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Group Term Life Plan | Ageas Federal Life Insurance
Group term life plans offer affordable life insurance coverage for a defined group, providing financial security in case of death. Benefits are based on group terms, making it a practical choice for organizations looking to offer employee benefits.
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I come on this platform mostly to just have silly fun, but seeing queer, and especially trans infighting on my dash is so frustrating.
Friendly reminder that if you don't support all queer identities you can fuck off. Building a community requires supporting eachother, but don't think I will keep people in my community who care only about kicking down others, that's crab bucket behaviour.
Support transmascs. support transfems. support intersex people. support non-binary identities. support trans men. support trans women. support bi people. support pan people. Support Ace people. Support Aro people. support lesbians. support gay men. Especially fucking support black queer people. Especially fucking support indigenous queer people. Especially fucking support asian queer people. Especially fucking support SWANA queer people. Especially fucking support Jewish queer people. And any intersections of the above, and likely the many I've missed.
No one else's identity is lesser just because it is different,
#Kind of a vent post#probably shouldn't post like this tbh#cuz it might invite bad faith actors tbh#But I'm so damn tired about people pretending transandrophobia doesn't exist#speaking as a transfem myself#I don't care about what the specific term is or how “clunky” it sounds#Transmascs have a right to discuss their own oppression#just as us Transfems do#And a proper queer community sees us support eachother#Transfems that do not make space for transmascs in their life are not my allies#Same goes for any other queer identity#Some INDIVIDUALS are truly shitty and are not part of my community true#but we don't abandon those in our community for speaking up for themselves#Transandrophobia#transmisoginy#To be clear I am upset with people bashing transmascs and blocking those on sight#transmascs venting/talking about their oppression or the harrassment they face are not doing anything wrong#Wether they receive said harrassment from transfems or not. does not matter#Also anyone trying to argue “those don't count as queer though” about any group of queer people is a ghoul and not an ally
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The journey
#persona 3 reload#ryomina#shuyuka#aikoto#minaliz#this is basically how I interpret their relationship dynamics too!#ryoji sort of pulls the protag in his direction and leads him the way (he also goes through the same fate that's to come before he does)#with yukari you go side by side-she wishes to stick around with you and spend time together and she is really is there for you.#and aigis personally felt like a successor/pupil-like figure to me#she learns from you and gains her own life from it.. she felt like a daughter or a younger sibling in terms of you being the one that gives#as for elizabeth she's a surprise that barges in#she's very goofy and silly and I love that#I personally feel these four are the ones that the mc left the greatest impact on in terms of their identity as a character#the rest of the group were also greatly influenced by him but these four - he changed their lives so much and became their most beloved#doodle#persona 3#persona#minayuka
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out w these tall clowns 🌲🌸
#who up yume-ing their ocs w characters (me)#yumeship#matsukawa issei#haikyuu oc#hanamaki takahiro#haikyuu#mblue art#self insert#ocsona#or animesona either way its still an oc who may look similar to my sona 🧍#seijohbros au#this thing took too long (can you tell. this was for halloween. it is now 11/5 and i am queueing this)#and i keep taking it out of queue to drafts and putting it back bc im overthinking things and i rlly just need to drop it and move on</3#i love my blorbos sm they look ok in here actually but the process was shinji chair meme worthy i was suffering </3#context is halloween party das it (left is dressed up as that stabby ghostface guy. knife prop and mask not shown)--#--(he may have joked abt stabbing once. maybe a few times)--#--(right is an angel. kinda low effort/simple fit. ironic bc none of the ppl in the friend group are angels /hj)#in the group; ocsona is the closest to these two goofy mfs (not surprising i am in the utmv fandom. lots of goofy skeletons in there)--#--but the one they trust the most is the guy on the left !#((used the yumeship term bc my ocsona (specifically)'s main thing w them is platonic (i love silly shenanigans what can i say)--))#((--even if i sometimes want to rom smooch these dorks))#yearning about f/os (rom or plat) is so nice n fun you guys should do it n have fun n get some more whimsy in ur life 10/10 i recommend
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Very messy scribble of a comic because they were on my mind (I doubt I’ll ever clean it up so I’m just posting it now so it doesn’t rot in my procreate files LOL)
#genzen#zengen#demon slayer#genya shinazugawa#zenitsu agatsuma#kimetsu no yaiba#genya x zenitsu#tanjirou kamado#tanjiro kamado#I’ve been feeling a very special type of sad lately so I wanted to kinda project that a little bit on my silly guys#I don’t often think about them in universe it’s always usually just modern au#I like to think that they were on good terms during hashira training#genya apologized for hitting him after they met up again from sanemis training#they spoke a little bit to each other at that point but after that it was mostly just#existing together during group hang outs#the whole group was preexisting already#genya just kinda would stand back and silently watch them have fun and banter#he never really felt like he belonged together with all of them#zenitsu also struggles with feeling like he doesn’t deserve to be apart of the group as well and will sometimes sit back with genya#they laugh together at inosuke and sit in a silence of mutual understanding#he doesn’t really show it but zenitsu is genuinely very torn up about hearing genya death#he missed his chance to be friends with the one guy he had the most in common with#he never got to see the soft side tanjirou would tell him about#if only they could’ve met before everything turned bad#if only they could’ve met in a world without demons#maybe they wouldn’t have turned out so bad if they had each other#maybe he would still be here if he had someone#zenitsu will forever beat himself up that someone as bad as him died when he himself lived#he didn’t deserve his second chance at life just as much as genya didn’t
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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Out: Puritan and Quaker America
In: America lived with the Shakers because they saw him as just another sad little abandoned orphan and with their interpretation of God leaning more mystical they weren't freaked out by him not aging normally
#but honestly the Shakers are (where) a super interesting group of people#progressive in terms of gender and racial equality+ had a work ethic that was like yeah you had to work but you should also make art#and invent things to make your like and the life of others easier#and other religious groups HATED them for that like it was viewed as being super whacky and unchristian#from a academic perspective I have to wonder how many Shakers were gay/lesbian/asexual+ and they just didnt have a term for not wanting#heterosexual marriage in early 1700s England so they just sorta did their best to create their own community in the environment#they already had available to them#I also really like this for Nyo America due to how I think it would have impacted her mentality about being a leader#hws america#aph america#nyo america#hetalia america#hetalia#historical hetalia#alfred f jones#amelia jones
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gentle skin to skin contact is a rare gift in this movie . lucie’s [human] voice gave anna the power to persevere, not the closeness to seeing something otherworldly. the voice of god and the voice of lucie are similar in what they inspire; human connection is instinctive to want and the voice of a friend and the feeling of love is endlessly more (traditionally positively) moving than a mystical idea emphasizing the loss of life
#i think a lot of this is arguable actually#martyrs 2008#being moved by something otherworldly or/and nonhuman is also very powerful but very isolating? only in terms of things that aren’t#religions really since religion is driven (i may be wrong) by the fact that it’s a *group* of people who believe and not just like . one.#again i might be wrong about that . i don’t know enough#rereading and sctual a mystical idea emphasizing loss of life is actually very powerful But driven by fear/negative emotions? maybe .#definitely not always though#martyrs#new french extremity#this post doesn’t make sense the more i reread it i#i’m just glad i got to get all of it out . my mom is refusing to let me talk about this movie to her
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wanted to adapt the google search results a gay woman got in a japanese drama "tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna" which is good btw.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the most light and gentle version of flirting-like behaviour of all time - a mutual passing thing - a peaceful dance through the long years#a way to work you out.. a way to express something about myself. all these steps are leading up to that beautiful magic#that you read about once. but actually we've been making it all this time... many many steps to this wonderful recipe.#the only non-perfect & non-fated thing about them is that oru is gay but (imo) qif could easily be transfem at any time. don't test him#oru being a woman wouldnt change anything for qif but oru is gay as hell.. However if qif was a woman then it'd be fine anyway no doubt.#oru would give in his membership to the Gay Men's Picnic Club group he goes to and embark on this life instead..many such cases#also i was typing “am i gay” into google when drawing tsukutabe fanart to check what google looks like#and “am i depressed” was the autofill for “am i”. qif's life is like: maybe he would have looked up something like oru did#but he got a bit distracted and started reading about cptsd instead which seemed more pertinent. sometimes childhood goes this way <3#anyway Tsukuritabe..Kinou nani tabeta...And witch hat kitchen.... the trio of gentle silly 30+ gay couple situations..ohh..#orufrey are the combo of those. like tsukutabe they aren't together yet. like kinou nani tabeta they are a long-term couple. beautiful#i will never let go of them. drawing this has cheered me up. they are with me
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By implying that children are too stupid and rude to learn about the world and learn how the world works and how to interact with others, you are casting responsibility away from the people who are responsible for that child's upbringing and placing the blame on the children (who don't have the autonomy given to them to be allowed to decide what they want) who can't help what they do and do not learn, often.
If the children aren't okay, then investigate why before turning to thought-terminating clichés of, "Well, the kids are just stupid and dumb and aren't even worth the effort because they're lazy!"
#youth liberation#i was really bothered when i saw this clip where this person was saying almost verbatim that...#...'kids [these days] are too STUPID and they're teachers are scared!'...#...why is the blame placed on the kids who have no control over school curriculum and what their home life is like or if they have money...#...it's because when you place the blame on the people with no power or control you don't have the responsibility to change circumstances..#...you essentially keep the status quo while simultaneously belittling a group of vulnerable people...#...and thus you feed into the cyclical nature of the broken education system#the kids these days AREN'T okay but it ISN'T THEIR FAULT...#...it's the fault of late-stage capitalism and poorly-funded education and a world that wasn't even built with them in mind...#...they had NO PART in the creation of the world which is hostile to their entire existence#don't mind the incorrect usage of their in the second tag i was so focused on how pissed i was#also remember how a good chunk of these kids lived through *checks notes* the fucking PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN#which was a clown show in terms of supporting kids and their parent/s#some places handled lockdown in the US better than others but holy fuck in my area at least it was a nightmare#what do you expect from parents who are now working full-time and teaching part/full-time and parenting full-time?#what support exactly are you expecting they recieved? because you'll likely find they got either a little or NONE#hilarious that i used the wrong their in a post subtweeting about education LOL#look i was focused on how PISSED i was lol cut me some slack here
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Preston x Danse is the only companion ship I think would actually work because Preston’s inner turmoil is sort of a loss of faith in himself due to the traumatic experiences he’s faced while Danse is looking for something to have faith in and would find the fact that despite the desire to give up Preston held out so long not just for the honor of the Minutemen but because he had some hope.
It would 100% start off as a lotta unhealthy on Danse’s side as I believe he completely lacks the emotional intelligence (due to a combination of factors) to recognize the he’s feelings as anything but a sort of respect for a superior along with leaning too much into Preston as a substitute for the BoS. Preston may not really have a title but he’s like THE Lieutenant of the Minutemen. Realistically he’s the only companion Danse would probably be comfortable taking instructions from especially for how trusted Preston is by the Sole Survivor and his adherence to military standards despite how unstructured the Minutemen are. It would be him waiting for orders, approval, anything from Preston and he thinks it’s just the desire to have the regiment of the BoS again but he also like when Preston compliments him on being useful or resourceful. He likes the stories of Minuteman glory days and he trades the stories of the BoS that don’t hurt to talk about. He likes the familiarity Preston would provide and he’d be oblivious that it’s not just new found loyalty to the Minutemen.
Yet Preston explains it himself that he’s not a natural leader. He’s not an instructor. He helps manage what the General has put in place and he content on doing that. He relays what needs to be done and does major upkeep but I don’t think he’d know what to do with this guy this literally marches up to him and practically begs for a mission that doesn’t exist. Like the formality and respect is nice but he can tell it’s covering something even if Danse doesn’t.
Danse could go to Sturges for the many repair and upkeep assignments he gives him and has the freedom to go straight to the Castle if he really wants a big mission, but he chooses to come to him everytime. He’s aware enough that Danse only trusts him out of all of the Generals confidantes but it would take a bit for him to understand why. If anything Danse should be strategizing with him as equals seeing as he almost got the Minuteme wiped out and Danse was a Paladin for the Brotherhood with many successes under his belt before Preston even led his first scouting mission. It’s like he sees him as some figure of hope, some one who can come in and add stability. Someone with a fresh outlook who can provide a new perspective for him.
It’s like he sees him like he saw/sees the Sole Survivor but that would be crazy because that would also mean… and then oh, it clicks.
The revelation is both flattering and he doesn’t know what to do with it cause how do you address “I know you respect me but is that the only feeling you have for me?” To the guy who like refuses to rest unless you tell him at ease? He has to reevaluate his whole manner of interaction with Danse cause this is a very slippery slope that he’s sliding down and it’s even more perilous due to Danse’s repressed emotions regarding… everything. There’s an equal chance Danse will try to open up as completely shut down and he’s not just concerned about it cause Sole Survivor cares for him but because he has grown to care for the guy too. It’s not like he doesn’t also enjoy Danse’s company and value as a Minuteman member. He’s not a love at first sight guy but he’s played with the idea, anyone would when you’ve spent nights trading stories, historical facts and beers by the fire in a little home you’ve carved for yourself through literal blood, sweat and tears.
I think it’s one of those cases where it’s agonizingly slow to the actual relationship but neither part are anguished about that. If anything happened to soon Danse would be too dependent and Preston not equipped to handle it. It’s a case where I genuinely think they’d bring out the best in each other cause theyd want to figure out what is best for the other and not just apply what they think is the best. It’s the care that Preston would ask Danse what he wants to do and encourage it and at the same time Danse would be incredulous everytime Preston second guesses himself.
Long story short it’s a good ship to me because it’s just two guys with broken confidences and faith in their roles being each other’s hype man and kissin a little about it.
#my thing with the other ships is less that the compatibility is bad but a lot of these characters would not enable the best behavior in eac#other or they want drasticlu different things in life or partners and while flings or non serious things would work long term I imagine#problems would arise that a lot of them would not know how to address with each other like Preston is the most well adjusted besides like#Piper. I’d say Nick but he has the whole I’m technically another guy thing going on and DiMA and he’s a workaholic and throws himself into#danger a lot if Ellie is to be believed so like Piper is the closest next to Preston#a lot of these people should not be in relationships rn honestly because they have barely worked through their issues and should learn to b#health mentally and physically and emotionally alone first as they cling to hard to SoSu#like it’s almost all of them but like Piper Preston and MacCready but RJ is also just kinda a dick but we knows he’s always been like that#Preston x Danse is till more so a like this develops slowly and Danse doesn’t know why his stomach hurts when Preston doesn’t include him i#his patrol squad for the day and blames it on feeling like he’s being excluded for not being good at it and Preston excluding him cause he’#like I need you to do something for yourself of of your own volition but also his buddy deserves a break and does not get that Danse is lik#a work dog that constantly needs a task or he becomes neurotic#I have so many thoughts on the compatibility of the companions cause some of them are like fun partners and fwbs and others would have the#most heartbreaking toxic romances known to man but still get over it the next day and be fwbs like none of them have healthy feelings#Preston x Danse#dunno if they have a ship name#fo4#preston garvey#fallout#fallout 4#paladin danse#danse#Danse’s active flirting is like ‘you know how to perfectly create a secure perimeter I have trouble believing it wasn’t just bad timing and#luck with the misfortune that followed your group to concord Lieutenant Garvey’ and it’s like the most reassuring thing Preston has heard#but that is like not a flirty thing but Presont is still smitten by it cause what the fuck does this guy see in him or why is he suxking up#to him and his poor planning skills
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Hi! Marine biology is an interest of mine and finding your blog was like a goldmine to me. Unfortunately my city doesn't offer a program for it and learning myself always feels overwhelming past the basic fun facts stuff. Are there any websites, video series, or books you'd recommend? Something that introduces more technical terms/concepts would be great, but I'm really open to anything :)
Sorry if you've been asked this or if you don't really have an answer :,D
I have answered similar asks before, here is one and here is another! But things more on the web, hmm... I'm afraid I don't know exact places to go looking for technical terms, sorry to say. My recommendations will definitely have to do more with things on the funnier side. For one, I definitely recommend checking out @montereybayaquarium here on Tumblr, they have fun and educational content! And my buddy @bethanythebogwitch has a Wet Beast Wednesday -series where she goes more in depth about a specific aquatic animal each Wednesday, I always reblog them because they're so good but there's a whole collection if you haven't seen! Also shoutout to Hakai magazine that has many articles about conservation, environmentalism and other cool news related to the oceans, it was recommended by my other buddy @eros-vigilante!
That's about it, I sadly rarely remember to note down the things I'm watching ^^'' The only YouTuber whose name I can recall is Ze Frank, because his username is so different and his videos really stick with you. He has a "true facts" series! And I did also find the coastal seas episode of Our Planet on YouTube too, so that's a fun place to go to, too.
Hope this helps! I'm glad that marine biology is of great interest to you! :3
#whenever i want to find more technical terms related to things like anatomy i just go look up xyz anatomy etc.#but this obviously will not work if youre just starting out. youd need to know what youre looking for to even start looking!#i tend to do research topic-by-topic. overview and distribution and behaviour and anatomy and life history and so on#but again this works for certain groups of animals. not in general for marine biology#doerqpfergböots sadly im not too much of help when it comes to researching because i always just jump in TToTT#asks#anon#anonymous#anonymous asks#important
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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and then i realized today well shit man no wonder im exhausted all the time. i work all day and then i spend the rest of my time at home also working on writing and stuff so that i can obtain a single shred of the feeling of love and attention and validation through writing 150k words that some people get for free just for existing
#when my grandma said she loved me grandCHILD i realized it was the first time i had felt loved in person in a very long time#and the first time i had ever felt like any family member had ever known or understood me period#i write thousands and thousands of words to be seen and understood and the fleeting attention i get not only solely exists on the internet#but its like meager fleeting scraps compared to people who have been selected by others just for existing#i write to be understood because it’s the only way i obtain a sense of love in terms of like#‘being understood’#i write to obtain love and it is scraps and table crumbs and none of it is irl#i’m not used to living in a life where i dont have to work to be loved#what is that like#every single thing i have to do for love (attention) is work#if i dont talk in the group chat people dont talk to or think of me#if i dont host gatherings at my house no one goes out of their way to see me#i cant just come home and exist and know i am loved by someone#i have to talk#or post#or write#or host parties#or organize events#and it’s work work work work work#but when i go home im alone and so it’s basically like i dont exist#so it’s the only thing i can do to prove im out there to someone so people dont forget me#oh and all the parties and hosting and writing and posting and events are fleeting anyway#they end and then everyone leaves and nothing changes until the next one and then it repeats
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make housing affordable rn pls
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