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howtosingit · 4 years ago

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Fic: Ice in My Veins, Fire in My Heart

An unexpected, once-in-a-lifetime ice storm in Austin leads to a chaotic day for Carlos and the 126.

Written for @911giftexchange | For @charlie-bradburyss

6K | Also on AO3

A/N: Happy Holidays, Holly! I hope this fulfills all of your “tarlos + fire fam/found family + hurt/comfort (emphasis on the hurt)” wishes. May the New Year bring you all the love and light that you deserve!

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

The thing is, no one’s really expecting Austin to be pummeled by a once-in-a-lifetime freak ice storm.

Though rare, it’s not unheard of for the Texas panhandle to get hit by the southern tip of major storm systems that move across the Midwest, but Austin is typically too far south to really experience that kind of intense winter weather. Sometimes, they’ll have icy nights that lead to dangerous morning commutes, but that’s mostly because the majority of Austinites aren’t experienced with driving on ice-covered roads. There’s always a surplus of vehicular accidents to respond to on those mornings.

But, this is way more than that.

When TK first looks out the kitchen window, he has to do a double-take to confirm what he’s seeing, his coffee burning the back of his throat as he swallows quickly in shock. Every single inch of the world outside is covered in a shimmering layer of ice - every tree branch and leaf, every fence post and door handle; individual blades of grass find themselves trapped inside a shell of frozen water, and the back patio has turned into a miniature ice skating rink, complete with furniture coated in long, thin icicles.

He takes a moment to admire the ethereal beauty of a rare, wintery Austin, how the early morning sunlight dances across the rooftops of the neighboring houses. Then, realizing what all this ice is going to mean for the rest of his day, he glances down at his watch, cursing when he realizes what time it is.

“Babe!” he calls, grabbing two thermoses from the cupboard. He transfers his coffee into one, then fills the other. “Move faster, we’ve gotta get to work!” He quickly preps Carlos’s coffee the way he knows he likes it, then grabs a few protein bars for each of them to eat on the way to work. “Babe!” he calls again when he doesn’t hear anything from the bedroom.

“What the hell are you yelling for, TK? We still have an hour before our shifts,” Carlos gripes as he comes around the corner, uniform already on and shoes in hand. He gives TK a look of mild annoyance, his signature sass on display, and TK honestly adores him even if he is being obtuse at the moment.

Instead of answering, TK just points out the window, watching as Carlos takes in the icy spectacle, his eyes widening as his jaw drops. “Wow,” his husband breathes out, clearly in awe. Then, having the same realization that TK did, he glances down at his own watch. “Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah, I thought you might say that,” TK laughs, moving towards the hall closet to grab their coats. He reaches towards the back, finding the ice scraper that Carlos kind of made fun of him for buying a few years ago.

“You made me coffee?” Carlos asks when he reappears, holding his green thermos.

“Of course I did.”

“Have I mentioned that I really love you?” his husband questions, pulling on his coat.

“If this is your way of apologizing for getting sassy with me, I’m going to need you to work a little harder, babe,” TK jokes, sliding up next to him and raising his chin. Carlos rolls his eyes, a smile pulling at his lips as he ducks down to press their mouths together in a gentle kiss.

“How about I give you a ride to work?” Carlos suggests, still close enough that his lips drag against TK’s as he speaks.

“That’s a very sweet offer,” TK says, staring into his husband’s twinkling brown eyes, “but you were going to do that anyway.” Carlos’s police cruiser drives better on ice, so he always drives TK to work if there are hazardous conditions. “Try again.”

“How about,” Carlos starts, his voice going deeper as he trails his lips along TK’s jaw and up to his ear, “I drive you to work now, and then when we get home later, I run you a bath to help warm you up?”

TK hums, his heart rate picking up. “Make it a bath for two, and I’ll consider all of your indiscretions forgiven.”

Carlos huffs out a laugh, moving to press another kiss to his lips. “You are quite the negotiator,” he says, stepping away and grabbing two protein bars off the counter. “I accept your terms.”

The drive to work takes twice as long as usual, Carlos driving as carefully as possible through Austin towards the fire station. The roads seem somewhat deserted, and TK wonders if most people got stuck in their driveways before they could get far enough to cause mayhem in the streets. For the most part, the ice seems to be sticking around longer than it usually does. Carlos pulls to a stop outside Ladder 126.

“See you later?” TK asks, leaning over the console to give him another kiss.

“Probably sooner than that, I’d guess,” Carlos says, knocking their foreheads together gently, the way he always does when they’re saying goodbye at the start of a workday. TK smiles, reaching for the door and climbing out onto the slick pavement. “Be careful out there.”

“You too, officer,” TK responds, giving him a wink before closing the door. He turns, heading into the station to being what will no doubt be a non-stop day.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

Carlos is right.

Almost immediately after his husband texts him that he made it safely to the police station, they’re called out to an accident on Lakewood Drive. When they arrive, TK spots Carlos in the distance, directing cars to use an alternate route.

A large semi-truck takes up the middle of the bridge, the trailer sitting nearly perpendicular to the tractor section. It still seems to be standing upright, so TK doesn’t immediately understand what accident they’re responding to.

“Officer,” his dad calls when Carlos spots them and starts moving their way, careful on the patches of ice that still remain on the bridge. “What’ve we got here?”

“Semi swerved a bit on the ice into the lane of oncoming traffic. Passenger car coming from the north then swerved to avoid it, completely lost control on the ice, and hit the guardrail on the passenger side,” Carlos reports, pointing in the direction of a mangled section of the barrier. “Car flipped and slid down the embankment.”

“How many passengers?” his dad clarifies, and TK can tell the way he tenses, his brain already working on a plan of action.

“Just the driver, an adult woman,” Carlos answers, his breath visible in the cold morning air. “My partner made it down to her and she’s responsive, but definitely stuck.”

“Okay,” Owen says, turning to face his team, jaw tight. “Jaws of life, everyone down. Medical will be here in a minute, let’s try to have her out for them.”

There’s a near-collective nod from all of them, but before they can move, they hear a crash in the distance. Turning, TK watches as the line of traffic becomes a danger zone of its own when an approaching car is unable to stop before it runs into the car ahead of it. Like, dominoes, the line begins to splay, cars trying to move to avoid being hit.

“Damn,” his dad sighs, shaking his head. “Change of plan. Ryder, Strickland, Strand-Reyes, you’re down with the jaws of life. Marwani and Chavez, let’s see if we can keep things from getting worse up here.”

TK follows Judd and Paul to the truck, grabbing everything that they might need. As they head towards the damaged guardrail, he passes close to Carlos, nudging him in the side.

“Have I ever told you how much I love to watch you work?” he says, giving his husband a wink as he moves past him. Carlos follows after him, laughing softly.

“TK, for God’s sake, will you stop flirting with your husband for one day,” Judd cries, and TK looks over to find him smiling at him, his eyes dancing with mirth.

“Now, come on, Judd,” Paul adds, his tone teasing. “They’re just being newlyweds.”

“Newlyweds?” Judd scoffs, rolling his eyes. “They’ve been married for two years!”

“Oh, wait, you’re right,” Paul says exaggeratedly, like he’s just remembered. He turns back to TK and Carlos, now walking side-by-side, his face morphing into a look of disgust. “Stop being so in-love, it’s getting weird now.”

TK huffs out a fake laugh, his breath swirling through the air as he sticks his tongue out at his friends. They reach the top of the embankment, looking down at the wreckage. The car still seems to be pretty intact, so TK is hoping this won’t be too bad. He feels a solid hand on his back, turning to find Carlos looking at him, his face serious.

“Don’t do anything reckless down there, or I will arrest you,” he jokes, beginning to walk away.

“On what grounds?” TK gasps, his jaw dropping.

Carlos pauses, his eyebrows furrowing as he thinks about it. “Trying to give me a heart attack before I’m 35,” he finally decides, shooting TK a wink before leaving them to go help with the traffic pile-up.

It’s slow-going, but TK, Paul, and Judd finally make it down the hill to the overturned car. Paul moves over to the window, speaking to the woman, while TK and Judd set down their bags. From what he can see, it looks like it’ll be a pretty straightforward removal.

They’re just prying the door open when his dad radios that medical has arrived. TK moves back to one of his bags over by the bridge, looking for more gauze to press to their patient’s shallow head wound, when there’s a loud crack to the right. He looks over, watching as a somewhat large icicle drops from the bridge and shatters onto the frozen creek below. Looking up, he watches another icicle detach itself and rapidly fall to the ground.

“Shit,” he says, jerking to the side to avoid another one. He feels his feet slide out from under him, unable to gain traction on the ice, and before he knows it, he’s falling flat on his back, his head slamming hard against the solid ground beneath him.

His vision swims, pain coursing through him. His stomach turns, and he feels like he’s going to be sick. He closes his eyes, trying to breath. He thinks he hears a voice in the distance, maybe Paul or Judd calling to him, but he can’t make it out. There’s another loud crack from above, and he opens his eyes just in time to watch a rather large icicle grow larger as it flies towards him.

Pain bursts from his abdomen as he lets out a gasp, his vision swimming once more as his body tries to handle all of the trauma it’s currently experiencing. He clenches his jaw tightly, refusing to let out a yell. He can handle this, he’s done pain before. Between a gunshot and falling through the floor of a house and then falling off the roof of a house just last year, he can handle this. It’s no big deal, so he’s not going to make it one.

He lifts his head, blinking to clear his vision. There are voices around him, fuzzy shapes moving in his peripherals, coming closer. He ignores them, instead looking down towards his stomach. The sight causes him to gasp again, the pain coming back full force now that he has eyes on the source.

There’s an icicle buried inside of his abdomen.

From what he can see, it looks to be as round as his fist and about two feet long, the top of it gleaming threateningly in the sunlight, almost as if it’s proud of itself for the damage it’s just done.

“Fuck,” TK moans, lowering his head as Paul and Judd finally reach his side. He still can’t hear what they’re saying, so he just looks up at the clear blue sky instead. A thought pops into his head, almost making him laugh.

Carlos is totally going to kill him for this.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

Sometimes, Carlos really hates living in Texas.

Well, that’s an oversimplification. It’s more that he hates the kind of stereotypical attitude that many straight men from Texas possess. The kind of “I’m built Texas tough” mentality that leads to reckless, dangerous, and truly annoying behavior. The kind of attitude that causes a fully-grown man responsible for a six-car pile-up to scream in his father-in-law’s face about how stupid and moronic everyone else is, including the firefighters currently fixing the mess he’s made, forcing Carlos to handcuff him and stick him in the back of his cruiser just so that they can all get a moment of peace.

“Did you see the size of that vein in his neck?” Mateo asks as they move from car to car, making sure that everyone’s okay. “I thought he was going to collapse or something, his face was so red.”

“TK’s gonna be so upset that he missed you wrestling him to the ground,” Marjan pipes in from his other side, elbowing him in the ribs. Carlos just rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

“You know that’s not a turn-on for him, right?”

Marjan scoffs. “Sure, okay, I definitely believe that.”

Captain Strand approaches the three of them, effectively ending the conversation. “No one’s injured in those three cars, so I told them all to sit tight until the tow truck gets here. We may be able to help them once we’ve got the driver down there stabilized.” They all nod in agreement. “Marjan, Mateo, why don’t you keep making the rounds, keep people from trying to get out of their cars. We don’t need any unexpected accidents or falls.” The two firefighters accept their orders, moving away. “You’ve got someone directing traffic further down the road?” Owen asks Carlos.

“Yeah, at Lakewood and Carpenter,” Carlos says, pointing in that direction. “We shouldn’t have any traffic through here from now on.”

Before Owen can respond, they hear a sound from the bridge. They both turn to see the ambulance arrive and begin to walk towards it, eager to fill Michelle and her team in on what’s happening. At his side, Owen radios to his team that medical has arrived and will be down soon.

They’ve just made it onto the bridge, Michelle already making her way towards them, when they hear a shout from down below. They both freeze, trying to listen, but then can’t make out the words. Then, Owen’s radio crackles to life, Judd’s voice coming through, his words rushed.

“We need medical down here ASAP, I’ve got a firefighter down.”

Carlos feels the blood rush from his face, his heart slamming into his ribcage. He shares a look with his father-in-law, and it’s clear that they both know who Judd’s talking about.

“Talk to me, Judd. What’s going on?” Owen says, already heading to the edge of the bridge, Carlos following right behind him.

He stops short when his eyes land on the scene below. He doesn’t even need Judd's report to confirm what he’s seeing. At the bottom of the embankment, almost under the bridge itself, he sees TK laying on the ground, unmoving, a giant shard of ice sticking out of his midsection.

He doesn’t even think before he takes off down the slope, moving as quickly as he can without falling.

“TK!” he shouts, not even sure if the other man can hear him. He finally gets to the bottom, rushing over to his side. “TK!”

Paul moves aside, allowing him to kneel down by his head. He takes his face gently in his hands, watching as TK’s eyes blink dazily, his pupils unfocused and his mouth slack.

“Nobody jostle him,” Michelle yells, and Carlos looks up to find her and her team closing in. “We don’t want that thing to shift an inch. Paul, hold it steady for me if you can.”

Carlos stares down at the two-foot icicle currently buried in his husband’s gut. Every time TK breathes, it pulses, almost threatening to fall over. Paul reaches out and wraps his hands around the top, keeping it vertical.

“What happened?” Michelle asks, kneeling on TK’s other side as she assesses the situation.

“He slipped on the ice and fell, then the icicle came down on him before he could move out of the way,” Judd explains.

“He might have a concussion from the fall,” Michelle mutters, moving to shine a light in TK’s drooping eyes. “Seems likely. Rosewater, take over for Paul, Gillian, see if you can stabilize our patient in the car over there. Carlos,” she says, and his eyes snap up to look at her. “I need you to talk to him okay, try to keep him awake and responding. He could go into shock at any minute, and that’s not going to help us.”

He nods, ducking down to press his face closer to the one that he gets to wake up to every day. “Hey, baby,” he says softly, stroking TK’s forehead. “Hey, it’s me. Can you open your eyes for me? Just open your eyes for a minute, okay?”

TK moans, his eyes blinking rapidly a few times before he opens them enough for Carlos to see those green irises that he loves so much. “Carlos?” he mumbles.

“Yeah, hey, it’s me, I’m right here,” Carlos says, his voice a little unsteady as he tries to stay calm. “How are you feeling?”

“Cold,” TK mutters, his breath creating wisps of steam in the air above him.

“Any pain?” Carlos asks, his eyes shifting down to glare at the icicle for a moment.

“My head hurts,” TK admits, letting out a small gasp.

“Anywhere else?”

TK shakes his head, his eyes darting everywhere.

“That’s probably the adrenaline,” Michelle interjects. She stands up, surveying the bridge above them. “I’m worried his body heat’s going to start melting that icicle faster than we want it to. We’ve gotta get him up there.”

“I don’t think we can get him up the slope without jostling him too much, there’s too much ice,” Tim says.

Michelle turns to Owen, her face grave. “Get the ladder ready, Captain, we’re gonna have to lift him.”

With only a quick, wide-eyed glance down at his son, Owen shoots back up the hill, Judd following him. Off to the side, Carlos sees that Paul and Nancy have managed to remove the driver from the vehicle.

“Carlos?” TK says, and he quickly looks back down at his husband, running his thumbs along his cheek.

“Yeah, Ty, I’m right here,” Carlos assures him, his bottom lip wavering.

“I’m a little scared,” TK admits, his eyes glassy as he stares up at him. “It looks pretty bad, doesn’t it?”

“You’re gonna be okay, cariño,” he says, his voice hard and clear.

“You look scared,” TK tells him, raising a hand to touch Carlos’s mouth.

“I’m not scared, I promise,” Carlos lies, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead. “I’m never scared when I’m with you.”

TK doesn’t respond. He just stares up at Carlos, eyes still unfocused, a wide smile taking over his face.

Minutes later, the team loads TK up on a stretcher with no major problems, and for one shining moment, Carlos thinks everything’s going to be fine.

He climbs up the embankment as fast as he can to meet him at the top, Michelle at his side. She’s telling him that she’s called for another medical team to come for the driver, who thankfully doesn’t appear to be in critical condition, when they hear a shout from Tim.

“Damn it,” Michelle says, running towards where TK’s stretcher is now laying on the pavement. Carlos follows, his heart back in his throat, and the sight that greets them nearly causes him to collapse.

“Tim, apply as much pressure as you can,” Michelle says, throwing her hands on TK’s abdomen, blood rushing from where the icicle has shifted. “We have to get him in the van, we’ll have a better chance of stabilizing him there.”

Carlos watches as TK’s head lists to the side, his eyes dropping closed.

“He’s crashing, let’s move people!” Michelle shouts.

There’s a mad rush all around him, but Carlos barely comprehends it. All he can do is stare at his husband, his unmoving body, the blood draining from his face while simultaneously gushing from the wound in his stomach.

He doesn’t feel the way his knees hit the pavement, or Marjan’s arms around him. He doesn’t feel the tears falling on his cheeks, or the way he starts to shake. He doesn’t even feel the cold, unfamiliar Austin air.

As TK is pulled away from him, he doesn’t feel anything at all.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

TK wakes up in the hospital.

At this point, it all feels very familiar. Every hospital room seems to smell the same, sterile and uninviting. The sheets are scratchy, which coordinates nicely with the scratchy hospital gown they have him wearing. He can hear the gentle beeping from the monitor next to him, and feel the pinch of an IV in his left arm.

TK opens his eyes slowly, staring up at the ceiling as he assesses his current state. The lights are low, but it still takes him a minute to adjust, his head faintly throbbing. He recalls how much his head hurt on the scene, how his vision went blurry, and assumes he got a concussion from his fall.

He shifts slightly, gasping as the movement pulls at his midsection and an intense pain radiates throughout his entire body. The sound causes a weight against his right arm to shift, and he looks down, his eyes immediately softening at the sight before him.

Carlos is seated next to the bed, his body bent so that he can rest his head against TK’s arm, which he’s also gripping with one of his hands. His other hand is awkwardly linked with TK’s own, their fingers threaded tightly together. Carlos’s face is turned towards him, his eyes closed as he rests. TK notices how puffy his eyes are, and how his skin is more pale than usual. His heart sinks in his chest, an intense guilt masking his own pain as he stares down at the man he loves more than anything.

Before he can even think about how much pain it might cause, he lifts his left arm across his body to run his fingers through Carlos’s dark brown curls. It’s his favorite thing to do on the rare occasions where he’s the first one to wake up in the morning, and he knows his husband absolutely loves it. Sure enough, Carlos lets out a soft moan, unconsciously tilting his head towards TK’s fingers.

He can tell the minute that Carlos realizes what’s happening by the way his whole body tenses. His eyes fly open, his brown eyes wide as he sits up straight. His gaze finds TK, drinking him in, and TK can’t do anything but smile back at him, squeezing their hands together.

“Ty,” Carlos breathes, his eyes filling with tears.

“Hey, baby,” TK says, pulling gently on Carlos’s hand until he gets the hint.

His husband stands, shifting closer to the head of the bed, before bending down to press a soft kiss to his waiting lips. Carlos tries to make the kiss quick, but TK reaches up to grip the back of his neck, keeping him close.

“How long has it been?” TK asks when they separate, rubbing their noses together. At this point, it’s their traditional question when one of them is in the hospital.

“They rushed you to surgery when you first got here, which took about four hours,” Carlos explains, his voice shaking as he runs his fingers soothingly through TK’s hair. “You’ve been sleeping for about five.”

“So, still the same day?” TK confirms. It’s an odd question, but after going through one multi-day coma in his life, he’s hoping to never have to do another. Besides, he knows Carlos wouldn’t handle it well.

“Still the same day,” his husband confirms, the first sign of a smile pulling at his lips.

“That’s good.”

“Very good,” Carlos agrees, leaning in to kiss him. This one feels a little more heated than the last one. “You know how I get when I don’t get to kiss you goodnight.”

“You become the equivalent of a child who’s told he can’t have ice cream right before bed,” TK supplies, enjoying the shocked look that appears on Carlos’s face. “Or so I’m told.”

“Told?” Carlos cries. “Who told you that? Give me the traitors’ names, Tyler!”

“Just for that, I’m not going to,” he laughs, gasping for air when the movement sends a flare of pain through him.

“Are you okay?” Carlos asks, worry written clearly on his face. He reaches out, his hands fluttering around him but too afraid to touch.

“Yeah, I just,” TK grits out, holding his side. “Fuck, that does not feel good.”

It takes a few minutes of deep breathing for him to finally settle back down, reaching for Carlos’s hand when he’s sure that his grip won’t break his fingers. Carlos gingerly takes a seat next to him on the bed, running his free hand through his hair to soothe him.

TK’s just about to ask exactly what the damage is when there’s a knock on the door. They both turn to find his dad poking his head through, an apologetic smile on his face.

“Hey boys, sorry to interrupt,” he says, glancing behind him at something they can’t see. “There’s just some people here who wanted to say a quick hello.”

TK rolls his eyes, sharing a smile with Carlos. This happens every time someone from the firehouse ends up in the hospital - though to be fair, it’s usually him.

“You know you can always let them in, Dad,” he says, his fondness clear in his tone. Carlos just scoots a little closer, pressing one last kiss to his lips.

“I love you,” he mutters, his eyes shining.

“I love you, too,” TK whispers back as the door is thrown wide open and the equivalent of a clown car files into his room.

Judd and Grace lead the way, followed by Paul, Marjan, and Mateo, then Michelle, Tim, and Nancy. His dad, the last one, closes the door behind him. Strictly speaking, this is way too many visitors to have in a single room at a time, but there are nurses at every hospital who are willing to bend the rules a bit for familiar first responders, as long as they’re discreet about it.

TK looks around at them all - Grace, with her hand on Carlos’s shoulder, and Michelle at the foot of his bed, her eyes glinting with happiness; his dad standing next to her; Mateo, Marjan, and Paul all standing to his left, Paul reaching out to punch him lightly on the shoulder, a bright smile on his face.

They’re his family, all of them. And they all saved his life today.

“I, um,” he starts, his voice thick with emotion as he looks around at them all. He feels Carlos’s hand slide up his arm, his thumb gently caressing his bicep in support. He turns to look at him, noticing how Carlos still has his back to most of the room as he faces him on the bed. They share a look, just between the two of them, and Carlos nods, a tear falling down his cheek as he squeezes TK’s arm.

“I, um, I wanted to thank you all,” TK says, looking around the room again, his eyes hovering over every face that makes him feel safe and loved and whole, “for saving me today. I - we - will never be able to tell you how much it means to know that we have all of you by our side, looking out for us.”

He feels a tear fall onto his cheek, but before he can reach up to brush it away, Michelle shifts from the end of his bed, coming around the side to stand next to him. She reaches out for him and Carlos, drying his face and gripping his husband’s arm tightly.

“Don’t be silly. You boys are our family,” Michelle says, “so we’re always going to be here for you. No matter what. It’s as simple as that.”

“She’s right,” Judd pipes in, his arm around Grace. “Though, full disclosure, we are gifting you a bulk-size roll of bubble wrap this Christmas.”

“Hey now, c’mon Judd,” Paul says, his hands buried in his pockets. “You weren’t supposed to tell him.”

“Ignore Judd, y’all,” Grace adds, rolling her eyes as she pats her husband’s chest. “He doesn’t do Christmas shopping, and I have much better taste, trust me on that.”

TK huffs out a laugh, wincing at the way it pulls at his injury. No one else catches it, too busy laughing at Grace’s comment and Judd’s offended expression. He glances over at Carlos, seeing a tightness behind his eyes, and knows that his pain didn’t go completely unnoticed. TK reaches over, squeezing his thigh where it’s pressed against his own. Carlos gives him a small smile, grabbing his hand to press a kiss to his fingertips.

The tightness in his eyes doesn’t go anywhere, though, and TK’s heart caves.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

The team stays until visiting hours are over, laughing and joking as they fill TK and Carlos in about the rest of the work day. It seems that much of the ice started to melt by the middle of the afternoon, making the end of the day much easier than the beginning. Finally, a nurse comes in, shocked to find so many people in one room, and tells them that visiting hours are over. One-by-one, they come over to hug TK and Carlos, Grace even pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads.

When only Carlos and his dad remain, the nurse checks his vitals, telling him that everything appears to be normal. Carlos stands by his side, hand on his shoulder, as TK honestly answers her questions about his pain levels. She helps him to adjust his position on the bed, showing Carlos how to help him so he’ll feel the least amount of pain. His husband listens closely, his face set and serious.

She leaves, and Carlos excuses himself to the bathroom, leaving him alone with his dad.

“How’re you feeling, kid?” his dad asks, sitting next to him.

“A little tender,” he admits, running his hand lightly over the thick bandage on his stomach. They’re quiet for a moment, TK biting his bottom lip. “It was pretty bad, wasn’t it?” he finally asks.

His dad looks at him, his eyes softening, before reaching out and taking his hand. “You crashed right before they got you in the ambulance. The icicle hit a pretty major blood vessel near your liver, and you lost a lot of blood when it shifted unexpectedly.”

TK is quiet, thoughts rolling through his mind. “He saw, didn’t he?” he confirms, his voice barely more than a hushed whisper.

“Yeah,” his dad admits, his tone heavy. “He wasn’t in a good place when you left, so his partner drove him here and Michelle stayed with him until I could come.” TK nods, his eyes filling with tears. “He’s gonna be okay, though, TK. You both are.”

His dad stands again, looking around the room. “I’m going to head home,” he says, reaching out to run his fingers through TK’s hair. “I know you’re in good hands for the night. I’ll come back first thing in the morning, okay?”

“Yeah,” TK says. Then, he gets an idea. “Can you help me shift a little?”

His dad smiles knowingly before reaching out again to help move him to the left side of the bed, TK breathing deeply through the pain.

Carlos finally comes out of the bathroom and his dad gives them both a hug, TK watching as he whispers something in his husband’s ear before pressing a kiss to his temple. Then, with a final wave, they’re alone again.

“Hey,” TK says, breaking the silence.

“Hey,” Carlos parrots back, his voice thin and uneven.

“Come here,” TK says, patting the now open space beside him. Carlos moves across the room, glancing down at the spot doubtfully.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Ty,” he says, his eyes full of so much pain.

“Well, I don’t want to go another minute without you laying by my side, so get your ass up here.” The hard tone of his voice leaves no room for questions, so his husband sighs, sliding next to him as gently as possible.

They lay there for a moment, just breathing together. Then, like a dam breaking, Carlos turns onto his side, placing an arm over his chest as he tucks his face into TK’s neck. In no time at all, TK feels tears soaking the collar of his gown, and his own tears finally fall at the evidence of Carlos’s silent pain.

“I’m so sorry for scaring you today, baby,” he sobs, bringing his hand up to press against the dark curls near his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

Carlos doesn’t respond except to shake his head, his sobs continuing. TK holds him through it, his heart shattering into a million pieces in his chest. Throughout the past four year, Carlos has had a few nightmares of TK bleeding out in front of him - caused by him getting shot before they even started dating - so he knows that today had to be especially brutal for his husband.

“I know it was an accident, and that you’re going to be okay now,” Carlos finally mumbles into his neck, “but I was so fucking scared that I had lost you there for a minute. I’ve never seen Michelle so intense before, and I really thought this was it.”

“I know, baby, I know,” TK says, trailing his fingers along the back of Carlos’s neck. He digs his nails in just a bit, knowing that the feeling will help ground Carlos. Sure enough, his husband shivers against him, letting out a shaky breath. “You didn’t lose me, though. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“You promise?” Carlos asks weakly.

“Babe, look at me,” TK says, pulling his head back to look down at him. Carlos’s eyes are red-rimmed, his face puffy from crying so much today. He looks so small, so cut open and raw, that TK wishes he could take all of his pain away. “I promise that I am going to do everything in my power to come home to you in one piece at the end of every day, okay?”

Carlos nods, his eyes falling closed. TK stares at his long, gorgeous eyelashes now soaked with tears. Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to each eyelid, feeling the way that Carlos relaxes further into his side.

“I’m sorry that our bath plans got ruined for this evening,” he says after a few minutes, recalling their conversation from this morning.

“That’s okay,” Carlos says, his fingers lightly tracing TK’s collarbone through his hospital gown. “Once I get you home, I’m probably never going to let you leave again, so there will be plenty of time for baths.”

TK laughs, ignoring the pain when Carlos joins him. “I like the sound of that,” he admits.

Their gazes lock for a moment before Carlos presses up until their lips meet, the kiss igniting a fire inside of him from head to toe. It doesn’t matter how many times he gets to kiss Carlos, TK thinks that each one feels new and different and life-affirming, his body and soul practically singing at the chance to connect with his husband in a way that no one else can. That no one else ever will.

It’s something that he knows he’ll never get tired of for as long as he lives.

Which will be a very, very long time.

He’s sure of it.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

#911giftexchange #tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #I wrote a thing #charlie-bradburyss

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thecandywrites · 3 years ago

Text

Jewel Of The North Chapter 12

Woo, I know it’s been a hot minute. But I gotta show Doug and Alorna getting their comupance because JUSTICE and REVENGE. Also, I wanted to send our little blended family on a cruise. Not just any cruise, but a Disney Cruise. Have I have been on a Disney Cruise? No. Do I want to? Yes. Did I watch three and a half hours worth of cruise videos talking about the Disney cruise ships and clubs and concierge level stuff for research? Yes. Is it crazy stupid expensive? Yes. Is this an escape fantasy from The Plague I’m living in? Yes. Also because this is a fantasy story. I’m smudging reality. Becuase those pictures are from the Disney Dream, but last I knew it was the Disney Wonder that was in Alaska. But can I leave things there? No. Because I’m a Dramatic Bitch. And I live for the drama. And yes this has been sitting in my drafts for...way too long. But a few more bumps in the road, some hurdles AND THEN happily ever after. We are getting there.

Jewel Of The North

Chapter 12

Noah’s jaw was on the floor when you came out of the bathroom in the “infamous” gold dress as Noah wolf whistled.

“Wow. That’s the gold dress eh?” Noah asked as he openly gawked at your body in it.

“Yep. It’s the “gold maneater”. Every time my kids see me in it before now, they’ve always complained, because both already have to deal with enough of the “your mom’s a MILF” comments as it is and they think it's too risque for a woman my age. I actually got this dress as a dare from Tasha who said I need a “back on the market and on the menu” dress. Blossom calls it my “get dicked down dress”.” You laughed as you struck a few poses for him as Noah had a hard time forming a coherent sentence and simply made a string of half word-like sounds along the lines of ‘yeah’ ‘mmhmm’ of agreement as he simply settled for gestures of approval and agreement cause his words were failing him.

“Yeah..that’s...that’s exactly what’s going to happen.” Noah reassured you which made you laugh even harder.

“Oh I know. It’s the last night of the cruise, I wanted to go out with a bang.” You shrugged as you slipped your shawl on.

“Ready?” You asked him.

“I uh, I’ll need…” Noah tried to hint as he tried to adjust the bulge in his pants, it had only been hours since you had sex shortly after lunch, but he couldn’t help his reaction to you and he doubted he ever would get used to you or stop reacting to you like this.

“A moment?” You guessed as you beamed smugly, happy to elicit such a reaction from him, even after you thought he would be sated, at least for a few hours but you would be lying if you claimed you didn’t want Noah to try to rip this dress off of you and ravish you- preferably after dinner because you had worked up an appetite.

Being married to your former husband, Andrew, he was ok in bed. But he wasn’t necessarily “sexy” to you, at least in looks. He meant safety, security, stability and comfort for you when you met him and married him but eventually, the spark left, the more narcissistic traits you saw and experienced and the more of an ‘asshole’ he acted and the less natural chemistry you had. He didn’t always know how to get your engine revving and keep it revving. Mentally or emotionally which eventually bled into physically.

But Noah? Oh, all you had to do was think about him and your whole body was humming and buzzing with delight, anticipation and- what you had thought was your long past dead sex drive- which thanks to the awakening it received from Noah, was very much alive and well and practically insatiable with Noah and even though you were losing count of how many times you had had sex, or made love in all of it’s forms, you hungered for more. And with just a look, a touch, or gesture, or especially warm, wonderful words and deeds from Noah and it was all over for you. He was...everything you had ever wanted or needed and you were so grateful you had waited for him because he had been worth the wait and definitely worth all the effort and he made all the bad times and obstacles and trials and tribulations up to this point- worth it and was the last piece of the puzzle and completed everything and you couldn’t wait for him to fully join and complete your family.

Once Noah “recovered” enough, you went to dinner and if Noah had thought you garnered a lot of attention in the red dress, it was nothing compared to the attention you received in the gold dress. He never heard so many ‘god damn’s’ or ‘wow’s’ or even ‘holy fucking shit’s’ from guys and even other women when you strut past, with your arm happily hooked in the crook of Noah’s elbow.

You were happy that his own gold tie matched your dress flawlessly so that it was clearly evident that you were a couple and one hell of an attractive one and you couldn’t help but notice how the women who weren’t looking at you, were staring in awe at Noah. And while you, understandably, weren’t necessarily one of the jealous types, it filled you with pride to be on his arm to show him off, cleaned up and looking like a million bucks himself and you felt so lucky to be with him.

Even after dinner, when you went to one of the “clubs” on board, it was wonderful when Noah danced with you. Andy didn’t dance and hated to dance with you even though you loved to do so and would begrudgingly dance with you at weddings, only when you begged and pleaded for him to.

Noah though? The man, thank the gods, had rhythm, and could keep up with you on the dance floor and the two of you danced really well and the chemistry you had in the bedroom spilled out everywhere else. You were so focused on grinding on Noah with his hands possessively on your hips and riding the hypnotic beats from the music to notice how Doug stared in disbelief as he watched from a safe distance while Alorna was in the restroom and felt jealousy eat him alive, that could have been him. He could have been the one to dance with the hot millionaire MILF. What did Noah honestly have that he didn’t? Was it because he was an ice orc instead of a “traditional” green one? Or was it the plane? Probably the plane.

When Alorna came back she scuffed in disgust to see you and Noah on the dancefloor cutting it up, like you were in your own little worlds as she watched how all the guys who had been staring in desire at her, were now staring at you, their jaws on the floor and their hard ons tenting their pants.

“Come on Baby, lets go back to the casino, let her have this little tiny club, I’m feeling lucky tonight.” Doug insisted to get Alorna out of there before she started a fight because he could see the fire in her eyes that she wanted to start one.

“So do I.” Alorna cooed as they strut out of there and went back to the casino and in the beginning they were winning back all their previous losses, but just like any casino, the longer they played, the more they lost until they lost even more than what they had previously won and then some.

But all of that was a world away from you and Noah.

You barely made it back to the room before Noah hiked your dress up, pulled your breasts out, moved your slimming panties to the side and fucked you into the back of the door of your room while sucking on your tits as you moaned and keened in ecstasy, to the point no one could pass by the hallway without knowing exactly what you were up to inside the room and by the time you made it to the bed, your dress was ripped, Noah’s buttons on his shirt had popped off and the room looked like a hurricane had torn through it and Noah and yourself slept like the dead, having worn each other out half the night.

In the morning, you both got the remainder of your things together and checked out of the room and were happy when even with some shopping on board, you still had left over credit and you had the cruise cut Noah the check for your surplus and just as you disembarked, you watched as Alorna and Doug were arrested by four police officers as they had tried to disembark.

“Get your hands off me!” Alorna screeched as she struggled as Doug was struggling too before both of them got tazed and pissed themselves as you and Noah gasped as you watched on from a safe distance before you two couldn’t help but snicker a laugh as everyone else watched on eagerly and laughed as they recorded it to upload it onto YouTube as the cruise simply handed them a very hefty bill, from not just their room and drinks and spa services and add ons but also a bill for tens of thousands owed at the casino.

“Wouldn’t want to be them.” You practically sang to Noah as you both laughed, watching them get their comeuppance.

“Me neither.” Noah shook his head as you both eagerly watched as they were hauled off and you and Noah got your baggage and got a taxi to the hotel you would be staying in tonight before you would have to go to the airport the next day and each of you would fly your separate ways home.

Once at the hotel you went ahead and booked the Disney cruise for the dates that worked best and went ahead and booked things for all the kids, the extra experiences and excursions you could, you wanted Sakura to have the princess treatment, and knew that Skylar, for as tomboyish as she was, she wouldn’t say no to some pampering, nor Zane for that matter as you did the same for things for you and Noah as Noah made plans of where he was going to park his plane and stuff and meet back up for the cruise before you made more plans of how you were going to move Noah and his own animals and pets and things down for the winter and when and even ordered new things to decorate Sakura’s room with because you were taking Sakura, and her pets home with you after the two families met and would hopefully, with all fingers crossed, would get along and get her on your insurances, get her in school and get her room ready for her so that moving in would be as easy and hopefully seamless as could be and even made plans so that Noah could fly his family down to see where Noah and Sakura would settle in for the winter and have a chance to have a really big, proper gosbe and merging of the two families in September as everyone in your family was eager to meet Noah and Sakura and their family too.

You spent the last night together holding each other tightly, making promises and plans as you made love slowly, savoring every nano second because it would be a while before you would have the opportunity to have this pleasure with each other for a while. The next morning at their airport, Noah waited with you at the gate since your flight left before his, not wanting to spend a single second without you- that he didn’t have to and gave you one hell of a kiss goodbye.

Several hours later, you both arrived home and while you were happy to be home, you missed Noah and Sakura especially and once the kids were dropped off at home, you sat them down to bring them up to speed with the first part of your plan and were surprised when both of them were ok and at peace with it, and strangely- eagerly looking forward to it and when they asked about the second part of the plan, of Noah and Sakura moving in with you for the fall, winter and spring and Noah working on flipping the estates while they were in school and you were at work- they were actually impressed and relieved that Noah would be “pulling weight” and working with your dad on the houses too and were more interested in the how rather than the why of the matter because they could tell that you genuinely loved Sakura and Noah and they were grateful that at least Noah was “connected” to people they knew and trusted, mainly, your father.

“Ok, I’ll be honest, I totally thought I was going to have to do a lot more convincing.” You admitted to them once you seemed to have laid all your cards out on the table to them.

“Grandpa Gru vouched for him and when Grandpa Gru talked with Noah’s dad Ukluk and Noah’s former father in law Tonrar, we were right there and got to hear most of it and we got to talk to them too and they’ve been talking back and forth ever since and Grandpa Gru has been telling us about him and Sakura and they were really nice, and we got to talk to Summer and Isla and we got to talk to Noah’s siblings, well, all of them except Alorna, who’s apparently in jail for slandering you as a priestess, which isn’t cool, but you can’t please everyone. But otherwise we got to talk to his former siblings in law too and even Sakura’s cousins who all seem really cool and they’re all pretty normal, which is a good thing. And to hear all of them be honest about Noah and his situation and especially about Neena and their relationship and how he treated her and how he treats his family as well as the circumstances of her own death and how he’s dealt with it, in particular how he didn’t turn to the bottle or any other vices, or even his own temper, impressed us, like a lot. And instead of a “sales speech” about how great he is, to hear he’s imperfect and makes mistakes but tries his best and treats the people around him respectfully and really well and has honor and a strong sense of duty and was already making sacrifices for people around him, and has similar values that we have and has a very similar situation that we have. That was enough for us. We also comprised a list of questions for him.” Xander revealed before they showed you the list.

“Aww, this is really comprehensive.” You praised as you looked it over and grinned when you already knew the answers to most of these but you’d leave it to Noah to confirm them himself.

“Can I copy this?” You asked.

“Please do.” Skylar nodded before you went to your office and took a photocopy of the list, both sides before you took pictures and then took a pen and added a third page of things they didn’t come up with that Noah had to offer and things to talk about before you copied that and handed it to them to look at before you got a call from Noah.

“Yes?” You answered when you picked up only to hear Sakura’s voice on the other end.

“Hi Mama,” Sakura greeted you sleepily as you looked at your watch and noticed that it was bed time in her time zone as you yourself were feeling quite tired.

“Hi Honey,” You greeted, your heart melting in your chest as your soul ached to be holding her again.

“Can I have a bedtime story?” Sakura asked.

“Of course,” you readily agreed.

“I gotta read Sakura a bedtime story.” You informed your kids who both grinned knowingly and were happy to see you happy before you went upstairs to the bookshelf in your kid’s old playroom and got an appropriate story to read her and once Sakura was put to sleep, you talked with Noah and told him about the list and the developments with Sky and Zane and what your dad had done which Noah was very grateful for as Noah revealed that after you had boarded your plane and he was waiting for his own, that he got a call from your dad and the two talked for a couple of hours while he waited as your dad got to have a good conversation and came to an understanding and was surprisingly sympathetic and really nice and welcoming and Noah had a really good feeling that they were going to get along just fine and when he talked with your Mom, all your mom wanted to know was about his pets and horses and what he liked to to eat and drink and otherwise welcomed him with open arms which made you blow out a breath of relief you suggested that for next year that he would probably need to put an addition to his house for everyone which he was more than happy to agree to because his house currently was only a cottage sized house, big enough and cozy enough for Noah, you and Sakura but with adding Skylar and Xander and the menagerie to the mix, not so much. And even the barn would be cramped but Noah’s plot of land was definitely big enough to accommodate your needs and it could be made to work.

In just the span of three weeks, you had turned one of your guest bedrooms into a bedroom for Sakura and worked overtime to make it perfect while also working with your dad, your brothers and brothers in law to make sure the outbuilding, aka the man cave- was ready for Noah and and looked into zoning for several acres of land to see if you turn it into a runway so that Noah wouldn’t have to rent a space at another air field and looked into commissioning an airplane hanger to be built on the property too since you had bought up the surrounding farmland.

But that time seemed to fly by and now your children and yourself were waiting in the lobby of a hotel, waiting for Noah and Sakura to arrive while you and your children all played games on your phones as they were also waiting, having brought gifts for Sakura which were in gift bags while your own gifts had been a new suitcase full of new clothes and things for them both.

While all of you were excited, you were particularly anxious because the weather forecast told you that this week was going to have some storms and you weren’t sure how the cruise was going to go if the weather was bad, but you had an abundance of seasickness medicine and other medicines, just in case. You were prepared.

Finally Noah and Sakura made it into the hotel and the moment she saw you, she let go of Noah's hand and bolted for you.

"Mama!" Sakura shrieked in delight as you readily got up and closed the distance as you caught her in your arms and tried and failed not to cry, when you got to hold her again as you kissed each other all over as Noah came over and simply kissed you sweetly before the three of you made it back over to where Xander and Skylar were still hanging out in the lounge area, gift bags in hand and friendly smiles on their faces before Sakura got down and practically tackled Skylar and Xander with hugs which made the kids laugh as Noah was holding Sakura’s gifts for your own children.

“Hi, I'm Noatak, aka Noah, nice to meet you both.” Noah greeted your kids with a handshake which they were happy to give him, staring up at this mountain of a man, kind of awe but still a trace of fear because he was still just a little fear inspiring in person but they weren’t terrified or anything. His smile and demeanor and especially his energy was friendly and while they could tell he was nervous, he seemed to radiate calm and warmth, which is what Skylar picked up on the most and just by this first impression, she was cool. Xander, was still reserving his final judgement though.

“Hi, I'm Skylar, you can call me Sky for short,” Your daughter mirrored and echoed back to him as she watched as her little hand disappeared into his much larger one.

"And I'm Xander but you can call me Zane for short too." Xander replied before Sakura happily exchanged gifts as Zane and Sky were excited to see what Sakura would get them before a discussion was held about where to get dinner at before a place was decided that was within walking distance where the kids happily walked with their gifts, eagerly talking and getting to know each other which left you and Noah to walk hand in hand only a step behind them.

“Here, you left this.” Noah said as he tried to hand you a check for the entire amount that you had left him on the day he flew you out.

“Oh no you don’t. You need to keep that, it’s our money now, who knows when you’ll need it, moving can be expensive, as are planes, I know you already had plans to upkeep the plane this winter, I just made the “how” a little easier.” You argued as you took the check and promptly tore it into little pieces and stuffed the pieces into your pocket to burn later.

“Nice try though.” You cooed to him.

“Well then the moment we get back, I need to put you on my bank accounts so that you can access it anyway.” Noah insisted.

“Only if you’ll let me do the same for you and my own accounts.” You proposed.

“Only the small ones.” Noah gently countered.

“Fair enough.” You grinned with a soft chuckle.

Over dinner the kids brought out “the list” of questions as you and Noah sat side by side in the booth while the kids sat on the other side of the table as they went down the list while you waited for the food.

“So what was your first job?” Zane began.

“Well officially, the first job I had that came with a paycheck, was actually on a fishing boat, fishing for snow crabs and just about everything else under the sun up there and that’s how I saved up my money to buy the plane. But otherwise I have been flying with my dad in his plane since before I was old enough to legally drive as did my brother who actually flies for USPS.” Noah revealed which got all but Sakura to blink in surprise.

“Well that might come in handy, there’s supposed to be storms this week on the cruise, I’ll need your help getting my sea- legs.” You murmured.

“Oh there’s plenty of tricks to getting the seasickness to abate.” He reassured all of you which made you feel better about the prospect of spending a cruise on stormy seas as he simply squeezed your hand reassuringly.

“So how did you know that our mom was the one for you?” Skylar asked which got Noah to bark a laugh for her bluntness.

“Direct, I like it, actually, she was the answer to a lot of prayers, the least of which was financial.” Noah began.

“I had been praying, ever since Neena died, so for a while now, for the right woman to look at Sakura and see a daughter, her daughter specifically and love her just as much as I do and would want to be her mother and would be an excellent mother at that and be what Sakura needed to help her heal from the loss of her first one. And have a future with her without erasing or ignoring the past and who would respect our culture and not look down on it, and would help her embrace it. And your mom did all of that and more, like so much more than I ever could have thought to hope for, much less pray for.” Noah answered as you practically glowed with pride next to him and smiled so adoringly at him and thanked all the gods for a man who finally recognized your contributions and gave you credit where it was due.

“Because she prayed with me to the same gods my first mama and all my grandparents pray to and then she showed me how she prayed to hers and we shared a lot of the same ones and she made me my summer solstice outfit, just like my first mama did, only better. And hugging her felt like I was hugging my first mama, that she loved me just as much.” Sakura volunteered which melted everyone’s hearts.

“And it became immediately apparent to me just on that first day that it was The Gods Will that everything that I packed for Taylor and her family, I packed two, and both sets made it and it just so happened that Noah needed everything that I had packed but he didn’t ask for any of it and I sincerely doubt he ever would have either. But he did appreciate it and was more than deserving of it too and while his house wasn’t the biggest or grandest house I’ve ever been in, he built it with his own two hands and he built it well and it was full of more love than anything which was very keenly felt. And I could tell that Noah took care of his house really well too, everything was in good working order, and well maintained and neat and orderly and pretty clean too. He’s been used to doing all the domestic chores along with earning an income and providing for his family just like me and trying to carry everything all by himself which is hard and a burden- I’m all too familiar with myself and he cooks really well too. So, win-win.” You added with a proud smile which got Sky to smile fondly and even Zane to grin as he sat on one side of Sakura while Skylar sat on the other side of her which Sakura couldn’t be happier about, being surrounded by her new family.

“So how did you know that Daddy was the one for you Mama?” Sakura asked you in turn.

“Well he also answered a lot of prayers for me too. So on the trip up to the Frozen Tundra, I had to take a flight and a short cruise up there and it was just non stop men with a few women too, both married, divorced, single, in and out of all kinds of relationships and it was just a barrage of mostly guys wanting to buy me every drink at every bar that they could make- in an effort to have sex with me and I was really sick of it, been sick of it for years now and I was worn down and weary of it all. Like even the spa manager on that first cruise ship tried to have sex with me so my guard was up and I figured I wouldn’t have a break from that until I got to Taylor’s house when surprise- surprise, even there, I ran into the same thing from her brother in law and the whole way up I had been praying that I would find a friend and find relief from all of that and lo and behold- Noah was there waiting for me to get off the boat and he didn’t flirt with me once on that first day or even the second and not really on the third either. He was nothing but respectful and professional to me even before I met him and after he met me in person he showed unbelievable restraint and self control which encouraged me to do the same, because the moment I saw him in person, I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on and there was that instant attraction, connection and chemistry and even with all of that, he let me just hang out and help him in exchange for flying me all over which I love flying and at the first subtle sign of discomfort from other’s advances, he didn’t hesitate to protect me and shield me from those unwanted advances from everyone else and it was such a welcome relief, like it was walking into a cool air conditioned room to rest and get replenished and feel completely safe while also feeling completely free and it was so wonderful to feel that after being in the oppressive heat all day with buzzing mosquitoes trying to suck every bit of blood and joy and peace from me they could and it was really nice and refreshing.” You began which got Noah to huff a laugh.

“That’s funny I felt the same way but kind of the opposite.” Noah said.

“I was oppressive heat?” You laughed.

“No, no, no, it was the opposite in that for me it felt like it was the never ending winter and oppressively cold, but with you- it was like getting that first warm breeze of summer, where the winter finally shakes it’s hold on everything and wishy washy spring where it’s cold one day and hot the next only to be cold the day after that- it felt like winter was finally over and once that warm summer breeze rolls in, it’s even and stable and you can trust that it’ll stay warm instead of trying to rip it away in two seconds, and you did smell like some tropical blooms in paradise, and what was really poignant, was that morning when I dropped Sakura off at my mom’s, my mom said her tea leaves told her that I would find Paradise that day and at the time I had no idea what she meant but the second I met you, it was crystal clear.” Noah explained.

“Which is why I called you Paradise at first Mama and because she showed me the tea leaves and then did some more and they told me that you were a really good mama, one of the best.” Sakura sighed dreamily as she smiled adoringly at you as you mirrored her.

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” You fawned as you picked up his hand and kissed the back of it sweetly before you reached across the table to stroke Sakura’s cheek with your palm and smiled even brighter when she leaned into your touch as Zane and Skylar smiled fondly too as that seemed to cement things for Skylar especially, the gods themselves picked Noah and Sakura out for them and through destiny itself, brought them together.

“So anyway, when I first came up, when I finally got to him- others tried to flirt with me, once he observed that I was tired and uncomfortable, he shut them down and stood up for me without asking for anything in return or trying to flirt with me himself even though at the time I would have probably flirted back but because he showed restraint, I showed some too and he was generous with me without any thought of being paid back for any of it and treated me like we’d been friends for years and we just got along and we clicked on just that base- friendship level because he thought I was married and I thought he was married and we both deeply respected those boundaries and didn’t push them and when we found out that we were both widowed, it didn’t jump straight from friends to romantic, it stayed friends and it grew very organically from there and he went above and beyond for me, helping me with my luggage, helping drive half my crap to Taylor’s house, and hugging him that first night felt like hugging home, only it wasn’t a home I had known yet and it was such a relief all around and a very welcome change.” You explained.

“Yeah except, because you were that wonderful paradise compared to everything else and it’s not like I wasn’t immediately attracted to you either. You were wonderful on the phone and then when I saw you coming down the pier with a plane load of cargo, I figured you were my fare but the closer you got, the more I could see and I had every intention of meeting you halfway but once I got a good look at you, my whole body just froze and my brain shut down and my eyes got tunnel vision and I just watched completely bewitched as the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life who looked like paradise incarnate, coming down the pier and so that’s why I just stupidly stood there and stared at you like an awkward teenager and then when you saw me, smiled politely and turned and called me and pulled me out of that daze, I almost said ‘sorry, we don’t get too many drop dead gorgeous women up here’ but that would have been incredibly unprofessional and inappropriate and my mouth has never worked that smoothly with my brain and then when I was driving you to the plane and I’m seeing every sailor, every passenger, every guy with a pulse stop, stare and do a double take, I thought I needed a warhammer strapped to my back and I thought I was going to be fighting all of them off just to keep you safe because we may live in a polite- modern society but that can change in a hot minute and I had to hide behind my sunglasses and I was terrified something was gonna happen to you and so I had to call Taylor and voice my concerns to her because again, didn’t want to be rude to you and told her that you needed a bodyguard and she told me to volunteer basically before she laughed and hung up.” Noah confessed.

“Really?” You and the kids all laughed in delight, grateful that there was that instant attraction and chemistry.

“Yeah, so like I just had to put myself on my best behavior because I did not want to mess up anything with you.” Noah explained.

“Well obviously it worked.” You reassured him.

“Plus when I met Sakura, I had the most overwhelming mothering urges towards her, like every instinct in my mind and body was telling me to love her and take care of her and do everything in my power to make sure she was ok and help her in any way I could, whether it benefited me or not. And when I got to hug and hold her for the first time, it was like I was holding you guys after I first gave birth to you. That ‘there you are, I’ve waited so long to finally meet you and I’m gonna love you forever.’ feeling.” You repeated and even now Noah still got misty eyed just thinking about it as Skylar had her arm around Sakura and hugged her tight too.

“And that’s exactly what I prayed for.” Noah repeated.

“And then to know that he wasn’t a stranger or just some guy- but to know that it was Grandpa Gru’s old airforce brother from another mother, that- that- was his dad and that our families had actually been old friends before my dad had moved us away, that if my parents had stayed we would have grown up together and probably would have been friends starting then too. And the fact that Taylor also vetted him for me, and that Taylor knew him and knew his family too so that I had not just that childhood connection but also have that mature adulthood character reference and his reputation alone was outstanding and the fact that he not only respected me but respected my profession too which is a really big deal, especially for me, when so many think it’s an invitation for solicitation, but not him, he recognized that it was, not just my bread and butter but actually my calling and was really helpful and supportive.” You mused.

“Well and likewise, because you were the first client since Neena died that didn’t haggle me or look down on me because I was an ice orc and a pilot and you didn’t treat me and my family like tourist attractions which has happened a lot before and you respected me and my profession which also went a long way too.” Noah confessed.

“Yeah, being objectified sucks, we just get objectified for different things. I’m actually worried that’s gonna happen on the cruise, that you and Sakura will get patronized because you’re ice orcs and get roped into posing for other guests who think you’re part of the experience.” You confessed.

“Nah, I wouldn’t, if Sakura and I brought our native regalia, maybe, but since we didn’t, I doubt that’ll happen, I don’t think people will care enough to notice us because usually we get ignored everywhere we go that isn’t home where we know everyone.” Noah reassured you.

“But, back to what we were talking about, the moment you came into my life, suddenly money was the last thing to matter to me, all that really mattered was Sakura and you, and making sure both of you were ok and taken care of and most of all safe.” Noah professed.

“Aww, I had the same feeling but especially for Sakura, like I knew you would be ok and could take care of yourself and I knew Sakura would be ok as long as you would be successful so making you as successful as possible so you could continue to care for her became my immediate goal. Which is why once I found out that your competition was undercutting you to steal your already limited pool of clients, I felt I needed to try to help any way I could and it ended up working out really well. And what worked out even better was that all the money that I made that first day, even when I went and didn’t expect to make any money at all, I spent helping you even more so that it was in no way a burden and the more I gave and the more I helped, the more blessing and happiness I got in return and the blessing didn’t stop at you and Sakura, it went to your family and Neena’s family too and even the clans, despite Alorna and Doug’s attempts to sabotage that because the seeds and things I brought from the lower 48 that I barely spent anything on- ended up getting split up and going to all the clans and it all got used and appreciated which is, at the end of the day, what matters.” You added.

“And it proved to everyone what a fine woman you were that even in the face of deep disrespect and sabotage that you kept your cool and kept your composure and were classy and gracious and respectful and still honored the clans and the council, which was the right thing to do, it wasn’t easy and I didn’t make it any easier on you either.” Noah confessed.

“How did you make it hard?” Zane asked with a frown.

“I took her concession as her giving up on me and Sakura and it wasn’t that at all, she was in her own priestess regalia and in regalia, she has a code she needs to abide by and I didn’t take that into account or consideration at all and I, very wrongly jumped to the conclusion that she was giving up and I will probably regret that mistake till the day I die.” Noah readily confessed which impressed Zane and Skylar that he was humble enough to admit he made a mistake and owned up to it and didn’t sugar coat it or downplay it but was actually very factual in his recounting which was very honest and forthcoming, which they respected and admired.

“Well you need to forgive yourself for that, I know I have, and beating yourself up for a mistake won’t get you anywhere.” You comforted him with another squeeze of his hand.

“No but it sure did teach me some humility and the lesson to not to jump to conclusions and to actually talk things out and figure it out instead of just emotionally reacting.” Noah gently countered.

“And it taught me to explain myself before misconceptions and misunderstandings happen because the difference in culture is still there.” You allowed.

“Huh,” Zane hummed and shrugged it off.

“But that’s still a really good thing that you would admit that you were in the wrong and obviously you apologized and tried to make amends and that you’re humble enough to admit that you were wrong and learned lessons, even as an adult.” Skylar praised.

“And what an apology it was.” You grinned cheekily which got Noah to blush and smile bashfully.

“It wasn’t just sex was it? It was an actual apology right?” Zane pressed.

“Yes, it was an actual apology, like, crying, on his knees, begging for forgiveness and admitting fault and promising to do better and then following through with actions.” You reassured Zane.

“And then yes, sex.” Noah took a chance and teased Zane which got Skylar to snort a snickering laugh as Sakura giggled too as Zane just sighed tiredly and resigned himself to this even though secretly he was relieved that it was Noah that you had chosen, or the gods rather, because now that you were in a serious relationship, his friend’s dads would hopefully now be deterred and stop drooling over you already.

“Yeah, I guess that’s inevitable and part of a healthy, committed monogamous relationship right?” Zane returned, trying to be cool about it because he could tell Noah was being harmless, in his joking and appreciated the gesture and could humor him.

“Yup, very healthy,” You nodded.

“And very committed and monogamous.” Noah nodded in turn.

“So have you ever killed anyone?” Skylar asked which got you and Noah to laugh because she just- came in from left field with that one.

“No, I have killed many animals though, for hunting purposes because hunting and trapping is legal and absolutely necessary if you’re going to live up there.” Noah answered.

“What’s the biggest thing you’ve killed?” Skylar asked.

“A bull moose that was just over 1500 pounds, getting that thing to my plane was the hardest thing because you have to dress it in the field and carry it out in pieces and carry it out quickly before the wolves and bears get wind of it. But thankfully I was hunting with my dad and my brothers and brothers in law so we all helped and we got a few moose that day, it set up the families for most of the winter actually.” Noah began before he recounted his other hunting expeditions and by the end of dinner, Sky and Zane seemed happy and satisfied with Noah’s answers to his questions and Noah in turn got his own questions about you and them, answered too.

You went back to the hotel and you tried to “ease” everyone into this by getting two hotel rooms, one for Noah and Sakura and the other for your kids and yourself, but they were right next to each other and had a door from one to the other that you kept open and once the kids got dressed to go swimming in the hotel’s pool and Noah got to see you in a bikini again, he nearly lost control and had to actively remind himself that not only was Sakura around, but your own children and the guests at the hotel meant he couldn’t just scoop you up and fuck you against the closest surface. The bikini wasn’t even all that “sexy” it was actually modest compared to most but your body in it was giving every ounce of will power he had a run for its money.

“Did you miss me?” You cooed to him as you caught him staring at you as you laid out the kid’s towels down over the sun chairs as you taunted him by wiggling your butt just enough to make it jiggle a little.

“You have no idea.” Noah returned huskily as he simply came up behind you and wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you flush to him to pin his hardening cock to your backside and left the most salacious kiss on the side of your neck, your knees almost buckled from under you as you dropped your own towel on the ground as your whole body betrayed you and you were ready to rip your bikini off of your frame and offer yourself to him poolside.

“Fuck.” You cursed under your breath as it was suddenly unbearably hot in the sun, because Noah had practically set you on fire with just that little touch and kiss.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” He teased you.

“You keep pushing it and this will end in one of two ways, I get away from you so I don’t fuck you in front of the gods and everyone- right here, right now and scar the kids for life or you can figure out a way we can both sneak away for five or ten minutes so we can get our own private business taken care of.” You offered as you bent at the waist to pick up your towel and to feel his shaft tried to spear the cleft of your ass as it laid against the length of it.

Thankfully the kids soon made friends with the other kids swimming at the pool and Noah and yourself did manage to “sneak” into a family’s restroom.

That door was barely shut and locked before Noah ripped your bottoms off as you barely had a chance to step out of them before he picked you up, pinned you against a wall and entered you roughly then started up a very earnest and powerful rhythm as he kissed you like a man starved while you clung to him like a lifeline while you tried to stamp down your whimpering keens and feeling rejoined was feeling like you were whole again.

“Gods I’ve missed you.” You confessed between scorching hot kisses.

“Missed you too, my hand has been a poor substitute.” Noah confessed which got a giggle to bubble from your throat.

“Likewise.” You returned as his hips snapped forcefully into yours and the pleasure was almost overwhelming, after three weeks of just talking on the phone, seeing him again in person, the magic and the sparks and the chemistry was still there, if anything there was more of it. That three weeks had felt just as long as the two years between losing Andy and finding Noah to begin with and it was crazy how in a month, what once was a stranger was now the center of your life and the same could be said for Noah.

But at least you had all the texts, phone calls and emails. And thankfully Noah had been busy with his business while you were gone, having practically worked nonstop once he got back. And you talked to both him and Sakura at least once a day, especially at night, reading stories to Sakura to put her to sleep and then talking to Noah about his day after putting Sakura to bed. And sometimes it was just decompressing or heart and soul bearing conversation and other times it turned into some really amazing phone sex. But none of it held a candle to the real thing and way faster than you were expecting, you came in a shuddering keen, nuzzling your face into the crux of his neck and shoulder while your fingertips dimpled into the meat of his shoulders and back and it took less than ten pumps later before Noah finally let loose himself and pumped you full of his seed, a growling groaning moan as he simply pinned you against the wall and held you tight and nuzzled his face in the juncture of your own neck and shoulder and breathed in your scent deep into his lungs, feeling anchored by it because now, that he had you in his arms, he didn’t care about anything else. Everything else seemed so far away now.

By the time you made it back out, Sakura was on Zane’s shoulders as he and some of the other kids there were playing chicken and didn’t notice that you and Noah had stepped away it seemed as you both slipped into the warm water and swam around until the sunset and you finally got to go back to the rooms where you happily put Sakura to bed, snuggling with her in her bed as you read a story from your phone to her as Sky and Zane got ready for bed in their own bed across from you and watched on fondly before they fell asleep after Sakura did before you happily crawled into bed with Noah, made love and then fell asleep in his arms, finally sleeping well for the first time in weeks and Skylar and Zane didn’t have any issues with it in the morning which was a relief for you and Noah.

Before loading the cruise ship you had Noah take you and your second set of luggage and a huge crate of gifts for kids, all of Sakura’s cousins on both sides of her family since you and your kids had insisted on also getting gifts for their soon to be cousins and loaded those up on the plane so you wouldn’t have to worry about those gifts getting dirty or damaged before they could reach their recipients and your kids got to explore Noah’s plane which they thought was really cool, Skylar actually did summersaults down the cargo hold as Zane sat in the cockpit and eagerly looked at all the controls and was asking Noah about what each one was and did which made you happy as Noah promised that after the cruise, he would let them fly the plane for a few minutes on the way home which made them really happy and excited for. Which made you so excited to see everything again, but instead of the eyes of a visitor but from the eyes of a soon to be local.

Thankfully you got onto the cruise ship early because you were in the concierge royal suite and not surprisingly, Zane and Skylar seemed to make new friends right at check in, some of them had even been at the hotel the night before and even Sakura made new friends too which gave you some relief that she wasn’t being left out or ignored. Skylar and Zane could make fast friends wherever they went when they wanted to and for a week long cruise, they could do so freely to make the trip more enjoyable and Skylar and Zane had gifted Sakura a little notebook to write down all the names of all her friends so that once they got on board they could send each other gifts and “pixie dust” to other guests which Zane and Skylar insisted that all the kids staying in all of the handicap rooms on board get pixie dust in particular which damn near made Noah cry because of how thoughtful and inclusive they were to include them as Sakura also agreed to do the same which made you particularly proud. You had also spent the last three weeks making sure that you would have all the extra touches and flourishes that would make the cruise memorable and special for everyone.

Once you were invited to board, you got your pictures taken and then it was announced to the welcoming crew that the Kintucks and the Kingsleys were arrived which Sakura thought was really fun and once onboard the concierge lounge on the ship, you got each of them the program for the cruise and your highlighters out and brought out the list of things you had already put into your agenda, like princess makeovers and royal tea service for the nights you would be going to Rapunzel’s Royal Table for dinner where it was basically Disney’s version of “formal nights” as all five you got to have your choice about activities for the cruises.

Noah, unsurprisingly, was happy to just be along for the ride. Sky and Zane were really looking forward to all the kids clubs and since this was Sakura’s first cruise, much less a Disney one, she was just eager to experience everything she could as Skylar and Zane were equally eager to share the experiences with her while you were eager to have some good proper alone time with Noah because your suite had two huge whirlpool tubs, one for the master and one for the kid’s room and while you brought plenty of bath bombs for the kids, you also brought some for yourself too along with some amazing lingerie just for Noah’s enjoyment, as all of you tried to get used to the rocking of the boat.

“So...what’s that trick to getting your sea legs?” Zane asked Noah as you could tell from his expression that he was getting a little queasy as he sipped on his ginger ale.

“Ok so back when I was on a fishing boat, what we would do is we would fill the hold up with sea water, get our gear on, as if we would go overboard and we would take turns throwing each other into the holding tank, like throwing each other as high in the air as we could, with more flips and twists, the better and when the body gets thrown around like that, it’s forced to re-calibrate itself and even in a really bad storm there is always a rhythm to the waves that your body gets used to, we would barely be out of port and we would start doing this, usually on the third throw, maybe the fifth throw if you’re really bad off, you’re good to go, now the biggest trick is when you get back on land, your body will still want to follow the rhythm of the sea and you can get “land sickness”, which is getting sea sick sitting perfectly still, but again, it’s the same trick to get out of it.” Noah explained.

“So you yeet us basically.” Skylar grinned excitedly.

“Yeah, into the pool.” Noah nodded.

“Yes!” Skylar cheered which got Noah to laugh as he looked around casually and noticed something...odd.

“Hey, not to be a worry wart but we might have a problem, 8’oclock.” Noah murmured to your family as he looked around casually again which got everyone’s ears to pick up.

“What?” You asked, as you instantly looked around yourself before you noticed the family in the direction Noah alluded to before your own stomach dropped.

“They’re looking at Zane pretty hard.” Noah realized.

“Ah, fans, this happens quite a bit, hopefully they’ll be cool and not swarm me.” Zane muttered in resignation.

“Cause of your YouTube channel?” Noah asked.

“Most likely, they don’t look like the ballet following type.” Zane answered.

“If they come over and bother you- do you want me to get rid of them?” Noah offered casually.

“Uh, well, there’s no reason to be rude, but yeah if they get bothersome and hound me, please do.” Zane answered, happy and relieved that Noah would even offer before the family couldn’t help it and came over.

“Hey, are you Zane Kingsley, with King’s Snakes?” Another boy asked Zane as the family from across the lounge had been staring and gawking at Zane the moment your family had been waiting to board the ship and Noah noticed Zane plastered on that same, forced polite smile you did that first day when that whole tavern tried to buy you drinks as Noah looked from Zane to you to see you did the same thing as Skylar didn’t bother hiding her annoyance at the intrusion while Sakura looked on curiously as she ate her snack.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Zane reluctantly confirmed before the whole family seemed to gush and fawn and geek out that they met a “celebrity” on the cruise before they all got pictures with Zane as Zane humored them and gave them autographs while he tried to keep it about the snakes, asking if they had any and was happy that they were looking to buy one soon.

“Oh my goodness, look at us being so rude, are you vacationing with your family?” The mom asked.

“Yup, that’s my mom Zara, my sister Sky, my soon to be stepsister Sakura, and soon to be step dad Noatak.” Zane introduced which brought a more genuine smile to your face.

“Oh wow, you guys are ice orcs aren’t you?” The dad asked.

“Yup, we’re from the Sungilak tribe too.” Sakura volunteered.

“Oh that’s so awesome, do you mind if we get pictures of you guys too? We’ve never met ice orcs before, you have such beautiful coloring.” The mom tried to flatter.

“Sure.” Sakura agreed before she smiled really brightly for them as you and Noah shared a meaningful look before the family seemed satisfied they left you alone.

“Gods, please let that be the only time that happens.” You muttered to Noah worriedly as you squeezed his hand as you walked the halls to your suite to get changed into your bathing suits since the luggage that wasn’t your carryons had already been delivered.

You all got to your room and just as the other guests were boarding, Noah took the lifeguard aside and explained what he was about to do to you and your family and got special permission to do so since he would be throwing you guys much higher and farther than would normally be allowed but they trusted Noah for his word and his experience.

Skylar had never screamed more gleefully in her life, even on roller coasters, she didn’t squeal so loudly and Sakura did about the same and Zane even let out a shout or five as you marveled at Noah’s strength in not only picking you up but throwing you just as high and just as far as the kids but it worked like the charm it was. Then Noah jumped and did flips in the air to calibrate himself to it and once done, all of you happily went back to the room to fully settle in and get ready for the sailing away party as Sakura got to be on your shoulders while Skylar requested to enjoy it on Noah’s shoulders and was happy to be the tallest in the crowd that was gathered.

The first two days of the cruise were perfect, everyone got to have all their fun events that they wanted to go to and no one had issues with seasickness at all and you and Noah got to fully reconnect and Noah loved the lingerie and loved getting it off of you in record time too while the kids were in their kid’s clubs and do a lot of crafts in the oceaneers clubs.

The third day however, the storms hit and thankfully you were in the middle of the ship so you didn’t have to have deal with the bow going up and down with the waves, but the winds and rains hitting the glass of the veranda was the scariest thing you had encountered on the sea as all three of the kids huddled close to you in your bed as Sakura was squarely on your chest, Zane was under your right arm and Skylar was under your left and Noah was on the other side of Skylar as Noah simply smiled fondly to see you comforting all your children through the storm and was relieved that none of you were faring badly because of the seasickness as you all huddled together under the blankets during the worst of the storm.

Then after that, the storms passed and things went back to normal however, for the rest of the cruise, your family soon garnered more and more attention every time you left your cabin as Zane got an exorbitant amount of attention and “pixie dust” from just about all the kids on board because the news of “a celebrity” had traveled fast and even Noah and especially Sakura was approached a lot too, to the point that Noah actually did have to intervene and remind the other guests that you were all on a family vacation and that if they wanted pictures with ice orcs, to get them on shore with the others who were actually dressed to cater to tourists but that he and his daughter were not part of the attractions themselves and that Zane was also on a private family vacation and appreciated his privacy which Zane had never been more grateful and thankful for Noah to do as Skylar was more adoring of him in those moments than she had been yet because usually you fiercely protected Zane from “fanatical fans” but with Noah, he was the best deterrent yet and she had immediately claimed him as her step dad and had instantly started calling him "Dad" which Noah got used to pretty quick as Zane had to get a second piece of luggage to pack all of the “pixie dust” from the cruise.

Then when you got off the boat with your luggage, Noah flew you back to your family’s new home away from home, to meet his family which your kids thought was the coolest thing to be flown in and all took turns in the cockpit with the head gear and help steer the plane and then the kids happily loaded themselves into the back of the pickup truck with their luggage and thought the Frozen Tundra was really, really pretty, with the mountains and the greens and the swaths of wild flower blooms in the other fields and you had them also pack gifts for their soon to be cousins as well, making sure that all the kids were accounted for and prayed that the kids would like the gifts as you went to Noah’s house first to unload all your luggage as Zane happily poached stickers and other items from all the “pixie dust” that he got form all his “fans” on the cruise and added them to the gift bags for a special Disney touch to them.

You were never more relived to see Neena's family with the Noah’s family again as they still gave you the same warm welcome that they had done last time and Sakura was so proud to introduce her new siblings to all her cousins who were thrilled to get presents as you and Noah watched on, as Skylar of course, wanted to wrestle with her new boy cousins while Zane was content to simply sit and talk with his new girl cousins as they all happily played with their new things of slime happily around the card table in the game room.

“Ok, you guys can wrestle if you want but here are the rules, no broken anything, no broken noses, wrists, elbows, knees, ankles and obviously necks, we don’t want to take anyone to the ER today, that kind of thing. No pulling hair or braids or anything like that, and anything that a bathing suit would cover is off limits and of course, honor the tap out code and only displays of good sportsmanlike conduct is allowed. And boys, if you’re not cool with a girl like Skylar getting the best of you and beating you, don’t wrestle with her in the first place. She’s had a lot of formal training. Skylar, only match what you’re about to be given, no ganging up on anyone, lets play fair, one on one or two on two or however it has to go to be even. No breaking furniture or windows or anything like that, let’s be respectful of each other and the space. No trash talking or anything like that.” You specified, making sure you made eye contact with all of them before they all eagerly nodded their agreement.

“Ok, have at it then.” You agreed before you backed away before it descended into controlled chaos.

“Does that happen a lot?” Isla asked as she sat next to you on the couch with Summer as you all watched as Skylar happily started pinning each one down to the ground as all the boys were beyond happy and excited that a girl was willing to play this rough and could go toe to toe with them and they didn’t have to worry about holding back to keep from hurting her cause she was one tough cookie.

“Yeah, now don’t misunderstand, the two of them could just as easily switch places. And at home, Zane is Skylar’s workout and sparring partner so he knows everything that she does martial arts wise and in school he was the one to restrain her when she would get in fights in school so he knows those holds better than she does. But he prefers to make interpersonal connections through talking. Skylar, is obviously more physical and they’ll both bond to everyone else, just through different means. And Skylar, is actually a really gifted, graceful dancer and Zane can do all kinds of lifts with her and it helps her keep her own balance in the martial arts, but she prefers the skin on skin contact and getting to know each one by playing like this.” You explained before you watched Skylar actually kick one particular boy cousin off of her with so much power he practically went flying backwards about 10 feet, a few feet off the ground as Zane saw him coming and pulled the other girl cousins out of the way so they didn’t get pulled into it and hurt as the boy got up and laughed and dove back in as the other fathers watched their sons play fight with amusement as the other women were puting the finishing touches on dinner as Noah had never beamed with so much pride at seeing Skylar seem to take on two at a time with ease and judging by all the bright smiles on all the faces of the kids, they were all definitely having fun.

“So how was the cruise?” Noah’s brother Nago asked from the pool table.

“Uh, it was a mixed bag honestly. The first couple of days were awesome. Then word got out that “a celebrity” was on the cruise and then it wasn’t so great. Zane has a YouTube channel about breeding ball pythons and he’s only ten but he’s already making money as a breeder and he’s actually really, really smart when it comes to their care and genetics and medical care. And so, because of that exposure, he gets recognized a lot and he got recognized on the ship and he signed more autographs than Mickey Mouse did. It was insane. And it got to the point that he had me step in and remind these people that he wasn’t at an expo, he wasn’t on this cruise for any kind of publicity but he was just on a private family vacation and it’s a good thing I have a mean glare to keep them at bay but it was the same people who objectified Sakura and I the whole time, thinking because we were ice orcs that we were part of the cruise and the experience too, that wasn’t cool and Zara showed her claws a few times trying to keep Sakura safe and not hassled either and the staff of course was really cool and understanding and helpful. And then of course we had those storms roll in and it got pretty dicey a few times and if I had not done the water tank trick on all of them and myself, all of us would have been sicker than a dog that whole time. But even with all of that going on, Zara never faltered once. She was amazing and kept everyone safe and together and having a good time and to Sakura, she just thought it was the best family vacation she had ever been on and thankfully didn’t think the attention she got was a bad thing as Skylar warmed right up to me and loved it that I was bigger and taller than anyone else on board and loved to sit on my shoulders to watch all the shows that weren’t canceled due to weather. Zane is of course reserving judgement which I can’t argue with or find fault in. So, like I said, mixed bag.” Noah surmised.

“Well of course it wasn’t going to be perfect. Nothing ever is.” Ukluk noted.

“No, I wasn’t expecting it to be but I just wasn’t exactly expecting what we got either.” Noah muttered as he continued to watch Skylar closely to make sure she wasn’t getting hurt before she put one of Sakura’s cousins, Kako into a choke hold.

“Hey! Kako! Tap out, she’s gonna make you pass out buddy.” Noah suggested as Suka laughed at how his son was being put into a choke hold as Kako never looked happier to be in such a state.

“I’m good!” Kako tried to say as he waived off his uncle in between trying to squirm out of the hold only a minute later he went limp into a pile on the floor before Skylar let him go and rolled him over with the help of his siblings and other cousins as they all cheered that she had knocked him out before they clamored for her to do the same thing to them.

“Really?” Skylar asked.

“Yeah!” They insisted before Skylar looked at you and then to Noah and the other dads for permission.

“Go for it!” Nago, Yakone, Tonrar, Dave, Max and John all encouraged her.

“If that’s what they want, go for it Sweetie.” Ukluk laughed and gave her the nod before she beamed and outright tackled the rest of them until she had all the boys passed out on the floor around her and stood and caught her breath and appraised her handiwork while Noah and his brothers and brothers in law and his father and father in law all give her high fives and teased that she needed to come over to their house for sleep overs to do that to their sons that night for bed.

“If this was two hundred years ago, she would be getting marriage proposals left and right for that.” Isla practically cackled to you which made the rest of you laugh with her.

“Yeah, most of the boys at school already view her as this little warrior goddess as it is. And she’s only 8, just turned 8 too, I can’t imagine what she’ll be like at 18, but my rule is, no dating while in elementary, middle or high school. If you want to date in college that’s your choice but nothing before that.” You insisted.

“Ooh, that’s gonna be hard, especially up here, most are matched before high school graduation.” Isla grimaced.

“Well then she’ll be one of the few who aren’t as will Zane, and Sakura. Because they’re children right now and they should focus on being kids, having fun, enjoying hobbies, learning life skills and school. Not anything romantic, they’re still growing and developing and maturing for their age, romance should be the last thing pushed onto them.” You insisted.

“Agreed.” Noah practically boomed from across the room which made you smile even brighter as Skylar then joined Zane’s group and met all the girl cousins and sat next to Sakura and put her arm around her.

“Can you show me how to do that?” Sakura asked Skylar.

“And me?” The other girls chimed in.

“Yeah sure, wait for them to wake up first.” Skylar said as she nodded over to the boys who were still passed out before their mothers came down to get everyone.

“What happened to the boys?” Samantha asked worriedly, seeing her sons passed out on the floor.

“Oh Sammie, you should have been here! So the boys found out that Skylar can wrestle, asked her to put them in choke holds which she did! It was the single coolest thing I’ve ever seen.” Nago laughed giddily as he went over to his boys and picked up their arms and let the arms drop.

“The boys...asked for this?” Samantha repeated.

“Yeah, and of course I was cool with it and gave her permission too.” Nago insisted.

“We all did.” All the guys insisted.

“...ok. Well dinner is ready, and they need to wake up for dinner.” Samantha insisted before all the guys murmured their agreement and woke up their sons who almost jolted awake.

“Hey bud, how do you feel?” Suka asked Kako.

“I feel fine, that was really fun!” Kako beamed happily.

“Good, I’m glad you had fun, time for dinner.” Suka insisted as he helped his son to his feet before all the other boys as they all happily got up and went upstairs and happily told their mothers all about how awesome Skylar was and how she plays just as rough as they do which made their mothers happy to hear that they were getting along and you and Noah were finally relieved that this time, things were going much smoother.

#Jewel Of The North #Jewel Of The North Chapter 12 #ice orcs #jewel orcs

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lexsssu · 4 years ago

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Shall We Date: Worship Me AU - Gabriel (Avatar of Diligence)

What if the MC gets transported to the Celestial Realm instead? What if the angels were the love interests?

GENERAL HCs

Known as the “Voice of God” and as such, is Big G’s primary messenger to the human world and the devildom

Because of this, he’s pretty well-known in the 3 worlds and knows a heck lot of different people

Also has a beautiful voice, the kind you’d want to listen to in an ASMR, podcast, audiobook, etc.

Then again do you really expect God’s voice to have anything other than a beautiful voice?

Like seriously his voice sounds like warm melted dark chocolate

He’s also Uriel’s younger twin brother

While Uriel is more akin to the cool and comforting countenance of the moon, Gabriel has the blazing warmth of the sun

Perpetually smiling, but each smile holds different meanings depending on how big it is, if there was any crookedness to it, if he showed his teeth, etc.

His close friends and family can usually tell which smile is which, but it’s his twin that can ALWAYS tell whatever mood he was in even just from analyzing his smile

Most of the time however, that smile hides a rambunctious imp that particularly likes playing tricks on anyone and everyone

He enjoys freaking people out and relishes the reactions they make. The more exaggerated the reaction, the better

That time Big G talked to Moses by going into that burning bush? It was Gabriel’s bright idea

Seriously though, that memory of him freaking out is one of Gabriel’s most treasured moments

Although truth be told, his all-time favorite reactions are the ones he least expected

One of his favorite pastimes is trying to coax a surprised reaction out of Uriel, seeing as his brother was normally so stone-faced

He feels that it’s his divine mission to get as many reactions out of Uriel as he can

He enjoys tormenting Raphael as much as he enjoys mentoring their youngest brother on how to speak effectively

A master of the art of speaking, so he knows every manner of using one's voice no matter what their intended outcomes were

Whether it's to soothe, anger, or seduce someone, Gabriel knows them all

But he asks a price for his services. You have to call him "Big Brother" sweetly if you want to even remotely get his attention for whatever favor you plan on asking him

Gabriel enjoys teasing others aside from pranking them

The flustered reactions he gets is always a nice treat

Don’t get him wrong though, he enjoys messing with others but it’s all light-hearted fun on his end and is never done with any intended malice

Rather, he actually makes sure that he never touches upon sore spots for anyone

He’s just a prankster, not an asshole

Out of the seven virtues, he also the one who still gets in touch the most with Lucifer and his brothers

He is a messenger after all so it’s a given he sends and receives messages the most

With how many prophecies, signs, and dreams he has to deliver Gabriel is almost always out and about. So he’s actually the one who’s least present in the celestial realm

You’d usually catch him on the rare times where he’s on break or in-between deliveries

Sometimes when he’s in need of a little entertainment during assignments, he’d spice up his deliveries by changing the method of delivering the messages

Like perhaps he was supposed to give a human a sign from Big G through a dream, but that’s so old-school so instead he delivers it when they’re wide awake and by themselves

He can’t possibly pinpoint the fact why some humans went to loony bins after he delivered their messages

P.S. They thought they went mad because of those “divine hallucinations”

A chaotic force of nature in all his white-haired, molten chocolate goodness

Emphasis on CHAOTIC

Like the rest of his brothers, he enjoys spoiling Azrael in the way normal big brothers spoil their younger siblings

Obligatory noogies, random wrestling moves, cheek pinching, etc.

An advocate of "No one can bully my siblings except me"

Frequently gets souvenirs from wherever he'd last gone to. He doesn't just get souvenirs for him though, he also gets some for his brothers

Limited edition keychains for Michael for example, sweets for Azrael, local ingredients for Cainabel, tea leaves for Raphael, a new book for Uriel, and etc.

For some reason people like giving him random stuff. Like he could just be passing by and one of his acquaintances or even someone who he'd never really hung out with but knew of him had just harvested their mango tree and now and a surplus of them, or ordered a bit too much of this or that and would give him their extras instead

That's why his pockets are perpetually full with little snacks, candies, and all a manner of random stuff

When his pockets get too full he pops up in the other virtues' offices to lighten his load so to speak

More often than not, it's Azrael who benefits from his brother's popularity since Gabriel himself doesn't eat too many sweets

He doesn't actually notice just how good-looking he is and couple that with his beautiful voice, you can see how and why he's so popular

His generally sunny and rambunctious personality has also earned him many fans

A fan of collecting stamps and has hundreds upon hundreds of books which contain every stamp that has ever come into existence

Stationery otaku

Michael once gave him a pen, one of those cheap ones you get at dollar stores with a cute character at the top. He still uses it until today and never leaves home without it

Regardless of how tacky something is, if it's from his brothers then Gabriel is sure to use it with happiness and pride

ENG VA: Vic Mignogna

JP VA: Mamoru Miyano

ROMANTIC HCs

He’s already a normally friendly and handsy type of guy so it’s kinda hard to notice if he’s actually romantically interested in you

Heck, even Gabe doesn’t realize that he’s into you for a good while because he believes the way he thinks about and reacts to you was still included in the realm of being platonic friends

So what if his heart does those little flips whenever you laugh good-naturedly at his antics? When you gave him that little smile of yours that he liked to think was reserved solely for him?

It’s probably nothing when his skin heats up a little bit whenever his skin touches yours even for a little bit

What do you mean he’s always hanging around you? You were his best friend so of course he’d almost always be with you!

He’s kind of like a bird in the sense that his attention span is always moving from one thing or another, but the fact that you manage to hold his attention for so long even when you’re not there was something that surprised and baffled his brothers

Most notably Uriel who was used to Gabriel flitting about, kind of like a hummingbird if he was being honest

Also like a bird, Gabriel gets a lot of random trinkets. Both of his own accord and because people just like randomly giving him stuff and if he deems any of them worthy enough for you, he’s sure as heck gonna present it and gift it to you as soon as possible

He practically preens whenever you accept his gifts (it doesn’t help that his wings sometimes pop out in all his happiness and excitement). Even just a little compliment gets him so happy and excited for the rest of the day

Offers you his wing to touch if you show even the slightest interest in their angel wings

“ You wanna touch them? They’re 100% guaranteed SUPER SOFT. I always keep my wings nice and tidy since I gotta keep up appearances as a messenger, ‘ya know? ”

Gabe doesn’t realize/forgets that to offer someone to touch the symbols of his power, his wings of all things, showed that he held you in high regard

It confirmed your purity of soul, because to be judged by an archangel, a Virtue even meant that you were a special type of soul, a diamond in the rough so to speak

Although Gabe himself doesn’t notice it, his brothers definitely notice his sudden fixation on you. It’s almost worrying seeing him sitting still for once

While most people would think Gabe would be as chill as he normally he is when facing the truth of his feelings...he isn’t

Many forget that he and Uriel are twins, born of the same core split into two by the Heavenly Father. They shared much more characteristics than just their looks

Once he’s enamored by something, this angel shows his almost infallible dedication to it and only God sits above it

Like Uriel, he does his best to observe and learn everything about you, but what’s scarier is that he does it so covertly that you don’t even know he’s fishing for information all the while relishing his time with you

It doesn’t help that as the Voice of God, his charms are nigh impossible to resist or even detect so you sometimes don’t even realize that he’s playing you right into the palm of his hands

Oh but you don’t have to worry though, Gabriel loves you with all his heart and only wishes to court you properly and perfectly. That’s another of the traits that he shares with his twin

You’ll never have to worry about him coaxing you into something you won’t like or is bad for you. He merely aims to show you the true extent of his pure love

Dates with him are always at different locations or generally something new, because there’s so much that he wants to show and experience together with you

Karaoke dates are a fan favorite between you two, because who DOESN’T wanna hear the Voice of God himself sing?

Like his voice is already like pouring warm melted dark chocolate to your ears but his voice is enough to send you floating happily into the Celestial Realm

“ So where should we go to next? ...Karaoke again? Do you really love hearing me sing that much, cutie? You know I can sing for you as much as you want. I’m all yours~ ”

#lexsssu writes #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date obey me #obey me masters #obey me oc #obey me angels

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daxieoclock · 4 years ago

Text

Birds and Flowers: Hunters Highlights

Just closed out another fucking MINDBLOWING session with some scenes I’ve been scheming in the background for literal months. These in-between times are going absolutely unreal and I NEED to share it with you all djfgbjdfg.

I’m including a bit from last session as well, since it’s also really good and helps set the scene.

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) A sizable white boat bobbing in the slight surf. Purple text on the side proclaims it "The Partridge."

The Partridge has an outside deck on the bow with some seats, and an inside room where the wheel is, lined with comfy couches. Before you cast off, Sakio addresses you all. "Hunters. You've done some truly amazing work. This isn't much of a celebration, but I hope you take some time to relax, and enjoy yourselves." She beams at you all. "I'm deeply proud of you for the steps you've taken within both Fractals and your own lives. I hope you can all find some pride in those accomplishments as well."

And the boat rumbles to life, and pushes out into the open ocean.

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) Blake slides into the cabin and takes a seat on one of the couches, returning to their book.

Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena is gonna sit down on the same couch as Blake, and let out a weary sigh. "What'chu reading?"

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) “Ah,” they look up, not having noticed her at first.

“Oh, you know me,” they say with a chuckle. “Just another mystery novel…” They shake their head. “Though this particular series feels like it’s going downhill…” they sound a little sad at that, turning the book over in their hands.

Lena Tarr (Dave) She chuckles. "Honestly, I couldn't tell. I don't get those at all." She nods to the book. "Everything's so. Complicated. But in kinda dumb ways."

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) And they flash their a smile. “Yes, I suppose I can understand that. Although the world can be kind of like that too, can’t it?” And they give a little chuckle.

Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena grins. "Oh, you know it. Like. The thing with those three fucks? Dumb as all shit." She shrugs. "You can't escape it though. You can't just say that it's dumb and make them leave. You gotta." She twirls the cane in her hands. "Do something."

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) They give her an uncertain look and then turn back to their book, idly flipping the pages in their hands. “Unfortunate as it is, I have to agree. Inaction is rarely the solution to anything. In fact, passivity is probably one of the traits that bothers me the most…” They grin a little as they say that.

Lena Tarr (Dave) "Hm." She keeps twirling her cane. "I don't know if one of those bastards came to you too, or someone else reached out to you, but I guess you should know. The dude I punched came to the campus. Made sure I knew the next time I get in his way it'll be bad." She grins at the floor. "Damned if you do, damned if you don't."

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) They look back up, a little surprised. “Ah.” And they rest the book in their lap, expression becoming more serious, crossing their arms over their chest. “I see… in that case, we should be even more careful. And we ought to be proactive…” they adjust their glasses. “We don’t want to instigate conflict, but we also can’t let them step on us… you’re right that it’s a tricky situation.” They whip out their phone, typing something. “I’d prefer not to get you alone with him if we can help it. Chances are, if you’re in a group, he’ll back down. And if he doesn’t…” they shrug, their expression serious. “We can take him.”

Lena Tarr (Dave) She throws the cane from one hand to the other. "We shouldn't have to though. Heh." She bends over slightly and puts her weight on the cane. "Not like that changes anything." She thinks for a second. "I'm. Sorry. For making it worse." She snorts. "Probably won't be the last time."

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) They chuckle a little. “Did you come here with the intention to bum me out…?” They smile, eyes on their feet, looking a little distant. “I’m not the type to happily let other people get stepped on if it makes my own life easier,” and they pause, catching the irony in that with a little smile. “Regardless of what you may have heard about me.” They shrug. “Whatever you may do, you’re a part of this team. And that means we will back up whatever actions you take. If you’ve picked this fight, then we’ll finish it. Simple as that.” And they give you a cheery little smile, one crafted for the cameras, though somehow it feels a little more genuine here, just a bit.

Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena looks at them for a moment, before leaning back on the couch, just a bit more relaxed. "You're really something, Leto. Really something." And she's smiling too.

**********

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) I don't know boats very well, but Sammy is probably laying down on the deck of the boat somewhere-- not on a chair, like...on the floor-- if you want to go say hewwo--

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse follows Sammy onto the outer deck, happy to be in the sun and to feel the breeze. They enjoy the sensation for a moment, then approach Sammy. “Mind if I join you?”

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy is already flat on the ground, staring straight into the sun. They look at Ilse, "Please do!" they can't hide the excitement in their voice.

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) “Thank you” Ilse smiles widely and sits down, then fishes out of their bag and holds a pair of sunglasses over Sammy’s head. “Not to disturb your view, but I have them spare. Would you like them?”

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy is startled by the sudden darkness the sunglasses have caused, but they quickly grab a hold of them. "F-For me? You're giving these to me?" Sammy sits up and scans the boat and sky, holding the shades up in front of them instead of putting them on. "I can really have these? You're giving me magic glasses?" Sammy looks at Ilse to confirm if they're serious or not.

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse is a bit taken aback by that strong reaction, and they rub the back of their neck before answering. “Not magic, I’m sorry, but yes. You can have them. Only if you want them, of course.”

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy pauses for a long time, looking at you through the not-so-magic shades. There's a brief moment when you can see a tear start to roll down Sammy's face, but they quickly turn the other way. "I don't mind if they're not magic...you gave them to me, so I'm going to keep them forever..." Sammy wipes their eyes with their sleeves before turning back to Ilse. "I love them! Thank you!" Sammy gasps like they just had the BEST idea in the world. They grab their bag, that was always next to them and I totally didn't forget that they had this-- and start digging through it. After a bit, they pull out a small, clay, goat figurine. "Here! This will be my magic gift to you, for giving me magic glass!" They placed the goat figurine on your head instead of in your hands. "This is the lucky goat! They're super lucky and if you take them to the park on Wednesdays, the ice cream man will appear!" Sammy looks serious, so you can't tell if they're joking around or not.

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse stares at Sammy, first wondering if they did something wrong, then actively worried. They lift their hand, unsure what to do, before Sammy starts to speak and they leave the hand simply hanging, eyes following every of Sammy’s movements. Then, a goat on their head. Very carefully and still they reach for it, slowly lower it toward the gaze. “It’s beautiful. Thank you. I will be at the park next Wednesday. Will take it with me.” They look just as serious as Sammy.

**********

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) sakio's up on the outer deck, watching the waves

she's got a wide-brimmed yellow hat on

Camellia Pavel (Rhela) Camellia has been mostly quiet, bundled up and clearly not a fan of the cold. They sluggishly get up and trot over to sit by Sakio. "You seem awfully sunny despite being out in this freezing wet crap," they say good naturedly, if a bit grumpy.

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) She just shrugs, one hand on her hat, sending a smile at you. "I'm with good company," she says, raising her voice a little to be heard over the waves, but maintaining a soft tone. "Besides that, the semester's over. No more grading until March." She laughs. "Plenty more time to prioritize you all, before Spring semester begins. I don't have to feel guilty about giving you special treatment."

Camellia Pavel (Rhela) "I guess we HAVE kinda gotten the 'teacher's pet' status, for lack of better words. Maybe even exceeded," they smirked.

"I certainly suppose a break from your main job is welcome."

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Hm," Sakio says, and you can barely hear her. She takes a moment to just watch the waves. "Teaching is my passion. I wouldn't have taken the job if it hadn't been. Being a dean though...I can't say it's brought me a surplus of joy. It's a dirty job, I suppose, but someone has to do it. Might as well be me." She brushes a strand of hair behind one ear. "How are you, by the way?"

Camellia Pavel (Rhela) They bark a soft laugh. "True, true." A sudden gust of chilly wind rushed across the boat, making Camellia momentarily hunker further into their coat. "Ah, well enough. With some recent financial assets I've lived a bit more comfortably these past weeks. And I've been making more crafts as of late. It's eased my mind quite a deal."

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "That's good," she says, nodding slightly. "Very good." A deep breath in, and out. "I'm a little curious, if you don't mind me asking. I've been thinking back to when we first met, and I can't seem to wrap my head around..." Sakio purses her lips. "On second thought, I don't believe I need to know. Perhaps it would simply be best for me to trust you, all of you, and leave well enough alone."

Camellia Pavel (Rhela) Camellia's eyes narrow momentarily, unsure and curious where Sakio's train of thought was heading. They huff a short chuckle as their gaze softens and diverts to the water below. "Well... I'll trust your trust."

**********

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) You all take a nice long boat ride, slowing a few times to admire distant sea lions on the shore or when Valerie thinks she spots a whale (she says it three separate times and at no point do you ever see a whale). After a few long hours, when the sun is starting to get a little lower in the sky, the Partridge is going to pull back into the Long View dock.

Lena Tarr (Dave) lena absolutely fell asleep

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) lena and camellia nap buddies? djhfbgjh

Lena Tarr (Dave) god knows we are sleeping!!!

in a warm little pile

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy is also napping, but you can't tell because they're wearing their new cool shades in the same "I am looking directly at the sun" position--

*****

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) Camellia. It's dark. The lights that normally light the campus are all off. And you're running after someone. They're faster than you, which shouldn't be right, because you and them should always be at the same pace, you've always been in lock step but now they're ten paces ahead of you. It's like a game, except that you can't afford to lose, and they won't slow down. Frey won't wait for you.

Camellia Pavel (Rhela) They're panting, air entering their lungs like cold briars constricting in their chest as fire sears in their legs. Old shoes frantically hit the pavement and the noise echoes among the darkened campus as they run and run, but can't seem to catch up. "Frey, stop -- just stop! Please slow down, I can't reach you!"

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) And they turn midstep, and laugh. "Come on flower child," they say, and their voice is familiar, and yet not quite the way it should be. Like two tones woven together. "You know you're too high up by now. You're too close." And they hop over a small ledge.

When you follow, when you hop over that ledge too, your feet catch and you stumble and the campus is gone. And so is Frey. And you can see the world, from up here. Up on the edge of some shiny purple surface, staring down at the curvature of a violet Earth, neuron stars shifting across its infinite expanse.

"Too close," Frey's voice echoes. "Too close. Too close."

Camellia Pavel (Rhela) Camellia's breath comes in short panicked bursts as their head jerks back and forth, surveying their surroundings. Their face is disgusting, gummy with sweat, tears, and flecks of drool that glisten in the low purple glow. "I--," they gasp out. "What...?"

"I don't understand,"

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) You're standing on the edge of an enormous flower, on one of the petals, its stem stretching down and down and down until it bleeds into the world, bursts through its skin and spreads roots. Or, maybe it's the other way around.

Too close.

And a petal snaps off. Not the one you're on, but it drifts down, falling and falling.

Too far.

A petal snaps off.

Too close.

A petal snaps off.

Too far.

A petal snaps off.

Too close.

And you snap off. And plummet towards the world at a thousand miles an hour, like a shooting star.

And then you wake up. It's morning. You're covered in sweat, back in your apartment.

Camellia Pavel (Rhela) Camellia chokes out a gasp as they awaken, panting as they stared glass-eyed at the ceiling. "A nightmare...? they wonder. They breathe shakily and turn on their side, curling in on themself. "Or something more? I don't... I don't know anymore..." Sheets are pulled up over their head as they hide away from the lingering threads of the dream, as if still a child hiding away from the monsters they imagined dancing in the shadows of their closet.

**********

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) If possible, Ilse would like to go to the park in the hope of getting some ice cream. I was also thinking of doing a Twitch scene, but I don’t know if they would invite him along

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) Ilse just texts twitch like “hey check this shit out I’ve got a magic goat”

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) He's got his hood up, and he looks a little bit like a zombie, kinda dazed, but he seems happy enough to join.

"So, uh," he mumbles, "park. There's an ice cream place downtown, you know. I mean, it kinda sucks, but it's there." The ice cream shop in question has like...exclusively artistically ice creams, nonsense hippie flavors that all taste 90% the same.

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse nods, eyes scanning the surrounding. “It...definitely is, yeah. But we might be lucky and have an ice man arriving here today? Or any ice person?” They twist the little goat in their hands. “I’m sorry if it was all for nothing in the end. If you’ll allow me then, I’ll invite you for a cup at the other place” Suddenly their eyes light up. “Care for a bet?”

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) Twitch raises an eyebrow. "Um, I'm not really...a betting person?" He shrugs. "I guess...uh, sure. Bet on whether ice cream shows up?"

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) “Bet on whether ice cream shows up!” They grin. “Wrong guess pays for the sweets?”

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Hm." Twitch takes a look around the empty park, and then down at the goat. "Okay. Uh. Yeah, sure. You're on." No sooner has he said that than you hear a distant jingle that causes Twitch to freeze in place, and you both see an elderly man behind a pushcart stroll into the park. "That...usually doesn't fuck me over that quickly." He gives a skewed little smile. "I'm buying?"

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse shakes their head in awe when they see the pushcart. “Honestly, I was pretty sure I would be the one paying. So...only if you want to.” They return the smile, a bit shy, then straighten up. “I bet this one’s going to be better than what they have downtown.”

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Probably." His smile is a little more honest now. "I think, uh, I'm getting hungry! So let's go!" And he rushes ahead to the cart.

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse smiles, pets the goat slightly before putting it in the pocket of their pants and rushing after Twitch.

**********

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) What place could be used for proficiency/agility skill points? I’m sorry I’m forgetting all the details

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) proficiency isssss Camellia's favored back alley, i believe

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ah, yeah! Thank you! Can I go there and also look for a trinket to possibly gift Puck?

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) hmm

okay i will say "yes and", absolutely djfbgjh but i will let u know that buttering up Puck is only gonna get you so far, because im gating Fool requirements behind plot beats djfbgjh

you don't find much of anything, but then you hear a calm voice over your shoulder. "Yo, you're uhhh, the fuckin, sporty lady and little goat buddy's friend, right?" And Theo crouches down next to you. "Whatcha looking for? Didja drop something?" He immediately begins searching as well.

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Gghgggh!!!

Lena Tarr (Dave) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) The real treasure was Theo all along

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) “Oh” Ilse’s first instinct is to move a step back or to the side and give Theo space, but then they realize what he’s doing. “Thank you, yeah, I think I am...didn’t drop anything, was just looking. Of I could find something nice or interesting. Something one could give to a friend who likes trinkets and stuff?” They scratch their neck and look up for a moment. “Nothing to worry about, but thank you”

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Ohhh," Theo says. And he plops back, reclining on the ground. "Totally getcha. Like, last year I tried to get Bee a seashell, but Long View is like...not a good place for shells. Or water. Or surfing." He lets out a long, melancholy sigh. Then he perks up. "Oh! Like, instead of the shell, I made her some brownies, so maybe..." Theo reaches into his bag and then smacks a plastic-wrapped cookie into your hand. "Here you go, dude. Snack for your pal."

Ilse Belanger (Ralu) Ilse’s eyes wides, and once they realize the cookie is already in their hand, there’s no giving back, the look into Theo’s face, still a bit flabbergasted. “That’s not necessary, but...thank you. Cookies are always a great idea” They smile at him. “Thank you”

**********

Lena Tarr (Dave) ok ok ok. i am thinking.

that i wanna bother someone. so im wondering what masumis doing fdgdfgdf

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) heck yeah djfgbjh

Masumi is still on campus during break. Plus since she's your RA, you have her number.

Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena is gonna camp out in the common area until she sees her fgdfgdf

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) She walks out of her room with a towel around her head, stares at you, walks back into her room and five minutes later comes back out with dry hair and a glare that could cut through concrete. "What?" she says.

Lena Tarr (Dave) She stretches casually, like she wasn't waiting for Masumi, specifically, to show up. "Nothing much. What's up?"

Blake Leto (Jane 🐈) Important question: did Masumi change into her full fuckin suit during that time or is she wearing somethin more casual Bc if she took the time to get the whole suit on that’s so powerful

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) oh djfgbjhdgf she's wearing like...a black skirt and a white button up i think. still formal, but compared to her normal outfit it's very relaxed.

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) Masumi just sort of squints at you, tilting her head slightly. "I'm on break," she says, bluntly. "What do you think?"

Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena sighs. "Fair enough." She leans back, brows furrowing. "I'll be fast. You know Sakio pretty well, right?"

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "As well as the President of the Student Council can and should know one of her teachers who is also the dean of Humanities," Masumi replies immediately. "I've worked with her enough to know her type. That's all you need to know."

Lena Tarr (Dave) She tilts her head to the side. "And what's that type like?"

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) Masumi sighs, adjusts her hair. "Saint Sakio," she says, her tone quiet and bitter. "The self appointed virtuous paragon, decrier of all hypocrisies but her own, leaping at her own sword just for the chance it might help someone else." She rolls her eyes. "She's an idiot, and she's stubborn, and she thinks she's right."

Lena Tarr (Dave) Lena nods, thinks for a bit. "Do you think that." She clicks her tongue. "Has her stubbornness ever done. More harm than good? In your opinion?"

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Unquestionably," she says. "She's a teacher, through and through. More a propensity for talking than listening." A clear sore spot, and Masumi seems to catch herself, her tone evening out. "But that's not to say that she's technically incorrect, all the time. She's talented and experienced and intelligent, and she knows that. Which makes the task of challenging her on those blind spots all the more daunting."

Lena Tarr (Dave) "Fuck if you aren't right." She drags a hand across her face. "Thanks." She leans her head back, staring at the ceiling. "I really. Hate teachers. And directors."

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) "Hm." Masumi brushes a strand of hair behind one ear in almost the same way as you've seen Sakio do, often enough. "I suppose we have that in common." And with that, she heads off.

**********

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) There's a box in your closet. And I think there's been a few days where the thought of opening it has crossed your mind, you've maybe wanted to, but so far every time you have decided to leave it closed.

Today is one of the days when you think about that box.

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy opens up their closet on the left side. They've hesitated for long enough. "Okay...Okay..." They slowly drag the box out from the closet, the weight on top stays put. They take a deep breath in. and a deep breath out. "I can't keep hiding from you... I need to know..." They pick up the weight with ease, as if picking up a small rock, and place it back down on the floor. "You can do this..." They close their eyes and...take off the lid.

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) It smells like dust. You can't see anything with your eyes closed. Churro is probably butting his head against your arm and making little mrow noises.

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy opens their eyes. Still scared of what awaits them inside. They've thought about this moment forever, what kind of awful message awaits them inside? Maybe it's a note that says "loser" or something...Sammy takes a look inside.

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) The three items on the very top of the small pile are a flower made out of popsicle sticks that you gave to her, a bubble blower that you used to play together with, and a piece of crumpled paper. Upon closer inspection, it's a very messy drawing of your Fractals outfit, with smudged text pointing to different sections of the costume. "Goat tail? Do goats have tails?" and "Very very green" and "Make sure there's room for their horns!" At the very top of the page, it says: "Poncho for Sammy." Underneath those is a photo album.

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy carefully and slowly takes out every item one by one. They can't help but feel saddened by the flower on top. The first gift they ever gave her. Why would she leave that? Then the bubble blower and then the paper of their poncho. "I was wondering where you put these...I tried to find them the day I went looking for you but..." They pick up the photo album. They're silent for a long time before opening it up. Pictures of Sammy...Pictures of Churro...Pictures of... "Tango..." Sammy flips through all the pages.

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) There's so many photos there that you recognize. Of you, of her, of the both of you. The farther you go, there's less of you, less of her. More nature, and abstraction, and strangers. And more empty spaces, photos absent from where they should be. Until finally, on the very last page, there's just a single photo - one you don't recognize. A silhouette of a young woman with long hair, blowing a dandelion across a dark sky. There's text underneath: "Daisy" and a little heart drawing.

And underneath the photo album, at the bottom of the box, is a flyer from a big music concert that happened in your sophomore year of high school, with a smudged phone number you can't read and a lipstick mark in the bottom corner.

And beneath that is a very carefully, politely folded piece of paper. "For Sammy" it says.

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Sammy is already fighting back tears from the drastic change the album had taken without them. They're less confused and more sad that they barely opened it up now. "Who...?" Sammy looks at the picture of the girl before picking up the little piece of paper. "Ah man...you shouldn't have..." They are very much crying at this point. They unfold the paper, joking, "What wonderful masterpiece have you granted me as a last goodbye?"

Everyone Else (DaxieVane) sammy,

if you are reading this, then i am somewhere very far away now. i dont know how far, and i dont know where i'll end up. im sorry. i don't want to leave, but i know i might have to. you know i'm bad at keeping secrets, and i've been keeping one for a long time. even from you. i'm so sorry, but if i'm gone, then i can't ever come back.

i know it will hurt you, and it breaks my heart. you are my best and most wonderful friend, and i will miss you forever and always. i will miss you more than the sun misses the moon. more than the flower misses the bird. you made me want to love myself, because you loved me.

i know i must have hurt you by leaving. i don't ask you to forgive me, not for that. not for breaking my promise. but if you want me again, even as i can't return, i give you permission: come and find me.

your friend, always,

tangerine

Sammy Cabra (Nyanko) Every word feels like a punch to the heart. I'm sorry? I'll miss you? Sammy wipes their tears with their sleeve. "What...What? What is this...?" And then the last line, "Come find you..." It takes a minute for that to process, but when it does, Sammy bolts up straight. "COME FIND YOU!?" It feels like they've been given the key to the universe. That means they're definitely alive and definitely want to see them again...right? This isn't the loser message they were expecting at all, it's so much worse! "W-Where???" Then Sammy turns back to the photo album. "Daisy...girl Daisy....Daisy..." Sammy repeats this, making sure to engrave it into their mind. "I will! I'll do it! I'll find you!" Sammy picks up Churro, "We'll do it!!" And with that, they spend the rest of their night trying to piece everything together...although they're still a little lost.

**********

Sammy 🐐 Excuse me! Everyone! This is kind of an emergency and I'm sorry if this seems really random, but has anyone seen a girl named Daisy? And would anyone like to help me find a girl named Daisy... Or just a Daisy, it might be a flower, I'm not sure!!!!

Blake ✨ Are you alright? What kind of emergency are we talking about? I could certainly ask my contacts to look into this girl if you have a full name or any other details, but you’re saying it may also just… refer to the flower?

Sammy 🐐 Uhm! This is like...life or death to me!

Well maybe not that extreme, but... it's really really super important to me! She has long hair and uhm...she might be into music? I have a paper with some stuff on it I can show you the next time I see you. D:

And her name might be Daisy? that's all I can think of, I'm sorry...

Blake ✨ I… see. So to summarize, you’re searching for this girl, with only an idea of her first name, or what may be a nickname, and a vague understanding of who she is. Is there some connection to someone else? Do you have a photo?

I’d be more than happy to help you solve this little mystery of course, but first and foremost we’ll need intel.

Sammy 🐐 She...does have a connection but that.... doesn't exist right now. Uhm...I do have a photo! So does that mean you'll help me? :)

I'll bring everything to you first thing! thank you so much, Blakey! 🌟

#hunters highlights #the hunters #blake leto #ilse belanger #lena tarr #camellia pavel #sammy cabra #erin sakio #masumi saito #theo

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years ago

Text

notable moments from The Maltese Falcon Job

leverage 2.15

Hardison (checking phone): Guys, they are ripping through Nate and Tara's cover stories. All their financials are blown. So look, until I know what they know, no credit cards, no debit cards, no ATMs, nothing that can be traced back to us. OK? Cash in hand only.

- - - - -

Nevins (on phone): No, not a safe house. Interpol wants Culpepper someplace off our system. We're taking him to the Governor Hotel.

Nate: OK, that's it. That's where we're gonna hole up.

Tara: The Governor Hotel?

Nate: Yeah.

Tara: The hotel crawling with FBI?

Eliot: FBI and Interpol.

Nate: Yeah, you know, it's the one place in Boston they won't be lookin' for us. Come on, we just gotta get there first

smart

- - - - -

Tara: Oh, thank God! I just stepped out to get the paper and then my door closed behind me and I tried to find a house phone, but you guys don't have those anymore. (drops towel) Oops.

Man: Uh...

(Eliot and Parker look down the hall, then at each other, then down the hall)

parker, g i r l, close your mouth

they were both slightly Into It™ and you can’t change my mind

- - - - -

Hardison: In-room checkout. (sits down on bed with keyboard) OK, look, this means that I have access to the hotel's billing computers. It's a big ol' backdoor in every hotel room in America. (hacks system) As of right now, we've been here for a week, and our reservations are good for another week, courtesy of this man's platinum card, Mr. Ogden Shields, who has spent a lot of time in the adult section of pay-per-view. I mean, did he even leave the room?

Parker: In-de-panties Day?

~ a few moments later ~

(Parker takes keyboard from Hardison’s hands)

Eliot: All right, I'm gonna go get some keys made. I'm goin' to the gym. Make sure I can charge stuff on the room.

Hardison: I gotcha.

(women moaning on TV)

Parker: Wow, she really wants that car clean.

Hardison: That’s-that's enough of that

parker is baby and hardison wants to protect her from that nastiness

- - - - -

Nate: Why do we care about him?

Hardison: 'Cause he's big on the surplus weapons market.

Eliot: (laughs) That's just a polite way of saying arms dealer.

Tara: His specialty's buying cheap guns from Third World countries and reselling 'em.

- - - - -

Nate: Don't worry about Sterling.

Eliot: Did you just say, "Don't worry about Sterling?"

Nate: Yeah, don't worry about Sterling. What you don't think I can beat Sterling?

Eliot: I think in the last six months, Nate, I've heard you talk about beating the Triads, beating the Russians. All right? Maggie's boyfriend. Huh? How'd that work out? We all said that meet was a bad idea, right? But you got a taste for taking down this Mayor and you can't resist.

Nate: You wanna walk away? Walk away.

Eliot: I'm not walkin' away. It's not my job. My job is to get your back. And, Nate, I'm gonna do it. All the way down. But I need you to do your job.

Nate: And what's that?

Parker: Be Nathan Ford. Be the person we came back for

PARKER BABY she showed emotion I’m so proud of her

- - - - -

(Eliot holds up the piece of paper taken from Bonanno’s house that reads ‘Maltese Falcon’)

Eliot: That's still bugging me, man.

we love to see eliot confiding/leveling with hardison

- - - - -

Parker: Ooh! But, uh, I have mini-bar.

her in the maid outfit with the french accent

+ HER WINK IM GAY

- - - - -

Nate: You help Tara and Parker. I'm gonna stall Sterling.

Hardison: How?

Nate: I'm thinking.

(Sterling gets into an elevator. Nate heads up the stairs, stopping at every floor to push the elevator button. Sterling begins to get irritated when the elevator stops at every floor but never sees Nate, who gets progressively more tired as they go upward)

[Hallway]

(Sterling gets off on the 14th floor. Behind him, Eliot pushes his cart into the elevator. Sterling glances at him but the door closes before he can get a good look. Sterling approaches the door the FBI agents are guarding)

petty and fucking ICONIC I wouldn’t have the stamina for that but neither would nate tbh and honestly he was probably running on pure spite to make that happen and I respect him for that

- - - - -

Parker: Housekeeping!

(she goes inside, pulling her cart in behind her. Once in the room, she finds Tara and Hardison in the window. Hardison is tangled in his line, and Tara is trying to help him)

Hardison: Ow. That's... Stop. Hey, I got this. Stop. I don't need help.

Tara: Clearly you do.

Hardison: I got this. I got this. Go.

LMFAO E V E R Y TIME

we love to see the running bit of hardison utterly FAILING at anything rappelling related

- - - - -

Culpepper: Where are the agents? Where are the agents? There should be two FBI agents standing at the door.

(Eliot walks in with Parker thrown over his shoulder)

Nate: Did you have to?

Eliot: She saw our faces.

Nate: OK. Yeah, put her in the tub with the others.

(Eliot takes her into the bathroom)

- - - - -

eliot can always knock a bitch out with one (1) punch

- - - - -

Sterling: So, I'm gonna make you a deal. You find Kadjic, tie him to the guns, I'll give you a free pass. Just this once, you get to walk away with your record wiped clean.

Nate: My team?

Sterling: They go down. Every last one of 'em. They deserve to go down. They're criminals, Nate. Thieves. So that's the deal. You bring me Kadjic and the guns, and I cut you and you alone loose. Because at the end of the day you're always right. You're not a thief. This is your second chance.

(Sterling picks up the flask and walks away)

this was actually really interesting to see. sterling leveled with nate. he knows nate, knows how he works, thinks he knows who nate really is on the inside. they have a Past™

- - - - -

Nate: Yeah. No. I... I, uh... Listen, I need you to come back. Um... I need you. Uh, I need you.

[Interior Helicopter]

Sophie: No, no, no. Speak up. I'm traveling and...

[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Not the team. Me. For me. Not for a con. I just... Listen, I... I don't know who I am anymore, Sophie. And, ah... When, when I was chasing you and everything and we were doing cons, I knew who I was, but not anymore. As crazy as this sounds, I need you to tell me, tell me when I'm goin' too far. I mean, it just... It gets out of control and I just don't know who I am and, and you've always been... .y compass. And, you know, I care about you more than yo-you'll ever know, because I lo... I lo...

lmfao when the signal is lost? tragic

- - - - -

eliot is wearing a flannel in the final scenes

- - - - -

the obama portrait very visible in the background of the government building? we love to see it

- - - - -

eliot DING DONG WE’RE HOME spencer owns my whole (whole) heart

- - - - -

Nate: What are you doing?

Eliot: Countin' all the guys with guns.

Nate: How many?

Eliot: A lot

smart and TOTALLY an eliot thing to do

- - - - -

Parker: Don't worry. No one's ever died going in through an air duct.

Tara: Oh, this is comforting.

Parker: I mean, worst case, you slip and fall. Break your legs. Lay there for days, scratching on the metal. It's like a long, metal coffin with wind. (excited) Let's go!

(Parker runs across the roof)

she’s baby and I love her. never, ever change parker

- - - - -

Computer: Match identified.

Hardison (bending over keyboard): Damn, you finally found something, half-pint?

HE CALLS HIS COMPUTER HALF PINT ??? ICONIC

- - - - -

Hardison: Parker, where are you?

Parker: Sorry, had a buzz from the alarm system, I couldn't hear a... thing. What?

(Parker’s face hardens and she heads for Tara, who is putting the rappelling gear back in the oxygen tank)

Tara: Parker, what's wrong?

(Parker grabs Tara by the throat and pushes her back until she is leaning over the edge of the building)

~~~

Tara: You're really strong.

Parker: Yeah. I hang from buildings with my fingertips.

Tara: It's not what you think. I was setting up a meeting!

Parker: Actually, that was exactly what I was thinking. Bye now.

Tara: Not for myself

- - - - -

ANNIE KROY IS BACK

- - - - -

(Eliot, his hands tied, is being led to some stairs by two goons.)

Man: I'll get the hatch.

(one man moves ahead of Eliot while the other stays behind him. When Eliot doesn’t follow the first man up the stairs, the second pushes him)

Man 2: Come on.

Eliot: Thirteen.

(Eliot and the second man struggle, sending gunfire rifling across the ceiling before the second man is knocked down. The first man comes back and kicks Eliot in the face. Eliot kicks him in return)

Eliot: Come here!

(Eliot swings his hands across the first man’s face, knocking him back)

Eliot: Twelve.

(Eliot knocks the first man out)

Eliot: Eleven.

(Eliot starts up the stairs, but hears someone else coming and waits around a corner. After a brief struggle, he knocks this man out as well and breaks the zip ties on his wrist)

Eliot: Ten. (heads up the stairs

HOOOOO BOY

MARK ME DOWN AS SCARED AND HORNY

also if parker and hardison know what he was doing? they’d be marked down as the same

- - - - -

Tara: All she asked was that I report back to her every now and then. Are we sure this is the fastest way?

Parker: Yeah, look. (looking at car GPS) There's no traffic this way. So, you were spying on us.

Tara: I was not spying. I was an early warning system. Sophie just, she was worried Nate might go off the rails. So, if it ever looked like he was spinning out of control, I was supposed to call and let Sophie lay in a backup plan just in case.

Parker: Yeah. Why not us?

Tara: Because you were too likely to forgive him.

Parker: I suppose gettin’ busted by the FBI and trying to bring down arms dealers while kidnapping a mayor does qualify as out of control.

Tara: So, anyway, I used my contacts to get Sophie set up as a buyer for the guns. You know... You actually had me worried for a second that you were gonna drop me.

Parker (laughs): That is silly

- - - - -

(Hardison is carrying a large monkey wrench and smiling. He hears noises and goes to investigate, seeing Eliot starting up a ladder)

Hardison: Hey. It took you long enough.

Eliot: What?

(Eliot starts toward Hardison, but a man points a gun to his head)

Man: Freeze.

(Eliot grabs the gun and knocks the man out)

Eliot: One.

Hardison: What

hardison if he knew what eliot was doing: hot damn

- - - - -

(the team gathers together. Parker hugs Sophie)

Sophie: Ooh. Parker touching.

Parker: Kinda, yeah.

- - - - -

Eliot: There's not that many ways out of here.

Sophie: Eliot, when I arrange a rescue, I do it properly.

(a helicopter lands on the docks near the ship. The team heads down the stairs, but Nate hesitates, looking down at the blood on his hand from his side. He goes down the ladder to join the team on the lower deck)

- - - - -

Nate: I've destroyed all the evidence the FBI has on Culpepper and Kadjic. You have no photos, no tapes, you don't have anything. You don't have a case on anybody, unless you arrest me. And only me.

Sophie: Nate?

Nate: I agree to turn state's evidence. I testify to what Kadjic told me, how he put the hit on Bonanno. Hell, I'll even give you Bonanno's evidence against the gunrunning.

Eliot: Nate, I can take these guys.

Hardison: It's just ten more yards to the chopper, man.

Nate: Listen, guys. I got you into this mess. This is the only way to get you out.

eliot is still ready to fight for his family no matter what and hardison just wants them to leave because they’re SO CLOSE

- - - - -

Nate: Come here.

(the team moves closer to him)

Nate: You guys are the most honorable people I have ever met in my life. You've become my family. My only family. I won't forget that. (looks at Eliot) Now get 'em on the chopper. Please. Now!

Eliot: Let's go.

(Eliot nudges Parker and she reluctantly heads for the gangplank. Eliot touches Hardison’s arm)

Eliot: Let's go, man.

(Hardison walks away. Eliot hesitates a moment, shaking his head, then follows the others, hesitating at the top of the gangplank near Sterling)

nate trusts eliot, and only eliot, to be the one to be able to get the rest of the team out of there and into the helicopter. he knows eliot and how much he cares for his family and will do anything to make sure they’re safe, and nate is betting on that to get them out of there

eliot has to be the one to make parker and hardison move because they’ll listen to him and also there would be a good chance that they’d try to stay with Nate otherwise

his gentle hands leading them away have my whole (whole) heart

- - - - -

(Sophie and Eliot get on the helicopter, Eliot hesitating one last time before getting in)

this hurts eliot so much because he’s the RETRIEVAL SPECIALIST and he’s supposed to get everyone safe and never leave anyone behind I’m-

- - - - -

Agent: Who the hell is this guy?

Sterling: I don't know.

Nate: My name's Nate Ford, and I am a thief.

(more sirens are heard. Nate begins laughing as the helicopter lifts off and more police cars and agents arrive, surrounding Nate and the dock. Nate watches the helicopter fly away)

MAJOR character development for nate this season (2.01 had him refusing that he was a thief and in multiple other episodes in this season)

oh and also, y’all, just like last season, if I had to watch this go down like that with my own two eyes and have that be the end of leverage (because they close every season like it’d be the last) I would have fucking R E V O L T E D

#leverage #leverage 2.15 #leverage 2x15 #the maltese falcon job #leverage season 2 #season 2 #notable moments #mine

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dontasktheradiodemon · 4 years ago

Text

Party in Pentious’ Parlor - roundabouts Oct 24

In which Angel (@sluttyspiderpolkacock) and Alastor come over to Sir Pentious’s (@hiss-and-vinegar) and Valera’s (@autokrates) hotel room for a little hangout/party. Which is interrupted when the eggs that Valera’s been carrying decide now is the perfect time to escape.

Things get very exciting and dramatic for a bit there, especially considering that the eggs aren’t even fertilized.

Highlights include: Angel and Alastor getting invited, respectively, to be Valera’s babe of honor and Sir Pentious’s best man; Valera repeatedly going This Is Fine :) while laying fucking eggs; Alastor deciding teleporting a bunch of booze bottles into midair and letting them crash on the carpet is a great idea; Angel getting all emotionally invested in a bunch of eggs before learning they’re duds; and Sir Pentious fainting in the bath tub.

Valera

Party in Pentious' Parlor is go! Alastor was set to bring snacks, but Valera had prepared drinks for the evening in advance. A few bottles of various alcohols had been set aside, alongside chilled water and a few juices to either enjoy on their own or for mixing purposes. One last look around, hands on her hips. Drinks, check. Entertainment... Some ASMR videos and an eclectic assortment of movies they could fall back on if the music wasn't enough.

Yeah, that seemed sufficient. This wasn't a proper soiree with the nobility, no need to break out the band. A waggle of her fins, and she drops down on the couch, the door to Pentious' suite opening at the flick of her wrist. Prrprrprr

Sir Pentious

Ah, excellent. A party! Sir Pentious didn't sit around doing nothing, he was at the very least helping set things up and throwing Eggbois out of the room.

Valera looked close to bursting and he'd be redamned if he'd let her fall down or something equally as embarrassing. Tail support whenever necessary. Once everything was all set up, he coiled up by the couch, chin resting on his hands as he lay his elbows on himself.

"THE PARTY LOOKS EXQUISITE, MY DEAR."

Valera

Throwing out the eggbois was a monumental task in and of itself, there was always another one popping out of a drawer wearing Val's bra as a headpiece.. Or maybe that was just the one time. Either way, the room was sufficiently cleared for the evening, and that meant Val could take this brief privacy to reach over and slide her hand into Pentious'. Once they had proper guests, he'd most likely try to maintain a bit of distance, so. Best to get her sappiness in now.

"Couldn't have done it without your help, dearest. Are you excited?"

Sir Pentious

"I SUPPOSE I AM! WILL I GET TO SHOOT ANYONE THIS TIME AS WELL? NYAAAA HA HAAAAAAA!"

Nothing like an incredibly loud maniacal laugh right next to your head. Pentious ASMR. His fingers glide over the ring, and he *beams*.

Valera

She snorts, scooting closer to press a kiss to Penny's cheek. Hard to imagine a time when that cackle had been enough to startle her out of sleep. She barely even noticed it now.

"You're not allowed to shoot Angel Dust. Alastor is at your discretion. But if you do, warn me so I can start recording."

Sir Pentious

He's grinning so wide, "FROM THE CONVERSATION THAT WE HAD BEFORE, I DOUBT HE'LL DO ANYTHING THAT COULD WARRANT MY SHOOTING HIM!! HE SEEMS TO WANT TO REMAIN ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOR AROUND ME! WHICH I AM FINE WITH, I DO NOT HAVE TO WATCH OVER MY SHOULDER."

He will anyway, because he's Sir Pentious.

Valera

"He's certainly desperate to befriend you, love. Though actually, that does remind me. In the interest of not having this party go the way Broadway almost did.." An unpleasant memory even now! They'd talked after, sure, but he'd been so upset. The guilt lingered for *weeks.* Her hand squeezes his, tight as she dares.

"I'm going to need you to set the boundaries here. I'll follow your lead, but. Some kind of structure to fall back on would help. Obviously I'm not going to try and straddle you in the middle of the party, but. You know." A wiggle of their clasped hands. She's not sure even THIS would be alright!

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is watching her with his big wide eyes, watching all of her gesturing and fin flicks. What?? Oh.

He waves a hand, "I AM FINE WITH CONTACT. AS LONG AS ANGEL DUST DOES NOT TRY ANY UNTOWARD ADVANCES ON MY PERSONAGE, THEN I WILL NOT RAISE A FUSS."

Valera

That was both reassuring and completely not helpful at the same time. A sigh, and she smiles at him, a glint of mischief entering her eyes.

"Alright, got it. Drape across your coils and hang off you like a designer scarf."

Sir Pentious

"IF YOU INSIST."

He shrugs! Look at him, this man is socialized to his fish wife. He's really to have a party!!

Valera

Oh. That wasn't the reaction she'd expected. She's caught a bit off guard there, but she manages to dull her reaction down to a nonplussed sort of stare instead of an outright sputter. A few weeks ago he'd have stared at her _aghast_ at the very _idea_ of the faintest whisper of PDA.

"Oh. Well, alright then! I'd expected-- Nevermind." She clears her throat, shifting to sit up properly. "Come here then. I'm not going to make my fiance sit on the floor in his own suite. I'm sure the couch can handle both of us just fine."

Sir Pentious

He slowly uncoils himself, sliding up onto the couch and leaning her head to his shoulder.

A few weeks ago, he hadn't proposed. He was *flying.*

Valera

Well wasn't this nice? Look at him go! From barely tolerating a hand hold to _manually placing_ her head on his shoulder. Not that she'd resisted in the slightest, her arms had wrapped around him the second she clued in on what he was trying to accomplish. Is this fiance privilege? Must be. Gods only know what he'll decide to okay when they're actually married.

Prrr..

Alastor

The party don't start until the Radio Demon walks in because the Radio Demon is the only guy in Hell who always shows up to a party with snacks, and not crappy snacks like a single bag of chips. And also because as far as the Radio Demon was concerned the party did not actually exist until he was present to observe it.

"Hello~! Now, look at this—THIS is a room to have an event in! My! When you check out, we'll have to leave it like this to hold special events." He set a large tray covered in tiny sandwiches next to the drinks, and then poured himself some juice. Gotta have a glass of something in his hand. "That plate on the top right has Veci meat, by the way—I believe both of you had a hand in getting that to me?" He nodded to Valera and Sir Pentious.

Valera

Now, normally Valera would extract herself from Pentious the second she caught the faintest hints of static in the air. But with this sudden shift in boundaries, and the level of comfort she's at? She doesn't even move beyond raising a hand to wave hello to their first guest of the evening. If anything she lays herself out further, giving her fiance a little squeeze as she flashes Alastor her most winning smile.

"Ooh, I'll have to try those later! Glad you could make it, Alastor. Come have a seat, we've just been chit chatting about what we've been up to the last few days. Katsu's been doing his damndest to stress me out, it seems."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is a happy snake! C: What a good smile. At the sight of Alastor, he perks up a little more, his hood opening just a touch and he wiggles his talons in the deerman's direction. Ah! Meat of that shark-like veci that Penny shot to death at the first ever party he'd been to with Valera's people. What a fun evening that was.

Angel

Failing to show fashionably late would've been such a movie star faux pas, especially for the most ( in ) famous porn actor in all of Hell. He wasn't irresponsible, however, as he too touted platters and platters of baked goods he'd ( compulsively ) spent the last 24 hours baking ( of his complete and total free will ) . Six of them. A rather ambitious balancing act for the ways his bones begged he BOOGEY, but if nothing else, he was a Pro.

" VALERA ~ ! BABY ~ ! " Angel belted a dramatic entrance as a pop of his hip bumped the door fully ajar. " Good ta see ya! " A nod to each the other gentleman as he set the breadths of his labors beside the other snacks. " Tell me if I'm wrong, but I believe THESE are ya favorites? " He kept the last plate on his person to bring to the lounging couple, a flourish of frosted silver upon their laps. Saving himself the potential conflict of planting a kiss on Valera's forehead, he saluted back to Alastor.

" Ya get dibs on the muffins, Smiles, since I know ya liked 'em ~ "

Alastor

Oh what was Angel doing with snacks? Alastor was to be the snack supplier. Hmph.

On the other hand: more snacks. And Angel's got to do something to offload his recent surplus, Alastor supposed. "Very generous!"

He grabbed a muffin, pulled up a chair near the couch, sat, and replied to Valera's comment. "That's your... nephew, isn't it? Why, what sort of trouble is he getting himself into?"

Valera

If she hadn't been wrapped around Pentious, Valera would have flung herself at Angel, eggs or no eggs. Alas, she must settle for beaming up at her favorite spider as she takes one of her, oh yes, _very much_ favorite treats. "Darlin', I'm so glad to see you. Wouldn't be the same without you here!"

Give her a moment while she devours a snack, _then_ she can turn her attention to Alastor, settling back down against Pentious to _bask_. "The very one. The silly boy thinks he has to use his power to try and fix everything he sees." A pointed raise of her eyebrow at the radio demon. Oh yes, she knows. "Negotiating with demons, throwing himself into danger.. You know, the average hero complex."

Sir Pentious

Oh Angel was here. Sir Pentious' head does that Cobra-esque head movement of sizing someone up as the spider-demon walks in, holding platters of snacks. Hmm! Those would have to be investigated, though for the moment he was content to remain here with his tail slithered all around the couch. He is Looking.

"A FOOLISH LAD, INDEED. WASTING HISSS TIME ON A HERO COMPLEX, HE COULD BE TAKING MATTERSSSS INTO HISSS OWN HANDSSS TO CRUSH HISSS ENEMIES AND NAYSSSAYERSSS."

He's looking up at Angel, still, though the comment was not pointed towards him.... and then he's kind of looking away... What does one SAY to Angel Dust without provoking him or being provoked in return? Hmm. A thought comes to mind! "SSSO! WHAT KIND OF FAVORSSS AM I PRIVY TO, ANGEL DUSSST?" Oh, that part.

Angel

Deepset chuckles reverberated his fluff as he draped his long limbs over the far end of the couch, an idle hand affectionately twirling a strand of Valera's hair. " They ain't SPIKED or anythin', Pen! Ya have my word I wouldn't be doin' that ta y'all ~ " he responded with a fingergun followed by a sneer, " Unless, a course, ya wanna cash in that favor I owe YOU fa layin' off m'boss. THEN we can 'ave us one a MY parties! "

His many eyes glazed over the display as he trailed his snickers. Protein was probably a safer bet than all the carbs he'd inadvertently been loading upon himself. He quickly realized how increasingly WEAK he became for good food the more time he spent at the hotel. Moderation. He'd be fine with moderation. Angel easily reached across the spread for the smallest sandwich to painstakingly nibble on.

" Youse gotta do-gooder nephew? " he asked through pursed lips, " I... think I seen 'em. If he's doin' any DEALIN' though, can't 'elp but think a the usual resident suspect ~ " Angel bobbed the toe of his crossed leg in Alastor's direction. " So. What's my nephew-in-law been gettin' into? As resident drunk uncle, I'm obligated ta know an' give some super sus' advice. "

Alastor

He makes a mental note of which sandwich Angel went for; if he's gonna keep their hotel guest fed, he's got to know what he eats, doesn't he?

He shrugs off the accusation. Making deals with someone's nephew? Certainly isn't him. "Yes, do tell! You're going to have to unpack this 'do gooder' idea a little more for us! You see—in the part of the mortal realm where I came from, making deals with demons is the exact opposite of what a hero does."

Valera

Valera adjusts her position slightly, tail curling around to loosely drape over Angel Dust's waist. Affection for affection, who wouldn't appreciate having their hair played with by the prettiest spider in the joint? It was either that or a glorified seatbelt in case Pentious tried to shove him off. Either way, it's a *heavy* tail. "Oh you wouldn't believe it, Angel Dust. The boy's... Eighteen? Nineteen? And thinks he has to help everyone. Complete bleeding heart. That's only started getting shaken now, since his fool of a mother made a bad deal with Alastor and paid the price for it." A pause, and she nods towards Stick. "Not this one, I mean Match."

She sighs, eyes rolling. "I can't comment on the morality of dealing with demons, but. Apparently he thinks it could work out as long as he negotiated his terms better than she did. And he isn't *wrong*, necessarily, but why make a deal in the first place? Like Penny said, he's already powerful enough on his own without a demon's help."

Angel

" Ah, poor kid. I remember kids, but they were Forty-Two Gang kids. Not so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as ya nephew sounds... unless ya can count a fuckin' fix fa murder bright-eyed an bushy-tailed. I GUESS ya can... " He thought hard, more so mouthing a sliver of meat than having intention to chew and swallow. Yet.

" What's he tryna' get outta dealin' wit' a demon? Some fine print ta hilight? A loophole ta wiggle through an' give the basta'd a taste a their own medicine? If he's got any fresh takes on double crossin' the likes a the devils, I'm gonna 'aveta hit 'em up. " Dare he say he's been trying to do just that with his own deal he'd been trapped in for the last... eighty years or so...? No. He couldn't be doing that. What he did need was a drink. Angel placed his once-bitten sandwich on a napkin and went for an entire wine bottle as the thumb of another hand gently stroked Valera's tail for comfort. For anchoring. As they spoke, he was already hitting the clouds.

" He bein'... careful at least? Careful as ya can be when dealin' wit' a- ah fuck it. " Angel took out his phone as he took a long swig. " I'm givin' 'im a talkin to. What's his url again? "

Alastor

Paid the price, hah. Alastor would say it was his alternate who paid a price for her dissatisfaction with her bargain—but he supposes he's just a little bit biased, isn't he?

"Sounds bright-eyed and busy-tailed to me!" Alastor sees why Angel likes those kids. Heck, Alastor kinda likes them now and he hasn't even met them. "So, when you get right down to it, Katsu's motive is less heroism and more of an ego trip? Mommy makes a mistake and her baby boy wants to run out and do the exact same thing, just to prove to her that he can do it better?" Alastor scoffs. "How disrespectful. Childishly so."

He glances at Angel's barely touched sandwich. "I brought a half dozen different types if you don't like that one."

Valera

A shrug, and she squeezes her tail a little tighter around her legitimate and befluffed spider spouse. "Stolen-Godhood, Angel. With a hyphen. The url is literal, but he's a sweet kid. Fair warning that he'll call you uncle given the opportunity, he's big on found family."

Valera glances to Alastor, somewhere close to amused. "All he told me was he wanted to try to improve things. If that's an ego trip, it's an unusually selfless one. Though I think if I were his age I'd be inclined to do the same thing. Proving that you can do better than your elders is part of the standard teenage angst!" She squints, reaching out for a pair of sandwiches. One for herself, the other to drop into Pentious' hand. "..Though I think he'd fit in pretty well with those kids of yours, Angel. He's already offered massive violence on my behalf and *really* wants to steal the wallets from all my guests."

Sir Pentious

Oh! Excellent. A sandwich for Sir Pentious. He was going to have to get up for one but now he doesn't need to move, other than to lift the snack to his mouth and begin nibbling away. Mostly he's just been listening to this conversation about his foolish nephew that he did not know all too well, but one that seemed to desperately want to be close to him.

Found family, hmn... "DOES KATSSSU NOT HAVE ANYONE ELSSSSE? I ALWAYSSS THOUGHT MEREDITH LOOKED RATHER YOUNG TO BE HISSS MOTHER, BUT I AM ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY OR SO YEARS OLD, SSSO WHAT DO I KNOW?" A big grin, his eyes squinting into amused half moons before he turned to look over at Alastor, gesturing with the sandwich in hand.

"THESE ARE GOOD!"

Angel

" N-no! They're good! Ditto's ta Penny! I'm just, uh, pacin' m'self. Gotta keep this body flawless, ah ~ ? " he sang with another long swig before finally allowimg the bottle to dangle off the edge of the sofa, " I'll, er... try 'em all... " A lie? A wish? Not even he could tell, but he found himself distracted by a flurry of anonymous messages offering him affections.

" Uncle Angel's got a nice ring to it, " he mused, freeing his third set of hands run along the smooth, satisfying surface of that gorgeous tail, " Those lil' buggers are prolly runnin' around somewhere down 'ere, but if they ever found ME out, SHIT would I 'ave some fuckin' PROBLEMS on m'hands. Yeah. They'd get along wit' ya nephew, alright. TOO FUCKIN' WELL. Nothin' about the wallets. They could EAT the fuckin' rich fa all I care, but I wouldn't trust 'em not ta get on Big V's bad side. Can't go... RISKIN' THAT. "

Oh would you look at that, the bottle's empty. He needs another. After placing the empty glass down beside the leg of the sofa, Angel reaches to do just that.

Alastor

“I can think of few goals more egotistical than to decide one has both the authority and the ability to shove one’s way into everyone else’s problems, fix everything for these poor helpless strangers, and then go home to congratulate oneself on one’s heroism.” Alastor shakes his head, tisk tisk. “Someone who truly wants to help asks HOW to help—and you didn’t mention this nephew of yours asking. On the other hand, someone who just barges in only wants to flaunt what a good person he is. Just another way to stroke off an overly-engorged sense of self-importance.”

Alastor beams at Sir Pentious. He’d hoped so! “I can give you the recipe.” It isn’t far off from something Sir Pentious himself might bring to a picnic, in Alastor’s opinion—soft bread, meat so tender it nearly falls apart—but pizzazzed up.

He waves Angel back when he sees him reaching for the table. "No no, allow me!" He's not getting him more wine. He's getting him one of each sandwich. That's what you said you wanted, isn't it? Isn't it, Angel? "These rapscallions of yours sound fun! If you do run into them, bring them by the hotel!"

Valera

Valera hums, resting her head on Pentious' chest as she thinks back. Did she have any spicy backstory? Not specifically, but if he followed the same trend as the others she'd known... "I think he got disowned by his biological family? Possibly for protecting a woman from being accosted by a drunk politician, but I'd have to ask for specifics." A shrug, fingers tippy tapping up to grip her fiance's shoulders as she pointedly side-eyes Alastor. "I could be off base, but I think that's what happened. Having a criminal record in Japan can ruin your life. Assault charges against a man in power? Even worse."

But that was neither here nor there. "Regardless. I'd be very sad to see a bunch of bratty kids get on the bad side of any Overlord! Keep a few eyes out, my dearest Angel. I'm sure Charlie would love to get her hands on them." Another affectionate squeeze, muscles rippling under Angel's hands as he strokes along her scales. Oh, but she purrs. Too bad she can't reach the sandwiches without getting up, she's eyeing the Veci flesh hardcore.

Angel

Angel zones out a few, processing the things Alastor says. He was right. To his surprise. His words sounded like they came straight out of some self-help manual the resident lesbian hotel staff kept insisting he read. Which he totally has. In a hypothetical world where he had x-ray vision.

Valera was also right. He couldn't be letting ANYTHING happen to those kids. He'd have to do so under his boss' radar. Can't have THAT sort of reputation hitting the elite, right? Right? Everyone was SO right. It was overwhelming. WHERE WAS THE WINE? HE SWORE IT WAS THERE-

OH, this was very WRONG. Angel finally came too at the sight of a full plate in front of him. His eyes widened and sparkled like the post Extermination sky, but his brows steeped with guilt. Nonetheless, he mustered a teary grin. He couldn't be rude. He'd have to. For many reasons. Most apparent was the hint of drool and all but immediate pleading of his bowels to Get A Grip. He compromised by offering Valera the Veci sandwich out of Alastor's selection. That was the one he started with, right?

" I'm... gonna have to, " he relented with a drag of his sights to the adjacent corner of the room as he took another bite from a sandwich at random. His expression reacted with bliss. " I wouldn't TRUST THEM ta their own devices soon as their hypothetical stake down 'ere hits reality. It comes ta that, I'm gonna be countin' on y'all. "

Alastor

He shrugs off the side-eye on the grounds that he knows he's said and done nothing to warrant it.

Well, if Valera wants the Veci sandwiches, they should say something! Alastor can lean over, grab the plate, and offer it to—oh, Angel got to it. Alastor gives Angel a sharp look for giving away his food; but he started out with that flavor, didn't he? He'll let it slide. Instead Alastor serves himself one and offers the plate to Sir Pentious, want one?

"If they are down here, they've most likely been dead for decades, haven't they? I'm sure they can handle themselves as well as anybody can by now." Angel might have known them as children, but that isn't what they are anymore, not a chance.

Valera

Luxury was a fancy little sandwich being handed to you while you lounge on your man's chest. She accepts the sandwich with a cheerful wiggle of her fins, and a moment later it's gone.

"Mmm! Delicious, you'd never guess he was so insufferable in life. Fine work, Alastor." A pause while she shifts her position again, a hand moving down to rub her stomach. Maybe that was enough food for now, her innards were complaining. "I assume you've heard all about the soiree by now, yes?"

Sir Pentious

*Politicians.* Ah, that would do it, wouldn't it. SIr Pentious doesn't have much to contribute to the conversation, mostly just watching the others and petting Valera's hair. And then he's kind of being addressed again! More sandwiches!! He will happily take the veci meat kind, and bite into it. Mmmm... murderous intent.

"I HADN'T TOLD HIM HOW IT HAD GONE--IT ssssSLIPPED MY MIND."

Angel

Since when was the Radio Demon the angel on anyone's shoulder? He nodded reflectively and sunk back into the sandwiches. They really were good. He could easily absentmindedly eat the whole plate before realizing what he was doing- oh there went HALF.

Alastor

Alastor perks up at the mention of the soirée. "I keep meaning to ask for the story, and we keep getting on other topics instead." He turns away from Angel now that he's sure he's eating and focuses his attention on Sir Pentious. "I've been dying all over again to hear the bloody details!"

Valera

Oh good, Angel was handling the sandwiches without her help. Thank goodness for that! Maybe between the three demons, they could actually clear a platter, bunch of skinny old men that they were.

Valera looks at Pentious in mock offense, gasping ever so daintily as she presses a hand to her cheek. "All this time and you didn't tell him? Well you'd better get to it before I do, my dear. I doubt anyone but Angel would want to hear *my* version of the story."

Sir Pentious

"IT DID NOT COME UP AND I DIDN'T REMEMBER TO TELL HIM!!! AS I SSAID, IT SSLIPPED MY MIND!" Something something old man. Anyway, he sits up straighter, splaying his talons against his chest as he begins to recount the tail, "VALERA INVITED ME TO ONE OF HER PEOPLES' PARTIES! SOME FANCY TO DO, THAT SsssORT OF THING. I KNEW THAT THAT ONE MAN, THE SSSTEWARD THAT HASSS BEEN PESSSTERING VALERA SSO, HE WAS AN ENORMOUS BRUTE OF A FELLOW. HE REALLY MADE A POOR FIRSSSST IMPRESSION, YOU SEE, AS HE CONTINUALLY REFERRED TO VALERA AS 'RUNT' TO HER FACE! AND TO MINE."

Sir Pentious produces his cane--where was he keeping that--and holds it up, "SO I WARNED HIM NOT TO INSSSULT VALERA, FOR SHE WAS BETTER THAN HIM, AND TO NOT INSSSULT ME, EITHER. HE CONTINUED TO DO SSSO.... AND SO, I DID WHAT ANY GENTLEMAN WORTH HISSSS *SALT* WOULD." With a press of a button, the cane transformed into that automatic tinkertoy looking rifle, "I PRESSED THE MUZZLE OF MY RIFLE AGAINST THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD AND BLEW HIS ssssssSKULL APART! NYAAAA HA HA HA HA HAHAAAAAAAAA!"

Alastor

"Oh, I'm sure your version of the story is plenty fascinating," he tells Valera; but yeah, he wants Sir Pentious's. As evidenced by the fact that as soon as Sir Pentious starts telling it, his attention is totally riveted—complete with his invisible studio audience providing oohs, aahs, and applause where appropriate.

He nearly scoots off the edge of his seat when he leans forward to inspect the tinkertoy rifle-cane. "Did you make—? Well, of course you did, what a stupid question! Clever, very clever!" Can he hold it? He wants to hold it. He's half reaching for it like he's just waiting for an invitation to touch it. "Was this the kind of party where committing a murder to defend the honor of one's betrothed is encouraged, or did you two have to beat a hasty retreat?"

Valera

Valera had been content to let Pentious tell the story, but Alastor's questions were enough to have her snort, blurting out a response before she could think about it. "What, you think I'd have to run from my own party?! In my own--" Ahem. She clears her throat, laying herself back down.

"Apologies. Don't mind me. Go on, dear."

Sir Pentious

Oh Alastor is doing the grabby hands. Sir Pentious eyes him a moment before handing the weapon off. It's not loaded anymore, anyway.

"NO NO, WE DIDN'T RUN. IT WAS VALERA'S COURT. THEY COULDN'T *TOUCH* ME. WOULDN'T DARE! I MADE THEM ALL MY--".... Sweats. He clears his throat, "I MADE THEM *QUITE* AWARE OF WHO I *AM*. THEY WERE ALL *QUIVERING* BEFORE MY MIGHT!! OHHH, IT WAS *INVIGORATING.*"

Alastor

“Well, how should I know! On Earth, if a world leader’s fiancé murders someone during a state party, the party’s overrun by police and journalists and that’s the end of the event; in Hell, the same act would probably garner polite applause.”

He eagerly claims the cane and starts examining it, turning it over in his hands and holding it close to study how it re-folds itself when it switches between rifle and cane. Oh, what a beautiful piece of work. He’d love to try this out, see whether the gimmick has taken away from any of its efficiency as a gun...

What did you make them, Sir Pentious? All your what? Go on, Alastor would love to hear. Look at that smirk of his, and it’s getting wider. Whadja make ‘em? “A first impression they won’t soon be forgetting, I’m sure! Pity I didn’t get to see it—you are a sight when you’re performing for an audience!” He’s a sight to see at any time. Go on, keep preening. “No doubt they’d never been in the presence of a bona fide supervillain before.”

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is really basking in this praise and attention. Look at him! He's petting his talons down his hood, his eyes are closed as he smiles. Oh, he is bad and he knows it!

"THEY ARE TOO USED TO THEIR MAGIC, IT SEEMED. MY MACHINES ARE A COMPLETE *MYSTERY* TO THEM, AND WITH MY FIRST VIOLENT ACT, I WENT FROM MERE PALACE RUMOR TO *FEARSOME LEGEND.* AH, IT WAS LIKE MY LIVING DAYS, THOSE FINAL YEARS! UNTOUCHABLE AND POWERFUL! NO ONE COULD COMPARE TO MY MAGNIFICENCE!!!" He takes Valera's hand, and presses a kiss to it. There's a ring there! "I WON'T HAVE ANY MEMBERS OF THAT COURT INSSSULTING MY LOVE TO MY FACE, OR BEHIND MY BACK. THEY WILL BE DEALT WITH SSSSWIFTLY."

Angel

OH. There's a RING NOW! Angel takes to it with a similar but respectfully distant interest as Alastor took to the cane. He stretches over his now empty platter a little. _He wants to see it, TOO..._

Alastor

“And no one’s ever going to compare, I’m sure! A bunch of too-proud magicians who don’t know what to do in front of a few pieces of cleverly constructed steel—not all that different from down here, is it?”

It’s why Alastor’s convinced that Sir Pentious is the only wanna-be conqueror with a shot at the throne: in terms of magic, the strongest sinner will never equal a fallen angel—but the most sublime, secular human virtue is the capacity to invent machinery that far surpasses any mere mortal’s strengths. Sure, John Henry beat the drill machine—once—but imagine if he’d been running it. And imagine if Sir Pentious had designed it.

For a second there Alastor got so caught up in this man-overthrows-the-devil fantasy that he almost misses the new ring. (It only briefly squeezes his heart.) So that IS what Sir Pentious was robbing a jewelry store for. Alastor knew it.

... He teleports another sandwich onto Angel’s plate while he’s distracted.

Valera

Ah, looks like Angel's caught on! Valera purrs, eyes squinting up as she glances over to her totally legit spusband. "Ah! Yes, we never told them, dearest. Here, Angel, admire my love's workmanship." She pulls her hand away, turning her head to give Pentious a quick peck to the lips as she extends her hand out for the local spider to get a good look at. Oh yes, it *is* shaped nontraditionally. An eel curled around her finger, woven through tiny holes pierced through the webbing to twist in a dramatic shape.

She is looking VERY smug about this. She's been DYING to talk about this since he proposed.

Sir Pentious

Yep. This man's ego is being inflated so much he'll probably float away at this rate. And now everyone was looking at the ring that Valera was wearing.

"I DESIGNED *AND* CRAFTED THAT NUMBER MYSsssSELF! ONLY THE ABSsssOLUTE BESSST FOR MY WIFE."

Angel

" Holy shit that's BLINDIN'! " Angel exclaimed with drama dialed to eleven. He quickly jerked back upon realizing he made himself a fluff sandwich. Nonetheless, the show went on as he brushed the crumbs from his chest and salvaged the important parts. " Nothin less than whatcha deserve, Val. M'glad fa ya both ~ " He smiled sweetly, genuinely. Their love was contagious. " Ya gotta date set fa the I Do's? "

Alastor

Oh, "workmanship"? He didn't just grab one from the jewelry store? (Well, no, of course he wouldn't.) Alastor leans forward to look too. "I was starting to worry you two were going to get to the wedding and realize you'd forgotten a ring." In truth, he half suspected they were going to get to the wedding and realize they'd forgotten to propose entirely. "Why an eel��it's what you get when you cross a fish with a snake?"

Valera

Valera beams back at her friend, smugness forgotten in the face of such a sweet display. Who could be anything less than ecstatic at a time like this? "Thank you, Angel Dust. No date set yet, but we'll get there."

Alastor could joke, but it had been a real possibility with these two. She snorts, turning her hand to admire the way the ring sparkled. "I wouldn't have put it past us. We nearly _did_. But yes, a nice symbolic cross between us. Penny has a ring too, he just keeps it in his pocket."

Pausing as an idea comes to mind, she grins even wider, reaching out to pat at Angel's hand. "Hey, hey. Be my babe of honor. You wanted to help me plan anyway, might as well get the fancy title. "

Sir Pentious

Oh! That reminded him. Babe of honor... Hmm. Sir Pentious turned his head right over to Alastor, that enormous C smile over most of his face! He leans over on the armrest of the couch, chin resting on the backs of his fingers as he flicks his tongue at the deerman. Hello~

Angel

Oh how WIDE his eyes BLEW. His jaw dropped but he was speechless. Dramatically, his eyes darted. His throat produced demonic giggles of glee behind clasped hands. Had Angel really been given the opportunity to play such a vital part of what was touted as one of the most important days of one's life? She was right, yes, he had already pitched the assistance. Though he hadn't told anyone or made his presence known, he HAD been browsing their fashion tag ( for reasons undefined but browsing nonetheless. )

When he finally gathered his graces, he grabbed Valera's hand in all four of his and excitedly bounced as much as the muscular tail around his waist would let him.

" OH FUCKIN' HELL YEAH GIVE IT TA ME!! " Angel exclaimed, " If THAT ain't the highest fuckin' honor a BITCH could HAVE! "

Suddenly, he had to be free. He had to wiggle. His arms reached for her, fluff and hips vibrating at a higher frequency than the naked eye could track. Grabby GRABBY. He had to join the newlywed pile and SQUISH her.

Alastor

He watches the exchange between Valera and Angel with quiet surprise, before scooting back into his chair a little and pulling the cane rifle onto his lap to give the vibrating pile of limbs more room to excitedly wiggle around. Are they that close? But they hardly know each other, don't they? Does Valera have so few friends to call upon to perform such an important wedding function? Or maybe Alastor's mistaken—he's only been aware of their familiarity with each other for a few weeks, but then again he's also only been tuned into the same band of the internet as them for a few weeks—perhaps they've been acquainted much longer and simply hadn't brought it up...

... He is being Looked At by Sir Pentious. Alastor meets his gaze questioningly. "Yes?"

Valera

The response is both immediate and everything Val could have hoped for. They wiggle their fins as Angel starts vibrating, the excitement nearly palpable and highly infectious as he clasps her hand in his own. "Wouldn't settle for anything less than the best, babe. I know you'll be *amazing*."

Oh that spider is a WIGGLIN', and good for him! He's freed in moments, and before she can blink Valera is lovingly squished by a pink and white pile of vibrating fluff. They loop their arms around Angel in turn, nuzzling their nose against his cheek with a girlish giggle. Oh wow, that chest fluff really IS as soft as it looks, they could cuddle into that *forever*. But alas, their stomach doesn't really appreciate this kind of squishing nonsense, making its disapproval known with an unpleasant churn that leaves Valera wincing. But fuck that, they're going to cuddle this fuzzy spider _anyway_.

Sir Pentious

Oh shit Angel is suddenly cuddling up on Valera--Sir Pentious' head whips back around to watch with a bit of an indignant pout--but. He had to just *remind* himself that there was no way that Angel would be interested in her that way. This was... friendly cuddling? He and Alastor had lied on each other before, just not this. Aggressively. Sir Pentious was rather certain he would *crush* the deerman under his weight should he attempt something like that.

Back to Alastor--Sir Pentious resumes his charming little pose, "I WASS THINKING... YOU COULD BE MY BESSST MAN!" He didn't really... have any friends, after all. Alastor was one of the few people he knew that really wanted to be around him, and actively enjoyed his presence, and Pentious enjoyed his as well. Platonically, this was the nicest little arrangement he'd had in *years*.

"THAT ISS, IF WEDDINGSS ARE YOUR THING."

Angel

How he loved this fucking fish. Angel couldn't remember the last time he felt so happy for someone else. Valera's wedding. His system full of eggs. The bright future they'd surely have. He could cry. Tears beading from all eight corners, his heightened sensitivity caught on and cut his celebration short. In fact, it hit him like a TRUCK. He was covered in hypersensitive hairs. Sensitive enough to convey SYMPATHY PAINS.

" Oh, fuck, Val, you...? " Angel tuned in. Those weren't nice sounds. He was too close to see his face but he was nonetheless worried. " You ok? Ya ain't soundin' good in there, Babes... " He ceased to let go, but his excitedly suffocating hold turned to more of one carefully beholding glass. Soothing fingers raked their hair, smoothed over scales. A hand even dropped to their stomach to venture a possible feel of the movement. Angel bit his lip, heart beginning to pound through his dense volume of fluff. " ... Snacks not agreein' wit' ya...? Want me t' getcha some water? "

Alastor

Really? Him? HIM? Are they that close? But they hardly know each other, don't they? Does Sir Pentious have so few friends... oh, yeah, he probably does. Who else would be able to do it? Two eggs standing on each other?

Can Alastor go through with it? Can he stand just a few feet away, close enough to touch Sir Pentious as he recites his vows, and watch?

A broad, exuberant smile crosses his face as his heart plummets into his stomach. "Why—my good sir, it would be the greatest honor! And here I thought I was going to have to sneak into the back and steal a slice of wedding cake when no one was looking! I'd come give you a hug too, but the sofa is..." he glances over as Angel starts fussing over Valera, "... looking a little... cramped."

Valera

Valera chuckles, a hint of nerves creeping into their voice as they loosen their grip on Angel and sit up. Their hands rest on Angel's shoulders now, more for support than to keep him close. "Oh don't let us stop you, Alastor." Deep breath. It was probably nothing, they're fine. A gentle squeeze, and they drop their hands down to pat their stomach. Behave, damn you. "Yes, some water sounds good, if you wouldn't mind!"

They're fine. This is fine. They're even smiling! It's a queasy smile, but hey! Points for trying.

Sir Pentious

Oh! Alastor said yes! Nevermind Valera suffering right next to him, Sir Pentious is beaming--all teeth! And those excited half moon eyes. He's looking absolutely delighted. He reaches a hand out to take one of Alastor's, squeezing it with glee, "GOOD, *GOOD!* A MAN I CAN TRUSSSST BY MY SSSIDE. YESSS, INDEED. IT WILL BE--"

His head whips backwards, and he looks to Valera with deep concern, "MY DEAR???" That deep breath, and the fact that Angel was talking to her like that... C o n c e r n . "ARE YOU IN PAIN?"

Angel

He knew that face too well. Gently clasping the sides of their face, Angel glanced to Alastor in a vaguely implicit plea to get the water for him. " Ya look like ya gonna pass out... " He then looked at Penny. Did he know what to do when Valera felt sick? ' In sickness and in health ' and all that jazz...?

But he looked just as confused. What did Alastor know? What did HE know?? If it had been one of his girls in the club he'd immediately flip on his professional switch and handle the situation with three hands tied behind his back.

But THIS was VALERA.

" ... Water ain't gonna be fixin' that, Sweets, uh... " Panic - rimmed eyes looked to Penny and Alastor as he shifted and braced himself to handle more of their weight. _What do we DO?!_

Alastor

And regardless of what Valera says, THAT'S why now is not the appropriate time for him to fling himself all over Sir Pentious. (That, plus, the witnesses.)

He's keeping the hand though. He figures he's about to lose access to it.

Everyone else is already fussing over Valera, no need for Alastor to pile on and give them one more question they have to reply to. He nods slightly at Angel's look, cheerily says, "Brace yourselves!" before opening a portal in the air next to him and watching in mild interest as a dozen booze bottles from the bar downstairs fall through and crash on the ground. He fishes out a plastic water bottle that survived the fall from among the glass shards and offers it to Angel to pass to Valera.

Valera

Oh, well! That sure was a lot of loud breaking glass and a LOT of alcohol hitting the air at once, what a _stench_. In an interesting maneuver, Valera manages to both flinch away and gag at the same time, fins flat to their head as they huddle against Angel's chest and eke out a low whine from their throat. Not a dignified look, really. Lets pretend that didn't happen.

A shake of their head and they pull back, pupils blown wide and smile turned to something of a grimace. "Well if I wasn't in pain *before* I sure am *now*. Cheers, loves." They'll be taking that (slippery with alcohol) water bottle now, thank you. Not a snatch, not from Angel, but they're determined to chug the entire thing down. As fish do. "If what I think is happening is happening? Uh. Fuck." Another wince, and they try again. "I'll be fine, this'll be over in like. Five minutes, I'll probably swear a lot, and then we can all relax. No worries." See? It's all good, no need to fret you poor idiots.

Sir Pentious

--NOW HOLD ON JUST A FUCKING MINUTE!!

There was A LOT HAPPENING! First, Alastor opens a portal and the floor to his room is POSITIVELY RUINED with alcohol and broken glass! The LOUD NOISE, the STENCH-- his hood FLOOPS open and he pulls his hand away from Alastor only to *snarl* at the deerman, "WHAT ARE YOU *DOING* YOU BLITHERING--" Oh, oh-- oh back to Valera. He's looking her over, fingers flexing as he looks her up and down in sheer *panic.*

Oh no, oh no. Oh no! Is she having her eggs???? His experience with child birth was None Experience, but the way of childbirth in Victorian England was not exactly the most *hopeful* of ventures. These eggs were duds, but it wasn't like that was taking away from Penny's anxiety. What was he supposed to do???? "F-FIVE MINUTESS??? MY LOVE, YOU ARE POSSITIVELY *BURSSSTING*, YOU CANNOT BE SSSERIOUSSS! THERE ARE PLENTY OF WORRIESSSS TO BE H-HAD!"

Oh, he's looking pale. Local snake is starting to shake! He can't sweat, so instead he'll just grab the brim of his hat and pull it down in panic!

Angel

Bursting? Uh... O h . Penny's panic dissuaded his own and the pieces started coming together. If The Father was going to be preoccupied and The Best Man was probably going to be NEEDED, it was up to him. It had to be up to him. Planting a soft kiss onto Valera's crown, he cradled their head into his chest and released his tertiary set of arms. This was going to take a LOT of care and a LOT of power.

Angel took a few moments to concentrate, maneuvering his hands about Valera's body to gauge both where her weight was distributed and where she was tender. He then stook out a leg and straightened his back as they were lifted into his many arms, cradled to the best of his ability.

" I'm takin' 'em t' the en suite, " Angel announced as he maneuvered himself and his precious bundle of eggnant fish around the mess, " Um, you two... " He appeared to be struggling much more with his words as opposed to the way he seemed to be breaking all laws of physics. A spindly form such as his shouldn't be able to support such a concentrated mass of raw muscle, right? Especially not one filled with eggs, RIGHT?

" ... Come help when ya can... " Angel didn't intend to be rude or condenscending, but his mouth failed where the sincerity of his eyes attempted to fill before he turned on his heels and made his way.

Alastor

Static hisses quietly around him in alarm as Sir Pentious pulls away. Ow. He probably deserved that, he startled the room more than he'd expected. "In retrospect, I could have been a little less expedient." It's almost an apology.

Damage control. He dropped the mess in a place where it wouldn't NEED to be maneuvered around—he was overly generous in his estimation of everyone else's tolerance for sudden noises, that didn't mean he hadn't put ANY thought into his actions—but even so, he's gonna briefly open a second portal under the pile of broken glass. It doesn't un-soak the carpet, but now the bottles are Husk's problem. Alastor can clean the carpet later, right now he's sure that's a distant second on everyone's list of concerns.

He stands and puts a hand on Sir Pentious's shoulder—he'll risk Sir Pentious's wrath when he clearly needs somebody grounding him. "Steady. Their quantity means they're small and their shape means they're aerodynamic, they"—he narrowly suppresses the urge to say *they'll slip right out*—"have no risk of causing complications." He hasn't a damn clue if that's true. But he sure sounds like he does. "And we've got magic to help ease the process, haven't we?"

Honestly, in his heart of hearts, he doubts Valera needs anything but to be given a little polite distance by the pair of half-panicked busybodies fussing over them. But if it will calm everyone down enough to let Valera to get through their five minute ordeal without having to manage everyone ELSE'S distress as well, then Alastor had better help more directly. His lower body is already turned toward the bathroom door as he prepares to go see what he can do—but not until he's sure that leaving won't mean turning his back on Sir Pentious during a building panic attack. Either Alastor's got to stabilize him or he's got to make sure that Sir Pentious is going to come along to have his panic attack in the bathroom.

Valera

Bless Angel Dust and all the brain cells he seems to have stolen from the rest of the party. Valera is more than happy to curl up and let him carry her to the en suite, purring softly to self soothe as much as try to comfort her spindly rescuer.

"Bathtub should work." There's the fake casual tone again, but it was better than being hysterical right now. If it was only going to be her and Angel here for this, best to make sure it went smoothly. Which meant taking his sudden competence and rolling with it. "Drop me in, and uh. I don't know, hold my hand?"

Sir Pentious

OooOoohh dear. Alastor's hand is on his shoulder, and Pentious has only just watched Angel carry away his wife. Pentious places a hand to his mouth, listening to Alastor attempt to reassure him with the.... *autonomy* of the situation. He pales further, looking a little ill.

His tongue is hanging out of his mouth in the most pathetic fashion, and he looks towards the en suite, going on quite the face journey. He should be there, but he couldn't *move*, it was like being tied to a dead weight!

*Foolish, stupid old man. Failing your wife again?* Oh no this was a TERRIBLE time for panicked thoughts. His hand grips Alastor's once more, and his mind races as he just looks like he might die!

Angel

" I ain't gonna DROP ya, tesoro ~ " he cooed as he gently lowered them and got lucky with the first cabinet he opened. Without leaving her side, he folded a towel over the edge for her head. " I dunno if ya done this before, but I sure haven't so... "

Angel knelt before the tub and held Valera's hands, dipping the bottom half of his face below the brim as four pairs of puppy dog eyes stared at them, brows twisted wtth worry. " D'ya... want the warm water fa the cramps...? Eggs can't drown, right? "

Alastor

Well, THAT didn’t help. So much for the appeal to logos. Shoot for pathos instead, he supposes.

Alastor lowers his voice. “Listen.” He squeezes Sir Pentious’s hand reassuringly. “Valera’s going to be just fine. I promise you. But I bet she’ll feel better about the whole thing if she has her genius, notorious fiancé at her side.” He nods toward the door encouragingly. “Don’t you think?”

If he thought it would help, he’d pull Sir Pentious into a hug and hold him tight, until whatever’s in his head putting those horrible expressions on his face is gone. But he doubts anything but Sir Pentious’s fiancée can help. So he has to just, sort of, try to telepathically transmit a hug through hand-holding.

Valera

Good thinking, Angel. All Valera's research and prep kind of flew out the window as soon as the situation got real. She settles back, sighing in relief as her hand curls tight around his. "Thanks, babe." She turns her head, flashing him the cheekiest wink she can muster up. "Don't worry, fish are remarkably hard to drown. Water sounds great. Think it'll be us two, or are the two old timers going to show up and make this a _real_ party?"

Sir Pentious

Telepathic hug...

Sir Pentious' eyes widen, his talons tapping against Alastor's hand as he's grounding himself with the other's voice. Genius, *notorious* fiance! Oh, yes... Yes! He SHOULD be there!! Sir Pentious sits up, quite suddenly, and turns his head to Alastor.

"YESSS, YOU'RE RIGHT! YESSS. I SHOULD BE THERE... I CANNOT HAVE THAT SSSPIDER SHOW ME UP!!! I..." Urp. "I WILL! HANDLE THISS!! AS I SHOULD!"

And... he slithers off of the couch, adjusting his bowtie as he enters into the en suite, trying not to look like he's about to die.

Angel

_No fucking DUH..._ Angel silently cursed to himself as an extra hand went for the water and tested it for warmth. That was the benefit to being in Hell ; it came out hot and they had to wait for _cold._

" I dunno, " he sighed, " Pen was lookin' pretty shaken up. He might need a minute or two t'- oh! Speak a the serpentine devil ~ ! " Exasperation turned to relief as he scooted to make way to Valera on his knees. " You ok t' take over fa me? " he said with a respectful offering of his fiancé's hands.

Alastor

Success! Alastor keeps his grip on Sir Pentious's hand as long as he can, but lets him slip free before they reach the en suite. That's for Valera now.

He hovers in the doorway. "Do you need any other assistance, or would I just be adding to the tripping hazards if I came in?" He wouldn't mind coming in—if there's no way he can help, he'd be happy to sit on the toilet lid and provide color commentary—but the room already contains a guy with six arms and a fifteen-foot snake, he doesn't really need to add to the crowd if he's not going to be productive.

Valera

Oh, speak of the devil indeed! Valera grins up at Pentious, in far better spirits now that she's in nice warm water and laying back. Infinitely better than trying to sit on a couch while her body tried to act up. It was unfortunate that her pretty silk nightgown was getting just short of boiled, but ah well. Sacrifices must be made and all that.

Oh, and Alastor too? Goodness, she really did know how to summon them. Another wince, and then she clears her throat and pipes up, overly cheery again. "Unless you've got a nice strip of leather that might survive my teeth gnawing on it, I don't know!"

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious makes his way forward, flicking his tongue in long stretches, *clearly* stressed out with his crazy eyes... but he hunkers down by the tub so that he can grasp Valera's hands in his, and stare into her eyes. Was he looking handsome right now? Absolutely not, but he had to be here! He must! For his wife's sake. And... not. Think about the eggs, and. Urp. Oh, he is paling. Keep the smelling salts on hand,,

"ALASSSTOR." Sir Pentious turns his head round, backwards, "DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE THISSSS ROOM!"

Angel

" Yeah, Al, c'mere. " With a grunt, Angel pushed off his knees and braced himself against the edge of the tub near the running faucet. If not for how _tensely_ he taut his muscles in the high stress of the moment, being on his knees would've felt as natural as laying down...

... but this wasn't about _his_ pain.

" Think they're gonna need ya... " he said assertively with a fish ( pun not intended ) through his fluff for a pen of waterproof liner. " Ya think ya can cash in a favor wit' ya friend Prince, uh... " He couldn't help a nervous snicker as he held it out and ushered Alastor forward. " _Demon's epidurals?_ Whatever it takes, I'll make up fa it. "

Could he compare labor to being shot? Maybe being shot in the DICK, but if that sigil was powerful enough for him to be poked and prodded through with close to no pain at all? Valera deserved that level of relief. He wanted that for him more than anything right about now.

Alastor

"I won't, I'm not leaving." He picks his way around Sir Pentious's tail to stand next to him and squeeze his shoulder again. See? Right here, not going anywhere.

He takes the liner, glances over Valera's body thoughtfully, then says, "I can give you a magical painkiller, but it involves drawing an infernal prince's sigil directly on your skin as close to the point of greatest pain as possible. Do you have any objections to any part of that process? If you DO, I have other painkillers, but they're slower."

Valera

Valera scoots to the edge of the tub, both hands wrapped around Pentious' to try and comfort him with gentle squeezes. "I'll be fine, love. But if this is too much, I won't be upset if you need to leave." Mwah, a kiss for the back of his hand.

Oh, hm. Interesting proposal there, pain relief does sound rather tempting with the way her body is feeling. "If we had more than, at my guess, ten minutes before this was over, I'd consider alternatives. But what's a little infernal magic between friends?" Better to feel hungover later than break Pentious' hand now! Hit her with your best personal space invasion, Alastor.

Sir Pentious

The talk of painkillers is kind of going over Sir Pentious' head. It's not like they didn't exist back when he was alive, but he was more fixated on trying to keep his stomach contents inside of his body, and not faint on the spot, also. Alastor's hand on his shoulder, as well as Valera's hands on his was *very* comforting, and he just kind of sat there, looking stricken with concern.

"HOW-- *INVASSSSIVE* WILL THISSS SSSSSIGIL BE???"

Angel

" He ain't gonna be shovin' it up 'is VAGINA or anythin'! " Angel proclaimed with a twist and drag of his neckline to reveal his bandage, " Just aroun' the top, like he did me 'ere... " He then circled a claw around the spot where his wound was healing. _Modesty ain't the goal here, Penny, c'mon ~_ he mused silently, instead urging the snake prioritize better with his Look. He also reached down to give a section of Penny's tail a gentle pat. Physical reassurance seemed to be doing... something for them both. " It works wonders. _Trust us ~ "_

Alastor

"It was up top for YOU, Angel, because your INJURY was up top. For Valera, in order for me to get as close to the point of the pain as possible—well, truth be told, the only downside to trying to shove it up the aforementioned anatomy is the fact that I wouldn't be able to draw like that! As it is," he nods to Valera, "if you'd be so good as to expose a bit of skin somewhere abdominal where I can draw, please. At least as much surface area as the palm of your hand, as close as you can get to the point of maximum pain."

Valera

Another little squeeze for Pentious' hand, this poor fool looked like he was about to keel over, and then Valera pulls her hands free. Unfortunately, they were needed elsewhere.

"Alastor, as much as I trust your unwavering capacity for professionalism, I think I'll pass on the infernal fisting, for both of our sakes." A snort, and she unbuttons over her stomach, scooting back to make sure it was above the water's surface. Angel's eyeliner was good, but she doubted it was _that_ good. "Have at it, but you may need to towel the area off to get better traction. Fish are slippery and all that."

Sir Pentious

His hood FLOOMPS out with indignant fury at being spoken to that way by Angel, and he moves his tail away from the other!!

"DO NOT TOUCH Me, YOU-" Wait, where. Oh no.

Sir Pentious is going to sit on himself, hands clasped together on his lap and just. Scream internally as he would have to watch Alastor touch his fiancée in such.

Specific places. The talk of slippery and needing better traction as him swallow hard, trying not to think about the fact he was *in the birthing chambers oh God oh God oh God he feels like he's unlocked some long buried repressed memories.*

Sit neatly, Penny. No need for fuss.

Angel

Angel sighed and drained some of the water. That couldn't be a bad call, right? He also reached to revisit the cabinet from prior for another towel. A second one. He gave them both to Valera.

" Here... one fa dryin' and another if ya wanna... cover up, " he mumbled, eyes darting around the room for anything else he could do to try and settle the atmosphere.

Coming up empty, he shifted back towards the faucet to give Alastor some space. He could touch _her_ tail, right? An ankle? Angel leaned back. He'd be at the ready where he was guaranteed to be needed.

Alastor

"Infernal fss—!" Hold on while Alastor's studio audience cracks up. "Hah, no! I don't have the right manicure for that, do I!"

Alastor waits until Valera has toweled a patch of skin dry, then perches on the edge of the tub, leans across it to brace one elbow on the opposite side, and hastily scrawls out Prince Gaap's sigil. He doesn't straighten up until it's started to glow. "There! Instant painkiller—and partial invulnerability to injury as well. You can take a stab or two but don't climb into any trash compactors."

He offers the liner to Angel and squeezes Sir Pentious's shoulder again. There, not so bad, is it? Alastor didn't even have to touch Valera, it was all the liner.

Valera

"Just so, my dear fellow! Maybe next time." She doesn't have a good angle to really study the sigil, but she cranes her head down to take a look, fins flaring in surprise. "Oh! Gaap, huh? How fitting, this sort of thing is just up his alley."

Instant relief! She could _kiss_ the radio man. But she'll settle for laying back again, fixing her position and getting comfortable. Just in time, it'd been getting pretty hard to keep up appearances.

Sir Pentious

Very prickly snake man may have to apologize to Angel Dust later, for being so thankless. This was the primary reason Pentious had so few friends.

He's just watching Valera now, focused on her and reaching out for her hand.

Angel

With a deep sigh of relief, Angel put his liner away and busied himself with fussing over the tap. Particularly the chain connecting the handle to the plug. It was so entertaining. Was he being too loud and obnoxious, jingling and making faces at the thing to manually steer himself from further upsetting Penny? _Perhaps._ But now that Valera was comfortable at long last, the remainder of his nervous energy had go go _somewhere._

Alastor

"Oh, do you know him!" He perks up. "Where did you meet?! We haven't been narrowly missing each other at big parties for the past decade, have we? Say, if I..."

He trails off as he remembers what, exactly, they're in the middle of.

Then he cheerily adds, "Maybe we'll exchange Gaap gossip later."

Valera

She offers a slightly strained smile, but keeps her tone light. "Later, yes. We'll have lunch, make a day of it. It'll be fun." Deep breath, this is it lads.

The actual laying process is, at least on Valera's end, largely uneventful and over with in a few minutes of undignified grimacing and shifting in place. There's a brief stab of dulled pain as the process begins in earnest, but with the combination of adrenaline and magic, she barely feels a thing beyond 'vague discomfort'. Thanks, Alastor.

Three pristine white orbs, roughly the size of ostrich eggs, with soft, leathery shells. The proud (?) Mother sits up, taking a moment to catch her breath before she nudges them out of her robe. She lifts and inspects each egg in turn, turning them this way and that, then drops them back into the water and drapes herself over the edge of the tub, looking quite pleased with herself. "Sturdy shells, healthy sizes and weights. For all intents and purposes, picture perfect eggs. Damn I'm good." Thumbs up for the audience.

Sir Pentious

What was the great Sir Pentious doing for most of this? Trying to not throw up, actually. He kind of looks more like a White Snake right now, swaying a little from side to side... once he sees those eggs? And the thought that they came from inside of her? Oh, and also, the various faces she made before?

Sploosh. He just *fainted*, with his head RIGHT into the tub.

Angel

Valera's making faces... VALERA'S MAKING FACES! At the sound of her beginning grunting, Angel promptly turned from his stimming and leaned towards her from a respectful distance, all four hands clenching the edge of the tub for dear life. For a moment he worried the sigil wasn't working, or was somehow rubbing off in the water. He was a FOOL. His liner wasn't designed for scales. WHAT WERE THEY GOING TO DO-?!

If his face wasn't already stark as a sheet, his fleeing soul took the rest of his pigment from his body upon reaizing he wasn't squeezing just the tub. Sometime during their labor, he'd crept closer and closer and found himself squeezing the living daylights out of Alastor's arm. Angel flailed his arms away as quickly as he realized, but not fast enough to escape THE SPLASH.

All his glorious volume. GONE.

He hugged the rim of the tub right next to Valera to shield himself, just to find himself close enough to the eggs to see their texture. The size of his eyes mirrored their diameter. A BABY could come out of those... They'd need care... protection... guidance... The rest of the en suite felt silent as a void save for the turn of his head towards Valera. Back to the eggs. And to him again. Angel shrunk.

" C... " he struggled, " Can... I hold 'em...? "

Alastor

Initially, Alastor's content (more or less) to remain sitting on the edge of the tub, gaze pointed politely at the ceiling to allow Valera a modicum of dignity.

Which means he’s unalert when SOMEBODY grabs his arm. He beeps out a startled *di-di-dah-dah-di-dit* and shoots Angel a look. Under the circumstances, he’ll let it slide. Considering that Alastor’s the only person in the room who isn’t emotionally compromised, he must look a pillar of reassuring stability, mustn’t he?

When Sir Pentious faints, Alastor elects to share some of that stability, slithers down to the floor, pulls Sir Pentious from the tub, and holds him upright. That's a totally normal friend thing to do, right? Supporting a pal? Helping a homey? Embracing a buddy? Tenderly cradling a comrade in your loving arms? Oh so softly humming a sweet melody to sooth an unconscious amigo? Affectionately allowing a friendaroonie to rest his head upon your shoulder—

Oh, is the show over? Alastor glances into the tub, offers a round of applause from the studio audience, and dryly says, "Well done."

All that fuss for so little. Considering the meager help they provided and the eggs’ infertility, they were less three midwives assisting in a birth and more three gawkers watching somebody shit out an unusually large constipated turd. Alastor should have handed Valera a water bottle, administered a painkiller, and left—and he faintly resents the other two for trapping him in this rude intrusion.

But, well. He's here now. Arms available to all who need support, apparently.

Valera

Sparing a bemused look at Alastor holding up Pentious' unconscious pasta noodle of a corpse, Valera scoops one of the eggs out of the water and offers it out to Angel. "I think the father is usually supposed to hold the results of his efforts first, but seeing as my poor beau wants to play the part of Alastor's fashionable new accessory? You may have the honor."

A snort as she hands the egg off, and she flicks a few drops of water onto Penny's face. "Rise and shine, Sir Pentious. The ordeal is over, wake up before Alastor decides to start eating your children like some kind of opportunistic mongoose."

Sir Pentious

The flecks of water kind of don't do much for him at the moment, since he did end up getting an entire *faceful* of water not that long ago. Maybe smelling salts or something would do the trick!

Angel

If Angel's eyes got any bigger, they'd surpass the borders of his face. An EGG. He was holding AN EGG. His dead demon heart aflutter, he could not contain the way he vibrated. He even forgot how self conscious he would've been in the moment to be sporting a damp, flattened chest.

Gently smoothing his thumbs over the soft, leathery surface, he moved to kneel before the cuddling comrades, affectionate amigos, bosom buddies. " Hey, Pen, buddy... " Angel had no smelling salts on hand, but he attempted to call the snake's attention as he carefully held the egg out to him, ready to retract like LIGHTNING if he so happened to get startled. " It's ya happy lil' mistake ~ Val's wantin' ya t' hold 'em ~ "

He sang and smiled brightly to fruitless avail. Not wanting to risk crossing Penny's boundaries again, he looked to Alastor. " Your turn. Smack 'im, or somethin'. He's more t' forgive you fa that than me, " Angel suggested with a snicker.

Alastor

"I would never," Alastor says, as if the very suggestion was unimaginable. "They're YOUR eggs, OBVIOUSLY the mother and father should have the first opportunity to eat them! I was even going to offer to fry them up for you." What kind of a guest do they take him for, honestly.

"I'm not smacking him. Hold on, I've got some salt of hartshorn." As much as he'd like to continue cuddling his chum, he supposes it's going to look weird if he doesn't help. He opens a small portal—AWAY from Angel—and rummages through it until he withdraws a package of smelling salts. There, sniff that. Wakey wakey.

Valera

"I appreciate the thoughtfulness, Alastor! How did you know I was absolutely starved?"

A snort, and Val drags more of herself out of the tub, upper torso hanging over the edge as she watches the scene. She's never seen someone react to smelling salts before!

Sir Pentious

Well, that whiff was definitely enough to get his eyes fluttering open, and his face *wrinkling* at the scent.

"UGH--WHAT... WHAT?" He was all wet, and he hated that a great deal, and he was being held in Alastor's arms. Hm. Sir Pentious' head swivels to and fro, and he looks to Valera. There's a big smile!

And then he immediately remembers what had happened and pales again, "OH." Feeling foolish, his neck sinks into his collar, "MUSSST EVERYONE SSSTARE AT ME!!!?"

Weh!

Angel

" This lil' thing'd be starin' at ya TOO an' callin' ya DADDY if it 'ad eyes. An' a mouth. " Angel continued presenting the egg in both hands as if it were the most precious thing to exist. He had just the right amount of hands to hold all three as such, but perhaps Penny would gather enough of his graces to fish them out of the tub himself. He agreed with Valera. He should have the honor. ~~But that didn't stop his staring longingly at them from the corner of his eyes.~~ It would take everything in his person to refrain from IMMEDIATELY getting another egg in his hands as soon as Penny relieved him. " C'mon, Pen, say HELLO t' my LIL' FRIEND ~ " he snorted.

Alastor

Alastor loosens his embrace but doesn't quite break it, then politely tips his head back and looks at the ceiling—there, see? Not staring anymore.

"Eyes, a mouth, or an actual life inside it," Alastor mutters wryly, then tips his still-tilted head sideways to roll his eyes to Valera. "I'd bring you some catering from the next room over, but I don't think I've been forgiven yet from the last time I got you a snack."

Valera

Valera watches Pentious' reaction with a snort, then hauls herself up to sit on the edge of the tub and start wringing water out of her poor nightgown. Ugh, wet silk... Ah well, a little magic and it's as flouncy and befluffed with heaps of lace as ever, and now she can properly step out of the tub and join the rest of them on the floor without turning it into a hazard. There, it's a floor party now.

"Perhaps not, Alastor! I suppose I'll survive another hour or so before I start gnawing at anyone's kneecaps." A dramatic sigh, a long stretch, and she settles in to start finger combing her hair. "Angel, honey, I see you eyeing them. It's alright, you can hold them all." A pause, and she scoots over to cuddle up to Angel's side so she can half-murmur to him. "Not sure if Penny dear is up to even looking at them, look how pale he is! My feelings would be hurt if I hadn't expected some level of horror at the process."

Sir Pentious

Feelings *hurt*? Oh no. Usually he wouldn't care but this was Valera, his love, his light. There's a big frown as he looks at one of the eggs.

It's okay now, don't think about how it came out of her--he reaches a shaking hand toward the egg. Being called daddy by a little eelish child.... His eyes to THE THING as he takes hold of the egg with both hands....

And brings it in close against his chest. There might not be anything inside, but.... The fact there *could* be at a later date, a child between him and Valera....

Oh those big eyes aren't going away.

Angel

He didn't need to be told twice. Soon as he handed off the first egg to Penny, Angel dove back into the tub for the rest and promptly sat back up with them. He must've cleared the tub with how much water he threw, but the widest smile he could muster as he cuddled the two duds didn't care.

" They gotta be WARM though, don't they...? " he pouted first at Valera, then down at his chest. Forget FORM. NOW the famous fluff lost its FUNCTION. " Ya got a blowdrier in 'ere? Just gimme a minute wit' it and I'll be toastin' these babies in NO TIME! "

Alastor

Sir Pentious is taking the egg, does that mean it's safe to look at him again—? Oh. Oh look at that wonder on his face.

Nope. Definitely wasn't safe to look yet. Alastor drags his gaze away.

Now, why does Angel care about keeping the eggs warm? If anything, they ought to be kept cold to keep them from spoiling longer. They'd only need to be warm if something was in them—

Alastor's ear twitch as something in him quietly dings in realization. He turns to catch Valera's eye: *do you want to tell him or shall I?*

Valera

Catching Valera's eye is a bit harder than usual with the way she's watching Pentious go from grossed out to over the moon, but once he has it her eyes flicker between him and Angel. Processing, processing, give her a moment while she sorts through egg brain..

"I don't think we have one in here, actually? Penny doesn't have hair, and I don't need one. We'd have to ask Charlie or Niffty.. it's okay though, they'd be..." Oh wait.

The light turns on, and she nods a _go ahead_ to the cherry red radio man. Time to scoot her way to Pentious and give him a lil peck on the cheek with only A LITTLE hesitation. "Hi honey." A familiar doll manifests in Valera's hands, offered out to the proud father himself. She's still SOMEWHAT worried he might faint again, so. Look! A cute doll, easier to think about that!

Sir Pentious

His eyes are so big, it's amazing that they can do that considering he's not a feline. When he's kissed on the cheek, he looks to Valera, flicking his tongue--oh there's a cute doll!!! He remembers this doll. Going to take the doll too................ COBRA PURR. It sounds very horrifying unless you're in love with Sir Pentious,

Don't mind him, he's off in his own world here. Only barely listening to everyone else.

Angel

Off in his own adjacent world, Angel continued holding and beaming at the eggs like a proud mother of twins. If a drier was out of the question at the moment, he could towel dry. They had plenty of towels. He made a quick makeshift nest for the eggs in the middle of his crossed legs before doing due diligence with his fluff.

Then it dawned at him that he wasn't the only one in the room with hair. Fur. No matter. Fluff was fluff and it included deer fluff.

" Hey, Al. " Angel peeked at him from beneath a towel. " Ya got a drier in that void a yours I could borrow? " he asked as a pair of spare hands tucked in the eggs.

Alastor

Oh he's got a cobra purring against him. Said cobra isn't paying attention to him but it doesn't matter. He's being purred on. Hold on. Give him a second. He's having a moment of euphoria here—

—hold on who's talking to him. "Hm?" For a split second, between having rapidly dumped the prior conversation out of his short-term memory and the deep rumbling that Sir Pentious is putting out, he interprets "drier" as a clothing drier and nearly asks if Angel's planning to scramble the eggs in one. "I'm afraid not!"

Then he leans toward Angel as much as he thinks he can get away with without reminding Sir Pentious of where he's sitting, props his elbow on the rim of the tub and his cheek against his hand, nods toward the carefully-constructed nest, and asks, "Oh, Angel? You ARE aware that those eggs aren't alive, aren't you?"

Valera

Pentious and his horrible cobra purrs, charming two people in existence and nobody else. Valera grins, all set to snuggle into his side until she remembers that there are other people in the room. It's fine, she'll settle for a casual drape over his tail as she tunes back in.

"Oh? Uh, yeah Angel. They've got everything they need in there, but no spark of life to kick them off. I feel like I've mentioned that before?" She cocks her head, looking at Angel and his little nest. "Though if I'd known you'd get so parental over them..." A shrug, and she makes a vague, wiggly fingers motion at the eggs in his lap.

Angel

" You-uh... What? " Angel's brows sloped like a church steeple as he fought with how little to believe his ears. For all he knew, Alastor could be mocking him. His eyes almost narrowed, but rapidly MOISTENED as he took in what Valera had to say. _Guess they were RIGHT and HE was a paternally lovesick FOOL._

" ... No... " he responded solemnly with a pout, " Must a... went over m'head... " Was that a SNIFFLE? Angel was, in fact, sniffling. Whether it'd come to ANYONE'S surprise was up for debate. Either way, he was embarassed. So he twisted towards the tub and buried his face into his arms as the others hugged the nest.

" What a... " SNIFFLE. " We gonna be doin' wit' em', then...? " He popped a daring eye at Alastor. _' Don't say " eat them " , don't say " eat them " , **BRO. YA BETTA NOT SAY " EAT THEM " I SWEAR T' MARY JOSEPH AN' JESUS...!**_ '

Alastor

Alastor wants very very badly to laugh at Angel. Instead he stretches out one hand to Angel’s back. Pat pat.

“That’s entirely up to the parents!” Please say eat them, please say eat them, he’d really like to eat them—

Valera

Oh noooo... Valera reaches out, smiling sympathetically as she pats Angel's knee. Many pats on all sides for this spider, there there. "I know I'm the one who made them and all, but I'm leaving that up to my beau! ..Who's probably still out of it. Hang on." She slaps at Penny's back with her tail, just enough to jostle him.

"Babe! What do you want to do with the eggs? Keep them? Throw them out? Feed them to Alastor? Pretty sure Alastor wants to eat them, he's been joking about it the whole time."

Sir Pentious

Oh and jostled he is. His upper body wiggles in place like a cartoon character, comical woobwoobwoo sound and all!

He makes a *face* at Valera for that, promptly remembers he's holding an egg and a doll, and floomps out his hood--Sorry Alastor. You get a hood to the face. Smells like Sir Pentious though.

"EAT THEM??? THROW THEM OUT?!? NO!!! THEY ARE *MINE* AND NO ONE CAN HAVE THEM!!" And with that, he shoves the egg in his hat. The hat is making something akin to an uwu face.

"ANGEL DUST, GIVE ME THE OTHER EGGS AT O----Are you crying???"

Angel

" NO!! " A muffled Angel yelled from a towel, " I AIN'T CRYIN'! YOUSE THE FATHER! **YOU'RE** CRYIN'! "

Without freeing his face from the towel, his secondary and tertiary hands felt about the nest before carefully offering them off to Penny like the precious gems they were.

" THEY AIN'T ALIVE. REMEMBER?? " SNIFF! " THERE AIN'T! NOTHIN' T' BE CRYIN' ABOUT! " If he were to lift his face from that towel, it'd be covered in dusty pink make up and runny mascara. It's his now. He'll have to grope his way down the halls to his room before giving it up.

Alastor

Alastor’s immediately filled with a horrible mix of rage and terror at Valera’s words—it’s fine when HE talks about eating the eggs because he’s been very careful to phrase it as an OFFER to fry them up should the parents be interested, but if Valera’s words are Sir Pentious’s first introduction to the topic he’s going to think Alastor’s been preparing to snatch them up and dart off to the nearest skillet, and there’s another shard chiseled off of the very slender pillar of trust Alastor’s managed to build up with Sir Pentious—

And before he can start to consider damage control, he gets smacked in the face with a hood. He might have enjoyed the scent if he didn’t suddenly have his nose smashed into his face.

By the time Alastor manages to see around Sir Pentious’s hood, Angel is crying, Sir Pentious looks like he might be on the verge of crying, and Alastor’s not sure what to do but exchange a glance with Valera. All this for a bunch of duds.

Valera

Valera's trying not to laugh, she really is. But the melodrama happening in the bathroom is better than any soap opera she's ever seen, and it's happening live, audience participation mandatory! She grins gleefully at Alastor, all her teeth on display, then schools her expression back to the picture of sympathy as she scoots closer to stroke Angel's hair. There there, get a hug you sad spider.

"Hey, it's okay Angel. You're alright! I might be crying too, if I wasn't deathly averse to being vulnerable." Or if she were particularly emotional at the moment, but she's high on adrenaline and magic, not to mention SUPER hungry.

Sir Pentious

.................. He's gonna take these eggs, thank you. Into his hat they go. And then put his hat back on his head.

Strangely, the hat doesn't seem all that different, and it's also not drooping at all.

... Weird.

SIr Pentious sits back, and looks at Alastor with a *squint*. "WERE YOU GOING TO EAT THEM??? THEY CAME OUT OF MY WIFE, ALASTOR." That's as *Dude* as it gets.

Angel

Angel turned into Valera's chest to hide and try to preserve some dignity. He carefully wiped his face and eyes, intending to do so until no more makeup came off, but Penny yelling at Alastor caught his attention. A reddened eye subtly peeked from the fluff of the towel to catch the next act of drama now that he was off center stage.

Alastor

“*Valera* said I was going to eat them,” Alastor clarified patiently. “*I* said—*after* this initial accusation was made—that if the parents *wanted,* I would be *willing* to cook them up for you. I didn’t broach the topic and once it was broached I didn’t even ask to eat them myself. This is character assassination.”

Valera

The accused fish snorts, no venom in their voice as they lovingly combs their claws through Angel's hair. The gentlest little head scratches. You would accuse them, Alastor? They're over here looking like the next Virgin Mary comforting this weeping wannabe dad, and you accuse them of character assassination? Unbelievable. They'd be offended if they didn't love every second of this. "A vicious attack against the local cannibal, truly. He has a point though, he never said it outright."

They'll leave the implications of that statement up to interpretation, right now they have to nuzzle their face into top of Angel's head and purr for him. See? Much too busy comforting their friend for such things.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious blinked, looking from Alastor to Valera before he LAUGHED, putting an arm around Alastor and *bumping* his head to the deerman's.

"CHARACTER ASSSSSASSSSSINATION?? WHY, THAT MUSSSST BE THE ONLY THING THAT CAN KILL YOU IN HELL, MAN! NYA HA HA HAAAAAAA!"

Angel

There's still a bit of blackened smudge around his eyes, but OH is he in _BLISS!_ Instinctively, Angel's cheek chases the rumble of their throat and digs into the bones of Valera's collar for some more of that sweet, _sweet_ sensation. No drama. Just purring ~

Followed by snickering. Alastor's a bit _invested,_ isn't he?

Alastor

Is he ever invested. His eyes fly wide open when Sir Pentious pulls him in to bump, and then slide shut as he leeeans into the touch.

"The Radio Demon's only weakness." He's grinning dumbly, oh, this is so nice. Can he hug back, he's gonna hug back. "When you're as dangerous as I am, the only part of you that can be damaged is your reputation!"

Valera

Valera narrows her eyes, but holds her tongue, ignoring Pentious and Alastor in favor of doting on Angel. Just gonna curl her tail around the spusband and stay in her lane here.

A gentle murmur into that soft fluff. "I'm sorry Angel, if I'd known you were so excited about them being fertile eggs, I could have done something about it! But tell you what. Whenever I have a *real* clutch, I'll let you suggest a name, okay? Not guaranteed to use it, but I'll consider it."

Sir Pentious

It's a good thing that Sir Pentious couldn't see that eye narrowing, or else the mood would have taken a sharp turn into frigid winters. He was completely oblivious to Alastor's true feelings for him, assuming this was all well and good for friends to do. It was acceptable in his day, at least, for male friends to hang out like so and topple over one another. Although, he didn't really have friends of his own to topple with, so... this could be why he was so strange about it.

"AH, YESS! THAT ISS TRUE!! I SSTILL CONSSIDER MYSSSELF A MAN OF REPUTATION, OF A CERTAIN SSSTANDING! ALTHOUGH I DOUBT YOURSSS IS TARNISHED FROM WANTING TO EAT EGGSS. YOU DO EAT *PEOPLE.* IF YOU ARE SSSO SSSTARVED FOR AN OVAL DISH, YOU COULD GRAB ONE OF MINE!!!" A pause, "EGG BOIS. I MEAN EGG BOISS." WHat else would you have meant,

And then his eyes kind of go cross eyed.

"WHY ARE WE ALL SSITTING ON THE FLOOR!?"

Angel

The spider stifled some more GIGGLES when Valera offered him the high honor. TOO high an honor. Not so much because of WHO she was asking, but where the MOBSTER came from and the CUSTOMS they had.

" Oh, no. Babe. _No~_ " Angel earnestly prepared to administer himself a burn. " Have ya EVER heard a the names mafiosi come up wit' fa each other? Ontop a that, I gave M'SELF the name Angel Dust. Ya gonna end up wit' a name like Ecstasy. 'Cause that's what it fuckin'... FELT LIKE thinkin' these bambinos was live... "

He then plastered a playfully shameful hand over his face, sandwiching his head between that and Valera's chest. " Or _Babyface Bobby._ " YEAH. NO. Don't HUMOR HIM.

" Well there's only one seat in 'ere, " Angel joked with a jut of a thumb towards the toilet, " This place ain't made fa an audience, but 'ere we ARE... " He pushed up from Valera just enough to see their face. " Ya doin' ok, Sweets? "

Alastor

"It's not the eating of eggs that would damage my reputation," Alastor said, with an artificial air of great dignity. "It's the suggestion that I would start demanding the infertile offspring of a friend to eat without first waiting to see what said friend wants to do with them! I am not so inconsiderate to my friends!"

His invisible audience laughed at Angel's toilet explanation, and he cheerfully added, "The floor is a perfectly adequate seat!" Then he leaned over to elbow Angel. "If a child can be named Joy or Felicity with no trouble, I don't see any problem with Ecstasy." Look at that shit-eating grin.

Valera

The grin on Val's face is edging towards Maniacally Cheerful as opposed to comforting and maternal, but it's fine. Angel can't be upset if he's busy cracking up like a microwaved egg. The daintiest little gasp, and she places the very tips of her fingers to her cheek.

"But hun, darling, baby, that's exactly what I want! You think any kid unfortunate enough to come out of me is getting a *normal* name? I expect only the FINEST suggestions." A pause to dramatically chef kiss her fingers, and she carries on with gusto. "I'm talking the WORST puns imaginable. Same goes for you, Alastor. Don't let me down."

Sir Pentious

Well now they're all speaking loud enough for Penny to hear them... And he's frowning. Puns??? Of course, he liked a good pun, but. All he could imagine was his beloved future daughter being mocked for having a ridiculous name!

So he begins moving like he's intending to get up, "THE FLOOR ISSS NOT NEARLY AS COMFORTABLE AS THE SSSOFA. I SHALL RETURN THERE! THE LEFTOVER TEA CALLSSSS TO ME." And he swivels his body around, moving to just PICK UP Valera, pulling her into his arms, "ALSO I AM TAKING *MY* WIFE WITH ME." Why does he say that so pointedly. Why are you so aggressive, Penny.

He. Can't fully lift her, but she can ride the Penny Engine out of the bathroom, byeeee.

Angel

In the midst of tossing his head back to LAUGH, Angel bumped his head on the edge of the sink. He only cringed for a second, though, as he all but immediately continued bursting.

" 'AIGHT VAL, I won't let ya down. If ya get yourself another set of triplets, Joy, Felicity, and Ecstacy are contenders. "

He leaned out of the way of the shifting masses of enormous tails, waving off his friend with an imaginary hankie. " Go ahead. I'll clean up all the water and be back after I, uh... dry. " Being seen without his fluff was worse than being seen without makeup. And now the three of them had experienced both. Angel hid his embarassment best he could with a casual jut of his chin in Alastor's direction.

" Ya need help cleanin' up the bottles, too? "

Alastor

Alastor gets to his feet. Goodness, he’s soaking too. With a flick of one hand he casts the worst of it out of his clothing, leaving himself only slightly damp.

“The glass has already been dealt with.” The glass has already been relocated, at any rate; whether or not it’s been dealt with is up to Husk now. “I can clean up the booze myself!”

He glances around the bathroom, decides he’s been plenty helpful enough already and no need to clean up the water too, and sweeps out to rejoin the party. There’s a whole table of snacks he left behind and he’s starving.

#chat log #autokrates #hissandvinegar #sluttyspiderpolkacock

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