#gratuitous self portraits

[mangled-by-disuse]

reference photo for comparison:

I think I need to work on getting better contrast with this kind of limited palette - obviously it's, well, limited, but I think I can do better.

trying some limited palette self-portraits again and remembering why i don't do self-portraits

[artemisia-black]

Do you think Walburga and Orion physically tortured Sirius or reg when they're being rebellious?

No I quite emphatically don't (will discuss below the cut with a TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF ABUSE).

1.0 Emotional abuse is devasting

There was clearly emotional abuse and neglect, the gravity of which can often be lost in depictions of gratuitous physical violence. In some fandom spaces, there appears to be a perceived hierarchy of abuse, wherein emotional maltreatment is often regarded as less severe or less compelling to portray. In the case of the Blacks, there was undeniable emotional abuse and neglect. The significance of this type of abuse can frequently be overshadowed in narratives that focus more on explicit physical violence, potentially diminishing the recognition of the profound impact emotional trauma can have.

Walburga's portrait denounces Sirius as the "Shame of her flesh," and Kreacher incessantly proclaims that he is unworthy to "wipe slime from Walburga's boots." Furthermore, the indifference displayed towards permitting a penniless, underage child to leave the home is striking. These instances provide indisputable evidence of emotional neglect and abuse. Additionally, Sirius's almost tentative proposition to Harry regarding living together, coupled with his near disbelief upon receiving an affirmative response, indicates his struggle to believe that he is indeed loved. This vulnerability, evident in his shyness and the slight fumbling of his words, contrasts sharply with his overtly murderous demeanour in the preceding scene.

In my WiP Pietas, I explore how constant criticism makes Sirius feel profoundly lonely, yet he never calls it abuse. This aspect of the narrative underscores the significant internal gaslighting that often accompanies emotional abuse. Victims may internalise the constant belittlement and devaluation to the extent that they question their own feelings and perceptions, doubting the validity of their experiences.

At his words, a sense of kinship stirred in Sirius’s heart and an odd sensation began to build in his stomach. Thoughts of confessing his frustrations and his inner turmoil rose to the surface, like drowning men clamouring for desperate gasps of air. But before he could form a sentence, Leone carried on speaking.

‘But while you are a guest in my house, I ask that as a gentleman, you prioritise my sister’s honour above all else. She is very dear to me, and I do not wish to force her into a marriage.’

He had halted once more, looking over at the girl still seated on the bench with an undisguised fondness that made Sirius ache with a profound sense of loneliness. He could not remember the last time any member of his immediate family had looked at him with anything but anger or dissatisfaction and to his embarrassment, his eyes began to sting.

2.0 The Cruciatus tus as a disciplinary tool is like swatting a fly with a nuke

In canon, the Cruciatus curse comes with a life sentence in Azkaban and is an actual means of torture (not the equivalent of a punch- which is bad enough).

"He had been hit again by the Cruciatus Curse. The pain was so intense, so all-consuming, that he no longer knew where he was. ... White-hot knives were piercing every inch of his skin, his head was surely going to burst with pain, he was screaming more loudly than he’d ever screamed in his life — And then it stopped." GoF

“Pain,” said Moody softly. “You don’t need thumbscrews or knives to torture someone if you can perform the Cruciatus Curse. GoF

It seems highly unlikely that this curse, notorious for leaving the Longbottoms in need of long-term care, would be employed for disciplinary purposes. Moreover, given the Blacks' self-perception of near-royalty, it seems implausible that they would willingly subject their offspring to such torment, risking permanent harm to their lineage.

[tozettastone]

When I posted Deadbeat someone in the comments said they had reservations about SI/OC fics because they were uncomfortable with how such characters might be imbued with traits of the writer and it was a distraction to always be wondering if XYZ trait was actually how the author really was, and, "Like, is the stuff about liking vulnerable men true?"

It's not bad to feel like this. I'm not offended to hear it. And at the time I told that person that, y'know, perhaps the SI/OC genre as a whole was maybe not for them in that case (a sentiment with which I still agree). But now I'm writing this current fic and, okay, three things:

I think all characters adopt some elements of their writers, even canon ones, and you're just kinda stuck with that as a reader

The stuff about Maddie liking vulnerable men in Deadbeat is more intended as an expression of her problems with trust and control boiling over into yet another part of her life honestly. This personality has been with her through the cycle of death and rebirth LOL.

The part in the new fic where Maddie gets seasick in 0.25 seconds and vomits twice in a 30 minute boat ride, though. That part is the first part that's really 100% just frivolously projecting. Gratuitous self portrait of the author, hanging their head over the railing of a boat and sobbing into the spray. 🙏

[wallbeatjournal]

JIMIN MENTION. Riverdale characters as BTS members

unfortunately i did workshop this with the army gc and i think i have a proposal. it doesn't totally work because of gender dynamics and the way the universes of corporate-competitive art performance and riverdale aren't really quite aligned, but i think i got somewhere.

RIVERDALE MAINS AS BTS MEMBERS:

jughead = rm / kim namjoon. iconoclast. the lyricist-narrator of the whole deal. the link to the big corporate-bureaucratic metaplot in the sky. a typewriter kind of guy. there are so so so many of him and sometimes they interact. queerbait-complicit and yet sidestepping it.

reggie = jin / kim seokjin. the negotiator. the big-city boyfriend from the hallmark movie. the nation's son-in-law but DID flirt with your grandmother and your dad at the function. fed that mean old man from his bare hand. schemes and scams, less opportunistically than as a vocational calling. second place to karl marx and knows it.

betty = suga / min yoongi. she's resisting her idol image with her gratuitously-edgy secondary persona but she's still your poor little meow meow, your baby. she's alert! she's fractured! her amygdala is working sooo hard. her shadow grows and grows and she's avoiding it she's looking at it she's avoiding it she's looking. don't say tangerine.

veronica = j-hope / jung hoseok. idk it's about perfectionism. it's about how CRYING 👏 DOES 👏 NOT 👏 FIT 👏 WITH 👏 HER 👏 LIFE'S 👏 VIBE. it's about lean-in girlbossism. it's about success not creating psychological safety (but she wants more anyway bc what else is she here to do). she's nice but she's ruthless but she loves you!! and on several tragic levels iykyk: she da bus driver all of a sudden.

kevin = jimin. compulsive joiner. compulsive people-pleaser. compulsive flirt. compulsive. mapplethorpe fanboy. gender outlaw. a smoke-show, now. most likely to charm a late night talk show host. queerbaiter of the cruising-coded-crowd-scene variety. most likely to put it all on the line for a little cabaret ♥

cheryl = v / kim taehyung. questionable art appreciator. questionable painter. questionable self portrait accumulator. high-aesthetic curator of Scenes and Situations. president of gay fanservice (self-appointed). glamorous alien OR reclusive little freak. if the high-aesthetic, melodramatic-literary closet case lament fits.

archie = jungkook. golden boy all-rounder. beefcake-on-display. designated himbo. Wants To Help. will NOT contribute to a conversation so don't even try. gives kind of a sincere wounded baby animal quality at times. queerbait via lore-relevant chime card sponcon (this isn't jarchie but it does make you ask yourself "is charlie puth sort of jugheadcore, if jughead sucked (derogatory) instead of sucking (complimentary)?")

[nimbus-bugs]

Nim Sketch Dump

as promised, here's a big sketch dump of my sona/oc nim! this isn't gonna be a popular post and I don't care 👍

I didn't originally intend to post these so I've referenced some art works heavily but I've written the name of the artist and I'll type it out too! if any of the artists see my references and is uncomfortable with it please let me know and I'll remove it from this post :D

dump under the cut!

the first ideas for his "modern design" (he's been around and recycled for a loooong time). the pose in the top right hand corner is taken from @/hiraethminds! they are a very cool artist and inspire me a lot. though the grey-ish tones as the major colour goes away I still really like the centipede tattoo, centipedes are rad as fuck and you can't tell me otherwise

I started to play with the idea of a goat design for him here! which is strange because like. that's not even his main design or motif or anything, I just really liked the idea I guess LMAO also Aurelai belongs to my mate of the same name! she's not on tumblr (yet) but you should still like her because she's cool and awesome

a treat for my qsmp enjoyers!! an unfinished short comic I sketched on the day tallulah lost her first life. the other characters in this are my old ocs, don't even worry about them

I straight up just have the image that inspired me in this one. its by @/sss-eriema and it was a gift from GOD. I was trying to sort out the colours and wanted to incorporate both orange (my favourite colour) and green (my close second favourite colour) but wasn't having much luck. eriema's artwork showed me that it can work in a more muted way and it was very very helpful!!

maid dress. sorry. also slimecicle

I started to get the colours down in the bottom right corner!! I really like this sketch page honestly. some bonus self portrait sketches because I wanted to try and put some more of my own features into his design as my sona! also in the notes I was debating between the two eye shapes and I'm still thinking about it. I think the bottom ones fit his personality more and are way more expressive but I just like the Vibe of the top ones

a lot of little drawings with varying styles! also more slimecicle. I am adhding so hard for him right now, it's concerning.

t. this one is the reason for the blood tw in the tags. I just really like drawing blood. as a treat. don't come for me this is my self-indulgent safe space leT ME BE EDGY </3 also the writing is a little hard to read so I've put it in the alt! and more qsmp doodles!

I'm starting to ditch the goat design but this one is my last hurrah. basically settled on the general colour scheme now! and more qsmp stuff. its literally gripped my brain I can't escape it, even in my personal work

then I realised. nimbus-BUGS. bugs! what if bug? this was a really fun study for using more creature features that I wasn't used to! loving the mandibles tbh

my most recent sketch as of posting! I might update this later, but this sketch page is probably the most gratuitously referenced, the expressions in the bottom left and top right were basically ripped from @/microwavablesquid so if you like those please check them out! the basic design structure of the full body was referenced from @/aresonist, retroactively I realised a lot of my design choices. uh. they also made LMAOOO so if my design in General tickles your brain, follow them!

as for his lore and basic information for what he actually Is, uhhh. ??? I don't know HAHAHA he's a little guy! he's creature! is he human? probably not but no one could say for sure! is he bugs? is he 1000 bugs in a trenchcoat? sometimes he's goat I guess??? I can never decide on a design and I think that aids his cryptid-like habits. he shows up sometimes, vibes and can't die in a way that matters! he has a running motif of my fake-God-thing, the centipede ouroboros, so I was like "what if he was a harbinger of the ouroboros, what then." and I like to imagine he has video game logic where when he dies, he basically respawns. also weirdly it's worked out in a way where he has lots of biblical motifs, like my name is literally nimbus, like the halo, and he's a messenger of a god like some fucked up blorbo angel. also lily of the valley is my favourite flower and I like drawing him with it, it also has lots of symbolism in the bible?? wild.

I sincerely doubt it but if you guys have any questions about nim or want to draw him or anything I would Die. I would just keel over. you'd take me out.

thank you so much if you got to the end of this btw!! this was a lot. seriously though, it means the world if even one person would like to see my little guy <3 have a great day and take care of yourself!

[grandhotelabyss]

Whether yours or something you've read, what's the best definition of art/a work of art?

If definitions come in descriptive and normative forms—descriptive: finding the essence of all the disparate phenomena we do or could call art; normative: deciding what unites the limited set of phenomena that deserve the name of art—then I believe a descriptive definition may be impossible.

Art could be almost any practice or object, because any practice can be done and any object made artfully. Whole lives have been described as works of art, as have casual gestures of the hand. Art may just refer to some latent potential for shaped gratuitous interest (i.e., beauty) in the whole human-made world—except that some believe animals capable too, as the birds and the whales do sing, while monkeys and elephants have been taught to paint. Art may just be life transcending itself, reflecting itself, working on itself: the final secret of whatever is the principle of vitality, "the force that through the green fuse drives the flower." "The art itself is nature."

All very psychedelic, but we like to make judgments, too, and even need to do so, because we have only so many hours in the day, only so much room in the gallery, only so many weeks on the syllabus. We need, therefore, a normative definition. Most of the modern ones since Kant have fixed on art as "uselessness," which partially inspired my word "gratuitous" above, i.e., art is whatever is not practical, whatever exceeds and therefore both redeems and judges the prevailing utilitarianism of the modern world. As Gautier's original l'art pour l'art manifesto quips, elevating art over use, "The most useful room in the house is the lavatory."

Contemporary theorist Boris Groys has historicized this idea with his slogan "art emerges as the death of design." In other words, before the modern period, art was reduced to its use, largely as propaganda: it ornamented and inculcated the ideas of the ruling classes, from the bard celebrating aristocratic heroes in epic song to the builder fashioning cathedrals to cow the illiterate parishioner on behalf of the Catholic Church to the painter making portrait after portrait of the old regime's elite. Art, therefore, was no more than design, a constrained set of protocols for elaborating and augmenting social power. Art in the modern sense of the gloriously inutile was only invented with the French Revolution, when the radicals, instead of destroying the design of the old regime—throwing the portraits on a bonfire; smashing the altarpieces with a hammer—put them into museums, to be admired for their beauty (complexity, intricacy, intelligence...in short, for their "gratuitous" humanity) now that their inequitable social function had been stripped from them. Art, then, is whatever's left over after the propagandistic element of a piece of design has drained away, which is why we still take pleasure, for example, in Dante, though we don't share his views—and I don't just mean his social attitudes (homophobic, Islamophobic, etc.), but even his understanding of biology or cosmology.

I am persuaded by Groys's historicized normative judgment that art is the death of design, though it does create a paradoxical choice for the modern artist: you can either make a work of design, i.e., propaganda, in the knowledge that only what exceeds its propaganda function will finally matter, or you can try to make a work that has no propaganda function at all. The first choice leads to the slight air of bad faith that always hangs around even the very best social and political art, the double sense that an urgent problem is being exploited and that art itself is being betrayed; while the second choice leads to the purity spiral of art without content, all those blank canvasses and boxes piled on the floor that, as someone once joked, must come pre-installed in the modern art museum.

There is no solution to this dilemma, no way out of this paradox. (Groys: "only self-contradictory practices are true in a deeper sense of the word.") As the French Revolution and surrounding developments made it possible for art to emerge as the death of design, so I expect present and future historical or technological circumstances to alter the terms of art once again. We will just have to see what opportunities and challenges arise. Groys believes we currently live in a period of total aestheticization, due in part to technology's total replacement of nature, and that this total aestheticization makes art totally revolutionary since no regime or status quo can stabilize itself with its being instantly relegated to a state of defunctionalized design under our aesthetic gaze—another way of explaining why irony is now all-pervasive and inescapable, since every value now exists under the sign of its own inherent potential to become just one more piece in the museum.

Finally, though, and to escape whatever is deadening in Groys's admittedly persuasive celebration of art's apocalyptic triumph as absolute irony, I come back to older ideas, even at the risk of what a sophisticate like Groys would see as romantic kitsch, to Socrates instructing the ephebe that poetry can only be divine madness, to Emerson lecturing the practical 19th-century that the poet travels in divine realms, above all to The Birth of Tragedy and the vision of art elaborated there: art, said our mad philosopher back when he was a mild academic, is the articulation in a still and ordered image of the tearing, ferocious, violent flux at the heart of life: Apollo's temporary arrest of Dionysius. Art can be anything, and is now everything, but art that does not aspire to this impossibility—art that does not wrestle with this awful angel—does not deserve the name.

[the-overboss]

Meet the Overboss

22 years old :: He/Him or They/Them :: 18+ Only

Just your average overly sex-positive, kink-positive, Fallout blogger. I started this blog to have a way to interact with the Fallout fandom --- especially the Fallout 4 fandom --- in a way that wasn't just my Discord server.

As stated above, I'm 22 years old! I'd like to keep this blog minor-free, both because of how NSFW the things I post about are / will be, and because I have zero interest in talking to anyone that isn't an adult.

I have an Archive of Our Own where I write stuff! Check it out here: Chosen of Atom.

I have a very heavily modded Fallout 4, as seen in the above image, so expect any screenshots I upload to feature gratuitous masculinity more reminiscent of a Tom of Finland portrait than of the 1950s aesthetic the franchise is based on.

Here's some fast facts about me:

In the base game, I tend to side with the Institute or with the Brotherhood of Steel the most. No offense to the Minutemen, or the Railroad, but they just don't strike my interest as much: it doesn't help that I find the Railroad to be all-too-incompetently-led thanks to Desdemona, and I dislike Deacon because of his constant lying.

When accounting for the DLC, I tend to side with the Nuka-World Raiders the most. I really wish there was a mod that let you complete the base game with them, à la America Rising 2 with the Enclave. I tend to keep the Operators and the Pack around, while discarding the Disciples: though I'd really like to be able to keep all three of them around.

My original characters are all self-inserts of me. My main one is Overboss Diego, the leader of Nuka-World. He's the Chosen of Atom, and has been gifted with various abilities thanks to his divine patronage: namely radiation manipulation, including radiation vulnerability manipulation, mind control, and lust control. Unlike in the game, he did manage to keep all three Nuka-World gangs around, and while he still has Nuka-World be built on slavery, he actually struck a deal with the Commonwealth's factions: he only enslaves convicted criminals and raiders that the Commonwealth sends to him. He does this, not just to keep Nuka-World in the 'good graces' of factions by entrenching them in politics, but also to make sure he can build up a force of the 'undesirables' of the Commonwealth. There's a lot more that goes into it, so you can read his sheet HERE.

By day I'm a student, currently finishing up my bachelor's before starting my master's in applied sociology this fall (2024).

Please block me if you're a minor, have trouble separating fiction from reality (do NOT take this as me coming out as a proshipper, I'm not), or you just aren't comfortable seeing what I post around. It's okay, no hard feelings!

Yes, I do worship Atom. Yes, I'm a pop culture pagan. No, I don't advocate doing anything dangerous with radioactive materials.

Speaking of the things I post, you will never find children or children-appearing characters in any works I feature. To me, children do not exist in Fallout: my interest lays very strongly in the adult men and women of Fallout. I may have slavery, mind control, and dub-con feature very heavily in my works, but far be it from me to include anything that isn't 18, or that doesn't pass the Harkness Test. This is also why I don't consider myself a proshipper: while I am much more keen on displaying morally objectionable things in my works (slavery, mind-break / brainwashing, manipulation, dub-con [arguably, some of my works fall into non-con? But I don't explicitly see myself as writing that]), I do believe that not everything needs to be shown --- much less glorified or romanticized --- in fiction.

Besides Fallout, my major interests are Overwatch, Wizard101, and Guild Wars 2. I have only ever really played Fallout 4, and while I did try to get into New Vegas, it just didn't appeal to me.

Thanks for reading all of this!

[modernwizard]

Why I love the Spymaster #100: His art collection!

Find my full series under the HELP I WUVS HIM tag.

#100: His art collection!

Note: I'm not making a big deal about #100 because I recently discovered that I made two separate entries in this list about the Spymaster's hair [#9 and #40], so I don't feel that my official 100th reason occurs till #101.

In The Power of the Doctor, the Spymaster, for no greater reason than because he can, inserts himself into classic paintings of Western art. He takes the place of the woman in both the Mona Lisa and Girl with a Pearl Earring, suggesting that he has a rather queer approach to gender [#61: Playing even more with gender!]. His use of The Scream as a self-portrait neatly encapsulates his mental turmoil [#79].

I have another theory about his gratuitous improvement vandalism of these paintings. Most of these works are iconic and easily recognizable to many people in Western culture. Even if we don't know the artists or the proper titles, these images and references to them appear broadly. They're generally admired for their beauty, praised for their mastery, and hailed for their power. Their influence on people is the kind of seemingly ubiquitous influence that the Spymaster craves. The fame and veneration that they command are qualities that he too wishes to possess.

Finally, these paintings are considered classics of Western art history. The Spymaster, as we know, is obsessed with reliving his supposedly glorious past [#81: His retrospection!]. He puts himself in as the subject of these paintings because he thinks that being in famous paintings will make him a person of consequence, someone worthy of note [by the Doctor].

@natalunasans@rowanthestrange @whovianuncle @timeladyjamie @sclfmastery

[herbluegoat]

she cites Kill Bill (2003), where "the Bride" (Uma Thurman) seeks payback against a band of assassins after she becomes their target, in the process apparently killing her unborn child, as an example. "This feminises the violence as it aligns with stereotyped notions of female purity, emotionalism and ties to child rearing. [Characters'] violent vengeance is deemed appropriate or acceptable because of the level of violence that precipitated their actions," she says.

I need to make a point that my film is not about that.

Elsewhere, female violence on screen is depicted as a means of dispelling still-entrenched notions around women's fragility and weakness by portraying them as anything but.

It was often an excuse to marry gratuitous nudity with graphic violence, seen through what feminist theorists have termed the "male gaze" – the perspective of heterosexual men.

the protagonist's clothes have been torn so as to nearly entirely expose her body, to find evidence of how female ferocity has been shaped to suit the tastes of certain male audiences.

In her landmark book, The Monstrous-Feminine (1993), Barbara Creed explored how female bodies had been tied to horror and disgust. "Horrors about women play with false cultural associations of women with bodies (and nature) and men with minds (and culture) that go back a very long way," Erin Harrington

"States such as birth and menstruation remind us that our bodies aren't these perfectly closed and self-contained things that we can transcend through thought – not that male or masculine bodies are 'clean' or 'closed off' either – but fear mixes with fascination. Some writers have argued persuasively that this may come from our own inability to comprehend being born, and coming from someone else's body."

Women push humans out. We know violence even deeper, internally.

From the "final girl" to the female monster, cinematic trends over time have reinforced the idea that the violent women is an individual outlier, an exception to the rule of female non-violence, in contrast to the pervasiveness of male violence on screen.

dig deep into such characters' psyches, exploring their relentlessness in pursuing their ambitions and pushing beyond Hollywood's sometimes superficial fascination with violent women.

to convey how the figure of the violent woman isn't necessarily just one atypical, exceptional individual, showing instead how women more widely are capable of highly complex, flawed and brutal behaviour.

"These new series and films are interesting because they explore a range of female violence, often in combination with a nuanced portrait of female group dynamics, something we rarely see," says Coulthard. "These female characters are complex and their violence is part of this complexity. That's what draws the audiences and directors – not the violence, specifically, but the emotional, psychological and character range that these series offer."

[sitederencontregratuit]

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[bloodlive]

L E G I O N

[ditchdead]

[caelpictor]

Social Distancing Self-Portrait w/ ballpoint

[thatdanishchick]

yes........finally.......i can live freely as the pre-raphaelite painting i was always meant to be..................

[crimsyn]

The photoshoot pictures from NFC2017 was put up a little while ago!

It was my first furry con and my first wearing of Ruvik in public! It was so much fun and I look forward to going to several more furry cons in the future. Gonna try my hand at making my own suit too, wish me luck!

[mhaikkun]

you are my favorite everything been telling you that since 2015