#great so ! i must sleep now as i have to be up at 4am

[helluvapoison]

Hi! I feel a little awkward bc I’ve never asked anonymously but I really wanted to ask this but wasn’t comfortable enough to ask regularly, but I really enjoy your hazbin works and the hyperfixation has been gripping me HARD and I wanted to see what you’d think of a Lucifer x Reader where they have a sort of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts vibes, where Reader is his personal assistant and what your thought on that are?

~✨

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

i put my thoughts at the bottom :3c

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

• As his colleague, Lucifer is rather frustrating. He hired you as his personal assistant but won’t let you assist

• In the beginning, the most he’ll ask of you is if you know where something is. The answer is usually in his hand or line of sight. Without making him feel dumb, you simply retrieve it for him

• It doesn’t go unnoticed by Lucifer either. He praises you often and in the form of a soft, “What would I do without you?”

• “I’m sure I don’t want to find out, Mr Morningstar.”

• Maybe it takes a minute for the initial “I’m working for the King of Hell” shock to wear off and when it does you realize it was clouding your judgment. Lucifer truly does require your help but he’s incapable of asking for what he needs; it’s up to you to step in and make necessary decisions on his behalf

• That’s what he’s paying you for, right?

• You tell him exactly what’s going to happen before you do it so he’s not caught off guard. He still is. Baffled, really, that you got so ballsy overnight

• Let the banter and boundary pushing begin. Nothing major! You just keep to your word, continuing your courageous streak

• Plucking all the sticky notes off the wall and collecting the ones that were so old they dropped to the floor, you spend an entire day sorting through them. You give his schedule a must needed update and sync it to both your phones so either of you could make changes and be alerted to it

“Why do I need your play-by-play?” He asks teasingly

“So you don’t call me at 4am because you forget I’m not here. Y’know, like last time.”

• Oh yeah, personal space and boundaries cease to exist between you. He’ll sit right next to you, or pull your chair closer to his. When he’s bored, he’ll sit right on your desk

• When he brings you to meetings, which is always because you’re supposed to be focusing on his behalf, he leans in and makes jokes that have you pressing your lips together to be quiet

• “I need to take notes,”

• “And you’re doing great, now jot down how Asmodeus’ shirt is on backwards,” He snickers

• Texting outside your shifts is a regular occurrence. Messages sent back and forth until it’s beyond sleeping hours and you tell him to go to bed

• “See you in 3 hours.” He texts back like he’s counting down (he is)

• Miraculously, you covered all corners of his (rather empty) mansion. Nothing was off limits to you except Charlie’s old room. You made sure dishes left his room or office and made it to the kitchen, checks for the house staff went out on time, supplies were stocked, etc.

• You take paperwork off his desk, screen and divert miscellaneous calls to your phone instead of his, overall taking unnecessary weight from his shoulders. You go as far as to pencil in mealtimes. It’s appreciated even though he’d still forget if you weren’t around

• “I’m beginning to suspect you’re underpaid,” Lucifer partially jokes

• You’re really, really not

• Sure, he spouts his stream of consciousness and it’s up for you to decipher what’s important and what’s just him sharing random details. Yes, he has you sit on his chair while he gestures wildly and explains the mechanics of something you don’t understand just because he’s excited about it. And yes, maybe, you spend too much time in his house than your own

• But you’re disgustingly overcompensated. You thought he made a mistake when you saw your paycheck. If not by actual money, Lucifer spoils you rotten in ways he definitely shouldn’t and doesn’t for his other employees

• “You deserve it for putting up with me,” His voice is laced with more adoration than acceptable, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

• You haven’t been doing it for the money in a long time

• The two of you have been teetering over the line of professional and inappropriate, praying, begging really, to fall on the side of the latter

• You almost kill him when you say you want to quit. Lucifer’s ready to offer you Hell on a golden platter if you’ll stay

• “It’s not about the money. I-I can’t do this anymore, I feel like a gold digger and I hate it! I don’t want to be your assistant, I want more and I–”

• Lucifer heard more and is struck with the overwhelming urge to kiss you

• “How much more?” He asks instead, voice cracking in anticipation, “If it’s in my power, it’s yours for the taking.”

• “Mr Morning—“

• “You want more? I can give you more. I can give you everything, anything, just tell me what you want. I know I’m a mess but I can be better! I can— I can,” Lucifer scrambles to find something, his wild eyes searching the air between you for anything you haven’t already done for him. He sighs, “I can be better, I promise…”

• “Because I want more too. I want to take you on cheesy dates, I want to have you beside me everywhere I go, I want all of Hell to know you’re mine. I want you to come here and stay here because you want to!” He wheezes and tugs at his collar, “And now I feel like want isn’t a word anymore because I’ve been saying it too much— do you ever do that? You say it over and over again and it starts to.. to…”

• He stares at your hand, placed softly over his to stop him from clutching at his clothes. Oh fuck, he can’t breathe

• “You’re really working for that pride title, aren’t you?” You tease softly, smoothing out the wrinkles in his vest before stealing his other hand, “Tell me more about what you want, Mr—“

• “Lucifer,” He all but begs

• “Lucifer,” You hum and he shivers, “What else?”

• “Don’t leave me,” He breathes, “I’ll be better.”

• “You’re already enough.”

• Painfully aware of how close the two of you have become, Lucifer struggles to keep your eyes locked with his. Your lips look so enticing, they always have

• His voice is quiet, almost broken, when he says, “I—I need you to say it.”

• “I won’t leave you. I’m still quitting though,” You smile, hovering over his lips, “So you’ll have to find a different way to compensate me.”

• “Pfft. Easy peasy,”

• He says nonchalantly as if he hasn’t tripped over nothing imagining your lips on his before. It’s nothing compared to the real thing

• Once again, you’re overcompensated

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ hello hi ✨! you’re getting a kith, c’mere. I absolutely see the vibes you’re going for and I am here for it!

i think tony and pepper are hilarious and adorable but i recognise it isn’t the healthiest of relationships out there. i know that’s not what you were implying at all though! the flirting, the bizarre requests, the shameless spending, the nonstop talking, the nonexistent boundaries, the devotion– yes, i see it i see it i see it!

i don’t think lucifer would raise his voice (not to you, anyways) you could get away with actual murder and that’s before he realizes his feelings for you. he can get rid of a body easily

lucifer may (like tony) forget the day of important dates but when he realizes, he makes up for it completely! he feels awful about it

if you look at something for 3 seconds too long, he’s buying it. if you show him something, he’s buying it. if he thinks you want it, he’s buying it

(like pepper) you definitely do put up with a lot of similar antics behind them though are good intentions and lucifer’s better at accepting fault. so if they genuinely upset you, he’ll find a way to mend it... usually it goes over the top

there’s really nothing lucifer wouldn’t do for you, it just takes some reminding that you’d do the same for him

[gremlin-girly]

Flufftober Day 18

@flufftober Alternate prompt: "I got you"

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x gn!Reader

Tags/warnings: FLUFF, a lil mutual pining, friends to lovers, cat dad!Bucky, gn!reader, awkward situations with a pan (I don't want to give away the plot), mentions of a family emergency (not described).

Obligatory on mobile and not beta'd so I apologise for any mistakes!

Summary: Your friend Bucky Barnes cat sits for you when you have an emergency. However, after one little accident, you come back to the strangest welcome ever. Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: This is a follow up story to day 1. I actually have a plan for this now so I will post the collection once it's finished.

Onto more important things, today is my birthday! Here marks another year of being ... me, ig. -love Grem x

Part 1 | Part 2 (You're here!)

Prev | Next | Masterlist

When you had asked Bucky to cat sit Apollo, you weren't sure if he'd agree. You were friends, well, coffee-buddies but you weren't sure if it was too big of an ask.

You'd known Bucky for two months now. After finding Alpine for him, you'd begun to have regular playdates at eachother's apartments with your respective fur babies and sharing stories and discussions over coffee. You'd been texting more recently too. Sending eachother videos from Tiktok and YouTube, or articles on cat caring tips (occasionally branching out into a topic you had briefly discussed).

Nevertheless, when you had a family emergency and called Bucky, he'd immediately agreed. You'd thanked him profusely and he kept saying it was no problem. After all, he knew Apollo. Apollo knew him. Alpine and Apollo enjoyed being around one another so it was like one big play date for them. You told Bucky he could take your bed but he'd refused, insisting the sofa was fine and if he needed to he'd head home to his apartment for a few hours sleep.

You'd left in a rush, kissing Apollo's head goodbye, then Alpine’s before giving Bucky a strange, awkward pat on the arm.

"It'll be alright doll, promise." He reassured you, giving you a small smile. You smiled wryly back as you headed out the door.

"I hope so."

The day you left all was well. It was the days following that were absolute hell.

The second day you were gone, Apollo was now restless. He'd jumped onto Bucky's sleeping form at 4am, startling him awake. It only got worse after that.

Apollo paced around the apartment, miaowing loudly the whole day. He walked over Bucky's laptop while working on a mission report, typing random letters and numbers all over the word document. Bucky huffed at him, but he was hardly annoyed. If anything his heart melted over the display. Bucky had sent you photos and videos of the displays of neediness, to which you had texted your thanks with any updates.

You: He's never been like that with anyone before.

You: You must be special Buck :)

Bucky's heart fluttered at your texts. He had been enjoying to get to know you these last two months; even more so knowing that Alpine had liked you too. He had been trying to find a way to develop your relationship, maybe by asking you for more than a coffee or a kitty playdate. It had been hard to find the courage to ask and everytime seemed like the wrong time. Especially now that you were probably worried sick over your family.

On the third day, you had told Bucky you weren't sure how long you were going to be. Maybe another two or three days. Great.

Apollo had already woke Bucky up at 4am again and was desperately vying for his attention. Bucky scratched the back of his ear, letting Apollo settle onto him with a rumbling purr.

"I got you, pal." Bucky said quietly, trying to fall back to sleep. "I got you."

By the afternoon of the third day, Alpine was on duty for Apollo care. Bucky had already lost him in the morning after feeding him and had found him curled up on your bed. After ensuring the door was shut, Bucky had to leave for a quick briefing with Sam, leaving Alpine in charge.

Alpine had tried cuddling with Apollo, cleaning his fur in an attempt to relax him, but that was in vain. Her tail twitched in annoyance as the younger cat bounded around the apartment, discontent that his paw-rent was missing.

He'd wrestled her, bit her, meowed at her and her patience was wearing thin. It wasn't until he'd clambered up Bucky's leg on his return, that Alpine vocalised her annoyance to Bucky; who patted her head and told her it was only for a little while longer. She was beginning to rethink her and Apollo's grand plan entirely.

On the fourth day of your depature, Bucky was working from your kitchen counter with a freshly brewed coffee. Again, he'd been woken at 4am. This was his third coffee of the morning.

Tired was an understatement.

Bucky sighed, running his flesh hand over his face. Apollo bumped his face against the back of his palm, mewling softly. He hadn't left Bucky's side all morning, following him like his shadow whilst Alpine scowled from her perch on the cat tree you'd bought for them.

"Hi Apollo." Bucky murmured as Apollo bumped him again, rubbing up against his hands with his thing tail curling around Bucky's face. Apollo turned on his tip toes (tip toe-beans?) and repeated the action again. Bucky tried to be agitated but he found he couldn't. Apollo had never been nearly as affectionate as this with him in the last two months, so he must really be missing you. Although, Bucky had to admit, he was feeling the void of your absence too. Not being able to text you as often was more frustrating than he'd thought it'd be. He wondered how you were doing... maybe he should text you again? Just to make sure of course.

As he's lost in thought, Apollo’s leg brushes against Bucky's mug and with a startled kick, Apollo knocks the mug over.

All over Bucky.

Bucky jumps to his feet with a yell, startling both cats who disappear instantly. Bucky curses, tugging at his shirt and trying to clamber out of his jeans that are covered in scalding hot coffee. It's worse that he looks like he'd pissed himself, but those were his last clean clothes that he'd worn back from his apartment the night before after meeting with Sam.

Bucky huffs inspecting the red welts from the coffee that had been left on his stomach, thankfully avoiding any lower. He paces to your washer and tosses in the ruined jeans and white shirt. You weren't back for another two days. He'd have to just wash his clothes and be in his boxers for today. Great. Just great. Oh well, it could have been worse.

Click.

It got worse.

Bucky has seconds to react as the lock to your apartment clicks and you swing open the door. He grabs the nearest possible thing to cover himself with, a frying pan, and attempts to move out of sight.

Your halfway through the door when you meet Bucky’s wide, fearful blue eyes and red face. You stop and stare.

He stares back.

"That's my good pan," you say dumbly. You're not sure what you've walked into but it's the weirdest welcome home you've ever had.

Bucky makes a strangled noise in his throat. You probably wouldn't want to ever see him again, let alone go on a date. The earth should just tear open and swallow him whole. How could he even begin to explain this without sounding like a moron?

You avert your eyes and shut the door behind you. You want to burst into a fit of laughter but are trying to hold back for Bucky's sake; he looks ready to combust. You see the mug and coffee spill over the counter and the violent tumble of the washer allows you piece together what happened.

You point at the mess on the counter, looking over to him. "Spill your mug?"

"Yes." Bucky gritted out, gripping the pan so tightly he thought he might snap the handle. He's still looking at the floor, unable to meet your eyes.

"Okay." You nod. This was such a strange situation to navigate.

Apollo chirped, brushing against your leg and Bucky glared at him.

"Hi baby," you say softly, picking him up to cradle him in your arms. You take note that his paws are wet and smell like coffee. "Ah, you were not well behaved for Bucky I see."

Bucky clears his throat. "How - uh - was your family?..."

Your lips twitch again as you fuss Apollo.

Don't laugh. Don't laugh.

Bucky is trying so hard to be nonchalant as if he isn't half naked in your kitchen, covering himself with a frying pan.

"Good," you respond, biting your lips again trying to suppress a laugh. "Stay there."

You let Apollo jump to the floor and head to your room quickly, reappearing with a soft and fluffy bathrobe that you hand to Bucky. He takes it with his free hand, face the colour of a raspberry.

"You owe me a LOT of coffee for this." You tease, turning away so he can slip on the bathrobe with some semblance of privacy. And place your good pan back onto the stove.

Bucky groans softly, tying the robe tightly at his waist. "I'll do you one better, how about I owe you dinner?"

Your eyebrows raise and you smile, turning back to him to respond with an excitable yes but when you turn to look at him, the laughter you had tried to suppress escapes you, and you burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

Bucky's surprised, and a little hurt; still embarassed and vulnerable from this whole ordeal. You're gasping for breath in front of him, hands on your knees. You know you should respond but you're struggling too.

Somehow the robe looks worse than him being half naked. It barely brushes the middle of his thighs and is so fluffy he looks like he's wearing an oversized fur coat. Your howling starts to make Bucky chuckle, but when your gleaming, teary eyes meet his, he's laughing along with you.

"I'd love to go to dinner." You say finally, wiping tears from your eyes and sighing as you regain the ability to breathe. "Sorry I didn't tell you I'd be home early. I didn't expect you to be here."

Bucky's stomach flips in excitement. You'd said yes. Even thought he'd protected what little dignity he had left with your good pan.

"Yeah, sorry about... the pan."

That starts you giggling again, the image of his shocked face and the pan in front of him etched into your memory forever.

"How about we order some take out and watch a movie? I don't think I'll be using my pan anytime soon." You straighten up, your own cheeks a little rosy. "We can go out another time. But you can let your clothes dry, at least."

"Take out's good." He nods, grinning at you. "And that's a good plan."

You both take a moment, admiring eachother quietly before Bucky adds,

"Do you have anything longer I can wear, though?"

[berylcups]

haiiiii :3 could i perchance request some melone headcanons......... any kind of headcanons, that's totally up to you!! im in need of more content of my favorite purple haired freak :3

Melone HCs?! Now how can I say no to that? 😄 I’ve thought long and hard about this purple blorbo and squeezed all of my thoughts out on here! I hope you enjoy my interpretation of this adorable freak! 💜 Beryl

🍈Melone HCs🍈

CW: This IS Melone we’re talking about so…. Beware the lewdness!

Notes: this is technically number 2 in my list but I thought I’d send this one out first since it got completed first. And it will give you all something to nibble on while I finish up number 1 and start on number 3! 😄 I hope you all enjoy ! 💜 Beryl

This guy sucks at cooking. The most he can do is microwave ramen, Mac and cheese, and boil pasta. 😭

He genuinely thinks pineapple is an ok topping for a pizza. Not bad not great…just OK. The squad is offended and speechless about his apathy of fruit being on a pizza . But his rebuttal is-tomato is a fruit and it’s on a pizza. Someone needs to hold Ghiaccio back because he’s ready to THROW HANDS.🙌

He’s the biggest Anti-hydro homie ever. He HATES drinking plain water. 💧 He only drinks coffee, tea, soda, energy drinks, juice, and alcohol. How does he have clear skin?! He uses lots of trendy face creams and just has good genetics. Lucky bastard.😩

He thinks cola and root beer is the nastiest drink imaginable. He calls it the “black bile” based off the 4 humors of the human body.

He forgets to eat…It’s so bad that he gets a little snarky and Ghiaccio kindly reminds him by saying “oi Melone! Quit acting like a cunt and go eat something for fucks sake!”

He stays up ridiculously late. If he’s not pulling an all-nighter, he’s going to bed by 4am.

He sleeps in his underwear…and it’s a thong. 😳 he used to sleep nude but he also sleeps walks occasionally and nobody wants to see his junk so the team forced him to AT LEAST sleep in underwear!

Believe it or not, his natural hair color is purple! He only dyed it blonde to disguise himself for a mission.

He lost his tonsils from getting too many strep throat infections as a kid. He wanted to keep the removed tonsils but his mom said no. 😞

He’s not hairy but he does wax his entire body. No razor, no hair removal creams…just good ol wax. Ouch. 😬 his skin is as smooth as a dolphin.

His perfume/cologne smells like cucumber melon, green tea, and a citrus blend. Mmm…He’s fruity smelling!

He has a insane 4-5 step system when he washes his hair. He’s used to the warm water going cold on him in the middle of his showering routine. He must put up with the chills in order to have the best hair in the squad! …illuso totally isn’t seething with jealousy btw.

Melone was born and raised in Venezia with Ghiaccio as his best friend growing up. His venetian accent isn’t heavy like Ghiaccios.

He’s 25 years old and identifies as nonbinary. Melone is pretty lax with his pronouns but identifies as they/them it/its and he/him.

His sexuality? It’s yes please! 😄 He’s on board to get down with anyone! He has no preference when it comes to gender…you just need to have an open mind! Although, there are bonus points to be given out if you’re physically able (and consenting) to bear children. If not, he definitely won’t hold it against you! He’s DTF and ready to sweep you off your feet!

This guy has no ass but he can dance like he has one. Twerking and grinding his way at the club hopefully into someone’s pants. 😳

This inhuman human can swallow a banana WHOLE. He has no gag reflex, the dentists love him. Take that information for what you will.

He absolutely HATES snakes. Just the sight of them will make him gag 😭. He’s cool with other reptiles though. Just keep snakes away from him. 🐍

He can’t tell what he likes more-cats or dogs. He likes cats because they are independent and clean but…they like to scratch. He likes dogs because they’re loyal and friendly but… they can poo everywhere. It’s a difficult decision for him to decide! He’ll settle with a reptile like a chameleon. 🦎

He went to university for Botanical studies. He has a hobby for horticulture and beekeeping.

He also dabbles in astrology and reading fortunes through palm reading. (Usually by licking your hand 😬)

He has shaky hands. He doesn’t have great dexterity due to all the caffeine he drinks. He wants to paint his nails but it always looks messy. 😬 so he’s stuck using clear nail polish unless he has enough money to go to the nail salon. 💅

He’s an avid video gamer. His console of choice is the PC, but isn’t interested the console vrs PC wars. If there’s a game he likes and it’s only available on a certain platform, he’s going to get it. Ghiaccio, Formaggio, and Pesci are welcome to his consoles but they need their own controller. He doesn’t want no cheeto hands in his squeaky clean controllers! (This is mostly a rule for formaggio since he snacks and plays.) And no touching Melones laptop! That’s his baby—Babyface. And there’s cursed things you might find on there. 🥴

He’s the best at rhythm games while Ghiaccio is the best at racing games. They both rival each other when it comes to puzzle games.

🔥 Spicy HCs 🔥

According to him, the first time he ever got an erection was when he saw a high heel shoe ad in his moms Vogue Italia. He stole that page and “discovered “ himself. 😳 his mom did catch him and she tells this embarrassing story to her friends and family and social gatherings. Yikes 😬

This guy eats ass/pussy like groceries. Like a man who hasn’t eaten in DAYS. He’s a part of the clean plate club if you know what I mean. 😏 you don’t? Well uh… he good at oral idk 🤷‍♀️

Majority of the time he is a bottom. He’ll dom if you want him to. He’s a slut he’ll do ANYTHING you want.

His top kinks are feet, latex, body worship, and breeding (giving and receiving).

His favorite position is doggy, reverse cowgirl, and the classic mating press. This goes for him and his partner.

His favorite times to do it is shower time and when you both wake up. There’s just something about lazily screwing you from behind as he spoons you. It’s his drug and reason for living.

Despite his promiscuous demeanor he doesn’t have one night stands often. He much rather find his soulmate.

He prefers to only use surrogates for babyface that he deems “human trash “. The most toxic of the toxic cruelest ueterus havers. He would never use a good person as materials for his stand. He doesn’t have the heart to believe it or not. His apathy only extends to violent cruel people.

When he finds someone he’s interested in he falls hard. He does want to fuck them ASAP but he wants to treat them like the monarch like they are.

King of aftercare! He’s going to talk sweetly to you and cuddle with you. He’s gonna tend to your bruises, Make a bath for you, clean his fluids off of you, make you something to drink…anything you want 💜

More than likely you will probably be bruising him since he loves being your bottom, but he will still try to give you aftercare after you rode him for over an hour straight. 😅 Be firm and tell him no and give him the same care he gives you. You’ll melt his heart!

[brains4brawn]

Summer Camp, Football

I was so excited for science camp, it would be my last year as I would start college in the fall. The camp was huge and divided into four major sections; Arts, Sports, Science, and Space with Sports taking up most of the land. The different parts of the camp didn't mingle too much but every Fourth of July there was a gigantic celebration.

It was great seeing old friends and getting to bunk in one of the smaller Sci cabins. My best friend Jeff was assigned with me and we went over the catalog to see what classes there were for the seniors.

In the distance we could hear the rowdy football jocks. It was a trade off, the smaller more private cabins were on the outer perimeter close to the sports section, specifically the footballers. Jeff and I just ignored them while we made our schedules for the following 8 weeks. I started to unpack my huge suitcase into the dresser beside my bed, in the second drawer was a small football key chain with the camp logo emblazoned on it. I picked it up and got a slight static shock, I showed it to Jeff and he thought that some meathead must have forgotten it. We both laughed and well both got slightly turned on at the thought of one of those jocks sleeping in our beds.

The day went by quickly and soon we had our introduction dinner and met everyone in Sci. Soon though I was in bed, tired but excited for tomorrow.

Tomorrow came to early, I awoke at 4:19 am with tons of energy! It was like lightning had struck, i bounced out of bed and began to quietly pace hoping not to disturb Jeff. I decided to go outside where I heard grunting in the distance. I followed the sounds to a flat track woven in-between some cabins where some big jocks were doing an early morning run. One of them saw me and motioned to me, for some reason i went closer. This guy was stunning, he was shirtless and showing off his rock hard body. I felt my penis begin to tent as i drew close, He asked why I was here and I made up some story that my dad always takes me on early jogs and if i could join them. He looked me over and then said that any bro is welcome to join.

I got back around 6:30 my body sore but energized. Jeff was still softly snoring on his side of the cabin. I quickly went to the bathroom and took a shower. Jeff was just getting out of bed when I re-entered the bedroom, he rushed past me into the vacant bathroom, while he was getting ready I still was overcome with energy. I went to a spot on the wood floor and proceeded to do some pushups until I heard the shower turn off.

The next week flew by as I developed a new morning routine. Every morning I'd be up at 4am and jogging with Seth and his bros. They were all really welcoming, and I was having a great time just not thinking. Heck, Jeff even commented one day that I was looking healthier. It felt weird to keep this from my best friend but I know he wouldn't understand. Even though the guys here were awesome, Jeff had been bullied practically his entire life back home.

Afternoons soon became torture as my Sci projects were becoming harder to focus on. My body was brimming with energy and I couldn't wait for the two hours of free time before dinner. Jeff and I used to sit and watch the hunky Jocks play their different sports during the afternoon breaks but now I had the urge to join them. I feel bad for ditching Jeff but now I get in the water and go for a swim or grab some boots and go on a short hike.

Its been almost four weeks since camp started and I haven't felt this good in years. Every morning I get up and run with my bro Seth and the gang, then go and work out at the sports camp gym. By the time I get back to the cabin to shower and change Jeff is already gone. I feel bad for the little bro, he's obviously gay and a guy with my bod can't be easy to room with. It still kinda sucks that I'm in a Sci cabin but at least I'm not far from the rest of the footballers. After morning PT I go to strategy sessions and game history. Then the afternoon is spent playing touch footie with the guys.

The Fourth of July was a blast. All the different sports teams came together and we had scrimmages all day. The Sci Nerds showed off some dope looking robots and the Space Dweebs launched rockets. Later on the Theater Dorks put on a talent show, then came a cookout dinner BBQ. Lastly came the fireworks. As the sky was bombarded by the light, I noticed Jeff off by himself. Not wanting anyone to be alone I picked up my things and moved closer to him. Sitting next to him it was hard not to notice just how much smaller my cabin bro was.

At first he tried to ignore me, but fuck i am not someone who is ignored easily. I scooted my perfect ass up beside him and he told me to go away. I just sat there letting him get used to my presence, I felt an odd need to be protective of the little guy. I heard a sigh and then in a whisper Jeff asked if I knew how perfect I was.

Well duh, I am tall proportionally muscular and let's face it, any guy would be lucky to have a piece of me. Something awoke inside me, feelings that I knew were there but didn't want to admit. I was Mr. Popular, big man on campus, life of the party, but somewhere in the last month I had devolved a crush on this lonely nerd.

It was after midnight when Jeff and I got back to the cabin. I woke up with the little nerd spooning against my bod. Fuck it felt good having him next to me, my morning wood pressed against his back. Jeff woke up slowly and I felt the goosebumps as he realized his situation. His head tilted up and he looked into my eyes, I took the chance and kissed him gently..... which quickly turned into a passionate make out session... which....well, let's say the little nerd is one of the best cocksuckers ever. The moment I erupted into his mouth a slight bit of static electricity passed from me into him.

From then on we became inseparable. Jeff joined me for morning PT and came to support the team in our mock tournament with our sister campgrounds, while I tried my best to support his Sci shit. By the time we left, Jeff had put on some decent size and was getting along with all my bros on the team.

Epilogue:

Two men stand in the tiny cabin, marveling at how they'd spent so much time in such a cramped space. The taller man had just finished his second season in the NFL while his shorter husband had become the CEO of his own successful startup. The men stood there, reminiscing on how they met the summer before college and how they couldn't imagine life without each other. Jeff gave his husband's hand a squeeze before the two of them started their summers as owners of this special place.

[randomm-person]

I keep thinking of AU ideas at 4AM randomly so here's another!

It's a fucking time-loop AU. That's it. Just a time-loop AU.

However, there's one difference to the classic 'Y/N being in a time-loop' thing - It's Sun and Moon who are in the loop.

It starts out on Y/N's first day on the job as the assistant to the Daycare Attendant. And, y'know, things go by pretty nicely! The first day passes, then the first week passes, and before you know it, it's been 3 months and in those 3 months the usual Y/N - DCA fanfic happens with all those ups and downs.

One night, on a cold autumn night, Y/N is driving home, tired from their day at work, but happy and content. As they drive, blissfully thinking of Sun & Moon, they realize how tired they really are. They feel drowsy, like they could fall to sleep at any moment. They think of how nice it'll be when they get home and can rest in their bed and sleep until the morning when they get to go into work and have another great day with Sun at playtime and Moon at naptime.

The sleepiness kicks in a lot more as they daydream, or- actually.. No, their just asleep now. How sweet! They fell to sleep while thinking about Sun & Moon!! Although, I feel like I'm forgetting something here..

Oh yea- THEIR STILL FUCKING ON THE ROAD- OH DEAR GOD-

-

The next morning, Sun is tidying up the Daycare and preparing himself for the day as he waits for Y/N to arrive.

He sits on the balcony of his room, looking out into the Daycare, bickering with Moon a bit, when suddenly, the door opens!

Sun jumps into the ball-pit excitedly, then climbs out expecting to see Y/N. Aw, he's so excited to see them!! He looks at the door to greet Y/N, but.. it isn't Y/N.

Instead, he greets one of the workers at the Plex, finding it strange to see them since Y/N should've arrived by now, but maybe their just late?

The worker, Elliot, who is friends with Y/N, walks in and has a slightly sad look on his face.

Moon thinks that maybe he came to stand in for Y/N for today? Maybe their sick?? Sun starts wondering is they can send a get-well-soon card if they are sick, but then Elliot tells them what really happened..

Elliot, with tears in his eyes, has come to inform Sun & Moon of Y/N's unfortunate passing...

Sun is, of course, distraught and in denial, but Moon sees the way Elliot struggles to speak steadily, and instantly understands.

He understands that this is real. That this is actually happening.

And then, a couple days pass, with Sun and Moon doing their jobs, but it's obvious how this news affected them. Hell- even the younger kids notice!!

Then, one night, as they power off to charge, they think to themselves of the time they'd spent with Y/N. If they could cry in this moment, they'd be sobbing.

But then..

When they power on...

They go about the usual routine, tidying the Daycare, then sitting on their rooms balcony, thinking about things.

The door opens, and Sun jumps into the ball-pit, then climbs out to greet Elliot. Although, Elliot comes in with a second person, and a happy smile on their face which they hadn't had in a while.

Behind them, walks in Y/N!!

Of course, they think their dreaming. They approach Y/N with caution, and Elliot introduces Y/N the way they did on Y/N's first day of work.. strange... Y/N greets Sun with the same fascinated expression they'd worn on their first meeting.

Moon asks if this is real, and Sun responds with silence. This can't be real- It can't!!!

They must be dreaming their first interaction! But wait- Moon is also here.. What if- it is real?

And of course, it is! But they don't believe that. The day goes by the same way, and at naptime, Y/N is startled once again when they first see Moon. Moon avoids Y/N, just like Sun has been doing. Both attendants waiting for this bittersweet dream to end, but it doesn't.

They live through the second day, then the third, then the fourth..

The fucks going on here?

Then y'know how it goes, they live through the loop a bunch of times, angst and bittersweet moments happen, they try to figure out how to put an end to the loop and hopefully save Y/N. Maybe they need to prevent Y/N's death? Or maybe they need to do something else..?

Sometimes, Y/N starts the loop with scars they got from the previous loop's accident. Y/N gets a bit of deja vu during some special moments with Sun or Moon.

The things they'd need to do end the loop is save Y/n, but that's only one of two of the goals. The second thing they need to do to end the loop, is help Y/N remember the sort of core memories of Sun, Moon, and Y/N's relationship from before the 1st accident.

I love how much angst and heartbreak I have the ability to enforce here-

Anyways, the idea for Y/N's death may or may not have come from the one time my father almost fell to sleep while he was driving and I had to sit in the passenger seat and keep him awake.

Hope you enjoy this! I genuinely like this idea!! Mainly for the angst but we can just brush that under the rug-

I don't have a pun for this one... dammit-

[goldenlinixx]

current!harry x taylorrussell

'til we're grey and old xx

4am shows on the lock screen as harry turns his eyes to his iphone on the bedside table. "great" he thinks to himself. "definitely way too early" so he stays in bed a little longer and turns back to the other side. harry has to smile, despite the darkness he can recognise the naked silhouette of his beloved taylor. he carefully pulls the blanket back over her beautiful body and pulls her close to him and back into his arms.

"come here love. you're really cold" he whispers softly to her back. "mhh" was all harry got in reply. despite the fact that taylor still seems to be half asleep, she can't help but seek out harry's hand and cuddle it close to her chest. harry has to smile again, unbelievable how much he loves her.

three hours later and harry really can't sleep anymore. he decides to get up carefully because tay, on the other hand, still looks so peacefully asleep. "stay a little longer, my heart. i can't sleep anymore and i'm already going for a walk with root“ harry whispers into the ear of sleeping taylor and gives her a final loving kiss on the forehead. he quietly closes the door to their shared bedroom and heads straight off to greet their dog root, who can hardly wait for her morning cuddle.

another three hours later, taylor is now woken up by the beautiful sunlight streaming into the bedroom. harry must have opened the curtains before he even left the room. they both usually sleep in total darkness, but he knows just as well that tay loves to be woken up this way. it won't be that long before taylor has to leave for her play in new york, so the mornings at harry's home, which has definitely become their home together, are all the more precious to them. harry will always accompany her to new york for a few days at a time. she couldn't be happier about it. hampstead is their home together, but when harry is with her and by her side, any place in the world is her home.

before tay sets off in search of her boyfriend, she slips into one of harry's t-shirts, which are far too oversized for her small body, but she loves it so much anyway. taylor doesn't have long to go in search of her boyfriend. soft and almost cautious guitar sounds tell her that she simply has to follow the path into the living room. she has to smile. taylor is sure that she knows the song, but she immediately recognises that it's not one of harry's own songs.

… I met you in the dark, you lit me up

You made me feel as though I was enough

We danced the night away, we drank too much

I held your hair back when

You were throwing up

Then you smiled over your shoulder

For a minute, I was stone-cold sober

I pulled you closer to my chest

And you asked me to stay over

I said, "I already told ya

I think that you should get some rest"

I knew I loved you then

But you'd never know

'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go

I know I needed you

But I never showed

But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go

Just say you won't let go…

... are the lines she can catch. with quiet steps she comes closer and closer to harry's voice and finally stops in the doorway. taylor never thought that you could ever feel so much love for a person. completely lost in thought and in his voice, harry sits there cross-legged on their sofa, his blue guitar on his lap. short loose adidas shorts, the twpk tennis socks, a white loose vans shirt and his meanwhile very fluffy hair again and that dark beard shine in her field of vision. he is so incredibly attractive, talented and at the same time so beautiful. root has also found her place next to him and listens to the wonderful voice and the guitar playing of her dad. taylor has to smile, a morning couldn't start better. one note of harry's wonderful voice and the world around her is forgotten. it's not just harry's wonderful and soulful voice that is given space, you can literally hear his incredibly happy grin in every sentence.

"good morning h"

only now harry realise that taylor must have been standing in the doorway for quite a while watching him.

"hey baby" he has to return her smile. "how long have you been standing there?"

"long enough to know that you absolutely have to keep playing"

"come here first, love" he carefully puts the guitar down in front of him so that he can pull taylor firmly into his arms. taylor doesn't need to be told twice and looks for the direct way there. before she lets herself fall into his strong arms, she can't help but touch his lips for a loving good morning kiss. they both lose themselves in the moment before taylor carefully interrupts him.

"how did you come up with james arthur?"

"i just had the song in my playlist on my morning round with root and it made me think of us. so i wanted to try it out. but i wanted to make it my version and an even more soulful and slower version and i would like to sing it just for you."

Tay nods lovingly. "keep playing h. i want to hear it to the end then"

after harry has positioned his guitar on his lap again, taylor also positions herself in the cross-legged seat and rests her head lovingly on harry's shoulder. harry's careful guitar sounds now find their rhythm again and taylor closes her eyes.

..I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed

I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head

And I'll take the kids to school

Wave them goodbye..

the line makes taylor smile and her eyes open automatically. "can‘t wait" she whispers into harry's ear and presses a loving kiss to his neck.

harry then briefly interrupts his singing and looks deep into taylor's eyes. "me neither“ he whispers carefully before leaning forward to kiss taylor in confirmation and then smiling slightly into the kiss. they both know exactly what the other is thinking now, without throwing any more words into the room. they are both so deeply in love and so sure of each other so they could not wait anymore until taylor's play in new york is over so that they can leave their plans of babies and starting a family in the hands of fate rather than their own.

..And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night

When you looked over your shoulder

For a minute, I forget that I'm older

I wanna dance with you right now

Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever

And I swear that everyday you'll get better

You make me feel this way somehow

I'm so in love with you Tay

And I hope you know..

taylor carefully raises her head so that she can look directly into her boyfriend's eyes. she forms a soft but clear "you are everything" with her lips. harry smiles deeply and continues to play the next lines without taking his eyes off taylor's beautiful eyes.

…Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold

We've come so far, my dear

Look how we've grown

And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go

Just say you won't let go

I wanna live with you

Even when we're ghosts

'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most

I'm gonna love you 'til

My lungs give out

I promise 'til death we part like in our vows

*So I wrote this song for you, now YOU know*

That it's just you and me *'til we're grey and old* …

even though the song still has a few more lines to go, harry stops here and carefully puts the guitar back down. instead, harry places his warm hands on taylor's cheeks and brushes away the tiny tears that his beautiful voice and his very own version of the song seem to have brought to taylor's eyes.

"hey baby. are you crying?"

"kind of but it was so wonderful. i love your voice, your guitar playing and you so much. thank you h."

as a thank you, harry can't help but plant a long loving kiss on taylor's lips.

"i love you tay. i love you so much. until we're grey and old, i'll sing you every love song in the world okay?"

"until we're grey and old, yes. I love you too.“

—————————————

heey all, the oneshot was created when exactly this song landed in my playlist by chance. my head didn't want to let go of the idea of harry singing the song and then of course for taylor.

i love them both so much. i wish them nothing more than a wonderful future together! <3

i hope you like it!

celine xoxo

[moonlight-tmd]

beeprowl + team prime & Sari go to a carnival. have fun as a group/family

Hmm. I actually had ideas similar to this.

I don't know what a carnival is like but i suppose Bee would tag Prowl and his friends to big events like such. Now do mind those ideas were originally BlitzBee and i'm twisting them up a bit to fit the ask.

So first idea is them going to a Pride Parade- I think Bee and Prowl would be at this awkward before-officialy-dating stage of relationship and Bee heard about this whole thing and wanted to participate so bad.

On Cybertron, things like being trans, gay or pan didn't really existed. Since they don't really have genders there, it was normal for someone to upgrade their frame or have multiple sparkmates if they desired (seeker trines, for example). It didn't stop the sexism or racism from few of the people tho sadly...

To know that some people were treated worse law-wise was horrible and Bee wanted to help. Plus it was a parade- i mean, who doesn't like a big colorful parade? So he nagged the whole team about it- Sari didn't really need the nagging since she was the one that told him about it and invited him to go too. Prowl was sceptical but he couldn't resist the puppy eye tactic Bee has mastered for manipulating everyone, so he went too. With his mufflers cuz the loudness was too much for him.

Optimus, Ratchet and Bulkhead took on a more serious role of keepign everything in tact, Prowl was hanging out in the sidelines also watching out for any potential trouble. Bee however was nearly at the front of the parade, wrapped up in the respective pride ribbons that matched him and waving a huge banner. Sari was sitting on his shoulder and together they were shouting "We are equal! Love is not crime!".

Later on there was an afterparty at the big park. Bee had dragged Prowl from the crowd and was pulling him all over the place to dance. Prowl complied for a while before he slipped out and Bee was going wild on his own. The rest of his group stuck around for a bit before they went back to base and Sari went home. However, Bee did not return...

Optimus was a little worried so he stayed up to make sure Bee returns, Prowl also stayed up for the same reason. It was a very long wait and they both were wanting to drive out and go find him already...

4am the next day, they hear a shutter open. Bee, all worn out and tired, optics barely lit. He was all dirty with rainbow paint and dust and confetti pieces sticking out of his plating and a giant, everlasting smile carved into his face.

He didn't even acknowledge both Optimus or Prowl speaking to him, they were worried when Bee didn't respond... more so when he just faceplanted into the floor right in front of them.

...A moment later they heard the familiar sound of recharge system cycle coming on from him. They didn't know what happened but surely Bee must have had a lot of fun to barely come into the base and sleep on the floor. Of course, Optimus took him to his berth so he wouldn't recharge on the cold hard floor.

He ended up recharging for 27h.

They all didn't know how he did it, Ratchet joked that he must have burned his energy reserves. So Bee woke up basically 2 days later at afternoon, he didn't even say good morning when he came out of his room, he only walked swaying to the fuel station, pulled 2 Bulkhead's portion-sized barrels of oil and drank them straight. No additions, no sweeteners, just plain oil. He drank them both in one go. There was a moment of silence before his frame jolted and he turned to his teammates with the usual happy and energetic personality.

In short, it was the best day he ever had back then. And he wouldn't shut up about how great it was.

Another idea, Bee somehow persuaded everyone to go to the amusement park because of some big event that was happening.

I don't know much about carnivals but i would defo say Bulkhead would enjoy the arts n crafts stations where you make your own masks n stuff. Optimus likes watching rides zoom around, i think at one point Bee would catch on and persuade the pirate boat ride operator to let Bossbot play on what was essentially a swing for him. Ratchet, while also taking it upon himself to not let anyone be too dumb, prefers the precision games. He knows some of them are rigged, but with some fiddling with the magnetic field he knocks down even the presumed impossible game. Sari is Sari and loves all the things, rides, games, food- her favorite are the rides where they have a designed area like a cave or a themed ride such as haunted house or dino land. Prowl is not a fan of such places, at least not anymore... but he takes it upon himself to try and enjoy it and he finds something for himself. He lil fishing games. He loves the way the ll rubber ducks wobble on water when you try to catch them. Since he is technically smaller than Bee, he would defo sit in one of the spinning tea cups. Bee himself enjoys the dance floor and interacting with the dress-up folks running around the place. He loves winning plushies at the games and even got one for everone; Bee, of course, won himself a little fluffy bee, Bulkhead got a big teddy bear, Optimus got a lion, Sari has favored the long noodly snake, Ratchet got the special beaver in a doctor outfit and Prowl... Bee wanted to get something special for Prowl, he spend way too long looking around and thinking before he spotted a beautiful big plush of great horned owl... Unfortunatelly for him, the kid in line before him was also competing to get the owl.

In a figurative sense, the fight was brutal but Bee managed to fill the things with water just barely before the kid and got to choose his prize first. He doesn't regret making the kid cry, the brat seemed spoiled enough with the way he talked to his mother. He also tried to rip the plush out of his servos in a tantrum so Bee's not feeling bad at all. So Bee hides the plushied from everyone, except Sari's because he helped her get it at the stand so he couldn't get it back to surprise her with it.

They go back home and Bee prepares the plushies with little bows and sneaks one into their rooms at night for the surprise... except for Prowl.

Prowl woke up, grabbed his morning oil and went back into his room to meditate. Soon enough he heard someone knock at his door. Upon opening he was met with a fabric face of a big owl. Soon after the happy face of Bumblebee popped up behind it. "I got you something!"

The owl itself was huge, probably half his own size but Prowl had little trouble holding it. Honestly he was flattered that Bee remembered his favorite bird and got him a gift, it even had a pretty golden ribbon tied around its neck. Bee was so proud of himself for that one, Prowl couldn't get enough of that happy smile beaming- and bee couldn't get enough of Prowl smiling like an idiot. Such a rare sight, he managed to sneak a polaroid photo to hang on his wall later.

I didn't know what to do with this prompt, honestly. The time i do see them acting liek a family, if this post wasn't it, is when it's just them and no one can see them. For example when they have a little event at base of go out to have a picnic at the river, that sort of thing. I hope my answer as enough to... well, answer your ask.

[aestheticvoyage2024]

Day 101: Wednesday April 10, 2024 - "This was 33 Months"

The 33rd month was a blur - the pace of play is picking up as fast as his vocabulary. Always on the run, squealing, smiling, rascaling it up. He's asserting his independence this month and lets you know his opinion is showing he's got all of his alotted Actingham bullheadedness that he was destined for. And its entertaining. Watching boss baby govern the Finca, his little universe. We shared most all this month with my parents who got to check in on him and his growth on more time before the heat of summer. And somewhere in this month we all to seem to notice a little change. Suddenly here in the 33rd month, we had more of a little boy, a 3 year old, than we did the little toddling two year old. His school sees it too - ready to move him up. Sharp as can be, easily excited, in love with his life - so long as it involves Beyonce more than it does sunscreen. This month he sure loved getting up in the morning and "going to see grandma" and god bless here that she was there for it, most every day - I loved it almost as much as he did. Then in the evenings when it was time to wrap it up, he just loved sitting in Papas lap and reading Mighty Tug, Magical Yet, My Truck Is Stuck, Lets Build A Highway. And I was so happy they were here and creating these memories and these happy lovely times. So healthy for him and his little brain. So blessed to have such loving parents and a loving home for our boo-boo to find his own in. I assume each month from here for awhile will be a lot like this one - with noticeable sizable shifts as he comes into his body and his voice and his emotions. And I want to be there for it. - every day, with the same alacrity that my Mom greets him first thing the morning. I want to be there for it to enjoy it and see it, as he grows and stretches, and learns, and wires up...Stay present and fertile for the changes. This is the good stuff - like when he wakes you up at 4am because the muffins must be cooled down now, or when you wake up with a monster truck under your hip in bed, or a foot in your butt crack, or even when we have to tag team putting on the pajamas, this is the good stuff. This is what I am here for. Every day.

Now the whining............... I dont know - not there yet. Maybe Month 34 will teach me that hack.

Favorite Food: Papa's Banana Bread Muffins- even willing to sleep on the kitchen floor until they cool down!

Favorite Song: "Do you want to build a snowman"

Favorite Book: Mighty Tug - BEEEP BEEEEEEEEP! a re-obsession with "My Truck Is Stuck"

Favorite Show: Trash Truck on Netflix, Buster the Bus

Favorite Toy(s): Monster Trucks from Easter Bunny

Best Phrase/ Word: "I want to watcha william show"

Favorite Favorite: Reading books with Papa, Mornings with Grandma

Least Favorite: Dry Red Cheeks

Big First:  Gave a really great gift to a friend (Otis), and finished in the top 650 in the women's bracket challenge on ESPN.

Song: Beyonce - Irreplaceable

Quote: “Toddlers will attach themselves to energies that feel comfortable to them. Because energies don't lie.” ― Mitta Xinindlu

This was 32 months This was 31 months This was 30 months This was 29 months This was 28 months This was 27 Months This was 26 months This was 25 months This was 24 Months This was 23 Months This was 22 Months This was 21 Months This was 20 Months This was 19 months This was 18 months This was 17 months This was 16 months This was 15 months This was 14 months This was 13 months This is 12 Months This is 11 months This was 10 months This was 9 months This was 8 months This was 7 months This was 6 months This was 5 months

[aramatientediada]

So, I started to use antidepressants

Since depression is the main topic in this site I decided to share my experience here.

My psychologist said to me see a psychiatrist or general physician for medicine prescription. In the public health system we have to talk with the general doc to get a specialist anyway.

I asked for psychiatrist and the doc offered an agreement, he'd give me a medicine and if it don't work in 15 days then he'll refer me to the psychiatrist.

He didn't give any detail about the medicine, besides to take it once a day.

I meet with the psychologist that day. She reacted to the fact that the doc prescribed a whole pill instead half and she make it very clear I have to take it in the morning and only in the morning because it gives me "disposition".

I took it 6 am and then read leaflet (I know I know but I tent to trust the doctors). So, NOBODY WAS GOING TO TELL ME I CAN'T DRIVE OR OPERATE HEAVY MACHINES WHILE USING THAT? I mean, I don't drive, but I have license so... I might.(!)(?)

Don't you hate it when you take a medicine for a thing and the side effects include that thing? I had this experience with others medicines before, but at least with the allergy one it made sense.

Somewhere between 8 and 10 am I started to VERY SLEEPY. Where was my desired disposition? I also felt other foreseen symptoms, like much mental blurriness and a bit of nausea in certain moments.

High, I was high but without the "good part" of feeling high we get with alcohol. Only the bad part.

This all got some better in the evening, but before the nigh I was very sleepy again. Probably something to do with I woke up before 4am?

Now is the next day. I hold my sleepiness and only went to bed around 9 or 10 pm but wake up by myself before 6. Which now that I look at it was a very good sleep time.

I wake up with residual sleep, but with a bit of "disposition" . Still a bit of that "bad high" feeling and The Confusion™.

Disobeying medical orders I took only half pill today, now lets see how the day goes.

At this moment you must be asking "But what about the intended effect? What about what really matters? Does it work".

Yes... and maybe.

I don't know how far it's actually working or is the placebo effect. I was actually feeling a lil better since my psych said to me ask for medicine. And a lot better having the prescription in hands. It's what Lori Gottlieb mentioned in "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone", the hope for a "cure" that makes us fell better for itself. (Hope actually has great medicinal power according science)

I can say that while physically I'm feeling a lil trash, emotionally I'm... perfectly normal!

Which is a humongous upgrade!

Not more that psychological enormous pain, that despair, that dread of living. Even though all the things in my life that make me fell worthless, in danger, without future, hopeless, powerless are still there!

Now those thing are just bothersome things that exist, but no more thing that make me want to cease exist every time I think about 'em.

I feel as wanting to unalive yourself is not a feeling, neither a desire or any natural part of the brain but a malfunction! Ok ok, we know the depression itself is already a malfunction, but I'm talking about the will to end yourself.

I'm not feeling a super love for live, that sweet feeling of wanting to live, but neither to stop living. And I don't feel that only the feelings and rationalization that give me suicidal intention were vanished, because they weren't (completely), but the intention itself is unable to exist.

Bad though are just bad toughs and nothing else, not triggers.

Is this how normal people feel? Is this how the people who never want to end themselves feel even when everything is terrible in their lives? Is this how they can fight back?

What a delicious feeling, I wish I could have it without the sleepy and nausea.

[bubacorn]

Whenever you post on ao3 I brace myself to sob about it. Wdym ii worked through a fever (you are so right) 😭

⬆️ ii with a fever of 103°, sweating through his pyjamas & about to try to go take the trash out because it's "his turn". Just before he is gently herded into a lukewarm shower & back to bed by the others. Because it is 4am & trash day isn't for 2 more days. (He is a little delirious)

😭 Oh, that's flattering, but also *offers blanket, plushie and a warm drink* (Sorry for the sad)

Had to convert that, but yes! Exactly! And he doesn't a see a problem with that once he gets better, because he can't just abandon his responsibilities because he's a little weak. They had to cuddle-wrestle him multiple times to hold him back from going downstairs and making breakfast/checking their grocery list/trying to start cleaning. And then it takes even longer for him to get better, and then they talk about it and he promises to take it easier. Just a little bit. And the others try to counterbalance by doing some housework before II could do it, so he sees that he doesn't have to always take care of everything. Even starts asking for help in little things. The urge to handle it all starts to ease up. They love to see it.

Also, now thinking about Vessel being confused during II's transformation because he doesn't complain and tries to go about his day like he would normally. And Vessel knows it must hurt, but II doesn't show it. Vessel realizes II is great at masking pain and pretending everything's fine. He's crap at asking for help. One night he goes up to Vessel and asks for cuddles, and Vessel feels him let go and shake in his arms, and II hides his face in Vessel's shirt, and he knows he knows. He understands. And II hopes that it's okay. But his insides hurt and Sleep nudged at his mind to go to his other, to ask for help and II tries to shake the memories of standing in front of another door somewhere in the past, looking with pleading eyes at someone else, and getting turned away for being overdramatic. But Vessel just closes his book and steers II to his bed, covers him in blankets and holds him, making sure that he's comfortable. And II knows that that is what it should be like, he knows all those past instances were just wrong, and that whatever Vessel was doing is right, but still. He shouldn't need it that bad. And he can't tell Vessel that his tears are not from the tearing pain from inside. Or they are, but not from the changes, but from the pain in his chest that seems to lessen when Vessel wraps his arms around him tighter and presses a kiss to his hair and starts humming to him.

That ran away from me. But II needing to be the strong one is so clear to me, he's so often painted as the stable one in the group and I think that's valid, but he needs a break, too, and I see him as the 'older sibling who masks their suffering to protect everyone else'. And he needs hugs and soft care, too. Needs to be able to admit that he hurts, too. And the others give that to him. I am very normal about them.

Thank you, thank you for the ask and for letting me ramble, I love you for this! 💖 Hope you have a lovely day! 🫂

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3731

my momma came by this morning to bring some stuff over. i was grateful to get a hug from her.

i also got to move my car back to the driveway, and then as joel and i went to go pick up his meds from the drug store, i got a call from a random mass number.

i picked it up.

it was marcus, the account manager at biogen.

he told me i was being removed from the site.

keep in mind, i have received no notice about my performance, i am out sick with covid, and my last week off was approved, so there is nothing that i could possibly know of that would warrant being removed from the site.

but all i could say was "okay," and try not to cry.

so.

i no longer work at biogen.

which is surprising, but honestly i'm better off.

i cried for a bit, but joel was with me and helped me kinda calm down. as the day has gone on, i've realized more and more that it's a relief. i was overworked and upset and honestly so fucking tired that it was basically impossible to get anything done. and to be removed without being spoken to or given an opportunity to improve, i must have been genuinely, sincerely, and extremely overworked and exhausted.

so.

i'm okay.

glad i don't have to deal with them.

but i do have to go in and get my belongings from the office. which sucks, but it's fine.

i gotta say, deleting my 3:50am alarms felt really nice.

plus i can see my friends again without needing to prioritize being awake at 4am the next day.

i can see my friends again!!

i'm gonna need to take a week to recover beyond the covid for sleep behavior, but i'll get to see joel more and i'll get to see my friends more and i'll be able to get things done.

i already spent a bunch of time today looking at jobs. i saw an open position for a carpenter in woodsville. that was funny.

but that's a lot. that's what i went through today.

leo has been very concerned. i know how bad my mental state has been recently because of the covid, and adding "loss of job with no chance for course correction" is shitty, but with joel's support, i'm just fine. i've been talking to leo all evening off and on, and he's nervous about his job now, too. he thinks he doesn't do a good job but he's always doing great. he pays attention and communicates and asks good questions and doesn't get distracted. unlike me.

i have a lot of potential options for temporary employment, plus i'm still waiting on the big one. in the meantime, i need to be reimbursed by the con and joel said he'd help me with my bills. which i very much appreciate.

also earlier today, jey reached out to me! he asked how things in the gsoc were going and i said "it's funny you say that" and told him about my phone call with marcus and everything. he asked about leo, i asked about how he's doing. all seems like it's just fine except for me constantly being a disaster.

so i'm glad for all of them for doing well.

i just wish i could say the same, yknow?

sigh.

[dsandrvk]

Thursday, February 22 - Ushuaia

It rained pretty hard overnight here and when we woke up, there was fresh snow on the mountains behind Ushuaia. The temperature had also dropped significantly and our high was 15 degrees lower than yesterday. But it was still a great day to get out and stretch our legs a bit.

We were able to visit four places in Tierra del Fuego National Park. While we would have loved to spend more time at each, there was really no other practical way to get out there, except by tour or taxi. There is a bus, but it runs so infrequently that it just isn't practical. As it was, our little van of 14 guests was able to see a lot more than the large buses, and spend more time at each stop.

The first stop was the end of route 3, which is also the end of the Pan-American highway. From here one can see out to the Beagle Channel and Chile beyond. I did wonder whether the one message board for the park had anything on it before it got covered in stickers!

We also went to the post office at the end of the world (actually the end of the pier) and got postcards, which we had stamped. We could have mailed something, but the person in front of us sent off 2 cards, and the price was $24. We decided to just bring ours home. Another gal had her actual passport stamped and it must have been from some place special as the clerk pulled out a bottle of Scotch and a shot glass for a toast! Our passports were still on the ship from arriving back in Argentina and then going on to the Falklands, so that wasn't an option.

By the time we finally got back to Ushuaia, they had the "Ushuaia" letter sign blocked off for a ceremony with a lot of military. We think they are Peruvian navy, as the red vessel in the second picture came by us in the morning, blasting military music and carrying the Peruvian flag. It is an extremely well kept-up ship, too, and looked freshly painted.

The flags of Argentina and Tierra del Fuego are also seen everywhere. Our guide was explaining to us that the blue on the latter flag represents the Beagle Channel, the red-orange is the fire, the white in between is an albatross, and the stars represent not only the Southern Cross, but also the islands that comprise Tierra del Fuego, including Las Malvinas (the Falklands). Argentina just won't get over the fact that they lost that war and the islands never really were theirs. But the slogan "las Malvinas son Argentinas" is everywhere, even on buses and trains in Buenos Aires. Ever hopeful.

We wandered around town for a while, but with two larger cruise ships and three smaller ones in port, it was plenty crowded and by now the wind was about 25mph, and the temperature was a balmy 41 degrees or so, so we were motivated to spend our last pesos and get back. We spent a little time watching all the ships getting reprovisioned - in our case for a very long voyage. After we leave the ship in Cape Verde, it will continue and the next port that will be of any size will be Malaga, Spain, a couple of weeks after we disembark. I really don't know if they can reprovision in Cape Verde. We briefly considered a visit to the outdoor hotel tubs, but the winds were blowing sideways to the ship, and we were worried our robes would wind up in the Channel.

We had our safety orientation, and an introduction to the expedition staff (we have added a few birding types, and some new lecturers), and had a hosted table with one of the submarine pilots. We had a lively group and thoroughly enjoyed our evening. Since there was nothing too special for entertainment, we decided instead to get a good night's sleep. Many of the new folks aboard have been up since 4AM or so, so they don't tend to do much the first evening.

Tomorrow is a sea day as we head towards the Falklands. Our first day there will be on a couple of uninhabited islands, and that should be a treat.

[bennettdavisblog]

Breakfast is Served and Served and Served. And what happened to Sunday?

After a delightful 24 hours in San Francisco visiting daughter and nephew, we boarded Singapore Airlines Flight 33 and we were on our 17 hour way to Singapore en route to our first stop, Phnom Penh.  (Shout out to Caroline for picking us up and dropping us off at the SFO!)

Singapore Airlines does not fail to deliver. (If there’s a choice between Singapore Airlines and any other, take Singapore Airlines!)  17 hours is a ridiculous amount of time to spend in a tube hurling across the globe. Jet lag was going to set in, but how to mitigate? Aha! The goal was to stay up until 4am Pacific time, then sleep for 8 hours with the help of a Benadryl tablet and arrive in Singapore well rested and ready to hit the ground. Well, not so fast…  Champagne on takeoff, wine with dinner (I ordered Thai chicken curry-damn good), followed by an after dinner scotch and well, I didn’t exactly make it to 4am.  I did have a chance to read (a lot) and watch Sideways, which I had not seen since 2004-great movie. Unable to stay awake much longer at 1am, I took the Benadryl, and by 1:30 I was fast asleep.  Lisa was able to stay up until 2:30 so kudos to her for having the stamina and will power and less drinks to stay up.  Coma slept about 5 hours and woke up in time for breakfast.  I really don’t understand why they wake everyone up to eat breakfast when it’s the middle of the night at our destination and there’s still 5 hours left to go to get to Singapore.  All good except we both never really got back to sleep.  Didn’t matter.  The excitement of going to Southeast Asia with relatively few plans and not knowing what to expect made sleep irrelevant.  What in the world are we doing?  

We landed in Singapore and if the rest of the city state is like the airport, we must go back. What’s the deal with Singapore?  This is not a normal place.

There are fish and crocodiles floating on the ceiling. Yes! That’s the ceiling!!

We made our way to the Singapore Airlines lounge to grab our second breakfast while we waited for our flight to Phnom Penh.  It’s 6:00am and apparently you eat the same thing for breakfast as you do for dinner.  I guess that cuts down on the cost of printing menus. Noodle soup, dim sum, and other things I have no idea what they were-for breakfast.  When in Rome! Dim sum it was.  The layover was short, so we went to the gate for our next flight to Phnom Penh.  The flight took off on time and we were headed to Cambodia!  No sooner than we reached cruising altitude, they brought out what? A THIRD breakfast!  This time it was noodles with shrimp and scallop-for breakfast.  Folks, it’s 7:45 AM!  We’ve now eaten three breakfasts. Whatever.  Feeling nice and very full the best news was yet to come. The Super Bowl was being shown on the 1 1/2 hour hop over to PP, so we got to watch the whole first half .  Lisa was watching the game, too, but I sort of think it was to see Taylor Swift.  We arrived in Phnom Penh without a hitch, but here’s the thing…we left on Saturday and arrived on Monday.  Sunday, February 11 is forever gone from our lives.  We’ll never live it.  Poof! I am confused though.  Does that make us a day older or younger?? On one hand, we are older because it’s a day later. On the other hand, we missed a day so does that make us a day younger?

[nar-nia]

hi!

wow.

omg, its been so long since i spoke to you but a lot of happened in my life kinda (as well as yours from what i saw)

first of all, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing uni!!!!!!! im proud and happy for u!!! u worked hard and it paid off!! and wow, bakery?? that sounds so amazing!!!! like straight up bakery/coffee shops au!!! must be super fun and probably always smells rly good there!! i hope ure having tons of fun!!! and that ure eating lots of cake duh

for me, idk if u remember but i passed that oral exam!!! i did it in the beginning of september!! and i felt relieved and euphoric about it! and now the new semester (so my second year ) starts soon and…… i feel so anxious about going back, talking to people, all the stress and constant anxiety, and the fact that im still questioning whether this was the right thing to study and the lingering feeling that all my friends have it figured  out already with the life and im kinda stuck. like when its right u know? but idk ??

but on a more positive note? my summer was rly great overall so i hope urs was too!!!! im no longer a teenager tho 20 hits hard - especially after olivia rodrigos new album lmaoo

hee has purple hair now and he looks soooooo good!! ALSO  i read jakes and jays fics u posted and they were so nice, omg like???  :((( like made me realize how much i missed ur blog and u!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you, wishing u all the best always!!!!!!!!!!

                            -beloved anon wow it feels good to write it again!! <333

OMG HELLOOOO 🥺🥺🥺 it's been so long, i missed you so much. how are youu <333

please i'm so happy about finally finishing uni, it felt so long and annoying in the end. but now i already kinda miss it 😭

working in the bakery is.. interesting. it's definitely what i want to do in life, the other day i spent the whole workday just making cakes without anyone bothering me and i loved it so so much, but it's also hard and really stressful (which is why i am replying so late and i'm really sorry, first i got sick and then i got hit with a workload again 🥲). i have to do work that's supposed to be for like 4 other people and it's something 😶 let's manifest that they will find more workers soon because this is way too stressful for me (and my coworkers, i haven't seen them smiling in the past two weeks anymore, it's a bit scary). but enough complaining 🫡 the work itself is fun and the food is so good 🫠🫠 apart from onion cake/pie, i have to do it all myself and i swear i haven't stopped smelling like onions those past few weeks 💀

okay but now to you! CONGRATULATIONS ON PASSING YOUR EXAM 🥳🥳🥳 you did so well and i hope you're really proud of yourself 🥺🩷 and best of luck for your second year, i'm sure you will do as amazing as before 🩷

i'm sorry that you feel so nervous about it though. i have to be back in school to become a baker too now and i was so nervous on my first day, i got sick like right after 💀 and my class really is something (not necessarily positive but there are really nice people too). buuut i hope that your classmates are the nicest people you have ever met and that you will have lots of fun this year, you deserve it. and of course lots of amazing grades in your exams 🩷 i think if this bakery thing has thought me one thing is that it's okay to not know what you want yet. i think i have found my place now (although not necessarily in this bakery) but it took me a while to figure it out too. and in our bakery we have two people who tried lots of different stuff too before they settled on training there. so please try not to worry too much for now, i'm sure it will all work out well for you 🥺🩷

but i'm so glad your summer was nice <33 mine was full of job applications and moving but i still enjoyed it a lot (oh i miss the time where i could stay up all night and sleep in and not start work at 4am 💀) and happy belated birthday, omg <33 welcome to your twenties, it's a wild ride 😍

i missed you so so much too, i'm glad you liked my stories but even happier you had time to check in 🩷 but yes, hee 🫠🫠 wow. i love him (although he's not the only one anymore, can you believe?? jay has been bias wrecking me so hard i am so close to making him my second bias. that guy has me BLUSHING)

i hope you are doing well despite it all and will continue to do well 🩷 you deserve the best and you should get it. i love youuu 🩷🩷🩷

[causticsunshine]

.

[dickmedowndc]

Good Old Days - Bart Allen x Reader

Word Count: 1,079

Summary: When you wake up in the early morning - too tired but knowing your partner is missing from the bed beside you, it is time to set out to find where he has hidden in the house. Finding him lost in thought, he admits what is keeping him awake. Luckily, you know what to say to help him feel at ease again.

Notes: Inspired by the current Dark Crisis run with Bart being done with all of it and everyone treating him differently. However, this work is not set in any specific universe.

…★…

The bed is cold when you wake up – half asleep and eyesight too bleary to make out the world around you. You may not know much, not until you can talk yourself up and into moving. But you know Bart is missing from beside you. With no indent in the mattress, you suspect he must have been gone for a while now. The thought alone is enough to cox you out from under the sheets, blanket pulled tight around your shoulders as you pad from the bed to the doorway, taking note of the house around you and how quiet everything is during the early morning hours. 

You find yourself in the living room next, scanning for the outline of a note in the dark. If it was a mission that he had left for then there should be a note. But there is no paper waiting for you. The thought that something is wrong, mixed with the chilled touch of 4am air, is enough to finally wake you up properly. Immediately you are scouring through hallways and empty rooms – covering the house in record time, but still no sign of your speedster. 

Instead, somewhere to the right you see the flicker of a light outside, one you were sure had been off when you turned in for the night. With nowhere else to look you poke your head outside, the door creaking as you push it open. There, on the top step, is Bart, with his back turned to you and his head in his hands. “Couldn’t sleep?” 

Your voice seems to snap him out of his thoughts because he turns up to look at you in an instant, the surprise written clear as day on his face. He seems to hesitate for a second before attempting to deflect your question. 

“What are you doing up?” 

You know him well enough to know what he is trying to do – and you can see the pull of a frown just past his faked smile. “Well, I was asleep and then I found out my heater had left, so I came looking to see what was wrong.” You keep an eye on him as you sit, blanket extended out in an invitation to cuddle. One you hope he takes. 

To his credit, he does, sliding an arm around your waist and pulling you to sit between his legs, shuffling the blanket around to cover his body – effectively cocooning you along with him. With his head tucked into the crook of your neck you can feel him now, tense, and certainly tired. 

“What’s on your mind?” 

“It was just something someone said earlier today.” 

The night is quiet for a moment before you crane your neck to look at him, waiting for an explanation. 

“It’s just – we were all joking about the ‘good ole days’ and at first it was kind of funny but then they started talking and bringing stuff up that I had forgotten about and just.” He stops, hand in his hair and the other arm still tight around your waist as he looks for his words. “When I started thinking about it, really thinking about it, I don’t remember it being as great as they do, I guess. I mean, was I really that bad?” 

There is another groan that follows his rant before he reburies his face into your shoulder, a huff leaving him. “Bart, I have, like, little to no context for some of that,” you remind. You can feel the chuckle when it happens, and consider it a win that you got a smile then. “But, from what I do understand, do you want to know what I think?” 

You can hear the hum in response and take it as your sign to keep going. “I think you had a rough time when you were younger, of course, but I don’t think you were as bad as you remember.” 

“Still, I was pretty rough around the edges.” 

“What teenager isn’t?” you shoot back. “You were raised in VR, you came back to the past, stayed here, kind of just dropped in and then had to figure out how to navigate a new world. VR can help with a lot, but there was so much you still had to learn.” 

“I got on Wally’s nerves,” he points out, as though some sort of ‘gotcha’ in the moment and you refrain from rolling your eyes. 

“You guys had disagreements, you both had different ways of handling things and you still do. But look at you now– would you trade any of this away?” 

His answer comes less than a heartbeat later, “never.” 

“My point is, you had to go through the past to get to where we are now. Besides, I think you remember yourself as a lot more cringy then everyone else does. I think a lot of people do. They just remember the more embarrassing things about themselves that everyone else forgets.” 

There is a laugh wreaking havoc on his system with whatever you have reminded him of, but he manages to speak all the same. “Who says I have ever done something embarrassing,” he teases. 

The amusement in his voice is enough to get you laughing alongside him, but you feel the need to poke at him. Just a bit. “Literally our first date, Bart.” Your reminder is enough to send him rolling into a new fit of laughter and you enjoy the sound. 

“Will you ever let me live that down?” His brow is raised as he looks at you, cheeks red from the night air and the humored high he is coming down from. 

“Not in a hundred years, love,” you assure. “But really, isn’t it a good thing you’re embarrassed by your younger self? It means that you’ve grown.” 

Bart seems to think on your words for a moment. “You’re right.” 

“Of course I am,” you huff, though your smile betrays you. 

Bart only rolls his eyes – not that you need to see him to know that much – before shuffling to his feet and dragging you up with him. “Come on, let’s see if we can get anymore sleep before the alarm goes off,” he prompts, ushering you inside. If the two of you stayed up much longer it was more likely you would be calling out and faking some sort of sickness for the day. 

“As long as you stay next to me this time,” you hum. 

“I promise.”