#granted im sure that is how a lot of people feel about their old art haha

[wheatcak3]

felt like doing a little redraw of the sillies uwu 💖

original from 2022:

[alinktoana]

30 day no fanart challenge

this is the meat of the challenge: no fanart for 30 days (oh wow lol) 1. drawing categories/prompts instead of IP: it can be *anything*, it can be food, hobbies/professions, folklore/mythology. eg: actual taiko drums instead of taiko no tatsujin characters, cute dinosaurs instead of yoshi, cool hedgehogs instead sonic (lol) 2. IF i happen to wanna draw fanart, it's gotta be at least 100 years old (anything before 1924) eg: drawing fanart of John Tenniel's Alice (1865) and not disney Alice (1951), Albert Lynch's Joan of Arc (1903) and not Clone High Joan (2002). ps: im not sure about famous people yet, but i think ill go with the same idea that theyd have to have been dead before 1924.

here's some stuff ive drawn with that in mind, even though i hadnt stablished the challenge yet lol

why a no fanart challenge? well well well, if this isnt another post artist alley eulogy lol

here's some background feelings: after having helped promote 2 japanese food festivals and tabled on both its artist alley's, and knowing myself, and having grown up in the age of comic/book to film adaptations and the rebootprequelsequelmagaddon, it's really hard for me not to fanart, even though i trashtalk hollywood all the time for not taking risks and doing original stuff, lo and behold, i do the same. who am i to judge _anything_ when i watched all three star wars sequels in theaters and crushed on kylux for years, i was kneedeep into hannigram, i gave money to the barbenheimer industrial complex. how can i blame RGG for not letting kiryu go when i _cried legit tears of joy_ when pirate majima was announced? (granted, it's not as bad as the kiryu situation lol but this is about ma$cots, not me lol)

i love a lot of characters, a lot of stories, im always jumping from show to show, game to game, and coming back to them. but i wanna go beyond my love for other people's art and be in love with my own, now that im at a better skill and mental state. it might not resonate as much, specially at the japanese festivals im a part of, but i wanna try. and im gonna start slow, i *am* going to draw japanese food, japanese animals, and create my tiny little scenes and see what comes up. i love stickers with every fiber of my being lol so ill always have in mind that ill draw stuff that i would wanna stick on my own sketchbooks and journals. but i need to do this, at least for 30 days. who knows what will happen later, you know? a friend of mine once said that colored pencils are like sugar, and graphite pencils are like veggies. and i feel like fanart and not-fanart is the same. we love fanart, but it's not healthy to only draw fanart... also i love people who delve into IP OCs and stuff, it always seems a lot of fun. i could try that, but i think ill cut my fanart ties cold turkey and then i can figure something out, i dont know lol i could go back to d&d character sheets lol another side note: i went to film school bc i loved watching movies. i wanted to tell stories, but i had no idea how, and i didnt think i had the talent for drawing. i started studying japanese and bullet journaling, bc i had the urge to draw, and those were the mediums that were close enough to drawing i felt i could try. and then hannibal happened, i had a roommate who was learning to watercolor, and i was like, screw it, let me draw hannigram bc i love them lol ive had the opportunity to make some movies, but logistically and creatively, they never felt as good as having the spark of inspiration, sketching, linearting, painting, printing and selling these tiny ass stickers. there is some control freakness in that, sure lol but there's also a need to build confidence in my own abilities, which sadly i didnt have a space for in movie sets... anyway, ill always mourn not having spent my teens drawing, but im making my kid self proud now <3 also i might post my new stickers at some point, i still havent made a pinned post lol but someday, you know so yeah, if anyone's reading this, ty lol TLDR: if you draw, write, sculpt, whatever, anything, and you tend to do fanart, ask yourself if you're fanarting a bit too much, if there's a way of turning your love for these characters/worlds into something different and more you.

[vermanaward]

dawntrail msq, 90-91

on its own i quite dig the jazz theme in tuliyolal but like. jazz? rly?

also. the only other place in this game with jazz is. amnesis anyder. just saying.

'so the north continent was dad's, and the south one was mom's, and the gap between is when mom slammed dad through the floor during a spat' 'hey that sounds like OUR mom and dad' man. you know what in this sort of fantasy work i would like Just Once for the protagonist to Not hail from not just the one culture/geographical region where the not-actually-gods came from but the subset of people who are Annoying At Every Possible Juncture about how They Know The Real Version Of This Story granted that wouldn't improve it any (imagine going to a remote country and they were like. 'oh yeah your mom and dad sound a lot like ours. so here's what Really happened'.) but it'd at least be a change of pace

anyway im calling it now. first promise was grown in a tube or something. where is this kid's mother anyway, huh.

(actually i'm getting. z-nos parallels from him. heir to a foreign throne, possibly grown in a tube, hankering for violence, conspicuously absent mother. pls let this be some standard issue appo overthinking)

hanu

if there's not an obscure sidequest at some point where i can do the moonlift dance for the hanu i'm going to be. unsurprised but also sad

oh. their fertility deity is an amaurotine Creation. (is it supposed to be calling back to quetzacoatl?? iirc neither the irl one nor the ff version have ever been associated much with fertility, but.) cool cool

oh cool we're teaching them about their own traditions cool cool

wuk lamat is getting hard carried by alphinaud's braincell and that's just sad

we're going to solve all our problems by having a party. and somehow it worked. okay.png

"nightworld silver piece" wasn't tha.t aren't those from norvrandt? huh???

pelupelu

oh, okay. so even disregarding what i know from plls: the golden city is up the tallest mountain, and valigarmanda is what's waiting for us behind the seal that lamat's dad put in place. that's where this is going right?

everyone pointedly looking at alphinaud when the warnings about canny traders comes up. never gets old

even erenville gets in on it and surely nobody told him that story. after all, people never talk off camera. he just Knows alphy is that Oblivious Rich Kid

why is it though that every time we run into 'traders' that aren't actively hostile the game contorts itself to be all like yeah they're Honest And Shit they're just Really Enthusiastic About Profit

i mean i know why but

erenville for dawn servant. tbh

..hm. you know it's. very {hmm} that like. of the four candidates, the two of them who are mamool ja are both 1. dicks 2. who choose the path of violence. meanwhile the catboy chooses the path of being a weird nerd, and the catgirl chooses the power of friendship.

back to tuliyolal

why are we suddenly problem solving for- oh its the deliery questlines okay. time to ignore those until i unlock the 100 scrip vendor

oh okay we're speedrunning this idiot's character arc. thank god

'do you ever feel bad compared to your peers' [looks at parses] [says nothing]

ah fuck this means we infected tural with the house of splendors. pack it up kids

koana really did come down to the docks just for some drama. i bet urianger put him up to this

dungeon 1: ihuykatumu

wait hold up can i force alphinaud to tank please say yes

oh never mind he only has dps or green dps options. boooo

3/4 casual static (2x flex,pct) lf @/tank @/healer @/dps for river journey that will definitely just be a chill float down the water

oh god they're using This Gimmick again it sucked in akademi anyder it still sucks now pls Stop

drowsie is cute. even if its a reskinned goobue

...okay the gear is reskinned pag. i guess? let me dye it already >:(

the colour scheme is nice at least

also the dungeon itself is gorgeous. i have to hand it to the art team

this is just thancred getting back at me for all that time i spend bullying him while levelling trusts huh

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

sorry mutuals this has to be the longest reaction post i have ever done in like 7 years of tumblr sldkjfklsd this episode was just A Lot

-weekly butthurt recall that chibnall beat me in using the faiths in a 13 doctor story and now when i do it in next year in my xena crossover is not gonna seen as clever. damn u chibnall. -”bel’s story” omg what is this.... high concept realness??? im in. -my meta-analysis of "flux is a metaphor for climate change/enviromeltal catastrophe" gets stronger every episode. -SEXU BRONZE DALEKS. love those fuckers. bless them for finally iguring out floating. rip any stairs or swamps that get in their path. -even more irl enviromental collapse parlallels: the fear over right neo nazi factions rising in europe rn. -"my love" is she gay? -these blue time-bees reminds me of the thingies from father's day. miss those cute guys. they never showed up again ): -there's so much color everywhere this season... who knew the end of the world would be so pretty... -the little echo effect of swarm fingers snapping in the recap... ooh yes -the day going to black effect ohhh yesss -im watching the audiodescribed version for the first time and i's really interesting to be honest! im picking up a lot of new vocabulary for the weird things that they describe on screen lol -ooooooohhhhhhh pov of the doctor man!!! im loving this. i have read a lot of fics of people trying to do this, specially this era, and it feels very satisfying how the show is confirming that “high speed” thinking. -”leap and the net will appear, that’s what john buroughs told me” we love 1 little bitch namedropping even in monologue / just to show off to the audience she doesn’t know is there.

-(yes in this case “little bitch” is gender-neutral)

-this effect of the other 3 “falling” into the time storm looked a bit silly tbh dskljfkl and i love jodie but her green-screen acting in this bit.... dsklfjklds well... let’s just say she’s had better moments. -the eu feelings intensify -WHAT IS HAPPENING -I LOVE THIS -INFERNO REALNESS??? -jodie is so beautiful -seriously what is happening -diana get away from him he has a dog husband to come back to >:( -he's so smooth tho i love him. -"you are not ugliest fella in this city" oh no they are cute ): -i hate liking dan this much. how dare this show make me root for someone male straight and white AGAIN. -ohh and his parallels to the doctor’s personality intensify... - -THASMIN REGULAR PEOPLE AU. -ok not quite but i got really excited for a sec sdljkf -all this casual banter is killing me what are ya'll  saying stop speaking so fast. there’s foreigners in the audience. -dan/diane x thasmin parallels -lol this constant "diverse casting for cops" is sure a thing huh. i see through u chibs/bbcs. #acab -the sfx artists are on fire this episode (i hope they got paid well and didn’t have crunch time....) -Right. if all time is bleeding through and things are like, all over the place..., it actually makes a lot of sense lore-wise that weeping angels are over-powered and feasting on everything. it’s not seeming like a pointless bringing of an old monster for fanservice, but actually serves the story a lot if u think about it.good stuff! -i want all these aus omg -mandip in napoleonic era sicfi outfits is doing things to me -wow "grant serpent" doesn't sounds ominous and evil at all vinder. def an organization u can trust. -jodie in black is doing thins to me -NITRO NINE TIME -Ace should have patented that formula smh -13 referring to vinder as "that other lad" cos she doesn't know him yet lollll -once you get the "trick" of how this episode / serial work’s structure works is a little less impressive, but i’m still having fun w/ it and the actual content of the flashbacks. -time storms ldskfjlk THIRTEEN QUICK THROW THIS ALARM CLOCK!!! THE PAST IS COMING OUT OF HER EAR...... -(do ppl still remember that meme? i should find it again man, it was so good slkdjf) -the art desiggggnnnHhhhnggggg -also: something about pyramids and platonic solids and greek mythology./alchemy.. maybe they should have put a dodecahetron instead? pyramds represent fire after all, not the ether/time... (not that they dont look cool but, they could have continued the greek theme!) -RUTH RUTH RUTHTHTRFJKHKJDSLHFLSKJDHFLSDJKHFLSKDJHFLKSJDHFLKJSDHFLKSJDHFLKJSDHF -¨this is my past" HOLY SHIT I JUST GOT THE TIME LOOP IM- THAT'S WHY WE DIDNT HAVE 13'S IN A FLASHBACK IT'S BECAUSE THIS IS HER FLASHBACK AHHH -chibnall have my babies -the absolute disgust when ruth looks at thirteen as realizes she is her reflection.... peak In-Character doctor mood. ("i’m not the woman i used to be, thank god") -(look all i want is 20009809 low-stake stories about thirteen/ruth having a fun two/three // seven/five mutual-repulsion dynamic... is that really asking too much, EU/fic writers. i never asked you for anything) -"pretty smart for a dog" -no but memes aside this is really impressive... like, it's very sophisticated plotting, and the weaving of lore is great... but it's still all about character building for our 4 (5 ) heroes. it’s nice that chibnall keeps that in mind. -that said... this episode is kicking my ESL ass... my brain is spinning trying to keep up ToT -OHHH man. so much backstory. -lol ruth is so done even when she is helping her future self. i love them so much -"you fucked up, me." -dallying. -OHH THE CAPITALIST PIGS IN THEIR FUNNY HATS ARE BACK - im digging the like, subtle horror-vibe of this. the cackling was pretty creepy dslkjf. -honestly this serial is also a great tourist ad for liverpool. just look at that waterfront! woah -this ghostly effect is pretty nice -BEL THE LUPARI ARE FINE DONT WORRY (the retroactive storytelling!!!... chef’s kiss) -the subtle commentary of these alien fuckers (meritocrat cybermen, nazi daleks, supremacist warmonger sontarans, etc) having to be fought even at the end of the world is really y cool. idk what to make of it yet political-messaging-wise but i dig it lol something like... how we have to fight until the end and shit and we have to struggle as long as we are alive and... that's fine... good stuff worth thinking about. -hey there not-brax. -"challenges are temporary, life is constant" -is she a past / future companion? like melanie bush in trial of a time lord? -vinder's story makes me want to replay SW: KOTOR 1+2 so bad. The aesthetic/vibe of this mission is so on-point w/ that game... -ok i think the specific primal horror this story is tapping into is like..., being at work and not knowing what's happening that day or missing an assignment and school lol -SONYA SONYA SONYA SONYA SONYA -bless this confirming a headcanon i didn't even knew i had that, not only is yaz not into any kind of "modern music", she also doesn't like "video-games." ( i love 1 boring-ass bi-mess with no social life). -also im losing my mind at fake-gamer-gurl sonya. -13 is such a sassy asshole to yaz even when she's helping her lol im sorry guys but this is every entertaining dslkjfsdklfj -noooo!!! this was my thing ... i was going to have thirteen take the place of the fates dammit again chibnall ): im gonna have to rewrite the climax of part 3 aghhslkdjf -future memories... eyes emoji -omg omg omg yaz picking up things!! i love you yaz u are so smart even if 13 doesnt see it. -this episode reminds me of how much dw deserves a proper videogame. -ooh they took the "image of an angel is angel" thing! i like. -CLEVER YAZ -"do you want me to be single forever?" i died -"PROTECT YAZ.... and that lad." -division dark-side thirteen/ruth are doing things to me. -"do not underestimate me" put me down as horny *and* confused :D -man division!era swarm was a lot less glittery... it’s like the meta of how each master is very much designed as a foil for "their" doctor lol -also swarm gives tim-shaw such a kicking. -hmm... ‘the passenger’ gives me watcher vibes... -the eu-vibes of this adventure intensifies. -there's so much lore and funky wilderness-era dialogue happening here and it's all nonsense scientifically ... and i love it. -”TIME SHALL NEVER SURRENDER TO SPACE” -which other show gives you dialogue like this honestly? i’ll wait -cartmell is weeping for not coming up with this. -thirteen/ruth using the “forbidden form” of multiverse tech... ohhh yes -not!dan with karvanista laser’s axe :)  dogtp -"YOU AND ME TOGETHER" that’s gay doc -bell is so cute --- she is so gonna die isn’t she ): -i have no idea what ruth!thirteen did but it sure seemed epic, clever and....... ruthless (eyy) -ohh another bit of retroactive storytelling here... now we know how swarm got captured! -”WE SHALL NOT BE CONTAINED” swarm is such a hamm. i love them. nimon serial energy tbh. -i appreciate the continuity of the time storm design being the same as the time vortex this era (as per the opening credits) -also the continuity of the faiths being gold! aka the screwdriver aka the current tardis crysals aka the logo aka thirteen's signature color. we love meaningful and consistent color usage *clap cla*. -”CONVERT THIS CU*Ts” i love her. -7 billion cybermen... are these the parallel earth OG cybermen? from hartnell era? hence the same population as earth? -i love the message of this story: all these civs striving for conquering things-... but there's no point to conquering because the earth/world/universe is all gonna end anyway. good stuff. -*blasts the cyber with a laser* "Love is the only mission.idiot.“ wtf i LOVE her. -(also i rewatched one of my favorite fiive/tegan scenes after the bit with and it was relevant to this moment!) -”stop te recording” ohh shit the guy is gonna betray vinder / do something shady. -i liked the continuity of "recording" motifs connecting the previous bell scene and this storyline. -ppl were right last week man i mean "fray samport"?? these names are such classic who bs lolll -honestly props to chibnall for making me so invested in all these side-characters. vinder u deserve the world son not these corrupt space napoleonic fuckers. -vinder you are an idiot though dslkjf if someone tells you "have you spoken to your family about any of this?" you cant trust them it’s obviously a threat. -idiot slkfjkl -segun has been pretty chill this episode tbh. i noticed a couple moments that could have done with more music... -maybe it's better tho it might have been too much sensory overload skldjf -YESSS DOGGIE -OHhh ho fuck i love this. the temptation of the doctor to see everything... even more torture bc it is yet another “selfish” choice they aren’t even allowed to make... ugh poor bb ): -”WHO ARE YOU??” i love flux. what is anything. who are we? who are you, tumblr user? we don’t really know. -"lost causes are my specialty" <3 <3 <3 -so “THE RAVEGERS” azure and swarm got  introduced by something? meaning there’s a bigger fish behind all this? valeyard? -is she the master? romana? the rani?????? SUSAN??????¡¡¡¡ -"EVERYTHING HAS ITS TIME" ahh my favourite rtd themeeee!!!!! - also again..., climate change fightin' vibes -ahh frog universe vibes. -"it was made. it was placed" more: "humands" didn't cause climate collapse some very powerful people that resist systemic change did. -who knows who this old lady is but she is calling out the doc hypocrisy so obviously, we tan :) -"You dont understand anything" maybe if you told her things... jackass....??? -man im so into this arc. so good. -ohhh--- the first few chords of thirteen's theme in this scene suddenly interrupted with the "this is bad happenings" music... i see u segun. i see u. -"WE'RE GONNA STOP YOU" (crickes) dan i love you you absolute madlad. -dude the constant parallels and all the “romantic  love beating the odds” framing and thirteen just not getting it and yaz subtle side glance... dare i say.... #thasminendgame. -swarm has a little pig nose. -aghh the reflection thing coming back again!! cinematographyyy -hehe another "vinder as yaz's companion" moment. so cute. -dan has known the doctor for like 2 day but it’s like he has speed-run through an entire companion arc lol -thirteen like HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THINGS dsslkfjlksd ass!!! -i feel like yaz might die / sacrifice herself by connecting some dots before the doctor and thirteen is gonna realize it only too late and she's gonna feel like a complete idiot for the rest of her fourteenth incarnation. -(sigh of relief) ohhhh god bless. vinder isnt yaz's endgame dslfjsdkl good for him vinder/belll otp let them reunite and have a million little tamagotchis :) i do not have an ulterior agenda for this :)))) -”and YOUR URBORN CHILD AS WELLLLL” slkdjfkld this is so cheesy i love it. -oh no ): i dont like where this is going.... -omg i love this cheesy grease summer loving effect... what is doctor who if not intellect and ROMANCE over brute force and cynicism? -if im gay and you are gay then who is that angel piloting this plane

[iam93percentstardust]

Any kidfic recs where they have a lil kid but not a teenager? 🥰 Love ya!

Definitely! Kidfics tend to be very hit or miss for me since child development can be very hard to get right but the ones that I do like, i tend to positively love and frequently reread

You didn’t specify a ship so I went with Stevetony, Winteriron, and Stuckony, but I’ve separated them by ship so you can easily pick and choose which ones you want to read:

Stevetony

Of Strippers and Snow Shovels by @betheflame

Tony has some questions about what Peter's dad does for a living after Peter draws an ... interesting picture about why his dad is his hero.

Practically Perfect in Every Way by @betheflame and @hogwartstoalexandria

Tony Stark is a lot of things - billionaire, former playboy, professional philanthropist - but a few years back he added two more titles: widower and single father. As Peter keeps growing, Tony can't seem to keep a nanny. Thankfully, his employee James Barnes has a solution.

Art therapist Steve Rogers is really tired of living grant cycle to grant cycle, but is wary when he gets an opportunity from his best friend's boss to be his child's live-in caregiver. He hates Bucky's boss. But then he meets the kid and then he gets to know Tony and then...

And then they all live happily ever after.

Rockabye by @bladeofthenebula27

Cute alphas didn’t appear out of nowhere to help ruined omegas. That was a widely accepted fact.

Tony Stark had always known his life wouldn’t be easy as a genius omega in an alpha’s world. But not even he predicted getting knocked up and forced to move to a small town in the middle of nowhere.

Some things can’t be hidden by @s-horne

“What?” Peter sat up in the booth, suddenly alert. “Dad, what is it?” He followed Tony’s eyes right to a man in the doorway of the restaurant. A big, blond and young man that even Peter could admit was attractive.

“Is that him?” Peter asked. “He’s young.”

“He’s 32,” Tony argued, though he was still pale and didn’t shift his gaze.

“Have you actually seen proof of age? Because he looks young, Dad. Like not that much older than my age. Have you checked his ID? There are some good fakes out there, just warning you.”

“Will you be quiet?” Tony hissed, lifting his hand and waving to the man. “He is perfectly legal, thank you very much.”

Peter watched as the guy lit up as soon as he noticed Tony, awkwardly dodging the lunchtime crowds as he tried to make his way over to their table.

“Hi,” he said when he reached them, a beaming smile on his face. He made a motion to kiss Tony before his eyes flickered to Peter and he changed his course, pressing his lips to Tony’s cheek instead and stepping away quickly.

Adventures in Babysitting by @s-horne

Bucky babysits Peter for the first time on his own. There are cuddly toys, tears, cupcakes, and bedtime stories.

It Takes a Village (or a team of superheroes) by aven_garde

Three months after the Chitauri attack, Tony received a phone call that changed his life. (Or, the one in which a group of remarkable people come together and balance battling villains and raising a child).

In Trouble Deep by @festiveferret and @sirsapling

"Whoever did this has a reason, and Stark needs to be with someone who can protect him. He won’t exactly be able to protect himself like this.” Fury looked at the baby consideringly. “No, it’s you, Steve. Besides, he likes you. Suck it up, soldier, you’re stuck with him.”

Tony, Please by @festiveferret

Steve is doing just fine nursing a painful crush on his most captivating client. That is, until his babysitter has an emergency and drops Steve's six-year-old daughter off at his work. Somehow, everything goes off the rails.

like-like by nanasekei

Morgan doesn’t really know Captain America.

And honorable mention cause even though it’s just a pregnancy fic right now, I’m holding out hope for a sequel with a baby:

Baby’s Breath by @s-horne

Wow. Tony’s mind went blank when his eyes moved involuntarily and focused in on where Nurse Rogers was pointing something out on the computer screen. It was nothing, really. It was a blob roughly the size of a jelly bean. The picture wasn’t even clear. It was black and white and so ridiculously grainy that Tony couldn’t see clearly.

Oh. Actually, the reason he couldn’t see clearly was because of the tears in his eyes.

“Wow,” he said, voice breaking on the short words. “That’s…”

“Your baby. Right here.”

Tony fell silent again, just taking it all in. That was his baby. His child. A whole little person living inside of him, ready to grow and stretch and make his body do all kinds of weird things. Nine months of his baby inside of him and then eighteen years of them living in Tony’s house.

Somehow, it already didn’t seem like long enough. Seeing it on a screen wasn’t enough either. Tony wanted to reach out, to trace the tiny image with his fingers and try and feel what little extra he couldn’t inside of him.

After a long moment, he licked his lips. Shit. He was having a baby.

“Steve would love this,” he breathed out.

Winteriron

High Noon in Sandbridge (part of the Nights in Sandbridge series and does rely on some of the other works in the series, so make sure you read those first if you haven’t already) by @tisfan and @27dragons

Life is pretty good for Bucky and Tony these days. The restaurant is doing well, and they’re happy with their little family. Then Bucky’s sister meets an untimely end and Bucky and Tony are suddenly guardians to a niece they’ve only met a handful of times. Their attempts to make a home for the bereaved child are complicated by Tony's mother, Bucky’s ex-lover, and the man who claims to be Billie’s father. But whatever her parentage, Billie is a Barnes through and through -- stubborn and hot-tempered and not remotely interested in making a life in the one place that her mother had sworn never to return. Will she ever learn to call Dockside and Sandbridge home?

Place in Your Heart by potrix

They try to hide it, Bucky can see the effort they all put into making him more comfortable, but Bucky isn’t stupid, he knows they’d rather have him somewhere else, somewhere far away from their home, the place where they’re supposed to feel happy and safe.

The Long Way Round by potrix

“Maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore,” Tony blurts out in a rush. “It’s—I think it’s for the best. If we stop.”

It takes a moment for the meaning of the words to register, but when it does, Bucky turns cold, stomach sinking. “Are—are you breakin’ up with me? Tony—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Tony hurries to reassure, reading Bucky’s mind. “You were perfect, Bucky, I swear you were. Are. This. It’s not. It’s really not you,” he says with a small, humourless chuckle, “it’s me.”

Bucky looks at the tense line of Tony’s shoulders, at the sad set of his mouth, the defeat in his eyes, and he knows it’s the truth. Or, at least, what Tony believes to be true.

 Or; sometimes, people mean well, but that doesn't always mean they know best. Bucky and Tony, unfortunately, have to learn that the hard way.

Letters to a Soldier by CityofAngels

When Peter Stark, son of the famous tattoo artist Tony Stark, signed up for a program to write letters to a soldier, he didn't know what Bucky Barnes would change in his and his father's life...

Boys Will Be Boys by NotEvenCloseToStraight

When Peter and Harley can't stop fighting at school, Dad!Tony and Dad!Bucky meet up to try and figure out a way to keep the peace between their kiddos, but end up falling for each other instead.

Stuckony

‘Til the End of the Line by Avengers_Whore

“Steeeeeve!”

“There’s the lil devil now,” Bucky murmured fondly. “Lemme see ‘im.”

Steve laughed and nodded his head, walking out of the kitchen and heading towards the bedroom. He opened the door and sighed when their omega was nowhere in sight on the bed. He made his way towards their closet and opened the door, pointing his phone at the brunet curled up in all of the clothes.

Fennel Root & Super Soldiers by @betheflame

Peter hasn't stopped crying for weeks and Tony is nearly at his whit's end. Thankfully, Steve and Bucky have a plan.

Forging Bonds by Huntress79

Just when Tony thought that his relationship with Steve and Bucky is safe and stable, he learns of a son he apparently has. How will “his” soldiers react to the sudden addition to the household?

[haissitall]

can i talk about technoblade design situation at length because i have this very weird hill to die on? thanks. im going to be blunt so feel free to hate me afterwards

so technoblade himself said something along the lines that he prefers the fanart of his persona as a pig rather than a human version. now i’ve drawn him as a pig from my day one in the fandom, and i have been saying that i prefer this type of design over any other. let me rant about why before i move on to talk about this situation in particular.

so my issue with the majority of people drawing him as this conventionally attractive anime boy when his skin is a full-on anthropomorphic pig is that it reveals lack of imagination and desire to push boundaries and take risks. it goes both for the technical side of it (people crying out “oh no, will i have to learn how to draw a new thing?!” after technoblade’s remark is so funny to me like. yea... sometimes you have to learn how to draw new things..) and uh, conceptual side, which is more important. you see, it is a sign of inability to imagine characters as anything other than conventionally attractive. like, yes, it doesn’t fit the original design of the skin, it doesn’t fit the personality and the vibe and it makes him look a generic boy #1036... but we get to make him pretty and that’s all that matters. i mean, sure, you can say that i am being very mean and drawing is hard and yadda-yadda, and that the pig design just doesn’t fit the style of the artists, but let me prove that this is a deeper issue. consider fanfiction. in fanfiction you can have the character look anything you want! but when was the last time you’ve read a fic where he’s a pig? i’m sure there are a few of them out there, but they are clearly in a minority, just like the fanart. and maybe even more so! i’ve skimmed through fics where the sci-fi or fantasy setting would totally, one hundred percent justify him having a pig head without having to come up with any explanations for that, but it still was the same old... pink hair. thin. a handsome face. maybe weird ears and fangs, but that makes him more of an elf-vampire than a pig. now... why is that? i’m sure with some fics explanations can be found in the plot as to why in this Particular Fic he is human, but with such overabundance of human techno... we all know why. let me repeat. the inability to imagine characters as anything other than conventionally attractive. even when he is supposedly a half-pig monster with his ears and tusks he is still thin. because, you know, pigs are known for being thin, graceful animals.

with all that said i kinda cringe at how the fandom reacts to things like this. how people on twitter are like (half-jokingly, obviously) but still saying that they have to draw him differently now because he mentioned that he prefers another design... guys. if you like your anime boy techno, stick with it, own it. why do you care so much what he prefers? his content is an inspiration for us, sure, but it’s our art. he’s not our boss. just like me, a random person, rambling about how your design sucks won’t stop you from drawing it, so shouldn’t technoblade’s vague preference. i understand that a lot of the reactions are overblown for comedic purposes, but it's in the same vain as this whole culture of the fandom craving validation from creators and religiously catching every word they say about fandom activities.

(now that we are talking about this can i go off on a tangent about how easy the artist community is to take advantage of? he says “hey guys draw me some cool fanart thanks :)” and people draw these amazing pictures which must’ve taken hours of labour so he can feature them on his stream. now did he like... pay anything for them? does he pay anything to the people whose pictures he uses for thumbnails? the person whose picture he now uses as a stand by screen? or is this “paying in exposure” thing? he granted them his validation and attention, so they should be happy with giving him free content (which they’ve spent hours on making) for his videos off which he profits? now, i don’t really know. maybe he does pay them, and i am wrong and a fool. but if he doesn’t... thumbnails are so important for a youtube video to do good and if he gets to grab them for free because he has an army of dedicated and talented fans to exploit... hmmmmm)

so anyway. i understand how it seems like he is the target audience for fanart if you are posting it on twitter and stuff. and there’s nothing wrong with being excited for his interactions and drawing for his thumbnails and all that, i mean, i’ve tried doing it myself, and might try again. i'm saying that the tendency of the fandom to take everything the creator says as if it’s taken from a scripture with which they have to align their creativity seems awkward to me. like i said, he’s not your boss. unless he is commissioning you to draw a thing (which he probably isn’t).

[stumbleintothesun]

Life Rant

For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.

Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.

I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...

And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.

But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.

So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.

But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.

This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.

It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.

Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.

I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.

I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.

I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.

But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.

This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.

[kingjasnah]

Is there the full list of brandersons favourite games reposted somewhere?

i dont think so? or not that ive seen. u can literally just sign up for the newsletter on his website but screw it ill just post them for u. it sure was a TRIP scrolling past these to get to the interlude though. undertale is on this list.....im shakign at the thought that adolin was based off ff10 tidus but i cant get it out of my head now

#10: Katamari Damaci

I love things that make me look at the world in a new way. Katamari did this in spades. It is an imaginative, bizarre vision with unique gameplay. It is like nothing else in the world and I love it for all its strangeness and occasional lack of gameplay polish.

I was transfixed the first time I played it, and have looked forward to it being remade and rereleased on multiple different consoles. I love the cute—and somehow creepy at the same time—storyline. It feels like a fever dream more than a game sometimes, and is probably the closest I’ll ever get to understanding what it’s like to do drugs.

#9: Undertale

This is an oddball on this list because I think it’s the only game that is not a franchise from a major studio—but is instead an indie game, which I believe was originally funded on Kickstarter.I loved how this felt like a novel as much as a game. It was one person’s vision; a single story told really well, with a huge amount of personality. The humor was just my kind of wonderful/terrible, and I was instantly enamored with the characters.That probably would have been enough, but it is a nice deconstruction of video games as a medium—and has not one, but multiple innovative gameplay mechanics. Together, the package left me enamored. This is a work of genius that I feel everyone should at least try, even if it ends up not being for them.

#8: Fallout: New Vegas

I have played all of the core Fallout games, and I was one of the (it seems few) who was really excited when it moved from turn-based tactics to first-person shooter. While Fallout 3 was good, it didn’t have the charm of the first two.New Vegas delivered on everything I was hoping to see. The charm was back, the writing sharp, the quests imaginative. The gameplay was engaging and branched in a variety of directions, the gunplay was solid, and the atmosphere immersive. I of course love the first two games in the series—but New Vegas combines everything I like in gaming into one package. (As a note, I own the Outer Worlds, and am looking forward to digging into it. Consider this item on the list a recommendation of other Obsidian games—like Knights of the Old Republic Two—regardless of genre, as I’ve found them universally to be superior to their contemporaries.)

#7 Super Mario World

When I was eleven, I flew (alone, which was very exciting to me) from Nebraska to visit my uncle Devon in Salt Lake City. Before I left, my father gave me $200 and told me to pay for my own meals while on the trip—but of course, my uncle didn’t allow this. At the end of the trip, I tried to give him the money, which he wouldn’t take.I mentioned my dad would take the money back when I got home, but that was okay. Well, my uncle would have none of that, and drove me to the local mall and made me spend it on a Nintendo Entertainment System. (This uncle, you might guess, is an awesome human being.)Since that day of first plugging it in and experiencing Mario for the first time, I was hooked. This is the only platformer on the list, as I don’t love those. But one makes an exception for Mario. There’s just so much polish, so much elegance to the control schemes, that even a guy who prefers an FPS or an RPG like me has to admit these are great games. I picked World as my favorite as it’s the one I’ve gone back to and played the most.

#7: The Curse of Monkey Island (Monkey Island 3)

I kind of miss the golden age of adventure gaming, and I don’t know that anyone ever got it as right as they did with this game. It is the pinnacle of the genre, in my opinion—no offense to Grim Fandango fans.This game came out right before gaming’s awkward teenage phase where everything moved to 3-d polygons. For a while after, games looked pretty bad, though they could do more because of the swap. But if you want to go see what life was like before that change, play Monkey Island 3. Composed of beautiful art pieces that look like cells from Disney movies, with streamlined controls (the genre had come a long way from “Get yon torch”) and fantastic voice acting, this game still plays really well.This is one of the few games I’ve been able to get my non-gamer wife to play through with me, and it worked really well as a co-op game with the two of us trying to talk through problems. It’s a lovingly crafted time capsule of a previous era of gaming, and if you missed it, it’s really worth trying all these years later. (The first and second games hold up surprisingly well too, as a note, particularly with the redone art that came out a decade or so ago.)Also, again, this one has my kind of humor.

#6: Breath of the Wild

I never thought a Zelda game would unseat A Link to the Past as my favorite Zelda, but Breath of the Wild managed it. It combined the magic of classic gameplay with modern design aesthetic, and I loved this game.There’s not a lot to say about it that others haven’t said before, but I particularly liked how it took the elements of the previous games in the series (giving you specific tools to beat specific challenges) and let you have them all at once. I like how the dungeons became little mini puzzles to beat, instead of (sometimes seemingly endless) slogs to get through. I liked the exploration, the fluidity of the controls, and the use of a non-linear narrative in flashbacks. It’s worth buying a Switch just to play this one and Mario—but in case you want, you can also play Dark Souls on Switch... (That’s foreshadowing.)

#5: Halo 2

Telling stories about Halo Two on stream is what made me think of writing this list.I’m sometimes surprised that this game isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be. Granted, the franchise is very popular—but people tend to love either Reach or games 1 or 3 more than two. Two, however, is the only one I ever wanted to replay—and I’ve done so three or four times at this point. (It’s also the only one I ever beat on Legendary.)It’s made me think on why I love this one, while so many others seem to just consider it one of many in a strong—but in many ways unexceptional—series of games. I think part of this is because I focus primarily on the single-player aspects of a game (which is why there aren’t any MMOs on this list.) Others prefer Halo games with more balanced/polished multiplayer. But I like to game by myself, and don’t really look for a multiplayer experience. (Though this is changing as I game with my sons more and more.)I really like good writing—which I suppose you’d expect. But in games, I specifically prefer writing that enhances the style of game I’m playing. Just dumping a bunch of story on me isn’t enough; it has to be suited to the gameplay and the feel of the game. In that context, I’ve rarely encountered writing as good as Halo 2. From the opening—with the intercutting and juxtaposition of the two narratives—to the quotes barked out by the marines, the writing in this game is great. It stands out starkly against other Halo games, to the point that I wonder what the difference is.Yes, Halo Two is a bombastic hero fantasy about a super soldier stomping aliens. But it has subtle, yet powerful worldbuilding sprinkled all through it—and the music...it does things with the story that I envy. It’s kind of cheating that games and films get to have powerful scores to help with mood.The guns in Two feel so much better than Halo One, and the vehicles drive far better. The only complaint I have is that it’s only half a story—as in, Halo 2 and 3 seem like they were one game broken in two pieces. And while 3 is good (and Reach does something different, which I approve of in general) neither did it for me the way Two did, and continues to do.

#3: Final Fantasy X

You probably knew Final Fantasy was coming. People often ask if the way these games handle magic was an influence upon me. All I can say is that I’ve played them since the first one, and so they’re bound to have had an influence.On one hand, these games are really strange. I mean, I don’t think we gamers stop quite often enough to note how downright bizarre this series gets. Final Fantasy doesn’t always make the most sense—but the games are always ambitious.Ten is my favorite for a couple of reasons. I felt like the worldbuilding was among the strongest, and I really connected with the characters. That’s strange, because this is one of the FF games without an angst-filled teen as the protagonist. Instead, it has a kind of stable happy-go-lucky jock as the protagonist.But that’s what I needed, right then. A game that didn’t give me the same old protagonist, but instead gave me someone new and showed me I could bond to them just as well. Ten was the first with full voice acting, and that jump added a lot for me. It has my favorite music of the series, and all together is what I consider the perfect final fantasy game. (Though admittedly, I find it more and more difficult to get into turn-based battle mechanics as I grow older.)

#2: Bloodborne

Those who follow my streams, or who read other interviews I’ve done, probably expected this series to be at or near the top. The question wasn’t whether Souls would be here, but which one to pick as my favorite.I went with Bloodborne, though it could have been any of them. (Even Dark Souls 2—which I really like, despite its reputation in the fandom.) I’ve been following FromSoftware’s games since the King’s Field games, and Demon’s Souls was a huge triumph—with the director Hidetaka Miyazaki deserving much of the praise for its design, and Dark Souls (which is really just a more polished version of Demon’s Souls).As I am a fan of cosmic horror, Bloodborne is probably my favorite overall. It really hit the mix of cosmic and gothic horror perfectly. It forced me to change up my gameplay from the other Souls games, and I loved the beautiful visuals.I am a fan of hard games—but I like hard games that are what I consider “fair.” (For example, I don’t love those impossible fan-made Mario levels, or many of the super-crazy “bullet hell”-style games.) Dark Souls is a different kind of hard. Difficult like a stern instructor, expecting you to learn—but giving you the tools to do so. It presents a challenge, rather than being hard just to be hard.If I have a problem with Final Fantasy, it’s that the games sometimes feel like the gameplay is an afterthought to telling the story. But in the Souls games, story and gameplay are intermixed in a way I’d never seen done before. You have to construct the story like an archeologist, using dialogue and lore from descriptions of in-game objects. I find this fascinating; the series tells stories in a way a book never could. I’m always glad when a game series can show off the specific strengths of the medium.In fact, this series would be #1 except for the little fact that I have way too much time on Steam logged playing...

#1: Civilization VI

This series had to take #1 by sheer weight of gameplay time. I discovered the first on a friend’s computer in the dorms my freshman year—and I can still remember the feeling of the birds chirping outside, realizing I’d been playing all night and really should get back to my own dorm room.That still happens, and has happened, with every game in the series. I have a lot of thoughts on this series, many of them granular and too specific for this list. (Like, it’s obvious AI technology isn’t up to the task of playing a game this complex—so could we instead get a roguelike set of modifiers, game modes, etc. to liven up the games, rather than just having a difficulty slider that changes a few simple aspects of the game?)I’ll try not to rant, because I really do love this game series. A lot of people consider IV to be the pinnacle of the series, but after V unstacked units—and VI unstacked cities—there was no way I could ever go back. If for some reason, you’ve never played this grand patriarch of the 4X game genre, it’s about starting with a single stone-age settler who can found a city—then playing through eras of a civilization, growing your empire, to try to eventually get offworld with a space program. (Or, if you prefer, conquering the world.)It’s a load of fun in the way I like to have fun, and I feel like the series has only gotten better over the years. My hat is off to the developers, who keep reinventing the series, rather than making the exact same game over and over.Now, about that request for difficulty modes...

there are runner ups but for the sake of anyone whos on mobile and cant get past a read more (first of all omg im SO sorry) ill refrain. anyway he thought WHAT loz game was the best before botw?

[maxanite]

From the way this will sound and for those that know me, this might sound like a bit of a late realization. But they always say that it's never too late to learn something new right? I've been drawing my entire life. Digitally for only about five or six years now. There's a lot of reasons I draw, and more will come and go. I like to think I have a very active imagination, one that's helped me grow ideas and concepts for a lot of projects and people. It's a gift, as well as a burden sometimes. But at the end of the day I never take for granted the skill I've gained over years of practice. Of course I still have a very long way to go, as I am only 17. And at this age I am constantly hearing "what are you gonna do with your life?" and variations of said question. It was only recently I had realized I wanted to keep doing art as a career because...well I cant see myself doing anything else. I love technology and computers, but the profession intimidates me with the kind of people that dominate it. There's other things I could do but...art stands out as something I am known for. I'm the art friend in most of my friend groups. I'm the person that talks more in art channels than in general chats. I flock to other artists and others flock to me. I crave validation for my work, a small side-effect of the internet of course. But it was only today I realized something. When I sat down at my desk, turned on my drawing tablet whose screen had become blurry with pen scratches, whose buttons had a bit of sweat and oil caked into them, I realized I loved doing this. Theres a feeling I get when I draw, even when Im just sketching or even thinking about drawing, that I dont get anywhere else from anything else. There's a sense of joy, of inspiration, of....pride, maybe? That comes from doing what I do best. I'm not sure why and I can't believe it took me this long to acknowledge that I love to draw. I always say this, of course, but I really do mean it. No matter how much I complain or how much I talk about the trials and tribulations of being an artist- it really is such an amazing thing to be. To look down on any peace of work, no matter how much I hate it, and be able to say that i made this. I put in the work, the hours, the sweat and oil just to make this fictional character exist. It's something thousands, even millions of people do. But not a single brushstroke in the universe is the same. And yeah, being an artist DOES suck sometimes. Especially when you put all this work out and are given nothing in return. But I think now I'm realizing I don't need anything in return. It's like a high. When I start to draw with an idea in mind, with anything at all, I just cant put the pen down. There will be days I will have to, of course, but the days where I can draw on end and pump out piece after piece...those are the days I feel the happiest. Those are the days I truly feel satisfied with my craft. I'm an artist whether I like it or not. I like to think I'm living through my Great Grandma's eyes. She was an artist too. Her paintings are hung up around our home. I still have her old tacklebox full of paintbrushes that I'll probably never use. But I still feel like art is my calling and I can't ever stop. Maybe one day when I make something amazing, that it'll be hung up in my grandchildren's home too. Maybe it'll skip a generation again and they'll be artists just like me. And be able to get the same indescribable feeling I get when I make something that is wholly, uniquely, and completely me.

[bileshroom]

how do you feel about the new sally face chapter?

Im glad you asked! under a read more for spoilers for chapter 5

Myself and Fox are giving our opinions in this post so it will be very long

There were things i really liked and things i really didnt like

for example, the swapping dimensions and the changing art styles were very neat! i liked some more than others, like the rubber hose style for sal could of been a bit different in my opinion, @shinysnek did an edit/drawing and tweeked the tiniest thing and made the design alot more palatable 

and the minigames were… really repetitive and sometimes very confusing ? esp todds door, the plus’s were almost impossible to notice! slightly darker grey against light grey just makes it look like part of the door :/ and the 3d bits were a bit hard to control during the later part of the game

and the writing,, it felt super rushed as if he just wanted to saddle alot of the damage onto native americans??? that completely came out of the blue, like he couldnt come up with some sort of cop out for why the cult is doing what they do

and still with the weird queer baiting with larry? like he made them brothers but is still pushing it, if steve wanted sal’s love interest to be ash why not have moments like ‘that’ with her instead?? it feels very uncomfortable in my opinion especially with him saying he was still,,comfortable with the ship which REALLY rubs me the wrong way

and the ending,,, dont even,, TALK to me about the ending, it honestly made me so upset?? like, and the epilogue to go with it,,, like okay cool the worlds still fucked over and todds still corrupt and larrys just gone??? for no real reason???????? hes just gone :| okay 

gnome larry was funny tho, didnt really explain why Larry got super old while megan stayed a 7 year old, i suppose you can explain it with like when ghosts arent bound to a place they can wither and age? i dunno whatever chapter 5 sucked and it felt like steve just didnt want to do it anymore

—

my turn! alright im going to be typing my opinion from a fellow writer and programmer’s POV.

the beginning of the game kinda drops you in which was a little surprising, considering the other chapters were very rich with exposition which is one of the things i loved about SF. 

It had this way of bringing you in even though you didnt know what the heck was going on. It made you want to learn more and it felt like you were THERE with sal. 

But this opening with just… ash tossed in fell a little… flat. yeah… graveyard… lets toss in some epitaphs as a reminder of who died, ok… cool. 

next lets talk a little about the general story. im not going to lie, this felt like a TOTALLY different game to me and I played them all in succession again to remind myself of the other chapters. 

It was so… plain. It didnt have the eerie-ness of the bologna incident, it didnt have the intriguing mystery of the first chapter where it started you off in the hospital as a little boy with your face hidden, it didnt have that heart wrenching storyline of the 4th chapter.

it was just…. “i need to end this game quick”. 

there was just a unique feeling to the other chapters, something that made you feel gritty and floaty, like you were a dirty teenager hunting for ghosts.

Saddling the natives on the unexplained reason as well… BIG YIKES, steve. the silent hill movies pulled this crap too, and we can all see how flat that fell in comparison to the actual silent hill 3 game. 

There are so so many things you could do instead of that tired (and lets face it) racist stereotype. 

I thought it was going to have a deeper meaning, like… people have had cults for decades that didnt have to do with the natives. hell, he could have even kept with the weird alien theme he was going for. calling an ancient alien creature? that would be pretty badass.

The ending… fell disappointingly flat. ok… everyones dead? so you tortured sal and his pals for literally no reason? granted i didnt press the c4 button so im not sure how that path goes, but i doubt its any more satisfying. 

not to mention the constant queerbaiting that, at this point, makes me so uncomfortable.

yes we get it, steve. you think adopted brothers can fuck, and yeah, theres nothing TECHNICALLY wrong with it (and im using technically by definition, its still wrong in my eyes), but come on. can any of you tell me that wouldnt make you intensely uncomfortable? Its not ok what he did imo and i know its his characters, but steve? either dont make them brothers or stop fucking pushing their romantic interactions.

oh and lets talk about the only other canonly gay couple with any screen time! he killed the black one.

yep… just… let that sink in for a second. did he need to? absolutely not. at least not in such a pointless way.

didnt even give neil any character development tbh, just… token black gay man that needed to be there to be the motivator to search for todd. ok thanks, steve.

and travis (another not white character. no do not argue that hes “blonde”, sal has fucking blue hair and i WILL color pick travis if i have to). he was the other gay character who… yep, lemme look at my notes… died.

he didnt even get much of a redemption tbh, yeah he was secretly helping them, but… wow. toss him in the hole! we dont want to write gays!!! (unless we’re taunting people to get them to play under the guise of “lgbt representation”)

also larrys a gnome and is just… gone forever. just say you hate larry, steve. you didnt have to do him so dirty man.

now then, lets talk about the gameplay.

i was playing with an xbox controller so im going to be from that POV.

the controls were… ok for the most part. the 3d part was a bit hard to see and i got stuck trying to walk past the trees a lot. 

to be honest, the 3d is my only complaint with controls. the mini game later on where youre 3d and shooting tentacles was very hard to control, half the time it wouldnt move fast enough and the other half it would zip past the diagonals. i DID beat it, but i am a very good gamer. to other people who might not play games constantly, might have a bit more trouble and get frustrated.

the puzzles were bland and repetitive. im a horror puzzle game writer and i would NEVER do something this blasphemous in a horror style game. it removes you from the game to think “wow…. THIS puzzle AGAIN?”. it makes you feel like its insulting your intelligence, like “oh here you go you fucking baby, move the shape to match the other shape”

and one of the only other puzzles was that fucking door number puzzle. he made the pluses almost impossible to see for starts, and i KNOW other people had trouble with this. Wanna know how to fix this? make the pluses easier to see and make it so the input pad can only except the number of numbers that the code it. dont make me sit there like a jackass, typing in every conceivable way to order the numbers given.

all in all though, the gameplay was plain, the storyline was bland, the puzzles were mediocre and the only reason to play the chapter is to close up the story and to find out what happened to sal and his mom (which tbh was the only good part because i was actually surprised and excited that it was that that injured him)

i hope in steves next projects he actually figures out how to write an ending and doesnt rush it (and please keep in mind this was rushed even though he had multiple people helping him)

-fox

[vgckwb]

P5R: Rebel Girl (A FeMC Story/P5R Rework) Chapter 24: Blooming Heroes

On Sunday, Ren was sitting in a booth working on some school work. Sojiro looked at her. “Whatchu up to?” he asked.

“I’m waiting for some friends,” Ren said. “Midterms are coming up, so I figure I’d better study a little.”

Sojiro smiled. “Well it’s nice to see you’re finding a balance.”

Ren didn’t seem amused. “Whatever. I’m just worried that if I don’t do well that’ll be enough for them to flunk me.” She continued to do problems.

“Heh. Fat chance” Sojiro said. Ren was surprised. “I won’t let them.”

“And they’ll take you for your word?” Ren asked.

“Well, I have connections,” Sojiro said. “Although, they can only go so far.”

“I see,” Ren said. She did a few more problems. “So.” Sojiro looked up. “You have connections, and you know people in prison.” Ren set her pencil down. “Just what kind of man are you?”

Sojiro smiled sharply. “If this were a date, I’d tell them ‘I’m one of a kind’. But it’s just a bunch of baggage from my old job.” He sighed.

“You know, if you’re looking to settle, that angle might work” Ren said. Sojiro’s interest was piqued. “‘Oh, I’m not looking for too much excitement. I’m just looking for a nice woman to settle down with.’ People will go for that.”

“Hm. Thanks kid, but I ain’t looking to settle” Sojiro said. “I’m not that kind of person.”

Ren was curious. “So, does that mean you’re actually batting for the other team?” she asked, half joking, half hoping to find some common ground between her and Sojiro.

“What? No” Sojiro said. “It’s just,” he sighed, “the woman I would have done that with… she’s no longer here…”

“Oh. I’m sorry” Ren said.

“It’s OK, you didn’t know,” Sojiro said. “Just more baggage from my old job.”

“You know, that could work for getting ladies too,” Ren added. “You could have them thinking ‘Oooo. He’s so mysterious.’”

“Heh” Sojiro sputtered. “I’ve been there before. Usually when a woman thinks you’re ‘mysterious’ they think it gives them permission to leave nail marks on your back.” Ren looked at Sojiro in disbelief. Sojiro’s face turned red. Ren was about to laugh. “F-Forget I said that!”

The bell rang, mercifully relieving Sojiro from continuing that conversation. “Hey,” Sumire said.

“Oh, hello,” Sojiro said. “Is it just her?” he asked Ren.

“No,” Ren said, hiking a quick blush at the thought of her and Sumire being alone together. “We’re waiting on a few more.”

“I see,” Sojiro said. “Well, have a seat.”

“Oh, thank you,” Sumire said.

“While we’re waiting, Sojiro was just telling me about the kinds of girls he dates,” Ren said.

“No I wasn’t!” Sojiro snapped back. Ren chuckled.

“Um, do you enjoy antagonizing people?” Sumire asked. Ren was shocked. She then felt guilty.

“I let her do it,” Sojiro chimed in. Both of them were surprised. “Partially because I feel I deserve it a little, but partially because she’s in a rough spot and needs to blow off some steam a little.”

“I see…” Sumire said.

“Thanks boss,” Ren said.

Ryuji and Ann walked in. “Sup” Ryuji said.

“Is this everyone?” Sojiro said.

Renn shook her head. “We’re waiting on one more.”

“We are?” Sumire asked. Ren, Ann, and Ryuji were shocked.

The bell rang out one more time. “Hello,” Jose said.

Sojiro was shocked. “Him?” Ren nodded. “But he’s a child?!”

“I may be” Jose said, “but I’m what you call a prodigy. I’m a first year at Kosei. I transferred in just now due to an error in the paperwork.”

Sojiro was befuddled, but everyone else was confused. Ren decided to pick up the ball and roll with it. “Yeah,” she said, gaining everyone’s attention. “He was feeling down about that yesterday when we ran into him. He wanted to do an art project to ease his nerves, so we agreed to help.”

“Um, yeah” Ann said. “It was so interesting to be working with someone like him.”

Sojiro glanced at them. “Heh. I’m impressed. If someone your age can get into Kosei, then you must be impressive.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Jose said.

“Well then, shall we?” Ren said.

“Wait! Are we not doing this here?” Sumire said.

“Oh, no,” Ren said, slightly embarrassed. “I just wanted to meet here because I felt like it was easier for everyone.”

“Oh. I see” Sumire said. The group left to head towards the diner on Central Street.

Morgana popped out of the bag. “Thank goodness you came when you did. I didn’t want to have to hear more about Sojiro’s dating life.”

“Oh, you would have loved it,” Ren said.

“Wait, you were talking about that?” Ryuji asked.

“Um...Is it just me...or is the cat talking?” Sumire said.

Everyone except Jose was surprised. “Did you not know?” Jose said. “Mr. Morgana is a talking kitty.”

“‘Mr…. Morgana…’” Morgana repeated. He smiled. “I like that.”

“You were SO down on him yesterday,” Ryuji pointed out in disgust.

“AHEM!” Ann said, trying to get the conversation back on track. “That’s, um, one of the things that needs explanation” she began. “So, that other world we were in yesterday?” Sumire nodded. “Because you were in that world, you can hear Morgana speak. Otherwise, he sounds like a cat.”

“I see,” Sumire said.

“I’ll explain everyone once we get to the diner,” Ren said. They kept walking.

Once they made it to the diner, they grabbed a booth. They all placed an order, and were waiting.”Um, isn’t this place kind of public to be talking about all this?” Ryuji asked.

“We’re her because it’s public,” Ren explained. “If we don’t scream and shout, people will think it’s just a conversation among friends.”

“Ah. Gotcha” Ryujis said.

“So, while we’re waiting,” Ann said, “do you have any questions right off the bat Sumire?”

Sumire pondered for a second. “Well… I don’t know. There’s just so many things.”

“I see,” Ann said.

“That makes sense,” Ryuji said. “She got flung into this headfirst.”

“Hey” Ren said, placing her hand on Sumire’s. “I promised I would explain everything, so I will.” Sumire nodded. Their food came and they began eating. “This is going to be a lot to take in, are you ready?” Sumire nodded again. “OK.”

Ren took a deep breath. “So. That other world, the metaverse, is basically the collective human unconscious. That figure that had you trapped, Eris, took over that place in an attempt to sew chaos in the real world. For whatever reason, I’ve been tasked with stopping her.

Assisting me thus far, is this guy, Morgana, Ann, and Ryuji. Morgana was created to help me, while Ann and Ryuji stumbled upon this sort of like how you did. Are you with me so far?”

“I think so?” Sumire said. “You’re tasked with using the metaverse to stop that Eris person, and you’re getting help from Ann-senpai, Ryuji-senpai, and Morgana-senpai, right?”

“‘M-Mogana-senpai’” Morgana repeated gleefully.

“Correct,” Ren said. “You seem pretty quick on the uptake.”

“Well, I’ve seen it for myself,” Sumire said. “It’d sound hard to believe if I didn’t experience it first-hand.”

“Right,” Ren said, slightly embarrassed. “Anyways, the way we do this is by stealing desires.”

“Stealing desires…” Sumire repeated. “Wait, but that means-”

Ren nodded. “We are the Phantom Thieves.”

Sumre was taken aback. “Huh.”

“In order to help do that, we’ve been granted the ability of persona, like the one you summoned to break you from captivity” Ren continued. “We have to continue this fight to stop Eris.” Sumire looked worried. “But you don’t.” Sumire looked up. “Whatever you decide is fine. But can you promise not to tell anyone about us?”

Everyone else was shocked. Sumire thought about it. “Well, I promise I won’t say anything…” Everyone else looked at her. “But as for joining up… I’m going to need a bit more time to think about it.”

“And that's fine,” Ren assured her. “After what happened with you, anyone would be hesitant.”

“Well, you aren’t” Sumire pointed out to Ren's surprise. “You were framed for something you didn’t do. You were driven away from your home. You barely had time to process all of this before getting thrust into this mess, and you seem to be doing well enough.”

Ren was shocked. “Oh…”

“Sumire-chan?” Ann asked. “Do you think you have a good grasp of the situation for now?” Sumire nodded. “OK. We’re going to let you think for now. There’s something else we need to discuss. Jose?”

“Yes?” Jose responded.

“...Are you...actually going to Kosei now?” Ann asked.

“Yup” Jose answered.

“How’d you manage to swing that?” Ryuji asked.

“Well, I made up some documents that said I had applied and mad them think they didn’t register me in time” Jose said

“Woah! You faked documents?” Ryuji asked.

“Well, I’m not sure how ‘fake’ they are,” Ann said. “Considering that he’s not from this world.”

“I guess you have a point…” Ryuji said.

“But why Kosei?” Ann asked.

Jose smiled. “Well, I did some research.” He took out a phone. “I bought one of these and looked up a few things. Kosei is a school that offers free lodging to students. So I applied.”

“Wait, isn’t Kosei like an art school or something?” Ryuji asked. “What did you get in with?”

“Flower arranging,” Jose answered.

“I… guess that makes sense,” Ryuji responded.

“So, Jose, I’m assuming we can count on you to join up with the Phantom Thieves from now on?” Ann asked.

Jose nodded. “You’re helping me study humanity. The least I can do is help you with this.”

“Wait, study… humanity?” Sumire said.

“Oh yeah” Ann said. “You weren’t there. Jose isn’t technically human.”

“What?!” Sumire said.

“It’s true,” Jose said.

“I’m not either,” Morgana chimed in.

“Oh, but you’re a cat, right?” Sumire asked.

“I am not a cat!” Morgana said.

“Morgana just has the form of a cat” Ren added. “Much like how Jose has the form of a human.”

“I see,” Sumire said. “Question:” Everyone looked at her. “Does this metaverse thing have anything to do with Shiho-senpai trying to burn down the school?” Everyone was surprised. “It’s just, when she showed me around earlier, she seemed like a completely different person…”

Everyone was a little solemn. “Yeah” Ren answered. “That’s part of Eris’s plan. It’s kind of complicated. Basically what was happening is that some...thing named Yaldabaoth originally set everything up to impose high order. However, Eris defeated Yaldabaoth and converted their plan into her own.

People like Kamoshida have what are called palaces. Essentially, these are areas in the metaverse that are heavily distorted by the people that control them. These were part of Yaldabaoth's original plan.

What Eris is doing is she corrupts people who have an ax to grind with palace rulers so that they will kill them. And that’s what happened with Shiho, and that’s what will continue to happen. So we’re here to put a stop to it.” Ren finished. Sumire was speechless. “Are you OK?”

Sumire slammed her fist on the table. “Count me in!”

Ren was surprised. “Um, what?”

“You heard me!” Sumire insisted. She calmed down. “I’m sorry. It’s just… I did promise to help you after you all helped me out so much.”

Ren looked at her. “You don’t have to-”

“But I want to!” Sumire interjected. “If I’m going to be honest, I…” she gulped. “I wasn’t sure how I felt about the Phantom Thieves when the calling card was posted. I wasn’t sure about this forceful intervention. But I know what it feels like to be at your lowest. To feel so helpless that anything would seem like a good idea.”

Sumire grew determined. “So if that’s what you’re fighting, I want to fight that too! I want to help people because I’ve been there! I know how terrible it can be. I know that you can’t escape on your own. I want to be that light for others.”

Everyone was stunned at Sumire’s convictions. Ren spoke up. “Wow. I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed. If that’s the case, welcome to the team.”

“Oh, thanks,” Sumire said.

“Alright! Now we gotta think up codenames” Ryuji said.

“Codenames?” Sumire asked.

“Yeah” Ann added. “We do it because we don’t want to repeatedly yell our real names in the palaces of those we’re stealing from. Also, it’s kind of fun.”

“I see,” Suire said.

“So, what do you want your codename to be?” Ryuji asked.

“Oh! Um, what are all your codenames?” Sumire replied.

Ren smiled. “Ann is Panther, Morgana is Mona, Ryuji is Skull, and I am Joker.”

Sumire chuckled at Ren saying her codename with gravitas. “How fitting. Oh, but what about Jose?”

“Oh, I don’t have one yet,” Jose answered.

“Yeah, we just found him yesterday,” Ann explained.

“Does he need one?” Ryuji asked. “I mean, we did kind of find him in Mementos.”

“Yeah, but if he’s going to go to Kosei, people will know of him,” Ren explained.

“Besides, I have a codename, and most people think of me as a cat” Morgana interjected.

“Right,” Ryuji said. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine Ryuji,” Jose said. “I can see why you would ask that. But as for a codename, hmmm.”

“What about Florist?” Ryuji asked.

“Mmmmm, I don’t think it fits,” Jose said. “It’s too technical.”

“I like flowers as a motif for you though,” Ann said.

“I guess, but the flowers were just a means to an end” Jose explained. “Personally, I’d like something more themed around light.”

“Light?” Ann asked.

Jose nodded. “I’m wishing to find the light of the truth. I want something that incorporates that.”

“Why not both?” Ren said. “Since flowers need the light of the sun to grow, how about Sunshine?”

“Sunshine, huh…” Jose pondered. “I like it!”

“Alright! Let’s go Sunshine!” Ryuji said.

“So, do you have any ideas Sumire?” Ann asked.

Sumire thought. “Well...a codename feels like I’m hiding my identity.”

“It… Is?” Ryuji said, confused.

“But after living as my sister, I don’t want to hide who I am anymore,” Sumire explained.

“Oh. Right. Sorry” Ryuji apologized.

“I think that’s fine,” Ren said. Everyone was surprised. “We could just call you Violet.”

“Violet?” Sumire said.

“Of course!” Ann said. “Violet is Sumire in English!”

“Violet” Sumire repeated. She smiled. “I like that. A lot.”

“Alright!” Ryuji said. “Now that that’s settled, what now?”

“Well, we need to look into that name Nakanohara gave us,” Morgan reminded them. “Madarame.”

“Right,” Ryuji said.

“Something else has been bugging me too,” Ren said.

“What is it?” Ann asked.

“Well…” Ren began. “When Eris left us yesterday, she said that the chaos she’s sewing will save humanity.”

“Yeah?” Ann said

“But those shadows that tried to stop Jose,” Ren continued, “they seemed like the chaos that was happening would doom humanity.”

“Really?” Ann said.

“So, what does that mean?” Ryuji asked.

“I’m not sure,” Ren said. “It seemed odd, so I thought I would bring it up.”

“So, we have to figure out if that means anything,” Morgana said. He smiled. “Sounds interesting.”

“Oh, right,” Ryuji said. “We should add Sumire and Jose to the group chat.”

“Right,” Sumire said, a little flustered. They all got out their phones and exchanged contact information.

“Alright. Now if we have anything, we can tell each other right away!” Ryuji said. “Now let’s hunt for this Madarame character.”

“Wait!” Sumire blurted. “Um, aren’t midterms coming up?”

Ren smiled. “You’re right. Maybe the best thing to do for now is lay low and focus on that.”

“But...thieving…” Ryuji said.

“Ren’s right. You can't be a thief if you're being punished for not doing well on your exams” Morgana chided.

Ryuji was silent for a moment. “Ugh, FINE! I guess I need to go study.”

“Yeah, I think we all should,” Ann said. “Especially you Ryuji.”

“Look who’s talking!” Ryuji sniped back. “The only thing you’re good at is English!”

“That’s better than not being good at anything!” Ann retorted. She and Ryuji grrred at each other.

“So, I think the plan is clear,” Ren said, trying to get some form of order in this. “Focus on midterms for now, then investigate Madarame. Got that?” Everyone nodded. “Good. I think we can do this.”

“Hell yeah!” Ryuji said. “After all, we have two new members on our side!”

“Right!” Sumire said with enthusiasm.

“Sumire,” Ren said. “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?”

“Of course!” Sumire said.

Ren sighed. “Very well. Welcome aboard Violet. Sunshine.” Everyone nodded.

Fool-The Phantom Thieves: Rank 3

The thieves finished their food and left for their homes.

Ren walked into Leblanc. “Must have been a fun day” Sojiro commented.

“Mm hm” Ren nodded.

“Heh” Sojiro grunted back. He got a little more serious. “You know, even though you didn’t hit that guy, I still think Tokyo might be a better fit for you than your hometown.

Ren was confused. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, well, uh…” Sojiro said. “Your parents gave me a description of you to help me be a better adult for you”

Ren was now curious. “What did they say?”

Sojiro thought for a moment. “Hmmmmm. Well, they told me you were kind of aloof. Disinterested in the world around you. You didn’t seem to like people and kept them at bay. But that seems different from the young lady standing before me. She’s outgoing, sociable, and making friends, even in the unlikeliest of places.”

“I see,” Ren said. I guess I was like that. No one wanted to be my friend or even liked me all that much. So I guess I put on a facade. She looked around Leblanc. I guess what they say is true. Every cloud has a silver lining.

“You know,” Sojiro began, capturing Ren’s attention once more, “this doesn’t just have to be a temporary thing. If you want, I could call your parents and make arrangements to have you stay permanently.”

Ren smiled. “I’ll think about it.”

“Well, it’s your call,” Sojiro said. “I’m gonna head out for the night. Take care.”

“Seeya” Ren said as Sojiro left. Her smile left her face. She then got a message and checked it immediately.

Sumire: Hey everyone.

Ann: What’s up?

Sumire: ...

Sumire: I wasn’t entirely honest with you all.

Ryuji: ??

Ryuji: How so?

Sumire: Well…

Sumire: I do want to help people

Sumre: But I’m also doing this to help myself.

Ren: ??

Sumire: See, I think I haven’t found as much of myself as I thought I had.

Sumire: And I feel like I’m at my best when I’m with you all.

Sumire: Sorry for being so self-indulgent.

Ann: Sumire…

Jose: What’s wrong with that?

Jose: I’m helping the team out of my own self-interest too.

Ryuji: You could have phrased that better dude.

Sumre: Actually, I think I needed that.

Ryuji: Huh?

Sumire: That sort of blunt approach really shook me out of it.

Sumire: I’m feeling better about this

Sumire: Thank you Jose.

Jose: You’re welcome.

Ann: Well, I guess that works.

Ann: But maybe we need to work on that.

Ryuji: Yeah, it’s not an approach that would work with everyone.

Ren: …

Ann: ??

Ann: What’s on your mind?

Ren: Well, I was just thinking…

Ren: Would any of you be my friend if none of this had happened?

Jose: No, but then again, I wouldn’t know you, so the point is kind of moot.

Sumire: OF COURSE I WOULD!

Sumire: Sorry. Sorry.

Sumire: But I would. Yeah.

Sumire: You helped me out when you had no need to.

Sumire: I didn’t even know about all of this stuff until yesterday.

Sumire: So yes.

Ryuji: Wow.

Ryuji: That’s a lot.

Ryuji: But to answer your question, maybe.

Ann: Maybe?

Ryuji: Well, you and her were so buddy buddy.

Ryuji: And we were both still caught up in Kamoshida’s bullshit.

Ann: Right…

Ryuji: But if Kamoshida wasn’t being a piece of shit, then I’d say so.

Ann: I think we’d be friends too.

Ann: You’re very real, and when you’re someone like me, that can be hard to come by.

Jose: I think I’m starting to understand something.

Ren: ??

Jose: You are all kind of similar.

Jose: Which I think is what draws you together.

Jose: The metaverse only served to accelerate this connection.

Ren: Thanks Jose.

Jose: You’re welcome.

Jose: I have to go to bed now.

Jose: I don’t want to be late for my first day.

Sumire: Goodnight Jose.

Ann: I should go too.

Ann: Goodnight.

Ryuji: Same.

Ryuji: G’night everyone.

Ren: Good night.

Ren stood there and smiled at the conversation. “Well well” Eris said. Ren looked up to find the cloaked figure sitting at a booth. “You all compliment each other. How sweet.”

Ren sat down across from her. “What do you want?”

“What, no banter?” Eris asked. “I just came by because I felt some chaos in your heart is all. I want to make sure you’re feeling alright. Or not, and you’d join me.”

“I’m doing just fine,” Ren said. “It’s just a bit of growing pains.”

“Does it usually take the form of chaos?” Eris asked.

“Sometimes” Ren answered. “Life can’t be perfect. It’s how we deal with it that makes us who we are.”

“I see…” Eris said. “And you’d rather deal with it the right way? Why not go hog wild and let your inner beast out?”

Ren paused for a moment. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. If I think only for myself, then I’m no better than the type of people who despise me.”

“What’s that going to get you?” Eris asked. “A handful of friends? A little bit of self-satisfaction? People will still despise you. People will still not respect you. Why not go crazy and MAKE them respect you?”

Ren smiled. “It’s simple. I don’t care.” Eris was shocked. “People can do what they like. As long as I have people I can trust, I don’t care.” Eris was seething. “By the way, maybe you should take some of your own advice.” Eris was curious. “You go on and on about how diving the world into chaos will make everything better for humanity, but some of your shadow friends would beg to differ.”

“Are you saying that those lovely shadows would go against me?!” Eris asked.

“Nope. They’re saying that” Ren replied calmly. Eris was fuming. “And now you see the effectiveness of my approach.” Eris stopped. “Pure chaos can help, but a controlled chaos can be useful too.”

“Oh. I see. You were just trying to teach me a lesson” Eris said. She began laughing. “Of course my lovlies wouldn’t do anything to go against me.”

“Um, no,” Ren said. “They really did say that.”

Eris stopped laughing. “Listen. I have full confidence that my chaos will win you over.”

“And I have full confidence otherwise,” Ren retorted.

“Well, I guess we’ll know who'll win in the end” Eris said.

“Maybe” Ren said. “Or you could surrender now.”

“HA!” Eris said. “I’m not through with you yet! Not by a long shot!”

Hunger-Eris: Rank 2

“Seeya” Eris said. She faded out. Ren started, shrugged, and headed upstairs.

After she put her pajamas on and got into bed Morgana chimed in. “Hey. Like Jose said, we probably wouldn’t have met under normal circumstances. But I think if I were to exist in some way, I think we’d be friends.”

Ren smiled. “Thanks Morgana.” She scratched his chin. Morgana started to pur. “Oh my GOSH YOU’RE PURRING!” She grabbed Morgana and started cuddling him. “You're just the sweetest thing.”

“AK! OK. Can you let me go now?” Morgana asked.

“Yeah,” Ren said. But she didn’t let go. She fell asleep.

Morgana looked at her sleeping face. He considered the fact that he was trapped in her hug. “Well, I suppose there are worse things.” He yawned and promptly fell asleep as well.

[ask-de-writer]

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 29 of 83 : World of Sea

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to World of Sea

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 29 of 83

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

copyright 2020

written 2007

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users   of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may   reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information   remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in   my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical   compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

New to the story?  Read from the beginning.  PART 1 is here

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“Kurin and I were playmates when we were young,” Silor began earnestly. “We didn’t know what Cat was back then.  She was just someone who was always there.  Cat knew lots of good stories about the First Ships.  That’s where it started.  Kurin started asking for more stories and Cat started teaching her apart from the rest of us.

“One night, Kurin’s father died.  He was only twenty nine or thirty. Kurin found him.  Within a short time, her mother went raving mad, then ceased to move or do anything.  She’s still like that. Afterwards, Kurin and Cat, the Dragon, became inseparable.  I think that her parents were a test of Kurin by the Dragon but I’ll never know for sure.

“A little after that, Kurin beat me out of the boat-shop apprenticeship under Master Juris.  I was two Gatherings older and considered likely for the job.  Then, without any explanation, no other Craft on the Longin would have me either.  Her influence was spreading.

“To be fair, I never heard of Cat doing anything evil.  She wasn’t human, so she may not have realized what kind of person she was teaching.

“I became a deck-hand.  I was a good one.  In only one and a half Gatherings I was made lead deck-hand, the youngest ever on the Longin.  Ask anyone, I was well-thought-of, maybe officer material in a few more Gatherings.

“I admit that I fell asleep on watch.  It was only a nap, and I was on duty in the hold.  How much trouble was that?  I’ll tell you.  They stripped me of my lead deck-hand job!  Only three of her lousy crabs died, and they broke me for it!

“Later, I was in a class,” Silor paused, torn between ingrained loyalty and his tale.  “I can’t tell you what the class was about.  That’s Ship’s Business.  The important thing is this.  She was in the class, too.  Captain Mord told me that I was doing well and then threw me out of the class.”

Huh, she thought, hearing this out, If he believes what he’s saying there’s enough emptiness in his head to make a good float out of it.  I’ve heard some of these tales from other sources.  It’s obvious that he’s left out more than he’s told.  “Ye make a start on yer case but i’ t’is come up in t’e Arrakan fleet, ye’d lose.  Oi need more proof.  Especially about t’e fleet bein’ under ‘er control.  Ye’ve nae even addressed t’at.”

“Tanlin, love, I can attest to at least some of what he says.  He first brought the matter to my attention five Gatherings ago, as a lad of nine.  Since then I have watched the surreptitious machinations of Kurin.  She does far more than make toys!”

“Oi fail t’ see ‘t, Barad, m’ luve.  T’e fleet dinnae revolve about ‘er.  She commands nane, nae is she any but kind.”

Silor started to rise up in protest but Barad waved him down.  “That is true.  She is far too clever to put herself in so exposed a position. Why should she take risks when others will do so for her without even knowing that they serve her?  She has real power — — and no need for the trappings of power.”

He appeared to be hit by inspiration.  “Stand up, Silor!”

Mystified, Silor did so.

“There you are, Tanlin, the proof stands before you.”

“Oi’m now confused.  Enlighten m’.”

“Why was he exiled?”

“‘E slept on wotch, w’ich ‘e admits, an’ gave away Ship’s Business.”

“What business did he give away?  I’ll tell you.  He told amusing stories about their crabbing venture, which I grant is a main business for them.  The deadly revelation?  That they had special nets for crabs and knew where to find them.  Both are obvious to anyone who thinks for ten seconds.”

“Oi’m beginnin’ t’ see.  T’is wa’ a mere pretext.”

“Exactly. Once he was ejected from the Longin, his credentials should have gotten him an immediate berth on almost any ship in the fleet.  It didn’t happen.

“I was at the Captains’ Council.  Everyone agreed, even the Longin, that he had done nothing to die for but no ship would save him.  And they agreed that he was worth saving.  Thus, exile.  She rid herself of a nuisance, and no blood shed, nor clue that it was even her doing — — unless one looks at the whole unlikely chain of events.”

“Wy’d ye nae just take ‘im up t’en, like so many ot’ers ye’ve ‘elped?”

“Yes,” said Silor.  “Why did you let me be sent away?”

“Safety,” said Barad solemnly.  “Yours and mine.  You opposed her openly and she determined to have you removed.  That is why the others would not help you.  

“What would have happened to your only refuge if I had opposed her will by taking you openly?  I play the part of buffoon, many laugh at this ship and myself.  Let them.  It keeps her from taking us seriously. That is the only safety that there is.”

“Now Oi see ‘t.  Wye wa’ ‘t so ‘ard t’ see?”  You do play well to his madness, Barad.  I would not have tried to turn this one to a tool.  I must learn what you plan to do.  This one is dangerous.

Solemnly Barad said, “This is why only she, of all who claim to be Dragon-witches, is dangerous.  She never owns-up to her power.  She never claims it.  She just uses it, hidden from all.”

There was a discrete rap at the door.  They all quieted at once.  Barad went and opened it a narrow slit.  A whispered conversation followed.

“That was the watch officer.  We need to go up on deck.”

As they were going up the companion-ladder to the deck, Barad asked casually, “Have you ever seen your boat before?”

“Yes,” said Silor tightly.  “In the Longin’s boat-shop.”

“Master Juris must have been pleased with it.”

“He was but he didn’t build it …”  A look of fear washed across Silor’s face as the realization hit.  “Kurin did.  It was her journeyman’s submission piece.”  He ran to the rail.  “Where is it?  Where’s the boat?”

“I’m Officer of the Watch, Theld Elon, Sir.  Boat’s at the end of its line.”  The line went down into the water, drawn tight and pulled back at an angle by the Grandalor’s speed.  “Went down sudden a few minutes ago.”

Tanlin looked calmly over the side.  “‘T appears t’at we almost missed pickin’ ye up.  Oi wonder ‘ow t’is ‘appened?” How did you do this, you old dragon?  What a touch!  I would never have thought of this!

“Mister Theld, heave to,” ordered Captain Barad with quiet authority.  “Get a diver on deck now!  We need to secure that boat for lifting.  With the water in her she’ll be heavy when she breaches the surface.”

Theld set to issuing orders, and the tocsin began its tattoo of command, bringing the watch to deck.  A diver, roused from her bunk, came up still yawning and stretching.  A pair of ungainly looking flat things were hung over her shoulder.

“What’s the problem, Captain?”

“We need to retrieve the boat that’s on the end of this line.”

Without any question as to why or if it were urgent, the diver got straight to business.

“What kind of boat is it and how big?”

“Day-sailer. About twenty five feet long, loaded for a month’s voyage.” Captain Barad looked for confirmation to Silor, who nodded.

“How long is this line?”  She had stripped, leaving only a pair of tight fitting shorts.  Sitting on the deck, she began strapping the flat things onto her feet.  She tied her hair into a tight bun.

“About forty feet.”

“OK, I’ll need two fifty foot, number three cables.  Attach the first one to the cargo block of the heavy crane.  Get the portable crane over here and secure it to the mizzen mast.  Put the other cable onto its cargo block.”

There was a lull for Captain Barad, Tanlin and Silor, as the watch crew prepared things to the diver’s satisfaction.

“What are those things on her feet?” Silor asked.

“Arrakan diver’s flips,” Tanlin answered.  “Our divers ‘ave used t’em for Gat’erings past remembering.”

“I thought that you lost your memory,” said Silor curiously.  “Did it come back?”  At her look of distress and Barad’s of rage, he feared that he had made a serious mistake.

“Nae, Luve.  Donnae ‘old ‘t against ‘im.”  She was biting back tears.  The more I do this the easier it is to forget that it’s an act.  “Ye cannae protect m’ from t’e world forever, an’ Oi must learn t’ cope wit’ ‘t.” She turned to Silor.  “Tis like t’is.  Oi lost only ane t’ing from m’ memory.  People. M’sel’ an’ eveyane t’at Oi’ve ever known, until Oi awoke t’ t’e Orca song.

“Oi can draw ye t’e plan an’ lines o’ ever’ ship Oi‘ve lived on.  Oi know all t’at Oi used t’ know.  Oi ‘ave t’e ’ule Arrakan fleet, ‘ts laws, customs, navigation, ever’t’in’s ‘ere,” she tapped her temple.  “But t’ere’s nae ane person t’ere!  Nae even m’sel’!  Tis worse t’an ghosts.  Tis utterly empty an’ never stops ‘urting, unless Oi can focus on somet’in’ new.

“Barad’s precious t’ m’ because ‘e keeps m’ safe at night.  ‘E ‘olds m’ an’ keeps t’e emptiness inside from swallowin’ m’.” Strange, but that’s nearly true.  Even if what we did was wrong, what’s done is done.  We were married before the whole Naral fleet by Arrakan law and, as it was accepted, it’s now legal by the Third Great Law.  I’m being treated like a partner and friend as a wife should be.

“I’m sorry,” said Silor sincerely.  “I have some idea of what you must feel.  I’ve lost my ship, too.  Also, my fleet, all that made home for me.  They’re gone but I remember everything and everyone.  It hurts.”

“Oi donnae t’ink Oi’d like t’ trade places wit’ ye, Silor.”  My act is sailing closer and closer to reality.  Your madness is driving you ever further onto dry land.

TO BE CONTINUED

<==PREVIOUS   NEXT==>

Return to the Master Story Index

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[nad-zeta]

Matchup ^_^

 Okay… So im hoping you’re still taking match-ups still, (if you’re not doing mash-ups, im sorry, you can ignore this.), and if you are may I ask for one?

Information: Female, 5’6-5’8 (Not sure exactly how tall I am.) I love to write, yet I don’t share much of it with others. I like to learn about different places, and would love to travel at some points. Conscious when it comes to meeting people, and have a hard time trusting people in general. I love the art of war, and while I wouldn’t want to be in one, watching one from (very) far away intrigues me. I also love to learn about different weapons, swords, throwing knives, guns, (I would love to learn how to use a sword and guns, know how to use throwing knives.) I do have very murderous thoughts, not gonna lie. I usually keep to the bitch face expression and death starring people. However if I do warm up to people I show them a softer and quieter side. I whisper a lot if im tired, or sometimes just do it randomly. Very insensitive towards feelings. Mine and others, I won’t notice anything related to emotions if you don’t tell me. And that’s about it.

Please and thank you!

P.s, For Ikemen Sengoku

Another P.s, Im sorry if you aren’t doing them or i did it wrong. also sorry if any part of this sounds insensitive.

Match up!

Hey there love I hope you didn’t have to wait too long for this @thedollarstoresatan​ ^0^ Thanx so much for the request and I hope you enjoy it! 

So I match you with……………. Nobunaga 

Lol not gonna lie I had some trouble deciding between Nobunaga, Sasuke, and Kenshin lol

When you first arrived in the past, you were met with a sword at your throat. Mother dearest didn’t like the idea of some random girl showing up and becoming their castle caretaker. This boy didn’t trust you at all, and your mistrust of him was painted over your face. Not gonna lie Hideyoshi backed down slightly when he saw the furious look in your eyes. If looks could kill, he would be dead. And with his sword at your throat and frustration levels rising you count help but imagine 100 different ways to kill Hideyoshi and dispose of the body. When you saw him back of you smiled a little at yourself, looks like he got the message. You now we’re staring at Nobunaga, who simply wore the most amused grin. You were definitely going to shake things up for them.

That night Nobunaga pulled a classic Nobu and invite you to his room to “warm his bed”. You obviously flat out refused him. So he instead opted to entertain himself by playing a game of go with you. You had never played but had really come to enjoy it. You had come to appreciate the war aspects without physically killing people. Nobunaga couldn’t help but smirk at the bright look you had in your eyes as you played. And honestly, your strategies were extremely good for a mere beginner. You almost had him beat with your first game. And that is when you let it slip that you loved the art of war. You explained that war and the strategies that go into it have always intrigued you. He was a little shocked to have met a woman who actually liked and understood the concept of war. The two of you spent the rest of the evening talking about his ambitions and playing go. He found it refreshing to have someone who could understand the difficult decisions he had to make. He loved the way your eyes lit up with curiosity when he would explain things relating to the art of war.  Not only that but it always surprised him when you too could give him some insight to what you had learned about it.

Classic Nobunaga took it upon himself to teach you everything he knew about war, even if that meant taking you with him to the battlefield. He would recommend strategy books for you to study to feed your thirst for knowledge. He would also let you help him write up important documents teaching you about all the ins and outs and behind the scenes happenings of actually planning a battle. Although you were having some trouble with reading and writing things in this time period, cause everything looked so squiggly and foreign. Nobunaga rudely just assumed you were illiterate, that was until you whipped out your journal. It looked a bit tattered and old, and only had a few more blank pages left. It started off as a bullet journal, but being trapped in the past had inspired you to start writing all sorts of little short stories. As Nobunaga started to read through it, he was amazed at some of the stories you had written. Although it was now his turn to struggle reading your futuristic handwriting. He taught you how to read and write, and in return, he demanded that you write him some stories and read them to him at night after your game of go. He loved listening to your stories, and he was amazed at how just listening to your writing would teleport him into a different world.  

You were definitely the most amusing fireball. Nobunaga has never met a woman quite like you. You had once again saved his life and was offered a reward. Everyone looked at you with expecting eyes thinking you would ask for some jewelry, clothes, or something cute. But nope, instead, you wanted to learn how to use a weapon. You plainly stated that you wanted to learn how to use a gun, sword, and/or learn to throw throwing knives correctly. The blood practically drained out of Hideyoshi’s face. He looked at you with mama bear worry in his eyes profusely, trying to convince you to chose any other reward. The trouble-making trio all just laughed amusingly at the lucky little charm wanting to arm herself. Once the laughter died down Nobunaga spoke “Very well if my fireball wants to learn how to use a sword as a reward I shall grant it,” Mitsuhide also spoke up at this time “I do suppose the little mouse can join Ieyasu in my shooting lessons,” and that is how you started learning to use weapons. In the mornings, you and Nobunaga would train, and in the evening, Mitsuhide would teach you to shoot. By the end of the month, you were a pro in both and was now convincing Nobunaga to show you how to use throwing knives. He really enjoyed spending time with his fireball. You were a quick learner with a lot of grit and resilience. And you loved to see Nobunaga sweet side, after training, he would always take you up to his room to apply salve to all your cuts and bruises from training. Not to mention the fact that he would share his candy stash with you as a reward for a job well done

It is a well-known fact that Nobunaga loves going on adventures and traveling, his dream apart from conquering japan is to travel the world. He is one of the few people who believes that you won’t fall off the face of the earth if you sail the seas and that the earth is round, not flat. You tell him about all the places you’ve been to and have seen, and he is in awe. The two of you actually sneak out quite a lot to go on little adventures even if it is just to a nearby region for tea, feeling the wind in your hair and seeing different sights along the way makes it well worth the trip. Both of you also would often talk about future plans after japan has been unified. The both of you may or may not have made a pact to travel the world together when all the wars are over.

Honestly, Nobunaga loves your soft sweet side. That side is reserved for him only. You love how you don’t have to worry about having to notice specific emotions Nobunaga. He is very open and honest with you and will tell you exactly how he feels when he feels it. He knows that the best way to deal with a problem is facing it head-on without beating around the bush. The two of you have the most open, honest relationship with each other. Both of you are blunt and insensitive on the outside. However few know that when the two of you are alone, and together the cinnamon roll within comes put. Nobunaga loves it when you randomly whisper talk to him. He has also noticed you do this when you are tired. Whenever you speak to him like that, he pulls you straight to his room, sits down while pulling you down with him. He gently lets you rest your head on his thigh while he gently starts playing with your hair. “Rest now fireball, I’ll be right here to watch over you.” The two of you had long ago confessed your feeling for each other. And you really enjoyed sweet soft moments like this.

Nobunaga will do anything to see his little fireball happy. He loves to spar and talk battle and strategy with you. You bring new ideas and perspectives to the table which he really enjoys. The two of you can often be found off traveling and going on adventures. Much to mother dearests disapproval. You guys would just disappear for days leaving nothing but a note saying BRB. You guys definitely get an earful from Hideyoshi about these spontaneous adventures. When you are home, the two of you will just sit together on the balcony drinking some sake and spending the night in each other’s arms. Nobunaga will usually drop a few kisses on your forehead and cheek to remind you of his love and affection

Other potential matches………………….. Kenshin, 

Thank you so much for the request, dear! I hope you enjoy and have a good day!^3^

[bxstiae]

⚜ ; [ TWILI LANGUAGE / HC.4  ]     WORLDBUILDING │ LANGUAGE LANG. POSTS: HYLIAN /

alright, so... in my last post about the hylian language. i talk about like.... its roots and what it would really sound like phonetic wise and whatnot. && if you haven’t read it, then go ahead and click the ‘hylian’ link above. I do go into some detail about it. but to sum it up: it’s latin based. granted thats a lot to really cover and very generalised but i mean i can’t go into detail about the different dialects of all hylian. just know that there are different dialects of hylian: zelda speaks differently than link as link was raised in a village in ordon and zelda is a princess and comes from a different region. ganon also speaks a bit differently since he is gerudo and yet from ANOTHER region.... like all three of them speak hylian: but they have different words & phrases. but... i mean in general hylian is latin based with a bit of japanese and/or arabic in there too ( it just depends on region )

but i want to talk about midna speech && the twili language! cause it is different! all going under a read more cause i don’t know how long this will be.

as always, you guys are free to look at this, but please try not to take what i’ve researched without asking. with the twili language, i have a lot of sources that i’m looking at. a majority (if not all) of this stuff i have written is stuff that i have made ( or at least taken into consideration for ). The videos/people i source just happen to she the same exact thoughts and can put it into better words than i can.

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OR USE WITHOUT PERMISSION. DO NOT REBLOG OR REUSE THIS FOR YOUR OWN HC. 

regardless of game. 

I work hard on my HCs, i do not want this to be snatched up. if you want to discuss, then lets discuss. I have similar HC for many of the LOZ games mainly in Skyward Sword & Breath of the Wild. I am more than willing to share if you come and discuss with me. otherwise, DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING from this post without permission.

The other day i found this page. while i always kinda knew that midna talking was always garbled & scrambled, i never really had the patience to really.... sit down and look for actual videos where they unscrambled midna’s lines. that and i honestly forgot too cause it’s been a hot minute since i played tp.... so im glad this was actually on my recommended the other day -- it’s like chrome knows that i am looking for things like this.....

anyway.... so i bring it up to attention cause i had been honestly looking for resources & stuff for the twili language. I mentioned that it was a little primitive in nature because it is! i just didn’t know how to correctly consider it without straying TOO far from canon. i like to make meta out of stuff that’s formed from the game. but like to go into more detail about it. 

anyway. like i said. twili is technically still considered hylian! its.... like how midna’s voice suggests.... very scrambled/jumbled. it’s not backwards per say... its... just jumbled! it’s a bit like... typoglycemia but the phonetic version of it. ( if there is a phonetic version of it ). mind you, this is NOT the same as the twili language written out. twili has its OWN scriptures!!! that’s different than hylian!!! just that their SPEECH is garbled/jumbled. 

Think of it like.... in Spy Kids. when they make the clones?? yea and they can’t talk so it sounds garbled?? LIKE THIS. yea exactly like that. okay but here: have that video that shows midna talking though:

she.... just.... i love her... anyway.. so yea. anyway...

the twili language is really weird cause their speech patterns are very.... different. it’s not as... sophisticated as the standard hylian but that’s because it’s more ancient & didn’t have much to evolve over the years. it’s pretty standard comparing it to the more.... older languages. but yea. 

also another side thing to conisder, because i said this in my last post:

Let’s also not forget that i also mentioned that twili is a FORM of hylian ( so possibly you can see latin & arabic roots there ). But we aren’t talking about twili language this is strictly hylian. so back to hylian.

Now without really talking all that much about the gerudo ( cause honestly..... thats also a language/dialect in itself ), let me present you guys with this theory video:

to sum it up: the video considers that.... the twili are gerudo or at least have some part of gerudo in them ( mixed races, etc. etc. etc. ) It also brings up the idea that.... Gerudo are capable of magic, which the twili are known for ( in this case it is dark magic ). Its a bit of a stretch, and im going down an even deeper rabbit hole, but i bring this up because.... i do, in fact, see twili to be a bit more arabic than any other language at least in TP.

so... say it simply: twili is a garbled-ish form of arabic with some latin roots.

Lets also look at the fact that the twili world can only be entered through a MIRROR. a world in a state of perpetual dusk. a world that is on the opposite side of the coin. in a way... a world almost like a mirror to hyrule: but smaller and... a bit different. whats funny is that in english ( or latin ) words are written from left to right. and justified left. arabic: to my knowledge, is the the other way around. and in manga: the correct way to read things is from right to left. 

IM not saying that the twilight language is a BACKWARDS language. cause it’s not. it’s way more complex than that, but you cannot look at it directly in the normal way. I bring it up cause the scriptures... are very different than hylain. while it may be easier to understand what a twili says, it’s HARD to read what what they’ve written. because its.... not normal.

twili do not write or read in straight lines. Midna, when she comes to hyrule, understands that hylians write in straight lines. and she can pick it up cause... its... different... and honestly easier despite it’s sophistication. 

but thats the difference!! normal hylian is simple & easy cause it isn’t all over the place. Twili honestly is what a 4 or 5 year old would draw or write. i.e.: it’s all over the place. I would show you some twili font, however, i cannot due to the fact that there isn’t much. and by that i mean, there is literally nothing that i can go off of. however, I would like to show you guys this:

This is the CURTAIN OF TWILIGHT. while i don’t think it was their intention to make this look like a language let alone words ( i think they just tried to make it seem look archaic ), i do have to say that the twili language LOOKS like this. by this, i mean that its everywhere. there isn’t a single line for it. it’s.... everywhere. normal people wouldn’t be able to read twili: they would consider it just scribbles and random designs. however, twili can read it. I would have to look for a comic that shows link looking around and finding twilight artefacts, but its a lot like the cave art that we have in places that bring up our own ancestors.

an artist actually...??? made up their own design for a twili font that i actually like?? HERE is that link for the font. and I really do like how they have the radicalised twili syntax because it’s very, VERY similar to how i would probably want to see the twili written as. Please know that this is Undying Nephalim’s tribute to the twilight language. this isn’t something that i made or even discussed with them. I just found this like months ago. i am using it as a guide to show you what i can see twili looking like. 

i’ll end it here for now cause im kinda at a lostt to what else i should say but.... please feel free to let me know what you guys think and if you guys like this. I’m sure i’ll have more some other time.

[toxikbubblegum]

May Reading Wrap Up

I'm actually really proud of myself. I finished 13 books last month. Spent a lot of extra time away from screens and focusing on my mental health so I burned through way more than I normally would. So anyways, here's my reviews. - Also please understand that these are just my opinions and if I shit on your favorite book I'm sorry that I didn't enjoy it as much as you. Also, also Im terrible with character names.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐

I actually started this book at the end of April but didn't finish it til May 1st so whatever, here it is. This books is a YA urban fantasy novel about a girl with a double life. She spends half her days studying art in Europe and the other half running errands for a tooth collecting wish monger. I don't want to say a whole lot more because I dont want to spoil anything important about the plot. So, I'll try to be vague. Let me start by saying this story is amazing. I loved the writing and the world. I rated it so low solely because I can't stand the two main characters and it really dragged down what would have otherwise been an amazing novel. So yeah, great book but its a preference thing. Also took points off for the insta-love but not really insta-love shit. Idk. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this read even a month later. Gonna read the second to see if maybe my hatred of the two mains was just a fluke.

3/5 Stars

Spellbound by Rachel Hawkins

⭐⭐⭐

This is the third book in the Hex Hall trilogy. Not much to say about it. It was a meh ending to an overall pretty good series. 3/5 stars. Moving on.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

⭐⭐⭐

Realizing now how many of my reads this month were pretty middle of the world. Hopefully next month will be filled with 4 and 5 stars. Anyways, this book was honestly a struggle for me to finish and Im not sure why. It's a YA mystery magical realism story about a tiny coastal town that is cursed by the spirits of 3 sisters who were suspected of witchcraft and drowned 2 centuries prior. Because of this, every year the sisters return from the sea to take the lives of teenage boys by luring them to the sea. We follow the life of kind of meh and standard YA girl #1. She meets a strange non tourist boy and hires him to work in the lighthouse her family owns. Her dad randomly disappeared years ago and her mom is a loon. So yeah... I dont know. I kind of felt like this story was hot garbage in places. I usually dont have any trouble with the suspense of disbelief in magical realism stories but this one just had too many plot holes. Like, I get morbid stuff becomes tourist attractions but why wouldn't someone have stepped in and evacuated the town if at least 3 teenage boys die there EVERY SINGLE YEAR without fail? I honestly feel like the FBI or some other government agency would have cleared the place out after the first 20 or so deaths. There was also the whole MC can see the ghosts of the girls possessing people but chooses not to tell anyone? Like, I get it. You dont want people to label you a freak or think you're crazy but come the fuck on. You live in a tourist trap where people flock to watch local teenage males wash up on shore and you really think the authorities arent going to take you up on the help? It wasn't an awful book by any means. It was well written and extremely descriptive. Just had major beef with some of the details. Anyways, I wont say much more so I don't spoil the whole book.

3/5 Stars

An Enchantment of Ravens by Maragret Rogerson

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Finally, I get to talk about one of my favorite reads of the month. I love anything to do with the Fae in my YAfiction and this was literally everything I wanted in a Fae novel. It takes place in a town called Whimsy, a humanish town in the world of Faerie. The fae cannot do any Craft, or what we would consider craftsmanship. Art and humans who can do it well are very precious in this world because the Fae can't ever do it themselves. We follow the adventures of a girl who has been commisioned to paint the portrait of the Autumn King and the chaos that ensues. Let me just start by saying this is one of those insta-love situations where I feel like it's genuinely ok. I might be making excuses because I loved the title so much but whatever. It's explained and I accept it. Also, I realize that Gadfly had a lovely description but my brain willl not let me picture him as anything but Mr.Waternoose from Monsters Inc.

5/5 Stars

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

⭐⭐⭐

This book started out so good and went downhill very quickly. It follows the story of these two magicians who were fated by their Master's to one day fight to the death. There were so many things I loved about this book only for the last 100 pages to just take a firey dump on my face. I loved the setting and the majority of the characters. The supporting characters were so deep and interesting that I almost cared more about them than I did Ceilia and Marko (Im proabably wrong and I dont feel like googling but I think that was his name) . I don't know. I don't want to complain about anymore meh books.

3/5 Stars

Matched by Allie Condie

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Went into this book expecting to hate it. I usually don't like contemporary love stories but this had major City of Ember meets The Giver vibes and it just appealed to that 14 year old girl in me again. That seems to happen with a lot of dystopian utopia stories. Anyways, story is about a girl who lives in this town where when you hit a certain age you are brought to a place and told who the government has chosen for you to marry. She is matched with her life long best friend and all is well. Except that her little Get To Know Your New Husband microship thing showed her two guys instead of just one. And lots of bullshit ensues. I honestly think I rated this so high because I enjoy the world and not so much whats actually happening to the kids. Like, I loved the idea that art is harmful so the government chose 100 acceptable pieces and thats all these people know. I loved the brutality of the government in general. I can't say much more without spoiling some of the twists but geez did it have me hooked. I'm going to be started the second one soonish, though my TBR for June has gotten intense so we will see.

4/5 stars

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I cannot say enough good things about this book. It is so fucking good! Not going to rant about it or anything because y'all just need to go read it immediately.

5/5 stars

Would give it every star in the sky if Im being completely honest.

Reign of the Fallen by Sarah Glenn Marsh

⭐⭐

Got sucked into this book by the cover and honestly that was the best part of this book. Its about this world where necromancy is pretty highly regarded and used to resurrect the royals after they die. The only downside is that if a living person ever lays eyes on the resurrected person's skin then they turn into these horrible monsters. Maybe it's just me but like that absolutely does not seem worth the risk. Plus, in order to bring the person back, these reapers have to go into the death world and bring the spirit back. And it's HELLA DANGEROUS. So like, WHY? Anyways, there is this stupid underlying love story that I absolutely wasn't invested in. This just all around was not a good book.

2/5 stars

Monster High by Lisi Harrison

⭐⭐

Little known fact~ I'm obsessed with Monster High and Ever After High. So yeah, I realize this wasn't targeted to me as an adult but even going into it with an open mind I was disappointed. Granted I didn't read the description of the book prior. I just saw this franchise I love and grabbed it. First, if you are a fan of the mini series and the movies do not read this. It doesnt follow the cinematic canon and I think that was my biggest problem with it. Frankie's character was all wrong and I hated the whole"Normy" cast. Was really excited for these but I definitely won't be continuing the series. I don't even want to torture myself with seeing how they manage to ruin my sweet baby Draculara.

2/5 stars

Unhinged by AG Howard

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I can't say enough good things about this series. This is the second book in the trilogy and it was a fanatstic bridge book. It had me engrossed through the entire audiobook. Morpheus is still everything. If you loved Splintered I would highly reccomend continuing.

5/5 stars

Truthwitch

⭐⭐

Have had this on my TBR for a while because of how many Booktubers have hyped the series. Buy, was I disappointed. I was soooooooooo bored. Maybe it's because I don't really enjoy this type of fantasy or maybe it was just the slower paced story but I just slugged through this book. Both of the main female characters were bland to me and I didn't care about their friendship. The world was cool but not enough to keep me invested. Just wasn't my cup of tea.

2/5 stars

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White

⭐⭐⭐

Picked this up because of how much I loved The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein and it didn't meet my expectations. It follows this girl who works for a paranormal gorvenment group. She has a special ability that makes her really useful to them so they are trying to groom her basically. They capture this changeling and she befriends him and there is an overarching plot that I just didn't get invested in. The friendship between the two main characters was pretty much the only thing that I enjoyed in this title. The mother figure was insufferable and I just didn't really understand the whole org that they worked for in general. Not an awful book but not fantastic.

Solid 3/5 stars.

The Siren by Kiera Cass

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Going to preface this by saying I might be biased. I love Kiera Cass and have enjoyed almost everything she has written. That said, this wasn't nearly as good as The Selection series but it was a pretty good stand alone novel. It about a girl who becomes a siren on her deathbed and spends the next 100 years serving the sea by luring people to their deaths. After doing this for 70 years, she falls in love and pretty much ruins everything. Loved the characters, especially the male lead. The insta love was a little pet peeve of mine but the love interest was so sweet and genuine that I was willing to overlook it. Pretty good read if you dig supernatural romance.

4/5 stars

June holds the Ghibli-a-thon but also lots of holidays for my family so we will see how much I actually get read. So far my tentative TBR is 5 books but we will see where the days take me.

[ellerevelle]

okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)

but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order: 

Trump is our stupid President

That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home. 

And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy. 

But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh. 

Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead. 

I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her. 

Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me. 

because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it. 

So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face. 

I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked! 

Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many, 

The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon. 

So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise. 

I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to. 

You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else. 

All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE! 

I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love. 

Back to the list:

I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer. 

Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane. 

So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat. 

I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories. 

I only like my own brand of cigarettes. 

My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid. 

I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc. 

And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)

I miss Adam. 

What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post. 

So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something. 

I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy. 

No, I have become recently lazy. 

I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.

 #depression! 

so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...

when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart. 

I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE. 

But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but. 

I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened. 

And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life. 

I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out. 

How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner. 

I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run. 

I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh. 

Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin. 

I need a job.