#graham the type of guy to say your name a thousand times just to say hi

[grahamnonspacer]

Yyeah caroline n’ i ganged up onethe ummm. Something idk lmaoo Bo said i could shut up.

.. I half to hurl brb Cool sticky hand thoguh.Toodles

I am soooo lost where did these sticky hands come from. Hehe.lol.

@grahamnonspacer (drunk edition)

I was gifted one, a-

Ohhhh you’re wasted. Hahah. Niiice.

[stateofloveandnegan]

Eighteen Years I - Richard Madden

Requested by: no one

Part one / Part two

“Stop trying, Madden! She’s too pretty for you.” some of the idiots at school yell at Richard. I scoff and shake my head at their words. “Shut up, Graham. I’d much rather spend my time with him, than with you.”

I can tell that it hurts Richard, those guys always know how to get to him, and it pains me to see Richard like this. I take his hand in mine and gently squeeze it. “C’mon, Rich. Let’s go to your place?”

Richard manages a weak smile and nods. I keep Richard’s hand in mine, liking the feeling too much to let go. No one knows, but I’ve always secretly had a thing for him. No, he isn’t the most good-looking guy at school, but I definitely don’t need a guy who’s good-looking, if he is like Graham and his lot. Richard is sweet, talented, helpful, and in my eyes perfect. He’s adorable as well. But, he’s my best friend, and for some reason I’m scared to tell him how I feel.

“(Y/N), why are you friends with me?”

Here we go again. I sigh softly, we’ve just reached Richard’s house. I tighten my grip on his hand a little as I walk into his garden, leading him to the bench underneath the small tree. “Sit down, Rich.” I say gently and sit down myself.

When Richard sits down next to me, I take both his hands in mine, my eyes searching for his. “I’ve told you this a thousand times, but I’ll keep telling you if you need the reassurance. I’m friends with you because you, Richard, are the sweetest guy I know. You are so kind to people, even though they don’t always deserve it. You always know how to cheer me, or anyone, if in a bad mood. You’re never rude, you never even raise your voice, and if you do, it is for good reason. Please don’t let that idiot called Graham and his friends get to you, they’re definitely not worth it.”

Richard sighs softly, but a genuine smile enters his face and he squeezes my hands softly, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, silly. I’m happy to tell you those things.” I smile and let go of his hands, only to open my arms, “Give me a hug.”

Richard starts laughing softly and wraps his arms around me, “How about we go and make those cookies now?” He suggests and within minutes, we’re in the kitchen.

-----------------

Richard thinks back to that day, it’s a memory he’ll always keep close to him. The way (Y/N) always managed to make him feel happy and loved, even though stupid guys like Graham tried to bring him down as much as they could.

He wonders how she’s doing now. It’s been almost eighteen years since he’s spoken to her. The fact that he had to move still bothers him, if only he’d tried to stay in contact with her… but back then, all that was on his mind was the stupid moving, and he failed in keeping his best friend.

“(Y/N) (L/N),” Richard mumbles to himself, “maybe she has Instagram?” He takes his phone out of his pocket and goes to the app, opening it and typing her name in the search bar. He scrolls through some accounts, but can’t find her at first. He isn’t even sure if he’d recognize her.

That is, until he opens someone’s profile and his heart does a weird little jump; it’s her. His thumb immediately goes for the follow button, but something stops him. “What if she doesn’t want to know me anymore?” goes through his head. He sighs and thinks about it for a while, but eventually decides he should just do it and clicks on the button, he’s now following her.

The rest of the day goes by pretty slowly for Richard, he doesn’t have much to do. It’s already pretty late when he’s making dinner, just some simple spaghetti, but still delicious. He’s sat at the table by himself, eating his spaghetti with some music gently playing in the background. Suddenly, his phone buzzes and when he unlocks it, it says that (Y/N) has followed him back.

A smile immediately enters his face and he goes straight to the app. Without really thinking about it, Richard opens the Direct Messages section and enters (Y/N)’s name, opening a chat with her and sending her a message.

---

@maddenrichard

Hey (Y/N).

---

As soon as he sends the message, he feels stupid. “I should’ve come up with something better than that….” But, before he can delete it and send something else, she’s already typing her reply.

---

@(Y/N)(L/N)

Hey Richard.

This is a surprise.

---

Richard feels rather bad for taking eighteen years to do this, a lump forming in his throat as he reads her second message.

---

@maddenrichard

I can imagine it is.

---

Before he can send something else, (Y/N) beats him to it.

---

@(Y/N)(L/N)

To what do I owe this message?

---

He sighs, not really having a good excuse for it, he just missed her. He’s always missed her, but never had the courage to contact her. And now that he has contacted her, he feels incredibly stupid.

---

@maddenrichard

Truth be told, I was wondering how you were doing.

It’s been a really long time, I know.

And I’m sorry for that.

----

I look at the message on my phone. When Richard sent me a follow request earlier, I kind of freaked out. We used to be best friends, but I’ve also not seen, or talked to him, for very long.

Richard has become a well-known actor, I never expected him to still know about me, let alone send me a message like this.

I realise it’s been a couple minutes since he sent his last message, so I quickly type something. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea, but I figure it couldn’t hurt anyone.

---

@(Y/N)(L/N)

It has, yes.

What do you say about me giving you my number?

We could catch up on the phone, if you’d like.

---

The dots on my phone, telling me Richard is typing, make me quite nervous. Maybe he realises he made a mistake by texting me…

---

@maddenrichard

That sounds like a good idea :)

---

I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and quickly send Richard the digits of my number. It doesn’t make me any less nervous, though.

After Richard moved away, I’ve always felt an empty spot in my heart. It was only after he left that I realised my feelings for him weren’t just some feelings, I was in love with him. Deeply, at that. It took a while, but they eventually left my mind. But every time I see him, it still does something to me. I don’t know how he does it, I never knew someone could have this much of an effect on a person.

I almost jump up from my seat on the couch when my phone starts ringing. I completely forgot that Richard would call me. My hand shakes a little as I press ‘accept’ and bring it up to my ear.

“(Y/N)?” a gruff voice asks hesitantly. My heart skips a beat or two at how good and grown up he sounds. I swallow quickly before speaking up myself. “Hey Rich.”

I can hear Richard releasing a deep breath, “It’s really nice to hear your voice again.”

“I could say the same about you, but I must admit I probably wouldn’t have guessed it was you if I didn’t know.” I say with a soft chuckle. Richard chuckles as well, a sound that weakens my knees. Gosh, it’s as if no time ever went by and my feelings are still very much alive.

“How are you?” his voice asks very softly, as if something will break if he speaks any louder. I think about all that’s been going on and am not quite sure if I should just tell him I’m alright, or if I should tell him the truth.

I decide to tell him the truth, it would feel wrong if I lied to him. “I’ve been better, if I’m honest. I’ve just been really stressed lately. But it’s nothing I can’t handle, and things will get better soon, I’m sure.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. But I’m sure things will get better as well.” I can just see the sweet and caring smile on his face as he says this. He’s never been one to pry, but he’s always known exactly what to say. “I know we’re practically strangers to each other now, but if you need to talk or just need someone, I’m here.”

There it is. My smile grows fondly, “Thank you so much, Rich. That means a lot to me. How have you been, though?”

Richard sighs softly, “I’ve been well. Been thinking about you a lot.” He scrapes his throat before he continues, “I’m sorry I disappeared like that, (Y/N). You certainly didn’t deserve that. I’ve been wanting to contact you for years, but frankly I always chickened out.”

The fact that Richard is so honest with me, melts my heart. It’s been the same for me, though. I’ve always wanted to get back in contact with him, but I always figured he’d forgotten about me.

“It’s alright, Rich. I’m really happy you did it tonight, I’ve missed having you as a friend.” I smile and I’m sure Richard can hear that in my tone. “I would like to see you again, though.”

Richard’s heart skips a beat as he hears me say that, “Me, too. Where do you live now?”

“I’ve recently moved to Oxford, I’m a teacher at the University.” I tell, a hint of pride in my words. I’ve worked very hard to get where I’m at right now.

“I can come to Oxford tomorrow, if you’re free, of course.” Richard offers and I smile, nodding. When I realise Richard can’t see me, I quickly tell him that I’m free and that I’d like that. “We could have lunch at my favourite restaurant.”

He chuckles, again weakening my knees, “I’ll be there at twelve.”

“Sounds good. Now, as much as I’d like to stay and talk to you, I really need to prepare some classes for next week.” I say, disappointing myself, but if I’m going out tomorrow, I’ll have to do it today, otherwise I won’t have enough time for it.

“That’s alright, (Y/N). I’m really glad to have talked to you for a bit. We can talk all we want tomorrow, yeah?” Richard says sweetly and I agree with him. We bid each other a good night and Richard wishes me luck before we hang up.

I let out a deep sigh, not really believing I really just spoke to my childhood best friend, who I’ve missed so dearly for all those years.

The next morning, I wake up feeling very rested. A smile enters my face when I think about what’ll happen today: I’m gonna have lunch with Richard.

I get out of bed and gather some clothes for the day before going into the bathroom. I take a nice, rather long shower before getting ready for the day. Once I’m dressed and ready, I go downstairs and make myself some breakfast. Nothing too big, because I don’t want to feel full later when I’m with Richard.

Time flies and before I know it, I’m making my way to the train station. Richard and I decided to meet up there, his train will arrive in about ten minutes, so I’m a little early. But I’m rather early than late.

As closer I get, the more nervous I get. Why? I’m not even sure, it’s probably because those feelings I once had for him, are still somewhere inside me. I’m so curious as to what he’s like now. From what I’ve seen on the news, he’s grown very handsome. He did tell me he’s wearing a hoodie and some shades so he won’t get recognized.

Once we’ll be in the restaurant, he can take them off, not a lot of people know about it, since it’s very small. I take my phone out of my pocket to kill some time, and I can’t help myself when I open Instagram and go through Richard’s photos.

Damn, he’s grown reallygood-looking. I can feel my cheeks heat up a little, so I quickly close the app and put my phone away. I can see the train arriving at the platform, a smile growing on my face as the doors open and a couple minutes later, Richard steps out. He looks around for a moment and when his eyes land on me, I send him a little wave, smiling brightly.

A big smile enters Richard’s face and he quickly makes his was to me, placing the bag he’s holding on the ground once he’s made it. “Hey,”

“Hey.” I say back, still smiling big. Richard and I just look at each other for a minute or two before he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. “It’s so good to see you.”

I chuckle and wrap my arms tightly around him, inhaling his scent, which is delicious. “I’ve really missed you.”

A couple minutes later, we break apart and yet again, smile at each other. “C’mon, let’s go to the restaurant.”

Richard grabs his bag and nods. We start walking and as we do so, I still can’t believe it’s really him. After almost nineteen years he’s here.

After a short walk, we reach the restaurant. I take Richard to a table in the back, so we can have lunch without getting disturbed. Richard smiles and sets his bag down before taking his sunglasses and hoodie off. It’s only then that I notice his bright blue eyes. He’s always had beautiful eyes, but they weren’t this piercing when we were young.

“Hold up,” Richard says with a boyish smile on his face. He quickly makes his way behind my chair and holds it back for me, I laugh softly, “And they say chivalry is dead.” I tease, to which Richard laughs and when I’m sat, he joins me at the table, sitting down across from me.

One of the waiters comes by and takes our order for the drink, handing us the menus before he leaves again. I look down at the menu, but am unable to concentrate as I feel Richard’s eyes on me. I look up at him and he smiles sweetly at me. “You look amazing, (Y/N).”

A light blush creeps onto my face, “Thank you, Rich.” My eyes are stuck on his for a moment, “You look very nice yourself.”

Richard smiles as well and eventually picks up the menu laid down before him on the table. “What do you suggest?” he peaks an eye at me and I smile at him before looking down at my own menu. “If I remember correctly, you always used to love a good beef burger. Let me tell you, they serve the best burgers here.”

“A good burger does sound delicious.” Richard grins and puts away the menu, “What are you going to take?”

I put my menu away as well and grin back at him, “I guess it’ll be two burgers for this table.”

A waitress comes by with our drinks and takes the order, smiling at the both of us. “You’re Richard Madden.” she speaks softly to Richard, as if not to be rude. Richard smiles kindly and nods. “I hope you’ll enjoy the food, have a nice day, you two.” She says very sweetly, sending me one last smile before going back to the bar.

“I take it not all of them are as kind as she was?” I say with a soft chuckle and Richard shakes his head, laughing. “No, she was an exception.” He’s silent for a moment, studying my face before speaking up again. “Don’t you feel weird? Sitting here with me?”

I raise my brows a little at his question, shaking my head. “No, not at all. I know you’ve become well-known worldwide, but to me you’re still Richard, the boy that used to be my very best friend when we were young teens.”

Richard smiles at my answer. “Is it weird to you?” He shakes his head, “No. It feels really nice to be here. I’m really glad I finally had the guts to message you yesterday. If I hadn’t, I probably would’ve been sulking about it the entire time.”

I laugh softly at his statement and so does Richard. Lunch goes by much too fast, we talk pretty much the entire time, both enjoying our burgers very much. After lunch, I feel slightly sad, I don’t want this to end yet. I’m having such a great time and I’m so happy to be back in touch with Richard.

“(Y/N)?” Richard speaks up as we’re walking back to the station. I look up at him, “Yeah?”

It looks as though he’s gathering some sort of confidence before he speaks again, “I would like to take you out for dinner tomorrow evening. What do you say?”

A smile enters my face and I smile lovingly at him, “I’d love that, Rich.”

He smiles and lets out a small sigh when he notices we’ve reached the station. “It’s leaving in a couple of minutes. I guess I should get going now.”

“Yeah,” I say, a tone of sadness in my voice. “make sure you get home safely. We’ll be in contact about tomorrow. You’ve got my number.”

Richard smiles and nods. He leans down and presses a soft, sweet kiss on my cheek. “You get home safe as well. I’ll text you when I’m home. I had a great time today.”

The feeling of his lips on my cheek causes my cheeks to turn slightly red and I wrap my arms around him in a short hug, “See you tomorrow, Rich.”

He smiles and hugs me back, kissing the top of my head before walking towards the train and getting in. “See you tomorrow.” He adds before disappearing inside.

[hopeatermeetsgodzilla]

Chapter 4

“Human.” Alan Jonah turned toward the voice. Ghidorah was back, the three pair of black eyes and crescent moon marking on his forehead looming over him and contrasting the golden color of the shimmering specter. “I’ve returned to update myself on the situation. When are you going to free I and my servants?”

“Soon enough, we already have a plan made.” Jonah tried reassuring the specter, who tsk-ed.

“Really?” The soul took on a wisp-like form for a moment, getting away from Jonah as he got up only to reform, what the terrorist could only assume to be an imitation of the Titan’s hair floating around him like a halo. “Because it sounds to me like you’re making excuses for not being capable of freeing me.”

(Ichi might be stuck projecting his soul outside of his body to manipulate some lowly humans into helping him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun with it. It also meant he had to lie about his brothers being slaves instead of what made two thirds of his being, but it had been San’s idea and Ni had seconded it, their ground being that they didn’t want some human to try and use their bond as a weakness.)

“We do have a plan.” Jonah hissed through gritted teeth, Ghidorah giggling. “It’s just taking us time to put it into motion. If you would please follow me.”

Jonah started walking down a corridor of the hijacked Monarch base, the specter following him in his wisp form, apparently to avoid being seen by people he had no business with. They arrived in a room full of computers, the only person here a dark-skinned woman with her hair in a bun as Ghidorah switched back to something more humanoid.

“Kane?” The woman turned toward them, gasping in surprise when she saw Ghidorah, who’s only reaction was to tilt his head to the side inquisitively. “This is King Ghidorah. It turns out that Titans can project themselves outside of their bodies, and this is Titan we’re attempting to free.”

Upon seeing the golden specter’s inquisitive head tilt, Emily got up, back straight and shoulders squared, and bowed her head. “M- My name is Emily Kane. I am a hacker of the Titan Liberation Front, as well as one of it’s spies and biological engineers. It’s an honor to meet you, King Ghidorah.”

Ghidorah straightened his head, one hand reaching out to make Emily stand straight again. “You can rise, and the information is appreciated. Now, I believe your king wanted you to show me how you were going to free my body from it’s icy prison?”

(Ichi hadn’t tilted his head in confusion to know who the human woman was. He had because he thought the bugs valued kindness in a leader. Emotionally speaking, this Emily radiated warmth, while the king of this little group was as cold as the ice his brothers and he were imprisoned in.)

“That is right!” Emily declared, sitting bakck down and starting to type on her computers. “Now, I think Monarch got themselves a new chief programmer because I kept bumping into firewalls and redirections and passwords demands at some point we got a virus that would make the Power Rangers theme song play over the speakers non-stop-”

“Get to the point, Kane.”

“While I appreciate your efforts to explain modern human technology, it’s ultimately irrelevant to me.”

“... right. We eventually got some footage of yesterday.” She explained. “Monarch’s most recent addition, and I have reasons to believe he’s also the most dangerous, Julian Cyan Florès, finished the ORCA prototype yesterday. Here’s the footage.”

-

“- and if you turn the dial here-” Florès pointed at a dial with numbers circling it. “-you can either amplify or diminish the Titans bioacoustic’s imitations. Which is good, because the only sound the prototype can make is one that essentially means ‘stand down, I’m in charge here’, and the louder it gets, the more forceful it is.”

“On which Titan are you guys going to test it?” A soldier stationed at Castle Bravo asked from the back of the control room.

“Hopefully, with one that’s benevolent, like the Infant Titan, and not a bitch like the Mara Titan.” Florès deadpanned. “He might be the shortest of the documented Titans, but that motherfucker is still four and a half meters tall and filled with impotent rage, and he can fly and takes baths in lava.” 

“For the Americans in here, that’s roughly a little under fifteen feet tall.” Coleman informed them, getting up as Florès sat back down. “Just with this, we have a tool that will allow us to keep the Titans away from major cities when they start awakening en masse. Any questions?” A beat, then someone raised their hand. “Emma?”

“What are the future plans for the ORCA?” Dr Russell asked, tilting her head in interest.

“Well, firstly: a widespread security system tailored for cities to keep the Titans from rampaging through them, with enough options to keep them at bay.” Coleman started. “This system will use a sound bank that means ‘our territory’. Hopefully, it’ll be enough until a more concrete anti-Titan security system can be found.”

“We’re considering electro-magnetism shields.”  Florès added from his seat, Coleman nodding.

“What about communication with the Titans?” Dr Graham asked.

“Excellent question; Florès, I’m letting you take the helm again.”

“Thank you, Coleman.” The younger man stated as he got back up. “My current plan for now is that, once we have more material to work with, to create an audio-helmet with a microphone.” Florès started. “After that, I would create a rudimentary translation program that should, at least, allow us to communicate back and fort knowing the other’s intent using the final. That would be the final ORCA.” 

“That doesn’t seem very ideal-”

“Ideally, however,” Florès snapped at Stanton, his tone clearly getting the ‘I wasn’t finished’ message across. “I would scrap the ORCA all together and create a new form of Titan communication called the All-Speak, which would allow us to have direct and concise discussions with Titans, amongst other thing!”

“And how much,” Colonel Foster started, her hand going back down, “would both of these projects cost?”

“The ORCA would just require an increase in resources and maybe some additional staff.” Florès started. “The biggest setback will be getting all of the Titans sound to put into it, but once the first official model is complete, we should be able to mass-produce it. As for the All-Speak...” the latino laughed nervously. “Let’s just say the first draft was ‘small computer that connects to your brain’ and it got more complicated from here.”

Everyone turned toward Serizawa, who seemed deep in thought. “For now,” Monarch’s scientist started. “Focus on perfecting the ORCA. If it’s a success, we’ll consider whether or not to start work on the All-Speak.”

“That’s reasonable.” Foster approved, nodding her head as Florès sighed in relief.

“In the meantime, Florès? If you wish to work on the All-Speak as a personal project, feel free to-” 

“DR. SERIZAWA!” A scientist that had stayed at their post suddenly exclaimed, interrupting the man. “THE TITAN ON IWATO ISLAND IS WAKING UP-”

-

“Turn it off.” Ghidorah told Emily, who just acquiesced and proceeded to do so. It wouldn’t do to anger a god, after all.

Jonah turned toward Ghidorah’s specter, gesturing at the screen. “This is how we’re planning to free you: one of scientists in Monarch has a daughter. We kidnap and hold the daughter for ransom, and force the scientist to steal the ORCA and bring it here. We’ll then use the ORCA to send a wake up call to your body.”

“Yes, that would work.” Ghidorah said after a short moment of thinking. “If there is something I hate above all else, it’s receiving orders. Make sure the sound is loud to pierce through the ice.”

“And when that happens,” Jonah started, chuckling, “You will get rid of the Titans that have imprisoned you, and existence will bow down at our feet.”

(Our? Ichi Ghidorah would’ve scoffed at the insinuation that he and this lowly human were equals if it wasn’t so amusing. These humans, who seemed convinced he and his brothers were benevolent and wanted to help them, would find out soon enough just why their ancestors where too scared to even speak the name of the Golden Demise.)

“Oh, don’t worry.” Ghidorah started in a voice Emily could recognize as ‘forced neutrality’ “Humanity will get everything that’s coming to it.”

-

Rodan woke up in a startle, his eyes staring up at the starry skies. He slowly sat up at the edge of his nest, frowning in a deeply-seated worry he couldn’t explain. 

His chest was aching, especially the lightning scar one the Death Song of the Three Storms left him a few thousands of years ago right where is heart was, back when he was still just a regular earth Fowl and not the Fire Demon.

Not as a warning, but as a reminder.

You’re centuries too early for us. Come back when you’re worth looking at.

He shook off the impression that something was terribly, terribly wrong, and went back to sleep.

[let-it-raines]

Not Your (soul)Mate {4/?}

Killian Jones doesn’t like the idea of soulmates. He sees how happy his friends are with theirs, but he still doesn’t like the idea, not when he’s found love and lost it time and time again only to still not know his sign. He has no markings on his skin, no voices in his head, but then one day he meets Emma Swan and everything changes. Because, well, he may not have ink on his skin to tell him who to love, but the very first time that he hears Emma’s voice he knows that she’s the one for him. Then again, that could simply be his desire talking. After all, for every word she speaks, he becomes aroused. 

It’s not the worst thing in the world to be incredibly attracted to a beautiful woman, but things aren’t that simple when she doesn’t have any interest in being his soulmate. 

He’s screwed. And not in the good way.

Rating: Mature

A/N: As always, thank you to @captainsjedi for her art, her support, and her general kindness throughout all of the time that’s been spent working on this story! You’re the best 💛

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @scientificapricot @lifeinahole27 @captswanis4vr @a-faekindagirl @galaxyzxstark @emmas-storybook @searchingwardrobes @spartanguard @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @dreameronarooftop15 @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @wellhellotragic @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @ultraluckycatnd @artistic-writer @cs-forlife @andiirivera @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @xellewoods @thejollyroger-writer @cssns

-/-

“Fuck,” she mutters under her breath before pulling her finger to her lips, trying to sooth the paper cut. She’s literally broken her arm before. How does a paper cut hurt so much worse? That just doesn’t seem right or something. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“For someone who works in an office, you swear like a sailor.”

She holds the middle finger of her free hand up to David while her legs begin to tap underneath her desk to try to make her focus on something else other than this pain. What did she do? Slice her entire finger open on a document about Leroy being drunk and disorderly at the Rabbit Hole last night?

They’ve got to switch to digital files.

And Leroy has to stop getting drunk and then serenading the people who live in the apartment building across from the Rabbit Hole at two in the morning.

And they really have to get another bar in this town, especially with how many tourists that they get in the summer months. Granny’s doesn’t count. She goes there more than anyone else, especially when she meets up with Ariel on their lunch breaks, but it is not a bar atmosphere even if she sells alcohol, most of which is stronger than the stuff at the Rabbit Hole. Granny knows how to pack a punch. Then again, Ruby has to get it from someone.

“Fuck off, David,” she bites, pulling her finger out of her mouth and looking at the miniscule damage that’s been caused there. How in the world does that cause this much pain? It’s probably extra because Leroy haunts the paper or something. She may have lost her mind. “This hurts.”

“Wash it and put a band-aid over it,” he shrugs, looking up at her over her coffee mug. Sometimes she hates that ever since Graham quit (apparently it was too hard to look at her face after they broke up even if he was the one off living with his soulmate) it’s only she and David in this department. Storybrooke is too small a town to need a lot of detectives, and even though most of the time she spends her time doing the work of a patrol officer, at least she gets paid like a detective.

There are perks.

And she loves David, but sometimes it’s too much to spend all day with him.

Today is one of those days.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

“Not a Captain quite yet.”

She rolls her eyes at his cheeky smile at the same time that she rolls her chair back and across the room to the area where they keep their coffee machine and their first aid kit, oddly enough. She’s pretty sure they also keep extra ink in this cabinet as well, but David is always the one who changes out the printer stuff anyways. If their printer doesn’t work, she always heads downstairs and uses the one in the bullpen.

It’s really not because she’s lazy. The printer is evil. Pure evil.

“We have got to switch to a digital filing system,” she tells David as she unpeels the band-aid and wraps it around her finger. “I know we don’t have the money for it, but we should do a fundraiser or something. I’m sure Mary Margaret would love to put on a bake sale.”

“How much money can a bake sale make?”

She shrugs her shoulders and twists her chair around before propping her feet up on Graham’s old desk, her boots banging against the wood. “I don’t know, but my other option was making a calendar with all of the hot male cops in it. Like, sixty percent of Storybrooke would buy that.”

David scoffs and pulls his head back, his face practically in his neck while his brows furrow together, all of those little old man wrinkles coming into play. He’s such an older brother type. If she’d ever had any family, she imagines he would be the type of sibling she’d want. She loves Mary Margaret, but she’d kill her if she had to spend all of her time listening to that never-ending optimism about every little aspect of life.

“Why only the male cops?”

“Because the equality here sucks, and I don’t think Ashley and I can fill up an entire calendar. Plus, you know, women have been objectified for thousands of years. You guys can have a turn. Also, it’s illegal for me to show my nipples in any kind of publication that’s not HBO. You can show yours even though our nipples look the same.”

“You’ve compared my nipples to yours then?”

“Gross,” she moans, tilting her head back in a laugh so that her hair falls over the back of her chair. It’s kind of hot in here, June really living up to its reputation, so while she’s still very unfortunately thinking about the similarity in her nipples (she’s thought the word nipples far too many times in two minutes) to David’s, she pulls her hair up into a ponytail, fluffing it out in the rubber band so that it’s no longer on her neck. “Let’s not have that conversation again. Like, ever.”

“Agreed.”

After messing around for a little while longer, she rolls back to her desk and goes back to her paperwork. She’s behind after missing half of work yesterday to go to the dentist, so she’s still got quite the dent to make in her stack. This town should not have this much paperwork, and she swears half of this stuff should be filed at city hall anyways. One day this town is going to make sense. She loves it, really. It’s the first place that’s ever felt like home for her, but it’s all kinds of weird.

Just as she’s made her way through half of her paperwork, there’s a knock on their open door, and she turns to see Ashley holding a large basket.

“Hey, Ems. This basket was dropped off for you at the front desk.”

“Are you sure?”

Ashley holds up a white card, the word “Swan” written across it in neat, scrawling script. If this were any other town, she’d be convinced that someone was trying to poison her or something, but this really only seems like some kind of creepy gift.

Not a murderous one.

“Well okay then,” she mumbles to herself before getting out of her chair, her legs aching a bit from how she’s had them crossed, and walking to take the basket from Ashley. “Did you see who dropped this off?”

“Mr. French did. It’s from his bakery. I’d recognize those blueberry muffins anywhere. If you don’t eat them, I’d be happy to take them off of your hands.”

She laughs and looks down into the basket. It’s full of bread. Like, a hell of a lot of bread. It’s mostly rolls and baguettes, but she sees the muffins and a few cinnamon rolls in there that she would recognize everywhere. Living with Belle means they always have books, but her dad always sends them baked goods and flowers too. She’s never quite gotten the full story of how Mr. French came to own a flower shop and a bakery, but he’s pretty much got the Valentine’s Day market down.

Smart man. People lost their minds over Valentine’s Day.

“You can have the rolls, but these muffins are all mine. I’m not going to refuse free food.”

“Smart lady. I’ll see you guys later!”

“Bye, Ash,” she says as Ashley walks away and she turns back into the office, placing the food down on her desk and pointedly ignoring the smirk that David’s got painted on his lips right now. She is not acknowledging that, especially since she already knows what he’s going to say. “You want a muffin?” she asks instead, picking a chocolate chip one out and unpeeling the wrapper before popping a bite in her mouth. “They’re really good.”

“I didn’t know you were dating someone,” David teases, reaching over and grabbing a roll. “And that he is very into bread.”

“I’m not dating anyone,” she murmurs under her breath, not caring that her mouth is full. David knows not to tease her about her love life, and here he is doing just that while eating her food. Traitor.

She guesses she did offer it to him, but that’s beside the point.

“Really?” he hums, and before she can stop him, he reaches over and grabs the envelope that she hasn’t opened yet, snatching it away from her grasp as she gets up and tries to take it from him, practically tripping over a filing cabinet and nearly stubbing her toe into David’s desk while he holds the card in the air (sometimes she hates how much taller he is than her) and reads it aloud. “Swan, since you said we couldn’t steal the bread from Belle at dinner, I figured you’d like some delicacies that still stem from the French family.”

It takes her less than a second to realize who sent her the bread basket, and it takes her approximately two seconds to figure out how she’s going to strangle him with a baguette.

Killian Jones.

Killian freaking Jones.

That’s not his middle name, but she feels like it might as well be. Or maybe something a little more crass. What the hell is he doing sending her a bread basket? She gets it. She does. It’s a clever callback to their dinner last week. The dinner that was so clearly a set up from their friends.

It doesn’t matter how many times she asks them to stop interfering with her love life, they never do. And there they were trying to set her up on a date with the one person who she doesn’t want to go on a date with. There they were setting her up with a man she can’t even speak to without getting aroused. She’s had months to let that settle in, and it’s still the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard in her life.

She’s heard a lot of ridiculous things too.

But Killian was nice, if not a little inappropriate sometimes with some of his jokes. She gets that though. She’s not a prude. She’s got a sailor’s mouth and likes to talk about sex and make innuendos as much as the next girl (if that girl is a mix between Ruby and Mary Margaret), so she’s used to it. She finds it funny. She finds him funny if she’s honest with herself, but liking Killian is not something she ever really plans on doing even if he’s hypothetically her soulmate.

(It’s easier to say hypothetically instead of admitting it to herself every single time she thinks about it.)

A part of her is still convinced that something else is going on, but she can’t figure any other explanation out. She’s spent weeks, literal weeks, thinking about it while trying to go to bed at night and is left alone with her thoughts and with the sounds of Belle and Will in Belle’s bedroom. Eventually they have got to move in together because Emma’s not sure how long she can live sharing a wall if Will is going to stay over.

It’s always the quiet ones who make the most noise.

But she gets it. Soulmates aside, they’re still human beings. They didn’t instantly fall in love, and not everything is perfect. They have issues and fights, and honestly, the tiny part of her that has faith in this whole thing is only reassured by that. She doesn’t want perfect. She’s never wanted perfect. Really, she hates the whole concept of perfect.

“You’re perfect, Ems.”

She shakes that thought of Neal away and looks back to David who is still smirking, looking for all the world like the cat who ate the canary, and accepts the fact that even though Killian Jones is not the worst person in the world, that doesn’t mean she has to run and leap into his arms and let him sweep her away with his accent and charm and…bread. She can still go about her business like usual. They’re not friends, and they don’t have to be.

Their text conversation that one night aside.

“Who sent you this food?” David asks again, sitting down in his desk chair and tossing her the card. She lets it fall to the ground, landing just below her desk. “And don’t lie to me. I can apparently ask Belle or her dad.”

“It’s nothing.”

“You’re blushing.”

“I’m not blushing.”

“Look at the red on your cheeks! That’s blush!”

“It’s June. It’s called a sunburn.”

“Blush.”

“I hate you.”

He rips off another piece of bread and takes a bite. “You love me, but alright, I won’t ask who your mystery man is just yet. I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

“That,” she chuckles, “is not ever happening.”

It takes until a little past six to get all of her paperwork finished, but she finally does, her hand only cramping the slightest bit. She’s serious about some kind of fundraiser for the department. She needs a computer system that’s better than the one they have now. And, yeah, maybe a bake sale won’t work, but that calendar will. Mary Margaret and Ruby alone will buy the place out.

(Mary Margaret because she’s supporting David; Ruby because she likes hot men.)

They’re most likely not doing a calendar, but she’ll come up with something. Maybe she can go to city hall and see if they can find a little room in the budget. She’s sure there has to be room somewhere. Hell, they haven’t been paying the extra detective’s salary since Graham left. It’s probably all sitting in a bank account somewhere.

Maybe they can get a better coffee machine while they’re at it.

She could go for some coffee right now as she walks past Granny’s on the way to her apartment, nodding her head at some of the families that pass by. It’s summer in Storybrooke, which means family after family is flooding into town to use their beach and stay at the few rental houses that line the dock area. It’s a nice place, she can admit that. It’s part of what drew her here from Boston in the first place. She needed out and away from a large city and wanted somewhere nice and quiet, at least for a little while.

She’s been here for seven years.

And maybe she doesn’t get out to the beach as often as she used to, but she’s usually always working. Plus, it’s crowded all summer long. She has to go early in the mornings to get any peace a quiet there, and mostly it’s too cold for that. This is Maine after all.

She’ll go running there in the morning, really work up a sweat before work, maybe even see the sunrise.

Who is she kidding? She’s not going to get up early enough to see the sunrise.

A little bit after, though.

Ten minutes later she gets to her apartment building, taking the stairs the three floors up with her basket of bread and walking inside to find Belle sitting on the couch drinking a glass of wine and watching an episode of the Bachelor. She has a lot of thoughts on that show, most of them probably pretty insulting, but if she’s drunk enough, she can find it entertaining enough.

Though, she’ll never understand why there’s a show on finding love when everyone already has that predestined partner.

Money. Publicity. Ratings. And the occasional time when someone very literally finds their soulmate on the show.

“Hey,” she tells Belle, dropping her keys onto their tray. There’s her chapstick too.

“Hi,” Belle greets her, twisting around before turning back to look at the television. “This guy just jumped over the fence on here, and they can’t find him.”

“How can they not find him? They live on a compound.”

(So maybe she knows more about the show than she’s willing to admit.)

(Maybe she can be a bit more into it than she’s willing to admit.)

(Maybe she watches with Belle because this is when they get to hang out and when Belle breaks out the good wine.)

“He jumped over the fence to get out of the compound because the girl he loves just broke up with him.”

“No,” she gasps, walking over to the couch and placing the basket on the table before plopping down on the couch and pulling Belle’s fuzzy white blanket over her legs. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do when Belle does finally move out because all of the nice stuff in the living room is hers. “Are you serious? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, apparently he was – ” Belle stops talking while she watches the host chase after the fence jumping guy (she can’t remember his name). “Why do you have a giant gift basket of food from my dad’s bakery?”

Well shit.

“Oh, um,” she mumbles, messing with the tips of her hair, “someone dropped it off for me at the station today.”

She’s very pointedly not looking at Belle who she knows is looking at her. This Bachelor rerun is very exciting. How could she possibly look away? She can’t. It’s against the rules.

“Who?”

“Um, I don’t know,” she sighs as she reaches forward to grab another muffin, stuffing it in her mouth. She really does have to go running in the morning if she’s going to eat all of this. “There was no name. It was an anonymous donor or something. Probably just someone wanting to thank me for helping the town.”

Her eyes cut over to Belle, and she sees her readjusting her seat, sitting up on her knees while a grin slowly starts to form on her face.

Shit.

She’s about to get interrogated.

“Let me call my dad and ask who ordered this. He can tell us that way we know.”

“No, no, no. Let’s not do that.”

“Too late. I’m calling him.”

“Belle.”

“I’m doing it.”

She watches Belle pick up her phone, already dialing her dad, and in a move that she’s not proud of, she practically jumps over to Belle, grabbing her phone out of her hand and snatching it away unlike how she wasn’t able to grab the note out of David’s hand.

“Ha,” she laughs, standing up on the couch and backing away with the phone, “now you can’t.”

“Did you get drunk at work or something?” Belle chuckles, falling back against the couch cushions. “I mean, you can’t keep my phone forever, and also, I can just walk to go see my dad. So I’m thinking you know who sent you the basket, and you should definitely tell me. I’m going to find out no matter what.”

“If I tell you,” she begins cautiously, slowly settling down on the couch and taking a deep breath, “you have to promise to listen to the explanation and not make a big deal out of it. because I promise that it’s not a big deal.”

“You’re blushing. It’s a big deal.”

She rolls her eyes, throwing Belle’s phone back at her. “I hate you.”

“You do not.” She feels like she’s had this exact conversation before. Talk about Deja vu. “Now tell me. No one came into the library today, and I have been starved for entertainment.”

“Have you ever considered reading a book?”

“Ha ha,” she deadpans, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. “So funny. Now tell me who this is from before I walk to my dad’s.”

There’s suddenly a very interesting piece of lint on her blouse, and she focuses on picking at it while she mumbles, “Killian Jones sent it.”

“You want to say that again?”

She groans and throws her head back, clenching her teeth before looking at Belle. “Killian sent it to me.” Belle’s eyes light up, her lips parting to say something, and Emma holds up a finger before she can finish. “No, we are not dating, and no, we did not hit it off with each other the other night. While you and Will were arguing over your vacation, he made a joke about taking the bread and making a run for it. I told him we weren’t doing that, and for some reason he decided to spend far too much money sending me the largest basket of bread I’ve ever seen.”

“That is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,” Belle practically squeals, jumping up and down a little on the couch. “Oh my gosh, I have to tell Mary Margaret.”

“I will rip the pages of a chapter out of one of your favorite books if you tell Mary Margaret.”

“Traitor.”

Yep. Definitely a sense of deja vu here.

“You’re the one who’s about to make a big deal out of nothing and who’s only going to make it worse by telling Marg.”

“It’s cute. Killian likes you. He’s obviously trying to impress you.”

“I don’t want to be impressed,” she huffs, scooting down further on the couch and toeing her shoes off before she takes another bite of her muffin, the crumbs falling on her shirt. “I want to go to work and do my job and then come home and watch the History Channel without anyone interrupting me. I don’t need a guy trying to make me smile with baked goods.”

“Oh, hon,” Belle sighs, reaching over and placing her hand over Emma’s, the compassion in her eyes so different than the glint of teasing that was just there, “it’s okay to flirt and have fun every now and then. Killian is a nice guy. He’s not trying to hurt you.”

“Just hurt my waistline.”

“Yeah, maybe that. Look, I can tell this is bothering you, and since I know you, I know it’s probably some deep seeded fear that no one but you knows about that’s going to make you drive yourself crazy. Don’t overthink the gift. That’s all that it is. And I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thank you.”

She doesn’t say more because she doesn’t want to say more. Belle is right. This is about more than Killian being playful and teasing her. It’s about the fact that Neal did the same thing. So did Walsh. Graham did too, really, but she wouldn’t ever categorize him in the same douchebag category as Neal and Walsh. She probably wouldn’t categorize Walsh the same way that she does Neal, and he cheated on her. For months. And she didn’t even really care at the end of that even though she’ll never see the Fourth of July in the same way again. She was already checked out and resigned to herself never finding someone who she could trust.

And Neal…she doesn’t want to think about Neal. She can’t. It hurts too much.

That’s why Killian and his flirting and his bread basket terrify her. He can so easily charm her, is probably already on his way there, and if this whole magnetic thing between them really is their sign, that terrifies her all the more. Because what if he is her soulmate, and what if they still can’t make it work?

What if?

What if they’re the ones who can’t make it work?

But it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t know him, not really. She barely knows anything about him, and unless he keeps hounding her with random gifts that are going to make her go up a jean size, it’s not like she’s going to have to see him that much more.

So it’s all just fine.

When her alarm goes off the next morning, she almost turns it off and sleeps in, but something keeps her up and gets her going so that she’s lacing her sneakers and tugging on a sports bra and some leggings as she makes her way down to the beach, starting at the pier closest to her apartment and running until her legs burn and her chest aches while all of her other problems melt away. She runs and runs and runs until…

Well, until she sees Killian himself running toward her, his dark hair flopping up and down with his movements as his brother runs beside him, the two of them seemingly racing each other on the sand. She knows the moment he sees her because he falls behind Liam, his step faltering a bit before he speeds up again and moves toward her with this goofy grin on his face that almost makes her stop in her tracks, her feet sinking through all of the sand.

“Hey, Emma,” Liam yells to her, stopping his jog right in front of her. “I didn’t know you ran this early in the mornings. Elsa never mentioned that.”

“I usually don’t,” she gasps, reaching up to wipe the sweat from her brow and avoiding Killian’s gaze as a wave crashes behind her, sea mist reaching the skin on her ankles. Really, all that does is allow her to see the muscles on his stomach under his shirt, and she’s not sure how that helps. “I had a lot to eat yesterday and am trying not to be majorly bloated. Plus, I missed the beach.”

Killian coughs, and her eyes finally find his and notice the way his jaw is ticking. She almost forgot the effect she has on him, but she can tell that he’s squirming a bit, that he hasn’t spoken.

Why are the seagulls on this beach so damn loud?

“Don’t you just love the beach?” she continues, her lips pressing into a smile while she looks right at Killian. “It’s so beautiful, especially in the mornings before all of the crowds get here. I bet you guys spend a lot of time out on the water with your jobs.”

“Not as much as I’d like,” Liam admits, looking over to his brother. “Killian gets to a little more than me, though. He’s very hands on. Maybe one day we can take you out on one of our new boats that we’re test driving. I’m sure Elsa would love that.”

“I would love that too. We can make it a whole thing with some of our friends. Wouldn’t you love that, Killian?”

“Aye,” he grits, his fists clenching at his sides. “That’d be great.”

Her body tingles at his words, the beginnings of arousal pooling between her thighs, but as they continue to talk, she ignores it and makes sure that she gets more words in than him. It’s more fun than she thought it would be, and it only causes her a little pain. Maybe he doesn’t deserve her to torture him like this, but she did have to endure a lot of teasing from her friends yesterday like they’re all high schoolers. What’s fair is fair after all.

“Alright, lass,” Liam says a few minutes later, beginning to jog in place, “we best be going and let you finish your run.”

“Okay. I’ll text Elsa about that day out on the water, okay?”

“Sounds great.”

Liam begins to jog out of the way, and she thinks that Killian is going to join him, but instead he steps closer to her, his beard briefly scratching her ear as he leans in to whisper, his breath hot against her ear. “Two can play at this game, love.”

[canumoveurseatup-no]

Shadow and Shade Casting List (Part 1)

(IF YOU ARE TAGGED IN THIS IT IS BECAUSE YOU EITHER ASKED TO BE TAGGED IN THIS SERIES AND I WANNA KEEP YOU IN THE LOOP OR YOU’RE ON PERMANENT TAGS!!)

So I’m the type of person that likes to put a face to a name so I’m making this “casting list” to help y’all visualize the other Gods and Goddesses (Nyx’s children and siblings) for Shadow and Shade. This is my interpretation and how I see them. You of course will play yourself/Nyx and the Avengers will obviously play themselves!!

This took a lot of time and effort when it came to finding information and it was hard to find the abilities/powers and homes of like one or two so I had to come up with that myself based off of their title.

There are more characters but I will be posting in parts so the post doesn’t get too cluttered!!

——-

Zoë Kravitz as Hemera, Goddess of Daytime:

Daughter of Nyx, also a Protogenoi

Abilities:

-Pyrokinesis (can launch projectile blasts of flame at opponents. Can appear and disappear in columns of flames)

-Photokinesis (create illusions, hallucinations, light shields, force fields, project healing energies, blasts light to impale or blind enemies for some time/ or forever)

Home: Tartarus, during the night

Personality/Traits: Since she is literally your (Nyx) opposite, you two argue and bump heads a lot. As the Goddess of Daytime she is very bubbly. Many Olympians adore her for her positive outlook on everything. She is known to be naïve here and there and because of that she can be tricked easily. She has a kind heart unlike some of her siblings.

Quote: “Then Mother, somehow, all by herself, had me, Hemera, I am Day. Us two never got along because we are as different as... well, you know”

———

Keirsey Clemons as Styx, Goddess of Hatred and the River boundary between Earth and the Underworld:

Also daughter of Nyx (I know some myths say she’s the daughter of Oceanus and Tethys but not in this)

Abilities:

-Hydrokinesis: as a river nymph, she possesses a considerable about of power over and control over her river.

-Toxikinesis: Just like her river, she can burn away souls.

-She’s a Binder of Oaths: she has the power to bind an oath of the Gods and punish those who break them.

-Odikinesis: as the Goddess of Hatred, she can sense, insight and remove hatred.

-Power Bestowal: She can bestow incredible power to mortals, giving humans the power to physically challenge a God/Goddess.

-Necromancy: can summon souls of those who have broken oaths, to her aid, as their souls belong to her in Death.

Home: the Underworld.

Personality/Traits: She is filled with hatred but can be nice if those around her are nice to her. She is a pessimist.

Quote: “For thousands of years, you mortals have been throwing in everything as you come across- hopes, dreams, wishes that never came true. Irresponsible waste management, if you ask me,”

—-

Ashleigh Murray as Keres, Goddess of Violent Death:

Daughter of Nyx. The Keres (singular, Ker) are actually multiple deathly female spirits but come to one when personified, her race is a Daimon which means spirit in Greek. The Keres are the Greek version of Valkyries as they are both war spirits that fly over battlefields and choose those to be slain.

Abilities:

-Death Empowerment: She feeds off death, which means her power increases when people die.

-Poison: She has a deadly poison that only the power of a God, Titan, or similar being can heal.

Home: the Underworld

Personality/Traits: Keres is very dark. She loves dark humor, she dislikes Hemera and Philotes for their happy go lucky attitude. She is very pessimistic and stand offish. She loves making games of the lives of mortals with her brother, Moros.

Quote: “I am full of rage. Die in pain!,”

——-

Vanessa Morgan as Akhyls, Goddess of Misery and Poisons:

Daughter of Nyx. Also a protogenoi.

Abilities: 

-Toxikinesis: As Goddess of poisons, she has absolute control and divine authority over poison.

-Death Mist Control: death mist is a supernatural force. It shrouds demigods and mortals from the presence of monsters

Home: Tartarus near the Night Mansion/Palace

Personality/Traits: Has self-esteem issues. She’s a complete sadist. She trusts no one.

Quote: “Minor Goddess? I was old before the titans were born. I was old when Gaia first woke. Misery is eternal. Existence is misery. I was born of the eldest one- Night and the grandchild of Chaos”

--------

Sierra McClain as Oizys, Goddess of Depression , Anxiety and Grief:

Daughter of Nyx. Momus, is her twin brother.

Abilities:

-absolute power over pain, suffering, misery, anxiety and depression.

-able to cause her enemies absolute mental and physical anguish

-can make healed wounds feel as if they’ve never healed, causing opponents considerable pain.

-can control mental/emotional misery and sorrow at will, either lowering its severity or boosting it.

-can perpetuate a state of distress, this forces the opponent/victim to focus solely on sorrow and misery in their mind, making them panic.

-empowered by the pain of those around her.

Home: Tartarus

Personality/Traits: She is confident as fuck but she hates the life that was given to her. She hates causing others pain and distress, especially if they are innocent and don’t deserve it. She is a pitiful Goddess and often looks back and sometimes regrets her decisions. She hates fixing them so often she’ll leave them to rot. 

Quote: “The truth is... I feel broken inside. Intoxicated with madness, in love with sadness,”

———

Kat Graham as Philotes, Goddess of Affection, Friendship and Sex:

Daughter of Nyx. Minor Goddess. She is a force of good things. Literally the odd ball (other than Hemera) of the family because all her siblings are evil and then there’s her. But they protect the hell outta her!

Abilities:

-she is a sexual and spiritual guide to those in need

-can be a seductress/femme fatale

-able to bring love, civility and refinement into the world around her through her value of relationship and deep caring.

-can control love between two people

Home: Tartarus but mostly finds herself on Earth having affairs with mortals.

Personality/Traits: She’s offended by life-destroying offerings (blood sacrifices). Loves dressing sexy or not dressing at all tbh. She’s charming, a big extrovert, adores being the center of attention, and she loves love! She loves bringing people together and has a thing for playing match maker. The topic of sex is casual to her, EXTREMELY flirtatious. She is very sensual, loves everything about the body and being in touch with one’s sexuality.

Quote: “Through me, we can discover our strength, enlighten our minds, own our bodies and celebrate our emotions,”

-----

Logan Browning as Eleos, Goddess of Compassion, Pity and Mercy:

Daughter of Nyx.

Abilities:

-able to induce and manipulate feelings of compassion, mercy and pity.

-gains strength from feelings and acts of kindness

-able to induce intense feelings of compassion, mercy and pity in her opponents

-She can enter a frenzy in which she has no compassion, mercy or pity for a while. When in this state, she can’t distinguish who is friend, foe or an innocent bystander

-can curse an opponent’s weapon with feelings of compassion and kindness, so that it heals wounds instead of causing them.

-can heal injuries on her or others’ bodies by performing acts of kindness.

-can remove any compassion, kindness etc from a person and/or animal, causing them to fight.

Home: Athens

Personality/Traits: She isn’t happy often tbh but always willing to show kindness. She’s shy, vulnerable and “weak”. As she is the Goddess of compassion, she is often sad. She hates attention and hates to be approached by people.

Quote: “Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. So put on tender mercy and kindness as if they were your clothes,”

————-

So this is part one of the casting list!! Let me know what you guys think!💕 (if tag has a slash through it, it didn’t work)

Tags- @sideeffectsofyou @chonisberonica @majikmelanin @vozit @mirajanestrauss1999 @scarletlingeries @babybubastis @whothehellisbinky @amandahq @jillilama-blog @motivation-idontknowher @anise-d-castle6 @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @adreamemporium @ssaaraw @a-lumos-in-the-nox @blackreaders-assemble @unstable1902 @winksasleeplesseye @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @cutiepiemimi13 @celishaa-xx @mbaku-babygirl

[bestsuccessstories]

STORY 1

TRUE SUCCES STORY OR “OUT OF THE WOODS”

When you decide to hunt your dream, sometimes you may feel like Prince Charming.You have to go into the dark woods alone, get lost, then climb to the tallest treetop to actually see your path (Prince Charming, as well as success hunters is not provided with a map)Afterwards, it is required to defeat several very wicked withes and train your dragon, meanwhile, the magic volcano continues erupting behind you.Only after these entertaining activities have finished could he have an entire Kingdom in addition with a pretty Princess.

Yes, a way to your dream can be covered with fear and doubt.That’s why  very important to remind yourself, that this road dotted with mountains will lead you to the most beautiful destination you have ever seen and the harder your path is, the more beautiful view you will admire in the end.What truly helps success hunters, is an example of those, who managed to get out of the darkest woods and made come true the most impossible dream (leaving all very wicked witches and dragons crying behind).

This is a story like that (a real story of a successful company, try to find out the name in the end)

Once upon a time, two success hunters decided to completely change their routine and moved to San Francisco, ready to realise their dream. As it should be, when your dream is big enough, there are always difficulties arising.Without employment, it was quite hard to pay the rent and they were looking for a way to earn some extra money.They noticed that all hotel rooms in the city were booked, as the local Industrial Design conference attracted a lot of visitors.

True success hunters always sees the opportunity in every difficulty.Our heroes bought a few airbeds and put up a website. The idea was to offer visitors a place to sleep and breakfast in the morning. They succeeded and the first guests were sleeping on their floor (a 30-year-old Indian man, a 35-year-old woman from Boston and a 45-year-old father of four from Utah)

After they had those guests, they did nothing for about four months.There were no more bookings through their website, so they didn’t think the ‘airbed thing’ would work and they decided to came up with another idea.They were trying to build a roommate matching website.It supposed to be Craigslist meets Facebook, for roommates with profiles. Then one day they typed roommates into Google and realised that someone had already built that site. And this was about four weeks after they started working on it.

The main secret of all success hunters is that their dreams are bigger than any obstacles, so they kept working and returned to the original idea. Deciding to stick with the ‘airbed thing’ they found a corder and a third success hunter got to their team.

The major problem was that the site only had two users, one of them was its co-founder. First time they launched at SXSW(Conference & Festivals celebrate the convergence of the interactive, film, and music industries), and only received two bookings(almost a year they had original idea). They built three versions of a website.There is a saying: if you launch and no-one notices that, just launch again so they did.

By the third version it was the Demographic National Convention, all the hotels in Denver were sold out.They decided that was a right time to do a big launch. Barack Obama was coming to Denver, and 80,000 people were expected to visit, but there were only 27,000 hotel rooms.That weekend their website received 80 bookings. The weekend after, they received no bookings.

The same pattern repeated itself for months. They got to about 30,000$ in credit card debt. Our success hunters would go and get credit cards and max them out, and then they would keep getting more credit cards until the bank stopped giving them to our heroes. They were tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

Everybody thought they were crazy, no-one supported them, they had no money. One of our hunters would wake up in the morning and have a panic (Later, he admitted that it was the best weight lost program ever, he probably lost 20 pounds) Every morning he felt his heart pounding, but over the course of the day he would convince himself that everything is going to work out fine (I’ve got a plan, it’s all good-affirmation, he highly recommends) and by the night he would go to bed really confident. The next day, there was like a receipt button and every morning started with panic again.

The day they launched, they had a meeting with a well known investor.There site was down, they didn’t bring a slide deck and that wasn’t a super successful pitch.“It was mostly me and him staring at each other for an hour and he did not invest” will say one of our hunters a couple years later in the interview.

They reached about 20 investors about 15 even didn’t reply to their emails.

They managed to organise another meeting in the cafe.In the middle of the conversation, their potential investor gets up and leaves (that was the last time they have seen him).

They were in debt and trying to figure out how to pay the rent, after the convention they returned back to zero.They built a website, spend a year on it and no-one using it, no one want to come or list their homes because there were no travellers, no traveler want to come to the website where there are no homes.No one wants to be the first person to try the idea like this.Most people thought that was insane.

People around them were receiving funding and developing their companies. The story of our hunters was nothing like that, but they kept working when most people would give up.Very well-known fact (every success hunter must follow) that if you don’t believe in yourself, pretend that you do and, at some point you will.

One night, they were thinking how they are going to pay the rent and keep the company working. They had an idea to provide a breakfast to people going to Demographic National Convention. They were thinking that would be nice to have  a branded breakfast like cereal and they came up with idea Obama’s O’s and Cap’n McCain’s cereals. The front of the box was stamped with “Hope In Every bowl” and on the back it called itself the “Breakfast of Change.” The side of the Cap’n McCain’s box sang the praise of eating squares (Os may look pretty, but have you ever noticed there’s something missing? That’s right, there’s a hole in the middle of every O. With Cap’n McCain’s you get a whole piece of cereal in every bite).They called local cereal companies which said ‘Great, we would like to work with you, all we need is non-refundable deposit’(which was a huge amount of money for young startup)

Another one success hunter’s statement claims that when one door closes, another opens. Finally, they meet a guy who has got a print shop (not a cereal company).He wanted to help and said that he could print a 1000 examples for free (If you succeed and sell this, just give me the royalty).They were literally assembling these boxes in their kitchen (thousand boxes assembling with hot glue).Sitting on the kitchen, they were wondering whether Marc Zukemberg was assembling cereal boxes when he first launched Facebook (unlikely). Was that a good or a bad sign?

So, they had to fold a thousand boxes, pack cereal in them, and sell them for 40 dollars a box. They thought, ‘who is going to pay 40 dollars a box’ but they were limited edition, and they ended up selling about US$30,000 worth of this cereal. But the money they earned only went so far, and in November 2008 the company was broke once more. It got to the point where one of the success hunter’s mother called him and said, ‘look, if you need money I will send you. You don’t need to have strangers in your home to make money’. This was the moment when he started to question the decisions he made in life to get him here. He didn’t felt successful, or smart, or talented. He only felt that the world was against him.

It was a time they decided to enter famous startup accelerator Y Combinator. When they met Paul Graham ( co-founder of Y Combinator),first question he asked was ‘people are doing this?’. They told yes, and he replied,’what’s wrong with them?’ (In the end the interview he thinks it’s the worst idea ever). About to live, they handed him a box of Obama O’s and he said,’if you convince people to buy a box of cereal for 40$, maybe you will convince them to stay in another people’s rooms’. So he let them to Y-Combinator. The company spent the first three months of 2009 at the accelerator, working on perfecting their product.

Over the course of 2010, the site’s weekly revenue doubled. Then it doubled again.They renamed the company and soon received another $600k in a seed round from Sequoia Capital and Y Ventures.

However, not everyone was as impressed with company’s business model.Even during Y Combinator, they still got rejected by investors.The young startup was turned down by Fred Wilson and Union Square Ventures—a decision he now admits wasn’t a good one (in 2011 Union Square kept a box of Obama O’s in their conference room to remind themselves not to make the same mistake again).

Also, the website wasn’t gaining much traction in New York, so our hunters flew out and booked spaces with 24 hosts to figure out what the problem was. As it turned out, users weren’t doing a great job of presenting their listings (the photos were really bad, people were using camera phones).There were no bookings because users couldn’t see what they were paying for. Success hunters got used to challenges, so they found a solution.They rented a $5,000 camera, planning to take professional pictures of as many New York listings as possible and by the end of the month startup’s revenue in the city had doubled.That’s gave them an idea to launch a photography program (hosts could automatically schedule a professional photographer to come and photograph their space).

Four years after the first air mattress guests, company was already in 89 countries. It also won the break-out mobile app award at SXSW (and that’s after its lukewarm launch at the festival in 2008).The same year, one of the valley’s biggest VCs put $112 million into the startup, valuing it at over $1 billion. That made company  a “unicorn” in Silicon Valley.

After years of doubts, debt and disappointment, success hunters came out of the dark woods and showed the world what the true success supposed to mean. In 2011 startup closed a US$112 million round of venture funding. Three years later, it received US$475 million more. In 2015, it collected another US$1.6 billion dollars in the financing alone.

Company has  reached a US$25.5 billion valuation. That makes it bigger than Hilton Worldwide, InterContinental Hotels Group, or any other hotel chain on the planet Earth.

Our success hunters are famous not only for disrupting an industry, changing the game in hospitality, and generated billions of dollars in revenue for themselves, and their users.The main thing, is that they gave a faith to young people all over the world.They showed us, that no matter how huge is your dream, it can become reality. No matter how difficult and hopeless your situation is, it’s all going to work out in the end if you will keep trying. Because every failure brings you closer to success.When you stop believe you actually could reach the top, remember, it always seems impossible until it’s done (Then, you can write a manual called ‘Through the dark woods’ which could help future generations).

You don’t need a supernatural power or a pixie dust to make your dream come true, just be desperate for success and success will be desperate for you, this will be a mutual love in the end. As you know Fortune, is a Lady and Ladies requires dedication.So she will need some time to check whether you are ready to keep going when things will get harder (definitely they will, because very wicked withes are payed well to do their job)but if you show a bit of persistence, she will become your Godmother.You always will hear her kind voice whispering to your year and lightening up your way in the dark woods when very wicked witches will try to lead your astray.

So be it

P.S.You probably guess that the company name was Airbnb and success hunters that inspires us are:Brian Chesky ,Joe Gebbia, Nathan Blecharczyk

[tippitv]

Supernatural Recap: 14:01 “Stranger in a Strange Land”

The road so far... is thirteen years long. Thirteen years. If this show were a person, they would be dealing with acne and/or getting their period. We're on the fourth American presidential term since this show started. My dog Henry looked like this

And now he looks like this:

But back to the show's rock-n-roll montage to catch us up for this season. 

There was a nephilim boy named Jack, an alternate dimension accessible by an episiotomy in spacetime where bad angels ruled and dead characters were still alive, and a weird fight between Dean Winchester (with archangel Michael stuffed up in him like a heavenly turducken) and Lucifer that ended up looking like the video for Total Eclipse of the Heart.

At the end of it, Michael absconded with Dean's hot bod and made him wear a silly cap and break the fourth wall.

As the episode starts, Sam's full beard lets us know that some time has passed since the finale. He's driving through slick streets because it's always raining in the lush coastal rain forest of Kansas. .

But then we cut to some other bearded guy, asleep in a room somewhere that looks like a room they've used on this show a lot, but this time with a weirdly loud background soundtrack of ocean waves and seagulls. The guy gets up, puts his prayer mat down on the floor, and begins praying in what the CC tells me is Arabic.

He looks up to see Michael (in Dean) sitting there in his little cap. "Hello, Jamil," Michael says. Jamil looks surprised, as one should.

Michael quotes from what Google tells me is verse 2:98 of the Holy Quran in order to introduce himself: "Whoever is an enemy to Allah and His angels and His messengers Gabriel and Michael..." He still makes Jamil go through a guessing game. God? No. Gabriel? No. One of these guys in Newsies?

Also no. He says he's there to ask Jamil the same question he's spent weeks asking people all over the world. "Do you want your newspaper on your porch or in your mailbox?"

"What do you want exactly?" Michael asks him. Jamil says he wants peace and love. Michael says "you never would have ran" from Syria if that were true. Okay first of all, that's "would have run," Mister Archangel. Second of all... wait, where did the seagulls go? It's quiet now. As if they left to bother someone else.

Michael flings him around a bit with his angel powers. Like is that even fun? Super powerful beings always act like it is but it's just a normal part of his abilities like my being able to scratch my elbow or blow my nose is normal for me. Anyway, Michael says he wants a better world. Cut to the season's new title card!

Meanwhile, the bunker has been embraced by the resistance fighters from the alternate dimension. Is anybody feeling guilty about the fight they left behind? Are they assuming the fight over there is done because Michael is here now? Mary checks the aim of a new gun by pointing it at or very near these people's danged heads.

The girl already died once so maybe she's unflappable and the guy's too busy getting a monster tooth removed from a wound to notice. He says it happened in Phoenix... which Google tells me is at least a 16-hour drive away if you have a normal car.

Sam joins the bunker, letting us know that he's been in Atlanta checking up on a possible Michael-Dean sighting that turned out to be someone's drug-induced hallucination. It's the good thing the Impala travels a thousand mph or that would've been a lot of wasted time. He and Mary exposit about how it's been three weeks since the end of last season. That's only three weeks of beard growth? Does that seem like a lot just because I don't grow beards?

Sam has just enough time to yawn and be sad before some guy who looks like if maybe Jonathan Van Ness got halfway through getting ready to go chop fire wood tells him there are some "gypsy type" vampires heading east. Boo, Fake Jonathan. Even though he's exhausted, Sam starts delegating teams to go take care of the problem and sits down to hack into a traffic cam.

Then he remembers a cliffhanger from last season. "Hey how's Jack?"

Cut to Jack getting his ass handed to him by Bobby in a fight training session. Aw look at his cute lil sweats. Wait... what are those windows in the gym? They look look like they're streaked with rain. Isn't the whole bunker underground?

Also omg someone give that boy a face guard while he's sparring! He can't heal his cute little mug anymore!

Meanwhile in Detroit, Castiel is following up a lead at a BBQ joint called Motown Meats. And like I know "Motown" is also a nickname for the city and not just the name of a record label, but the country music playing in this joint is still annoying to me. Anyway some pink-cheeked fella who thinks burgundy brown shoes go with cornflower blue suits strides into the place all, "Castiel! Darling!" 

This fella, with his imperious little strut and vaguely Southern demeanor, simply demands I refer to him as Young Lindsey Graham. He orders sausage, brisket and "pork ribs, well done." What the fuck, Linds? All pork ribs are well done! If someone gives you underdone pork anything, you get right off your ass and call the health department!

"I didn't think you consorted with my kind," Linds says, revealing himself to be a demon and also someone who doesn't know his basic show history.

Castiel is loath to admit that he needs information. "Does any demon know where Dean Winchester is?" Young Lindsey is delighted and scandalized at the thought of Cas losing any Winchester, much less Dean. "I thought you two were joined at the... everything." He gets about as close to pointing/looking at Cas's dick as Mary got to pointing that gun at those people's heads.

Yes, I'm terrible at making gifs. Anyway, Linds goes, "What's in it for moi?" And Cas tells him, "Your life." So Linds is like, "Come again?" Honey, he ain't even come the first time yet, don't get ahead of yourself.

Castiel uses his graveliest voice on Young Lindsey, but to no avail. It turns out the whole place is full of demons. Wouldn't Cas have picked up on that? Is he that powerless? They all crowd around him and knock him to the floor.

A sign outside a church in Duluth welcomes "Sister Jo" and advertises its morning prayers at 8 in the morning. Does that seem ridiculously early to me just because I'm a heathen? Also it's clearly nighttime in this scene. Some parishioners thank Jo for saving their lives. It seems like she should be trying to fly under the radar, so to speak.

Oh now she's walking through a dark alley, counting her money. I'll give her a pass because she has angel powers, but people on this show are always being unwise in alleys. Michael approaches her. "You don't recognize me with this pretty face?" he asks. It's the hat! It! Is! The! Hat! He reveals his big seagull-lookin' wings.

Jo is naturally suspicious of Michael. "Why would Dean say yes to you when he turned you down like seven seasons ago?" she asks. "We needed a cliffhanger for the finale and he'd already been a demon," he says. I mean, that's not what they say but I'm sure they were thinking it.

He asks her what she wants, and she tries to be glib about it but he's not buying it. He says she wants love and a family and barfy stuff like that. He keeps asking people what they want and then just ends up telling them.

Back at the bunker, Sam has a chat with Jack.

"I know this must be so hard," Sam says, "without your grace, without your powers...It's a lot, I'm sure." I mean, Sam wasn't a nephilim but he used to be super juiced up on demon blood with telekinetic powers. If there were ever a time for Sam to bust out with "hey I went through a sort of similar thing," it'd be now. Mary interrupts this tender moment to say someone's awake. Way to talk-block, Mary.

Sam reluctantly leaves Jack to go see whoever this other person is. He opens the door as the soundtrack builds up tension. The camera finally swoops in and reveals...

NO.

NO! I REFUSE. I!!! REFUSE!!!! THERE IS NO WAY NICK'S CARCASS SHOULD STILL BE ALIVE. NONE. BEGONE YOU FOUL THING, BEGONE!!!

You know what this means, right? Either that whiny little baby Lucifer will come back somehow and need to possess him again, or when they inevitably get Dean back, Michael will use this empty toothpaste tube of a human as his vessel. OH FUCK HE'S TAKING HIS SHIRT OFF

Okay why does Sam need to be the one to clean his mostly healed wound? It's not like Nick's hands are broken. Nick has a big dramatic reaction. Calm the hell down, it's peroxide not alcohol. Then he just puts the same dirty old bandage back on. What. The. Fuck.

Sam is being very sympathetic, if rattled because this guy's got the same face as the fucker that tortured him for a hundred years. Nick doesn't remember much about what happened, but says Michael told Lucifer "he wanted to do things right this time." Sam goes outside to collect himself when his phone buzzes.

"Oh, hey, Cas," he answers. Young Lindsey Graham corrects him: "I'm the boy who's got your angel." Okay, when I said he was young, I meant compared to current day Lindsey Graham. He's clearly not a boy. He's also clearly not a very worthy foe.

The music goes "eeeeeEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" to build up tension, but fourth-tier demons are like basically gnats compared to the other baddies the Bunker Bunch have fought. It's kinda silly that Cas even got captured by these twerps.

But everyone is taking it very seriously and packing up their weapons to head to Detroit. Maybe the Other Dimension people haven't fought demons before? I can't remember. Sam assigns teams. "Maggie, you're with Bobby. Mom, you're with me." 

Jack wants to come, too, but Bobby protests that he's not ready for a demon fight. And Maggie is? That poor child seems perpetually on the verge of jumping out of her own skin. But Sam's like, "He needs this, Bobby." 

Back in Detroit, a bloodied Cas sits magically cuffed to a chair. "You sure I can't get you anything hot... and black?" Young Lindsey asks him in a needlessly suggestive manner. I mean, he's talking about coffee, not Grindr. Wtf, my dude? Castiel's face right now is so relatable.

We launch into a good old-fashioned Sit-n-Chat! Linds blah blahs about coffee and using Cas as bait, then reveals, without naming names, that Michael recently approached him like he did the other guest characters in this episode. He was asked what he wanted. "I realized after 600 years as a demon walking the planet...I didn't know." But now he's realized he wants everything. Start with some shoes that look better with your suit.

Meanwhile, Sam and Mary are driving through the perpetual rain. Seriously, how do y'all in Kansacouver deal with this much rain?? I live in Houston and we get a lot of rain, but in like... big groupings and not just constantly. Anyway, seeing that Sam is fretting, Mary says, "It's gonna be fine." Sam isn't convinced. "You don't know that!"

Now, normally this 900-mile trip would take about an hour, but Sam and Bobby didn't carpool so the Impala had to slow way down. Lol when Sam walks through the door at the barbecue place it looks like he's wearing the doorbell as a tiny hat.

Sam gets frisked to make sure he's not packing heat, then Young Lindsey waxes impressed about his shoulders and hair. He makes a "mm MM!" sound like he's just been presented a bowl of delicious bread puddin' and hot caramel sauce.

Here we are nearly at the end of the episode and we finally find out Young Lindsey Graham's name is actually Kipling. "Kip, for short," he says, offering his hand for a shake. Sam leaves him hanging. Also: lol "Kip." Kip's goons drag Jack and Maggie inside. Sam's nostrils flare in consternation as one of the demons punches Jack.

God this guy talks a lot. To sum up: Kip wants to be king of Hell and he wants the Winchesters to treat him like they did Crowley. You know, keep him around past his expiry date and then still somehow manage to make his death too abrupt.

When Sam turns him down, Kip has a bit of a tantrum. "In life, I rode with Genghis Khan!" he rails, mispronouncing it. He pouts and stomps some more, but Sam stays chill because he knows Mary and Bobby are about to bust in with guns blazing.

Slo-mo fisticuffs ensue! Kip throws Sam across the room with his powers. He's a higher level demon who could kill every human with a swoosh of his hand, but then the show would be over. Also, didn't the Bunker Bunch all have devil's trap bullets and stuff? These demons are taking a long time to die.

Kip somehow gets hold of the demon knife during the melee and takes one second long to admire how cool it is. This gives Sam enough time to switch things around and stab him with it. Kip dies as he lived: admiring Sam's shoulders.

Sam calls an end to the fight. "There will be no new King of Hell!" All the remaining demons vacate their meat suits. Who's going to run the barbecue restaurant now? Also, Castiel has been sitting, still cuffed, to that chair this whole time.

Back at the bunker, everyone is beat to hell. Cas and Sam have a rueful talk about what they just went through. Cas is embarrassed he went to the demons, but Sam says he'd work with anyone if it meant finding Dean.

In the kitchen, Mary and Bobby do a little Chekhov's flirting.

Cas goes to find Jack and try to cheer him up. "You did well," he says. "All I did was get punched in the face," Jack says. Don't sell yourself short, kid. You also got punched in the stomach.

Jack feels frustrated and useless without his powers. Cas tells him they have each other and they're family. Aww. I feel like Cas could also say he relates here. "I used to burn the eyes out of demons and destroy buildings with my voice!"

Sam gets a call from Jo. "We have a problem," she says. Is she working for Michael? Maybe!

Cut to a grungy abandoned warehouse, where Michael is currently having a chat with a monster of some kind. Maybe it's one of the vampires mentioned earlier in the episode. "Your want is pure," Michael says. Monsters are soooo much easier to deal with than people or angels! "You just wanna eat," Michael says as the monster shows off some fangs.

Incidentally, "You just wanna eat" also describes me at a brunch buffet.

So that's the end of the season premier! The FOURTEENTH season premier. Holy hell right?

If you'd like me to recap the next episodes, let me know. Thanks for reading!

And now’s the self-promo time when I add my Ko-Fi link! (ko-fi.com/A4017DA)

These are some very desperate times for me, so if you have a few bucks to spare and you enjoyed this fic, I would very much appreciate any donation. I know it looks like I’ve received quite a few donations recently but those larger ones were me “donating” to myself with credit cards to pay bills that had to be paid from my bank.

I'm afraid of not making rent this month, thanks to several clients just refusing to pay me for my work.

Or my Paypal address is btippi@gmail.com and if you send it as a gift I think no fees are deducted from my end.

[mrsbenedictbridgerton]

This Unspoken Thing 1/3

A baby mini fic.

Emma and Killian were kinda enemies. Now they are kinda friends, but there is this unspoken thing between them. A pull and a want that they haven't yet given a name to. And stubborn Emma Swan just wont admit it...

(Inspired by GoTG 2!)

AO3/FF.NET 

Emma Swan was in no way avoiding Killian Jones.

Someone had to go rustle up some food for the impromptu birthday party that had somehow came about. And that someone may as well have been her.

The fact that she could hide in the kitchen for as long as she could get away with was just a bonus.

Really.

“Need any help?”

Emma jumped just about a foot in the air at the sound of a softly accented voice, her head narrowly missing the upper edge of the refrigerator. “Dammnit Killian, some warning please.”

She looked back over her shoulder to see her friend’s teasing smile.

Friend.

Oh that was a weird word to say when concerning Jones.

Friends. Amigos. Buddies. Pals. All very strange words for someone who only a few months earlier was, what some may have called, her enemy.

“Sorry,” he shrugged softly, letting the door close behind him.

He looked tired; the shadows under his eyes speaking of the lateness of the hour that had seen them leave the bar last night and the number of rums they had both consumed while trying to outdo each other.

That was what they did. Always competing. Kind of unavoidable when you are rival bail bonds persons.

Who could drink the other under the table? Who could tell the most outrageous (yet true) work related tale? Who could choose simply the best obscure little restaurant that their motley group of friends would just love so much?

Her stomach squirmed a little as she thought of the bottle of rum that they kept in the liquor cabinet. She was definitely sticking to beer tonight.

“Sure,” she quipped - perhaps a little too high pitched - before making to turn back to her search for food.

(Hoping he would take the hint.)

“But Emma-”

“Hmm,” she murmured as she picked a block of cheese and a - hopefully fresh - jar of olives from the shelves.

“Can we talk?”

“Little busy here Jones,” she said, shoving the block of cheese under her chin so she could grab a tub of guacamole.

“It’s about yesterday. And that dance.”

Slowly, Emma pivoted on her heel. With the block of cheddar still wedged under her chin and both hands occupied, she tried her best to look in his direction, hampered by the restraints of anatomy and dairy products. The little palpitations that had faded with her hangover, began to return.

She’d kinda hoped he’d forgotten about that.

(Really hoped.)

He gave her an odd look, before reaching out and taking the cheese from her grasp, his fingers swiping against the skin of her neck as she whispered, “Thanks.”

And then came the awkward silence she’d been dreading. The skin he had touched tingling with electricity as his blue eyes studied her - the way they had a thousand times before - with a mixture of judgement and curiosity that she couldn’t quite deal with right now.

“So you danced with me.”

“And you danced with me,” she retorted with a small shrug,  trying to look as nonchalant as she could with tupperware and a half empty jar of olives in her arms.

The muscles in his jaw flickered - the way they always did when he was frustrated (though, damn, she hated that she knew that).

She knew him better than most.

He knew her better than most.

Fuck.

He cleared his throat and took a step closer. “Aye I did. After you accosted me on the dance floor.” He paused and then raised a brow, “Swan, your arms were like that of an octopus. I felt violated.”

His voice had a teasing edge, which made a smile flicker traitorously at her lips - but she knew he was reaching for an explanation as to just why she had - yes she admits it - got down and dirty with him on The Rabbit Hole’s dance floor.

It all flashed back.

Grinding her ass into his crotch. Her hands balling into the damp material of his shirt. The flush on his cheeks as she’d slung her arms around his neck. The practically indecent way she had plastered her body against his on the sweaty, packed dance floor.

Oh holy hell, what had she done?

(Oh GOD she hoped no one else had seen.)

She took a deep breath and nonchalantly popped out her hip, doing her best impression of someone totally confident and not feeling completely out of their depth. “Are you complaining?”

Then he did that thing he does where his eyes rake over her and make her feel all tingly and sexy and-

(No. No. No.)

“Never,” he replied, his voice noticeably lower, cutting right through her.

She needed to break the moment.

Emma took the chance to empty her arms of their contents and then open one of the cupboards above the work surface to find the large bowl she needed for the nachos. If she had thought that that would have sent Killian away, she was wrong. Instead he sidled up beside her and took the bag of chips she had already gotten ready and ripped them open.

“You still haven’t answered me,” he sang a few seconds later.

He was persistent, as always.

(It’s what made him so good at his job.)

She needed to end this conversation- or at the very least steer it away from his inevitable assumption-

(That she had a thing for him-)

Dampening her lip with her tongue, she let the first lie that appeared in her head fall from her lips. “I was trying to make Graham jealous.”

“Graham?” he spat, as if the name was the most disgusting thing ever to pass his lips. “Why the bloody hell would you want anything to do with that tosser?”

“Hey!” she cried, jabbing him in the ribs with her elbow and then tossing her hair over her shoulder. “He’s a good guy. Decent. Hardworking.”

(That much was true. Graham Humbert was decent and kind and good and- well, all the things she should want in a man. So they say.)

“Your brother’s partner,” Killian offered, folding his arms and observing her with a disbelieving eye.

She turned her head and gave him a sarcastic smile. “Gee, I never noticed.”

His expression changed as their eyes met - softened somehow, his smile shifting somewhat. Their eyes fixed for a long moment, until he looked away and began opening a bag of tortilla chips. “Well, I’m actually surprised you’re interested in him. I thought you went for the more… rugged, roguish type.”

“Oh, like you?” she replied, so quickly the words had left her mouth before she could stop herself.

He took a quick breath. “Yes, actually.”

Wordlessly he poured out the chips and then crumpled up the bag, the crackle of the plastic wrapper occupying the silence their voices had left behind. Emma picked up the jar, running her hand over the lid as she waited for him to say something else.

Anything else.

Because there was a wordless tension brewing between them, and not for the first time. She heard him sigh.

She looked across at him; he was rubbing his hand over his stubbled jaw.

“When are we going to do something about this?” he asked quietly.

His words turned her heartbeat into a steady thud in her chest and she sucked in a deep breath.

“About what?” she replied. Going for breezy but instead it came out all strained and awkward.

A torturous second stretched out as the two watched each other.

Then he took the container of olives she was trying to open, his large, strong hands opening it with a soft pop. He placed it back on the countertop and her arms fell limply to her sides. No barrier between them, not even a jar of pickled vegetables.

“This thing between us,” he said, eyes searching hers until she looked away, not wanting to go… there.

“There is nothing between us, Jones,” she insisted.

Killian rested his arm on the countertop, leaning in towards her. “Emma, there has been an unspoken thing between us for months now.”

Furrowing her brow, she looked him square in the eye. “It was just a dance, Killian. Don’t read anything into it. I was drunk. You were drunk.”

She backed away from him, folding her arms, creating another barrier between them.

“There is no thing here. Unspoken...or otherwise.”

He looked like he was going to say something, but then thought better of it. Instead, he simply shrugged and whispered.

“If you say so.”

And before she could say any more, he left the room.

A/N: The next part is pretty much written so I’ll get it up asap...

[lizzy-matthews]

Practice Challenge 2

Being a shapeshifter made Lara Duval’s life as easy as pie. She could travel the world and be anything or anyone she wanted to be. She used her shapeshifting abilities to help others and stop crimes wherever she could.

Lara’s only complaint was that she never had the chance to grow close to anyone. She’d never had a family; she’d been an orphan for as long as she could remember. She couldn’t make any long lasting friends, either, since she was moving around so much. She was also never the same person for too long of a period, so any friends she made would likely have a difficult time figuring out who she was or what she looked like at any given time.

But Lara didn’t care about any of that. Her dream was to see every inch of the world, and help as many people as she could along the way. She enjoyed the feeling of shapeshifting, too. She liked being able to wake up one day and decide that she wanted a different hair color, or maybe even try being a boy for a day. She loved the freedom of being able to change herself day in and day out, whenever she may choose.

  I let out a sigh as I set down the fancy pen. The first thing I’d done when they showed me to my new room in the palace was ask for a notebook and pen, since it hadn’t seemed like there were any lying about. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I couldn’t write the entire time I was here.

I wish I could be as comfortable about changing my appearance as my newest character, Lara Duval. Unfortunately, I’m not comfortable with it, and I feel incredibly awkward as I sit in a new dress with practically a new face on me, in a completely new place I never would’ve imagined I’d ever see. They’d certainly done a lot of work to change my appearance, though I think it was just for the cameras for the initial pictures.

Today was quite possibly the longest and craziest day of my life.

It started out with waking up to some palace officials speaking loudly to my parents in the kitchen of our home. I freaked out, because I hadn’t set any sort of alarm and nobody had woken me up. I quickly jumped out of bed, threw on the clothes the palace had sent for me to wear today, struggled to pin the symbolic white daisy of Clermont in my hair, and ran down the stairs.

“You’re late,” a strict-looking woman stated, glaring at me as I entered the kitchen.

My heart raced. “I’m so sorry. Nobody woke me up—”

The woman waved her hand as though she had no care for my excuses.

“Come, we must be off now. Clermont is waiting to say their goodbyes to you.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the house, my parents and the male palace official rushing to follow behind us.

I was led straight to a car, which drove us to a large city center with a raised stage set up. There were hundreds, if not thousands of people looking up at the stage and cheering. I was ushered up onto the stage, where the mayor of Clermont stood in front of a microphone, holding his hand out to me. I shook his hand nervously, and the mayor turned back to face the crowd.

“Ladies and Gentlemen of Clermont,” he announced in a loud, booming voice, “I present to you, Lady Elizabeth Matthews! Let us all wish her the best of luck in the Selection!” The crowd got impossibly louder as they cheered for me. I couldn’t believe all these people had come just to see me. I wasn’t anyone special; my name had simply been chosen randomly out of a pile.

I smiled and waved shyly as the mayor continued talking for a few more minutes. Then I was led once again off the stage and back over to a car. My family stood by the car, and I knew this was the time to say our goodbyes.

My mom immediately rushed over to me and pulled me in for a big hug. “We’re so proud of you, Lizzy. At least try to make some new friends while you’re there. Don’t spend all your time by yourself, writing.” I rolled my eyes as she pulled away. I’m not a total recluse; it’s not like I spend all my time by myself.

I turned to my father, who gave me a reluctant smile. I knew he was worried about me leaving, but he wasn’t going to show it. “Stay safe, Lizzy. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” I gave him a tight smile, then started to turn toward my brother, but before I could move very far, I was already enveloped in his arms.

“If this prince tries anything, you knee him just like I showed you,” Graham whispered in my ear.

I laughed as I pushed against him. “Relax, Graham. The prince seems like a nice guy.”

Graham shook his head. “Yeah, of course he seems like a nice guy. It’s not like the press are going to announce to the world that the next King of Illea is a horrible person.”

“I’ll be fine,” I tried to convince him.

“It’s time to go, we’re running late!” The female palace official gave a shrill cry next to me. I got the feeling that we weren’t actually running late, but just that she liked to be very early.

I turned back to my family just before getting in the car. “I love you guys.”

My mom gave a watery smile and leaned into my dad, who put his arm around her. Graham gave me a small wave, and then I pulled myself into the car.

I was then rushed to an airport, where I found four other girls waiting. Apparently, I was the last to arrive. We were quickly ushered onto an airplane and soon, we were in the air.

Flying was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. We were above the clouds, and it felt like a whole new world. I don’t even think I could accurately put the feeling of flying to words. It felt like we could be going anywhere in the world, or possibly some other world. After the initial takeoff, and after we’d been in the plane for about a half hour, I turned to face the other girls, who had been completely silent up until then.

“Um, hi. I’m Lizzy Matthews, what are your names?” I asked, trying to start a conversation, even though talking to other people isn’t always a strong suit of mine.

“I’m Britain Mason,” the girl with light brown hair next to me answered.

“Hello! I’m Madeline, nice to meet you!” The dark-haired girl across from me said.

“Hey, I’m Berkeley,” the girl with red-brown hair continued.

“I’m Aria Turner,” came a small voice from further back in the plane. Aria was sitting farther away from us, and it didn’t really look like she wanted to talk, though I couldn’t tell whether it was timidity or arrogance that led her to not join us.

“What provinces are you from? I’m from Clermont,” I continued, hoping this was sounding less like an interview than I thought it did.

“Kent,” Britain replied curtly.

“I am from Midston,” Madeline answered.

“I’m from Allens, which is pretty far north from Clermont, I think,” Berkeley commented.

I tried to picture a map of where Allens was in my head, then gave a little laugh. “Yeah, kind of. I bet it gets cold there.” Then I started thinking about what cold weather implies. “Ooh! Do you get snow?” I asked excitedly. I’d never seen snow, but I always pictured it being beautiful. A lot of stories I write take place in areas where it snows, but I have to describe it all from imagination, since I can’t speak from experience.

“I would love to see snow,” Madeline commented. “Thanks to the climate in Midston I have never seen it.”

“Yeah. We get snow at least once a year.”

I was amazed at the way Berkeley just shrugged off the concept of snow. I couldn’t imagine it being boring or tiresome, but perhaps if you experienced it so often, it may become not as interesting.

We all then started talking about our hobbies. I talked about my writing, which Madeline seemed impressed with, but Berkeley kind of shrugged off. I hoped she just wanted to move on to other topics, and wasn’t necessarily trying to be rude about it. Not everyone is going to be as interested in my writing as I am, I guess. Madeline talked about how she likes to cook, which is great because I like baking sometimes. It was nice to have some sort of connection with one of these girls. We could be living together for a while, after all.

“Are you all nervous for the Selection?” Berkeley asked after a while.

I thought about if for a moment before answering. “I’m a little nervous, but I’m excited for the adventure of it all.” And that is true. I’m excited to get to see another world, another type of life than what I’ve always known. It will certainly give me a lot of material to work with for some new stories.

“Yeah, I’m so nervous!” Madeline squealed. “I haven’t slept a full night since my name was drawn.”

“I think the experience will be interesting, for sure,” Britain commented.

“Honestly, I’m just so excited about the dresses,” Berkeley laughed.

We spent the rest of the plane ride talking about everything we’re excited for about the Selection. We also talked about Prince Haiden a little bit, especially about how nobody really knows what he’s like when he’s not on camera. The girls’ comments made me think about Graham’s worries, and I suddenly thought that maybe I’d made a mistake signing up for the Selection. Maybe the prince really is a horrible person, and now I was just throwing myself at him, along with 34 other girls.

I was brought out of my thoughts when the pilot announced that we were landing. What was done was done, and there was no use regretting anything now. I would be a part of the Selection, and perhaps the prince really would be a nice guy. Maybe I really would fall in love with him. It all remained to be seen.

I looked out the window as the plane descended, and was once again amazed by the sight. Angeles was beautiful from above, all twinkling lights. It was strange that the sun was still out, since I knew it would’ve been dark in Clermont, but I remembered that there was a three hour time difference between Clermont and Angeles. Hopefully that won’t take too long to get used to.

When we disembarked from the plane, there were crowds of people waiting for us, cheering and waving and holding signs. I smiled at them and started waving after my initial fright. I was amazed to see so many signs with my name on them, though there were many more with other girls’ names. I tried to wave at every person with a Lizzy sign, but it was hard to keep track of it all when we were being ushered over to a large black car.

The car drove us through all the crowds and all the way to the palace.

My initial thought when I first saw the palace was that it was breathtaking. It was so huge, and I couldn’t believe one family lived in there. Of course, there were many rooms for servants and guests, but essentially it was meant solely for the royal family. I couldn’t imagine that anyone had seen every inch of the place.

We hardly had time to breathe once we left the car. We were immediately brought into the palace and into a room full of bustling maids and stylists and girls. There were so many dresses lining the walls that I thought there might very well be one for every day of the year.

A woman grabbed my arm and pulled me over to a chair in front of a large mirror.

“Elizabeth Matthews, correct?” She asked, tapping on a clipboard she was holding.

“Lizzy,” I corrected.

The woman nodded, then set down her clipboard, turning to look at me in the mirror. “Hmm…” she sighed, inspecting my face carefully. “There’s a lot of potential here. Alright. Girls!” She called out, and two maids rushed over to us. They all then began working on my hair and applying copious amounts of makeup to my face. It seemed to take forever before they turned my chair to have me face the mirror.

I hardly recognized myself. My hair had been darkened to a slightly deeper red, though I’m pretty sure it’s temporary. They applied a lot of dark makeup to my eyes, making me look older and more sophisticated. I sighed. Hopefully that was only a one time thing, and I’ll be able to look at least a little more like myself for the rest of the Selection.

I was then dressed in a beautiful black dress before being put in a line for a small photoshoot. The photographer pulled over one girl at a time, snapped a few pictures, and pushed her away before grabbing the next girl. As soon as the girls were done, they were led out of the room, presumably up to their own rooms.

My little photoshoot came and went before I hardly even noticed. I just hope I actually looked okay in my pictures, since I barely even registered that they were being taken.

Then I had been led up to my bedroom, where three maids were waiting. Lily, Hanna, and Rose, as they introduced themselves. I quickly told them I just wanted to be by myself, but to bring me a pen and notebook if they could.

So here I am now, staring at my notebook with barely any words written on the page. How can I write about a shapeshifter, when I am so far despising this shift in my own appearance?

Well, aside from the makeover, the rest of the experience so far has been amazing. Although the entire day was rushed, the palace is absolutely beautiful, and my own room is amazing. The palace staff seem nice, though it was sometimes difficult to see that when they were busy rushing me about.

Now that I have time to myself to be peaceful, I’m glad that I’m here. It may take some getting used to, but I think this whole experience will be an adventure, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me next.

[hackersandslackers]

A Dirty Way of Cleaning Data (ft. Pandas & SQL)

Code Snippet Corner ft. Pandas & SQL

Warning The following is FANTASTICALLY not-secure. Do not put this in a script that's going to be running unsupervised. This is for interactive sessions where you're prototyping the data cleaning methods that you're going to use, and/or just manually entering stuff. Especially if there's any chance there could be something malicious hiding in the data to be uploaded. We're going to be executing formatted strings of SQL unsanitized code. Also, this will lead to LOTS of silent failures, which are arguably The Worst Thing - if guaranteed correctness is a requirement, leave this for the tinkering table. Alternatively, if it's a project where "getting something in there is better than nothing", this can provide a lot of bang for your buck. Actually, it's purely for entertainment purposes and not for human consumption. Let's say you were helping someone take a bunch of scattered Excel files and CSVs and input them all into a MySQL database. This is a very iterative, trial & error process. We certainly don't want to be re-entering a bunch of boilerplate. Pandas to the rescue! We can painlessly load those files into a DataFrame, then just export them to the db! Well, not so fast First off, loading stuff into a DB is a task all its own - Pandas and your RDBMS have different kinds of tolerance for mistakes, and differ in often-unpredictable ways. For example, one time I was performing a task similar to the one described here (taking scattered files and loading them into a DB) - I was speeding along nicely, but then ran into a speedbump: turns out Pandas generally doesn't infer that a column is a date unless you tell it specifically, and will generally parse dates as strings. Now, this was fine when the dates were present - MySQL is pretty smart about accepting different forms of dates & times. But one thing it doesn't like is accepting an empty string '' into a date or time column. Not a huge deal, just had to cast the column as a date: df['date'] = pd.to_datetime(df['date']) Now the blank strings are NaT , which MySQL knows how to handle! This was simple enough, but there's all kinds of little hiccups that can happen. And, unfortunately, writing a DataFrame to a DB table is an all-or-nothing affair - if there's one error, that means none of the rows will write. Which can get pretty annoying if you were trying to write a decent-sized DataFrame, especially if the first error doesn't show up until one of the later rows. Waiting sucks. And it's not just about being impatient - long waiting times can disrupt your flow. Rapid prototyping & highly-interactive development are some of Python's greatest strengths, and they are great strengths indeed! Paul Graham (one of the guys behind Y Combinator) once made the comparison between REPL-heavy development and the popularizing of oil paints (he was talking about LISP, but it's also quite true of Python, as Python took a lot of its cues from LISP): Before oil paint became popular, painters used a medium, called tempera , that cannot be blended or overpainted. The cost of mistakes was high, and this tended to make painters conservative. Then came oil paint, and with it a great change in style. Oil "allows for second thoughts". This proved a decisive advantage in dealing with difficult subjects like the human figure. The new medium did not just make painters' lives easier. It made possible a new and more ambitious kind of painting. Janson writes: Without oil, the Flemish Masters'conquest of visible reality would have been much more limited. Thus, from a technical point of view, too, they deserve to be called the "fathers of modern painting" , for oil has been the painter's basic medium ever since. As a material, tempera is no lesss beautiful than oil. But the flexibility of oil paint gives greater scope to the imagination--that was the deciding factor. Programming is now undergoing a similar change...Meanwhile, ideas borrowd from Lisp increasingly turn up in the mainstream: interactive programming environments, garbage collectgion, and run-time typing to name a few. More powerful tools are taking the risk out of exploration. That's good news for programmers, because it means that we will be able to undertake more ambitious projects. The use of oil paint certainly had this effect. The period immediately following its adoption was a golden age for painting. There are signs already that something similar is happening in programming. (Emphasis mine) From here: http://www.cs.oswego.edu/~blue/xhx/books/ai/ns1/section02/main.html A little scenario to demonstrate: Let's pretend we have a MySQL instance running, and have already created a database named items import pymysql from sqlalchemy import create_engine import sqlalchemy import pandas as pd cnx = create_engine('mysql+pymysql://analyst:badsecuritykills@localhost:3306/items) pd.io.sql.execute("""CREATE TABLE books( \ id VARCHAR(40) PRIMARY KEY NOT NULL \ ,author VARCHAR(255) \ ,copies INT)""", cnx) df = pd.DataFrame({ "author": ["Alice", "Bob", "Charlie"], "copies": [2, "", 7, ],}, index = [1, 2, 3]) #Notice that one of these has the wrong data type! df.to_sql(name='books',con=cnx,if_exists='append',index=False) #Yeah, I'm not listing this whole stacktrace. Fantastic package with some extremely helpful Exceptions, but you've gotta scroll a whole bunch to find em. Here's the important part: InternalError: (pymysql.err.InternalError) (1366, "Incorrect integer value: '' for column 'copies' at row 1") [SQL: 'INSERT INTO books (id, author, copies) VALUES (%(id)s, %(author)s, %(copies)s)'] [parameters: {'id': 2, 'author': 'Bob', 'copies': ''}] (Background on this error at: http://sqlalche.me/e/2j85) Soo, let's tighten this feedback loop, shall we? We'll iterate through the DataFrame with the useful iterrows() method. This gives us essentially an enum made from our DataFrame - we'll get a bunch of tuples giving us the index as the first element and the row as its own Pandas Series as the second. for x in df.iterrows(): try: pd.DataFrame(x[1]).transpose().to_sql(name='books', con=cnx, if_exists='append', index_label='id') except: continue Let's unpack that a bit. Remember that we're getting a two-element tuple, with the good stuff in the second element, so x[1] Next, we convert the Series to a one-entry DataFrame, because the Series doesn't have the DataFrame's to_sql() method. pd.DataFrame(x[1]) The default behavior will assume this is a single column with, each variable being the address of a different row. MySQL isn't going to be having it. Sooo, we transpose! pd.DataFrame(x[1]).transpose() And finally, we use our beloved to_sql method on that. Let's check our table now! pd.io.sql.read_sql_table("books", cnx, index_col='id') author copies id 1 Alice 2 It wrote the first row! Not much of a difference with this toy example, but once you were writing a few thousand rows and the error didn't pop up until the 3000th, this would make a pretty noticeable difference in your ability to quickly experiment with different cleaning schemes. Note that this will still short-circuit as soon as we hit the error. If we wanted to make sure we got all the valid input before working on our tough cases, we could make a little try/except block. for x in df.iterrows(): try: pd.DataFrame(x[1]).transpose().to_sql(name='books', con=cnx, if_exists='append', index=False,) except: continue This will try to write each line, and if it encounters an Exception it'll continue the loop. pd.io.sql.read_sql_table("books", cnx, index_col='id') author copies id 1 Alice 2 3 Charlie 7 Alright, now the bulk of our data's in the db! Whatever else happens, you've done that much! Now you can relax a bit, which is useful for stimulating the creativity you'll need for the more complicated edge cases. So, we're ready to start testing new cleaning schemes? Well, not quite yet... Let's say we went and tried to think up a fix. We go to test it out and... #Note that we want to see our exceptions here, so either do without the the try/except block for x in df.iterrows(): pd.DataFrame(x[1]).transpose().to_sql(name='books', con=cnx, if_exists='append', index=False, ) #OR have it print the exception for x in df.iterrows(): try: pd.DataFrame(x[1]).transpose().to_sql(name='books', con=cnx, if_exists='append', index_label='id') except Exception as e: print(e) continue #Either way, we get... (pymysql.err.IntegrityError) (1062, "Duplicate entry '1' for key 'PRIMARY'") [SQL: 'INSERT INTO books (id, author, copies) VALUES (%(id)s, %(author)s, %(copies)s)'] [parameters: {'id': 1, 'author': 'Alice', 'copies': 2}] (Background on this error at: http://sqlalche.me/e/gkpj) (pymysql.err.InternalError) (1366, "Incorrect integer value: '' for column 'copies' at row 1") [SQL: 'INSERT INTO books (id, author, copies) VALUES (%(id)s, %(author)s, %(copies)s)'] [parameters: {'id': 2, 'author': 'Bob', 'copies': ''}] (Background on this error at: http://sqlalche.me/e/2j85) (pymysql.err.IntegrityError) (1062, "Duplicate entry '3' for key 'PRIMARY'") [SQL: 'INSERT INTO books (id, author, copies) VALUES (%(id)s, %(author)s, %(copies)s)'] [parameters: {'id': 3, 'author': 'Charlie', 'copies': 7}] (Background on this error at: http://sqlalche.me/e/gkpj) The error we're interested is in there, but what's all this other nonsense crowding it? Well, one of the handy things about a database is that it'll enforce uniqueness based on the constraints you give it. It's already got an entry with an id value of 1, so it's going to complain if you try to put another one. In addition to providing a lot of distraction, this'll also slow us down considerably - after all, part of the point was to make our experiments with data-cleaning go faster! Luckily, Pandas' wonderful logical indexing will make it a snap to ensure that we only bother with entries that aren't in the database yet. #First, let's get the indices that are in there usedIDs = pd.read_sql_table("books", cnx, columns=["id"])["id"].values df[~df.index.isin(usedIDs)] author copies 2 Bob #Remember how the logical indexing works: We want every element of the dataframe where the index ISN'T in our array of IDs that are already in the DB This will also be shockingly quick - Pandas' logical indexing takes advantage of all that magic going on under the hood. Using it, instead of manually iteration, can literally bring you from waiting minutes to waiting seconds. Buuut, that's a lot of stuff to type! We're going to be doing this A LOT, so how about we just turn it into a function? #Ideally we'd make a much more modular version, but for this toy example we'll be messy and hardcode some paramaters def filterDFNotInDB(df): usedIDs = pd.read_sql_table("books", cnx, columns=["id"])["id"].values return df[~df.index.isin(usedIDs)] So, next time we think we've made some progress on an edge case, we just call... #Going back to the to_sql method here - we don't want to have to loop through every single failing case, or get spammed with every variety of error message the thing can throw at us. filterDFNotInDB(cleanedDF).to_sql(name='books', con=cnx, if_exists='append', index_label='id') Actually, let's clean that up even more - the more keys we hit, the more opportunities to make a mistake! The most bug-free code is the code you don't write. def writeNewRows(df): filterDFNotInDB(df).to_sql(name='books', con=cnx, if_exists='append', index_label='id') So, finally, we can work on our new cleaning scheme, and whenever we think we're done... writeNewRows(cleanedDF) And boom! Instant feedback!

- Matthew Alhonte

[johnchiarello]

Kings 20

KINGS 20

1Kings 20:11 And the king of Israel answered and said, Tell him, Let not him that girdeth on his harness boast himself as he that putteth it off.

Kings 20

https://youtu.be/Q9kMTGZGbAg

https://vimeo.com/257884994

 [Testing new sites- these should be Kings 20]  https://app.box.com/s/fct96frdngbzxykeb7wy7j5y2sc4lz8z

https://ccoutreach87.wistia.com/medias/k5zi5euhsg

ON VIDEO

.A ripped bible page

.Billy Graham

.Ahab- a profile

.The wicked as God’s sword

.Benhadad’s mistake

.The unknown prophet

.The army of 7 thousand- were they the remnant?

.The 2 witnesses

.Ahab and the young men route the enemy

.Then it’s time to regroup

.The God of the hills only?

.The wounded prophet- a sign

.In the house of my friends

.Leadership principles

 OTHER VIDEOS

2-26-18 One https://youtu.be/a0dxi27SeD8

2-25-18 Update https://youtu.be/8VhbTy6MgT8

Pops https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YJJ5oYrVxye7HWuncOxgFLLh5UnVfJu2/view?usp=sharing

Bobby n Shakky https://vimeo.com/257217038

Galatians 5 https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMejbeju1g4BLexRc

Fatima [North Bergen] 2nd mile https://youtu.be/YcfnxpqOOo4

Hebrews 10 https://vimeo.com/257308593

Samuel  17 https://vimeo.com/257418316

Acts 2 https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMe74Uzp8M7zlLwek

Questions your afraid to ask https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XFFuL2hLYe8dKjc1wPXXnTLBbOu-PXbK/view?usp=sharing

2nd Samuel 21 [NYC view] https://youtu.be/ahBwNwiQ1s0

Isaiah 53 https://vimeo.com/257600595

Mountains [C.U.- Mass] https://vimeo.com/257807735

Protestant problem https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FG5O2zRg4FRGAXwQzh7uAmVI9aY9Ga0c/view?usp=sharing

Acts 2 https://1drv.ms/v/s!Aocp2PkNEAGMe74Uzp8M7zlLwek

Amos 5:9

That strengtheneth the spoiled against the strong, so that the spoiled shall come against the fortress.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 NEW

As this stage in the story of Ahab- we see a wicked king who was being manipulated by his wife- the famous Jezebel.

We saw the showdown where God used his prophet to bring judgment against Israel- and we see in Ahab somewhat of a broken man.

 Yet- the enemies of Israel make a mistake.

Benhadad the king of Syria forms an ungodly alliance- he then comes against Ahab.

Ahab seems to concede- and give up.

 Then the Syrian king makes a mistake- he figures Ahab gave in so easily- he would push the limits.

Then God does something- he uses the young men in Israel to route the enemy.

Yes- even though God’s people were under judgment- and God used pagan nations to judge his own people- yet God also will defend his name.

 Though Israel is under judgment- yet- they had a history with God.

They were a mighty army in days gone by- and other nations learned this lesson the hard way.

After the initial defeat of the Syrians- God tells Ahab to regroup- because he will be back.

 Yes- in life- there will be times of great victory against great odds- and yet the battle is not over yet.

The Syrians will come back and fight again- and will suffer another great defeat.

There is an unknown prophet in this chapter who will carry out a special work- he will have one of his own brothers wound him- and he will disguise himself and bring a message to Ahab.

 I used this [on video] as a type of Christ- who was wounded by his own friends- and they did not recognize him at his first appearing to Israel.

Yet- like the prophet in this chapter- the ‘mask’ will be removed one day- and Israel will see the prophet who was wounded by his friends-

 Zechariah 13:6

And one shall say unto him, What are these wounds in thine hands? Then he shall answer, Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.

 I will add my past teaching below- but the practical principle for us is if we depend on God as we did at the start- then God will indeed come thru for us.

God takes delight in delivering his people when they are outnumbered- this is a spiritual principle in scripture-

 Joshua 23:10

One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the Lord your God, he it is that fighteth for you, as he hath promised you.

 He receives glory when just a few of his people can carry out the task against great odds.

Yes- Ahab will still come under judgment from God- he will go down in history as a wicked king.

 But this day the enemies of God learned a lesson-

It was actually a proverb in the mouth of Ahab himself-

1Kings 20:11 And the king of Israel answered and said, Tell him, Let not him that girdeth on his harness boast himself as he that putteth it off.

 Basically he told the Syrian king ‘Don’t count your chickens before they hatch’-

Benhadad learned this lesson the hard way.

Isaiah 54:16 [More verses below]

Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

 PAST POSTS [Past teaching I did that relates to this post- Kings 20]

KINGS-

https://ccoutreach87.com/mark-links/

https://ccoutreach87.com/1st-2nd-kings/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/03/29/kings-2/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/04/12/kings-3/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/04/27/kings-4/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/05/04/kings-5/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/05/25/kings-6/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/06/17/kings-7/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/07/05/kings-8/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/07/18/kings-9/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/08/01/kings-10/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/08/22/kings-11/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/09/15/kings-12-3/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/10/19/kings-13-2/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/11/09/kings-14/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/12/06/kings-15/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2017/12/28/kings-16/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2018/01/17/kings-17/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2018/02/01/kings-18/

https://ccoutreach87.com/2018/02/15/kings-19/

(1071)1ST KINGS 20- Benhadad, king of Syria, besieges Israel and threatens Ahab ‘give me your gold, wives and kids’. Ahab was a demoralized man, his wife was already running the show, he relinquished any remnant of nobility years ago. He responds ‘sure, take it all. What do I care?’ So all goes well, Not! Benhadad says ‘one more thing, tomorrow my men will come and inspect your stuff, if they see anything else of value, they taking that too!’ So Ahab consults with his men, he tells them the situation and they decide to reject the final offer. The fight is on. Notice how the Lord sends Ahab true prophets who give him guidance along the way, it’s like the Lord was willing to allow Ahab some time to get things right. The false prophets are dead, Elijah rebuilt the altar, who knows, maybe God was giving Ahab a real chance at reform. So Ahab does okay, he has a few battles with Syria, and at the end he LETS THE WICKED ENEMY GO! God rebukes him for this thru a prophet. God basically says ‘look, I gave you a second chance. I had a task for you, your job was to recognize and eliminate the threats to my people’ what happened? I have noticed thru the years that leaders, good men, will often fall into mindsets that say ‘well, after all our goal is to succeed and be happy. Have good church attendance, good income. Why even bother dealing with stuff that’s wrong?’ There are times in church history where God is looking for reformers, men and women who are willing to take a stand and say ‘enough, this stuff has be going on for too long, we will have no more of it’ [doctrines and stuff that lead Gods people astray]. It seems as if Ahab was living for the day, willing to let the wicked king live another day. After all, what harm can it do? He disobeyed God, he was given a mandate to execute justice, he didn’t. God chose him to complete the task, not just survive. Ahab blew it big time.

[parts]

Mark 2 [North Bergen]

POSTED BY CCOUTREACH87 ⋅ MARCH 2, 2017 ⋅ LEAVE A COMMENT

WEDNESDAY 3-1-17 Revelation 5:9 And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation; Revelation 5:10 And hast made us unto our God kings and priests: and we shall reign on the earth. https://youtu.be/_SRevM8Tcs4 MARK 2 https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2017/03/3-1-17-mark-2-north-bergen.zip https://youtu.be/4S5YHb2hea8 BURGER KING [Glenn] https://youtu.be/mij6WkuCllE MONKEY WITH 3 TAILS [Rick] ON VIDEO [Mark 2]- .91st. st. to park [Fairview- North Bergen] .Who can forgive sins but God? .Man healed .Why was Jesus with sinners? .Culture shock .New Wine [and skins] .Don’t pick the corn .Don’t you remember what David did? .The Sabbath was made for man- not the other way around .David and his men a type of Jesus and his men NEW- I taught on the first video [Mark 2] and spent a few hours with some of my friends. Glenn is homeless- and we have had some good talks. I share a little of his story on the short videos. On the teaching video I’ll try and add my past teaching on this chapter. I haven’t done a commentary on Mark’s gospel- and when I get back to Texas I might pick up on where I left off and make a complete study out of it. When I left the guys I thought of possibly doing a NYC video at midnight type of a thing- I’ve done those before- and you can see how the streets are always crowded in the ‘city that never sleeps’. But I’ll put that off for now. On today’s post/video I walked past the spot where I made some of my first teaching videos- in 2014- below are those videos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSwvNQlFyuY [North Bergen- 2014] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SxYy2p1OX4 [North Bergen- 2014] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4VF0gOYw_k [North Bergen- 2015] PAST TEACHING- [verses below] Jesus talks about the story of king David found in Samuel- I taught that chapter before- 1st Samuel 21- here’s the link to my study [below I’ll paste the text to my commentary on the chapter] https://ccoutreach87.com/1st-2nd-samuel/ I mentioned these bible books on today’s video [Mark 2]- here are my studies on them- https://ccoutreach87.com/john-complete-links-added/ https://ccoutreach87.com/james-2015/ (905)SAMUEL 21- David is fleeing from Saul and he goes to the priest at Nob. The priest wonders what’s up. David tells him he is on a special assignment from the king and he and his men need food. The priest tells him the only food available is the consecrated bread that is only for God and the priesthood. David convinces the priest to let them eat and David asks ‘do you have any weapons here’. The priest says ‘I have the sword you used to kill the giant’ David says ‘great, that will work just fine’. Jesus used this story to describe himself and the disciples [Mark 2]. One day Jesus and the disciples were going thru the grain fields and the disciples picked the grain and ate it on the Sabbath. The Pharisees said ‘your disciples are breaking Gods law by picking it on the Sabbath’. Now, to be honest they were breaking the over extended ideas that the religious Pharisees came up with thru their legalism. But Jesus still used this example as a defense. He says ‘have you not read what David and his men did? They ate the ceremonial showbread that was not lawful, only the priests could eat it’. David and his men are a symbol of Jesus and his men. While it is true that the bread was only lawful for the priests, David is a king/priest who gets away with doing ‘priestly things’ because of his picture of Christ. Scripture says he put on an ephod [priestly garment] which only priests could do. David functioned before the open Ark in Jerusalem. He did things that other kings were punished for [Saul, Uzziah]. Jesus in essence was saying to the Pharisees ‘I am the new priest/king from which all future law and worship will be measured by. Me and my followers are not under the law, the law serves us’! In Christ we are free from the guilt of the law, we live above legalism and follow the master. David and his men were acting like priests and kings contrary to the economy of their day. David was a type of Jesus whose future priestly ministry would ‘out trump’ the law. [parts] https://youtu.be/psCMQgX_7v4 Samuel 21 https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/10-6-16-samuel-21.zip ON VIDEO- [Yes- I ‘Backslid’. I promised no more political stuff- but for the first 20 minutes of the video- I get into it. The last 10 minutes I do teach- and have some new notes below on that. I made this video a few days ago- before the latest ‘controversies’- the Hillary WikiLeaks and the Trump video. It really makes no difference- I’m simply dealing with media bias. Trying to show how the media decides what to focus on. Yet- the real important issues of our time are put on the back burner- and we do politics like a sport]. .Debates .Media bias .Clinton Foundation .Why no taxes? .Clintons health is a real issue .Why is she off the trail? .How did the Clintons get rich? .What about the server? .Why did CNN fire the doctor? .Google even manipulated the search results .Russia .Abortion .The sword came back NEW- David is on the run from King Saul. He shows up at the house of God and asks the priest for food. The priest is nervous- David is alone [not a full military back up] and something just doesn’t seem right. David assures the priest ‘look- I’m on a special mission for the king- it’s so secret I left quickly- didn’t even have time to take food or weapons’. Wow- this must be some mission? How about some lie. Yes- David is good at lots of stuff- and he lied great here. So- the priest gives David and his few men the Holy bread- which is only for the priests. Now- David is not from the priestly tribe- Levi- but from Judah. Ok- David takes the food and asks ‘do you have any weapons’? The priest says ‘only the sword- I mean it’s wrapped up in the back- we treat the thing like it’s holy’. Yes- the sword David used to cut the giants head off. I think David must have felt a little remorse here. The whole nation had that sword as a memento of David’s great victory over Goliath. He used the sword only one time- the day he cut the giants head off. After all- it was the giant’s sword. Now- he’s on the run from Saul- already made up some great lies- and the priest gives him the weapon he used in the past. When he trusted in the living God- against all odds- and was a righteous warrior. David takes the sword- goes to the Philistines- Huh? Yes- he flees to the enemy camp- and the king of Gath says ‘why did you bring this guy to me- isn’t he David the great warrior who killed us in the past’. Now- David seems to have been trying to get a job- you know- as a mercenary. He couldn’t fight for Saul-and that’s his greatest paying skill. But when the philistines recognize him- Well- what do you think David did? Maybe yelled out ‘yes- I’m the one who took the giants head off- and I still come to you in the name of the living God- and…’ Yeah- did he do that John? Well actually not. Instead- he started drooling at the mouth- and scribbling on the doors- you know- like he was nuts. ‘John- you shouldn’t joke about stuff like that’. I’m not! Go read it [below]. Yes- the great man after ‘God’s own heart’ was so afraid- he pretended he was nuts- and yes- the scheme worked- The king says ‘this guy’s not David- that great man of honor- he’s a nut’! Ahh- we see what fear can do to a man- even a great man. Yes- David is in a tough spot- His own king- Saul- is out to get him. His only option was to go work for the enemy- At least that’s what he thought. And then he not only acted like a nut- He lied to the priest too. He ate the bread that Jesus himself said was only for the priests 25 And he said unto them, Have ye never read what David did, when he had need, and was an hungred, he, and they that were with him? 26 How he went into the house of God in the days of Abiathar the high priest, and did eat the shewbread, which is not lawful to eat but for the priests, and gave also to them which were with him? Jesus.

And he schemed his way into a corner. Does anything good come out of this at all? Yes- Jesus used this story- when defending himself and his disciples when they were accused of violating the law. 23 And it came to pass, that he went through the corn fields on the sabbath day; and his disciples began, as they went, to pluck the ears of corn. 24 And the Pharisees said unto him, Behold, why do they on the sabbath day that which is not lawful? 25 And he said unto them, Have ye never read what David did, when he had need, and was an hungred, he, and they that were with him? 26 How he went into the house of God in the days of Abiathar the high priest, and did eat the shewbread, which is not lawful to eat but for the priests, and gave also to them which were with him? 27 And he said unto them, The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath: 28 Therefore the Son of man is Lord also of the sabbath.

And Jesus- who too was from the tribe of Judah- Superseded the Old Covenant law- He never broke it- but he ushered in a better covenant. By so much was Jesus made a surety of a better testament. But now hath he obtained a more excellent ministry, by how much also he is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises. Hebrews So David- on his bad day- actually glorified Jesus on his good day. And even in his failure- gave Jesus one of the greatest stories he could use to show his superiority over the Levitical priests. Yes- that Jesus and his men- just like David and his- did indeed have the right to do what they did. Because they were from a better tribe- The one that our Lord ‘sprang from’. For it is evident that our Lord sprang out of Juda; of which tribe Moses spake nothing concerning priesthood. Heb. 7:14 Amen. [this is a chapter from one of my little books- talked about wineskins] CHAPTER 8

ARE CHURCH BUILDINGS EVIL? [OR THE GUY WHO WANTED TO CAST DEMONS OUT OF ME!]

Many years ago before I really understood the truths of ecclesia and the communal aspect of the church, I was introduced to the belief that the ‘church building’ itself was wrong. I don’t personally adhere to this belief, but let me share the story. While ministering as a new believer in Christ and learning ‘the ropes’ of ministry, I remember driving past a brother who was a street minister from Mexico. It was unusual in the way he was conducting his street meetings. He would get permission to use an empty lot and then set up actual church pews in the lot without walls or any type of cover over it [even if it rained!]. Well one day on my daily rounds of visiting people and witnessing for Jesus [because this is what ministers are supposed to do, right?] I stopped by this brother’s lot and figured I would bless him with some lunch and listen to him preach [I felt sorry for the brother because no one else was attending his meetings]. After he spoke I had a chance to fellowship with him. After hearing his thoughts I realized it was on purpose for him to have no walls or cover over the pews [these were actual church pews that were out there in the open!].

He shared with me the verse in Hebrews [13:10] where it says that those who worship at the sanctuary have no right to partake of the altar of Christ [the cross]. He saw this as meaning that all Christians who meet in buildings [the sanctuary] were lost! Well, even as a young believer in the lord I was smart enough to know that this verse had nothing to do with ‘church buildings’. I showed the brother that in context the verse simply meant that those Jews [remember who the book of Hebrews was written to] who were not willing to leave the old covenant system [the sanctuary] could not move on with the new covenant truth of Christ and his cross. The sanctuary represented the whole concept of law and Judaism. This verse had nothing to do about the inherent nature of church buildings! Buildings themselves are neutral ground; it’s the style of one person functioning [the pastor] at the expense of the rest of the body that I see as less than ideal.

Well after seeing the obvious error of the way this brother was reading this verse, I began to ‘expound unto him the way of God more perfectly’. When he finally understood what I was saying [you could tell by the look in his eyes that he saw the truth] instead of repenting of his distorted view, he became irate and began to cast demons out of me [hey, I didn’t think there were any in me!]. The reason I share this example is because there are those in the house church movement, while not as extreme, seem to view the church building itself as an evil thing.

My personal view is the church building can become a hindrance when we view it as part of a system that makes up ‘church’. We seem to see the whole concept of the church building and the pastor as the weekly speaker and all the other things associated around this structure [like tithing to the storehouse] as ‘the system’ that God instituted to carry out his work in the earth. Remember Gods inherent authority resides in no human system or mode of religious worship. His authority resides in the church, the actual people of God in any given community on earth. So if there are believers carrying out Gods purpose, whether they have the whole system that we deem ‘local church’ or not, is irrelevant. Remember what we said about Jesus and the 1st century religious mind? They were finding fault with Jesus and his disciples because they were not following the religious protocol of the day. When we embrace certain mindsets that see ‘local church’ as the limited system of Sunday worship and all the other usual things associated with it, what we’re unconsciously doing is vesting authority in a style, or form of religious worship while by-passing the true legitimacy of Gods people. Its not to say that Gods people who function in the whole system of Sunday church are illegitimate [that would be making the same mistake as the brother who wanted to cast the demons out of me!] but this shows us how we unconsciously make the same mistake as the 1st century Pharisee by seeing as illegitimate those who don’t follow certain protocols.

It was a common thing during the 90’s to speak about the ‘changing of the wineskin’ in order to receive the new wine [the new move of God]. Many of theses thoughts were helpful in causing us to re-think the way we ‘do’ church. I also remember a common theme being ‘God wants to pour out his Spirit, but the wineskins are not ready’ in some of these examples the ministers actually meant that we don’t have big enough buildings to put all these new converts so God is ‘withholding the new wine until the new buildings go up’. At this point you should begin seeing how once again this is confusing the reality of Christian community with ‘the church building’. I find it interesting that the pouring out of the Spirit at Pentecost was not delayed because of the lack of facilities to put all the new converts in.

Also the great missionary journeys of Paul were not delayed ‘until the new wineskins were in place’. This shows us how we’ve come to view the people of God as being dependent on the present system. Could it be that God withholds His Spirit because the ‘new wineskin’ could refer more to believers seeing themselves as the actual church that God wants to fill? If we are not rightly discerning Christ’s community as a self-sustaining society of people then the church really isn’t able to contain the new wine. If we are so limited in our thinking to view the new wineskin as larger facilities, as opposed to a rethinking of what it means to truly be Christ’s body, then maybe the holdup has more to do with a change in the way we view ‘church’ then it has to do with bigger church buildings!

CHAPTER 9

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS ‘THE LOCAL CHURCH’?

Growing up as a catholic boy [though not a good one] I remember when I came to know the lord I started reading through the bible and found how the bible contradicted many of the religious beliefs I held to as a boy [this is not to say Catholics are not Christian]. Later while attending a good Baptist church I naively believed that good Baptists must have it right because they do read the bible![parts] Here’s the whole book- https://ccoutreach87.com/further-talks-on-church-and-ministry/ [parts] There were Jews at the time of the first century who tried to ‘get along’ with Rome- and with the person in charge of their region [one of the sons of Herod the Great at the time of Christ]. These are referred to as Herodian’s in the bible. Some wanted a revolution to rid Rome from Jerusalem- these were the Zealots [one of Jesus disciples was in this group]. Some thought if they returned to a legalistic obeisance of the law- that this would bring in a deliverer- like the stories we read about in the Old testament- these were the Pharisees. And some took more of a political compromise- these were the Sadducees. Eventually a war with Rome would be fought [By the way- Josephus- the famous 1st century historian- fought on the side of the Jews in the war- and after Jerusalem was sacked in A.D. 70- he went to Rome and wrote his great works- thinking he would make a case for the Jewish people with the Romans. This is why we have his works today- which are very valuable to scholars]. NOTE- In time I’ll try and cover how we ‘got our bibles’ [called the Canon- meaning Rule/ Measurement]. Frankly- there is a lot of confusion in the general public about conspiracies [like the Catholic Church had some type of plot to keep certain books out]. Or stories about how the Church taught Mary Magdalene was a prostitute so they could discredit her. Actually- we read in the gospels that Jesus cast out ‘spirits’ from a woman who was probably living this type of life- And Jesus had a ministry to the down and out- it is indeed possible that Mary was one of these women- And if true- it would not demean her in any way- That’s how this tradition more than likely developed- But- we don’t know for sure. So a few years back the Church officially said ‘we don’t know’. Ok- Plot? [parts] Ok- the ruling empire at the time of Christ was Rome- just prior to the appearance of Jesus- the Roman Emperor- Caesar Augustus- consolidated the Roman Empire under his rule- Rome was ruled by a senate- some famous names from history were in it- Cicero being one. Caesar Augustus was the nephew of Julius Caesar- his real name was Octavian [Octavius]. After the death of Julius Caesar- there were some power struggles that took place- between some other famous people. Marc Antony being one of them [Cleopatra too- he was in love with the girl for sure]. Now- we read about Augustus in the New Testament- and we read in the book of Revelation about the Mark of the Beast- and that those who don’t worship- give homage to the Beast- they will be killed. So- Many Christians would be killed because they would refuse to give homage to Caesar Augustus [meaning son of the Divine]. ‘Wow- how did he get a name like that’ [there was more than one Caesar by the way- as well as more than one Herod- who did play a part in these power struggles- it can get confusing- even to me]. When Octavian defeated Marc Antony at Actium [32 BC]. Herod [The Great] had a problem- he had previously sided with Antony and found himself on the losing side. Yet he was smart- did some ‘brown nosing’ as we say-and patched things up. Herod had 3 sons- who would eventually take positions of authority in the Roman government at the time of Christ. Herod Antipas was over the region that we read about in the New Testament where Jesus did most of his ministry- Galilee. Ok- Octavian claimed deity because of a heavenly sign associated with his rise to power- and this is how he became called ‘Caesar Augustus’. He sort of saw himself as a ‘re-incarnate’- of his great uncle Julius Caesar. ‘John- what in the heck does this have to do with the Dead Sea Scrolls’. Ok- good question. The Jews had various responses to the empires that ruled over them during various times. Alexander the Great instituted Hellenization- a sort of cultural compromise over the people he conquered. They could keep their religious/cultural roots- but would be subservient to Alexander and Greek rule. Some Jewish people rejected any compromise- we call them the Essenes- they moved out of town- so to speak, and lived in what we refer to as the Qumran community. This was a few centuries before the time of Christ- and this was where the Dead Seas Scrolls were found in the 20th century. A Bedouin boy was looking for his goats- threw a rock in a cave right off the Dead Sea- and that’s how we found the scrolls. The scrolls might have been hidden there by the Essenes- Now- when my friends asked me about them- I told them that it’s been a while since I read up on any of this- but to the best of my memory the thing that made them significant was the fact that they were very old manuscripts- from the bible- and they backed up what we had had all along. I did read up this week- and basically had it right. The earliest Hebrew manuscripts of the Old Testament we had previously dated back to around 900- 1000 A.D. These manuscripts went back about 1000 years earlier- and they contained portions from almost every book of the Old testament- and some complete books. The only book missing was Esther. So- this was indeed a very significant find for scholars. But the Scrolls also contain some of the writings from the Essenes themselves- things we never had before- so this too was significant. There were Jews at the time of the first century who tried to ‘get along’ with Rome- and with the person in charge of their region [one of the sons of Herod the Great at the time of Christ]. These are referred to as Herodian’s in the bible. Some wanted a revolution to rid Rome from Jerusalem- these were the Zealots [one of Jesus disciples was in this group]. Some thought if they returned to a legalistic obeisance of the law- that this would bring in a deliverer- like the stories we read about in the Old testament- these were the Pharisees. And some took more of a political compromise- these were the Sadducees. Eventually a war with Rome would be fought [By the way- Josephus- the famous 1st century historian- fought on the side of the Jews in the war- and after Jerusalem was sacked in A.D. 70- he went to Rome and wrote his great works- thinking he would make a case for the Jewish people with the Romans. This is why we have his works today- which are very valuable to scholars]. NOTE- In time I’ll try and cover how we ‘got our bibles’ [called the Canon- meaning Rule/ Measurement]. Frankly- there is a lot of confusion in the general public about conspiracies [like the Catholic Church had some type of plot to keep certain books out]. Or stories about how the Church taught Mary Magdalene was a prostitute so they could discredit her. Actually- we read in the gospels that Jesus cast out ‘spirits’ from a woman who was probably living this type of life- And Jesus had a ministry to the down and out- it is indeed possible that Mary was one of these women- And if true- it would not demean her in any way- That’s how this tradition more than likely developed- But- we don’t know for sure. So a few years back the Church officially said ‘we don’t know’. Ok- Plot? No- just being careful. So there are other misguided beliefs like this- that sincere people have- and over time I hope to get to them. I’ll do one more in keeping with this post. I mentioned above that Caesar Augustus did indeed take the title of ‘son of God’. And some critics of the Church say ‘see- there were all types of religions that had Sons of God’. I watched one show a few years back- and it stated that these religions had ’12 disciples- a leader named Lord and Savior- and he healed and claimed to be God’s Son- and rose from the dead’. Ok- that show was ‘fibbing’ to put it lightly- they went too far [historically speaking] in trying to diminish the Christians claim of Christ by doing this. Now- is there some truth to this at all? Yes- like I just mentioned above- Octavian did indeed claim deity- a ‘son of god’. So- how do we explain this? In the book of Galatians the bible says ‘in the FULLNESS of times God sent forth his Son’. Jesus came at a set time in history- in fulfilment of the Jewish Prophets- to be who he was- and to do what he did. Now- this is not special pleading here- but I find it a masterpiece that God’s Son came at a time when the Roman Empire had one sitting on the throne- who too claimed deity. Yet Jesus was in a region of the lower class- his men were not highly educated- and his followers were people under oppression. Augustus lived in the wealthy and influential capital of ‘the world’- he had all you could ever ask for- he was worshiped as a god. Yet in 3 short centuries- one of the heirs of the empire- Constantine- would have an experience – not with a former Caesar- but with a vison of a Cross- He would convert to Christianity- and declare Christianity to be the religion of the realm.

VERSES- Mark 2:1 And again he entered into Capernaum after some days; and it was noised that he was in the house. Mark 2:2 And straightway many were gathered together, insomuch that there was no room to receive them, no, not so much as about the door: and he preached the word unto them. Mark 2:3 And they come unto him, bringing one sick of the palsy, which was borne of four. Mark 2:4 And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay. Mark 2:5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee. Mark 2:6 But there was certain of the scribes sitting there, and reasoning in their hearts, Mark 2:7 Why doth this man thus speak blasphemies? who can forgive sins but God only? Mark 2:8 And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, Why reason ye these things in your hearts? Mark 2:9 Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk? Mark 2:10 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,) Mark 2:11 I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house. Mark 2:12 And immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went forth before them all; insomuch that they were all amazed, and glorified God, saying, We never saw it on this fashion. Mark 2:13 And he went forth again by the sea side; and all the multitude resorted unto him, and he taught them. Mark 2:14 And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the receipt of custom, and said unto him, Follow me. And he arose and followed him. Mark 2:15 And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him. Mark 2:16 And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners? Mark 2:17 When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Mark 2:18 And the disciples of John and of the Pharisees used to fast: and they come and say unto him, Why do the disciples of John and of the Pharisees fast, but thy disciples fast not? Mark 2:19 And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber fast, while the bridegroom is with them? as long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast. Mark 2:20 But the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then shall they fast in those days. Mark 2:21 No man also seweth a piece of new cloth on an old garment: else the new piece that filled it up taketh away from the old, and the rent is made worse. Mark 2:22 And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles. Mark 2:23 And it came to pass, that he went through the corn fields on the sabbath day; and his disciples began, as they went, to pluck the ears of corn. Mark 2:24 And the Pharisees said unto him, Behold, why do they on the sabbath day that which is not lawful? Mark 2:25 And he said unto them, Have ye never read what David did, when he had need, and was an hungred, he, and they that were with him? Mark 2:26 How he went into the house of God in the days of Abiathar the high priest, and did eat the shewbread, which is not lawful to eat but for the priests, and gave also to them which were with him? Mark 2:27 And he said unto them, The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath: Mark 2:28 Therefore the Son of man is Lord also of the sabbath. 1Samuel 21:1 Then came David to Nob to Ahimelech the priest: and Ahimelech was afraid at the meeting of David, and said unto him, Why art thou alone, and no man with thee? 1Samuel 21:2 And David said unto Ahimelech the priest, The king hath commanded me a business, and hath said unto me, Let no man know any thing of the business whereabout I send thee, and what I have commanded thee: and I have appointed my servants to such and such a place. 1Samuel 21:3 Now therefore what is under thine hand? give me five loaves of bread in mine hand, or what there is present. 1Samuel 21:4 And the priest answered David, and said, There is no common bread under mine hand, but there is hallowed bread; if the young men have kept themselves at least from women. 1Samuel 21:5 And David answered the priest, and said unto him, Of a truth women have been kept from us about these three days, since I came out, and the vessels of the young men are holy, and the bread is in a manner common, yea, though it were sanctified this day in the vessel. 1Samuel 21:6 So the priest gave him hallowed bread: for there was no bread there but the shewbread, that was taken from before the LORD, to put hot bread in the day when it was taken away. 1Samuel 21:7 Now a certain man of the servants of Saul was there that day, detained before the LORD; and his name was Doeg, an Edomite, the chiefest of the herdmen that belonged to Saul. 1Samuel 21:8 And David said unto Ahimelech, And is there not here under thine hand spear or sword? for I have neither brought my sword nor my weapons with me, because the king’s business required haste. 1Samuel 21:9 And the priest said, The sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom thou slewest in the valley of Elah, behold, it is here wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod: if thou wilt take that, take it: for there is no other save that here. And David said, There is none like that; give it me. 1Samuel 21:10 And David arose and fled that day for fear of Saul, and went to Achish the king of Gath. 1Samuel 21:11 And the servants of Achish said unto him, Is not this David the king of the land? did they not sing one to another of him in dances, saying, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands? 1Samuel 21:12 And David laid up these words in his heart, and was sore afraid of Achish the king of Gath. 1Samuel 21:13 And he changed his behaviour before them, and feigned himself mad in their hands, and scrabbled on the doors of the gate, and let his spittle fall down upon his beard. 1Samuel 21:14 Then said Achish unto his servants, Lo, ye see the man is mad: wherefore then have ye brought him to me? 1Samuel 21:15 Have I need of mad men, that ye have brought this fellow to play the mad man in my presence? shall this fellow come into my house? ________________________________________ 13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. 14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. James 30 And many other signs truly did Jesus in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book: 31 But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name. John 20 26 And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body. 27 And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; 28 For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. Matt.

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 VERSES [These are the verses I taught or quoted on the video- Kings 20]

Isaiah 33:20

Look upon Zion, the city of our solemnities: thine eyes shall see Jerusalem a quiet habitation, a tabernacle that shall not be taken down; not one of the stakes thereof shall ever be removed, neither shall any of the cords thereof be broken.

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 1Kings 20:1 And Benhadad the king of Syria gathered all his host together: and there were thirty and two kings with him, and horses, and chariots; and he went up and besieged Samaria, and warred against it.

1Kings 20:2 And he sent messengers to Ahab king of Israel into the city, and said unto him, Thus saith Benhadad,

1Kings 20:3 Thy silver and thy gold is mine; thy wives also and thy children, even the goodliest, are mine.

1Kings 20:4 And the king of Israel answered and said, My lord, O king, according to thy saying, I am thine, and all that I have.

1Kings 20:5 And the messengers came again, and said, Thus speaketh Benhadad, saying, Although I have sent unto thee, saying, Thou shalt deliver me thy silver, and thy gold, and thy wives, and thy children;

1Kings 20:6 Yet I will send my servants unto thee to morrow about this time, and they shall search thine house, and the houses of thy servants; and it shall be, that whatsoever is pleasant in thine eyes, they shall put it in their hand, and take it away.

1Kings 20:7 Then the king of Israel called all the elders of the land, and said, Mark, I pray you, and see how this man seeketh mischief: for he sent unto me for my wives, and for my children, and for my silver, and for my gold; and I denied him not.

1Kings 20:8 And all the elders and all the people said unto him, Hearken not unto him, nor consent.

1Kings 20:9 Wherefore he said unto the messengers of Benhadad, Tell my lord the king, All that thou didst send for to thy servant at the first I will do: but this thing I may not do. And the messengers departed, and brought him word again.

1Kings 20:10 And Benhadad sent unto him, and said, The gods do so unto me, and more also, if the dust of Samaria shall suffice for handfuls for all the people that follow me.

1Kings 20:11 And the king of Israel answered and said, Tell him, Let not him that girdeth on his harness boast himself as he that putteth it off.

1Kings 20:12 And it came to pass, when Ben-hadad heard this message, as he was drinking, he and the kings in the pavilions, that he said unto his servants, Set yourselves in array. And they set themselves in array against the city.

1Kings 20:13 And, behold, there came a prophet unto Ahab king of Israel, saying, Thus saith the LORD, Hast thou seen all this great multitude? behold, I will deliver it into thine hand this day; and thou shalt know that I am the LORD.

1Kings 20:14 And Ahab said, By whom? And he said, Thus saith the LORD, Even by the young men of the princes of the provinces. Then he said, Who shall order the battle? And he answered, Thou.

1Kings 20:15 Then he numbered the young men of the princes of the provinces, and they were two hundred and thirty two: and after them he numbered all the people, even all the children of Israel, being seven thousand.

1Kings 20:16 And they went out at noon. But Benhadad was drinking himself drunk in the pavilions, he and the kings, the thirty and two kings that helped him.

1Kings 20:17 And the young men of the princes of the provinces went out first; and Benhadad sent out, and they told him, saying, There are men come out of Samaria.

1Kings 20:18 And he said, Whether they be come out for peace, take them alive; or whether they be come out for war, take them alive.

1Kings 20:19 So these young men of the princes of the provinces came out of the city, and the army which followed them.

1Kings 20:20 And they slew every one his man: and the Syrians fled; and Israel pursued them: and Benhadad the king of Syria escaped on an horse with the horsemen.

1Kings 20:21 And the king of Israel went out, and smote the horses and chariots, and slew the Syrians with a great slaughter.

1Kings 20:22 And the prophet came to the king of Israel, and said unto him, Go, strengthen thyself, and mark, and see what thou doest: for at the return of the year the king of Syria will come up against thee.

1Kings 20:23 And the servants of the king of Syria said unto him, Their gods are gods of the hills; therefore they were stronger than we; but let us fight against them in the plain, and surely we shall be stronger than they.

1Kings 20:24 And do this thing, Take the kings away, every man out of his place, and put captains in their rooms:

1Kings 20:25 And number thee an army, like the army that thou hast lost, horse for horse, and chariot for chariot: and we will fight against them in the plain, and surely we shall be stronger than they. And he hearkened unto their voice, and did so.

1Kings 20:26 And it came to pass at the return of the year, that Benhadad numbered the Syrians, and went up to Aphek, to fight against Israel.

1Kings 20:27 And the children of Israel were numbered, and were all present, and went against them: and the children of Israel pitched before them like two little flocks of kids; but the Syrians filled the country.

1Kings 20:28 And there came a man of God, and spake unto the king of Israel, and said, Thus saith the LORD, Because the Syrians have said, The LORD is God of the hills, but he is not God of the valleys, therefore will I deliver all this great multitude into thine hand, and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

1Kings 20:29 And they pitched one over against the other seven days. And so it was, that in the seventh day the battle was joined: and the children of Israel slew of the Syrians an hundred thousand footmen in one day.

1Kings 20:30 But the rest fled to Aphek, into the city; and there a wall fell upon twenty and seven thousand of the men that were left. And Benhadad fled, and came into the city, into an inner chamber.

1Kings 20:31 And his servants said unto him, Behold now, we have heard that the kings of the house of Israel are merciful kings: let us, I pray thee, put sackcloth on our loins, and ropes upon our heads, and go out to the king of Israel: peradventure he will save thy life.

1Kings 20:32 So they girded sackcloth on their loins, and put ropes on their heads, and came to the king of Israel, and said, Thy servant Benhadad saith, I pray thee, let me live. And he said, Is he yet alive? he is my brother.

1Kings 20:33 Now the men did diligently observe whether any thing would come from him, and did hastily catch it: and they said, Thy brother Benhadad. Then he said, Go ye, bring him. Then Benhadad came forth to him; and he caused him to come up into the chariot.

1Kings 20:34 And Ben-hadad said unto him, The cities, which my father took from thy father, I will restore; and thou shalt make streets for thee in Damascus, as my father made in Samaria. Then said Ahab, I will send thee away with this covenant. So he made a covenant with him, and sent him away.

1Kings 20:35 And a certain man of the sons of the prophets said unto his neighbour in the word of the LORD, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man refused to smite him.

1Kings 20:36 Then said he unto him, Because thou hast not obeyed the voice of the LORD, behold, as soon as thou art departed from me, a lion shall slay thee. And as soon as he was departed from him, a lion found him, and slew him.

1Kings 20:37 Then he found another man, and said, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man smote him, so that in smiting he wounded him.

1Kings 20:38 So the prophet departed, and waited for the king by the way, and disguised himself with ashes upon his face.

1Kings 20:39 And as the king passed by, he cried unto the king: and he said, Thy servant went out into the midst of the battle; and, behold, a man turned aside, and brought a man unto me, and said, Keep this man: if by any means he be missing, then shall thy life be for his life, or else thou shalt pay a talent of silver.

1Kings 20:40 And as thy servant was busy here and there, he was gone. And the king of Israel said unto him, So shall thy judgment be; thyself hast decided it.

1Kings 20:41 And he hasted, and took the ashes away from his face; and the king of Israel discerned him that he was of the prophets.

1Kings 20:42 And he said unto him, Thus saith the LORD, Because thou hast let go out of thy hand a man whom I appointed to utter destruction, therefore thy life shall go for his life, and thy people for his people.

1Kings 20:43 And the king of Israel went to his house heavy and displeased, and came to Samaria.

 "Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won't he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?

Luke 14:31

Zechariah 12:10

And I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and of supplications: and they shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son, and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn.

In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations

1 Peter 5:8 [Full Chapter]

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

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Thanks- John.

[roamingholiday]

Tuesday, July 18th 2017

C. S., of C. S. Lewis, stands for Clive Staples. He went by Jack.

I don’t blame him. 

We finished our discussion on Shadowlands today, and argued pleasantly for a little while about how best to reconcile Clive’s Narnia work with the irritable, grumpy old guy he apparently was. “Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world” indeed.

I’m just pleased that he didn’t follow the Write What You Know school of thought which gets us thousands of books about middle-aged professors having affairs (remember that, that’s going to be important later), I don’t mind at all that the product of a grumpy old man’s twilight years was a series of books about children walking through a wardrobe to discover another, better universe.

Though I will say that in the movie he insists that the world is about magic and not Christianity and that is a bold-faced lie.

(The caveat, by the way, to Don’t Write What You Know is Do Your Damn Research, so that you can write about something interesting but also not be super offensive.)

Most of the rest of the day was spent lounging around on various surfaces (my desk, my bed, the bed next to mine which is not in use, the floor) and thinking very seriously about and then preceding to not do the extensive amounts of reading that was due in two days.

After I did absolutely no work, we made short work of a quick pasta dinner (I don’t know why the only gluten free pasta that is actually tasty always comes in the form of fusilli, but it does, and that’s true not only in all of the different grocery stores here, but at home too?), and then we settled down to watch our next movie, an adaptation of the Graham Greene novel End of the Affair.

Okay, so remember what I said a very short time ago about the thousands of boring novels about a middle aged guy and the torrid affair that he has that he eventually walks away from having learned nothing? Remember that? And how that’s bad? And we’re very grateful that C. S. Lewis has some imagination, even if his life was fairly boring?

Right, so buckle in for the single worst example of this already terrible trope that I have ever read, seen, or heard about.

We open on a dimly lit office room. The single lamp illuminates the typewriter on the desk, and the hands on the keys. The man’s face is cast in shadow.

As he types out the words, a voiceover reads them slowly and solemnly.

“This. Is a diary.” Pause for dramatic effect. “Of hate.”

It really just goes downhill from there.

For those who have not had the indescribable pleasure of watching this movie, or reading the book that it’s based on, here are the fact. Graham Greene, the author of the book, is a writer. In his real life, he had an affair with a married woman. Evidently (given the publishing time) minutes after this affair ended, he sat down and wrote End of the Affair, which is a book about a writer who has an affair with a married woman that ends tragically. The writer, whose name is Maurice Bendrix, also writes books about people who have affairs. That is a plot point.

So a writer who has affairs writes a book about a writer who has affairs who writes books about affairs.

The entire movie was filled with more annoying voiceovers than Twilight, constantly switching between the dramatic dim office and the typewriter and his flashbacks, both to two years before, during the affair, and the near present, in which it has been two years since he’s seen the woman (she’s named Sarah, of course she is, I’m so sorry, Sarahs of the world, I’m sure you’re good people, you don’t deserve this), and her husband decides that he, the writer, the affair-haver, Maurice Bendrix himself, is the perfect person to stalk his wife and discover whether she’s having an affair.

Which she isn’t. She did have an affair, with him, two years ago, and then broke it off suddenly because it was the middle of WWII (which is of very little consequence apart from making you really really hate the amount of privilege these rich white British assholes had, and also providing some priceless lines) and Maurice Bendrix was almost killed by a bomb and she prayed that if his life was saved she would break off the affair, and of course he lived and she broke off the affair without telling him and now he’s creepily obsessed with her. She’s not having another affair, though, these two years afterwards, she’s actually just been going to church. She’s having an affair with god.

With me so far? Probably not, but it’s a very difficult movie to explain, and so if you’re really curious look it up on wikipedia.

Maurice Bendrix, by the way, is played by Ralph Fiennes, which is very hard for me because I mostly know him from playing Voldemort in Harry Potter.

Here are some of those pricelessly awful lines I mentioned:

“The war was the greatest pimp and the V1s never affected us until the act of love was over.” (Because they snuck out to meet each other during air raids???)

“Happiness is harder to write than goodness.” (What the hell does that even mean??)

"I measured love by the extent of my jealousy." (This was a running theme. “I'm jealous of this stocking.” “I'm jealous of everything that moves. I'm jealous of the rain!” “I am a jealous man.” It was deeply troubling, and I certainly hope no one has ever looked at the example of Maurice Bendrix and thought that that was what love should look like because it wasn’t love, it was obsession, and it was the kind of obsession that made me very sure that at some point this movie was going to stop leading up and just get right into the episode of Criminal Minds that I was pretty sure was about to start.)

And, of course, who could forget the final lines, “I hate you, God. I hate you as though you existed.” He was typing on a typewriter as the voiceover said it. Nice parallels of being a super creepy stuck up douche, there.

Of course, Sarah dramatically dies of an unidentified illness at the end, that was apparently foreshadowed in the movie by her having a slight cough, and Maurice’s conclusion is that life is terrible and God is an awful person who has a personal vendetta against him and his own, because he’s that kind of self-obsessed probably-going-to-murder-a-bunch-of-people-in-a-movie-theater-one-day person who thinks that the entire universe genuinely does revolve around him.

0/10, would not recommend unless you hate yourself.