#gretchen schwartz

[kindheart525]

I put the Breaking Bad cast (and some Better Call Saul characters) into the Hunger Games simulator and played it twice. Here are some highlights:

[izzythehutt]

Just thinking about Gretchen Schwartz and how her marriage to Elliott is an obvious rebound from Walt (her ex-fiancé's less attractive, less charismatic but nicer best friend? I find it impossible to read this as anything but the two turning to each other for comfort after Walt left them, because Elliott does not seem like the kind of guy who would actually go after his best friend's gal while he was in the picture). She and Elliott then went onto have (at least on paper) a dream life and career as a billionaire science tech mogul power couple.

But twenty plus years after said breakup she is also clearly still not over Walt.

She is beside herself with grief when she hears of the cancer diagnosis, when she confronts Walt over him fabricating a story about them paying for his cancer treatment she is more upset over how he's become like this than the lie itself! She's still hurt and confused over the breakup to the point where she's bringing in dates and events and asking oh by the way why'd you abandon me on July 4th 1987 or whenever the hell that happened!

And to cap it all of, even after Walt literally accuses her of stealing his research to make millions and tells her to fuck off, she keeps his duplicity a secret from his wife for him.

[thekimspoblog]

It's time we talk about this.

Everyone's always like "Walt should have just taken Gretchen and Elliot's money. His pride got in the way. He could have just gotten his cancer cured and everything would have been fine"

And sure. That would work if Walt was a different person with a different brain.

But he loved Gretchen. More than he ever loved Skyler. And we don't get a lot of details about what exactly the blow up was between them, but the resentment is obviously still boiling.

If Walt depended on their money, that would mean TALKING to Gretchen and Elliot again. And if he didn't cook meth, Walt's midlife crisis could have taken the form of going back to work for Gray Matter. Elliot seems like a nice guy, but who can really say Walt is wrong, that Elliot would bring him back into the fold, use some of his ideas, and then try to cut him out when he (inevitably) becomes hard to work with?

I don't think Walt taking the money would have ended any better than the cannon timeline. In fact, I could easily see how it would end in a murder-murder-suicide.

So am I saying Walt had NO CHOICE but to do everything he did? No. There was another job opportunity Walt could have taken. But that's a post for another time.

[imgoingtogomissingsoon]

Rating BrBa Characters On How They Hit The Gritty

Walter White

2/10 Absolutely disrespectful.

Jesse Pinkman

8/10 He’s popping his pussy hitting the gritty.

Skylar White

3/10 She’s hip with it but only slightly better than Walt.

Hank Schrader

6.5/10 It’s kinda foul but pity points because he got shot.

Marie Schrader

3/10 She think she hip with it but it just ain’t it.

Flynn White

5/10 He put his heart into it and that’s all that matters.

Holly White

0/10 Disrespectful and utterly foul.

Gustavo Fring

6/10 He did it for charity.

Mike Erhmantraut

5/10 He’d only do it for Kaylee but he’s as sturdy as an old man can get with it.

Saul Goodman

7/10 Sturdy with it. His wife cut it out of the commercial though. :(

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle

1/10 She gets one point more than Holly for mobility but it’s just as disrespectful.

Todd Alquist

6/10 Did it on ——’s grave for the giggle.

Skinny Pete

7/10 Taught Jesse everything he knows.

Badger

9/10 Sturdy and Jesse’s mad jealous.

Combo

8/10 He hopped on the bandwagon and near demolished it if it weren’t for Badger.

Tuco Salamanca

6/10 Don’t tell him I said that though.

Hector Salamanca

2/10 For a paraplegic he’s still somehow better than Lydia and Holly combined.

Steve Gomez

6/10 Only did it because Hank called him a pussy.

Gretchen Schwartz

4/10 No one is actually sure what they saw.

Elliot Schwartz

4/10 Painstakingly average.

Ted Beneke

5/10 Sturdy but average before his rug tried to take him offline.

Jane Margolis

10/10 She’s perfect.

Victor

7/10 Did it when Tyrus wasn’t looking.

Tyrus

7/10 Was looking when Victor did it and hit it looking him dead in the eye.

Gale Boetticher

4/10 Something about the way he hits it is just average despite his extensive research.

Marco Salamanca

6/10 Pretty sturdy but just ok.

Leonel Salamanca

3/10 On account of no legs. :(

[crustyweirdo]

smash or pass but it‘s pretty much the entire BrBa cast and i‘m adding my weird headcanons (queer edition)

please don’t take this too seriously, these are my preferences and most of the headcanons are obviously jokes. 18+ please!!

Walter White: hell nooo he worked with n*zis and wears those tighty whities. definitely needs pills to get it up

Saul Goodman: smash, i feel like he‘d call me mommy. minus points bc he‘d make dad jokes during it.

Jesse Pinkman: 1000% SMASH HES SO FINE!! would smoke in bed with me after. i feel like he has piercings down there too, don’t ask why. definitely whimpers

Skyler White: had to think abt it a little but i‘d smash, misunderstood queen. lots of aftercare too

Hank Schrader: hard pass. he‘s a cop and has the personality of a paper bag.

Gus Fring: sure! more of a hookup though because i can’t imagine him being kind and gentle. he‘d say no cuz he‘s gay fr

Mike Ehrmantraut: probably not what you guys wanna hear, but smash. call it a guilty pleasure, ik that guy has experience. would focus on my needs first. i‘d do it in his car

Jane Margolis: yes omg are you kidding?! her style is everything and she’s genuinely so hot, i‘d gay panic being in the same room as her. definitely uses toys

Walter Jr: pass, too young for me and i don’t find him that attractive

Marie Schrader: smash! she‘s genuinely so sweet and pretty, perfect balance. hank didn’t deserve her

Todd, Jack and co: hardest pass, i don’t think i have to explain why. would go on about how women don’t deserve rights when they’re on top of me

Tuco Salamanca: no, he scares me. probably into knife play or some weird shit

Skinny Pete: yes! he‘s an acquired taste guys

Badger: probably? this is a hard one, smash if i got paid like 50 bucks. for free if it‘s with pete. but i‘d definitely go on a date with him

Steven Gomez: pass bc he‘s a cop. if i had to choose between him or hank i‘d choose him any day tho

Hector Salamanca: pass, no disrespect. rip Mark

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: i‘m anxious 24/7 so her nervous attitude would make it impossible for me to enjoy it. she‘d accidentally insult me during it in some way

Gale Boetticher: smash because i love his personality. he‘s a keeper, husband material. lasts 2 minutes :(

Combo Ortega: pass i like him but not like that fr

Ted Beneke: hard pass. wouldn’t shut up abt his stupid company for five minutes. he makes really weird sounds during it and asks if you came right after (u didn’t)

Eyebrow Guy: i like hair but not like that

Andrea Cantillo: yesss baby bring it on. easily one of the pretties characters. sadly her personality wasn’t shaped out well in the show

Gretchen Schwartz: i feel like she‘s too smart for me don’t ask why. would absolutely reject me

Elliot Schwartz: maybe if he wears a hat to hide those big ass ears. i‘d do it if he paid me tho

Wendy (blonde meth head): seems very sweet and i love her style but i‘m a fan of hygiene and her teeth are not it

Carmen Molina (principal): yeah i guess, she‘s pretty

Huell & Kuby: pass bc they‘re silly little guys. only come package deal

Donald Margolis: sad guy but seems very sweet. smash? he cries when he finishes

Salamanca Twins: probably never had sex ed, lots of uncomfortable stares… pass

Krazy-8: i don’t remember much of him but going off looks, smash

Jesses Therapy Group Leader: pass, he has those crazy killer eyes

hope you enjoyed! :D

[osthatguy]

Currently working on a BrBa/BCS fic set around 2001.

Chuck and Rebecca are in the midst of separating and he’s still reeling from the idea of Jimmy being a lawyer, so his EHS symptoms are slowly ramping up. Walt is having money troubles after quitting Sandia Laboratories to take more care of Junior with his Cerebral Palsy getting worse, with Skyler also quitting Beneke Fabricators at this time due to the Mr Grabby Hands incident.

Walt secretly attends the courthouse twice a week trawling for a good lawyer. At one point he sees Jimmy defending Kenny the Neo-Nazi but decides against him due to not seeing him as a “real lawyer”. Then, he sees Chuck helping Howard argue a motion and decides they’re perfect. He approaches Howard in the bathroom and asks to talk with him at HHM about a big case, both civil and possibly criminal, to which He agrees. He asks him about fees to which Howard assures him he need only pay an industry-standard deposit and they’ll talk about further fees after they win.

At this time Walt also runs into Mike the parking attendant and they come to blows. Walt eventually pulls the same trick Jimmy does, pushing the button to open the barrier when Mike is distracted and speeding away. But then he realises he needs to get back to the courthouse to talk to Hamlin so he has to take a taxi and hide from Mike as they go in and leave.

That night, Walt reveals to Skyler that he’s going to sue Gray Matter as a Hail Mary. Wrongful termination, intellectual property theft, patent fraud, all the things Jimmy would come up with in Saul Gone. Skyler thinks this is an insane idea and would only serve to drive a wedge between them and Gretchen & Elliot, as well as drown them in fees. Walt tries to assure her, but she comes up with another idea: suing Sandia Laboratories for negligence after that incident with the gas masks she mentions in Cancer Man. Walt reluctantly agrees with that idea instead to make her happy but we all know he doesn’t really mean it.

Walt meets with Howard and Chuck at the HHM building and they get along superbly. Walt outlines what he wants, telling his version of his exist from the company and they agree to take his case enthusiastically, Howard leaving to get the proper forms. With Walt and Chuck sitting in silence, Ernesto enters out of turn and in his rush drops soda cans everywhere. Chuck berates him but Walt calms them down and teaches them the spinning the soda can trick Chuck would go on to teach Howard.

A receptionist calls Chuck out of the room to see Howard and Clifford Main. It turns out Cliff knows Elliot Schwartz and the real story of how and why Walt left and tells them, but they rule to carry on with the suit as it will make a name for them, subtly changing some of the language, dropping the wrongful termination part and resolving to break the news to Walt gently.

However, Walt gets a call from Hank that Junior is very sick and that he needs to hurry home. Chuck offers to walk Walt out, and they get into the elevator to the car park together. It then gets stuck, between the two floors. There’s no cell reception and Chuck remembers there’s no maintenance staff in that day due to a strike (Howard encouraged them to unionise as a PR move).

Chuck can’t touch the landline phone to call the office due to the EHS so he makes Walt do it. He’s told they’re going to make some calls and that they’ll probably be out in an hour or so, meaning they’ll just have to enjoy each other’s company until then.

At first they begin bonding, Walt talking about Junior’s condition and his mother being put into a home, revealing his concerns about being able to provide for his family. Chuck related and talks about his brother’s struggles to start a practise and Rebecca’s unavailability due to a world tour and his work leading to their separation.

However, as the time passes, Walt slowly starts to tear into the concept of EHS, completely deconstructing Chuck’s arguments and delusions. Chuck responds by revealing his knowledge of Walt’s bogus story and begins psychoanalysing him as an arrogant egotist concluding by saying he thinks Skyler can do much better. Offended beyond belief, Walt determines to drop the suit entirely and never work with HHM or anyone named McGill again, which Chuck says is no loss.

Walt has finally had enough and resolves to fix the elevator himself, messing with the wires until the doors open. He crawls through the small opening at the bottom into the car park and leaves. Jimmy watches all of this, as he’s been waiting to pick Chuck up from work. He runs to get some help from a guy he knows and they drive home.

Chuck manages to delude himself into Walt’s scientific expertise being inaccurate or irrelevant due to his personal faults and he and Jimmy laugh about how much of an asshole Walt is.

Calamity with Junior is averted and labelled a false alarm, and Walt double-checks with Marie about EHS being impossible. Walt then vents to Skyler in bed about how much of a dick Chuck is and an idiot Howard is and that from now on he will never speak about this endeavour again or even broach the subject of lawyers to her as long as they live.

We then cut to Walt and Saul in Ed’s bunker during Granite State. Saul’s making himself and Walt tea. As they drink, they start talking about their preferred alcohols, Saul reminiscing for the Moscow Mules and Zafiro Añejos of the old days, while Walt talks up the Dimple Pinch. He mentions his brother-in-law would brew his own lager and Saul mentions how Chuck and Howard would share a Macallan after every big victory, and sometimes Chuck would let him have the rest the next day.

Walt recognises those names and realises this McGill is Jimmy, brother of that asshole Lawyer he got stuck in an elevator with almost a decade ago. He’s surprised he never put 2 and 2 together before. He and Saul share a rare moment of grace shitting on Chuck together before Walt says that, knowing his brother, he’s surprised Jimmy didn’t turn out even worse.

Jimmy feels guilty for ragging on Chuck quite so much and tries to go to sleep. Walt puts the teacups away and is about to call Ed to ask if he has any Whiskey but he’s distracted by a mysterious clicking noise from the water heater.

Credits.

What do we think?

[gilligould]

GRETCHEN SCHWARTZ SUCCESSION???

[creepyjirachi]

Sorry Gretchen from “Say my Name,” the unauthorized Breaking Bad musical

Walter? This is Gretchen Schwartz. We need to talk.

[dynastinoble]

Birthdates for my OCs (as of 2024) [UPDATED]

Kamala Shankar: February 5, 2010

Dionne Cunningham: July 19, 2010

Mel Huang: October 1, 2009

Taylor Metzenbaum: November 17, 2009

Raquel Torres: June 26, 2010

Quinn Walsh: March 30, 2010

Padam Mahajan: April 25, 2010

Evan Rhodes: September 29, 2008

Judah Becker: September 24, 2009

Gordon Calhoun: March 1, 2010

Maeve Hayworth: November 3, 2009

Olympia Drake: May 23, 2010

Calliope Reyes: April 4, 2010

Rebecca Clemens: October 6, 2010

Mindy Moretti: June 15, 2008

Harsha Kapoor: April 20, 2009

Lavender Ionakana: January 13, 2007

Emma Sands: March 12, 2009

Giselle Ortiz: May 5, 2008

Vanessa Chen: November 15, 2006

Evan Rhodes: February 25, 2010

Isaiah Sweeney: June 14, 2010

Michelle Boggs: April 7, 2010

Diego Rodriguez: July 9, 2010

Genesis Lin: March 23, 2010

Jocelyn Mendez: November 1, 2009

Kapil Balakrishnan: December 24, 2009

Chase Powles: January 24, 2010

Eli Goodburn: April 3, 2010

Deja Bright: November 27, 2008

Amaya Hicks: June 14, 2009

Kehlani Loomis: August 7, 2009

Teyana Garcia: October 20, 2008

Lennox Walsh: January 17, 2009

Pattie Mariens: April 26, 2009

Kumit Sharma: January 3, 2002

Amber Donahue: May 13, 2011

Natalie Metzenbaum: April 24, 2007

Oz Metzenbaum: June 30, 2016

Jamal Cunningham: August 10, 2005

Ava Huang: January 24, 2012

Kaylee Huang: November 14, 2014

Malik Nelson:

Tamika Underhill: February 10, 2010

Esther Knight: October 24, 2009

Darby Dale: January 21, 2010

Michelle Werkheiser: March 8, 2010

Bailey Turner: May 19, 2010

Yamini Patel: April 23, 2008

Brooke Seong: May 14, 2009

Samuel Donnelly: January 10, 2009

Natasha Connors: November 14, 2007

Delilah Samson: July 23, 2008

Logan Kang: March 6, 2007

Pandora Barrett: April 12, 2008

Cameron Radcliffe: June 16, 2008

Zaria Bakir: June 15, 2010

Alyssa Guevara: May 4, 2010

Kat Mendoza: October 19, 2008

Shiloh Xiang: January 14, 2007

Peyton Rojas: December 20, 2006

Trevor Schermerhorn: April 19, 2009

Henry Dobson: March 23, 2008

Julia Bermudez: June 26, 2009

Agnes Rattakul: November 3, 2008

Mrs. Gladys Nicholson: April 26, 1989

Autumn Schwartz: October 21, 2010

Trinity Bender: June 14, 2009

Claire Nakamura: February 7, 2009

Junebug James: February 3, 2011

Jessica James: June 18, 2008

Joshua James: April 14, 1986

Vanessa James: March 2, 1987

Benny Trainor: November 11, 2010

Ace Davis: May 3, 2008

Gretchen Pepperman: June 21, 2011

Dani Mendoza: April 16, 2011

Kennedy Tucker: June 23, 2009

Megan Waldorf: April 7, 2009

Janiyah Mathis: October 14, 2008

Cyndi Gutierrez: August 2, 2009

Anjali Banerjee: September 28, 2008

Benny Doohan: May 23, 2009

Tori Nguyen: February 29, 2008

Marlowe Risner: April 15, 2008

Diego Suarez: January 4, 2009

Deepti Goldberg: January 15, 2012

Pooja and Ishaan Goldberg: June 24, 2010

Radhika Goldberg: April 6, 2016

Sonali Goldberg: November 7, 1986

Dean Goldberg: February 13, 1986

Ronnie Vasquez: November 22, 2011

Billie Carpenter: April 7, 2012

London Byrne: June 24, 2012

Fatima Farooqi: February 14, 2012

Maya Guzman: March 10, 2012

Valerie Wonda: September 26, 2011

Natalia Sangthong: December 4, 2011

Graham Demopoulos: April 16, 2012

EDIT: Added the Teen Force Seven characters, Chase and Eli characters, The Black Babes characters, Theatre Club Kids characters, The Thornton Heights Trio characters, The World According to Junebug characters, Kennedy and Megan characters and Dear Deepti characters since they're my OCs.

[izzythehutt]

It's in-universe canon fact that you don't ever "get over" Walter White, the best you can do is survive him

[jxrm]

book log - 2022

his last wife by gia pere

a very merry bromance by lyssa kay adams

behind the messages by ella-may williams

the wife upstairs by rachel hawkins

pride, prejudice, & turkish delight by k.c. mccormick ciftci

the long way to a small, angry planet by becky chambers

honeymoon for one by rachel bowdier

let it snow by beth moran

resting scrooge face by meghan quinn

window shopping by tessa bailey

the family upstairs by lisa jewell

poster girl by veronica roth

x by sue grafton

queen bee by nina manning

the vibrant years by sonali dev

untamed by glennon doyle

book lovers by emily henry

the zookeeper's wife by diane ackerman

daisy darker by alice feeney

mating in captivity by esther perel

miss meteor by tehlor kay mejia

carrie soto is back by taylor jenkins reid

a good girl's guide to murder by holly jackson

the lesbiana's guide to catholic school by sonora reyes

fat chance, charlie vega by crystal maldonado

lakelore by anne-marie mclemore

you love me by caroline kepnes

happiness for beginners by katherine center

not my daughter by barbara delinsky

last tang standing by lauren ho

no filter and other lies by crystal maldonado

the southern book club's guide to slaying vampires by grady hendrix

does my body offend you? by mayra cuevas

i'm the girl by courtney summers

the expatriates by janice y.k. lee

emily, gone by bette lee crosby

after hours on milagro street by angelina m. lopez

i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

my best friend's exorcism by grady hendrix

#murderfunding by gretchen mcneil

looking for jane by heather marshall

midwife murders by james patterson

final cut by s.j. watson

darling rose gold by stephanie wrobel

all the pretty people by barbara freethy

when i was you by minka kent

been there, married that by gigi levangie

malibu rising by taylor jenkins reid

covery story by susan rigetti

the paris apartment by lucy foley

stiletto sisterhood by fallon demornay

her perfect secret by t.j. brearton

take a chance on me by beth moran

the watcher girl by minka kent

no conscience by phil m. williams

reminders of him by colleen hoover

her last move by john marrs

we were dreamers by simu liu

the book of cold cases by simone st. james

all i stole from you by ava bellows

violeta by isabel allende

once of us is next - karen m. mcmanus

just the way you are by beth moran

the latecomer by jean hanff jorelitz

klara and the sun by kazuo ishiguro

the sorority murder by allison brennan

one italian summer by rebecca serle

what lies between us by john marrs

the maid by nita prose

sex and vanity by kevin kwan

funny you should ask by elissa sussman

the seven day switch by kelly harms

three perfect liars by heidi perks

everything must go by camille pagan

no ex before marriage by portia macintosh

the other mother by carol goodman

california girls by susan mallery

one little secret by cate holahan

apples never fall by liane moriarty

the promise by teresa driscoll

ghost boy by martin pistorius

close to you by ana jolene

oona out of order by margarita montimore

the stepson by jane renshaw

all adults here by emma straub

his & hers by alice feeney

mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia

anatomy by dana schwartz

the resting place by camilla sten

will by will smith

good me, bad me by ali land

while we were dating by jasmine guillory

the lion's den by katherine st. john

when we left cuba by chanel cleeton

left neglected by lisa genova

the suspect by fiona barton

park avenue summer by renee rosen

group therapy by b.b. easton

the half sister by sandie jones

shipped by angie hockman

when we were sisters by emilie richards

the chain by adrian mckintu

not a happy family by shari lapena

clap when you land by elizabeth acevedo

if the shoe fits by julie murphy

the girlfriend by michelle frances

let me hear a rhyme by tiffany d. jackson

death by dumpling by vivien chien

yoga pant nation by laurie gelman

the cousins by karen m. mcmanus

in a holidaze by christina lauren

people we meet on vacation by emily henry

the candy house by jennifer egan

you've been volunteered by laurie gelman

broken by jenny lawson

you can't be serious by kal penn

the final girl support group by grady hendrix

home before dark by riley sager

one of us is lying by kate m. mcmanus

the vanishing half by brit bennett

the cross and the switchblade by david wilkerson

the henna wars by adiba jaigridar

the fashion orphans by randy susan meyers

the good girl by mary kubica

the comeback by ella berman

the magician's nephew by c.s. lewis

the bright lands by john fram

[thekimspoblog]

My WIPs (or at least the ones I can remember)

Portal:

"Opera Beneath Aperture": Where the Geekenders version is vaudeville, mine is more pop-opera in the style of "Phantom" or "Wicked". Basically just remixing the soundtrack and adding lyrics. There will be comedy, but at the end of the day, playing the melodrama of "Portal 2" straight is just easier. (Progress 30%)

"Rat Race": An homage to the US "The Office", but one by one the characters are axed off as Aperture becomes a more and more dystopian place to work. (Progress 10%)

"Portrait of a Lady: A Romanticized Horror": Prequel character-study on Caroline, obviously. She's preppy like Kim, but being born in the 1930's she's more sexually repressed, and therefore even more of a manic-pixie-nightmare-girl. She blacks out and murders her gynecologist for malpractice in Chapter 3; yeah it's that kind of a story. Also she's pretty racist? To the extent that any person from that era running a dystopian secessionist megacorporation would have to be. (Progress 50%)

Better Call Saul:

"Sheepdog": A traumatic event causes Kim to question the nature of her own reality. We the fans love Kim... but we do not respect her. (Progress 50%)

"Slippin Kimmy": This is my SERIOUS entry for what I think should happen next in the story. Basically a lot of white-hat Heisenberging around. She stops a shooting at a Planned Parenthood in episode 2; yeah it's that kind of a story. If that's what "WYCARO" ends up being, I'll be happy. If not? Hey it's free money, Vince. I'll just leave it on the table 'til you're done being done again. (Progress 5%)

"Last Clear Chance Doctrine": In 6x05 Jimmy calls Kim to say he's going to be late; Howard wants to fight him in the ring. Kim says she'll be right over. (Progress 0%)

"Just Take the Money": Parallel "Breaking Bad" timeline, where Walt accepts Eliot's hand-out. It'll make you wish he had stuck to cooking meth. I'm probably going to include a subplot where Saul bangs Skyler cus it makes me smile. (Progress 0%)

Crossovers/Other:

Steven Universe: "Warp Congestion": Steven figures out how to remove his gem and live as a normal human for extended periods of time. And if you think this sounds like a contrivance to write Rose Quartz back into the story... it is! Pearl was supposed to hold onto the gem for the day, but as the administrative headaches of helping to keep Little Homeworld organized pile up, Rainbow Quartz starts to revert back to v 1.0. (Progress 5%)

Steven Universe: "Roughhousing": You ever have those moments with your spouse, where one minute you're joking around and everything seems fine, and then one little comment gets taken wrong and suddenly everything gets a bit ugly? Even Ruby and Sapphire have those moments. And it made for one hell of a night at Beach City Underground Wrestling. (Progress 100%... but it's in the format of a Torts practice exam. Yes really)

Barry: "A Plan for Sally": My OC, Rita, has been going around to various netflix shows and selling life-insurance and family planning policies to the love-interest characters in crime dramas. Well, Rita will call them "insurance policies"; what they really are are Faustian bargains. If you thought the ending to "Barry" was weird, rushed, or maybe even a little saccharine, Rita is why. (Progress 0%)

Midnight Mass: "The Girl Who Ate the World": Erin Greene wakes up lying in the grass to find herself - not just alive - but sparkling in the sun like a million little diamonds. It's a miracle! Second only to the bad-miracle of news that the Angel survived and is transforming people in the Portland subway system as we speak. Rita is in this one too. (Progress 50%)

"Crack Fic: Torts and Torts": Kim Wexler, Dolores Abernathy, and Love Quinn attend a mobwives convention in Napoli. After a few drinks, Kim and Love get into a tense conversation about dead brothers, and more specifically when/how a spouse is at-fault for the death of a brother-in-law. Kim forgets the argument after she sobers up, but Dolores warns her to watch her back. Sure enough, Love attacks Kim with a katana and they must battle it out as frenemies. (Progress 2%)

"300 Million Cowboys": I re-write Better Call Saul as a pulpy beach-read about vampires. With enough changes to the plot that it can be legally sold on Kindle. Kim is now named Jean Troy. Jimmy is now named Sammy McCormick. Mike and Chuck have been merged into one character. Kevin and Howard have been merged into one character. (Progress 2%)

[kitty-the-wizard]

emo jimmy mcgill/saul goodman au storyline (by me) FLASHING GIF

It's 1960, Jimmy is born. this same year, The Beatles are formed and (obviously) go viral across the universe (lol). Jimmy grows up listening to The Beatles and in 1967 he hears "I Am The Walrus" on the radio. Young Jimmy totally loves this weirdcore ass song and jams every time he hears it. Fast forward to 1984, Jimmy is 24, and Gray Matter forms. They release a post-hardcore "emo" album called "Food For Thought". Jimmy has been going crazy for a few years, getting into trouble, and listening to music that Chuck wouldn't agree with. He stumbles upon Food For Thought at the music store and buys a cassette. He dances all the way home. He gets to song 10 and hears a familiar sound...

He flashes back to being 7 years old, listening to "I Am The Walrus" by The Beatles for the first time. He hears Gray Matter shred the cover and he is fully converted to emo-ness. No more messing around...he will show Chuck who is slippin'!!!!! Meanwhile...a trio of scientists named Walter White, Elliot Schwartz, and Gretchen [Schwartz] are forming something...magnificent...Gray Matter Technologies...

[I OWN THIS SPECIFIC THINGY!!!!!!]

[38snub]

walt: fuck elliot and gretchen schwartz

jesse: Who

walt: exactly

unbelievably hilarious how walt went his entire life seething and obsessing about gray matter and the fortune they supposedly cheated him out of and probably looked up the net worth of the company like every night before going to bed and then pitching a fit about it in front of jesse only for him to say he's never even fucking heard of gray matter before

[corgoship]

1×03 // 3×06