#grieving peter
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Tony Stark who tells Morgan stories about Peter or Spiderman before bed.
Some of them are real, some of them are made up. They all started out real, but Morgan is a girl who LOVES to ask questions. And she particularly loved to see what Tony thought Spiderman would do in certain made up situations (“Daddy, if there was a monster under my bed, would Spiderman come and save me?”).
After every story, Morgan asks “Is that story true or made up, daddy?”
She likes the true stories the best.
One night, after Tony retells her favorite story for the three thousandth time, Morgan gets unusually quiet. She’s twisting her little hands in her lap, staring down at them with a look far too solemn for her age.
Tony nudges her playfully with his elbow. “Why the long face, huh Mo? You love that story,”
“Umm… well, I wish Petey was still here. I wish I could play with him,” Morgan sighs. The admission hits Tony like a brick, forcing a stinging wetness to his eyes.
“Yeah. Yeah, I wish he was here too.” He manages, clearing his throat. “He would love to play with you, baby. You would love him.”
“I do love him,” Morgan replies naturally, unaware of just how meaningful her words are to the older man. “I love him 3000, even if he can’t play with me.”
#tony stark#morgan stark#iron dad#irondad#im actually a big fan of Tony grieving Peter during the blip#but I can only enjoy it because I know Peter comes back#which is why im in denial and Tony survives the snap#because the only way I can enjoy blorbos sadness is if I know it isnt permanent#im weak like that
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Whenever I remember that
Derek is between 19-21 years old during s1
The Hale fire was 6 years ago
Kate was a woman in her twenties (according to Harris) when the fire happened
Meaning Derek was 13-15 when she groomed and seduced him and killed (almost) his entire family
I feel genuinely nauseous
#did he make the best decisions? no#was he volatile and aggressive? yes#but as someone who also suffers from (c)ptsd I GET it#derek spent all of s1 in fight or flight mode#his last surviving family member (as far as he knows) and ALPHA got murdered#and he cannot even grieve her#isn't allowed to#he's trying to survive the only way he knows how#he is a wolf without a pack#derek makes me want to cry#derek hale#laura hale#teen wolf#teen wolf season 1#peter hale#hale family#hale family feels
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ever think about twelve being so sick of losing people, especially losing people because of their belief in him as a hero, like amy. so he strips off that mask and shows how cold and calculating he is willing to be with lives and he chooses a face that shows his age and stops hiding his danger behind a charming smile or a bow tie. he does it as a kindness, so Clara knows what she's getting into. and she does. and she gets into it anyway. and it makes him even more desperate not to lose her. so he breaks all of his own rules, everything he stood for because just once he didn't want to have to lose someone. he went to the end of space and time the long way round, he beat death and he betrayed the home he spent his life searching for to try save her. for once he chose what he wanted, her, over the universe.
and after all that, all he managed to do was make it so she lost him instead.
#something something death/loss is his constant companion#no matter how far he runs#or how desperate he becomes#also. i know her losing him also very much means he loses her#but my impression from his demeanour in the diner#compared to heaven sent#theres much less of a feeling of grief#more of a hole#hes confused#and can feel something missing#but hes not as deeply grieving as heaven sent#anyway.#going insane abt him.#and how he can never ever win#not really#squids bullshit#doctor who#dr who#twelfth doctor#12th doctor#peter capaldi#heaven sent#face the raven#hell bent#🌌#1️⃣2️⃣#clara oswald
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desperately need to do a presentation on why the Twelfth Doctors journey perfectly represents the transfem experience
their previous eleventh incarnation being suave and hypersexual (i know moffat is mostly to blame but!) is reminiscent of attempts to fit into heteronormative ideals of masculinity. whilst it is not completely insincere, there are obvious signs this does not fit you as a person, it is acted out of desperate need to being seen. as Vastra put it, eleven wore that face, and subsequently that form of masculinity, to be accepted. on becoming twelve, realising even an "idealised" masculinity does not inherently serve them, they retreated into themselves as a person for self-reflection and trying to understand why they feel so detached from who they are.
the "am i a good man" arc mirrors being closeted and having to present as something not inherently tied to your sense of self, but still wanting to be the best of your perceived gender as any failure could leave you spiralling into self-doubt about simply being like any other "man". you ignore your gender dysphoria/questioning by trying to claim a moralistic view of gendered expression. made even more clear by Twelve rejecting Clara's heroic view of them, establishing that even though they have made efforts to be a "good man", that is just a placeholder for their loss of identity.
Missy appearing as she does, who as a character serves as a parallel to The Doctor on what they could become, and her eventual arc in trying to become good is symbolic of the fear around transition regret that internalised transphobia can create when you are closeted. Missy never gives importance to their fem existence other than nonchalant jokes, rather showing a more free and expressive personality devoid of any frustration. this immediately dismisses the transphobic assumption that trans people are only focused on their gender. also, Missy representing trans femininity is inherently tied to chaos and upsetting the status quo, she is the embodiment of what society considers accepting your womanhood as someone previously labelled masculine. what many others, and The Doctor themselves, saw as a need for attention and senseless disruption is Missy not needing to serve a false version of who they are, that they can now focus on becoming whoever they want to be now without losing energy to performing a gender that society has imposed on you. Missy could never have made the decision to stand with The Doctor if she had not given importance to her own queerness.
it wasn't coincidence with meeting Bill, she was the perfect foil for The Doctor to finally let go of their anxious attachment to masculinity. i would even argue for the majority of s10, The Doctor is largely ambiguous in their gender identity and does not fit into any construction of masculinity or femininity. whilst they still present as something socially labelled as masculine, they do not internalise that gender expression. they are uncaring about and not needing the validity that comes with heteronormativity, and thus is free to finally accept the decision they have to make. as Bill says, it is so hard to let go of The Doctor, and that rings true for twelve themselves. but they begin to realise The Doctor can be anyone. yes, they are tired, it would be so easy to simply rest and not give value to who you can become. but choosing to let go of everything you once were to survive is better than oblivion. it is better to let go, to choose another lifetime where the only person that dies is your falsity, to finally get it right and choose kindness. for yourself and for those who you love. they regenerate, not just into another person, but into someone who (if only tv scripts...) can now move forward.
#can you tell the only thoughts i have are of twelve?#this is why im kind of disappointed with the thirteenth doctors arc#like sure they're allowed dimensions as a character and to have dark moments#but there was a chance to show the nuances with relearning how to live and accept joy for yourself#as someone who has grieved and suffered loss and is detached#i know these themes arent just about transhood but dont you think they fit so beautifully?#this makes me want to bounce off the walls#doctor who#dw#twelfth doctor#peter capaldi#12th doctor#thirteenth doctor#jodie whittaker#13th doctor#long post
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cw: grief




#lots to say so little time#Sirius' grieving process is so important to me#because truly they've been ignoring it for so long that this sort of breakdown was inevitable#and it isn't even caused by anything significant#just a few misplaced comments from some stranger because it's been boiling under their skin for so long#that they've become a pressure cooker for their grief#and now the valve has been realeased and they can't rebottle all of their emotions#and the grief that comes from not being able to properly grieve is always worse than grief itself because Sirius has denied themselves thei#grief for so long that now they feel it's almost too late to be able to mourn and that's the thought that upset them the most#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#marauders era#james potter#dorcas meadowes#jegulus#lily evans#marlene mckinnon#mary macdonald#marylily#rosekiller#pandora rosier#remus lupin#wolfstar#regulus black#peter pettigrew#sirius black#soc med#dorlene#soc med: growing sideways
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if you think about it, julie and the phantoms, a show about music and ghosts and family cancelled sorrowfully after it’s first season is still popular and still talked about, by the cast or by their music, they’re still here.
you could say… they’re haunting us.
#the GHOST show that HAUNTS us#talk about meta#we never stop talking about it. we never stop mouring it. we’re still grieving it and it’s been years.#julie and the phantoms#julie molina#luke patterson#alex mercer#reggie peters
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I don’t even know how Bobby and Athena did this to us. Angela Bassett was so not into kissing Peter Krause for like the whole two seasons they started, but they got us, and they got us good, and now we’re in full on grieving mode for another three years. All of the damn… I love you baby’s..and always..and home safe.. and if Bobby isn’t alive what was the damn point!?!?!?!
#911 abc#911 show#why#bathena#Bobby nash#angela bassett#peter krause#Athena grant#I’m hysterical#Grieving
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Bobby x Athena Edit.
also on instagram
#song: multiverse#edit#flash warning#tw flashing#cw flashing#eyestrain#eye strain#tw death#tw grief#tw grieving#911 abc#911 spoilers#angela bassett#peter krause#athena grant#bobby nash#robert nash#bathena
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i’m embarrassed and dying a thousand deaths i really went into that episode thinking okay this is obvi gonna be a fakeout. we’ll all laugh about this later. maybe we’ll even get a buddie crumb as a treat. just a wee smidgin. just a tiny angsty scene of buck calling eddie. this was supposed to be another silly wee woo thursday and bobby would rise back up next ep after easter like a hot catholic dilf-jesus. now look at us………..
#why am i grieving a peepaw#bobby nash you were too hot for your time#tim couldn’t handle allat#911#911 abc#911 on abc#911 spoilers#bobby nash#peter krause
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Films watched (2000s): DEAN SPANLEY (2008) dir. Toa Fraser; screenplay by Alan Sharp. Starring Jeremy Northam, Sam Neill, Bryan Brown, Peter O'Toole, Judy Parfitt & Art Malik.
Only the closed mind is certain.
#dean spanley#gif#tbs old films watched#jeremy northam#peter o'toole#sam neill#judy parfitt#toa fraser#alan sharpe#bryan brown#2000s#period drama#sff#book adaptations#my gifs#henslowe fisk#horatio fisk#mrs brimley#wrather#quotes#i managed to get hold of this last summer on dvd & loved it#it's an adaptation of a lord dunsany novella (which i haven't read)#and is an odd mix of whimsy and grieving very well put together and beautifully played#it's an edwardian-set fairy tale and also a literal shaggy dog story#henslowe fisk (northam) goes to see his father every thursday; they are the only surviving family members#his younger brother & mother having died#his father horatio (o'toole) refuses to display any grief for them or love for him & henslowe becomes determined to break through this#which leads to this exploration of reincarnation and the very weird way that the dean (neill) behaves when given a certain liqueur#that all comes together in a moment of catharsis at the end#anyway; v well done; low-key; funny & sweet & unusual
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i just keep thinking about harley getting to know the truth about why peter is alone and finding out why people don't remember him and for a moment thinking he's glad he got to meet him after everything went down and immediately feel guilt and shame because its not fair peter went through so much pain and had to leave everyone he knew behind but,,,, just thinking about meeting each other before and getting to know peter and then completely forget him makes his feel sick
#but harley my baby you did#there was another crying teenager at the funeral that knew exactly what you were feeling in that moment#you just don't remember him#i feel like the world could have ended right there and peter wouldn't have notice#theres a blank space since the moment tony died until weeks after the funeral so can u blame him for not remembering harley?#they met in one of the worst days of each other's life#i just can't stop thinking about them realizing they met before and being absolutely devastated on how close they were to losing each other#because yes they met they talked and acknowledge their bond with tony but they were grieving#they talked for a couple of minutes but they didn't keep in contact they didn't become friends just like that#but now they can't possibly think about not being in each other's life#and to think they were close to lose that without even realizing it..#ugh im sad don't pay attention to me#once again i do NOT care about the english language so dont bother i know there might be typos#harley keener#parkner#but platonic parkner works just fine too
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hey i just wanna say thank you to everyone for the love on my junoposting recently :)) makes me happy to see the fandom still alive :)
i'm gonna be designing peter next and maybe revamping my rita design :))) stay tuned!
#the penumbra podcast#juno steel#peter nureyev#rita penumbra#rita redacted#buddy aurinko#vespa ilkay#jet siquliak#ruby 7#tpp#the end of the show really got to me and i relistened to the whole show so i could listen to the last season because#i was so late to the party#but i had to grieve the ending before i could fully finish it#it was beautiful and wonderful and perfect in my eyes
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someone please tell me to finish this insomniac parksborn fic it is 3700 words and has been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS
idk if it’s gonna happen though cause now i’m brain rotting about the new usm comics (earth 6160)
#they’re teenagers and they’re silly and harry is grieving and it’s loosely based off of cigarette#harry osborn#peter parker#parksborn#insomniac spider man#spiderman#insomniac parksborn#marvels spider man 2#fanfic#my stuff
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Life carries on in the people I meet
In everyone that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
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i think we miss a lot of content when we ignore Remus’ grief.
does he celebrate James’ birthday? does he go all out like James would’ve or does he settle for a cupcake? does he shut himself in a room and do nothing? did he celebrate his own birthday, it would’ve been a few months after the murder of Lily and James? even if dozens of came to his party, those people would never fill the gap his 5 friends left. does he hear of Regulus’ disappearance and think of Sirius, does he wish to reach out despite the betrayal? does he keep in contact with Peter’s mom?
grief has a tendency to sneak up on you, one day you’re okay but the next you’re clinging to memories that are fading. do you think Remus forgot? do you think he forgot the freckle under Peters eye? the direction Sirius parted his hair? the crooked direction of James’ nose? the last book he read with Lily? holding onto a memory can be like breaking your hand, after a while it still works just fine, but your grasp will never be quite right.
#sorry for this but i’m grieving and i needed to project#harry potter#marauders#marauders era#marauders fandom#1970s#james potter#remus lupin#sirius black#peter pettigrew#lily evans#marauders headcanon#cw grief#marauders hc#the marauders#regulus black#the marauders era
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Happy Birthday, Kerr Stuart
Non ttte related, but today is my late cat birthday
So i draw my OC who literally gijinka of him.



Kerr passed away in June 2024, my life has not been the same since his passing.
If you were still alive, you'll be 2 years old this year. But oh well, i guess you Will be immortalized as a 7 years old kid in Embodiment Wildcard.
Wish I had more money, wish I had realized your illness earlier... But it's too late, isn't it?
Happy birthday.
Fly high.
And I'm sorry.
#OC#Birthday art#Yeah i named him after Peter Sam's class.#pet death#Grieving#I do have OC story involving him with other OCs who also gijinka of things i hold dearly.#Embodiment Wildcard
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