#grayson is the exception though that man is just pure evil

[kityherondale]

honestly reading about the Ravens' downfall in "real time" knowing these players fought through so much shit to get a spot in that team is heartbreaking. one after one, another raven falls.

and i can't stop thinking about how each of them had families and friends they abandoned for this dream. they people they used to be.

[redhoodieone]

I’ve Got You

A/N: This is a special one shot to a good friend on here @thatartkid101! I hope you love this, and I hope everything works out. You’re beautiful, strong, and don’t let anyone put you down! You’re amazing! 

Warnings: Language 

Words were never important to me before. I’ve never really given them much thought, but I suppose it’s because we speak every day in our lives. Whether we speak loudly, softly, to ourselves, or just reading and thinking. Words are often used a lot, which could make the words lose or overuse their meanings.

Such as “I love you” or “I’m sorry.”

I can’t even remember the last time I meant any of those words. It almost becomes a common habit; just saying it because you know it’s right, not because you actually mean it.

Which could explain why people around me always double check with what I say.

I guess I’ve never sound so confident and sure when I speak.

Bruce had invited me along with him, the Batboys, and Alfred out to dinner at one of his restaurants in Gotham. I, of course, accepted even though I always feel weird and uncomfortable going out with them since they’re practically handsome and popular celebrities, while I’m just an average girl.

I met the Batfamily one horrifying night about two years ago. I was nineteen years old and going through an awful time with my high school boyfriend, Rob. I was with Rob throughout high school, and after we graduated, we kept dating while I was attending G.C.U as he worked with his father and uncles at his father’s auto garage.

Our relationship had been good up until a point where Rob wanted me to quit school and become a “stay-at-home-wife-and-mother”. I sometimes wondered if Rob was jealous of the fact that I had a separate life during the daytime, while the two of us only have the evenings and nights. I even came out of my shell (I’ve been told I’ve been a hermit crab for most of my life), and even made new friends; particularly Tim Drake.

We had some of the same classes, except for math and science classes because Tim’s practically a genius. So, the only classes we shared were English, history, and even computer classes. In a way, Tim became my friend after tutoring me for tests while I became a friendly face when he needed someone to joke and talk to during study hours.

Our friendship blossomed within the seven months we met. I even met his father, Bruce Wayne, his trustworthy, sassy butler Alfred Pennyworth, and his brothers Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, and Damian Wayne. While all of them welcomed me into their home and accepted me as a friend of Tim’s, I realized I was suddenly struck by lightning to one of his brothers.

Jason Todd.

Jason fucking Todd.

I didn’t know what initially drew me to him; like a moth to a flame. Jason is obviously handsome, but what most people didn’t know was just how sensitive, insecure, funny, and caring he truly is. Jason has made it perfectly clear on more than one occasion that he loves his family no matter what (even if they piss him off…and I’ve seen that firsthand), he takes crimefighting more seriously now, and he’s matured a lot since fixing his relationship with Bruce.

It’s like Jason had changed for the better, even if I didn’t know him back then.

But of course, Dick insists Jason is still the same in some ways.

Like how Jason is still a tall, muscular teddy bear at heart (his hugs prove it, since I’ve been lucky enough to receive fifteen within three months), how he laughs and snorts when something is very funny, and especially when he flirts with women he adores.

Ah…the flirting.

I knew I had a boyfriend. I was faithful, and I’ve never done anything wrong to give anyone a reason to not trust me.

But Jason flirting with me on a few occasions just showed how much I was attracted to him. The warm, teddy bear hugs, the innocent cuddling on the couch during movie nights, and how he would look deep into my eyes whenever we had serious or light conversations deep into the early mornings.

And the one night we could have kissed.

Jason had offered and drove me back to my apartment late one night. I had a test the next morning, and I was too tired to drive home since Tim had tutored me for our final exam in English. Jason had been a gentleman and walked me to my door, too. The second I unlocked the front door; I turned to face him and thank him for the drive home.

And then our faces inched closer and closer until I could feel his hot breath above me. Jason had smelled like Old Spice deodorant, and a cologne I couldn’t identify. His breath smelled like the whiskey shot he downed with Tim and I when we finished studying. His ocean blue eyes were hypnotizing, and were so full of lust, warmth, and care.

I found myself leaning in more. Our lips were very close, and my heart was pounding in my chest, as if I could die from a heart attack right then and there. My hands had a mind of their own, and I soon found myself gripping his brown leather jacket and pulled him towards me; until I woke up from the lust and magnetic force shield, I was currently trapped in.

The moment I pulled away and let him go, Jason appeared hurt and confused. But he knew why it couldn’t have happened, even if we both wanted it.

Because I tried hard to stay faithful, even if my heart and body were telling me otherwise.

And of course, I had stayed faithful.

Rob didn’t.

Catching Rob in bed with a female receptionist at his dad’s garage was beyond hatred and betrayal. It was evil; pure, ugly, and sickening evil.

I clearly told Rob we were done; broken up and just finished forever. I tried very hard to stay strong, and I left his apartment with hope that I could just leave and cry privately. But that’s too easy, isn’t it?

Rob eventually caught up with me when I managed to walk a good mile away. He was yelling at me and shoving me against the wall and accused me of cheating on him first: with Tim Drake. I tried to explain to him we were just good friends, and that I didn’t cheat on him. I wanted to tell him I wanted to, but it didn’t seem like a good idea. But Rob’s anger was far from over, and he was now shouting in my face and threatened to ruin me for any new guys that would come around me.

Rob’s threat didn’t fall on deaf ears.

Red Hood landed down beside us. Twirling his gun around his fingers, he approached us and looked more intimidating than anything I’ve ever seen before.

“Wow…you’re a real douchebag,” Red Hood said, his voice is full of rage and violence. After the gun stops spinning in his fingers, he holds it up to Rob’s head. “And here I thought I was…but hey, I guess maybe I’ve grown up and learned yelling and threatening pretty ladies is just a fucking asshole thing to do.”

Rob twisted his face around to face Red Hood. He’s clearly pissed off at Red Hood for interrupting our fight.

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself, okay Dildo Head?! This bitch is my problem, and I’m not leaving until I teach her some manners!” Rob snaps harshly.

“It’s one thing to call my helmet a “dildo head”, but when you disrespect women…now that’s crossing the fucking line, you dipshit!”

Red Hood beat the shit out of Rob, but that didn’t mean Rob went down easily without a fight. While Red Hood had the strength, stamina, and moves, Rob did manage to knock Red Hood’s helmet off.

And it happened to be the one-time Red Hood forgot to wear his domino mask.

Jason Todd.

Rob was thankfully knocked out and didn’t see Jason’s face, but I did. After Jason got up and fixed himself up, he knew his secret was out.

And then I eventually learned all their secret identities. I even became a part of their social and private lifestyles…including sometimes Batfamily meetings and helping with cases or whatever they needed.

But after all of that, I’m in a better place to where I don’t mind getting back into the “dating game”, but the fear of being rejected and cheated on still plagues me from time to time. It also didn’t help that the media and paparazzi insisted I was dating Tim and Jason on different occasions. The rumors were worse. I was considered a “family whore” and that I was trying to sleep with Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim.

Luckily not Damian or Alfred. But Alfred’s too precious for me, anyways.

Bruce, Dick, and Tim never paid much attention to the rumors or paparazzi. While they understood how I felt, they dismissed and corrected the rumors as much as they could. But Jason appeared not to care about the rumors, either. In fact, he loved putting on a show as much as he could.

Jason would hold my hand from leaving the limo and entering the building. He then would hold my waist and walk me back to the limo and made sure to wink and wave at the cameras. Jason had even taken it too far once when he kissed me.

A quick peck on the lips. But it’s still a kiss!  

We never spoke about it or brought it up again. I wonder if Jason even remembers the kiss.

Once we arrive at Bruce’s restaurant, he leads us from the limo and into the restaurant. He smiles and is polite to everyone and expects us to do the same, in which we all do. Dick, Tim, Damian, and Alfred follow Bruce while Jason and I lag behind, because Jason wanted to hold my hand and bring me closer to his body so the cameras can get good shots of us. While I think we’re in the clear from paparazzi and reporters’ questions, one man decided to ask me a personal question.

“Y/N! Is it true you were in a gangbang after high school?!”

I immediately freeze up. It’s like the air was knocked out of me. Every muscle, breath, and cell inside me stopped working.

Jason had stopped alongside me as well. His hand remained on my lower back, while I moved to the man who asked me that question.

“What did you just say?” I repeat, not even aware I’m sounding like I’m losing my mind.

“You didn’t know? Your picture was leaked online. It’s everywhere, babe!” the man declares.

The man then gives me his cell phone. The second my eyes land on the picture, I tense up. There am I, passed out drunk from a party that Rob was throwing after high school. I’m passed out on a bed, wearing short shorts and a pink bikini top. Rob’s friends, Chris, Jake, and Vince are around me, clearly intoxicated like me. Touching me, kissing me, and passing me back and forth between them.

The picture was taken by Rob’s ex-girlfriend Lily, who clearly and obviously wanted Rob back. The picture nearly destroyed our relationship. My parents were even disappointed in me, and scolded me for being so reckless and drunk, but they eventually forgave me. I even told Rob I was drunk, and that his friends were the ones who were taking advantage of me when I was passed out.

Rob didn’t believe it at first, but then we never spoke of the picture again.

But now it looks like Rob wants to ruin any future relationships for me. This picture is the end of me.

The man takes back his cell phone and laughs at me. “At least you learned that pictures never die or disappear from the web, Y/N. Once you fuck up, you’ll be reminded that you fucked up for the rest of your life. Now, can I get a quote?” he asks seriously.

“Fuck you!” I snap.

“Nah, I’m not into gangbangs like you. Maybe you can ask Bruce Wayne and his sons to join you? My God, would you really do that? You must really be a slut!”

Jason steps in front of me and glares down at the shorter man. “Back. The. Fuck. Off.” Jason threatens angrily.

“Damn…you work fast, Y/N? So, what’s next: are you going to fuck the Luthor or Queen family next?!”

I rip my arm from Jason’s grasp, and I run away from the crowd and restaurant. I had to stop after a block to remove my heels, and then I was back to running away.

No matter how far I run. No matter how hard I try to hide my tears. I was broken.

I finally stop running once I realize I made it all the way to the pier. I remember the pier from when Dick showed me where he almost killed his parents’ killer. Walking slowly and barefoot, I make it to the rail where I take a seat and allow my legs to dangle above the water. My arms are holding the rails above me, and for just a second, I wish I could disappear.

If I fall into the dark water, I would be gone quickly, and no one would ever know.

It’ll be as if this pain never happened. It’ll be as if I never caused trouble.

“You’re not going to jump in.”

Jason?

I whip my head around and see Jason approaching me. His black tie is undone, and he removes his jacket. He sits beside me, and carefully places his jacket over my bare shoulders. Jason exhales, and allows his legs to dangle beside mine.

“Wouldn’t it just be easier if I did? I already ruined your family’s reputation. I even ruined my family’s as well,” I remark.

“Reputation? Doll, in case you haven’t noticed, reputations are meant to be ruined,” Jason says, as he chuckles lightly. He glances at me, but I still refuse to look him in the eyes. “Bruce and Alfred are already doing damage control to the media. Since your shitty ex-boyfriend leaked that picture, Timbo and Dick are making sure it’s taken down online and we’re going to sue his ass until he’s poor and dead.”

“What?” I barely whisper and turn to look at him.

“You’re a part of our family whether you like it or not, Y/N. We protect each other, and that means we’re going to protect you, too. And trust me, Bruce and Alfred are very good at clearing up the rumors and paparazzi bullshit. Alfred even said he’s going to talk to your parents, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about, sweetheart. And as for Tim and Dick, your picture will never surface online again.”

I lean my forehead on the rail. “What about Damian?” I ask quietly.

“He’s doing me a favor, but that’s not important right now! I want you to know I believe you, Y/N. You are not what Rob says you are. You’re not a whore. That picture was taken without your consent and those fuckers had no right to do those fucked up, disgusting acts to you while you were drunk. And as for your fucking ex-boyfriend, he’s fucking asshole who should have believed you and beat the shit out of those other fuckers,” Jason growls under his breath, and runs a hand through his dark hair. “If I knew you back then…and knew what happened…I would have killed all of them, sweetheart. I would have shoot off those fuckers’ balls, and then I would have jammed my gun down your boyfriend’s throat, and then up his ass until he pukes up bullets.”

I slowly turn to face Jason, and I soon realize he never took his eyes off me the entire time he’s been talking. “W-why are you saying all of this, Jay?” I whisper.

“Because you deserve to know the truth, and you deserve better. Fuck doll…you’re the strongest babe I know. Y/N, you literally don’t hesitate to speak your mind, you don’t take shit from any of us, and if I remember correctly…you once kicked my ass during that time Dick and I fought over a mission gone wrong. Remember? You took me down with just one punch and kick to the knee?”

“How can I forget? I felt bad right after, and we ended up eating a carton of chocolate ice cream while watching stupid movies on Netflix,” I say softly. “All night long.”

“The best night of my life,” Jason replies, and grins before he scoots over next to me. “This…what happened tonight isn’t going to destroy you, Y/N. Do you want to know what I see happening?”

I force myself to choke back on my tears. “What?” I barely ask.

“You’re going to hug me, and I’m going to tell you you’re stronger than this. You’re going to flip off the fucking paparazzi with me, and we’re going to show them we’re two badasses, who are not going to let the media tell us bullshit, when we know we’re better than all of them. And then, I’m going to take you out to dinner, and then I’m going to spend the entire night convincing you, that you are perfect and how much you mean to me,” Jason says seriously. “Because doll…I’ve got you.”

“Then what?” I ask, wiping a tear from my cheek with a small smile.

“Then I’m going to tell you I love you, and that I want you to give me a chance. I want one chance to show you how fucking crazy I am for you, and that I’m so in love with you that just being near you isn’t enough. I can’t be a friend anymore Y/N, especially when all I want is to kiss you, hold you, and protect you until the day I die. But most importantly, you’re going to tell me that you love me, and want to be with me as well. And after we kiss and seal our love, you’re going to tell me you’re so strong, that no matter what the media, public, and Rob says: you are going to overcome all of this, and you’re never, ever going to let anyone put you down, when you are clearly above and better than all of us.”

Before I can say anything, Jason leans in and kisses me. Our lips together send fireworks throughout my entire body, and I feel as if I’ve fallen into hot lava. I feel my body on fire, and Jason clearly does too, when he reaches to hold my face, as the other holds my waist tightly. As we explore each other’s mouths and bodies (over the clothes), we hear someone honking their vehicle. Jason and I pull away from each other, and then we see it’s the Batmobile.

Jason helps us to our feet, as we check out the Batmobile. The window rolls down and we see Nightwing in the driver’s seat, along with Red Robin beside him. Robin is in the back and shakes his head at us.

“Don’t you know how to answer your cell phone, Todd?” Robin scoffs.

“We were busy at the moment…” Jason says, and leads us to the Batmobile. “Did you do what I asked, Demon Spawn?”

“Affirmative,” Robin says.

“B wants us to drop Y/N back at the manor while we finish what we started,” Nightwing says, with a smile for me.

Jason motions Red Robin to climb into the backseat with Robin. Once the passenger side is clear, he climbs in and pulls me onto his lap as Nightwing revs up the Batmobile. We speed away from the pier, as Nightwing drives us back to the manor.

“Finish what?” I ask curiously.

“Just a…little mission…” Jason answers sheepishly.

“Don’t worry about a thing, Y/N,” Red Robin insists.

“Indeed, you will never go through this again,” Robin speaks up.

“B says not to kill him, so we have to be careful with what we do,” Nightwing clarifies, as I stare at the brothers in confusion.

“What are you guys going to do? Are you…going to kill Rob, and his friends?” I ask.

Nightwing grins at me, as Red Robin and Robin flash their innocent smiles. Jason bursts into a fit of laughter and kisses my cheek. With both strong arms wrapped around me, he leans his face towards mine.

“Oh, we’re not going to kill him or his friends, sweetheart. We’re just going to break their bones!”

[bigskydreaming]

The Ric Grayson AND Talon storylines both end at the same time, and in the same way:

Great Grandpa Creeper Cobb successfully manipulates Ric into position to be brainwashed and become the Talon that Willie the Weenie has always wanted him to be.....this happens for like, two issues.

Then Grandpa Get Ye To A Graveyard Already fucks up....he accidentally brings Talon Ric within sighting distance of the Court’s latest crop of prospective Talon recruits, including a wee baby ten year old orphan being trained to be a future Talon.

And the essential corn kernel of Dick Grayson’s essence, deep down in his psyche, just fucking POPS like its Orville Redenbacher and someone just nuked it in the microwave.

And the real Dick Grayson comes SHRIEKING to the forefront of Talon!Ric’s brain, nothing subtle about it, and the next thing his Rancid Relative knows, he’s being fucking impaled by his great grandson’s blades as said great grandson, who is SUPPOSED to be docilely brainwashed, wtf, is already halfway across the room, diving into the mass of other Talons like they’re a collection of bowling pins and he’s a wrecking ball straight out of a Miley Cyrus music video, but instead of the caterwauling lyrics “I never hit so haaaaaaaard in love,” Dick’s accompanied by a soundtrack of him screaming:

“I WILL PROTECT YOU SMOL CHILD!!!”

As said smol child is just standing there, staring, like....dude, wut?

And then Dick finishes absolutely DESTROYING everything undead and nefarious in sight like he’s the Tasmanian Devil on meth, and he turns to said smol child and begins the process of Smothering, as his hands flutter all up and down checking for injuries but not touching, like: 

“Did they hurt you are you alright you’re safe now cough once for I’m all good or punch me in the no-no’s if I’m making you feel unsafe, I will make sure you are totally safe from here on out, you are my baby now, I have decided, but like, only if you want to be.”

And smol child is decidedly overwhelmed but Man-Who-Speaks-Like-He-Has-Pixie-Sticks-In-Place-Of-Blood-Vessels seems harmless, if weird, and is definitely preferable to the weird Bird Men who kidnapped him off the streets and tried to teach him how to kill people and make death threats out of nursery rhymes. And he doesn’t have a lot of experience in OTHER subterranean lairs to compare this one too, but he’s decidedly not a fan, so when Dick asks if he would like him to take him to see Batman and Batgirl and Robin and other superheroes who can also reassure him there will be no more homework on How To Torture People Good, he’s like....”yeah I guess. If you want.”

And so Dick scoops him up with glee and takes off through the tunnels, yelling back over his shoulder: “Bye Greatly-Gross-Grandpa, hate you lots, don’t call, don’t write, you’re officially off my Christmas card list, hasta la neeeeeeeeeever.”

Thereupon swiftly grappling across the Bludhaven rooftops, yelling PARKOUR! just because he can and its fun, and its weirdly relaxing for his wee passenger, because look, this dude may be weird as fuck, but he’s clearly got the moves to protect him from the Undead Legions of Ornithologists and he seems too....fun to be evil, like not in the Joker kinda way like he’s seen on TV in previous foster homes where its like, jeez dude, try hard much, but more like an adult who just quit a soul-crushing cubicle-dwelling corporate-craphole job and has suddenly been reminded that the sky is blue, flowers smell good, and there IS a Santa Claus, Virginia.

Thus by the time they arrive at Wayne Manor, with no attempt made to hide where they’re going from his wee passenger’s eyes - Dick has already decided he’s keeping the kid, pending said kid’s approval but look, kids like him and he’s determined to bring his A game to the pitch meeting, so he likes his chances - said wee passenger disembarks in the Batcave but stays close by, clinging to Dick’s side in an ever so slight way that allows for plausible deniability later, once he gets his bearings and also his bravado back.

“Dick?!” Comes the chorus of voices from the rest of the family, who are all there already, by great coincidence and in great defiance of the crapfests in their own individual titles, but also who the fuck cares. And Dick puffs out his chest, cuz he’s putting on a good show for his new kiddo, first impressions are important...

“Tis I, fam! The one true Dick Grayson has returned! Huzzah!”

Look, being completely oblivious to his Greatest Dork Energy coinciding with his Times He Most Attempts To Be Impressive, is like, Peak Dick Grayson characterization, you can trust me, I’m a doctor. 

And Tim’s like, “Why are you dressed like a Talon?”

And Dick’s like, “Isn’t the better question why AREN’T you dressed like a Talon?”

Which makes no sense but shhh, I’m running out of steam here, don’t question the atmosphere, just let it be.

And Bruce is like, “Who’s your friend?”

With like...designs and agendas already in mind, because said wee Talon-to-be is cute and adorable and bravely trying to act like he is not at all intimidated by his surroundings and is in total control of what’s going on like, he meant to be here, this is all according to plan, yes, excellent, everything is progressing nicely....

Which as everyone knows, are the three key essential traits Bruce looks for in prospective adoptees....

So Dick snarls and later blames it on residual Talon-ness, they’re very territorial bird...assassin....people....anyway, the adrenaline is still high and also he has swiftly become attached because whether kiddo knows it or not, Dick 100% credits him with the brainwash-breaking and thus when factored in with the cuteness quotient, what we have here is an instant recipe for Protectiveness slash Possessiveness that would be creepy and inappropriate if this wasn’t pure crack. 

But crack it is, and thus Dick curls a protective arm around the kiddo like the lap-bar on a particularly turbulent roller coaster and applies G-Force sufficient to keep even Superman from prying him out of his hands - but in a gentle, non- ’crushing kinda way that might hurt the kiddo,’ even though physics doesn’t work like that, except look, these are CRACK PHYSICS, they can and they do work like that. 

And he’s all, “I already adopted him, so back off, Bruce, I’ll cut you. But also hi dad, I missed you. In spirit I mean, like I had amnesia and then I was brainwashed so technically its probably a reach to say I missed anyone but just roll with it. Also I can haz hugs now, please?”

And then Damian apparates in front of Dick amid a cloud of Disapproval that’s really just a cover for OMG-I-Was-Without-You-And-It-Was-Terrible-And-I’m-So-Glad-You’re-Back-But-Also-Who-Is-This-Interloper-And-Why-Is-He-Stealing-My-Hug.

“Tt. Grayson. Your absence was...less than desirable. See to it that this doesn’t happen again. Also what is that and why is it here.”

“Aww, Dami, I’m sorry. I promise to install a “please have the nearest available psychic reboot my brain in case of future brain damage slash amnesia” clause in my living will, and soon as I get a free second, I’ll break the fourth wall and blackmail the DC editorial staff into declaring me off-limits for all death, brainwashing and/or kidnapping plots for at least the next four major crossover events. I have naughty pictures. They’ll cave.”

“Hmph,” Dami says. He resumes staring pointedly at the kiddo, who juts his chin defiantly and stares back while clinging more tightly to Dick, because he may have very little clue what’s going on, but he’s a quick one and has at least picked up on the fact that Dick wants him and this other kid wants Dick. Which combined with the rescuing and the kicking of bad guy ass means Dick is probably Quality and In Demand and Of Value, and thus he might as well stake a claim now and worry about whether or not to act on that or skedaddle later, once he’s got more intel. He’s a natural Bat, this one, but then, that’s probably why he was in Toddler Talon Boot Camp, he scored high on whatever weird aptitude tests they used to scope out talent, and by talent we mean murder-skills.

“Dami,” Dick admonishes then, “This isn’t an it, he’s a person, and he was recently traumatized so promise me you’ll be on your best behavior or at least your ‘engaging in shenanigans with Jon’ behavior. And he’s not competition, you’re my Dames and my little bro, and he’s potentially your nephew, which is a whole separate category and no threat to you and your baby bro status at all, so retract the claws. If anything, the real danger is Pops adopting him and thus supplanting you as the official Baby Bird of our generation, so make like an ally and help me get that dangerous “I’m gonna adopt this kid so hard” gleam out of Bruce’s eye before it gets any gleamier. We’re still only halfway through my tearful reunion and having to cut Dad before we even get to cake would be a major mood-killer, but I’ll do it, I swear. Also, get your Baby Bird behind over here and hug me already, I have two arms.”

Damian rolled his eyes but obediently disappeared and reappeared nestled against Dick’s other side in the blink of an eye. The proper application of ninja skills has always been the pursuance of hugs and cuddles. Thus sayeth the crack.

“Hey, I do get cake, right?” Dick asked suddenly, looking around dangerously. “I was amnesiac and also brainwashed, I deserve cake, TELL me there’s gonna be cake.”

“Well that answers whether or not we should be worried about this being an attempted infiltration or not,” Jason says, strolling over casually. “No impostor or brainwashing script-writer could ever duplicate the Essence de Dick so perfectly. Hey squirt. Welcome to the madhouse. I’m Jason, what’s your name?”

“Oh right,” Dick realized, cocking his head. “Hey, what is your name?”

“Really, Dick?” Tim sighed, fondly exasperated. “I realize you like to jump from A straight to Z whenever possible, but steps B through Y aren’t usually just mere suggestions.”

“It hadn’t come up yet,” Dick defended himself.

“Yes, why would it have,” Duke mused from where he was leaning over and snapping his fingers in front of Bruce’s eyes, in a futile attempt at tearing his gaze away from the viable adoption candidate within 20 meters from him. It was probably best that they get this adoption thing inked out and signed off on as soon as possible - it was the only thing that was definitively going to get that “Argh, I’ve spotted treasure ahoy” look out of Bruce’s eyes. And Alfred had been very clear :Bruce was forbidden to adopt any more kids himself until he got a better handle on juggling the six he already had. Which. The past year had...probably not met Alfred’s standards on, so it didn’t seem likely he’d be waiving that requirement any time soon. 

(And nobody wanted to get in between the Unstoppable Force that was Bruce’s ‘must adopt all the orphans’ and the Immovable Object that was Alfred’s ‘must maintain at least a reasonable fascimile of order in this household, even if it is a total sham, appearances matter.’)

“Hey!” Dick protested. “I’ve been busy, okay? There was fighting and then there was parkouring and now we’re reunifying, and it wasn’t like I was just calling him ‘that kid’ in my head, I was calling him ‘my kiddo’ which is a perfectly reasonable identifier and thus more specific detail just....hadn’t been relevant yet!”

“So uh, bee tee dubs, what is your name, buddy?” Dick asked, looking down. His kiddo looked back up at him for a long, measuring moment, and then he shrugged.

“I’ll tell you in exchange for some cake. You said something about there being cake, but I don’t see any.”

Dick got misty-eyed at that. “See? He already prioritizes like me. This was destiny! Also, you heard my kiddo, do we not deserve cake? It has been a very long day, there was murder and mayhem and more. Also, my creeper great grandpa was there being icksome, and you know how much that weirds me out.”

“Come along, Master Dick,” Alfred said then, appearing out of nowhere thanks to his Bat-Butler Magic. “And your young charge as well. I already have your favorite baking in the oven and it should be done shortly. Lemon meringue with raspberry layers.”

“That’s disgusting and I will not participate in any ceremony that treats that as part of a celebration instead of just a weird kind of laxative,” Jason said loftily, though it escaped no one’s notice that he was the first to the stairs.

“Shut your facehole, its delicious and amazing and you will like it or I will kick your ass,” Dick said, equally loftily.

“Boys,” Bruce said with a long-suffering sigh, as the threat of brotherly bloodshed was enough to finally shake him out of his orphan-induced stupor.

“At MARIO KART. I will kick his ass at MARIO KART, ugh, jeez, B, why do you always assume the worst of us?”

“Precedent,” Tim said dryly.

“Who the hell asked the Oompa Loompa Brigade to weigh in with all ninety of his pounds?” Jason called back from the top of the stairs. 

Cass came up on Dick’s left, where the kiddo was one half of the sandwich made by him and Damian on Dick’s other side. She smiled down at him when he directed his still very wide-eyed gaze at her, landing on her after his latest sweep of the cavern and all its contained chaos, as if trying to take it all in - most likely in the hopes that if he could manage that, somehow the last 72 hours of his life might suddenly make sense. He really was adorable.

“Don’t worry,” she beamed at him, reaching out to pat him comfortingly on his shoulder, right above where Dick’s arm was still curled around it like a warm blanket - albeit one with the tensile hold of a python. “They’re all crazy, but only in the good ways.”

Duke scoffed as he slipped ahead of them and started taking the stairs two at a time. “It’s funny how you say that like you’re some kind of exception to the rule.”

“Bold words, little brother,” Cass called after him. He only shouted back from the top in a booming voice, his words echoing down the narrow stone stairway dramatically.

“Am I not Batclan?”

“Oooh, is that a new thing we’re doing?” Dick asked excitedly. “Somebody catch me up, I demand context. I smell a story there.”

“It was Jason’s fault,” Tim said automatically. Dick nodded.

“Sure, that tracks. Continue.”

Bruce trailed after his brood of batlings and birdlets, sidling over to where Barbara was waiting for the elevator. The latter having hung back to watch the commotion with the air of one taking notes for repurposing in the form of future blackmail material. Her ever extending network of spies and informants made so much more sense, suddenly.

He cleared his throat while they listened to the hum of the elevator’s machinery as it descended to their level.

“I wasn’t really thinking of adopting the boy,” he said. Not at all sullenly, nor with a trace of defensiveness to be found.

“Of course you weren’t, Bruce,” Barbara said. She patted his arm fondly, with all the conviction of a kindergarten teacher whose student was attempting to claim innocence on the matter of a paint disaster perfectly matching the paint stains on his hands.

“I wasn’t,” Bruce muttered as she preceded him into the elevator. 

Why did nobody ever believe him?

[soapberryspringsrpg]

Forbidden Fruits

Hello Berries! The nights are getting longer, the air is getting crisper, the lattes are getting pumpkin spicier so you know what time it is. Time for the third ever Soapberry Springs writing prompt!

This prompt is meant to appeal to that part of many of us that once devoured cheesy romance books, thrilling over cliche after cliche so long as the right people ended up riding off into the sunset together. To play along, please choose one of the scenarios under the cut inspired by the brave harlequin romance writers and their specific books. 

You are free to change genders and names, of course; the only two things that must remain as posted are a) the title and b) the plot.

As always there is no time limit and no due date. Players are welcome to write self-paras, blurbs or novellas, poetry, chatzys or threads, to edit graphics, make playlists, etc. All creative takes on the theme are welcome and encouraged! 

Select below from prompts!

Feyness By E.S. Carter In this dark and sexy story, Faye’s cruel, powerful father forces her to marry wickedly gorgeous Cole. She’s convinced that Cole is pure evil — and he’s determined to break her…

Delicious Temptation By Sabrina Sol

After years of keeping her family’s struggling bakery afloat, pastry chef Amara is tired of being safe and predictable. Can she convince Eric, her brother’s ex-best friend, to make good on his bad-boy reputation? A smoldering erotic romance!

An Unconventional Courtship By Scotty Cade

Personal assistant Tristan and his CEO boss, Webber, both struggle to hide their true feelings from each other. But when the pair travel to the Caribbean on a business trip, they discover they can’t hold back their desires forever…

Grayson’s Mate By Tamsin Baker

An alpha werewolf in search of his mate is led to the last person he expected: the handsome stranger he rescued from a car accident. Their desire is undeniable, but can a werewolf and a mortal man find a way to be together?

Make Me Want By Katee Robert

Lucy is a confident, high-powered lawyer — but her ex-boyfriend gave her self-esteem issues in bed. Can her friend Gideon help her realize she has the power to drive him wild?

Bound by Honor By Cora Reilly

To fulfill her father’s promise, Aria must marry notorious, coldhearted Luca. But can she break down Luca’s walls and find the passion within him?

Bad Neighbor By M. O’Keefe

Sparks fly when Charlotte meets her sexy new neighbor Jesse. He’s an alpha bad boy who isn’t afraid of anything — except for his growing attraction to Charlotte, as their desire for each other rages out of control…

London Calling By Clare Lydon

A charming, witty romance: Jess never expected to be moving back in with her parents at the age of 32. But just as things seem hopeless, she makes an unexpected connection with a gorgeous woman. Could happily ever after be on the horizon?

Three Wrong Turns in the Desert By Neil Plakcy

Aidan can’t stop thinking about Liam, the alluring bodyguard he met in a Tunisian bar… When a high-octane chase takes them into the desert, their desires reach a boiling point in this steamy adventure!

Tempting Boundaries By Carrie Ann Ryan

Decker has always lusted after his best friend’s little sister, the woman he can’t have. But when Miranda decides she wants him, he may not be able to resist any longer…

Camp H.O.W.L. By Bru Baker

A sexy shifter romance! When Adrian finally turns into a werewolf — eight years late — Tate, a counselor at a camp for new werewolves, is ready to guide him. But cynical Tate never expected Adrian to be his destined mate…

Roller Girl By Vanessa North

When newly single Tina joins Joanne’s roller derby team, their friendship ignites a steamy passion behind closed doors…

The Shop on Main By Kay Correll

Bella is devastated to learn that she may lose her small shop — and an attractive businessman is the root of her worries. When they clash, can she settle her financial woes on her own and embrace a second chance at love?

The Road to You By Harper Bliss

Serious Katherine and free-spirited Ali have been enemies since college… but fate keeps throwing them together. As the years go on, will they see another side to each other — one they could learn to love?

Road to the Sun By Keira Andrews

When his eight-year-old daughter is kidnapped in Montana, single dad Jason Kellerman enlists the help of park ranger Ben Hettler. Suppressing their burning mutual attraction, the two men begin a wild and desperate hunt through the wilderness…

Captive of the Hitman By Alexis Abbott

When Alicia gets caught up in a dangerous situation, Mikhail takes her captive for her protection. But their sexual chemistry is off the charts — and he refuses to let her go…

Feeling Hot By Elle Kennedy

Home from deployment, Navy SEAL Cash McCoy forms a tantalizing connection with a mysterious blonde. Little does he know that she’s Jen Scott — his commanding officer’s sister! Can he keep his hands to himself around the one woman who’s off-limits?

Professional Distance By Silvia Violet

Heartbroken Thornwell swears off love — until he hires aspiring chef Riley as an escort! Though the two men couldn’t be more different, they begin to fall for each other. Can Riley convince Thornwell to set aside his doubts and live deliciously?

Black By T.L. Smith

Left heartbroken by his first and only love, hit man Liam Black is surprised to find her a decade later. But Rose isn’t the woman she used to be…

Training Sasha By Becca Jameson

Sasha is eager to explore her submissive side, but BDSM club owner Lincoln — who’s also her brother’s friend — won’t admit his attraction to her. Can she convince him to help her explore her sexual desires?

Stalking Buffalo Bill By J. Leigh Bailey

From the moment coyote shifter Donnie spotted buffalo shifter William at his cafe, he was smitten. When deadly figures from William’s past come back to settle unfinished business, the pair team up to ward off danger — and protect their future together.

Dog Days By TA Moore

Apocalyptic weather conditions are wreaking havoc across the globe. But weredog Danny has more immediate problems — including his wolfish ex-lover, Jack…

Dirty Girl By Meghan March

When Greer is drunk one night, she posts an embarrassing personal ad — and now she has thousands of takers! But bad boy Cavanaugh is a cut above the rest…

Tonight’s Encore By Parker Avrile

When Zac returns to his small hometown, he renews his relationship with Reed, who knew him before he became a rock star. But the pressures of fame could tear them apart in this steamy gay romance!

The Longest River By Hildred Billings

After the death of her twin sister, Helen moves to a secluded mountain village to find her independence and heal. There she meets widowed bookstore owner Kiyoko — an introduction that feels like fate…

Dirty Daughter By JB Duvane

Emily is determined to seduce her mother’s former psychologist, Max. But she doesn’t realize that he has his own plans for her — and soon she’ll be locked up in his remote cottage, forced to satisfy his every desire…

Mr. So Wrong By R.C. Stephens

A searing, sexy romance! After finding wealthy bad boy Al caught in a blizzard, Samantha brings him to her ranch to nurse him back to health. She doesn’t want to let anyone close to her heart, but why can’t she keep Al out of her bed?

Tempt the Playboy By Natasha Madison

After arrogant playboy Noah has a one-night stand with Kaleigh, he’s determined to claim her again. But she may not fall for his charms so easily…

One Last Heist By Dahlia Donovan

Partners in love and in crime, Toshiro and Mack plan to get their crew together for one last heist. It was supposed to be easy — but as they become embroiled in a deadly conspiracy, the stakes will rise out of their control…

Little Liar By W Winters

With so much pain in her past, there’s no way Allie should be drawn to bad boy Dean. And yet she can’t seem to stay away from him…

Seducing Cinderella By Gina L. Maxwell

Physical therapist Lucie needs help wooing her crush, so she asks her brother’s best friend, Reid, to teach her the art of seduction. But their arrangement leads to an unexpected chemistry, and Reid can’t give her up…

Tormentor Mine By Anna Zaires

In this “darkly addictive and hauntingly beautiful” romance, assassin Peter comes to torture Sara. But then he becomes obsessed with her…

As Sure as the Sun By Elle Keaton

After a brush with death, retired US Marshal Sacha starts anew in a small town. As he works to restore an old building, he crosses paths with history enthusiast Seth — and discovers a sizzling attraction that may persuade both men to risk their hearts.

The Endgame Duet By Cleary James

When her life takes a turn for the worse, Lisa offers herself to wealthy Grayson in exchange for the money she needs. For seven days he can do whatever he wants with her — but will they be able to control their sensual desires?

The Beat of Love By L. Loryn

In this passionate gay romance, brooding musician Wolfe and handsome actor Miguel court the media by pretending to be a couple. Will their fake celebrity relationship crash and burn — or turn into a connection more powerful than they expected?

The Isle of... Where? By Sue Brown

When Liam Marshall travels to the Isle of Wight to fulfill his best friend’s dying wish, Sam Owens helps him through it. They swiftly develop a connection — but does their budding relationship have an expiration date?

Ruthless By Dani René

Dangerous bad boy Callan always gets whatever he wants — so when he sees sweet Madison at a BDSM club, he must have her. A darkly delicious erotic tale!

Fire and Flint By Andrew Grey

When single father Jordan turns to sheriff’s deputy Pierre with his concerns about a corrupt judge, the two men discover they’ve made a powerful enemy. They’ll do whatever it takes to protect each other in this stirring and suspenseful read.

Entangled by Nikki Jefford

Two months after dying, Gray wakes up in her twin’s body. She’s forced to spend every other day impersonating snobby Charlene — and only warlock Raj notices the difference. Can Gray be saved, or will she fade altogether?

Southern Spirits by Angie Fox

When Verity discovers the power to commune with the spirit world, she teams up with local bad boy Ellis to evict some undead tenants.

Witch Slapped by Dakota Cassidy

Stripped of her powers, ex-witch Stevie Cartwright teams up with the ghost of a sexy British spy to solve a murder case involving a bogus psychic medium.

Issued to the Bride: One Navy SEAL by Cora Seton

Navy SEAL vet Brian has always dreamed of owning his own ranch — so when he’s asked to marry a general’s daughter, Cass, in exchange for a share of her land, he can’t refuse.

Sit… Stay… Beg by Roxanne St. Claire

Garrett, a dot-com millionaire turned dog rescuer, keeps his heart on a tight leash — until journalist Jessie is hired to write a profile on him…

Earthrise by M.C.A. Hogarth

On a mysterious rescue mission, no-nonsense ship captain Reese Eddings commands her vessel Earthrise straight into danger, battling pirates and slavers to save elf prince Hirianthial…

Chez Stinky by Susan C. Daffron

Kat inherits her great-aunt’s dilapidated house, which is filled to the brim with pets and complications. As she adjusts to her new surroundings — and connects with Joel, who’s as handy as he is handsome — will she embrace her new start?

Rumor Has It by Elisabeth Grace

When an embarrassing video goes viral, Ellie Wagner’s reputation pays the price. Her life seems ruined, but a fresh start awaits when she falls for Mason Nash…

Smart Tass by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Hunter has been tormenting his bookish neighbor Tass since they were children. But when she’s challenged to date him — and he needs to take her virginity to win a bet — can a fake relationship solve their problems and reveal their true feelings for one another?

Once Upon a Time by Blair Babylon

When princess Flicka decides to flee her violent ex, her bodyguard Dieter is the only one who can help her. But their irresistible attraction heats up in ways neither of them expected…

Malevolent by Jana DeLeon

PI Shaye Archer takes on the baffling case of Emma Frederick, a woman convinced that her abusive husband is out to get her. Except Emma killed her husband weeks ago…

Club Shadowlands by Cherise Sinclair

Stranded during a storm, Jessica takes shelter in a nearby house. But when she discovers it’s actually a private BDSM club, she begins to explore her fantasies with a sexy dominant…

Stripped by Stacy-Deanne

Baltimore cop Dee Quarter investigates a cult whose charismatic leader, Jonathan Wild, is determined to ensnare her…

Kiss of Fire by Rebecca Ethington

Joclyn just sent her high school bully flying through the air! Could her phenomenal power have something to do with the strange new scar on her neck? Her handsome best friend Ryland holds all the secrets…

Heaven in His Arms by Lisa Ann Verge

Forced to take a bride, Andr�� chooses sickly Genevieve, assuming she won’t survive the harsh winter. But Genevieve is not the frail noblewoman she appears to be, and André soon realizes that he needs her more than he ever expected…

In Search of a Love Story by Rachel Schurig

Tired of losing at love, Emily undertakes a research project: she’ll binge on romance novels and chick flicks until she learns their secret. Handsome Greg could be her Prince Charming — but why is Emily’s friend Elliot so unhappy about her plan?

The Chef’s Mail-Order Bride by Cindy Caldwell

Tripp trained at an elite culinary school, but he can’t get a loan for his restaurant without a wife. Raised in a bakery, Sadie agrees to head west as Tripp’s bride. Can the two learn to work together as they open their new restaurant — and find love in the process?

The Witch Hunter by Nicole R. Taylor

Cursed by an ancient witch, vampire Zachary will die a slow, agonizing death. His only shot at survival is Aya, the so-called Witch Hunter, who has been asleep for 150 years… But she has no interest in helping him.

Ignite by Kaitlyn Davis

When Kira discovers her mystical powers, she must fight for her life — and choose between sweet, goofy Luke and gorgeous, blood-hungry Tristan.

Crash by Drew Jordan

Stranded in the Alaskan wilderness, Laney takes refuge in the arms of the stranger who rescues her. But will he be her savior — or her destroyer?

Going Hard by Kelsey Browning

When rich playboy Grif Steele returns to his hometown, he reconnects with Carlie Beth Parrish. But with a murderous stalker on the prowl, can Grif protect her — and the daughter he never knew he had?

Hers to Take by Talia Ellison

When Octavia gets caught in a dangerous situation, her rival, Aaron, offers her a deal she can’t refuse — to escape with her life, she must pretend to be his sex slave. But they don’t expect a forbidden attraction to ignite…

Claimed by Evangeline Anderson

The Kindred race is primarily male, and must choose among human women for their brides. When Olivia is drafted into marrying broken and tortured Baird, she’s determined to resist — but she hadn’t counted on falling for her alien warrior husband…

Forever a Soldier by Genevieve Turner

When Hank returns from combat, he agrees to move into a 100-year-old house owned by his great-great aunt and uncle. His peace is disturbed by Lale, an inquisitive scholar digging into his family’s secrets. But their attraction will open up hidden places in their hearts…

Liam by Kimber White

Though forbidden to be with his fated mate, sexy shifter Liam will stop at nothing to claim Molly, the spitfire who sets his heart aflame. But is Molly ready to embrace his wolfish identity?

The Second Sister by Rae D. Magdon

When Eleanor’s father dies, she’s left with her unhinged stepmother and two stepsisters, Luciana and Belladonna. Eleanor must prevent wicked Luciana from bewitching a prince — but meanwhile, beautiful Belladonna stirs up feelings she can’t resist…

Time to Upsize by Graeme Aitken

Blake’s the perfect boyfriend as far as Stephen is concerned: easygoing, gentle, and sweet. But lately, Blake has been getting increasingly jealous, and it doesn’t help when gorgeous Rick moves next door. Can Stephen resist temptation?

Playing Games by Liliana Rhodes

Cassie gets her dream job working for billionaire Gabriel — and she’s determined to remain professional. But their irresistible attraction ignites after she’s caught trying to watch him in the shower…

Kindling Flames: Gathering Tinder by Julie Wetzel

After landing a job as assistant to a handsome CEO, Victoria feels like her life is finally on the right track. But when she discovers her new boss is the city’s most powerful vampire, she’ll have to decide whether her attraction to him is worth the risk…

Switching Hour by Robyn Peterman

After a stint in witch prison, Zelda is on magic probation — and if she can’t finish a mysterious task in the next month, she’ll be stripped of her powers forever. But a gorgeous werewolf may prove to be a tempting distraction…

Sacrificed to the Dragon by Jessie Donovan

Dragon shifter Tristan has despised humans ever since hunters killed his mother. But his clan insists he needs an heir — and a human mate. When he meets gorgeous Melanie, a slow-burning fire ignites deep within…

The Vampire’s Mail Order Bride by Kristen Painter

Running from the mob, Delaney becomes a mail-order bride in the spooky town of Nocturne Falls — only to learn her fiancé is a 400-year-old vampire!

Haunted on Bourbon Street by Deanna Chase

When empath Jade Calhoun moves into a haunted New Orleans apartment, she must use her unique abilities — and the help of her sexy landlord — to ward off a powerful spirit.

[hitchell-mope]

Ok I’ve been working on something for years that I hope to make it into a tv show one day but probably can’t because once upon a time beat me to it

So imagine

Michael darling single handedly stopped a war that was never meant to end at the cost of his life and to correct “something” the universe sees fit to tear open a hole in the fabric of reality which all cartoons bleed through. Disney Pixar Simpson’s marvel dc blue sky laika everything you can think of are now inhabiting the real world the only humans left are Wendy darling and her close family and friends

Disney’s taken over Great Britain and Ireland. Mickey and Minnie are the king and queen until they see fit to retire

Simpson’s are now in Hollywood Bart is filthy stinking rich and the Whitehouse is his mansion

So on and so forth

Main characters

Jane Ophelia Emerson: now known as Jaime aster blonde hair blue eyes around 5 foot 8 inches. Has magic like the whole of her mothers side of the family. Unlocks it when she meets Peter Pan for the first time. Like her mother and grandmother before her she fell for him hard. So imagine the bitterness when she discovers she wasn’t the first to fall for him and she won’t be the last seeing as he’s fated to be her son in law. She stops her and her friends physical aging process when she’s 16 because she’s terrified of growing up and having to leave everything behind. Gets married to three guys. James pleiades Hawkins from treasure planet. An evil bisexualversion of superman she was forced to create out of two variations of kryptonite (black and pink). William smees illegitimate son that he got from a hooker on the neverland pier. Padraic hutchins. And together they’ve adopted three kids not much younger then them. Youngest to oldest. Timothy Tiberius Turner. Horrid Henry. Alice Liddell. Preferred drink is olive oil until she decides to stop aging then she goes all out on the booze. She really does not like using mjolnir but that’s exactly why she can use it. She killed her own cousin after Peter Pan was taken advantage of. Speaks how she was raised. Posh. But the angrier she gets the more common she sounds.

James pleiades Hawkins: nicknamed Plei shoulder length brown hair turquoise eyes five foot nine. Space cadet. Made a little mistake in that he wished he had magic when holding an empty lamp. This means he’s now a genie but he can appear normal except when angered and he turns an olive green. His lamp stays hidden in Jaime’s blood stream. Very protective of his kids. From montressor but speaks with a middling California accent

Kal: under duress Jaime creates him by combining black and pink kryptonite (according to what I’ve read black turns him evil and somehow pink turns him gay I don’t know why so please don’t ask) so imagine a five foot eleven inch evil bisexual superman built like a tank flirting with anyone he sees. There are limits. He cannot go after anyone younger then Jaime or older then Wendy. Or anyone she is directly related to. Has a side thing going with she hulk (cause of that man of steel woman of Kleenex problem). Looks so much like Clark Kent (blue eyes jet black hair) that once the bitterness has subsided they eventually declare themselves twins. Actually talks with a Kansas accent (it’s a pet peeve of mine) hair goes to his shoulder blades

Padraic Hutchins: five foot ten. Mixed race but unless he showed you a picture of his father (mr smee who is like really white) you wouldn’t be able to tell. Dark black skin (think terry crews) dark blonde waist length hair. Emerald green eyes. Met Jaime when he was working as cabin boy (and hooks personal stool master) on the Jolly Roger. Jaime offered him a deal. Sword fight just him and her. She wins he becomes her butler and all that entails. He wins she becomes his butler and all that entails. It comes to a stalemate. He decides to go with her though. (If you had to wipe hooks ass wouldn’t you leave given a chance) invents a new method of killing when getting revenge on a racist homophobic cop in Springfield. He may look like terry crews but speaks like Katie McGrath (his accent is Dublin posh)

Merida: jaimes best friend. Scottish. Really really curly bright orange hair halfway down her back. Grey blue eyes. 5”8. Harsh rivalry with Clarabelle cow Clarabelle keeps calling her fat by accident. She is not fat. The slightly barrel like figure she has is pure muscle. Moved in with Jaime after an absolutely blow out fight with her mother and hasn’t looked back since. Met Parker through tragedy. The were on an excursion with the parr children and dash died in front of her. Completely destroyed her for months. Tried to change everything about herself to feel better. None of it worked. Cut and straightened her hair. Tried to lose weight (just became addicted to caffeine). She even gave up archery (which if you know her is a serious cause for concern). And through it all Parker was there

Peter Benjamin Parker: the group calls him Parker because there are one too many Peters in the world and they needed to differentiate. Brown hair that grows out to his chin. Brown eyes. 5”9. Splits himself so he can have a somewhat normal life. There is now three of him. The original with Merida. Petey living with aunt may. Spider-Man. Parker actually grows to like the venom suit and through magic is actually able to control it. Realised he was bi when he kissed Padraic to cheer him up after Kal was being a jackass. Then harry arrived. Still has his native New York accent but it interchanges with a British accent after he’s lived in Kensington for some time.

Melody: Danish princess. Daughter of Ariel and Eric. Granddaughter of king triton. Black hair blue eyes. 5”8. Has a thing for blonde men. Was attracted to Cody before he told her he was asexual then she layed off him. Eventually gets with zephyr. Non practicing catholic except in one respect. Jaime gave her her own trident. Loves to swim. She’ll shrink herself down and use a wine glass if she has to. Always wears her hair in a ponytail

Zephyr: French Romani. Blonde shoulder length hair in a pageboy style cut. Green blue eyes. 5”9. Always wears the outfit he had on in his film only now it’s in an older more mature style. Smitten with melody when they met but she had a thing for Cody so he couldn’t say anything. He just got steadily more drunk. Scarily flexible. Likes to hang from chandeliers with his toes. Bit like a blonde Dick Grayson. Non practicing catholic in the same way melody is.

Cody Anderson: Swedish but has spent a lot of time in Australia. 5”11. Blonde hair long enough to braid. Keeps it in a man bun 90% of the time. Asexual. Much rather run climb or play video games then date or sleep with someone. Poor thing has been conscripted as Kals wingman. He absolutely hates it. He just tells the intended targets the truth and if Kal can’t seal the deal on his own merits it’s not Cody’s problem. Apparently can survive on one hour sleep.

Alice Liddell: one of Jaime Plei Kal and Padraics adoptive children. 12 years old. 5”5. Reality warper. Mostly this means she can make a portal to wonderland through any surface. But then she gets magic and all bets are off. Adopted because we birth parents were about to have her committed to an asylum because she kept insisting wonderland is real (it is of course but they have literal Victorian sensibilities and to them Alice has cracked) favourite Dad is Plei. Blonde hair half way down her back. Blue eyes. Actually does look like Jaime a little bit except Jaime’s hair is more of a tawny gold colour and Alice’s is more yellow. Like Jaime defies the dumb blonde stereotype. Uses her powers in very creative ways. Eventually ditches the pinafore

“Horrid” henry: except not really. His biological parents are just jackasses who scapegoat him so the worm is the professed golden child. Reddish brown hair and definitely fulfils the firey redhead stereotype. But manages to use it in helpful ways after Henry’s his own magic. Loves his chemistry set. Many a stink bomb was made from it. 5”4. 11 years old. Green eyes. Favourite Dad is Kal. Again like Zephyr, he always wears the same outfit. Adopted because Jaime could see that he was miserable at his own house and was always happiest when she was babysitting him.

Timothy Tiberius Turner: brown hair blue eyes pink hat. Still has his fairy godparents because Jorgen Von strangle is terrified of Jaime (the girl unionised death). Not stupid per-say but he doesn’t think things through. Favourite Dad is Padraic. Adopted after Jaime went to talk to his fairies and saw his babysitter strapping him to a torture wheel. Definitely the baby of the group being 10 years old

Harry Osborn: 5”9. Black hair blue eyes. Bi. Enters a relationship with Parker and Merida. Hung up on Parker for longer then he’d care to admit. But always believed (as Parker did) that he was straight. Strikes up an odd friendship with Jaime over the “Peters who have ruined their lives” (Parker and Pan) the only difference Osborn is now with his Peter and Jaime doesn’t love her one anymore. He revels in the fact Parker feels the need to protect him and their respective positions in the relationship have changed. Was dying before he used magic to cure the unknown disease that would ravage his body. Couldn’t use his fortune to find a cure because his fathers will stipulates that he’d be disinherited if he tried to cure himself. That and he wanted to defend himself properly should the need arise

Ashton Darling: Jaime’s cousin born in the same hospital month day and the exact same time. Shoulder length tawny gold hair blue eyes same height as Jaime. It’s a running gag that he and Jaime look so much alike they could easily be the same person cloned and don’t think that before puberty when her hair was shorter they didn’t pull pull a twin switch. They even have the same taste in men. Fictional with bright eyes. Expected a bigger reaction from Jaime when he came out to her. She knew and they carried on as normal. Eventually starts dating Jack Frost from rise of the guardians. His parents are fans of that 70’s show. His younger brother is called Topher

Jack Frost: pure white hair blue eyes. 5”9. Always in the same outfit. Guardian of fun. Has a sibling like rivalry with Elsa. She thinks he’s annoying and he thinks she’s boring despite them having the same powers. In Jack Elsa sees what she could have had. Yes Jack was lonely but he made the best of it for centuries and he had people to talk to (North toothania bunnymund and Sandy) whereas Elsa retreated into herself scared of going near others. Though they come to an understanding and when Jaime gives the shovel talk to Jack Elsa gives the shovel talk to Ashton. Ashton and Jack met in similar circumstances to Merida and Parker except the Ashton and Jack’s weren’t nearly as tragic as Merida and Parker

Taran: 13 years old. 5”6. Red hair green eyes. Dalbens ward but somehow ends up staying at Jaime’s (admittedly insanely cavernous) flat more then necessary and everyone knows why except him. Alice has taken a shine to him. He doesn’t quite know why. Gurgis still attached to his hip. He and Eilonwy drifted apart but they are still friends. Has next to no idea what’s going on more than half the time

Felicia Hardy: old friend of Harry and Parker. The friend that would not leave. Her father died and she still is not over it. Cinnamon colour hair hazel eyes. 5”8. Hapless. That is until the symbiote infects her and almost starts a war with the galactic federation.

Johnny Storm: like Parker the group just call him storm. 5”9. Mid length spiky blonde hair. Blue eyes. The human torch. Enters the group by happenstance. Works at Oscorp on an intern. When Parker took the fall for what Felicia was blamed for harry had a bit of a panic attack demanding that he and Parker weren’t separated again so to assuage him Parker takes him on a holiday in a private suite in the death hotel. But then Storm arrives with this contract he needs harry to sign and it escalates from there so now Merida has three boyfriends who are also dating each other one of which is in intergalactic jail.

There are a multitude of alternate realities that are accessed through a full length mirror in Jaime’s flat. Some have diffoerent circumstances or flipped morality/genders or different outcomes. For example

Different circumstances: Clark crashed into the Wayne’s greenhouses and the shock set off Martha’s labour. Clark married a one Diana prince and had two children. Oliver Kingston Wayne and Barry Allen Wayne. Bruce is the drink uncle who accidentally joined a big brother program and Clark is making damned sure Bruce is honouringthe commitment. Oliver dances at a club to be self sufficient. Barry meanwhile is obsessed with chemistry. Clark stayed home with a sick Alfred that fateful night and has never forgiven himself. So he became superman to make sure something like that never happens to anyone else. Bruce however became a preteen alcoholic. Chardonnay is his drink of choice. Their pool cleaner a mr Arthur curry and their chauffeur is a mr Hal Jordan

Different outcome: Professor farnsworth took over New New York with an army of bending units aided by his insane son Phillip. Leela is Phillips personal slave. An impoverished Amy Wong is his public slave (Leela is a sewer mutant). Carol Walt Larry and Igner are incarcerated for trying to throw a coup

Flipped morality: Snow White, jealous of her fathers affection for his new wife, killed her father and blamed grimhilde for it. She learned dark magic and killed the queen in a mirror storm then took over the kingdom with only seven diamond armoured dwarfs. All when she was fourteen.

Flipped gender: Cendrillon used as servant in his own home until he’s able to go to the ball aided by his fairy godfather. The princess saved him with a glass slipper

You get the idea

The characters relation ships with their parents:

Jaime and Wendy had a major falling out because Wendy kept trying to put her solutions in alignment with Jaime’s problems. Eventually Jaime moved next door into a flat in Mickey and Minnie’s castle. And now Jaime’s the queen. Wendy is 5”10 tawny gold hair almost always in a bun. Blue eyes and always dressed in blue. Mid to late forties. Edward Emerson. Think Henry cavil in prime superman mode greying at the temples in either army fatigues or black denim. One year older than Wendy. Besides George he is the only mortal in the family and being mortal he can use a magic wand (no one quite knows why only mortals can use wands)

Plei’s mother Sarah looks the same as in the film. Now you need to go through trauma for your magic to settle. And Plei’s trauma is seeing his father Leland a gain in god know how long. It does not go well

Kal have a rivalry with Clark because Kal sees Clark as a wimp who is wasting his powers on helping people and Clark thinks Kal is a no good miscreant. Their parents though treat Kal the same way they treat Clark. Doesn’t matter if he’s a close W he’s their son. In return Kal values them and does not hate them like he hates Kal (high praise in deed)

Smee just wants Padraic to be happy and if that means Padraic being in England in an entirely different dimension then so be it.

Elinor got impatient with Merida taking so long to choose a suitor and then Merida decided to try and find a boyfriend from non options (read as she doesn’t love the clans sons). So they had a hard he blow out fight which led to Merida moving in with Jaime and she’s barely looked back since

May doesn’t know Parker is no longer st school and he is not planning on telling her. And besides she’s got Benji

Ariel and Eric know everything and as long as melody isn’t hurt they’re fine with it

Phoebus and Esmeralda are just like Ariel and Eric

Cody’s mother isn’t in the picture anymore

Alice’s parents tried to have her committed so their relationship is next to nonexistent

Henry’s is his parents scapegoat so his brother retains a veneer of so called “perfection”

Timmy’s parents are negligent and let him be babysat by a psychopath who repeatedly tries to kill him. His fairy god parents are crazy but at least they care

Norman put a stipulation in his will that if harry seeks a cure then he will be disinherited. So try to gage their relationship from that

John darling came out as bi and his wife couldn’t handle it so she divorced him and took Ashton and Topher to New York. John remarries Casey mulligan. Casey is actually Jamie’s ex husband (don’t get worried it was some stupid new law that all marriages in England are legal. Including playground marriages. Jaime and Casey’s happenedwhen she was five and he was nine). So they got a quickie divorce. And as it turns out Casey has a son from his ex girlfriend. Casey junior (get it?). So now John is a 42 year old divorcee remarried to a twenty year old with a 10 month old step son and two teenage children. Annalise got remarried to Ashton’s high school crush, his Australian swim coach

Jack’s family died a couple centuries ago so what accounts for his family are the guardians a boy who remembers him less and less every year. Elsa who sees him as who she could have been and Anna who just wants everybody to get along. Then there’s kristoff who just wants peace

Taran still goes to see Dalben henwen fflewder and eilonwy when he can

Felicia’s last words to her father were “piss off” so she desperate to make amends with his ghost

Well you know about the fantastic four.

Jaime has become a children’s advocate. Simple stuff like babysitting and making sure the recess gang isn’t split up. But she isn’t up to date on slang so when a mourning 13 year old Angelica pickles drunk dials her, Jaime has no idea what’s the girls saying. And she takes it upon herself to punish the “evil children” ie DW Reed, 3 year old Angelica Pickles, manny heffley, Francine nebulon the children the make their older siblings lives a living hell.

Simpson’s:

Jaime aged up the child population of Springfield by ten years. Barts twenty Lisa’s eighteen Maggies twelve and so on. She also given them special powers. Bart has super speed Lisa HAD telekinesis (she abused it so she losed it. Painful rhyme I know) Maggie has electrokinesis milhouse can ghost through objects Nelson can put national monuments on his pinky nail. Ralph can bend reality to his will. Sherri can teleport Terri can fly. That sort of thing. Though some have non active powers. Moe can not die no matter how hard he tries. Homer and barney have regenerative livers (so they can be sozzled all the time) Bart has inherited Montys fortune and company

[renaroo]

Wednesday Roundup 28.6.2017

First off, I’m going to pump myself up some because I just read an incredible number of comics within one day or so in order to get this review out on time and for once I actually managed it so hoora for me. Second off, holy crap a lot of my comics came out this week and I was kinda slammed and didn’t really realize it until it was happening and suddenly it was a whole lot of “uh oh” but that’s just me, my ridiculousness, and talking about sheer volume.

The real question here is, how did everything shape up this week? And if everything was good what was the best? And at this point do you all even trust my judgment to say what best is anymore lol 

Guess there’s one way to find out!

DC’s Batman Beyond, Image’s Black Magick, DC’s Detective Comics, IDW’s Ghostbusters 101, Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, DC’s New Super-Man, Kodansha’s Princess Jellyfish, Image’s Saga, IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, IDW’s Transformers: Lost Light, DC’s Wonder Woman

DC’s Batman Beyond (2016-present) #9 Dan Jurgens, Bernard Chang, Marcelo Maiolo

*long sobbing sighs are heard from the south of Alabama*

Okay, look. I have always prided myself on the fact that I’m not one of those comic fans that will buy just anything because my favorite characters showed up for three seconds one time in a splash page. I never consider myself someone who reads comics the way people read newspapers — just casually interested in the newest updates on this fictional world I follow at a distance. I come for the story and the characterizations and if they’re not there I won’t waste time and money. I mean there’s a lot of Dick Grayson comics I’ve flat-out ignored over the years and he’s one of my favorite fictional characters. Period!

But there’s… exceptions I can’t stop myself from.

Cassandra Cain, obviously. I make a point of owning everything with Cass in it. But the other is… I can’t avoid Batman Beyond. There is no part of me that can give up on Terry McGinnis, there’s a child in me who will always think of him first as Batman, who will always owe that cartoon for getting me even remotely interested in comics outside of Spider-Man and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I am a sucker for Terry McGinnis and I can’t help it.

which makes it suck that much more that he’s had basically no good comics featuring him since… 2008? 2009ish? And what’s decent ends up irritating me or making me have to turn against it because of the shit treatment other characters I like get.

Before it was Dick and Barbara I was up in arms for.

Now it’s Damian.

The more they try to retroactively shove the main DCU continuity into the DCAU Batman Beyond universe, the less sense it all makes and the more they have to warp characters we love. This Damian might as well have walked right off the pages of Batman and Son because he apparently has lacked all growth and humanity that Damian has achieved — has earned — in the last several years of comics, preboot and DEFINITELY post-New52 and Rebirth.

So that bears the question of what’s the point.

My “what ifs” from last issue of wondering if Damian is somehow controlled by his spinal implants again, that maybe Ra’s al Ghul took over his body the way DCAU Ra’s had Talia — those that I was fearful of now seem more respectful of his character than what seems to be the answer we have instead.

I have a feeling this conclusion is going to get me raging.

But because I am a sucker, because I am a ridiculous fangirl, I’m going to keep buying the things that hurt me. gdi Batman Beyond, can you be good again

Image’s Black Magick (2015-present) #6 Greg Rucka, Nicola Scott

Okay but like…

Goddamn there’s no comic like a Greg Rucka comic oh my god.

Alright so I’ve always been a fan of Rucka’s creator owned works and I think they’re easily some of his best works which, as a fan, is really saying something on my part, but I have been utterly amazed by how good Black Magick has been and how Rucka just has this incredibly unique way of making every issue feel complete even while it’s part of a longer storyline. Every issue counts and I feel that in this issue almost as pure as I’ve ever felt it before.

Greg Rucka: he just gets comics.

In all seriousness, this interesting take on how magick works and how Rowan’s life specifically has been affected by her introduction to her long lineage’s powers — especially in light of what we know about present day Rowan Black and how she has not lived up to her potential as a witch just yet — comes together so well here. And I say that as someone who doesn’t really like flashbacks all that much in storytelling.

That being said, I’m so glad that this storyline is all in flashback and doesn’t have us whipping back and forth across timelines because I’ve gotten a lot of flashback fatigue from comics and movies lately. This is a nice, solid ground to stand on if we’re going into backstory territory.

DC’s Detective Comics (2016-present) #959 James Tynion IV, Alvaro Martinez, Raul Fernandez, Brad Anderson

Alright, so I’m beginning to question about how the continuity of the various Bat titles are lining up anymore because, as we just went over a week? Two weeks ago? Bruce had just proposed to Selina. But now we’re getting some heavy flirtations with Zatanna here. Now, I’m all for threesomes and I actually multiship Bruce quite a bit and that includes shipping him with both Selina and with Zatanna, but this is kinda… stepping on the toes of whatever King’s doing. Which fine whatever. I’ll be honest, I’ve had a soft spot for longtime friendship and childhood crosshairs between Bruce and Zatanna thanks to how much I still just adore Paul Dini’s run on Detective Comics (1938-2011). So this pleases me almost despite myself.

That being said, there’s still a lot of unevenness in this story at the moment. Even with the cast diminishing through deaths and quitting and whatever, we have a lot of characters factoring in and out of the storylines from one to the next. It feels like we very barely have time to establish what everyone’s relationships are before we start hinting at even more shakeups. Are Jean Paul and Luke’s friendship going to be busted up after only a few issues of contact between them? Is Clayface considering taking up the doctor’s idea of a cure so soon after I still haven’t figured out why he’s even here? Is Tim’s not-death ever going to be brought up again before Bruce does something truly stupid?

And then there’s just that… looming threat of the summer event I just know is going to come up at some point.

There’s a lot of good in this issue, and I don’t want to knock it, it’s actually one of the more decent mid-story issues that Tynion’s produced so far. And I’ve been harping on him for that from the beginning so that’s saying something from me. And I thought the art this issue was actually very consistent and well done overall, even if I have to wonder how many times has everyone in the Batfamily stood in a perfect pose with a Batfan on them for the computer to scan and give a perfectly COOL holographic image of themselves. But that’s me being silly and questioning superhero world logic. A truly terrible road to go down.

A very interesting issue and I’m curious to see how the storyline with Bruce ties into the storyline about Jean Paul’s struggles with his religion and how his past has warped it. Not that… as a Catholic those… struggles ring true… or anything.

Anyway, seal of approval and waiting for the story to continue on!

DC’s Ghostbusters 101 (2017-present) #4 Erik Burnham, Dan Schoening, Luis Antonio Delgado

Alright, so IDW is just kicking ass with their properties this week and I honestly think that there’s nothing better to combat the absolute bile and grossness that was the internet fanboys of the Ghostbusters circles more than seeing just how amazing and interesting Burnham and Schoening have made this team up with all generations of Ghostbusters at once.

Erin and Holtzy definitely take the cake this issue and there’s a lot of fun, especially with how the Ghostbusters of different universes compare equipment, ghosts, and methodologies as they address one thing about the 2016 movie that actually did bother me quite a bit which was that the ladies just kept… dispersing ghosts and not capturing them where all incarnations before had made a point of the “conservation of ghost matter” or whatever before — establishing that ghosts would just reappear en masse if not absorbed and captured. The explanation was actually rather witty and made perfect sense with the narrative of the 2016 movie, actually.

One of my favorite aspects, though, has to be how many in-jokes they manage. Erin’s neuroses and figuring out how the various cameos in their universe fits into the original’s universe, the joke about Caddy Shack, and just so much more.

It was a really fun issue and I hope people are picking this up and giving it a chance, especially if you enjoyed the 2016 movie, and especially especially if you didn’t but are willing to see the potential that team had all along.

Marvel’s Moon Girls and Devil Dinosaurs (2015-present) #20 Brandon Montclare, Natacha Bustos, Tamra Bonvillian

It’s amazing that Marvel is ruining properties by turning them into evil Nazi stand-ins and warping everything good to come out of Marvel’s initial inception while, in the meantime, they have such good and pure creators making a story like Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur who give us fantastic all-age stories with beautiful art, a lovable and flawed main heroine, and an honestly rather mature and disquieting storyline.

A kids comic where she learns she can’t save everyone. And it’s still poignant and beautiful. It’s still powerful and speaks on a child’s level.

But it sets up for the first time that Lunella, wonderful and smart and brave as she might be, is imperfect. She can’t save the world (or, in this case, the moon) by herself and she can’t always appreciate people’s feelings and their deserving of her empathy until she works on it. She’s been trying so hard to prove herself and show how good she is at everything, she’s allowed herself to stop thinking of everyone as her equal.

So much so that her replacement with an unfeeling robot only gets mild suspicions from her friends at school.

who hilariously know about Lunella’s super identity and her powers because fourth graders can’t keep secrets and i love that.

It’s just such a good story and it’s remarkable that we live in a time where Lunella Lafayette gets to be kids’ introduction to comic books.

DC’s New Super-Man (2016-present) Vol. 1: Made in China Gene Luen Yang, Viktor Bogdanovic, Richard Friend

Kong Kenan is the New Super-Man of China and he could not be more of a change from the status quo of the American superhero archetype of Superman if he tried! Now, that’s not completely fair, obviously there’s quite a bit of convention bending to the genre in this story right from the start, but honestly it felt from the start like a very honest look at just what superheroes would mean for the world outside of America once the Justice League appeared and changed everything. And why wouldn’t other countries be scrambling to make sure that they could compete with not just the rising threat of super villains, but with the potential firepower that would be superheroes representing and being beholden to other countries.

DC and Marvel both have made varying attempts to answer those questions themselves over the years, and Kenan doesn’t serve as the first Chinese superhero in the DCU, but this is definitely the first time I as a reader felt like I was reading an experience and perspective outside of my own. Usually there’s a lens or veneer to these attempts to expand superheroes outside of the US that’s pretty transparent — they’re either very rarely seen or explored and so lend themselves to vague understandings of other cultures (such as The Great Ten in the preboot) or they’re Americanized in some way, usually by having them join a team of characters that are from the American perspective (Bushido from Super Friends) or having them come to move to America and have the whole experience of being an immigrant or student work visa (Ryan Choi’s The Atom).

For me, it felt like New Super-Man is taking the very notable effort of examining a purely Chinese character and setting from that perspective and building off of the uniqueness inherently built in that, but also showing how Chinese people’s views of the West and of American superheroes would reflect in their own attempts to make a superhero for themselves. And why Kenan, while initially seeming to be unfit to be a Super-Man given a history of being rather haphazard and a bully, could actually bridge that gap and provide a really interesting story of learning what being a superhero means for a culture so different from America’s own.

At least, that’s my take on it. While I’m happy to boast about the fact that I’m from a family of immigrants in America myself, I’m still a product of the West and Europe, and I’m reading the New Super-Man with that perspective, and assumedly a lot of other readers are, too. So it’s hard for me to tell how accurate my takeaway is here.

I’m only fleetingly familiar with previous works by Gene Luen Yang, but I have to give him major props here. I’m more familiar with his work with the Avatar: The Last Airbender comics than I am with his more acclaimed work (American Born Chinese and Boxers & Saints) which I desperately need to fix, but I have no doubt in his abilities to portray characters which are good but fundamentally flawed. That was a trademark of his works that I have read, and he really brings that to life in New Super-Man with Kenan. He is a very flawed, very human character that relates to readers based on personality before the differences between America and China can even be brought up in the narrative. And that’s what really made this a fantastic read by the end.

I’m very interested to see where this story continues with Vol. 2 and hope that the reader base for this story grows along with Kenan’s character.

After all, right now the world could use a Flawed But Good Super-Man almost as much as it could use a Chinese Super-Man.

Kodansha’s Princess Jellyfish (2008-present) Chapter 82 Akiko Higashimura

I believe that it’s pretty obvious, the further we go along with my comics reading and these reviews, that I had a pretty large variety of comic tastes. And really that just has to be indicative of my feelings about narratives in general. There’s a lot of things I appreciate about media’s ability to tell stories, and good stories and good characters, for me, almost always trump genres at the end of the day.

And I have loved Princess Jellyfish since the 12 episode anime adaptation of the first arc aired back when I was in college and @red-dye-number-five and I squealingly watched it as it came out.

The series is very soothing for me to read and this chapter was no different in that way. I have no interest in fashion, but the story of this found-family of adult women blundering their way through the world of fashion to save their community and home speaks to me. I really hate love triangles, but the complexities of the relationships between Tuskimi, Shu, and Kuronosuke has made for some of the most interesting and fascinating dynamics I’ve seen in a romance drama. And while I don’t usually go for coming-out stories anymore, the difficulties and self doubt and guilt we see with Kuronosuke over and over again as he tries to find his personal comfort with his gender and sexuality is honestly heart wrenching and I’m fully invested with.

I enjoy this series so much and as usual we have another chapter that fully delivers on its continued promises. This isn’t a perfect series, but for me it is a bit of chicken soup in the middle of the difficulties of life.

Image’s Saga (2011-present) #44 Brian K. Vaughan, Fiona Staples

I think in twenty, thirty years, we’re going to look back and find that the generation of comics that have come about in the 2010s have changed the medium to a diverse haven of storytelling that comics hasn’t honestly enjoyed since the Comics Code and so on. And thank god for it because we get to read Saga as it’s being published and experience it as the true game changer that it is.

We are experiencing a storyline, from the perspective of a woman, who has to undergo a medical abortion, is being sent on a trial of Jobe for it because of the regressive tendencies and behaviors of her own people, and getting to see how much that burden is adding onto her own torment. We rarely get stories about abortion let alone ones where it’s from the woman’s prospective, is pro-abortion but also honest about its difficulties, and clearly shows avid anti-abortion rhetoric and laws as being crippling and more hurtful to those going through the ordeal than helpful.

It is… unfortunately very relevant to our times.

As is all of Saga’s storytelling. People see the nudity and violence and sex and gore every issue and what I love about Saga is that those things are so average, so unremarkable, that the actual mature content like addiction, prejudice, racism, homophobia, transphobia, infidelity, parenthood, and everything else in between is given the gravitas and exceptionalism it deserves outside of the seedy details that too often help the important points get lost in other lotted “mature” content.

In other words, there’s so much peeing on beds that we don’t lose track of the intrigue of money laundering and collusion as the real stories.

IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011-present) #71 Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Dave Wachter, Ronda Pattison

There’s not a whole lot to say about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles usually because, as with the best comics with the most consistent quality, they just are great and just should be read and there’s hardly much else I can say about why if you haven’t been sold on it already. It’s like me trying to explain to people why they should read Usagi Yojimbo. If you’re not reading it already I don’t know what I can say to make it understandable how much you need to read it.

That being said, this is a slow issue compared to TMNT’s usual action packed fare. And I think that’s for good reason. We need buffer time between stories, this is part one of a two-parter which provides just that, and it spends its entire time building on the lore and mythology of the world of TMNT as it has been realized by IDW. And it’s fascinating and complex and meaningful.

And of course as a mythology junkie I adored every second of it — learning about the Pantheon and the gods of this universe was fascinating and knowing how various previous canons of TMNT are being incorporated to provide it is amazing (I especially love Jagwar’s new self I’m in love). It was fascinating, as has been the amount of love Eastman and Waltz have shown TMNT overall.

It’s a good comic, a slow comic, but good. And I really enjoyed the read. Definitely something different added to today’s pretty sizable pot.

IDW’s Transformers: Lost Light (2016-present) #7 James Roberts, John Wycough, Jack Lawrence, Joana Lafuente

You know that vin diagram that’s things that are okay and then this over waaaaayyyyyy on the outside? Okay. Good. Because that’s what this issue is for me. Holy shit. My emotions have been played like a fiddle and I am sick and engrossed and devastated and uplifted and there are things that I cannot say or do or what. WHAT.

Okay so I wasn’t entirely sold on this recent storyline opening up the Lost Light, if I’m completely honest. I share a lot of the concerns I’ve seen other fans show with regards to just how much retconning of a pretty unforgivable past Megatron has been shown to have in canon prior to 2011 and how he’s being handled now. And this storyline in a lot of ways was both a redirection to what Transformers should always be about — the fighting of fascism — but also felt like we were going a step too far into the department of “see! Megatron wasn’t the REAL evil fascist, here’s what cartoonishly evil fascists REALLY look like” so as much as I enjoyed this story and as much as I really admire James Roberts’ writing in general, I was on the fence about what to feel about everything that had gone down.

Which made the fact that he took the time to dedicate an entire issue to the aftermath, gauging all the different reactions to the plots that had emerged, giving me a new lesbian couple and bypassing the gross route of having one remember and the other not, and then hammering in the Cygate romance to a conclusion I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT OR NEED BUT AM TOTALLY INVESTED IN…. it’s not just cathartic. For the first time I genuinely feel like the sharpness, wit, depth of character, and real solid execution is back to the standards of what I still consider to be my favorite work of JRo’s which was MTMTE Season 1.

This was just… so much to take in, and so fast, and I swear not an inch of panel was wasted. I’m hoping that this means the pace is picked back up, the course is put back on track, and we return to what was making the characters so fantastic and loving and… oh yeah

TOTAL FRIDGE HORROR FOR THOSE OF US WITH CLAUSTROPHOBIA

I really liked this issue. It’s definitely my favorite of Lost Light so far and has me looking super forward to what happens next. Which is something I desperately needed since I learned Till All Are One, which has honestly been my favorite TF comic for the past year, is ending soon.

DC’s Wonder Woman (2016-present) #25 Greg Rucka, Bilquis Evely, Liam Sharp, Romulo Fajardo Jr.

I have been curious since the announcement of Rucka’s departure from the title just how he was going to pull together his past and present storylines, how things were going to end up. And I have been met with the answers which are large, satisfying, and a bit saddening in knowing that we’re quickly approaching the end.

The idea that, without the lasso, something is simply missing from Diana and her life feels like a great commentary on Wonder Woman herself, and what not only embracing her history and iconography means for the character but what it means for her personality itself. Without the lasso, without her faith, without the support of the Amazons at her back, Diana is shorter with her temper, more quick to anger, more brutal. And it’s not her, it the her that people have tried for decades to turn her into to suit their interpretation of what a Wonder Woman should be. And it’s concerning to the people who love her — here exemplified in Steve, Etta, Bruce, and Clark — and unhelpful to the enemies who require her sense of compassion and understanding, which is what nearly all of Diana’s enemies have been constructed to show — here Cheetah and Veronica Cale.

She’s simply not Wonder Woman without those things, and it’s such a relief to have a modern writer with the caliber of Greg Rucka portraying that in a deft and almost poetic way as it has been in this title and especially in this wrap up issue. It makes me happy to have the character of Wonder Woman brought back to herself on the terms of someone who has as much love and respect for her as Rucka does.

It was a good issue, and while I will be the first to say that this run hasn’t been perfect and that Rucka’s shown some genuine problems in his writing through it, I am sad to see it all coming toward its end.

So if I had to sum up this week’s comics as a whole I would just say that I was smacked with a whole lot of emotions all across the spectrum. But as I consider it tonight and really think about what has stuck with me the most in the aftermath of getting through them all, I really can’t understate how much Transformers: Lost Light threw me through about twenty different loops -- I mean the subplot of Cyclonus and Tailgate’s romance alone would earn that spot of just WOW but literally every character, every development, every scene blew me away this week and it really uplifted me to enjoy the read as much as I did again. 

But that’s just my opinion. What are your thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Think I missed something this week I should’ve picked up? I’d love to hear from you on it.

Until then, here’s to another Wednesday full of comics!