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mikfos · 8 months ago

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I stole my best friends boyfriend

On being a bad friend, moving to America, and having a lot of sex

Growing up in Canada was wholesome. I was an innocent tween who lived in a house three minutes away from Grouse Mountain. There was a hidden path in my backyard that led directly to a forest- some scenes from New Moon were filmed there. I’d venture out after school or on weekends, and nonchalantly saunter around the woods before miraculously arriving at the place I knew I was headed towards. The tree was charred, barely standing, hollowed out on the inside from a lightning strike that had hit it years before. If I crawled into this tiny space off the side, I could sit in it and look up to the surrounding, lush, green trees, those which billowed over my near dead comfort space.

My priorities consisted of meeting up with my friends on club penguin and running a Klaine blog on tumblr. I did musical theatre and choir, I was on a competitive swim team and spent weekends snowboarding. It was that kind of childhood that kids now don’t really get to have. There was no tiktok or instagram, no pressure to dress a certain way. Those years in Vancouver were probably the most content of my childhood. Things changed when I moved to Oregon a few months after turning 13.

I was awed at as an ‘international’ student even though Vancouver was only 300 miles away. I remember my school urging me to read my blog posts to classes because I was kind of popping off on the internet at that time. I was a ‘successful child blogger’. A few months into my American teenage life, a girl from my school started a fan account for me. It was such a whirlwind. No one in Canada cared about who I was, and I frolicked around like weird, endearing child I was. Within days of starting middle school, it was all eyes on me. That, and I was exposed to things that stripped me of my innocence immediately.

My primary school in Vancouver was very tame, very granola. Before moving to America, the most extreme thing I’d done was hide behind the dumpsters at recess with my friends, whisper fuck, shit, and cunt, and then lose my mind giggling because we were cursing. At my new school in Portland, kids would walk through the halls reeking of weed. This one kid showed me a pipe on my first or second day, and it was such a shock to me. I got invited to hang with kids by the river and it would just be them doing drugs. There was ‘slap ass Fridays’, which is what it sounds like. I’d had silly little boyfriends in Canada at that point but it was more like, we would message on kik and plan to hug at recess the next day. Within 6 months of moving to Portland, I’d both had my first kiss, and had given my first blowjob.

I didn’t handle the new girl attention well. I performed as well as I could, but internally I was stubbing my toe through conversations not knowing the right thing to say, not having a filter. After school each day, I’d mull over each tiny social interaction, wondering where I was going wrong, why I felt so misplaced and misaligned with my peers.

Social interactions became a frightening and constant game. Even though this one was entirely new and foreign, and I didn’t know the rules, I’ve never been a person to concede. I could restart my trials on the ‘right’ ways to act when developing relationships with new people once I’d turned someone off.

Of course at the time I’d blame it on the other kids for not getting me- but no one stuck around. People seemed to be off-put by me. I made a couple friends, dated some guys, but none of it was substantial and I felt constantly insecure. The fear was either that they were with me because I was an easy, desperate option, or that I had intriguing labels placed on my person, which might make them seem cool for associating with me. I didn’t feel like anyone saw me as a real person, let alone cared what I had to say.

This was the beginning of the freak years, where I was an insane person to know or interact with, beginning age 13, and finishing around age 21.

In eighth grade, there was a new girl at my school. Eliza got the me six months prior treatment. She was pretty and got a lot of attention and we became fast friends. Our humor was entirely compatible. I’d spill the wackiest things in my brain and she seemed to understand entirely. She would say the weirdest shit too and it made perfect sense. We were made of the same stuff- pretty and popular on the outside, strange and turbulent on the inside.

For all the self doubt and shame I had from knowing I was a difficult pill to swallow, she made me feel seen and important. It’s like our brains were operating at the exact same frequency, our emotions about the world in perfect sync. She was the first real best friend I’ve ever had. Thirteen years of feeling like I had to say the right thing so that people would like me- I could say the wrong thing, and she’d still love me anyways. That’s the kind of soul stuff I wasn’t getting with peers, I wasn’t getting at home.

She taught me for the first time what it meant to find life more enjoyable when you experience it with someone. One time we found a pack of cigarettes on the ground and chain smoked them- then immediately rode the screaming eagle at Oaks park two times in a row just because we were 13 and we could. We wore each other’s clothes, we ate dinner with each other’s families, we prank called people, we thought all the same guys were cute, we loved listening to Ariana Grande and Kacey Musgraves and watching Dance Moms together. We sang together and recorded covers of Bon Iver songs and put them on Youtube. I hadn’t really sang at all since moving to the states.

Eliza had come to my middle school because of an incident that happened at her smaller, private Catholic school. Her involvement in that world introduced me to a whole new set of kids- I was only familiar with the public middle school population from my school, but once I became friends with Eliza, I met the more posh, more rich, more catholic-guilt ridden kids in my neighborhood. I ended up going to the catholic all girls private high school and Eliza went our neighborhoods public high school, so in a way we switched places.

She represented who I wanted to be, who I hoped I was. I was in an entirely unfamiliar landscape, had a new persona attached to me as some clouted up Canadian girl, even though that felt fraudulent and misplaced. She had to switch schools and still kept her head up. I knew what she was struggling with, but at school she was just likable and a cool girl. Beautiful and talented, strong. So fun to be around, finding the humor in everything.

So when high school came around and she began doing things like smoking weed, hanging with ‘weird girls’, I began to judge her. And then we stopped hanging as much. It’s funny I was being so critical of her smoking weed, while I was being outrageously promiscuous, because those things are in similar camps of things kids do which are intended for adults.

I’d look at her social media posts and experience tremendous loss, though at the time it felt something like pity and confusion. When did that stop, that need to be together? There was no ending or fight, there was simply one day we were best friends, and the next day we weren’t. Could circumstances really be so irrevocable- we went to different schools and made different friends, so our friendship wasn’t compatible anymore? Perhaps she never felt as connected as I did, and she was glad to be rid of me. Perhaps I was too afraid to maintain something real because it would prevent me from distracting from the swelling frenzy inside.

You know when someone asks you what’s your biggest regret in life?

There was this guy. He was in that rich kid catholic school world that Eliza had always been in, so she introduced us at some point. Andrew lived two blocks away from me and was cute and funny and popular. He wore Golf Wang and rode around on a skateboard. As far as I was concerned, he was the most dripped out boy in all of Southeast Portland.

Andrew had a will they won’t they with Eliza. He was always a guy she spoke about with a reverence. There were the guys she didn’t like, and the guys she liked. Andrew was the main one.

So I respected it. I talked to her about him throughout our friendship, even though it was harder once I’d met the guy. I completely understood why she was so down bad. He was the best my neighborhood had to offer for potential crushes. He was that guy. My two blocks away neighbor, and I ended up going to an all girls school. Similarly to my friendship with Eliza, I developed a friendship with Andrew that just made sense. We shared that nonsensical, unsettling sense of humor and quirkiness that you really only find in other neurodivergent people.

Will they won’t they- they did. Eliza loved Andrew, like really loved him. He was her first love. They didn’t just casually date. I knew this, and I was supportive of them. But I don’t remember being around it that much because it happened and ended by the time we were at different high schools.

I was still friendly with Eliza. We saw each other around, we’d spend afternoons together in our neighborhood with other kids, but my social world had expanded greatly into my freshman year. The two of us never had some inexplicable ending to our friendship, we just weren’t in the same spaces anymore. That once undeniable, 24/7 bond we had at all times had been severed.

In the last month of my freshman year, I visited my old friends in Vancouver. We all went to a party and got drunk and I was transported back in time, though this time with my newly acquired American rebelliousness. Hilariously, much of the trip was spent going to second base with one of my own will they wont theys. I’d briefly dated him in grade seven, after he played Grampa Joe opposite my Charlie Bucket in our school’s production of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Less hilariously, he had also dated my best friend from Canada, whom I was staying with. I was such a mess.

I walked through my old neighborhood when I visited, but I didn’t go to my backyard forest. When I was a kid, sitting in that tree, most of the time inside it was spent picking at the pieces of bark inside it. I’d rub the wood between my fingers and they’d be dyed by the soot from the charred wood. I soiled a lot of my clothes that way.. wiping my fingers on my pants or my shirt.

The day I was meant to leave, I got lunch at White Spot with aforementioned Canadian best friend, Sexy Grampa Joe, and another one of our friends. Then we all hung out in a playground while I waited for my step dad to pick me up. Grampa Joe and I peeled off from the others, unable to keep our hands off each other. We’d be making out and hiding in one of those slides or platforms, and this pounding, painful reminder of time kept hitting me. I was kissing him to stop myself from crying. I didn’t want to go back to Portland. I liked Vancouver better, I wanted to be there with my old friends. I was hypothesizing how possible it would be to date Grampa Joe long distance, when I could visit again, or if I could convince my parents to move back. I cried on the way home.

Then it was summer, and it was back to my life in Portland. I was going to be a sophomore in the fall.

At the time I’d attributed my promiscuity to being hyper-sexual, which was true, but I was also filling my space with boys to distract from my daddy issues. My family issues in general, my confusion about who I was supposed to be. At night I’d feel so empty, so I’d watch Gossip Girl until I fell asleep to prevent myself from processing too much of it.

I made friends with groups from other schools and homie hopped in every one of them. I lost my virginity and made out with guys I knew other girls liked. There were a dozen unopened snapchats from different boys at any given moment. One in particular thought we were dating even though I was doing all these other shenanigans. I remember him telling me he was heartbroken because of my behavior (re: finding out about all the other boys). It was confusing because I couldn’t understand why he didn’t see life as fun as I did, and we barely even hung out. I couldn’t really keep track of the amount of boys I was talking to, crushing on, or hanging out with. There was a new #1 every week.

It was summer 2014, and that was the vibe I was on. I was a tornado of chaos, I flirted with everyone, and had zero fucks to give about anything. I was listening to Flume, Lorde, and Childish Gambino. I was going out and drinking all the time, sleeping on football fields, smoking cigarettes and taking sexy pictures. I’d leave my iPad at the friends house I lied I was staying at, so my parents could track me and see I was where I said I was going to be. Then spend the night at some boys house instead, after going to a party with juniors and seniors.

Life and relationships were my playground, and I was high on playing. I saw the opportunity to flirt and dance and live in every person, in every plan, every party. Experiencing everything possible out in the world was the only way I could outweigh the hatred I felt at home.

If my behavior that summer was any indication, I wasn’t really in a place to treat myself with respect, let alone the people around me. I was wearing American Apparel babydoll dresses, smoking cigarettes and drinking bubble tea before parties at some rich kids house. Eliza was hanging with people I deemed ‘lame’, because I had become popular and self-righteous, too caught up in my own idea of what was cool, and judging her for her lifestyle choices. For all I knew, she was smoking weed and doing drugs in the forest with the randoms from her public school. I was weirded out by what I heard about her, I thought she had changed. I wasn’t a good friend anymore, too caught up in my own tornado to check in with her and connect.

Andrew was adjacent to the things I felt I represented- he went to another catholic private school, and he embodied a truly Kyle from Ladybird vibe with a cool instagram. I’d always admired his aesthetic and how I felt I looked when we walked through our neighborhood together.

We were just friends that summer, it was entirely innocent. As we became closer, the crush was there, but I had crushes on tons of guys. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Andrew and his friends and I would walk to the store and get sodas. We’d set off sparklers in front of the mansions in our neighborhood and they’d skate away while I chased them, phone out, recording everything for Vine. I laughed so much when I was with him, and it wasn’t even about how deeply I crushed on him. I loved the convenience. We’d text to make plans, and since he lived 2 minutes away we could hang within minutes.

One day I went to Andrews house, around the end of that summer, and we watched a movie in his basement. We were lying on our stomachs, looking up at the TV. That anticipatory tension filled the air, and my body was heavy and light at the same time. I knew it was coming.

He turned his head towards me and I turned my head towards him, and we inched towards each other. Kissed. It was sweet, soft.. and then it picked up, and turned into something more passionate. A new level of kissing for me, like there was an explosion in my chest and I clung to him in the aftershock. Pure electricity hitting me in my core. Maybe it was because all summer I was hooking up with random guys because I could, and then there was this guy who I’d fantasized about for so long and genuinely liked who was kissing me like he meant it. And it was wrong.

Was Eliza my best friend at that moment in time? Not really. I still cared about her but we’d fallen out of orbit, barely seeing each other towards the end of that summer. Eliza and Andrew weren’t together anymore. I knew she thought I stole him, from things other kids said to me. We never discussed it though. I could’ve argued that wasn’t technically true, but it was the principle. I was doing something unforgivable.

He was that guy for her, I knew it. That sort of thing doesn’t change- I would know, because he was it for me too. I was actively doing something wrong, which made it that much more exciting. Doing something forbidden, and the guilt and horror mixed with the thrill and excitement. The sizzling superiority in being chosen, it was an overdose of energy.

Andrew and I had a conversation about Eliza early on. I think it was something about how she’s gone off the deep end, we can’t help her now, and we’re in such a better place in life. Lol. I remember us discussing cocaine and the possibility of her doing it, because she was friends with someone who had done cocaine. Which is why our betrayal of her was valid? I don’t remember. Something foolish like that, a copout to compensate for how forbidden it felt.

It’s absurd to reflect on this, that we were speculating and giving reasons that would justify doing it. As if it was okay to date him because she was on some sort of moral decline, despite the fact that Andrew and I were both the problem children of our respective households, and doing things that 15 year olds definitely should not have been doing.

Andrew and I were together for most of our sophomore year. I had lost my virginity to another guy earlier that summer but it was more of a half-virginity, we didn’t have complete, satisfying sex. Andrew and I were fucking. All the time. It was kinky, porn inspired, all over the place. Not a month into my relationship with him I went on birth control, and then it was a free for all. Sex with him consumed my mind, and when we weren’t physically together, I was itching to get back to him. This is probably where my sex addiction started.

I spent a good amount of time at his school watching him play basketball. He spent a good amount of time in my basement fucking me on the couch my family sat and watched TV at. His family was ultra Catholic, and when him and his church friends went to mass, I’d wait for him to get back. One time, his mother came to my house to inquire my mother about our sex life. One time, we snuck into his best friends house when no one was home to have sex in his living room because it would be funny. Everything about us was risky because we could, because we were the same brand of impulsive and deranged.

Andrew introduced me to the concept that boys could be interesting. Before him, I perceived boys my age as, at best, attractive objects I could kiss that say nothing of value. He had one of those intense personalities, someone with a million things to say, unpredictable, hilarious, raunchy and edgy, and I could be as weird as I wanted and he didn’t care. It worked for a few months, and then as it does when two unstable people are together, it turned into a clusterfuck of fighting and clinging onto a previous feeling. I couldn’t focus in class because of the ridiculous text fights we were getting into.

When we broke up, I cried and begged him to not break up with me. I’m pretty sure I broke up with him as an impulsive, desperate test to see if he would fight for us, and then he agreed we should break up, and I backpedaled and begged him to take it back. It was so devastating for like 2 weeks. And then I heard he went and hooked up with Eliza immediately after, which I guess I deserved.

A few months ago, I was sitting around with some friends at one of their apartments. Someone asked the room what’s your biggest regret, and the Eliza Andrew situation popped into my head, without a second thought. These friends have only known me in my adult life. I’ll tell them stories of how I used to be, but I don’t think it fully registers. I was so wildly different from how I am now, that maybe it sounds exaggerated. Now 25, I spend a majority of my nights at home in my pajamas writing, or watching TV with my friends. I’m guarded and jaded. I avoid clubs and bars, and when I go to parties, I tend to find a couch or a corner of the room and stay there.

It happened a decade ago, but it still comes up at random. It was my answer to that question months ago. Do I think it’s the most evil thing a teenage girl could’ve done? Not really, it’s the exact kind of thing that stupid kids do to each other. Yet… it’s this massive hole in my lore, a time where I did something super cruel to the one person who deserved it least. The guilt has been slowly growing since it happened and it continues to creep up on me to this day.

Why did I do to do that? Why didn’t I stop myself? These are massive question marks in my brain. It doesn’t matter that time’s gone by or that Eliza and I are still friends. I did it and I can’t shake it. It left something in me, raw and dried up. Some might say it’s my canon event.

I wish I say I’ve had such an effortless friendship since, but I haven’t. I love my friends, I feel so lucky to be surrounded by the people I am these days. Eliza, though, was the only time where it was like, 100% of everything in life was with her. Nothing has felt quite like that, quite so beautiful and fun. It could be adulthood and responsibilities getting in the way, but there was something so once in a lifetime about that kind of friendship where everything was together- getting on the bus for school, snickering in class, hanging out after school, going to outings and discussing after, sleepovers, consuming the same media, recording Youtube videos, giving each other those looks in groups, texting constantly when we weren’t together, wearing each others clothes. Singing together took such a vulnerability from me especially. There’s one song by Ariana Grande I still can’t listen to because we used to sing it all the time together, me on the guitar and her on the ukulele.

She was hurt by what I did, though she never directly confronted me. When it happened, she posted a photo on her private instagram of her and Andrew, the caption about how he was stolen from her. Years later, when she allowed me to follow it again and I stalked the old post, I found that one and sobbed my eyes out. One of those moments where you’re saying stupid stupid stupid over and over in your head.

I apologized at some point after, but we were changed. It was stilted and awkward. I still feel the urge to say I’m sorry a thousand more times. That song is still muted on spotify and seeing photos of us still hurts me. It’s a living breathing reminder of how empty and destructive I was, and what my first real friendship felt like. That was the beginning of the end of me, being a wholesome child. My uncontrollable, sexual depravity took the front seat, and joy and connection thrown out the window. I lived like that for eight years.

The emotional economy of that situation is what left me broke in the end. Real, authentic friendships are rare. Sexual relationships can be fulfilling within minutes of introduction. As an imprudent child with emotional issues, there is much less to be desired in having a long term, slowly building friendship than an instantly gratifying romance with a guy that’s proving wrong your insecurity that you’re unworthy.

Eliza will always hold an important place in the story of my childhood. I’ll always be one of those people for her too, though in her story I’m one that hurt her, and that’s so devastating to me. I had such a good thing and ruined it. I can write this essay and talk to her about the situation years later with wisdom and maturity, but it’s not going to undo what was done, so I’ve had to accept that. I literally still tell myself, no, you were a kid, you couldn’t have known better. Something inside me is still dissapointed in myself for doing that. The fleeting months I spent with Andrew vs. with Eliza are unquantifiable, but there was no way I was going to know that as a child. That’s what I tell myself when I remember I've met interesting men since, men that are passionate and fulfilling since, but still haven’t found a friend I feel comfortable singing with.

I’d tell a younger version of myself not to have done it, to stay away from him in general, but I don’t think she would have listened. When you’re a kid, nothing is going to stop you. There is no older version of yourself inside you to show you what will happen. You have to make the mistake. And then you have to sit with it years later.

#writing #essay #growth

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imaginesandbandfiction · 3 years ago

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Harry Styles — Sunflower

Fine Line Series Part 3

I have about three-quarters of this series written and this one is definitely my favorite so far so I hope you like it! Please let me know your thoughts!

Part 1 │Part 2 │Masterlist

Want You More than a Melody

Sometime after that night in Washington DC, things had shifted between you and Harry. While the two of you were starting to get close before, things seemed to speed up until you were inseparable.

He wanted you around for the most simple things; whether it was brushing your teeth together in the theater bathroom before a show or eating breakfast in the hotel lobby. The air between the two of you had been growing thicker with every secret smile and prolonged glance.

It was in Atlanta that the tension finally boiled over. After the show, you rode back to the hotel together. It was an older hotel; gorgeous, but without some of the conveniences of the more modern places you had stayed. Like 24-hour room service, for example.

You waited in the living room area of Harry’s suite while he showered, scrolling idly through the Harry Styles tag on Tumblr on your phone. Although it wasn’t part of your job description, you liked to keep up with the fans on social media. It helped you gauge what they liked and didn’t like about the shows and you kept that information tucked in the back of your mind for later.

Harry finally emerged wearing a pair of black sweats and an old One Direction hoodie, his wet hair dripping onto his shoulders.

“I’m hungry,” he announced, crossing the room to sit next to you on the couch.

“I think I have a granola bar in my bag,” you said, reaching across him to try and grab it. He grabbed your waist, pulling you back.

“Nooo I want real food,” he whined, draping his body across your back.

“Too bad, the kitchen’s closed,” you said, laughing as you tried to sit up and push him off. That just made him hold on tighter.

“We could sneak in.”

“Absolutely not! I don’t want to get kicked out!”

“You won’t be kicked out, you're with me.” You punched his arm lightly as punishment for his cockiness. “Plus, we don’t have to worry about that - as long as we don’t get caught.” He looked up at you with a puppy-dog look in his big green eyes and you huffed, shoving him to the side.

“Fine. But this is your idea and I’m not taking the blame for it.”

The two of you slipped on your shoes and snuck down to the lobby. It didn’t take long to find the kitchen, it was down a small staircase in the back of the building.

You were both giddy with adrenaline, stifling giggles whenever one of you made a sound that was just a little bit too loud. The kitchen was pitch black, and it took a few tries to find the light switch. You may have knocked over a baking sheet in your quest, causing Harry to shush you loudly and then burst into uncontrollable laughter.

He talked a big game up in his room, but his good-British-boy genes kicked in and the two of you ended up with peanut butter sandwiches, hoping it would do the least amount of damage. He insisted on making them, motioning for you to hop up onto the counter to watch him work.

“It’s all in the knife skills,” Harry said, making a show of spreading the peanut butter on two slices of bread.

“Forget X Factor, you should have been on Master Chef,” you said, giggling.

“Finally! Someone recognizes my culinary excellence!” He held his hands in the air triumphantly, accidentally flinging peanut butter at the wall. “Oops.”

You rolled your eyes and slid off the counter to grab a paper towel and clean it up while he finished the sandwiches. He cut them into triangles and plated them on paper towels, not wanting to use up any dishes.

He handed you one of the sandwiches and held out his own in a toast.

“To Master Chef-level sandwiches,” he said before taking a bite. He watched eagerly as you bit into your own sandwich, waiting for your reaction.

“‘S good,” you said through a mouthful of peanut butter. You ate in silence for a moment, feeling the air between you shift from playful into something more intense, and neither of you wanted to break the spell.

You began to clean up silently; Harry rinsed the knife in the sink and you put the peanut butter and bread back into the pantry, catching a glimpse at your grown-out roots in the stainless steel door.

“Ugh, my roots look so bad!” You exclaimed, briefly forgetting the tension in the room as you scrutinized your appearance, which was slightly distorted in the reflection.

“I think you look great,” Harry said, coming over to stand behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. He rested his head on your shoulder and made eye contact through the reflection as he reached his hand up to stroke the hair at the top of your head. “‘S dark in the middle, and light on the ends, like a sunflower.”

You could feel your cheeks heating up in a blush and you turned your head away from your reflection, and from him. He caught your chin in his hand and spun you around until your back was against the cool metal door and his other hand was resting on your hip.

“‘M serious,” he whispered, squeezing your chin gently. “You’re beautiful, Y/N.”

He leaned in slowly, pausing with his lips just a fraction of an inch away from yours, so close you could feel his warm breath.

“Okay?” he asked, always the gentleman, giving you the chance to say no. You nodded and leaned in just a little to meet his lips with your own. A field of sunflowers bloomed behind your closed eyes at the feeling of his soft lips on yours. He kissed you gently, slowly, savoring every sweet second. You both tasted like peanut butter and somehow it was perfect.

It was over way too soon and you leaned your head back against the door, eyes closed and a small smile on your lips. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close.

“Wanted to do that forever,” he mumbled into your hair.

“Really?” You asked, opening your eyes in shock.

“Mm-hm. Why do you think I requested you specifically?”

“Because of my amazing assisting?”

“That was part of it, but from the day I first saw you, I couldn’t get you out of m’head.” Now it was his turn to blush, and you liked how it looked on him.

You could’ve stayed there forever, but as time ticked closer and closer to morning, you knew you had to make your escape. Harry insisted on leaving a $20 bill on the counter, scrawling a note on the back of a receipt.

Sorry!

xx Haz

“Harry! Don’t sign your name!” You scolded, snatching the pen from his hands

“I promised not to let you take the fall, and I’m not doing that, am I?” he asked, holding the note out. “Your name is nowhere to be found.”

After just a moment of hesitation, you grabbed the note from him, signing your own name beneath his.

& Y/N <3

And, if, the next morning, you happened to see that one of the kitchen staff posted a picture of the note on Twitter saying “omg harry and @y/n snuck into the kitchen together after the show last night! MY OTP!!!” with a string of heart-eye emojis, well, that was none of Harry’s business.

Part 4 │ Part 5 │ Part 6

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soullikestyles · 3 years ago

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I posted 1,398 times in 2021

243 posts created (17%)

1155 posts reblogged (83%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.8 posts.

I added 353 tags in 2021

#morgs chats - 125 posts

#harry styles - 101 posts

#fic rec - 62 posts

#niall horan - 13 posts

#stop - 12 posts

#harry concept - 9 posts

#summertimestyles - 8 posts

#please - 8 posts

#help - 8 posts

#yeah - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 85 characters

#cases are rising here again so i’ve implemented them where i hadn’t been wearing them

My Top Posts in 2021

CAN I GET AN OWA OWA????????????????????

23 notes • Posted 2021-02-10 03:14:30 GMT

hi friends!! I’m not sure if any of my followers are experiencing sub zero temps or power outages for the first time, but if you are here are some tips.

- put a sub zero sleeping bag in your car

- have packs of instant oatmeal or granola bars in your car (quick energy)

-have a pack of water bottles in your car

- have extra gloves, hats, scarves, blankets, hoodies in your car.

- clean out the tailpipe if there’s snow and ice in it. The exhaust can back up into your car and kill you

-if you are slipping on ice, don’t over correct and don’t slam on your brakes. Turn towards the snow bank and allow yourself to slide into the ditch.

-pump your brakes if you’re on black ice.

- do not try to keep up with traffic. Drive slow. Be cautious.

- keep 6 car lengths in front of you especially on icy roads

- don’t put boiling water on your windshield

- salt your walkway

-don’t turn your wipers on if it’s icy. Don’t use your washer fluid unless it’s subzero fluid. It will freeze

- don’t use high beams

-wear sunglasses, the snow is very bright

24 notes • Posted 2021-02-16 18:46:35 GMT

Happy New Year

Hello friends,

It’s 2021, and with the absolute shit show that 2020 was I’ve decided to shout out some of great people I’ve gotten to know here. If you’re not included, it’s not because I don't care or appreciate you. It’s because I’m an idiot and cannot remember URL’s.. I hope you all remember that although 2021 is a new calendar year, there are no rules. You don’t have to set resolutions, you don't have to try to get better, you don't have to burn yourself out. You are valid and loved as you are. I hope 2021 is a year of happiness and growth, as well as a year of love in all forms. Happy Fuckin’ 2021, we made it!!!!

Without further ado: @harryfeatgaga @trulymadlysydney @sunflowersupremacy @harry-is-my-medicine @harryandhockey @fromyourstrulyh @harryysstyless @bigspoonstyles @gucciwins @berrynarrybanana @harrymoncheri @goldenbluesuit @oh-honey-styles @tinyfelthat @harryforvogue @watermelonsighs @idkthisisjustforfanfic @harryinafield @canyon-moan @bfharry @wowweeharrystyles @no-business @smokeinherperfume @glimmerry @kind-heart @meetmeinfleetwood @stylishmuser @stellarboystyles @thesadstoryofme @c-h-e-r-r-y-y @harryadores @kiwicherryallaboutharry@harrysgoldrush @smilesfromabove @taintedwonder @brwnskin-bunnyteeth @tbslenthusiast @bouquetofkissesxo

38 notes • Posted 2021-01-02 02:00:42 GMT

The issue is not that I don’t get to marry Harry Styles. The issue is that my standard is Harry Styles.

49 notes • Posted 2021-01-30 06:02:23 GMT

In the 10 years I’ve been a fan, I’ve never seen him this happy. If you see me sobbing tonight… no the fuck you don’t.

Credits to the owner of this video.

308 notes • Posted 2021-11-22 01:54:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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fawnlilybotanica · 3 years ago

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Need some last minute gift ideas that everyone will love? 💚 From chai honey, homemade vanilla extract, and herbal infused salts to vanilla mint body scrub, lavender sugar, and spiced vinegars, here’s a little something for everyone! And, best of all, you still have plenty of time to make them! 🌟 Chai honey 🍯 : Flavored honeys are decadent and surprisingly simple to make! Imagine chai honey drizzled atop pancakes, buttered toast, oatmeal, granola, yogurt, or swirled into a cup of warm milk or chamomile tea... yum! Mix 16oz honey with 1 tsp cinnamon powder, 1 tsp ginger powder, 1/2 tsp cardamom powder, 1/4 tsp clove powder, 1/4 tsp allspice powder, and a tiny pinch of ground black pepper. Package into small glass jars for gift giving. Herbal infused culinary vinegar 🌿: Loosely fill a glass bottle with fresh or dried herbs and vinegar of your choice. Rosemary, chili peppers, thyme, garden sage, peppercorns, and oregano are lovely and tasty additions! Homemade vanilla extract ✨: Split vanilla beans lengthwise, place into a small glass bottle, and fill with vodka, rum, or whiskey. The ratio of vanilla beans to alcohol is 5-6 beans per 8oz of liquid. The extract will become better as it ages! Spice infused olive oil🌶: Loosely fill a glass bottle with chili peppers, a spoonful of peppercorns, a few bay leaves, and a spoonful of coriander seeds, then fill with olive oil. This gift will looks beautiful and will make stir fries and salad dressings extra special! Vanilla + Mint Exfoliating Body Scrub 🥰: Check out this recipe on our blog, it's super simple and so amazing for the skin! Herb or Spice infused salt 🧂: Mix 1 part dried herbs/spices with 4 parts salt and give it a quick whirl in a food processor (leave whole for a chunkier look). Use basil, chili peppers, chives, dill, garlic, oregano, rosemary and sage, or whatever you feel inspired by! Floral infused sugar 💐: The same process as above, but use lavender or roses. If you're not a fan of florals, then use chili peppers, cardamom, lemon verbena, orange peel, or cinnamon instead. #lastminutegiftideas #diygifts #herbalgifts #homemadegifts #naturalgifts #holidaygifts #fawnlilybotanica https://www.instagram.com/p/CXzZ2lHPkx2/?utm_medium=tumblr

#lastminutegiftideas #diygifts #herbalgifts #homemadegifts #naturalgifts #holidaygifts #fawnlilybotanica

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06isa22 · 4 years ago

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Late night Shinso headcanons

Just a few headcanons about what sleepy boi #2 does while he can’t sleep cause you know your boi has free time with the amount of sleep he isn’t getting

Boy he has done a lot in this free time, he probably has tried a lot of things to try and get to sleep

Has tried essential oils, white noise, tea, warm milk, calming music, boring himself to sleep, has probably even tried ASMR

Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t, spoiler alert it doesn’t work most of the time

He scrolls the internet and now has random knowledge in his head (Like how it’s illegal to own more then 6 *cough* Dildos *Cough* in Texas)

Also like Denki he finds memes and dark humor more funny

Probably had TikTok at some point and he just didn’t like it so he deleted it

He strikes me as someone who has tumblr and is part of so many fandoms just because of the amount of times he’s binged shows and read

He probably can go a two or three days without sleeping before he sleeps for 12 hours

During the time he doesn’t sleep he does homework and probably extra work/works ahead because whenever he knocks out he’s dead to the world

Back to the late nights, I do believe just out of boredom he does read x reader to some character he relates to, probably only fluff though

Has been to the deepest sides of the internet, his YouTube recommended page is a mix of Cat videos and other random things

Speaking of which he probably has random granola bars and water bottles in his room to which he will snack on around 1am

around 5am if he still hasn’t fallen asleep he will go out on a run because he wants to be a hero and he’s got to keep up

Probably has a stack of books somewhere in his room, yes he has read them all and yes he has another stack somewhere else of books he’s planned to read/is reading but doesn’t wanna finish yet

He most likely is super productive during the night just because no ones awake to bother him so he’ll have some music in the background while he’s productive

I don’t think his room is super messy but after awhile it’ll just build up and at 2am he just goes on a cleaning spree and would you look at that it’s cleaned

He has candles in his room and dang do those go by fast

Ya boi has tons of soft blankets and pillows, his bed is amazing (he wants it comfy to increase chances of sleep)

Has a fan in his room to keep it cold and whenever he gets bored during the night he probably puts random things on it

3am to 4am are the hours he picks up new things, boy now knows how to make origami boxes in 4 different ways

Has painted his nails (black in case you were wondering) around 11pm right before he slept for 16 hours (luckily it was a Friday) woke up and was very confused

Has done face masks, he doesn’t hate them (this was around 12am) he wanted to see if the helped with his eye bags

#shinso #shinsou headcanons #shinsou #bnha #mha #shinsō hitoshi

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aeirs-moved · 4 years ago

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🌷🍋🧃 my april faves 🧃🍋🌷

you thought that post about bringing monthly faves onto kinblr was a joke? you thought wrong <3 putting this under a readmore because it’s going to be long lol

>> animanga

🔅 netflix’s aggretsuko! i binge watched it this month and it was really good. wasn’t crazy about season 3 but i loved the first 2 :) i love retsuko and her horrible taste in men like i’ve never felt more seen. mental. i wasn’t too much of a fan of director ton’s redemption arc because like... i don’t know, like he starts off super misogynistic and horrible and it’s framed as something where he’s trying to push retsuko to do better? overall it’s super cute, though.

🔅 jujutsu kaisen! no big surprises here from tumblr user antigojos, but i’m enjoying it a lot. i love gojo but being in a room with him for over 5 minutes would make me go literally insane.

🔅 mob psycho 100! well, you know ;)

>> video games

🔅 love nikki. my ultimate guilty pleasure game. anime dress up with Plot. not super dependent on microtransactions for a free mobile game, i’ve spent 0$ on it and i love it! i contribute to the wiki every so often :)

🔅 spider solitaire. fun but it makes me feel like an old man. reigen arataka simulator 2021

🔅 skribbl.io. it’s a great place to practice my digital art. love the language learner/artist solidarity there. mostly a really sweet community <3

>> food & drink

🔅 nature valley’s peanut butter dark chocolate granola bar. it’s excellent like i’m literally obsessed. i don’t like most granola bars because i’m not a huge fan of dried fruit plus i don’t like super sweet granola bars because at that point i might as well eat a brownie for breakfast but it’s so good.

🔅 extra refreshers mint mix. ok it’s gum not food but you get the point. i still can’t really tell the difference between spearmint, peppermint, sweet mint and wintergreen but it has a pretty combination of green colors and that’s enough for me.

🔅 dole frozen mango chunks. ohhh my god so fucking good. the dole kind is better than the cub generic brand because the cub generic is rock hard but the dole kind has like, a softness to it that makes it so delicious.

🔅 starbucks espresso frap. so good it’s like a coffee slurpee. that’s it that’s the review.

🔅 hello kitty water bottle. ok so last year i impulse bought a hello kitty water bottle from target because i was depressed and it was 8$. i fucking loved that water bottle and used it constantly and then it got gross and i was so so sad. it was kind of janky and the print had a visible seam on it but it was hello kitty and that’s what matters. i go to target for back to school shopping and what do i see? the same hello kitty water bottle with an improved print and a mint strap! i bought it ofc and its so cute :)

>> fashion

🔅 wrangler relaxed fit black cargo pants. the poor man’s tripp pants. i bought them for 20$ at target and they’re so comfy and the pockets are huge. all i can think about is “but i told him i was masc :(” when i wear them fhdsjfh

🔅 gold toe knee high black socks. we couldn’t find the cheaper kind of long black socks that i usually wear (that look dope with rolled up jeans) and so we got the pricier kind and theyre sooo fucking soft <333 like i hate to plug brands but like. omg

🔅 pack of like 20 pairs of earrings i got for 5$ at five below. i don’t even think it has a brand name but there’s a lot of cute pairs in ther ^_^ like there’s like, moons, safety pins, stars, little fake pearls. it’s super cute <333

#ray.txt

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captaincravatthecapricious · 4 years ago

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Collapse- Prompt Fill

Jon is a Dune fan. How can picking up one book change things? Idea from a tumblr prompt and a post by @roseunspindle (permission was granted for writing this)

cw all the typical episode 160 stuff and references to nausea and of course manipulation and fainting. Some dialogue from 160, and a quote from Dune, of course!

I am still accepting bingo prompts (card by @celosiaa) Pick a prompt from the card and a character and let me know if you want art of fic! (I am much faster at art). I have several outlined that I need to write, and I will get to those... Soonish? Have an excellent day and I hope 2021 treats you well!

Jon isn’t sure why he grabbed the book. He’s read it before so it doesn’t hold the same interest it once did. He had to work on that reading habit of his in school, and now he’s managed a few rereads, but he still prefers the unknown and interesting.

But he did love this book when he read it. He was too young for it, of course. But that hadn’t mattered. He sucked the whole world into his young and greedy mind.

And now that glossy, second hand cover.... makes him pause over it. He doesn’t know how it survived evictions and his absences. He must have subconsciously stored it out of the way. But he grabs it, with a few statements, and his small collection of clothes into a very battered backpack that he’s sure once belonged to Melanie.

He wishes he had more books. Maybe once he and Martin reach the train station, he can pick up something else to read. Or maybe he can borrow some books from Martin….

He stuffs Dune into his backpack. It’s on the top, distending the fabric slightly, straining the zipper as his grandmother had always reprimanded him for when he shoved too many pleasure books into his school bag, (always to read under the desk and he was always inevitably caught and reprimanded again, but what could you do with an inattentive student who still pulled good marks?).

He boards the train with Martin. Battered and aging backpacks filled with worn clothes and statements and books and granola bars. The station had been loud and busy enough to send Jon reeling with the information spilling off a crowd of people as well as the less eldritch sensory overload. His head aching dully as they settle into their seats.

Medicine for motion sickness sends him drowsy as soon as it is effective. He spends the time before it works staring queasily out the window, clammy hands holding tightly to Martin as much to sooth his uneasy stomach as to hold Martin in this plain of reality. He nods off, hands still clasped with Martin’s. Wrapped up in the elation of having Martin with him, around him, talking to him…. almost safe.

He wakes up in a storm of hurried breaths and crashing thoughts…. precarious as the crashing waves that haunted the lonely, but far closer and more oppressive. Statements tumbling with his own crashing thoughts. Fear on his breath. His fear making him Hungry in the nauseous way of autocannibleism.

He presses his face into Martin, only just then realizing that he’s been using Martin as a pillow. Martin, who is dozing. Martin, who is still a little foggy. The last of the haze burning off with the contact. Jon can see the steam rising between them, mainly and gentle. The sun burning the fog off a meadow in the early morning.

Jon sits himself up, but stays pressed against Martin. The imprint of Jon slowly thawing Martin as the train gently sways them both.

Jon doesn’t want to sleep more. He would much prefer to read, but it is still more than a bit of a gamble for him to even medicated. But…. he’s bored.

Dune.

Right on the top of his bag. Leaning over starting to make him queasy (which doesn’t bode well for reading attempts), he pulls it out and straightens up.

He turns it over in his hands a few times, until his stomach settles. He’s fine. Just a few more minutes before the medicine works… probably anyhow.

He flips through the pages, still waiting for his breathing to calm as well.

Oh.

He remembers this words… in a half remembered haze of childhood and tracing those words on his limbs and his walls. With his eyes, and markers, and pencils. On the inside of his eyelids. Carved into the air about his bed as he repeated them to himself.

‘I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.’

Reading those words again makes his hands shake like they had when he first read them… with Mr. Spider fresh in his nightmares. Still missing the life he could never have with his parents.

Jon fumbles for a pen.

He traces them again on his forearm.

Poorly written, of course. Hands far from steady with the rocking of the train and the rocking of his stomach and the rolling of his world after the day he’s had. But he is once more too tired to focus on anything much, so he tucks his book away again, and shoves the pen in his pocket.

He tucks himself up against Martin again, using an old jumper as a blanket. He knows he is taking a bit of a liberty, but he buries his face in Martin’s neck and breathes deeply. He’s asleep again in moments.

The trip isn’t eventful. Lots of track clicking past. Lots of drowsy hours. A disappointing sandwich and a tasteless cup of tea. Jostled shoulders. Cramped restrooms. Cramped necks. Jon’s bad leg protesting the seating arrangements. Then the slightly uncomfortable walk to the safe house. Weighed down with hasty shopping and their lumpy bags. Jon limping more heavily by the time they drag themselves over the threshold.

In the domestic bliss, time stretches. Lazy afternoons on the couch Jon and Martin entwined stretch into years in the golden light of afternoon. Two weeks of cups of tea. Of trips to the store. Of statements that Jon goes through way too fast, try as he does to ration them. Frantic phone calls to Basira as Jon can’t make the trip to town anymore. More cuddling on the couch. Bickering over who does the dishes, over who makes the best eggs. Over what to have for dinner. Discussions of what counts as a sandwich and whether cereal is a soup. Jon being appalled that Martin eats cereal from the box directly with a spoon. Martin being horrified that Jon eats dry cereal from a bowl with a glass of milk. Playing footsie through dinner. “Yes Martin, another soup. Means less cooking.” Sloppy kisses over glasses of wine. Jon being too dizzy to go on walks. Jon retracing Frank Herbert’s words on to his arm. Over. And over. And over again.

“I must not fear…”

Until a package arrives.

It’s unassuming and labeled in Basira’s careful penmanship. If Jon expects to see tear-staines over a lost partner, he doesn’t see them.

Martin kisses him soundly, and leaves to take pictures of good cows.

Jon has been tucked up on the couch. Under a thick blanket. Finally in better spirits now that he has statements again, ready …so ready for his limbs to feel like his again.

He tastes copper as he started to read. The words don’t sit right in his mouth. Before he can even properly start… before his mind is lost to him, he can feel the wrongness building. And when the betrayal occurs, he can’t find it in him to be surprised or hurt. All he can feel is a hollow fear…. a hungry fear. Gaping and endless. Tearing into his skin as he tears at his clothes, his skin, the statement that does not belong to Hazel Rutter and has nothing to do with a fire. Aside from the fire in his throat and in his hand, and leaping from mark to mark as Jon learns what they actually are. A map of manipulation. A tool to make the actual tool. The wood and hammer and nails that make him the door. The door that he… that he. “ Come to us in your perfection.

Bring all that is fear and all that

is terror and all that is the awful

dread that crawls and chokes and

blinds and falls and twists and

leaves and hides and weaves and

burns and hunts and rips and bleeds

and dies!

Come to us.

I-“

“I…” Jon chokes. His eyes sliding helplessly over the room. Over many tokens of a happy life that he is never going to have. Because of this…. this… he can’t even call it a betrayal. His entire life has lead to this. Every unhappy moment. Every instinct he has ever had. Every poor choice. Every step another step towards the inevitable. His eye catches on a familiar cover. Somehow still glossy. Despite Jon having carried it around like a safety blanket for the last few weeks. And he catches those smudged and traced over words on his arm and he tears at himself, trying to stop.

“I…”

He chokes again. Around those last few words. The words that will wrench the thunder from the sky and rend it asunder.

“I…”

He breathes. Possibly for the first time since his hands ghosted over the unassuming manilla folder.

“‘I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.’”

His vision cuts out. He must have stood at some point, because he is falling. Stings cut. Nothing to manipulate. The puppet is broken.

He wakes with a head full of cotton, but a heart devoid of fear. There is a clarity in his limbs. But exhaustion sits heavily on his chest. He feels… clear. And real. And… like utter shit.

But the arms around him are solid and warm and smell like tea and toast and all the good things Jon can think of in the world. And even if Jon could bring himself to move… he wouldn’t have dreamt of doing so.

There is burnt ink in the air.

“Wha’?” Marble-mouthed. Heavy with the exhaustion of years of poor sleep, of running and fearing and the adrenaline crash of something horrifying being…over.

“It’s alright, Jon. Everything’s fine. I…. I don’t know how you did it, but you stopped reading… and I burned it. It’s gone. We’re okay.”

And Jon isn’t sure he understands…. but he doesn’t care. Because he is not afraid, and Martin told him that everything is okay. And he thinks… just Maybe. Just… maybe… that it might be.

He lets himself be tucked in. He lets himself sleep.

Jon takes up calligraphy. He hates it. Utterly despises it… but he becomes decent enough to write one thing for their mantel. In the safe house. Miles away from fear and Jonah Magnus… if the bastard is even still alive…

Framed in gold, traced out in neat and flowing calligraphy:

#the magnus archives #tma #jonmartin #fic #tma fic #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #dune #cw fainting #cw nausea #cw manipulation #my words #my fic #my writing #my art

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atiny-piratequeen · 3 years ago

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Dear Miss Fie, yesterday, I made up my mind to leave Tumblr. I even said goodbye to anyone. I hadn't logged out, so I got notifications. Against my better judgement, i decided to check it and ended up spending a good few minutes on it. When I saw what happened with your account, I'm very embarrassed. I feel mortified actually. That someone who hates me is going after you. I'm glad that Mr Lilac, Ms Atinyarmy and Ms yunhofingers whom I know defended you. I genuinely and wholeheartedly apologise. I was not thinking of deactivating. But if I do, maybe if do it this could end. I feel so awful. I just... I'm sorry.

I legit don't know why you're apologizing. Im sorry if this comes off weird sounding but you're not the first person I've defended and had hate anons come to my box and bark and woof at me from behind their little wall of anonymity. You wont be the last.

You and the dumbass "anon" following me are new to my blog so you dont know how i work here so I'll just tell you flat out what people who've been following me for a while already know;

There's not a single thing some fuckass on anon can say to me that will legitimately make me take them seriously. Ive always had the mentality that if you've got something to fucking say, you say it with your chest and people talking shit on anon are only solidifying that every time they spew whatever bullshit from their mouth, they're not even remotely ready to own up to the consequences of their own actions. They hide because they wanna talk shit and dont wanna have people tell others about their actions if they're an active blog, dont wanna be kicked from nets or blocked, dont wanna deal with other people dming them and sending them asks that are just as harassing or tear apart whatever they sent someone else.

Thats why anons send hate on anon. Because they're cowards.

This person deleted their blog. Made a whole new one, new email and all, and came back to me conviently the same day you said you'd leave to...? Continue making a fucking fool out of themselves. They literally didnt make me upset in the slightest yesterday and i can assure you my friends and i spent a jolly good time fucking laughing at them for their piss poor attempt to do so. They're my fan at this point, hope they kick back and read a few fics since they're already here swimming around my blog all in my business again.

And the thing about the bullshit display we saw yesterday is yall all got to see the same ignorant shit i was sending scs for in my dms. This person with their shitty grammar and their anti black ass mentality that lines up with some drunk ass white karen in walmart in 3am annoying people about "why cant it just be ALL lives matter" ass vibes. I can assure you. Not a single thing that stale granola bar yesterday said actually did anything to me.

You dont need to apologize for shit. If i was worried about someone coming to my blog and saying something to me for defending you, i would have went on anon to defend you, i wouldn't have dropped this blog instead of my main, i wouldn't have dmmed that person first when they were harassing you. I could care less about them being in my ask box and while i appreciate the others having my back, even if they didnt, i would've been fine handling Ronald McDonald the clown in my box just fine.

As I've said, you arent the first person I've stood up for and defended and suddenly had bitch ass anons in my box and you won't be the last. Thats just what Mama Fie does. Now stop apologizing on behalf of someone else's ignorance, drink some water, have a snack or a meal, and enjoy your day. Because baby i assure you, im doing just fine here.

#asks #vixenwerr #yea lol dont apologize for that i legit was laughing with the others in vc for like an hour #ive dealt with hate anons from the bean situation to the ksc situation to atiny voting to blm to-#like legit i dont care and this person here wasnt even a fraction as put together as some other anons im not worried about this fool #long post

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andreawetzels · 3 years ago

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Andrea's guide to Barcelona

I spent the past 5 months living and working in the beautiful and vibrant city that is Barcelona. I have written all my favourite spots in a small notebook, but I thought it would be a good idea to write it down once more. This time in the online world of Tumblr (so I can find it too in the future).

Favourite neighbourhoods:

El Born (lots of cool shops, think of concept stores and gift shops)

El Raval (a bit alternative, you can find various graffiti paintings)

Barrio Gótico (basically the heart of the centre)

Touristic Things:

La Rambla (not very special to me, but it’s nice to have seen it)

Placa de Catalunya (if you want to see the busiest square and shopping streets of Barcelona, then definitely go here!)

La Sagrada Familia (the most famous church in Barcelona of course, if you are under 30 and go on a Sunday after 16:00, you’ll get a discount, which means you can visit the church, go up on one of the towers ánd get the audio guide for 15 euros)

Park Güel (there’s a free nature park, which is great to walk around, but also make sure you visit Park Güel and take a photo on the famous bench)

Placa d’Espanya (walk up the stairs for a view of Barcelona)

Magic fountain (near Placa d’Espanya, fountain show with lights and music)

Camp Nou, FC Barcelona game (even if you don’t like football, it still is cool to watch a FC Barcelona game and experience the atmosphere)

Do the Gaudi houses tour (on your own, for free, look it up on the web and give yourself a tour!)

Swim & Chill

Favourite beach: Playa del Bogatell (bit more quiet, more locals there, less annoying people who want to sell stuff and a cleaner sea)

Piscines municipales Montjuïc (the olympic swimming pools of Barcelona, great way to cool off and get an amazing view of the city. Make sure to bring your own drinks and food because there aren’t really food places nearby. It’s also a good idea to bring a hat because there aren’t many shadow places.)

Parc de la Creueta del Coll (beautiful parc with small pool/lake, a lot of locals with small kids go there)

Vintage shops and markets:

Lost & Found Market (basically a big flea market, I wasn’t a big fan of it)

Two Market (everything only costs 1 euro, but the entrance fee is also 1 euro, if you go early you can definitely find something cool and cheap)

You will find most vintage shops on Carrer Tallers, like: Holala vintage, Flamingo, Flamingos vintage kilo, etc.

If you’re looking for new and second hand vinyl or cds, go to Revolver Records on Carrer dels Tallers 11. They also sell band shirts.

Palo Alto Market (great market every Saturday and Sunday with food trucks, clothing, lifestyle goods, live music and much more!)

Nature & Sights

Ciutadella park (a lot of green, also a lot of people who do work-outs there)

The Montjuïc (one of the most famous hills in Barcelona, there are also a lot of touristic things to visit there, my recommendation is to go to the Teleferico Barceloneta and take the cable car to the Montjuïc)

Tibidabo (visit the Basílica and go up on the tower for a fantastic view)

Bunker El Carmel (it is quite a walk, bring some food and drinks, go in the late afternoon and have a nice picnic while watching the sunset)

Parc del Laberint d’Horta (nature park to walk around, which also features a maze!)

Food & Drinks

En Ville (very fancy menu del dia, if you’re into that)

La Tagliatella (good and cheap chain Italian food)

UDON (cheap fast food, asian style, go for their variation of the menu del dia)

Spice cafe (best carrot cake in town, seriously!!! Also try their homemade raspberry lemonade, it’s very refreshing)

Federal café (great for brunch, nice poached eggs, also a good place to work at)

Surf House (especially great in summer, after an afternoon at the beach, have the burger, fries and mayo-mango sauce or the phi phi salad!)

Eyescream and friends (very cute shaved ice cream with little eyes on them, you can choose the ice cream flavour and two toppings. It’s super yummy, they have cute branding and it’s very instagrammable!)

Bacoa (if you like eating burgers, this is the place to go to!)

Maka Maka (also a great burger place, with a very nice looking exterior)

La Boqueria Market (thé food market in Barcelona, definitely worth a visit, buy a cup of fruit or a smoothie or try a macaron ice cream sandwich from MIMA Ice Cream)

Brunch & Cake (delicious and extremely good looking brunch food! They have two locations, one by the sea and one in the city. Be sure to come early, because it gets very busy and you’ll have to wait in line to get a table)

FOC BCN (great latin food and cocktails, but make sure to tell the staff if you don’t like coriander)

Cosmo bar (very hip and trendy looking bar with great food, amazing cakes and nice coffee & juices)

Café Cometa (same owners as Cosmo bar, same hip-trendy-quirky restaurant, but with more light and it’s a bit more relaxed. Try the munch brunch, you can assemble your own brunch plate)

Chök the Chocolate Kitchen (amazing donuts and cronuts, they have two locations, but not a lot of seats, mainly focused on take-away, try the Kinder bueno donut)

Trópico (healthy and tropical foods and AMAZING juices and smoothies, try the smoothie with pink dragon fruit!)

Ice Wave (they take cream, add your toppings and create it into ice-cream rolls, which is already a show to watch on its own, they also sell fantastic ice-cream crepes)

Gaudí Bakery (incredible cakes, also great to take-away, try the Red Velvet!)

Can Dendê (Very cute little brunch/lunch place, try the pink lemonade, bagel with salmon and waffle fries)

El Nacional BCN (bit more expensive, but definitely the most beautiful eating place with multiple restaurants inside, especially magical around Christmas time)

Granja Petitbo (restaurant with a vintage and hip looking decor, try the waffle with cheese, chicken, spinach and strawberries)

Syra Coffee (brilliant coffee, kind baristas and amazing sweet goods from Lukumas)

Flax & Kale (worth a visit for the healthy food lovers, try the pink salmon burgers, coconut yoghurt with fruit and granola or the banana bread, or ALL OF THEM)

Tapas tour (book yourself a tapas tour and learn more about the history and culture of Barcelona, while eating tapas at various places)

Museums and Art

MACBA Museu d’Art Contemporani (Keith Haring mural

Museu Picasso (

Disseny Hub Barcelona (if you’re into design, then go here! From graphic design to furniture, there often also are cool exhibitions)

Google online for a free street art tour (or find a tour yourself and go explore the city!)

CCCB (museum with contemporary art, last time I was there, they had three exhibitions going on, very interesting!)

On Placa d’Isidre Nonell, there’s a mural of two lips kissing each other, made out of small photos: “The sound of a kiss is not as loud as that of a canon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.”

Clubs, bars and parties

Brunch in the park/Brunch in the city (in the summer, there’s brunch in the park on the Montjuïc, which is really cool, in the winter it’s in the city, most of the time in Poble de Espanyol)

Sala Apolo (a lot of events, but especially concerts, I went to Allah-Las for example, very authentic venue)

Paradiso (if you go through the vintage fridge doors, you’ll find yourself a secret bar with amazing cocktails! Try the pineapple one)

Shôko (club which often has R&B, hiphop and classics playing)

The Lime House (cheap and strong mojitos)

The George Payne (Irish bar for a night of karaoke, they also sell a cheap black-out tray for 20 euros you’ll get: 2x Sex on the Beach, 2x Sangria, 1 caraffe of Vodka + Redbull, 2 shots Jäeger, 2 shots Tequila and 2 shots Sambucca)

Pacha (club if you’re more into techno/deep house)

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synthetic-ultramarine · 4 years ago

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so often when a story is created mostly or entirely by straight people, when they try to depict a gay relationship they will fall back on ambiguity - because they’re unsure about doing it right, or because they don’t want to leave their comfort zones, or because they don’t realize how stifling ambiguity can be to the LGBT audience. It always hurts my heart to see LGBT fans try to swallow another ambiguous ending.

If we use not having any food as a metaphor for lack of representation, I think representation from straight people is like if someone found a granola bar in their bag and gave it you; at best a small but genuinely kind gesture that does make things a little better, but at worst condescending and inadequate.

Whereas a queer story told by queer people is like a full home-cooked meal, you know what I mean?

I do think media representation is something that has had a disproportionate amount of attention focused on it On Here compared to other LGBT issues, because anything that is in some way relevant to fandom is inevitably going to get a lot of attention on tumblr, home of fandom TM. But I also think that seeing LGBT people and their experiences and their love directly and respectfully depicted can be a really healing experience and I want everyone to have that experience.

#anyway listen to freinds at the table

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inkedintothepaper · 4 years ago

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If I ever get famous, my fans are gonna find my Tumblr and just be like “Woah they were cringy.” And I’ll have to make an inspirational speech and be like “This was me, as you can see I was very cringy. Now I’m famous. I had no clue this was going to happen. I still don’t know what I’m doing. But that’s okay cause I’m not this person anymore.” And then my screen with just switch to a collection of weird things I have said.

The most notable quotes would be;

Someone needs to stop the Gopher Tortoise before it kills us all

Bill and Ted: Face the Music is the Pinnacle of Film

KAZOO KID HAS ARRIVED TO TAKE MY SOUL

My cat betrayed me for some plastic

Shhhh child, eat an granola

In all ways but legally, I’m Canadian. Therefore, I am other countries.

This is my cat Loaf Child and my cat Baguette Child, my name is Yeast Mother because I rise above it all

I don’t eat fish that’s canibalism

I CAN SEE ATOMS

My mom wants to know if any of you guys are llamas.

#shitpost #idk at this point #fame

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cilldaracailin · 5 years ago

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A Kind Of Magic

Thanks so much for all the lovely Tumblr love :) Here is some more for you all :)

“Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”

“Robyn I didn’t think I would ever say this to you but we are going to be late if you don’t hurry up!”

Taron put his brown patterned short sleeved shirt on over his black tank top, pulling it down, wincing as he did so, forgetting that his right side was very sore. He fanned the material out so it sat right on him and then sat on the bed to put his converse on. Robyn had been awake and up since seven after another restful night’s sleep, both staying to their sides of the bed during the night., Taron dozing a little longer until Robyn threw a wet towel on top of him. He showered while she made them a real quick breakfast of fruit, yogurt and granola, Taron having two cups of coffee to try and wake himself up, while Robyn got ready for work. He had slept for another glorious eight hours and was finally starting to feel more like himself hence why he moved to quick or fast, the injured part of his body protesting.

Before work Robyn had her appointment to get her stitches out and she was bringing Taron with her, so he could make his own appointment and he was waiting for her so they could make the surgery on time at nine.

With a groan he tied his shoelaces and stood up, cringing again but two hands kept him steady as his eyes closed for a second while he gained his balance.

“Did you take your pain killers?” Asked Robyn. She had watched him stand up too quickly as she left the bathroom and moved to support him with her hands on his waist.

“Yeah I did. They just take a while to… Whoa Robyn.” Taron had to take a step back, Robyn’s hands falling him as he took in her appearance. For the last two days, she had been wearing shorts and t-shirts and he had seen her in a smart casual work outfit but now she was dressed in a royal blue pants suit with a v-neck white top underneath, her hair pulled back in a low sleep ponytail. “Wow.” He repeated.

“Is it ok?” She asked him as she watched his eyes widen. “I have an important meeting this afternoon.”

Taron could feel those butterflies starting to appear again as he looked at Robyn, the chic suit hugging her curves in all the right places and he had to swallow the lump he felt in this throat.

“I feel so overdressed. I mean I have my work clothes but at the same time I work in a bloody creche so this is very much overkill but we have a serious reputation to uphold and we need the funding. That’s what the meeting is for. We want to overhaul our garden for the children but need funding to do it, so after lunch I have to go and meet the county childcare committee to discuss it.”

“No converse?” Was the only thing Taron could manage to say, noticing that she almost matched his height, whereas before Robyn’s head came to his chin.

“Ugh no. Heels.” She lifted the flared pant leg and showed him the platform blue t-bar heels she was wearing. “Bloody hate them but need to make an impression again. Got the funding last time so pulling out all the stops this time. It is ok right? Not too much?”

Taron shook his head. “No Robyn, it is perfect. You look…” Taron wasn’t too sure he could use the word ‘stunning’ but he very much wanted too. “… Very professional. I would definitely give you the money.”

“Thank you.” She took the step closer to him, admiring another pattern shirt that Taron owned. “I like this shirt. In fact, I love this shirt. You and print go so well together Taron.” She fixed the collar for him, pulling it out from the left side of his neck where it was curled under. “You ok? You’re quiet this morning.” She asked as she flatted down the collar, running her hands down his shirt, smoothing it out against his chest. Her fingers lightly touched the skin of his chest that was not covered by the material of his low-cut tank top underneath his shirt, his chest hair soft under her fingers.

“Yeah just feeling a bit sore.” He answered hoping it covered the shakiness in his voice, as his skin tingled where she left feather light touches. “You ready to go?”

“Yep.” She walked out of the bedroom, her heels clip clopping on the hardwood floors. “Phone, keys, purse and a Taron.” She turned and smiled his way. “Ok, let’s go.”

Together they walked out of the front door, Robyn punching in the alarm and locking the door behind her and into the early morning heat.

“Another beautiful day.” She said as she unlocked the car.

“Oh shit, my hat.” Said Taron suddenly after he had opened the car door. He had remembered his phone and his wallet but not his trusty hat.

“Your hat?”

“Yeah. Do you mind if I go back in and get it?”

“Your hat?” She questioned again.

“Yeah my hat Robyn. I just like to wear it in public places. Ya know.” He hoped she understood what he meant as raised an eyebrow to her.

“Sure, yeah of course.”

She unlocked the door for him and turned off the alarm, allowing Taron in to get his hat. He was back in second, his black hat on his head. “Thank you.” Robyn locked the house back up and the two got into the car.

“The doctors is actually beside where I work, Won’t take long at all.”

“Can you drive in heels?” He asked as he pulled down his hat further on his forehead.

“Yeah, even though I don’t wear them very often. I am very much a converse girl at heart. Are you sure you are ok Taron? You are really really quiet.”

What had started out as butterflies at seeing Robyn dressed up now had turned to slight anxiety at leaving her house, especially after speaking to Lyndsey about the media finding out what had happened. Although Robyn lived in a small town, news travelled fast through social media and he was nervous about leaving the comfort of her home. He felt Robyn take his hand as she drove down the small road once out of her drive.

“Don’t be worrying Taron. It’s in and out of the doctor’s office and then back here and you shall have the freedom to route through my house when I am not there.”

Taron felt a smile fill his face. “The whole house?”

“I have nothing to hide.” She said as she took her hand from his and back on the steering wheel so she could take a left turn. “Full access to my music, piano and treat press.”

“Treat press?”

“I have to keep some things secret. Can’t show you all my tricks on the first few days! You still have to see the pizza oven and projector screen.”

“Wait what?”

“You can try and find them when I am at work today.”

Taron’s mood lifted again as Robyn waited at the traffic lights, the woman sitting beside him, once again the reason why his apprehensions were eased beyond doubt.

“I will be doing that.”

“Go ahead. Like I said I have nothing to hide.”

“Even in your bedroom?” He looked at her raising an eyebrow.

“Especially in the bedroom.” She answered back.

It only took Robyn three minutes to drive to and park at the medical centre where the doctors was. Together they walked into the reception and waiting area, Robyn speaking to the receptionist at the glass window, while Taron stood close beside her, his hat low on his forehead as he tried to avoid looking at the patients waiting to be seen by the doctor.

“Great thanks.” Robyn finished speaking with the receptionist and turned to Taron. “We just have to wait a few minutes. They are running a little behind. Let’s go and sit.”

Robyn made her way to the seats down to the right from the reception window and sat down, crossing her legs, Taron following and sitting to her right. “It’ll just be a few minutes.” She repeated to him, taking the magazine from the chair next to her, flicking it open to look at the pictures.

“That’s ok.” Taron kept his eyes on his hands which he knotted together on his lap, his fingers nervously twisting around each other. The doctor’s surgery was cool but he could still feel beads of moisture pooling at the back of his neck and under the brim of his hat as his body started to break out in a little sweat.

“Hey Taron. Relax.” He felt her hand on his knee, stopping his legs from shaking. “It’s just the doctors.” Robyn had watched Taron’s body language quickly changed as he sat beside her, his head low and his hands fidgeting. It was when his left leg starting to shake that Robyn reached over to stop it from doing so, taking his hand in hers. “It’s not the hospital and it’s just a check-up. Once we’re done, you’re going straight back home to chill out and relax and sleep and I will be right there with you tonight.” She linked her fingers with his. “I will be with you the whole time here too.”

Taron wrapped his two hands around Robyn’s right one gently as he knew her hand was still slightly sore and bruised, leaving her left hand free to flick through the pages of the magazine on her lap, his eyes looking over her shoulder as she flipped the pages but she quickly closed the magazine over and threw it back on the chair where she had gotten it from.

“I hate those gossip magazines,” She said simply when he looked at her from under the peak of his hat. “I never buy them and never read them.” She placed her other hand on top of his. “You ok?”

“Yeah. Just got a little uneasy for a minute.”

“It’s completely logical Taron. The last time you were in a medical facility, it was a scary situation. I am sure it is bringing back some awful memories for you. I know I won’t be able to go near a 7/11 again.”

Taron laughed a little. “I will never go near a 7/11 again.”

“CVS or Walgreens from now on.” Agreed Robyn.

“How do you always know what I am thinking?” He asked.

“Woman’s intuition?” She suggested, getting a small laugh from him. “It’ll be a quick visit.”

“Yep I know.” Taron looked at her, the blue of the suit making her eyes stand out. “I like this colour on you.”

“Thank you. Fashion says certain body types can’t wear colour but whatever.”

Taron turned so he could look at her. “Hey if I followed that rule, I would be wearing black all the time. I love a bit of colour and certain body types? Are me and you going to have that conversation again right now? You pull this suit off beautifully.”

Robyn gave his hands a squeeze. “Thank you Taron.”

“Hi Robyn!”

She looked away from his piercing green eyes when she heard a voice excitedly call her name.

“Hey Beth!” She called back as a little girl with red hair came running to her arms open for a hug. Robyn, uncrossed her legs, took her hands away from Taron’s and accepted the squeeze the child gave her.

“Hi Taron!” The little girl opened her arms for a hug from Taron too and he hesitated looking to Robyn who gave him a nod before returning the light hug.

“Are you sick?” Asked Beth moving to stand beside Robyn. “And I like your suit. My daddy wears a suit but I love your suit. My daddy only had black suits, not blue ones like yours. You look very pretty Robyn.”

“Why thank you Beth and no I am not sick.”

“Is Taron sick?”

“No, he isn’t sick either.”

“David is sick. Mammy has to bring him to the doctor cos he has sore teeth.”

“Oh no poor David.”

“I will be late to creche today but Mammy says I will be there for snack. Will you be there for snack too?”

Robyn smiled. “Yes, I will. I might even come upstairs and have snack with you.”

“Ohh please! That would be fun and Taron, you can have snack with us too. It’s fruit and yogurt today.”

Taron smiled at the little girl. “Thank you Beth. Do you know that fruit and yogurt are my favourite?”

“Really? Mine too.”

“Beth!” A lady with hair the same colour as Beth’s came over with a toddler in her arms. “Robyn I am so sorry. She saw you and I told her to leave you be but I guess she came over anyway.”

“It’s ok Margaret. She’s just having a chat.”

“Robyn isn’t sick and Taron isn’t either but David is sick, isn’t he mammy.”

“Beth, please. Let’s leave Robyn alone. She doesn’t need you bothering her.”

Robyn saw the embarrassment creep into her mother’s eyes. “Margaret it’s ok, honestly. We love to have chats in crèche, don’t we Beth.”

“And hugs!” Added the little girl. “Do you like Robyn’s hugs Taron? Robyn always lets us give her hugs in the office.”

“I do like Robyn’s hugs Beth. She gives good ones.” Replied Taron, lifting his hat a little, so as well as looking at the little girl in front of him, he could catch Robyn’s eyes too, enjoying the small side glance she gave him.

“They are very cuddly. I like them.”

“Beth come on. Let’s leave Robyn and her friend be now. You got to say hello.”

“Ok mammy.” She turned to look to Robyn. “I will see you at snack time?” She asked hopefully.

“Yes you will. I will come upstairs to see you.”

“Yeah!” Cried Beth excitedly giving Robyn another hug.

“Ok Beth lets go. Thank you Robyn.”

Robyn gave Beth a wave as she made her way with her mother and little brother to the other side of the surgery sitting down with their backs to Robyn and Taron.

“You are so good with children you look after Robyn.” Taron took her hand again. “You just have this way with them and it is pure kindness and a gentleness. It reminds me of how you were with me in the 7/11, how you still are with me. When you speak to someone, they are the most important person in the room to you at that time. No wonder all those kids adore you.”

“Robyn Quinn?”

Robyn felt her heart flutter as Taron spoke but she looked away from him and to the receptionist who called her name through the glass window.

“Robyn, Doctor Greene will see you now. Taron can go with you too. He said that’s fine.”

She turned back to Taron with a smile. “That’s me and you.” She stood up keeping Taron’s hand in hers. “Doctor Greene has been my doctor since I was a kid and I will be with you the whole time.” Holding onto his hand, she helped Taron to his feet, his hand moving to his side as he stood up. “Why does it seem those ribs are not getting any better.”

“It’s just when I stand up. The movement hurts a lot.”

Robyn linked her arm with Taron’s and they walked towards the door that led to the corridor towards the doctor’s rooms.

“Room number four Robyn.” Called the receptionist. “Same as always.”

“Thanks Joan.” She pushed opened the swing door and headed towards the door with the number four on the outside. Stopping outside, she gently rapped on the door with her knuckles.

“Come on in.”

Robyn gave Taron an encouraging look as she opened the door.

“Robyn Quinn. It has been a long time since I have seen you in here.” Doctor Greene was a jolly dark-haired man in his late forties and met Robyn with a hug and smile. “You look fabulous!”

Robyn smiled. “Thanks Tony. You know how it is, meetings and what not.” She stepped back to Taron who was waiting apprehensively behind her. “This is Taron.”

“Good to meet you Taron.” Said the doctor as he shook his hand, Taron nodding in response.

“Here to get some stitches out Robyn?” He asked as he indicated for her to sit down on the chair. “Taron you can hop up onto the bed there and then I can give you a quick check over too.”

Robyn, left her keys, purse and phone on the doctor’s desk and waited with Taron until he was settled sitting on the edge of the bed, another hiss coming from his lips, his hands moving to his side once again. She took her suit jacket off and gave it to Taron to hold. “You mind?” She asked.

“Not at all.” He said taking her jacket from him and holding it on his lap, the faint smell of perfume filling his senses.

Robyn then took a seat on the chair as she was asked moving it so she was closer to Taron, knowing he was nervous about being anywhere near a doctor again, his hand within reach of hers.

“Right let’s have a look.” Doctor Greene pulled his chair over behind Robyn. “So, Miss Quinn, back from your adventures then?”

“Yeah I am.”

“Looks like you had some adventure.” Doctor Greene moved the small string of her top to the side of her left arm so he could carefully pull the dressing from her shoulder and examined the two stitches. “These are ready to come Robyn. It will take me two minutes. You will feel a light pinch.”

“Great.” She looked up to Taron, who had taken his hat off and left it beside him on the bed. She could see that nicely styled hair he had made an effort with that morning was now flat against his forehead but not for long as he ran two hands through his hair, nerves still fizzing through him. She reached over and placed a calming hand on his knee. “Breathe.” She whispered his way, looking at him, Taron giving her the smallest of smiles, one that took a lot of strength to muster up.

“What on earth did you get up to Robyn? Looks like you and Taron have been through hell.” Doctor Greene hadn’t missed how his patient had moved to place her hand on the man’s knee who sat anxiously on the bed as he pulled on some gloves.

“Just in the wrong place at the wrong time Tony.”

“Sounds like you alright Robyn.” He replied. “This one here has always been a bit of a trouble maker.” Doctor Greene looked to Taron. “Gave her mother and father a good few heart attacks as a kid.”

“And we don’t need to go into detail about…” Robyn stopped talking with a grimace as the doctor eased the first stitch out, an exhale of pain leaving her lips.

“Robyn?” It was the first time Taron had spoken since he walked into the doctor office, his hand taking hers from his knee, not liking how her eyebrows furrowed with the slight pain she felt.

“Sorry Robyn.” Apologised the doctor.

“Light pinch?” She offered wincing as the second stitch was taken out. “I’m ok Taron. Just not prepared for that.” She looked to him as he held her hand, worry etched in his eyes.

“All done. I am going to cover this Robyn and I want you to keep it covered for another week. Don’t put pressure on the wound or lay on your shoulder either.”

“I am not looking forward to getting mine out.” Admitted Taron as he held Robyn’s hand tightly in his. “Not after seeing your reaction. I have a lot more than you.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” She said looking at him.

“Right ok. So, you didn’t give my hand an extra tight squeeze when the doctor took the second stitch out?”

“Maybe.”

“Robyn your body feels a little warm. No signs of a cold of flu in the past few days?” Asked Doctor Greene as he fixed the strap of her top.

“Tony we’re in the middle of a bloody heat wave at the moment. I think everyone is feeling a little extra warm.” Robyn stood up and turned to look at the doctor. “Thank you.” Taron handed her back her suit jacket, but Robyn didn’t put it on, leaving it on the bed beside him. Her top was tucked neatly into her trousers and it was a shaped top Taron hadn’t seen her wear yet and the V-neck only flattered her figure, Taron’s nerves turning again to butterflies. She stood beside him. “Right your turn.”

“Yes indeed.” Doctor Greene came over to stand beside the two. “So, Taron. Robyn explained to Joan at reception that you have your own set of stitches and a head wound that needs to be checked over.”

“It’s only been nine days since I got my stitches in but because I am staying with Robyn I just wanted to see when I would need to get them out because I would be here and not at home and make an appointment to do so.”

“Yeah sure that’s no problem at all. I can have a look for you. The stitches are here?” Asked the doctor as he gently took Taron’s right arm, seeing the white dressing under the sleeve of his shirt. Taron nodded. “Ok well let’s get this shirt off you first and then you can lay back on the bed for me and I can examine your head and arm.”

Taron moved to take his shirt off but stopped with a grunt and wince. “Hey, let me.” Robyn took over from Taron’s hands and eased the shirt over his shoulders and down his back carefully, lifting his left arm first so she could slip the material off before moving in front of him and slid his shirt fully off his right arm, leaving him in his black tank top. She folded it neatly and placed it on top of her jacket on the bed.

“Thanks Robyn.”

“Any time.” She placed her hand on his left shoulder.

“Finding it hard to move Taron?” Asked Doctor Greene as he watched his face frown as Robyn very cautiously took his shirt off, Taron allowing her to do it with no question.

“My ribs are a little tender.” He answered. “They are very bruised. Makes my movements a little slower but sometimes I forget and move too fast.”

“Well let’s have a look at you. Pop your legs up and shuffle back for me.”

Robyn lifted their clothes and left them on the chair she was sitting on before turning back to Taron. He had already lifted his legs up onto the bed and was gradually moving back bit by bit until he was able to lay back on the bed. Robyn gently sat down at his legs, placing a hand on his knee, staying out of the way so Doctor Greene could examine him properly.

Taron closed his eyes, concentrating on Robyn’s presence at his legs as the doctor placed his hands on his forehead. “Your head is healing really well Taron. I am going to leave the steri-strips though. It still needs some more time to knit together. I am going to look at this cheek now.”

A ringing phone interrupted the silence as Doctor Greene looked at the bruising on Taron’s face.

“Shit sorry.” Robyn moved from the bed and picked up her ringing phone from the desk, her work calling her. “Taron, I need to take this call.”

“Robyn?” He opened his eyes and lifted his head.

She moved to stand at his legs again. “I will literally be two minutes. It’s Emma and probably about the meeting this afternoon. I will be right outside the door. Ok?”

“Yeah ok.”

She gave his knee a light squeeze. “Two minutes.” She repeated before answering the phone call and leaving Taron with the doctor.

“She is a fire cracker that Robyn.”

“Yes, she is.” Agreed Taron closing his eyes as the doctor carefully turned his face to the left.

“You two known each other long?” Asked Doctor Greene as he pressed his fingers delicately as Taron’s cheek, stopping when his patient jerked as he hit a very tender spot. “Sorry Taron. You really got a beating, didn’t you?”

“Glass candles and a shelf.” Doctor Greene stopped, confused so Taron continued. “Robyn and I were caught in the middle of a store robbery and a shelving unit full of glass candles was pushed over and I just happened to be behind the shelf. Also got shot in the arm with a bullet.”

“Lovely. It’s just going to take time for the bruises to heal. They are going to be awfully painful for a while. You were in Florida with Robyn?” Asked the Doctor as he moved to Taron’s arm.

“I only met Robyn in Florida in the shop that was robbed. She came to help me.” The doctor stopped unravelling the bandage on his arm. Taron saw the same surprised in this doctor’s face that he had seen in everybody else’s who found out he had literally known Robyn for over a week. “We’ve kind of bonded over something unfortunate.” Taron didn’t explain any further. Not everyone needed to know the extent of what Robyn had done for him.

“Let me guess, she went head first into helping you without question?” Taron nodded, watching as the doctor placed a hand under his upper arm to inspect the stitches, his thumb brushing over the edge of the wound. “Been like that since she was little. Never one to step back in a crisis.”

“I see you are breaking all boundaries of patient doctor confidentially Tony.” Robyn walked back into the room, less than a minute after she had left, walking over to the two men. “Taron doesn’t need to hear about those accounts of childhood days gone by.” She moved to sit at his legs again.

“Don’t worry Robyn. I won’t say a word.” Grinned the doctor.

“Everything ok with work?” Asked Taron, trying not to show how relieved he was that Robyn was back sitting beside him.

“Yep all good. The time of my meeting had been changed and Emma just wanted to let me know. It’s at twelve now instead of three. So Tony, how does he look?”

“The stitches will have to stay in for a few more days. You said you have had them for nine days?”

“Yep. Since last Saturday.”

“Ok well let’s give it to the end of the week Taron. Same as your head, you are healing well but that wound is still a little raw. If you come back to me on Friday, those stitches will be ready to come out and I can change the steri-strips on your head too. Robyn I am sure you can make the appointment for him with Joan.”

“Yep will do.” Agreed Robyn.

“You were given some antibiotics and pain killers from the doctor or nurse who cleaned you up?”

“Yeah I was.”

“Make sure you keep taking them. I am sure the pain killers you were given are quite strong, so it will keep the pain at bay and keep this arm wrapped up. There is no need for the bandage now, the dressing alone will keep the wound clean.” Doctor Greene carefully covered Taron’s stitches back up with a crisp white dressing. “Make sure you finish the prescription Taron.”

“Don’t worry, he will.” Answered Robyn for Taron.

“I will.” Taron repeated. “And I was given a repeat prescription for the pain killers.”

“Take advantage of that Taron. I can see the fallout from what happened and it looks painful and sore. The pain killers are there to make everyday tasks easier. Knowing Robyn as well I do, she is helping without a doubt, but the prescription helps in ways she can’t.” Doctor Greene flashed Robyn a smile. “Have you tried her key lime pie yet? I take that grin as yes. It’s good right?”

“It is quite tasty. She makes a good lemon meringue pie too though.” Taron smirked Robyn’s way, grinning as he felt her gently slap his leg.

��She brought me a full key lime pie after I told her she needed to go to the hospital to get her appendix out.”

“I brought you that pie as an apology because I cursed you to hell and back after you told me I needed to go to the hospital.” Robyn looked to Taron. “I was supposed to be taking to the stage for the musical societies annual review but obviously couldn’t do so and I was devastated because it was my first time getting to sing solo for the society. I gave Tony a bit of grief over it so baked him a cake to make up for it.”

“Watch out for her. She bribes people with her baking but judging by your face she has already done so with you.”

“She gave me cookies.”

“Aww those second place cookies.” Laughed the doctor. “Missed out there Robyn didn’t you. First place so close but yet to far!”

Laughter filled the room but Taron’s turned silent quickly as he laughed too deep, the motion triggering a ripple of quick agony through his side, Robyn’s hand joining his on his ribs. Taron took a tentative breath through gritted teeth.

“Mind if I take a look Taron? I have seen you flinch a few times since you have been here.” After Taron agreed, Robyn and the doctor switched places, so Robyn stood at his shoulder, Doctor Greene having full access at his side. “I am going to move this top up.”

Cold fingers grazed his waist as the doctor inched the material of his top up and Taron felt a small shiver run through him with the contact. “No wonder you are struggling.” Doctor Greene placed a hand on Taron’s side, the young man under him immediately protesting with the pressure as his back arched a little off the bed. “Easy easy. Sorry Taron.” The doctor lifted his hands from Taron’s body. “I will go a little gentler this time.”

Robyn mover closer to Taron, sitting carefully at his shoulder, her left arm moving around the back of his head so she could place her hand on his left shoulder, his head cradled a little into her side. As her right arm encased his, fingers linking together, Taron was very grateful for Robyn’s company at the top of the bed, the skin to skin contact from their bare arms helping to soothe the tension in his body.

“You got quite a hammering Taron.” Doctor Greene examined dark purple and black bruising that covered a significant portion of his ribs, the discoloured skin travelling around to his back. “These are going to take some time to heal. You’ve been taking it easy?” He asked looking to Taron, not missing how Robyn had him gathered in a half hug.

“Yes, I have. Really not been doing much at all.”

“Let’s keep it that way. You are going to feel the extra effort it takes to do the most simplest of things for a long while, particularly moving to sit and stand. Unfortunately, there is nothing else I can prescribe you to take the pain away but I am sure Robyn has some arnica cream at home which will help with the tenderness a little. Not a miracle cure but can help somewhat with the bruising. Otherwise I am afraid there is not much else I can do.” Doctor Greene pulled Taron’s top back down.

“That’s ok. I know I am lucky that they are not broken.”

“You had the luck of the Irish with you in Florida with Robyn.”

“Oh dear God Tony.” Robyn looked down to Taron’s face, a grin on his lips. “And now the puns begin.”

“Robyn’s my lucky charm.” Pitched in Taron, enjoying how her cheeks slowly stained pink.

“Not you too! I thought you were on my side here.”

“Oh I am. Sometimes it’s just nice to watch you squirm a little. I don’t see it very often.”

“Ahh right I see how it is here.” She gave Taron’s bare left shoulder a squeeze before she removed her arms from him. “I will remember this next time you want cookies and a head massage!” She laughed as she played ruffled his hair before standing up, Taron swotting her hand away.

“Taron you look good considering what you have been through. Time will be your friend. I am sure the doctor in Florida has already explained this to you but nothing too strenuous and lots of rest. Other than that, you are in very capable hands. Come back and see me on Friday and we can check you over again.”

“Yeah sure. Thank you.” Taron carefully sat up on the bed and turned so he was sitting. “It’s nice to hear some good news.”

“Anytime. Robyn, a pleasure as always.”

She smiled as she took Taron’s shirt and her jacket from the chair. She put her jacket on the bed beside Taron and opened his shirt, holding it so Taron could slip his right arm in first but he shook his head at her. “I am just going to leave it off.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Too much effort at the moment.” Taron knew the drive back to Robyn’s house was quite short and he didn’t want to waste energy he didn’t really have on trying to get his shirt back on even with Robyn’s help and as the sun belted through the glass windows of the doctors office, he felt hot and uncomfortable and was happy to pull his hat back on and hold his shirt.

Robyn followed Taron’s lead and threw her own jacket over her arm and picked up her belongings from the desk. “Thank so much Tony. We shall see you Friday.”

Taron carefully hopped off the bed and followed Robyn out of the doctor’s room, both heading back to reception. He stood close beside her again as she spoke to Joan at the glass window about making him a new appointment. He felt a bit silly for being so nervous, when everything had gone smoothly as he knew it would but it was easy for the dread to overcome him as flashes and memories crowded his head from his time in hospital.

“Ok we’re good to go. Appointment sorted for Friday lunch time.”

“Thank you Robyn.”

“No problem at all.”

They walked out of the surgery and to her car and within five minutes, were back at her house. She let them in and walked straight over to the coffee table and turned on the air condition for Taron. “It won’t take long to cool down.”

Taron left his shirt on the island in the kitchen and walked over to her, feeling the breeze on his skin. “I will never tire of this.”

“You were looking a bit flushed in the surgery.”

“I normally don’t mind the heat but for some reason it’s really getting to me, in Ireland of all places.”

“It is just the circumstances Taron. Your body is doing a lot of hard work at the moment to repair itself.”

“Thanks for sitting with me in the doctors Robyn and making sure I didn’t freak out too much.”

“My pleasure but don’t feel stupid for being a bit nervous Taron. We have been through a lot and those every day mundane tasks for others, are harder for you and me at the moment because of what happened. Like Doctor Greene said, it just takes time.” She looked to her watch. “Now I hate to love you and leave you but I did promise Beth that I would have snack with her and snack is at ten.”

Taron smiled. “She is cute.”

“She’s a very cute little kid.”

“And yes of course, you have to get to work.”

“Now you have the full freedom of my home ok? Chill out, watch TV, sleep, eat and relax.” Robyn turned to him. “I won’t be home for lunch today because of the meeting and I won’t be home home until half six this evening but if you need anything you have the creche’s number and you have mine too. Just call me. My computer is on the couch if you need to use it. There is no password.” With her heels Robyn was able to look Taron directly in his eyes without having to stretch her neck a little and she could see now that his eyes had a slight hue of brown in them, something she hadn’t noticed yet. They were bright yet intense and for the first time Robyn saw no hint of pain or discomfort but even though he had been sleeping, his face still looked tired, the dark circles under his eyes etched deep in his skin and he still looked a little rattled after being in the doctor’s. “Taron I can stay if you want me to. Emma can go this meeting.”

“Absolutely not. I know the last time you left me I was sleeping but I think I will be ok for a few hours by myself. I knew when I came to see you that you would be working and I won’t be a distraction from your work and Beth will be devastated if you don’t have snack with her. I am going to be ok here.” Taron placed his hands on her bare shoulders, her skin very warm under his touch. “You have been a rock for me these last few days but I will be fine here Robyn. I plan to stretch out on your couch, eat from your fridge and route through every drawer in your house!” Robyn laughed. “If I do need you, you are only a phone call away. Now please go and show off the effort you made to dress up in this wonderful pants suit. You must not let it go to waste.” Taron smiled at her and stepped closer to give her a hug. “You look fierce and will definitely get the funding and if you don’t, tell them that you have a very good friend who can shoot three arrows at once.” He enjoyed the giggle he felt against his shoulder from her.

“Thanks Taron.”

“Go and kick arse my little Irish good luck charm.”

Robyn groaned as the broke the hug. “Ugh that one’s sticking isn’t it?”

“Well I could change it to my little Irish chicken!”

Robyn definitely loved Taron’s cheeky grin and belly laugh the best. It made his whole face light up beautifully, his eyes shining in the early morning sun, his lips in a huge ear to ear grin.

“I need to get a nick name for you.” She pondered as he laughed some more. “Leave it with me.”

“I thought I was your rocketman?” Questioned Taron. “I mean it’s what you called me in your first letter and you drew me a picture of a stick man in a rocket.”

“Ahh yes. I did, didn’t I. Rocketman.” She half grinned at him. “I had better go. I know you will but please make yourself at home.”

“Thank you Robyn.”

With another confirmation that Taron would ring her if he needed too, Robyn left him and walked out the door back to her car. She had a busy day of work ahead of her but knew it was going to be hard to concentrate. When she needed to be thinking about attaining the funding for the creche all she could really think of were the beautiful green eyes she had left in her home.

#Taron Egerton #Taron Egerton Fanfiction #Taron Egerton Fanfic #Taron Fanfic #friendship #Loyalty #love #Pants Suit #Doctors #Anxiety #Trust

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