#gotta find it sometime in the future
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
wait so you're telling me all the samples in ugly death are taken from this obscure post apocalyptic yuri ova from 2007 called ice. every sample. is that what you're telling me
#ive been putting together the storyline of ice together the entire time dude#the plot sounds wild#gotta find it sometime in the future#preferably legally#mumbo thoughts#ada rook#ugly death no redemption angel curse I love you
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
"what are you planning on doing with your life" killing myself next question!
#you think I have a future with shit education and experience?#crying rn thinking about this because i'm running out of time to find a place to live#gotta stay alive for failson but man sometimes I really wish I was dead#also. I ate too much which triggered eating disorder I genuinely need someone to kill me NYOW
148 notes
·
View notes
Text
ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok I finally finished Inquisition and… well I'll try to be brief(er... just kidding, I'm incapable of being brief) - I was interested in the story buuuuuut it was by far the least ~*fun*~ of all three for me to play, mostly because I was playing an elf and and due to dialogue choices (or lack thereof) it ended up feeling frustrating compared to previous games. knowing what I know now about the story, I really wish I'd gone with a human instead. however I enjoyed Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser quite a bit more than the base game and I'm interested in seeing what happens next!
attempting (hah) not to spend fifty paragraphs on it I'll just say that it was A Trial to try to play an elf the way I wanted to, which I expected to be able to do because I had a great time with it in Origins? it seemed like most companions reacted to me saying "hey, you know I have my own beliefs, right?" (if the game even gave me the chance to do so) with "that's cute. ANYWAY-" and I ended up spending much of the game full of resentment on behalf of my poor doomed Lavellan.
I remember a convo I had with Leliana in Origins where I was able to challenge her on her preconceptions about elves, and I'm pretty sure there were times when characters challenged me about my biases against humans, and I just thought that was very cool! but I'm struggling to think of any times where that happened in Inquisition… it felt like it was written very shallowly with the ability to play a non-Andrastian/non-human, and that was… uh. frustrating.
my Lavellan basically knew her life as not-the-Herald was over when the camp started singing after Haven, and it never really got much better for her from there. I liked the cast of characters, but they felt more like... work friends? vs the previous two games' dysfunctional families (beloved). and the fact that Lavellan was reluctant about her role/an outsider made romances feel a bit squicky to me, because so few of the characters seemed to recognize that! I thought Josephine was adorable, but then during the balcony cutscene she called me "your worship" after I chose a flirt - despite me taking every opportunity to say I wasn't sure I was divinely chosen etc. - and I was like "welp I guess we're done with that." (I don't fault her for it because she's the ambassador and it makes sense in-character, and I still think she's adorable! but it just... felt bad.)
it's possible the dialogue options I wanted were there, I guess, just hidden behind paraphrasing? but I hhhhhate playing dialogue wheel roulette SO MUCH - I don't find it fun when it makes you sound like a real idiot or an asshole. I didn't actually want to disrespect my companions' personal beliefs (Lavellan was open-minded! she just didn't like the Chantry as an organization), and some of the "aggressive"-sounding options seemed like they would be too rude, so I avoided them unless I was really pissed off. but given how wildly the spoken line can vary from the paraphrase, maybe I should have chosen more?
(let's just say my Opinions on the Chantry - which I've seen no further evidence to revise - were cemented in Origins when the dude in Orzammar asked me, an obviously Dalish elf, to help him build a chantry and convert dwarves. I am a perennial and compulsive quest-completer, but I purposefully abandoned that quest with great prejudice. which is literally the first time I've ever done that in any game. so.)
then there were a bunch of gameplay/technical things that were small when looked at individually but when piled together with that lingering feeling of resentment just made the experience feel like a chore.
OH and as much as I personally love Morrigan, Lavellan was getting reallllll annoyed at having her human-splain Dalish culture in the temple. my face was basically a permanent >:[ for that whole section. (I don't care if the Dalish are "wrong" about their history - my character still would have at least known who Mythal was. and not asked about it. like an idiot.) partially for this reason I did not hesitate to have Lavellan do a cannonball into the well, good idea or not lmao.
also. I didn't even get a puppy this time. Cullen got a puppy. why didn't I get a puppy?! couldn't even let me summon a wolf like in Origins? uncool.
I think Cassandra (and her [disgusted noise]s) and Dorian were my favorites. (Dorian was the other person I flirted with, which obviously didn't work out for me for a different reason than Josephine lmao, but I appreciated that it let me say "no hard feelings/we can keep flirting" and then the game actually carried through with continuing to give me flirt options. perhaps I felt like Lavellan could bond a bit with him being an outsider too, and I loved the end slides in Trespasser that said they communicated all the time through a crystal awwww that's cute.)
all that said I had fun playing Jaws of Hakkon and Trespasser. I was very interested in all the spirit stuff with the Avvar, VINDICATIONNNNN learning that Ameridan was both an elf and a mage, and of course learning more about Solas/what is actually going on with the history of the elves. (The Descent started out interesting and I was excited because dwarves! more dwarves yay! gimme the dwarf lore!!! but I felt like it just sort of fizzled out at the end? and it felt weird to just say "ok cool see ya never probably" to Valta and just... not follow up on anything? also I hated the final boss even on super easy baby mode. T_T)
I angrily disbanded the Inquisition and gave a big middle finger (singular since I only have one left *pffff*) to Orlais/Ferelden/the Chantry, which was somewhat satisfying.
it probably would have been a less depressing experience if I had played as an at-least-marginally-Andrastian human… but. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well. and even though I knew there was Something Up with Solas I didn't know exactly what so it was fun finding that out along with my character. (I made a lot of decisions that he agreed with so we were good friends - or I thought we were - and I felt like the final confrontation was quite impactful, and it was satisfying to say "watch out because I'm coming to stop you.") I do think having my Warden and Inquisitor both be Dalish makes for an interesting perspective on the elf stuff.
#while i didn't find it exactly a delight to *play* that's not to say i hated it or anything#it was more like... the first two were: “what terrible stuff am i dealing with today?! 😆”#and inquisition was: “what terrible stuff am i dealing with today 😞”#i have irl baggage with like... churches... and playing an elf non-believer was too much of a parallel for me to have a *fun* time i guess#i'd be interested to play it again from another character perspective but the thought makes me a bit faint. sometime in the future. maybe#gotta say 2 was my favorite! it was smaller but in a way that felt good (despite the repeated maps - those were admittedly rough)#and origins was my second favorite - i definitely feel like i could replay both of them soonish without feeling (too) exhausted#the problem would be convincing myself to make different choices...#elle plays da#also thank god i am BACK HOME
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh now that I have mad new followers, y’all should go check out @blorbo-posting , side blog I made.
wanted a blog that just reblogged posts that could be about a character/oc, stuff you might see your mutuals tagging with a character name. type of blog you follow to see more posts that make you think of your favorite characters so YOU could tag posts with their names. couldn’t find one so I made one 👍
only really serves its function of being that blog I wasn’t able to find for anyone looking for a similar thing if I talk about it every now and again so. this is me doing that.
#having a blog that’s all reblogs means it can’t gain followers the normal way#where your posts make the rounds and people check you out#so I gotta spread the word ya know?#or else future hannahs looking for a blog like this won’t be able to find it#not that the tumblr search function is doing them any favors :-|#hannah talks sometimes#n e wayz. go check it out! and feel free to reblog this if you think your followers might like this type of thing
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
brb gotta strangle a scientist from 100 years ago for making my life slightly inconvenient
#sometimes its only 50 years but either way this is a near constant emotion when i am doing my work#... but i do like it.#BTW im mad because this guy is writing down hypodigms for his weird new inconclusive subspecies' of camels based on some teeth and#i guess IM the one who gets to catalogue that he did this and record it in the database. nearly 100 years into the future#and because hes doing hypodigms i gotta list like dozens of fucking specimens (which might not even have the same numbers anymore! yippie!)#not actually mad i just find the mechanics of academia funny. guy does a good job and writes down his work 100 years ago and it sets off#a chain reaction that concludes with me buying some monster energy cans because i need to work late on this lmao
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#tag talk#fuck. I might just be a straight woman.#like. I like men. and the more I transition the more I vibe with binary womanhood.#sure I don't like getting shoved into restrictive femininity. but I vibe with womanhood as separate from femininity.#anyway. I might be straight. and In ten years it's very possible that being trans becomes a much less huge part of my life#because it will stop being something that I do and something that I wish for and simply something that I am#yeah yeah whatever hi my name is Reggie and I like men#I just. as much as I don't like certain restrictive gender roles I find myself slotting very comfortably into others#and I realize that my idea of gender and their roles was very much shaped by my female role models growing up#and a lot of the disconnect and distress when growing up was due to not being able to follow the path everyone else did.#all my girl friends were growing up into women and I was stuck on the man track.#and being gay was the closest I could get to being myself#but I'm closer than I've ever been before to being able to live my truth as myself#still not gonna shave my legs unless it's sometime in the future for a very specific event.#I like them fuzzy. they make me feel cool.#I like having some cultural masculinity still. I just don't want to be defined by it#talking about my binary trans experience is always a little weird because I'm aware of how binary I'm describing things#and I get that if my words were used to describe someone else's experience it might end up sounding hella transphobic#but these words are for me. they're my experience. they're my life not someone else's.#and this is how my identity works.#it's like how feminism protects the right of trad wives to be trad wives.#we just gotta recognize that just because one woman wants to be the designated dishwasher not every woman feels that way.#anyway. I might be dating a guy by this time next week. he's cool so far and we kinda got match-made by a mutual friend#we watched Redline tonight and it's hella good#he's really cool but I feel like I've got something to provide and to bring to the relationship. so we're still on peer-level I think.#which is new. usually I'm way ahead of the other person. maybe my fault for fishing in the bad fish barrel#the emotionally damaged and burdened fish barrel.
3 notes
·
View notes
Photo
💧 Introducing Drizzle!
A FNAF SB axolotl-based OC I’ve been working on for a while for fun.
What do you do when the company that houses animatronics becomes seen in a bad light for having a history of their buildings burning down and it finally starts effecting sales?
Create an animatronic to quell the fears of the public, excuse away health officials and have them on hand to (hopefully) prevent anymore fires of course!
⭐ Character notes Below! ⭐
💧 Drizzle goes by He/Him or they/them
💧 A literal hydration bot
💧 Official designation is as the ‘Water-Tank Attendant’ while also being the on-site fire prevention unit.
💧 He cares for and provides water for the new Drizzle-supported watercoolers that were added to provide drinking water to guests (more-so because someone in management wanted to solve the fire problem, public appearance and hydration issues in one fell swoop while also adding a new character to sell merch).
💧 His other designation is as an acting on-site fire prevention unit, he has fine clumps of fibers on his ‘ears’ (the place for a normal axolotl would class as gills), that detect things such as air pressure, humidity, temperature, etc.
💧 Can shoot water from his hands (He may or many not have accidently shot Moon in the face once after Moon snuck up behind him on his wire while he had calibration issues and had to later sit in time-out for 10 minutes per Moon’s demand.)
💧 Very heavy in weight when transporting a lot of water between jobs (and should probably avoid stepping on anything light)
💧 Often found in sleep-mode either nearby a water cooler or within the Daycare when not working/needing a recharge. Being a regular visitor, he’s befriended some of the regular kids there.
💧 Ears move along with is expressions
💧 His arms, ears, etc, move via ball joints
------------------------------
Been working on this guy for some time and thought I’d pop him on here! I’ve got a few things plotted story wise but not sure how much of it will get posted just yet.
#aquadoodles#my art#oc#fnaf oc#Drizzle OC#*shows you oc doodles like how cat owners show you pictures of their cats*#may update this sometime in the future#posting this before I find something else I feel I gotta edit aksjdkaf#I got a bunch of things I haven't mentioned yet since he's been bouncing around in my head with sun and moon like the dvd logo#the temptation to make him in 3D just to figure out his joints movements is strong#wait-do I tag this as a long post? uhh#fnaf oc au
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
Ignore
#delete later#am i wildly researching where i may end up living at 2am awake bc of pain? yes. should i be? absolutely not#theres a dry spell of properties and obvs i know itll improve again but eurgh. there were some nice places that have gone abd now theyre al#student accommodation and im not doing that. that isnt me seeing students as below me i just cant function in a shared#place with strangers. i will lose it and stop functioning. im just. stressed. and i can't do anything bc im in pain so thw stress is just#sitting there#its. having a chronic health condition that can get worse seemingly randomly sucks. how can i plan for anything. my current fear#is how can i view places to live if i cant leave the flat. my hands will improve but if im not carefil they will keep flaring up#but tine doesn't wait for health to stabilise. im just tired of it all. i need to future plan but whats tge point when idek#when I'm next gonna be able to go outside without fucking myself up. im gonna have to bc i feel so fucking claustrophobic rn#im having a pity party. i gotta sometimes. just. kinda miserable. i hate being in limbo. on the upside all friends gifts arrived. gonna try#figure out how to wrap them one handed. or find a bag. we'll see which i can do lol. feel kinda bad ive just been like hiding for the#past couple weeks but im in pain. not much to be done abd i need ro frequently lie down and just control my breathing#not conducive to fun. its 2am i need to sleep. i hurt#i know im whining a bunch lately. ahit just is. overwhelming and deeply upsetting. and im in too much pain to do anything but#lie here and think about it. and that sucks
1 note
·
View note
Text
I need to update RE's design soon. Thinking about how his prosthetic should work
#he's got a futuristic arm but he deliberately asked for an older model he didn't want anything crazy#so its got to like. have more future-y elements but also leave something to be desired#i think I'm getting somewhere#the way it connects to his remaining limb is sort of a magnet clip thing#which means he is pretty committed to this prosthetic bc it would require surgery to change the connector#but there's probably a handful of models that use the same/similar enough connectors#if he were to need to replace it#it also isn't the most comfortable situation by far#he tends to not wear it unless he needs 2 hands for something really bad#cuz like its heavy. it pinches a little sometimes (skin is less predictable than metal and sometimes it squishes somewhere unexpected)#its pretty responsive at least. trade off for the surgically implanted nonsense is that its pretty dexterous.#but it still gets in the way most of the time#still gotta work out the visuals more. been thinking about how the connection to his arm should look so that's a start#but i dunno what ill do at the joints yet#gonna have to check out some references for that probably. armor and robot designs and real prosthetics#find something believable enough looking and also sci fi-y
0 notes
Text
speedran through an entire situationship in less than 100 hours since meeting him and that has to be some type of world record
#hes so-#and he makes me feel so-#and we could be so -#but atleast i saved both of us a lot of hurt in the future#but also could i have not held his hand one time before i ended it?#sometimes i do dumb shit#anyway#gotta find a boyfriend now
0 notes
Text
pop !
giving them a balloon with a confession in it and running away,
premise. out of confession ideas? sick of the pile of stupid papers crumpled up on the leg of your desk? or perhaps you're just in the 'you only live life once' mindset. since the school year is ending, why not get rid of the annoying feeling of him tingling your mind? (in the form of a balloon, you never said you were gonna stick around!)
characters. all sorted by dorm
content. mc runs away after giving it, based on a tiktok I stumbled across approximately a year ago... mentions of marriage (one sign and some were speeding through the future)
note. savanaclaws part hmmm yummy
heartslabyul
unsurprisingly, riddle gets a lot of bizarre things from students and professors alike. confessions are one thing but having one in this... circular, red, full of helium balloon is certainly a surprise. creative, he'll give them that. if anything he's just confused with it in his arms as you just sort of, shove it in his arms and run away. he recognizes you easily but once cater plucks it out of his grip and shows him the message he just turns red.
trey is the type of guy to accept whatever you give him, honestly. it doesn't matter if you give him the most random of items, he'll take it without a single word of query (unless it's really questionable.) you could hand him a bottle of mustard in class, trey'll just blink and hold onto it patiently. a pair of batteries? thanks he guesses. a red, inflated balloon? he spares you a questioning glance but you're already collecting dust with how fast you ran away so he turns it and resists a smile. clearly spotting the bold letters.
the opposite of clover, cater just doesn't take anything from you unless it piques his interest or is just a casual 'hold onto this for a few' like water or something. things bordering past unusual is what he'd hesitate to take, though less given he trusts you. sometimes he doesn't take it all together simply cause he doesn't feel like it. caters probably updated on everything so when you shove the balloon in his arms and beeline he's pulling out his phone ready to scream his ass off in his dump account. (also gotta magicam this, duh.)
will most likely just dump it on the ground without another thought. or hand it back to you. ace does not care about balloons, he might even pop it in your face. that is, if you stayed for more than a second. he feels more inclined to peer further cause you ran away so fast. you looked embarrassed, and he finds out quickly why you'd proceed to never show up to his face for the following week when he spots it. stares at it dumbly for like, a minute before taking off after you... be scared ig.
added to the top ten best moments of his life note on his phone. deuce silently highlights your name on it with the same angry, red bump on his forehead because he accidentally ran into a pole midst trying to find you around the campus. he had the same idea as ace (twins) which is finding you immediately except once he read the confession he promptly lost all his braincells in the process. so he's very excited, slash embarrassed, slash shy? and can't conjure any logic cause it's just your face.
savanaclaw
jokes on you. you think he's gonna make an effort to catch your stupid balloon? leona just watches it drop to the floor. the effort is only exerted when he's absolutely sure you've run away on your slow legs, he's not bashful—not at all. maybe that's just denial speaking though. he takes one look at the balloon, and pops it with a single dig of his nail. the stare is so brief that you'd doubt if he ever read it at all, when the evidence of your apparent love is now non-existent in the physical world, very much still lingering inside him. leona comes to the predicament that he can't seem to sleep days after.
ruggie is all too familiar with the lack of appreciation some folks hold towards cheaper material gifts. like a luxury jewel, a big, shiny lil' thing ultimately rotting in the closet of some soul cause its the 'price' that counts. he spots the words easily, discerning the black ink. not entirely formed with straight lines, the keen eyes of his spots the wriggles some hold. as though whoever wrote was nervous and he bores an impish grin. (and some back corner of his closet holds no big, pricey jewel, but the deflated balloon is worth all the more to him.)
more likely to leave it on accident. after falling victim to the annoying pranks his other first year 'friends' like to do, with him as the victim apparently. he's more suspicious of it than anything, jack does not want a face full of whipped cream once again. he stares at it like it's an alien and only goes for the initiative to take it into his hands when it rolls and showcases the very bold text, highlighted and straight to the point. jack inevitably ends up accidentally popping it due to the fear that some other person probably saw it, he did not mean to wreck it. atleast not with a messy chain of thoughts, but hey. atleast he got the message...
octavinelle
well versed in catching you in a gentle manner, if you ever slipped (he definitely did not practice.) so azul's reflexes respond quick enough to capture the red little thing with ease. he recognizes it as one of your antics, and he rarely doesn't humor them since it was harmless ones that don't really get under his skin, unlike that of the tweels... the curiosity of looking forward to whatever you had far outweighed any annoyance, and great sevens he might actually combust. ("JADE PREPARE THE LOUNGE—") <- absolutely ready to initiate the plans he had detailed through a script ages ago if this were to ever happen, with a red face. ha, ha.
either clueless, or already got an idea based entirely on the adorably stiff look on your face. jade easily puts two and two together, it's quite funny because he picks it up and doesn't spare a single look. stalking off to find you immediately, and only then does he take a peek as to whatever made the balloon special, right in front of you cause apparently he's gotta witness your raw embarrassment in the flesh?
floyd is likely not interested in the ball in the first place, he thinks you want to play catch so he runs after you with a laugh that... makes you a lot more concerned. he flings it uselessly to the face of some poor soul before he sprint after you, probably traumatizing them when they spot the 'I like you' on it, and when they realize they got it from the resident terrorist whose definition of 'I like you' is 'you're entertaining, I'm gonna keep on playing with you'. (only blinks when you tell him about it, seeing as he isn't close to releasing you anytime soon from his arms.) caught you!
scarabia
sparkles, around the sun... too bright... kalim's blinding everyone else with his obvious joy. almost immediately turns it and it's clear he saw something he really liked cause he has one of those grins, really wide, showing off his teeth and his face scrunches up to the point where you could barely spot the red irises of his eyes. his lips are wobbly too! and he thought the notion was simply too cute... (so much he just had to send it back, so you could feel what he felt too!) except it comes in a hundred times balloons inside your home.
really confused. is this supposed to be a new form of comfort in the era that he hasn't caught up with yet? jamil does nothing much to stop you from running away, yeah. that's your choice but it did strike an inkling of suspicion in him. with the way you aggressively shoved the balloon in his arms before you ran away makes him think it's contents are supposed to be for him only. seeing as you collected dust with that sprint, so he brings it home. and damn, thank god he did because seven forbid if anyone else actually saw the flicker of bashfullness in his expression, hopefully not his warming ears either.
pomefiore
you try to fool him by not rushing up to him, shoving it and then speeding away for once. but instead calmly placing it in his arms and then walking away like it might be the last time yall have a friendship haha (👀) vil sees right through you either way. dare I say he thinks the whole execution is strange, he means, you could literally just walk up to him and say the exact same thing written on the balloon and he would've loved it either way but eh, atleast you got it out!
don't walk into his room cause you will probably the very prominent place the balloon has in his room. rook surprisingly did not put it on a pedestal which is tame for his nature, but it does have a place in the corner of stuff he absolutely adores. you'd think you'd spared yourself from the embarrassment of seeing his reaction cause c'mon, that was a confession. it's nerve-wracking! but NO cause you spy him outside the window of your class and suffer a heart attack (3rd floor btw)
wherever he read that, epel's jaw drops. people would mistake him as someone who escaped from a mental asylum from the way he's gaping at a balloon like he just got told vil schoenheit got canceled on magicam for some controversy (he in fact, did not.) spends so much time staring at it, and the following where he's managed to snap out of it is spent also staring off into the distance *wedding bells ringing*
ignihyde
uuuuhhhhh... either send it to him digitally or shove it inside his room and dip?? if we're going with the latter, idia doesn't even notice until like, a day after cause he's been playing for. and it isn't even him who notices!! it's ortho!!! even if he did find it he would've ignored it, but behold, ortho, who reads the text in a hilariously flat tone. idia thought his brother was professing his love until the boy reveals it was from you. (nearly falls off the chair, then actually falls when he realizes it's been a day. imagine getting ghosted irl haha)
ortho could be the delivery boy if you're too embarrassed lmao. will help you in constructing a more poetic way with words but honestly the "YOU'RE CUTE LETS DATE" gets it done. boy probably doesn't understand why you don't wanna do it yourself, and records the entire thing, reaction of the person? forwarded to you until he leaves. but now you're suffering through wanting to watch, and not because you're too pussy to actually do it.
diasomnia
what... malleus is the equivalent of '???' like he's seen a few of these unique, forms but he never got the purpose of them. so he assumes it's like, some nice gift of human traditions question mark. so he appreciates it either way, he looks content honestly which is funny cause the terrifying wizard looks kinda silly holding that balloon like it's a child. actually you should've just gave him a blank balloon cause once he spots the confession, oh honey. are you fine with early marriage?
if you can't find lilia might as well yeet the balloon in the ceiling. chances are, he's there and he's gonna catch it. there's already a cheeky smile quirking up the ends of his lips, usually he'd have some sort of retaliation on the personal attack you inflicted on his heart but oh dear, it's strangely blank. he's humming, the round thing upside down as he rubs his chin in contemplation. everyone's just scared at the echoing giggles of the already dark hallway.
an attack? AN ATTACK! unlike lilia who knows how to use the figurative words youth joke about all the time, sebek is... hilariously serious about most things, if not so much that it strikes just a teeny tiny concern in your mind. honestly you didn't take much into account, not the fact that he might consider it as an assault or something because you're already speeding away. apparently not having gotten too far cause he catches up easily and holds you up by the back of your collar like a cat. (you'd most likely have to mention the words cause all he registered was the apparent attack, when he does check he goes redder in the face and accidentally drops you. nows your chance to run!!)
*angelic voice singing* silver, my boo boo, I mean what...? felt something soft being squeezed into his arms, he knew it was you but assumed it was a pillow so he just?? used it as a pillow?? under his head now?? most folks would be confused at the sight of the sleepy guy laying on a balloon cause, one, it might pop and startle everyone in vicinity, two, there's words scribbled on it. although cut off since his head is blocking the way, but the 'LIKE YOU' is really obvious. so he wakes up, glances at it and goes back to sleep, except he couldn't cause the balloon actually popped comically the same time he absorbed it in.
#ㅤ◜◡◝ . . signed !#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland scenarios#twisted wonderland headcanons#riddle rosehearts x reader#trey clover x reader#deuce spade x reader#ace trappola x reader#cater diamond x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim x reader#idia shroud x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#malleus draconia x reader#jack howl x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#jamil viper x reader#ortho shroud x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#silver x reader
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
take me home, country road
[ao3]
You have nothing on your person apart from a hastily packed suitcase and the dress you came into town wearing, on the run from trouble back home. Too bad John's missing a bride that matches your description. Or: the 1800s (mistaken) mail order bride au (chapter 15)
first chapter >> last chapter
-
Sleep eludes you. You toss and turn that first night, not used to sleeping on your own. Every sound makes you jump. When the sky goes black and the bushes rustle with the breeze, you have to double check the locks on the doors no less than three times, fastening it with the wooden bolt just to be safe.
Without John around, the world is twice as loud; crickets chirp raucous melodies, buzzing so loud that sometimes you swear there must be one on the pillow right beside your head, and, in the distance, an owl hoots at an interval so irregular that each screech tugs you back from the brink of sleep. The house groans as it settles into itself; the first time you hear it, you spring upright in bed, heartbeat erratic, certain that it’s the sound of someone coming up the porch steps.
You collapse back onto the mattress with a huff when you finally recognize the sound for what it is.
You don’t sleep well that night. Dawn finds you awake before its arrival. The songbirds keep you from drifting off back to sleep when the first wispy rays of sunlight creep over the horizon, and you lie in bed until the possibility of sleep is well behind you. That makes you huff, bitter over the loss.
Again, the day is slow to come over you. It seems almost reluctant to really get going, the sunlight clear and the air brisk but the day itself slow moving. An early morning chill forces you to don heavier garments than usual.
After breakfast, you take Buttercup into the paddock to run around, watching her from the edge of the pen, humming to yourself under your breath.
Most of the morning is spent cleaning and doing chores around the house. You muck the stables, feed the horses, scrub the dirty laundry on the washboard before hanging it up on the line, weed the garden, and promise yourself that next week you’ll work up the energy to boil linseed oil to polish and oil the furniture. As it is, you stagger into the kitchen around midday for lunch, sticky with sweat.
Kate comes up the path on horseback not too long after that, a large swooped hat perched precariously on her head. She has to hold it in place by the brim to keep it from flying off. You watch her from the window at first, drying your hands from the quick wash you gave them after finishing your lunch.
“I ought to start making new friends,” you quip when she takes a seat next to you on the porch swing.
“Sick of my company already?” she laughs.
“Well, a girl’s gotta have options.”
She snorts at that, tipping her hat lower on her head to shade her eyes from the sun. It has the effect of cutting a wide shadow across her face, leaving only a swath of white teeth exposed.
Her beauty has always come as an afterthought. Tanned, freckled skin, and hair like golden wheat. But you look now and you see something different than the woman you’re used to seeing, and it dawns on you that what you’re seeing now is a version of Kate divorced from the idea of her that you’d always had in your head. Almost fuller; more robust.
You tear your eyes away only when she catches you staring and cocks an eyebrow.
She coaxes you into saddling Buttercup up and accompanying her on a trail ride. Part of you resists initially, still wounded from your last ride, and when Kate presses you for more information, you reluctantly divulge, recounting the events from the weeks prior with a tremble in your voice. She nods only once while you speak, keeping her comments to herself. That she must have already known doesn’t surprise you; she’d insinuated as much only the other week.
You’d be wise to not keep secrets from Kate in the future, you realize. Best to keep someone as omniscient as her on your side.
After some encouragement, she talks you into a leisurely stroll and even helps you dress Buttercup in the stables. The dizzying spell of apprehension settles over you like a heavy fog up until you blink and realize that the two of you have been riding beside each other in silence for the better part of a half mile.
The fear doesn’t entirely evaporate, however. Any sudden dip in the terrain or unexpected noise from Buttercup makes you start. You take several breaks to breathe and walk around. At the top of a hill, you ask Kate in a voice verging on shrill if you can take a break and dismount before she’s even answered you.
“She can sense if you’re on edge,” Kate reminds you, nodding to where Buttercup grazes in a nearby patch of grass.
“Well, I can’t help that much. I am on edge.”
She tips her head back to look at the sky and sighs before looking back at you. “Sit down for a bit then. It’s not a race.”
And you do, for a spell. You sit and rest with your back against the trunk of a tree that branches high above you, the canopy blotting out any sunlight save for the tendril thin strands that sink through like stones in water.
You’re striking a delicate balance between the needs of the flesh and the needs of the soul. What the soul wants is to push itself beyond the boundaries that formerly enclosed it; after a lifetime of servitude and desires suppressed, even a simple trail ride feels momentous. What the flesh wants, however, is to shade in the shade until the urge to retch wears off.
The walk takes the two of you by a farm with a large, fenced-in enclosure. A couple houses sit around the enclosure. The smell of the livestock is pungent at first and your nose wrinkles as you approach the farm, but you adjust after a time.
Recent weeks so far from home have spoiled you; back in the city, the pungent stench of waste and manure was commonplace, the sour cloak of tobacco stinking up the alehouses and alleyways as much as the parlors and lounges. You’d adjusted to it back then as well.
The grazing cows rumble and low behind the fence. It’s a pleasant bucolic scene, one lifted straight from a painting that you swear you’ve seen before, though the artist’s name escapes you.
Looking out into antediluvian pastures sets your heart at ease. When the farmer wanders out of the barn to greet the two of you, the two of you join him and his wife for coffee in the big house.
For a brief period of time, it’s like stepping out of your body; there’s no impetus to get a move on, and inertia doesn’t set in like a rolling fog leaving you stranded in no man’s land. Nothing like the late evenings lying in bed in your aunt and uncle’s apartment, staring up at the pockmarked ceiling and praying for something to change.
You, simply, have a coffee.
After bidding them farewell, the bulk of the afternoon is spent at Kate’s house, a tiny plot of land just outside of town surrounded by fields of ochre prairie grass. You’re wiped by the end of the ride, sweat running in rivulets down your back. While Kate brings the horses into her little stable to let them rest and eat, you fill up the porcelain bowl in her bathroom with water to wash your face.
It’s quiet. You help with a few affairs around the house and you learn, to your own internal amusement, that Kate hums through her chores. Soap stops by in the early evening to drop off Kate’s mail and stays for supper, glad for the company. You watch bemusedly as he scarfs down three corned beef sandwiches with ease, mildly nauseated by the way he talks with his mouth full.
“Can he even breathe?” you hiss to Kate while Soap is busy shoveling food into his gob.
She nods, unbothered by the display in front of her. “You should see him when he’s actually hungry.”
You pale when he belches, pushing your plate away from you.
“Ye tell yer man when he’s back what a good job I’ve done, Mrs. Price,” he says, licking a leaking trail of sauce off his thumb.
“Won’t the town still standing be sufficient evidence?”
“Aye, but it’s sweeter comin’ from the missus, ye dinnae think?”
Incorrigible boy. You shake your head, acquiescing even if only to get him to shut up. That mollifies him, gets him crowing about the raise he’ll get, or the commendation. You think he’ll start going on about lofty aspirations towards sheriffdom, but he never quite gets to that point. You wonder if the rest of your life will be similarly composed of assumptions that fall flat when you look at them too hard.
He takes you home at the end of the night as a favor to Kate, who watches you from the door until she disappears into the faraway. You only have to yell at Soap twice to slow down when he tries to goad you into a faster gallop.
You sleep better that night, but only just. This time, it’s the empty spot beside you on the bed that bothers you. His pillow is cold when you reach over to touch it. Your hand lingers on the pillow; there’s a passing thought that maybe the warmth of your hand will transfer into the pillow and trick you in sleep. You have another passing thought that maybe somewhere out there, wherever John is, he’ll feel a phantom hand creep across the bed to cup his cheek.
The blooming flower of daylight comes again to wake you up and the cycle starts anew.
The chores never end, but there’s some comfort in routine. Regularity breeds familiarity. Any contempt has long been bled out of you, almost without you even noticing.
The days pass slowly. A horse-drawn carriage. A robin nestled in the branches of a pine tree sings at evening twilight. You look up to find it stark against the dark green needles, the fir’s red heart.
A neighbor comes by with fresh strawberries that you eat from the bowl out in the sun, lying down in the grass by the paddock. You suck the juice out of a big one when you bite into it and it drips messy down your chin. When the achenes fleck off, you wipe them off on your dress.
Though you half expect Kate to come by, she never does. Perhaps she’s busy in town. You remind yourself that the brevity of your friendship can hardly measure up to competing priorities. Minding the shop, for instance, or stopping by to check on other acquaintances.
And then the waiting ends when you see a dark shadow on the horizon that you recognize all at once as a man on horseback headed towards the house.
Elation clambers up your throat. You very nearly shout at the sheer sight of him, but at the last second, you manage to reign it in.
You wave at John from the porch when you can finally make out the face of the man riding up the path. Despite the euphoric wave that washes over you at the sight of him, you feign composure, keeping your butt planted on the porch swing until he dismounts and heads down the path towards you.
There's something striking about watching him from a distance. Like Kate, you see him now from a new angle, an added weight to him. When he lumbers up the porch steps, you don't just see the man that dragged you to the court house and forced you to marry him, but a man in his prime. Square, masculine jaw; thick thighed. Something in your belly stirs when he rolls his shoulders back, accentuating the breadth of them.
When he reaches you, he grips you under the arms to pull you up, but your arms wind around his neck without any coaxing, meeting him halfway. Every inch of your body presses into his, and he smells and feels exactly as you remembered.
“Been missing you like hell, sweetheart,” John rasps into your ear.
“Missed you too,” you mutter, lips smushed into a kiss against his cheek.
And you did, didn’t you? You can say it for once without worrying that you’ll fall apart.
The two of you stumble into the house in a daze. Your hands are already trembling well before you fist them into John’s hair to drag him into a kiss. Desperation claws up your throat, need choking you when you go to tell him how much you missed him. You missed him bone deep.
He pulls away briefly, chuckling when you whine. “Darlin’, can I at least get cleaned up? I’m a mess.”
His beard has grown since you last kissed him, the mutton chops more pronounced now. It scratches your lips and cheeks when you tug him back down for a deeper kiss. He can clean himself later as far as you’re concerned. You’ve gone three days now without your husband and you can’t go a second more.
You can feel his smile when he breaks the kiss again. “Honey—”
“No,” you cut him off, a whine threading your voice. You tighten your arms around his neck, pushing your bosom into his chest. “Please, John, don’t make me wait; I can’t—”
“Alright, alright,” John sighs, and then hunches slightly to fit his hands under your thighs and hike you up his body until your legs wind around his waist. “Poor girl. Never seen you this needy before. You missed me that bad?”
“Yes,” you answer succinctly, already pressing kisses into the sweaty skin of his neck and his cheeks. His arms shake when he laughs.
He nearly trips up the stairs when you suck at the salty skin of his neck.
John smiles amusedly when you whip your dress off, nearly getting tangled in it before letting it pile on the floor by the bed.
In a different time, your eagerness might embarrass you, but you’re well beyond that now. It’s impossible to hear that distant voice in your head shrieking modesty when your husband watches you indulgently and unbuttons his shirt so slowly that you nearly bark at him to hurry it up. And then you actually do when he goes to fold his shirt instead of simply tossing it to the floor.
He laughs; it sends frissons of heat down your spine.
It’s unclear who pursues and who is pursued this time. All you know is that you either push him onto the bed or he pulls you down with him, clothes long since stripped and piled onto the floor. Your hands sink into the meat of his chest when you sit astride his lap, wet folds grinding on the hard shaft jutting up between his legs. John hisses through clenched teeth, already worked up, fit to burst. You wonder if he tended to himself at all on his trip, whether he even had time.
The hands tightening around your waist tell you that, whether or not he did, it’s inconsequential now when faced with the thing he’s been wanting most.
Your instinct is to lift your hips and line his member up with your sopping entrance before sinking down, but John surprises you by shifting up the bed and dragging you with him, not stopping until your pussy is hovering over his mouth.
It’s easy to panic over that, easy to grow skittish. You start when the flat of his tongue runs up the seam of your cunt, the only thing keeping you from tumbling off the bed altogether being the big hands clamped around your hips.
“You try to keep your pussy off my face and I’ll give you a licking you won’t like anywhere near as much,” John warns, and then pulls you down onto his face without further ado.
Your back arches at the first lick, his tongue burrowing into your hole, softened by the slick leaking out of you. His lips and tongue work you over until you’re a shivering, coiled mess on top of his face, hands braced against the wall and toes burrowing into the mattress.
A stiff tongue stabs up into your hole. The groan he lets out at the taste of you vibrates through you, making you clench around his tongue.
You’ve never been much of a drinker, but you feel drunk now, grinding on his mouth. Hands running through his hair. Blissed out, sex leaking, throbbing. Shameful noises pouring out of you unbidden, your inhibitions packed up and long gone by now. His upper lip glistens with your juices and when his eyes blink open, they’re nearly black with desire.
The hands on your bottom holding you over his head grip into you good and tight. He readjusts his hold on you whenever you try to pull off his face, yanking you back down and digging his fingers in harder, the tips wedged between your cheeks. You practically yowl when a finger prods at your back hole, worrying over the puckered flesh.
The time for gentle words is far beyond him. When you glance down between your legs, his hair is matted with sweat and disheveled, a flush high on his cheekbones. Blue eyes peer out through slits, locked on the dripping mess between your thighs. His nose presses hard into your pubic bone when he pulls you down onto his waiting mouth, lips parting and tongue sawing over your clit. That part you can’t see, but you feel the wet slide of his tongue over your slit.
You come with a finger lodged knuckle deep in your ass and his tongue rolling over your clit, coaxing it from you. Your whole body pulses and shivers. Chuckling to himself when you go dumb during it, slumped over him and panting hard. Tears dripping down your cheeks that John cleans up himself with his tongue when he drags you back down his chest and rolls the two of you over.
“God, you look so pretty like this, honey,” he coos when he’s got you under him, pinching your cheeks between his fingers until your lips go plump and pursed.
When he drags you into a kiss, his tongue still tastes of you.
He takes you on your back after that, knees over his shoulders and bending you in ways you didn’t think possible. Whatever control he had before is gone now. He thrusts in to the hilt the second he gets you flat on your back, taking three days of frustration out on you, near punching your cervix with the head of his cock.
“There we go— fuck—” John growls. “C’mon, squeeze me tight, honey; make me come in your pretty fuckin’ pussy.”
You feel like a creature turned inside of itself. All high yips, sharp pangs of pleasure, an ache in your hips that you know instinctively will worsen by morning, and a deep seated, unquenchable need. He mates you like a beast in heat, jaw clenched and brows furrowed; when your eyelids slip shut, he growls at you to keep them open, and you do only to find him staring down at you with that indelible, maddening intensity of his.
“Nngh, John—John—” you gasp.
“Just a little, darlin’—shh, c’mon, just take it. Like that, yes—that’s it.”
A dark urge flutters under your skin, blinking its eyes open. You stare up at him through half lidded eyes. “Gonna come in me and give me a baby, John?”
His eyes go black. “I’m gonna fill this tight cunt right up, you keep talking like that.”
You reach up to rake your hands through his hair. "Please give me a baby, John. Give me it, please."
His hips snap forward, knocking the breath out of you. He pounds into you with renewed vigor, lost in it, your nipples tagging his chest with every thrust.
If you could peel back your skin and tuck him into your ribcage, you would. He’s already in you anyway; everywhere it counts. Leathery musk wafting under your nose, sweat-slicked skin, his spend deep in your cunt and leaking out around his throbbing cock, the heat steaming off him and warming you from the outside in and inside out. His come spurts into you hot and viscous, so deep that you swear you can taste it at the back of your throat.
In the aftermath, you curl up against his chest and he traces a finger lazily up and down your spine.
“You’ve been so patient with me.” You don’t know what prompts you to say that, but you know it’s been sitting in your chest and waiting for you to put it to words.
His fingers pause in their ministrations, his hand resting flat on your back. “Patient?”
“Don’t play dumb, John. It doesn’t suit you.”
“Got some nerve accusing me of playing dumb,” he chuckles softly, leaning down to butt his forehead against yours.
You nearly go cross eyed. Doe eyed. Treacle tart soft in your chest. You wonder if you’ll look back on this someday in fear and awe, and think that is the very moment when you finally let him in.
This is how love suffuses into the girl: you wake up gasping to find it staring down at you.
You’re brave enough now to ask what it is that you need. The world flashes briefly before you: in it, you see every possible version of a girl, how she goes from animal skin to teeth glinting in the night. She is perforated and vibrating; lacunae as the voice drips back into the sea, papyrus crackling hot in the fire.
Maybe new love flounders again against the rhythms of the old, the song of you now sleeping beneath an alder tree, thickening with lemon and honey.
“I’m going to…—you know I’ll tell you. I just need time.”
“Darlin’, I know. There’s no use for rushing things. It happens when it happens,” John murmurs. He drops a bristly kiss on your forehead.
“…And if it doesn’t happen?”
He shrugs. “Then it doesn’t happen.”
It’s a shock when love finds you because you don’t expect it. You’d open the door to anything else in a heartbeat, but it’s love that finds you cowering under the stairs.
Love is not something you’ve ever touched, not even grazed. You recognize the insidious rot of lust or the gnarled grip of possession, but love? That has yet evaded your attempts on it. Not that you’ve ever given it a good go.
But now, when you think of it, it looks at you through blue eyes.
You sleep on it. You don’t contemplate when it’ll happen only because you know it’s inevitable. Your lips have already grown loose. When he eats you out in the early morning hours after a good night’s sleep for once since John left, you have to swallow back the wails of I love you, I love you, tell me you love me, please, please.
Your lips part, lax. Only sinking your mouth down over his turgid length after he’s made you come keeps you from accidentally saying the words. The soft, grunted fuck he lets out at that empties out any thought in your head.
Desperate times, desperate measures.
If John knows, he jealously guards your secret. Would take it to his grave you think. Just for him and you to know. Any temerity from the night before is squashed in the light of day, and you sit across from him at the table during breakfast wishing that he could hear the words in your head, if only so you didn’t have to say it out loud.
God bites the lip when you want it most to part. Isn’t that just the nature of life?
John leaves you off at the general store as always, dropping a peck to your lips before heading out on his way, but when you wander inside, you find Miles behind the counter instead of Kate. That dims the excitement in your chest a tad. It’s no fault of his, but you’d hoped to regale Kate with the revelation you’d had the night previous, omitting some of the lewder details. Instead you’ll be forced to wait until she’s back in town. When you ask Miles when abouts that’ll be, he shrugs, unable to give you a definite answer.
“Visiting a friend, she said,” he tells you, and you blink like you don’t know exactly what that means.
Her absence leaves you in a lurch though, little else to do but wander around the store. You’d leave entirely and try to find something else to occupy your time, but you feel a bit foolish coming in just to leave right away, though you’re sure Miles wouldn’t care either way. Still, you tell yourself you’ll linger for a few minutes before heading out to the library or down the road for a coffee at the inn.
The bell over the door jingles, but you pay it no mind.
You linger in the aisle with the fruit preserves and canned fish, gazing into the bottles. Tins with hand-drawn labels, branded packaging. On another shelf, you find oyster crackers, National Biscuit Company on the label. Nabisco. If Kate were minding the shop, you’d pop your head around the aisle to ask her what corned beef brand she used the other day.
The sound of spurs jangling from behind you makes you frown and turn your head.
A hand clamps down over your mouth, muffling the yelp that leaps instinctively from your throat, and you go shock cold when the blunt muzzle of a pistol wedges against the small of your back.
“Bet you thought you were clever gettin’ me out of town, didn’t you, girl?”
Your eyes widen.
#ceil writing#cod mw2#cod x reader#price x reader#price x you#john price x reader#price/reader#john price/reader#captain john price
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.
...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli
(Pt 1 for description rant)
#diary#personal#i rly wanna book a therapy appointment but im having a rly hard time trying to get myself to do that bc i need to check i can vid call#cuz my computer monitor is broke and havent fixed it yetttt ugh.#i rly feel like researching autism again. idk. i saw a video about communication badges being used at furry conventions#and by god that sounds so fun ;-; like. i really struggle with interaction with others and talking is sometimes really hard.#mainly bc if theres a lot of noise i usually wanna block it out and if i gotta take my earbuds out to comunicate all the time its not fun#idk. i just wish i could go around writting shit out for ppl to read and thats that. no need to speak to clerks or crap.#bc imma be honest. i have a hard time hearing too. like in crowded places. its so overwhelming all the time.#its both a good and a bad thing that im giving myself the permission to be overwhelmed in situations#but its also making it much more difficult to actually be in those situations.#idk. i used to force myself through it. tell myself i like it or whatever. but by god everything just hurts nowadays#like. i dont like leaving my house mostly bc of the sensory overload.#i wonder how things'll change in the future. just how much more accepting will i and society be. i dont know.#but i hope i learn to cope more. bc life is really hard and imma be honest im struggling at best.#idk. i find it so hard to work lately. i love my thoughts. they are so fluid. and just. language doesnt keep up.#everything i say or write isnt quite right. and it bothers me. i sorta wished telepathy existed just soley so i could comunicate#idk maybe someday ill learn sign language. and maybe that could help. but it wouldnt help when im shut down. or having a meltdown#yknow. i find face to face human to human contacr really scary. i worry theyll want to do something and i wont#i worry i wont be able to get across my reasoning as to why. i worry that theyll see just how odd my behaviour can be.#and above all i just sorta worry they wont work with me to meet me halfway. like. im stuck with my family i dont want that with friends too#i hope if i visit them itll be okay. that like. i wont cause a problem or accidentally offend them or something?#idk. i wanna make friends n hang out. but as ive gotten older ive discovered just how much i hate that.#like i saw a rly cool tik tok about how they set up their home for all their autistic friends when they come over.#like. its established you can just stop talking and remove urself if you wanna. and theres stim toys n plushies n shit. and low lighting#and just. that sounds like heaven. i struggle so much in social situations. bc i eventually get tired.#and it makes me feel sorta burnt out/depressed. so itd be nice if i could just remove myself from a stituation whenever.#or just lay my head down on someones lap and silently observe.#i wish i knew what to do when i get overwhelmed in public. bc it happens a lot. and i freeze. and idk what to do.#and ill cry and get overwhelmed and shutdown or meltdown. and i start to aimlessly wander and its sorta dangerous tbh?
1 note
·
View note
Note
HI I LOVED UR HYPERSEXUAL FEM READER HEADCANONS UR WRITING IS SO GOOD
Soo I'm here to request the vees (mainly vox but idc) x hypersexual Fem reader pleasee 😭���
if not that's okay and I hope you have a nice day/night!! feel free to delete this lol
-xoxo, Ari
THANK YOU <3333 i love the vees and ive been looking for an excuse to write them so this is perfect
vees with hypersexul reader
going with the same scenario as last time- you've just finished a round and (char) is spent but you're already ready to go again
《— vox —》
■ he seems like a 2 rounds kinda guy so after that second round and yall are just laying there he is SPENT
■ so when you roll over to lay on his chest like "one more time?" with a little smile on your face, as if yall did not just violently fuck it takes him a moment
■ he's spent, so spent. but he really wants to please you
■ he'd get used to it tbh. like he's mentally prepared everytime now but maybe sometimes he can do a round 3
■ he'd resort to toys i think, only the best for his girl <3
■ there's also something he loves about getting to hold you and watch you writhe in pleasure and he just gets to watch
■ he'd always take your preferences into mind with toys too. like if you want smth specific he's got it for you
■ i feel like he might prefer if yall are spent at the same time so the foreplay goes CRAZY
■ like it's not just foreplay it's actual rounds of getting you to cum before the main event yk
■ or sometimes he'll just ask if it'd be okay to be done for the night when he is
■ he doesn't mind either way but he'd definitely want to communicate about it
■ so yeah it might take him a little bit to adjust bit he'd be just fine!
《— valentino —》
■ okay let's be real this man fucks A LOT so he can probably do like. 3 or 4 lengthy rounds before he's tapped out
■ it's making me giggle about it but like okay val is a kinky guy, and like especially if the first time yall do anything it's a little bit rougher he is SHOCKED when you're down for more
■ he's prly into something like overstim where normally you kinda gotta reel from it after so when he's done and it takes you like. a minute or two to be like "do you wanna do it again?" he judt looks down at you so confused
■ he takes a moment, blinking. he'd definitely ask if you're kidding or smth and then finding out you're not he has to take a moment
■ like, he finds it fucking awesome but jesus christ he's finally met hsi match
■ he might use toys on you or go down on you, depends how he's feeling tbh
■ i think he'd lean towards going down on you, idk he just seems like he'd be a bit of a munch.
■ and if you're okay with it when yall fuck in the future he's constantly just seeing how far you can go before you're spent
■ long story short he's totally chill abt it when he gets used to it and thinks it's fucking great
《— velvette —》
■ okay im literally giggling and kicking my feet while typing this
■ she seems like a 2 or 3 round kind of gal
■ idk femxfem sex doesn't really go in rounds ime but like. yk.
■ so after she's spent, she's like so ready to cuddle up and sleep. but then you're caressing her cheek, nuzzling into her neck. "again?" you murmur and she has to take a moment
■ cause like, she's just super surprised you're still ready for another.
■ she'd ask the most questions abt it. like she'd want to just know more so she can support you better
■ she'd go down on you tho! anytime! she definitely has toys but she seems like the type to be more inclined to eat you out
■ if she gets tired of that she'd use a toy on you. but she stays engaged the whole time, super attentive.
■ she's a service switch so like getting to keep you pleased like this makes her feel good and she doesn't mind at all
■ once again, all of them would embrace it and they do not mind at all!
■ if you guys with the poly hc for the vees i think it just makes it so much better for them to know it's really hard to burn you out
■ i loved this request ty <3
taglist: @reaper-of-light-12 @mxxny-lupin @wisteria-songs @t3llas @concentratedconcrete @pansexual-opera-house @dionysusismypatrongod
taglist form
#hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel x reader#vox x reader#vox smut#valentino#valentino smut#valentino x reader#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel velvette#velvette smut#velvette x reader#hazbin velvette#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel valentino#the vees
1K notes
·
View notes