#got bills to pay so :/ adult life is not fun

[marbelcrossovers]

Will you start updating the fanfics again?

I am still writing...just very slowly since I'm busy with work and life.

[thepettymachine]

Wandering Souls Challenge for TS3

Heeey so I made another challenge. Might be the last one I ever make who knows. But I got inspired by the Postcard Legacy for TS4 and made something similar but not similar to it. It took a minute to make but I hope you enjoy

Wandering Souls Challenge is a 10 generation legacy challenge where you go through multiple jobs and careers with story elements involved. This is a challenge if you don't wanna do just one career all of your sims life and don't mind moving around + mild drama but not soul shattering.

Tag: "wandering souls challenge" or "@" me

Rules:

I didn't really make any but don't feel obligated to do everything as an objective. Somethings you probably aren't going to get to everything and that's okay. If you do everything congratulations, if you don't move on.

I have no designated way to play this (ex: what town do you recommend in playing with this), I'm giving the player what they want to do within the confines of this challenge. It's your sandbox not mine.

You do have some optional goals for extra fun if you choose to do so.

Have fun

Carry On Wayward Son

When you were young, you didn’t take anything as serious as your music. Your obsession with the chords became as necessary as breathing and you’ll do anything but sell your soul to the industry. But as you grew older and had a family, you wish for more structure with your music in hopes for it to reach the people that desperately need to hear it. So you find an indie record company and work with them because your artistic freedom is still the forefront of why you’re doing all of this. Plus feeding your family and paying the bills. 

Objectives:

Start by making money through collecting tips while working part time jobs

Half way through your YA years, you try a Singing career or being part of a band but it doesn’t work out

As an adult, you enter into the Music career for more structure and to reach a larger fanbase

Pick a branch between classical or rock

Your lover/(s) must be all creative types like you (artist, sculptor, architect, musician, street artist, etc)

You encourage your children to also pursue the arts

Master all 4 instruments (guitar, bass, piano, and drums)

Get at least 3 tattoos somewhere on your body

2. Jeffrey Jeffrey Simzos

If the Grinch and Scrooge had a love child, it would be you. You couldn’t really get behind your parent’s idealistic dreams about music and art, it felt unstable and unrealistic to you. You want wealth and power at your fingertips and anyone at your beck and call. Whether its through a wealthy spouse, your boss, the corporate ladder, or getting into politics, you will reach the top. For there is no redemption arc and no grace to be given for Greed has already devoured the remnants of your dead beating heart.

Objectives:

Have bake sales as a child and dislike any attempts at the arts

Join the Business career

Be enemies with all of your coworkers

Go from a small house/apartment to a big mansion/house

Be the owner of multiple businesses around town + an additional home

Marry a rich sim you definitely married for money

Have at least one child with the butler or maid you hired

You become more power hungry so you join Politics after reaching level 8 of Business career

Steal campaign funds 

Your kids must be the top of their class, no exceptions (straight A’s, no skipping school, be apart of a club) or they are sent to boarding school

You are not close with any of your children

Optional: woohoo your boss

3. Yes Chef

Because excellence was required of you as a child, you tend to have a strong work ethic and unrealistic expectations for yourself and others while despising what you had to endure in your upbringing. The one good thing out of it was discovering your love of cooking. Cooking was a way for you to escape your worries and as an adult you desire to be a chef, going against everything your parents raised you with. You started from the bottom and found your way all the way at the top as head chef. But something is missing and so you explore other cultures and find new excitement in  nectar making. You figure when you retire, you wanna spend the rest of your days being a nectar maker on a giant farm in the countryside.

Objectives:

Start at the diner for the first half of your career, then move over to the bistro for the second half

Bartend for bars at night for extra income

Read every recipe and learn all the fancy drinks

Master Cooking & Mixology

Marry your childhood friend or high school friend you haven’t seen in years

Cook your spouse and children their favorites meals at least once

At the top of your career, you get bored and visit travel other cultures for their cuisine (go to France, Egypt, and China to learn their food recipes)

Get inspired by nectar making 

When becoming an Elder, move to the countryside, retire as a chef, and become a self employed nectar farmer. 

4. Country Roads, Take Me Home

You’ve always found interest in nature as a kid and instead of wanting to be in the comfy suburbs or stargazing the city’s skylines.You even had a knack for bringing stray animals into your home but they always seemed to run away when you left for school (according to your parents). That’s why instead of working a typical 9-5, you fulfill your childhood dream of being on a farm and working with your bare hands. Building a life you always dreamed of yet will work hard to maintain. There’s no sleeping in for this dreamer.

Objectives:

As a child you were part of the scouts

Live on a farm or ranch

Work as a self employed gardener

Master the Fishing, Gardening, and/or Riding skill

Adopt 2 strays (horse, dog or cat)

Marry your helper on the farm or Marry a townie that loves the outdoors/animal lover trait

Wake up in the early hours of the day

Have a big family cause free child labor

Raise a horse from baby to elder 

Optional: Own a cow plant 

Optional: Win the highest horse competition (racing or jumping)

5. He was #1

You’ve always had an interest in the outdoors but sports was your passion and you’re very good at it. So good, you were being scouted by agents who hoped to take you to the pros and have your name chanted by the thousands. Your dream did come true but another did not. You’re a closeted hopeless romantic who always wished to find their soulmate and have a family, but being a professional athlete with a recognizable face has made it difficult for you to find true authentic love. What will it take for you to find love and will you have to choose between your two greatest loves or can they both coexist together for your sake.

Objectives:

Enjoy your outdoor activities (playing ball, going to the pool, camping, etc) once a week

Find love through online dating 

Go on 3 dates with a person before committing 

Host a big wedding party and bachelor/bachelorette party and if possible, ask your partners parents for their blessing

Master the Athletic skill

Become a stay at home parent when you reach level 6  of the sports career

After a sports injury that takes you out of the field. You find yourself recovering and unemployed and decide to take care of your children while deciding your next move. 

You realize you want to be a sports agent so you go back to college as an adult and get your physical education degree 

Reach level 10 of Jock social group. 

Join the Sports Agent career

Gain the Eternally Faithful Moodlet

6. You Blinded Me with Science:

Curiosity killed the cat or in your case it just made you curiouser. You couldn’t keep your hands still and always have to be tinkering with something. So much so that you lost your beloved job at the science lab because you kept goofing around with some scrap from the town’s junkyard during company hours. No worries, you just decided to go all in with being a self made inventor and creating gizmos and gadgets the world has never seen before. Except one day, you find a mysterious device you’ve never seen before and upon activating it, you end up in the future. There are alot more prettier machines than the ones you’ve been messing around with and you sorta take one home with you. Oh well what’s the worst that can happen. 

Objectives:

Start out in the Science career but get fired after reaching lvl 3 in inventing and join the Inventor self employed career 

You spend your weekends messing around in the town's junkyard and blowing stuff up for your experiments. The neighbors even catch you dumpster diving around town 

Marry someone just as eccentric and quirky as you (ex: eccentric, neurotic, insane, socially awkward, slob, etc)

Master the handiness and inventing skills

Create all inventions, including a simbot

Make some of your children through the Time Machine (past: child - YA/ future: elder, you can age down if you wish) 

All your children’s traits have to be randomized

Optional: Go into the future and obtain all the gadgets to bring them back home to the present 

Optional: You even bring back home a plumbot and learn how to take care of one

Optional: Leave the Inventor career and present and work in the Astronomy career in the future.

7. Who You Gonna Call?

This generation can be played in two different ways. The choice is up to you. (Also double heirs can be accepted for this gen)

Super Skeptic Route:

The question you’ve always asked yourself was “Are Ghosts Real?” You believed in the supernatural, the horror stories, and the abduction of Bella Goth and was hoping to find evidence in the graveyards. But alas you could never find your ghosts and your dreams were crushed. Now as an adult, you’ve become a skeptic and believe it all to be a charade and try to speak sense into the “sheep” around you to see the light. Until one day you do encounter a ghost and for the last time, you investigate into the question, “Are Ghosts Real?”.

Objectives:

Work in a graveyard in your teen years

Have the Supernatural Skeptic trait. 

You dabble in Alchemy but it never takes effect on you. 

Join the Con Artist branch of the Fortune Teller career

Encounter 3 ghosts to convince you that ghosts are real

Leave the Fortune Teller career to become a Ghost Hunter

You convince Ghosts to move on/ Set them free rather than have them experiment on by the science lab (avoid opportunities that say otherwise) 

Do all investigations (spirit invasion, paranormal investigation, poltergeist haunting, ghostly presence, angry ghost invasion)

Ultra Fan Route:

As a child, you always found yourself interested in what couldn’t be reasoned or argued against, the supernatural. You obsessed over horror stories, wandered into graveyards, deep subreddits of conspiracies behind Bella Goth’s abduction and studied too many ways to become one. You started to give up hope of ever becoming one. Until one day you befriend a fellow occult member of society and it changed your life forever.

Objectives:

Work in a graveyard in your teen years

Have the Supernatural Fan trait

Master the Alchemy skill

Start a side hustle of being an author writing primarily in the horror genre

Publish 15 horror books

Join the Mystic branch of the Fortune Teller career

Befriend a supernatural of your choice to be turned into

Get 1st place at Trivia night at the Vault of Antiquity

8. Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Being a doctor was something you always thought you wanted to be. It came with status, notoriety, respect, money, student loans, and it was something more stable than what your parents were able to give you. You worked hard and got into the Medical career where you met your spouse and lived in a beautiful home with your two kids and pet. It’s like everything worked out in the end. But your desire to see the world burn just keeps rearing its ugly head and you can no longer contain the person you thought you repressed for so long. It desires the status and respect you’ve obtained but also infamy, underlings, and power.

Objectives:

Have the Evil trait

As a teen, be a straight A student, work a part time job, and be best friends with your parents, enemies with your siblings (if applicable)

Choose to go to college on full scholarship or enter the Medical career immediately. 

Marry a fellow coworker whose as ambitious or hardworking as you

Live in a nice home with a white picket fence, 2 kids and a pet of your choice

Befriend some townies who work in the Criminal career

Donate to criminal organizations at least once a week

Leave your job in the Medical career in your adult years

Join the Criminal career

Choose the Evil branch of the Criminal career and reach the top

Optional: Divorce your spouse, find a new home, bring the kids (or don’t) and marry your criminal coworker.

9. Baywatch

You used to work in law enforcement until the red tape got to you and so you went to become a private investigator. Solving crimes and digging through trash got exhausting and difficult as you try to serve others yet the system kept letting you down. After having a midlife crisis, You’ve come to realize that helping people can be simple, enjoyable, and have a great ocean view. Being a lifeguard wasn’t in the career plan but saving lives from the depths of the oceans and looking good in red too. Not a bad career change.  

Objectives:

Join the law enforcement career

Become friends with/date your cop partner 

When reaching level 5 of the career, you leave your job to go into the Investigative career to get away from the red tape 

Continue being an investigator until your Adult years

Have a midlife crisis and complete all the wishes or go get therapy at the hospital

At the end of your crisis, you join the Lifeguard career

Find an island or befriend a mermaid  

Master the scuba diving skill and logic skills

10. Master of None

Oh the journey you have been on. From caring about the music to fighting robbers in people’s homes, you’ve been through it all. As you worked hard for what you wanted, You have reached this crossroad and wonder what it all means and what it meant before. Maybe discovering yourself is what the journey is all about or maybe it's the experiences that shape you that gives you your form. Regardless, you’ve been feeling torn about what to do now and with no destination, maybe you start to express who you truly are. Who knows. There is no rush in the process or a destination in sight, only the curiosity that keeps your soul wandering on the journey.  

Objectives:

Join at least 5 different careers you haven’t played in this challenge (Education, Magician, Firefighter, Stylist, etc)

Have 3 best friends you maintain until Elder

Start dabbling in painting or sculpting in your free time outside of work. 

Meet the love of your life 

Be apart of your community - take opportunities that involve helping your neighbors/fellow townies

Pamper yourself -  go to a place in town for some you time once a week

Learn a new skill once a week (you don’t have to master it) 

If applicable, befriend your grandchildren 

Optional: turn your hobby into your job 

Thank you for playing. Feedback is welcomed

[lady-raziel]

long reaction to the update

ok. so they put out an update video! since i've been commentating for the last three days i might as well subject you all to more of my thoughts today.

main takeaway: this was a good apology video. i mean it. short and to the point, no overproduction, heartfelt and honest (and not a ukelele to be seen. thank god.) they took ownership of the situation, apologized, and restated how much they value their relationship with the fandom.

their solution is to make the watcher tv platform into kind of an iteration of patreon where content is available for early access before it is released onto youtube later. this is clearly a better option than paywalling everything for everyone. i'm not sure what the relative breakdown of costs turns out to be when you compare how much they were making on patreon after the platform took their cut VS how much it costs in overhead to run and maintain their own platform (how much it costs annually to contract via Vimeo, essentially). but i'm sure that's part of the calculation.

all things considered, that does seem like the best option out of all the alternatives. it allows them to not completely abandon any of the pans they have simmering over the fire for the time being. i don't think i ever thought they were going to just say "oops, forget about the streaming thing! let's pretend that never happened!" because at this point they've invested quite a lot of time and money into it, and i don't disagree that keeping it in some iteration may help them make up some of the funds they're lacking.

i would say, it's fine to keep the streamer. this is one of the ok outcomes, all things considered-- but if they're going to do it, they've GOT to do it smart from this point forward. listen to both the fans and the consultants intimately. both are going to have valid points, and both are going to be right. listening to too much of either side will sink this thing because each has motives and expertise that the other doesn't. if the fans say $6 is too much, listen to them-- but have conversations with business consultants about how much you realistically need to charge to make things work.

also, i'd use this whole situation as a learning experience. watcher is a young company, and it's literally inevitable that mistakes will happen. what's different is that the watcher crew haven't really been in a position before where they've been on the receiving end of the internet-angry-justice-hammer to this extent. it's one thing to watch it happen to others, but it's a position of extreme privilege (and a bit of hubris) to think "but that won't happen to me, because i'm built different." naw, man-- two things in life are inevitable: death and fuckups. the callout posts get us all in the end.

what's really important is that they use this as a wakeup call that even the most loyal fandoms will only follow you so far to the cliff's edge, and you don't want to push that. you have to strike a balance between the passion projects that you think are worthy and the stuff that maybe doesn't excite you as much anymore but the people want to see. a little fanservice keeps the lights on, as unfair as that might seem. i'm gonna make 50 markiplier choccy milk memes just so i can make one niche political joke once and a while for 6 likes. it is what it is.

i'd also use this as a chance to take a very careful look at company structure and finances. it's not fun to do and nobody likes it. trust me-- this is hard whether you're a single adult trying to pay the bills or the freaking US government (speaking from experience on both-- i have to read the president's budget for work frequently). but you all have to ask hard questions about the ratio of creative staff you take on VS staff for administrative and other business roles, as well as the costs and benefits of everything you spend money on. how many staff members are essential to location shoots? can this video be shot with 2 cameras instead of 3 and thus you don't need another cameraperson? you might even have to come to the decision that instead of pitching a new show it makes more sense to use those funds to hire your essential non-creative roles or contract firms or freelancers.

paying staff a fair wage with benefits speaks highly of what watcher wants their values to be. it's hard to find such a position in a creative role and still actually get to work on things you care about. but it would be much worse if watcher didn't make realistic decisions about finances and it lead to the death of the company and everyone losing their jobs. the whole watcher company can work, in my opinion, but not without some sacrifices. they're going to have to run it more like a business and less like a youtube-channel-turned-business in the future if they want to survive.

last thing i'll add is that while i do think this was a good apology video, i still think they hurt themselves by not putting out some sort of statement on Friday or Saturday just to say that they were formulating a response. As i've said in other posts, it's ok and in fact beneficial to not make a kneejerk reaction, but it's also very important to communicate that you SEE what's happening. you SEE what people are saying and THAT'S why you need more time to respond. saying nothing and leaving the angry public to wonder if you dropped your phone off the Hoover Dam or just don't care? that's a fumble. it's a common mistake companies make in a crisis, but that doesn't mean it doesn't erode trust fast.

this could have been handled better in many ways. we see that, and i'm glad watcher says they see that too. crucial going forward is taking all this and patching the errors that caused all this to fall apart and learning from the experience.

tbh at this point what i'm most sad about is that the watcher crew have probably been too stressed out and upset to appreciate some of the absolute bangers people have been laying down to clown on them. i think if it wasn't about them they might be touched by the collective attitude and creative spirit. /j

[strniohoeee]

Labyrinth

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female reader

Synopsis: A numb and addicted y/n can’t seem to understand why her life suddenly feels different. She’s done nothing but move around in her adult years, so why is it now that she feels she can’t pack up and leave anytime soon?

Warnings⚠️: I haven’t written in over a month, so I’m super rusty this might be shitty! Cigarette smoking and mentions, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol. I don’t condone smoking or drinking (underage).🖤

Song for imagine: Cigarettes and Coffee- Otis Redding

Its early in the morning

About a quarter ‘til three

I’m sittin here talking with my baby

Over cigarettes and coffee

I was never one to deal with stress easily which led me to deal with it in the worst ways possible. Drinking, smoking, quitting jobs on the spot and even packing up and leaving places…..I know stupid and risky, but I never had that anchor in my life to tell me everything was going to be okay.

If I felt stressed and useless my things were packed and I was on the road to a new state. I think I was on state number 7 in about a year and a half. Who the fuck in their right mind handles stress this way? That was the million dollar question, and I had the answer…. I wasn’t in my right mind…not in the past, not in the present and undoubtedly not in the future.

After my last breakdown I landed in California precisely in Los Angeles, the city of angels. Where all your dreams and aspirations could come true. It just felt like lost paradise to me, but it’s the longest state I’ve ever stood in. For some reason I couldn’t find the power in me to leave when I got stressed. It was as if I had some unforeseen future here….a future of happiness and hope?

But the stress still gnawed at me. Will I ever have a career, will I ever be truly happy, will my parents be proud of me?How am I going to pay for next month's rent?How am I going to pay for next week's groceries?

It was a constant battle and I never severely suffered because I always found a way, but once all that was taken care of the immediate panic started again about how will I be able to do it all in the following weeks.

I started smoking constantly and it was weird because I wasn’t a smoker but I knew I should drink a little less. I only lit a cigarette when the stress was so bad I refused to drink anymore. Not like smoking was any better ruining my lungs rather than my liver….

But the problem was it went from one to two a day to five and on really bad days even up to eight. It was a bad crutch I simply couldn’t pull away from. They were my training wheels and I was so scared that once I let go I’d crash and burn.

I had an addiction and I had no one around me to slap me out of it. Of course I still spoke to my parents, but I just lied about it. I mean there’s truly no one to blame but myself, however all that regret left my mind once a lighter was in my hand and I took a long drag while the cool night breeze brushed against my skin.

I was lucky enough to have found a job almost instantly. It was a cute little coffee shop that had a small selection of books. It was a peaceful and slow paced job. We only really needed two to three people working. So I’d open at 8am and waited for the next girl to clock in at about 11am.

It was a fun job that paid the bills and my horrendous cigarette addiction. I had found a decent studio apartment nearby. But I was always convinced that this would be snatched from under my feet and I should never get comfortable. As you can expect this led to my extreme stress and anxiety.

I didn’t necessarily have friends here, I mean yes I was cool with my coworkers and boss; but we weren’t friends. It was more of a hi, bye situation. It didn’t bother me much. I was always a loner. I never really found people who got me, so I stayed with the only person who did…me.

On my days off I spent a lot of time walking around flea markets, heading into other cafes and even writing. I’d always hoped that one day I’d be a writer. My mind was always running and I figured someone out there might actually relate to and enjoy the words I’d write on a piece of paper.

Today I was actually working a small shift from 8am to 1pm. I was staring blankly at my reflection in the bathroom. Scrubbing my hands and gargling mouthwash. It was 11am and I was coming back from my break.

Spitting the mouthwash into the sink I closed the cap and stuffed the travel size bottle into my purse. Inhaling deeply I looked at myself once again.

“You have got to stop smoking” I replied in a mumble

Slipping my hand blindly into my purse I pulled out my perfume; spritzing myself before shutting the light and heading into the break room to place my purse back.

Slipping my apron on my coworker walked in, clocking in the back as she offered me a smile

“Good morning Y/N” she said as she walked towards me to place her things down

“Good morning K” I stated as I offered a smile back and began to make my way to clock back in

I wasn’t sure why her name was K, it was all over her employee paperwork. She was here before me, so I felt I had no right to ask her for her real name. But it was interesting for someone to just drop the rest of their name and solely go by a singular letter.

After punching back in I walked to the front, not a surprise it was dead. The only people lingering around were the 8am-9am crew. Sighing deeply I decided to clean up a bit.

It was about 12pm now and I was watching the clock anxiously waiting to clock out and run free. Usually I worked 8-4 and sometimes even 8-6. I had a whole day ahead of me and two days off might I add. I felt pretty invincible

Drinking from my water cup the door chimed signaling a customer. Placing the cup down I began to turn around.

“Hi welcome to Mugs” I stated as I turned around

Immediately I was intrigued. I have never seen someone as interesting before. I mean it is LA, so I have seen some interesting stuff; but no he looked different…. And for some reason I couldn’t really look away

Placing his vision glasses on top of his head he squinted his eyes to read the menu. My eyebrow raising.

“You know glasses are meant for you to see things” I said logging into the register as I looked up at him

“I’m sorry?” He said looking at me

“You um…. You put your glasses on your head and then squinted to read” I said pointing above me at the board

“Oh… well these are just blue light glasses. I genuinely can’t really see” he said in an awkward way

“Ohhh well uhh want me to read the menu to you?” I asked laughing a bit

“Oh no it’s fine, I’m not really a coffee drinker” he stated looking at our pastry display

“You do realize you’re in a Coffee shop?” I said jokingly

His mouth opened a bit and then he squinted his eyes

“I am now seeing how ridiculous I look” he said chuckling and shaking his head

“No judgment here” I said sticking my hands up in defense

“I won’t waste your time any more! Can I have a chocolate chip cookie and that bottle of Pepsi” he said pointing behind me at the small fridge

“One Pepsi and one cookie, coming right up” I said checking him out on the screen

Grabbing the cookie and bottle of soda I placed it on the counter and slid it towards him.

“You can tap or insert your card whenever you’re ready” I stated clicking some buttons on my screen

“I’m uhh actually paying cash” he said fishing in his wallet

“Woahhh cash in this century?” I said giggling and fixing the system

“Yeahh I carry a little bit of cash and little bit of card” he said shrugging his shoulders

“A little bit of card….hmm…that’s funny” I said giggling a bit at him

“Well you know what I mean” he says playfully rolling his eyes

“I’m just messing with you” I said shaking my head

Smiling he handed the cash over and grabbed his items

“Keep the change” he said waving with his hand and nodding his head

Walking out the door I couldn’t seem to understand why I had a stupid smile on my face. Putting the cash in the till and placing the change in our tip jar.

Turning around I was met with my two coworkers staring at me with a smirk on their face. I’d never been the spotlight of attention and I’ve never gotten anything other than a good morning from either of them. So my face dropped and I got self conscious

“What?” I said a bit scared as I straightened my posture

“He was totally into you” K stated as she placed the rack of cookies down

“Was not! We were just making friendly conversations” I said opening the pastry shelf and putting some cookies in

“No no I agree with K we’ve had a lot of guys come in here, but this is the first time I’ve seen a guy like utter more than two words to you and he was totally geeking out” Delilah stated

“Totally! That kid was blushing like crazyyy” K stated as she grabbed the now empty tray and began to walk back towards the kitchen

“Guys come on! It was just friendly banter” I said shutting the pastry door

“Delilah knows her shit too, that’s how Danny and I got together” K stated from the kitchen

“Shut up! No way” I said rolling my eyes

“Sure did! As soon as we had an interaction K told me he’d be back for my number, and that was three years ago” K replied

“You just got lucky this was nothing but mere coincidence” I replied back to them

“You’ll see girl” Delilah stated as she began to make herself a coffee

Playfully rolling my eyes I checked the clock, I had about 10 minutes till my shift was over. I decided to make myself a drink.

As I made my iced latte I began to wonder. I didn’t really have many interactions with guys, but I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.

It just felt like a friendly banter with an awkwardly shy….nerdy guy. Laughing to myself I finished making my drink.

“Alright girls I’m going to clock out now” I stated as I walked to the back

Punching out and grabbing my things I slid my apron off and grabbed my drink. Heading towards the front of the cafe

I waved bye to the girls as I took a sip.

“Have a good day girls” I said as I walked out

I had the whole day ahead of me and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. My job was near a pier where I could always sit down and watch people.

Before heading to the pier I decided to stop for some food. Heading into a small restaurant I sat down. Taking my book out of my purse I began to write. I hadn’t written in two weeks and it felt wrong.

Ghosting my hand over the paper, my mind just kept going blank. I couldn’t form a proper sentence and my mind began to race again. Thinking back on that boy I began to think about my love life.

Honestly I didn’t really have one, I was more of a hopeless romantic. Often watching rom coms and rolling my eyes at how unrealistic that love was. I’m sure it was tangible, but I was just a sour puss.

I longed for a relationship like that to always know you’ll have someone there for you loving you unconditionally. To be with someone through sickness and in health. I was only 22, but it seemed to me that everyone around me already had that amazing soulmate. I was very clearly late to the game and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find someone to love. I wasn’t even sure I was lovable myself.

Then again I never put myself out there, but times have changed. It's not that easy. Guys have become so shitty and all they care about it sex. But it’s like what about getting to know the person deep down.

Not once has a guy ever asked me my dreams and aspirations, where do I see myself in five years? What are my biggest goals in life? What’s my biggest fear….. I lost all hope for love by the time I was 18.

Reading romantic stories and watching these shows and movies definitely added salt to the wound.

I hadn’t realized how much I was writing till my hand began to cramp. Looking up I realized it was no longer daytime.

“Shit” I muttered under my breath

Slamming my book shut I paid my bill and began to gather my things. Walking out of the restaurant I stepped out onto the golden street. It was about 5:45 and I really couldn’t understand how that much time had passed.

I think that’s why I enjoy writing the most, I’m so far gone in my own world it’s like I’m frozen and the world around me continues to move.

Walking towards the pier it was surprisingly empty at this time. Breathing in the salty air I sat down on a bench. Watching the ocean I let the breeze blow through my hair.

Digging in my purse I pulled out my pack of American Spirits. Sighing deeply I pulled a cigarette out. As soon as I grabbed my lighter all the regret washed away from me.

Placing the white object in between my lips I flicked the lighter a few times before a glowing flame appeared before me. Guarding the flame from the wind I brought it closer.

Inhaling as I lit the cigarette all my worries washed away. This was only my second cigarette of the day and I somehow felt accomplished.

Kicking the gravel underneath me I took a long drag, exhaling I got up. Walking over to the edge of the pier I decided to sit down allowing my legs to hang off the edge.

I wasn’t 100% sure I could do this, but it’s worth a shot I thought to myself. Leaning my chin on the railing I took another drag as I stared into the sunset.

Life was so beautiful and I wasn’t sure why I was so sad and numb all the time. I took a lot for granted and I hated it.

I really needed to stop smoking.

“You know those things will kill you” I heard from behind me

My brows began to furrow as I took a drag

“I’m sorry?” I said annoyed as I looked behind me, blowing the smoke out through my nose as my face dropped

“You shouldn’t smoke” he said again with a cheeky smile on his face

Meeting eyes with the same guy from the cafe made my heart skip a beat and my throat go dry.

“Squinting your eyes is also bad for you” I said putting the cigarette out

“Won’t kill me though” he said shrugging his shoulders

“You never know” I said shrugging my shoulders and standing up

His eyes followed me as I got up and it was only then did I feel super self conscious about this whole situation. My embarrassment turned a bit into anger.

“Anyways you drink Pepsi, so that for sure will kill you” I said as I dusted my pants off

“Guess we’ll both be dead then” he replied

“Wow you’re super blunt” I said scoffing

“Sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude. I was just playfully teasing” he said looking nervous

Looking at him for a split second and I sniffed and then rolled my eyes

“It’s fine. It’s a bad habit anyways” I replied shrugging my shoulders

“We all have bad habits we’re not proud of” he said in a whisper

“Are you uhh following me?” I asked him cocking an eyebrow

“What? No oh my god no! I was just walking and I thought you looked super familiar” he replied putting his hands up in defense

“I’m just teasing you” I said giggling

“I’m Matt” he replied placing his hand out for me to shake

“I’m Y/N” I stated as I shook his hand

“It’s nice to formally meet you” he said awkwardly

“Yeah” I replied awkwardly

“I’ll uh… ill let you go on about your business. Maybe I’ll see you around” He said

“Well you know where to find me” I said smiling at him

Opening my bag I was digging around for my phone before successfully pulling it out.

“Right, well have a good evening” he said and waved shyly

“I’ll see you round Matt” I replied

Going our separate ways I looked down at my phone, 6:55pm…. Sighing, I walked back to my car close to the cafe and drove home.

Shuffling up the stairs I pushed my apartment door open after unlocking it. Making note that I must call the maintenance guy because that door needs some WD40 badly.

Locking the door I turned my lights on. Today just felt strange like I couldn’t put my finger in exactly what the fuck was going on.

Walking over to my patio I opened the sliding door and stepped out. Taking in the evening breeze my mind just went blank.

Stepping back inside I grabbed my purse, grabbing my lighter I shuffled my hand around my purse to feel for my pack of cigarettes. But my brows furrowed when I didn’t feel the square container.

Walking over towards the light I opened my bag more and looked inside. An annoyed feeling washed over me as I couldn’t find the box. I mean honestly good because I did not need anymore.

Still searching as if the box was going to magically appear. I groaned soon realizing I must’ve left them on the bench and they are for a fact long gone by now.

Throwing my lighter back into my purse I groaned and sat on my couch. The one time I desperately need a cigarette I fucking left it on the pier.

I cut that night short with a 80s movie marathon and left over pizza as a midnight snack.

remembering that tomorrow I had to stop into the cafe to pick up my paycheck. We’re living in a very digital world right now and my job still does paper checks….

Groaning at that I decided to call it a night….

The End

Okayyy IVE BEEN GONE FOR SOOO FUCKING LONG. And I’m sooo sorry it’s just life has been so crazy since March! However this was the end of part 1….stay tuned for more🥺🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

TAKE CARE OF YOU [2]

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)

Chapter Word Count: 7,029

Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

[a/n: i am having too much fun with this, my mind is going wild]

02: HE'S LOADED, BABE

"take a chance. risk everything. be honest. jump. go for it. be all in. why not. or why do anything at all." -jacob holguin

For the first time, maybe ever, you were the one with the insane story to share with Nima. You were actually kind of excited. When you texted her, she said she was still in the office and she told you to swing by because she wasn’t too busy. This wasn’t the first time you had been to her office, but you found it amusing every single time. The rest of the floor had the button down kind of look one would expect of a workplace, but Nima’s little corner was decorated in bright colors. It was a testament to her skill really. If you were indispensable then you could push boundaries.

“Hey!” Nima bounced when she saw you walking toward her office. You stepped in and dropped onto the couch she had pushed up against the wall. “I’m so glad you’re here. I have the craziest story.” Nima was rushing around the room putting away papers and blueprints. Her space was always poorly organized in your opinion, but according to her everything had its place. “It involves a loose chicken, a gallon of paint, and that asshole from the third floor I was telling you about.”

Unable to hold it in, you blurted it out. “I got asked to be a sugar baby.”

Nima blinked for a moment, dazed, then screeched in shock as she threw herself down onto the couch beside you. “Holy shit, what?? And you let me waste time talking about the chicken?” You did want to eventually hear about that. “Tell me everything.”

“You remember that guy I bought a coffee for like two weeks back?”

“Yes!” Nima gasped and you nodded. “Oh my God! I told you I felt sparks.” She paused. “Wait, can he afford to be a sugar daddy? He looked like a homeless cowboy when we saw him.”

You pointed to her. “So, are you thinking ‘cowboy’ too? Because I have been going back and forth between that and lumberjack, but I haven’t⏤”

“If you don’t give me more details right now...”

“Sorry.” You chuckled. You gave her the shorthand version of how he had been visiting you at the bakery and how it ended with him offering to ‘take care of you’ this afternoon. Nima just stared, mouth agape, the entire time. You finished by telling her that he had asked you to meet him this weekend. “So… yeah. Yeah.” You shot her a sheepish smile and just repeated yourself. “Yeah.”

Nima clapped her hands, excited, but you watched as she steeled her features. She shifted so she faced you entirely on the couch. “Wait. You’re always the voice of logic when I get myself into something insane. My turn.” She cleared her throat. “Are you sure you’re willing to basically fuck a stranger for all this? That’s not you.”

You twisted your lips at her words. Was it so out of the question for you to go out on a limb and put yourself out there? Granted, jumping from the vanilla lifestyle you lived to having sex with someone so they’d pay your bills was like going from 0 to 120 in a racecar⏤ or rocket.

As if Nima could see your inner turmoil, she pointed at you. “No, no. Don’t misunderstand. It’s not that I think you aren’t capable of making that decision and going for it. However, up until now you’ve been the serious relationship kind, and your last relationship was almost six months ago.” True. “Plus, you like monogamy. There is no guarantee that would occur here. What if he has multiple sugar babies? And⏤”

“It doesn't matter.” You blurted. You realized then that maybe you weren’t prepared to consider all those angles. You still hadn’t even gone on another date since your last boyfriend. “He doesn’t want sex.” Nima tilted her head in confusion. “The deal is he ‘takes care of me’ and I offer him platonic companionship. Be his date at some of his work functions⏤ no strings attached.”

Nima scoffed. “Girl, then what the fuck are you waiting for?? Say yes right now!”

“Well,” You laughed, “There’s a lot to consider.”

“No. The only thing to consider was sex and if that is off the table? Done.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Somehow, I don’t think a sugar baby and sugar daddy contract is⏤ Jesus, I can’t believe I’m saying these words.” You blew out a breath. “Anyways, I don’t think it’s that simple.”

Nima paused in thought. Her fingers drummed against her thigh for a few seconds before her face lit up with a bright smile. “We’re going out to dinner.” Nima jumped up to grab her phone and dialed a number. “My cousin has a friend who has a sister who knows all about this stuff.”

You mentally tried to follow the line of relation that Nima drew out, but you didn’t have the time to question her before she started talking on the phone in Korean. There was no telling what your evening would have in store, Nima knew an odd collection of people, but you assume anything would be helpful right now.

The restaurant you and Nima traveled to in order to meet this mystery woman was the definition of upper class. It was the kind of place you wouldn’t even stop outside of in fear that they’d call the cops on you for loitering. You especially didn’t feel prepared to walk in right now in your work clothes⏤ simple jeans and a plain shirt. At least the apron was removable. When you walked in you were fairly certain the man working as the host was going to throw you out. However, all it took was name dropping the person you were supposed to meet and the host led you back. He gave both of you disgusted looks the entire time, but he still took you back.

As he turned to leave, Nima flipped him off from behind and you quickly grabbed her arm to bring it down. You hissed at her. “We’re already on thin ice.” The table was in a private room. “Who is this?”

“Rosalind Turby.”

“Yeah, you’ve already told me the name, but who is this Rosalind lady?”

Nima shrugged. “All I know is her sister owes my cousin a favor so we’re cashing that shit in.”

You shrugged and the two of you entered the private room. It was elegantly decorated with florals and crystals. An odd combination in your opinion. The table in the middle of the room was covered in a white tablecloth set for three. A beautiful woman sat there on her phone, but she peered up at your entrance and a brilliant smile filled her features.

She stood up, “Hello, girlies!” Rosalind motioned for the two of you to join her. She was probably in her mid to late thirties if you had to guess. Her blonde hair was nearly platinum and fell past her shoulders in beautiful, perfect curls. Right now she had on a tight light blue dress with jewelry dripping from her neck and wrists⏤ all diamonds. Were those real?? She didn’t seem to bat an eye at the clothes you and Nima were wearing. “It’s so lovely to meet you two. I’m Rosalind.”

You both introduced yourselves before sitting down. Nima was quick to grab the wine bottle sitting on the table and began to pour. You resisted the urge to nudge her with your elbow. Rosalind rang a little silver bell sitting on the table and you nearly laughed at the sight of it until a waiter swept in. She ordered something for the group. At least that’s what you assumed based on the way she motioned to the table. It was hard to say considering she was speaking French.

Rosalind finished and focused back on you and Nima who were just staring at her in shock. She laced her fingers together and leaned forward. “So, I hear one of you girls is thinking of becoming a sugar baby.” Nima immediately pointed at you and you sheepishly raised a hand. “That’s so cute. What makes you want to branch into my world?”

“Oh.” You blinked. “You were⏤ are a sugar baby?”

Rosalind nodded and flipped some hair over her shoulder. “Have been since I was 23.”

“Holy shit.” Nima hissed at you. “Is this gonna be your life?”

You lightly smacked her thigh with the back of your hand. No. Of course not. This wasn’t⏤ Nah. Well… Was this going to be your life if you said yes? You couldn’t picture yourself sitting where Rosalind was right now. She had an air of natural elegance. There was no way a restaurant host ever shot her bad looks. 

Rosalind chuckled. “Well?”

“Uh,” You had briefly forgotten her question, “I’m not sure. A man…propositioned me and I have a couple days before he expects an answer from me.”

“You must be thinking it over seriously to involve me.”

“I hope we’re not bothering you.” You blurted. “We’re strangers but⏤”

Rosalind waved her hand with a laugh that reminded you of tinkling bells. Where had this woman come from? Was she made in some ‘perfect woman’ factory? She shook her head. “Please. I’m always eager to help the new girls enter this world of ours. We’re a tight knit group.”

“Really? There’s a community of… sugar babies?”

“Why of course!” Rosalind scoffed playfully. “We have to look out for one another after all.” She reached across the table to squeeze your hand. “So ask me all the questions you might have, sweetie.”

You glanced at Nima who just shrugged before tossing back the rest of her wine. “Um,” You smiled at Rosalind, “Have you had the same…uh, the same⏤”

“Daddy?” Rosalind chuckled and your cheeks burned. “You’re going to need to be comfortable calling him ‘daddy’. There’s no shame in it.” She shook her head. “And no. I’ve had seven so far.” Seven? It sounded like this woman had made an actual career of this lifestyle. That was impressive. Maybe she was the perfect person to ask questions to. “That’s a conversation for another day though. Let’s just focus on your first daddy.”

You chuckled, “Yeah, right. Well, how does it…work? He just said he wants to take care of me and that seems…vague.”

“It’s subjective usually.” Rosalind began. Waiters came in with trays of food and Nima rubbed her hands together in excitement. “If your contract with him is the basic kind then he pays for you to live. Rent, bills, expenses. Not to mention toys and gifts and all the fun kind of goodies.” She scrunched her nose like she was sharing an exciting secret. “And in return, you give him your lovely company.”

You knew exactly what she meant by company.

“You said contract?”

Rosalind nodded. “If your daddy truly has the kind of funds to really take care of you then he’ll push for a contract. This is your opportunity to set firm boundaries. The last thing you’d want is for him to get a piece of you just to toss you aside. Or worse, you get used to this kind of lifestyle just for him to suddenly change his terms and hang it over your head.” She sighed. “I’ve truly heard all the horror stories.”

“Horror stories?”

“Yes. This kind of relationship is built on trust, but not all those who get involved are deserving. You need to make sure the daddy trying to buy you isn’t going to take advantage or hurt you.” You winced both at the idea of being abused and the wording of her statement. Is that what this was? You were being bought? If she noticed your discomfort she didn’t mention it. Rosalind took a sip of her own wine. “How long have you known your daddy⏤”

“He’s not my daddy.” You blurted. 

“Yet.” Rosalind winked. Your cheeks burned again and you tried to imagine what it’d feel like calling Joel that. Could he even take you seriously? Someone like Rosalind using that phrase sounded tempting and sweet. You, in comparison, were just awkward. “So? How long? And has he mentioned any contract details?”

Nima chimed in, “Like two weeks-ish?” You nodded. “Would he even want a contract? That’s for just the super rich guys, right?”

“Typically.” Rosalind nodded. “Here. What’s his name?” Your eyes widened at the question. “If he’s been a daddy before I’ll know him. As I said, we’re a close knit community. We even keep a track of the men who are black listed. I’ll be able to tell you if he's a danger as well.”

Oh, that was helpful.

“Joel Miller.” You smiled. Rosalind’s smile fell right off her face, jaw popping open, and Nima spat out a mouthful of red wine. It splattered and stained the white tablecloth. Your eyes darted between them as they just stared at you. “What?”

“You never told me Mr. Miller wants to be your sugar daddy!” Nima cried.

“You were there the day I met him! And how do you even know him?” You asked.

Nima gaped at you like a fish out of water. “He owns the construction company that hired my office! I’ve never seen him, except in like a few pictures, but Mr. Miller was never wearing flannel in any of those photos. I seriously thought he might be homeless the day we met him.”

“Construction company?” You breathed.

Rosalind cleared her throat before taking a long sip of her wine. Her smile returned, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Wow. I knew Joel Miller was on the market, but I wasn't aware he had chosen someone. And someone brand new for his first one.”

“I’d be his first too?” You asked. The knowledge that this was as new to him as it was to you actually made you feel much better. Maybe that was why he had been so nervous this afternoon. This was the first time he had ever offered that proposition. 

“Yes.”

Nima let out a laugh before shaking your shoulder, “He’s loaded, babe.”

“That’s a good description.” Rosalind chuckled. You were able to ask a few more questions, but about ten minutes later she glanced at her phone and then rose from the table. “I am so sorry, girlies. But I’m needed elsewhere.”

“Oh, well thank you for⏤”

She said your name in a sickly sweet tone while picking up her purse. You didn’t recognize the brand, but you knew it was probably just as expensive as everything else she wore. “I’m only saying this out of concern for you. Being a sugar baby can be very demanding and you seem to be jumping in the deep end.” Your eyes widened. “There’s a reason we all refer to Joel Miller as the ‘white whale’. He’s the dream daddy, but typically men with those kinds of means want the most. I’d hate to see you get hurt.”

“Thank…you?”

“Absolutely, sweetie.” She blew you and Nima a kiss before heading for the door. “So nice to meet you two!”

 Nima and you just watched her leave before turning to one another. You furrowed your brow. “That was kind of weird, wasn’t it? I thought it was going good, but…”

“I think she was jealous.” Nima replied. You rolled your eyes. “No, seriously.”

“Did you see her? The Rosalinds of the world do not get jealous over people like me.”

Nima scoffed. She motioned to you with her wine glass, “First of all, you’re a fucking catch. I’ve been telling you that for years and now you have proof beyond my genius because Joel Miller wants you to call him daddy.”

“That’s still weird to hear…”

“And secondly,” Nima continued on, “That warning she gave? That was a ‘I don’t want you to go through with this because I wish it were me instead’ kind of warning.” You leaned your head to rest it on the top of the chair’s back. As weird as this meeting had gone, it had been helpful. You learned a lot of things. “So? Are you gonna meet up with him?”

You blew out a sigh, “I’m still not sure.”

“Here.” Nima spun in her seat to face you. “Yes or no only. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like Joel Miller?”

 He was fun to talk to. You enjoyed the moments you got with him in the bakery. So, technically, you did. “Yes.”

“Do you think Joel Miller would physically hurt you if you just met up with him on Saturday?”

You never got that vibe from him before and if you met him in a public setting he wouldn’t be much of a danger to you. “No.”

“Do you want to explore this possibility a little further?”

“Yes.”

The answer came out easily enough. You weren’t ready to give a firm ‘no’ quite yet which almost felt odd. You weren’t used to relying on others for your needs. The idea of taking your hands off the wheel and letting someone else take control was daunting. However, the idea of not having to stress over bills or rent or finding a second job you didn’t love just to get by was very, very tempting. God, you just wanted a break.

“I think that’s your answer.” Nima shrugged. “Meet up with him on Saturday. You don’t have to necessarily say yes to him just because you met with him. This will just be a mission for further information.”

“Alright. Yeah.” You grinned and picked up your wine glass. “What the hell, right?”

“Exactly!” Nima cheered and the two of you clinked your glasses together before taking long sips. 

You glanced around the room and at the table. “Do you think Rosalind paid for this before she left?”

Nima nodded her head in thought. Then she poured more into her glass and tossed back the large gulp of red wine before she jumped up. “Wanna make a run for it?”

“Absolutely.” You grabbed your stuff and the two of you hurried off.

It took you over an hour to get dressed, and it was embarrassing how many outfit changes you had gone through. You almost googled ‘What to wear when meeting your sugar daddy to discuss terms’, but decided that would just stress you out more. After your dinner with Rosalind you had called Joel, a feat that was painfully nerve wracking for no good reason, and you both planned to meet up at the coffee shop where you had bought him that coffee. A public setting seemed like the best bet for you, and Joel was more than happy to accommodate. You almost suggested the bakery, but considering how empty it was these days you didn’t know if it actually counted as public.

You had shown up early, still not entirely loving the clothes you chose for this event, and now you were nursing a cup of iced coffee⏤ chewing on the straw nervously. The notes app on your phone had a bullet list of points you wanted to bring up, ask about, and you scanned through them for the hundredth time. Every single bullet point was burned in your brain, but you had a feeling the moment you saw Joel it would all disappear. You jumped in surprise when your phone buzzed as a call from Joel came through.

“Shit.” You breathed and watched it ring twice more before answering it. “Hey!”

The greeting left your lips loud and excited and you mentally cursed yourself for blurting it out like that. Jesus Christ you were overthinking this.

“Hey, darlin’.” Joel replied. Somehow his voice sounded even more charming through a phone which you found entirely unfair. “I hate to do this so last minute, but I’m not gonna make it to the coffee shop. A work meeting got outta hand, but…” He grumbled. “That doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

You twisted your lips and found yourself actually disappointed. “Oh. No, that’s alright. It happens. Do you want to reschedule for a different day or⏤”

“What? No.” Joel replied quickly. “This is important. I wanna talk to you about this today. Plus, I’d hate for you to get cold feet.” You chuckled at the irony because you kind of thought he was the one getting cold feet. “Can you meet me at my office? We can stay down in the lobby or courtyard, or in the cafe, so it’s still public.”

“Sure!” You chirped. “Uh, what’s the address? I’ll uber⏤”

Joel actually laughed at the word ‘uber’ and you just smiled more confused than anything else. He spoke up before you could question the joke. “I’m not gonna make you order a ride to my office, darlin’. I’m sending a car.” Your eyes widened. That was a wild sentence to hear out of his mouth, but you supposed that was par for the course. “Are you at the coffee shop right now?”

“Yes.” You glanced around as if you needed to double check. “But are you sure, Joel? You really don’t have to⏤”

“I want to.” Joel said firmly. “I’m, uh, I’m excited to see you.” Your cheeks burned at the admission. “Even if you’re just comin’ to tell me off it’d be a nice break from my day today.” The sigh at the end of his sentence made it clear he was stressed or frustrated about something. “I’m sending my driver now. Should be ten minutes or so.”

“Got it.” You cleared your throat. “I’ll… see you soon then, Joel.”

“See you soon, darlin’.” He chuckled.

You hung up and just stood there for a second. He was sending a car. A car that would take you to his office of the very successful company he owns. One of the plus sides of meeting Joel in the coffee shop was that it’d feel like equal ground. However, you knew this was something you needed to get used to. You had already decided that you would be accepting his proposition as long as nothing crazy happened during this meeting.

You’d be stupid to turn it down, right?

Before you could turn and go wait outside, you paused in thought then made the decision to buy him a cup of coffee. You still remembered what he ordered the last time, and maybe it’d cheer him up a little. This meeting would go better if he was in a good mood rather than stressed about work, you figured. After buying the coffee, you only had to wait outside a minute or two before a very nice black sedan pulled up to the curb. Was that for you?

A man exited the car and came around to open the back door. He made eye contact with you and called out your name. “Oh.” You waved. “Hi, yeah. That’s me.” Obviously, he knew that. You hurried over and climbed into a car with a stranger. The thing every adult told you not to do while growing up. When the driver got back behind the wheel, you spoke up. “Thank you.”

The driver didn’t speak to you during the drive, but you weren’t sure of the etiquette of these things. There were some Uber drivers that hated it when you spoke up to them. Maybe this was the same. The car pulled up to the curb after fighting traffic and you peered out of your window to the large, very impressive building right outside your door. It was at least seven stories, but it was wider than it was tall and built with a steel and glass design. The campus surrounding it was also gorgeous with an expansive courtyard that seemed to roll right into a park next door.

“Holy shit.” You breathed.

You were so distracted by the landscape that you didn’t notice the man in an expensive looking suit approaching the car. It took even longer for you to realize that man was Joel Miller. He reached out to open the door and you sat stunned as he leaned against it

“Hey there, darlin’.” Joel greeted with a small smile. Up until now, you had only seen him in flannels and t-shirts, but by God did this man know how to wear a suit. The one he had on was a dark navy with a clean white button up. If he had on a tie before he had shed it because the top couple buttons were undone. His hair was combed back neatly and though it was still a good look for him, it made you miss his fluffed up, messy curls. His head tilted a bit, amusement filling his dark eyes, “Darlin’?”

It dawned on you that you had yet to speak. Panicked, you held up the drink you had bought for him. “Coffee.”

“Yes. That is.” Joel chuckled. He held a hand out for you to take.

When your hand settled in his, he carefully pulled you out of the car and shut the door behind you. Joel leaned over to nod his head to the driver in thanks before turning back to you. You cleared your throat and held the coffee up once more. “Yours. It’s⏤ I got it for you. It’s the same one as last time.” Joel’s eyes widened in surprise. “You just sounded stressed so I thought coffee might help.”

“Well, ain’t you a sweetheart?” Joel replied with a growing smile. He took the cup from you then shook his head. “You should know this is a one time thing though.” You raised an eyebrow in question. Joel chuckled. “The point of this is,” He motioned between the two of you with the hand holding the cup of coffee, “I’m supposed to be buyin’ you stuff.”

You chewed on your lower lip and tried to find your bearings. “It felt weird coming with nothing to offer you.”

“All I need is your company. Thought I made that clear?” He countered.

“Still.” You shrugged. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Fine. That just means you can’t argue against the things I bought you for this meetin’.

You blinked. “The what?” 

Joel didn’t respond. Instead, he held out one elbow in your direction and after a beat you slipped your arm through his. He led you across the campus and you couldn’t keep yourself from glancing over at him. Joel looked like an entirely different person, but when he spoke he still felt like the man you spoke to over a bakery counter. 

“How’s your day been so far, darlin’?”

“Good! Just, you know, normal.” You were not going to mention that you spent your entire morning just mentally and physically preparing for this meeting. “What about you? You sounded kind of frustrated over the phone.” Joel glanced down at you and you shook your head. “Not that you need to tell me if it’s personal or about your company. Obviously.”

Joel let out a breathy laugh. “Am I makin’ you nervous?”

Not wanting to lie, you scrunched your nose and just blurted out the truth. “A little. I guess I’m not used to seeing you like this and your company building is so fancy and I also think I’m starting to overthink this again. Don’t get me wrong I’m excited to see you, but…” Joel’s small smile remained as he listened to you ramble. “I should shut up now.”

“I’d rather you not.” Joel shrugged. “You have a nice voice.” 

Your face felt warm, a habit around this man you were learning, and he led you into the lobby of the building. It was just as pretty inside as it was outside. Open, filled with natural light, and decorated with glass panels and shades of soft green and blue. Eyes drifted to Joel, but he didn’t seem to pay any attention to it. He walked you up to the second floor where a small cafe-like area sat in the corner by the window giving a view of the park. Even more people seemed to stare as he pulled a chair out for you to sit in before sitting across from you. The other surrounding tables had what looked like workers on their lunch break.

“Anythin’ I can do to make you less nervous?” Joel asked. He took a sip from the coffee you got him. It was funny he asked because this was somehow more intimidating than just walking arm in arm. Now, across from him, you needed to maintain eye contact. 

You hummed and crossed your arms to rest on the table. “Tell me something embarrassing that will humanize you to me.”

“Embarassin’...” Joel hummed in thought. He laced his fingers together and nodded. “In college, I tried to serenade a girl I wanted to date with my guitar but I was under the wrong window and an old woman opened the window to dump a bucket of water on me. Then she called the cops.”

You grinned. “Nice. Except all I heard from that is ‘you are a romantic who can play the guitar’ so that only makes you more attractive and intimidating to me.”

“I’m attractive to you?” Joel smirked.

“I also said ‘intimidating’.” You replied then motioned to yourself. “This exercise was to make you less so and somehow I embarrassed myself even more? That does not seem fair.”

Joel shrugged, “If it makes you feel better I think it’s cute.” A stupid smile slipped onto your features and you shook your head with a small laugh. He leaned forward a bit and furrowed his brow. “I will admit though I have been dyin’ to hear your answer from the other day.” You sucked in a sharp breath. Joel’s lips twitched up once more. “So? Am I a cowboy or a lumberjack?”

Not expecting the question broke out in a laugh of surprise. Admittedly, it put your nerves at ease. You relaxed in your seat with a grin. “I actually do have an answer for you. I think I’ve settled on cowboy.” Joel’s eyebrows raised. “My friend helped me decide. She called you a cowboy too. Although, she also called you homeless.”

Joel chuckled. “Homeless?”

“You looked worse for wear when we first saw you that one day.” You shook your head. “But look at you now! You clean up well, Joel Miller. Owner of Miller Construction Company. Actual multi-millionaire.”

He bobbed his head with a slight wince. Joel rubbed the side of his jaw sheepishly, “I see you did your research.”

“A bit.” You answered. “I actually, uh, met with a…sugar baby.” Joel’s eyes widened and you wondered if it was because it was the first time one of you finally used the term ‘sugar baby’ in conversation or because you had met with one to interview. Maybe both. “I needed to ask her a few questions. You were infamous, by the way.”

“Infamous?”

You let out a small laugh. “Oh, yeah. Apparently every single sugar baby in LA, of which there is a community if you didn't know, wants you as their ‘daddy’.” Joel cleared his throat, shifting in his seat, and you could see a tint of blush across his cheeks. It made your smile widen. “They call you the ‘white whale’.”

“Jesus Christ.” Joel ran a hand through his hair, making it a bit messier which you found you enjoyed seeing, and he blew out a breath. “I told ‘em not to make such a big deal of it.” Amused, you leaned forward and rested your head on a fist making it clear you were waiting for elaboration. Joel chuckled. “I mentioned my… idea to an old friend, and he got me in touch with this group.” He raised an exasperated eyebrow and waved his hand. “Apparently that group. They, uh, they made me go on… dates.”

“Made you?” You teased. “Like at gunpoint?”

Joel shrugged. “May as well have been.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “That day I forgot my wallet? I had just met a bunch of different women who were…interested in being…”

“Your sugar baby?” You grinned.

“You’re enjoyin’ this a little too much.” Joel crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at you. “I think I liked it better when you were ramblin’ ‘bout how handsome I am.”

You held up a finger. “Hold up. I didn’t ramble about how handsome you are. I just said I found you attractive.” Joel smirked and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “And also, when my friend and I saw you that day you were wearing a dirty flannel and old jeans.”

“Yeah. So?”

“So you went on a bunch of dates with women wanting to be your sugar baby, looking like that?”

Joel shrugged. “I was just tryin’ to be real. Hate these damned things.” He readjusted his suit blazer. “I thought it’d be best to show up how I usually look. Find someone who had similar ideals. I also took them to a diner to eat.” You covered your mouth, trying to hide the wide grin you were wearing. Joel shook his head. “What?”

“It’s just… You’re telling me that on all those dates with women who wanted to specifically be your sugar baby,” You said slowly trying to bite back a laugh, “You wanted to find someone who wasn’t in it for the money.”

Joel paused in thought before his face cracked in amusement. His cheeks tinted pink again and he forced his gaze away from yours with an embarrassed wince. “When you say it like that…”

“That’s adorable.” You nodded.

“I think I preferred the word handsome.”

“Never used that one.”

“Attractive then.”

“Nah,” You leaned back in your seat with a shrug, “I think I’ve settled on adorable.”

Joel clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Alright. Guess I’ll take what I can get.” The sound of a phone buzzing cut through the air and you watched as Joel leaned back to pull his cellphone out of his pocket. “One second, darlin’.” He frowned at whatever message he was reading on his screen. It was interesting to watch the lighthearted smile he had been wearing switch to a grumpy frown. He grunted out a sound of irritation before shoving his phone back into his pocket with a shake of his head. When his eyes met yours once more, the frustration melted back into a small smile. “Sorry 'bout that.”

“Don’t worry. You’re a busy man. Running a company and all.” You held your arms up to motion to the building you now sat in. Joel chuckled, and you shifted in your seat. It was now or never. He really was a busy guy. Couldn’t beat around the bush forever. “So… should we talk about the proposition?”

Joel shrugged. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Well, we can’t sit here just joking around forever. You have work to do, right?”

“No.” Joel shook his head. “You’re in control of this conversation, and as far as I’m concerned if you wanna sit here and chat for the next few hours I’m more than happy to do just that.”

A warm sense of reassurance filled your chest and you nodded. “Thank you, but I think I’m ready to talk about it.” You held up your phone. “I even made bullet points.”

“Very organized. Better than half the people who work for me today.” Joel joked.

You took in a slow breath and then held a hand out to concede the next talking point to him. “Tell me your proposition.”

“Sure.” Joel laced his fingers together again and rested it on the table in front of him with a professional nod. “I wanna take care of you, darlin’. Every resource I have is at your disposal. I don’t want you worryin’ about bills or rent or any sort of money issue you might normally face.” You tried not to show any surprise. You obviously knew all of that, but hearing him say it again in this setting felt different. “All I ask in return is your platonic companionship, and you on my arm at a few company conferences and functions.” Joel offered you a reassuring smile. “I just like talkin’ to you is all, darlin’.”

You bobbed your head in understanding and searched for what you wanted to say. Unable to grasp a single word you held up a finger and opened your phone to find your bullet points. You heard Joel chuckle. “By platonic companionship, can you be more specific? Is there some kind of quota I have to meet weekly?”

“No, darlin’. It ain’t that formal.” Joel replied. “And as for specifics? Uh, I figure just phone calls. Texting, maybe? In the evenings we could meet up sometimes and have dinner?” As he answered your question you were reminded that you were his first sugar baby. It made you feel better that he was apparently as nervous and confused as you. “I figure we can puzzle it out as we go?”

“Got it.” You nodded. “My next question,” You glanced down at your phone then back up, “Just to absolutely clarify, there is no expectation for anything…” You leaned forward and lowered your voice, “Sexual?”

“Exactly. I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me, darlin’.” Joel said firmly. “All I’m askin’ for is,” He pointed down toward the table as if to make his point, “This right here. Just chattin’.”

“Really?” You asked in surprise. “That’s it?"

“Yeah.”

“You’re offering me a life of ease, the world on a platter, and all you want from me is to chat?”

Joel shook his head and leaned forward. “What I want is to take care of you. I wanna watch you enjoy life instead of constantly workin’ and stressin’. Along with your presence, that’s the reward I’m gettin’.” 

“Oh, okay.” You bit down on your lower lip in thought. It really did seem too good to be true. A different question came to mind, a kind of embarrassing one, but it was probably best to clarify it now at the start of this. You settled your face between your hands and nervously asked. “Am I still allowed to flirt with you?” Joel’s eyes widened in surprise, but they filled with interest. “It’s just, sometimes at the bakery…” Half the fun of talking to him was getting to flirt with him. “I mean, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable either.”

Joel shook as he let out a quiet laugh. “You really don’t have to worry about that, darlin’.” His cheeks were flushed, but he kept his charming voice confident and firm as he winked. “If you wanna flirt with an old man like me, I won’t complain.”

“Alright, and you’ll match my energy?”

“Sure, darlin’.” He chuckled.

You wondered if he was fully aware of what he was signing up for. This meant you could say what you wanted without the stress of being pressured into something. Joel was a handsome man and the thrill of flirting with him was exciting. You lowered your hands from your face and rested them on the table.

“Hmm. Sounds like a plan then.” You nodded and decided to test the waters. You tried to force every awkward nerve out of your body and stayed confident. “Anything else we should clarify, daddy?”

It took all your strength not to laugh at the look of shock that flashed across his face or the color that filled his cheeks. Joel cleared his throat and straightened his posture before readjusting his suit’s blazer once more. A hoarse chuckle fell from his lips as delight filled his eyes, “You’re gonna be a bit of a brat, ain’t you sugar?”

“Me? Never.” You said with mocking emphasis. “Now, do we need a contract or something?”

“If it’d make you more comfortable we can make one.” Joel shook his head. “I have no preference.” You shrugged. Rosalind said he’d want one, but if he didn’t you saw no reason to press for one. Joel held a hand out across the table for you to shake. “So? This official then?”

You sucked in a breath then nodded and took his hand to shake. “Guess so.”

“Good.” Joel held your gaze and you felt hypnotized by him. He squeezed your hand once before pulling it back and reaching into his jacket. “I have some things for you then.” Your eyebrows raised surprised by how quick he had something prepared. “Here.”

Joel pulled a brand new iPhone from his inner coat pocket along with what looked like a credit card. A black American Express card to be more specific. He set both in your hands and your jaw fell open in shock. “This…What…I⏤”

“Your phone looks ancient.” Joel shrugged. You glanced down at your current phone. It was a few editions behind and the screen was cracked from where you had dropped it months ago, but it still worked. Usually. Joel tapped his finger against the card sitting on top of the phone that you had yet to pull back towards yourself. Your hand just sat open in the middle of the table. “I want you to use the card for anythin’ you might need during the week.”

“Like?” You pressed.

“I said anythin’, sugar.” Joel replied in a low voice and you sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s the point of this, remember?” You nodded dumbly and he slowly closed your fingers around the items then pushed your hand back towards your side of the table. “I also need you to send me the billing information for your rent, power, and water so I can get those covered. Can you do that for me?”

You gaped at him in shock and it widened Joel’s smirk. Seconds ago you had him in the palm of your hand with your ‘daddy’ comment, but now the tables were turned. It was occurring to you that having him pay for you to live your life meant actually accepting his money. 

“Sugar,” Joel leaned forward, still keeping his voice low in a hoarse whisper, “I asked if you could do that for me.”

“I, uh, yes, sir.” The honorific slipped your lips before you could catch it.

Joel raised an eyebrow at it before nodding once with a grin. “Good girl.”

Oh, boy, you were jumping headfirst into something here, and you had never been more eager for the leap.

taglist:

@weddingfairy @bfences @fairntonorth @jasminedragon @biwitchy @huffle-punk

[previous][next]

✨J.M. Masterlist✨

[awesomedurraworld]

some of my Fullmetal alchemist headcanons: Elric Brothers edition

Edward experienced favoritism in his childhood, he was often met with the lines that he is the older brother and wasn't allowed to act in the same way Alphonse did. Which led him to act out most of the time.

Trisha’s main caregiver was Edward, since the Rockbells couldn't help her full time and Hoho wasn't there. Edward learned everything that his mother did in order to run the house while she was bonded to the bed.

Ed blames himself for Trisha’s death because he fell ill with a cold two weeks before her death. She pushed herself to take care of him and that made her body weaker which lead her to pass away.

Because of that Alphonse when he gets angry, he screams that their mom’s death wasn't their father’s fault but Ed’s

Yuri Rockbell was the closest one to the boys after their mother’s death, he took it upon himself to make sure that they were taken care of and had enough money and all their living needs, he also made sure to spend time with them every day.

After Yuri’s death, Edward and Alphonse were alone, they didn't have enough money to pay for bills and electricity or buy food which lead them to steal sometimes.

When they got caught, Edward will always take the blame, which left the whole village to say that Edward was a brat and a bad boy while Alphonse was the total opposite.

When families from cities come to look for orphans to adopt, and they visit Resembool where all the orphans will line up hoping that they get adopted- the Elric brothers were never wanted- sometimes families choose Al who refuses to go without his brother.

Edward and Al, although close to their granny, she abused them mentally, and sometimes on occasion, physically. They didn't know that was abuse until after they started to work under Mustang.

Alphonse finished only 3ed grade ( while Ed first grade since he dropped out to help his mom.) before they went to study under Izumi for a year before they were kicked out from her home and they made their way back to Resembool.

They tried to bring their mom at ages 10 and 9 ( instead of 10 and 11.) and of course that failed. They ended up living with the Rockbells for 6 months before Major Mustang found them.

Edward joined the military before he turned 12. He was 11 and some and his first birthday after he joined was the 12th.

Both brothers idolized the Colonel, subconsciously or consciously. Since he was their legal guardian, Edward’s commander and the adult who was stable in their life, it just seemed to fit.

Edward is short because as a child he didn't get to eat well, therefor his body did not grow well- unlike Al who ate his meal and Ed’s ( Ed used to give him his meals because let's face it, Ed is dumb like that.) he dislikes being called “ small.” because his mom used to nickname him her small man. So when people make fun of his height, they make fun of his mother’s nickname.

Edward’s harsh, angry, loud and impolite personality comes from two points, the first being not having guides growing up. Maybe Al is considered more polite but really, Ed raised Al while raising himself. Al is just sweeter and is shy and he doesn't put the angry mask on like Ed. And the only reason Ed does have it on is to protect himself and his little brother.

Al calling Ed “ big brother.” or “ brother” more than by his first name because Al sees Ed as an adult if that makes sense? Those names are titles, just like when he called Trisha “mom” that is her title. Ed’s title is “ brother.” because Al can't call him mom or dad so he just sticks to their relation.

Ed’s red jacket was inspired by the colonel’s black one. We see Ed coming to the state exam and receiving his watch while he wears all black- I bet He saw Colonel looking cool with the black coat and since he doesn't want anyone to think he is copying his CO, he went with the red jacket instead.

At the start of his millitry career, Ed refused to sleep and eat to the point he developed disorders. He genuinely thought he deserved to live the same way Al was living- Thankfully he had the whole team Mustang catching him and helping him get better and receive help.

Speaking of team Mustang, they are all just a family to each other, and that includes the Elrics! The boys viewed the men ( Jean, Haymans, Vato, and Maes.) as their uncles, since they acted like ones and it just felt right thinking about them as If they were uncles. Kain being younger and closer to their age, Ed and Al saw an older brother in him. Riza took a longer time for them to see her role in their life, before it dawned on them after a couple of years how much motherly she is towards them, it wasn't the same way as Trisha or Izumi, but Riza was their mom too. As for Roy he was the father they needed but had the hardest time admitting that since the word “ Father and Dad” meant HoHo. Eventually tho, both brothers found happiness in these titles.

Ed’s foodie personality continued even after the promised day. Starving for days as a child made His body always wanting to eat more than a normal person's because it is scared it will go through starvation again.

Sure Ed and Al are close but you bet they still fight like normal siblings on normal things- like who get to sit in the shotgun seat or the upper bunk in the bed or gets to do that one chore.

Ed grew his hair as a promise to Al. He burned the house as a promise as well. The house one so he won't quit and go home and the hair as a reminder, he will not cut it until Al can cut his hair too. So that day when Al got his hair cut after PD, and Edward got one too.

Ed and Al went back to Resembool. They both took a year break before Ed joined the military again as a research state alchemist after Roy was able to pull a few strings, that way Ed could research alchemy and get well paid in order to get Al into a university.

When Roy knew that was Ed’s goal, he surprised him with the fact that he will pay for both of their educations. Saying that “ both of my kids deserve the best education. You did plenty for your bother, let me now carry that burden.”

Alphonse stuided Biochemistry and then traveled to Xing, to learn Alkheasty.

Edward studied physics and engineering ( double majoring!!) he started playing with the idea If humans could fly using vechails ( I like to think he started sketching airplane.) After he finished his studies and traveled around for few months, he proposed to Winry.

Alphonse and Mai decided that they will play as the aunt and uncle in the family as they weren't ready to be parents yet with their lifestyles.

Edward and Winry had 6 kids and Ed was a stay at home dad while Win countined her ever-growing business.

Roy adopted the Elrics, but no one really mentions that. It was after the PD, as a promise that he will still take care of them and look after them even when they left the army, and that they will always have a place with him- all the good parental things.

Ed’s kids are named after important people or things in life. Like his oldest, a boy is named Yuri Roy Elric, honoring both of Win and Ed’s dads. And so on with the rest of their children.

Alphonse gave his gate to Ed as a birthday gift, since he stopped using it and just saw it a fitting after everything Ed did to him.

Edward when he shared that with Roy and how he has his alchemy back, he became a soilder again, “ Colonel Elric.” and became Roy’s bodyguard ( since Hawkeye and him got married.) and Roy’s secret weapon. No one knowss that Ed has his alchemy again so he always took his enemies by shock.

Alphonse lives in Xing and is a honorable member of the royal family.

Ed opened the gate and exchanged his automail leg with his arm. It was painful getting a new port, but for his new bodyguard gig, it seemed like the best choice, since his arm is his weapon.

[crispycrunchers]

The Book Of Bill

This is kind of random, but I want to go on a little rant about The Book Of Bill. Fist off, I love the book. I haven't finished it since I really want to take my time with it, but it's so funny and gives us a lot of insight on Bill and his life. Also, toxic old man yao-

But what I really want to talk about is the fact that a lot of Christians and parents are freaking out over it. I am not in fact a parent (thank God) but I am a Christian. One who loves and follows God, but is also a huge nerd so I'm really into things like Gravity Falls. I'm also a 'young' Christian, but have been following God for years and years of my life, so I feel like I know enough to talk about this.

Fist off, the fact that parents are getting mad over the more 'mature' themes in the book. Baby girl, the book and Alex Hirsch said it was for older audiences. I understand people associating Bill Cipher as a kids character, since Gravity Falls is deemed a 'kids show', but if there's a content warning given by the book, you should probably listen. It wasn't really a surprise, since it gave a content warning. And above all, you should have been paying closer attention to what type of media your kids consume. Yeah, you're probably busy, but I somehow highly doubt your kid has their own debit card to buy the book on amazon, and even more so doubt that they went to the store by themselves to buy the book with pocket cash. Anyways, the point is, it has a content warning saying that it is geared towards older audiences, so don't be mad at the book or Alex Hirsch.

Now when it comes to the 'Christian outlook' on all of this, a lot of Christian have been debating on whether it's okay for Christians to watch the show since it has themes of demons, summoning's, and things of that sort. For me personally, I think if you're worried about it negatively impacting your kid, wait until they're older to let them watch it. Realistically, Gravity Falls probably would have scared the crap out of younger me since I was a little weakling lol. But when I got older and had a firm grasp on my own beliefs and watched Gravity Falls, I didn't suddenly become a Satanist or get possessed. And if you're a Christian whos a teenager or even a young adult and wants to watch Gravity Falls without compromising your relationship with God, I want you to keep some things in mind as you make your own decision.

First off, one mistake wont ruin your relationship with God. This I can promise. I've watched a lot of shows that I probably shouldn't have, and they've affected me in a bad way, but never has God pulled away from me or made me start over. If you start watching a show and feel like it's wrong, just stop watching it and move on. God wont hold a grudge. Secondly, Bill Cipher isn't a 'real' demon. He's a fictional character who is a demon in the fictional show, but he's not based off of a real demon from what I've seen. The fourth wall breaking where he talks to the reader in the Book Of Bill is just a fun twist to the whole thing. Yeah, obviously you don't want to give your blood or mind to an evil triangle Dorito demon in real life (even if he is super dapper with his lil' hat and bow tie), but again, it's fictional. I apply this rule to basically everything, meaning I'm gonna watch Beetlejuice Beetlejuice because he isn't based off a real demon, just a fictional one. Now, the last point is that ultimately it's your choice. Hate to break it to you and all those possibly controlling/judgmental family members, but your walk with God is- big shocker- between you and God. It's like how no one can really tell you have to have a relationship with your significant other. Whatever works for the two of you, works for the two of you, and might not work for others. I feel that it is okay for me to love Gravity Falls since I'm not doing anything bad, and I'm not letting it take the place of God if you know what I mean.

Anyways, if you made it this far, congrats. If you're wondering why I posted such a long message about Christianity on my blog about goofy video games/movies/shows/etc., then you're perfectly correct for wondering so. (More yapping ahead, please read this part).

Like I said before, I am a Christian. I've not always been a Christian despite being raised as one, because at some point in our lives we have to question all that we've been thought, and find our own footing. Now, one of the things I am extremely passionate about (besides good story telling and art) is correcting and calling out lies and faults in the church. 'But, Crisp! Isn't that going against church and therefore God!?' Uh, no. If someone was straight up lying about you, wouldn't you want your friend to correct them? And even more so, if you were being lied to, especially in a way that was harming you, wouldn't you want to be corrected?

I am by no means perfect, not even close, and I am nowhere near the level God is at. But I can say that I've spent many years of my life witnessing people who are supposed to be the carriers of love and hope, be the most hateful, fearful people on Earth. Like any group of people, there are good people, and bad people. I want those who want to try out Christianity to be able to see God for who he truly is, and those who are already following God to not be afraid as I was taught to be originally.

Now, worry not, my little buttercups, this isn't randomly going to change into a Christian blog where I'm beating you with the Bible since, quite honestly, that is the last thing I want to be doing. I just want to be super upfront with you all, and provide a place where Christians and none-Christians alike can just co-exist and talk about nerdy things. That being said, I don't care if you're not a Christian, I don't care if you don't agree with everything I say. Love is the most important thing to me, so I want everyone to be able to come together and nerd out about things like Gravity Falls and such. But every now and then I'll make a little (enormous, holy sweet pineapple baby I wrote so much) post like this.

That being said, my apologies for hitting you with such a big piece of text first thing in the morning, lol. But if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading my little (again, enormous) rant. I hope you don't see me as some brainwashed, Bible beating person disguised as a lore freak. I promise I'm not. lol. That being said, I will not tolerate any hate what-so-ever. I don't care from whom towards who, it's entirely wrong. If I find out you're hating on someone I will immediately try and figure out how to remove you (I'm new to Tumblr, spare me the glares).

Anyways, thanks for reading, folks. I hope to see you on a more 'light-hearted'/nerdy topic. I hope you understand everything I wrote here, lol, don't be afraid to ask me any questions, I love yapping as you can tell.

[strawberryshortcake1495]

The 6 Stages of Grief (based off that one what-if post I made a while back except it’s with oldersibling!reader)

You were out collecting alien adhesive with your little brother Dipper, and your great uncle Ford. It was to seal this thing called the rift, you didn’t really pay attention when Ford was rambling off. Dipper was a huge fan of your great uncle, and you weren’t going to stop his fun. But everything had gone to hell so fast. There were these aliens, and Ford got kidnapped, and well- it’s a long story. Right now, you were lying in the dirt gaining consciousness. When you opened your eyes, you saw Dipper next to an unconscious Ford, nervously tugging his arm. The next sound you heard made you instantly pull yourself to your feet. The sound of an alien. You ran towards Dipper, grabbed his arm, pulled him behind you, and grab the magnet gun Ford had given you. “You think you can scare me?! Do your worst! Nobody in this universe is gonna take away my family! So go ahead, give me what you’ve got!” You shrieked. Dipper scrambled to find his own magnet gun and aimed it up at the alien with you. You looked at eachother and nodded. There was a big flash, and you immediately pulled the trigger. When your vision cleared, you saw that there was a huge hole inside the alien robot, and you were ecstatic. “Holy shit, we did it! I mean, I did it. It was probably me. Did you see that, Di-“ All the light left your eyes as you saw your brother, standing before you, with a gaping wound in his chest. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He then fell over, and you immediately caught him in your arms. “Oh god- oh god oh god oh god-“ you muttered in fear. “You did it.” Those were the only words that left his lips. You felt this horrible pressure in your chest that made its way up to your face and leaked out of your eyes. “You have to get Great Uncle Ford out of here.” Dipper said weakly. “Take him back to the shack…help…tell everyone…” His eyelids grew heavy. “No no no, stay awake! Come on, you’ve done it before.” You said, softly nudging him. That was enough for him to keep his eyes wide open. “Y/N…” Dipper said quietly. “S…so soooorry….” he slurred. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” You said, voice trembling. “C-Can yeeee….sing….pwease?” He asked. Your eyes widened. It brought you back to a simpler time. Back when you were little. Whenever he had a nightmare, you’d sing him to sleep. It was the same lullaby every time. During the summer, Dipper had constant nightmares about…about everything. Bill, Wendy, Gideon, and so much more. But he once never bothered to ask you to sing to him. Because he was 12 now, he felt like an adult. He didn’t want to be sung to like a baby. So this moment- this moment of vulnerability, it broke you. You cradled his head on your lap, closed your eyes, and sung what would be the last thing he’d hear.

I remember tears streaming down your face When I said I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said don't leave me here alone But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone, gone Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound Sound… *humming* Just close your eyes… You'll be alright… Come morning light… You and I'll be safe and sound…

You could hear his breathing become slower and quieter until…nothing. You open your eyes and your teary ones stared into his lifeless ones. The poor boy was just staring off into the bright blue sky, with no sign of life in him. He was already gone. The tears dropped down your cheeks as you let out a choked sob. Your shaking hands hovered over his face and with a quick swoop, you gently pulled his eyelids down, closing his eyes and putting him to rest. For a while, you just sat there. Shaking. Crying. Screaming out his name. He’s dead. He’s really dead. Your little Dipper. The baby brother you once held in your arms and promised to love and cherish until the day you died. More thoughts seeped into your brain. Oh god, what about Mabel? She’s gonna be devastated once she finds out. It’d be too much for her pure heart to bear. And Grunkle Stan…he was always hard on Dipper but deep down he truly cared about the kid. You knew that in your heart. But you can’t even imagine how he’d react, not because of your anguish, but because he was just so unpredictable. Then your thoughts drifted to Ford. All the pain and anguish in your heart was suddenly over flooded with something new. Rage. If he hadn’t brought you on this stupid trip, you wouldn’t be holding your dead brother right now. What was he thinking, endangering him like this? He’s just a kid! He…was…just a kid. The anger flows through your veins as you glance to your left, seeing Ford starting to wake up. “What…What happened?” He said. You grabbed your magnet gun, noticing it only had one shot left. You looked back up at him, at his horrified face upon seeing Dipper’s body. Seeing all red, you aimed the gun at him and pulled the trigger.

[sunlitewhispers]

Marvus and his money headcanon

(Been surfing through the marvus tags and I've got some thoughts to share regarding this clown)

To start off, I personally think troll currency is more digital than physical. Like everyone uses a card to trade or get items (and its only due to the empresses restrictions on things when she removed the adults from the planet) but physical money is still real, it's just a fun thing that highbloods and high midbloods use to flaunt and to trade amongst each other.

To signify the value of the bills, they have a strip of color from the cast they were made for. For example, Teals =80, Cerulean =90, Indigo =100, etc.

(There were coins that were common amongst lowbloods and low midbloods, but that got discontinued when moving to cashless/digital. There is evidence preserving the old currency existence such as in museums showings of the old times and extremely old paintings in the clown churches.) (You can think that these coins are caegars or not)

With that out the way! On to Marvus and his money 💰

I imagine Marvus doesn't really care about money nor feels that it has a heavy connection to his identity compared to performing/entertaining. Marvus just knows that people wanna see him and lose their shit at his concerts and are willing to drop stacks to be there even with the risk of being culled.

With that, Marvus can be loose with his money, quite literally throwing it around to which some highbloods would critique the act as 'disrespectful' and 'rebellious' since money is one of the ways ancestors can provide to descendants and give them a clue to their existence. (If they want or have left a will if they died, regardless, the empire still sets them up with a small fund)

I dont know if philanthropy would be an actual thing or just be a thing highbloods (like Zebruh) say they do for approval points. But I imagine Marvus would be the type to do so in the most unconventional means.

He probably stopped his tour bus once to grab a grubshake or a handmade sandwich from a small cafe and threw a fat band on the counter saying, "Keep da change lol." Leaving the workers there in awe and fear cause damn he just weirdly blessed them, and damn they now gotta fight off his fans from stealing the marvy money. (If Marvus is there, his fans are certainly gonna be there too.)

Marvus definitely buys his crew lunch or, if he's hanging with someone, offers to pay for them when he's out and about. He stresses tf out of his accountant because he doesn't keep track of how much he spends in a day. You know his ass absolutely has a money gun to use at his concerts.

Bascially when you're Marvus, you're a baller who is a big spender.

When interacting with Marvus, depending on his quadrant, you're gonna see how he moves with his cash.

•♡ Matespirit ♡•

if you got this man in this quadrant, good luck on getting Marvus not to spoil the fuck out of you. Trust and believe he'll take any chance to drop some stacks on you. If you guys are out and you say or point out some items, you can bet that Marvus is buying them.

Oh, you think that clothing line is cute? Guess what? He's ordered the entire line to be sent to your place.

Big fan of video games? No problem! He is getting the newest console out on the market in your favorite color with your name on it.

Love sweets? Bam! He's gonna invite you over to his crib and have you watch a team of trolls bake the best desserts of Alternia.

Money ain't a thang to this man. It gives him a chance to show his love through the material means and show that he wants you to enjoy yourself and time with him. Small part of him uses money to be a temporary fix when he has to go on long tours. If he can't spend time with you on troll FaceTime or in real life, he'll send gifts to show that he's still alive and thinking about you.

However, if large displays of affections through money don't appeal to you or you start to feel overwhelmed by the purchases or think he's being disingenious in his affection, he'll pull it back.

He'll likely give you a card that's connected to his account so you can have the control to buy what you want without feeling like you have to ask him. (And such an act will give him a small piece of security to know you'll have the means to survive financially on Alternia, especially if you've expressed times of financial hardships to him)

Also doesn’t matter if it's public or private, He's gonna randomly place bills on your person, i.e., stuffing them in your pockets, slipping them in your shirt pocket, pinning them to your jacket. If you ask him why he's doing that (or wonder where he stores his cash)(btw he literally has no pants pockets) Marvus is gonna give you a saucy wink and smile all dumb and say "a mf gotta pay dem feez 4 havin a wicked mate lik u b ;0)" than he'll place a smacking wet kiss on your forehead and be all noisey about it while doing so.

•◇ Moirials ◇•

In this quadrant, his spending habit might look casual to outsiders, but with you, they'll be a tad more personal. Still be extra af like in matespiritship but he'll be spending money to clear his mind or yours.

Feeling stressed about some unfinished work? Don't worry. He'll reserve a spa service just for you.

Need to cry out some hard feelings? He's gonna get some matching pajamas and grab some emergency blankets to get that session on.

You know that one ring that SpongeBob and Patrick have to show off their friendship? He's gonna get something like that to represent your guy's moirallgience. Anything involving moirails, he will buy and send them to you.

You're definitely gonna be his merch tester and probably be brought to his trips to the galleries when he goes to buy art pieces. (Need your support and opinion when bidding for art pieces.)

Like with matespiritship, if you feel like he's being insincere or rather prefers more handmade gifts. He'll try to schedule days to create personal gifts. He might pay someone to tutor him about your interests just so you can rant without having to stop and explain what you're talking about.

Marvus will remember what your favorite snacks and favorite meals are for when you're hanging with the crew or just him. Compared to where he won't care about what someone orders, you don't gotta worry about an order mess up or reminding him. He got that locked in, unless you want something different, then just point him to it.

If there is a fucked up order for you, he will raise hell. Typically, he won't care if something he orders is messed up. He'll pay for another one. However, on behalf of his moirial, this mf gonna walk up to the counter like that meme saying they asked for no pickles. The first and hopefully (in his opinion) only time you'll ever see him asking for a refund.

A thing that'll be a routine of your relationship is him swinging by your place late af in the daytime to grab you and get some breakfast before he has to start his night.(Unless you spend the day at his hive than he'll order said breakfast and catch some more Zzzs with you.)

•♤ Kismeses ♤•

Now in this quadrant, compared to the other two, Marvus is a clown who's mischievous as hell. This bitches antics are gonna be up to 100 when it comes to him.

Honestly, you're gonna be on your toes for buying things. It'll become a back and forth of him randomly, not having money than to him having it though being really annoying and lazy with it.

If your someone who's well off, you better hide your wallet. Marvus will snag your card and make an excuse how he left his cash in his other pants/trailer/hive and buy the most stupidest shit under your name. (He'll troll cash app you back but do it so tediously that you hope your account crashes)

If he catches a single hint or a word, even a wrinkle of disgust on you, Marvus will make it the bane of your life.

You dislike the residue of his paint left on your face after a hate-makeout session? Marvus now has to buy this one face paint that is known for being messy. what? His manager told him, too. :0)

You think cowboy boots are clunky and tacky? Guess who's strolling up in some bedazzled purple lined boots that jingle when he walks.

You make a comment on how creepy troll beanie boos plushies are, he's gonna get a brand deal with them and send you a crate of his new designs. A note will be attached saying "4 my numba 1 fan ;0)~".

Similar to moirallgience, you will be a merch tester, yet you won't know if he's being serious or wanting to rile you up. Regardless, when you shit on the design he's showing you, that's how he'll know his fans will love it! Doesn't matter if it's the simplest design, an eyesore to the public, he'll promote it to the point that even your small-time friends will surely mention the product to you. Might even send a shout-out to you on Chitter for your 'help'.

Don't ask him for a bill if you want something from a vending machine. Marvus will pull the most crumpled weirdly stained bill you'll ever see in your lifetime and smile at you plainly like, "Here u go buddi dats all I can find on me atm lmao." Additionally to this, he will slowly count his bucks out if you all are in a line somewhere. (Marvus knows no one will rush him and if you complain, he'll pretend he lost count and start over)

To conclude this, watch out for when he's feeling more petty. He'll make a habit of sending you items in loud peculiar packaging that suggest to those handling it that there's something inappropriate in it when there really isn't.

•♧ Auspistice ♧•

With this one, Marvus doesn’t fit the vibe of where he might truly kill his kismeses. Nor does he seem to want to be in a situation to be aggravated enough to join in murdering someone (Going off his response to MSPA reader when the clown fight happened). However, Marvus may strive on not becoming active on those emotions. Close calls can exist.

A tiff among his roadies about best faygo flavors is a good way. His manager hassling him, and trying to change up his brand is close enough. Groupie sea dwellers trying to follow him back to his trailer and not taking a hint is a real close call.

If you mediate for Marvus a few times, he'll certainly be grateful (and a bit embarrassed) he'll grant you a gift card of some shop of your choice as thanks.

On the other hand, you've been around long enough to spot a murderous Marvus, then you're undeniably a part of his inner circle. With the exception of being his paid emotional bodyguard coach.

As business-like, it might seem in the beginning, you're a trustworthy and skillful individual in Marvus's eyes. He knows dealing with irritated trolls, particularly enraged highbloods, is not a fun nor easy task.

Other trolls may feel like this relationship is wandering into moirallgience territory.(which might be) Marvus won't really care about those opinions and possibly offer to meditate for you in the event he catches you in a tense position.

You’ll be called for his long tours when he has to do shows for sea dwellers and, without a doubt, be put through the ringer. It'll end with you guys munching on loads of the troll version of ice cream in silence.

At any point, you're too stressed to de-escalate a situation. He'll give you a paid vacation and make sure you don't come back until you are entirely stressed free.

He may tell you once he calms down that you should open a private business due to your and I quote "motherfckin dopeazz obzi-va-tional skilz."

Small note : Marvus has dealt with people trying to form a quad with him just for the fame/money, as we seen with Zebruh. So if he catches signs that what's happening, he's going to be acting distant and extremely scripted around you, then like ghost you. You'll be blacklisted from his concerts (unknowingly), and future clowns might keep a close eye on you if you hang at the churches.

Welp, that's all! Hopefully, this was entertaining to read! I do apologize if some parts feel rushed or that there were more details in some quads, I tried to keep them around the same length.

[mayajadewrites]

Never Say Never - Suguru Geto x Reader

Chapter Four: Roomie Night

Chapter Summary: The roommates get together every now and then at the house to get drunk together and just hang out. Suguru decides to be brave, which leads to more questions than answers.

Author notes: I'm literally listening to a playlist called 'dating suguru geto' to get in the mindset to write this chapter because there will be smut.

WARNING: SMUT AHEAD.

ao3

TAGS: @username23345

"It's roomie night!!" I smile, wiggling two bottles of liquor in my hands. Shoko smiles, grabbing a bottle from me and pouring herself a glass.

Every now and then we try to do roomie night - which is when all of the roommates get together and drink, hangout, and overall just have a good time.

It's been weird with Suguru lately, but I'm hoping the liquor is mixed with truth serum so he can tell me what the hell is going on.

"I got you guys your favorite snacks." Gojo pushed his glasses in front of his eyes, revealing the tray of snacks.

"You're so thoughtful. Thank you, Satoru." I wrap an arm around Gojo. He can be the biggest pain in my ass, but he is the sweetest person. Always so thoughtful.

"NOW LETS DRINK." Gojo yelled, running to the kitchen.

And loud.

Suguru was leaning against the wall, sipping on his drink. I work up the courage to walk over to him, even though his stature almost repels me.

He peers at me with his half hooded eyes, nodding his head. Suguru loves wearing black, of course, so he's wearing a black tshirt that shows off his arm tattoos, and a pair of black sweatpants.

I opted for sweat-shorts, a tank top, and an oversized zip up hoodie, revealing my shoulder.

"What are you drinking?" I smile, standing on my tip-toes to see his drink.

"Whiskey. You wouldn't like it." Suguru took another sip from his cup, locking his eyes with yours.

"Since when do you know everything about me?"

"Since I've spent 95% of my life with you."

Well, he has a point.

I sip on my rum and pineapple, which admittedly is mostly rum. Gojo turned on music from his roomie playlist. It's as chaotic as us - there's happy songs, party songs, and songs you fuck to.

"Did you wear those shorts for me?" Suguru leaned down to my ear, whispering. I could feel his chest against my back, causing me to freeze.

"Nope." I made a 'pop' noise. "Why? You like?" I twirled, the liquor hitting me slowly.

Suguru didn't answer, he just walked to the couch where Gojo, Shoko, and Nanami were. I followed, grabbing a blanket from the basket on the floor.

I sat next to Nanami on purpose, because it was opposite of Suguru.

"We're almost done with college, what are we gonna do after?" Gojo said.

"Get jobs. Be adults. Pay bills." Nanami pushed his glasses.

"Wow, sounds soooooo fun." Gojo groaned.

We laughed in unison, bantering back and forth.

During the conversation, Suguru got up from his seat next to Shoko and sat next to me under my blanket.

I glare at him before directing my attention back to the conversation, discussing our post-grad plans.

Goosebumps populated my skin as I felt Suguru's hand on my thigh, his long fingers creeping underneath my shorts. He looked so casual while doing it, no one could probably tell. Also, we're all drunk or tipsy, so that helps.

"What are you doing?" I turn to Suguru, raising my eyebrow.

Suguru didn't answer, letting his fingers explore the damp cloth of my thong. A smirk formed on his face as he felt my arousal.

I felt a finger push the fabric of my thong to the side, while another finger enters my pussy. I hold back a moan, afraid of the consequences of my roommates seeing me like this.

Suguru continued his conversation with Gojo as he was doing this, curling his finger inside of me, massaging my clit.

"I'll be right back." I abruptly left the couch, but no one except Suguru noticed.

The liquor has hit.

Suguru followed me to the bathroom, refusing to leave me alone. "I knew I would get you in the bathroom somehow." He locked the door behind him.

"Suguru, don't do something you'll regret." We stopped drinking an hour ago while everyone else was downing more shots. So I'm not sure if we can blame this purely on alcohol.

"Anything regarding you willl never result in regret." Suguru moved a piece of hair behind my ear, then sucking on the finger that was just inside me. "I need to taste more of you.

I searched his eyes for an answer. Lies, truths, anything. I couldn't find what I was looking for, but I so badly want to give into my temptations. I look up at Suguru, biting my bottom lip.

He grabs me by my waist, sitting me on the counter of the bathroom we share. His hands are resting next to my thighs, staring into my eyes. His hair is in his usual half up, half down style with a bun and messy face framing pieces.

"I've dreamt of this moment for years." Suguru inched his face closer to mine, closing the space between us. I cradled his face in my hands as our lips erupted with electricity. His body is standing between my legs, rubbing his thumb along my thigh.

Suguru's lips feel like plump clouds that know exactly how I like being kissed. I wrap my legs around his waist as we kiss, wanting to immerse myself with him.

I can't lie, I've thought about this moment for awhile. It's hard to deny sexual tension, especially with Suguru Geto. The only time it was easy was when he was fucking other women.

"Are you okay?" Suguru popped into my thoughts, caressing my face.

I nod, pulling him back in for another kiss. I opened my mouth slightly to let his tongue in, to which he obliged. I moaned against his lips as Suguru snaked his hands under my hoodie and tank top, resting his hands on my tits. He started kneading them slowly, deepening the kiss.

I helped him take off my hoodie, leaving me only in my tank top and shorts. My tits were spilling out of my top, to which Suguru started kissing them. He kissed, sucked, and bit, leaving multiple marks. I put my hand in his hair, leaning back against the mirror as I felt my core start pulsating.

"I want to taste you." Suguru pulled me to the edge of the counter, pulling my shorts and thong down to the floor in one go. I steadied myself with my forearms on the counter, looking down at the fabulous view of Suguru kneeling in front of my pussy.

"More beautiful than I imagined." He grazed his fingers over my slit, covering them with my arousal. "Good girl, so wet for me already."

I let out a moan before Suguru plunged two of his fingers into my pussy, staring at my face. His eyes are hypnotizing. My hands traveled to his hair again, pushing his face towards my pussy.

"Now." I moan.

"Demanding now, are we?" Suguru hummed, pressing a soft kiss to my slit. My hips jolted from the touch, begging for more.

Suguru slid his tongue in my pussy gently before he started fucking devouring it. He looked up at me while he was eating my pussy like it was his last meal, and I just about lost it.

"You are so beautiful." Suguru mumbled against my pussy, curling and pumping his fingers. My walls begin to pulsate around his hand and mouth, which only makes him go faster. "Cum for me, princess."

The world began to evaporate around me until it was just Suguru and I. My legs were shaking almost uncontrollably, riding out my high.

"Suguru." I moan his name, pressing his face into me. When I halfway come down from the euphoria I just experienced, I noticed Suguru had a white spot on his sweatpants.

This man came from giving ME pleasure.

I don't think another man can ever eat my pussy again.

"Suguru," I breathe, pulling him back up to my eye level.

"You are addicting." He kissed me, my arousal glistening on his lips. "That pussy tastes better than anything else I've ever ate in my life."

"Hey!! What are you two doing?!" Gojo banged on the door. "Why is the door locked?!"

Suguru and I looked at each other, stunned.

"Uh, she's throwing up so I'm holding her hair for her. I didn't want the smell getting out." Suguru lied.

"Oh, thanks man!" Gojo jogged away.

Suguru and I laugh at how easy that was, but then we look at each other and realize our relationship just got a lot more complicated.

[memeapple2]

Aqua teen hunger force starters :^)

"YOU DARE DISRESPECT THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY!"

"You look at them and tell me there's a god!"

"I'm an adult and I deserve an adult glass"

"You don't own space, so stop actin like you do!"

"Okay have a crappy weekend I hope your house burns down."

"It don't matter. None of this matters."

"I'm just sayin' that if you continue rippin' off my idea, my unique graphics, someone's face is gonna get ripped off. And that ain't a threat, that's a guarantee."

"GENTLEMEN BEHOLDI HAVE LOST WEIGHT!"

"I am 30 or 40 years old I do not need this!"

"Its a groovy time for a movie time!"

"Hell, no, I pay no bills. I pay you no mind!"

"That says the bibble."

"Well, I'm just glad you finally learned some responsibility. In the most ass way possible."

"Are you the guy who keeps telling me to "Beware"? 'Cause I'll tell you where to be! Outta my sight!"

"God has allowed me to live another day and I'm gonna make it everyone's problem."

"DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO SUCK IT!? I DON'T HEAR NO GLUG GLUG GLUG!!"

“I’m gonna start dropping F-bombs. Listen to this: Fart you, fart head.”

“I don’t have any real dolls, I prefer to use my infinite imagination… cause I ain’t got no damn money.”

“We do whatever we want, to whomever we want, at all times.”

“It’s not Dracula, it’s just a damn school bus!”

“Hey, which one of y’all left the door open? And tore it off the hinges, and threw it in the yard?”

“You better run, boy! And bring back some chocolate syrup, too. Or your fate is sealed.”

"Where you should have a brain there's just a cavity that keeps you afloat. Isn't THAT something to be really proud of."

"Oh no, so what you're saying is this is a mystery and we have to go solve it, right? I scheduled this day off over two weeks ago. I made a memo."

"You're about to not have a mouth! And I mean it! I'LL RIP IT OFF!"

"You think you're gonna live forever, but you won't. Someone'll kill ya. Someone'll kill ya with a knife."

"Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them."

"He needs his brain or else he's just going to float around saying 'do what now.'"

"Well, that was fun. I'm gonna take a nap now, and then I think I'm gonna call, uh, some hospitals."

"It is the Broodwich, forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell's half-acre, baked by Beelzebub, slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken forced into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman, cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow, layered with six-hundred and sixty-six separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood!"

"I must say... bacon aside, this is the best damn sandwich I've ever had in my life."

"Hell no! That sumbitch had an axe!"

"Why do you disappoint me?? Second by second, you waste my time."

"The only reason God doesn't erase you from the face of the earth is beacuse you amuse him somehow!"

GOD YOU SUCK AT BASKETBALL!"

"GO BACK TO YOUR MAMA!"

"LORDY LORDY LOOK WHO'S TURNING 4040!"

"This cord was plugged into my house and your house was glowing like the freaking sun! So I put two and two together there... and decided that you're pissing me off!"

"Now, I am not a violent person. But I would kill somebody, in front of they own grandmother, for a ten-speed."

"The blood bank is an evil pyramid scheme perpetrated by Dracula and his night slaves."

"Only us adults can say hell, damn, bitch, and ass. So get your helling, damn ass over to that bitching, damn room dammit!"

"This will only hurt for a second... but damn will it hurt."

"Well I'm in business. Business of kicking your ass, and let me tell ya, business is booming. I'm open for business, business of giving you the business... up your butt. Business is good."

"People like me. Because I force them to. With violence."

"you can't tell me im drunk, thats between me and god"

"Yeah, I keep the blinds closed, so it's kinda disorienting. But you know, I don't want the government in my business."

"Now why don't you go back to the time before Christ, AKA next door."

"You are the gayest monster since gay came to gaytown."

"You're lucky I'm thoughtful enough to throw my anger at the media, and not your buttocks!"

[mindingmybidness12]

Tara Carpenter x Gn! Reader

Suspicious Minds Part 1

Warnings: Cursing and swearing... like a lot

You were rushing to an early grave and there was nothing you could do to stop it. It all started when Your alarm clock failed to wake you up on time. This, of course, made him late to work which brought him to where you are now. Tearing down the bike lane of your neighborhood while getting your ass chewed by your boss. 

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!! YOU’RE LATE!! YOU HEAR ME?? LAAAAATE!!”

“Sir, I am quite literally five minutes away. I was only supposed to clock in only a minute ago–”

“One minute is a minute too much! Now you're telling me you're gonna be FIVE MORE MINUTES LATE?? UNACCEPTABLE!!”

He then resorted to even more yelling and at this point you were already over it.You couldn’t help but think about where you're headed at the moment. You were rushing into a dead end job just to get yelled at by your douchebag boss and for what? The pay wasn’t even that good. He was just bullshitting you to believe that nobody else would hire you, when in reality, nobody would really want to work for a jackass like him. Except you did.

Key word here being did. You promptly slammed on the brakes of your bike and focused on the phone call.

"Now you listen here you old ass piece of shit," you started causing him to splutter but you didn't give him the time to recover "I have had it up to here with your crap! You treat me like shit. You underpay me. You're smelly, ugly, fat, and old as shit but you still got the nerve to push me away from the register every time a woman comes by like they're actually here to see your fugly ass! You're fifty years old in a beginner's level karate class! Get on a damn treadmill first! Then after you've had your fill, choke on a bag of dicks and fall down the stairs. Then if you find it in your ugly soul to get back up, then just go all the way to hell !!"

You hung up the phone before he could recovered and started laughing as you did. How's that for a two weeks notice? You started dancing in celebration. You couldn't help yourself. You were finally free from a crappy ass job and a crappy ass boss. Now you could finally turn your crappy life back around. Free at last, free at last! As you were dancing, you hit a quick spin around while transitioning to doing the Dougie you made eye contact with Tara Carpenter of all people. Your jaw dropped and you felt heat creeping up your cheeks from the embarrassment. Still you tried to make a pass at being casual.

"Uh.. hey.. H-how's it going?"

You were not casual.

Tara let out a giggle and grinned at you while returning the greeting with a 'hey' of her own. You had to fight the urge to not grin like an idiot. You tried not to make it so obvious that you were into her. You and her shared only one class but you ended up sitting next to each other and working on an assignment. You had no intention of falling in love with anybody but it just kinda... happened. You cracked one half hearted joke and she tried and failed to hold back a snort. From then on you were always seen together in Biology. Laughing, cracking jokes, and teasing. Sometimes you would even get threaten to be split up or thrown out of class but you always managed to keep this calm before that happened.

As much fun as you two had with each other it would always stay within the classroom. It wasn't your fault or hers, it just how it seem to end up. There were days where she'd ask for you to come hang with her but you were stuck working at a shitty job to help pay the bills as an emancipated adult. There were the rare times that you were free after class but she would be linking up with her own friends. You didn't take it to heart but it kinda sucks that you only saw each other few hours out of the week. Before your thought could wonder off too far, Tara grabbed your attention once more.

"So who was the poor person you went full psycho on just now?"

You rolled your eyes but responded anyways.

"Just my dickhead boss... or should I say former boss? Cause I just quit. I've had enough."

"Oh! Well I'm glad you've stuck up for yourself." Tara congratulated you. You just smiled at her while nodding your head in thanks. Tara smiled shyly while turning her head away from you. While the silence stretch on and you were inwardly trying to think of something to say to get the ball rolling. You didn't know if this silence was supposed comfortable or not but you we're kinda afraid to let it go on longer than this.

"So whatchu doing out out here?"

Tara huffed and then went on to explain how she had plans with one of her friends only for them to bail last minute. You just hummed and nodded along as she vented a little bit to you.

"Well sucks to suck doesn't it?"

Tara snorted while giving your arm a shove. You chuckled back before you started thinking again. Tara's plans were cancelled so she was free. You were free from a shitty poopy job with an equally shitty poopy boss. You were already out and together. Hmm.

Chance!

"Hey, Tara wanna go do something?"

"Like what?" she asked looking up towards you.

"Like... I don't know, hang out? Grab a bite to eat? It's like the first time both of us are free and together right?"

"Yeah... yeah!" She nodded getting excited about finally getting to chance to hang out with you outside of class.

"Alright then, let's go."

A/N: The end for now. Thanks for tuning in and let me know what you guys think of my very first post here. I'll see you when I see you.

[possessionisamyth]

The status of Chris and Claire's parents are "presumed dead unless stated otherwise", so this is going to be thoughts where I try to build something out of extremely little information and basic life knowledge. Fun way to say this is all complete speculation and rambling.

I don't think Claire would willingly drop going to university to raise Sherry. I think she'd do it because she'd feel like she'd have to not because she wanted to. I also think Leon promising to take care of Sherry so Claire can leave to find her brother was to remove that genuine concern from her shoulders. The age difference isn't big, but Leon is slightly more adult than Claire. He's already finished his education as far as he wanted it to go, hence the whole being a cop thing. He already had an apartment in RC he was going to be in, so he has some kind of credit history. He can legally do things at 21 that Claire can't at 19 in the US. Plus, he probably knows a lot about the law. He could probably figure something out so Sherry gets the proper care once they made it somewhere safe.

Claire, on the other hand, was a fresher adult. She's barely gotten to experience independence before Raccoon City, and her duty to her family is one she's not going to toss away.

I don't know if the Redfields were a military family, but the other reason a lot of people join the military is because they need the money and benefits. Chris joined the air force as young as he was able to. If Chris has been supporting Claire for most of their lives, it's very likely Claire worked super hard to get into college. She's also probably worked twice as hard earning scholarships to help pay for the experience and take as much financial weight off Chris' shoulders as possible. If she was super lucky, she did something that got her a full ride scholarship.

Were she going somewhere mega ultra cheap for her schooling, she would've been living with Chris while she attended a community college in Raccoon City. In the US, going out of city or out of state to attend college can get expensive fast, and you have to live in a dormitory of some kind if you're not lucky to stumble upon cheap housing with/without roommates. She's definitely risked losing most if not all scholarship support she might've received while looking for her brother. She was gone for an entire semester. Some programs have files you can send for emergency situations, so I could see her brother helping her out with serious but feasible excuses to keep her money, but those are still weighed by people who may or may not deem those reasons as acceptable.

I know Sherry is very important to Claire, but I think both Leon and Chris would act as the voice in Claire's ear saying she needs to set herself up better if she wants that responsibility. Chris would be speaking from experience as someone who took care of Claire. Leon would be speaking from the concerned perspective of a friend. It would definitely come off as a "Let the adults take care of it" interpretation at first, but the logic would bleed in next. She saw how much Chris struggled. Leon already has a career in mind he can walk into, even if it's shitty. A degree would get her a better job, which equals more money, which equals less struggling.

The circumstances in which she acquired Sherry weren't ideal or even in the radar of imagination, but she knows she's not in a position to keep her. Not at 19. If Claire dropped everything, what kind of job could she get that could support them? Would an apartment even sign her? What about balancing work with Sherry going to school? What about balancing school and work with Sherry's schooling? What if Annette was right and Sherry wasn't completely healed? What if something happened to her later like it did with Steve? What does putting Leon there add? Another check but with higher bills and another mouth to feed? Who knows!

There's also a lot of angles to play with if Claire does raise Sherry. Does she lose all those scholarships and drop the degree goal to avoid paying out of pocket? Does the government learn about her experience in both RC and Rockfort and decide to leverage her in exchange for paying for everything? Does Leon catch sight of her at his training facility and become devastated knowing the same thing happened to her? Does she lie to Chris about being able to keep those scholarships while working for the government?

Or does she get off scott-free and STILL loses those scholarships to end up working somewhere she can network? Does she still end up at TerraSave due to those connections? How is she minding Sherry now that she has to travel out state or out of country somewhat often? Is she taking her with her and thus making Sherry miss school, or is Sherry staying with a friend or a babysitter? How does this affect Sherry's development? What happens the first time Sherry gets a serious injury only for them both to watch it heal on the way to the hospital? What does Claire do? Where can she take Sherry? Do they walk out of the ambulance like nothing happened?

Or does she never end up at TerraSave or with the government and ends up in a mirror position of where she was when she was a kid? Is she alone raising Sherry with just enough money to pay bills and put food on the table with nothing else? Does she stretch this for as long as she can until Chris finds out? When Chris finds out, does he immediately roll her into the BSAA? How does she adjust? How does Sherry adjust? Do they move out of country?

What about if she keeps all her scholarships? How does she get the apartment? What role does Leon play with financial support since his job was holding Sherry over his head? Is he ever there? How does Claire's schedule clash with Sherry's schedule when she can't delay taking a required class for her degree anymore due to the timing? How late is Sherry stuck at school until Claire finishes the lesson and breaks the speed limit to pick Sherry up? How late is Sherry getting to school if she doesn't take the bus? Is Sherry bullied for it? Who's name is the apartment in? Chris' or Leon's? One of theirs hopefully so that if Claire misses a payment, she's not left in the red.

There's just so much here! There's so much to think about and play with other than, Claire and Leon and Sherry moved in together and everything was fine! What effect does this have on Claire! What happened to her! How does she handle this when she's never been a caretaker before no less a mother! Let's go people!!!!!!!

[dross-the-fish]

I'm glad to see someone over 30 so passionate about making fanart and fanfic. I'll be twenty soon and I have anxiety about getting older.

I did too when I was your age. I think my early-mid 20's was the most stressful part of my life. I got dropped onto this huge learning curve where I didn't know anything but was somehow expected to just transition from a teenager to a full blown responsible adult and drop everything I enjoyed in exchange for taking on a 9-5, paying bills and trying to form relationships.

For a while I was miserable, I was doing everything "right" and hitting all the milestones that made me an "adult" but I had stopped doing all the things that brought me joy. After running myself so ragged I endangered my health I finally realized that making myself unhappy wasn't actually benefiting me or anyone else so I started picking up my favorite hobbies again. I play DnD, fiddle with my old lego sets and I write and draw for fun. I still do my 9-5 and pay my bills but afterwards I pour my coffee into my batman mug and watch my favorite episodes of Batman TAS. I'm all grown up and I'm in my own house, who's going to give me a hard time about it?

You will change, you'll lose interest in some of the things you like now and the things you keep you'll enjoy differently when you're older but if you're truly meant to outgrow something it will happen organically and it won't feel like you're depriving yourself.

Things are hard, things are stressful, and you're about to hit one of life's bumpiest stretches of the road, don't make the journey harder than it needs to be by forcing yourself to put your favorite things away before you're ready to let them go. Life should get better, not worse, as you get older.

I wish you luck and I hope when you hit 30 you feel less afraid of it than you do 20 now.

[thewickerking]

also like. As someone specifically who's been poor my entire life and homeless and currently being threatened with it again, who's lost family connections and money and opportunities for the crime of not being entirely white and relying on the systems people make fun of and never have to experience. Like. Mocking people (like myself!!!!) for struggling is gonna make me hate you. Haha homelessness. Okay do you know how traumatic it is? When you're fucking 2 years old? When you're 4? All the while being groomed by an adult man? Do you know whats its like to lose all your belongings because the cops fucking hate you and don't give them back? Do you know what its like to finally get a hotel or apartment for a month and have it be such a health hazard with mold and mushrooms growing bigger than your fist and more types of bugs than you count and having to toss out some of your few belongings because theyre infected and infested beyond repair? Haha school shootings. Cool do you know how terrifying it is to narrowly avoid the everpresent middle school gangs only for your younger sibling to be forced to be involved with a high school gang? Do you know what it's like when there's danger in getting an education and seeing the person you want to protect more than anything slip into that? It's not fucking funny when you get a text that your brother thinks he's gonna be fucking murdered after school and wants you to know that he loves you like youll never speak again? Haha dumb country bums. Okay what about when it's the people who are supposed to be your family and support and love you calling you racial slurs? What if you still kind of care about them? What about when there's fucking tornadoes near them and they live in trailers with zero support or basement or safety and they don't have access to anything else? Imagine seeing a news article about it and your heart sinking when they live near by and you don't talk much cause they're racist, but you don't even know if they're alive?? Haha Trump. Did you watch your mother break down crying on the phone, begging her father to not go back to Latin america because she was scared he would never come back? Do you look at news articles of deaths and search for your last name and hope it's not family? Have you been to detention camps? They don't let you go in but the outside paints a bleak picture, and youve studied pictures before. Its torture. Pictures of israeli camps look painfully similsr. You almost got lost on the way there because it's so isolated. They intentionally built it miles from bus stops. They don't warn people of their release and release them, offering no help or way to get even a ride to somewhere that's not long stretches of empty fields. Haha bad healthcare. Have you sat with your mother on hold for hours upon hours for services, just to be denied? Have you seen your mother fight insurance for months to not have to pay for her eight year olds psych ward stay cause he tried to kill himself? Have you seen her face that thousands of dollars bill and see her calculate if she would have to be homeless again? Have you had to cook for her cause she's struggling to stand? For years? Have you participated in studies so you have enough money for groceries that month? Have you cycled through over 10 therapists because they give the poor patients underpaid interns that quit within a year? Have you almost died at the hospital? Twice? And despite it all we give food and money to homeless people as often as we have it (not often). I've attended more protests than I can count. Protests, marches, rallies, even parades. We boycott despite not being able to afford the alternatives. There's so much I and so many other people do to fight and try to better things. But haha americans are dumb and one time someone was mean to me so I think you all deserve to die because your government hates you 🤗 ill kill myself in front of you to change the trajectory of your life forever, don't test me. I will do it. I'll buy a ticket to Europe just for that

[changingplumbob]

Pancake Household: Chapter 9, Part 2

Are we hosting a dinner party because we need to increase our charisma level? Why yes we are

CW: Unicorn zombie with minor carton gore

Nicknames: Bob = Sleek, Eliza = Jumble

Onyx: Alright Ginger, are you ready for the best walk of your life

Fergus: I don’t know that she is

Onyx: Well I’ll put on her harness, then she’ll get in the zone. I’m always in the zone when I put on my cheer outfit

Fergus: Remember mother said the dinner party will start at 5

Onyx: And she’ll never let me forget if I’m late, thank Fergus, I’ll set some alarms on my phone

Following his afternoon romp in bed with Eliza, Bob pulls on his robe and heads to the kitchen to start baking. First up, some bread and butter puddings. While they cook he cleans out the fridge when he hears strange sounds coming from the lounge.

Bob: Umm… hello?

Fergus: Sorry dad, just me. We’re meant to practice acting out animals this week

Bob: Right…

As he checks on the puddings he hears Fergus continue to make fake chimp noises mixed with bizarre howling. He’s not sure what animal his son is trying to impersonate but he’s not going to let Fergus know that.

Bob should probably do a livestream to work on his fame but he knows Eliza would kill him if he did a video in his sleepwear. Eliza may like the way he looks when he’s taking care of himself but that doesn’t mean she wants him sharing that with the world. He makes cottage pie and shepherds pie and to be honest once they’re done they look exactly the same.

The walk went well and once back home it’s Ginger time!

Onyx: What trick did we start on last time? Was it shake or lie down?

Ginger: *barks* lie down

Onyx: Give me your paw, shake

Ginger: *barks* nope

Onyx: Lie down Ginger, lie down

Ginger: *barks and lies down* I got this

Onyx: Well done! Another trick learned

Dinner party time! Guests arrive and Carson tries to give me a heart attack by almost having an asthma attack. Ginger has a snooze on her favourite camouflage surface. Everyone heads into the kitchen. There’s only enough seats for the adults though so the teens and Fergus take their servings into the lounge to eat while the parents have time to catch up.

Harvey: This is good! I mean I was expecting some classy nibbly bits

Eliza: My husband serves meals, he’d rather people were full than fancy

Calista: An excellent philosophy

Kayleigh: I don’t suppose you could tell us how you got such a rich taste in this

Bob: Sure. It’ll be on page 42 of my next book

Aaron: Why tell people at all

Eliza: The royalties pay the bills

Harvey: Perhaps but if you tell too many people how will you launch the restaurant

Bob: I’ll figure it out

Artemisia: Your dad always make great food. Fergus you should bring me leftovers for lunch after you age up

Fergus: I’m trying to, I want to get to high school

Onyx: It’s not that fabulous

Carson: You just say that because Mr A doesn’t like us

Onyx: Apparently there’s been a renovation over break, I guess I’m excited to see that

Artemisia: Oh and Fergus you’ll have to meet Roger so you know who to throw paper airplanes at

Onyx: Real mature

Artemisia: May as well use the “I’m young and don’t know what I’m doing” excuse while I can

Fergus: Hey Ginger, want some food?

Ginger: *whines* For me? You shouldn’t have

Artemisia: I can’t believe you’re just throwing food on the floor Fergus

Onyx: You’ve no problem tormenting some kid but you draw the line at food on the floor

Artemisia: *sighs* I don’t torment him and he started it by making fun of my dyslexia

Onyx: So those weeks that you both needed to be collected by parents at home time were because you were too kind to him

Artemisia: It’s because he’s a peacocking coward

Bob: Besides, I haven’t settled on a restaurant theme yet

Kayleigh: But a restaurant is still the plan

Eliza: Eventually. He wants to reach the top of the career ladder first

Calista: Maybe you should work at that level for a while Bob, a restaurant must be a lot of money

Harvey: Just remember it’s cheapest to catch your own fish

Aaron: Why can you bring every topic back to fish

Bob: It’s his secret talent

Kayleigh: Wish it would be a little more secret sometimes

Harvey: When did this become “pick on Harvey” dinner

Eliza: Supply costs will be a big thing to consider though, and location

Calista: Well the bay here seems lovely

Harvey: Plus you get good fishing here

Aaron: Will you offer friend discounts

Eliza: The idea is to make a profit

Calista: Your business experience should be helpful

Bob: She is the perfect partner

Harvey: Smooth

Calista: That dinner was delicious, grazie Bob

Eliza: He’s a pretty perfect partner to, I don’t have to lift a finger in the kitchen

Onyx: Hello mother may I take your plate to clean

Aaron: What are they trying to convince you of now

Eliza: They want a horse, don’t you Onyx?

Onyx: Yes! So I’m showing I can help out, oh and I walked Ginger earlier

Eliza: Well done

Fergus: Do we have time to play some MySims racing before Emi goes home

Bob: I should think so, I made dessert after all

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