#guess that's feminism

[pillarsalt]

reminiscing ⛰️

[uncanny-tranny]

The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.

Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.

[theweeklydiscourse]

I’m sick of people passing off patronizing and condescending commentary about how naive and impressionable women are as useful and educational. These people will base their analysis of fiction on sexist notions about how easily women are “tempted “ by malevolent villains and then act as if that’s some revolutionary take. They’ll unironically construe the narrative in a way that takes away all agency from the female heroine and frame her decisions as entirely the result of the villain’s manipulation.

They wring their hands about how dangerous it is for women to be exposed to these stories and moan about how terrible it is that hot villains appeal to the “baser instincts” and tempt female viewers further (Yes, I actually saw someone make this argument) It’s truly bizarre to see people agreeing with such patronizingly sexist rhetoric and saying things like “I miss the days when villain romances were cautionary tales and not encouraged.” As if women thirsting after attractive fictional villains is some epidemic that threatens society.

It’s especially irritating when women are the ones saying these things. They want to believe that they are a rare exception that, unlike those other brainless girls, can understand that liking hot villains will threaten their morals and lead them astray…OH THE HORROR!! Please save your dramatic preaching for the next purity conference and stop pretending that your sanctimonious commentary has any substance whatsoever.

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

Been seeing a lot of takes like this and I appreciate where they're coming from, it's a good idea to be especially wary of excessive criticism aimed at things made by and for women but like. Yes you do see hot takes about Marvel, and the lego movie, and Batman films. To say this with your whole chest you have to spend zero time in leftist circles and pay zero attention to criticism of big blockbuster movies or just. Yknow. Lie to make your point.

More relevantly you see this specific thing happen whenever a big corporation makes flaccid listless gestures towards progressivism for the sake of their bottom line. Because the end result is always too toothless to have meaning for leftists while still being offensive enough to right wingers simply by virtue of having a lot of women or gay people or people of colour in it to have them frothing at the mouth. Sexist dudebros hating Barbie doesn't shield it from feminist critique, they were going to hate it whether it succeeded or failed but it can still fail.

And as nice as the big feminist speach in barbie is I have to wonder if its primary purpose is to actually uplift women so much as it is to shut down criticism of the movie and the brand. If even Barbie can't escape this criticism what hope is there for the rest of us, right? Except Barbie isn't a real woman, she's a plastic toy made in sweatshops by a brand attempting to rehabilitate a progressive image out of a long history of being criticized for its portrayal of women because that's what will boost sales. This movie is part of that, and pointing that out is important.

You don't need my or ayone's permission to enjoy the Barbie movie, if it was meaninful to you I'm genuinely happy for you, if you just thought it was fun and funny, great! But to act like the only reason to criticize the movie is sexism is glossing over some very real problems and like, straight up falling for the corporate propaganda. Yes every big blockbuster movie actually does get criticized bc they are political tools that serve the people in power. Not every big blockbuster is also being sold as a feminist masterpiece though, so you probably are gonna hear it more about Barbie. You'll also hear it more about Barbie bc people are hypercritical of women and that will motivate some critique, but to assume bad faith is to shut out conversations that need to happen.

[asynca]

I'd like to provide another perspective to "don't tell people who don't want children that they will want kids one day".

I'm actually the person they're talking about. I was very certain I didn't want kids as a teenager. Very certain in my 20s. Very certain, almost militantly anti-having kids in my 30s. In fact, my wife and I bonded over not wanting children.

Then, at 38, we changed our minds at the last minute and ended up having two kids and being super happy with the choice.

However, I think I lost like 75% of my friends as a result. I had friends straight up tell me "it feels like a betrayal" for us deciding to have kids. In those words. I had people no longer have any interest in my life - in more than just a 'drift into different interests because we're doing different things' way. In a "fuck you" way.

It super hurt, but I think it's very much influenced by how marginalised women (and perhaps also other genders) who choose not to have children are. If people weren't treated paternalistically over the choice not to have children and treated like they didn't know and understand their own minds, it wouldn't have caused such a knee-jerk reaction in these people when I decided to. It wouldn't feel like I was proving all the assholes right just by changing my mind. It wouldn't feel like I was betraying them and 'selling out' when I decided I wanted kids.

Treating people like they don't know their minds with regards to not wanting kids hurts them if they continue not to want kids, but it will also impact people who eventually decide to have kids.

Part of the reason I second-guessed myself for an entire year about wanting kids was because I wasn't sure if I really wanted them or I was caving to external pressure, and the other part was feeling like I was proving the paternalistic assholes right by changing my mind.

Believe people when they say they want kids... but also allow them (and yourself) the flexibility to understand that sometimes people change in ways they themselves don't expect to.

[aishabellasbigblogofeverything]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

[myopicry]

I can't stay away from tumblr because I like reading radfem and gender critical blogs (and also I live here unfortunately just by virtue of being a gay loser artist) and this is the most populated place for that kind of discussion, but holy shit it gets so bleak seeing just how easily radfems are strawmanned and how the most popular posts on this website are still so deeply entrenched in very cognitively dissonant thought built on misogyny and refuses to engage with any kind of opposition or critique.

I believe in healthy discourse and discussion! I want to hear people's arguments and insights and learn why people believe certain things! but one (very large, very popular) ideological side of this website is so fundamentally incurious and hostile towards changing their minds at all, and there's just such a lack of what could be a really productive public forum where feminist and progressive thought could be freely discussed, this being a women-dominated and same-sex attraction dominated website and all. especially because it's already so difficult to discuss those kinds of things in real life as the majority of people don't really care or relate to any of it.

I really wish I could just log off forever sometimes and never have to think about this again. alas, I quite like to think, and the internet is still the best way to find the community and the perspectives which I seek. born to participate in community and discussion of theory, forced to gaze upon a field of strawmen alone (⌣_⌣”)

[dhaaruni]

All my homies hate pro-natalism

[heartless-aro]

As an aro ace woman, there’s something fascinating to me about seeing people, including acephobes and arophobes, in recent days talk passionately about the 4B movement and discussing the backlash against it. It’s interesting how, now that a substantial number of the people doing it are straight alloromantic allosexual women, choosing not to have sex and choosing to be nonpartnering are being spoken of as radical acts that society punishes women for. How come it isn’t radical or subversive when I do it?

Aphobia and misogyny intersect in so many ways, but when they do intersect, so many people only want to acknowledge the misogyny aspect of things (which is important, but still not the entire picture). I’m aware that aromantic and asexual women are not the only women affected by politicians declaring “childless cat ladies” to be worthless or sexist men resorting to rape threats at the slightest hint that some women may choose not to date or have sex with them. But I do wish that people were more willing to acknowledge how aromantic and asexual women are disproportionately harmed by the violent reactions misogynists have towards women who say no.

[cordycepsfem]

So my girlfriend and I went to our local Pride event today, one that I’ve written about previously here.

I did not want to go. This is because I am new-task-avoidant, and Pride was on one day of my usually tightly-hoarded weekend. But she asked that I go and meet some of her friends from her volunteering group so I said sure.

Meeting her friends was great - they’re fun and welcoming people from a variety of backgrounds, and I’m glad we did that. I hope we can spend time with them again soon.

Then we go out to the actual festival part. It is loud. There are people everywhere. This is unsurprising because it is a pride event in a major city. As people we are not fond of loud, crowded events… but we made the effort to get here so we’re going to go through it.

So we start walking.

As we make our way through the crowds I realize that the two of us are some of the more conservative-looking individuals there. We’re in T-shirts, shorts, baseball caps, functional shoes. There are many, many people in what we on here are all familiar with as “queer” costuming - it’s loud, it’s ugly, and it’s adorned with pins and stickers demanding attention. Many people have giant flags around their necks.

We see booths with obviously female individuals selling merchandise emblazoned with “f*ggot” doing a robust business. Lots of apparel and accessories that scream “I have an identity and I’m here to make it your problem!!” One booth has a pin showing a mastectomy-scarred chest reading “the no-titty committee” which causes me to let out a sad noise, because sure enough I’ve seen at least ten individuals with bare chests and some awful mastectomy scars wandering around. Some have glitter or fancy tape adoring their scars. Others have very obvious “dog ears” which look sloppy and painful.

(Note: I am not saying that having scars is awful. I am saying that the way the incisions were made was imprecise, leaving scars that are larger and that look worse as compared to, like, an actually good surgeon performing a regulated procedure with a standardized course, and not a “gender medicine professional.” This is obviously my own bias from doing research and from seeing others “in the wild” and should only be taken as my opinion. I have plenty of scars; the surgical ones all look clean and well-executed. These did not.)

We keep walking. There were at least two furry booths. Lots of people in puppy masks. Plenty of trans-focused groups.

We buy a few things at some of the more relevant booths and I stop to talk to one group about a job. My girlfriend says she’s ready to go, so we cut around the rest of the park and head for a nearby bookstore.

As we’re walking she takes my hand. “That pride wasn’t for us.”

“No.”

“I don’t know who it was for, but it wasn’t for us.”

I said “I told you so” in the kindest of voices but it was really just sad. This event and so many others happening this month are no longer for actual LGBT people. They are a celebration of the commodification of “queer” identity. Were there some booths there with people doing good work for those in our communities? Yes, without a doubt. But was there a bigger contingent of people there to give a “fuck you” to the world? Yep.

The first Pride events were to show straight people that LGBT people were not sexual deviants. Now the sexual deviants have booths at the Pride events.

I would just like a lesbian event. Just women. I’m willing to start it and run it. Girlfriend was so excited to go to Pride, and I think she left more disappointed than anything else. There are no longer a lot of “normies” at Pride. They have to be somewhere, so where?

[annabelle--cane]

do you know how fucking mad it makes me that the hilltop hole in reality and the panopticon tower can feasibly be read as yonic and phallic symbols of power. can you understand the level of rage I feel.

[ladyloveandjustice]

so idk something that kind of bothers the "we must save men from the alt right pipeline" because "we're hating for their immutable traits"

why

why specifically are men the ones who we need to always do this for.

I think it would sound ridic to say this about terfs. Terfs are turning to terfism because they don't feel welcome, we need to be gentler and more loving and more of a community and they'll see the light. Terfs as a class are so oppressed by an unloving society :(

Or hey imagine saying this about white women. You don't have to imagine it it's been done and its bad. I think we've all agreed that posting a manifesto on how white women should be treated nicer by POC and its leftism's job to save white women from going conservative always sucks.

So why is it up to women now. Why is it up to us.

I agree leftism needs to be a more welcoming place that doesn't crucify people for mistakes, or react with hostility to questions. I personally want that. But it's weird to frame this as something we need to do for (mostly white) men specifically, but like, not like conservative white women, conservative woc, conservative trans women??? There's a lot out there.

I dunno. it rubs me to frame the message of this. I don't want to actively go around saving white men and boys from themselves/other white men, I've been asked to do that all my life.

I don't think we should be hostile, I'm not a person that would ever say kill all men (tbh even ignoring the fact there are marginalized men...language like that in general...kill all (enemy) has always been uncomfortable for me. Some people can change) I don't react to them with hostility, you know, men are just fine as long as they're fine with me. I'm happy to have them as allies, happy to get behind trans men, gay men, men of color when they need help.

But I do know some women just give a dni because they're traumatized. And idk, maybe they deserve to be treated gently. Maybe everyone does.

I think leftists need to be kinder and more welcoming sure. I think we need to focus on change and banding together But framing the convo around saving men. That men are special and alienated and we're specifically failing them somehow. It doesn't sit well.

I do thing putting stuff into a binary of good or evil and just kind of reinventing conservatism in that way is a huge probem,...I don't know...Can't we just be nicer and in-fight less for the sake of being welcoming in general? For everyone? Can't we come together and be more accepting of people because a community is stronger together? Can't we have unity and nuance because of that?

I don't want to do it to save men from their own decisions, I don't feel inclined to engage with hostile guys, I just want to be nice and open and we all have less of a feeling people might turn against you over any little thing.

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be a half-baked theory, but I wonder how much of the "think of the children!!" ideals that are almost... aimed at women rely on the idea of women as Forever Children.

What I notice is that a lot of these ideas of corruption in youth are feminized in a way that evokes motherhood, but I also notice that many people blur the lines between women or anybody forced into or expected to be women and children so that they are as one.

[divine-misfortune]

H-Housewife Rainy…..All dolled up waiting for her husband to come home…..

Blame @forlorn-crows she encouraged this idk-

[shoujoboy-restart]

I (cis male) feel a bit alienated by the narrative of "young are disenfranchised and that's why the far-right is able to recruit them" not because it's wrong or it's not a true statement by most part but the thing is: the disenfranchisement is mostly caused by right wing and conservative narratives within our culture, and left wingers aren't responsible for creating it but they haven't been able to provide too decent of a remedy for it and are too focused on solely scolding cis het men for having been convinced by these right wing narratives into going against their self interest.

In reality, right wingers convince people the cause the disenfranchisement and male abandonent is actually at fault of progressive ideals within society.

For example the whole "male loneliness" debacle, yeah, cis het men are struggling a lot with loneliness, isolation and lack of connections, but that is mostly platonic and also with their family and relatives, however red pillers are able to convince men that Acshually™ they should focus solely on romantic and sexual connections with women ("no you are not gay or bisexual, that's leftist propaganda made gender theory marxist post modernism so stop being a fag") and that in fact this is the fault of feminism and leftism because women now don't have to rely on random men to function within a misogynistic society where a woman can't get a education or a house without a husband's permission.

Yes, leftism needs to abandon the whole shitting on men and the whole quirky misandry shit if they want to convince young males to just not be horrible people.

However, comma, in addition. Realistically speaking, even if you were doing the most mollycoddling towards men and became a an actual pick-me, no, many of these dudes wouldn't become normal because misogynistic and sexist ideologies would still be in effect, profitable and socially dominant. So yeah throw out the "kill all men" mentality but also don't be fucking mollycoddling mysoginy and sexism mindsets "cuz different opinions".

[foxoftheasterisk]

so there's this problem where people use "girl" to refer to adult women all the time

the reason, of course, being that "girl" is casual in a way "woman" will never be

it doesn't happen with guys because. there's the word "guy" for them.

ALL THAT IN MIND,

we need to repopularize the word "gal"