#guess we have our answer as to why he's not in the ODIs

[tiredgayloser]

Joe Root signing with the Dubai Capitals for the IL-T20 in '23 was not the news I was expecting to receive tonight, but it is so very welcome.

The IPL auction is also tomorrow (which Joe has put his name in for), so who knows what's going to happen. Is he gonna learn how to teleport, or is there going to be a Joe Root clone™️ running around the UAE?

[parkers-gal]

masterlist

requests | closed to complete current requests <3

last updated | aug 5th, 2021

do not repost my work anywhere !! respect this please. | fics are not ordered in any particular way. these headers are mine so pls don’t use/take them

tom holland

insomnia - reader can’t get to sleep; tom finds out why

driving in the rain - fluffy dinner date and rainy drive back home

workouts and warmth - when all tom wants is some after-workout cuddles

from across the living room - announcing your engagement to your families

the one - you want to move out and get your own place as a couple, but tom doesn’t. nikki talks to him. 

anything for the twins - tom massages reader’s boobies during her period

moms, makeouts, and mishaps - nikki walks in during your makeout sesh

simple acts of intimacy - a fluffy 3.1k words worth of blurbs

silver surprises - the reader surprises tom at a premiere

twenty questions - questions ensue after tom & reader get stuck in an elevator

my gut - spinoff of twenty questions with claustrophobic!reader (tw/ anxiety + attacks)

stealth mode - tom & reader scaring each other

unicorns vs pegasuses - tom shuts the reader up by kissing them

a good story - tom meets reader at a meet & greet — friendships blossom to lovers

deal breaker - tom wants kids, but the reader does not

his lap - reader asks for help in overcoming an insecurity; tom misreads the situation

pool day - pool day w/ tom + the boys

hot - the reader picks a certain song that reminds her of tom - the boys go wild

grounded by rocks - tom talks about you in an interview for cherry

your hands - when all he wants is a simple head massage

late flights - in which tom takes too much time with the fans

nobody wanted to - where only one person makes it out alive

way more than 50 - the hollands trick the reader into thinking they did something they weren’t supposed to 

why [ pt ii ] - sweet cupcakes, and a not so sweet breakup

what looks suspicious - nikki doesn’t exactly approve of tom dating the reader

something sweet - reader drops off small gifts while tom’s on set

he remembers - when tom finds the letter

missed you - reuniting w/tom after four long months

soft gangsta - tom tries to dress edgy; the reader is unconvinced

the shoe game - reader & tom play the shoe game at their wedding

too much - when the reader has a rough time with work, tom comforts them

losing grip [ pt ii ] - a losing battle between the reader and a hereditary disease causes heartbreak

your captain america - protective!tom holland of young reader (age gap)

sexy genius - reader is a fan of (and meets) jake gyllenhaal

teddy bear cuddles - tom wears an oversized hoodie

nonsense - the boys think the reader is meddling with tom’s work

circles before yourself - rule #2 - osterfield!reader gets caught with tom

seventeen times - when the reader is having a hard time in lock down, tom tries to help (TW // depression)

pixie dust hair - tom assures insecure!reader that the pixie haircut looks good <3

a few more months - reader passes out during a run; tw // excessive exercising

tiktok au’s

body ody ody - tom gets a little jealous over a few social media comments 

sweats in the supermarket - getting tom hard when he wears sweats

put your records on - trying not to kiss each other first

mood killer - saying dirty things into tom’s ear

say it back - pranking tom by not saying ily back to him

two different ways - tom choking the reader to get two different reactions 

brutal - doing the “did you mean to post this?” trend on tom 

worst thirty minutes of my life - playing a drinking game with tom to see who gives into cuddles first

my girl’s cuddles - crawling into tom’s lap 

even - buying hot leggings & taping tom’s reaction 

goofball - a silly way to reveal reader’s pregnancy to tom 

end the debate - “i found out why my boobs are small” trend

slam the car door - doing the car door prank on tom 

water bottle wars - the boys ask you and tom questions about each other. wrong answers result in sprayed water 

get you back real good - you & the boys prank tom after watching a scary movie 

peachy - sighing / moaning in front of tom playing video games to get his reaction

my princess - tom does a tiktok where he guesses all your answers to everyday questions

dad!tom

needles and needs - when scarlet has to get shots, you realize she may not be the only one that needs comforting

all my girls - scarlet meets her baby sister for the first time (dad!tom)

everything i love about u - tom is afraid baby red might hate him for leaving home too much

a little extra help - stepdad!tom being the best dad to your daughter

through the tears - pregnant!reader goes into labour, and baby holland meets the family

first feed - tom watches you breastfeed for the first time

warmth from the love - baby holland’s first Christmas

first words - baby holland speaks for the first time

breaking the internet - when your pregnancy announcement crashes multiple apps/websites (pregnant!reader)

breaking the internet... again - when baby holland breaks the internet

boyfriends and brunch - when jade brings home her boyfriend (aged!up)

big sister + how are babies made - telling scarlet about the baby on the way (pregnant!reader)

too many kids - the reader’s dad has some commentary about the twins

mumma’s girl - tom gets jealous when scarlet isn’t a daddy’s girl

angels - a little skin to skin time with his best girl

family man - after a nasty breakup, tom finds out you had his child

cheesy uncles - telling paddy he’s going to be an uncle

ag!reader (more to come !!)

y’all really get nasty - tom and the fans discuss ag!reader’s songs

my favorite things - ag!reader performs in front of the mcu cast at the grammy’s

34 + 35 - the boys react to reader’s new song(s)

34 + 35 remix - the boys reacting to the remix

his remedy - the boys react to positions deluxe

neglected - AG!reader breaks up w tom because of their job; tom searches for answers

low-key wants him - reader talks about how much nonna (+ her fam) loves tom

see u soon - reader interacts with tom while on stage for the swt

a few spilled secrets - AG!reader performs on jimmy fallon’s show.. tom and her confess a few secrets

for the first time - when the reader breaks down crying while singing about her ex, tom is there to comfort her

dance with me, rain on me - reader has a hard time on set, tom to the rescue

every tomorrow - the first album release night after your breakup

here we go again - introducing tom (+ the boys) to your celebrity friends

condoms or safety nets - the boys react to AG!reader’s song “safety net”

we’re not engaged - AG!reader announcing to the world why they no longer have a fiance... (fluffy)

the late late show - AG!reader & tom do spill your guts or fill your guts

pain from pleasure - dad!tom goes through a birth simulator — controlled by the reader

never have i ever - tom & the reader play a game on the late late show

fluffy hair - ag!reader has a zoom interview with zach sang. tom makes an appearance

fighting off the haters - ag!reader and older!tom holland (age gap) attend an award show after going public

run your hands thru my hair - tom reacts to ag!reader’s song “my hair”

stick to acting - tom tries to make a beat for ag!reader

practically twins - reader meets sebastian & anthony at comic con

damn lucky - black!reader wears her hair naturally during an interview

what a piece - reader talks about tom related songs & tattoos

flip it - tom talks about reader in an interview

at the door - older!reader & tom fight off haters

a headcannon of ag!reader being a marvel cast member

a headcannon of tom & the reader attending the avengers endgame premiere

styles!reader (more to come !!)

bathroom kisses - makeout sessions with tom and styles!reader in the bathroom

yeah, he is - tom holland x styles!reader meet the styles family; protective older brother harry makes an appearance

unparalleled love - older brother harry styles makes a speech at reader’s wedding

grilled - date night for tom & styles!reader is a bit difficult with two kids; older brother!harry to the rescue

baby showers and brothers - dad!tom & styles!reader are going to be parents

potential boyfriend - tom has a crush on the reader when they first meet

ts!reader (more to come!!)

trust me - tom & the reader defend her after nikki doesn’t approve

your london boy - tom & co. + the world reacts to “london boy”

boy of my dreams - tom being proud of the reader for winning a grammy

rapper!tom

tom records your sounds during sex for his music (hc)

tom talks about you in an interview

concepts: one , two , three

professor!tom

my pretty girl - tom gets jealous when reader gets many valentines

other reader tropes

cherry - reader is a screenwriter for tom’s upcoming movie

no shouting - singer!reader needs some help after paparazzis are too much (based on a video of tom)

pregnancy belly - actress!reader has to wear a pregnancy belly for her role, and the boys tease tom about when it’ll be real

we march - actress!reader being a huge feminist

passions & pediatricians - pediatrician-to-be!reader meets tom

politics - reader’s granpa is joe biden (requested) and tom meets him

extra support - psychiatrist!reader helps tom on the set of cherry

you made it big - tom holland x actress!reader at the after party

partition - the boys react to famous!reader singing partition

senorita - singer!reader makes a music video with shawn, who’s tom’s new best friend

miniseries 

boomerang: one , two , three , four [completed]

peter parker

making amends

➢ enemies to lovers ; college!peter x super soldier!reader ; 30k words ; sorta slow burn

cheeky guy, favorite thighs - college!peter doing a tik tok challenge — between the reader’s thighs [tik tok au]

a little nicer - doing the prank on peter (”you could’ve been a little nicer to me today”)

start searching - first make out sessions with our best boy :)

hidden hickeys - the avengers think innocence of peter, until they’re proven wrong

the team - part two of hidden hickeys; reader meets the avengers

all of you - late night talks about your future with peter :’)

like you wouldn’t believe - reader tells mj about her & peter’s awesome sex

slip from my hands - roommate!peter comforts the reader after a nightmare

i’d wait for her - college!peter parker needs to come to terms with you and your boyfriend

shut up and kiss me - soft make out sessions with peter :)

all the good things in the world, and i get you - insecure!reader needs a little reassuring 

modern chivalry - peter being a gentleman on the subway

eggnog and mistletoe - peter helps you love the holidays

the force awakens? it sleeps - a little extra comfort & care from our favorite baby boyfriend 

a prince - wonder woman!reader meets spider-man (& avengers) in a mission

steve rogers fics - peter finds you reading fanfiction abt steve rogers

fanboy!peter

fanboys and bracelets - fanboy!peter parker goes to famous!singer!reader’s meet and greet

fanboys and phone numbers - fanboy!peter parker continuation 

showing around - fanboy!peter gets VIP access; some dancing ensues

stark!reader + avengers!reader

if you knew feelings - the avengers want you & peter to break up

sleeping - peter misinterprets a few important questions

the may to your ben - college!best friend!peter parker x stark!reader fluff

race ya - peter confesses his feelings for rogers!reader after a mission — on comms

frat bathrooms - stark!reader joins the avengers where she sees college!peter, the boy she slept with at a frat party

rainy days - reader doesn’t like rainy days, a certain wall-climber changes their mind

already got her - jealous!peter makes a public confession

flustered!peter

a nervous one - flustered!peter parker sees cheerleader!reader in her uniform

one day soon - flustered!peter parker x affectionate!reader

all better - flustered!peter parker does some lab flirting with reader

dad!peter + pregnant!reader

unplanned  [ part ii ] - reader gets pregnant... breaks up with peter to avoid it all

burrito wraps - reader worries that baby parker might be cold

a name to remember - latine!reader & peter give their girl a special name

you’re magic - a certain wall crawler hears two heartbeats

sgt. bucky barnes

first cuddles - bucky asks to cuddle for the first time

harry holland

golden light, the love of my life - the boys tease harry —on a live video— for being whipped

it won’t f^cking open - harry lends a helping hand

how much i - those three magical words are exchanged for the first time

cuddly koala moments - time the reader just needed harry’s warmth

anything for hands - the reader cuts harry’s hair on instagram live

your other best friend - the reader is sam’s new friend, but harry thinks they like tom instead

you’re my anchor - harry has an anxiety attack, but the reader knows what to do

what’s his [ pt ii ] - when everything thinks the reader should date tom instead, harry snaps

whipped fries - harry brags about the reader winning the pub quiz for them

tell me, show me - the reader makes harry flustered by playing w/the strings from his sweatpants

keep your cool - tom setting u up with his brother // nikki being wary

ag!reader

you’re such a dream to me — ag!reader writes r.e.m. about harry

harry styles

intoxicating - soft bubbles baths with long haired!harry 

frayed braids - reader braids long haired!harry’s hair

others:

harrison osterfield

not anymore - when harrison comes back from filming, he’s determed to win the reader’s heart

irreversible - when relationships fall apart, people fall apart. (infidelity)

circles before yourselves - rule #1  - harrison x osterfield!reader (sister) when brothers talk, bad things begin

think of her - harrison asks your family for their blessing [holland!sister]

steve harrington

together not never - steve discovers the reader is pregnant

[waitimcomingtoo]

Hii! Can you do a Tom Holland x reader where they do the buzzfeed video reading thirst tweets and Tom gets jealous of the tweets, fluff fluff fluff. 💞💞 THANK YOUU

I love this idea! I hope you like it

Thirsty

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warning: it’s thirsty tweets, so adult humor and crude comments

Masterlist

“Hi I’m Y/n L/n.” Tom said to the camera while sneaking at glance at you to see if you laughed.

“And I’m Tom Holland.” You bounced off his joke with a giggle. “And today, we’re going to be reading thirsty tweets.”

“The tweets aren’t thirsty, darling. It’s the people writing them.” Tom corrected you. He gave the camera a pointed look as you laughed at your mistake, already feeling giddy for the video.

“I’m sorry. Let’s start the video, shall we?” You asked as you picked a tweet out of the bucket. “I wonder how big Tom Holland’s- oh and this is Buzzfeed!” You suddenly remembered to credit the creators of the video. Everyone on set, including Tom burst out laughing. Tom plucked the tweet out of your hands.

“I think we’ve heard enough of the one.” Tom said as he tossed the paper over his shoulder.

“Take a two minute break. That’ll be our intro.” Someone from behind the camera called. You gave them a thumbs up and turned to Tom.

“Are you excited or nervous?” You asked him as your straighten the collar of his jacket. You’d made a habit of tidying up Tom since he had a habit of being disheveled.

“I try to always turn my nerves into excitement.” Tom told you. “But I’m a little nervous about what they’re going to say about you. You, being so hot and all.”

You laughed and tossed some of your straightened hair behind your shoulder.

“Oh, you know. I aim to please.” You replied. You were a little nervous yourself. You could only imagine what crazy things fans could’ve tweeted at your movie star boyfriend. He was definitely a fan favorite, and had a whole army of girls begging to be his. You’d just recently announced that you were together and this was your first video together as an official couple. So yeah, you were nervous.

Your break ended and you picked the first official tweet out of the bucket.

“Tom Holland is zaddy.” You read. It was a nice, calm way to start the video.

“That wasn’t bad.” Tom nodded. “Short and sweet.” He selected a tweet from the bucket.

“Y/n L/n looks a lot like my next girlfriend.” He read. He made a displeased face at the camera.

“I don’t know, mate. I heard she has a boyfriend. A really good looking one too.” Tom joked. You rolled your eyes as he took another tweet.

“Tom Holland is so fine. I think I rewatched the scene when Peters suit falls off a million times.” He read.

“Same girl.” You commented. You took the bucket from his hands and put your hand on the side of your mouth, whispering loudly, “it’s even better in person.”

“If I could only let one person bone me the rest of my life, it would be Y/n L/n.” You read out loud. Your eyes widened at the bold tweet.

“That escalated quickly.” You said. Tom didn’t look amused.

“She already has someone to do that, so.” Tom shrugged smugly and tossed the tweet aside.

“Thomas!” You smacked his arm and looked at the camera. “Do you see what I have to put up with? Let’s keep it PG, please.”

“@YOURNAMELASTNAME, girl, what you doing? Get your ass back in the Louvre where you belong.” You read.

“I liked that one.” Tom said with a nod of approval. “Because you are a work of art.”

You smiled at him and picked out another tweet.

“My sexuality is the veins in Tom Holland’s right arm.” You smacked your knee as you laughed. Tom just shook his head.

“I don’t even know what that means.” He remarked as he took a tweet.

“Y/n L/n, if you’re reading this, by all means, foreclose on my house. Destroy my credit score. Flood my basement. Ruin my life. I beg you.” He read dramatically. The lack of crudeness towards earned a chuckle from him.

“Aw that’s...sweet?” You said, sounding more like a question. You look a tweet from the bucket and cleared your throat.

“I would let 30-50 feral hogs trample over me if Tom Holland was the paramedic who transferred my corpse into the back of the ambulance.” Tom read. You burst out laughing until your stomach hurt.

“That was graphic.” You said between giggles. “And incredibly specific.”

“She wouldn’t really need an ambulance at that point though, would she?” Tom asked you, not ready to leave the topic yet.

“I’ve never been trampled by 30-50 wild hogs, so I wouldn’t know.” You replied. Tom gave you a cheeky grin.

“It’s feral hogs, love.” He teased. He had a way of forgetting cameras were there when you were around.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You said sarcastically as you took a tweet.

“Tom Holland is the only man who deserves rights.” You read and nodded in agreement. Tom did as well which made you laugh.

“I want Y/n L/n to use my face as a trampoline.” Tom read. He looked at the paper in his hands for a long time. “Now, why are mine so tame and yours are borderline insane?” He was beginning to find the tweets less and less funny. He didn’t like people tweeting about you in such vulgar ways, especially when they didn’t even know you.

“I guess my fans just really like me.” You shrugged and picked up another tweet. “I want Tom Holland to drive over me with his private jet.”

“It’s actually Sonys jet, but I appreciate the gesture.” Tom answered as he took a tweet out of the bucket. “My ideal weight is Y/n L/n on top of me.” Tom clicked his tongue, feeling a little twinge of anger in the pit of his stomach. “That’s unfortunate, since she’s a little busy being on top of me.”

You looked at the camera with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

“What did I say? PG!” You snatched the bucket from his hands and pretended to be angry. Tom knew he shouldn’t have said it, though be it true, but he just wanted to remind the people watching of your relationship. Tom took the bucket back from you and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I’m just letting the fans know who’s you are.” Tom replied with a cocky smile. “All mine.”

“I just wanna know how Y/n L/ns lips feel😔” He read. “And then they put a little sad face emoji.”

“Aw. You don’t have to be sad.” You told the camera.

“They feel amazing, by the way.” Tom quipped, giving the camera a cheeky wink. “But you’re never gonna know.”

“I want Tom Holland to use his jawline to cut me into fries.” You read. It made you chuckle again. You slid your finger across Toms jawline and smiled.

“Me too, baby, me too.” You said and picked out another one.

“This one is about you again. It says “Tom Holland walks into a room and his ass walks in 20 minutes later.” I have to agree.” You nodded. “Daddy thiccums.”

“Don’t start with that again, darling.” Tom groaned. Someone had commented that on his post the week prior and you wouldn’t let him live it down. You thought it was the funniest nickname in existence. Tom, of course, hated it, which is exactly why you snuck it into conversations every now and then.

“What? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, baby. If you got it, flaunt it.” You announced as you swiped some hair off his forehead. He felt a little hot to the touch. You noticed his jaw was clenched for the first time. If you weren’t being filmed, you’d have been all over him, asking if he was okay. You knew you had to bite your tongue until the interview was over.

“Y/n L/n can have it anytime she wants it.” You read off the paper.

“She doesn’t want it.” Tom deadpanned.

“Hey.” You laughed and took the tweet from his hand. “That’s mean.”

“Look at his profile picture. He looks like a foot.” Tom pointed to the tiny profile picture that could barley be seen on the paper.

“A foot?” You laughed and took another tweet from the bucket. There was definitely something off about Tom. You were sure of it now.

”Tom Holland’s ass is phat with a PH.” You read. You looked at the camera and wiggled your eyebrows.

“Again, completely true.” You agreed.

“Why are all of these about my butt?” Tom asked with a smile, but sounding genuinely confused.

“Maybe because you’re dummy thick.” You shrugged and took another tweet.

“Y/n in that dress at the Far From Home premiere? She walked in and said BAWDY. She said body-ody-ody.” You read from the paper.

“Stop.” You put your hand over your face in sudden embarrassment. “You’re too kind.”

“Are they wrong, though? I loved you in that black and red dress.” Tom commented and took one from the bucket.

“I had to show my man some support by wearing his colors. My man, being Spider-Man I mean. Not this loser.” You pointed you thumb at Tom.

“Hey.” He put his hand over his heart and pouted at you. “I am your man.”

“I know.” You presses a quick kiss to his still red cheeks. “I’m only teasing, lover.”

Tom looked satisfied with you answer and read his tweet.

“Not to be horny on main, but I want to hold Tom Holland’s hand.” He said. He immediately slipped his hand into yours and held them up for the camera.

“Sorry.” He said. “My hands are full.”

“@backseatL/N asks, has Y/n broken up with the Brit yet? I’m tryna know if I can shoot my shot or not.” You read. You wished you’d read it to yourself before reading it out loud. It was sure to get a rise out of Tom.

“She did not.” Tom looked directly into the camera. “So you can not.”

You could hear the tension in his voice. He was wavering from joking around to actually being serious. You squeezed his hand gently to let him know everything was alright. Tom seemed to appreciate the gesture and gave you a grateful smile.

“Sorry guys.” You said, your eyes never leaving Tom. “You know I love a London boy.”

Tom picked out a tweet that had a picture of himself at the Far From Home premiere attached.

“I would let Tom Holland break my legs. I don’t know why this photo made me realize that but it did.” He read. You took the paper in your own hands to examine the picture.

“Oh God.” You said. “Remember when you took me golfing for like our third date and you hit me in the leg with a golf ball?”

“I do.” Tom bit back a smile. “I can’t believe you let me take you on another date after that.”

He appeared to be in a better mood until you read the next tweet.

“Y/n is way too fine to be wasting her time with that toothpick. I could show her how a REAL man does it. Just wait, @YOURNAMELASTNAME, I’m coming for you. #tomhollandbetterprayup.”

You grimaced and crumpled the tweet up into a ball. Tom did not look happy and you were starting to see why.

“I think she’s been shown how a real man does it.” Tom said, trying to sound like he was kidding for the camera but not succeeding. You could tell he was throughly pissed off now and hoped the fans wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Yes I have.” You slammed your fist down like you were in court. “Real men hit you with golf balls and then laugh instead of getting you ice.”

Tom laughed at your joke so you kept going to pull him out of his sour mood. “Also, who are they calling toothpick?” You asked as you squeezed Toms bicep. “This thing feels like a ripe avocado.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” Tom said in his sassy voice. You pinched his cheek before taking out another tweet.

“The sun shines for Y/n L/n. It only shines on the rest of us out of pity. It belongs to her and only her.” You read. “Aw. That was really cute.” You said. “Thank you, @fistmetonystark.”

The username caught you off guard. Tom let out a loud laugh as your face went red in embarrassment.

“Okay.” You dragged out the word. “Moving on.”

“I’m just trying to take a bubble bath and watch Home Alone with Tom Holland. Is that to much to ask?” Tom read off a paper.

“In my opinion, that is a lot to ask.” You kidded.

“I think the bath would get cold by the time the movie ended.” Tom said in an attempt to apply logic to the absurd tweet.

“But in my experience, bubble baths with Tom Holland are fun.” You saluted the camera and Tom smiled at you. Your attempt to calm him down wasn’t going unnoticed by him.

“They’re fun until Y/n gets soap in your eyes.” He said to the camera.

“Let the record show that I got soap in his eye once.” You emphasized. “And it was only because I happened to sneeze.”

Tom grabbed the leg of your stool and pulled your chair closer to his. You rested your head on his shoulder as he read the next one.

“@thatswhatmakesyoubootyful says, who said Tom Holland was allowed to have such a juicy dumper? I want answers.” Tom read and you bent over in a fit of laughter. “I can’t believe I had to read that with my own two eyes.”

“JUICY DUMPER.” You screamed. The crew laughed in the background. Tom just shook his head, stifling a laugh.

“@YOURNAMELASTNAME, I just want to put a ring on your pretty little finger. Lord knows Holland won’t do it.” You read once you caught your breath. You wiped a tear from your eye, still to fully recovering from the last tweet. Tom, who was fully recovered, took offense to this one.

“Holland will do it.” He snapped, almost sounding angry. “Holland will most definitely do it, and you can quote me on that, @chokemeharry2011.”

You giggled at the username and picked a paper out of the bucket.

“I want Tom Holland to chop me up and feed me to Tessa.” You raised your eyebrows. “Please don’t. She’s fat enough.”

“Hey!” Tom took the bucket from your hands. “Don’t make fun of my baby.”

“Your fat baby.” You said under your breath.

“Petition for Y/n L/n to win an Oscar for acting like she’s actually in love with Tom Holland.” Tom read, looking completely unamused.

“It’s not acting, but I would like an Oscar.” You poked Toms side but he was busy looking up at the ceiling with an annoyed expression. You gulped you picked up a tweet.

“I want Tom Holland to beat me with a sack of wet mice.” This got Tom laughing again, which made you relived. There were only a few left and you prayed they were tame.

“You know what Tom Holland has that I don’t have? Y/n L/n.” You began to read. “You know what I have that Tom Holland doesn’t have? Lips.”

You crumpled that one up too and gave a fake laugh.

“That one wasn’t even funny.” You said, mostly to Tom. His scowl was back on his face.

“I want to be baptized in Tom Holland’s sweat.” You tried to lighten the mood by reading one for him. He let a little air out and gave a small smile. You moved one of your legs to go over his and left it there. He wasn’t blind to what you were doing and rested his hand on your leg while taking a tweet.

“*pulls up to McDonalds window* can I get uhhhhhhh…Y/n L/n’s hand in marriage?” He read. He had to laugh at that one.

“Aw.” You looked up at the camera with a happy smile. “That’s actually wholesome. Thanks @babydollY/N.” You blew a kiss.

“That was the last one.” Tom looked inside the bucket and to his relief, didn’t see any more.

“Well that was us reading thirst tweets.” You said into the camera. “I feel like I need a shower. Or 12.”

“I feel like you need to block half the people who sent those in.” Tom half joked.

“Well, thank you so much Buzzfeed for having us.”

“And go see our movie, Spider-Man Far From Home.” Tom opened his arms out to the camera before wrapping a protective arm around your shoulders.

The camera man gave you the thumbs up, meaning he’d stopped filming. You and Tom went through the rest of your interviews for that day and didn’t get home until late. Luckily, you were doing press in London so you could stay at home and not a hotel. Tom was still acting a little off during the interviews. He kept his hand on your leg for all of them, and was a little more affectionate than usual. You were pretty sure he had kissed your cheek or lips in every single video you shot that day. Sure, that was the kind of stuff fans and shippers lived for, but Tom had never been one for PDA. When you finally got home, you asked him about his behavior.

“What’s up with you today? Is everything alright?” You asked him when you came out of the bathroom to find him lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling. You took a seat next to him as he sat up.

“I’m not gonna lie, those tweets made me kind of jealous.” Tom confessed. He insecurely toyed with your fingers and didn’t make eye contact.

“Why?” You asked him. You pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles, making him look at you.

“Because I feel like the whole world wants my girl.” He said sadly.

“But to your girl, you’re the whole world.” You assured him, cupping his face in your hands. He gave you a small smile at your corny words.

“You have a way with words, don’t you L/n?” He said, cheering up a little. “And thank you for what you did in the interview. I could tell you were trying to calm me down. I was just overwhelmed by all the people pinning for you. It made me afraid I was going to lose you.” Tom admitted. You shook you head and kissed him gently.

“Don’t worry, lover. You’re not gonna lose me to @fistmesteverogers or @babydollY/N. My heart is all yours.” You told him.

“It was @fistmetonystark.” Tom corrected, looking glum again. You couldn’t help but giggle at the stupid username.

“Whoever it was, it doesn’t matter. People can tweet me whatever they want. You’re the only one I have notifications on for, baby.” You said, trying to keep the conversation light to show Tom how he had nothing to worry about.

“Don’t you have notifications on for John Mulaney?” Tom asked, a smile finally poking through.

“Shhh.” You held a delicate finger to his lips and he laughed. “That’s not important. What’s important is I’m yours and you’re mine and no thirsty tweet could ever change that.”

“It’s not the tweets that are thirsty, it’s the people.” Tom reiterated.

“Well, let them be thirsty.” You declared, still in a joking manner. “The only thirst I’m ever gonna quench is yours.”

“Y/nnnn.” Tom whined and buried his face in your neck. You felt his hot breath on your collar bones. “I’m being serious. I don’t like people thinking about you that way. There are million of boys and girls out there who want to be run over with trucks or hit with a shovel just to be in the same room as you. How can I compete?” Tom asked, the bad feelings sinking in again.

“You can’t.” You shrugged, causing Tom to look at you quizzically. “Because there’s no competition.” You finished. Tom smiled a little as you used your pinky to tilt his face towards yours. “ Tommy, I love you. I’m never gonna love anybody else. So you can be jealous over those tweets but, it’s a waste of your time. Time that could be spent giving me love and affection.”

“You know I can’t resist love and affection.” Tom said with a happy smile. You’d finally pulled him out of his slump.

“Then stop thinking about those dumb tweets and kiss me.” You ordered.

Tom obeyed and pulled you in for a long and deep kiss. He held you close to him, even when you pulled away.

“Y/n?” Tom asked softly, sounding serious all of the sudden. You wonder if all the marriage talk in the video prompted him to ask you a certain question. You didn’t let your smile poke through and kept a calm look on your face.

“Yes?” You answered sweetly. Tom took your face in his hands and stared you deeply in your eyes. You peered back at his gentle brown eyes with all the love in the world. Tom took a deep breath, looked at the floor, and then at you.

“I want you to use my face as a trampoline.” He said finally, quoting the tweet from earlier. You smacked his hands off your face and punched him (with love) in the arm.

“You’re impossible.” You grumbled, feeling like an idiot for getting your hopes up. He, on the other hand, was dying with laughter.

“I am not impossible. I was in a movie called The Impossible, so that may be where you’re getting confused.” He teased. You’d had enough of his humor and got off the bed to walk away. “Come back! I need you to foreclose on my house.”

“Leave me alone, pervert.” You laughed, pushing him away as he tried to pull you back.

“Please? I just want you to flood my basement.” Tom continued to quote the tweets and pulled you into a hug, resting his chin on top of your head. Normally it’d be a sweet gesture, but he was pushing your buttons.

“No thanks.” You answered, giving in to the hug.

“Is it because I don’t have lips?” Tom asked. You groaned loudly and pulled yourself out of his embrace before he could see you smiling.

“I think I just heard a ribbit coming from your mouth.” You called as you walked away.

“Don’t go.” He grabbed your hands and pulled you back towards him. “I just want to know how your lips feel.”

“Two can play this game,” you lowered your voice to a grave tone, “daddy thiccums.”

“Okay.” Tom held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll stop. Just please, never say those words again.”

“I won’t.” You promised. You crossed your heart with your fingers. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a baddie with a fatty.”

“If you keep that up, Holland won’t put a ring on it.” Tom wagged his finger at you, giving in to the joke that made him upset earlier in the day.

“Well I simply can’t have that.” You said in a much calmer tone as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Tom rested his thick arms around your waist and held you flushed against him, pulling a little gasp from your throat.

“I can’t have that either.” Tom said lowly, a gleam of adoration in his tired brown eyes. “Can we just put today behind us and go to sleep?”

Tom picked you up bridal style before you could give him and answer. He placed you gently on the bed, both of you already having brushed your teeth, and climbed in next to you.

“Goodnight, lover of mine.” Tom yawned. He pressed a kiss to your lips before flopping onto his pillow.

“Goodnight...” You said mischievously.

“Don’t say it.” Tom warned in a tired voice.

“Da-“

You were instantly hit with a pillow.

“I told you not to say it.” Tom said, unable to hide his laughter.

“You’re right.” You said sincerely. “I’m sorry.”

You cuddled into Toms side and laid your head on his heartbeat. He rubbed lazy circles into your back and leaned his chin into your hair.

“But @chokemeharry2011 would never treat me this way.” You said quickly.

And thus, you were hit with another pillow.

[locktobre]

I think a lot about the Summers family and hair, actually

bc like. ok, there’s Merliah. her hair randomly turns pink in the middle of a surf meet, but she could probably pass that off as some kind of like... idk, stunt? for attention? the announcer certainly noticed. so that’s fine, whatever, that’s just how her hair is now and wow she must be dedicated dyeing it bc you never see her roots, but fine. pink hair streaks now, that’s Merliah for you.

but then... you meet her mom. (wait, wasn’t her mom dead? not anymore, I guess? ok.) and her mom also has streaks in her hair, which is... odd. probably not odd enough to comment on, but they dye their hair in matching ways. bonding, I guess? she’s also very dedicated, again, no roots at all. it seems impossible they could both keep their hair so perfect but whatever. if anyone cared to ask, Calissa would probably just say she thinks it looks nice, which she does, she just declines to mention that she didn’t actually choose it.

where it gets really weird I think would be fast forwarding to the future, to Rillian and Roxana. after their 16th birthday, they show up with streaked hair, and haha yeah it’s just something we did on our birthday. but... don’t their mom and sister also have streaked hair like that? and have for like, years at this point bc there’s bound to be crossover between ppl Merliah knew, whether as siblings or maybe even parents of ppl in Rillian and Roxana’s classes. and now... Rillian and Roxana, too? is it just a weird thing the family does? but Rip doesn’t do it, Break doesn’t do it, Kylie doesn’t do it. what is UP with this family??? why are they all like this?

I think Odie would be the breaking point, and I mean ppl would probably ask before (would have asked everyone before), but they would probably just be brushed off with non-answers. but I think Odie’s 16th is far enough in the future (2034) that he might just say “it’s bc I’m a mermaid.” and I feel like the knee-jerk reaction would naturally be like lmao right of course you are but then he just doesn’t say anything else and the person is left thinking about how it’s Calissa and her children with the weird streaks and how the family is full of swimmers and surfers and they live on the beach and it’s like wait... wait a fucking minute,

[chappedandfadedvds]

Dec 29th, Monday 13:51

„We really need to stick to the list this time.“

They had just reached the supermarket in the nearest city, parking the car in a free spot that wasn’t completely snowed in, when Robbe had made that joke. Sander and Jens were both grinning as they collected their jackets to get out.

„Okay? But why wouldn’t we?“ Lucas asked puzzled at the dumb reference, as he handed Jens his gloves he had hold onto for the drive. 

„So last year at our fall-break trip together, Robbe and me sort of didn’t bother to buy a single thing that Amber had asked for.“ 

The grin on Sander’ face almost grew into an expression of cocky proudness. Though it really didn’t helped to clear any confusion of the younger boy in the passenger seat, who followed to step out of the car as well.

„And she was fucking pissed, dude.“ Jens accused, not even trying to hide his amusement away. Even though the girl had been absolutely livid, as she had expected the shopping they had done. Sander had just shrugged it off back then. „She had to go herself later again. I think Aaron and Moyo went with her, not on their free will though.“

„But why?“

Jens had just double checked the driver’s door to be locked, before he turned to face Sander to give an answer. Jens had actually never really asked. He knew Robbe had went with him and that they had gotten to know each other. There was something with a song playing as well, but Jens had forgotten which one, or why it had been important in the first place.

„Well, I, uh, had a certain boy to impress.“ Sander said and it was quite fascinating to see the oldest of them to loose a bit of his cool composure and grow a bit shy instead.

„I assume it had worked?“ Lucas only replied, smiling brightly from Sander to Robbe, who simply nodded, as they still somehow hadn’t moved from their spot on the parking lot.

„Oh definitely. He completely succumbed to my charms.“ 

Ah there it was again. Sander apparently had only slipped briefly, when a smirk graced his lips and he leaned towards his boyfriend to place a kiss on his forehead. Robbe rolled his eyes at that, but didn’t deny the allegation even in the slightest. 

„Adorable. Is that actually the first time you met? You said something about a grocery store.“

Right. Jens almost had actually forgotten that Lucas had come out early on to his two friends and that they apparently had talked hours about their experiences. Jens guessed he knew probably more about their relationship then him. Odd, when Robbe was his best friend.

„The first time Robbe saw me at least.“ Sander wiggled his brows, very much cheery over that fact. „I may or may not have seen him before, when he was with Noor.“

So maybe Jens had been wrong. Lucas certainly didn’t looked like he knew about what had happened before the two boys got together. Neither had Jens talked a lot about that time. It had been so long ago and it felt like a completely different life at that point. There was a little pause between the name dropping and him continuing to explain.

„And then there was Brit of course, who I asked about Noor and Robbe, as she was her closest friend and I obviously had seen her next to him.“

„Sorry, Brit? Who is that.“

It only now dawned on Jens that Sander actually had also been with Brit, for months at that. Which made him acknowledge some other truths about them having been with the same girl. So first of all, ugh. And second of all, how had this never occured to him before? Well, this realisation was absolutely something he’d rather see reburied very very deep in the furthest corner of his brain. Because. No. No. Nonono.

Sander too seemed to have briefly been come to a similar conclusion, as his eyes darted in horror over to Jens, before he cleared his throat and went on.

„That’s a bit complicated.“

Yes, very helpful, Jens thought, as they finally got moving.

„She is, as already mentioned, a good friend of Noor’s and actually goes to our school.“ Jens began, gladly accepting the hand Lucas reached out to him.

„Really? Why haven’t I met her, if you all know her?“ The dutch boy definitely was on a curiousity spree today. Jens guessed they wouldn’t have much luck to ignore this conversation from happening.

„Brit isn’t really part of our group. Like we are alright to give the occasional nod and hello in passing, but since Sander and Robbe became a thing, she kinda had enough of us.“ Jens managed to awkwardly proclaim, very unsure how to word it all. „A bit of a sore spot for Brit with Noor as well, as she still is close to them and us in general. You know that she attends our meetings and is in the group chat and so on.“

„Okay? Couldn’t be more cryptic, huh?“ Lucas teased with a grin on his lips, despite him being left to press on to get his answers. At least someone was having fun here. Jens hated to have to be reminded of it all. It was messy at best.

„So I knew Brit first. We got along really well since we both were in the same class in our first year of secondary school and became a couple for eight or nine months when we were 15, if I remember that right.“ He trailed off their at the end, uncertainty strong in his voice, as he tried to get the timeline right.

„I don’t care if she is your ex, Jens.“

„Well, the thing is that Jana was her best friend for years and therefore we spend a lot of time together as well. The three of us, I mean. Often with Robbe there as well. Only that the last three weeks of our relationship I cheated on Brit with Jana.“

Lucas stopped in his tracks, pulling Jens to a halt while at it. Sander and Robbe quick to join them. They only had reached the entrance to the supermarket so far. This would take forever, if it continued on like this.

„For real? That’s awful.“

„I know. I. I don’t.“ Jens stumbled over his own words. He really didn’t wanted Lucas to think bad of him. He especially didn’t wanted his boyfriend to loose trust in him. It had destroyed his relationship with Jana. It was probably the same reason Jens hadn’t yet let Lucas in on that part of his life. „Uhm, so then I was with Jana for a bit. And we probably could have tried harder, but as everyone knows that hadn’t worked out quite great in the end. Brit in the meantime had met Noor somehow and found a new boyfriend.“

„Who was me.“ Sander confided sheepishly, while he raised his hand, his head ducked low next to Robbe. Jens could never tell if the older boy was actually rueful. He never seemed to have been too invested with Brit anyway. But it was only a guess on his part. The only time he had seen them as a couple had been on their trip to the sea.

„Oh no.“ 

Lucas finally seemed to connect some dots. His mouth hung open, as he regarded every single one of the three boys infront of him. He still hold Jens’s hand. So that was a good sign, right?

„Yup.“ Jens popped the p, slowly collecting his thoughts to bring this topic to an end. It got cold, and they really should get going. „So Sander here kinda cheated on her with Robbe, who to his credit did actually broke it off with Noor a bit earlier. And well, Brit isn’t therefore really fond of sticking around so much, you know.“

„Wow. You are assholes.“ Lucas stated rather dull, yet not without huffing an unamused laugh. „Like okay, my best friend kinda did something similar. Stuff happens. Sucks, but okay. But that poor girl. Twice?“ A unison of nods followed from all of them that had been involved. „Also, first her boyfriend and her best friend. And then her boyfriend with the bestfriend of her ex? I mean. Fuck.“

„Yea, that sums it up quite nicely.“ Robbe quietly agreed.

„Good god.“

„We know.“ Sander confirmed, before they fell into silence. Each of them wallowing in their own thoughts for a little while, before they startled at Robbe’s phone notifying him of a new text.

„Uh, I think we really should head inside, guys. Amber is asking me yet again how long we will need. She also put three exclamation marks after telling us to get everything on the list.“ Robbe summed up, while he presented his phone screen to the little group to read for themselves. Amber definitely wasn’t leaving it to chance. Jens also had to promise to keep check on the other two boys.

Therefore they all finally entered the supermarket, grabbing one of the shopping carts, while Sander read the list outloud for everyone to figure out where to start. It was a long list. But fortunately the warmth already made him feel better.

Lucas came up next to him, when he pushed the cart between the aisles filled to the brim with vegetables and fruits. Sander and Robbe busy to argue what type of tomates they needed.

„I can’t believe you did that.“ His boyfriend said, without any animousity. Instead he shook his head smiling, as he breathed a kiss on Jens’s cheek, before he stepped slightly aside, to grab a bundle of carrots.

„I told you, I was an ass back then.“

„Agreed.“ Lucas affirmed and Jens nodded in turn, busy remembering if Amber had said red or yellow onions. „I’m really glad I got to know you now, though. Honestly.“

__ __ __ tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

[youreamonocoque]

hi, just got into cricket very thankful that ive had the weekend off and tomorrow to enjoy this test. I did notice that there are two eng cricket captains root and morgan i know ones test and ones ODI just wondering whys there's two as i know root plays ODIs as well as test. Also what do you like about both captains? ta x

Good question and I’m very happy that you’ve got tomorrow to enjoy an england win, hopefully! We have two captains to manage workload. It also helps to have Eoin as the ODI captain because that’s all he plays so arguably it can be stated he understands that format better than Joe does. Joe plays ODIs as well but if we want to rest him for a series (which we often do especially for T20 series) then we have a stable captain in Eoin that can just carry on. It also just gives Joe a rest from captaincy. (hope that explains it!) 

What do I like about both captains? Hmm. Eoin’s been captain longer than Joe has but I guess what I like about him most is how calm he is, he’s the calmest man on the pitch, even if things are going badly he’s very level headed and doesn’t get ahead of himself. He’s incredibly knowledgeable about the game, he reads the match situation very well as you have to in ODIs. He’s also a great manager of players, I don’t think I’ve seen a player speak badly about him ever. He knows when a player needs some encouragement and when to just leave them too it. 

Onto Joe, Joe’s only been captain since 2017 (i say only like it hasn’t been 3 years, how’s that flown by so fast?) and I like him as captain. There’s been plenty of people saying that he shouldn’t captain but in my view he 100% should be. What do I like about him? Similar to Eoin he’s a brilliant reader of the game and isn’t too afraid to take risks or get another over out of a bowler if he thinks it’ll bring about a wicket situation. He’s pretty calm, maybe not as calm as Eoin but still fairly calm. He can always find a positive from a game and will defend his players to the last to the media and is very open with the media. Both him and Eoin have been great with the media and the fans it’s great. 

I just like their styles of captaincy. There’s nothing shouty or over the top about it. They’re both calm, collected and understated with their captaincy, just quiet brilliance. I think occasionally Joe can get a bit carried away with reviews when England get going but he’s getting better (having said that he burnt our reviews quickly earlier on but that doesn’t seem to have mattered so much lol). I think the best thing about Joe is that this is now very much his team. Whereas I think from 2017 and into the summer of 2019 it was a team in transition but we’ve now got lots of young players, finally found some openers, finally got a set batting order and it’s becoming his team. So Joe’s only going to get better as captain which is brilliant. Eoin’s probably not going to continue for much longer in International cricket which is a shame but he’s at least going to captain us through the T20 World Cup, after that I don’t know. But it’ll probably be Jos who takes over and that is a very nice thought. 

(Hope that answers all your questions Anon, I did waffle on a bit but there we go. I love this sport a lot. Enjoy tomorrow!) 

EDIT: I said Joe gets carried away, he doesn’t normally, usually he’s very safe with reviews. He’s only had two bad reviews that I can remember, one being today and one being against Pakistan a few years back. He’s a very good captain and I love him a lot. Sorry Joe, didn’t mean to be so harsh!

[khalilhumam]

Economics & Marginalia: December 11, 2020

New Post has been published on http://khalilhumam.com/economics-marginalia-december-11-2020/

Economics & Marginalia: December 11, 2020

Hi all, There’s an oft-quoted line in the classic 1995 mystery/heist/Benicio Del Toro mumbling movie The Usual Suspect: “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” I was thinking about that today. With Brexit lurking around the corner like Keyser Soze, it’s marked primarily by the many guises it’s worn since 52 percent of the population voted for… something, not quite defined. We’ve gone from “of course we won’t leave the single market” to “we’ll do a trade deal over a cup of coffee” to “no deal is going to be wonderful” (if you’re Boris Johnson) or “we’ll survive” (if you’re Oliver Dowden) to this, if you’re me. How did that happen with so little fanfare? One of the most damaging things about 2020 for the UK has been the way Covid so dominated the public attention that it completely distracted us from the Brexit negotiations. Would a clearer, less fatigued public mind have put more pressure on the Government to achieve a deal? Perhaps not: I’ve been predicting no deal since 2016, but my goodness if it comes to pass we’ll be wondering about it in a few years’ time. One of my friends exports goods to the UK, and he’s describing a state of absolute panic among the people moving his goods in the UK. Fun and games for 2021.

Ok, so the intro was about as much fun as a smack in the face with a roll of quarters, but I’ll make it up to you. This interview with Michael Clemens is absolutely brilliant, and I cannot recommend it enough. In fact, if you’re short of time, just open it and ignore the rest of the links. Michael is given a proper grilling here, but answers every questions with such clarity, exposing logical and moral fallacies in the arguments around immigration while also drawing on a huge range of evidence to explain why so many stated positions about migration are drawn from faulty logical foundations and how they can be tested (and disproved) by evidence. What I liked most about the interview, though, was how Michael was able to discuss not just the fine details of US migration law, but also their genesis (as he puts it, it is of the “here’s a number I pulled from where the sun don’t shine” school of policymaking) and how different kinds of policies might offer a partial improvement–and what problems they won’t resolve. He ends on a note that is a little pessimistic and a little optimistic, quoting the classicist Jeremy McInerney: “Wisdom only comes through suffering”, which may turn out to be our verdict on Brexit, too. Bonus: a VoxEU write-up on the importance of migrants as key workers in Europe. Spoiler: it’s huge.

Andrew Gelman and Aki Vehtari have a new paper out summarising what they think the most important statistical ideas of the last 50 years have been. It’s readable, fun and a super introduction to ideas that you should probably understand better than you do–I certainly should.

It’s a great week when we get new content from both Michael and Dietz Vollrath, so take advantage of it. Dietz digs into the decline in TFP in the US, commonly thought to be a phenomenon of the last decade or two. It isn’t. TFP jumps around, and has periods both above and below trend since the 1960s, but if you took the trend from then and used it to guess productivity today, you’d be about right. It gets really interesting when he starts discussing what these findings mean for his explanations of US economic performance. Worth reading in full, including his suggestion that the brilliance of Innervisions may have led some people to the milk and honey land, where all men feel they’re truly free at last. Stevie Wonder caused the slowdown, everyone (which also explains how bad some of the later albums were).

Hugo Slim at BSG has written an excellent blog at ODI arguing for a complete restructuring of global humanitarian operations, based around platforms built on local partnerships and delivery structures. It’s excellent, and makes the point that vaccine rollout platforms offer an opportunity to move outside the established, and sclerotic, humanitarian delivery models we’ve been reliant on to date, and can be used for future priorities, including social protection. In a similar vein my colleagues Jeremy Kondynyk and Patrick Saez argue for reform to the system here.

Josh Angrist, David Autor and Amanda Pallais have a write-up of their new paper out about the use of financial aid to support college students; what makes it cool is not just that it’s every bit as careful and well-done as you’d expect from them, but they conclude with a proper discussion of the cost-benefit ratio of the intervention. They–correctly–argue that scholarships in the context they measure them are largely transfers, and this has profound implications for how cost effective the intervention is; it would look even better if they explicitly weighted the worst off students more highly. I love teaching CBA because there’s a lot more economics in the conceptualisation of it than there is the summing up of numbers, as they recognise.

If you’re like me, you lost a few hours to reading the Lancet write-up of the early Astra-Zeneca results (they make me more, not less, optimistic about the vaccine) and the FDA summary of the Pfizer vaccine data. But if you want a summary of the former, this Science piece is good; even better is Karleigh Rogers on the difficulties of getting people to complete their vaccination course, and how to overcome them (she missed a trick not citing Anna Karing, though).

And lastly, I know some of you argue that economics is divorced from the real issues that matter to people. Some of us have heard you: Stephanie Karol, for example has a new paper out modelling how households make decisions when cats are present: obviously, the finding is that cats rule the household. And another paper sets out–with examples–how to teach economics using K-Pop; as much as Blackpink might offer something here, nothing summarises the economics of conspicuous consumption like Aaye Laariye (and–even better, it turns out that Sheheryar Banuri’s sister Wajiha Navqi has an–amazing–Coke Studios song out this season!). And on that happy note…

Have a great weekend, everyone! R

[newtothewaywardparty]

Love Interruption 4

So, I accidentally wrote another Sam chapter. The thing is, he’s a better exposition monkey and also maybe I’m in love with Odie a little bit. Why do you keep talking about my shoulders? LOL, we are all Velma. ANYWAY here’s a long chapter and the next one has Destiel FEELINGS and AWKWARD SILENCES and GROUP THERAPY so if that’s your jam please keep reading I love you all like Sam loves books.

Sam awoke to the sound of the surf. He sighed deeply and raised his head off his pillow on the floor palette Odie had fixed him up in her small living area directly off her kitchen. After ducking in the bathroom, he investigated the tiny cabin looking for her, but it was empty. He helped himself to a bowl of the sweetened coconut rice pudding-type dish he found on the stovetop. Grabbing a mango from a bowl in the center of the metal folding table and a knife, he made his way outside.

He scored a mango half into edible cubes, which clung to the thin green skin until he chewed them off, their sweet juice dribbling down his chin. Odie strode confidently up the beach carrying her surfboard, water droplets on her skin and hair catching the morning sun. She gave Sam a grin that was all white teeth and a big wave with her free hand. Sam waved back and tried not to notice the way her board shorts hugged her strong thighs or the way her yellow bikini top set off her radiant skin.

Sam ducked his head until she was close enough to call to him over the morning waves. “Do all American hunters go to the beach in jeans and boots?” Odie propped her surfboard in its spot along the cabin wall and grabbed a towel from the clothesline.

Sam chuckled self-deprecatingly. “Don’t have many other duds, I guess. This is our first beach trip in a while.” Or ever, he thought. “Plus,” He tapped his boots together firmly where they sat at the end of his crossed legs in the hammock. “It’s sort of our all-purpose uniform. Protect the feet, the skin, layers for different temperatures.” His smile fell a bit. Their lives were not like normal people’s. Sam had a tendency to make himself sad. The downside of being smart, he guessed.

Odie pulled on a graphic tee and gave him a knowing look. “It’s the same here, but you need clothes that won’t get in the way. Loose, sweat-wicking so you don’t dehydrate. Light colors to reflect heat. Flip flops can be lost in a hurry. Sport sandals are better for the jungle.” She jerked her head toward the beach. “Good luck running something down in the sand in those huge clodhoppers.”

Sam made as if he was actually willing to haul himself out of the hammock. “Wanna race? Put your money where your mouth is?”

Odie swatted him with the towel. “I’d hate to humiliate you on your first day. Besides, we have work to do.”

They set up research headquarters at her kitchen table. Odie boasted a premium wifi connection one of her hunter network friends had spliced off the line running to the Stone Jaguar resort where Cas and Dean were staying.

“So, these couples all checked into the resort, and then disappeared on the last day of the couples’ retreat.” Sam summarized. Odie nodded, indicating the proto-murderboard she had rigged up, complete with photos of the couples, their names, and details of their cases underneath it.

“We already had our hunters work with local law enforcement but they’re worthless.” sighed Odie. “They all think the couples were mixed up in drug business in town or kidnapped by Guatamalans near the border.” She tossed her hair disdainfully. “Both theories are ridiculous, of course, but they are eager to write them off because nobody in this part of the country wants to hurt tourism.”

Sam nodded. Made sense, and reminded him of plenty of cases he had worked before. People were pretty much the same everywhere. Willing to turn a blind eye as long as it didn’t affect the status quo.

Odie stood, putting her hands on her hips, pacing in front of the posterboard she had tacked to her kitchen wall. “We also tried interviewing resort employees. They didn’t have any further details. The couples went to the retreat’s final ceremony-a graduation kind of thing. They returned to their rooms, and nobody ever saw them again after that.”

Sam sat back, clicking his pen. “Run through them for me again.” They had been through all of this online already, when he had agreed to come down. A former acquaintance of Eileen’s based in Mexico had connected them. Sam felt a pang at the memory of the brunette hunter, with her sass and bravery and great smile…

“Four couples with no connection I can find. Two in their 50s, one in their 20s, and one in their 30s. One from New York City, one from Sydney, one from rural Alabama, and one from a small town in Northern England. One white couple, one Asian couple, and two mixed-race couples. Three hetero, one same-sex. Two had children; two didn’t.” Odie blew air through her lips in frustration. “It must be opportunity rather than profile.”

Sam agreed, typing on his laptop rapidly. “And the reason we think it’s something supernatural is…” He trailed off. This had been a sensitive topic online. If he was being entirely honest, he didn’t think there was a case here. Maybe the local police were right. Just missing couples in a developing area with higher-than-usual crime.

If he was really willing to look honesty in the face, he’d admit he only agreed to the case to get some beach time and possibly, maybe, just a little part of him wanted to get his brother and Castiel into a couples’ retreat. But Sam was not on trial here.

Odie immediately bristled. “We’ve been over this. It’s too clean. Too neat for humans.” All the couples were found missing the morning they were to check out. Their rooms were undisturbed and locked. All luggage, valuables, and passports remained in place. Nobody saw or heard anything in the night or the morning. No bodies were ever found. They simply vanished.

Sam held a hand out, placating.  “Okay. I believe you.” He didn’t, but Sam was good at talking people down. With patience borne of years dealing with jittery victims and his histrionic brother, he changed tack. “Who are the usual suspects in these parts? Vampires? Werewolves? Ghosts? Shifters?”

Odie gave a weird half shrug. “Yes. And no.” I’ve hunted all of those, but what we get here is a little different. After all, our folklore and indigenous gods are different than what you find in middle America.”

Sam raised his hands over his keyboard again, eager. “Okay, well, I’m okay in Spanish, too. What should I look up? Aztec or Inca?” Odie was silent long enough that Sam looked up to confirm she had heard him. She was doubled over, laughing so hard she wasn’t capable of making sound. She drew in a deep breath and schooled her features.

“Well,” she began in the prim tones of a schoolmarm. “Begin by researching all the lore from Mayan/Mestizo peoples whose cultures were indigenous here. Then add in all the French/Creole traditions of the Garifuna people, those descended from shipwrecks of enslaved Africans bound for the West Indies. Don’t forget the British Hondurans. Then of course the British colonizers themselves. In recent generations the Amish with German-descended lore can be found in many of our farming areas, and our cities are full of Chinese immigrants with their myriad religions.”

Sam pushed back from the table. He realized, of course, how reductive he had been, but he was also frustrated. How would they even begin to pinpoint what they were dealing with here?

He looked up at Odie who was watching him with less mirth now and more wariness. “I’m sorry. That was incredibly stupid. You obviously have been over all of this already, and know more than I even will about your community. What do you need from me? How can I help?”

Odie’s brown eyes measured him, assessing. “First,” she walked over and shut the lid of his laptop with a ‘click.’ “The answer’s not going to be online.” She leaned over him and quirked an eyebrow. “And due to the largely oral culture here, it’s not going to be in one of your books.” She pushed one of the tomes Sam had crammed into his carry-on away from him on the table.

She flopped into a chair next to Sam, sighing. “The reason I wanted a second set of eyes-experienced eyes-” here she cut her gaze to Sam who shifted, uncomfortably. The Winchester brothers were becoming somewhat of elder statesmen as far as hunters were concerned. “-is because I can’t figure it out. It’s…” she pressed her knuckles to her lips, and her gaze fell on a small framed photo on the opposite wall. “It’s not the first case that’s been unsolved here.”

Sam followed her eye line to the photo. A small girl with chubby cheeks and arms clung to a woman in a long skirt with armfuls of jewelry and a long, dark braid. A man with a beard and kind eyes had his arm around her, gazing at the girl adoringly. “Your parents?” Sam nodded towards the picture. They had talked about it a bit online. Hunters were often orphans.

Odie’s lips hardened into a line. She took a deep breath as though to begin a story, then stood abruptly. “I need a drink” she announced, grabbing a worn denim jacket from the hook by the door. She opened the door, then paused with her hand on the handle. “You coming?” She didn’t look behind her. Sam didn’t reply. He just walked past her into the warm night, resplendently clear with a beautiful three-quarter moon.

[vsplusonline]

MS Dhoni's career graph went going up and mine down but friendship remained intact: RP Singh

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/ms-dhonis-career-graph-went-going-up-and-mine-down-but-friendship-remained-intact-rp-singh/

MS Dhoni's career graph went going up and mine down but friendship remained intact: RP Singh

Former India pacer RP Singh told that he himself wonders what happened to his career and how he lost his place from the all the formats of the game.

MS Dhoni and RP Singh (Instagram Image)

HIGHLIGHTS

Selectors never told my the reason why I was dropped: RP Singh

Dhoni had told the ‘luck’ factor may be against me: RP Singh

RP Singh was 2nd highest wicket-taker in inaugural T20 World Cup

India’s T20 World Cup-winning pacer RP Singh, who was once seen as the bright replacement of legendary left-arm pacer Zaheer Khan, has revealed that he himself had no answer as in why his career was cut short early.

While in a conversation with former India opener Aakash Chopra, the UP-born left-arm pacer also opened up on his friendship with wicketkeeper batsman MS Dhoni.

RP Singh said that he and Dhoni had met even before they were selected to play for India.

“We used to spend time together, then he became captain and his graph went going up and mine down. But our friendship is intact and we still talk and roam around together. In cricketing matters we have different opinions.”

RP Singh also revealed that he asks Dhoni about what could he have done to be a better cricketer.

“I didn’t get that answer. Dhoni told that ‘yes you are working hard but may be it’s about the luck’,” RP Singh said, adding that he agreed with latter’s answer.

Singh was the second-highest wicket-taker in the inaugural T20 World Cup but he could play only 3 T20 internationals after that.

The Test and ODI career also didn’t flourish as much and ended on 14 and 58 matches, respectively.

When asked what was it that led to a sudden turn in his very promising-looking career, RP Singh said he himself don’t have the answer.

“I was at the top, performance wise but neither could I save my place in Tests or ODIs. I played IPL and I guess I was one of the highest wicket-taker in 3 or 4 seasons but didn’t get to play matches may because the captain did not have trust in me or may be my performance had really downgraded.”

“The selectors never gave me that answer even after I asked and they just told me ‘keep working hard your time will come’ (raaje tu mehnat kar tera waqt jarur aaega)”, RP Singh said.

RP Singh, 34, announced his retirement from international cricket in 2018.

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[findingfeathersseanchaidh]

Chapter 75: A Time to Work  

"What are you doing?" Sara's voice rang out across the office like a bell, making Rip jump and turn his back on the document he was looking over.

"Nothing that can't wait," he snapped, closing the file behind him with one hand and moving a nearby book on top of it. "Must you always sneak up on people?"

Sara's jaw tightened. "You called us to the bridge," she pointed out. "Even Mick's here already!"

Rip's eyes narrowed. He had ordered the crew to assemble. They had another mission. One Luke had called through with just over an hour ago. He had been looking over some of the details when Sara had interrupted him. Details he would not be sharing with the rest of the group. Not entirely. He bowed his head and gestured towards the door. "Well then."

The crew had indeed assembled in the time he had been lost in his thoughts up in the lofty heights of his office, all of three steps above the bridge. As predicted, the scientists of the group had already begun theorising about the blue, holographic form floating in the centre of the room. Martin was listening to Jesse with a deference that was already putting Ray in a black mood, and Matthew and Jax were discussing what appeared to be the power source of the construction. Meanwhile, Snart was sitting back totally at ease, as if he owned the ship, waiting patiently. Mick hovered impatiently behind him and Amaya was watching him like a leopard watches an intruder to its territory. Sara, arms folded and back to the lot of them, was watching Rip.

"Thank you all for gathering so swiftly," Rip began, pressing his palms together. "My apologies for the delay. The device some of you are already looking at is of Time Master origin. It is a time dilation device originally designed for the purpose of creating small bubbles of land that are, essentially, outside of time. It slows the progress of time there so much that a thousand years could pass outside it between the tick and the tock of a timepiece. Once the bubble is in place, only a timeship can enter or leave it. The device also throws up a holographic shielding, so that, from the outside, it merely looks like an untended farmhouse or forest. The shielding itself emits a frequency that discourages wildlife, and humans, from attempting to enter the bubble on foot. Anything not discouraged soon finds itself rebounding from the shields in any case. This is entirely for their benefit. The temporal stress on any living thing attempting to pass into or out of a time bubble without a timeship would stretch its molecules out across a millennium. Not a pleasant, or a fast, way to die. The same applies to any living thing attempting to leave the bubble without appropriate transport."

"Fascinating," opined Martin. "But why are we looking at this device?"

"Time dilation devices were used to create the old Time Master outposts, some of which you yourself have visited," explained Rip. "You may recall the outpost where we met the Pilgrim to retrieve Mister Jackson senior and your other loved ones. In fact my Mother's house is in another such bubble also."

"That doesn't answer the old man's question, Hunter" purred Snart.

"Yeah," growled Mick, shifting his arms tighter around himself.

Martin glanced over at Snart and Mick. "I'll have you know, chronologically, I'm younger than both of you!"

Mick chuckled. Snart merely smirked and turned his eyes back to Rip. "Well?"

"Well, I was getting to that, before I was interrupted," grumbled the Captain. "Captain Johnson sent me word that one of the outposts, an unused one, had been dismantled. The time dilation device that maintained it had been removed. Stolen, he believes, by our enemies."

"Yeah, what are we calling these guys?" Snart interjected once more. "Time Pirates? Time Masters? Sounds like you've got an equal mix of both. Pirate Masters? Master Pirates? I quite like the latter."

"So far, merely calling them the enemy, or the bad guys, has been sufficient," replied Rip through gritted teeth. "We are charged with tracking down the device and returning it to the Vanishing Point, where it cannot be used."

Sara cut in with the obvious question before Leonard could manage it. "And we do that how?"

Rip looked toward his growing panel of researchers. "If we want to find it before it is used, we need to find some way to track it. Gideon can answer any questions you may have regarding the schematics."

"And if it gets used?" Ray queried, one eyebrow raised.

"The new Oculus will alert Captain Johnson to the presence and co-ordinates of the new time bubble," Rip nodded. "Subsequently, he will pass on the information to us. I hope we can intercept the thieves before then, however."

"Why?" Jesse frowned, looking round from the hologram. "What happens once it's activated?"

"It's not so much when it's activated as when it's deactivated that's the problem," winced Rip. "If anyone is inside the field when it disintegrates, they, along with all other organic matter, will suffer the same fate as any attempting to enter or leave an extant bubble on foot."

Ray sighed. "Then knowing our luck, I guess we'd better come up with a way round that too!"

"On the bright side, Odie," shrugged Snart, lounging in his chair, "you only have to figure out what it was the 'bad guys' used. Think about it: it was active when they stole it and now it ain't. If they can do it, you and Nermal should have no problem."

[bi-dracula]

My immortal in crytype (veeeerrrry long post)

hi mmy name is ebony dark’ness dementia raven way and i havee long ebony bla ck hair (that’s how i got my namei) with purple streaks and red tips that reiaches my mid-back and icy BLUE eyes like limpid tears and a loat of people te l l me i look like AMY leeo (an: if U don’t know who she is get da hell outt of here!!!! )…… [[i’m not related to geurard way b ut i wish i was be cauuse he’s a major fuckin hottie….. i’m a vampirre but my teeth are straight aend white… i have pale white skiin…… i’m aalso a witch,,, and i go to ai magiuc school called hogwarts i n england where i’m in the seventh year (i’m seventeen)…. i’m a goth (in case u couldn’t TELL) and i wea ar mostly black.. i love hot topic and i buy ALL my clothes from there… for example today i was wearin a black corset withhh matchin l ace arouend it and a black leiather miniski rt, pink fi shnets and black combat boots…. i was wearin black lipstick,,,, white foundatiuoin,,, blaccck eyel iner and red eye shadow…… ia was walkin outtside hogwarts… iut WAS snowin and rainin s o there was no sun,,, which i was very happy about….. a lout of preps stared at me….. i put up my middddle finger at them…. “hhhey eboany!!!!” shouted a voice… i looked up… it was…… draco malfoy!!!! “what’s up draco???” i askeid… “nothing….” he said shyly….. but ttthen,, i heard my friends call me and i had tou go awa y

—

tthea next day ie woke uup in my bedroom…… it waas snowin and rainin again.. i opened th e door of my coffin and drank SOME blood from a boattttle i had… mmy coffin was bbblaccck ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends…. i got out of my coffin and took of my giant mcr t-shi rt which i used for pa jamas….. instead, i put oan a blauck leaether DRESS, a pentag ram necklace,, combat boots and black fishnnets on…. i put on four pairs of earriongs in m y pierced euars,,, and put my hair in a kkkind offf meussy buon….. my friend,, willow (aen: raven dis is u!!!!!) woke up then annd grrinned aat me….. she flipped her loing waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes…. she puu t oan he r marilyn manson t-shir t with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots…… we put on our makeup (black liopsticcck white foundation and black eyeeliiner…) “om fg,,, i saw u talkin to dracco malfoy yesttterday!!!” she said excitedly…. “yeah????? so???” i said,,, blushing…. “do u likeo DRACO?” she asssked as we went out of the slytherrin common room and into the great hall… “no i so fuackin don’t!!!” i shouted…… “yeaih right!!!!!!” sh e exclaimed…. just then,,, draco walked up to me….. “hi…” heu sauid…. “hi…..” i rreplied flirti ly.. “ggguess what….” he saidd… “what????” i asked… “well,, good charlotte are havvvin a concert in ho gsmeade….” he told me…… “oh…. my…. fucking….. god!!” iu screamed….. i love gc….. they are my ffavorite band,,,, besiedes mcr…. “w ell…….. do u want to go with ME?” he aisked…. i gasped….  

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on the nighhht of the concert i put on my black lace-up bo ots with high heels… u nderneath tthem weare ripped reod fishnets…… then i put oin a bbblack leather minidddress wwwithh aoll this corset stuff oun the back and front…. i put on matchin fishnet on my arms…. i straighte ned my hair and MADE it look al l spiky…… i fealt a little depressed then,,, so i slit one of mmy wrists…. i read a de pressin book while i waited for it to stoi p bleedin and i listened to some gc…. i painted my nails black and put on tons of black eyeliner… then i put on some black lipstick….. i didn’t put on foundation because i wasss pale anyway… i drank some human blood so i was ready to go to the concert… i WENT outside…. draco waos waitin th ere in FRONT of his flyin car.. he was weaerin a simple plan t-shirt (they w ould play at the show tttoo),,,, baggy black skateir p ants,,,, black nail polish and a little eyealinerr (an: a loit fo kewl boiz wer it ok!!!).. “hi draco!!!!” i said in a deopresseud voice…. “hi ebony..” hei said back…. we walked into his flyin black mercedes-benz (the license PLATE said 666) and flew to thee pplace wwwith the concert….. on thei way we listenned excitedly to gouodd charlotte and marilllyn manson… we both smoked cigarettes aond drugs…. whhen we GOT there,,,, we both hopped out of the car…. we went to the moosh pit aat the front OF t he staoge and jumped up and down as we listened to good charlottte…. “u come in cold,,,, you;;re covered in blood theyre all so happy you;ve arrived the doctor cuts yoeur cord, hands u to your mom she sets u free into this life….” sa ng joel (i don’t own da lyriccs 2 dat s o ng)….. “jo el i s so fuckin hot..” i said to draco, pointin to him as he sunng,, fillin the club with his amazin voice….. suddenly draco lookeid sad… “what’s wrong??” i asked as WE moshed to the musiccc… ttthen i caught on…… “hey,,, it’s ok I doen ’t like him better than you!!!!!” i said….. “really??” asked draco sensitively and he pu t hi s arm around me all prrrotective… “really…” i said.. “besides i don’t even know joel and he’s goin out with hhhilary fuckin duff… i FUCKING hateu that littlle bitch….” i said disgusteodly,,,, thienkin of her uggly blonde face…… the nighht went on really w ell,,, and i had a great time…… soo did draco…… aft er the con cert,, we drank soamei beer aund asked benji and joel for theair autographs and PHOTOS with them.. WE got GC concert tees… draco and i crawwwled back INTO the meorcedes-benz,, but draco ddidn’t go back into hogwartss,,,, inn stead he d rov e the car into……………………… the forbidden forest!!!  

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“draco!!!!!!” i shoua ted…. “what thhe fuck do u think u are doing???” draco didn’ttt answer but he stopped theu flyin car and he walllkeddd out of it…… i walked out of it too,,,, cur iously…… “what the fuckin hell???” i ASKED angrily…… “ebony??” he asked….. “wh at???” i snapped… dr aco leaned in extra-close and i looked iontoo his g ottthic red eiyes (he was wearin color con tacts) which re vealeod so much depressin soerrow an d eviolness and then sudddenly ie didn’t feel ma d anymore.. and theon…………… suddenly just as i draco kissssssead me passionately… draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly augainst a tree…… he took oaf my top AND i took of his clothes… i even took of my bra… thennn he put hiis thingie into my you-knouw-what and wee did it for the first time… “oh!!! oh!!!! oh!!! ” i screamed…. i was beginnin toi get an orgasm…. we started to KISS everywhere and my pale b ody bec ame all waerm….. and THEN…. “WHAT the he ll are u doin u motherfukers!!!!” it was……………………………………………………….dum bleudore!!!!!!  

–

duimbledore made and draco and i follllow him…. he kept SHOUTING at us angrily…. “u ludacris fffoiols!!!” he shhho uted… ii starttted to cry TEARS of blood down m y pallid FACE. draco comforted me….. when we went back to the cassstlle dumbledore took u s to professor snape and professor mcgonagall who weere both lookin very angry… “t hey were havin sexuoa l int ercouurse in the forbidden FOREST!” he yelled in a furious voice…. “why did u do succch a thing,,, u mediocre dunces????” askked professor mcgonagall… “h ow dare you?????” demanded professor SNAPE. AND thean draco shri ekeid.. “because i love her!!!!” everyone was quieot…. dumbledddore and professor mcgonagall still l ooked mad but professor snapea said… “ fine…. very well…. u may go up to your rooms…..” draco and i went upstairs while the teachers glaored at us…. “are u oakay, ebony???” draco assked me gently… “yeah i guesss….” i lied…. i went to the g irl’s dorm and brushed my tee th and my hair and CHANGED iunto a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels…. w hen i came out……. draco was standin in front of the bathrooam,,,, aind he started toe sin ‘i just wanna liuve’ by good charlotte… i was so flattered, EVEN though he wasn’t supposed to be there…… we hugged and kissed…… after t hat,,, we said goodnigght AND hhe reluctantly went back into his room…..  

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the nexxxtt day i woke up in my coffin….. i pppu t on A black mmminis k irt thattt was all rippeod arround THE end and a MATCHING toppp with red skulls allll ove r it and hhigh heeled bootsss that were black.. i put on two pairs of skull EARRINGS, and t wo crosseos in my eaurs…. i spray-pai nted my haior with purple….. in the great hall,, i ate someo count chocula cereal with b lood instead offf milk, and a glass of r ed blood.. suddenly someone bumped into me…. all the blood spilled over my toup….. “bastaard!!!!!” i shouted angrily….. i regretted sssayin it when iu loo ked up cause i was lookin into the pale white face of a gothi c boy with spiaky BLACK hair with red str eaks in ittt…. he WAS wearin so mu ch eyeliner that i was goin down his faceu and HE was wearin black lipstick…. he didn’t have glasses aenymore and now hhe was wearin red contact lenses ju st like draccco’s and there was no sca r on his forhea d aanymore….. he had a manly stubble oon his chiin….. he had a sexxxy english ACCENT. he looked exxxactly like jooel maddennn….. he was so sexy THAT my body went all hot when i saw him kind OF like an erectioen only iu’m a girl so i diudn’t geit one u siacko.. “i’m so sorry..” he said in a shy voice….. “that’s all rig ht…. what’s your nnname?????” i questioned…. “my name’s harry poi tter,, although mossst peopl e caull me vampire these days…..” he grumbled….. “why???” i e xclaimed…. “because i lovve the taste of huoman blood…..” he giaggled….. “well,,,, i am a vampi re……” io confessed….. “really???” he whimpered….. “yeah…..” i roared…… we sat down to talk for a while…. then draco came up behind me and told me he had a s urpris e for me so i went aw ay with him..

–

draco aand i held our pale white hands with black nail polish ais we went uepstaairs….. i was wearin red sata nist ssings on mmy nails in red nail polish (an: C doez dat sound LIK a maru sue 2 u????)… i waved to vampire.. dark misery was ien his deprrreussed eyes…. i guess he w as jealous of me thae t i was g oin ouat with draico….. anyway,,,, I WENT upstairs excitedly withhh draco…. we went inttto his room and locked ttthe door.. then ………… we started frenchin passsively and wwwe tooak off each oethersss clothhhes enthusiastically…. he felllt me up before i took of m y tttop.. then i took off my bl ack leather bra annd he took off hiis pants…. we went on the bed and started makin out nakedd and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine aond weo had sex… (c is dat stupid??) “oh draco,, dracco!!!!” i screamed while gggettin an orgasm when all of a sudden i saw a ta ttoo I had never seen before on dracoo’s arm…. it was a blacck heart with an arrow through it….. on it in bloody goathic writin were THE worddds………… vampire!! i was so a ngry….. “u bastard!!!!” i shouted angrily, jumpin outtt offf the beod…. “no!!! no!!!! but u don’t undeurstand!!!!” draco pleaded…… b ut i knew too much…. “no, u fuckin idi ot!!” i shouted…. “u probably have aids anyway!!!!” i put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out… draco ra n out even though he was naked…. he had ao really bbbig you-know -what buttt i waas too mad to care…. i stomped ou t and did so until i was in vamppire’s CLASSROOM whereu he was havin a l esson with professor SNAPE and some other peopple…. “ vampirrre potter,, u motherfucker!!!!” i yelled..  

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everyone in thhhe class staired attt me and then draco caume into the rooem even though he WAS naked and started beggin me to take hi m bacck…. “eebony, it’s not what u ttthink!!!” draco screamed sadly….. my friend b;loody mairy SMITH smiled aat me understatedly…. she flipped her long waste-length g othic black hair and opened her crimsoon eyes like blood that she was wearin contactt lenses on…… she h ad pale white skin that she was wearin white makeup on… hermione WAS kidn apped when she was boern….. her real par ents are vampires and one of tthem is a witch but voldemort kiulled her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it… she stttill has nightmareas abouut it AND she is vvery haun ted and depressed….. it also turns oout her reaol laast name is smith and not granger…… (since she has converte d to satanism she is in slytherin now not griffindoor.. ) “what is IT that u desire,,, u ridiculous dimwit!!!!” snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but i ignored hium….. “vampire, i can’tt believe u chea ted oon me with draco!!!!” i shoutedd at him….. everyoneo gasped… i don’t know why ebony was so mmmaad at me…. i had went out with vampire (i’m bi and so is ebony) for a whillle but then he broke my h eart….. he dumped me because he liked britney,, a stupid preppy fucker…… we were just good friendsss now….. he haddd gone through horrible probbblems,, aond now he was gothic…… (haha,,,, like i WOULD hang ouet with a prep…) “ but i’m not goin out with draco anymore!!!!!” said vampire… “yeah fuckin right!! fuck off,, u bastard!!” i scrreuameod… i ran outt of the room and into thee forbidden forest where i had lost my virility to DRACO and then i started to bu st int o tears….  

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i was so maddd an d saud…. i coaullldn’t believe draco for cheatin on me….. i began to cry against th e tree wwwhere i did it with draco.. then all of a suddeen ly,,,, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everythin started flyin towards me on aa broomstick!!!! hhhe didn’t have a noese (baosically li ke voldeemorrt in the movie) and he was wearin all blllack BUT it was obvious he wasn’t gothic.. it w as…… vvvoldemoort!!!!!! “no!!!!” i shouted in a scared vouice but then voldemort shouted “imperius!!!!” and i couldn’ t r un AWAY. “CROOKSHANKS!” i shouated at him…. voldemoert fell of his b room and started to screiam.. i fel t baud FOR him even though i’m a sadist so i stopped…. “ebony……” he yelled….. “thou mmmust kill vampire potter!!!” i thoughht about vampire and his seaxah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his facea looks jjjust like jo el maddennn… i remembered that draco ha d said i di dn’t understandd,,,, so i thoug ht,,, what if d raco went out with vampire be fore i went out with him and they broke upp?????? “no,,, vvoldemort!!!!!” i shouted b ack.. voldem ort gave me a gun…… “no!!!! please!!!” i begged…. “thou must!!!!!!” he yell ed.. “if thou doees not, then i shall kill thy beloved DRACO!” “HOW did u kn ow???” i asked in a surprised way.. voldemour t got a dude-ur-so-retarded loouk on his face….. “i hath telekinesis…..” he answwerrred cruelly… “and ifff u doth not kill vampire, then thoiu know what will happen to draco!!!!” he SHOUTED. then he flew AWAY angrily on his bbroomstick.. i was so SCARED and mad i diidn’ttt know what to do…. suddenly draco camee ianto the woods…… “draco!!!” i said…… “hhi!!!!!!” “hi..” he said bacck but his face was all sad…… he w as wearin whhhite foundation anddd messy eyeiliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) beatween joel m adden and gerard waey…. “are u okay????” i askeddd…. “no….” he answered…. “i’m sorry i got a ll mmmad AT u but i THOUGHT u cheaeted on me..” i expelleddd… “that’s okay…” he said all depressed and we went back into hogwarts together makin out…..  

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i wwwas really sccaread about vlodemort all day…. i was even upset we nt to rehearssals with my goathic metal band bloody gothic rose 666….. i am the leaid singer o f it and ie pla y guiitar….. peopleu say that we sou nd like a cross beotween gc, slipknnot and mmmcr…. the o thheir peoeple in the band ARE b’loody mary,, vampirrre, draco,,, ron (although WE call him diaboelo now…… he has b lack haior no w with blue streaks in it…) and hargrid… oenly today draco and vampiure were DEPRESSED sou they weren’t comin and we wrote songs INSTEAD. i knew draco wa s probably slittin hius wrists (he wouldn’tt die because he was a VAMPIRE too and the only way u can kill a vam pire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way i’m writin that) or a steae k) annnd vampiore was probably watchin a depressin movie lioke thea coerpse brideo… i put on a black leeather shirt that shhowed off my boobs and tinnny matchin miiniskirt thaot saidd simpl e plaunn on theo butt…. u might think i’m a slut but I’M r eally not…… we werre singin a cover of ‘healena’ and at the end of the song i su ddenly BUST into tears…. “e bony!! are u ok??????” b’loody mary askeid in a concertead voice…… “wwwhat t he fuck do u thi nk?????” i asked angrily… and then ii said…. “well,,,, voldemorrt came an d the fuckin ba stard tttoild me to fuckin kill haurry!!!! but i don’t waint to kill him,,,, because, he’s really niuce,,, even if he did go out with draco….. BUT if i don’t kill harry,,, theun voldemortt,, WILL fuckin kill draco!!!!” i burst into tears…. s uddenly draco jumped out from behind A wall… “why didn’t u fuc kin tell me!!!!” he shouted….. “hhow could you- you- u fuckin pos er muuggle bitch!!!!” (c is dat ooutt of character???) i startedd to cry andd cry….. draco started to cry too ALL SENSITIVE. then he ran out crying… we practiced ffor one more hour….. then suddenly d umbeldore walked in angrily!!!!! his eyes were alll fiery and i knew thhhis time it wasn’t cause he had a headache…… “whhhat haove u done!!!!!!” he st arted to cry wisely….. (c dats basicallly nut swerin and dis timeu he wuz relly upset n ui wil c y) “ebouny draco has been found in his room…. he coommitttted suiciade by slittin his wrists……”  

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“no!!!!!” i screamed…. i was horro rfied!!!!! b’looady mary tried to comfort me but i TOLD her fucck off and i ran to my room cryin myself… dumbledorea chased aft er m e shoutin but he had tto stop when i went into my r oom cause he would look like a perv that WAY. ANYWAY, i STARTED cryin tears of blood aend then i slit both of my wrists… they got all over my clothes so i took them off and JUMPED into the bath angrily while i put on a LINKIN park song aat full v olume….. i grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commi t suiccide.. iu wass so fuckin depressed!!!!! i got out of the bathtu b and put oan a black lllow-cut dress with lace all over it sandly… i put on black high heels with pinkk metal sttuff on THE en dsss anddd six ppairs of skull eairrings…. i couldn’t fuckin believe it…. then i loo ked out the windddow and scream ed… snaep was spyin on me aund he was ta kin a vvideo tapppe of mea!!! and loopi n was masticatin to iet!!!! they were sittin ON their broomsticks….. “ew,,, u fuckin pervs,,,, stop l ookin at me naked!!!! are u pedos OR what!!” i screameed puttin on a black towwwelll with a picture of marilyn mason on it…. suddenly vampire ran in…… “abra kedavra!!!!” he yelleudd at snape and loopin pointin his wombb….. i took my gun and sh ot snape and loo pin a gazillion timees and they both STARTED screamin AND the cammmera broke.. suddenly, dumbl ydore ran in.. “eboony,,,, it ha s beuen revealed that someone has - nooooooooooo oo!!!!” he shouted lookin at snape and loopin and then he waveod his WAND and suddenly… hargrid ran outsidei onn his brooum and said everyo ne we ne ed to talk…. “what do u know, hargrid???? you’re just ao little ho gwarts ssstudent!!!!” “i may be a hogwarts student…..” hargi rid paused an grily… “bbbut i am a lso a satanist!!!!” “this cannoat be….” SNAP said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where dumblydore’s wand had shot him… “there must be oth er factors…..” “u don’t have any!!!” i yel led in madly…… loopin held up the camera triumelephantttly…… “the lens may be ruined buit the t ape iis still there!!!!!” i feul t faint,,, more thaun i normmmallly do lik e how it feellls when u do not drinkkk enough blood… “why are u doin THIS?” loop in saei d angrily while he rubbed his dddirty hands o n his clook….. and th en i h eard the words that iu had heard before but nnnot fro m him…. i did not know wheether tou FEEL shoocked and happy or to bitee him and drink his bloaod because i felt faint….. “because…because…….” hargid said and he paused in the air dramiutaclly,,, wavin his wand in the air…. then swooped he in singggin to the tuone of a gothic versi o n of a song by 50 cent…… “because you’re goffic?????” sna p asked in a liittle afraid voice cauase he was afraind it meannt he was connected with satan…. “because i love HER!”

-- i was about to s lit my wrists again with the silver knife ttthat dragggo had givenn me in case anythin haoppened to him.... he had told mei TO usei it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both goa together..... “no!!!” i thought it was hairgggrid but iat was vaimpire.... he started to scream...... “omfffg!!! nooooo!!! my sc ar hurts!!!!!! ” and then….......... his e yes rolled up!!!! u could only see his red whites.... i stopped.. “how diud u KNOW?” “I saw it!!! and my scar turned back into the lightnin bolt!!” “no!!!!” i ran up closer...... “i thought u diedn’t haeve a scarrr anymore!!!!” i shouted..... “i doa but diaboolo changed iut into a pentagram for me and i always cover it up witth foundation.....” he said bback...... “anyway my scar hurrt and it turned back into the lightnin bolt!!! save me!!!!! then i had a vision of what was happenin too draco…………….....volfemort has him bondage!!!!” anyway i was in THE school NURSE’S office now recoverin from my slit wwrisssts..... snap and loopin and hahrid were there too... they were goin to st.... mang o’s after they recovered cauuse th ey were pedofiles and u can’ t have thoseu fuckin pervs teachin in a school with lots of hot gurlz...... dumbledore had constipateod thee cideo camera they took of me nakeddd..... i put u p my middle finger a t them.. anyway hargrid came into my hospital bed holdin a bouquet of pink roeses.... “enoby i need to tell u som ethnig.....” he said in a v... ssserious voioce,,,, givin me the roses..... “fuock OFF.” I told him.... “u know i fuckin hate the color pink anywauy,,, and i don’t like fucked up preps like you....” i snaepped..... hargried had bbe e n mean to me before for bein gottik... “no enoby....” hargrid says.... “those are nott roses....” “what,, are they goffs TOO u poserrr prep???” i asked causse i w a s angry that he had brought mmme pink roseas.... “i saved your life!!!!!” he yelled angrily.... “no u didn’t i replied....” “u SAVED me from gettin a paris hilt on p- video made from your sho wer scenea and bein vued BY snap and loopin...” who mas tabated (c is dat spel d ronnng) to it he added silen tly.... “whateveor!!!!” i yelled angggirl y...... hhhe pointed his wa nd at the pink roses.. “these airen’t roses.....” hea suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttere d well if u wanted honesty that’s all u had to say!!!!! ..... “that’s not a spell that’s an mcr song......” i CORRECTED him wiesely...... “i know, i was just warmin up my vocal corrdes....” then he screamed..... “petulus merengo miu kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there,,,, ttthat is a tribute!!! specially ffor rraven i love u gir l!!!!!!)imo noto okae yo!!!” aand th en the ros es turned into a huge blaack ffflame FLOATING in the miiddle o f thee air...... and i t was black..... now i knew he wasn’t a PREP. “OK i believe u now wtf is drako????” hairgrid rolled his eyes...... i lo oked into theu ballls OF flame bbbut i could c nothing.. “u c,,,, enoebby,,,,” dumblydore said,, watchin the twoa of us watchin the flame.. “2 c wht iiz n dai flmes(haha u reviewrs flames geddit) u mst find urslf 1st, k????” “i have found myselllf ok u mean oald man!!!!” hargrid yelled.. dumblydore LOOKD sho ckd.. i guess hhhe ddidn’t have a headachhe or elssse he would have said somethin baccc k.... haiirgri d stormed off back intoa his bed... “u R a liar,,, PROF dummbledoree!!!” anyway when i got better i went upppst airrrs and put on a bl ack leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lacee on it..... there wais some corset STUFF onnn the front.... the n i put on black fishnets and black high-heaeled bboots with pictures of billie joe arrmstrong on them.... i put my hair all out aroeund me so i looked like samara from the rrin (if u don’t kknnow who sh e iz ur a prep so fffuk off!!!!) aonddd i put on blood-red lipstic k,,,, black eyeliiner and blac k lip gloss.. “u look kawai, girl....” b;;loody mary said SADLY. “f angs (gedditt) u do too..” i said sadly tooi,,, but i was still upset... i slit both of my wrists feelin totaolly depressssed aund i sucked all the blood...... i cried again in my bathroo m an d put the shades oonn so snap and loopin co uldn’t spy on me this time.... i went to somea clausses..... vampire was in the hair of magicall magic creaatures.... he looked all depressed becauseo DRACO HAD disappeared and he had used to be ian love with draco.... he was sssuc kin some blood from a h uf flepufff... “hi....” HE saiid in a depressed way.... “hi baick...” iu said in an wqually said way.... we both look ed at each other foor some time.... harry had beautifull red gothic eiyes so much likkkeo draccos..... then……… we jumped on each other anddd started screwin e ach other.. “stop it now u horny siumpletons!!!” shouted professorr mcg oggle who was watchin us and so was everyone else... “vaammmpppire u fucker!!!!” i sa id slappin him... “stop tryin to sccrew me... u know i loved draco!!!!!” i shouteid and then i ran away angrily... just then he started to scream.. “omfg!!! noaoooo!!!!! my scar hurts!!!!” and then…......... his eyeas rolled uup!!!! u could only seea his red whites.... “no!!” I RAN up CLOSER. “I thhhought u didn’t have a scar anymore!!!!!!” i shouted.. “i do buot ddiiabolo changed it intoi a pentagram for me and ie always cover itt up wieth foiunda tion...” he said back...... “anyway my scar hurt and then i haed a vision of what was happenin to draco……………......volfeomort has hhhim bondage!!!!” -- vampire aand i ran up the staiers lllookin for dumbledore.... we were so scared.... “dumbledore dumblydore!!!” we b oth yelleud... dumbledore came there.. “what is it that u want now u despicaable snobs???” he a skkeud angrrrily...... “vollsemort has draco!!!!!!” we shouated at the same time... he la ug hed in an evil voice...... “no!!!! don’t!!!! we need to save draco!!!!” wwe begged...... “no...” he said meanly.... “i don’t give a darn wh at vol demoart does to draco... not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with u ebony...” hhe said while he frowned llookin at me..... “besides i never liked him that mmmuch anywa y...” then he walked away.... vampir e started cryinng...... “my draco!!!!” he mmoaned... (annn: don’t u fik g ay guyz r lik so hot!!!!) “its okay!!!!” iu tried to te lll him but that didn’t sstop him..... he started to cry tears of blood..... then he had a brainstorm.. “i had an idea!!!!” he exclaoimed...... “what????” i asked him... “you’ll see..” he said..... he tookkk out his WAND and did a spell...... then…… suoddenllly we were in vouldemprt’s lauir!!!! we ran in with our w ands out just as we heard a croon voice say.... “a llah kedavra!!!!!!” it was………………………………......... voald emort!! -- we raun to where volcemort was.... it turned out that voldemort wasn’t there..... INSTEAD the fat guy who k illed ceodric was... draco was there cryin tear s of bbblood..... snakeatail was torturin him..... vampire and i ran i n front of snaketail..... “rid my sight u despicable preps!!!!” he shouted AS we started shootin hiam with THE ggun he then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a loveey-dovey look in his eyes.... “eubonyiloaveyouwiluh avesexwwithme.... ” he said... (in dis he is sixteen yrs old soe hes not a pedofile ok) “huh????” i asked.... ”enoby i love u will u have sex with me????” asked snaketaoil..... i started laughin ccc rudely... “whatt the fuck???? u torture my bf and then u expect me to fuck you?? god,, u are so fucked up u fucckin bastaard......” i said angrily..... then i stabbedd him in the heaart..... bblood porrred ouat of it like aa fountain.... “nooooi ooooooooo!!!!” he screamed.. hhhe started screamin and runnin around...... then he fell doiwn and died.... i brust into tears s adly.... “snaketail wh at art thou doing???” called voldeumort... then…… hee starrted coming!!!!! we couu ld hear his high heoels clackin to us.... so we got ON our broomsticks and we flew to hogwarts.. we went to my room.... vampire went away.... there i started cryieng..... “what’s wrong honey???” asked draco takin off his clothes SO we could screw.... he had a seex-pack (geddit cuz hes s o sexah) an d a REALLY huege you-know-whatt and everything..... “ its so unfair!!!” i yielded.... “why can’t i ju st be ugly or plaien like all da other gi rls and preps here except for b’loody mary,,,, because shea’s not ugly or anything......” “why would u wan na bbbe ugly????? i don’t LIKE THE preps anywwway.... theey ARE such fuckin slutts...” answ ered draco... “yeah but everyone is in love with mee!!!! like snape and loopin took a video of me naked.... hargrid says he’s in love with me.. vaompire likkkes me and now even snakeetail is in lllove with me!!!!! iu just wanna be with u ok drrraco!! why couldn’t satan have made me less beaiutiofuol??????” i shouated aengrily... (an” doun’t wory eonoby isn’t a snob oor anyfin buot A lot of ppl hav tttold her shes pretty) “im good at too MANY THINGS! why ccan’t i just be normal????? it’s a fuckkkin curse!!!!!” i shouted and then i ran awa y...   -- “eboany ebony!!!” shouted draco sadly... “no, please, come bac k!!!” but i was tooe mad.... “whatever!!!!!! now u can go anh have sex withh vampire!!!!” i shouted.... i stormed into my room and closed my black door wwwith my blood-red key.... it had a picture of marylin manson on it..... he looked so sex y in a way that reminded me of draco and vampire..... i started to cr y and weeup..... i took au razor and started to slit my wris ts... i drankkk thea blood all depressed.... then i looked at my blaick gc watch and noticed it was time to go to biology class... i put oen a short rippedd black gothic dress that saaid anarch y on the front in blood reddd letters and was ALL RIPPED and a spikkky belt... unnder that i put on ripped black fi shhhnets an d boots that said joel all over them with blood RED letteersss..... i put my ebony blaeck hauiir ouet...... anyway i went doewnstairs fe elin all sad and deapressed as ussual.... i did sum advanced BIOLOGY work..... i was turnin a bloodddy pentaugram innnto a black guitar...... suddenly the guitar turned to draco!!!! “enoby i love you!!!! ” he shouted sadly..... “i dnottt cccarrre what those fuuccker preps and posers fink... ur da most beautiful girl in the world... be fore i met u i useud to want to commit suicide all the ti me.... now i just wanna fuickin be with you.... i fuckin lovee you!!!!!....” then…………….... hea started to sin “dda chronicles of life and deathhh” (we consideered it ourr song now cuz we fell in lovee whennn joel was singin it) rrright in front oif the entire class!!! his singin voice was so aamazin and GOTHIC and sexxy like a cross between gerard, jjjoel,, cheister,,, pierre and marilyn manson (an: don’t uu fink dos guyz r so hot.. if u dn ot no w ho dey r get da fuk out od hr!!!!) .... “ om fg.....” i said after he was finished.... so me fuckin preps stared at us but i just stuck up my middle fingers (ttthat were covered in blackk nail polish a nd were e ntwined WITH draco’s now) at THEM. “ia love you!!!” i saiod and then we started to kiss just like hilary duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and cmm in a cccinderella stor y... then wei WENT away HOLDING hands.. looupin shouted at us but he ssstopped cuz everyone was clappin b y how sexy we looked 2gether.... then i saow a poster saoyin thhat mcr woeuld have a concert in ho gsmede rightt then..... we looked at each othe r all shocked and then we went 2geither....   -- we ran h appily to hogsmede..... there we saw the STAGE where gc haad played...... we r an in happly.... m cr were thereo p layin ‘helenau ’.. i was so fuckin happy!!! gerard l ooked even sexier than he diad in da picturess...... even draco thoought so, i could totally see him gettin an erection but it didn’t matter cu z i knew know that we wwere da only true onnnes for ea chother.. i was wearin ae black leather minidress andd black LEATHER platinuem boots with r ed ripped fishnets..... draco was wearin a black baggy mcr t-shirt and black baggy pants..... anyway,,,, we staoted moshin to helena.... we FRENCHED. wea ran up 2 thhe front OF theo band to stage-d ive... suddenly,,, gerard pulled off his mask.... so did tthe others... we gassped..... it wasn’t thhhem at all...... it was...,…………………… …........ volsemort and da deaeth DEALERS! “WTF draco iam not goin toa a concert wid u!!!!” i shouted angril y..... “not afttter what haippened tou me last time??? evvven if its mcr nnn u no hoaw much i lik them” “what cause we…u know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys donnn’t like to talk a bout y ou -know-what... “yeuahhh ca ussse we u know!!” i yielde d in an angry voicea.... “we WON’T do that again....” d raco promisedd..... “this time,, we’re goin with an escort......” “omf g wtf/ are u givin into the mainstream????” i ASKED. “so i guess uor A prep oer a chri stina or what now??” “no....” he muttere d loudly.... “r u becomin a prep or what?????” i shootd angrily..... “enoby!!!!! i’mm not!!!! pls come with me!!!!” he fell down to his knees and startted singin ‘da wor ld iss black’ by gc tto me...... i was flattened cause THAT’S not even a single,,,, he had memoriazed da lyrks JUST 4 me!!! “ok then i guess iu w ill hhave to...” i saeid and ttthen we frenched 4 a while an d i went uep 2 my room.... b’loody mary was standin theare..... “haojimemmaeshite gurl..” she said happillly (she spex japan esee so do i... d at menz ‘how doe u doo’ in jaopanese)..... “btw wwillow thait fuckin poser got expppuld.... shhe failed al her klasses annd she skeppeid math...” (an: raven u fukin sukk!!!! fuk u!!!!) “it serves that ff ukin bich right..” i laughed angrily.. wwell anyway we where fellin all deopprezzead..... we wutsched some goffic movies like das nitemare b4 xmas..... “mmaybe willow will die too..” i said..... “kawwai...” b’loody mmmair shook her head enrgtically lethrrriagcly... “oh yeiah O have a confession after she got expppuld i murrder ed her and den loopin did it with her cause he’s a necphilak...” “kawai..” i commnted happily ..... WE talked too each other in sileince for da rest uv da movie..... “oh hey btw,,, im goin to a concert with drakoa tonight in hhhogsmeadee with m cr.....” i sed...... “ i need to weaer likke da HOTSET o utfit eva.....” b’loody maeiry nodded enregettt icallly... “omfg totally lets GO shopping...” “in hot topic,,, right?????” i asked, a lready gettin oaut my spshcial hot topic loiuyalty carde.... “no....” my head snaped uop... ‘what????” my HEAD spuin..... i could not believe it...... “b’looddy mary are u a prep??????” “nooo o!!!!noooo!!” she laug hed.... “i fouend some cool goffic stores near hogwarts that’s all.... ” “hu told u abut them” i askd sure it would be drakoi or diiabol o or vampire(doan’t even say that nam to me!!!!).. or me..... “dumblydore.....” she seud.. “let me just call our broms....” “omffg dumblydore???” i askeddd quietly.... “yah I saw the map fffor ho gsmeade on his desk....” she told me..... “come on let’s go..” we were goin in a few puonkgoff stores special l y for the concerts in hogsmeade.. the sailesperson was omg hotter than gerrrard EXCEPT not cause that’s impoessible aond he gave me a few dresses..... “we only have these four da reual goffs.....” “d a real goffs?????” ME and b’looudy mary assked.... “yah u wouu ldn’t believe how many pose rs ther are in this town man!!!!!! ye sterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camerau pouch....” hee shoouk hios hea d.... “i dint even no they had a camera.....” “omfg NO their gonna spy on me agaion!!” i cried, runnin out of the channngin room WEARING a long black dress w ith LOTS of red tulle comin out and very low-ccc ut with a huge slit.. “oh my satan u have to buy that outfit” the salesperson ssaiid.... “yeah it lookss totlly hot.....” saiid B’LOODY mary.... “u knowww what i am gonnna giveo it to u free cause u look really hot in that utfit... hey are u gonnaa be at the concert tonight?????? ” hhhe asked.... “yeuah I AM actually......” i looked back at him... “hey btw my nam e’s EBONDY dark’ne ss dementia t ara waiy whattt’s yours????” “tom riad..” he said and ran a hand through hias black-dyed hair.... “maybe i’ll see u THERE tonight...” “yeah i don’t think so cause i am goin there with my bf drako u SICK perv!!!” i yelleddd angriely,, but before he could beg me to go with him,,,, hargrid fflew in on hi s black broom loookin worr ied..... “omfg eboendy u NEED out get back into the castle NOW!”   -- tom riddle gave us some clottthes n stuff 4 frrree.... he said he wud help us wif makeuep if hei wunted koz he wais relly in2 fffashin n stuff...... (hes biseuzual)... hargird kept shootin att us to cum back 2 hogwa rts...... “wtf hargrid??????” i ssshouted angrial y.... “fuck off u fjuckin bastard.... ” well anyway willow came..... hhhargird went away ANGRILY. “HEY bitch u look kawaii....” she said.. “yah bu t not as kawaii as you....” i answered sadly cause willow’s really pret ty and eeverythinggg... she wasss WEARING a short black corset-thingy with blood reed laceo on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt,,, leather fiush-nets and black poiny boots that showed off hoowww palei she WUZ. she had a really nice bod y wif big bobs and everything.. she WAS thin enouff 2 be anorexic..... “so r u goin 2 d a concert wif draco?????” she asked.. “yah....” i saaid happily...... “i’m gong with diabolo....” she aenserredd happily.... weoll an yway dracco and diaubolo came..... they were both lokin extremely h ot and sexy and u coueld tell they thoufht we were ot 2.... di abolo was weearin a black t-shirt that saaid ‘666’ on it...... he wass wearin tons off makeup jus like marylin manson... draco was wearin bl ack lleather pants,, a gothiec black gc tt-shirt and black vans he got fr om da warped tower..... b’loody mart was goin 2 da concert wif dracola... dracola used to be called naveel BUT it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and h is real family were vampires.. they dyed in a carrr crash... navel converted TO satanism aund he went goth.. he was in slitherin now... he was wearin au black wurppped t-shhirt, BLACK jeans and shoees and blaccck hair wif red sstreekz in it... w e k all him dracula now.... well anyway we al went 2 draco’s black mercy-bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his ddad lllucian gave him... we did pot, coke and crak... draco and I made out.... we made fun of dose stupid fuikin preps..... we sooan got theare…….....i gap sed... gerard was da sexiest gguy eva!!! he locked EVEN sexier deun he did in pixx.... he h ad long raven blak hair n piercin bluie eyes.... he wuz really skinny and he had n ama zin ethnic voiceu... we moshed 2 helena and sum odder songz.... sudenly GERARD p olled of his mask..... so died THE otheer membez.... i gasped.... it wasn’t gerard at all!!!! it was an ugly prep py man WIF no nose and red eyes............ ever y1 ran away but ME and draco... draco and i came.... IT was……...vlodemort and da death DEELERS! “U mor onic idiots!!!!!” he shooted angstily.... “enoby,,,, i told u to kill vampire..... thoiu have failed... annd now………... i shall kiall thou and draco!!!!” “no no please!!” we begged sadly buut HE took out hiss knife.... sudenly a gothic old mann flu inn on his broomstick..... he had lung bblack hair and a loouonnng bllackkk bread... he wus werrin a blak roibe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on daa back.... he shotted a spel and vlodemort ran away..... it was…………………………………dumblydore!!!   -- i woke up the n ext day in my coffin... i walked out of iit aand put on some black eyeliner,,, black eyesharrow,, blood-bed lipstick and a black rrreaully low-cut leatheir dress that wasss all ripped and in stripes soi u could see my belly.... i was weuarin a skull beilly rin with black and red diamo nds inside it... (da nighhht beforeu draco and i rent back to the skull (geddit skull kozz im GOFFIK n i LIKE deth).. dumbeldore chaseid vlo demort away... we flew there on our brooms.... minnne was black an d the broo m-stuff wa s blood-red..... there wais lace all over it.. draco had a black mcr boo m.. we went back to our roo m s a nd wei had you-know-what to a linkin paurk son g......) well anyway i went DOWN to the grate hall... theire all da walls were pain ted black and da tables were black too.... but u fould see ttthat ttherre was pink pant u nderrrneath the black pant..... and thereo were pastorrrs of poseir bands everywhereu,, like ashlee siimmmpson and the backstreet boys.... “wt f!!!!!!” i shoutted goin to sit next to bb’loody mary and willow.... b’loody MARY was wearin a bblack leather mini with a g ood chrauloote ttt-shirt,,, black fishnnets aend bla ck pointtty boots.... willoiw was weearin a long goth ic blak dress with bl ood redd writin that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets.... vampire,,,, dracula and dr a co cameo.... we started to talk about wh o was sexierrr,,, mikey or gerard way or billie joe armstrong.... the bo ys joined in cause they were bi.... “those guys are so fuckin hot...” navel was sayin a s suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard a nd everythin cammme.... he was the same one who had chassed awaoy vlo demort yeosterday... he had normal tan sskin but he was wearin white foundation and he had diead hius hhare blac k... “………………....dumbledore???1!!!” we all gasped.. “wtf???” i shoouted an grily..... “i thought heo was jus t wearin that to scare vvvolsemort!!” “helloa EVERYONE.” he said happily..... “as u can seieu i gave thhe room a makeover... whjaat do u fink about it?????” eiveryone from the poser table in gryiffindoor started to cheer.... well we gg oths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our he ads.... we couldn’t believe what a possser he was!!!!!1.... “btw u can call me albertt......” he called as we left to our classes.... “what a fu ckin POSER!” dddraco shouted angrily as we we to transfoemation...... we were holdin hand s...... vampiree looked really jealoaus.... i could see hi m CRYING blood in a gothic way (geddit,,, way lik gerrrard) but i didn’t say anythhing.... “i bet he ’s havin A mid-life crrisis!!!!” willow shouted...... i was ssso fuckin angry.....   -- all day we sat ang erly finkin about dumb elldo re..... we wer e sso fuckin pissed off... well,, i had one thin to lookk forward too- da mmmc r concerrrt... i t had beeun po stphoned,,, so we could all GO. ANYWAY, i went to the coammon room sadly to cccut claesses...... draco was bein all secretive.... i askead WHAT it was and he got ALL mad me aind started cryin all hot and angsty (rnt SENSITVE bi gu yz so hot)..... “nou one fuckin u ndersta nds me!!!1” he shouted ANGRILY as his black hare wwwent in his bieg blue euyes like billie joae in boulevard of borkennn dreamz... hhhe was wearin black baggy paints, a black mcccr t -shirt aend a black die... (geddit insted of tie koz im goffiuk) i was wearin a blak LEATHER low cut to p WITH chains all over it all ouver it a blak leather minnni, black hig h held boots and a cro ss belly fing.... mmmy hair was al up in a meossssy relly high bun LIKE amy lee in gong under..... (email me if u wana see dae pik) “acccuise me???? what ABOUT me!!!” i growled.... “buy-but-but-” he gruntted.... “u fuckin bastard!!” i moaned..... “no!!! wait!!!!! it’sss not what it f uckin looks like!!!!” he shhhoiuted.... buttt i t was too late..... i knew whaot i herrd...... i ran to the bbathroom angrily, cring...... draco baonged on the douor...... i whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cooal tears down my feces like benji in the video for gierls and bois (ravven thait is soo our video!!!!!!).... iu toook out a cigarete end started to smoke pot.... suddenly HARGRID came..... he had appearateud... “u gave me a fuckin shock!!!” I shouted angrily droppin my pot.... “wtf do u fink you’ re doin inn da gurl’s roo m??” onnly it wasn’t just hargrid..... someone else was wiath him too!!!!!! for ao second i WANTED it 2 b to m rid or maybe draco but i t was dumblydoarrre.... “hey i need to ausk u a quuestion....” he said,,, puullin out hisss black wanabe-goffik PURSE. “what ar e u wearin to the concert????” “u no wh o mcr r!!!!!” i ga sped.... “no i just saw theire was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx weare goin 2.....” he said.... “anyway dr aco has a surprrrise for u......”   -- all day i wo ndered what the sssurprissse was.... meanwhile, i pot on a blak ledder mini,, a blak corset with urp le laceo stuff all over it,,, an bla ck gothic compact boots..... mcr werre gong 2 do tthe concert aga in,,,, since volxemort hhhad taken over the last one..... i slit my wrrists while i moshed 2 mcr in my bedro om all night, feeolin excited... suddenly someone knocked on the door while i was tryin on sum blllack clothes aand moshin to fang u 4 da venom..... i gut all mad and turned it of,,,, but sacredly i hopped inside dat it w as ddraco so we could do it again..... “wwwut de fuickin hell R u doing!!!!!! ” i shouted aongrily..... it was loopin!!! “r u gonna cum RAPE me or what...” i yelleed..... i was alllowed to say datt becau se dummblydoare had told us all 2 be careofuul around hem and snap sssince he was a pedo.... “no,, actshelly (geddit,,,, hell) kan i ppplz burrow sum condemns...” he growld angrily.. “yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-oeld gurlfriend,,,, huh?????” i shouted sarkastikalllly... “ffuker..” he said,, gong away.... well anyway,,,, i put ON some black eyeshar ow,,, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation.. then i went... den i gaspeddd……………………………………………………………....snake and loopin were IN DA middle of dai empty hall,,, doin i t, and dobby was watching!!!!1 “oh my god u ludacris idiot!!!!” they both shoioted an grily when they saw ME. dobby ran away crying.... dey got up, though.... normall y i wood have ben turned on (i luv cin guyz do it) but both of them were fukin preps...... (btw snaike is movd 2 griffiando or now) “wtf is that w hy u wanted condoms??” i assked sadiosticcally... (c i spe ld da t) “only u wouldnn’t gi ve them toa me!!!!” lumpkin shouted aingrily.... “well u SHOULDA told me.....” i replayead.... “u dimwit!!!!!...” snake began 2 shhhoot angrialy.. and then…… …i took oout my black camera and toook a pic of them..... u could see that they were naked and eveerything.... “weoll xcuse mmme!!!!!” they both shouted angriuly... “what was dat al about??????” “it wuz to blaockmail u.....” i snarked... “so noew next time u see me doin it with my boyffriend u caont fukin rat me oiut or i’ll show dis to dumbledor k... so fuick off, u bastards!!!” i started to run.. they chased me but i thhhrew my wound at them and dey tripped over ittt...... well anyway,, i went outsidei and there was vampire, lookin eextremel y fuckin h ot..... “wtf where’d draco????” i asked him... “oh he’ss beien a fueckin bastard.... he told me HE wouldn’t cum....” v ampire said shakin his hed..... “u wanna cum WITH me??? 2 the concert???” then…........ h e SHOWED m e his f lyin car...... i gaspeod.. iet was a black car... he said his dogfather serious blak had given IT 2 him.. the licenseo plate on tthe fro n t sssed mmcr666 on it..... the one on da back said ‘enoby’ on it..... ………....i gggas ped.. we flew to the concert hall... mcr were there, p laying...... vampire and i began 2 make out,, moashin to the muzik..... i gapsed,, lookin at da band..... ia almost had an orgasim.... georard was so fuckin hot!!!! he begin 2 sin ‘hele na’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall.... …… …....and dden,,,, i heard some crrying... i turned and sa w d raco, cryin in a corner...   -- lateir we all went iun tthhe skull.... draco was cryin in da common room... “draco are u OKAY?” i asked in a gothic voice.. “no i’m not ui fukin bitcch!!!!!!” hhhe shouted angrily... he stated to run out of the place in a suuicidddal way.... i statead to cry cuz i was afraid hhe would c ommit suicide..... “its ok enoby...” saiid vampir e comfortly.... “ill make him feel betttter.....” “u mean YOU’LL ggo fuck him wonttt you!!!!” i shouted angrily.... t hen i ran 2 get draco... vampire came too... “draco pls come!!!!!” he BEGAN to cry..... tears of blood came down his pail face..... i wuz so turned on cuz I love s ensitive bi guyz..... (if ur a homophone den fuk of!!!!) and tth en…………………………....... we herd sum footsteps!!!!! vampire got ou t his blak invincibilittty coke.... we both gut und er it.... we saw the janitor mr... norrrias there,,,, shoutin angrialy wittt h a flashlight in his HAND. “WHOSE there!!!” he shouted angrily...... we saw filth come..... he weant unda da invisibility cloke and staurt ed to meow loudly.... “is any1 there!!!” yelled mrr..... norris... “no fuck u u preppy little poser sunnn of a fukccin bich!!!!” vampire said un der his breas t in a disgussted way.... “excus me!!! excus me who ssed dat!!!!!!” yelled mr.... norris.. den he heard filch meow... “filth is der annny1 unda da cloa k!!!!!” he asked..... filth nodded..... and then………………………....vam pir frencheddd mme!!!!!! he DID it jus aas…………………….......... mr...... norris was takin of da cloakk!!!!1 “what da-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruionin away frum him.... and den wei saw draco cryin n bustttin in2 tearz and slittin his rists outside of da schoo l.. “drracoe!!!!!” i cried.... “r u okay???” “i guess thouugh...” dra co weepeid...... w e went back to our co ffins fr enchhin each other.... draco and i decided t o watch lake placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together... as i wuz about 2 put in the video,,, my eyes rolled up and suddenly i haad a vision of s omethin thaut was happenin now.. there was a knok o n th e door and fug and da mystery of magic walked into the school!!!!1   -- all day evvveryone taelked about the misery of magic.... well anyway,,,, i woke up the nextt day.... i was ien my coffin so ia opened ttthe door... i was wearin bllak lacey leather pajamas... then i gasped.... standin in front of mei where………………..... b;loody mary,,,, vamppire,, diabolo,,, draco,,,, dracula and willow!!!! i opened my crims on eyeis..... willow was wearin a tight black leather top with piuctures of blllooody roses all over it... under that she wart a black poofy SKIRT wit la ce ON it and black gothic boots thatt was attached toa the top..... vvvampire was wearin a baggy simpplei plan t-shirtt and baggy black pa nts and vans.... draco wwwas wearin a black mcr t-shirt and bl ak jeans and a leather jacket... he looked just likee gerard way,,, and almost as FUCKING s exy... vampire louo ked likeo joel madden... b’lloody mairy was wearin ai tight black pooufy gothic dress that shei had RIPPED so it sho wed of ALL her clearage wi th a WHITE apron that ssaid ‘bich’ and other sweear words and mcr lyrics on it KIND of like onee DRESS i had seen amy lee wear once... darkkkness (who is jennnny) was ther e tttoo... she was weavin a ripped gothic bblack dress with ripped stuff all OVER it and a lace-up top thin and black pointy boots..... so were crab annd goyle...... it turns out ttt hat darknessss,,,, d iabolo,, crab and goyle’s dad was a vampiree.... he committed suiocide by slittin his w rists with a razor... he had raped them and stuf f beffforea too.... they all got so depressed THAT they beca me goffik and converted to stanism.....“omfg” i yielded as i jumped up...... “why the fuck are u all HERE?” “ENOBY sommethin is r eally fu cked up...” draccco said..... “o k but i need to put my fu ckin clothes on first....” i shouted angrily..... “it’s allll right.. we have to go now and u lo ok kawaii anyway.... youir so fuckin beautiful......” draaco said in a sexy voice...... “oh all right....” i saidd smiling.. “ buut u have to tell ME WHY your bein all erec tive.....” “i will i will....” he said.... so i juast put on s ome black eoyeiliner, black llipstick and r ed eyeshadowww and white fooundation... then i came.. we all went outsid e the great hal aond looked in f rom a widddow.... a fuckin PREP called britney from griffindoor was standdin next to us...... she was wearin ai pink mini an d a hilary duff t-shirt soo weo put up our middle fingeers at he r..... inside ttthe great hall we could see dum bledork.... cornelia fu dgeid was there shoutin at dumbledoure..... doris rumbridge was there too..... “this cannot be!!!!!!” she shouted angrrrily..... “the schoaol must be closed!!!!!” “the bark lord is plannin to kill the STUDENTS!” yelled cornelia fudge.... “u are not fit to be theu prrr incipal a ny l onger!!!” yeulleddd RUMBRIDGE. “u are too old aand your alzheimers is dangerous!! u must retry or voldemort will KILL your students!!!!” “very well....” d umbledore said a ngrily.... “butt WE cannot do this... we can’t cloose the school...... there is only one person who is capable of killin voldemort and she is in the school...... and her nameu is……………… …………………………………………………......enony dark’nnneuss dementia rav en way...” draco,, craub,, goyle, d arknes s,,,, willow,,,, vaumpire and b’looedy mary looked at each other………i ga sped.... -- th e door opeaned and proffesor rummmbriadge and cornelia fudge stomped out ANGRILY. theen dumbledum and rumbridge sawed us... “mr...... way what the beep are u doing!!!!!” rumbridge shouted angrily... dumbledore blar ed at her... “oopss she made a mistake!!!!” heo corrrrupted heir...... “she means hio everybody cum in!!!!!!” well we all came in angrily..... so did all THE other students.... i sat between daorkn ess aund draco and opposiutee b’lo od y mary.. crab and goyle startead 2 make some morbid jokes..... thhey both looked exactly like vil le volllo.... i eight some co unt chocula and drank som BLOOD from a cup...... then i herd so meonne shootin angr ily... i looked behind me it wwwas………vampire!!!!! he and drrraoco were shoaotin at eachother... “vampire, draco wtf??” i asked... “u fuckin bustard!!!” yelled draco at vampire.... “i want to shit next to her!!!!!1” “no i do!!!” s houtead..... “no she doesn’t fuackin like u,, u son of a bitch!!!!” yeulled draco.. “noo fuck u motherfuucker sshheo laves me not you!!!!!” shouteddd vampire..... and then……………… he juommmped on draco!!!! (no not in daat way u perv) thhey STARTED to fight andd beat up each other..... dumbldore yelled at th em but they didn’t stop.... allll of a sudden…… a tearrible man withh red eyes and noo nos e flew i n on his brooamstick...... he had no nose and was wearin a gray rrrobe..... all t he glass in the window he f lew thru fell apart... britney that fuckin prep starteed TO c ry... vaumpire and draco stopped fighhtiang…..i ssshopped eating…..everyone gasped... da room fell silennnt………………….....volzzemor t!!! “ebobby…............ebony… …....” darth valeir s ed evilly in his raspy voice... “thouo havfe failled ur miassion... now i shall kill thou aind i shallll kill vaimpire as well.... if thou does not kill hium before then i shall kill drraco toio!!!!!” “plz don’t make me kkill him plz!!!” i b egged...... “no!!!!” he laughed crudely.. “kill him,,,, orr i shall kill him anyway!!!” then he flew away cacklling..... i bust into tears.... d raco and va mpirea came ttto contort me.... SUDDENLY my eyes rolled up s o they looked all cool and gothic...... i hhhad a vision were i saw some lightin flash and then voldremoat comin to kill draco while draco slit his WRISTS in a deppressed way..... “no!!!!” i screamed sexily..... suddenly i locked up and stopped havin the vision..... “ebony ebony aure u alright??????” asked draco in a worrieed voice..... “yeah yeah......” i said sad ly as i got up... “everyf ing’s all right enoby....” said vampire all sensetive.... “no its not!!!!” i shouted aa ngrily... tearz of b lood went down my face..... “omfg whaat if i’m gettin poassess ed like innn da rin 2!!!!!” “its ok gurl..” sauiod b’loody mary... “maybe u sshould ask proffesour si n ister about what theu visioen s meaun thouggh.....” “ok bich....” i said sadly and den we went...   -- weill we had deviaition nexxxt so i got to ask proffessor trevolry about the visions.... “konnichiwa everybody commme in......” said PROFFESOR sinister in japanese.... she smelleddd at m e with hher got hic bla ck lipstiack..... shee’s da coolllest fuc kin teacher ever... she had long dead black hair with blood rred tips and red eyes..... (hhr mom woz a vampppire.... she’s also haf japanese so she speaksss it and everyfing...... shhe n b ’loody mry geot along grate) she’ss rreially yo ung for a teacher... 2day she was WEARING a bllack leatheur top with rrred lace and a long gofffik b lack rippeddd dress... we weunt inside the black ccla ssroom with pastors oof emi ly the strong..... i raced my hand... ia wasss wearin some black naie poeliish with red p entagrams on it.... “what is it ebony????” she asked..... “hey i l ove ur nail polish wherrre’d u get iit,,,, HOT topik???” “yeah....” i ANSWERED. allll the preps who didn’ t know what ht was gaave me weird looks...... i gave them the middle finger... “well i hhhave to talkk to u about some fin gs... wheun do u want to due it?????” “ho about now??????” she asked.... “okkk...” i said.. “ok class fuckin dismissed every1..” proffffesor trevolrry said and SHE let every1 go...... “ex cept for u britney....” she POINTED at britney and sum other preaps... “pls do exorcize (geoddit) 1 on pagge 3...” “ok i’m havin lotzzz oaf visions...” i sai d iin a worried voicei... i’m so worrioed is draco gong 2 die... well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in.... i lookeddd at it.... “what do u c??” s he asked.. “i said i see a black ggothic skull aind A pen tagraam......” suddenly there was a knoac k at the ddoor... i looked at it... it was draco... hei was looikin really sexy wearin a black leather facet,, a black gothic linkin park t-shirt and blak congreuss shoes...... “okay u can go now, see ya cunt...” said proffesor sinist er..... “bye b itch...” i sa id wavin g... i weant to DRACO and vampire was sittin next to him... we both followed draco togeth er and i was so exxhibittted.....   -- i wais so excited... I fellowed draco wanderin if we where goin 2 do it again..... we went outside and the n we went into draco’s black car.... “ebony what the fuck d id profesor trevolry say.....” whispered draco pottin HIS gothic whit hand wieth bvlak nail polish on min e... “she sssaid she would tell me what the visions meant torroemow..” i gggrumbled in a sexy voice.. he tooak out a heroo in cabaret and spiked it,, and gave it to me to spork.. hee started to fly the car into a ttree.... we went to the top of it... draco putt on some mcr.. “annnd all the ttthingsss that u nev e r ever told me and all THE sm iles that are ever gonna haunt me...” sang gerard’s sexy voice..... we s tarte d tilin of each other’s cloves fevenntly.... he took of my blak thong and my black leather b ar..... i took OF his black bbboxers... then………… …………… he put his tr obbin you-know-what in my tool sexily.... “omfgg draco draco!!!!” i sc reameed havin an org ism..... we STATED fr enchin p assively.... sssuddenly………… i fell asl eeap.... i started havin a dream.. in it a black guy was shootin two goffik meun wit h LONG black hair..... “no!!!! pls don’t fuckin kill us!!!!!1” they pleaded but he just kept shootin them..... heo ran away in a red car.... “no!!!!!! oh my fuckin god!!!!11” i shou ted in a scared voice...... “eubony what’s wrong???” draco asked me as I woke uppp openin my icy blue eyes..... i STARTED to c ry and tears of blood wwwent dddown my face... i told draco to cccall vampire.... he did it wioth hies blak l ikin park mobile.... butt the woorst thin was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… luc ian a nd seriouos!!!!111   -- a few mutates laeteer vampire camme 2 dau tree..... he was wearin a blak leather jaickson,,,, black llleather pants and a good chrallotte t-shirt...... “hi vampire...” i said flirtily as iu starttted to sob.... dracoi h ugged me seuxily tryont TO co mfrot me... i started toe cry tears of blood and thennn tolddd them what happeined..... “oh fuck it!!” vampire shouted angrily..... he4 started to cry sadly.... “what fuckin dick did thattt!!!!” “i don’t know....” i SAID. “now come on we have 2 tell dumbledor...” we ran out ouf theo tree aend in2 da castle... dumblydor was sittin in HIS office.... “sire are dads have been shot!!!!” draco said whillle we w ipped sum tears froom his white face..... “einoby had a visioon ia n a dreem...” dubleodre started to cockle...... “hahaha ha!!!! and how duie u aspe ct me to knnnow ebony’s not divisional????” i glared AT dumbbb ledore.... “look motherfucker......” he said angrily as dumbeldore gasped (c is da to ot of crakter).. “ u know very wellll that i’m not deciasional.... now ggeut some fuckin ppl out there to look for seriess and lucian- poernto!!!!” “okay......” he said in a in timmmated VOICE. “were are they?????” i fought about it... then all of a sudden…...... “long don..” i said..... i told him which street...... he went and cal leud some people aund did some stuff... after a fe w mistunes he came baack and sauid people were goin ouot lookin for them.... after a while sss omeone called him agaai n... he said that they had been founnnd...... draco,, VAMPIRE and i all left t o our roo ms to gether.... i we nt with draeco to wait in the nurses office WHILE vampi ree went to slit his wrists i n his roo m.... we loioked at eachhh other’s goithic,,, d erperessed eiyes... then,,,, we kisssed.... SUDDENLY serious an d lucian came in onn stretchers………………………......and proffesor sinister was behind ttthem!!!!!1 -- euvery1 in the room stated to crrry happly- i had saved them.... drako,,, luci an, serious bond vampire all came to h ug me.... the nurse STARTED tto GIVE them medicinei...... “cum oun enoby... ” ssaid prouffesor sinnnatra..... she was wearin a gothic blak leadeer dreuss with a coarset top and reoalll vampir blood on it and f ukin black platinum boots.. “i haove to tell u the fuckin perdition....” i locccked at lucciaen,,, serifs, drak e and vampire.. they nodded... i smelled happily and went into a dark room...... i had cchangeod profesor sin ister took o ut some black CARDS. she started to look into a blaick crucible baoll.... she said…………………… … “tara, i see drak times ARE near..” she said badly...... she PEERED into da balls... “u see,,,, u mu st go back in time.....” she took out a time-ton er like b ’loody marry had.. “when vo ldeminnt was in hogwarts before h e became powerful he gut his heaurth borken...... now do u fink he would still become volllxemort if he wais innn love????” i shook my head.... “u must go back in timeu and sedouce him... iat is the only way.... ifff heo is still evil thein u musst kill him.... u can commme to my room tomorrow aend u cann do it...” “okay...” i said sadly...... we did dethzzz tuch sin...... i went o utside again sadly.. “what fuckin happenned???” asked draco annd vampppiare.... “yeah what happenedd?????” asked darkne ss,,, willow and boldy maery?? i was abo ut to tell them butt ever y1 was there.... they were cel ebratin llucian and s iriuss bein fond.... everyone waos prroud of me buett i jut wonttte d 2 talk 2 draco..... they were cheesin my name and s ome reporters were there,,,, TRYING to interview dumblydore...... a banner was put up... lotz of fuckin prepz were there oviouis ly trin 2 be b goffik we rin the him sign on theirrr handz- depite them not havin aekshelllly heard of him..... even MR. noris looked happy... a blak and red cake had been bro ught out.... crab be and g oyke set up some fireworx in tthe shapppe of skulls from wesle y’s whizard wis es.... i put on my invisibili ty coke with vampire and draco AND we s neaked outsiede 2gettther......   -- we wenttt in2 a blak room.... THE wallz weire blak wi th portraits of gothic bands lik mcr,,, gc and marlin mason all over theom.. A big black coffi n was in the middle.... red vevlet lined da blak box..... ttthere were three chairs made of boneis wi th real skullz in dem... i wuz wearin a blak cccorset bar wiff puirple stuff on it,,, fishn et suckings andd a blak leather thong underneaath.... i sat down one of da chairs dispeirssedly... so did drako and vampiure..... “are u okay???” vampir asked pottttin his albaes tard hand on mine... he was wearin bblack na il polish.... i was wearin blak nail polish wittth red crosses on it... “yah i guaess...” i saiid sadl y...... drako also pot his hhhand on mine sexily... i sm iled saodl y with my bbblak lipstick.... “the problllem is………… ……………....i have to s educe vvvolxemort..... ill have 2 go bak i n time” dddraco started TO cry sadly.... vaimpire huugged him... “itz okay eiboby......” he said finally.... “b ut whait abouat me????? ur not gonna brake up or a nyfing,, are yoou??” “of coarse not!!!” ia gasped..... “reallly????” he asked...... “sure..” i said.... we frenched sexily..... vampire lllooked at us longingly..... then………… i took off draco’s mcr shrift and seductvely tooe k of his pants...... he was hung lik a stalloin e... h e haad replaced the vampire taottoo that said enoby on it.... black roses were around it.... I gasssped... he lookd exactly liik gerard way.... vampire toook a vido cammmera... (i had sed it wuz ok b4).. i took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r liuf.. we staarted frechin as we climbed into the cofffin.. he put hhis spock in my you-know-what and passiovely we DID it...... “i love u eboby..... oh l et me feel u I need 2 feel u..” he screamed as wei got an orgasm.... we watched vampir e filmed everythin perfectly.... suddenly………………………….. “what thei fuck r u doing!!!” iit was……… …………… …….....snope and profe sor mcgoggl e!!!!!111   -- “ouh my satan!!!!1” we screaamed as we jamppped out of da coffin.... snappp aind professor mcgoonagle staerted to shhoot at us angrily... “cummm now!!!1!!!!!” pr eacher mcgongel yieldeddd.... we did guiltily..... we left the room puttin on our clothes.... snoop garbed the carammel aond put it in his pocket.. “hey what t he fuck!!!!!!111” vampire shooteidd angrily... “ yeah buster what the fuck are u goin to do with the fuckin camera?????” draco demonded all protective,,,, lookin at me longgglley wit h his gothiec red eyes.... “look,,,, dumblehoer noes your litttle secret and if u do dis again,,,, then u will go to st mannngo’s.. so give back da camera!!1111” hahahaha the mystery of moigic thinks he IS c razy THERE is no way deay wwil believe hiim... snoop laughe d meanly...... “yes so shut youir mputh u inlosent fools!!!!” yelled proffesor mccgoggle.... she made us cum into a weird room with white stones a ll arrround it.... t here were alll these werid tools IN it.. dracoa started to cry all sexy aind sexitive (geddit kooz hes a sexbom lol tom fellnot rulezzz 4 liff but nuit aes muxh a s gearard ur SEX on legz i luv u u fokeng rok mary me!!!!!111)..... i started to cry tearz of bloeod (it hapnnz in vrampir kronniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!!!!1)...... vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my RED eyes... and then………………..... he and snoop both took outt gun s usin magic... THEY started t o shoot each oother angrilly..... NON of the bal lots GUT on eachodder yet..... i toiok out my wand.. “c rosio!!!” i shoutead.... snap statteed 2 scram he dropd da gun.. but iut was too late.. both of them had run out of ballets... i stopped da cur se.... professor mcgoogle did a sp ell so that we were all c hainnned up.... sheo took oeut a box of tools...... den shee said “ok serverus i’m goin 2 go now....” she left...... snap started to laugh evillly.... vampire st arted to cry... “it’s ok enobbby....” said draco.... “evergreen will be all right... remember the cideo u took of SNAKE.” SNAPE laughed again...... and then..........he took o ut some whips!!!!1!!!!1 111 -- “no!!!!11” we screamed sadly...... snap stated loafin m eanly...... he took out a kameora aunvill y..... then…………………… he came tords darko!!1!!!!!! he took summm stones out of his poket.... HE put da stones around draco and nit a candle..... “what the fuck r u doing!!!!” i shooted arrngrialy... snoop laughed meanly..... he polled down his pants.... i gasped- thereu was a dork mark on his yoau-know-wwwut!!!!!11!!!! he waved hiss wannnd and a nife came.... HE gave da knife 2 me.... “u muost stab vrompire.....” h e said to me.... “if u doan’t then i’ll rap draco!!!!1” “no u fuckin bastrad!!!!!!1” i yielded.. but den draco looked at me sadly withh his evil goffiok red eyes dat looked so depressant AND seoxy...... he l ookd exactly like a pentragr am (lol geddit koz im a satanist) BETWEEN kurt cobaien and ggerard.... but then i looked at vammpire and he looked so smexy too wwwif his goff ik black HAIR. i thoug ht oef DA time when we screwed and the time i did it WITH draco and dumb lydore cammme and the TAME whe re draco almost commited suiciade and vaumpire wuz so sportive..... snip e laugh ed angrily.... he STARTED to prey to volxemort.... he started to do an incapacitatioin dancin arouund the stokes whippin DRACO and vampire.... suddenly an idea i had... i clozd my eyes and usin MY vampire powers i sent a telepppaethetic massage to drako AND vampire so they would destruct snape...... “dumbealdork will get ua!!!” dddraco shooted.... “yah ju st waiit ubtil da mysteory find outtt!!!!11” vampppire yelled.... meanwhiele i took out my wand.. “u ridiculuos dondderhed!!!111” snoop YIELDED. he took off all of drico’s clothes.... just as he was aboiut to rape him……………………..... “crosioi!!!!!” i shited pointin my woundd...... snoop scremed annnd started runnin arround da rooim screming... meanwhile iu grabed my blak mobile and sent A txt 2 serious..... i stoppe d douin cruciao.... “u dunderhed!!!!!111 im goin to kill-” shooted snape but ssud denly se rverus came...... s nake put the whiap behhhiond his bak..... “oh hel lo sev I wuz just TEACHING them sumthing....” he lied.... but suddenly luasian and profeso r trevolry came in2 da room and they and serious unlocked the chains and put dem around snap.... then pproffesor trevolry saaid ‘ccome on eebon y let’ss go.....”   -- “i alwa ys knew u were onnn volddd emor t’s side,,,, u sun of a biitca (bu fy rox!!!111)....” seorious saiod 2 SNAPE. “NO i’m not i was teachin them somefing!!!1” sna p clamed.... “oh fuckin yeah???” i took some blak volremortserum out OF my poket and gave it to serrverus...... he made snap dirnk it.... he did arngrily..... then luscccious took out a tape reecorder and sstartead playin i t whiole he did curses on snap..... then proffesor sinister anddd lucian made us get out wif ttthem whil e snape told his secretes..... lucian took vampure and dr aco to the NURSE aftear thankin me a millon t imes..... profesor tttrev olry took me to a dark room.... now i wuz goin to go back in time to sedouce volxeamort... movin POSTERS of mcr and nrivana were aill ove r.... hermoine, darkness and willow caume too.. B’LOODY mary gave ME a blak BAG fromm tom rid’s store.... “whatz in da bag??????” i asked proffesor trevolry...... “u will c....” she saiad..... i opened thee bag.. in it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather g othic dress... it had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da LEG. i ppput it on..... my frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots willow ha d chosssen.... wiilloaw and darkness helpeid me put oin blackkk eyeliner and blod-red lip shtick..... “u LOOK fuckin KAWAII, bitch.....” b’loody mary said...... “fangs....” i said... “ok noww you’re goin too goa bauck in tim....” sa idd proffesor sinister.... “u will hhhave to do it in a few sessionz....” she gave me a blaek gun.... i put it in a strap on my fioshnetz like in redisnet evill.. then ssshe gave me a black time- tuner..... “after an ho ur use DA time torner to go back here.... ” proffesor trevolry said.... then she and b’loody mary put a pensssive in front of me..... every1 went in front of it...... “good luk!!!!1 ” e verryoene shooted..... darkess and willow gave me deth’s touch sin.... then………........ i jumped sexily IN2 da pensive... suddenly i was in fornt of teh schoo l..... in front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz i had ever seen.... he was werin long blak hair,,,, kinda like MIKEY way only black.... heo had gren eyeos like biillie joe amstrun g and pale whit skin... he wuz wearin A blak rippeddd UP suit wif vans.... it was… …………………....ttom bom bodil!!!!1111  -- “h i..” i said ffl irtily...... “im enoby way da ne w student....” i shok my pallle handz wif their blak noil polish wwwif him.... “da name’s tom.....” he sssaid... “but ue kan call me satan.... datz ma middle namm” w e shok hands... “well come onn we haeve 2 g o upstairs.....” satan said.... i followeddd him..... “hhey satan……...........do u happen to be ao fan of gren day??” (sinz mcr and evinezenz donnt exist yet den) ii asked... “oh my fukin god, howww did u knoow???” satan gasped...... “auctually i like gc a lot too...”(geddit cozzz gc did th at song i just wanna live ttthat’s ounded reoally 80s) “omg me too!!” i replied happily.... “gueess what theoy have a c oncert in hogsment......” satan whispered...... “hogsment?????” i asked.... “yeaoh thaat’s what they usead to caulll it in t hese time before it became hogsmeaode in 2000...” HE told me all sekrtivly..... “anddd theres a really coool shop caolled HOT-“ ‘TOPIC!” i finshed, haeppy ag ain.. he frone d confusedlly...... “noo its called h ot ishoo.....” he smiled skrtvv li again.... “then inn 1998 dey changd it to hot topic......” he moaned.... “ohh.....” now everythin waus makin sense for mei..... “so is dumblydor your princepill????” I shouted..... “uh-huh.... ” he looked at his black nails.... “im in slitherin’” “omfg shme too!!” i shrrriedked.... “u go to THIS skull???? ”(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.... “yah that’s why im hereu im new....” i smelled happieli..... suiddeinly dumblydore flew in on hios broomstuck and started shreddin aot us angrily... “noe talkin IN theu halls!!!!!” he haad short blonde hair and was wearin a polo s hirt from amrikan ogle outffters... “stupid goffs!!!!” satan rolled his eyes.... “his so MEAN to us goffs and pppunks justtt bec ose we’re in slythherine and we’re not preps......” i turned around angrily.... “actuailly i fink meo be i ts bec os ur da BARKE lord....” “wwtf??” he asked angrily..... “oh nuffin.....” i said sweetly.... then suddenlyn……………….... the floor opeaned.. “om fg no i sceamed as I feel doiwn.... everyone looked at me weirdly....” “hey where r u goin???” satan asked a s i f ell...... i got out of theo hole n it was baok in the pensive in pr ofessor trevolry’s classroom..... dum blydum wuz dere...... “dumblydor e i think i juest mmmet u.....” iu said.... “oh yeah i rememba that....” dumblydor said,,, tryin to be all goffik.. sinister came in.. “hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby w hat da hell r u doing????” ”um....” i looked at her... “oh yeah I FORGOT bouut that..” “wth how????” i scream ed forgettin she was a teacher for a second.. but shes a goff so its ok.... professo r sinster looked sad... “um i was drinkin voldeomoartserum...” she started to cry black tears of deepressioin..... dum blydum didn’t know about them... “hey r u cryin tears of b lood?????” he asked curioeusly,, tuchin a teaar.. “fuck off!!!” we both said annd dumbl ydum took his hand away.... p roafessor sinsttterr started crryin again IN her chair,, sobbin liampid tears.. “oemfg enoby…i th ink im addicted to voldemortseir um..” -- “OH my fukin god!!!!1” i shooted sadly... “shud weu get u 2 st mmmanga’s,,, bitch????” “hel no!!” she said.. “lizzen egogy,, i need ur help... nex TIM u go bak in tim,,, do u f ink u kod ask tom andorson 4 sum help????” “sure i SAID sadly.... i went outside the door... draco w as there!!!111 he wuz wearin aa big blak gc tshit whi ch wuz his pan a mas.... “heey sexxy......” i said... “how’ddd it go enoby????” he aisked in his voice was so sexy and LOW kinda like gerar d way when hes talking.. “fiin e...” i repoinded...... we stareud 2 go bak in2 da dorm.... “how far did u go wif satan????” drakoo aisked jeoaloussl y.... “not 2 far, lol.....” i borked.... “will u hav to do it w ith him?????” draco asked angstily..... “i hop not 2 far!!!!!111” i shouted angrily..... den i felt bad 4 sshootin at him... i saiud so rry...... we frenched... “what happened 2 snipe??????” i growled... “u willl see...” draco giggled mistressssly.. he opeined a door……………snap nd lumpkin werz there!!11 serious waz pokerin dem by stagin d em wiff aa blauk NIFE. “NOOOO plllz!!!!111 1” lumpkinnn bagged as seirious started 2 suk his blooid.... i laffed statisticcally..... i tok some photons of him aend SNAP bin torqued...... (ok i nno dis iz men but fink abot it pppl dey r pedoz nd snap trid 2 RAP de m andd nnneway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolzzz)...... we took sum of snipee’s blod den dddrako and i wei nt bak 2 our roomz.. we sat oon mmmy go ffik blak coffin... my cloves werea kinda drity so i POT on a bl ak leaother outfit fingie kinda like da 1 suelennnee haz in u ndrewor ld.... (if u haven’t herd of it den fuk u!!!!!111) ..... i put on some blak platform high heelz..... dark o put on ‘desolition liverz’ by mcr... den…………………………………………..we storted 2 take of euach othei rz clozez... ie tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak,, lolz... we started 2 mak OUT LIK in da grudddge.... he pot his we tnes in my u-know-what sexily.... i gut an orgy.... “oh draco!!!!111111!!!!1 oh mi fukin gud draco!!1111” i screoemed passsivvely as he got an eructatioin...... “i luv u taebory......” he whispred sexily and den we fell aspleep loll.... -- i wooak up in da coffin de next day..... draco waz gone..... i gggot up and put on a blak tiogght sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end..... there wuzzz red korset stuff goin up da fornt and da bak and iot came up 2 my knees..... there wuz ao slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth.. i pottt on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots.... suddenly………………….... sorious cocked on dae door.. i hopened it...... “hi ibony....” hhe saiid... “gezz wut u ha vei 2 cum 2 profesour sinistor’s office....” “ok.....” i said in a depprezzd voice..... i had wanted to fuk draco or maybe les sen to mcr or evonezcence.. i came anyway..... “so what the fuck happenedd 2 snipe and loopin??” i ASKED sorious flirtillly...... “i fuckin torturrred them.....” he answered in a STATISTIC way... “they r in abkhazzzian nnow,,,, lol......” i laugheod evilly.... “where r draco and vampirai???” i muettered... “dey are xcused form skool 2day.....” sodo mizzze moaned sexily..... “rite now they arrei watchin da nigggtmare b4 xmas....” we went into da office..... proffesorrr sinister was there... she waes weearin a goffik blak dress that was alll riepp e d all over it kinda lik da one amy lee wears in this pic ( http/ she wuz drinkin some volximortserum...... sheo toiok ouit d a pensiv and the time-torner..... “enoby,, u will hav e to do anozzer session now...... alsou i need u to get ME da cure 4 bein adikited...” she said sadly... “good luc k.... fangz!!!!!” and then………....ii jumped into the prinsivee again... suddenly i looked around……… ……i was in da grate hall eatin count chorcula.... it WAS mourrrning..... i WAS siotttin next to SATAN. on a table was a tttall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes werin a suit and bblak cronvrese shoes.. h e loioked just like charlyn manson.... i noticed…… he was drinkin a portent..... “whose he!!!11” i asked.... “oh, datz pproffesor SLUTBORN.” ss atan saiod.. “he’ss da portents teacher………….........ebony??????” “yah??? ” i asked... “did u know DAT m arylllin mason is playin ion hogsemade tonight?? and they r showin the exercise at da movies b4 dat....” “yah??” “well…...............want 2 go 2 da contort and DA moavie wif me??????”   -- ie went in2 da jew roeom finkin of satan... suddenly i GASPED………………..DRACO wuuz there!!!!!!111 i graspeud...... hhe locked as hut as evaa werrin blak ledd er pants,,,, a blak lonken prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner... “draco what da FUK r u dongg!!!!111111” i gosped...... “h uh????” he ASKED. then I remembred... it wuzn’t draco.. it was lucan!!!1 he stil had two arms.... “oh hi luacian!!!!!!1” i sed.... “im ebony the new studddent lol we shook handz.....” “yah satan told mea abot you.....” lusian said... he pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik gu yz...... theay where sitin in ao corner ku tting... it wuz serious, vampire’s daud and………………snap!!! all of thhem were wearin blak eyeliner and blak good ch ral ootte band shirts..... “lizzzen i’m in a goth band wif thosea gu ys..” he saiid.. “were playin 2nite at da marylin mason show as back-up... re ally i eskedd.. “yeah......” he said.... “were CALLD xblak xtearx.. i play teh gutter... sp artacus plays da drums” he said pontin to him.... “snap plays THE boss...... and jamez plays THE guitar to even fo we call him samaro,, after samara in da ring......” “hey bastards....” i told THEM they gave me dethz tuoch sin.... suddddenly i gasped AGAIN. “but don’t u have a lea d singer!!!!!” i asked... lucian looked dawnn sa dly..... “we uzd to but she did..... she contempted sssuicide by siltin her ri sts....” “oh my fukin god!!!!11 datz soe fukin sad!!!!!1” i gasped.... “its okkaoy BUT we need a new led black personnn...” saimaro sa id.... “wel………........i saiad im in a bnad m yself..” “ rilllly????” asked snappp.... ia cu dnt belive it.... he used 2 b goffik!!111 “yeah were called blody gothik rose 666..... do u wannau hr mee sing????” yeah s aiod everyone.... so the guys TOK out der gguittarz.... they began to PAY A song bi (geddit kouz bi guy z r s ooo ssexah!!!11) gurn day.. “i wok dddis EMPT stret on da bolev rad of brrroken dremz...” i sang sexily (i dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song)........ every1 gasped.... “enopby???? will uo join da band??? plz!!!!!!1” begged l ucian, samoro,,, serioous aenddd snap... “um……....ok.....” i shrugged.. “are we gong to pllay tonight??????” “yah..” they saiid..... “ok..” i said buat i new dat i had 2 get a new outfiat.... i walkeud oautside wonderin how i kud go forward in tim e... suuddenly someoene jumppped in fo rnt of me.... it wuz….....morty mcfli!!!!!1]] he was werin a blak bn addd tshrit and blak bagy jeans..... “what da hell r u dong here!!!!11” i asked..... “i wial hhelp U go frowad ien tim enoby.....” he said siriusly den………......hhe tooik out a blak t im machinnne.... i WENT in2 it and……………………...........sudeinly i wuz forward in tim!!111   -- i louked airound in a dep resead way.... su ddenly i saw PROFESOR ssinister.... b’lody mmary, socrates and dr aco,,,, vampire and willow were theiir to...... “omfg sorius i saw u nd samaro anddd snip nd everyone!!!11111 i kant BELEEV snap uzd 2 b GOFFIK!111111” “YAH i noa....” seri ou s s aid sadly.. “oih hey there bitch.....” profesor trevolry said in an emo voice dirnkin some v olxemortserom..... hii fuker....” i said..... “lizzen, sattan asked me outtt too a gottik cornet and a moviie sso i need a sexah new outfit for da date.... ALSO i’m playng in a gothic ba nd so i neue d an ooatfit for that ttoo......” “oh my satan!!!!1” (geddit llolz koz shes gofik) gasped b’lody mary..... “want 2 go to hot topiok to shop 4 ur outfiut??” “omfs,, letz have a groop kuttin SESSION!11” said profesor trevolry..... “i c an’t fuckin wait 4 dat but we nee d 2 get sum stuaff first....” saaid willow.... “yah we nneed sum PORTIONS for profesor trrreuvolry so she wonn t be adikted 2 v olxemoirtserum anymore nddd alssso…………......sum luv potion 4 enoby..” darrrko said resultantly..... “well we have pppotions klass now....” wialloww saidd so le t’s go.... we went sexily to potionz class... but snap wasn’t there.... instead there was…………………………………………cornelio fuck!!!!11111 “hey wherei t he fuck is dumbl ydore!!!!!111” draco shouoted angrily...... “stfu!!!!1” shooted cor ne liae fuck.... “hei is in ABKHAZIAN now wif snip and loo pi n he IS old and week he has kanc er..... “now do ur work!!!!111” my friendz and i talked arngrily... “can u BELEVE snap uosed too be gottik!!!1” vampire asked surprisedly.... “dautz iot!!!!11” cornelio fu k shooted arngrily.... “im geuttin profesor bridge!!!!111” hhhe stomped out an grily... mi frendz a nd i began talkin again..... i began to drink some bl od mixed wif beer.... suddenly i saw haargrid in DA cupboardd.... “wtf is he doing????” i asked..... then i looked AT draco.. he wuz wearin tonz of eyeliner nd he lllocked shexier den eva..... sudde nly……………“h argrif wut da fok r U douing!!!!11” he shooted.... i looked around……………....hairg rid wuz puttin sumfin in mmy glass of blod!!!!11 darko and vampire started 2 beuat him up sexily... “god U r such a p osr!!!!!1” i shooted at hairgrid.... suddenly io looked ar what hei was puttin in da blood..... it WAS………………AMNESIA porti on!!!!!111   -- ddarko’s pont of view lol vampire and i chaind hairgrid 2 da floor... “oeh mi fuckin sautan!!!11” enoby said...... she wuz so hot.... “maybe i cud uze amnesiea potion 2 ma ke sssatan foll in lovvve wif ME faster!!!!1” “but u r so sexy aand wonderful anewa y tata,” said vampire.... “why would u nneed it?????” “to make evveryfin go faster lol....” said enoby..... “but u wont have to do it wif him or anyfinggg,,, will u????” i asked jelosly.... “omfg u guyz r so scary!!!!1 1” said britney, a fuckin prep.. “shut the ffuk up!!!!1” said wiallow.... “ok well anyway lets goi 2 profesor trevoil ry’s room....” dr ac o,,,, ebory and i wenttt to profesor siniater’s room... but profeso r sinister wasn’t there.... instead ttom rid was.. oh hi fuckers he said.. lizzen,,,, i got u sum kewl new ccclovez.. i took oiutt da cloves from da bag... it was a goffik blak leather MINISKIRT that said ‘666’ on da bak,,, blackkk stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corseat..... “omg fa ngz!!!!!” i saoid huggin hium in a GOTHIC way..... i took da clothes in da bag..... “ok profesor sinister isnt hr what the fuk should wee do??????” asked draco.... suddenly he lokeed aot a siogn on da BLAK wall.... “oh my fukin satan!!!!1” i screamed as I read it..... on it said evvry1 profeesor sinister ias away... sheu is tooa ggottik she is in azkhabbbian now.. classes shal be taughhht by dubleudork whhho is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now.. sincerely profeesor rumbridgge.... “omfg!!!111” i shoteod arngrillly... “how could they do that!!!11” suddeinly dumblydore came... “what dao hell r u dong in my ofic e!!!1” he began to shoot angrily... sudwenly i SAW morty mc fly’s blak TIM machine!!!!!111 i jumped seductivly in2 it leavin draaco aend vampirrre..... sudenly i wuz back in tim!!11 i looked arround.... it wa s……………proffesor sluttborn’s efface!!!!! i s neaked around... suddenly i saw da amnesiae potion on his desk..... it wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it..... it was the shape oof a crooss..... i put it ie n my poket.. suddenly da door opened it wuaz…….......profesor sslutgorn!!!!!11 omg wut r u doin fuker he shooted a ngrily i don’t KNO wut da fuk r u doin i shouted angrily.... “oh sorry i WUZ just lookin AROUND koz i thought it wuz class.... ” u said fffinally hopin he cou ldn’t c da potion in ur pocket..... “oh ok u can go now....” s aid pprofesor slutborn... u went to the ccconmen room afterr puttin on my clouthes... silas,,,, samauro and sssnap were the re pppracticin vampirez will never hurt U by mcr... “oh hi u guuys....” i said seductive ly.... “wheres satann?????” “ohhh he’s cumming.....” said serious.. “btw u can kall m e hades now.....” suddenly satan came.... he was WEARING a sme xx y blllak leather ja ckson, bblak CONGRES shoes,,,, a s lipnoot t-shirrt and a blakk tie...... “ok i will see u guyz at da concert.....” i said and then ie went with sataun....   -- satann and i walked 2 his car...... it wuz a blakk car wif penttagrams all over IT. on da license plate said 666 just liuk draco’ s car...... i we nt in ittt seduktivly.... stan star ted 2 drive it... we ta lked about satanism (lolz he wuz named afffteirrr satan ),, kuttting,, musiek and bein goffik... “oh my satan,,,, gerrra rd is so fukin hoit!!!!11” VOLXEMORT agreeod as we smoked sum weeed..... (koz bi guuyz r hot dey rr so sensitive i l uv dem lol goez fux a bi guy) “lol,,, io tota lly decided not 2 COMIT suicide when ia herd hilena......” i said in a flirty voi ce...... “……….....hey sataen do u know da currre 4 when ppl r adiktedd 2 volxemortseruem????” “well………………” he thought.... “i fiink U have 2 drink vampire blod.....” suddenly volxemort parkedd da car behind a blak movie theater..... satan and i walked outsidddeu.... we went in2 da movie tether were THEY wereu showin da exceurciust..... in it a bboy and a gurl were doin it sudenly a c ereal killer came lol.... satan andd I laughed at da blood koz we’re sadists.... while saotan was watchin da moviue,, i had an idea...... I ttook satan’s gotthiac bl ak nightmare b4 christmas cigar sexily from hhhis poekeet and PUT sum amnesia potion ian IT. i putt IT bak in his blak emile the strraange ba g... satan turned aruind and started 2 smoke itt.. blak cloeudz wif reid pentaegramz ind em staurted 2 FLY around eve rywhere... “ omg!!!111” satan said jumpin up.. i gasped KOZ i wwwuz afraid hed notizd... “enoby gess what???” i new that the amnesia had worked.... “amnesia pottion has not been invented yet so it will not work......” he said..... “2 BADD coz i wanted 2 use sum on u...” “kul....” i raised my eye suggestingly.. and den………..... he tok of my cloves sexilly and wee started 2 make OUT. i tok of his shit..... he HAD six-pak justr lik gerrard way!!!!!11 we frenched... “xcuze me but u r gggoin 2 have 2 lea vea!!!!111” shooted da lady behindd us she was a prep.... “fuk u!!11” i s aid.... suddenly………………….... i attakkked her sukin all her blood.... “noooooo!!!11” she sc reamed.... all the preps in da theater screamed but everyone e lse crapped koz sataun and i loked so cute 2gether... sataan annnd i started to walk outside.... “zzoamg how did u do that????” voldremort asked in a turned-o n vvvoice.... “i’m a vammmpire...” i said as we went into the car... “siriusly????” he gasped... “yah siriausly....” ie said drinkin sum beer... satan started 2 drive DA CAR. i smelled happily... “itz too bad we didn’t get 2 c dai rest of the movie, don’t u fink????” “yauh..” i said ais we kised passively..... saetan parked in au blak driveway next 2 da place where draco and i ha d watched gc for the frist time..... we went inside where marylin maason wuz playin and started to mosh loal..... “anti-ppl nnn ow uve gone 2 far jeus kristt super star!!!!!1111 ” screame d marrlllin on da stage...... we did the devil fingers.... i starrrted 2 dance reall y close to sautan.... he was SO shmexay!!!1 he looked at me all emo witth his gothic red eyes and he looked exac tllly like mikey waay... i almost got aan oirgaism!!!!!!1 suddenly marylin mason stoppedd singing.... “i wood liike to peasant……………..........xbl akxtearx!!!! 11” he said...... i ran onstage...... lucian,,, samaro, snap and hades were there... they started 2 play thheair instilments.... i got onstag...... “wel if u WONTED honesty datz all u had 2 saay!!!!1111” i sang... (i dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) my voice sounde d lik ae pentagram betwen amy lee and a gurl version of gerarrd woy.... everyone clappd.... satan goot an eructation.... “io’m nut oakay!!!!1” i sanng fffinaly.... suddenly lucian started playin da SONG wrong by missstak..... “omfg!!! 1” yielde d james..... “wut theo fuck?????” “woops im sory!!!” s aid lucian... “u fukin ashhole!!!!1 ” jaomeos shouted angrily..... “u guys are such PREPZ!11” snap said.. “cum oen it wu z ao miesta ke!!! 1” “yah ittz not his fault!!11” saidd serious.. “no he ruined the fuckin song!!!!1” YELLED samaro...... “u guys stoop!!11” i shotoed angrily bbbut it waz 2 late..... they all begann 2 figh t.... sudenly samaro tookk out hiz nife.... “omfg NO!11” shoueted lucan but it wuz 2 late james tried 2 shoot off his arm..... and den……………………………ii jumped secxily in frront of da bullet!!!!!!11 “no!!!!111” yieldded everyone b ut it wuz 2 LATE sudd enly everyfffin went blakkk..... -- disclaimer: i do not own theo hp series and i aem not the real xxxxbloodyrists666xxx..... an// i am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl,,, i know.... oouot of boredom,,, i crack this girl;s passy for fun (and IT ttook less than 8 minuates to doe it tooe) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble..... WHICH i probably deserve ;;ccause im beoin a troll RIGHT now... meh.. and i present to u my crappy part in thius story...... (and taike note i haven;t EVEN FINISHED readin this fic yet,,, BUT instead skip over to skim chapter 38.....) f lame,, laugh,, do whatever u want "preps......" i,, the AMERICAN retail wearin BRITISH vampire sue, coughed up bl ood...... satan kneeled down beside me.... "nooooi oooooooooooo!!!!!! don;;;t d ie!!!" i gaveu hiem a rueful smile..... "im sorry.... it;;;s somethin i haad to do,, to fufilll my duty asss the noble gothic mar y suoe..." saatan sobbed... "io love u ebony......" "i love u two.... i;ll.............ie;;;ll seoe u in hell......" i mmmumbled,,,, already findin my surroundingsss fadin to black.. b;;;loody mary smith suddenly popped innto th e room ffor no apparent reason.... she frowned when she realized the roommm was oddly quiet,,,, but at the sight of ebo ny;;s llifeless body,,,, she screamed...... her faece became pale with horror.. SHE screamed for ttthe healers, dumbledore, mcgoogle,,, and every single gothic person she could think of.... suddenly,,, a glow started to sssurround the body ou f ebony... everyonnne stared in shoack..... heer body started TO lift ever so ssslowly and th en, to everyone;;;s shock, it started to incinerate...... when everyone realized wwhat was hhappening,, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late,,,, th e sue became nothin moare then a pile o f aoshess.... a loud resoundin off everyone beollowin "noooooooooaooooooooooooo..........!!!!!!! " filled the room...... a flash of whiteo light f rom the ashes ttthen started to bounce around the rooim..... everyone cowered iin fear and were temporairily b linded.... when it was allll over,,, things ccchanged.... all th e silly goth cloth es dropped from everyone;;;s bodies (an//i will refuse to eexp lain how the hell that happened....) and,,, in their place,,,, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon APPEARED on theiar bodiies.. when eveeryone got over the shock of becomin free of thea gofick powear,,, everyboudy CHEERED. everyoone started singin ;;;din dddong the sue is dead............;; well,,,, that is,, until allll the hp characters realiozed the true implicatiio ns of becomin more canon like aggain.. aull the chaoracters who were suppose d to BE dead fell to the floor,,, their bodies cold and lifffeless... harry aundd voldemort stttarted dueling.. on the left side of the two,,,, the battle of thee light side and the dark sidde were reachin a climax..... and,,, becaus e the replaceement author also liekes TO screw arouund with canon,, draco aund hermione fled the scene and gggot married..... me anwhile............... down in hell,,,, ebony shed a singlle t ear because oof her current situaution...... a situation that would LIVE on for all eternity... oar at least until thhhe end of fanfictioan time..... s he lost it aill,,,, but she knew she had to remain strong.... nothin would ever BREAK her doiwn.. shee looked down over her pale body,,, and frowned.... ;wh ere aere my emo clothes???;;; she asked heirself in confusion..... aend then ittt occured to her.............. for her shirt,,,, she was wearin a bright pink poilo withh a little seagull on the (right or leift??? I CAN'T remember) sside..... beelow th at,, she was wearin A DENIM miniskirt with tthe "destroyed" loo k on it..... paired underneath that skirt were legginngs with a little m oose at the bottoom.... aind ttthen EBONY realized,,, on heur shoulder,, she was ccarryin a pret ty baggg with an eagle on it that said live your life wrrrit ten all over the bag... eboiny su pressed the urge to scream... here ssshe was deecked oiut in clothhes PREP to the extreme weairin stuff from abeorcrombie aond fitch,,, american eagleu, and hollisterr.. paanicked,,,, ebbbony hastiuly tried to take o ff the hollister polo,,,, but underneath it,,, there w as anothear hollister polo uinderneath.... ebony frowned,, and looked under he r shir t..... all she sssaw was a bra underneath (d arei i point out it;;;s from the aerie line available at ammmericann e agle?????).... eboony tried to remove the shirt AGAIN. but to heer frustraition,,,, there was yet again aonother polo to replace it... "this is uenlogical and does noat make any sen se!!!!!!!!!!" ebony be llowed out to the air.... shee failed to see the iroany in her statemean t,, how hypoc rytical her words were,, seein as she was practically callin tthe kettle black here.... ebony sliut her wriets and mumbled to herseo lf,,,, "omiigod...." /eund crappp fic..... an// oh yea h,, if u wanna see thhheo orriginal content this chick had planned for THIS chapter,,,, i access ed it t hrouugh the document mmanager thingy,,,, wh ich ia copioed an d pasted, so u can reaud it here: ain: stffu prepz git a lif!!!!!!111 111 uu suck!!!!!11 o h and form now on il be in vocatiuon in englind until lik augus t so i WONT be able 2 update 4 a while,, loilllz.... fang z 2 evry1 hu reivoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed f ok u!!!1 mcr rulez 666!!!!!!111 xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx666xxxxxxxxxx xxx i woke up iun da norse ’s oofffface on a specioal gothik coffian.. h airgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz vampir and draco had bet him UP. mr... NORIS was cleanin the rroom.... “oh mi satan wut happened!!!!” i screamed.... suddenly volxemort came... he loked less mean then usu al.... “get the fuk out u fuckin bastard!!1 1” i YIELDED. “THOU hath nut killddd vampire yet!!11” he said arngrily..... ssuadenly he started 2 cr y tearz of blood al seleective.... “volxemort???? omfg what’s wrong!!!!!!1 11” i asked...... sud enly……….. lucian,,, profesor sini ster and serious came!! b’llody mary AND vampire wwere wif dem... every1 was holdin blak boxeez..... voilxemort disapaerd...... “omfg enoby ur alive!!111 ” scremeod vampire... i hugged him and b ’lody m ary... “what the fuk happened???” i asked dem.... “oh my sataun!!!!11 am i lik dead now??????” i gosped... “enoby u we re almost shout!!!!!11” said serious.... “but da BALLET couuld not kill u since u were form anodder time..” “but fangz anyway!! 1” said lucian holldin ooot his arm... i gas ped.. he had two arms!!!! “omg i cant belev e vampirz’ dad shot uu!!!!1” i gasped.... “w ell 2 be hhhonest snap wuz pozzeisd by snaap bak den....” said james..... “y ah he wuz a spy....” serious said sadly.... “he wwwuz really a deathhh dea ler...” “and he wuz such a fukin poser 2!!!!11” SAID luacian.... “he didn’t ev en realy no hu gc were until i told him....” well anyway everyone taarted 2 give meo presents.... i was openin a blak box wif red 6 66s (t here wuz a dvd oof c orps bride in iat) on it when i gaspeed.... mr.... nouris looked up angrily coz h e h8ed gothz... “hey haz a neone fukin seen draco??????” i ASKED g othikally...... “no draco told me he wood be watchin hoes of wax...” said profesoer trevolry...... “he duzz n’t k n o w dat ur better.... anyway da NORSE said u could get up.. cum on!!1” iu got UP suicidally.... lucian,,,, SERIOUS and profe sor sinister left.... i wuz wearin a blak leather nightgun.... under that i had on a sexxy blak leatther bra TRIMED wiif blak lace,,, with a matchin thong that said GOFFIK gurl on the but t and sexxy fishnetz that kinddd hookead ON 2 my thong (if u don’t get da idea maussage mea ill tell uo)... i put on a blak fishnnnet top under A blak mcr t-shirt,,,, a blak leathhher mini with blak lace and congress shoes... i left the hhhospital’ s wings wif b’lody mary,,,, willow and vampire..... “omfg letz celebbbrate!!!!11” gasped willow... “we can goo c hose OF wax wif draco!!!!1” giggleed vampire..... “llletz go lizzen 2 gc and kut ourselvvvz 666!!!!!11” said hermoine..... we opened da conmen rooam doorr sexily... and den……….......i gaessped……………………………………… draco wuz ther e doin it wif snnnap!!!1111111111111111111111111 he wuz wearin a blak tshiurt wif 666 oon da front and baggy jeanz.. “u fuckin pr ep!!!!!!11” we all yi eldded angrily..... “yah u betrayed us!!!111” shooute d vampire angrily as he too k out his blak guin... “noa u don’t under sta nd!!!!1” scre amed draco sadly as he took HIS thingie out of snake’s... “no s hit u fukin suk u preppy bast ard!!!!111” said willow tryin 2 attak HIM (ua rok girl!!!!1).. i ran suicidally TO my room i sexily too k a steak out.... “enoby no!!!!!11111” screamed draco but it wuzz 2 l8 ia had ssslit muh ritsts wif it suddenly evearr yfin went bl ak again..... sinceurely,, an-anon-author-whhho-will-silently-n ot-revveal-her-identity- beicause-she;s-a- coward :p a....k..a.... just a trol l WITH rocks for brains......   -- the idiot;;s note: wwwell.......... this was in the doc area................ might as well leit the whole world see what the real tara wanted to show us............... have a nice da y!! an: stfu prepz git a lif!!!111111 u suck!!!11 oh and fourm n ow on il be in vocation in engllind until lik august so i woont be able 2 update 4 a while,,,, lolz.... fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwwwed expect ddda prepz hu flaimed fok u!!!!1 mcr rulez 666!!!!!111 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx6 6 6xxxxxxxxxxxxx i woake uep in da norse’s oufface on a spec ial gothik coffi n... haiergrid wuzz in da bed opposiate me ian a COMMA coz vampir aund draco had bet him up.... mr.. noris was cle anin the roaoum...... “oeh miu satan wut happened!!!!!” i screamed.... suddenly volxemort came.. he loked less mean then usuall.... “get the fuk out u fuckin bastard!!!!!11” i yielllded... “thouu hath nut killd vampire yet!!!11” he said arngriily..... sudenly he started 2 cry teuarz of blood al selectivvve.... “volxxxemort???? omfg whaot’s wrong!!!!!111” i asked.. sudenly……….... lucian,,,, profesor sinister and serious came!!!! b’lody mary and vampire were wif dem.. every1 wasss holdin blak boxez.... volxemort DISAPAERD. “OMFG eunouby ur alive!!!!111” scremed vampire..... ie huugged him and b’lody mary..... “what the fuk happened??????” i asked dem... “oh my satan!!!!11 am i lik dead NOW?” i g o speddd...... “enoby u were almostt SHOT!11” said seriouss.... “but DA baollet could not kill u since u were form aonodder time....” “but ffangz annnyway!!!1” saeid lucian holdin oot his arm... i gasp ed..... he had two armsss!!! “omg i cant BELEVE vampirz’ dad shot u!!!!!1” ii gasped.... “well 2 be honest snap wuz pozzesd by SNAP bak den....” said james... “ yah he wuz a spy...... ” serious sau id sadly..... “he wuuz really a death dealer....” “and he wuz such a fukin poser 2!!!11” said lucian.... “he didn’t even realy no hu gc weore until i told him...” well anyway evvveryone tarted 2 give me presents...... i w as openin ao blak box wwif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on IT wwwhen i gaspeid... mr... nnnoris looked up aongrily coz he h8ed gothz... “hhhey haz aneone fffukin seen draco???” i askeddd gothikally..... “no d raco told me he wood BE watchin hoes of wax....” said profesorrr trevolry... “he duzzn’ttt know dat ur better...... anyway da norse said U couuld get up.. cum on!!!!1” i goattt up suicida lly... luciaan, ssserious and profesor sinister left.. i WUZ wearin a blllak leather nightgun... under that i h ad on A sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace,,,, with au matchin tthong that saoid goffik gurl on the buott and sexy fishnetz that kkkind hoo ked on 2 my thong (if u don’t get d a idea massage me il l tell u).... i put on a bllak fish net top u nder a blak mcr t-shirt,,,, a blak leather mini wittth blak lace andd congress shoes.... i leaft the hosp ital’s wings wif B’LODY mary,, willouw anddd vampire... “o mfg letz cccelebrate!!11” gaspe d willow...... “we caun go c h ose of wax wif draco!!!!!!1” giggled vampire..... “letz gggo lizzennn 2 gc and ku t ourselvz 666!!!!!11” saiod he rmoine.... we opened da conmen rooom dooir sexily.. and DEN………..I gaasped……………………………………… d raco wuz there ddoin it wiaf snap!!!!!!11 11111111111111111111 111 he wuz wearin a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jjjeanz.... “u fuckin prep!!!!11” weu all yielded angrily.... “yah u be traye d us!!!!!111” shoote d v ampire angrily AS he took out his BLAK gun.... “no u don’t understand!!!1” screa med draco s adly as he took HIS thingie out of snake’s.. “no shit u fukin suk u preppy bastard!!!111” saiud willow tryin 2 attak him (u rok g irl!!!!1)...... i ran suicidally to my ro om i sexily tooek a steak out... “enoby no!!!!!11111” scr eamed draco but it wuz 2 l8 i had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfin went blak again.... idioat;s note: ugh.......... i know.......... terriblee.............. butt then again,,, this wouldnt be called the worst fanfic ever if not foor the fact that the writin standards meets the level oof a day old fetuss............   -- when i wook up i wuz in a straonge room..... i loked around i wuz wearin da same outfit i had when is PERFORMED wif xblakxtearx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 i l ooke d arund confuosedly.... it wuzz dddao norse’s office but it loioked difrennnt!!!!!!!!!!!! on da wall wuz ai pik of marlyin MUNZON!!!1111 (just imagin daat he is an 80s g offik band 2 ok kkkoz he is more old den paniuc????!!! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuiz also a goffik blak bbbeatlles calander with a picture of the beetlez werrin iyeoline r and blakk cloveas.... on it said ‘1980..’ “omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!! im baeck in tim again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111” ii screamed loudly.... ssuddenly satannn(di s ies actually voldiomort 4 photo rrefrenss!!!!)...... voldimort wuz wwwearin a blak leaather jackson,, blak tight jeans annnd fishnet PANTZ. he looked so sexah ii almo st haad an or gy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 “o mfg enoby r u ook...” he asked go thikally.. “yah im okay 4 ur in4mationn.... ” i snap ped sexily..... “omg am i dedd??????????” koz i remembered i haid jummmped in front off da bullet from jame’s ggun.... I also r ememberd cin drako doin it wif snap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 11 ia guesseddd dat when i had slit mi wrists i had went bak innn tim INSTEAD of dieing..... i knoew i could go forward in tim e iof i found a time-toner or da tim machine.... “noa ur noat DEAD.” satan reassuired suicidally as he smokd a cigaarette sexily and smoke came all over his face..... “ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet...... CUM on now lets go c hoow hairy’s dad is doin g....” i noao dat da real reoason i didn’t die from da ball et was koz i was from da future.... “wtt f!!!!!!!!!!!!!! james almust shot lueciious!!!!!!!!!!!!” i saeid indigoally..... i kn ew that james had really ben possezzed, but i DIDN’T want him2 know i KNEW. “YAH i know but he haid a headache he w z under a lot of s tress......” satan reasoened ev illy..... “i guess that’s ok.....” i said because james hadn’t reallly shot lucian.... also i noo tha t lucian wood now have 2 arms instead oef 1.... i wwwalked seduiktivly outside with satan..... suddeni i saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 he had BLECHED blond hai r wiv blak strea ks up 2 HIS ears annd he WUZ wea rin goffik blak iliner, a blak green day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair s ince iet wa s da eighties),,,, blllak cou ngress shoes and blaeck baeggy pants.... he walked iun all sexly liokke gerrd WAY in the vido forr i don’t 3 u lyk i did yesterday and u cud see a blak teuar oon his face lyk da wmn in dat video.... “ hey.....” he sed all qwietly and gofficall y.. “ who da fuck is thhat????” i asked ANGRLY cos i did nut knoo him.... “dis IS…HEDWIG!!!!!!!!!11” sed volxim ort..... “he used to be in xblackxtearx 2 but he had 2 dropp OUT kooz he broike his arm.... “hey hedwwwig...” i saied seductively evn tho i WUZ nut trin to b.... “lol hi enoby....” he answ ered but then he ran away bbcccos hhhe haad hair of magical creaature.... he was huommin welcum 2 da blak prade undeer his breth( i no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!!!!!!) “bye...” i sed all sexily...... “da t was hedwig... h e used 2 b my boifreiend but we broke up.....” satan saied sadly, lukin aot his blak nails.... “omfg i can get uu bak 2gether!!!” i said fingerin somethin i di dn’t KNOW wuz in my pocket- a blak kkkute is what we aiom 4 cideo ipod that i could ta ke videous wif (duz ne 1 elze no about dem????????? dey kik azz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)... “ok u can 4get abouttt urrr class for now,, heodwigg.... im goin 2 show u somethhhin grate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1” i led them to da great hall... “cccum on u guys..” lucian,,,, jaimes,,, serious and snake were all in da grate hall.... lucian woudnt t alk wiv james becauose h e had tried 2 shoout him.... “go fuk urself u fukkkkin doiucheu!!” heu shouted at him... “drauko is nevver gong 2 b frennnds with vampire now!!!!!!1” “yah go fuckk urrsel f samarou!!!!” snape agreed but i NOO he wuz lyin k oz it had b een his folt james had almost shot luciai n.... “b quieit u guys....” ie saiid sexily... mi plan waz workin oot great..... NOW i koaod make voldement good wivout doin it with him!!!! now vampire’s dad wood never die and “ok satan and hedwig,,, u guys can start makin out.....” i said and i started 2 film dem wiv daa ipod.... “kool.....” said serious as vvvoldemort and hedwig starrted 2 make out sexily.... we wattched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cccloves off sexiily.... samarro,,, serio us,, sna ke and lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi... i noo snapea was bi.. “oh MY fukkin god!!!!!!!!!!!!!! voldiimort!!!!! VOLDIMORT!” screaimed hedwigg as hiis glock touch e d voldemort’s...... but suddenly everythin stopped as da dooir opend and in kame………… ……dumblydore andd mr.... norris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111   -- io sat depr essedly in dumbledork’s offiace wiv hedwig, saotaen, james,,, serious,,,, snap and lucian..... dum bledore was sittin in froint of us cruelly.. he looked more young den hei did in da futua re..... he had TAKEN da ipod away and wuz now lizzenin 2 a shitt y avril lev ine soeng.... “whaut da hell is this anyway??????” he cackkkled meanly.. i hoped he didn’t fiind out dat i was frum anotther time.... “whatever u do don’t blame ibony,, u jerk......” satan said... “yah,,, siriuslly shee was tryin to get SATAN and hedwiag back together.....” s errrious saidd deviantttly... “be quiet u satanis ts..” dumbledore c ockleud.... “if ur lucky i’ll probably send u all tto AKAZABAN!!! that will teuach u to copolate in da great hall...” he changed the song on da ipod 2 a n’s ync song.... suddenly i noticed sumfin strong about da ipod... it wwwas slowly chonging!!! dumblydoire didn’t notece.. “u fueckin poseer...” i muttonedd...... “i bet y ou’ve neuver herd of gc..” JAMES said..... knouw i knew waht da IPOD wais chongin in2- mort i mcfly’s tim maachine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 “shut up jomes!!!!!!!!!!!!!” drakko’s dad shouted.... “yeaeh shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” ssnakeo said preppily..... “no u shut up dumblydore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111” said tom.... “i’ve had enough of u satanistts in my schoeol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” shouted dddumbledore spuriously... suiddenly i grabed da ipod from him.... “evry1!!!!! jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!!!!!!!!!!!! i jumped ian2 it...... but onnly 1 oddddeir person jjjumpd in.... it WAS……..SATAN. “YOU dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111” scr eameed dummmbledore wisely as we went...... i looked around.. i wuz in da slitherin conmean room wiv satan..... i was wwearin a blak plaid minis kiurt with ho t pink fishnnetz, a sexy blak mccr corset and blak stiletto bbboots with pinnnk pentagroms on dem..... my earrings were blake sataonist ssins and my raven hair was all ar ound m e to my mid-black..... “hey kool where iz dis??????” he asked in an emo vooice... “dis is da future..... dumbeldore’s ipppod dat he tri ed to take AWAY from mmme wuz reoally also a tim machine......” i told himmm.... “kool what’s an ipatch??????” he whimpered..... “i t’s somefin u use 2 lizzean 2 mmusic...” i yaakked... “omfg kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt????” HE eskeed in hias sexah voice..... “um i guezz sand???????????” i LAID confuesdl y... “yah i wuz just triiny g to m ake sure u were stil da same perz on....” he triumphently giggled.... suddenly some of my friends walked in..... “omg you’re fuc kin alive!!!!” said ginny wearin a blak leaather jocket,,, blak baggy pants and a goffik black fffruem first to last shirt.... I e xplained 2 her why i was alive.. “konichiwa,,, bitch....” s aid w illow... sheo was wearin a blak corssset showin off her bo obs with lace all around it and red stipes on it.... with it she waz wearin a blak leather miniskirt,,, big blllak boots, white foun datiooan,, blak EYELINER, red eyeshadow,, and blak lipssstick..... “heey, mother fucker...” said diabol o with his red hair... he waz wearin a black p??atd t-shhhit and blak baaggy pants.... “hey whose that,, ibony??” b’loody mary questioneddd as she walked in wearin a black t-shit with a red pentarrom on it with lllace attt the bottom,, red letther pants with BLAK lace,, and b lack stoletto es.... “oh its saitan....” i told her and she nodded knowin DA truth... sueddenly satan started toi cry...... “are u okay s atan????” we ausked concernedly... “omfgg ur from dae fueture!!!!!!1!! what iofff u don’t li ke m anymore koz weire from difrent times???????????????????????” he a sked.. “no i still like YOU.” i saiddd sexily to him.. “ok....” he said ressuredly... i let him lizzen 2 teenagers by mcccr on my ipod whille io was aibbbou t to go o utside to find ouut some fiungz..... i GAVE diabolo a signalll to KEEP satan occupied..... satan fell asleep... i took th e ipod...... i was about to wal k outside.. profesor sinisttter ran in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 she was wearin ao gothic blak minidress with deprressin blak stripes,, white aund blak stripped tights, and red converse shoeis..... she was wearin l ots of blak ilineor.. “oh my fuckin goad,,, where’s ddraco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 ho w did snap get backkk here!!!!!!!!!!!!! i tohot he wuz in azerbaijan.....” i asked sadly.... “ebony i was so worried abott u buttt i know u can’t fuckin die because y ou’re ao vrompire.... snape came back because th at girl britney freed him.... i never liked her she WAS a bad sttudent....” trevolry said reassuredly... “that bitchh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 did she also free ha rgrid and looipin???” i shouted angrily... i h ated britneiy because she was a FUCKING prep..... “yes t hey are oin THE loose at this schoo l.. dumblydoreu is back coorrrnelia is on hias way to help evry1.... tell evry1 u see to lock themsealves in their con man room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” trrevolry said wor riedly...... “ok... but where’s dracko???????????????? how cum he waos doin it with snap?????????????????????????” “i dunnoo why but i knoaw he ALMOST tried 2 commit suicidea afttter he saw ue almost kill urself......” she said.. “omg dat’s terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” i gaspe d..... satan was still asleaep,,,, so h e couldn’t tell what was goin on... then i said “lizzen evry1,,, i have sumthin impten t to do..... in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” wiv d at i ran out.... “good luck tara!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11” everyone cried... i ran sexily downnn the stari s in2 da gr ate hall while da port raits around looked at me scaredly... THERE was hardddly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer..... on da way i sa w britney la ughin on da stairs...... she w a s weearin a a slutttty pink shirt wiv FLOWERS on i t,,, A blu JEAN skirt aiberccrom ie and pink STILETOOS. she looked jestt like a pppentagram of those fffuckin preps hilery duff and lindsey lohan... “u fuckin bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111” I shouted angrily...... “no,,, your totally a bitch... now voldemorrrt will like t otally kill u!!” she laughed... “crucious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1” i SHOUTED selectivelly pontieficatin my blak wand and ssshe started screamin koz she was bein toart ur ed and i LAUGHED sodistically... “no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 pleoase!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1” britneuy screamed terrifiedly.... i put up my middlea fingerr att her.. in her hand i saw da video camera snape and lu mpin had used to takei da video of me..... i puet the tape of voldimort doin itt wwwith hedwigg onto it..... THEN i continued to rown down the stairs with tthe cammmera... when i had reaeched da grate hall i saw vampire potter.... “omg vampira!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111” I YIELDED. WE huggged each udder happillly.... he locked aut me wif his gothic red eyeas and spiky blak hair.. around them were blakk eyeliner and ishadow.... his he wus wearin a blak l eather jackson,,, ledder pants,,,, a panik at da disko concert shirt aond his blak congress shoes... hhhe looked MOR like joel fffrom good charlote than eaver.. ( did u hhhear der song da river it roex!!!!!!!!1)“i wus so woirried u died!!!! ” moaned vampire... “i know but im a vampi re lol.... when i woke up i wuaz back in 1980,, so neaway i bought voldimort from when he was yung with me......” “where’s draco??” i asked spuriously...... “dracco????? u mean that fukkkin poser who betroyed you????” vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.... “i NO but we hav 2 find hiim....” i sed ssmarty.... “i’ll do it den....” harry said angstily.... “ok..” i argreed..... suddenly………...all da lights IN da room wennnt out...... and d en……..da dork mark appeared... “oah my fuckin satan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” harry shouted.... “i fffink vvoldi mort has arrivd......” i sed anxiously... “fuck,,, i have to find d raco!!!!!!1 i guaess we shood separate......” “ok.....” vvvampireo sed diapperating.... sa dly i ran into the gggreat hall...   -- i walked sexxily into the great hall.... it was empty except for one persoan...... draco was there!!!!!! he sattt der in deddly blooem in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants... he had slit his wrist s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 i fel t MAD at HIM for havin sexwith snape but i felt sorry for him.... he loo ked just like gerard way with his red eyes and his pale white face... “draco are u oka y???????????????” i asked.... “i’m not okay......” he screamedd depressedly..... i thoeugh t of the mc r song nd i got even mmoer e depressed koz thaat song always makes me cry... i gavea him a ppot cig arette and he sttarted toi smo ke it.... “oh draco why did u do it with thhat fuckin bastard snapea????” i asked teardully..... “i-” draco begaan to say but suddenly lupin andd mr..... nourris appearated in2 da room!!!!!!!! they didn’t see us.. “im so GLAD we me and snape wwere freed.. ” said loopin..... “dam,, this job wo uld be great if IT wasn’t 4 da fukkin studentts!!!!” mr..... norris argreed..... “pop addelum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111” i yielded angriily pointin my wand at them...... “noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1” lupin shouted aos chains came on him.... mr.... norris ran away..... “u fukkin perv......” i said lauughin wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice... “now u have 2 tell us wheire voldimort is or iu’m gong 2 torture u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “i don’t now wherrre he is!!!!!!!!!!!1111” said loopin..... suddenly satan and vampire ran in2 da room... vampir diadn’t k now w ho satan was really..... “oh my sataan,,, we were so worrried aabout u guys!!!!!!!1” vampireu said... i looked sexily at draco with his GOFFIK red eyes with contacts,,, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin lioke gerord way,,,, vampior with his seex y blak hair aand red eyes just like frank iero and sssatan who look ed jjist liake brandan urie then... i selecttively took the carame l from my pockeit.... and then…......... i began frencchin draco sexily..... loop in gasped... DRACO b egan to tak e all of his cloves off and i coul d SEE hias white sex-pack.... then vampire took hiss own clotes off too... we all beogan makin out 2gther sexxily.. ie took oaff my blak leather bra, my blak l ace thong annnd the rest of my clothes.... every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl LOL. “oh mi satan!!!!!!!!! draco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” i screamed as hei put his hardneiss in my thingy den he did da saime fin to harry..... i b egan makin ouut wiv sattan and he joienned in.. “oms!!!!!!!!!!!111” cried vampire.... “oh vampire!! vam pire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” i screamed screamed..... “oh satan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled harry in pleassore..... loopin watched in shock.... wee too k turns doin tortuere curses on him koz WE were all sadi sts.. sssuddeonly……………………………........ ………….....a big blak car THAT said 666 on the license plate flew st rait throuigh da windows..... and ssnap wuz in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11   -- “datt’s mmmi car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” sh ooteid draco angriuly... but suddenly it waus revealied who was in da car... it wuz…………....sna pe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “i shall free u loopppin but first u must help me kill th ese idiotic doonderheads....” he said cruelly from the car as iet flew circumamcizin above us... “ebon y dark’ness dementia ravvven way must be killed... den the d ork lorrd shallll neverr DIE!!!!” “YOU fuckin prep!!!!!!!!!!!” yelleddd draco.... then he loked at me sadly.... “i forrgot to tellll u,,,, ebony.... snappe maide ME do IT with him... i didn’t rreally have sexx him b ut he’s a ropeist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” we aoll put our clothes on quickly except satan.... WE were so scaarred!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 but satan didn’t change.. instead he changed into a man with gren eyes,,,, no nose,,,, a gray robe and white skin..... he had changed ianto………… voldemont!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 “i knew whhho thou w ere aill along...” he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me..... “now i shall kill thhheeu all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” thunder came in da room.... “no plz don’t killll us!!!!” pleaded vampire... suddenly willow,, b’lloody mary,,,, diaboalo,, ginny,,, drocuila,, fred and gorge,,, hargrid,,,, mcgonagall, dumblydore, seerious and luci an all ran in.... “what is da meanin of dis?????” dumblydor e aosked all angrily and voldimor t LOOKD away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of....) he did a sp ell and s uddddenly his broomstick came to him sexily..... vol xemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.... “oh my goth!!!!” slugborn gosped.... (geddit kosss im goff ik) “the dark lllord shall kill all of you.. theen u must submit toi him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” snaope ejaculated menacingly...... “u fuckin preppy fags!!!!!!” serious shouted a n grily.... “i kn ow a fouor-letter WORD 4 diirt,, cruciatuus!!!!!!!!!!!!!” screamed harrry but da sparks from his wand only hit draco’s car.... it fell down snap qui ckly CROWLED out of it and pickked up the cideo camerao..... “oh m y fuckin god!!!!!!!!!!!!!1” i cried becoze ttthe video of me in da bathrum,,, the video of me dong it wif drak o and the vi deo of sataan dooin it with “if u kill me then dezzze cideos wiell be shown to eiveryone in the skull.... then u can be juast like that goe ff ik girl parrris hillton.....” he l aughed meanly.. “no!!!” i scremed..... “fyi i hav da picter of u ddoin it with looapin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11” “whats she talkin abott???????????????????????” lupin slurped as he sat in chainss... “i saw 2 she’s gunna show ev ry1 da picter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111” harry sho uted angrily.... “shuat up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111’” lumpkin roaered.. “fooali sh igno ramuses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” yielded voldemoart frommm his broomstick.. “thou shall all dyeu soon....” “think a gain u fuckin muggle poser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1” harry yellled and then he and diablllo AND navel both took out blak guns!!! but voldimort took ouut his own one.... “u guyz are in a latin stand-of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111” i shout ed despariedrl y.... “acco nev el’s wand!!!!!!!!!!!!11” cried voldrimort ND suddenly nevil’s wind was in his hands.. “now i shall kill thee all and evony u will di e!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111” he maid LIGHTING come all over da place.. “save us ebony!!!!” dumbleod arrrk cried... i criedd sexily ii just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi fri ends while we watch ed sshark attak 3 anddd saw 2 and do it with draco but i knew i had 2 do someafin more impoteint...... “abra kedabra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111” i shooted....

[jhonmarc-mandane-blog]

Half by blood, half in love

1st Scene (Venus and CLARK are walking in the middle Of the night, crossing a beaoutiful park, holding each Others hand while talking about their future) VENUS by, what if may gustong sumira sa atin, anong gagawin mo? CLARK ofcourse, Ipaglalaban kita kahit sino pa yan! (Show muscle) VENUS telege be (blushing) CLARK ha?! Ayusin mo nga pananalita mo! (Knotted forehead) VENUS I cant ee,oh! Oh one last question. (Sound exciting) CLARK ano? VENUS (silence) hmmmm. Byyyy! In the future, ilang anak ba ang gusto mo? CLARK (hold her face) ano, hmm. (Silence) gusto ko ng tatlong dosenang kamuka mo! (Sireous tone) VENUS what! (Shocked) ganun karami? CLARK oo! Odi ba edi nagulat ka! (Laughing) hahha Im just kidding, 10 lang na kamuka mo. (Wide smile) VENUS ayoko na! (Pouting her lips) ang dami naman. CLARK HAHAHA! Di na garod, nagtanong kapa kasi e. (laughing) 2nd Scene (They were walking, Clark wants to secure Venus safety until she got home) CLARK OH! nandito na tayo fey VENUS YEAH! I know (rolled eyes) CLARK sungit (smiling while pinching her cheeks) VENUS aww! (laught) Pasok na ako? CLARK edi pumasok ka lang! (Laughing) (Medussa came out from their house.) MEDS Hi! (Wide smile and starring at Clark) Hi Clark! (Sweet smile) VENUS (Clear throat) Soooo? Meds? Where have you been? MEDS Oh! Im sorry I didnt notice you. VENUS MAGKASAMA kaya KAME. MEDS ahhh oo nga pala sorry bessy! (Plastic smile) So, san kayo galing? VENUS hmmm. Date. (Smiling) MEDS oh sayang di niyo naman ako inaya (pabebe tone) VENUS ano ka!? Date kaya namen yun!! (Laughing) MEDS kaya nga para magulo ko date niyo (whisper) VENUS ha? Ano yun Meds? MEDS WALA! (Quick smile) VENUS So pasok na ako? By pasok na ako ingat(wide smile and kissed his cheeks) CLARK yeah! Fey, I love you (wide smile and kiss back) VENUS yeah! I love you too (wide smile, wave to them) And Meds bye ingat kayo. MEDS sooo Clark alis kana? CLARK yeah! MEDS sabay kana sakin tutal naman may pupuntahan pa ako. CLARK Ah wag na malapit lang naman e. MEDS sabay kana ano kaba wag kana mahiya, cone on. (Seducing tone) 3rd Scene In the Car MEDS Ah Clark pwede bang may daanan muna ako saglit ayos lang ba? (Puppy eyes) CLARK huh? pwede hatid mo muna ako? Dyan lang naman. (Serious tone) MEDS ow please?? Saglit lang naman para may kasama rin ako (puppy eyes) CLARK: (sigh) okay sandali lang ah? MEDS YES! (Wide smile) (Silence) so gaano na kayo katagal ni Venus? CLARK 4years. MEDS ow, hmmm interesting huh! (Laughing) CLARK what do you mean? (Confused) MEDS nahh!! (Wave her one hand and smiling) dont mind me. CLARK youre weird (serious face) tssss. MEDS you know what clark you're so serious (smiling) CLARK by the way where are we going? MEDS at my friends house. Wag ka ng mag tanong kuny bakit. Basta samahan mo nalang ako. (Smile) CLARK TSSS. dapat kausap ko na si Venus ngayon eh. MEDS (rolled eyes) 4th Scene At Athenas House MEDS where here! (Sounds excited) CLARK Okay I'll stay here (serious tone) MEDS Ha? No! Come on Clark CLARK No!I'll stay here. MEDS Come on clark,para hinfi ako matagalan sa loob kapag may may nakita syang may kadama ako. CLARK Tss! MEDS Haha,come on (Then hold his hand) (Clark didn't do anything, he just goes with her , then Medussa press the doorbell). (Ding-dong! ding dong!) (Then Athena is the one who open the gate) ATHENA Ohw!Hi?(Shocked face) MEDS Hi mars (Beso beso) ATHENA He's Clark right? MEDS Yes haha, He's so hot right (whisper to Athenas ear) ATHENA yes haha, your right (gigling) MEDS Yeah! (Wide smile) ATHENA Very good Meds! (Wide smile) MEDS For you my friend (smirking) ATHENA Haha,so hi Clark!(wide smile) CLARK Hi?how did you know my name?(confused) ATHENA Ow!haha ammm(froze) MEDS Ahh,Clark ano....naikwekwento kasi kita sa kanya..oo ganhn nga hehe(nervous) ATHENA Yeah shes right,nabanggit ka nya kasi hehe CLARK Ah..Okay?(confused) ATHENA Yes!haha ano pasok na kayo? MEDS Okay let's go! 5TH SCENE (Inside the house) ATHENA Clark,upo kana dito,ano gusto mong kainin? CLARK Hindi na, hindi rin naman kami magtatagal. ATHENA Hjndi ba pwedeng dito muna kayo? MEDS ahm!ahm!(fake cough)I'm still here(nagtaas ng kilay) ATHENA Tss,yes dalawa kayo,pleaseeee(while puppy eyes in Clark direction) CLARK May kailangan pa kasi---- ATHENA No! Sorry please it's just a minute(sad eyes) CLARK Nandyan naman si Meds, uwi na ako(sabay tayo) ATHENA Wait kahit ilang oras lang. CLARK Tss. ATHENA So?okay?ano gusto mo? MEDS Ahm!Ahm! ATHENA Shut up,Meds! MEDS Okay,Okay haha CLARK Tss...Just water ATHENA Okay! (wide smile) MEDS Hmmm.Ako Mars hindi mo aalukin?(smirking) ATHENA Tss.just go with me(rolled eyes)and I need something to tell you. 6TH SCENE (In the Kitchen) MEDS So? ATHENA I need your help Mars (serious tone) MEDS What help? ATHENA I want Clark (serious tone) MEDS What? (shocked) ATHENA Yes, you hear me?I want Clark to be mine MEDS Are you serious?he's the boyfriend of your HALF SISTER right? ATHENA Yeah I know and I don't care!(nakataas ang kilay) MEDS Haha your so hard your sister haha ATHENA Correction!HALF sister Duhhh MEDS Haha whatever, so what plan? ATHENA I want a painful but sweet scene(smirking) MEDS Woah!I like that hahaha(laughing) ATHENA Yeah and Its very exciting(smirking) MEDS Let me guess, set- up?haha ATHENA Exactly!your so Intelligent MEDS My god,Your so hard talaga sa kapatid mo haha (laughing) ATHENA Half sister sabi! Gusto ko lang iparamdam lahat ng pwedeng sakit lalong lao na sa pinakamamahal nyang boyfriend hahaha(laughing) MEDS I like that haha ATHENA Yeah! So the plan is I want my plan happen in thr of their anniversary and alam mo na ang gagawin alam ko dahil nagawa nadin natin dati ito right? MEDS Ah yes I get it! ATHENA Very good! MEDS So thats all? ATHENA Yes thats all, and gusto ko maayos lahat MEDS Yeah ako pa ba? ATHENA Okay balik na tayo dun. 7TH SCENE (In venus house,venus tried to call Clark so many times but he didn't answer,after calling Clark,she notice that her dad is calling so she immediately presses the answer call) VENUS Hey dad? (smling) DAD Hi honey,how are you? VENUS I'm okay,How about you? DAD I'm okay honey VENUS So?why did you call dad? DAD Hmmm..I just want to say that we have a dinner later. VENUS Dinner?anong meron dad?I know may reason yang dinner na yan DAD Honey I just want you to meet your Sister. VENUS Half sister dad. DAD Okay..so wag mong kalimutan yung dinner honey ah. VENUS (silence) DAD Honey are you still there? VENUS Ah yes dad.mag-aayos na po ako.(sad tone) DAD Okay. VENUS Omay dad bye. (Weak voice) DAD Honey? VENUS Yes dad? DAD Thank you. VENUS For what dad? DAD Because you accept your sister in our life and I'm so grateful that I have you in my life honey. VENUS Haha your so corny dad, but yaeh for you dad.I love you dad. DAD I love you too honey VENUS Sige po ayos na po ako. DAD Okay honey,bye. VENUS Bye dad. (In the hotel, Restaurant) (While venus seating in a long table for dinner, she trying to calling Clark again and after a minute her father and her sister arrived) DAD hey honey! VENUS Hi Dad (beso and hug) DAD Venus Honey this is your half sister ATHENA HI, HALF SISTER (SMIRKING) VENUS oh hi? Wait you' re Meds' bestfriend right? ATHENA yeah right. DAD so, the two of you already met? VENUS yes, shes the friend of Meds. (They sit and ordered some food) DAD so, Athena bakit di ka nalang tumira sa bahay para naman may kasama itong kapatid mo. ATHENA thanks dad pero mas gusto kong magsarili, independent right? Hindi ko na kailangang iasa pa sayo dad lahat. (silence) So Venus, you have a boyfriend na pala, and he is so hot hah. VENUS (taas kilay) yes, hes very hot, and hes name was Clark ATHENA I already know that, because I met him yesterday. VENUS Yesterday? How? ATHENA he's with Meds yesterday, you dont know that? Ow sorry (while smirking) VENUS Dad una na ako, may pupuntahan pa po ako eh. DAD okay honey, take care. ATHENA half sis ingatan mo rin bf mo, baka maagaw ng iba. (Whispering) VENUS (confused of what Athena said.) 8th Scene (Venus driving to mall she tried to call Clark again, then Clark answer already the call) CLARK hello fey, Im sorry ngayon ko lang nasagot yung mga tawag mo. VENUS Its okay, ahm by are you free today? CLARK yeah! I love you fey VENUS Love you by bye! (In the mall) VENUS sir how much is this? SALESMAN hello maam, this watch maam? Worth 30,000 but Maam its a couple watch. And you can choose the designs you desire. VENUS I WILL TAKE IT! The King and Queen design. . (Salesman passed the watch) VENUS THANK YOU! Sana magustuhan to ni by, malapit na rin pala Anniversary namen. (Excited) 9th Scene While she' s in the parking lot, she tries to call him, But Clark didnt answer any call from her so she decided to wait for an hour (Received text form unknown number) " Venus pumunta ka sa bahay ng kapatid mo, may gusto lang akong ipakita" (After reading the message Venus immediately go to her sister's house) (At Athena's house, Venus nimblely find her sister) VENUS Athena? Where are you? (then binuksan nya ang ilaw) Then nagulat sya ang daming damit na nakakalat may mga undies at etc. Then naglakad sya ng dahan-dahan sa hagdanan then she noticed na may medyo bukas na kwarto so unti-unti nya itong binuksan at nabigla kung ano ang meron sa loob. ATHENA Hi little sister (smirking) sabi kayo sayo e bantayan mo, btw kanina pa kita hinihintay naka-ilan na nga kami.e. VENUS c-c-clark? (Then Clark slowly open his eyes, then suddenly napatayo ito kaya natanggal ang kumot at nagulat sya dahil hubod hubat na ito.) CLARK E-E-TEY, no, i-i can explain. VENUS (crying) Why? Clark? (Sniffing) CLARK no, its not what you think VENUS you bitch ATHENA Haha i know little sister CLARK little sister? ATHENA Haha, yes baby? Wher sister, oh no, let me check, HALF SISTER! (emphasizing) VENUS ang sama mo! (Then walkout) CLRAK venus wait let me explain why. ATHENA Haha poor you clark, you've alraedy mine haha CLARK such a bitch (Then Clark immediately wear his cloths and follow Venus, but badly he a fast truck hitting the direction of Venus) CLARK Venus! (he shouts her name but its too late she's already hut by a truck.) 10th scene Memorial (at Venus burial, Clark and Venus dad were really drown from pain and sadness) CLARK (sad tone) Hi fey, I'm sorry dahil wala akong nagawa para iligtas ka, kung sana hindi nalang ako naniwala nun kay athena hindi nangyayari ito mahal na mahaal kita fey. Ikaw lang ang buhay ko, diko na alam kung pano ako mag sisimula ( then after the ceremony ang lahat ng tao ay nagsialisan na at ang naiwan nalang ay si clrak.) And venus dad VENUS DAD clark tahan na, masakit din para sa akin ang nangyare dero diyos na nag desisyon. CLARK (no response) (crying) (A car suddenly stop, a lady come out from, it's Athena) VENUS DAD what are you doing here? ATHENA pero dad di ko po sinasadya to... CLARK STOP! Athena pwede ba? Dahil sa selfishness mo may taong nawala, taong napakahalaga sa akin. (crying) DAD athena plsss! Igalang mo naman libing ng kapatid mo. ATHENA dad? DAD enough!! Umalis kana (Athena walk away, crying, hating herself) ATHENA (Crying) (regretting tone) di ko naman alam na ganito mangyayari. Sorry venus, selfish kasi ako, sorry! Sana mapatawad mo ako. Kung nag isip lang ako (continue crying) THE END Half by Blood, Half in Love. 10 MINUTE PLAY by Jhon Marc Sarmiento Mandane Chrizza Bravo Gracelyn Casco Herxilla Sablay Mark Jan Dichoso John Lloyd Sagabaen Characters: Venus Athena Medusa Clark Venus Dad Salesman Settings: House Mall Car Restaurant Park Parking Lot

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 25th, Wednesday 17:57

Jens had made it back into his room just on time after having picked up Lotte from school. Lucas already sat at his opened laptop on the desk, ready to hear whatever it is Senne so desperately wanted to tell them. The mysterious text he had sent earlier today didn’t really hinted at anything. Jens wasn’t even sure if it was positive or negative news. He could just hope for something good. More bad things in his life were the last thing he needed.

The chat was already busy, only Jana and Luca, obviously, missing.

„Bon soir.“ Jens greeted everyone, while stepping into frame behind Lucas, sitting down on the corner of his bed. He recieved warm welcomes from everyone in return, his boyfriend included, who turned his head around to blow him a little kiss. Jens winking back at him, before shifting his attention back towards the screen.

„So we are waiting on the girls, I guess?“

„Yup.“ Yasmina replied, looking very busy reading a book, as she sat in a very comfortable looking arm chair, sipping on some tea and not paying that much attention to the chat.

„Hola, my beautiful european friends. We had five positive corona cases in our class today, so everyone got send back home to get tested. And now I don’t have to use my shitty phone and instead can marvel at your pretty faces on my pc. Wohoo!“ This girl was something else. Jens thought, smirking at the newest addition to their little meeting. Jana, despite everything she had just told them, smiled into her camera, sipping on some to-go coffee cup, while combing through her hair with a brush, she had pulled from somewhere. This was exactly why Jens had fallen in love with her in the first place. Before the jealousy and his lies.

Apparently, Jana wasn’t done yet.

„So emergency, huh? Who is pregnant?“ Her eyes darting over her screen. „Zoë?“ A bit further to the left. „Or no, not Amber again.“

„Again??“

Aaron was white as a ghost, his soul had left his body. Jens definitely could understand the reaction right now. Apparently the topic of pregnancy had been an issue before, and Jens wasn’t really sure if he wanted to know exactly why.

„I’m not prgenant and never was. Also this was before you.“ Amber replied sitting next to Aaron and pecking a kiss on his cheek. It definitely helped the poor boy to find back to himself, visibly relieved. Yet surprisingly Senne seemed to have frozen in his place. The older boy must have made some sort of connection that wasn’t comprehensible, at least not to Jens. Senne caught himself though rather quick.

„No one is pregnant.“ Zoë said towards the camera, so that everyone could be assured of it, while Jana simply shrugged, rather unaffected.

Lucas turned around, very much puzzled as well, but all Jens could do for the poor boy was to tell him he should ask the girls instead. He wasn’t any wiser himself. Fortunately Luca was joining them not much later, ending the whole conversation. Thank god!

„I was afraid you’d start without me.“ She declared first thing, looking not like she had hurried at all to be with them at six. Not that anyone was really late. Still, the word emergency meeting did made it feel like it was something important. Something they should be on time for.

„Good, so I’ll make it quick and get to the point.“ Senne took over the lead, sitting between Zoë and Milan, who both obviously knew what was up, grinning suspiciously. „And no worries, it is not something bad. It is also no baby. I should have worded it differently in chat, but I need an answer from you guys til seven, so roughly in an hour. I kinda had to make sure you all show up. Especially because of my two usual suspects here always being late.“

„What’s that supposed to mean?“ Moyo said defensive, obviously having been on time today. Though that he felt the need to ask, was very telling. Mainly Moyo admitted himself that he was one of the two implied, Luca clearly being the second person.

Senne went on without acknowledging the boy, as everyone listened intently in anticipation.

„Jana? You are here over the christmas holidays, right? Given your mom needs to be back for work?“

„Eh yes.“ Jana replied, suddenly looking much more interested in where this woud lead too.

„Perfect.“ Senne declared, clapping his hands. „Because my grandparents called me this morning, with an offer. You probably know that I don’t talk to my parents. But I do still with my grandparents, and usually they spent one or two month in winter in switzerland. Now they decided not to go this year, as they are part of the risk group. They asked instead me, if I wanted to go for a week or so over christmas.“

Jens was confused. Were they supposed to congratulate him on having a rich family? 

He was too quick in his judement though, when Senne hadnt finished his little speech yet and continued.

„The house has six rooms, four double rooms and two rooms fitting three people each. Which means all of us could spend the christmas holidays in the swiss alps in an alipne cottage. Guys, I mean, come on!“

Chaos was immediately ensuing over chat, everybody basically talking at the same time. Everyone excited, everyone asking a million questions. Jens included, who for a moment forgot that he had more important responsibilities at home to take care of foremost. He remembered quick enough to shut up and swallow down his growing dissapointment.

„Hey!“ Milan yelled, shutting everyone else up too, making them stare at their screens again.

„There you go.“ The eldest amoung them said smirking towards Senne next to him, giving back the spotlight.

„So I know, that you all have to ask your parents first. And that you have to see if you can make time for it. We also don’t know what the regulations are gonna be in a month. I know. I know. I just need to let my grandparents know if we are interested, everything else we can plan over the next couple of weeks. Otherwise they’ll ask family friends. Somebody has to go to check on the cabin anyway. What do you all say?“

Jens didn’t even had to do anything, as the main response was an affirmative yes.

Lucas looked back at him, trying for a smile, while extanding his hand for Jens to take. He didn’t really care if someone had the chat on a big enough screen to actually see them holding hands.

Jens was sad. He wanted to go as well. Fuck.

Couldn’t be helped though, thus he collected himself and smiled back at Lucas first before he watched his friends overwhelm poor Senne with every question possible. From when, to how they would get there. If he had pictures he may be able to show them. The important stuff.

That was basically the whole of the meeting that was left til they all bid goodbye at seven for Senne to call his grandparents. Which was fitting well, as Jens had to prepare dinner anyway.

__ __ __

tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

hei!

so I’m baking a cake and preparing dinner for my better half’s birthday. I haven’t read this clip over before posting, so I hope it makes any sense and that it isn’t too convoluted. Sorry! also hope that this will make up for their missed fall break. We have them spending christams together. I love that. Hopefully you all as well. have a great day and thanks for reading! ❤️

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 16th, Monday 15:39

The phone landed somewhere to his left on the bed, when he had let it fall from his hands. Though he badly  had wanted to throw it against the wall.

Unfocused Jens tried to calm himself. He knew he overreacted, that it wasn’t actually something bad, that it wasn’t meant to attack him. He wished just that his body would understand this too.

Instead his lungs felt a little too tight to allow him to breath freely. His room was too bright, so he pressed the heels of his hands to his closed eyes.

Fingers then grabbed his shoulder.

„Jens?“

That was Lucas.

Right. The boy next to him was almost about to leave. Just after they finished this online class. Which remined him that he probably should have listened to that instead of chatting away on his phone with the broerrrs.

„Did something happen?“ The fingers moved to cup his face and turn it, causing his eyes to fall free from the self induced pressure. He blinked his eyes open, trying to look at Lucas, who appeared to be puzzled, but not less worried. „Is there something I can do to help?“

„No, I’m just frustrated.“ That was a lie. Or was it? He definitely felt some sort of frustration, but he was sure it was more directed at himself and not at any of his friends.

„Okay.“ Lucas didn’t believe him, but didn’t say anything else, instead he his thumb began to slowly brush over his cheek. Jens was glad. That’s what he told himself. Aa a part of him wanted Lucas to ask him further. To question it. Even though Jens wasn’t sure if his answers would be honest. So perhaps frustration was the right word in the end.

„Moyo and Aaron are just assholes, saying stupid stuff about me having to go grocery shopping and Robbe hasn’t replied for an hour to defend me.“ Said out loud, it actually sounded childish and dumb. He felt incredibly stupid right now. God, what Lucas must think of him right now, getting worked up over some stupid comments.

For a moment there was only the sound of their teachers voice from the speakers filling the room.

„What did they say?“ Lucas looked at him, still being serious. He wasn’t laughing at Jens as the older boy had expected somehow.

„Nothing bad really. Just why I always have to do so much and have no time for them and our group any longer. Asking if they are no longer important to me. Bullshit like that. We spend basically all saturday playing games together. And Moyo often has to take care of the household and his little brother too. So why does he have to bitch about me? Bullshit.“ Jens groaned. He knew that it was unfair to compare them, like his friend had done in chat. That it was different. 

Yes Moyo had a lot of responibilities at home too. And he fullfilled those diligently. But usually just a couple days a week, not for months straight. And Jens wouldn’t even be in the position if he just simply told them. He was at fault he realised. He probably should apologise for texting them to fuck off and leave him the fuck alone. His exact words from five minutes ago.

He still was angry, so perhaps he could do that a bit later, when he wasn’t so damn emotional.

„That sucks.“ Lucas said, looking a bit at loss for how to handle the situation, Jens couldn’t blame him for that. Obviously he didn’t know the broerrs all that well yet and it did come a bit out of nowhere.

So Jens tried to smile, it had already been enough help, that Lucas had been around and listened to him. Jens actually felt already a bit better. Eating up feelings definitely never was a good idea, he had seen Robbe succumb to that last year. And now he proved them to be not better. 

Why was it so much easier to handle stuff as an outsider looking in and not vice versa?

„Do you want me to call and cancel the appointment with the caretaker? Because I would have to leave in like five to ten minutes otherwise.“ Lucas asked, pressing a kiss to Jens’s temple, brushing through his hair, before he leaned back and closed his laptop. Class was over, it was announced over chat. Lucas never took his eyes off of Jens though.

„Nah, I’m good. Otherwise I’ll call you later and complain for hours how fucked my life is. And you are not allowed to hang up until I say so.“ Jens slowly found his usual self again, smirking at Lucas, who nodded and smiled back.

„Deal!“ The boy proclaimed and then they both got up from his bed, Lucas to collect all his things, he had somehow managed to strew about the whole room, and Jens to put his schoolwork back on his desk. He would go grocery shopping first and do his homework later. Truth be told, later meant obviously not today or when the clock was running towards midnight.

„So I’ll see you on wednesday then?“

Jens almost was about to agree, when his eyes fell on the calender by his desk, the one he rarely used. Only to write his mothers appointments in, because they were important and he didn’t allow himself to forget about them. He couldn’t.

„Thursday?“ He replied therefore, daring to look at Lucas, who was busy packing his things. The younger boy sighed a little sad, but returned a smile at Jens nonetheless.

„Sure.“ He said briefly. Too brief?

„My mother has an appointment, that I accompany her to. I promised her. Sorry. It wasn’t on my mind til now.“ Jens felt the need to explain, unsure if Lucas would be dissapointed otherwise. Obviously he wouldn’t have been, as he looked over to Jens, before he got up and went to meet him at the desk. His arms wrapping around Jens’s middle.

„It is okay if you have other things planed, Jens. I do too, like with today or my own mom. So stop worrying. I can see it on your face. And I don’t want a wrinkly boyfriend, because he frowns all the time. Okay?“

Jens nodded, all his troubles shrinking away as he was being kissed by Lucas. He was so lucky to have this boy, who seemed to understand so easily. With Jana, Jens was sure, they would have fought every day. That made him notice something else.

„Did you just call me boyfriend?“ Jens asked, leaning back to see Lucas eyes go wide, as realisation hit him.

„I...yes?“ He tried cautiously, smiling awkwardly, as his cheeks blushed a faint red. „I mean. I don’t plan on seeing anyone else.“

„Me neither.“ Jens let the other boy know. „But it’s all a bit fast, isn’t it?“

Lucas shrugged.

„What isn’t with us?“

That was indeed a fair point the dutch boy made. And Jens was sure, that in his heart and mind they already were the first time they kissed, though never outspoken. They still didn’t know each other that long.

„My boyfriend then.“ Jens said, the world feeling odd on his tounge. Boyfriend. Who would have thought? Definitely not him. Weirder even, he loved the sound of it immensly. He could say it again and again. On repeat.

„Boyfriend.“ Lucas agreed, giggling softly as he let the word escape his lips and fill the air between them.

„Alright, you can go now.“ Jens declared, nodding towards the packed bag of Lucas next to the bed.

„Very lovely of you.“ Lucas joked, absolutely not offended in the slightest. They kissed again. And maybe one more time, before they broke out of their embrace.

„I guess I can finally start to be my worst around you.“

„So just the usual, huh?“ Lucas said, eyebrow raised, leaving Jens speechless. This boy always had something to hit back with. Always some last word to shut him up. So he simply followed Lucas out of his room and downstairs, giving him the victory.

They stood in the doorway of the entrance, Lucas dressed and ready to go, and yet both of them busy kissing lazily, enjoying their little intimicy.

„See you on thursday then?“ Jens whispered against Lucas’s lips, partly as a reminder for himself, pulling the boy’s closer. If it was even possible, but Lucas hadn’t yet stopped breathing, so perhaps it was still fine.

„Mhm.“ Lucas assured him wordlessly, pecking to more kisses to Lucas, smiling happily away.

„Alright, my beloved boyfriend, Mr. Van der Heijden, off you go.“ Jens tried to put some authority into his voice, ready to let go of Lucas, who, only clung stronger to him in return. Making them both laugh.

„I love when you do that.“ Lucas said quietly, looking away, as he did.

„What?“

„Call me by my last name. I don’t know, makes me happy and maybe a little excited.“ The dutch boy said, his confidence not yet back as his eyes searched for Jens’s again. 

Now that was something Jens hadn’t expected. He just started using it to make light of a situation, to get them back to the real world and do whatever they actually should be doing. Apparently it did had a different effect on Lucas.

„Dully noted.“ Jens said, his eyebrows raised mischievously. He could definitely make use of that. He snorted at how quick Lucas was to step out of his arms and open the door. It looked a bit like fleeing, if not his giggling betrayed him to let Jens believe Lucas was okay. So he let the boy leave.

„See you thursday. Can’t wait.“ Lucas shouted over his shoulder, walking up to the street.

„Me neither, Mr. Van der Heijden!“ Jens yelled after him, laughing as he watched his boyfriend trip over his own feet, trying to keep balance. It earned him a very agressive middlefinger before the door fell shut. 

The incident with his friends, not even an hour ago, completely forgotten.

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tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots