#got distracted by this idea in the middle of working on actual fanart of them lmao

[corvids-corner]

these weird blue bugs have infested my brain help (meme ref below)

[bimbosupreme]

mephistopheles love post

the equivalent of a mental breakdown tangent is all going under a read more

yes believe it or not that freaky ass literally not even human clown in fgo gets love, and love from who? me and like 3 other people

first off

ok and with that out of the way,

i’m not even familiar with their lore. Reason why i stopped caring about the lore behind faust and mephistopheles is that an interlude happens that shows that mephistopheles is just some homunculi made by some mage nobody named faust. and even then the interlude doesn’t talk about the lore behind the novel, its just you helping mephy kill faust

that being said though i would hope the developers expand on their origins more and potentially even release a “true” mephistopheles (a girl can dream)

So, they’re not even the real deal demon known as Mephistopheles in the first place, and i can hear u going “well that’s lame” and like, no, we just need to redirect our feelings from appreciating a demon to appreciating a homunculi who has a weird characterization in the fate universe

Design tangent:

Fgo was actually my first gacha, and so when I came across this servant I kinda instantly fell in love with their design, I love the colors used in their final ascension and overall appearance. The hat that has horns but they're not quite horns, theyre these weird colorful pointy twisty things, the large garish butterfly ornament on their chest (which isnt ugly at all and somehow works so well with their everything on them) is cool, the tights are so cool to look at, i mean look -- a checkered pattern with golden lining on the shorts portion, the tits out look like yes we get it youre insane, the gloves??? purple and also cool, plus theyve got this gradient thing going on? and the fingers have this line going through them, thats so cool. actually the only other servant that comes close to this in terms of “out there” colorful designs is probably final ascension kama and qsh ( i love them both). Also, mephy has this scissor weapon?? thats so cool lol i dont see any other servant wielding giant scissors (for the love of god give mephy an animation update i need to see them use the scissors while doing flips) and they also have this bomb obsession going on? cant relate, but the bombs designs are so so cool i mean its a fucking centipede -- no idea if centipedes are a thing in the original faust but thats something Ill have to look up at some point. ALSO mephy is wearing heels oh my god anytime people wear heels is an automatic win. No clue whats going on with the hair but its kinda cute (dont question me on that) and it has curls and the hair colors are cool i mean its like a lavender thing with darker purple highlights? i love colorful things and i love people with wacky personalities so. Oh my god their tail how could i forget that its so cute and dumb i almost forgot it was there, like what is that even a whip? i dont.. but its got these little purple tips to them that are kinda cute/cool but more cool because tails are fucking up there alongside heels in terms of cool stuff on characters. and of course their fluffly cape -- again no idea what the designers were going for i mean look its a mess of a design i have no fucking idea what any of it means and i hope they explain it someday because that hair and the butterfly and the tail and the hat and the fluffy garb and a bomb obsession?? and this got the go ahead - yeah lets add that to the game like what

ALSO LETS TALK ABOUT THEIR EYES

appreciate these with me for a second

god.

oh and the blue lipstick and face paint god thats a cool design ugh

they can be normal too or at least as normal as possible i mean they even trimmed their eyebrow here lol but you can see the not so well hidden insanity/goofiness peaking through with the inside of the suit at the bottom being highlighter purple and a green shirt with gold accents underneath the black coat at the front <3, fuckin hate that hairstyle tho bro we gotta get that middle part hairstyle outta hereeeee--

TAKE A DETOUR AND LOOK AT THIS LINK THOUGH THIS IS THE MOST NORMAL AND BEST IVE SEEN THEM IN FANART. THE POTENTIAL IS THERE. WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS AND THEY LOOK GREAT ITS POSSIBLE. I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE FROM THAT DRAWING.

anyways this is me going off all about why i like their design! but we haven’t even touched the nitty gritty of it all. their personality! what personality you may ask? havent they always been some weirdo laughing a lot and saying dumb shit all the time? well yes and no

Characterization:

True to their dumb little clown design mephy also acts like one.

Some servants bond 1 lines are like “fuck off” and some actually talk to you, nah this bastard mephistopheles’ just laughing. and for the second bond line it seems to imply theyre fuckin with you more (showing up and dissapearing and saying ‘afterimage’) so thats nice that theyre actually making some effort to mess with you in a way? some servants take a long time to actually interact with you so this shows theyre not afraid of interacting with you and thats just at bond 2. and of course the third bond line implies they were probably trying to betray you, its stated in more than 1 place that mephistopheles (actually isnt this a caster class thing?) will betray you or attempt to do so. So the third bond line seems to imply that their attempts have been stopped by you and that’s what they say after some failed attempts. So after stopping this freak from doing some shit their next bond line is actually doing a confession! a jester being honest who couldve seen that one coming but theyre 100% not lying, they really arent a demon but a homunculi made by faust

speaking of faust we’re going to backtrack a little into their interlude that i brought up at the start of this post, its one of those dream interludes and it starts with mephy asking you to help him plant bombs for their eventual reuinion/showdown with faust -- in the meantime faust keeps sending golems in an attempt to kill both you and mephy

When you track faust down, it’s shown that faust was your typical mage, inhumane and uncaring. It’s also pointed out that this faust killed innocents, but this typical mage behavior is boring to mephy, and they say that boring typical behavior is why they wanted to kill them

 so i really cant blame mephistopheles for being the way they are, being raised by this type of guy, even if mephy was always messed up and wacky from the beginning its no reason for faust to attempt to kill him.

Mephistopheles also shows up in salem, cu alter’s interlude, and of course the knk crossover event, and some other things im most likely forgetting but those 3 are ones that i find notable

anytime they show up theyre actually helpful, in salem mephy points out that the nature of the being responsible for the salem epic of remnant is something alien rather than a typical foreign god, mephy also tells you that time is also being sped up and in their weird way they try to cheer you up by spouting some nonsense at the beginning (guda needed some kind of distraction from the grim events that had just transpired at that point in the story), i cant quite remember what mephy did in the knk event but they were a part of your group and were helpful the whole time, actually @/zeravmeta does an amazing analysis of their role in the knk event as well as some extra character analysis here

mephistopheles is kinda cryptic in a weird way though,

like overall i mean theyre a jester homunculi in appearance so yeah its to be expected but come on i love morally gray characters, despite their supposed betrayal hints scattered around here and there

they have this one line that always gets to me

and this line is said with a completely serious face too

the rare serious mephistopheles face! its kinda grim to see that line, no laughs, no nothing, their voice is kinda serious and monotone too. of course this could be just to get you to lower your guard but its still kinda out there that they have this rarely used portrait and that line, so i like to take it as being said to you when youre by yourself and with sincerity

and at least sei (with her wacky outfit and all lol) seems to get along with mephy and thinks theyre nice woohoo

so at the end of the day you have this guy that laughs a lot and gives mixed signals

and they fuck with you

and will most likely try to kill you more than once but hey thats just another tuesday at chaldea

Before I finish last thing I want to point out is this snippet from the fgo source material book which provides more information on servants, and this specific translated bit under mephistopheles

at the core of it all this homunculi....can be your friend! you just need to not go into despair i guess

of course this entire post is an overanalysis into an underwritten character, quarantine + all online college classes have done this to me, i have a douman icon what did you expect

OH...BEFORE I REALLY SIGN OFF AND FINISH THE POST HEY CLOWN LOVERS CHECK OUT THESE FANARTS AND FANARTISTS...

THE FIRST ONE IS HASENDOW YES THE DOUMAN DESIGNER... <3

i cant believe they drew mephy

twice !

and for those of you on twitter check out @cuz_pb and @L0VEYAMA003

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E61 (May 7, 2019)

Hi, everyone! @eponymous-rose​ is out from a pain in the butt situation, so I’m stepping in to bring that average quality down a solid five or six points. Tonight’s preroll: guess who! No, literally, Guess Who:

Tonight’s guests: Travis Willingham & Marisha Ray.

Tonight’s announcements: earlier today, Ashley joined Taliesin for a Gail Force 5-themed action game episode of Mame Drop. VOD available now! On Saturday, May 18, Marisha will be DMing a live event for D&D Live’s Stream of Descent. Cool!

And now, Episode 61: Agreements

CR Stats! It’s been one week since Beau saw Dairon. Only one week, huh. Uk’otoa has threatened Fjord twice in the last week. It’s been 35 days since Fjord broke the second seal. Everyone marvels it’s been simultaneously that long & that little time, and Marisha & Travis both have a loooong drink. Brian has an electronic mug that keeps his drink warm. It has an app. It tells him when it’s at its desired temperature. Travis calls him Douche McClure, but holy smokes I want one. 

Brian tells a story about how he thought Travis was falling asleep one episode, but he was pondering the mysteries of the universe “a la Liam O’Brien.” Marisha empathizes with the trap of being told by the internet to READ YOUR SPELLS, only to try to do that & miss the last round of combat, then to be told PAY ATTENTION.

There’s no difference between Fjord & Travis’s reaction to his depowerment (sheer terror). Marisha talks about how he missed a solid twenty minutes of gameplay afterwards from being so distracted. Travis says he was “movie breathing” too, so hard it was audible on the mics. (Laura has to tell him to stop breathing so loud in movies a lot.) Brian, who’s been with Travis in haunted houses & knows when he’s genuinely scared, realized how terrified he was in the moment even through the laptop screen. 

Dani: “Uk’otoa is exactly the IRS.” Brian: “How about the IRIS?” Ugh.

Everyone points out Travis is cosplaying Steve Jobs tonight. It’s uncanny.

On Beau’s relationship with deities: she’s the only non-magic person in the party, and a lot of the other party members get their magic from very powerful beings telling them they’re special. Even Caleb was pulled to a school as a labeled prodigy. Now Beau is questioning why she’s “the average person in a group of extraordinary people.” Brian wonders if part of it might be her feeling like she gets her own strength without the need of powers granted by gods. Marisha’s exploring the powers Beau now has (that people saw in her earlier as a flaw, especially given her criminal past), possibly as something she might be remarkable for after all. She wonders if she should be talking to Ioun the way everyone else is talking to their gods.

Fjord fears his powers’ loss because of both his inability to hold his own with his friends and as his last tangible bond with Vandren. He desperately wants to reconnect with him (”You’re okay? Are you okay? I’m okay, if you’re...wondering...”). He also recognizes he’s a half-orc with a strength of 11 if he doesn’t have any powers. Brian: “Do you regret picking your class?” Travis: “I REGRET ALL OF IT!” Marisha: “I felt really bad, because as soon as the cameras went off I could see Travis was freaking out, and the first thing I said was, ‘This is why I never fuck with warlocks!’“ Travis: “I can do what you do! Stunning strike! Pap-pap! I got no nothin’!” He imagines his sword just flopping out at his feet in the middle of a tense ambush and having to wish everyone else well.

How does the Krynn dynasty recognition, the house, & the growing acclaim of the M9 affect the relationship Beau has with Dairon? She has no idea. It depends on how well Beau explains her perspective of it all being all knowledge. Marisha tells us that when Nott first exclaimed that blue cloth they found was Dairon’s, she secretly 100% thought it was as well, even when she verbally denied it.

Travis remembers none of this under the loud heartbeat in his ears at the time.

Travis, as a fan, loves the “Thunderlord’s” style of worship. Marisha likes the seamless relationship Caduceus has with the Wildmother. Brian has a hard pass on both “Travis’s thing” & the Traveler “obviously evil,” but also likes the Wildmother. Marisha wonders if Travis will lose his powers if they free & then kill Uk’otoa. Travis, almost crying: “I don’t know!!”

Holy smokes, guys, there are so many quick references and jokes in this one I can’t get them all. Seriously, this is so entertaining! Catch a VOD if you can.

Travis actually had no intention of talking to Wursh in the last episode. He only went there because Yasha came after him. He would have just wandered around if she hadn’t forced the issue. Marisha: “That’s a healthy way of coping.” Travis: “You’re saying that to Fjord, right? Travis is a very responsible person and a good friend.” He and Marisha are being SO SILLY TONIGHT, g’dang.

Reminder, GIF of the Week has been suspended; the replacement will be announced next week.

Beau’s generally forgotten about the precarious nature of their humanity in the Dynasty until Waccoh’s reminder. She’s generally headstrong, and it was a good hint she might need to rein it in a bit.

Fanart of the Week: @thealeksdemon with a gorgeous portrait of Fjord that is apparently nowhere else on the internet. 

They’re doing another Space Jam??????? Whattttt??????

Beau thought the super-fried talking goblin corpse was a bit weird. It was also a little odd he carried the goblin for several hours on his back.

Marisha & Travis both miss a question because they were posing artfully. These two are so goofy. 

Fjord keeps himself close to himself; he’s not comfortable with the recent leadership, as well as all the new powers. Beau is still thinking about Dairon’s instructions to avoid getting close to people.

Travis confirms Fjord shouts “Eldritch Blast” out loud every time. He’s dead certain the group will think less of him if he can’t pull his own weight. “They’d hold auditions! For the Mighty Eight!” He also mentions that he can’t take care of anyone without his powers. Marisha says they’d have offered to help him quest to get his powers back: you know, toss him in some salt water, let him get a little briny, leave him in there “not beyond the threshold of a revivify...” Travis: “Oh, wow, you’re trying to reset the hard drive!” Marisha: “Fuck, you guys, he’s BSODed.” She admits the plan might need a little R&D.

Is it worse when the check engine light turns on or off?

Beau is conflicted about participating in the military industrial complex. She’s aware it’s going to be used to kill families.

There’s an extended, hilarious aside where Beau tries to say the M9 have become the bad guys, but basically implies that Beau alone is just straight-up evil. It’s tear-jerkingly hilarious.

Fjord’s hesitant to tell everyone because he’s fallen in love a bit with his new self. He has no idea what his agreement (if there even was one) with Uk’otoa was/is. For Fjord, going back to being “normal” would be awful. “He still has work to do, too.”

Beau likes tweaking the noses of powerful people, she’s just trying to be more judicious about it.

Travis straight up quotes Jurassic Park over Liam guest-star-cuddling Henry. This episode is seriously amazing.

Travis says he “doesn’t know anything about an accent drop” as far as the breakdown last episode. Unclear if serious! He’s fascinated by the connection to Vandren as a past Chosen of Uk’otoa.

Yasha’s past reveal was an “oh shit” moment for Beau. When asked if this changes how Beau feels about Yasha, Marisha delicately says, “I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha,” but that she also doesn’t want to hurt people’s internal canons. Travis very directly tells her that she’s played it how’s she’s played it, and what people infer from that is on them. Marisha nods and decides she doesn’t want to add anything else.

Fjord doesn’t care that Beau’s wearing Avantika’s coat.

Being denied access to the library makes it 100% more enticing for Beau.

Fjord feels....goooood about having a new house/family as long as things stay the way they are (in re: his warlock abilities). Marisha recalls Fjord telling Beau to take care of her family because it was the only one she had...but now she has this new family that she likes as well. Only a few people know about her little brother, so it’s a weird family dynamic. Travis: “There’s the family you have and the family you choose.”

This is Fjord’s third family, since his first found family (Vandren) got ripped away.

We out! Is it Thursday yet?

[ciestessde]

Phantasma Magica Ch. 12

STORY SUMMARY

Clockwork and the Observants send Danny to Hogwarts on a special mission. But, cryptic as ever, that Old Stopwatch never actually told him what would happen on it!!! “All you need to do right now, Daniel, is stay focused on your mission. And remember, the-” “‘The Lions with the time-turner, lightning-bolt scar, and hair like fire are friends; watch out for the rat; and the black dog is not a threat.’ Yeah, you’ve only repeated that a few dozen times today.”

← Previous (First)

Dumbledore and the other adult wizards -- along with much of the staff, who, of course, had noticed the commotion -- drove the dementors back to their posts. Ron, Hermione, and Sirius were ordered to go to the Hospital Wing to recover. Then, with everyone else distracted by their own tasks, Danny followed Dumbledore and the Minister of Magic up to Dumbledore’s office.

Danny couldn’t remember what the Headmaster had said to convince him to come. But as long as the old wizard didn’t attack him again, Danny didn’t care. ‘Harry…’

The door closed behind them with a soft thud. The Minister was pacing. “Dumbledore, what do we do? What do we DO?! When the Prophet hears about this-” “Please, Minister. We must remain calm.” “Yes, yes. You’re right. But the Boy-!” For the first time since heading toward the school, the Minister looked at Danny. He was a frightening sight -- Danny didn’t need to look in a mirror to know that: slitted pupils, claws that were dripping with whatever replaced blood in a dementor, glowing, and holding a human soul… The Minister didn’t dare meet his eyes.

But Dumbledore did. Standing in the middle of the strange room he called an office, his voice was impossibly calm. “Mr. Phantasm.” Danny broke out of his daze, but his voice was… listless. ‘Harry…’ “... Yes?” “This might be far-fetched, but -- well. Seeing as I have no way of…” His gaze moved to Harry’s soul. “Storing? A human soul -- I thought it best… to ask if you have any ideas on the matter?”

Hope returned to Danny’s eyes -- “The bottles…!” -- and he took off like a bullet through the walls and floors.

He couldn’t waste time.

Making it to his Pipe-Room, he held Harry against his body so he could grab an empty test-tube-like bottle. ‘But how do I…?’ He had never had to put anything into one of these containers before -- and although souls were naturally malleable, if Harry slipped out of his grasp… Danny didn’t know what would happen to him! Would he die? Disappear? … Become a ghost?

He didn’t even know if he could get Harry back into his own body, let alone-! ‘Calm down! … It doesn’t matter. There’s no other choice!’ Praying, Danny maneuvered the bottle to below his other hand -- and pushed down. Gently… Carefully… 

At first, he thought it wouldn’t work, but slowly, Harry’s soul morphed, extended, and finally slipped into the container. Danny capped it -- And collapsed. Just for a moment… 

… ‘No… Not yet.’ Mind clear of emotions -- just for the moment -- he flew back up to the office.

Everything was a blur after that: Lots of terms, names, and legal jargon tossed around; planning for how to keep panic to a minimum; what should be done with Harry’s soul, with Danny, with Black, with “The media, Dumbledore…!”

Finally, the Minister was somewhere between satisfied -- and panicking over how behind on his schedule he was, and he left. Dumbledore sighed, sat down at his desk, and there were a few moments of blessed silence.

Danny was staring at the glowing bottle in his hand. “... I fear I must apologize.”

Danny looked up. The Headmaster had always looked old, but Danny’d never seen him… frail.

“I assumed you were dangerous because of your species. Given my experiences with such things, I really ought to--” “Don’t apologize.” Dumbledore smiled. “You really are a caring--” “-- I’m an outlier. What you did -- the way you treated me… You did the right thing. If I had been any other phantasm…” His voice failed him.

‘No. Not yet.’ He focused on a table in the corner. It had some weird, silvery machine on it.

Dumbledore frowned, but didn’t comment.

“The soul,” he said instead. “It will need to be protected. I believe it would be safest if it was left with me.” Danny looked back at the elder wizard. He tried -- desperately tried -- to come up with some form of protest. But… No. He was right. The man had done nothing but protect his students the entire time Danny had known him. Meanwhile, how many times had he failed his friends?

Once was enough.

Danny handed Harry’s soul over.

Dumbledore started asking many questions after that -- about him personally and phantasms in general. Danny just told him to “Ask Lupin” and phased out of the office. He was so tired. Just… Just TIRED.

But when he got back to his Pipe-Room -- and saw the still-open bag of substitute-souls…

Danny’s eyes glowed a menacing, poisonous green. “C l o c k w o r k . . .  ”

Snatching up the bag, Danny flew through the network of tunnels -- until he got to the Chamber of Secrets.

“CLOCKWORK!!!” His energy-infused voice echoed deafeningly, “I KNOW YOU’RE LISTENING! So ANSWER me!” He threw the bag at the wall.

Several of the bottles shattered, glowing-green liquid dripping down the wall like blood.

Tears were streaking down Danny’s face now, “Why?! WHY DID YOU SEND ME HERE!?!?” He punched a hole in one of the already-scarred-and-burned pillars. “You could’ve done this yourself! And NOTHING bad would’ve happened to ANYBODY! So WHY?! For ‘experience’?!!!” This time, the pillar shattered.

“. . .” Danny floated down to the ground -- and sat with his back resting against the pillar’s remains. “... Why would you send a damn predator… “-- a spirit-eater -- “… to save people…?”

“...”

“... Heh. Why did I think you’d answer me…? … You never do…”

He was… Just so tired. His eyes started drifting shut. But… ‘?’ ‘Why is there a nest--? Oh.’ Buckbeak. In all of the confusion, he’d almost forgotten the hippogriff.

It was a remarkably quick, uneventful trip.

He’d find out much of what happened later from Ron and Hermione. The rest of the student body -- of the entire magic society -- was under the impression that Harry Potter had been the victim of a “close-call” and would be taking a few months off with his newly-declared-innocent godfather to recover. While there was a manhunt going on for Peter Pettigrew, the true criminal.

Just about everyone else was happy: exams were over, there was another Hogsmeade Weekend coming up, and the dementors were being sent back to Azkaban where they belonged! And if Hermione and Ron were dispirited -- well, of course they were. Their friend had gotten hurt!

Buckbeak was assumed (in the official story, anyway) to have flown off on his own. (Lupin and Hagrid worked together to find a way to set the creature free in his natural habitat.) Malfoy was furious that the phantasm had “probably eaten” the hippogriff -- that he and his father had been “outwitted by a creature!”

If there was anything that was bringing the other students down, it was that Lupin was resigning as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Snape, the Potions teacher, evidently disliked Lupin and had revealed his status as a werewolf. Apparently, students’ parents were not comfortable with that.

But if they were unnerved by a werewolf teacher, they were at least equally unhappy about the presence of a phantasm inside the school. Danny couldn’t stay there. But Dumbledore didn’t want him far away, as Danny was the only one they knew of who could even potentially return Harry’s soul to his body. Sirius, saying he owed him, agreed to take Danny in. And as Harry’s newly closest relative, Sirius was given Harry’s belongings.

But before he could leave the school, Danny needed, desperately needed, to complete at least one part of his mission successfully. And now that the school-year was over, he could do it.

Without hurting his friend!

McGonagall briefly greeted the Ministry official outside the school entrance. Then simply handed them an envelope, and they went their separate ways. Invisible, Danny flew down to them. Thankfully, they had put the envelope in their pocket, and weren’t still holding it -- where they would’ve felt the loss of weight. Reaching intangibly inside their robe, Danny snatched one of the items.

That he was sent here to steal. By order of the Observants. A mission “FAR more important than some silly horcruxes!”

One time-turner down. An entire cabinet-full to go.

Ghost Zone - Observants’ Council - One week before Danny’s mission began

The room was large, and every seat was filled by a member of the Council. Most were Observants. Their appearance -- just a giant, green eyeball for a head -- continued to weird Danny out.

Odin, the Guarder of Knowledge -- and Clockwork’s brother -- shuffled the papers on his podium. “I believe that covers just about everything. Only one item remains. Clockwork?”

Standing, Clockwork spoke, “Yes, Brother?” “We have a mission for you and your…” He gave a hesitant glance at Danny, “apprentice.”

Looking up, Danny thought Clockwork might be glaring slightly -- but it quickly disappeared. He bowed, “Of course. It is my duty and pleasure to serve the Council.”

“You are aware of the anomalies that have occurred because of the Magic Society you have an… agreement with?” There was outbreak of nervous and angry murmurs from the Observants. Clockwork remained stoic, “Yes, I am.”

Odin was openly glaring now. “They have broken their contract. You are to inform them of as much and to retrieve the time manipulating devices you supplied them with.”

Clockwork nodded. Danny could’ve sworn he was smirking. “Of course. We’ll get right on that.”

~~~~~

If you liked this story, please REBLOG!

That does it for Arc 1. Tell me what you think!

Arc 2 should be coming out some time in the Spring or Summer of 2020, but fanart might make me write faster. ;) If you just can’t wait that long for more, you can always send me a request for my One-Shot Wednesdays! I won’t give you big spoilers, but you can get some extra scenes that way, lol. (Look here for info on how requests work and check out my collection of one-shots here)

Finally, I have a few announcements:

First, I just started selling original content! I have three Original OSWs for sale (you can still read them for free, but you can now get an ebook copy for yourself) as well as a Poem Book.

Second, the poll to vote for the next OSWs is up! You can vote here until August 7th, or (if you find this fic too late to do so) you can find the current poll on my Tumblr, Twitter, or Website.

Finally, I’ll be on vacation for the next couple of weeks. Getting all these chapters out AND working on setting up everything for my original content has… REALLY worn me out. I’m glad you all have enjoyed this fic so far, and I hope I can continue making stuff you like for a long time! ^^

Happy Reading! <3

Other places you can find this fic: Fanfiction.net/~ciestess ArchiveOfOurOwn.org/users/Ciestess/profile Deviantart.com/Ciestess

← Previous (First)

[burntuakrisp]

Kissing an Evil Emperor

It really wasn’t supposed to be like this. The day was going at such a slow pace. I have woken up, got dressed, and went down to the “evil” kitchen to get some breakfast. My significant other, the evil emperor Zurg, was once again going on a rant over how his most recent evil scheme to destroy Star Command was thwarted by his arch-enemy: Buzz Lightyear. Poor minions, Zurg was always too rough on the little guys. When he gets like this, I usually just wait till he’s at a cooling off point and then give him a back massage while giving him encouraging words. He’s stubborn at first, but when I start to moan out the phrases “My Emperor” or “My Champion” or “My King” he turns right back to his megalomaniac ways. Honestly, he’s so adorable when he gets like that. Today, however, was different, after he had finished taking his rage out on his minions, he instead actually turned to me. At first, I was scared he was going to continue his rant for me, it wouldn’t be the first time. But instead, he grabbed my hand and pulled me from my seat. “Empress Zurg” he demanded “we have matters to discuss. Come with me.” Knowing it to be better to obey my loves wishes, I got up from my seat and allowed him to pull me away from the area. I didn’t really have much say in Zurg’s plans for galaxy conquest, mostly since he was the one who came up with schemes. But if he ever needed someone to aid him in his goals, his Empress was always there for him. After going down a long path of winding hallways, we finally came to a stop. ...in front of a supply closet. “Zurg” I started “why did you bring me here?” I walked inside to look around, and he followed me in I was too distracted to find what he was looking for, that I didn’t even realize he had closed the door with a lock. With the light from the outside now blocked, the only source of light was emerging from the Emperor’s emblem. “Zurg...what are you- I then saw he was wearing a victorious smirk. The only time he made that face, was when one of his plans worked. “Oh dear, it seems I, the evil emperor Zurg, had accidentally imprisoned myself and my beautiful bride in this chamber of darkness.” I could tell he was pulling off his most dramatic voice he could, proving that he wanted this to happen. While I didn’t like the idea of being locked in a supply closet, if it meant that the Emperor and Empress of Planet Z got to spend some “personal” time together, then it was time for me to play along. I raised one of my palms to my forehead in an overdramatic way. “Oh, woe are we to be trapped in this prison of solitude. If only the handsome emperor would inform his lovely bride for the reason of this isolation.” Zurg takes both of his claws and pressed them against the wall, with my head in the middle. “After weeks of trying to topple star command with no success and dealing with unconfident goons, the evil emperor Zurg is in need of relief.” I give a seductive glance. “Oh, you are very sneaky my Emperor. He pulls his helmet off, exposing his face (which I won’t describe). There is a less than 3 inches distance between our lips. “Please my dear, call me Zurgy. For the moment, don’t view me as a ruler, see me as your husband.” I place my hands on the sides of his face. Never once breaking eye contact with his loving eyes. “Very well, Zurgy, give in to your passion.” “OH Kiss me my one and only!” I obliged without hesitation. Our mouths meet in a spectacle of desperation and passion. I moaned in content as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss and tasted each other’s mouths. He tasted like mint with a hint of grape. It was absolutely intoxicating. The longer I tasted him, the desire for more grew. So we just stood in the dark closet, sucking on each other’s lips like they were desperate for their oxygen. One of his hands pinning me to his chest, the other keeping our balance. While I held onto the side of his face and a tight grip on his shoulder. I can’t remember the last time we kissed like this. All previous time sessions lasted about less than 10 minutes, but it seemed like Zurg didn’t want this to end anytime soon. He licked my lower lip in a lustful moan, begging for entrance. I agreed and allowed entrance. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and fought for dominance with my own. It was a battle so fierce a galactic war couldn’t rival it. It wasn’t until we both needed air did we pull our faces apart, leaving a string of salvia between our mouths. But Zurg was far from done. His next area of conquest was my neck. He peppered it with hot and wet kisses, causing me to let out heavy moans. I grabbed onto his shoulders with all my might as he kept massaging my back and waist. I tried to call out his name, but he quickly claimed my lips once more as he continued the much-desired kiss. The whole universe seemed to disappear between us. Star Command, the galactic alliance, planet Z. They all seemed to disappear into thin air. All that mattered here and now was passion. The passion of a lonely emperor and his willing bride. The passion that could outshine any star. The passion that would never stop anytime soon. I felt electricity bolt through my body as a felt his claw begin to pull off my top. BANG BANG BANG We both shot up and pulled apart at the loud of the unexpected sound of the closet door being knocked on. Interrupting our session of love. “My Emperor, are you in there?” It was one of the grubs, probably going to give a status report. I felt kind of sorry for him. Because I could tell that Zurg was infuriated over this rude interjection. “WHAT IS IT!!?” Zurg shouted in rage. While still holding onto me. The grub outside could tell that Zurg was in a very bitter mood. But he continued. “W-well your evilness, we have a report from one of you spies about Star Command’s newest plans.” Zurg gave a huge sigh of disappointment, and so did I. We didn’t want to stop, but we had to. But before putting his helmet back on, he pulled into one more fierce kiss and whispered to me. “We shall continue this later my Queen. Be patient for your Emperor until then.” With one more quick peck, he pulled his helmet on and stormed out of the closet in rage. I, however, processed what he meant to say. My heart seemed to move at lightning speed. Gosh did I love that dork.

__________________

Warning, this contains a closet making out with Zurg from Toy Story. There is no sexual content, but there is a moment when it almost happens. Also, this is my first time writing kissing scenes so it will be a bit rusty. Also, this is totally self-indulgent, and I would love you forever if someone made fanart of this. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. OKAY SO I WANT TO KISS EMPEROR ZURG, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT??????!!!!

[raspberryparker]

Hi!! So can I just say how much in love I am with your blog? My theme was very old so I updated it thanks to your help! That really means a lot to me and your fic recs are always so spot on for me! I also write a Tom Holland x Reader fanfic named "Starstruck on the Red Carpet" and it honestly would be like a dream come true to hear your opinions&thoughts on it. Thank you so much!!

Hello my love! First of all, thank you so much for your lovely and kind words! I’m so glad you find my recs helpful and it’s great that I was able to help you with your theme (which is gorgeous, by the way. Nice job).

I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this ask but I wanted to read the entire fic and the sequel before I did so you got my full thoughts on it, so here we go! (It’s incredibly long and for that I’m sorry.)

In terms of storytelling and plot, I loved it! I think you did great with the conflict, the main plot and the sub plot/sub conflict(s), and the progression of the story as a whole. I really enjoyed the whole Cinderella thing and the way you spun it. I don’t think I’ve read a Cinderella story like that before so you’re definitely original, but I also enjoyed how that wasn’t the main point of the story and how it grew from there. Also, you’re really good at staying in character for the actors that you were writing for. It’s always important to be able to picture them saying what you’ve written if you’re writing someone who actually exists, and during the after-party scenes, I definitely could.I also really loved your OC’s. Blake made a really good point of conflict that enhanced the story in a great way, and Elijah just made me really happy, as did Nathalie. All good stories need an equally good cast of supporting characters and you executed it really well, so good job!That last part of the final chapter of the sequel was both funny and loving, and it’s hands down my favourite chapter. I always love when things come together, and the whole dating thing made me laugh out loud.The only criticism I have is that of structure, which every writer has struggled with at some point or continues to struggle with. I know I sure as Hell have. I’ve been writing fanfic since I was 12 and I’m 18 now. I’ve written a lot and I’ve read a lot and now that I’m an English major in university, I know what works and what doesn’t to keep people reading.Firstly, it would be so much easier on the reader and keep them engaged in the story regardless of what the story even is if you adjusted the way you structure paragraphs first and foremost. I noticed this especially in the first few chapters of your fic but less and less as I read on (Meaning you’ve improved on your own! Which is amazing!) but it was still quite choppy and hard to grasp what was happening, especially with dialogue. I don’t want to say there are “rules” for paragraph structure for fics, because fanfic is technically fanart and art is subjective, but there are guidelines to follow when you’re writing for school, for work, or professionally. These are in place because it makes your work flow better and makes it easier to read and take in. Some of these include making a new paragraph every time someone new speaks, every time the “camera angle” changes, when you’re starting a new idea, etc. It’s incredibly daunting to see a huge block of text instead of the same text broken down into smaller paragraphs. Seeing one big page of words makes people not want to read it. It’s harsh, like judging books by their covers rather than content, but it’s the truth and everyone is guilty of this whether they know it or not.Something you tend to do a lot is have multiple people (up to three or four at some points) talking during the same paragraph. When this happens, it’s easy for the reader to lose track of who is talking and what’s happening and often leads to them being confused and having to reread the paragraph just to know what’s going on. Fixing this would take your already wonderful plot and give it an extra something to appeal to readers even more.Here are some helpful posts for you if you want to read more in depth on paragraph structure !! 

1  2  3  4My other point is about how you broke up the chapters. I am a writer myself and I know how hard it is to write lots at a time (especially considering I’m a uni student too so I have, like, no time) but I try to make my chapters anywhere between 4k and 7k words. However, a lot of people don’t do this and make their chapters way shorter. But ultimately it all comes down to scene breakdown and length, which I will explain. Especially in the first 5 or 6 parts of your fic, I felt like that could have been condensed into about 3. This is because you spread the same scene out over multiple chapters. This is fine; again fanworks are artistic works and you can write however you want, but another thing I do is try to keep the consumer of my fanworks in mind as I create them. It’s a little bit jarring to jump from chapter to chapter (or wait a week between chapters, if someone is keeping up with the fic as it’s updated) even though it’s still the same setting, the same characters, and essentially the same thing happening. My chapters are longer because they’re usually one or two scenes depending on the length of the scene, but they’re entire scenes regardless. And I’m not saying you should cut stuff out, that’s not what I mean by “condense”. I mean you could have copy and pasted a chapter into the chapter before it and just made it longer. Sometimes, a higher word count is fine if the story flows.For example, and this is just off the top of my head, let’s say a character is going to hang out with a friend. The scene begins with them meeting up, and ends with them parting ways. even if you don’t want to write the ENTIRE scene or think some of it is pointless filler that doesn’t contribute to the plot and you want to cut some parts out, you can put time cuts within the chapter as long as that one scene remains within that one chapter. Again, these aren’t rules. But as both a fanfic reader and writer, it’s easy to notice these things. You actually did this very well once, when you made a time cut where you didn’t write the interviews themselves in chapter five, I believe. You were right in your endnote on that chapter; it would have made it far too long. That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. But I still thought you could have put that time cut in the middle of a chapter rather than between chapters. And when I say time cut, I don’t mean something in bold like ****Time Skip**** placed between paragraphs, because that’s just jolting. It takes the reader out of their immersed state. To make an adequate time cut, just make the space between paragraphs larger, or put a horizontal line that you can copy and paste from google or something (like I did) to separate the pieces without making it look messy.A helpful tip I read a while back while writing my first fic on tumblr was to use the “A and B therefore C” method, or the Incentive, Action and Result method. I forget where I read this tip and I’ve been trying to find it for you but I haven’t been able to, I’m sorry. Here’s an example using a scene from the first chapter of my fic:A or Incentive: Peter is failing EnglishandB or Action: Ned doesn’t want him to fail English; Ned wants him to do well so he doesn’t get kicked out of schoolthereforeC or Result: Ned gets the reader to tutor Peter, which kicks off the plotThat’s the scene! Altogether, the scene written out was about 3,000 words but I made it into half of a chapter because I had more to add to it (if you’ve read my fic you’ll know what I mean, but you don’t have to).Here’s the other half of the chapter broken down like this:A: Peter is struggling with English and it’s distracting him during his hero workandB: He has a nasty run-in with Hammerhead that leaves him injured beyond beliefthereforeC: The reader witnesses him coming back to their dorm building bloody and bruised, and she becomes suspicious I would say the only time that people can get away with ending a chapter in the middle of a scene is when there is a huge cliffhanger they want to incorporate and leave their readers hanging in suspense for a week before the next chapter release. Other than that, it’s better if one scene is confined to one chapter. And my last point is tenses! Oh boy tenses, those horrible, awful tenses. They suck but they’re so so so important. I often found that you randomly switch between present tense and past tense in the middle of your chapter when there isn’t any actual time difference in the scene. Going from “says” to “said” is a little bit confusing, but everyone does it. EVERYONE. Hell, I still do. The important thing is catching yourself when you do. I know I have a few times where it’s slipped through the cracks and I’ve published a chapter where there are a few slip-ups, but again, everyone does it. That’s why I’m not making a huge deal out of it.These are a few reasons why having someone to beta read or edit your fic before you publish it is super important! I’m lucky I have my close friends to do it for me, but a lot of fic writers hide the fact that they write fics from their friends because, let’s be honest, it can be kind of embarrassing. If you ever need someone to beta read or edit for you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me or any other fic writer that you know! I’m more than willing to help you improve your writing (as you can probably tell by this long winded response to your ask) and finally put all this studying for my English degree to good use. I plan to become an English teacher, so the more experience I get the better! I’m always here for you!I really hope you don’t think I’m being rude or pretentious because that is not at all what was meant by this review of your fic. I think you’re incredibly talented and creative, and the idea of your story is a great one that I enjoyed following as I read it. Basically, my main point of this is to say that even if you have an amazing story, if the structure isn’t appealing, chances are people won’t read it. Again, it’s a sad truth but we’re all guilty of it. All in all, it was a wonderful story that was well written and well planned, and I really enjoyed it! I hope you continue writing because you have so much potential, and maybe even take some of my advice. I’m so happy you’re open to opinions, thoughts and constructive criticism on your writing. But remember that you don’t have to do what I say. You art is is just that: YOUR art. And my advice is just advice. At the end of the day, just keep doing you, love.- Gabi  ps. YOUR ART IS LOVELY!! I really love that you added illustrations for the last two parts of the sequel, really helps envision what is happening better. I might start drawing for my fics too ;)

[pippa-frost]

Fic: Ice cold (part I)

Hello! So this is my first SanderSides fic! It’s actually been on my mind for months now after an especific post! Now, this fic is based on the idea that whenever Thomas gets a really big scare Anxiety freezes in fear (you know, from the phrase frozen in fear, i think), BUT THIS IDEA IS NOT MINE!!! It belongs to @ec-sanderssides (i had the link to the post and the fic they worte about it -which was freaking amazing!-but i can’t get it open anymore! As soon as i can i will put it here!)  

Also, there’s this other amazing post that had lots of fics written for it (ANGST EVERYWHERE) that this also based on! The post is here! Go read it in case you haven’t cause the fics are awesome!

So i’m tagging a lot of people cause you’re all soooo nice and amazing and i love it when people tag me in fics (i LOVE fics, so seriously, if you’ve got a fic PLEASE TAG ME) and fanart so it’s only fair i do the same! (i hope you don’t mind! Please let me know if you do!) 

@what-even-is-thiss @deafinatelyfangirling @fugitive-angel @corystssides @tiny-mudkip @parsnipit @romananalogicality @analogicalhell @starlight-sanders @dan-yuna @wingedchickadee @ana-logical @diplomatic-arsonist @killerfangirl3 @princeyandanxiety @princey-and-hottopic @pfftwhatnoimhuman @agentflash18 @ec-sanderssides @pattonscardigan @romananalogicality @frustratedwaffle @inalandofmythandtimeofmagic @thagrinbery @prplzorua @ohmehgawdnotagain @analogically-prinxiety

(I’ll keep tagging more people as soon as i can!)

Ahhh i really want to tag more people but i gotta go now! As soon as i can i will tag more people, cause so many of you have been so nice to me and have taken the time to tag me in your amazing work! 

Part I (you’re here) , Part II

As it always did, it caught him by surprise.

Unexpected.

Unprepared.

And, as always, it was far worse than how he -accurately- remembered it being.

Right now, he’s staring ahead, pretty sure it hadn’t hurt so much the times before, although he knows better than anyone that pain, no matter how awful and traumatizing, always seems to escape memory’s grasp.

Everything is blurry and kind of foggy too. It takes him a while to realize that the reason there’s something odd about his current position is not only due to his vision abilities, or lack thereof, but because the wall his mind had told him he was leaning against is actually the floor, and by leaning he meant lying flat on it.

Oh, so that was the “thump” he had heard at some point. He doesn’t know when exactly, he can’t associate the noise to a particular moment, the passage of time not currently being one of his brain’s priorities.

There’re more noises now, hard, strong, quick, they vibrate all around him. He somehow feels like the source of all that noise occurred a while before his head was actually able to process the sound, and his suspicions are proved correct when he sees something appear before his eyes, no sounds involved.

Whatever it’s blocking his view of the carpet’s horizon is black and hazy around the edges, blurry as all the other things around him.

Suddenly, the black shape shifts, now—rounder? There’s some white too.

Then, out of nowhere, the world turns and the pain he’s somehow been able to ignore for a while, makes itself known with a vengeance and he screams, or at least that’s how it feels like, even though he knows somewhere deep in his mind that no sounds have come out of his mouth.

His vision is pulsing and black dots, hundreds of them, cover his eyes and he feels like throwing up, like someone has just grabbed him and spun him until he can no longer tell up from down.

His body is on fire and freezing at the same time, every single nerve in his body screaming as if being stabbed. Everything hurts. His legs, his arms, his middle, his hands, his head, his neck, his eyes.

He just wants it to stop, stop, stop, it hurts, it hurts!

The carpet is no longer there, he knows that much, but there’s still something lingering near the side of his face and more things covering his view, with different forms and colors, but everything’s too blurred and smudged for him to recognize any of it.

Sound reaches his ears once more but it seems further away, he’s barely able to hear it. It sounds low and gibberish.

It’s confusing.

Everything’s too confusing and he’s confused and he doesn’t like it. He hates not knowing what’s going on (only, maybe a part of him still does?), he hates not knowing, period.

And, surprise, surprise, it makes him panic.

And he truly doesn’t know what’s worse. Either the panic, heavy and cold inside his chest, squeezing and crushing and suffocating; or the pain, scalding and sharp and excruciating.

He knows for a fact he’s felt this and thought of this all the times prior, but it doesn’t stop him from doing so again now.

So, again, he wonders. He wonders how is it possible for someone to feel cold and hot at the same time. To feel like the blood inside you has frozen enough to feel like lava is traveling through them instead; for everything inside you to be burning like fire yet making you feel void and cold.

Logan would have a stroke if he ever heard about it. Sadly, he’s currently too busy suffering through the pain to take any kind of comfort in said mental image.

He feels like crying. He thinks he must be. He’s pretty sure not even Princey would be able to stand such torture without a few tears being shared. Actually, he would probably make a show of it just for the sake of dramatics. Still, not really the point here.

Besides, he doesn’t want to contemplate the possibility of any of the others ever going through something like this. Never. The thought alone makes the panic increase tenfold.

Luckily, maybe, if you could call it that, the agony keeps the panic at bay. He knows the pain won’t be receding, so he rather not panic even more on top of that.

Not that he can actually think about all these things clearly. Thoughts come and go, fleeting moments of cognitive work between waves and waves of mind blowing pain.

Still, even if it hurts to think just as much as breathing currently does, he’s thankful for them, even if it only makes the pain inside his skull worse, they provide comfort for some reason. They don’t stop the pain, but they certainly distract him from the pressure on his chest.

And really, that’s all he could ever ask for right now, cause is that same pressure the one that makes it hard to breathe, even more so than the physical agony, and that makes something caught on his throat to grow bigger and for his eyes to burn. It’s what makes the fear grow even louder than the freezing and the burning and he can’t- he can’t- he just-

He’s scared. He’s scared and he’s lost and he’s alone and he doesn’t know what’s going on or why he’s in pain and he’s afraid. So, so afraid.

And it hurts, it hurts to think, to breathe, to be.

He just wants it to stop.

What was he thinking right now? What was it that had somehow managed to take the panic away? What was it? Whatever it was he wants it back. He can take the pain. Just please make the tightness inside his chest and the burning in his eyes go. Just make the fear stop.

What was it? Why can’t he remember? Why can’t he remember?! What was it what was it what was-

There’s white.

Why is there white. He had forgotten. There’re black dots everywhere but there’s also white. And red. Why is there red? Red is scary. But this… this isn’t… scary?

The confusion makes the pit in his chest stop mattering for a second and that’s enough time for him to grasp at the distraction with all his might. And it’s by pure determination that all his senses zero in on the bright white and red before him and the black dots make space for his eyes to see and it’s like breaking out of water to breathe.

He realizes there’re still noises floating around, even though they don’t make sense. And just as he’s about to try and look for more, to make sense of the white and the red, pain shoots through his body like lightning again.

It’s like a slap to the face. It burns, but it wakes him, if only for a second.

And as things start getting darker around the edges, the black dots becoming one solid body around his vision field, for a second, he’s able to feel. He’s rigid, and tightly bound against something and for a moment he has a body again, not just a general mass of hurting.

And he can hear. And the noises are no longer random muffled sounds but voices. Those are voices.

And as the moment is cut short and the darkness takes more and more of the white and red, and those two colors dull enough to be considered shades of grey, he finally gets it.

Things keep tilting and shifting and moving, and if it wasn’t for the pain he would actually be able to be nauseous because of it, and he still doesn’t know what is happening, but he remembers now.

Those aren’t just voices. Those are the others. His others.

“…xiet…y….”

He doesn’t know who says it, but it doesn’t matter, because someone did (he’s not alone) and that someone was calling for him (they are here).

There’s only black now and whatever is said after that no longer reaches him, but it’s okay, cause it was enough for his brain to be kicked into gear and for him to get a few milliseconds of clarity.

It’s his name. He knows it. He’s not alone.

He’s safe.

And he remembers.

‘Ah… that’s right…’ he thinks, just before fading completely ‘…they know now…’

And then everything’s gone.

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Warm Me Up Ch. 33

Please, please, please PLEASE make moodboards and fanart for this T.T This is twice the usual length.

Click Here for Ch. 1

Click Here for Ch. 32

index

Almost as soon as Nico and Will left the terminal, the screech of a small child made every passerby freeze in confusion. Kayla, in a denim jumper and a yellow shirt with flowers, jumped onto Will without mercy and Nico had to help him keep his balance.

She hugged him tightly, burrowing her face in his stomach. Despite his attempts to pull her away so he could carry her properly, she wouldn’t budge. “Kayla?” He leaned over trying to see her face, overcome with shock and worry when he realized she was crying. “Kayla! Why are you-no, princess don’t cry!” She sniffed and looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Yes!” she moaned. “I missed you.” She reached up and he pulled her up, resting her against his hip. “Hi, Nico,” she greeted shyly.

“Hey there, Kayla,” he smiled.

“Where’s Mom and Dad?” She gestured to the crowd and Will saw his parents struggling to get through other people finding their relatives. He smiled as they reached him and pulled him into a hug. “Hey, guys,” he greeted.

“How was the flight?” his father asked.

“It was good. Went by pretty quickly. Way better than driving.” He turned and saw Nico setting their carryon items together on the floor, fidgeting with them to stay distracted. “Nico,” he said tilting his head toward his parents. He looked up, panic clear in his eyes. “Come over here,” he said gently.

He swallowed and stood beside Will, giving his parents a nervous smile. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Solace. Nice to see you again.”

“We’re glad to have you visiting,” his mom answered with a smile.

“Thank you for suggesting the flight over the drive,” his father said, giving him an approving nod. Nico cleared his throat and nodded, remaining close to Will. “Come on, I left the car on. If I turn it off in this heat, we’d be melting.” Will hefted his sister, shifting her weight while Nico grabbed their things and followed.

When they got to the house, Will led Nico to the guest room where he would be sleeping. He set his duffel bag on the bed and turned to Will, biting his lip. “What?” Will questioned.

He stepped nearer and wrapped his arms around him. “I won’t get to sleep next to you for a week,” he murmured. “It sucks.”

Will chuckled and pushed his hair back. “You could always sneak over to my room in the middle of the night,” he suggested. Nico scoffed and leaned into him, tilting his head to look at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he said easily. He smiled and bumped his nose. “I love you.”

Will blushed and smiled widely, leaning in to kiss him. “I love you more.”

Nico laughed, tilting his head back. “Oh, God, no,” he groaned. “Tell me we’re not going to turn into one of those couples,” he teased. “What’s next? ‘You hang up first. No you hang up first. No you hang-’”

Will covered his mouth, laughing at the idea of such a mushy interation and smirked. “You’re such a dork,” he laughed. He intertwined his hand with Nico’s and raised an eyebrow. “You know, we have to tell Kayla that we’re dating.”

“I don’t think she’ll mind. She likes me,” he answered.

Will chuckled and fought back a smile. “Yeah, that’s… kind of the problem. I think she likes you too much….” Nico frowned and tilted his head in confusion. He bit his lip and grimaced. “I’m pretty sure she has a crush on you.”

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, his eyes going wide. “What makes you say that? She’s like, seven!”

Will laughed and nodded. “Yeah, exactly. It’s a little girl crush. Like… I don’t know, like when you crushed on a teacher or a babysitter.” Still, Nico seemed dubious and uncertain. “She kept asking me what things you like to eat and if you could sleep in her room. She also asked if you missed her.”

He winced and shook his head. “The only family member that likes me and now she might hate me because I’m dating you. Perfect.” Will laughed and took his hand, pulling him out of the room.

“Come on, let’s watch a movie. You need to relax, you’re so tense.” Nico blushed and looked at the floor, letting Will guide him out to the living room. They knelt near the DVD collection his parents had and debated over what movie to watch. Being away from his parents, Will could see Nico relaxing more and he hoped he was able to feel comfortable for the rest of the week.

Eventually, they decided to watch Troy, simply because Nico had never watched it and it was one of Will’s favorites despite historical inaccuracies. They sat on the couch beside each other, but before Nico could lean into him like they always did when they watched movies, Kayla came bounding from the hallway with a journal and seated herself on Nico’s lap.

“Can I show you my drawings I did?” she asked. Nico nodded and watched as she opened the journal to show her wobbly stick figures. “See this is you, me, and Will eating pizza.” She turned the page. “This is me and you when I got my bear.”

“What does that say?” Nico questioned, angling the journal. Will peered over his shoulder to look at the misspelled, blocky handwriting. “I… like Nico. He is nice and made me a… bear.” Will smirked and glanced at him as he stared at the journal in surprise, a small smile on his lips. Kayla was blushing, keeping her head down, waiting to turn the page.

She turned the page when Nico angled the journal back and continued to show more drawings that had little captions at the top. Will allowed the movie to start playing while Kayla remained seated, insisting that she wanted to watch too.

“Fine, but if I tell you to cover your eyes, do it. And don’t get scared when you see blood, it’s fake.” She nodded and smiled widely once she was given permission to stay.

A few minutes into the movie, Will felt Nico nuzzle into him, and his hand slipped into his own, fingers intertwining, fitting perfectly between each other’s spaces. As Will leaned his head to rest against Nico’s soft hair, he heard Kayla ask, “Why are you holding my brother’s hand?”

They pulled apart, but Nico’s hand gripped Will’s. Dark, panicked eyes flitted to him, and Will hesitated as he pulled Nico back toward him. “Well, he’s my boyfriend. He gets to hold my hand.” She froze and looked over at Nico who looked like a deer in headlights.

“Boyfriend? Like… where you kiss and stuff like the movies?” Will nodded. “But… you’re a boy.”

Nico shifted and fixed one of her pigtails. “Yeah, he is. But that’s okay. Because I like him a lot, and he likes me too.”

“Oh. So it’s okay?” They both nodded. “Oh.” She frowned and leaned against Nico’s shoulder. “Well… be nice to Nico,” she said, glaring at Will.

“What?” he questioned. “Are you hearing this?” he asked Nico, who was fighting back laughter. “She’s defending you, not me! Child, I am your brother!”

She shrugged and nuzzled into Nico, still glaring. Will bit his lip as he realized that his sister was angrier at him than at Nico for being in a relationship. He hoped she wouldn’t be angry too long though. She was only seven anyway.

After the movie, Will’s mom called him to the kitchen. “Hon, what food does Nico like? I need to figure out what to make for dinner.”

“He loves hamburgers. But we usually get those when we go for fast food,” he answered. “And fries. Nico loves fries.”

She smiled and raised an eyebrow as though Will had just given her a challenge. “Honey, your boyfriend hasn’t tried a nice, homemade, Texas burger. Is there anything he doesn’t eat?”

“Raw tomatoes and raw onions,” he answered automatically.

“Got it. Now, go watch movies, take him downtown, take him to SoCo, but get out of my kitchen while I work my magic.” Will smiled and saluted her as he turned away. Kayla and Nico were debating on the next movie, torn between Hercules and The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

“But we just saw one with Greek people and stuff,” Kayla said.

“But… Hades,” Nico countered. Will snickered and crossed his arms. “Will, what do you think?”

“I think there’s a lot of Austin worth seeing. Let’s check out SoCo.” Nico raised an eyebrow in confusion. “South Congress. It’s a strip of a bunch of little shops,” he explained. “Kayla likes checking out the bookstore there.”

Almost immediately, Kayla lit up and stood pulling Nico along so he’d follow. “We’re just walking there?” he asked.

“It’s a block away actually,” he answered. They stepped outside and Will took his sister’s hand as they walked to the corner of the street. Along the way, he took Nico’s hand, lacing his fingers with his. He noticed Nico tense and glanced at him as he looked around nervously. “What?”

He shrugged and bit his lip. “Isn’t Texas really conservative? Is it okay to do this?” he murmured.

Will smiled and looked at him fondly. “Austin’s a little different. More conservative side is more west Texas, I think. There are a few neighborhoods, but right now you’re at the heart of art expressivity and liberalism.” Nico chuckled and squeezed his hand. Will leaned forward and kissed him lightly, causing him to smile and blush.

Suddenly Kayla’s hand pulled away and he looked over to her. “I want to hold Nico’s hand,” she said, reverting to the angry glare. She stood on the other side of Nico and grabbed his hand.

“Come on this side,” he said pulling her between them so he was on the outer edge. “It’s dangerous for you to be the closest to the street.” She nodded and gripped his hand, skipping nonchalantly. Will glanced at Nico, with disbelief on his features while Nico fought back a smile.

They reached South Congress, and Will saw Nico’s eyes widen as people sped by on a bicycle or walked along the streets with bags in their hands. He peered curiously at the stands outside offering an impromptu poem, jewelry, or henna tattoos. There were two guys at one corner, sitting while they strummed away on a guitar and sang, both horribly off pitch and unintelligible.

“It’s kind of like New York but… you know with more space,” he noted. “Is that a costume shop?”

“Can we go to the book store first?” Kayla asked, shaking Nico arm. “Please?” He nodded and the three of them started walking down the sidewalk. Will saw a lesbian couple pass by, one girl’s arm over the other’s shoulder as she held her hand. A few seconds later, a gay couple passed by holding hands too. “Look! Like you and Nico!” Kayla shouted.

A few people glanced over at the sound of her voice, but kept walking. The couple looked over and chuckled while Will and Nico waved awkwardly. They waved at Kayla and kept walking. “Let’s keep our voices down, Kayla,” Will said with an embarrassed smile.

“I think I like it here,” Nico murmured, smiling at him, leaning into his shoulder.

They reached the bookstore, a small, quaint, and crowded little space with books everywhere- even on the checkout counter. While Kayla inspected a book case, Nico and Will checked out some books on the other side. They could still see Kayla, sitting on the floor, looking inquisitively at the covers.

Nico pulled him away from the shelf and wrapped his arms around his torso. “I want you to show me all the places you like here. A museum or a park, a favorite restaurant, anything. I want to know the place you call home.”

Will grabbed his chin in one hand, his arm over one of his shoulders, and said, “You’re my home.”

A deep scarlet blush spread across Nico’s cheeks and he put his hand over his face. “God, you are so fucking cheesy,” he mumbled into his chest, hiding his embarrassment.

“You love it,” he mumbled past his fingers. Nico groaned and Will opened his mouth to bite his fingers playfully.

Then Nico gasped, jumping in his arms and hitting his head on the bookshelf behind him. “Don’t do that,” he breathed, his eyes on his lips, his entire face red, his lips parted. And he still hadn’t pulled his hand away. Will raised an eyebrow and put a little more pressure on his fingers. Nico gasped again, his lips trembling and his body tensing.

Slowly, he let go and his hand fell away. “That’s interesting,” he whispered, with his own blush spreading on his cheeks.

Suddenly, Kayla was coming between them holding up a book. “Can I get this one?” She was looking at Nico, who looked flustered and confused.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure thing, Kayla,” he answered. He smiled at her and walked back to the counter to pay for a book.

After they left the bookstore, they spent time checking other stores out from antiques to costumes. It wasn’t long before Nico said he was hungry and Will suggested they go back to the house. After so much walking, Kayla had to be carried back, but Nico didn’t seem to mind.

“Hold on a sec,” he said, stopping him in the front yard. He went inside to check if his mom had finished cooking yet. Immediately he was enveloped in the scent of burger meat and bacon, and he could hear oil sizzling for fries. His stomach growled and he went in search of his mother.

As he went into the hall, he could hear arguing. He hesitated as he neared the closed door to his parents’ bedroom and listened.

“Would you calm down!” his mother snapped.

“No! How can you be so calm about this, why are you welcoming this kid?”

“Because he’s our son’s boyfriend, Lester, and we have to give him a chance,” she insisted.

“No. Not after what happened. They broke up, remember? And you know it was earlier than Will told us. He acted different. I don’t know what that boy did, but he hurt Will, and we can’t let that happen again.”

“We don’t know that,” she said. “Will hasn’t talked to us about it. If they’re together it must be for a reason, and Will is smart.”

“I know he is, but he also doesn’t understand relationships. Naomi, how would he know if he’s setting himself up for another heartbreak? He’s just a kid!”

“He’ll learn! All kids get their heartbroken, it’s life! As parents, we need to be there for him.”

“So just let him get hurt when we know we can stop it?”

“We can’t stop it,” she said, getting angrier. “We can’t force them to stay away from each other, they’re adults in another city.”

“We can try,” he shot back. “I don’t want that kid around Will. I don’t want him hurting my son or taking him down the wrong path. I can talk to Will, I can-”

“No,” she interrupted. “No, Lester. Because you can’t control your emotions when it comes to the family, despite being a psychologist. We cannot force them apart. I don’t know what to think of Nico either, but he’s been here less than a day. Right now, all I know is that they’re always touching in some way when they’re together like magnets. All I know is that when Will looks at him he looks happy. And when Nico looks at him, he looks calm. Right now? That’s enough to provide a good dinner.”

“Not for me,” he answered.

“I don’t care,” she said, using the tone of voice she always used when she was done with an argument and ready to have the last word. “Because you are not going to upset them when they’re only visiting and I haven’t seen my child in almost two months. Can you at least wait until one of them gives us a reason to be wary?” There was silence. “We are going to have a nice dinner. And you will behave yourself. Understand?”

There was shuffling and then the door opened. Will stared at his parents, both of them looking like deer in headlights. He clenched his jaw and looked away. “We’re back,” he muttered, turning to go outside and get Nico.

“Will,” his mother called. He stopped, only because she had been defending them. “Sweetheart, hold on. Come here.” He turned and kept his eyes on her. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that. We’re trying okay? I promise you that. We- I’m going to do my best to make sure Nico feels welcome.” Will’s eyes flitted accusingly to his father. “Don’t pay attention to your dad, he’s just being an asshole.” She tilted his face so he would look at her again. “You’re happy. And that’s all that matters right now.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said. “You might want to check on the fries.”

She froze. “Oh shit.” She hurried to the kitchen, and, ignoring his father, Will followed her with a smile. “Go ahead and get Nico in here, hon.”

He nodded and went back outside. Nico was chasing after Kayla while she screamed excitedly and went around the porch’s pillar. He managed to catch her and turned around immediately as Kayla began to chase after him.

“Hey, guys dinner’s ready,” Will called leaning against the wall.

“Wait, I have to catch Nico,” Kayla shouted back, her words infused with giggles. As she ran, her foot caught on the house and she fell, making Will react immediately. She stood right back up, despite both Nico and Will stopping to see if she was okay.

She hadn’t realized her knee was bleeding. She was still running after Nico until Nico picked her up and Will stood beside him. “Oh God, Kayla,” Will said worriedly. “Come on, let’s get her inside.”

“What? No! I wanna keep playing!”

“Kayla, you don’t want that getting infected. Come on, your brother’s a doctor, he can make it better,” Nico said. She pouted but stopped protesting as they got her inside.

His mom noticed immediately. “What happened?”

“She tripped over the hose while she was playing,” Will said. “I’m going to clean her up.” They went into the bathroom while Will got the first aid kit. “Distract her for me, babe?”

“Alright Kayla,” he said. “Do you know the I Spy game?” She nodded. “Okay, let’s play while Will fixes your knee, okay?” She nodded and Nico glanced around the bathroom. “I spy with my little eye something… pink.” While Kayla scavenged the bathroom for something pink, Will poured peroxide water over her knee. She twitched, but Nico kept her from looking as the bubbles spewed.

“Um… the soap?” she asked. He nodded. “Okay. I spy with my little eye something clear!”

Will wiped her scrape and put ointment on it before covering it with a band-aid. Nico had guess several times and couldn’t guess what Kayla had seen. “What is it?” he asked.

“The mirror!” Will snorted and covered his mouth at Nico’s dumbfounded expression. “Ooh, Mommy made burgers!” She hopped off the counter and ran out.

“The mirror? Is that cl- Wait, did she say burgers?” he asked.

Will smiled and nodded. “Mom wanted to make something you liked. So she made burgers.” Nico smiled, blushing slightly. They went to the kitchen and washed their hands, preparing to eat.

While Mom set up the table so everyone could style their own burgers, Kayla and his father sat down with drinks. Will glanced at his father fleetingly, hoping he wouldn’t make it obvious how unsure he was of Nico. When his mother sat down, they all started making their own burgers and she took a breath as she pulled her hair away from her face. “So, how did you two meet? I’ve heard so much about you, Nico.”

“O-Oh uh… well I was performing at a café. I play the guitar, and a friend and I were performing a song,” he explained. “Then Will decided to try and talk to me.”

“He was a bit of a jerk, actually,” he added. Nico rolled his eyes, but blushed, knowing it was true. “He was super defensive and I ended up walking away. After that, our friend Leo had us carpool to a party.”

“He planned that, you know,” Nico said, munching on fries. “When we went to pick you up, he just told me he had to ‘get something.’ Then he walked out with you.”

“You know, that doesn’t surprise me. It’s no wonder he had us both in the back.”

“Who’s Leo?” his mom asked.

“He sings some of Nico’s songs. He’s our friend. Actually I think he’s over in Houston,” Will answered. “But yeah. We didn’t like each other very much when we first met.”

His mom chuckled and shook her head. “So when did you two start liking each other?” she asked.

Both of them frowned and looked at each other. “I’m not sure. I know I realized it because….” He paused, remembering the drunk extravaganza and the accidental kiss with Percy. He really didn’t need to add to the reasons his father didn’t like Nico. “I found out someone else liked him. I got kind of jealous and… realized I liked him.”

Nico was resting his chin on his hand. “I can’t pinpoint a moment,” he murmured. “I never liked being around people too much. I never hung out with anyone. I wasn’t used to people genuinely caring. But Will did. And it wasn’t hard to be around him. It got to the point where I didn’t want to be away from him, but I was also scared to be around him. I’m not sure when, but… yeah.” He blushed and looked down at his food, laughing softly at himself. “I’m actually just lucky he liked me back.”

Will scoffed and bit his lip, reaching for his hand. He squeezed it gently. I love you. Nico looked at him with a smile and held his hand tighter. I love you too.

He let go so they could eat, and the second Nico bit into his burger, his eyes widened. “Oh my God,” he said, shoulder slumping with a sigh. “This is f- ah. This is incredible, wow.”

His mom laughed and she looked at him with a joyous smile. “It’s alright you can say it; it’s fucking incredible, right? A little homemade Texas taste.”

“Momma! You can’t say bad words!” Kayla reprimanded.

“Yes I can honey, I’m an adult. You can’t.”

Nico chuckled and nodded. “This is the best burger I’ve ever had. Oh man and the fries. God I love fries.” Nico was quiet for the rest of dinner as he stuffed his mouth with food.

Dinner was good. Nico seemed more relaxed as Kayla and his mom included him in conversation, telling embarrassing stories of Will or talking about things he should see while visiting. His father remained quiet, chuckling from time to time, giving small responses, but he didn’t seem too obviously upset.

When they finished, Nico went to the kitchen with his plate and offered to do the dishes. “Oh, no don’t worry about that,” Mrs. Solace said. “I’ve got it.”

“You already cooked. Really, it’s okay I can-”

She put a hand on his arm and smiled. “Nico, you’re a guest here. Guests don’t do dishes. Go.” He smiled and nodded, turning to join Will in Kayla’s room. Will’s mother was sweet. And Nico felt incredibly touched by the fact that she had made his favorite food for him. Maybe Will was right, and being here wouldn’t be so bad.

He walked over to Kayla’s room. The door was open, and Will and Kayla were on her bed talking. Nico walked in, but Kayla, who had her back to him, hadn’t heard. “-and he’s funny, and nice, and he plays with me. And you look happy, so it’s okay that you took him away.”

Will chuckled and pushed a strand of hair away from her face. “Oh, really? You sure?” he asked. She nodded. “I’m glad you like him. Wanna know a secret?” She nodded, leaning forward. “I’m in love with him,” he whispered, not-so-silently.

Kayla immediately let out a gasp. “Really?” she asked. Will nodded. “Oh my gosh! Are you gonna marry him?”

“What?” they asked at the same time. Kayla jumped and turned looking at Nico with a horrified expression.

“Nobody, nobody!” she shouted. “It’s nothing!”

“Ah, okay,” he said, sitting beside Will. “What are you guys doing?”

“Nothin’,” she answered, unable to withhold her smile.

“Alright, princess, Mom said it’s your bedtime, so go to sleep, okay?” She nodded and hugged Will tightly before turning to Nico and hugging him too. She shimmied into her covers and Will covered her up and took Nico’s hand as they left the room, shutting off the light.

He could hear the faucet where Mrs. Solace was washing the dishes and the TV where Mr. Solace was in the living room watching a show. Suddenly, he was pulled aside and Will kissed him so intensely, he got dizzy. He fought back a groan as he was pressed against the hallway wall. Will pulled away slightly, keeping Nico’s bottom lip between his lips.

“Holy fuck,” he breathed, looking into Will’s eyes.

“I love you,” he murmured, leaning in, his lips moving against Nico’s as he spoke.

“I love you too, amore,” he said with a smile. He found it incredible that he had once gone a day without telling Will he loved him. He found it incredible that he had ever been afraid to say it to him. They’d only been dating officially again for a little over a week, and he couldn’t stop saying it any chance he could.

“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. Are you going to shower today too or wait till morning?”

“Morning,” he answered. “I’m going to go to bed now. Running around with Kayla is more exhausting than I thought.” Will chuckled and tugged on his hair gently. “I’ll see you in the morning, baby.”

“Goodnight, love,” he answered kissing his cheek. Nico went into the guest room and Will went into the bathroom.

It was a small, cozy room with a lamp and carpeted floor. Nico pulled his duffel bag out and changed into something cozy to sleep in. The bed was soft and comfortable. But it was also cold and empty. He’d gotten used to sleeping beside Will. Eventually, he was able to fall asleep, despite how restless he felt.

The next morning, he woke up to someone nudging him gently. “Nico. Babe? Wake up, baby.” He groaned and opened his eyes. “Love, I have to go somewhere, okay? I don’t know if I’ll be back when you wake up.”

“Where you going?” he murmured, wondering if Will could even understand.

“Dad asked me to take Kayla shopping for school supplies and clothes while he worked on the yard. Figured if I went early, no lines.” Nico started to get up, but Will gently nudged him down. “No, it’s okay go to sleep. Text me when you’re up. Love you.”

“Love you,” he responded, already feeling the urge to sleep again. Will kissed him lightly, and Nico grimaced. “Mm, I have morning breath,” he mumbled into his pillow.

He heard Will chuckle. “I don’t care.” He felt his hand run through his hair and another gentle kiss on his cheek. Then he heard a door shut and sleep overcame him again.

When he woke up a second time, he groaned and sat up, wincing at the sunlight streaming in so intensely through the window. He checked the time and winced when he saw it was 11:30. He hated how his medicine messed with his sleep schedule. He reached over to his bag for a toothbrush and his medicine, taking the small pills dry and leaving the room to brush his teeth and take a shower.

When he got back to the room and got dressed, Will still wasn’t back yet, and he was slightly nervous about leaving to go and interact with Nico’s parents alone. But he figured staying in his room past noon would look bad too, so he steeled himself and left the room anyway.

“Hey, Nico,” Mrs. Solace greeted.

“Hi. I’m so sorry I’m so late in getting out of the room.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “No worries, hon. Will told us waking up could be a little difficult. Are you hungry? I could make you some eggs.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m okay,” he said with a grateful smile. “I can just wait for lunch.”

He turned away and started to text Will on his phone, but the voice of Will’s father distracted him. He looked up and saw him sitting at the dining table. “Could we talk for a moment?” he said.

Nico froze and looked between the two of them. Will’s mother looked stressed and slightly angry. “Lester, don’t,” she warned.

“I just want to talk to him for a minute,” he answered. “Sit down, Nico. Please.”

He went over to the chair and kept his eyes on Mrs. Solace because she was less intimidating. “What’s going on?” he asked slowly.

“Lester, we talked about this,” Mrs. Solace said with her hands on her hip.

“I know, Naomi. But I have to do this. For Will.” Nico gulped and felt his hands begin to sweat. Mr. Solace’s blue eyes flickered to Nico. Although they were cold, there was also some nervousness about his movements. “Nico…. We’d-” Mrs. Solace cleared her throat. “I’d like to talk to you about your intentions with my son.”

“Intentions?” he questioned.

“I just want to make sure that we’re on the same page. There are some things that… are a bit concerning.”

“Like?” Nico asked uneasily.

“Like… whether or not you’re trustworthy when it comes to being with my son. Are you capable of caring for him? Watching out for him? Because as far as I’ve seen, he’s been the one taking care of you.” Nico furrowed his eyebrows and clenched his fists under the table. “I only know things in Will’s point of view. The hurt that you have caused in the past and the repercussions it’s had on my son.” Nico winced at the word ‘past.’

“That’s in the past,” Nico breathed out, feeling his heart pounding. “I’m not going to hurt him.”

“Will has put you on some type of pedestal, making sure you have everything you need to be happy. What have you done for him?” Nico opened his mouth, unsure of what to say to that. He already felt like he wasn’t doing enough for Will. He didn’t need this man telling him all of these things. “Frankly, after the stunt you pulled on New Year’s, I don’t think I can-”

“New Year’s?” Nico exclaimed, in utter shock. How the hell did he know about New Year’s?

“New Year’s?” Mrs. Solace questioned. “Wait a second, what happened on New Year’s?”

Nico’s breaths turned irregular as Will’s dad crossed his arms. “Yeah, I know about that. Because I had to watch my son feeling torn apart because you decided to go out, get drunk, and cheat on-”

“I never cheated on Will!” Nico shouted back, feeling dizzy. “That’s not what happened!”

“Isn’t it? Isn’t kissing someone you’re not dating considered cheating?” Nico didn’t answer, staring at him with wide, panicked eyes. Even his mom seemed to step back a bit, unsure of him. “And what about the drunkenness, Nico?”

“I don’t drink anymore,” he spit through clenched teeth. “I’ve been sober for four months. I stopped for him.”

“Frankly, I don’t think that really matters. Addictive tendencies return.” Nico gulped, feeling nauseated. “I’ve seen it happen several times in my field. And I’ve seen the destruction it leaves behind. The hurt it causes in people.” Nico shut his eyes and shook his head. “Alcoholism isn’t just fathers who drink too much and beat their wives and promise it won’t happen again. It’s also boyfriends who go out and cheat and come back promising it won’t happen again.”

“No. No, stop it, I’m not like that!”

“Then what are you like Nico? Because I know your type-”

“My type?” he scowled.

“Yes, type. The type that parties and goes out and drinks too much and doesn’t care about other people’s feelings and focuses solely on themselves-”

“No!” he shouted. “No! I’m not like that, you don’t know me at all! I’ve been going to therapy, to a psychiatrist, I’ve been taking Zoloft, and I quit drinking because I wanted to be better for Will. I care about him more than I’ve cared about anyone in my life, including myself!”

“Okay, you’ve been on Zoloft for what, four months as well? Less? That’s not enough time for it to take effect. You are not in the position to have a healthy relationship yet. You still have things to work on with yourself-”

“No.”

“Before you can even try to get into a relationship. This, right now? This will end badly, with my son being the only one getting hurt.”

“That’s not true,” he said, his voice shaking with rage. “I’d be hurt too. I’m trying. I’m trying so hard for him.”

“Right now, just trying is not good enough. And I’m not comfortable with you being around my family.”

“Lester, that’s enough,” Mrs. Solace said tensely.

But Nico was broken. He stood up, shaking, dizzy, his heart pounding. “No! You know what, screw you! You don’t know a single fucking thing about me or my life or what I’ve been through. Will does! Will knows everything and he’s helped me so much. The person you’re comparing me to is someone I was eight months ago! I’m not like that anymore! I’m better! No, I’m not good enough, and maybe I’ll never be, I know that! I know how destructive my shitty mind can be, and so does Will, and he’s still willing to be with me. And that’s enough.” He took a few deep breaths, feeling weak and afraid. “I would never hurt him, because I love him. I’ve gone too long telling myself I’m not good enough or worth the trouble of being loved, and I’ve only recently started to change that with your son’s help. And I will not let some arrogant, closed-minded, demeaning asshole make me revert to that shitty thought process and ruin my progress!” He turned away, his entire body hot and tense as he left the house and slammed the door.

Click to read Ch. 34

[wanderingjotun]

Pop Culture Paganism, Semantics, and My Practice

I resisted the name of “Pop Culture Pagan” for a while, not because I wasn’t interested in working with pop culture spirits, but because there was this feeling that being a PCP required worshipping these spirits as divine entities, as gods (or, alternatively, only working with the particular gods of a pop culture system, like Hylia from Hyrule). And that never really sat well with me. Not because I don’t believe they can be gods, if they wish or that’s how your practice shakes out, but because that wasn’t what I was looking for when expanding my spiritual practice. I already have gods meddling enough, thank you very much. And, to be quite honest, I’ve never really been one for ‘traditional’ worship to begin with.

I don’t really know where this idea that pop culture entities were to be treated like gods or “you’re doing it wrong” (ugh) came from, but I let it keep me from really exploring pop culture paganism until recently. I was determined to stick purely to the Norse pantheon—the gods I gushed and cried to and had to swat off when I needed private time. But I liked the idea of pop culture paganism a lot. I kept a TARDIS papercraft on my altar, partially because I saw Loki in the Doctor and partially because, deep down (though I wouldn’t admit it at the time), I wanted to work with the Doctor in my spiritual practice. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t wind up opening that door at the time. I wasn’t ready. And one cosmic Trickster was enough.

In an attempt to learn more, I would trawl through the Tumblr Pop Culture Paganism tag, hoarding ideas, unconsciously refueling my “I can’t do this” bias, and marveling at the people who could. I tried to pick a fandom I thought I could start with if I ever decided to try, but every time my fear of permanency—of fucking up and being stuck with that poor choice forever—kept me from actually giving it a shot. Add in a healthy sprinkling of self-doubt and self-consciousness about how other people might see me, and the very idea started tying me up in knots. Once that happened, I would ditch it completely for a while and remind myself that I was a Good Heathen™ (let’s just ignore the whole “working with Loki” thing and the fact that “Good Heathen™” is super problematic in other ways for now) and couldn’t possibly work with pop culture gods, because I was devoted to the Norse deities. Eventually, the curiosity and the urge would hit me again.

So, I was caught in this weird on-again, off-again consideration of an idea I found both appealing and off-putting. As a sort of middle ground, I made my Fandom Oracle deck—a stepping stone toward working with pop culture spirits by using their likenesses (and, potentially, energies) in a divination tool. Almost a year after putting it together, it’s my favorite deck of all time. But I was still exceedingly uncomfortable with the idea of further incorporating pop culture entities into my personal practice. There was still that hang up of “worship.” I sucked at worshiping the gods I already worked with, how could I justify potentially reaching out to more of my own accord? And that wasn’t even counting the fact that I almost never initiated a relationship with a spiritual being on my own. Normally, they’re the ones that reached out first. I had no idea where to even begin.

By the time I started watching my roommate play through Final Fantasy XV, I had finally resigned myself to doing pop culture magic and divination, but never really being a person who could be in contact with pop culture entities. There were no PC gods that called to me, and my other internal issues were their own block. I never expected to feel so attached to three (well, four, but Noctis is a special case at the moment) characters in a game I wasn’t even playing yet. Especially since I’d never actually made it through a full game in the franchise before, mostly because I’m just not a huge gamer and got distracted by other things.

But I couldn’t get enough. I looked up fanart. I read the game spoilers. I started my own play through. It became my de-stressing tool at the end of the day and, even on days when I felt like I had no energy for anything, I could manage to play an hour or two and spend time with the Chocobros. The banter and the easy relationship between the boys was a safe, comforting space for me. And that’s not even including the beautiful scenery, the catharsis of beating up imaginary creatures, or the amusement of the game glitches.

The game became my escape, in more ways than one, and I started realizing I felt like I knew Ignis, Prompto, Gladiolus, and Noctis better than I knew some of the people in my life. I felt like I could trust them for some reason, even though I knew they’d been programmed to act a specific way. I connected to them in a way I hadn’t connected to characters in a long time, and I’m still not even sure why. But it happened.

One night, on a pure whim, I jokingly asked my pendulum if I should consider reaching out to Ignis spiritually, since I was so similar to him. To my utter surprise (and anxious horror), it gave me an incredibly firm “Yes.”

I’ll admit: I panicked. I must have done the reading wrong. It was just supposed to be a joke; I couldn’t possibly actually reach out to Ignis! So, being paranoid and a devotee of discernment, I did about a hundred other readings (including asking for some third-party blind confirmations) and everything came back positive, no matter the iteration or subtle word changes I used. Yes, yes, yes, talk to him already!

When the message finally sank in, I reluctantly reached out. And, as things tend to do in my spiritual life, it quickly snowballed. In the span of two days, I had had brief interactions with Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio, because package deals are apparently my thing. The moment I opened up to their energy, to the idea that they were real PC spirits and I’d somehow gotten their attention, I could feel them clearer than I’d felt spiritual entities in ages. I was pretty sure I was losing my mind, but I pushed forward nonetheless.

So, now I’m working with pop culture spirits and there’s no turning back. Does that make me a Pop Culture Pagan? Yes and no. I am a Pagan/Heathen, and I work with pop culture spirits alongside the Norse pantheon. I don’t believe the Chocobros are gods, nor do they seem to want to be (jokes about Prompto being the god of photography aside). I’m not worshiping them in any traditional sense, but I’ve made a list of gifts and activities I think they’d enjoy, same as I’d do with friends on the physical plane, and I’d love to get figures or art of them for my altar. They’ve already helped me through panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, and awful meetings at work. They still make me smile every time I feel them around, or boot up their game (even when I’m crying about the uber-angsty plot), but I don’t pray to them or have the same ‘godly’ feeling I have when Loki or Odin or Frigga pop in.

If I had to create my own label for my current situation, I’d probably use something along the lines of “Pop Culture Spirit Companion.” Which is entertaining in its own right, since “spirit companion” is another descriptor I’d never really thought to apply to myself before. But it fits here. First and foremost, I’m friends with the PC spirits currently in my life. They want to help me, and I want to help them, but mostly we just goof off and sass each other. And that’s perfect for us right now. It’s friendship, companionship, with spirits that originated from a video game (well, I mean, multiverse theory suggests they have their own plane and whatnot, but most people will look at it as “these are video game characters, Nonir”) instead of more “traditional” spirits like ghosts or fae.

“Pop Culture Spirit Companion” isn’t really a term I’ve seen used before, either. From what I’ve seen of other people sharing their experiences (admittedly, this is pretty much confined to Tumblr and the godsawful tag search system), the closest is a discussion of soulbonding with PC entities, but that doesn’t feel quite right when discussing my relationship with Iggy, Gladio, and Prompto. It is, of course, a matter of semantic preference more than anything, since these sorts of terms mean different things to different people, but I like to think there are more people out there who have a sort of spirit companionship-type relationship with PC entities, even if I’m the only one actively working with the cast of FFXV.

For some reason “Pop Culture Pagan” still carries a connotation for me of venerating PC spirits and entities the way one honors other gods (because my paganism is inherently polytheistic, this is where my mindset goes; I know, logically, there are a lot of different pagan paths that don’t include deities at all), and that just simply doesn’t describe my current path. But if I have any hope of connecting with other people who work with PC entities in any form outside specific spellwork, it’s a label I have to uncomfortably shoulder for now.

There’s still resistance, and there may always be. But for now, I am a Heathen and a Pop Culture Pagan/Spirit Companion. And I’m learning to be okay with that, for both their sake and mine.

[anipwrites]

Do you have any advice for new fic writers? Do you ever read fics from fandoms that you aren't in?

Oh goodness I can’t believe I’m being asked for advice. This got real long, so the rest is below the cut.

Okay so here’s what I’ve got. My advice for new fic writers, whether fanfiction or original material, is that not everything has to be posted. I started off writing Sonic the hedgehog fanfiction, crossovers, the like. A lot of it was really bad. As much as I wish it were so, you don’t start off writing with perfect description and dialogue and plot and such. You might have some things you’re stronger in and others. That’s not necessarily bad. You have time to grow.

I saw a quote, can’t remember who said it, but it was something along the lines of “your first million words are practice.” and its true–your first few stories are your training wheels, your first steps. You’re learning what works and what doesn’t. 

Reading a lot helps. Read a lot of books, check out books from the library if you can. Read fanfiction, read short stories, just read. It helps you learn what works and what doesn’t. Learn from these and develop your own style from what inspires you.

I like to keep a journal (or a google document) of ideas I get, so I can go back and think them through and maybe write them if I like them later. 

You don’t have to write every minute of the day. Don’t guilt trip yourself if you don’t write anything for awhile–writing will be there to go back to when you have the time and are ready. No need to feel rushed. Writing should be fun–don’t make it stressful.

In middle school I was always told ‘don’t use said’ and ‘don’t refer to the character by name every time. Use descriptions.’ Tbh that’s not really sound advice when it comes to writing stories–it can be distracting and pull focus away from the actual story. Some people pull it off well. Whatever you think is best for you. I’m no professional–what works for me won’t work for everyone.

Some people like to have little support groups of friends and/or family, to keep them on track and cheer them on. Others don’t. It’s your choice–but half the stories I’ve posted/written would either be deleted or discontinued if I didn’t have people supporting me.

Learn the difference between critics and flamers. Flamers don’t offer any tips or advice, critics do. It’s hard, but do your best to ignore the flamers.

Write what inspires you–not what you feel people want. But on the other hand, a lot of people say ‘write for yourself! It shouldn’t matter if you get support or attention or not!’ but it can hurt if you don’t get positive reviews or any reviews. Write what you like, but also be grateful for those who read.

NaNoWriMo is a big challenge. I’ve never been able to finish on time. Don’t feel bad if you don’t hit your goals for your writing right when you want to–what’s important is that you’ve written. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself. School can interfere, life happens, do not beat yourself up over it. 

When I feel bad about my writing, I like to go to my friends. They can help cheer me up. (PS: one of my best friends and I are both writing original fiction, and we roleplay with our OCs over kik. It’s fun, it gives us ideas, it helps with characterization, it can be great.) But other times when I’m a bit down, I go into the deep dark recesses of my journals and documents and read something old. Something really old. Sometimes I get a good laugh out of it, but it definitely reminds me of how far I’ve come.

Writing long-hand (pen and paper) or typing is really a choice of the writer’s. One isn’t inherently better than the other–sometimes I write parts of fanfiction I’m trying to puzzle out long-hand and then type it up on the document when I’m through. 

Whatever you decide to use, you don’t need some fancy program or a special leather-bound notebook if you don’t want. I tend to use composition journals or big notebooks, and Google Docs. I recommend Google Docs because you can access documents offline, and anywhere there’s internet, and there’s an app on your phone so you can work on the go. (PS: if you end up writing too long and need to finish an assignment at the last minute, the app is great for that. I did homework on the bus to school all the time in the past and got some of the highest scores)

Sometimes you see people get fanart and gifts and praise for their fanfiction, and you might get a little jealous. That’s okay. Some people just aren’t as vocal about how your story impacted them, but I’m sure something you’ll write will impact somebody, should you ever choose to share it. And that somebody is the reason I keep going.

Some things are harder for people to write than others. It’s pretty hard for me to write battle scenes–so I do a bit of research, ask friends, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and critiques.

Beta readers have saved my life so many times. Should you ever choose to post something, getting a beta is an amazing idea.

A book I’d recommend would be ‘On Writing’ by Stephen King, and I would also suggest checking out @simplewritingtips for more advice on genres or prompts and such. 

As far as me, I don’t really read fanfiction for fandoms I’m not in. Or at least ones I don’t have a somewhat-base knowledge of. Characterization from the canon material affects character’s thought processes and motivations and actions that I might not understand well if I don’t know the source material. 

I hope this helps at all! If you need more advice on specific things, or want me to check something of yours out, feel free to send another ask or shoot me a message! I hope you enjoy writing!

[my-one-love-is-music]

Too Obvious

Summary: In hindsight, Levi realized that the two of them really weren't doing anything to hid their relationship from their fans on Tumblr. They'd just fallen into a rhythm and everything else seemed to fall into place with it. 

Time for another installation of the fic verse!!! It's been so long since I worked with the universe I set up, but better late than never, right?

Hope you enjoy some more from our hopeless nerds.

Also on AO3!

               It had quickly become routine, interacting with Eren after the two of them had really gotten serious with each other after they started dating. Levi hadn’t thought much about the increase in skype conversations that they’d had or the fact that they weren’t afraid to tag each other in posts at all or have somewhat public conversations, despite the fact that none of Levi’s fans knew what he looked like or much about his personal life beyond the small snippets that he would give if he was running late on an update or someone sent him an ask wanting to know how he was doing.

               Eren’s fanart output had also increased now that he was on break and had more time to draw, which he was never afraid to indulge in with Levi’s fics either. Most of their fans followed both of them so it didn’t take long before questions began to arise about the two of them. People wondered when they’d become such good friends and how long they’d known each other and if they interacted in real life. None of these questions had been asked directly to either of them so Levi saw no need to answer and he assumed that Eren just failed to see the conversations that were happening on Tumblr since he tended to get so absorbed in his projects and other things.

               That is, until someone reblogged one of Eren’s pieces of art from him and added quite a compromising comment in the tags.

 #this is so cute #I love the fic this is for too #kaydensweet15 #ISwearTheseTwoAreDating

                 The last one had made him stop in his tracks and he had to read it over a couple of times before he was sure of what he was seeing. Interested to get Eren’s opinion on the whole thing, he sent him the post through messenger.

 Humanity’s Strongest: Look at the tags on this post. What do you think?

                 While he waited for a response, he clicked on the blog and started skimming through their posts to see if they made any other mention of him and Eren, curious as to how far these theories and claims had spread among the people on the site. There were times when he was still surprised by how diverse and widespread his readership was and the fact that this had grown so much wasn’t something that he’d been expecting. He wasn’t surprised to find multiple conversations between the blogger and the person who they’d mentioned in the tags. Thankfully, there wasn’t anything discussed that was explicit and it was mostly the two of them bouncing ‘what if’ situations off each other and referencing several posts made by Eren and Levi wherein they interacted with each other.

               Levi honestly hadn’t even noticed the growing attention placed on the two of them, either. They both remained pretty tight-lipped about their lives outside of the internet so he wasn’t worried about something weird happening if he did happen to know someone who followed him in real life. That line of thinking always made him feel a bit strange. He could easily pass one of his readers on the street and never know it and they wouldn’t either.

               His messenger notification brought him back to the conversation at hand and he closed out of the blog he was looking at to check Eren’s response.

 Jaegermeister: Huh. I never considered that our interactions on Tumblr could somehow be suggestive of our actual relationship.

 HS: What do you think we should do? Should we address this or just leave it alone?

 JM: I don’t think we need to address it until someone brings it to our attention directly. From there, I don’t really mind if they know that we’re dating. It’s not like they know who we are off the internet so it shouldn’t bother me unless they start asking really inappropriate questions about our relationship which, considering the type of people who follow us and the stuff they read, is a possibility.

                 Levi sat back and thought over Eren’s words. He hadn’t expected him to have that much to say about it and he honestly agreed with him.

 HS: I agree. For now it’s probably fine that we just keep doing what we’ve been doing.

 JM: Nice. You still free to skype later?

 HS: Yeah.

 JM: I’ll see you then. I’d love to keep chatting, but I need to get back to working on my new drawing.

 HS: It’s scary how much the two of us are workaholics, isn’t it?

 JM: Yeah, a bit. But what we do makes us happy so I’m not about to complain. Plus, your work is amazing and I definitely wouldn’t be at the level I’m at now without your writing as inspiration.

                 Levi felt himself flush and become embarrassed over the praise. He was glad that Eren wasn’t there in person to see his reaction. Eren always threw out his praise out easily, like he thought it wouldn’t make Levi freeze and obsess over the words or wouldn’t mean as much to him as it really did.

 HS: Well I need to get back to work.

                 He hurriedly clicked back to the open Word document that he was working in and got back to his chapter, trying, and failing, to push Eren’s words from his mind. A pretty important part of his story was coming up and he wanted to make sure that he dealt with it just right. He’d been waiting to get to this moment for a long time and he wasn’t about to let anything distract him from getting it perfect, even if he had to rewrite it and rework it a hundred times over and delay his posting.

                 A few days passed and Levi had pretty much forgotten about the conversation that he’d had with Eren and the rumors that were floating around among their fans. He hadn’t noticed any more comments in the tags of posts or any other posts that were written specifically about their relationship and hadn’t received any messages or asks detailing the aspects of his relationship with his boyfriend. His new chapter and his boyfriend were both keeping him pretty occupied so there wasn’t much space left in his brain for other thoughts and he was forced to prioritize more than usual and pushing aside unimportant concerns didn’t bother him anyway.

               He’d been so focused on his writing that he almost missed the sound of a new message notification on Tumblr. When he looked at the message he was starting to wonder why he kept the website open in the first place when he was trying to work. Probably because he was addicted to it, as shitty as it could be sometimes it did get him to his current status as a fanfic writer so he couldn’t really complain.

 JM: So…

                 He groaned. This was going to be one of those times when it took forever for Eren to message him because he was trying to figure his thoughts out as he was typing. He’d have to give up on working on his new chapter since he was sure that every time he got back into the groove of writing, he’d just get another message. He wished there was a way to change the tone of the notification to make it sound more ominous. He felt like he’d need it with all the directions this conversation might go.

 JM: I know that we just talked about this and came to an agreement on how we would deal with it.

                 Levi’s brow furrowed. They’d talked about a lot of things over the past few days. One of which were his plans to visit him later in the summer. Was he rethinking that? Or was this something totally different? This was why he hated not talking over the phone or face to face when Eren was trying to get his thoughts in order.

 JM: But I finally got the ask.

 JM: About us, I mean.

                 Levi’s brain immediately returned to the conversation that they’d had about this and how they began to realize that their fans were becoming suspicious and typed out a quick reply.

 HS: Oh. What does it say?

 JM: Nothing bad. Just some anon sent “Not to be rude and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to answer, but are you by any chance dating Humanity’s Strongest?”

 HS: That’s it? Really?

 JM: Yeah, it’s not bad at all. So before I answer it, I just wanted to check one more time that you’re okay with me telling them that we are in fact dating.

 HS: Sorry, but I have no recollection of the two of us dating. You must be making this up.

 JM: LEVI!!!

 JM: What do you mean?

 JM: LEEEEEVIIIIIII!!!!!

 JM: Don’t be mean!!!

                 Levi smirked and quickly typed out a response to stop Eren’s barrage of messages. He always enjoyed teasing him.

 HS: Yes, it’s fine. You can tell them that we’re dating.

 JM: Good because I already did.

 HS: You already…

 HS: Then what did you bother asking me for?

 JM: Calm down. I just did it a second ago when you were being mean. It was out of spite.

                 Levi rolled his eyes.

 HS: Sorry. Eren who? What boyfriend? I’m sorry, but I have no idea who you are and am going to block you.

 JM: Levi!!!

 JM: LEVIIII!!!!

                 He ignored him and went back to editing his newest chapter. He was pretty happy with how things were turning out with it and couldn’t have imagined a better scenario for his characters to work with. It was a satisfying chapter to write and he couldn’t wait for the reactions and comments to hear what everyone else thought about it.

               Until his skype started ringing. His head fell down to the coffee table that he was seated at with a groan and he reluctantly accepted the call.

               “Yes?” he asked.

               “You’re mean,” Eren said, petulantly.

               “Is that all you needed?” Levi asked, turning his head to get a glimpse of Eren’s pouting face.

               He blinked at him. “Well, not really. I just wanted to see how you were doing and thought we could hang out on skype for a while.”

               Levi rubbed the back of his neck. “If you really want to. I was just in the middle of editing my new chapter so I don’t know how much talking I’ll be doing for a while.”

               “Oh yeah. This is the big one, right? The chapter that you’ve been looking forward to?”

               “Yeah,” Levi said, leaning back against the couch and pulling his knees to his chest to rest his chin on them.

               “Think you could read me a little preview?”

               “Just because you’re my boyfriend doesn’t mean that you get special treatment over the rest of my readers. You get to see it when everyone else gets to see it.”

               Eren laughed at that. “Fine, fine. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I’ll just have to wait until you’re here and then I can sneak glances of your writing as you work and I pretend to work on my drawings.”

               “Keep thinking that and I won’t be working on my fics at all while I’m there.”

               Eren rolled his eyes. “I’ll be good, I promise. And it really won’t bother me if you don’t do any work while you’re here. I just care that you actually show up and we can spend some much needed time together.”

               “Because we don’t already spend so much time together? If we’re not messaging each other then we’re texting, and if we’re not texting, then we’re on skype with each other either working or watching a movie. Don’t even get me started on all of the interactions and cross-posting we do of each other on Tumblr. It’s really no wonder that everyone was starting to put the pieces together that we were dating. In hindsight, we really were that obvious.”

               “Fine, some in-person time together. Geez, stop analyzing every little thing that I say,” Eren complained.

               “Can’t. It’s too much fun. Plus it’s the writer in me and I love when you get all flustered,” Levi said, pulling up his web browser that already had Tumblr open. He refreshed his feed and scrolled through the posts that came up, finally landing on the ask that Eren had answered about their relationship.

 Anonymous asked: Hi, I don’t mean to be rude or anything and it’s fine if you don’t want to answer this since it’s sort of personal, but are you by any chance dating the fic writer Humanity’s Strongest? You two just seem pretty close and I was curious.

 Hey anon! In fact, I am actually dating HS. We’ve been together for a couple of months now since he asked me out. I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised that everyone who follows the two of us has noticed since we haven’t exactly been subtle, but the time we’ve spent together so far has been absolutely amazing and even though we’ve only been together a short while, I can’t imagine what my life would be like without him anymore. Turns out drawing fanart does actually get you places with your favs, haha. : D

                 Levi propped his chin in his hand and read over the words several times, turning them over in his head. He didn’t know that Eren had felt so strongly about the two of them, but he was glad that he wasn’t the only one. This relationship, as crazy as the circumstances were that brought it into existence, was more than he could ever ask for.

               “Levi? Levi?!” Eren exclaimed.

               He started at the sound of his name and moved back to his skype window where Eren was watching him intently.

               “Everything okay? You were kind of zoned out there.”

               “Fine,” he said and went back to Tumblr as Eren continued to talk. He quickly liked Eren’s post before moving on.

               “Okay…well you should see some of these responses to my…” his voice trailed off and Levi intently tried to ignore his quickening heartbeat. “Hey, Levi?”

               “Yeah?” he asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible even as his insides twisted and turned and somersaulted over themselves for his attention.

               “I really like you.” And damn it all if the fondness in Eren’s voice didn’t just make his insides feel like they were simultaneously melting and constricting.

               “I’d hope so,” Levi said, trying and failing to sound snarky and lighten up the situation. It was crazy how much he liked Eren. “We are dating after all.” It’d only been a few short months, but each moment they’d been together had felt like it held the power of lifetimes. All the months that they’d anonymously interacted on AO3 and Tumblr between art and fic had really been leading them to this moment.

               They’d subtly and slowly gotten to know each other so much further in advance that when the time came where they began to interact more directly, it would’ve been surprising if they hadn’t fallen for each other. Hell, they were probably halfway there when Eren sent him that first message on Tumblr. Levi had found solace in their skype conversations and texting and had been caught staring on more than one occasion when he was so distracted by watching Eren. He could never stop himself from staring at the cute little creases that formed on his forehead when he was concentrating intensely on some new piece of artwork and trying to get the style and details just right and worked to commit them to memory or wonder how he would go about describing them if Eren was one of his characters.

               Then there were the times when he’d caught Eren watching him if he paused in his work and had flushed and asked him what was wrong and Eren had just shook his head fondly and told him how cute he was when he was working intently or insisted that he got this little smile on his face when he was on a particularly exciting part of a fic or chapter update. Levi always did his best to brush off Eren’s comments, but he couldn’t deny the pleasure that twisted in his gut that Eren liked him that much or thought so kindly of him. The fact that he was never afraid to be endearingly honest even if his words were of the nature that Levi would never be able to dream up in a million years despite his experience creating and playing out romantic situations and confessions in his fics.

               It was true that they were probably far too obvious and hadn’t even realized the little things that they would do or say to each other online that could give away their relationship. But when it felt almost as though the feelings they had were burning and all-consuming, trying to get out and make themselves known to the world, being a little too obvious didn’t seem so bad. It was almost scary how natural it seemed to want to give everything you had to the person you cared so deeply for. Sometimes Levi wondered if this is what love felt like, but he didn’t think he was quite ready to use that word.

               “Yeah,” Eren said, in that too-fond voice of his that made Levi want to stop and close his eyes and just exist and revel in it. “Yeah, we are.”