#grieving two pretty significant relationships

[drreamerss]

cutting people off when they fuck you over never gets easier, but you need to put yourself first!!! i’m literally begging!!!

[saintsenara]

rare pair tag game

thanks for the tag, @said-snape-softly :)

i'm pretty sure everyone has done this by now, but if you'd like to, please consider this a blanket tag.

apart from all the tomarry and the odd dabble in remadora, i am a rare-pair enthusiast, so i am delighted to spread some propaganda here... the criterion i've used for a rare-pair is less than 2500 works on ao3.

pairs, little metas, fic recommendations, and some suggestions for authors to follow under the cut.

sirius black/severus snape

why i ship it:

this one can just about claim to be a rare-pair.

sirius and severus are narrative mirrors, whose complicated relationship to themselves and to each other is crucial for driving several of the most important arcs in the series.

in particular, sirius - constantly haunted by guilt and grief over his role in the death of the man he loved [you can decide if his love for james is platonic or not, but i definitely think the text thinks it isn't...], trapped in his childhood home, unable to have his real loyalties acknowledged before his death by the fact he's on the run - leads harry through his journey in hero-worshipping, then being disappointed in, then forgiving james. and then promptly dies.

this is one of harry's most significant areas of personal growth - it begins to chip away at his rather black-and-white morality, which is finally destroyed by his ability to confront the complexity of dumbledore in deathly hallows - but it is also key narratively: harry coming to understand james starts to hint to the reader that it is lily - otherwise absent from her son's conception of himself - who is the key to the mystery...

which brings us to severus - constantly haunted by guilt and grief over his role in the death of the woman he loved, trapped in his childhood home, unable to have his real loyalties acknowledged before his death by the fact he's a spy - who gives harry, and us, the final piece of the puzzle. and then promptly dies.

put them together, though? well, you get the delicious tension of two fundamentally broken people - who cannot comprehend the possibility of their own redemption - bound to each other. can they forgive each other and themselves? is it a disaster? the story can go either way.

and even in fluff there is so much potential for d r a m a between sirius' recklessness and severus' cunning, sirius' emotional control and severus' temper, the fact that sirius is canonically hot and severus is canonically not, how they react to harry and draco [i don't usually accept the fanon that severus is his godfather, except when it means snack can be fighting about it], and so on.

and i'm a sucker for two bitter old men getting a happy ending. sue me.

want to give it a read?

if you trust nothing else i say in my life [and why should you] you can trust this - second life by nwhiker and cassandra7 is one of the greatest pieces of writing i have ever seen, not only in this pairing but in this fandom full stop. it's a profound and solemn meditation on loving and grieving, choice and chance, and the great pain caused by the divide between the magical and the muggle worlds.

then, for gorgeous angst with a happy ending - two boys kissing by @writcraft and the merit in trying by brightened

albus dumbledore/tom riddle | voldemort

why i ship it:

the facetious answer is because they wouldn't be so obsessed with each other if there wasn't some sexual tension underneath it.

the facetious and nsfw answer is because it appeals to the part of me whose favourite book aged 11 was lolita

the serious answer is that they should be horrifying together: they're both liars; both incredibly self-righteous; both living behind masks which conceal their true emotions and motivations; dumbledore took one look at tom as an eleven-year-old, said "he reminds me of gellert", and then did nothing about it; tom thinks dumbledore's a hypocrite and is right, although not for the reasons he thinks; there is a colossal age gap; there is virtually no scenario in any timeline where they could be openly in a relationship unless one of them is concealing his identity; and - really, this seems quite minor in the grand scheme of things - they are constantly trying to destroy each other.

but.

intellectually, they are the only two characters in the series who could be the other's equal - i'm sure that violent arguments about the twelve uses of dragon's blood trigger the majority of their sexual encounters, and a man who's passionate about your research is hot.

if either of them ever fancy being honest - so, no - there is a shared cavernous [although, in tom's case, unacknowledged] grief in their lives which has shaped their not-as-divergent-as-the-text-thinks-they-are views on death, love, duty and so on. their active refusal to understand each other [i.e. dumbledore entirely misreading voldemort's motivations in the job interview scene] and commitment to constantly underestimating each other [i.e. voldemort bouncing around like an idiot in the chamber of secrets instead of using his brain and remembering what a phoenix is] could, in time, lead to something almost resembling acceptance. i mean, just imagine the hurt/comfort sex which happens when voldemort finds out about grindledore.

the way dumbledore describes the young riddle - "self-sufficient, secretive, and, apparently, friendless" - is also an exact description of him. that each sees himself in the other canonically drives their hatred of each other, but it could also appeal to two very vain men in a much racier way. after all, who doesn't want to bang their narrative mirror?

and being an orphan probably doesn't seem so bad when you realise your boyfriend's family is aberforth.

want to give it a read?

i can't recommend concordance by @laeveteinn enough, particularly for one of the best-written dumbledores i've ever seen. i find dumbledore is often written either as far more whimsical than i'd like, or far more fiery and radical [when one of his most interesting personality traits in canon is his tendency towards inaction], but this dumbledore is the perfect balance of contradictions, while tom is his canonical feral self, longing to perceived, rather than the emotionless sociopath of so many other stories.

i also recommend as an entire ocean in a drop by eldritcher, which really leans into just how similar these two are underneath all the artifice.

albus dumbledore/severus snape

why i ship it:

well, we've had dumbledore with one lost boy, let's have him with another [i haven't been brave enough to venture into dumbledore/harry yet, but i'll take recommendations...]

as with riddledore, we have the potential for horror here: a vast power imbalance; enormous age gap; the fact dumbledore sends snape out to potentially die every time he goes off to voldemort; and - this is the crucial one - the fact that dumbledore's recognition of himself in snape is pure self-loathing ["you disgust me"] manifested in punishment [allowing snape to be humiliated in front of fudge, not stopping the presumed-to-be-real moody searching his office, making him give harry occlumency lessons, not letting him teach defence against the dark arts].

but then this stops, when snape does the tremendously brave thing of agreeing to kill dumbledore, and their dynamic equalises, as dumbledore recognises that snape is courageous, steadfast, and redeemed. i'm always struck in half-blood prince by the fact that dumbledore has it with harry's sniping about snape and straight-up tells him to shut up, as well as by the fact that he very nearly gives the game away and confesses why snape switched sides [the thing he promised not to do] when harry finds out it was snape who gave voldemort the prophecy.

and within this equalised dynamic - so this hot geriatric sex is happening in the afterlife, i guess - we have two men who are intellectual close-to-equals, who understand grief and guilt, whose aesthetic senses are charmingly mismatched, who are rarely honest but might be for each other, and who have lots of profound similarities which might lead somewhere...

want to give it a read?

cheerfully disregarding everything i've just said about how snumbledore could work, i highly recommend in infinite remorse of soul by @perverse-idyll, which is a chilling look at how dumbledore uses the power imbalance between the two to assuage his own guilt through snape's humiliation.

for something much more wholesome, i'm a big fan of byzantium by eldritcher

petunia dursley/severus snape

why i ship it:

because vernon is a dick.

i'm fond of petunia, who i think is one of the most interesting characters in the series because of how full of contradictions she is, and who i think is also a victim in fandom spaces of how the adult cast was aged up for the films [in canon, she's only in her early twenties when lily dies, and the implication is that vernon is a good deal older than her)] which makes her inadequacies, such as her inability to truly care for either child in the household, seem much more nuanced than they do if she's pictured as a middle-aged woman with considerable life experience.

like snape, she teeters on a knife edge between various chasms: she is a working-class girl from the midlands made good in middle-class surrey, he is a working-class half-blood boy who spends most of his life in pureblood circles; she ends up with her whole life wrapped up in a square little house when she's barely out of her teens, he ends up with his whole life wrapped up in spying at the same age; she hates the wizarding world and yet covets it, he hates the muggle world and yet cannot escape it; she loves lily and she hates her and she loathes her for dying, he... well, you know the rest.

want to give it a read?

i was first convinced by this pairing by the lovely regretfully yours by @maria-de-salinas, which takes both snape and petunia's awkwardness and bitterness and moulds it into something really tender.

i also highly recommend barking at the moon by rinsbane, the summary of which speaks for itself.

merope gaunt/tom riddle sr.

why i ship it:

our first canon pairing, and probably the most problematic of the canon relationships, since the series never acknowledges that tom sr. is a rape victim.

but i have found myself recently in my merope era and, in particular, in an attempt to give her more nuance than she gets in canon. as i've said to anyone who'll listen in the three broomsticks discord server, i loathe the implication in canon that merope dies because she just cba to live [since it directly justifies voldemort's belief that her death was shameful] and prefer to see her as someone who was desperate to escape a truly horrifying life [the fact she's going to be forced into an incestuous relationship with morfin is right there in canon...] and so did something she didn't have the capacity to understand the implications of [this is not a woman who's ever heard of consent] because she thought it would give her the first chance to be happy in her life, watched it all crash and burn around her, and would have very much liked to have lived to raise her son.

i doubt there was anything real or tender in her relationship with tom sr., of course, and his escape - while merely a brief stay of execution from his son's perspective - is tremendously brave. it's impossible to write tom/merope fluff [although i respect you if you're inclined to try] but fanfiction gives a space to explore the intricacies of their relationship which canon doesn't allow, and i'm obsessed.

want to give it a read?

i'm recommending myself here, and assuring you that you will enjoy: enchanter's nightshade, which explores how merope's attempts to keep her husband enslaved fail; the snow child, which treats the relationship as folk-horror; and the shack at the end of the lane, in which there is redemption, in the end.

the best exploration of tom sr. dealing with the fallout of the relationship is @phantomato's exquisite ganymede, which feels so truly embodied that you can't pull yourself away from the page.

bellatrix lestrange/tom riddle | voldemort

why i ship it:

our second canon pairing, i am obsessed with these two and the tragedy and - to some extent - tenderness bound up in their relationship [which can be proven to be there because noted softy @whinlatter loves them].

i've written before about my conviction - in contrast to a lot of bellatrix fans - that her relationship with rodolphus is utterly miserable, and that voldemort is the only man in her life who can understand her desire to make a life for herself which is not constrained by the gendered expectations of her social class.

obviously, lord voldemort is not a shining paragon of a boyfriend [and he is an awful choice as a baby daddy, bella, get it together], but i think the enormous power imbalance is perhaps slightly less enormous than is sometimes assumed - certainly, she tells him to his face in half-blood prince that he's wrong to trust snape [she's a clever woman], voldemort never physically punishes her for anything [rip to lucius malfoy, who seems to get picked for this in her stead], and voldemort tolerates a surprising amount of nonsense from her which shatters his mystique.

all of which is to say... the scream when she dies isn't just because he's losing the war.

want to give it a read?

tee hee, i'm recommending myself again, and encouraging you to take a look at: atramentum, bellamort's last afternoon together before voldemort goes to the potters; nor all that glisters gold, bellatrix's life - including her relationship with voldemort - through sirius' eyes; and death (eaters) in paradise, because murderous psychopaths deserve crack fics too.

draco malfoy/tom riddle | voldemort

why i ship it:

because the ship name is taco.

these two are a pairing which i enjoy with my tongue firmly in my cheek [and tom's tongue firmly in draco's], as i do with most other things in which draco is a main character [do i want to read drarry angst? no! do i want to chuckle? absolutely!], although this should not be taken as saying that many of taco's fabulous authors don't manage to make the pairing entirely plausible.

in fact, consensual taco [non-con is, of course, its own beast] often has some of the best characterisation of both tom [fretful, mercurial, stubborn, and nowhere near as charming as he thinks he is] and draco [prissy, a very good judge of character, someone who likes being taken care of, and much braver than he appears if he absolutely has to be] i've seen in the fandom, largely because - unlike other voldemort-centric ships [especially tomarry, but also voldemort + any of the adult death eaters] - there's no sense of inevitability there. these two aren't connected by a shared bit of soul, or a prophecy, or having gone to school together, or having been hooked in by voldemort in the first war when he was unassailable.

they have to choose each other. or, more accurately, draco has to choose tom, and tom has to get chosen.

and the results have me entertained.

want to give it a read?

then you will want to have a look at the travelling cabinet by @the-paper-monkey [and its sequel, bluebeard], truly the gold standard of taco content with an absolutely brilliant draco, whose sheer capacity to cling on and make himself an irremovable part of tom's life may just end up changing the course of history.

narcissa malfoy/severus snape

why i ship it:

because i am in deep with the conspiracy theory that it's canon. i am absolutely certain that narcissa is the person that voldemort is referring to at the end of deathly hallows - "he desired her, that was all, but when she had gone, he agreed that there were other women, and of purer blood, worthier of him". it seems highly unlikely to me that the canonical voldemort would give a shit about snape fancying any random pureblood [although the snapemort version is, naturally, hugely jealous], but snape having had some sort of liaison with narcissa, and the ability knowing this gives voldemort to humiliate snape, narcissa, the memory of lily, bellatrix, lucius, and draco is definitely information he would go out of his way to remember...

plus, how do you know where he lives, babe? v suspicious.

want to give it a read?

if you want some fluff, you will very much enjoy the incredibly sweet the reformed man by gingertart50, which features narcissa nursing snape back to health post-nagini and is a favourite re-read for me when i'm drunk and it's christmas.

if you want some very-much-not-fluff, other women and of purer blood by yours truly will scratch the itch...

minerva mcgonagall/severus snape

why i ship it:

because i'm an equal-opportunity age-gap fan, and there is far too little older woman/younger man in the fandom.

and look, i'll admit it, i'm a fan of the fanon that snape and mcgonagall are friends prior to dumbledore's death - i'm not sure it's canonically plausible, but this sign can't stop me because i can't read - and i like the idea of that blossoming into something more, especially in fics where snape survives the second war. after all, he is a man who definitely needs to be treated quite strictly [and i don't just mean in the staff room], there is a shared loneliness and grief to them both, they're intellectual equals despite the age gap, and bickering about quidditch is absolutely fine as a method of foreplay.

plus, you can't tell me dumbledore's portrait doesn't ship it.

want to give it a read?

for a fic which shows minerva at her acerbic - and yet still sensual - best, always but not necessarily forever by gingertart50 is an old, fluffy, and very funny, favourite.

for something much more bittersweet, that good night by kelly_chambliss has my heart.

severus snape/tom riddle | voldemort

why i ship it:

because voldemort is canonically down bad for it - there is no need to believe snape's ridiculous cover story for not attending his resurrection, to try and spare lily as a treat for his man, and to give him a nice, painful death which allows the narrative to move on and harry to defeat him if the dark lord isn't firmly in his simp era.

more seriously, they obviously have an enormous amount in common, particularly in terms of their backgrounds [harry draws a connection between all three of them, but actually the fact that harry is rich in the wizarding world, not a slytherin, and with a muggle mother, therefore giving him a pureblood name, means he can't relate to the post-childhood experience of both halves of snapemort].

as a result, i think snape is the death eater who comes the closest to understanding voldemort's motivations - above all, the fact that he's not seeking an oligarchy, which the malfoys etc. obviously believe - while voldemort is someone snape feels understands his intellectual interests and his creativity.

want to give it a read?

boy, are you in luck, because i myself have a snapemort wip - scylla and charybdis. it is not wholesome.

tom riddle/myrtle warren

why i ship it:

because it started as crack and now i love them.

in particular, i just have so much respect for being incredibly annoying as a method of seduction, and i think myrtle's commitment to just following tom around chattering at him - and, therefore, without her realising it, preventing him from committing all sorts of crimes - is iconic.

want to give it a read?

then my unhinged rom-com - bookbinding - shall provide.

tom riddle | voldemort/ginny weasley

why i ship it:

because i enjoy seeing my dear friends who ship hinny shake and cry.

but also because ginny and tom have an enormous number of similarities, right down to the fact that they both have yew wands [if you're sick of people saying harry has an oedipus complex, you'll be delighted to be confronted with the mountain of evidence ginny reminds him of the villain who keeps trying to kill him instead].

they are both very good liars, quick thinking, remarkably resistant to shame, possessed of nerves of steel, predisposed to violence, brown-eyed, so hot they have harry gagged, and the profound enemy of someone whose surname is smith.

despite what he claims, tom was absolutely not just sat politely in that diary gritting his teeth while ginny complained about having second hand robes and idiot brothers. as he says, he opted "to start feeding [her] a few of my secrets", and i think it's justifiable from canon that they were at the very least half-truths [for example, i would not be shocked to discover he tells her he's a half-blood orphan brought up against his will in the muggle world - there's no other reason, i think, for him to successfully make her tell him these things about harry without it], which means that ginny has lots of lovely emotional leverage over him.

plus, as with tomarry, you have the element of "this is kind of inevitable" in the relationship, and the mysteries of fate are always sexy.

want to give it a read?

this is a tommary/hinny/tominny triad, but it has had me in a chokehold since the first time i read it - shameful company by merrivale, which, truly iconically, manages to be epilogue compliant.

[glow-wine]

Re: Arondir

2x8 spoilers obviously

The Rings of Power generally suffers from having to balance so many different storylines, which also advance at very different paces and aren't always equally exciting. It's a problem that the Gandalf subplot has not at all overlapped with any of the other storylines FOR TWO SEASONS. These characters do not even know of each other's existence.

In Season 1, the most engaging storyline for me was the Southlands stuff. The stakes were high and felt that way, too, since all the characters were original creations, their fate not predictable, the threat was tangible. As this storyline's protagonist, Arondir was pretty much constantly fighting to survive or to save others, and he often failed simply because the odds were so high. His dynamic with Adar was interesting and felt like it was setting up something. Arondir watched Adar grieve for a dead orc and became the first (and for the duration of Season 1, the only) character to see that emotional side of Adar. They were both doing the seed planting ritual before a battle, a deliberate paralleling of the two characters.

In Season 2, those same key moments were replicated with Galadriel, setting up the same kind of dynamic between Adar and Galadriel. Meanwhile, Arondir is ... handled weirdly. Frankly, Season 2 uses him like a cheat code: Isildur needs saving? Arondir! Galadriel needs help? Arondir! He's the action guy, who does action things. Oh, he also wants revenge against Adar for Bronwyn and everything else, but this part of the storyline isn't even half-assed, it's quarter-assed at best. He just goes up against him and gets stabbed in 2x7. But only mildly stabbed, I suppose, because the injury isn't even brought up in 2x8, he doesn't share any further scenes with Adar, does not even comment on his death. He's given no room for his personal feelings, and his character arc is a mere sketch. He's purely a supporting character as soon as he is surrounded by the "important" canonical Elves. It's not very satisfying, not very good storytelling.

And I wonder if the original plans for these characters were anything like this. Supposedly Bronwyn only died because the actress quit, so was Arondir meant to stay with the Southland refugees? Was he meant to go after Adar for some reason other than revenge? I did not think it boded well that Bronwyn wasn't recast; obviously removing this character didn't impact the overall plans all that much, and the writers didn't worry about how her death would affect and change Arondir's story. I mean, he's lost his love interest and his personal antagonist was essentially taken from him and assigned to Galadriel. All Arondir is left with is some badass action scenes and a few nice moments here and there, but it doesn't come together in the end. It just fizzles out. What's his story?

Overall, I don't think The Rings of Power has handled its original characters all that well. Not really a surprise, because the show is telling too many storylines at once, and simply doesn't have enough time to develop original characters as well. But think of the elves who briefly journey with Elrond and Galadriel, how they are non-entities and you do not even learn their names until their "shocking" death scenes. The black guy dies first, too! With that in mind, I guess Arondir is lucky to be alive, even if he's relegated to the status of a supporting character without significant relaionships or goals of his own.

Honestly, I'm not even that suprised or disappointed. I found it hard to get into The Rings of Power Season 2 right after watching Interview with the Vampire, because that show is so much better at writing characters and developing complex relationships. Surely part of the reason is that it's just a much more personal story with a smaller cast. Fallout was another positive example of a TV show handling multiple storylines/main characters more successfully than ROP, again a smaller cast and more focused writing, and a season finale that involves everyone in meaningful ways, which Rings of Power has failed to do twice now.

I'm sorry if this rant was incoherent or if there are typos, I don't feel like rereading and editing it, lol. I could also go on and on and ON! But it's way past noon, I'm still in my pyjamas and starting to feel grimy, so I need a shower.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

also, like, some perspective to soothe my own brain: season four happened in the craziest two weeks of everybody’s life. not much even really happened that was that significant, for all the big emotions. they called a presidential election that probably won’t go the way they called it. the deal went through like logan wanted it to, which is really no big; the kids just got so swept up in the idea of stopping it because trying to tank the deal was a way to try to keep their father with them, a way to try to keep themselves the same people they were -- or wanted to be -- in their father’s eyes. everything they did was pretty futile.

and, like, roman and gerri had some bad fights within a tense two weeks. but the whole thing with succession is that there are always those moments where you’re like “oh my god. i can’t see how these characters can possibly come back from this. their relationship is OVER.” and then in the next episode, they’re interacting like normal again. because that’s the toxic family bubble! that’s the rollercoaster! that’s the mess! that’s the norm for these people and it always has been!

so i feel like realistically, season four was less “roman and gerri are over forever” and more “roman and gerri had a bad fortnight where they were both grieving and exhausted and emotionally insane and he fired her twice and she threatened to sue him and release his dickpics to the world but also they miss each other and look at each other tenderly from afar and roman and gerri will probably just keep being roman and gerri when the dust settles.” i don’t think big dramatic relationship endings are really a thing on this show, even when they maybe should be. (coughtomshivcough) one thing that i liked about the finale was the suggestion that it was specifically the end of the “who’s going to be the next ceo?” story, not the end of the roys* and the other characters, and they’ll all probably just kind of carry on being themselves and doing what they do. and for me, that in part means roman and gerri continuing to cross paths and do their weird little thing.

*except maybe kendall idk man D:

[radioshackraider]

So, changes to Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The School plot is condensed. Percy is kicked out almost immediately after the school trip incident, instead of a downward spiral of poor behaviour, partially caused by his gaslighting by Chiron and Grover. Grover also now plays a more active role in his leaving Yancy by being honest that Percy admitted to wanting to take action against Nancy's bullying of the pair. Grover isn't played as disabled here, likely because if he was, Rick would have wanted to have cast a disabled actor for the character and that may have caused some significant difficulties, given the physical nature of Grover's role. A minor detail to be sure, but Mythomagic, a fiction card/miniatures game is introduced as part of the world in the very first episode. It's not too important, but it does help flesh the world out a bit more and is appreciated. Smelly Gabe (Percy's stepfather) is frankly less of an asshole, so far. He's a full on parasite still, but he doesn't come off as a complete piece of shit instantly. His dynamic with Sally Jackson seems to be less abusive so far. Speaking of, Sally takes less of Gabe's shit here. In part be cause he gives less of it, and in part because what little he gives, she gives back. All in all, she's much more proactive here, even attempting to tell Percy about his father and his nature as a demigod. Percy keeps Riptide after the fight with Mrs. Dodds. Instead of immediately returning it to Chiron, he ends up keeping it and using it against the Minotaur, even though he still ends up kill it with it's own horn. Mr. D is more playful and less surly. Comes across as more of a prankster than a alcoholic in withdrawal. Still an ass, but a more likable one. Which is important for a recurring character who isn't a full on antagonist. The introduction of Glory as an almost magical quality. It feels like it's filling a similar role to the aura demigods have that attract monsters to them, both growing as the demigod does in power. It gives Percy some amount of reason to participate in things when he should be grieving his mother. Annabeth spends less time with Percy before his quest. They basically don't interact with one another until the Bathroom scene. Instead Percy spends more time with Luke, which given the sped up nature of the show, is important to establish the friendship between the two. Percy isn't attacked by a Hellhound at camp. This was an important factor in the decision to send Percy on his quest originally, as it was thought he may be safer outside the camp than in. It also gave Chiron and others reason to suspect Hades as the Lightning Thief. And the biggest change, as I've mentioned a little so far, is that the time frame has sped up drastically, to be more in-line with Rick's more recent books. Percy gets kicked out of school faster, He spends less time at camp unclaimed, he spends much less time training, and he gets a single week for his quest. A quest that he originally had at least a month to complete. Which is a major change given that a significant amount of his time on the quest was spent in the Lotus Hotel and Casino. Which we know is still a part of this show's plot.

And now for some fun speculation on other changes I think may occur. The incident with Procrustes won't be featured. It's pretty horrifying and brutal segment that isn't overly important to the story. Feels like an easy skip to me. Hermes will give the escape pearls to Percy at the Lotus Hotel instead of the Nereid after the Echidna Encounter. Pure speculation here, but I can't see why he'd be involved in the plot of this at all unless he was acting in his role as the messenger of the gods and delivering something to the questers. The subplot of Percy's rampage of terror across the US will likely be dropped. The main fallout being the complete breakdown of the relationship between Gabe, Percy and Sally can still happen without the prolonged media meltdown simply by Gabe going full Abuser over his car getting totalled. This is a pretty dark plot line for a kids show. I could see it getting cut in favour of a more amicable separation of Gabe and Sally. But Rick also doesn't like to shy away from these more complex topics, and it might be good for a kid's show to touch on them.

[thgfanfictionlibrary]

do you know any age gap everlark fics? thank you

Hello Anon!

Here's a list of Age Gap!Everlark Fics that I found in my search. I tried to shoot for notable age gaps rather than like 1-4-year difference:

Blowout-annieoakley1 (ao3) Summary: “You’re fifteen years younger than I am. I’m your boss. I’m technically your father’s boss. There’s a pretty significant power imbalance here, Katniss. How do you think your parents would feel if we were together? What do you think everyone would assume?” Everlark. Modern Day AU. Bullseye-DandelionSunset, Everylark, papofglencoe (ao3) Summary: When Katniss Everdeen finds herself stocking up on Midol and tampons at her local Target, the last person she expects to check her out is Peeta Mellark. An age gap!Everlark love story. Chemistry-annieoakley1 (ao3) Summary: A week away from graduating college, Katniss runs into her former high school teacher and first crush- Mr. Mellark. An Everlark oneshot. Electra-misshoneywell (ao3) Summary: Katniss has always been envious of the close relationship her best friend, Madge, has with her father. But after an intense situation helps bond her with Mr. Mellark, she realizes that it's not a fatherly relationship she wants. Crush-atetheredmind (ao3) Summary: When Katniss meets her friend's older brother Peeta, she is immediately smitten with him. She's only fresh out of high school, he's a college senior, and she's convinced he won't even give her the time of day…until he does. Leather-Jenye (ao3) Summary: His fingers are worked to the bone and the calloused digits tell stories of the countless hours he slaves to help support his family. The purple hues beneath his eyes only seem to enhance their mesmerizing blue shade. His blond curls never look entirely clean and his fair skin wears a pink tint beneath the thin layer of dirt he always accumulates. He had been sixteen when he took this job almost three years ago and now he looks every bit of a man nearing his thirties. Ride Along-thegirlonpeetamellark (ao3) Summary: "We drive along in silence for a while longer, and I realize this night has not gone at all like I had expected. I was ready to be pissed off the entire time and make it perfectly clear how I feel about this punishment. But Officer Mellark is nothing at all like I expected, and this night has been anything but ordinary." Modern Day AU Saint Peeta-thegirlonpeetamellark (ao3) Summary: Katniss and Peeta in college. He wants her. She wants him. So, what’s the problem? The Baker's Son-misshoneywell (ao3) Summary: "He’s a grown man, Katniss. With secrets," he says to the trees. "You’re barely eighteen. Be careful." In-Panem AU. The Boy Next Door-atetheredmind (ao3) Summary: Katniss has a new neighbor. He’s good-looking, sweet. But he’s too young for her. And she is definitely too pregnant for him. The Girl Next Door-thegirlonpeetamellark (ao3) Summary: She turned toward the house when the light went on, and when she spotted him in the window she blew him a kiss. He stood there, frozen, torn between wanting to continue watching her and knowing that this wasn’t right. She was his grieving neighbor’s daughter. She was six years younger than him. Written for the Tumblr 'Prompts in Panem' 7 Day Challenge: Intimate Portraits The Piercing-LemonLuvGirl (ao3) Summary: 23 year old Katniss Everdeen is one of the Capitol’s premier marksman trainers for the Peacekeeper Core. She trains the best Peacekeeper recruits in various districts, but she lives permanently in the Capitol. It’s on one of her return home visits one year that she meets the newest Victor of the Hunger Games, Peeta Mellark. He’s a shy, sweet 16 year old who’s innocence reminds her of everything she’s lost over the years working for and living in the Capitol. When he asks her out she says no. Two years later they meet again and Peeta is almost nothing like what she remembered. Working Through It-thegirlonpeetamellark (ao3) Summary: Written for S2SL. "I think it's a good thing you're innocent and inexperienced, trust me. But I have…specific needs and tastes, and I just don't think it would be a good idea for us to get involved." Peeta hires Katniss for some contracting work on his home. Then they realize this is more than just a business relationship. Modern Day AU

Hope these ones are new to you! Happy reading!

Feel free to add any more you guys know of in the replies, tags, or reblogs and I'll add them to the list!

Update (12/19/23)

Every Time I Choose You-endlessnightlock (ao3) Summary: Older Katniss makes a bargain for Younger Peeta to become her husband in this no Hunger Games, in-Panem arranged marriage a/u.

[the-boney-rolls]

The Great Covid Beatles Binge, Day 1: Nowhere Boy

I am stuck in bed with Covid and have decided to spend my time binging all the Beatles movies, docs and biopics I've never gotten around to. Up first, Nowhere Boy (2009)

OK this opening shot is actually stunning? The first chord of A Hard Day's Night and John running through Liverpool and stumbling just like in that movie. STRONG opener!

“Do I ignore you? No. So please don’t ignore me.” makes me think of "Don’t 'nore me Mimi!"

Oh Uncle George! I don’t know if their relationship was really this lighthearted and warm but it breaks my heart to think that sweet John couldn’t have a positive father figure in his life for long, he clearly needed that. 

John making weird little sounds while he doodles and then doesn’t even know that he’s being asked about his favorite guy. “Churchill sir!”

This poor actress has really been type cast as Messy Mom. I feel like she usually plays meaner/more fucked up characters though so I was skeptical, but I like her in this after all.

"I Put a Spell on You" really is a sexy song, damn.

So in the context of this movie, these scene doesn't even feel all that scandalous. This entire movie to this point (and going forward) has been framed a romance between John and Julia, so by the time you get here it's like yeah, I guess that's what we're doing. The writer of this movie read that one quote of John's talking about having feelings of attraction to Julia and really went WILD with it.

I'm shocked that they didn't try to find some way to get the song "Yes It Is" into this movie. Clearly someone has a theory:

If you wear red tonight Remember what I said tonight For red is the color that my baby wore

Anyway, this forest scene was hot.

I love Aunt Mimi and John teaming up to haggle with the man for a better price on the guitar. “That’s not very good is it John?” “Borderline mediocre if you ask me”

What is going on with this lodger and Aunt Mimi! I feel like I'm getting a vibe.

OK unsurprisingly, I need there to be like %1000 more significance placed on this scene.

I'm gonna pause here to talk about casting. I don't believe that actors need to look just like the subjects they're portraying, it's more important that they can carry out the essence of the character, but I do feel like sometimes, with certain characters, there are some aspects of appearance that are important. Like I think it is important that Paul is very pretty, both for his own character and for John's perception of him. And in this instance, the John actor is just objectively much prettier than the Paul actor and that's simply wrong. John would never in a million years say this little boy looks like Elvis!

This scene is such a mess, this movie is just making shit up now. Julia at literally every one of their gigs. John being weirdly jealous of Paul's relationship (??) with Julia. Paul being a great and confident lead guitarist! This last point in particular gets me because if that were the case, what's the point in bringing in George? Which happens in the next scene! There's absolutely no build up, it's just like here's George.

Justice for George, once again a nonentity in a Beatles movie. At least in Backbeat he had a couple funny lines.

Mimi made him birthday dinner and bought him a new guitar!! But he didn't show! Excuse me while I sob. This trope always gets me. I think the relationship between John and Mimi is my favorite part of this movie.

Ah the infamous punching scene. It really must have especially irked Paul that it was in the context of John grieving for his mother. Like, how dare they take this thing that was such a tender, emotional bonding experience for the two of them and make it into a display of John's macho anger.

Make me think -- WHAT would John have thought of this movie??

"In Spite of All the Danger," my beloved! This song is so good. Peter Jackson, please work your AI magic on the record to give us a cleaned-up version! I'm so McLennon-pilled though that it's very weird to see it in this context. Also, it's mostly a Paul song!

“Hamburg? Humbug!” Mimi, I love you!

OK sobbing. And as "Mother" plays the movie out? It's on the nose but it's working for me.

Overall, a fine movie. The whole concept of the movie as essentially a romance between John as his mother is questionable at best! But there were a lot of lovely shots of Liverpool and I did like Aaron Taylor-Johnson as John. He captured John's silly, playful side that you don't often see. Definitely the Mimi/John relationship was the best and most authentic feeling part of this movie, so I am glad that it ended on that note.

Next up, Give My Regards to Broad Street!

[radley-writes]

Different anon here. Been suffering a pretty significant depression slump that magnified tenfold after a pretty devastating breakup.. my main WIPs were romances but now the idea of romantic love makes me want to puke from the anxiety. It's been almost half a year now, and I feel like I'm in a constant state of mourning, a ghost of myself. Will I ever be able to write again..?

Oh, nonnie. You've really been through it. Come walk with me to the river, okay?

[image description: a sunlit field, lined with trees, and a pale blue winter sky above]

It's a lovely sunny (if FREEZING) day, so you'll need a coat and a sunhat!

Here we go...

You've been through something horrible, which has tarnished your love for your favourite genre. I'm so sorry that the breakdown of your relationship took writing romance from you. That sounds incredibly difficult, and to grieve that loss is understandable.

Let's head down through the farmland, along the muddy tracks pitted with the hoof prints of wild deer...

[ID: a dirt road leading between two thin lines of trees, with green fields on either side]

As far as I see it, three options lie before you.

1) push through the anxiety and force yourself back into writing what you used to love, risking making yourself hate it even more and causing yourself psychological damage in the process.

2) abandon the idea of writing romance entirely and focus on something new - which means letting go of something you still care deeply for, and many memories you cherish.

3) wait to heal and hope time will resolve your lingering trauma around romance - but you don’t know how long this will take, or even if it will work at all.

.... We're gonna have to take a detour because the rich city slicker bastards are out shooting birds for 'sport' again 🙃. Scuse me...

[ID: A copse of spindly birch trees, leafless in winter. ]

[ID: A fallow field with a green field behind it. The green field is dotted with numerous white fabric flags.]

Back onto a new path! And look at all the flags on that one field.... Fuck any geese who land THERE in particular, huh?

Any one of those options might work for different people! However, I suspect you’re aware of these choices, and for whatever reason, they aren’t working for you.

I can't give you a perfect answer. I can't even promise that you will write romance again. But if you’re ready, I can give you a few ideas that invoke elements of Option 1, 2 and 3, which might help with the healing process.

[ID: A path along the edge of a field, leading into a group of trees. A river is visible beyond it.]

Sometimes, we start to resent ourselves when we can no longer do something from which we used to extract joy - be this for any reason, trauma, physical disability, end of a hyperfixation, etc. If this is the case, holding tightly onto the past may not be in your best interest.

If the mere idea of writing romance brings you no joy and satisfaction, only repulsion and misery... If you are clinging on to your desire to write romance out of a need to prove that you are the same person you were before you went through this, and that what you suffered did not effect you... it might be best for you to cut that desire loose.

There are so many creative outlets out there. Something else will call to you. You could try to - very slowly and gently - broaden your reading horizons, and write something completely devoid of romance. You could dabble in different hobbies and turn your focus to alternate means of creativity, from dance to cooking to pottery.

And if you sample many different dishes and none of them appeal... There's a fair chance that, by the time you reach that point, you might have put enough time and distance between yourself and the disintegration of this relationship, that writing romance no longer feels like stabbing yourself repeatedly in the chest.

It might still hurt, but it’ll be more like grasping a thorn. A small, sharp pain, but one that isn't going to tear you all the way open.

We're almost there!

[ID: A muddy path through leafless, ivy-wrapped winter trees. A river is just visible between them]

It’s alright to change. It’s alright to let trauma and loss shape us, so long as we don’t let it ruin our lives and the lives of people around us.

We're here! Let's sit down for a bit.

[ID: Half of a simple wooden bench, on a grassy bank, pointing away from the camera.]

I want you to sit quietly for a while. Think about what I’ve said, and ask yourself, truly, if pursuing becoming a romance writer again is the best course for you.

If it is - or if you are unsure, but still want to try - let's focus on trying to help you reclaim that part of yourself that you used to love.

Does reading romance also give you panic attacks? How about novels that include romance, but focus their plot in a different direction? Sit down with a fantasy book that has a minor background romance - I can give you some reccs, if you want! See how you feel.

Is there a show you really love, and some characters whose relationship you're invested in? Do those characters feel sufficiently distant from your situation? If so, could you write a few short snippets of fanfic. You don't have to publish them - but if I'm in a slump, writing fanfic often feels far less personal than writing about my own OCs. That might help you rediscover your affection for the romance genre, without cutting out your own heart and slapping it on the page.

Alternatively, could you write a platonic romance? By which I mean, for writing practice, try to incorporate all the 'beats' of a romance book, but focus on a different type of love - that between friends, or siblings, or even a parent and a child. Again, this might help you access the emotional ups and lows of a romance novel and help you hone your writing skills, while avoiding the core issue of a romantic relationship.

[ID: a river meanders over a flat countryside, reflecting the blue cloudy sky]

Here's our river, winding away. I hope that no matter what you choose to do, you take good care of yourself.

You will find creative joy again, somewhere, even if it's not in the same way you're used to. Of that much, I'm certain. X

[razorblade180]

I want to see Jaune and Ruby celebrate Christmas. Yes I know you said it’d hurt but I want it regardless.

No pun intended but Ruby was the gem at Arc Holiday celebrations; laughing and fitting right in. Jaune of course was already welcomed by Tai, Qrow, and Yang. Turns out family approval is pretty easy to gain when you’ve done nothing but fight alongside side your significant other to keep them alive. Big feasts family food secrets were plentiful.

After they got married things only got better. Ruby’s holiday spirit is pretty infectious and Jaune is romantic softy that only ever wanted the little moments like waking up beside her and spending hours in bed laughing and enjoying each other’s company. He always tried spoiling her and Ruby returned the favor. If her love was infinite, then he was a bottomless well. She never felt embarrassed about how grand or small her affection was. He’d want it regardless.

It was online after their first child did the holidays became sour. After all, it should’ve been three happy people, instead it was two devastated adults thinking about what could’ve been. Celebrating anything felt wrong and like a robbed experience. Not that Ruby was around or available during much of the grieving. Yang was a real saving grace during that time period, visiting Jaune and taking home to either Blake’s family or Tai’s house. She was the only person assertive yet gentle enough to make sure he wasn’t left alone under any circumstances.

After some long needed healing and being reunited, Jaune and Ruby once again were together during the holidays (and just in general) their friends always went to them or gave them great reasons to leave their house. Still, eventually they had to return home. Gift giving between them didn’t seem as swell of an idea for awhile. Even so, misery loved company, and both found a familiar yet different kind of warmth in simply holding each other as their lows hit.

Nothing remained miserable forever though. Christmas joy began to mean something again after they had their second child. The pain didn’t completely fade but having Carmine in their lives brought light again. The girl loved Christmas and jumpstarted Ruby’s festive cheer again which meant Jaune also got into the spirit again. By the time they had their third, Garnet, the couple got back into a groove. Celebrations were big again every member from every family was happy to see the two brightest of the group get their luster back.

Nowadays, everyone is pretty busy in the world. Hidden truths were uncovered and their little girl was now 17 with a more shaky relationship between her and Ruby, but despite their views on the matter of fighting for what’s right, neither ever lit it get in the way of Christmas or the little ones enjoyment of it. All and all, the family is alright. Maybe just like before, all that’s needed is a little time before grand celebrations return once again.

[ignisgalaxia]

Star Trek Captain/First Officer Ships

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I wanna talk about the captain/first officer ships. I think that it’s perfectly normal to ship the captains and first officers to some degree. I mean after all, they’re ideally the relationship that gets the most focus in each show. That being said, I think each pair has their strengths and weaknesses so I will be ranking them accordingly in tiers, from not romantically compatible to practically married.

Low Level Ship Tier

As you can gather, this tier is mostly for the pairs that have the least amount of ship energy. Either they have the bare minimum or their dynamic is just not suited to romance imo.

Carol Freeman & Jack Ransom

I love Lower Decks for many reasons, but these two’s relationship leaves a lot to be desired. Honestly these two feel the most like coworkers. You know, the ones who only put up with each other because they’re on the same team. The biggest reason I feel nothing for them is that I just don’t like Ransom. At all. He’s like a caricature of Riker with all the male stereotypes and none of the charm. Plus Carol is already happily married (at least I assume happily; we should really see them together more), so I don’t really see any appeal to them.

Jean-Luc Picard & William Riker

I think for a while Will saw Jean-Luc as somewhat of a father figure. But based on the scenes they’ve had together in Picard, I think their dynamic has shifted to really close friends. Seeing them talk with each other so casually filled me with such joy. I love them as a team, but I don’t see any romantic potential, especially since they both have amazing women for significant others (and yes I do mean Deanna and Beverly). Also age differences make me uncomfortable sorry.

Michael Burnham & Saru

These two give off sibling energy more than anything. Their relationship has improved significantly over the past four seasons, but man season one was rough. I get why Saru was mad at her, he was grieving Phillipa and Michael did hold some responsibility for her death, but his attitude toward her got really infuriating at times. It was interesting seeing how they rebuilt their relationship into one based on trust and understanding though.

Benjamin Sisko & Kira Nerys

I don't really have much to say about these two since I haven't watched DS9 yet. But I also think they work best as friends. I mean I guess there could be something but I think the whole Bajoran prophet aspect makes things a little weird. Idk I really don't have any opinions on them because I lack knowledge.

Mid Level Ship Tier

This tier has the pairs that have a good amount of romantic potential, but something’s holding them back from being truly top tier. But overall I think they’re pretty good.

Jonathan Archer & T’Pol

I KNOW T’Pol ends up with Tucker (I don’t understand how or why), and her and Archer are very different but hear me out. You know the episode Twilight? Well that was originally written as a Voyager episode for the pair later in this list (and you know where they’re gonna be). So yeah, a romance episode for another pair was rewritten to fit these two. Kinda telling, don’t you think? Other than that not much to say since I haven’t seen Enterprise either.

Christopher Pike & Una Chin-Riley

I like this ship, I really do. But I just haven’t seen enough of them together to truly get on board. From what I have seen though, their dynamic is very cute. Like when he fumbled her name trying to introduce her. Frikkin adorable. And I love the idea of her just lifting him with zero effort since she’s apparently freakishly strong.

Dal R’El & Gwyndala

These two have come a long way in just the span of one season. Dal telling Gwyn to keep her eyes on him at the end of episode ten and his anguish when she accidentally saw Zero through his combadge’s reflection. AND THEN THE FINALE KISSES! Dal’s got some balls for planting one on her in part one, and then in part two their mutual kiss before Gwyn leaves. I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT. I hope these two go somewhere, but the fact that Gwyn isn’t gonna be with the crew next season is making me not get my hopes up too much.

I think it’s also important to note that this is the only pair to have ACTUALLY KISSED and is even remotely canon. And it’s two teenagers. The fuck’s up with that?! (That is also why they are not in the high ship tier because while they’re frikkin adorable and I’m happy they kissed, they’re still minors so I’m not investing every part of me into them if that makes sense)

High Level Ship Tier

This tier is reserved for the pairs that I legitimately think belong together. Like it’s borderline cruel that they’re not a couple. This tier is for two pairs in particular, but there’s always room for more if they prove worthy. I’d also call this the ‘Oh My God Just Kiss Already’ tier.

James T. Kirk & Spock

These two aren’t the fathers of slash fanfic for no reason. Again, still haven’t seen the original series, but having seen several clips, specifically from Amok Time, yeah they’re pretty gay. And considering there’s an entire movie dedicated to Kirk finding and bringing Spock back, it’s giving off soulmate energy.

Kathryn Janeway & Chakotay

And surprising absolutely no one is the couple I would literally sell my soul to see become canon. I mean, do I really need to explain myself? The only reason these two aren’t together is because the writers are cowards. For God’s sake he built her a bathtub! And she dropped everything to go searching for him when he went missing. He is her rock and she is his peace! THEY ARE SOULMATES DAMNIT!

So there’s my list. What about y’all? Do you agree with my ranking or would you put any pairs in a different tier? Let me know, and have a happy Valentine’s Day!

[elenacastro]

𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈 ─── 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃 ─── 𝙿𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚃

Full name: Elena Paloma Castro

Nicknames: Lena, Ellie

Age: 31

Nationality: Dual (Puerto Rican, American)

Gender: Cis Woman

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation: Bisexual

Current Occupation: Electrician

Former Occupation: US Marine Corps Pilot

Residency: Old mobile home near the Solar Panel Yard

Lenght of Residency: 2 years

Summary

Born in Arizona, her parents were two immigrants who saw a bright future for their two daughters. While Monica, her older sister, saw a clear path for herself, Elena struggled a bit longer to figure out what she wanted. Eventually, she joined the Marines instead of going to college and that's where she's been. Her sister moved to Redwood since it was her fiance's hometown, it's where they got married and had their daughter. Elena visited for the wedding once, stayed for a while, and then returned to work but shortly after, the goddamn apocalypse happened. Elena was amongst the ones who tried to save as many people as possible but when her entire unit fell, she headed for Redwood to meet her sister. However, when she reached town, she discovered her sister didn't make it during the attack. Elena decided to stay and be with her niece and her sister's husband, the only family she had left. Her time in the Marines made her valuable, although she prefers quickly tinkering with electronics.

Wanted Plots

(This might turn into a WC on main) Her sister's husband. They rely on each other to take care of Elena's niece, although they've never gotten close. They barely know anything meaningful about one another but at the same time, they'd kill for each other. Just a distant yet close relationship between two people still grieving the loss of a loved one.

Returning friend: They met during Elena's sister's wedding preparations and they instantly clicked. They spent a significant amount of time together when Elena was in town before the outbreak and when the world started burning and she came back, their friendship solidified and they grew to become extremely close.

Old hookup: It was just one shared night after the wedding festivities and they never planned to do it again, see each other again or live together during a damn zombie apocalypse. Although it's been a long time since then, Elena seems to avoid them a bit too much to have forgotten about it.

Her sister's friends: People who were close to Monica and who still miss her. Finding comfort in each other is sometimes easy, but sometimes the similarities between the sisters show too much. Especially when Elena is around her niece. It could be bitter-sweet. Or simple resentment.

Late-night buddies. Just two people who absolutely cannot sleep so they sit together at night, giving each other shit about how they are both so damn messed up, they can't even relax in their dreams. Always dancing on the line of having meaningful conversations.

Renovation friend: Someone who helped her fix the trailer home she now lives in. Elena is pretty handy but some things just work better with two pairs of hands. They were kind enough to help her when they barely knew her and Elena has never forgotten it, often inviting them to visit the project they finished together.

Bennie's refuge: Elena has a dog named Bennie and while they are an unbreakable pair, the pup always seems to run off to visit them. Countless times they brought Bennie back or Elena showed up at their place to pick up her dog. It's a running joke at this point.

I had more ideas last night when I applied but that's all I can remember for now.

[kae-karo]

hi, me again. after the breakup.. also thanks in advance

hi dear!!!! for context (x) okay that's what i assumed but i kept rereading the message and wondering if i was misunderstanding. in that case...

augh first of all, i'm so sorry dear!!! no matter how the breakup went down, that's definitely a stressful situation to find yourself in. very honestly the best advice i can give you is to focus on...basically anything else

which sounds like. maybe obvious or silly advice or smth? but imo the best method for gathering yourself up and working toward moving on is to surround yourself with friends and activities that bring you joy (or at least some distraction). ideally, things that you can really focus on rather than passive stuff (if ur anything like me, watching stuff is pretty passive and doesn't tend to engage my brain very well!)

i've been through one (1) pretty significant breakup (many moons ago) and had another close friend go through one more recently that's probably more similar to your situation, but the one thing i noticed in those situations is that it can be challenging to disentangle yourself from the life you had with your partner - there are habits, activities, and facets of yourself that you've built with particular people, and it can be a struggle to not have any of that suddenly!

so, my suggestion is to indulge in the things that you want to do just for yourself - spend time with friends (i know there's sometimes caveats here when you've been with a person for a while and friends overlap between you and your ex partner, but i would still advise seeking out other people to talk with and ideally, at least one person that isn't entangled with you both! it can help to vent to someone that won't be in conflict if they're still friends with the ex partner too)

anyway - focusing on things that you do just because they're things you, personally and without any reliance or dependence on your ex partner, enjoy doing. try new activities or crafts or skills, create new habits (getting outside once a day, visiting a new restaurant, making new meals, etc), play new games or watch new media (again, the media can be hit or miss), spend time with friends, cause your social meter may be a little lacking if you're suddenly (possibly) not talking with/spending time around a person you were previously regularly talking to/hanging out with

i know the thing that nobody wants to hear is that moving on takes time, but unfortunately, it really does - but filling that time with things that bring you joy (small joys or big joys, either are good!) or things that you may not have tried before (new experiences tend to feel more significant in our minds than repeated or habitual experiences, just cause they're new and different!) can help give you some distance and perspective that makes acceptance and moving on feel a little smoother

the other comment i'll add is that it's okay to be upset, and to grieve, and to miss the relationship and the person - regardless of how things ended, how good or not so good things were during the relationship, or how you feel about your ex partner now, they were obviously a significant part of your life for two years. intentional distraction (as in, doing things you know will distract you but also because you want them to be a part of your life ig?) is a good way to help shape your life in a direction you want it to go from here, but acknowledging the significance of that time and person and relationship is not a bad thing - the trick is finding a balance, and trying to recognize if your acknowledgement starts to prevent you from finding joy in your life now. nostalgia isn't a bad thing in its own right but it can definitely start detracting from finding happiness in your current life if it starts to become a central focus!

all of that to say - grieve !!!! acknowledge the way you're feeling, whether it be hurt or angry or disappointed or whatever it is!!! but make an effort, too, to start focusing on the present and the ways you can bring joy and excitement and happiness and contentment into your life now, because that's where you're living! call on trusted friends and try new things, or old things that still bring you joy, and i absolutely promise that the way you're feeling will begin to shift as well. it takes time and it isn't a perfectly smooth path, but you will look back one day and it won't feel quite so bad <3 i'm sending you all the best vibes dear!!!

[fortitudina]

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Faolan Lowell NICKNAME: Bad Wolf, Lone Wolf, Little Wolf Little Wolf, AGE: Old, that is all that anyone needs to know BIRTH DATE: 24th October GENDER: Male SPECIES: Lycan ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demiromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demisexual RELIGION: Catholic SPOKEN LANGUAGE: Gaelic, English, Russian, German CURRENT LIVING CONDITIONS: An apartment in the city. OCCUPATION: Unknown / Former Angel for H.E.A.V.E.N

RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS: • Mother - unknown name • Father - unknown name SIBLINGS: • N/A SIGNIFICANT OTHER: • Verse dependent CHILDREN: • Nil FRIENDS: • Lien Xao • Anastasiya Zakharov • Valentin Demiurgos OTHER CONNECTIONS: • Cooper Hemming • Lucien Morningstar • Adrian Strix • Keokuk Nashoba

PHYSICAL TRAITS

EYE COLOUR: Blue HAIR COLOUR: Blonde HEIGHT: 6ft 2 inches BODY BUILD: Mesomorph TATTOOS + PIERCINGS: H.E.A.V.E.N tattoo on left arm, Sun & moon scripture tattoo down his back NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: His body holds several scars from his time as an Angel for H.E.A.V.E.N.

POWERS & ABILITIES

POWERS: • Shapeshifting • Healing Factor • Superhuman agility, strength, senses, speed, stamina • Night Vision • Immortality ABILITIES: • Can survive hundreds of years without food • Expert in hand-to-hand combat • Skilled marksman WEAKNESSES: • Silver • Celestial weapons

PHOBIAS & DISORDERS

PHOBIAS: ~ MENTAL DISORDERS: ~ WHEN WAS THIS DIAGNOSED?: ~

PERSONALITY

PERSONALITY TYPE: ENTJ-A ( Assertive Commander ) MORAL ALIGNMENT: True Neutral INTELLIGENCE: Very Intelligent LIKES: Coffee, Working Out, Relaxing DISLIKES: Living on the edge, Rats, Fish DISPOSITION: Appearing cold and almost stone-like upon first encounters, it takes a lot for him to drop that exterior and allow others to see his true nature. Under the exterior, he is flirty, warm and caring. He still cares greatly for his two former Agents and is very protective of them and others that he comes to care for. EXTRAS: ~

BIOGRAPHY

TW: ABUSE. TORTURE. ASSASSINATIONS. DEATH.

He did not know that he was a Lycan at first, born and raised in Dingle in County Kerry, Ireland, Faolan’s childhood was pretty ordinary; his father was a fisherman and his mother owned a small shop by the harbour, which he would help out in when he wasn’t attending school. One afternoon, he was on his way home from high school when he saw his parent’s shop on fire. He ran as fast as his thirteen-year-old legs could go but the fire was already deeply set in burning the shop down and Faolan believed his parents to have been in there at the time.

He was met on the cobblestone at the front of the burning building by a strange man. He claimed to be a welfare officer, and came to take Faolan in so that he did not have to live a street rat’s life. He told the young teen that he’d be going to a home for orphaned children but, upon arrival there, the place was nothing like the homes for children that he was aware of. There were no windows and only one way in and out; it appeared like the place was underground from what he could make out.

He kept himself silent at first, walking behind the man who’d taken him from his home. The further he walked into the building, the more he could see that children not much older or younger than himself were training to fight. Whilst academic lessons were still taught, you were also taught how to fight; how to brandish weaponry that when it came to some, he’d never seen before in his life. Was this his life now?

He was still grieving his parents for the first few months and so, took himself to hide in whatever work was needed to be done for him. Years were spent with him quickly getting known to be the lone wolf as he refused to get to know another within the base and instead, focused himself on being the best that he could be. As his eighteenth birthday came about, Faolan was finally sent out on his first mission. It was a relatively easy in, kill and out again, but what Faolan nor HEAVEN knew, was that his eighteenth was also the triggering factor for the Lycan gene that had until then, laid dormant within his body. The mission was under the cover of night. At first, the sky was filled with clouds and Faolan thought nothing of anything but, as he got into the building and began to advance on the target, the moon came out and shone into the windows of the building. The pain of that initial change was excruciating and even years on, he can still remember how it felt like all of the bones within his body were shattering and how it felt like his skin was on fire. The target was still taken out, albeit in a far bloodier way than was initially planned, but with his shift, HEAVEN found their new weapon.

Faolan would go out on other missions with other agents, but higher targets were left until the full moon, leaving Faolan enduring the pain over and over again just to do their bidding. He never argued, however. In fact, he continued on, getting the highest kill ratio in comparison to other agents of his age and level. As a result, Faolan quickly got himself promoted throughout the ranks and became one of their Angels.

Angels were the ones in charge under God; they trained the other agents and put them through their paces before deciding if they were ultimately ready for active duty or if they should be decommissioned ( Oh yeah, everyone has a kill switch within them; implanted into the cerebellum ).

His new Lycan ability meant that his ageing was a lot slower to advance in comparison to humans that came through HEAVEN’s gates. It also meant that he remained there for a considerable time. That was until he met his match with two agents ~ Anastasiya Zakharov & Lien Xao. He was their trainer for a long time and got them into active duty but then they managed to escape and got free of HEAVEN’s hold. Faolan faced being decommissioned for losing them both but, he’d long since tampered with his switch, or at least, his shifting had snapped it, something he’d never let on about to the others. He faked his death as a result and was tossed with the other bodies that were to be sent for burial in an unmarked grave.

It was a location known only by a select few and Faolan had been one of them. He waited until he, along with other bodies were tossed into a pile ready to be put into the grave then, as the diggers were taking their break, he made a run for it. He thanked his Lycan side for giving him the ability to run a lot quicker than what he could ever remember as a boy and vanished before the diggers even noticed.

He couldn’t take himself back to Ireland after everything, even with all of the years that had passed. Instead, he took himself to America, quickly forging himself fake identities to get himself places, along with getting himself contacts that could help him set up a life there; one where he wouldn’t have to worry ever again.

[bunatee]

[sprinting in] in regards to all your OCs

20

especially that second part 👀

Read more because I don't know how to be concise 😅

20. Are they codependent? Do they have abandonment issues?

Azyr is the only one who is capable of maintaining healthy relationships and doesn't have some kind of abandonment issues. (Good for him!)

-

Lily has a lot of abandonment issues and is also pretty codependent. A significant portion of her abandonment issues come from her father's suicide and after she's taken in by the Temple of Kairos, the bishop who becomes a father figure to her essentially gives her away as an indentured servant to the crown. She then latches onto the man who trains her in the 'art of interrogation', but he eventually retires and she feels abandoned by him as well.

After she finally leaves the palace and meets Azyr (in this life) she becomes incredibly codependent with him. Granted, the two of them have gone through a few dozen cycles of death and rebirth and he is almost always the one to die first. Lily is able to remember significantly more about their past lives than Azyr, and it makes for a complicated dynamic between them. Luckily, he is very patient with her and eventually helps her to work through a lot of her issues.

-

Matisse is a mess, I don't want to necessarily say he has abandonment issues from his relationship with his father but it's pretty close. Matisse's father grieved heavily after the death of his beloved wife, and in that grief he neglected his son. The two had been very close, but suddenly Matisse was little more than a reminder of what had been lost. On the cusp of adolescence Matisse began to act out, seeking any attention he could get and it only acted to further deteriorate their relationship.

In romantic relationships he tends to cycle between feeling not good enough for his partners and being overly attached to them and absolutely does fear being left. He also tends to be very possessive, bordering on controlling. This all definitely falls into the codependency category.

-

Serenity is whatever the direct opposite of codependent is. She is intensely independent and is truly capable of surviving on her own without others, and if they leave her that's sad but not the end of the world. This makes for an interesting dynamic once her and Matisse are together, especially seeing as she has very little patience for his antics.

I think she does have something close to abandonment issues. Her mother's culture is very closed off, and because her father is not also a part of that culture Serenity was not accepted into it. As a result she is much quicker to abandon others at the first inkling that she isn't accepted. But this applies more towards larger groups, religion, cliques etc than towards individual relationships.

[aurora1040]

Death is a strange thing when you grow up in a really large family.

I'm not talking about the 'i have 8 siblings' large family, I mean 20+ uncles and aunts in generation 1 and 20+ great uncles and aunts in generation 2, not counting the people they married or the kids they had or the divorces and remarriages. I'm talking BIG family.

Because from the time you are very little, you've been introduced to death. One of my very earliest memories is when my great great grampa died when i was like... what. 5? 4 years old? I'm not entirely sure but i remember it so clearly.

So many of us were packed inside his house that i was sleeping on the floor under a coffee table (or at least, i was supposed to be sleeping). I remember someone opened the door and someone else was complaining about how the draft would make grampa uncomfortable and i remember very clearly how broken one of my Aunts sounded when she said "I dont think he cares anymore." And that was the moment that Grampa died.

I remember going over to see him and how i could almost swear he was still breathing (thanks a lot, brain tricks /s). I remember his ashen face, the way hos mouth was still open, the way his lips were kinda sunken in, and how peaceful he looked. I remember the quilts on his bed that he had made with his own two hands in his younger years.

I still have quilts that he had made in my apartment today that I will probably never be able to make myself get rid of.

I still remember when one of my great great aunts died and was maybe 5 or 6 years old and how long and pretty her white hair was as she laid there in the casket - and noticing again how i could almost swear that she was still breathing.

In big families like mine, we dont have reunions, we have funerals. We would often remark 'i guess i'll see you at the next one' because they happened so frequently and so often that it was the only chance we had to even get together.

Funerals and memorials services are our normal. You grow up learning real quick the do's and don'ts at funerals.

It became so normalized that when i lost my own brother, I didnt cry. And that upset me more than his sudden and early death did. His death is what numbed my ability to cry at funerals, to be shocked at the news, and I've learned to make peace with my lack of emotion. This is just my life. This is just my normal. Filled with death and tragedy.

I dont cry when someone dies. I cry when someone else is grieving. I hurt because someone living is in grief. I dont dread the death, I dread not being there for those whom the death affected most.

And its surreal to me as I watch the number of living family dwindle. I only have one gramma. one grampa. 2 great aunts. The people who are falling victim to death are steadily becoming those who raised me, those who have actively touched my life in significant ways. Despite how used to death I am, its starting to become personal. I'm starting to see how old my parents really are. I'm starting to see the need to keep in close contact with my close yet extended family.

Death is normal to me and yet its starting to not be. its just..... a very weird relationship to have with death.

Anyways, here's to the living. May you always have someone strong you can rely on when its your time to grieve.

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

ok so i’ve been seeing a lot of ideas and victim swaps for sdr2′s 3rd chapter and trial (i was going to say lately but i have no idea how strong this fandom is actually going now so) and i had some ~thoughts~

so the one topic of conversation is that souda, despite being one of the survivors, has no one he was especially close to. Specifically, he is the only one who isn’t mourning the death of a significant person by the end. And there have been a lot of suggestions on how this could’ve been dealt with; and i had an idea of my own that i actually ended up liking so. thought i might as well record it.

also, obviously, if this has been done before, from the bottom of my heart: my bad. i haven’t seen one like this personally, so these are just my own thoughts and ramblings

with that out of the way: 

firstly, let me quickly mention one of the more popular ideas. namely having sonia die instead of hiyoko. instant no there for me; i love souda (whether thanks to fanfics or his character design or actual canon is up for debate tbh) but his behavior towards sonia in the game is, as everyone knows, pretty fucking awful. 

he doesn’t intend to be creepy but that doesn’t change the fact that he is; he doesn’t respect sonia’s individuality, he’s creepily territorial sometimes (i’m replaying the game and i’m just starting the party scene but he’s already threatened to beat up a guy for talking to/walking with her; like dude, chill, you’ve know her for a day) and his admiration for her comes from this strange, worship-esque standpoint. 

simply put, he loves the idea of her, not her herself. this is pretty clear in the game and i don’t think it’ll really change with her death; if anything it’ll be useless because the most he’ll learn is maybe he shouldn’t have been a borderline stalker when she was alive. they weren’t emotionally close at all, he wouldn’t grieve her the way we see the other survivors do. dead sonia would deserve better.

this got twp paragraphs longer than intended. anyway.

the idea i specifically wanna talk about here was, at first, instead of changing any of the victims or culprits, we can take the quicker and relatively easier way of just. changing some character relationships. specifically, developing a friendship between two characters; just have souda be one of the damn victim’s or culprit's friend. 

my first instinct was gundham for,,,obvious reasons, i think, not least because i’ve been seeing a lot of soudham (+ sonia! i forget the ship name) content and it’s influencing me. he dies, souda cries, sonia also cries, they bond. now the survivors are closer, souda probably learns to see sonia as a person, and he has besties besides hajime (who is practically juggling a whole ass harem).

my second, and steadily becoming more preferred, choice, is ibuki. have souda and ibuki be friends!

we’ve seen intense bonding over less; hiyoko and mahiru’s bond, although a pleasant one, was still a sudden surprise to me. it was really nice but, well, kind of random. maybe i just missed signs? but that’s besides the point; the point is they just need a simple starting point and we can snowball from there.

and what better than to start with their most obvious and likely memorable trait? appearances. they can literally start at surface level and work their way in deeper.

have them chat over hair dyes, the brands they prefer, tips and troubles and they can even have those little events we see with the girls baking or mahiru and hiyoko in the bath (what the heck was that by the way), except we see them helping each other dye their hair. they both specifically dye black to pink too, although ibuki of course has more colors. basically just them messing around with hair, coloring and cutting and whatever else they please, along with eyeliner and piercings and clothing.

and then there’s the rest. why they deliberately chose to be so flashy to begin with. their personalities, just as flashy and bright and often overbearing. not being able to really always connect with others their age. their ambitions and fears, and what inspired or caused them. insecurities. dreams. childhood.

ibuki’s passion for her work and inherent confidence and certainty in herself inspiring souda to battle his insecurity. her putting him in his place when he crosses a line; we see she calls him out when she catches on to his schemes at the diner scene in chapter 2 when she pinpoints him coming to see sonia. ibuki teaches him to be friendlier. souda teaches her to cease the energizer-bunny shtick once in a while, reigns her in (although ibuki’s pretty stable i think, at least in comparison to the fellow emotionally constipated lunatics running around in her class). let them connect.

and then let one of them die.

at first i just went with ibuki as usual, and nothing really changes except that desired outcome of souda mourning someone special to him and growing from it.

buuuuuuuuuuuuuut, what if we went ahead and swapped them?

they become close friends, souda dies in chapter 3, and ibuki is then one of the survivors. this could let us kill two birds with one stone honestly; it can set up for both of them to have good arcs.

souda’s can be a subplot leading up to the deadly life where he gradually improves his behavior towards sonia and learns to push past his fears somewhat, even by something small like helping or at least voicing concern/some empathy for nagito when he gets infected, despite having been or even still being so afraid and distrustful of him. he doesn’t have to suddenly become fearless or kind, just better. it’d even fit with hiyoko; both victims being people on the road to self-improvement, tragically cut short.

the difference between the reactions could be fun to explore too; because mikan could derail the case by poking at a wounded ibuki who is a) very vocal and b) might be too focused on souda to focus on the essential clues found on hiyoko, because hiyoko doesn’t have her mahiru to take the role of main griever for her

this could just make the trial interesting and more emotionally impactful and also make despair mikan more compelling than “crazy horny yandere nurse” by playing with targeted people’s emotions plus her own meek act

ibuki’s resulting arc be somewhat like himiko’s from ndrv3 but reversed, where she becomes a bit more grounded and serious but still retains her own spirit after maybe bonding with fuyuhiko; she bounces back pretty well from the last two cases but after being personally invested in this one she might try and fail to still keep going then have that talk fuyuhiko did with akane (”i know how you feel, don’t blame yourself”) and then she can have a healthy breakdown idk (and then they can have that awkward Talk with akane together in chapter 4 and then maybe with sonia and hey this can become a whole trend)

this’ll also nicely wrap up the cast in chapter 6 where they all have someone special to think about (souda’s reason for just wanting to live is obviously super valid but since it’s not really explored this may as well happen instead to complete the set)

and yes this is hardly thought through properly; i have no idea how chapter 4 would play out since souda has a pretty big role in that investigation with his talent, though 5 and 6 would hardly be affected, and this could all be difficult to put in nicely considering how much happened in chapter 2 and how little time for set up there was for 3

most of what i said would have to be casual dialogues, lines in free time events or maybe a special scene if lucky. maybe the weird bath scene coulld be replaced by one with souda, ibuki, mahiru and hiyoko together instead just to really hammer it it; dr loves its heavy handed parallels after all.

but anyway, these are just rambles, and i just really wanted my girl ibuki to see the light of day a little longer lmao.