#gotta come up with a new writing tag system

[einzel-the-demon]

2015: I'm trying to write a queer fantasy book and working hard at school. I compose music for my story. I am in love. (but of all 3 these things, I don't realise how much they mean to me) 2025: I'm trying to write a queer fantasy book and working hard at school. I compose music for my story. I am in love. (and of all 3 these things, I know exactly how much they mean to me)

Go on this journey with me?

[miri-tiazan]

Fresh from the archives, new unhinged 00Q chatfic!

So, @cicerfics and have been writing unhinged 00Q chatfics and headcanons back and forth in DMs for uh… going on two years now, and it seems like perhaps the time has come to unearth some of these from the archives and dust them off for sharing. Accordingly, here is the very first chatfic we did, inspired by this comment thread on Ch. 7 of cicer’s delightful fic the warmth of your doorways!

tags: omegaverse, mpreg, weird omegaverse hormone nonsense, menopause

---

miri-tiazan: Oh God. Cicer. Doesn’t even have to be mpreg but…

Omega Bond going into his first heat in decades and just spontaneously deciding that Q’s flat is the Only Acceptable Location to nest in. They’re not even dating! Bond’s just broken in a few times! Q has no idea why this is happening!

Q just gets an alert from his home security system one day and Bond is There and he’s like, refinishing the window trim in the second bedroom or something. And also he won’t leave. Surprise, Q! You have a roommate, and he’s hormonal! Enjoy your new home improvements!

cicerfics: ...Okay, now that we're talking about this, you know what I'm a little bit obsessed with right now? The entire question of menopause in omegaverse. I don't think I've ever seen an a/b/o fic REALLY explore that concept, but now it's fascinating to me!

Like, what if nesting is a thing omegas only do when they're pregnant OR going through menopause? What if Bond (having never been pregnant) never experienced any of these instincts/urges and thought he was impervious to them? What if he hits 44/45, enters perimenopause, and is absolutely BODIED by the urge to:

a) Acquire a nice house b) Renovate, refurbish, and redecorate it c) Learn to cook d) Start a lil herb garden or something and maybe make some pesto??? e) Acquire a lover/companion to feed up and care for f) Acquire some pets/babies/random houseplants/literally anything that requires his protection and nurturing

Poor dude has ZERO experience with these types of urges. But when they appear, they hit him like a TRUCK. And his own flat is way too cold/sterile/crappy/lonely for proper nesting. There aren't even any cats or quartermasters in there!!

So, yes: one day Q gets home from work and Bond has simply annexed his flat/cats/kitchen. There are already overflowing bags from the hardware store scattered around the flat, because Bond has made up his mind that three different rooms need to be repainted, the bathroom needs a complete reno, and oh yeah, he's replacing the sofa because this one simply Isn't Right. The vibes are Bad. Bond Doesn't Like It, so it's gotta go.

Also, there's pasta sauce simmering on the stove and probably a trifle waiting in the fridge, and the cats are wearing new designer collars.

And sorry Q, but if you didn't want a hormonal new housemate/husband who is going through The Change...too bad. You got one anyway! He's here to stay...and no, he doesn't understand what's happening to his body/mind, either. Good luck, everybody!!

Continued on AO3 here:

00Q Chatfics and Assorted Headcanons (2391 words) by cicer, miri_tiazan Chapters: 1/? Fandom: James Bond (Craig Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James Bond/Q Characters: James Bond, Q (James Bond) Additional Tags: Omegaverse, Mpreg | Male Pregnancy, weird omegaverse hormone nonsense, Menopause Summary: Lightly edited chat transcripts between cicer and miri_tiazan: some live-written fics, some random headcanons, some plot-free fluff, all 00Q!

[darthgabius]

Event: Magical Menagerie Gift Exchange 2024

Main ship: Sirius Black x Severus Snape

Side ships: Bellatrix x Lily | James x Narcissa

Rating: T+

Word count: 8,995 (complete)

Tags: Fantasy AU, Magic Systems, Fluff, Romcom, Rivals to Lovers, Magical Items

Gift to: @fiendishfyre

Summary: Every year eager apprentices and their renowned masters gather at the Hogsmeade Yuletide Fair in order to showcase their advancements to the people of the land. So, it should come to no one’s surprise—really—that one Sirius Black would find this to be the perfect opportunity to test out his latest creation. Nor should anyone be shocked—at all—that Severus Snape ends up having a terrible day.

Notes: This was my first time ever writing for this ship and I hope I’ve done them justice, both Severus and Sirius are amongst my favorites so I have a ton of love for them ❤️💚 to get into their mood/dynamic I completely immersed myself in the stunning starprince artwork from incredibly talented artist @intotheswollenriver (I swear this artist is the backbone of this ship) 😮‍💨🪭

READ IT FOR FREE ON AO3

Excerpt below

Because Severus’ life is anything but uncomplicated, it doesn’t take longer than seven minutes once they set foot in Hogsmeade for their group to cross paths with the miscreant apprentices of Dumbledore.

A stupid grin breaks on James Potter’s face as he notices their group—more specifically, Lily.

Sirius Black, as always, is smirking in that infuriating way of his. Long black hair, that rivals Bellatrix’s, tied up in a ponytail.

Much to Severus’ chagrin, he stands three inches taller than him. With impeccable robes and boots, as one would expect of any member of House Black.

His smirk grows as he notices Severus staring.

“There’s a painter next to our booth, we can commission him a portrait of me if you want, Snivelus.” Red, it’s red all over his vision. “But I gotta tell you, I’m a bit of a jealous type, dunno how I feel about sharing a spot above your bed next to your Riddle love-notes.”

If Severus is not careful, he’ll break his project with how hard he’s squeezing the ceramic shaker in his hands.

“Stop being mean, Sirius.” It’s Bellatrix who answers, and the shift in the other Black is immediate, his smirk transforming into a more genuine smile. “Also, Severus doesn’t have any love-notes written about our master hanging above his bedding, that’s just ridiculous.”

Black laughs and raises his hands in defeat.

Before the cousins can say anymore, Potter opens his big mouth.

“Hey Lily! Looking lovely as always, I love that, what’s that? Er—snake and flower embroidery on your robes.” Daft as he is, he doesn’t seem to notice how the temperature seems to drop even lower than what it already is.

“Thank you, James.” Lily’s smile is friendly, but polite. “I made it myself.” And the boy obviously misses how the same exact pattern—a snake wrapped around a lily flower—is also embroidered to Bellatrix’s black robes.

“That’s so amazing, you’re amazing—” Potter laughs. “What are you up to anyway? Would you like to—”

A few things happen simultaneously.

Black sighs like someone who’s about to witness something he doesn’t want to and Bellatrix steps in front of Lily, blocking Potter’s view. A smile that doesn’t even pretend to be anything but predatory widens in her striking face.

“Oh, hello James, it’s lovely to see you.” And she continues speaking over his confused ‘Hey… Bellatrix,’ “Did you hear the news? Apparently Lucius wants to court my sister, and as a matter of fact I think he just told us he was taking her on a walk, isn’t that right, Lilian?” Bellatrix doesn’t look back at Lily, whose green eyes widen for just a second before she slowly nods.

“Yes, Bella, to the rose garden with the mistletoe canopy.” The color drains from James Potter’s face.

“What,” he says dumbly.

“Oh yes, and you know how Cissy is, ever so the dutiful daughter,” Severus mentally scoffs, if there’s something Narcissa isn’t, it’s dutiful. But of all the Black children, she’s the only one who’s got Bellatrix fooled.

Narcissa plays her part perfectly, but at the end of the day she does whatever she wants.

“She would never say no to Lucius… you know there’s been talk about their marriage since they were babies,” she continues. “Just the other day Nicola was telling my mother how she couldn’t wait for more blonde haired Malfoy children to run around the Manor.”

Women are devious creatures, thinks Severus as he watches James Potter, with all color drained from him, sprint away from their group.

Lucius is secretive, but it’s hard to keep a big secret in Master Riddle’s workshop. They all know Malfoy’s been meeting with Evan’s cousin, Pandora, since the summer solstice.

And Severus knows Narcissa enjoys giving Potter a hard time. She told him once, “He’s young, he needs to get his impatience out of his system before I give him a third of my attention—Potter gets bored, only boys get bored,” with a small smirk.

Women.

“Sirius.” The eldest Black says in a warning tone.

“Bellatrix.” He responds nonchalantly.

“I told you that you should be more discerning of your company.”

“James is a great guy, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

And before her temper starts acting up, Black pulls his cousin into a hug and kisses her cheek sweetly. The elder girl nearly disappears as she’s engulfed by his brutish form.

She’s soon laughing and chastising him, but with no bite.

There’s a total of five people who can handle Bellatrix without her being aware of it: Master Riddle, her grandfather, Sirius, Narcissa and Lily.

Severus sometimes wonders what would happen if she were to ever become aware of it.

“So, where’s Reggie?” Asks Black as he herds his cousin to a slow-paced walk. His long arm hung over her shoulder. To anyone walking, they could pass off as twins.

It’s the small weight of Lily’s hand on his forearm that stops him from silently slipping away from the nightmare-ish company.

“Let’s go, Sev?” Lily’s green eyes are kind, her freckles less pronounced with the colder season.

[CONTINUE READING ON AO3]

Note: this scene is not the beginning of the oneshot!

[seekforwarmth]

hello and welcome to this month’s fic rec featuring my favourite works from what i’ve read during the past weeks. as always, please check tags before reading. if you liked the fics please reblog their posts, leave kudos and write a nice comment. happy reading! 🔒 = only for ao3 users rec tag | more rec lists

— harry/louis —  

໑ Tongue Tied by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf (G, 1.2k, roommates, curses, love confessions) Louis’ new bestie placed a hand on his shoulder; he turned with a sway and looked into his blue eyes. ”What do you wish?”The world spun for a moment, and Louis shrugged. It was easy. The only thing he wanted. “I wish that I could tell Harry that I love him, instead of getting all tongue tied and chickening out.”The Irishman winked. “You never know, your wish may just come true.”“From your lips to God’s ears, mate.” He gave the man a hug. “I gotta go before my Uber leaves me.”He stumbled to the door, and that was the last thing he remembered from the night.

໑ Touch the Sky and Kiss the Sun by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup (T, 2.1k, friends to lovers, soulmates au, famous louis, makeup artist harry, injury) Louis Tomlinson knows without a shadow of a doubt that Harry Styles is his soulmate.

Harry Styles, Louis is virtually certain, is completely unawares of this fact.

໑ David S Pumpkins by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup (NR, 3.1k, halloween costumes, fae & faeries, samhain) Louis has a Halloween party to go to, and the perfect outfit to wear. It's a little odd that people in weird clothes keep appearing and disappearing. Skeleton outfits? A three piece suit covered in pumpkins?

Mysterious.

໑ Lovers in the Night by @marchessa (E, 4.2k, a/b/o au, prostitute louis, truck driver harry, semi-public sex) “Can I help ya?” The trucker asked with raised eyebrows. Louis shook his head to get out of his daydreaming and get to work. “Hello, handsome,” Louis smiled up at him prettily, making sure to bat his eyelashes in a seductive way. “Want some company?”   The one where Harry is a truck driver and Louis is a prostitute at a truck stop.

໑ PILOT by babby_cakess / @_babby_cakes (T, 5.2k, pilot/flight attendant au, semi public sex) “We have fifteen minutes.” Harry glanced down at the watch on his wrist. “How fast do you thinkmy tongue can make you come?” Still against the wall, Louis felt a shiver run from the back ofhis neck down his spine.

In three years walking on moving planes, he'd never had such zero control over his legs.

At least not until now.

໑ White Noise Frequency by whoknows / @crazyupsetter (E, 5.5k, friends, crimes & criminals au) In the dark, something crashes. Louis stirs, barely opening his eyes as he gropes across the bedside table for his phone. Muffled cursing is coming from the hallway, probably about ten feet away from the bedroom door.

Allowing himself the tiniest of smiles, Louis yanks the phone free from the charger and slips out of bed, leaving the blankets pooled on the floor. He doesn’t bother with shoes or clothes, moving silently across the floor in his bare feet. Eyes open now, adjusting to the shadows in the dark room, he waits behind the door, crouched down.

There’s no more noise. Louis waits, breathing slowly, steadily. He’s awake now, fully alert. He’s got a loose grip on his phone, and he doesn’t glance down at the screen no matter how much he wants to. This really shouldn’t be happening anymore. Three years, two new houses, an upgraded security system and actual money to throw at the problem means this definitely shouldn’t be happening anymore.

໑ Spiders Don't Fly But Gods Do by SunshineBoy742 (M, 6.6k, strangers to lovers, marvel au) Louis Tomlinson is an underpaid photojournalist in NYC. He leads a pretty average life, getting shots of town heroes, dodging flirtatious remarks from old coworkers and being the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. But what happens when a sex god comes to crash in his apartment?

໑ always had that heart of mine by localopa / @voulezloux (M, 7.8k, enemies to lovers, a/b/o au, roommates, nesting) louis is nesting, though he won’t admit to it. between being ill, the stress of uni, and near drops, the only thing keeping him afloat is harry’s scent. the fact they don’t get along is neither here nor there

໑ The Knothead Neighbor by Kbbean / @Kristen09924842 (M, 8k, strangers to lovers, neighbours a/b/o au) Prompt 3: Neighbors AU, preferably ABO! Harry works evenings/nights (maybe like a surgeon something that requires him to be gone for long hours) and has a cat. The cat has a little kitty door at the back so that it can explore and such. Louis just moved next door and the cat seems to always end up at his door.

໑ Sugar Water by neversaygoodbye / @tomlinsunsfringe (E, 9.4k, exes to lovers, summer au, ‘cowboy hat’) When his most familiar begins to feel all too unfamiliar, Harry finds out what it means to love like real people do.Or,Harry comes back home from Princeton and has to face the consequences of his actions.   The songs for this fic are 'Changes' by Cam and 'The World Spins Madly On' by the Weepies.

໑ you know it ain't fiction, just a natural fact by anditsonlyforthebrave / @HARRYSC1NEMA (NR, 13k, strangers for lovers, uni au, himbo harry, nerd louis) Harry is the golden boy of the college football's team, Louis is their professors' golden student and they definitely don't have anything in common. Falling in love would be dumb.

໑ only you and you alone (can thrill me like you do) by camilevol6 / @svnflouwervol6 (E, 13.3k, established relationship, a/b/o au, 50s, housewife louis) Harry wrinkles his nose as he fights Louis' dress to get his hands underneath it, panting deeply.

"Alpha…"

"I'm still hungry, Louis," he claims with a severity that is derailed by his ragged breathing. "I thought I heard you say you were going to take care of everything."

໑ Stockholm Syndrome by Hazzascul_07 / @hazzascul (M, 13.5k, strangers to lovers, a/b/o au, kidnapping) "That's it!",Harry screamed in his face, "I'm done with you! I'll take you to your home, where you belong, where your father will be waiting for you with a belt in his fucking hands!"

He could not go home. He was finally free. He will do anything to not go back to that place. He desperately and uselessly tried to free his hands, stumbling on his feet.

"NO! No! No please, please, please don't take me back, please! I'll behave, I'll listen to you, I swear! Don't take me back, Harry! Please! Alpha!!" By now tears were flowing down his cheeks.

Screw his stupid brain and his stupid heart. He was too good for the world. He was too hopeful to think that Harry was any different from his father and his brothers.

It was true, all the alphas were the same.

All with their disgusting need to control and breed and ruin the life of an omega. To take and take and take, and never give anything back.

It seemed as if expecting goodness from the world was a crime and he was the biggest sinner.

໑ Sunrise and Pixie Dust by @moonyblouie (M, 14.8k, strangers to lovers, fantasy au, fairy louis, human harry) Harry's taking a walk at sunrise in the forest he knows like the back of his hand when the wind starts blowing, the sky turns pink, and golden glitter starts to fall from the sky. He’s not sure about what’s happening, but when he comes face to face with a gorgeous winged-creature, he can’t help but be immediately mesmerized.

Or an AU in which Harry finds himself crossing the borders between two worlds.

໑ i've got something to confess, i keep you in my pocket to use by babylwt / @finelineangie (E, 16.7k, strangers to lovers, hockey player harry, journalist louis) Prompt 251: Harry is a hockey player and he's in the middle of a press conference when Louis, a journalist, asks him a question. Harry sees him ans says something like "oh my god, he's so beautiful" to his teammate and only realized his mic was on when the pretty boy blushes and the room breaks in a laugh

໑ Swap me for your shadow by @lunarheslwt (E, 16.8k, friends to lovers, a/b/o au, 5+1 things) If Louis thought being in love with his best friend was a knife that continually twisted into his heart before, it was nothing compared to when Harry started to go around talking about having fallen for someone else. A 5+1 fic; 5 times Louis has to listen to Harry’s vague confessions of love for his ‘omega friend’ and the 1 time Louis snaps and confesses his love for Harry.

໑ A Package Deal by @alltheselights (E, 19k, enemies with benefits, doctor louis, cop harry, biscuit the cat) For the past three years, it's just been Louis and his one-eye orange cat, Biscuit. When Louis starts sleeping with Harry, the aggravating cop stationed at the ER where he works, he has no reason to think anything will change. Unfortunately, Biscuit and Harry have other plans.

໑ it was all by design ('cause i'm a mastermind) by tempolarriefics / @tempolarriefix (E, 22k, enemies to lovers, mastermind au, co-workers) “You can’t be serious. You think I would be so awful to work for - you would rather quit?”“Don’t be all high and mighty about it,” Harry scoffs. “Surely you would do the same.”“I’m not being high and mighty. It’s called being professional.”“Really?” Harry pushes. “You’d work diligently under me with no complaints? You’d do whatever I asked of you?”“That would be my job, so yeah.” Harry shakes his head. “I’d work you so fucking hard,” he says slowly, “that you’d have to quit.”

໑ splash me across the silver screen by pleasinglouis / @pleasing-louis (E, 22.8k, established relationship, 70s au, actor louis, cinematographer harry) Louis is a struggling actor who gets nervous when he's being filmed and Harry comes up with a plan to help him relax when the cameras are rolling.

໑ 🔒 Scorpions et mandragores by Stria (Asia117) / @nooradeservedbetter (E, 23k, dark fic, vampire harry, human louis, read tags and author’s notes) Vampires were rich gents, well-versed in the unspoken rules of polite society, knowledgeable about an infinity of topics, ready to lend a hand in historiography debates. Vampires were charming, fashionable, mysterious. Vampires drank synth or donated blood, played nice with humans, didn’t bite anymore. Vampires were nice, non-threatening.

What a load of bullshit.

໑ The Bluest war and peace by @hazzaslittle28 (E, 27.1k, a/b/o au, enemies to lovers, betrayal) For centuries the Black Haven pack had a tradition where the first born omegas and alphas were to be introduced to each other. The pups were barely ten, dressed in their finest clothings and made to look presentable.   That's when he first saw his ruins and he knew that he was never going to be the same.

໑ I found an angel so divine by april_iris / @april_kmm (E, 31k, strangers to lovers, eternals au, superpowers) Eros/Harry is a dreamboat with singular powers who loves love more than anything and longs to feel it one day, and Louis is the kind human who shows him the way.

໑ Deleted Scenes by Stria (Asia117) / @nooradeservedbetter (E, 33k, strangers, mystery, amnesia, italy, minor violence) Agent Harry Styles was injured on the job a few months back, and gets roped in one last mission before he can retire prematurely: playing house with Louis, a widower who has amnesia. The assignment seems simple at the beginning, but soon enough Harry's twisted in a web of his own making, and can't get out anymore.

໑ Tainted Love by Darling28 / @darling-28 (M, 39k, exes to lovers, famous/famous, miscommunication) Broken awards, cut-up blouses, childish pranks and lots of nastiness? This is apparently all that remains of Louis and Harry after a sudden break-up and they walk a fine line between love, revenge and jealousy.

Will the two find their way back to each other or are they both too hurt?

໑ all the small things you do (remind me why i fell for you) by Ashisinlove / @ashisinlove28 (NR, 53.7k, strangers to lovers, a/b/o au, pack dynamics, arranged married) Prompt 68: Pack alpha Harry only wants to marry for matrimonial benefits but no other omega wishes to marry him for his reputation of being a big scary wolf who snarls at everyone for even breathing the wrong way. Omega Louis, to improve his pack’s condition, decides to be Harry’s pack Luna but is taken aback by how soft and sweet Harry actually is with him. AU where Harry is intimidating pack alpha but is very sweet and lovely with his soon-to-be mate and would do anything for his pack Luna, even make fool of himself in front of everyone just to see his giggle.

໑ Love Me If You Dare by BoosBabycakes / @boosbabycakes28 (E, 54.7k, childhood friends, growing up together, games) Harry and Louis’ friendship starts with a game, after a simple dare. The two little boys quickly become the best of friends and referees of their own game. Unfortunately, as they grow up, they sometimes become the victims of it too.With them, everything is possible. They are capable of daring each other to do anything. But will they dare confess their feelings for each other?

໑ Sink Into Your Sunlight by @starryhazelou (E, 79.6k, strangers to lovers, college au, hurt/comfort, time skips, exes to lovers) Louis hadn’t forgotten about Harry as much as he tried. It wasn’t due to the strange nature of their meeting, more so the magnetic pull he somehow had on Louis. He couldn’t fathom why this complete stranger stayed in his mind as much as he tried to stop it. Any time his phone sounded his heart skipped a beat at the thought of it possibly being Harry. In all honesty, it made him feel sort of pathetic.

Gay guy falls for straight guy, what a cliche he had become.

— rare pairs —

໑ The Cyber Sphere by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom (louis/dermot o’leary, E, 17.5k, strangers to lovers, rich louis, writer louis, radio host dermot, artificial intelligence) As the author of The Cyber Sphere, a series of best-selling books which have spawned seemingly limitless spin-offs, Louis Tomlinson hides away from the world in his fortress-like London penthouse. But when he decides to interact with the host of The Cyber Times radio program, Dermot O’Leary, on Twitter, it causes a fandom meltdown and offers him hope for a future he’d never imagined.

OR the one where Liam likes to think he’s Batman, Dermot has terrible taste in sporting teams, and Louis should really get a cat.

[self-loving-vampire]

I don't really want to reblog your post saying this because I feel like that could be annoying but I've gotten a lot into gacha games (specifically Bang Dream, Project Sekai, D4DJ, Blue Archive, and now Zenless Zone Zero, in that order) as a 25 year old plural trans failgirl and despite enjoying them I know they are bad for me and it is my policy to not recommend them

and basically every time I find myself posting gushing over their stories or whatever I feel the need to asterisk myself with "this is a gacha game so I'm not really recommending you check it out". And like, I don't know, I feel like I should say it and it's necessary but it also feels a little tedious I guess. Like, everyone who I follow and who follows me knows this already so aah. But also then again I thought I already knew that the psychological manipulation and gambling was bad and etc and I still ended up getting super OCD over it and losing a lot of time and money to them and I would not wish this condition on anyone else. Which I guess is a more than good enough reason to continue the asterisking even if it's tedious in the same way it's tedious to say "content warning" or "spoilers for _____" or tag anything bothersome so people can filter it and sometimes you might forget to but you gotta do it anyway.

Anyway I uh. I do have like fifteen years of game playing experience prior to the gacha games where I played no gacha games. So if that counts for anything my favorite games of all time (and these are all non gacha singleplayer games) range from like,

Psychonauts (1 and 2), Milk Inside a Bag of Milk, Subahibi, killer7, Night in the Woods, VA-11 HALL-A, Tsui Yuri ~Okaa-san ni wa Naisho da yo~ (the incest yuri visual novel), Shadow the Hedgehog, if found..., Kindred Spirits on the Roof, Dishonored, Gunpoint, Jet Set Radio Future, and most importantly Senran Kagura (but not the gacha one), and many others but I'll just stop typing them now

Also I recently played the System Shock remake, which is kino and beautiful

Anyway I hope this confession is allowed. I really like your posts and your ask box has a very confessional vibe to me sometimes so I still feel compelled to it. Um, yeah. I guess, play those games. And not necessarily any gacha games. (Do that at your own risk, but also probably, really, seriously don't)

I've been trying to write a more formal essay on how gacha games can have good things in them but unfortunately still suck but ironically it hasn't yet come together because I've been distracted playing the gacha games. Hopefully I figure out that problem... Maybe with drugs or something (please)

Yeah, I don't think they are entirely bad (I still look at and reblog horny pictures from some of them often) but I wouldn't play one of those again even with full confidence that I won't fall into a gambling addiction because even putting morality and financial risk aside the very fact that they are trying to push players into it ends up worsening the rest of the game design.

Games these days (not even exclusively gacha) are sometimes deliberately made more tedious and inconvenient just for the sake of selling a solution to these invented problems. Paying to remove some arbitrary limitation or to skip a grind, for example.

The controversy around the new Star Wars Battlefront 2 contrasted with the original game highlights this very clearly. Things that used to just be a part of the game included by default are now things you have to either gamble for or play for an unreasonable amount of time to unlock. It really did not have to be that way, as demonstrated by the original game.

I think if you have been playing them and noticed all the issues it might be worth it to ask yourself if you're actually enjoying yourself on the net. Not just if the games have something in them that's worthwhile but if they are actually a fun way to pass your time. Is it play, or is it a chore you put up with to avoid falling behind or missing out on the things you do like? Would you be missing on much if you engaged with the story through youtube videos instead of playing the game yourself?

And if you do end up deciding you could be having more fun with something else, it's not like there's a shortage of other games, especially if you look into older games. Many of these are free or easy to emulate.

Looking at your list I think we have different tastes but if you enjoyed things like System Shock and Dishonored then you could maybe look into the first Deus Ex, Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, or Arx Fatalis.

(Also this is a confessional now? I guess it gives people an excuse to picture me dressed up as one of those ero anime nuns even as I maximize blasphemy and apostasy.)

[deathlygristly]

I am reading the reblogs and tags on an older post that goes around the dash occasionally. It's about reading. I'm sure you've seen it - someone talks about Divergent books and 1984 and then someone reblogs it and calls 1984 rape apologism? Which is really weird?

The spousal person ordered a print of this Kate Beaton comic many years ago and he hung it up in the hallway and he told me to go look at it whenever I said my writing was bad:

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=44

The first two panels do a fairly decent job of explaining 1984. Which is just....a really simple book. It's like wow look fascism sucks! And that's it, pretty much. Like yeah, obviously you could write papers and essays and a thesis and probably do a whole body of academic work on the particulars of it, but really it's just that Orwell thought fascism sucked. Which it does, so I don't see the problem?

Anyway I am pretty sure a lot of the people on that post come from a very different society than I do, even though the education system they say they hate is the American one. Which, hey, our education is locally funded and controlled so maybe it's just that my working class southern Appalachian rural county schools were a lot better than their schools? Or is it maybe what I've suspected before, that I graduated before No Child Left Behind?

I can't recall my English teachers ever being authoritarian to the extent so many other people claim their English teachers were. Not that I can recall that much about English or school at all, really, but I think I would remember if they marched around all "No, your essay is WRONG and only MY opinion is right!!!" all the time.

But then it's true that I don't remember it that well because I just wrote essays the night before they were due or sometimes in the classes before English if it was a class later in the day, and then I got a good grade and nice comments on it and then I got on with my life. I don't think I ever invested nearly as much emotional energy and idea of my self-worth into English class as the people on that post did. Which maybe that's why they remember it so well? Certainly it's probably a large part of why they still have Big Emotions about it.

Anyway my point is that sometimes I read how people write about their own reading and I'm like oh. This is why I shouldn't care what people say about my work that much. I clearly did not write it for these people who experience the world and fiction and the written word in a way that I cannot imagine at all and that I would have never known existed as a possibility if I hadn't read their own words about it.

Like the version of the post that gets the most reblogs ends with an essay about how in the last few decades people have come to expect characters to be "relatable" and to be like them and to think and experience things the way they do? And there's all this self-identity and irrational and false beliefs about your own moral purity involved?

If you come to my work with that sort of thing in your heart you will bounce off of it, and I have finally come to understand that the bouncing off is for the best for both of us.

If you're new here and you haven't read my stuff yet, here's the pinned post with the directory on my Simblr: Story Index.

Anyway, gotta go to bed now. It's just....I don't think I ever realized just how differently people experience fiction and books and the written word from how I experience it before. Like in the tags someone said they expected 1984 to be more Hunger Games-esque? How is that person perceiving reality? I want to live inside their brain for a bit to learn.

[asgardian--angels]

Thanks for the tag @droids-in-disguise I miss doing these!!

Last songs: let's see at the gym I was just listening to my favorite Finntroll album, Nifelvind. Also just in general the past month I've been listening to the Arcane soundtrack, esp The Line, Ashes and Blood, Spin the Wheel...yknow, things that make me cry

Favorite color: midnight blue, if that's what you call it. that gloaming turquoise-blue when it's not quite full night yet.

Last books: I haven't had time to read many new books but in the last few months I read 'The Triumph of Seeds' by Thor Hanson (science nonfiction), and reread The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice (fiction)

Last movie: jfc what was the last film I watched?? oh, I guess it was when I rewatched Nope after getting it on bluray for Christmas.

Last TV show: Arcane. hence the jayvik takeover

Sweet/savory/spicy: i have a sweet tooth like nobody's business. anything but spicy really my spice tolerance is so low it's in the ground

A beautiful relationship in my life right now: ...... :/ idk really. my mom, I guess. She's the person I'm closest to in my life, we're best friends. but I don't really have much else.

Last thing I looked up: searching North American species of the crabronid wasp genus Oxybelus to try and ID this tough little fucker I photographed last summer and it still has me stumped. They gotta work on getting specimen photos of all species so I can compare scutellum and axillae maculations!!

Looking forward to: next week I'm seeing Chris Fleming with my friends in Boston, I have tickets with another friend to see Korn & System of a Down perform together in NJ this August which will be insaneeee, uhhh.... I'm looking forward to continuing to write this (turning into a pretty long) jayvik fic that I've been working on the past month, as always I am looking forward to the end of winter when the bugs will start coming out again (as an entomologist, this is what I wait for!) and the chance to find more rare bees this year. Hopefully more travel - my friend and I are planning a trip in the near-ish future to New Zealand, and if I'm accepted into a field course I applied to I'll get to catch bees in Arizona for 10 days.

Current obsessions: jayvik. jayvik? jayvik. it's taken over my brain 24/7 to the point I've barely gotten any work done the past like, month and a half lmao. Also, I start the year off competing hard for the #1 spot in my county for birding (birding can be competitive if you let it....you can rank by number of species seen in a county, state, country, even specific location). Year rankings reset Jan 1, so everyone's off to the races. Last year I held the #1 spot for a month (I eventually lose out to the retired folks who can just. go hard), I've been stuck at #2 for a couple weeks now because it's a colder winter and some of my half-hardies I can usually get (hermit thrush, field sparrow, turkey vulture) don't seem to be around and it's not a winter finch irruption year so the siskins, redpolls, purple finches, and red-breasted nuthatches are all but absent. Haven't been able to track down a bald eagle which is so silly because I live on a major river and they're always around. Never have I been so happy to find a ring-billed gull to make species #46 for the year.

I'll tag some cool people on here: @hawkpartys @4amarcanethoughts @hexcoreviktor

[tennessoui]

Professor can-fuck-me format was great! I would love to see other stories collected in one spot like that to read but i would also kill for a full regency and playmaker fic.

thank you for saying!! i feel like this is such just my own bias for myself but i have always thought in my head that ao3 shit is like. 5-8k or longer and tumblr shit is 1-3k and if i write something 4k i gotta sit with it and figure what what i'm trying to say lol and that's so silly, i can post things on ao3 that are 2k, 3k long and i have read and adored short fics on ao3 so why am i like that personally

so i do feel like i should defeat the bias and just copy-paste a lot of my fics on here over to ao3 regardless of word length.

but it's hard lol

it's so hard, i only want to post the ones that i've added stuff to until the 2k words become 6k >:(

also i feel like there are so many drawbacks of the tumblr writing system and i hate them all

BUT there are some really good parts!!!! it is so easy to jump around in timeline with tumblr, it's so easy to link to other fics, it's so easy to just have a tag for an au and come up with a bit of a story and then come back later with the full ficlet for it and then come back even later and just add a new ficlet....i love that part of tumblr that's how my mind works !!

but all that being said, outside of regency au and playmaker au is there a ficlet on here you'd like to see on ao3? i hardly know where to start tbh

[sabotsen]

🍀 dont you DARE put more angst in hashtags. Roland IS gonna get reactions out of me because anons dont die. That's the plot armor you get for wearing cool sunglasses.

I think if he heats himself enough it will keep a hooman alive. Maybe grumpy but alive and uh-uh who was it logging in every day to gather cogs to pretty up his dorm. Huh. Who was it. Us. So either he works his bread or he will forever be sitting with a [bed] or [shelf] text balloon in an empty box. Zero mood, you hear me.

On a side note Sabo hun can you please stop stabbing us for ONE MINUTE- QAQ I just found new goofy funny blondie and you be spawning angst with him bro chill massacre is a lipstick not an instruction for a way of living

I've been so drained by work I actually fully forgot what I wrote and my inital reaction was, "I would never do that to you nonny. 🥺 What are you talking about" but no I did write something in those tags lol. 🫶

May your cool shades and plot armor keep you safe eternally bc if anything happens to you, that's it. The show is over and he is left alone on the bloodied stage. You can't leave him alone like that, dear. A pierrot is no good without his companion.

Hey hey hey! He gifts you things for those dorm accessories!! 🫵 sure there might be a playful bomb in a few of them but they are still gifts! (Real talk tho his dorm sleepy line about him so unused to how soft a bed can be cripples me every time.... 😭 my guy there are so many soft, gentle things in this world you don't gotta burn yourself out for someone else's dream...)

Also lmao I'm gonna frame that. "Massacre is a lipstick not an instruction for a way of life" 😔 i didnt post any angst for him yet tho!!!! I sent it all to rezy instead lol. uvhash is such a silly little guy i love him. Who else proudly gives you a glow in the dark jaw bone? I'm shoving him in a jar and shaking him like a maraca. I hope he comes home to you nonny, I hope he bursts into your dorm room covered in blood and gore with a giant grin on his face bc he wants to show you something RIGHT NOW 🤲

I promise I'll write something cute/soft for him after I get these two angst fics out of my system. I have to hurt us both first so the soft moments are all the more enjoyable

[ilguna]

hii! idk if you do this stuff but do you have tips on how to start build an acc? like mutuals followers just general stuff. i'm kinda stuck lmao.

ahhh this one is a hard one to do. if im being honest, i’ve had this account for a while, at least since 2017 😬 buutttt i took a look at your account, im liking the vibes.

when it comes to fanfiction and building an account, usually you have to start writing and posting. i would suggest looking at some of your favorite writers, especially on tumblr if it’s gonna be your main domain and see how they layout their post and try to do something similar.

i’m going to use my acc as an example but there’s many other ways you can go about this.

when i’m looking for fanfiction, i like to see the title of the fic and the person that im looking for specifically. i do it as the title of the fic, some people have it in the body of the text posts.

next i try to summarize it to let people know what it’s going to be about. when i look for fanfic, i have something in mind that i want. i always put warnings because it’s the easiest thing to do/keep track of. sometimes fics can get heavy.

i put a word count in case someone doesn’t want to get caught up in a long fic and they’re just looking for something short and sweet.

and notes is where i put anything important. for that fic, it was the fact that it was based on the taylor swift song. if you’re ever writing based off a certain episode of a show, i would put: spoiler: season x, episode x. or s2ep3. something in that general format.

next comes your fanfiction. people will either love it or hate it. and that’s totally fine. you can put your heart and soul into something and they don’t have to like it. you’re just putting your works out on the market, if they wanna read they will!! if they wanna come back, they’ll follow!!

and tagging is probably the most important way to get traction, in my opinion. i have curated this tagging system over a couple years. it seems to work pretty well. the only rule that i NEVER break is that i DO NOT tag fandoms or characters that are not the main interest of the fic 🙅‍♀️

for example, if the fanfic is about finnick, there is no way that i’m tagging a side character like katniss just for existing inside of it. it clogs up the katniss tags.

anywayyy, that’s my unsolicited advice for writing in general. you just gotta write and post. people will find it in the tags. will you get a bunch of likes/reblogs overnight? not at first. but as long as your works are consistently good, people will follow and come back.

followers on tumblr are not a huge deal. most of the time, people are finding your fics through the search function. they’ll like and move on. if your writing sticks out, that’s when they search your account.

i do not base my entire account around followers either. people will follow and then won’t interact for a loooonggggg time. or ever again. there’s nothing you can really do about it. it’s nice to see a high number but it’s not the end of the world

AND when it comes to mutuals? i don’t really have a lot of advice. i got a lot of my mutuals from the colby brock fandom (shout out to them) back when it was like 15 of us and we were running the whole fanfiction game lol. we still follow each other, but hardly interact.

and it’s kinda the same for some of my other mutuals 🤷‍♀️ i love them all. i think about them sometimes. if we talk to each other, that’s great. if not, i’m not gonna get all uptight about it. life gets in the way and we lose interest in shit.

mutuals are nice if you’re boosting each other’s fics. or to talk to about the latest news with the fandom. yknow. they’re just an internet friend.

i hope this helps? this is just the basic stuff too. when it comes to layout and colors and making your profile look all aesthetic-y, you figure it out over time. i’ll be here if you have any questions 😊

—

edit: also, make sure you turn on anonymous questions!! people usually like to request fics on anon!!

[dq9]

Hey I gotta ask.

How do you find all of this yuri on ice art?

You reblog/queue/save so much of it and yet I wonder how you keep finding new stuff. Do you just have a super deep scroll on a tag permanently open? Did you queue it all in one like 48 hour scroll? Some secret third option? I gotta know

a few options, theyre all at least partially true!!

there are a bunch of active yoi blogs!! harocat, jewishvitya, neutronice, cecebeanie, vityascielo, and blended-ice of course all come to mind, but theres plenty more i havent mentioned that i can get all sorts of yoi art from. i have a fairly consistent stream of art to queue/draft/reblog/etc which keeps me queue goin

a lot of (anime) blogs active around the 2016/2017 era of tumblr will have smth yoi related on it. this includes my own old blog for instance, but plenty of ppl have tags taht stretch back years with plenty of new stuff for me to explore. or even just stuff i havent seen in awhile

theres blogs from back in the day, for instance, that got permission to repost art from other sites like pixiv onto tumblr, like story-kat!! story-kat posted fairly consistently up until this past year, and they have SUPER extensive tags with plenty of stuff to look thru

when my drafts were in the 4k range, most of that was done in a few concentrated bursts. id find blogs w yoi tags, like story-kat or neutronice, and look thru people THEY reblogged from, look thru their tags, look thru Their reblogs, so on and so forth. sometimes if someone didnt have tags but they did reblog lots of stuff at that time, id go thru their archive to see if there was anything new or fun or exciting.

yoi was super popular when it came out!!! theres nearly endless art and writings and meta, and lots of it is still being made now!! i follow the tag as well, so i see meta posts from people such as thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, neutronice regularly gets art commissioned for their fics, blended makes fantastic art with so much heart and love. theres a lot to sift through, and all of it is great

thsi is like a super detailed answer but like tldr: art-cheology at work god bless tumblrs tagging system

[pumpkin-spike18]

✨Weekly Progress #32-33✨

It's been an emotionally tough two weeks. Much (if not all) of what I've been planning hasn't been going well ^^;;

Weekly Progress #32

Posted devlogs

Worked on Outlines

Finished Punk BL Part 1 Outline

Finished SFB sprite lineart

Concepted + outlined VF project

Wrote 2.1k+ words for VF

Sketched VF sprite

Weekly Progress #33

Wrote 2k+ words for VF

Finished 1 VF sprite

Flat colored other VF sprite 4/5 outfits

Finished Punk BL Part 2-3 outline skeleton

Designed 1/4 LIs for Buggy BL

Wrote 6k+ words for Punk BL

Finished Buggy BL outline skeleton

When 2024 started, I had some goals and plans for my devwork this year. I hoped to start developing commercial games. I didn't expect all of my plans to work, but I also didn't expect none of it to work the way I planned.

So while I said to myself, "Welp, that just means I gotta replan and make a new schedule for 2025!" it was still difficult for me to hype myself up for that.

I planned to join Velox Fabula 2 to cheer myself up, but despite writing over 4k words and completing a sprite... my willpower simply disappeared and I gave up completing the project.

I might finish it in the future, but the stars misaligned this time.

It is a Quick Transmigration, multi-lifetime story between two people. The story was planned to be vignettes of moments between the two characters, but I realized I wanted something more and the scope was already too big for a small jam like VF2.

Punk BL Game

That's not the title, I have no idea what the title will be. I hope an epiphany will hit me soon because idk how to tag my posts otherwise. Or I'll have to go back and edit a lot of posts.

It's a rather big and ambitious idea. This will be a turn based battle/hybrid VN with some dating sim elements. I wish I had a single word to describe it. Perhaps I'll have to do some more researching for similar games.

The story is about Silver, whose been ordered to defeat the gangsters who run Lucidus City. If he falls in love with one of his rivals, well, that'll depend on you...

(did I post this image before? I feel like I have, but I can't find it on my own blog LOL...)

The story is split into four parts (currently); writing for ith as come so naturally that I did 4k on Friday night. These are sketches for the main characters of the first part. The MC, Silver. The "love interests" (once again, I hesitate to call them so because they won't get traditional romance routes. I'm still unsure if they'll get actual romantic endings) for part 1 are: Drayton, Gordan (Danny), Caleb, and Evan.

Any guesses to who the yandere in this story will be.

(Just some expressions I picture him making throughout the story)

Buggy BL Game

The other untitled BL game I've been daydreaming about. Thanks to discussion with some friends, the basic concept is: a bunch of bugs get stuck in a death game, similar to the idea of Kodoku.

I only have the base outline and one of the LIs designs finished. Meet Butterfly, one of the more uncooperative love interests you get to meet in the death game.

Actually, all of the love interests are quite uncooperative...

I haven't finished developing the rules and stakes of the death game yet, but I know for a fact that variable control will be essential to this game. I have a bad feeling future!Pumpkin will be ambitious and try a system where who you let die early in the game will affect later trials of the game...

Other than that, I'll be finishing a few owed artworks this week before I dive into rescheduling my long term gamedev goals for 2025 and beyond.

[stardusthuntress]

It will all be tagged "zenith writes" to make it easier to find.

NEW! taglist poll!

I write for the Clones of Star Wars x reader. You may request a GN!reader version of anything, OR if you spot something offensive or problematic and would like to (politely) let me know that there's a nicer way to phrase it, my inbox is open! Or if you want to pop in and say hi, dm me!

I just write when the inspiration hits. Mostly using this as my emotional processing system - just gonna write it all out. Shouting my nerdiness and pain into the void, maybe one day it will shout back (in a good way, hopefully). Thought others might relate and or have similar comfort mechanisms, so here's my work if ya wanna bother to read any of it!

Key: (consider ALL below to be NSFW, 18+)

* = smutty, even if mildly so, expect mentions of arousal and the like at a minimum

FOLLOWER CELEBRATION!!! There's ~150 of you now!!! (STARS that's a LOT!) And you guys decided you want more of my 'Right Attire' set! So that's what's in the works! That being said, FYI the title might change... (I promise I am still working on these!)

...and back to your regular programming!!!

The Bad Boys of Clone Force 99

Sergeant Hunter

* What Does Beauty Look Like? (female!reader) one-shot, implied smut!

* the Right Attire (afab!reader) one-shot, smut

ARC Corporal Echo

* a Gala-ctic Evening (afab!reader) one-shot, but featuring a smutty *Part 2!

* Hot... in So Many Ways! (femaleMandalorian!reader) one-shot, but will eventually have a smutty part 2!

Crosshair

To Speak Without Words (female!reader) mini-series, WIP (just Ch. 1 rn, 2 is in the works!)

Somebody to Lean On (female!reader) one-shot, hurt-comfort

Tech

What Does Real Love Look Like? (female!reader) one-shot, but I couldn’t resist making a *Part 2! With a happier ending that’s starting to get a little smutty!

* Turn Ons (gn!reader) drabble/imagine

EnigmaTech (female!reader) mini-series, WIP (Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, ...) my Tech lives AU! (he lives, but they still gotta go get him, and Cross, and Omega, with reader's help!)

Concealed in a Touch (gn!reader) one-shot, touch-starved comfort fic!

Technically, it's Body Dysmorphia (female!reader) drabble/imagine - just a short comfort fic!

All

* Strong Women (female!reader) drabble/imagine - individually, but in one post

Triggered (female!reader) one-shot - deals with body dysmorphia, angsty comfort fic, all the boys being sweet towards reader

Shark Week (afab!reader) one-shot - periods suck, the boys are here to help!

The Boys in Blue - the 501st

Captain Rex

Angel Eyes (female!reader) one-shot, Rex is flirty because it felt like it fit him in this scenario! Reader is Chiss (look up Thrawn if this is new to you!)

Ancient Remedies (female!reader) one-shot, I guess it's a hurt-comfort, but Rex is the injured one and your job is to keep him from leaving medbay, for Kix's sanity of course

ARC Corporal Fives

What is Lost Can Also Be Found (female!reader) one-shot, sorta hurt-comfort but you’re comforting Fives, Fives Lives AU! (NEW)

Five for Fives (female!reader) one-shot, Fives Lives AU! (NEW)

The Knight in Shining Armor - Din Djarin

True Partners (femaleMandalorian!reader) mini-series, this one WILL get spicy - Ch. 1… WIP (NEW!)

Additional characters coming soon!

Credit Where It's Due:

Bad Batch boys dividers by @/djarrex

colorful dividers by @/saradika

(hyperspace headers/footers are my own)

Other

Lore rants: look for the tags “stardust rants” “zenith rants”, “infodump”, and “sw lore”

Science: I'm a space scientist by trade, so I have moments when I need to let my science out a bit. Those moments will be tagged as "secret scientist" and "Stardust rants" because my username is in fact, a pun. I could tell you more, but then it wouldn't be a secret, would it? ;P

no clone-cest here please!

[darsynia]

Ace challenge mode since you asked: Some interactions between Bruce Banner and Tony Stark? Science buddies! Maybe while they’re working on engineering projects together or on their downtime.

I had a lot of fun writing this, it's surprisingly heartfelt, and I hope I've come up with what you were looking for! Science Bros!

Summary: Tony's really excited to have a lab partner of Bruce Banner's intelligence and skill, but he definitely doesn't want to do anything to set him off. It… takes a while to calibrate.

Length | Rating: 3,635 | T (for language)

THIS IS MY VOTE FOR '5 + 1’ IN ROUND 1 OF TROPE MADNESS 2023 which is run by @thestanceyg! (note: also posted on AO3, same title!)

Tags: @deepbatched @djarinsbf, @starryeyes2000 @themaradaniels @ronearoundblindly @tiny-anne

5 Times Tony Almost Pushed Bruce Too Far, and 1 Time He Definitely Did

(1)

Bruce Banner was a morning person. Luckily, Tony knew this in advance, so he’d recorded a whole Welcome Message for JARVIS to play on the first morning Banner had access to the lab floor in the tower.

What Tony hadn’t realized (but should have) was that Banner lacked the patience to listen to Tony’s self-aggrandizing message when there was a bunch of expensive equipment to play with. So when Tony went to find Bruce at the crack of ten AM, his new friend was already arms-deep in one of the machines, figuring out how it worked. Out of sight. Where Tony wouldn’t know not to startle him.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” Tony boomed, seconds after he’d walked through the door.

There was a dull thud and a very un-Bannerian swear word.

Things went downhill from there.

An hour later…

“Mind if I put on some music? How about…” Tony snapped his fingers, and Zeppelin started blaring. That was a surprise, because his Welcome Message had made clear that Bruce ought to pick a few songs for the two of them to share, and if he did not, then Tony would pick them. This was one of Tony’s choices.

No response.

“Okay, maybe this is more your speed?” A finger snap swapped the music instantly to Metallica, Suicide and Redemption, which Tony thought was a really clever touch. 

Across the room, Bruce looked at the ceiling but didn’t comment.

Tony tipped his head to the side. It was possible that someone with the side effect of turning into a green monster when he was angry might not go for heavy metal while working, but that was why he’d had JARVIS set up to ask Bruce to pick his own. Ahh, well. He’d planned for that, too.

This particular lab had one of the best speaker systems money could buy, and Tony had commissioned a buddy of his to record a version of Pachelbel’s Canon to take advantage of that.

He waited to pull the trigger on that till Bruce was doing something less important like scribbling into his notebook.

“Okay I get it. You’re not into that kind of music. I’ve got you covered, my friend,” Tony said, snapping his fingers one last time.

The loudness of the beginning notes made some of the glass beakers shiver against each other, and Bruce actually jumped in surprise, his pencil scratching a long line across the notebook page.

“Tony, what the hell are you trying to--” Bruce took off his watch, tucked away his glasses. “I thought you invited me here because you wanted to collaborate, and I am happy to see that you’re able to work in tandem silence. But I gotta say, it really seems like you want me to--” He stopped, hands at his fists turning distinctly non-flesh colored.

“Shit, Bruce, I’m sorry. I got excited,” Tony said, hating that his instinct was to make sure he had a readily-available suit of armor to don for future lab visits. If there were going to be any. Today’s was clearly over, because Bruce was already heading for the door.

“I didn’t make clear how important this was to me,” Banner said through gritted teeth as he walked past. His ears were actually green.

“So, no music then?” Tony said, in a desperate bid for levity.

“No music.”

The bleak, double-toned resonance behind those two words had Tony feeling like shit for the rest of the day, even though Bruce hadn’t even slammed the door.

(2)

It took some delicate e-mailing and three days for Bruce to come back to the lab, and two more days after that for Tony to join him.

He was prepared, this time. Tony wore a suit. He put those CSI booties over his shoes, wore sunglasses to obscure his expression, and he stuck a hand-sized whiteboard into a holster on his belt, for communication. Everything that Tony Stark could do to mitigate how being himself might set off his new science buddy, he’d do, because this was really important to him, too.

When he walked in on that fifth day and Bruce looked up, the way his confused expression turned into giggles told Tony he’d done something right.

“Okay, see, now that’s funny. Go take all that off and join me? I need three hands, and you’re one of them.”

(3)

Even when Tony was the most happy, there was always something at the very back of his mind that worried about what could go wrong. Here, the thing that could go the most wrong was Bruce feeling like he wasn’t safe to stay and be Tony’s very best science buddy ever. Bruce had made him promise to come up with some contingency plans for containing the Hulk, and they were in progress, but not all fully implemented yet.

That was why at two in the morning after a stretch of eight hours in the lab, Tony went for containment overkill when he heard a slicing noise followed by a sound of pain from Bruce.

“JARVIS, isolate the lab. Be ready to cut power if necessary. Bruce?”

“Tony, please tell me that doesn’t include the internet?” Banner sounded upset, but not upset upset, so that was a good sign.

“Whatever you need, you let me know, okay?”

“I need you to stop it with this hair trigger!” Bruce came around from behind some machines to hold up two pieces of a mechanical belt that had been sheared in half. “I promise you, I have a handle on myself.” He scratched his head, looking like a cross between a kindergarten teacher wearing a scientist’s costume and a student that just got in trouble. “It’s starting to feel like you don’t trust me with your stuff.”

“Shit. I didn’t think of it that way,” Tony winced. “I definitely trust you. You’re the Phthalo Green Giant, I swear.”

Bruce’s eyebrows furrowed, and Tony grinned, pulling out the whiteboard he still wore in its holster for shits and giggles. On it, he wrote: p h t HALO.

“You said you quit drinking alcohol?” Bruce asked.

Confused, Tony nodded.

“Maybe start that back up?” There was a hint of a smile in his voice.

(4)

Working with Bruce was like having a lab partner who didn’t actually hate you, who could keep up, and even better: had better ideas than you did sometimes. It was a dream come true.

All the more reason to learn how not to screw it up.

“So, do you have any guidelines on how I can avoid the Large of the Light Brigade?”

Bruce had been sipping his tea, apparently, and the sucked-in laugh at Tony’s awful pun caused him to cough violently.

“Shit,” Tony said, unsure of whether he should also laugh, or start running. He quickly grabbed a paper towel, small garbage can, and a broom, and approached cautiously with all three of them outstretched. “Pick one?”

“Am I supposed to hit you with the broom?” Banner’s voice was scratchy, but he didn’t sound upset.

“I figured, you know, either barf or get out the aggression before it becomes a problem.”

“Tony, I mean this in the nicest way, but you seem to be the only one out of the two of us with a problem. I’m not going to Hulk out if my tea goes down the wrong way.”

“In my defense, that’s why I was asking the smart-ass question in the first place!”

Bruce sighed and turned back toward his workspace, but the edge of his lab coat knocked down his tea cup, which shattered. Bruce was faced away, and he just dropped his head in silent defeat for a few seconds.

Tony set down the garbage can sideways, anchored it with one foot, and swept the broken pieces into it. The paper towel wasn’t quite enough to get all the tea, but it was close.

“There, all set. As penance, can I get you the mug I saw online the other day? It had the Hulk wrapped in the American flag and the words ‘Star Spangled Banner.’”

“Never change, Tony,” Bruce said in a strangled sort of voice.

“I mean, I will if I need to, that’s why I asked.”

Bruce turned around, a strangely tender expression on his face. “You don’t, but uh…” He scrubbed a hand through his hair, looking as though he were at a loss for words. “I’ll see what I can come up with.”

(4)

Bruce had clearly gotten a satirist from The Onion to write his list. It had stuff like ‘don’t fire a gun at me’ and ‘don’t wake me up with a bucket of cold water and an air horn.’ All things that would make Tony Hulk out if he had the capability.

They were working on a piece of Chitauri tech that he’d talked the government into letting him examine. When Tony walked into the lab, Bruce looked like he’d already been working for hours.

“I see you got the list,” he said with a shy smile, his face lit up by the purple glow of the device in his hand.

“Yeah, either that, or I got a kindergartener’s list of pranks! I thought you said you were always angry.”

Bruce was about to answer when Tony got an idea, holding up a finger and crossing the room to grab one of his early armored gauntlet prototypes. It still had actual wiring to connect to the power source, instead of the surface to surface transfer technology he’d come up with since then.

“You’re planning to… what? Jam those leads into this thing?” Bruce held up the glowing pod.

“Sure, why not?”

“I just gave you a list of why not!”

“So I’ll put on the suit, and you can go hide in my office instead of being a Guinea Big!”

Bruce took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. “How long have you been holding onto that one?”

“You don’t want to know,” Tony grinned.

(5)

The best way to fight back against the ridiculousness of Bruce’s List, in Tony’s opinion, was to print out an extra copy of it and pin the damned thing on the wall. As with any sort of sticky note or wall sign, though, it didn’t take long for the List to fade into the scenery for Tony, where he didn’t really notice it anymore. That was until he saw it was different, one morning.

There were three new lines.

Do not set your coffee cup down on my notes

Turn off all power to equipment you are not using, so you do not electrocute anyone

RELAX. You’re my friend

Tony almost got emotional.

Bruce could have gotten upset, could have told him about the first two, but he didn’t, probably because of the third. That was on Tony.

He resolved to do better.

(oops)

“Tony.”

Immediately, Tony knew there was a problem. There was a depth to Bruce’s tone that wasn’t usually there, a recognizable depth.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s too dangerous. I’ll just--”

“Damnit, it’s too late!”

Bruce was right; the current was overloading, and since Tony had just been trying something out, something that wasn’t meant to conduct that well, he’d skipped past some of the safety shit. Except instead of risking his eyesight by looking away without his safety goggles, he’d risked his whole life by without having a safe, grounded place to stand.

“JARVIS, kill the power!” As he spoke, Tony pulled the Fe-Hulk bracelets out of his pocket and clasped one to Bruce’s wrist, grabbing at the other with the desperation of someone who knew his plan would work. He’d built Bruce’s version of the protective suit in secret, because Bruce Banner was the kind of friend who would make you promise not to do something like that if he found out about it.

If he was protected by something other than his angry alter-ego, Bruce Banner shouldn’t feel unsafe enough to need to.

“Get down-- no, what are you--”

The rest of Bruce’s words were unintelligible, as large arcs of current started bowing out from the device. Tony was thrown sideways before he could get the other bracelet on. The last thing he saw before he passed out was an angry green blur.

Tony woke up in a hospital bed, which was just insulting. He was rich enough for someone to have called in all the medical people on site, wasn’t he? Was there footage of him being gurneyed somewhere while unconscious? How the hell had Pepper allowed this to--

“Tony?” It was Bruce, standing at the window.

“How bad is it?” Tony whispered.

“You have a concussion and a broken arm. Looks like about twenty thousand dollars of damage to the lab, but you’re alive, so--”

“No, the-- really?” Tony scowled and it hurt, which was new. “I mean, how much groveling do I need to do to keep you around! Do you have a suitcase hiding in the bathroom? Smart of you to run off while I’m damaged and incapable of following you, but you should remember I can fly.”

“You’re-- That’s what you’re worried about? Not the fact that I hurt you?”

“I don’t remember anything like that.” Bruce walked over, his brows furrowed, but Tony kept going. “In fact, I remember my best friend doing something he absolutely hates so he could crouch over me like a protective green lightning rod. Oh, wow, I really do have a concussion. That was terrible. I can do better, hold on.”

“Tony--”

“Hulk Norris!” He grinned up at Bruce, who was doing his level best to look cross, and completely failing. “That’s a thank you, by the way.”

“I gathered,” Bruce said. He looked down at the bed, hand fiddling with the adjustable side like he wasn’t sure he could stand to make eye contact. “Best friend?”

“You bet your big green ass,” Tony said, immediately frowning. “Shit, I’m off my game.”

“Keep that up and I’ll put nicknames on the List.”

Tony gasped, clutching his chest in actual horror. “You wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, I suppose that wouldn’t be Ferrous.”

“I thought you had healing factor! That pun is clearly the result of brain damage,” Tony declared, unable to look at Bruce for fear of giving away how pleased he was that his lab screw-up hadn’t driven him away. He raised his voice, calling toward the closed room door. “Nurse! Nurse, this man needs a check-up right now.”

It was a few days before Tony was cleared for lab work, and even then, it was more lab clean-up than anything else. In truth, the Hulk hadn’t actually created too much chaos. It was all in the center of the room, meaning that the equipment itself was damaged, but none of the structural elements. Tony used the suit to help him lift and deconstruct what was left, but once he’d gotten most of it, he walked over to the far wall, where the List usually was.

There, added right to the bottom of the ‘Things That Make Bruce Hulk Out’ was a new entry:

Not valuing your life as much as I do.

[deadmomjokes]

Hope you're doing well with all the hectic life stuff you mentioned! How is everyone doing, and how was the conference?

Thank you so much for checking in! It means a whole lot to me (especially because we ended up getting forgotten by quite a few folks irl who had said they'd come by to help with stuff 🙃)

It's going better now that the conference is over. Not to say that the conference was bad. It was actually really great. I got excellent guidance on writing an official query letter, I did very well on my presentation and panels, I had fun, I learned stuff, and- biggest news of all- I did 3 pitch sessions for a manuscript and all three were enthusiastic about it and asked for partials!

The not so great news that comes from that is that I'm kind of in the middle of rewriting the thing, so now I'm racing the clock, hoping that I can finish the rewrite before someone comes back requesting the full. And lemme tell ya, it needed the rewrite. So it's not like I can hand them the old version if I want any chance of actually landing a contract. So stress is still ongoing, but it's good stress in a way, I guess?

But! My husband feels great and is basically just waiting for doctor's permission to resume normal activities. He was up and walking the day after surgery, and the pain it was meant to remedy is totally gone. So it was a massive success! He's still barred from lifting, bending, and twisting at least through the end of March, as far as we know; he goes back on Monday for the doc to do a follow up, and we'll get more info about it then.

Our daughter has decided to spontaneously potty train herself after watching a younger friend who is just learning to use the potty, which is a total shocker to us. Welcome, but absolutely out of left field. One of the things she's been in therapy for is her panic and terror about the potty, and she just... decided. It's so weird. Great weird, but weird. (I'll take it tho.)

But, unfortunately, the saga of trying to figure out her stomach issues hasn't been going great. We had her appointment and they wanted an endoscopy, right? Told us that the scheduling department would be in touch within 2 weeks. After two weeks had gone by, I called them, played switchboard transfer tag, and eventually found out that the doctor had never put the order in. The people we were talking to who found that out for us helped get it put on the doctor's priority list so it would officially go to scheduling, and then said they'd try to get us bumped up the waitlist since we should have been scheduled already based on initial appointment date. Only nope, turns out they couldn't do that because of how the system works, gotta wait another two weeks. Meanwhile, mind you, she's not allowed to take the medicine that actually helps control the symptoms, so she's a hungry, tired, cranky, pained mess. So two weeks later, I call them back because- big surprise- no word yet. They said they see the order, but scheduling just hasn't gotten around to it yet. They flag it for immediate attention. Two days later, I get the call to schedule it, and due to the fact that she had a cold recently, they wouldn't get her in any sooner than a full month after the last symptoms. Now you know a cough can linger for ages after you stop being contagious, particularly in a high-pollution, cold, low-humidity environment, which is where we live. But policy is policy.

So all that comes out to the fact that unless she gets sick again, her endoscopy is the week of St. Patrick's Day, and after that she can go back on the meds that helped best while they compile the results. At that point, assuming it confirms what we all think it is, we get referred to the nutritionist and start the arduous task of elimination-diet-ing a child who exclusively lives on bagels and cream cheese. She's not gonna be happy. Nobody's gonna be happy. But it'll be what it is, and it'll help her in the long run.

All in all, life is still crazy, and I'm totally losing my mind some days, but it's not quite as crazy and mind-lose-y as it was. Which is progress!

[substituted-shinigami]

We… We have a lotta fun here xD

Channel Update!!!

Hello Everyone!!! Despite the, uh…rather silly presentation, I really have been working super hard on some fanworks in the background, and now I’m proud to finally present to you the “We Can’t All Be Winners” Fall Season Schedule! Plus I've got some previews for you to boot!!!

Let’s take a look!

"We Can’t All Be Winners" Fall Season Schedule plus FAQ and Previews!!!

(this post is already kinda long, (and is about to get a lot longer) so I put the rest underneath a tag xD)

October

Oct. 7th - Tiger Robe (fanfiction, renruki & Ichigo, hurt/comfort)

Oct. 14th - Three Times I Dreamed of You (fanfiction, renruki, some angsty longing but also fluff)

Oct. 21st - Who is Ichigo? (Karakura Gang Comic!)

Oct. 28th - Night Scare, Morning Care (fanfiction, renruki, hurt/comfort)

November

Nov. 4th - Double Feature! Bleach Book Club - Letters From The Other Side (light novel overview) + Roommates Assemble (Rukia & Ichigo + Karakura Gang drabble + fanart)

Nov. 11th - Bubble Tea (fanfiction, renruki + Yoruichi, slice of life, fluff)

Nov. 18th - Peaceful Day, Peaceful Night (fanfiction, renruki, fluff)

Nov. 25th - Commercial Break - Pocket Renji (Comic/fake ad)

December

Dec. 2nd - Bloodlines - Learning to Breathe (L2B) Prologue & Ch. 1 (multi-chapter fic, renruki, hurt/comfort, some angst, some humor)

Dec. 9th - L2B Ch. 2

Dec. 16th - L2B Ch. 3

Dec. 23 - L2B Ch. 4

Dec. 30 - L2B Ch. 5 & Epilogue

And that’s it! Yeah, Ichigo wasn’t kidding, it really is mostly just RenRuki fanfiction, haha!😅 Now I'm sure you all have some questions like: Wait…What is this?! Why is this?! How is this?! When is this?! And Where is this?! And I'll do my best to answer them in the FAQ below!

FAQ

Wait…What is this?!?

“We Can’t All Be Winners” or “WCABW” started out as an anthology series of RenRuki one-shots I started back in January. It contains a handful of stories featuring Renji, Rukia and occasionally others, and puts them in different scenarios, some of them canon-compliant and some of them in alternate universes. Originally, I planned to write and post one story a month, but I quickly fell behind. So I took a break and reassessed and decided to try posting in “seasons” instead. So now it’s a season of weekly uploaded fanworks to be posted from October to December, and will feature a variety of Bleach related content such as fanfiction, fanart, fan comics, bleach light novel overview, and, when I’m able to write one, a multi-chapter fic. All the fanfiction will be available on both Tumblr and AO3, but the rest will only be available on Tumblr (sorry!). Once this season is completed, I will mark the AO3 work as “completed”, and if I can do this again next year, I will start a new one!

Why is this?

Like most people, I originally planned to create and post fanworks whenever I finished them. However, I eventually found keeping up with a social media account stressful. Something about it makes you feel like you need to post all the time, even when no one else is pushing you. So I thought, hey, why not have a season! That way I have a predetermined end goal AND I don't feel like I gotta post outside of it! Plus if I feel like I need to just step away for a break (which I will most likely be doing once the queue starts running), it won't affect it since everything is already queued! So yeah, that's the idea behind it.

How do you plan to post this on AO3? It doesn’t have a queue system!

Yeah, that is a problem. My current plan is to have a tab open for each story/chapter I need to post, and then will just press the button to post it on the day it’s due to come out (or within 24 hrs). This will probably mean that the Tumblr post will link back to the table of contents of WCABW on AO3 rather than the chapter itself, so I would like to apologize for that in advance. I’ll try to fix it whenever I am able, or at the latest, when I become socially active on Tumblr again.

When is this?

Every Saturday from October 7 to December 30th at 11 am EST here on Tumblr, and within 24 hrs (either before or after) on AO3 (I'll try to make it before, but life happens sometimes). Now obviously this is no real substitute for the Bleach anime, not even close! But Saturdays were already a convenient day to post, so I thought, "Hey, why not?!" And just pushed the joke all the way!!!

Where is this?

Right here on Tumblr and on AO3 (links provided). On AO3, the one-shots will be posted under the We Can’t All Be Winners anthology series of one-shots that's already on there (if you haven't seen it yet, why not check it out? It already has some of my other one-shots on there!) The multi-chapter fic will have its own posting.

I have some questions/comments/concerns!

No problem! My ask box is always open! Now to be honest, I will be on break starting in early October, but I'll answer any I don’t see before then when I am able/get back! Also, if you are a part of the RenRuki discord, I may be checking in there from time to time even while on break.

And that’s it! Thank you all so much for reading this needlessly long and very silly announcement for Bleach fanworks of all things! To thank you for making it to the end, I added some previews for some of the upcoming works!! I hope you all enjoy!!! xD

PREVIEWS!!!

(Note: works are subject to minor changes)

Three Times I Dreamed of You

Chapter Summary:  Nightmares are always terrible. But they are made even worse when you aren’t even able to talk to the person that they are about. (RenRuki, some angsty longing but also fluff)

"Rukia!"

Renji awoke with a start, sweat dripping down his brow. He whipped his head around wildly, as he mopped off his forehead with his sleeve. He was alone, utterly alone. Quickly he reached out with his spiritual pressure to feel hers, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. Finally, he found her, a tiny cold gust on a frigid winter night. It felt so impossibly far away, but… it was enough. Renji left the Eleventh Division barrack's dorm and climbed on top of the roof to feel it better.

******************************************

Tiger Robe

Chapter Summary: While shopping with Ichigo in the World of the Living, Rukia finds a tiger print robe that reminds her of someone from her past. (renruki & Ichigo, hurt/comfort, Starts out in the Soul Society Arc, but then jumps around a couple of times)

“Okay, we're here,” Kurosaki Ichigo began as they entered the clothing store, “The women’s section is in the back.  If you need clothes, I don’t mind buying you a set or two, so can you just please stop stealing Yuzu’s?!? She’s starting to get suspicious…” But Rukia wasn't listening to him. Instead, she was looking around the store, completely enthralled.

“Woah! This is incredible!” Rukia replied with wonder, as her wide eyes flitted from one brightly colored clothing display to the next, “And you can afford such garments on your allowance alone?” Ichigo raised an eyebrow at her in response.

“Yeah…? It’s just a cheap department store, Rukia.”

“Incredible…” she muttered to herself again as she continued to look around the huge, lively store with a mixture of awe and nervousness. Several people passed them by, chatting as they filed in or out of the entrance, and loud music played on the speakers overhead. 

This is nothing like the open markets that sold only rags in Inuzuri, she thought, And once I got adopted by the Kuchiki Clan, the tailors came to me. I don’t think I’ve been to anything even resembling a regular clothing store since the Academy. There is too much choice! What should I…?

Rukia could feel Ichigo’s concerned eyes on the back of her neck. Quickly, she stood up straighter, and turned towards him.

“You said, I could get whatever I wanted, right?!” she asked with a devilish grin. Ichigo sighed heavily as if he was immediately regretting both this decision and his entire existence. He scratched the back of his head.

“Within reason! I’m not rich, you know," he scowled, "You can get one everyday outfit and one sleepwear, that’s it!” With that, he set off across the store.

“Ah! You're so stingy, Ichigo!” Rukia teased as she followed after him.

“Keep talking smack, and I’ll make you shop in the children’s section!”

“I might anyway,” Rukia mused, as they passed by a pair of child’s pajamas with bunnies on them, “children’s clothes have nicer prints.”

“Whatever,” Ichigo replied, “Wear what you want when you sleep, but when you are out and about, try to wear typical 'teen clothes'. Otherwise people might get the wrong idea when we are walking together.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rukia dismissed with a wave of her hand. As they continued walking along on their way to the back of the store, passing from the children's section into the men's, Rukia’s eyes were caught by a brightly colored robe. Turning towards it, she felt taken aback when she beheld the largest, tackiest tiger print bathrobe she had ever seen. Suddenly, she felt like she was thrown back over forty years…

******************************************

Bubble Tea

Chapter Summary: Relaxing is difficult when you are so used to fighting. Now that the Winter War is over, Rukia and Renji shoot the breeze and talk about the future. (renruki + Yoruichi, slice of life, fluff, During the Fullbringer Arc timeskip)

“Hmmm… Getting to know you without the fangs of death constantly nipping at our heels feels…weird,” Rukia commented suddenly, and a little too casually, one day as she sipped her bubble tea. Renji coughed in surprise. That or he got another tapioca pearl stuck in his throat, Rukia wasn't too sure.

“H-Huh?!" he spluttered, after he had finally begun to recover. 

"Well, think about it," Rukia continued, as she settled her cup down beside her upon the park bench. She began to list things off on her fingers, “First it was surviving in Rukongai, then Aizen's betrayal, and then the Winter War. Whenever we were together it felt like our lives were in constant mortal danger. That it was us against the world. But now…now there’s no real threat.”

"Oh yeah…" Renji agreed, looking up to the sky in thought, "I guess, you're right…huh." 

“Yeah," Rukia went on as she picked up her cup again, "The only other time it was seemingly this peaceful was when we were separated."

At that, Renji was silent for a moment, before asking quietly, "Kind of makes you wonder whether or not we're cursed, huh?" Rukia turned to look up at him, but Renji continued to stare up at the sky. 

"If we are cursed," she began slowly, "then whoever made it, absolutely sucks at making curses,"  Renji quirked an eyebrow at her as she turned back towards her tea, "Curses are meant to make you the most miserable, but despite the dangers, I'm always more miserable when we're apart." Renji stared at her wide-eyed as she went back to sipping her tea. 

******************************************

Learning to Breathe

Story Summary: Turns out purple eyes and short stature aren’t the only things that run in Hisana’s family, illness does as well. As Rukia and Renji try to help each other navigate through this new storm in their lives, will they remember to take time to breathe? (multi-chapter fic, renruki, hurt/comfort, some angst, some humor, Post TYBW, Rukia gets the same disease that killed Hisana. (Bloodlines AU))

Here’s a scene from chapter 1:

I faced an execution. I faced an espada's blade. I even faced a man who could literally murder me with fear. And yet, tiny medical needles are too much for me? You are utterly ridiculous, Kuchiki Rukia…  Rukia thought glumly to herself, as she laid in bed one chilly morning before yet another doctor’s appointment. She began chuckling wryly, I've heard the pen is mightier than the sword, but I think the medical needle might be mightier still. 

Rukia stared up at her bedroom ceiling, the sound of the room's clock ticking loudly in her ears. She'd been laying there for hours as sleep frustratingly eluded her. Sighing, she tried rolling over and closing her eyes again, but she couldn't shut out the anxious thoughts that plagued her mind.

I really hope today’s tests don’t have them. If I can’t get through these appointments without stressing out everytime I see one, then I’ll never convince him that he can rest, because I’ll be okay. That it will all be okay in the end. Hopefully…

Suddenly, Rukia’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the alarm on her soul pager going off. Again. Rukia’s hand shot out, flipped the infernal device open, and managed to press the snooze button for the third time that morning without even looking at it. She went back to staring up at the ceiling.  

Guess I better get up now, huh? Can't keep putting it off, after all… My friends, my brother, and…Renji… they’re all so worried about me, so I can’t… I can’t be weak… I must be strong for them.

Rukia sighed, her stomach already all up in knots. Taking a deep breath to center herself, she forced herself to sit up. As she looked out her bedroom window towards the sky, she saw that it was pitch-black, that even the stars were blocked out by clouds. 

Hmmm… Looks like a storm is rolling in too… Figures…

Rukia slowly pushed off her blankets and got up to search for her clothes. She thought about just wearing her black shinigami uniform, but she already knew neither her third seat nor her escort were going to let her go back to work this afternoon. Speaking of her escort…

Rukia left her room, a neatly folded dark blue kimono tucked underneath her arm, and approached the door of the guest room next to hers. She lifted her hand to knock, but paused.

I could just leave without waking him… she thought briefly, Let him sleep in. Gods know he needs it. That way, when I make it through the appointment on my own, he’ll see he has nothing to worry about! But she quickly shook herself. No! No, I don’t do that anymore! I don’t just run away... I talk about it. We talk about it. And even if we can’t figure it out, we still do even that together. Rukia took a deep breath, glared resolutely at the door, and knocked.

“Oi, Renji, you awake in there?” She heard what sounded like a groan to the affirmative. “Okay, just so you know, we’ve got to leave in an hour.”

“Mhmm… Yup. I got you,” he responded groggily. This was soon followed by the sound of very fast shuffling, a very loud bang, an almost as loud curse, and then more shuffling. Rukia raised an amused eyebrow at that.

“You good in there? All your limbs still present and accounted for?”

“Ha ha. Very funny. And yes, I’m fine. Thanks so much for your concern.”

“Of course!” Rukia smirked. However, the heavy feeling inside her soon dragged the corners of her lips back down. She took another deep breath. Here we go… "Oi, Renji…" she began quietly, "If you are too tired, it's okay, y'know? It's like I said before, it’s basically just a long doctor's appointment. I'll…I’ll be okay going by myself." 

At that, Rukia heard the stomping sound of footsteps coming rapidly towards her, followed by the shoji door immediately sliding open with a sharp bang. Renji looked rather frazzled, with his sleeping robe half hanging off of his shoulder and his hair loosely pulled into a messy braid. He also looked rather cute…at least until he started shouting.

“WHAT? NO! OF COURSE I'M COMING WITH YOU, IDIOT!”

“QUIET, RENJI! ARE YOU TRYING TO WAKE UP THE ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD WITH YOUR RACKET?!?”

"You are way louder than me!" Renji replied in his terrible attempt at a whisper, "In any case, don't try to change the subject like that. You are downplaying it again, I know it. They are running medical tests today too, and I know those tend to make you nervous.” He managed to actually say that last part quietly. Then he smiled at her, “We're in this together, ya?" His lips might have been smiling, but Rukia saw his eyes. He was exhausted. She felt her heart lurch into her throat.

"Ya, well…don't go overdoing it, okay?" Rukia told him firmly as she fixed his robe for him, but her fingers lingered on his shoulder. Renji placed his hand over hers.

"Hmph… As if I could ever do too much for you… I'm fine, Rukia, really. Go get changed."

"Okay…" she murmured quietly, looking down. However, her face must have betrayed her troubled thoughts, because when she tried to remove her hand from his shoulder, Renji held it firm. She looked back up at him and he tilted his head down closer to hers.

"I love you~" he whispered to her in a cheeky sing-song voice with that toothy grin of his. He was clearly trying to lighten the mood, to make her smile or push him off and call him a dork, but instead Rukia felt her heart, already firmly lodged in her throat, leap even higher into her mouth.

“I know…” she barely got out, “I know Renji, but…”

“Uh uh. No ‘buts’, Ru. Go ahead and take your bath. I’ll see you in an hour, alright?” He winked and let go of her hand as he cheerfully went back into the guest room, closing the door behind him. 

Rukia, on the other hand, just stood there, staring at the floor.

************************************************************************

And that's it for the previews! If you somehow made it all the way to the end, thanks so much for reading! The "We Can't All Be Winners" Fall Season starts next week! Hope to see you there!