#gotta fix that sooner or later
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23z567 · 8 days ago
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DECEMBER 2024 - JULY 2024
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pyromotha · 12 days ago
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aight quit edging that shit man, fondle that bussy som more
I stimulate the economy by tickling its scrotum
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longroadstonowhere · 1 year ago
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hm
welp, guess i get to go hunting for a desk fan tomorrow
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judes-hoe · 4 months ago
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Lingerie ~ KM9
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Parrings ~ Kylian Mbappé x reader
Summary ~ Kylian loves your lingerie, that’s exactly how you got pregnant after your wedding. Now that you’re cleaning out your closet and dresser getting rid of clothes for you to donate, Kylian sees lingerie he’s never seen.
Warnings ~ blowjob, pregnancy
A/N ~ was gonna make this a Jude…but I need to make more Kylian fics so❤️.
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You were going through your clothes, you had so many clothes from like 10 years ago that you need to get rid of and donate. You were also 8 months pregnant, why? Well Kylian got you pregnant on your honeymoon, cause of your lingerie sets.
As you were going through your last drawer, Kylian walks in a sees clothes on the floor but his eyes land on a certain pile. “Woah, never seen these before?” He said with a smirk as he picks up a maid lingerie set. “Well I didn’t get to wear some for you, cause look where we are.” You said looking at your round stomach. “How many do you have?” He said looking at all of them.
“I don’t know…all I know is I only got to use three with you so far.” You said folding the clothes and putting them back. “The second you can have sex again after our baby comes out…I need to see you in these.” He said picking up different sets, he can’t help but groan at them. “Is this a nurse set?!” He said holding it up. “Women you are crazy.” He said adjusting his shorts.
“You love it, so much you got me pregnant.” You said letting out a little laugh. “You were gonna get pregnant sooner or later.” He jokes. “You gotta help me out now.” He said looking at you and fixing the painfully hard cock in his shorts.
You just roll your eyes and make him sit on the edge of the bed, you sit on your knees to the best of your abilities with your round stomach. You pull his shorts and boxers down so they pool at his feet. You spit in your hand and wrap his around his cock. You take you other hand and wipe the spot of pre cum around his tip. “Please amour..” Kylian begged.
Anytime you heard Kylian beg you, it made your stomach tingle; and you gave him what he wanted. You lick from the base of his cock all the way to his tip, before put his whole cock in your mouth. He lets out a groan and grips the sheets. You move your mouth up and down, gaging a little.
You bring one of your hands to his balls, and give them a soft squeeze making him moan softly. As you do that you take your other hand and put it under his shirt to feel his body. He gently bucked his hips at your touch. He lets out breathy moans and sighs. “oh mon Dieu, tu es trop bon.” He spoke in his native tongue.
Anytime Kylian spoke French, you knew he was close. You speed up a little and squeeze his balls a little tighter. “merde, je jouis!” He said loudly letting out a few loud groans. Bucking his hips up as you feel his warm cum shoot in your mouth. You swallow and hallow your cheek giving him a last few sucks before pulling him off.
You get up off the floor and kiss him, making him taste a little of himself. “Women you are a goddess and I love you.” He said. “I love you too baby.” You said. “And trust me, the second I can have sex again after I give birth…I will make sure we get a night alone and I’ll give you a show off all the lingerie sets I have that you haven’t seen.” Your smirk and kiss him one last time before attending back to your clothes.
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A/N ~ here you go:)
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writtenbymoonflower · 10 months ago
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ok so,,,, i love your poly!mauraders fics like sm!!! i’d love to request their getting together story with the reader, like maybe she shares a class with each of them individually or something and they’re already together but they also all end up having a crush on her. feel free to run with this i just adore your writing.
thanks for requesting, lovely! poly!marauders x fem!reader
cw: none
900 words
You looked lost walking into the common room, clutching your book tight. Three heads turned at the sound of your Mary Janes hitting the ground. 
“Y/N! Haven’t seen you all day, where’ve you been runnin’ off to? C’mere, darling!” James opened his arms expectantly. You walked over, letting him hug your hips as you greeted the other boys. You were familiar with the group, sharing a few classes with them. You also ate lunch together every day and spent time in the common room at night. They were always soft and sweet on you, and you on them, you never understood it but you happily accepted. 
It just was difficult for you, because you liked them. You liked them a lot. They plagued your thoughts constantly, and their easy affection did not help the situation. You knew, the whole school knew, that the three boys were dating, they made it very obvious. You knew that you had no chance with them. They were happy and settled. You were happy for them, but it didn’t ease your yearning. You had been avoiding them for the last few days because of it, but they hadn’t made it easy. You winced, knowing that you would have to address your feelings. Sooner, rather than later it seemed.
“Hi!” You said shyly to the three boys, smiling. 
“You look really nice today, love.” Remus said, not hiding how his eyes raked your form. Your whole body heated, looking away from him. 
“Thank you,” You leaned more into James, making sure to keep it polite, even as his hands slipped slightly under the hem of your skirt. You pulled away, making James give you a concerned look. 
“You okay, honey?” James looked up at you with his big doe eyes, making your heart clench. 
“Yeah I’m okay, I just… I just need to talk to you guys.” You moved to be away from them, sitting in front of the couch they were all strewn across. 
“Okay,” Remus said, skeptically, setting his book down. Sirius fixed his gray eyes on you in a way that made you want to run away. 
“Okay,” You repeated, mentally preparing yourself for the (likely horrible) outcome.
“You don’t gotta be nervous, dolly.” Sirius said, much more softly than usually. “It’s just us.”
Yeah, it’s you three. You thought. 
“Okay, so, I know that we spend a lot of time together, and we are all friends. And I know that you three are like, together together.” You braced. They all looked confused but didn’t say anything. “I just um… well, I’ve developed some feelings for you three, and believe me, I tried. I tried to make them go away, I just, can’t I guess.” You started to tear up, looking down at your lap so they wouldn’t see. “Anyway, I’m really sorry if that makes things weird, I just… thought you should know.” You trailed off, shredding your cuticles from your anxious fidgeting. Sirius coughed out a laugh, making you inhale sharply. 
“Um, babe… we know. You thought we didn’t?” He asked, humor tilting his voice. You felt your heart sink. Had they all known and were making fun of you for it? You heard a book hit Sirius’ chest.
“Christ, Pads. Are you helping or are you hurting?” Remus scolded. “Y/N, dovey. We know, and the reason Sirius reacted like that,” He said accusatively at the dark-haired boy. “Is because, well, we thought that you knew that we know.” 
“And,” James cut in. “We thought that you knew we felt the same way.” He said, sounding confused. 
“Yeah,” Sirius’ voice was still tinged with humor. “Babe, I know that we haven’t really talked about it, but I thought you knew, you’re with us.” Tears just streamed further down your face, all the emotions catching up to you. You were not only relieved, but happily confused. You wiped your eyes. You looked up at them. 
“Oh,” You said, “I- I didn’t know that. I’m happy! I just thought you didn’t like me like that.” James looked appalled. 
“Shit, angel, are you crying?” He sounded horrified. “Come here.” You scrambled over to him, letting him pull you into his lap sideways while Sirius leaned over to wipe your eyes. 
“Baby,” Sirius laughed pitifully. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” 
“It’s okay, I’m just relieved. I thought you wouldn’t want to see me after this.” 
“Sweetheart,” James said miserably. “We all really, really like you. Do you think we would’ve been this sweet to you if we didn’t? Is this your way of telling us we need to up our game?” He laughed. 
“No! I’m just stupid.” You laughed wetly. 
“You’re not stupid,” Remus looked at you scoldingly. “We just didn’t communicate. So, Y/N, we all really like you, and we want to be with you, the way we are with each other.” He looked deep into your eyes, amber irises swimming with fondness. “How does that sound to you?” 
“I would really like that.” You said shyly, leaning into James. He wrapped you up tighter. 
“Aw, sweet girl. I’m sorry you were so worried.” James cooed. You boldly touched James’ face, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. 
“It’s okay, I know now.” You reassured. Sirius tore you from James’ grasp. 
“Okay, my turn!” He kissed your forehead with a loud smack. 
You could get used to this.
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hellfire--cult · 5 months ago
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Edit of Eddie: pitifulbaby
Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters, plotline and general warnings.)
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU, Mechanic!Eddie
⚠️18+: sexual tension, drinking, characters are drunk, clubbing, flirting and pining, i won't spoil the content of the chapter
wc: 14.5K
A/N: It's been... months. I know this. I got into a real bad writer's block and I am not sure it is entirely gone, but I have finally finished this chapter after struggling. I don't like how it turned out, feeling like I was all over the place with the idea and no matter how many times i proofread I just cannot get it right, but I hope that for the next chapter I do better! I hope you enjoy it and I am so sorry for taking so long!
Anyways, Enjoy! ❤️ And don't forget to always support me by hitting the reblog button or leave a comment!
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CHAPTER 16
“Wayne…”
“It’s not that bad Eds, with the medication and all–”
“You don’t understand pops. This– Fuck Wayne… You can’t leave me like this, with this condition of mine I– I have no chance of a partner… I will be alone…” He couldn’t lose Wayne. He didn’t want to believe what he read in the doctor’s verdict after many tests done on the old man. 
The medication would only stall the end. There is no chance that lung cancer can be cured, and if there is any at all, it should have been caught before the spread… which did not happen in this case.
“Eddie, you don’t know that… And you don’t know if I will leave you son, don’t get rid of your old man just like that.” And Eddie could see Wayne’s eyes glistening with tears through the camera on his phone. He knows his uncle did not like these results either. He knows. Eddie could only think of the test results and knew how much money the chemotherapy sessions would cost. He knows that medication and hospital bills will go off the roof and Wayne’s retirement money is not going to cover it all up.
So Eddie has to make a decision. He needs to make money, lots of it, and his auto shop in the city is doing amazingly well. He needs to leave Wayne behind at Hawkins, even if it hurts him. He needs to take care of Wayne. His friends are here too, and Argyle was also planning to move here. He wanted to at least try to keep Wayne healthy. As long as he possibly can because with Wayne gone…
He would end up all alone.
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He lets out a grunt as he secures the last lug nut of the center hub of a tire with his impact wrench. He turns it off and places it on the floor, rubbing the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He looks at his watch and stands up, wiping his knee that he used for kneeling.
“Gareth, did you finish the–”
“Yes, I fucking did, and it was a bitch, and I don’t ever want you to put me through that again.” The younger man whined as he tried to scrub off the excess of grease that was on his hands. Eddie winced at the sharp tone of his voice, but Gareth needed to learn how to do it, sooner or later.
It’s not an everyday occurrence to fix someone’s motor. A point where it’s not working but not broken enough for replacement. Breaking it apart, bit by bit in order to find the problem of it all and then putting it back together. It’s extensive, and it hurts your brain but someone’s gotta do it, and Eddie had already done it several times-
“I will put you through it whenever I want. Remember that you take thirty percent of what this person pays for fixing it. It’s not a cheap fix, maybe you can finally go to Hawaii.” Eddie chuckles and Jeff snorts in the background as he stops inspecting the motor of a car in order to laugh. Gareth scrunches his nose at both of his friends.
“It’s not wrong for me to want to be on a nice beach, drinking a coconut and then splashing on Caribbean water later on! Maybe even have a nice cute Hawaiian girl dancing next to a palm tree.” Gareth sighed dreamily while Eddie and Jeff turned slowly towards each other and let out a very ugly laugh. 
“Okay, um, nice imagination there Gar.” Jeff chuckled as he went back to checking his own car and Gareth simply huffed, puffing his chest out.
“You’ll see the pictures and you’ll envy me.” And he pushed by Eddie, walking towards the large sink that’s at the back where the toolboxes are. Eddie has a smile on his face as he then shakes his head and hunches over to see Gareth’s work on the engine. He inspects the bolts’ placing, if the vents were positioned correctly and–
“Boss, she’s back.” Jeff sings with a wiggle of eyebrows and Eddie raises one of his at him and then turns his head to see a woman, arms crossed over her chest, office attire on, short black skirt, black blazer with a baby pink blouse peeking from the V cut.
Compared to Eddie, who was wearing a white wife-beater and some overalls covered in grease, one strap down, and a messy bun on his head to keep the hair out of his face, and probably more oil. His eyes scanned the woman again, from head to toe, and he felt a little bit excited about seeing her.
“My favorite customer.” Eddie smiles as you tap your foot on the floor, wearing your low heels that are formal yet somehow modern.
“I swear to god Eddie, I am cursed. I am losing my patience with my car.” You whined out which only made him roll his eyes. For the past two months you and he had become friends, your car had to go into his shop many times because one week was the oil tank coming off and the next it was your radio malfunctioning, and Eddie had told you, time and time again–
“Your car is shit sweetheart.” You only gasped at his words and shook your head.
“No, it is not! It’s a little old, yes, but– It still runs.” You said, proudly so, sticking your nose up which only made Eddie squint at you.
“Mhm… and what happened to it now?” He asked with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes followed yours, and he noticed it. He saw how your eyes flickered to his biceps, how they puffed thanks to the press. He held back a smirk as your eyes found his again, your posture becoming straight once more.
“Well, I feel the brake pedal a little bit hard to press. It started this morning.” He tilted his head in confusion at that because he had looked over your brakes, and they looked fine, almost the best thing in your whole car. His eyebrows were furrowed together as he scratched the back of his neck in thought.
“Alright. Let’s go see.” And you gave him a nod before walking out from the open garage door. Eddie looked to his side as he followed right behind you and Jeff only winked at him before proceeding with his own car. Eddie rolled his eyes but then, when they centered back, they fell on your behind.
The skirt hugged you tightly, and it was the right shade of black for you. It wasn’t too short nor past your knees. It was a simple office attire, something that shouldn’t get him going the way it is. And it has been happening more and more as time went on. Ever since that stupid night where he got to taste you, even if briefly, it was enough for him to admit the attraction he had for you.
He had been trying to push that urge away. You are a friend, you two share the same group of people, and it would be stupid to enter into a physical relationship with you… But fuck if he didn’t want to turn you around, get your ass on top of the hood of your car and raise your skirt far enough that you would reveal yourself to him.
He wanted to wreck you, ravish every single part of you and his curiosity of how you are in bed sometimes gets the best of him. The whole year filled of pent up anger and frustration over you didn’t exactly leave. Even if you were at the top of his hit list before, you were also this forbidden fruit for him.
He had looked at you many times when he was supposed to despise you in body and soul. He hated himself when he caught his eyes staring at your cleavage more times than they should. Your body as it moved when you went clubbing with the whole group. Your lips against another person’s and how they moved gracefully against them.
And now, he tasted them. The softness, the flavor… and fuck he wanted more of that. It was greedy, he knew that, and he would have stopped these thoughts and these urges…
If it weren’t for the fact that he knew, he absolutely knew, you felt it too.
Ever since you broke up with Billy, the physical touches became more frequent, tentative, testing, and only just barely. A graze of fingers, a press on the shoulder, a bump, a shove. He could feel your eyes, he could feel you scanning him from head to toe whenever you all got together. 
He noticed how unsatisfied you were, whenever you complained about the hookups you had been having lately. He wondered if you were ever fully satisfied with Billy, but maybe your feelings made you feel like you were.
And he wanted to show you just how good he could make you feel. He wanted to show you what his body could do, what his urges could impulse him to do, and what his tongue could provoke. He wanted to brand himself in your brain and on your skin, mark himself in your memory. 
He wondered now if he could make a dent in your hood from how hard he would pound–
“Are you listening to me?”
Your voice took him away from his thoughts, and he nodded at you as he wiped his hands with the rag he had in his back pocket. You had turned around, at some point, and to be completely honest, the need of tainting you didn’t leave him one bit as he saw your scrunched-up face.
“Let me check the pedal, first and foremost.” With that, he rounded your car that you parked at the front of his shop, and he opened the driver’s seat. The smell of your perfume filled his nostrils and he took a deep breath in and leaned down, bending over to reach the brake pedal and press on it. 
Only for his hand to stop in the middle of it as a laugh exploded out of him.
“What? Why are you laughing!?” You asked, confused and stunned as he straightened up and held his hand up that now held something, your face flushing in embarrassment as you choked on your words.
“Isn’t this fucking adorable.” In his hand was a small hand-sized plushie, a Squishmallow to be exact, and it was a little bat. He squeezed it a few times and he assumed it was kind of like a stress ball for you. 
“I– It must have… fallen from my purse…” You wanted the earth to swallow you whole, Eddie could sense it, so he chuckled and squeezed it hard.
“I might keep him as payment. Matches my tattoo.” And he noticed your eyes drifting to his right arm and then back at the plushie, rushing over to him to try to snatch it away, only for Eddie to be quicker and move his hand all the way up. You frowned at him, a challenge in your eyes.
“You know what I will do if you don’t give it back.” And oh he knew. He is expecting it. He yearns to feel your body against his like that time with the Pringles can. The way you clawed up on his body, your nails digging into his shoulder as your chest was almost at his eye level when you tried to reach for the can. 
“You cannot do that now, your ass will show.” He only smirked at you as your mouth opened and closed, like a fish, and you looked at the bat plushie in his hand. “You didn’t have to make an excuse in order to see me, Peach.”
You scoffed at him and shook your head as embarrassment washed over you. He could easily keep pushing your buttons, but even he knows about work schedules. Begrudgingly, he handed over the small plushie to you and you snagged it out of his hand in a second with a glare in your eyes.
“I didn’t. You and I both know that.” You turned around to face your driver’s door, putting the plushie inside your bag again as you fixed things around and Eddie couldn’t contain himself. He wanted to have a smell of your perfume coming off from you. He leaned close, breath at the back of your neck and his voice three tones lower, sending shivers and electricity down your spine.
“Do we now?” He saw your shoulders tense slightly and he wished he could see your face. More confirmations that this thing was not one sided. He took a breath in and your scent is floral today, sort of, matching the air around you, the incoming spring. 
What he didn’t expect you to do was to turn around with a small smirk on your face, a cocky one and it made his eyebrow go up in question. Your eyes stayed on his as he tilted his head to urge you to talk.
“Sounds like you were the one who missed me, Munson.” 
And that really sent him close to the edge. He wanted to shut that pretty mouth of yours up. He wanted nonsense to come out of your lips. He wanted his name to be said, to be yelled as you unravel under his touch. Drooling so much that you wouldn’t be able to formulate words. 
“Cocky, aren’t you Peach?” You rolled your eyes at him, those pretty eyes he wants to see rolling to the back of your head. 
“But you are not denying it.” 
And oh you are playing a very dangerous game here because–
“Eddie, I’m sorry to interrupt your flirting session–” Gareth interrupted and Eddie almost growled at his friends as you stuttered, looking at his friend.
“Gareth– It’s not–”
“Sure, whatever you two say. Eddie, Mr. Gomez called. Said he wants to book a service for his collectible.” And Eddie groaned at that, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He was the only one in the shop who had enough training and experience to work with delicate cars. He is the only one that can take this kind of tedious and slow job.
“Right.” He sighed in defeat as he slowly turned to look back at you, his arms crossed over his chest. “That’ll be a hundred bucks.”
Your mouth fell open as your hand raised and swatted his shoulder, finally letting out a held-in chuckle from his throat, prompting you to smile as well. The relationship was different, yet it wasn’t. There’s just this back and forth between the two of you, more than simple bantering, more than simply getting on each other’s nerves. 
And he takes full responsibility for it, the question is… do you?
“No. You even tried to kidnap Carlisle.” Eddie frowned at the name, not understanding what you meant for a second, to then snort out, his eyebrows raising up in surprise as he looked at you.
“You named the plushie Carlisle? Are you serious?” You gave him an offended look and raised your nose at him. He wanted to crack up, but he held it in, you looked way too adorable to say anything about it.
“You named your Mustang She-ra.” He groaned and rolled his eyes, hating the day he told you about how he always puts a name on his most precious things. His electric guitar is called Gilda, while his van is called Kratos. 
“At least she is known, I don’t know where you got a name like Carlisle–”
“Twilight.” And Eddie could only hold it in for one more second before snorting and looking away from you, pressing his fist to his mouth. You only rolled your eyes at him and gave him a small shove on his arm which only prompted him to keep chuckling. 
“Of course it’s Twilight.” He only comments as he turns to look at you again. You flipped him off as you got into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut. He smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “No payment?”
“You want a kiss or something Munson?” He knows it’s a joke, he knows it is but he also feels and hears the suggestion, the small and indirect invitation. He only smirks as he bends forward, his crossed forearms coming to a rest on the rolled down window as his face moves close to yours. 
Your eyes express confusion, but your body movement betrays you as you don’t move away from him, not even an inch. His grin is visible and his gaze holds fire and want as he quickly looks over your lips and then back at your eyes.
“Can’t get enough?” His voice was low, and you felt your whole body grow goosebumps at it and how intensely he looked at you. It was just one push and your lips would touch his, you could taste him again, and even more than before… but you can’t. You both can’t.
So you pushed him off on his shoulder, making him chuckle and stumble away from your driver’s window, still looking down at you. You cleared your throat as you started your car again and fixed the rear-view mirror. Your eyes lit up and looked at him once more.
“Oh, today we’re doing the pre-game at my apartment, so just bring whatever you wanna drink Munson.” His eyes widened slightly at that but still nodded at your instruction. It’s been a while since the group went out clubbing, and it would be the first time he and you would also go out on good terms. 
Before, when clubbing, you two stayed as far away as one could, the only incident where he got close being the one where a guy didn’t understand the word ‘No’. Now there’s no need for that separation, for that space… Would you two dance together? Hopefully not… because you don’t trust yourself not rubbing your body seductively against his. And he doesn’t trust himself in not grabbing your hips to pull you flush against him.
‘Get yourself together.’ You repeat in your head to yourself. Eddie is a friend. Just that and nothing more. He can’t be something more. It’ll ruin it. Curiosity be damned.
“Alright, we’re going to Scorpion, right?” You nodded at the name of the club, and he gave a hum of approval and tapped on the hood of your car to get you going. “Go before you are late to an important meeting or something, Miss Executive.” 
“I do my job well, what can I say.” Your voice is confident when saying that and Eddie has no power in teasing you about it. He liked it when you were sure of something, much more when it came to yourself. “See you later Eds.” 
“See you later Peach.” You gave him one small smile before you got out of his parking and drove off. He let a loud sigh escape his lips as he looked towards the sky, not noticing he was holding one to begin with.
How the fuck is he going to survive you tonight?
He remembers the outfits you wore when going out, and he had stared more than once in a single night. He hated you more than he did at the time for catching his eye. The dislike he felt for you gave him the stop sign to not flirt with you, but now– the only stop sign there is, is doubt.
He is perceptive, been so since a teenager, but you feel like a challenge. He never once doubted when approaching a woman to take home for the night, never had a long-term lover either, but you are different. Everything is different. 
Even if you two have the same attraction and same need, how can he be certain that it won’t be weird afterwards? How can he be certain that it won’t destroy the group you two finally can enjoy together and in peace? Is he ready to sacrifice that in order to have a piece of you? 
Now let’s say you two do end up having sex and continue doing so… what happens when one of you two decides to end it? Go for an actual relationship? How are you two going to face one another once that whole sex-buddy thing wilters into nothing? He doesn’t even know himself. He had always been confident but– this situation was new.
You’re no stranger. And that makes everything much more harder than before. 
“Eddie! Mr. Gomez!” He can hear Gareth screaming from inside again and he turns with a groan and a frown on his face. 
“I am going! Fucking christ!”
Those kinds of thoughts might need to be left aside for now.
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You looked in the mirror to look at yourself one more time. You felt your heart race slightly from time to time and your belly turning as well, as if you had butterflies from nervousness and anticipation blooming inside. 
And you know why. And you hate the fact that you know why.
You had cursed at yourself when you promised you wouldn’t shave and yet you still grabbed the razor that was sitting on the corner of your bathtub. You said you wouldn’t do a lot of make up to impress, yet you did a full face. You also said you were going to wear something comfortable tonight, not wanting anything but to have fun with your friends.
And now you had some high-rise oxford pants with a short crop top that had long bell sleeves, and high heels on your feet. Pants you often used to show off your ass when dancing. You wanted to literally punch yourself because you know who you want to show off to. 
Why would you do this? To get some reaction from him? You already made up your mind that nothing was going to happen between the two of you. It cannot happen. The circle would break if you do… but maybe you end up not liking it and he feels the same way and you two end up as friends only?
That would be the best outcome. But what if you do like it and he doesn’t? That would make you feel horrible, and you know it because you want him to like it. To like you. To worship your body. You want him to remember you and even consider you his best. Maybe it is to show him what he has been missing for so long if he hadn’t been a douche from the start. Maybe it is because you just have an ego problem.
Either way,  Eddie has made his way into your brain almost every day… and even in your dreams.
The first time you dreamt of him was after the quick peck you gave him back at his house. You went to sleep, a little bit of a carousel going on in your head thanks to the alcohol you drank that night, but even the spins didn’t stop your mind from imagining things. 
You remember it, vividly so. He was at the end of your bed, standing and looking down at you. You were naked and felt as if you were burning all over, goosebumps forming in need of touch. His touch. 
He was shirtless, and you could imagine it perfectly thanks to all those mirror stories he posted on Instagram. You could remember every tattoo he had. His chest, his neck, his arms… You remembered them all, even the smaller ones, and you wished you knew the ones on his back if he had any.
He leaned down, planting a kiss on your collarbone first, and you could feel the stubble on his face tickle you, send shivers down every skin cell of your body, goosebumps worsening. His hands, his big ringed hands that also were filled with ink, trailed your sides, exploring you and taking in every dent, curve, and chuckling at the feel of that chicken skin he provoked on you. 
The chuckle sounded too real, so low that you truly believed he infiltrated your dream with a superpower he hid from all of you. Had he engrained himself in your brain so badly that you didn’t miss a single detail? You hadn’t noticed how much you’ve been wanting him till that night, and your body and brain let you know of that fact.
‘You won’t be able to fuck someone else ever again after me. Trust me on that Peach.’ That’s what he said before trailing his lips down your body, making you arch your back as his teeth often nibbled at different parts of your skin. You wanted those nibbles to turn into bites, teeth marking you, making you bleed, digging into the cells of your body until you were consumed by him. 
He was reaching that part of you that ached for touch, for friction, for satisfaction. That part of you that can try to make the fire inside you diminish if touched or worsen it, but you wanted to find out. His lips kissed your hips, hands gliding downwards as you looked down at him only to see him looking back with a grin on his face.
You let out a moan as you parted your legs for him to slot better in between them, his teeth biting a little harder at the skin on your hip in approval. You saw him slowly lay down on his belly, his smile never leaving his face as you felt a breeze on your wet center. It felt too real, too vivid, too lucid. You felt the coldness of it, the air, the pleasure around your clit thanks to it. 
But your body betrayed you that night and you jolted awake when your phone loudly rang, and the first thing you felt was the wetness between your legs. For Eddie. For Eddie Munson. You were wet for your past enemy, who became your friend, and now–
You didn’t know if you wanted to kill the person on the other side of the phone or thank them for stopping you from imagining stuff like that. It was just a wet dream you had and a friend was the protagonist. Those things happen, they’re normal… The problem was that the normal thing would be to feel weird and disgusted by it, but you felt the complete opposite. 
You wanted the dream to continue. You wanted that dream to go on and dream of what it would feel like to have his tongue on you and inside of you. You wanted to know if your imagination was kind enough to let you feel it entirely, just like everything else. But it cannot happen. You should have been glad it stopped where it did.
But the dreams didn’t stop, and sometimes you found yourself daydreaming in your office about them again, making you straighten up or jolt whenever you caught yourself doing so. You couldn’t let your body indulge in it, and much less your mind. 
It was no use. He just kept appearing in your instagram stories, and your eyes always looked for him in every room whenever you knew he was near or was going to be present. You are always eager to see him and it drives you mad. He drives you mad. And you hate him so much for making you realize–
That you want to ride him until he sees the earth from the moon or beyond.
Back in the present, you clench your eyes tightly so that you could forget those images, or how he leaned over today and his breath hit your face as well as his stupid cologne. It was leathery today, but also the hint of car oil lingered on him, which only made your stomach turn harder. 
He knew what he was doing. You knew what he was doing. Is he brave enough and has the guts you don’t have to take the risk? Does he have the same lingering thoughts you do? The what ifs? The consequences of it happening? If he didn’t he would have done something already… right?
You can’t take that step yourself, afraid of ruining it all. You finally can be at peace in your circle of friends, you repeat this to yourself every time you think about him as more than just a friend. When you think about his naked body against yours. When you think of how he would feel inside of you.
Would he be able to satisfy you? Fill you?
You doubt it. But, what if–
You jump in your place as a loud ring snaps you out of your thoughts. Your intercom goes off as it yells at you that your friends have arrived. You took one last look at yourself and nodded as you promised that this thing you were doing wasn’t for Eddie. It’s just a passing attraction. Something that will die down soon if not indulged. 
You sprayed one last bit of perfume before heading out of your room and into the living room area. You looked at the screen to see Robin smiling close to the camera with Steve and Jonathan behind her, waving at you. You shook your head at the goofiness of your friend and pressed the button to let them in, hearing the buzz through the speaker. They walked in and you unlocked your front door for them to just walk in.
You could feel your stomach turning a bit still, wondering if he would be in time, or if he was coming at all, and… the dread of seeing him with someone tonight. You didn’t think of that. Oh god, you didn’t think of– Why are you worrying? Isn’t it best if he goes with someone else tonight? Maybe if you see him with another woman, these desires will vanish… but what if it does the complete opposite?
What if you wish to be her? But he is nothing to you, just a friend, that’s it… You shouldn’t care if he goes with someone else, you really shouldn’t but why do you feel like you would be sort of hurt about it? Why do you feel like you are losing? 
What did Eddie Munson do for your brain to be this mushed because of him?
You couldn’t think too much of it because Robin walked in, holding a bag as if in victory, letting you know she brought vodka for tonight. You winced towards Steve as he walked in through the door, already sighing at the night ahead of him as designated driver for her and Jonathan. Argyle was the designated driver for Nancy, Eddie and you. 
“I swear Robin… I know it’s been a while since we’ve gone out but–” Steve started only to receive a glare from your best friend as Jonathan closed the door behind him.
“It’s been months! Plus, we can finally pregame all together!” And you were excited for it too. The pregames before being Eddie’s friend were a little tense, always on edge of saying the wrong thing in front of one another and making the night a bitter one.
Now another type of edge is nestled within you. Between you two. But it’s as if you cannot control yourself when around him. You always give a remark, a word, or a sentence with a double meaning, or you always one-up him in his closeness. If he brushes his thumb against yours, you brush your five fingers at the top of his hand. 
If he makes a joke with a flirty tone, you follow it through… like today, asking him if he wanted to kiss you again. He was the one who continued it, getting close to you, testing you, not even in a teasing manner. You know it’s not one-sided. This thing that is going on is affecting the two of you, and it’s a matter of never doing anything about it or… waiting for who breaks first.
“Chill Robin, it’s going to be a calm night.” Is what you say but do you truly believe it will be? The twisting in your stomach came again so you walked towards your kitchen to get some beers out as the rest walked in, ready to prepare the glasses, snacks, and drinks. You immediately popped open a can and took a chug out of it, wanting to quench whatever was inside your stomach.
“Is it?” Jonathan asked with a chuckle, looking at how you immediately started drinking. You glanced at him and gave him an innocent smile, receiving a roll of the eyes back as he leaned over the island counter to grab a beer himself. 
“Ugh…” Steve groaned as he looked at the beer, crossing his arms over his chest. “This is certainly not fair.”
“I drove us home last time. I held myself back because I knew you wouldn’t.” Jonathan chuckled and his boyfriend only glared at him in response, opening his mouth to say something to him only for the ringing to start again.
Goosebumps raided your skin from neck to toes. You moved a little too quickly as you walked out of the kitchen to rush to the intercom, looking at the screen. You felt your stomach twist when you saw him putting a cigarette out with a stomp as Argyle talked to him. Nancy was only shaking her head as she looked into the camera and waved. 
You bit your lip as you pressed the button, taking a deep breath in as it buzzed. Eddie looked up into the camera before walking in and he smirked, flipping his middle finger up towards you and that made the tension in your stomach loosen a bit. A chuckle escaped you as you shook your head at his antics. 
You can do this. If you keep this friendly banter like you always do it will be an easy task. It should be. You took a swig of your beer as you looked at the door and then back at the kitchen. 
You have to appear uninterested because if you do, you will believe it. You have to believe it. Nothing can happen between the two of you, and it should be clear that it shouldn’t because your friends are in the kitchen, and more are coming up. This wouldn’t have happened months ago. Eddie entering your home wouldn’t have happened, ever. 
You should appreciate what you have and stop asking for more. Stop desiring for more. Stop dreaming for more. It’s enough as it is, what you two have is enough. He’s been a great friend to you, letting you vent, lending you a shoulder, making you laugh, and it should be enough…
But that stupid fucking kiss always comes back.
The door opened making your head turn to see Argyle walking in first and immediately walking towards you to give you a kiss on the cheek as a greeting. You rolled your eyes as you smelled the weed on him already.
“Hello hello, my dudette.” He smiles at you as he looks behind him, making your eyes follow his gaze. Your breath catches in your throat as you see Nancy walking in, followed by Eddie who is holding a six-pack with one hand, the other stuck into the pocket of his denim jacket. Black shirt hugging his torso, tightly, the tattoos poking out from the small V-neck it has.
Your eyes drifted lower to see his signature dark pants with a few rips here and there, and then you went upwards again to see him in his– Your eyes widened when you just now realized he had his hair down. Your heart seemed to stop as you held your breath in because you only saw his hair down in those half-naked pictures he took of himself in front of his bathroom mirror. 
And fuck– fuck–
“For fuck sake Nancy, told you you tightened it too much.” Eddie groaned out and you had to look away, you had to. But you couldn’t. He had you in a trance as Nancy rolled her eyes at him.
“Not my fault your hair is frizzy and untamed today!” You tried to control your own breathing a bit. He definitely caught you off guard with this one. You fucking swore his hair was tied up downstairs when you saw him on the intercom screen. 
You snapped out of it by Steve yelling at Robin to stop. You sighed in relief as your eyes finally left his figure, landing on the kitchen’s open door, and seeing Steve taking the bottle out of Robin’s claws. You smiled knowing that she must have poured too much vodka on her drink, never knowing how to measure correctly.
“Oh the rest is here, Nance you’re gettin' lucky tonight!” Argyle yelled, not realizing just how loud his voice was. You snorted and looked away for Nancy to not see you laughing, covering your mouth with your free hand.
Eddie chuckled seeing Nancy’s reaction, her face beet red, but your snort made his gaze turn towards you and– God fucking damnit. You’re not playing fair. You really aren’t. He felt the sharp intake of breath that entered his lungs as he scanned your body, slowly, taking every inch of you and your outfit.
He knew it was going to be a hard night for him if he was going to hold back, but he never thought he was gonna go to war. 
His hungry eyes scanned your figure, your neck, your shoulders, down your body, taking in every fucking detail he could. Your breasts, your hips, your thighs, your inner thighs… He was desperate to taste you, to try you, to have you. 
“Don’t laugh!” Nancy’s yell made him snap his head back to his best friend as she continued talking, “Eddie needs a ponytail.”
The man mentioned only rolled his eyes, landing on yours again. You were already looking at him, and he noticed the little gleam behind them thanks to your whole facial expression, your body language.
The way he noticed how your breath picked up, your chest moving a little more elaborate than a normal pace, or how your eyebrows were sort of tense. Your eyes were open, yet he noticed how your top lids were slightly dropped. Your hands were gripping the beer can, tightly, and your legs were crossed while standing. 
He could almost smell you from across the room.
“Here Nance, take these to the kitchen while Peach gets something to tame all this.” Eddie motioned to his hair and Argyle only laughed as Nance grabbed the six-pack from Eddie’s hand and walked into the kitchen.
“Can’t give you any tips my dude, my hair ain’t the same form as yours.” Argyle says before following behind Nancy. Your eyes followed them and then went back to Eddie who was already looking at you with a smirk on his lips.
“Can you tame it?” 
And that question shouldn’t have made your entire insides turn. It shouldn’t mean anything but him talking about his hair, but you know it has a second meaning. You know it. He knows you know it and that’s why he does it. 
So you always play along. Because you know it affects him as much as it affects you.
“I bet I can.” Your voice was low, eyes staying on his as you talked. His head tilted slightly in amusement, the tip of his fingertips itching to reach towards you, show you exactly just how untameable he was. 
“Would like to see you try Peach.” And he took a few steps towards you, slow, boots hitting against the wooden floor, loud steps that matched the volume of your own heartbeat. He reached out and grabbed the can out of your hands and took a swig out of it. He then put it back in front of you, waiting for you to take it as his eyes held a challenging gleam, as if this was another test.
You knew he was playing cat and mouse with you, but you didn’t know who was who. Were you the mouse? Were you the cat?... No, you weren’t mousy anymore. You two were the hunters, but neither dared to pull the trigger to get the prey.
But you weren’t going to let this fucker get away with doing these kind of things so he would make you drool over him, to make you look desperate for him. Your body though… your body wants to see him squirm.
You grabbed onto the can and slowly brought it up to your lips, your eyes focused on the lid as you looked at the small drop of beer that was there, where his lips were just mere seconds ago. Your tongue darted out, and you looked back up at him before licking the lid clean from the beer.
His smirk dropped, his cockiness gone, as all that’s left was fire. A fire that was spreading rapidly and you were holding onto the large folding fan, intentionally waving it with a smile on your face. You fucking–
“Alright, I’ll find something in my room.” You talked and took a full on sip of your beer before turning around and walking towards your room. Eddie’s eyes immediately fell on your ass, as you swayed it side to side and he only scoffed at the situation, at himself. 
The idea of not having you so easily is what made you more tempting, and it made him even more desperate to get you. He wonders if one fuck would cut it. If one fuck is all he needs for his curiosity to be over with you. If one fuck is enough to satiate this need to completely destroy you, ruin you, and make you lose your goddamn mind.
He doubts it.
He follows you across the living room and then goes into your bedroom. He takes a look around and now, enclosed in a space with you, in a space that is only yours made your perfume, your scent, grow tenfold. It almost makes him dizzy and fold over from how sweet, yet inviting it was. He wanted to press his nose in the crook of your neck and breathe you in, let you engrave yourself in one of his senses. 
“Tidy.” Is the only thing that comes out of his mouth as you walk towards your vanity to open one of your drawers. You felt your heart beating in your chest as your eyes drifted to the mirror to look at your queen-sized bed and your imagination started being evil with you and your body.
Flashes of him pinning you against your bed came in a rush, like a camera shutter, picture through picture. The positions change in every single one. You gulped as you felt your center throb in need, so you straightened up and clenched your legs together, looking back down into the drawer.
If you had looked at him for just one second there, you would have noticed how he was now looking at you. His eyes ablaze, breathing growing elaborate as his nostrils flared… 
“Well, of course, I had guests coming.” You finally grab a simple black hairband and close your drawer to then turn to him, ready to hand it over. “Here you go.”
A boyish smile broke on his lips as he walked over to the vanity’s chair to pull it out and sit on it, facing the mirror.
“You said you could tame it. Prove it.” You were stunned as you looked at him on the mirror. He wants you to do his hair? You cleared your throat as you got behind him and he straightened up as his eyes followed you, as if they had daggers in them just piercing you through.
“I don’t want to hear pain complaints, Munson.” He only chuckles at you, his smile making the butterflies in your stomach multiply for a split second.
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” And you didn’t catch the ulterior meaning of that. Your hands went towards his hair, touching it for the first time. You started brushing it a little bit with your fingers, your nails scratching his scalp a few times, sending shivers through his whole body as you kept going.
“I’m not gonna use a brush, it will just make the frizz worse Eds.” You take the time to comment as you feel the static on his hair. He sighs, nodding at your response.
“I know. I couldn’t find my comb today, so Nance brushed it out.” You groaned at the response, your eyes furrowed in a confused frown.
“Nance has curls, she should know that you don’t brush them.” He lets out a snort at your response, and you are glad that even if you feel that attraction towards him, there’s no awkwardness between the two of you. It calms you down, knowing that if nothing happens, because nothing will, your friendship will still be there.
“Right? And then she blamed me for breaking her hairband!” He complained, making you giggle as you examined his hair. Your tongue stuck out in thought as you grabbed hair from his sides and you pulled them back to hold them together. You looked at him through the mirror and you held your breath as he tilted his head to the side, examining the new look.
You didn’t think a half ponytail would make a difference on his face but– fuck it fits him. You’ve never seen him with one before, and now you hate yourself for being the one who discovered this new look. The butterflies returned, and you shifted on your legs as your core throbbed once. 
“Um… do you like it?” You asked, trying not to sound strained as if you weren’t about to choke on your own drool. “I think that a bun is going to be untameable in a room full of sweat.”
He only chuckles at your thoughts and doesn’t miss the way you gulp or shift in your place as you look at him. Do you really think he doesn’t notice? Do you really believe that he is not looking at your every move?
“It’s different but– Can’t say I dislike it. It’ll do for tonight.” You nod and let go of the hair. You are now more precise in the amount of hair you are grabbing, combing it with your fingers before pulling it back. You want to mess with him as you see him close his eyes, enjoying the moment. You bite your lip, smirking, and you pull hard on his hair, making his head reel back.
“Oops– sorry–” But your voice is cut off as a groan, a growl to be precise vibrates in his throat, his adam’s apple going up and down, and you hear him take a sharp breath through his nose. His jaw clenches as his eyes open and– 
“I dare you to do that again, Peach.” 
Your whole body burns. The way he was looking at you is just– it was strong, threatening but not in a bad way. Not in a murderous way. It was something else… something that gave you the feeling that if you followed through and pulled his hair back again, the thin line that was separating ‘Friendship’ and ‘something else’ was going to break.
You want to pull it back. You want to. You want to see what he would do if you played the brat. You want to know what he would say. You want to test it, to try it, to taste it. Taste him. 
But you let go just a bit as you nod, taking a deep breath in and looking back down at the hair, trying to not let him see how flustered you got, how nervous you feel.
“Sensitive.” Is what you managed to reply with, trying to keep the act that it was just a playful act and that it didn’t faze you. Trying to keep the act that you are not fucking horny for the man that is sitting in your room. Trying to keep the act that you do not want him to push you onto the bed and take you like a fucking animal.
Eddie’s body is a furnace. He wonders how much he can push you to the edge until you absolutely break. Until you are begging for him, until you grab him by the shirt to kiss him senseless, for him to experience a true kiss with you. What the fuck did you do to him? He has to pull himself together. Even if he is willing to take the chance and make a move, it doesn’t mean you are willing to take that same risk.
He understands you and respects you above all. If it happens, it happens, but it would never be without your consent. But he is not reading the signs wrong. He is reading them correctly and very attentively. 
Right now you could have followed his lead, but you didn’t, so he will back off… for now.
“No, it took me a while to grow all this amazing hair. I won’t let you yank it and destroy it.” His tone became playful once more as you tied the bun behind his head. He smiled again towards you and you returned it, a little forced. He wants to smirk knowing that he made you a little nervous, not in an uncomfortable way.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” Your hands finally leave his hair and he looks into the mirror and turns his face a couple of times, a raised eyebrow in exaggeration that makes you roll your eyes. 
“Acceptable.” You scoffed at his simple response and he chuckled, getting up from the chair and towering over you once again. He turned to look at you, his eyes finding yours as your bodies stood a little too close to one another. You didn’t know if you were breathing correctly or not at this point. “Thanks Peach.”
“N-No problem.” Fuck, you stuttered. “Anyways, let’s go back with the others before they think we killed each other.”
“I mean, we could have also fucked, but yeah, we should go before they drink everything.” And just like that, as if he hadn’t said the most shocking thing, he walked out of your room, leaving you completely frozen. You were staring at the door, mouth slightly open, eyes completely still in position as your blood began circulating again.
Your body was on fire, your mind a mess, mixing with his scent and with his words, making matters worse for you. You felt your heart beating in your chest as little butterflies flew all about. 
You have to keep your head centered, your mind needs to recollect itself because you cannot show this in front of your friends. And that made you look at yourself in the mirror, face relaxing a bit as your shoulders slump down a bit. Friends. Yeah. You need to keep yourself under control, you are not an animal. You can fight this urge, you had before in your life with other people, you surely can now.
He is a friend. This crush, this attraction, will pass if not indulged.
You managed to take a deep breath before walking out of your room, grabbing your beer from the vanity, and seeing your friends having moved their endeavors from the kitchen into your living room. Your eyes fall on Eddie immediately as he sits down on your couch next to Steve, beer in hand and listening to his best friend.
“Now that’s a new hairstyle.” You heard the freckled man comment as you walked towards the chairs they grabbed from your dining table, putting them around the coffee table where all the drinks and snacks were placed. You sat down next to Robin who was preparing Nancy her drink, making you wince at the amount of rum she was pouring in.
“Robs, maybe let others manage the drinks?” You commented, making your friend glare at you, putting the bottle down.
“Why? You got something to say about my bartending abilities?” And Nancy only winced next to her, taking the glass Robin was preparing and pouring half of the rum into an empty cup. Robin’s mouth fell agape as she looked at her girlfriend.
“You do make them pretty strong baby.” You noticed Robin’s blush and you held in a smile as you looked to your front, seeing Eddie looking at the same thing, his eyes clashing with yours with a smile on his face.
You were both happy your two friends finally made it official, but it was still pretty funny to see Robin blush after acting tough and dominating in the flirting stance of the relationship. It’s a funny dynamic to watch. Robin huffed and helped Nancy fill the rest of the glasses with coke as you took a sip of your beer.
“So, this bouncer is a regular at Jonny’s?” Eddie asked as he looked at Steve and then back at Jonathan and the latter nodded as he drank a bit of his drink.
“Yeah, he’s gonna let us go in for free, even give us two free drinks and VIP section.” At his words, Steve frowned.
“You sure he isn’t trying to come onto you? Does he know you are taken, my love?” Steve’s voice was syrupy, making you giggle into the can as you looked back and forth, but you had to be honest and say that… it did sound compromising on the other guy’s part. 
“Pretty sure, he is married, has two gorgeous kids even.” Jonathan smiled but the mention of kids only made your stomach curl slightly. You looked down at your can, not noticing the pair of brown eyes staring at you, gaze softening as he watched your body language. 
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to suck your cock Jonathan.” Eddie says and that made you spit your drink into your can, followed by your laughter, making him smile while looking at you. “You know I’m fucking right!” and you could only nod at that.
“Y-Yeah! It– It doesn’t mean anything Jonathan, oh my god…” You coughed as you tried to stop your laughter, the comment catching you completely off guard. The rest of the group was laughing except for the couple that was just frowning, one in confusion and the other in anger.
“I– I swear it’s not, it’s just– He is a regular with his other friends…” You knew Jonathan was putting the puzzle together in his head while Steve only groaned exasperated, shaking his head at his boyfriend.
“We’re not going.” His voice was low as he took a sip of his beer and everyone, including yourself gasped and started complaining at him. Argyle even stood up, pointing a finger at him.
“The other guy already compromised, when he sees Jonathan with someone else, he can’t say ‘no, you cannot go in!’” He stated and you nodded wildly, looking at Steve with pleading eyes.
“If he does, his intentions would be obvious! He just won’t invite Jonathan again!” Eddie nodded at your statement and looked back at his best friend. There was a hidden intent in his mind to try to convince his friend. 
He wanted to watch you dance in that outfit.
“Yeah man, he already told Jonathan he would let him through.” And Steve only groaned in defeat, rolling his head exasperated. 
“Fine. But I will punch his face in if he tries anything at all and I hope I don’t see him in the bar either after this.” He takes a sip of his beer while Jonathan rolls his eyes, sitting on the floor next to Argyle once more. Everyone else let out a sigh of relief and the music played in the background. 
And after a few drinks, cans of beer, and a few little games–
“Okay no, I didn’t say that! I said–” You yelled with a slight slur as everyone else tried to hold in their laughter, Eddie chuckling as he shook his head.
“You literally said, HEAR ME OUT, when I sent you a video of Venom… of Venom, Peach!” You were laughing, your eyes slightly red as you sat next to Nancy in the backseat, Eddie sat in the passenger seat, and Argyle was driving, completely sober. Nancy was cracking up as she patted your shoulder a few times.
“You’re fucking right though!” She said to you and you turned to face her and nodded wildly with excitement in your eyes.
“Right!? It’s the tongue!” And you two could hear a groan of disgust from Eddie and Argyle at the front of the car. Eddie was buzzed as well, eyes glossy from laughing the whole drive to the club. He has been going at you from a past conversation you two had with your weirdest crushes. 
He thought his were weird… he was wrong.
“It’s– He can literally eat you alive in two bites!” Eddie yelled as he ran his hands over his face trying to stop laughing and Argyle only nodded his head, looking at Eddie for a second.
“Hot.” And Argyle’s response made the three intoxicated people in the car start laughing once more. When Eddie and you are together with your friends, the flirty bantering drops completely, and it’s moments like these that fill you with joy. It’s just when the two of you are alone that somehow the flirty remarks escape your mouth.
You don’t want those moments with your friends to be filled with awkwardness, or nervousness if something were to happen between Eddie and you. You might lose that forever, and not to mention losing Eddie as a friend. You doubt that friendships remain the same after having sex with each other. 
But the beer in your system tonight… it’s being your worst enemy at the moment.
After parking and getting together with the others, you all walked the block towards the club. You could hear the music thumping already, making your excitement grow as you all went forward to the VIP line that was forming outside. Eddie stood behind you as Jonathan stood in front of you all. 
His hand rested on your lower back as he guided you in front of him through the line so people wouldn’t bump into you, and you couldn’t even feel the chill of the night because of it. Not even after everyone got inside after Jonathan proved that the guy, the bouncer, was actually being friendly with him. The club felt humid, hot, and you still felt the lingering touch of Eddie’s fingers on the small part where your skin showed between your top and pants.
Your mind needed a distraction from it all, but when you turned and saw how the lights of the club hit his face just right, you felt your stomach do a complete turn, twisting into itself. He was smiling as Steve laughed about something to him while you all walked towards the bar. You had to get yourself together, this cannot happen, not at all. Your urges can be satisfied with someone else, or by yourself. 
But you weren’t the only one who couldn’t look away. Eddie noticed it. All the time. He knew that his mind, even if hazy, wasn't playing any tricks on him. He looked at how you leaned over the bar, giggling with Robin next to you and pointing to the card to see what you would order. His eyes scanned all over your body, slow, and uncontrollably so.
The alcohol is making his desire even worse than before and his rational mind is slipping away slowly, that little thread of doubt of making the next step disappear each second and song that passes. 
His eyes widen with Steve when he sees the bartender hand you a bucket full of ice with champagne and redbulls inside while Robin grabs various glasses. You turn with a smile on your face as you walk over to them again, Eddie crossing his arms as he scans you.
“Well, you gonna share?” He manages to speak loudly over the music as you smile up at him and shake your head.
“Not with you Munson!” You giggled at him as Nancy guided you all to an empty small table for you to put the bucket on. He laughed as Steve rolled his eyes, huffing again for not being able to drink at all as they walked to the table.
“Robin! Get your hands off the champagne bottle!” Eddie yelled as he snatched the bottle from Robin’s hands, causing the blonde to pout at him.
“Fuck off Eddie!” Suddenly, the table rattles as someone deposits another bucket filled with ice and beers. Steves turns his head to see Jonathan smiling widely.
“Invitation from the bouncer. His wife is the cashier of the bar!” Steve only rolled his eyes while everyone cheered for the free drinks. Eddie popped off the champagne easily as you jumped in excitement next to him. He chuckled as he began pouring the drink halfway into the glasses. You helped by pouring the redbulls in, filling them all up to the brim. Everyone except for Argyle and Steve grabbed glasses and clinked them together before starting to drink.
The buzz was good, minds becoming even more blurry and hazy than before, yet keeping the consciousness intact, except for Robin because she always poured too much alcohol in her glasses at the pregames. Steve was trying really hard to take Robin’s drinks away but she only avoided him, grabbing Nancy’s hand and yours with the other. You giggled as you tried to keep your drink steady in your hand as Robin pulled you both into the dancefloor. 
You laughed when Nancy and Robin sandwiched you in between them as they grind against your body, listening to SZA playing in the speakers, the lights blinding you slightly, making you a bit dizzy in a fun way. You took a sip of your glass as your hips moved from side to side, slowly, unaware of the brown eyes that looked at your every move from across the dancefloor.
Eddie chugged his champagne down, his eyes moving away from your body to try to think of something else, for someone to catch his eye and to occupy his mind but nothing worked. The spin in his head only made him turn his head towards you again. Jonathan was chuckling, pecking Steve on the mouth many times, trying to make his boyfriend laugh, and it seemed it worked. 
Eddie’s drunken mind couldn’t help but wander to more dangerous territory, a place where you are still not there, and Eddie is thankful for that. When he sees Nancy or Steve, he wonders if there is someone out there for him. He wonders if he even has a chance. He wonders if there is someone out there that won’t let him be alone for the rest of his life like he always thought he was going to end up as. 
But even his intoxicated mind sometimes connects dots, and he is stricken by the realization that… if he makes a move on you, what is going to happen later? What if it escalates into things he is not used to? What if he curses you with who he is? With what he is? Would you even want him if you knew half of what he was and is going through?
That only prompts him to grab another can of beer from Jonathan’s bucket. He opens it and starts chugging it, only to feel a presence by his side. When he looks down, his eyes clash with yours. You are smiling, and by how your eyes are half lidded, he knows you are drunk, just like he is. 
And fuck you look hot like this.
“Give me one?” You asked, innocently, your hips swaying slightly to the rhythm of the music still, and his eyes darted downwards to them before looking away and getting a can out of the bucket. He was about to hand it over to you, your hand reaching out to grab it, only for him to rip it away again, making you pout. “Hey!”
“Magic word?” He grinned at you, wiggling the can in his hand. Your friends were oblivious to you two, already used to the antics of bothering one another. Nancy and Robin were making out on the dancefloor, Jonathan was pulling Steve towards it while Argyle seemed to spot someone and disappear into the crowd. 
You stared at his hand and then back at him. The buzz made you bold, your worries slipping, your thoughts disappearing, making the impulsiveness take over. You wanted to mess with him. You wanted to tease him. You wanted to be mean, desired, try to make that thread that separates friendship to something else waver a bit. 
You took a step forward, your body sticking to his, and your eyes never left his in every movement. His eyes didn’t widen, but his breathing became elaborate as you raised yourself on your tippy toes in order to get closer to his face. You could smell the beer from his breath, the wooden cologne, the sweat, and it made your insides turn and melt in need. 
His eyes went back and forth between your eyes and lips, not knowing where to stay. He felt his belly burn and ache, twist as your perfume invaded his space, your body heat invaded his own, and all worries started to vanish again. All thoughts, all rationality were rendered stupid as he looked at your lips. 
“Please…?” It was soft, a whimper, a moan almost. Eddie’s brain short-circuited, not noticing his arm lowered as his eyes looked into yours. You were so close, and all he needed to do was wrap his arm around your frame and lean down, take your lips into his, kiss you stupid, senseless, make you yearn for more.
You were trying to keep a cool exterior, but inside you were in flames. Would it be so bad to have a taste? Would it really cause all the chaos your sober mind conjured up? Would it be so bad to kiss his lips again? To tangle your tongue with his? Take him properly? 
He tilted his head slightly at you, the music, the people, all just became muffled background noise. He could feel your chest moving up and down, your breathing turning quick. He didn’t even smirk, not a grin, as he lowered his head towards you, his voice lowering a few tones, but loud enough for you to hear him. His lips were almost brushing on yours as he spoke.
“Please what, Peach?” 
You felt your knees becoming weak, wobbling slightly at the closeness. Your heart was in your throat, beating intensely, making your breathing elaborate. His eyes were stuck on yours, waiting for your next move, for your next retort, to know if you would continue or if you would back out. 
And you don’t want him to win. Not this. Not like your Mario Kart plays. He cannot win this. You won’t be the one to break. You placed your hand on his hip, giving it a soft press and you saw how he closed his eyes and you don’t know if it was the alcohol, or the vibrations of the bass in the club, but you felt tingling on your fingertips and what sounded like a groan vibrate in his throat before he opened his eyes again.
“Please Eddie…” His stomach turned at your whimper, at your pout, at the needy look in your eyes. You both don’t know what you were asking for any more. Your eyes were going back and forth between his and then his lips. He could feel his hip burning where you were grabbing him, his heart racing in need as his head moved forward, a magnet. He was going in and you noticed.
But it was short-lived, as you snatched the can out of his grip thanks to him being distracted and you took a step back and away from his lips. His eyes were wide, looking at you as you opened the can, moving your hips happily from side to side to the rhythm of the music, not looking at him at all. 
You took a sip, and even if you wanted to look at his reaction, you turned and walked back into the dancefloor. Your nerves were all over the place, your mind twirling like a carousel because of the adrenaline, the alcohol, and the worry that the sober you will deal with the next day. And Eddie watched you walk away, his eyes burning and he did a quick turn to grab a can himself and chug it down.
He was angry. Oh so fucking angry.
He didn’t want anybody right now. He felt like a predator and he had to calm down. He had to drink alcohol for his mind to shut off, afraid of how he could act here, in front of all of your friends. He could care two shits for the strangers, he would fuck you in the middle of the dancefloor to show you who’s in fucking charge here.
Eddie didn’t like that thought. He cracked his neck and chugged the rest of the can down, hoping the alcohol would take effect soon. He spent the night talking to Argyle once he came back, who was not the dancing type, just like Eddie was. He had seen a few of his past hook ups walking by, batting their eyes at him, but he didn’t want anything to do with them. His arousal plummeted at the thought of sleeping with them.
After an hour, Argyle said he would be back only to leave Eddie alone again, but not for long. Someone patted his shoulder and he turned around to see Steve holding Robin up with Nancy on her other side while Jonathan held all their coats.
“Robin is already blabbering nonsense.” Steve stated and Robin giggled, wobbling in her place as she shook her head.
“You– are nonsense, dingus~” She slurred and Eddie couldn’t help but laugh and nod, looking down at Nancy.
“I am assuming you are going with them?” He asks, noticing his tongue is a little slurred too, his anger slowly lifting up as his friends offer distraction.
“Yeah– Can’t leave her alone you know?” He nodded at that and patted Steve on the shoulder and leaned forward to whisper into his ear.
“Go to Jonathan’s. Just in case.” At that Steve sighed and nodded, making Eddie chuckle.
“I’m not stupid, of course I’ll go to Jonathan’s…” He looked back at Robin who suddenly made a gagging motion and he immediately spurred into action, straightening her up. “Alright birdie, time to go before you make a mess of yourself publicly.”
Jonathan wobbled towards Eddie and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then a pat before walking out of the club first. Steve guided Robin out and Nancy gave him a hug and Eddie knew she was also drunk, hugging her back.
“Alright Nance, go take care of your girlfriend.” At his words, Nancy only giggled in delight as she pulled away and bounced a bit in her place.
“Girlfriend, she is my girlfriend, yes, I gotta go take care of my girlfriend!” With that, she rushes away from him, leaving him alone at the table where you all gathered your drinks. He looks around, the people dancing and walking around and he realizes it’s just you, him and Argyle… who he hasn’t seen in a while. 
So he ventures forth. He leaves the table behind as he walks through the crowd of people, rounding the dance floor, and in just two minutes he spots Argyle with a chick. Eddie wanted to holler at his friend, but by the way she was dressed and from pictures Argyle showed him… this was the girl he had been seeing lately. His perfect date and match as he called her.
He took a step forward and he felt his mind spin slightly and now he is feeling that last beer he chugged. He felt light, with a good buzz, his limbs relaxed as he looked into the dancefloor, and his eyes immediately found you.
You were dancing alone, a little bit of sweat on your forehead, moving your head from side to side to The Weeknd playing through the speakers. His feet moved automatically towards you, unable to control himself. His anger from before was coming back up again, but it wasn’t in full force. 
You were oblivious to your surroundings, not noticing you were dancing alone at all. The beer you stole from Eddie was still in your hand as you took sips, your hips going from side to side. You wanted the distraction, because your mind was becoming less rational, less conscious of your decisions, impulsiveness taking hold of your body movements the more you drank from that can of beer. 
Some people call it liquid courage, but for you tonight, it was liquid demise. Much more when a strong hand pressed on your shoulder, making your eyes open and turn around, trying not to tumble in your place. Deep brown eyes with red all around were looking down at you with an eyebrow raised in question. 
His forehead was a bit sweaty, so his fringe was sticking to it. His hair was a tad greasy, making it look kind of wet, which only added more to the look. Your stomach only turned even more at the sight, and he leaned forward, his breath hitting your ear which made your center only pulse for him, asking for him.
“Everyone else left Peach. Argyle is with Eden in a corner here.” He whispered to you and you nodded a bit, but words were stuck in your throat from how low his voice sounded, of how close he was. His breath sent shivers down your spine as it hit your ear, squirming at his mere presence. You licked your lips as you took a sip of the beer and he pulled away.
“What happened?” You slurred and Eddie only laughed at your tone making you pout. He noticed the pout and he bit his bottom lip in order to not succumb to the alcohol’s impulsiveness.
“Robin was about to pass out. Nance went with her.” And it dawned on you that you two were alone… the only friend in the club was occupied, distracted, eyes averted from the two of you. 
“How come you are not drunk?” You yelled through the music with your pout intact and he rolled his eyes, which was a bad idea because his head only whirled around and he only laughed, making you tilt your head confused but still smiling at his display.
“Oh, no, I’m drunk– Trust me, that last beer is starting to hit.” And you noticed the slight slur in his words, making you bite your bottom lip as you saw him smile, his canines showing in the middle of the purple lights of the club. 
The song ‘Pray for me’ started playing and you threw your head back in delight as your hips started swaying seductively, taking a sip of your beer. Eddie’s smile slowly dropped as his eyes scanned the expanse of your exposed neck, the sheer sweat and glitter on your skin as he throbbed inside his pants for you.
You opened your eyes again, a smile on your face as you let the impulsiveness of irrational actions take over. You grabbed his hand, ignoring the shock that was sent to your fingertips, smiling innocently at him.
“Dance Munson!” You yell through the music as you turn around in order to give your back to him. He sucked in a sharp breath as you moved in front of him. His eyes roamed your body as it moved from side to side and his hands itched for more. You were still holding his right hand and his throat bobbed as he felt shockwaves through his body thanks to your touch.
You knew what you were doing, but you couldn’t care anymore. Your rational mind was gone, even if conscious and knowing what you were doing, you cared two shits for the consequences of your actions. Will you regret it the next day? Probably, but right now you just want to bask in this attention, in this need. 
You took a sip of your beer as you moved lower, your ass almost touching him as you swayed it, and then straightened up again. Your breath catches in your throat when the hand you were holding lets go and starts gliding over your arm, slowly, and then goes downwards to grab onto your hip. 
A strangled moan escapes your lips when his body is suddenly pressed against yours. His chest on your back, and his hips against yours. His other hand went to your hip but moved a bit more to your front, pressing the side of your belly with the tips of his fingers. That simple action made your pussy clench onto nothing. 
You feel his hips moving slowly against yours and you press your ass onto him even more. You have danced close to Steve and Jonathan before, even Robin, but with him it was different. This wasn’t just a friendly dance. This is so much more. Every touch means so much more than just that. Every movement was intentional now, the alcohol controlling the both of you as the music guided your hips.
His face came close to your ear, his breath hitting your skin again, and your heart jumped to your throat as his fingers dug into your hips, your flesh, and it was making those areas burn. Your hips moved very slowly, never stopping as he talked lowly to you, tickling you.
“What do you think you are doing Peach?” You licked your lips as a sigh escaped them afterwards. In all honesty, you didn’t know, your mind is not ready to think of an answer to that right now. What were you doing? What was your plan? What’s going to happen?
That’s something you can worry about tomorrow.
You slowly turned around in his arms, looking up at him, squinting your eyes. His face was close, his breath and scent driving your senses to an overdrive. Your eyes were half-lidded thanks to the intoxication in your body, and his face was showing hints of redness as well. His right hand rested on your hip still while the left one moved upwards, getting hold of your waist.
“I’m just dancing… with a friend.” He wanted to laugh at your response. You were such a fucking bitch. You still dared to call him a friend after your words, after your ass pressed against his dick. His face became stern as he looked down at you, his fingers giving a warning press onto your hip.
“You are overdoing it tonight, sweetheart.” It was a threat, a line he was drawing between the two of you. You knew you were. You knew you were being a fucking idiot, but you couldn’t help it. Your eyes were fixated on his lips, and you shouldn’t do this while drunk. You shouldn’t but– when else were you going to?
Your arms went upwards and wrapped around his shoulders, the can of beer gripped tight on your left hand as you looked up at him. You pressed your chest against his as the hand on your waist moved towards your back, splaying his palm over the expanse of it to press you into him. 
You two were drunk. Not smashed, but you can both blame it on the intoxication. It’s a good excuse. A perfect one. This is just the alcohol’s doing, just the stupidness of the drinks you took through the night taking effect. It was an opening, a leverage, an opportunity.
And you were going to take it.
“Oh, and you aren’t?” You mumbled as you pressed yourself closer to him, and everything around the two of you ceased. The music became low, suppressed, and reverbed even, as your ears pulsed at each bass drop. His body was broader than yours, his body felt hot against yours as his hands gripped you, his head lowering with a smirk in his face.
“Did I? You sound bothered.” Your lips were almost there, about to touch, even if barely. His breath was mixing with yours. You could smell the beers, and you could feel how hot the air around you two was. His fingertips were driving you insane, and your impulses talked for you. 
Fuck this. 
“Shut up Eddie.” And you connected your lips to his. Your brain short-circuited, completely, it felt as if the oxygen left it, leaving only fog, haziness, bliss. You sighed into his lips as he breathed out a moan, a very low satisfied moan. 
He didn’t hesitate to move his lips against yours this time. This wasn’t going to be a peck. He needed to kiss you correctly, as it should have happened. His grip on you became stronger, his blood pumping rapidly through his body as the alcohol and hormones started to fight his consciousness, what little was left. 
You dropped the can to the floor, not caring where it landed, there wasn’t much left anyway, you needed to grip his hair, get your fingers through his locks the way you have been wanting to do for so long. So you did just that. Your hands ran from the back to his neck towards his scalp, fingers digging where they could, the tightness of his half ponytail already loosened through the course of the night, letting your nails run freely.
Your lips melted perfectly with one another’s, satisfaction in both of your hearts, but you know this won’t fill you. You know this satisfaction is temporary, a small victory, so you will enjoy this for as long as you can. 
He groaned into the kiss when he felt your nails scratch his nape. He felt himself twitch in his pants, wanting friction against you as he let go more each second that passed, which was dangerous. The hand on your hip traveled south, and ended grabbing a handful of your ass cheek, making you moan in surprise. 
He took your moan as an opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth and fuck– fuck he was ruined. He was in trouble. You were so sweet, even with the beer taste still lingering in your mouth, on your tongue, you tasted so sweet. Like a fucking peach. He couldn’t help the possessive moan that escaped him as he gripped your ass tightly once more. 
You felt wetness pooling between your legs, the idea of doing something you really shouldn’t adding to the adrenaline, to the sensuality of the situation, but you couldn’t care less right now. All you could think about was Eddie. Eddie and his taste. Eddie and his tongue. Eddie and how fucking good of a kisser he is. Eddie and his big hands grabbing onto any part of your body that he could right now. Eddie and his tattoos. Eddie and his shirtless pictures. Eddie and the happy trail that always peeks out when he takes them. 
His tongue danced with yours, desperately, sloppily, all saliva and teeth, as if this was something you two have been yearning to do for more than you actually think. And maybe it was indeed that way. You just wanted to keep kissing him, but you also wanted to take him home. You wanted to fuck him. You need to fuck him. 
And Eddie won’t be satisfied with this. He knows it. Even in his drunken mind, he knows he won’t be happy until he has you completely. He fucking hates you for this, but he just decided to not care for the consequences. Sober or not. If he doesn’t have you anytime soon, he is going to explode, that’s how he feels. He needs to consume you. Taste you. Claim you. At least once.
You two don’t know how many minutes you spent it making out, like two horny teenagers, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care at all. Everything else didn’t exist right now. It was just the two of you, and your eyebrows twitched as you opened your eyes through the kiss and–
Oh, you were completely drunk. Opening your eyes was a mistake.
You pulled away, recovering your breath as your head fell backwards, eyes closing as your consciousness started to slowly slip away from you. Eddie’s eyes widened, his protectiveness overlapping his lust and his intoxicated state. He held you tightly, feeling you grow limp with each second that passed. He was breathing heavily as he looked at you, shaking you a bit in order for you to open your eyes.
“Peach? You alright?” His worried voice felt like a distant echo. You just wanted to sleep, your mind feeling as if it were on top of a horse in a carousel. It wouldn’t stop spinning, and you were starting to feel so sick.
“Mmm…” It’s all you managed to voice out as you opened your eyes, just a bit, and Eddie noticed that the last beer hit you harder than it should have, and what you two had done just now probably made it worse. 
“Alright, time to go home, let’s get Argyle.” He held you close, and the only thing you felt was as if you were floating. The lights in the clubs were dizzying, your head swirling and your stomach ache worsening. You couldn’t even think of regret for all the drinks you took. You just want to be at home and make this uncomfortable feeling wash away.
You know you were being carried, moved, and it all felt like a rollercoaster. You don’t even know if you puked or not. All you know is that at one point the flashing lights stopped, the hum of an engine was heard, and then you swayed from side to side as your head laid somewhere. On something strong.
The often pinch on your waist waking you up from falling into slumber. More swaying, more ups and downs, and then your feet were no longer on the ground. There were warm lights, and the sickness sort of dulled through this whole amusement park tour you just did. 
Then, softness. Just softness. You could finally close your eyes, hoping for this feeling to go away. Hoping that tonight would be forgotten, or hoping that whatever happened tonight would be enough. Sleep overtook you quickly, easily, but your dreams decided to still invade you. Sober you will wake up tomorrow… and probably regret it all. 
But… that’s a problem for the you of tomorrow. For now, you’ll just enjoy this dream. One where a certain metalhead touches you all over, his tongue running on every inch of skin, kissing you senseless as he rubs onto you, caressing you. This was the only way it would happen, wouldn’t it?
And you slept soundly, with the scent of cologne all around you. 
The wooden cologne.
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end of chapter 16
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A/N: I DONT' THINK I CAN APOLOGIZE ENOUGH FOR HOW LONG I TOOK IM SO SORRY.
Taglist is closed! I will start deleting people that do not interact with my posts.
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lyfeofbilly · 2 months ago
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Old Thing Back
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warnings: angst, angst, angst!
summary: due to riri's infidelity, the two of you have been divorced for months. what happens when unresolved feelings surface?
author's note: this was saurrrrrrr fun writing, maybe a LIL trifling but fun writing. i been thinking about this for a week before i actually wrote it. now i don't condone cheating or taking cheaters back but ya'll know i love angst! enjoy pretties.
taglist: @koffeesfancy @bubbleblowinggirl @pvnks0ul @solanaszn @onyxstones-world @blacksapphhicmaddonna
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"You gotta be fucking kidding me bro!" frustration ran through you as your car refused to crank for the sixth time this week. You ran a hand down your face before grabbing your phone and pressing on the contact of the last person that you wanted to hear from, Riri. Although the two of you were recently divorced, the woman was a damn good mechanic, and spending an unfathomable amount of money on your vehicle was not appealing.
The phone rang once before she picked up, the sarcasm in her words irritating you further, "Oh so we back on speaking terms now?"
You sighed, God knows how much you'd rather sit naked on a hot grill than talk to her, but being stubborn wasn't going to fix your problems. "Ri I'm not in the mood for this right now, can you come look at my car real quick?"
"Damn I'm only of use if it's about your car, that's fucked up." The woman feigned hurt.
You rolled your eyes at the statement, letting her get all the jokes she had out now knowing you wouldn't be in the mood for banter when she arrived at your house. After a couple more seconds of silence she finally agreed to help you, "I'll be over, just give me fifteen minutes princess."
The line hung went dead and you cringed at the pet name she called you. If Riri had one thing it would be some nerve. As if her infidelity being the reason for the fall of your marriage wasn't enough, she would always find some way to try and weasel back into your good graces. The affair lasted for three months- with some woman who she had serviced before. You beat yourself up for months for not figuring it out sooner, not noticing before, but there were no signs to pick up on. You were still woken up to sweet kisses every morning, taken on dates often, and overall taken care of. She was still the same woman you married all those years ago.
What felt like an eternity your doorbell finally rang. Beyond the door stood Riri, cornrows draped down her back and shoulders while she sported her greased stained t-shirt and jeans that she worked in. A smirk was plastered across her face as she held up her toolbox, "You rang sweet thang?"
"Took you long enough!," you turned to head towards your garage. "What happened to fifteen minutes?"
The shorter woman kissed her teeth as she shut the door behind her and followed you, "Aight, maybe I got a lil' backtracked, no need to yell." As you two walked further into the house she took time to admire how the home you two once shared looked completely different. "Like what you did with the place too, you always had a thing for decoration."
When it came to settling the divorce, Riri agreed to you keeping the house. It was your absolute dream home. A two story, Victorian style house with a wrap around porch, and the biggest backyard. The day you two closed on it was a dream come true. When the affair was revealed to you, you had the nagging thought of them fooling around in the house you shared. No matter the amount of cleaning or reassurance Riri gave you that nothing happened between the walls of your home, you couldn't believe a word she said. Nine months and thousands of dollars later, the entire space was transformed. Carpet swapped for shiny hardwood floors, the wood for the kitchen cabinets and counters were changed, and every room had a fresh new layer of paint.
"I called you to look at my car, not my house."
She shrugged you off and began to do what she did best, immediately popping the hood. You took this time to go back inside and try to dead the strange sensation in your gut. There was no doubt in your mind that being in the same vicinity as Riri made your skin itch, but some part of you still felt safe in her presence. No matter how much you tried to shake it, there was still this longing feeling that lingered inside you.
An hour had passed before Riri strolled back in, covered in even more gunk that she arrived in, "It'll get you going, but c'mon ma, you gonna need a new car sooner than later."
She was right, the old jeep wrangler that you drove was on its last leg but you couldn't bring it in you to buy another one.
"I wish you would stop calling me that." You took time to glance at her attire, "And you dirty as hell, don't touch nothing."
She held her hands up in a defensive pose and chuckled, "Well can i at least shower here? I don't want all this oil on my car seats."
The question hung in your mind for a few minutes. Having Riri in your house wrecked your nerves enough, but deep inside you didn't want her to leave. You knew having her stay longer than her intended stay wouldn't be a smart decision at all. Alas, you allowed your once lifetime partner this one favor.
"Fine, but make it quick."
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You sat at your vanity, finishing up your skincare routine when the door to your connected bathroom opened, revealing a half naked Riri. The big towel you gave her sat on her hips, giving you a clear view of her chiselled v-line. You couldn't lie, the sight was a heavenly one to say the least. Her braids that draped over her shoulders were now tied in a bun, and droplets of water dribbled down the valley of her breasts. The tattoo of your name that was placed just under her left one on display. Seeing it was a shock, after everything was settled you got yours lasered off. Eight sessions later and the tramp stamp that once said 'Rianna' was gone.
"Yes i still have it, you?" Riri's voice snapped you out of your trance.
"That tattoo is the least of my worries." You plainly stated.
A chuckle escaped the woman's lips, "So you still enjoy seeing me naked?"
You turned to face her, "Please don't flatter yourself, but if you must know, I got it removed months ago."
"That's crazy, I never wanted to get rid of mine."
You pursed your lips, "Yea, let me know you fucked another bitch with my name tatted on you, that's exactly what I wanna hear."
The idea of even getting matching tattoos was your idea, the placement however was Riri's. The two of you made the decision after one too many drinks on your honeymoon.
She started to dress in the old sweatpants and tank top that you let her borrow, "Aight I deserved that- that came out wrong."
"You deserve a lot actually."
"Like what?"
"My foot up yo' ass for starters." You snapped.
Throughout the divorce process you did your best to stay calm and graceful even though you had the right to lash out in every way possible. Resentment and anger festered in you for months as you never had a proper outlet for them. Thoughts of bleaching clothes, keying her car, and causing Riri physical harm crossed your mind plenty of times for a number of days. In the end, you could never bring yourself to act on them.
It grew quiet between you two, the tension in the air growing by the second. Riri stood in place, a guilty expression sprawled on her face. From the moment you found out about the wretched affair she tried her best to prove that it was a mistake. Constant calls and texts of her professing her love for you, flowers getting sent to your doorstep, and frequent attempts to try and smooth things over. If you let your heart take control of things, you would have taken her back. Every bone in your body so desperately wanted to pull her into your arms and believe that she meant it, believe that she regretted the choice she made.
"I was wrong, I know that but baby it was a mistake. You know I love y-"
You held your hand up, "Don't tell me that. Just don't." Your fists balled at your sides, the emotions that you never wanted to display in front of her threatening to spill over. "You don't.....you don't get to cheat on me and tell me you love me. Dead that shit right now."
Riri ran a hand down her face, her eyes meeting yours. Deep down she was sorry, and she beat herself up about it every day. "I do though."
Tears began to well up in your eyes. Your skin grew hot with anger and embarrassment. The emotions you were feeling felt like a whirlwind stirring inside of you. "You so full of shit. You dont cheat on people you love Rianna."
And there they were, the salty drops that you tried to hold back finally cascaded down your cheeks. The lump in your throat grew as sobs filled the room. At the moment you didn't care about being vulnerable, or seen as weak.
"We were together for six years! We made vows, bought a fucking house together!" Your voice cracked as more tears fell, "H-how.....how could you do this to me? I fucking hate you!"
Riri stood in silence, the outburst you were having hit her like a truck. Your feelings never went farther than your journal. All the obscenities, yearning for her, and blaming yourself for her infidelity. The guilt she was feeling made her stomach knot up, seeing you just standing in front of her bawling your eyes out made her feel terrible. "I know you do baby, I know you do."
Without skipping a beat, Riri took you into her arms, engulfing you in a warm embrace. It felt so familiar, so warm, as much as you wanted to resist you couldn't do anything more but melt into her arms. Your head rested on her shoulder letting the tears hit her skin. The moment made you feel so nostalgic, and you couldn't muster up the strength to snatch away.
"I hate how I still miss you, how much I feel safe in your stupid arms." You choked out, lifting your gaze to meet hers, "I hate how much I still love you." You never thought you'd see the day that you would ever admit that you still loved Riri. The thought ate at you inside, racked your brain every way to Sunday trying to figure out how and why those feelings were still there.
Riri's thumb swiped across your cheek, wiping away the stray tears that wet your face. Neither one of you were sure of a way to properly respond to your newfound confession. You'd put on this tough facade for so long, resisting any and everything that could put you in a position like this with her again, but here you were.
"We both still love each other, why can't we try again?"
"I wanted.....I wanted to take you back so bad Rianna." You bit your lip hesitantly, "But I knew if you did it once you'd do it again."
Riri took your chin in her hand and brought your face closer to hers, "Well forget allat for a second, what's your heart telling you?"
Your faces got closer and closer, lips centimeters from brushing one anothers. Your body grew hot all over, the pit that formed in your stomach was a sinkhole by now. And as much as you wanted- needed to feel her lips just one more time.
"Ri I can't promise what'll happen if you kiss me." Her lips got even closer before you put a hand to her chest, stopping her. "But what I can promise is that I won't let you hurt me like this again. You need to leave."
The look of hurt and disappointment that flashed across her face did satisfy you a bit, but you knew going through with it would open an entirely new door of confusion and disappointment yet again. Her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth as she nodded, understanding your sentiment. She loosened her grip on you and collected her things before heading towards the door, but not without taking one more glance at you. A desperate glow filled her eyes, almost as if she wanted to tell you one more thing. As the front door shut and the headlights of her car faded off into the distance, you couldn't help but think about what being with her again would feel like.
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preseriesdean · 5 months ago
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preseries dean-centric/pov fic recs
for @spnficrecfest day one: specific era 🧡
Odysseus, American by coyotesuspect sam/dean, 10.1k words, rated M, published 2010 Dean finds Peter O'Toole's recording of the Odyssey in a bin marked “Audio" in Casa Grande's only used bookstore. The place smells like cigarette smoke and old books, and it reminds him of Sam.
Multitude of Sins by Linden sam/dean, 4.4k words, rated T, outsider POV, published 2015 Every now and again, Jim Murphy would look up from his altar and find the Winchester boys at the back of his church.
We Drank a Thousand Times by glorious_spoon dean/omc, 43.2k words, rated M, published 2010 They meet in a bar fight in North Carolina when Dean is nineteen, broke, and desperate, then again when a hunt brings the Winchesters into town a few years later. Neither one of them ever puts a name to it but every once in a while, through the years, Dean finds his way back.
pack up the moon by deathdreamt sam&dean, 5.9k words, rated T, published 2021 Sam storms back out from their room, his backpack on and his duffel hanging off his shoulder and isn’t it kind of tragic that his whole life fits in two bags. He looks suddenly much younger than he is, eyes shining. John is back at his guns, whiskey at his elbow, and Dean can hardly believe how rapidly his life is cracking down the centre.
lost in yesterday by margaryes aka @christsam sam/dean, 1k words, not rated, john POV, published 2023 John hasn’t seen his youngest son in 18 months.
Inseparable by astolat sam/dean, 6.7k words, rated M, published 2008 It was just plain sense, so Dean didn't understand why something about the way Dad said quietly, "It's time you had your own bed," made him feel guilty and confused.
The Palm Oasis by @fictionallemons sam/dean, 12.3k words, rated E, published 2022, sex work John strands Dean and Sam at a middle-of-nowhere motel while he investigates possible demon omens in Arizona. The place is nothing to write home about, but at least it has a pool. Dean resolves to think of this as a vacation for him and his studious little brother, but when their money runs out sooner than expected, he considers turning tricks at a nearby truck stop so he can feed Sam. Then a creepy guy from the pool makes an offer Dean doesn’t want to take but Sam won’t allow him to refuse—and the brothers edge over a line they’ve both been wanting to cross for a long time.
Summer Blackout by nutkin sam/dean, 11.6k words, rated E, published 2012 When Dean is seventeen, they spend five months being normal.
Poughkeepsie by aeli_kindera sam&dean, 9.7k words, rated T, published 2021 “Sammy,” says Dean again, urgency cracking his voice. “We gotta — we really gotta go. I need you to — just — remember Poughkeepsie? Drop everything, no questions asked, and run? This is a — a Poughkeepsie situation. Please, man, I need you.” Sam remembers Poughkeepsie.
To Repair Broken Men by procrastin8or951 sam/dean, 3.1k words, rated T, published 2015 Dad and Sam keep fighting. Dean can't fix his family, so he fixes things around the crappy apartment they are staying in.
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borathae · 4 months ago
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Proud of You
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"Jungkook thinks that whatever mistake he makes defines his entire character and makes him unlovable. Yoongi shows him that mistakes don't mean the end of the world and that they most definitely don't define his worth."
Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Vampire!Jungkook
Genre: Slice of Life, Fluff, Comfort
Warnings: Jungkook accidentally breaks something and is sad about it, Yoongi shows him how to fix it, that's his little one everyone, he's so fond of him, Googie is so grateful for him in return
Wordcount: 1.7k
a/n: Requested by anonie literally two years ago 🥴 I found it buried deep under all the things on my wips list jsjs I can't even find the ask to it anymore but it was basically them wanting a domestic fluff drabble of yoonkook fixing something together to make Kookie see that his hands can do other things than break. I finally wrote it because i miss them and i'm big sad about it 🖤
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The knock on his door is faint; shy in a way. Perhaps even hesitant. 
“Come in”, Yoongi allows whoever is nervous to see him entrance. 
He was playing the electric guitar before that, sitting on the floor against his sofa and only candlelight accompanying him. The guitar sits beside him for now.
Jungkook enters the room, having his head lowered and hands folded in front of his crotch. Yoongi waits for him to speak.
“Hyung, I did something bad”, Jungkook gets out quietly.
“Are you okay? What did you do?” Yoongi asks him in a soft voice.
“I’m sorry but I broke the, the door in the kitchen.”
“The door?”
Jungkook nods his head.
“The actual door?”
“No, a cupboard.”
“Mhm. How did that happen?”
“I, I was uhm, I opened it. I didn’t mean to, I swear!”
“That’s okay, kiddo. Accidents happen. Did you hurt yourself?” Yoongi speaks gently.
Jungkook shakes his head, sniffling.
“That’s good to hear.” Yoongi stands up. “Come on, let’s see what we can do to fix it, yeah?”
He intertwines hands with Jungkook, leading him to the kitchen. Jungkook follows him, barely daring to look at him in fear of seeing his anger. There is no anger on Yoongi’s features, Jungkook merely has the habit of beating himself up for every little mistake he makes. In his eyes, mistakes are awful when he makes them. They are the reason for anger and shame. Yoongi doesn’t share this sentiment, caressing his knuckles soothingly as he walks with him.
“Are you angry at me now?” Jungkook asks quietly.
“Of course not. You didn’t mean to break it.”
“I’m really sorry, hyung.”
“You’re okay, kiddo. Hyung’s not angry.”
They have reached the kitchen. The door Jungkook broke is lying on the floor. It is missing from one of the lower cupboards. 
“Oh this one. Little bugger, I meant to tighten it for ages but was too lazy to do so. It was about to fall off.”
“I swear I only opened it and it already fell.”
“I’m sure you did. Don’t worry, bun. The hinges were old. It would have broken sooner or later.” Yoongi says and squats down to inspect the door. “Let’s see.”
Jungkook kneels next to him, sitting down on his folded feet. He squeezes his hands between his thighs, rocking back and forth in self-soothing.
“Can you fix it?” he asks, gnawing on his lower lip.
“Of course. We’ll see if I have a set of hinges in my workshop. Come on, you’re helping”, Yoongi says, standing back up.
Jungkook scrambles back to his feet to follow Yoongi, “okay, hyung.”
Yoongi glances at Jungkook halfway to the workshop. Jungkook’s features are twisted in guilt and self-anger. Yoongi closes the distance and places his hand on the back of Jungkook’s neck sweetly. 
“Don’t beat yourself up about it, okay?”
Jungkook glances at him, hand coming up to rub his own cheek. Almost as if he wanted to wipe tears away.
“I feel so angry at myself.”
“I know you do, but don’t. Stuff breaks around the house, it’s prone to happen. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I could have opened it softer or, or been more careful.”
“Maybe, but you’ll never know if the outcome would have been different. You gotta focus on the now, kiddo, and in the now, nothing terrible happened. We’ll get new hinges and fix the door, okay?”
Jungkook hesitates with accepting the words. So Yoongi gives him a gentle shake, following it up with a pat to his butt. 
“Okay, kiddo?” 
“Yeah, okay”, Jungkook murmurs and smiles shyly. 
“That’s my boy”, Yoongi praises with a fond sparkle in his eyes, making Jungkook’s smile grow.
For the rest of the way, Jungkook walks next to Yoongi with lightness in his steps and his head held high. 
Yoongi’s workshop is in one of the many outhouses of the estate. The two men have to leave through the main door and then take the gravel path west, the opposite direction of where the horse stables are located. The outhouse is a sandstone cottage with one floor and a small herb garden and an outdoor smithy in the front. A few of the many workers are busy in front of it, greeting Yoongi and Jungkook with a bow of their heads as they pass them. 
Yoongi keeps his workshop very neat and organised. His tools are stored in cupboards and shelves on the walls. There is also a metal sink and many worktops to get crafty on. He kept one corner tidy, filling it with a two-seater and a table for refreshments. In winter when the nights are long, one can often find him cozied up in here with the fireplace lit and the radio playing music. He does all of his woodworking here and sees this house as a space to relax in. 
It doesn’t take him long to find what he is looking for, handing Jungkook the needed tools while he carries the new hinges. 
“It smells so good in here”, Jungkook comments between deep inhales of the woody air. 
“I worked on some wood carvings recently.”
“It smells really good. What are you working on?”
“Just some decorations for Emma’s town shop. She asked me to make cats.” Yoongi says, pointing at one of the worktops. 
Seven cat figures of different sizes are standing on it. Some are already completely finished, while others are still in the process of getting carved. 
“So cute, wow”, Jungkook gushes, petting each of them carefully. 
“Mhm, they’re pretty adorable yeah”, Yoongi agrees, watching his boy handle the figures so gently. He never doubted it, but Jungkook has such tender hands. Even if he thinks that they are only good for destroying. Yoongi knows better.
Jungkook turns to him, smiling shyly.
“They’re really pretty, hyungie.”
“Thanks”, Yoongi says and gestures Jungkook to leave. “I hope Emma will like them.” 
“I’m sure that she will. They’re really so, so pretty.”
“Thanks, kiddo”, Yoongi says, turning off the lights behind them now that they got everything that they needed. 
The two men wander back to the estate, greeting whoever passes them. They don’t chat a lot with each other, but that was alright for both. They are lovers of silence and sharing it together is a way to bond for them. 
The kitchen is how they left it and other than before, Jungkook doesn’t feel sickening guilt at the view of the broken cabinet. He feels hopeful. 
They lay out the tools, both sitting on the floor cross-legged. 
“Did you fix a cupboard before?” Yoongi asks Jungkook. 
“Yes, just not that type of cupboard.”
“Mhm, well it’s probably not that much different than other cupboards. You see this?”
Jungkook inspects where Yoongi points with squinted eyes. 
“The plastic is cracked.”
“Exactly. Old fucking shit finally gave up. That’s what modern hinges do. Back in my days, you would wither away before your hinges gave up.”
Jungkook laughs. 
“I’m serious. The older the earth gets, the younger companies make the life-expectancies of their shit. One day, I’ll rip out this modern dust catcher and build a good, sturdy kitchen. Just how I built it back then. With real wood and real metal hinges and good stone oven.”
Jungkook laughs harder, painting a fond smile onto Yoongi’s face. He scoffs and shakes his head. 
“I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”
“No, I like it when you talk like this”, Jungkook assures him and rests his cheek on his shoulder, “when you do that, can I help?”
“Of course you can, kiddo. I’d be happy to do that with you”, Yoongi promises him with a chaste kiss to the crown of his head. “Now look here. I need your help.”
“What do you need?”
“Hold the door right there and I’ll tighten the screws.”
“Yes, okay.” Jungkook does as he is told, watching Yoongi work. “This was really quick.”
“Mhm. Just had to unscrew the old hinges and put on the new ones”, Yoongi murmurs, fixing the door back into its place. Three more tight twists with the screwdriver and the cupboard is officially as good as new. 
Jungkook gazes at it with sparkling eyes while Yoongi gathers all the tools. He stands up, placing the tools on the kitchen island so he could wash his hands. 
Jungkook stands up, looking at Yoongi. He has his back turned to him, wiping his hands on the towel.
He made his life worthwhile again, Jungkook thinks, he is the reason that Jungkook is able to actually exist again. And he has no fucking idea. He goes day by day thinking that his impact was minimal, when in reality he is the very reason for Jungkook’s perfect life. 
Jungkook closes the distance and takes Yoongi into his arms. The smaller man freezes up, dropping the towel in surprise. Jungkook has both arms around him, chest melted against his back and face buried in the crook of his neck. 
“Thank you.”
“For what?” 
“For coming into my life.”
Yoongi lowers his head, feeling flustered. His embarrassment about the highly emotional moment is instant. He begins wiggling to pretend that he doesn’t want to be hugged.
“Yeah, yeah whatever. Let go of me, you brat.”
But Jungkook doesn’t let him go today. He hugs him tighter until Yoongi has to give up with an involuntary whimper which Jungkook squeezes out of him. 
“Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.” he chants, kissing his neck and shoulder over and over again.
Yoongi hums, patting his lower arm. 
“You are so important. You are so loved. Oh so loved, hyungie. And, and you make my life possible.”
“The one who’s making it possible is you, kiddo. You’ve come so far.”
“I only came that far because of you.”
They share a moment of deep, comfortable silence. It is filled with emotions. Yoongi takes a deep breath and turns in Jungkook’s arms, cradling his face in both hands. 
Jungkook meets his fond eyes. His features are so soft and adoring. 
“Hyung is….” He shakes his head and smiles, “I’m proud of you, Jungkookie-ah.”
Jungkook exhales in emotion.
Yoongi pulls his head down and kisses his forehead.
Jungkook whimpers, closing his eyes. He never kissed him there before.
“I’m so proud of you, my little one. And…and you’re loved too.”
“Hyungie”, Jungkook breathes, falling around Yoongi’s neck to hug him tightly. 
Yoongi hugs him back, ruffling his hair. He is so very fond of his boy. Quite frankly, he would steal the stars for him if he asked him to. They may not have had many happy endings in their past, but at least in this life they will. Together. Because being together is the best which could have happened to them.
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suivyfx · 2 years ago
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So you heard everything?
Mirage x f!reader
you were a bit of a mechanic, and whenever noah’s car got wrecked you’d usually help him fix it up, until you find out it’s an..Alien car thing??
includes ✧ fluff, slight x Noah
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“Jeez, Noah. This car is a beauty for sure but maybe you shouldn’t get such an old car.” You rolled out from under the car with a wrench in your hand. “Haha..maybe I should do my research next time.”
You and Noah had known each other for around two years and were pretty close friends. He had recently bought a Porsche, silver with blue stripes down the middle. Of course you were happy for him, he even took you on joyrides! It’s just that you hadn’t expected him to be able to..afford it? Not saying that’s he’s poor but Porsches are mad expensive, you chose to mind your business though.
After you finish up, your phone starts to ring. “Sorry Noah, gotta take this.” Once you exit the garage, his gaze immediately fixates on the car. “Cmon! Can’t we just tell her already? You torture me every time I have to stay quiet during our joyrides!” Mirage whined. “I just don’t wanna scare her, Mirage. I mean your a giant machine!” Hearing this, Mirage gasped. “Giant Machine?! We’ve been through thick and thin and that’s what you call me? Besides, didn’t you try to beat me with a pipe when you first met me? Sure she’ll be freaked but someones there to reassure her this time, cough cough, you.” Even though they were currently communicating through the radio, you could still hear the sass in Mirages voice.
Noah thought about it, and he couldn’t deny that Mirage was right. Besides you would find out sooner or later anyway. “Fine, let’s wait for her to get back.” Hearing this, Mirage cheered. “Woohoo! I can’t wait!”
.
.
“I’m back, sorry that took a while.” You smiled as you came back in the garage. Noah looked a little timid so you asked him if he was alright. “Yeah, yeah I am. I just uh- need to show you something. Please don’t freak out too much..” Hearing him say this made you nervous. Noah barely acted like this, so he might be very serious. And ‘please don’t freak out?’ What the hell was this man about to show you?
As you were looking at Noah, you began to hear shifting noises from the Porsche. Once you looked over, you saw a machine guy. Wait wtf? “What the fuck..” Eyes widened, jaw almost on the floor..what were you looking at right now? You subconsciously began to back up. “Listen I know he looks like a bad guy but trust me, he means no harm!” “Bad guy?! What’s up what all these names you’ve been calling me man? Not cool dude, not cool.”
The both of them looked at you, who was still visibly shaken. In attempt to befriend you, Mirage walked up to you and kneeled to your level. “The names Mirage, I already know who you are.” He smiled. You were pretty scared at first, but after seeing his friendly attitude you loosened up a little. “Okay..yeah, I’m Y/n.” Mirage grinned and patted your head as he stood.
“See? That went great! You were worried about nothin’!” Mirage looked at Noah who had a relieved look on his face. “Wait a minute, if you’re the car does that mean..you heard, everything I said?” You asked, praying the answer was no. “Yup!” fuck. “Humans have the most interesting stories.” You glare at Noah, him just smiling looking in the other direction knowingly.
Before you could scold Noah, you begin to hear that same shifting noising. You look in amazement finally being able to see Mirages transformation. “Now that I can talk, what’d you say we go on a joyride? The three of us? You can sing your heart out just like you always do.” Noah walks up to passenger side and opens the door for you, gesturing you to get in. “M’lady?” He teased, knowing you were embarrassed. “I’m so gonna kill you for this, Noah.”
.
.
“I think I’m gonna vomit..what part of that was a ‘joyride’ to you?!” You say, wobbling out of the car. “You’re gonna have to get used to it, trust me.” Noah said, glaring at Mirage. “What can I say? I gotta go fast! Haha, get it? Cause it’s what Sonic says?” Mirage joked, resulting in no laughter “Anyways im going to get some food, want me to bring you back some, Y/n?” Noah asked heading towards the door. “Ah, sure.”
Once Noah left it was just you and Mirage. “Well well well, just the two of us sweetheart! Y’know I don’t think we got to properly get to know each other, so why don’t we talk a bit about ourselves, yeah?” Blushing a bit at the name, you agreed. “Sure, why not?”
.
.
About an hour past and you realize how much you enjoy talking to Mirage. He’s so enticing, nothing like the last men you’ve been with, literally. “You listenin?” Mirage asked, noticing your daze. “Oh, uhm, yes sorry, what did you say?” After a few seconds of silence, Mirage chuckled. “Ohh, I get it. You were so mesmerized by my dashing looks, huh? I knew you’d fall for me.” Your eyes widened, face heated. “What?! D-don’t get cocky..”
Mirage moved closer to you and lifted your chin with a single finger. “Cmon..just admit it. I have an affect on you.” His optics bored into your orbs. “…fuck it.” You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. He was kinda surprised, but quickly reciprocated. Mirages lips were like nothing you’ve kissed before, so smooth yet metallic, nonetheless very pleasing.
After a few seconds you two pulled apart, an immediate smirk plastering his face. “I guess Love at first sight really is real, huh?” You smiled up at him and leaned closer. “I guess so, wanna prove it?” And with that you both locked lips once again, a new relationship emerging.
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i hate this. i might make a smut with mirage
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purpleheartskies · 3 months ago
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Robby is the underdog - Part 7
In s6e5, the leitmotif for Daniel's kk1 win against Johnny was used for Robby's captaincy win against Miguel.
(Watch with sound. Credit to another Robby fan who pointed this out to me and created this video.)
"A leitmotif is a repeating melodic phrase in music that is used to represent a character, setting, emotion, or theme. The intentional use of music as a means of communicating character, tone, or theme is a leitmotif." "The leitmotif has proven particularly effective in film scores as a means of creating continuity, heightening the drama and building an emotional connection between characters and the audience.
The fact that the leitmotif for Daniel's (first) win against his bully in kk1 is used for Robby's (first) win against his bully blatantly indicates that Robby is the underdog and Karate Kid of this story. This is more evidence that Robby is the Daniel in this kk story and Miguel is the Johnny.
It's important to note that when Miguel won the s1 avt final against Robby, no leitmotif was played when he won the match and was handed the trophy. Right before his win, an ominous motif was played, indicating that the win wasn't good. After he's handed the trophy and asked to speak, the shot slowly zoom's in on Johnny and starts playing his leitmotif in Cobra Kai (called Father and Son), because his focus was on Robby and his loss. This "win" for Johnny was a major loss in their relationship. In the s4 avt final, a triumphant motif was used for Eli's win, while a more melancholy one was used for Tory's win / Sam's loss.
No kid who has won a trophy so far had gotten the kk1 leitmotif for Daniel's win until Robby did in s6e5.
During the tournament in s1e10, Daniel approached Robby in the locker room and spoke to him about the "need" to find balance:
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Robby: "I just wanted to get back at him [Johnny]." Daniel: "I know. But you're never going to find balance that way. You can't let that bad blood change who you are. I'm not saying you need to like the guy. I know I never will, but he... he is your father. And believe me, you're lucky to have one. You just gotta try to remember, he's... he's not a monster. He's just a guy with a lot of demons. Mr. Miyagi always told me there's no such thing as a bad student, only a bad teacher. And your dad had the worst teacher there ever was. It sent him down a wrong path. But you don't have to go down that path. Do you understand? You don't have to ever become him. Trust me. You let go of all that anger, and I guarantee you, no matter what happens tonight, you go home feeling great."
In kk1 tournament, during his conversation with Miyagi in the locker room, Daniel talked about his need to find balance.
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Daniel: "Can you fix my leg with that thing you do?" Miyagi: "No need fight anymore. You proved a point." Daniel: "What? That I can take a beating? Every time I see those guys, they'll know they got the best of me. I'll never have balance that way, not with them, not with Ali... ...not with me."
Both Daniel and Robby are injured in these scene because a Cobra Kai had injured each of them during their semi-final fight and got disqualified for it. Both Daniel and Robby were then automatically given the semi-final win and were supposed to fight their bully, the main Cobra, in the final. (In my Robby is the underdog - Part 1.5 post, I go over some more of parallels between s1 Robby and kk1 Daniel in their respective avts and that Miguel had already been set up as the bully and Robby as the underdog going into the tournament.)
Both of their mentors had also told them that they didn't have to continue the tournament but both of them insisted that they wanted to. Daniel said what I've quoted above. Robby said, "Yes, I do. I'm going to have to face him sooner or later. Might as well be today."
Miyagi's original lesson to Daniel about balance was this:
"Better learn balance. Balance is key. Balance good, karate good. Everything good. Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?"
In s6e5, Robby was losing the match, until he found balance when Tory arrived.
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During the tournament in kk1, when Daniel was fighting to win a spot in the semis, Miyagi told Daniel: "Remember your defense. Points coming. Concentrate. Focus power. Remember balance. Make good fight."
During Robby's final match in the s1 avt, Daniel told Robby, "Breathe. Focus. Find your balance."
In his captaincy match, Robby was fighting offensively until he found balance, then he switched to mainly defense and won.
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Interestingly, in the s4 avt, Daniel had at first told Eli something similar to what Miyagi had told Daniel in the kk1 tournament: "Concentrate, defense, focus, power. You find your balance, and those points will come."
However, after Eli told Daniel that Robby knows Miyagi-do better and Robby had scored one point on Eli, Daniel told Eli to fight using Cobra Kai and to put Robby on defense. This means that Robby was relying more on Miyagi-Do to fight, while Eli was relying more on Cobra Kai and won the tournament primarily using Cobra Kai teachings, despite representing Miyagi-Do. Eli didn't rely on having balance to win. He won by channeling his anger into fighting. It wasn't a real/pure Miyagi-Do victory.
Daniel had given up on Miyagi's teachings pretty quickly in order to secure the win in the s4 avt. Robby in turn still believes in and follows those teachings. In fact, his balance was off during his match with Eli because Robby had adopted "no mercy" while fighting Kenny and that had affected Robby greatly especially when he saw Kenny and had the realization that Cobra Kai wasn't helping him with his need to find balance.
In his captaincy match, he still relied on those Miyagi-Do lessons and teachings about balance. After he was able to find balance, he won the captaincy match primarily using Miyagi-Do. His win secured him the spot as the male captain, representative, and potential champion for Miyagi-Do in the final tournament in the series. His win was also celebrated using the OG Karate Kid leitmotif for winning by finding balance.
The overall theme of the series is about finding balance not just in karate, but in life as well.
“You remember lesson about balance? Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life. Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?”
In my post Robby is the protagonist, I describe the role the protagonist plays in the story. One signifier of the protagonist is that the theme of the story is told primarily through their story:
The protagonist in a story is the character who offers the most conflict in situations, has the longest emotional journey, and has a primal goal to root for. Their transformation shapes the story's theme. Their choices and motivations affect the direction of the story. They're at the center of the conflict and their decisions push the plot forward. In a story with multiple characters with journeys, there is ultimately one character who is the primary driver of the overall story and their story tells the theme of the overall story. The other characters' can be protagonists in their own journeys but these become subplots of varying levels of importance. The protagonist is the character whose fate matters most. They have the highest stakes and the greatest obstacles.
Everything about the above statement is captured by Robby's story in s6e5:
He offered conflict by resisting Miguel trying to gaslight him about his greater need to win.
His issues with balance have been ongoing since s1, "the longest emotional journey":
"You may know the moves, but none of that matters unless you have balance.... I didn't mean balancing your body. I mean balancing your life. Look, Robby. I know it's hard growing up without a dad, believe me. Mine died when I was young, so I know. But when those bad feelings all weigh you down, you gotta... you gotta search inside for the good stuff, you know, and just... Because then you can find some balance in your life. Understand. It's not easy, but you'll do it."
He has primal goals to root for. He has to find balance in life. He also doesn't believe in his future but has to make a future for himself by knowing who he is and believing in himself and his future:
"Well, you are the tree, Robby. You've got strong roots. You know who you are, right? So now all you've gotta do is visualize what you want your future to look like, and then you make it happen." He also needs to find balance.
Robby's the only character that actively tries to grow and find balance, the theme of the story. Finding balance is emphasized for his story specifically, though other character's stories touch on the theme to different extents.
Robby's choices and motivations really do affect the plot. For example, Robby could have given into Miguel's claim that he deserves the win more, but Robby didn't. Robby stood up for himself and his future for the first time since he stopped doing so in s5e5. Robby didn't back down after that.
At the end of s6e5, although others in Miyagi-Do care about Tory, Robby is the one most connected to Tory and is the most affected by her rejoining Cobra Kai. That is, he is still most central in his connections to both sides in the dojo war.
Robby's fate has been set up to matter most. Robby issues with balance will greatly affect his ability to fight and lead. He has the highest stakes and the greatest obstacles during this tournament. (Though, Sam is also a captain, she won the spot by default, isn't an underdog the story, and balance is mentioned but is not a focus in her story and doesn't affect her karate.) Interestingly, even most Miguel fans are wondering about what will happen to Robby, though they viciously want him to get injured so that Miguel can take over and win.
Robby's story in Cobra Kai, like Daniel's in kk1, is about finding balance. Daniel's issues with balance in kk1 were centered around his issues with Johnny bullying him, how that made Daniel feel, and the trauma it caused. Robby's issues with balance are also centered around his issues with Johnny's behavior towards him, how it makes him feel, and the trauma it causes him. This parallel of kk1 Daniel's issues with balance being about Johnny and Robby's issues with balance being about Johnny is an interesting one.
The stark contrast in their stories is that Daniel had the support of his loved ones including his mentor in his kk1 match, whereas Robby doesn't have the support of his loved ones and his mentor. Johnny, Sam, and Daniel specifically have been on Miguel's side for some time. They all were on Miguel's side during the captaincy match. (Daniel did seem concerned about Miguel after this loss and not that enthused by Robby's win.) Everyone siding with his bully plays a significant role in Robby's issues with balance. Johnny, especially, choosing Miguel over Robby while neglecting and abusing Robby has played the biggest role in Robby's traumas and issues with balance. Tory was his only support during the captaincy match. However, going into the ST, Tory is no longer on/by his side too. Robby is indeed all alone going into this tournament.
Overall, this story is told from the pov of the bullies, Johnny and Miguel, who are unreliable narrators. Right now, all the "good guy" characters have been on the sides of Robby's bullies. They each frame themselves as the good guy. In s6e2, Robby explicitly called out Miguel for framing Robby as the bad guy. Overall, there is so much evidence throughout the story that Robby is the protagonist, underdog, and Karate Kid narratively and thematically in this story.
(This post is part of my Robby is the underdog post series and is also titled "Finding balance - Part 4".)
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popatochisssp · 1 year ago
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So um I saw the ask about the adopted sibling, so I wanted to ask for the new boys plus love your headcanons
This one, right?
Phew it's been awhile, here goes...
Ash (Undergloom Sans): He’s the absolute best to chill with, whenever you need a calm moment with no expectations on you. He loves talking music with you too, and always keeps his non-existent ears open for stuff he thinks he you might like so he can share it with you later. Be prepared for him to try to convert you to the physical media lifestyle if you’re not already into it, CDs and records and cassettes are the way to go, kiddo!
Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): You know the joke about grandmas who hear you haven’t eaten and drop everything to rush over and feed you? Well, it’s not really a joke, it’s him, he’ll do it. Not having a home-cooked meal is not an option if he has anything to say about it. Any mention of being hungry or not knowing what you’re going to do for dinner is basically a guarantee that he’s going to be coming by to check on you—either with leftovers in tow, or plans to push past you into your kitchen and get to work.
Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Do you get cold easily? Do you like knitwear? Are you in need of any sweaters or scarves or hats or gloves? Your answer is irrelevant, you’re going to get them, in spades. You also get to share basically anything he’s eating at any time, if you happen to be around, you will get offered a bite or a piece or a sip, whether you ask or not. The sooner you accept your fate, the better.
King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Problems disappear for you. You might not put it together that it’s his doing because he doesn’t go out of his way to draw attention to it, but once you’re in his life, your life starts to feel a bit more charmed. Your stuff hardly ever breaks, you always have what you need when you need it, people are nice to you—and if they’re not, they don’t seem to stay in your orbit long enough for it to matter. He’s a facilitator, and what he wants to facilitate for you is an easy, uncomplicated life. (Just don’t call him on it unless you want to be the annoying little sibling. He is not nice! How dare you imply otherwise... Brat.)
Merc (Horrorswap Sans): He’s a great sounding board for when you don’t know what to do. He doesn’t give advice, per se, but he’s a calm and patient listener, and he has a real knack for guiding you to realize what you want or need. He’s also an open invitation to absolutely anything he’s doing, whether that’s baking or yoga or watching a show. You’re always welcome to join if you want something to do!
Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): He’s your tech-bro, the guy you bring your stuff to before having to call a professional. He’ll give you a bit of shit for 'breaking' it, what’d you do, what kind of weird sites were you on, huh? But in spite of his grumping, he always does his best to fix your problem and set you up for success later. Just show a little gratitude, pay him in chocolate, or coffee, or watching that horror movie with him that no one else wants to, yeah?
Pitch (Horrrorswapfell Sans): He’s the one you want if you’re looking for a fun time. All that stuff you need to get permission for or no one ever let you do because you’re too young or inexperienced? He’s the one to make it happen—you’ve gotta get the experience somehow, don’t you? He can get you into parties, movies, whatever you want to do, really. He’s definitely gonna be the one to take you for your first tattoo, first piercing, first drink (provided you want any of those, of course)… You only live once and there’s no better time to start than when you’re young and the world is your oyster!
Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): What’s his is yours. If there’s something he has that you like or want for yourself, go ahead, take it , he doesn’t need it—or if he does, he can get a new one. Clothes, trinkets, food, essentials, if he has it you can help yourself to it, no questions asked. The only thing he cares about is that you're happy and taken care of.
Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Do you need a ride? Will you need a ride? When will you need a ride? He’s there whenever, any time night or day if you gotta get somewhere and don’t want to (or can’t) drive. But hey, if you want to learn how to drive, he’d love to teach you! He’s chill and easygoing so he’s probably the least likely to stress you out while you’re learning…and if you do manage to ding his bumper or scrape the curb a little, hey, it happens, that’s why you’re practicing, y’know?
Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): Documentarian of all your special moments, taking pictures of, for, and with you, recording videos, saving any and all physical scraps of paper with your name or accomplishments listed on them that he can get his hands on. He’s proud of you and all the things you do, of course there ought to be a record of it all—for posterity! …And for him. …And for you, in case you ever forget any of the cool things you’ve done!
Spectr (Transcendtale Sans): He’s just kind of always around. Usually as a hooded figure lurking in the distance, but occasionally falling into step with you when you’re walking somewhere alone, or sliding into the seat beside you on public transit. He’s not always much for conversation but he likes being around if you need him, or at least keeping you from being all the way alone.
PapAIrus (Transcendtale Papyrus): A near-constant source of messages and appearances throughout your day. He’s always happy to entertain you if you want someone to talk to, but especially if you happen to be bored (the horror!). He’s got a knack for knowing when you need a diversion or an amusement and he’s sure to pop up on one screen or another to give it to you when you need him the most.
Xanth (Ascendswap Sans): He loves to shower you in presents pretty much whenever he sees you. Never anything expensive or even necessary, mostly just bizarre little tchotchkes—bracelets, pendants, bobbles and baubles—seemingly random items that ‘had your vibe’ or felt like they’d be ‘on your wavelength.’ Annoyingly enough, he’s never wrong, no matter how weird the gift, it’s always right up your alley and he loves bringing a smile to your face with his random finds.
Piper (Ascendswap Papyrus): If you didn’t want to have your own personal stylist…well sorry, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten adopted by proxy by somebody who wants you to look and feel your best, I guess? He likes to take you shopping for things and offer his advice and opinions, and if you’ll let him, maybe steer you towards a few things here and there that you wouldn’t have thought to try. Don’t worry about the cost of anything, if there’s a deal to be had, he’ll get it one way or another…
Carmine (Underfell Fruition Sans): The best wingman ever, he’s always down to be there for you when you need a little confidence boost, too shy or nervous to do something all by yourself. If you need a hype up before asking someone out, somebody to go to XYZ with so you’re not the odd one out, even just somebody to go see a movie with, the answer’s always the same—sounds great, what time? He’ll never let you down and never leave you hanging.
Tank (Underfell Fruition Papyrus): He's like having a bodyguard whenever you need one. And really, who wouldn’t want to have a big tough guy willing to follow them around and do whatever they want him to do? He’s great at that, being a strong silent presence for you whether you need a little intimidation or just someone to get something off a high shelf for you—y’know, typical scary tall guy stuff. But if you’re looking for some quiet quality time, he’s good for that too, happy to parallel play anytime!
Vi (Swapfell Fruition Sans): He’s good at keeping you on track and making sure all your important documents are in order. He knows your schedule almost down to the minute and tends to text you about anything that might interrupt your routine before it becomes a problem, and you don’t even have to ask him to take a look at your financials or help you with taxes—he’s already combed through the figures and pounced on every little discrepancy and rounding error he could find. You’re welcome, by the way.
Hunter (Swapfell Fruition Papyrus): You don’t get out enough. You’re coming out with him. Yes, outside. No, you don’t have a choice, he’ll drag you if you don’t go willingly, being inside 24/7 is terrible for you he would know. Don’t worry, it won’t be so bad, he can probably find you something cool to see, some animal tracks or a neat plant, maybe a stream. He’ll make sure you get back home in one piece and everything too, alive even, maybe. He just wants to share a little time and fresh air with you, and being cooped up indoors all the time is no fun, even if you’re used to it.
Kohl (Descendtale Sans): He…hassles you. He sneaks up on you when your guard is down, shows up in unexpected places to spook you, makes jokes at your expense… It’s nothing worse than teasing, really, and compared to how he is with most everyone else, his pestering tends to read as playful more than anything else. Still, if you’re looking for a sweet, helpful big brother…look elsewhere. He’s the bastard big brother that you’ve begrudgingly grown fond of, and you’re the irritating little sib that he’s forced to admit is growing on him, a little…much like a fungus might.
Bram (Descendtale Papyrus): He calls at least once a day if he doesn’t see you, and sometimes even then. He’s always trying to check in on you to see if you need anything, make sure you’re doing alright, and oh, of course if you’d like to do anything today, or maybe later in the week? It may be a little a lot overeager of him, but he cares about you and doesn’t ever want to lose touch! So please text him back so he knows you got home safe, he’ll worry if you’re radio silent too long!
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dutifullylazybread · 8 months ago
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just found you, i see a lot of pre and post family with the teefs. what about during? and directly after? how do they care for their partner during pregnancy? especially if its a diffcult one? and afterward when their partners body has changed and maybe they're less confident about the extra weight, softer body, the extra rolls and teh stretch marks that wont go away? how does each bachelor help or make it better ir suddenly realize that is even wrong to begin with? what if they accidentally something bring out that newly found weakness in their partners confidence? ( sorry if youre busy i know you got stuff to do- i just figured youre the person who could slam dunk these thoughts i had)
Have I... GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN JOIN THE TIEFLING HEAD CANON SQUAD???????
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ADDED 4/26/24: This might be a rough list, but I hope you all enjoy!! ❤️
OKAY. I GOTTA ADD CAL. I'M ADDING CAL. THIS SWEET MAN IS A TIEFLING BACHELOR AND DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH FAN CONTENT... YET.
And thank you for bearing with me--I know that this ask was sent in a hot minute ago! I'm hoping I answered all of your questions; I got to a point of this sitting in my drafts where I just felt bad about how long it had been there, so I tried to be thorough but I wanted to get this out sooner rather than later. I mostly worked on this when I had a few spare moments between chapters, and then I said "screw it. This is getting done. TODAY."
So, for Cal, Rolan, Zevlor, and Dammon--let's go!
DISCLAIMER - I do not have children myself, nor have I ever been pregnant. So I shall do my best!
JUST IN CASE - A CONTENT WARNING: While writing these head canons, I did refer to the tiefling's partner as "you." If reading about being pregnant makes you uncomfortable for any reason, please be aware and be kind to yourself. I have zero doubt in my mind that I will be creating another head canon list, so if you need to pass or wait on this one, that's absolutely okay. Your mental health is important.
Cal
While Cal's partner is pregnant, he will do absolutely anything and everything to make sure they are comfortable. To say that he is doting is putting things very mildly.
He will make your favorite meals, will go out and get whatever you are craving (late night runs--not a problem), will rub your swollen ankles.
Too hot? He's asking Rolan for a cantrip scroll to fix it. Too cold? He's already piling you with blankets.
Are you feeling sick and nauseous? He's already prepping something for you to eat/drink that doesn't have an offensive smell.
And if it's a hard pregnancy? I don't see him leaving your side. If he does, he has Rolan create a sending stone set for the two of you so that you can reach out to him for anything and everything.
Honestly, he doesn't get far enough for him to even use the sending stones. He is looking for anything and everything to make the pregnancy easier on you. If he wasn't a light sleeper before, he is now because he doesn't want you to lay there in pain.
There may be points where he feels helpless because while he can do things to try and alleviate any physical discomfort, there are just times when he might just grasp at straws.
And, in situations where he can't alleviate your physical discomfort, he will do what he can to distract you.
He keeps his stress managed well enough, but that doesn't mean he won't snap at Lia or Rolan if he is too anxious. If he does get openly frustrated with them, it takes both off guard.
I also think he just holds you. A lot. Part of that is to comfort you, and the other part is to assure himself that everything will be okay.
If his partner is dealing with body image issues after giving birth, I see him being confused. You? The most enchanting person he has ever known?
Cut to him kissing you and holding you whenever possible. He'll ask Lia and Rolan to watch the baby whilst the two of you go on outings when your health permits. If it helps you to hear it, he'll remind you how lovely you are. Frequently. Hourly. Every five minutes? Not quite, but close enough.
Personally, I don't think his doting goes away after the pregnancy. And, if it is too much, it might make you feel like he views you as helpless.
If you give voice to this, he goes into immediate mediation mode. He will be extremely apologetic. He loves you and never wants you to think he perceives you as anything other than the phenomenal person you are.
Rolan
Ugh. My beloved.
He might be more stressed about having a child than you are.
He never anticipated being a father, and that might be for 15+ reasons, but he feels drastically unprepared (even if the pregnancy was planned).
He reads every. Single. Book. On pregnancy. He is the parent who gives himself nightmares when he reads about birthing complications.
Every sign of discomfort that you show is a catastrophe on the horizon.
And if it's a difficult pregnancy? Yeah. Dial that up by five notches.
He is preparing for all worst-case scenarios.
If it weren't for Cal and Lia keeping him in check, he would be safety-proofing everything in the tower.
He crafts sending stones so you can call for him if you need anything. ANYTHING.
But also, he starts shadowing midwives and asking lots of questions. If the worst were to happen and you couldn't reach a professional, he wants to be there to help you.
After giving birth, I see him splitting his anxiety between your health/recovery and the baby's overall well-being.
"The baby sneezed. That might indicate five different lethal illnesses. I'm fetching the cleric."
This is another situation where you, Cal, and Lia might have to remind him that, yes, babies do sometimes sneeze, and not everything that lands in the diaper spells doom.
Rolan might not initially understand why you're feeling self-conscious about any weight gain. Of course you're lovely. Also, isn't that what happens with pregnancies? (His words--not mine).
He assures you that you're lovely, but words might not be enough here. He might shove his foot in his mouth while trying to make the situation better.
But the best thing for him to do is remind you, repeatedly, that you are lovely. And that might not have been something he was accustomed to even saying to you prior to you conceiving. He would assume you knew that he was attracted to you.
It honestly might be the strangest (and most endearing) thing to have him say "You look very lovely today. Yes, even with the baby's spit up on your shirt."
Zevlor
*nervously staring at the tiefling I am the most unsure about writing.*
*cracks my knuckles and cries because it hurt like hell*
Zevlor has been through some of the most heinous things that can be thrown at someone. He is a seasoned soldier. A Hellrider. Surely he can help his partner through pregnancy. After all, there were plenty of soldiers in the barracks who has pregnant spouses. He's heard enough stories that he feels prepared.
He survived the Elturel's Descent. It's possible that he helped safeguard someone who was in the middle of giving birth or guided expecting parents to safety. Maybe he had to fight off the devil's skulking the streets if they caught wind/heard that person enduring birthing pains?
So maybe, he thinks, he has already seen some of the worst births ever. Maybe, he thinks, in this time of relative peace, in this home that he and his love have created, it'll be easier?
My personal headcanon for Zevlor is that he put EVERYTHING into being a Hellrider/paladin. It was his life. It was his every breathing moment. And when he became an oathbreaker, it destroyed him. His life was devoted to protecting others, and he feels that he failed in the worst of ways possible.
He certainly had friends and very possibly family that he would see on occasion, but I think that, if you didn't fight alongside him/live in the barracks too, you very likely didn't see much of him.
So maybe he has heard a great deal about pregnancies. And maybe he knows about the complicated ones--just a bit. But he himself is at a loss for when his partner tells him that they are pregnant.
Is he excited? Absolutely. Is he terrified. Oh yeah.
Regardless of how complicated the pregnancy is, he is nervous. He is worried that he will slip up in all the ways that matter, and he is terrified of letting you down.
He's a soldier though, and he prepares for everything.
He has additional blankets and pillows next to the bed.
Hot and cold compresses are ready to go.
He makes sure that he accounts for your cravings whenever shopping.
He has medicine for when the pain is severe. And when the medicine doesn't cut it, he tries his best to distract you--his mileage varies.
And this man adores you. So after the pregnancy, if you are feeling self-conscious, he will worship your body.
Dammon
I could see Cal and Dammon both being very doting, but Dammon would be juggling the forge and helping you.
If you spent a lot of time in the forge with him prior to pregnancy but find that being in there now makes you feel ill, he will absolutely feel lonelier. He is definitely the sort of person who gets very absorbed in his work, and I think this makes him feel guilty. Especially if he feels like him being there could have made things easier for you.
He becomes a meal prep king. Will cook several comfort meals for you to eat while he is working.
Massages swollen ankles and feet and anything else.
While he might have worked later hours in the forge before, he makes a point to wrap things up sooner to spend evenings with you.
That doesn't mean he isn't nervous--you're about to have a child, and he does worry if there will be enough money.
He worries that if he does slow down, commissions will dry up, and then where will that leave the three of you?
If the pregnancy is difficult, he feels guilty for leaving you alone and looks for hundreds of ways to make things easier.
Eventually, he creates a small sitting space for you near the doorway to the shop itself. It's not so close to the forge that you'll be uncomfortably hot or so close that the smell will make you sick, and he sets up a small tarp to create some shade.
If you helped Dammon in the forge before the pregnancy, he is likely hesitant to have you come back and immediately help. Especially if the birth was difficult.
But what you need, more than anything from him, is time
And Dammon wants to be a parent who is present in your life and the baby's, so he does everything to be there.
But money is still a stressor. And he might worry about you being in the forge again. So he's stressed on all fronts.
And while I don't see him commenting or changing how he treats his partner because of weight change, I do see him being VERY reluctant to have you work in the forge with him.
And this may lead to an argument. You know he is stressed about commissions and being there for you and the baby, but you still want to help.
So Dammon dials it back several notches and agrees that you know your body best. So long as you feel comfortable working in the forge, and so long as you listen to your body, the two of you can start it from there.
And it gets easier to balance the forge and child rearing. While the baby isn't allowed close to the open heat/flame until they fully understand why they must be careful (and until their lungs are developed), you and Dammon create a small swing/play area nearby.
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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago
Text
New in Town - Ch. 3: First Family Dinner
Sarah comes to visit and has questions for Joel. A continuation of New in Town chapters 1-2 found on Tumblr here.
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Pairing: Best Friend's Dad!Joel Miller x Female Reader
CW: Smut :D Yeah, they're horny, OK? Just expect a lot of smut in this fic. No use of Y/N. Age gap (reader is 35 Joel is 47, not a focus of the fic). Minors DNI, 18+ only
Length: 5.1k
AO3 | First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Joel actually felt pretty damn smart when he got to his house. He stopped at the trash bin that sat outside the garage and dropped his now empty coffee cup into it, just in case Sarah asked why he’d gone to the place with the name stamped on the side of the cup. 
He didn’t have a good fucking reason to be at a coffee shop by your apartment besides being at your apartment. And he knew he wasn’t ready to tell his daughter about the fact that you two were… whatever the fuck you were. 
What were you doing with him? What did you want with him? Why was it so hard to know and why was he so fucking afraid to ask? 
Didn’t matter now. The morning Sarah showed up to surprise him with a visit was not the morning to be having this discussion. 
“Baby Girl?” Joel called as he closed the door behind him, dropping his keys on the table in his entry way. 
“Dad!” Sarah flew around the corner and launched herself at him, just like she’d done when she was a kid. He caught her, the air knocked out of him, laughing as he caught his breath. “I missed you, old man!” 
“Missed you too, Baby Girl,” he said, setting her down and stretching out his back. “But you’re gonna have to cut me a break, think my back is gettin’ too old to be catchin’ you like that.” 
“How am I supposed to properly shower you in affection if I can’t just throw my whole body at you?” She smirked. “But fine, I guess if it’s for the sake of your health…” 
He rolled his eyes and tugged her against his side, kissing her temple. 
“Just gotta have you move back closer to home,” he gave her a squeeze. “Wouldn’t need to tackle me if I just saw you more.” 
“Yeah, I’m working on that,” she smiled. “Trying to get promoted from junior copywriter to intermediate so I can come to the Austin office sooner rather than later…” 
“That’s amazing Baby Girl!” Joel gave her another squeeze before leading her to the living room and settling on the couch. “I’m sure you’re close, they know how good you are.”
“Speaking of my grand plan,” she said. “I see you’ve been hanging out with my work wife.” 
Joel coughed to try to hide his surprise. 
“What?” He asked after a moment. 
“Well I know you didn’t do the Seattle Zombie 5K last Halloween,” she nodded at his shirt. Joel felt his stomach drop. “But I know we did.” 
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. 
“Not doing a walk of shame are you?” She asked, her eyebrows raised. 
“You ever known me to be the walk of shame type?” He asked, scrambling for a reason that he’d have your shirt. “I just fixed her garbage disposal for her a few weeks ago, got soaked. She was nice enough to give me a clean shirt so I wasn’t drippin’ wet on the drive home. Didn’t realize it’d made it into my dresser is all. I’ll have to wash it again, give it back…” 
“But you are hanging out with her then?” She asked. “I mean, you said give it back like you were going to see her again so…”
“We went out once since I helped with the sink and shit,” he said, telling himself that it wasn’t a lie, not really. You’d only successfully made it out of the house together once. Sarah scrunched her nose. “What, Baby Girl?” 
“Nothing,” she sighed. “I was just hoping you guys would be friends is all. You’re both kind of alone down here, you know? I worry. I don’t want you doing nothing but sitting in the house doing… whatever weird old man stuff you do.” 
“I don’t do weird old man stuff…” 
“And leave her alone too long and the next thing you know she’s on the dating apps and she ends up going out with some total idiots,” she said, ignoring Joel’s protest entirely. “Really, Dad, her taste in men is shit and I’m not here to keep her busy, I was kind of counting on you here.” 
Joel frowned. 
“Not on you to protect her,” he said. Though, from what little he knew, Sarah was right. Your taste in men was shit. “And I’m sure she’s got better things to do than hang out with someone who does ‘old man things…’” 
That was something that Joel had been thinking about a lot over the past two weeks. Yes, you seemed to be about as insatiable for him as he was for you and he didn’t have any damn clue as to why. But he could think of plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t be. How long was it going to be before you realized that he didn’t offer you much? He couldn’t take you to fancy restaurants every week or on nice trips. He wasn’t interested in another child and you were still young enough that you might want to be a mother. His body was often sore and worn after decades of damn near breaking himself to make a living. How much longer would you be wanting to pull him into restaurant bathrooms and make yourself come on his leg because you just couldn’t bear to wait anymore? How much longer could he text you to bitch about work while on a break at a job site and have you respond with a gif from Sharknado because you knew it would make him laugh? How much longer could he look at the selfies you sent him and think to himself “that’s my girl,” even though you weren’t even his girl now let alone in the future?
He was already in too deep with you, way too damn deep. Someone was going to have to pry you out of him, you’d already settled inside his skin and he liked it that way. Liked thinking of you first thing in the morning and just before he fell asleep, liked that you were the first thing on his mind when he got lunch at a food truck and he stumbled on something really good, liked that you showed up with his favorite beer and some obscure snack food when you came over to his place because you said you saw it and thought of him.
“Her taste in men isn’t dangerously bad,” Sarah waved him off. “Just… she tends to go for guys who definitely don’t deserve her, you know?” 
“Yeah,” Joel sighed. “I know.” 
Fuck, did he know.
“Anyway,” she said with a dramatic eye roll that reminded him of when she was a teenager. He smiled a little. “I’m in town until Wednesday! I know you’ll have to work…” 
“I can take a few days off,” he said quickly. “Get Uncle Tommy to make sure shit doesn’t go sideways…” 
“Awesome!” She perked up at that. “Because I think there are at least two Curtis and Vipers I haven’t gotten around to seeing yet and I’m going to require a handcrafted Dad burger - preferably grilled - while I’m in town. My apartment doesn’t let me have a grill on my balcony, it’s so dumb.” 
“Probably a fire code thing, Baby Girl,” he smiled. “But I think we can swing some movies and a cookout while you’re here. Tommy’d love to see ya, Maria too.” 
“Can we start by jumping in the pool?” She asked. “Because I haven’t gotten to swim in months.” 
“Might be a bit cold…” 
“Please,” she scoffed. “This is mid-summer weather in Seattle, plenty warm enough for a swim.” 
Joel smiled. 
“Whatever you want, Baby Girl.” 
The water was definitely colder than Joel would normally jump into but, for Sarah, he’d do just about anything. 
He was still getting used to drinking with his daughter, the two of them floating around the water with beers most of the day. Joel got out for a bit to make sandwiches - he put potato chips on Sarah’s just like he had when she was a kid - and he just listened to what she’d been up to, hanging on her every word. 
Joel had always felt incredibly lucky to have Sarah as his daughter. There were the obvious reasons, of course. She was kind and thoughtful, she was smart as a whip and loved to do well in school to the point that he almost never had to tell her to do her homework, she actually liked spending time with him. But she never had a problem being open with him about damn near anything. 
It wasn’t always the most pleasant experience - hearing about boy problems when he couldn’t actually intervene was harder than Joel had expected it to be - but he was grateful for it. He never had to wonder what his daughter was up to, she just told him. 
Part of it, he was sure, was because he’d asked her to grow up too fast. He hadn’t meant to, of course, but it seemed to come with the territory of single parenthood. There was no one there to back him up when he had to work late, no one there to take over the child rearing when he was sick or just so exhausted from work that he slept through his damn alarm. Sarah fell into the role of second parent, sometimes raising herself as much as Joel had. 
He was just happy she didn’t resent him for it. She seemed to recognize how hard he’d tried to give her everything, do everything he possibly could to make her happy and give her a good life. Even if it hadn’t always worked, he’d always tried. The fact that she’d made it to college on scholarship, that she’d finished towards the top of her class, that she’d gotten a good paying job doing something she liked to do, the fact that she was happy and doing something with her mind instead of breaking her body down like Joel was every damn day of his life was the proudest he’d ever been of anything. 
Could he really risk his relationship with her for you? Yes, you made him happy. So fucking happy. You were the first thing in years that he felt like he really, truly wanted. And it had hit him hard, so fucking hard. It was like he’d saved up all his longing just for you, like it had been waiting for something powerful enough to show up and unleash it all and it had knocked him off his damn feet. 
But you were Sarah’s best friend. 
“So one thing that’s seriously lacking in the Pacific Northwest is good TexMex,” Sarah said, lounging on a pool float, her face tilted toward the sun, eyes closed. “Think we can go out for dinner tonight? I need enchiladas and tamales and I need them sooner rather than later.” 
“Only if you don’t get mad that I ask for the real spicy salsa,” Joel said. 
“How did I end up so cursed that my two favorite people love to melt their tongues off as a hobby?” Sarah sighed. “But fine, order the miserable stuff. I’ll just get the regular salsa like a normal person.” 
Joel scoffed. 
“The normal ship has sailed with you, Baby Girl. Me and Tommy around you so much? Never stood a chance.” 
Just an hour later, he and Sarah were headed into her favorite Austin restaurant. Joel added it to his mental list of places to take you. It was Sarah’s favorite for a reason, after all. 
“Table for two,” Joel held up two fingers to the hostess but Sarah cut him off. 
“It’s three, actually,” she smiled, not looking at him. 
“Three?” He frowned. She ignored him and just held up three fingers to the hostess. It took him until they were at the table to really put it together. “Sarah…” 
“I’m here to see you but I really want to see her, too,” she said as she slid into the booth. “And I do think you guys will really get along if you actually give it a shot. Please, Dad? Give her a chance?” 
A chance wasn’t the only thing he’d given you. 
“Baby Girl, I’m sure she’d rather do something besides…” 
“Besides what?” Your voice appeared over his shoulder, Joel turning toward the sound so fast it made his head spin. You smiled a little sheepishly. 
“Hi.” 
***
Well Joel clearly hadn’t been expecting you. 
That boded just so well. 
“Hey Bestie!” Sarah squealed and got out of the booth to throw her arms around your neck. You laughed and hugged her back. “Ugh, I miss you! The office sucks without you there. So does the rest of Seattle, honestly.” 
You laughed. 
“I miss you too,” you gave her a squeeze before the two of you separated. “I keep trying to convince the VP at this branch that I absolutely unequivocally need a junior copywriter on my team. He hasn’t bought it yet but I think if I just keep asking him I’ll wear him down and he’ll cave to my annoying tendencies and just give me whatever I want.”
“Oh so you’re playing hardball,” Sarah teased as she got back in the booth and you slid in beside her. 
“Clearly yes,” you nodded sagely. “I read ‘The Art of War’ and just bothering people until they give up is the best battle tactic in the world…” 
You turned to look at Joel who was watching you intently. 
You hadn’t expected Joel to show up tonight anymore than he’d expected you. Sarah was playing you both like a goddamn fiddle. You’d worn a strappy, silky slip dress with a denim jacket over it thinking you were going out with your best friend, not going to be stuck trying to keep from staring at your who-the-fuck-knows-what sitting across from you. 
Who also happened to be your best friend’s dad. 
You tried not to think about that part. 
“Figured I’d force you two to get to know each other better over margaritas,” Sarah said brightly. “I can’t let you both just sit and stare at a wall all by yourselves until I can move back to town…” 
“I don’t stare at walls!” You protested. Sarah ignored you. 
“So you can at least keep each other company,” she finished. 
“Good to see you again, Joel,” you said, trying as hard as you could to not picture him naked across the table. 
Which was really fucking hard. 
His dark button down was rolled up to his elbows and fit his damn broad shoulders so perfectly all you could think about was the way he looked as he fucked into you, the way his muscles rippled through his chest and you had to fight to not bite down on them. His hair was tamed without being sculpted or overly styled and you wanted to run your fingers through it and sink your grip into his scalp as he ate you. 
“You too,” he said. 
You’d never had this visceral of a reaction to a man you’d fucked before, never, not even when you were a stupid teenager. Of course, you’d never tried to hide your relationship before, either. 
But you had the feeling that wouldn’t matter with Joel. You’d feel this intensity toward him whether Sarah was beside you or not, whether you could be open about your affection for him or not. 
And now you were going to have to sit across from him when he looked that damn good all through dinner. 
The second the server came to the table you ordered a margarita. You had a feeling you were going to need the tequila. 
It took conscious effort to pay attention to what Sarah was saying as she tried to bring up things she thought you and Joel had in common. Almost like she was trying to launch an ad campaign for each of you. 
It felt like forever but you were sure you’d only been seated a few minutes when you gave up on not touching Joel. You carefully slid your foot out of your pump and started sliding it up his inner leg, starting near his ankle. Joel jumped a little in his chair at the contact, his eyes darting to you. You just raised your eyebrows at him as you took a drink from your margarita and slid your foot up his leg to his knee. He shifted in his seat, his eyes steadily on Sarah but you could tell he had to focus on her now, actively work to give her attention. You smirked a bit at that. 
You kept the pattern up as the three of you waited for your food, Joel’s eyes always going a little wide when your toes made it to his inner thigh. 
“Ugh, I’m starving,” Sarah groaned as a tray of sizzling fajitas passed your table. “Here, scootch out, I’m going to the bathroom. That’ll make the food come.” 
“It always does,” you agreed, quickly shoving your foot back into your shoe and getting out of the booth. 
You both watched as Sarah made her way across the restaurant, turning to Joel the second you knew she was out of earshot. 
“Did you say anything?” You were whispering anyway. 
“No,” he replied. “We hadn’t talked about it, didn’t seem like the time… Did you say somethin’?” 
“Not a word,” you said. 
“I really need you to cool it over there, Beautiful,” Joel said. Any other time, you’d think he was teasing you but his eyes looked open and earnest now. “We can’t just go into a bathroom right now and it’s already a fucking miracle I haven’t tried to rip that goddamn dress off you, Jesus Christ, you can’t just show up places lookin’ that damn good…” “You’re one to talk!” You replied, incredulous, as you looked down at his exposed, tan, muscled forearms and back up at his face. “Fucking hell, Joel!” 
He smirked a little. 
“That’s all it takes with you, huh?” He teased, leaning across the table toward you. “Just a little bit of skin and you’re outta control?”
“Oh fuck off,” you rolled your eyes but grinned a little all the same. “I know you know what the rolled up sleeves thing does to women.” 
“I promise I do not,” he said, watching over your shoulder now. “But you’ll have to enlighten me later…” 
Sarah came back to the table and her face fell. 
“Shit, that usually works,” she sighed. “Alright, scoot in, we can just trade spots.” 
You obeyed and slid over, purposely leaning over the table as you did, giving Joel full view of your bra below your dress as you did. He was all but glaring at you as you sat back in the booth. 
Consciously, you knew you shouldn’t be pushing him like this. For starters, this was not how you wanted Sarah to find out. Assuming she was ever going to find out. 
But you shouldn’t be trying to frustrate Joel. Not like this, not so early on in your… whatever the fuck this was. 
You had a tendency to do this, to bend things until they broke the second something was looking like it could get serious, the second that it looked like it’d be worth the time and the effort. You were starting to think it was something your subconscious did on purpose. If you sabotaged the relationship early, there wasn’t the same kind of risk. Push the guy too far and he’d break things off with you and you could return to the relative emotional safety of dating apps and bars. Only ever go out with someone for a few weeks and it wouldn’t hurt that bad if they left. 
And they would leave. They always left. You might be worth the time for a bit but you weren’t worth the trouble for anything real, that much had been made clear to you in the years you’d spent dating around. It had gotten you hurt when you were young and stupid, back when you were Sarah’s age. Now, you fucking knew better. 
You knew better than to get anywhere close to what you were starting to feel with Joel. 
And here you were, doing it anyway, with your best friend’s dad. 
So of course your first reaction was to push him. Push, push, push. It’s what you did. 
You stirred your melting margarita. 
You’d never been more relieved to have food brought to your table. 
“Thanks so much for coming out tonight!” Sarah hugged you goodbye in the parking lot, the awkward, hesitant conversation at the table through dinner still tense over you. 
“It was so great to see you!” You hugged her back and kissed her cheek. “Seriously, I’m wearing the bosses down, start packing now because I miss you too much.” 
She laughed. 
“I’ll be on the first plane out once I get a job offer,” she said. “Either way, I’ll be back for the holidays, we have to hang out then. Just us girls at least once, promise.” 
You smiled a little, hoping Sarah would still want to talk to you at the holidays. 
“Sounds perfect.” 
Joel gave you a tight smile and a nod. 
“Talk to you soon?” He said, his voice too open and honest to fit the shared awkwardness of your position feet apart in the parking lot. 
“Yeah,” you smiled. “Text me?” 
“Sure,” he smiled back. 
You poured yourself a glass of wine the second you were in the door, only pausing to take your shoes off as you made your way to the kitchen. You settled in on the couch without bothering to change, carrying the bottle of wine with you, and you put on some shitty Netflix reality show you could zone out and barely pay attention to. 
You were four episodes deep when your phone lit up. 
“Fuck that was hard,” Joel texted. 
You smiled a little. 
“Was that hard or were you hard?” You texted back. 
“Both,” he replied almost immediately. Your smile grew and you downed the last of the wine. 
You hadn’t had enough to drink to be drunk but you’d had enough that it made you feel… bold. Like you wanted to try something new. 
You took off your jacket and slid the straps of your dress down so your cleavage was spilling over the top of it, your breasts barely contained by it. You took a selfie, a needy look on your face, and sent him the picture. 
“Need help with that?” You asked. 
“Jesus Christ,” he texted back almost immediately. “Good thing Sarah just went to call some boy she started seeing back in Washington, can’t just send a guy shit like that and expect him to sit still.” 
You bit your lip for a second, getting an idea. You headed for your room and shimmied out of the dress before you put on the sexiest bra you owned and switched to the matching panties. You posed in the full length mirror in the corner of your room, one leg out, a hand on your hip. 
“What about shit like this?” You asked as you sent the picture along. 
“Really fucking mean for you to send that when you know I can’t come take it off you,” he texted back. 
You flopped down on your stomach on your bed, reminded of how you felt texting guys when you were younger and you had to make sure you didn’t go over your texting limit for the month. 
“You can always fight back you know,” you said. “I can’t come rip your clothes off either.” 
“You trying to get me to sext with you?” He asked. 
“Maybe.” 
It took a few minutes before he sent you a picture. He was in his room, stripped down to his boxer briefs. He fisted his cock through the fabric of them, the veins on his hand prominent. 
“Something like this?” He asked. 
You groaned, your hand sliding to your clit before you even thought about it. You rolled onto your back and took a picture of your hand slipping into your panties before sending it on. 
“Just like that,” you replied. 
“Fuck.” 
The one word was all he sent for a minute before he followed it up with a picture of his cock in his hand. You moaned at the sight of him, a pearl of pre-come leaking from his swollen head. You wanted to swallow it up, lick up and down his thick shaft, take all of him in your mouth until you were choking on him and he spilled down your throat. 
“Tried to make this last but you’re too fucking much for me,” he texted. “Couldn’t wait.” 
You took off your bra and tossed it to the floor before taking a handful of your breast in your hand, holding the phone high over your head, high enough that it could capture your needy expression and the way you were touching yourself. 
“Neither could I.” 
Usually, when you fucked yourself, you used toys. You had a few that you’d become partial to over the years of cycling through men and relationships, the fake dicks in your life lasting a whole hell of a lot longer than the real ones. 
Tonight, you didn’t need one. Didn’t think you could pull yourself away from touching your own body long enough to pull one out, not with Joel’s face and body and cock on the brain. You slid your hand down your chest, your stomach, back to your pussy. You rubbed your clit in little circles with your index finger as you stretched your middle finger down, down, down toward your dripping hole. 
When his next message came through, you dropped your phone in your rush to open it and you scrambled to pick it up with one hand, your other one too occupied to want to do anything else. 
This time, it was a video. His large hand was working his thick length, his cock still looking big even in his grasp that dwarfed your own. He worked his cock slowly, his thumb sweeping over the head and collecting the pre-come before he slid it firmly down with quiet moan. 
“Fuck, I need you,” his voice was soft, a whisper. “Need to feel that perfect fuckin’ pussy…” 
You were about to rewatch the video, your mouth watering, when he texted again. 
“Can I call you?” 
You didn’t respond. Instead, you just called him, putting the phone to speaker and setting it on your chest between your breasts. 
He answered on the first ring. 
“Hey beautiful,” he said, voice low and dark and needy. “Fuck, I gotta be quiet…” 
“I know,” you said, whispering back even though you didn’t have a reason to. “Don’t care, as long as I can hear you.” 
“Tell me what you’re doin’ to yourself,” he was almost panting. “What you’re thinkin’ about…” 
“I’m rubbing my clit,” you moaned. “Got one finger inside of myself, thinking about you eating me out last night…” 
“Fuck you tasted so good,” his voice became a little more strained. “Wanna taste you right now.” 
You moaned and fucked yourself a little harder, a little faster, your eyes closed in pleasure. 
“Add another finger,” he said. “Want you to work up to this cock, want you thinking about me deep in you when you come.” 
“Fuck Joel,” you were panting now, too, as you added another finger. 
“Tell me what you’re thinking now,” he whispered. 
“You pushing into me,” you groaned it. “Opening me up for you…” 
“Fuck, Beautiful, you’re gonna fuckin’ kill me.” 
You heard the pace of his hand increase on the other end of the phone and you worked your pussy a little harder and faster, too, whimpering as you did. 
“Can you fit a third finger?” He panted. 
“Yes,” you managed, getting desperate, your body starting to feel tight, all the heat of you drawing deep into yourself. 
“Add it,” he groaned. “Fuck yourself deep, hard. Fuck yourself like I fucked you last night, how I’d fuck you right now if I were there.” 
You obeyed, thrusting your fingers in as deep as you could reach, whimpering at the stretch that you knew had nothing on his thick cock. 
“You were so fucking deep,” your legs were restless, the tightness extending so far down that you knew your orgasm was going to make your whole body quake. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn big, Joel…” 
“And you take me so fucking well,” he panted. “Take me like you were made to take this cock, fuck!” 
“I was made to take you,” you whimpered, desperate and aching. “Made to make you come, need you to fucking come, please Joel, please come for me…” 
“Fuck, fuck, I’m coming!” It was a choking, strangled whisper and you heard him muffle his moaning in a pillow, the sound of his pleasure sending you over the edge. 
It was the hardest you’d ever come from your own hand, harder than you’d ever come with a vibrator, almost as hard as you came with Joel deep inside you the night before. Your body throbbed with it, so much that it felt like your fingers might break as they stuffed your overwrought pussy full. You all but sobbed as you kept working your clit, even as it was too much, fucking yourself through your own orgasm the way you knew Joel would if he were buried inside you instead of in his own fist. Once it was over, you slowly, gently, pulled your hand away from your dripping slit. 
“Fucking hell, Beautiful,” he said after a minute, still trying to catch his breath. You smiled and laughed a little. “Christ, I hope Sarah didn’t hear that.” 
“You stayed a lot quieter than me,” you were whispering again. It was fun to whisper into the phone with him, like you were going behind your parents’ backs with it. 
“Still,” he said before he sighed. “I gotta go clean up, you made me make a hell of a mess.” 
“You’re one to talk,” you smirked a little, looking at the slick gathered on your fingers. 
“Can I text you tomorrow while you’re at work?” He asked quietly. “Something tells me I’m gonna miss you like crazy.” 
“Course,” you smiled, settling down into your mattress. “Text me whenever you want, I always want to hear from you.” 
Maybe it was the post-orgasm haze but you didn’t care that it sounded desperate. 
“Good,” he said. “Because hearin’ from you always makes my damn day.” 
You smiled at that. 
“Miss you, Beautiful.” 
You smiled bigger. 
“Miss you, too.” 
Next Chapter
A/N: Awww doubt is creeping in and they're still fucking each other's brains out from afar.
We love to see it!
Thank you so much for following along with this story! These two are so fun to write and I hope you're enjoying their journey. Love you all!
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honeyatsu · 11 months ago
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Loner 4 (Junpei x Reader)
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PREV | Masterlist
TW: mention of suicide
a/n:
Hiiii ~ T_T it's been so long since i've written lol! I am sorry if its not good....im kinda rusty! I found this draft after trying to fix my laptop and going thru my things....I figured why not finish it!!! :D I loved working on this fic even tho the only thing done is the outline/draft...i missed writing so im just getting back into a hobby I once loved again ((: I am sooo sorry if my writing style is no longer enjoyable lol but only way to get better after a too long break is to keep writing :D !!!
You decide to take matters into your own hands when Junpei doesn’t return to school the next two weeks – literally.
If the empty desk next to you and continuous lonely lunches weren’t offensive enough, he had the audacity to not even open your texts anymore. Leaving your texts on delivered as opposed to the checked read notification you would often see desperately checking your phone at the end of the day, along with sending your calls straight to voicemail. Sometimes you think you would feel less offended if he just blocked you.
So, you generously speak to your school advisor, showing concern in your friends’ absence and inevitable fate of falling behind – you offer to take his missing work to him and help him catch up, not a complete lie. You weren’t one to be ghosted— ever. A shot to your ego mixed with a concern of your best friend, you decided if he was going to ignore you, you would just go to him. Even if it meant getting his address through the school, no matter how creepy it sounded, whatever context you would put it in.
“Are you taking those to Junpei?” you turn to see your underclassman and teammate, Ino, staring at you with her large doe hazel-eyes, her naturally flushed cheeks spreading from one corner of her face to another.
Cute, Ino was cute. You offer her a simple nod, the white pages your fingers were buried under slightly slipping from your grip, Ino catching it, leaning it towards you again before they could fall. “Do you want me to come and help?” Her tone was sincere and kind, you could say her voice was almost as angelic as her face.
Your stomach churned, body becoming stiff as she stood in front of you, batting her doe-eyes at you with a smile. She annoyed you.
“It’s fine. Gotta go.” You mutter, gripping onto the folders and sheets tightly, speeding your way past her.
It’s lively here, the area you need to walk through in order to get to his home. There are students, chatting, taking up the streets and shops as they lounge around after school. When you walked passed Tatsu Ramen, you tried to not let the bitterness linger around, seeing familiar (yet not so friendly) faces eating there. You flick your tongue against your teeth, wondering if Junpei decided to finally stop ignoring you, where would you two go now. You try to avoid them, quickly shuffling past them, using the stack to cover your face.
The walk wasn’t a short one, nor a long one. It was far enough to make your ankles ache, holding onto the heavy workload – you weren’t sure if you felt bad for the missing work he was going to have to do, or the scolding you were mentally rehearsing to give him.
Either way, it was a headache he deserved, you thought.
The lecture that wasn’t ready was going to have to come sooner rather than later, as you spot him walking toward his home, his clothes baggy and even from the distance you were at, he was more relaxed than you’ve seen him ever be at school. You were at the top of a small street-hill that came before his house, the slope only aiding your speed as you ran towards him, shouting his name, gripping the folder and paperwork that were fighting to slip through your hands.
The closer you get to him, the sloppier your moves are, your nerves reaching all the way to the tip of your toes, the crack on the street not helping as you trip over it. Junpei’s arms reaches out, stopping you from falling into his chest with both hands placed on your shoulder. You stare him in the eye, chest heaving and breath loud and messy, you don’t care that you’re practically blowing your breath into his face. Seeing him felt like seeing a ghost — but seeing his wide eyes turn into a small scowl felt like seeing a ghost who just punched you in the chest.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes squinting as he observed the piles of work placed on your hand. He scoffs at the sight.
“You’re not in the right to ask questions! Do you even know how a phone works?” you huff out, trying to catch your breath and put your adrenaline at ease.
A look of shame left as quickly as it came as he let go of you giving you a slight shove, his lips pouting as he faced the opposite direction of your face, “Don’t tell me you’re here because you’re worried about my coursework.”
“Well, for us to graduate together, you kind of need to pass. I just thought I’d do you a favor.” Your lower your arms to remove the work that was covering half of your face, displaying your frown even though he was refusing to look at you. You take a deep breath as you contemplate your next sentence. “Plus, I was wo –”
“Us? There is no us,” You were interrupted anyways.
Your mouth opens but no words come out, Junpei finally turns to you. Looking into your eyes, challenging you, just daring you to say something next. You feel the heat of embarrassment rise to your cheeks – or maybe it’s anger, you weren’t exactly sure how you felt at the moment. At the sight of someone who was supposed to be your best friend staring at you with such disgust, almost as if he regretted getting to know you at all.
“You’re all the same.” He started out. His eyes never left yours. “Did you know we’ve gone to the same school for years? By chance you finally noticed me, and because you were too afraid to sit in the front. You think that makes us friends?” His dark gaze was going right through you, burning. The tension couldn’t be cut with a knife as he tried reading you, scanning you for any reaction.
You give him one, taking a slight step back, mouth thinned. You’re still holding on to the stack of papers, crumpling them between your fingers. He waits for you to reply, but you don’t.
“That’s not what bothers me. Your friends, they’ve been picking on me for years. How are you just now noticing? What – because you think we’re friends you finally think I’m worthy of being saved?” He gives a dry, coarse laugh. “You’re no different from the rest. You think you are, because you became friends with poor Junpei, right? You finally decide not to turn a blind eye, barley. The same way everyone else pretends to not notice, you did too! You let them get away with it. It’s not just me that gets picked on! And unless they’re your friends, unless they’re worthy of kindness, you just let them! Everyone does! Teachers, other students, you!”
You don’t dare to speak; you simply shove the assignments to his arms. You don’t look up, you don’t want him to see your lips quiver at his words – you don’t want him to see you fighting to keep your eyes dry, fighting to tune him out. Your attempts fail you, feeling your own wet lashes against your cheek, a single, suppressed tear managing to escape.
“I never needed you. I never needed your pity, I never needed you to save me!”
Of course, he’s mad at you. You don’t know what you did, but you figure that you abandoning him when there was something clearly wrong the other day had something to do with it. You knew something was wrong, yet you still left. And you feel guilty, so guilty for being such a bad friend, just like he says. You feel guilty, thinking that you could just march to him when you’re the one who is in the wrong. You weren’t a good friend, and Junpei knew his worth. You were convinced you were in the right, that it was okay for you to be mad at your friend for abandoning you, but you abandoned him first. You’re ready to turn your heel, turn back and leave him alone for good, and you almost do.
Almost.
“What’s going on here?” A strong voice asked from behind you. You turned your head to be met with a tall slender woman, short black hair, and holding a cigarette in her left hand.
His tone changes, along with his facial expression. His eyebrow twitches when he realizes who has arrived (at the worst possible time, for him); It did not take you necessarily long to realize who she was, her and Junpei practically sharing the same face. If you weren’t so hurt and angry, you could imagine how humiliated you would feel. Weeks of begging Junpei to let you come over, introduce you to his family — and here you are, face to face with the woman who brought your favorite person into this world (even if he was being an ass right now); snotty nosed, eyes glossy, and an ugly tight facial expression because no, you didn’t want him to see you cry.
“She’s bringing my missing work, just a classmate–”
You cut him off, introducing yourself by giving your name, “I’m his best friend.” you snuck in, bowing to his mother while grabbing a work folder, pointing to it. “I brought his classwork. And being honest, I was concerned. I wanted to see for myself that he was okay.” Considering the fact that he seemed to forget how to use his phone and turned into an asshole, you thought to yourself, but you knew to leave that thought to yourself, not wanting to push any of his mother’s buttons, determined to make a good first impression.
“The ramen girl?”
Your eyebrow twitches, turning to Junpei. It almost shocks you, how after his speech of how cruel he tried to make you out to be, this is what offends you. “Your mother knows me as…. the ramen girl?” Junpei stares at you in disinterest and shrugs.
“It’s not often I get to meet a friend, let alone a best friend.” She grins in amusement, “Do you wanna come in and help him catch up with work?”
“Mom, not necessary.” Junpei mutters quietly.
“It wouldn’t be a problem at all!” You chirped in response, grinning from ear to ear as you follow them into their home, ignoring Junpei’s face twisted in irritation.
Their home is welcoming, fit for a small family of two. His mother (you find out her name is Nagi), goes straight to her fridge, taking out a bottle of beer while settling on her counter.
“I appreciate you doing this for him. I understand school isn’t for everyone and honestly, it isn’t as big as you kids make it seem. “ She takes a sip of her beer before continuing, “but I would be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate this. Or you. I’m just glad I finally got to meet the girl who’s worked wonders you’re not even aware of.”
The praise makes you flush — your body heating up. You swiftly look towards Junpei’s direction, seeing his face tinted red, from his cheeks to the tip of his ears. He was avoiding his mothers gaze along with yours, looking to the side and pouting, arms crossed. He looked like an angry toddler, and you would laugh, normally — if you didn’t feel he hated you at this moment.
“ — Oh, I’m sorry, am I keeping you guys waiting?” His mother replies with a grin, “You’re free to go on, help your best friend catch up on his work!” She takes both of you, leading your way to his bedroom with her palm on both backs, lightly shoving you through the door.
Junpei is standing beside you, sheepishly, his guilt showering his face as he sees you softly close the door behind you and fist your palms as a way to calm yourself down. You’re nervous, and you can tell he is too, the blush never leaving his face. And as awkward and unpredictable this current situation is (meeting his mom in the middle of a fight and having her throw you into his bedroom, awkward is an understatement), you still know there are things you need to talk about. You slowly take a few steps towards him, each step causing you to take a deep breath before you trap him in a tight hug.
“I should’ve been a better friend.” You mutter into his chest. Still holding onto him, you look up at him and nearly laugh at his surprised expression. “Please don’t think you don’t matter to me. Or that I feel bad for you. I mean – ouch – because of how you judge my character. You are my friend. I care about you, a lot. And I’m sorry for making you feel otherwise.”
The gold locket you usually kept hidden in your shirt was brought out, it felt so delicate in between your fingers, but the feelings and memories with what was inside laid heavy in your heart. You took one last, slow, deep breath before you opened the heart-chapped locket, revealing the photo of your deceased father. “He was bullied at work. My dad. They treated him horribly, told him he wasn’t worthy of being man of the house, or something like that.”
Don’t cry, You try to tell yourself, don’t cry.
“Well, one day it all got to him. And he decided it was easier to leave me and my mom, than to ‘burden us with his pathetic excuse of a husband and father’. At least that’s what he said in the letter. If he asked me, I would’ve said he was great.”
You sigh, closing up the locket and placing it back into your shirt, “I should’ve paid more attention, you’re right. No one wants to believe people are bad, or people with hearts can be capable of being so cruel. I always thought people were just people when my dad died. When I read his note, it was so sad. Life seemed so dimmed in his perspective. I guess I didn’t want to experience my life like that, I became ignorant to those around me, especially my shitty friends. I was around bullies and was too dumb to even see it.”
Your arms quickly found their way around his waist, bringing your head to his chest and looking up at him, the small tears that still haven’t fallen glistening in between your eyelashes. “What I’m trying to say with all of this is, I’m sorry. I understand what they do is fucked up, and I’m sorry for just staying silent. My ignorance isn’t an excuse, it was never okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you. And I’m not enabling those friendships any longer. You’re my friend Junpei, I care about you.”
Junpei wraps his arms around you, pressing his body tightly against yours. He would’ve never guessed you felt as bad as you did — he would have never imagined you having to go through something so tragic, yet remained so strong, so willing, so vulnerable to the world around you.
It’s silent, the forgiveness that’s communicated between the two of you. After the embrace you look up at him, your eyes still glistening but your smile turns into a small curve, your teeth slightly showing before you start giggling, hitting his chest. He follows you after — laughing at how vulnerable and serious you two were with one another, and he’s happy, because this is new. He hasn’t experienced a true friendship, a falling out, or making up after, being vulnerable.
The next few hours are peaceful as you two sit sprawled out on his bed with the textbooks and folders with weeks worth of school work. You promised to help catch him up as long as he promised to stop skipping class and ignoring you, especially during times he needs people most.
Junpei spends five minutes staring at a problem, not quite understanding what he was supposed to do. He calls your name for help, but you don’t respond. “I really need help right now,” he states, bringing his attention to you, lifting his eyes to meet yours; His eyes softened at the view in front of him, the world around you became a blur — you being the focus point, the soft beating his heart slowly becoming rapid, his body becoming flushed seeing you laid across his bed, your mouth agape and slight drool dripping from the side. He stares and thinks to himself, he’s always thought you were pretty, but this would have to be the prettiest he’s seen you.
He slowly lifts himself off the bed, tip-toeing around to make sure he doesn’t make the slightest noise while going to your side, being sure to not wake you from your sleep.
Junpei takes your leg that was hanging from the edge and takes the piles of work spread across his bed and neatly places them onto his desk, sitting beside your sleeping figure and taking his blanket, covering your body. He then lays beside you, on top of the covers so there is a barrier between the two of you. His eyes trace the shape of your body, looking at the little details and appreciating every blemish, every texture, every line on your face. Without even realizing he brought his face closer to yours, in awe at how at peace you look laying beside him after all he’s put you through.
He takes a moment, taking in a deep breath as he decides to swallow his pride, whispering an apology.
And to his surprise, he hears you accept his apology faintly, right before your quiet snores echo around the room. He smiles at the sight, laying down besides you
As you two fell asleep with one beside one another, close but not close enough, his mother barged in, holding a tray of tea, about to offer some until she noticed the sight before her.
She then smiled to herself, wanting to wake you guys up, or just take a picture to tease you two with it later. She decides to let you two have this moment, because something tells her there would be more to come.
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
When winter comes, it comes quietly — the snow falling sneaking up on the world, the same way your feelings for Junpei seemed to. You don’t exactly remember when his presence alone would have your heart beating out of your chest, you don’t remember when you would feel heat rise in your face when he would give you a simple compliment, but it made you uneasy — and confused. Because he was your friend, later on you realized that these physical setbacks weren’t supposed to happen around your friend.
Your friendship with Junpei slowly got better, it was like starting from square one, but he got comfortable fast — you’d say things were getting to how they once were, but you’d argue that they were better. Junpei smiled more, he laughed more, he even got bold and would initiate physical contact with you. It should make you happy, that he has become more open, more willing to shed his light not only to you, but others as well. He developed a better friendship with his club members, he even started to acknowledge people that even shocked you, and it should make you happy.
It should.
One moment you’re urging Junpei to smile more. He’s president of a club filled with classmates with the same interests as him, you jokingly tell him if he can handle being your friend he should have no problem making more. One moment you’re skipping down the halls, holding a bag with a surprise for him – a gift, there was no special event coming up, but you saw the item and thought of him. One moment you’re excited to start off his day with one of his warm laughs, and wide smile you’ve come to adore – and now, you’re trying to be still as your legs wobble, witnessing something that makes your stomach turn in discomfort.
Junpei is laughing – an honest, joyful, (almost too joyful) laugh. The gift bag almost drops to the ground, but you gripped it tightly as it nearly slipped out of your palms, your jaw suddenly tensed up, and you feel like even blinking would be impossible. His eyes are practically glistening as he looks down at the pink hair, doe-eyed girl you knew all too well. She looks up at him, reaching towards his upper left arm, grabbing it after giggling something you couldn’t make out to him. Junpei doesn’t flinch, in fact, he doesn’t react at all. He accepts her physical touch as if it was the most natural thing to him, and something in you bursts. It was as if a fire was casted in your chest, as if the devil himself pushed you far enough to run into Junpei’s back, nearly pushing him further into Ino if you weren’t able to catch the back of his school shirt before he got a chance to fall.
Before you realize what you’ve done, you feel Ino’s large eyes on you, a curious look on her face quickly switching to her sweet smile that has the rest of the school on the palm of her hands, and Junpei looking back at you curiously. You remove your hand from his shirt, slowly bringing it to your side, you lower your gaze to the floor, gripping your gift, wishing to any god out there to have you disappear from the scene itself.
“We have things to go over, Junpei.” You try to state as calmly as possible, but it comes out bitter, a shaky voice followed by a nervous hand reaching for his wrist, not waiting for a response before you attempt to drag him to the opposite direction of Ino.
You peak over his shoulder when he doesn’t move, seeing Ino hold onto his other wrist, keeping him in place. You try to imagine how this looks to the classmates around you, Junpei in between of two classmates, both pulling him into the opposite direction. You try to imagine the amount of self control it would take to not grab one of the most popular first years by the head and drag her down the hall without it becoming a big scandal.
Your breath hitches as Ino looks you in the eye, her smile never faulting. You watch her with a blank stare, your eyes staring at her hand gripping his wrist until she drops it. When you look up she looks back at you innoccently, as if she didn’t just send you into an internal war with her. “I asked Junpei to the Lantern festival.” Ino announces, clear and to the point, her eyes staring directly into yours.
“Just…just the two of you?” You blink back, letting go of the grip you have on him. Your gaze switched from staring directly at her to Junpei, “Did you say yes?”
“No!” Ino laughs out, and it pains you to admit how melodic it was, how you get why Junpei is so comfortable with someone he barely knows. “Chifuyu and Hori are coming. I didn’t want to be the only girl, so I asked Junpei to come along with you. You know them right? They’re in your art classes.”
“I’d like to go.” Junpei states softly. You try not to glare at him, huffing to yourself as you mutter back “whatever.” You pull Junpei rougher, which leads Ino to let go as you drag him into the empty art club room.
The room is silent for the first few minutes. The sound of you ruffling through your bag to get things out and place them onto the desk is the only thing that echoes through the room. The two of you avoid eyecontact with one another – Junpei looking at anywhere but you while playing with his hands, you take out pictures you’ve printed, sprawling them across the desk, neatly lining them up to one another.
A majority of them were selfies of the two of you. If the air around the two of you wasn’t as heavy due to the last encounter, you probably would’ve smiled – chuckled, even. These photos were the visual documenting of the friendship the two of you shared, a visual timeline of seeing his comfortablility with you. From looking awkwardly at the camera (you were lucky if you even got a smile), to some blurry pictures of him shying away, they blossomed into him
“You know,” you started off, pretending to look into the pictures as if you were inspecting them, “When I said you should show the more open side of you more often….I didn’t think you’d do it so easily. Especially with other girls.” You try to sound nonchalant. You try to make it sound like a friend teasing another one.
“I – I just,”
“It’s not a problem. It’s just crazy. Lookin’ at these pictures, y’know? How long it took you to get comfortable with me but you talk to Ino as if you’ve known her for years.” You don’t know what you’re implying or why you’re implying anything at all – Junpei is just your friend and it’s not not fair to act like you own him, that you’re the only girl in the world he should be laughing with.
It shouldn’t bother you that he’s getting more social thanks to his friendship with you. This should be a happy moment. But you can’t help the way the memory of him laughing so easily with her causes your skin to burn, or the heavy fall you felt in your chest when you saw Ino’s hand touch him. The red flush that spread around his face didn’t make it better either.
“I feel like I should say sorry.” Junpei admits, “But I don’t know why I’m apologizing.”
“You don’t need to.” You mumble to yourself, still refusing to look up at him. You sigh as you’re shuffling through the pictures, none of them working for you. The selfies themselves were nice, two friends just savoring memories with one another. Staring at them all heeds the realization that these pictures were nothing but mere proof of your friendship with one another, the word friends sitting grudgingly in your mind. “None of these are good enough.”
You feel Junpei tower over you, his eyes similarly scanning the photos you’ve laid out. He brings his arm out, it hovers over you, lighty grazing your shoulder as he grabs a photo that’s caught his eye. Your breath hitches when his chest presses up against your back due to the movement – your body freezing, this physical contact alone having your breath to become uneasy, using every ounce of your strength to not lose the balance onto your legs. Hesitantly, you turn your head to look up at him, his dark eyes glistening, staring at what he’s just picked up with nothing less than stars in his eyes. He brings the picture closer to him, unintentionally wrapping his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
Your eyes shift towards the picture he’s holding. It's one of the first ones where he actually felt comfortable enough to look into the camera and smile, his arm wrapped around yours and a peace sign being held up to the side of your face. Your gaze landing on him once again, you tell yourself not to overthink the small grin spread on his face, the red tint that’s just barely making itself visible to you. If you weren’t in such close proximity to him, truthfully, you wouldn’t have even noticed.
“Can I keep this one?” Junpei barely whispers to you. He looks down at you for approval, eyes widening at how close your face has gotten to his. He looks down, noticing it was him who has pressed himself to you, and quickly looks back up into your eyes – face growing redder the more you two look into each other's eyes. You imagine the two of you share the same expression, a mix of being flustered and afraid. His arm wrapped around you stays frozen, afriad that moving would bring you closer or bring your bodies farther from one another. Junpei was unsure which one made him the most uneasy between the two.
Neither of you are sure who brought their face closer to the other, his nose touching yours being the only indication that the two of you were even moving. The quiet room wasn’t silent enough, the beating in your chest too loud for your comfort, convinced that Junpei could hear the way he was making your heart jump. Attempting to break the ice, you open your mouth, closing it just as quickly when you see Junpei scanning your face, his eyes landing on your lips. He tenses up, watching the way it closes and seeing your lips subtly pout.
Seeing Junpei watch you with so much want, feeling his chest rise and fall unevenly on your back, this whole situation became overwhelming for you. Here you stand, a few moments ago trying to rid yourself of the jealousy that was clouding your mind, to now find yourself trapped against him. As close as you two are, it still doesn’t feel close enough. You slightly look away, overwhelmed. Noticing in the corner of your eye the gold sparkly bag making itself noticeable to you on the tabl besides the one with all the pictures.
Whether you were even looking for an escape from the situation or not, you took it, quickly removing yourself from Junpei’s hold. Your cheeks heat up as you shuffle yourself away from him, quickly turning and grabbing the gift back. A deep breath escapes your lips as you turn to him, ignoring the look of rejection spread across his face. You chuckle awkwardly, lifting your arms straight and pushing the bag into his chest.
“I got you something.” You announce too quickly, the sentence almost sounding like one word mushed together. Junpei blinks as he stares at the bag, hesitantly grabbing it and removing it from your hold. Whatever confusing feeling he had left for the time being as he opens it, pulling out the movie Killer Klowns From Outter Space disk.
“I thought you hated this movie.”
“I do. That’s why I’m giving it to you. You can keep it, you said it was hard to find a copy. My mom was gonna toss it anyway.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. It was my dads. I would rather give it to someone who matters to me just as much than just throw it out.”
Junpei smiles, a soft “Thank you” leaving his lips while he pulls you in for a hug. You can’t move for a moment – nor speak. Just leaving one awkward situation where your bodies were almost too close for comfort right into another one. You slowly wrap both your arms around him, feeling his grip on you tighten.
While it no longer feels awkward, to deny you felt anything other than your stomach doing flips and feeling so at ease in his grip all at once would be a lie.
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llyfrenfys · 11 months ago
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Sooner or later I've gotta make a better post regarding the appropriation of indigenous terminology by proponents of (certain kinds of) Welsh nationalism. But for now here's a very whistle-stop version of that post. I have a degree in Celtic Studies so these topics are very near and dear to my heart.
[Note: I wrote this post originally during a migraine. I'm revisiting the draft while I'm ill but hopefully can fix this up into something somewhat understandable. As always, this is only a very brief description of the history and I strongly reccomend reading about these topics in your own time to develop a deeper understanding of them. These are topics not even well known in Britain, but if you can spend a short time just to read this, you can help to combat misinformation about British (particularly Welsh) history - and that could aid in preventing the misappropriation of history in the long run. Diolch eto for reading!]
Very often, (certain) Welsh nationalists use terminology that positions the Welsh as if they are an 'indigenous' population who have been 'colonised'. They use language (which in this climate) heavily draws upon the language typically used for peoples who are the victims of British colonialism (of which Wales was an active participant). There's multiple issues with this and many of them lie in whether its appropriate to use this language (regardless of its accuracy or not) as a country which was actively involved in the colonisation of much of the world. What I mean in short is that additional language is needed which doesn't step on the toes of endangered cultures and groups directly affected by British colonialism.
Wales not only participated in British colonialism as a whole (alongside Scotland, Ireland* and England) but itself colonised parts of patagonia in Argentina.
I can't think of any similar terminology to 'indigenous' or 'colonised' which would also get the idea which is meant across. 'Native' in certain contexts is permissible, e.g. 'native speaker' in the context of a Welsh speaker. But in other contexts other than langauge, things get tricky when you argue 'nativeness' (this is a topic I will come back to - especially re. Celtic as a language descriptor vs Celtic as a so-called ethnicity). When (certain) Welsh nationalists talk about being 'indigenous' , being 'native' or 'colonised' what is meant by that?
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(Map of the expansion of the Bronze Age Bell Beaker culture circa 2400 BC in Britain and Ireland) - from this map
What makes a Welsh person 'indigenous' to this island that doesn't immediately disqualify other peoples who also have a deep history here? Historically, the island of Britain has been lived on by many, many peoples.
In the Bronze Age you had the arrival of the Bell Beaker people. Then in the Iron-Age, you had tribes speaking (mostly) Brittonic. I say mostly, because we have direct evidence that in the Iron Age Gaulish speaking tribes also moved to parts of Britain but later became integrated with the rest of the population (which, I will add, were not a united peoples but a scattering of different groups who often went to war against each other). Then the Romans invaded Britain (and much of Western Europe) and over time integrated into the local population. So now Britain is Romano-British. Eventually the Western Roman Empire collapses and Britain enters into the sub-Roman Britain phase of its existence. Kingdoms begin to form, with the population speaking Brittonic and British-Latin. So you have different kingdoms in (what would become Wales) and in (what would become Northern England and Southern Scotland) you have more Brittonic-speaking kingdoms.
These kingdoms were also not a united peoples. They shared a language - but it's like claiming that Ancient Greeks were a united people simply because they all spoke Greek. Sparta, Athens, Cornith etc. were independent of each other and the same is true of the kingdoms of the Hen Ogledd (the Old North) and the kingdoms of Wales. They all had a common language but also went to war with each other sometimes. Eventually, the Brittonic language began to diverge into different languages. Namely, Old Welsh and Cumbric (the language spoken in what is today Cumbria, Lancashire, Northumberland and Southern Scotland). The two languages were still very closely related but had diverged by a certain point.
At the same time this is happening, Anglo-Saxons begin to arrive in what is now Kent. They form kingdoms and the Britons living there are either displaced or become absorbed into the Anglo-Saxon populace. Then the Norse rock up and conduct viking raids around the coast before finally settling in parts of the country and forming their own territories.
So now Britain has several groups living on the island (keeping in mind even before settlement from the Anglo-Saxons and the Norse that the British kingdoms were already composed of different groups themselves). Northern Scotland was also having a time re: Picts, Gaels and Britons - but we'll gloss over that for brevity. Also, Ireland was also raiding the Welsh coast at this time too.
Then the Normans rock up and in 1066 William the Conqueror, well, conquers. More history happens after this point but I will try and keep this as brief and as non-messy as I can.
So, to recap:
One of the earliest cultures in Britain was the Bell Beaker people in the Bronze Age. They had their lands settled by the Iron Age Britons ('Celts'). Then the Romans came and the 'Celts' became Romano-Britons. After the Western Roman Empire collapses the remaining population forms kingdoms with distinct political identities. These kingdoms eventually find themselves fighting the Anglo-Saxons and the Norse. Then the Normans turn up and so on and so forth.
So- which group is the original native group to Britain? (Trick question - this question cannot be satisfactorily answered in favour of one group without leaning into claims of historicity which the other groups can also claim).
Which brings me to modern Welsh identity and those who came before.
Something I see in Welsh nationalist groups is a claim to the legacy (or even claims of direct descendance from) the Iron Age Britons (commonly called Celts for shorthand, but as I said before I'm gonna get back to that point). And this narrative is what the "Welsh people are native to Britain" argument is based off of.
It may seem like #praxis to argue the Welsh people are the true inhabitants of Britain and the English are evil invaders. But you have to make *several* logical leaps to get to that point if you're genuinely arguing that point.
For starters, many more people than just the Britons (read: Romano Britons/early Brittonic kingdoms) have called Britain home since the Early Middle Ages. For example, there's the settlement of Scotland by the Gaels, the Irish settlement of certain parts of costal Wales. You have (much later) Roma and traveller groups, Jewish diaspora and many more diverse cultures and peoples existing in Britain at this time. The Romano-British population, which developed into the Early Middle Ages kingdoms of Wales and the Hen Ogledd, was also multicultural. Many black Romans started families with white Britons. By the sub-Roman period, Britain was ethnically and culturally diverse.
But those who argue in favour of a such thing as 'Celtic ethnicity' in order to support the idea Britons (and only Britons) were native to these islands typically imagine that history as white. White Brits, white Romans, white Gaels. When we know this isn't true. Did you know that the Northernmost Ancient Egyptian temple in the world is in Yorkshire because Roman Egyptians in the military brought their religion with them? Mary Beard did a fantastic documentary about a Roman Soldier from modern day Syria who was stationed at Hadrian's Wall who started a family with a British woman. Point is, that some people like to imagine a purely white Britain that they can pine for. And I'm afraid it simply isn't true. The version of history many white supremacists look to simply didn't exist.
I'll quickly bring up one last point before I draw this to a close. And it's about Celtic as a linguistic term vs Celtic as a so-called ethnicity. You see, any first year Celtic Student would tell you that there is no such thing as 'Celts'. Crazy, I know from people studying *Celtic* studies. But hear me out - there is good reasoning why (beyond language groups) Celtic is not a good term for describing an ethnic group. Much of it relates to what I've already mentioned, but we categorise Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Mann, Cornwall and Brittany as Celtic not because of the ethnicity of the people living there (which I've mentioned is pretty diverse) but because they are all places where Celtic languages are spoken. It wasn't until Edward Llwyd (d. 1709) that the term Celtic was coined to describe these languages. Up until that point, nobody was thinking of Irish and Welsh as related because the languages do not sound like they have a common origin. By extension, people didn't think of the Welsh and Irish as being the same peoples (or Celtic) either. Its only in the modern day there is a sense of Celtic identity. The Iron Age Britons were not going around calling themselves Celts. There was no common Celtic identity. But very often people argue Celticness based on a pseudohistory which insists on a false and misleading interpretation of history. Whether or not Celticness exists now is a different matter entirely. But it sure does not rest upon race or ethnicity as a qualifier. This is quite foundational stuff to first year and above Celtic Scholars, but is not generally well known outside of academia because the misinformation is quite strong. So if you read is far, diolch mawr and please share this with anyone you think might be interested in it. Any amount of knowledge of these things would greatly improve understanding of what it means to be Welsh and what it means to speak a Celtic language.
Lastly,
all of that begs us to ask the question:
What does it mean to claim nativeness in a Western European context?
More under the cut
What does it mean to claim nativeness in a Western European context? Especially in a Western Europe post-colonialism.
It means, to me, to claim what isn't our right to claim. To argue and make our points with language that isn't ours and isn't designed to be ours. That this language of indigeneity may sound appealing, but is it improper to use this terminology when our country was directly responsible for the atrocities in which this very language became relevant?
What do we do in response to the misinterpretation of our culture instead of relying on language of indigeneity? These are the questions I want to leave you with and invite you to share your thoughts on. How do we build a Wales which advocates for itself without relying upon inaccurate language which betrays a reliance upon the ahistorical to make its point?
What kind of Wales do we want to live in?
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