#got a school project done toooo

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

♡Weekly Chronicles♡

Hey babesssss I have missed writing weekly chronicles updating you girlies on my life so here we are and welcome to my new babesss<3333

♡Education♡

The semester has been so gooddd so far! I am super strict on myself when it comes to homework and studying I like the fact I am taking this semester so seriously it makes me feel ahead of the game. At the beginning of the semester, I had trouble getting my hobbies done and I didn't want school to take over my entire life. I was able to reorganize my schedule so that I could fit in my hobbies and self-care days. I had to drop a class because it was toooo much taking 18 credits worth of classes this semester was alottt but I'm pushing myself to meet my credit requirement for my degree before graduation in 2025. 

♡Mental♡

I am doing well mentally. Last month was very hard on me mentally because I put in the refill order for my antidepressant so late. I was off of my antidepressants for a week which caused a huge imbalance within my body. It was a literal emotional rollercoaster I would feel really good for a couple of days and then really sad for a few days. But I made it through I kept taking my medication consistently once I got my refill now I am back to normal. So pro tip do not get your refills late lol. Other than that I've been journaling, tracking my emotions, and reading affirmations daily.

♡Physical♡

I started doing yoga recently which has definitely been a game changer. When I am feeling overstimulated or anxious I put on a yoga video on YouTube and follow along. I prefer videos that have no music and then I play rain sounds or brown noise as I follow along to relax my brain when I'm done I feel so good. Ramadan has officially started so I created a workout playlist that is similar to the workouts I was doing before Ramadan but instead, these are much slower and lower in intensity they will still help me reach my body goals. During this month I’ll be fasting for 30 days so I am doing OMAD(one meal a day) which I don’t mind I've done it before and have seen amazing results. There are so many benefits of fasting I'll link an article if you're interested in learning more about Ramadan and the benefits of fasting.

♡Hobbies♡

I have been very consistent with my Italian on Duolingo I started a 100-day challenge so I can hit a 100-day streak and I'll throw myself a little duo party lol. I am learning that it is okay to celebrate your little achievements. Blogging has been one of my favorite hobbies I've been super consistent with posting on here for you ladiessss. Let me know what other content you want to see. I started a new writing project which I am so excited and anxious about but I can't wait to share once everything is settled. I also have been on Amazon creating a list for my YouTube set up<3333 Expect to start seeing content in June I am so excited to start content creating again! I will be doing a lot of chit-chat videos on topics similar to what I have been posting on my blog, vlogging, and so much more. My other hobbies I have been keeping up with are reading, playing games, recipe keeping, pilates, and weight lifting. 

I love chatting with you babes and want you girls to chat back<3 So let me know what you have planned for this weekend and how was your week. Love you babes we are almost at 500 followers<3

[delcakoo]

EJKAAKKSMS KOOOOOOOOO

i’ve been okay, nothing too crazy. AND IDK WHY YIU COULDNT FIND ME????

also i got my first kpop album from my bsf for christmas but my parents are going to incarcerate me if i display ir so nayeon is flat under my papers in my drawer :(

but it’s almost SRPING BREAK IN 2 DAYS AND OMG IM WAITINGGGG. THIS BITCH BEEN TOOOO STRESSFUL ☹️

and omg i have to tell u ab my annoying ass teachers

so like first my english teacher. SHE PICKS ON ME FOR NO REAOSNJSKSKSM

like so i asked her to go to the bathroom at the beginning of the period and she was like talking to someone kinda but i did. the bathroom sign and she said “just go” so i went and when i came back she was talking about the musical at our school and she saw me and was like “kuma (my real name) we’ve had this conversation before (NO WE HAVE NOT) you should not be going to the bathroom w/o my permission 😡🤓🤓☝️☝️” DHSISK WHAT

I DID ASK FOR PERMISSION AND I ALWAYS ASK FOR PERMISSION LIKE WHY ON THAT DAY SPECIFICALLY WOULD I NOT ASK ☠️💥💥💥💥🤬🤬🤬

anyways i told her i was like “but i did ask and u said yes?!?!!1!1!1!” and she was like “I DID?! 🫢🤯🤔🤔🤔🤔” and i said yeah AND THREE ITHER PEOPLE WERE LIKE “YES I SAW HER GO UP N ASK” AND SHE WAS LIKE “well no go sit down the next time this happens is a lunch detention” WHATSOAJ

SHE PICKS ON ME FOR NO REASONDMWKSOS AND SHE DID THIS PUBLICLY TOO LIKE INFRONT OF EVERYONE AND THERES RHIS LIRRLE GREMILIN ASS BUTCH AND YKW HIS NAME IS CLOSE TO GREMLIN SO WERE CALLING HIM GREMLIN AND SO GREMLIN KEPT LAUGHING LIKE MOTHERUFKER YOUVE BEEN EMBARRASED OUBLICLY TOO LIKE STFUDJKSKSKS

AND ALSO ONE DAY I WAS ABSENT RIGHT AND I HAD HER CLASS THAT DAY AND SHE ASSIGNED SOMETHING BUT I WASNT ANLE RO DO IT BECAUSENI HAD 2 OTHER PROJECTS THAT TOOK SO LOBG SO THE 2 DAYS AFTER I HAD HER CLASS AND I ASKED FOR HELP ON IT AND SHE WAS LIKE “y didn’t u do it yesterday? 🤔☝️☝️” and i said “oh bc i had like 2 other big projects to do so last night when i finished them it would be past midnight so i couldn’t do it” snd this bthc goes “😐🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️” OH MSGSHBDJSN

and guess what. gremlin laughs AGAIN.

anyways thats enough for today 🤪🤪🤪 hru 🌸🍥💕‼️

WHATT UR PARENTS R NAYEON ANTIS??! LMAO WHY 😭😭 and omg ur teacher sounds so miserable damn U CANT EVEN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYMORE… 😕 GOOD THING UR CLASSMATES STOOD UP FOR U AT LEAST GEEZ IM SO SORRY U HAVE TO DEAL W THAT BAE 👎👎👎

SND IM SO GOOD my friend just left after a sleepover so now i’m chilling n’ having lunch!! probably going to watch avatar w my friend soon andddd get some writing done if my brain works ‼️‼️🫶🫶

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

essay rant

i have an entire essay to rewrite due at 310 today......i have to rewrite it cause the original i got a 17/31 on it cause not only was it the week before thanksgiving but i had so many projects due that week and medical things going on. my ENTIRE CLASS has to rewrite it cause no one got higher than a 70. and my teacher refuses to curve it or anything! i havent done any work on it so far either i think im gonna ask for an extension for the revision to be due tomorrow end of day cause i have wayyyy too much to do and toooo little time to do it. ugh i hate school....

[amelia-yap]

saw this going around so like why not

[daggerzine]

Tony Potts of The Monochrome Set gives us the details! (interview by Steve Michener)

I started writing a weekly post on Facebook about two years ago, wherein I would pick a song from the extensive catalog of The Monochrome Set and write a few words, trying to hep people to their fantastic music. It became a fun, online conversation with friends and fans and the band would sometimes join in, adding to the story or correcting my (frequent) historical errors.  I was presenting myself as a TMS scholar when I was really just a doofus with a love for the music. The FB feature eventually led to my volunteering to drive the band on the West Coast swing of their recent US tour, which was a total blast. 

 Recently, I came up with the idea of interviewing various members of the band and when I initially hit upon this plan, the first person I thought of was Tony Potts, their early ‘5th member.'  Tony added another dimension to the band’s early shows by projecting films onto screens (and sometimes the band), helping to differentiate the band in the crowded post-punk music scene of the late 70s/early 80s England. I never personally saw any early TMS shows so I missed out on his contributions until last year when  I attended the TMS 40th anniversary shows in London and got to experience his visuals along with the music (albeit from a laptop now instead of a Super 8 film). I’ve always been intrigued by his role with the group and he was nice enough to answer some of my email questions about the early days of the band, his art, and, of course, his favorite TMS song. Tony’s Facebook page is one of the most entertaining around; he doesn’t hold back much, whether it’s about his cancer diagnosis, politics, or the state of the Great Western Railroad. TMSF and now Dagger Zine present the Weird, Wild and Wonderful World of Tony Potts!

That’s Tony far right  

 Q: How did you come to be involved with the Monochrome Set? What drew you to them and them to you?

 Ah, now there are two answers to this question. The first is terse and accurate, although less interesting than the second. Well, I knew John, J.D. Haney. That's the terse answer. However, in the interests of interest, and name-dropping, we have to travel back to about 1974. The story illustrates I think, how our lives are built upon great swaths of happenstance.

While studying on my pre-degree arts foundation I became close friends with Edwin, later Savage Pencil, who later still formed The Art Attacks. After some itinerant drummers, including Ricky Slaughter of The Motors, and Robert Gotobed of Wire, JD became the Art Attacks drummer. Now, Edwin didn't know him, so I can only guess, at this great distance, that I put his name forward. But again, we must spool back in time. How did I know John? After Edwin left for London, and still at my provincial art school, I became good friends with two fellow student artists like myself, Andy Palmer and Joy Haney. They both became founder members of Crass, under the names N A Palmer and Joy De Vivre, and are now exceptionally good fine artists.

It was through my friendship with Joy that I meet her brother, the aforementioned JD, when he came down from university in the summer of '76. We hung out with his college chum, Jean-Marie Carroll, later to join The Members, and discussed narrow neckties and casual trousers. Then Joy, Andy, and I went off to the Greek islands for the summer, before returning to London to take up our degree course at Chelsea School of Art.

Thus it was, with us all now in London, that I believe I introduced JD to The Art Attacks, with whom I worked until their demise, at which point JD took up with TMS. Due to mutual creative interests in art, I was invited to display my films at their gigs. That was late '78, with my first gig with the band being at Acklam Hall, Notting Hill, on 22nd February 1979. Thereafter we fell together and I started to make films specifically for the live shows. It’s worth pointing out that the TMS was not formed in an art school, or by art students. It is lazy journalism that perpetuates the Art School band epithet. Both Bid, the main song writing power behind the longevity of the band, and the other key lyricist, JD Haney, have never been anywhere near an art school.

 Q: What were your films like? Who were your art-school influences at the time? What were you doing with the Art Attacks?

 I was studying fine art painting, and painting was my main interest. Although I loved films, I never expected to move in that direction. As a painter, I was a devotee of the Russian Constructivists like Tatlin, but mostly the geometric forms of El Lissitzky, and the Suprematist Kazimir Malevich - best known for Black Square and White On White. My paintings were an amalgam of geometric forms in the vein of Lissitzky on grounds inspired by Malevich's painterly surfaces. With the rise of the Punk movement in London, I somewhat changed direction, moving into filmmaking that had a quasi-narrative style, intended to be more emotional and poetic. Although driven by what was happening in music during ‘76/'77/'78, ironically, my films couldn't be any less punk if I tried. Well, not to punks anyway. These days I regret that I never resuscitated my painting practice.

At the time of the Acklam Hall gig, I had made one large scale Super8, and two 16mm works. I think it must have been 'Strange Meeting', which in part was about aliens and The Red Army Faction murders, which we showed at that gig, but as a support. I had previously made some other 8mm films, and I might have used them during the band, but I can't recall. However, I now have vague memories of projecting B & W film over the whole stage and band. With The Art Attacks, I didn't have a creative role, I just supported the band in rehearsal and at gigs with Paul Humphries their manager, and the initial manager of TMS. Paul, JD and I all shared the same squat in Brailsford Road, Brixton. So, with TMS I had something more creative to do.

 Q: For those of us who weren't able to see those shows, describe for us what you were doing with the films during the shows. How were the films received by the audience?

 As I said, initially I used the films that I had made in another context, and they were added to the performance to create an overall ambiance, a statement of presentation that was not about a band energetically leaping about on stage, as was the order of the day. Soon I started to make Super8 material specifically for TMS performances. This included the scratched and bleached footage for 'Lester Leaps In', or images filmed on the road, like the Berlin footage used for ‘Viva Death Row’, or staged material of the band getting up to also sorts of antics, like the beach ball larks and bits of animations I would make with no specific aim. In the early days, I made two roller blind screens in long boxes, [we took them on the first two US tours] with one on either side of the stage as space allowed, with film projected onto them so the band members were often in silhouette, although it bled onto them also. The stage was very dark, lit by blue footlights, which I made. I think Mark Perry of Sniffing Glue/Alternative TV said something like it was the most brilliantly depressing thing he had seen. That was always the irony at that time, the music was pert and poppy and uplifting, but the show wasn't. What a laugh, we all thought.

 The shows became increasingly more elaborate with more screens, more projectors and a theatrical lighting rig. At this time we were using Ground Control, Bowie's original PA, run by a lovely guy called Robin Mayhew. Using the theatre lights allowed me to focus and shape controlled beams of light exactly where I wanted them. For example, I could just illuminate Bid's face or other small areas with geometric shapes, while leaving the stage largely unlit. Then the film screens could glow and flicker in the dark. The lads tended not to move a great deal. A tradition assiduously upheld by Mr. Warren.

 As to reception, well some people liked it, and others couldn't see the point. I think it mostly worked as a spectacle, an integrated whole, a total experience, but for those just into the music, it was probably irrelevant. I mean, they are a great band, so nobody missed me when I didn't set up, like at the M80. That stage was toooo big, man.

Bid and Tony 

 Q; As the 'Fifth Member' whose focus seemed to have been on the live performances, how did you fit in with the band in the recording studio?

 Yes, my key role was the live performance; anything else was a bonus for me. I was at all recordings from the second Rough Trade single to the end of the second album, as an enthusiastic supporter and admirer. Of course, I chipped in with the odd suggestion or noise and was probably ignored where and when necessary. Being musically incompetent, my timing is off by a good margin so I'm not sure my handclaps ever made a final mix. You can hear me on TWWWWofTP. I've got quite a pleasant singing voice, also, just not in public. Bid once marked out the chord changes for Ici Les Enfants on a plastic organ I had, to fill out the live sound, but after the first chord change, I was lost and bewildered.

 Q: You've done promotional videos for the band. Can you talk about a few of those projects? Do you have a favorite video?

 The first promotional film I made was the one for Dindisc, and called Strange Boutique, not after the title of the first album as many think, but coincidentally, after the name of a pair of corduroy trousers! Actually, that may not be true. So, this was conceived as a short film, with two songs and a Rod Serling type piece to camera as a linking devise. Done on the very cheap. Unfortunately, there were syncing issues with some of the dialogue and the master got damaged, scratched, and I'm not sure if I still have the original film, or not. It's on our DVD as a complete piece as far as I remember, but it turns up on YouTube, usually cut down to either of the two songs LSD and Strange Boutique, without all the linking material.

We then waited a long time until I was commissioned by WEA to make the promo for 'Jacob's Ladder' with the release of 'The Lost Weekend' album. The deal was negotiated from a public phone box on Clapham Common tube station. It was somewhat compromised by cock-ups at WEA which meant I was forced to hand it over before it was fully edited to my satisfaction. I seem to have made a style out of technical imperfections; at least that's what I'm saying. At the time Top of the Pops had a video preview section, and a short clip of Jacob's Ladder was shown. That’s primetime TV, folks!

And then, of course, I was delighted when Bid asked me to make the official MaisieWorld video for ‘I Feel Fine’, which I was very pleased with. All these projects were very personal to me, not just the execution of a job, and the first two were part of my life at the time of making.

 Q. The only footage I've seen of you actually playing with the band is the Old Grey Whistle Test TV spot. Was it common for you to join the band onstage?

 Well, I was usually visible on stage, controlling the projectors, which needed constant manipulation, like a DJ scratching, changing speed and switching images, fading and mixing. Also, there might be some little set piece we had devised, which required me to do something. At one point, during the Ground Control days, I remember I had my own mic so I could interact with the stage, which didn't last that long. So, to some extent, I always had a relationship with the stage as both performer and technician. Once, when Lester Square had had enough, I did perform the encore, He's Frank, by incessantly plucking one string of his guitar. Pretty good, actually! Music and Maths very similar to my mind, no sooner do I believe that I have mastered the execution of some small calculation, but I soon discover that I haven't.

Don’t shake the ladder, Tony gettin’ down to work. 

Q: Tell us about your film education and your career in film and video outside the band.

 I made a living of sorts working commercially in film and video production, and teaching, but as I mentioned before, I actually trained in fine art. My art foundation took a very academic approach and involved copious hours of life drawing and other drawing classes, while being given time to develop one's own particular discipline and style.

I made one Super8 film based on geometric elements in my painting. I had made three other 8mm film before this. It wasn't until I was on my degree course that I started making more moving image work, but this stemmed from a fine art perspective, so I didn't ever have any film school type training. My own work I would categorise as poetic experimentalism, that is under the general umbrella of artist film and video. Just a reminder that you can catch up with lots more detail of everything I've said at my website, http://tonypottsloopform.altervista.org. Although it has all the history of the films and staging, as well as the making of Jacob's Ladder, it's rather old and not up-to-date. That site includes all the art projects I've worked on, the history of TMS film, and my own films. My creative life can be divided into three separate but overlapping strands. The first being, my personal practice as an artist/film maker, the second, my skills and knowledge deployed in the service of collective artworks and community arts projects, and those same skills employed commercially in film and video production and teaching.

 Q: It's obvious from FB that you are a big film fan. Who are some of your favorite directors/favorite movies?

 With a few exceptions, I'm not much interested in modern Hollywood, old Hollywood is better, and pre-Hays better still. My film tastes are somewhat esoteric for most folks. I prefer silent film, particularly that of the classic German period of the twenties, Lang, Murnau, Pabst, Dreyer. Then in the sixties, PP Pasolini, Robert Bresson, Akira Kurosawa, soviet era Tarkosky and Parajhanov, plus a host of even less well know eastern European directors like Miklos Jancso, Jan Nemec, or Frantisek Vlacil. Don't you wish you'd never asked?

 Q. You live in Wales, pretty far away from the London of your youth. How did you end up there and what appeals to you living there?

 Well, we split our time between London and Pembrokeshire at present, while my wife Rachael is still working. In a few years, we'll move out completely, I think. I can't relax in the city anymore. I need some more space to feel comfortable. I've had as much London as I can handle. Rachael is Welsh, although Pembrokeshire is known as little England beyond Wales, and we are fortunate to own her childhood home there.

 Q. You were recently diagnosed with cancer and posted your experience on Facebook. How did you discover that you had cancer and how are you doing now?

 Yes, that was unfortunate. The prostate gets larger as us men grow older and so puts a bit of pressure on the bladder, changing the way you take a pee, like urgency and frequency. So any chap of a certain age should cut along to a doctor if they have persistent symptoms of this type. Our neighbour in Wales insists on calling it prostrate cancer, but I refuse to take that lying down, and firmly pronounce it prostate, but to no avail. But seriously, although it's a slow-growing cancer, the sooner you act, the sooner you can get the appropriate treatment. I had to have surgery, but it's not necessary for everyone. As my cousin, who luck would have it is a cancer specialist said, do you want to be erect or dead? Haha, what a great choice!

 Q: Since this is a TMSF, after all, can you pick a favorite song and say a few words about it?

 My choice of song to end this pleasant excursion is 'The Devil Rides Out', from the 'Eligible Bachelors' album. By the time of recording this record JD had left the band and was living in NY, and I was also spending a great deal of time in that city also. I was still contributing to the occasional gig or short tour, but I certainly wasn't around when this album was recorded. Christ, what do you expect for a record made in Luton?

So it is the live performances of this song that I recall, since it was in the repertoire well ahead of it being recorded. Although I could say it of many other songs, the open chords of 'The Devil Rides Out' always gave me a buzz as I waited to play in whatever the film images were [I can't remember]. Even if the audience or critics found the films superfluous or unimportant, I usually enjoyed watching the way that a set of otherwise unrelated images somehow meshed and synchronised with the music and gave the illusion of a premeditated vision. Of course, it was premeditated in as much as I knew what pieces of film would be used for a particular song, but beyond that, there was a lot of slack in the system. With the various parameters of the live installation, having to follow the cue of the band and the hand manipulating the projectors [no computers], there were great possibilities that the extemporisation would result in entirely unique sets of images and sound on each occasion.

Well, I should say something about why I like the song. It's one of a number of Bid's more esoteric lyrical compositions. He had previously pushed the Latin boat out with Adeste Fideles [not everyone's favourite song title to pronounce], and my spell checker isn't too keen on the words, either. In this case, the bridging line is rendered in Latin, but with the exception of the 'Hails', this is written in the ancient language of Sanskrit. Or at least that is my understanding and belief. Whatever the lyrical origins are, this is a classic TMS arrangement, altogether thrilling, incomprehensible and mysterious, yet totally pop, totally accessible and it dumps from a very great height those chart-topping household names who have followed in their wake.

And of course, I can never resist a song that features a sleigh bell, The Devil Rides Out and The Stooges 'I Wanna Be Your Dog' being the two finest examples.

http://tonypottsloopform.altervista.org

www.themonochromeset.co.uk 

www.tapeterecords.de

www.facebook.com/themonochromeset

[nimuulap]

[ 5 things I enjoy about myself ]

tagged by the lovely @yuuris-piano ! <3

My stubbornness; honestly man, without if I wasn’t as stubborn as I am right now, I wouldn’t be an artist and I wouldn’t have accomplished so much. I’m grateful that I have the ability to hang on even when I really want to give up or when it feels like I’m up against the world. I see a lot of amazing people let go of projects or just don’t continue something because they’ve given up and don’t feel like they can do it;;; and when I was younger, I didn’t understand why because not giving up just seemed like a simple concept for me back then. Now that I’m older, I understand what those people went through and how it must have hurt, but at the same time, I want to learn from those experiences and keep fighting in order to accomplish what I want to accomplish! <3

My friends and family; asdfjk; i love them TTOTT I can’t begin to describe how grateful I am to have ended up in such an environment with so many supportive and wonderful people ;v;;; Even if I sometimes hate what my parents do or if we end up fighting, in the end, it gets resolved. On top of that, it’s because of our flaws that I’m able to become stronger. You don’t want to live in an environment that’s toooo strict, but it can’t be tooo laid-back. My family fits in the middle :’D My friends are honestly such blessings;;; both online and in real life;;; There’s been so many times I’ve felt down, but they were there to bring me back up. In recent years, I’ve started to doubt myself more, but they’re the ones who reassure me constantly without knowing that they’re doing it :’> sometimes even just talking to them about my thoughts just makes my life so much better. And they write the sweetest birthday cards?? Like some of them are writing novels in tiny little cards asdfjk; and I’m just so touched whenever they tell me how much I’ve done for them (so I write essays as well in birthday cards because they need to know how much they mean to me adsjfk). I would be still in doubt about going into animation if it weren’t for my friends and family. I’d still be in doubt or maybe stuck with my current doujin if it weren’t for the friends that kept telling me that I can do it :’>

Character development?? I just feel like everything happened for a reason. I entered high school all optimistic and enthusiastic, then I fell apart after a year, but then I was “reborn” after watching yuri on ice and just interacting with a fandom again :’> I just feel like I’ve become stronger as a person in these past few years. It wasn’t an easy journey, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I learned how to be more confident, more grateful and happier.

Experience; adsfjk; this sounds so weird but whenever I’m put in a certain art environment, whether it’s at school in art class, or at a local drawing thing, I feel confident just because of my experiences. My free time is only made up of drawing, and just having the experience with commissions, different drawing tasks, conventions, zines and other art-related events or projects... I just makes you feel a bit special on the inside because not everyone gets to experience all of those :’> And it’s not only drawing; it’s coding, layout, posters, graphic design, music videos and just a lot of different projects. One that I’ll never forget was when I had to create an illustrated music video for improvised piano and god that was difficult. It took me such a long time to think of a story, and I just can’t work with piano jazz sometimes adsfjkl;;;; but in the end, the person who hired me was happy with the outcome, and I even got interviewed a few months later ;v;;; So wherever I am, I feel confident about my skills (most of the time??) because of that foundation. Usually, that confidence has an effect on my drawings as well (more confident lines, i’m calm when drawing, etc.)

My social skills; I used to be that really annoying kid in elementary school who also complained about having no friends... So I’m surprised to be where I am now. In most environments, I know how to act in order to get on people’s good sides... But I don’t do it all the time because there’s some people that I’d prefer not be on their good sides ahaha :> Nonetheless, I’m still kind of awkward around some people that I don’t talk to often. But in general, I’m nowhere near concerned about having no friends. I also don’t encounter friendship problems now anymore, and I no longer have any “fake friends”, so I’m pretty happy with where I ended up in my social life! So happy I don’t even notice or remember the mean people ahaha

[kutorambles]

So like huh I was thinking about what still keeps me from being as productive as I should be ( these last few days/weeks specifically have been just terrible at getting anything done )  So I was pointing out to myself that once I actually get into drawing something, I tend to enjoy it. Just gotta get it going first, once I have a goal set and just need to get it done, it can happen. So then  the issue would just be with getting inspiration, ideas to work from, getting projects started and all. 

Counterpoint to that : I usually get that thought when I doodle random crap in my sketchbook after failing to get any real work done. Sooo like of course getting into a doodlin’ groove tends to be enjoyable but it doesn’t apply to more serious work : I get to that point precisely after failing to get working on stuff I actually should be doing.  It’s not like I have nothing to do : Got assignments for school, hints of personnal projects I’ve been meaning to dig into, buncha stuff. Blaming procrastination on lack of ideas is juuuust a lazy excuse. 

Not too sure what’s keeping me from working that much then ?  Video games  has  been a big thing lately. ( Always an issue when I’m on break and go back to my parents’ place. Definitely gonna need to start off 2018 with uninstalling every game again. ) Generally would like to work on being offline a bit more this year toooo. Need to be using my computer mostly for work and muuuuch much less for pointless internet browsing.  Could be a first step to learning to focus more. I’m pretty sure lack of focus is the biggest issue in my lack of work, I feel like I haven’t been able to work consistently at full focus on something. Distractons distractions distractions. Then making up more distractions just to avoid working. 

Heck, getting distracted off that rant right now, not sure where I’m going with it. I’m still wasting way too much time, could be and should be a lot more efficient with everything, and really wish I can start improving on that ? Definitely the kind of thing I say literally every year but I still haven’t managed to get to it sooooo.  Then again, maybe the first issue to fix would be pure motivation and getting back to actually wanting to work more often. Don’t know how to do that though so I’ll probably just keep trying to force myself into that.

Maybe in 2018 I’ll manage to make my rants clearer too ! Though ideally I should quit ranting because blah to that it’s always the same shit I keep not fixing because apparently I waste my time ranting instead.

Anyways Spongebob season 4 really has some kind of decrease in quality but I can’t tell how biased I am from everyone else hating it. 

( Everything I said is obnoxious and barely understandable and pointless but I don’t know how to fix it so I guess I’m giving up on this as well whoops ) 

[itsthemxze]

i have a request from your halloween writing!!!!! VAMPIRE!LUKE PLEASE since last night I'm sobbing for read something about it

(Hello anon I heed your call, can’t guarantee it’s good though, Happy Halloween!)

“Look there he is,” your friend urgently whispered while pointing at Luke, the most attractive but also weirdest kid at your school. He always wears sunglasses, and is rarely seen outdoors. Which maybe just sounds like ever other antisocial teen but there was just something else about him, something unnatural. 

“Go for it, you can’t just ignore him,” your other friend said. 

“But I don’t want toooo,” you sighed as you walked over to him, people giving you looks the closer you got to Luke. 

“Hey, um, Luke. I was wondering when we were gonna get together to do the project we were set, for chemistry.”

After a long awkward minute he finally turned and said “Be at mine at 6, might as well get it over with.” 

As soon as he’d left one of his few friends, Michael, turned to you as well.

“Sorry about him, can be a bit bunt sometimes. Anyway, here’s his address, which he conveniently forgot,”  he stated while rolling his eyes. 

“Oooo, yikes. You have to go to his. We’ll pray for you.” 

“And gather the Holy water!” Your friends all giggled their way to class, laughing at your great misfortune. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your walked lightly up to the door of Luke’s house, hand shaking as you reached for the door. You were really going into the school weirdo’s house. 

Luke opened soon after you’d knocked and held the door for you, leading you into a well lit hallway, decorated with photos of a happy-looking family. 

“This way, try not to get distracted by the dazzling attractiveness of me as a child.” 

Once you reached his room he shut the door and gestured to the desk where all his work was. 

“Let’s get this done with, I know you’d rather be elsewhere,” he muttered, and you wanted to disagree but couldn’t find a way to say it, at least not convincingly. 

You worked on the project for hours, noticing Luke grow in discomfort as the evening wore on. 

“Are you feeling okay? You’re looking quite pale…” You started to trail off. 

“Yeah I’m fine, just hungry I guess.”

“You can eat. Don’t let my being here interrupt you.”

“No. I mean it’s fine I can wait.” But he didn’t really seem sue, and his eyes lingered on you a tad too long, even drifting towards your neck.

“Luke, can I ask you something?”

“Which is it? The sunglasses, how pale I am, how I never seem to go out, how no one sees me eat? I’ve heard ‘em all so take your pick.” 

“Well all of them I guess. Unless you don’t want to but, I don’t know I’m just curious. When we were younger you were the complete opposite. Did something happen?” 

“….I guess you could say that.”“Pretty vague,” you laughed nervously. “You’re starting to sound like a vampire.”

When he didn’t respond you guessed he didn’t want to talk about so started packing up the finished project before turning to leave. But then his arm shot out and grasped your wrist.

“What would you do?”

“W-what?”

“What would you do, if I was a vampire?” His tone was questioning but his face remained serious. 

“You can’t be serious, it’s just jokes and rumours.”

Luke didn’t say anything for a minute. Finally, with his hand still holding your wrist, he opened his mouth slightly revealing two fang like teeth, teeth that shouldn’t be there. 

A/N: So this turned out longer than I planned, didn't really know what I planned to do. Hopefully this was good enough. I might do a part two for this if anyone wants it!

[apex-man-47]

The inner flame

Tl;dr - LTS Challenge and something else in my planner book, do have their true point of inspiration.

The thing about one of my LTS challenge posts very recently is that it also did serve as a true flashback Friday post. 

The moment it highlights is indeed my middle school era - where an incident involving me had happened. Not sure if I ever had posted/talked about it before ever since anywhere (except for maybe two group convos in the span of past year since it was relevant to the topics discussed back then), but yeah - as they say, everybody's passion/spirit energy/inner flame does end up starting from somewhere that rather sees them at their lowest in terms of something completely different.

For me though, I guess my story does stem from the idea of biking back in the day. It was rather biking that helped me have true fun and maybe a little bit of an adrenaline rush, but it was because of this one incident that I really did get to learn the true cost of speed and not being too weary of the surroundings. It may have led me to sorta bond with the idea of going out for bike rides back then (pic 3 is an actual photo of my 3rd ever bike - my first long-term one in Canada, and my second one ever since said incident) that slowly also formed into my current hobby of going out for a drive (which has stopped due to current circumstances).

It was all due to me going out around the block with my bike to get a soft drink, that it had happened to kick off. By all things to happen, I got struck by a car. I don’t think I should say much other than all I remember is a faint bright white flash - could’ve been from the headlights of the car doing the u-turn but yeah, it took me quite a bit after that to realize what had happened - due to the fact that the accident caused quite the commotion of locals (my parents also arrived quite quickly, and I thank them for it). The driver apparently darted off and came back, because of dropping off his passenger - thing is, I bet his expression that day was the equivalent of “I f’ed up”, because of how much of a crowd was there. 

Flash forward an hour later and luckily I got the injury addressed. A left leg fracture. Time to heal? 1 month, if not a month and a half. The injury was surprisingly not as worse as the doctor was hoping for, but boi - life with the leg cast was quite different.

Did it stop me from my progress in school? Nope. I had my textbooks and friends to let me know of the work being done in class back then. Did it stop me from getting back on the bike? Nope. Had to get a new bike for sure though. Did the injury change me up in any way? Yes. For the better of it - so much so that I guess it did lead me to gaining quite the nickname in the family in the years following.

Now, in terms of me and biking and that one post. See, the inner “want” of adventure kinda got back into me when I got that one bike that appears in the IG post - and it had become one type of “want” that I guess I had to try suppressing just to focus in school since then. The thing about me with bikes though, had transferred over to my time with elliptical cycles - where indeed, I JUST had to make a reference to a key figure while talking about stuff to some of my junior-year friends back then - which had then also sorta become stuck in the group since then and then died out in favor of something else. It was because of the addiction to having the bike, that I guess I had that little bit of adrenaline rush linked with going fast actually transfer over.

Overall, I guess I also had gotten a bit more wiser since then, while also getting back into the realm of cycling. In terms of wising up, It has gotten to a point where I have realized the true power of “plan and do it without announcing too much about the project/idea” - and have done so by rather just taking a minute to think about anything to post, and also rather enjoying the platforms that I have rather than be more quick to post on them, Probably explains how I’ve had quite the content shift over the past few years - and have gotten to like the idea of posting if the occasion arises (Such as my graduation post!). I think it also explains how much I guess I love being on Discord and maybe IG for the most part, since I do happen to be a part of many great big groups that rather have their own vibes.

In terms of the “adventure” - I can say that a part of me is glad that I chose to think about what experiences I could have in the future, as a real motivator to me getting my license - which helped out massively in the respective tests. However, being a university student (at the time of me getting the license), I think it was really the amount of unique trips that have led me to think about continuing with a book of trip ideas for the future - and if so, I might be looking forward to paying homage to a certain element of some trips over others. 

The other half of “adventure” is that a part of me in university had rather likened the chapters of life as a mountain/touge course, where each curve on the course was indeed a turning point in life. This other half is also where I had also found myself growing/developing a little bit more. Yep, l uh, managed to get the nicknames of “Terminator” and “Road Warrior” (I kinda cringe at it but it makes me laugh a little every time i think about it due to what my dad told me once that’s ever so relative to the RW nickname) during my university life, because somehow my driving skills also had a growth-and-decline phase then too. 

That half of “adventure” is tied up pretty well with the Toyota in my family - for it also was the car to be taken for road trips. Road trips that sorta have had me thinking of that one long-term idea in my mind that popped up ever since my trip to Jordan (I had it as early as my first run to Riyadh tbh) in it with family. Also I can confirm that my family also had quite the weirdest trip idea in mind - but I don’t think we be doing it though due to reasons not related to the current global conditions.

To close off this post, I will say this - I really haven’t talked about the accident story ever since then due to how it really doesn’t seem like something to be talking about toooo much in detail unless it was relative. Overall, I guess that with time, it did shape me quite a lot - down to the point where I got me some actual ideas that I really do hope to do and rather be able to document/take note of in the future. Luckily, last summer I took initiative of doing that!

[skiasurveys]

#397

let’s start off with some basics. ayyyye. Okay What’s your name? Jen but i go by skia How old are you? 23 What’s your hair and eye color? Light brown hair and dark brown eyes How tall are you? 5′1  What’s your relationship status? Taken

Alright, enough of that. Let’s move on to the random shit.

What’s your favorite song? right now is Let me Live by Queen What does that song mean? What is the message behind it? Its about..from what i take, giving your all to someone who doesnt care, but takes it all. Givers vs takers. Is it your favorite because you relate to it, or do you just like the beat? Relate and i just love Queen  Have any pets? If so, what are they and what’s their names? 2 cats that are siamese named Archer and Misty Have you ever met your idol? My idol is dead. If so, were they nice or were they kind of an ass? What’s your favorite method of gaming? (PC, Xbox, Playstation, etc) Playstation or Nintendo Switch or older versions like Gamecube or N64 but those are so old lmao If you’re in college, what’s your major and why did you pick it? I am currently taking Office admin but thats just cus i needed to take something because I am good at this. I am going for social work next year hopefully. How’re you doing today? Really fucking anxious.

What color are your bedroom walls? Beige, I wish i could paint them but im renting. Describe your favorite shirt. I have a few but i really like my beatles tshirt just cus i can do a lot with it for style lol Use this space to tell someone off. What’s your view on smart watches? Cool or a waste of money? Waste a money. I understand apple watches cus you can get text messages..but still a waste What is one poster that you have hanging on your bedroom wall of? I dont have posters but I have art. How many times have you moved in your life? 4 times.

If you moved, do you like where you are now better than where you were? I like being on my own now but I like my moms house. What’s your favorite color and why? anything pastel because theyre nice to look at.

Do you have a calendar? If so, what’s the theme? Not right now. Just use my phone. Have any famous person’s autographs? no Do you draw well? i think i do. I love drawing, i can improve for sure but from where i came from? way better. What type of cell phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8. Should you be doing anything else right now or are you just bored? Nothing, maybe laundry but its like 9:30 PM so nah hahah  If you’re in school/college, what’s your favorite subject and why? Currently not taking any courses atm. Are you a cat or a dog person? Why? cats. i like dogs but cats are cooler and dog ppl are annoying as fuck lol Tell me about the plot of your favorite book. Its in perspective of a dog watching his owner go through traumas (like death and losing custody of his child etc). Its really cute and interesting concept. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I have perfect vision. What do you think about horror movies? some are good or so bad. 

If you love them (I do), what’s your favorite? i dont care for them so...

Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I need to start shopping once i get paid lol Do you do Black Friday shopping or wait for Cyber Monday? I do it online maybe but the sales arent usually that crazy. Have any mental illnesses? I have depression and a few anxiety disorders What’s your favorite word and why? Ive never rly had one. What is the most expensive thing you own, and what is it? My Laptop maybe. Did you buy that item yourself? No, my boyfriend bought it for me for my bday 

Where do you work and what is your postion? Too personal lol How often do you cuss? Toooo much. sometimes i just swear and i am like...chill

What type of car do you drive, if any? 2007 Pontiac G5 Are you happy with it? If no, what’s your dream car? She does well and takes me where i need and is reliable but I want a new one for sure, I want a Nissan Juke lol Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Which ones? I have a lot. Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest, Facebook, snapchat...etc What is your favorite genre of music? I like all kinds, really. Does your family have holiday traditions? If so, what are they? we used to. If you’re in a relationship, are you happy with it? Yes. How long have you been with your significant other? 3 years and 7 months..damn. Do you like psychology? I do! I love the brain and how it works and how it can really fuck with you. What is something your state is popularly known for? I live in canada buuuuut, rednecks.

Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Sometimes i do. Do you watch sports or do you think they’re overrated? I dont watch them.. What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? hmmm Youtubers lol Do you straighten your hair? Never  Ever dyed your hair a color that isn’t natural? (blue, pink, etc) I did a little bit of purple but not full head. How’s your relationship with your parents? its super healthy and i am so thankful for that. I can tell my mom anything and i know shes there for me. My dad died when I was a teenager but we were also very close too. Do you still live with them or do you have your own house? Own apartment. What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? BILLS. Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? N/a Ever done drugs? weed and shrooms.

Tell me one of your worst habits. Nail biting. What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? Im not sure lol If you game, what type of headset do you use? I hardly use a headset but I wish I could afford razor.

What type of computer do you own, and do you like it? Acer Chromebook. What’s the thing that annoys you the most? Bad drivers. What brand of TV do you have? Haier or something  Are you excited for Christmas? (It’s December 1st today when I made this) Yeeees but whatever  Tell me about your favorite vacation you’ve taken. Back in 2015 I went to Disneyland and it was really exciting because ive been wanting to go there since I was a child. I had a lot of fun.

Tell me something cool about yourself. I have no idea, honestly. Did/do you get good grades in school/college? I try my hardest and sometimes I just dont well  What’s your ringtone on your phone? Just the basic one. What’s your favorite store to shop in? Depends on my mood. I like American Eagle If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy and why? Pay off student loans, pay back my mom and I would for sure get myself a house. How long have you had a Bzoink account? I have had one for over a year now? But i dont hardly use it anymore because the surveys there are SO dated and boring questions.

Ever been to Field of Screams? If so, what’s your favorite attraction? Never even heard of that Do you own a Polaroid camera? not a real one. Do you have hardwood floor in your room or carpet? Carpet  It’s a Saturday night, what are you typically doing? Either working, or cleaning lol Do you have a lot of friends or do you not have any at all? I dont have many but tbh I keep my circle tight. What’s your all time favorite movie and why? The Lion King. I just love disney movies. I grew up with it

How many blankets do you sleep with at night? 2 blankets and more if i need. What’s the last TV show you watched? Did you enjoy it? This is Us and yes. Do you prefer cable TV or do you use Netflix? Netflix or any streaming tbh. Cable is so old. What is your dream job and why? Being an artist tbh. I just wanna create art Do you think you would be a good therapist? Maybe..but i am too mentally fucked up. What’s your favorite brand of clothing? again, it depends. I like american eagle, garage and H&M.

Did you like this survey? I did! some are boring and this one wasnt. lol