#growingupwithstrictparents

[realfactsnlogic]

pov: you had a strict upbringing where you are met with harsh consequences if you break a "rule" (unrealistic and uncommunicated expectations set by the adults in your life)

loved one: "I'm going to have to set a boundary" my brain: these are Strict Rules that you MUST FOLLOW or else you LOSE THEM FOREVER

[lilmissqueerparcel]

Eldest daughter in an asian household

everytime someone says something to hurt me like “you’re not good enough” or “you don’t deserve this” in my head i am literally laughing in their faces bc i have grown up hearing my mother constantly telling me and i quote “i hope you’d kys bc you’re the root of all the problems in my marriage” like that’s literally my mother and i still tell her i love her… you think a stranger’s words are gonna affect me? babe that ain’t nothing but a lil tickle.

[nicebigcuteeraser]

[my-cages-were-mental]

if this is how you treat a “good kid”, then how the hell would you treat a bad one? 

[caffeinatedenough]

[thepetrifiedeyeball]

[peysbookmims]

Ang hilig maglinis ng mama ko, tas pag napagod sakin magagalit.

[titaofpampanga]

[catluvus]

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[growingupwithstrictparents]

I started this account pretty much as soon as I moved out of (i.e. ran away from) my parents’ house. I was still so close to the situation that I truly believed everything that occurred was “normal” for growing up with strict parents.

After years of therapy, self reflection, further family conflict, and years of personal growth I can now with full confidence say that it wasn’t. It isn’t. And it’s not okay. I see myself in so many of you and I just want to say that your feelings are valid.

I don’t tell my story often, but one of the instances that I chose to share bits and pieces I had a grown man get upset with me because “oh *scoff* so they weren’t actually abusive, just strict.” I wasn’t at the place of healing I am now so I didn’t reply. I found a reason to end the discussion and sunk back into myself.

If that discussion happened today? No. Absolutely not. No one gets to do that to me anymore. I will NOT allow myself to be gaslighted. I know what happened. Not being able to go to the mailbox at the end of the driveway without announcing you were about to do so AND WAITING FOR THE GO AHEAD at 20 years old is NOT normal. Was anything actually keeping me from leaving? No. So why didn’t I leave? Sneak out at 16? 17? Ignore them, get in a fight, and accept being grounded? I was programmed to have a crippling fear of displeasing or going against my mother. Mine never even hit me and I can only think of one instance of losing computer privileges. They couldn’t ground me because it was my life.

I could go on but the point I initially wanted to make was that please know that even though I will continue to use the “growing up with strict parents” hashtag, I know your stories aren’t of those with strict parents. Mental abuse is abuse! I see you. I believe you. And my inbox is open to you.

Edit: I think at a certain point I was just rambling/venting but hopefully you get the idea

[reeelqr]

this is the most relatable shit i've seen all day

[nicebigcuteeraser]

My mom is a mix between a cool mom and a strict mom, she switches it up everydayyyy

[1-message-received]

[caffeinatedenough]

According to psychology, people who don't know what they like or what they want are the children who had to please and constantly adapt to their toxic parents/environment.

[thepetrifiedeyeball]