#guess I'm just going to have to go bother Leia now

[kakashihasibs]

[david-talks-sw]

I got a good feeling about "The Acolyte"

Not even kidding. Like, I've spoken before about why I'm wary of it.

George Lucas' Star Wars is something that intentionally has black and white morality, rather than shades of gray. Those movies are meant for kids and projecting a "gray" morality onto them then proclaiming it was George's vision all along is doing so in bad faith.

The narrative of the Prequels doesn't frame the Prequel Jedi in as negative a light as Leslye Headland, Dave Filoni, etc etc do.

See here for more details, but bottom line: yeah, a show that has a darksider as the underdog is bound to demonize the Jedi (who are the actual underdogs in the Prequels), and obviously that rubs me the wrong way.

BUT.

The trailer looks fucking cool. It really really does.

And more importantly? I've done some research... and Leslye Headland is ticking a lot of good boxes, in my book.

1. The Acolyte won't be a 10-hour movie.

I've criticized Disney Plus shows before, explaining that a big source for most of their issues is that these series are being structured as "long movies" rather than, y'know, actual shows.

But in this interview with Collider, Headland addresses that: it'll be a series. Not a long movie that you need to watch across four weeks.

Thank God. You have no idea how much that comforts me. Finally a showrunner who's, y'know, actually running a show.

And this goes hand in hand with what she told IGN, here, about how she's going about building suspense.

Yes! Exactly! That's how it's supposed to be!

Like, compare this to Baylan Skoll's storyline in Ahsoka.

In no possible way was that emotionally-fulfilling. For 8 episodes we had no idea what he was after, and the season ended where we still don't know. What does he want? What is he after? Your guess is as good as mine, it's something Mortis-related.

So yeah. Maybe getting the Emmy-nominated trained screenwriter on board to run this was a good idea.

2. Maybe the Jedi will not be as demonized as I originally thought.

Don't get me wrong. 80% of what she says about the Jedi makes me cringe. It's the typical fan's interpretation and y'all know I disagree with that interpretation.

It's painful to see her refer to the Jedi as an institution (not how the Prequels' narrative frames them) and to see her frame "Balance" in the "oh there's so many of them and just two Sith, that means the Force is out of balance" meaning... but at least she acknowledges the Jedi are a benevolent institution.

They're not an "elitist force hiding in their ivory tower" as others have described the Jedi.

Moreover, there'll be a variety of Jedi POVs, many personalities.

Yord Fandar, is described as a strictly by-the-book Jedi Knight and guardian from the Jedi Temple, is an overachiever and a rule follower.

The question now becomes: will the narrative frame him as "your typical Jedi" or is it just this one guy? I'm hoping it's the latter.

I also like how her reasoning goes re: Jedi drawing their lightsabers.

Which explains the hand-to-hand combat seen in the trailer.

This teenager is coming at Carrie-Ann Moss with a dagger, of course the Jedi won't draw her saber.

3. She's a fan of Star Wars... but a screenwriter first.

You can tell in the interviews she's a fan. She's using words like "BBY" and "EU" casually. In the above-linked interviews she's bringing up the Nightsisters, Timothy Zahn, The Clone Wars, she mentions she has a tattoo of Ralph McQuarrie's concept art of Leia, the High Republic books, etc.

She's done her homework. She's a fan.

But the vibe I'm getting from these interviews is that she's weaving in these various lore-elements in a more organic way, rather than in the "fan-servicey" way Dave Filoni has been doing in his shows.

The references and Easter Eggs will be there, but the narrative won't bend over itself just so you can get it. Crafting a good story comes first, and Andor is a beautiful illustration of why this is true.

Which is why I was never bothered about one of the writers never having watched Star Wars before getting the job. You need those fresh eyes when you're tackling something of this scale.

That makes sense to me. Maybe it's because of my own screenwriting experience, but yeah. That out-of-the box perspective is precious.

And like, obviously, that writer watched the films eventually, but for some reason everyone who bitched about Headland omitted that detail and opted for a more bad faith interpretation.

Hm. Wonder why.

Maybe it's the same reason that months ago this clipped audio circulated socials without context, in which she debates whether Star Wars only came from George Lucas and only Lucas is the key.

The FULL context of that interview reveals that she's actually:

debating the "autheur director" myth and positing that it was achieved by a collective of excellent filmmakers and craftspeople that George was skilled and smart enough to recruit...

the studios now think it's a simple as hiring one guy and throwing money at him, because they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. See Napoleon (2023) for example.

Yes, she also does a jab to the Prequels, which speaks to the generation of fans she's a part of... but overall she's giving Lucas props whilst also stating an ideological difference, that's it!

George is a proponent of the "autheur" theory, Leslye isn't.

However, guess what, in like half the talks George gave post-selling Star Wars? He's giving shoutouts to everyone who helped make the first film, even remembering their names.

So I'm not even sure he'd vehemently disagree with Leslye, in fact they'd prolly have a conversation about it and immediately bitch about how stupid studio executives are :D

But that's not as incendiary, is it? Again, the more I do the research, the more it feels like the reason most of these influencers are hating on her is purely sexist.

I mean, on IGN she's even acknowledging that she does plan on taking stock of fan reactions for Season 2.

It's not a guarantee that she'll incorporate the feedback, but at least that's more consideration than, say, JJ Abrams or Rian Johnson gave the fandom.

She's even bringing the moral ambiguity that the Gray Jedi-loving edge-lords love so much.

"No, she's a woke feminist! Anything she does is evil! Eww, girls!"

🙄

Needless to say... I'm gonna give it a shot.

I think it's gonna be a good show, I think it's gonna be a solid story.

I'm crossing my fingers that they won't as biased against the Jedi as it seems they'll be. Even if they are... if it's still an enjoyable experience, I'll gloss over it.

As @gffa states in this post:

Worst case? It's not a story from George. I can dismiss it from my headcanon without a moment's hesitation :D

[liminalpebble]

Eddie's Education, Chapter 30

Minors DNI

Masterlist link

Chapter 30

“I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.”

“So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

Eddie paused his dramatic recitation, hastily marking his raggedy paperback edition of The Lord of the Rings with a dogeared corner. He thought for a moment that he saw her stir, begin to wake, anything...but he was just seeing what he wanted to see out of the corner of his eye. It must have been the hundredth time he checked.

He reached over to hold Leia's hand. He didn't like seeing her lovely arms tangled up in tubes and medical tape and the mask strapped over her mouth, it looked a little too much like Vecna's trap. The memory was still fresh; literal and figurative wounds still raw.

His big coffee-colored eyes welled up, and his throat ached as his gaze shifted to the pile of books he'd brought to read to her. The same ones always called out to him from the bottom of the stack each time he looked; The Haunting of Hill House and The Silmarillion.

Her books, he always thought to himself (although she had given them to him). Books that had traveled with her all her life, smelled like her perfume, and contained handwritten letters to him on their front pages. Eddie couldn't bring himself to read them yet. To do so felt like he would be admitting her absence was permanent. It felt like giving up on her.

When she wakes up, she'll tell me herself. She'll look into my eyes and smile and tell me all the sweet things she wrote and she'll tell me her dreams for our lives together now that all this is over and I'll get to kiss her again and hold her again and...

Eddie put his head in his hands, rubbing roughly at his red eyes in frustration, nearing tears, when he heard a stern voice.

“Edward Munson.”

He looked up to see two of Hawkins' finest in their uniforms and buzz cuts staring him down.

He swallowed and heaved out a heavy sigh, disguising his feelings with a veneer of annoyance. “It's 'Eddie', Brad. You know that. We went to high school together.”

“Watch it,” Brad said in a warning tone, “it's Officer Vernon now.”

Eddie rolled his eyes then plastered on a shit-eating grin as he said, “and what can I do for you this fine day, Officers?” dripping with condescension.

The other one, whose face was still pock-marked with acne and looked like he belonged in gym class, not on the force, said, “I guess we should cut to the point, right? Officer Vernon and I have been putting some things together about you, Mr. Munson.”

Eddie raised his eyebrow in mock-surprise. “Such as?”

Brad spoke up louder, annoyed that it was taking this long, “That two very strange deaths have occurred in the last week...John Ferguson and Sam Huxley. Now, looking into things, it seems your new little girlfriend over there rubbed both of these guys the wrong way. AND...their autopsy reports look a whole lot like Chrissy Cunningham's...remember her, Eddie? You should, since you were the last one to see her alive.”

Eddie stood up, getting right in Brad's stupid pig face and said through gritted teeth, barely holding himself back, “Leia didn't do anything to anybody, and neither did I. You just want some easy targets and to get off on some little power trip. If you have rude bullshit to say about me, or especially, about her, you're not going to spout it off here, Barney Fife! Have some fucking respect.”

The piss ant one who looked like he was 14 said, “Why bother? She's in a coma.”

Eddie grabbed the front of his uniform with a wild look in his eyes, vibrating with rage.

Just then a burly cop with thick gray hair, a goatee, and a permanent scowl sauntered up behind them, looking over his glasses and holding a mug of coffee. He bellowed out, “Hey. What the fuck, guys? I'm months from retirement and you're here to pull this stupid bully act? What are you, 12?”

The two officers turned around. The young one looked ready to piss his pants. Brad squeaked out, “Chief Hopper!! Sir.”

Hop just shook his head and looked to Eddie. “Easy, kid. Let's talk.” He looked back to his subordinates and commanded, “and you two....fuck off, will you? You don't go anywhere near either of them again or I'll have you on desk duty for the rest of your lives. Learn some respect. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir,” they mumbled, slinking off with their tails between their legs.

When they were out of earshot and out of view, Eddie slumped out of his aggressive stance to land heavily right back into the plastic chair, head flopping heavily back into his hands. Hop pulled up a chair next to him and patted him on the shoulder. After a long moment, Eddie sat back up with a deep inhale and said, “I thought in 15 years Brad would have grown a brain cell or two. Guess I was wrong.”

Hop gave a deep chuckle and said, “Sorry about that. If it's any consolation, I didn't hire them.”

Eddie chuckled. “Thanks for the save, Hop, but I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 35.”

Hop grunted in affirmation and blew on his coffee. “Yeah I know, but when I look at you, I still see that scared kid with a good heart stuck in a holding cell. You had a whole lifetime's worth of tough breaks by the time you were 18...not to mention a complete asshole of an old man.”

Eddie smiled faintly at the memory. “You helped me out. I don't think you know how much. I still owe you for that.”

“No, you don't,” Hop said, with a soft shake of his head, “this town owes you. You were a hero and it never even knew. All it's ever done is take from you and beat you down. You and I know the truth of everything..all this unbelievable weird shit that's gone on in this godforsaken place...it's a lot to live with. I hope you and that nice girl leave Hawkins in the dust some day soon. You deserve better...a place where you can breathe easy.”

Eddie turned, blinking in disbelief and said, slowly, meaning it from the depth of his soul, “Thank you, Hop.” Old Jim was usually a man of few words, so this heartfelt monologue came as a real shock.

Hopper cleared his throat. “What um...What's the prognosis?”

It took Eddie a long time to respond. “They...uh...they have no idea. None of it is anything they've seen before. The upside-down does weird things to....they..they don't know.”

He trailed off, and Hop figured it was time to change the subject.

“Have you slept at all? It's been three days....eaten?”

“Um. I think? Here and there,” Eddie answered in a daze, aware of his own body for the first time in half a week. He tested the waters of this awareness by stretching his back gingerly, which gave up a loud crack of complaint in response. He looked down at his arms and saw his own collection of bruises and cuts. They looked painful, but he hardly felt them. All he could think about was her, and how he was determined to be by her side when her eyes opened, even if he had to sleep in that chair another week, another month...another year...the rest of his life.

They both looked up, as they heard the click of approaching dress shoes. Eddie groaned and tapped his head back against the wall, whining, “Oh Jesus, what the fuck now?”

Two men and one lady in severe black suits made their way into Leia's room. Eddie scowled, and quipped “Sure, come right in. Make yourselves at home.”

Hopper was relieved to see El (his adopted daughter) trailing closely behind them. Maybe she could explain all this. He had an idea of where they were from and it made him uneasy, but El had dealt with these government types so many times (was raised by them, even, before she ran away). She would know who and how much to trust.

Eddie squinted for a moment, digging into his foggy recollection of those early days after his extraction from the upside-down. “You...I know you.”

The lady smiled, but not warmly. “Yes, Mr. Munson. We were the ones who helped get you well again. We've been studying this other dimension since it's discovery...”

“You mean, since your people tortured and tested children in a laboratory to bust into it and make it everyone's problem.”

The man next to her huffed, but she responded coolly with an amused grin. “Yes. I suppose you could frame it that way. However, medical techniques from our research are what saved your life and they're going to be what saves hers. But, of course there are conditions.”

Eddies brows shot up. “Conditions? You're willing to withhold life-saving medical attention, which she needs because of your project gone haywire in the first place, if we don't agree to your 'conditions'?” He scoffed, “What is wrong with you people?”

“Hear us out, Mr. Munson. If you don't, she will never wake up again,” she stated bluntly.

All he could do was gulp. They knew exactly where they had him, pressing a blade right through the most devastatingly vulnerable rend in his armor...his love for her.

“Alright...I'm listening.”

@sweetsigyn @veemoon @elegantkoalapaper @little-wormwood

[ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask]

This is my first time ever being tagged in something like this. It's very exciting.

How many works do you have on AO3?

Under my Brown_Coat profile I have 22, under Space_Dweeb 4.

(I made a separate account way back when because Space_Dweeb was my holdout from FFN, but when I decided that I wanted to just bite the bullet and start writing cute shippy stories I was afraid of associating it with my "serious" works. I know it's dumb. I lead a double life. I am a fraud and a charlatan.)

What's your total AO3 word count?

BC - 76,137 SD - 112,868

What fandoms do you write for?

Pretty much exclusively Halo. I wrote a story for the Illuminae Files a little while ago because I read that trilogy this spring and it changed the chemical balance of my brain and hasn't let me go since. I also write some for the Artemis Fowl fandom because by golly somebody is going to keep the Holly Short/Trouble Kelp tag alive!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Promise - The only in-universe John/Cortana ship that I've ever written.

Serenity - A Halo/Firefly crossover in which Blue Team are made into space cowboys and I love it.

Halo: Homecoming (formerly titled Welcome Home) - My most bestest creation. The first actual story I ever wrote to completion.

Twenty-ish Days - A series of Halo one-shots as a summer follow up to my other story, Twelve Days (which was a series of one-shots counting down the twelve days of Christmas)

Take Care of Each Other - Another entry on the list of "Why This Dude Should Not Be Allowed To Name Things." Anyhow, it's - you guessed it - a series of one-shots. This time they are all focused on the Fred-104/Kelly-087 ship because I have shipped those two since I first found the Halo novels in middle school and I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I let that tag slip quietly into that good night.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Comments are an uncomfortably large portion of my self-esteem, particularly as a writer of dimestore trash fics. I definitely respond to comments, because I'm desperate to keep people commenting.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I angle heavily toward the bright-and-happy side of things. Personally think that there's too much angst in the world without me adding to it.

Having said that, the last chapter of Twenty-ish Days dealt with some angst and some character death that I won't spoil here on the off-chance that someone may read this and feel inspired to go find out for themselves. Other than that... maybe Mister Zhordee? It's a Halo-fied retelling of the song Mr Shorty by Marty Robbins, which has a decent touch of angst to it I suppose.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, I lean toward the happy endings naturally so this is kind of a tough one. In general though, I'd say my dumb college AU series The University of Northern South Carolina because every one of those has been happy.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. On some of the stuff I still bother to cross-post to FFN I have gotten some weird comments from people who didn't understand the universe I was building in my Halo/Firefly crossover, but other than that anyone who's bothered to leave a comment has been very pleasant.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. I like to keep that level of intimacy just between my wife and me.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Serenity, the Halo/Firefly crossover I've been slowly chipping away at for some time now. I'm also (spoilers?) kicking around an idea of a DnD crossover just for the fun of it all.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. I did get a meme stolen once though.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nuh uh.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I co-wrote Halo Fractured Glass: Fireteam Cutlass with a friend of mine. We made a Spartan pirate crew. A plentitude of both kicks and giggles were had.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Fred/Kelly probably. Or Han/Leia. Or Fred/Daphne. Man, I don't know. I just love love I guess.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One time, for no reason at all, I looked up Harry Potter fanfiction. I have avoided it forever because I actually like the established relationships in the universe and detest anything that implies a romantic connection between Hermione and Draco, so it's a pretty clear no-fly zone for me. However, during this one occurrence I somehow stumbled upon a ship of Katie Bell and Oliver Wood, read all of the stories with that tag, and then wrote ~70% of a one-shot of my own for the pair. Will most likely never finish it, because I really don't have much reason to do so.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told (by kpmh2001, one of my all-time favorite authors and people) that I have somehow harnessed a talent in writing cute fluffy stories. Personally I like to think that I'm good at writing action sequences, but I have no outside information to corroborate that.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Keeping a coherent plot, and keeping my focus for more than a single chapter at a time. I'm absolute garbage at it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I speak fluent Portuguese (lived in Brazil for two years in my late teens/early 20s) so I'm confident with that. I can also understand Spanish, but every time I try to speak or write it still comes out in Portuguese so I end up relying pretty heavily on Google to fix my errors there.

First fandom you wrote for?

I think I have at least a dozen notebooks with Clone Wars fanfiction strewn throughout my parents' house. I'm a Star Wars man at heart, even though I don't ever write anything in that universe.

Favorite fic you've ever written?

Already said it, but Halo: Homecoming takes this spot again. It probably doesn't hold up as well as I like to think it does, but being my first ever success at writing an actual story with plot and motivation and a concrete ending has cemented it in my personal hall of fame.

@authortobenamedlater tagged me in this (and it was super fun, thanks for including me!)

Unfortunately, she is the only person I know on this site, so I don't really have anyone else to tag.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Top 10 tropes/cliches/trends that I'm sick and tired of!

In no particular order.

1. Get down!

Someone screams ''Get down!'' or ''Look out!'' but not everybody gets down. Most of the time it's fine. The characters don't have enough time to react and get hit with an attack or whatnot. What I am actually mad about is when characters have quite a lot of time to get out of the way and they're not distracted by anything yet just choose to just stand there and do nothing.

That also applies to whoever is screaming for them to watch out. You see your friend is in danger, you have an ability that can be useful, do something!

But the most infuriating iteration of that cliche is when they say a character's name before whatever they are screaming and it somehow makes anybody else unable to hear what they're talking about.

''Bob, the train is coming!''

‘’My name is Eric, not Bob. I guess I'll just stand on the track and not even acknowledge what I've heard.’’

Extra salt to the wound when the character can totally see what is coming or at least they should but the animators couldn't be bothered to keep track of who and what is where in relation to each other.

2. Meta

I fucking LOATHE this new trend where they make self referential humor to mock the earnestness of the old stories.

Can’t they just let us get immersed in the universe without having those “We know it’s cliché *wink wink*” Especially when they do nothing to deconstruct it, show it in a new light, have an interesting spin on it, nothing. They just point it out like in CinemaSins! And it's especially annoying when they're ''breaking the stereotypes'' which have been broken years ago.

‘’She's not like other girls/princesses! She fights, speaks her mind, and doesn't want to get married to someone she doesn't love at all.’‘

Wow, you broke new ground. It's not like princesses in the 90s were already independent, princes Leia was a badass in the 70s, and even the older princesses, Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty, get way too much hate. Go subvert the cliche which hasn't been used in years and replace it with this other cliche. There are adults and children today who haven't seen a legitimate, 100% helpless, damsel in distress. Seriously, at this point, I would've been more shocked if there was an actual romance in a Disney princess movie.

And they act so smug about it too. Do you want to talk about unwanted marriage? How about you talk about child brides right now? Because that would be actually controversial in those countries!

Just make a movie about a badass princess, nobody cares!

3. Squidward like character

Do you remember how in the bad episodes of Spongebob, Squidward would be just minding his own business, not harming anyone and then Patrick and Spongebob would just barge in and mess everything up. Squidward would straight up say that he wants them to leave but those two numskulls couldn't take a hint. The episode just ends with no consequence whatsoever for the people who made an innocent person's day a living nightmare.

This used to be everywhere! Seemingly every cartoon channel would at least have one cartoon like that if not more.

I guess the idea is that the children are supposed to relate to the annoying obnoxious little brats energetic and innocent little angels who just want to have fun with their parent/older sibling friend but he's being boring and doesn't know how to have fun.

How did the meme go? The older you get the more you relate to Squidward.

4. Why are you surprised by this?

Don't you just hate when a character doesn't know something that should've been common knowledge?

Ash not knowing pokemon can only say their own name, not knowing what contests are or whatever the gimmick for the season/game is.

People not knowing what mutants are or where to go when they find out they're a mutant.

I know shows and movies need to explain their lore and world building but can't you find a better way than creating that one moron character who asks all the basic questions and gets lectured and info dumped on. At least make them like Tarzan, raised in the jungle not knowing anything else about the world.

5. Super-let-down

When you have a team of superheroes one, if not the most, important and interesting part is their relationship and dynamic. Who's the parent of the team, who's the heart, who's the jokester? How do their superpowers mix, who needs to be careful to not hurt who, what combo moves they can pull off, how they cover each other weaknesses?

Wouldn't it be cool to see super villains do something like that? Guess what? They just argue all the time and when they fight they just get in each other's way. It's especially frustrating when they stop attacking the hero to fight each other. Even more so when the hero is egging them on by saying something along the lines ''Shouldn't you be the leader?'', ''Who's going to be the one to finish me off?'' or ''Are you going to let them treat you like that?'' It makes the villains look like complete idiots with the mentality of a kindergartner.

What a waste of a potentially great team!

Sinister six from the Spectacular Spider-Man is the closest to the satisfying villain team. Wish they had more screen time! They had great chemistry and their banter went above throwing insults at each other.

6. Too many supers in New York City

Since the MCU became big average people started to wonder, if all those superheroes exist in the same universe, then where were they when -insert huge event from a solo hero movie here- was going on.

At least DC has an excuse that pretty much every superhero has their own city to take care of.

It's especially outrages when you have the avengers, fantastic four, spider-man, and probably many others I can't remember right now leaving in the same city. What's also funny is when they meet and act as if they never heard of each other.

7. Stop with all the food!

Recently a lot of Disney movies and shows will have excessively long scenes of food making and I don't know why.

I know that movies that want to showcase some culture focus on the food too because it's part of the culture but come on. I don't want a tutorial on how to cook, put it on a DVD. Animators just want to flex how great they are at animating food, just like anime.

I know it's a weird thing to get hung up on but in a movie, every minute counts and the movie just wasted 1-5 minutes on food porn. Just put the food in the background, make it last a couple of seconds, or be part of the story.

8. Characters look never changes

I know characters always having the same clothes saves time and budget. Animators even make jokes/try to justify it by showing multiple versions of the same outfit.

It gets confusing when supposedly years have passed yet everybody looks the same. That's why I appreciate HTTYD. They let their characters grow up.

9.Did you switch bodies or voices?

I know that you want people to be able to tell who is in who’s body but vocal cords aka voice are part of the body and should stay in the body they belong to.

Change characters' posture, body language, way of speaking, etc.

But please don't change the eyes. It somehow makes even less sense and looks creepy.

10. Fight-cut-Scene

Do you ever see those fights when characters talk for a bit, throw a punch or kick, stop to talk some more, and again and again? Looking at you CW! Also, a massive amount of cutting to hide that the actors don't know how to fight and imitate speed. You know you can just show people being fast, right? Just because something or someone is out of the frame doesn't mean they stopped existing.

[otterandterrierwrites]

I have an idea for the next Hungry Hearts chapter that I've been procrastinating on writing for a number of reasons, and of course that the first thing I did just now when opening the doc was not to go and try to write this chapter, but to reread the whole fic from the start

Which is a mistake.

I don't think the first chapters are bad necessarily but, first of all, they weren't beta-read so I'm noticing mistakes now that I think I will go back and edit.

More important though, it bothers me that there's only three chapters before the one where there's an almost kiss, so not much time after ANH has passed and there isn't much development on the page in Han and Leia's relationship leading up to this chapter. This is because this wasn't conceived as a multichapter but as a collection of one-shots specifically focused on shared meals, so I pictured all that development happened indeed off the page. And I guess I didn't imagine I'd write over ten chapters or that they'd be in chronological order.

But I don't think I'll go back and write an extra chapter, so

[shipcestuous]

this is more of a personal question and i don't know if you take these, but does anyone irl know that you ship incest? i always have to hide it and i feel like i'm making a terrible job at it, like when an incest scene comes up in a movie or something i have to pretend to be disgusted when in fact i'm rotting for it lmao

Personal questions are fine and this is a very relevant topic for the blog!

I totally get what you're talking about, Anon!

I don't know anyone who is an incest shipper like I am, but one time my friend confessed to shipping the father and daughter from Suburgatory, and I couldn't believe it, my mind was blown. I told her I could see what she was talking about, but I never even hinted at how extensive my own incest shipping was.

She had actually seen me react with genuine disgust to an unexpected scene of incest in Angels and Insects, which we had been watching together before I got into incest shipping. And she thought I was overreacting, but that was how I really felt about it at the time, although there was more than just incest to put one off about that scene and I think it may have been a combination things.

Anyway, it's remarkable she told me about Suburgatory despite the way I had reacted before (although that was 10 years earlier and she might have forgotten). And I wonder now why I didn't venture a little more confession on my part but I don't regret it, I think I must have had some instinct about it. Plus she was not as into shipping as I was anymore, even though we had both been very into it in our teens.

But I have heard from many people here on Tumblr that they have friends who are incest shippers, or siblings who are incest shippers, or they've told friends or siblings that they ship incest and it has been accepted even if the other person(s) didn't really 'get it'. You know your friends, so you would know much better than I would if they would never accept something like that, but based on what I've heard from many people on here, it's very possible to confess something like this to friends and have it go just fine.

In terms of hiding it, I would caution you not to act disgusted. It's counterproductive to "the cause", not that your friends are Hollywood producers or media or anything like that, lol. Although if they're acting disgusted and then looking to you to see your reaction, I can see why you would. I remember I was babysitting an older girl, she was like 10 or so, and we were listening to one of the Bad Lip Reading songs about Star Wars, and Luke was mentioning how pretty Leia was, and Obi-Wan is like, "I need to tell you something about that girl". And the girl I was babysitting and I were both laughing and making faces at each other like, you know, like Luke had some pretty disturbing news coming to him. So sometimes you just react the way other people are reacting no matter how you feel about it.

Not that you're looking for advice, but what I would advise you or anyone to do, assuming you weren't ready to confess to enjoying incest in fiction and incest shipping, is just say that it doesn't really bother you that much. You don't have to say you like it, but you can say it doesn't disgust you that much or whatever. It's kind of a middle ground. And that way you don't have to act or put on a show, and maybe it even clears the way for a future confiding.

And of course there's the tried and true course of confessing to liking a single incest ship a lot. Like Cesare/Lucrezia, Alex/Justin, Jaime/Cersei, whatever. Something popular. If everyone knows you like an incest ship, but for a long time it's only that ship, then you can later be like, "Oh, and this ship too, I guess. *shrug*" And build from there. Ease them into it.

Wow, I rambled. Sorry, Anon! Thanks for your question.

[fictionwordcounts]

Teamwork [Luke x Reader]

Word Count: 4000+

Summary: When a rag tag team of "rebels" save you from imperial imprisonment, you are immediately faced with danger. The only ways you can think of surviving are by disguising as stormtroopers, or jumping down the garbage shoot...or both.

Requested on Wattpad.com at StarkWars084

Warnings: Reader is trapped underwater

Your tightly bound hands ached as you paced the cramped, dark room you were locked in. The troopers that had put you there hadn't bothered taking the restriction off since you didn't seem to be worth their time. You tried to wriggle your hands loose and almost succeeded a few times, but the cord frustratingly slipped through your fingers right as you thought you had a grip.

Suddenly, the rope seemed to loosen, and you froze to keep yourself from messing up. With a final tug, you managed to work the rope off your wrists and drop it to the ground.

As you rubbed your wrist, you stared at the door wondering what you were going to do now. Of course, escape was the only option you would consider, but there wasn't any kind of panel to open the cell from the inside. You put your ear up against the cool metal of the door, listening for anything that might give you a clue. All you heard was footsteps walking toward your cell.

You barely stepped back before the door slid open revealing two stormtroopers, dressed identically, standing together in the same stance. They walked in unison toward you with their blasters at the ready.

"Let's go," one of them commanded. He reached out to grab your arm, and a reckless, impulsive, spur of the moment idea hit you.

Quick as a whip, you ducked under his arm and kicked him behind his knee (which you were sure hurt you more than him). Nonetheless, he was shocked long enough for you to knock the blaster out of his hand. The gun clattered to the floor right as the first blast sounded just above your head.

You grabbed the weapon and swung it hard against the head of the first trooper. He crumpled to the floor leaving you vulnerable to the second trooper's gun. This was a terrible idea, you told yourself a little too late. Before the second could shoot, you plowed into him and knocked him back against the wall. He fell next to his comrade, unmoving.

"That was lucky," you whispered. You bent down to the unconscious troopers on the ground and removed the helmet from one of them. An urgent voice sounded through the com, demanding to know what had happened. You put the helmet on and spoke in a low voice, hoping the radio would muffle it enough to avoid suspicion.

"It's alright," you answered. "We've got her under control."

"I heard a blaster. What happened?" the voice questioned.

You stumbled on your words as they left your mouth without your consent."It was just a--uh--a warning shot. It--it's all okay. We'll have her back... soon." You cringed, biting your lip and silently scolding your tongue.

"I'm sending in Kral," the voice announced.

You spun around, and in a panicked state, dressed up in the rest of the uniform. You didn't have time to figure out how to tighten the armor, but it felt loose and awkward. You were quickly running out of "brilliant ideas".

Lastly, you needed the trooper's blaster, though you knew full well you didn't know how to fire one. You picked it up and looked it over, trying to make sense of it. As you examined it,  you heard shots fired from down the hall. Listening carefully to the sounds that were mixed with the shooting you determined something or someone had gotten loose besides yourself.

"Luke, we're gonna have company!" a man yelled. Now you knew that they weren't supposed to be here either. The shooting stopped, and assuming they had taken care of everyone, you stepped into the open. A stormtrooper stood at a control panel, scanning a list of every cell number and its occupant. One sideways glance at you and he raised his blaster to fire.

"Don't shoot!" you shouted, hoping this was the Luke character you'd heard the other man yelling to. You slipped the helmet off your head and raised your hands. "Don't shoot," you repeated.

The armor-clad man jogged up to you. "Are you Leia?" he asked, confusedly.

The question took you off guard, and you slowly shook your head in response.

He sighed, nodding as though he expected as much. "Do you know where cell block two-one-eight-seven is?" he asked, fidgeting now.

"I'm sorry, but no." You wished you could be more of a help. Defying the empire was what you liked best, which was how you'd landed yourself on the space station to begin with. "I'll help you look for it if you want."

"Sure thing. I'm sure Han will be okay with it," Luke agreed, and went quickly to the next cell.

You had only looked at a handful of doors before Luke found the one he was after. With the task done, you knew you should get going, but with a glance into the cell, your curiosity won you over.

A woman was asleep on the metal bed, and you guessed she was Leia. She woke with no urgency and propped herself up with her forearm. She had a white dress that fell to her ankles, and her dark, brown hair was tied up on either side of her head.

"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" she quipped.

"Huh?" Luke started. "Oh the uniform!" He whipped off his helmet, revealing shoulder-length, blond hair. "I'm Luke Skywalker! I'm here to rescue you!"

Leia became much more interested now. "You're who?" she questioned as she sat up.

"I'm here to rescue you. I've got your R2 unit. I'm here with Ben Kenobi," he explained rapidly.

You had no idea what was going on, but Leia stood quickly. "Ben Kenobi? Where is he?"

"Come on!" He turned around to you, and his blue eyes locked with yours. "I didn't get your name."

"Y/N," you answered. "Who's Ben Kenobi?" You were interrupted by a loud growl from down the hall.

"Get behind me! Get behind me!" The man who had warned Luke earlier seemed to be occupied.

"We gotta go." Luke responded, and grabbed your hand. You ran outside with Leia just behind, but when you heard blasters firing, you wondered if it wasn't safer in the cell.

The blasters stopped, and you were startled to see a Wookiee thundering toward you. You just avoided the creature as a dark-haired man (Han, you presumed) wearing the same stormtrooper uniform followed the Wookiee in like manner.

Blasters had been firing left and right and none of you had worn a helmet. Intelligent team we've got here, you remarked silently.

"Can't get out that way," he explained once he had caught up to his comrades. He turned to you. "Who's this?"

"Looks like you've managed to cut off our only escape route." Leia retorted, ignoring his question.

Han turned to her not missing a beat. "Maybe you'd like to go back to your cell, Your Highness."

The words were met by a blast from the stormtroopers that were now blocking the exit. The shots were barely missing as you all ran for what little cover there was.

You glanced at Leia, wondering why she was important enough to warrant a rescue party. Was she a queen? It would explain why she was imprisoned here. Even if she wasn't, you knew she needed protection as much as any of you.

You grabbed her arm and she spun around. "Come with me!" you commanded over the commotion.

Together, you ran to the cell you'd been kept in. When you entered the cell you were relieved to see the trooper you'd knocked out earlier was still unconscious.

"Is this a way out?" she questioned. You bent down and removed the armor from him.

"No," you answered. "It's a way to survive."

"I don't see how this will help," she reasoned, once she was fully armor-clad. "We're outnumbered and at least two of us are inexperienced." She said this nodding in Luke and Han's direction.

As much as you couldn't argue, you took comfort that the armor would help keep her alive at least a little longer.

You heard the Wookiee howl from outside and fear washed over you. Leia ran back out only to be met with more blaster shots. She ducked behind Luke while you ran behind the Wookiee.

"I can't hold 'em off forever! Now what?" Han demanded, frustrated.

"This is some rescue!" Leia complained over the noise. "You came in here, and do you have a plan for getting out?"

"He's the brains, sweetheart!" Han yelled back.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Leia reaching over Luke and stealing his blaster. You had forgotten that you had one at all, and Leia hadn't got the one from the unconscious stormtrooper. She aimed the blaster in Han's direction. She's going to shoot him!  You had no time to think before she fired. The laser hit next to his leg and opened up a space in the wall. The noise made your ears ring, as Han threw some protest at Leia.

"Into the garbage shoot, Flyboy!" you barely heard her say. She tossed the blaster back to Luke then slid down the hole she had just made. The Wookiee behind you pushed you forward and down the chute before you had time to object.

You landed on a pile of garbage that broke your fall. The loose armor on your body shifted uncomfortably. The softness of the garbage underneath you was the first thing you noticed, and you were very grateful for it. The second was the putrid smell that swamped you and made you gag. You were not as grateful for that part.

"Get out of the way!" Leia called to you. You got up clumsily and stumbled over to where she was standing. Right after, the Wookiee landed right where you had been. He stood, growling, headed for a single door in the wall, and banged on it. You looked up the chute expecting Luke and his friend to fall down soon.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and you jumped and spun around. "You said your name was Y/N, right?" Leia asked you as she took off her helmet.

You nodded and removed yours.

"I'm Leia Organa of Alderaan. You don't have to worry. We're going to be alright."

You hadn't realized you'd been shaking. You weren't scared, but even if you were, would that really have been a comfort? You had been imprisoned, escaped with armed soldiers shooting at you, and tossed head-first into a garbage pit with seemingly now way out.

"If those two can figure out left from right, I might just believe that," you replied, trying to prove you were fine as could be after falling into a swamp of diluted garbage.

Luke fell across from you and rolled down the junk hill into what you could only hope was water.

Han followed soon after. He barely finished landing before he started mouthing off again. "The garbage shoot! Really wonderful idea," he remarked sarcastically. "What an incredible smell you've discovered!"

Leia didn't respond, but shot him a well-deserved glare.

Han turned to the Wookiee, who was still banging on the door. "Chewie, would you stop that?"

"Chewie" growled in reply and continued his racket.

"Get out of here. Get away from there!" Han ordered as he raised his gun.

As Han fired the blaster, Luke yelled, "No, wait!"

The laser jumped back and forth against the walls, ceiling, and back again. Everyone tumbled to a crouched position as the laser continued. Finally with a final loud blast, the laser hit a piece of garbage and stopped.

"Would you forget it? I already tried it! It's magnetically sealed!" Luke screamed.

"Put that thing away! You're going to get us all killed!" Leia added, more furious than Luke.

You stood slowly and watched the heated conversation in front of you.

"Absolutely, Your Worship," Han snapped. "Look! I had Everything under control 'til you led us down here!" He looked around at the walls. "Y'know it's not going to take 'em long to figure out what's happened to us."

"Could be worse," Leia pointed out.

A low rattling, growl answered her. You looked over at Chewie, but it obviously hadn't come from him. "It's worse." Han declared.

"There's something alive down here." Luke said.

Han waved him off. "That's just your imagination," he reasoned.

You hoped Han was right.

Luke jumped. "Something just moved past my leg," he announced. The growling continued. "Look! Did you see that?" Luke pointed at the murky water. You couldn't see what he pointed at, but Leia looked especially worried now. She started back up the pile of garbage.

"What?" Han yelled. Chewie whimpered and started banging on the door yet again. You all fell quiet. Something was moving through the water. It circled around you, and you inhaled sharply, getting the other's attention.

"Y/N." Luke whispered to you. "Don't move."

You bit your lip, fighting every urge to pull away from the creature. Suddenly, it tightened around your leg causing you to scream and jump away. You landed next to Han who jerked you out of the water. Your attacker screeched in frustration. You looked down at your foot which was now bare. All it had gotten was your boot. Han looked down at your foot.

"Lucky you don't know how to wear armor," he almost laughed. "If you did--"

He was cut short when Luke yelled and disappeared under the water. "Kid!" He yelled and jumped to the spot where Luke had been. Han repeated his name with no answer as he searched the water desperately.

You ran to the water and started sifting your hands through it. A few times, you thought you'd found him but came up with a handful soggy trash. Your heart raced faster every second he was underwater. Running your hand through the water was almost as hopeless as calling him, but you didn't stop.

Behind you you heard something jump out of the water.

"Luke!" Leia yelled. You and Han sloshed over to where Luke was wrestling with the creature that had almost drowned him. It had a slimy tentacle wrapped around his neck and another seemed to be pulling him down.

"Blast it will you? My gun's jammed!" Luke choked.

"Where?" Han asked.

"Anywhere!"

Han fired two blasts into the water then tried helping Luke up. The creature still hadn't let go and you had to help get Luke to safety. Han kept shooting, hoping the lasers were hitting something.

Just as you thought you'd won the fight for Luke, a final tentacled tug dragged him back under. The silence that followed pressed on you. The only thing that disturbed the water now was Han backing away from where Luke had sunk. Helplessness overcame you as you stood frozen in the polluted water.

"Get out of the water." Han told you.

You didn't move. You knew you should listen to him, but your eyes were trained on the spot where Luke disappeared.

"Get out of there!"

You weren't aware of the tentacle wrapped around your waist until you were dragged under the water.

You'd barely gotten a breath in before the foul liquid rushed into your mouth. Panic set air free of your lungs and your chest soon began to hurt. Your eyes stung and you hit debris in the water as you were dragged down. You struggled to break free, but you couldn't land a blow hard enough. You fell limp as you descended. Your lungs screamed, begging for air. You felt the monster release your waist and grab your arm. You didn't have the strength to fight back. Even if Han could kill it, you wouldn't have any air left to make it to the surface.

It jerked your arm again and again. What was it doing? You were aware that you were no longer sinking. The grip on your arm was human. You were slowly rising back up. You tried to kick to help whoever was pulling you, but you could only concentrate on the tight pain in your chest. With one last pull, you broke surface unable to breathe and coughed up water.

"What happened?" You barely heard Leia through your fit of coughing. Luke was being hauled up to safety by Han, choking as much as you were.

"I don't know!" He got out. "It just let go of me and disappeared!" Once Luke was out of the water, Han turned to help you.

A loud crash made you jump.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Han stated. With Han's help you made it over to where Luke was standing. Luke was still sniffing and coughing. He'd been down there longer than you had. How did he make it?

"Are you going to be alright?" you asked him.

"I think so," He looked at the door where Chewie was standing. "I'll be better if we can get out of here."

You heard the metal walls around you groan. The sound of something powering on provoked the walls to close in on you.

"The walls are moving!" Luke cried.

"Don't just stand there! Try and brace it with something!" Leia commanded. You all started looking around the piles of garbage to find something strong enough. Chewie pushed against the wall. "Help me!" Leia called. Han picked up a long pole she was trying to lift herself, and put it end to end against the walls.

"Wait," Luke said to himself. He pulled a small device from his belt and started yelling into it. "Threepio! Come in Threepio!" You had no idea who Threepio was, or if he could help you, but having false hope in this situation seemed worse than being in it at all.

"Threepio!" Luke repeated. "Where could he be?" As Luke tried to make contact with Threepio, Han was trying to hold the pole which was bending in his hands. He let go of it and ran to Leia.

"Get on top of it!" He instructed. You and Leia started climbing the piles of trash hoping it would buy you more time. "One thing's for sure. We're all going to be a lot thinner," Han commented. Leia slipped and fell back to the bottom of the pile. Han jumped over to help her. "Get on top of it!" He said again.

"I'm trying!" Leia cried.

The walls were close enough now for you to touch both of them at once. Drowning would have been better than being crushed. Luke was trapped between two stacks of garbage and couldn't seem to move. Leia and Han were trying to stay on top of all the trash, and Chewie was trying to push the wall back still. You stood next to Luke trying to dig him out. You lost your balance many times as the junk shifted beneath you.

"Are you there sir?" You heard the voice coming from Luke's hand. He responded immediately.

"Threepio?" he called into the small device.

"We've had some problems--" the voice answered back. Luke cut him off.

"Would you shut up and listen to me?" he yelled. "Shut down all the garbage smashers on the detention level, would ya? Do you copy? Shut down all the garbage smashers on the detention level!"

The garbage around you was pressing you into the wall as the wall pressed you back into the garbage. Long sharp metals were finding their way through the gaps in your armor. Then everything shut down. The still walls aroused hollers and cheers from everybody. Your heart was racing with excitement as you wrapped your arms around Luke's neck and hugged him tight. Luke told Threepio to open the door and you all kissed the disgusting room goodbye.

You were in a yet another small hallway looking out over a landing pad swarmed with troopers. Han came up behind you.

"There she is," he announced. "The fastest ship in the galaxy."

You scanned the area hoping above all hopes that he wasn't talking about the lousy piece of junk sitting in the middle of the bay.

"You came in that?" Leia started. "You're braver than I thought."

Han mimicked a smile. "Nice." He answered, upset at the insult. "Come on."

You followed him, assuming he knew the way. You felt more confident after Luke had showed you how to adjust the armor and fire your blaster. You thought you might make it out alive when you turned the corner to find a large group of stormtroopers walking toward you. Both parties stopped immediately.

"Where are you going?" A trooper in the front questioned. For a second you forgot you were still in the stormtrooper armor. Han looked at you, and you could imagine he was trying to conjure up an excuse. His gaze snapped to your foot which was still bare from the garbage monster's attack.

"We need to get her a new boot. She lost her other one to the trash compacter," He explained. It wasn't a lie, but Han wasn't very good at selling the truth.

The trooper walked closer. "What were you doing around the trash compacter?"

You spoke up before Han ruined your chance to get past. "We were trying to get to the princess and her comrades." You told him. "They were gone before we got there."

"What's your identification number?" You were about to answer with another lie, but Han raised his blaster and shot one of the troopers. The rest of the soldiers, somehow frightened by a man and his Wookiee, retreated down the hall. As Han and Chewie gave chase,  he instructed you to get back to the ship.

"Where are you going? Come back!" Luke called after him.

"He certainly has courage." Leia remarked.

"What good'll it do us if he gets himself killed?" Luke responded still staring down the hall. He nodded in the opposite direction. "Come on." He grabbed your hand and led you and Leia from where Han had disappeared. Gunfire sounded behind you as another squad of troopers fell in pursuit. Luke ran faster, and just barely caught himself from falling off the edge of a missing bridge. You barely pulled him back with Leia's help.

"I think we took a wrong turn," he said. Leia turned around to a panel on the wall and closed the door. She turned to Luke.

"There's no lock!" She exclaimed. Luke shifted over to where Leia was standing on the small ledge and blasted the panel.

"That'll hold them for a while," Luke said hopefully.

"Quick, we've got to find a way across! Find the controls to extend the bridge!" Leia commanded. Your eyes fell to the fried wires that dangled by Luke's side.

"I think I just blasted it," he looked almost embarrassed when he answered.

"They're coming through!" Leia looked around desperately, but you noticed Luke studying the ceiling.

"Y/N, Leia, look on your belts. See if there's, oh, I don't know, like a rope or something!" Luke instructed. Before you could check anything, four stormtroopers fired their guns from another doorway not far off from the one you were trying to get to. Thankfully they had missed every shot (as, you realized, they often did). More desperate than ever to get out, you reached around your belt for rope. You pulled up a gnarled hook which was connected to a stream of thin wire. You nudged Luke.

"Will this do?" You showed him what you had found, and his eye's lit up.

"Leia! See the columns hanging from the ceiling? Latch your grappling hook to one of them and swing across!" Luke yelled. "You too, Y/N. Go!" You swung the hook to the columns Luke had referred to earlier. By the time it had caught Luke was ready to swing across, but Leia was having trouble.

"It's jammed!" She cried. Luke quickly wrapped his arm around her and poised to jump when Leia kissed him on the cheek. "For luck!" She explained simply. With that, the three of you jumped from the ledge.

***

You sat on the floor of the Millennium Falcon now as you recalled your feet dangling over the long drop that you could have faced. You remembered how your arm hurt from having to keep you from that drop. You rested your head on Luke's shoulder, happy that he was sitting with you rather than swinging across a chasm with you.

"And then I got us out of there in this beauty," Han boasted as he gestured to the ship around you. Leia bent forward in her chair.

"Only because Ben Kenobi was willing to risk his life for us," she reminded the cocky pilot. You knew Luke didn't like talking about it even though you were all very grateful to old jedi.

"Or maybe," you said. "It was that good-luck-kiss you gave Luke." You watched Luke blush next to you.

Leia smiled. "If I had known you were in love with Luke then, I would have let you give it to him."

But you hadn't loved him then, and even when you did, you hadn't admitted it to yourself right away. It was something that just snuck up on you one day and wouldn't leave, no matter how much you had tried to shove it under the rug. You were glad you had eventually given up trying.

"Well we're going to need more than a kiss to keep us alive from what we're getting ourselves into," Han said.

"Right," Leia confirmed. "We're going to need teamwork. I don't mean splitting up and hoping both teams stays alive long enough to meet on the other side. I mean really working together."

You all nodded in agreement. Leia, having been satisfied with the response, stood up and left the room. Han and Chewbacca walked off not long after. Luke stood then helped you up as well.

"Leia's right you know. We're a team, you and me. We have been since the day we met, and we've got to stay with each other," he said.

You shrugged. "I don't know," you smirked. "I think a good-luck-kiss could still be in order." He pulled you closer to him.

"Oh, really?" He asked smiling.

"You have to promise not to die," you demanded.

He laughed. "I thought that's why you were giving it to me."

"You still have to promise," you insisted.

"Because I love you, Y/N, I promise I will not leave you," he promised. "Not today, not tomorrow, not until we're both very old and content."

Satisfied with the answer, you kissed him softly.

"I'll stay with you," you assured him. "Because Leia is right. It's teamwork that will keep you safe when you decide to jump across chasms while people are shooting at you."

"Luckily we won't be doing that anymore, so I think I'll settle for kisses," He answered, grinning. He grabbed your hand. "Come on... Let's go join the rest of our team."

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: The Star Wars Holiday Special

Hi, Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where Today We Are Doing The Last Review Of This Year's Yultide Reviews...

All Right, Let's Get This Over With...The Star Wars Holiday Special...

Released 1 Year After The Success Of A New Hope, This Special Sees Wookie Chewbacca, Racing Home To Kashyyk On Board The Millennium Falcon With Han Solo So He Can Celebrate The Wookie Holiday, Life Day With His Family...

So, What Are We Waiting For Let's Dive Into The Star Wars Holiday Special...

The Special Starts On-Board The Millenium Falcon, As Han Solo (Played By Harrison Ford) Attempts To Get Chewbacca Home To Kashyyk For The Annual Wookie Holiday Known As Life Day But Unfortunately They're Been Chased By 2 Imperial Star Destroyers, Which Except For The Stuff In The Cockpit Of The Falcon With Ford And Chewbacca, Is Just Stock Footage From A New Hope...

Going To Hyperspace, We Get The Star Wars Theme And Our Credits Before We're Transported To Chewbacca's Home On Kashyyk Where We Meet Chewbacca's Wife, Malla, His Father, Itchy And His Son, Lumpy And From There It's Downward Spiral Down The Crapper As From Then Forward We Get Nothing But Wookie Talk With

No Subtitles!...

Now, While It Bothers Some People, It Doesn't Bother Me As Much Because My Family Likes Chewbacca, He's My Mom's Favorite Character And While He's Not Mine, I Don't Mind Him As Much So The Wookie Roars In This Special Isn't As Annoying To Me And My Family As It Is For Everyone Else...

Now I Know What Your Starting To Think That This Is Going To Be A Repeat Of My Haunted Mansion Review Where Thought That While Some Things Were Bad In The Film It Wasn't A Completely Horrible Movie Like Most Haunted Mansion Fanatics Would Make People Believe Well, Believe Me When I Say That It's Not Going To Be Like That It's Just That That Particular Thing Doesn't Bother Me As Much As Everyone Else...

But What Does Bother Me However, Is That Through These Characters We Get Very Little Of A Narrative Or A Story Out Of Them And Instead We Have To Revolve Around The Side Characters (Like The Guy Art Carney Plays, Luke, R2, Leia, 3PO, Han And Vader) To Tell The Story For Us When Really It's Supposed To Be About Chewbacca And His Family And Nothing And Nobody Else...

Anyway As We Watch Chewbacca's Family, We See That They're Like Most Families Back Then With Grandpa Itchy Making Models, Son Lumpy Playing With His Toys And Mom Malla Working In The Kitchen To Make Dinner For Life Day...

But When Malla Asks Lumpy To Take Out The Trash, He Goes For A Wookie Cookie (I Guess) But (Like All Moms Back Then) Malla Tells Lumpy To Put It Back Or Else He'll Ruin His Dinner Only For Lumpy To Take It Anyway...

Taking Out The Trash After Swiping The Wookie Cookie, Lumpy Decides To Do A Balancing Act Before Our Very Eyes Before Cutting Back To The Inside Of The House...

It's Like Why Did We Stick On That For A Few Minutes?...

Looking At A Picture Of Chewbacca It's Obvious That Malla Misses Her Husband, But With Itchy Knowing That His Son Will Be Here Soon, He Asks Malla To Return To The Kitchen To Work On Dinner...

Attempting To Keep Lumpy Distracted, Itchy Gives Lumpy A Holodisk To Watch On The Space Chess Board (I Say That As It Looks Like The Chess Board That's On-Board The Millennium Falcon) Which Shows...I Don't Know What...It Looks Like A Mix Of Dancing And Gymnastics...

Asking For Lumpy To Watch Dishes After Watching That, Still Worried About Chewbacca, Malla Checks For Spaceships In The Area Only For Her To Find None, This Leads Her To Contact Luke Skywalker And R2-D2 Who Are Working On A Part For Luke's X-Wing...

Asking Luke About Chewbacca, He Tells Malla That Him And Han Left On Schedule And If They're Not There Now Then They're Way Overdue And May Be In Trouble. But Luke Tells Them Not To Worry As It Just May Be Taking Them A Little Bit Longer To Get There As R2 Causes The Part To Burst With Heat Enough To Damage Luke's Face Which Forced Him To Get Plastic Surgery So He Would Look Like This In The Sequel...

Hey, It's A Better Story Than What They Came Up With For Empire...

But Still Worried About Chewbacca, Malla Calls The Owner Of The Trading Post On Kashyyk, Saun Dann Played By Art Carney Who Is Busy Dealing With An Imperial Officer In His Store But Tells Her In His Own Way That Chewie Is 4 Planets Away With Han And It's Going To Take A Few For Them To Get There...

Meanwhile On Board A Star Destroyer, We See Darth Vader Talking With An Officer, Saying That He Wants Those Rebels Found Even If They Have To Search Every House In The System...

Back At The Chewbacca Household, Malla Continues Working On Dinner With The Help Of A Gourmet Cooking Show Hosted By A 4 Armed Cook, Played By Harvey Korman Which Is Just One Of The Annoying Skits That I Don't Like In This Special...

Meanwhile In Outer Space, Han And Chewie Are Now Dealing With Tie Fighters After Losing The 2 Star Destroyers (Including The One That Vader Was On)

But Back On Kashyyk, An Imperial Announcement Appears Telling Everyone That The Empire Has Declared Martial Law On The Planet, With A Blockade Guarding It And That Until Further Notice, No Ships Are Allowed To Land Or Take Off Until Further Notice...

Hearing A Knock On The Door, Malla And Her Family Worry That It Maybe Stormtroopers But Instead It's Saun Dann, With A Proton Pack For The Mine Evaporator (Or For Ghostbusting, Whichever) Noticing Their Sad Faces Because Of The Announcement, Saun Tells Chewie's Family Not To Worry For If He Got Through Imperial Stormtroopers Than Chewie Might Be Able To Too...

Giving Chewie's Family Life Day Gifts, Malla Gets A Machine We'll See Later, Lumpy, A Transmitter That Will Give Us Nothing But Boredom Later And Itchy, A...Well, It's Supposed To Be A Virtual Reality Machine But Really It's Nothing But A Big Fat Porn Box!

And It's In This Porn Box, We Meet Diahann Carroll Who Sings A Song In This World Of Virtual Reality...

But After That Mind Sticking Scene, Princess Leia And C-3PO Call Malla To Talk With Han And Chewie But Malla (Through 3PO's Translation) Tells Them That They're Not There...

Asking If Malla Is Alone, Malls Tells Them That She Is Not And Brings Saun Dann To The Viewing Screen To Talk With Leia Who Asks Saun To Stay With Them Until Chewie Gets There To Which He Agrees...

Back In Outer Space, Han And Chewie Arrive On Kashyyk, Only To Notice Imperial Ships Around Which Forces Han To Land On The Far Side Of Kashyyk...

Hearing What Sounds Like The Millenium Falcon, Lumpy Opens The Door To Discover, Stormtroopers!...

And A Few Imperial Troops Who Are Looking For Han And Chewie And Search The Premises...

Coming Across The Device, Saun Got Malla For Life Day, Saun Turns It On For One Of The Imperial Troops To See Only To Discover...Jefferson Starship!...

After That Pointless Scene, Saun Dann Is Forced To Leave By The Imperial Troops As He Has No Purpose To Be There. With The Troops Searching Upstairs, Lumpy Watches A Cartoon While They Do...

This Cartoon Actually Is The First Appearance Of The Bounty Hunter Boba Fett...

Done Searching Upstairs, Lumpy Goes Upstairs To Find Not Just His Room But All Of His Toys Destroyed So, He Decides To Get Rid Of The Imperial Troops By Using His New Transmitter But Unfortunately He Has To Put It Together So We Unfortunately Have To Sit Through An Instructional Video On How To Put It Together With A Malfunctioning Emorphient Being (Played Again By Harvey Korman) Giving The Instructions...

And How Do I Feel About This Scene? Well, I Think The Nostalgia Critic Said My Opinion Exactly...

(Start At 15:16, End At 15:48)

If By Any Chance You Get Your Brain Unzombified After Watching That Skit, We Get Another Skit Showing Us Life On Tatooine, Which Sends Us To The Cantina Where We Meet The Owner, Ackmina (Played By Bea Arthur) Who Is Approached By An Alien Named Krelman (Played By Guess Who, Harvey Korman) Who Has A Crush On Her Over Something That She Said To Him That He Misunderstood...

But When An Imperial Announcement Stating That Until Further Notice There Is To Be A Nightly Curfew On Tatooine, Ackmina Has No Choice To Close The Bar But Not Before Offering One Last Round To Her Patrons, Which Leads Into A Song...

(End At 4:46)

Now What Do I Think About This Skit? I Think It's One Of The Best (And Only) Good Skit In This Special And If There Was A Reason To See This Abomination Of A Special, It Would Be For This Skit...

But Moving On, Lumpy Activates His Transmitter To Lead The Imperial Troops Away But He Is Caught By One Of The Stormtroopers Who Stays Behind Because Of Orders From One Of The Imperial Soliders And Destroys The Transmitter. Chasing Lumpy, The Stormtrooper Is Confronted By Chewbacca And Han Who Disarms The Stormtrooper Of His Weapon So Han Can Make The Trooper Fall Off Of The House Apparently...

With Everything All Right Again, Han Can't Stay As He's Got To Get Back To The Falcon Before Someone Stumbles Across It...

(Harrison Ford) Okay, I Gotta Go Somebody's Waving A Check For Me Outside, Bye...

After Han Leaves, Saun Dann Returns Again To Tell Chewbacca And His Family Not To Worry About Imperial Soliders As They Left, However Another Announcement Comes Over The Tv Stating That The Empire Is Looking For The Stormtrooper Who The Imperial Soliders Left Behind But It's Quickly Taken Care Of By Saun Dann Who Tells The Empire That After The Imperial Soliders Left The Trooper Behind He Stole Food From Chewie's Family And Robbed Saun Dann Blind Before Running Off...

Telling Them To Have A Good Life Day And...

Saun Dann Leaves, As We See Chewbacca And His Family Start Their Life Day Celebrations By Grabbing Balls Of Light Which Place Them In Red Choir Outfits Which Somehow Make Them And Other Wookies Walk Through Space Into A Bright Sun Or Something? I Don't Know What's Going On Here But Somehow They All End Up In Front Of A Big Tree Which Is Supposed To Be The Tree Of Life, I Guess...

But I Surely Don't Know What George Lucas Or Whoever Wrote This Was Smoking But That Defiantly Does Not Look Like The Tree Of Life At Disney's Animal Kingdom...

Reunited With His Friends, R2-D2, C-3PO, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker And Han Solo, Princess Leia Gives A Speech...

(Start At 1:03,End At 3:03)

After That We Get Some Footage From A New Hope, Including Scenes With Alec Guinesss (Who Thanks His Lucky Stars He Wasn't In This Special) And We See Chewie And His Family Sitting Down For Life Day Dinner As Our Special Ends...

And That's The Star Wars Holiday Special And Yeah, It's Horrible...

I'm Serious, Folks It's Bad And The People We Can Blame For That Are Definitely Harvey Korman And Diahann Carroll Otherwise I Didn't Mind The Stuff With The Original Cast, Art Carney Wasn't Bad, The Bea Arthur Skit Was One Of The Highlights (Despite Harvey Korman Being In It) And The Chewbacca's Family (Despite Not Understanding Them) Weren't Abysmal And Didn't Bother Me As Much As Everyone Else Because I'm Used To Wookie Sounds. If You Must Watch It, Watch It For The Bea Arthur Cantina Scene Otherwise This Is One To Skip...

Well, With Christmas Now Behind Us, It Means Back To Reviewing As Usual And What A Way To Come Back Then To Look At Something I've Been Dying To Talk About, Till Then, This Is Duke, Saying Have A Happy New Year And See You In January...

Coming In January...

The Marvel Cinematic Universe!

[permian-tropos]

Ok, my issue with TLJ is the cynical-ness of it. It's written in a way that pokes fun of SW. Like, "all of this is so silly, isn't it. Wink, wink." I don't like how it took the focus off Rey. Ahch-To was filmed from Luke's POV most of the time. I'm not saying TLJ is a bad movie bc it's not! I just felt like I'd been slapped in the face w the fanboy-ness (the ego-ness) of it all. I know you'll break my whole argument down, but maybe I need that.

Can’t help but feel like I’m some kind of TLJ s&m dominatrix now like “this movie made you feel bad and you should be grateful” lmao 

TL;DR: As I experienced it, the movie is actually super sappy and in love with the sincerity of Star Wars just like TFA but taking its own route to convey it. instead of TFA, it’s framed to first appeal to and then sway the minds of an imagined cynical audience, and that audience might actually be 12 year olds and if so, that’s as it should be.

A point about the cynical-ness – it’s interesting you’re talking about the poking fun at SW, since the other way people have called it cynical would be in its depiction of failures and loss. To that, I would argue that it only seems especially dark because the end of the story hasn’t come yet. Which… the movie actually addresses in its story, the “hope is like the sun” line is kind of nudging the audience like “hey the heroes are in a bad spot but they’ll win in the end, don’t forget that”. 

It would be patronizing but… this movie is meant to be seen by 12 year olds as well as adults so maybe it’s okay that it’s kinda blunt about some things? Star Wars actually draws in a much younger audience than I think other PG-13 level movies do. Hiding all the messages in subtext isn’t fair to them so I think people get tripped up with TLJ thinking that it’s not saying exactly what it seems to be saying, and just communicating that message on a myriad of levels.

Like as someone who has written so many metas about TLJ – a lot of my analysis boils down to “I don’t think the movie is hiding its message very much, it’s kind of all right there, but there’s also a lot of extra layers enhancing it”. 

When the movie goes, “this is so silly, isn’t it?” (and also it doesn’t do that nearly as much as I’ve seen in some franchises) I sort of imagine what a 12 year old, having grown up in this cynical age of deconstruction of sincerity, and also being right at that age where you might look at your younger childhood loves and think “so silly”, would take from it. I don’t see them being so hurt or offended. They aren’t nostalgic for the OT yet. Their nostalgia fodder is being formed as these movies are coming out. Actually I remember being 12 and being oversensitive to people bashing sincerity – because all my peers were 100% in love with cynicism and I was well uhhh neurodivergent and at a different stage of emotional development.

Older people have a very different relationship to their childhood, often longing for the simplicity of it, or cherishing the joys. But you have to have some distance to really see that. Many movies for a pre-teen or young teen audience are about reminding them not to be too cynical, while showing an understanding of their sense of cynicism. They’re about telling kids “hey I get it but don’t rush into adulthood too fast”.

The Last Jedi concludes on sincerity, really bluntly. Rose saving Finn is about rejecting the nihilism of “the only way to prove you care about a cause is to die for it” – this isn’t true, and it’s why Holdo’s sacrifice isn’t the same. Holdo is deliberately trying to save the fleet, but the First Order, when you think about it, has cornered the Resistance on Crait whether they blast open the doors right away or besiege them for days. Finn’s sacrifice would actually just delay the inevitable and that’s not worth dying for. And “saving what we love” is this deeply sincere message.

Poe getting to save the Resistance by noticing the vulptices are leading them towards the exit is super sincere, that’s so freaking corny, it’s unreal. Cute animal friends save the day. 

Rey and Finn’s reunion is CORN HEAVEN it’s literally every run-into-your-beloved’s-arms scene (actually my first association with it is how the movie Madagascar parodies that trope with the zebra and the lion whose names I am not going to bother to remember). Rey lifting all those rocks is sincere, Luke mocks her earlier for claiming the Force is about that but guess what? It is about that! And it looks awesome and it saves everyone’s lives. Leia telling Rey “we have everything we need” is optimistic. It’s saying they’re not going to wallow in their losses. They will keep moving forward, they will take strength from failure, not despair.

Luke starts off the film thinking heroism is meaningless. He ends the film doing exactly what he said would be absurd – walking out with a laser sword and facing down the First Order. He starts off filmed with this shroud of overcast shadow around him, and ends with his face illuminated by nostalgic callback to the twin suns of Tatooine. Yoda even encourages him to remember his youthful dreams and desire for adventure – stop being such a cynic, Young Skywalker, I know you’re still that boy who stares at the horizon. 

And of course, the entire last scene with the slave kids is painfully adoring of Star Wars and its importance to kids. It’s wretchedly corny. I’ve said it elsewhere but the slope of the floor, leading up to a field of stars, actually parallels the slope of the opening crawl. That’s how meta the cinematography went. It went there, it poked that fourth wall. The movie ends with a promise that any little child who loves Star Wars is as special as the saga’s heroes, and that’s actually the most sappy thing in the Whole Entire Saga. 

So the movie basically argues with a hypothetically cynical audience. And if it feels weird, like it’s assuming you’re cynical (which is insulting because no, you unironically adore Star Wars, thank u v much)… I suppose maybe give the movie a fair shake and remember its most important audience is 12 year olds, who have all their little quirks and emotional hangups. No matter what this movie means to you, it will never ever compare to the place it will hold in the hearts of its preteen audience. That’s how Star Wars is supposed to be.

I have no idea the consensus on this film from 12 year olds but I really hope they don’t get overwhelmed by 20-somethings pressuring them to hate it.

Side note on “Ahch-To was filmed from Luke’s POV” – I’m pretty sure it’s the opposite?? people ran into this before where they thought the movie was siding with Kylo and showing his POV when he’s never the POV. Do people just have it backwards? Please okay I feel weird breaking something so simple down but…. the character that is being stared at a lot by the camera is the Object. The character who you presume to be doing the staring is the Subject and POV. Rey is the subject and Luke is the object. Rey is the subject and Kylo is the object.

The fact that the two leading white men of the movie are almost always Object is, I think, actually a point of confusion, because that’s not how it ever is, but it’s how it is in TLJ. They’re not being favored over Rey, we’re seeing her perception of them, so she’s even closer to the audience than they are. Except for the Luke and Yoda scene, nearly everything from Ahch-To is from Rey’s perspective. She seems invisible because she’s actually omnipresent. It is highly unfamiliar to have a woman seem invisible for that reason, but this is a thing I’m super confident about. 

Rey is POV, as she should be of course, and actually she is more POV than in The Force Awakens because Finn gets that role a lot more and he gets that role when he’s with her. We’re probably actually used to Rey-as-Object despite thinking of her as the protagonist because she’s framed like that in TFA. I’m extremely pleased that Episode 9 will have Finn and Rey in an adventure together, but it wasn’t even that bad to have them apart for one movie because it let us get to know Rey on her own terms. 

I could honestly go through the whole sequel trilogy and break down who is POV in what scene and make some kind of infographic lmao would I actually be that extra TM??? who knows

[riancraigjohnson-blog]

Hi, I just saw your post about having legitimate complaints about TLJ... I haven't seen it yet, but was wondering what your complaints were (and whether it's worth me spending my money going to see it). I'm not bothered by spoilers.

good evening dear! to make things easy, i’m just gonna make one hugeass post and do a bullet list.

no consistency to story-telling

you wanna add new force powers? fine! great! but keep them consistent!

yoda appears to tell luke that the jedi are garbage & should end ( yoda???? of all people???? instead of someone who would actually think that given personal experience, like, y’know, ANAKIN )

also somehow yoda can call down lightning and cause real-world damage to a tree by setting it ablaze? why hasn’t yoda or obi-wan or anakin literally just come down and stop the order by doing something like this if they can literally control nature from the afterlife????

someone ( leia )…. with no proper force training…. can somehow defy…. dying in space? and also project themselves through space while barely conscious?

rian seems to want to keep this narrative of ‘evERYonE caN HAve ThE foRCe’ but when given the chance to make one of three kids force-sensitive, one kid being a black boy, one a white girl, and one a white boy, in a series where we have leading white female and black male protagonists and a white male villain………. somehow rian decided it was best to give the white boy the force? in a trilogy where the leAD CHARACTER IS A FEMALE AND ONE OF THE LEADING MALES IS A BLACK MAN?????????? GROUNDBREAKING

snoke connected rey and kyle via force skyping, but if his whole goal was to just……….. get rey to come to the supremacy after he manipulated her to believe in kyle’s redemption, like….. why do all that shit. why not just….. read her mind. clearly he can influence people and affect people from long distances so what the fuck why would he bother with that weird force bond shit. like if vader can fucking force choke a guy over a video conference, i don’t see why it’s that much more of a stretch to just have snoke read rey’s mind or manipulate her without using kyle

luke fucking astral projecting himself onto crait, despite not knowing they were on crait, after shutting himself off from the force like 10 years prior to tlj– somehow he’s able to hold a long-term projection of himself to taunt kyle and buy time for the fleeing resistance? and then, at the end, he just….. gives up and dies? becomes one with the force? ???????

lame foreshadowing/repetition

so, when kyle and rey’s first skype session goes live, kyle makes a point of asking rey if she was causing this, this almost astral projection skype convo from light years away, only to say ‘no….. the strain would kill you.’ cue the end of the movie, where it’s revealed luke was just projecting himself all along, and…. he dies.

there’s also this scene where luke asks rey what the force is, and being inexperienced in it, she makes a comment about it being about making things float. luke says no, everything you said is not-true– its not about making rocks float, ( which is then brought back as a concept at the very end of the movie, when rey has to float rocks to free the resistance from the caves they ran into, again, bad foreshadowing. ) this is then brought back later when astral luke is facing off with kyle, and kyle says something about destroying the resistance and the jedi…. only for luke to, verbatim, say what he said to rey about every word he said being not-true.

this almost bashing it into our heads notion of ‘kill the past, it’s only holding you back’ that’s mentioned by kyle, that seems to be the central thread– the past is just that, the past. it’s time to completely ignore it and never look back. it’s time to wipe away the misty-eyed wonders of your hero worship of your childhood… the reality is that people fuck up and your heroes are nothing and in the end we all die, jan. ( what a fun, hopeful message. )

but with this message, this idea of all your heroes are dead and don’t even think of people as heroes because that’s just unrealistic and you’ll be disappointed when they fuck up because we’re all human :))) – with that message we’re then meant to leave the theater somehow emboldened because luke took up the mantle of being a legend in the end…. even though there’s no reason he should be considered one when the only people who witness this astral fight technically are kyle and the first order– the resistance didn’t watch because they were trying to escape through the base’s tunnels with the time luke was buying them. so we’re supposed to treat luke as a legend now….. or are we supposed to hate this idea of hero worship? i’m getting mixed signals.

literally everything built up in tfa…. rey’s parents/backstory, snoke’s history/why the resistance even knows about him, why kyle became evil, why rey was able to call the lightsaber over him, why luke exiled himself but left a map………… so many questions to be answered! and tfa laid out a beautiful table for johnson to sit down at and serve dinner.

only johnson decided to say fuck you, fuck your dinner, fuck everything you thought about this movie because it doesn’t matter

rey’s parents? nobodies– drunkards. sold their daughter into literal slavery for drinking money.

snoke’s backstory? doesn’t fucking matter if we hyped him up as more dangerous than vader or palpatine– he’s dead now because he apparently couldn’t sense kyle about to kill him. the man can bond two people across light years of distance, but he doesn’t notice the lightsaber that’s slowly being turned towards him? hm.

why is rey so strong with the force? because it belongs to everyone and not the elite skywalkers who literally came from slavery so fuck you for that too

luke’s exile? because he felt bad about considering killing his nephew when he probed his mind and felt he was completely evil. luke skywalker considered killing his nephew, the son of his twin sister, son of his best friend– let that sink in.

kyle’s evil…. but he’s good, right? there’s good in him? or not. for someone who rian says we can all relate with ( sorry but i don’t relate with fascists :/ ) he made it pretty clear that he wanted kyle to be the end all be all villain by the end of 8. so ??????

also why is kyle so obsessed with vader? what the fuck? guess what? you don’t get to know. fuck you again.

character assassination / regression

luke was……… not luke. clearly. mark hamill has said it’s not luke. that’s more than a bit telling.

rey’s whole story literally revolved around following luke around ahch-to while learning jack shit only to then follow kyle around trying to say there’s still good in him. ( another fun fact rian……… luke only was willing to forgive vader when he realized that was his dad. why would rey feasibly trust her abuser / han’s murderer / man who put finn into a coma so quickly unless maybe they had a prior connection, particularly familial? )

finn was turned into a joke, called a coward, called selfish, tased by rose, slapped by hux……. like finn had literally no character progression at all.

poe went from well-decorated commander of the resistance, former officer with the new republic, to hot-headed flyboy who doesn’t take orders and just needs to learn from his white superiors :)))) like……………… do i even need to say it

leia was practically non-existent, and when she was, she slapped poe and later shot at him, stunning him. which, she…. y’know………. never did to han.

chewie and r2 were literally there as props, don’t even try and tell me otherwise. r2 showed luke leia’s hologram back from anh as a means to like…. spur him into action, but??? luke literally did nothing as well even after that?

lack of lando. can i include that? rian said he ‘wanted’ to include lando but he ‘wouldn’t work’ so i think rian just owes me money for having to even try to comprehend his bullshit

hux??? y’know, the fascist general with that terrifying speech before he decimated an entire star system? that hux? he’s just comic relief now. :)

he even has a ‘your mom’ joke thrown at him which is super funny when you remember he’s a bastard and never knew his birth mom so like #goodwriting

kyle is redeemable now!! even though he’s shown no remorse and has already been offered the chance to redeem himself but he took the opportunity to say ‘fuck you’ and kill han so…. ignore all that, ignore the fact that he’s a fascist leader and massacred children and countless others………….. his uncle tried to kill him so he must be in the right :)))

phasma…. you liked phasma? strong villain woman? yeah, well, watch the most unsatisfying fight that ends in finn winning purely by luck because she falls down into a firey pit. mmmmmm that sure was satisfying? :/

regular star wars rules need not apply?

bombs can just be dropped in space because gravity exists in the vacuum of the stars apparently

but a body on a blown-open bridge can remain on the bridge instead of getting sucked out into space….?

a slow-speed ship chase where one ship is running out of fuel? cinematic gold, apparently

for some reason the first order ships chasing the resistance couldn’t have just….. sped up their ships a bit and plowed them over / took them out with tie fighters for no other reason but….. it wouldn’t be convenient that way?

there’s a lot more than this but i’m tired and should have gone to bed hours ago, so i’ll probably just reblog this sometime tomorrow and add more, but here’s this for starters!

[justmickeyfornow]

Ok so... I'm not rich but I'm not poor either. I have a comfortable life. Always had food on my plate, etc. I'm gay and it's a "secret" (my family doesn't know) And today, I woke up depressed. Almost 2 years ago someone broke my heart when they dumped me and it made me go into a depression spiral that just got me crazy and made me want to kill myself. Every now and then I think of them, check their social media etc and this morning I woke up feeling alone and lonely. And I just don't know :(

Not sure if I’m the best person to give advice out there, but I guess I could give it a try :)

Here’s what mostly works for me. The magic fix to all of this is just to fill your time. It worked for me and maybe it’ll work for you too. Don’t let yourself have the privilege of too much free time. Because that's your biggest enemy. The more free time you have, the more you’ll be thinking and overthinking shit. You’re either studying or you have a job right? Well the rest of those hours in the day try to fill them. Work on a project. Go to the gym. Hang out with some people. Read a book. Read Fanfiction!! Learn chess. Learn how to code (this is what I’m trying to do lately. So far, it’s fun! You should try it).

Actually the gym thing might be one of the most things that was able to keep my mind off of all the scary stuff. It’s the reason I started going to begin with. I had a lot on my mind, I was going a bit crazy and I hated sitting there and thinking about it at home. So I went for a jog and it took my mind off of it a bit. Next thing I knew, I was signing for a gym membership and going everyday ever since. It’s a huge stress reliever. Even if you’re not the type to go, do it anyway. I even pushed myself so far that I got one of those expensive memberships (That I really really couldn’t afford) just so that I would guilt myself into going everyday. And so far, I haven’t thought about that incident that shall not be talked about (scary harry potter style voice) in a long while (crap, I just thought about it now.....).

Do something that you’re good at and that you love. You’re good at drawing? Go fucking draw your heart out! Writing? Write stories until the end of time. Dancing? Singing? Playing a musical instrument? Whatever it is, do it. And there’s no such thing as “I’m not really good at anything”. So I better not hear you saying that. There’s always something that you’re really good at. Not perfect. Just good. Because if you’re just good at something, then eventually you’ll want to make it better and better until you get as close to perfect as possible. I had a friend once that lived her whole life with the notion that she wasn’t good at anything. She’s 23 and last year me and her found out - accidentally - that she can do math in her head in lightning speed. I randomly asked her what’s 12x32 and she did it in her head in less than two minutes, no pen no paper. And she was just as surprised as I was. She apparently thought everybody could do that (God knows I can’t!). So find something you’re good at and fill your time with it. I always complain about writing for Paranoia Incarnated, but the truth is it takes my mind off of the billion things that I’d rather not think about.

Social media. There's absolutely nothing wrong with cutting off from social media. Sit down and really think about it: When you browse through a certain social media account/page/thingy (I don’t even know what’s it called? I’m not really good at that stuff), what do you normally feel? Is it depression? Numbness? Endless scrolling of nothing? Jealousy? Then just delete it. It's so easy to delete an account its crazy that not more people do it. If you feel happy. You read things that make you smile. You rant about characters you like. Squeal at drawings someone drew. Smile at a cat picture. Then keep it.

As for being tempted to check up on that person that hurt you. Now, I personally believe in the opposite of Exposure therapy (concealment therapy?). If something bothers me or tends to stir up negative feelings in me, then I just make it disappear as best as I can. If it's a real person, I avoid them. If it's someone online then I block them. If it's someone I'm following, then I just unfollow them. If it's a situation, then I make sure I’m never put in a similar situation again. Yes, I know, not really a healthy thing to do. But, again, I’m a crazy person and healthy is not really something I’m very good at. So, if you really wanna go down my slippery slope, then just either unfollow or block the URL that takes you to her page. It’ll give you some peace of mind. Whenever you’re tempted to check up on her, then just get up and do something else. Open up Paranoia Incarnated and read the fluffy happy moments! There’s an idea! (Suggestions from PI? The pancakes for dinner conversation. Two penguins getting married at the zoo. Kara taking a nap for the first time in Lena’s office which is also the first time she tells Lena she’s beautiful. Leia’s chapter! The famous scotch cookies (I love this chapter!) and last but definitely not least because I was laughing my ass off while writing it: Lena trying to tap her head and rub her stomach and failing miserably!)

Now, let’s talk music. Choose one song that calms you down. Think of one song or one singer that every time you hear, you feel your mind drift from what you were doing just to properly listen to that song. Choose one singer whose voice can literally stop you from having a panic attack. Now, convince yourself that once you hear that song/singer that you'll be alright. I swear to God it works. If it didn't work for me I wouldn't recommend it. But it works for me.

Eden is that singer for me. I have a few songs for him that if I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack or any sort of scary nervous breakdown, I can put on my headphones and just play one of his songs and it’s like I could breathe again. If you’re interested in Eden, let me know and I’ll recommend which songs you should listen to first.

(Also, here’s a link to the Paranoia Incarnated Spotify playlist. There’re some songs on there that might help too.)

Speaking of music, your ask actually reminded me of this song that I adore. Put some headphones, close your eyes and listen to it. I have a feeling it might help ya out!

As for suicide. The only reason you're thinking about it is because you're keeping it as an option. I'm a practical person. I like to keep things practical. And simply not having suicide as an option can change your whole mindset.

Think of it like a bridge with water underneath it that you have to cross. This bridge is long and old and rusty and just slowly falling apart. But you have to get across no matter what. The water underneath is calm so it’s possible to swim there but it would still be hard. Both options are difficult but still both are possible. The third option is simple. Easy. You could just fly to the other side. Except you can’t. Because it’s impossible. It’s not an option. So you don’t think about it when you’re faced with the situation of crossing the bridge. Therefore you’re left with the other two options: cross the bridge on foot, even though you might fall down and get hurt. Or swim there, even though it would be extremely tiring and exhausting and time consuming and just plain difficult. But in the end you don’t have the option of flying.

Same goes with suicide. Don’t keep it as an option in your life, and you won’t think of it. Pretend that it’s impossible to suicide. Pretend that it just doesn’t exist. You do that, and I guarantee you won’t think about it as much.

There's no such thing as a permanent problem. Keep that in mind. Whatever you're feelings are towards this girl now, chances are they're gonna change in a couple of years.

I know you don't wanna hear this, but the truth is you're probably gonna go through so much worse to a point that this problem would seem like a walk in the park. And if you've really grown, you wouldn't think of suicide then either. Because you'd realize that you got over that first problem that once upon a time seemed like the worst thing you could go through. You actually got over it. You survived it. And you'll smile and think that you'll get over this too.

There’s also nothing wrong with feeling lonely. I wish I had a fix for you, but I still haven’t figured that one out yet. I tend to just ignore it (I’m starting to realize I live life by simply ignoring many many things. Maybe not the healthiest thing in the world....) As soon as I feel myself drowning in that feeling I simply get up. Do something. Anything. Go do the dishes. Hell, I sometimes get down and do 20 pushups to get my mind off of it (That usually works, seeing that once I reach 12 pushups I’m practically dead). Actually the pushups thing also acts as a sort of response treatment. Your mind will slowly realize that everytime it feels negative feelings you start torturing it with pushups and it stops pushing negative feelings towards you. Does that make any sense? I feel like that might not be the healthiest option. Maybe consult an expert? I dunno. I sometimes do it and it helps me, but I’m just a crazy person so I what do I know.

Other random things that I’ve done that were extremely helpful in changing my mindset:

1. Drink fruit water! Yup! I know it sounds ridiculous, but it kinda works. Grab one of those big water bottles that you take with you to the gym. Cut up a lemon (I prefer half a lemon), an orange, a cucumber, and some mint. Stuff them in there and fill it with water. It actually tastes pretty good. And it washes away the toxins in your body.

2. Dark chocolate! Not only is it healthy, but it releases dopamine (the little beautiful trigger in your brain that makes you happy) and increases your serotonin levels (the little beautiful trigger in your brain that makes you calm).

3. DRINK TEA!! I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH HAPPIER IT MAKES YOU. IT’S PERFECT. IT’S GORGEOUS. IT’S TASTY. IT’S JUST..... *SIGH*

4. Buy a bulletin board. Put it up in your room and go crazy with it. Pin up your goals. Projects. Your resolutions. Whatever it is. Make sure it’s on that board so you could see it every single day.

5. Smile a lot.

I dunno if any of this is helpful. But most of this stuff worked for me so I’m hoping it’ll work for you. Just read a lot of fanfiction, spice up your life with some smutty ones too and you’ll soon forget about that girl.

[liminalpebble]

Eddies Education: Chapter 24

CW: This chapter contains horror-typical violence and death, also mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion and minors DNI.

Masterlist link

Chapter 24

In the a back corner of the community hall, the group rolled out a map of Hawkins and fenced it in with their plated-up Thanksgiving dinners. Between bites of turkey and green bean casserole they discussed which areas might be Vecna's nest in upside-down Hawkins; circling the locations of every known pond, swimming pool, or cistern in red pen. Though they worked off of Leia's hypothesis about water, Leia herself had to be exiled to a smaller lounge with headphones on.

She understood, of course, that it would be much too risky for her to help them plan and to know their next steps if Vecna could reach into her mind so easily, but she hated feeling stuck and anxious. She sprawled across the little musty-smelling couch between the pinball machines, legs and head draped over the armrests. She nodded along with David Byrne's quirky fragile voice as he sang This Must Be the Place, and tapped her heels against the side of love seat. She shut her eyes tightly, and held her arms, trying to calm herself as he crooned:

...I'm just an animal looking for a home. Share the same space for a minute or two. And you love me till my heart stops. Love me 'til I'm dead. Eyes that light up, eyes look through you. Cover up the blank spots. Hit me on the head...

Leia felt a little stroke over her cascade of hair where it hung off the sofa, and a kiss on her forehead. “Hey Rapunzel, you hungry? Scoot over.”

Eddie set out two TV trays and set two heavily loaded plates on each one. “Thank you, scoundrel,” she said kissing him on the cheek. “How's it going in there?”

“Hrmm...I uh...I guess I can't really tell you.”

“Right...sorry...I keep forgetting. This is all so weird,” she said, spearing a piece of casserole.

“Hey,” Eddie soothed, putting his free arm around her, “It'll be okay.”

“I hope so. But we just don't know that, do we?”

“Never tell me the odds, Princess. I have to hope and try, no matter how much I fail, and let me tell you. I've failed a lot in my life. I failed senior year three times, for fuck sake.”

She chuckled at that, almost spitting out a gulp of wine. He continued, “But, it all turned out okay. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have met you...the best thing that ever happened to me. So...” he said, lifting his own little plastic wine glass to make a toast, “here's to our love. 'May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out', fair lady.”

She grabbed his face and kissed him. “I love you, you sweet precious sentimental dork.”

He laughed. “What? Doesn't quoting Tolkien get all hot and bothered?”

She elbowed him, and he tussled her hair while he scooped up a dollop of mashed potatoes.

Leia stared down at her food, pushing the last of it around in thought, digging little shapes into her cranberry sauce. “What, princess?”

“Just, these moments,” she said, shaking her head. “These moments with you are so perfect and happy and for a second I forget about everything hanging over us.”

Eddie's deep soulful eyes met hers and he stroked a tendril of hair behind her ear. “It's okay to forget a little sometimes. Besides there's nothing you need to do for now except relax as much as you can, keep the music playing, and finish your dinner.”

She nodded, and scooped up the last bites, clearing her plate. Eddie smiled that devastating, dimpled smiled and said, “good girl”.

“Stop it! You have no idea what that does to me.”

“Nah, I have a pretty good idea” he said kissing her, lingering this time, then moving his soft lips to her neck, as she gripped his hair and her eyes fluttered shut with a sigh.

The door smacked open, and Steve hollered into the room, “Eddie, we need you to....whoa, sorry.”

Eddie groaned, but Leia laughed and smiled, turning to him. “It's okay, Steve.”

“Yeah, it's okay, Steve,” Eddie echoed but with a menacing grimace and an annoyed growl to his voice.

Steve shrugged. “Come on, Romeo.”

Eddie kissed her goodbye and trudged to the door. “You're such a cockblock, Harrington. And you know that play is totally misunderstood. It's not romantic. It's fucked up, and Romeo's actually a huge dickhead.”

Leia chuckled with surprise, nodded, and pointed to Eddie, exclaiming, “He's right!”

“Well, you're a dickhead too, Munson, so it still works,” Steve said, smiling a shit-eating grin as the two guys laughed together, slapping each other on the shoulders as they exited.

Steve called out to Leia from the doorway. “Leia, we're almost finished with this and then we can go, okay.”

She thanked him and then snuggled back into the sofa with her headphones firmly secured and a book in her hands.

------

True to his word, in a few moments Steve swung back in and the noise from the hall of people saying their goodbyes followed him.

“Hey there. We're just about done. The others are just packing up,” he said as he took a seat beside her.

“Thank you. Can I help with any of it?” Leia said, beginning to stand, but his hand came down on her shoulder as he said warily, “Sorry, but you better not...you know...because....”

“Right...sorry...I keep forgetting.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah...yeah. Just feeling tired and stressed...like all of us....and, you know, the looming otherworldly threat that has a chokehold on me. ”

He nodded thoughtfully and his thick hair bounced along with it. “You've been fighting so hard. You're really handling all this...well, a lot better than I did when I first found out about it.”

“Really?”

“Oh, for sure! I was a panicking mess, not to mention, kind of an asshole back then.”

She laughed. “That's hard to imagine.”

“Believe it. I can be super confident but also...you know..kind of an idiot. But listen,” he said scooting closer, “you know...you really don't need to fight so hard. You could just...let things happen.”

Leia twisted her face in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you're soooo tired. You could always just give in. Quit with the kindness and the altruism and just get what you really want for once.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

His voice dropped to a familiar growl, “Revenge, Leia. I'm talking about revenge and how very very good it can feel.” Steve's features were morphing into something else; soft brown eyes turning an icy blue.

“Henry,” she half-whispered as she tried to get up and run, but his long pale fingers clamped around her wrist like a vice. “How did...?”

His thin lips offered a wry grin, “You really should find a better method. The music can't keep me away forever. As you'll see, I'm getting stronger with each meal.”

She tried again to wriggle free, but he just clamped harder around her fragile wrist. The sensation was familiar.

“Remind you of something?”

One blink, and suddenly she was back in her old apartment with Sam yelling at her. She tried to leave the room and he grabbed her wrist, hard. Sam's bony fingers were surprisingly strong; strong enough to hurt, to leave a bruise that she hid with make up and long sleeves and nursed in silence. The ache of the bruise had been long gone for years, but she felt it now, and all the feelings of anger and shame that came with it.

The sinewy tentacles of Vecna's fingers released her wrist to curl around her shoulders. Another blink, and they were standing in a bedroom Leia didn't recognize. She did, however recognize the red-headed figure taking a nap there.

She gulped, anticipating what Vecna might have in mind and whispered, “Sam.”

Vecna's monstrous face was now right next to hers, hissing in her ear. “Do you remember what you were thinking, when you left that room and iced your wrist behind the bathroom door?”

“I don't remember...”

“LIAR” he howled, and she trembled.

“I wanted...please don't make me ...”

“SAY IT.”

Still shaking, Leia swallowed and said, “I wanted to kill him. I was angry. I wouldn't though.”

“Wouldn't you?”

She turned to meet his eyes and beg him, knowing where this was leading. “Henry, please...please don't make me...”

“Why not? He's loathsome. He hurt you in subtle horrible ways for years.” He dropped his voice, hissing once again into her ear. “And I know that when you thought about killing him...imagined killing him. I KNOW it felt good. Powerful. Didn't it, darling?”

Leia squeezed her eyes together against the swell of tears, and nodded reluctantly.

“Use your words.”

“Yes...yes it did. But I wouldn't do it.”

He turned her to face him, resuming his human form and holding her by the shoulders, an unnerving smile on his face which didn't quite reach his eyes. “I'm going to give you a gift, Leia, a choice. You can kill him with me, or you can watch while I kill your Eddie.”

“No...no no on. Please...please don't make me kill anyone.”

Henry tutted, as if soothing a child, and wiped her tears away. “Now darling, you didn't really think I'd let you keep your hands clean forever. Besides, once they're dirty, you'll realized how good...how righteous...it feels to have power for once. Now, make your choice.”

“Don't kill Eddie. Please..PLEASE.” Leia was nearly hyperventilating now, and choking out sobs.

“Then you'll kill Sam with me.”

She nodded clenching her eyes shut, as if this were all just a bad dream and she could wake up. He grabbed her chin roughly. “Open your eyes, Leia. Open your eyes and say what you're about to do.”

She obeyed. “I'm...g..g..going to kill Sam with you.”

Henry's youthful smiling lips faded into the smiling bones of Vecna's scarred mouth. The monster swung her around and stood behind her, pulling her tightly against himself. His arm branched into viscous tentacles, spiraled and laced around her own limbs. His fingers slithered like vines around her own so her hand moved with him. It was an indescribable constricting ache, all the more agonizing because it went slowly, deliberately seeping into everything. She wondered if this is what small mammals feel like as they're crushed by a Boa constrictor; a demise in slow motion, painfully aware of it.

Another blink and they were standing over Sam as he slept. “Reach in. He broke your heart. Now break his. Yours will be the last face he sees.”

Leia did as she was told. Their joined hands wove into his chest cavity, cradling the wet pulsing organ, which felt so much smaller than she ever thought it would; such a small thing keeping us alive. Sam was still sleeping, eyes clenched shut, flinching and wriggling. He was having a nightmare. It was this.

“Squeeze, Leia...hard.”

She did as she was told; trying not to look, trying not to think, but the torrent of hot shame and guilt was already scorching through her like lava, and Vecna wouldn't let her look away.

“Eyes open now, darling...” Vecna told her as he held a hand against her forehead, urging her to look up, meeting Sam's sickly face from mere inches away.

“Tighter”

As she closed her fist she felt a strange fleshy pop, a spasm and a gush of hot blood. Sam's eyes shot open, two bright green disks which clashed with his red-laced corneas. He looked directly into her face as he awoke, screaming her name in shock and horror in his last living moment. Their faces were so close that she could feel his last breaths burst across her cheeks, and his howling battered her eardrums. Then he wasn't Sam anymore. He wasn't arrogant, angry, slyly cruel Sam anymore. He was just a corpse; just a few dozen pounds of flesh left behind. Leia stared in a strange sort of dissociation; thinking how a recently dead person didn't look nearly as gruesome as she thought it might. He looked the same, almost asleep, but some primal intuition knew undoubtedly that he was dead...that this wasn't a trick. She knew in the same instinctual way any animal knows that they are looking at a carcass, not a living thing.

Another blink and she was in a preternatural chasm, with red lightning flickering overhead, draping her small form in Vecna's long shadow. Her hair rose up, smoke-like, around her, and the air felt heavy. Looking up she saw a shimmering surface. They were submerged. Despite her panic, she tried to pay attention to every clue, every detail that might help the others, while he was preoccupied with her.

He had unraveled himself from her and now simply held her wrist, gently this time. A cold sweat of disgust erupted over her skin as Vecna raised her hand between them. It was coated in the thick syrupy blood, so dark it looked nearly black. Tendrils of it danced upwards from her fingertips, carried on the fluid like drops of oil in water. She tried to scream but it wouldn't dislodge from her throat as Vecna's long rough tongue lapped at the gore.

He hummed in satisfaction, finally releasing her hand. “So obedient. So good. And see where it gets you. Hrmm?” He stepped back opening his arms wide, gesturing around himself. “Now you know where I am. Come to me in the waking world, pet, and I'll spare your friends. Resist, and I will take them all.”

@sunflowerdaydreamer @veemoon @little-wormwood @elegantkoalapaper @sweetsigyn @hellfirenacht

[steamworkblue]

Just wondering about your kylo, does Leia know her kid is a girl??? Like did kylo realize she was trans before or after she joined the first order? I'm just really curious about their dynamic and also how she would be treated within the FO if that makes sense. I'm really curious about your kylo in general tbh

so i don’t know if you’re the same anon as for the other one i guess you’ll know whether or not you are. still answering that one, started writing a long ass answer at way too late at night and will get back to it eventually, but

so, i enjoy changing it up constantly in aus but in what i think of as the “canonverse,” no, leia never learns kylo’s a girl; kylo figures it out shortly before she joins the first order (around age 13) but never tells anyone until after she has; being trans in the first order is basically a non-object it’s just… not a detail that’s considered socially important, gender in general isn’t really set much store in either. kylo is probably the only person in the first order with a gendered title but because of this it’s attributed to her rank rather than gender, therefore, all the knights are “lady ren” regardless of their actual genders.

(aside because i’m really into it: stormtroopers are considered genderless, all of them are assigned thon/thons pronouns)

so, yeah, how she’s treated in the first order has basically nothing to do with her gender or the fact that she’s trans, i like to imagine first order culture as centered around being as efficient as fucking possible, they don’t have time for that bullshit. you introduce yourself with your pronouns. all your superiors are “sir”. the way you behave towards someone is dictated by rank. (and, y’know, personal feelings, because there’s no getting around that, but that’s not protocol, that’s just a thing.)

(i also don’t buy into an all human first order - i do buy into a first order segregated by species for purposes of like, running your ship entirely for the needs of that species instead of bothering with accommodation.)

so, how she’s treated is basically with terror and respect, because she’s the supreme leader’s apprentice and the second most important person in the entire order, and behind her back usually some amount of disdain, because she’s both abnormal and very messy.

as for the leia & kylo dynamic - so, leia’s like, 25 max, trying to bring a fractured galaxy back together and facing huge amounts of resistance, and han’s useless, gallivanting off on adventures because he’s afraid of commitment, so, as a result kylo doesn’t really have much of a relationship with either of her parents. leia spends as much time with her as possible but with the demands of the new republic that’s still not very much. so leia tries to compensate by bringing her along with her, but leia’s in so much of the public eye, and what that results in is basically a lot of kylo being told to sit still and behave

and kylo. kylo is not a sit still and behave child. kylo is a child left to her own devices you will find her on the roof. you will find all the forks, cans, and potatoes in your kitchen arranged in an intricate design and she will scream if you move them. you turn your back and she’s gone. you turn your back and her shoes are gone. you can’t even see what she’s done with them. she’s eating dirt. she’s casually dropping dishes off the counter. she’s undone the control panel for something and is messing with the wiring. there’s a few years of her childhood where she just doesn’t talk. she just stops, refuses to. and she has the force, on top of all this. she can get places she shouldn’t be able to get. nothing is out of reach. nothing is safe, including and especially her. she’s too curious and authority is fake.

so she’s getting passed between a busy and frequently exasperated leia and various overwhelmed nannies, and then in a special education program once she’s old enough to go to school, and the message is, behave, be better, oh god stop doing that, all in the name of sanity and what’s socially acceptable and her own safety. and… it does work, in a matter of speaking, but what it really does is drill into her that all her impulses, her instincts, she has to bury. you cannot let them see what you are really like.

because the thing is - this is actually based of my own mindset when i was younger, and i had super supportive parents to boot - between being borderline and autistic, between the paranoia of the former and the lack of distinguishing others’ thought processes of the latter (there’s a word for this that i can’t remember and google isn’t helpful, ugh), it gets to be that the entire world’s an enemy. she learns that some children are punished physically and she doesn’t know how to distinguish that that’s not going to happen to her. one teacher is harsh with her and she doesn’t know that her mother won’t respond that way. and this, coupled with the tamping down on her rambunctious behaviour– 

the leia & kylo dynamic is one of fear and secrecy. kylo is terrified of her because she holds power over her and she doesn’t know what people with power over her will and will not do. she has learned that authority is an object. she can’t define that object, she doesn’t understand it. all she knows is the possibility exists that she will do something, an adult won’t like it, and she will be hurt. she doesn’t know what that something is. she doesn’t know who that adult will be.

and leia is overwhelmed by every aspect of her life and as stated earlier, doesn’t have much of a relationship with kylo to begin with, and has zero idea where she’s going wrong. she’s at her wits end. and as kylo gets older, she gets smarter about hiding who she is. about hiding anything, anything about herself, in case that turns out to be the thing they don’t approve of, the thing they make her stop. and she has snoke talking to her in her head now. she’s otherwise isolated. she doesn’t get along with other kids, hates her teachers, hates her family. they send her to learn under luke in the hopes that he can somehow reach her. but we know that doesn’t go well.

and her gender, her gender is a huge point of leverage for snoke. because that’s the biggest part of herself she’s hiding, and he feeds her fears, these people will never understand or accept anything about who you are, they are the enemy, there is nowhere you belong.

and, well. she reaches breaking point.

(she fakes her own death, when she destroys the temple. nobody knows where kylo ren came from, not even her own family til years later. still haven’t decided how, exactly, they find out, but. well.

your son is gone.)

so, uh, yeah. there’s all that. please feel free to drop by and ask more if you want!!!! i’d love to expound on her more c: and I will answer the other ask eventually. probably. unless you aren’t the same anon in which case there is no ask, you saw nothing *mysterious swirly hands*

[sassysnowperson]

For the au prompts: I'm a nurse au with cassian/bodhi? ❤

Prompt: “i’m a nurse and oh my god what happened why are you here i can’t lose you a second time” au

Oh, well, I see you like pain then! :D Here you go!

—

Cassian was six hours in on a twelve hour overnight ER shift. His feet hurt, his back ached, but he had managed to eat a muffin in between running from getting the overdose patient (female, 35, Caucasian; vomiting, UI indicates alcohol and ecstasy) to detox and the concussion patient (Male, 88, Hispanic; fall with head injury) to the MRI machine. So the shift wasn’t all bad.

Cassian couldn’t lie to himself. The shift wasn’t bad at all. He asked for overnights, and fought any attempt to transfer him out of ER. He liked the chaos, the energy, shifting into “go” mode and not stopping until, worn out and exhausted, his shift was done.

It was why he had made a good cop, back in the day. He liked saving lives. That had also made him a good cop, back in the day. Until it hadn’t.

(More under the cut! It got long…)

But, days like this one, which started at 8pm and kept him running until 2am and then an alert comes through, “Male, abdominal GWS, report to Operating Room 3,” these were good days. Cassian finished scribbling his chart notes, ran to OR 3, and scrubbed up.

“What have we got?” Cassian said, looking over at Chirrut, scrubbing up next to him.

“Male, mid-twenties, sustained abdominal gunshot wound, suspected gang activity, Dr. Malbus is prepping for surgery.”

Cassian nodded. The patient was wheeled past, into the room, and Cassian saw him for the first time.

Cassian stopped scrubbing and froze, the scalding hot water pouring over his hands unnoticed. Cassian’s entire world focused in on the face of the young man lying sedated on the table.

Rook.

No. That can’t be right. He shouldn’t. Not with gang activity. He had gotten out of Eadu. Cassian had made sure of that. The last thing he did before he left the force, he had gotten Rook out.

“Andor!” Chirrut said, ramming his shoulder against Cassian’s. Cassian over at Chirrut, who was looking at him with undisguised worry. “Lost you for a moment there. You know the patient?”

“I thought I did.” Cassian shook his head, growing angry. “But he’s here with a gunshot wound so I guess I didn’t!”

Chirrut stared at him for a moment. “You’re off this one,” he finally said. “Get Padme in here, go cover whatever she was doing.”

Cassian glared, opened his mouth to argue, but Chirrut continued softer, “You nearly took a layer of skin off your hands while staring at him. Whoever he is, he can’t afford you freezing. I’ll take good care of him, and Baze is the best. Now go get me a second assisting nurse.”

Cassian nodded, and with one final look at Rook, left.

—

Cassian was ten hours in on a twelve hour shift when Chirrut tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up from his patient’s chart (Male, African-American, 68; complaints of shortness of breath) and saw Chirrut smiling.

“Your mystery man is out of surgery. He’s in recovery now, prognosis is good.”

Cassian grunted and went back to his chart. He tried to deny the uncoiling of stress in his shoulders.

—

Cassian was twelve hours in and done with his shift. He clocked out and made a break for his car when his escape was interrupted by a large bouquet of flowers. Chirrut looked out from behind them, grinning.

“You shouldn’t have.” Cassian managed, perplexed.

“He’s in room 203. Go check on him. You’ll just be stressed out if you don’t.”

Cassian didn’t bother trying to deny that he knew who “he” was. He also didn’t bother arguing with Chirrut. Chirrut had been swing shift supervisor for as long as anyone in the hospital could remember and he did right by his nurses. He also took no bullshit. If he thought Cassian should go visit, well, Cassian was going to go visit.

Cassian grabbed the flowers and muttered something unflattering. He would do it, but he wouldn’t be happy about it.

His bravado lasted until he stood outside room 203. He looked down and saw the bouquet trembling in his hands. ‘Fuck.’ He had no right to be this shaken. It was just the adrenaline rush of the shift cooling down.

Cassian took a deep breath and opened the door.

Rook looked better. Still paler than he should be, but there was some color returning to his golden brown skin. His breathing was deep and steady, and the machines were beeping in all the right ways.

Cassian collapsed into the chair next to him, barely managing to put the bouquet on the side table as he went. Without even thinking he reached out and grabbed Bodhi’s hand, some strange emotion welling up within him. Careful of the IV line, he ran his thumb over Bodhi’s knuckles.

‘When did he become Bodhi?’ Cassian wondered to himself. He tried to remind himself he was still mad. Furious. Bodhi had gotten out of Eadu, out of the Imp’s and there was no good reason he should be back in some Imp’ gang war.

Unfortunately, any anger was short-lived next to the relief that he was alive. Cassian kept his grip on Bodhi’s hand and rested his head on Bodhi’s bed, looking up at Bodhi’s face. He looked peaceful.

—

The next thing Cassian was aware of was someone petting his hair. Cassian’s eyes snapped open to see Bodhi’s amused face looking down at him. Bodhi’s fingers carefully combed through Cassian’s hair.

“This is a nice surprise,” Bodhi said, “I should get shot more often.”

Cassian growled, “No!” and shot back upright. Bodhi’s hand fell back to the bed.

Bodhi gave Cassian a flat look. “I was obviously joking. But, just in case you need to hear it, ‘No, Cassian Andor, I have no desire to get shot another time.’”

“You shouldn’t have gotten shot the once! You turned state’s evidence, you were in witness protection, you were out.” Cassian spat the words at Bodhi.

Bodhi’s eyes flashed. “Well, you left the force. I tried to get in touch, you know. Imagine my surprise when I was informed that my ‘handler was unavailable’ and ‘on indefinite leave.’ I hardly see why you care if I went back.”

“I’m not losing you again!” Cassian snarled. “You came to us with evidence and the DA held it over you. Forced you right back into that nasty Scarif turf war. I watched how close that explosion came to you. You were caught in the rubble - I thought you were dead!”

Cassian was breathing heavy as he looked at Bodhi.

Bodhi looked up at him with his lips parted. He looked…surprised.

Cassian looked away, embarrassed after that rush of emotion. He continued, because he had to get it all out. “I resigned my commission the same day. When I found out that you had lived, that they pulled you out…I used what pull I had left to make sure Mothma honored her deal with you. To get you to safety.” Cassian’s face screwed up and his voice broke, “Guess we can see how well that worked out.”

“Hey,” said Bodhi, and a hand reached up to touch his chin, turning Cassian’s face back toward Bodhi. “I’m right here. I’m alive, I’m safe, and I didn’t get shot because I went back to the Imps. Mostly. It’s complicated.”

“God, Rook, does OpSec mean nothing anymore?” A voice cut in from behind Cassian. Long habit straightened his spine as he turned, eyes widening.

Leia Organa, Police Chief of the 23rd, marched into the room. She gave a quick nod to Cassian. “Andor. Lovely scrubs. Get out.”

Bodhi turned to Leia. “No. It’s visiting hours. He’s visiting. Erso saw the whole thing, if you need a report right this second take hers.”

Leia folded her arms, leaning against Bodhi’s bed. A smile twitched around the corners of her lips. “Pain in my ass, Lieutenant. This isn’t an official visit. Just a congratulations on not being dead.” Leia looked down at Cassian, and flattened her lips, “You didn’t hear it from me, but Krennic is in custody, and we’re unraveling the whole damn organization. Good work.”

Leia strode out again.

Cassian turned back to Bodhi, gaping. “You’re a cop?”  

Bodhi grinned. “Undercover. A damn good one, too, apparently.”

Cassian spluttered and Bodhi reached his hand up again. He ran his fingers over Cassian’s cheek. “A while ago I was in a lot of trouble. I met an officer who listened to my story and said, ‘I can help.’ It changed my life. I wanted to do the same thing for somebody else.” 

Bodhi’s fingers drifted down, stopping on Cassian’s lips. “That’s the official version. I leave out the part where the officer was the sexiest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen and our chemistry was off the charts. He was a professional though. Never went anywhere.”

Cassian felt Bodhi’s fingers drum against his lips, “I hear he left the force, though. Wouldn’t be any conflict of interest to see him now. I wonder if he ever thinks about me.”

Bodhi’s hand drifted away from his lips, down the line of Cassian’s neck. Cassian grabbed at Bodhi’s hand, and held it against his chest. He opened his mouth, started, swallowed, then finally choked out, “All the time.”  

Bodhi’s smile radiated across his face. He twisted his hand in Cassian’s grasp, tugging him closer. “I feel like we’re about five years overdue on a first kiss.”

Cassian let himself be drawn up out of the chair and then tugged down to Bodhi. Cassian’s heartbeat stuttered faster and faster in his chest as he got closer. He reached his free hand up to brush at Bodhi’s hair, carefully pulling the strands out of his face. Finally, after an eternity of anticipation, he pressed his lips to Bodhi’s.

It felt like coming home.