#gradeaus

[siryyeet]

Ballade vom Heldentod eines deutschen Offiziers

In Garmisch, meinem Heimatort,

im achtunddreißiger Jahr,

lebte in unserem Nachbarhaus dort

ein älteres Ehepaar.

Er sprach von «Frau Hauptmann» und sie von «mein Gatte».

Sie stritten sich viel, die zwei.

Er bekam Offizierspension und sie hatte

eine kleine Leihbücherei.

Doch Bücher zu leihn hat fast niemand gewagt,

ihr Lädchen blieb meistens leer.

«Die Leute», sprach sie, «Gott sei's geklagt,

lesen keine Bücher mehr.»

Beim Spazierengehn fiel er bisweilen um,

dann schlug er um sich und schrie.

Von Verdun hatte er einen Kopfschuß,

darum litt er an Epilepsie.

Beim Bäcker, wo er täglich die Semmeln gekauft,

hieß es plötzlich: «Für Sie sind sie aus.»

Er war auf den Vornamen Fritz getauft,

aber Hedy war aus jüdischem Haus.

Dann war es eines Tages so weit:

Fünf Männer, die taten ganz fremd,

sie ließen ihr nicht mal Zeit für ihr Kleid

und führten sie fort im Hemd.

Die Leute lachten und kamen gerannt:

In einem Käfig stand sie zur Schau.

Daran hing ein Schild und darauf stand:

«Ich bin eine Judensau!»

Fritz wußte erst nicht, was tun,

aber dann - kam er plötzlich in Fahrt.

Er zog sich seine Uniform an,

die hatte er aufbewahrt.

Er hängte sich alle Orden um.

Sein Gesicht, das war feldgrau.

Er marschierte zum Käfig und stellte sich stur

vor seine liebe Frau.

So stand er in seinem Paraderock,

den Säbel in Habt-acht.

Es begann zu schneien in dichtem Geflock,

Fritz hielt die Ehrenwacht.

Sie sprachen nicht miteinander, die zwei.

Er stand einen Tag, eine Nacht.

Die Leute drückten sich scheu vorbei

und haben nicht mehr gelacht.

Den Herrenmenschen ging allgemach

die Sache dann doch zu weit.

Ein SA-Mann trat zu Fritz und sprach:

«Du entehrst dieses Ehrenkleid !»

Doch Fritz fuhr fort, gradeaus zu schaun,

und schenkte ihm keinen Blick.

Da haben sie ihn auf den Kopf gehaun

mit einem Eisenstück.

Er fiel zu Boden ohne ein Wort.

So lag er im Schnee noch lange,

und viele Leute sahen ihn dort

samt Orden und Ehrenspange.

Sie schwiegen und schauten woanders hin,

wollten niemand loben noch schelten.

Allein saß Hedy im Käfig drin,

in einer großen Kälten.

Es heißt, daß sie nichts mehr verstanden hat,

denn sie war da schon geistig verstört.

Ich hörte, sie kam nach Theresienstadt.

Sonst hab ich nichts mehr gehört.

-Michael Ende

[liedpoesierebscher]

There Is No Alternative

Glaube das nicht,

was TINA behauptet!

Dass ihr Weg

alternativlos sei

und du deshalb

unbedingt

den ihren gehen müsstest!

Tu das nicht!

Du kannst links

oder rechts gehen, mittendurch

und gradeaus, kannst

den gleichen Weg zurück

oder querfeldein gehen.

Am besten

deinen eigenen Weg!

[timstolejasonscorpseagain]

is it common for other people to have a radio in their head or is it like quiet? 'cus like ill be having 2-3 songs or more playing all at once and its sometimes the weirdest mixes

like right now its;

Oh-ee-eh Luftens Helte! Oh-ee-Oh Luftens helte!

klopf klopf lass mich rein, lass mich dein geheinmis sein

klopf klopf klopf klopf

Venner mellem tykt og tyndt!

klopf klopf lass mich rein, lass mich dein geheinmis sein

Chip-chip-chip og Chap de kan klare, chip-chip-chip og Chap, hver en fare!

Links rechts gradeaus, du bist im labyrinth

keiner kann dir sagen welche turen die richtigen sind mein velornes kind

Oh-ee-eh Luftens Helte! Oh-ee-Oh Luftens helte! Her i andeby! Rip og Rap og Rup tar' ud på eventyr woohoo!

it is a fkn mess

[xdevilsproud]

Ich komm erst nach Hause, wenn die andern aus dem Haus gehen. Schlafrhythmus gefickt, ich seh die Sonne immer aufgehen. Kannst du mich nach Haus bring'n? Ich kann kaum noch gradeaus sehen weil ich bin nachts wach, fucked up, Babe ich weiß, du hasst das. Ich hitt meinen Plug up, frag ihn, ob er bisschen Hasch hat. Weiß nicht, was ich mir gedacht hab. Ich schmeiß alles weg, nur weil ich's selber in der Hand hab. Ich trink den Gin, als ob es Wasser wär.

[hagebuttenhenry]

Ich will jetzt weg von dir, packe meine Sachen Lauf' nur gradeaus, verschwende an dich kein'n Gedanken

[tinkerteas]

Das Zimmer ist klein, das Kind im Spiegel immernoch überfordert vom Erwachsensein. Sicherheitsnetz zwar vorhanden, aber allzuleicht vergessen, da overseas; Freunde und Familie zu weit weg als das sie wirklich da sein könnten und ein Wunsch ich zu sein, ohne mich wirklich ganz gekannt zu haben.

Klassisch.

Zerbrechlich bei offenem Fenster, fragil wie die Gitarrenmusik im Hinterhof - oder doch nur aus billigen Kopfhörern.

4 Jahre. 1000 Melodien.

Alles baut auf die Hoffnung; und meine Augen sind weit, während ich durch die Luft gradeaus taumle und natürlich so tue, als wäre da Stein unter meinen Sohlen.

Schritt für Schritt, Momo. Doch die Zeit schmeckt noch anders, die Sprache auch.

Irgendwie heimatlos, jetzt, mit zwei halben Herzen... Aber so ist sie nunmal, Zukunft, einfach am anfangen jeden Tag, jeden noch so verwirbelten Morgen.

Irgendwann will ichs in die Sonne schaffen.

Raus aus dieser Tristesse, wahrscheinlich nicht ganz, aber ohne Verstecken: durch Wahrheit vielleicht zum Finden. Und mein Pulli riecht noch altem Leben.

Mein Kleid nicht mehr nach ihm. ()

Vermisse wenig so viel wie diese erste Liebe. Hände, die mich tatsächlich gehalten haben oder sie, die mich umarmt - & late-night kino mit dem, der mich so viel verändert hat ohne es zu merken. Lächeln auf Stelzen, damit alle es sehen, 4er Klee in der Scheißstadt, aber wir haben sie bunt gemacht.

Und als der Anfang fast eine Mitte war: weg. Und komplett auf Null. Keine Chance noch schüchtern zu bleiben, den jetzt: 'das doch war dein Traum'.

Ist es auch.

Wiedermal: so die Hoffnung.

Aber geträumt hab ich seit kurzem auch viel von den meinen. Was früher noch nicht zu wissen war.

Und das Neue fühlt (!) sich noch kalt an. Aber ich kann nichts tun als schonmal loszuschwimmen.

Nie ganz alleine, aber ganz weit weg. Menschlichkeit über Telephone und Poststempel.

Ich vermisse euch, man.

[itsnothingbutluck]

Reinhard Mey - Dr. Nahtlos Dr. Sägeberg und Dr. Hein 1980 Lyrics

Ja, da war es plötzlich wieder, dieses Augenzucken In Verbindung mit dem eigenwill'gen Daumenjucken, Das ich immer kriege, eh' es einen Schneesturm gibt, Oder wenn ich stockbetrunken bin oder verliebt. Diesmal dacht' ich mir: „Du nimmst doch deine Daumenschäden Viel zu leicht, nun geh doch endlich mal zum Orthopäden!“ Und so ging ich tags darauf zu Doktor Sägeberg, Der spuckte in die Hände und machte sich ans Werk:

„Tief einatmen, Hände hoch, und runter mit der Hose, So – bitte, recht freundlich!“ Fertig war die Diagnose. „Tja“, sagte er, „Ihr Gelenkmoment ist ziemlich gross, Und Ihr Zustand ist bedenklich, doch nicht hoffnungslos:

Ihr Jejunum ist gebogen und Ihr Nabelbein zu lang, Ihr Apendix überzogen und Ihr Plexus nicht in Gang, Ihre Blase geht nach oben und Ihr Magen gradeaus, Ihre Galle ist verschoben, und Ihr Knorpelfell muss raus. Keine Angst, das ha'm wir gleich, das geht ganz schmerzlos und ganz schnell. Bitte, Schwester Hildegard, Skalpell!“

Heftig wehrt' ich mich, doch er wollte erst von mir lassen, Als ich fragte: „Nehmen Sie auch alle Krankenkassen?“ „Hm, das ist so“, sagte er, „ein schwier'ger Fall wie Sie, Muss zu Dr. Nahtlos in die Neurochirurgie. Der hat die modernste Klinik, und zur Prophylaxis Hat er sogar einen eig'nen Friedhof bei der Praxis. Der ist als Kapazität bekannt in aller Welt, Tragisch ist nur, dass er sich für Uwe Seeler hält!“

Ich sah Dr. Nahtlos und verstand, der war noch schlimmer: Grad' flankt' er 'nen Knochen vom OP ins Wartezimmer, Pfiff auf seiner Trillerpfeife, sah mich selig an: „Ja, mein Bester, klinisch sind Sie längst ein toter Mann:

Ihr Jejunum ist gebogen und Ihr Nabelbein zu lang, Ihr Apendix überzogen und Ihr Plexus nicht in Gang, Ihre Blase geht nach oben und Ihr Magen gradeaus, Ihre Galle ist verschoben, und Ihr Knorpelfell muss raus. Keine Angst, das ha'm wir gleich, das geht ganz schmerzlos und ganz schnell. Bitte, Schwester Eberhard, Skalpell!“

Ich entkam den beiden, als sie eine Münze warfen: „Operier'n wir mit dem stumpfen oder mit dem scharfen?“ Da fiel mir der Rat eines verstorb'nen Nachbarn ein: „Geh doch mal ins Uniklinikum zu Dr. Hein!“ Dort im Wartezimmer hört ich manche lange Stunde Den Krankengeschichten zu, bestaunte manche Wunde: „Hier, wo Sie die Schere fühl'n, war mal mein Blinddarm drin!“ „Ach, wie unbeschwert ich heut' ohne mein Kleinhirn bin!“

„Na, mir hat er schon zwei Nier'n entfernt, heut' kommt die dritte!“ Da, die Tür ging auf, die Schwester rief: „Der Nächste bitte!“ Auf der Flucht klang mir noch durch die off'ne Türe nach, Wie Dr. Hein mit der Sprechstundenhilfe sprach:

„Sein Jejunum ist gebogen und sein Nabelbein zu lang, Sein Apendix überzogen und sein Plexus nicht in Gang, Seine Blase geht nach oben und sein Magen gradeaus, Seine Galle ist verschoben, und sein Knorpelfell muss raus. Keine Angst, das ha'm wir gleich, das geht ganz schmerzlos und ganz schnell. Bitte, Schwester Ingeborg, Skalpell!“

[werwolfpoesie]

Himmelgrau in kahler Weite

Stille herrscht auf leerer Flur

Ödes Land zu jeder Seite

Folgend halb verblasster Spur

Regen bringt nur Flut und Fäule

Klingt wie Pappe, riecht nach nichts

Dumpfes Wanken dürrer Gäule

Schattenraub des fahlen Lichts

Schleppend schiebt die Folge vorwärts

Immer gradeaus gen Nacht

Köpfe lahm mit altem Herzschmerz

Prozession bis in den Schacht

Tote Welt auf leerer Erde

Haldenlandschaft roh entblößt

Dass es niemals Frühling werde

Hacke tief noch tiefer stößt

In der Nacht singt die Laterne

Und es weht ein kühler Wind

Stahl auf Stein in weiter Ferne

Sterne nur hier unten sind

[boer-boxer]

@gradeaus ITS UGLY, I HATE NIKE

well so far the rugby world cup isnt really going how i was hoping it would go but alas

guesses for later today

japan vs chile: japan will win probs

south africa vs scotland: south africa will win, if we dont i will eat broken glass

wales vs fiji: i dont know enough about either team but probably wales?

[glompcat]

Thoughts on your favorite companion?

Oh. Ok.

I got this ask yesterday and it very quickly became so long it had to go under a read more, and then became the sort of thing I just needed more time to work on, so here is the response a full day later because I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ON THIS TOPIC OK?

So here are some thoughts on Romana (and some of my own very amateur attempts at making gifs because why not try? Also because Britbox changed their code and it is harder to take screenshots from there now D:)

If we operate under the common assumption that the companion is the viewer’s point of reference, then by the 16th season of the show the Doctor is no longer really all that.... alien. Not only that, Season 16 was the fifth season of Tom Baker’s seven year tenure on the show. The 100th serial aired that season, and that marked 15 years of Doctor Who on TV! The Doctor is no longer such a distant mysterious figure, they are, by this point, as familiar and comfortable and known as the Doctor can possibly be (well it’s Tom Baker, so that comfortable familiar feeling is akin to that felt towards that weird relative you just can’t quite understand).

That’s why it is so brilliant that suddenly the dynamic changes entirely and the Companion sees the Doctor and the TARDIS as familiar touchstones in a stream of strange and usual settings (such as that insignificant little planet in Mutter’s Spiral the Doctor is so obsessed with), echoing the shift in the audience’s own perceptions of the show. I think it is also no coincidence that with the exception of the Daleks in Destiny of the Daleks, for the most part on television while Romana was the companion, the aliens she and the Doctor faced tended to be brand new - and many of them remain one offs on television. I have similar feelings about the fact that of her seventeen planned television stories she and the Doctor only visited the Earth in three of them, and of those three visits only two (The Stones of Blood and City of Death) made it to air (obs for unrelated reasons. Shada’s fate was of course because of the BBC wide crew strike that occurred during its filming).

Doctor Who can NOT remain stagnant, and needs to constantly change in drastic and dramatic ways to survive, and Season 16 - which was also where we see the show’s very first season long story arc - is very much an example of the show attempting to do precisely that.

This is also why I think it is so cool that the series introduced to us an even more mysterious and unknowable entity that season. Someone far more powerful than the Doctor. Who is the White Guardian, exactly? I honestly can’t tell you, other than that when he isn’t wearing a bird on his head he likes to lounge on wicker furniture and drink strange cocktails.

Plus, while the Doctor is no longer alien in the eyes of the Doctor’s traveling companion, that which is familiar and comfortable to the audience is suddenly strange and unknown and downright weird in the companion’s eyes.

Romana does not know what a crow is, nor does she know what a horse is. Nor tennis, nor wellington boots, nor the Mona Lisa nor any number of a thousand different unquestioned parts of our everyday lives.

There is a section in the novelization of The Pirate Planet where Romana even expresses that she finds the concept of a family unit to be strange, because they don’t really go in for those things on Gallifrey (said passage is made all the better by her coming to the conclusion that if she were to understand the TARDIS crew through the lens of family units, than K9 would have to be the parent).

(from the novelization of The Pirate Planet by James Goss)

Humans are just as alien to her as any costumed monster. We are the strange ones, while every nonsensical thing the Doctor has ever mentioned as being part of Time Lord biology is incredibly normal to her. The Doctor can do over the top wacky things like emit sonic screams that shatter windows, and she doesn’t bat an eye because you know she can do that too (and probably do it better).

She licks rocks to identify their composition (well... she runs a finger on the rock and then licks her finger, which tells you a whole lot about the Doctor and their habit of putting things in their mouth) and can stop both of her hearts on command. In fact, sometimes when humans ask for clarification about Time Lord nonsense, she looks so annoyed to have these obvious basic things questioned by ~lesser species~ while other times she clearly delights in telling them about the wacky Time Lord nonsense.

While Gallifrey... well that’s her home, and in both audios and books we get to see the planet from her perspective, and get her thoughts on how different it seems after seeing the universe with the Doctor.

It is also important to understand that Romana was only the second alien companion on TV, the first being Susan. Yet even when Susan was on TV, Barbara and Ian were always there as well. Making Romana the first solo alien companion on TV. In fact, after Romana leaves, it only happens again on TV very briefly in bookend scenes either after a Human companion just left, or right before the introduction (or reintroduction) of the Human who will be joining the team TARDIS (leaving plenty of space open for those human-free TARDIS teams to have plenty of stories together in the EU). 

Even better, upon arriving, Romana immediately challenges the unquestioned role the Doctor has always held of being the smartest person on the TARDIS.

Oh sure, Zoe and Liz pushed the Doctor’s buttons on that front in the past, but with them there was always the conceit that what they were really surpassing was the Doctor’s expectations for how smart a Human could possibly be. I love those characters dearly, but the fact that they never truly would fully surpass the Doctor intellectually was very much a current running under their many scenes of displaying just how much smarter they were than the Doctor expected.

Romana, by virtue of being a Time Lord - and having graduated from The Time Lord Academy with perfect grades - is immediately identified to the viewer as his intellectual superior, and it is the Doctor who has to prove himself to her. Her introduction particularly underscored that when she interacted with the Doctor, she really was just seeing ~a madman with a box~ and did so without the wonder and awe the Doctor or the TARDIS normally inspire.

Yet, this being Doctor Who, we are also shown right from the start of her time on the TARDIS that she is very willing to be impressed by the Doctor, and accept that the Doctor does have experiences she lacks.

In fact, her faith in the Doctor right from the start is fairly remarkable, and the novelization of her second story - The Pirate Planet - she is put in a machine that projects your worst fears, and it is her thoughts about the Doctor that breaks the machine.

(from the novelization of The Pirate Planet by James Goss)

Time and time again we are reminded that Romana knows more than the Doctor does about just about everything technical. She’s the better TARDIS pilot, she is a better engineer, her sonic screwdriver is better than the Doctor’s, she’s more effective at dealing with politics, she regenerates with ease and has no trouble chosing her apperance, and is just an all around a quick wit. Yet for all the technical expertise she has, she doesn’t have everything the Doctor learned in their travels, a difference which highlights how the Doctor actually is kind of a genius at what they do.

(From Doctor Who and the Krikketmen by James Goss)

One of my favorite tropes in EU stories featuring Romana are all the many many ways writers like to remind us that Romana knows more about the Doctor’s usual nonsense than the Doctor does, really highlighting how much the Doctor is just faking it until they make it.

(From Festival of Death by Jonathan Morris)

The wonder and awe we are used to seeing from companions is not fully missing from her inclusion on the show. It doesn’t come from the Doctor or the TARDIS - she is herself a Time Lord and understands the secrets of the TARDIS far better than the Doctor - but from discovering the universe outside of Gallifrey.

You see, where the Doctor had been running from Gallifreyan society and spent all this time learning from Humans how to be BETTER, Romana has never set foot off Gallifrey before meeting the Doctor. She arrives fully immersed in Gallifreyan socialization, and it is through her time with the Doctor she learns that a different (and better) way of being is possible. She evolves while traveling with the Doctor and goes from thinking Gallifrey is truly the Most Advanced Civilization Ever to finding all the pomp and circumstance of their homeworld honestly funny (to later finding it all just... too much and boring. In the audios she is always interrupting people in the middle of saying her full title and the like, no longer fully comfortable with the Gallifreyan habit of drawing things out as long as possible)

(from Doctor Who and the Krikketmen by James Goss)

Essentially the Doctor gets to pass along everything they have learned from their many Human friends before that point, but all of those lessons come through that horrible lens of the Doctor’s understanding of it all. They get to introduce Romana to all the things they have discovered and delighted in since leaving home, and Romana finds a lot of value in it all, for all that she makes fun of the Doctor for being, well, the Doctor, she clearly takes what they have to say to hearts. She gets to a place where even when noting the things the Doctor is neglecting, she is easily distracted by the same things the Doctor is.

(TARDIS materialization noises) (footsteps) ROMANA: Doctor! We’ve landed!!! That’s odd… (Console beeps) ROMANA: Environment has an unusually high sillicut content. (Scanner opens) ROMANA: Oh look, rocks. (footsteps) DOCTOR: Can you believe that dog? He says he’s not to be disturbed because he’s busy reading philosophy! Human Knowledge: Its Scope and Limits by Bertrand Russell. He says he finds it amusing! ROMANA: Doctor, you’ve surpassed yourself! You’ve materialized us underground! DOCTOR: Have I?!?!?! Well- I - I - uh - (laughs) Well to be honest, I can’t take all the credit. We really have the TARDIS to thank. ROMANA: Ughhhh! But there are all sorts of safety features designed to prevent this kind of thing happening! DOCTOR: Ooooh, I never bother with them. We’d never land anywhere interesting if they were switched on. ROMANA: (very VERY serious) You mean they’re switched off? DOCTOR: Take this place for instance! It has the appearance of solid rock, but with a very low density. ROMANA: (has been fully distracted) I see what you mean! The rock is clearly igneous, but with a vesicular texture?! DOCTOR: Well it’s certainly extremely porous. When the TARDIS landed, it would have just shoved the surrounding rock out of the way. ROMANA: You’re right! It is interesting! (console beeps) Semi-molten, with a large degree of seismic activity! DOCTOR: What? ROMANA: And it’s increasing. Listen! (rumbling) DOCTOR: That’s no earthquake! That’s machinery! ROMANA: In which case, it’s heading this way. DOCTOR: Some sort of digger, I imagine. Burrowing through the bedrock like a giant worm. ROMANA: Yes! Towards us! DOCTOR: Look! Look there it is! Oh I say! Look at the size of its drill! ROMANA: In front of a vehicle the size of an ocean liner! Shouldn’t we try to get out of its way? DOCTOR: Yes. It’s at moments like this that the TARDIS’s safety features really come into their own. ROMANA: Oh. The ones you’ve switched off?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! DOCTOR: Right. The ones I - Oh deary me. ROMANA: Is that all you can say!?!? It’s going to crash into us! DOCTOR: No no no, wait! The front of it is opening up! ROMANA: Like a great mouth! DOCTOR: Yes! A gaping maw! Like the Blackwall tunnel, and it’s going to swallow us up whole! Goodbye Romana.

(from Subterranea by Jonathan Morris)

Her journey is an echo of the Doctor’s in a lot of ways, and when she leaves the TARDIS she is (by virtue of regenerating during her time traveling with the Doctor) quite literally a different person than when she arrived.

She learns to relax, to have fun, to enjoy taking in the sights and to love the Earth and other planets, she comes to respect non-Gallifreyan species.

I really love Romana’s departure, how she fully commits herself to helping a species in need, promising to “be their Time Lord��� and fight for their freedom.

(From A Brief History of Time Lords by Steve Tribe, notably this entry was in the chapter dedicated to Time Lords who ran away from what they saw in the Untempered Schism during their Academy induction ceremony when they were eight. Also I LOVE the implication that there may be more versions of Shada out there featuring incarnations of the Doctor other than Four and Eight.)

Eventually - in the EU - she gets home to Gallifrey where.... well ok, let’s look at a Moffat quote on the Doctor’s character that I think is really interesting to consider when talking about Romana’s life after traveling with the Doctor (the emphasis is mine):

“[The Doctor is] not particularly heroic, which is an odd thing to say about a hero. He’s sort of restless. He’s an adrenaline-junkie. He blunders into situations where a hero is required, and because he’s a good man, he sort of gets involved. He doesn’t stick around and sort out the government’s problems or starvation. There’s no post… er, there no post-trauma care with the Doctor, but he’s a restless, er, fantastical enthusiast is what he is… [there is some banter here between Moffat and the interviewer - Peter Davison - about the Doctor’s core personality traits] ...the flaws aren’t what make the show. I mean, he’s funny because he’s deeply flawed. No one has ever suggested he’s morally perfect, or that he’s particularly rational. I don’t think he’s even marginally sane. It’s all his flaws that make up the story. If he had really… if he was so concerned about all, err… all the goodness in the universe, wouldn’t he stay on Gallifrey and make the Time Lords better? He didn’t. Essentially, he’s a man who stole a car, and drove off into the night, and never agreed to stay anywhere for more than one night. What we love about him is the fact he never, ever grew up.” (from the Series 8 extras back when the show was on Amazon Prime)

Romana’s unknown length of time traveling with the Doctor (which seems to have been at least 50 years) ends with her choosing to stay behind in another dimension (E-Space) essentially to help with the follow up at the end of one of her and the Doctor’s adventures. She then stayed in that one small place (E-Space was notoriously tiny compared to our own dimension aka N-Space) long enough to really learn that post-trauma care is important and just blundering in and then leaving isn’t the way to affect real and lasting positive change.

This is also why the audio Neverland is so fascinating to me, as it entirely turns around the idea that the Doctor is continuously fundamentally rejecting any form of real maturity and growth. Having Romana as a foil in that story, someone invested in seeing the Doctor actually grow into their full potential, really makes sense. Romana is, after all, a Time Lord who is in many ways fundamentally like the Doctor and very much understands where the Doctor is coming from, and yet she has decided that for the sake of the greater good of the universe she needed to suck up her own desire to endlessly run and knuckle down and change the way Gallifrey functions (and of course Neverland/Zagreus ends with the Doctor being exiled anew, refusing to learn their lesson, satisfied to have uncovered yet another reason to hate Gallifrey as well as finding a method to martyr themself, while Romana shoulders the same revelations and decides that for the sake of moving Gallifrey into a better future she will not tell anyone that Rassilon is a bastard - a choice that seriously came back to bite her in the ass later).

Romana is going to do her damndest to fix the mess that is her homeworld, because she deeply believes that making the Time Lords better will make the universe as a whole better.

As much as everyone tells her that Gallifreyan politics will corrupt her, she basically lives an ethos of “RIP to every other leader in Gallifreyan history, but I’m different.”

This is a source of tension between her and the Doctor, who is fully unable to understand why she would stay on Gallifrey, and generally worries about how it will change her. As Eight said in Zagreus: “Why would I want to return here? When all my heroes are so damn disappointing? Omega - a madman sold out by his peers. Morbius - Time Lord of the first rank betrays his heritage. Borusa - My old friend, teacher, and mentor, all he wants is immortality. And Rassilon, oh Rassilon - the father of our whole society, a bigoted despot so consumed by love for his own self-image that he sentences the future to death. Who’s next? Hmm? You, Madam President? Is that what a sniff of power on your pathetic planet does? Enjoy your corruption, Romana. I don’t want to see or hear anything of Gallifrey ever again.” (from Zagreus by Alan Barnes and Gary Russell)

As for that political career of hers the Doctor looks down on? Romana’s political agenda is focused on pushing Gallifrey out of its long held isolationist stance, and most importantly she is trying to push Gallifrey to view other species as fully sentient, capable of being Gallifrey’s allies and even equals. She has entered an alliance with the other Time-faring races and sends Time Lords to help Gallifrey’s new allies when they have problems, expressing nothing but displeasure whenever she discovers Gallifreyan agencies use those missions as opportunities to leverage power over their new friends. She opened the Time Lord Academy up to non-Gallifreyan students, and not only are they allowed on Gallifrey to study, aliens can become full-fledged Gallifreyan citizens under her administration! She herself has an alien woman (a human!) acting as her bodyguard, and invites her into all kinds of delecatate political meetings, treating her opinions as just as (if not more) important as any of her other advisers (she is also deeply in love with this human, there is no getting around that, it’s just a fact, Romana is head over heels for Leela).

Aside from Gallifrey’s interactions with the outside universe, she has banned the use of torture devices like the Mind Probe as well as the Oubliette of Eternity, which erased people out of time wholesale. She also has also been appointing young Time Lords, not yet set in their ways, to very important high ranking posts, and often these appointees come from Chapters that are not normally placed in positions of leadership. For example, her first pick for Castilian was a recent graduate of the Arcalian Academy named Tungwynterestimount (he went by Wynter but his schoolmates called him Soggyboggy).

But all of that said, change doesn’t come overnight anywhere and least of all on Gallifrey. Romana has been forced to make many compromises she is uncomfortable with, and a lot of people serving in high level positions in her government deeply hate her and her reforms, and she has decided it isn’t worth the effort to investigate everything those people do or get involved in every one of the many many unethical things Gallifrey does constantly under her rule just as it has ever done. Also as President she 10000000000% has def. approved wholesale genocide and the erasure of civilizations from time itself, a fact she is deliberately keeping from people she cares about who she knows would disapprove sooooooooooooo....

And that is all before getting into Romana’s PTSD!

She experienced the rather extreme trauma of spending 20 years in solitary confinement thanks to the Daleks. According to The Apocalypse Element, the Daleks rarely took her out of her solitary windowless cell, and when she was allowed out of her cell there was never anyone around but Daleks, so she truly never had a single other being to see or talk to. The situation was.... waaaaaay more extreme than say the Doctor’s imprisonment in Revolution of the Daleks.

“Even after twenty years, heh, I still fear them coming for me. They leave me here in the cell for days at a time. No distractions. No exercise. No food. And you never hear them coming. And it’s dark and you never see them. They roll along that metal floor, closer and closer. Soundlessly. Nearer. Nearer. Stop outside the door. ...Then a voice with orders, and pushing me down the corridor for special service and you see them, crowding around you, all sharp lines and angles and sticks. Watching you do whatever it is they can’t or chose not not to do for themselves. ...They may look like the robots, but you know what - what you’ve become. And just as we wouldn’t thank a robot, when the work is done they send you away again in silence. Silently up the corridor. Black plastic poking you in the back. And you look down, and you remember when your body was full and young and fit and not emaciated. Atrophying in some stinking hole in the rock. And you count back, step after step. And the numbers are always the same. Just as the days and the nights are always the same. And all that’s changing is a little bit of you is dying. Day after day after-...” (from The Apocalypse Element by Stephen Cole)

The impact of her imprisonment is always pretty apparent in stories set after. Among other things, she seems to compulsively need to be in control, and she has difficulty trusting anyone, even her closest friends. Oh and she once tortured a Dalek to death while shouting at it about her time as a Dalek prisoner (got that casing open and electrocuted the Kaled mutant, laughing as it begged her for mercy), so you know, clearly she’s doing just fine.

She later becomes the founder of the resistance against Rassilon and the Time Lords in the Time War, and while we don’t know her own exact fate in the war, her Resistance seems to have lived on well into the War Doctor’s time.

Oh! And that’s not even getting into her life on Gallifrey BEFORE meeting the Doctor!

We know that she had little to no friends at the Academy, and would get in trouble for asking questions Time Lords weren’t really supposed to ask - such as what is the actual origin of Artron Energy.

She has her own version of the Master, a best friend from the Academy known as Sartia, who emotionally manipulated her, making Romana think they were close friends so she could get Romana to help her do better on her exams when she really hated her guts.

Sartia showed up in one amazing two part story in the Fourth Doctor Adventures which I could easily quote all day long, it is so good. Actually you know what? I’m going to get into this one audio in depth, because I really do love what it shows us about Romana’s life on Gallifrey before meeting the Doctor, the ways that influnce her time traveling with the Doctor, and it even tries to explain why the Doctor was so set on returning her to Gallifrey in Full Circle. It is a story that highlights that by the point when it takes place (between the Season 18 TV serials The Leisure Hive and Meglos) the Doctor trusts Romana to do the right thing no matter what the reward for making the wrong choice may be. Essentially it is a great story to highlight how Romana has really benefited from the wealth of additional context and content given to her by Big Finish.

Every time we learn more about Romana’s life before meeting the Doctor, it is both wonderful because yay for fully fleshing her out, but also so sad, all these further confirmations that Gallifrey is one of the very worst places imaginable to grow up.

Time and time again we are reminded that Gallifreyan culture is one where “friend” is a dirty word, and even when Time Lords use it with each other, something that only happens after decades of vetting each other, even then, it is very likely one or both of the people involved is just using the other as an end to a means. Generally within their society emotions are discouraged (and let me tell you I am FASCINATED to see going forward what it means to take a culture that already suppressed emotions to an extreme and cyber-convert them). All art is made by computers and is hyper-realistic. Most food comes in tablet or food-cube form. One foot out of line, and you might be erased from all of time and space. And to even get there, to that - the good life of the elite who qualify for the title “Time Lord” - you have to devote over a century of your life to the Academy.

Everyone looks down on those who chose other paths. The Gallifreyans who join the army, the Shobogans, the Outsiders.

The Academy rewrites your DNA as you move through it, changing you more and more until finally you can claim the title Time Lord and… stay in line, do the job assigned to you, hide all emotion, jockey for a better position, and never ever form meaningful bonds with others (which is one of the many reasons I find the Timeless Child narrative something that fits what already existed so well. We already knew the Time Lord Academy on Gallifrey fundamentally was altering its students genetics, changing who they are on a biological level. That was already a part of their story).

Like is it any wonder Time Lords are all so terrible? They all have come through these systems, from this society, that made sure they never did learn how to interact with others properly. Is it any wonder that Romana’s key focus as a politician, the issue she seems to care about the most, the thing she is so passionate about - to the point where Rassilon directly states during a War Council meeting during the Time War that it has always been her chief concern - is reforming the Time Lord Academy? Enacting radical policies like forcing the Academy to also teach the young of other species, and create accommodations for their non-Gallifreyan socialization? Encourage the Gallifreyan students to welcome their new classmates and spend time with them and see what they might learn from the so called “lesser species?” The ones Time Lords look down their noses at, yet tend to have far happier lives, really. And Romana would know. She’s actually been off Gallifrey before, unlike basically everyone else on the planet. She even welcomes alien teachers into the Academy’s classrooms, because she KNOWS that there is SO MUCH the Time Lords have to learn from the rest of the universe. SO MUCH they don’t already know!

Honestly it is part of why I ship the Doctor and Romana so hard. Oh there are other reasons as well of course, but I also love how they both came out of this terribly abusive system that destroys people’s ability to have healthy relationships… and somehow managed to, together, get things to a place where they knew they could truly trust the other (until a time came when that was no longer the case). And the memory of their time together lights the fire under Romana’s ass to get shit done.

She’s seen that actual real friendship and love is possible for her species. She’s experienced it, and simply accepting that things like that just can not exist on Gallifrey makes no damn sense to her.

She’s seen a better way!

She’s seen governments that do not rule by fear, societies where the people are allowed to have lives outside of set assigned roles. The Doctor took her to see all these amazing beautiful things she was always told were impossible. And those were the products of the so called ~lesser species.~

Of course Gallifrey has a lot to learn from them!

Of course she puts non-Gallifreyans into the classrooms, both as students and as teachers!

The wealth of knowledge they bring, ways of thinking and being unlike the doctrines taught in exactly the same way for millennia untold! There is no reason all these other lesser species can have these things yet Time Lords can not! It must be possible for them as well!

Ok I said I was going to focus on this one Big Finish audio for a sec, so why all this ranting about Gallifrey and Romana’s youth and all that? Well, in this story the Doctor and Romana run into Romana’s only best friend from her school days at Prydon Academy, Sartiacaradinora.

Romana, hoping that the Doctor isn’t the only other member of her own species she’s ever had a real connection with, falls for all of Sartia’s lies and refuses to accept all story long that Sartia isn’t actually her friend.

Early in the story the Doctor and Romana wind up separated. The Doctor winds up with the crew of a crashed spaceship that has been there for two weeks. The crew of this ship were filming a reality nature exploration tv show, and still have all of their cameras active, recording everything.

Romana on the other hand winds up in the only settlement on the entire planet, which is covered by a gelationous ocean where everything sinks very very slowly. The people there fish these small eels that live in the gelatin, and use massive balloons to walk on the waves as part of how they catch them. They have a village seer, who is chained to a massive book of futures, which they read during village rituals. It’s also a floating wooden town where everything is nautical and everyone is prone to punctuating their sentences with random arrrrs. It’s both great worldbuilding and very very silly all at once.

Sartia was one of the crew members of the downed ship, a camera operator for the reality TV show. The Doctor of course recognizes Sartia as a fellow Time Lord as soon as he meets her, and is immediatly suspicous of her.

(door opens with a low moan) KLICK: Come on, lean on me. DOCTOR: I am very much obliged to you. ORENSKY: Over here, sit down. DOCTOR: Thank you. Whew! That was a timely arrival! KLICK: Take it easy. Drink this. DOCTOR: I’m fine. ORENSKY: You were nearly drowned! DOCTOR: Jelly overdose is more like it. I have a friend. Not very tall. She’s still out there. ORENSKY: Friend? DOCTOR: Mmmm. Romana. SARTIA: Romana?!?! DOCTOR: Yes. Yes. I have to find her! She’s lighter than I am, maybe she’ll stay afloat longer. I’m the Doctor by the way. And you? KLICK: Klick Chervain, this is my ship. I’ll run a sweep. You’ll need fresh clothes too. DOCTOR: Just find Romana. ORENSKY: You’re not from Funderell. Are you from Earth? DOCTOR: I’m… is that a camera flying up there? I don’t like cameras. ORENSKY: It’s for our records. Where’s your ship? DOCTOR: I lost her too. Are you a planetary survey expedition? ORENSKY: Maybe. How ‘bout you? DOCTOR: Oh, I can’t complain, just passing through. ORENSKY: Through here? DOCTOR: Yes, and… whom do you work for????? SARTIA: Me? Uh… Mr. Orensky employs me. DOCTOR: How interesting!!! On work experience from the Academy I suppose!?!? SARTIA: I… can take a hoverbike. Out to the village, in case the locals have run into your friend. DOCTOR: That’s very kind. ORENSKY: Try not to rile them, Sartia! SARTIA: I won’t! DOCTOR: It’s hard to find a good assistant, isn’t it? Sometimes one can wait for lightyears, and then (blows air noisily) ORENSKY: You didn’t answer my question. DOCTOR: I’m not spying on you Mr. ….uuuum ORENSKY: Orensky. Eamonn Orensky. DOCTOR: But can you please call off your cameras? It’s getting intrusive. ORENSY: We’re making a video documentary. About the unexplored bionetwork of this planet. DOCTOR: Then I apologize for wrecking your recording schedule. Unfortunately the star of your film has swallowed my TARDIS, whole! And possibly my irreplaceable assistant too!

As I said, the Doctor is understandably suspicious that he’d find a Time Lady working for someone like Eamonn Orensky, so he gets to work investigating.

DOCTOR: Mr. Chervain! KLICK: What is it? DOCTOR: I’m bored. Do you need a hand with the engines? KLICK: Not exactly. DOCTOR: Photon injection are they? Can I take a look? KLICK: Help yourself. They’re burnt out anyway. DOCTOR: Ah, I wouldn’t say that! With a bit of work… KLICK: I don’t have the spares. DOCTOR: But I might! KLICK: If you had your ship. DOCTOR: You’re right. Meanwhile, you’ve got two unhappy customers poking cameras over your shoulders at every opportunity. KLICK: Oh, Eamonn’s ok. DOCTOR: More of a showman than a scientist, I’d say. KLICK: What are you after? I don’t want any trouble. DOCTOR: These are difficult circumstances, and you are keeping our heads above water. That’s admirable. KLICK: While the floatation tanks hold out. Look, sorry about your friend. DOCTOR: We’ll see what Sartia comes up with. And talking of Sartia… KLICK: You can fathom her either? DOCTOR: Oh, I’m fascinated by anyone with hidden depths. The deeper the better. KLICK: You know what? DOCTOR: Hmm? KLICK: Well it’s not exactly ethical.   DOCTOR: Ethics? They’re for moral crusaders and maiden aunts. KLICK: Sartia’s not around and… um… perhaps there’s ways of finding out her plans? (tapping on keypad) KLICK: There we go... DOCTOR: Any luck? KLICK: Damn! Sartia’s encrypted her records. I don’t recognize any of these symbols! DOCTOR: Let me try. Budge up a bit. Now then… Wait for it! Wait. For. It. Ahah! KLICK: How did you do that? DOCTOR: Oh, as a former President of Prydon Academy I retain unofficially an override key to all its systems. Et Voila! (computer makes rapid beeping sounds) KLICK: I have no idea what you’re talking about. DOCTOR: You’re not the only one. ...Oh! Oooooooh. That’s interesting! KLICK: You can read that language? DOCTOR: Well, it’s current Gallifreyan. Boringly bureaucratic, of course. It says that all records of the planet Funderell are closed! KLICK: Even to you? DOCTOR: (sighs) I’ll try not to take it personally, but apparently this world has been off limits for the past 46 millennia! A bit before my time. But, if we’re caught here we’ll be in serious trouble. KLICK: How serious? DOCTOR: Oh, sentenced to memory wiping or even… summary dispersion. It depends on what the Time Lords are covering up. KLICK: Time Lords? DOCTOR: Yes. No wonder Sartia is intrigued.   DOCTOR: Mr. Orensky, I am indebted to you! ORENSKY: It’s Saria you should thank. DOCTOR: Oh, I will. I will! Such an enterprising young lady. Remind me, where did you say you met her? ORENSKY: Eeee-yeah. That’s right. Uh… she um. DOCTOR: Yeah. Surely you remember? ORENSKY: O-of course I do! I-it’s just… DOCTOR: It feels like you’ve known her for years? ORENSKY: Yeah. Crazy. DOCTOR: Oh well, not to worry old chap. It’s the stress. It’ll come back.

When Sartia reaches the village and sees Romana, she pretends she never met the Doctor, only telling Romana that the Doctor is safe on her ship just before Romana boards the ship herself. Right away we see that Sartia - a character Romana identifies as her best friend - frames her relationship to Romana through manipulation and deciet.

ROLF: We have company, Captain. GREYGUL: Who’s there? SARTIA: Good evening, Captain Greygul. I’ve brought gifts for trade, as I promised. GREYGUL: You again? ROMANA: Sartia ? ! GREYGUL: Is this a friend of yours? SARTIA: What? It can’t be! Mana! Is that you? ROMANA: Sartiacaradinora, what are you doing here? SARTIA: Well I could ask you the same! Oh… this… it’s incredible! ROMANA: Ridiculous you mean. SARTIA: (laughing) My goodness! ROLF: Like two sleeklings on one hook. GREYGUL: Is she part of your crew? SARTIA: No. No, but we go back a long way! Mana, what are you doing here? Do you have a ship? ROMANA: I did! But it’s lost. It sank out there! SARTIA: Oh no! Catastrophe! ROLF: Seems odd that we never saw strangers before, and then suddenly they’re piddling down from the sky like the rain. More and more strangers unsettling the balance. ROMANA: Sartia, thank goodness you arrived. Do you know these people? Please explain to them that I’m not a threat! SARTIA: Right. No problem. Captain Greygul, uh, this is my oldest friend. ROMANA: Well, not that old! GREYGUL: From a second star ship? ROLF: Hah! She must think we’re fools! ROMANA: You got here by spaceship? SARTIA: At least my transport didn’t sink! GREYGUL: Bicker all you like. How many more of you are there? SARTIA: Three of us, on the Mars Beam. You’ve seen us all. GREYGUL: Have we? But she makes four! ROMANA: Because I’ve just arrived. SARTIA: Captain, we mean you no harm. We already have an agreement! GREYGUL: Oh, and then there’s this doctor of yours! ROMANA: Who I have to find! GREYGUL: The numbers keep going up! Soon there’ll be whole schools of you! We’ll be overrun! SARTIA: A doctor? You aren’t alone? Did he go down with your ship? ROMANA: No! He’s out there! He must be! (much much much later, like in the second half hour of the story later, when they are en route to the Mars Beam) SARTIA: Sartia to Mars Beam, Mars Beam can you hear me? ORENSKY: Sartia? Where the hell are you? SARTIA: Coming in. And I have the Doctor’s friend with me! ROMANA: The Doctor!?!?!?!? ORENSKY: You have Romana? That’s brilliant Sartia! Is she safe? SARTIA: Just about! Prepare everybody for trouble. It’s right behind us. Out. ROMANA: Is he there? Is the Doctor on your ship? WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY? SARTIA: I didn’t know why you were here, Romana dear. I thought you were checking up on me.

Sartia and Romana are so competitive with each other at all times, and Sartia is very manipulative in all of her actions with Romana. The fact that their friendship is super fake is obvious to listeners right from the start, and yet Romana apparently really does think Sartia likes her and had no idea that back when she knew her on Gallifrey she was only being used as a means to boost Sartia’s grades.

Even after Sartia tries to murder her later in the story Romana is still insistent that at least at some point in the past their friendship had to have been real. She refuses to believe Sartia had always been using her.

That said, they occasionally have exchanges where they are cute together? Almost?

SARTIA: That was disastrous! And it stinks in here! Ugh! ROMANA: (laughs) I’ve been shut up in worse! (light switch flips several times) SARTIA: Ugh the lights don’t work either! ROMANA: How can a grade nine sociological enclave like this have electric power? It doesn’t fit. (comm beeps) SARTIA: Sartia to Mars Beam, come in please. (silence) (comm beeps) SARTIA: Mars Beam, are you receiving? (silence) (comm beeps) SARTIA: Mars Beam! Ugh, something’s interfering with the signal. ROMANA: Sorry. Heh, but it is incredible to see you!   SARTIA: Yes. Oh my gosh! You! Mana! Here? ROMANA: (giggles) SARTIA: And… you’ve… changed! I’d hardly recognize… I mean… I love your hair. ROMANA: (laughs) It must look awful! SARTIA: No! Did you, um, did you choose it yourself? It’s so silky! Amazing! ROMANA: Hah! Thanks. But… we scare these people. We’re lucky they didn’t hang us out with all the other eels. SARTIA: Sleeks. They call them sleeks, it’s their staple food. They’re more sophisticated than you think. It’s something you have to learn out here, Mana, dealing with other lifeforms. ROMANA: Hmm. Yes. Of course. Thank you. SARTIA: Are you checking up on me? ROMANA: Why? What have you done? You still haven’t told me. SARTIA: Neither have you. ROMANA: Hmm. Who is Funderell‘s Daughter anyway? Can we talk to her? SARTIA: I have nooo idea. Probably some superstitious village crone. Isn’t that right, for this sort of community? (rustling noises) SARTIA: Mana! What are you doing? ROMANA: Ugh! Ug! Uh! ... I’m looking for a way out! Gah! What do you think!? We can’t wait around here for the verdict of an elderly matriarch! Agh! We have to find the Doctor!

Sartia tells Romana that everyone, everyone, who knows her on Gallifrey has been trying to figure out where she vanished to. The oh so perfect Romanadvoratrelundar just vanished out of nowhere one day. Left the Academy! Super out of character. It was quite the thing for her peers to speculate about (also note how Sartia clearly 100,000% believes Romana is a CIA agent and is trying to get her to admit it. It is very easy to see how Romana could have leveraged these rumors later in life in her political career). She is fishing for info, and thinks Romana has essentially been sent by the authorities to capture her and put an end to her plans. Also of note is how Romana does everything for Sartia, while Sartia just sits back and observes, a pattern of behavior that is unquestioned and is clearly familiar to them both.

(Romana is grunting and groaning. We hear someone trying to saw through a fibrous material) ROMANA: Oh, this weed’s tough as anything! SARTIA: Oh, they weave everything from it. Houses, boats, there’s a distinct shortage of anything else. ROMANA: Yeah. Right. SARTIA: Mana, why did you leave the Academy on Gallifrey? (sawing noises stop) ROMANA: What were you told? (sawing starts again, extra fast) SARTIA: No one told us anything! But the rumors… well… you can imagine. ROMANA: (very loud grunt) Come on! Cut through! SARTIA: You’d been expunged for being brighter than your tutor! ROMANA: (chokes laughing) Bathras the Banal? (groans) Wasn’t everyone? SARTIA: Or you’d won the public register lottery? Or…. you were on a secret mission for the CIA? ROMANA: Ha ha. None of the above. SARTIA: You have to say! ROMANA: No, I don’t! What about you? SARTIA: Oh. This is a…. A field trip. For my specialism. ROMANA: Ah! Ancient mysteries, I remember! Incredible that they let you go! SARTIA: It’s what I wanted. ROMANA: So, you know all about Funderell? SARTIA: Oh. Maybe! We’ll have to see. ROMANA: (hisses with pain) (grunts) (groans) We’re through! SARTIA: (sighs) Well done! ROMANA: (laughs) It’s getting dark out there. (is still panting and winded from cutting through the weeds all on her own) There’s no one about. How do we reach your ship? SARTIA: Not yet. ROMANA: But surely… I mean... you’ll have scanners? To find the Doctor? SARTIA: Well, I need one more thing. Something I came for.

Sartia then takes Romana back to the village, where the town’s seer is kept chained up. Chained to a book. Romana identifies the writing in the book as Ancient Gallifreyan, but before either she or Sartia can do anything more (Romana wanted to help free the poor man chained to the book, and Sartia wanted to steal the book) they were found and dragged to Funderell’s Daughter’s hut. Romana figures out who and what Funderell’s Daughter is just before Funderell’s Daughter shows up. Romana is, every step of the way, the one who is figuring out what is going on. Funderell’s daughter is a massive electric eel. She is also the village's god. It is again made clear that despite Sartia being the Gallifreyan equivalent of an archeology major, Romana is waaaaaaaay better at this sort of thing than she is. Whenever Romana displays initiative and does things fully on her own, Sartia gets frustrated, cruel, and insulting. Whenever Romana does what Sartia asks of her and allows Sartia to take credit, Sartia is complementary and loving. As Romana tries to find them a way to escape, Sartia pulls a stasar (a Gallifreyan gun) out and starts shooting. Romana tries to get Sartia to drop the stasar. Sartia, of course, doesn’t care about Romana’s opinion on anything. When Romana yells at her to drop the stasar, Sartia ignores her.

When Romana then questions if Sartia now plans to kill the entire village with her stasar, Sartia treats it like a joke.

It is abundantly clear that Sartia likes to let Romana do things for her. Time after time after time in this audio, Sartia sits back and does nothing while Romana does the actual work for both of them.

It really isn’t hard to imagine how this dynamic played out at Prydon Academy, and why Sartia initiated this friendship with Romana in the first place, despite claiming later in this audio that she always despised her.

Not surprisingly, the villagers swear they will murder both Sartia and Romana when they discover their god’s corpse. When they arrive back at the ship where the Doctor has been this whole time, Romana and the Doctor are both SUPER happy to see each other. This is tempered by the news that Romana is wanted for helping to kill a god. Romana just… kind of keeps defending Sartia, mainly by taking all the blame for her. Meanwhile the Doctor makes it clear that they are willing to protect Romana no matter what she does. They trust her to make good decisions, and will back up her actions.

(doors open with a hummmmmm) DOCTOR: Romana! ROMANA: Doctor! Oh thank goodness! I thought you might be- DOCTOR: And I thought you might be too! It’s an occupational hazard. I’m fine, how about you? ROMANA: Uh, the same, really, except… well… ummmmm SARTIA: You have to shut the hold doors. Now! ORENSKY: Why? Sartia, what’s happened? Trouble? SARTIA: I got her out, didn’t I? Just shut the doors! (doors close with a hum) DOCTOR: Sartia, I’m hugely grateful to you. ROMANA: But… it didn’t, um… quite go as planned? ORENSKY: Meaning what? SARTIA: It seems the village of the Wavewalkers is one of those zooetric divinity cults. ORENSKY: A what? DOCTOR: She means they worship animals. ROMANA: That’s not the same at all, and it’s one animal! They consult it! ORENSKY: They kept that one quiet. DOCTOR: What sort of animal? SARTIA: A giant eel. A sleek. It’s huge! They call it (laughs) Funderell’s Daughter. DOCTOR: Funderell’s Daughter? A bit portentous. I bet they sacrifice to it as well! ORENSKY: Oh, this is good! It’ll be great for the series! Did you get footage? SARTIA: (laughs) You won’t like it! DOCTOR: Why? What happened? ROMANA: They tried to sacrifice us! DOCTOR: Ahhhhhh. ROMANA: It was in the struggle- SARTIA: The sleek got… ROMANA: (sighs) SARTIA: killed. DOCTOR: Romana! You killed their god?!?!?!? ORENSKY: Oh, great. Now we’re really in trouble. ROMANA: It was an accident! The stasar just went off! DOCTOR: The stasar!?!?!?!??! A Gallifreyan stasar?!?! ROMANA: I’m sorry Doctor! It’s my fault! I’m soooooo sorry! DOCTOR: But you don’t own a stasar!!!!!! ...Mr. Orensky, are you recording this? ROMANA: Wh-what? Oh no! Take it away! DOCTOR: Get that camera away from her! ORENSKY: Leave it alone! It’s all good material! DOCTOR: Not in my book it isn’t! Turn it off!!!!

Later, once they can steal away to be alone, the Doctor and Romana check in about everything that happened, away from Sartia’s influence. It is very very clear that the Doctor already know Sartia is full of shit, but the Doctor knows better than to just say that to Romana. After all, if anyone is an expert on toxic relationships with your former Academy classmates, it’s the Doctor. Four just kind of… gently starts steering Romana towards figuring out what Sartia really is for herself.

(door opens) ROMANA: Uh, Doctor, can I have a word? Out here. DOCTOR: Of course. But I don’t want to hear any nonsense about you giving yourself up. (door closes) DOCTOR: Well, go on then. ROMANA: Sartia. Sartiacaradinora. We were in the same year at Prydon Academy. DOCTOR: Ah, well, that explains a lot. But you can’t protect her, you know. ROMANA: She was my best friend! My work partner! DOCTOR: She’s swanning around brandishing a stasar! Romana, you didn’t kill the villager’s god, did you? ROMANA: It was an accident. I’m sorry! DOCTOR: Ahhhh! Oooooh. You realize you just invented diacide? A new deadly sin! Funderell’s Daughter is dead. We can’t change that. And now the locals have to be appeased. ROMANA: I know! But in the village, there was a book! A huge tome! Really old. And they called it… “The Book of Futures.” DOCTOR: What sort of holy text? ROMANA: The illuminated script was in Ancient Gallifreyan! DOCTOR: Ah. What’s it say? ROMANA: Well I didn’t get a chance to find out. DOCTOR: Oh, Romana, you know this planet is off limits! ROMANA: Is it? Who told you that? DOCTOR: I did some research too. And on the entire surface, there is only one village. How could that evolve, eh? ROMANA: Well it couldn’t! Unless… someone… put it here? As a sort of defense? Oh! The Time Lords! DOCTOR: Exactly. Centuries, maybe Millennia ago. The villagers have been here so long they’ve forgotten what they’re guarding. ROMANA: That would explain Sartia’s project. Oh, she’s onto a real winner there!! DOCTOR: Are you sure academic glory is all she’s after?

As soon as they finish talking, the Doctor goes to confront Sartia, away from Romana. Full Circle is just around the corner, and here is a bit of foreshadowing to the Doctor not wanting Romana fight the Time Lords and become a Renegade after she is summoned home in that story.

(knocking on door) SARTIA: Come in, Doctor. DOCTOR: Sartiacaradinora? SARTIA: Yes. DOCTOR: Listen... Do I have to call you that? How ‘bout Nora? That has a nice ring, very Ibsenesque. SARTIA: I prefer Sartia. Are you going to lecture me? DOCTOR: Is that what Romana did? SARTIA: At. Length. (sighs) Who sent you? The Academy? DOCTOR: Good grief! Nooooo. I’ve a few questions, that’s all. SARTIA: Go on then. DOCTOR: Why are you on Funderell? SARTIA: (laughs) You know that! You broke into my private itinerary! DOCTOR: And it wasn’t very helpful. SARTIA: Then we’re both in the dark. Next question? DOCTOR: What have you learned since you arrived? SARTIA: Does the High Council know that you and Mana are here? Sooner or later runaways always get caught! DOCTOR: I’ve done my time! SARTIA: I was talking about Mana. DOCTOR: After you killed the god of the Wavewalkers, Mana was ready to take the blame!!!!! SARTIA: I know. I- uh, (breaths in deep) I’m sorry, I I was… I’m so scared! I tried to save her, really… but that horrible monster came at us, I had to fend it off! Look, I’m not used to all this alien… stuff. And now the whole ship’s in trouble! DOCTOR: Yes. SARTIA: And Mana’s TARDIS is lost too. DOCTOR: Romana’s TARDIS? Did she say that? (Pause) ...Don’t you have a ship of your own? SARTIA: No. No, just an old time ring. (laughs) Almost falling apart. DOCTOR: (still annoyed, but softer) Sartia, go and help Romana. She’s trying to unlock the codes on your stolen Time Lord records. SARTIA: Yes. Sorry. Um. Thank you, Doctor. I’ll see what I can do.

Once they are alone together, Sartia tries to get Romana to cut her ties to the Doctor and commit to being Sartia’s criminal accomplice instead. This attempt takes the form of Sartia, in her position as ~Romana’s best friend~, expressing concern that Romana is with a discharged malfeasance of a former President who is practically a historical figure, and hey - Romana, is he really as unpleasant and horrible to be around as all the stories about him say?

ROMANA: Oh not again! These records are too old, we’ll never access them! SARTIA: (sighs) 41st era… ROMANA: (sighs) There must have been millions of them in the Time Vaults! Why steal these? SARTIA: Well, you know me. Grade One: Access Forbidden tags are such a tease! ROMANA: No, this isn’t working either. (sighs) Apply code five three one. SARTIA: This… doctor of yours. ROMANA: THE Doctor. SARTIA: Oh my gosh! So it really is him? Ex-President? Discharged malfeasant? ROMANA: Well you knew that already. SARTIA: He’s almost historical! Is he really as cranky as they say? ROMANA: (chuckles) That’s only the half of it! Oh no, hang on! If I try… Ahah! This looks more promising. SARTIA: (sighs) Mana, whatever this planet’s hiding, treasure, or power or… ROMANA: (laughs) Let’s not get too excited yet. SARTIA: Oh, come on! It’s… just the two of us, yes? ROMANA: Sartia? SARTIA: Whatever we find, we split it. Forget the others. ROMANA: (laughs uncomfortably) Aren’t we in enough trouble already? SARTIA: BORING! This is our discovery! You’re such a k-type fluz, and when we get off this planet- ROMANA: Hang on. SARTIA: Why, what happened? ROMANA: Sartia, this is it! We’re in! Go and fetch the Doctor! SARTIA: No. Wait. Look! (laughs) Oh my gosh, you’ve done it!

The Doctor, who had earlier told Romana off for always martyring herself, gives himself to the villagers in her place. Romana then yells about how he’s always martyring himself.

Since by this point Romana is obviously not leaving the Doctor and keeps choosing them over Sartia, Sartia drives Romana out as far away from any sort of rescue ship as she can, and dumps her, leaving her to drown. Sartia then circles her vehicle around Romana, mocking Romana for ever thinking Sartia actually was interested in her friendship. With her usefulness to Sartia over, there is no point in either keeping her around or maintaining the charade of caring about her.

ROMANA: What are we doing? SARTIA: Get off. ROMANA: Why? What’s the matter? SARTIA: Get off. ROMANA: (shouts with surprise) (hoverbike engine roars) (sounds of someone moving around on the planet’s surface) ROMANA: What was that for? Let me up! I can’t reach you! SARTIA: (sighs) ROMANA: What’s the matter? Come down! SARTIA: You Mana! Romana. It’s you.     ROMANA: I don’t understand. Let me up! SARTIA: UGH! How we all hated you at Prydon! ROMANA: But… but… that’s silly! You were my best friend! SARTIA: (laughs) I lied! We all lied! You were always tutor’s favorite. ROMANA: That’s not true! SARTIA: UUUUGH! The sickening prize winning perfect girl who had it all! Never got a thing wrong! What chance did you give the rest of us? ROMANA: Sartia! Please! SARTIA: Always getting the attention! So cool and sophisticated and spoiled. Everything landing in your lap. ROMANA: Sartia! Stop it! It’s not funny! We have to help the Doctor! SARTIA: WHO CARES? He’s finished already! He did it for you. ROMANA: No! SARTIA: Poor little Mana, no one will shed a tear over your untimely demise. It’s no loss, you insufferable little (engine roars) ROMANA: SARTIA! Don’t leave me! Not out here! Don’t go! SARTIA: It’s a loooong way, a loooong walk back to the ship! You better get going! If you stop you’ll sink! ROMANA: SARTIA! SARTIA: (laughs) ROMANA: Wait! SARTIA: It’s already up to your boots! ROMANA: (yelps) SARTIA: Goodbye Romana! And good riddance! Forever! ROMANA: Sartia! Sartiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Wait! Don’t leave me! Come back! (heavy sobbing) Sartia! 

Later, in the second part of the story the Doctor expresses, when Romana comes to them about what Sartia did and said, that anyone who would insult Romana’s first incarnation the way Sartia did is clearly just jealous, as the worst thing HE can think to say about her is she left hairbrushes all over the TARDIS.

DOCTOR: Romana, speak to me. ROMANA: It’s Sartia. DOCTOR: Ah. ROMANA: We WERE friends. But I never knew she was so angry with me! Was I really so obnoxious? DOCTOR: Oh… well… (blows air out of his cheeks) a little overconfident perhaps? Self assured and uh… prone to leaving your hairbrushes around the ship. ROMANA: And naïve? DOCTOR: Ahhhhh, anyone can do naïve! Look at me! How else am I so charming? People get jealous, you know. ROMANA: Yes, but I still feel guilty. DOCTOR: Don’t! Don’t. Don’t apologize for Sartia’s failings. They’re her problem, not yours! She’s the least of your worries.  

This makes me think of another audio, Luna Romana, where Romana’s third incarnation is explaining why she misses being her first self:

ROMANA III: You never really appreciate what you have when you’re young. The person you are. The foundations you’re building. I… miss being me. Being my original self. The First Romana. The naïve confidence of youth. Sent on a mission by the president, in the company of a notorious renegade! Only it wasn’t really the president who sent me. And the Doctor? Well, he wasn’t what I expected … The past is precious, because once it’s gone even a Time Lord can’t get it back. Not really. But at least we have the memories…“ (from Luna Romana by Matt Fitton)

Like I can’t! She literally takes one of the things the Doctor thought was one of her flaws, combining it with the thing she thought might be her biggest flaw, and pointing to both of those traits as strengths. Romana’s third incarnation may be a cutthroat nightmare of a backstabbing politican, but like her other incarnations I just love her to pieces.

Romana and the Doctor’s final conversation in the TARDIS at the end of this story is a continuation of this conversation. (It should be noted for full context that when the Doctor found Romana right after the story’s climax, she was trying to divert attention away from her own injuries and over to the damage to the TARDIS instead)

(console room hums) DOCTOR: Call that damage? Peanuts! The TARDIS is flying better than ever. It just needs a little bit of reassembling. That’s all. ROMANA: ….Sartia said I was insufferable. And sickening. DOCTOR: She said that! Peh! What does she know? ROMANA: Spoiled. DOCTOR: Not from where I’m standing! ROMANA: They all hated me at Prydon. DOCTOR: PREJUDICE! That’s their problem! Oooh! Do you see what I did there? Prydon Prejudice! ROMANA: Hmmmm. A literary joke. (this can easily also be heard as “Alliter-ary Joke”) DOCTOR: (laughs) Yes! Yes. Yes! Would they have got that? Of course not! None of them were hand picked to travel with me. How many times have you saved the universe now? ROMANA: I wasn’t counting. DOCTOR: You see! Modesty! That’s what counts in a companion! And ability. ROMANA: Thank you, Doctor. DOCTOR: I couldn’t ask for more. (In a low rumble, and this is Tom Baker we’re talking about here) Eat your heart out, Mr. Darcy. (music swells for a quarter of a minute. The hum of the console room and the music are the only sounds) (End theme plays)

That is without really getting to the story’s main plot at all?

Ok I got waaaaaaaaay too into that one audio, but my point here is was that Romana arrived in the TARDIS without any memory of true friendship or care. In one of the Gallifrey audios she says that her parents always disapproved of everything she did, and in various books she expresses that her tutors always had at best a disengaged interest in her. Of course there is also Brax and his fixation on her, but she can’t remember him at all.

Speaking of Brax, whenever I listen to that audio I also find myself wondering about the memories Braxiatel erased (which is a whole other long Big Finish thing about her past, connected to yet another big thing Big Finish did with her backstory and past). Obviously one can easily read Sartia’s comments about Romana being the ~tutor’s favorite~ as being about Brax (there really is no questioning that Romana is Brax’s very most favorite person in existence other than himself) and Romana’s ignorance on that topic probably really bothered Sartia, who would not know that Romana has no memories of Brax. That said, in the Gallifrey audio Lies Brax also seemed really shocked/uncomfortable when Romana mentioned remembering being bullied at the Academy and being called “Ice Maiden” so I wonder if he… kind of took her memories of that away too? Which I hate, because Romana I as a niave youth who doesn’t quite get that she was bullied in the past all on her own really makes sense to me.

.....right. I can ramble about this forever so I am cutting myself off. Like looking this over I keep thinking of more things I NEED to add (how she will casually drop info about Gallifreyan culture sometimes, like when she and the Doctor were exploring Chronotis’s library in Shada, or how she writes self insert Academy era AU fics about her and the Doctor, or her self hatred, her epic refusal to use a Chameleon Arch to escape the Time War or... or... or...) so I am just going to stop.

[princessnijireiki]

@brehaaorgana I replied on the post!!! I forgot that tumblr like. just does not really actually notify people for that .__.

@gradeaus don't even worry about it at all &ty for the thought!!!! it's totally cool

[mondfahrt]

I am advocating against watching Naruto in German, because believe me, not-German-speaking side of tumblrdotcom, that‘s a shitshow all by itself. And I‘m not saying that the original dub of One Piece isn‘t awesome because it is.

But.

I love the German voice actors, and more importantly: the German intros are banging.

[mikeophone16]

die haben sich leider komplett verfahren in die falsche Ortschaft. Links, Rechts, gradeaus, die kamen da nicht mehr raus.

er wurde von der stunde geschlagen

Ich frag mich was die Richter und Henker dazu zu sagen haben

[reizvolleschaos]

Ich komm erst nach Hause, wenn die andern aus dem Haus gehen

Schlafrhythmus gefickt, ich seh die Sonne immer aufgehen

Babe, ich bin verliebt in deine Art und in dein Aussehen

Kannst du mich nach Haus bring'n? Ich kann kaum noch gradeaus sehen

liebe Makko soooo 🥹🥹🥹

[herzlak]

Hab grad was gesucht und mir meine alten Tatort Reviews durchgelesen und ich bin ja schon echt unfassbar lustig, deswegen hier ein Best Of:

Imagine du kannst nicht mal gradeaus laufen hahah

Und dann wieder aufstehen hahahahah

UND DANN IM TISCH HÄNGEN BLEIBEN

FEMINISMUS IN MY TATORT? MORE LIKE TATORT IN MY FEMINISMUS

Zwei Minuten und Robert verkackt einfach emotional schon wieder auf ganzer Linie

Antikonfliktlotsen digga

Der hat aufm Weg noch ne neue Gardine geshoppt, ne Taube gerupft und bei Fressnapf reingeschaut

Ich finds so toll wie ich am Anfang von jedem Tatort wirklich alle Menschen beschuldige und trotzdem immer falsch lieg

Kurzzeitig dacht ich sogar es wär der Hund-

Das isn Waldarbeiter

Ja Identität eines Waldarbeiters

Lenny der Waldarbeiter

Lenny ist nicht psychisch krank, der ist Waldarbeiter

A Brix on my windowsill <3

Aber Tatort Kommissar*innen sind ja generell fucking invincible

Digga Max und seine Prostata

Heute: Meuchelmord in Hamburg - Falke wird im Auftrag von Grosz von terroristischem Scharfschützen abgeknallt

Imagine du lebst im Hallenbad pfff

Ist das Queerbaiting oder einfach nur Hirnschwurbel?

Du könntest vor ihren Augen nen Welpen erwürgen und sie würd sagen: ohh der war aber labil

Bruder Boernes auf seinem morgendlichen Walk durch Münster

Er kriegt ihn, er kriegt ihn-

Er hat ihn nicht gekriegt.

Ist tackern ne paarbildende Aktivität?

Tatort Prison Break oder so

Yallah neue Schuhe, guckst du Bruder, flex flex

Ganz schöner Auflauf hier. War das Opfer Koch?

Alles, was ich in Pawlaks Augen seh, is ne Depression

Warum macht die wütende Chilischote jetzt Gymnastik???

UDO BITTE HALT DEIN MAUL, ICH KANN NICHT MEHR

"Neidisch oder erotisiert?" "Erschüttert." The three stages of watching Tatort

[baebygirll]

Ich komm erst nach Hause, wenn die andern aus dem Haus gehen Schlafrhythmus gefickt, ich seh die Sonne immer aufgehen Babe, ich bin verliebt in deine Art und in dein Aussehen

Kannst du mich nach Haus bring'n? Ich kann kaum noch gradeaus sehen

@bi-dragon-152