#groundhog day chapter 3

[demonvampire180writes]

Groundhog Day Chapter 3

BuckTommy Fix-it Fic Rated: T

4,571 Words

No editor/editing

On Ao3

Chapter 1 on Tumblr

Chapter 2 on Tumblr

The lights are too bright, even behind Tommy’s closed eyelids. Groaning, he turns over and attempts to pull the comforter over his head, but fails when he realizes he’ll have to try more than he wants to because it’s tucked in with hospital corners at the foot of the bed. Snorting his displeasure, he rolls back onto his back and pries his eyes open, one painful centimeter at a time until he’s staring at a room that doesn’t feel familiar through a half lidded gaze.

Wrinkling his nose, he pushes himself onto his elbows and does a head swivel of his surroundings. The space is cozy - lived in but not messy - with a half full hamper and a few articles of clothing that must’ve just missed being thrown in. There’s a set of matching dark wood dressers pushed against one wall; a walk-in closet packed to the gills peeks out from a partially cracked door. Another door, overflowing with well worn sweatshirts and baseball caps, opens into a mostly tidy bathroom. An old, frayed, grey washcloth is bundled up on top of the white marble countertop next to a black toothbrush holder. The gold colored faucet gleams like a brand new fire truck.

A sharp pain nails him in the temple and he closes his eyes as he breathes through it. It takes much longer than it should have for the pain to go away, though it sits at the fringes of his awareness. Grunting, he opens his eyes once more before pulling himself into a sitting position. He’s shirtless, but he’s in his trusty rust colored sweats. As the pain ebbs, one of the doors rockets open and a tiny ball of fury whips through at warp speed, jumping like a spider monkey into his lap as it screams, “Daddy!” at full volume. His brain short circuits again at the title. He’s not anyone’s dad. Right?

Realizing the creature is a little girl, all he can do is watch as she wraps her arms and legs around his own legs, pinning them in place. The breath is knocked from his lungs when she turns his face up to look at him, grinning with a gap toothed smile, the top front left one missing. She’s got that round, cherubic face only the young seem to have, but what catches Tommy off guard is just how much she looks like B… like Evan. Like his genetics really said copy and paste after bullying the other party’s genes out of the way. Her glacial blue eyes are wide open and shimmering under the filtered morning light. Her head is covered in nearly butt length loose curls that folks would argue over whether she’s a blonde or a brunette.

“Pipa!” A familiar voice chides, followed by a visage Tommy dreams about on the regular. Evan… No. Buck. Buck enters the room carrying a breakfast tray, the smell making Tommy salivate like Pavlov’s dog. He swallows hard, heat pricking at his eyes though he’s not sure why.

Seeing Tommy is awake, Buck approaches him and drops off the tray before leaning in and pecking Tommy on the lips. One hand strokes his daughter's hair until she sits back. “Morning babe.” Buck grins, the crows feet in the corner of his eyes more pronounced than Tommy can seem to remember. He looks… Different. But how?

Buck turns to Pipa as he says, “We have to let daddy eat. Let’s go downstairs to get ready for school.” She shakes her head with vehemence.

“No! I want to stay with daddy.” She scurries up the bed, definitely leaving a bruise on his leg as she uses it as a springboard to launch herself forward. Before he knows what’s happening, the little bundle of energy is burying herself under his arm against his side making the most adorable pouty face he’s ever seen. She has to be a Buckley, alright, with a pout that lethal. Pipa crosses her arms over her thin chest and glares daggers at Buck.

Evan.

The man sighs and places his hands on his hips. Anyone else would have likely been considered looming, but he just looks like a giant teddy bear in need of a hug in his sweatshirt and jeans and wild, loose, curls. His daughter remains unfazed, burrowing further into Tommy even. Not knowing what else to do, Tommy wraps an arm around her and musses her hair a bit. He receives exactly one giggle before she’s back in tantrum mode. “Pipa. We need to get ready for school so daddy can drop you off in a bit.”

“No!” She huffs, turning her face into Tommy’s pec, burrowing her nose against it.

“Pipa.” His tone is more serious now, and he’s no longer smiling with that exasperated fondness so many parents seem to hone with their children.

“I said no!” She screams as she wraps her arms around Tommy’s middle, her voice an ear piercing shriek. Tommy feels dampness against his skin and is shocked to realize that this little girl is really spilling tears over this. Overwhelmed, he leans over and places a kiss on her head before turning his gaze back to the man still standing over them.

“Pipa.” Buck’s tone is absolute no nonsense now, and Pipa realizes this. She grabs the edge of the blanket and bunny kicks it until she can slip under the comforter before pulling it up over her head. “That’s enough young, lady. I’m not playing around anymore.” Pipa whines and flops around some, continuing to bunny kick under the blankets, jamming knobbly limbs against Tommy. “If you don’t get over here right now I won’t allow you to go to Melissa’s birthday party this weekend.” Oh that was the wrong threat because Pipa howls as though she’s been pierced through with a steel arrow laced in poison. Her trickle of tears becomes a torrent.

“Hey, Buck.” Tommy says, grimacing because it feels like it’s not his place to tell the man how to raise his kids. He doesn’t immediately notice the way Buck flinches at his own name. “It’s fine. Why don’t we let her stay up here while I eat, and then I can help her get ready for school.” Said child sniffles and nods emphatically against him. It’s ticklish but he tries his best to remain stoic. He doesn’t want Buck to think that he’s laughing at him.

That’s when he notices the devastation on the younger man's face, his expression crestfallen, arms limp at his sides. His mouth flops open and closed a few times, but eventually it snaps shut and he nods. Shoulders hunched in on themselves, he turns away and begins to shuffle towards the door. What the hell? “Buck?” Tommy says, voice soft, but confused. The man goes even stiffer, if that’s possible, and he shuffles faster. “Evan!” Tommy calls sharply. He stops, still trying to make himself smaller than an ant. “What’s wrong? Is it okay if Pipa stays up here?”

“She can do whatever she wants.” His voice is wet, tone clipped. Tommy’s confusion grows even more. What the hell is going on? “I’ve got to get ready for work, I have a 12-er today.” His hand touches the doorknob before he says, snuffling, “I’m sorry if I made you mad.”

“Mad? Why would I be mad? I don’t care if Pipa stays while I eat breakfast. I didn’t want you to get upset because she wasn’t listening to you.” Little fingers angrily pinch his side and he responds by giving her a squeeze to let her know that her behavior isn’t okay, but she can stay because Evan needs a break.

He’s quiet for so long Tommy honestly thinks he’s not going to answer but he finally says, stilted, “You called me Buck.”

Tommy’s brow furrows. “Well. That’s your name, isn’t it? Didn’t you say that’s what all your friends call you?” He grunts when pain reminiscent of a needle drilling into his skull shoots across his temples. The hand not holding Pipa shoots up to grab at it, eyes screwing shut until it passes.

Buck is speaking but Tommy finds it difficult to hear through the pounding. “But. You’re not my friend.” He pauses. “I mean, you are but… You’re my husband. You’ve only ever called me Buck when I’ve done something wrong.”

More searing pain. Gritting his teeth Tommy hunches forward as he tries to fight back the nausea rolling through him. Husband? He and Buck… Evan… are married? He pries open one enough to look down at his hands where he spots a brushed copper band  a few millimeters wide on his left ring finger. Taking deep breaths he pulls himself back into a sitting position. Pipa is staring him down with worry in her eyes, her own issues forgotten in lieu of her fathers plight. God they look so much like Evan’s. It’s painful to look into them and see pain reflected back. Evan’s expression morphs into one of serious concern as he reaches back towards Tommy. “Hey, are you alright? You’re looking kind of pale.”

Tommy waves him off, plastering a grin on his lips. “No, I’m all good, sorry. I think I’m just feeling a little sleep fogged still. I didn’t mean to upset you, babe. Come back here.” He holds his hand out and waits for Evan to take it before he drags him in to kiss him lightly. Pipa protests, pushing away from his body but can’t get far with his arm still locked around her. “I’ll get her ready for school as soon as I’m done, okay?”

Sighing, clearly still a little bit upset, he nods and pats Pipa’s head, cups her jaw for a moment and then trudges out of the room, shoulders still hunched.

“Is papa mad at me?” Pipa asks, blue eyes looking extra wet.

Sighing, Tommy shakes his head. “No honey, I think he’s upset with me. But that’s okay, it will be fine. Why don’t we eat this delicious looking meal that papa made just for me before we’re late?” A single stem of lavender pokes out from what looks like a repurposed saké jar, and two overly fluffy pancakes sit stacked with a large pallet of melting lemon butter and a dollop of whipped cream on top. There’s a tiny silver carafe of warmed maple syrup that Tommy pours in purposeful drizzles over the breakfast cakes.

Over the next twenty minutes, he alternates taking his own bite, before then offering one to his daughter who hums happily with an added excited wiggle. Once she has her fill, she slips out from under his arm and dashes out the door yelling, “Jonah!” as she clomps down the stairs. Chuckling, he finishes the last few bites before setting the breakfast tray aside and hauling himself out of the king sized bed. Stretching, he searches the room, trying to decide where to start. Groaning with an extra good stretch, reaching his arms above his head with his fingers laced, and palm facing upwards, he decides to start in the bathroom. He wastes no time brushing his teeth and giving himself a cursory shave. The counter is so clean the lights reflect off the surface. He plucks at his curls a bit, trying to make them lay a certain way, and fails so he sighs and goes out and into the walk-in to grab clothes. Grabbing a navy ribbed long-sleeve shirt, he shimmies into it - it’s form fitted to his figure -  before grabbing a pair of dark wash jeans with a little bleaching effect along the thighs. They fit snuggly, enough to show off his powerful thighs and give his ass a little squeeze but the waist is perfect, and comfortable. He slips into a pair of tennis shoes before leaving to head downstairs.

Outside their room is a hallway with three other doors. Two of them are covered in decorative bubble letters spelling out each of the kids' names, and a few silly posters. Another door leads into another bathroom that has a very clear frog motif going on with the giant lilypad shaped bath mat, and a cartoon poison dart frog on the shower curtain. Two frog face shaped step stools are lined up neatly against the double vanity. Tommy grins, just knowing that it was Evan who helped choose the decorations. Those kids probably know more about frogs than any kid their age should. Especially ones of the poisonous variety.

Smirking, Tommy takes the staircase quickly, barely holding onto the railing. As he reaches the first floor landing, a young boy barrels on by, backpack flopping half open behind him. Evan shouts after him, “Jonah, your bag is open. Close it before you lose your schoolwork!” He sounds irritated and Tommy wonders if it’s because of him. “Pipa, where are your shoes? I have to leave and daddy needs to get you to school.”

“I can’t find my unicorn shoes!” Pipa screams as Jonah shouts, “I won’t lose anything, papa, it’s fine. See?” He turns his bag upside down just for a shower of loose pencils and papers to come cascading out of the top.

“Whoops.” He looks up sheepishly. It’s like a gut punch, seeing the face of the man he loves from thirty years ago staring up at him with the same crooked grin and tiny port wine birthmark in a damn near identical spot. Unbidden, a quiet whine squeezes past Tommy’s lips so he coughs to hopefully cover it up.

Not that he has time to contemplate because Evan huffs with such rage that Tommy’s eyes go wide with surprise. “Jonah, this is why I told you to close your bag all the way. Look at the mess you’ve made, and you’re already running behind. And Pipa you’ll just have to wear a different pair of shoes today. I don’t have time to help you look.” Tommy doesn’t know the last time he heard Evan’s voice so hard, his expression so serious. His eyebrows are knit together in the center and his mouth his whipcord thin, frown lines deep along the corners.

Jonah’s bottom lip trembles and his eyes drop to the floor. Pipa is hollering behind him about how she wants those shoes and that she won’t go to school if she can’t wear them. “Jonah, apologize to papa. Now. And Pipa, if you keep behaving this way, one more sentence out of your mouth that isn’t ‘yes daddy’  or ‘yes papa’ you absolutely will not be attending that birthday party.” Tommy steps in, hoping to keep the pot from boiling over. “We don’t reward misbehavior in this house.”

This causes Pipa to lose it as she falls to her knees and screams. Tommy lets her, hoping she’ll tire herself out. Jonah kneels down to begin picking up his mess. Ever so quietly he apologizes, sounding sincere, “I’m sorry, papa.”

“And what will we do next time Papa asks us to do something for our own good?” Tommy quirks an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Listen.” Jonah sniffles, crumpling the papers he’s picking up as he crams them into his bag.

Sighing, Tommy goes and kneels next to him, stilling his little hand. “That’s right, Jonah. Thank you for saying you’re sorry. Would you like me to help you clean this up?” He nods just the smallest bit. Tommy says nothing but pulls the little boy in so he can kiss the top of his head, ruffling those same disastrous curls he loves on Evan so much, to show he’s not angry. He sniffles once again before giggling, pushing Tommy away. The two of them make quick work of the mess and this time, Jonah makes sure to close the zipper all the way.

Evan is over with Pipa, doing his best to calm her down but she’s not having it. Sighing, he stands up and shakes his head. “I don’t have time for this. I need to get to work. Sorry Tommy.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Thanks for making me breakfast. It was amazing.”

“Don’t mention it.” He runs a hand through his hair and blows out a raspberry, trilling his lips as he surveys the area around him. “I guess I’ll leave it to you, then.” Shrugging with another heavy sigh he goes to walk past Tommy without even a touch but Tommy grabs his wrist and stops him.

When he turns to look, Tommy pulls him into another gentle kiss and brushes his hair out of his face. “Have a good day at work, Evan. I love you.” He kisses him on the lips again and then the tip of his nose. “I’ve got things handled here, so go in with a clear head, alright?” The first smile Tommy’s seen all morning crosses his face, tiny as it is; nothing more really than a quirk of the lips. But it’s a smile nonetheless. Nodding he takes in his family once again before disappearing around the corner. A couple minutes later Tommy hears the sound of a door swing open and then shut, and then the sound of a garage door opening.

He turns his attention back to the two little humans now solely in his care. Jonah has gone up to his sister and wrapped her in a hug, whispering that things will be alright. Clearly, he’s got a soft soul, and Tommy prays to a God he doesn’t believe in that the world doesn’t beat it out of him. The world at large needs more soft hearted people. Pipa’s crying has ceased but now she’s hiccuping, heaving breaths, cheeks tear stained and eyes red. “Now that that’s all squared away.” He’s stern as he looks down at the kids. “Pipa, you’re going to find a different pair of shoes to wear-” she opens her mouth to protest and Tommy holds up a hand, palm facing her, “- do you not remember what I said about not saying any other words besides ‘yes Daddy’ or ‘yes Papa’? Because just because Papa has left for the day doesn’t mean that threat doesn’t still hold. I don’t want to hear another argument from you or you can kiss your fun weekend goodbye.” The dramatics of a six year old. Pipa slumps to the floor and pounds her fist against the carpet. Tommy says absolutely nothing. Just waits.

Jonah comforts her by running his hand up and down her arm. She tries to bat him away but he doesn’t give up. Eventually the crying stops. “Are we done?” Tommy asks. Nothing. “Pipa. Are we done throwing a tantrum and getting all our big feelings out?” She pounds the floor exactly two more times before dragging herself into a sitting position and nodding. “What do you say?”

“Yes daddy.”

“That’s great, but don’t you think there’s maybe something else you should say after upsetting papa by not listening when he was already stressed?” Tommy crouches in front of her and gently rubs her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” Her bottom lip quivers and she pounces forward, wrapping herself awkwardly around Tommy’s middle. He opens his knees a bit more for balance and drags her in for a proper hug.

“Thank you. And I expect you to tell papa that when he gets home tonight, okay?” She nods. They hug for a minute more before Tommy unlatches her and slowly gets to his feet, grimacing as his knees crack. Getting older sucks. “Now. Let’s find you some shoes and head out. We’re running really late and I don’t want to be yelled at by the receptionist.” Both the kids giggle. Pipa does as she’s told, running to the front closet to grab a different pair. Jonah takes Tommy’s hand and drags him to the garage door to wait.

Less than ten minutes later he has them secured in their booster seats in the back of an SUV he doesn’t entirely recognize, and they’re navigating through morning rush hour. He pulls up to the drop off zone with five minutes to spare, traffic was forgiving this morning, and he hustles them from the car. Wrapping a hand around their shoulders, he guides them into the building, stopping in the in-between foyer to kiss them good-bye and to tell them to have a good day. They wave enthusiastically as they pull open the heavy inner doors and run down the hall towards where their teacher waits outside their classroom. She lifts her hand in a wave as they squeeze past her, so he waves back, grinning. He stays long enough to see her get them into the room.

As soon as he’s back in the car he takes a deep breath to center himself. What a morning it’s been and it’s only just past nine. Smirking because everything feels ridiculous, he puts the car in drive and heads out. Something guides his hand because he finds himself pulling into Harbor maybe half an hour later. The tarmac is mostly empty except for a few pilots who seem to be cleaning their birds while it’s slow. Pain zings through his left temple and he winces, pressing a couple fingers there. It doesn’t last. Weird. He thinks, face sliding back into the indifferent mask he’s known for. Choosing not to think too hard on it, he drives around to the side of the hangar where the employee parking is. To his surprise, all the spots are full, but he swears he works today. Another zing of pain spiked energy.

Tommy can’t help the inkling of concern creeping its way in. He’s never been the type of man to get headaches, and certainly not random cranial pain throughout the day. It’s now happened multiple times that he tries to access a certain part of his memory and is then tormented by a nail to the skull. Grimacing through the pain, Tommy pulls off to the side where he knows he won’t be in the way and hops out, not bothering to lock the doors.

The sun overhead is bright which doesn’t help the pain and Tommy has to squint to be able to get anywhere. He holds his hand at his eyebrows even to make a visor of sorts. The pain isn’t fading, it remains a dull throb at the edge of his consciousness but he’s got to get rid of this nagging feeling in his chest. He makes it across the tarmac and enters into the hangar itself, which is bustling. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he searches for anyone familiar. That’s when he hears, “Kinard?” from his left. Turning, he sees a younger woman, early thirties probably, standing by one of the birds not outside. The access panel to the engine hangs open and a rag covered in grease or oil hangs out the back pocket of her flight suit which she has the top half undone and hanging loose, wearing an LAFD issued t-shirt tucked in.

“Hey… Um…” He stares at her face and blinks rapidly a few times but for some reason it’s like she’s a frame in a movie where the DVD got scratched up. Her features are distorted, so much so he’s surprised he can tell what color her hair is. Screwing his eyes shut, he rubs at them with his thumb and middle finger so long and hard he sees stars. When he opens them, not only is it not better but it’s like she’s physically glitching, multiple horizontal panels flickering and fuzzing in and out. Then the pain hits, and it’s nothing like he’s felt before.

It’s so aggressive that he crouches and holds his head in his hands, grinding his teeth to keep from screaming. “Tommy?” The woman whose name he doesn’t even know sounds so concerned but it only makes the pain worse. Her voice is closer and a moment later a petite hand clutches his shoulders, gently shaking him. “Hey, Kinard, are you okay? Do I need to get a medic over here?” He can’t see her turn but he feels it. Reaching up he grabs one of her wrists and shakes his head.

“Fine. I’m fine. I… I don’t know w-what’s wrong with me. I’m just going to… head home. I can’t work today.” He inhales deeply through his nose to push back the nausea rolling over him like waves on the ocean shore. The whole world swims and he’s sinking.

She tenses. “Work? What are you talking about, Tommy? You retired over six years ago. Once your husband got promoted to captain you guys decided only one of you needed to work.” She pulls her arm from his grasp and steps back. Tommy only knows because he’s opened his eyes fractions of an inch. Any more is too painful. The strange woman, apparently someone he doesn’t work with, states, “I’m going to get one of the paramedics over here to look you over. Did you maybe hit your head recently? Do you have any other symptoms?”

Struggling to stand, Tommy takes multiple staggering steps backwards, holding out his hand in a warding off gesture and says, “No, sorry. I’m just fine. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Just been a weird morning I guess. Thanks for the concern, but I’ll get out of your hair now. Y’all have a nice day.” He chances looking at her and the air whooses from his lungs when she’s in clear focus; no more weird glitching like he belongs in the Matrix or a bad video game. The nails in his temples are almost nothing but a memory.

“If you’re sure…” She looks ready to stop him if a single thing more happens, and he won’t take it well if she tries, so he turns on his heel with a wave and makes as quick of a dash to his car as he can without a word.

As soon as he arrives home he bustles into the house and finds the hard liquor, downing at minimum two shots of whiskey. The niggle in his mind is becoming an earworm, digging at him, nagging at him, but he can’t seem to burrow deep enough. Leaning against the counter, he lets his head drop as he breathes, eyes closed.

After a few minutes, he gathers himself enough to make it to the couch where their black cat Rain sleeps at one end, a black hole against a grey background of fabric, and Rusty - their old basset hound - curls up on the floor in front of it. Rusty lifts his head when he senses Tommy but snorts his disinterest before laying back down, sighing deeply as he falls back asleep. Tommy spends around five minutes dissociating with the remote in hand before eventually turning the TV on and losing himself in some game.

That evening, after Evan safely tucks the kids in their beds, and Tommy reads them each a storybook, Evan takes Tommy slowly. He enters him, rocking his hips as Tommy wraps his legs around him, needing Evan’s warmth and reassurance. They kiss and whisper reassurances to one another. When they’ve both come, sated and satisfied, Evan cleans them both before snuggling under the blanket and bringing Tommy against his body, burying his nose in his neck as the two fall into deep sleep.

Tommy wishes he could’ve fallen asleep with peace of mind, but subtle terror remains, eating away at his mind.

[let-your-chaos-explode]

I Got You, Babe - Chapter 3: Confusion

Lady Leonora Lesso woke early to the sound of birds chirping through the open window of her tower. Sunlight streamed through the window and settled merrily against the bed. 

Lesso slowly blinked open her eyes against the sunlight, anticipating a massive hangover as punishment for the amount of alcohol she had drank the night before. She groaned, reached for an object to throw at the obnoxiously loud birds, and paused. There was no headache. And she remembered. 

The birdsong continued, and against the melody a few knocks sounded against the wooden door of her bedroom. Knock, KNOCK, knock.

“Rise and shine Lady Lesso! It’s a beautiful morning and you are LATE for the students’ return!” Professor Dovey called from behind the door. “You have ten minutes before our school address!”

Cold dread settled in the pit of her stomach as the sound of Dovey’s heels faded down the stone corridor. 

Lesso kicked off the covers and slowly rolled out of bed. With apprehension, she opened the wardrobe and her gaze settled on the same outfit from yesterday hanging pristinely and unworn. She snatched it off the hanger and angrily got dressed. And with a sharp flick of her wrist, her make-up and hair were done. 

“Let’s get this over with.” She sighed.

She marched along the bridge from the central tower. Confusion, anger, and admittedly a little bit of fear clouded her thoughts. Why was this happening to her? Did someone curse her? Was she going insane?

She violently slammed open the doors to the assembly hall. The flinching reactions of the students and staff were ignored as she stalked to the main podium. 

“How good of you to join me.” She said as Professor Dovey opened her mouth. “Yes, I know. ” 

Dovey’s mouth clicked shut with a taken-aback expression loud on her face. “Do I say it that often?” 

“Often enough.” Lesso muttered as Dovey plastered a wide and entirely fake smile upon her face, addressing the students. 

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t have to if you were ever on time.” She hissed out of the corner of her smile. 

Lesso crossed her arms and shrugged. It wasn’t like she was ever going to change her ways. 

The roar of the students continued to climb as they entered the hall. Lesso eyed the clock on the far wall and idly noted that they were running behind schedule. Dovey must have done the same. 

“Shall we get this show on the road?” Dovey asked her, the implication clear in her voice. 

“I thought I’d let you do the honors.” 

“Welcome back, students!” The Dean of Good called across the auditorium. 

But the deafening volume, if possible, grew louder. She shot Lesso an imploring look that was promptly ignored. 

“Attention!” She shouted, attempting to imitate the authority usually present in the Dean of Evil. 

A few Ever heads turned in response. 

“ATTENTION!” She shrieked, slamming her golden staff against the floor. 

Immediately, the chatter died down. 

“Well done, princess. There’s hope for you yet.” Lesso smirked. 

“Thank you, Lady Lesso.” Dovey smiled brightly. “Welcome back, students! I hope everyone enjoyed their time away from school and got to enjoy some rest and relaxation. Today will be a day of reorientation. We will resume our regularly scheduled classes after breakfast. Please refer to the schedules handed out to you before break.”

Lesso mouthed silently along to Dovey’s speech. After a beat of silence, the blonde looked at her. 

“Do you have anything else to add?”

“Nope!” She said with a loud pop of her lips. 

Dovey looked at her quizzically before returning to address the children.  “Copies have also been posted in the main halls of each castle and in your personal dormitories. You are dismissed! Have a wonderful first day back!”

The students rose from the bleachers and began streaming out the door. Lady Lesso stood to follow them. 

“I’ll see you at the staff meeting after breakfast. Don’t worry, I won’t be late.” She called over her shoulder, missing the unnerved expression left on Dovey’s face as she exited the hall. 

Lesso stopped and waited at the junction of the main corridor and the hallway leading to the dining hall. She leaned her back against the stone wall and counted to three before sticking her cane into the walkway. Perfectly timed, Emma Anemone rounded the corner and tripped over the walking stick and crashed to the ground. 

“Oh, Professor Anemone! I’m so sorry.” Lesso cried with exaggeratedly feigned remorse. “I’m sure that wouldn’t have happened if you had been watching where you were going.”

She hummed sagely like she had just imparted some grand, life-changing advice. 

Emma rolled her eyes and with a stupid amount of grace, picked herself up off the floor and adjusted her dress.

“Are you satisfied?” Anemone asked with a bitter edge to her tone. 

“Very.” Lesso nodded succinctly. 

Emma cocked her head and scrutinized her from head to toe. 

“See something you like?”

“I see you , Red. I see the sad little girl inside. And some day, you might realize that every effort you have put into making everyone else around you feel low is because that’s what you feel. Maybe then you’ll realize that not once has it done anything to lift you any higher. You are in the same place now that you were when you started. Maybe, one day, you’ll understand that some of us have been trying to simply accompany you along the way. I really do hope you realize that before you end up completely alone and just as irrelevant as you always feared you would be.”

Leonora’s eyes narrowed and she lunged for the historian, grabbing her by the flared, pink sleeves. 

“What the fuck did you do to me?” She hissed in a rage. 

Anemone pried Lesso’s fingers off her dress and shoved her lightly away, confusion plain on her usually impassive face. 

“Have a good day, Lady Lesso.” She said dismissively. 

Emma gave her a wide berth and did not take her eyes off of the Evil Dean until she had rounded the corner, shaking her head incredulously as she made the turn. 

Lady Lesso slumped uncharacteristically against the wall and pulled at her hair in frustration. She abandoned the idea of breakfast and instead made for the library in the School of Evil. Clearly, she was cursed. Though, even as an expert on curses and death traps, she felt way out of her league. Maybe the beauty teacher had nothing to do with it. It was not in the realm of “good” magic, after all. But the words felt as if they had been carved into her brain and she was left feeling distinctly haunted. 

She poured over book after book on curses, but none provided any answers about re-living the same day. She did find a simple text on enchanted tattoos that gave her pause. If she was doomed to relive this day over and over again, would permanent changes carry over? She hadn’t yet noticed any consequences from the actions of her last trials. Lesso twirled her brightly glowing purple finger and with a hiss, a small raven appeared at her wrist. 

__________________________________________________________

“You’re late!” Dovey hissed as Lesso found her seat. 

“Better late than Ever.” She answered, rolling her eyes. 

A brief, glazed look flitted across Dovey’s face before she gathered herself to address the staff. “Thank you everybody for joining me for our quarterly staff meeting!”

“Let’s get this over with.” Lesso grunted. 

“We don’t have much to discuss since our previous meeting. Lady Lesso and I just wanted to follow up with everybody regarding the unification of classes and to problem-solve any hiccups.” 

Hands waved in the air and the staff all at once began to talk over one another. 

“SHUT UP!” She shouted over the dull roar, startling the participants into silence. “Let me guess…Yuba, your pea brain can’t figure out how to get the students from sabotaging one another, other than a shared grade. Beauty teacher wants to discontinue the curriculum and teach sex education instead. And Espada is incompetent and can’t figure out that his teaching methods are garbage.” 

Owlish, dumbfounded blinks stared back at her. 

“Was I right? Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Well…I don’t know that it needed to be worded quite so rudely.” Dovey stuttered. 

“No, I won’t teach the course.” Lesso continued, pointing an accusing finger at Anemone. “And you need to introduce girls from both sides into your class, Espada. And you need to adapt your teaching to their individual strengths and weaknesses. That should be common sense.” 

Still, her audience gaped. Before the swordsman could open his mouth to question her, she met his eyes. 

“You want to know how I know…Let’s just call it intuition.” 

“Lady Lesso, that was very insightful advice.” Dovey added from her seat, attempting to break the tension. 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Lesso asked sarcastically. 

Deep, chocolate eyes cut over to Lesso’s and firmly held her gaze. 

“I never said that I was. I believe I was offering a compliment.” 

The undercurrent of defensive hurt laced Dovey’s words. Embarrassment crept in Lesso’s chest and she was once again caught off guard by the Good Dean’s support. She averted her eyes and cleared her throat uncomfortably. 

“In the interest of the students’ education, I will offer some assistance in teaching Espada’s class.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.” Dovey said warmly. 

_____________________________________________________________

Lesso started her first round of classes with a simple textbook on each desk. She refused to suffer through the agony of the practical with students already so far behind in the curriculum. She very pointedly ignored the groans of protest and enjoyed the silent study hall instead. 

“When do we actually get to the poisons part of Potions and Poisons?” 

Lesso launched a paperweight into the center of the room. 

“Get out!”

The students scattered like pearls off a broken string and she was alone again. Lesso pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed deeply into the empty classroom. A headache was forming between her eyes and the exhaustion of her situation started to settle in. What was she missing? Why was this happening to her? 

The clock tower chimed noon and as if perfectly synched, her stomach growled in expectation. She trudged across the bridge to the dining hall and scanned the table for a vacant chair. Absently, she noted she was significantly earlier than “yesterday” and the crowd was much larger. Lesso’s eyes settled on the only empty chair at the table, next to Dovey.  Across the hall, her doe eyes shifted from whoever she was talking with and met Lesso’s unintentional stare. Her face brightened and she patted the seat next to her welcomingly. 

An unidentifiable feeling squirmed in Lesso’s belly. Her eyes darted around the room for a moment before her feet betrayed her. 

“Lady Lesso, good afternoon!” Dovey said brightly as Lesso hesitantly dropped into the vacant chair. 

She flushed warmly under the incredulous stares of the other staff members present and did not return the greeting. She filled her plate with the lackluster grilled chicken and some sad looking green beans. 

“It’s rather bland, wouldn’t you say?” Dovey whispered out of the corner of her mouth. 

Lesso watched the fairy godmother cut at the meat on her plate and push it around convincingly. She allowed a soft hum of agreement to be heard over the scraping of the cutlery. 

“Thank you for volunteering to help with this afternoon’s class.” Dovey tried again to elicit conversation. 

“If your teachers demonstrated any semblance of common sense or ability, I wouldn’t have had to.” Lesso barked and internally cringed. 

As the words fell from her lips, she suddenly desired to take them back. Why were conversations with this woman so impossible lately?

The same tight smile from before pulled at Dovey’s face and her gaze averted uncomfortably to the tasteless meal. Unfamiliar shame crawled up Lesso’s back at having put that expression on her face. She liked the genuine smiles better.

Wait, what?

"Yes, well, we all still have things to work on. Myself, included.” Dovey answered distantly. “Good luck with your afternoon.” 

The Dean of Good stood and cleared her plate. 

“See you later.” Lesso said lamely, watching her go. 

Storian, she wanted to slap herself. That was just as bad as her first go at it. And she didn’t even know why she wanted her conversation with the infuriating woman to not go poorly. Maybe it was those stupid wish fish getting into her head. 

“Well, that went well.” 

Lesso flinched violently and whirled around in her seat to glare at the one person who would dare to make a comment. Emma graced her with a self-satisfied grin and lowered herself fluidly into Dovey’s now-vacant seat. 

“What the fuck do you know, beauty teacher?” Lesso scoffed, shoving her plate away angrily. 

“A great deal more than you give me credit for, Red.” 

Lesso’s eyes cut sharply back to regard the historian from her periphery. 

“Clarissa is an Ever , Red. She thrives on compliments, pleasantness, and genuine conversation.” Anemone spoke as if she were talking to a toddler. 

“Are you telling me she wants me to sit here and tell her she’s pretty?” Lesso asked flatly. 

“Do you?” Emma interrogated. 

“Do I what?”

“Think that she’s pretty?”

“I don’t have time for this.” 

The thought was absurd. She had nothing but time! But she certainly did not want to be a part of this trainwreck of a conversation any longer. Lesso pushed her chair away from the table and reveled in the series of cringes as the feet screeched against the floor. 

___________________________________________________________

She didn’t bother observing Espada’s miserable attempts at instruction. She met him on the lawn and promptly told him to sit down and shut up. 

“Save your petty fighting for the battlefield. Use the opportunity we are giving you to hone your strengths and purge your weaknesses! Win or lose, these matches are supposed to teach you about survival. Consider it practice, because in life, there are no do-overs.”

She fought the shudder that threatened to break free at her own lecture. She matched the boys into more optimal pairs, learning from her previous attempt and set them upon each other. 

“Espada, where are the girls?” She questioned him during the reprieve. 

“Princesses do not belong on the battlefield, witch.” He said pompously. 

Her lip curled in abject disgust and the tip of her cane roughly found the center of his chest. 

“Have you learned nothing in the past year?” She snarled. “Any one of my Never girls could crush your Princes in a duel…in no time flat.”

Espada gave an unbothered shrug and slapped her cane away. “Prove it.”

Already on edge from the way her day was going, Lesso shucked her coat in a rage and snatched up a sword from the pile. 

“Let’s do this.”

The commotion drew the attention of the students practicing and the clang of steel faded as they lowered their arms to watch. Lesso and Espada bowed respectively and each took up a differing readying stance. The Dean of Evil adopted a more rounded position: she leaned lightly back into her bad leg with her good leg forward, and maintained a two handed grasp on the sword positioned across her body with the hilt anchored at her hip. Espada took up a more traditional posture, with the sword far out in front of him in a long point stance. 

She didn’t have to wait long. The consistent brashness of Evers came through and he lunged. The attack was easy enough to dodge as she pivoted on her forward leg and maintained her position. He swung high and she parried. Lesso allowed him to push her backward a few paces. With a few more carefully positioned ducks and dodges, she finally had him where she wanted him…staring directly into the afternoon sun. 

Sweat had started to collect at his hairline and his collar from the exertion of his offensive attacks and from maintaining the forward hold of his sword. In a flurry of swift slashes, she danced around the falling arc of his sword and tapped his flank with the broad flat of her steel as his weapon clattered to the ground. 

A slow series of claps erupted from the student audience and a piercing whistle highlighted her victory. 

“That was awesome, ma’am!” One of the Ever boys complimented. 

Lesso threw down her sword and lifted a sculpted eyebrow at her opponent. Espada scoffed and stalked off the field. 

“Worse than children.” She muttered, shaking her head. “Class dismissed!”

She snatched up her discarded cane and limped heavily back to the office. She hissed and cringed at every stair she was forced to climb, and in heels. 

“She was so caught up in the routine of her day, she almost missed the presence of the Dean for Good at the tower window.” The Storian narrated as she walked by. “Her steps faltered and her sharp gaze cut suspiciously to the quill.”

“Are you writing about me?” Lesso snapped, sounding mildly unhinged to her own ears. 

Her cane cracked loudly against the floor as she stomped over to the book. 

“Her turbulent green eyes searched the page for any helpful information, but found nothing of use.”

“Stupid fucking feather.” She hissed. 

The golden quill poked her roughly in the shoulder as if in reprimand and remained poised threateningly. 

“Alright, I’m going!” Lesso surrendered with narrowed eyes. 

She shoved open the doors to the office, immediately looking to the window to find Dovey looking through the pane. 

“Don’t you have class?” She asked as she collapsed at her own desk, opening the decanter of bourbon. 

Dovey eyed the alcohol with distaste but didn’t comment. “I have a free period.”

Lesso’s glass paused midway to her mouth and she raised a questioning eyebrow. “I didn’t know that.”

“I don’t usually spend it doing paperwork.” Dovey said with a self-deprecating smile as she gestured to her disastrous desk. “But I just had this odd feeling that I should be up here today. It was rather persistent, actually.”

Her smile faded to a pensive frown. 

Lesso’s eyes darted to the doors leading to the antechamber and back to Dovey. “Have you paid any attention to the Storian lately?”

“I don’t typically pay it any mind. The words just tend to fade into background noise, if I’m honest.” Dovey confessed. 

Lesso gave her a noncommittal hum and poured herself another glass. 

“You’ll fill up before dinner.” Dovey said quietly, gesturing with her chin to the glass. 

Lesso knocked it back and shrugged. “I probably wasn’t going to dinner, anyway.” 

Dovey pierced her with a scrutinizing look. Her soulful eyes looked sad and the intensity of her stare made Lesso squirm. 

“Doesn’t that ever make you feel lonely?” She finally asked. 

Lesso swallowed thickly against the nausea that lurched in her throat. The question felt entirely too on the nose and she fought back the eerie feelings it provoked. 

“I am a Never, Dove. To be a Never is to be alone.” She rasped into the rim of her glass. 

“It doesn’t have to be.” Dovey replied simply. 

The fairy godmother rocked on her feet and cleared her throat. The silence settled heavily in the air and neither Dean knew how to move forward. 

“I am going to go freshen up before dinner.” Dovey finally said. “There’s always a seat for you next to me, if you change your mind.”

She offered one last smile and turned on her heel before striding through the door. 

Lesso nursed her glass for a few minutes more. Truthfully, dinner did not sound appealing in the slightest. The cacophony of students and staff in the crowded hall was enough to make her want to stab her own ears on a good day. And today certainly was not a good day. And yet, inexplicably, she did not want to disappoint the other woman…something she seemed to do every time she opened her mouth. 

No, today was scrapped already. She just wanted this nightmare to be over. Lesso eyed her empty glass and sighed deeply before placing it hard on the desk. No more. 

She glanced at the hideous clock and decided to take a walk. It was earlier than she had been, but she wanted some time alone at the lake before Dovey would inevitably come by. 

She forced herself out of the chair and into the rapidly approaching night. The sun was sinking behind the broad backdrop of the castles, casting hues of red and orange against the sky. Objectively, it was beautiful. But Lesso couldn’t be bothered to notice. 

Her legs carried her over the well-worn paths and to the edge of the lake. She sank heavily into the damp earth and glared at the softly rippling water. 

“Did you do this to me?” She asked the wish fish below, but her reflection staring back at her was the only thing that she saw. 

Lesso reached out a hesitant hand to the surface and let a slender finger break the tension. Again, Dovey’s glowing face formed in the magical glow of the wish fish. Her smile was soft and wistful. Lesso’s heart clenched at the almost sad look depicted in her eyes. It was the same look she gave her in their conversation earlier. 

“Nevers can’t love, you stupid fish.” She bit out angrily. 

The picture shifted then. She saw herself, unmistakable except for the glowing smile and twinkling eyes. Her likeness cradled Dovey’s face so gently and captured her lips in an unbreakable kiss. Dovey’s hands came up to cover her own and those sad eyes fluttered in pure bliss. 

Lesso gasped and snatched her hand from the water as if she had been burned. She stumbled back from the water’s edge and breathed in deep through her nose to quell the rising panic. 

“No. You know what, I don’t need to take life advice from a couple of enchanted guppies.” She snarled. 

Lesso continued grumbling and she stomped back to her chambers. The sun had long set behind the trees, and in the dark she careened into a warm body. 

“Fuck me, this happens way too often to be natural.” She groaned from the hard, cold ground of  the stone bridge. 

“Lesso! I’m so sorry! I was just on my way down to the lake and I was not watching where I was going.”

Concerned, Dovey stared down at her, offering a hand to help her up. 

“Nope!” Lesso shouted, hauling herself to her feet and brushing past Dovey. 

She practically sprinted up the invisible stairs and to the safety of her bedroom. Behind the closed door, she slid to the floor and bit the inside of her cheek to stifle a scream. She traced a finger over the fresh ink at her wrist, praying for answers. Slowly, and then all at once, she had an idea. 

“You can’t start the day over if you don’t sleep!” 

She lunged for the bedside table and was immediately grateful for the change in routine of the day’s morning. Her hands found the small clock, clutching it tightly to her chest. It was nearing eight PM. Only twelve hours to go before this hellscape would start over. 

She could manage that. 

Next Chapter - Chapter 4

Previous Chapter - Chapter 2

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Part 9

Fic Summary: Steve 'the Hair' Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you'll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

Chapter Summary: You and Eddie go on your first date, but the past always lingers. 6.5 words

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Note: Y'all get to be a little horny in this one. As a treat <3 Also the poll results said you don't mind small details of what you all are wearing, and that you wanted to dress moderately slutty so I tried to keep that in mind. Enjoy!

Eddie kept his promise. For the next few days the two of you found yourself talking on the phone a lot between work shifts, band practice, and school. Late night talks became the norm, the two of you spending your evenings opening up to each other bit by bit. 

You told him about Family Video and gave him the scoop of which of his peers were renting from the back rooms, and he told you about his own shifts at the Hideout and about the weird things his drunk usuals would say. Bev had been giving him shifts again, which was at least a small steady income compared to his usual dealings.

The next Tuesday you had gone to the Hideout with Eddie, this time with him picking you up and dropping you off after. It wasn’t a date, not exactly. It was just two people who had an interest in each other hanging out with other people. Eddie had said the main reason it wasn’t a date was because he was technically working, and he didn’t want your first official date to have his band mates tagging along. Of course, that didn’t stop them from giving him knowing looks and giving him shit whenever your back was turned. Eddie would carefully keep tabs on how often they would do it, and would make them pay later during their campaign. 

That was fine with you, you were still more than happy to just spend time with Eddie and learn more about him. Watching him play guitar was mesmerizing and it was nice to be able to gawk at him in peace during his set without Steve telling you to close your mouth and stop drooling. 

After the set and dropping everyone else at home, the two of you had spent another two hours in his van just talking. Now that everything was out in the open, that awkwardness that had been between the two of you had faded into nothing. You found that talking to Eddie was as easy as talking to Steve, and you loved hearing about all of his stories from Hellfire and hearing him talk about his music. 

The only reason the two of you didn’t stay up until morning parked in front of your apartment building was because Eddie was reminded by you that he was still in school and needed to get some sleep for class the next day. When you kissed his cheek again before sliding out of his van he made a mental note to beg Bev to go on with Corroded Coffin on a Friday or Saturday for once. 

Halloween was on a Thursday this year, and you had made it very clear to Keith that you were not going to be working that night, or the next day. You had saved up all your bartering chips of overtime and days where you came in when anyone else couldn’t. You had put in your time off request three months in advance. 

Work could have you any other day of the week, but Halloween was yours and yours alone. You’d work Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Arbor Day, and Groundhog Day. You’d forgo Easter Sunday, New Years Eve and Day, and you wouldn’t bat an eye at Valentines day. But Halloween? That was yours and yours alone. 

It was the one day out of the year that you felt like you could be you. Even after the monster that is Hawkins High tried to strip you of being yourself, you pushed through and came out the other side of graduation with a new determination to never water yourself down again. You worked your ass off to save for your own run down apartment, to find clothing that you loved and not just what your peers told you to wear to blend in. 

If you wanted to show up to a shift on Halloween dressed as Han Solo with a Teddy Bear, you damn well could and no one could stop you. Not even Keith. 

But lucky for you, when the schedule for the week was posted that Monday, your name was thankfully cleared for Thursday and Friday. Keith could handle himself for those two morning shifts, and Robin and Steve could handle the evenings. It’s not like Family Video was really busy or open late on Thursday nights and you trusted Steve and Robin to handle the Friday rush. 

You woke up that Thursday feeling like it was your own personal Christmas. You took your time to wake up, have breakfast and get ready for the day. You almost called Eddie before you remembered that it was still a weekday and he would be in school. Besides, it would be weird to call him before your first date, right? 

Steve had given you a crash course on first dates over your shared shifts. His advice was a mixed bag to say the least. Every time he gave you insight into the male mind on how to act or dress or talk on a first date he would then backtrack when he remembered who he was talking to and who this first date was with. 

“Listen, you got this far by being a weirdo.” Steve had finally said after the conversation had basically gone nowhere. “I guess keep talking about eating bats and fake being drunk and you’ll get the guy.”

“You know, when you put it like that I’m starting to see why maybe this whole casual dating thing hasn’t worked for me in the past.” you had replied. 

Most of your Halloween was spent by yourself, but that wasn’t a bad thing. You started off with a nice slow morning of carving your annual jack o'lantern, having learned the hard way to not put it out early, lest it rot or be smashed by asshole kids in the neighborhood. The afternoon was spent around town, just taking in the crisp fall air and the decorations set up by all of the shops.. 

The hypocrisy in this town was stunning sometimes. Every other day of the year you had been followed by whispers of the Satanic Panic and any idea that something other than the norm might be related to something more nefarious was ostracized. Sometimes you could understand where the fear was coming from, after all the Byers kid had disappeared, presumed dead, and then had come back all within a week a few years ago. Barbara Holland had been killed by chemicals in the Hawkins Lab. There was even the fire at the mall that had killed the police chief, as well as the local lifeguard. It seemed like every single year some new tragedy would strike the small town. 

You couldn’t wait to run away to somewhere else. 

But for now, the day was yours and the night was Eddie’s. Your stomach flipped every time you thought about meeting up with him tonight. You had built up this production a lot over the past few days. You had seen the shadow cast about once a month since you were old enough to go at 18, give or take a few times where you had other plans. 

Each time you had gone, you had checked the board hoping to see the announcement that they would be opening auditions to be part of the cast or crew. But the show was tight knit, and that rarely happened. 

But at least that meant that tonight you could share something with Eddie other than your origami. Not that you were embarrassed by your hobby, but compared to running a D&D campaign and being in a band, it didn’t feel like much. 

You never seemed to run out of things to talk about with Eddie though, during your late night talks on the phone. When you weren’t captivated by his tales of running Hellfire or the inspiration for his music, you two would talk about everything else. Music, movies, the occasional small town gossip, anything you two could think of. You had already compiled a small list of movies that only one of you had seen, because all new relationships always start with “What do you mean you haven’t seen this movie?!”

That’s how you and Steve and Robin had bonded over those first few months. It probably wouldn’t be that much different with Eddie. 

After a long stroll through the town, a quick stop in to your favorite coffee shop for a treat, and a bout of window shopping in the Halloween aisles of local stores, you made your way home. You considered dropping by the high school to see Eddie as the afternoon came to a close, but you didn’t want to seem desperate. You’d see him soon enough anyway. 

As the evening went on, you popped in a few thematically appropriate movies that you watched between doing your hair and make up and passing out candy to kids who came up to your door. You may or may not have saved some of the best candy for yourself. And Eddie. He liked Snickers right? You hoped he did. 

You were ready a good two hours before you needed to meet him at the theater at midnight. You were starting to wish that you had invited him over to pre-game before the movie, but unfortunately you had listened to some of Steve’s advice and were left sitting around in your fishnets and dark lipstick for your first date with Eddie. The only thing you weren’t wearing yet were your tall boots which you only broke out for this showing because they were too uncomfortable to wear anywhere else. 

Steve had relented that you were going to dress weird for the date, considering the day and the nature of what you and Eddie were doing, but he said it’d be too weird to get ready with him. 

You decided that next time would be different. Next year, you’d have Eddie over all day, and the two of you would spend the day carving pumpkins and listening to music and arguing over what movie to watch as you passed out candy. Eddie would probably be stingy with the candy so that there would be leftovers for the two of you at the end of the night, and you’d be giving bars out by the handfuls. Maybe the two of you would cough up the dough for some full sized candy bars for kids with really fun costumes and-

What were you doing? You weren’t even officially dating yet, the first date hadn’t even happened! You were getting ahead of yourself, and thinking way too far ahead. You didn’t need to be thinking these domestic thoughts about a guy you barely knew. 

Get your shit together. You scolded yourself. Let’s try and go on one date first, then maybe have dirty thoughts about him and then I can have mushy domestic thoughts about him if things go well.

You were really hoping things went well. 

After around 10 pm the trick-or-treaters tapered off and you dumped the remaining candy in your bag for the movie. Your hand itched for the phone around 10:30, your brain telling you that it was getting late and that you should call Eddie now if you wanted to talk to him before bed, and you reminded yourself that you’ll see him in an hour. 

The hour could not go any slower. 

“Steve, I’m freaking out.” you said into the phone the second he picked up. “What the fuck am I doing?!”

“You’re going on a date with Eddie Munson to a midnight showing of a movie that has no plot.” he yawned. 

You resisted the urge to hang up on him and instead paced around your living room, holding onto the phone. 

“Steve, I’m serious!” 

“So am I, the more you talk about the movie the less sense it makes.” 

You lightly smacked your head against the wall. “How do you do this every week with different girls?! I’m going on one date and I feel too damn antsy.”

The chord to your phone stretched to its limit as you walked towards your bookshelf and pulled out your senior year yearbook, flipping through it. 

“Dating is like any other skill, you have to practice and actually do it to be any good.” Steve sighed into the phone. 

“I hate that.” you said, looking through the Ms. Maddison... Morrison.... Munson. 

No photo available, what the actual fuck? You flipped through the book, to the club section but there was no trace or whisper of the Hellfire Club at all in the 1984 Hawkins High yearbook. 

“This was your idea.” Steve reminded you as you pushed the book away and reached for 1983’s yearbook. 

“And? I have a lot of ideas and not all of them are good.” You flipped through the book, trying to find Eddie’s name and photo. Why hadn’t you thought of this before?

“So... are you chickening out, again?” You could hear the mild annoyance in his voice. 

“No! I’m just... I’m just nervous, alright? I haven’t been on a date since Junior year. Wait no, there was that horrible study date in Senior year. It’s been a while okay?” you groaned. 

You scanned the Ms again, stopping for a split second to snicker at Chris Morrison’s horrible yearbook photo. His hair was an unfortunate overgrown sandy haircut that looked like a bad mix of a mullet and a bowl cut, with a fringe that fell in his gray eyes. His face was stoic and he looked like he wanted to kill whoever was in charge of the camera. 

A few photos later was Eddie Munson’s Junior year photo. Somehow seeing his face in your yearbook made your shoulders relax a little bit. You at least could confirm that you had indeed gone to school with him. His face was softer looking, and his hair fell just below his jawline.You saw a peak of his Hellfire shirt, the same one in Chris’s photo. He was smiling, well as best as a teenage boy who doesn’t want to get his photo taken would smile. It was endearing, and something in the back of your mind started nagging at you that this Eddie looked more familiar. 

“Hello? Anyone home?” 

You snapped back to reality, remembering that you were on the phone with Steve. “Yeah, sorry I got distracted. What was that?” 

“I said you shouldn’t be nervous.” Steve repeated. “You like him. He likes you. It’s not that complicated. He wouldn’t have shown up that night if he didn’t have an interest in you.”

“Oh, but what if it is that complicated, Stevie?” You sighed dramatically. “After all, the three of us seem to be horribly unlucky in love.”

“You’re telling me.” Steve admitted. “Three dozen dates later and I’m still looking for that spark.” 

Steve had been head over heels for Nancy Wheeler, and had his heart crushed. You hadn’t had any luck in love ever, with only a few failed dates under your belt from high school, and two one-night stands. Robin... you couldn’t get a read on her. She seemed to have a crush on someone, and Steve definitely knew who it was but they weren’t telling you. It hurt a little, but you knew that the two had a bond that you wouldn’t be able to touch. If Robin wanted to tell you, she would. 

Okay, you did ask and make sure that the person she was crushing on wasn’t Eddie. The last thing you wanted was to date someone who your friend had feelings for. Thankfully, Robin had quickly cleared up that she didn’t even know Eddie and therefore can confidently say that she had absolutely no feelings for the guy, romantic or otherwise. 

Steve spent the next half hour calming you down and talking to you as you flipped through your high school yearbooks, picking out Eddie’s photo in each one. There was even a small blurb about the Hellfire Club in your freshman yearbook. As you delved deeper in time, his hair got shorter and shorter, and he looked more and more familiar. 

Where did you know this guy from? 

When the clock struck 11 pm, you said your goodbye to Steve, checked yourself out in the mirror one last time, and made your way to the theater. 

It was twenty minutes until show time when you parked your car and made your way into the lobby. The yellow lights illuminated the crowd of people who had shown up for the annual midnight screening, and you took a deep breath as you scanned the crowd. 

Just for tonight, you felt like you could breathe. 

Freaks and weirdos from all over had come together for a night of sex jokes, aliens, music, and yelling at a screen. The room was filled with people covered in leather, and lingerie and costumes from both the show and other media. There were a few familiar faces, and you spotted two people that you recognized from the shadow cast in the corner. They looked... upset. Not at each other, you recognized the way they were talking to each other. You and Steve and Robin had given each other the same looks before when Keith had fucked up the schedule or a customer pissed one of you off. 

Whatever was the matter, the two quickly finished their bitch session and made their way back into the theater. You wondered what that was about, but didn’t have time to think about it too hard because a hand fell on your shoulder. 

Your breath caught in your throat when you turned around to see your date. Eddie’s hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, which really showed his jawline and really long neck you wondered what the square of his jaw would feel like against your lips. He hadn’t ditched his battle vest or leather jacket you weren’t complaining and he was wearing a cropped shirt . You had to force yourself to not look at his exposed midriff you’ve never wanted to bite someone’s hips before holy shit, or note the fine trail of hair just below his belly button that dipped into his dark ripped jeans where a peak of blue boxers were peaking out. Did he taste as good as he looked?!  He had swapped out a few of his rings, but the obsidian one on his right hand stayed, and the chains on his jacket, bracelet and wallet made a noise with every movement he made. What would that sound like if he was on top of you? 

A small voice in the back of your mind told you that Dustin Henderson could rent any movie he ever wanted ever forever as long as you worked Family Video. 

You pushed those sudden X rated feelings down, and smiled up at him. “Hey, I’m glad you made it.” you managed to say, tongue tied as you thought about what you’d rather your tongue suddenly be doing- 

Eddie’s eyes drifted down your outfit in the same way that you were sure you had just looked at him. The idea that he might also be thinking similar thoughts about you made your heart race before he turned away. He was now looking around the lobby with wide eyes, taking in all the different people his expression was somewhere between elation and disbelief. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many freaks in person.” he said, his eyes darting around to the crowds of people. 

“You aren’t at Hawkins High and these aren’t children.” you said, watching his expression. “It’s why I like coming here each month. I get to meet people who are more like me.”

Eddie took in the scene, and you took in Eddie. Horny thoughts aside, you wondered how often he got to see people who weren’t cut from the standard Hawkins cookie cutter. From what he’d told you during your late night calls, his social circle was tiny. His only friends were in Hawkins, except for one Ronnie Ecker. 

You had escaped the monster that was Hawkins High School, even if you were still stuck in the beast of a town. You didn’t have much room to judge his smaller group when Steve and Robin were the only ones who you reliably hung out with on a regular basis. Even then, you knew that the two of them had a connection that went deeper than just coworkers and people who went to school together. 

Did Eddie have someone that he connected with the same way Robin and Steve did? There were so many things about him that you still wanted to know about him. 

A voice called your name, and your eyes lit up as you saw Robin and Steve walking over to the two of you. Excitement then shifted to confusion, wait, what were they doing here? Did they come here to crash your date? That didn’t seem right, not after Steve had put in so much effort into making sure that this date actually happened. 

You and Robin hugged and Steve gave a slightly awkward hello. Eddie was looking between you and your two friends, looking just as confused as you felt. 

“Hey, Robin!” you said, trying to figure out what was going on. “What are you guys doing here?”

“You invited us a month ago, remember?” Robin asked. “You made a big deal about dragging us to the Halloween showing this year and Steve and I got tickets. But don’t worry! We know this is a date so me and Steve are going to sit at the opposite side of the theater and make sure that we don’t bother you. Of course, Steve said that we shouldn’t come but we had already bought the tickets and I wanted to come and see this again.”

Oh... oh shit. Right. You had done that, hadn’t you? Before you and Steve had even started this whole thing, you had been bugging him to come see it with you. Robin had come and done it once with you earlier at the end of Summer, but Steve hadn’t been able to make it. 

In a sea of lingerie, leather, and sequins, Steve stood out like a sore thumb in his yellow sweater and tall hair. For once, he looked like the odd one out. Robin had always had a slightly edgier style, and with her sharpied black nails and chain necklaces, she fit right in. 

You were going to give Steve so much shit for it later. 

“Look, I didn’t expect us to actually come out tonight until Robin called and demanded I pick her up.” Steve said, apologetically. 

“I see what’s going on.” Eddie spoke up, looking between the three of you. “Mom and Dad are here to chaperone your first date.” 

You threw your head back and cackled at the joke, laughing unabashedly. 

“Steve’s the single mom with six kids.” Robin said. “But I’m not Dad, I’m more like the cool weird aunt.” 

“‘Why am I always the mom?!” Steve demanded. 

“Because you have six kids, Steve, keep up.” you pointed out. “But we all know Dustin’s your favorite.” 

“I’m telling Wheeler.” Eddie chimed in. 

“I’m not the mom, I’m the babysitter!” 

“You literally gave Max lunch money two weeks ago.”

“That doesn’t mean-”

“Oh look! They’re starting to tag the Virgins!” You suddenly said excitedly. 

Steve and Eddie stopped and stared at you, as your eyes darted to the two cast members that you had seen earlier. Whatever they had been bitching about was now put aside, and they were now walking around, each holding a bright red tube of lipstick. They had approached some guy and drew a giant V on their forehead. 

“Right, I didn’t really tell you about this.” you explained. “So at each showing, if you’ve never seen the movie in theaters you’re called a ‘virgin’. So, there’s a bit of a hazing ritual for newcomers. They call it the Virgin Sacrifice here. Basically, they draw a V on your forehead, and then before the show starts they’ll have the Virgins come up on stage, do some sort of dare or task, and then the movie starts.”

“How bad is it?” Steve asked as Robin grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the cast members. 

“It’s usually not that bad.” You said. “When I was a Virgin Sacrifice a few years ago they had me ‘Pledge Allegiance to the Lips’ and taught me how to do the Time Warp on stage while the sprayed me with silly string.” 

“When I went they had all of us blow up a bunch of red balloons and then hit them with thumb tacks when they were still in our mouths.” Robin laughed. “They called it ‘The Great Cherry Popping’.”

“Oh my God, I remember that one guy had crazy lung capacity and blew up like, ten in a row!” you cackled. 

“What do you think they’ll have us do?” Eddie asked, and for a second your brain froze as you felt his hand wrap around yours as you started to approach the cast members. You could feel the metal of his rings, warmed by his skin, pressing into yours. 

“They always mix it up every month so it’s hard to say.” you said. “But they always go crazy for the Virgin Sacrifices on Halloween.” 

“Got a fresh Virgin for you!” Robin says, shoving Steve in front of the Columbia actress who looked Steve up and down as if she were going to eat him. 

“Aww, a cute little Virgin just for me?!” she squealed. “You shouldn’t have! Come here, Big Boy.”

Steve didn’t have much time to react as a large V was placed on his forehead with the lipstick. He didn’t seem to mind, however, when Columbia leaned over and gave him a big kiss on the cheek, leaving a large lipstick stain. 

“You know, maybe I’m seeing the appeal of this.” He said as you pushed Eddie up next. 

“A two for one deal for ya, Columbia!” you said proudly. 

“Two?!” Her eyes lit up, and you could tell that she was having the time of her life. “Is it my birthday?!” 

She looked at Eddie and pushed his bangs back as she drew the V on his forehead and gave him a smooch on the cheek as well. You could already tell what Steve was thinking when he looked at you. Probably something like It’s not normal to let another girl kiss your date or something like that. And okay, fine, you were planning on wiping the lipstick off of Eddie’s face before you went in for the kiss tonight, but you didn’t see any reason to be jealous. You knew exactly what was going to happen tonight. Hell, when you first came you ended the night with three different lipstick marksI Really, Steve and Eddie were getting stiffed tonight. Besides, Eddie hadn’t given you any reason to not trust him, and why start anything if you didn’t trust a guy?

“His name is Eddie.” you offered up and Steve gave you another look that you translated to Are you wing manning your own date?! You ignored it. 

“What a coincidence! My boyfriend’s name is Eddie!” Columbia said excitedly. “You two even have the same leather jacket! Do you also ride a motorcycle?”

To your delight, Eddie didn’t miss a beat. “Not yet, but I might one day. Just a van for now.”

“Ohh, I bet a lot of fun happens in the back of your van.” she winked, and you could see a slight blush spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “You should come join me and my Eddie for dinner next week, we’re having Meat Loaf!” 

You and Robin burst into a fit of giggles at the joke, as Eddie and Steve made eye contact for a moment and just shrugged at each other. Columbia gave Robin a wink and sauntered off to another group with their own Virgin to sacrifice.

With your Virgins freshly marked, snacks in hand,  and the doors to the theater opening, you parted ways with Steve and Robin as they made their way to the front row and you made your way to the back with Eddie. 

“The back row has my favorite call and response.” you explained as the two of you made your way to an open pair of seats. “And there are a lot of lines that are standard with every show, but if you can think of a good one, don’t even hesitate. Just call it out, okay? I’ll also warn you when people are about to start throwing things.”

“So, this is a bad movie where we are encouraged to yell and throw things?” Eddie asked, a wide grin on his face. “And where we sit depends on what we say?”

“Yes, it’s complete chaos.” you said. “I love it. Every show is always a little different because of the audience participation. Keeps it fresh, you know? Also, if you sit in the back you won’t get popcorn on your hair.” 

“Jeff dumped a bucket of popcorn in my hair once.” Eddie said. “It took me a week to get all the kernels out.”

“How the hell did that happen?!”

“I was sitting down, he was walking over with popcorn to bribe me for some roll, and then there was popcorn and butter everywhere.”

“I take it you didn’t give him the advantage he wanted?” you giggled. 

“No, he desiccated a snack in front of the Dungeon Master. He’s lucky I didn’t kill his character off when that happened.”

“The more I hear you talk about Hellfire, the more I wish I had been able to join in school.” you sighed. “You always sound like you have so much fun.”

“You... sometimes I do run some one-shots.” Eddie said, messing with one of his rings. “I haven’t done a game for beginners in a while but I could get the others to suck it up and run one for you.”

A warmth burned in your cheeks and you smiled at him. “Really? You’d run a game for me just so I could play?”

“Oh yeah, but just so you know, your movie isn’t the only thing that has its own hazing ritual.” Eddie smiled at you. “I tend to go extra hard on new players, just to make sure that they’re really up for the challenge of being in Hellfire.” 

You can go extra hard on me. You just barely managed to keep that as an inside thought with the way he was looking at you with those intense doe eyes. You definitely didn’t miss the subtle way his eyes darted to your lips for just a split second. 

Oh, you were so going to kiss him tonight. Not yet, not right now. If you went in for the kiss now, you just knew that you wouldn’t want to stop kissing him. And as much as you wouldn’t mind that, you also really wanted to share this experience with him. 

“So, is that a Hellfire thing, or a you thing?” you asked. “Did any former Dungeon Masters have hazing rituals, or are you just that sadistic?” 

“Chris didn’t need to haze anyone, if that’s what you’re asking.” Eddie said. “Hard to haze new players if he never let anyone new play.”

“Touche.” 

“He was actually in the theater program the last semester he was with Hellfire.” Eddie said suddenly, as if he had just remembered. “He got roped into doing backstage work for the Spring play and ran Hellfire into the ground. He’d always change the schedule of when we could meet up, and then get pissed with everyone when he couldn’t keep up.”

“I heard that doing tech for the shows is always a lot of work.” you said. “But it really sucks that he got pissed.”

“He ended up fully quitting Hellfire halfway through the semester, and that’s when I took over.” Eddie explained. “I had already been running the club anyway, but that just made it more official.” 

The lights in the theater flickered on and off, signaling the start of the show. 

“They’ll probably call you up to be part of the Virgin Sacrifice.” you said. “If you want to back out, no judgment. Your hair covers your shame, so you could probably duck out”

“I’ll do it.” Eddie said. “It’s only fair, if I run a one-shot for you and refuse to go easy on you, the least I can do is get on stage for your interest.” 

Had anyone ever shown this much interest in something you cared about? Robin had come with you before, and Steve had to be dragged here but this felt different somehow. Shit, the more you talked to him, the more you were tempted to ask him to leave the theater right now and show you the back of his van. 

“You know, I really always wanted to be part of the shadow cast.” you explained. “I’d love to be on stage as Columbia or Janet, hell I’d even love to be Riff Raff.”

“You want to be on stage in your underwear once a month?” Eddie raised an eyebrow. 

“It looks fun, but they never have auditions. It’s a pretty tight community, so you really have to know someone to get in. The most I’ve been able to do is sign up for clean up duty after the show. They give you tickets to the next show if you do that.”

The house lights went down, and you waited for the stage lights to come on and for the cast to come up and introduce the show and start the Virgin Sacrifice. The idea of seeing Steve and Eddie up there made you so giddy, and you couldn’t wait to tell Eddie more about the cast. 

But the stage lights never came on. Instead the movie just went and started and soon a bright red pair of lips were on screen, singing to everyone. 

They were skipping the Virgin Sacrifice? You had been going to this show for years and they never skipped the Virgin Sacrifice. And on Halloween? What was going on?

You were disappointed, but there was no use letting it ruin your evening. You shook it off and focused on singing along and teaching Eddie the important things to shout and when. How could you be too disappointed when Eddie was having so much fun? He was a natural, and witty and was quick to pick up on the jokes. 

It helped even more that he was still holding your hand. 

But something felt off during the whole show. There were a few members of the cast that you didn’t recognize, and they were giving a less than stellar performance. Choreography was wrong, the lip syncing was off, and Janet’s bra and slip were too... sexy. You also felt the man with the long sandy hair playing Rocky would have better been suited for Riff Raff.

Whoever coordinated this show, didn’t do a very good job. You felt bad that Steve and Eddie’s first time at the show wasn’t the best, especially after you had talked it up so much. 

If Eddie noticed the lackluster performance, he didn’t say anything. Maybe you were being too nitpicky, he was having a blast after all. Eddie was cracking jokes, and his voice carried through the theater so well even the front row fuck the front row! could hear him. 

As the credits rolled, and everyone made their way out to the lobby, you met back up with Steve and Robin. 

“That movie made even less sense than when you told us about it.” Steve said and you just shrugged. 

“I never said it made sense, I just said it was fun.” 

“I wouldn’t mind coming back.” Eddie said. “I wonder if they’d consider a live band to go with the stage actors.” 

You had to stop yourself from dropping down to your knees. One knee or two, you hadn’t decided yet. 

Robin yawned and you caught a glimpse of a lipstick mark on her jaw. You made a note to ask about that later. “If I’m out any later, my parents are gonna kill me. I still have school in the morning.” 

“Alright, let’s get you home.” Steve said. “See you two around.” His eyes darted down to where your hand and Eddie’s were still clasped together before pushing Robin out of the lobby and towards the parking lot. 

You and Eddie followed behind, but didn’t head straight for your cars. The two of you moved to stand below the yellow lighting of the yellow marquis. You watched as Eddie leaned against the brick wall and lit a cigarette, blowing smoke that disappeared under the clear sky. 

Under this lighting, you had a familiar feeling. There was something in the back of your mind, like a picture that was made of the same smoke coming from between his lips. Every time you reached out and almost had it, it disappeared in an instant. Something about the way he looked right now gave you a faint memory of being nervous, but not in a bad way. 

“That might be the first time I’ve ever felt normal.” Eddie said, looking at you. “I didn’t realize how many freaks there really were in Indiana.” 

“There are freaks and weirdos everywhere, if you know where to look.” you said. Eddie pocketed his lighter and took another drag. “Most people hide it though. I’m glad you don’t.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to see someone really being themselves in this town. You’re a breath of fresh air.” you looked out at the street, watching as people got in their cars and drove out of the parking lot. You caught a glimpse of the Columbia, only catching her by her hair and make up as she rushed out of the theater towards the parking lot. “I... even if this doesn’t go anywhere, I like you.” you admitted. “I want to keep being friends.”

Eddie frowned and faced you. He had dropped your hand to light his cigarette, and you noticed his hand move towards yours before stopping and falling back to his side. 

“Is this your way of letting me down easy?” he asked, and your heart broke seeing the confusion in his big brown doe eyes. 

“No!” you said quickly. “No, not even a little. No. I want to see you again. A lot.” 

Eddie’s face relaxed and this time he did take your hand. He dropped his cigarette and snuffed out the butt with his sneaker. You took the hint and moved closer to him as well. 

“You like me?” he asked, and you liked the way his dimples showed when he smiled. 

That was the high sign. You didn’t even care that he still had a lipstick mark on his cheek, when all you could focus on were those warm brown eyes. You started to lean in, and you felt Eddie’s free hand move to your arm and up towards your shoulder. When he got close enough to count his unfairly long eyelashes, you closed your eyes-

“Eddie? Eddie Munson?”

Reality snapped back into place as you two heard a voice. You looked at Eddie’s face first, and there was an intense look in his eyes. His hand fell from your arm, while you tried to decipher what his expression meant. 

You turned around to see who he was looking at, ready to kill whoever had interrupted the moment. 

You hadn’t recognized him on stage as Rocky. The man's long sandy hair was now tied back and his overgrown fringe still fell into his gray eyes. He had filled out since high school, and he wasn’t wearing that stony scowl that had been his staple all through the years you’d seen him. 

“Chris Morrison?!”

ALSO I think I might have run out of blogs to tag? It won't let me tag anymore blogs for the tag list but you can also find this story on AO3 and sub there as well!

Next Chapter

a/n: This chapter turned out way longer than expected and I still didn't fit everything into it! I had a whole other scene planned out, but that just means I have the motivation to start on the next part!

Dividers by @strangergraphics

Tag List: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirl320 @perpetualmessmachine @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh @halialex1119 @bakugouswhOr3 @siriuslysmoking @pookiesnatcher @sky-full-0f-fl0wers @takemetoneverlandbabe @killjoynotes @maelibo @themunsonator5000 @wheels-of-despair @woodlandsubshrub @ghcstpyre @pedroschka

[loserlvrss]

face yoon jeonghan (윤정한)

authors note // this story isn't supposed to be very heavy !! something light with an eventual happy ending c: ive been sitting with this idea for literal years, so i hope its good. a full playlist will eventually be made, but kr&b is what i listened to while writing it (along with the chapter songs i link at the beginning)

chapter theme warnings // language, angst, unplanned pregnancy, implied suicidal thoughts, topics of pregnancy & babies in general

word count // 2.3k

prologue: face: songs: 1  2  3  4 

You kissed your child’s head, ruffling the short chestnut locks. Your kid’s hair was slightly different than yours—Texture wise—also lightening or darkening further in various settings. However, you only realized that because you were his mother, and it was basically your job to know everything about your son. 

There was laughter and quieted screams meeting your ears; other children and childcare workers who were playing in the background as you were just finishing dropping him off. 

“I’ll see you after work, Jae. I'll bring you the cupcake you like, okay?” 

Jae grabbed your face with soft hands, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek and then bringing you into a hug. You stood up and watched as he skipped off, joining a group who he’s expressed (with the confirmation of the childcare workers) are his best friends. 

You were always beyond proud of your son for being able to spread so much love to the world, despite not having the smoothest upbringing—or frankly, an example of unconditional love (despite yours for him). You wanted to feel proud of yourself, but knew that it was all Jae’s interpretation of the world around him. He loved everyone and everything; in the purest form, he found beauty. He was the best kid you’ve ever met, but maybe you were just biased. 

“He’s truly a beautiful kid, looks just like you.” You met eyes with the woman who worked the sign-in and out desk. “Laughs and smiles all the time; Gets along with everyone… Even the kids that people don’t seem to gravitate towards. He hates to see them left out. Good job with him, miss y/n.” 

“Thank you.” You replied, forcing a smile to surface. You couldn’t help the bittersweet feeling that left a lump in your throat. You knew exactly why it always bothered you though; he looks just like you. But nobody knew he looked almost uncanny to his father at this age. He didn’t have your eyes, nor mouth, nor cheekbones. All Jae had, in your eyes, was part of your personality and nose. 

You tried time and time again, staring at your son as he’d nap, to find what people would point-out. But you never did, and that seemed to bother you more than you’d like to admit. So, what should’ve been a compliment was always hard for you to swallow. 

“I’ll see you at five-thirty!” 

She nodded behind the desk. “He’ll be all ready for you.” 

You let the door swing behind you, a slight shake to your hands as you found your keys. It was beginning to look and feel like spring, and soon the cherry blossoms would bloom, meaning you’d have your annual outing with Jae to see them before they fell. You’d take a day off work and keep him home from preschool, taking him out for lunch and ice cream, letting him play at the nearby park after until his little heart's contempt. 

You loved that day, and you looked forward to it all year round. It was peace of mind, and there seemed like little responsibility when it was just you two enjoying life. 

The days seemed to pass slowly nowadays, and maybe that was because now that you were getting older, you were repeating the same routine like clockwork. It was a never-ending Groundhog’s Day, where you could only hope to find the escape to the time-loop. 

The car came to a stop, and you put it in park quickly after. Your head fell atop your chilled hands that gripped the steering wheel still. You let out a sigh, a breath that forever seemed to be stuck in your lungs. As you collected yourself, you also collected your purse from the passenger seat, taking your keys and clenching them tightly. 

The beep of a car locking was familiar to you as it met your ears, causing you to turn and look. Meeting your sights was the black vehicle that belonged to your coworker, as well as said person, who hadn’t noticed you yet.

“Wonwoo?” You asked, slightly confused as to why he was scheduled at the same time as you on a Monday, rather than a Friday or Wednesday; like usual, however, your shifts overlapped quite often. 

His sharp, cat-like features were on full display, glasses within his forefinger and thumb as he cleaned the lenses. He was wearing dark-washed, wide leg jeans, and a white T-shirt—One that looked as if he had bought it recently—His hair was falling effortlessly, only moving slightly with the gentle gusts of wind. 

You always thought he looked like the lead of a drama, a sought after actor that attended fashion shows and got awards, not someone who worked at a bakery, like you. 

You had started working before him, right after you had dropped out of Seoul University, 7 weeks into your pregnancy with Jae. You were a confused, hormonal, soon-to-be mother who had no one to rely on. But you always thought that Wonwoo deserved more than what he was left with, and sometimes you regretted not being that comfort for him, as he always was for you. 

He’d run to the convenience store, mid-shift, just because you kept talking about triangle kimbap or a watermelon bar. He’d cover for you when you’d get ill and run to the bathroom with a hand slapped over your face. And when your due date got closer, he’d walk you to your car just to help you get in comfortably. 

You two weren’t even far off in age, and maybe that’s why you knew deep down it was because he pitied your circumstance: Single, pregnant, and borderline suicidal. All your plans had been thrown out like trash the moment you took the test, the moment you fought with your ex, breaking up after 4 years together. 

Every single promise for a better life—A happy life—Was washed away with the rain. And even if you weren’t technically alone, you felt as if the world had shut you out. Now it’s been 4 years, and you’ve gotten used to the feeling of uncertainty. You lived for Jae, and that always should’ve been enough. However, you felt guilty for thinking of a time when he didn’t exist, when he wasn’t even a thought in the back of your mind. If you could go back in time, you were sure you wouldn’t change anything, because Jae was your lifeline, the one thing in this world that kept you going. But, the tears that streamed down your face on particularly painful nights told a different side to you, one that mirrored the 22 year old who got shattered and left to become nothing but dust. 

You couldn’t help but think that life would’ve been easier if you were prepared for it. If you had Jae when you were 26 or 27 like you had planned on. If you had finished your business degree and opened your own company with your boyfriend. Life would’ve been smooth sailing. But instead, you were left with barely enough money to keep the lights on, and many cupcakes to keep a smile on your son’s face after long shifts.        

“Are you okay?” The voice broke you from the painful thoughts that plagued your subconscious. “Y/n? Is it Jae, is he okay?” 

You nodded in an unconstant pattern, slowly moving your head up to level your eyes. Your eyebrows creased slightly, but that was only because you were having a hard time pushing your mind in the right direction.  

“Yeah, he’s fine.”

“Are you?” He approached you as you leaned against the driver’s door. “Did something happen?” 

His concern would’ve seemed out of character if you didn’t know him, but turned down lips and straight faces were only surface level. He might’ve looked cold, but you’ve never met anyone warmer. 

“Just tired, that’s all.” You replied, crossing your arms. Your bag hung against your front and you wondered the time. You weren’t running late after dropping Jae off, but even if you were, your manager for the night was standing in front of you—And, Wonwoo would never write you up. “Been thinking a lot recently… Well, we should go in and help Minjoon before she scolds us.” 

He laughed. “She is a terrifying highschooler.”  

“Scariest I've ever met.” You mimicked a shiver, pushing off the metal and awaiting Wonwoo to join you. “I can already see her glare.” 

He did promptly, holding the glass door open for you. You brushed past him, viewing the many people lined up and a seething highschool girl at the register; Whether it was because you were technically 3 minutes late or because of a customer was up for interpretation. 

You apologized silently as you made eye-contact with the girl, walking around the open corner of the front desk and to the back to put your stuff away. There were various lockers, each having a name for the employees of the bakery—Not that there were that many to begin with. 

You opened the one with your whiteboard-markered name, and put your purse on the shelf. Inside there was a picture of you and Jae as well as an old note from Minjoon that read I hope all is well, but I'm going to kill you, because you were late, much like today. However that day it was because Jae was sick and whining about everything; His babysitter had given him the flu earlier that week. 

Of course though, Wonwoo covered for you when you called in tears. And after he even brought some food to your apartment, which was across town from his own, and let you vent in your dimly-lit kitchen until way too late. He even took your shift when you caught the virus from your son sneezing in your face. 

You sighed again, shutting the door closed with the quiet bang of metal on metal. Your hand clutched where your heart would be if it wasn’t scared out of your chest. 

On the other side was Minjoon, who was leisurely propped against her own locker. “You two came in together. You’re both late… Together?” 

She eyed you as you tried to explain, “We met in the parking lot.” And even though it was the truth, she made you feel as if it wasn’t. Her arms were crossed, looking awfully like your mother would have if she was still around. “We just walked in together, don’t get the wrong idea.”

“Oh, why would I?” She voiced, nose turned to the ceiling. “It definitely wouldn’t be because you two are always together, and Wonwoo would do literally anything for you. No, that would be ridiculous to think.” You deadpanned, knowing it was true, but a misunderstanding. You didn’t like Wonwoo, you don’t see how you could, considering your situation. “If I didn’t know you two I would think Jae was his.” 

Your heart sank, and maybe it was the insinuation of people making assumptions that hurt you. Did Jae need a father to be valid in other people’s eyes? That’s probably not what she meant, but nonetheless it’s where your head went. 

“It’s not a bad thing, but if you two start dating, please don’t let me catch you guys making out in here. I’d have to bill you for therapy, and then quit.”

You mimicked her lean. “God forbid you don’t have any money to buy albums. What would you do without your Jungkook photocards?” 

“Die.” She replied simply. “I’d die.”  

Before you had a chance to call her dramatic, Wonwoo popped through the door.

“Could you guys help me? It’s about to be time for our morning rush.” 

You jumped off the locker, hustling out the door to assist your manager with the heaps of business men and women on their commute to work, or influencers looking for a pretty picture. You rarely had the in between, but sometimes on a blue moon, you’d get the random straggler who just wanted a sweet treat. 

“I rest my case!” You heard being shouted as you let the door close behind you. “It would just be a crazy thought, wouldn’t it!” 

You met his side, taking the filled cup from his hand and putting a lid on it. “Sorry.” You took over the last of the three drinks, thankful it was simply just a black coffee. 

“Gonna have to start writing you up for being so distracting, y/n.” He joked, grabbing a croissant and placing it within a brown wax bag. You smiled apologetically. “I’ll go do the register.”

“Are you sure? I could get Minjoon to do it again.”

You nodded, placing a comforting hand against his arm. “No, it’s okay. I’ll do it, it’ll distract me from my thoughts.” 

Wonwoo reluctantly agreed, because he may technically be your boss but you rarely listened to him, and he knew it was no use arguing if it was only going to lead to you doing it anyway. You appreciated his sentiment, and his eagerness to make sure you were comfortable, however it was almost always at his or someone else’s expense.

You were an adult—A big girl—Who should be able to handle a little bit of stress. But maybe Wonwoo knew you were just a ticking time-bomb, awaiting that last second before you exploded. He seemingly knew you well enough after four years.  Everything might’ve been getting a little too much recently, and yes, maybe you felt lost sometimes, but you, in reality, had no will to give up. Not when it was Jae at risk—He already didn’t have a father, why would you leave him motherless as well? He was just as big a priority to you a little over 4 years ago, as he is today. You’d sacrifice everything for your child. And, truthfully, you didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

all rights reserved copyright © loserlvrss 2024

tag list: @yyangj3lly | send an ask to be added! masterlist next part

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Jan 22nd

~*~

1. Hiiii!!!!!

This is for ITMF,

Like de aged tropes with little lan zhan or little Wei Ying being cuteeee with each other <3

Thanks a lot for all the hard work 💯

Hope you have a great new year ahead filled with love and happiness☺️☺️☺️ @ffaddictsrn

❤️ grow by cafecliche (T, 14k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Character Study, Post-Canon)

no time for crying by Narci (T, 10k, WangXian, Wwx protection squad, Age Regression/De-Aging, Kid!WWX, kid!lsz, night hunt gone absolutely right, (lowkey golden core fix it), Fluff, Angst and Feels, Humor, Juniors)

i carry your heart with me by lulu_kitty (G, 12k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Fluff and Angst, some knives but honestly this is mostly fluff, possessive littol a-zhan, wei ying may ONLY give attention to a-zhan, no one else it's the rule)

A Little Happiness by Suspicious_Popsicle (M, 20k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Age Regression/De-Aging, if you're looking at that last tag + the rating don't worry, the rating is only for the very end)

~*~

2. Hi, do you have any fics that include or are entirety lan zhan pov? @chellsky

wide enough and wild by impossibletruths (E, 64k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Canonical Accidental Baby Acquisition, Families of Choice, References to Depression, Happy Ending, I Swear To God I’m Giving Them A Happy Ending, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Well Except WN But He Was Already Dead So, Fix-It of Sorts)

Obedient and Bellicose by thunderwear (T, 20k, Wangxian, Ella Enchanted AU, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, cursed LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good brother LXC, LQR loves his nephews you cant change my mind, LWJ crying, Protective LXC, Pining, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Brief Depictions of Violence, meaning at least one of the people you really want to get stabbed does in fact get stabbed)

A Matter of Time by mrcformoso (E, 41k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It, POV LWJ, POV JC, Dark LWJ, LWJ goes crazy, Manipulation, Grooming, Except LWJ & WWX are physically the same age, but LWJ kept his 30 year old mind, Wangxian Get a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Except problematic please read warning in first chapter, Blood and Violence, Insane LWJ, Manic LWJ, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Conditioning, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Anal Fingering, WWX is a Lán, Minor Character Death, Golden Core Reveal, Good Friend NHS, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Abusive Jiang Family, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, POV NHS, Dark NHS, Anal Sex, Marathon Sex, Dual Cultivation, Horny Wangxian, QHJ Lives, LWJ Has a Big Dick, Self-Lubrication, WWX Self-Lubricates, Qíshān Wēn Indoctrination, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Sunshot Campaign, Not Lánlíng Jīn Sect Friendly, Scheming NHS, Manipulative NHS, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX, BAMF NHS, Burial Mounds Lore, Sentient Burial Mounds, Married Wangxian, Implied Mpreg, Adopted LSZ, Breathplay, Dark WWX, Yandere LWJ)

🔒 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide)

🔒 no new age by everythingispoetry (M, 146k, wangxian, LSZ & LWJ, LXC/JGY, LXC/NMJ, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Recovery, Disability, Parenthood, Character Study, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, Growing Up, Family Dynamics, Self-Discovery, Mental Health Issues, Grief/Mourning, Families of Choice, Developing Relationship)

the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Canon)

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes)

body and soul by TooSel (E, 41k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Marriage Proposal, Everyone Lives AU, Cultivation Sect Politics, Yílíng Wèi Sect AU, Adoption, Smut, Friends to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🧡🔒Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 151k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP) It includes large sections of Lan Wangji's perspective and POV. But the story is mostly from WWX's POV.

🧡🔒 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 53k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 91k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)

🔒 Under the Fireworks by handwritten (onefromanotherworld) (G, 1k, wangxian, Fluff, Supportive WWX, Near Future)

In Imitation of Life by travelingneuritis (E, 70k, wangxian, modern cultivation, scifi au, android WWX, tone: neon seedy, rich people are bored and terrible, post-apocalyptoc landscape, happy ending, smut, severe major characger injury, time loss)

~*~

3. i just saw a meme where it went;

MDZS: 📚

vs

MDZS if LWJ cried when WWX refused to come to Gusu with him: 📘

(if that makes sense)

sooo, is there any fics where LWJ starts crying and WWX just panics and yknow, canon divergence thing happens 🥺🫠

~*~

4. IITMF some smut where the POV character tops. bonus points for bottomji and minimal kink, but I'm up for basically whatever.

~*~

5. fics that highlight how everyone is enamoured by wwx's beauty/ yllz wwx's beauty+ wwx protection squad. @sonomaying

~*~

6. Hello hello hello! In the mood for fics where Wei Ying or Lan Zhan have unusual professions? Or rather, professions which don’t commonly crop up in fic? Things like jewelers, mechanics, janitors, landscapers, authors, air host, etc. Avoiding more common fic jobs like police, coffee shop, florist, teacher, generic office worker, etc. Thanks!

Family Pictures (Or: “Mark Rothko is very, very dead, Wei Ying.”) by belleweather (M, 37k, wangxian, modern, Kid Fic, Post Mpreg, Cindarella Story, Mistaken Identity, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, art conservator lwj, fake/mistaken cheating, no actual infidelity)

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern AU with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar)

🔒paired wings soaring by typefortydeductions (E, 33k, WangXian, Modern, slice of life, domestic bliss, angst, fluff, smut, hurt/Comfort, kissing, bdsm, artist WWX, poetry translator LWJ, slight somnophilia) artist wwx, poetry translator lwj

Themes and Variations in F# Major by defractum (nyargles) (E, 18k, WangXian, Modern AU, Classical Music, Getting Together, POV Alternating, Long-Distance Friendship) lwj and wwx are both professional musicians

Covered in Bees by ScarlettStorm (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Beekeeping AU, For reasons, Meet-Cute, Comedy, Fluff, Bees, come for the flirting, stay for the bee facts, and the bee puns, kinkmeme fill, no actual kink) featuring beekeeper LWJ!

he gets under your skin by Skadiseven (M, 87k, WangXian, Inspired By While You Were Sleeping (1995), Modern AU, Accidental Engagement, Chicago (City), wangxian's tendency to self-sacrifice, Christmas, Mutual Pining, There's A LOT of Musical References, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending) Wei Ying works in ticket booth for Chicago's L but is a former writer while Lan Zhan is a doctor.

hurry down my chimney tonight by gusuvibes (G, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, dad!lwj, WWX and JC are Santa's Elves, Holiday Setting, A-Yuan is too smart for his own good, Fluff and Humor, NHS is a pimp, but not literally, Happy Ending, Surprise Santas, Christmas) features jeweller Lan Zhan while Wei Ying is a photographer working as an elf for the holidays.

Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Dance, Strictly Come Dancing Fusion, Ballroom Dancing, Dancer!WWX, Violinist LWJ, Pining While Dancing, Oblivious WWX, Gratuitous Costume Descriptions, Gratuitous dancing descriptions, Slow Burn, [Podfic] Falling to the Rhythm by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona)) features Wei Ying as a professional dancer on the show Strictly Come Dancing while Lan Zhan is a professional violinist.

Waiting for Spring by thievinghippo (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, MLB AU, Baseball AU, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, slight angst, Happy Ending) has both Wei Ying and Lan Zhan as professional baseball players (WY is pitcher while LZ is catcher)

The Quiet Room by trickybonmot (M, 39k, WangXian, Modern AU, 1990s, Goth LWJ, Cellist LWJ, College Student WWX, House Hunting, Dating, Clubbing, San Francisco, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Academic Disaster Aftermath, Getting Together, Repressed Teen Crushes to Strangers to Lovers, Homelessness, in the form of couch surfing, background NieLan) features DJ Lan Zhan!

Heat It Up! with Wei Ying by justpeace (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, coworkers to dating, Getting Together, Chinese Food, racism that largely happens offscreen, workplace racism, toxic workplace environment, Workplace Relationship, food as a metaphor for racism, Humor, Happy Ending, Angst and Humor, food as a metaphor for flirting, References to Drugs, Alcohol, Asian-American Character) chef wei ying / has Wangxian as test kitchen chefs (cooks?)

grave goods by luckymarrow (E, 28k, wangxian, Grief/Mourning, Minor Character Death, Modern AU, mortician!wwx, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Marriage Proposal, abrupt tonal shifts, Tragicomedy, Comedy, Romance, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Adoption, Implied/Referenced Abuse, for lan parents, it's not described and is all backstory, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Married WangXian, brief daddy kink, the barest hint of consensual non-consent, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, BDSM) has WWX as a mortician, LWJ as an attorney (mind the tags)

🧡 Night of the Living History (an edutainment special!) by Aerlalaith (T, 51k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Workplace Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Museums, living history, Some Plot, Slice of Life, Injury, a minor haunting) has them as employees at a living history cultivation museum

live from new york by varnes (E, 87k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, This is a SNL AU, however the juniors are featured and there are lots of shenanigans!, slow burn, friends to lovers, pining, getting together, happy ending)

💖 Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 73k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, art conservation, museums, pining, not actually unrequited love, angst w/ happy ending, misunderstandings, smut, major character injury, hospitalization, hurt/comfort, past incarceration, forgery)

Somewhere I Belong by athena_crikey (E, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, First Time, Environmentalism, Nature, pilot WWX, scientist LWJ, ode to canadian north) Wei ying is a bush pilot and lan zhan is a chemical tester

Let the streetlights guide you homeby tellthemstories (M, 37k, wangxian, modern, UST, car racing, Mojo’s bookmark) and associated podfic. The boys are illegal street racers

~*~

7. Itmf: Hello all! Does anyone know of any fics where Sizhui is angry with the cultivation world for killing his birth family? Especially if he points out to the Lans, his adopted family, how they took part in the siege that killed his birth family.

Symmetry by Vir_Abelasan (M, 13k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, One-Sided ChengXian, One-Sided ChengZhui, Canon Divergence, LSZ is raised by wwx, Wwx still dies sorry, Revenge, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dark LSZ, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Torture, Not JC Friendly, JC’s Canonical 13 Years Murder Spree, BAMF LSZ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LSZ Gets to Go Apeshit)

Finding Balance series by Zombubble (T, 117k, JL & LSZ, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, JL & LSZ & LJY, LXC & LSZ, LSZ & LJY, wangxian, Character Study, Canon Compliant, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Death, Grief, LSZ goes home to yiling and has emotions about it, Nightmares, angst with a hopeful but still kind of painful ending, Canon-Typical Violence, within a nightmare, injuries, Blood, LSZ has so much shit to work through, he'll be okay he's just riding the struggle bus, Yelling, argument, Conflict, Underage Drinking, slightly uncomfortable dinners, lets be real, they're in yunmeng, JC is there, LSZ is very aware of who he is, WWX is also there, this is not a formula for fluff, Light Angst, Happy Ending, JJC Being an Asshole, but not too bad, Anxiety, Grief/Mourning, Self-Reflection, Conflict Resolution, Internal Conflict, lots of talking, Lots of Thinking, LSZ-centric, Soft LQR, Collective Bargaining, LSZ accidentally incites a mini off-screen rebellion, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, mild panic attack)

💖 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, post-canon, LXC critical, family feels, angry LWJ & LSZ, LXC gets scolded)

history by tongzhi (T, 15k, Background WangXian, LSZ-Centric, Post-Canon, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Character Study)

this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Post-Canon, POV LXC)

~*~

8. Hello! I was scrolling on ur page and saw the latest fic finder 7. its sounds interesting, it already has 2 fics under that ask so i came here for the next ITMF, is there any fic similar to that? wwx or lwj being teacher and married to eo, juniors being their students. Thank you in advance!

Due Process by Kytrin, Mslead (E, 279k, WangXian, XiChengSang, Poly Junior Quartet, Modern AU, Foxxian, dragonji, Genderfluid WWX, WWX identifies as male, Organized Crime, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of child abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Reincarnation) kinda? WX get together pretty quickly in the fic, and the Juniors are WWX's students

~*~

9. Hello! For the next ITMF i was wondering if there’s any wlw wangxian where LWJ is characterized as a butch lesbian, thank you!!

an inch away from more (than just friends) by occultings (microcomets) (E, 15k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Rule 63, Femslash, Lesbian Sex, Genderbending, Pining while fucking, sexuality exploration, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Friends to Lovers, Masturbation, Kissing, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Getting Together, Swim Team, Diving, Pool Sex, Outdoor Sex, Jealousy)

Are you gonna be my girl by 74243 (E, 14k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Established Relationship, Forced Feminization, Sadism, Dom/sub, Slut Shaming, Internalized Misogyny.... but like.... Make It Sexy, Humiliation, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Painplay, Cock Warming, Genderplay, Vague sugardaddy LWJ vibes) this author actually writes a lot of butch lab zhan actually

sideways by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 20k, wangxian, F/F, Modern, Cisswap, butch dyke LWJ, Casual Sex, not so casual sex, many many orgasms, Fingerfucking, Cunnilingus, strap-on sex, So much kissing, WWX gets rekt, straight girl WWX, except for how she isn't)

here is the tag for butch lan zhan

~*~

10. For the next itmf I’m looking for wangxian centric heavy angst preferably with happy ending but it’s not a requirement. I will take canon, au, arranged marriages, anything that brings sweet suffering @kanrax-blog

Common love isn't for us by feyburner (M, 7k, WangXian, Modern AU, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Making Out, Misunderstandings, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) this is a short modern AU but it almost always makes me tear up

🔒Salt to the Sea by Starmins (M, 31k, wangxian, JYL & WWX, modern, grief/mourning, roadtrips, canonical character death, love & loss)

134340 by silverclaw (M, 18k, WangXian, Space, Space Opera, Heavy Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Closure, Parallel Universes, Coco the robot, LWJ accidentally adopting creatures as he goes, LWJ also has a nose ring, The following are SPOILER tags, there are two lwjs and one of them dies, wwx mourning lwj, Hopeful Ending, in terms of closure and healing, parallel!lwj and wwx form a bond, mentions of captivity, dystopian themes)

Orchid Teeth by FairyGardenCorgis (E, 97k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Romance, dragon lwj, fox wwx, Chinese lore, Hurt/Comfort, Dark elements, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sexual Abuse, Starvation, Torture, Sexual Humiliation, Lesbian Sex, Sounding, kinda omorashi in chapter 16, proceed with caution guys, Gang Rape)

here comes your ghost again by yuer (vintageblueskies) (T, 4k, wangxian, WQ & WWX, post-canon, nightmares, embroidery, angst)

to remember names of plants series by detention_notes (T, 8k, wangxian, diary/journal, character study, angst, parenthood, pining, anger & fear, found family, grief/mourning, reminiscing, yearning, canonical character death)

Holding onto what remains of my life (it's slipping through my fingers) by Indrel (M, 3k, WangXian, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Child Death, Miscarriage, Mpreg, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Hurt WWX, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, First Siege of the Burial Mounds, Blood) very heavy angst with an open ending, mind the tags

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

11. Ok folks! I'm in the mood for: your favorite NEWER (as is posted within the last year or so) fics where one or both of Wangxian say fuck gender. Any other details don't particularly matter, I just want some good ol' gender shenanigans

Keeping secrets by Winxhelina (T, 8k, wangxian, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Curses, Angst and Humor, CrossdressingLove Confessions, Kissing)

~*~

12. Hi! For ITMF, is there a time travel fic where WWX raised young him or become young WWX's brother? Or WWX become Wei Cangze's brother/cousin/parent? Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

In Another Life by SingingInTheRaiin (M, 21k, wangxian, time travel)

so when you go wherever it is you will go, take the moon with you by comforting_monachopsis (T, 121k, WWX & WWX, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, past WWX/SS, past WWX/XY, canon divergence, time travel, dimension travel, modern, private investigator WWX, professor LWJ, trauma, serial killers, strangers to lovers, BAMF WWX, hurt WWX, WIP) this is a very liberal interpretation of what you asked for

MingYu by Fino_Al_Cielo (T, 89k, WWX & LWJ, YL WWX, yunmeng siblings, Fix-It of Sorts, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, PTSD, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Trauma)

~*~

13. Hello! I am here with another ask.

I would like to read fics in which Lan Wangji straight up takes wwx to Gusu after his denial.

The scene goes like " Come back to Gusu with me"

" I refuse"

*straight up carries and takes back to Gusu*

Thank you @lostsoul234

~*~

14. hello long time no request! im itmf a-yuan inheriting suibian. thank you for your hard work always ♥️

it's a long road but we're not alone by Stratisphyre (M, 61k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, Parenthood, Grief/Mourning, Family Feels, Reunions, Golden Core Reveal, Background SL/XXC, Getting Together)

❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst, [Podfic] kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by contributor-sky (deepestbluesky), esbielle was also here (esbielle), glittercracker, GodOfLaundryBaskets, jellyfishfire, kisahawklin, Koontyme, Rionaa, semperfiona))

Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (T, 66k, WangXian, XuanLi, SongXiao, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence) Its only mentioned not the focus of the story

hereditary series by yutro (G, 1k, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX, JC & LSZ, wangxian, Found Family, WWX adopting LSZ, Or the other way around, childproofing a sword, JL is there but it's not about him, WWX is still dead, LWJ is not here but his presence is felt, no i don't know why suibian has not sealed itself don't ask me)

~*~

15. ITMF WangXian fuck or die and/or sex pollen fics? Particularly ones where they are in a tense situation, like on a night hunt or maybe during the SSC. Oh! And prior to them confessing. So like, they are forced to woohoo before they know the other likes them too. Thank you!

Give You What You Like by Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle)(E, 11k, WangXian, Fuck Or Die, Bad Guys Made Them Do It, Canon Divergence, angst with an eventual happy ending, First Time, Episode Related)

~*~

16. Hi!! This is my first time sending a ITMF...Sorry if I do it wrong...

I just read fic 'All was well when you were still with me' by KoHITTSujiChan and the situation where Wangji was the one who punch Zixuan at CR is so hot..

Are they any fic where Wangji punch Zixuan because a)he want to protect Yanli or b)the idea of Wei Ying married anyone else make him angry

Thank you in advance... @chibiizzy

~*~

17. ITMF a fic where the swords turn into Humans for some reason or maybe they just have a human form? Maybe some musing on wwx and the golden core but it’s not a must @zerokogane

🔒We’ll Build This House on Stone (Altars) by FluffyHippogriff (E, 264k, wangxian, angst w happy ending, romance, supernatural elements, friendship, old god LWJ, YLLZ WWX, hijinks & shenanigans, canonical character death, nonbinary character, nonbinary bichen, WIP) contains Bichen who can take human form.

🔒Intervention of Spirits by Vrishchika (T, 4k, WangXian, Pre-Relationship, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has a New Golden Core) several of the swords have human(like) forms

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[alittlebitofsainz]

a place in this world (carlos’ version)

chapter 4: electric touch

summary: you’ve spent your entire career at mclaren, are you really willing to risk it all at a new team for carlos? or would it be safer, easier, to stay at the team that you’ve called home for so long? besides, daniel seems excited about your partnership next year, maybe taking a chance on a stranger could prove more interesting than you imagined…

pairing: carlos sainz x f!reader or daniel ricciardo x f!reader, depending on what your choices are

warnings: none other than swearing

masterlist | chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4

8th november, 2020

alexa, play deja vu by beyoncé (featuring jay-z) on spotify.

another rainy morning in the UK, another trip west round the m25, another accident at potters bar, another driver texting you from an unknown number. more questions going round in your head, why did lando even have your number? and you were ten minutes late again, what was this, fucking groundhog day? you sat and read the text over and over in the car, a smile forming on your lips as you realised you’d gotten a text from the daniel ricciardo. the same daniel ricciardo you’d been watching in formula one since you were a teenager. crazy how life works out sometimes.

a notification pinged through at the top of your phone as you read daniel’s message through for the sixth time, and you frowned, head snapping up to look out your drivers window, immediately spotting carlos in the car next to you. you were sure that spot had been empty when you’d pulled up; he must have only just arrived. you flashed him a grin, shoving your phone into your bag, before shaking your head and mouthing ‘nothing’ at carlos in reply to his question.

you’d been walking in to the factory together recently, whenever you’d arrived around the same time. it was a good chance to catch up on any work related things, or potentially non work related things (the kick off of the FA cup was the chosen topic for most mornings this week). but this morning, you had an unexpected third member join the walk in.

“hey guys, wait up!��

both your heads turned at the familiar australian accent, his trademark grin adorning his face and his curls blowing slightly out of place in the breeze. he had his arm raised in a wave. you waved back. carlos didn’t.

“hey, daniel!” you greeted him as he jogged down the gravel path of the mclaren technology centre to catch up with the pair of you.

“hey, y/n! did you get my text?” daniel asked. carlos shot you a glance, but you elected to ignore it.

“yeah, sorry I didn’t get a chance to respond - I was driving and I’ve literally just rocked up.”

daniel fell into step in between you and carlos, his smile still as wide as when he’d first spotted you. you could’ve been imagining it, but you felt as if carlos picked up his pace just a little bit, leaving you and daniel lagging slightly behind.

“ah, yeah, no, no worries. I was starting to wonder whether lando had given me the wrong number as a joke or something.” daniel explained.

“I didn’t know lando had your number.” carlos muttered from several paces in front of you. what had gotten into him today? just a few moments ago you were laughing and joking together - it was almost as if his mood had completely changed when daniel arrived. was he… jealous? you scoffed internally at the thought.

“neither did I!” you replied, trying to keep the tone light, shooting a grin at daniel, who hadn’t seemed to have picked up on any tension whatsoever, mirroring your wide smile.

“well, I thought I ought to get to know my race engineer for next year. from what I’ve heard, I’m lucky to have her, ey?” daniel said as you continued towards the factory entrance. 

if carlos had realised daniel’s words were directed at him, he gave no indication that he’d even heard them. instead, he just walked that little bit faster.

carlos begrudgingly sat down opposite her.

“stop looking around. daniel’s in a meeting, he’s not gonna come and crash our lunch.”

carlos sighed, turning his head back round to face her. she could read him like a fucking book by now.

“I’m sorry, it’s just-“ he stopped himself, taking a mouthful of lasagne before looking back up at her. her eyes were trained on him, ready to listen.

“it’s just that, well, it’s hard, you know?” he swallowed his mouthful of lasange and continued, “I don’t like the idea of you being someone else’s engineer next year. it’s like… like someone’s stealing my best friend.”

to his surprise, she reached an arm out across the table, covering his hand with her own. her eyes were full of sincerity.

“carlos, whatever happens, you’re not losing me. we’ll still be friends.”

her touch felt like electricity, sparks jolting through her fingertips and firing a million neurones in carlos’ brain. ‘we’ll still be friends’. just friends my ass - shut up lando! in that moment there were so many things he wanted to talk about with her, he just wished they weren’t in the very public space of the mclaren technology centre cafeteria. he wanted to make sure they were on the same page, heck, whether they were even on the same chapter in the same book. but at that moment his phone rang. mattia binotto is calling. something told carlos that this moment could change everything.

“sorry, I have to take this.”

JOIN CARLOS AT FERRARI

STAY AT MCLAREN WITH DANIEL

taglist: @itsjustkhaos @bicchaan @luvvtrent

comment/message if you want to be added!

[wrencatte]

In honor of Jason's birthday, here is a list of fics:

bad news, this place is magic as fuck 🔒

word count: 28,098 - chapters: 3/3 - (standalone)

Jason's on the trail of a killer who's targeting kids in Crime Alley for an unknown magical ritual. Between that and his family who insists on butting in, he's got his work cut out for him. But, as they say, nothing is as it seems.

Featuring: All-Caste Jason, Magic!Jason, Batfamily without Batman getting involved, blood and violence, hurt/comfort, whump

dead men tell no tales 🔒

word count: 15,104 - chapters: 1/1 - (series)

Jason died. But then he came back.

This keeps happening.

(Not a groundhog day loop, but something slightly worse.)

Featuring: immortal but can still die!Jason, Batfamily (including Batman), magic!Jason, suicide, hurt/comfort, whump, a lot of death, blood and violence

when my cage is by the window (I can see the sun) 🔒

word count: 7,625 - chapters 1/1 - (series)

When he was seven, Damian finally escaped the League of Assassins - but not without his brother sacrificing himself to give him time. Now, six years later, he's Robin and Tim's been captured by Ra's in his latest plot. The family goes to Nanda Parbat to rescue him only to run into a revelation that might just break them.

Featuring: loa!Jason, Damian and jason are brothers, tim and Damian are brothers, whump, blood and violence, Batfamily

library card 🔒

word count: 20,745 - chapters 1/1 - (standalone)

Jason Todd, Red Hood, and the Park Row Public Library (and her librarians).

Featuring: outsider pov, book ends, Robin and red Hood!Jason, hurt/comfort, fear toxin, character study-ish, batfam

red tags 🔒

word count: 11,333 - chapters 1/1 - (standalone)

Red Hood looks out for Crime Alley. Crime Alley looks out for Red Hood.

(A collection of snapshots.)

Featuring: community, Jason is good with kids, hurt/comfort, outsider pov, Batfamily

Click here for more Jason-centric fics!

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

𝑻𝒐 𝑫𝒊𝒆 𝑭𝒐𝒓 - hyunjin x reader x felix au fanfic

CHAPTER 2

3 - It's not living if it's not with you

Your thumb skims a cross his smooth cheek, barely brushing the faded mole underneath his eye. Everything and nothing at all swirling in circles in your head as you absentmindedly touch his face, not a distinct, single thought behind your eyes, the look in them distant, vague.

Hyunjin sits patiently and stares at you, he lets you run your fingers over his bushy eyebrows and the plump outline of his lips, sighs ever so softly when the tip of your nail edges down his throat and loops around his thin silver necklace. He knows you love touching him like this, absentmindedly, aimlessly, a mute request for comfort, for something familiar and reassuring to feel beneath your pads so you can escape your head and ground yourself.

"What did you do today?", he asks after a little while, nudging the side of your knee with his own, you shrug, little to no recollection of the day's events for there are none. All of your days kind of blur into one, it's been like this for a while now. The same routine repeats itself over and over again in a in infinite, grey loop.

It's like Hyunjin died and all the colors in the spectrum of the rainbow died with him, skies turning slate gray, water turning to mud, trees shedding their green leaves no matter the season as if all life and color had been drained out all at once.

"Went to work. Got home. Showered. Ordered pizza. Doomscrolled. Went to bed", you list out your activities for the day, for any other day you weren't ending having sex with Felix.

Hyunjin plops his hands down in his lap with a smack, growing frustrated with your flat monotone and the way you seem completely unphased. "So you just waited out another day, no-wasted another day, just so you could go to bed and conjure me up like this? Aren't you tired, y/n? Aren't you tired of reliving groundhog day every single day?".

Shoulders coming down in a slump, you tut. You are tired. Energy depleted. Even if you have realistically been doing nothing at all. For the past 2 years it seems. Funny how living in a bubble of nothingness can feel so exhausting all the same." Yeah.. I am, I guess. But it's alright. Don't really want to pick a fight right now", you reply non commitedly, dropping your stare to the illusion of the white ground beneath your feet.

Hyunjin growls, a guttural sound rolling in his throat as he stands up and flails his arms out theatrically, "I WANT you to pick a fight with me! Fuck, if it means I'll get a reaction that's more than a shrug then fucking fight me! Cuss me out, I don't care! your life is fucking boring and you're just letting it be, what the hell happened to you? You are the shell of who you used to be! And the worst thing about it is that you seem completely fine with it. Deaf, empty. Flat. You're letting your life pass you by and you don't give a damn".

The white emptiness all around you echoes with the thunder in his voice. You've never seen Hyunjin this upset before, it startles you, the intensity in his gaze strinkingly disproportionate to the usual gentleness in his orbs. "What the fuck are you on about now? You died, Hyun. You fucking died. And yeah, you're right. I don't give a damn anymore, I haven't been for the past two years because what's the fucking point?", you snap, a surge of visceral annoyance bubbling up within you.

"The point is exactly that! Only one of us is dead but you're the one acting like you're not living", he shouts.

Nausea rises up to your throat, your stomach heaving. You stare at Hyunjin balling up his hands into fists, the fiery passion burning behind his eyes so strong he almost looks intimidating, "you are throwing your life away, y/n. I can't fucking stand it, I can't. It's like watching a flower wilting and wilting in a draught and not being able to give it a single drop of water, it's infuriating".

-"I lost everything, I don't have a family anymore, don't have a home anymore, I don't have you or any of our friends, I don't have a fucking heartbeat anymore and I can't watch a sunset and I can't sketch your face and I can't pet my dog, I can't do fucking anything but wait for you up here, watch you ghost your way through your days, watch you as you fuck my friend here and there and then curl yourself up in a ball in bed until you dream me up again in this weird fucking limbo and I can't, I fucking can't".

Angry, yet silent tears are rolling down Hyunjin's cheeks, he swats them away and nervously rake through his hair. You blink at him, wishing you could let your own tears flow, but none come out. None ever will. You had used them all up on the day you found out he had died.

Never in your whole life up until that point you had cried so much, so copiously, your eyes were so swollen and stingy and red you had to visit the ER and get some eye drops and absolute rest in your pitch black room, curtains drawn, blocking out the sun that never properly shone on you from that day on. Your body had not been able to produce any more tears from that day on, both physically and mentally, you had shut down completely. There was no prickling, no pressure urging behind your eyelids, no emotional turmoil big enough to trigger any voluntary or involuntary instinct to cry.

"I am not living, Hyunjin. I am merely surviving, I'm only just investing enough energy so I can get myself through another day. I'm sorry you cannot live vicariously through me cause my existence turned a little too dull for you", you confess plainly, as if you had not just admitted to the most miserable truth residing in your heart.

You only cared about being awake enough to reach the end of the day, just so you could see him again, hear his voice, touch his face, feel some semblance of belonging, pretending your relationship never had to be cut off so abruptly, the love of your life plucked away from the world so carelessly, like a flower ripped from the grass it was flourishing in.

You and him were in no way perfect, neither was your relationship. Loving him was red, and purple and blue. Fiery, intense, but delicate and sweet. You fought, not a lot but you fought. And some of the fights were turbulent, they lead them to you refusing to speak to each other for a few days at a time, the vicious silent treatment generating all the more incomprehension in turn, which usually then lead to more arguing but to some very intense make up sex too.

And deep talks. Endless deep talks. All of your inner colors and shades, all the good the bad and the ugly coming out in hushed tones underneath the moonlight, steaming cups of tea burning the reddened skin on the palm of your hands. McDonald's runs at three in the morning. I love yous shouted out of anger and frustration, giggles, his way of peeling apart your layers, making you feel seen with every turn of a leaf.

Hyunjin chokes, a sob like pained whine in his throat, he cups your cheeks, squeezing a little too tight, but you don't protest. He shuts his eyes and keeps them close for a sec, he kisses your lips, his mouth lingering on yours as he dares not raise his voice above a whisper, his breath coming out short: "I love you, fuck I love you, y/n. I don't want you to live so I can live through you, I don't want you to die for me, every single day, either, like you've been doing so far", "do you want me to live for you?".

The question tumbles out of your mouth like it's second nature, like saying please and thank you and hello. If you could bury a body for him, slice off your arm and feed to him, if it meant bringing him back to the real world, you could live for him too. If he just asked.

"I want you to live. For yourself. For love, for happiness. I want you to live because the world has not ended just because my life did...", he trails off, soft whispers hitting your skin as his lips trace your cupid bow, "I need you to live, y/n. And I need you to start living again soon, I need you to live again and laugh again and love again, I need you... I need you to feel alive because I need to die. I really, really need to die".

A wall of bricks crumbles down on your head, splitting in chunks upon impact. Or at least that's what it feels like. You look at him incredulously, any primitive form of words dying in your throat as you stare at him.

He sighs, heavily, like it's hurting him to do so: "I don't know how any of this works. No clue. But I know I'm not meant to stay here, in this limbo of sorts. Not for this long. These past two years might have felt like a blink to you, but to me the dragged out infinitely. I am losing my... human-ness, if that's a thing. I can't feel you anymore, not as much as I used to when we first started meeting up here". Hyunjin brushes away the hair on the crown of your head, nimble long finger through your strands, eyes squinting as he makes a pained face.

"My lips don't feel the same, they cannot perceive how soft your skin is, my hearing is getting weaker, my eyes don't work as well as they used to before. My limbs... The feel so heavy, y/n. I drag my entire body weight on these legs, and it's so hard. I am becoming numb, and weak. I am slowly disappearing, my love. And I don't know why or how, but if I don't pass over properly, if I don't get to finally rest, I never will."-

-"My soul will pulverize along with this body. I need to leave, to reach my final stage, whatever that may be. I might just forever rest or reincarnate, anything. I'm not meant to stay here forever. I have to leave. But I can't do that, I can't leave you until I know you're okay. My life will have been worthless if I don't get to see you appropriating you life again, do you understand? I will have lived and died for nothing, if you don't move on".

Oxygen stuck in your airways, you gasp, the torpidity in your body and your mind slithering away like suds in the drizzle of water, panic seizing your senses, "you're leaving?", you murmur, and he grimaces, nodding slowly, "I don't think I have more than a year left. It's hard to explain, to give it a time line, a deadline too... It's like a silent ticking time bomb within me, and it's eating me from the inside, making my form feel less and less... Human. I know it's going to go off sometime soon, I can hold it back only for so long", he tries to explain, elaborating his thoughts with so much strain in his voice he sounds like he's scraping the base of his heart to claw at some courage.

Trying to desperately make sense feels like a regurgitation of what it first felt like to see him appear in this weird space I your head, a space between dream and reality, sleep and wakefulness. It felt odd, insane, unexplicable at first.

But then it turned into comfort, into the safest place you knew, the one you had been running to every night. But now it's just dread. Hopelessness. The line between staying sane and becoming actually ill in the head blurring all at once as you find yourself grappling with reality. Your safe space turning into a castle of glass that could break at any moment in time.

Fear swallows you up. Your heart failing to beat properly as the faintest falter in the rhythm sends daggers piercing through your chest. Hyunjin cannot leave this place too. "How-how long have you known?", "I've always known".

An eerie quietness sinks in the atmosphere. Your heart plummeting in your chest, tumbling down your stomach with a thud. The blank stare in his eyes when you had confessed you were sleeping with Felix,the surrender in his voice when he had tried to calm down the rage that erupted from you then, when it felt like he had so passively accepted he wasn't going to be able to hold you back from diving head first into the worst of coping mechanisms, the alcohol first, the meaningless sex next.

"Is this - is this... Is this why you fucking SHRUGGED when I told you I had accidently drowned my liver in alcohol and ended up in bed with Felix? Had you already given up on me then? On us? You already knew didn't you?", you chide incongruently calmly, teeth gritting, hurt and anger at being left in the darkness blindsiding you once again.

"You were clearly in so much pain, y/n. You were mourning, I don't get to judge how people mourn, how they cope with pain, much less you. What was I supposed to do? Yell at you? Scream my head off accusing you of not caring about me or not loving me enough in death as much as you did in life? How could have that ever helped the situation? You were going to do something drastic if I had let you know at the time, and trust me, TRUST ME it hurt. It ripped my heart to shreds, it burned my entire soul to know you were fucking my best friend".-

-"But I was dead then and I am dead now. I cannot do shit about it. I cannot stop you from doing anything. I was just hoping it was going to be temporary! that-that... that you were going to eventually stop. Or fall for him. And be happy without me. But none of that happened and now I'm disappearing and I don't know what to do anymore".

The metallic taste of blood pooling in your mouth floods your taste buds as you bite down hard on the inside of your lips, rubbing them together int a thin line, Hyunjin breathes raggedly, he puts his face in his hands, crying into the sleeves of his shirt, "I just want you to be happy y/n, selfishly, I need you to be happy, cause my heart is fucking heavy for you and I cannot take it through with me. I need you to let me go, even if it means I had to spend two years letting you go first, even if it means I have to push you away right now, I need you to let me go".

Chapter 4

[shurisneakers]

a writing challenge? in 2024? you bet

Hi! Hello! Hey!

I've been going through A Time and have chosen to cope by going back to the specific vibes of 2016 to 2018. That happens to include an incredible resurgence in my love for MCU fanfic, the community around it and all the love that goes into them. I've felt a bit distant from here for a while, but I still see so many of my old friends writing, ones who want to get back into it, and a whole lot of new writers I am dying to meet.

I've floated this idea vaguely on my blog and people seem to be interested so I figured it was worth a shot!

So yeah, welcome to Ari's Old School, Nostalgia Jam, Why-The-Hell-Not MCU Fic Writing Challenge 2024!

Prompts, rules and whatnot under the cut:

Requests:

If you could reblog this post to reach someone who might want to participate, I'd really appreciate it! No need to be following me, it's open for anyone.

Reader-inserts, OCs, solo character fics, character x character-- absolutely no limitations

Any and all MCU characters are allowed

Anything above 500 words should have a read-more/keep-reading tab. Series, multi-chapters, one-shots, drabbles, etc etc. The sky's the limit.

Please tag me in your fics (@shurisneakers) so I'm notified of them, and post them with the tag #arisoldschoolwritingchallenge . It may take me a while to get back to you due to the circumstances I find myself in currently, but I absolutely will. Please send me a DM if I haven't responded within 10 days.

Send me an ask with the prompt you would like. Feel free to pick up to 2 prompts

The only thing I request of you: no RPF and no dark fics. Smut is welcome, but non-con/dub-con/incest or anything along those veins is something I'd ask you not to submit for this challenge. Thank you for your understanding!

I know I've called it an MCU fic challenge as it's the community I've grown with, but if you feel like any of these prompts resonates with a character from another fandom, please go ahead and write it. This challenge really is just about the fun of writing fanfic and love for Your Little Guys

No submission cut-off date. Take all the time you need.

Prompts

I've tried to have a mix of classics and uncommon tropes/dynamics, so I hope everyone finds something they connect with!

Relationship Prompts

1. Enemies (taken by @theysaywhatasadsight)

2. Best friends/childhood friends

3. Coworkers (taken by @jaaneymann)

4. Internet friends

5. Neighbours/roommates (taken by @angrythingstarlight)

6. Fake dating (taken by @hungryforpowernotfood)

7. Commuters

Alternate Universe Prompts

1. Florist AU (taken by @hungryforpowernotfood)

2. Showmance AU (taken by @bombsonboard)

3. Social media/streaming/gaming AU (taken by @splintered-emotions)

4. Thieves/Heist Group AU

5. Time travel AU

6. Pirates AU

7. College AU (taken by @lovelybarnes)

8. Apocalypses/dystopia AU (taken by @targaryenvampireslayer)

9. Chef AU

10. Roadtrips AU

Some rarer miscellaneous ones for those who are so inclined!

1. Shipwrecked together on an island

2. Meet Ugly (opposite of Meet Cutes) (taken by @barnesandco

3. Both of you are ghosts but don't know the other is

4. Treasure hunters AU

5. Faking death

6. Professional cuddlers AU

7. Time loops/Groundhog Day (taken by @sxrensxngwrites)

8. Orpheus and Eurydice

9. Villain x hero

10. Hitchhiking

11. Carnival of Horrors

12. Robin Hood

13. Matchmakers AU

14. Insomniac x narcoleptic

15. Intergalactic Coffee Shop AU

16. Doomed By The Narrative

17. Enemies to Lovers to Enemies

18. Subversion of Classic Hallmark Movie Tropes

Dialogue prompts

You can tweak them as per requirements, but be sure to keep the underlying message!

Angst

1. "I should have trusted myself. I should have stayed far away from you." (taken by @waywardcrow)

2. "Has it occurred to you that how I feel matters too?" (taken by @jaaneymann)

3. "We failed. I would do it again."

4. "You do not deserve my forgiveness."

5. "You make me feel so alone." (taken by @reidishh)

6. "I'm not giving up on us." "I did. You should too." (taken by @targaryenvampireslayer)

Crack

1. "Ohhh, you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid." (taken by @pinkthick)

2. "I think you and I make the worst choices together." "Yeah, but it's always entertaining."

3. "I trusted you." "Terrible decision, really."

4. "I know I'm smiling but I want to push you off a very big cliff." (taken by @pepperonijem)

5. "I'm hilarious." "You're traumatised."

Fluff

1. "This is the only thing I look forward to everyday." (Taken by @bombsonboard)

2. "I think we should do that again. For the sake of the world and my sanity."

3. "You're all I think about." (taken by @waywardcrow)

4. "Don't go anywhere I can't follow." (taken by @iguess-theyre-mymess)

5. "Don't smile at me like that." "Like what?" "Like that." (Taken by @lovelybarnes)

Word Prompts:

Flesh

Strawberry

Bruised (taken by @juvenilearson)

Groovy

Jump

Sunflower (taken by @barnesandco)

Alchemist

Wayward

Offerings

Mischief (taken by @supraveng)

I hope you'll join in! Please do tag anyone you think would be interested, I'd love for this to have as wide an audience as possible.

Lots of love <3

-Ari

[bleakbronze]

the more things stay the same

pairing: astarion/gale

chapters: 3/? (approx. 10-12)

tags: groundhog day au, eventual smut, slow burn, gale is down bad, astarion is very much under the impression they both hate each other

summary:

Astarion's day begins hellishly and somehow only gets worse. But dying somehow isn't the worst part. The worst part is waking up and realizing it's happening all over again.

updated after far too long!! astarion does some research, tests some theories, and staunchly refuses to make friends

[demonvampire180writes]

Because I would very much like to continue Groundhog Day chapter 3. I'm very excited about this story. But my brain has decided active avoidance is the mood for the day.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

2024 wrapped !!

bc that's what we're calling it now Sid decided. tagged by the amazingly wonderfully and talented @sighonaraa and @thewildballyntynesgrow

words posted: 255,382

words unposted: my current sheet has it at about 123k but those are only the fics I'm currently working on so there is definitely more

fics posted: 49 (some are updated chapters and not whole fics though)

fandoms written for:

Ted Lasso and Slow Horses (anyone interested in my Slow Horses stats I posted here because I have a separate ao3 for them)

top 5 by comment threads, including a tie:

not to me, not if it's you - 54 (this one is a bit comments georg because of the amazing @readwing who left a comment on each chapter and it has a lot of chapters and also started posting it in 2023)

false confidence - 43

there is no other land - 27

somebody you touch but never hold - 24

rage, rage against the dying light - 24

top 5 by kudos:

somebody you touch but never hold - 483

false confidence - 345

it makes me mad, it makes me sad, i break in half - 252

ignite your bones - 236

i worry i'll die young - 228

longest/shortest completed:

longest: there is no other land - 26,606 words

shortest: i have 4 fics that are all 500 words, outfoxed, if, my favourite version of you, and Groundhog Day

other personal favorites:

old habits die screaming is definitely one that has a big place in my heart that i need to finish it <3

rules:

feel free to show whatever stats you have. only want to show ao3 stats? rock on. want to include some qualitative info instead of stats? please do this. want to change how yours is presented? absolutely do that. would rather eat glass than do this? please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

no-pressure all-love tags:

i apologise to whoever has already been tagged! @fanficfanattic @jamietxrtt and @orbitalpirate

[ennard-is-near]

...got any recs for your answer to 17(underutilized fanfic tropes- ur answer was unhinged Michael & time travel) i have found myself with the desperate need to read these fics

Sure! First, here’s a list of the ones I’m about the explain with just a short summary if you’d prefer to go in to them without any spoilers. I didn’t go too in-depth for any of my explanations, but if you’d rather just stick to the one sentence summaries, here they are:

“Michael is Missing” by Starwrighter- Michael wakes up after the FNaF 6 fire and immediately runs away from home (Unfinished)

“Brother of Mine” by GardenOfManEatingPlants- Elizabeth notices that Michael is being weird, and their father is dead (Finished-Published as 3 short one shots instead of one long thing)

“His Empire of Dirt” by pearlandpine- Michael is sent to William’s childhood so he can try and stop the problem at its source. (Finished)

“The Zion Curtain” by Ekat - Michael and Henry BOTH go back to the past and are determined to stop William in their own special way. (Finished)

“Call Them Brothers” by OmnipotentToast- Michael is stuck in a Groundhog Day style timeloop the day of The Bite of ‘83 and trying really hard not to let anything go wrong. (Unfinished)

“Michael is Missing” by Starwrighter:

This is the one where he just leaves without packing or anything. Bro just walks out of Hurricane at like seven years old. It’s split between him walking around and trying to function as a stray child just out and about, and people looking for him. Also there’s a sprinkle of a trait I don’t see enough in depictions of Michael where, and I mean this in the kindest was possible, he’s not very smart. But I also sort of like the way where he’s an unreliable narrator sometimes. Ngl sometimes I can’t tell how much of it is just the author not doing a very good job keeping things straight, but sometimes moments have to be intentional and they’re really funky (/pos).

This one isn’t for you if you don’t want to read about a pretty young kid (even if it is just Michael lol) running away, sleeping outside and hurting himself accidentally kind of a lot. There’s also some stuff from the other Afton’s POV so if you aren’t in the mood to read people sad bc a kid went missing, that’s in here too. Also this author claims to be re-writing this, but I don’t know if they’re ever going to come back, so that’s something to be aware of.

“Brother of Mine” by GardenOfManEatingPlants

This is the other one I mentioned in my answer to the ask. It’s got two things, Obvious Michael time-travel but it’s not from his perspective (It’s from a split perspective, basically everyone has a chapter except for him) and also Michael immediately shoots William the second he realizes he’s in the past. The title is actually from the first part of the series, but each part is just one chapter. I think it’s a pretty neat idea and well executed. Poor Henry lol.

CWs are pretty light for this one. There’s guns and murder, and a framed-suicide but all of it is implied.

(I’m going to be so real with you, I lost my mind trying to find this one. I found one with a very similar summary and just assumed that it was this one, and wrote a whole thing thinking it was actually this one and that would have been the end of it if my list didn’t have to be a prime number and when searching for one more I found this original one. The other one was called “A strange passage of change” in case you want to see what it’s about, I didn’t finish it so I’m not formally recommending it, just letting you know.)

“His Empire of Dirt” by pearlandpine

You’ve probably heard this one recommended at some point but it ruined my life so I’m recommending it too. In this one, Michael is sent back in time to talk to child William Afton, but then he also hangs out with and befriends college-age William, both in an attempt to make things better before he even has the chance to to become the guy capable of murder (a difficult task). NGL this one goes off the rails a little bit and there’s some universe hopping and really funky time-travel stuff where he does it multiple times, but if you can look past that (and the imo kind of silly way he actually does the time traveling) then it’s a really cool take on William, Henry, Mrs. Afton and Mrs. Emily (Named Clara and Isabella in the fic) and Michael. That’s all I have to say, I know I did a bad job hyping it but genuinely it’s a really good time.

There’s a pretty extensive list of CWs for the fic, but the main ones are all centered around every character having horrible mental health. Trauma and guilt and just good ol’ mental illness (which is technically unspecified for a while but I don’t feel bad telling you that it’s diagnosed as BPD). Also, this one is really long and if you’re not looking for a 69-part (seriously) epic then you probably won’t enjoy this absolute novel of a fic.

(Also, this author in particular has some other AUs that I really enjoyed but there is a fully established multiverse going on in here. “His Empire of Dirt” is mostly [except for one chapter] self-contained but there’s other works that get wayyyyy more in to it. I honestly won’t say too much more because it’s easier for you to just go on a journey of your own through this author’s AUs that weave together with this one. If a FNaF multiverse sounds intriguing to you, definitely go check them out!)

“The Zion Curtain” by Ekat

No idea why it’s called that. But this one is silly and fun. I like that Michael and Henry are together on this one, it’s fun when they team up. Michael is having so much fun just pissing off William and Henry is actually the one taking the situation more seriously most of the time. But they’re both fun and they’ve got a silly dynamic. Not a whole lot else for me to say about this one without crazy spoilers, it’s a fun time. Short/Medium length (~15,000 words) and complete, so that’s always nice

There’s a fair bit of drinking and a fair bit of William Afton being not a great dad. Also murder.

“Call Them Brothers” by OmnipotentToast

This one is a little different but I’m stretched a little thin on “Unconventional Time Travel Fix-It’s” so I’ll count a time-loop as one. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Michael wakes up the day after The Bite of ‘83 and has to do the whole day over again until nobody gets hurt or dies or anything but it’s sort of impossible. This one is unfinished, but I think there’s still hope of this one being finished, it’s been updated since I first read it so that’s a good sign. This is also the shortest one, at only a planned five chapters with four being done.

CWs mostly just revolve around The Bite of ‘83 for this one. Blood, death, mutilation and hospitalization. There’s some other stuff on a chapter by chapter basis but the author does a good job putting specific warnings for each chapter.

[random-mailbox]

Random-Mailbox's Favorite Sailor Moon Fics - Week 45 - Reviving Shitennou

This week’s post is about bringing Shitennou back into the fold of the team. I wish that had happened in the manga / anime and am a little disappointed we did not get that in Cosmos. BUT that is what fanfiction is for! (To help us collectively right the wrongs / misses in original materials).

We are exactly ONE week away from @usamamoweek2023! Are you excited? Because I am very excited and am trying to finish my own submissions for this year's prompts

@smquickies2023 prompts are out too - that event is taking place August 6-12 (and is open to any SM pairings).

As always, my apologies in advance for spoiling some of these for you (Fic Titles are linked to either FFN or AO3 entries).

Deal Breaker - ninashtia

Keeping his shitennou being alive and well as a secret from his princess is bound to backfire on Mamoru. But not in the way he had expected.

Reunion - bashfulglowfly

In this story we get to witness the aftermath of the Dark Kingdom arc, but in an AU where Usagi didn't fight alongside our senshi and Tuxedo Mask in Tokyo (she still participated but from halfway across the world).

Embrace the Chaos - @serpentinred

Ami is thrust into keeping secrets and weighing possibilities, when her supervisor introduces her to someone who looks suspiciously like Kunzite. I love the art that @smokingbomber did for this one!

all things that are dark - @fated-addiction

Although this is technically just the first chapter of a fic that will hopefully get finished one day, it could stand as a one-shot as well. It gives glimpses of post-Galaxia thoughts Usagi has as she readies for the future.

The Shitennou Return! A Trip to the Beach in Peril - @chuplayswithfire

Mamoru has been keeping a secret from Usagi, something that she takes in stride and decides that a beach-day together with the girls would be the best way to get everything out in the open and see how it could all work. This fic has art by @mochibuni!

all my friends are dead and they bloody haunt me - @smokingbomber

Usagi, noticing some strange behaviour from Mamoru, takes a peek at what he could be up to. And decides that she can help fix everything.

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That's it for this week. Reminder - no post next week since it will be UsaMamo Week. We will return to regular posts on July 31st with "Tutoring"

Here are the links to the previous Tumblr posts in these series to explore more amazing works based on different themes - make sure to check them out if you haven't had a chance! (Click on title name to go to the post) - I will keep updating the list every week as new posts come up:

Week 1 - Groundhog Day

Week 2 - Established Relationships

Week 3 - Sex Positivity

Week 4 - Unfinished Stories

Week 5 - Darker Stories

Week 6 - Potions 🧪

Week 7 - Reveals

Week 8 - 👻Halloween🎃

Week 9 - Wrong Perceptions

Week 10 - Non-Senshi AU

Week 11 - In-Progress Fics

Week 12 - Mutual Pining

Week 13 - Enemies to Lovers

Week 14 - Slow Burn

Week 15 - Christmas Part 1 - Ugly Christmas Sweaters and Santa!

Week 16 - Christmas Part 2

Week 17 - New Years

Week 18 - High School AU

Week 19 - Slice of Life

Week 20 - Coffee shop AU

Week 21 - Huddle for Warmth

Week 22 - Friends to Lovers

Week 23 - ❤️Valentines Day❤️

Week 24 - Do a Grouch a Favour Day (or Cheer Up Fics)

Week 25 - Soulmate AU

Week 26 - Amnesia Fics (and resources)

Week 27 - 🍀St Patrick's Day🍀

Week 28 - Fix it Fics

Week 29 - Prompt: Mug

Week 30 - Flowers

Week 31 - Traditions

Week 32 - Dreams

Week 33 - Friends

Week 34 - Body-Swap

Week 35 - Medical Assistance

Week 36 - Sex Pollen

Week 37 - Psychometry

Week 38 - What If

Week 39 - Missing Scenes Part I

Week 40 - Green Jacket

Week 41 - Dr Chiba

Week 42 - Birthdays

Week 43 - Fluff

Week 44 - First Kiss

[whatever-local-cryptid]

Fanfic Rec 3 of ?

A Fragile Alliance by Little_vesuvius on AO3, it’s over 380k words and is extremely detailed in its world building.

I am a sucker for time anything fanfics, and this one peaked my interest. Aka: Snatched me into a chokehold-!

It’s a time loop fic but not Groundhog Day. Oh no, no, no, there’s SUFFERING. So much ANGST, and SAD. And the slow burn is like pulling teeth. Had me half feral reading it and dying inside. I loved it.

The “romance” it’s so far on the back burner that it’s not even simmering. So if you wanted a quick and dirty smut fic this isn’t it.

I’m so excited I’m trying not to spoil it-

It is ongoing, much love to the author, 50 chapters. It was published on December 9th, 2021, and the most recent update was in June 1st, 2024.

It’s for the Vampyr game that came out in 2018-2019. Damn that was a while ago.

. . .

The Vampyr fandom has grabbed me by the BALLS.

So here’s my recommendation:

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

O' blessed shippers & Readers

We are here again and it's summer again and as I mentioned in our last, it is June which of course means, we are doing our annual Long Read. It's where we nominate our favourite fics over the 45k word count and we spend three exciting weeks reading through a story that's just a little bit longer than usual. For this month, we chose A Symptom of Time with its sequel Like a Little Clock by fightingfuries and for the first week we're easing our way in reading just chapters 1 & 2.

So far we're all a mess at what we all agree is some stellar character work and some hilariously on point dialogue jogging us through the experience of the time loop trope and we're excited to get to chapters 3&4 this week because there's nothing we love more than a trope that's been executed with that special shyan panache

Rating: T(eventually E)

Summary:

"Sure," Shane says easily, like he doesn't believe Ryan for a second. "You're living out the plot of the 1993 Bill Murray vehicle Groundhog Day. Now where does the kissing factor in, exactly?"

"You were all like 'I'm Shane, I don't believe in magic but you should find a tall brunette to kiss.’"

Shane laughs again, helplessly. "I'm the tall brunette? I obviously meant Andie McDowell." He catches himself. "If I had said that, which I didn't, because time loops aren't real."

Or, Ryan is stuck in a time loop and needs true love's kiss to get him out of it. Maybe.

Book Club Thoughts

the author has quotes in the beginning of the chapters and ...I love it because at first you think "oh some random words" and then it's more than random words, which gives rereading value of this fic 10000500%

I love how much angst [Ryan] has over shane being so annoying about believing him

can we talk about that? How this author tapped into something about shane and ryan that we are all unable to look at for too long ...in that they are Mortifying

i'm so curious about what's next, are they just going to keep alternating time loops? progressing one at the time but never on the same page until the end?

I didn't expect to get feelings about Shane admitting that he's in one and it's probably not the first time he has to say it and the way it's written here is masterful

when their kiss happened and got Ryan out of his loop I immediately predicted that Shane would be stuck in a loop and y'all, I was giggling and kicking my feet when that prediction rang true

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