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lebenspurpur · 3 years ago

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AN: Helloo, wrote this because I spent today suffering through my post-drunk-vandalism hangover. Guess it's deserved but still, it sucks. After eating chicken broth my dad made, unsalted if I may add, for an hour straight I am now ready to be creative. I really don't know what this is.

Have the link to my Larry playlist while we're at it:

Pairing: Larry Johnson x reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol

Wordcount: 1744 words

🤍🧷💀⛓🔪🏁🕷🤍🧷💀⛓🔪🏁🕷🤍🧷💀⛓🔪🏁🕷🤍🧷💀⛓

Larry looks really, really stupid right now. Stupid and sick.

His tall form slumped over in defeat, big blanket wrapped around him but not too tight, otherwise he'd feel too hot, too feverish, he still needs some air. There are tissues scattered across the couch as well. Fucking hell.

Usually, this would disgust you but it's Larry, you think you've seen worse.

Small sniffles come from where he's laying, whenever he clears his throat hoarse croaking leaves his mouth and he cringes every time he hears it. He can feel your judging gaze on his body, hear your arched eyebrow without even lifting his head.

His radio is blaring some kind of metal music, you don't recognize the band. Technically, the music is useless since the TV in front of Larry's bed is playing an old horror movie, bloody screams only adding to the grimy ambiance in the room.

"I-", you start but Larry lifts his hand before you can even consider continuing.

On any other occasion, you would've noticed the rings adorning his slender fingers, the metal accessories leaving a trail of dark smudge on his hands. Damn, did he have some nice hands.

Thankfully today wasn't a normal occasion. The metalhead in front of you had worse problems than you drooling over his fingers right now, one of them being the sickness he caught.

"Don't you dare say 'I told you so.'", he croaks out while he finally lifts his head, bloodshot eyes meeting yours. He looks immensely tired. You can sense his annoyance at this sickness, this hellish treatment he's in and can't seem to escape.

You take a deep breath in and drop your bag next to his opened front door.

"Alright. I won't."

You close the door quietly and deposit your jacket as well as boots next to it.

His mom always screams at Larry to finally get something for visitor's shoes and bags but he never does. Too busy, too lazy, he figures his visitors get it. Who even visits him, anyway?

The floor is, as usual, covered in stuff he hasn't cleaned yet. Unfinished drawings, sketchbooks, take-out cartons, empty booze bottles, you keep wondering how he manages to create that kind of mess in a timespan of not even two days.

You tiptoe over them, careful as to not to step into something. Earlier experiences have taught you to never mistake one of these seemingly empty cartons as really empty. Just last week you stepped into a fucking pizza the man in front of you didn't finish.

You sigh as you sit down next to him and Larry tiredly raises an eyebrow.

"Dude, I know you don't want to move but Jesus, we really need to get you to bed.", you then state, voice comforting yet firm. You use the moment to stare into his eyes, adore the brown, thick, deepness of them.

Larry groans loudly, voice breaking from how raw his throat is. His head falls back and he closes his eyes, a pained expression on his features.

"Don't wanna.", he grumbles quietly and you involuntarily crack a smile. Larry always managed to do that, even in the most unbelievable moments.

"I'll join you if you do."

One of his eyes slowly creaks open, observing your face to look for any kind of sarcasm or irony. As soon as he doesn't find any, the other eye opens as well and he leans forward again, blanket clutched tightly in his fists.

"Alright."

You grin at his quiet answer, hand reaching over to pull him with you. He obliges, warm, slightly clammy hand tightly grabbing yours. He follows you through the messy room, his blanket leaving a trail of destruction behind the two of you.

You kick open the door leading to his bedroom. Immediately, the familiar images of various album covers greet you. The air in his room is colder and less damp and you hear him take a deep breath.

Turning around, you mention for him to wait while you walk over, grabbing the blanket on his bed. You shake it a bit, readjust the sheets as well the pillow, all while Larry's eyes never leave your back.

"There you go, sweets.", you add as you finish, quickly turning around to see Larry standing the same way you've left him. Tired, slumped, and emotional. The need to hug him starts boiling inside of you but you try and hold yourself back. First, you have to make sure he gets into bed.

Larry slowly stumbles past you. During the last few baby steps, he drops the blanket around his shoulder, faceplanting right into the freshly made sheets. He's not even wearing a shirt and you huff at his stubbornness.

Larry's back looks strong like this, muscles contracting beneath his skin as he tries to get more comfortable. Your eyes glide over his spine, his wide shoulders, the small bumps where his ribs encase his organs. His olive skin is sweaty and long, brown hairs cling to it.

You cringe at that, knowing the feeling all too well.

Softly placing a hand on his back, you move closer, forehead scrunched together.

"Larry, darling."

He grunts into his pillow, a muffled questioning sound.

"I got a hair tie here. Mind lifting your head real quick?"

Larry obliges and lifts his head quickly, taking a deep breath while he does so.

Your fingers find his scalp and start collecting all the strands, securing them afterward with the tie around your wrist.

The man beneath you hums in appreciation as the cold air hits his neck, sweaty skin finally being able to breathe. You kiss the small space beneath his neck real quick, a short sign of comfort before you stand up again, hands leaving his skin.

Larry whines the second you do so, all while quickly turning around, sending you a pleading look.

"You said you'd stay.", the whiny tone only makes his voice sound more hoarse and you can't help the small grin from appearing on your features.

"In a second, sweetie. You need some water and medicine first, alright?"

He whines again but the thought of something fresh and cold going down his throat is enough to soften the pleading look in his eye. You blow him a kiss and then quickly walk into the kitchen, which is right across from the brunette's room.

It's surprisingly clean but what did you expect? Larry never uses his kitchen unless he has to. Which isn't all too often.

Grabbing a water bottle and placing it on the counter, you keep searching for the small broth packets you'd bought exactly for this kind of scenario. You find them in the fridge, the only thing in this room that Larry actually uses.

Chuckling you get some water cooking, all while pouring the powder into one of the giant cups Sal has gifted Larry a while ago. According to the masked man, everything tastes better if it's being eaten out of a cup and so, everyone has their own sets of cups, a premium gift from Sal Fisher.

Soon, everything's done and you maneuver your way back into Larry's room. Said man is awaiting you, eyes still opened as he watches you creep towards his bed, hands full with water, soup, and medicine.

First, you feed him the medicine. Normally he'd do this himself but you know that he'll just ignore the bitter juice unless you force it down his throat. Stubborn motherfucker.

Larry's sitting up now, back propped up against one of the many big pillows he has. You hand him the broth and he inhales it in less than two minutes, apparently, this is the first thing he's eaten today. Shaking your head at the thought, you tug a few strands of hair out of his face, smiling at your lover's appetite.

Finally, after gulping down half of the water bottle, the brunette leans back and smiles, for the first time this evening.

"Thank you.", he croaks out and you touch his arm as an appreciative gesture, "Does that mean you're allowed to join me now?"

You're about to nod as you notice the faint traces of eyeliner on his skin.

"Did you take off your makeup when you got home?", you ask, throwing a teasing smile his way.

Larry clears his throat, embarrassed that you caught him. A faint blush raises on his cheeks and you feel your heart swell at the sight.

"I might have forgotten about it.", he answers, gaze slowly meeting yours again, "But please, let's just do this later, dude. I am so fucking tired."

Huffing, you roll your eyes at his answer but you nod anyway. He'd be fine with the makeup for a few more hours. You just have to remember taking it off tomorrow.

"You're lucky I love you."

Larry grins at that, the usual wide, blinding grin, that makes your stomach tingle with fuzzy feelings inside of it. His fingers find your arm and he tenderly pulls you down to join him. Soon, your head is placed on his chest, and his arms cradle your shoulders, pulling you into his body.

You can hear his relaxed breathing as he finally settles down, nuzzling his face into your hair.

His skin is warm against your cheek and you smile into it. It doesn't matter how often you've done it, laying on his nude chest always makes you flustered.

Larry's fingers start to draw stuff on your back, the feeling more than a delight for you. Humming, you snuggle closer and the metalhead next to you smiles.

His eyes already start to close slowly, lack of sleep finally catching up to him. The quiet sound of the ongoing movie in his living room, as well as the metal music, make for a great background sound and you both listen intently.

You notice the way his heart beats, slow and steady, beneath the tanned skin. Unknowingly, you start to synchronize your breaths with his. In and out. In. And out.

Soon, your eyes close as well. Damn it, you don't want to fall asleep. Though, you suppose it doesn't matter as the man next to you pulls you closer, his breath warm against your ear. He wouldn't let you leave anyway.

The thought makes you feel giddy, excited, in love. Smiling widely, you try to press yourself closer into him, and soon, you too, fall asleep, enveloped by the arms of the boy you love most. Your favorite boy.

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some-cookie-crumbz · 5 years ago

Note

If it isn't too much to ask for a fic request, "Wanna bet?"/"Please stay here"/"This is the stupidest plan you ever had, of course I'm in" as possible sentence prompts with Kamijirou? Either of them is fine. Sorry if it is a bothersome request, and thank you in advance even for reading this :)

How about I go one step further and do all three??? Because I have no self-control and I had ideas for all three of these!

And please don’t ever think making a request is bothersome to me! I love when people request fics from me! x3

Each fic will have a little bream between them to indicate when I switched prompts, as well.

"Wanna bet?" he growled lowly, slapping a hand down on the table in an uncharacteristic display of aggression. If this wasn't the same guy she'd seen electrocute himself down to the IQ of a potato on multiple occasions, she might have been intimidated.

Key word being 'might'.

As it stood, though, she merely smirked and nudged the small dish of stemmed cherries closer to him. "If you're ready to piss away money, sure thing," she goaded, cocking her head to the side.

"How much we talkin'?" he asked suspiciously.

"If you can actually do the whole bowl, I'll fork up 4,000 yen. If you can't, then you pay up 4,000. Sound fair?" she suggested. He regarded her for a second before nodding and pulling the bowl closer to himself.

It was at that moment, as if sensing something was going on, a familiar face peered around the corner to stare at them. "Kaminari, Jirou, what's up?" he asked, a grin turning up on his lips.

"Not now, Sero. There's a matter of pride on the line!" Kaminari snapped, holding one hand up as he picked a cherry from the bowl and ate it.

Sero's brow furrowed as he looked from her to the other boy. "Kaminari claims he's a phenomenal kisser. I call bull. And so, to prove his merit, he has to tie the stems on all the cherries in that bowl into knots," she explained with a shrug, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sero blinked then burst out laughing. "Oh, what? Hold up, don't start! We gotta get the others involved in this!" he said excitedly while fishing out his phone. Jirou gave him an exasperated look before rolling her eyes and slumping back in her seat.

In a matter of ten minutes, the entirety of class 1-A was clamored in the commons room adjacent the dining area. Uraraka was poised on Midoriya's shoulders, the two sporting matching bookie visors, with her calling out bets and him carrying a large cardboard box for the others to dump their wagers into. Part of Jirou wondered why the brunette wasn't using her own Quirk to just float above the others and take their bets, but she wasn't curious enough to actually bother with asking. Yaomomo was walking with the pair, a clipboard in hand as she took down the wagers from the other students. Everyone was making such a fuss - like usual - but a small part of her couldn't help but be curious to see how it would all go down.

Across from her, Kirishima and Sero were giving a "pep talk" of sorts to Kaminari. The red-headed student was rubbing his shoulders as if he was about to step into a boxing ring or something. "You got this, dude," he whispered softly.

Sero was kneeling close, one hand on the table. "Just remember who you are, bro. You're freakin' Chargebolt! Those cherries can't take you down! No one can take you down!"

Iida cleared his throat loudly as he set a new bowl of cherries as well as a second empty bowl in front of the blonde male. "Has everybody had sufficient time to make their wagers and prepare for the test?" he called out.

"Yup!" Uraraka called back happily, swiping the collection from Midoriya and jingling it in the air proudly.

He nodded. "Very good! Yaoyorozu, what is the final ranking total and common bets?" he asked as the other student president came to his side.

She cleared her throat politely. "The total amount I counted being wagered came out to a total of 32,127 yen, give or take some coin pieces Of the 20 betters, the two polar opposites are, obviously, Kaminari and Jirou themselves; Kaminari set that he can tie all the stems, and Jirou wagering that he cannot. Of the remaining 18 betters, 11 believe that Kaminari will be unable to successfully knot less than 25, and the remaining seven wager he will succeed with only between 25 and 50," she explained.

Kamimari gawked at them for a moment. "Wait, what? None of you think I can actually do this?" he wailed, whipping around to cast a scandalized look at the now sheepish duo that had been encouraging him just seconds before.

Jirou giggles to herself. "Oh, wow, even your boys don't have your back. That's gotta sting," she whistled lowly.

"Whatever. I'm not going to lose, so I guess I'll just be taking home a fat stack of cash tonight," he huffed.

Iida nodded before addressing everyone again. "Excellent! Uraraka, Midoriya, I trust the two of you with counting the funds to assure the amount Yaoyorozu calculated is accounted for before we name the winner!" he instructed, receiving a small salute from the pair. "Now, the rules are simple! Kaminari shall eat a total of fifty cherries and then must tie their remaining stems into a knot. Upon completion of tying, he must hold the stem up for ua to verify that the knot is, in fact, tied. All knots that are properly tied shall be placed in the empty bowl and added to the tally. Whoever bet the closest to the amount he manages to tie, wins the total amount in the box. For Kaminari and Jirou themselves, the winner receives bragging rights for being correct. Are the rules understood?" he asked, looking between the pair curiously. Upon getting a nod from both, he brought his hand down. "Begin!"

Jirou felt smugly satisfied in her success as she watched him toss the first stem into his mouth, expression shifting drastically with his attempts, then she closed her eyes to await his inevitable surrender. There was just no way that Kaminari Denki, of all guys, had any kind of kiss game. This was the wholesome class pervert, the guy known for sparking off too many watts and leaving himself a total space case. There was just no way he could do something like-!

"One stem tied!" Yaomomo suddenly declared, causing her eyes to snap open, gawking in disbelief.

But there, sporting a smug grin and a perfectly tied cherry stem between two fingers, Kaminari sat. He held her gaze as he dropped the first one into the bowl, gleaming gold clashing with darkened violet. "Beginner's luck," she grit out.

"We'll see about that," he quipped back, still grinning, as he plucked up the next one.

It took a full hour of time, but by the time it was over, Jirou was left speechless.

“And the winner is… Kaminari!” Iida said, a bit of his surprise betraying him from the slight question in his tone as the other dropped the last little stem into the bowl.

“Aw, yeah! Our man!” Sero laughed, reaching to clap him on the back.

Instead, the other whipped around and pointed at him accusingly. “Liar! You didn’t think I could get even close to doing all fifty!” he barked.

Sero held his hands up and looked away sheepishly. “Aw, man, come on!”

“No, you come on!”

Jirou shook her head as she pushed up out of her seat. “Okay, okay. I’ll admit that I was wrong. Good job, Kaminari; you earned the money,” she said, walking over to offer him her hand. He blinked in surprise as he turned to face her before slowly taking her hand and shaking her.

Midoriya approached and offered the box, Uraraka still poised on his shoulders. “Here you go, Kaminari-Kun! We made sure all the money was in there and accounted for,” he said happily.

“Well, except for the security deposit fees. I kept that, for convenience sake,” Uraraka said, waving one hand evenly.

The green haired man sighed heavily and glanced up at her, clearly exhausted. “Uraraka-Chan,” he drawled out warningly.

“Deku-Kun, come on! It was just the loose coins! I let him keep all the actual, important paper stuff!” she whined in response. When he only continued to stare up at her like a scolding parent, she grumbled and rummaged into her pockets, leaning over to drop the coins back into the little slit in the box.

Todoroki appeared behind them, clearing his throat. “If we’re done here, can we get back to studying? Midoriya, I still needed you assistance regarding the timeline for the History of Heroics class,” he said evenly. She could see the others already starting to file back out of the room,some heading to the elevators and others heading for the front door.

“Oh, sure thing, Todoroki-Kun! Congrats again, Kaminari-Kun!” he chuckled, waving with one hand before walking off again. As he did, Uraraka remained where she was and Iida joined the other three on their trek back to the elevators. She was never going to understand those four, she thought with another shake of her head, before perking up and looking around. Just as quickly as they’d all crashed the place, they were gone.

“Geez, not even gonna offer to help us clean up?” she mumbled sarcastically, moving to grab the bowls from the table. She paused when a few yen bills were held out towards her, Kaminari watching her with a surprising serious expression. She looked from his face to the money and then back again. “Kaminari?”

“Here, you can keep the money you put in,” he said, waving it a bit. “I’m not gonna give the others there’s back, out of principle now, but… It was always just about proving that I wasn’t lying with you. If the others hadn’t showed up, I wouldn’t have taken the money anyway.”

“So your ego is worth more than 4,000 yen, huh?” she teased, taking the money back regardless. “Well, thank you. And, just so you know, this didn’t really prove anything about kissing. Just that you can tie cherry stems with your mouth.”

He stared at her in disbelief before setting the box aside. “Well, do I have to show you, then?” he prompted.

She jumped, cheeks smudging with pink immediately. “W-What?” she squeaked.

“Show you that I can kiss? Should I do that to prove my point?” he asked, reaching out to cup the side of her face with one hand. She could feel her heart skip at the action and she closed her eyes tight, holding her breath in preparation. She felt a small puff of his breath against the cheek he wasn’t holding, the smell of cherries filling her senses, and then the soft, warm brush of lips…

Against her cheek.

Her eyes snapped open as he pulled back, hand still resting on her cheek. “W-What?” she breathed out shakily.

“I’m not gonna kiss a girl on the lips without her permission. That’s just gross and rude,” he said gently, starting to pull his hand away.

They both froze when his hand was pulled back. They both glanced down to see one of her earlobes had wrapped around his wrist, like a sneaky little serpent. She quickly looked back up at him. “W-Well, how about this, then? You just won a pretty nice chunk of change from the others, so why don’t we… Do something. Just you and I. And I can decide after that if I want to test your supposed skills for myself?” she suggested, forcing her voice to keep from wavering too much, trying to thrust as much of her usual aloof confidence into her words as possible.

His eyes lit up as bright as a shooting star and he grinned, wide and sincere and dazzling, before nodding enthusiastically. “It’s a date!”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Please stay here,” For a moment he wasn’t sure he actually heard anything, until there was a small tug at the back of his shirt. Her voice was a bit muffled by the decorative pillow her face was partially burrowed into, but when he peered over his shoulder he could see one eye half-lidded and fixed on him, gleaming like a precious stone. In that one visible eye, though, he could see the vulnerability she was laying bear for him. “Denki, please.”

He flushed a little bit at her using his first name, carefully closing his laptop. “Are you sure? It’s kinda risky, you know,” he mumbled worriedly, carefully adjusting his bum leg stretched out in front of him.

It had been a hectic couple of weeks for the students of UA, though that wasn’t really new. What was new was who, exactly, got involved in the whole rigamaroo.

Normally if something happened, there were a few select students that could be pointed to as the main culprits; Midoriya, Todoroki, Bakugo and Kirishima were the five most frequent offenders and the “frequent fuck-up fliers”, according to Aizawa-Sensei. That had been how their experiences started and even now, during their senior year, that hadn’t really changed much. Nine times out of ten, if something was happening that involved villains, breaking school rules, being exceptionally reckless or all of the above, at least one of them - Midoriya - had a hand in it. The big spectacle this time had involved rumblings of a human trafficking ring being set up somewhere downtown. And, as expected, Midoriya led the charge to take the place down, but his normal squad weren’t the other players this round. No, this time around, Kaminari had been adamant about going along to help and gotten repaid handsomely for his insistence to do the right thing.

Specifically in that he’d nearly gotten himself killed while protecting hostages as they escaped.

The damage had been amongst some of the worst he’d ever suffered in his time at UA; four full days unconscious as a side effect of a concussion, black eye, cracked rib and his left ankle got busted. When he’d come to in the hospital, he’d felt terrible from both the injuries and how his family had panicked over him. Once they had parted for the day and his classmates came in, there’d been a bit of teasing about him “pulling a Midoriya” from Sero and Kirishima, but he’d noticed how Jirou had hovered in the back of the room, posture guarded and usual playful demeanor completely gone. When the others left, she had lingered a little bit, sitting in silence but clutching his hand as if she’d drown without it. The whole experience reminded him why he didn’t normally pull stunts like the ones Midoriya did.

He had no idea how the other boy could handle the guilt from worrying others and the pain of the injuries like he did.

But that brought him back to the present, with her clutching the back of his shirt and studying him quietly, seemingly pondering over his question. They’d been dating for a little over a year but they hadn’t told their classmates. Part of it was because they were going lowkey about their relationship so as to avoid complicating things with their work study and school assignments. The other reason was because, for as much as they loved Mina, she was incredibly nosy. They’d watched how she had chased after Yaomomo when word got back that she had gone to coffee non-platonically with Kendou from class 3-B, frantic to get the latest in relationship tea. Or how, when it became public knowledge that Bakugo and Kirishima were a thing, she’d hounded them with so many invasive questions she’d left the explosive blonde as a flustered mess that could barely garble out a threat.

If they got caught together, there was the risk of Aizawa finding out, sure, but the scarier threat was Mina Ashido.

“Let’s risk it then. I want you to stay,” she said after a pregnant, thoughtful pause.

He took in a breath and nodded, moving to stand up carefully. “Okay. Let me just get changed and brush my teeth and stuff, okay? But I promise I’ll be right back, fast as can be,” he said, holding one hand up while tucking the laptop under his other arm.

She let out a small hum, pushing herself upright to presumably do the same while he was gone. He hobbled his way to the elevator, making sure to be careful of how much pressure he put down on his left. It was mostly healed at this point, so the doctor’s had cleared him to return to light duty with the instruction to keep it wrapped so he could walk. He plugged his laptop into the charger, made quick work of changing into his sleep clothes, grabbed his pillows and then went to brush his teeth. He brushed them twice, just to be safe.

When he returned to her room, he gave a little knock instead of just letting himself in. She opened the door and ushered him in quietly. “Do you still need to keep your foot elevated?” she asked, pointing at his pillows.

“Um, no, they’re for me to sleep with. I figured I’d take the floor,” he said, clearly confused.

She blinked before giggling and shaking her hair, running her fingers through her hair. She had started to let it grow out a little bit, so that it just grazed her shoulder blades. While he’s always thought she looked great with the shorter, framed bang style, he had to admit there was also an appeal to the slightly longer style, too. “You’re not… We can just share my bed. I mean, just sleep in the bed together,” she said, walking over to take his pillows and tossing them on the bed.

He tensed slightly. “Are… Are you sure?” he asked, holding his hands up.

She nodded, walking over to wrap her arms around his waist and rested her head against the upper half of his chest. Even though they were older, she hadn’t gotten as much of a height jump as she’d hoped. The top of her head still just barely reached his chin, but he kind of liked it. He gently wrapped his arms around her in turn, tilting his head down to gently kiss the top of her head. “I just… I need to know you’re here,” she breathed quietly, her voice catching slightly. His eyes widened for a moment before he tightened his grip on her a bit more.

“Let’s get some rest then,” he muttered softly. How could he tell her ‘no’, when he wanted that same comfort just as badly?

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“This is the stupidest plan you’ve ever had,” she said with an inhale, lips twisting into a huge grin, “so of course I’m in.”

His grin turned wide as he pulled the walkie-talkie in his hand back up to his mouth. “Exploding Eagle, this is Pika-Dude, over. Sinister Siren is on board. I repeat; Sinister Siren is on board,” he said over the line, his voice dead serious despite the smirk on his lips.

“You had a code name picked out for me already?” she asked with a quirked brow and small grin.

He pressed a hand to his chest and nodded. “But of course! I had a hunch you’d want in on this, once you found out about it,” he mused.

There was static on the walkie for a moment, before an familiar shout of “Just tell me what the fuck you’re going on about normally, you extra fuck!”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. God, Bakugo just had to zap all of the fun out of everything, didn’t he? “Jirou’s on board. I’ll bring her with me to the meet-up spot; be there in ten,”

“Don’t tell me what the fuck to do!”

“See you guys in a bit!” Kirishima’s voice chimed in next, as chipper and giddy as ever.

UA was going to be hosting a huge event for the Hero Commision, and had decided to offer live entertainment. In hopes of buttering the commision up after the many scandals they’d been involved in over the last year - as well as to save on money for a real, professional band - they had decided to allow the students to try out for the role of entertainment for the night. By all technicality, the band Jirou had put together with herself, Kaminari, Tokoyami and Yaomomo should have been the ones to take the crown, but then Monoma from 1-B had to go and mess things up.

They hadn’t caught him in the act, but they had gleaned from his goading later that he’d rigged the results so that a band of 1-B students got selected instead. And, not to be outdone through dishonest means, he and Bakugo had started plotting. Kirishima was eager to jump in to help, but they had yet to approach Yaomomo and Tokoyami. They had the distinct feeling that the duo wouldn’t be keen on playing to get even.

He had known, however, that Jirou would see the practicality in some practical jokes. If the class 1-B students wanted to play dirty, then so would they.

As they slipped out the front door, she looked at him curiously. “Aren’t you worried about what Aizawa-Sensei will say if we get caught?” she pointed out.

“If I worried about what Aizawa-Sensei would do if he found out about half of the things I’ve done, I wouldn’t live,” he laughed. A small part of him was still impressed that their teacher hadn’t found out about the Beast Man incident, but he also wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “And don’t worry; if he finds out, I’ll take the heat for it. I’ll make sure you live, so you can fight another day.”

She snorted and gently bopped his hip with hers as they walked. “Such a noble sacrifice from a valiant hero,” she teased.

“I try,” he grinned, rubbing the back of his neck meekly.

#crumbles grumbles #KamiJirou #my fics #Kaminari would be an extremely good boi who is mindful of boundaries #He is a perv but he is respectful about it #I also accidentally wrote him as kinda smooth??#Whoops

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lilcutieana · 6 years ago

Text

Stranded (Fluff/angst)

Words: 5K Genre: Survival/slice of life Rating: PG Summary: BTS-- the most sought-after artists, are offered a chance of holidaying at the white beaches of Malaysia after their constant schedules, but, somehow the holiday isn't as wonderful as they’d hoped.

One Shot Masterlist || Series Masterlist

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

Yoongi and Jin collapsed onto the couch soon followed by the rest of the team. As the last person, Hoseok, had nowhere else to sit, he chose to sit half on Yoongi and half on Taehyung's lap with a thump.

Jimin watched unamused from the corner of the couch and rolled his eyes at their antics. He guesses he should be used by their antics by now. But was he? Not at all. He loved his members --- a lot, but sometimes when he was as exhausted as he is now-- he got irritated a lot more than he usually did. Sighing, he waited for their manager to come.

After the last concert, which was tonight at Japan, they were asked to come straight to the meeting room. But now that they were here-- the room was still empty, except the six other rowdy boys. His family.

His thoughts were interrupted by a series of knocks on the door followed by their manager who looked like a cat that just had a bowl of cream. Clearing his throat, he looked at the boys individually and clapped his hands for their undivided attention.

"In the break between concerts which end today and award shows in December-- we've decided to use the month-long break for a vacation in Malaysia." He declared and waited for the excited reactions from the boys.

Jimin's eyes met Taehyung's across the room and they both sighed. Looking forward, Namjoon asked the question Jimin knew everyone was curious about. "The vacation is just more work, isn't it?"

"Yes. First two weeks we will be shooting for the seasonal greetings" he started and watched as the boys slumped in their seats further and smirked. "But the last two weeks you get to spend any way you wish for. Without the camera crew following you around."

At that, Jimin was happy and smiled so hard, His eyes disappeared behind his cheeks and he could barely see anything. Despite that, he knew they reciprocated similar smiles with eyes that sparkled in happiness.

“But what about practicing hard for award shows?” Hoseok piped up from his seat at Yoongi’s lap. He knew they won’t be completely off the hook. Not for so long anyway.

“That, boys, is upto you. The sooner you perfect your routines we set for you, the sooner you get to really enjoy your vacation.”

Groaning aloud, the boys got up stretching their tired limbs. It was time to pack and set up schedules for each member to prepare a routine and come up with ideas for the performance of the year--- in four different award shows back to back, no less.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Jimin awoke strapped in a plane between Jin and Jungkook. For a moment, he forgot how and when he made it in there and looked around cautiously. Staring at the movie that was playing idly in front of him, he remembered how hours prior he and the rest of the members were rushed to pack up within two hours for their vacation in Malaysia.

However, there was a trick. The members were divided into groups-- who traveled in different planes and made separate vlogs until they reached their destination and explored the cities for the first two days.

He was glad to have his hyung and his dongsaeng together. They got along splendidly. But now that the rest of the members were separated, he felt like a part of him was missing.

Shrugging he stared at the screen playing some English movie with Hangul subtitles in front of him. Might as well watch some movie while he could. Unbuckling himself, he slouched in his chair and tried enjoying what appeared to be some kind of gangster movie.

He didn't realize when he drifted off to sleep again, but he awoke to the plane shaking more than it should. The two managers, three cameramen and one stylist-- who sat in the rows behind them were panicking and shoving a life jacket onto him instead of a parachute.

"What's going on?" He asked concerned.

"One of the engines caught on fire. We are flying over an ocean, these are just in case." The stylist explained, eyes flinging wildly side to side, checking all of their crew were safe and protected.

Jimin himself became too worried. What if we crash? What if the fire spreads? He shared the same panicked look with Jungkook and Jin on both his side's donning the same neon orange life jacket.

An air hostess dressed immaculately in red and white came forward with a Mic held in her shaky hands that trembled like the autumn leaf and made an announcement.

"We have to make an emergency landing. There is an island about 5 kilometers from here." Gulping in air, she averted her eyes to calm her quivering voice. Holding the Mic closer to her lips, she spoke in a softer tone, “You are all safe, please stay calm and remember to pull the string on the left side of your jacket for it to inflate and help you float in water. Thank you." She left the aisle just as fast she had come through the azure curtains in a flurry of hurried steps.

Maybe she was going to announce to the rest of the passengers or perhaps she wanted to secure her own safety first.

Whatever the case, Jimin knew if it was an emergency landing, it won't be a good one and there was nothing--- absolutely nothing to be calm about.

If Jimin was scared before, he was terrified now. Opening his phone case, he recovered a tiny knife which despite its size was sharp enough to slice through the glass and looped it inside his necklace.

Opening the pack with towels and other necessities, he dumped his phone and the survival booklet inside. Sealing the ziplock back, he folded it in half and then leaned to his right towards Jungkook and picked his bag.

"What are you...?” Jungkook began, looking at Jimin flustered, clearly on the verge of tears and promptly shut up, letting him do as he, please. If that helped him calm down, he'd let his hyung get away with it.

He watched as Jimin picked apart the contents of his bag one after the other and deposited at a very disturbed yet amused Jin. One after the other, various articles of clothing, gaming consoles, music cd’s and cosmetics came out tumbling of which none held Jimin's stamp of approval.

Just what was the lad looking for?

Finally, stacked securely underneath his ball of underwear, wrapped securely in bubble wrap was the first aid kit. Being as curious and thrill-seeking as he was, he had to keep the kit with him at all times-- from sprains, cuts, burns to even diarrhea-- he needed them all.

With the kit in hand, Jimin sighed in relief, his body slumping in his seat and the tears that had been building up now flowed freely down his cheeks.

Panicked, Jin cradled the younger boy in his arms and pat his back, looking curiously at their youngest for clues as to what got him so worked up. Before either of them could speak, a loud pop filtered through the windows and the plane tilted on its right, throwing both Jimin and Jungkook onto Seokjin's lap, crushing the man and his precious face.

“Is this what I get for being kind, you brats?” Jin whisper-shouted from underneath Jimin who straightened up right after Jungkook did, with an accidental elbow to the thighs, making the elder wince in pain and pinch Jimin’s arm in retaliation.

Various shrieks and curses formed a cacophony that assaulted their ears and Jimin wasted no time shoving the ziplock bag and Jungkook's first aid kit into the gap between his stomach and the life jacket. He had to be prepared for the worst, just in case.

The plane tilted again, throwing them against the window on Jungkook's side, squashing his arm in the process and he cursed at his bandmates for not wearing the seatbelt like they were asked to earning himself a soft blow to the stomach for not wearing one himself in the first place. That shut his insolent self promptly.

The air hostess came into their aisle running with a Panicked look in her eyes, hands frantically gesturing around. "We need to evacuate, please hurry. All four of our engines are malfunctioning."

And then, it was utter chaos with people trying to remove seatbelts, flinging bags, rushing to open the overhead compartment and it was absolute mayhem. Jimin clutched onto Jungkook and Seokjin's hand tightly, praying that they landed safely somehow, yet knew it was nearly impossible in an aircraft that seated about a hundred people.

“How are we gonna evacuate?” Jin asked wide-eyed.

“I don’t know” Jungkook replied back equally as panicked.

He wasn't the first priority and he should never expect that either. Yet he didn't want to die like this. He could feel his breath stutter as black spots filled his vision. He didn't want to die like this.

A strong blow to the stomach and his heart dropped to his feet as the plane jerked and tilted forward. He was sure they were falling at full speed, the windows confirmed as the clouds rushed past and the blue of the ocean came closer.

“Guys, we are next to an emergency window,” Jungkook whispered conspiratorially. “We just need to open it and jump out, then swim the little distance to the island before we drown.”

“You aren’t helping here” Jimin whisper-shouted at him and glared at full intensity. If he could stitch the maknae’s mouth with his gaze, he totally would.

Just then he felt something hit the back of his head and he felt dizzy. The black spots in his eyes started to fill his vision and then there was nothing.

Jungkook watched as a suitcase fell atop Jimin’s head and bounced back into the ground making his pupils shrink as he swayed on his seat. He knew from the past four years, what exactly that meant and encircled his arms around Jimin to hold him close to his body as his head lolled to the side and flopped on Jungkook’s shoulders.

He had seen him collapse hundreds of times in the past year out of exhaustion or starvation and by now, it had become a habit to hover around Jimin in order to catch him before he fell, paying close attention to his eyes and forehead, for signs of sickness.

But this time, it was the suitcase that caused him to blackout. The same suitcase and many others that were being dragged to the back of the plane as it made a plunge straight into the ocean. Seokjin beside him was panicking now more than Jimin had before, and Jungkook wasn't sure what to do anymore, that is, until an oxygen mask fell from the compartment above.

Looking Jin in the eye, he gestured for him to use one for himself and another for Jimin. But instead of stretching to get the mask lower, in bent down and started removing his socks.

"Hyung, what are you even doing?" Jungkook asked baffled.

"We can't swim with shoes on, you brat!" He snapped at him and started removing Jimin's shoes too, along with their socks. Nodding his head, Jungkook tied his converses off and flicked them with his toes towards Jin who packed them into his bag.

The many pillows, blankets, bags and even the food cart came flying down towards them and straight into the pilot's cabin ahead. Before they could even react, the plane jerked backward as it hit the surface of the ocean, slowly sinking down.

The plane had gone quiet, eerily so. Looking behind themselves, Jin and Jungkook were shocked to see most of the passengers bleeding or passed out.

"Hyung, we need to hurry, we can't save people now."

"But.."

"No, Hyung, look!" Jungkook pointed at the floor below that was slowly filling up with water trickling from the cabin before them.

Something must have broken or cracked and water was progressively filling up the craft.

"We have to hurry" Seokjin whispered in shock, his body unresponsive.

Jungkook tried shaking Jimin, but he wasn't waking up. Closing his eyes, he murmured an apology to his hyung and lifted his feet to Jimin’s nose that twitched with the putrid smell it had garnered after being in the plane for over eight hours.

Jimin's nose twitched and he scrunched it up, sneezing immediately and Jungkook lowered his feet, satisfied with a job well done. Some movies really were helpful, he surmised as Jimin awoke with a gasp and looked around wildly.

"It wasn't a dream" Jimin whispered as he saw the many people clustered in the back injured and passed out. Even their crew...

The water had reached their waist and Jin was trying hard to open the window beside him but the water pressure was too much and it had jammed. The window outside was completely dark, nothing could be seen and Jimin figured they must be too deep.

"Where is all this water coming from?" He asked Jin, hoping he'd know but his hopes were shattered at Jin turned to flower at him. Guess not. Jumping down from his seat, he waddled through space, determined to find the leakage. They were placed right behind the pilots and he had a feeling that was where something had clearly gone wrong.

Before he could step past his seat, the door four seats in front of him burst open, and water gushed inside like a broken dam, rushing at full speed and drowning everything at sight, including them.

It hurt. The water hurt. It was too salty and stung his throat and eyes. Jimin didn't know how to swim, yet, he dragged their bags and made them wear it as Jungkook pulled him along. He wanted to save more people. He really did but knew it was his life against theirs and he just couldn't risk it.

Pulling on the oxygen masks, they each inhaled a mouthful and with Jimin in the center, the pulled him out of the plane as it laid on a cliff deep in the ocean. It was too dark outside and nothing was visible, except the faint blue light from above indicating it was still daytime.

Yanking on the strings of the life jackets they had donned, all three of them slowly floated above causing the pressure on their chest to decrease. Breaking the surface, they breathed out and looked at each other in the eye, scanning for damages and ensuring it wasn't a shared dream.

"You okay?" Three voices parroted together and laughed at the irony. A small relief in the cruel reality that had yet to sink in.

"We have to swim, there's an island nearby." Jungkook reminded in a grim tone. He was tired and still not over the recent events. His lungs hurt and so did his ears.

"Which way? All I see is water, everywhere" Jimin frowned, anxious and guilt was eating at him. He could have saved more people. He should have saved more people. He didn't deserve to live. Not like this.

"Hey! Hyung! Look at me." Jungkook demanded, shaking Jimin by the shoulders. He had an inkling of a feeling what the elder was going through. He felt the same way.

"It was us or them. They weren't even awake enough to be saved. We didn't have enough time."

"I know." Jimin breathed out, "I know" he repeated, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Do you hear that?" Jin exclaimed from their right, breaking the moment the other two shared.

"Hear what, hyung?" Jimin asked, annoyed. Hoping it wasn't one of his many jokes. It just wasn't the time or place.

"The seagulls!" Jungkook exclaimed.

And sure enough, there were the seagulls circling around a few feet away and squinting his eyes, Jimin saw something green swaying in the distance.

"It's the island!" He cheered and hugged Jin to himself. With a new rush of adrenaline, he tried swimming only to just paddle himself a couple of inches.

Giggling to himself, Jungkook watched amused as Jimin struggled with swimming forward. Smirking to himself, he just held onto both of Jimin's hands and guided them around his neck as if Jimin were piggybacking him and started swimming forward like a graceful dolphin.

"Show off" Jin muttered from beside them, rolling his eyes. “if you get tired, I can carry Jiminnie"

Glancing to his side, Jungkook nodded in confirmation and sped up his side strokes to reach the island faster. His bag was weighing him down, but he knew the faster he could reach that island, the faster he could finally rest.

"You guys can depend on me", Jin said suddenly, "I've survived in the jungle before."

Yes, Jungkook surmised, he did indeed live in a jungle, with a whole crew and teammates who knew when to shoot and when to give up. Unlike now, where they neither had a choice nor a rescue team. He wondered how long they'd survive. What if the island had cannibals? Or worse, dinosaurs? Or even a live volcano?

Shaking his head to rid of depressing thoughts, he tried believing that they'd make it there somehow until a rescue team did come looking for them. Someone had to. Surely, since they were national-- not to mention, international treasures.

"I'm sorry, I must be too heavy jungkookie" Jimin whispered by his ear, his voice hoarse and somber.

"Its okay hyung, I'm strong enough" he replied with a smile and hoisting Jimin up, he swam with a new vigor.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Jin blinked his eyes open to the scorching sun beating down on him, being filtered through the coconut trees above, as the other two clung onto his torso from either sides. His throat was parched and his body hurt from exhaustion. Sitting up, he winced holding onto his neck that hurt with every movement.

Perspiration dripped from his nose and he scrunched it up as he felt the sand stick to his back and feet. If he didn't find water and food soon enough, they'd die of hunger and thirst before they could become prey to some predator-- animal or tribe—whichever found them first.

Massaging his neck, he contemplated whether he should wake the young ones or leave them be. Choosing the latter, he started rummaging the bags they had managed to salvage for any possible food or even water. His throat hurt from all the salt water he'd gulped yesterday.

He still remembers how scared he was for his life and had seen it flash before him as if it were his final moment. He even sent up prayers for his parents and the band members, including his beloved brother and his producer, he admired so much. If it weren't for the sacrifice their crew made or Jimin and Jungkook's quick thinking, he'd have been fish bait by now.

He shuddered at the thought and focused on going through the second bag. Jungkook sure brought along a lot of things that he deemed were the most useful. Including eight water bottles, wines and --- five meal boxes and ramen.

Well, that should be good for two days if they rationed wisely. He didn't check his own bag, since he knew what kind of rubbish he carried around anyway. Except, well, all the face masks, band-aids and clothes.

Clothes!

He picked all of their clothes out and spread them around on the sand to dry out, jumping about as the sand burnt his feet. It was way too hot to be a beach in Autumn. Kicking both Jimin and Jungkook, he shouted at them for good measure while sipping on the water he'd found.

"Yah, wake up you two. We need to find food and water before it gets dark. I'll find someplace safe enough to rest." He demanded as soon as they'd blinked their eyes open.

"Agh, hyung!" Jungkook complained, rubbing his eyes to rid of the dust and grime, then winced as he felt his throat dry and scratched. Raising his hand toward Jin, he silently gestured for some water which the elder passed him with a frown.

"Use carefully." Jin reminded. “We only have a few bottles.”

Jungkook nodded, and drank only three sips before screwing the cap shut and passing it to Jimin who moaned as his back muscles cramped and hurt with him stretching his arms and feet.

“Someone needs to look for food, water and shelter. Weapons and medication can be done later.” Jimin mumbled with his eyes still closed.

“What do you mean ‘someone’?” Jin asked outraged and singer quoted Jimin. “You need to help as well. Actually, you’re looking for food and water. If not, just get those coconuts down.”

“Why us?” Jungkook asked incredulously. “What about you?”

Pointing to the fallen coconut leaves behind he smirked proudly with his hands fisted at his waist. “Building a shelter and fire, is what. It might be hot as hell right now, but trust me it’s going to get freezing cold at night.”

Nodding their heads, both Jimin and Jungkook picked up their bags and emptied them on the floor, then took off towards the woods.

“Don’t get too far. You don’t know what’s lurking within” Jin called out from the shore while dragging two huge coconut leaves towards a rock.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

It had been two days since they had swum to the island. They’d tried countless times to go into the forest and find water, but failed. The first day they’d managed to find pineapple shrubs and Jungkook had picked them up and broke them open with his bare hands. The night, however, was hard. It was too cold even with the huge bonfire they’d built through the wine and rubbing twigs together. They’d heated up some water and had ramen for dinner.

The next day, they woke up parched again. But this time, they were prepared and collected the dew from leaves and flower petals. It was much more humid and sticky to the point Jin fainted at noon while making a spear out of a branch by sharpening its edges with Jimin’s knife.

He’d been so distracted and dizzy, Jin had managed to slice his own skin of his thumb, resulting in all of them panicking at the sight of blood oozing out of the skin. That was until Jimin remembered, he’d stacked Jungkook’s first aid kit and promptly patched him up. Taking over the job, Jimin asked his hyung to go find water instead, they’d been down to the last bottle now.

But, it was easier to make demands than to fulfill them.

Both Jin and Jungkook, tried finding some kind of pond, ditch or even a waterfall—but every time they tried, they’d fail miserably. The forest was just too thick and confusing and with the heat bearing down on them—it was absolutely impossible.

Yet, even if they didn’t find water, they’d managed to collect coconuts and that was tastier than actual water. The coconut was refreshing for their parched mouths and then the pineapples and strawberries were an amazing bonus.

They’d returned back to find Jimin had completed building somewhat of a shelter for them. It would do. It formed a triangle, just like a tent—but with the front and back open. They’d sleep on their clothes tonight, just like the previous night.

What they didn’t expect, however, was it to storm that night and the shelter actually came in handy, protecting them from harsh winds, coconut drops and the rain. The next morning, they woke up to some large fish that had somehow ended up on the rocks to their right from the violent waves and lots of coconuts had fallen everywhere.

That was when Jin had discovered, they weren’t just regular volcanic rocks but actually flint, which could be used to light fire now that they’d used up all the wine. Leaving Jin to himself, to scout and collect more fish and shells, they went looking for more fruits and water.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Half a bag worth of strawberries and litchis peeked at them, ready to be devoured as Jungkook opened his bag while sat against a banana tree. They were pretty much surrounded by them. They'd already had their fill of twelve bananas each earlier, of which twenty more were stuffed inside Jimin's bag along with six pineapples.

The forest had many wide varieties of trees-- most of which they didn't recognize, yet what they could, however, turned out to be good. Except the encounter with a snake, that made them freeze at the spot until it slithered across Jimin’s feet and some cute birds that followed them around.

“Do you hear that?” Jungkook asked Jimin, holding onto his sleeve while he kept humming their songs under his breath.

“Your heart beating like a drum? No. Not interested.” Jimin snapped. He’s had enough of Jin and Jungkook’s lame jokes for an eternity.

“No! Hyung! Water.” Jungkook whined and stomped his foot on the ground. Why’d Jimin not listen to him? What was making him so cranky? Was it because Jimin’s bag was heavier?

Jimin perked up at that and indeed he could hear the loud plunging and surging of the waterfall not far away. Initially, he had dismissed as the sound of the ocean roaring, but now that Jungkook mentioned it, he became acutely aware of the difference between the two.

Rushing forward, he stumbled at one of the overgrown banana shoots and fell flat on his face, scratching his palms in the process.

“Hyung!” Jungkook sat on his haunches beside him and tried lifting Jimin on his feet, but he brushed him off and whimpered. It hurt. It hurt a lot.

Scrunching his eyes closed, he slowly lifted his feet from the sharp broken conch shell and peeled away his cotton shorts that clung to his knee and opened his eyes as Jungkook gasped out loud. His thigh was stinging to the point it brought tears to his eyes and he didn’t have enough courage to look where Jungkook’s gaze was fixated. Taking a deep breath, he chanced a look and winced aloud, gritting his teeth at the deep gash on his right thigh.

“I’ll go call Jin hyung and bring the first aid kit. Wait here, hyung.” Jungkook whisper shouted and got up to run only to be halted in his tracks and Jimin held onto his wrist tightly.

“No. Look for the spring and fill up bottles. I’ll be fine.” Jimin gritted out through his teeth as he removed his shirt, one arm at a time. Every little movement hurt his legs and more blood gushed out of the slender, yet deep cut to his thigh.

Jungkook could clearly see just how much in pain his hyung was and he couldn’t quite decide if he should listen to his logic or listen to Jimin. At last, he decided to bring back some water and clean his wound instead.

Picking up four bottles, he got up with clenched jaw and took a deep breath. Turning around, he started heading towards the sound of the trickling water and just then, the whirring of a helicopter was heard overhead.

A little to the right, was a black helicopter with yellow police stripes on the body hovering over the forest. Delighted, Jungkook screamed at the top of his lungs when Seokjin came rushing in with the last bag in hand.

“They found us! I knew Bang PD-nim would never disappoint us!” Jin screamed and hollered at the helicopter that opened its windows to reveal a very happy and relieved Namjoon and their manager, Sejin.

“But... Hyung, Jimin is hurt.”

Jin turned around finally to look at Jimin slumped along the banana tree, looking paler by the minute and his thighs soaked with blood.

“What on earth have you done to my baby?” Jin screamed outraged as the rope ladder was thrown from above for them to climb. Turning around, Jin screamed to Namjoon again.

“Jimin is hurt, he can’t climb!”

With a loudspeaker in hand, their manager spoke this time, “Carry him to the clearing straightforward, we’ll land there.” Nodding once, confirming the lads heard him loud and clear, they shut the helicopter door and flew straight ahead.

As soon as the copter flew away, Jungkook tied the shirt Jimin took off earlier to Jimin’s thighs, hoping it stopped the incessant bleeding and picked up Jimin as Jin picked up Jimin’s bag and together, they rushed, albeit a bit more carefully this time around, towards the clearing.

They’d been rescued after three days of burning in the sand and freezing under the stars. As Jimin was being carried in Jungkook’s arms, he wondered how lucky they were to have been so famous and influential. If it weren’t for ARMY, he was sure, nobody would have bothered to find them in an island after the plane crashed the way it did.

Jungkook was worried about Jimin. He was not even responding to the fast movements anymore. He didn’t want to lose Jimin to such a small cut to the thigh. If it got infected or worse, Jimin won’t be able to dance the way he did anymore.

Jin was worried how this event would affect the whole band together, not to mention the fans. Even though they survived without much difficulty and he’d had planned on roasting the fish for lunch wrapped in banana leaves, he just couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong.

Still, they trusted their team and in their fans. No matter what, they’d solve it together. They were the bulletproof boys afterall.

#bts #bts angst #bts imagines #bts fluff #kim seokjin #min yoongi #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #Jung HoSeok #kim namjoon

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dzpenumbra · 2 years ago

Text

9/14/22

The apartment is mine. At least pending a background check and I have no criminal record so... I should be all good. The process has been fuckin weird though. They wanted a deposit up-front before processing my application. I mentioned that yesterday. It feels sketchy. But... I mean... more than that... it feels indicative of a really bad time in history. I mean... we're in a housing crisis, right? And we have been for well over a year. And this woman was kinda acting as though the absolute only thing that mattered was money. And like I needed to provide her some kind of security that I wasn't just gonna skip out and go rent another place. Bro, there aren't any other fucking places, isn't it glaringly obvious? It was just really weird to me, still is. Like... what is the message I'm supposed to get from "we need a 2k deposit before we even look at your application"? I honestly don't know what message I'm supposed to be interpreting here. The best guess I have is "if you act now, you can guarantee this apartment." But... like... how do they know they want me there?

The whole process has been very impersonal and distant. I don't like it at all. I haven't liked any bit of this. I put in a ton of effort to be very deliberate about how I was going to apply, what information I was going to share and how. I still haven't spoken to this woman. The whole thing has just been frantic and completely controlled by this landlord's demands. It's felt very... well I said this morning that it felt like what I imagine applying for a job in Silicon Valley would be like. Very cold, impersonal, all over-inflated lies on paper, people giving prepared responses and code-phrases, spewing out buzzwords and shit. All I wanted this whole fuckin time was to sit down and have a chat with whoever was going to be deciding to give me a roof over my head and make a first impression. Now, I just have a place to live. It's weird. It feels like I just got a dorm on a college campus or something.

Welp, guess that's just what living in an apartment building is gonna be like. Guess I've been living in a small town for too long, it's been over 10 years. Maybe I just forgot that we're all doing this "I don't have to know you, you don't have to know me" thing. As though it's advantageous to not know me. Whatever, I don't wanna dwell on it, we'll see how it plays out. That's just the note my day started on.

My brother reached out to me to touch base about a project I gave him. He's a super talented musician. I asked him to make a ton of streaming music for me, a playlist of good atmospheric background stuff I can put on loop. He got back to me, apparently he made some. I haven't listened to it yet. Because I asked him if he wanted to talk about the plan going forward and what the next steps were and he blew me off until "maybe tomorrow" because he "had a lot of reading to do". ... Yeah. And only other friend blew me off on setting up the Minecraft server and went to spend the night at his girlfriend's house, because obviously that means he can't like... do ANYTHING AT ALL with me. It's weird how people act in those relationships sometimes. I don't know. I'm holding back, I don't want to engage with this frustration. I'm mostly pissed here because I just overcame a life-crippling obstacle today and I kinda wanted to celebrate a bit, but instead I was blown off by literally everyone I know. So, that sucks. At least my Mom was willing to chat and send some good vibes. She even offered to get me takeout, but I didn't wanna put her out driving in the rain.

I don't know, man. I really think I just need people in my life who want to share their life with me, and share my life as well. All this keeping me at arms length shit that so many people do, it's fucking with my head. I'm pretty sure it already has.

I am afraid of intimacy because I have basically never had it. I have in fleeting moments, and moments of illusion, but it has been unfathomably rare in my life. It is pretty much my entire life goal, too. I've been thinking about that a bunch, which seems like a good thing to do just... in general... I just haven't really spent much time on the future, I've always figured it's gonna just happen anyway, why bother trying to control it? But that hasn't worked out great for me, so I'm gonna try to compromise a bit. I really feel like the whole point of life is to learn. To live, obviously, because... you know... you're alive. To try to seek a fulfilling life-experience, pursuing passions, feeling life to its fullest. To learn as much as you can. To pass that learning on, and exchange it with others. To share life with others, share yourself with others.

Like we're all just sensory organs for the collective human race. Who is an extension of the animal kingdom. Which is an extension of Life itself. We're just walking lumps of sensory equipment - cameras, microphones, kinetic sensors, whatever the fuck taste buds are and however the fuck your nose works, damn I didn't realize I didn't know how smell works, I should probably learn that. We gather information, we interpret our environments and our experiences. We process that information and store it as memory, we collect, and stitch a narrative and framework of world understanding. And we share this information, this narrative, this framework, every time we interact with others. This is a contribution to the language of Life itself. The information then spreads and mixes, much in the same way as a viral video or a meme. It saturates and becomes part of culture, which is the impact you have on the world, on history. Your impact, your contribution, is only worth what you put into it, and what you can put into it. In order for one to contribute to society beyond just one degree, 1). they must try 2). they must be received 3). that information must be spread.

I am not a hermit by choice. I simply avoid social gatherings. I have consistently welcomed individuals into my life over the past several years, very openly and very eagerly. My door is always unlocked, quite literally. I have offered a room in my house to several people. I just keep getting rejected. Like... I shit you not... I had a fight with a friend that I used to live in Boston with because we weren't really talking very often and I bashfully and anxiously requested that he check in a little more often because I was getting a bit stir-crazy. This was the pandemic of course, lockdown, and I live alone and wasn't talking to... anyone at the time really. He fought with me over it, he ended the friendship over it. I have talked to him once since when he came to get his shit that I stored for him for free in my spare room. I did not choose that outcome, in fact, I was reaching out to connect even more, to connect as much as I could, and it ended up severing the only social contact I had.

My only social problem recently has been that I am just not present on social media... and I really suck at just going to random social places in person by myself. I always have. If I'm going to the skatepark or something, I could maybe make it work, but... I don't know, it just really puts me off, has for like over 10 years. I wish I could define it better. I guess I just feel really sad with it. I don't like being in a place dedicated to social interaction and just sitting there by myself. People never approach me, it never goes the way people hint it's going to. Like I always got the advice "go to the bookstore coffee shop and just sit there and draw for a while". You know what happens? I listen to shitty castrated jazz. I drink super-overpriced coffee. I eat decent food. I draw by myself for an hour and a half. People give me a wide berth. I pack up and leave. Every time. I can just do that shit at home and listen to my own damn music. The whole point of going was for it to be social, and no one ever approaches, so why bother? I gave up on that shit super quick. Skatepark is a bit different, but it's mostly kids honestly. There's basically no one my age, and if there is they tend to be worlds better than I am at skating. It's rarely an in-depth conversation, usually small-talk.

But if I go to a social location with a friend? That's when shit pops off. That's when people start socializing. If I have someone to riff off of, it works pretty damn effectively.

This was actually a pretty defining moment when I really noticed that my ex was not the right person for me - even though I didn't know it at the time at all. Took me years to really process it. I had just gotten back from a friend's wedding, which she did not go with me to... which is still weird since I offered to pay and everything, but there was some side-action way back that was a bit sketchy so... who knows exactly what was going on there... I digress... Not a place my 4:30 AM brain needs to go today. I wanted to get back to living life. I was just sick and on meds all the time and a complete wreck. She was just frantically working all the time. I had us go on a date to the closest major mall that had IMAX. We were going to see The Last Jedi, because I'm a big Star Wars fan and I got her into the series too. That should give a timeframe around when this was. I remember walking through the mall with her and sorta strutting around and being goofy. It had been years since I had done that, I missed it, I was finally reconnecting with it. We went up to the ticket counter and I asked for tickets, but I very intentionally put my inflection emphasis on the wrong word. I asked for two tickets for The Last Jedi. It's a subtle joke, not even really a joke, more just... something out of place. It shakes things up a bit, puts the other person on their toes, disorients them, which is a good way to get a giggle while making a little bit of an ass of yourself. My ex immediately brought full attention to the joke, started giggling and diffusing the situation basically. That moment right there, that reaction right there. That was really helpful in me learning what I really need in my life. I need someone who will go with the bit. I need someone who will say "yes, and". And who is beaming with excitement to do that. That will change my life.

I just kinda need that in my life all around, in any form. I need synergy. I need harmony. And resonance. Long periods of extreme isolation get you to a place where it seems like it's a myth. Or an extremely endangered species. This is to the point where I doubt I ever really had it at any point, and end up doubting that it exists, and then not bothering to waste the energy trying to hunt down Sasquatch.

But I need it. It's the key piece in bringing my life's purpose together, and the one piece I can't create myself. So I just need to reacquaint myself with venues of social interaction nowadays. My Discord is dead, I type on here every night, I sometimes read Reddit but have no friends there, my Twitch has 2 chatters unless one is streaming, the Twitch rooms I visit are too big to meet people in. So... I just don't have a place to meet anyone. I'm open to suggestions if anyone reading this that somehow got this far down wants to put out there, if they've ever had any luck. I'm sure I've asked before. I'll get back on the dating apps when I move. Oh yeah, the move date is gonna be mid-November, so that's good news. I've got some time to get my shit packed and say my goodbyes to the area.

Alright, meandering train of thought has come to a halt for a bit, it's as good a time as any to head to sleep. Here's my first real bit of celebration for my new home. YAY! Okay, I'll try to get someone else to give a shit about this tomorrow. Goodnight, moon.

#diary #journal #stream of thoughts #spilled thoughts #stream of conscious writing #online journal

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