thought was imagined for a very long time. I really thought it was wishful thinking or just that kinda funny sexual humor shit he does with Misha, but it was always there, and when I was with Tom, I realized how much I missed Jensen. Like, I was predisposed to fall in love with Jay. I was half in love with him from the get and… when he told me that Dee was divorcing him, I cried with him. After yelling at him to fix it, of course. I mean, I’d just broken up with Tom, so I didn't want another relationship to die when I was building my own a pyre. But we cried together and that's when I knew… that's when I knew I really loved him, because I knew that the two of us together, we could handle anything. Broken hearts, busted careers, terrible exes, nothing could touch me if I had Jay.”

A few loud ‘Awww's broke through the noise and I chuckled. “I expected it to be this unrequited thing and I was gonna be okay with that, but… but then Danneel filed for divorce and Jensen needed me to be there for him and… the two of us together, we handled it.”

“And then you got to handle him,” the fan said.

I laughed. “You’re right. And I’m sure y’all are fishing for some personal information on us gettin’ together, but… Jay’s pretty private so…” There were boos across the auditorium and I laughed again. “Okay… so… I’ll tell you that, uh, he’s...just as awesome as you assume.”

“What is your response to Tom saying that you were Jensen’s mistress way back in 2017?” another fan asked.

“The man sent me dead rats because he didn’t like me dating Jensen. I’m not responding to any ridiculous accusations he has.”

The next few questions were about the show. “If there were a way to bring Tara back, do you think you’d do it?” “When you were just friends with Jensen, was it hard to do the flirty scenes?” “Have the boys ever pranked you before?” “Misha said he made you a gift for the baby shower. What was it?”

I glowed at that question. I saw it in the videos and pictures later. My whole face lit up at that question, despite the cramping pain starting up in my abs. I ran my hand across my belly. “A fucking crib! He made a solid oak crib, with a changing station, a place for a laundry basket, and an alcove to put a diaper pail! The side also removes so that it can become a regular toddler bed when the kid gets old enough. It’s fuckin’ gorgeous, too! I can’t believe Misha didn’t post pics of it when he was making it!”

“Why don’t you?!” someone in the audience shouted.

“Uh, because he etched the kid’s name on it and I said that’s a fuckin’ surprise.” I hissed in pain and cleared my throat as Louden Swain took the stage behind me. “Oh, and I guess that’s gonna have to be the end, you guys! I will see you guys at SNS!”

“You okay?” Bri asked when I made it to the Green Room.

I nodded. “I’ve just got really bad heartburn again. I’ve got Tums in my bag.”

“You aren’t gonna go into labor, are you? Because I think Jensen would probably be pretty pissed off if you had that baby while he was on a plane,” Kim said, walking up to me with a bottle of water.

“I’m not in labor. I just have heartburn. Leave me alone.”

“Are you sure? You want someone to drive you to the hospital?” Misha asked, kneeling down in front of where I was sitting on the little loveseat sofa. Kim, Bri and Adam Fergus all muttered in agreement, offering to call a car and go with.

I shook my head at them. “I’m not missing my first Saturday Night Special in eight months just because I’ve got heartburn. It’s fine.” Their mutters turned to ones of disbelief and I rolled my eyes. “Seriously! My water has not broken, I’m not having contractions, I’ve got two weeks ‘til Maverick is supposed to come out, leave me alone.” I hissed again as a cramp rolled across my lower half.

“You sure you’re not having contractions, sweetie?” Bri asked with a small smile on her lips.

“They’re just Braxton-Hicks. They’re not regular, they don’t hurt anywhere near as bad as the real ones. Again, I’m fine. Go away.”

“Did you bring your hospital bag with you, just in case?” Misha asked.

I groaned. “Of course I did! Do you really think Jensen would let me travel two thousand miles without bringing my comfort bag? Now, come on. Go do something else. I’m gonna take a nap.”

“Are you gonna be able to sing tonight?” Rob asked, walking into the Green Room as I lied down on my side.

“I’m definitely going to sing tonight. I can’t promise it’ll be my best performance, but I’m gonna do it.”

“If she doesn’t give birth before then.” I threw my water bottle at Misha’s head, but I was lying down so it missed.

“Okay, okay. Leave her alone.” Misha retrieved the bottle and handed it back to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Bri and Kim text-” Jay said, walking in and dropping his bag on the floor next to the loveseat.

“I’M FINE!” I shouted. He raised his eyebrows at me. “I’m sorry, honey. They just… They’ve been so… I’m hormonal, that’s all. Hi, I missed you.” I sat up and moved to stand but he just leaned down and wrapped me in a hug.

“You sure you’re good to-”

“Yes! Yes, I’m good. I’m good to get on stage and sing, Jay. I’m not in labor. Calm down.”

“Okay. They had me worried.”

“I would have called you if I were in labor. I would be at the hospital telling the doctors not to cut me open until you showed up.”

He chuckled. “I can just imagine that, you screaming at the doctors not to touch you ‘til I get there.”

“Exactly. And at least I can trust you not to look behind the curtain when they tell you not to.”

“What curtain?” Misha asked, walking up.

“When they start the c-section, they’re gonna have a plastic curtain up so that I can be in the OR with her, sitting by her head and keeping her calm while they cut her open.” He chuckled. “Nate looked behind the curtain; got to see y/n’s intestines and insides. It, apparently, scarred him.”

“Deserved it.” I laughed. “He almost fainted!”

“Well, I will be looking at your gorgeous face, so you won’t have to worry about that.”

“You really think my face is gonna look gorgeous when I’m in labor? I’m gonna be all sweaty and red and-”

“Bullshit. They’re gonna give you an epidural and you’re not gonna be feeling a damn thing.”

“Oh, I hope it lasts the whole surgery this time.” Misha and Jay both raised their eyebrows at me. “I haven’t told you this? The epidural wore off halfway through Nova’s birth. They had to give me more anesthetic… after I finally convinced them that I wasn’t feeling pressure, I was feeling pain, which took about ten minutes. Nova’s birth was sucky for everybody, even her. She was purple when they pulled her out, wasn’t breathing. I’m sure Maverick’s gonna be a lot easier.”

“I hope so. I don’t know how I’d deal if Mav wasn’t breathing,” Jay said.

“You’d cry,” I answered.

“Yeah, probably,” he admitted. “Come on. Let’s go get dressed for the SNS.” He helped me up from the loveseat and picked up his bag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pain in my stomach got more persistent as the night progressed. Okay, so I was in labor, but I had important shit going on and I could power through pain. My water hadn’t broken and there were still six minutes between contractions, so I knew that going to the hospital wasn’t going to help anything.

I wore a cute purple maternity dress and the cutest ballet flats I owned. Jared insisted on helping me onto the stage, even though there was a handrail on both sides of the stairs. It was endearing, but also hilarious. Billy handed me a microphone as Jared bounced down the stairs. “You ever notice that men seem to think you’re an invalid once you get so pregnant you can’t see your feet? I mean, I worked a retail job until right before I popped with Nova.”

“You gonna be jumping around like you used to do, then?” Rob asked.

“You’re hilarious, Robbie. No, if I start jumping around, I might dislodge this kid and no one wants that… except me and Jay and both of our families and all of the kids… what was I talking about?”

“Pregnancy brain. You were gonna sing for us, y/n/n,” Rob responded.

“Oh, yeah! Mary Lambert. Duh.” I laughed, louder than normal to hide a whimper as another contraction tore through me. Adam Malin stood at the keyboard and started to play. “I’m a million miles away, from anywhere. Slide my hands across the sheets, pretend you’re there. But missin’ you is a slow burn, And every time the earth turns, I’m reminded the night is only half the time. Even though I’m hurtin’ I know that this is worth it. Tell me it’ll be all right. Gotta give me something to get me through the nothin’. One more night.” Stephen came in with heavy drums as the chorus started.

“Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear. I’m a better person when I have you here. Oh, I-I got you, And I-I can get through, anything as long as I can see your face. But right now, you’re so far away, so far away. You’re so far away, so far away.” There were not an overwhelming amount of people who were singing along, but that’s okay. I wasn’t really singing for them. I was singing for me and Jay, listening right behind the big black curtain. “I don’t need a map to tell me where you are. You and I, we come from the same star. Every day is a heartache. And every night I lie awake, I’m reminded the bed is only half mine. Even when I’m hurting I know that this is worth it. Tell me it’ll be all right. Gotta give me something to get me through the nothing, One more night. Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear. I’m a better person when I have you here. I-I got you. And I-I can get through, Anything as long as I can see your face. But right now, you’re so far away, so far away. You’re so far away, so far away.”

I bit my lip as another contraction hit me. Much quicker than the six minute interval from before. Maybe four minutes this time. I gripped the mic tighter and kept singing into the bridge. The show must go on and all that. As Freddie Mercury said, “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”

“Nobody’s got the time, nobody’s got the time, nobody’s got the for love. Nobody’s got the time, nobody’s got the time, nobody’s got the time for love.” I took a deep breath and poured my heart into the last chorus. “Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear. I’m a better person when I have you here. I-I got you, and I-I can get through, Anything as long as I can see your face. Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear. I’m a better person when I have you here. I-I got you, and I-I can get through, Anything as long as I can see your face. But right now you’re so far away, so far away. You’re so far away, so far away.”

The audience exploded as the song finished and tears started rolling down my cheeks, completely without asking me if I wanted to cry. “Oh, god you guys are so awesome! I missed this so much! Thank you for making this SNS worth it!”

Jared rushed the stage to help me down and Jay smiled at me. “How you doin’, Baby Girl?”

“I’m good, Jay. Rock the house for me.”

He winked at me and jumped up onto the stage. “Las Vegas!” Screaming from the audience as I took a seat on the stairs. I wanted to hear him, but the contractions were killing me at this point. “What’d you think of my girl’s song?!” More screaming, a little bit of blushing from me. “Her voice is so freakin’ awesome! Hate to have to follow that, man! But I will, with an equally sappy song that’s got the bonus of being about sex.” Stephen started to drums and I smiled. Matt Nathanson, ‘Come On Get Higher’. I love that song.

“I miss the sound of your voice. And I miss the rush of your skin. And I miss the still of the silence, As you breathe out and I breathe in. If I could walk on water, If I could tell you what’s next, I’d make you believe. I’d make you forget. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, And drown me in love. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, and drown me in love.” I turned to see if I could see him through the curtain, but he was on the other side of the stage. “I miss the sound of your voice, The loudest thing in my head. And I ache to remember, All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said. If I could walk on water, If I could tell you what’s next, I’d make you believe. I’d make you forget. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, And drown me in love. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, and drown me in love.”

I smiled, knowing what part was coming next. My favorite part of the song. “I miss the pull of your heart. I taste the sparks on your tongue. I see angels and devils and God when you come… on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!” He didn’t even try to hit that high note, but it sounded better without it. “Sing sha la la. Sing sha la la la.” He went to humming after that, obviously avoiding the high-pitched ‘ooh’s.  “So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, And drown me in love. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, and drown me in love.”

“You okay?” Jared asked over the sound of the fans screaming themselves hoarse.

“Yup,” I lied.

“Okay. You’re just holding off until Jensen gets done singing, aren’t you?”

“Yup.”

“How close are they?”

“Every four minutes or so. I’d say they aren’t very strong, but I have a pretty good pain tolerance, so… eye-dee-kay. I sang through one, so they can’t be that strong.”

“Uh-huh. I’m gonna tell him.”

I looked up at him. I couldn’t stop him from going up those stairs if I tried. “Please don’t. I wanna hear ‘Simple Man’. After. Please.” Jared sat next to me on the steps and ran his hand over my back. Unfortunately, halfway through the second chorus, my water broke all over the steps and the floor under them. Jared jumped up before I could ask him to stop and ran onto the stage. The music cut out and I could hear all kinds of whispering.

“We’re sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday Night Special, but I’m going to have to steal Jensen away. His girlfriend’s water just broke so he has somewhere he’s gotta be,” Jared explained over the microphone as Jay ran through the curtain and helped me up.

“How long have you been in labor?” he demanded.

“Um… contractions started at 2, but they didn’t get regular until about forty-five minutes ago.”

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Before the show even started?! What the-”

“I wanted to hear you sing! I haven’t been to a con in forever!” I defended. “Besides, this kid isn’t coming out without a surgeon’s permission, so it’s not a big deal.”

“Clif!” Clif showed up with my delivery bag in hand, and he and Jensen drove me to the hospital. We went to the ER, where they were upset because I, you know, wasn’t supposed to be there. Jensen was loud and intimidating about it. “Of course we’re not registered with your Labor and Delivery! We’re here working and she wasn’t due for another two freakin’ weeks. We need an emergency c-section done!”

They argued about that. They didn’t understand why I need the cesarean, so I had to explain it to them. Eventually, after being in pain for hours, after Jay being on edge the entire time we were in the ER, they got me into an OR and gave me an epidural and set up that curtain. Jensen kept his eyes on my face. He kept my right hand clasped between his hands. He kissed my knuckles and told me that I was the most amazing and beautiful woman he’d ever seen, even with a cap on my head and a hospital gown on and half of my insides out. “You know what that probably looks like?” I asked, nodding at the curtain. He shook his head. “No Rest For The Wicked. When Dean got torn to shit by hellhounds. Probably looks like that.”

He shook his head. “Don’t make me wanna look on the other side of this curtain, Baby Girl. I gotta be smarter than Nate.”

“Already smarter than him.”

A small cry from the other side of the OR caught our attention. It was hoarse, crackly, the first time those vocal chords had ever been used. Jensen squeezed my hand as tears started to roll down into my hairline. “Hear that?” he whispered. I nodded. “He’s got some lungs on him.”

“Well, his parents are both singers so…” I took a deep breath. “They’re gonna make you leave in a minute. They gotta close me up and take me to Recovery before they give me a room. Take a bunch of pictures of him in the nursery, because I’m gonna be in Recovery for like two hours, mostly sleeping and Nate fucked up and didn’t get the pictures of Nova in the nursery and-”

Jensen kissed my knuckles again as the nurse told him he’d have to leave so that they could close. “I’m smarter than Nate, remember? I’ll get you a bunch of pictures, Baby Girl.”

I passed out in Recovery, woke up as I was being transferred to my room. The first words out of my mouth when I settled into the new bed were, “When can I see him?”

“You can see pictures right now. Maverick Maxwell Ackles. Seven pounds, ten ounces. 19 inches long. Forcibly removed from his mother at 1:24 am on December 29.” Jensen walked in with his phone in hand. “You wanna see?”

“What kinda question is that?” I groaned. “Of course I wanna see. Show me what our son looks like.”

“Tiny, wrinkly and adorable,” Jay said, leaning over to show me his phone screen.

I gasped and started crying as he flipped through the pictures he took of Mav. ‘Tiny, wrinkly and adorable’ was exactly right. “He’s so beautiful. Look at those tiny hands,” I squealed.

The nurse smiled as I grabbed the phone and flipped it to show her. “Oh, he’s perfect.”

“C-section babies don’t get the smooshed face. Oh, god, look at those eyes. You think he’s gonna have your eyes?”

“We can only hope,” Jensen said, smiling. “Hey, uh, you mind if I start bringing people in? I know we can’t have too many people in here at this time of night, but they’ve been sitting in the waiting room for hours. They all rushed over here as soon as they closed out the show.”

“You can bring in two at a time,” the nurse said.

“When do I get to hold Maverick?” I asked. It was more important than seeing our friends.

“Soon. Bring in a few of your friends. I’ll bring Maverick in as soon as the doctors allow it, all right?” the nurse said with a smile.

I nodded, turning to Jay. “Kim and Bri first. I want the mommas with me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I made Jay go to the convention the next day. I was sleeping most of the day away, anyway, because the pain meds made me so sleepy. The room was full of cards and vases of flowers from fans and friends by the time I got released. We couldn’t even take them all with us. We drove to Austin. I slept through most of it, really only waking up to feed Maverick every once in a while. When we got to Jay’s house in Lago Vista, I was ready to climb in bed and heal. I gasped in surprise when Jay opened the door to reveal our families. The kids rushed us. I had to stop Nova short with a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, baby! Well, you’re not the baby, anymore.”

“I got to fly in an airplane!” Nova said, excitedly.

“Your boyfriend bought us all tickets,” my mom said, smiling. She gestured at the baby carrier. “Can I?”

I nodded and she moved to unclip Mav as Jay picked up Birdie in one arm and Arrow in the other. I looked across the living room at Danneel, who was hiding a bit in her hair. We hadn’t spoken. Not since before the divorce, not since before Tom, not since the park. I stepped away from Jensen’s side and approached. “Thanks for bringing them. I mean, it’s important for Jay.”

Danneel took a deep breath, moved her hair out of her face and smiled. “It’s important for me, too, that they know him. He’s their little brother. I wouldn’t keep them away from him.”

“I thought… maybe, ‘cause…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, y/n. I think…” She looked over my shoulder at my parents and the kids and Jensen, who were all fawning over the baby. “I think if I hadn’t gotten so jealous of the way Jensen fell for you, if I hadn’t tried to minimize it, we wouldn’t have fallen apart. Maybe we all could have been happy.”

I shook my head, disbelieving. “You don’t blame me?”

“No, sweetie. I tried real hard, but… you did everything right. You were content to be a good friend until I brought you into our craziness. You left when you thought you might be able to minimize the damage. I should have helped Jay through the hurt your leaving caused him, but instead I just got upset that he was in so much pain. In a perfect world, we could have been one big happy family. I wish I'd seen that back then.”

I sighed. “He still loves you, you know? I didn't understand it either, how he could love us both, but… he loves us both.”

She smiled, brightly. “I know.”

“Maybe it's not too late for a perfect world,” I suggested. Maybe it was a consequence of my residual guilt from their divorce that drove me to say it, maybe it was just me wanting Jensen to have everything his heart desires, but once the words had left my mouth I knew that I would have absolutely no problem sharing his heart. ‘One big happy family’ actually sounded amazing.

“Maybe not, sweetie. Maybe not. Now, can I see that little boy?” I nodded and turned, leading Dee to the couch where my mom was cooing over Mav.

“Everything okay?” Jay whispered, as Danneel sat next to Mom and took Maverick’s tiny hand in hers.

I looked up at him, smiling. “Yeah, honey. I think everything’s actually gonna be fine.”

OPEN/SOMETHING MORE

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[this-citadel-is-truly-blessed]

Every Question Has its Answer

Mikazuki has been facing a strange sickness the past few days, and he thought it couldn’t get any worse. But then he was dispatched, and... Apparently it could. He is convinced to get at least one of his questions answered to alleviate one of his concerns. But... it leaves him with an answer he wasn’t expecting.

The following writing is the complete third chapter from my work, The Fox and the Moon. Want to read the full work? You can go to my work list and click on the respective link, or just click [here]

It felt like everything was falling apart. The usually brilliant sword sat crestfallen on the porch of the citadel. He made no effort to remove is elaborate uniform as he normally would. The area was completely vacant, unoccupied by any of the other swords, giving him the opportunity to sulk in peace.

The mission went horribly.

None of the swords were terribly damaged, thank heavens. They were at least not past the point of irreparable. And they were in fact able to fight off the army enough to actually call the mission “successful.”

That was the point. “They.” They as in Souza, Ookurikara, Otegine, Horikawa, and Kogitsunemaru. They were able to fight them off.

Mikazuki, on the other hand, couldn’t.

He tried so hard. But that one just caught him off guard...

They ran into the army not too long after they got to their destination. Like usual, the sparring was pretty heavy initially. Mikazuki fought near Souza, Otegine by Horikawa, and Kogitsunemaru and Ookurikara each held their own. But somehow Souza got out of Mikazuki’s sights, leaving him to fend for himself.

That was never usually a huge problem. It happened every once in awhile, and he was ultimately prepared for such a thing. However this time he was caught off guard by one of those monsters and fell to the ground. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how hard he fought, he could not for the life of him get back up. He was practically helpless. Thank goodness Kogitsunemaru took notice. His voice was still practically ringing in his ears: “Mikazuki! What the Hell is wrong with you?”

The mere recollection made Mikazuki shiver.

He watched as Kogitsunemaru broke off from his own fight to come to his rescue. He danced around him, destroying enemies one by one, getting hit one time after another while Mikazuki froze still. He just lay there in shock, unable to move. Just letting Kogitsunemaru fight for him, take his hits. None of it was fair.

First of all, not to sense something like that was completely unlike him. Secondly, to not be able to rebound was even more bizarre. What made it even worse was that he had no excuse for it. He visited Shokudaikiri just before the mission, just saying he had a bit of an upset stomach, and he suggested ginger or lemon. Being the tea-lover he was, Mikazuki managed to make himself a nice cup of ginger-lemon tea and it did wonders; throughout the whole mission he barely had a touch of nausea. But whether he was sick or not, that made no difference. He still put the rest of the swords in danger, and that was unforgivable. He let Kogitsunemaru get hurt on his behalf. These injuries were his fault and his fault only.

Every passing second only filled him with more painful guilt. This was why he let all the other swords get repaired first, for his injuries were minute, and he was honestly too embarrassed to be waiting beside them in the waiting area. He felt absolutely horrible.

And the way Kogitsunemaru yelled at him. Thinking about it put a knot in his chest. Kogitsunemaru must have been angry at him. He messed up, horribly in fact. This could have ended in the breaking of one of the swords; he could have been responsible for the destruction of Kogitsunemaru. The one person he wanted to spend eternity with he almost let get destroyed.

Taking that into consideration, Mikazuki would be surprised if he didn’t hate him.

His heart sped up. Goodness, what was he going to say when he saw Kogitsunemaru again? How could he rightfully apologize? What was Kogitsunemaru going to say? Would he feel that it was just an accident? What if Kogitsunemaru did feel that Mikazuki put his life in danger? Would he then break things off with him? Was everything going to end between the two of them?

It was then that he felt a tear drip down the side of his face. All of a sudden he felt this urge to bawl. Like he had no control over himself. He threw his head into his palms and did as he felt; he sat there and sobbed. He didn’t care if anyone saw him. It simply overtook him. The fear. The sadness. The guilt. It all rushed through him at once and came forward with heavy tears.

While he broke down, he began to feel something poking at his side. At first he could not feel it from beneath his armor; he only noticed something was trying to get his attention when a small, cream colored fox nuzzled into his lap and began to sniff around his abdomen. Noticing the little mammal, Mikazuki lifted his head from his hands and could not help but give a somber smile as his face remained drenched in tears. He exhaled and gave the little animal a pat on the head. It was Nakigitsune's fox, which meant Nakigitsune was not too far behind.

Looking up from the fox, letting it return to its investigation, he saw Nakigitsune leaning upon one of the wooden posts that edged the porch.

“You must excuse me, Nakigitsune,” he said wiping his eyes as his voice quivered. “I had no idea you were nearby.”

A few seconds passed until Nakigitsune actually looked towards him. “Are… You okay?”

Mikazuki nodded. “Yes.” He paused. “I will be alright.”

The fox on his lap stopped his investigation and sat, looking up at Mikazuki with his big black eyes. “What’s the matter?”

He averted his gaze in what looked like shame. He could explain everything to the little fox, but truthfully he didn’t want to. However, he could never just go without an explanation. “I failed horribly today.”

The fox tilted his head in confusion.

“On the mission, I was caught by surprise and just froze. I let everyone down.”

“In what way?” He continued to inquire.

“Well, everyone else was put in danger because of me.”

“Everyone seemed okay though. I saw them awaiting their repairs and none of them seemed that damaged.”

“Why yes, but-”

“Then there should be nothing to be so upset about! Maybe you had a bad day today, but luckily all turned out okay in the end. Everyone has a bad day and today just happened to be yours.”

Mikazuki was not sure of what to say next. It just seemed that the fox didn’t understand the situation at all. But could this be just a simple misstep? Is this something that can really be so easily overlooked? He felt so miserable. Was it all over nothing? His tears, over nothing?

Kogitsunemaru did not make it seem like a small thing, though. He practically yelled at him. Thinking about it again, Mikazuki felt the tears building in his eyes yet again.

“I can see why it’s upsetting you, though,” the fox continued. “But as long as everyone is alright, you should have nothing to worry about.” It was then that something caught the fox’s attention. It seemed that he forgot all about the conversation at hand and found that returning to his original investigation was of utmost importance. He stuck his nose in between the openings of Mikazuki’s gold and red plates and continued sniffing into the fabric. He then leapt upon his shoulders and stuck his nose into his neck, still sniffing with intent unbeknownst to Mikazuki.

“Have you seen Yagen recently?” The fox finally said.

He shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”

“Have you been feeling sick by any chance?”

That was a surprise. How did the fox know? “I have for the past four days," he admitted. "It’s probably just a stomach virus.”

“Really?” He paused. “If you ask me, I think you should see Yagen.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Let us walk with you,” he insisted, “to see you get there safely.”

“I guess I don’t have a choice then.” Mikazuki again forced a smile. “Thank you.”

Nakigitsune motioned closer to Mikazuki’s side, enabling the little fox to return to his shoulders. Mikazuki stood slowly, and they made their way to find Yagen.

As they expected, they found him kneeling in his room occupying a few of his younger brothers. Mikazuki slid his door open and of course greeted each sword properly and let Nakigitsune go with another thank you.

“Good evening, Mikazuki. What brings you here?”

“Well, I was hoping to speak with you, privately.”

“Oh. Of course.” The tantou dismissed Namazuo, Honebami, and Akita and invited Mikazuki to join him on the floor. “What seems to be the issue?”

Mikazuki then began to explain everything; the sickness as well as his general distress.

“Four days, you say?”

Mikazuki nodded.

“And no fevers or chills.”

He shook his head.

“No… Headaches perhaps?”

Again he shook his head.

“But you’ve been vomiting for the past four consecutive days… See. Even with a stomach virus, the vomiting really only lasts twenty-four hours.”

“That’s what Shokudaikiri said.”

Yagen concurred. “And it isn't food poisoning. I have to say, Mikazuki, I’m stumped.” He paused, turning to the side and thought for a moment or two. Then he seemed to think of something.

“You aren’t experiencing any heartburn, are you?”

“Heartburn?”

“A slight burning in your chest, primarily near the breastbone.”

Mikazuki took a second to think and rubbed his chest. “Now that you mention it, I do.”

That’s when it seemed to click. He got an idea. “How would you feel if I asked for a urine sample from you?”

“Well, sure. But do you have any idea what is the matter with me?”

Yagen stood up, “I have a hunch, but let me test this before I make any conclusions. I don’t think you should worry in any case. If you can just wait a bit for me to test it, I should have an answer for you within the next day.”

Mikazuki went silent. He was hoping to have an answer sooner than the next day, but there was nothing that could be done. He watched as Yagen grabbed what looked like a cup and handed it to him. “Once this is taken care of, bring it back to me so I can test it as soon as possible. Alright?” He said with a comforting smile. “I am sure you will be fine.”

Mikazuki then stood up and gave thanks to Yagen. “Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to aid me.”

“Please. It is no problem. I just hope you feel better soon.”

He smiled and made his way out the door. Although before leaving, Yagen stopped him again.

“Oh, Mikazuki if I may ask one last question. It will help me more with the test."

“What is it?”

Yagen seemed to hesitate before asking, and Mikazuki soon knew why. “Have you had intercorse at least one time in the past six to eight weeks?”

“Yes,” he said. “Yes I have.”

Yagen nodded. “Alright. I believe that is all I need to know. I’ll be seeing you shortly.”

After getting the sample for Yagen and giving it to him, Mikazuki returned to his own chamber. Yagen said he would get the results sometime in the next twenty-four hours and would let him know the results right away. So until then he decided to undress and make himself some more of that lemon and ginger tea. At this time of evening, he and Kogitsunemaru would always spend their time together, if they were not already together by that point in the evening. Although, Kogitsunemaru was getting repaired at the moment, so he would not be back for a few days. It was probably for the best anyway; Mikazuki really did not want to have to confront that just yet, for he was still afraid that their relationship was going to take a toll from today’s events. At least he had some time to think things over before having to confront him directly. Taking that into consideration, he had nothing else to do but wait for Yagen’s return.

By the time it was sundown, Mikazuki assumed that Yagen was not coming tonight. So he would have to wait for the morning. He decided to head to bed anyway, for he was exhausted from the day’s events.

Just as he was about to go into his bed, there was a knock on the wood of his door. Sliding the door open he saw the boy, still in his white coat, with this wonderful look in his eyes. “I hope you don’t mind me coming so late. I tested it as soon as I could and got some interesting results, to say the least. Do you have some time now? Or I can always come back tomorrow if you would prefer.”

“No, I have a moment now. Come in. Would you like any tea?”

“Oh, no thank you,” he responded as he walked in and knelt on the floor before Mikazuki. “So. Thank you for your patience. But I think I have an answer for what you’ve been experiencing.”

“Is it anything I have to be concerned about?”

Yagen seemed to laugh. “I wouldn’t say so. It’s actually a wonderful thing, in my opinion. I don't have all of the details currently, but if you let me work with you, I'm sure we can figure everything out."

Mikazuki had to admit, he was a bit confused. He was not exactly sure what he meant by 'working with him.' And for these past few days, he had been miserable. But when he gazed into Yagen’s lilac eyes as he talked about this, he saw only gladness, and excitement. Gladness from his misery? He did not understand. How could any of this be beneficial?

“I’ll just get to the point then,” he said seeing the questioning look in Mikazuki’s eyes. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Let me be the first to congratulate you,” He took off his glasses and looked directly to the one across from him. “Congratulations Mikazuki Munechika. You’re going to be a father.”

[mental-mona]

So you've just been diagnosed with a chronic illness – an orientation

  So you've just been diagnosed with a chronic illness, huh? Welcome to the club; there are a lot of us here! I wouldn't presume to guess what your exact illness is, but most of us have some kind of fatigue and physical and/or mental pain going on, so that seems like a safe bet. Since you're new here, I thought I'd give you some idea of what to expect and what to do as you battle your illness.

First and foremost, accept it. Life is not going to be the way it was before. You will always either have some kind of symptom or be on the lookout for signs of a flare/episode. I'm not going to tell you to suck it up, buttercup, because that would be neither useful nor fair, but you do need to grieve your past life in your own way and then look towards your future life with this condition. It really is a process of grief - the whole idea of the 5 stages of grief is nonsense, but whatever grief looks like to you, this will be a form of it. You had this whole, lovely, capable life before, and now…what? You have no idea, and it's scary, and most likely right now life is pain. It's a tangible loss, and that fact shouldn't be denied. You need to mourn for the life you had, but you also need to accept that this is your new reality and not keep trying to do things you can't or shouldn't. It's frustrating as hell, but sometimes you'll find yourself simply unable to do something that you used to do without thinking twice about it. Feel that frustration, then accept it and learn to work with it. Your job depends on computers but your wrists are killing you? This is why braces exist. Can't see the screen in its default state, or its default state is so bright that it gives you a headache? This is why it's possible to mess with the brightness and contrast settings on your computer. Whatever your problem is, there's probably a workaround or something that will at least temporarily relieve the symptoms. You've got this.

 Ok, so whatever you have isn't curable, it can't be treated well enough that you'll have an overall good quality of life, and/or it's degenerative? When you've reached a point where it becomes clear that basic workarounds aren't going to cut it, it's time for some planning. Do you need someone to help you with your job? Transportation? Basic tasks? Who do you think should help you, and how? Obviously you don't want to think about being debilitated, but I'm afraid you're going to have to swallow your pride here lest you find yourself stuck without a way to get to a doctor appointment, or worse, stuck in bed with no one to feed you and help you get to the bathroom without falling over. Again, the goal is to accept your illness and work with it. I'd give you more concrete suggestions, but I don't know your precise condition nor would I presume to ask.

 Ok, now let's discuss how to live within your new, more limited reality until you adjust to whatever its default state ends up being. The first thing you need to do is find a doctor who specializes in whatever system of your body is a problem, preferably one with specific expertise on your condition. There may be paperwork to fill out before your initial visit - pages and pages of it - but hopefully the results will be worth it. You need to develop a working rapport with your doctor; don't forget that unless you live in an area with really crappy healthcare or you have really crappy insurance, you can always "fire" your current doc and find someone you like better. There is no good reason to put up with a doctor who has a God complex if you don't absolutely have to.

Once you've found a specialist whom you feel listens to you and whom you can work with, it's time to discuss what you want to tackle first. Which symptom(s) you find most bothersome may determine which medication or therapy the doctor tries with you first. Then it's time for an unpleasantly prolonged game of "Symptom or Side Effect?" as your body keeps doing weird new things and you keep talking to your doctor. That patient information they give out with every drug they dispense at the pharmacy is your friend; at minimum look at the parts about side effects so that you can at least make an educated guess in the game, and if it seems like the med is doing something nasty to you then your doctor can change it. Unfortunately there is no magic pill that will fix all of your issues with no side effects; the question is more the pro/con ratio. The med's doing wonders for one symptom but now you can't pee? Nope, sorry, that's not acceptable. (Yes, side effects can be that weird; let's just say that that example was not pulled from thin air.) The med doesn't seem to be doing anything particularly bad, but doesn't seem to be doing anything particularly good either? Also not acceptable. The med's making your illness better but now you're always tired? Up to you whether that's acceptable; if it is, great, and if not, hopefully your doctor will have something else up their sleeve.

Depending on your illness, until you and your doctor figure out what normal looks like for you, you may unfortunately find yourself spending a lot of time in the ER as well as the doctor's office. There may be no help for it; it can take time to learn to differentiate, say, heartburn from a heart attack, and until you learn to differentiate between "normal" pain and "something's really wrong" pain life is going to be really hard. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but there's simply no sense in sugarcoating it. You may become a bit of a hypochondriac, but your body and/or brain doing all sorts of weird new things is bound to have that effect on you. Eventually you'll learn what "normal" looks and feels like, and until then all of your "but this shouldn't be…what if…?"s are understandable.

 Now let's talk about something really evil that happens to the members of this club: the societal expectation that you will either die or permanently get better, and if you claim to be able to do x one day but not another day then you're malingering. This is total malarkey and we both know it, but it apparently seems to be a common attitude towards the disabled and chronically ill. You may have gotten it so much that you've internalized it; if that's the case, mentally take a step back and remind yourself that you are not faking, you are not just looking for attention, and that your energy and ability levels vary day by day and you simply have to work with that or suffer even worse consequences later. Read about spoon theory for more on the whole energy thing, and I have a few other compositions for you to read and share with your loved ones if you so choose.

Speaking of loved ones, now is the time to refine communication with them regarding your needs. If they're micromanaging you with "Should you really be eating that? Have you taken your meds today? No, you know you can't do that. You know you need to do this symptom-relief thing" type things, that's probably getting really annoying. Remember, their hearts are in the right place, and they may even be right about whatever they're saying. However, tone and expression matter; there's a world of difference between "I seem to recall the doctor saying that you shouldn't eat that" and "Don't eat that;" between "Have you taken your meds?" and "Consider this a reminder to take your meds if you haven't yet;" between "Do this to relieve your symptoms" and an implicit "we know x works for you" along with an explicit "Have you tried x to relieve your symptoms today?" Basically, the difference is command vs. suggestion. Most people respond much better to suggestions and relatively hands-off reminders than they do to commands and reminders that seem to come with the assumption that you're a forgetful idiot. It's a thin line and a hard one to walk, but eventually your loved ones should get the hang of it. (Also, if you really are going against doctors' orders, then perhaps you actually do need to listen to the annoying things your loved ones are saying!) As for all the "hey, I read this article about something resembling your condition; could you have the rare thing I just read about/could this new treatment I just read about help you" nuisances directed at you, they are actually expressions of love and concern; if they're really annoying then tell everyone to just buzz off, but your better bet is to smile, glance at the article or whatever to see if there really is something of value there, and if there isn't then just quietly recycle the article and dismiss the advice.

Anyway, that pretty much concludes your orientation; if you have any more questions feel free to ask someone in the chronic illness club or consider joining a support group for your specific condition, and good luck!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #79

“there’s a man standing on top of a hill, screaming freedom for some, but all others must kneel.”

how do you typically introduce yourself in online settings? name, age, location, and i'll usually mention my passions. what do you think will bring on the end of the world? nuclear war, global warming, black hole, etc. religious armageddon of some sort. i don't even remember how the bible mentioned the world would end. do you believe in the death penalty? in VERY FEW CASES, yes. some people are just pure villainous. have you ever done role play? i think my common viewers know i'm a meerkat forum rper, but i've never done, like, real life rp. too weird for me personally. have you ever/would you ever do anal? nope and nope. what’s more important- length or width? why? i don't really care? do you talk dirty during sex? moderately. what was your first orgasm like? never had one, but i got extremely close once while being fingered but panicked so we stopped. i didn't know what was going on lmao. do you own any hair extensions from hot topic? nope. 7-11, sheetz, wawa, or starbucks? sheetz. what do you want to name your kids? daughter will 100% be alessandra, boy will be vincent, luther, or victor. do you personally know any authors? i knew a poet once, but never an author. kissed someone within a day of having a bf/gf? no, holy fuck, slow down. have you ever kept it a secret from someone that you liked them? yeah. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker? i don't think so. is there anyone you would date on your facebook friend list? no. ever been swimming in a lake or river? lake, multiple times. first time you kissed the last person you kissed? 2012 have you ever broken someone’s heart? idk. ever had a near death experience? i guess so. i overdosed, but i wasn't heavily affected by it, honestly. i've also gotten in a mild wreck. when was the last time you held someone’s hand? some months ago when i was getting my cyst emptied; i was holding mom's. can you play guitar hero? expert, babe. who is someone you know that can play the piano well? no one. who is the best dancer you know? carmen, the older sister of my little sister's former friend. name a time you thought you were going to die? immediately after i overdosed. have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? very commonly. do you know your neighbors? nope. how do you feel about interracial couples? awesome. what restaurant do you think has the best french fries? i am honestly not certain! who’s your best guy friend? sam or girt, idk. do you like fruit roll ups? yep. what’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? hot and humid. UGH. do you have a kindle or ipad or neither? neither. growing up, did you see your cousins often? i didn't. they live many states away. around what time do you usually eat dinner? between 6-7:30 do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? i don't like carrots period. did you play with legos as a kid? nope. which bothers you more… spelling mistakes or bad grammar? bad grammar. is there a food that you love the taste of, but makes you feel sick? bananas are the prime example. love 'em, but i get heartburn that could kill a man. which did you discover first, myspace or facebook? myspace have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem? let me clarify something here: drinking/smoking does not "solve" the problem, nor do i believe it is capable of doing so. have i turned to drinking for some relief from a problem, sure. if you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? i want my lip repierced. what do you wish you had more knowledge about? politics. i don't understand a good 3/4 of it have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? divorce and parents fighting, yes. they fought so bad that just yelling became a trigger to me. do you drink more apple or orange juice? orange juice do you think relationships are hard? honestly, no. just think about it: if you truly love someone, what is so difficult about it? what is your favorite pop-tart flavor? oh my gaaaad the reeses ones. ever had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with your parents? nope. i learned in family life. do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!! would you ever get gauged ears? noooo. have you ever been in a school talent show? what for? i haven't, but my best friend sang in one!! have you ever dated someone you met online? nope. are you a competitive person? nope. do you believe in aliens? i do not. do you like dancing? not really anymore... it's draining. where are you from? north carolina how much more social are you when you’re drunk? VERY if you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? dakota is tomboyish, i like that... or georgia, sounds very pretty... what’s your favorite form of exercise? swimming do you like guacamole? NO EW do you consider yourself sexually open minded? sure? how do you feel about porn? it's fucking disgusting. who was your hottest ex? jason was hot, don't care what anyone says. do you want/have kids? i want them. has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? ohhhh, how funny! he's not around anymore! :D do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? nah. what’s your favorite flavor of iced tea? i hate tea. have you ever been to a casino? if so, which one(s)? none. do you love or hate olives? eh, neutral. have you ever visited a sex shop? nope. do you like the name cindy for a girl? nope. how many sets of keys do you have for your house? two. do you know anyone who has parkinson’s disease? don't think so. how many cousins do you have? what are their names? OH GOD TOO MANY. have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? i have not. do you use instagram? how often do you post there? i do not. what’s your favorite brand of beer? never tried beer. do you like writing? how often do you write? i love writing! i do it a few times a day. what’s your favorite place to get pizza? domino's! has there ever been a fire inside your house? tell me the story. not while we inhabited it. our old house, however, burned to a crisp inside due to its new residents putting a fucking box on the stove. it was a brick house though, so the exterior was fine and it was rebuilt on the interior. have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? no. how many piercings do you have? only four now... ugh. do you own any sports bras? where’d you get them from? i do not. what’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? no place all that expensive, honestly. who was the last person to tell you that you were beautiful/cute/good-looking? are you attracted to that person too? chelsea called me beautiful, and she absolutely is, too! has anyone ever called you stuck-up? no. when is the next birthday in your household and whose is it? nicole's is in april. what color are your father’s eyes? brown in winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie? hoodie have you ever voluntarily read the bible? i read some of it, yes. how much is gas where you live? like... $2.20 a gallon. do you have any gay friends? i do. do you like the state you live in? nope. who is your favorite person to watch on youtube? has to be a singular youtuber? then markiplier. how often would you say you take naps? once every few days. have you ever played bejeweled? that game was my mom's SHIT. it was all right. does your mom have a facebook? yes. have you ever been bitten by a rat? no. why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? being lazy. does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? no. did you get lucky on prom night? sex-wise, no, but in my own opinion, i got very lucky, because we made my favorite memory. have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? noooo. last song you had stuck in your head? "pity party" by melanie martinez has been stuck in my head for over 24 hours lmao kill me did you ever spill something and actually cry over it? i don't know of a specific occasion, but it's possible i have, especially if i was REALLY hungry or thirsty. do you think that everyone is capable of love? i sure do not. do you believe in astrology? nope. i don't waste my time with it. if you had to wear a hat for the rest of your life, what would it be? fedora. they sexy. would you rather have a musical alarm clock or a regular one? musical!! when you were little, what was your favorite game? the "spyro the dragon" trilogy was my life. do you prefer to wrap gifts or use gift bags? gift bags are more aesthetically pleasing, imho. do you own a trenchcoat? fam i wish. are you currently in a smoking environment? yes. chelsea is allowed to smoke here. if a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? usually, but i may feel a bit awkward. have you ever known a guy who caused a lot of drama? i sure do. have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? nope. what’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i'm not entirely certain how i feel about it. now if you're hunting and actually eat what you kill, that's 100% cool, it's survival. but killing just to kill? sounds... immoral. but then again, i'm a christian and understand animals were put on the earth for humans, so idk. have you ever gone in a sauna? oh fuck that. sounds like hell to me. out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? orange do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? not at all. has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? not to my knowledge. would you make any changes to your current bedroom? i, technically, do not have a bedroom atm bc we're in the process of moving. what animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? meerkats, totes. having them as pets is horrible for them, and i'm pretty sure it's illegal in the u.s., too. do you own many pairs of shorts? i have none. is there a certain song you like to head bang to? surprisingly, i don't headbang. hurts my head. who was or will be the maid of honor/best man in your wedding? colleen! :D what is your favorite lunch meat?  salami, probs. do you still have your tonsils? i do. red or pink? pink! do you have a special talent? lmaoooo where were you born? rocky mount, nc do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother?  no. what do you think the hardest part of surviving is?  just the pain of it. do you know anyone with a lazy eye? yep. can you remember your parents’ birthdays?  mom's, yes; dad's, no. what piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? lip. tongue is a close second, they sexy. what brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? splat, bc it actually works for my hair. are you any good at applying make up?  no, due to my tremor. are you currently wearing any hair accessories? which ones? i am not. do you like potato chips? bury me in a bag of lays pls gold or silver? gold is there an animal that creeps you out? WHALE SHARKS, slugs, certain spiders and bugs, etc... have you ever seen northern lights? i wish! do your parents smoke? dad does is your favorite animal endangered?  no how old is your best friend?  21 if there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? that shit's gotta get out, no. what color is your cell phone? black do you take vitamins daily?  no what’s one thing you hate about your best friend?  she's racist. be honest: do you illegally download music? yeah. welcome to 2k17. what’s the worst crime someone can commit? rape. you’re painting your room. what color do you choose? hm. i'd really have to see how my new room's going to look, but maybe like, a coffee-colored tan. what dog breed is the cutest ever? akita inus, eeeek! are cherries delicious? ew, no. have you ever experienced a tornado? thank the actual lord jesus christ no. how about a flood? yes. my brother went outside, slid down the slide on our playset, and fucking swam in it lmao do you or have you ever owned a pair of light up shoes? sure, as a kid. what is a current goal you’re trying to achieve? obtain a job. is there something that you thought you would’ve outgrown/gotten over by now, but haven’t? definitely forum meerkat role-play. i started that in middle school ffs dude. how often do you “draw a blank” mentally? A LOT. mainly when i'm talking, which is annoying. have you ever played the sims?   the animal ones, yes.  loved 'em. is your current hair color your natural hair color?   no, but you can see my roots now. can you run a mile in under 7 minutes?   HAHAHAHAHAHAHA do you have your license?   i do not.  i'm a nervous wreck when driving. have you ever sleep walked?   i have not. where was your first job?   gamestop do you remember your second grade teacher’s name?   mrs. whitley what do you like on your sundaes?   i like nothing "on" them have you been blessed with the ability to cook and/or bake?   nope... have you gained more than 5 lbs within the past year?   ... i gained over 100.  it's fucking embarrassing.  i just found out recently the weight gain was moreso a medication i was finally taken off of rather than eating habits, though. do you want kids at some point?   i do. are you lactose intolerant?   no. do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage?   it's a personal choice.  if you want to, go for it. what is your sexual orientation?   heterosexual have you ever bought clothing online?   yes, i prefer it. do you think shakespeare is difficult to read?   not really, no. do you play solitaire in the computer?   no, dunno how. have you ever received nude pictures from someone?   no. admit it: you had a neopets account.   damn right i did, neopets was/is rad. is there a pet in the room with you right now?   miracle and maxwell are currently playing, yes. how weight conscious are you?   VERY OMG is there anyone else with you right now?   bradley, colleen's husband, is currently watching tv in here w/ me. have you ever been accused of cheating?   nope. have you ever taken a train?   i have not. is being thin really all that great?   not necessarily "thin," but slim, sure.  you're more likely to be physically healthy. have you ever been to a night club?   i haven't. does any accent annoy you?   a veeeery thick southern accent doesn't "annoy" me, but it's aggravating 'cuz i can't understand you. what’s worse: crocs or uggs?   crocs are unholy. do you feel awkward when a stranger sits next to you?   yep. do you have any taylor swift songs on your ipod?   ... i confess to "picture to burn" and "should've said no" kill me pls do you want your tongue or belly button pierced?   tongue, yes.  a belly button ring wouldn't look good on me. do you hate it when people smoke around you?   YEAH what is your blood-type?   a.  don't remember if it's positive or negative tho. are you donating your organs?   yes. do you sleep on your side, stomach or back?   side, always. have you ever been a fan of ‘n sync?   i was a '90s baby.  you know it. do you know anyone that has/had cancer?   mom had kidney cancer. were you a big jump roper back in the day?   i was.  i got to where i could jump in. has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you?   yes.  not that i wanted that to happen. do you like chinese food?   a few things, sure.  just had some last night. do long distance relationships work?   of course.  not my first choice for me personally though. how do you like your eggs?   scrambled, cheesy. mcdonald’s or burger king?   mcd's.