#grievous error | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

portraitofalinkonfyre · 2 months ago

Note

I beg of thee 🙏 please please please anything Hyrule for requests!!!

Coming right up!

A Head-astrophe

Pairing: Hyrule x Reader

Warning(s): Scenes with nudity but no smut :)

Notes: So I read a headcanon about Hyrule having lice by @final-fantasy-xiii-fan and was instantly inspired. Set in modern!au.

Masterlist

You were watching Family Feud when the soft pad of footsteps drew closer, and a weight settled on the couch beside you. You managed to tear your eyes from the screen just long enough to greet Hyrule, who looked especially shy as he sat, somehow managing to simultaneously maintain a respectful distance and be close enough that the end of his pinkie was poking the side of your hand. "Hey, Rulie. Need a break from the screeching?"

As Hyrule's grin turned sheepish, the sound of loud whooping continued to reach your ears, emanating from the backyard. you weren't quite sure what the others were up to, but it was undoubtedly exciting to them, which meant you absolutely did not want tot get involved. Part of you wondered if it was truly the right decision to make Wind aware of your frisbee's existence.

'Yeah," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, and the TV blared as a contestant attempted to assault Steve Harvey with a pen. You ignored it in favor of your curly-haired friend, whose eyes bugged out when he caught sight of the spectacle. "Oh, um– is that allowed...?"

You spared the barest glance at the television and shrugged. "Nope."

"...Then where's the... what did you call your hero again?" asked Hyrule with a dissatisfied expression, and you sighed.

"The Prime Minister's not going to do anything, Rules."

His brows furrowed and he scratched the top of his head. Again. They all did, but Hyrule did it to an almost unnerving degree. "But--"

"Hey," you laid a hand on the hero's shoulder just as the offending candidate was dragged out by several security guards. Steve Harvey remained largely untouched. "He's fine, see?"

The hero was still for a long moment, but eventually acquiesced with a hesitant nod. "...If you say so."

"I do say," you snarked, though it was gentle; he had obviously come seeking peace and quiet, so you weren't about to ruin the moment. You reached over, ruffling his hair in a moment of spontaneous camaraderie--

What the hell?!

–Only to yank your hand back with a terrified gasp. Fuck, fuck, fuck, how could you have been so blind? Being from what was essential the medieval era meant many of the boys–save for Warriors, who, in your opinion, was leagues above most modern men in terms of both attitude and cleanliness–had lower hygiene standards, but this... this was too much, even for you.

"Link, do you have lice?!" You blurted in abject horror, a millisecond away from leaping back and burning everything he had touched.

Hyrule winced at the use of his real name, looking slightly hurt by your reaction, which you would have felt bad for had his hair not been absolutely swarming with the small insects. Eventually, he seemed to settle on an answer to your horrified query. "...You mean the head rice?"

Your jaw dropped.

"You knew?!"

"It's not a big deal," Hyrule raised his hands defensively. "Lot's of people have head rice!"

"Lice," you corrected with a hiss that turned into a terrified whimper when you realized he had been walking around your home like this for... well, you didn't actually know, but his nonchalance suggested it had been a while. "Nope, nope, we're fixing this. Now."

"Fixing what?" A new voice joined the fray, and you turned pleading eyes to Warriors and Wild, who had ambled inside mere seconds ago.

"He has lice. Lice," you stressed.

Recognition flashed across Wild's dirt-smudged face. He snapped his fingers. "Oh! You mean he has head rice?"

Just as all hope left you, Warriors elbowed the Champion in the ribs with a grumbled: "Don't call it that," before he set his sympathetic gaze on you. "It's okay, we have herbs–"

"–And I have fire," you hissed, already inching to the kitchen where you kept the matches. Hyrule looked instantly nervous.

"Wait, hold on, let's talk about this–!"

You dodged the Traveller's outstretched hand and continued to back away. Until you stopped, realized Hyrule was still sitting on your couch, and oh god what else had he contaminated--

"Nope, no talking," you said, breathless with terror. All three of them were looking at you with varying expressions of regret, curiosity, and apprehension, but it was all relative at this point. You pointed to Hyrule, who sat to attention like he was awaiting imminent execution. "You. Bathroom. Now," and, in an effort to not sound like a total jackass: "Please."

It was a small mercy that the Traveler hadn't the will nor courage to refute the very obvious command. He stood, choosing not to dust himself off when your glare reached maximum intensity, and scurried to the bathroom like the little (adorable) rat he was. Warriors and Wild silently watched as you all but sprinted to grab several large garbage bags from the kitchen, holding them like the holy weapons they were. "Wars," you stared the blonde Captain straight in his little blue eyes. "Give it to me straight: who else has head ri– I mean, lice?"

Wild, never one to overlook a good joke, looked on with a shit-eating grin. "He can't because he's not–"

–Only to be elbowed for the second time that day as Warriors successfully retained his last bit of dignity. "Not that I know of," he admitted, and you sighed in half-hearted relief. A pointed look was sent in Wild's direction. "Though some of us could benefit from a bath."

The Champion opened his mouth to retaliate, only to be silenced by Warriors' hand (gently) slapping over his mouth. The Captain's expression was unamused. "Don't even try. You smell like a corpse."

A betrayed look was shot your way in an attempt to garner sympathy, but you had none, raising your hands in surrender. "Listen, man, as long as you don't have head rice–sorry, lice–"

The door swung open and Legend barged in, catching the tail end of your exasperated sentence. His brows furrowed in bafflement. "What the fuck is head rice?"

You ran a hand down your face and sighed.

"...Are you sure this is necessary...?"

"Absolutely," you interrupted, rolling your sleeves to your elbows in preparation for the grueling task of cleaning the errant hylian, who somehow managed to shrink further into the warm water. It hadn't taken much to strong-arm him into the tub, though not before making sure his clothes were contained in a garbage bag in preparation for a very deep cleaning. You sat on your haunches, hip pressed to the glossy ceramic barrier, and reached for a pair of gloves.

Hyrule's ears pressed to his hair when you slipped them on, the black latex snapping against the skin of your wrists, and he looked seconds away from drawing blood from how hard he was gnawing his bottom lip. Hazel-green eyes flicked to the thin comb you retrieved next, and it took everything in you not to pat the rounded curve of his shoulder from where it peeked above the soapy water. The bubbles hadn't been necessary, per se, but it did create a rather masterful 'cover up' that ensued you didn't feel quite as bad for staring in the general direction of his body.

"Hey," you paused, letting his gaze return to you. Despite your initial reaction, you were far from mad at the Traveler, just... concerned. For his health (obviously) and the preservation of your lice-free life, but you liked to think that your heart was in the right place. "You're going to be fine. We'll fix this together."

Hyrule blinked slowly; like a cat, or a rat. Suddenly, he didn't look as apprehensive. "Promise?"

"Promise."

You brandished the comb with a grin, hand already reaching for the bottle of special shampoo, leftover from the last time you babysat your neighbor Cindy's little demons. The Traveler watched you, the muscles in his neck still glaringly taunt. Time to fix that. "Ready?"

A pause.

"As I'll ever be," murmured your victim with the ghost of a smile. You returned the expression before gently descending on his scalp, using the comb to separate the tangled mess he called hair into two... well, it was a bit presumptuous to call them sections, but you were getting there.

"Jezus, Rulie," you muttered under your breath when the comb caught on a particularly matted section. You could have sworn his hair wasn't this crazy the last time you touched it. "When was the last time you had a trim?"

"Er..."

You tugged on a knot and, yup, those were lice eggs. Ew. "Actually, don't answer that, I need to save my screaming voice for Wild."

A soft chuckle was all you needed to hear to know that, after all these months, you were somehow still funny. Or he was just an incredibly kind soul who liked humoring you. Both were equally likely.

After a few grueling minutes, you set the comb on the tub's rim and grabbed the plastic cup from the floor, dipping it into the bath to fill it. While leaning over him like some clean-freak specter was fine and dandy, you really didn't want to get lice-water anywhere near his face, prompting you to tap both his shoulders. "Can you turn your back to me? I'd hate to get stuff in your eyes."

Hyrule obliged with a small nod, shifting so his freckle-dotted back was facing you. You thanked him with a pat to the bicep, then carefully knotted your fingers in the curls by his neck, coaxing his head to tilt upwards. "Oooookay, and stay just like that until I get the soap going."

There was a huff of acknowledgement as the Hero quite literally bent to your will, the muscles in his back flexing–not that you were looking, obviously–when you poured a small amount of water on the crown of his head, using your other hand to smear a very generous dollop of shampoo into the middle of his scalp, slowly massaging it in with the concentration of an over-caffeinated neurosurgeon and pretending not to hear the pleased hum leave his lips. He hardly flinched when you maneuvered his head back up. "Good?"

"Mmm," said Hyrule eloquently. You rubbed firmer, further aggravating the very overactive lather his head had become, and the Traveler's shoulders went wonderfully slack. You didn't comment on the way he seemed to be leaning into your touch, whether intentionally or otherwise. "Thank you."

"I live to serve," you joked, grabbing the comb and raking it through his wet locks, which somehow managed to retain most of their curl despite him probably never having even fathomed the existence of curl creams before. "But don't fall asleep on me yet, Traveler. I can't guarantee I'll catch you in time."

That earned you a chuckle. You tugged through a fading knot, flicking the spare foam into the already soapy water, only to start all over again because, by Hylia, you did not want to do this half-assed.

Hyrule cleared his throat, though it sounded more like a wet squeak than anything. "...Do we really have to burn everything I've touched?"

Oh dear, the apprehension was back. "What, no? Who said that?"

There was a pause. You managed to brush another full line through his hair, slowly eradicating any trace of the vile creatures that had taken residence on his head. "You did...?"

"Well, obviously I was wrong, because I spent money on this house and it's more Wild's speed to burn things down," you simultaneously explained and defended.

"You're not wrong," Wild acquiesced from his place against the doorway. The comb fell from your grip, plopping into the water as you whirled around on unsteady knees.

"Hylia– how long have you been there?!"

"Long enough," was the Champion's response. You had the distinct urge to bury your face in your hands, but that meant risking contracting the dreaded head rice, so you reigned yourself in with a sigh that hopefully conveyed just how exasperated you were with being spied on. Wild raised a brow, grinning. "You're good with your hands."

"Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome! Warriors is wondering if you're planning to shave him, by the way. We're building a fire pit."

Hyrule went stiff beneath your hands, peeking over his shoulder with a very apprehensive expression. You held your hands up in surrender, hoping it was enough to salvage the fragile trust between the two of you. "Oh, god, no. No shaving, and– hold on, did you say you're building a fire pit?"

Obviously, this was very concerning, because you knew for a fact that you did not have one.

Wild was unfazed. "Yeah? Time's digging it right now, since you mentioned fire–"

Hylia have mercy, you brain whispered with mounting horror. "You're joking. Tell me you're joking."

"Okay, I'm joking."

Your eye twitched. You knew that guilty look anywhere. "Are you?"

A swift silence befell the bathroom; Wild's ears tinted strawberry. "...You told me to tell you!"

...You were done. The scent of smoke filtered in from the likely ajar backyard door. "You know what? Go wild."

Wild's face lit up like the Fourth of July. "Really?!"

"Fuck no, tell Time he can either fill it back in or those apple turnovers are going back to where they belong: my imagination!"

"But you never made any–"

"GO!"

The Champion obediently scrambled out. You turned your attention back to the man in the tub, only to realize you had dropped your comb when Wild entered. "Oh, for the love of–"

You promptly shut your mouth when the item was brandished from the suds. Hyrule's smile was apologetic in the few seconds he had before you were turning his head back around. "I'm sorry," he said; softly, like any wrong word would send you into another aneurism. "I can make sure it's filled when we're done."

You tilted your head and chuckled, combing a long, satisfying line down the center of his scalp. "I wouldn't be so hasty, did you see Wild's face when I told him that?"

He hummed, and your eyes caught the tell-tale curve of a smile on his face. It was nice; you were grateful for the quiet.

Many minutes passed before you felt proud enough to rinse the soap out with the movable shower-head, poking around his head to check for any stragglers. When you were confident there were none, you stood, grabbed the plastic bag of clothes, shucked your gloves into the wastebasket, and turned to the door. "Wait right here, I'm going to toss these in the washer and I'll be back to condition you."

Hyrule regarded you in that way teenage boys did when they were trying to find the joke in your words. You weren't. His tone was meek. "Not that I'm complaining, but is that really n–?"

You crossed your arms over your chest. "Just let it happen, Link."

"Okay," said the Traveler quickly. The water sloshed when he lifted his hand, slicking a few wayward strands away from his forehead. He shifted a bit beneath the water. "Should I just...?"

"Hm? Oh, just stay there. I'll have you rinse off in a bit."

Was it just you or did he seem a bit... dare you say, disappointed? You readjusted the bag in your grasp and, there it was, the tell-tale slump of freckled shoulders.

"Hyrule, you're cute," you said without missing a beat.

His ears perked. You pretended not to notice the flush staining tanned, freckled cheeks. "...But?"

A shrug. "There's no 'but', I'm just not keen on seeing anyone naked right now."

His blush darkened. "Ah..."

He watched as you flashed a bright grin and left.

A beat passed. Hyrule buried his head in his hands, cheeks flaring a big, bright shade of crimson.

Clunk!

Your skin jumped when the washing machine shuddered once again. Beside you, an ever-vigilant Hyrule–dressed in your Frog and Toad graphic tee and matching shorts, uncaring of how the collar hung low over his sternum–scanned the basement once more for threats. He was sweet like that.

"You don't have to watch," you told the hero softly, tearing your eyes from the rattling machine to steal a glance at his freckled face. Brown hair, curled to perfection. Clean. Happy. "It'll finish when it's finished."

Hyrule returned your gaze for the barest moment. Hyrule resumed watching, tugging his knees a bit closer to his chest. You found yourself copying the movement, if only to relieve the numbness in your backside from sitting on the floor for so long. "You're here," he told you; matter-of-fact, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"That's it?" you responded, tone teasing. Maybe you wanted to alleviate the tension in your belly, or inject a bit of humor into the frankly insane situation. You didn't even want to think of all the washing you'd have to put your poor machine through.

"That's it."

You exhaled a breath. The machine shuddered once more. This time, Hyrule made the first glance. "Thank you," he said.

"I live to serve," you parroted, hoping your grin was enough to wash the sentimentality from your expression.

"Don't say that."

Full-stop. You nearly gave yourself whiplash from how quickly you turned to face him, palm landing on the cold floor to steady yourself. "Huh?"

"You're more than that," Hyrule continued, gaze surprisingly hard. His eyes flicked to the machine, then back to you. He took a breath, eyebrows softening into a wistful slant. "I mean, we're just heroes, but you treat us like..."

You knew where this was going; he didn't need to finish. You could do all the work. "...People worth knowing?"

"Something like that," the Traveler smiled, and you felt your heart throb when this one reached his eyes.

A thick silence blanketed the room. You sat back slightly, using your arms to stay somewhat upright. Chewing on your lip, you stretched your legs out, toes pointed against the rumbling metal of the machine. "Because you are."

There was a rustle of fabric, and you nearly jolted out of your skin when a pair of lips pressed against the flesh of your cheek. You blinked; once, twice, thrice, but it was useless against the butterflies taking flight in your belly.

"Thank you," whispered Hyrule. Link. He returned to his spot, reinstating the modest two-foot distance between the two of you. Your stomach clenched for an entirely different reason; mouth agape, heart hammering a hole through your ribs.

"I..."

"You don't have to say anything," he was looking at you, and not even the kiss of death could have stopped the flush that bloomed across your cheeks, caressing the curve of your neck in a way that had goosebumps springing forth like flowers. He coughed, suddenly looking a bit red himself. You were glad you weren't the only one. "I just... wanted you to know."

The Hero of Hyrule didn't say much else.

The washing machine dinged with completion, but neither of you moved to pick up the slack.

You worried your lip. You scooted closer, bringing an arm around his half-bared shoulders, earning a soft laugh and even softer blush. Somewhere down the line, your cheek was pecked again.

This time, you didn't fight it.

This time, you let yourself smile.

Why can't he be real?? 😭

#linked universe #linked universe x reader #lu x reader #the chain x reader #lu hyrule & reader #so apparently autocorrect has decided that the word 'hylian' means 'Julian' so please excuse any grievous grammatical errors #lu hyrule #lu hyrule x reader

120 notes · View notes