#guess who i married

[artylla]

A.S.S

[sunderwight]

I love fics where Shen Yuan transmigrates into one of Luo Binghe's wives, but consider:

Shen Yuan transmigrates into a female character who has never been mentioned as one of Luo Binghe's wives. However, he looks around, goes "I'm a beautiful woman in the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way" and subsequently decides that he absolutely must be a wife. Alas, curses, what a horrifying fate for an extremely heterosexual young man (who was definitely a man yup except no longer alas), but there is just nothing for it now she's gotta marry Luo Binghe and have sex with him.

Shen Yuan: I can't believe you're FORCING me to marry Luo Binghe

The System: actually user doesn't have to--

Shen Yuan: C L E A R L Y as a beautiful woman I have NO alternative so even if you don't make it an express order, there is nothing else I can do!

The System: marrying the protagonist is not a requirement for--

Shen Yuan: NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Just once I would like a Peter stuck in Gotham story where Tony gets dragged along with him for the ride.

Like they drop down and Tony is like

“Not an ideal situation, good news is we’re not dead. Bad news that looked like a one way trip for us. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now we should focus on short turn goals: food, water and a place to stay, everything else can wait.”

I want Tony to be out there working his ass off from helping people with broken items then getting a job at wayne enterprises and starting a technology revolution in this dimension because he just can’t stand how out of date everything is and then running to pick up Peter from the rich kid school and the two of them trying to do reconnaissance and failing miserably.

Peter for his part is having a great time with school and his new vigilante gig.

Peter’s vigilante friends in school are worried about how bruised Peter looks sometimes and think that Tony is abusive before breaking in and just hearing Tony being a mother hen.

Then one breakout things are not looking too good and Spider-man just says

“Karen, activate Papa Protocol.”

And then like ten minutes later in comes Ironman with a bone to pick with the rouges.

Bruce doesn’t know if he loves Tony or hates him but his kids find him hilarious.

[this-blog-is-for-good-vibes-only]

I finally finished the main game.. it threw me straight into the dlc.. I didn’t even have time to finish Narinder’s side quests.. :((

So I decided in honor of the fact that I’m about to collect bishop followers like Pokemon cards, I drew them :)

Shamura.. very hard to draw. I had to trace many times to finally get a decent doodle..

[hermitwithoutapermit]

if we can’t have a rendoc wedding bc APPARENTLY they’re married already then we can use the courthouse to renew their vows

[ryllen]

[ineffectualdemon]

My kid playing Stardew Valley: mountain forest gremlin who barely deals with the farm because they live for mining. Also lives with a sewer creature. Is beloved by the townsfolk

Me playing Stardew Valley: hardworking farmer who really cares about the farm and the farm animals and does the best they can to create top notch products. Hated by everyone except the town goths and the homeless man who lives in the woods

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wardrobe Woes

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[tea-cat-arts]

I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji

[calamitoustide]

okay so Harry is Lily’s kid and James is his uncle and one day Lily’s in a bind and needs him to pick Harry up from daycare so of course he does it and he goes in and finds this… really hot dad. And his daughter is talking to Harry so James takes the chance to go talk to him. He learns his name is Regulus and is so obsessed with it as James always is and Reg points at Harry and asks if he’s his son. James being the idiot that he is says yes (he’s struggling). Also they look pretty much identical cause he was the sperm donor so it makes sense that Reg asks. James has been asked it before... but Reg is hot and he short circuited. They leave and agree that they should rearrange a play date… you know for the kids.

James has to keep asking Lily to borrow Harry to take him to these places and it’s this huge mess.

And Reg has to keep coming up with reasons to Pandora and Xeno why he always wants to take their daughter out places.

chaos ensues.

[lotus-pear]

would nana and nana’s ship name be nana 🤨

[hey-its-sybarite]

If you ever feel sad it’s because you’re subconsciously thinking about Camilla Hect

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Have a JayRoy prompt I will never finish shhhh

Jason: Can you believe Bruce and Ollie right now?! Do they seriously think blowing up our phones is going to convince either of us to throw a stupid wedding?

Jason: How do they not get that the reason we went to the courthouse was to literally avoid all of this in the first place?!

Roy, choked up: Yeah, totally. They're totally blowing this way out of proportion.

Jason: ......

Jason: ......... what's wrong?

Roy: Nothing.

Jason: .....

Roy: It's just ... Dinah sent me some pics of some flower girl dresses she was looking at.

Roy, barely holding back tears: Lian would make such a cute flower girl!!!

Jason: *long sigh*

Jason: Okay. I'll call Bruce.

[acidsugar21]

Tongues and Teeth :: TWST

Something I made at literally 12 AM... not proofread so like go easy on me thanks </3 Kind of?? An AU of my TWST X Reader ??? Yeah. (Not really ig idk) Also angst?? I guess. Slight panic attack from Kalim and MC. Lot's of crying via Kalim <3 Characters: Kalim, Jamil, (fem!) MC Song: Tongues & Teeth, The Crane Wives {{Jamil to MC, MC to Kalim}}

I’ve grown a mouth so sharp and cruel

“For what it’s worth Jamil, I don’t forgive you.” You spat the words out like venom as you stared at the servant, your lips pressed into a thin line as your nose remained scrunched in distaste.

It’s all that I can give to you, my dear

You stared blankly at the flower that sat atop your clothes. The beautiful petals seemed to have a certain aura– one of purity. They remained uncrushed, unlike the flower Kalim had oh so kindly gifted you.

And when you come in quick to steal a kiss

You blinked owlishly as you touched your lips. The kiss Kalim had given you was chaste– quick. A small peck. For some reason, it left a bitter feeling on your lips– which was odd, because Kalim’s tasted as sweet as coconuts.

My teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

You watched from afar as Kalim sobbed violently over Jamil, the servant keeping his head low as he clenched his fists in irritation at the entire situation. The constant wailing of Kalim’s voice in his ears surely didn’t help.

And I know that you mean so well

The flower was gorgeous– a pristine white that separated itself from the dark of the night sky you and Kalim sat under. Kalim’s hands were gentle as he set the flower in your hair, his fingers brushing against your cheek.

But I am not a vessel for your good intent

The black and blue swirled and mixed, unnoticeable to the human eye as it settled in your gem. Your eyes stayed on the sand, your lips pressed together as you listened to the music. 

It was so odd how humans bounced back.

I will only break your pretty things

Wide eyes watched as Jamil crushed your flower– your flower. The white petals separated from one another, rips and tears in what used to be their flawless and soft petals. Now they remained crumpled up on the floor, sitting in a disgusting pool of ink.

I will only wring you dry of everything

Covering your arms, you watched as Kalim happily chatted with Vil– a certain gleam in his eye as he babbled on and on about what repairs needed to be done to Ramshackle and how excited he was to help with the money. Next to him stood Jamil, the brunette eyeing the younger housewarden with a hidden layer of irritation and exasperation.

But if you’re fine with that

You can be mine like that

Abandon all your stupid dreams about the girl I could have been, my dear

Somewhere out there, surely, there was a version of you that was happy in Twisted Wonderland. It was made clear to you by everything the world threw at you that you should be here. It wouldn’t let you go home.

But you don’t think that happy version of you existed here, in Night Raven.

‘Cause, in the night, I know you burn with feelings 

You stared at Kalim curiously from under your lashes, the cold wind whipping and tugging at your skin harshly. His smile was soft as he stared at the sky.

That was just about the only good thing to come from Ramshackle. The view it provided.

I cannot return my, dear

“I’m always chosen. Always. That’s such an obvious truth that I’ve never consciously processed it.” He admitted softly, shrugging his shoulders rather pathetically at you.

Oh my, dear

You gotta know that this won’t last

It was a calm reassurance you had told Kalim– a true one, by all means. Kalim was not responsible for Jamil’s overblot. At least, not entirely. It was high time that both he and the servant come to that realization, for the dancing back and forth over who was right and who was wrong had long worn out both their dancing shoes, you believed. 

It had begun to get irritating. 

But it was a sweet moment– a kind, moment. And that was something you didn’t get very often.

Desperation will erase that fact

Your cries echoed through the hallway of Ramshackle– like a gentle ghosts cry, it haunted the quietness of the night, all through your bedrooms door.

Jamil’s hand hovered over the old wood, never fully touching it as he listened to your wails as you wallowed in your own pool of misery. Eventually, he let his hand fall to his side as he heard your cries come to a stop.

“She must have gone to bed.” He muttered to himself, staring at your door one last time before walking off.

I’m keeping all of the answers in my cigarette box 

Your hands gripped the ghost camera. The stupid, orange, and old camera that Crowley had gifted you. It was practically useless to you– you’ve only ever used it a handful of times before. And that mouse motif– oh, the horrid mouse motif.

It was a stark reminder that you lived in a different world. A world that, by all means, should not be possible.

But it was, and you were stuck in it.

Yeah, the answer’s in the second before the other shoe drops

The confetti rained down on you, but not for you. The colorful pieces of paper dusted your skin as yells and hollers filled the air.

But not for you. Never for you.

Slowly, your eyes found Jamils. His dark eyes stared into your own, both of you looking at each other with what felt like apathetic expressions. But there was a layer of irritation under both of your surfaces as you attempted to drown out the wails of Kalim.

And for a moment, you realized– you were witnessing Kalim’s second loss.

Ever.

And one of your many.

And if you’re blind to that

I am fine with that

The wails of Kalim echoed through the empty Ramshackle dorm as he sobbed and cried for you and Jamil to come back. His hands shook as he raked them through his hair, his ruby-red eyes doused in tears.

His body couldn’t stop itself from shaking, his lips trembling as he yelled, and screamed, and soon he began to mutter under his breath. His words were so jumbled together that even Rook had a hard time understanding the housewarden.

Oh, I will ruin you

You felt like you were in a daze– a neverending one, to boot. Your heart beat in a way it shouldn’t as you ignored Leona’s voice, your eyes focused on the passed-out Jamil.

His hair covered his face in a delicate curtain as if shielding him from the world. It was as if the pure sight of him had been enough to reel you back in. As you caught your breath, you listened to Leona quietly.

But never did your eyes stray from Jamil.

Oh, I will ruin you

Each overblot. Every single one of them– in a way, they had all turned out the same, hadn’t they?

Each boy made it out alive.

They got to apologize– but never did you ever feel quite satisfied with them. A mere apology wouldn’t make up for the trauma they caused. 

But despite it all, nothing ever changed. Another overblot always took the old ones' place. A different person. A different time. A different challenge.

But you always stared it in the face– and you always saved the day.

It’s a habit, I can’t help it

I know that you mean so well

Child Kalim laughed happily as he ran in circles around Child Jamil, the light shining down on them as you and Jamil stared at the scene with dull eyes.

But I am not a vessel for your good intent

Jamil’s hand wrapped around your own as you both stared at a similar scene– your, scene. 

He squeezed it.

And you squeezed back.

You and Jamil– however harshly you had treated one another, in a twisted, sick, and hell-bent way– understood each other.

And you weren’t sure if Kalim ever quite could. 

I will only break your pretty things

The flower Jamil had gifted you (as a replacement, you added solemnly in your mind) has long since been discarded. Where it lay now, you had no clue. 

It was a shame, you thought. 

Even a replacement for the purest gift you had been given had been lost.

Perhaps you were just never meant to have one.

I will only wring you dry of everything

The red outfit you had been gifted was tucked away in your closet. Grimly, you shoved the clothes Crewel had given you aside as you stared at it.

You really, really liked the outfit. 

It was beautiful and dripping in gold– the silk shifted against your skin, causing you no irritation.

It was expensive, to boot.

Such a shame its history was riddled with something so horrible, you thought with a frown before slamming the closet doors shut.

And if you’re fine with that

If you’re fine with that

Kalim stared at you with wide eyes, his lips parted in disbelief as you and Jamil stood in front of him. 

Jamil had…used his Unique Magic on you?

Multiple times?

Questions swam through his head at the speed of light– were any of the moments you and he shared in Scarabia together real?

When were you under the spell and when were you not?

I will poison all your happy thoughts

I will love you like the ashes in my cigarette box

And if you’re fine with that

You can be mine

If you’re fine with that

The dress was long, and the gold that was embroidered on it glistened in the light as you made your way down the aisle. Red flowers decorated the venue as you avoided everyone’s curious gazes on your form, with your head dipped low as you continued. 

“You look gorgeous.” He whispered to you, making a small smile appear on your lips.

And as you peered up, you met his eyes.

But for some reason, you couldn’t tell if they were red or a dark, rooted brown.

You can be mine

[salarymanwaka]

late for work...

[corsairspade]

Halenthir scenario where they get married for tax benefits (in a platonic good friends sort of way) and fall in love long distance via sending each other letters with ideas on how to best leverage their marriage for tax evasion.