#guess who i married

[artylla]

A.S.S

[sunderwight]

I love fics where Shen Yuan transmigrates into one of Luo Binghe's wives, but consider:

Shen Yuan transmigrates into a female character who has never been mentioned as one of Luo Binghe's wives. However, he looks around, goes "I'm a beautiful woman in the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way" and subsequently decides that he absolutely must be a wife. Alas, curses, what a horrifying fate for an extremely heterosexual young man (who was definitely a man yup except no longer alas), but there is just nothing for it now she's gotta marry Luo Binghe and have sex with him.

Shen Yuan: I can't believe you're FORCING me to marry Luo Binghe

The System: actually user doesn't have to--

Shen Yuan: C L E A R L Y as a beautiful woman I have NO alternative so even if you don't make it an express order, there is nothing else I can do!

The System: marrying the protagonist is not a requirement for--

Shen Yuan: NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Just once I would like a Peter stuck in Gotham story where Tony gets dragged along with him for the ride.

Like they drop down and Tony is like

“Not an ideal situation, good news is we’re not dead. Bad news that looked like a one way trip for us. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now we should focus on short turn goals: food, water and a place to stay, everything else can wait.”

I want Tony to be out there working his ass off from helping people with broken items then getting a job at wayne enterprises and starting a technology revolution in this dimension because he just can’t stand how out of date everything is and then running to pick up Peter from the rich kid school and the two of them trying to do reconnaissance and failing miserably.

Peter for his part is having a great time with school and his new vigilante gig.

Peter’s vigilante friends in school are worried about how bruised Peter looks sometimes and think that Tony is abusive before breaking in and just hearing Tony being a mother hen.

Then one breakout things are not looking too good and Spider-man just says

“Karen, activate Papa Protocol.”

And then like ten minutes later in comes Ironman with a bone to pick with the rouges.

Bruce doesn’t know if he loves Tony or hates him but his kids find him hilarious.

[mohntilyet]

veilguard spoilers regarding a josie romance. but can we talk about the letter josie sends to a romanced inquisitor because. i’m sorry. fucking losing my mind at the fact that the inquisitor and josephine are close enough friends with the guy the inquisitor duels in her romance to be invited to meet his third child. implying they’ve been invited to the other two. at a baby shower and getting introduced as the one who dueled the baby’s father because he was trying to steal your girl. antivan romances insane.

NO LITERALLLYYYYY. AND HE’S AN IN LAW. ITS TOO FUNNY. i cannot imagine how they met and how yvette probably was like “teehee…. the man that my sister spurned…. has fallen in love with ME!” and the best/worst part is that ortranto really has. i like to think of them running around with each other and secretly meeting as though their families actually hate each other (they really don’t lol) . the ortrantos would probably be delighted to have their son actually marry a montilyet like they wanted, even better that they’re actually in love and it’s not arranged!

i have this image of josie going like “you can’t marry him. is this a joke, because it’s not funny. i almost embarrassed him! the only reason the ortrantos do not hate us is because he is a very kind man who saw that i was in love with the inquisitor! ….yes i suppose a very kind man like that could love you…….. yes of course i want you to be happy…… yvette gabrielle montilyet, i fear you are not hearing what i’m saying— DON’T SAY YOU ARE ALREADY AN ORTRANTO. DID YOU ELOPE? ah okay. don’t do that. i said don’t do that. yvette come back and listen to me” etc etc

of course i must believe that there was a big scene caused (once again) by a montilyet and ortranto that ends with lord ortranto making a speech where the publicly declares his love for yvette in front of all of antiva city to see and hear. so there’s no backing out from this one. in my mind there’s a rehash of the big “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!” (ortranto, desperate but genuine), “you do?” (completely aghast josie who has somehow missed the fact her sister has been giggling even more than usual), plus an “OF COURSE HE DOES!” (a thrilled yvette) that reminds josie so fondly of her own love story that she's immediately relaxed (and suddenly accepting) about this whole thing <3

[this-blog-is-for-good-vibes-only]

I finally finished the main game.. it threw me straight into the dlc.. I didn’t even have time to finish Narinder’s side quests.. :((

So I decided in honor of the fact that I’m about to collect bishop followers like Pokemon cards, I drew them :)

Shamura.. very hard to draw. I had to trace many times to finally get a decent doodle..

[hermitwithoutapermit]

if we can’t have a rendoc wedding bc APPARENTLY they’re married already then we can use the courthouse to renew their vows

[ryllen]

[hellinhawkins]

let me get this straight. so you’re telling me that mike and el are going to *checks notes* kiss in a field? and then *flips page* mike is going to spend the rest of the season with will…? and *squints* then mileven gets married and has three kids….?

[ineffectualdemon]

My kid playing Stardew Valley: mountain forest gremlin who barely deals with the farm because they live for mining. Also lives with a sewer creature. Is beloved by the townsfolk

Me playing Stardew Valley: hardworking farmer who really cares about the farm and the farm animals and does the best they can to create top notch products. Hated by everyone except the town goths and the homeless man who lives in the woods

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wardrobe Woes

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[uhhlifeig]

Holly - Dec. 19th - word count: 248 - @wolfstarmicrofic

“Uncle Paddy! Uncle Moony!” a five-year-old Harry Potter cried, bounding over to them. “Listen, listen! Mama an’ Papa teached me a song!”

“Oh?” Sirius asked, crouching down and tilting his head. “What song did they teach you?”

“Deck th’ Halls! You wanna hear, Uncle Paddy?” Harry asked. 

“Yeah, c’mon, little Prongslet. Sing for Uncle Moony and I, yeah?”

“Okay! Deck the halls wif’ boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la,” Harry sang. “Tis th’ season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la.”

It wasn’t quite on tune, but he was really adorable, so who cared?

“Err, don we now our gay app’r’l,” Harry continued, losing steam. “Fa la la la la la la la la. Uh, I f’rgot the rest.”

“That’s okay, Harry,” Remus said, crouching down. “That was very nice. I loved it, didn’t you, Pads?”

Remus looked over at his husband, who was hiding his mouth behind his hand and turning redder and redder by the second. 

At first, Remus thought he was going to cry, but upon closer inspection, it turned out that Sirius was trying not to laugh.

“And what, exactly, is so funny, Sirius?” Remus asked. “Was it the part about gay apparel? Because I swear to Merlin-”

“I- er, no?” Sirius said, uncovering his mouth but still looking really red. “Well yes, but I was thinking of your sweaters. That’s probably some of the gayest apparel out there, Moons.”

“Shut up, Sirius.”

[tea-cat-arts]

I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji

[calamitoustide]

okay so Harry is Lily’s kid and James is his uncle and one day Lily’s in a bind and needs him to pick Harry up from daycare so of course he does it and he goes in and finds this… really hot dad. And his daughter is talking to Harry so James takes the chance to go talk to him. He learns his name is Regulus and is so obsessed with it as James always is and Reg points at Harry and asks if he’s his son. James being the idiot that he is says yes (he’s struggling). Also they look pretty much identical cause he was the sperm donor so it makes sense that Reg asks. James has been asked it before... but Reg is hot and he short circuited. They leave and agree that they should rearrange a play date… you know for the kids.

James has to keep asking Lily to borrow Harry to take him to these places and it’s this huge mess.

And Reg has to keep coming up with reasons to Pandora and Xeno why he always wants to take their daughter out places.

chaos ensues.

[niccolites]

promise i have not disappeared off the face of the earth, just am writing an android!price au and it is KICKING my ass rn

general plot is fem!reader is married and price is their new android that her military husband gets her so someone is in the house to keep her safe while he's away. and it's dubcon bc ofc it it. excerpt below while i try to wrangle it into something salvageable lol

-

The night before Arthur comes home, you try to sort yourself out. Routine is only another day away and you crave it so bad that your mouth waters with it. You decide you’re going to speak with Arthur when he gets back, tell him that you understand why he has left John with you, but it’s just not working out.

Standing at the kitchen sink, washing clean cups again, let John stand to the side of you. You’re feeling petty, the thought of being rid of him soon filling you with a specific type of bravery. It’s like he knows, you tell yourself. That’s why he’s being so quiet. Waiting for you to speak first rather than the usual, where he lets you know what he’s going to do, as if to forewarn you to not even try.

You hear him stand, turn around just to see him adjust himself in his trousers. You frown, confused. Perhaps stare a bit too intently at his crotch. He looks back at you, amused in the way that you imagine hunters are when they hear an animal yowl in pain from a shot. “Can I help you, ma’am?” he asks.

You flush but refuse to look away from him. “Is that just something to make you seem human? I can’t imagine you actually have -” Cut yourself off. Filthy words that have never been spoken in this house. Only the sweet back and forth of you and Arthur’s routine. Would feel like a betrayal of some kind, as if Arthur will come home and hear the echoing of your foul mouth hours after, bouncing off of the walls and settling into the grain of the wood.

“You asking if I have a cock, sweetheart?” John asks, steps closer. Slippery hands clench around glass. He looks like he’s scented blood, like he wants to dart forward and finally catch you in this elaborate game that you’ve been playing that only he knows the rules to.

“Why would you? What purpose would that have?” you return, frowning at him. Disapproving, a familiar role for you, even if it is relatively passive compared to how you feel now. You feel the absurd urge to hiss at him, poison in your mouth. Feel how it burns your gums.

“Most likely a function for bored housewives,” he drawls, dark eyes intent on you.

You freeze, stare at him. You know that he isn’t supposed to speak to you like that. Know that backchat must not be some certain part of his hardwiring. He seems to be challenging you as well, watching you with that half-smirk, half-scowl of his. You tilt your hand under the hot water, let the snapping burn of your skin pull your focus away.

He clicks his tongue, as if disappointed. Feel the point of his stare on the sink. You twist your hand, the squeak of flesh against glass, grating.

Your skin turns red under the water, the flow shattering against the nerves on the back of your palm before it is suddenly stopped. You startle, heat at your side suddenly as he pulls your hands out of the sink, dries them with a gentleness that quiets you.

The hair across his knuckles tickles against the smooth of your own. He holds them, as if he just wants to. Function done, the gap between one order and the next. You stay quiet, watch him. Study him for once.

He’s openly frowning now, thumb against the blotches of red. “Be careful,” he says, suddenly, as if the temperature reading he has just read on you is not to his liking. Body twisting with displeasure. Feel him run it through his synthetic surface and into your skin, running through wiring and into your blood vessels, becomes your own.

Open your mouth to snark back, silenced when he gives you a firm look. “It’s only water,” you mutter, sullen.

“Doesn’t matter,” he barks back. Culls you. “I don’t want you near the sink.” You bristle. “Or will you wear gloves next time?” He looms over you, a threat in the size of him. The urge to behave for someone bigger than you. The way he doesn’t have to throw you around, the shift of his bicep is implicit enough.

“I’ll wear gloves,” you give in, mullish. Desperate not to be banned from the sink in your own home.

He settles with that, one last smooth over the back of your hand, leaves you feeling like static. “Good girl,” he murmurs. You hear it like a gunshot, and spend the rest of the day with music blaring in the kitchen, hoping to drown that sound out before your husband comes home and finds it in the metal of the sink.

Or worse, hears the intake of breath you emitted. Guilty.

[lotus-pear]

would nana and nana’s ship name be nana 🤨

[hey-its-sybarite]

If you ever feel sad it’s because you’re subconsciously thinking about Camilla Hect