#gotta edge you guys and keep you on your toes lol
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heart-of-the-morningstar · 6 months ago
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Dress Up Part 4: Secret Preview
Hey all, I know I promised to have Part 4 out today but I ended up being extremely busy this weekend and I apologize. Please accept this preview as an apology 🙏🏻
Warnings for teetering on smut but not quite~
You chuckled just loud enough for him to hear before summoning another portal and jumping through it. You saw Lucifer turn the corner, a wide and almost feral smile spread across his face before the portal closed. You found yourself in his workshop again, just down the hall.
"You know, I'm starting to regret teaching you how to use portals," you heard Lucifer's muffled frustration through the doors. You decided to take it one step further. After all, what's a fun game of chase without a little risk? You kicked off your shoes in an instant and snapped your dress away, letting it fall to the floor and leaving you in nothing but your lacy maroon bra and matching panties. You opened the door to the hallway and poked your head out to see Lucifer standing further down, his back turned towards you as he tried desperately to track you down.
"You're getting colder," you taunted. You watched as Lucifer snapped his head around before closing the door and portaling away once more to the opposite hallway. You heard the doors of his workshop open with an almost sinister laugh following.
"Oh, you little devil," Lucifer hummed as he took notice to your recently discarded clothing. "It almost seems like my little mouse wants to be caught." He wasn't wrong. You heard the sound of a portal being opened. Then silence. When you popped your head around the corner, a cursory glance showed Lucifer was nowhere to be found. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of not knowing where he had gone, but it excited you none the less. After a few moments, you decided to make your way back to your bedroom as quietly as possible. After carefully opening the door to the nearly pitch black room, you tiptoed over to where you had hidden Lucifer's gift, hoping to use the rope to your advantage.
But there was just one problem; you weren't alone.
"Oh, darling," Lucifer's voice echoed in the darkness, "you should have known better than to venture into the lion's den." A small scream escaped you as your eyes darted everywhere looking for the fallen angel. After only a moment, you spotted his silhouette in the shadows in the corner of the room, his pale yellow eyes illuminated in the blackness. He lunged at you with his teeth barred, forcing you back onto the bed with your hands now pinned on either side of your head. Lucifer had made quick work with his clothes after you had lost track of him as he was now only down to his duck printed briefs that left very little to the imagination. His tail appeared behind him, swishing back and forth excitedly like a predator who had found his prey. You were caught.
You swallowed hard as you gazed up at your capture. "Alright, alright, you win!" You tried to force your arms up in an attempt to escape, but Lucifer's grip held strong. "You know, if you don't let me go, I won't be able to give you your gift."
'Ah, ah, ah," he chastised sweetly, "I won fair and square! Like you said before, we shouldn't spoil the surprise too soon. Or maybe you just want to hear me beg for my reward."
Your face felt hotter and hotter with every passing second, his words flowing straight to your already soaking core. "I-It wouldn't hurt to hear," you admit. "I love when you beg for me."
Lucifer's breath hitched at your teasing as he raised your hands over your head, now gripping your both of your wrists with one hand while the other trailed over the mounds of your breasts, passing over you stomach, and stopping right at the hem of your panties. It took everything in you not to buck up at his delicate touch.
"P-Please, love," he murmured as he leaned down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss, your tongues entangling together as if it was a fight for dominance. "Let me devour you. Your taste is everything I could ever want. I'm addicted to it. To you." His lips found yours again, kissing you like his life depended on it. You felt his lips curl into a smile against your skin as he peppered kisses down your neck and collarbone. "Pretty please?"
Your chest heaved erratically at your husband’s tender display of affection. “Well, h-how can I say no when you’ve asked so nicely.”
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jodilin65 · 10 years ago
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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2014 Nane asked me why I complain so much even though my life is so much better now, just like some others have asked me, and I told her that’s just how I am. She understood. At least I think she did. What I bitch about, though, doesn’t take away from the good. I still appreciate the hell out of the good times, trust me!
I was also right about her and Askim. They had a big argument and almost broke up. I would be surprised if they weren’t together forever, even though Nane can be a bitch at times.
Speaking of nagging… the people across the street are still working on whatever it is they’ve been working on. They’re not “noisy,” but they’re annoying and a bit distracting when I’m trying to focus on things. They just took off for lunch, but I’m sure they’ll be back.
This rain continues to amaze me. It’s like old times. I’m sure Jesse’s run down to the trailer to ask whoever’s in there now if the roof is leaking, even though all they have to do is call him if it is. It’s just after 12:30 in the afternoon yet it looks early morning out there.
Tom tightened the platform on my treadmill, though I’m too busy to run today. Plus I’ve got to have my toe done later on. Right now I’m doing laundry and am about to have lunch. Then I may straighten my hair. Maybe not, though. The rain will just curl it back up.
They gave Tom a nice shirt at work and a cell phone case, too. There are also hints of him replacing a guy who moved to another department which would mean a lot more money. He’s afraid to jinx it by getting into it much, and I don’t even want to think about the unfuckingbelievable shitload of money this could bring in case it’s a tease. He doesn’t know for sure what the guy was making, but it’s got to be at least bordering on insanity. We’ll know in about a month.
Later…
The surgery went over without a hitch. Whew! I’m so relieved the week of appointments is finally over. While I had to wait forever for her, the procedure went quickly and without as much pain as anticipated. As I was in the regular exam room, after listening to the ear-piercing screams of this little boy in the waiting room whose father did nothing to stop it, I heard the doctor step out into the hall and say, “The needle has to be long.”
Well, she can’t be talking about me, I thought to myself. Why would you need a long needle to numb a toe, right? Wrong. After she came and brought me to another room with a different kind of chair, she asked me if I wanted to lay back if I thought I was the type to pass out at the sight of what she was going to do, and I said I’d be fine sitting up. Besides, anything beyond a few feet in front of me is blurry without my glasses. But I could still see enough to know why she needed a long needle. Instead of sticking it straight into me, she ran it across my toe just underneath the skin. She stuck me 3 or 4 times, then put a clamp on. That’s a toe ring of sorts that acts as a tourniquet. When she was done her assistant bandaged the toe. It’s a good thing I took my flip-flops because it would’ve been hard to get my foot into the shoes I arrived in.
She cut the left side of the nail plate on the left big toe and warned me that there was a chance it could grow back ingrown at which time she would do more than just a section to guarantee it didn’t grow back curled. I’m also at risk of infection and bleeding, but I think I’ll be ok. Gotta keep the bandage on 24 hours, though.
It doesn’t hurt when I’m off my feet, but I can barely walk. Even though it doesn’t hurt it’s impossible to just walk normally. It only hurts if I put full pressure on the soles of my feet, and of course that toe. I have to walk on the outer edge of my foot or heel, and even then it’s uncomfortable. It may actually be easier if I crawled, LOL, and for the first time since being here, I wish the place weren’t so damn big. The bathroom is a mile away from my computer desk. It’s amazing, though, how much stepping on your foot affects the top part of it as well.
The only thing that pisses me off is knowing we owe hundreds of dollars. It would be thousands without insurance. We can afford it; I just don’t think it’s fair that only some people get free medical care. While I’m the first to admit the poor should never be denied health care, I don’t see why those with money should have to pay for it. Take it out of the taxes, why don’t they? Hundreds or not, I am at least getting top-of-the-line care with state-of-the-art equipment and the highest quality of services and remedies.
I was crying tears of both relief and gratitude regardless of who has to pay what. I’m just so, so grateful to Tom and to having insurance… FINALLY. I can’t believe we discovered the cure for my ear in Maui so I could end years of suffering. If only I’d known to get a humidifier. I’m like a new woman! I can eat without pain and don’t have to suffer near-daily earaches, and soon I will no longer have to suffer from my toe even if that was mild compared to the teeth and ear. It was a horrible way to live being in pain nearly every day of my life for years. Every day I’d wake up and wonder, what will it be today? My ear or my teeth? God may still hate me but He sure is doing a great job of not letting it show lately and I hope it stays that way!
It rained hard most of the day. Mudslides have been occurring throughout the state as we get all this rain the earth hasn’t been used to getting in years. Golf courses and playgrounds are now as green as Hawaii. We didn’t have much visibility on the freeway. The backsplash from tires makes it harder to see than the actual rain falling from the sky.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2014 The red rosebushes are in bloom on the front side and they’re really beautiful to see along with the pink camellias.
Really wish the people across the street would finish whatever project it is that they’ve got going. The car doors, hammering and sawing are annoying at times.
Why is it that other than Nane and I, people seem to be on Facebook just as much when they’re on vacation as when they’re not? I can see checking in to let people know you’re okay and having a good time, but shouldn’t vacations be for doing things you don’t normally do in your everyday life?
Was glad the Arizona governor did the right thing by vetoing the anti-gay bill that passed, but I’d still never want to step foot in that state ever again and I never will. It’s no place for whites, gays or Jews.
If Google Analytics weren’t set up in such a complicated manner, I’d have known a lot sooner that I haven’t had any local visitors after all. If I have, they aren’t showing up. All those other browsers were actually showing every visitor within that time frame and not just local ones like I once thought. This would explain why TIP never saw them.
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2014 Starting to think Nane broke up with Askim. Why else wouldn’t she tell me what’s going on? She’s told me before when she’d overspend like crazy and was hard up for money, and she’s told me when she’s been ill.
Where the sun was shining brightly yesterday and the day before, today it’s all cloudy and wet.
Saw the eye Doc yesterday, and sure enough, the eye pressure is still up. They don’t like to see anything over 20 and since I’m still around 24 and 26 the doc recommended a specialist in Citrus Heights. The good news is that my optic nerve looked fine and I haven’t lost any field vision. My close-up vision hasn’t changed much over the last year, so I’m not going to renew my reading glasses. I’m more farsighted, though, so I have to get my bifocals changed out, which means I’ll be half-blind for a week and a half since I can’t see far away.
Last year he didn’t recommend treatment because it was the first anyone’s seen or heard of me having elevated pressure. But now the doc is ready to officially list me as having OH but can’t determine why or what to do about it, so I’ll be seeing an ophthalmologist soon enough. It may or may not be the beginnings of glaucoma, but worst-case scenario, all I’ll need are eye drops. As the doctor himself said, “If a drop in each eye before bed is all you need to keep from going blind, why not?”
I agree. But I’m also sick of having one thing lead to another. I was healthy for years with little more than allergies, cavities and ear troubles. Now I’ve got a bum thyroid, high cholesterol and possible glaucoma.
Later…
My 5 cavities – yes 5 – have been filled. Andy’s reaction to the number of cavities cracked me up. So glad it’s over, though! I thought I’d be there for a little over an hour, but instead, it took 2½ hours. A woman named Holly whom I never met before did the x-raying and cleaning. She was very talkative and friendly. She advised me to add regular floss to my waterpick routine cuz the waterpick gets around the gum area well enough, but not the contact area where the teeth touch each other. It’s just so hard to floss. My mouth is so small and I have a permanent retainer on the bottom. I think I may eventually have that removed, which they also recommended, so I don’t build up tartar in that area so easily. These days they can make an invisible retainer that I can leave in overnight. On the other hand, I’m not as appearance-obsessed as I used to be when I was younger. So what if my teeth shift and end up crooked? It’s the damn cavities I’m sick of getting.
Since brushing and water picking alone aren’t doing the trick with my overly soft enamel, the cleaning lady recommended prescription-strength toothpaste that costs $20, but lasts 6 or 7 months. It’s got much more fluoride in it than regular toothpaste and is a better guard against cavities. You only use a pea-sized amount before bed and you spit the excess out but don’t rinse it like regular toothpaste.
The fillings are $80 apiece but worth it cuz she uses a special porcelain material that lasts longer than regular fillings. They’re the color of my teeth too, and not silver.
After I was cleaned up I was moved to another spot where Shannon and the doctor began their numbing, drilling and filling routine, which seemed to take forever. Shannon mentioned visiting me some time so she can check out the rats, which they asked about. Did I tell them about the rats? Or did they overhear me telling Holly about them when she asked if I had pets? If they didn’t, maybe they visit my blog more than I realize. If someone’s got cookies disabled or goes through a proxy, I’m not going to know they’re there.
What was amazing was that Holly recognized my name from being featured in a magazine a few years ago. I was hired by mturk.com to do an article for Newsweek. Personally, I don’t even remember what it was about. They wanted me to rewrite something for them without paraphrasing. I worked for, and still do, different people who need articles created, edited or re-written altogether for magazines, websites or whatever.
Anyway, she doesn’t have a Kindle yet but I told her I was an Amazon author and all that and she said she’d look me up, and my blog, which can be linked to from Facebook, as I also told her.
Janet, the receptionist, loved my haircut. The others didn’t say anything about it, but she said it was adorable. Sure looks better straightened, too.
We noticed the doctor had a throw rug over white pine wood floors in the waiting room, and Tom said that this was what I thought I would prefer when we do laminate flooring at home since he knows I don’t like most darker colors. We both laughed when I told him Andy said, “White pine? Where’s the puke button?” Something about his blunt honesty cracks me up. We all agree these floors are HIDEOUS. I can’t wait to replace the damn thing. We could save a lot of money by installing linoleum tiles that you can cut with scissors, but we’d be lucky to have them last 5 years. Better to spend more money for better quality as with the dentist. I’m sure this latest round cost us around $400, and that we’ll hit the max deductible, but on the bright side, we get a tax break.
The doctor asked if I wanted to break it up into two appointments or do it all at once, and I opted to get it all over with at once. She agreed that’s what she thought would be best.
She said to let me know if I felt my bite was off once the numbness wore off and they’d get me in right away to adjust it, but it feels fine to me. Just a bit of gum and jaw soreness, which I took ibuprofen for. My gums bled a bit as my teeth were being scraped.
The name of the place is Waikiki Dental cuz the doc loves Hawaii as much as I do. We won’t be going first class, and we’ll get a $100 room instead of a $400 room, but we WILL be back in Maui someday! Before this year I’d have said I like to vacation in a different spot each time we vacation, which isn’t often, for variety. Not anymore. Yes, I love you, Maui! I’ll get back to you again someday even though we’re finally getting some real rain here.
Yeah, it’s almost like old times and I can actually see green out there, and not just a few scattered patches of it. It was so nice being able to get out of the car, step into the carport, and then into the house and onto a mat we only step on when coming and going. In the trailer, we had to walk through muddy gravel, then step onto a towel I had to remove as soon as we got our shoes off, cuz it, like with all other open areas there, was a high-traffic area and I didn’t want to get my socks wet. If there wasn’t an object present in a particular spot, then it was because we needed to walk through it. It wasn’t like this place that has some open areas and corners we rarely walk through. In the trailer, if it was there it was because we had no other place to put it.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 2014 Wow, I didn’t know Andy was once friends with Norma’s daughters as well. But he too, unfriended them for ignoring him. I could be way off base here, but I suspect they want people “within their league,” and that unless you’re a professional that makes good money, especially if you do anything they do, you’re considered less superior to them. At least that’s the impression I get. In other words failed author who works at home isn’t good enough for a therapist, a professor, or one who works for an attorney. So what if she’s accomplished enough, even as a “1950’s” homemaker that no husband other than Tom would stand for today?
Nane emailed me and said that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and that she’s getting stronger. She never said what happened, though. The curiosity is a killer! Is she not telling me because it’s hard to talk about? Because she doesn’t trust me? Or because she gets off on leaving me wondering?
My nieces are in Florida now for a week with their beloved father. Let me guess, I will have to be insulted by pictures of the bastard, right? I know it’s nothing intentional on their part, but still… I hate having to see it or hear about the prick. I will unfollow them if it gets too much. It’s not the same as unfriending them. These two post the same old shit over and over and it really gets old. On top of that, they share practically everything the other one posts.
Later…
Created a Dreams journal on a site that allows for multiple journals. As in the kind of dreams I don’t have when I’m awake. As I was going through old journals I found that the number of dream premonitions, many of which I’d forgotten, is both shocking and creepy. I also couldn’t help but think, how did I miss this? You mean it really took till something like 2007 to realize I’m a dream premonitioner? But hey, that’s part of what a journal is for; so you can look back and see what you may not fully remember.
It’s been quieter today. Yesterday a truck was parked across the street moving furniture in and out and the bumps and bangs reminded me of attached living. But after an hour it left and I could feel like I was in the unattached house that I live in once again. I don’t miss having to deal with that and having to know it every time a neighbor in the duplex or apartments I once lived in long ago would shut a door, push back a chair, or close a cabinet. Forget about their music, TVs, voices, footsteps and other shit.
Our tentative plan in a couple of months from now is to have all the carpet ripped out of here and to just carpet the living and dining room with what may be pink or lavender since we won’t be doing the whole house. Then we will tear up these floors ourselves and install laminate flooring in something like a white pine. This will go better with things and I hate dark colors anyway. Maplewood, cherry wood, mahogany… yuck. I want something closer to white than brown.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2014 Nane picked up my message on Facebook, so she’s at least alive and probably at work.
Getting up this morning was a real bitch after 7 hours of sleep. I wanted to get up at 6am, but was so exhausted I hit the snooze button twice. Finally, I just bumped the alarm up to 7am and got up 15 minutes later. Really hope I can crash earlier tonight to catch up! The 4th, when this latest batch of appointments will be over, can’t come fast enough. It isn’t just the stress of trying to sleep and get up at certain times I need a break from, but just the appointments themselves. The eye and ear appointments should be easy enough, but I hate getting drilled and filled by dentists, and of course the toe surgery’s got me nervous.
Tom reminded me that we need much less sleep when we’re in our 60s and 70s. Yeah, but I’m only 48, so this isn’t much consolation to me now, LOL.
Anyway, I’m sitting here with a touch-up dye job and the timer set. Once it dings I’ll hit the shower and get on with my day, cleaning, working out, working online, etc.
It’s to be in the low 70s today and tomorrow but then drop into the 60s and rain Wednesday through Friday.
Later…
Unfriended all 3 of Norma’s daughters on Facebook. Sorry, but they were just too Shelley-like, making you feel like they care and promising to keep in touch, but then acting like you’re total strangers. They’re relatives but not family. I don’t want to be just another name on one’s friend list. Other sites don’t matter but Facebook is different. That’s the one place I expect you to be for real. It irritates the hell out of me when people create accounts under bogus names. I can understand when some need to do so to avoid stalkers, but when you do it for other reasons it makes me wonder if you’re hiding something.
Funny how Andy’s not a relative but is family while Sharyn, Deb and Michelle are cousins but not family. The original plan was to wait till Norma died so as not to hurt her feelings when and if she notices I let her kids go, but not only is Norma bound to live forever at the rate she’s going, but I have a right to live my life, too. Sometimes we really have to do what’s best for us and not worry how others will take it. She saw the “warning” I posted just for her and her daughters’ viewing saying I was considering deleting those I don’t hear from anyway, and she “liked” it. I think they just felt bad for me when I lost my parents and bad for what they put me through, then remembered that they didn’t necessarily care for “crazy” Jodi. No hard feelings, though.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2014 It’s a good thing I woke up on my own at 6:30 because I forgot to set the alarm. Where keeping a schedule was getting tough and my hours were jumping ahead way too fast, now it’s slowed down and gotten easier. It’s the weirdest thing. I’ve been trying an experiment Tom suggested. No lying down during the daytime. I would sometimes veg out for 5-10 minutes once or twice throughout the day in between tasks just to sort my thoughts or whatever, but now I must stay out of bed until at least 8 hours before I want to get up. Then I must stay in bed after that. No getting up to check my blog visitor list or email or anything like that. I can read, but I gotta stay in bed. This is to help keep me rested for the 4 appointments I will have over the next 8 days.
Got a message from Tammy after not hearing much from her and suspecting something was up. Sure enough, there is good news and bad news. The bad is that now she needs shoulder surgery. It’s arthritis-related, apparently.
She was telling me she had to take thyroid medication once (something other than what I’m taking), but only for 4 or 5 years. As I told her, though, the doctor told me I’d probably have to take my levothyroxine for the rest of my life. If I don’t my thyroid might eventually turn cancerous. I’ll probably always need the Simvastatin too, especially since I’m at a greater risk for heart disease.
I’ll probably always be big, but since starting the medication I’ve had fewer bouts of fatigue and it’s amazing how much better my ear is, too. The ear isn’t connected to the thyroid, though. The problem all along since leaving Arizona (not that I miss that shit state that loves you if you’re black, Indian, Asian and whatnot, but hates you if you’re gay, Jewish and sometimes just cuz you’re white) was the elevation in Oregon and the extreme dryness here. We’re on for rain again next week. Of course we are now that we’re smart enough to get a humidifier!
This area may be too dry and too cold in the winter, but it’s an ideal climate for runners. No extreme cold to have to deal with or snow and ice to have to dodge.
Anyway, where I’m excited for Tammy is that she and Mark have decided there’s nothing for them in Connecticut and are putting their house on the market in May or June and heading for Florida. She said it’ll be way smaller than they’re used to, but at least there they can do something any day of the year and will have lots of water all around them. They’re going to Stewart, I guess. Mark’s also been dealing with some serious shit at work, but hopefully their remodeling business will do well there. A 2600-square-foot house on a couple of acres is too much for them with all their medical problems.
She thinks the rats are hilarious. I’ve changed many people’s outlook on rats and will probably do so all my life. It’s pretty cool when one of the people who will never see rats the same again is your sister. Wild rats can carry diseases, yes, and they can be destructive little devils, but for the most part, they’re like gay people - picked on, shit on, misunderstood and ousted for no reason other than cuz they are who they are.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2014 I was taking a shower, reached for my bath gloves, and next thing I know I’m wearing my wedding band again! It had come off when I last pulled the glove off. I’ve got to be more careful now that I’ve begun losing weight.
Had no trouble getting up when I wanted to today, even though I thought I would, and I haven’t had any bad dreams.
Don’t know if I’ll make my ear appointment, but my eyes, teeth and toe will be no problem.
Wish I had more to say but there’s really nothing else going on. I’m a little worried about Nane, though, but hopefully I’ll hear from her soon.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2014 No thyroid surgery needed! Whew! But there were a couple of funny nodules on the left thyroid (though nothing to suggest an underlying malignancy at this time) that would explain why I got a “flash” of a bad vibe as she was rubbing the image scanner over that side of my neck. The negative vibe was gone almost as fast as it came. I mentioned it to Tom on our way out but wasn’t worried. Especially since I wasn’t having nightmares. Nightmares are my number one warning of trouble ahead.
Instead, I slept fantastically last night and had mostly weird dreams. Me talking to an imaginary friend in front of Tom, knowing he’d think I’d gone crazy. My dead dad wanting to buy me a parcel of land.
Anyway, I still have to take the medication, as Tom said, because I definitely will develop thyroid cancer in the future if I don’t. Without the medication the thyroid struggles harder to produce hormones it can no longer produce on its own. It would take years, but it would eventually sprout cancerous growths.
Significant weight loss is looking less likely but that’s okay. I’m big enough to keep perverts and other trouble away, but not so big I can’t bend over or anything like that.
Despite being glad to see the experts tell me everything’s fine even though my intuitive/psychic side said not to worry, I wish I could stop worrying as much as I do. I guess it’s just in my nature, though. I used to dwell on the past too much. Now I worry about the future too much. I think if I had to choose, it was better being stuck in the past because the past can never change or become any worse than it was no matter how much it may’ve been bad enough. But with the future… anything goes.
Later…
Andy and I got into it early (though we kissed and made up, LOL) about stupid shit we both misread. You know how it’s easy to read things into something online that isn’t even there. He thought I wasn’t buying his ability to pay his bills when I asked about his schedule, which has been different lately than I last knew it to be. If anything I thought business was booming so much that he had to cut back, not that he’d lost accounts. I believe what he tells me. If he told me that he could make himself invisible, jump 50 feet in the air, and run 100 MPH, then I’d have trouble believing him. Otherwise, there’s no reason for me to think anything he told me wasn’t true.
Then I got pissed cuz for the thousandth time he said I’d be working if I didn’t have Tom, sleep disorder or not. And for the thousandth time, I told him I would still be on disability and that I was terminated because I got married. I know what they told me. I was there. And I’m just telling him what they told me. It’s fucked up and totally unfair, but that’s the way the system is. Even more unfair is that I can’t get the benefits reinstated no matter how many doctors diagnose me because I didn’t work enough years to “qualify” between 1994 and now. How many times do I have to explain this to him? I asked myself in exasperation, but then I felt bad for accusing him of trying to irritate me in ways that he was in fact not.
So neither of us is perfect and we both make mistakes at times. I appreciate his being glad I forgave him and that he never wants to offend or lose me. I feel the same way. :) He’s like family to me, annoying at times or not. But hey, we all get annoying sometimes, even me.
Do I think I could’ve made it on my own had they cut me off for some other twisted reason if I hadn’t met and married Tom? Honestly? Knowing my body, no, I don’t think I could make it no matter what was at stake. I can go without sleep here and there but not every single day of my life. I’m glad I’ll never have to find out, though, and if I’m right, then maybe God really doesn’t give us more than we can handle. If this is true, then maybe part of why He blessed me with Tom was to save my ass cuz maybe they would’ve cut me for some other fucked up reason. They damn near killed us both by cutting his unemployment too soon in 2011, so why not? We’ll never know for sure and that’s ok with me! I’m just grateful that I have a husband that loves me enough to take care of me in ways that I can’t since the government will never give a shit about me any more than they do most folks.
First chance I get to sue them silly (if the laws ever change) and to get my benefits reinstated, I’m going for it! I don’t expect this to happen, but I’d fight for my benefits if I could. They’d probably only be 1 or 2 hundred bucks a month but that’s not the point. The point is that anyone who can’t work should be given disability checks regardless of marital status, age, race, color, sexuality, etc.
Do I still blame God just as much as those who have abused me? I do. We’d blame any friend or family member who didn’t come to our defense if someone was trying to harm us. Well, he not only didn’t come to my defense where my mother was concerned, but he also saw to it that she led a pretty decent life up until her final year or so. IDK, sometimes I’m not sure what to think or believe. I guess it depends on my mood and the situation at hand. It’s always easier to see the good in life when you’re in a good mood and things are going well. But when you’re in a shitty mood and everything’s going wrong, you tend to see nothing but evil.
Good mood, bad mood… I still can’t believe how evil and twisted Arizona is. A bill to allow the discrimination of ANY group is truly barbaric, wrong, insane and so dark ages. What’s scary is that this opens the door for more insanity. Really, what’s next? A bill that allows you to murder gays, Jews or whites because of your own personal warped religious beliefs? What is this world coming to? We favor blacks, we hate gays, and then we consider most everyone else “in the middle?” Texas used to be my most hated state, but Arizona sure changed that 14 years ago and then some more with their “Let’s Pick on Gays” bill. Even if I’d never ever been attracted to another woman in my life, I would still feel as disgusted and appalled by it as I do. I judge others based on their behavior and not their color or sexual preference, and I’m not going to apologize for how I feel, for to do so would be apologizing for being real.
Life would be close to perfect at least for me if I could just find my damn wedding band! I had just gotten into bed last night when I was hit with an image of the Robo vac sucking it up, but a search of the trash, which was where I emptied it out, turned up nothing. Nada. Niente. Nichts. :( It’s probably behind the bed unless the rats are hiding it.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2014 Went into panic mode last night when I was still awake after being up for 20 hours. For some reason, I thought my appointments were the week after next, though one of them is. Next week is eye, teeth and toe and then next week it’s ear. The ear is iffy, but I’m bound and determined to make the other 3 no matter how much I am not looking forward to them. I still think my eye pressure will be down and my thyroid won’t have any funny growths if she can ever get around to posting my ultrasound results online, but I’m still nervous.
A part of me wanted to drop dead last night for the first time since 2011 when it looked like we’d lose it all. The thought of battling this type of sleep disorder for another 30 years or so and knowing there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it is truly overwhelming and depressing at times. Tom said to quit trying so hard and stop taking things to help me sleep. Might as well. They’re not doing me any good anymore anyway. Not the Benadryl, not the Melatonin, not the wine. What am I going to do when I get old, though, (if I live that long) and have to see doctors every week like most old folks do? How the hell am I going to handle that???
I hate the devil and God above and whatever the hell else may’ve cursed me with this debilitating issue that is more than I can handle at times. Please tell me I did something really horrible in a past life – I mean REALLY horrible – to deserve this shit! Meanwhile, I will not let Him/they/it/whatever win. I WILL get to at least the 3 appointments scheduled for next week, even though I’m sure that after getting up at 7:30 I’ll be up till 3am - 4am. Really I’m not even going to try to get to bed at a decent hour. It’s just that my schedule’s jumped nearly 8 fucking hours in just 2 days. That’s way fast for me. I can’t afford to keep going that fast because the appointments aren’t till the 25th, 26th and 28th.
I was almost ready to cancel all the appointments and even stop taking my meds. Why take cholesterol medication when I can just watch what I eat? Also, my thyroid condition isn’t life-threatening. Worst case scenario I just stop losing weight. I’ll probably naturally gain back the 4 pounds I lost anyway, even if I keep dieting and exercising. For me, it’s more a matter of how much I eat and not what I eat. I’m more likely to lose weight if I have 4 candy bars in a day than 2000 calories of fresh fish. Either way, without thyroid medication I can at least stay the same weight so long as I run. I will make a decision later on. Right now I have enough on my plate just getting to my appointments. Thank you, God, for making such simple everyday shit so damn hard for me and even downright impossible at times.
Later…
Thanks to Fuckbook now posting news headlines on newsfeeds, I get to see all the sorry shit going on in this world. Arizona passed a bill allowing the legal discrimination of gays. Only Arizona could do something that sick, but they sure love you if you’re black. Blacks, Mexicans, Indians and Asians are perfectly welcomed and favored there, but you’re fucked if you’re gay, Jewish or just plain white. You’re fucked even more if you’re dealing with non-white opponents in the courts, and yes, I’m speaking from firsthand experience and not just what I’ve heard others go through. See why I’ve come to hate that state so much, though? Really, I can’t believe I lived there for 12 years and 2 days. The thought of just placing a single toe into that state makes me pretty sick to my stomach.
Maybe God really does hate gays, though I honestly found it hard to believe that any God could hate any particular group as a whole. Why allow them to exist if He did? I don’t doubt for a millisecond, though, that He can hate individuals; I just don’t know why. Maybe if there is an afterlife He can tell me why he’s had it in for me for so much of my life… abused by my mother, then by the system, then thrown into poverty, and hopefully now He’s not gearing up to make me a medical whore. Still, God is like people.
People: If you don’t adore blacks you’re a real shit, but if you hate gays you’re so damn cool.
God: I’ll kill the innocent child with cancer or let mommy kill it in a fit of rage, but I’ll let the cold-blooded murderer walk and maybe even win the lottery.
Later…
Let’s see, aside from Arizona allowing people to use God/religion as an excuse to be legal bigots, I’m still in a foul and worrisome mood. Just got a lot more going on than I’ve had in a while and it’s not about fun submarine rides, warm beaches or a pleasant day here in the park. It’s I can’t sleep and I wanna stop having so many damn doctor’s appointments! I read that apples give you the same energy caffeine does, so I had an apples-and-cream fruit cup upon waking up and it did seem to perk me up a bit. I’m still tired for the most part, though, but just like always I’m sure I’ll wake right up come evening time. I’ll be up till around 2am - 3am and need to be up by 8am. So another night of fewer than 8 hours of sleep for me. Want me to be a little street bum instead, God?
I got up at 4am, exhausted as hell with barely 4 hours of sleep, which is like 4 minutes to me, and Tom was filling the humidifier’s water tanks. That’s when I looked up and saw a wasp inside the panels of the kitchen’s drop-down ceiling. Must’ve come in through the stove vent. There was a dead one there when Tom cleaned that vent. sighs Sometimes I wish I could stand to live in an apartment or condo toward the top of a high-rise. Fewer bugs, less traffic noise if we were high enough, no yard work… But the yard work helps Tom keep active since he doesn’t run like I do, so he doesn’t mind too much.
When Tom pointed out that I could easily make next week’s appointments if I start with getting up at 8am and slowly inching forward, I went back to bed till 7:30. I was surprised to beat the alarm by even the half-hour I beat it by, but like I said, I’m sure tonight will be worse and tomorrow even harder. It’s after 11pm now and I’m dragging in a fog. By 6pm - 7pm I’ll spring to life and be wide awake. I know myself.
Despite how out of it and frustrated I feel, I was glad to learn that Eileen did get my postcard from Hawaii after all, and I also got a letter from my Italian dad. He’s got high blood pressure and his kidneys aren’t doing too well, but is otherwise keeping busy with the business. He says that’s what keeps him from moving to a nicer climate.
Hearing him mention the “young” 41-year-old who’s been helping him out put a smile on my face. He said he’d marry her if she wasn’t so young and that for him they’re either too young or too old, LOL.
He said he’d never have the guts to go in a submarine. Yeah, I suppose there is some risk to that. If the thing had flooded at 130 feet down, well… But it probably wouldn’t have been instantaneous and we probably could’ve swum to the top. Still, I’m glad it didn’t and that we didn’t have to find out for sure if we could make it or not.
Heard from C, after all. He said he’s not on Facebook much. He’s smart and I don’t blame him.
sighs I want to go lie down for a bit and rest, but am afraid I may fall asleep. Ain’t life grand? I gotta worry about falling asleep when I DON’T want to, and struggle to fall asleep when I DO want to. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear. Not kill myself or anything like that, but simply cease to exist.
What other stupid shit are people up to in the news these days? Oh yeah, an artist smashed a million-dollar vase in Miami in protest of it showing off only international artists. What a dumb-ass thing to do. Really, why spend years in prison and pay a shitload of money in fines when you can simply not bother with that museum and find one that will showcase your artwork? Then again, keeping in mind how twisted the laws are, maybe nothing much will happen to him. You know how it is… steal thousands of dollars, beat someone up, and you’ll get shit for it. Write down that your personal opinion of someone who’s not gay, though, and you’re screwed.
Later…
Now I have one more reason to be upset; I lost my wedding band. Funny cuz the woman who last lived here lost hers, too. What, does this house have something against married women? I only take it off when putting lotion on my feet, so it’s got to be either by this desk or by the bed. It can’t fall off cuz I’m too fat for it to do so, which is one of the reasons I don’t mind staying big.
If it was on the desk and fell off, the rats might’ve gotten it. The problem with rats is that they’re kleptos and they would have hidden it somewhere. I checked all the places they could hide it in… around the bed, around the desk, then said to myself, “Stop. Just stop. This is stupid. You know you never find things when you’re looking for them.”
So, I’ll stumble upon it when I least expect it. Like I said, it’s got to be here somewhere. At the same time, I fear I’ll never find it. If I had to guess, though, I probably will find it by accident someday.
Both my long and short-term memories are going to hell so badly that I can’t remember the last time I had it on, but I know it was a day or two ago, three at the most.
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2014 So Kathy sent Alison a message on Facebook accusing her of harassing her and Kim from “Rina Tina’s” account, which she promptly blocked without answering. I’d have done the same. As she said, she wouldn’t dignify her accusations with a defense. I guess Kathy also thinks one of us wanted to friend her from a fake account, but as she also said, cruel sounding or not, she’s a stay-at-home mom who no doubt spends all day updating every single trick her fat brat has learned and posting tons of “cutsie” pics. She’s not interested in that any more than I am.
Everywhere I go people’s kids are practically shoved down my throat with their unrestrained antics. Do I need to deal with this shit at home and in cyberspace, no thanks! So if she had to dump me, she picked a great time to do it.
As I told Aly, though, I refuse to mention her, Kim or Molly in my blog. They simply don’t exist for me anymore and that’s the way I’m going to keep it whether or not I exist for them.
It’s hard to say if I do or not. There have been no Austin or Brownwood visitors, which would mean Molly or Kathy were nosing in it, but Kim likes to hide, so I can’t say if she’s following me. I had my first Ask account wide open for a week, but nothing came in, so if Kim wasn’t interested in me there, it’s hard to believe she’d be interested in my tweets and blogs. Depends on how paranoid and delusional she truly is.
Later…
Got lost on the way to the medical plaza, but got there in time for my ultrasound once we finally found the Diagnostic Imaging section. I guess in a day or two I can access my results online, which will hopefully not include anything suspicious.
Last night I had disturbing dreams, slept later than I wanted to, and then I woke up to find I hadn’t lost any more weight.
It was one of those old “find enough money for another night in the hotel or go homeless” dreams, only this was a nice hotel with lots of water around it. Hawaii? Florida? Wherever it was, I hated that feeling of utter helplessness I had as Tom and I scurried around the grounds trying to figure out what to do.
At one point during the dream, I was in the room when the housekeeper knocked on the door. We brought our Robo vac of all things and I told her to hang on a moment while I stopped and hid the thing. When I opened the door, she goes, “What are you, high?”
Not bothering to hide how offended I was, I said, “No, I’m crying.”
Then I thought of calling my dad who was still alive and still at the number we had when I was a kid.
I was up forever yesterday and knew I had to catch up and that another day of fewer than 8 hours of sleep would really make me feel all yucky and useless. So I slept 2 ½ hours later than I’d have liked to, but will make myself get up earlier tomorrow no matter what. Yeah, this time around it seems much harder to control my schedule, but I don’t have enough time to flip it either. So in order to avoid getting too run down, I’ll catch up every other day which will be the days I’ll work out.
Later…
Wondering if C’s ignoring the message I sent him yesterday saying hi. Haven’t communicated since August and sometimes I wonder why. Because I haven’t donated lately? Something I said?
I wish Andy weren’t home so damn much. He only works something like 20 hours a week and is almost always online. Can’t he go out more to exercise and lose the weight he wants to lose instead of staying home complaining he’s 235 pounds and how hard it is to tie his shoes and wipe his ass? I know I don’t have to respond the instant he checks in on Ask, but still, if he must be home so often, I wish he’d be busy with other things more often than he is. If I ignore him for too long I start to feel guilty.
Later…
After today we’re going to be in the low 70s for several days. I still miss Maui. I’d rather the drought from hell than snow, but at least some patches of green are now visible here and there. The cherry and apple trees began blooming a week or two ago and are so beautiful. Mid-February through April is the prettiest time here. It doesn’t compare to the beauty of Maui or most other tropical locations, but it’s the most colorful time for NorCal even though we have flowers year-round here. The only problem with the cherry and apple trees is that they’re so ugly in the summertime. They turn a deep plum/maroon color that’s dull as hell.
Ran down a street I never ran through when running and found the road a bit beat up and the houses there to be more cramped and dumpier. I guess the older section is close to the office, which makes sense. They probably set up homes starting in that area before expanding outward. Clearly, those were homes built in the 70s. I still can’t believe we’re in an 80s home, though most of the ones around us are 90s and newer. Anyway, I made the run in the same 22 minutes I made it yesterday. I really should stay out longer for around 30 minutes. It’s just that I like the idea of passing the same houses only once where each step I take is truly unique. Doubling back adds time to the run, but I don’t get to see something new with every step I take.
Yesterday’s stop at Raley’s after the ultrasound was a waste of time and money. I got a high-cholesterol meal I forgot I shouldn’t be having (bacon-wrapped scallops) and that was rather high in calories, too. I also got some wine coolers thinking they’d help relax me enough to fall asleep faster, but they’re not helping much anymore. Maybe I’ve built up a tolerance for them and all they’ll bring me from now on is extra calories I don’t need.
I see a lot of people are disturbed about a spanking bill that’s been passed. I can understand their problem with it, and violence never solves problems, be it a little slap or a hard punch and kick, but something’s gotta be done. Something. Kids today are simply way out of control. If the parents aren’t going to teach them manners, respect, consideration and discipline, then it must fall upon the teachers to do so. Children are tomorrow’s future. Do we really want a bunch of unruly, selfish animals running the world at some point?
I can’t even go to the store without some kid screaming in my ear. Even in the waiting room of the medical center, a toddler was running up and down the hallways. An adult was with it, but still, that’s not the place to exercise your brat.
Later…
Nane told me she had big-time personal problems, was a little burned out, was drinking wine, and going to sleep early. That’s all she said. She didn’t give me any details. Is it money problems? Health problems? Askim problems? I’m guessing money or health. Maybe it’s connected to her job, but if it is, that could also be connected to money if she’s on the verge of being let go. Maybe she’ll tell me what’s going on some time.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2014 Slept less than 8 hours and was exhausted when the alarm went off. Not liking the idea of having to play alarm for 13 more days to get through this next batch of appointments, so I’m thinking I’ll let myself catch up tomorrow, then hold my schedule at whatever time I get up for the next few days. That way it won’t jump so much so fast.
Dropped another two-tenths and got up at 148.2 pounds which would’ve been about 147.8 had I slept as long as I needed to.
Today’s my ultrasound. They wanted to do it yesterday evening at 7:15, but that was too late for both of us. No bad dreams suggesting any suspicious growths, but I did have a weird dream where I looked in the mirror and saw a different face. Instead of a full face with green eyes and brown waves, I had an absolutely humungous face with little sunken round black eyes and black spiral curls.
Anyway, I’m hoping to find the energy to run a bit today, but will probably just end up lazing around. Vacuumed the whole house yesterday and didn’t have to lift a finger. The slave did the back of the house, charged up at the charging station, then did the front.
Some older guy shot up an SUV of black teens blasting music. It’s about fucking time, regardless of the SUV’s occupant’s age/color! Maybe now they’ll start considering making it illegal or at least make some of these assholes think before forcing such maddening chaos on others. Mr. Dunn is my hero and I’m sorry he has to spend 20-60 years in prison. He doesn’t deserve that. Blasting those fuckers isn’t much different than literally getting in one’s face while screaming at the top of your lungs. Get in someone’s face unnecessarily and without provocation and some people just might react. Really, I still cannot understand how some people can treat others as they do and then get all offended when the person finally reacts. I still don’t feel a shred of guilt for the words I wrote on paper no matter what any laws say and I never will. The sickos were as crazy as they were rude if they expected me/Tom/us/others not to react, and I think they’ll never know how lucky they were that it was just words on paper cuz I’m sure most would’ve taken it a step further than that after so many years of unasked-for abuse. In fact, I’m sorry I didn’t do more. As fucked as the laws are it probably would’ve gotten me less time than my offensive but harmless reaction got me.
Later…
Ran 1.5 miles at a little over 3 MPH in 22 minutes. Really wish others who are out walking or running at the same time would just ignore me as we pass each other. I’m deaf in one ear and the other has an earbud blaring in it! Let me guess, though, I’m a snob for not always stopping to chat, right? And if I did stop, I’d be nosy, right?
Yeah, as I’ve learned, we’re never universally accepted. Someone’s always got a problem with us no matter what we do. There’s this song – I forget what it’s called or who it’s by – that says, “If you don’t lose weight, you’re just fat. If you do, you’re on crack. So you might as well do what you want.”
If I talk about myself, I’m selfish. If I talk about others, I’m a gossiper. People get on me to be more sociable, but what if I was? If I were a regular little social butterfly how many people would be quick to tell me, “You really oughta spend more time alone and not depend on others so much for fun and entertainment.”
I am amazed people aren’t quick to critique me for running. LOL, why not? They pick on everything else? So if sitting around means I’m lazy, does working out mean I’m running from demons or something?
If I don’t ask about someone, then I don’t care. If I do ask, then hey, it’s none of my business!
At 5:30 I felt a little more awake after food and a shower, but I’m still pretty tired and it’s only 10am. My appointment isn’t for 5 hours. :( The good thing is that I can stop this anytime. Anytime I get sick of all the appointments and whatnot, I can put my foot down and say, “No more!” It’s wonderful knowing that no evil mother, institution or law enforcement is making me do this. I wasn’t kidding when I finally took back my life in 2003 and promised myself I’d never again be treated like a child and slave to any person or system.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2014 The “dream people” told me the night before last that Andy’s neighbor had a baby boy. He confirmed this to be correct when he got up, Jaime Jr. I knew she had a kid, just not what gender till I had the dream.
Now thinking the 4 “skinny” dreams I had were in regards to the discovery of my broken down thyroid and the pills that are now kicking in and giving me the results one SHOULD get from diet and exercise. I don’t remember all of them but in one dream I was in the tub, looked down at myself, and saw I was thin. I don’t want to just be thin, though, I want to be fit. :) Non-cardio days are strength-training days.
The medication has gone beyond helpful and into being close to a miracle. Funny too, cuz I always swore there was no “magic” pill. Well, this has been close enough. I slacked off on both diet and exercise before the trip, and of course the pills don’t kick in right away, then shot up to 152.8 pounds and now I’m down to 148.4. Ideally, I’d like to reach 110, but 120 is probably more realistic. Who knows, though? Maybe I’ll stop getting results at 140 and will be stuck there, though I’d rather that than the 150s.
Our savings is the lowest it’s been in over a year, which sucks big time. We’re not in danger of struggling but we do need to go easy on the spending. We’ll probably still get the dishwasher in a few weeks but will go slow on the rest of the home improvements. We’re IN the damn house and that’s most important than trying to get in one, shitty carpet or not, in the first place. Instead of doing all the carpets and floors in one day, we decided to see if we could get a cheaper place like RC Willey to remove all the carpet but only re-carpet the living room, dining room, and then down the hallway. That way we can move the beds, dressers and desks into the kitchen and bathroom. Then, as time and money permits, we will install new flooring ourselves in the kitchen, baths, bedrooms and laundry room. Cheap carpet is fine for what’s just two adults.
I feel bad for Andy and grateful that next door isn’t attached to us like his neighbor is who just had a baby. When he said he could hear the mother cooing to it, that pretty much told me how thin the walls are unless she coos unusually loud. Sure enough, he can hear the thing when it cries. I reminded him that in a few years, he could check into a retirement community, but he insists that’s his permanent home till he’s either dead or sent to a nursing home.
I was dumping our recyclables when Virginia walked by and asked me how I liked my Hawaiian vacation. She’s been there too, and also loved it. I thanked her for putting our trash out while we were gone. She said Bob thought to do so when he was out walking.
Then she said something like waiting for what was the most family she ever had visit, and I thought to myself, great, just great. Just what I need when my schedule’s where it’s at. But even though there were 5 or 6 vehicles there, I never heard a damn thing. I’d never have known they were there had I not looked out the window and seen all the cars. Tom said there were 3 cars there yesterday too, one with Washington plates, the others with in-state plates. I think she said something about a son in from Denver.
Had someone had all that company in the mainstream there would’ve been car stereos, horns honking, kids running up and down the driveway screaming, barking dogs, lots of shouts and laughter from the adults, music coming from the house, and God knows what else. I did, however, swear the vibration of a car door slamming shut woke me up for a few minutes at 8:30, but it could’ve been anything. It could’ve been someone going too fast over the speed bump in back or just a dream. I know I had a dream about being in a house that was laid out similar to the one we had in Phoenix. Tom was on the couch and I looked out the living room when I heard voices and saw a kid’s bike sitting in front of a car parked in their driveway.
I also had a dream my cousin Phillip owed Tom $300 for work he did for him and I was pissed cuz he wouldn’t pay up.
Later…
Andy and I were talking about how he’s just as obsessed with celebrities as I am with trying to get this damn weight off (which I now have a feeling is going to reset itself back to where it was no matter what I do or how properly I take the medication), and it’s true, we are kind of obsessed with these issues. I think everyone has something they’re hung up on.
“At least I’m talking about someone else,” he tells me, “and it’s not all me, me, me.”
Ah, but if I appear selfish it’s for a good reason, I assure you, and the answer’s very simple. I simply don’t feel it’s my place to publicly air out the lives of others unless they specifically tell me it’s ok to do so. Different people are more private than others and I try to use my best judgment as to what I say about each particular person I know. Celebrities are one thing because they’re public figures, and I told him this, but my friends and family are different.
If I don’t like you then I’m less likely to respect your privacy. That doesn’t mean I’ll divulge sensitive info or deliberately bash you with the intent of offending or embarrassing you, it just means I’m less likely to hold back on expressing my feelings and opinions where you’re concerned.
Meanwhile, if someone tells me a secret I feel obligated to keep that secret both on and offline. So in case any of you are wondering why I don’t always discuss others, now you know.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2014 Down 4.2 pounds and it sure is nice to once again have a body that can burn calories! Was out running at 3am for a half hour and took a slightly different route. I ran down the front gate the way I usually do by sticking to the park’s perimeters, then before I actually reached the gate, I swung left and to the office. From there I took the route I use going to and from the pool back to the house. It’s a good route for in the middle of the night, but not in the daytime when there’s more traffic. Sticking to the outskirts means I only have two streets to cross and no driveways to pass in which people could be backing up into me. It must’ve rained while I slept because the roads were all wet. It made it easier to see, though, cuz the streetlights made them shiny.
My quad muscles weren’t quite healed so now I went and made them worse again by not taking a second day off from running, but oh well. I’m addicted to running and now that I can get the results one should get from dieting and exercise I’m even more motivated. So far I haven’t had to diet that hard. I don’t have to go to 1000 calories or lower like I used to. I can have 1200-1500, so it’s nice not to feel so damn hungry all the time. There was one day it got a little hard and I had to eat extra, but I still lost!
I see what the doctor meant by saying the pills won’t make me lose weight. They just make it possible to do so. If I sat on my ass and stuffed myself I wouldn’t lose anything.
Just like learning languages is like a fun game to me to see how many words I can learn, it will be a fun game of sorts to see how many pounds I can lose, though I know that the more I lose, the harder it will get.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2014 Had an interesting run yesterday morning. It’s amazing how many people are up so early, even before the sun comes up. First I damn near tripped on a sprinkler and killed myself, then the turkeys went off from down in the ditch and scared the shit out of me that’s how loud they are. Then I passed by a lady walking her dog with a muzzle on. It was trying so hard to bark and what sound did come out sounded so fucking funny I had to run even faster to keep from bursting out laughing and freaking the dog out even more, LOL.
First time hitting the open road since before the vacation and now my quad muscles are killing me. I thought that after all the activity in Hawaii and then using the treadmill I’d still be in shape for the road. Wrong! Oh well, today I’ll just work my arms and abs and tomorrow I should be fine for hitting the road again.
Down another two-tenths of a pound, but still can’t say the thyroid pills are helping just yet. Weight loss is so gradual that you really need to lose more than a few pounds to know much of anything. I should definitely know more in another week.
Hope Andy has a great birthday today! I told Tom what he said he had for breakfast yesterday and we were laughing. Not in a bad way of course, but eggs, 4 pieces of toast, 2 bananas and 2 glasses of juice?! That’s a LOTTA food! That’s gotta be about 800-1000 calories, so a pretty big breakfast you could say. I couldn’t eat that much if I were starving and Tom said he’s lucky if he can eat 1 banana in a day cuz they make him so gassy. I could do the eggs, 1 or 2 pieces of toast, 1 banana and 1 juice, but that’s all in one sitting. Huge amount of food or not, I’m sure it was delicious and that’s all that matters, no matter how funny it may seem to me. :)
Sarah sent a brief thanks-for-the-gifts message. No “I really like them” or “they’re a nice color” or “they’ll go well with my new dress,” and nothing at all from Becky. Hope they’re not disappointed in them, but if they are they’re not going to say so. I don’t see why Tammy wouldn’t like the puppy I sent her, but does Becky not like her shell necklace or is she just ungrateful? Guess I’ll never know.
Yesterday, Valentine’s Day, she posted that “love stinks.” LOL, yeah, if I looked like her I’d probably say the same thing, poor kid.
Later…
Looked at Doctor C’s pics again and again I really liked what I saw. If someone showed me pics of her doing handstands on beaches in bikinis and parading around in sexy costumes at parties, then told me she’d be my doctor, I don’t know if I’d be more alarmed or intrigued, haha.
She’s a hottie for a light-eyed blondie. Almost in a model-ish sort of way. She’s the type that stays thin and lovely all through life. She rarely wears nail polish or even makeup, but she’s so beautiful naturally that she doesn’t need it.
Not so sure anymore that she’s dating that black guy. She seems to be a very happy, upbeat, outgoing social butterfly with friends from every different race and nationality on earth. She’s shown appearing to be just as chummy with other men and women, especially this small Asian chick. There was even a pic of them gazing lovingly at each other with the caption “girl love,” so I don’t know what to think. She’s definitely childless and isn’t married, though.
Anyway, she may have a drab mop on her head and dull eyes, but oh, that body, that height and that gorgeous smile! Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like not to be me. What if I was that tall, that beautiful, that normal?
The account doesn’t appear to have been updated since last August, so who knows if she got my message, or if Facebook even let it get to her in the first place.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2014 Finally saw the movie Eden, about the true story of a young girl who was kidnapped and forced into prostitution. But it made no sense. The girls had plenty of opportunities to escape and cry for help but never took advantage of it. Neither did they consider the fact that there were about 30 of them but just a few captors. Why didn’t they all jump and attack them and then get the hell out of there?
Went into my first my-diary account to check something and was amazed to see it’s been shared to Google 23 times, shared once on Facebook, and tweeted twice.
Dropped another two-tenths of a pound but that’s only because I slept forever. Still don’t know how much the thyroid pills are affecting me just yet, but whether or not I lose anymore over the next week will tell me.
I sure have been dreaming a lot about the ocean since returning from Maui. I think I even swam in a lake at some point, too. Never really cared for lakes. My German hottie, who wished me, Tom and the ratties a happy Valentine’s Day with a cute rat pic, was in one of the dreams. She sounded English, LOL.
This isn’t a complaint but just an observation instead. I’ve noticed that a few of my friends and I seem to be total duplicates while others seem to be exact opposites when it comes to our likes, dislikes, habits and our ways of thinking and doing things. I’m like wow, can two people really be that similar or dissimilar?
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2014 In regards to my entry about being unsure as to what to believe in as far as unearthly sources go, someone said, “That’s a reasonable outlook. A person’s beliefs are such a personal thing and definitely something to give some deep thought. The world would be a better place with karma doing its job. But I just can’t believe in it for so many reasons. Interesting entry!”
Yeah, just seeing how good my abusive mother had it up until her final year of life alone is enough to make me doubt karma.
Good people often have it rough. Bad people often have it sweet and fine. Alison may not be perfect, and she’s the first to admit this, but I know her well enough to say with certainty that she’s a decent person overall. Sure enough, though, she’s still medically cursed. When she had that abscessed tooth she bit a hole in her tongue and her gut feeling says she’ll have to have surgery on it. :(
I vaguely remember a dream where Michelle performed a “preliminary” ultrasound of my thyroid and might’ve urged me to check into it. Hopefully, that’s not a bad sign cuz there is a possibility of it having goiters, which could turn cancerous. If that’s the case then they need to remove the damn thing.
Now down 3.2 pounds but since I could always lose a few pounds I’m still not 100% sure the pills are helping. I need another week or two to know for sure. If things are still the same then my weight will go into reset mode within the next week. Meanwhile, I’m still running, crunching and lifting.
Andy said I might want to delete my vacation pics someday. No way! That was the BEST vacation I ever had and I love those pics. He said his mother said that unless he’s in it, people don’t want to see scenery pics, yet everyone else who’s seen the album loved the green grass and mountains, the coconut palms, the resort, the beaches, and the sea, both under and on the water. Besides, I’m still huge and ugly. Why would anyone want to see pics of me?
Sam’s Clubs gives out free gifts for you taking the time to watch the presentations they do, and they gave Tom a cleaning shammy the last time around. It’s a super-soft cloth and it did an excellent job of eliminating streaks from mirrors with no water or chemicals whatsoever.
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2014 More signs that the thyroid pills are kicking in. Before, a cup of coffee would put half a pound on me, and of course a full-blown meal would jack me up 2-3 pounds within a half-hour of eating it. But earlier I had a cup of coffee and a protein bar and was barely up half a pound. So unless something up there is doing a damn good job of teasing me or I had more water retention than I realized, this could very well be it! If the control is truly in my hands now, then next comes deciding how much I want to lose. Maybe I’ll just lose a little, maybe a moderate amount, or maybe I’ll skin myself down to nothing. I doubt I could get under 120, so I’m going to take the I’ll-lose-what-I-can attitude and leave the rest to fate. Meanwhile, I’m working out daily. Enough to help make a difference but not too much at this point because I don’t want to make myself hungrier.
I just hope the nightmare I had doesn’t mean anything. If I had to guess I’d say it’s probably nothing to worry about. But still, I have 4 appointments between the 25th - 3rd and I wonder what shit may come up at that time. More cavities at the dentist? More pain than anticipated when getting my ingrown toenail taken care of? I can’t imagine what the ear doctor might say, and of course I don’t even want to think of what may come up with the eye exam. We haven’t yet scheduled my ultrasound or sleep appointments.
Later…
Saw a movie based on a true story about a young girl who worked at a hospital. She was murdered and then she ended up possessing her old coworker to get her to bring the guy to justice. Once she got what she wanted, she never possessed or contacted the woman again.
If half of this story is true then that goes to show there is no God dishing out karma to those who wrong us and get away with it at least where the law’s concerned, and if there is one, it sure likes to sit back and let the devil take over at times without a care in the world. Really, why did SHE have to be the one to do the right thing from the other side?
I still don’t know what to believe for sure as far as ghosts, the afterlife, God or the devil go. No one’s ever jumped down from the sky, shook my hand and introduced themselves as God. I’ve never been dead and so I can’t say if there’s an afterlife, unless I was reincarnated and don’t remember my last life. I’ve never seen a ghost with my own eyes, though I have had some strange experiences like with the Maricopa land being haunted and what I think might’ve been my foster mom. Maybe I wouldn’t even know what to think where dream premonitions are concerned if I hadn’t experienced them firsthand. I know that just because I haven’t seen or experienced something myself doesn’t necessarily mean it doesn’t exist, but sometimes it’s hard to believe what I can’t see. When all you hear are stories that could be wishful thinking or hallucinations for all you know, you just don’t know what to believe for sure.
Somebody’s rat bastards have been “marking” her Robo vac with piss. Yeah, these pissaholics are quite territorial, alright. And do they go run and hide when someone comes to the door? Hell no! Instead, they have to charge the door with me as if it’s some kind of race or contest to see who can get to it first. rolls eyes But I do love my pissing, curious critters, LOL.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2014 Really hope last night’s nightmare doesn’t mean more medical trouble or other trouble is ahead for me. It didn’t leave me with an ominous feeling, but anyone like me is always concerned after these types of dreams.
There were two dreams. First I remember diving into a big wave in the ocean (Maui again?), and then the trip seemed to get rather rough. Something about not getting transportation or something like that and there might’ve been an issue of money. Tom and I were talking to a young guy and Tom was saying that “the woman” who I’m guessing coordinated the trip, said he shouldn’t have to be the one to call and bitch about it and that he should let her take care of that.
Then the young guy comes out and says, “You two should leave each other.”
“Why?” I said. “In the 20 years we’ve been together we’ve been through a lot worse than this.”
He said, “No, I mean you two should split up and divide the tasks that need to be done today.”
We laughed and agreed that might be a good idea.
The second dream got a little scary. They (don’t ask who “they” were) were going to throw me in a pit of fire in a hole in the ground that was perhaps 12 feet deep. There were about 10 others in the area, including Tom. Most were standing but I was sitting down. Not sure if it was a “legal” execution or not or what it was I supposedly did to be tossed into a fiery hell, but as the enormity of it began to sink in, I said to Tom, “What a helluva way to go. I was really hoping to die in my sleep of old age. This is really going to hurt, isn’t it?”
He wore a dubious expression.
I thought of telling him that I’ve noticed that the guy doing the “executions” leaves as soon as he sends the person down into the fire and so maybe he could try to pull me back up, but figured the others would stop him from doing so. But before I could speak Tom might’ve said something about trying to let myself burn up as fast as I can.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2014 Quick update while the rats are out playing. My ear is still better and I’m down nearly 3 pounds, but unfortunately, it’s probably due to water loss now that my period is over, and not the thyroid pills kicking in and working along with diet and exercise. I’m not dieting much yet. Just eating healthy and in reasonable portions. It feels good to be running, lifting and crunching again. I miss road running, but schedules and weather got in the way of that for a while. I should be back out there soon.
This week I’m cleaning the house a section at a time and doing a super thorough job since I’ve been neglecting it since before the vacation.
Created an account on Penzu that automatically keeps all journal entries private unless you choose to share any particular entries, which can be done anonymously or not. I’m basically using it as another backup. Sites change, accounts get hacked, sites shut down (such as in the case of Open Diary and My Dear Diary), so multiple backups are always a good thing.
I update Histofme monthly.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2014 My nieces’ updates are the usual – revenge, fights against cancer, sisterly love, and of course they love their abusive daddy oh so much.
Eileen didn’t get my postcard cuz she, her husband, and her 90-year-old mother moved to a cheaper place, and Irene asked if I’d been in touch with Nane. Has Nane been ignoring her or something?
I’m shocked to say this but I think I finally broke free of the trolls. I had my first Ask account open for a few days as a test, yet nothing came in at all, let alone that smelled of them. Molly’s online time may be very limited, though. As for Kim, if she’s as crazy as I came to think she was, then she may still think I’m conspiring against her on a regular basis, but if not, then she’s probably no longer reading my journal.
I seem to have a local visitor in Sacramento and Roseville. I think there may be more than one, and while I’d like to think it’s connected to my dentist or Dr. C, it’s probably just random. Could be coming from the park, but I doubt it. Then again, it could also be a BOT, which may be why TIP isn’t picking it up. Google doesn’t give IP#s, so I can’t run it to see if it’s a suspected proxy or whatever.
Again I wish Andy had less free time online. Ask is fun, but not a dozen times a day. No one can make me respond to him the instant he checks in, though. I can wait a few hours between check-ins. He may wonder why I’m not there as much and act like I’m hardly ever there at all, but tough. Seriously, though, he lives online and only sleeps 4 hours a night.
The rain came down with a vengeance all through last night but is now tapering off.
Andy continues to amaze and surprise me. Yeah, just when we think we know all there is to know about someone, LOL. He partook in a couple of sleep studies, which Tom says is common for those with his type of problem.
I also didn’t realize he had a soul mate, let alone a female one. I always considered soul mates to be those we married or at least lived with for the rest of our lives, but no matter how many times you unmarried Tom and I, and no matter how much distance you put between us, we’re still soul mates. Funny, though, for a guy who’s mostly attracted to guys to have a female soul mate while I, predominately attracted to women, have a male soul mate.
I think I also have a bit of a crush on my newest doctor (yeah, keep this health shit up and I’m gonna have a real collection of doctors that’ll outnumber my damn doll collection). Anyway, it’s harmless, hee hee. She doesn’t take my breath away or anything like that as I don’t usually go for light eyes and hair, but she’s tall and has a beautiful smile and body.
I was snooping around in her Facebook photos. Then again is it really snooping when the things are public? I just get curious about who I’m dealing with, and back in the 80s and 90s when I was last seeing doctors we couldn’t look them up like we can now.
The humidifier is still helping my ear. So we paid the quack doctor up in Oregon over $100 to be worthless while all these years later I go to Hawaii and accidentally discover what was making it ache so much.
Well geez, Doc, I guess I should’ve gone to medical school. Or maybe not. Scheduleless or not, I still prefer writing, languages and singing to blood, puke, piss, shit and other ungodly gore.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2014 God, I can’t get that place off my mind! Had you asked me where I wanted to live someday I could’ve named a number of places, but not actual towns or cities. I had my general ideas. Now I could say “Ka’anapali, Hawaii” with certainty.
Had to laugh at how disappointed I was to return to California, the very state I dreamed of living in so many times, especially as a kid. It sure was nice, though, to return to a home of our own and not someone else’s dumpy old trailer.
I didn’t just love the weather but the appearance of the place as well. If you love colorful flowers and palm trees, that’s the place to be, though I’m sure Florida has enough of that as well. Florida would be a little hotter in the summer, which would make hanging outdoors a bit more uncomfortable, but would also keep the pools and ocean from being as chilly as a few cloudy days can make them.
Maui is the perfect place, minus the costs. It was like one big party that never ended, though I understand that those that live there are working if they’re not retired, and not running off to submarine rides every day. Unless they work on one.
For now, we should still be here for years even if it’s not for 14 years. So we may as well make it as comfortable as we can. We’ll probably get the new dishwasher in the next week or two. We probably won’t get the carpet for another month or two when we won’t be wasting heat with open doors. Then there’s painting, new drapes, new flooring, etc. I just want to personalize it, worn-out carpet and shit or not, and make it more our place than the last people’s place.
In case I forgot to say, the island we sailed to might’ve been the Oahu island and it was in the town of Lanai.
Later…
Hawaii must miss me as much as I miss it cuz we’ve had more rain here in the last 3 days than we’ve had in the last 3 years, and it’s coming from Hawaii. I love it! It just has to come down really hard here for me to hear it on the patio and carport roofs which are made of the same metal the trailer’s roof was made of. In a real house, you don’t hear what you can hear in a trailer.
Really wish I was on days now so I could enjoy knowing the rain would keep the landscapers away. It’s quiet at night anyway no matter what the weather is.
So my nutty husband and I call the Robo vac Rosie and now I’m calling the new humidifier Maui. Since bringing Maui’s humidity inside our NorCali home my ear has been fine. To think I suffered on and off for a decade just to go to Hawaii and discover the cure for it is amazing! But I’m not 100% sure this is the answer to easing its aches and pains just yet. It’s too soon. I’ve gone a week or two without discomfort many times. If it is I’ll be thrilled, but I also know God will be sure to replace me with a whole new long-term problem that will make my life just as annoying.
Just got off the treadmill not too long ago. The thing has 6 programmed workouts. I’m in shape enough for one of the intensity workouts, but two of them I won’t even try, LOL. Not yet anyway.
Because it could be another month before my hormone levels are adjusted, I’m not “dieting” yet but I am slowly preparing myself by eating a little less and a little smarter than I have been these last couple of weeks. Why start really dieting now before the meds are tweaked since it wouldn’t do me any good? I will always do my best, however, to exercise regularly and keep in shape, whether I do or don’t end up dropping weight.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2014 Sheriff Joe, you really love to stir up controversy, don’t you? Yeah, leave it to a sheriff who’s both crazy and corrupt to punish inmates in Arizona who destroyed flags with nothing but bread and water for a week. First of all, what the hell were flags of all things doing within their reach? Secondly, while I can understand the symbolic importance of the American flag to some people, it is just a piece of material after all. Thirdly, should one man really be allowed to play God like that and just make and break laws at will and dish punishments at will as well? Lastly, what about health issues and possible risks from this lovely diet over this material thing?
Ok, so they’re criminals. Some were framed, some are in on trumped-up charges, but MOST are true criminals at heart who deserve to be miserable. But like it or not they’re still human. Should we treat them like animals? Hmm… that’s a tough one. I mean, if someone’s an overall decent person in for petty theft or drug abuse, it’s hard to really want to see them suffer. Murderers, rapists, beaters and child molesters, on the other hand, are a whole different story.
Not sure what’s going on with the house across the street. The For Sale sign has been down and since we’ve been back there’s been a red SUV over there like somebody’s living there. But wasn’t that the same vehicle that used to be there before the house went on the market?
This may sound funny, but I wonder if I should switch to a smaller monitor due to how shitty my eyes are. In Hawaii, I used our 17” laptop and with that I could still wear my bifocals, allowing me to see both near and far. With my single vision lenses I can see my 21” screen fine, but when I turn to look across the room it’s all blurry.
Got Tom into watching Twin Peaks on Amazon after telling him for years how wonderful it was. It was one of my favorite series, though much too short with just two seasons. I pretty much quit watching TV after that because it became nothing but the same old shit over and over again. Maybe I’ll catch a movie tonight or play with this really cool graphics editor we downloaded when we got back, now that I’m caught up in writing, posting trip photos, and backing up to Amazon Cloud.
Later…
Got curious and looked up my doctor. Looks like she is or has dated a black guy. Figured she was straight. She may be blond, but she’s tall, slim and has a great smile and body. I messaged her and complimented her pics, but I’m sure she won’t get it. Really beginning to think it’s me who can’t send non-friends messages and not just a big old glitch. It’ll supposedly go to her “other” folder, but I still don’t think she’ll get it. If my friends sometimes don’t get my messages, why would those who aren’t friends get theirs?
Our new humidifier arrived today. Hopefully, we can bring a taste of Maui indoors and HOPEFULLY help these constant ear problems I’ve been having for the last decade or so. We’ve had a surprising amount of rain, though. I’m shocked that we’re going to get 4-5 days of it. It’s exciting, too! Love hearing my wind chimes, something you won’t hear much of in these parts. The drought has wreaked havoc on the lands, farms and my skin and ear. I probably wouldn’t need lotion in Hawaii, Florida or other tropical climates. My sunburn is peeling too, though that would’ve happened anywhere.
Ever just know something? I mean where you really have a strong sense of knowing something with certainty in your gut? I’m sure you have. Again, I’m not as unique as some may think, I’m just a little more advanced when it comes to knowing the unknown. And while I get most of my info in dreams, every now and then I’m wide awake. Well, my vibes say we’re not going to be here for 14 years. The plan is for Tom to work till he’s 70. We’d be ok if he retired at 66, but more than ok at 70. We’d get close to what he makes now, so we wouldn’t be rich, but we’d be comfortable.
“We’re not going to be here in this house till you’re 70,” I told him the other day. “I just know it. With every ounce of my gut and heart, I know it.”
It’s similar to when the well was fixed. Right as they were finishing up a gloomy feeling came over me and Tom noticed and asked what was wrong. I shook my head dubiously and said, “Same thing’s gonna happen in two years.”
“Oh, no, sweetie,” he said with a confident and reassuring smile. “This is galvanized piping we’ve got now. Not that cheap PVC.”
But it did happen less than a week to the date.
Anyway, it hit me that we wouldn’t be here that long and I told him that could only mean something very good or very bad - we either win big bucks (since we don’t want to give up his job before he retires to have to scramble to find a job there in time and take those risks all over again that damn near killed us) or something happens to cause us to lose the house if it doesn’t kill us first, whatever it is.
Then it hit me. Maybe Tammy and Mark are our ticket out sooner. Maybe after they get settled there in 5 years or so and if they’re right in thinking the business will be successful and all that and could use one more pair of helping hands… well, you just never know. Tom can fix anything. ANYTHING. But he’ll be the first to admit that this type of work isn’t what he’s used to, so he would probably find something computer-related. He’s used to warehouses and assembly lines and is usually some type of lead or manager.
Still, it makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Now if we were surprised with a shitload of money… sorry, but we’re going back to Ka’anapali, LOL.
I’d kill for a home job that didn’t require a schedule, even if it were slave wages. I don’t mean pennies, but I’d settle for minimum wage, even a little less. That’s just a dream, though.
We had to bump my appointments up to the end of the month. Damn, I am so, so sick of this thing dictating my life, but I don’t know why the doc wants me to eventually go to the sleep clinic once everything else is stabilized. What can they tell me that I don’t already know? It’s like with my ear; there’s only so much you can do about it. That ear is always going to be like it is and it’s never going to look or hear normally no matter what you do to it. I’ll gladly follow her advice, but since we can’t make a short person tall or a tall person short, what’s the point? Guess I’ll find that out later on.
Millions of people look forward to waking up each morning (and sometimes afternoons or nights) to go to a job, to make money, and while their jobs may not always be loads of fun, they still have them and the paychecks they come with. Money’s not the point right now. Tom makes more than enough for both of us; the point is that sometimes I just wish I could be normal like everybody else. I’m not not working because I won the lottery. I’m not not working because I’m 66. I’m 48 and I don’t qualify for disability even though I have more health issues than even I realized I had. Some things were as obvious as a period, but other things really took me by surprise, even if most can be dealt with.
I know, I know, maybe if I’d worked some disgruntled employee may’ve come to work a little trigger-happy one day, right? So maybe our God who just “loves” me oh so much was just saving my ass, right? Well, instead of just seeing that I worked where no one was trigger-happy, why not just sic this shit on me instead and keep me out of work altogether. Brilliant solution!
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2014 I have seriously mixed emotions over returning home. As Andy said, there’s no place like home. But like I said, there’s also no place like Maui and I already miss it and want to go back. But it doesn’t have to be Maui. Florida and other places are a lot like it, climate-wise. When I think we may be here for 14 more years, it doesn’t sit well with me, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world either. It’s just that I strongly vibe we won’t be here that long. This could only mean something very bad or very good has to happen along the way if I’m right. We either lose the house, die, or win a shitload of money.
I hate being cold and I hate the extreme dryness, though we are on for rain this week and we did purchase a humidifier. I’m also back with the landscaping and heavy traffic. That’s another thing I liked about Maui – no big scary freeways. I hate the freeway here cuz not only do half the people creep (Cali must have killer speeding tickets) but you just never know who’s gonna cut in front of you or something stupid like that.
Still have more to cover on the trip, but first, today’s the first day since returning home that I woke up feeling well-rested. It took a million hours of sleep to do it, but I did it, nonetheless. Yesterday I got to wake up to landscaping and today it was hammering. Heard landscaping for a few minutes later on, too.
Had some weird dreams. In one dream Andy and I were young and single again and I was still on disability. We went down to Connecticut and Andy found someplace he wanted to move into, though I don’t know what it was. He insisted I had to be his roommate but when I explained to him that I didn’t get enough money to pay my share, he dumped me and left me stranded.
I was walking along wherever when a pleasant-looking woman in her early 30s or so picked me up. I was grateful as hell and told her I was from Massachusetts. She said she was too, and was headed up there. I asked where in MA she lived and first she said Leeds, then she said Northampton.
Later…
Time to wrap up our wonderful trip for once and for all. Before we left, Tom was afraid we missed the plane, LOL. He checked our flight’s status to be sure it was on time, but it was listed as late. He was like, how can it be late if it hasn’t left yet, but they were predicting it’d be late in taking off. It wasn’t, though.
After the submarine ride, we stopped in their store to give them the postcard to mail, and I also got a few more souvenirs from them as well. I will eventually take pics of the things we got there.
So at the submarine place, I got a clear magnet with a floating boat, and this thing I don’t even know what to call. It works like an hourglass only it’s not sand. It’s like oil and water, however, the pink and orange “beads” of liquid that fall through the clear liquid can’t be oil cuz oil floats. I don’t know what it is. Some kind of gel? Anyway, it takes a couple of minutes for it to trickle down and it’s pretty cool looking.
I also got an ankle bracelet I just love. It’s totally me and very comfortable. It has multicolored beats and a little gold heart dangling from it that has a little bell or something like that inside it. You can kind of hear me tinkering when I walk. Size small fit perfectly. My wrists and ankles are the only body parts that never got fat.
We went to a burger place and OMG! The screaming kids drove me nuts. They are just TOTALLY out of control these days. We’d never have been allowed to run around loose like that in stores and restaurants screaming like animals. I was like, somebody slap these things silent! That was pretty much the only time they got annoying. Little annoying at the pavilion the day we went sailing too, but at least the flights were peaceful. On the ground, you can move away from the damn things, but in the air? I feel bad for Andy cuz he’s annoyed by their racket too, and the woman next to him is expecting. It may be years before it’s running around and making it seem like an earthquake hit his building, but I would think some of the screaming would go through the walls. Our hotel was peaceful overall, though it did have its annoying moments. It wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been because most of the people were older, but the walls were pretty thin. I never heard TVs or anything like that but I heard plenty of bumps and bangs. I do NOT miss attached living. It’s too bad, too. An apartment in Maui is probably all we could ever afford.
At first glance, I thought they had the British flag flying with the American flag till I realized it was the Hawaiian flag. Not what you’d expect. I thought they’d have something with the ocean or flowers.
Sunday afternoon, shortly after eating our burgers and fries, we went for one last swim, but it was kind of cold so we didn’t stay long.
That evening we walked to the Whaler’s Village again. We were halfway there when the resort shuttle picked us up and brought us the rest of the way. Tom got pizza at the pizza place and I got this awesome dinner of clams and mushrooms in a creamy sauce served over penne pasta. We got some snacks and a few more things for me – hot pink athletic shorts and a couple of hula girls. Those figurines that swivel at the waist.
Later…
The Sacramento airport sure was a pain in the ass compared to the Kahului airport. In the Sac, we had to take off our shoes and shuttle to the gate. In Kahului, you just check in and walk a little way down to the gates. You still have to put your carry-ons in a tray to be x-rayed and walk through one yourself, but that’s it.
As soon as we stepped off the plane I was hit with a blast of cold air seeping between the space where the plane meets the ramp you walk down and into the terminal. We’ve only been home two days and already my skin is dry and my ear is on the verge of annoying me based on the “popping” sounds my artificial canal is making. Yeah, it took me all these years to FINALLY figure out why it aches so much and now I know. I’m at least 95% sure anyway that it has to do with living so many years in such dry climates. We oil it to keep the skin soft, which has trouble shedding on its own, but Hawaii had enough moisture in the air to keep it soft. I probably wouldn’t even need lotion there.
Another theory Tom has is that the thyroid medication could be helping my ear. Our bodies are constantly replacing dead cells. When your thyroid craps out on you this process, metabolism, and so much more slows down to a crawl. The slowing down of shedding and replacing dead skin and cells may’ve been a factor, but I’m going with the humidity factor. So much so that we bought a humidifier on Amazon for $100 that says it can do up to a 2300-square-foot place. So we’ll be creating a tropical climate indoors. The stickiness can get uncomfortable, especially when you’re doing something physical, but it’s better than the pain and discomfort the dryness causes.
I only gained a pound or two if even that since I’m kind of watery right now. I’m ready to make one final shot at blasting 40 once they adjust my medication. I just don’t know if I want to do Nutrisystem or Jodisystem.
Tom noticed that someone emptied our trash and our green waste while we were gone. Then when he was checking the mail, Virginia jumped out at him and said they took care of it for us. How incredibly nice of them! It took us over 20 years to get decent neighbors, but we definitely do have them… finally! I’m glad they took note of our absence, cuz while I did tell Bob we were going to Hawaii at the end of January, I didn’t give the dates. That was so, so nice of them to look out for us. I’m sure they’d have called the cops had they noticed anything suspicious going on too, though I didn’t expect there to be because of the location. The dream people would’ve told me if any trouble was amiss anyway by making sure I got hit with the wrong kinds of nightmares. Even so, the drive from the park gate to the house was the equivalent of that icy cold walk up N. 11th Street in Oregon when we stepped off the Amtrak back in ’07, wondering and hoping everything was okay.
It wasn’t ok for the people on the other side of our neighbors. They too, went to Hawaii, only they went cruising. Then they got to come back to a broken heater, poor things. Someone’s plumbing or electricity must’ve gone out in one of the houses behind us cuz the utility truck was there earlier. That’s the hammering I heard.
The lamp in the living room was on when we got home cuz we timed it to come on at night. I called to the rats as soon as we came in and out popped Sugar from his burrow. It was so cute. Then Romeo hopped out a second later. I missed my furballs!
The only pisser is that the mail hasn’t been delivered yet like it should’ve been. Tom called the post office just to be ignored for 20 minutes, so he finally hung up and sent an email. So what have we got to do now, fight for our mail?
My schedule is also totally messed up. We’re going to have to reschedule a few of my 10 million appointments.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 2014 Back home now and ready to get caught up on the trip… finally! I have just a few more activities to cover. I’ve been surprisingly tired. We’ve been taking this day just to basically recover, and my having PMS doesn’t help cuz that always makes me more tired. And hungrier. I had 5 bagel bites and was still hungry. Scarfed down a bowl of ice cream. Still hungry. Ate a hot dog since Tom got the only kind I like, which he rarely gets cuz they’re kind of greasy and expensive. Still a little hungry, but fine. I’ll just live with it.
On Sunday we stopped at Atlantis Submarines and found they had plenty of room for us to book a trip. They can fit up to 48 people per trip and there are no bathrooms in the submarine so it’s best to go on an empty bladder. Being Superbowl Sunday, they had plenty of open seats.
I thought the dive site was at the docks where Trilogy, the catamaran boats, as well as others, take off from. However, we had to take a little shuttle boat out to the actual dive site. It was about a 10-minute ride and they went faster than the catamaran did, at what I’m guessing was 40 MPH, whatever that comes out to in knots.
They gave us free postcards which they paid the postage for and so I decided to send one to Andy.
Since they did a dive before us we got to see the submarine emerge from the water. It was way cool! I got pics of it coming up as well as going back down with the next batch of passengers after our ride. Only the very top of it emerges above the water. The viewports remain underwater.
The inside of the sub is about as long as a bus but narrower. There are no isles you can walk up and down and people sit wedged in close and pretty much back-to-back. One row faces the viewports on the starboard side, and one faces the port side. There are two ways down into the sub and each one goes a different direction. If you go down from the left you sit on the port side and if you go down on the right you sit on the starboard side like we did.
So down we went to the ocean floor! Our deepest point was at 130 feet and the guy leading the tour and explaining the types of fish and the various things we were seeing, said to kiss our lovers as it would literally be the “deepest” kiss ever, haha.
Anyway, the guy explained how different colors change at different depths. The first one you lose is red. That becomes purple at 30 feet. Bright colors appear to glow, he said, and I looked at my bright, neon nails and sure enough, they did appear to glow.
I was surprised natural sunlight reached down to where we were going. He said you have to go to 600 feet before you lose all sunlight. He also said that coral only grows a quarter of an inch a year.
The viewports are magnified by 25% and so things appeared bigger and closer than they actually were.
Throughout the ride, we saw an old ancient anchor and a couple of cement blocks. The most fascinating part of the voyage, even more so than the fish, was the sunken ship! It was one they actually sunk themselves. It was an old leaky ship they bought for just a buck. But it costs a few grand in permits and all that shit. They sunk it for fish to play in back in ’05. It now has coral building upon it, of course, and there’s a hanging chain, which gives them a sense of what the current is like, even though most of the motion is at the surface.
So up we went and I watched the ocean floor fall away. Then he reached up, turned a small wheel and opened the hatch. Up the ladder we climbed where we then took pics of it submerging before being shuttled back to the harbor.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2014 We’re back in the air again and headed home to my ratties. Other than them, my bed and stuff like that, that’s all I’ve missed. Oh, and having two bathrooms. It was nice to know that the one bathroom thing was just a temporary deal for us and not the norm it used to be.
We’re about a half-hour into the flight and this one will only be 4.5 hours. Guess it has to do with the direction of the wind.
They served champagne before we even took off, then they gave us those wet hot washcloths, though I’m not sure why. Maybe they felt we’d want to wash up before dinner?
More kids are on this flight, but they’re not a problem from up here in first class.
The plane we’re on landed while we were waiting at the gate, and will be continuing on to Seattle after stopping in Sacramento.
We both agree that our Hawaiian vacation was way better than our Caribbean vacation. On a cruise ship, you’re pretty limited as to where you can go and what you can do, no matter how large the ship may be. I even got that tan I didn’t think I could get, after burning and getting those itchy bumps I’d get when trying to tan in Arizona. This trip was also so much better because we didn’t have all the traveling issues we had the last time around, having to take trains and taxis to airports and hotels and deal with layovers, etc.
For appetizers, they’re serving Thai green papaya salad, grilled calamari, and a warm Hawaiian sweet roll. The entrée I chose is the beef filet with Maui onion marmalade, roasted fingerling potatoes, and sautéed asparagus. Dessert is goat cheese cheesecake. I have had more alcoholic drinks in the last week than in a decade, but that’s only cuz it’s free.
Here they come now with their little bags of mixed nuts and dried fruit. My ratties will love them.
Later…
Just had lunch and it was pretty boring. The sweet roll was delicious, but the salad was lame and the calamari was weird. Tom wasn’t impressed with it at all. So we basically ate the rolls and called it done. The salad had strips of tomatoes, onions, carrots and half-moons of cucumbers.
I’m trying to go in order of events, and while writing passes the flying time, I’d also rather do it on a real computer with a real connection. Our connection was as slow and unreliable as Auburn was. To pay $17 a day, though, for a faster connection would’ve been ridiculous. All we needed it for was to check the accounts and so I could let people on Facebook know we made it over ok and were having fun. Naturally, most of my wonderful family had nothing to say about it. I told Nane that her mother ought to get over to Hawaii now and not wait till May when the whales head up to Alaska.
So glad I brought my good headphones this time around. Screaming kids or not, it’s nice to listen to music with good headphones where you can hear the music better over the roar of the engines.
A week turned out to be the perfect amount of time for our vacation. At first I was hoping to go for 4 days but that wouldn’t have been enough time to do everything we wanted to do. Anything longer would’ve been a bit much, not just cuz of the rats and my schedule, but because it’s so tiring after a while. We did so, so much and a lot of it was rather physical. We really exerted ourselves at times. My schedule did much better than I thought it would. I had Tom get me up at 7:00 yesterday and at first I was tired as hell. But an hour later plus a cup of coffee, I was fine.
Due to the energy, all the walking and swimming zapped from us, we both crashed earlier. I still woke up for a minute here and there throughout the night but woke up on my own for good at 7:00, an hour before I had to get up. All in all my schedule only jumped forward 4 hours while we were there.
My feet are swollen as hell cuz I’m not used to spending so much time on them. I almost wish I could be this physical every day, but what could I do? Run around the park all day or night? That’d get boring. Besides, at home, I do have other responsibilities.
I can tell I’ve gained weight despite all the activity. It’s going to take another month or so for my thyroid pill to kick in and for the doctor to adjust the levels and all that. Furthermore, I am older and I did eat like a pig. Sure was fun living on steak and seafood during the week. I had a lot of other things, too.
Later…
Dinner was absolutely delicious. Glad they finally took our trays so I can put my journal on the table. It’s easier to write that way as opposed to holding it in my hand.
I believe I left off with the events of the 1st, so I’ll start there. That was Whaler’s Village and Luau day.
We walked from our room to the Whaler’s Village, which was about a 15-minute walk. There they had lots of shops but they were pretty damn expensive cuz many of them sold designer clothes as well as handmade and one-of-a-kind items.
We gave the store our voucher for the free gift they had to offer. Unfortunately, that was for a boring skull necklace or earrings. I chose a pair of hot pink fish fin earrings, which I plan to send to Sarah. Mark and Becky will get shell necklaces and Tammy can have one of the sleeping dogs she loves so much. I’ll send her the golden retriever but will keep the cocker spaniel.
For me, I got a glitter eyeshadow palette from Sephora’s.
We got pizza and fries and then ice cream at Hagen Daz.
For anyone interested in looking these places and events up – the town we stayed in was Ka’anapali on the island of Maui. We stayed at the Sheraton Maui Resort. It was the Old Lahaina Luau we attended on our last night in Lahaina. Tickets are $109 per person, but it was included in our package. We flew in and out of the Kahului Airport in Maui.
Just took a break for dessert and why we got chocolate cake instead of cheesecake beats me, but it was still good. Fortunately for Tom, he liked both dinner and dessert. Well, except for the asparagus, of course, which I ate.
When the guy came around asking if we’d like more drinks, I asked if they’d be serving Mai Tais, but they only do that on the way to Hawaii. A moment later he surprised me with one cuz they had some left over from the previous flight.
Ok, on with the luau. It was fun to experience at least once, but not worth doing again. It was oh-so Hawaiian, though, with the hula dancers dancing with the ocean behind them and coconut palms all around, but overall the entertainment wasn’t that impressive and the food was so-so. Can’t tell you everything we had, though, cuz most of the food names were written in Hawaiian, LOL.
Earlier in the day, we wondered if it was going to be canceled due to all the rain. Yeah, for a few hours it came down hard. When I looked out to sea, the clouds had pretty much whited things out so you couldn’t tell where the sea met the sky.
After standing in line forever, we were given leis of purple orchids (oops, almost wrote “lies” of purple orchids). Then we were shown to our seats. Keeping in mind where our table was, we walked around a bit. The music wasn’t my kind at all, of course.
We saw a couple of guys crack open, juice and squeeze out some coconut for people to sample in little cups. Tom hates coconut, of course, so he wouldn’t dare touch any.
Then there were a couple of female dancers teaching some people some dance moves. In each hand, they held what looked like bushels of incense sticks and they made this rattling sound when they shook them.
Had to take another break for a minute cuz I felt a bit ill. Not like I was going to puke or anything like that, but I felt warm and like I couldn’t suck in enough air. I think the days of alcoholic beverages are over for me for a while. Sure drank a lot during the luau. Had a Mai Tai, a Honey Girl, and a Lava Flow. These drinks are mixes of fruits with either vodka or rum. Pretty sure I had some soda and water along the way too, LOL.
We were seated at a long table with 3 other couples – a black couple from Alabama and two from icy cold Minnesota. All were very nice.
By then it was getting dark and so they lit all the tiki lights. It looked so cool too, and the only unpleasant thing was this weird smell at times that reminded me of a filthy public bathroom. Don’t know what it could’ve been, though. We weren’t that close to the restrooms.
It almost felt like we’d gone to another country, not just because of the different climate, but because almost all the street signs and other things were written in Hawaiian. It’s a good thing I knew that kane was man and wahine was woman or else I might’ve used the wrong bathroom, haha. Other than that, aloha and mahalo, I don’t know shit.
We were then led to the buffet where it was hard to see because their lights were broken. The steak and seafood salad was good. There were a couple of things that looked like ground spinach in which one tasted awful and the other tasted great.
The costumes weren’t that impressive and neither was the dancing because they were moves anyone could do. Loved all the long dark hair and dark eyes, though. Gotta give them credit for remembering all the moves of their routines despite the lack of intricacy. Their timing was perfect too, when dancing in unison. So it’s harder than the exotic dancing I once did because there’s nothing to learn or remember. They just want you young and thin.
Later…
Just like the last time, all I really see out there are clouds galore.
Got 54 more minutes of flying time, so I’ll try to cover the rest of the trip while we’re still in the air. That was 3 more things, the submarine ride, another trip to the Whaler’s Village, and one last swim.
The submarine ride was spectacular and worth the $233 our tickets cost us. Look up Atlantis Submarines for more info and pics. Their site probably even has videos.
Took my second and last potty break before we landed in the dry 56-degree weather. I’m gonna miss those 80-degree temps! I was amazed at how many joggers were out and about despite the humidity. Most ran in the mornings and evenings. Guess who’s going to be able to run like that and get results just like they do? Yeah, moi! I knew something had to be wrong with all that running and dieting I was doing just to get no results whatsoever. I just knew it. I didn’t expect, however, to learn my thyroid quit working altogether.
Tom thinks he should lose 50 pounds and I should lose 25 if that’s what I decide to do. 110 would be ideal for me, but 120 is more realistic for my build, height, age and muscle density. Gotta laugh when Tom says I should soon be able to lose with exercise and eating “reasonably.” What does he think I am, young? Male? I had to restrict calories even before my thyroid went to hell, so why wouldn’t I now? Only difference is I shouldn’t have to damn near starve myself.
Looks like I’m not going to finish the trip in the air after all. I’ve written a lot as it is and need to give my hand a rest.
Here I come, ratties!
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2014 Got up at 6am and Tom, who’d been up for a few hours, said there was no Wi-Fi. Yeah, they seem to turn it off every morning. Again, not worth the $500 the room costs. I’ve only been going online to check Facebook once a day, but I don’t need to do that till we return. Again, vacations are all about what we don’t usually do in our everyday lives. I called the front desk who patched me through to support. They asked me for the hotel number. But since I didn’t have it handy, I said forget it. They’ll turn it on when enough people have bitched about it, which is probably their regular morning routine. Anything to save a buck. We could plug the laptop into the wire, but it’s not worth it because then I’d have to use it by the bed. I’d rather sit at the table.
I’m basically sunburn-grounded today, so I will be spending most of the day in the room and I hope those around us won’t do the same. We will go out to one of the finer restaurants later on when we go to pick up our free gift at the Whaler’s Village. That’s something you get for buying something at the mall store where I got the crystal pineapple.
Didn’t sleep too well because of my sunburn. When laying on my back it felt like I was lying on a hot stove, but I’m not that tired. I slept on and off for 8-9 hours. Looks like my schedule won’t be too hard to deal with after all since getting up by 7am tomorrow and 8am the day we leave should be doable enough.
Had a weird dream last night where my mother and brother were still alive only my mother was in her late 50s instead of 80. My brother shot her and went to jail. On TV was a news documentary on it and all about her abuse and why Larry shot her. I thought to myself that once he got settled wherever he was going to be within the system since I didn’t expect him to be released anytime soon despite his reasons for the shooting, I would send him a letter of support.
Last night I dreamed my Italian mom was still alive and I discovered that she and Dad had created a potion or something like that to control the minds and behaviors of others. I wondered if they’d turn on me if they knew I knew about it, knowing they would be in big trouble if they were ever found out.
Just jumped up to snap a pic of a lovely rainbow that’s out there this morning. It’s partly cloudy today and light showers are expected. I’m glad this room doesn’t face east or west so we don’t get blinded by direct sunlight. I also wish, as much as I love beautiful magenta flowers, that they left the chain link fence bare so I didn’t have to stand up to get a better view of the sea.
It’s amazing how many whales there are here now and it’s not even their peak time. I guess that’s not till the end of the month. But anytime I glance outside I see random waterspouts and tails flapping.
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hanazuma-inactive · 4 years ago
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defrost (nsfw) kaeya x top!male reader
pronouns: he/him
warnings: ice play!! slight degradation, orgasm denial/ edging, top male reader, bottom kaeya
a/n: this was edited by @kamihara, she really outdone herself in this one, professional kaeya simp lol
_____
“to think such an honourable knight such as you, the cavalry captain of mondstat, is now begging to cum. how shameful of you,” you let out a low chuckle as a provocative smile broke out on your lips, “i wonder what citizens would say if they saw their beloved and oh so admirable kaeya in this position?”
as a captain of the ordo favonius, you were a bright figure to the people of mondstat. a person who aided in saving the city from destruction, one of the heroes that defeated storm terror. of course, other knights had nothing but respect for you as your skill and talent was nothing short of impressive. many looked at you with a high regard due to your strength and position, this meant that many were intimidated by your presence and therefore fear approaching you.
however, there was one person who disregarded this and stuck by you anyways, kaeya alberich, the cavalry captain. out of everyone in the knights of favonius, you were the closest with kaeya. you enjoyed his company a lot, he was an interesting person who knew how to keep a conversation going, and while you're with him you could never find yourself feeling bored. he was as charming as he was cunning.
kaeya found himself enjoying your company too. the two of you have done lots of things together. going on missions, getting away with “knighty” duty, babysitting klee, and drinking at angels share. you know, all the fun things in life.
kaeya was a secretive person, and while you were curious about him, you respected his boundaries. perhaps this was the reason why he drew you in, besides his blaringly good looks of course.
there was no doubt that the man was attractive from head to toe. his silky navy blue hair fell down his shoulder with grace, his fringe complemented his smooth, flawless sepia toned face. his periwinkle eye held the sheen of a crystal, glistening as his long eyelashes framed it with poise. the diamond shaped pupils his eyes possessed could leave you in a trance forever. his open white shirt left his cleavage on display, contrasted with the black corset around his slim, slim waist. his slender legs brought him around with confidence and charisma.additionally, the intricate accessories he wore suited his personality well. all in all, kaeya was a pretty little thing.
all of this lead up to you harbouring romantic feelings for the cavalry caption. how could you not feel anything? he was perfect in every way.
the sound of kaeya’s voice snapped you out of your thinking. “y/n, any missions today?”
“nothing for you i don’t think, i gotta help jean with the paperworks though.” you sighed at the thought of a mountain of paperwork.
“great, well i’m off then you have fun doing whatever.” kaeya smirked at you, poking fun at your dread.
he started to turn around and walk off but you had other plans.
“wait. kaeya-” you speak quickly.
“hm?” he hummed out.
“angels share? 9pm?”
a quizzical look washed over his face before he masked it with one of his cunning smiles.
“alright.”
little did kaeya know you had more in mind than just drinking with him tonight. today would be the day when you finally told him about your little crush on him.
night quickly arrived after a day of working with jean. you were pretty exhausted but still excited about what's about to happen later tonight. when you entered the bar, Kaeya was already waiting for you at the counter talking with the bartender, charles.
“ah, i see mr.l/n is here too. Your usual today as well sir?”
“yah that’d be nice, thanks charles.” you said as you took a seat next to kaeya
“you got it.” charles said as he left to go get your drink.
angel's share was the place you and kaeya loved the most. the kind of noisy background with people chatting. cyrus and jack talking about their gains for today, six-fingered jose still playing his lyre, the song was getting a little old but you didn’t mind, in fact if he changed the song you probably wouldn’t be used to it.
“so, what’s the special occasion for today? you usually don’t invite me to drink on weekdays.” kaeya said while swirling his drink and glancing over at you.
kaeya’s eyes always amazed you. you didn’t know the name of the grey-ish color but you could gaze into them forever. his smooth skin glowed under the dim lighting in the bar. you loved everything about the man, his dark blue hair, his perfectly shaped body, and the fact that you could see a little bit of his clothing. what kaeya said on the first day when you guys met was true, you did feel something for him.
“hm? can i not invite fellow knights to share a drink once in while without a special occasion.”
“well, not wrong there but…you seem like you have ulterior motives for tonight from the way you’re dressing.” kaeya said, smirking at you.
it was true, you purposely chose one of your best outfits today for kaeya, you wanted to impress the man not only from your combat skills, but also your looks. there was no secret you could hide from kaeya. he knew you too well and he always looked right through you. it could have just been kaeya’s observant nature but you like to hope it was something more than that.
“you’re right there, you really do know me too well, maybe i need to start hiding things from you a little huh?”
“you can try but i highly doubt it’ll work in your favour, mr.honorary knight.”
both of you looked at each other with a slight smirk as charles arrived with your drink. after drinking for a good while you could tell kaeya was getting a little tipsy. his movements were unstable, he shaked a little while walking and his eyes started to become hazy. what better time than right now to reveal your true plans for tonight, you were gonna fuck the shit out of the beautiful man. you wanted to hear him scream your name in pleasure as you break him, over and over again.
“why don’t we go somewhere else? y’know, somewhere more, quiet” you suggested while scooting closer to kaeya.
“i wouldn’t mind that.”
as soon as you heard those words you immediately got up and left with kaeya. your plan was going perfectly and the best part is about to come soon. kaeya wasn’t stupid, he was an adult afterall and he knew what you were trying to do. dressing up all sexy like that, getting drinks, going somewhere more “private”, what else could it have been.
the two of you arrived in your house and headed straight for your bedroom. kaeya has been to your house many times for many reasons and he knew where everything was so he didn’t trip or fall.
you placed a light kiss on kaeya’s lips while he laid on your bed.
“wait here~ i’ll be right back.”
this was where things would get, interesting
you opened your fridge to grab a small wooden bowl. the content inside was covered by a small white cloth. after grabbing that you went to grab some rope from a drawer you hid them in because you didn’t know what to say if someone saw those items in your house.
after bringing the items back you put them on the side and pushed kaeya down.
“what’re those?” he asked
(its a surprise tool that’ll help us later.)
“don’t worry about it sweetheart, just lay back and let me do the work alright?”
you brought a blush to kaeya’s face with your flirty words as he gave you a small nod, signalling you consent and approval. you kept invading kaeya’s mouth over and over again, you’re tongue so skillful kaeya was sure this definitely wasn’t your first time. the kisses ended after a while leaving both of you panting and a half an erection in your pants. wanting more, you began to take off kaeya’s uniform. his skin is so beautiful, you could also see his well defined body, just the perfect amount, not too buff, not too skinny. you licked your lips a little bit and looked up at kaeya with a smirk. when you put your mouth onto kaeya’s pink nipples, he squealed a little out of surprise but soft moans soon began to escape from his mouth.
“a-ah~ didn’t know you had this in you, honorary knight.”
“oh i know a lot more tricks that can make you feel good~” you teased.
as you continued to suck on kaeya’s smooth skin, you decided to spice things up a little bit. kaeya yelped as he felt a slight pain around his nipples. you remove your mouth to see a bite mark around it.
“to mark you as mine~”
“tch, you cocky little bastard.”
seeing the tent building up in kaeya’s pants, you decided to take them off and grant it some release. after you took off kaeya’s jeans you saw a small stain at the top of his boxers, showing that he felt good earlier.
“alright... this is where the fun part begins.” you said as you grabbed the ropes you initially put on the floor.
“restraining me? go ahead, let’s see if the honorary knight is all talk or he actually has something up his sleeve.” kaeya taunted
not liking his attitude, you forcefully tied kaeya’s hands behind his back and pushed him to the end of the bed facing you with nothing on but his boxers. now, the mighty kaeya alberich, is at your mercy.
“alright, we can do this in two ways. one, you listen to me, second, i don’t think you’ll like what’ll happen,”
kaeya raised his head a little and looked you dead in the eyes.
“i choose the second option”
you knew kaeya was the bratty type and it’ll only add to the fun to tame him. after hearing his choice you pushed kaeya back to where he was before and uncovered the bowl you had prepared earlier on the side. the bow was filled with medium sized ice cubes and it was till now that kaeya finally realized what you were trying to do.
“ice cubes huh? bring it on.”
“you asked for it~”
you grabbed one of the ice cubes and started to rub it on kaeya’s pecs, making circular motions and slowing moving towards the center where his nipples are.
“f-fuck that’s cold.”
you saw kaeya’s cock twitch a little when you first reached his nipples and you knew he was feeling good. moving on with your plan, you rested the ice cube on kaeya’s nipples and lifted his boxers where his cock is still covered but his asshole is exposed to you. right after that, you grabbed the lube that has been sitting in your nightstand and spread them on your fingers. without mercy you put 2 fingers into kaeya, trying to find his pleasure spot. sooner or later when kaeya started to let out tiny moans you knew you hit your target.
“feels good huh baby boy~”
“y-yah, and so what o-oh fuck~”
kaeya was sure feeling it, to a point where he started stuttering.
the constant teasing got kaeya close to his limit. he couldn’t hold it any longer. but you’re not gonna let him cum that easy are you? of course not, he needed to be punished for what he did earlier.
“a-ah y/n i’m gonna cum i’m gonna cum so hard- wait why'd you s-stop?” kaeya asked
“you decided to be a brat earlier didn’t you~? bad boys get punishment.” you said with a smirk on your face.
kaeya stayed silent, not a word coming out of his mouth, head hung low feeling embarrassed.
“to think such an honourable knight such as you, the cavalry captain of mondstat, is now begging to cum. how shameful of you,” you let out a low chuckle as a provocative smile broke out on your lips, “i wonder what citizens would say if they saw their beloved and oh so admirable kaeya in this position?”
“maybe~ if you begged a little i might reconsider, don’t you think so, pretty boy?”
kaeya finally lost his composure at this point, all he wanted was to cum from your touch.
“fine... i don’t care anymore.” kaeya growled.
“p-please y/n.” kaeya looked up at you with pleading eyes. “i want to c-cum, i want to cum so bad. i should’ve been a good boy from the beginning… i promise i’ll be obedient from now on, j-just please, let me cum…” kaeya begged
“that’s what i thought.”
satisfied with kaeya’s begging, you decided to grant him his release. you added another ice cube to the other side of kaeya’s chest while stroking his dick through his boxers. of course you didn’t forget to keep teasing kaeya’s prostate while you were at it. all these different stimulations made kaeya lose his mind. the male came through his boxers all over the place. semen spilled on his own stomach and chest followed with moans so loud the entire mondstat could hear him.
after he settled himself down a little, kaeya waited for you to untie him. you exchanged a kiss with him while you were doing so, smiling at each other thinking about what just happened. neither of you cared about the mess that you made because you guys were tired. listening to the birds chirp, you fell asleep with the dark blue haired male on your bed.
the two of you woke up in the afternoon to the noises of mondstat. you woke up a little before kaeya and from your point of view he was literally a sleeping beauty. you stroked his hair a little bit, causing him to wake up.
"y/n…good morning handsome."
"right back at you."
both of you giggled a little while holding hands.
"hey kaeya?"
"yes y/n."
"i've been meaning to get this off my chest and i don't think there will be a better time to say it than now."
"well go ahead, i'm all ears."
"you were the only one that ever stuck with me in the knights, everyone was afraid of me due to my strength except for you. you listened to me, you talked to me, and if it weren't for you i probably would've quit the job at the knights already." you took a deep breath and let out the words kaeya were waiting for.
"kaeya alberich... will you he my boyfriend?"
kaeya gave you a small scoff as a reaction and a light kiss to your lips.
"what reason do i have to refuse such a perfect man?."
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hihellogoodbyebruh · 4 years ago
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I Know What You’re Thinking, You’re On My Mind (You’re Right)
Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Plus Size!Reader
Summary: Y/N and Angel are in love and these are different moments in the span of their relationship.
Warning(s): Just a lot of fluffy goodness....okay some angst (it’s me lol) but mostly fluff
Word count: 2,526
AN: This is kind of a songfic, but also not really? I think of it as a bunch of drabbles loosely connected by random parts of a song. Song title and inspo from Come Close by Common ft. Mary J. Blige. The sweetest little fic I’ve ever written. Fat Black girls deserve to be loved loudly. This is for us. As always, questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed. Happy reading lovelies! xo
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Smile, happiness, you could model it And when you feel opposite I just want you to know Your whole, being is beautiful I'ma do the best I can do Cause I'm my best when I'm with you
The sound of a domino being slammed on the table caused several other park goers to turn their heads and see a striking woman jumping out of her seat.
“That’s domino bitches! Y’all really thought you could beat me in dominoes? Shoulda checked my credentials mofos!” Y/N shouted, a huge smile on her face as she talked shit.
The guys around the table all groaned and huffed as she celebrated her win. Coco swore up and down that he would be the winner and Gilly was just as sure that he would be the one. EZ just wanted to play and Angel kept his mouth shut knowing his girl had been playing dominoes with her father and uncles practically all her life.
“Whatever, Y/N. You not seeing me in poker.” Coco grumbled, though he was fighting to keep a smile off his face. He was impressed.
“Well this aint poker is it? Run me my money.” She replied, rubbing her fingers together before holding out her hand.
The men all pulled out their wallets and placed the correct amount of money into Y/N’s hands. She grinned as she fanned herself with the money before draping her body across the smirking Angel’s lap.
“Oh hey there sexy. If you’re nice I might buy you something with this considerable fortune I just won.” Y/N winked.
“You my sugar mama now?” Angel teasingly asked.
“I do taste sweet so I think I fit the description.”
“Damn right you do.” He smirked, before leaning down to kiss Y/N’s lips.
Santo Padre’s mayor, Antonia Pena, had put together a community fair to help raise money for the town and uplift spirits. It was also a great way for local businesses to showcase what they have to offer. Services and items were put into a raffle that everyone who attended the event got entered into. Y/N even managed to convince Felipe to have a little booth to show off his fine cuts of meat and how they could best be used in meals.
Angel was so in awe of her. She managed to pull even his grumpy ass father out of the house and she was constantly a source of light in his life. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky, but he knew he never wanted to let her go. He loved her more than anything and he knew she felt the same about him. She never doubted him or made him feel inadequate. She understood even the ugly parts of him. Didn’t excuse or condone his behavior, but she understood it and always reassured him that she knew he could do better.
“Whatchu staring at?” She asked, after the kiss ended and he kept his intense gaze on her.
“My whole world.” He answered honestly and she felt herself get a little emotional.
“If you make me cry in public, I will hurt you.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He replied, nipping at her shoulder and making her grin.
I know in the past, love Has been sort of hard on you But I see the God in you I just want to nurture it Though this love may hurt a bit
Neither of them had the best track record when it came to relationships. Angel had an awful habit of doing things without thinking about the consequences of his actions. Impulsive isn’t a strong enough word to describe how he is. He runs on emotion a lot of the time. It frustrates Y/N to no end. She doesn’t operate like that. She rarely if ever acts on impulse. She thinks too much. Worries too much about how people will react to her and her actions. Her hesitance to engage in things before she’s run every possible scenario through her head makes Angel want to pull his hair out. He hates seeing her unsure of herself. He makes it his mission to help her just get lost in the moment sometimes. And she tries her hardest to slow him down and make him think more on things before he acts.
His lifestyle also guaranteed their love won’t always be sunshine and roses. The first time Angel got hurt Y/N thought she was going to pass out. The level of panic and fear she felt almost took her down. When she finally got to see him in the hospital bed, she burst into tears. Once he was healed, she tried to pull away from him but he wouldn’t let her. The one time Y/N was verbally and physically accosted in front of Angel, he almost shot someone right in front of her. The need to protect her almost overrode his need to keep her away from the more violent side of himself.
The silence was deafening. Neither one was ready to take the first step and speak. The whole ride back home, Y/N never said a word. Not when Angel was getting chewed out by Bishop or when several people practically gawked at her even as they tried to make it seem like they weren’t. She was silent as she went through her nightly routine and prepared for bed.
It was as she sat on the edge of the bed, preparing to slide under the covers that Angel finally snapped.
“You’re really not gonna fucking say anything?” He practically growled at her, glaring at her from where he stood at the foot of the bed. He had on his usual sleepwear of a tank top and sweats.
She sighed, “What do you want me to say Angel?”
“Anything. Cuss me out, kiss me, or I don’t know, maybe thank me?” He suggested, sarcasm in his voice at the last part because he was clearly exasperated.
She cut her eyes at him fiercely. “Thank you? You want me to thank you?”
“Yes.” He stubbornly confirmed.
She shot up from the bed and spun to face him full on. She had never been so mad at him. “Thank you Angel for causing a bigger scene. Thank you Angel for almost igniting a war between two gangs over one stupid joke. Thank you for putting yourself in harm's way and almost giving me a heart attack. Thank you so much Angel.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. It wasn’t just a stupid joke. You think I care so little about you that I wouldn’t fuck someone up for you?”
“I’ve heard way worse..” She argued, so used to minimizing her pain. Her dismissal of the incident as something trivial made him even more pissed.
“I don’t give a damn what you heard. Aint nobody gonna disrespect you in front of me and think I’m just gonna let that shit slide.”
“You could have killed him.”
“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.” He exploded, making her freeze and stare at him with her mouth slightly open. “You’re mine. I don’t know what kinda cowards you been dealing with before, but I don’t play that shit. There is no joking when it comes to you. Not from some hijo de puta who has the audacity to put his hands on you. He’s lucky the only thing I did was bust him in the head with my pistol.”
“Angel…..” She sighed, her eyes closing as she took in his words. She understood his point but was still uncomfortable with the methods.
He walked over to her and cupped her face in his hands. He kissed her forehead before resting his head on hers. He spoke only after she opened her eyes, “You can be mad. I already know you are, but I’m not apologizing for protecting you.”
She had to get used to being loved and protected so adamantly by someone. So often left to comfort herself and bury her hurt, it took her a while to accept Angel’s form of protection. A part of her kept her guard up waiting for him to turn it against her, but that day never came. Any violent outbursts he had in her presence were never directed at her and so she found herself trusting him whole-heartedly. Her love for him deepened as time moved forward.
You helped me to discover me I just want you to put trust in me
Y/N loved Pops and she enjoyed the family dinners with him and EZ, but she knew he was not the perfect father. He made mistakes and Angel still hasn’t completely dealt with the issues the mistakes left him with. Everything just got buried. She knew when he was starting to feel inadequate or like he didn’t deserve her because he would become even more clingy. He was already very affectionate with her, always having a hand on her back and kissing her head. She loved how open he was, but when he was going through it the touches would have a desperate edge to them. Like he was trying to prove something.
A new episode of Joseline’s Cabaret played on the tv showing off the Puerto Rican Princess’ latest antics. Y/N had on sweats and a tank top as she laid on your back and giggled at the fight on her screen. She doesn't know why she watches that show, but it was entertaining.
Her front door opened and in walked the man she’d been seeing for a year now.
“What did I tell you about leaving this door unlocked?”
“I knew you were coming over so why would I lock it?” She argued, tilting her head back to watch Angel toe off his shoes and take off his kutte.
“You’re so hard headed.” He slapped the outside of her thigh and leaned in for a kiss before lying in between her legs. His head rested on her stomach and her hands immediately began running through his hair. His hands ran over her thighs as he buried his face in her belly and just breathed her in.
“You walked right in so obviously I was right.” Her hands moved from his hair to slide down his back, feeling for any new bruises. “How was your day? Do I gotta kick someone’s ass for messing with my man?” She asked, a teasing tone to her words even though she was kinda being serious.
“I’m all good, mi dulce.” He responded, already knowing her touches were to comfort him but also give herself some peace of mind that he was with her and he was still whole.
It was quiet for a moment before Angel propped his chin on her belly and looked at her. She brought her attention from the television to him. There was a gentle look in his eyes, full of love but also a vulnerability that made her heart clench.
“You love me right?” He gripped her hips tightly as he searched her eyes for the truth in her words.
Her eyes widened at his question. “Of cour-”
He interrupted her. “Because I love you so damn much, querida. I know I’m not easy, but I try to be better for you.”
“Angel…” Her hand gently caressed his cheek as she softly smiled at him. “You are my favorite person in this whole world. You love me like no other and I’ll always love you. Never forget that. And when you do, I’ll be here to remind you.” She leaned forward to kiss his lips and felt his grip on her hips loosen.
The two shared loving kisses for several minutes before he pulled away and kissed her stomach before laying his head back down. His attention finally focused on the television. “What the fuck are you watching?”
She was unable to contain her giggles.
I kind of laugh when you cuss at me The aftermath is you touching me
“Oh, is that funny? Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Not at all gorgeous.” His words and his facial expression did not match.
“Then why are you smirking? I’m as serious as a heart attack. If you miss the ceremony where I’m awarded for my work, we’re gonna have some big problems Reyes.” She threatened, not letting that smirk get to her as it usually did. The club pulled him away a lot but some things she just needed him present for.
“Mmhm…how big?” He asked, still joking around.
“Angel!” She admonished, striking out to punch him in the stomach and making him grunt.
“You know I love when you scream my name. Sexy as fuck.” He growled, before playfully tackling her to the bed. She finally laughed as he kissed and nipped at her neck. He pulled back to look down in her eyes. “Hey, come hell or high water Imma be there. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
The smile she flashed him was bright enough to light the darkest of nights.
I'm tired of the fast lane I want you to have my last name
Dabbing her eyes with a napkin, Y/N smiled as Angel and EZ shared a heartfelt hug after the best man speech. She knew EZ’s speech would be beautiful and she thanked him for his kind words.
“You’re my sister for real now.” He responded, making her wanna cry again but she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before Angel pulled her into a side hug.
“First dance time.” He whispered in her ear, taking her hand and leading her out to the dance floor.
“How does it feel to be Y/N Reyes?” Angel asked, his eyes taking her in. She looked so magnificent in her wedding dress. He wanted to rip it off, but also he couldn’t take his eyes off how good she looked in it. If he shed some tears when she walked down that aisle, who could blame him?
“It feels like the most natural thing in the world. I’m so beyond honored to be Mrs. Angel Reyes.” She responded, her eyes filling with happy tears but she refused to let them fall. She just felt so overwhelmed with happiness. Even though he’d long gotten rid of the jacket, she loved that he actually wore a suit. He hardly ever wore one and it was a damn shame. He looked so delicious she couldn’t wait for them to get back home.
Y/N found herself really taking the moment in. Their family and friends watched them with huge smiles on their faces. She couldn’t keep her eyes off Angel for long as he held her in his arms, his hands always making her feel safe. This was her life and he was her future.
Her eyes twinkled as she asked him, “Ready for forever?”
Come close to me, baby (Yeah, love) Let your love hold you (Let me hold you tonight, babe) I know this world is crazy (It gets crazy, but I'll be right here) What's it without you? (We gon' make it, I love you, I love you, I love you)
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junhuiste · 4 years ago
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twice twice baby (preview)
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pairing: jake x gn reader x sunghoon
word count: 2200
tags/warnings: fluff, slight angst, college!au, hockey player!jake, ice skater!sunghoon, sports med assistant!reader, slowburn, mutual pining, cursing, slightly suggestive scenes
a/n: this is just a preview of the bigger piece i plan to publish much later, so it pretty much only has jake, sorry hoonists! also gonna address it here while we’re at it, but i wanna apologize to everyone who sent requests in! i have them all plotted, most drafted and written, but i didn’t realize when i moved back home how busy i would be with work, summer classes, and looking for an apartment! i will have them published before the end of summer though! this piece is coming out before only because i wrote it well before finals week lol
taglist: please let me know if you wanna be part of the taglist!
Being in a parallelogram (or was it a dodecagon? A triangle? whatever) with the two notorious ‘Ice Hotties’ at your college, Jake Sim, the captain of the hockey team, and Park Sunghoon, the world class figure skater, is easy. Geometry isn’t that complicated...right?
As you entered into the arena, a cold blast of air struck, prompting you to jump slightly in your tracks, cursing that it was men’s hockey season and not basketball anymore. Albeit arms shivering, knees wobbling, and barely being able to make any strides at all, you weren’t distraught and to some extent trembling because of the ice rink or the ice packs inside the pouch seemingly glued to your waist, or hell, even the unnecessary air conditioner giving its all. Really, did they need to keep that fucking thing on when it was already polar-arctic-adjacent inside the arena? Probably to keep the rink from oozing into water and having Atlantis actually come to fruition...whatever, fuck the cold!
“Y/N, let’s get on it. We’re a bit late.” The head athletic trainer indicated, speed-walking a little too quickly for your liking, but what were you to do when your chest was heaving upon arrival at the ice center? Suck it up? Collapse and crawl into a ball?
Nodding, even though she was practically scurrying and leaving your curtailing ass in the dust, you heightened your pace despite the fact that your legs were about to give out at any second. Weren’t cold spaces supposed to make a solid more rigid, not turn your legs to jelly?
The both of you finally reached the area where the players were situated to greet the head and assistant hockey coaches.
“This is Y/N,” your trainer (whom insisted you just skip the formalities and call her Mina) motioned to you, slightly yet noticeably panting, “a first year, but they’ve done men’s basketball, women’s soccer and some gymnastics last semester. They know their stuff!”
“Wouldn’t doubt it.” The head coach reaches out to grip your hand firmly.
“Pleasure to meet y—“ once more today you jump, this time not shaken by the frozen tundra or by the vehemently boisterous buzzer, though it was much more thundering than the buzzer at the basketball court for some reason, but by the announcers cheering, “first year, number three, co-Captain, Jake Sim!”
And the crowd? They didn’t just go wild, no, they were literally cacophonous, the ground beneath and the arena stands rumbling, practically rivaling the San Andreas fault. Craning your neck to look around the oval shaped space and just how many students from your school, clad in university regalia, were present to see guys battle it out with plastic sticks on frozen water, even that, the entire scene wasn’t what had your heart nearly palpitating out of your chest.
First year, number three, co-Captain, Jake Sim. Now that was enough to warrant a blood pressure monitor...and possibly a defibrillator.
Almost giving yourself whiplash from turning around too quickly, it was hard not to gape at the boy coasting across the ice, waving at the all too excited crowd. And even through his helmet and from across the rink, you could make out his dark, glimmering irises, like how the sun’s edges would peak through from behind during an eclipse. It was kind of charmingly sickening actually, that someone could be as radiant as he was, under all the bulky gear, even despite the temperature. It wasn’t convenient actually that it had to be men’s hockey this time, that you, as the athletic trainer’s sports medicine intern had to attend the games for. Yeah, it was for credits. Sure, it was for intern experience...but what was the point if you only expected to make a fool out of yourself trying to tend to Jake and his teammates’ possible injuries?

It wasn’t fair, actually, that you were hopelessly in like with Jake Sim and that he didn’t even know your name when you were in the same physics class. To be fair though, it was a class of about 400, an infamous weeder course that crushed the poor souls of innocent underclassmen, so to have him direct any sort of attention your way, even a mere glimpse, would be laughable. That was what happened when you sat in the back, though.
Of course it just had to be Jake Sim that completely bewitched you, and he didn’t have to twirl any fingers or fixate any potions to have you just so damn spellbound. All he had to do was show up to freshman orientation with that stupid inviting grin of his, and that dumb glint in his eye that no one else seemed to possess. No, of course he just had to show up and be almost too cordial to everyone in your orientation group, even though all the other students, including you, could not give a single damn about the campus tour. And yes, of course, he just had to have the masses absolutely enamored with him, both upper and underclassmen alike.
Consider all of that, with Jake’s insane schedule, not that you knew anything specific, just that he had games on Tuesdays and Thursdays, coupled with daily practices, but you were only privy to that information because Mina always gave you the athletic teams’ agendas for the month. So yes, trying to garner any attention from Jake was like floating right smack in the middle of the Pacific, sending some sort of signal through a marine radio, and getting no response back. Not a hint that anyone was coming. No helicopters whirring above, no boats sent out ashore. What would he want to do with the first-aid kid, the person that sat in the back, the person that was paying attention to something else at the moment, and not the fact that they had to observe players carefully for potential injuries?
Well, sorry to Jake’s teammates and Mina, but you just couldn’t pry your eyes off of number three. How he skated in such an agile manner while simultaneously defending assertively was certainly an image now seared into your mind. The way he commanded the court was just so—“You paying attention? Are you okay today?” Mina snapped you out of your nonsensical trance.
“Yeah, yeah of course! Always on my toes like you said...” your eyes told a different story, and deceived you at that.
“And there’s number three, Sim, with the first goal!”
Jake skated backwards to high five his teammates and to prepare to defend, and it was definitely a sight to see him so animated, feeling right where he should be in his domain.
“Ah, I see. Number three is it? I heard he’s a beast on the ice,” Mina nudged and winked slyly at you, “anyway, pay attention ‘cause if your little ice boy gets hurt you know we gotta move quickly.”
It was already enough to have your friends taunt you about your silly adolescent infatuation with Jake, now to have your mentor in on it too? Mina was right though, you were here to wrap ankles and tend to bruised hips, not ogle at the team captain.
“Gotcha. On my toes!” you winked back at her, semi-ready to do your job. If you could predict injuries before they even happened during the basketball and soccer games you should be more than capable of caring for the hockey players. Whipping your head around to finally and legitimately focus on the members, you really wished you hadn’t.
There he was, number three, adept and dodging the defensive players, with the puck sliding in tandem with his stick. Then, it happened all too quickly, in a tenth of a second, too much for everyone spectating to comprehend.
BAM.
Suddenly, Jake was on his back after he and the opposing player too combatively collided into each other. You blinked once and now he was supine on ice, clutching a leg to his chest. His teammates and the referees hastily surrounded him, but you could not watch anymore, you had to do what you were here for.
Running past both the coaches, lamenting what the hells and go go go! at Mina, you dashed to the edge of the rink, about to enter and slip on the ice, but stopped yourself, because you didn’t have skates on. Fuck. Mina and you always ran to the scene of the injury, and you’d only dealt with hardwood floors and grass fields, but never ice. There was no reason for you to just stand around though, as Jake was being lifted by the referees. As much as you wanted to glue your eyes to the catastrophe, you sprinted to the locker room to fetch the cooler.
“Everyone, move!” You shouted at the towering players standing in your way. Setting the cooler on the floor, you directed some of them to assemble a few of the chairs they were sitting on for a makeshift cot for Jake to rest his leg on. Nervously yet rapidly, you dug into your backpack for a splint, pre-wrap, and medical tape.
When you stood back up, Jake and the referees were at the rink’s entrance, with Mina extending her arms to steady him once he transitioned from ice to linoleum. And through all this he maintained the same tender-hearted curve on his face, beaming at Mina and thanking the referees.
One of Jake’s coaches and Mina propped Jake around their shoulders as he hopped on one foot to your nearby station. Assisting them in getting Jake to sit down, you were shaking slightly out of feverishness and hormones, even though it was the perfect temperature for snowfall, but forming a resistance to doing that was almost impossible.
Christ, you weren’t like this when Taehyun tore his ligament last semester at the basketball semi-finals, or when Yuna sprained her toe out on the field, yet it was due to that certain someone that you just could not find it within you to operate as you usually did. It was imperative that you got out of your own head; Jake was merely another athlete you had to tend to and someone you, quite frankly, had to get over, like now.
Once Jake was seated with his right leg propped up on the opposite chair, he took his helmet off and handed it to his coach standing guard next to him.
“Mina, you guys got this?” The coach hesitantly asked your trainer.
“Absolutely nothing to worry about, Coach Kim! We’ve seen worse than this; we’re good, right Y/N?”
You gave Coach Kim a measly thumbs up and he rushed to get back to the rest of the team to continue with the game, deliberating who would substitute in now that their best player was on the sidelines.
While Mina undid Jake’s skates and kneepads, you assessed him before you could get started, asking him what kind of pain he had in his leg, how much it hurt on a scale of 1-10, and if he could wiggle his toes.
Sharp and kind of aching, I think. 8.5-ish, actually maybe just 8. Toes wiggling.
“Um, okay. Good that your toes are still intact, which means you’re gonna be okay, but is there any other part of your body that hurts?” You tried not to sound like a complete buffoon, trying to enunciate your words properly like you did with several other injured athletes; Jake shouldn’t have been any different. He was, though.
“Yeah, I feel like there’s a bruise on the right side of my body somewhere,” he said, motioning to his abdomen.
“Okay...I’m gonna take your shoulder pads off and you have to take your jersey off so we can ice it, is that cool with you?” Your brain was bouncing off the walls at the mention of “take” and “off”. Come on, this wasn’t fucking NASA, although it might as well have been, as he was a universe and a half to you (in a melodramatic way of sorts).
“Yeah, yeah—for sure. Thanks.” Jake flashed an acknowledging smile, to which your cheeks heated up at. There was an injured boy in front of you—no time for shits and giggles and teenage elation.
As you aided Jake in removing his shoulder pads and jersey, he winced a bit, while trying to hide it at the same time. 

“Are you good? I’ll get some ice on that soon, I promise.” You gradually eased into your ‘medic’ mode, trying to expel as much of your nerves as humanly possible.
“Yeah I’m okay, just hurts a bit. Thanks again,” he could not stop giving you that demure yet brazen demeanor, and to be around a smiling Jake meant a tense you, regardless if your subconscious plan to initiate Nerves Exodus was kind of working.
When Mina stood up, all finished with undoing his skates and knee pads, she asked Jake to repeat what he stated about his pain earlier to you back to her. Before walking to where the coaches and other players were, she chaffed at you, with a mischievous lilt to her words, “you can handle it from here right? The star player’s in your hands.”
Audibly, you ‘mhmmed’ her, and when you were out of Jake’s sight, rolled your eyes, making sure she noticed that. You were glad though, that Mina was your trainer and not some old, stern fart like she had when she interned in your same position; it made for much more “effective” mentoring and communication, especially because she left you alone with the athletes, so you were able to think of what to do next for yourself, and if there were ever any mistakes—which there were none of to date—she would help you work through them.
Holy shit, Mina left. It was just you and Jake.
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maximons · 3 years ago
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Into The Sanctum
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Chapter Summary: Doctor Strange brings Y/n into the sanctum as he explains to her the situation at hand. However, the introductions to the team don’t go very smoothly.
Word Count: 3,021
A/N: Here we are with chapter 2! This one is a lot shorter than the first, and honestly the rest of the chapters will likely be around this length lol Hope you enjoy!
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
“Y/n Fenton. 26 years old, acquired her abilities in 2019 after a lab accident.” Wong started explaining as he brought up multiple images and video clips of you throughout the years, using his magic. “Known abilities; Able to switch between human and ghost form at will, Invisibility, Intangibility, Flight, Able to overshadow other humans, Super Strength and Speed, Can summon ghost energy in a ‘ghost ray’, and Cryokinesis.” The sorcerer finished, leaving everyone in a moment of silence, not sure how to proceed after all that information.
“Whoa, that’s awesome.” Peter said in awe, but no-one else shared his excitement.
“We’re going to recruit a ghost...to fight other ghosts?” Loki was the first to ask.
“Fight fire with fire and all that.” Strange responded.
“How do we know we can trust her? Isn’t she one of them?”
“Yes, but she’s also human. Besides, just because she’s a ghost, doesn’t mean she’s automatically bad.” Wanda now piped up. “And you’re one to talk, Loki. Aren’t you technically a Frost Giant?”
“Yes I am, and look how well I turned out. Not exactly a good sales pitch.”
“Alright, that’s enough.” Strange interrupted. “This isn’t up for debate. The ghost realm is bleeding into our world more and more every minute, and Fenton is our best shot.” Strange slipped on his sling ring and began opening a portal. “I’m going to talk to her.” Before anyone could respond, Strange stepped through, portal closing behind him.
Everyone stood in silence for a moment, before Peter spoke up. “C’mon, I can’t be the only one who thinks this is cool.”
“The very fabric of our reality being at risk and our world being overtaken by ghosts is ‘cool’ to you, Peter?” Wong asked, causing Peter to scratch the back of his neck shyly.
“Well, when you put it like that...”
Amity Park
You and Tucker were walking down the street, heading to your favorite donut shop. You stared at your phone as you walked, not really worried about bumping into anyone or anything as you used your powers to subtlety phase through them.
“Hear anything?” Tucker asked and you shook your head.
“No, haven’t heard in hours now. She’s really mad.” 
“Well, you did manage to almost get yourself killed the other day.”
“I’ve been doing this for years now, I know what I’m doing. Besides, I’m already literally half dead.”
“Not the point.” Tucker sighs. “C’mon, you’ve been dating her for over a year, and have been best friends for even longer. You should know her by now. She’s scared.”
“I’m not faulting her for being scared, but I can’t keep going through fight after fight with her for just doing my job.”
“Is it really your job though?” Tucker shrugged, causing you to stop in your tracks. Him following a second later. “I’m just saying, there are a bunch of heroes back now after the blip. It wouldn’t kill you to take a few days off.”
“They can’t do what I do. And they don’t know what we know.”
“You don’t gotta be all cryptic” Tucker laughed and you couldn’t help but chuckle along.
“Yeah, maybe not.” You shrugged. “I don’t know though, we’re the only ones who really know how to deal with these ghosts. I love helping people, but I’m tired of this too sometimes. I’d love to be able to leave Amity Park, really start my life, but...I can’t. All the ghosts come from here, and I gotta do my best to keep it that way.”
Tucker opened his mouth to form a response, but before he could, a bright orange light appeared. The light began to form into a portal and a man with white and black hair, dressed head to toe in blue robes and a read cape, appeared.
“Y/n Fenton?” He asked, which took you and Tucker aback. You looked to your best friend before looking back at the man.
“Uh, who’s asking?”
“Oh, sorry, I’m Doctor Stephen Strange, and-”
“Wait, that’s you?” You interrupted, eyes wide.
“Yes? I assume you’ve heard of me then?”
Your eyes hardened at this. You knew the name Dr. Strange a little too well. He, along with Iron Man, had been part of the reason behind the death of your parents, having been part of that fateful fight in New York. You knew logically that this man didn’t go out of his way to kill your parents, and that he likely didn’t start that fight, but still. You didn’t appreciate the reminder. 
“Yeah. I have.”
Strange noticed the shift in your tone and tilted his head in confusion. You two stood in a stand off for a few moments before Tucker coughed beside you.
“Sorry, but uh, you’re one of the Avengers right?” He asked as he started to fanboy.
“I guess you can say I was, though they aren’t really around anymore.”
“Still, that’s so cool! Hey, did you know Iron Man before he-”
“What do you want?” You interrupted as you crossed your arms, eyes still glaring at the wizard.
Strange regained his composure as he continued. “I need you to come with me. It’s quite literally a matter of life or death.”
Your hard glare faded and in turn you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Ghosts are pouring into our world, their reach is now far outside of Amity Park.” Your eyes widened when the wizard said this. You figured you shouldn’t be surprised that Strange knew of this, but you really weren’t sure how to react. “And I know you’re a little more than familiar about ghosts...considering your biology.” Now you really didn’t know how to react. You dropped your arms as you tilted your head towards Tucker.
“So much for that day off.”
Sanctum Santorum
Wanda stepped out of the room as the back and forth between the boys started. She needed a moment to herself to think, she needed air. She made her way to the rooftop and leaned on the edge, looking over the city.
She knew that her life would always entail having to deal with potential world ending threats. It was that way when she was an Avenger, and even more so now after becoming the Scarlet Witch. It got tiring, but she wouldn’t give up the responsibility. Not after Westview. Besides, it beat the alternative that Agatha had predicted for her, destroying the world.
But damn, a break would be nice.
Ghosts? Seriously? She guessed that she really shouldn’t be surprised that they exist, over the last year she’s seen some crazy stuff, but ghosts seemed like a scary concept. And not in a ‘Halloween spooky’ kind of way, it was more of a fear of the unknown. If all ghosts had the same capabilities as the Fenton girl had, she had no idea how she would be able to combat that.
Speaking of the Fenton girl, she couldn’t help but be intrigued. From what she’s seen and heard, the girl knew what she was doing, so she failed to see why she and the rest of the team had to get involved. Still, she figured that they should do whatever they could to help stop this threat.
She also agreed with Peter in that she was ‘awesome’, but she wasn’t about to voice that.
She took a deep breath as she bowed her head, calming her nerves. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad. Maybe it could be easily fixed and they could all get back to their lives quickly. She knew that was unrealistic, but she had to have a sliver of hope every now and again or she’d go insane.
“Wanda!” She heard Peter’s voice in her head, way too loudly. She cringed as she held her head.
“Peter, we’ve talked about this. You don’t need to be so loud.”
“Sorry, Wanda. Doctor Strange told me to tell you to come back down. Y/n is here.”
“Okay, thank you Peter.” She felt the boy’s presence leave her mind as she picked her head up. She shook her head, ridding herself of the pain while preparing herself as she headed downstairs.
A Few Moments Before
The telltale orange sparks started forming in the main hall of the Sanctum. Soon after, a portal opened and Strange had stepped out, but this time was followed by two people. A woman who was looking around in a mix of confusion and awe, and a man who seemed to be bursting with excitement.
“Whoa! What was that!? That was so cool!” The man turned to the woman in excitement. “Was that magic!?”
“Yeah Tuck, but we gotta be cool here, okay?” The woman told ‘Tuck’ in a hushed whisper.
“Right, sorry.”
“Don’t worry, I had the same reaction.” Peter piped up with a smile. He walked over to the two new figures, hand stretched out. “I’m Peter Parker.”
“Tucker Foley.” Tucker’s smile reappeared as he shook the boy’s hand excitedly.
Peter turned to the woman standing next to him. “And you’re Y/n Fenton, right?” You chuckled as you grabbed Peter’s hand, shaking it as well.
“I guess I’m famous around here.” 
“We just found out about your existence an hour ago, but I suppose you can call it fame.” Loki piped up, and you turned to him. Eyes widening a second later.
“Holy shit! Aren’t you the guy who led the alien invasion in New York?”
“That was over ten years ago, darling, let’s leave the past in the past.” Loki shrugged. “Besides, I’m doing the whole ‘hero’ thing now.”
“And how’s that working out for you?”
“It varies.��
“Okay that’s enough for the introductions, now-” Strange started before Peter cut him off.
“Wait, what about Wanda?” 
“Get her down here while I catch our new guests up.” Peter nodded as he began to call to Wanda with his mind. “Now, Y/n, you’ve done a lot of good over the last few years. Keeping the ghostly threat contained to Amity Park while the rest of the world remains none the wiser is quite impressive.”
“Aw, thanks.” You smirked with a shrug.
“However, those efforts might have only delayed this.” Before you could ask what the wizard was talking about, he brought up an illusion showing ghosts starting to spill through tears that were seemingly in mid air. “The Ghost Realm is starting to tear into our own.”
“Wait, the what?” You asked, causing Strange to falter slightly.
“The Ghost Realm?” He responded with a raise of his brow.
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“Um, where all of the ghosts are coming from? The source of your powers? You’ve been dealing with it for years-”
“Oh!” You shouted, finally realizing. “Yeah, we’ve been calling that the Ghost Zone.” You started to chuckle, Tucker joining, but everyone else remained silent for a moment.
“Right...” Strange proceeded. “Well the ‘Ghost Zone’ is starting to become a problem everywhere. We need your help.”
You coughed as you regained your composure, turning serious. “How is this even possible?”
“We were hoping you knew.”
“Look, I might know a lot about the Ghost Zone, but I don’t know everything. I’ve kinda just been dealing with it as it came for the last five years.”
“Well, it looks like you’re about to get a lot more proficient.” Loki said. Before Y/n could respond though, a new presence entered the room.
Wanda walked into the main hall where she found everyone in a heated discussion. She walked in further when she finally spotted the two new faces. A nerdy looking man, and the woman who she recognized as Y/n Fenton. She took a moment to observe her. She was in casual clothing, a white t-shirt covered with a red sweat jacket with jeans and red sneakers. A brown messenger bag slung across her body, indicating that she was on her way somewhere before she was brought here.
Wanda had only really seen Y/n in her Phantom form, since that was the only relevant part of her that they needed to know at the time, but she couldn’t help but think that the human side was captivating as well.
Wait a minute, what?
No, she wasn’t supposed to be looking at other people like this. Not after Vision. She never even thought someone else could turn her head again for one, but she also felt like she was betraying Vision and all they had by even simply staring at someone else for too long.
She coughed, as she tried to get rid of those thoughts, but in doing so she garnered the attention of everyone else in the room.
“Oh, good. Y/n, this is the Scarlet Witch. Otherwise known as Wanda Maximoff.” Strange had introduced her, and she gave a small smile along with a shy wave in response.
You, however, did not have the same welcoming response. You straightened up as your face tightened, eyes widening slightly. You recognized that name. “Wanda Maximoff...as in ‘Westview’ Wanda Maximoff?” You asked the room, however your eyes never left Wanda, who’s face now dropped.
The room stood in silence for a moment before Peter spoke up. “Yeah, um, we don’t really bring that up.”
“Yeah? Well, I am.” Before anyone could register what was happening, You changed into Phantom and blasted a powerful ghost ray towards Wanda. 
The blast hit her square on, knocking her to the ground. The witch shook the attack off quickly as she stood up. The awe that she had previously while staring at you was now replaced with anger, as she shifted from her current outfit into the Scarlet Witch. Hands and eyes glowing red, as your own hands and eyes glowed green. The two women stared each other down as the men stared in varying states of shock. 
Tucker was the only one who seemed to know what was going on as he brought his hand up and grabbed the bridge of his nose. “Oh man.”
“What the hell was that for!?” Wanda asked, almost shouting in anger. Your face didn’t waver however. You gritted the next words out, as you were also seething in anger.
“My sister was there.”
Everyone stood in silence for a few moments after the revelation, not sure how to continue. Wanda remained standing, but the red faded from her eyes and hands. Her gaze fell downwards for a moment as she straightened up. After no-one spoke for several moments, you continued. “I hope your little sitcom fantasy was worth it, cause Jazz is still going to therapy because of you.” You scoffed. “You didn’t even have the decency to give her a speaking part. Just one of your little extras.” 
Wanda sighed as tears started to spring to her eyes at the reminder. She shifted back into her normal clothing. “Look, I really am sorry for the pain I caused. I truly didn’t know at the time.”
“Sure you didn’t.” You scoffed before turning to address the rest of the room. “She’s a fucking terrorist. Actually, now that I think about it, what the hell am I doing in a room with all of you!?” 
You looked around briefly before pointing at Loki harshly. “You’re a fucking psychopath who almost took over the world!” Loki shot his hands up in surrender as you turned to point at Strange next.
“You were part of the fight in New York that killed my parents!” Strange’s eyes widened slightly at the revelation, but he didn’t get to say anything as you turned to Wong. 
“I know you were there too!” You finished by landing on Peter. 
“And you-” You cut yourself off as you realized you didn’t have anything against the kid. Still, you were stubborn and too into your rant to stop there. “I actually don’t know anything about you, but I’m sure you’re no good if you’re hanging around these freaks!”
“We’re the freaks?” Loki asked incredulously, as he couldn’t help himself. “Sweetheart, you’re basically dead.”
“Better being dead than a fucking murderer.” You seethed out. “I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t care. My responsibility is to my home and to those I love, that’s it. I never signed up for this life, and even if I did, I definitely wouldn’t wanna work with any of you.” You began to float and move over to Tucker, who had been watching the whole exchange in silence. You grabbed his arm, taking you up with you. “Good luck, sounds like you’re gonna need it. I’m out of here.”
With that you began to fly up, Tucker in your arms. You sped up heading towards the ceiling. You were about to go intangible to phase out of the building, when suddenly, your ghost ring appeared around your waist and separated, turning you back into a human.
Your eyes widened as you and Tucker began to plummet back to the floor, but before you both hit it, red wisps surrounded you both, breaking the fall. They didn’t last long though, as a second later the disappeared, making you both hit the ground harshly. Tucker rubbed his arm as you brought your hands up to look at them, wondering what happened.
“What the hell was that!?” You asked as you looked back up to the people in the room.
“I went into your mind and triggered your transformation.” Wanda answered, and you could’ve sworn you saw a slight smirk on her face. Your face hardened once again.
“Stay the hell out of my head.”
“Alright, enough!” Strange shouted, finally putting an end to this. “Y/n, I understand your hesitation. I do. You don’t have to like us, you don’t even have to trust us, but believe me when I say we cannot do this without you. You may be angry at the world, hell all of us are, but we need you to put that aside.” 
You stood up, offering a helping hand to Tucker, but your gaze remained on Strange. You sighed, knowing you couldn’t ignore the severity of the situation. No matter how much you wanted to. You hesitated for a moment before finally speaking up.
“Okay. So what do we do now?”
130 notes · View notes
bigskydreaming · 4 years ago
Text
And one more bit from the “Kings of the Sky” AU albeit several installments in, because I just......don’t know when or why I stumbled into an obsession with the dynamics between Dick and Jason and Cass as the eldest three Wayne siblings, but its there, its real, and its happening. I’ve stopped fighting it. I just....enjoy writing those three being dumb siblings who are dumb like so, so much.
Anyway, in this AU series, Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia and die, but rather eventually joins Dick at Titans Tower more regularly and is Flamebird. Both are closer with Bruce here than in canon because Dick helped Bruce and Jason get through the Garzonas stuff and Jason helped kick Bruce in the direction of Dick and adoption papers right after the Brother Blood storyline. Then Cass is actually the third to join the family, by way of Babs, and she’s Batgirl and then Black Bat, but there’s a period of time when its just Dick, Jason and Cass as the Wayne kids. 
(PS - this is the same series as where Jason ends up with his own age group of Titans, and accidentally falls into a love quadrangle of doom that is absolutely NOT a polycule dammit, with Tom Bronson (Tomcat), Ray Terrill (The Ray) and Todd Rice (Obsidian). Which amuses his brother and sister to no end).
Tim and Duke are both next, but sorta at the same time? Like Tim’s story takes a sharp turn when Robin II never dies and obviously is Flamebird now like Robin I is Nightwing, and Tim winds up in foster care after his parents die differently than in canon. Duke is also in foster care at this time, though a different placement, and while no Robin has died here, its been awhile since there’s been one in Gotham, and to kids who grew up with the idea of there always being a Robin, that feels weird and wrong ultimately. 
So Tim and Duke both hit on the idea of being Robin like, at around the same time and totally disconnected from one another, and that leads to them both joining the Batfam around the same time, and co-sharing Robin until Damian arrives much later and they both move on to new identities. But there’s no real confusion between Robins because Duke is the daytime Robin with more yellow coloring in his costume and Tim is the nighttime Robin with more red, and people say Red or Yellow if they ever need to differentiate which Robin they’re talking about. Anyway.
************
So [Tim and Duke] run into trouble eventually and then when running from trouble they run into each other and they’re like….huh. Awkward. And then they decide well, might as well both run from trouble in the same direction, I guess. So they do.
“Did you have a plan for dealing with these guys?” Tim yelled at Duke. The other boy looked back over his shoulder briefly and gave what would probably have been a half-shrug if he didn’t awkwardly try to barrel-roll over a car two seconds later.
“Umm, sorta?”
“How sorta are we talking about? Maybe the two of us together could fill in the gaps in the plan and come up with one full plan?”
“Uh yeah, no, its not that kinda sorta. I meant sorta in the sense that I thought I had a plan but it didn’t work and that’s why these guys are after me. Sooooo…”
“Not helpful, basically.”
“Yeah. Pretty much. And hey, I don’t hear you offering up a plan! Did you even have one at all?”
“Uh….I mean I kinda didn’t think I was going to need one because I figured some kid running around in a mask making a nuisance of himself was the sorta thing that was bound to attract Batman. And so I was just pretty much running around until that happened, and then I’d make a case for how I obviously need training and Gotham needs Robin and if its not me its likely to be someone else trying eventually anyway so why not be me?”
Duke paused just long enough to squint at him. “That’s a terrible plan.”
Tim rolled his eyes. The effort didn’t pair well with his huffing and over-all exertions from running for his life and all that, but necessity demanded. “Yeah I know, that’s why I never said it was a plan! It was mostly….more…idea-ish.”
“I’m just saying, I thought I was doing this wrong, but at least I had a plan! I mean yeah, it might have ended up with me accidentally busting in on what I thought was a bunch of Riddler’s henchmen setting up some kind of clue thing, only it was actually a bunch of Intergang type guys with alien space guns or some shit all dressed up as Riddler henchmen for some reason? I dunno what they were trying to do honestly, but so yeah I might have ended up running away on foot from like twenty of them and some kind of hovercycle -”
“I’m going to cut you off there and say wherever this is going its probably not the superior vantage point I think you think you have.”
Meanwhile, Batman was not going to be coming because he’s off on a JLA mission. However, in his absence Dick and Jason are in town filling in, and they finished taking out the bad guys several blocks back and caught up to whomever was running from them, figured out the situation and are currently sitting on the edge of a rooftop watching them realize they’re totally lost and trying to figure out where to go from here. Mostly because Dick and Jason are incredibly amused listening to their back and forth and also just…this whole situation.
Dick justifies not piping up to let them know they’re safe now by saying this is good intel gathering so we can offer Bruce our assessment as to whether they’re gonna try and keep doing this whether we train them or not, and also how they handle this whole being lost situation. Not knowing they don’t have to run anymore isn’t going to hurt them and really, this is a good field exercise almost.
Jason justifies not piping up by saying this is fucking hilarious and I will hurt you if you end this any sooner than we have to, I deserve this, I had a rough week.
Which is right around the time that Cass pipes up from where she’s been lurking unnoticed behind them this whole time: “Oh no. Was it Tom? Or Ray? Or was it Todd?”
And she does it right in Jason’s ear so he kinda aborted-shrieks and almost falls off the roof except Cass is ready for that and grabs his arm to steady him.
“I hate when you do that!” Jason growls in an attempt to cover up how badly she got him and also because he hates when she does it which is why she does it a lot. Again, they don’t hate each other at all, but they do seem to act like it a lot, and neither of them is entirely sure why. They kinda just started doing it and have each been trying to get the other back ever since and ended up locked in an unending spiral of gotcha-gotchaback, except, y’know, Batfam style.
Dick occasionally picks sides just to muddy the waters. And then he randomly switches sides without warning, so neither of them ever wants to risk getting too peeved at him even when he’s helping the other, because that might push him fully over to the other side and leave them permanently outnumbered, so they’re kinda stuck, which is exactly as he likes it, lol.
“Why are you Satan,” Jason hisses dramatically as he gets up and stomps over to the other side of the roof to sulk, lest she almost knock him off again. Its not the almost falling part that bothers him, its that she’s the one that snatches him to safety each time. She’s like a freaking cat toying with a - yeah not going there, just blaming Selina. Knew them hanging out was going to be bad news for me somehow, he gripes.
Cass just shrugs and smoothly sits down cross-legged right where she is, grinning Cheshire-cat style at him from there. “Childhood trauma,” is her answer.
“Great, and now you’re stealing my comeback on top of it?! Is nothing sacred to you?”
She offers another shrug. He would like to return those for store credit please. Maybe get something useful instead. “Haven’t decided yet. Babs is still helping me explore my options. We’re going alphabetically and we’re only on  the E-religions.”
“God, you’re the worst. I can’t believe you ruined sisters for me.”
“You already used that same line last week when you came out of your room still half-asleep and she was just sitting directly across from your door waiting and staring unblinking and you yelped and dropped your laptop on your toe, and then cursed so loud that B came running around the hall thinking we were being invaded,” Dick reported idly, still perched in the same position he’d been in all along and watching the boys below them. “Just in case you thought no one noticed when you recycle.”
“I noticed too,” Cass added solemnly.
“I have no siblings,” Jason intoned. He threw up his hands dramatically and then loudly jumped down to the street below with a little help from the fire escape. It drew both Duke and Tim’s attention and they startled before realizing it was Flamebird. And that he’d landed on the street and was stalking past them while barely acknowledging them. And that that was Nightwing standing on the roof now with his hands on his hips yelling after him.
“Oh, reeeeeeal subtle. You’re not having fun anymore so you gotta make sure nobody else does either. Wow, the Brat-like behavior, just jumped out of the shadows with that one!”
And that was Flamebird not even turning around and just yelling back. “I HAVE NO SIBLINGS!”
And also they were both pretty sure that was Batgirl crouched on the roof next to Nightwing now, and she was…..sticking her tongue out at Flamebird’s back? No, Batgirl very much definitely was sticking out her tongue, that wasn’t in doubt, it was more just….very unexpected to see.
What was happening right now?
********
Eventually Tim and Duke have inevitably worn down [Bruce’s] resistance to training them by insisting they’re gonna keep doing this and if its not them its gonna be someone sooner or later anyway. Because, as they put it, you guys may not know this but Gotham’s gotten used to Robins by now and it freaks people out not to see one and Robin’s as important as Batman really and there needs to be a Robin and its not just us that will think that, like look at the fact that already two of us had the exact same idea, huh? And also, we’re gonna keep doing it anyway, sooooo….there’s that.
And then Cass vouches that they’re both 100% serious about that.
And then Dick vouches that as a former determined daredevil kid that was absolutely going to keep doing the same thing no matter whether you’d helped me or not, B, I also am of the assessment that these two mean it all the way.
And not to be left out and just to have something to contribute but also grumpy because his brother and sister are picking on him and he’s eighteen going on ten, Jason throws in: “And my assessment is that they both definitely seem dumb enough to keep doing this without help anyway and they definitely need help or they definitely will die, I’d give it a month, month and a half tops.”
And then Bruce dryly thanks his children for their contributions, their keen insights in this matter have been absolutely invaluable, he has no idea how he would make a decision here without it.
“Oooh, a rare sighting of Bat-snark in the wild. Someone call Nat-Geo quick, maybe he’ll do it again,” Dick says.
Bruce sighs. Duke and Tim look like they’re trying to decide if they’re allowed to be amused or if that’s also part of some weird Bat-test that they’re probably taking without even knowing it.
So Tim and Duke move in, start training together, and then also get sent to school together and it takes a month or so of settling in before they decide whether or not they actually are happy about this. There’s a period of deciding they’re supposed to be bitter rivals who snipe at each other back and forth across the dining table at every available opportunity, but that changes the first night Dick and Jason come back from the Tower since Tim and Duke have moved in and where Cass is also home instead of at the Clocktower with Babs.
Since all three of the older Batkids, upon seeing Tim and Duke squabble at dinner, decide to obnoxiously coo about how adorable it is watching the kids play. Which pretty instantly cements Duke and Tim as realizing their best chance of surviving the sudden acquisition of three older superhero ninja foster siblings who all can be as obnoxious as they are dangerous but also as much as they are - Duke and Tim are convinced - all quite insane.
A belief further cemented the next morning, with all three of them having spent the night at the Manor as well. Treating Duke and Tim to their first Saturday morning episode of the Cass and Jason show.
In this episode, Jason emerged from his bedroom in his pajamas still but warily peeking his head out first to look both ways down the hall before deciding it was clear…..and then makes it just almost to the end of the hallway leading to the stairs, when Cass drops down from where she’d been waiting perched above the other side of the door, in such a way as to suddenly fill the doorway just in front of him, hanging upside down suspending herself just with her feet wedged above the doorway, all while keeping her hands crossed her chest, a dead-eyed expression on her face, and with her tongue hanging out like she’s some kind of vampire hanging upside down in mid-slumber.
Jason shrieked and stumbled back a foot before catching himself and shoving two fingers in a cross shape in her direction.
“Demon! DEMON! Goddammit, I abjure thee, that’s supposed to fucking do something about having a demon sister, now what the fuck does it take to banish you!?”
“Can’t be banished,” Cass informed him, still upside down. “Can be bought though.”
Jason halted. “What?”
“I’m really surprised you never figured it out,” Dick said from his room further down the hallway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms casually crossed.
“Why did you think she never goes after me?”
Jason swiveled back and forth between his siblings suspiciously, trying to scry both their inscrutable (and in Cass’ case, still upside down) faces for signs they were telling the truth. “You’re telling me that Little Miss Monstrous has been a pain in my ass from day one and the reason she’s never so much as eked a single boo in your direction is you’ve been bribing her all this time?”
Dick shrugged. “Its all about getting in on the ground floor.”
Jason squinted, still unconvinced. “Nuh-uh. No way. You’re just fucking with me. Like if this is for real, what have you been buying her off with?”
Dick smiled beatifically. “Cuddles and hugs.”
“NO! NO! Bullshit! I am NOT falling for this crap again, you are not gonna get me this way this time. I call BS, fuck you, nuh uh, you’re lying out your ass and your ass-face both.”
“Wait, what is this ‘this’ that I did before? What ever are you talking about?”
“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
“Is this about the Care Bear you had when you were fifteen?”
“Shut upppppppppppppppp, I didn’t have a Care Bear then, you’re such a - “
“Oh, I dunno, I’m preeeeetty sure there’s some holiday photos from that year that would say otherwise, pretty definitively in the form of you and your Care Bear….”
“That I only had because you literally just gave it to me as a present solely so that you could claim that I had a Care Bear when I was fifteen, you douchebag!”
“Just because I gave you the Care Bear didn’t mean you had to keep the Care Bear and hold the Care Bear and love the Care Bear, Jay. You chose to do all that.”
“I only kept the damn thing because you’re an asshole who lied about it being a family heirloom so I felt like I had to or I’d be a total jerk. Is nothing sacred to you?”
“I didn’t lie! It is a treasured family heirloom! Its the first Care Bear I gave to my little brother to teach him the important and valuable lesson that Care Bears - say it with me now - “
“Finish that sentence and they will never find your body.”
“CARE!” Cass shrieked from behind him before jumping on Jason’s back and bearing him down to the floor in an undignified tangle as she splayed atop him like a starfish and he stared up at the ceiling in a kind of strangled frozen fury, like there was so much emotion he wanted to process he’d overheated and now was stuck like that until he cooled down.
That was when Dick leaned over him and solemnly added one final thought, as though it was a crucial addition of the gravest importance:: “A lot.”
Jason’s eye twitched.
Dick’s eyes went wide in response. “Uh oh. He went to the Danger Zone. Run Cass. We’ve unleashed the dogs of war!”
Cass was off and on her feet in a second, taking off down the hall like a rocket. “Not the dogs of war!” She yelled.
Dick was only seconds behind her when behind him, Jason rose like an eruption, growling wordlessly and sparks practically flashing from his suddenly flinty eyes. He charged after them like an enraged bull.
“Kenny Loggins wouldn’t want this!” Dick yelled over his shoulder as he rounded the doorway and vanished. Jason rounded it in hot pursuit.
“Poison Ivy won’t even be able to make compost from what’s left of you when I’m through!”
The yelling and running vanished into the distance. Duke and Tim finally looked at each other blankly.
“What?” Tim asked. Duke shrugged helplessly.
A door opened at the end of the hallway. Bruce stuck his head out. “Is it safe?”
Tim just stared at him.
“What?” Duke asked.
**************
LOL mostly I just want to get to the tail end of the series, when Dick and Jason go undercover as supervillains in the Society of well, Supervillains....Dick as War Shrike and Jason as Gray Jay. (A kind of bird usually known for or referenced as being thieving and unpredictable and unexpectedly dangerous despite its size. Jason never went into the Lazarus Pit here and so isn’t as huge as he is in canon, he’s on the smaller side due to his early life’s malnutrition. Living with Bruce helped him catch up enough that he’s not TINY tiny, but he’s still smaller enough that this particular mantle fits him a little better than it would his massive canon depiction).
Cass also partakes in the undercover storyline, just showing up uninvited in a persona she’s crafted for the mission and calls Black Swan. And War Shrike and Gray Jay are both so startled and obviously a little freaked by her unexpected arrival, that combined with her being ticked at her brothers for leaving her behind, RUDE, and them sufficiently cowed and guilted by her wrath, that it all adds up to the other villains as being clear evidence that she is the boss and they are her advance minions. 
Which mollifies and satisfies Cass immensely, and leaves Jason grumpy that their mission was hijacked and also his sister is The Worst, and leaves Dick temporarily disgruntled because This Whole Thing Was His Idea DAMMIT but then five seconds later finding it hilarious because Dick is a chaos connoisseur and he has an appreciation for whimsy and the unexpected.
“I can’t believe you not only gate-crashed our extremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, but you completely hijacked it as well! This is so typical,” Jason grouched.
Cass simply swept ahead of him and strode down the hallway with lethal grace. “Silence minion.”
Jason spluttered behind her and she grinned to herself. He really made it too easy sometimes.
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jonahlovescoffee · 4 years ago
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Unbelievable | J.M.
a/n: bc jonah in the unbelievable music video is just hot hot hot hot hot :) i’ve been putting this one on hold for way too long. not rlly satisfied with the way it went but i promise it’s not that bad (i think) lol happy reading <3
summary: jonah’s outfit was unbelievable and so was his ability to pleasure you anywhere, even in the kitchen.
warnings: kitchen smut as requested by @averysbestyears
word count: 3362
“your taste; i could drink, i could drink, i could drink a whole damn case; every drip, every drip, couldn't let you go to waste”
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You spent the entirety of your morning out and about running errands, only returning to the apartment you shared with your boyfriend late in the afternoon with bags of groceries in hand. With Jonah out with his band mates to film a music video for their upcoming single for who-knows-how-long, the apartment you shared with him seemed unusually quiet and empty without the constant couple banter between you both. In attempt to lessen the feeling of loneliness caused by the deafening silence, you put on some relaxing music on the stereo before putting away all the groceries, leaving only the necessary ingredients for a chocolate cake on the counter. After tying your hair up in a messy bun, you got started excitedly with your baking, humming softly along to the music as you worked. Despite having baked for countless times before, you still weren’t exactly good at it, your clumsy self often knocking over and accidentally spilling everything and anything everywhere which explained why your counter looked like a chaotic war zone half an hour later when you were done.
You heaved a relieved sigh when you managed to put the cylinder pan filled with cake batter safely into the oven, a triumphant smile plastered on your face. You were about to start cleaning up the kitchen when you heard the faint sound of the door opening and closing so you rushed to the living room immediately to be greeted by the sight of Jonah taking off his shoes at the foyer. He smiled when he looked up and saw you, opening his arms for you which you run into with glee.
“Welcome home, love,” you giggled as he picked you up off your feet and spun you around few times until you squealed and asked him to put you down.
“Missed you so bad,” he said and placed a tender kiss on your head as he followed you into the kitchen, an arm around your waist. “Baking again?” He asked after sniffing the air that was filled with the slightly bitter scent of the chocolate cake that wafted out through the oven, completely oblivious to your lingering gaze on him that was sneakily examining him from head to toe—eyes darting from his tousled brown hair to the dark grey t-shirt that hugged his muscled figure perfectly, showing off the subtle outlines of the toned abs hiding underneath, to his long white jacket that reached his knees and jeans of the same colour—and gosh, he sure looks handsome. How nice must it feel to let your hands roam his body and—
“Baby?” He called, snapping you out of your train of thoughts and you blinked several times at him who was waving his hands in front of you, trying to get your attention.
“Yes, what were you saying again?” You smiled sheepishly at him, light pink tinting your cheeks, embarrassed by your explicit thoughts although no one heard them apart from you. But Jonah had known you long enough to figure out the exact thoughts that were running through your head a moment ago. And as a good boyfriend, he couldn’t leave your wishes unattended, could he?
“Well, I was asking if you need help with cleaning but I think we’ll get to that later, hmm?” A smirk made its way onto his face as he backed you up until your back hit the edge of the counter and he pinned you against it, his tall figure towering over your petite one. “Since you’re so overly interested in admiring my body,” he said smugly and you blushed a darker shade of crimson, guilty as charged.
“It’s...it’s your fault for dressing like this today,” you stuttered nervously while avoiding his gaze, earning a small chuckle from him.
“I’m glad you like my outfit,” he licked his lips before cupping the back of your neck to tilt your head so that you were looking at him directly in the eyes. “But I think you’ll like it better if I take them off, am I right, baby?” He asked, his voice turning husky.
“No! Definitely not! What are you talking about?” You hurriedly waved your hands in front of yourself in denial but your wavering tone wasn’t convincing enough. This bastard already knew the answer to his own question and the last thing you would do was admit it out loud to feed his ego (actually it was because you were too much of a coward to do so but we don’t talk about that here).
Jonah could feel his self control that he had put on himself ever since he walked through the front door gradually faltering at the sight of how innocent you looked on the outside — how flustered you got at the mere implication of sex like you had never done it your entire life — and how much it fueled his desire to take you right then and there in the kitchen, which was precisely what he was going to do. “Well baby, I’ll keep my clothes on then, but this means you gotta lose yours.”
“No, that’s not what I meant...ahh,” you were cut short by a gasp of your own when his lips connected with your neck without warning, generously leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses from your jaw down to the column of your neck, sending a shock of heat through your core.
“Then what do you mean, sweetheart?” With you guys’ handful of previous experiences, it didn’t take long for him to find your sweet spot, abruptly scraping his teeth against it, easily biting hard enough to create a bruise, earning a moan from you as your hands instinctively found their way into his hair, tugging at his brown locks lightly until a groan managed to slip past his lips.
“I...,” you trailed off, still too timid to speak your mind. When you didn’t make a move to continue your sentence, he pulled away from you and you almost whimpered at the sudden loss of contact.
“Go on. I’m waiting,” he urged, his fingers drumming the countertop impatiently, waiting for your reply. “I won’t start until you tell me what you want.”
“I want to feel you,” you replied quickly, spilling out all the words out in one go and with a satisfied grin, he lifted you up onto the counter and he was standing between your legs.
“Yeah? Which part of me, baby?” He teased, both of his hands now on your waist, his thumbs gently tracing random patterns.
“Every part of you, Jonah, fuck. So can we stop with the talking and start doing now?” You yanked him closer by the chain around his neck before finally connecting your lips with his, opening your mouth on a second’s notice when you felt his teeth sink into your bottom lip lightly, granting his tongue full permission to slip into your mouth almost immediately. You couldn’t help but release another moan as soon as you tasted the coffee that he probably just drank in the car on the way home on his tongue.
Not just any coffee. You knew the difference between the tastes of all kinds of coffee like the back of your hand. The bitter taste with a hint of the sweetness of chocolate that engulfed your senses now was definitely not the taste of the straight black coffee he usually preferred.
No, it was the taste of mocha—your favourite type of coffee.
“You prick, you expected this to happen, huh?” You asked when both of you pulled away to catch your breaths, your faces remaining inches apart, your breaths mingling with each other’s.
“Maybe,” he chuckled darkly as his fingers slowly curled around your neck, “We always end up naked after every of my band photoshoots in one way or another so why not be prepared this time?”
Before you can let a string of vulgar curses escape, he attached your lips with his once again and from the way his hand tightened around your neck and the rougher movements of his tongue, you knew that he wasn’t planning on holding back his feral hunger for you this time round, subsequently making you moan with extreme pleasure when your tongues entwined and also at the thought of what he was about to do to you.
You angled your head to deepen the kiss as your hands grabbed fistfuls of his jacket, a silent plea for him to take it off, in which he responded with shifting his body enough for you to slip it off, the expensive white material thudding to the ground, revealing his strong tattooed arms. You let you fingers trace his biceps for a moment before moving your hands downwards to pull his shirt out of his jeans but he stopped you before you could remove his shirt.
“Don’t,” he said sternly into the kiss and grabbed both your hands in one hand quickly. He pulled away, biting your bottom lip with a force strong enough to make it swell slightly. “It’s not your turn until I say so,” he snarled and you felt heat pooling at your core just from the serious look on his face. “Now lie down,” he ordered and forced you down with the hand around your throat swiftly but carefully so you were laying flat on the counter, on top of all the spilled flour and some cake batter, the unkept baking supplies pushed to the very end of the counter.
He did not wait any longer to peel your shirt off you and you watched him exhale sharply as his eyes darkened, the black of his pupils almost consuming all the vibrant hazel surrounding them. “Fucking hell baby,” he tossed your shirt aside as his eyes drank in every curves and edges of your bare upper body. You didn’t bother to put on any undergarments when you changed after you got home from your grocery run, thinking that since no one’s home aside from you it’ll be totally fine. You made a mental note to do this more often in future because his stunned turned-on expression was definitely something you would want to see again. “Is it my birthday or something today?”
“You’re not the only one who came prepared,” you said cheekily, adding in a hushed tone, “Just so you know, I’m not even wearing anything underneath my pants either.” A string of profanities fell from his lips at your words as his hand made its way between your thighs, pushing your shorts aside to slip in his fingers. The wetness that his fingers were immediately greeted with was proof enough of your testament, earning a satisfactory groan from him.
“Now, where shall I start?” He asked, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip as he stared down at your shirtless figure splayed on the counter like his own personal feast. “Here? Or,” He teased, his hands travelled down to one of your breasts from your neck and let a finger draw circles around your nipple. “Here?” He tentatively dragged his fingers unhurriedly along your slit, collecting your ever growing slick, which had you whimpering and grinding against his fingers, in desperate need of as much friction as possible, yearning to feel more of him but the movement of his fingers remained so excruciatingly slowly.
“So fucking needy, aren’t you, my little slut?” he tisked, flicking his middle and index fingers between your hard nipple, earning an involuntary moan from you. “I’m barely doing anything,” he chuckled before taking his fingers that were coated in your sticky arousal and bringing them to his mouth, making sure that your gaze was on him as he licked them clean. “Tastes so fucking good as always.”
“Jonah, please,” you begged, “touch me more.”
“Oh I’ll do so much more than touching, babygirl,” you bit your tongue to suppress another moan at his words that were immediately followed by the sound of him falling onto his knees. His fingers gripped your thighs, pushing them further up and apart, his face nearing your dripping core. He let out a little huff on the inner part of your thighs, causing your legs to slightly shiver and your pussy flutter.
“Fucking gorgeous.” he breathed, his eyes staring hungrily at your cunt before laying his tongue flatly against your clit and let you rut yourself against it for a second before he unexpectedly gave it a harsh bite with a little bit of force. You slammed your hands against the counter right away and let out a loud gasp.
“Whoops, my bad,” he chuckled and you felt him smirk against your flesh. “Let me try this again.”
He wrapped his mouth around your throbbing clit before starting to suck it softly, his tongue flickering back and forth against it before moving his mouth lower and sweeping his tongue against your folds. It almost hurt with how incredible you were feeling right now. His mouth was hot against you as his velvety tongue continued swiping back and forth against your clit, faster and harder each time. The way he groaned at the taste of your body intoxicated you with more lust and you soon found yourself unable to think, hear, feel or remember anything else save for the name of the male that was eating you out like it was his last meal.
And when he finally moved his tongue into your pussy, it felt too good to be true. So fucking good that you were about to combust with pleasure. He went at a slow pace at first but then sped up every three thrusts until you were softly chanting a continuous series of “yes” under your breath. It seemed that he didn’t think that was enough, for he moved a finger to your weeping core, the rough pad of the tip of his finger pressing down and moving around in circular movements.
He was so rough but it felt so good, every lick and suck successfully building flares of heat in your adomen. “I...I’m close,” you stuttered, not really able to speak in your current state of bliss.
“Yeah? You wanna cum, darling?” Jonah asked, replacing his tongue with two fingers that managed to slip into you ever so easily due to how wet you were, pumping them in and out quickly.
“Uh-huh,” You nodded, your hands finding their way to him naturally, clinging onto him for dear life as he skillfully finger fucked you, your high gradually approaching with each thrust of his digits. Without any warning, he attached his lips to your bundle of nerves and sucked on it, right when he curled his fingers inside you, easily finding and hitting your g-spot. Your hands tightened on his shoulders, nails digging into his thick, supportive muscles.
“Cum for me, darling.”
Your walls tightened on him and an orgasm wracked through your body at his command, back arched while your thighs trembled as you came undone around his fingers. Panting slightly, you tried to regain your breath but before you knew it, his tongue went back to work again, swirling around to capture every single drop of your sweet juices into his mouth, the slurping noises and the ethereal feeling of his tongue on you turning you into a moaning mess.
“Fuck, darling, you taste so good,” he complimented, pulling his fingers out of you and put them in his mouth, licking them clean while looking at you and you let out an unrecognisable sound from the sight alone. “Couldn’t get enough of you. C’mon here.”
You did as he told, sitting up and scooting closer to him, your hands itching to undress him but you didn’t once you remembered his warning. You despised him still being fully clothed while you were already stripped bare for him but you also knew that one, going against him would accomplish nothing but getting punished on your part and two, he would adhere to your wishes once he felt like it.
And you were right.
“Take it off, I know you want to,” he said and you pulled his shirt off him excitedly before undoing his belt and his jeans, pushing them down along with his underwear and they pooled at his ankles, leaving his member standing at attention, already leaking with precut with all the lust bottled inside him.
“Wanna keep you close when I fuck you senseless, baby,” he teased your entrance with the tip of his cock and you whined. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He nudged your folds slightly and you nodded.
“I want your dick so bad,” you admitted with a hint of shyness and his lips broke into a small smile before pressing a quick kiss to the tip of your nose.
“Mmhmm, and I’ll give it to you, pretty girl,” he sheathed himself inside of you and you let out a gasp at the sudden intrusion.
Taking a few slow thrusts to allow yourself to adapt to his size, it’s only a moment before Jonah completely bottoms out inside of you. He watches your face shiver in pleasure which he mirrors. He clasped your hips so firmly his knuckles turned white; it didn’t even hurt as all you could focus on was him inside you. Your hands found their way to his biceps, gripping on for some tension relief and you could still feel his muscles flex even beneath your hands.
“What a good fuckin’ girl, taking my cock like this.” Jonah’s voice was a low growl as he thrusts into you, the slaps of your skin interacting between each thrust was like a sinful symphony. “So fucking tight.”
The smell of the cologne he wore danced in your brain as he worked up a sweat absolutely pummeling himself into your sex. You grasped onto him as if your life depended on it, moaning into his neck as his cock slid in and out of you. You didn’t even know how much time was passing as he rutted himself into you relentlessly
“Just cum already, you know you want to babygirl,” he muttered to you through his clenched teeth, groans of his own escaping every now and then. You took your opportunity and let your pleasure go for the second time, your orgasm taking over as your back arched even more, your toes curling as you moaned out in pleasure.
He came soon after, relentlessly pounding into you throughout his own orgasm, his thick warm seed coating the inside of your walls, the sensation making you shiver as your nipples started to stiffen up even more. He stayed inside you for a few more seconds before he pulled out, the cum sliding out and onto your inner thighs. He stared as it drizzled out for a few more moments before he gave a smirk, glancing back up to your breathless form and his expression softened right away.
“Guess it’s time for a good bath now, love,” he said as his hands reached behind you to grab some paper towels to clean up the mess between your thighs. You tiredly rested your head on his shoulder once he’s done and the paper towels were discarded into the bin.
“I can’t feel my legs anymore though,” you complained, arms already around his neck, hoping that he’d get your hint, which he did.
“Fine, I’ll carry you,” he said with a laugh, hands sliding down your spine to grip your thighs firmly and you wrapped your legs around his waist before he hoisted you off the counter and started walking towards your bedroom. “You always turn into a baby after sex. How cute.”
“I’m your baby so of course I am,” you nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
“My pretty little baby girl, hmm?” The way his voice dipped a tone when he pronounced those words near your ear made your heartbeat drop to your southern region instantly and you felt your pussy gradually turning wet. Again.
He chuckled, a sign that he felt the changes in your body too, earning a smack on his back from you. “Shut up. It’s your fault.”
“Good thing the bathtub is big enough for two then.”
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taglist: @chilling-seavey @neralondon @mia-marais @randomlimelightxxx @hopinglimelight @kvd963 @cutiebandlover202 @savspersonalproperty @slowdownatthelotusinn @angelzacharyy @freakshows199 @my-fangirling-outlet
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lyricalimerence · 5 years ago
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Enchanted - Rafe Cameron
summary: rafe meets reader at a party and she becomes entranced at the idea of him—at the idea of them.
word count: 1744
warnings: fluff mainly, it's pretty mild (edit: just remembered underage drinking lol)
a/n: based off the song enchanted my taylor swift,,, i dunno her old stuff is pretty good and i felt like writing fluff today. did i edit ? of course not :)
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there i was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles
same old tired, lonely place
walls of insincerity
shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when i saw your face
all i can say is it was enchanting to meet you
the sun danced along the edge of the horizon, colors bursting from the seams into tie dyes of golds, reds, pinks, and purples in time to the music. cliche classical fugues and themes pulsed through speakers, carrying the chamber orchestra's melodies through the entirety of the country club. through the bathrooms, the kitchen, the dining room, and the back patio where teenagers were dancing and sneaking alcoholic beverages from the waiters.
in one corner of the laminate flooring, a girl stood, both hands wrapped around a glass of seltzer water, as she nodded her head to the girls surrounding her. a perfectly manicured set of nails rapped against the laminate wood tabletop as her gaze drifted around the patio. her forced smile caused her cheeks to ache in a falsely saccharine, model-esque bravado. her laughter didn't meet her eyes as she took social cues from the lightly giggling girls around her.
the tall brunette flocking at her immediate right side faux complimented her dress, the royal blue satin draped over her bronzed frame. flashing a tight lipped smile and a grateful nod, she returned the compliment in a way that mocked the girl's insincere and jealous commentary. throwing her head back to allow the staticky, carbonated seltzer to flow down her throat, she closed her eyes, imagining she was anywhere but there.
she sidestepped around the brunette and the table, searching for bar outside, looking to treat her body with something stronger. with her company for the night, she needed the extra boost of intoxication to get by. the rhythmic clack of her heels against the tiles created a harmony to accompany the music that took an upbeat turn for the teenage girls grinding against each other on the dance floor, parents having absconded their children hours before to reminisce themselves. there was no doubt in her mind that her mother was gossiping will her newfound wine drunk friends as her father was at the bar inside with other king pins of kildare.
as she coerced the bartender to mix a splash of rum into her coke as she was only nineteen, a shadow fell across her contoured face. the dip of her cheekbones deepening gauntly and the rouge plush of her lips darkening in the portable shade. the shifting eyes of the bartender paused at the sight of the teenager standing beside her—the creator of the shadow. she avoided eye contact as long as possible, she knew very few people on kildare, and she wasn't too keen on meeting more—from what she's seen, they're awful people. however, a menacing glare frightened the poor bartender into tipping his rum bottle filled hand into the glass of coke and sliding it across the bar towards her.
with a shy smile she looked up to thank the guy who aided her in her mission to inebriation. "thank you," she faltered as she looked up, the sparkle in his eyes, the curve of his smirk, he was perfectly chiseled. however oddly cliche it sounds, it was almost godlike how his presence enraptured her attention.
"anytime," he didn't break eye contact as he brought his glass, that had been refilled with what she was positive to be alcohol, to his lips. she passed along a brief, but genuine, smile as she made her way back to the corner, the fabric of her dress swaying around her legs as she walked. he couldn't look away from her. surface level, she was gorgeous, and as hormonal as he was, her body was capable of leaving the guy speechless, if he wasn't quite so eloquent.
your eyes whispered "have we met?"
across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me
the playful conversation starts
counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy
and it was enchanting to meet you
all i can say is it was enchanted to meet you
she knocked her drink back gracefully, not showing any signs of the drink burning her throat on the way down. discarding her glass on a table somewhere, she rolled her shoulders back and slipped into the crowd of dancing teenagers, immediately finding the only girl she knew.
"hi, sarah!" she smiled toothily at the dirty blonde. sarah returned the grin, stepping towards her and grabbing her hands to pull her into the heart of the sea of moving bodies. sarah spun the girl around jokingly, laughter erupting between them as the taps of heels and lights of the country club threw a halt in the regularity of the outer banks suburbia.
somewhere between sillily slow dancing and dancing somewhat sensually, the alcohol kicking in, her eyes met with the boy from before. she knew his eyes were watching her the entire time, trying to answer a question that had toyed with his mind since they had their short exchange at the bar. she was thinking the same thing, had they met before? something was so familiar about him, but she couldn't put her mauve painted finger on it.
the definitely familiar smirk worked its way across his face as he worked his way across the dance floor. "hey," his voice greeted in her ear as she swayed her hips to the beat, gradually getting farther away from sarah as her intoxication grew stronger.
"hi!" her grin widened at the boy, her personality becoming bubbly as she grabbed his hand and tried to spin him but couldn't quite get her arm over his head due to his height. "i'm y/n, who are you?"
"rafe cameron. have i seen you before?" rafe replied, following with a question as he bent his knees so the girl in front of him could, in fact, twirl him around.
"yeah, we just saw each other at the bar, you silly goose." grabbing both his hands, she danced with him, completely informally, almost as if she was trying to give her parents a metaphorical middle finger. that is, until she realized what he said his last name was. "oh my god! my dad is closing a business deal with yours!"
"yeah, he is, and silly goose?" rafe's hands moved to the small of her back as the song changed to a slower melody. she wrapped her arms around his neck loosely and nodded. her eyes lit up from what he saw earlier, setting her face aglow. she was absolutely gorgeous under the moonlight and scattered lamps.
"would you prefer silly duck or silly chicken?" she quizzed, her brows quirking upwards. she felt content there, her conversation with rafe flowing through their quick remarks and quips.
whether it was the rum surging through her neurons or the heels pushing her up onto her tiptoes, she stumbled, stepping on rafe's toes on accident. he laughed it off, setting off fireworks in his turquoise eyes. "do you take constructive criticism on dancing?"
"oh, not with being emotionally wounded soon thereafter." she replied, nodding her head with a grin as she took a step back and stabilized herself. "so, what's it like being the son of the most important man on the island?"
rafe spun her around before letting her twirl, the song changing again, prompting the dancing crowd to shake their heads, ruining their perfectly styled hair and sway their hips, allowing dresses of satin to float through the air. "oh, y'know, lots of golfing and parties."
"you seem like the type to golf." y/n replied, bumping her hip into rafe's as they danced. "you don't seem like the type to dance, though."
"yeah, you're right." he dramatically conceded, taking her hand again and doing the wave. "so, cheer me on very loudly, i'm very insecure."
the conversation was tossed back and forth between the limited space between them due to forced proximity. he just seemed so different than the other people she's met in kildare. but dancing stopped and music paused when his father, and her father, walked out of the country club's building to celebrate their business deal.
"i've gotta go."
this night is sparkling, don't you let it go
i'm wonder struck, blushing all the way home
this night is flawless, don't you let it go
i'm wonder struck, dancing around all alone
i'll spend forever wondering if you knew
i was enchanted to meet you
y/n had her heels in her hand and held the hem of her dress in the other to keep it off the tarmac of her driveway. the stars adorned the night sky, sparkling fairy lights in a sea of tenebrosity. her mind replayed the nights events, casually skipping over her entertaining a conversation with girls she didn't know or like to dancing with rafe, a guy she just met but couldn't get out of her mind.
a blush peppered her cheeks in a dark pink, almost invisible in the dim light, but burning against her cheekbones. she walked with her mother, both still slightly tipsy and leaning on each other as they laughed, both for their own unspoken reasons. mr. y/l/n had bounded for the front door as soon as the car and been put in park, immediately wanting to get started on the deal he had just closed with rafe's father.
she fell against her soft mattress, like laying on a cloud as her mind was playing her hour with rafe that felt like a minute on repeat like a broken record. she was wonderstruck at the idea of him—maybe the people here weren't so bad.
she found a recording of the song the chamber orchestra was playing while she was slow dancing with rafe and played it on repeat as she changed into pajamas and washed off her makeup. her hips swaying off their own accord and her head moving side to side as she danced in her room all alone.
falling against her comforter once again, her eyes traced the glow-in-the-dark stickers she pasted to her ceiling the moment she entered her room in the new house. she followed the edges of each star, forming constellations—similarly to the flecks of gold and olive and in rafe's turquoise eyes.
as she drifted into a sleep, her mind stuck to rafe, wondering if he knew just how enchanted she was to meet him.
tags ( if you want to be added click here )
@insanitysparkles @anonymous0writer @prejudic3 @ilovejjmaybank @apoguecalledjj @calumbroutledge @rudys-pankow @bxllasanosa @xxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooo @write-from-the-heart @thelocalpogue @fandomsinapile @starkeymarkey @jayjaymaebank @lovingxjj @drew-starkey
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dc41896 · 5 years ago
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Between the Lines
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Hey guys! Really quick, the song we’re gonna pretend is the reader’s is Hallucinations by dvsn (I would try to link it like I’ve seen other songs on posts but I don’t know how nor do I want to mess up anything so I’m just gonna leave that alone lol). It’s really good and may put you in your feels but I recommend it☺️. Okay that’s all, hope you guys like it!
Pairing: Chris EvansxBlack Reader
⚠️: None🥰!
“Can we dim the lights just a little bit more please? There, that’s perfect! Thank you!”
“Okay I got a few outfits picked out for you so after rehearsal you can pick which two you want to wear tonight,” your stylist and best friend Gina smiles walking up to you on stage.
“Thank you! I already know I’m gonna love everything and then not be able to decide until the last minute and stress out even more than I already am.”
“And then I’ll help you and you’ll do incredible as always,” she laughs wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Don’t worry girl you got this!”
In less than five hours, you’d be performing for the first time on live television as the musical act for Saturday Night Live and to say you were nervous was an understatement. Your stomach felt as if you had gone upside down on a rollercoaster at least a hundred times and your hands were already sweating and shaking. Even your bottom lip was starting to hurt from you biting on it so much, which was something you tended to do when you were anxious.
“Looks like I made it just in time for the performance,” an all too familiar voice announces as they walk up to the front of the stage.
Oh and as the cherry on top to your stress, your ex was tonight’s host.
Not that you guys ended on bad terms, it’s just some unresolved feelings on your end made it difficult for your heart not to break every time you saw him. “Agreeing” that you both made better friends than you did a couple, you watched the love of your life walk away after leaving a kiss on your forehead. With every atom in your body, you wanted to pull him back and hold him so tight that he couldn’t move, but there was a piece of you that wondered maybe he had a point. Maybe he was meant to be someone else’s even though all you wanted was to be with him.
And if that were the case, who were you to get in the way of that?
Of course with you being exes there were additional eyes planning to tune in to see whether things would be painfully awkward or if everyone would play dumb and circle around the obvious elephant in the room. The executives swore to both of you that you guys getting set for the same show wasn’t on purpose or a way to boost ratings. They even offered to move one of you, or accommodate in any way they could.
However, you and Chris assured that everything would be fine and there was no hard feelings between you. Whatever they needed you both to do, you’d happily be there.
“Any other time I’d let you sit in, but this is a secret rehearsal so...,” you answer pointing towards the door as he stands in front of you.
Sitting on the edge of the stage, he lightly taps under your chin immediately making your now lightly red tinted bottom lip appear. “Bite it anymore, you won’t have a lip to sing with tonight.”
“Maybe that’s for the best so then I won’t embarrass myself.”
“I know there’s nothing I can say to take away your nerves, but you got this trust me. They wouldn’t have chosen you to be here if they didn’t already know you’d do amazing.”
“Mm that’s a strong assumption, and you know what they say when you assume,” you counter slightly tilting your head and making Chris roll his eyes.
“Y/N...”
“Okay you may have a point,” you giggle meeting his baby blues. “How are you though? I’m not the only one with a first tonight.”
Shrugging his shoulders, he sticks his hands in his pockets switching from one leg to the other. “I can’t lie I’m nervous, but once I get up there I’ll try to focus on just having fun and doing my best.”
“Y/N, I’m sorry to interrupt but they need you to run through your song to check the mics and everything,” a stagehand explains from behind you.
“Okay I’ll be there in a second,” you smile before turning your attention back to Chris. “Looks like I gotta go. If I don’t see you before everything starts good luck, you’re gonna do great.”
“Thanks and same to you. Try to turn that beautiful mind of yours off and remember what I said ok?”
Smile on his lips, he pulls you in for a hug before softly kissing your cheek leaving a tingling sensation on your skin along with slight remnants of his warm cologne. Watching as he rounds the corner officially out a sight, a shaky breath escapes your lips as your hands cover your face.
You hated how this was always your response. Feeling as if tears would stream down your face at any moment while your heart pounded against your chest with no sign of slowing down. And it didn’t only happen being in his presence, just the mention of his name made a lump develop in your throat as the rest of your usual symptoms soon followed.
“Y/N, you good?,” the sound tech asks from the side of the stage taking a break from checking the numerous wires plugged into the system.
“Yea I’m fine, sorry about the wait I’m ready now,” you softly smile as you stand to grasp the cold mic in your hand.
———
So far everything had gone really well with the show tonight. Every skit Chris was in made the crowd erupt with laughter, including the one where you two played the ridiculously competitive couple at game night making your friends regret inviting you guys.
Reading the tweets from those at home, it seemed they were loving it too, but of course mainly happy to have Chris on their screens.
With the show winding down, it was time for your last performance, which was the one you were most worried about. Not only because of the performance but the song itself.
“Last song of the night!,” Gina claps lightly bouncing on her toes. “You ready?”
“I don’t really have a choice do I?,” you nervously laugh looking over yourself in the mirror one last time fixing your top.
“Technically yes, just say the word and we could parent trap this thing.”
“And that would possibly work if we were identical twins, which we are definitely not,” you laugh. Placing her hands on your shoulders, she leads you in a few deep breaths before fluffing out the pineapple puff on top of your head.
“You’re gonna do great and everything will be fine. And I’m not just talking about the singing.”
Gina, along with your band, knew what this last song meant for you and gave you their full support when you brought up the idea to perform it tonight. You planned on taking it with you to the grave when you first wrote it, but something in the pit of your stomach urged you to be honest with how you truly felt.
Taking your position on stage, you take one last deep breath before Chris’ voice flows through your ears.
“Ladies and gentleman, Y/N.”
Lights dimming around you, the soft beat plays in the background waiting for you to make your entrance. Wanting the performance to feel as intimate as the song itself, you sat on the edge of the stage, legs dangling in front of you as you peer out into the crowd of various faces.
Having hallucinations
I'm losing sleep every night
Keep trying to cover my eyes
My eyes, yeah
Is it my imagination?
I think I'm losing my mind, yeah
Still see your face all the time
All the time
Tryna rewind 'til we're back where we started
Yeah, that's all I want
Yeah, night after night after night
I'm still haunted
I'm haunted, baby
———
Watching you gently sway on the tv in his dressing room, he couldn’t help the soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Bearded chin resting on his knuckles, the look in his eyes as he witnessed you on stage in your element was reminiscent to that of a proud parent in awe of their child’s first play.
“You are so smitten it’s not even funny,” Scott smirks looking at his brother.
“I’m just really happy for her that’s all,” he replies, hand nervously raking through his hair.
“Mhmm that’s all.”
I'm haunted by you, you, fall asleep and dream of
You, you, late at night I scream for
You, you, waiting on a deja-vu
But until then
I live with hallucinations
Yeah, they're just hallucinations
And I'll just hallucinate
'Cause you're not here
Hallucinations
The band playing being the only thing heard, he notices you quickly wipe under your eye setting the mic away from you as you quietly laugh to yourself and the audience claps telling you it’s okay. Listening to the lyrics, there was a small twinge in his gut that maybe what he was currently thinking was true, but it wasn’t until your next movement that he was knew for sure what you were saying.
“Wait you saw that right?”
“Saw what?,” Scott asks as Chris positions himself closer to the screen.
“She tugged her ear.”
“Okay...and what about it?”
It would probably sound silly to others, but during your relationship you two created your own secret signal of lightly tugging on your earlobes to say hello during interviews and that one was thinking of the other.
Although it was something small that would definitely go unnoticed by everyone, it helped tell Chris everything he needed to know.
Losing my concentration
Hearing your voice in my head
Seeing you when you aren't there
You aren't there
And I can't keep living like this, yeah
Something's gotta give (give me you, yeah)
If I could make it all go away
Then I would
Tryna rewind 'til we're back where we started
Yeah, that's all I want, that's all I want
Yeah, night after night after night
I'm still haunted
I'm haunted, baby
I'm haunted by
You, you, fall asleep and dream of
You, you, late at night I scream for
You, you, waiting on a deja-vu
But until then
I live with hallucinations
Fall asleep and dream of you, you
They're just hallucinations
Late at night I scream for you, you
I'll just hallucinate
Waiting on a deja-vu
Cause you're not here
Hallucinations
Finishing your song, you give a small bow as the crowd erupts with claps and cheers making you shyly smile. Although you made it through your biggest challenge of the night, there was still one last worry taking up space in your mind.
———
“Thank you to the cast, the crazy talented and beautiful Y/N, and everybody for watching! Goodnight!,” Chris smiles waving into the camera as the rest of the cast claps and begins hugging each other.
Moving from person to person exchanging “congrats” and “good job’s”, you eventually end up face to face with the host himself, a small bit of panic setting in causing you to freeze in your current spot.
Pulling you in, he gently rocks you back and forth as his hand caresses the back of your head instantly making you melt.
“Congrats Y/N you did amazing!,” he whispers in your ear as you try to hide your smile in his neck.
Before you could even say thank you, a tap on his arm informs him he’s needed across the room for something important and returning that familiar ache to your chest. “I’ll talk to you later Y/N.”
“Um yeah, sounds good,” you answer as he kisses your cheek before heading to the area he was needed.
“Maybe he didn’t notice. Or what if he did but doesn’t care” you thought with a sigh as you continued to make your rounds talking to everyone.
Finally arriving back at your dressing room, you’re met with confetti and the sound of popping champagne bottles as your team and band shout “congratulations!”
“Congrats girl!! We did it!,” Gina squeals hugging you. “Oh how did everything go just now?”
“Not bad, he had to go do something so we weren’t able to talk really but we’ll try later.”
“Well I know it didn’t go how you wanted, but at least it wasn’t the worst outcome you know?” Giving you a sympathetic smile, she hands you a solo cup filled a third of the way with the bubbly liquid. “Now you know I hate to see you down, so lets celebrate this huge accomplishment and take care of the heart later.”
Tapping your cups together giggling, Gina makes her way to the others leaving you standing against the makeup counter watching your friends laugh and converse amongst themselves while music began to play overhead.
Catching the corner of your eye, numerous notifications illuminate your phone with people reaching out to you to say how good of a job you did and how happy they were for you. Scrolling down the line, you click on the tag from Chris’ Instagram to find an old video of you in the studio.
Arms crossed over your head in your grey sweatshirt and eyes closed, you were singing into the mic lost in the music playing in your headphones as your producer nodded along watching your vocals on the computer screen. Towards the end of the video, you finally open your eyes to see Chris recording and lightly tug your ear as you smiled.
chrisevans: Tonight wasn’t only a first for me with hosting SNL, but it was also y/IG/n first live tv performance and I just want to take a moment to say how so so soooo proud I am of you💙!! I’ve seen all the hard work, dedication, long nights, and heart you put into your songs and this album (don’t know if I’m allowed to say that last part now that I think of it lol) and I already know great things are coming. I know Scott’s gonna try to fight me on this, but you’re bringing me to the Grammys right🥺👉🏾👈🏾? #mygirl #shemightkillmeforthealbummention
Taglist: @honeychicana @fumbling-fanfics @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @my-rosegold-soul @curlyhairclub @renfrewscorner @secretmysteriousperson @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @itshinothey @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy
If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged and don’t see your name, only wants to be tagged for certain people I write for, or no longer wish to be tagged just let me know🤓!
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bittywitches · 5 years ago
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50 w g?
50. Getting paired up on an amusement park that requires even numbered riders.
Omg okay so there’s this ride at Canada’s Wonderland called White Water Canyon and it’s a pretty chill ride but most people get on it knowing there’s a chance they’ll get wet but not knowing that they most definitely will lol and I feel like that’s the best ride to make you become instant friends w a stranger so I had something like that in mind while writing this :)
You had been waiting in line with your friends for nearly a half hour, debating every five minutes or so whether or not you should just leave and come back later. A half hour definitely was a step up from the waiting times of most of the other rides at the park, though that didn’t mean you weren’t gonna get bored.
Finally though, you guys were able to make it to the front of the line, excited to get on.
“If you guys have any valuables you probably don’t want to bring them on,” the employee told you four, and you all nodded along as he lead you towards your raft.
“One by one, careful not to slosh the raft around too much.”
“We’ve been here before, we know how it works.” You giggled at your friend Ellie, her brazen attitude always being the one to get a laugh out of the group.
You all seated yourself in the raft, but there were still two empty seats next to yours in the circle. “Wait here, we’ll find someone to fill up the seats.”
“Any pairs available?” He shouted out towards the line. You immediately saw two arms shoot up in the middle of the line.
“We’ve got two people!” A voice shouted from within the pack of people waiting.
“Great, come on up.”
A buzz of moans and protests came from the others in line, begrudgingly making room for the two boys to make their way through.
Your eyes widened when you saw the first of the boys; tan, muscular, and he was wearing a very loose tank top that was very flattering on him. But your eyes widened even more when you saw the boy following him: they looked practically the same.
“Holy shit i think that guy is so hot I’m seeing double.” Ava muttered, and you all laughed.
The employee lead the two boys over to the raft. “You girls okay with these guys joining you?”
“Absolutely.” Ellie said, ogling at the second twin quite obviously.
“Ellie, shut up!” You swatted her arm, getting a laugh out of her.
You looked up to meet the eyes of the first twin you’d seen. He smiled at you, and you returned it as he stepped gently into the raft, though it bobbed under his weight. You noticed the light glinting off of the chain he was wearing.
He sat himself down next to you, casually brushing against your shoulder as he did so.
“Hi.” He said to you with a grin.
“Hey,” you smiled.
The second twin stumbled into the raft, almost falling right on top of Ellie. He would’ve if it weren’t for your bags in the middle preventing him from doing so.
“Woah, someone’s a little eager.” The three of you groaned, and you could see the boy’s ears tint a slight shade of pink.
“Don’t mind her. She doesn’t understand basic human interaction.” Your friend Aliyah said, patting the seat next to her for him to sit down.
“Alright riders, make sure to keep your hands and feet within the raft at all times. Please do not stand up at any point while the raft is in motion. The park is not responsible for the loss of any valued items on this ride. Most importantly, have fun!”
The employee pushed the raft out of the waiting dock and into the water, waving as the six of you giggled nervously for the ride to start. The raft began to move, rotating slightly as it did.
“Shit we’re gonna get splashed,” tank-top said, nervously looking over his shoulder at the small drop in the rapids approaching.
“Don’t worry, the first two don’t really do much. It’s only afterwards you gotta be scared.”
He laughed and nodded, but still squinted when the raft dipped and dropped. His shoulders relaxed when he didn’t feel any water on him.
“Oh by the way, just letting you know,” Ava gestured to get tank-top’s attention. “Y/N has the worst luck when it comes to this ride, so you’re most definitely gonna get completely wet.”
“Aw,” he responded, going to look at you.
You laughed sheepishly. “Yea, Sorry. Probably not the best decision to sit beside me.”
He shrugged, chuckling. “It’s all good. All part of the fun.”
There was a general “oh” sound from the group when the raft hit the edge of the river, causing it to jerk to the side and rotate around so Aliyah and the twin had their backs to the water.
“Hah, you guys are gonna get soaked!” Ellie cackled, watching their faces turn more and more uneasy the closer the raft got to the next dip.
Their sounds of distress increased as the raft approached the drop, until the raft finally reached that point, thrusting into the water, a short but heavy splash hitting Aliyah and the twin.
“Holy shit that’s cold,” The boy said, panting after the water splashed onto his back.
“I think my undies are soaked,” Aliyah whined, and the group laughed.
The raft drifted down the river, getting faster as the slope got steeper, causing you to hit more sides and stumps, jiggling the raft and getting little splashes from all around.
“Oh oh get ready here comes another one!” Ava said excitedly.
Of course exactly when she said that was when the raft bumped into the side again, turning around so you and tank-top had your backs to the water.
“Come on, why’d you have to jinx it?!” You yelled, frantically looking back at the water.
“Quick, lean!!” You hurriedly tapped tank-top’s shoulder, and you both tried your best to get the raft to turn, but it wouldn’t budge, and the ice-cold water got both of your lower backs and most of your legs, getting a squeal out of you and a shout from him.
He turned to look at you, chuckling. “Sorry, I tried.”
“Hey, no big deal. I’m just sorry you’re getting my bad luck!”
“Well you’re about to get some more because here comes another one!” Ellie hollered, pointing behind tank-top’s head.
“Shit!” He yelled, trying to paddle the water with his arms to get the raft to move, and luckily for you he was able to get it to turn just enough so the prime targets would be him and his brother, but you were still definitely in the splash zone.
“AHH!” You all screamed at the large drop. You grabbed the boy’s shoulder with both your arms and pulled him forward, shielding yourself from the biggest splash. The water hit the side of the raft and flew up all the way to the other side, absolutely soaking the twins and getting your friends in the process.
“Haha, yes!” You yelled triumphantly, revelling in your dryness.
“Hey! That was so unfair!” Tank-top shot his head over to look at you, water flying from his wet hair and getting all over you.
“When you have luck like me you gotta do what you can!” You stuck your tongue out at him cheekily.
“That doesn’t mean use me as a meat-shield!” He bantered. He dipped his hand into the water behind him and threw it at you, getting your front and your face.
“Oh my god!” You wiped the water from your face, giving him an incredulous grin. “You are so-”
You aggressively splashed more water at him in response, causing you guys to keep splashing each other until you were pretty much wet from head-to-toe, and ending with you both shaking in laughter.
“If you guys are already soaked, mind coming over here and shielding us from the waterfall?” Ava startled you both, pointing behind you at the water raining down from the top of the tunnel, only meters away.
“Shit!” You both yelled, and the shouts only spread to everyone else once the raft passed through it, evidently getting everyone completely drenched.
The group laughed and groaned as the raft slowly drifted back to the dock, finishing its route along the river.
“Did you guys have fun?” The employee asks, bringing your raft to a stop.
“Absolutely.” Tank-top said, getting a laugh from Ellie.
After a few minutes, everyone made their way out of the raft. You were picking up your bag from the middle of it, and looked up to see tank-top standing on the dock waiting for you with a hand outstretched.
You smiled, taking his hand and climbing out of the raft.
“Thanks.”
“That was really fun.”
“Yea, it was!” you agreed. You noticed your friends waving to you from the exit. “I gotta go. I’ll see you around-”
“Wait!” His hand touched your arm slightly, and you looked back at him with a questioning look.
“Um,” He ran a hand through his wet hair. “Are you gonna stay until the fireworks tonight?”
“Oh, yea!”
“You think I’ll see you there?”
You blushed a bit. “Um, yea, maybe.” You were about to keep walking again, but he grabbed your arm.
“Where will I find you?”
You paused for a moment, thinking. “Um, I’m not sure…” Then an idea popped into your head. “Oh! Hold on,” You stuck your hand into your back pocket and produced a black marker. You’d been keeping it there so you could check off all the rides you visited on the park’s map. You took his forearm in one hand, and in the other you brought your shirt up to try and wipe the water from it. Then you uncapped your marker using your teeth, keeping the lid in your mouth as you wrote your name and phone number on his arm.
“There,” You mumbled, taking the lid from your lips. “If you wanna find me, just call.”
He looked down to read what you’d written, and smiled. “Okay. Thanks, Y/N.”
“No problem…” You paused, but he was still staring at his arm. “Um, this is where you tell me your name.”
“Oh!” His head shot up. “Grayson. I’m Grayson.”
You smiled. “Okay. Hope to see you tonight, Grayson.”
He grinned at you, his white teeth seeming to shine like the hot summer sun. You waved to him as you walked back towards your friends. When you turned back around, you saw Ellie standing there with her arms crossed.
“If you get that one, can I get the other one?”
“Ellie!!”
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mittensmorgul · 5 years ago
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eeeee I’m very happy that a dead Cas is now officially chuck's ideal ending. (Kind of? I mean,,,, he told Sam that what he showed him is what would happen if TFW won, but it was still the ending *Chuck* has been wanting.) either way! It’s now textually part of the What We Absolutely Can’t Let Happen package!
Lol, I mean, a dead Sam and Dean are officially part of Chuck’s ideal ending, so it’s kinda like... if Chuck is targeting you like that, if he specifically and horrifically wants you off the table that bad because he knows that with you alive then his plans fall apart... yeah...  
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Which, honestly... explains an awful lot why Chuck’s spent so much effort keeping Cas busy with other stuff in the past. I’m entirely rethinking s6 and s7 here, because this explains so much. It’s not that Cas was being controlled by anyone, but after 5.22, Cas... poked at things. He let (half of, anyway) Sam out of the cage, he stood up to Raphael who was scheduled to finish the apocalypse, and then he teamed up with Crowley to hoover all the souls out of Purgatory. 
I mean Chuck was probably giddy with anticipation over the leviathan getting freed, you know? He didn’t even have to interfere to bring on his monster apocalypse. Just sit back and watch the chaos. He didn’t even mind Death nudging Dean in the right direction a few times, because Dean was so busy with his own immediate problems he couldn’t figure out Death’s hints in time to stop Cas anyway... And then Cas inadvertently and conveniently cleared himself off the table once the monsters were free. And yet... something about this wasn’t entirely satisfying, and Cas was brought back without his memories and stashed away to what... to give Dean a bit of hope that Chuck could just dash again? Because then Cas stashed himself away AGAIN after fixing Sam and taking on the trauma that was killing him, and then stashed himself in Purgatory for a while before coming back as an unwitting pawn of Heaven.
I think Chuck enjoys watching Cas go through this over and over again.
“Punishment resurrection.”
But s15 TFW isn’t the same fractured and scattered TFW from s6. They know Chuck’s God. And they know he’s the antagonist who keeps pushing them through more and more horrific versions of his own ugly story.
Billie is not OG Death, and she’s willing to bide her time and plan.
Sam is not soulless. He’s been through all of this before, and he’s endured, and he’s gonna endure again. He may have had his hope shaken a bit, but I don’t think that’s something Chuck can actually take from him entirely. As long as he’s alive, there’s a chance.
Dean is not the grieving, out of the loop shell of himself he was in s6. He knows what’s going on now, even if everything seems kinda bleak... He’s already established that in addition to Sam (who’s not in hell or soulless now), he also needs Cas in his life, even if it’s just the two of them sitting at the table commiserating. 
And Cas... finally understands that Dean wants him to stay, needs him to stay, and that every time Dean has told him this before (even if it was worded differently, because Dean struggles to express himself directly) Cas had left anyway-- for Dean’s own safety, to shield Dean from having to do something terrible, to sacrifice himself so Dean wouldn’t have to-- Dean didn’t care because all he could see was I asked him to stay and he left anyway. I am not enough. I am not worth staying for. And now in Purgatory, they finally began to have that conversation. Cas got a win for Dean, a year worth of s8 prayers that Cas had heard have been condensed into a single prayer that finally brought them together instead of convincing Cas he needed to keep running away to protect Dean. Instead of shoving Dean through the portal and staying behind, Cas waited at the portal for Dean and they walked back through together. Almost like ALL of the things that have been haunting Cas and driving him to penance since s6 have at least begun to be addressed and resolved in s15.
What were we talking about at the top of this? I think I’ve gone off on a tangent again...
RIGHT! Chuck’s gotta nerf Cas for his plot to work out.
It’s wild, right? Because Chuck’s whole “This Is Your Future Life” episode he crafted to convince Sam that locking him away with a Mark is a terrible idea that can only end one way... Do you know how frustrating it must’ve been for Chuck to have to stop them from caging him? Because it was a double-edged sword. I mean, on the one hand, I’m sure he LOVED the idea of Cas slowly going mad with the Mark until Dean was compelled to lock him in a ma’lak box and bury him right along with his hope and happiness, but if they had succeeded in casting that spell, then CHUCK WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO WATCH HIS FAVORITE SHOW. Like Amara in that same cage, his fun would’ve been over.
Can’t watch all the suffering if you’re locked in a cosmic dungeon!
It’s incredibly funny to me that Chuck convinced Sam that his nonsensical “future” was a true seeing, that he “shared his omniscience” with Sam with that watch. Because the one thing the show has demonstrated over the years that Chuck sincerely hopes they’ve forgotten, is that you can’t change the past, but the future is never set in stone until it comes to pass. And the future is built on choices.
Chuck can account for a lot of things, but he can’t account for Free Will. He can nudge, he can remove options, he can create roadblocks leaving only terrible choices open to them that will have awful consequences or require painful sacrifices, but... TFW has never completely done what they’re told, you know? Cas is the original “spanner in the works,” and Edlund once commented that yes, he has a “crack in his chassis,” but it’s a crack through which great things come. But Sam and Dean also have this frustrating and fascinating gift to stymie Chuck’s plot. 
And this is the true power of TFW. I think this is the tool they need to fully understand for themselves in order to finally win. They’ve been edging around it for a while, but Chuck always finds some way to foil them when they start getting close to examining their own wants. Like every time Dean starts talking about being able to take a vacation, or feeling hopeful that the future looks a little less bloodsoaked for them, Chuck steps in and throws them a monster of a curveball. Last time Dean started up with the toes-in-the-sand talk, he’d been possessed by AU Michael by the end of the episode, and crushed like a bug, his free will rendered entirely irrelevant. No amount of fighting against Michael, of telling him to get out, was able to free him. And then Chuck showed up again to hammer the lesson home. Only they learned a different lesson from the one he was trying to teach.
Heck, that’s another frustrating thing for Chuck, isn’t it? TFW has a long, long history of doing that.
Dabb even tweeted lyrics from “The End” by the Doors before this episode aired. Because this was a 5.04 redux, in a lot of ways. The circumstances of the future that Chuck imagined to horrify Sam may be entirely different, but the premise, the themes, the structure of it all... it’s functionally identical. But that was a distraction of sorts, as well. The other episode this referred back to... was 9.18.
Metatron showed his hand, revealed his process, and it’s identical to Chuck’s, because Metatron was just playing God, in the exact same way Chuck always did. He was a writer.
CASTIEL: And you did all this to make me a hero?METATRON [laughing]: Ah, that's priceless. Um no. You are not the hero in this mess-terpiece. You are the villain. I'm the hero.
and
METATRON: Didn't quite turn out as I'd planned, but that is why we rewrite. That was God's problem, you know... he published the first draft. You got to keep at it till you get all your ducks in a row.GADREEL: Was the Winchesters grabbing me part of your plan?METATRON: That was a surprise. But, hey, what writer doesn't love a good twist? My job is to set up interesting characters and see where they lead me. The by-product of having well-drawn characters is...They may surprise you. But I know something they don't know...the ending. How I get there doesn't matter as long as everybody plays their part.
Chuck also thinks he knows the ending. He’s absolutely convinced-- a la Lucifer’s conviction in 5.04 that “no matter what choices you make, we’ll always end up here,” and Metatron’s conviction that the ending was always destined to happen, couldn’t account for the true nature of humanity. Lucifer never saw it, because he never bothered to look for it. Metatron only saw it after he’d been rendered human himself. And Chuck? He thinks he understands, that his “omniscience” gives him a complete understanding of his creation, and yet... there’s things that humanity has created that he could never have dreamed up for himself.
He was right back in 11.22 (oh, hello Bobo episode again) when he told Amara that creation needed to be born, that it became something better than them. And yet Chuck can’t stop inflicting his own tired, formulaic story on his favorite characters. Because Amara was also right about him, that he was also greedy, and selfish, and only wanted to feel “big.” Chuck admitted that to Becky in 15.04, until he got over his writer’s block and started writing with a vengeance.
Wait, what was this about again? *scrolls up*
OH! Right! Nerfing Cas so the writer can have his way with everyone else. Kind of a long-standing tactic, no? And it’s not even about limiting Cas’s angel powers, but about Cas himself, and what he means to TFW. And it’s taken Cas a VERY long time to even begin to understand this. It’s not what he can do for them, it’s not being “useful” or “powerful” or being able to wave a hand and whoosh away the bad guy. It’s about him being HIM. It’s about him standing up to Dean and telling him he’s being stupid, and Dean listening and following him when if they’d gone their separate ways they both probably would’ve failed in Purgatory. It’s about them having each other’s backs and anticipating each other’s needs, and knowing that they aren’t alone and are wanted and needed because they are the best friend the other has ever had. And there’s something to that very human connection, that very human concept of family and love that Chuck... is incapable of understanding.
Whenever love rears its ugly head, Chuck rushes in to crush it. Because in love lies hope, lies a power that he can’t beat down. It’s a plot twist he can’t write his way out of.
Amara tried to give the very beginning of that to Dean in 11.23, to give him a chance to understand Mary, and Chuck couldn’t abide it. Jack is too powerful in a mojo-way, sure, but his true power for all of TFW was love. And Rowena-- pushed into self-sacrifice after Chuck “pinataed Hell”-- her entire journey into TFW had been about love.
Remember the plot of Metatron’s narrative? Love, and heartbreak, and love? Yeah. Remember how he thought he defeated Cas? By killing Dean Winchester? Yeah.
Big picture themes time? Chuck tried to drive wedges between TFW and everything they love. And has been trying to force his own contrived romance plots on them. But Chuck doesn’t understand love at all.
That’s their one true weapon against Chuck, if they each can learn to wield it.
How did my intended lol response to your question turn into this? That’s the cosmic lol for you.
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ella-se-vuelve-loca · 5 years ago
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Chapter 3
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Grand Masterlist Series Masterlist 
Join My Taglist! 🐙 or message me if the link isn’t working 🤣
@apla-o-eaytos-mou​ @pretendcnco​ @joelitos-baby​ @ericksmamita​ 
Previous Chapter 
~~
(Y/N)’s P.O.V.
“So that guy you were talking to… he was pretty cute, don’t you think?” Victoria spoke as she lied down on my bed. “You can say that again.” I slipped into my pj’s and sat on the edge of my bed. “He literally just came up to me and started a conversation. For a second, I didn’t quite know what to think but once he started talking…” I smiled to myself as I felt my bed shift.
“I don’t know. It just felt nice to feel wanted again, you know? However, I did wish we had a little more time to talk to each other.” I chuckled. “Yeah, I’m real sorry about that. You can’t blame me though. I wasn’t sure if you were ready or not after what happened with – ”
“That’s in the past..” I spoke. “Please, I don’t wanna talk about him tonight. I just wanna watch a movie and eat junk food with my best friend.” She gave me a little smile and got comfortable on the bed. “Which movie are we watching?” I climbed on and leaned against the headboard. “Whatever Netflix has to offer.”
Chime
Victoria picked up the phone and looked at the notification. A few seconds of silence filled the air between us as I continued looking for a movie to watch. “Hey, that cutie at the party, what’s his name again?” She asked. “Joel, why?”  
“I think this is for you…” She handed me the phone and I looked down at the screen.
‘Hey, is this (Y/N)? This is Joel :) I know we only met, but I would really love to get to know you more. Are you free tomorrow night? x’
“No fucking way!” I exclaimed as I sat up on my bed. “He actually – I’m.. oh my.. He’s asking if I’m free tomorrow! What – What do I say?” I asked as I got ready to reply back to him. “Tell him no.”
“…No?” I asked. “No, you don’t wanna seem too interested.” She said. “But, I am interested.”
“No, you gotta keep him on his toes! You have to get him to want you more. Let him suffer just a bit more.” She chuckled. “Are you sure?” She nodded. “Um.. okay..”
‘Hey! Yes, this is (Y/N) lol I didn’t think that you’d actually text me because I’m just a random girl you met at a party :P and about tomorrow, I actually can’t :( I’m busy, but I’m free the following day after that. x’
There. It’s sent.
“Okay, now let’s continue with movie night!” Victoria exclaimed as she took the control away from me. “I’m in the mood for some scary shit, you?”
Chime
I looked down at my phone and saw another text from Joel come through. “… I can see you’re in the mood for something else.” She smiled as I playfully pushed her. “Oh shut up, it’s just a text message.”
‘I’d be an idiot if I didn’t want to see you again :P and I’m definitely open to hang out the next following day if you are? x’
My heart is literally pounding out of my chest.
‘Where are we going if I say yes to this little hang out of yours? x’
‘Let’s keep it simple for now and maybe go grab a coffee? There’s a nice java place I know downtown. I can send you the address so you can meet me there :) seems pretty tame, right?’
He then sent me the address to the shop and I realized it’s not too far from here. “Are we gonna have movie night or talk about this mystery boy of yours?” Victoria asked as she finally decided on a scary movie to watch.
‘Hmm… coffee sounds great! Meet you there around 1? :)’
“(Y/N)?” She asked. “Hmm?” I looked up from my phone and up at her. “What was that again?” She just smiled and spoke. “Are you gonna watch the movie or are you gonna continue talking to Joel?”
Chime
“I guess I got my answer.” She laughed and pressed play. “We’re almost done – promise.” I looked back down at my phone and read his message.
“1 it is. I’ll see you then. x’
I placed my phone back down and got comfortable. “Have fun?” She teased. “… Shut up.” I laughed and watched the movie with the thought of seeing him again soon. Maybe Joel is different than… him.
~~
Joel’s P.O.V.
So I meet her again tomorrow.
I kind of wish I was meeting Emilia, but this will be over soon. (Y/N) and I won’t get attached. I was sitting down next to Christopher, watching him play Fortnite and softly curse at his screen.
“Oye Joel, quieres jugar conmigo?” He asked me as he set his controller down. “I can teach you how to play or we can play something else.” He offered and I shook my head. “Nah bro, that’s okay. I’m not really in the mood right now..” I looked back down at my phone.
“You’ve been texting someone all day. Who is it?” Chris asked as he went to put another game on. “Oh uh it’s nobody..” I gave him a small smile and as he sat all the way back on the couch. “Well, it can’t possibly be “nobody” if you’re constantly texting them.” He had a knowing smile on his face.
I placed my phone down and grabbed a control. “I’m not texting nobody. See?” He raised an eyebrow, but let it go. “Hmm..” The topic of me texting someone soon flew over his head as we played a variety of games. It’s a lazy day for us, so this is how we’re spending our time.
“Hey, I’m gonna go to the kitchen real quick and get something to eat. Want anything?” I asked as I stood up. “Uh yeah sure bro. What’s there to eat?” He paused the game and looked up. “I have some left over pizza?”
“Then pizza it is.” He smiled as I made my way over to the kitchen and opened the fridge.
Chime
I heard my phone go off as I quickly grabbed the pizza. “Hey uh Joel?”
“Yeah?”
“…Who’s (Y/N)?”
Fuck…
“Oh uh it’s… it’s just..” I warmed up the pizza as he continued talking. “I – I didn’t mean to look. Your phone was right there and I thought it was Erick or something.” I sighed. “No no it’s okay Chris. Don’t worry about it…”
“… So, who is she? If you don’t mind me asking…” I mean, he’s won’t say anything, right? “Chris, can you keep a secret?”
“I can..” I set a timer for the pizza to warm up as I walked back over to where Chris was sat. “Okay uh… (Y/N) is.. someone.. I just started seeing..” He smiled and patted me on the back. “Aye hermano! You’re finally seeing someone? Good for you bro!”
I gave him a small smile and cleared my throat. “Yeah I met her yesterday and I don’t want anyone.. you know..”
“Ooh the public doesn’t know about this yet?” I shook my head. “No! Please don’t let them know anything about this! It’s.. a secret.” He nodded his head. “Yeah no problem Joel. I won’t say anything.” He winked and held a thumbs up at me. A feeling of relief washed over me as I sighed. “Gracias, Chris..”
“Okay, now that this is out of the way, I can really go for some pizza.” He smiled and I laughed along with him. “C’mon, follow me. It should be done any minute.” He stood up and followed me to the kitchen. The less he knows, the better…
Next Chapter
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witchymoontigress · 4 years ago
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Soo this month as been a doozy.. My mom took over the local town restaurant & appointed me the cook.. Sweet cuz I am a Kitchen Witch & I love too cook.. But it's been real hard honestly.. I've kept my panic & anxiety in check b/c my mom started having panic & anxiety attacks herself.. Which is funny (but not in a haha way), my mom never understood depression, panic & anxiety attacks until she took over the restaurant.. The restaurant is owned by a non-profit club the "Lion's Club" .. Idk if y'all towns/cities have a Lion's Club, but all it is, is a club for older people.. They pay rent on the building & fix anything that needs fixing & replace any appliances that break.. The rest comes out of pocket.. The previous person who ran the restaurant decided he was over the restaurant business & became a semi driver.. Ok kwel.. He told the Lion's last month that the 1st would be his last day.. My mom waitressed for him for 10yrs.. As long as he ran it.. So my mom said she'd do it.. Well after she signed the contract, that's when she was told all the food came out of pocket.. Which means what profit is made $$ is taken out for food & bills & my pay.. She was going into the panic & anxiety attacks & my brother pulled me aside & said "Look u gotta keep your cool & help mom out.. Don't go into any panic or anxiety attacks, cuz mom is having them too & you have to be her rock right now.. She's done so much for you, now you can do for her.. If you feel a panic or anxiety attack coming on step out have a cigarette & a hitter or 3 (it's legal here).. But don't hide it all in either b/c we don't need you going into seizures.. Your main goal is to keep mom calm.."
Well I have done just that.. I have my attacks when everyone is asleep.. Then I sleep better after.. If I start getting stressed & feel the panic & anxiety coming on, I do a couple deep breaths & see if I can slip out for a smoke.. We have our rough days and we have our smooth days.. We have to get into the swing of things & we are slowly.. See it's a double edge sword for me.. My mother is my boss & she has high expectation of me, but she won't let me do somethings on my own.. We open at 6a.m. & since we live in a small country town the farmer's are in right at 6 a.m.. That is the ONLY time I am not allowed to cook by myself.. I've gotten to the point where I set the kitchen up while she set's the dining room up.. Then they come in & she takes their orders & comes back and cooks half of them & I do the other half.. From 7a.m. to 1p.m. I get to have my kitchen without her hovering over me..
Now this morning I woke up feeling like shit.. The headache I'd been trying to get rid of all week went straight into a migraine.. Everything was intensified lights, sounds, & even color just made my head beat harder.. Well after all the farmer's left & went out to finish their harvesting I started to get today's special ready.. Well after I got the meatloaf's in the oven I noticed we had NO gravy.. Well where we live we are 15 miles away from 3 towns.. 32 miles to the closest city.. So I had to run into town & get gravy.. I smoked all the way there & back.. About 20 mins after I got back, I felt so much better.. Nothing was hurting anymore..
After work mom & I decided to go get mani's & pedi's.. I haven't had my nails & toes professionally done in almost 18yrs.. I didn't get tips b/c I want my own nails.. So I got a reg mani with gel polish so my nails will get strong & grow on their own.. My nails will be their regular length by Thanksgiving.. I broke all my nails while being trained by the last cook/owner.. Now my nails will be back & all the same length..
I haven't been able to spend $$ on me in a pampering way like this since 2003.. My last 2 ex's didn't keep jobs long enough for me to do something for me with my own $$.. After my sons father & I ended our 11 1/2yr relationship in 2018 I had to start over.. So pretty much since 2018 I've had to use all my $$ to start our new life over.. Now I can afford little things.. Now my mom & I have a standing date once a month for mani's & pedi's..
My life lately has just been chaos since the 1st.. Didn't help that my mom held alot of information from me about the restaurant.. But like I said I keep my mouth shut & do what I am paid to do..
I did however make my Witchy Brew Stew for this past Mondays lunch special & this whole town just ate it up!! They loved it.. Today I had a guy ask me if he could take me home b/c he loved my meatloaf!! Lol!! I told him "Sure I have nothing else better to do.." Lol..
All is starting to smooth out & our lives will get back to normal.. (Who the fμck am I kidding?!?! Normal?? ROFLMFAO!!😀😃😄
Please keep sending blessings to us so we can get over this bumpy patch & get to the smooth road.. Lmao.. Thanks all!! Lotz of love!!💜💜💜🌛🌕🌜 ♓🔮♓
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noonaficcorner · 6 years ago
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Rose-Colored Boy | Part One
Paring: Mark Tuan | Reader
Genre/Rating: Friends to Lovers |  Fluff, Smut (later on), Slight Angst
Warning: Language
Summary: What happens when you get to meet one of your online friends in real life? Will the friendship hold up when you realize that everything is not as simple in the game? When the computer screens aren’t in the way, hopefully your walls don’t come between you and something great. 
Part One // Part Two // Part Three
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A/N: This is my first kpop fic so please be kind. I couldn’t get the urge out of my head to write, so here is part 1. I don’t know how many parts this is going to be, but enjoy!
“I swear to god, if you don’t get this asshole off my six I’m going to die and make sure I’m reincarnated as the worst ingrown nail on your big toe! Kill him!” Your voice carried so loud, you were sure that your neighbors assumed someone was really committing a murder. It wasn’t that you were normally a violent person, but the way that the game caused you to lose all sense of your surroundings and common sense, possession was the only semi-logical explanation for that kind of behavior. Your fingers started to ache from the intense banging on the keyboard and quick back and forth of the mouse beneath your palm, but you couldn’t stop. The rest of your team was in your ear, yelling out curses for help, and you were right there with them.
“Sinderella, reload! Reload!” FlyingRooster93 screamed in your ear, but it was too late. Just as you were taking his advice, a headshot took you out of the game.
“Fuck!” Your head fell to the desk and you wanted to beat something up or wallow, but a ding from the computer brought you back. It was a request for a private chat. Not really wanting to talk to anyone, you saw it was FlyingRooster93 and a small smile touched your lips before accepting.
FlyingRooster93: Sorry for telling you too late >_<
Sinderella: It’s okay. I should have gotten off hours ago. I start my new shift at work tomorrow.
FlyingRooster93: That’s right! Washing the asses of old people or something.
Sinderella: Not exactly, dumbass. I’m moving to the day shift and it happens to be on the elderly floor.
FlyingRooster93: Does that mean you’re not going to washing some old dude’s balls?
Sinderella: You just wish someone would wash your balls.
FlyingRooster93: You’re right, I do. I’m exhausted, too much effort. And you still didn’t say no, so I’ll take that as a yes lol.
Sinderella: Whatever! What are you still doing on anyway, didn’t you say you were going on some big trip or something in the morning.
FlyingRooster93: Crap… you’re right. It’s been so long since I’ve been on, I lost track. Thanks, Sin.
Sinderella: No worries. It will be another 83 long years before I see you again anyway.
FlyingRooster93: Dramatic much? Want me to draw you like a French girl, so you could then leave me to die in some ocean?
Sinderella: Maybe, but I need a sugar daddy to give me a big diamond first. Gotta pay for your funeral somehow.
FlyingRooster93: Should have known you only cared about wallet size.
Sinderella: Fuck yeah I do! Have to pay these student loans off somehow. But for real, will I see you sometime this decade or wait forever and a year again?
FlyingRooster93: Or I could text you as you hit on the grandpas….
Sinderella: …
FlyingRooster93: What? Want to hit on the grandmas instead?
Sinderella: In order for me to text, I would need your number or am I doing this telepathically?
FlyingRooster93: If you did, that would fucking awesome for one, but yeah, I mean, we’ve been on the same squad for 2 years now and we talk all the time. This is what friends do, right?
Sinderella: Friends…
FlyingRooster93: Are we mortal enemies or something? Sin, it’s no big deal. Here, 116-201-4947. I gotta go pack. Text me, okay? Don’t be freaked.
Sinderella: So bossy. Fine. You text me first. 868-112-2586.
Sinderella signs out.
The last thing you expected was to exchange numbers with someone you’ve been gaming with for the last 2 years. You didn’t know each other’s names, just handles, but for some reason, this made you nervous and excited. You both knew certain aspects of each other’s lives. Like age and the base of your professions, but that was it. You knew he was a “he” because his voice was one of the only ones you could pick out while playing. You didn’t want to admit, but it was a really nice one and somehow eased your game rage. But texting? What did that mean? Was this going to lead to phone calls? Video chatting? You turned around and looked into your mirror to see your makeup-less face and messy bun. Shuddering at the thought, you left your desk and jumped into your bed. Just then, your phone flashed with an incoming text. Why was your heart about to punch through your chest cavity? Calm the fuck down, it was probably just spam. Holding the phone face down in your palm, you slowly turned it over.
116-201-4947: Are you going to save me as FlyingRooster93 or should I give you my name as well?
Asshole. You laughed and your fingers flew across the screen.
Sin: I mean, a name would be nice, but I could also save it as pushy bird.
Mark: I am not pushy. But, it’s Mark. Should I keep calling you Sin?
Sin: I mean you can. But, it’s y/n. Mark… I was expecting something more manly.
Mark: It’s very manly. Anyway, go to bed, you have to catch a rich grandpa in a few hours. Night, y/n.
Sin: And you have to… go away for a million years. Night, bossy Mark.
Mark: ;-)
Tossing your phone to the side, a smile was on your lips as you laid back down. Your online friend was becoming less abstract and more real and it didn’t feel so bad. Even though you joked, you really hoped he didn’t ghost you like usual now that a window had opened between the two of you.
What you didn’t expect was for that window to stay wide open. Mark would text you almost every day. It wasn’t fully deep conversations. He would send you the occasional joke or something that crossed his mind. You would reply with a meme or snarky comeback. Your gif wars were insane, but made you laugh on days that were really rough either with work or at home.
There were things that were still a mystery. The fear of having voice or facetime was never tested because all you both did was text, but some truths were told. The 93 in his username was for his birth year. All the traveling he seemed to do was for work, even though he never said exactly what his job was. You found out that he had 3 siblings, but he was living away from his family due to work. He lived with his friends and he loved meat. Both of you talked about your favorite BBQ spots and some even overlapped. You found yourselves arguing when it came to which bubble tea places were the best. You even divulged some things about yourself. Like how you just moved out from home and living alone for the first time. How you really enjoyed becoming a nurse and hoped to move up in the hospital. Little facts were exchanged and you found the awkwardness melted away. It was nice to know more about a guy beyond how quick he was on the reload. Weeks turned into months, and before you knew it, two months had passed. However, when your phone rang one night, the shock at Mark’s name across the screen had you stuck.
“Hello?” You didn’t mean for it to come out as a whisper even though you were alone, but the surprise at the call itself had you on edge.
“Is that how you always answer the phone? As if you just did something wrong?” His laugh came in deep and hearty. You could tell he was smiling even if you didn’t know what that smile looked like.
“Well, when strange men call me after midnight, I’m not sure if I should answer.”
“Yeah, about that. Sorry. I just needed to talk and my hands were too heavy to type.”
“Likely excuse. Told you to stop rubbing it out so often, you’ll get weak bones and go blind.” Laying back against your pillows, comfort easing in as you listened to his laugh again.
“If I go blind, you have to take care of me before I get a dog.”
“Are you saying I’m dog-ish?! Wait, what’s that noise?” You heard some muffling voice through the speaker. It sounded like an announcement of some sort.
“I didn’t say anything. Anyway, I’m at the airport heading home. Finally, right? I start to board in about 40 mins and wanted to kill some time and…”
“And what? Bother my beauty sleep?”
“That was terrible of me; you need all the beauty sleep in the world.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know, I’m gorgeous even on minimal sleep.”
“Prove it. Want to meet up tomorrow?”
The phone slipped from your fingers as if it morphed into water. Meet. Up? Like face-to-face? Human-to-human? Was he serious?!
“Yes, I’m serious. y/n? Pick up the phone.” His laughter came through again. Shit, he knew that you dropped the phone and you must have spoken those last words aloud.
“Are you back, y/n? I’m coming home and I want to hang out with you and not through a screen. I know it’s shitty of me to spring this request on you this late, but you’ve really become one of my closest friends in just a matter of weeks and it’s just natural to want to meet, right? Or maybe I’m way off base and you don’t. Fuck, didn’t think about you…”
“Mark.” You said over his rambling,but he just kept on.
“I mean we text every day and I thought we could just watch something or go eat something…”
“MARK!” You yelled, and finally he shut up.
“Thank God. I didn’t think you would shut up. Do you want an answer to the question or would you like to continue with your monologue? I can get you a skull if you want to get deeper, hamlet.”
“Yes…”
“Yes you want a skull or you want an answer?”
“Answer damn it!”
“Yes. I’ll meet up with you.” You breathed out. You tried not to laugh at his eagerness, but the realization of what you just agreed to started to dawn.
“Okay… awesome.” He breathed out and you could tell the smile was back on his lips. Lips that you were about to be able to know what looked like. Shit.
“I promise I’m not some psycho killer, but would it be okay if we met up at my apartment? It’s just…”
“Sure. I’m off tomorrow so I can just, go there?” You interrupted. You didn’t want to sound so eager yourself, but you were trying to beat back the worries that started to build up in your chest like a bad case of indigestion. You wanted to meet him, he’s basically been your friend for two years, why would this be hard?
The sound of the announcements came through the speaker again. “Crap, that’s me. I have to board. I’ll text you my address and a time that works. See you tomorrow y/n.” Before you could even say bye, the line went dead. As you sat on your bed staring at the phone as if it would bite you, Mark’s text came through with his address and apartment number.
Holy shit! You were really going to meet FlyingRooster93 in person.
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Black Eyes & Bloodlust - Chapter 14
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My Masterlist
Black Eyes & Bloodlust Masterlist
Summary: Dean has never met his Omega, never even thought there could be one waiting for him–but she’s out there, and they’re connected in ways they could never have imagined.
Characters: DeanxReader, Sam, Cass, a few OC’s
Warnings: Eventual smut so typical A/B/O warnings, Slow burn (and I mean it. SLOW BURN GUYS.) Language, depictions of mental illness, Gore and Violence, (Warnings will apply to all chapters just to cover all the bases.)
Word Count: ~5,100
A/N: I love you guys. All of you. 🖤 SO SO SO sorry this took so long, but thank you to everyone who held out hope for me lol 
Unbeta’d for reasons, if you find mistakes that irk you bad enough feel free to message me :) 
Enjoy!
__~*~__
Your whimpers started the moment Dean closed the door behind him, and he knew it was your body succumbing to the heat boiling in your blood. Being surrounded by his scent, coupled with whatever Castiel had done, made it inevitable. He was physically and mentally feeling every jolt from your system as your body cried out for him, but his groin was receiving the worst of it. 
He’d resolved not to take you unless your body started to fail because he wanted you aware and coherent during the act, but with every clench of his gut he could feel the tether of his control rasping thinner. His Alpha was chomping at the bit, fuelled by the Mark and ravenous for the feast of Omega lying so helpless and ripe for the taking.
Being out of the room hadn’t helped at all. Instead, the only thing he could think about was your spiking scent, so thick in the air he’d smelled you halfway from the car and ten times worse when he closed the door behind him. He was worried about other Alphas being drawn over, and even though he knew once they scented him they’d turn tail, it still made him anxious. He wasn’t in a state to leave another Alpha alive if it came to a confrontation. 
He shut the hotel latch at the top of the door, just in case.
Dean knew there were things he should be doing; plans he should be making and enacting to clean up the aftermath of your little spree, but you were wrapping around him so completely he was drowning. Dean needed you to wake up before he lost control. Between the heat simmering under his own skin and the unreadable waves of emotion roiling inside his head, there was no telling how long either of you had left before things took a dangerous turn.
Dean’s cock felt like stone as he adjusted his pants to pull it against his abdomen, tucking the swollen head uncomfortably behind his belt because there was nowhere else for it to go. Every inhale had his throat constricting, even as he distracted himself with rearranging the room until he had the keyboard set close enough to the bed that he could sit and play while still feeling your presence. The dark energy swirling around your aura matched his own, and keeping close so they could meld made him feel calmer. Made it easier to control the urges firing through his system from all directions.
Going to the car had been the kind of torture that rivaled a few things Dean had experienced in hell; the perceived loss of you making something dark clench in his chest despite knowing exactly where you were. Dean didn’t like it, and he didn’t know what to do with it aside from hitting something, so he put the feeling away, tucking it safely into the back of his mind with the hope that they’d figure everything out before he had to examine it too closely. One thing at a time, he told himself. Gotta wake the girl up first.
The girl.
My girl.
Every doubt rose up then, and he shook away the tear that threatened to fall. He’d faced so many things with Sam by his side, but this was something they’d never really talked about. You were going to change everything for both of them. He wasn’t sure he could handle it without fucking it up. Or fucking you up worse...
Dean thought’d he’d done enough damage, he didn’t see how keeping you instead of sending you back to your normal life would benefit anyone, least of all, you.
His eyes flicked to where you lay uncovered but still clothed, blanket strewn about your feet and eyes twitching under the lids. You whimpered again as he shifted for a better look at your face before he forced himself to turn back around.
__
Blood was everywhere; layers of it caked under your nails, half dried tracks smeared up your arms, freshly dripping, almost black, patterns of macabre decoration splattered across your face.
Your hazy reflection wavered in the mirror, grinning viciously as black eyes followed every movement of your tongue over your crimson fingers.
You cringed inwardly, disgusted with yourself and more than a little confused. You were trapped again.
Not trapped, a soft voice, almost feminine in quality, whispered. Set free. This is the reality of your kind. Humans. This is your truth.
The mirror shimmered, twisting until you were straddling the first Omega’s chest; you hadn’t bothered to learn her name. Asphalt dug through your pants as you kept her arms pinned to her ribs, the tiny, jagged, rocks poking painfully at your knees through your jeans. The girl was screaming, begging to be let go as you smoothly cut at her, sailing the razor thin blade through her creamy flesh like a hot knife through butter. You could feel your mouth moving, but the words weren’t forming. It was like watching an old silent film as she writhed, and you talked without making a sound. Her mouth gaped open into a red, bloody, hole of pain as she took her last shuddering breath. The moment the light left her eyes you knew she was free. Her pupils caught your attention as you looked over your handiwork, deciding what to do next. 
She didn’t feel...done. 
The slick, wet, red rolled off the silver blade as you tapped it thoughtfully on your leg, letting your subconscious lead the way. You hummed in satisfaction when you realized the answer was staring you right in the face. 
With a snicker you leaned forward, intending on plucking her eyelids right off, but halfway there her head snapped up, her glossy eyes honed in on you. Her pupils swelled quickly and sucked you in, toppling you head-first into a black river that swallowed you down and spiked poison through your veins that burned like hellfire.
Every kick of your feet was useless, every gasp for air only earning mouthfuls of sludge.
Swathed in the darkness, you could see everything; feel everything. Every moment of pain in your life was laid bare then shoved back inside you until it was all that existed. Like being flayed alive, the pain was so icy-hot that the drowning stopped so the fire inside could grow.
Things you’d never experienced worked their way to the surface, bubbling thick against the film of your own pain before breaking through, nasty pockets of inky black tar and when they popped, everything went white.
Thick, heavy claws ripped into your chest, digging in right at the center to snatch that white-hot ball between giant teeth like serrated blades; hellhound; grief so deep it twisted everything in your gut so tight it felt like you’d never breathe again; Sammy, Bobby; guilt so heavy it crushed your bones and  minced any bit of happiness with pangs like boulders to the chest; Jo, Ellen, Ash, Dad, Pamela, Hell; wide hooks digging into every soft spot, slowly tightening until tension rips them away, taking mangled chunks of you along for the ride; Alistair.
You wanted to vomit, but when your mouth opened you felt the scream in your throat.
__
After ten minutes of staring at the keys and physically restraining himself from climbing into the bed, Dean couldn’t take it anymore. Your whimpers sounded so helpless, and every few seconds you tossed over, curling and uncurling into a ball with your arms thrown across your stomach. Every time you moved the air stirred, making his nose twitch and an unwilling rumble form in his chest. There had to be something wrong. It’s been so long…
He had to touch you. 
Dean told himself it was just to check your fever, and he was thankful he did.
He hissed as his hand came away from your forehead hot, your skin even more heated and slick than it had been when he laid you down. It was then he noticed the darkened circle of wetness you’d soaked into the bed, and panic rose in his throat.
OmegaOmegaOmega, his subconscious chanted as he jumped off the bed, but Dean forced himself through the sludge. Omegas...What do i know about Omegas? Help. Have to help. There had to be something.
Every bit of knowledge he knew was rattling around in his head was suddenly gone, like something had taken that box of memories and replaced it with a sign that said Knots help Omegas.
The Mark had flared to life the second his skin connected with yours, and he saw the truth. Your body was failing. He was going to have to knot you. 
Of every scenario he’d imagined and planned for, this had not been one of them.
There has to be another way. There’s always another way.
As best as he could, he tried to remember the basics of what he’d learned about Omegas in middle school.
Normally he would just ask Sam if he didn’t know something, but just the thought of his brother set his blood boiling, and his brain was hyper-focused, so it was time for the next best thing. Dean sat cautiously down on the edge of the bed and pulled out his phone to start researching.
__
The sludge was slowly turning to tar as you kicked and fought fruitlessly. The sinking feeling was literal as you slid deeper, the nasty slick of tar caressing every piece of you, but then something changed.
A jolt ran from head to toe, snapping your eyes open and your feet to the ground. Your flailing weight brought you the rest of the way down, dropping you like a stone into a bed that made your stomach twist.
“And how are we feeling today?” Dr Mara questioned from your bedside. Her voice was deeper than you remembered, her face charred and twisted when you turned to look.  Her cracked lips stretched into a wide grin.
What the hell are you? You were asking the words, but they still wouldn’t come, and then she was responding but her mouth wasn’t moving and nothing was making sense.
__
Skin contact. Knots. Dean’s cock throbbed heavily as his eyes skimmed over article after article. It all came down to connection. “Fuck,” Dean whispered into the darkness, absently palming himself. He couldn’t take it any longer and finally removed his pants. Just the pants, he told himself. Just so it doesn’t hurt so bad.
Another way. Another connection, his coherent brain demanded, and like an answered prayer it came to him.
Play.
__
Your fingers were burning, and you were sitting at your piano. You knew it was the day you’d lost control. The day everything had really started to go nuts, but instead of the smell of home, there was only Dean. The Alpha was all around you, and even in the dream your body clenched.
__
Dean fiddled with the first notes as his phone started playing.
He watched you carefully as he let it play through once, pleased with how you calmed. When your breathing evened out Dean restarted the song, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was difficult ignoring the way his cock throbbed and his chest tightened painfully with your scent burning through his nose, but he managed. This was best. He let his twitching fingers do the work, operating on muscle memory, so his mind was free focus on you.
He’d thought it would be hard to remember, but with the music playing in one ear and your steady but labored breathing in the other, he let himself go, quickly getting lost in the storm of rage, and lust, that had been cooking inside for far too long.  Heat flared on his arm when his phone went quiet, but Dean didn’t stop playing. He couldn’t have opened his eyes if he’d wanted to, his fingers pressing harder and faster against the only thing connecting him to you in the moment.
Well, not the only thing, but Dean was pretending he wouldn’t see a glowing red mark on his arm if he opened his eyes.
He felt it when your hands landed on the keys; smelled the musk when fresh sweat broke out over your skin, and heard your voice when it joined his playing. The sound had his head whipping around, only to be disappointed that you were singing the words in your sleep.
__
You looked curiously at your arm as sun from the window peeked through the curtains, perfectly highlighting the rash you’d had for as long as you could remember.
But I haven’t had it forever...what is that? For reasons unknown, seeing it was a strange comfort. It was a gentle reminder of something you couldn’t put your finger on, but the soft warmth it was pushing into your heart was getting warmer the longer you sang, building into a pain that stole your words and twisted them into sobs.
__
When you started crying, Dean pushed away from the keyboard so hard it rattled on the stand and almost toppled over. Fuck this. His remaining clothes were tossed away carelessly, but a flash of something he’d read shortly before crossed his mind. 
With great restraint, Dean gathered the clothes he’d discarded and a few more shirts from his duffel and dropped them to the bed.
I can do this. Skin contact. Just skin. Dean huffed a huge breath, steeling himself for what came next. You were still singing, although at a mumble, as he ripped off your pajama pants, shirt, and against his better judgement: your panties, before climbing up and slotting himself against your side. The harsh racking of your chest calmed with the feel of his skin on yours just as he’d hoped, and he pulled the piles of cloth to bunch up around your other side. Ever so slowly your mumbles faded to soft whimpers, but the tears continued. You rolled into his chest, instinctively seeking out the combination of scent and warmth that felt safest. Dean  allowed himself to reach an arm across you, his hand a solid presence on your spine as he pressed his lips close to your ear, trying hard not to rut his hard cock against your leg like a horny teenager as he scented you.
He was a fully grown Alpha, he could contain himself, but damn if it didn’t feel like the hardest thing he’d ever done. Dean’s voice felt like rocks grating in his dry throat when he finally growled out, “Omega.” Your body tightened in response, curling in and pressing closer. Dean took it as a good sign. “Been gone too long. Come back to me.”
Then he sang.
__
“Every road you take, will always lead you home.”
Dean’s voice echoed through your foggy mind, tugging at something in your chest and distracting you from the instrument before you.
Dean. The name brought a wave of excitement tinged with anxiety. Suddenly exhausted beyond belief and tired of the pain, you stood, almost collapsing with the sudden fatigue, to follow the crooning sound of his voice.
It sounded like he was coming from your room, so you let the sliver of light spilling from under the door into the hallway guide from the darkness you hadn’t realized you were still steeped in. Your feet felt like cement bricks as you trudged the span of your living room to the edge of the hallway, too sluggish to move any faster despite the rising sense of desperation.
My heat. Fuck. The thought shot across the frantic landscape of your mind, reminding you harshly of yet another thing you’d been avoiding. Possibly the most important thing. 
A deadly thing. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, you mused. 
A cramp rolled between your hips and you had to brace against the wall or risk falling into something worse. You had the surreal feeling that one wrong step would take you further down this rabbit hole instead of pulling you out. 
Dean would pull you out.
Every motion felt like a heavy hand trying to wrench your tailbone out through your belly-button. 
The hallway seemed long, but Dean was right there. You knew if you could just get to him, everything would be fine. 
You could practically hear the promise of his soul calling out to you.
That was the light spilling out of your room when everything else was descending into the darkness, you realized distantly. His soul. “Omega.” The command seemed to pulse in your arm. Come back to him. 
You wanted to, but you suddenly didn’t know if you could. Your feet grew heavier, and when you looked down, solid black boots of concrete were growing thicker around your ankles.
The darkness that connected you was also trying to pull you away from him, and you couldn’t understand why.
What the fuck is happening to me?
Closing your eyes to the quickly dimming hallway, you put one foot in front of the other, scratching and scraping the walls to help pull you along for what felt like 40 years until finally, blissfully, there was a doorknob in your hand.
__
“Dean?” The single croaked word brought Dean back to the moment after he’d drifted off, rutting his hips against your leg like he’d been trying not to. His eyes were laser focused as he stilled and pulled back just enough to see your face.
Your eyes were open, trained on his face, and he thanked whatever God there was that they weren’t black. They were the same perfect color that had been haunting him, although rimmed with red and watery from your tears. “Y/N,” he asked cautiously, his voice thick with obvious restraint, “that you in there?”
All you could do was nod, noticing dazedly the sheen of sweat covering him and the hard set line of his jaw before a cramp rolled through your stomach. The smell of him registered finally, scattering your wits before you’d gathered them. “Dean,” you whined, reaching out despite being pressed against him already, but he was already there. Effortlessly he was on you, rolling to press his body long and hard over yours and pushing away the sudden rush of emotion trying to assault you. Terror, lust, guilt...
“I’m here ‘Mega. You’re safe now.” He sounded so confident and his weight was so solid, so steady and so fucking real, you couldn’t help but believe him.
Without another thought you pressed your lips to his and wrapped your legs around his hips to grip him tightly. You realized you were both naked already and sighed happily into his mouth as his lips parted for you, letting you explore him before he took over. His body felt like heaven against your heated skin, every cell crying out for what only he could give you. “Alpha,” you moaned when he rutted the underside of his cock down your soaked slit, “Need you.”
“I know, ‘Mega,” he grunted, pulling back to get a good look at you. He couldn’t help the grin as you whined for him, feeling bereft.
“It’s so bad, Dean,” you groaned, pushing up for more, searching for anything to soothe the ache.
“Shh, I got you.” With your legs locked around him, Dean couldn’t do much, so he squeezed his hand between your bodies and rubbed quick, strong circles over your clit until your legs clamped tighter. He had your thighs and stomach quivering quickly, and unable to hold on they released, your legs falling to the bed helplessly. Taking advantage of the easier access he slid his hand down, thick fingers teasing at your entrance as his thumb took their place at the top of your swollen folds. Your back arched and liquid lust flooded your veins when he spoke. “That’s it ‘Mega.” he crooned encouragingly. “That’s my good girl,” you bucked your hips harder into his hand, his voice and fingers working to beckon your orgasm on. He dropped to one arm by your head, hovering his lips over yours while the other hand moved faster, sliding his thumb over your clit and pushing slightly inside your spasming entrance and holding them there until you wailed out your first orgasm. 
“Fuck, Dean” you whispered as your hips relaxed down to the mattress, a gentle clench in your core and the fire still burning through your veins telling you that you weren’t anywhere near done. That didn’t seem to be a problem as Dean captured your mouth again. Without warning he plunged two fingers deep into your pussy, curling them upward in search of your spot and earning a surprised gasp from you that he consumed happily, his tongue reaching inside your mouth in search of your taste. Dean groaned as your wet heat swallowed his fingers eagerly, clenching and trying to pull him deeper. He’d only pumped them three times before you were ready to crest again, your fingers clawing at his back, his arms, his ribs, anything you could use to keep from coming apart at the seams. As his fingers slowed, your hands relaxed enough for him to feel comfortable with you touching him where he wanted it most.
“Grab my cock, ‘Mega. Feel how hard I am for you.” He jerked his fingers inside your pussy, finally finding your spot and making you squeal. “Think about how hard I’m gonna knot this sweet little Omega pussy.” With a sloppy nod you brought your lips back to his. You fought back a gasp, but it still came out as a gurgle, when your hand closed around the base of his cock.
The question of ‘will it fit?’ only had a moment to process before he was pulling his fingers from you. He scooped your slick along with them and used it to coat his cock before lining up with your twitching hole. The arm holding him up started to shake as he looked down at you for confirmation. After holding back for so long, he was surprised by his own resolve. If his Alpha had its way, you’d have been a hormonal wreck, awake or not, hours ago.
“Please,” you whined, rolling your hips until the head of his cock sank in. Unable to deny himself with you surrounding him so completely, Dean took the hint and pressed forward. Your eyes rolled as he easily slid deeper, slick easing the way for him to open you wider than you’d dreamed possible. Breath left your lungs in great heaves as you clutched at his shoulders, pleasure tingling through the pain until all that was left was a sense of completion that sang through your body.
“Fuck, ‘Mega, so tight,” Dean groaned, dropping his weight down to smother your mouth with is own as he bottomed out. He couldn’t get enough of how good you tasted. It was almost better than your smell.
“First--Alpha,” you managed through his kisses, squirming impatiently. With his chest pressed so close you felt the growl reverberate through you just before he started moving. The burn of his cock stretching you open faded quickly as his body slid down yours, and the first thrust had you seeing stars; the second, crying out his name.
Everything fell away as Dean was finally overcome by his rut, the Alpha in him demanding he take what was his by right. Sweat poured as he started a reckless pace, filling you over and over. The clash of his pelvis into your clit stole your pain and confusion, replacing it with heat, and love, and pleasure, that had you threatening to splinter into a million pieces. Dean’s knot started to swell, and you felt his sac tighten against your ass. He was grunting into your ear, whispering gibberish you were sure was supposed to be words, but it didn’t matter because everything in you was focused on the tightening coil in your gut.
Being with an Alpha was fulfilling; it felt right. So right, and you couldn’t believe you’d put it off for so long.
“Gonna knot you baby,” were the only words that registered before he was slamming inside harder than before, lodging his quickly thickening knot as deep as it would go just before it popped and triggered your orgasm. The careful decision not to mark you went out the window alongside his original plans to use a condom as your body locked up and your scent spiked. Dean’s teeth sank deep into your shoulder, pulling a scream from your already raw throat. His sweaty forehead was forced into the pillow as your arms and legs flexed around him, your walls shuddering and milking his cock until he was spilling inside you.
Dean felt the pangs in his arm at the same time you did, and his teeth dug deeper. His snarl was drowned out by your second scream as his cock throbbed heavily inside you, spurting more cum than your body could handle and pushing you higher and into another round of shivers as you felt it leak out around his knot.
He lay panting on top of you as he recovered, laving the bloody bite mark with his tongue to stop the bleeding and soothe the sharp ache he knew you would feel. A soft grunt from you made him realize he was probably crushing you, and with a small chuckle he rolled. His knot tugged against your entrance, making you moan until he wrapped his arms tightly around your back. The unfamiliar feeling of being so unbelievably stuffed sent a buzz tingling along behind the lingering vestiges of your orgasms, but mixed thoroughly with the throbbing at your neck. Dean kept you snug to his chest as finished the roll and settled back into the mattress with your body draped across his.
The beating of his heart echoed through your ear as you tried to catch your breath, the electric feel of his skin under yours not fading like you’d expected. Dean’s fingers combed through your matted hair, stopping for a moment on your forehead. You snuggled into the touch, but when he was satisfied you weren’t feverish he let his hand drop between your shoulderblades. You were disgruntled at the loss, but when his calloused fingers started to trace lazy circles across your skin you settled. You hummed softly, easily getting lost again in the buzz of...whatever was connecting you.
A mark is connecting you, your mind provided helpfully, but the full feeling where your body joined with Dean’s kept your mind fogged and let you push it away. Logic told you everything about this was wrong, but biology was telling you otherwise. His fingers now held a tether to your heart, and it seemed to beat in time with his movements now. Maybe it always had.
You turned your head until your chin rested in the dip between Dean’s pecs. When your eyes met, fresh heat bloomed. How was someone so perfectly beautiful so real? 
How was that someone yours after all you’d done? Another round of slick gushed around him and mixed with his cum, trickling more out around his knot. His jaw dropped slightly with the feeling, and your hips wiggling prompted him to thrust up. He grinned at the way your eyes rolled before closing. His hands trailed further down your back until he could grab your ass in both hands and hold your hips down with unexpected strength.
You groaned when the action pressed your swollen clit down against him and he started to grind with slow, gentle motions. “Fuck, Dean,” you whispered, getting lost in the sensations before he released you.
“I know, ‘Mega,” he grumbled, “but I’m afraid we got some things to talk about before I fuck you again.We’re probably gonna be here a while.” You ground your hips down petulantly in disagreement, mewling low in your chest. You sat up slowly, ignoring his protests that you’d hurt yourself. Carefully, you slid back until you were seated upright, mounted on his cock with your legs on either side of his hips. The view was everything Dean could have imagined and more; he couldn’t have dreamt a sight as wonderful your body rising above him as he filled you from below, perfect breasts swaying in time with every movement. It took everything in Dean not to cry out at the pull of his knot inside your clenched walls and your nails digging hard into his chest as you adjusted to the deeper angle. He wanted to snatch your hips in his hands and knot fuck you, but you’d said…
Fuck, he realized, she said first Alpha. The thought had his cock twitching inside you all over again.
Dean’s body was a tension rod, hands fisting into the sheets and heels digging into the mattress as he remained ready to snap the moment you showed any sign of being really ready.
The slick your body couldn’t seem to stop producing was helping his case, easing the slide of your clit across the hair on his pelvis as you experimented with the different angles of your hips, despite being unable to move very far. 
Your hands trailed down his chest, nails leaving white lines that flushed red after they passed. One hand continued the trail to your mound, sliding between your joined bodies to feel where his knot was locked inside you. Dean threw his head back into the pillow, slamming his eyes shut against the temptation. He felt your pussy clench around him as you seated your palm against your slit, your fingers sliding to either side of his cock and increasing the pressure. His hips jerked up involuntarily, making you squeak in surprise.
“Woah, Alpha,” you soothed, forcing your eyes to stay open and trained on the harsh lines of pleasure running across your mate’s face.
Holy shit. Mate. The marks on your neck and arm tingled in response. Dean’s hands came to rest on your hips, unable to refrain from touching you any longer. It was almost too much as you moved, your free hand guiding one of his to your breast. Dean’s eyes popped open and he went to work without prompting, his gaze eating up the way your nipples tightened to little buds under his ministrations. His fingers faltered when his eyes fell to your neck, where his mark lay.
He stilled, feeling like someone had thrown ice water over him. You whined and moved your hand faster, pushing yourself back to the peak in no time, never noticing his reaction. Your orgasm hit just as his knot softened, your walls fluttering and clenching around his oversensitive cock and making him release the cry of your name that he’d been holding back. He grabbed your tits so tight you knew there would be bruises.
The pain amplified your pleasure and you stayed over him, shoving down harder while shuddering and whimpering until the last waves faded.
 When you opened your eyes you saw the blood trickling from his lip from where he’d bitten down and felt a flash of guilt.
Your pout as you slid off of him had to be the cutest thing he’d ever seen, and almost broke his resolve to talk everything out once he caught his breath. 
Almost, but not quite.
Dean wanted to properly introduce himself. He couldn’t have you thinking he was just some knot-brained Alpha. “Time to talk now?” he groaned, rolling to his side so he could see and touch you.
“I guess so,” you mumbled with not entirely fake discontent. You put both hands under your cheek  and watched him carefully, fully intending on letting him take the lead for the conversation. That’s what Alphas were for, after all. It was probably for the best too, because all you could think about was the thin trail of blood starting down his jaw and when he could knot you again. He’d found you and brought you here, he had to know something, but your mind was still buzzing happily and you could feel the heat licking under your skin, building back up quickly. You needed more.
“Um--well--” He started haltingly. All that Alpha confidence had left him all of a sudden. When you quirked a brow he chuckled and wiped a hand down his face. “This is awkward.”
“I dreamt you up, you knotted me, and your mark is on my neck, but now it’s awkward?” You couldn’t help but laugh at his expression, and then yourself. Your first full sentence to him was a smartass remark, and you couldn’t say you were surprised.
The ridiculousness of the last year of your life had your booming laughter quickly turning to tears. The playful smile was quickly gone from his face, and he leaned forward to capture your tear-stained lips into a kiss.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Y/N,” he whispered against your lips.
“You keep saying that,” you mumbled back while returning his kiss.
“And I mean it.” He pulled away with a smile that was a little more composed than before. Dean cleared his throat importantly as he looked straight into your eyes with a sly smile. “Hello, Y/N. My name is Dean Winchester, and I’m your Alpha.”
__~*~__
Questions? Comments? Incoherent screaming because I took 5000 years to get this chapter up?
Bring it on!
🖤
__~*~__
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