#got his ass Beat

[unitt-10]

Gem took the phrase “kill your idols” a little too seriously—

[milimeters-morales]

citizens hear about daredevil trying to tame the spider-men with chinese take-out and don’t wonder why he doesn’t show up for the next two nights

[kittenscookie]

Percy: Hey dad?

Poseidon: Yes Percy?

Percy: I was just wondering, you used to be pretty ruthless—what changed? What made you wanna turn over a new leaf?

Poseidon: *Gets violent phantom pains in the scars he received after pushing a man with really sexy thighs way too far*

Percy: Dad?

Poseidon: *Swallows* Well son, you get older, you mature, you realize some actions were definitely out of proportion, and some lessons don't need to be relearned...

[irenespring]

Today I would like to shout out that one random Twitter person who made up that JD Vance bragged about fucking a couch.

Imagine making a random shitpost and less than two months later your joke is being used by a major party nominee for Vice President on live television at his introduction rally, earning him thunderous applause.

That poster must be having quite the experience.

[cozylittleartblog]

50+ deaths at 5 am got me yelling absolute nonsense to the bosses kicking my whole entire ass

[lotus-pear]

bike stickers

[cowboys-tshot]

Tiresias: i see a man who gets to make it home alive... but it's no longer you

Odysseus: then who the fuck gets to go home??

Tiresias: a piece of shit, that's who

[introspectivememories]

[rui-drawsbox]

idk what is going on in chapter 7 but im not sure if i wanna know tbh

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai's impeccable detective skills... only when it comes to you ~

"Uh-huh... And you said you were meeting someone last night?" Dazai pretends to jot down this information, his brows slightly furrowed as he scribbles into the notepad he conjured up from his long tan coat just a few seconds ago.

"Yes, that's correct."

"Ah, I see.. Fascinating. And how was it?"

"How was what?"

"Your date." He says, smugly. His head tilts in mock innocence, and his smile stays plastered on his lips while he watches you practically choke on your own spit. Now he's really going to start writing details down...

"Oh, no, it wasn't like that. Nothing that official, heh." You fidget with your fingers, looking down, and suddenly your shoelaces are the most interesting thing you've ever seen. You didn't think questioning would last this long, you weren't even involved in the crime, but this eccentric detective before you says all witnesses are vital for the investigation and you're just doing your civil duty as a valued member of society!

And this drives Dazai insane... how ridiculous that you don't have a clear standing within the life of whomever you were seeing. It should be a crime, really! If you were his, no one would ever hear the end of it. He hums to himself, nodding as if in deep thought as he draws a heart around your name in his notepad, adding his own name right under yours. He clears his throat and looks back up at you, making sure his knees don't give out at the way you seem so bashful around him.

"I beg your pardon? Do I hear that a young and beautiful person has not been swept off their feet successfully?"

Just before you can answer, a young man with white hair and a peculiar asymmetrical haircut runs to Dazai's side. He peers at his notes, and nervously chimes in.

"Er, Dazai? Mister Kunikida wanted me to come find you, but I didn't think you'd actually be working- Why are there so many hearts drawn-"

Dazai immediately moves his hand over the young man's face and comically shoves it away from his notepad, still smiling at at you. He speaks through gritted teeth and a nervous chuckle.

"Not now, Atsushiiiii, I'm working~"

This causes Atsushi to grumble, his face deflating into an annoyed sigh as his gloved hand scratches the top of his head.

"But Dazai, this is kind of important, and I really don't want to have to be the one to tell Kunikida that you're slacking off again..."

Dazai instantly snaps his head to look at Atsushi, pointing at you with dramatic flair, his voice reaching a mocking pitch.

"Oh, but I'm not, young Atsushi! I've come out here on pure basic instinct... I'm conducting a very serious investigation, and so unfortunately Kunikida and the rest of the folks at the agency will just have to wait for my genius intellect to come up with a tantalizing resolve. Get Ranpo to help. 'Kay byeee!~"

Dazai grabs you by the arm and though the gesture is hasty, he's surprisingly very gentle as he drags you away from the white haired young man. You're now standing outside a cafe and Dazai takes out what looks like a business card, presenting it to you. He scans your slightly confused face, and thinks about what other precious faces you'd make for him if he stuck around you long enough like the hound dog he is. He wonders if you'd let him touch your arm again, maybe even your hand... maybe even your-

"Are you okay, Dazai?" You ask in slight concern. Oops! He's been nonverbal for too long. He shakes his head rapidly and lets out a soft chuckle.

"Never been better! Here, take this, it's my personal contact. I think I've got all the notes I need to finish my work, but I seem to be missing one last thing-"

He proceeds to lean in a little, his now softened hazelnut eyes looking into yours intently, and his voice becoming drastically more serious. There's a glint of sincerity, and an emotion you can't quite place, but it makes your blood pressure spike and your cheeks flush at the casual intimacy of it all.

"... A time and date so I can see you again, perhaps?"

You feel yourself feeling giddy, and slightly stammer as your response flows out of you coyly.

"Ooh well, maybe tomorrow in the evening? I'll be off of work then. We can um, get coffee here?" You nod your chin up at the cafe sign, and flash him a soft smile. A smile that will keep him happily satiated until tomorrow.

"Ah, then it's a date! An official one..." He winks at you, and pats the top of your head, the feeling is light and angelic. By the time you recover, he's gone. You get a last glimpse of the way the tail of his coat swishes as he sharply turns the corner of the street, and you stand there smiling like a giddy schoolgirl. What you don't know is he does the very same thing, thinking about how playing with the fire of his own destiny is worth ruining if he could cement himself into your heart. In his adoring eyes, you could do no wrong. That's his job.

[esper-eclipse]

still getting himself into trouble (-∧-；)

[c0gito]

a story in 4 parts 🫶

[ohitslen]

Twitter doodles!

(close ups for the first one below and a small extra as well :D)

[ooliecat]

sasha and the big daddy from bioshock are voiced by the same guy did you know

it was just gonna be the sasha voice actor thing but two + one more under the read me mitosis'd

small talk but the milla tenembaum one gave me unnecessary brainache. redrew it a couple times but didn't color it in the end anyway.

i was gonna replace 'little ones' with "queridinho" or queridinha. since it's the female version, i would hope to think.

but my english google can't tell me if queridinhas is even a word, and i would've added it anyway but didn't know if it even would be structurally correct so i gave it up and just copy pasted bioshock dialogue thanks for reading.

no i havent finished bioshock

[demigods-posts]

that scene when percy douses ares with the tide gives me shivers because we hardly see percy use his powers. actually. we hardly see him embracing his godly side the majority of the show. and it really emphasizes how unfamiliar, scared, and overwhelmed he is by it all. because he's just a kid. but then we see ares get in the way of him reuniting with someone he loves. and we see what this boy is capable of.

[vinestaff]

IM ASTONISHED!!! 2k notes on my sebastian drawing LOL