#grandpa's stash

[lbseedco]

The Moonshine Ghost Train - lb seed co.

The Moonshine Ghost Train strain by LB Seed Co is a potent hybrid with a unique blend of genetics. Known for its high THC content, this strain offers a powerful, cerebral high accompanied by calming body relaxation. Its lineage combines the best traits of Moonshine Haze and Ghost Train Haze, resulting in a flavor profile rich in citrus, pine, and earthy notes.

[looking-with-you]

Smokin @ the lake (slightly different vibe)

[fisheito]

based on @winterdesu's comment..... ON THE COSPLAY POST (The snipao won. I thought about it😐)

[fretbored34]

* may contain pics of grandpa's porn 'stache

[marypsue]

In my stints in fandom for The Lost Boys, I've noticed that (for obvious reasons) it tends to attract people for whom the boys are wish fulfilment. And like, that's so fair, I respect literally all of you people, but also, I think I've reached a point in my life where I can comfortably admit that the real wish fulfilment in that movie is Grandpa.

[flamesleafsjetscanes]

by some miracle i am not hungover thank you alcohol gods

[antennatoheaven]

my sister showed our grandparents my art account when i made a separate one my family can follow and now i'm considering burning it all down to the ground and moving my art instagram

[coquelicoq]

[ID: Panels from chapter 96 of Natsume's Book of Friends. Isamu says, "Once you were born, things got so busy. And Grandpa started to get sick...in my loneliness, I forgot all about it." In a flashback to Isamu's childhood, their grandfather shows Isamu a bookcase and says "Isamu...there's a secret cabinet behind this bookcase. You can't get to it by yourself. You have to work with someone else to move this bookcase. Okay. Let's hide the present for the new baby in this secret place." /end ID]

[ID adapted from alt: Pages from chapter 115 of the Natsume's Book of Friends manga. Natsume kneels on a ladder to look through a small hole in a mask near the ceiling. Natori asks, "Can you see anything?" Natsume says, "It's fitted with a lens. The perspective is narrow…is it a picture? I see a white camellia flower." Natori, who's standing near a mirror, says, "White camellia…of course! That mirror must be visible from there. And…the mirror reflects the next room over. A wooden tile mural of white camellia on the wall…All the flowers look the same." He touches one of the flowers in the mural. Natsume says, "The eye only sees one. That one!" Natori says, "This flower…" as he pushes on it, and exclaims when it clicks. He says, "It becomes a handle when you push it in. A hidden cubby unique to this house…" /end ID]

so natori on purpose went to his uncle's house and put himself under the thrall of a youkai because he thought that the house held a secret that could possibly help natsume with the book of friends. as a failsafe he asked natsume to come snap him out of it if he wasn't able to break free, which natsume was happy to do. natsume then insisted on staying to help natori look for the house's secret (not knowing what natori wanted it for), and in the end the secret was hidden in such a way that it could only be found by two people working in concert - one to touch the wall, and one to look through the mask and tell them when they were in the right area. aw. the power of friendship! they really have come so far.

[samar-arijjj]

Once I was on the bus home and this freshman sitting next to me looking really sad so I asked him why he was so upset and he told me that his grandpa shot himself. But like, I thought he said his grandpa shat himself so I started laughing. So, uh, moral of the story is don’t laugh. Ever.

[lbseedco]

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[jadeoru]

shame marathon! - iwaizumi x reader

after begrudgingly agreeing to see the minions movie with his friends, he hoped no one would see him in this state: dressed in small denim overalls, with yellow face paint sloppily smeared all over his face.

unfortunately for him, the person serving him popcorn was exactly his type.

warnings: minions. this is so stupid lmao, iwa dressed like a minion, terrible jokes, deadpool is awesome, awkwardness, cursing, terrible flirting, clu declared this silly and whimsical!!, fluff! wc: 2.8k

a/n: this is entirely self indulgent i work in a cinema and was overwhelmed by the amount of grown people dressed as minions LMAO ^__^

Iwaizumi had never felt true shame until now. His denim overalls were far too small for him, so he walked cautiously - scared that if he flexed his biceps even slightly, the buttons would pop off. He regretted every action he made that led him to this moment. Embarrassment heated his face as he watched his friends enthusiastically hide their candy stash in their pockets. They looked ridiculous: sporting the same overalls as he was. At least theirs actually fit them. Their faces were poorly painted yellow, and some of them (Bokuto and Hinata) even went as far as to wear goggles. He buried his hands in his pockets, silently hoping that even by only covering his hands, somehow, magically, the rest of him would be hidden too. With a tap on the shoulder, his shame was quickly put on hold, now focusing on his yellow best friend, Oikawa.

“Oh come on grandpa, lighten up. Would it kill you to have fun?” He nudged him with his elbow, and Iwaizumi groaned in response. “Why are we even seeing this movie? We’re grown fucking adults! This is- this is ridiculous!” He released one hand from the security of his pocket, running it through his hair, trying to wipe away the sweat that had formed. “Excuse you! Minions is a cinematic fucking masterpiece. I will not let the fact that I'm an adult get in the way of enjoying art!” Bokuto chirped in, his expressive face wonderfully displaying the excitement that surged through him. Iwaizumi’s voice decreased in volume, a clear sign of giving up. “Did we have to go out in public like this? Why couldn’t we have just, i don’t know, stayed home?” as much as he tried to persuade his socially fearless friends to just go home, to spare him the embarrassment of someone he knew seeing him in this state: dressed like a fucking minion, nothing he said would change their mind. “Because it’s funny! And imagine the look on kids’ faces when they see a whole group of minions pulling up to the movie!” It was Hinata's turn to convince him now, flexing his muscles in a half-hearted manner as he spoke, trying to ease iwaizumi’s woes. He wasn’t having any of it. “We shouldn’t be there anyways! It’s a kids movie!” he waved his hands in the air, exasperated, desperate to help his friends realise how utterly ridiculous they were.

Did they fear nothing? Was social anxiety a foreign concept to them? Kuroo slung his arm around his shoulder, a lazy grin stretched onto his face. “Dude, the minion costume isn’t gonna kill you. Plus, we’re all wearing one too so you aren’t alone. Quit complaining and have fun, loser.” He wiggled Kuroo off of him and rolled his eyes. “I agreed to do this when I was high! Now that I have a clear mind, obviously I don't want to do this! You guys totally took advantage of me!” His friends slowly inched further from the car as his complaining progressed. By the looks of it, he had about one minute to convince everyone to just go home, otherwise they’d already be inside the cinema.

Oikawa looked at him from over his shoulder, waving him over to catch up with them. “I’m sorry that your post-nut clarity is biting you in the ass right now, but quit being a wimp! You’re the big strong hunk of the group, you’re supposed to be fearless! Imagine what the ladies would think if they knew you were scared of minions!” his teasing words caused his anger to overpower his shame, quickly speed walking to catch up with everyone. “I’m not scared of the fucking minions!” he shouted at Oikawa, who’s head was turned away from him, holding in a laugh at how ridiculous his once-terrifying best friend looked. The whole group looked like a bunch of jaundiced babies. Everyone struggled to contain their laughter. Before he knew it, they were at the doors of the cinema. “Come on!” Hinata shouted, shoving everyone, including Iwaizumi, through the doors; not giving him a single second to turn around and make a run for it.

Trying to bury his shame, he let out a groan. Looking to his left, both Bokuto and Hinata were bouncing with excitement; their eyes scanned the prices of popcorn. As he thought of it, he realised their personalities were eerily similar to the minion’s. Now that they looked the part, he realised this was the closest he’d get to seeing the real thing. He smiled at that. Okay, maybe this wasn't so bad. Maybe he should just have fun. With his hands on his hips, and that small smile on his face, he inserted himself back into the conversation his friends were having.

“Ew. you look terrifying when you smile.” Oikawa laughed, immediately making his newly found confidence plummet. “Fuck you! You don’t look so hot yourself, shittykawa.” He could feel the vein on his forehead throbbing with annoyance. “Not true! I make a gorgeous minion! I’m like Bob, the cute one!” He winked, Shoyo quickly jumped in. “Nuh uh! I wanna be Bob! He’s the little one right? I meet all of the Bob criteria!” Kuroo let out a laugh, “Sorry Oikawa, Hinata is way more of a Bob than you are. You’re definitely a Stuart.” Iwaizumi could’ve sworn he saw Oikawa’s eye twitching at that comment. He slowly turned his head to face Kuroo, giving him the nastiest dirty look he’d ever seen. “Tetsurou, with all due respect, I hope you wake up in the morning and there are fucking skid marks in your bed.” Oikawa spat his words at Kuroo as if they left a bad taste in his mouth. He hit him in the chest with his finger, poking him repeatedly to add to his threat. “Clearly you haven’t done your research before you showed up today because I am literally Bob in human form!” Oikawa whined. Iwaizumi let out a cackle that quickly silenced the group. “He’s right, you are absolutely a Stuart.” he spoke through laughter. Oikawa looked at him with betrayal in his eyes. “Well if I’m Stuart, then that makes you Kevin.” Iwaizumi’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? I’m not Kevin.” Bokuto chuckled, “You are absolutely Kevin!” his eyebrows furrowed, “How?” He got a smile in response. “Well, for starters you have an abnormally stretched head, you’re a know-it-all, and you take care of everyone. Face it bro, you’re Kevin the minion!” Iwaizumi gritted his teeth. “What’s wrong with my head? It’s shaped completely normally, prick!” he shouted, garnering the attention of the surrounding children. “It’s definitely Kevin shaped!” Whatever. 

He scoffed, not wanting to lose any more brain cells from this conversation than he already had. He looked at his watch. 9:21pm. 9 minutes until the movie started. “Let’s just get our tickets and get this over with.” He mumbled, catching a glimpse of himself in the reflection of his watch: his yellow face in all of its glory. Oikawa stopped him before he could begin walking, taking a step in front of him. “Not without popcorn! We can’t watch a movie without popcorn!” He yelled dramatically, more people around them started staring. Iwaizumi wanted the ground to swallow him whole. “Let’s get your stupid popcorn then.” he grumbled, placing a firm hand on his friend’s wrist, Oikawa quickly yanked it away. “Can you just get it for us? I wanna take pictures of us before the movie starts!” He smiled, pulling his phone out and fixing his hair in front of the camera. “So you’re gonna make me talk to the staff on my own? While I look like this?” he huffed, staring at him with irritance. “Trust me this is not your worst look, Iwa. Remember your bowl cut phas-” he cut him off with a nudge to the back, bumping him forward with his elbow. “Shut up! Fine, I'll go. What kind of popcorn are we getting?” He massaged his temple with his fingers in an attempt to soothe the headache that was forming. “Butter!” Hinata shouted, Kuroo nodding behind him. “Gross! Get salted!” Bokuto shouted back, sticking his tongue out; feigning disgust. Oikawa, the tie-breaker, looked at Iwaizumi with shrugged shoulders. “Just get one of each, I’ll pay you back.” Iwaizumi glanced at his watch again. 5 minutes until the trailers started. “Whatever.” he muttered under his breath, quickly turning on his heels and making his way towards the counter.

He was so focused on being fast and time-efficient he almost forgot that he was dressed up like a minion. He almost forgot how stupid he looked. And as he reached the counter, a line quickly forming behind him; leaving him with no chance to flee,

He saw you.

In front of him, stirring nacho cheese with your back facing him, he watched in silence. Maybe it was the shame of seeing your reaction to his current state, but he was nervous. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and stuffed his hands into his pockets once more, fingers fidgeting with his money.

“Uh, excuse me?” he spoke politely, but loudly, trying to catch your attention. You turned around to face him and god, he felt as if his body was set on fire. Embarrassment washed over him like a wave as you jumped slightly at the unexpected sight. “Oh! Sorry!” you smiled, amused by the man in front of you. “What can I do for you?” His fists clenched, and with white knuckles he regrettably made the realisation that you might’ve been the most gorgeous person he had ever seen. For fuck’s sake. Of all times to meet a person like you, it just had to be when he was dressed up like a fool. With yellow fucking face paint, and tiny overalls. He felt guilty for just looking at you.

“Um- could I get 2 medium popcorns?” he cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound deeper, to make up for, well, what was happening on his face. “One salt, and one butter. Please.” He avoided eye contact. If he could be grateful for one thing in that moment, it was that the yellow paint concealed his blush. “Coming right up!” He could hear the slight chuckle in your voice, trying desperately not to laugh at a customer. “Nice outfit by the way. Let me guess, you’re seeing longlegs?” You joked, grabbing a popcorn bucket and shovelling the plain popcorn into it. Iwaizumi laughed - a lot harder than he should have. Was he laughing with nervousness? Were you just so pretty he couldn’t help himself? Were you laughing with or at him? A thick cloud of questions circled in his mind like a cyclone. But the sound of your laughter fading quickly calmed it down. “How’d you know?” he attempted to joke back. He spoke through a smile, gritted teeth trying to hide the embarrassment that danced on the tip of his tongue.

You laughed again, walking further from the counter to add butter to the popcorn. You hummed to a melody only you could hear in your mind, knees bending up and down in a subtle dance. You turned back to face him again, handing him the now buttered popcorn.

“Are they with you?” you asked, pointing at his minion friends behind him, who were dancing as Oikawa recorded them. He rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately yeah. This was their idea. You have no idea how embarrassing this is.” he spoke quieter, causing you to lean in closer to listen, grabbing another empty popcorn bucket. “I don’t think it’s embarrassing. If anything, it’s cute! This job gets boring really easily so seeing people dressed up like you just makes my day!” You weren’t looking at him while you spoke, partly because you weren’t capable of making eye contact after calling him cute, and also because you needed to focus on making sure the popcorn actually landed in the bucket.

He gulped, suddenly way too aware of his sweaty palms. Was he going to make it out of this interaction alive? He doubted it. Honestly, he didn’t care. He was just glad you were talking to him; treating him normally. As if he wasn’t currently about to sweat the yellow off of his face. Noticing the silence that formed around you, he continued the small talk. “So.. You uh, you work in a cinema right? You a big fan of movies?” He straightened his back, flexing his height. His face almost scrunched up with disgust at how pathetic he sounded. You mixed the salt into the popcorn as you spoke. “Honestly, I'm more of a fan of older stuff. Nowadays people just don’t make movies like they used to. Ah- Except for minions, of course.” You winked at him, unaware of how you almost made his heart stop. “I’ve been meaning to see the new Deadpool too, actually.” you spoke at the perfect pace for him to process and cherish each syllable that left your lips. Oh god, he really was pathetic.

Grabbing onto the second popcorn bucket you handed him, he struggled to mirror your smile. “I love deadpool!” He lied. He had never seen a single Deadpool movie in his life. Hopefully you wouldn’t quiz him on his plot knowledge. You smiled again, “It’s so funny!” He nodded in response, not trusting whatever lies would come out of his mouth. You typed something into the register, and then told him his total. He forgot about that. Trying to balance the popcorn, he reached into his pockets and pulled his money out, handing it to you with shaky hands. You thanked him and placed it neatly into the register.

Before you could utter your classic ‘Have a nice day!’ he spoke up again. “Hey uh. How about we see the new Deadpool movie together sometime? - when you’re free of course.” He clutched the popcorn buckets for support; stability. Like if you said no, he could retreat inside of them and hide away forever. Had he misread the whole situation? Did you actually hate him and feel repulsed by the sight of him? He hoped he was wrong. You totally liked him too, right? You leaned forward onto the counter, almost close enough to feel the breath that escaped his lips. “Are you asking me on a date? Am I getting asked out by a minion?” you asked, a teasing lilt in your tone. He cleared his throat, almost choking on his spit in the process. He was so embarrassed it hurt. “Do you want me to?” He choked out - His desperate expression matched his voice. You giggled, holding your chin in your palm. “Maybe I do.”

He almost dropped the popcorn after hearing those words fall from your lips. This time, his smile was natural; wide enough to make his eyes squint. “Awesome! So uh.. When are you free?” he asked, getting lost in your gaze in the most cliché way possible. Your eye contact broke as you acknowledged the long line that had accumulated behind him. Where did these people come from? With a sigh, you looked back at him. “Sorry, would you mind if we planned this later? I need to get back to my job.” You spoke sweetly, pretending to gag at the thought of working another hour. “I could give you my number?” you asked, with a hopeful glint in your eye.

He never said yes faster in his life.

Grabbing a ballpoint pen from your pocket, you wrote your phone number down on a napkin and neatly folded it up, handing it to him. He eagerly grabbed it, placing it in his pocket. He muttered a shy thank you, to which you nodded. “See you later, minion boy.” you joked, the smirk on your face was decorated with cheeks that were hot to the touch. His eyes widened as he realised, he hasn’t even told you his name. “Oh, it’s Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi Hajime.” He almost forgot his own name. You introduced yourself in return. Was it possible to fall in love with names? Because nothing had ever sounded better to him in his life.

“See ya.” he said, repeating your name. It rolled off his tongue like a fluent language. You winked, “Later, Iwa.”

You texted him later that night, when the both of you were at home. You were free tomorrow, and there was a Deadpool screening at 10am. He had to pull an all-nighter that night to:

One: watch the deadpool movies,

Two: plan how he was going to talk to you,

And three: come up with witty jokes that would make you laugh.

He hoped you would like normal him more than the minion version.

[plumpthatbelly]

HogFeed Revenge

Gunner (On the Right) and Emmitt (On the Left) have worked as farm hands both for several years at Gunners Grandfathers homestead. They grew up best friends, making anything on the farm a two man job. Gunner of course was around more often and took care of his grandfathers homestead a lot more then Emmitt ever did. But Emmitt was his grandpas favorite. Emmitt even took two years off at the farm to go to college, with his parents money of course, and threw it all away partying and failing classes. It was just only 6 weeks ago that he started back up again at the homestead. It was around the same time the Gunners Grandfather passed away, and in his will he left Emmitt the homestead as a thank you for coming back.

Emmitt didn’t know how to run the farm, he just liked playing with the farm animals. Gunner filled with rage, decided to make Emmitt pay for getting everything handed to him.

Gunner started pampering and cooking for his “bestie.” Every day making sure to a nice heap of Hogfeed Protein- specially made to fatten up the farm animals, into every meal and treat he made. It wassnt very long at all that Emmitt started sleeping in longer, moving slower, and growing fatter. By the time Emmitt found Gunners secret stash of hogfeed in the kitchen, and everything clicked in his head for his very recent big weight changed- it was to late— Gunner said shutting the door to the pig shed, leaving Emmitt growing forcefully out of his own overalls and becoming the spoiled pig he always was

[e-vay]

The Shadora Horde is known for wiping out every house’s stash of candy because there are just so many of them and they’re just such cuties! Grandpa!Sonic and Grandma!Amy come along for Trick-or-Treat-ing, too!

Aurora and Shadow are Princess Buttercup and Westley from Princess Bride. Sonic and Amy are Ken and Barbie

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

[empress-simps]

Tulips & Moony

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Fem! Reader CW: Sirius and Remus' banter and language (around 700 words) Summary: Remus tries to crochet you a tulip. Note: Hi darlings! I hope you like this mini fic; I love to crochet so why not make a fic out of it, right? Also, my uni's third term is about to end so I'll have more time to finish my WIPs! Hope you enjoy!

Remus loves knitted things— he considers the “unfashionable” grandpa sweaters that Sirius always complains about to be his prized possessions, not forgetting to mention how he’s got every neutral and earthy tones of cardigans arranged neatly in his trunk.

Yes, Remus is an avid fan of those things, but he doesn't really express any interest in making them from scratch.

So, imagine Sirius' surprise walking in on Remus who’s red in the face as he fumbles with a ball of yarn.

“Now Moony, when did you suddenly become a grandma?” Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow at the poor bloke who’s struggling looping a yarn.

“Since he learned Y/n loves to crochet.” James quipped from his bed, eating a chocolate frog that he most likely stole from Remus’ stash who was too busy to notice.

“He’s been at it for a good hm… three hours or so?” Peter shrugs, working on his charms essay in the corner of the room and trying to block out the strings of curses Remus grumbles out every now and then.

“Can you all be quiet? I’m trying to concentrate, you sods.” The werewolf grumbled, furrowing his brows and sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth in concentration. The sight was quite amusing. James lets out a laugh, getting off his bed. “Alright then, I’m getting quite tired watching you fail miserably,” Remus grunted, “Yeah, go bother someone else.”

Sirius plopped next to Remus, looking closely at his creation. “That’s a nice square you got there, Moony.” He hummed, nodding in approval at the wonky shape.

“It’s a bloody circle, you git.”

Sirius didn’t even try to stifle his laugh, “What are you trying to make anyway?”

“A tulip.”

“Doesn’t look like one though.”

“Thanks Pads, really. You’re such a great friend.” Remus rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his tone as he repeats a certain stitch a couple of times. “Geez Moony, that’s alright now.”

“No, it’s not, the stitch looks weird and much looser than the others,” Remus complained.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, “You call that a stitch? Doesn’t look like it.”

"Yeah, the next time you'll see Poppy is because of the stitches you're gonna get because of me-"

Safe to say they both were kicked out to the common room by a very annoyed Wormtail.

It took about a week full of wonky, weirdly shaped tulips, and sleepless nights for Remus to successfully make a single red tulip.

Remus gripped the wrapped tulip tightly, the familiar feeling of nervousness eating up his system seeing you with your friend hanging out in the corner of the common room. He was pulled out of his thoughts by James showing him lightly.

“Look, now’s your chance, Moony.”

Sure enough, your friend left you on one of the couches to go Godric knows where, Remus didn’t really care that much if he’s honest. He even silently thanked your friend as his feet lead him to where you’re sitting. “Oh, Remus!” You looked up to see his tall frame, standing quickly as you could and offering him a smile. “Hi.” He grinned nervously before stretching his arm out that’s holding the crocheted Tulip to you, albeit a bit awkwardly but you on the other hand, find it endearing. “Erm… Is it for me?” You asked, chuckling nervously. “Ah, yeah! I made it, I heard you like to crochet so…” He trails off, scratching the back of his neck as blush dusted his cheeks. He saw how your eyes lit up, and your smile widening as you gently took it from his hand. “Woah…” You let out a soft gasp, examining the flower carefully. “Since when did you learn how to crochet?” “Just last week,” “Just last week?! Remus, you are gifted. I couldn’t even make something remotely similar when I was a month in crocheting.” You told him, hugging it close to your cheeks. “Thank you, Remus.” You smiled shyly, going on your tippy toes to place a kiss on his cheek before waving shyly to him and heading off to girls’ dormitory, leaving Remus who was still trying to process what just happened.

“Another one? I’ve already told you leather is much better!” Sirius threw his hands up in the air, entering their room to see Remus smiling to himself as he wore the cardigan you crocheted for him. “I wouldn’t say that if I were you, Pads.” Peter looked up from his and James’ game of exploding snap. “Why? It’s not fashionable!” “It’s made by Y/N, you wanker. Now shut your mouth before I hex you out of this room.”

[thewalkingwillowtree]

Safe Haven - Slice of Life

Series Part Listing Found Here

Hi Friends! Merry Christmas!!

As my present to you all, here's a little slice (chunk) of life of Xi and Neteyam's family life. This was originally supposed to be an Epiloguest type of chapter, but this came out instead.

Hope you enjoy!

~

Zyden shuffled around his family’s home a tad bleary eyed. After cleaning himself up, taming down his sleep twisted braids and chewing on a sprig of van’eela bark, he fixed a quick meal from his family’s stash and sat down to eat it. 

“Hey, Sprout,” Neteyam greeted, walking in after a ‘graveyard shift’ of patrol duty. 

Although he tried not to take up too many shifts during that hour, it was mating season for pulkatans and so it was all hands on deck for protecting the clan when they were most susceptible to threats. 

“Morning, dad,” Zyden voiced, scarfing another mouthful of food in his mouth. He squinted as he chewed, watching his father shuck off his riding gear and weapons. “Mom threw up earlier- twice. I held her hair back.” 

Neteyam sighed, glancing at the partition he knew his mate was behind. “Is she up?”

“No, she fell back asleep after having tea. Hys snuck in with her at some point last night. He still has that cough. Hope it’s okay that I gave him a little of the g’in root tonic mom’s been giving him.”

Ruffling his son’s hair affectionately, Neteyam pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. “Thanks for taking care of them for me.” 

“Course.” Zyden sprang up to hurriedly rinse out his bowl.

“Where are you heading off to so early anyway?” 

“Grandpa Jxo said L’eo and I can help him and his team with the repairs on the northern border. I wanna finally try out that old drill uncle Norm fixed up for me. L’eo’s probably already waiting for me, I said I’d meet him at his tent.” 

Neteyam nodded. “Alright have fun. Remember your rules?”

Zyden rolled his eyes, cracking a smile despite his mild annoyance. “Yeesss, dad.”

“And what are they?” 

“Do I really have to do this every time?”

“Sure do.”

“Ugh, dad.”

“Hey, the longer you take to say them, the longer you take to leave. Now come on, what are they?”

“Fine… Be respectful to anyone I see. Keep my wits about me. Don’t go past the boundaries without your permission and always be home by curfew. Can I go now?”

“Got your knife?” 

Zyden huffed. “Dad!” He laughed. “You can clearly see it on my hip!” 

“Alright, alright. Get out of here. I’ll see you later!”

He watched from the threshold as Zyden ran down the pathway until he disappeared. Only at the sound of a feminine chuckle behind him, did he turn around. 

Biting down on his bottom lip and head tilting ever so slightly to the side, his eyes roamed over his wife appreciatively.

Even though it had been years, the sight of her never ceased to amaze him. She was sleep rumpled- all squinty eyes, mused hair and sleep lines from whatever pillow she’d been laying her cheek on. 

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured in greeting. 

Xilä’s nose wrinkled at the compliment yet she couldn’t help the fond smile that escaped her. “I’m a mess.”

He shrugged as he closed the distance between them, swooping downward to steal a kiss. “A beautiful mess then,” he teased, making her giggle happily. 

“Sure,” she laughed in denial, patting his chest in thanks anyway. 

“Zyden said you were sick again?”

“Mhm.” Xi sighed contentedly, leaning into her mate’s soothing touch. “I don’t remember it being this bad with either of our boys.” 

Neteyam rocked them side to side slowly, one hand running up and down her spine, the other splayed on her little bump that had only begun to show. 

“Maybe it’s a girl this time,” he joked. 

It was an old wives tale that terrible morning sickness meant the baby would be a girl. 

“Maybe,” she hummed, playing along. 

“Should I brew you some tea? I made sure to get that weird coral stuff from Awa’atlu that Ronal recommended when you were pregnant with Zyden.”

Xi smiled up at him. “You spoil me, you know that?” 

“Always.”

“Mama?” 

They both turned at the same time to see a coughing Hysik coming towards them. 

Although the little one clearly had his sights set on his mother, Neteyam scooped him up before Xi could. 

“There’s, my boy.” 

Hys broke out into giggles when his sides were tickled and a loud raspberry was blown into his cheek. 

“Did you sleep well, my love?” Xi cooed as she brushed away askew strands of hair away from his face.

“Yep! But- but I wake up and you went gone mama. That’s not very nice,” the three year old said in all seriousness, making his parents chuckle. “I missed you when I was sleeping.”

“Aw. I’m sorry, baby.”

Xi frowned when Hysik released another wet, rattling cough. She reached up and felt his forehead, then under his neck, relieved to find him cool to the touch. 

“I don’t like how long his cough is taking to dry up.”

“Me too,” Xi echoed. “I know it’s just a cold, but just to be safe I think I’ll take him to see your grandmother today.”

As his parents planned their day, Hys took the opportunity to stretch forward with intent, one tiny hand clutching the fabric of Xi’s top, little face smooshed into her neck when she settled him against her hip.

“He’s getting too big for you to carry around now. You’re not supposed to be straining yourself.” 

“I know, but just let me baby him a little longer.” And for emphasis she hugged him closer and attacked his small palm with a noisy kiss. 

“I- I not a baby, mama.” Hys sounded entirely offended.

Neteyam snorted and Xi pouted. 

“Yes, you’re my baby.” 

“No.” His head lifted and his hand patted his mama’s cheek as if trying to make her understand. “I a big boy. Like Zyden. An- and L’eo. And Js’avi. And- and-”

Neteyam pointed at himself, mouthing, “me” at his son. 

“And daddy!” 

~

After breakfast, Neteyam, Xilä and Hys slowly made their way through camp towards the  Tsahìk’s tent. 

Despite his little legs, Hysik’s fast steps zigzagged ahead of them, then fell a little behind when he got distracted by an insect at first, then an interesting rock- only to be hailed by his parents.

He waved hello to almost every person they met on the way and practiced his “good mornings,” with a confidence Xilä wished she’d had when she first arrived at Home Camp.

“Sprout’s been asking a lot of questions about our trading system lately.” 

Xi grinned. “He takes after you and his grandfather for sure. I overheard him giving Jake suggestions on how to improve things.” 

“They’re good too,” Neteyam said proudly. “I know he’s only ten, but dad and I were thinking of creating a little roll for him. Get him involved in the process somehow.”

“I love that. I think Zyden will too.” 

“Next shipment I’ll see what I can come with then.”

“Oh…”

“What?”

“It’s just- that’s two weeks away.”

Neteyam’s brows furrowed. “Well, yeah. Why?”

“Nothing. I figured Leati or Gwuyle or even your father would be handling shipments while you were gone.” Xi nibbled on her bottom lip, glancing up to see the obvious shift in her mate’s disposition. “I take it you haven’t given any more thought about your trip then?”

Tense from subject change, Neteyam tried to keep his tail limp. It tended to give way his emotions before it could reach his face- his wife’s words, not his. 

“Baby, we’ve been over this-”

“I know, I know. I’m only checking again,” Xi assured, lightly squeezing his fingers where they were linked with hers. “And you’re sure?”

Her mate didn’t answer. 

“‘Teyam… I know you hate when I say it, but… it’s been years now.”

“You can come with me,” he suggested, as if he hadn’t done so many times in the last three weeks, deflecting what she was trying to get to. “You and the boys.”

“Neteyam, I don’t-”

“Gwran’mama ‘Tiri!” 

Hysik squealed happily at the sight of Neytiri who lit up at the sound of her grandson’s voice. She instantly attacked him with affection the second he landed in her arms, showing him off to the Na’vi women she’d been talking to. 

Xilä sighed when her husband sped up to go greet his mother.

She guessed their conversation would have to wait. 

~

Hysik was a little “chatterbox” as his grandpa Jake had nicknamed him. 

Throughout his entire checkup, Hys talked and talked and talked. Telling the Tsahìk every little detail of a very elaborate dream he’d had. 

And of course, being a doting great-grandmother, Mo’at hung on to every word, all while she expertly handled the toddler’s squirming and fidgeting and whining when it was time for her to inspect his tail. 

“Warm marllow root tea with a little raw nectar and he’ll be fine in no time,” Mo’at announced after she’d completed her checks. 

“And there’s no infection?” Xi asked, letting her son crawl out her lap and boldly fling himself into his father’s instead. 

“No, infection.”

“What about his lungs?” Neteyam asked this time, unfazed as Hys used him as his own personal climbing wall- little knees and elbows digging into his muscle, small feet pinching his thighs and stomach. 

Cases of the purple fever had begun to pop up again, and its effects were known to have damaging effects on the lungs. 

“Fine too. It’s a cold, not the purple fever, thankfully. To be safe, no school time tomorrow and I suggest you keep using the g’in root for another week.”

Xilä’s shoulders slumped in relief. Logically she knew all of this, but hearing it from Mo’at made all the difference.

“Thank you, grandmother… I swear, one would certainly think I’m no healer. But when it comes to my children, I panic and I forget everything you’ve taught me.”

Mo’at clicked her tongue in amusement. “Never mind that, dear. Our children tend to have that effect on us.”

“Gwran’mama?” Hys interrupted shyly. 

He hadn’t quite gotten names down just yet, and so Sal, Neytiri and Mo’at were all called gwran’mama, while Jake and Jxo were gwran’papa.

It was honestly cute, and thankfully none of the grandparents seemed to mind his mix ups. 

“Yes, my dear boy?”

“I was really good. Can I have a treat now?”

“Please,” Neteyam prompted.

Hys nodded, little palms stretching out as his tail waved excitedly. “Yes, please, gwran’mama?”

With two sweet treats secured, Hysik was quietly occupied as he sat in his father’s lap. 

Mo’at decided she wanted to check over Xi as well, since she was already here- gentle hands poking and prodding the little baby bump while she asked question after question. 

The Tsahìk was the only one besides their son Zyden, who officially knew they were expecting. 

Xilä and Neteyam had had an extremely difficult time conceiving their Hysik. To Xi, he was their little miracle baby. She’d cried for almost two days straight out of pure joy when she found out she’d be a mother for the second time.

And so, suffice to say, this time around both she and Neteyam had been shocked- pleasantly surprised of course, that Xi’s “stomach bug” turned out to be morning sickness.

“Are you still sick in the mornings?”

“Not all the-”

“Yes she is. Every morning for the last month, and after lunch on most days too,” Neteyam answered. “She’s barely able to keep anything in her for long.”

“Hm… It’s still early, and you haven’t lost that much weight for us to be worried yet. So we’ll monitor it for now, yes? Keep drinking your soothing teas and maybe stick to fruit and well-cured meats for a few days.” 

Xilä smiled gratefully when Mo’at patted her hand. 

~

“Theeen, I finally hit every target at practice- even the furthest ones I could never get perfectly, and I beat Pk’osh at a wrestling match. He’s the biggest in our class and no one’s ever beaten him before- I did that new technique that grandpa Jake taught me and L’eo- you know one like-” Zyden made an exaggerated jerk to demonstrate.

“Zyden,” his mother chided from where she was hunched behind him- fingers in his hair as she braided neat plaits. 

“Sorry, ma,” he apologized quickly, sitting still once more. “Oh and, dad! Our trainer said that I am seriously fierce for my age. He said that if I put in the hard work, I’d be a great warrior. I want to be perfect at all my tests though. So I have an advantage for my Iknimaya rites.”

“My love, you don’t have to worry about your Iknimaya for at least another couple of years.”

“I know, mom but it never hurts to be prepared. Right, dad?”

Sprawled out on the massive hammock in his and Xi’s room, Neteyam was all wide smiles as he listened to his son speak.

“He’s right,” Neteyam agreed as he Xi shared meaningful grins over the top of Zyden’s head.

Xilä rolled her eyes fondly. Her son sounded just like his father.

“L'eya's the best in our class with the bow, and since we started spear practice, L’eo’s been the best, but I’m definitely better at sparring and knife throwing.”

“I’m incredibly proud of you, Sprout,” Neteyam praised. 

“And me!” Hysik piped in, wanting to be included. He pointed at his chest as he sat up on his knees to face his father. “I a warrior too, daddy!” 

Neteyam chuckled and tickled his pudgy tummy. “I’m very proud of you too, Hys.”

The three year old beamed, awfully pleased with himself before focusing on the little carved ikran he’d been flying around. Making screeching sounds, he waved it in the air then dramatically landed it on his daddy’s propped up knee. 

When Xilä finished with the final braid, she hugged Zyden round his shoulders and kissed his temple. Most days she couldn’t believe that he was almost eleven already- and almost as tall as her. 

Both he and Hysik were the splitting image of Neteyam. Zyden had her eyes and more prominent pointed ears while Hys only had a mildly darker hue of her dusty blue complexion. Everything else was all his father.

Continuing to chat with Neteyam, Sprout curled up on his mother’s side of the hammock. And by the time Xi tidied away a few things, and quickly spoke with Kah’lee who’d stopped by to drop off a borrowed basket, Hys was sprawled half asleep on his daddy’s chest. 

“Alright, my loves,” Xi called. “Bedtime.” 

“No- no bedtime, mama,” Hys whined as he tiredly rubbed his eyes. 

“Come on, Hys,” Neteyam encouraged, rubbing the little ones back. “We have to listen to your mama.”

“Dad, can you tell us a story first?”

“Sure, which one do you want to hear?”

Xi crawled in beside Zyden and Hysik instantly reached out for her. He was at that weird toddler stage where he wanted to be a “big boy” most days, but still enjoyed being babied.

Cheek settled against her chest, Xi ran her fingers through his hair. Immediately his eyelids fluttered closed and his little tail curled up contentedly. 

“How about the one about mom’s Iknimaya rites,” Zyden decided, “and how she used the ul’nic that Na’raline’s sa'nok gave her?”

“Oh that’s a good one… Hmm. Alright, so first, did you know your mother was terrified of heights?”

Zyden giggled. Of course he knew, yet every time his father told this story, it still made him laugh. 

Xilä smiled happily as she drank in the sight of her boys.

Nights like these, when it was just the four of them, were her favorite.

~

“So, wife. Are you going to put me to bed now?” Neteyam teased when he returned from getting the boys settled in their rooms.

Her back was turned to him as she stood rubbing oil along her stomach. “Now why does that sound so naughty, husband?” 

“Cause it’s meant to be,” he murmured, pressing up against her. His lips brushed her ear while his hands went around to join hers- large palms splayed, making her little baby bump disappear. 

“I still can’t believe we’re going to have another one.” 

Neteyam’s chin perched on her shoulder as he caressed her bump, watching how perfect his palms fit around it. “Me neither… We’re going to be outnumbered now.” 

Xi chuckled, slotting her fingers into the spaces between each of his fingers. “Don’t pretend like you don’t love it.”

“You’re right. I love it,” he admitted, nibbling a little on her jaw. “But don’t worry, baby. We’ll stick together…”

“What?” she ask when he made a thoughtful sound.

“It’s just… three is such an odd number. Don’t you think?”

“‘Teyam, this baby isn’t even born yet. Are you really advocating for a fourth right now?” Xi laughed.

He pouted against her cheek. “I’m just saying…”

This man.

“When do you think we should tell the family? Sal’s going to go crazy and Kiri will be relieved since mom’s been dropping not so subtle comments at her and Tasam.”

“Um… Maybe when you get back from your trip.”

A sigh escaped Neteyam as he stood tall again- arms falling away from her body. He tugged on her tail lightly before stepping away to fling himself into their hammock, tossing out a couple of the cushions that took up too much space. 

“Baby, I’m not going on that trip.” 

Xilä could tell her husband was frustrated with her and actively trying not to show it. But at this point she didn’t care. He kept brushing her off whenever she brought up the subject.

“‘Teyam, we need to talk about this. Please?”

“Come to bed, Xi. We’re just going to fight if we do this tonight.”

“Then let’s fight.”

He blinked. “You want to fight?”

“If that’s what it's going to take for us to clear this up, then yes.”

“Now?” 

“No! Next year,” she snapped sarcastically. “Yes, now.” 

His brows jumped at her tone, and he quickly sat up. “O-okay. Then let’s.” 

Xilä approached the edge of their bed, but didn’t sit. “Jake said that this trip is a huge opportunity- that it will be a major factor to help prove you’re more than capable to lead our clan.”

“There will be other chances-”

“But this one is right here!” 

“Xilä-”

“Why don’t you want to go?” she asked frankly. She had an inkling but wondered if he’d actually say it out loud.

“What? I- Xi, I’m not going to leave my sons and my pregnant wife for a one month trip to the Wetlands that I’m perfectly sure my dad and Tasam- who I’m sending instead, can handle.” 

Xilä planted her hands on her hips. 

“You are supposed to be meeting with the chief of the Hulanta clan- as future chief yourself, Neteyam! Tasam was supposed to go with you either way, as your future second. I’m barely four months along and perfectly capable of taking care of our sons. I have a whole support system if I need help… Those are all poor excuses you gave and you know it.” 

Neteyam’s jaw clenched tight. He pinched the bridge of his nose as though in pain, then leveled his mate with an expression full of exasperation. 

“I don’t understand why you’re pushing this, Xilä. Why won’t you take me saying that I just don’t want to go, as an answer?”

“Because when Jake first brought this up, you were so excited about it! You came home and spent over an entire afternoon telling me everything you planned to either implement or suggest to the Hulanta chief-”

Neteyam tried to interject but Xilä silenced him with a flashing glare, one knee coming up to rest on the hammock. She didn’t back down, not even at the sight of his tail thrashing furiously. 

“And the second you found out that the boys and I couldn’t come on the trip with you, you shut it all down.” 

“I changed my mind, okay? I had my reasons.”

“You had your reasons?” Xi frowned. 

“It’s a month long trip. Yes. I had my reasons.” 

“The same type of reasons that left you unable to go on any trip no matter how long or how short in the last ten years, right?” Xi pushed. “Trips that me and the boys weren't able to make with you because it was either dangerous or just plain unnecessary?”

“Drop it, Xi. I’m done for tonight.” 

“Drop it?! For Eywa sake! Neteyam that’s all I’ve been doing for the last ten years. Every time I try to bring up this conversation you’ve told me to drop it and I have! I don’t want to do it anymore!” 

“I don’t see the problem here! I’m prioritizing my family. Why are you so adamant on getting rid of me?!” 

“Getting rid of you? You think that’s what I’m trying to do?” 

“Sure seems that way, sweetheart,” he snapped. 

“Well what it seems to me, is that you're running away from what the actual issue is and I don’t understand why you won’t just be honest with yourself about it.” 

“I don’t know what you’re on about, but I am telling you for the last time. I am not going on that goddamn trip.”

“WHY?”

“Fucking hell, Xilä-”

“Why won’t you go on the trip?”

“Because the last time I left for a trip without you, you were fucking kidnapped, beaten and traded as if you were fucking cattle! You were left in the clutches of a lunatic who wanted to claim you! And I- I almost lost you, Xilä! Do you know what that did to me?! How could you possibly think I could leave you again? And worse yet- for an entire fucking month?!” 

There it was. 

Neteyam abruptly stood and made a beeline for the partition that separated their room from the rest of the tent- hair flying behind him. “I need a minute. Don’t follow me out.” 

Ears burning hot from the intensity of the moment, Xilä stared at where her husband had disappeared and began to silently count- a tactic she’d learnt from Mo’at over the years to aid with her anxiety. 

She’d barely gotten to one hundred when he returned- far more calmer and looking a whole lot guilty after his outburst. 

“Come here,” he said gently. 

Folding her into an all consuming embrace, he whispered a series of apologies against her forehead. He rarely ever lost his temper with her and the boys. It wasn’t him at all. 

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. It’s not okay, Xi. I’m sorry.”

“I’m the one that pushed yo-”

“Hey,” he said, cutting her off, holding both sides of her face and staring at her with a seriousness that made her go quiet. “Let’s not play the self blaming game, okay?” 

In one swoop, he lifted her off the ground and carried them over to the hammock. With Xilä straddling his lap, there was no more escaping this conversation. He was ready to face it head on and get it over with.

Neteyam’s eyes traced over his wife, taking in her features. 

Her hair was short again- shoulder length like the time she’d gotten it cut when she’d first come to Home Camp. Pointed ears twitching in concern, her brows creased, moon colored eyes focused completely on him- and damn if he always got lost in them. He hated how sad they looked tonight. 

Cupping her cheek, his thumb brushed across the thin, faded scar that held the reminder of what he feared. 

They had talked about it- the incident- years ago when it first happened. They’d talked and wrapped it up, moved on, and never brought it up again. 

And while Xilä steadily tended to her mental wounds with the help of Mo’at, Neteyam still had a deep scar that unknowingly festered over the years. 

“So-” He blew out some air. “I know it’s been years but-” he shrugged, “guess I’m not entirely over that situation.” 

Xilä cupped his cheeks, leaning forward to give him a chase kiss. “And that’s okay… I don’t think shoving the past behind us and never looking back was the healthiest way to go. I know this is tough for you, but we can work on it. Together.” 

“How?”

“By talking… We don’t have to go that deep into it tonight, but eventually we will. And eventually you’ll open up. You’ll heal and be able to let go.”

“Okay,” he rasped, palms rubbing her thighs as though trying to comfort himself. 

“For now though, what would you say I can do to make you comfortable enough to go on the trip?”

Neteyam thought about it for a moment. 

“Maybe you can stay with my parents? You and the boys... Jxo and Sal are great but- I think having my parents closer would be a little more assuring for me.”

Xi nodded. She’d dare not bring up the fact that his parents lived only a few tents away from them. “We can do that.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. They have more than enough room and I’ll still have help whenever I need it. Tuk I’m sure would be delighted to have the boys to fuss over and boss around.” 

“That too,” he said, cracking a smile. 

“Anything else?”

“I want to talk to you every day- even if it’s just for two minutes to simply hear your voice.” 

Xilä didn’t think it was possible to fall even more in love with her husband. 

Yet here he was.

Proving her wrong. 

“Maybe you can bribe Norm to let me borrow one of those handy communication things so I don’t have to walk to the labs every day.”

“That, I can definitely do, sweetheart.” 

Xi fiddled with one of his hands- a habit she’d never broken out of over the years.

“I’m truly not trying to get rid of you.”

“I know- shit. I just said that in the moment. I don’t really think that, Xi.”

She gave him a wry smile. “The truth is- and as creepy as this might sound, if it were possible, I’d crawl into your skin and never leave you.”

Neteyam laughed. He knew what she meant. Sometimes he felt the same way.

“But in the same breath, I don’t want you to live in fear because of me. It’s hampering your dreams, ‘Teyam. Your goals... Jake is getting ready to step down in a couple of years, and you’re going to be Olo'eyktan.”

She pressed a palm to his chest. 

“I am your wife. And I will stand by your side even when we disagree. But this is one thing I won’t let you slip up on. Okay?” 

“How in Eywa’s name did I get so lucky? Where did I find you?” 

Xi shrugged playfully. “In the forest screaming my head off. You killed the palulukan who was chasing after me, then whisked me away and took me to your home.”

He laughed again but this time it ended in a groan. His head fell into her neck. “A month is way too long to be away from you, baby. It takes a week alone by ikran to get to Hulanta.”

“You can ask Stevan to join the trip earlier than planned? Go by jet instead?” 

One of the main reasons for the trip anyway was to check out a massive, old RDA base that had been set up near a Hulanta village. There was apparently an entire fleet of abandoned aircrafts waiting to be fixed up and used. 

“True,” he agreed.

“So it’s settled then? You’ll go and delegate your butt off and make me and your parents and our boys proud of you?”

Neteyam nodded against her skin. “Yeah, baby. I’ll go.” He ran a thumb along the side of her stomach. “You still wanna wait till I get back to tell everyone?” 

“Mmm. I can get away with hiding my bump by wearing my longer tops and higher skirts, but if I’m going to be staying with your parents for a month, they’re bound to pick up on my morning sickness.” 

“I bet you’d want to tell your mom and sister first.”

“Yeah,” Xi confirmed.

“Are we done fighting?” Neteyam wondered after they agreed to tell their families the good news a week before he had to leave. 

“Yes,” Xi grinned, knowing why he was asking. 

She squealed when he flipped them around, sighing as his lips pressed against her neck and he slipped a knee between her thighs. 

Sometimes good things come from a fight. 

Like improved communication…

The validation of feelings… 

And mind blowing make-up sex.

~

~

On his third day at the Hulanta clan while he and Tiaru- the clan’s chief were in deep discussion as they made rounds near the tree of souls, a familiar shade of blue caught his eye. 

Neteyam blinked to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. But… he wasn’t. And in seeing the Na’vi all the more clearly, he inhaled sharply.

“What is it?” Tiaru asked, alerted by the shock on his face.

And although Neteyam was sure who she might be, he still asked…

“Who is that Li’onan woman?” 

~

Hehe... I had to throw in a little bit of a fight there. I love a good healthy communication moment honestly.

And, gasp. Who IS that Li'onan woman???

Also, you guys, Zyden is growing up? And what do we think of sweet little Hysik?

Anywhoo, see y'all in my next one! 💛

~

Tags:@jakesullyfatjuicypeen@granddearduck@riatesullironalite@strawberri-blonde@earthling55 @innercreationflower @duckworthbean @gyuventure @btsiguess-kpop@blkmystery@neteswife@luvteyams@isnt-itstrange@erenjaegerwifee@faatxma@ivysully@bakugouswaif@pinkpantheris @mntx666@ironcaptainnataliabarnes

[machveil]

Collective Writings - König

Collective Writings navigation page - tab one, current tab

I fear I wrote too much König for one page… so we’re making a sequel! 🎀✨ for fics 18+ please read content warnings (CW) - you come first! check the fic before you read it

König:

Waiter!König x Loser!Reader - blurb

Boxer!König - nervous about hurting opponents/leaves the ring okay/breaks his nose - headcanon

Husband!König - leaves the room/you investigate - headcannon

Grandpa!König - neighborhood favorite/grandbabies/Nerf - headcanon

(18+, mdni) Loser!König being nervous and weepy - headcanon, fluff, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) Loser!König miscellaneous thoughts, teasing him throughout the day - headcanon, fluff, nsfw under the cut

König has sad eyes :( - blurb

König - bundled up for winter/cooking - headcanon

Reader casually wearing a thong - blurb

(18+, mdni) Loser!König trying to learn - blurb

(18+, mdni) König sharing treats with you - headcanon

(18+, mdni) dating Loser!König - talking for him/him talking/sleepy morning - headcanon, fluff, nsfw below the cut

Boyfriend!König adores your stretch marks - blurb

Dad!König - Halloween enthusiast/trick-or-treating - blurb

Boyfriend!König - restaurant regular/eats a lot - blurb

Boyfriend!König - home from deployment/showers/eats - headcanon

König - loves when you eat/out-eating/attractive - headcanon

ChildhoodBestFriend!König - holding hands - headcanon

Boyfriend!König - accidentally eats your period snack stash - headcanon

CatDad!König - miscellaneous thoughts - headcanon

18+, mdni) Loser!König x Loser!Reader - headcanon, fluff, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) Loser!König and Loser!Ghost with bound wrists - headcanon

Werewolf!König - blurb

Retired!König being mistaken for a cryptid - headcanon

König and tattoos - blurb

(18+, mdni) Loser!König accidentally edging you - headcanon

König believes in hard work - blurb

(18+, mdni) Loser!König accidentally edging you again - headcanon

Husband!König takes care of bugs - blurb + Insta link

Simon Riley and König x Cosplayer!Reader - headcanon

Dad!König minding the door on Halloween - blurb

(18+, meni) Loser!König and sleepy sex - headcanon

Werewolf!König - smothers you/hair/kisses - headcanon

König - acts like an old man/sneezes/disappears/pants - headcanon

Househusband!König - blurb

König plays piano - blurb

König bites you - headcanon

König Headcanon: His Older Sister - headcanon

König’s family - headcanon

König being a premie - blurb

(18+, mdni) König’s shirts - blurb, fluff, nsfw under the cut

CoD Headcanon: Fashion - headcanon

Survivor!König x Survivor!Reader - headcanon

Moose!König x Survivor!Reader - fic

(18+, mdni) König thinks about you - headcanon, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) König x Sleepy!Reader - headcanon, nsfw under the cut

RabbitHyrbid!König - droopy ears/alert/physique - headcanon

Medusa!König - headcanon

König x Sleepy!Reader - blurb

Medusa!König - headcanon

(18+, mdni) König’s thoughts on pubic hair - headcanon

guys, trust me, the singer sounds like König - reblog + Spotify link

(18+, mdni) Loser!König can’t make it fit - blurb

König is too big for his bathroom - blurb

BF!König tries to fix your window - blurb

König - under the hood - headcanon

(18+, mdni) overstimulating Loser!König - headcanon

König’s apple orchard date - blurb

Roommate!König - quiet/follows/mends/stitches - headcanon

CatDad!König links - Insta link

LittleMermaidAU!König - blurb

König is the king of air jail - blurb

(18+, mdni) König stages a break in - blurb

König has a YT channel - headcanon

Immune!König wants to kiss you - blurb

Immune!König - bit/worried/stressed/saved you - headcanon

Immune!König - afraid/happy/bed - headcanon

(18+, mdni) König’s miniature model - blurb

Immune!König - abduct/bind/test/result - headcanon

18+ Fics:

(18+, mdni) Loser!König being nervous and weepy - headcanon, fluff, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) Loser!König miscellaneous thoughts, teasing him throughout the day - headcanon, fluff, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) Loser!König trying to learn - blurb

(18+, mdni) König sharing treats with you - headcanon

(18+, mdni) dating Loser!König - talking for him/him talking/sleepy morning - headcanon, fluff, nsfw below the cut

18+, mdni) Loser!König x Loser!Reader - headcanon, fluff, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) Loser!König and Loser!Ghost with bound wrists - headcanon

(18+, mdni) Loser!König accidentally edging you - headcanon

(18+, mdni) Loser!König accidentally edging you again - headcanon

(18+, meni) Loser!König and sleepy sex - headcanon

(18+, mdni) König’s shirts - blurb, fluff, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) König thinks about you - headcanon, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) König x Sleepy!Reader - headcanon, nsfw under the cut

(18+, mdni) König’s thoughts on pubic hair - headcanon

(18+, mdni) Loser!König can’t make it fit - blurb

(18+, mdni) overstimulating Loser!König - headcanon

(18+, mdni) König stages a break in - blurb

(18+, mdni) König’s miniature model - blurb

thanks again to followers and friends for keeping up with my writing! CoD requests are always welcomed, please review this post before requesting🎀✨ giving you guys a big, fat kiss for being wonderful and I hope to see you around - either in my inbox or notifications<3