#granted on some level it’s understandable

[inksandpensblog]

#(hence. THIS is why there's such an awful disproportion of votes in the avg polls. where we have to vote for a character that is more pplar)#(the character that was a symbol of some people's childhoods & a minor character that they might've seen once or twice)

Not to change the topic, but is this about Corndog Guy getting voted second-most popular in all the series?

the avm fandom feels massive and tiny at the same time. alan has double the number of youtube subscribers and total video views as, like, jaidenanimations, but i feel like if i put 30 people in a room and asked which youtuber theyve heard of, people would know jaiden but nobody would know what avm is. i looked up "alan becker wallpaper" on google images, scrolled once with my mouse, and saw art made by my ex 3 years ago that got like 200 likes on instagram

[catofoldstones]

we already have people bitching about how “i can’t stand Chani, she’s so annoying 🙄” and “Paul chose Chani to be the mother of his children, Irulan is just at the sidelines eating dust as she should”, like brothers we cannot do this again. We can’t Chani v Irulan our way out of this one because the problem is Paul and the Empire. Gosh, we truly are never getting out of the patriarchy.

[vaguely-concerned]

the relationship between the chantry and the mortalitasi in nevarra is SO fucking funny. the carefully politic and civil syncretism of it all. the ‘I’ll refrain from scratching your back to bloody shreds if you refrain from scratching mine :)’. left hand politely averting its eyes from whatever the fuck the right hand is doing merrily up to its elbow in entrails because it usually knows what it’s doing I guess. speak softly, and have an army of the restless dead ready to go banapants horrorshow bonkers if you don’t get to tend to them. We Receive: being able to keep doing our goth thing mostly unimpeded. You receive: us not raising the great majority to protest your unwelcome meddling. render unto the chantry what is the chantry's and unto the watchers what is theirs (or, with all possible courtesy you understand, else…)

[thepavementsings-archive]

Everyone who speaks to or does stuff with Pierre always immediately talks about how open and willing to participate fully he is in whatever they're doing. I just think the fact that he walks into all of these situations with a true joy and appreciation for all the opportunities f1 brings him to enrich his own life is so lovely and refreshing he's so important to me actually

[dayxero]

Alright.... I gotta get this off my chest here because I've been pondering this for a while. A small fraction of a MUCH greater rant but... fucking hell am I addicted to @aychama's art. Like on a oddly surreal level. I absolutely adore the portrayal of these two together and the tension and atmosphere always gets me more giddy than a japanese school girl!

However... this comes with one major issue I personally have and know its 100% opinionated and biased. Ain't trying to hurt anyone's feelings but if anyone wants to disagree with or block me if you follow this stupid, idiotic tirade of mine, feel free. I understand and take full responsibility for what I'm about to say...

Ok here goes; aychama has done such an amazing job selling me on the fact that these two are damaged souls, seeking love, understanding and connection, that I get the feeling once The Betrayal occurs, I won't be satisfied in the slightest. It goes back to how in all honesty, I am annoyed with how the majority of the fanbase collective agrees that Narinder is a liar and is morally, evil, despite every aspect of the game subtly going out of its way to prove the opposite and its in fact just the Bishops and later, the Lamb "Player" who are the ones who are evil, and Narinder is a victim of his own hubris. This is one of the reasons why I aggravated towards aychama's portrayal of Narinder so much because he's almost 1-to-1 lined with his representation in the game. He has his own goals and mostly keeps to himself. He's searching for a way to bypass Death to grant not just himself, but everyone he knows true immortality and he hasn't told a single lie to Lambert or anyone he's spoken to.

Aychama's Narinder has yet to preform any acts worthy of being called evil and beyond the spouted opinions of those who envy the Kings, Narinder hasn't done anything wrong. In fact, he seems to be extremely lonely and focused, knowing he's walking a path many will not accept, but is choosing to do so for a reason beyond just a desire to subjugate others for personal pleasure. This lines up perfectly with the game, and especially the DLC where Shamura admits he led the Bishops to attack and bind Narinder, because he was afraid if Narinder granted mortals immortality, mortals would feel no need to rely on their Gods and thus, they would lose power and control. They feared that Narinder was going to take those who prayed to him, and eliminate their greatest fears, thus setting them free from Cosmic Law.

That doesn't sound like Narinder was ever evil to begin with and again, its why if Lambert does betray Narinder, I don't think I'll be satisfied, given how their relationship is developing. I know both are currently wearing masks to hide their true goals, disguising their intentions yet are still desperately reaching out for the other and knowing Narinder isn't, or hasn't been shown to be evil, means that despite Lamb supposedly being the protagonist and "hero", would be committing an evil act be it of corruption of power, or for the sake of their own pride and therefore, makes it hard for me to even begin to root for their success. They would be actively killing or enslaving the only person who ever treated them like a person of equal merit, who took time to see them for who they are, and didn't use their vulnerability against them, for wholly selfish reasons that wouldn't gel well with my brain.

Long-Winded, I know but it basically comes down to the idea that, unless aychama goes out of their way to make Narinder comically evil, or have Lambert corrupted so thoroughly that they become everything they hated about the Ruling Class, I can't see the betrayal actually happening. And even then, if and when it does, I get the feeling it won't hit hard because one or both would have to drift so far beyond their current characterizations that they would feel unrecognizable. Of course I can admit that I might be 100% wrong here. For all I know, aychama might pull some awesome plot twist outta their ass and just get me right in the feels or pull a bait-and-switch and go full AU with their own desired outcome or ending that they're holding onto. Either way...... this is probably my second favorite version of the NariLamb pairing because I love how raw, sensual and passionate it feels. I'm a sucker for two broken people desperately relying on each other and giving up everything to maintain that love and connection. I just hope that whatever ending they have planned, won't leave an empty feeling on the series because I'm drooling over this couple like a fat kid at a candy store and it never fails to leave me thirsty for more god damnit! lol

You guys know how it’s said that cats purr heals? Yea…

[carcarrot]

having another one of my job-related crises

[oh-meow-swirls]

batshit insane statement but part of harrisville's theme sounds kinda like part of uhhhhh. one fantasy life song. i don't remember which part but it has fantasy life vibes. they probably had the same composers honestly sfdlkfjlksfjkfkjsf-

[galacticlamps]

Something I wanted to bring up earlier in the re-watch but held onto in the hope that I’d forgotten something that would eventually make it make sense is the Doctor’s motivations or goals in Tomb - because frankly, I’m having trouble finding any.

Does he even know he’s landed on Telos? Is he here to see the tombs? I think it’s pretty clear he wants to go inside, since he’s the one who single-handedly makes that possible at every step of the way (no matter how ridiculous some of those steps are, frankly - nobody else in this archaeological expedition could notice the other doors, without his genius to guide them? seriously? these people aren’t meant to be there by accident like he is) - but he keeps warning everybody else not to go further, again for no apparent reason. Not that contradicting himself is out of character either, but now we’re looking for answers to two motivation questions - why does he want to do this, and why doesn’t he want anyone else to know? And I don’t really feel like the serial offers satisfying reasoning for either.

Even his fears & suspicions (in theory, things that might give us an indication of what he hopes to achieve himself in spite of them) are all over the place - when Haydon’s killed in the weapons testing room, the Doctor is the only one not convinced it was a real live Cyberman, and spends the whole scene defending the sensible explanation - and yet as soon as they leave the room and find out the rocket’s been sabotaged, the Doctor now insists to Captain Hopper (with virtually the same certainty we just saw him use to disprove the existence of an alien menace hunting them) that it may well have been a ‘what’ instead of a ‘who’ that’s responsible for trapping them here. And later, when Kaftan closes the hatch on them in the tombs, Viner - the nervous wreck character who we’re inclined to dismiss as overreacting - is the one to immediately & correctly accuse the people upstairs, while the Doctor’s still on his vague, misdirected ‘it could be someone else’ thing - even though seconds later, he calls everyone’s attention to how unbothered Kleig is. He never seems to receive additional information in these moments when he changes his mind about what he’s suspecting, so it feels less like the Doctor figuring things out and making deductions, and more like lines being shoved in his mouth to lend a vague air of uncertainty and mystery to what’s going on, while also carrying us to whatever needs to happen next in the ‘plot.’

To his credit (I guess?) he is suspicious of the Obviously Suspicious characters too, right from the start - but despite later telling Jamie he needed to find out what Kleig was up to (which is the closest we get to an explanation for any of his actions at any point) absolutely nothing is accomplished by the Doctor being onto them from the start - partially because he himself keeps getting misdirected vacillating between believing there are/are not any other threats present, but also because he outwardly antagonizes them while subtly helping them - flipping the correct switches behind their backs and insulting their intelligence to their faces. He’s play-acting, which is typical of him, but there’s no logic to when, why, or how he chooses to do so, because rather than skate under the radar while observing the villains quietly and forming his own conclusions, he marks himself out as an enemy of theirs before they even get serious about their plan, even though he’s actively helping them put it in action.

There’s even an almost brilliant bit (I want to like it so much! but giving it full credit just feels undeserved) when they first climb down to the tombs and Jamie says “you obviously knew what to expect” to the party re: the anoraks, but he & the others wearing them aren’t in shot - the Doctor is, faring better than any of them in the cloak he brought with him from the Tardis and had awkwardly draped over his shoulder in his first scene outside the tomb doors. You could almost make the argument he’d planned getting this far, all along (and headcanon wise, you still could, if you wanted) - but there’s no getting around the fact that the actual story contained in these episodes does absolutely nothing with that implication, if it’s meant to be there at all.

It’s like a pile of Doctorish behaviors - some posturing and trickery, a bit of dazzlingly advanced scientific knowledge, a couple of clever conclusions and a few jokes sprinkled in among ominous warnings - but it’s all scrambled together with little regard for the picture it paints taken as a whole. And maybe I seem like I’m focusing too hard on it or holding it to a standard it’s not meant for, and that might be true to some extent (although I tend to argue that most of these serials are better than people give them credit for, not worse) but the thing is, in Tomb, all of these actions have a spotlight shone on them - the Doctor’s warnings are the final ominous line in a scene, shot in closeup with a sound effect following it before we cut to a different scene - or he hits the switches that make the hatch open and everyone gives Kleig the credit, so Jamie’s given the line “but Doctor, you--” until the Doctor hushes him, to draw the audience’s attention to both the fact that the Doctor is indeed responsible for Kleig’s success and unwilling to have the rest of the group notice that. The script treats things like this as though they are noteworthy and goes out of its way to make sure we recognize that the Doctor knows more than he says and sometimes means the exact opposite of what he tells other people - only to do nothing with it. Part of me’s inclined to call this an over-use of Red Herrings, but I’m not even sure the term really fits in this case? After all, that would imply there’s a purposeful misdirection happening, someone in- or out-of- universe trying to trick either the audience or other characters into believing one thing before a reveal of the opposite. But these elements are so inconsistent, they really don’t convince us of anything in particular, they just get us from point A to point B and from point B to point C & seem to hope we don’t notice whether the trip from A to C makes sense taken all together. And I think that much can be said of a lot of the serial, honestly, but with the Doctor’s actions specifically it’s not just the narrative/framing device that’s strange, but his in-universe actions as well, making the lack of a clear motivation - some goal that he might, theoretically wish to use Red Herrings to obscure - even more frustrating. In this case it’s not just a matter of how the story’s told, it’s actually what he’s doing and saying to these people, and it’s useless.

I can’t say the Doctor’s the only character the script does this to, but I definitely think he’s the one it’s the biggest problem for. Not only is he the main character, the one the audience knows the best & is used to understanding the goals of the best, this is also a terrible point in the series at which to run into this problem with him. Say what you want about Two, but he’s not made out to be as mysterious & inherently suspicious as a lot of later Doctors are, and without retconning that element of the Doctor’s personality and backdating it completely here, there’s no explanation available to a fan watching this in the 60s as to why he’s doing what he’s doing. And coming right after Evil (of all things!) where the audience always knew what he was trying to accomplish even when the other characters in the serial couldn’t be sure about trusting him, his motivations feel especially weak in Tomb, and they just don’t hold up to the same level of scrutiny or analysis they usually do. Two’s certainly capable of causing chaos, double crossing, manipulating people into doing one thing by ostensibly attempting to get them to do another - but here it just feels like replicating those behaviors directionlessly.

Of course, once the Cybermen show up and become the main threat, this issue pretty much disappears, since it becomes clear he wishes to stop them (no matter how many foolish mistakes are made along the way) - but they don’t finish defrosting until the end of Episode 2, and in a 4-part serial, having the Doctor’s actions be so confused for half of it is a pretty big barrier to enjoying it, especially since that confusion isn’t really part of or acknowledged by the plot.

[brick-van-dyke]

A little ramble about Socialist Alternative, leftist radicalisation and privilege. Mostly a vent of sorts so it's going to be messy.

//TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, effects of capitalism on mental health and physical health, mentions of systematic abuse and oppression, etc.

"What radicalised you?"

If you're familiar with Australian leftist politics or just been to an Australian university, you've probably heard this line from Socialist Alternative at some point, particularly if you're a young leftist. At first, I personally didn't know how to answer this, but now? Now I do:

That's the wrong question, it's not about what radicalised me, it's about when I realised I wasn't allowed to exist. I think my main distrust of socialist alternative can be drawn here, as much as I respect their activism (as much as I don't like certain other parts of it and the organisation itself because of how it functions and is set up, among other things) and how they've helped the movements around me grow, I don't like their ethics because it always centres on feeling in the right when, honestly, that isn't what this fight was ever about. It's not simply about what pushes people to some realisation that capitalism isn't working, for many of us, it's about realising when we noticed that we were broken clogs that would always be discarded; realising that we wouldn't even live past 30 in a system that sees us as faulty parts and that'll end with us either starving to death or choosing to kill ourselves to have some semblance of control in a system that is so damning that it actively tries to kill us. And no I'm not even exaggerating, especially when it comes to disability and generally most marginalised groups. It's actively hostile to people like us.

This is taking out one strong example for myself here, but I just feel like every interaction has had an undertone of not really understanding the gravity of what's at stake on an individual level. I think, like Marx, they really don't have anything to lose but their chains, but for the rest of us? We have our lives, something I think others just can't quite comprehend here when I say being anti capitalist isn't a political choice, it's a matter of life or death because here just isn't any other option in order to survive. Don't get me wrong, I agree with Marx on many things, but I do think there's a difference between able bodies, white, middle class activism because capitalism is uncomfortable compared to when you're a minority that's doing this to be allowed to exist, and specifically I think there's a powerful element of privilege that's ignored, especially in the case of socialist alternative. Again, I respect their activism, but this dynamic of power and push being from a white, abled and middle to upper class lens (yes there are people who are minorities within the org, but they don't hold power and much say imo) has led to, in my view, a distorted sense of reality and, more pressingly, policy and vision that is about saving the working class rather than making a world where labour isn't a price you have to pay in order to be allowed to exist. It's not just the exploitation of the working class, though that's a huge part of it, it's also how hostile this system is to people who can't be used; who can't work or who are seen as dirty or wrong for trying to.

So when asked "so, what radicalised you?" I can only really think to reply with "when I realised that wanting to die wasn't my fault, but the people around me that convinced me that my lack of ability to produce is somehow my fault and that I somehow don't deserve basic survival". Because that's the reality and I think, at least with the SAlt members I've spoken to, that isn't something that's really understood; the gravity of this situation on a personal level and that it's not as simple as doing something to make yourself feel good or to have a moment of pride, sometimes (or oftentimes) it's literally survival.

Most of all, I think what cements this for me is the reply I get to when I've asked (genuinely and in good faith) about allegations about their internal environment being "toxic" and "cult like" and, as I explained to them, this is from many different people from different friend groups who all don't know each other but have had he same experiences:

"They're just jealous of us and our activism."

But jealous of what? In a fight for survival, none of us have the opportunity to feel jealous over how it's done because this isn't about feeling a bit better, it's about being allowed to exist. I think this really is what made me realise that this isn't about the right to live for them, but the ability to feel good for fighting on the behalf of people like me and my friends. And, to me, that's something to have healthy caution over when pity is how people have tried to control minorities in the past, and in my own personal experience.

[bet-on-me-13]

The cult of...Danny Fenton?

So! Way back when Danny first moved into his new neighborhood in Gotham, he had some trouble controlling his Powers. The different Types and Levels of Ectoplasm in the air when compared to Amity had thrown off his control.

He was used to being in places where his Ectoplasm meshed well with the Atmosphere, like a Water Balloon in a Pool, but in Gotham that analogy would be closer to a Water Balloon in the sewers. It was too different from what he was used to to fully control his Powers.

So it's understandable that he messed up a few times and his neighbors found out about his Abilities.

They took it well at first, Danny wasn't going to go Rogues or anything, and he never used them maliciously, but eventually they got curious.

They asked what his limits were, how he got them in the first place, and what the hell the Ghost Zone was. The answers "None Really", "I died and was reborn", and "A Collective of every Afterlife at once" did spark some interesting reactions from them.

Most importantly, a few of them joked about him being an Eldritch God that they needed to worship. He was good enough friends with them that at that point they felt comfortable pranking eachother, so they did just that.

Danny woke up one day on his birthday, and saw all of his friends and neighbors surrounding the makeshift Throne they had made and put him on while he was asleep. The entire day they chanted stuff like "The Great One requires Ms. Smiths Apple Pie for his day of birth!" And "The Great One Wishes for us to sing the Ritual Song! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birth-"

After his birthday, they kept up the joke.

It didn't help that his powers had evolved Again! And now he could bestow abilities onto his friends. The jokes they made about their God granting them Supernatural Powers to rule the world with were insufferable.

Then, one day while he was just resting at home, watching a movie on his TV, he felt a Pull at his Core. The same kind of Pull whenever he was being summoned. But why would they summon hi- Oh Shit! It's Mr Jenkins Party today! He was supposed to meet them at the Warehouse they used for special events an Hour Ago!

He quickly accepted the Summoning, but was met with a suprising sight. His Neighbors all tied up in a pile to his right, a spilled table of party food to his left, and right in front of him, Batman and his Family watching him with wary eyes.

Slowly, he opened his mouth. "...so, did you come for the party or..."

[thebestandworstdayofjune]

i'm down on my knees, i wanna take you there

summary: you are suiting up for your first mission, the only problem being everyone "forgot" (intentionally withheld) this information from Logan wc: 2.3k a/n: thank you thank you so much for all of your support about my other Logan fic!! I am really enjoying writing for him, and have a few ideas for this Logan as well as some for Worst!Wolverine aka Deadpool 3!Logan as well! More info about empath!reader's powers and her role at the school in this one <3 warnings: slight (incredibly) slight angst, protective!Logan, a bit of a hurt comfort vibe, Ororo, Scott and Jean are meddlers this is the previous fic with these two, not required reading at all, though!

The leather was cool and surprisingly soft against your skin. There had never been reason for you to have to accompany a mission requiring one of the suits before, and you were shocked at how comfortable the uniform was. Typically, when you were asked to help with a mission, you were there for intel. Scope the place out, get a read on the general vibe of the place. Your powers didn’t provide the same level of protection as laser eyes or a strong regenerative healing factor. You would typically arrive with Rogue, in clothes from your own closet and one of the least fancy cars from the garage. You would slip in, get your read, and get out. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to help, you just lacked the training that the other members of the team had. And after all, someone had to stay back to mind things at the school. When Charles had approached you a few months ago about some possible applications for your mutation that would come in handy on missions, you’d been hesitant. It was so outside of your comfort zone to load yourself onto a jet that you’d never even considered the possibility. You were far more comfortable in the library where you held English classes for the students, or helping Charles keep students calm while exploring their powers. Neither scenario included the possibility of a lot of violence. 

Ororo helped you finish zipping yourself into the suit, smoothing her hands along the sleeves before giving you a final nod of approval. Jean and Scott granted you small smiles and you did your best to look as confident as you knew they felt. 

They’d promised it was a simple mission, the kind they usually took students on when Charles felt they were ready to join the team, if that’s what they decided to do after wrapping up their schooling. Charles had heard word of a young mutant who had some kind of telekinetic powers and had recently had an eruption while at school. Everyone agreed that it would be best to find them and convince them to return to the school for some training with as little force as possible, only expedited by the fact that Charles had found them hungry and afraid after running away from home using Cerebro. In the past, the kids had been resistant due to huge amounts of fear, causing them to lash out. You knew they were right that your powers would be useful at times like these, and if you were able to help in any way you were inclined to. 

“The fuck do you think you’re doing to her?” You sighed. It wasn’t that you were all conspiring to keep this a secret from Logan. It wasn’t a discussion that you’d had to agree on group espionage. It just seemed that all of you had a sort of understanding that it might be better to ask forgiveness rather than permission. Not that you needed permission. 

Logan looked furious, and what’s worse, he felt furious. You and Charles had been working to extend your powers over further distances, no longer needing to touch someone directly to know how they feel. Though it certainly doesn’t hurt matters. You’d sensed him upstairs, seemingly pacing around and seething. You’d hoped one of the kids had gotten on his nerves, or something on tv had set him off. You could see that was foolish now. 

“We aren’t doing anything to her,” Scott had his visor on, blocking his eyes from view, but you didn’t need to see to know that he was rolling his eyes. “She’s chosen to accompany us on a mission.” 

“A small mission!” Ororo chimed in, doing her best to give Logan a reassuring smile. 

You checked back in with his aura. Still furious. But it was a nice try, you supposed. Logan’s hackles were raised, his chest heaving. This certainly wouldn’t do. “Can I have a moment with you,” you glanced around the room, briefly meeting the other three mutant’s eyes. “Alone?” 

Logan was still staring daggers at Scott. He wasn’t even the one who suggested you were ready to come along. Jean and Charles had approached you this morning. You laid a hand against his arm, hoping to lead him out of the room, but he flinched away. The pang in your heart was immediate. Did he really think you were so callous that you would ever use your powers without his express permission, or some kind of emergency. You could feel the tears starting to gather in the corner of your eye, your arms wrapping protectively around your midsection. 

Jean slipped one arm through Scott’s and took Ororo’s hand with her other, gently leading them out of the room. “We are going to check a few things with the jet, last minute.” She began to hustle them out of the room. “Call if you need anything!” 

The door shut firmly behind them, and you were left alone with Logan, who looked like he was going to start shaking. “I wasn’t going to-”

“You don’t think I know that?” You can’t help but recoil. You have never been afraid of Logan, even when it may have been in your best judgement to be wary, and you still aren’t. But you can’t deny that it hurts when he snaps at you. Especially when you thought, well. You thought you were growing close. You started to turn away, but before you could, a warm hand caught ahold of your arm. “I’m not… fuck.” He took a heaving breath, shaking his head as if he could clear whatever thoughts were bothering him. “I’m not mad.” 

Despite the serious energy of the conversation, you couldn’t help the incredulous look you shot his way. He tried his best to hide it, but you could see the corner of his mouth turning up at you. “Fine, I’m not mad at you.” 

“You know, you really can’t be mad at anyone, they were just doing-” you were cut off when you fell Logan’s hand traveling down your arm, and pushing your sleeve up gently from where it was covering your hand. He slipped his hand into yours and you felt yourself relax a bit. “Just, take a look, yeah?” 

“Are you sure you want me to?”

“I trust you, bub.” You searched his eyes for any sign of hesitancy, but all you found was trust. Complete and utter trust. You nodded, tightening your own grip on his hand. Doing your best not to let the gentle rub of his thumb against your knuckles distract you, you took a deep breath and opened yourself up to his feelings. 

At first you did feel anger, bright red and hot. You sifted past it, steeling yourself. The first time you had encountered such strong anger, you had felt as if you were going to collapse. But you were stronger now, more prepared to deal with these kinds of feelings. The anger was strong, but also surprisingly shallow. In the depths of his emotions, Logan was worried. Terrified. A deep dark purple that made your own hands shake. His grip on your hand tightened, effectively drawing you back to yourself. There was more, a soft inviting pink that you didn’t dare to touch and shiny bright gold, which told you he was proud. 

You opened your eyes, fighting back the heat you felt creeping onto your cheeks. His expression hadn’t changed, pure trust and tenderness. It should have been disarming, or at the very least surprising. Logan wasn’t so open and honest with people. But the two of you had always had different expectations for the other. 

You couldn’t help it, a smile crept over your features. “You’re proud of me?” 

He rolled his eyes, but his smile only grew. He took your free hand in his, pulling you in closer. “I’m always proud of you.” He hesitated for a brief moment, and you did your best to bite your tongue. You could tell Logan had been making an effort to open up lately, and not just to you, but that didn’t make prolonged silences and easier to bear. “I know it’s not my place to demand anything of you.” 

“You’re my… friend.” You cut him off, wincing at the pause. It didn’t feel like the time to pressure him into labeling whatever feelings may be floating around. “And I always want to hear my friend’s opinions. What’s bothering you so badly?” 

“I could hear your heartbeat from upstairs.” Your eyes grew wide, too shocked to try to school your expression. Logan had told you several times that he had learned to block out his enhanced hearing when he was quite young. Usually to tease you when you got on a long tangent about something you enjoyed. He pretended to zone out and ignore you, but he would always remember small details about your rants, bringing them up nonchalantly at a later date  “I, uh, keep an ear out sometimes. Helps with the worry.” 

He worries about you? Even more surprising, he’s listening to your heartbeat like background music to his day. You promise yourself you will ask him about it when you don’t have a room full of your friends waiting on you. “I thought we’d covered this. I can take care of myself.” 

He sighed, bringing a hand to rest gently where your jaw meets your neck. “Sweetheart, I know you can. But that doesn’t stop me from watching out for you.” 

Your hand moved to rest overtop of his. “The good news is that I will have lots of people watching out for me. You know they won’t let anything happen.” You receive a single huff in return. He’s not convinced. “You know that these are the kinds of missions we send the kids on. I’ll be fine.” 

He considers for a moment, before dropping his hand and nodding. “Give me a second to get changed, and we will head out.” 

You grabbed for his hand, but he was already out the door, and moving too fast for you to stop. “Logan, don’t be ridiculous.” 

“What’s ridiculous is you thinking that I would ever let you go out there alone.” 

“As we already established, I have three very capable friends coming with me. I am only going as a contingency plan.”

“Well then consider me the contingency to the contingency plan.” You huffed, following him next door. 

You darted around in front of Logan, pushing against his chest with all your strength, even if you were fully aware that it was the equivalent of a fly buzzing around him. He stopped all the same, eyebrows pulled together in frustration. “I know you’re worried and I know that this is you trying to help.” Logan had his I’m about to interrupt you look on his face, leaving you to shove him again. Thankfully, he understood your intention. “This is important to me. You can’t be there every time, and I have to stand on my own two feet. I want to contribute to the work we do here more than just teaching kids about how awesome Shakespeare is.” The look was back. “Which is still an important contribution.” You added, which seemed to appease him. “But, I don’t want it to be my only contribution. So I am going to go and make sure that this scared kid who is all alone out there makes it back here safe. And you are going to stay here and make sure that everyone gets dinner and help with their assignments. And then when I get back, we are going to have a talk about all this.” 

“All this?” A smile crept back onto your face, hearing the teasing tone in his voice. 

“Oh my god shut up!” He caught your hands before they made contact with his chest, but he was slow to let go this time. He brought the back of both of your hands to his mouth, dropping a small kiss on each one, before returning your hands to your side. 

“If you come back with so much as a bump to the head, Scott’s dead.” 

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, and pointing out that this was exactly what you were talking about earlier did little to sway him. So you gave in, agreeing to give him a full report before slipping your hand into his and tugging him towards the jet. 

“We’ll be back in a bit.” You promised. You could feel the others staring from just inside the jet, but you barely noticed. Logan was checking over your suit meticulously, tugging zippers a few more clicks up and making sure that the collar wasn’t too tight around your neck. He kneeled down, checking to make sure the laces on your boots were double knotted. “Logan,” you laughed, reaching down to tilt his head up to look at you. “I’m too seconds away from sending a lot of exhaustion your way and leaving you passed out in here. You have to let me go, it’s going to be fine.” 

He remained kneeling for a second too long, a look in his eyes you couldn’t entirely place. The sound of the jet powering on broke the both of you out of your trance. He was on his feet in a flash, checking over you one final time. You rose up on your tippy toes, balancing by resting your hands on his shoulders, before gently kissing him on the cheek. You pulled back, nose scrunched up from the tickle of his facial hair. “We’ll be back in a few hours. Hold down the fort for us, yeah?” 

He nodded, pupils slightly blown out and a dreamy look on his face. You giggled, walking backwards for as long as you can before turning around and finding a seat on the jet. You could feel Jean and Scott’s eyes on you as Ororo began maneuvering the jet out of the garage. “Don’t even start.” You muttered, settling firmly into your seat, doing your best to soak up the pride and confidence the others were projecting into the cockpit. 

as always, feedback is so appreciated! if you have any requests for these two/wolverine in general, please leave them here!

next part

[great-and-small]

Do y’all know about Frédéric Thomas? He is a French parasitologist who heard a story about crickets in New Zealand leaping into the water even though they can’t swim, and immediately speculated this suicidal behavior was related to behavior manipulation from an internal parasite. This is before neuro-parasitology was a field at all, and before people really put much stock into parasite’s ability to control animal behavior.

Thomas was certain that studying these crickets would be a huge priority for the scientific world given the implications of a parasite controlling an animal’s actions in such an insidious way. Unfortunately, absolutely nobody would fund Thomas’ expedition to study the crickets, and his grants were all declined. In a wild move that showcases the balls to the wall, near- insanity level passion of a biologist, Thomas declared a hunger strike and wrote a letter to the president of France saying he would not eat until someone took the matter seriously and funded his study on the suicidal crickets. I feel like those of us in research can at least a little bit understand this impulse.

Well the French government actually got Thomas’ message and freaked out a bit at the negative publicity that could arise from a crazy worm scientist starving to death. So they send some government bigwigs to the university to pressure Thomas and his department heads into calling an end to the hunger strike. In the flurry of attention that resulted from this, a Swiss billionaire heard about Thomas’ plight and offered to partially fund the study. The French government was happy to get rid of Thomas and contributed funding as well so that Thomas could head to New Zealand to study his suicidal crickets. He was right about the parasites causing the behavior!

The hunger strike debacle is not even the wildest part of this story. I love biology so much

[rubyvhs]

just let me — dean winchester

content / you start having nightmares and hide it from dean; he, of course, finds out.

authors notes / fills my song prompt ‘all to myself by dan + shay’ @jacklesversebingo + idea came from a beautiful anon, I loved writing this

You were, very obviously, not falling asleep for the past week at least. Dean tried to talk to you about it; he’s still trying, even when you’re both winding down in the ‘Dean Cave,’ but it’s a lost cause—you’re completely ignoring him when he mentions it. He understands wanting some level of privacy or not being in the mood to talk your feelings out, but he knows it's deeper than that, and it's killing him that you don’t trust him enough to tell him.

Killing him is an understatement, but he doesn't even know what to do anymore—you’re completely pulling away the second he mentions anything sleep related. So he’s taking a different route. You're a pretty independent person; you didn't want to move into the bunker until you were a hundred percent sure this was it. But you still spend some nights here. You haven't in a month though (count it as Red Flag Number Ten).

“Hey, baby,” he says as he shuts off the TV and packs up the snacks you were both having while watching the movie. You start to help him before he shakes his head, making you pause.  “Can you— uh, stay here? Tonight?”

You smile teasingly, looking up at him, “Mr. Winchester, are you asking me to have a sleepover with you?” You whisper, overexaggerating your words, and it earns you a soft laugh. Before you, Dean didn't have much reason to smile like he does now, he doesn't know what he’d do if you're no longer there with him, your usual teasing and happy self; which is exactly why he's trying to help you now.

“Shut up. Can you stay?”

“I don’t know, Dean.” You shrug, standing up as he does to bring the snack to the kitchen. You pull the door behind you after shutting off the lights. “I’m busy tomorrow, and it’s a long drive—”

“I’ll take you.”

“I wake up at six; we’ll have to get up at five to make it to my house in time.” You wonder out loud, though you’re fairly sure you could make it back to your house in less than thirty minutes if you try tomorrow, so you’re not scared to miss work or anything; you’re more so looking for a way to say no without it coming from you. 

You don’t want to upset Dean, but you’ve already noticed him asking if you’re okay often, so maybe it’s time to tell him.

Four weeks ago, you accidently drove to a warehouse where you encountered a few Vamps. You’re not a hunter like Dean is, and so, naturally, you run as fast as you freakin’ can, which only does as little as you can guess it does. Thankfully, the Winchesters were there already and came to your rescue. 

Ever since then, he insisted you stay in the bunker, but you’re nothing if not stubborn and decided you’re just fine. There’s no need for you to take up space here (even if you stay in it most of the time already and even if it’s so big that they wouldn’t even notice you moving in, let alone staying a couple of days). 

So you stayed at your house, and you’ve been having nightmares every single freakin’ night. It’s exhausting, and you’re so unrested that you’re distressed you’re missing chunks of your days. 

Selfishly, Dean is angry. He knows something is wrong; he’s sure it had to do with the vamps, yet you’re not talking to him about it. He thought when he asked you to be his, that meant: you’re his. You don’t need anyone else, he’ll help you through it; he’s been through it himself when he first found out about monsters. Granted, this is different (you knew about monsters just didn’t see them), but it’s similar enough that he can help you through it.

“C’mon.” He frowns, taking the plates from you while he talks. “Don’t be like that, you haven’t spent the night in a long time.” And it’s been driving him crazy. He slept just fine before you came along, then you had to ruin everything for him; now, he can’t even get a full five hours if he doesn’t hear your soft breaths in his arms. 

“Yeah, I’m busy, you’re busy—”

“Bullshit.”

“Fine, Dean, I’ll spend the night.” Unlike you thought, his frown deepens. He washes his hand then walks over to you, his hands on your hips. “What?”

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” 

Question of the year. 

You ignore him, shrugging, then tell him you’ll be in his room. He waits a few minutes before he follows. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do if you’re not going to try with him. He’s asked you a dozen times at least, and yet you insist that nothing is wrong.

At least you staying over means no more hiding from him; Dean will find out what’s wrong—he won’t take no for an answer. 

When he steps into his room to see you’re not inside, he assumes you’re getting ready for bed in the bathroom like you always do. He’s about to check before you shut the door behind you, jumping when you notice him. 

Except it’s not a normal: ‘oh my god, Dean! You scared me’ moment. He’s pretty sure he saw your eyes watering— again, so not ‘fine’. Your stubbornness is something Dean's always admired about you, his lover, the person he gets to spend his life with, so it came to him as a surprise when you started using it against him. 

He won’t let it come between you.

“Dean?” You ask silently when you look back at him from your spot on the bed, and he’s still standing in front of the bathroom. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.” He reassures, glad to see you calm down after the scare. It doesn’t take long to turn off the lights and for your breaths to get shallower. He lets out a deep breath when he hears your soft, relaxed sighs, safe next to him once again. He’s not sure he could ever really share you (with your house, in this example. But in all honesty, he wouldn’t share you with anyone or anything, and he’s made that clear). 

Dean takes a little more time to fall asleep, but he stays cuddled up next to you, one of his arms underneath your body, the other on your waist. He used to hate being this close to someone at first, never understood why he’d need to do it, but the more you weren’t by his side, the more he felt like he was losing a piece of himself. Dean will always seek you out.

That’s when he feels it. The small rustle of the sheets as you move around. He’s half asleep, and it’s subtle at first, enough that he doesn’t wake up fully. But you do it again, this time with low sobs, and it alarms him so much that he flips around, waking you up in a babbling mess of ‘what’ ‘where am I’ ‘oh my god’. 

“Hey, hey.” Dean says, his hand coming to wrap around your arm. “You okay? You were crying.”

When you bring your hand up to your face, there are, in fact, tears running down your cheeks. You pull away from him completely, mumbling something he can’t quite hear before running to the bathroom in pitch black darkness. Alarm bells are fucking pounding in Dean’s head, but he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. 

He doesn’t get off the bed for a while, still debating his next move. He doesn’t want you to get angry at him but does that matter if you’re crying? 

He decides he doesn’t give a fuck at you being upset with him and knocks harshly on the bathroom door that you locked behind you. “I’m fine, Dean.” He hears you call out a second after, which is complete bullshit, but he knows he has to be gentle in a situation like this one.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Let me in and tell me what happened.” It doesn’t take as much convincing as he thought it would, because he almost falls down when you open the door suddenly. He straightens up at your frowning figure, tear stricken face and red eyes. “Hey, what’s all this?” He steps closer, bringing you into his chest, and you don’t even struggle against him, you just let out a breath when your head’s on his chest. 

“It hurts.” He’s not sure you’ll ever know how bad it hurts him hearing you say those words to him. “I see them every night, Dean. Every single night, they’re just in my dreams, and I can’t sleep, and I can’t— close my—”

Yeah, he gets it. He shrinks the distance between you and presses his lips to your head. “‘S okay.” He knows it isn’t. He can’t have you sleeping three hours a night and still overworking yourself. He can’t have you running around yourself trying to hide this from him when he’s the reason you’re like this. 

He didn’t know that the nest would be there, but he knew you would be. He was the one who sent you the location and then your car broke down half way there— he was just glad your phone was still on. 

But he doesn’t say all of that. Instead he breathes in your shampoo, thankful you’re so close, that he can smell and feel you. That he still has a chance to make it up to you.

“I’m sorry.” Your low voice breaks his heart a little more. “I didn’t— I know you do this all the time, and I shouldn’t cry, I know that.”

“Stop.” His voice comes out jagged, and it makes you look up at him. “It shouldn’t have happened in the first place; you should’ve never seen that. I’m sorry you did.”

You don’t think Dean’s ever once apologized to you. 

“It’s fine to be scared.” His finger licks under your chin, the more contact with him, the more safe you feel. And it’s a terrifying emotion, being so relaxed with someone— enough to let all your inhibitions go. “I’m here for you, always.”

He might burst seeing you visibly calm down due to his words. The trust you have in him— he’s not sure if he deserves it, but he knows he won’t take it for granted. ”Back to bed?”

“Back to bed.” You don’t get your full eight hours, but it’s only because he woke you up a little earlier for some morning activities. You’re pretty sure it’s the best you’ve slept in a month. 

[tswkento]

kind of arranged marriage au with gojo, where it is suddenly proposed during a big meeting that he attended out of pure convenience rather than his own desire and he is thoroughly disinterested in the idea until you come into the picture.

dragged into the room with two guards holding you up by your arms as you writhe in their hold, so bratty and feisty, unintentionally catching everyone’s attention as you curse the men by your sides — satoru finds your voice to be very familiar, but he can’t understand why because your hair is all over your face from your squirming.

and when you are not so gently put down on the floor, with your kimono in disarray while you are huffing and panting as you blow the strands of hair away from your face, satoru finally recognises you.

he watches as the guards let you go, cautiously watching you as you fix your kimono and smooth down your hair, and when an old lady approaches you they go away. some old man appears by his side, shakily introducing himself to satoru, but he completely ignores the man, still waiting for you to be alone to proceed. suddenly, this whole event becomes a lot more entertaining.

the old lady by your side points at the other side of the room and satoru follows her directions along with you — catching the sight of naoya zenin and the disgusted look you grant the lady before she whispers something into your and you direct your gaze at him.

the delight satoru feels at the sight of the death glare you send him is on another level. it is really you.

while he waits for the right moment, gojo takes in what the old man has been saying to him — apparently you were to be wedded either to him or to naoya, which could explain your previous interaction with the lady and the dirty look you gave the zenin guy.

the moment the old lady leaves you alone, satoru appears, languid steps approaching you as he shoves his hands in his pockets and bends forward, smirking down at you.

“oh i remember you. 2005, exhange event, fukuoka branch?”

you continue glaring at him, unwilling to dip into the memories he is sure he has brought back into your mind — your glossy lips twitch, though, so he knows you have a lot to say. he can tell you haven’t really changed from the first time he met you, but for some reason you are holding back now.

“haven’t changed, have you? the same bratty attitude, all bark and no bite.” he continues to rile you up, hoping that the condescending tone of his voice will bring something out of you. it seems to work because you hiss out a reply not even a moment later,

“and you’re still the same asshole, aren’t you?”

the sight of your balled fists, burning with potent cursed energy, makes his smirk grow, and he only chuckles.

“easy, tiger, we both know you are in no position to speak to me like that.”

your eyes widen at his words, feet taking you away from him as you gulp down whatever response you had in your mind. the fact that he has so much control over your life right here right now scares him just as much as it excites him, but the cruelty of his words is far bigger than what he has in mind.

at the end of the day, you are quite a pitiful sight.

he could just say ‘no’ and you will be basically sold to the zenin for your pretty face, very much aware of the tormenting you will be forced to go through to become a picture perfect wife for naoya. everyone knows that. you know that.

he looks down at your fists, seeing the unstable flickering of the energy around it, making him raise a wondering brow at that and causing you to hide your hands behind your back. your technique was something you were very proud of back then, and seeing you being self-conscious now was a confusing sight.

“what happened to being a sorcerer and all? did you give up so easily after your class lost that summer?”

you click your tongue at him, crossing your arms over your chest as you look around warily.

“i am forbidden from using my technique.”

“too bad at it?”

“no, asshole. i can’t work because i could hurt myself and it would be a liability to—” you close your mouth, a deep frown appearing on your forehead as you sigh. satoru, ever the patient, urges you,

“to what?”

you take a deep breath, covering your face with your palm, “to my reproductive system.”

oh. right. the clan heads are obsessed with him having an heir so it’s no wonder something like this even happened. though, satoru does feel pity brewing inside of him when he realises that you’ve been deprived of your life’s work and made to become something you clearly were not. he remembers your 16 year old self being very adamant on becoming the best of the best after losing to them for the nth time.

satoru makes a show of rubbing his chin, as if in deep thought, and then gasps, a wide smile appearing on his lips as he leans down to be on your eye level again.

“so, what do you think about becoming my wife?”

“everyone here knows that you don’t want to get married.” you glance at him in utter confusion, untrusting of his words.

satoru nods, smirking lazily, “i don’t. never said it’s gonna be a great marriage.” he takes a lock of your hair between his fingers, twirling it lightly while he continues, “it’s gonna save you, though.”

“what’s in it for you?”

“i get to save your day like the true hero i am and have the old geezers off my back,” he holds out his hand for you, an offer for you to take it and agree to this whole thing, “and you get to lead a semi-normal life with me. are you in or not?”

your eyes roam over his features before turning to the room full of people before you. everyone was staring at him and you, satoru already knew that, and as soon as you were to put your hand in his — chaos would ensue.

so you did. and thus, a different life started.

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Worldbuilding and Magic Systems: Things to Consider

Have a magic system in mind for your fantasy world? Here's a list of things to consider to help you tie this system into the rest of your worldbuilding, so that it feels more believable and realistic.

Source

What is the source of magic? Is it natural or man-made? Can humans use magic or is it a force of nature that only animals or other races can use?

Does magic originate from inside a person or does it require external items to use? If it comes from items, can the items be made? How long does it take to make the items?

Does the magic cost anything- money, stamina, health, etc.?

Can a person be cut off from being able to use magic? If so, how?

Prevalence

How common is magic in your world? Is it so common that everyone has seen it or is it a subject of myths and rumors?

How long have the people in your world known about magic? Has it always been there or is it a new discovery?

How much does the average person know about magic? How much do experts know? What do people not understand about this magic? Are there any common misconceptions? Myths?

Is magic revered or feared? Or if it's common, is it taken for granted? Are there any taboos surrounding magic?

How many types of magic are there? Are some more common than others?

Are there dedicated schools of thought surrounding the study of magic? Is it taught about in schools? If so, is it taught to children or only at the college (or equivalent) level?

Accessibility

Who can use magic? Who can't? Is it something that only the rich and powerful can use? Why? Or do genetics determine who can use it? Wealth?

Are there any physical limitations that might restrict who can use magic? For instance, maybe old or sickly people can't use magic because it requires a lot of physical effort. Does your society provide accommodations for people who can't use magic? Is a lack of magic ability considered a disability?

Does education level determine capacity for magic?

How easy is it to gain access to magic? How easy is it to learn about magic?

Power/Usefulness

How powerful or useful is magic for different parts of society? Military? Medicine? Entertainment? Art? Childcare? Government? Communication? Business?

How does magic affect the politics of your world? How does it shape the economy? Are there feuds over the use of magic? Do powerful groups in your world have an incentive to limit the use and accessibility of magic? Why?

What happens when people no longer have access to magic? Does this cripple their ability to go through their daily lives? How?

Mix, match, and cross-reference these with other elements of your worldbuilding to form a believable magic system that lives and breaths just as the rest of your world does. For every answer you give to the questions above, consider and build upon the implications of what that might mean for your world. A worldbuilder's best skill is the ability to ask "How will this affect ___?" So make sure you're always considering the ripple effects of each element you add to your world.

Happy worldbuilding y'all!

[sarahghetti]

blood on your lies; m.s.

pairing: marc spector x reader centric, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

summary: after an argument with marc, you go missing. he tears himself apart trying to find you.

warnings: a dive into the mind of marc spector, angst, hurt with some comfort (i.e. jake and steven), kidnapping, vague descriptions of violence.

word count: 3.0k

notes: kind of a continuation of all the echoes in my mind, but can be read as a standalone. written as part of the @moonknight-events bingo! prompt: "insecure", I promise that not all my entries will be this sad lol

MOON KNIGHT MASTERLIST | ALL MASTERLISTS

You’re not home yet.

It’s nearly been three hours. Marc paces the apartment like a caged animal, likely wearing the hardwood underneath his feet. Steven and Jake have run their course about how stupid he is, how he shouldn’t have said what he said, how he should’ve run after you the second you stepped out the door—

But jokes on them. There can be no harsher critic of Marc than Marc himself.

He checks his phone again in case you’ve responded to his many texts and calls, but there’s nothing. As far as he knows, you haven’t even seen any of it.

His temper still lingers under their skin, and he holds it tight with both hands; anger is easy. It’s easier than admitting that the peaks in his heartrate and the sweat on his brow is from anything other than his own self-flagellation.

Anger is familiar.

This, however? The waiting for you to walk through the door, or to give them any sign of life—so much of his sanity rests in the comfort of you being safe. Marc didn’t realize how lucky he was to not know what this was like. Now, he doesn’t know if he can ever forget it.

Jake’s voice is clipped. “Check again.”

They’re all on edge, and it’s terrible. Most of the time, at least one of them manages to keep a level head during stressful situations—usually Marc. Jake is prone to anger, Steven to anxiousness.

“Marc!” Steven yanks him out of his head, and his phone is in his hand without any memory of having taken it out of his pocket. He does a dutiful look through his notifications—nothing.

Three sets of disappointment and concern pile on top of one another and drags them all down so much further.

“Do…” Steven’s voice is quiet. Unsure. “Do you think something might’ve happened to her?”

There is no dissenting opinion, no devil’s advocate. Marc doesn’t try to calm his alters down, and only clenches his jaw.

You’ve never gone quiet on them like this. They’ve never let you leave the flat at night like this. They always opted to be the one to go take a walk because even in the middle of an argument, they wouldn’t risk your safety.

The lingering silence is Steven’s answer.

When the suit wraps itself around his body, the accompanying burst of power in his veins is suffocating. His wounds begin to numb over, but Marc barely notices. He hasn’t spared them a thought since you left.

The cool air does nothing to assuage him. Clouds blot out the sky, leaving nothing but a murky backdrop as he scales up the nearest building for a vantage point. A quick scan over the horizon—nothing. Not a hint of your silhouette under the streetlights, and a lump forms in his throat.

“Khonshu!”

A gust of wind signals the god’s arrival, who, even with a bird’s skull for a head, looks remarkably bored as Marc is clinging to any semblance of sanity. He must already know what’s going on but frustratingly just spreads out his hands, a silent question—what?

Marc grits his teeth. “Where is she?”

“Who?”

“Khonshu.” The name is a snarl on his lips.

He simply scoffs. “You have the gall to make demands? As if I need to be involved with your lover’s spat?”

“She’s not answering her phone.”

A lingering pause.

“She might be in danger,” Marc snaps, trying to get the god to understand even a fraction of the severity of the situation. They might bloody their hands night after night, staining London’s streets each time they go out on patrol, but it’s never enough. There are always more monsters to take their place, and the thought that you might have run into one of them—

Khonshu cocks his head. “Maybe she’s just finally had enough of you.”

Marc hates how that’s a possibility. Still, desperation crawls out of his throat. “Can you find her?”

Khonshu turns to look over the city, the silence stretching out between them. Whatever divinity he’s channeling, Marc isn’t privy to; all he can do is stand there like a useless dumbass and wait for some hint of you to show up on the god’s radar. Even if you had had enough and never want to see him again—he’ll swallow down that fate in stride as long as he knows that you’re safe.

When Khonshu finally breaks from searching, his head cocks slightly to the side. “Interesting.”

This is hardly the time for theatrics. “Do not—”

“I cannot find her,” the god admits. Not apologetic or ashamed, but—awed. “Where she is right now, her footsteps through the city—there is nothing, Marc Spector. There’s not even a trace of her in your own home.”

The blood rushes in his ears. His chest constricts until he can barely breathe at all. Marc barely manages to wrap his head around the information before Jake and Steven come roaring back again, shocked and confused.

“Stupid fucking bird—”

“She was right here!

“Let me out, pendejo, I swear—”

“What the bloody hell does he mean—”

“How?” Is all Marc manages to get out, every one of his senses on overload.

“Something is hiding her from me; whatever took your lover is very powerful indeed.”

Took. Not a single doubt about it now: something took you. Kidnapped you because Marc couldn’t keep it together for ten-fucking-minutes. Jake and Steven can prattle all they want in the background—his mission is clear.

“Where do we start?”

-

The flat seems even bleaker when they return, your absence all the more chilling. Steven clamours to take the reins with the obvious assumption that research is the first step they need to take, but that’s quickly dashed away when Khonshu returns with a name.

“Apep.” God of darkness and disorder, Steven supplies from their head. “He’s been cast away for eons, but there have always been those trying to get him to return.”

“It’s another cult?”

Jake swears under his breath. “Figures.”

Ignoring them, Marc presses on. “Who are we dealing with now?”

“If it were easy to find them, I would’ve done it already,” Khonshu bristles. “Apep is helping them—hiding them as they work. I will continue to do what I can.”

“Fine.”

The god disappears in a whirlwind of loose papers, and Marc switches gears. Steven might have the advantage in research, but tracking? The skills he’s honed as a Marine and as a mercenary wait for him like an old pair of shoes; the others can’t help but let him work in peace.

He finds some old tourist map that spans over the city and unfolds it across the dining table. There are only so many places you would’ve gone, so many routes you could’ve taken. London doesn’t become deserted at night and barring any divine intervention, kidnapping someone would cause a scene—you would have caused a scene, he thinks, imagining you fighting tooth and nail against your assailants, screaming for someone to help—

Marc closes his eyes, clenches his jaw. A wave of pain washes over him, and he languishes in it for a minute, not a moment more.

His eyes reopen, spots dancing across his vision as he analyzes the map again. The feeling has been sealed shut into a box, shoved into a corner of his mind. Steve would throw a fit about his mental state if it were any other time, lecturing him on coping mechanisms and compartmentalization, but there’s no time for him to feel sorry for himself.

He grits his teeth and refocuses his train of thought. If they’re up against a cult, then they probably would’ve sent multiple people to grab you. Would’ve had to lure you somewhere quiet if it was by force, or they could have convinced you to go with them somehow. Or threatened you. Or…

The more he gets into it, the more he feels himself detaching from the situation, piece-by-piece. The memory of you is like a minefield; it’s a testament to his will that he can recall anything about you without breaking down. What you were wearing—and not the look on your face—when you left. Your favourite park—and not how your hand fits perfectly into his as you walked down the paths—that you might have passed through.

He reduces you to intel, just another folder on his desk. It’s not unfamiliar to him. He wouldn’t have made it this far if he couldn’t take an objective approach to his work. But it’s different because it’s you, because the stakes include you, and when he looks up to try to ground himself again, he spots your favourite mug on the coffee table. Half-empty.

-

If Layla were here.

The words bounce around his head as Marc stares up at the ceiling. He didn’t mean it. Steven and Jake are both better with words than Marc, but he’s never loved you any less—he’s never wanted you to be anyone but yourself.

It’s been almost two days since you left, and it’s only now that he’s allowed himself to be corralled into bed. His grip of the hot seat is ironclad, however, which means that the body isn’t getting any sleep tonight. The sun will rise soon, and he’ll pick up his work right where he left off.

Quietly, from the back of his head: “Marc?”

“Could’ve taken the victim anywhere,” Marc murmurs, mind still whirring in the dark.

“’Victim’?” Steven’s voice shifts to be full of indignance. “How could you possibly call her that?”

“Ay, easy on him,” Jake pipes up. For Jake to immediately to jump to his defence means that Marc must be worse off than he thought, but he can’t bring himself to care. “How’s it going, hombre?”

“No sightings on any security cameras. Nothing reported to the cops.” Hours of his time—your time—summarized in a breath. His face remains blank. “I’m going to sweep the remaining areas tomorrow. Find some people who might’ve seen something.”

He’s been doing nothing but cross possibilities off his list. It’s barely any progress and his remaining leads are weak, but his resolve is as strong as ever.

“Nothing from Khonshu?”

“No.” Marc has no idea what the god is doing.

They lay in silence for a bit, listening to the maddening tick-tick-tick of the clock on the wall. Anger is unsustainable, but Marc wishes that they’d return to yelling at him again. At least he knows what to do with that.

Instead, all he gets is Steven’s restrained tone: “Something has to change, you know.”

“Are you really telling me to go to therapy right now?”

“Can’t do much else.” For a moment, Steven’s bitterness resonates. There’s another conversation to be had here—one about their individual capabilities and protective natures—but Marc lets it rest for the night. He knows he’d be driven up the wall if their situation was reversed, if you were in danger and he had to rely on someone else to save you.

He still deflects. “Not the time for this.”

“Maybe not,” Steven concedes, “but you need help, Marc.”

Distantly, Marc recognizes that he’s always needed help. Even after reconciling with Steven and Jake, even after meeting you—the wounds are still there, despite how hard he’s tried to ignore them. He’s stubborn and self-destructive, not stupid.

“We’re with you, always,” Jake adds. Discomfort crawls under Marc’s skin from the supportive words, and he knows that his alters are well aware of it. It’s never stopped them, of course.

“We can talk about this after—after we save her.”

A general murmur of consensus. Marc quickly regains his footing, eager to move on from this line of conversation.

“I’ll find something. Or Khonshu will.” Steady and reassured—trying to convince them and himself. “We’ll get her back.”

Steven’s voice is small, even in the confines of their head. “But why would they take her in the first place?”

-

“He needs an avatar?” The body hasn’t slept in days. That void of feeling pulses with anger, desperation, fear—it simmers low in their gut, a torch passed along between them.

“Apep will need a vessel once they release him.”

“Here I thought one of his cultists would volunteer.”

Khonshu taps his staff against the ground thoughtfully. “They knew we would come after them, and we’re not the only ones.”

For the briefest of moments, Marc feels hopeful, like the odds aren’t as stacked against them as they thought. It disappears just as fast—Khonshu doesn’t deliver hope. The blood drains out of his face as he actually starts to consider the god’s words.

“If Apep possesses your precious lover, would you really be able to stop her? To take up arms against her?”

Khonshu leans in close then, hollowed eyes burrowing into him.

“Would you let others do the same?”

-

Over the next week, things begin to look up.

Someone’s girlfriend’s cousin says that they saw someone who looked like you walking down The Mall. There’s a fuzzy image of a car with no license plates. Khonshu catches the briefest hint of you on Westminster Bridge and follows you far, far east—it’s a mere grain of information that’s slipped through Apep’s power, but it’s enough for Marc.

They find the car abandoned in Dover, near the water. It rules out France—driving through the Eurochannel would’ve been the fastest route there, after all. Trying to take a public ferry would’ve been stupid with a captive, which means that they probably chartered or owned a boat.

The remaining pieces fall into place, and he can feel the anticipation from the others build in the background. Marc has led the charge so far with very few breaks to let Steven and Jake breathe a little. Steven misses you so much, he cries whenever he fronts. Jake has gone eerily quiet, and Marc knows what’s simmering underneath the surface; when the fighting starts, Jake will be called to action. His excitement is brutal.

It's all coming to an end soon. Laying on some dirt in the Norwegian countryside, shrouded in darkness, Marc’s never seen more stars in his life. If he’s right—and he is right—they’ll be bringing you to a nearby compound for the final step of their ritual. He couldn’t care less about the how or why. Come the morning, you’ll be here. Marc will get them inside. Jake will get to you. And then…

Marc will probably never be the partner that you deserve, and you never should’ve been subjected to his life. To sleepless nights and patching up his injuries and comforting him after nightmares that has him thrashing in the sheets—

But he can’t survive without you. It’s a simple little fact that gives him the power to move mountains; there are none bigger than the mess of his own head.

Exhaustion creeps up on him, and he can’t help but struggle against it. Fighting to keep his eyes open, his thoughts spill into the air. “Need to take care of her first.”

“Taking care of yourself is taking care of her,” Steven says gently. Have they had this conversation already? Marc’s been so singled in on this mission that everything else has fallen by the wayside. He can’t remember the last thing he ate, or what he’s wearing under the suit. The ground is the softest thing he’s ever felt.

If there’s any comparison to be made between you and Layla, it’s that he’s failed both of you. Maybe he could be different this time. Even if you decide that you want nothing to do with him after all this, he could still get help. He’ll have Steven and Jake. He’ll have himself and his scrappy resolve and the memories of this heart-aching pain, and maybe he’ll finally get better.

Marc lets his eyes close; the body needs rest for what’s to come. You don’t deserve any less than their best.

Just a few more hours.

-

Marc watches the fight from their headspace. Jake doesn’t miss a single shot and never so much as falters when one of them manages to land a hit. This is the longest break Marc’s gotten from fronting in a while, but he can’t bring himself to look away.

Jake loops their arm around the neck of cultist unlucky enough to be nearby, gripping his hair so hard Marc can nearly feel the strands through his fingers, feel it when Jake jerks their arm to the side and twists—

-

Your handlers left you alone in another room with nothing but a hard cot to curl into as you waited for them to retrieve you again. Locked inside but unbound—Marc hates how you startle when he breaks through the door.

Eyes wide, your mouth opens and closes multiple times without success. “You—you came.”

Marc wishes there weren’t so much surprise in your tone. Of course he came for you, it was never a choice for him—for any of them.

But clearly there was a part of you that thought he wouldn’t, wasn’t there? That he might just leave you in the clutches of some power-hungry cult because—because what, you’re not his ex-wife? Because you think he doesn’t love you?

The need to rectify that pierces his heart. He pulls you close, knuckles white in your shirt. “I love you.”

You shake in his arms. “Marc—”

“I love you.”

The words don’t stop; they fall from his lips like a prayer. Even as you weep, soaking the suit with your tears, he says it. I love you. I love you. I love you. In every variation, in every way—he’ll never let you believe otherwise again. He’ll say it over and over, work tirelessly to become the man you both deserve. For the rest of your lives. For the rest of time.

However long you’ll give him.