#got stuck on the ending so just uhhh yuP

[jennamacaroni]

“Oh my god you never told me you could cook cut hair”

A lil somethin' from aloto, perhaps?

Carson Shaw has never met anyone like Greta Gill.

She’s never known an unmarried woman who’s been to New York and Paris and Houston and everywhere in between.  Someone who is so confident and sure of herself and her place in the world.  Like everything was just there to be charmed and then taken.

She’s never met a woman so free.

Greta doesn’t have to make a shitty pie for the next church wives meet-up.  She doesn’t have to have dinner on the table by seven each night, or brainstorm excuses while doing housework to continue putting off having children.  She doesn’t need her husband’s permission to make a withdrawal of her own savings from the bank.  Hell, she and Jo landed in Chicago for tryouts with no money and no plan other than to play baseball.  They didn’t have anyone back home to tell them no.  They didn’t have strings.

To Carson, Greta and Jo seemed larger than life.  Certainly larger than what Carson even imagined life could be for a woman their age.

Shit, she’s never even left the midwest.  This is the first time she’s even been in a city bigger than Boise.

Aside from baseball, she and Greta Gill are worlds apart.

But there’s something addictive about how it feels when a person like that gives you attention.  And when Greta offers to cut Carson’s hair, well, the yes comes out before Carson can overthink it.

She learns quickly the impossibility of saying no to Greta Gill.  Not even when she hacks off three inches of a thick lock of hair, right in the front.

Really, it should bother her that Greta opens the leather-bound notebook without her permission.  That she latches onto the sloppy cursive Carson had written and poked at the bruise that is her marriage.

Dear Charlie,

There’s something wrong with me and you deserve better.

It’s not that she thought Charlie would say no to her trying out, exactly.  They’d played together back when they were kids, before Carson hit puberty and she could still pass as a boy and play on the local team, long hair always tucked carefully up into her cap.  Before he was sent overseas Charlie would still have a catch with her on those endless muggy summer nights when the sun didn’t set until late.  It would be just the two of them out in the backyard, the only sound louder than the crickets hidden among the grass was the smack of the ball hitting leather.

She was lucky, really.  He was a kind and caring man who loved her.

But Carson had gotten used to the freedom that came with her husband away.  It left room for her to breathe, a pause in what was a constant undercurrent of anxiety stemming from Charlie wanting to start their family.

Carson thought they already were a family.

But that’s what people like them do.  They fall in love, get married, and have children.  Raise them in the house with the picket fence and the warm slices of apple pie.

That was supposed to be Carson’s dream.  But the truth is, it never was.  And she never could tell Charlie that truth.

So when the letter came and he was finally coming home, Carson saw her future going two ways:  live out an impossible dream of being a professional baseball player, free from her responsibilities and playing the game she’s loved her whole life, or stay and welcome home her husband from war, and always wonder what could have been if she’d gone.

So here she was, in a woman’s boarding house in a strange city, with Greta Gill’s long fingers raking through her hair and cutting it away.  She wishes Greta would take those scissors and cut Carson free from her own life, but for now, she’ll settle for the shivers running down her spine at Greta’s touch, and the feel of a weight being lifted as the dead ends feather down to the floor.

Maybe Greta was right, and she was running towards her destiny.  And it started that very morning, chasing after that train.

The door is thrown open just as Greta is holding up the handheld mirror and Carson is catching the first glimpse of herself.  Maybelle has Jo by the forearm and is dragging her to the nearest bed as Jo upends the flask, chasing every last drop of whiskey.

“This one is three sheets to the wind,” Maybelle explains, shoving Jo enough that she falls to a seat on the mattress.  “What have you ladies–”

Carson runs a hand through her much shorter hair, grasping where the strands suddenly end and feeling for what’s now littering the floor at their feet.

“How does she look?” Greta asks, nodding to Carson and holding up the scissors, snipping them open and shut.

“Oh my god,” Maybelle shrieks, running across the room to pet Carson’s head.  “You never told me you could cut hair!”

[claristhegirl]

Finished Blazing Blade (FE7) Hector Hard Mode tonight!

Earlier this year, I decided on the long term goal of attempting to finish every mainline Fire Emblem game on the hardest difficulty. There's 8 of them I haven't even played yet (FE1-6 and the two DS games), and most of the games I have I've only finished on easier difficulties, so... there's a lot to do. When they released Blazing Blade on Nintendo Switch Online over the summer, that felt like a good place to start making serious effort towards this goal.

One unfortunate catch, though: I was starting from a new save file. And Hector Hard is unlocked by completing Hector Normal. And Hector is unlocked by completing Eliwood. And I decided I wanted to do Eliwood Hard as well. So in the end I did 4 different playthroughs of the game over the past several months. Suffice to say I've had enough of Blazing Blade for a very long time if not forever, lol. I am NOT going to miss the overly limited deployment slots.

Character and chapter info:

Farina (431 Battles / 271 Wins / 1 Loss)

Girl!

I planned on her being my main late-game carry since before the playthrough even began, and she performed far better than I even expected. She did get a good number of statboosters (Afa's Drops, Angelic Robe, 2 Goddess Icons, Talisman, Boots, Body Ring), but her four capped stats were (aside from Afa's Drops) all capped naturally. She had 18 Defense after promotion! She soloed a ton of late game without any trouble at all.

Florina (309 Battles / 184 Wins / 4 Losses)

Also Girl!

With the help of Lyn Mode statboosters she was my main carry until Farina came along, at which point she was still very useful but was outclassed by What The Hell Farina How Do You Have So Much Defense. Her absurd luck was incredibly helpful against all the Luna enemies.

Oswin (281 Battles / 138 Wins / 1 Loss)

Very lucky Oswin here, with almost every stat being above average. Turns out having an utterly absurd Defense stat is pretty good.

Hector (268 Battles / 116 Wins / 2 Losses)

...Very mediocre. 8 Skill before promotion... that he can't do until there's like 5 chapters left... ow ow ow. This game sure does have some baffling design choices.

Bartre (255 Battles / 149 Wins / 0 Losses)

Was required to use him for full recruitment, but then uhhh what the hell Bartre? What are these stats how are you 4 above average in both Skill and Speed oh my god.

Raven (221 Battles / 134 Wins / 2 Losses)

His level ups were largely not great, but he did get a LOT of Luck levels early on to shore up his main weakness and was otherwise carried by his absurd Hard Mode bases.

Fiora (203 Battles / 133 Wins / 1 Loss)

The least useful of the Pegasus Sisters this playthrough due to her lower strength, but still had a very nice niche with her Res. She got to be my main carry in Eliwood Hard at least!

Eliwood (156 Battles / 82 Wins / 0 Losses)

Pretty good Strength and Speed, though ultimately didn't get used too much.

Marcus (89 Battles / 52 Wins / 0 Losses)

Performed his Jagen role admirably.

Guy (78 Battles / 44 Wins / 0 Losses)

Being my first Hard Mode Bonuses character, I tried to use him, but then he failed to get a single point of Strength in 10 levels and was too weak to keep up.

Lyn (63 Battles / 34 Wins / 0 Losses)

Promoted at Level 17. I tried to use her early (especially thanks to aiming for Linus's Four-Fanged Offense) but her strength and defenses were just too awful to be worth using after that point.

Legault (26 Battles / 11 Wins / 2 Losses)

Yup he sure did steal things while having additional limited combat utility.

Serra (18 Battles / 5 Wins / 0 Losses)

My main staff user until Pent arrived, though she still stuck around whenever deployment slots actually allowed for it.

Pent (12 Battles / 6 Wins / 0 Losses)

Didn't get used much for combat, but he became my main staff user late-game.

Athos (6 Battles / 3 Wins / 0 Losses)

Yup he sure did a good job of "guaranteed final boss kill with Luna and some speed statboosters".

Ninian/Nils (3 Battles / 0 Wins / 0 Losses, combined)

I told myself this would be the playthrough I would actually use the rings more and then I still had barely used them by the time the game was over, oops. Oh well.

Turn counts and chapter info:

Pro. A Girl from the Plains (6 Turns) Ch1 Footsteps of Fate (6 Turns) Ch2 Sword of Spirits (7 Turns) Ch3 Band of Mercenaries (6 Turns) Ch4 In Occupation's Shadow (8 Turns) Ch5 Beyond the Borders (7 Turns) Ch6 Blood of Pride (7 Turns) Ch7 Siblings Abroad (10 Turns) Ch7x The Black Shadow (8 Turns) Ch8 Vortex of Strategy (9 Turns) Ch9 A Grim Reunion (11 Turns)

Ch10 The Distant Plains (23 Turns) Lyn Mode's Prologue through Chapter 9 were shared with my Eliwood Hard playthrough. Since you can't save between completing this chapter and choosing the character mode afterward, I had to redo this chapter. Had to wait at the end for Nils to reach Level 7 (why is that a thing...).

Ch11 Another Journey (18 Turns) Took a surprisingly annoying number of attempts, though I was probably being too reckless. Welcome to Hector Hard I guess.

Ch12 Birds of a Feather (7 Turns) Ch13 In Search of Truth (14 Turns) Ch13x The Peddler Merlinus (8 Turns) Ch14 False Friends (10 Turns) Ch15 Talons Alight (8 Turns) Ch16 Noble Lady of Caelin (15 Turns)

Ch17 Whereabouts Unknown (21 Turns) Had one of the soldiers die here because I wasn't expecting them to immediately rush to their death and get ORKO'd by the enemy right outside of the cell noooooooo

Ch17x The Port of Badon (17 Turns)

Ch18 Pirate Ship (12 Turns) Every other playthrough I ended the chapter early by defeating the boss, so it was interesting to actually play it out this time. Did still barely manage to steal the boss's item on the final turn, having to plan it out exactly several turns in advance.

Ch19 The Dread Isle (13 Turns)

Ch19x Imprisoner of Magic (44 Turns) Managed to defeat Kishuna first try, which I was really grateful for given how much time I spent grinding on his morphs beforehand lol.

Ch19x pt2 A Glimpse in Time (19 Turns) Ch20 Dragon's Gate (20 Turns) Ch21 New Resolve (15 Turns)

Ch22 Kinship's Bond (7 Turns) Lost an attempt annoyingly far in because of confusion with enemy ranges, and how it doesn't show that an enemy can attack from a space if another enemy is already standing there (even though said enemy can move or die...). Bleh.

Ch23 Living Legend (33 Turns) Was super worried about the HHM exclusive fog, but then I ended up having a significantly easier time than I did in EHM due to the altered boss locations and them not moving.

Ch23x Genesis (31 Turns) This had a terrifying first impression, but it became significantly easier once I remembered that the Barrier Staff exists.

Ch24 Four-Fanged Offense [Linus] (36 Turns)

Ch25 Crazed Beast (120 Turns) This is the start of massive turn count bloat due to going for supports (mainly Hector/Farina A, and later Eliwood/Lyn A just because). The GBA support system is such terrible nonsense. But anyway, first chapter with Farina, and I took advantage of all the monks that could do nothing to her to grind her to Level 2 promoted. She ended the chapter with 18 defense!!

Ch26 Unfulfilled Heart (12 Turns) Decided to go for the Armory on the final turn, which 18 Defense Farina + Nini's Grace was able to do while surviving Vaida easily.

Ch27 Pale Flower of Darkness [Jerme] (98 Turns). Aimed for Jerme's because I did Kenneth in my EHM playthrough, and Hard Mode bonuses favor the Jerme units regardless. Got Harken because I wanted to try him out with Hard Mode bonuses… and then never used him, but I did at least use his Brave Sword. Another bloated turn count due to supports.

Ch28 Battle Before Dawn (16 Turns) Farina rushed for Ursula and nearly soloed everything in the way, making this chapter easy once reinforcements were stopped.

Ch28x Night of Farewells (98 Turns) Another chapter with Farina rushing for the boss to stop reinforcements, killing Sonia on Turn 3. And then the rest was spent slowly cleaning things up while being terrified of the status staff enemies, and then spending forever to finally reach Hector/Farina A.

Ch29 Cog of Destiny (40 Turns) Florina got unexpectedly hit by a Berserk staff early on, which was terrifying but then none of the enemies around her managed to actually do anything to her.

Ch30 The Berserker (20 Turns) I gave it a decent amount of tries with Hector + Legault to try to steal the statboosters, but had way too much trouble and my strat required a lot of luck so I decided to not bother and cleared it super easily with Hector + Farina.

Ch31 Sands of Time (12 Turns) Warped to and killed the boss Turn 1, making the rest of the chapter mostly fairly simple (...mainly thanks to getting lucky dodges against the status staff enemies).

Ch31x Battle Preparations (6 Turns)

Ch32 Victory or Death (18 Turns) This chapter felt incredibly overwhelming. Farina could take on basically everyone by herself, but there being so many enemies meant she had to return to the main group to restock her weapons, and I also wanted to get every village. I thought the attempt was lost midway through, but I guess there's a 50 enemy limit, so a lot of the reinforcements I was worried about and expecting didn't show up.

Ch32x The Value of Life (33 Turns) Spent most of this chapter feeding kills to Hector because I felt like it, which is how he ended the game at Level 18.

Final Light (20 Turns) Finished off Nergal with an unnecessary Farina Triangle Attack, then killed the Dragon with the guaranteed Athos + Luna.

Total: 949 Turns

[immortalcoelacanth]

HLVRAI Oneshot: Chalk

My muse continues to be a stuggle, Snowcon followers I am sorry XD

Word count: 2687

Summary: Kids were easy to be around. Their minds were simple, focused on entertaining themselves and being happy. It was something Benrey could relate to. But sometimes they could be so damn observant… 

“You love dad, don’t you?”

“uhhh, sounds kinda cringe bro.”

The warm, summer winds blew through the surprisingly quiet neighborhood. Faint sounds of children laughing could be heard, most likely in the park not too far away, and the scent of smoke wafted off the barbeque Gordon was currently cooking food on. 

All and all, a pleasantly calm day. It was one that he could enjoy with his son-

“hey, hey, you wanna play some tic tac toe?”

And Benrey. 

The duo were both seated on the pavement not too far away, drawing on the ground with pieces of chalk that were all sorts of colours. Benrey was wearing a rather large hoodie with some game logos and stickers plastered across it, and his security helmet of course. From his position, Gordon could see that Joshua had drawn several stars, a rainbow, and several other miscellaneous drawings. Benrey had, after being scolded several times to not eat the chalk, drawn what appeared to be colourful smears across the ground, mixing and blending them together. 

It sort of reminded Gordon of Benrey’s sweet voice, the blues that were present and the general colour gradient. He was glad to see everything was calm, nothing bad had happened, but still felt the urge to check. 

“You two still holding up good?” 

“Yeah dad!”

“we’re just doodlin’ passports over here, bro. josh dude gave himself a neat stache.” 

“It’s a rainbow mustache that’s extra swirly.” The young boy sagely nodded. “Benrey says it needs glitter though to look super nice.”

“gotta make it sparkly like your personality, little dude.” 

Joshua grinned and started laughing while Gordon could not stop himself from smiling at the rather wholesome sight. While Benrey was his typical somewhat apathetic self, his words were far more cohesive, and he sounded less… flustered when speaking. His words were less frantic, far calmer. 

Like he was truly relaxed. 

“Alright.” Gordon nodded as he turned his attention back to the barbeque, not wanting the veggies to burn while he was not paying attention. “Benrey just… keep not eating the chalk, please.”

He did not notice the wink that the ex-security guard sent Joshua, nor did he witness Benrey pull out half a piece of blue chalk from his pocket and carefully crunch into it. 

Blue tasted the best, it was like gatorade. 

The young boy laughed once more before returning to his doodling. Benrey looked at it for a moment, noticing the blue, orange, and yellow pieces of chalk that were clearly intended for whatever it was he was drawing, but Benrey decided not to question it at the moment. 

Joshua would more than likely ramble about it at some point, the kid was full of all sorts of words and tended to ramble to whoever was nearby. It was pretty amusing to listen to and gave him all sorts of insight on both Gordon and what the pair’s home life had been like before he crashed into it. 

Literally. 

Breaking into someone’s apartment at around three in the morning was not the best of plans, especially since it ended with Gordon bringing a bat down on the top of his helmet. Not that Benrey had been hurt of course. 

Seeing Gordon’s dismay and shock as the bat snapped in half and flew off to the side, shattering one of the windows, was hilarious. 

Had that been Benrey’s fault? 

Maaaaybeeee. 

Either way, months had passed since that point. Months spent working on building up Gordon’s trust in him, learning how to do human things like buy groceries that were not just soda. 

A shame since Benrey loved that gamer fuel. 

Getting to know Joshua had been… nice, too. The young boy never had the same anxieties that his father felt, never worried about whether Benrey would hurt him or not. He had been happy to make a new friend who was willing to listen to him ramble and play games with him. Of course, Gordon had not been happy with the developing friendship between the two, but as the months passed… 

Gordon had gone from constantly hovering over them, to occasionally checking in on them, and then finally to trusting Benrey.

Trusting him to watch over his son and not hurt him.

The first time Benrey had noticed this change and realized what it meant; it had been impossible to stop the bright pink orbs that left his mouth. Fortunately, Gordon had not noticed the sweet voice, but Joshua had. 

Joshua, who had later told him how pretty the “glowing balls” looked and how it resembled a very nice, peachy pink. 

Kids could be so blunt sometimes, but Benrey appreciated it. He appreciated how simple and straightforward their minds could be and while curiosity was a constant factor when dealing with a kid, it was an enjoyable part of talking to them. 

Like making a baking soda volcano on the ceiling of Gordon’s apartment. 

Fun times, especially with the bout of strangely quietly screaming he had gotten in response. 

Benrey didn’t know Gordon’s face could turn that red. 

He let out an amused chuckle and drew some loops on the ground with his mostly eaten piece of chalk. He loved getting Gordon so riled up, hearing the insults that were thrown his way and how the agitated man would run his hands through his hair, ruffling it up. 

Loved watching his face flush with anger, how his eyes shined with rage… 

Unnoticed to Benrey, several pink orbs floated out of his mouth as he sighed wistfully. When he realized what he had done, clamping a hand over his mouth to prevent any more from appearing, he noticed that Joshua was staring at him, grinning. 

Shit, one of the things he was actually scared of. 

“heyyyyy little joshie buddy, what’s with that look? kinda… kinda looks like a schemin’ look.” 

Joshua’s smile grew a bit wider. “Maaaybe.”

“... kid you’re scarin’ me.” 

The only response he got to that was a giggling laugh that was part cackle, which left him feeling no less concerned than he had previously been. Benrey sighed and refocused on his random doodling. Yep, just going to let this topic drop-

“You love dad, don’t you?”

Shit.

Benrey looked up and pretended he could not feel the sweat running down his face. Everything was totally fine, he was cool as a cucumber, kid couldn’t suspect a thing… 

“uhhh, sounds pretty cringe, bro.” He shrugged. “and gay.”

“Dad likes all sorts of people!” Joshua huffed. “He likes gay!”

“... that wasn’t-uh... never mind.” Oh fuck, was he blushing? He hoped not. “still cringe, not a pro gamer move.”

“You blushing when dad says something nice about you isn’t cringe.” Joshua bluntly stated. “It’s cute, and grandpa Coomer says gay stuff is cute! Grandpa Coomer’s super smart so it’s gotta be true!” 

“we-well it’s… uh…” Shit, he had no response to that. 

“Dad makes you happy.” Joshua continued to say, now refocusing on his doodle on the ground and Benrey could now see that it was a family of three people. One blue, one orange, and the smallest one was yellow. “Even if you’re weird sometimes, and pour milk in the cereal box before you eat it-”

“fruit loops get super dusty and i wanted to make soup.” 

“Cereal isn’t soup!”

“it is if you’re brave enough.” The change in topic was helping Benrey relax, tension leaving his shoulders as his absent-minded smile returned to his face. Nothing to stress over, everything was chill and-

“So when are you and dad going to go out on a date?”

Nope no more chill nope nope nope-

A date? Benrey had no clue how dates worked, or how they were supposed to work. Besides, his attempts at “flirting” were rarely successful and only seemed to wind Gordon up and, as much as he enjoyed watching the results, sometimes Gordon’s remarks would… sting. 

They would make him hurt, cause him to cringe and recoil from the conversation. Not that such a thing had happened recently, but Benrey knew how unpredictable Gordon’s mood and temperament could be at times. 

“sounds super cringe.” Was the response Joshua got, combined with a tense shrug. “like-like over nine thousand level cringer-”

“That’s an oooooooold reference.” The young boy said as he stuck his tongue out at Benrey. “And you’re changing topics again!”

Oh god, there were now hearts scribbled around the doodles that were clearly supposed to be him and Gordon. What could he say, what was he supposed to say? That he was terrified of fucking up the “Good Ending” he had finally achieved? That he did not want to risk destroying the relationship he currently had with Gordon?

The months of hard work he had put into fixing the damage that had been done because of that stupid, stupid game-

He felt the chalk in his grip crumble and break apart due to how tightly he was holding it, but the thing that snapped him out of his reverie was the sensation of a smaller hand grabbing onto his. 

Joshua?

Indeed, Joshua had scooted over and reached out to hold onto his hand. He looked up at Benrey with a warm smile on his face. 

A smile he had seen many times from the boy’s father… 

“If it’s hard to say it, why don’t you show you!” He suggested, still smiling that same smile. “Dad’ll understand! He gets my drawings all the time!” 

Benrey felt his lips quirk up into the faintest hint of a grin at the suggestion, the tips of sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight. “you sure that’s a pro gamer move?”

“Yup! It’s super pro gamer!” 

“well, guess i’ve got no choice.” Benrey joked while rolling his tense shoulders. “joshie, toss me that orange one.” 

“And blue?”

“you know it.”

As the sun started to descend from its zenith, shadows beginning to stretch across the pavement in front of the apartment building, Gordon finished up his cooking. Everything was stacked on plates and brought over to his, thankfully, ground level room and placed inside. Once that was taken care of, he went about cleaning everything up and putting his barbeque away. 

He was so focused on cleaning everything up that he did not notice the large drawing that was progressively covering the pavement thanks to Benrey. It was only after all signs of his cooking had been neatly cleaned up or put away that he turned his attention to Joshua and his… “roommate”.

If he could call Benrey that.

“Time to head inside!” Gordon called out as he walked towards the duo. His walking slowed down as he noticed that Benrey was crouched in front of a large piece of chalk art. His eyes narrowed in confusion. 

Huh, he had not expected Benrey to be the artistic type, aside from spitting balls into the air. 

Joshua jumped up and rushed to his side, grabbing onto his arm, and tugging him towards Benrey. 

“C’mon dad, look! It’s so cool!”

“Alright, slow down there Joshie.” Gordon chuckled as he allowed his son to pull him towards the art. “It wouldn’t be good if… I… tripped….”

His words slowed and eventually stopped entirely as he finally took in the sight of what Benrey had created and it was…

Beautiful. 

Very abstract in nature, a swirl of colours that seemed to form shapes. Light blues and yellows and greens all circling and intermingling with a core that consisted of a darker, richer blue and orange. 

Swirls and lines that worked together to create faces. His own and Benrey’s. He could also make out what appeared to be Coomer and Bubby in the background, green and light blue seeming to dance together like the pair would, and that warm yellow that encircled them all, Tommy, uniting them. 

What…

As he leaned closer, Gordon noticed smaller details. How Benrey had drawn his hair to be similar to what it truly looked like despite the effort it must have taken. The dark shadows that had been scratched under the ex-guard’s eyes, the white and yellow that mixed together, an attempt to recreate his glowing irises. 

How monstrous he looked overall and yet there was a softness in the lines, and the trail of bubbles that left the drawing’s mouth. 

All a familiar pink. 

Benrey was not as slick as he thought he was, Gordon had noticed the colourful orbs on multiple occasions before he had successfully stopped them. He had never pushed the boundary and asked what they meant since Benrey always seemed so embarrassed, but now…  

“What’s pink translate to?” He asked, crouching down beside Benrey and bumping his shoulder against the other man. 

Benrey was silent, contemplating what to say and how to say it, before he finally mumbled out the answer. “.... s’makes me think.”

“... Pink means you think?”

“yeah,” Benrey shifted and looked up at Gordon, eyes still cast in shadow. “think of you.”

Gordon’s mind drew a blank at that answer, uncertain of how to respond, but before he could even attempt to get the words out the other man took his chance. 

He leaned towards Gordon and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. 

The gesture did not linger, but as Benrey leaned back Gordon could still feel the warmth of the kiss. He reached up and pressed his fingers against his lips and quietly wondered if he was dreaming. 

Benrey sighed, a stream of pink sweet voice floating into the air and waited for Gordon to speak. It felt like an eternity had passed before the other man finally responded to the gesture, voice cracking. 

“Y-You… really? Me? What? But… but you and I-”

“had problems?” Benrey interrupted, eyes fixating on the ground as he squeezed his hands. “no shit. feetman, if-if you don’t wanna-”

“Who said I didn’t?” At that, he looked up and stared at Gordon in surprise. “I was just surprised since you hadn’t said anything about that.”

“i joked about putting our minecraft beds together, bro.” Benrey bluntly stated, causing Gordon to flail as he struggled to explain himself. 

“WELL YEAH! But… but I thought you were joking and shit-”

“Dollar for the swear jar!” Joshua cheerfully interrupted, making his dad groan.

“Okay, dollar later, but first,” He focused his attention back on Benrey, noticing how the other man’s cheeks had darkened and how he kept fidgeting. “... You sure?”

“wouldn’t have asked if i wasn’t.” Benrey quietly commented, now finally looking back at Gordon. “psh, pretty cringe doubting me-”

But he was cut off when Gordon leaned forward and returned the kiss. Joshua cheered and Benrey, completely caught off guard, fell backwards which caused a chain reaction of Gordon stumbling, fumbling, and nearly landing on top of him. 

Gordon’s hands rested on the pavement beside Benrey’s shoulders as Gordon stared into the other man’s eyes. Both were blushing at this point, and a constant stream of pink sweet voice was leaking into the air. 

“U-Uh-”

“dude, you gonna-”

“Are you guys gonna kiss again?” Joshua’s innocent question snapped the pair out of their stupor and they scrambled to get back up. 

“W-Well, probably-”

“later, joshie bro.” That casual smile was back on Benrey’s face, an attempt at trying to look calm despite how much he was blushing. “we gotta… uh… get the meats’n stuff-”

“Yeah, like Arby’s!” Gordon nervously added. “But first…”

He quickly snapped several photos of the drawing Benrey had done on the pavement, also making sure to get several of Joshua’s in the process. Hey, he wanted to be able to look back on it in the future, plus he was certain some asshole would wash it off the pavement soon enough. 

Besides, there was no way in hell he wanted Benrey’s hard work, one of the few examples of hard work, to go to waste. 

“Okay, now we can get the meats.” 

Joshua cheered and raced over to the apartment while Benrey joined his side, an arm brushing against him. In response, Gordon linked an arm with his and smiled at the other man. 

“wow, that… that’s pretty gay, bro. You gayman now?”

“Totally.” Gordon rolled his eyes as he walked arm and arm back to the apartment with Benrey. 

                                    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I continue to be on my bullshit while my muse demands domestic fluff for these two. I suppose it’s a good thing for my followers who are in this fandom XD

I hope you guys enjoyed reading!

- ImmortalCoelacanth

[browneyedhimbo]

Drunken Shenanigans

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Prompts: “How much did you drink last night?” “You threw a fucking cake at me!”

Summary: After having one too many drinks during a girls night out, your boyfriend comes to pick you up to take you home. Little does he know the trouble your going to cause

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, fluff

Word Count: 1.5K

A/N: Me? Doing a writing challenge? Yep! Gotta get out of writer's block so I’m hoping this helps. @geosaurusrrex​ You deserve all the followers! You’re amazing! Hope you all enjoy it! 

Please let me know if you want to get tagged in anything. Enjoy! Masterlist

“I’m bein serious!” You pouted. “Why you laughin? T’s not nice y’know,” you slurred. But Natasha, Wanda, and Pepper couldn’t help but laugh at your not only drunken state, but the fact that you managed to fall to the floor while sitting perfectly still on the sofa.

It was supposed to be a girls night out. Just a nice dinner and maybe some drinks after. But that soon took a turn when it started pouring cats and dogs the moment you stepped out of Natasha’s apartment. Running back inside, you sat down to try and wait out the rain, but to no avail. Eventually, you collectively agreed to have girls night right there in the apartment. 

“Who needs that fancy expensive ass food when you’ve got mac and cheese and microwavable dinners?” Natasha said while walking to the living room with a tray of food in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other.

Needless to say, you had a couple of shots and a few beers. That’s how you ended up where you are now. Drunk and pouting on the floor.

"If only Bucky could see you now," Pepper giggled. Your face lit up at the mention of your boyfriend's name.

"Bucky! Bucky," you giggled, "My Bucky, my bucky, where I go, heeeeee goes, my bucky, my bucky," you started laughing uncontrollably, remembering seeing the My Buddy commercial as a kid. The girls just shake their heads at your antics and laugh with you. 

-----

It was around midnight when Bucky really started to worry. Constantly checking his phone for updates from you. Usually on girls night, you were gone for a few hours, updated him a few times, and came back around the same time, always between 9-11pm. That's why when the clock struck 12:34am he up and went over to Nat's to see if you were there. People might say he's just being paranoid, but with him being ex-hydra, an ex-assassin, and an Avenger, yeah. He'll get worried someone took you.

The entire car ride to Nat's, he felt uneasy. Every bad scenario going through his head. Hydra kidnapping you, random dude's coming up to you, getting into a car acci - he doesn't even want to finish his thoughts. Blood already boiling and his anxiousness rising. He can't lose you, he'd never be the same. 

Pulling up to Natasha's apartment complex, he turned off the engine and took a deep breath, trying really hard to calm his nerves. One last breath and he was running up the stairs to Natasha's apartment.

-----

"I'm hmm’bathroom," you slurred getting up off the floor. You wobbled a bit before gaining balance again. Slowly, you walked to the bathroom. The moment you shut the door you heard commotion coming from the other side.

-----

Banging on the door to Natasha’s, Bucky tried to calm down. He really did. But his racing thoughts hardly let him. That’s why the moment the door opened his mouth went a mile a minute asking about you.

“She’s in the bathroom,” Nat chuckled, opening the door wide enough for him to come inside. Breathing a sigh of relief, he sat down on a stool by the kitchen table rubbing a hand over his face. About three minutes later he hears the bathroom door open. He turns around to see you stumbling out, a giggly drunken mess. Immediately he’s at your side.

“Heeey baby,” You giggle as look up at him. All he does is smile and shake his head, guiding you to the sofa. Sitting you down he goes and looks for your coat and purse. Slowly you started to doze off, but the feeling of weight on your shoulders perked you right up. 

“Alright you, let’s get you home.” He finished putting your coat on you and grabbed your purse. Both of you saying your goodbyes, he guided you to the elevator, through the lobby, and to the car. At least the rain died down a bit.

The car ride home wasn’t all that of a silent one. Laughs and giggles escaping your mouth every so often making it hard for Bucky to not join you. To him, your laugh was contagious, your smile was bright, and your eyes were entrancing. Yes, even in your goofy drunken state.

Pulling into the parking lot of the apartment building you both lived in, you started reciting different poems and plays. It lasted the entire way up to your apartment. Once inside, you switched to singing random pieces of songs. You started giggling more and even started sloppily dancing around the kitchen. Though it was short lived because as soon as your eyes landed on the small circular dish, you froze. A small mischievous smile forming on your lips. Thanking your lucky stars that your back was to Bucky, he couldn’t really see the cogs turning in your head. Slowly, you grabbed a handful, and turned around. Putting the hand that has the chunk of cake behind your back, you see Bucky kicking off his shoes and putting your coats away. You bit your bottom lip to keep you from laughing again.

With a sigh he turned around and was greeted with a glint of playfulness in your eyes. Cocking his eyebrow and putting his hands on hips, he takes a step to question you, but is met with a handful of cake being thrown at his face. You busted out laughing. With a groan and a sigh, he grabbed some napkins off the counter and turned to face you.

“Really babe?,” he starts to clean the frosting off his face only to get the entire pan of cake launched at him. The pan was stuck to his face for a good 45 seconds before it fell off and clattered to the floor. He looked up at you, an amused yet annoyed look in his eyes.

“Uhhh ohhh,” You said as you ran out of the kitchen in a fit of laughter and into the living room. You jumped on the sofa and tried to bundled yourself in so many blankets as to not get caught but you weren’t fast enough. Bucky grabbed you by your waist and pulled you away from the sofa. 

“Nooooo!” You flopped in his arms. But then another brilliant idea flew to your head. He’ll let you go if you give him a big kiss right? Worth a shot. You turned around his arms to face him. Still face covered with frosting, you moved some hair out of his face and kissed him. A short and sweet cake covered kiss. The moment you parted for air, you darted off to your shared bedroom.

He couldn’t help but laugh. The things you did drunk. He couldn’t wait to tell you about this in the morning.

After washing up, Bucky walked into the room and sat right next to your sleeping form. A soft smile appearing on his lips. He lays down and pulls you into his arms. Sleep soon overtaking him.

-----

Cracking open your eyes, you felt your head pound and your body ache. Fucking hell. You groaned, rolling over to cuddle with Bucky, but was met with an empty side of the bed. You huffed, not wanting to get up. But the new smell of bacon and coffee was slowly starting to convince you more and more. Your stomach growled loudly. Fine, I’ll fucking get up. The moment you sat up, you felt your headache intensify. Clutching your head you got up from the bed and went straight to the kitchen. Walking in you saw Bucky flipping some pancakes.

“Mornin sleepin beauty,” he turned and smiled at you. You groaned again. Headache getting worse by the minute.

“So how was last night?” He asked while setting a plate of bacon in front of you.

“It was uh, good? I mean it was girls night so…” You trailed off. You stopped mid bite when you saw your boyfriend’s eyebrows shoot up. “What?”

“How much did you drink last night?” Another smirk played on his lips. Oh how you wanted to wipe that smirk off.

“Why? What did I do this time?” You set the piece of bacon down, ready to receive whatever was coming at you now. 

“Oh nothing much. Just some laughs and giggles, and the fact that you threw a fucking cake at me!” Your jaw dropped. 

“I what now?” That was something you weren’t expecting in the slightest. He shook his head in confirmation.

“Yup, the cake that was for today. The one you baked for your friend for her party.” You face palmed. Motherfucker.

“Bucky I am sooo sorry I threw the cake at you. And now I have to run to the store to get more stuff so I can make another one before she -” Bucky pulls out an exact replica of the cake you baked just the other day. “But didn’t you say?”

“I baked a new one. I felt bad that all your hard work didn’t really pay off so well. Especially for me,” he chuckled. You got out of your seat and wrapped him in a hug. Headache long forgotten.

“You know you didn’t have to,” you looked up into those sparkling blue eyes of his, “but thank you.” Man did you have the sweetest boyfriend.

Tags: @agentpeggybarnes​ @katbtracy​ @justmebeingtheweirdmeiam​ @dianadov​ @writing-for-hours-on-end​ @theladyoffangorn​ @agentpeggybarnesfanfics​ @geosaurusrrex​

[jhoudiey]

girl-in-the-tower: Tumblr won't let me copy the ghost emoji, but can I have Highertower and Yoru-Theo stuck in a haunted house shenanigans?

well this took fucking forever, but BEHOLD. HIGHERTOWER AND TEAM ARTIFACT ADVENTURE, TOGETHER, BUT THERE’S SOME GHOSTS AND SHIT. Ended up being longer than I meant but whatever. 1222 words

___

The ground quaked before them, the house looming high above their heads. they were not welcome here. The house had been abandoned years ago after the family that owned it had been found brutally murdered;  the enchantments placed on it had kept any visitors away since. Theo had been researching it for quite a while, he’d heard a rumor that the house was merely a hiding place for an incredibly rare artifact, rather than being truly haunted. Unfortunately, Kore and Billy had heard him telling Yoru about it and insisted they come along as well. 

“You two wait outside and keep the door open, we don’t know what’s going to happen in there,” Theo said looking at Kore and Billy, who was hiding behind her. He really wished his daughter would dump this loser of an eel. 

“Why!?” Kore protested, staring him down “You said it’s not even haunted! I wanna come in too!” Theo sighed, pinching his brow “Kore… I said we don’t know if it’s haunted, and depending on the enchantments we may get trapped inside. Hence, making sure the door stays open”. Kore huffed but nodded. Billy breathed a sigh of relief, he had a poor track record with ghosts. Theo looked to Yoru who nodded and followed him inside. 

They crept into the house, the floorboards creaking below their feet. Mice skittered away from them, filling the room with tiny scraping sounds and squeaking. “Okay, we’re looking for a small black box, should have a small band of ruby running horizontally around the lower half. Silver clawed feet” Theo said to Yoru, scanning the room for where the artifact could be hidden. Yoru nodded searching the other half of the room. As they proceeded into the room, the trembling in the ground grew stronger. Theo chuckled “looks like someone really doesn’t want us here” he laughed, starting to dig through a desk looking for the box. “Uhhh Theo, best watch your feet there,” Yoru said, pointing. Cracks had begun to appear with each quake. “Ehhhh it’ll be fine” Theo said, waving her off. They pushed through the house continuing their search, ignoring the shaking and the cracks on the floor, the artifact was seemingly well hidden. 

“Ummmm Theooooooo!!” They heard Kore call from the main floor “Where are youuuuuu??” They could hear her banging around below them. Theo groaned, he really didn’t want to deal with that eel in this house “We’re upstairs!” he shouted back, going back to his search with 200% more grumbling. Kore and Billy burst into the room, red faced and out of breath. “So.” She said, as if it were a regular conversation “there ARE ghosts. They were just outside. We got away though!” She finished brightly, proud that she was able to fight off ghosts even without magic. “So you’re saying the ghosts came inside with you?” Theo asked, not bothering to look in her direction. “YUP!” She said, a smile plastered on her face, “They almost got Billy too! I had to shoo them away with a shovel!”. Theo stopped and stared at her. The opportunity to finally be rid of the eel had presented itself, and yet… she chose to save him. Why couldn’t he save himself?...And where did she get that shovel?! Kore saw him looking at the shovel in her hand and she smiled even brighter. “There’s a garden here too!”

Yoru laughed from the other room, leave it to Kore to find a garden at the house that wants to kill you. “Uhhhhh guyssss… they’re cominggggg” Billy whined, trying to hide behind Kore again, watching the ghosts appear from the walls and floor. They were laughing quietly, the sound melding together to form a cacophony of glee. It had been a while since the ghosts had had visitors, and they were excited to play. “Nyeh! Nyeh!” Kore brandished the shovel at them to no avail, Billy, in a fit of chivalry stepped in front of her. “I’ll protect you from these crappy ghosts, Kore!” He grabbed his magical pen and thrust his hand out in front of him, pen slipping from his fingers and tumbling to the floor. “Hah. Oh that’s bad” He giggled, being overtaken by the ghosts as Kore continued swinging the shovel around. “Oh for fucks sake” Theo sighed, giving up his search to assist Kore in chasing off the ghosts. Yoru flew in through the door, biting her lip and looking behind her often. “Oh what now?” Theo mumbled, lazily casting spells to banish the ghosts. “So the house is disappearing, any luck so far? There’s nothing in the rest of the house”. Theo ran to the door and looked down the stairs to assess how much time they had left. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Theo had expected that the house had begun to fall into the cracks, but instead there was a gaping void staring back at him. Yoru hadn’t been kidding, and there wasn’t much time left to get out by the look of it. He stomped back into the room, searching frantically for possible exits. His eyes fell on a window, and he ran to it, hoping that the world still existed outside of it. 

“Kore! I need you to use that shovel and break this window, we’ve gotta get moving” He said, hurrying his search around the room. Kore set to smashing the window out as Theo started throwing books off the shelf hoping for a false wall or fake backing that would hide the artifact he was searching for. Yoru began knocking on the walls, hoping to find a hollow that could contain their prize. Darkness was at their door, pressing itself into the room around them. “Fuck! Everybody out!” He shouted, herding Yoru towards the window. Kore peered out the window taking a deep breath before jumping out of it. She hit the ground and rolled, standing up to show she was okay. Yoru flew out and hovered near the windowsill, Theo glanced back into the room before jumping himself to see Billy still laying in the middle of the room, staring at the ceiling giggling. He bit his lip and weighed his options. On one hand, he’d be free of the stoned mermaid... on the other his daughter would be heartbroken. He sighed loudly, hurrying to his side. “Get yourself together, kid” He said, fury in his voice. Billy giggled and pointed at the roof “Hehehe..the pattern doesn’t match.” Theo whipped his head up to look at the ceiling, Yoru flying back into the room. Billy was right, one of the ceiling tiles was slightly off center, the lines mismatched by millimeters. “Go!” Yoru shouted to Theo, flying up to pull at the tile as the darkness advanced on them. The title moved but wouldn’t come loose “Oh fuck this” She grunted, bringing her legs up to shove her talons into the ceiling to scoop out whatever she could get the nails around. The box fell from the rubble, tumbling down into the advancing darkness. Yoru folded her wings, dropping to grab the elusive artifact in her feet before racing out the window. She landed in the grass next to Theo grinning, handing him the box “Well that went well” she laughed, looking at the empty space that the house used to occupy.

[gryffindorcls]

What Happened?

(ML Lovesquare Fluff Week 2k19 - Day 2:  Forehead Kisses)

Hello, lovely readers!

HAPPY DAY 2 OF LOVESQUARE FLUFF WEEK 2019!!!

The Day 2 prompt is “Forehead Kisses”.

Thank you @lovesquarefluffweek for organizing this week of fluff!

---

Day 2: Forehead Kisses

Much to Marinette’s chagrin, her slumber was rudely interrupted by frantic pounding against her skylight. She felt herself sink further into her nest of blankets and pillows as she groaned and squinted in the darkness. All she wanted to do was sleep...she was so tired.

Another volley of knocks sounded above her, waking her up completely. When she attempted to turn over and sit up, shooting pain in her ankle sent a shock through her body. Marinette hissed and flopped back onto her bed.

“Princess,” said the muffled voice of Chat Noir overhead, “please open up.”

Tikki zipped over and landed on the pillow next to her. “Are you going to let him in?”

Marinette turned her head towards her Kwami. “Well, he is my boyfriend.”

“You’ve had a long day. I can tell him that you really need to sleep.”

“No...it’s fine. He’s probably worried. I’m sure he heard about what happened today, and he just wants to check up on me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Could you open the hatch for him? I would, but my ankle is starting to hurt a lot. I think the medicine they gave me at the hospital is starting to wear off.”

The red Kwami nuzzled her holder’s cheek. “Of course, Marinette.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

A few seconds later, Chat Noir gingerly landed on her bed. “Princess, ohmygod...Plagg, claws off.”

Marinette turned her head away from her partner as the light from his detransformation flooded her room. “Hello, Adrien. You seemed to be rather anxious to get in tonight. Is everything okay?”

“No, I’ve been freaking out all night. I couldn’t get away until now. I didn’t get to look at any of my messages until after the photoshoot, and then my dad made me do some stupid interview. And why are you asking me if I’m okay.? Jeez, Marinette, I…ugh...I’m so sorry. There was just so much. I should have...”

She giggled, cutting him off. “It’s okay, Adrien. I understand. You had a lot on your schedule today, and your dad isn’t exactly accommodating. Besides, I saw you on t.v. while I was in the E.R. waiting room. As always, you did great, but I could tell that you were kind of distressed. Your smile didn’t cover up the worry in your eyes, and that’s when I figured that you found out about...well...everything. I know that you care about me, but I feel bad that you had to think about it all evening.”

He looked at her with pleading eyes. “Marinette, what happened? And why didn’t you text me?”

“My phone broke when I fell, and the replacement should be here in a day or two. I know I could have messaged you on Facebook, but when we got home from the hospital, my dad helped me up here, and I’m kind of stuck at the moment. My computer is down there, and every time I move, it hurts. I figured that you would show up eventually because you always do when something is wrong. Besides, didn’t someone from school text you about it?”

“Everyone texted me about it. I even got a video.”

“Oh, no...they actually kept the footage?”

“Yup...I saw the fall, the screams, and when Ivan carried you off to the nurse’s office. I’ll have to thank him for doing that.”

“Yeah...he was really concerned after it happened.”

Adrien sighed. “Look...I may have seen the video, but I would really like to hear what happened from you.”

Marinette attempted to prop herself up, but the pain in her ankle caused her to wince. Adrien’s panicked response was immediate. Without hesitation, he crawled across the bed, snaked one of his arms around Marinette’s back, lifted her into a sitting position, and held her against his chest.

“Thanks, Chaton,” she whispered against his soft, cotton t-shirt.

He rested his cheek on top of her head. “Princess...please explain. I leave you for a few hours to work on a project, and I just...”

“I know. Okay...first of all, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You fell down the stairs.”

“I fell down half of the stairs.”

“Marinette…”

“Fine. So, we were working on that video for History class. You know...the one about Ancient Rome...and I was wearing one of the period pieces that I designed. Let’s just say that my feet and the fabric didn’t agree.”

He released a shaky breath. “Ohmygod…”

“There are bruises where I landed, but the biggest injury is a sprained ankle. The doctor who looked at me in the hospital said I was really lucky that I didn’t break anything. I guess all that Ladybug luck is finally rubbing off on me!”

Marinette laughed upon completing her explanation, but she immediately fell silent when she felt Adrien’s body shake in her arms. She stroked his back as he sobbed gently.

“Oh, no, kitty...shhh,” she cooed, “It’s okay...I’m okay...everything is okay.”

He continued to cry. “No, it’s not. It’s not okay because I wasn’t there. There are too many times when I’m not there. I should have been there. I let you down. I should have been there for you.”

Marinette pulled away from him. “Adrien Agreste, don’t you dare get yourself worked up over this. You are always there for me. I mean, just look at you right now. You ran across Paris in a magical catsuit and are currently holding me like the world will end if you let go.”

“I just feel like a failure. A good boyfriend would have carried you to the nurse. A good boyfriend would have held your hand while you waited to be seen by a doctor. A good boyfriend would have spent the evening with you making sure that you were comfortable. I didn’t do any of those things because I was once again not there. Sometimes, I feel like you would be better off without me.”

“No! How could you say something like that? I need you, Adrien. We are partners...we are a team. You are my other half. Ugh...sometimes I just want to kick your dad for ever making you feel like you’re not enough. You are enough by simply being you. You can't be physically next to me every second of the day. We cherish the time that we have, and then we hold each other in our hearts until we meet again Things are going to happen when we’re apart. You’re here now, and I know you were thinking about me. You are the best boyfriend I could have asked for.”

He sniffled. “Really.”

Marinette placed a gentle, feathery kiss on his forehead, causing Adrien’s eyes to flutter shut. She giggled at her boyfriend’s response.

“Yes, Chaton,” she said lovingly, “You are amazing.”

He wiped his face with the back of his hand. “Thank you, Princess...I really needed that. I guess I was just feeling a little...ummm…”

“Insecure?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, we know that happens from time to time, and I will always be here to remind you of everything that makes you awesome. Think about it. Not only are you literally a model, but you’re also a straight-A student, have the busiest schedule I’ve ever seen, and are a genuinely good human being. Then, to top it off, you’re also the best partner Ladybug has ever had.”

“I’m the only partner Ladybug has ever had.”

She reached up and buried her fingers in his messy blond locks. “You better believe it! And she plans on keeping it that way.”

With a playful grin, Adrien closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. “Oh, really? Did she tell you that?”

“Yup. She told me herself.”

“Wow...that’s amazing.”

“Yeah, she told me that you take care of her both in and out of the mask.”

Adrien’s smile suddenly faded. “Okay, so about that…”

Marinette sighed. “And there it is…”

“What?”

“You’re about to tell me that you don’t want me running across the roofs of Paris while I have a sprained ankle.”

“Yes, and…”

“In the case of an Akuma attack, you will meet me on my balcony with the Akumatized object so I cleanse it here. I know, minou. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I may have decent coordination as Ladybug, but I am a spaz outside of the suit.”

He pulled her close once more. “You’re not a spaz. You’re just a little clumsy.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Yeah right. You’re saying this to the girl who has gotten a concussion two times this year from running into the same door.”

“To be fair, you were in a rush both times.”

“Because I’m a mess, Adrien!”

“Well if you insist on calling yourself that, then I must declare that you’re the most radiant mess on the planet, my lady.”

She pulled away and swatted at his arm. “Flirt.”

“Only for you,” he cooed in her ear.

“Cool. So, while my heart also beats only for you...I do have one little problem at the moment.”

“Oh? And what might that be, Princess?”

“You see...before you got here, I was sleeping.”

“Oops...yeah, I...umm...sorry about that. I was just so worried. I should have talked to you about this in the morning.”

No, no. Don’t get me wrong. I was expecting you to show up, and I’m happy that you came. It’s just, while I was sleeping, I couldn’t feel the pain in my ankle. Now that I’m awake and the medicine is wearing off, it’s kind of hurting a lot.”

Panic returned to his eyes as Adrien let go and backed away from her. “I’m so sorry. Holding you probably isn’t helping. I’ll just go. I’ll see you tomorrow, Marinette.”

She giggled and grabbed his wrist. “Actually, being held was very comforting. I’d really like it if you did that again, but...uhhh...would it be okay I lay down? Sitting up is making the pain worse.”

“My lady,” he said with a grin, “are you suggesting that we cuddle?”

“Well, now that I’m awake, you have to stay with me until I fall asleep again, so yes...I am asking for cuddles”

He smiled as he helped Marinette situate herself comfortably against her pillow. Seconds later, he laid down next to her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her close.

“Thanks for always being there for me, Adrien,” she whispered sleepily.

He gave her a gentle squeeze. “Always, Princess.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Marinette soon found herself drifting off into a peaceful sleep, and while it may have just been a dream, she could have sworn that she felt Adrien leave a soft, loving kiss on her forehead before transforming and vaulting off into the night.

AO3

[ghostez]

Blast From The Past

quick heads-up that all the new youtubers dropping into hermitcraft have time travelled from 2016 so they got their 2016 outfits and personalities

~*~

>stampylongnose joined the game

A loud yelp immediately alerted Scar away from his base, followed by a faint crash that was shortly cut off by coughing. Scar whipped around on his heals and immediately ran towards it, a nearly tripping over his own slippers. His first thought was that someone had crashed into a tree again (probably Mumbo), but that wasn't the case.

A brunette with curly hair and an orange hoodie was laying on the ground, a dark red vest over the hoodie. Faux cat ears on the hood stuck out from among the leaves that had fallen on his head, and a white tipped tail whisked behind him as he coughed rather violently.

Scar was stunned into silence for a moment before gathering his composure. "Um, hi?" The stranger jumped at his voice, glancing up at him with emerald green eyes, but was interrupted by another cough. "Hey are, you okay?"

"Y-yeah just *cough* i-inhaled something," the brunette spluttered, gasping for breath. He finally looked up Scar and squinted. "Finnball?"

Scar raised an eyebrow curiously and kneeled next to him. "No?" he replied, tilting his head. "My name's Scar. Is Finnball a friend of yours?"

The stranger nodded, squinting his eyes a bit less now that Scar was closer. "Can you uh, see my glasses?" he asked, feeling around for the thin frame. "Everything's kinda just a big green blob for me and uh, my glasses are pretty small."

"Oh uh, yeah sure." Scar looked around for a moment before easily spotting the glasses and handed them to the brunette who quickly slipped them on.

"That's better!" He smiled and heaved himself onto his feet, only a bit taller than Scar. "So uh, it's nice to meet you!" he exclaimed, holding out a hand for Scar to shake. "My name's Stampy! You said you were Scar?"

"Yeah I'm Scar," Scar replied, shaking his hand. "I think I've heard of you. Stampylongnose right? Creator of the famous Lovely World?"

"Yup!" Stampy nodded, grinning. "That's me!" A nearby parrot suddenly swooped down and delicately perched on a branch near the two, chirping a little tune. "Aww hey birdie!" Stampy cooed, stepping closer and patting it on the head.

He looked around, finally the noticing the tall jungle trees towering over him. "Where... are we?" he asked slowly, spinning around. "Is this My Story Mode House-? wait no that's an Xbox server- uhhh, is this Quacktopia or maybe Squid's server-"

"Slow down!" Scar interrupted, his head practically spinning.

"Ah! Sorry!" Stampy said, smiling apologetically. "But uh, where is this?"

"You're in Hermitcraft, a whitelisted server," Scar explained, letting out a breath. "Do you even know how you got here? I wasn't aware we were getting a new member, unless you hacked but you really don't seem like the kind of person to hack."

"Oh no, I would never hack!" Stampy chucked awkwardly. "I don't even think I know how to hack! I can barely navigate PC worlds!" He giggled. "But ah, my friend managed to get me in here. He did some science-y redstone stuff and bam! I ended up falling into a jungle!"

Scar stared at him for a moment in confused silence. "...huh," he finally managed to say. Guess I should probably tell Xisuma, he thought, digging into his pocket for his communicator.

>iBallisticSquid joined the game

"Excuse me!" a voice yelled. Keralis looked up to see someone with dirty blonde hair and a dark blue jacket waving from the top of his crane, holding his red and blue headphones with his other hand so they wouldn't fall off.

His mismatching colored eyes lit up when Keralis looked up at him and he waved even harder, nearly falling off the platform in the progress. "Hi!" he called down. "Did you build this?!"

"Uh- me?" Keralis asked, a little startled. "Y-yeah, I did! Why?"

"This looks awesome!"

"I-uh- thank you?" Keralis yelled back up, still slightly confused by the whole situation. "Do you need some help down? I can fly up if you want!"

The stranger stared at him weirdly. "Are you in creative or something?" he asked. "Or did you mean ladders? Or ya gonna nerd-pole?"

This time it was Keralis' turn to give a strange look. "No...?" he said, getting out a rocket to show him. "I'm gonna... fly?" He shot himself into the sky, boosting up next to the mysterious player and skidding next to him.

The blonde gaped at him in wide-eyed shock, eyes flicking from Keralis' custom elytra to his face. "Wait, is that one of those new wingy things?!" he exclaimed, pointing to the black and yellow striped gliders. "That's so cool! I didn't know you could dye 'em! Or use fireworks with 'em!"

"Uh, you can't?" Keralis said, picked up one of the wings slightly. "Everyone can just, customize their elytras?" He raised an eyebrow. "Are you a new player?"

"Nah, not at all." The stranger put his hands behind his head, grinning and showing sharp teeth. "Actually bit of an old player; just not used to the new update yet."

Keralis had more questions but decided to save them for later and first figure out who this person was. "Well, what's you name?" he asked. "I'm Keralis."

"My name's Squid-oodalay!" Squid replied, taking an exaggerated bow. "Or just Squid! Pleasure to meet'cha!"

"Nice to meet you too." Keralis glanced down and immediately regretted it as the world started to swim beneath his feet. "Oh that's not good," he muttered, taking a step backwards. His heel caught on the edge and slipped off, making him jolt backwards with a cry.

"I gotcha!" Squid quickly reached and grabbed his arm, digging his heels into the ground and pulling him up. Keralis was heaved up and the brunette collapsed on the concrete, gasping for breath.

"Th-thanks..."

"No problem, but we should probably get down now. Don't want one of us to fall down again." Squid chuckled and jumped over to where the mast was, glancing down at the ladder in the middle before walking over to the edge and leaping off.

"SQUID!" Keralis leaped off as well, spreading out his elytra and swooping down. Squid was hanging off the ledge of one of the gaps in the mast, about a third of the way down and heaving himself onto the block.

"What the heck was that?!" Keralis managed to yell as he glided besides him, eyes wide and distraught.

"It's quicker than ladders!" Squid retorted, smirking and ready to jump again. "And I don't think your wings can hold both of us! Can they?" Keralis hesitated for a moment but reluctantly shook his head. "Knew it!"

Squid jumped down again and landed squarely on the ground, yelping and nearly falling over. "Ow! Me legs!" he whined, rubbing at his ankle.

"A-are you okay?" Keralis asked, skidding to a stop on the ground.

"Yeah I'm good, just a few hearts down." Squid looked up at Keralis, then the crane, then the house, then back at Keralis. "Probably should've asked this earlier but uh, where is this? Like, I know it's a mesa-"

"I think it's savannah actually."

"One of the grassy places!"

"I don't think mesas are grassy."

"One of the orange places!"

Keralis sighed; this was going no where. "I'm just... gonna tell Shashwamy that you're here," he mumbled, pulling out his communicator.

Squid glanced over at his communicator as the screen popped up, trying to read the backwards text. "Wait who's Shashwamy? Is that a friend?"

"Yeah he's, also the admin of Hermitcraft."

"Wait admin? Is this Hypixel or something? Also what's Hermitcraft? Aren't those crabs?"

>DanTDM joined the game

Someone knocked at the door of his pyramid and Cub rolled his eyes. "Come in, the door isn't even there," he said, not even turning around.

"Um, hello?" The unfamiliar voice instantly made Cub whip around, sword glittering in hand. A brunette with goggles on his head was standing at the doorway, the front part of his hair dyed electric blue.

"Username, now," Cub demanded, tattered vex wings bursting from his back. The brunette's pale blue eyes widened and he fumbled to grab his communicator. He tapped at the screen and a hologram screen flashed in front of him with his username.

Cub lowered his sword and the wings on his back faded, but he still eyed the brunette warily. "Sorry about that," he muttered, tucking his sword away. "I thought you were a hacker or something."

"Oh no, I should be the one apologizing!" the stranger said quickly, smiling awkwardly. "I probably should've given more of a heads-up than just waltzing on in."

"So are you really DanTDM?" Cub asked. "Also how the hell'd you get in here?"

"Yeah I am DanTDM," the brunette replied sheepishly, looking away with a slight smile. "And I might have uh, done something? Bad?"

Cub rolled his eyes. "Real specific."

Dan chuckled. "I know, I know. But I'm honestly not too sure what I did either? I was playing around around with portals with some friends, and then one of the portals also kinda blew up and I ended up here?"

A bark suddenly echoed in the room and the skeleton of a dog came bounding in, growling slightly under its breath. Cub could only stare in silent awe as the dog bounced up to Dan and sat at his feet, glaring at Cub with cold eyes.

"Awww hey Grim!" Dan cooed, picking up the bony pup. "Did you follow me through the portal?"

"Wh... how did you even manage this?!" Cub exclaimed, his eyes wide. He grabbed his communicator out from his pocket and instantly flicked to the main chat. "I need to tell X about this!"

Dan looked up, squinting at the backwards text and attempting to read some of it. "You should also probably tell you friend that I'm here."

"Oh right, that too."

[ubernoxa]

The Sip: A GNR Modern Day AU

Chapter 6: Just Friends

Previous Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

Chapter Summary: Alanah gets a call from her manager and Duff surprises her with some help.

Warning: Fluff

I sat on the couch in Sandy’s and my apartment wishing I was anywhere else.

Declan had surprised Sandy for dinner and they were currently out eating at some fancy restaurant.

A couple hours earlier, Declan showed up at our door with a dozen roses dresses in a full suit. Apparently it was their six month anniversary, but you wouldn’t know that if you saw Sandy at the party last night. There are times I wonder if she knows what the definition of committed relationship is. I can’t judge though, my last relationships was borderline fake.

Originally we were supposed to record, but they both looked so excited to go. Before Sandy could break the news to him on how she couldn’t go, I told her we could reschedule. We had some prerecorded stuff, so we could just post that instead. She was still hesitant, so I added on that I could livestream cooking. Eventually she caved and left for her dinner with Declan. I hope she didn’t cheat on him, but the way that stranger’s arm was wrapped around her led me to believe the worst. She was supposed to be the smart one out of the two of us. She didn’t leave without making a comment on how I should invite Duff over for the stream. I swear she just wanted me to get in a relationship again, so we could go on double dates and couples vacations.

I continued to stare in the mirror as I finished applying my foundation. My heart skipped a beat as the sound of my phone ringing echoed through my apartment. Duff?

To my disappointment, it was only my media manager..well both Sandy’s and my media manager. We hired her a while back to help us with the legal side of YouTube and to help with our social presence.

“Hey Alanah, hows it going?”

“Good, Good...preparing to do the livestream I just texted you about,” I began to begin working on my eyes as I spoke.

“Okay well...you know how I hate getting into your personal life Alanah, but...” God I wish she would just spit it out. I knew she was going to ask about if I was dating Duff or not. I know we’re not, but I....I don’t know. After this morning’s bathroom event, I needed to know what that meant to him. No way that was just two friends hanging out, or maybe that’s how a rockstar hangs out with girls? Fuck.

“Are you dating Duff,” I let a fake laugh escape me once she finally got around to asking the question.

“No, just friends.” Yup, just friends would had sex multiple times in the past 24 hours and then relaxed in a jacuzzi together. Just casual friend things.

My manager went silent for a couple seconds. Was she expecting me to say yes?

“Things just ended with Mark, and I just want to enjoy being single. I won’t lie, I shed a couple tears when I heard he said Alanah who....but I’ve heard worst things. Why are you asking?” I stopped applying my makeup and focused on my manager. She went silent again, and that wasn’t ever a good sign.

“Well, you were tagged in some social media posts.....” she once again paused causing my patience to go extinct. SPIT IT OUT.

“There was a video from the paparazzi, Ill send it your way. I know Mark is a celebrity, but he wasn’t a household name like Duff. If you two do start dating you are aware that you are going to lose your sense of privacy right? You’ll be added to his list of ex’s. That’s what you will be known for,” I let out a sigh as she finished talking. Jesus Christ, we aren’t even dating and I was already getting this talk.

“Just friends,” I faked the confidence in my voice before I heard her mumble something.

“Well I’m glad you’re doing well, I’ll send you a link to the video I was referencing. If you and Duff are JUST FRIENDS you should ask him to help cook for your stream tonight,”

“Really?” I sounded like a nervous middle schooler as I spoke. Why was I nervous?

“Yeah, could be fun. Have a good one Alanah,” she hung up before I could even say goodbye...typical.

I opened up Instagram and was immediately met with a bunch of notifications. Whoever ran the Gun’s Instagram page had tagged me in a couple of photos. Most of them consisted of photos from earlier in the night of us around the BBQ. I was surprised to see that I looked decent in most of them, and in a couple...only a couple of the photos...Duff and I did look like we were dating. He had is arm wrapped around my waist or I was sitting on his lap. We aren’t dating though just friends.

I went over to his page to message him, and that’s when I froze. I immediately clicked on the most recent post and scrolled through the photos. There was one photo that caught my attention. It was from when we were eating dinner last night. It must have been cropped because it was just the two of us, but I remembered this moment. He had just made a joke that was so stupid I couldn’t help, but laugh. Yesterday I didn’t notice it, but he was smiling down at me as I giggled in the photo and he had his hand wrapped around my waist. I couldn’t read into that much more. We are just friends. We are nothing more than friends. FRIENDS.

I logged into the Instagram account specifically for Sandy’s and my YouTube channel and began to record a video.

“Hey guy! Hope you’re haveing a great Tuesday. Sandy is out celebrating an anniversary so you’re stuck with me tonight!”

“Tonight I will be live-streaming me attempting to cook something you guys comment below! So comment your ideas and hopefully I won’t burn them!”

I then when to share the video on twitter and Tumblr to try to gain traction.

I put some music on and began to scroll through the comments trying to find an idea of what to cook. The comments started out as helpful but after some scrolling a lot of the comment were about Duff....I placed my phone out and let out a sigh.

“Are you and Duff dating?”

“Wow, talk about a rebound”

“Duff + Alanah... #upgrade”

Why did I have to deal with this bull shit? Not that I wouldn’t mind being his girlfriend....but he was a rockstar and we were JUST FRIENDS.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone began to ring. Speaking of the devil, it was Duff.

“Hey, what’s up?” I smiled as I looked at my screen. His hair was all over the place and he looked exhausted. It must had been a long practice.

“I’m about 30 seconds away from killing my bandmates, you?”

“Well I’m currently trying to chose what to cook for my livestream,” I quickly checked what I looked like on the screen. I was thankful that I put makeup on and did my hair, I looked pretty good..not to toot my own horn or anything.

“How about Thai Salmon?” I was caught off guard by his recommendation.

“Ohhh uhhh I don’t know how to bake that.....and umm...I don’t want to look like a fool on livestream,” I was tripping over my words, unable to cease talking.

“Well if you need help, I’m actually a decent cook. I could even show you some stuff if you want,” he wanted to help me cook?

“Yeah sure!” I could feel a smile growing on my cheek from ear to ear as I spoke. I watched a smile flash on his face as I answered.

“Great! So I’ll bring the ingredients we need and we also have to soak the salmon for two hours before it’s cooked!”

My stomach was performing backflips as Duff talked. He was excited. He was excited to hang out with me. Holy shit.

Time flew by as I began to setup the two cameras. The first was on a rather large tripod allowing you to see the entire kitchen, which wasn’t much, and the second was a small camera that would be used for more close up shots.

***Buzz***

I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard my apartment’s doorbell ring. I bolted towards my intercom to the lobby, “Hello?”

“Hey Alanah, it’s Duff I got the stuff, wanna let me in or we can try to cook in the lobby?” I chuckled as I hit a button on my intercom and buzzed in. What if he thinks less of me because of my small apartment? What if he thinks I’m below him? Is my apartment too dirty? Is it too clean?

A knock at the door pulled me out of my chaotic merry-go-round of thoughts.

I took a deep breath and opened my door.

“So this is what your apartment looks like,” he had a small smile on his face as he walked around looking at the photos that hung on the wall.

“It’s not much, but it’s home,” I shrugged leaning against the table for support.

“Its cozy! I got the food, shall we begin?”

“Umm...yeah..uhhh..yeah..so since the salmon needs to marinate I’m doing a little prerecording for the video to post later in the week if that’s fine,” I wanted to kick myself repeatedly for stumbling over my words. God! I felt like such a baffoon.

“How can I help?” I watched as he looked at my camera positioned to look at the entire room.

“You can do whatever you want! If you wanna help with the cameras it’s up to you. If you want to sit on the couch and be on your phone that’s fine too,” I shrugged watching his body language as I spoke. He actually wanted to help....the rockstar was looking to help..weird okay.

“So that camera there is for overall shots while this one is for like close up,” I held up the second camera showing him how to properly hold it.

“So this first part isn’t live?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to make everyone wait two hours. I usually take live-streams and create highlight videos,” I began to pull the items out of Duff’s cloth bag.

I looked over to see Duff fiddling with the second camera and eventually turning it on. Out of the corner of my eye I then watched as he turned on the second one. Maybe he wasn’t as unfamiliar with cameras as I expected him to be.

I then felt him wrap his arms around my waist.

“Hey...Duff,” I could feel my heart rate about to explode through my chest. I’ve had sex with him before, why was I nervous around him? Why the hell was him being so close to me making my stomach become an Olympic gymnast?

“Don’t mind me, I’m just turning on your mic,” and with that I hear a faint click from a small switch that turned my mic on. He then clapped once and went to pick up the second camera.

“I’m ready when you are,” I could feel my cheeks turning red as he spoke. His damn smirk never leaving his stupid face. He knew what he was doing.

“Alright, welcome to another cooking with Alanah and Sandy, but this time there is no Sandy so we will see what happens! My current goal is to not burn the food,” before I could continue Duff’s laughter echoed through my apartment.

“What? Also cameramen should be quiet!” I teased back pointing at the camera, only making his laugh harder.

“Alanah, babe, I’ve seen your previous cooking videos and I think your goal should be to not burn down your apartment,” I froze as I tried to make out what he said between laughing.

Babe?

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t get rid of the smile that had grown on my face.

“Alright so tonight we are making teriyaki salmon! The first step is to create the marinate!” I pulled out the cooking instructions I had made Duff write before he came over.

“Alright so for the sweet chili sauce we will combine water, white vinegar, cornstach, garlic clove, and.......maple syrup,” I looked over at Duff as I read the last ingredient.

“Are you messing with me Duff?” His laughter filled the room once again and I couldn’t help but join him. His laugh was contagious.

“If I was messing with you I would have either been more subtle or more outlandish,” I watched as he placed the camera on my mini tripod infornt of the bowls I had setup for mixing.

We spent the next thirty minutes preparing the sauce together, and I loved every second of it.

“And now we wait for two hours while the salmon soaks,” Duff said into the camera before smirking at me. He was good in front of a camera and he knew it.

“So now we have two hours,” I finished turning off the cameras and my mic as he spoke.

“Do you have anything in mind in how to spend the time?” This time I couldn’t help but let a smirk wander into my face.

Without hesitation, Duff pulled me in and we began to kiss as he dragged me to my bedroom.

[bnhascribbles]

Compelling

Hawks x Civilian!Reader

Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Words: 2.3K

Warnings: Swearing

Against your better judgment, you grab your rumbling cell phone from your pocket. When an unfamiliar name flashes across the screen, you sigh and stomp over to the couch, wedging the device between two cushions. You make a mental note to have your number changed.  Again. You don’t even know why you bothered leaving it on anymore. For the past week, it’d been nothing but vultures calling in–gossip-mongers and entertainment journalists trying to make you into their next big story. They didn’t want information. Not really. They wanted a misstep–wanted you to say something incendiary that they could put in print and monetize. Even though they apparently already had all the ammunition they needed to rake in the views, given the headline that’d been circulating across every entertainment outlet for the past 48 hours.

Snatched up! The Winged-Hero is finally spoken for, but is it attraction, or indoctrination?

The attention wasn’t completely unexpected; Beyond hero work and agency stuff, Hawks was a celebrity–society’s darling. You, on the other hand, were a mystery, some unknown face that’d been spotted shoulder-to-shoulder with him at a charity ball. Then again at a modeling gig of his. Then again in photos he’d posted across a few of his social media profiles. As far as the public was concerned, you were just some no-name that’d laid your claim over their most eligible bachelor. 

Still, that didn’t mean you appreciated the (not-so-subtle) jab at your quirk’s less-than-wholesome reputation. Your registration form–probably slid under a news station door by an old employer looking to make a quick buck–didn’t really do you any favors. “Indoctrinate” was a quirk that just sounded like it should belong to a villain. That, coupled with the newfound target on your back, had been enough to instill this idea that you were some sort of evil mastermind, extorting a poor, love-stricken hero for everything he had. Forget the fact that you absolutely loathed being in the public eye. Forget the fact that you’d been an upstanding citizen your entire life, without so much as a parking ticket to mar your perfect record. Forget the fact that Hawks had been the one to dial up the charm after he’d, quite literally, knocked you head-over-heels as he flew after a purse-snatcher (“Man, what are the chances I bump into an angel this close to the ground?”). Even so, addressing the rumors would be even worse than letting people talk. It’d draw more attention to the issue; What might’ve died down in a couple weeks could be drawn out over the course of months if it was handled badly. 

It wasn’t easy hearing everyone talk about how you were manipulating your way into a relationship. The more that people speculated and hypothesized–the more they tried to explain your own quirk as though they were experts on the subject–the easier it began for old scars to burn like new. Gashes ripped wide open by what if’s and maybe’s. 

“Do you think it’s possible for a person to use their quirk without knowing it?” You wonder out loud, throwing yourself back onto the couch. “Like, Endeavor–does he have to think about turning off his flames? Is there a default setting, or is it like a light switch that he has to flick on and off?” 

Hawks freezes in the doorway, his arm only halfway freed from the sleeve of his jacket. “Uhhh, 42?” He scratches at the back of his head, obviously caught off guard by the spur-of-the-moment interrogation. “Shit, is there a test I was supposed to study for?” 

You stretch your back across the armrest, shooting him a pathetic, upside-down smile. “No. Sorry, I’ve just been wondering about a lot of stuff lately.” 

“Thank god.” He shrugs off the rest of his jacket. “But ‘stuff.’ Should that word scare me, chickadee? 

“Nah. I’m just overthinking things, as usual.” Not the entire truth, but not a complete lie either. 

The answer seems to satisfy Hawks though. He hums a little tune as he strides across your living room, plopping down beside you on the couch. Before you even know what’s happening, you’re being dragged by your ankles, then your waist–lifted and twirled until your back is flush with his chest, until you’re trapped in the circle of his arms. You twist in his grip, catching his chin between your fingers just as he’s about to lean in and press his lips to yours. 

“Enthusiastic, are we?” 

He huffs impatiently at your upturned eyebrows. “It’s been a long day.” He pushes against your hold on his face, closing some of the distance, centimeter by centimeter. “A very, very long day.” 

Smirking, you drape your arms over his shoulders. But when your eyes to flutter shut, an all-too-familiar string of words flash across the inside of your eyelids. You can practically hear the middle-aged gossip columnist reciting them as they appear.

It’s an odd match. So odd, that Heroes Global has to ask the question on everyone’s mind...

You turn your face away at the last moment, earning a cheek full of stubble and a throaty grumble that resonates across your skin. Hawks pulls back, narrowing those brilliant eyes of his–perfect and warm, like melted gold. He looks like he’s about to say something, but then there’s a buzz that makes him jump. Unfurling one arm (and only one arm) from your waist, he reaches beneath the two of you and fidgets around until a hand reemerges with your phone, flashing with an unlisted number. 

“Please just hurl it at the wall as hard as you can.” You groan, leaning back into his shoulder. 

His gaze flits between you and the screen, then a crooked, knowing grin stretches across his face. “The lovely people over at Daily Justice still bothering you?” 

“Yup. Them and every other tabloid in the city.” 

He makes a tiny sound in acknowledgment, using his thumb to tap away at the device in his hand. “Still milking the whole brainwashing story?” 

“You know it.” You drone halfheartedly, watching as he tosses your (now silent) phone so that it skids across the coffee table. You’re not the least bit bothered when it slides off the other end and makes the plummet to the carpet. Judging by the lazy way he just watches it happen, Hawks doesn’t think much of it either. 

“And that’s the ‘stuff’ that’s got you all worked up?” He asks. 

 You don’t have an answer, so you sigh, long and heavy.

It was a little more complicated than news stories and gossip. It was fear; There was a reason you’d worn gloves throughout your entire childhood. When a touch was all it took to compel, that was the best way to try and lessen the rumors, to soothe the distrustful glares. Your quirk was evil–that much had been drilled into you since your birth. The day your parents made you remove those thin fabric shields, you’d cried. Not because you were happy to be rid of them–no, you were terrified. Maybe you’d brush fingers with a classmate. Maybe, when that happened, you’d make the mistake of thinking about how you wanted to be friends with them. Maybe then, they’d be indoctrinated–compelled to see you the way you wanted to be seen and not the way you actually were. 

It’d taken a long time for you to stop shying away from casual contact with the people in your life–high-fives, handshakes, hugs. Even then, a couple more years had to pass before you gained the confidence to roll your eyes at the quirk-conspiracists, to brush their theories off as ridiculous. Now, hearing about how unlikely your match with Hawks was, having the idea that it was completely insane drilled into your head at all hours of the day, it was like you were an insecure little kid all over again. What if you didn’t have as much control as you thought you did? 

You swivel in your lover’s arms, planting your knees firmly on either side of his lap. He raises an eyebrow, a little worried by your downturned lips. 

“I want to look at you.” You explain, allowing yourself to settle back into his lap a little bit. “Just sit there and don’t say anything for a minute.” 

“You know I’m no good at that, angel. Wanna tell me w–” 

You cut him off by pressing a finger to his lips. “Try. Please.” 

His hold on your middle tightens, but he nods all the same. 

You let your hand drift away from his mouth, tracing its way up the side of his face and brushing a tuft of blonde hair away from his forehead. It sticks up, wild and windswept, even after your best efforts to smooth it down. You deliberately drag both of your hands along his scalp, trying your best not to yank at the fluffy strands that get stuck between your fingers.  Off, you chant in your mind. He doesn’t flinch, watching you, idly pinching at loose bits of your shirt that bunch up along your back. 

You work your way downwards, drawing a straight line between his furrowed eyebrows. He goes cross-eyed trying to follow the trail of your fingers, and you snort, smiling despite yourself. Hawks always had a way of making you do that. You ghost your thumbs over the harsh markings jutting out at the corners of his eyes.  Stop; The word rings in your ears as you concentrate on your fingertips. You’re relieved when nothing happens, when no cloudy haze passes from his face and when no sudden epiphany makes him yank himself away from you. 

You breathe, bending forward, pressing your forehead to his and repeating your final, silent plea.  Please be real.  A trill rumbles deep in his throat, faint and content and coaxing all at once. One of his palms slides a winding path up your back, coming to cup the back your neck. 

“You got your minute.” He coos, looking at you with an expression that you can only describe as soft. “Wanna tell me what’s up?” 

 “It’s just–” You start, but rethink the words halfway through. “I’m not–” You stumble again. What you wanted to say didn’t exactly sound sane.

Hey listen, I’ve got a lot of baggage when it comes to my quirk. Could you repeat the word “yes” if you’re here of your own free will? Oh, and since you’ll probably say that either way and since I’m an emotionally compromised freak, just know that I’ll never actually feel secure in our relationship. This’ll definitely be a recurring thing, and it’s probably gonna be the reason why we end terribly.

You shake your head, pulling away from him to wipe at your eyes. They’re dry, but they feel like they’re burning. 

“You know about my quirk.” You finally say, not quite as firmly as you’d hoped to. “Which means you know that those reporters might have a point. That’s what’s bothering me.” 

He stares for what feels like hours, like he’s waiting for some punchline. When it never comes, he cocks his jaw to the side, speaking slowly. “You being serious?” 

“Yeah, I am.” You don’t hesitate to respond. “I’m not like you–I never got any sort of special training. What if there’s some unconscious kickback from my quirk? What if I had some sort of fantasy about getting with a hero, and then you came along and poof?” You swallow hard. “What if everything you’re thinking and feeling is fake–what if it’s only there because I put it there?” 

Your rant is draining–you barely stop to breathe between sentences. By the time you finish, you’re out of breath and your mouth feels incredibly dry. Still, the silence that follows is enough to make you wish you had more to say. 

Thankfully, Hawks shatters it. “Then honestly, I’m impressed.” He shifts beneath you, poking at the edge of your frown with his fingertip. “You should be working for me.”

Irritated, you swat at his wrist. “I’m not joking around here, Hawks.”

“And I’m not either. From an agency perspective, you’re a dream. You have a quirk with no restrictions. No time limit, no radius of effect,” he scratches at his chin, his smirk reemerging. “Plus, it apparently works at all hours of the day–even when its owner is sleeping. Or piss drunk.” 

And just like that, it happens again–he makes you smile despite the thousands of worries you have. 

You let your jaw hang in mock offense. “I do not get drunk.” 

“Right, you were just high on life Friday when I flew your ass home.” He shoots back, catching your wrist as you’re about to land a playful smack across his chest. 

“But that’s not the point. The point is that there’s never a time when I don’t want you. Now, that could be because you have some fantastic, broken quirk. Or it could be because–get ready for the shocker–I genuinely like you.” He comes in close, tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear. “Which option seems more likely?” 

Every part of you seems to relax. Even your brain, once overwhelmed by thousands of thoughts and possibilities, goes silent–put at ease by Hawks’s own personal brand of logic.  

 Taking both sides of his face in your hands, you smoosh his cheeks together until his lips jut outward. He looks more like a fish than a bird, even with the wings to help him out. 

“You talk a lot.” 

He grins wide, and it looks absolutely ridiculous.  “So I’ve been told.” 

“Don’t look happy about it; That mouth of yours is gonna get you into serious trouble someday. 

“Really? I think it’s charming.” 

“Mmmm, that ego could use some work too.” You release your hold on him, shimmying in closer, pressing your chest into his. “How about you do me a favor and zip it for a little while.” 

He peers at you through half-lidded eyes. The kiss he presses to your nose is innocent–short and sweet and unassuming. The words that follow are anything but. 

“Make me.” 

So you do.  You’re pretty compelling, even without using your quirk.

[zanybohbot]

The Outsiders: Squit's Sh*ttiest Birthday Ever!

The Outsiders: Squit's Sh*ttiest Birthday Ever! (Episode 6)

Published: 11-04-19 - Updated: 11-08-19

It's Squit's 29th birthday and he is planning a dinner party but it clashes with a more popular bash so that his only guests are Pinky, Brain, Wakko, Pesto and Brain's exchange neighbour Patrice. This is the 6th fanfic episode of The Outsiders. Thx. Rated R for Strong Language/Mature Themes/Sexual Language.

Part 1: About Squit's Girlfriend

(The main 5 are at Squit's house with Patrice, a 22 year-old French exchange neighbour. Squit is using his computer.)

Brain: [about the French exchange neighbour] I dunno, he seems a bit weird. He asked me if I've tried the "Sleeping Beauty?"

Wakko: Oh, it's so awesome.

Brain: What, you know it?

Wakko: Yeah, you sit on your arm 'til your hand goes dead. 10-15 minutes is normally enough. And then when you jerk off, it feels like someone else is doing it.

Brain: How do you know these things?

Pinky: Oh, everyone knows the Sleeping Beauty; that's so 1984.

Brain: Is it?

Pinky: Fuck yeah, my cousin's brother invented it. He and his bros used to be called The Dead Hand Gang.

Squit: They had a gang based on masturbation? Oh there's nothing gay about that.

Pinky: Yeah, well he's in the Air Force now, so how gay's that?

Squit: Still quite gay. (Charlotte's online on Skype) Oh, shit, Charlotte's online.

Wakko: You asked her along yet?

Squit: No. I don't know if I should.

Brain: Go on, it'll be great.

Squit: Really, do you think so?

Brain: Yeah, it's cool, just say, "Hi".

Squit: (finished typing) Done it. Oh, wow, she's come straight back. She says, "Hi, whassup". Smiley face.

Pinky: Now, ask her the fuck out!

Squit: No, can't just jump in, not the way things have been with us.

Brain: At least have to charm her a bit first.

Squit: (finished typing) I've written "Just hanging out with Brain and his French exchange". Okay, another smiley face. Can't bring myself to send a smiley back, but I could write "lol" if I absolutely had to.

Pinky: Do that. That'll be dope as hell!

Squit: "LOL! Anyway, it's my birthday. Come for dinner, please?" (silence) That pause isn't good.

Pesto: Calm down, it's only been a second, dummy!

(Another short silence)

(Charlotte's offline)

Squit: (annoyed) Oh, for Christ's sake! She's gone offline rather than answer whether or not she'll come to my birthday?!

Wakko: Maybe the connection dropped?

Squit: Nope, it was back and forward, back and forward. Then a question about dinner and she's gone.

Pinky: Look, she didn't say, "No" did she?

Squit: No. But she did hang up.

Brain: C'mon. I'm sure she'll be there.

Squit: Well, not sure, but y'know.

Anya: (came downstairs) Oh, hello, Brain.

Brain: Hey, An.

Patrice: Bonjour.

Anya: (giggled) Oh, my goodness, you're French.

Brain: This is Patrice, he's my sort of French exchange neighbour. Patrice, this is Squit's sis.

Anya: Hello. Well, I'm just gonna play tennis. Ha, don't know why I mentioned that. Bye.

Brain: See ya.

Squit: Thanks, bye!

Wakko: See ya lata.

Pinky: Peace.

Anya: Au revoir, Patrice.

Patrice: Au revoir. (She leaves the house.) Your sister is very ze sexy.

Squit: Uhhh...what?

Patrice: She has ze sex. (walks away awkwardly)

Pinky: Well, damn! He's a strange one. Fuck me, right?

Wakko: But he's French, they're sometimes weird?

Squit: Oh, god, please don't be racist.

Wakko: How's that racist, I'm just saying that he barely says anything and when he does speak it's always about sex. Just like all French people.

(Squit N/R: The next day was my birthday. Whilst I was making my final preparations, including putting on shit music girls would like, Patrice had been busy too.)

Patrice: I just had a really nice, er tug, thinking about your mother. I think some went on the floor. Sorry. (Shows Squit the liquid on his red sofa.)

Squit: (sarcastically/disgusted) Great, thanks, Patrice. (The door rang) I'll get it. It could be Charlotte. (He opens to see Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko instead of Charlotte)

Pinky: Yo, bender. (Drinking Red Bull)

Squit: (looking unimpressed) Oh.

(Squit N/R: Happy birthday to me. It was 8.30pm on my 29th birthday in July 19th 2006, and my party was in full swing.)

Brain: Where's your plus one anyways, Pinky?

Pinky: Not coming. She got a modelling job, had to fly to Paris. Barmaid by day, supermodel by night.

Squit: (sarcastically) Sounds likely.

Pinky: Where's Little Miss Stuck-up Cock-tease?

Brain: Do you mean Billie?

Pinky: Uhhh...yeah. Duh.

Brain: I don't think Billie will make it.

Pesto: Why not?

Wakko: Is something up?

Brain: No, it's nothing like that. I just sort of didn't invite her in the end.

Pinky: Wow. You really are a pussy, why am I not surprised?!

Brain: Hey, at least I tried!

Squit: (slightly annoyed) So lemme get this straight, there are gonna be no women here then? None at all? I don't know why I bother.

Pinky: Well, I wouldn't say there will be no women.

Pesto: Yeah, not no women!

Squit: (confused) Wait. So there are some women coming?

Wakko: Maybe, maybe not.

(Pinky, Wakko and Pesto are smirking as their mischievous.)

Squit: (still not looking unimpressed) Look, it's very clear from your smirking faces and tone of voice that actually there are some women coming.

Pinky: We got you a special birthday treat.

Squit: Did you?

Wakko: (takes a deep breath) STRIPPER!

Squit: What?!

Wakko: Yup. (laughs)

Squit: Have you really bought a stripper?!

Pinky: Relax, she was only $5 million!

Squit: How have you paid for that?!

Wakko: We haven't yet, we'll just have a whip round when she gets here.

Brain: A whip round?! We don't have $1 million each!

Pinky: Nah, it's...oh...shit, you are absolutely right about dat, my paycheck doesn't come out till tomorrow at noon. Sorry, bruh.

Squit: (sarcastically) Great, so until a $5 million angry lap dancer turns up, we are without female company. Gee, thank you very much for my 29th birthday, I really appreciate it a lot.

Pinky: Okay fine, if ya gonna be savage about it, I will pick some girls up from outside.

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, please! Pick me up some random girls from the street for me.

Brain: Or, we can go to Buster's party, it's happening right now.

Wakko: Yeah.

Pesto: As a matter of fact, why aren't we there in the first place? It will be much better than this shit joint.

Squit: (sarcastically) Why thank you very much for that remark right there. (grabs a bottle of wine) More wine!?

Pinky: Ohhh...I bet it reeks of ass in there.

Squit: Ohhh...and I bet it's not.

Pinky: Yes, it is.

Squit: No, it's not!

Pinky: Is!

Squit: Not!

Pinky: Is!

Squit: (getting angry) Not!

Pinky: Well, I don't see why NOT! (furious)

Wakko: Guys, please. Calm down.

Squit: Look, I put a lot of effort into this! I made a really nice coq au vin...

Pinky: Cock of WAT?! (laughs)

Pesto: Bruh...your fuckin' high.

Brain: You don't help yourself, do you?

Squit: Oh yeah, I see, 'coq' au vin, very mature! It actually means chicken in wine, doesn't it, Patrice?

Patrice: Quoi?

Squit: Well, it does, and it doesn't mean cock up my ass, or cock on my head, or...

Pesto: ...you got some cock in the back of a van.

Squit: Or that I got some cock in the back of a van! Look, all I wanted was a nice, civilised and sophisticated birthday party. Like we did back in 1993, when we first began out acting career back at Warner Bros. Just something a little different from the usual parties - maybe even the sort of party that girls are impressed by! OK, so there aren't any girls here, but why don't we at least attempt to have a sophisticated conversation? We are in the 20s and were not teenagers anymore. I know it's a tall order, and I'm not expecting sparkling, but let's give it a go, eh, fellas, since it is my FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

[everyone sits in chastened silence for a while. Then...]

Wakko: How much Lego can you stuff up your ass?

Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!

Wakko: No not now, like when you were younger, how much did you get up there?

Pinky: Your fuckin' high.

Brain: Why were sticking Lego up your rear end?

Wakko: Not much, just rectangular ones. Unless, you wanna come to my house and prove it.

Squit: (stands up) FINE! Fine! Let's go to Buster Bunny's house!

Pesto: FUCK YEAH!

Brain: (whispers to Squit) Are you sure?

Squit: Oh, please. It's the last thing I wanted to do. She's not coming, is she? And a skillful raconteur like Wakko is wasted on just us.

Pinky: Nice one. Now I get a proper three-course meal, hoe, puh and a V!

(They all leave Squit's house.)

Part 2: A Long Journey

(Squit N/R: So we headed into the night, and found Pinky's three courses sitting on a fence.)

Pinky: 'Allo, 'allo. (Points at 3 girls drinking wine on the street) Here they are.

Wakko: Nice.

Brain: I dunno. They look a bit rough. Are they drinking in the street?

Pinky: Dirty. I love it!

Squit: Not quite the sophisticates I had in mind, but at least they're female.

Pesto: I think you should go over, Pinky.

Pinky: Nah, B should.

Brain: What? Why me?

Pinky: Alphabetical. You got that bent look girls go for anyway.

Brain: Fine, if you're gonna be a douche, you go!

Pinky: Sorry for being "a douche"! Look, are ya gonna go or not!?

Pesto: Just go, B, it's freezing out here.

Squit: Come on, Brain. For me? For my birthday? Remember?!

Brain: (sigh) God, fine. (He comes up to the girls) Hi, there.

Girl 1: What ya fuckin' say!?

Brain: Uhhh...hello.

Girl 1: And what?

Brain: Uhhh...I wanted to ask you to a party?

Girl 1: I'm 13.

Brain: (in shock) Oh, sorry. I didn't know.

Girl 2: And I'm 11, you scum.

Brain: Yep, there's been a mistake, so...

Girl 1: Like looking at little girls, do ya?

Girl 2: Like getting 'em to parties where you can touch 'em, do ya?

Brain: No, God, no. Look, I'm going now.

Girl 3: Pedo!

Girl 1: You fuckin' pedo!

Girl 2: Yeah, run, you pedo.

(Patrice strokes his dick right in front of them.)

Brain: What the fuck, Patrice?!

Girl 1: Ewww! I'm gonna get my fuckin' brother on you!

Girl 3: Motherfucka!

(The others run away.)

Girl 1: That's it, run away, pedo boy!

Girl 2: Keep going, pedo! Keep walking, you fuckin' pedo!

Pinky: (sarcastically) Nice one, Brain.

Brain: Me?! It was fucking Patrice who pissed them off in the first place!

Pinky: You tried to scum them up, scumbag!

Brain: (grabs Pinky's snout with anger) I'm not in the mood for this, just warning you!

Pinky: "Ooh, watch out, Uncle Brain might give me a special bop with his stupid pencil!" Look, you're being awkward as fuck! Girls don't love dat shit!

Brain: (let's go of Pinky) Whatever!

Squit: (reads his text) Oh, fuck.

Pesto: What's for pudding, Squit?

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, I dunno. Just a middle-aged woman demanding $5 million!

(The message from a stripper that says "WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY AND WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!")

Wakko: Oh, shit.

Pinky: What are we gonna do?

Brain: I think we should go.

Squit: (sigh) Yes, fine, I give up. Let's try to get in to Buster Bunny's.

Brain: What about your dinner party?

Squit: Forget it. You can lead a horse to water but can't stop it sticking Lego up its ass.

(Patrice started pissing in the street for no reason.)

Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake, Patrice, don't do that!

Wakko: God, Brain, he's a nightmare! We can't have him scare all the hoes away at the party, let's ditch him.

Brain: I'm looking after him, I can't leave him stranded in a strange country.

Pinky: Well he comes from a strange country!

Squit: Brain, for once, Pinky and Wakko are right. Patrice is weird and boring. Do you really think girls will be impressed when we turn up with that?

(Patrice is still pissing.)

Brain: Okay. Probably not.

Squit: Let's just leg it while his back is turned. It's now or never, B.

Brain: OK, fuck it!

(The others run away from Patrice.)

(Squit N/R: So we ran away. Yep, ran away. Something I hadn't done since John Cook discovered wedgies in 8th grade.)

Wakko: Crap! I've got a stitch wedgie. I need to itch!

Squit: That should be enough.

(Patrice was running from behind.)

Pinky: Fuck! He's behind us!

Wakko: No way!

Squit: Run! He's chasing us!

(Patrice is now next to them still running.)

Wakko: Holy fuck, he doesn't give up easily!

Squit: What does he think is happening?!

Pesto: I think he's caught us up.

Brain: (sarcastically) Yeah, good spot, Pesto.

Patrice: Brain, why we run?

Brain: Uhhh...I don't fuckin' know actually!

Patrice: You don't know?

Brain: Yeah.

Patrice: So we stop?

Brain: Yep, probably. Good idea.

(They stopped running.)

Brain: (sigh) Let's just go to the party.

(They are walking down the street to Buster's house.)

(Squit N/R: So after trying and failing to outrun a boy in Cuban heels, we headed for Buster Bunny's party, which we definitely wouldn't get into.)

Pesto: Who's gonna ask if we can come in, Squit?

Squit: I dunno, why are you asking me?!

Pinky: Outta the way you Kwik Shit Shitters, I'll do it myself!

(BUZZER DOOR OPENS)

Bull Gator: What?

Squit: Hello, Bull Gator. I'm Squit.

Bull Gator: Sorry. You can't come in, there's too many already.

Squit: Look, we'll be no trouble, I promise. I mean, look at us.

Bull Gator: Fine. One of you can come in.

Squit: One, five, there's hardly any difference, perhaps we could negotiate...

Bull Gator: No. (points at Patrice) Him. He can come in. (He lets him in)

Squit: Oh, right, well the thing is, Brain will have to come in, too, he's supposed to be looking after…

(Shuts the door.)

Squit: (sarcastically) Great. So we can add Patrice to the growing list of people more popular than us.

Pesto: DAT'S IT! (As he attacks Squit)

Pinky: (looking through the window) Fucking John's in there! And he's with a girl! He's got his hand on her tit!

Wakko: This is too tragic.

Brain: Holy shit.

Pinky: And Charlotte Big Jugs is in there.

Pesto: (as he finishes beating up Squit, leaving him with a black eye and bruises) Nice! (laughs)

Squit: (pushes Pesto away) Oh, c'mon!

Pinky: Time for Plan B.

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, right, there's a Plan B, is there?! Plan A was so brilliantly devised I wouldn't have thought we'd need a Plan B! What is it?! Climb over a fuckin' fence?!

(The scene cuts to the Buster Bunny's fence near his backyard.)

Squit: I can't believe we're actually doing this!

Pinky: Don't shit yourself. It's only a fence, it won't bite.

Squit: Yes, Pinky, except I'm not worried about it biting, I'm worried about breaking my neck.

Pinky: Come on, it'll be sick, climbing and shit.

Squit: Will it tho? There must be another way.

Pinky: (looks at the backyard) Ah, it's full of puh. Give us a push, Wak.

(They all climb up the fence and jump into the backyard, except for Squit.)

Squit: Guys, c'mon, get a grip! I'm just not made for climbing, y'know? Maybe one of these panels is loose. (he saw a small gap in the fence) There's a gap here! (he gets into the backyard through the gap but struggles.)

Pinky: Jesus, did you even bother to lose weight at all? Just look ya, maybe that's why you're struggling!

Pesto: Come on, Squit. Just hurry up!

Squit: Huh? (He gets dog shit on his sleeve of his white suit) Oh, for Christ's sake!

Wakko: Why's he always gotta be different?

Pinky: Just hurry the fuck up, tubby, everyone's looking!

(Everyone was looking at them as Bull Gator came along.)

Bull Gator: The hell's going on?

Squit: Oh, hi, Bull. (he got out) As I was saying, it's quite important we look after Patrice.

Bull Gator: And you stepped on dog shit?

Squit: Yes, I have. But ask yourself why? That you've excluded us from this party because of some vague rules about popularity is ridiculous. Although it looks like we climbed a fence and crawled through dog shit, what we've done is challenged your social apartheid.

Bull Gator: You weren't invited 'coz you're not on the list.

Squit: That makes sense too, I suppose.

Buster: (he came to the backyard) The hell's going on? (saw Squit, Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko) Guys! Long time so see!

Pinky: Nice to meet ya, bruh!

Buster: Welcome to my party, make yourselves at home! (looks at Bull Gator, angrily) Dude, why didn't you tell me about this?! (leaves)

Bull Gator: I dunno, they weren't on the list! (looks back at the others) God, if you're that desperate then just ask. But take that suit off before you go inside. (leaves)

Squit: Sweet, nice one!

Brain: He's right about the suit tho, it stinks.

Wakko: Oh, bruh, that is rank. It's all up your sleeve, look.

(Squit takes off his suit which it leads to the others laughing at his black vest he was wearing underneath.)

Wakko: Oh, Christ! (laughs)

Pinky: What the fuck is that?! (laughs)

(Pesto laughs hysterically)

Brain: Oh, my God. (holds in the laugher)

Squit: (annoyed) It was a present from my mom, okay!

Brain: And you've worn it?

Pinky: She been getting gift ideas from Pesto's old man?

Pesto: My dad's not bent!

Wakko: Honestly, that's not a good look.

Squit: Well, we've just gatecrashed a party that Big John was invited to, so none of us are winning the cool prize.

Wakko: But you are losing by a mile.

Squit: Hmph. Not for long. I'm gonna find Charlotte.

Pesto: Upstairs getting fucked, most likely.

Squit: Pesto, I've told you she's not like that! (pause) I'll check upstairs first.

(They went inside the house.)

(Squit N/R: The best thing about your birthday is everyone has to do exactly what you want.)

The Final Part: Worst Birthday Ever!

(Squit N/R: With this in mind, I went to find Charlotte.)

Plucky: (mocking Squit) Nice shirt! (laughs)

Max: (mocking Squit) Yeah, good look, briefcase.

Skippy: (mocking Squit) Someone's stolen your sleeves, boy!

Squit: (embarrassed) Yep, nice one.

Little Beeper: (mocking Squit) Where's the rest of N'Sync?

Squit: Retro, but a good one.

(Meanwhile, Pinky and Brain fight about who's using the bathroom first.)

Pinky: C'mon! Let me go first, you know I'm desperate.

Brain: Ha-ha! Unlucky. (shuts the door)

Pinky: Don't be an ass! Seriously, c'mon, bro, I'm bursting!

(Billie came along.)

Billie: Oh, hi, Pinky, are you waiting?

Pinky: Yeah! I might piss my pants any minute now.

Billie: Oh.

Pinky: Won't be too long tho!

Billie: Oh, right. I didn't know you were friends with Buster.

Pinky: Oh, no! We climbed over a fence.

(Billie looking confused)

Brain: (comes out of the bathroom as Pinky went in) Billie, hi.

Billie: Hi, Brain, how are you?

Brain: Good, you?

Billie: Yeah, pretty awesome.

Pinky: (comes out of the bathroom) Jesus Christ, Brain, what the fuck have you done in there?!

Brain: (confused) Uhhh...

Pinky: Have you been eating cat food again?! Oh, God, you've left skid marks down the bowl too! Nasty-ass!

Brain: (embarrassed) Uhhh...Billie, I didn't. I only went in for a piss.

Pinky: Oh, God, I can taste it.

Brain: (angrily) PINKY!

Billie: (disgusted) Okay, I might go upstairs now. (goes upstairs)

Brain: No, don't. I was only peeing. It was only a pee! I promise I didn't leave skid marks! (looks at Pinky, angrily) You fuckin' asshat! Why did you do that?!

Pinky: Your welcome. (Slams the door)

(Squit N/R: OK, so things weren't going exactly to plan. But if I could just find Charlotte, I was confident it would still be a birthday to remember.)

Squit: (he opens the door to see Charlotte in the bedroom) Oh, hi, Charlotte, there you are.

Charlotte: (shocked) Squit!

(Squit N/R: And I was right.)

Squit: (concerned, seeing Charlotte having sex with somebody) Uhhh...the hell's going on?!

Charlotte: Uhhh...please go away!

Squit: Time out, fella! You're not alone now. (he looks under the covers to see who it is, he noticed that it was Patrice) Oh, Patrice Salut.

Patrice: Salut.

Squit: (shocked) Wait. Are you two...?

Charlotte: (slightly annoyed) Seriously, what are you doing?

Squit: I thought we could do it together, y'know.

Charlotte: Squit, I don't know why you're doing this. And what are you wearing?

Squit: I've got a bottle of champagne at home, and I remembered when we first met we had champagne, as it's my birthday I thought maybe...I'm sorry, is he touching you right now?! (saw Patrice touching Charlotte)

Charlotte: Look, maybe we'll have a drink later.

Squit: (slightly upset) Yeah, later, of course. (he was about to leave)

Charlotte: Oh, Squit? Could you turn the light off?

Patrice: No, leave on.

Charlotte: OK. See ya, Squit.

Squit: See ya. (shuts the door)

(Squit N/R: Great. And I'd rather hoped the singlet was the worst birthday surprise. Meanwhile, my friends were making the most of finally gettin' into a cool party, by standing in a corridor, not talking to anyone, doing jack-shit.)

(Squit goes downstairs to see the others.)

Brain: Did you find Charlotte?

Squit: (upset) Um, yeah. Yeah, I did. Upstairs being fucked by Patrice!

Pesto: HA! Knew it.

Wakko: Ooh, unlucky!

Squit: Can you make him stop, please, Brain? As a birthday present?

Brain: Sorry, but no means no. That's just too weird.

Squit: Yeah, you're probably right. Let's just go home.

(Squit bumps into Newt.)

Squit: Oh, hi, Newt, I'm just going but if you were looking for Charlotte, I think she's upstairs.

Newt: (angrily) Fuck off, you prick!

Squit: (nervous) Thanks. Have a fun night!

(They all leave the party and walked down the street at night.)

(Squit N/R: So, ironically, it was Newt who gave me the best gift this year, a savagely beaten French perverted sicko.)

Brain: Holy shit! What if Newt kills him?

Squit: (annoyed) Good!

Brain: His parents will go satan on Newt's ass tho if Patrice is injured!

Pesto: (laughs evilly) Nice!

Pinky: Well, fuck 'em anyway, you'll never see him again, so what!

Brain: I meant to drop him off back at Paris and I...

Squit: (getting angry) I'm sorry, do you wanna go to France?

Brain: What? No!

Squit: Well then shut the fuck up! What about me, huh?! It's my birthday and I saw Patrice trying to mount Charlotte! The fucking baguette-eating dickhead frog!

Brain: Jesus Christ, dude. That's a bit racist.

Squit: Well he made me racist! He was racist back when he said he hates Irish-Americans, I mean c'mon, what did we do to you!?

Wakko: Did you get to see her boobies tho?

Squit: No, Wakko!

Wakko: (in disbelief) Ahhh...y'suck. Why am I not surprised?

Squit: Oh God, what if my birthdays just get worse and worse from now on?! What'll happen next year?!

Pinky: You get AIDS and die at the age of 30?

Squit: I'd have to have sex for that to happen.

Wakko: Or fuck a monkey?

Squit: Technically, that still counts as sex.

Brain: Or drink from the same cup as Pesto's dad.

Pesto: Fuck you, my dad does not have AIDS!

Pinky: Son, your dad is so AIDS, he's the one who gave it to your siblings!

Pesto: (furious) You take that back!

Pinky: That's what your siblings said to 'em. NARF!

Wakko: C'mon, bro, let's get back to yours. I'll let you beat me at Pro Evo.

Squit: Thanks, I just hope this night couldn't get worse than this.

Girl 1: (from the distance) That's them!

Newt: (from the distance, furious) What did ya say to my fuckin' sister, you fuckin scum!?

Girl 2: (from the distance) Fucking pedos!

(Newt and the girls started chasing them.)

Squit: RUN!

Pinky: Again?

Brain: Oh, shit!

(They started running as Newt and the 3 girls are still chasing them.)

Wakko: Split up, he can't get us all!

Pinky: He's got a fucking cricket bat! See ya around, bitches! (hides behind the car)

Brain: (pushing Pesto away) Pesto, go away!

Pesto: (pushes Brain back) Ayy, coo off!

Squit: This is the tin hat. Worst birthday ever!

(Squit N/R: So my birthday, or dog shit (Bull Gator: And you stepped on dog shit?), singlet, heartbreak day, as I've come to think of it, was over. It's fair to say it hadn't been the best. But I had learnt one important life lesson. If you go around to Wakko's, don't play with his Lego. EVER! (Wakko: How much Lego can you stuff up your ass?/Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!)

THE END!

I hope you enjoyed the 6th episode of The Outsiders. Thx. See ya lata! Peace! ;)

[afterspark-podcast]

Let’s Play Transformers War for Cybertron, Chapter 2 Transcript

Episode

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Intro Music]

O: Hi guys!  Welcome back to our Let's Play of War for Cybertron.  We're gonna be doing Chapter 2 today, and playing as the Jets.  I’m gonna take Starscream cuz he's got a sniper rifle.  (This is literally the only reason.)

S: [snickers]

O: If you remember, last time, uh, Megatron went full crackhead on us and was trying to get Dark Energon to snort- I mean to take over Cybertron.  And was basically arguing with a giant holographic [hologram] Starscream the entire time, and then at the end Starscream's like, [screechy voice] “Teach me how to control Dark Energon it'll work for you!” [normal voice] Um, so now we're being Megatron's bitch.

S: Pretty much.

O: Does that pretty much sum it up?

S: Yeah… yeah.

C: I mean, speak for yourself, uhhh…

O: [laughs]

C: Yes, master.

O: You’re just like, Skywarp- Skywarp, is nobody's bitch, thank you!  [laugh] Um, Specs is gonna be doing Thundercracker and Chezni is gonna be doing Skywarp, sooo…

C: That sounds like a drug.

O: [laughs] Uh, yeah, so Chezni's gonna be doing the Bojack?

A: [laugh]

O: I can’t remember what the chapter’s called... we are in Chapter 2, Fuel of War.  Uh, so, we ready to start then?

C: Oh yeah.

S: Sure.

[OS: Character selection screen.  Characters are assigned as follows:

Chezni - Skywarp

Specspectacle - Thundercracker

Twilight-Owls - Starscream]

O: The cool thing about the jets is we can fly!  This is the only good thing I have to say about this.

[OS: Owls selects “Start Game.”]

C: Now it really sounds like a drug.

O: [laughs] With Thundercracker, you too can fly!

C: [laughs]

[The game starts and the volume jumps for the players.]

O: [muted] Oh, dammit, I know it’s coming!

[A cinematic opens with a text crawl being narrated by Steve Blum.

Narrator: Anxious to prove themselves worthy of the Decepticon name, Starscream and his minions fly to Cybertron.

The screen flickers slightly.]

C: Woah.

[Narrator: There, they must reconnect the energon bridge that will enable Megatron to manufacture more Dark Energon and conquer the Autobots once and for all.]

O: Space crack.  And conquer Optimus Prime once and for all- got it, got it, got it, I’m tracking.

[OS: The game swaps to gameplay and the volume spikes again.]

O: [muted]  Noooo, dammit.

[(COM) Megatron: Your orders are clear Starscream!  Infiltrate the Cybertron underground and reactivate the Energon Bridge.  I want that power online!

OS: All three seekers fly down into an enclosed area, and shoot missiles at a giant fan to gain access to another underground area on Cybertron.  The area they enter has various metal platforms rising out of what looks to be a sea of blue energon in the bottom of the area.

The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the Hidden Underground Entrance.”

Starscream: Megatron, Thundercracker has detected several Autobots up ahead.  Jetfire must have warned Zeta Prime and moved to intercept us already!

(COM) Megatron: Enough of your whining!  If the Autobots try to stop you, crush them!  Report back to me when you have found the Bridge.  Megatron out!]

S: Oh.  Yay.  I get to fly, don’t I?

[SS: Thundercracker rocks slightly back and forth in jet mode.]

O: Yup!

C: Yeahhhh.

O: Don’t- don’t uh, touch that blue stuff, you will explode if I remember properly?

[Starscream: That imbecile thinks I’m expendable.  ME!?  He’ll soon learn to never underestimate Starscream!

OS: Starscream looks down at the blue energon visible on the floor of the level, and then uses his thrusters to continue on ahead.]

S: Blue stuff, uhhh?

O: On the bottom there.

C: The ocean below us.

O: Maybe I’m wrong.

S: Ahh.  Okie dokie.

C: Maybe- maybe she's wrong Thundercracker, go try it!

S: [laughs] No, thank you!

C: [high pitched voice] Come on Thundercracker!

[CS: Thundercracker and Skywarp are still back at the beginning of the level, flying around slowly trying to get their bearings.]

O: So- my damn headphones cut out again.

S: Ohh.

C: Are they not working?

O: I can hear you guys it's just it's really, really annoying cuz it's only in one ear.

C: Okay.  Well, if we ever need to solve puzzles using stereo we'll let you know.

O: [laughs] Hey, I didn't say we needed it for recording, I said it's annoying.  Now catch up with me, will you?

C: I don't know how to do this!

O: You’re just a jet!

[SS: Thundercracker continues moving slowly forward.  Starscream turns around and comes towards the other players before using his thrusters to speed off again.]

S: How do you go fast?

O: Well, um-

C: If you hold right- right-click, you move super fast.

S: OH.

[SS: Starscream disappears off into the distance, Skywarp activates his thrusters and proceeds to fly around erratically, and Thundercracker follows shortly afterwards.]

C: Yeah, I know, I wish I would have known that when we were doing Escalation [game mode].

S: I’m good at-

O: [quietly] Oh, this is not the right way.

[OS: Starscream flies into a dead end and turns around to go back the direction he came.]

S: Where are we supposed to go?

O: Over here.

[OS: Starscream heads towards a doorway, transforming and landing on the platform.  Some sort of round machine detaches itself from the wall up ahead.

Skywarp: What is THAT?

Thundercracker: An Autobot probe.  We should avoid it to prevent detection.]

C: Can I shoot it?

[Starscream: Like that puny probe could stop me.  Blast them and get on with it!

CS: Skywarp flies forward in jet mode and shoots the probe, destroying it.]

C: Ha!  What do they mean, ‘avoid it’?

S: Ahh!

[CS: Thundercracker flies by, bouncing off the floor.]

C: You can just blow it up!

S: -up!

O: Sorry guys, once sec. [Owls makes another attempt to get her headphones working.]

C: Sure, let’s take a quick pause.

[SS: All the jets stop, and Thundercracker begins looking around at their surroundings.]

O: You like, cut in.

C: Let's have storytime!  Thundercracker, tell Skywarp a story!

O & S: [laugh]

S: Life is short, and then you die!

C: Holy crap!

A: [laugh]

O: Okay-

C: But we're late millions of years old, built from naturally-occurring gears and levers!

O & S: [laugh]

O: And naturally-occurring thrusters, apparently.  Anyway, let's go, I'm just gonna have to live with this.  That’s annoying.

[SS: Everyone begins moving forward again.]

C: And naturally occur- occurring combustible fuel sources.

S: Ah!

[OS: Starscream flies ahead, and a drone begins draining his health with a blue beam.  Shortly after, it is destroyed by Thundercracker.]

O: Thank you.  Far more polite than Starscream would ever be, but that's fine.

[CS: Skywarp is being targeted by another drone.]

C: Ah!  Ah!  This one’s draining my brain!

O: Where are you?

[Thundercracker: I have never traveled this deeply into Cybertron’s interior before.

Skywarp: [groans] You are as boring as ever, Thundercracker.]

C: Half dead.

[SS: Thundercracker moves slowly ahead leaving the other two behind.  The location marker for their next objective is ticking done off to the right of the screen.]

S: Oh, I think we’re supposed- I think we’re working on a timer?

O: Uh, I don’t think so.

[OS: Starscream takes out the last of the drones.]

S: Ohh~

O: That’s not a timer, that's how close we are to a thing.

S: Oh.

[OS: Starscream flies towards the opening the other two Seekers have disappeared through but transforms before he actually reaches the platform, falling down.]

O: Oh no!  Okay, that was dumb.

[OS: Starscream lands on some convenient pipes and transforms back into jet mode.]

S: Shit, was I not supposed to do the thing I did?

O: I don't know, I'm not there yet!

[SS: Skywarp is standing on a platform off to the left shooting at some moving pods on the other side of the large room he and Thundercracker are in.  The pods are being moved up a wall and into a large door that is opening and closing.]

C: Huh.

S: Or are we supposed to go in there?

C: I have no clue.  Let's do it!

S: [laughs]

[CS: Skywarp jumps up and transforms, attempting to enter while the door is open, but is stopped by an invisible wall.

Skywarp: Hey!  I don’t make a habit out of blowing you up!]

C: Oh nope, apparently that's bad.

[OS: Starscream flies upwards in a jerky motion.]

C: It really bothers me that there's not just like a, ‘fly up’ button.

Note: There is- we just didn’t realize it.  It’s a bit more obvious in Fall of Cybertron, but it is the same button in both games.

O: Right?  It's very annoying.

[OS: Starscream transforms and lands in a hallway, walking over to the nearby door panel and activating it.]

S: Yeah.

S: I'm just gonna be a plane.

A: [laughs]

[SS: The door opens, revealing an Autobot who fires on the party.

Autobot: Decepticons!

The Autobot runs off camera, leaving the Seekers in front of some sort of laser grid that is keeping them from advancing.

Starscream: What is this?  Some kind of Autobot trap?

Thundercracker: It’s an enemy detection barrier.

Skywarp: So it’s a trap!]

O: [snorts]

[CS: Starscream moves back and forth in front of the barrier and Skywarp and Thundercracker fire on the edges of the barrier.]

O: [quietly] Alright… how do we get around this?

[Thundercracker: The power conduits along the floors should direct us to its power source.]

O: I got stuck here last time and then felt like a dummy.

[OS: Skywarp transforms and shoots a glowing spot on the wall the power conduit was leading to, deactivating the barrier.

Starscream: Stupid Autobots.  To think their measly tricks could ever fool Starscream.]

S: Oh, how did you…?

O: He shot something.

C: I just shot- I just shot where the power conduit went.

O: Yeah.

S: Oh.

C: It was this big thing with all-

O: You know, the smart thing.

[SS: Skywarp walks over to the destroyed power conduit, and as he walks away Thundercracker shoots at it.]

C: [laughs]

[Thundercracker: The power core has to be somewhere in this room.]

C: Alright Starscream, what's our mission?

O: Ugh, to kill my headphones with a greasy spoon.

[OS: Starscream walks up to another barrier and uses the scope of his Null Ray to get a better view at the room on the other side.]

O: Uh… we need to kill the power conduit.

S: Oh-

C: Do more power conduit stuff-

[OS: Skywarp shoots at the doorframe in jet mode and Starscream walks away, seeing an open area off to the right that Thundercracker is floating in front of.]

S: Uh…

O: Or maybe we go over here?  Can’t remember.

[OS: Starscream transforms and flies through a narrow hallway, over the same blue energon substance as before.]

C: I don’t know.

[OS: Starscream navigates the narrower hallway and lands on in front of another barrier on the platform at the end.  He transforms and shoots the power conduit visible on the other side, deactivating the barrier.]

O: Aha!

[Starscream: Pathetic machinery.]

O: [snorts]

[SS: Thundercracker follows behind a running Starscream, while still in jet mode.]

O: [laughs] I'm sorry, I just love you guys following along as jets, it's hilarious.

S: [laughs]

[SS: The group exits the hallway into a small room with a health box and an ammo box off to the left.]

O: Uh, who needs health?

S: Uh, I need ammo?

O: Go ahead and take it.

C: I have two things of health.

S: Oh-

C: I’m gonna grab it.

S: Someone take health.

[CS: Thundercracker takes the ammo, and Skywarp grabs the ammo.  They both move over to the ledge Starscream is standing on.  Below, there is a group of 4 Autobots standing next to each other with their backs to the party, listening to a large Zeta Prime hologram in the middle of the room.

Zeta Prime: Autobots, this is Zeta Prime.  Be on high alert!  The Decepticons are planning to re-activate the Energon Bridge.  This would grant them access to an unstable energy source powerful enough to jeopardize the entire planet.  Any Decepticons activity must be reported immediately, and all Decepticons are to be shot on sight!  Zeta Prime out!

OS: Starscream watches the Autobots through his scope until Zeta Prime finishes speaking and then he immediately destroys a few of them before backing away from the ledge to reload his gun.

Starscream: How boring!  I’ve read more entertaining maintenance reports.

Autobot 1: Alert!  Alert!

SS: Thundercracker is shot by the remaining Autobots.]

S: [distressed noises]

[Autobot 2: Focus your fire on that Decepticon!

Starscream: None can resist us!]

C: I guess there are missiles?

[SS: Skywarp and Thundercracker take out the last Autobot.  Skywarp and Starscream begin flying around the room exploring and Skywarp shoots the remaining explosive canisters on the ground.  The hallway leading out of the room is blocked by another barrier.

Skywarp: That was easy!

Thundercracker: The others will likely be tougher.  I suggest we proceed with caution.]

O: Who was actually suggesting caution there?

[Skywarp: My neural circuitry is stinging.  Getting past this thing is impossible!

Starscream: Keep looking you fool.  The answer is here somewhere!]

O: [snorts]

[CS: Skywarp finds a door up near the top of the room that is being held shut by some clamps.  He shoots the clamps and enters the room, where another power conduit is visible on the wall.]

C: So, I guess there’s a door up above?  And I found a conduit.

[CS: Skywarp shoots the conduit and exits the way he came.]

O: Sweet.

S: And I just shot the door that the Autobots were in front of or something?  Or someone just did?  I don’t know.

[OS: Starscream and Thundercracker enter the hallway that was previously blocked.]

C: Well, it is polite to knock.

O: What? [laughs]

C: It's- she shot the door.  So she was knocking.  That's how Transformers knock, right?  With their gun?

[OS: The party enters a room that is divided in half by a drop across the center of the room.  On the other side of the crevice, several Autobots run into view.

Autobot: [shouting]

Skywarp: Rockets!

Starscream: Quickly, get to cover!]

O: I mean, that sounds right.  I don't know why that wouldn't be right.

[OS: Starscream takes several shoots at the opposing Autobots using the Scatter Blaster (shotgun), which isn’t very effective at his current range.

Thundercracker: My scans indicate that door should lead us to the next canyon.]

O: Oh my god, why?

[SS: The group takes out most of the Autobots visible on the other ledge.

Starscream: They fall so easily!

SS: Everyone flies over the gap to reach the other side, where Skywarp and Thundercracker take down the remaining Autobot from the group prior.

Starscream: Let all that see Starscream tremble in fear!]

S: Mmm.

C: The best part about being a jet is infinite ammo.

S: Mmm.

O: I forgot about that, that is pretty nice, right?

C: [laughs]

S: What do you mean infinite- OH!

C & O: [laugh]

C: That was the best! [laughs]

[SS: The group takes out another group of Autobots around the corner.  Thundercracker staying in jet mode to take advantage of the infinite ammo.]

S: That's nice.  I appreciate that.  Ohh~

C: Yeah, somehow I'm still getting hit though.  I'm still down to half health.

[OS: The groups another corner to find a third group of Autobots.  The group fires on them.

Autobot: Launching rockets!

Skywarp: I got another one!]

C: I think it's cuz the missiles come after you if you're in jet mode.

S: [distressed noises]

O: Down here?  Or do we go the other way?

S: Um-

[OS: Starscream flies over to what looks like a hole in the floor and looks at it before turning around and spying some ammo.]

O: No, that’s not the right- BULLETS!

[OS: Starscream runs through the ammo, but doesn’t pick it up.]

O: Maybe?  Why can't I pick it up!?!

C: They aren't flak bullets, are they?

[SS: Activates a console opening the nearby door.]

S: I just opened a door?

[SS: An Autobot charges forward from a small group, activating a glowy blue shield on their frame.

Autobot: DIE!]

S: Oh, whoops, sorry.

C: This is what happens when you don't knock!  People get very angry.

[Autobot: Decepticons!  Seal the door!

CS: The rest of the Autobots run out a doorway behind them and seal the door.  The party takes out the lone Autobot.

Skywarp: Those punks locked us out!

Starscream: Stop whining and find another way in!]

C: So wait, what are we doing here, exactly?

O: Uh, we're trying to turn the space crack bridge back on.

[OS: Starscream walks over to an opening in the floor and jumps down.

Thundercracker: My scans show an energon deposit beneath us.]

C: The space crack bridge?

O: The space crack bridge.

[Starscream: Perfect!  There may be a cave below!]

C: Okay.  Because-

S: It's cave time!  I don’t like caves.

[Skywarp: Where are we?

Starscream: We’re NOT where we NEED to be, Skywarp--so keep moving!

SS: Thundercracker and Skywarp follow Starscream down through the floor and into another underground room in their jet modes.  The underground room is crisscrossed by pipes and flowing energon.  The energeron is significantly closer to the party than in previous rooms because the ceilings are lower.

C: Because we need to get our new Lord and Savior, Megatron, his fix.

S: [laughs]

[Thundercracker: Crude energon is highly volatile, and flying this close to it is very dangerous.  We should proceed with caution.

OS: Starscream transforms and the group flies forward]

O: No, no, no, no, no, not Lord and Savior, Starscream's new squeeze.

C: Right.

O: [laughs]

[Skywarp: Tighten your logic circuits, would you Thundercracker?  It can’t be THAT bad.]

C: This is-

S: His new boy toy.

C: -just one big, complicated booty call for Starscream?

O & S: [laugh]

O: YUP!  The last level was a drug run, this is a booty call!

A: [laughs]

[SS: The party reaches an area where they can go up.  Starscream activates his thrusters and bumps into the ceiling before maneuvering his way out.  Skywarp zips past flying erratically, as Thundercracker brings up the rear flying slowly.]

C: Oh my gosh, I’m flying drunk!

O: [laughs] So you’re Skywarp, got it.

C: It’s hard to fly when you move fast!

[CS: Skywarp continues to fly erratically.]

S: [laughs]

O: That’s why you do it in little bursts!

C: I'm sure there's an innuendo in there somewhere.

[CS: Starscream flies past, USING HIS THRUSTERS CORRECTLY.]

O: [screechy voice] “Some of us know how to use our thrusters, Skywarp!”

C: [laughs]

S: I-

O: Sound about right?

[OS: Thundercracker bumps into Starscream.]

C: I'm sorry, boss! [laughs]  Oh no.  Boss, Thundercracker is lost.

O: [laughs]

[SS: Thundercracker is flying in the middle of a room, turning around slowly.  Skywarp zooms over.]

S: [laughs] Yes, I am where- shoot

C: Things got too steamy for ‘em.

[OS: Starscream is in a different location than the other two, shooting at a bunch of turrets and Autobots.]

S: Where are you- where the fuck are we supposed to be going?

C: Through the-

O: Uh, just through the cave, that’s all I got.

C: Through the waterfall.

S: Oh.

[SS: Thundercracker moves down lower and enters a cave behind the waterfall.  Skywarp flies ahead of him.]

C: You, no, you wanna go down.  There you go.

S: Yes, I- I did see that but it- when you guys are going- when I can see your names through the walls it's not very... cohesive for me, okay?

[OS: Starscream is continuing to shoot Autobots and turrets.]

C: Makes sense.

S: Sorry, I am NOT drunk flying.

[CS: Skywarp activates his thrusters and catches up with Starscream, turning to shoot at the remaining turrets.]

C: [laughs] Sure, sure.

[Skywarp: No hard feelings, right?

SS: Thundercracker catches up with the other two and joins in the fray.]

S: Ah, fuck.

[OS: With the Autobots vanquished, Starscream lands and transforms.]

O: Oh, I desperately want ammo, I'm like completely out [of non-jet ammo]. [laughs] I can't shoot worth shit as a jet, apparently.

O: Also, I need health.

S: There's ammo here, and heals.

[OS: Starscream runs over to a health chest, destroying it and grabbing the health.]

O: Okay, where’s the am-

[OS: Starscream turns and sees the ammo box, running over and destroying it as well.]

O: Oh, there’s the ammo.  Oh sweet god, I have sharp- uh, I have a sniper rifle shit again, okay.

[Starscream: We’re getting close!  The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon.

A cinematic starts, as the party enters a large empty area, and a large ship with a whole bunch of Autobots inside drops down from above.]

S: Oh, goody.

C: How does Starscream know that?

O: Scans.  Bullshit.  It's a very complicated booty call, honey.

S: I don't know, he worked here?

C: [laughs]

O: I don’t think he did…

C: It’s like his old office?

[The large ship generates some sort of barrier to keep the party from advancing, and then begins firing mortars from several large cannons on it’s topside.]

O: [laughs before continuing in a screechy voice]  “This’ll show them for kicking me out!  Sleeping with the boss, HA!”

C: “Should have installed a coffee machine!”

[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.

Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!

Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker.  Enough babbling--destroy it!

Thundercracker: Target the mortars first!

CS: Skywarp flies over to the drop ship and transforms, hitting the mortars with his physical attack before swapping to his guns.]

S: [sighs]

[Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!]

O: [snorts]

[Starscream: Just blast it!  It breaks, like everything else!

SS: Thundercracker is shooting at the mortars, swapping targets as they are destroyed.]

C: I think I did this in Super Star Wars once.

O: [laughs] I mean, probably?

[OS: Starscream is shooting at the mortars.  Autobots are seen flying in close proximity in the background as well as the remaining mortar guns shooting rounds up into the air that disperse and rain down.]

C: What is shooting at us!?

O: Uh, probably the Autobots.

S: Yeah.

[SS: Thundercracker destroys another mortar.]

S: The ship?

O: I tried to take out the motors- the mortars I could see.

[Starscream: Excellent!  Now, target the Aerialbots!

Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!

CS: Skywarp flies into a group of enemy Autobots, destroying a target, but his health dropping below 1 bar, before he flies out of range.]

S: Ah.  Oh, sorry.

[OS: Starscream is destroying enemy Autobots, when the downed ally icon appears off to his right.]

C: Oh no, I'm down.

[Skywarp: Here comes another wave!

OS: Starscream transforms into bot mode and begins to fall before transforming back into vehicle mode.]

O: Oh shit!  Why did I do that!?

S: Oh, hold on.  Uh…

[SS: Thundercracker flies over to Skywarp and begins to revive him.  Several Autobots are hovering around above Skywarp, and Thundercracker begins to take fire.]

S: I'm holding ‘E’ to revive!

C: Thank you.  I'm very bad at staying alive in the air.

[OS: Skywarp is revived and the whole party resumes firing on the Autobots.]

S: So am I?

[OS: Starscream takes heavy damage.]

O: Oh my god!!!

[SS: Thundercracker goes down.]

S: Sorry, I'm out.

C: Alright, I'll come get you.

[CS: Skywarp flies towards Thundercracker but overshoots and has to stop and turn around.]

C: Oh no, there’s too many of them!

[CS: Skywarp is still trying to maneuver his way over to Thundercracker, but several Autobots are firing on him at the same time.]

C: There’s too many, I can’t revive you!

[CS: Another downed ally icon appears to Skywarp’s left.]

O: I’m dead too.

C: No, no, why!?

S: [snickers]

C: THERE’S TOO MANY!

[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears.]

O: Goodbye cruel world. [sighs]

S: Well, hopefully, it's not gonna toss us too far back from where we were?

[OS: Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint”.]

O: I think we spawn right before there, because I kept dying there, uh, on- when on my one player playthrough.

[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the Hidden Underground Entrance.”

Starscream: We’re getting close!  The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon.

The same cinematic from before starts, with the drop ship dropping down into the canyon from above, generating the shield, attacking the party with mortar rounds, and releasing Aerialbots to attack the Seekers.]

C: This part is hard!

O: Yeah!  I know, it sucks!

C: Like, there’s no negotiating.

O: And you have to be in the air, because like, landing on the plane does not- or wha- landing on the ship doesn't make things ton easier for ya.

C: I think we're gonna have to focus on taking out the little guys.

O: Well, we need to take out the cannons [mortars] too - otherwise you'll really get fucked over.

C: Is there a finite amount of guys though?

O: I think so?  But I don't remember.

[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.]

C: Alright, well I guess we'll rush the cannons then.

[Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!

Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker.  Enough babbling--destroy it!

OS: The party moves forward and begins shooting at the mortars.]

O: Either that, or if you guys want to focus on the little ones I’ll focus on the cannons?  Either works.

[Thundercracker: Target the mortars first!]

Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!

C: Alright, I'm gonna swap over to just focusing on the little guys now.

[CS: Skywarp zips off towards the back of the ship.]

C: There they are, they're coming out of the back of the ship.

[Starscream: Excellent!  Now, target the Aerialbots!

Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!]

Skywarp: Here comes another wave!

OS: Starscream continues shooting the mortars.  A downed ally icon appears to his left.]

S: Ah, well, I’m out.

[OS: Starscream transforms into robot mode, dropping down before transforming back into vehicle mode and zipping towards Thundercracker.]

C: Oh crap.

S: Sorry.

C: I can't find you.

S: I am towards the rear of the ship.

[OS: Starscream overshoots Thundercracker and has to turn around, while taking heavy fire from the multiple Autobots hovering over Thundercracker.]

O: Oh dammit!

S: You’re out too?

O: No, not yet yet.

O: Ugh, I’m try-

C: I- there- there you are.

O: Now I am.

C: Nooo!

[CS: Skywarp is downed and the Mission Failed screen displays briefly, before loading at the checkpoint again.]

O: Try to stay more towards the middle, because it's really, really hard when like, everybody's spread out everywhere?

[CS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the Hidden Underground Entrance.”

Starscream: We’re getting close!  The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon.]

C: Um, they spawn in at the rear of the ship and they're sitting ducks while they run out.  So I'm still going to stay in the rear.

O: That's fine.

[CS: The same cinematic from before starts, but is skipped.  The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.”]

O: Yes, can we-? There we go. [laughs] I was like, do we need to watch this again?  The answer is no.

C: But it’s so pretty!

[Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!

Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker.  Enough babbling--destroy it!

Skywarp: Target the mortars first!

CS: The party flies in and all target the mortars, taking out three of them in rapid succession.

Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!

Starscream: Just blast it!  It breaks, like everything else!

OS: Starscream and Thundercracker continue to attack the mortars.  Starscream is fired on by Aerialbots and his health drops to under 1 bar before he flies out of range.]

O: [quietly] Godammit.

[Starscream: Excellent!  Now, target the Aerialbots!

CS: Skywarp is at the rear of the ship shooting Aerialbots as they run out of the ship, before they’re able to transform into vehicle mode.

Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!

OS: Starscream transforms and lands on the ship, taking out one of the Aerialbots with his Null Ray.  He’s then fired on and transforms and flies off.

Thundercracker: Here comes another wave!]

O: Oh, dammit!

[Starscream: The blast doors are open!  Quickly!]

S: Uh…

[SS: Thundercracker hovers around the front of the dropship looking around.]

S: So, I’m-

[Skywarp: Watch out for those rocket snipers!

SS: A downed ally icon appears in the distance.]

O:  Dammit!  Dammit!  I’m down.

S: Oh shit.

C: Alright.

[Starscream: Enough of this nonsense!  We'll bring this annoyance down from the INSIDE.  Fly in and target its power core!

CS: Skywarp and Starscream take out an Aerialbot and Skywarp flies over to the downed Starscream.]

C: You can shoot while you’re down, so try and cover for me.

O: [quietly] If I can find them…

[CS: Starscream sort of scoots away from Thundercracker and Skywarp while firing on some of the Aerialbots still on the drop ship.]

C: Hey!  No, don't move away from us!

[OS: Skywarp revives Starscream.]

C: There we go.

O: [screechy voice] I LIVE!

[OS: The down ally icon appears on the left side of the screen.]

S: I'm out.  Shit.

[CS: Skywarp turns around and flies back over to where Starscream is reviving Thundercracker.

Starscream: None can resist us!  For glory!]

C: [laughs] For glory!

O: For getting my ass kicked.

S: [laughs]

[CS: Skywarp flies over to the opened portion of the drop ship and continues shooting at the Autobots inside.]

O: Okay, there we go.

S: Thank you. Oh!  Apparently I was not by the rear of the ship, I was by the front!

C: I think the ship just opened up.

O: Yeah.

[SS: Thundercracker enters the ship behind Skywarp as they both transform into robot mode.  Thundercracker picks up some health while Skywarp fires on Autobots.]

C: Alright, there’s health on my right, or my left, rather.

O: There's some on each, I'm gonna take this one.

C: I have two bars so I'm probably good for now.

[Autobot: Close the blast doors, and seal the ship!  We’ll trap them inside!]

Skywarp: Trap us?

Thundercracker: Orders, Starscream?

Starscream: Hahahaha!  Those idiots locked in here with their power core!  Plant a detpack on it!

OS: Starscream runs around shooting at Autobots before going down.]

O: Ugh!  I'm down, help.

S: Oh shi- shoot.

[CS: Thundercracker is off to the side reviving Starscream.  Skywarp chases down Autobots with a combination of gunfire and melee attacks, before going down as well.]

C: Ah, I'm down as well.

S: Uh, where are you?  Oh.

O: ARGH!

S: How am I not-

[SS: Thundercracker walks over to Skywarp and begins to revive him.  Another downed ally icon appears on the right hand side of the screen.]

O: I’m down again.

[SS: Thundercracker continues to try and revive Skywarp but also goes down when an Autobot walks up and shoots him at point blank range.]

S: Well damn it, so am I.

O: At least we start from here [after the ship has opened up].

S: Well, I mean we’re…

O: Oh fucking rockets!

S: Oh, the audio seems like it’s gone for me?

C: Oh, you lost audio?

S: I don’t know why, but I can’t hear the game anymore-

O: Did you accidentally turn it down?

S: -or you guys.

[Autobot: Close the blast doors, and seal the ship!  We’ll trap them inside!]

C: We can’t get into the ship anymore!

S: All my stuff is...uh, muted?  Why is my stuff muted?

[The video disappears and some white text is visible on a black background.]

Note (from sound editor, which is also Chezni):

Unfortunately at this point, we had a SNAFU with Specs' audio and had to restart the game.

Due to the restart, Specs' audio and footage became unusable due to a spike in her game volume that she corrects in about 16 minutes.

Don't worry!  You can still see and hear her in Owls' and Chezni's footage until the correction, which will be used until then.

Sorry for the interruption!

[OS: The game loads back at the checkpoint before the battle with the drop ship started.  The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the Hidden Underground Entrance.”  On the lower left the text, “Chezni has joined the game,” and “Specspectacle has joined the game,” is visible.]

O: [singing]  Dada dat dat dat dada da da.

S: If we don’t- mm.

C: Ah, hey, we’re back!

[Starscream: We’re getting close!  The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon.

The same cinematic from before starts, but is skipped.  The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.”]

C: Oh no!  We gotta do this again.

S: Ah, pfft.

[Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!

Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker.  Enough babbling--destroy it!

Thundercracker: Target the mortars first!

OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.  The party flies forward and attacks the mortars.]

Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!

Starscream: Just blast it!  It breaks, like everything else!]

S: Oh.

[Starscream: Excellent!  Now, target the Aerialbots!

Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!

CS: Skywarp continues to fly around and shoot the mortars before swapping to the Aerialbots.  A downed ally icon appears on the lower left of the screen.]

S: Oh.  Sorry, I’m out guys.

C: No worries.  I’m always amazed at the fact that while you’re flying, at like, light speed the enemies still hit you.

[Skywarp: Here comes another wave!]

S: Uh…

C: I’m sorry, I can’t, there was too much fire power.

O: Oh!

[OS: Starscream flies over to Thundercracker but is taken out along with Skywarp and the Mission Failed screen appears.]

O: I’m dead too.

S: So am I.

O: Oh my god, I hate this checkpoint!

[OS: Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint”.]

O: I hate this level, I hate this-

C: Shake off the rust.

[The screen reads, “New Objective: Find the hidden underground entrance.”]

O: Uh, no, there is no rust!  This part just sucks, it sucked it one player!

C: Shake off the rust!

[Starscream: We’re getting close!  The next entrance is just on the far side of this canyon.]

O: OH MY GOD, you’re a jerk.

C: The space rust.  What's the super rust called?

[OS: The same cinematic from before starts, but is skipped.  The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.”]

O: Cosmic rust, dear?

C: Yeah, shake off the cosmic rust!

O: [screechy voice] “Only if you're Megatron!”

[CS: The party flies forward and attacks the mortars.

Thundercracker: The Autobot ship is generating an energy shield over the entrance!

Starscream: I can see that for myself, Thundercracker.  Enough babbling--destroy it!

Skywarp: Target the mortars first!]

C: Cosmic rust, it's coarse, and rough...

O: And gets everywhere.

C & O: [laugh]

[Skywarp: This thing is as crazy as I am!

Starscream: Just blast it!  It breaks, like everything else!

CS: Skywarp swaps over to attacking the Aerialbots.]

O: Oh my god!  Go away!

[Starscream: Excellent!  Now, target the Aerialbots!

Skywarp: I’ll show them some REAL flying!]

C: Oh my gosh, I'm definitely gonna die here.

[OS: Starscream continues to shoot at Aerialbots.]

S: Oh, I'm out, sorry guys.  I’m in the worst spot.

[OS: Starscream transforms into bot mode, dropping down and grabbing some energon before transforming back into vehicle mode and flying over to Thundercracker… who is awkwardly hanging in the air nose first into the drop ship.  The area is slanted, so it’s more difficult to maneuver around, but Starscream manages to get underneath him and revives him, while taking fire from nearby Aerialbots.]

C: That is a pretty bad spot!

S: [laughs]

C: I don't think I can…

S: [continues laughing even harder]

C: Like, those guys are just right there.

S: Oh.

O: Oh my god!

[Thundercracker: More reinforcements?

OS: Starscream flies off to get out of firing range of the Aerialbots, but another downed ally icon appears behind him and he turns around midair.]

O: I can't get everyone!

S: [laughs]

C: Well, you've got 700 seconds for me.

[OS: Starscream flies over to Skywarp and revives him.  Yet another downed ally icon appears to the left.]

O: Oh my god, GUYS!!

S: [continues to laugh harder]

[OS: Starscream zips over to Thundercracker and revives him, while already on low health and taking even more fire from Aerialbots.]

O: I need you to not!  I’m gonna die!

[Starscream: The blast doors are open!  Quickly!

Skywarp: Watch out for those rocket snipers!]

C: We did it!  We did it!

[Starscream: Enough of this nonsense!  We'll bring this annoyance down from the INSIDE.  Fly in and target its power core!]

S: Mm-mm.

[CS: Skywarp flies into the drop ship, transforming into robot mode and shooting at the Autobots inside.]

C: Oh my goodness.

S: Shit, shit!

[Autobot: Close the blast doors, and seal the ship!  We’ll trap them inside!]

O: I am inside, I cannot help.

S: Um.

[Skywarp: Trap us?

Thundercracker: Orders, Starscream?

CS: Thundercracker returns to jet mode.]

S: Shi- uh.

O: Where are you?

C: Where are you are you, Specs?

[CS: Skywarp turns around and sees that the door he and Starscream had entered through is no longer open.

Starscream: Hahahaha!  Those idiots locked in here with their power core!  Plant a detpack on it!]

S: [laughs]

O: If you're outside, we can't help, we’re stuck inside!

S: I’m outside!

C: Oh my god.

O: Of course you are!

S: [laughs] I’m sorry!

O: Oh well, at least we got the stupid door open, right?

C: That’s true.

S: Uh.

C: You're good- don't worry Skywarp- er, Thundercracker, you're completely safe out there!

O & S: [laugh]

C: No harm will come to you!

S: [laughs]

[CS: Starscream and Skywarp continue to maneuver around inside the ship taking out Autobots.  Skywarp goes down, while at the same time another downed ally icon appears offscreen to his left.]

C: Oh gosh, I’m down.

S: So am I, sorry.

O: Oh my god.

S: [laughs]

[CS: Skywarp takes out an Autobot while downed, and Starscream runs over and begins to revive him.]

C: Please save your poor little jet.

S: [laughs]

[CS: Skywarp is revived, he then transforms and follows Starscream into another section of the ship.]

O: You're so tiny and adorable.

[CS: Skywarp fires on yet more Autobots.]

O: [laughs] Seriously, you’re like a little itty bitty little jet when I’m in uh, robot mode, it’s great.

S: I blew up.

[CS: Skywarp is in a fire fight with an Autobot when the screen suddenly goes dark and the Mission Failed screen appears.]

C: Wait, what!?!

O: Well, she was outside!  She was outside and she was- and we couldn't get to her.

[OS: Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint”.]

S: [laughs]

Note: Apparently, there was lone Decepticon still outside that killed poor Thundercracker in cold blood, unfortunately, Specs footage was still unusable at this point, hence no visual.

[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the shield generator.”]

S: Sorry.

[Starscream: The blast doors are open!  Quickly!

Skywarp: Watch out for those rocket snipers!]

C: But how!?  What hurt you?

White text is overlaid on top of the screen: *Specs makes weird noises because her ears are starting to hurt…*

[Starscream: Enough of this nonsense!  We'll bring this annoyance down from the INSIDE.  Fly in and target its power core!]]

S: Mm.

C: Alright I got-

S: I’m inside now!

C: Hooray!

[Autobot: Close the blast doors, and seal the ship!  We’ll trap them inside!

OS: Starscream has entered the ship and transformed, taking out an Autobot with the Null Ray.  A down ally icon appears to his left.]

S: But I’m also dead!

C: Uh, un-hooray.

[OS: Starscream makes his way over to Thundercracker.

Skywarp: Trap us?

Thundercracker: Orders, Starscream?

Starscream: Hahahaha!  Those idiots locked in here with their power core!  Plant a detpack on it!

CS: Skywarp walks over to the power core and plants an explosive on it.]

S: Ah shoot.  Gosh darnit, who am I supposed to- gah!  I don’t like you.

[Autobot Ship: Warning!  Warning!  Warning!

The dropship begins to come to pieces around the party.

The screen reads, “New Objective: Escape the Autobot Dropship.]

S: I’m down.

[CS: Skywarp walks over to the downed Thundercracker.]

C: I got ya.

[Starscream: Unbelievable!  These Autobots are dumber than Skywarp!]

S: Thank you.

[Thundercracker: Perhaps, Starscream, but have you considered an escape route for US?]

S: Ah.

[Starscream: Try the upper deck!  Hurry!

OS: Thundercracker is revived, and Starscream transforms into jet mode and flies up to the second level of the drop ship.]

S: Uh.

C: I think we need to- yeah, go up.

[OS: The doorway in front of the party is sealed.

Skywarp: They sealed it off!]

S: Yeah, yeah, I kind of figured.

[OS: The front part of the ship falls away, and the part transforms into jet mode to make their exit.

Starscream: Now’s our chance!  Fly through the hole!]

O: [snorts]

C: No comment.

O: [laughs]

C: No comment.

[Skywarp: Dumber than Skywarp?  I’ll show YOU dumb, Starscream!

Starscream: You always do.

The screen reads, “New Objective: Continue your search for the underground.”

OS: The party flies forward, transforming and landing on the platform the shield generator was blocking.  Starscream runs forward and smashes an ammo chest before turning around and seeing some grenades in the corner.]

O: Okay, we've got ammo, grenades…

S: Uh…

O: Where's- where's- there's a Chezni.

[CS: Skywarp flies up and lands on the platform Starscream and Thundercracker are already on.]

O: You're always lagging behind Skywarp.

C: You know what?!

O: [laughs]

C: You know what?!

[CS: Skywarp starts running away from Starscream.]

C: ...I don’t know what.

[OS: Starscream chases after Skywarp.]

O: What are you- what are you gonna do?  You gonna run away?  We are the only two that will have you, and you know it!

C: [laughs]

O: Get back here Skywarp!

[CS: The party runs into a hallway, a shield chest is visible off to their right.]

O: [laughs] Does anyone need heal-

S: Uh, is that heals?

O: Yes.

S: Cuz I could use-

O: Go ahead.

C: It’s a shield not heals.

O: Well, it’ll still help.

S: Thank you.

O: I also thought it fully healed you, but perhaps I’m wrong.

[CS: A cinematic plays of the Seekers running into a room where a creepy looking Autobot is standing, before it jumps off the platform, disappearing in a flash of electricity.]

S: Oh!

O: What is that?  Oh right, I remember this.

C: That's not a real transformer.

[Skywarp: Did you see that?

Thundercracker: You mean that creepy looking that that just jumped over the side?

Skywarp: Yah.

Thundercracker: Nope.  I didn’t see anything.

Starscream: I should’ve left you two on the station.]

O: Uh, I’m gonna take this unless you guys want something- want it.

[OS: Starscream walks over to a Plasma Cannon (Charge) and swaps out his Scattershot for it.]

O: I dunno if I’ll like it, but we’ll see.

[Skywarp: Now this is some serious bang for our buck!]

S: Are we jumping?

C: What is- oh, nothing.

O: Yup.

[OS: Starscream walks over to the ledge and jumps down.]

C: We’re jets!  Jets don't jump, St- Thundercracker, they fly!

O: They fall with style! [laughs]

[OS: Starscream walks into a dark room, and the screen shakes.]

S: Wahh!

C: With- yeah, we don’t fall, we fly with style!

[OS: Starscream and Thundercracker are looking around the room.

Skywarp: I think I saw something.

Thundercracker: You think you saw what?

Starscream: SILENCE!  It could be an Autobot cloaker--keep your optics sharp!

CS: Skywarp walks over to an ammo chest before transforming and zipping over to a health chest and running into the energon inside..]

C: There's some ammo over here if anyone needs it.

O: There's a scatter blaster over here?

S: Uh…

C: I already have a scatter blaster.  It's horrible.

[OS: Starscream and Thundercracker are attempting to target one of the cloakers as it becoming visible when charging it’s attack.  Starscream tries to use the Plasma Cannon and charges it up, but the Cloaker disappears again.]

O: Where are they?

[OS: The Plasma Cannon goes off automatically, not hitting anything.]

O: Ugh.

S: Ohh~

[OS: A cloaker shoots Starscream from above.]

O: What the fuck!?  Right…

S: There's-

[CS: Skywarp flies around the room in jet mode, finally seeing one of the cloakers charge up an attack and shoot.]

C: Oh, it's invisible!

S: Yes, it's invisible, man!  Thank you.

C: You got to look for the shimmers.

O: Yeah, I need- oh, where was that other gun?  I need it. [snorts] This is bad.

[CS: Skywarp continues flying around, targeting cloakers with his jet mode’s machine guns when he spots them.  Starscream and Thundercracker are running around on the ground.]

S: Um.

[CS: Skywarp tries to shoot a cloaker but it runs away from him and disappears.]

C: Ah man, they're fast!

O: Ugh.

[OS: Starscream runs around the room trying to shoot things with the Scatter Blaster, with limited success.]

S: God, it’s a fast sucker!

O: It really is.

[OS: Starscream turns into vehicle mode briefly to destroy a cloaker with his machine guns before returning to bot mode.

Starscream: I’m ready to lead!

OS: A downed ally icon appears to the right.]

S: I'm out, sorry!  God, there’s so many of them!

C: Yeah, there's like, a ton all of a sudden.

[OS: Skywarp attempts to revive Thundercracker but is unable because Thundercracker is in vehicle mode and awkwardly angled away from a platform behind him.  Starscream transforms into jet mode and is able to begin reviving Thundercracker.]

O: I got her.

S: Thank you.

[OS: Skywarp runs out from underneath Thundercracker.  The party continues fighting the cloaked Autobots.]

C: I can't move.  I was like, stuck underneath her.

S: Mm.

C: When they- when they attack they charge up a ball of light.

O: Yeah, that's how I've been aiming at ‘em.

[OS: The party takes out the last of the cloakers.

Starscream: Hahaha!  Feel the power of my wrath!  Now, get the power back online so we can move on!]

S: Uh.

O: I didn't realize I could swap weapons [in vehicle mode].  I mean, I kind of figured it out earlier but thank god, I hate machine guns.

[Starscream: Get moving, Decepticons.  We must be getting close.]

S: Is there like-

O: Any health or ammo left in here?

C: I didn’t see any.

[CS: Skywarp flies around the room a bit before zipping through a door into the next room over.  The room is narrow with two openings to a larger area that is swarming with Autobots on a platform in the middle of the area.  There is a gun on the ground in front of the party.

Thundercracker: There it is.  The entrance to the underground.

Starscream: Another shield generator?!  These Autobots are getting on my nerves.]

O: I don’t need- there we go.

S: There’s a Null Ray scope?

O: Oh, I already have one, I can’t pick up another one.

[The screen reads, “New Objective: Deactivate the forcefield.”

Starscream: Bring down those shields!]

C: Uh, I’ll take the Null Ray scope.

[CS: Skywarp walks over and picked up the Null Ray, dropping his Scatter Blaster.]

O: It a sniper rifle.

S: Oh.  Um.  Well, nuts, I’m out!

[OS: Starscream is sniping Autobots when the downed ally icon appears to his right.]

S: Sorry, I’m down.

C: It’s fine, uh, I’ll cover.

[OS: Starscream walks over to Thundercracker and revives him.  Lines coming from the Autobots across the gap show that a large number of them are equipped with sniper rifles, explaining why Thundercracker died so quickly.]

S: Okay, mmm.

[OS: Starscream gets back behind cover and Thundercracker transforms and flies out of the small room the party is in, before being taken out almost immediately.]

S: Mmm, I'm out again.

[OS: Starscream transforms and flies over to Thundercracker to try and revive him.]

O: You need to not fly in here! [laughs]

[OS: Starscream also begins taking heavy fire from the enemy snipers.]

O: Dammit.

C: Shoot.

[OS: Starscream goes down and Thundercracker explodes.]

S: Sorry.

C: No, it's a fine.

[CS: The mission failed screen comes up briefly before restarting at the checkpoint in the room with the Null Ray.  The screen reads, “New Objective: Deactivate the forcefield,” upon loading.

Thundercracker: There it is.  The entrance to the underground.

C: Skywarp suddenly became Italian, “It's a fine!”

[Starscream: Another shield generator?!  These Autobots are getting on my nerves.  Bring down those shields!

CS: Skywarp transforms and enters the large room, flying around the edges, but inevitably takes heavy fire from the enemy snipers.]

S: Umm…oh, jesus- ugh.

[CS: Skywarp is down to 1 bar of health.  The down ally icon appears in the distance.]

S: Shit.  Well, I'm dead again.

[CS: Skywarp lands on a platform and transforms, heading towards a health chest.]

O: Chezni, do you have her?

C: Ah- I’m- um, no. [laughs]

[CS: Skywarp turns away from the chest and transforms, flying over to where Thundercracker is floating.]

O: Uhh…

S: Well, I’m-

C: I’ve got her now, but I’m probably gonna die.

[CS: Skywarp begins reviving Thundercracker but he quickly goes down too.]

C: Yeah, I died trying to do it.

[CS: Thundercracker explodes, and the “Mission Failed,” screen appears.]

S: Sorry.

C: Ah, that's alright.  So that part is probably better if we all stay in that enclosed area.

S: Okay, and then just snipe?

O: YES.

C: Ah, more or less.

[OS: Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint.”  The screen reads, “New Objective: Deactivate the forcefield,” upon loading.

Thundercracker: There it is.  The entrance to the underground.

Starscream: Another shield generator?!  These Autobots are getting on my nerves.  Bring down those shields!

OS: Starscream snipes 4 Autobots before ducking behind cover to reload.

Starscream: Ahahaha!  For glory!

CS: Skywarp snipes 3 Autobots before looking around at the lessened quantity of Autobots...]

C: I think we're good.  Maybe.

[CS: ...And is then shot at by yet more Autobots.]

C: Ah, I spoke too soon!

[OS: Starscream takes out two targets but the next two are shot by Skywarp.  He then tries to shoot another Autobot higher up on the middle area but misses, needing to reload again.]

O: [quietly] Come on.

S: Ohh~

C: Is that all of them?

O: Almost.

[OS: Starscream takes out the Autobot he previously missed.]

S: Mmm.

[CS: Skywarp transforms and flys over to the middle platform, taking out another Autobot.]

O: At the very least I think it’s most of them.

[OS: Starscream transforms in midair, and uses his energon mace on the enemy below as he’s falling, but doesn’t kill the Autobot.  The Autobot backs up and begins firing on Starscream, dropping him to 1 bar of health]

O: Dammit!

[OS: Starscream attempts to shoot the Autobot with his Null Ray but misses.  He then transforms into vehicle mode and takes him out with his machine gun.]

C: Ah, I’m down.

[OS: Starscream flies over to Skywarp, transforming and beginning to revive him.]

O: I am NOT gonna live through this.

S: Mmm.

[CS: Skywarp is revived and he hops back up.]

C: Thank you.

O: There you go.

S: Mmm.

O: Uhh, you okay?

Note: Keep in mind that Specs can barely hear us, or quite frankly herself, because her game volume is so loud at this point.

C: [Nasally voice] Starscream you're my hero.

[CS: Skywarp dodges fire from an enemy Autobot before running over and taking him out with his physical attack.]

O: [laughs] Now THAT seems like how they- the ways they would tease each other.

[CS: Skywarp uses one of his special moves that allows him to begin spinning the upper potion of his body around in a circle while holding his energon mace and takes out an Autobot.]

S: Mmm.

O: Specs, what’s wrong?

[OS: Starscream takes out an Autobot with the Null Ray, and when he exits the scope mode, Thundercracker is right next to him in vehicle mode.]

C: Yeah, I- where is Specs, actually?

O: She’s with me.

S: I'm right here.

C: Ohh, gosh darn-!

[OS: Starscream continues to snipe Autobots.  Skywarp goes down in front of him.]

C: I’m down again.

S: Mmm.

[OS: Starscream runs over and revives Skywarp.]

S: Ahh.

[Skywarp: The battery casing is opening.]

S: Ahh, okay...

C: This is quite chaotic!

O: A little bit, yeah.

S: No duh!

[OS: Starscream is running low on Null Ray ammo, and not seeing any immediate Autobots runs out from underneath the platform he was under, getting fired on from above immediately.]

O: Oh come on!

C: Come on Decepticons!

[Thundercracker: The shield batteries are exposed.  If we destroy them, we can lower the shield.

OS: Starscream is still under the platform, having swapped over to his Scatter Blaster and trying to take out some nearby Aerialbots (it’s not working terribly well).]

C: Are you... mice bots or are you car bots?!

[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Destroy the armor plating.”]

S: We’re fighting planes!

O: Uh, we’re jets? [laughs] We’re fighting jets!

S: I'm out of- shit.

[CS: The party continues fighting the Aerialbots.]

S: Mmm.  Mm.  Mmm.

O: [laughs] I’m sorry!  You're making very, very, many noises though.

[CS: The party takes out the remaining Autobots.  Skywarp flies over to the platform the other two Seekers are on/nearby and heals himself with a nearby health chest.

Starscream: Look out for those sentries, you bumbling idiots!]

C: These are- these are Specs’ concentrating noises.

S: [laughs]

O: [laughs] Is that what we’re calling it?

C: These are Specs’ magic words, do not steal them!

O: [laughs]

[OS: The party is able to destroy the plating on the giant door that was blocked by the shield generator.]

S: I can’t hear you guys very well!

O: [laughs] These are Specs’ magic words, do not steal them!

[OS: The screen reads, “New Objective: Re-route power to the energon bridge.”

The large round door in front of the party opens up and bridge forms from the main platform over to the door.  Starscream flies through the door, and the party enters was looks like a dilapidated tunnel with a bunch of piping and equipment scattered throughout.

Starscream: Move, Decepticons.  Into the tunnels!  We have a Bridge to activate!]

C: Well, whatever they were, seemed like it worked.

S: What?  I can barely hear you guys.

C: Really?

Skywarp: This place gives me the creeps.

Starscream: These tunnels were decommissioned long ago.  We’ll have to activate the power terminals to get the station back online.]

S: Yeah, the game is overpowering everything for me.

C: Did you- is it-

S: OHH!  Because it [the volume] went up to like 50 and I didn't realize it.

C & O: [laugh]

O: All we-

C: That would explain SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!

S: [laughs]

O: We just kept hearing you make noises and I kept asking you what was wrong, and I wasn’t getting a response, and I was like, “Okay…”

A: [laugh]

C: Like, we kept- we kept commenting, we were being like, “Oh hey Specs, how are you?” Like- like no response.

S: [laughs]

[SS: The party moves forward, further into the tunnels.

Skywarp: Incoming!  Take cover!  Wait?!  That’s not Autobot weaponry?!

Thundercracker: Interesting.  I’ve never seen these life forms before.]

C: That’s hilarious.

S: [laughs harder]

[Starscream: Who cares--if they get in my way, BLAST THEM!]

S: But I got things done!  It got- I was helpful, I was useful.

O: Yes!  Yes!

C: True, you died fewer times than I did.

O: Chezni died twice.

C: That’s pretty awesome.

O: If anyone should be ashamed of themselves it should be Chezni.

C: Yup.

O: I don't know what blowing these up does?

[CS: Starscream shoots an object that explodes near Skywarp.]

S: Oh~

C: You're a Decepticon, you love blowing things up, right?

[CS: Some strange mechanical tentacle things pop out of the walls and fly towards the party, but Skywarp destroys them.]

O: [screechy voice] Excuse me, I'm Starscream, I don't waste my ammo on something so trivial.

C: You have people do that for you.

O: [screechy voice] Uh, yes, those people are you.

C: [laughs]

S: Like, I think my performance in the last round is not uh, like, par for the course, probably.

[Starscream: There, just as I told you!  The Energon Bridge Terminal.  Find a way inside and activate it!

OS: The party continues onwards, before arriving in a large room with a large oblong structure in the center.]

S: Egh!

[Skywarp: I thought this place was deserted!

OS: Thundercracker and Starscream fly to the right side of the structure and begin shooting at the nearby sentries.  Multiple probes are also deployed and attack them both.]

C: Well, you thought wrong!

[Starscream: We must’ve tripped the station’s automated defenses.  Open fire!]

S: Uh…

O: Uh, help!

[OS: Thundercracker goes down.]

S: Nuts, sorry, I’m dead.

[OS: Starscream goes down.]

O: Ah, crap!  We're both dead, honey.

C: Yes, so am I.

[OS: The, “Mission Failed,” screen appears.]

O: We're all dead, honey. [laughs]

[OS: Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint.”]

C: I’m not sure what killed us?

O: Uh, I think it was things that came out of the middle there.  That better be a damn checkpoint.

[OS: The party starts in the same room they previously died in.  The screen reads, “New Objective: Re-route power to the energon bridge.”

Starscream: There, just as I told you!  The Energon Bridge Terminal.  Find a way inside and activate it!]

S: Sentries.

[OS: The party moves towards the door in the right side of the oblong object, shooting at the probes and sentries.

Skywarp: I thought this place was deserted!

Starscream: We must’ve tripped the station’s automated defenses.  Open fire!]

S: It’s sentry time!

[SS: Thundercracker destroys several sentry guns.]

S: Oh, there’s... thingies.

[Skywarp: More cloakers?  These guys creep me out!]

O: What the fuck is shooting at me?

[Thundercracker: What’s the matter, Skywarp--afraid?]

C: They're- they're like inside this big room.

[Skywarp: At least I’m not ugly.

Thundercracker: Ugly?  You and I look the SAME!]

S: I’m dead.

[SS: Thundercracker is killed by the last remaining sentry gun.]

O: I’ll try to get over there, I need to kill that thing first though.

S: Mmm.

[CS: Skywarp is inside the oblong structure exploring it, swapping back and forth between his robot and his vehicle modes.

Skywarp: Okay, let’s take off!]

S: Ah.

[CS: Skywarp is still flying around by himself in the structure.  He destroys two probes that move in front of him.]

S: Thank you- WAAAA!  Screw you!

O: Crap!

S: Oh shoot, are you behind me?

O: Yes I'm trying to- there, I killed it.

S: Oh, thank you.

C: Did anyone’s screen go dark, or is that just me?

[OS: Thundercracker and Starscream have finally entered the structure as well.  Overall, it is darker inside but everything’s still visible.]

O: It is a lot darker, yes.

C: Okay.

S: Yeah, it is.

C: I was a little confused.

O: Oh my god, I would kill for some damn health.

S: Same.

C: Last-

S: I mean, there's guns.

C: There's a plasma cannon.

[OS: The group walks over to some guns on the floor.  Starscream is at one bar of health.

Starscream: I still require medical attention!]

O: I did not like the plasma cannon at all.

C: Specs, you want it?

[SS: Starscream and Skywarp are running around in their bot modes, but Thundercracker is still in his vehicle mode.  He approaches the Plasma Cannon, but the prompt to pick it up doesn’t appear.]

S: Uh, mm, I can’t interact with it.

C: [laughs] You’re just scooting around as a jet.

S: [laughs]

C: You need to stop being a jet.  Stop being a jet, right now! [laughs]

S: I’m out of ammo.  Alright, okay, fine, I can pick that up.

[SS: Thundercracker transforms into bot mode and picks up the Plasma Cannon.]

C: Alright.

O: Okay…

S: Where are we supposed to go?

O: We should go down here, maybe?

[OS: Starscream is walking around when an energy blast charges in midair and is shot at him.]

O: Oh cripes, there are more of those invisible guys.

S: Oh.

C: Ah, so that’s what it is.

S: Where are you guys?

O: Ugh!

C: I’m on the bottom floor.

O: I am too, and I do not have a lot of health... so, help?

S: Ah.

C: I’m trying!

[CS: Skywarp chases around a clocker trying to shoot it before finally taking it out with a physical attack.]

S: I didn't realize there was a bottom floor, uh.

[CS: The party is near each other, all shooting at cloakers.]

S: Sorry, I am utilizing the spray-and-pray method of..

C: Hey, with infinite bullets you’re totally allowed to do that.

O: You can pray and spray as much as you want.

[SS: Thundercracker is assisting the rest of the party while in vehicle mode and spamming his machine guns.  He shoots something in the distance, causing an explosion.]

O: That was an explosion.

C: I think we got ‘em.

[SS: Starscream walks over to a console and activates it.  The lights come on and prompt to look at the ‘Ambush’ appears on the screen.]

O: We got ambushed?

[Thundercracker: Detecting Autobot energy signatures!]

O: [groans]

C: Nice to have lights again.

[Starscream: More fools rush to their death.  Destroy them!]

O: I can only destroy them when I have ammo, dipshit!

C: The melee button is a wonderful thing.

[Megatron (COM): Starscream, report!

Starscream: Megatron!  We are encountering significant Autobot resistance but…

SS: Thundercracker shoots a barrel of explosives and takes damage, he then shoots the other closer barrel and dies.]

S: I'm down.

[Megatron (COM): I will not suffer excuses.  Do not fail me!]

S: I am also not entirely sure how, unless I was too close to the explosion?

[CS: Skywarp engages some Autobots in combat but takes damage and goes down.]

C: I am also down.

[CS: Skywarp begins to slowly move through a nearby doorway.  In the distance Starscream can be seen reviving Thundercracker.

Skywarp: You really told him, Starscream.

Starscream: Silence!  Soon the Decepticons will be mine to control and Megatron will serve me!]

C: I'm trying to scoot to safety.

[OS: Starscream transforms and flies over to Skywarp.  He begins to revive him.]

O: [laughs] Scoot to safety?

C: [laughs]

O: You're so cute, and yet you keep dying.

S: We all need the heals.

C: I don't know who's killing- ow!  What the-?

[SS: Thundercracker continues to shoot at Autobots while in vehicle mode.  A downed ally icon appears to Thundercracker’s right.]

O: Just gonna start singing, ‘You're Welcome,’ from Moana, in- here in a minute I swear to god.

[SS: The downed ally icon disappears.]

C: I don't remember the lyrics.

O: [singing] You’re welcome! [laughs]

C: Yeah, that’s the only part I can remember.

C: Oh by the way I’m down again, no wait…

O: I remember it being the Rock and being awesome.

[CS: The party is running/flying around continuing to take out Autobots.]

C: I’m not down, I thought I was.

S: No you’re not.

O: [laughs] “No you’re not.”

S: [laughs]

C: You almost sounded like- angry like, how dare you tell me you were dead!?!

S: [laughs]

[CS: Skywarp uses his spinning ability in and empty room, steadily heading towards where Starscream and Thundercracker are.]

O: Thundercracker got hopeful, you can’t do that to him!

S: [continues laughing]

C: Oh, wait, I can turn invisible, right?

[CS: Skywarp uses his other ability and turns invisible.]

O: Yeah.

S: Yes?

C: Oh my goodness!  I should have been using this.

S: Well, yeah.

[OS: The party has moved up to the upper floor and are fighting more Autobots.]

S: [sighs]

O: Are you gonna-

[Skywarp: Watch where you point that thing!]

O: [snorts]

[SS: Thundercracker and Skywarp take out the last Autobot, and the objective icon appears above a nearby console.

S: Okay, we gotta do a thing with this, so…

[SS: Starscream walks over to the panel, activating it.  A shield blocking a large tunnel in front of the party drops.  The party runs/flies on ahead.

Starscream: My wounds remain unrepaired!]

O: Seriously, is there health anywhere?  Because I think we all need health.

C: I haven’t seen any.

S: Yeah.

[Thundercracker: The station is only showing power levels at 50%.  There must be another terminal deeper underground.

OS: The tunnel is full of robotic arms and big lasers that appears to be running automatically.]

S: Ack!

O: Oh, christ…

S: Um.

[CS: Skywarp pulls ahead of Starscream, and another tentacled thing flies into the tunnel before being taken out by Skywarp and Starscream.]

C: Oh, there's more sentries.

[Thundercracker: I’m reading Autobot energy signatures up ahead.]

S: Yes, you guys are rather in front of me.

[CS: Thundercracker comes to a bend in the tunnel, where he finds a lone Autobot standing on a raised platform.]

C: Ah, there’s missiles!

[CS: Skywarp takes out the Autobot.

Skywarp: I do enjoy sniping!

Starscream: Afraid to take them head on, Skywarp?]

S: Uh, I don't know where you guys are.  I think I’m lost.

C: It’s- it’s a-

[SS: Thundercracker flies down the tunnel arriving at the end and turning to his left, when he sees Starscream and Skywarp shooting at Autobots.]

S: Oh.

[SS: Skywarp turns around.]

C: You’re right behind us.

S: Okay.

[Skywarp: I’m the fastest thing on two wings!

SS: Thundercracker takes heavy damage from the enemy snipers.]

S: Aw, nuts.

[OS: Starscream is standing on a platform shooting at the Autobots on the far side of the room with a Thermal Rocket Launcher.]

O: Somebody said I needed a rocket launcher, and I got one.

S: Oh!

[OS: Starscream transforms and flies over to another platform inside the large room where the Autobots have been attacking them from.  Thundercracker hovers over an energon cube.]

O: You should grab that.

[OS: Thundercracker grabs the health and flies off while Starscream ducks behind cover to avoid enemy fire.]

S: Thank you, health is helpful.

[Starscream: The destruction can begin!]

S: Oh.

[CS: An invisible Skywarp comes up behind an Autobot hiding behind a shield and hits him multiple times with his physical move, taking him down.]

S: Ahhhh!  I don’t like this!

C: [laughs]

S: [laughs] But when do I like-

[SS: Thundercracker flies forward towards the remaining Autobots on the far side of the room, but is downed at a nearby Autobot.]

C: You sounded like Monsters Inc.

S: [laughs]

C: [singing] Take that thing back where it came from-

C & O: [singing] Or so help me!

C: [singing] So help me!

S: S- s- sorry-

O: AMMO!  Sweet fucking god, ammo!

S: Sor- sorry, I’m dead.

C: I'm gonna try to get to you, I don't know if I can with all that firing going on.

[OS: Starscream takes out two of the nearby Aerialbots in rapid succession with his Null Ray.]

C: I could turn invisible and resurrect you, and they don't shoot me!

[OS: The downed ally icon disappears and Thundercracker and Skywarp fly on ahead, Starscream transforming into jet mode to follow them.]

S: Nice!  That is-

O: Well, I did kill them too, but sure.

C: No, but I mean they don't shoot at me while I'm going in for the rescue.

S: Well, yeah.

C: Sorry, this is rev- this is a revelation for me!

O: There’s ammo back there, by the way, if anybody needed it.

[OS: Thundercracker flies over to the platform indicated by Starscream and retrieves ammo.]

C: I don’t need it.

O: It’s over here.

C: I've been punching things to death.

S: [laughs]

O: Good to know.

C: It's an effective-

[OS: Starscream flies straight ahead through a waterfall, arriving in a small cubby with an Autobot symbol flanked by two shield chests.]

C: Oh!  There's an Autobot symbol and two shields back here!

[OS: Starscream runs forward, using a physical attack on the Autobot symbol before taking one of the shields for himself.]

O: I’ll take that, and THAT!

C: There was an Autobot symbol, and there was two shields!

S: [laughs]

C: Now there’s one shield.

O: But- but ah, Specs, you can have the other shield.

C: Yeah.

S: Okay, I’m just not entirely sure where you guys are?

[SS: Thundercracker is slowly flying towards a door the objective icon is indicating.]

O: I have my sniper rifle-!

C: Behind the-

O: Behind the waterfall.

S: Um.

O: I have my sniper rifle back, I’m so happy!

[SS: Thundercracker lands in front the door where a console is sitting.]

S: Oh, I found a thing to interact with, do you want me to interact with it?

C: Wait- wait- wait- wait, if you're not gonna take the shield I will.  Alright, interact-

S: Well-

C: Interact away!

[SS: Thundercracker looks to his left, and runs over and picks up some nearby health.]

S: Well, actually I'm gonna- there's health, do you guys need health?

C: No, cuz I got a shield.

[Thundercracker: That’s much better.]

S: Okay, there’s also ammo, and then interaction time.  I think I'm opening a door.

[SS: Thundercracker runs back to the console activating it.  The door opens on another large room, where an Autobot is standing directly in front of Thundercracker with his back to him.]

S: Oh shit.

[Autobot: Alert!  Alert!]

S: Ohhh!

[CS: Skywarp turns invisible and him and Thundercracker rush into the room and begin engaging with Autobots.]

O: Shit, where- what happened?

S: It opened-

O: I like, teleported or something.

S: Sorry.

C: Yeah, you were too far behind.

[CS: Skywarp walks up behind an Autobot while invisible and takes him down with his Energon mace.]

S: Alright, shoot, what is… there- there is a point here somewhere, but I'm not sure what it is?

C: It is to murder all of the Autobots scum.

[OS: While Thundercracker and Skywarp continue to run around the room, Starscream stays behind cover, sniping various Autobots, including the ones at the two turrets.]

C: Look what you've done to me, Specs and Owls.

S: [laughs]

O: What?

C: Turned me into a Decepticon!

[OS: Starscream takes several shoots at an Autobot chasing Thundercracker but misses.]

O: Yeah, you're playing with me.  I don't know what you expected here, sweetie.

[SS: Thundercracker continues to fight with the Autobot chasing him, dropping below one bar health.  Starscream runs over and shoots him before running back to cover.]

S: Oh sorry, I think I am... oh no, I'm not dead.  I am just... damaged?  Ohh~

[SS: Thundercracker sees one of the explosive items and walks backwards trying to shoot it, but doesn’t realize he’s using one of the healing guns so it does nothing.]

C: You know, the phrase, “What's your damage?” takes on a whole new meaning-

[SS: A downed ally icon appears, and Starscream flies through the nearby door in jet mode.]

C: Oh, I'm down.

S: I don’t know what this thing does…?

C: Uh, game’s gonna get it ended-

O: Um, where are you?

C: I went into some weird room, and the door closed behind me.

[CS: Skywarp is down, and the timer continues to tick down...]

S: [laughs]

[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears.]

O: [groans]

S: Well, I’m dead.  Chezni, was dead-

O: No, that was Chezni, that was all Chezni’s fault.

[OS: Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint.”]

C: Yeah.

O: I was still alive!

[OS: The party restarts right outside the closed door Thundercracker had previously opened, the screen reads, “New Objective: Re-route power to the energon bridge.”  Starscream walks forward and activates the console, opening the door.]

C: I didn’t know the door was gonna close behind me!

Note: There was no door, he just got lost lol ~O

C: I was just flying around minding my own business.

[Autobot: Watch out!  Decepticons!

OS: Starscream walks over to his right and picks up some ammo.  A Neutron Assault Rifle is right next to it.]

O: Oh guns!  Hello ammo.

C: There's some health here.

[OS: Starscream runs back over to the door and takes cover, aiming at the Autobots inside the room.]

O: I'm actually good.

[SS: Thundercracker runs forward trying to attack an Autobot.  The Autobot is destroyed by Starscream but Thundercracker hits an explosive barrel with his physical attack and goes down.]

O: Headshot, motherfucker, headshot.

S: I'm dead.

C: There's a turret up here!

[OS: Starscream takes out two Autobots near the fallen Thundercracker, then transforms and flies over, transforming back to revive him.]

S: Ohh~

[OS: Thundercracker is revived.]

S: Thank you.

O: You're welcome!

[OS: Starscream transforms back into vehicle mode and flies back to the boxes he’s been taking cover behind.]

S: Oh~

C: I'm definitely taking this turret with me.

[CS: Skywarp rips off a turret, jumps down from the platform he’s on and immediately shoots the two Autobots he’s landed in front of.]

S: Oh~

[SS: Thundercracker is in jet mode, shooting at some Autobots with sheilds at close range, but is shot and goes down.]

S: Oh.  I'm dead.  I found... a thing, that I guess is a- one of the things we're supposed to interact with but I'm also dead, and yeah, Autobots.

O: If I can find you.

[SS: Thundercracker blows up.]

S: Nope, I blew up.  That was me.

[OS: The Mission Failed screen appears and Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint.”]

O: [sighs] Everybody just wants to blow up today and obviously I'm not cool because I don't understand why people find it fun.

[OS: The party spawns back in the same room as before.  The screen reads, “New Objective: Re-route power to the energon bridge.”  Starscream walks over to the console and opens the door.]

S: I did not want to blow up!

[Autobot: Alert!  Alert!

CS/OS/SS: The party runs in and begins to fight with the various Autobots.  Starscream remains behind cover sniping, while Skywarp and Thundercracker get more up close and personal with the enemy.]

S: Oh, it's a plasma cannon.  Oh, I'm out.

[CS: Skywarp is fighting with two Autobots with shields.  A downed ally icon appears to his right, before Skywarp goes down as well.  Skywarp begins to slowly float towards an opening to get back into the main room where the other Seekers are.]

C: Shoot, so am I.

[OS: Starscream is in the middle reviving Thundercracker.]

O: You two are killing me.

S: Sorry!

[OS: Starscream transforms and flies up to Skywarp to begin reviving him.]

S: Ah, nuts to you Autobot.

C: I'm trying to fly down.

[OS: Starscream’s thinking “Help me, don’t help me!” as Skywarp flies past him while he’s trying to revive him.  But Skywarp is successfully revived.]

O: You’re lucky I still have a shield left.

C: [laughs]

O: Are you alive?

C: Yep.

[CS: Skywarp continues to fight Autobots.]

O: Okay!  Everybody's still alive!

[SS: Thundercracker is fighting two shield Autobots and goes down.]

S: Sorry, I'm dead.

C & S: [laugh]

O: You’ve gotta be kidding me!

[CS: The Mission Failed screen appears and Owls selects, “Restart from Last Checkpoint.”]

C: Ah, so… I need to stop dying

O: I'm doing nothing wrong, got it?

[CS: The party starts at the checkpoint.]

C: [laughs]

O: I'm doing nothing wrong, that's what I thought!  Also, I'm taking this fucking ammo, okay?

[CS: Starscream runs past Skywarp and picks up some ammo.]

C: Okay!

[CS: Starscream opens the door.

Autobot: Alert!  Alert!]

O: [laughs]  We're just gonna call this in the chapter were Specs did nothing wrong.  Not a single thing! [Nothing like saying the wrong name for MYSELF, I meant Owls here ~O]

[CS: Skywarp immediately shoots the Autobot on the other side of the door before he can even turn around.]

C & S: [laugh]

[OS: Starscream shoots at an Autobot at one of the turrets, missing the first shot but getting him on the second.]

O: Oh my god, I'm hitting you, fucker!

[OS: Starscream continues to shoot at Autobots with his Null Ray from behind cover.]

S: Oh.

[CS: Skywarp rips off one of the turrets.

Skywarp: If Skywarp wants it, Skywarp takes it!

CS: He destroys multiple Autobots using the turret.]

C: Oh my goodness, are we alive?

[OS: Starscream continues to shoot at Autobots, heading into some of the narrower hallways connected to the main room they’ve been fighting in, following Thundercracker.]

S: Yes... somewhat, sort of.

O: Do you need that health?

[SS: Thundercracker walks past an energon cube.]

S: I've got three bars.

O: Take it because I still have a shield.

S: Um.

[CS: Skywarp is fighting several Autobots with shields, taking damage from various grenades that are being lobbed around the room.  He runs over to take out one of the Autobots with his physical attack, but goes down after killing them.]

C: Oh, ah, man I fell.  I'm on the left top room.

[SS: Starscream runs past Thundercracker and over to Skywarp and revives him.  Thundercracker walks over to a console.]

S: Oh.  It looks like, uh, do you want me to interact with this thing?

O: Uh, just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything in here, then yes.

C: I want this turret first.

O: Okay, let him take the turret.  Skywarp wants a souvenir turret!

[SS: Skywarp runs over to a turret and rips it off, while the other two Seekers stay near the console.]

S: [laughs]

O: That’s what I’m calling it, okay.

C: All right, this is my new toy.

O: Okay, now that everybody's happy-

[CS: Thundercracker activates the console, opening the door right in front of them.  Skywarp runs over and the party begins to shoot at the Autobots on the other side of the door.  Thundercracker is using a gun that shoots blue energy out of it, and it doesn’t seem to be affecting the enemies.]

S: Ahh!  Hi, Autobots!

C: [laughs] I don’t know why, but the way you said that was funny.

[Starscream: Nothing will stop me!  Blast those locks!

OS: The party continues shooting Autobots, as well as some locks on a door to the left.]

O: Did you pick up a healing gun!?!

C: What?

S: Me?  No?

O: I saw it healing things!  I don’t know where it was coming from, maybe it was an Autobot…

S: Uh, it's some sort of plasma thing?

O: Huh.

[SS: Thundercracker walks up to a closed door, it starts to open and he backs up.]

S: Uhhh!

[SS: The door opens, revealing no Autobots inside.]

S: Ohh!~

O: Health, thank you.

[SS: Thundercracker shoots the blue ray again and Skywarp walks up beside him..]

C: Actually, yeah, Specs has some kind of weird... I don't know what it is?

S: I don’t know, it’s a plasma gun, I don’t know.

O: Can you show-

[SS: Thundercracker swaps his gun from an Energon Repair Ray to a Plasma Cannon.]

S: Well, that’s a plasma-

O: Yeah, that one.

[SS: Thundercracker swaps back to the Energon Repair Ray, and backs away from Starscream and Skywarp.]

S: Oh, I've got an Energon Repair Ray, oh.

O: Yeah!  You’ve got a healing gun.

S: Okay, you’re- Owls you’re fully healed.  Lemme-

[SS: Starscream backs away from where Skywarp is standing.]

O: I’m fully healed.

S: When the hell did I get that?

O: I don't know.

[SS: Thundercracker heals Skywarp not quite to full health before swapping to his Plasma Cannon, which has no ammo left.

Skywarp: Now we’re talking!]

S: Sorry, but I'm all out of ammo, so I need to be a plane.

[SS: Thundercracker transforms into vehicle mode.]

C: [laughs]

[Starscream: All right… this station seems to funnel power directly to the Energon Bridge.

Thundercracker: Those are the Energon Bridge’s power control panels.

SS: The door closes in front of Thundercracker, locking him out of the room Starscream and Skywarp have walked into.]

S: Oh, um, I'm sorry, I'm on the wrong side of the door.

C: It’ll probably-

O: Hopefully, you’ll teleport?

C: -yeah.

[OS: An in-game cinematic starts, with the three Seekers walking around a large room full of various boxes, equipment, and tubes.  A door opens in front of Starscream, revealing a console, in front of some pod-like machine things behind glass.

Skywarp: Wow, Starscream--that WAS impressive.

Starscream: Silence, fool!  We need to supply these side terminals with their energon power cells.]

S: Oh yeah, good.

[OS: Starscream activates the console, but nothing moves.  Two red targets appear on either side of the glass panel.

Thundercracker:  Looks like the Autobots have locked these power cells down.

Starscream: Quickly--destroy the locks!]

S: Uh..

C: Destroy the locks?  Alright.

[CS: The party shoots at the locks, destroying them.]

C: Welp, we destroyed the locks!  Now what, fearless leader?

O: [screechy voice] Oh, don't ‘fearless leader’ me!

[CS: An in-game cinematic starts, and the three pod things behind glass move downwards, under the floor before getting destroyed.

Skywarp: What happened now!

Starscream: The Autobots have booby trapped this room.  Fools!

Skywarp: Wait--are you calling US fools, or the Autobots fools?]

O: [laughs]

[Skywarp: Because--I’m not getting the sense that you respect me!]

C & O: [laugh]

[Starscream: Silence!  Fool!

Skywarp: That’s EXACTLY what I’m talking about!]

O: [snorts and then laughs] I mean...

C: “Starscream!  I’m getting the distinct impression you don't respect me!”

[Starscream: This is almost too easy.  Quickly, find the other power terminals.

SS: Thundercracker flies around the outskirts of the room, but doesn’t see anything unusual.]

S: [laughs] Okay-

O: [screechy voice]  Respect?  What is that?  Some sort of Earth TERM?

C: ...Yes.

S: Umm, I'm not entirely sure what I should be doing?

C: Nah, I’m pretty lost too.

O: Uh, there's probably a power cell that we need to destroy- er, I destroyed one of them.

[Skywarp: Now we’re talkin’!]

O: Maybe?  ...Maybe not.  Maybe they just want to fuck with us.

[OS: Starscream is flying around near the floor, attempting to follow a glowing red conduit.]

O: Is that-

C: Oh, there's- no, we’ve got to follow the conduit.

S: Oh, the-

C: So follow the red glowy thing that's running along the floor.

S: Okay.

C: And then it goes up?

O: Cuz like, I killed one of them…

[CS: Skywarp continues to fly around the room.]

O: Hmm, no.

[CS: Skywarp follows a conduit that loops behind some of the boxes and other piping and finds one of the power cells.]

C: Oh, it's up here, hang on.

[CS: Skywarp destroys the power cell.

Starscream: Excellent, now keep looking--there should be just one more.

SS: Thundercracker shoots the last power cell.

Thundercracker: Energy barriers are 100% offline.

Starscream: Perfect!  Now--get these power cells into position!]

C: Wait a minute!  Can something not be a hundred percent offline? I mean, it’s- it's either on or off, you can't be in the middle.

O: [screechy voice] Shut up Skywarp!

C: [laughs]

O: [laughs] I'm sorry I can't resist.

C: Oh, I love it.

S: Alright, er-

O: Cool, where do we go now, dum-dums?

[OS: Starscream is walking around on the bottom of the room looking around for another console or something to activate.]

C: Right- right!?

O: [screechy voice] Fools!  Which way do we go!?

C: I don’t know what to do!

[OS: Starscream transforms and begins to slowly fly around the room looking for what they’re supposed to activate.

Thundercracker: The side terminals are showing power levels at maximum.]

S: I don’t know.  I mean, this looks like a door but...

[Starscream: Hahahaha!  We are but one click away from activating the full power of the Energon bridge!]

O: Cool.  How?

[OS: Starscream transforms, landing next to the now visible console, activating it.]

O: There we go, this one. [mutters something unintelligible]

[CS: The equipment in the room lights up, and begins transmitting energy.]

C: WOAH!  What the- ?

[Starscream: I did it!  Look at all that power flowing!  Onward, Decepticons!]

S: To where?

O: Space crack.  We have sup- supplied or booty call with space crack.

S: [laughs] Ah.  Okay, yes, out the door.

[CS: Activating the console has opened a door to a tunnel leading downwards.  The party enters.

Thundercracker: I am detecting an unknown energy signature nearby.  Off the scale…

Starscream: Then we are close - the Energon Bridge must be nearby.

OS: The party arrives in a large circular room.  A machine stands in the center, with flooring that is a mixture of metal frames and glass radiating from the center.  Above the machine there appears to be another glass platform of some kind going around the edge of the room.

Starscream: The device must be inside that machine.  Plant a Dark Energon Det-Pack on its power cable to activate it.

Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--]

S: Uh…

[Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings!  Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!

OS: Starscream flies forward and transforms, landing in front of the device indicated by the UI, and plants a detpack on it.]

C: [laughs] Your READINGS!

S: Uh, I got locked out again.

[OS: The detpack explodes, and, “New Objective: Destroy the Energon Bridge Guardian,” pops up.

An in-game cinematic starts, the machine activates, with the upper portion lifting up and firing its guns at the party.

Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!]

S: Okay, yay, it teleported me.

[Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of.  Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.]

C: Wait.  We're on Cybertron?

O: Yeah.

S: I guess.

[Skywarp: What contamination?

Starscream: He means US, you idiot!

OS: The Seekers all dodge a blast from device’s guns.  The camera focuses on Starscream as he flips into the air, transforming into jet mode.]

C: [laughs]

[Starscream: Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!]

S: Mm.

[SS: The upper portion of the device begins to rotate as it continues shooting.  Thundercracker hovers, shooting the machine.]

S: Alright, by- ?  Okay?  What am I supposed to be shooting?

[CS: Skywarp is shooting at the devices guns.]

C: Uh, if your reticle turns red it means you're hitting something.  I think it's the big- the big red circles is what you want to be aiming for on the machine, but not-

S: Um.

C: Oddly enough, not the big one in the center.

[CS: The device stops shooting and drops its guns, but other portions of the machine open up and begin generating wide pink laser beams that begin rotating.  There is an upper beam and lower beam, they are currently rotating in opposite directions to each other.

Thundercracker: Evade those beams!

Skywarp: Move!  Move!  Move!]

S: Oh.

C: I know that doesn't make a lot of sense but…

S: Sorry, I'm not entirely sure…?

[OS: Starscream and Thundercracker are flying around trying to avoid the beams.]

C: Well, right now we just need to be dodging the beam.

S: I'm... doing very badly at that!

C: Now shoot the small red circles.

[OS: The machine stops and the center opens up revealing a power core.]

O: Oh, no, shoot the Power Core!

[Starscream: The machine is vulnerable!  Focus your fire on the core!]

C: Yeah, now we need to shoot the power core.

S: Oh.

[OS: The party shoots the power core, and then the machine closes up, raising it’s guns and beginning to shoot again.]

S: Well, nuts.

C: Now go back to shooting the red- the red lights on the guns.

[CS: Skywarp circles around the machine, shooting at the guns.

Skywarp: Are we even hurting this thing?

Starscream: Not with your pathetic aim!  Focus fire on those guns!]

S: Oh sorry, I’m dead.

C: Uh, where are ya?

[CS: A downed ally icon appears on the other side of the room.  Skywarp begins flying around the machine to get to the other side.]

O: I see ya.

[CS: Another downed ally icon appears next to the first.]

O: I am also dead.

C: No!

O: Help?

C: I'm coming!

[CS: Skywarp zips towards Starscream and Thundercracker but overshoots.]

C: Shoot.

[CS: Thundercracker explodes as Skywarp turns around.]

S: Sorry, I'm dead.  Possibly we're all dead?

[SS: The game over screen displays.]

C: Well the show can't carry on without Skywarp!

S: [laughs]

[SS: The party spawns in the boss room.  “New Objective: Activate the Energon Bridge,” appears in the right hand corner.]

O: You mean Thunderacker!

C: Or Thundercracker, which one are you?

S: [laughs]

[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--

Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings!  Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!]

C: Jet A and Jet B.

O: I'm gonna make you build one of my model kits so that you'll remember which one- like, which one we're talking about.

[OS: New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen.]

C: They're both the same!

[OS: The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays.

Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!]

O: [gruff voice] You're ugly! [normal voice] WE LOOK THE SAME! [laughs]

[Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of.  Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.]

C: And then there's red whiny jet, but at least I remember him.

S: [laughs]

[Skywarp: What contamination?

Starscream: He means US, you idiot!]

O: [screechy voice] Excuse me! I'm white, and red, and blue.  If you're going to insult me, at least have the decency to do it right.

[Starscream: Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!]

S: Mm.

C: Yeah, I'll let Megatron take care of that.

O: Shut up. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

[CS/OS: The party targets the device’s guns, until it drops it’s guns and activates it’s beams.

Thundercracker: Evade those beams!

Skywarp: Move!  Move!  Move!

SS: Thundercracker gets hit by one of the beams, taking away an significant portion of his health.  He attempts to fly higher, to where the upper glass platform is clearly visible, but is stopped by an invisible barrier.]

S: Uh, shit.

[SS: The machine stops and the center opens up revealing a power core.  The party shoots at it.

Starscream: The machine is vulnerable!  Focus your fire on the core!]

S: Why would they design it like that?

C: [laughs]

O: It has to cool off, I don't know.

[OS: The machine closes up, raising it’s guns and beginning to shoot again.  The party targets the guns.

Skywarp: Are we even hurting this thing?

Starscream: Not with your pathetic aim!  Focus fire on those guns!]

C: [laughs] That’s a perfectly valid question!

S: It's a shitty ass design!

C: It would be like if you created a giant weapon, but like, every two minutes it had to open up and expose its weakness.

S: [laughs]

[Skywarp:  Ha!  He’s not so tough!

SS: The device stops and drops it’s guns, preparing to generating the beams.]

O: What?  That's like, what video games do, isn't it?

C: Yeah, yeah, video games.

[SS: Thundercracker banks to the right to get away from the part of the machine that will generate the beams.]

S: Oh shit, woop.

O: Uh, you okay?

S: Yeah.  Okay, it’s just now it's time to fly.

[Megatron (COM): Starscream!  What is taking so long!

Starscream: Just a slight delay…

SS: The spinning beams start up again.  Thundercracker again tries to pull upwards but is still blocked by the invisible wall.  He is hit by a beam, but not destroyed.]

C: Oh no, I got cut in half.

S: Same…

[SS: The game over screen displays.]

A: [laugh]

O: Woooow.

A: [continue to laugh]

O: I just-

C: That’s unfortunate.

[SS: The party spawns in the boss room.  “New Objective: Activate the Energon Bridge,” appears in the right hand corner.]

O: You’re, like, required, when you edit this, honey, to like, go back and forth between me being a badass... and you two.

C & S: [laugh]

[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--

Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings!  Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!]

S: Look-

O: I mean that is the most loving way possible.

S: Look, I've been useful, sometimes!

O: [laughs]

[SS: The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays.

Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!]

C: “I’ve been useful!”

O: [laughs]

C: “...sometimes!”

[Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of.  Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.]

O & S: [laugh]

O: I’m just saying, it’s very funny when it’s like, um-

[Skywarp: What contamination?

Starscream: He means US, you idiot!  Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!

CS: The party fires on the guns.]

O: Oh, I got cut in half and here I am flying like a badass, and I’m like, “Cut in half!?”

[SS: The device drops it’s guns and activates it’s beams.]

S: Ugh..

[Thundercracker: Evade those beams!

Skywarp: Move!  Move!  Move!]

S: Oh, shit.  Shit.

[SS: Thundercracker is flying around trying to avoid the beams, but nicks them several times before running into the center of the machine, which apparently is an insta-death.]

S: I hate... these pink things!

[SS: The game over screen displays.]

A: [laugh]

[Starscream: The device must be inside that machine.  Plant a Dark Energon Det-Pack on its power cable to activate it.

SS: The party spawns in the boss room.  “New Objective, activate the energon bridge,” displays in the right hand corner for disappearing.]

O: Death!  Pink horrible death!

S: [laughs]

[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--

Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings!  Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!

OS: Starscream flies forward, transforming and planting the detpak.]

C: Your ‘readings!’

O: [screechy voice] Your ‘readings’!

[OS: The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays.  New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen.

Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!

Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of.  Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.

Skywarp: What contamination?

Starscream: He means US, you idiot!  Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!]

S: I got to be Sky- Thundercracker... the scientist.  For some reason.

[OS: The party target the guns.]

O: I mean, honestly, I think- I think I love it?  Skywarp’s [Thundercracker’s] the one that's like, “Oh my god, I fucking told you so, asshole!”

S: [laughs]

[SS: Thundercracker has destroyed the front portion of the guns directly in front of him, beams are no longer shooting  from that part.]

S: Ohh~  That was… helpful.

[CS: The guns drop.]

C: Okay, so I would recommend if you have trouble avoiding the blades-

[CS: Skywarp attempts to fly up to the secondary glass platform, but is also blocked by an invisible wall.  The machine activates the laserbeams.]

S: Yeah.

C: Oh, they won't let you.  They don't let you fly up!

[CS: The party dodges the laserbeams.]

S: Yes, I'm trying to fly up!

C: That's ridiculous!

O: Just fly in the same direction as one of them.  Whether it’s the top or the bottom.

[CS: The game over screen displays.]

S: I know.  I had tried that and they kept catching up to me.

O: You've got to speed up.

C: Oh yeah-

S: I’m using the thrusters!

C: You are?

O: Okay, if you stay more near the middle you have to travel less distance.

[CS: The party spawns in the boss room.  “New Objective, activate the energon bridge,” displays in the right hand corner for disappearing.]

C: Yeah.

O: Don't go all the way out.

[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--

Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings!  Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!

CS: Skywarp flies up to the glass platform that’s inaccessible during the fight.]

C: But yeah, look!  I'm totally up here!  You can fly up here before the boss battle starts, but then when it starts it won't let you fly out, that's ridiculous.

[CS: Skywarp flies over to the device in the center of the room and lands on top of it.]

C: Look, I'm on its head!

[CS: New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen.  The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays.

Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!

S: [laughs]

C: I was!

[Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of.  Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.

Skywarp: What contamination?

Starscream: He means US, you idiot!]

S: I saw that.

C: And then it's like, oh no, you're fighting it you can't do the smart thing and you know fly away!

O: Even though we're fucking jets.

C: Right!

[Starscream: Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!

SS: The party targets the guns.]

S: [sighs]

[SS: The device drops it’s guns, and begins generating the laserbeams.

Thundercracker: Evade those beams!

Skywarp: Move!  Move!  Move!

SS: Thundercracker hangs close to the middle, but accidentally touches the center of he device, dying instantly.  The game over screen displays.]

S: Okay, I don't know what the hell killed me, but I died.

C: We're gonna have to figure this out.

S: I guess I was too close to it?  I touched it, I didn't touch the pink stuff.

[OS: Owls selects, “Continue from Last Checkpoint.”]

O: Yeah, don’t touch it.  Don’t touch it.

[Starscream: The device must be inside that machine.  Plant a Dark Energon Det-Pack on its power cable to activate it.

OS: The party spawns in the boss room.  “New Objective, activate the energon bridge,” displays in the right hand corner for disappearing.  Starscream flies forward and transforms, dropping to the platform below, and planting a detpack on it.]

C: So how much health do you have coming into this fight?

S: Full hel- full health.

C: Okay

[Thundercracker: My scans indicate that--

Starscream: I’ve had enough of your readings!  Use Dark Energon and corrupt the machine!]

C: When- when we activate- when it activates the blades one of us needs to find Specs and guide her.

S: [laughs]

[OS: New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen.  The same cinematic of the device activating from before plays.

Skywarp: Whoa… what’s happening?!

O: Or- just maybe follow Chezni, and see if that helps?

S: Uhh… I’ll try.

[Thundercracker: Precisely what I was afraid of.  Cybertron is trying to purge itself of contamination.

Skywarp: What contamination?

Starscream: He means US, you idiot!  Quit blabbing and destroy this nuisance!

CS: The party targets the guns.]

C: All right, I'll try and keep an eye on you.

[CS: Skywarp looks to his left and sees Thundercracker off in the distance.]

C: All right, there you are.

[CS: The machine drops its guns and Skywarp flies over next to Thundercracker.]

C: All right, Specs, come down here!

S: I'm following you.

C: All right.  Now we're just gonna fly in this direction.

[SS: Skywarp takes off as the beams start, Thundercracker stalls and gets hit by one of them before angling himself upwards and hitting one of the upper beams.]

S: Well, shit.

[SS: Thundercracker drops to the lower level and begins flying in the same direction as the pink laserbeam.]

S: Yes I'm flying in the direction of the pink…

[SS: The beams deactivate.]

S: [quietly] Shit, god.

C: That worked!

S: Thank you.  Ugh.

[SS: Thundercracker flies over to a glass cage thing with multiple energon cubes visible inside.  He destroys the cage and picks up some health.]

S: Oh, there's health.

[Starscream: The machine is vulnerable!  Focus your fire on the core!]

O: By all means take it.

C: Yeah, I don't need it.

[OS: Starscream and Skywarp take aim at the device’s power core.  Once the health drops a bit, the machine closes back up and raises its guns.  The party targets the guns.

Skywarp: Are we even hurting this thing?

Starscream: Not with your pathetic aim!  Focus fire on those guns!]

S: Hmmm.

[Skywarp: Ha!  He’s not so tough!

S: Ugh.

[OS: The machine drops it’s guns and activates it’s laserbeams.  The party flies around to avoid them.

Megatron (COM): Starscream!  What is taking so long!]

O: [snorts]

[Starscream: Just a slight delay...]

O: [laughs]

[Megatron (COM): I’m beginning to question your ability to deliver, Starscream.  Do not disappoint me!]

S: The booty call.

O: The booty call is being a jerk! [laughs]

C: “Just freshening up, boss!”

[OS: The machine drops the laserbeams and exposes its power core and the party shoots it.]

O: [laughs, before continuing on in a screechy voice] I'm TRYING to not be cut in two right now!

C: Okay, one more round!  One more round, right!?

[CS: The machine closes off the core.]

O: I do not have a ton of health left right now.

S: Um.

[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?

Starscream: Who cares?  Just be ready for it!

CS: Lava is visible rising through the glass floor portions of the room.  Everything takes on an orangey-red glow.]

O: Oh dear.

[Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!]

S: Uh, shit.  I don’t know what’s happening.

[SS: The glass floor panels begin to explode.]

C: Lava.  Lava is happening.

S: Oh, goody.

[SS: The entire floor is covered with lava, except for a slightly raised ring around the base of the device.]

C: And missiles.

[SS: Fireballs come up out of the lava and target the party.]

S: Whilst I fly randomly, because I don't know what the hell I'm…

O: I mean, look, that's pretty much what we're doing.

C: Yeah, to be honest, I think that's to your benefit.

S: [laughs]

[OS: The machine generates the laserbeams again, but this time, both the upper and lower portions are stacked on top of each other and there’s easy way to move past them.]

S: Ah!

C: You’re kidding me.

S: Crap.

O: No, no-

[OS: Starscream hovers in place and is downed by fireballs.]

O: Oh damn it!

C: Are you down?

O: Uh, I’m down, I'm down.

C: All right, I…

[OS: The laserbeams begin moving and hit Starscream, cutting him in half.  The game over screen displays.]

O: And then I got cut in half.  Cool beans.

C: [laughs]

S: Okay.

O: I hope there was a checkpoint in the middle!

[SS: The party spawns in at the point of the fight where the lava starts to rise through the floor.]

C: [sarcastically] “I did nothing wrong!”

O: Uh-huh, up until that point I had not!

[SS: Thundercracker points towards the glass cages filled with energon.]

S: So- so- so you see the things that are down at the bottom? Those all have health in them.

[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?

Starscream: Who cares?  Just be ready for it!

Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!]

S: Those cages, with cubes.

C: Gotcha.

S: There's cages with cubes!

[SS: The lava begins rising.]

C & S: [laugh]

[CS: Skywarp stops flying and turns towards the cages.]

C: Oh, those things!  I see, she's right there totally health in them.  That’s a lot of health!

[CS: The glass floor panels begin to explode.]

O: I plan on- yeah.

[OS: The party flies around, trying to avoid the fireballs.]

S: I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now?

C: Just fly away.

S: [laugh]

C: We're waiting for the machine to open up.

 C: Essentially we're just dodging the fireball missiles.  Cuz, you know, Cybertron decided (logically speaking) the best way to purge viruses from its core-

[SS: The machine generates the double laserbeams, Thundercracker flies right though the center and takes damage but doesn’t immediately die.  But then he accidently transforms and falls into the lava.]

S: Goddammit! [laughs]

C: -was to have fireball missiles!

[SS: The Mission Failed screen appears.]

S: I- I’m sorry. [laughs] That was me.

[SS: The party spawns at the battle midpoint.]

O: Hey, at least- at least we have a checkpoint, okay.  At least we have a checkpoint.

[CS: Skywarp shoots some of the energon cages and picks up some health.

Skywarp: Now I’m all shiny again!]

C: [laughs] I’m all shiny again.

[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?

Starscream: Who cares?  Just be ready for it!

CS: The lava rises and the glass panels begin to break.

Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!

CS/OS/SS: The party flies around the machine, avoiding fireballs.]

C: Evasive maneuvers, otherwise known as flying around in a circle.

S: [laughs]

C: These are top-tier strategies right here.

S: Yeah, just fly randomly and- [laughs]

C: [laughs]

O: Pray.

C: It’s genius!

S: [laughs]

C: Wait, who are we praying to?

O: [attempting to imitate Skywarp] “Hey, boss!  I’m a genius!”

[OS: The laserbeams activate.]

C: Uh, isn’t- who is it, Drift?  Is Drift a god?

S: No…

O: No, Primus- Rung is, dear.

C: Rung, yeah.

[OS: The laserbeams begin to rotate.

Megatron (COM): Starscream!  What is taking so long!

Starscream: Just a slight delay…

OS: Thundercracker is visible in the distance running into one of the laserbeams and getting cut in half.]

S: Oh, shit.  Shit, AHHH!

[OS: The game over screen displays.]

S: I got cut in half.

O: [laughs] I saw that.

A: [laugh]

[OS: Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint,” and the party spawns at the previous checkpoint.]

C: Okay, so Specs, I'm sure you know this but just to go over it strategically.

S: [laughs]

[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?

Starscream: Who cares?  Just be ready for it!

CS: The lava rises and the explosions start happening.  The party flies around avoiding fireballs.

Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!]

C: You're doing great dodging the fireballs, but eventually when those blades come out they start very slowly.  You need to-

S: [still laughing] I knoooow!

C: Okay.

O: “I knoooow!”

C & S: [laughs]

O: What I’m getting from this is that Thundercracker is like, the worst flyer out of these three?

C: [laughs]

S: [laughs] Thundercracker is a scientist!

O: [laughs] So is Starscream, supposedly!  Apparently, his flight is affected by how much he wants a booty call.

O & S: [laugh]

C: I mean-

S: Granted, you know, probably part of my issue is that my mouse is, you know, a rollerball one.

[SS: The laserbeams come up just as Thundercracker is flying, and he manages to fly through the middle, only taking minor damage.  He stops once on the other side of the beam.]

C: Oh right, she's playing with that crazy rollerball- rollerball mouse.  That would be pretty hard.

[SS: The dual laserbeams begin moving.

Megatron (COM): Starscream!  What is taking so long!

Starscream: Just a slight delay...]

C: All right, now they're gonna start moving you need to slowly-

S: Yes! I am- I am zooming! [laughs]

O: I think you mean, “NYRMING”.

[Megatron (COM): I’m beginning to question your ability to deliver, Starscream.  Do not disappoint me!

O: Oh shit!

[OS: The laserbeams stop, and Starscream goes through the middle of them.]

S: Oh shit!  I can’t turn around!

[OS: The laserbeams begin moving in the opposite direction from before.  Starscream turns around but off in the distance Thundercracker goes through them.]

S: Oh, it didn’t kill me.  Shit!

[CS: Skywarp is attempting to get health from one of the energon cages but one of the laserbeams hits him and kills him.]

C: Are you kidding me?

[CS: The game over screen displays.]

O: ARGH!  Which of us died!?

C: That was me.

O: Oh my god it was you!

C: Yup.

O: I blame you!

[CS: The party restarts at the checkpoint.]

O: I went through the middle of them and didn't die, earlier!

C: Yup.

O: I was so proud of myself and this is what I have to deal with!

C: [sighs] I am so sorry.

[Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?

Starscream: Who cares?  Just be ready for it!]

S: And be aware that there is, in fact, Energon, or heal.

[OS: The lava begins to rise and blow up the glass panels below.  The party flies around avoiding fireballs.

Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!]

C: Yeah, no, that’s actually what got me killed.

O: That doesn’t help when you just get cut in half.

C: Um, I went in for the Energon and then, uh...

S: Then you died.

C: Yep.

S: [laughs] That happened to me.  That was like, not the most recent death but…

O: I did not need to get hit by the fireballs, thank you!

S: Good-bye, fireballs! [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: [laughs] Sorry, for some reason I always find it really amusing when- when I die.

[SS: The laserbeams come up and Thundercracker isn’t able to stop in time and goes through them and then turns around and goes through them again, dropping his health below one bar.]

S: Ahhh!  Shhhit.

[SS: The laserbeams start moving as Thundercracker shoots one of the cages and grabs some energon.

Megatron (COM): Starscream!  What is taking so long!]

C: Okay, so they're gonna go clockwise and then when they turn off they go counterclockwise.

[SS: One of the laserbeams hits Thundercracker, but then stop.  Thundercracker turns around and starts heading the other direction.

Starscream: Just a slight delay...]

Megatron (COM): I’m beginning to question your ability to deliver, Starscream.  Do not disappoint me!]

S: Oh, okay, that happened.

C: Now turn around and go the other way.

[CS: The laserbeams begin moving in the opposite direction.]

C: And I don't know what they're gonna do after this you're on your own.

S: I’m gonna follow- ah!

[CS: Thundercracker runs into Skywarp.  The two turn around and begin to head the other direction.]

C: This isn’t bumper jets!

[OS: The beams split up again, with the top and bottom moving in different directions.  The two halves line up when they stop, Starscream tries to bank but accidentally transforms instead, falling into the lava.]

O: Oh shit- ARGHHH!

[OS: The game over screen displays.]

O: Dammit.

C: WELL-

O: Wait-

[OS: Owls selects Load from last checkpoint.]

C: Look who died!

O: Shut up.

S: [laughs]

O: Just shut up.

[OS: The party restarts at the checkpoint.]

C: Ahh, this is fun, isn’t this fun?

O: Shut up.

C: It is fun, I’m gla- I’m glad to be a part of this!

O: Shut up! [laughs]

[OS: New Objective, “Destroy the energon bridge guardian,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen.

Skywarp: What is it doing NOW?

Starscream: Who cares?  Just be ready for it!]

S: I’m-

C: [laughs]

S: Pre-destroying shit now.

[Thundercracker: Evasive maneuvers!

SS: The lava rises and begins to destroy the glass panels.  The party flies around, avoiding fireballs.]

C: You gotta admit though, if these three guys were just normal scientists who decided to wake up one day and do all this, that's pretty badass.

S: Decide to just be evil.

O: Oh no!

[OS: Starscream is flying around near the lava with very little health.  He shoots an energon cage and picks up some health.]

C: No, well, that and fly down here and do all this crazy stuff.

S: Yeah.

[OS: The dual laserbeams appear.]

S: Oh!  Shhhit.

C: Oh crap!

C: I flew right into those blades.

S: Uh, shit.

[Megatron (COM): Starscream!  What is taking so long!

S: Okie dokie.

[OS: The beams begin moving.

Starscream: Just a slight delay...]

O: [snorts]

Megatron (COM): I’m beginning to question your ability to deliver, Starscream.  Do not disappoint me!

OS: The blades reverse direction.]

O: [snorts] I'm sorry, I don't know why I find that funny, but I do. [laughs]

S: Egh!

[SS: The top and bottom blades begin moving in opposite directions.]

S: It's like, I must now move!

[SS: Thundercracker boosts forward as the blades stop, narrowly missing them.]

S: But not too fast!  Shit!

[SS: The blades disappear and the machine exposes it’s core.]

C: We did it!  We did it!  Shoot that core!

[Starscream: The machine is vulnerable!  Focus your fire on the core!

OS: The core is destroyed.]

O: Oh thank freakin’ god!

S: Phew.  Fuck!

[OS: The machine folds in on itself and a black claw like mechanical things come out of the middle, seemingly infecting the lava with dark energon.  One of the arms goes up through the ceiling creating a hole.

Skywarp: Wait!  Something’s happening!

Starscream: YES!  It’s crumbling before the MIGHT of STARSCREAM!]

O: Is that what we're calling this?

[Starscream: To the surface, Decepticons!

OS: New Objective, “Escape to the surface,” displays in the bottom right corner of the screen.]

S: Uh, I guess we're supposed to go up there?

[OS: Starscream enters the tunnel from the created hole.  Dark energon appears to be causing black spikey structures to grow up through the tunnel as the party flies upwards.]

S: Uh, okay.

[Skywarp: The machine is out of control!

Thundercracker: It must be a side effect of the Dark Energon!]

C: Great shot kid, that was one in a million.

O: [snorts]

C: [laughs]

C: I can’t remember any of the other lines.

[OS: The party continues to fly upwards.]

S: Sorry, I only- I only sorta know where I’m-

O: Where you’re going?

C: Just fly up.  It's the Death Star, we're getting out of this thing.

[OS: An in-game cinematic plays, as the 3 Seekers exit to the surface of Cybertron, the black growths continue to grow into a platform below.  A large machine on 4 spider like legs begins to move.

Skywarp: We’ve done it!  The Energon Bridge is activating!]

S: It’s elephant toothpaste.

C: What!?

S: [laughs]

[Note: If you are as confused as we were this is elephant toothpaste. ~O]

[OS: The Seekers transform, landing on a nearby platform.

Thundercracker: Incredible.  The Energon Bridge is active once more.]

C: That's a bridge!?  That looks like a giant spider!

S: Kind of.

[Starscream: Quiet!  You’re ruining my moment of Glory!  Soon, my Orbital Station will be at full power!]

O: [screechy voice] Shut up twos!  A ten is talking! [laughs]

C: [laughs]

[Megatron: YOUR orbital station, Starscream?  Surely you mean MINE.

O: [snorts]

[Megatron: I see you have finally succeeded in the simple task I gave you.  Perhaps you’re not as worthless as I thought.  Report back to base--at once!

OS: The spider device activates, bringing energon up from below and sending it upwards towards the orbital station.  The three Seekers take to the air flying back to base.]

O: [volume has been reduced] Oww!

[A cinematic plays - the beam of energon bounces around between what appears to be multiple satellites before reaching the orbital station from the first chapter.  Soundwave gestures to the now online machinery.

Soundwave: All systems online.  Dark Energon manufacturing at optimal efficiency.]

S: Okay, so is that the end of that map?

O: I think so, but…

[Megatron walks up beside Soundwave.

Megatron: Now I can introduce Dark Energon into the planet’s core...and as it spreads throughout Cybertron, my power shall travel with it!

Soundwave: Entrance to the planet core is heavily shielded behind the Omega Gate.

Megatron: I will acquire the key.  We launch a full scale assault of Iacon IMMEDIATELY.  And wipe Zeta Prime and his pathetic Autobots off the face of the planet.

Megatron takes a holographic Cybertron in his hands and then crushes it.

The chapter ends, bringing everyone back to the main menu.]

C: I don't want to be a jet anymore!

O: Well, you don't have to be that's the only chapter with jets in it.

[Note:  Except the Autobot chapter later, whoops. ~O]

C: Okay, good, I like my feet on the ground.

O: Um, I-I think probably after this you'll be Soundwave.

C: Wait, I'll be Soundwave and not you?

O: Uh, no, because uh, Soundwave’s the healer.  Do you want me healing?  The answer is no.  I want my fusion cannon. [laughs]

C: Oh, right, right, right.

O: [laughs] I want my fusion cannon, hello!  Which is funny, because I actually prefer Soundwave in this game.  Like, character wise, to Megatron.

C: I make a good healer. [indignantly] I'm a- I'm a good healer!

O: [snorts] I didn't say you weren't, I said I was a bad one! [laughs]  So, to summarize thus far:  We've had a crack addict take over a space station to get to space crack.  We have had the crack addict’s new booty er, you know, boyfriend uh, arm candy?  I don’t know.  Uh, going into the planet’s core for a booty call in order to get that space crack running through the entire planet.  Does that sum it up? [laughs]

[Note: The Seekers were underground but not truly in Cybetron’s core. ~O]

C: I believe it does.

S: Scientist wants to impress his new booty call, so off he went with his two most dearly detested buddies.  Or something.

O: Apparently?  Co-workers, that were apparently down for this?  I don't know.

A: [laugh]

C: They’re his literal- eh, hold on- wa- wa- wait, no.  They’re his wing-men?  Aha!

O: ARGH!  I’m gonna go in the bedroom and throw something at you!

C: [laughs]

O: Okay, well, um, I think that rather nicely summarizes it.  Uh, next time we’ll do chapter 3: Iacon Destroyed.  Till next time, I'm Owls.

S: I'm Specs.

C: I'm Chezni.

O: And thanks for watching, bye!

S: Bye!

[azookiex3]

A Devil’s Love - Chapter 3

AN: Chapter 3 takes place at the end of Season 2 Episode 11. [sorry for the 5k words >.<"]

Warnings: Swearing

AO3

Fanfiction Net

Wattpad

Chapter 1: All Bad Things, I Promise

Chapter 2: All I Don’t Know

Chapter 3: It's Not A Date 

It was so, quiet.

You walked down the steps in LUX. No drinks were being served. No bodies were grinding up against each other on the dancefloor. No one made out in the dark corners.

The only music that filled the empty space was a piano, which was being played by the only other soul in the room besides you.

“Lucifer.”

“Hello, K9.” He gave you a small smile and stopped playing, “I was just playing my goodbye tune.”

“Goodbye?” You looked at him, head tilted in puzzlement.

“Yes. It seems no amount of money will please that swine of a woman, and besides,” he lightly traced his fingertips over the keys, then smiles back up at you, “I've come to learn that ‘home’, is more than just a building.”

“Well, that's good,” you gave an over dramatic sigh, “But that totally ruins my thank you.”

Lucifer just looked at you with pure confusion. You motioned for him to scoot over on the piano bench and sat down next to him, handing him a blue folder.

“What's this?”

“A certificate from the city. Stating that LUX is now a historic building and cannot be torn down under any circumstances.” You smiled.

“K9,” Lucifer was in complete bewilderment as he looked at the paper, “How did you…”

After a beat of him not continuing his question, you answered, “Well, I got the idea when you told me the little history quirks this place had. So, once I finished the case, I went to Chloe because I knew she had connections in that area. And,” you tapped on the paper, “Presto!”

“K9...Thank You,” he smiled warmly at you.

“Yeah well, you should thank Chloe too,” you looked away from him slightly to try to stop the rising blush on your face, “Plus, I in no way can help you in getting the deed back from Eleanor. I mean,” you chuckled softly and looked back to him after cooling down, “I'm sure she'll sell it back to you now since she can't build her dumb mega mall, but definitely way above market value.”

“Of that I have no doubt, but K9,” Lucifer placed the folder down on the piano and turned his body towards you, “What did you mean by ‘this ruins my thank you’?”

“Oh, well, um,” you couldn't stop the blush this time, “I just felt like I had to properly thank you for that construction company,” you looked down at your lap in embarrassment, “I know it seems like a silly thing, but those guys really pulled through in my building. Once I hire some staff I can open up within two weeks, at most.”

“My dear K9,” you couldn't help but look back up at him at the sound of amusement in his voice, “If you wanted to find a proper way of thanking me you should have came to me, because I'm afraid this isn't it.”

“Um.” You looked back and forth between the discarded folder and the man next to you with wide eyes, “It isn't?”

“Nope! Afraid not!”, he gave the “p” in “nope” an extra pop. Lucifer was back in full form.

Oh boy.

“Now, I am in no way ungrateful for this gift, I assure you,” he placed a hand on the folder, “Buuut,” he sang, “there is only one form of a ‘thank you’ that I will accept.” He smiled devilishly and leaned forward towards you.

“And...that is?”

“You.”

“Um...you ok there Ms.?” Alice sat on your bed holding a cup of tea. You didn't see it, but she looked more amused then concerned.

And why couldn't you see her expression? Because you've been standing, with your back to her, in front of your closet staring at nothing for at least five minutes.

“Yup.” You continue to stare into the dark abyss of clothes, “Super.”

“You say this isn't a date, but you sure are stressing like a woman going on a date for the first time.”

“It's not a date, Ali!” You finally move your body to face Alice and you give her a stern look.

“Uh-huh.” Alice just smiles up at you as she takes a sip of her tea.

“It's not, Alice. How many times do I have to tell you?” You start to feel a bit frustrated and turn back to your closet.

“Until I start believing it.”

“I only agreed to tonight to make sure he's good for Chloe.” You say to your closet.

Alice sighs and places her tea down on your nightstand, “Earth, stop using Chloe as an excuse. I think Lucifer really does-”

“NO!” You whirl on your sidekick, “He does not. He's a playboy nightclub owner who tries to get under everyone's skin!” Your nostrils flare, “And Chloe is not an excuse!” You point at Alice with one hand while the other balls into a fist, “You didn't hear what those two said about each other at court yesterday. They-” you slowly start to breath in and out. Alice didn't deserve this, “They have...a connection.”

Good little Alice didn't yell or fight back. She just sat there and listened to your ranting with a serious expression on her face. No judgment. No eye rolling.

She pats the part of the bed next to her and you sit, “I have to make sure Chloe will be all right with him,” you say to the floor.

“Earth,” Alice wraps an arm around your shoulders, “You deserve to find that kind of connection too.”

“No, Alice. That's too dangerous and you know that. It's already bad enough that I have you and Chloe, hell, even Trixie to worry about,” you close your eyes and shake your head slightly, “I can't give them more ammunition against me.”

“But Lucifer might be able to-”

“No.”

Alice just sighs. She knows that “no” means to stop talking about it. Against her better judgment, however, she will humor you.

“So, what does this ‘connection’ between Chloe and Lucifer look like?”

You heard her, but didn't answer. Alice squeezes your shoulders after some time.

“Earth?” She whispers.

“Soulmates.” You chuckle, not happily, when the word escaped your mouth, “Something I don't even believe in, and there it is,” you visibly swallow, “They're the perfect example.”

“Maybe you're wrong. Maybe it's different.” You just shook your head in response.

Your phone pinged on your nightstand. The sound was that of the text message alert you picked for Chloe. You stand and walk over to your phone. Unlocking it and reading the message, you give Alice more of that pitiful chuckle.

“Still think it's different?” You hold up your phone screen to Alice so she can read Chloe's message:

I kissed him.

KISSED him, and I didn't want to stop.

How the hell am I going to face him tomorrow? :sweatingemoji:

“So,” you pull the phone away once you saw Alice was done, “You going to help me pick an outfit now?”

“Uhhh,” you stuttered and moved away from him slightly, “Excuse me?”

“Well someone has a dirty mind! Don’t worry, darling, I don’t mean in that way. Well,” he followed you, making your attempt to escape for not, “Unless you're up for that.” He stared deeply into your eyes and licked his lips.

You practically fell off the piano bench.

Lucifer laughed loudly, “Come come, my dear! I’ll stop now, I swear.” He grabbed your arm before you fell and pulled you back up.

“Yeah. Right.” You warily replied.

“I’m a man of my word, K9.” He smiled, then looked at you with interest, “Honestly K9, I had quite a fun time working with you on this case. What with both of us having the same wit,” he started counting off his fingers, “both becoming quite nauseated at the sight between Eric and Christi, and your impeccable knowledge on the correct height for a proper suicide jump,” his eyes sparkled, “Plus you have some fantastic dance moves, dear. Makes me wonder what other kind of talents you have.”

You had no response to give the man. You were too focused on calming your heartbeat.

“So, here’s how I would like my favor repaid,” he continued, “Let me take you out. I want to learn more about you, K9. Honest.” You looked to him, and you could see the honesty in his eyes. It made you feel more...comfortable.

“Well,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, “Alright. If that’s what you want.”

“Oh it is, very much so,” he smiled so brightly at you, “I will make sure it’s fun for you as well, my dear. I hear from the Detective, and that lovely assistant of yours, that you’ve been all work work work since arriving.”

“Well, you have to ‘work work work’ in order to survive.”

“For you humans yes, but last night I saw a woman who was just begging to let loose.”

“It has been an exhausting couple of months back…”

“Lovely!” Lucifer looked genuinely excited now, “It’s settled then! I’ll text you the details once I’ve made them.” You smiled and nodded.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

“This is absolutely 100% bad.”

You could feel the anxiety building up in your stomach as you drove to LUX. As hard as you tried, you could not convince Lucifer to just send you the address to where ever he was taking you. He insisted that you arrive at LUX first saying, “Let me take you for a ride in my corvette! :winkieface: :devilemoji:”

The thought of spending an entire evening alone with Lucifer was anxiety ridden enough, but now knowing you were also going to be stuck in a vehicle with him driving made it worse. You’ve heard the horror stories from Chloe.

Trying to calm yourself, you choose one of your favorite songs on your phone to play through the speaker. Focusing on singing to the song made the thoughts of tonight ease away.

Until you pull into the LUX parking garage, of course. You stop your car and hand the keys to the valet. The security guards let you skip ahead of the ever long line.

You stand at the top of the stairs with your hands on the railing. You scan the floor in search for Lucifer, but he was nowhere to be found within his crowd.

I’m here. You text him.

Wonderful! Come on up to my penthouse, dear! I’m almost done getting ready myself. The elevator is to the right at the top of the stairs.

The first thought to cross your mind was how Lucifer was the first guy you met who takes longer than a female to get ready for something. The second was the anxiety vomit that wanted to burst its way out of you when he told you to come up to his penthouse.

You swallow it down, though, and wipe your sweaty palms on your dress as you walk into the elevator and press the button to go up. You expected the ride to be longer, so when the elevator doors seemed to open after less than a minute you squeak in surprise.

“Is that you, K9?” You hear Lucifer’s voice off in the distance as you exit the elevator.

“Um, yeah,” You say nervously.

“I’ll be done in just a minute! Make yourself at home!”

“Yeah, sure,” you whisper mainly to yourself than to him. Your eyes begin to widen in awe at how beautiful his penthouse was.

The space was entirely sleek black, with pops of color from the furniture and small decor. The light that illuminated the space came from the huge private bar, an upside down tree that hung from the ceiling, and a fire that was burning brightly in a far corner. To the left of you Lucifer had an amazing looking library, and you had to physically imagine that you were super glued to the floor. Otherwise, you would have just run over there and start reading. The bar was to your right, and under the upside tree stood another piano. In the middle of the space were some orange colored expensive looking couches with a coffee table and flat screen tv in front.

You walk a bit further inside, next to the piano, and through the wall of windows you could tell that Lucifer had a magnificent view of LA. You also saw, to your right, Lucifer’s large bed covered in silky looking black sheets. There was no door separating the bedroom from the rest of the space. Instead, it was separated by an antique looking wall on the left and an intricate colorful stain glass piece to the right.

Becoming braver, you take the step down into the living room. Around the corner of the antique wall you can see that the balcony wraps around, and spot a hot tub.

“Seriously? A hot tub too?”

“It’s my companions favorite feature when I bring them up here. Well, besides my bed of course.” You squeak again in surprise and spin on your heels to face Lucifer. He stood in the entryway to his bedroom and was smiling down at you.

“My my. You look positively stunning, K9.” He continues to smile as he descends his bedroom steps. Adjusting his cufflinks, he looks you up and down. You wore a green, long sleeve, cocktail dress with a hollowed out design. On your feet you wore white sandal wedges with the same type of hollowed out design. You could hear him make a delighted purring sound when he saw how your wedges made your legs more toned.

“Um, thank you,” you weren’t quite sure how to react, or how you were feeling in this moment.

“You’re welcome. Now come along, darling,” Lucifer pushes out his arm to you and you wrap your hand around it, “Let’s get to know each other!”

Lucifer lead you to is black corvette. Opening the passenger door for you he said to “get comfy” for it was an hour ride.

An hour. In a car. With him as the driver.

The seats were indeed comfy, but unfortunately they were doing nothing to calm your racing heart.

There was something else you noticed about the car that was not helping your heart rate, “Um, Lucifer. Where are the seatbelts?”

He just smiles devilishly at you as he turns the car on, puts the car in reverse, quickly backs out of the parking space, and zooms out of his parking garage.

Fuck.

"I told you that I'd make this fun for you as well, darling."

It has been fifteen minutes into the ride, and you were just now realizing that Lucifer had been following all traffic laws.

"Oh…" you slowly release your hold on the car seat and door, "Sorry…" you felt completely embarrassed.

"No worries, K9. I had a thought that you've heard about my incredible driving from the Detective, and since you are also a cop I figured you would be more comfortable following the silly laws."

"Laws are there for a reason, Lucifer."

"Ah yes, and the reason is to be broken!" Lucifer gives you a wink and a smile. You turn your head away so he can't see your small smile.

"What kind of music do you like, darling?" Lucifer asks you after giving you a moment to calm fully down.

"Hmm," you thought for a minute, "Honestly? Anything."

"Truly?" Lucifer looks curiously at you, "Even gospel? Rap? Bloody country? The music that's called my music?"

You give a little chuckle,"If I listen to the song enough I usually tend to like it. Unless the lyrics make absolutely no sense."

"Surely you must have a favorite genre though?"

"Hmm," you tap your chin in thought, "Guess it'd have to be alternative."

"Lovely!" Lucifer turns his radio on to an alternative/rock station. For the rest of the ride he would sing and tap to the songs, and you tap and hum along with him.

You weren't comfortable enough to sing around him.

Not yet, anyway.

The end of the car ride is Lucifer pulling into some hotel's parking garage, and you give him a warning in an eyebrow raise.

"We're not here for the hotel, sadly." Lucifer opens the car door for you and leads you by the small of your back.

"Then why are we here?"

"For the hotel's restaurant!" He leads you through the lobby of the hotel and through two huge glass double doors.

"Wow." You couldn't stop the amazement forming on your face at how beautiful this place was.

The restaurant is called "Openarie", and it lives up to its name. The structure was basically one giant greenhouse. Pots of various plants were hung on the ceiling and along the walls. Fairy lights light the space, and the floor was pure concrete. Outside you saw a dance floor with a small band on a elevated stage. There were a few couples out there swaying to the music.

"I take it I've done well?" Lucifer looks down to you with a shit eating grin.

"Eh. So far." You just shrug and give him a little sarcastic smile.

The both of you walk up to the booth and Lucifer gives his last name to the host. The host leads the both of you to a table seated for two, and thankfully there were no other parties around the table. Lucifer pulls out your chair for you to sit as the host puts the menus on the table.

"I take it since it's pretty busy in here and there's no one seated at the tables around us you rented those out too?" You ask him, eyebrow raised, as you take a sip of water that your waitress put down.

"Correct!" Lucifer gives you his devilish smile, "I wanted to make sure we weren't interrupted."

"More like overhead," you scuff, "You expecting me to tell you all my secrets?"

"Just the ones you're willing to share, darling."

You hum as a response and look down at the menu while Lucifer ordered some wine.

You look quizzically at the menu, "This looks like-"

"Shareable meals, yes." Lucifer smiles at your expression and takes a sip of the wine, "It's the theme of this place. People getting to know each other through shared food. Most of the time it goes well, hence the attachment to the hotel." His smile turns flirtatious.

"You actually did research for this?"

"That surprises you?"

"Well...yeah." Lucifer's smile turns small as he looks to his own menu.

Within a few minutes the two of you manage to decide on an appetizer, meal, and dessert. Both of you engage in idle chatter while eating the appetizer, but once the main course arrives Lucifer wants to start asking those questions.

"So, my dear," Lucifer leans forward a bit and stares at you with interest, "Tell me something about you."

"Before I do that I would like to talk to you about something," you place your napkin on your lap and have a bite of the food.

"Oooh, a twist! Alright then, K9," Lucifer does the same as you.

"What's your relationship with Chloe?"

Lucifer has to cover his mouth with a napkin to keep the food in from his laughter.

"Well aren't we the little overprotective friend?"

"Yes." You look at him seriously enough for his laughter to die, "I am."

"Alright. I'll answer your question, but first answer me this," Lucifer leans forward again.

"Why?"

You pause, "Why?" When he nods you take a breath and look him in the eyes.

"Because she's...my friend. Best friend."

"Yes, but you don't show this possessiveness with Ms. Green."

You sigh, "Because," you have to take another breath, "Ok. It's because Chloe was my first friend." You stir your water around and look at that instead of him, "The first person to not fake anything with me. The first person not to lie to me. The first person…" you pause, "...who made me feel comfortable." You look at him now, "The first one to make me feel like it's ok to be myself."

Lucifer gives you a genuine small smile, and his eyes are filled with no judgement. Just approval.

"Well then, we have another thing in common K9." You smile back at him.

"Good. So how about an answer to my question?"

"It's quite simple, my dear," Lucifer takes a sip of wine, "She's my partner."

"But in what sense?" It was your turn to lean forward, pressing on, "How do you feel about her?"

"You sound like my therapist." Lucifer evades your question by taking a large sip of his drink.

"Look Lucifer," you intertwine your hands and place them on the table, "Chloe told me about the kiss," he's looking at you now, "I just want to make sure that she'll be ok. That she won't end up with another 'detective douche'."

Lucifer chuckles slightly at the mention of the nickname he gave Chloe's ex, "What makes you think I'd be douche number two?"

"Well," you shrug and look up at the imaginary list in your head, "You're a player. You have a man, woman, both, or even multiple genders in your bed every night. You flirt with everyone. Oh and," you look back at him, "Chloe isn't someone who would appreciate getting dagger glares from another female while on a date."

"What makes you think she'd be getting glares from someone else while with me?"

"Because there's a tall blond women who has been giving me dagger glares since we got here." You move your head in the direction behind him and drink your water. He turns a full 180 in his chair and says surprisingly:

"Mum?!"

You almost spit out your drink.

Did he just say mom?!

The women smiles, after finally being noticed, and saunters over to your table. She stops next to Lucifer's seat.

"Hello, my son," she said with a fake surprise to her voice, "It truly is a small world my husband has created after all."

"Mother?!" Lucifer stands up and turns his body to her, blocking your view of his face, "What are you doing here?" The last part of his sentence came out as a hiss.

"I'm here for a company dinner."

"By yourself?" You spoke up, and slightly regret it at the look she gave you.

"Most have left while others went to the dance floor," she said matter of factly.

Uh huh. Your police senses start tingling.

"Well if your companions have left then you should go too," Lucifer says, "It's terribly embarrassing to be the only one at a table."

"I'm sorry son," she feigned ignorance, "Am I ruining your date?"

"This isn't a date." You say without thinking. She looks at you curiously with a brow raised, "I'm just...returning a favor."

"Yes." Lucifer seemed to whisper the reply. You thought you saw his shoulders slump slightly, but just mistook it for the lighting of the place.

The Goddess, however, saw the quick emotion of pain and confusion slip past her son's eyes.

That was all an answer she needed.

"I see. Well, I'm sorry to have interrupt." She smiles at you, "Goodbye." She gives Lucifer one final look before strutting out of the restaurant.

"I'm sorry about her," Lucifer sits back down.

"No worries. Protective mother I presume?"

Lucifer scoffs and takes a sip of wine, "Hardly."

The trouble you saw inside Lucifer was making you hurt, for some reason. So to try and get rid of that cloud on him, you decide to start talking more about you instead of Chloe.

You weren't too worried about her with him anymore.

"Well, how about I actually start this favor." That perks him up, "What would you like to know?"

"Do you want to trade mothers?" You burst out into genuine laughter, and you can see it pleases Lucifer considerably. He's back.

"Unfortunately, for you, I don't have one."

"What?"

"I grew up in an orphanage. From there to various foster homes."

"You wouldn't consider any of those foster parents as parents?"

"Nope." You pop the "p" and drink your water.

Lucifer starts to continue his questioning, but pauses as the waitress gathers our eaten meal and places down our desert. Once she's out of ear shot he continues:

"You have no knowledge of your real parents?"

You were quiet for a second, using the excuse to take a bite out of the chocolate cake, "Nope." No pop to the "p" this time.

Lucifer hums and takes a bite of the cake himself, "Why did you come back to LA?"

"Well," you gave it a considerate thought, "I did miss Chloe a lot. Plus, even though I'm not too fond of children, I feel a bit guilty for not being here to help her out with Trixie."

"You despise children too?" Lucifer looks ecstatic, "I'm enjoying you more and more, K9."

You laugh, "Yes I don't like children and have no wish to birth any, but that doesn't mean I might not want to one day wish to adopt or foster." You take another bite, "Since I know what it's like to have that kind of life and all. Plus," you point your fork at him, "I may 'despise' children, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't risk my life to save one. No one should die so young and innocent."

"Of course, and I agree," you just give him that "uh huh I don't believe you" look while you chew on another bite.

"My next question, then, is," he takes another bite, "Why did you leave?"

Your fork pauses mid air to your mouth. The memories whizzing by in front of your eyes.

"K9?" You're brought back to the present by Lucifers hand on yours. He looks fairly concerned.

"I'm sorry." You put the fork down and remove your hand from his, "That's too-"

"Private. It's quite alright dear," Lucifer gives you a warm smile, "I told you I only want to know what your willing to give."

"Thank You." You smile back at him and you two finish the desert with Lucifer now asking "typical" get to know questions.

What's your favorite color? Green. What's your favorite book and movie genre? Mystery, Fiction, Fantasy, and Sci-fi for books. Action, Adventure, Musicals, and Sci-Fi for movies. Don't like horror or thrillers? Don't like the feeling of my heart beat during those. Do you have any hobbies? I enjoy gardening, volunteering at animal shelters, and painting. Sounds boring. For you, yeah. Pet peeves? A man named Lucifer Morningstar. Haha very funny. Thanks.

Desert is now finished and Lucifer pays and tips the blushing waitress. You hear the band outside start to play a more upbeat tune, and can't help but stare.

"Would you like to dance, darling?" Lucifer smiles down at you and holds out his hand.

"Yes." You smile back and take his hand, "I do."

You two dance together until the band leaves for the night and head back to the corvette.

"Hey, Lucifer?" you look at him while he pulls out onto the road.

"Yes, my dear?"

"Drive." Lucifer's smiles so brightly at you. He turns the radio full blast and drives without a care in the world.

This time you sing along with him.

While Lucifer parks into his parking garage he manages to convince you to come up to the penthouse. There he gives you a glass of water, after failing to hand you whiskey instead, and you both sit on the italian leather sofa. This time you were the one asking the typical get to know me questions.

What's your favorite color? Black. Yeah I really should have guessed that one. Quite. What's your favorite book and movie genre? Erratic books and porn. Uh-huh, do you have any hobbies--No, wait I think I know this one: watching porn, having sex, doing drugs, and drinking? You know me so well already K9, but you forgot about me helping the Detective on cases. That’s a job Lucifer, not a hobby. Is it? Hm. Any pet peeves? Humans blaming me for all their wrong doing. What? Oh, that’s right. You’re whole “devil” shtick. It’s not a shtick.

Once 2am rolled around you decide it’s time to head home. You bid Lucifer farewell, and you might be going crazy from tiredness, but it looked like he wanted to say something to you. He says nothing, however, and bids you farewell also.

As the elevator goes down to the garage you check your phone for the first time that night, and see a bunch of text messages from Alice.

“It’s about time!” you decided to call her.

“Hello to you too, Ali.” The elevator doors open and you start the track to your car.

“Sooo, how’d your not-date go?”

“Honestly? Not bad.”

“You enjoyed yourself?”

“Yeah,” you smile to yourself, “Yeah. I did.”

“When’s the next not-date date?”

“There is no next time, Ali. This was just returning a favor.”

“Did it look like Lucifer enjoyed it?”

“Well-”

“Earth!” You were surprised to hear your name being called. You look over your shoulder and see Lucifer exiting the elevator. He wasn’t running, but he was taking large strides towards you, and he was...smiling?

“Lucifer-” The heat behind you cut you off.

It’s like everything went into slow motion. You turned toward your car and saw a bright white light and felt heat.

Very, very, hot heat.

Your felt the fabric on your arms burn away as you covered your face. You dropped your phone as you were pushed back into the air with huge force. You braced yourself to fall on the concrete, but instead you hit a body. A toned body that held you like wall support.

You chance a peek to the outside world, and all you could see before shutting them again was a arm in dark sleeves around you. The hand attached to the arm wore a familiar onyx ring.

Lucifer.

How did he...

But you couldn’t speak. Your throat was shut tight, and the only thing your brain could focus on right now was the pain happening over your entire body.

You can faintly hear Lucifer call out to you over the ringing of your ears.

You can feel Lucifer pick you up in his arms and run outside. You remember seeing more blinding lights, but this time of familiar colors, arrive around the nightclub.

Someone had to force you out of Lucifer’s arms, and could hear his panicked yelling as someone else pushed him back from you.

Then your world went dark.

Tag List: @insanity-is-always-fun @anushay1998 @emiwrites3reads @i-am-canada-13

[writings-of-hazel]

Forgotten Gospel (Sam Winchester x OC) Part Three:

“Oh so this looks familiar to you?” he asked, opening it.

“Nope.” Diane replied with a smile,

“Oh so you don’t know what this means?” The sheriff opened the journal to a blank page and slid it in front of her, scrawled onto the bottom of the page where numbers, coordinates.

“Listen, my husband and I are just on vacation for a family reunion, this stuff is none of my business.” Diane replied, glancing from the book back to the cop.

“Do you have any idea how much trouble you and your boy wonder here are in?” The sheriff said with a smug look.

“Handcuffs, whips and chains trouble or squeal like a pig trouble?” Diane retorted, raising her eyebrows.

The sheriff was silent for a moment, before throwing his hands up “This shit is above my pay grade, call in Hugh, I’m getting a drink.” He called to the deputy beside him. Giving Diane one last, hard look, The sherif and his men filed out of the room.

Now alone, Diane let out a long sigh as she eased back into the chair. How was she gonna get outta this one? She thought. Looking down at the chair her arm was cuffed to, she yanked on the handcuff chain.

“Dammit.”She muttered under her breath.

Minutes felt like hours in absolute silence. Diane looked back at the journal, the scrapes along the leather from years of wear. She thought back to John. She was three when she first met the Winchester and his sons, so long ago.

Her thoughts where interrupted by the door opening. Her eyes flickered over to the doorway as it softly creaked open. Dean Winchester’s head popped in, his eyes meeting hers. Diane’s lips curved into a smile, “How did you get out?” She mouthed quietly.

Dean held up a finger to his lips as he closed the door behind him and locking it. Turning back around with a smug smile he held up a bent paper clip.

“Nice.” Diane whispered, holding up her cuffed wrist. Dean’s attention turned to the cuff, kneeling beside her chair he stuck the end of the paper clip into the keyhole and began working it around. Within a minute or so the cuff released, and Diane’s hand was free.

“Here, out the window.” Dean whispered, walking over to the window pane and slowly unlocking the hatch.

Diane grabbed John’s journal from off the desk, stuffing it into her jacket. When the window was open, Dean was the first to jump out.

“Alright baby you’re turn.” Dean called out gruffly. Diane quietly crawled up to the window and swung her legs off the ledge, it was about a nine foot drop. She paused, looking at Dean’s face far down from her legs.

Dean caught on to her hesitation, he took a step towards the window and held his arms up. “You want me to catch you?” Dean said with a smug smile.

Diane rolled her eyes, shooting Dean a glare “Screw off, my ankle is already fucked up.” She retorted in a harsh whisper.

Dean closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “Baby it’s okay, I can catch you c’mon.” He said in a new tone, his smile fading into a genuine smirk.

Diane sighed, closing her eyes tightly. Sucking in a deep breath she pushed herself off the windows ledge, her body going airborne.

Before a thought could cross her mind she felt herself land within a pair of two strong arms.

Dean let out a small groan, before pulling her up and fully into his arms. Diane opened her eyes, and met Dean’s green orbs.

A smile pulled onto the edges of Dean’s lips “Told you so.” He murmured.

Diane let out the deep breath she was holding , and gave him a smile. Dean slowly set her down, it would only be a matter of time before the cops would notice their disappearance.

“We gotta go.” Dean said, looking up at the open window.

Diane nodded, reaching out for his hand. Dean’s warm and rugged hands clasped tightly around hers and together they ran from the station.

-

Dean had managed to hotwire a car in a drugstore parking lot a few hours back, Diane quietly skimmed through the pages of Johns journal, eyeing the coordinates.

“These are coordinates Dean.” Diane said with a huff, closing the journal and putting it into her jacket.

“Yeah, that’s sounds like Dad alright.” Dean sighed and pulled out his cellphone, dialing Sam’s number.

“Dean?” Said Sam’s voice through the speaker.

“Diane and I got out, we’re heading our way towards you, where you at?” Dean asked, putting the phone on speaker and setting it down.

“I’ll tell you in a minute, get this guys, I think our girl Constance here is a Woman in White.” Sam said.

“Woman in White?” Diane asked with a cocked brow “You mean to say she’s a spirit who ganked her kids and then herself after finding out her husband was unfaithful?”

“Uhhh...yeah pretty much,” Sam replied slowly “Wait how do you know about that?”

“I’m offended,” Diane retorted “But anyway, it all makes sense, all our vic’s had girlfriends.”

“Exactly but wasn’t she cremated?” Diane asked.

“Yup, we gotta find another way to gank this thing.” Dean muttered, his eyes focused on the road.

“I’m going to Constance’s old house I’ll meet you guys there.” Sam said suddenly.

“Sounds like a plan, I’ll be there soon.” Dean replied and hung up the phone.

-

The two hunters pulled up towards the decrepit and abandoned Constance residence. Diane’s eyes flickered over to the rattling impala with its headlights still on.

In the driver seat she could see a woman with a white dress and brown hair, holding someone down.

“Sammy!” Diane called out. Dean ran out of the vehicle, pulling out his gun. He ran to the drivers side, unloading his pistol through the window.

The apparition flickered out and disappeared. Dean opened the car door and Sam flopped out and onto the ground.

Diane flung open her door and ran over to the two. “Sammy! You okay?” She asked, grabbing him by the collar.

Sam panted heavily through opened lips, his hand holding his chest. One of his strong hands gripped at the leather of her jacket tightly as he tried to compose himself. “Yeah,” he said breathlessly, his eyes flickering towards her “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

Diane gave Sam a soft smile and stoop up. Dean held out a hand and took Sam’s, pulling him up. When he fully regained his balance Dean tossed Sam a sawed off shotgun.

“Salt rounds?” Sam asked, his chest heaving.

“Yup- lets get this bitch.” Diane said, reloading her pistol and taking the safety off.

The three hunters nodded at eachother, and one by one filed into the old house, guns raised and ready. All was quiet and still upon entering, save for the occasional creak. Slowly the three wandered towards the living room.

“Guys!” Sam’s voice said suddenly.

Diane’s eyes flickered towards Sam’s direction and where met with Constance’s cold dead stare. Dean raised his shotgun and aimed it at her. Before he could pull the trigger the three hunters where flung against the wall with the wave of her arm. Diane’s back slammed against the drywall with a thud, her face twisting in pain.

Slowly Constance began to walk towards them, her cold eyes never wavering. Each step as she drew closer the air became colder. Diane could see her breath fog in front of her face. Suddenly a light upstairs turned on, catching the spirits attention, water began to trickle down the steps. Constance’s face whitened in fear as she took a step back. standing at the top of the stairs stood two children, their faces white and grey.

“Why won’t you come with us mommy?” The two children asked at the same time.

Constance began to sob, shaking her head “No...no..” She seeped out, turning her back to them. As soon as she turned around, they where facing her.

“Come with us mommy.” They cooed, and both wrapped their arms around the frightened spirit. The woman let out a bloodcurdling scream, her form coming alight with flame before disappearing with the children.

The pressure holding the three hunters against the wall disappeared, and Diane fell to the floor.

“Dammit.”She groaned, holding her side. Two large hands grabbed under her arms, carefully lifting her to her feet.

“Here, you okay?” Said Sam’s voice from behind her, his arm supporting her back.

“Yeah,” Diane groaned not looking behind her “Let me just-“ She stuttered as she tried to stand on her own. A sharp pain ran up her side and she fell back into Sam’s chest. Sam caught her back with his arm, pulling her arm over his shoulders

“Here, hang on.” He ordered and Diane gave no fight.

Dean slowly got up with a grunt, taking a few steps ahead of them to look at the spot where Constance lit up. Dean glanced back at the two and then down to the puddle.

“Well,” he said with a whistle “Would you look at that.”

-

The drive back to California was a long one, but nice overall. Sam still had to go to that interview on Monday, but that was a topic neither one of them brought up.

Nearing midnight the impala pulled back into the Stamford campus. All got quiet in the car for a moment, and Diane glanced up into the rear view mirror.

Sam’s hazel gaze caught hers and held it for a minute, his soft set gaze giving her an unreadable expression. Dean parked the impala in front of the iron screen door, turning the engine off.

"You know," Dean began, looking over at his brother "We made a good team the three of us." He said with a smile.

The corners of Sam's lips pulled upward. "Yeah, yeah we did." He sighed out, looking at his hands.

"I'll let you know if Diane and I find any leads, we'll come pick you up." Dean said, looking over Sam's facial expressions.

Sam's face was twisted in thought, he heaved out a sigh "That sound's good Dean." He looked behind him towards Diane in the backseat, giving her a small smile. After another moment of silence he slowly pulled his backpack over his shoulder, opening the car door and stepping out. 

"I'll see you around." Dean called out, turning the ignition and starting the engine.

"See you around." Replied Sam awkwardly, he waved at Dean and his eyes flickered over to Diane's as the impala began to back out.

"Wait." Diane said to Dean suddenly. Dean put the car in park as Diane shuffled out of the backseat and out of the car. Quickly making her way towards Sam.

She stood inches away from his towering form. Sam have her a soft expression. "Sam," She began, her face going red as she spoke "You did real good back there, it was really good to see you again." Her voice broke as she spoke.

Immediately Sam reached out, pulling Diane into his warm embrace. "It was really good to see you Diane." He mumbled into her hair. His hand ran along her spine softly and Diane closed her eyes against his chest.

Dean watched the two, his expression hardening.

"Don't stay gone, okay?" Diane mumbled into his arms "We're family Sam."

"I won't Diane, I promise." Sam replied after a few moments of silence. After a moment or two, they pulled apart from each other, the absence of Sam's warmth lingering on her skin.

Diane gave Sam a genuine smile and turned around, walking back towards the purring impala.

"Diane?" Sam called out behind her.

Diane turned around, "Yes?" She asked curiously.

Sam gave her a smile "Take care of that hand."

Diane let out a chuckle "Take care of that face." She retorted with a laugh before settling into the passengers seat.

_

Sam made his way up to his dorm. Standing at the entrance way he was surprised to find it unlocked. Opening the door he peeked his head in first.

"Jess I'm home." He called out with a smile as he stepped into the dorm room. He heaved out a sigh of relief, happy to finally be home. He crossed through the kitchen towards his bedroom, the sound of the shower running echoing through the door. Sam let his backpack fall with a thud as he wandered over to the bed tiredly. Jess must be in the shower, he thought, falling back against the bed with a groan. He crossed his arms behind his head and closed his eyes, relaxing for the first time in days. Life was back to normal.

Drip. Some thick liquid dropped against his face. Sam's face scrunched up, but his eyes remained closed. Suddenly, there was another drop, and then another, and another. Sam finally opened his eyes and looked up.

An audible gasp escaped Sam's lips. Right above him on the ceiling was his girlfriend Jess. Her face was white with fear and she was gasping for air, the lower part of her stomach cut.

"No!" Sam screamed out. Her body lit aflame and the whole ceiling became engulfed "Jess NO!" Sam yelled out, paralyzed.

Suddenly, two strong hands gripped Sam by the collar, yanking him out of the room. Sam followed blindly, his mind poisoned with grief as his thoughts raced within his head. Dean practically drug him down the stairs and outside. Sam could hear his own pulse rattling within his ears, tears streaming down his face.

Then two smaller arms wrapped around him, and he collapsed in their warmth.

"Sam? Sam?!" Diane called into his ringing ears. Dean stood by her side, his hand clasped over Sam's back.

Everything was gone. Jess was gone.

 

Notes:

SO I TOTALLY RUSHED THE END BUT IM SO TIRED IM SORRY LMAO but STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER TWO

[gingers-writing-blog]

New York Bound

Chapter 1

The story starts in April 1899.

Triggers: Mild Swearing, One Punch, Mention of Blood

New Words: /

Word Count: 2,819

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Come on guys! Wake up and get a move on! Those papers ain't gonna sell themselves!" I shout over the noise of the busy London streets below. It's only half-past seven but some people, like the blacksmiths, maids and landlords, have been up for at least an hour; and these lazy newsies are still asleep! It had been rainin' last night, so there were some puddles on the roads and pavements and the cold wind was blowin'. It blew a few stray paper bags from the shops down the street. It was only just light outside, but it's April, so what's new...

I hear a few people stirrin' from their sleep.

"Aye! Lucky! Ya should be up by now. I can't run this place all by myself!" I twist around from the window and call over to the girl that helps me run the Westminster Newsies. She's barely awake!

I saunter over to my boyfriends' bed and try and shake him awake. We both laugh as he waves his arms around blindly tryin' to shove me away.

"Come on Tommy! Get ya lazy arse up!" I shove him playfully, and he almost fell off the bed, but he grabbed onto my hand and pulled me, so I was lyin' next to him. He put his arm around me and I almost forgot about sellin' papers...

"Mornin'." He said quietly, while tracin' the outline of the small birthmark next to my left eye. He was really warm, and it was a nice change from the freezin' cold of the lodgin' house. His cute Aussie accent came through a lot in the mornin', and sometimes he would make it really thick and I would try and guess what the hell he was sayin'! Yeah, I love him with all my heart.

"Mornin'," I said back. We ended up starin' into each other's eyes. I love his eyes, amazin' deep brown; they were like the fancy chocolate that ya see in shop windows in the rich part of the city.

"For Christs' sake, get a room! So much for wake up and get a move on, ey' Cat!" Our little moment was interrupted by none other than Lucky. I turn my head around and see her pickin' up her dice that she always takes around with her, ya know, just in case she gets tied up in another gamblin' game...again...

"Right! This is payback for all the times I have to listen to ya and Smalls swoonin' over each other!" I reply, flashin' her a cocky grin.

'Scuse my manners, I should introduce myself. My name is Caitlin. Caitlin Barnes to be precise, but I go by Cat. I am 15 and I live in Westminster Borough, London. I am one of the two leaders of the Newsies here; the other leader is a girl called Lucky. Our lodgin' house is in Westminster City, which is quite near the borders of Lambeth and Camden; and it is a mess, I mean, there are clothes, shoes and caps everywhere! If ya borough rankin' was based on how tidy ya lodgin' house is, we would be right at the bottom!

The boroughs are ranked by one thing and one thing only. It's not how many people there are in ya borough and it's not how tidy ya Lodgin' House is. Thank god! It's by how much money ya make every month, and we make a fair amount. Mikey, the Polish kid, is the resident maths genius and he always adds up all our money every night.

Westminster is actually one of the smallest boroughs in London, but we all look after each other. Turf wars are a nightmare! Ya can usually tell which boroughs are run by boys because they are the quickest to get into fights; whereas the boroughs run by girls, like Camden, City and obviously here, are more diplomatic and don't want to get anyone killed! Although Angel's Bromley ain't on my list of allies...and that system ain't always correct.

We always think of the famous Spot Conlon and Jack Kelly when we need to defend ourselves. Sorry, I'm probably borin' ya with this, they probably don't know it, but they're famous over here!

There's a kid named Roger who was sent over here by his aunt in New York, he's from Brooklyn and he told us all about Spot Conlon, his borough leader, and Jack Kelly, the leader of a borough called Manhattan. He called them the best leaders their side of the pond!

Anyways, after we were rudely interrupted by my co-leader, Tommy Boy released me from his warm, tight hug, gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and we both got out of his bed.

I walked away from him while he chatted to Albie, one of the few people who actually live with their parents, but he was doin' stuff, so they let him stay here for the night. Mikey was stuff.

Yeah...

I made it over to Elise and Adelaide's beds. Those girls came over from France, just like my father, but they don't speak any English.

Luckily, my father did. So, he taught me and my mother, I tried to learn, but I don't have the right head for it, my brain prefers English and reading things in English. I only know a few basic phrases. Seams knows French though. She's the only one who can talk to them with any certainty of what they're sayin'!

"Tres bien mesdames! Il est temps de porter la banniere!" I said to them I saw someone, Red I think, glance over at them. They're new and I don't think they knew what Seams said!

That means "Alright ladies! Time to carry the banner!" by the way! Meanin', time to get up and sell the papers before it's too late! It's pretty much the only phrase I know for sure.

I chatted for a bit with Chase and how he flirted with his girlfriend last night! I know that doesn't sound very interestin', but he was either drunk or just really tired, but when he asked if she was single, he cried! It was way funnier if ya was there...

The two of us laughed for a bit. He went red and smiled, embarrassed. I left him to get dressed and walked back to my bed, clappin' him on the back as I went! I weaved my way back to my bed and kissed Tommy as I passed him.

I got my clothes out of my bedside drawer and laid them out on my bed, pushin' my recently-finished book aside. I put my bra on backwards, then twisted it around under my shirt. I pulled the straps up and took my nightshirt off.

Tommy Boy looked up and blushed when he saw me. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and grinned back at him.

"Whattaya got for me today babe?"

"Alright! Uhhhh...try and guess what this means!" There's this thing Tommy and I do every mornin'. He tells me some Aussie slang and I have to guess what the hell he means, and then I say somethin' in French and he tries to guess what I mean.

I looked over at him from where I was changin' into my day clothes.

"What are daks?" He said, with a cute little smirk.

"Ya what?" I laughed. I had absolutely no idea what he meant by 'Daks'. I love this idiot!

"Y'know! Daks! Ya wearin' 'em right now!" I stood there, lookin' down at myself. I was standin' next to my bed in my bra and trousers.

"Does it mean trousers?" It sounded ridiculous! I bent down and grabbed my blue and off-white striped undershirt and pulled it on as he replied.

"Yup! Well done! Ya gettin' betta at guessin'! That was an easy one though..." He grinned at the last bit.

"Right," I decided I was gonna give him a hard one. I clapped my hands together, rubbed them together and stuck my tongue out a bit while I thought of my plan. "Got it! Journaux. Take a crack at that!"

I pulled my mother's old red and grey shirt on and laughed at the look of complete confusion on his face. It was adorable, and he started laughin' with me. I gave him some time to think while I did up the buttons and put my black waistcoat, socks and shoes on as fast as I could. I had to time this perfectly.

The laces of my brown work boots were still undone when I walked over to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him. God, I hope I timed this right!

Ding! Ding! Ding! YES!!!

"It means newspapers!" I said as the distribution bell rang out! I kissed him quickly and left him to get dressed. He was still shirtless and had only managed to put his trousers, socks and shoes on! Whereas I was fully dressed if ya don't count my hat.

I grabbed my hat off the end of my bed and yelled out to my newsies.

"Come of guys! Carry the banner!" I yelled out to everyone. They went thunderin' down the stairs. Most of 'em went two at a time and I'm really surprised that someone doesn't die or get really hurt every day!

"Ey! CAT?" I heard someone yell from the doorway to the stairs. I turned around to see who it was.

"Yeah, Fletch?" That's Fletcher. No one really knows where he came from, but we soon found out that he's wicked strong. Like, unnaturally strong, we had a bit of a situation and we needed to clear the main room. Fletcher just came up and lifted up a chair, Patch was still sittin' on it! And he just lifted it up like it was nothin'! Boy, crutch and all!

"What day is it?" His head bobbed up and down as he jumped to see over the few remainin' people.

"Uhhh...Tuesday 25th." I said just as everyone else made it out the door and down the stairs, Fletcher nodded to me, turned and ran down the stairs. I turned back to Tommy and we chuckled a bit about his slightly strange question, but we shrugged it off soon enough.

Once everyone was out, it was just me and Tommy. I bent down and did my shoes up and put my hat on and let my hair hang down. It fell past my waist and there was so much of it, I could rarely fit all of it in my hat!

"C'mon! Ya nearly ready?" I wandered over to the door leadin' to the landin' and the stairs down to the ground floor. The dormitories of the 'Mayfair Lodging House' - and every other lodgin' house, for that matter - were on the 2nd floor. The middle floor had the kitchens, but we don't use that much, and the near-permanently locked storeroom.

The storerooms were only to be unlocked in an emergency, and only the leaders of the boroughs had the key. Now, I have a feelin' about what ya goin' to say...But Mayfair has two leaders!? That's definitely true, but if a borough has two leaders, the first to actually become leader gets the key.

And that would be me. I was made leader when I was 12 because of some emergency from the old leader, Note; then when I was 14, last year, I "promoted" Lucky to become my co-leader. I always keep the key on a long black ribbon around my neck and tucked into my bra. I even sleep with it on because Angel snuck in and almost stole it from my bedside table. From then on, I kept it on at all times. No one that lives in the Lodging House has seen the inside of it...I don't even know if it's ever been opened before and the many times I've looked under the door, all I could see was darkness and dust...

I stood there thinkin' and waitin' for Tommy to finish tyin' his shoelaces up and grab his hat before he ran over to me. I thought he would stop next to me like he did every other day...but I guess every other day we haven't been this late. So instead, he planted a quick kiss on my lips and bolted down the stairs!

"Race ya to the gates!" He called out.

"Hey! Ya got a head start!" I yelled after him, jumpin' down the stairs two at a time. He bolted out the door and closed it after him!

"Really!?" I said, laughin' under my breath. I opened the door quickly and then slammed it shut and ran after him.

Now, what he didn't take into account, was that I was one of the fastest runners in all of the Westminster Newsies, but he knew he was always faster. I guess he just wanted to let me win...for once!

We got to the Distribution Gates with about five seconds to spare before they locked up! The Jordan Brothers were just about to lock the gates when we got right up to them and I stuck my arm through the gap between the rapidly closin' iron gates.

"Oi! Dan! Joey! 100 each!" Tommy yelled. Dan opened the gates reluctantly.

"Why was you two late?" That was Mr Fink. He is a literal weasel. He's the Jordan Brother's uncle and he is the paper distributor for Westminster. Despite bein' a complete arsehole, he's a fat man, he always looks like he's got a permanent hangover and he has a face a potato would be proud of. But 'e can throw a hard punch...

He sneered at us as we walked up the slope to the hatch.

"None o' ya business, Fink." I retorted.

"It's Mister Fink to ya." He slammed his hand down of the countertop. 

He wanted money.

I slammed my 50 pence piece with just as much force as he slammed his hand down. The price of the papers is two for a penny. So, its 50 pence for 100 papers. Most of the time it's an alright price, but if it's cold, or windy, or rainin'...then not so much. Fuck it! It's England! It's like that most of the time! Our Septembers are usually pretty good though...

I laughed under my breath and took my papers once he put them on the countertop.

"What's so funny? Huh?" Dan Jordan grabbed onto my arm as I jumped down from the platform at the top of the slope; he was standin' near the raised platform, but on the floor instead of the ramp.

"Oh, nothin'!" I replied sarcastically, fakin' innocence.

"Don't believe ya!" His grip on my arm tightened.

"Get offa me, Dan." I gave him my death-stare, full of anger and hate. I wouldn't let him bully us. He didn't loosen his grip at all. I clenched my fist, preparin' for a fight. I wasn't scared to fight the Jordan Brothers! They might be a few years older than us, but I know Tommy and I can take 'em.

Then he said somethin' that would've scared me shitless a few years ago...

"The Foreman says hello." My stare wavered and I looked down for a second, before raisin' my head again and death-stared him again. I was tryin' to form a plan of attack that wouldn't end up in either or both of us endin' up dead in an alleyway in the East End.

By that time, Fink had given Tommy Boy his papers, and he managed to get behind Joey without gettin' punched. Tommy grabbed Dan's left shoulder with his right hand and tore him away from me, his hand comin' away from my arm.

Tommy threw him to the ground and punched him hard in the face. The punch drew blood and Joey looked even more pissed off than usual.

"Run Cat!" He yelled. I was lookin' around for Joey and Fink, but a massive stack of papers had fallen, or had been pushed, in front of the door they had to get through to get to us. Joey and Fink were swearin' at us through the barred window of the door.

"Run!" I looked back at Tommy and Dan. Dan had a small cut on his face and Tommy was sprintin' towards me, his 100 papers still under his left arm. I still had mine and he grabbed the arm that wasn't supportin' the papers and tugged me out of the distribution square.

I locked the gates and we ran away from them as fast as we could, down slippery streets and across rain-soaked roads, until we collapsed out of breath with laughter on the wet, cold grass of the Victoria Tower Gardens, near my sellin' spot; I swear I didn't plan it this time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter! I’m looking forward to you reading the next ones! Please like and roblog. Have a perfect day!

[revolutionnaire-farouche]

When the party's over (Enjolras x Reader)

I don't own the gif!

Warnings: None!

Summary: Modern!AU Enjolras takes care of you when you drink too much in a party.

Notes: I hope you enjoy this one. And Happy New Year to everyone. ♥️

It was holidays, and everyone was free at last...from college. At least for some time. So Grantaire wanted to celebrate this with a gather. Well, it started with a gather, but it ended up with way more people than just your friends and you, and with a huge party taking place in the apartment he share with Enjolras.

When you arrived with Cosette, Musichetta, and Eponine, you were clearly shocked about how many people were really there, and you spend some minutes looking for your friends.

When you finally found them, they were already drinking and joking around, but when they saw you, they were quickly to greet you. Everyone was laughing a lot. Except Enjolras, who looked kind of pissed actually, but you thought that it was surely because of all the people in his house. But he probably attended anyway because he wanted to look after his friends. His serious face was your weakness, but even if you unconsciously stared at him, you distract yourself talking with the others.

Grantaire invited you to take some shots, and you gladly accepted. But at some point you didn't notice, you forgot how many shots you drink, and everything was getting a little fuzzy.

Enjolras was now standing against a wall, watching after the rest of you. Grantaire was now doing shots with Courfeyrac, and Combeferre and Feuilly were with them, looking. Cosette and Marius were in the couch talking, and doing they usual couple stuff. Eponine, Joly, Bossuet, Musichetta, Jehan and Bahorel were laughing at one side. But what was weird for him, is that he didn't saw you with them, and he knew you always stayed with Eponine and Musichetta at this kind of parties. Then he remembered how you were drinking, which made him worried, so without thinking about it twice, he started looking for you between all the people.

After a few of minutes, he finally saw you. You were talking with two guys he didn't recognized, and they seemed kind of flirty, and you seemed really drunk. After watching the scene sometime, he decided he wouldn't let you alone in that state, so he approached you.

"Hey, Y/N, I..." He politely said, looking at you, but also giving glares to the men that were with you. But he was interrupted because when you saw him, you really feel like hugging him, so you did it, and before he could notice, you were wraping your arms around his waist, and hiding your face on his chest. You normaly enjoyed his company, and now that you had a few of drinks, you were delighted to see him.

"Hi, Enjy!" You said joyfully, to which Enjolras couldn't hide a smile, he thought it sounded really cute. But the other two guys were glaring at him.

"You're ok?" He asked you while softly hugging you back.

"Yup. I never been better." You break te hug to look at him, but you wobbled a bit.

"Watch out." Enjolras said while grabbing you by your back, before you fell.

"Thank you, mon beau" You answered chuckling. Putting one of your arms around his waist. But all the sudden shake made you felt kind of sick. "Uhm...Enj?"

"What happened?" He gave you a worried look.

"I'm not feeling so good right now" You frowned while looking at the floor.

"Shit. Right. Take deep breathes, and we're going to walk slowly, ok?" You nod at him, as he hold you tighter. You were focusing in your breath, so you let Enjolras guide you.

You left your two friends behind, while they were staring at Enjolras for taking you away. He pass through the people with you by his side. Until he got the hallway where Grantaire's bedroom, and his bedroom were. He went in front of the door of Grantaire's bedroom, because it was the closest one. When he knocked, one familiar voice quickly answered "Sorry, it's taken!" followed by little female laugh you also knew.

"That's Marius?" You said while you were still feeling sick.

"I don't really want to know" He started walking again, this time to his room. He knocked before getting in, because he didn't want to see something weird inside, but when nobody answered, he entered with you, leaving the door open behind. He let you go for a second to take away some books that were over the bed, leaving them over his desk.

"You can rest here while I get you some water, ok?" He softly grabbed your hand again, guiding you to his bed.

"Sure..." You sat, but you quickly let yourself lay in bed, and you took a few more deep breathes.

"You're comfortable?" Enjolras said while walking towards the door.

"Yeah, nice bed" You smile, but you quickly noticed that you felt like the room was spinning now, so you just close your eyes really thight.

"I'm going to get you some water, you want anything else?" He said, now standing on the door, but when he looked at you he noticed that you had your eyes closed. "You are ok?"

"Some water would be great, actually. And yeah, I'm great, don't worry, mon Apollon." You opened one of your eyes, to see him, and you gave him a smile.

He gave you another smile, as he left the room to get to the kitchen again. Those were a lot of petnames for him coming from you, and everytime you called him with a new one, he slightly blushed, but being blushed because of you was nothing new for him. When he got to the living room, everyone was already really drunk, Grantaire was dancing with Courfeyrac over the table, and Eponine was recording them, and all the others were around them, cheering. He went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. On his way back, a few of girls tried to dance with him, but he dissmiss them, because he was taking care of you.

When he returned, you were in the same position, but now covering your eyes with your arm.

"I'm back. Do you want me to turn off the lights and leave just the hallway's light?" You slowly sat on bed, and Enjolras handed you the water.

"You just read my mind" You chuckled while opening the water bottle, taking a few sips.

Enjolras turn off the lights, and he left the door open.

"You're feeling better?" He sat next to you, giving you a caring look.

"Well, the room is spinning slower, so that's a good sign I think" Enjolras laughed to that sentence, and seeing his smile made you feel even better.

"Yeah, I think that's a good sign."

He noticed goosebumps in your arms, so he softly touched it. "Hey, you're cold?"

"Yes, kind of, but it's nothing" You shrugged while talking another sip of water. But Enjolras got up, and walk towards his closet. And after some minutes searching, he grabbed one of his red hoodies.

"Put on this, it will make you feel better" He said while he sat next to you, now in the other side of the bed, and he handed you his hoodie.

"Oh, thank you, Enjy" You giggle while grabbing the hoodie, and you tried to put it on, but you got stuck halfway. "Uhhh...Can you help me? I'm trapped, don't laugh"

"Sure" Enjolras bit to hide a laugh, as he helped you put on the hoodie, when you finally had it on, your hair was tousled, which made him laugh even more, as he tried to brush the hairs out of your face with his hands.

"Enj, you don't really have do stay with me, you know that, right?" You said softly, because you were feeling a little guilty about having someone to take care of you in a party.

"I know it, but I'm not going to leave you feeling sick. Now get some rest, yeah? When you wake up tomorrow you have water on the bedside table" He left a few more caresses in your hair, while you made yourself comfortable again in the bed.

"Ugh, you're so perfect" You said with a smile, while looking at him, seeing a obvious blush over his cheeks. It was clear that you still drunk. "I could watch those blushed cheeks all day"

"Thanks, really. But get some rest" He said smiling, trying to ignore how hot his face was.

"Sûr. Bonne nuit, mon trésor" You muttered, before closing your eyes.

After a few of minutes while Enjolras was caressing your hair, you were already asleep. Once he was sure you were asleep, he left a kiss on your forehead, and he slowly got up from the bed, walking towards the door.

"Fais de beaux rêves, ma chérie" He said with a smile, before leaving.

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG153! … Abridged version because I messed up my planning orz

- And we finally got an actual Corruption statement this season!! You made it into season 4, babe!!

I like how its Crawling Moment Of Awesomeness came little by little:

(MAG140) BASIRA: Er… Jon. What’s this. [DRY SOUND] ARCHIVIST: Mm? … Oh. That’s… [SILENCE] That, uh, that’s… my rib? BASIRA: … Right. [PUTS IT DOWN] ARCHIVIST: Yup… BASIRA: And… the jar of ashes. ARCHIVIST: Not– Not mine; I–I mean, it belongs to me, I–I guess, but it’s not… Er, stationery is in the other drawer?

(MAG145) ARTHUR: [SNORT] Slumlording over a nest. GERTRUDE: Oh. A nest of… what? ARTHUR: Found a mass of the Crawling Rot growing, a while back. Managed to get a hold of the property before it became too big. Gotta wait ‘til it blossoms before we can properly burn it.

(MAG152) HELEN: Hello, Jon. Been a while since you’ve been down here. ARCHIVIST: [ANGRY EXHALE] I didn’t come here to see you. HELEN: Oh, come now. I’m sure I’m more interesting company than the late Jane Prentiss. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … It’s all that left of her now. Apart from a… jar of ashes in my desk. Just a circle of rotten stone on an otherwise… unremarkable wall.

(MAG153) ARCHIVIST: This, well… The Corruption at work, if I had to guess, though with unsettling echoes of a… “Fleshliness”.

Jane, The Hive, Jane&The Hive, and now The Corruption for itself.

It’s… an obvious things given Smirke’s name for it (well, at least Gerry’s), but one of the things I find very interesting with Corruption is how it… does that. Rather than insects for themselves, it “corrupts” something, quite often perceived as “pure” and/or “absolute”: Jane craving for “something beyond [her]self” (MAG032), the malarial research turning horribly badly (MAG045), Private Amherst giving his bed to the injured soldiers who needed it more than him (MAG068), little Gordon helping the old Maggie (MAG084), Lester Chang’s not-that-healthy new relationship with his father-in-law and his subsequent obsession for cleanliness (MAG093), Benoît Maçon’s desperation for love (MAG102), Jon’s third victim from season 4 (MAG146: “A man rejected by all who knew him, searching ever-darker places for love. When he told me his story, he started… weeping maggots.”), The Divine Chain cult turning the notion of selfless love into a requirement (MAG153)… which tied in with everything turning Wrong when the dog “Agapē” joined it and that so-called ~pure~ love just opened the door for… spooks.

- But also:

(MAG153, Barbara Mullen-Jones) “I hit my “lowest point” when I turned 41. That’s when my life came crashing down; at least on the inside. From the outside, I’m sure everything looked… pretty much okay. I was getting gigs, I had a job, I had plenty of friends and a supportive family… But that was when I started to properly look at my life, and I… really didn’t like what was looking back…! I was a stand-up comedian, you see, and a really good one. That’s not boasting, that’s just the truth. And I’d always assumed that that was enough to eventually have real success. And for the first… ten years, it seemed like I was right. I worked my way up, performed for basically nothing basically every night, and got to be pretty successful.

… And I stayed that way for the next ten years. [SIGH]

Trouble is, do you know how much a “pretty successful comedian” makes? Let’s just say I had a full-time office job and was still barely making rent. But between working full-time and gigging full-time, I just kept putting off everything else in my life. Always so sure the big time was just around the corner. “This is the TV spot that gets me noticed.” “This is the sell-out fringe show that makes me mainstream.” “This is the deal that actually goes somewhere.”

I made it through turning 40 with my self-image intact, but for some reason, at 41 I just… cracked. I realised I had spent most of my life with nothing to show for it but a few awards no one cares about, a string of… awful comedian exes who broke up with me for being funnier than them… and a dreadful office job [SIGH] I was going to be working until I died, because I’d never bothered to build a stable career. I was never going to own a home; never going to have kids; never going to have the life I’d spent my entire youth sacrificing for.”

… Yes, I know I just quoted the whole beginning of the statement but: a lot of the RQ crew and their friends are comedians, sooo, uhhh. RQ folks, are you okay.

- Abridged version as promised, but things I liked: how you could understand why the statement-giver got wrapped up in the cult, but also how… she didn’t really belong there indeed, because she was mostly focusing on the form of it (the kind words, the contact, the work in itself, the wine production), like she was attracted to the gratuitous symbolisms around the meditation course, but not truly receptive to… the meat of things, what was behind the shape of it, what was at the core?

How she was, at the end, extremely petty about the cult’s failure (“There’s a part of me that’s glad. A sick little part that’s happy that whatever “love” was there, whatever I couldn’t be a part of, is gone from the world. And no one else gets it either.”).

How, oops, a fair amount of officers in the American police may have signed their local equivalent of a Section 31 form… or else, Gertrude or Adelard had been around, because explosives (“The compound was destroyed in an “accidental generator explosion”, and everything was gone.”)

How, once again, we got a statement with an exterior shape reminescent of different Fears (Jon pointing it out at the end, a “fleshliness”), like a few other recent ones? Though this one was a bit spelled out for us. (“And when you’re at that point, it’s astounding what can crawl into your heart – and start to fester there. […] Or if they… came about after things started to change. Started to go rotten.”)

How the statement was about leaving everything to settle in America… while later in the episode, Julia&Trevor revealed that they had come back from it to England.

How the simple representation of the world encouraged by the cult found a kind of echo with Julia&Trevor, simplistically separating people between monsters (preys) and the rest?

- … So, once again: why is Jon reading these specific statements, since he came back from Ny-Ålesund?

* MAG146, “Threshold”: Jon did mention that he had been pulled towards that one when he began to focus on Hill Top Road (“I spent so long looking for it, back when I found his father’s, and… no luck. But now, I decide to start looking properly into Hill Top Road, and all of a sudden… I’m drawn to rearrange a filing cabinet – and what do I find behind it?”)

* MAG147, “Weaver”: left by Annabelle to Fuck Him Up.

* MAG148, “Extended Surveillance”: Beholding, someone getting taken over by Beholding and obsessing over his friend.

* MAG150, “Cul-de-Sac”: Hey, The Power Of MLM Love Can Save Someone From The Lonely Zone If You Reach For Them xoxoxo.

* MAG152, “A Gravedigger’s Envy”: Someone falling deeper and deeper (ha) into their shiny new patron and Enjoying What They’re Doing.

* MAG153, “Love Bombing”: how someone got indoctrinated into a cult, and dodged a bullet by being dismissed from it because they didn’t believe/Feel It enough.

Has it been Annabelle still messing with him? Beholding? A reflection of Jon’s own preoccupations, that’s been leading him towards the few last ones?

- Aka: was that once again Annabelle cackling in Jon’s face because WOW, these first few lines sure felt like someone cackling in Jon’s face:

(MAG153, Barbara Mullen-Jones) “Everyone thinks they’re too smart to get involved in a cult. I’m sure you do. You think, that at the first mention of “aliens”, or the end of the world, or the lost book of the Bible, where Jesus buried his Holy Staff in the foothills of the Himalayas… you’d go running. Trouble is, that misunderstands how it works. I mean, when I was with The Divine Chain, some of the smartest people there were also the most committed. Intelligence doesn’t make you less prone to taking on bad ideas, it just makes you better at defending them…! To other people, and to yourself. Smart people can believe some truly ridiculous things, and then deploy all the reason and logic at their disposal to justify them. Because belief doesn’t begin in your mind – it begins in your feelings.”

… So once again, Jon’s reaction is a priceless “jON???” moment because:

(MAG153) ARCHIVIST: Statement ends. [SIGH] … I swear. I almost find the cult dedicated to the Dark Powers of Fear easier to understand than the more mundane sort. At least they have some consistency.

“What’s going on?” / Jon: *clicks “I’m in this statement and I don’t like it.”*

Oh My Gods, Jon… you read so many statements… they work/proceed exactly the same… getting you when you’re vulnerable… filling in what you’re craving and lacking, with the mix of “making you think you were shaped for them” and “shaping you for them” in turn…

(At least, he wasn’t in denial over the fact that the Dread Powers are “cults”. That would have been harder for him to do, anyway; and he didn’t deny it in the past when Georgie (MAG083, “Look me in the eyes and tell me that it’s not part of the cult or whatever the hell it was that left you homeless.”) and Jude (MAG089, “I don’t suppose I could talk to anyone else in your, um…” “It’s fine, you can call it a cult.”) both used the term. Still. Jon, there is no comfort/pride/excuse to get by trying to claim that the Fears Gods you’ve been involved with are more effective than your ~regular~ cults.)

- … How did Julia&Trevor manage to leave America? Last time we had heard of them, they were stuck:

(MAG109) ARCHIVIST: And… [SIGH] why America? JULIA: [FAINT GROAN] TREVOR: [CHUCKLE] Heard tell there were a wolfman…! JULIA: [LAUGH] TREVOR: Old Dave, he’s down in Plymouth, swore blind his brother had seen one on the Pacific Crest trail– JULIA: I told Trevor he was a liar, but here we are anyway. Have been for a couple of years…! TREVOR: Hey, now – no wolfman, sure, but there’ve been plenty out here that would needs killing! JULIA: [LONG-SUFFERING SIGH] True enough. Plus, it’s hard to leave. We’re not exactly here legally and trying to get a flight home would get us noticed by authorities we’d rather avoid. TREVOR: I keep telling her we could hop a boat! JULIA: And I tell him I’d rather stay hunting here than trap myself on a boat for two weeks!

(Julia has Bad History with water.)

- I wasn’t incredibly clear on the post-statement scenography – I assumed there had been a gunshot at first (but it wasn’t tagged in the content warnings, although it had consistently been in previous episodes), so was that loud bang… Jon’s door? Or the trapdoor? being violently banged open?

(There was the chair scraping on the floor when Julia was ordering Jon to stay sitting, so for that, I pictured her hands on his shoulder and at some point, them pinning his arms in his back and slamming his head on the table.)

- Loving how Julia’s perception of Jon doesn’t change:

(MAG107) JULIA: We can chat in the car! I’m sure you’ve got a ton of librarian stories, the miles will just fly by.

(MAG153) JULIA: Sure. Or: I slit your little bookworm’s throat…!

Jon Is Just A Nerd, uh.

- I really love how Jon “Can’t Shut His Mouth” Sims and Julia “Sims, Shut The Fuck Up” Montauk’s dialogue:

(MAG153) ARCHIVIST: [VENOMOUS] Gerry wasn’t “yours”. You had no right– [SLAMMING SOUND] TREVOR: Oh, you hear that, Julia? “Gerry”. JULIA: Sounds like it got pretty chummy…! Where is he? […] JULIA: Sure. Or: I slit your little bookworm’s throat…! DAISY: Do it. That give me a chance to finish off your dad. TREVOR: I’m not her father…! ARCHIVIST: Not by blood, maybe…! JULIA: Shut. it. ARCHIVIST: [GROAN OF PAIN]

… was basically an exchange of “YOU’RE JUST A USELESS BI” “OH YEAH? AND YOU HAVE DADDY ISSUES.”

Jon. Jon, please.

(Guuuh over Julia’s “You always do what evil books tell you to, do you?” because… she can’t know, but to say that to someone who had almost been taken by Mr Spider because following the book’s thread? Aouch.)

- And my heart BREAKS over the fact that Julia&Trevor are reproaching him… what was the Most Obviously Anti-Beholding thing Jon has ever done, back in season 3 – fulfilling the promise he had made to Gerry, and freeing/actually killing him, even if it caused himself pain in the process. But for Julia&Trevor, it’s precisely what made him an enemy just like any other monster.

(MAG153) ARCHIVST: He asked me to. JULIA: Oh, really? You always do what evil books tell you to, do you? TREVOR: Gotta say, I’m disappointed. Genuinely thought you were different. But you’re just another monster. Not even worth the chase…! JULIA: You want the honours, old man. TREVOR: Don’t mind if I do~!

Aouch. (I wonder what part of it was rightful anger at being deprived of their “monster manual”, and how much was actually a pretext to kill someone they had so far deemed as vaguely spooky, though? Interestingly, they didn’t mention that they felt like Jon had gotten worse or anything. According to their words, they only wanted to kill Jon because they felt that he had betrayed them and that siding with Gerry meant that he was “another monster”.)

- And bringing back the mention of Gerry and the book… also puts Eric Delano back to mind. Gerry only knew that his mother had used his father as training material with the book, but he didn’t find him inside. We know that Mary gave Gertrude a page, implying that it was Eric’s (“what’s left of him”), but Jon didn’t find it in Gertrude’s secret stash either:

(MAG111) GERARD: I never knew my dad. Not really. He worked in the Archives like you, but quit once I was born. I think he wanted to help raise me. But mum didn’t need the help, and after me she wasn’t able to have kids again, so she killed him in his sleep to practice her bookbinding. I guess she failed. I always thought he was in here, but when I eventually got hold of it, there wasn’t a page in there.

(MAG062) MARY: The End, of course. I could never truly serve it; I just don’t find death that interesting. I’ve always found a singular devotion far too restrictive. Just ask Eric… or what’s left of him. […] GERTRUDE: And do you have any proof of this? Your… “magic book”. MARY: Yeah. [PAPER RUSTLING] You can keep this page. I made sure it was in English. GERTRUDE: Go– Who… who is it? MARY: A surprise, dear. Just make sure you’re alone when you read it. [CHAIR SCRAPING] Goodbye, Gertrude. Wish me luck. [DOOR OPENING] [DOOR CLOSING] GERTRUDE: Well. I–I don’t… really know what to add to that. If what she says is true, I should think carefully before reading this page aloud. I should probably destroy it. [GRUNT] I do rather hate the smell of burning skin. Anyway… that’s a decision for another day. [CHAIR SCRAPING] [FLOORBOARD OPENING] [FLOORBOARD CLOSING] […] ARCHIVIST: […] But in spite of all that, I’m… strangely excited. Because what sticks out to me more than anything else in that tape… is the very distinctive floorboard, at the end. [CLOTHES RUFFLING] One that hasn’t changed in the eight years since this statement was given. There’s never been any reason to look closely at a random section of floor. This bit wasn’t even breached by any of the worms. [FLOORBOARD OPENS] Because it had Gertrude’s hidden compartment beneath it. Hmm. No… strange skin page. But there is a laptop. And a key. I wonder what it opens. End supplement. [CLICK.]

So… the question is still up – did Gertrude burn the page in the end? We know that she had burned a few things down in the tunnels, including at least one Leitner. Did she keep the page and is it stored somewhere? And if so… why would have she kept it? Eric was likely one of her assistants before Gerry was born, and Gertrude sounded… rather fond of him:

(MAG085) ARCHIVIST: Date of original statement unclear, though paper quality likely puts it at between twenty and thirty years ago. […] There are some… short pieces of correspondence in the file, addressed to Gertrude, from someone called, er, Eric Delano, confirming that while he typed out this statement, he has no memory of doing so, and requesting some sick leave to address… persistent migraines he has developed.

(MAG137) GERTRUDE: […] And I will admit I’ve grown… fond of the boy. I wonder, if I told him about Eric – whether he’d follow in his father’s footsteps. Still, that’s not like it kept Eric safe in The End.

A few things: Gerry did point out to Jon that he was surprised that Gertrude had apparently managed to get Mary to teach her how to book-bind (MAG111: “I just had to make sure I took the book while my mum was fading, and brought it to her, and then she would free me. I didn’t really believe her, I don’t think, but I did it anyway. When she returned the book to me a week later, her pages burned and mangled, I think I actually cried with relief. I never even considered that my mum might have taught Gertrude how to make pages for it before she was destroyed.”). Could Gertrude have learned it through Eric instead of Mary? Gerry also mentioned that, beyond the fact that Gertrude had chosen to imprison him within the book, he didn’t understand why she had left him behind (MAG111: “I think… I think I finally understand why she brought me back. I just don’t understand why she left me behind.”) – and, indeed, why…? Was it because she had been too freaked out by her arrest (although the book… stayed behind, unclaimed, and she could have got her hands back on it legally)? Was it because Gertrude wanted to leave behind a few hints about her actions, in case she got killed before achieving her goals? Was it because she wanted to retrieve it later, when things would be safer…? (That’d be extremely sentimental coming from her, but if she had kept Eric’s page… could it be that she had planned for Gerry and Eric to meet somehow at some point? If so: AOUCH, because Jon gave Gerry what he wanted, what he asked for… but if Jon were to discover that Eric’s page was still intact and that Gerry could have met his father at last? That… would hurt, uh.)

- Julia&Trevor being back in the game means that they… potentially share a connection with everyone in Team Archives, one way or another:

* Jon was Hunted by Julia, kidnapped/“bodyguarded” by her (MAG107), took Julia&Trevor’s statement about how they met (MAG109), stole Gerry’s page from them (MAG111) before burning it (MAG117). They were already on the fence about Jon’s status as a potential prey back then, but they had at least some interests in common with him (the world not ending, perceiving Max Mustermann as an enemy); right now, Julia&Trevor are clearly labelling Jon as a target and as an overall “monster” – plus, they have the grudge about the page and… there is the fact that Jon’s dreams contained them:

(MAG153) JULIA: [LAUGHS] You’ve got something of ours. TREVOR: “Someone”. JULIA: Took him right from under our noses…! TREVOR: In our own house. JULIA: I call that rude, don’t you? ARCHIVIST: [VENOMOUS] Gerry wasn’t “yours”. You had no right– [SLAMMING SOUND] TREVOR: Oh, you hear that, Julia? “Gerry”. […] Not gonna ask you again, son. ARCHIVIST: I burned the page. Released him. [SILENCE] TREVOR: Aren’t that right noble of you. JULIA: Proper humanitarian. TREVOR: So. [INHALE] Let me get this straight! We take ye in; protect ye from the thing that’s huntin’ ye… JULIA: Spared your life! Even though you’re no better. TREVOR: Help you; give you access to one of our most valuable resources; and you steal it from us, piss off back to England, and then… burn it?! [SHUFFLING] That’s just inconsiderate.

(MAG120) ELIAS: The dark building is newer, but he knows it well; knows the two lost souls who creep through it with an alert hunger on their faces. He recognizes that look from the other Hunter whose dreams he's watched for so long. They stalk the darkness itself, and hope to catch and kill it before it can do the same to them. They see him watching, but they cannot catch his scent.

… Even for Jon’s standards, that’s a lot. Usually, people wanted him dead because of the “Archivist” title and/or because he was marked by The Eye (Jane Prentiss, the Not!Them, Nikola, Michael-The-Distortion in MAG101…), not for… personal reasons, for things Jon himself had done. (… The only exception had been, interestingly… Daisy. Daisy who wanted to rip him apart because he had forced her to give him her statement, and because she kept seeing him in her dreams.)

(* Obviously Peter, and potentially Martin, because:

(MAG153) TREVOR: [SHAKING SIGH] … Come on, Julia. JULIA: What?! TREVOR: There’s no rush. [CHORTLING] We’ve got all the time in the world. Besides… this place is just full of monsters. She can’t guard ’em all.

There Are Other “Monsters” Here.

Would they sense the spooks from Martin, nowadays…?)

* Daisy used to be a Hunter like them, but has decided to stop serving. Trevor used to perceive The Hunt as an “addiction”, occasionally managed to make himself quit it, but when Jon met him in June 2017, Trevor had returned to The Hunt and already decided that he was getting a fair deal out of it, all things considered:

(MAG056, Trevor Herbert) “In the early 80s, I was deep in the grip of my twin addictions. As I mentioned, after a while, The Hunt became an addiction of its own. Of the two, I’ve always found heroin the easier one to quit. […] But The Hunt… the hunt is a purpose. It’s not just a way to get through the day, it’s a reason for there to be a day at all. […] Ah, it’s a shame I’m on the way out. I will miss The Hunt.”

(MAG109) ARCHIVIST: I–I mean, yes… But the situation has changed quite a bit. Last I heard, you were dying of lung cancer…! TREVOR: I was. ARCHIVIST: And now…? TREVOR: I’m not. [CHUCKLE] ARCHIVIST: And, and that doesn’t strike you as… odd. TREVOR: Not much I see these days isn’t “odd”, somehow or other. Not gonna turn my nose up at that one bit that worked out well for me. I hunt monsters; my lungs don’t kill me. [HUFF] Seems like a fair trade. No big job, today.

Daisy antagonised them both, Julia & Daisy are quite obviously ready and willing to jump at each other’s throat again… Which is a bad sign for Daisy, since they’re bringing back her murderous thoughts.

(On the one hand, their antagonism could push Daisy back into The Hunt’s waiting arms. On the other hand… it could go another way – though that would feel very hopeful: now that Trevor has been acknowledged as being a father figure for Julia… could it lead to Trevor pushing Julia out of The Hunt, because he would care more about her well-being than about hunting with her and he knows what a life of Hunt does to you?)

* BASIRA WAS WITH THE SECTION’D OFFICERS WHO RAIDED RAYNER’S LAST BODY-THEFT ATTEMPT, AND SHE WITNESSED HIS DEATH.

Especially since Basira&Jon have just come out of a mini-Dark arc… it feels especially relevant? Julia lost both her mother and her father to the People’s Church of the Divine Host, because of Rayner, and she had herself been scared of The Dark for long:

(MAG109) JULIA: There was another reason that I chose to work nights. If you read my statement, then I’m sure it will come as no surprise that for most of my life, I’ve had a pretty significant fear of the dark. I used to lie awake at night; listening, straining my ears for the noise of movement or that… dreadful growl coming out of the dark. It was one of my better counsellors that suggested I try working nights as a way to address it. And it worked! For the most part.

Amongst other things, we recently had confirmation of what had happened to Julia’s mom through Manuela’s statement:

(MAG143) MANUELA: You were not the first to try and stop us, you know. Not even within living memory. I was but newly joined when [Lynette] fled the Church, and Maxwell had her silenced. But I remember her brute of a husband. He fed the beast for us, you know, when first he believed [Lynette] might still be saved. Then, later, we faithful served as his fuel to banish it. But, not for long. That’s the thing about Darkness, isn’t it? You try your hardest to eradicate, flood your surroundings with light, but it’s always there at the edges – waiting for the glow to weaken, to return and cover you forever. Robert Montauk discovered that the hard way.

(And in return: Manuela mentioned that Darvish had “crossed a Montauk, which has… traditionally gone poorly for us.”, which was an allusion to Julia and was covered by the story she told Jon in MAG109.)

Why Robert Montauk did what he did and what happened to her mother could still be elements that Julia would be interested to know. (Or… not anymore, because she tried to leave that life behind her, but… still, I have trouble picturing that it would be a coincidence that she would be back right after Jon&Basira heard that story.)

* … I’m especially worried about Melanie, since her “connection” to Trevor&Julia is that… they burned down the Ivy Meadows care home, including what was left of Melanie’s father:

(MAG036, Nicole Baxter) “I turned and began to sprint back towards my car. I had to get away, to get out. Then, without warning, I felt something heavy hit me in the side and I lost my footing, falling to the ground. I looked up to see an old man pinning me to the ground, his long, white beard matted and filthy. I screamed and tried to escape, but his age seemed to have done nothing to diminish his strength, and he kept his grip easily. Then he spoke in a thick Mancunian accent and told me to keep my voice down. I noticed that his skin was unblemished pink, and behind him stood a young woman, tall and lean with close-cropped hair and a deep scar over her right eye. She carried a large canvas bag, and was shaking her head, telling the old man to leave me alone. After a few suspicious glances, he got up. I could swear I recognised him from somewhere, but when I asked the two of them who they were, they just shook their heads and told me to leave. I asked them what was going on, and the old man looked at his companion, as if asking permission, said something about knowledge being a good defence here. She shook her head and said that leaving quickly was a better one. I didn’t need to be told a third time. I got in my car, and I left them to their work. I didn’t turn around even when I saw the smoke start to rise behind me.”

[…] ARCHIVIST: The Ivy Meadows Care Home in Woodley was officially decommissioned in July 2011, a month before the first of these alleged calls came in. It burned down on the 4th of September that same year after a leaking gas main caught fire.

(MAG106) ELIAS: Your father was your last real anchor, wasn’t he? [STATIC RISES.] MELANIE: That’s none of your business. ELIAS: Perhaps. Five years is plenty of time to grieve. It’s a real tragedy, isn’t it – dementia? Oh, especially so early. But he always remembered you, didn’t he? “Little moth”. MELANIE: Shut. up. ELIAS: At least, you got him into a decent care home. Hard to afford on an irregular income like yours, but… your mother’s life-insurance helped plenty. And Ivy Meadows wasn’t as expensive as some of them! It’s a shame, about the fire. But I’d have thought it would offer something of a relief. MELANIE: Wh–what are you talking about…? ELIAS: Oh. Of course. They told you he died in his sleep, didn’t they? Smoke inhalation. A real tragedy, but at least he didn’t suffer. MELANIE: I… ELIAS: Do you want to know what really killed him? [STATIC RISES] MELANIE: [SHOCKED INHALE] [RAGGED BREATHING] [TAPE RECORDER HISSING] ELIAS: Awful, isn’t it? He really suffered. Not… really your fault, just bad luck. MELANIE: [RAGGED BREATHING TURNING INTO SOBS] ELIAS: That doesn’t comfort you, does it?

And I have no idea how Melanie will take that news. Able to remain stable and/or to decide that it may have been a mercy-kill? Refusing to feel any gratitude-adjacent feeling towards then, since they did it as Hunters (so, not to save innocents or to put the residents out of their suffering… but because there were monsters to kill)? Anger and resentment at what they did? (Would Melanie team up with them if it’s about tracking down Amherst…?)

- … So, Julia and Trevor just Got Inside Of The Institute Like That, and violence’d Jon, and would have gone for the kill if Daisy hadn’t stepped in:

(MAG153) TREVOR: Gotta say, I’m disappointed. Genuinely thought you were different. But you’re just another monster. Not even worth the chase…! JULIA: You want the honours, old man. TREVOR: Don’t mind if I do~! JULIA: [CHUCKLES] TREVOR: [CHUCKLES] DAISY: [FAR] Get away from him.

……………….. So, once again: pETER.

(S4 trailer) MARTIN: … Yeah. Yeah, I know. [PAUSE] I’m, er… I’m actually with him now. [SNIFFING] You were right. [PAUSE] … yeah. Yeah, I know. [LONG INHALE] I… [EXHALE] … Will they be safe? [PAUSE] … Okay… [INHALE] Okay! I’ll do it. Yeah. Sure thing.

(MAG126) PETER: Martin, this is what we agreed. After The Flesh attacked, you came to me. MARTIN: [SIGH] PETER: And I’ve held up my end of the bargain, despite your continued hesitation. Your friends have been largely untroubled by the many – many – enemies that they have made. MARTIN: What about the delivery guy? Breekon. And the coffin? PETER: Was that its name? To be honest with you, I thought it was dead. MARTIN: You thought wrong. PETER: True enough. And as soon as I learned it was here, I moved to intervene, but, well. It turns out I wasn’t really needed. And as far as the coffin goes, there’s not much I can do about a bull-headed Archivist– MARTIN: [EXPLOSIVE EXHALE] PETER: –who seems hellbent on self-destruction. My powers only extend so far. […] As I said, one of the last shreds of the Circus delivered a gateway into Too-Close-I-Cannot-Breathe. I went to help, but was too late. Then, your detective friend– MARTIN: No, she’s not a dete– PETER: –went on one of Elias’s wild-goose chases, then Jon wilfully hurled himself into the coffin. I did not intervene, because thankfully, I did not agree to protect your friends from their own idiocy.

(MAG142) MARTIN: … Anyway. So, what’s this field trip they’re on? DAISY: They, uh… they didn’t tell you? MARTIN: [DRY CHUCKLE] No, I… What. … [QUICKLY] Daisy, where have they gone? DAISY: You know that town in Norway? MARTIN: What? I… Wai– Wh–what?! You don’t mean Ny-Ålesund? DAISY: Yyyeah. They reckon there’s a ritual they need to, you know… MARTIN: Yeah, but Peter didn’t even men–…! [OPENS DRAWERS, SHUFFLES THROUGH THINGS] I don’t believe this! DAISY: Sorry. Shouldn’t have said anything. MARTIN: No, no, it’s… thank you, I just… [CLOSES DRAWER] For God’s sake, can he not stay safe for like, for like ten minutes?!

(MAG151) MARTIN: How honest has he been with me? SIMON: About which part? MARTIN: Protecting the others. SIMON: I think he tried. I suspect he may have slightly exaggerated his abilities when you first made the deal, but he certainly expended a reasonable amount of influence and resources to follow through. MARTIN: But… [EXPLOSIVE SIGH] But that was never the endgame, was it? He just wanted me on side long enough to rope me into his… his plans for The Extinction.

1°) I doubt that we’ll get to hear Martin learning about Julia&Trevor’s irruption in the Archives on tape, but PLEASE, I WANT TO HEAR HIS SHRIEKS WHEN HE DOES…

2°) We’re more likely to hear him explode in Peter’s face about it, though.

3°) That is, if Peter doesn’t flee into The Lonely forever to escape Martin’s wrath. Jokes aside: I don’t think that Martin will be surprised, at this point, because Simon has now confirmed to him that… Peter isn’t as strong/useful as a defender as he claimed. And this probably won’t be a game-changer for Martin… unless it pushes him to press Peter to unfold The Plan already, at last, because the longer they wait, the longer Jon and the others are kept vulnerable.

(… Though: they should still be defenceless, whether Martin&Peter’s plan(s) succeed or not? Peter promised their safety, however… was he referring to extending his own protection to them (because we now have confirmation that that deal was mostly a scam), or because Martin would become something else and/or trigger something that could keep them safe in the long run…?)

- … Meanwhile, Elias had suggested another “defender” to Basira:

(MAG127) BASIRA: … So why am I here? What do you want that’s so important you needed to tell me to my face? ELIAS: I believe you’ve recently lost Melanie. BASIRA: … We saved Melanie. ELIAS: As a person, yes, but as a defender… I would have thought you would want all the help you could get, or… have you forgotten what happened last time you lay your guard down? BASIRA: … We’ll work it out. ELIAS: Possibly. Then again: you are beset by enemies on all sides, Basira. And unless you expect Jon to record them into submission, it would seem you’re in rather dire need of another option. BASIRA: … And you just happen to have one. ELIAS: I might have an idea, yes. BASIRA: And what does it cost? ELIAS: Just some of your time, Basira. Just your time.

(MAG135) BASIRA: Like hell you don’t! Every lead, a dead end. Every contact, vanished or dead. I’ve spent three weeks bouncing all over the globe on your bad intel, because you said there was a way to bring Daisy back. ELIAS: There was. It required you to be absent. BASIRA: [EXPLOSIVE EXHALE] You wanted him to go in there. ELIAS: And you would never have allowed it, had you been present. BASIRA: Why? ELIAS: Would you simply believe I wanted you and Daisy reunited? BASIRA: No.

… and did he mean Jon (who would have developed his powers further), or Daisy, in the end? Directly post-coffin, Basira had been absolutely disappointed in Daisy’s state:

(MAG133) BASIRA: Yeah, I just… I didn’t realise she’d change into someone who… can’t look after herself. ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] BASIRA: Even without the muscle atrophy. ARCHIVIST: You were hoping for a defender. BASIRA: I was hoping for someone I can trust to share the load. Because right now, it’s all on me. ARCHIVIST: [SLOC EXHALES] It doesn’t have to be. BASIRA: Hm. ARCHIVIST: You’re not happy she is back. BASIRA: I didn’t say that, Jon. I would never abandon Daisy and, having her back is… [SIGH] But right now, she’s dead weight. And I need to be able to travel light.

But Daisy is proving that she’s still… kicking a bit, indeed. Or at least enough to chase away Julia&Trevor despite her, uh, current state:

(MAG153) DAISY: [FAR] Get away from him. JULIA: Oh… TREVOR: What’s this…? You got yourself a watchdog? JULIA: Well, more of a lapdog…! Scrawny, isn’t she? DAISY: [MENACINGLY] I said get back…! TREVOR: Malnourished, I’d say. How long since you last tasted blood? DAISY: [SHARP BREATHING] JULIA: You think you can take us both~? DAISY: … I’d enjoy it. Start with the old bastard – he’s slower, doesn’t guard his neck. And you worry about him too much, don’t you? I go for him, you get sloppy, predictable. […] TREVOR: [SHAKING SIGH] … Come on, Julia. JULIA: What?! TREVOR: There’s no rush. [CHORTLING] We’ve got all the time in the world. Besides… this place is just full of monsters. She can’t guard ’em all. JULIA: [PANTING] … Fine. DAISY: [GROWLS] [DOOR SLAMMED CLOSE]

I’m not absolutely sure whether the final growl was hers or Trevor’s and/or Julia’s, but, in any case, GODS, I love how Daisy has turned fiercely protective of her idiot Archivist.

- And at the same time, I’m heartbroken over Daisy but IN A GOOD WAY because I… was really fearing that she might have gone back to hunting behind the tapes’ back. But no. It’s… “just” that not Hunting is slowly killing her:

(MAG153) ARCHIVIST: Are you alright? DAISY: [BREATHLESS] Don’t touch me. ARCHIVIST: Christ, he was right, I, I didn’t… When did you get so thin? DAISY: I’m not, it’s fine. ARCHIVIST: … It’s The Hunt, isn’t it? Without it– DAISY: I’m fine. Just haven’t been hungry. I’m strong enough. ARCHIVIST: Clearly. DAISY: They’re not gone yet. We could still get them. [CLOTHES SHUFFLING] ARCHIVIST: Daisy, no. It’s like you say. “Don’t listen to the blood.” DAISY: [SLOWER BREATHES] … “Listen to the quiet”…

… And I wasn’t expecting Jon to spontaneously remind her not to Chase. To respect what Daisy had been fighting for, although he tried to argue with her overall decision shortly after. Gods, so with Melanie going on an Eye-strike, Jon not taking live-statements anymore, and Daisy being slowly killed by (the lack of) The Hunt… current Team Archives is slowly crumbling, and how long can it truly last…? Unless they find a way to temper the effects, or get better after a very bad period…?

- Also, no wonder Melanie and Daisy were getting closer, aaaah!! Same mindset of choosing death over feeding/getting fed by a Dread Power… with some nuances between the two: I’d say that Melanie’s stance feels more… ethical, after all (she didn’t want to contribute to The Fears’ system), while Daisy’s is really about doing things on her terms and not letting anything control her anymore? Although, as she pointed out, she is aware of the fact that she herself used to be involved in a (non-spooky, still very harmful) system and to be protected by it:

(MAG153) ARCHIVIST: Even so, if it’s having this much of an effect on you– DAISY: I’m not going back. I can’t let it in again. ARCHIVIST: But it– … What if it kills you? DAISY: [CHORTLE] Always said I was dedicated to justice…! ARCHIVIST: Daisy! It’s not… You can’t think like that. DAISY: Jon. Do you have any idea how much damage you can do if you’re a police officer who wants to hurt people? How much the system will protect you? [SHARP INHALE FROM JON] I managed to keep most of it from Basira, but…

(Well, despite Daisy’s attempts to hide it from her, Basira did know at the very least about Daisy illegally killing “monsters”. Basira wasn’t Perfectly Pure And Innocent when it came to condoning it, either.)

- I’m love Daisy, I love how frank she is about what she did, the fact that it was her… and also, that she decided she wouldn’t condone those things anymore ;;

(MAG142) MARTIN: It’s alright. Wasn’t you. [INHALE] Not really. DAISY: No, it was. I hate… a lot of what I did back then; doesn’t mean I’m not… responsible for it, doesn’t mean it… wasn’t me.

(MAG153) ARCHIVIST: That wasn’t you, that was The Hunt! DAISY: … [SIGH] We were the same. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: … You’d never known anything different. [SILENCE] DAISY: Because I never wanted to.

… And she’s also, implicitly, throwing what Jon Taught Her at his face:

(MAG121) OLIVER: I made a choice. We all made choices. Now, you have to– […] Make your choice, Jon.

(MAG132) DAISY: I hurt… a l���lot of people… and some who… who I shouldn’t have. Did you ever hear the, the story Elias told me? About what I did. How I am… He, he didn’t get a detail wrong. The Hunt… Hunger was in me all my life. Telling me who to chase, how to hurt them. I never needed to think… who I was outside of that. But down here, where I… I can’t hear the… blood anymore, I d–, I don’t… I don’t know who I am without, without the chase… I just know… that I… I don’t like who I was back outside. I don’t want to be her again. I want… to be… better… [PANTS] Y–you know what I thought wh–when I woke up here? I thought this was hell; I wa–, I was dead, and within hell. And I… eh, I–I knew I deserved it… I don’t want t–to be a s–sadistic predator again… I–I don’t want to… hobble around, like some pathetic, wounded prey either… I don’t know which would be worse. And I’m sc–scared, now, that I’ll never get the choice… ARCHIVIST: One thing I’ve learned, Daisy, is that we all get a choice. Even if it doesn’t feel like one.

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: My– [PAUSE] [INHALE] [SIGH] My memories of the coma are not clear. But I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I… I don’t know if I made the right decision; I–I’m stronger now, tougher, I can… … If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever… I don’t know if that’s a bad thing.

(MAG153) DAISY: All that time trapped was good for one thing: thinking. And I did a lot of it. I’ve made my choice. ARCHIVIST: Okay…! So what do we do when they come back? DAISY: I don’t know.

(Jon… you threw out so many encouraging words but still didn’t follow through on them yourself, uh? Because meanwhile, he had already attacked two people, and was trying to convince himself that he was being manipulated/pushed into doing it without having a say in it…)

And Jon Trying To Argue Hurt A Lot, because it’s very obvious that he’s projecting / seeing himself in her? He was eight when he encountered Mr. Spider’s book. Daisy was eleven when she met something (Slaughter woman?) who turned Calvin Benchley against her; indeed, she’s “never known anything else”, and it shaped her as a person (she became “Daisy” because of the scar the experience left her with). So, if Daisy, who has taken a stance (to stop being a Hunter and hurt people), were to decide that in the end, it’s too painful, it’s not worth it… maybe Jon thinks that he wouldn’t feel too bad about doing the same?

But no, Daisy is still saying that it’s not worth going back to her patron and hurting people, stripping Jon of that excuse and possibility right away. I still have no idea whether Jon will take inspiration from Melanie&Daisy, but… whatever he chooses in the end, we’ve had prime demonstrations that it’d indeed be his own choice – not the Web manipulating him, not Beholding replacing by something else, not the “ineluctability” of becoming a careless or ruthless monster, just his own personal decision to hurt rather than be hurt.

So; I still have no idea, I still feel like only Martin is the only one who can make things go forwards at the moment, but also, lots of plot threads are accumulating to just… explode at the same time and make a carnage.

MAG153’s title is Magnificent in its simplicity and… evocations. So. Could be a Slaughter thing, with a mix of Team Archives (/Daisy) getting wasted, but obviously, it puts Mary Keay and The End to mind. Though I don’t know what else we could get about Mary? Jon hasn’t said anything about running out of the stash of Gertrude’s tapes from Elias’s office, so it… could be one of them again (last one was MAG145, Gertrude&Arthur) – Gertrude talking with Ended!Mary after having invoked her page? Something from Eric Delano (in written form, or a recording with Gertrude while he was alive or dead) about his ~lovely wife~?