#got a croissant first cause i got too scared to ask if there was water icould use to cook the noodles

[aroace-poly-show]

enrichment time <- not only are they not starving they also bought a cup noodle flavor they haven’t tried :3

[dcforts]

[lebanon]

ao3

Sometimes, when he is at the bunker and things are quiet, Castiel goes out and ventures in town.

Some days he just feels like stretching his legs, so he takes off before dawn. It’s a long walk to the town center and back in time to see everyone get up for the day, but he likes the solid asphalt of the road under his shoes, the smell of the trees all around, the chirping of the birds nestled on their branches. He likes the clear air of the morning, the cold first light of the day. He enjoys how the landscape is both empty and full, quiet and rich.

It’s always too early to interact to anyone; the town is still sleeping and whoever is already around is too groggy or too busy to give you anything more than a curt nod. Cas appreciates that. Although at this point he feels pretty comfortable on Earth, there are times when he still feels like a fish out of water, so he relishes these morning walks that don’t require too much effort.

On one of those mornings, Dean wakes up while he is still out, and Cas’ phone rings in his pocket as he walks. On the other end Dean gruffly says, Where are you? and Cas looks around and reads out loud the first sign he sees. He says, Gallery Bistrò and Dean says, And where is that? and Cas says Lebanon, Kansas and Dean says Oh and, after a moment, I thought you’d taken off. Cas smiles, looking at the freshly baked croissant displayed in the windows of the bistrò and says I’m on my way and Would you like a croissant?

Some days, when he has errands to run, Cas takes his pick-up.

He always passes by the front windows of the post office and when the place is empty and she is not busy, Marta catches his eyes through the blinds and waves at him to come inside. He doesn’t mind spending a few minutes chatting with her. She is kind and nods understandingly and never makes him feel like he’s speaking in tongues. She always asks after Dean at some point, she says How’s Dean? and He should come by more often, will you tell him that? and Cas always says He’s fine and Of course, he’s very busy with work but he’d love to come by. He likes the way she lights up at that and how -  later, when he tells him - Dean snorts and brags about his charm.

But some other times when she talks about Dean she says He is such a gentleman and What a nice person and Cas nods and says He is and He is the best man I know and her face melts into a soft smile, she pats his hand and says I know, darling. Cas doesn’t know what she knows but he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t even tell Dean because he doesn’t know how to explain it. She shows him pictures of her grandson and he buys stamps with sea animals to give Jack as a present.

Then he stops at the liquor store. Jackson will have ready for him two or three cases of the usual beer. From the moment he sees him at the door he talks and talks about how happy he is that the Campbell brothers moved to town, because They know their stuff, he can tell, and he never had anyone like Dean with whom he could talk about booze for hours.

He motions to follow him out back and always insists on helping him carry the cases to his pick-up even if Cas says Thank you and There’s no need cause he can handle it of course, but Jackson is already grabbing one and cutting him off saying Believe me, give it a few years and you’ll feel it and You gotta be careful with your back so Cas lets him help and accepts the spare bottle of whatever new thing he has for Sam and Dean to try and promises him to tell the Campbells that they’re always welcome there.

When they are missing something from the bunker he stops at the mini mart. Fortunately, the young man he was rude to that one time doesn’t work there anymore. Stacy always greets him with a friendly Hello, unless it’s very early in the morning and she still has sleep fogging her eyes or late in the afternoon and she looks bored with her schoolbooks open on her lap.

The first few times, when he approaches her, she avoids his gaze, in a way that suggests that they both know the same secret, and it’s a truth that doesn’t exactly scare her but she would rather not know. Those first few times when he puts the basket on the counter, she says Everything alright? a little unsure, like she is asking about the shopping but also like she is worried that he is going to start talking about monsters. Cas says Yes and nothing else so as not to scare her.

One quiet afternoon though, she is clumsily trying to figure out how the brand new object scanner works and Cas sees her growing frustrated. She says I hate this thing under her breath. He extends one hand and says I can show you and, proudly, I’ve worked in a Gas n’ Sip. She doesn’t seem impressed by that, but lets him try and Cas teaches her. Now when she says Everything alright? she smiles and Cas says Yes and Thank you, Stacy.

If Max is perched on the counter next to her, flipping through a magazine, Stacy is even more relaxed. They exchange looks behind Cas’ back and Max watches him from under her eyelashes the whole time he wanders around in the shop. One time she sees him looking at the candy bars display for a long time and she heads over, points at one kind of chocolate bar and says Trust me. He buys three. He forgets them in the pocket of his coat and Dean eats them all one morning when they head out before he can have breakfast. After the first bite he turns towards Cas with his eyes wide and asks Where did you get these? And Cas says A friend recommended them.

As he drives by the small movie theater he makes sure to memorize the movies they are showing that week in case they decide to have a movie night out. One time they are giving an old movie whose title sounds familiar, so he stops the pick-up, fishes out his phone and sends Dean a picture of the posters, to which Dean texts back We’re going. Only, some case turns up later than night and they are gone all week and miss it.

When he comes back, Dean snoops in the bags he brings in, makes sure he got everything from Jackson, hears about his chats with Marta. Sometimes he jokes You’re gonna steal her from me, to which Cas responds earnestly, I don’t mean to, and Dean laughs and it echoes on the kitchen walls. And then Cas stops by Jack’s room and knocks lightly on the wooden door, usually ajar. As soon as Jack sees him slipping a hand in his coat’s pocket his face brightens. He stretches a hand out and Cas rests the stamp on his palm. It’s usually a little crumpled but Jack always smiles and says A sea lion! or A whale! or A shark! or A sea horse! and That’s so cool and Thank you Cas, like he just handed him a star. And Cas lingers a few moments by the door just to watch him place it in his little wooden box, together with the rest of his small collection.

Sometimes before going back to the bunker he visits the pizza place, where Max’s mum, Caitlin, works. He opens up Sam’s latest text message and lists off their order. During the weekend, a table far back in a corner is usually crowded with young familiar faces. He stands at the entrance waiting for his order to be ready, looking down at the checkered floor and twisting the receipt in his hands and he feels their eyes on him.

One time Eliot ventures to the counter to get a refill for his drink. He makes a poor attempt at covering the fact that he is watching him and Cas pretends not to notice to spare him the embarrassment, but Eliot surprises him, turns around and bravely asks You are Jack’s father right? Cas hesitates, then says, I am and Eliot smiles and nods enthusiastically, I figured, you look exactly the same. Cas is pleased to hear that. Eliot starts talking non-stop, about things he read and things he knows and asking about Jack without even giving him time to answer and Cas is only saved by Caitlin who hands him his pile of pizza boxes. Eliot follows him to the door and keeps it open for him and says Tell him to text me, okay? So we can hang out sometimes.

On the nights he gets pizza, he takes the boxes to the pick-up, places on the passenger seat and drives carefully back to the bunker. He parks, kills the engine, exits, gets to the passenger seat, takes out the pizza boxes and makes his way to the map room. Dean is usually there already, waiting, with an uncorked beer in one hand. He greets him widening his arms and saying Finally and Thank god I was starving before shouting for Sam to join them. Jack doesn’t need to be called, he comes stumbling immediately after Cas, drawn by the smell of food that fills the hallways.

Dean is on his second slice by the time Sam walks in and complains that Dean didn’t wait for him. Sometimes he comes in with a news or wants to talk about his latest research. And Dean rolls his eyes and points at the pizza, and with his mouth full says, Dude, pizza first, work later and Cas sits by Jack’s side and watches them and feels happy.

  +

 One time Dean drives to meet him in town and they sit at the pizza place and Caitlin stops by the table to get their orders and says It’s nice to have you here for once and Max and Stacy wave at them from the corner table and keep sneaking glances at them and whispering and Dean notices but doesn’t mention it, just fiddles with the menu longer than he usually does and keeps his elbows off the table where he’s sure he can’t touch Cas’.

He says, This is weird and Is this weird? and Cas says, It’s not each time until Dean relaxes and jokes and forgets about whatever was bothering him and when Caitlin comes by asking if they have room for dessert he cheerfully says, We’ll take two slices of pie for the road and nudges Cas with his elbow, now very much in contact with his.

Dean walks beside him down the empty streets, swinging the bag with the pies with one hand and touching the back of Cas’ hand with the other, once, twice. Then he grabs it. He says This is weird and Is this weird? and Cas says It’s not each time and Dean squeezes his hand. He says, Who could’ve known? and Cas says Marta knew and Dean laughs and says Yeah, you’re probably right.

They get to the cars and Dean follows him to his pick-up and Cas lets him push him against it and press his body against his. Cas slips his hands under Dean’s jacket to rest them on his hips, and kisses him slowly and the bag swings and drops from Dean’s fingers.

A long time passes before a distance sound startles them apart. Dean pulls back and says, We should get home. Cas watches him stumbling backwards, picking up his bag, smiling. He says Uh, right and I’ll see you at home and he waves awkwardly. Cas smiles and gets into his pick-up and as he drives right behind the Impala, the town, quiet and empty, rolls by outside his windows and he thinks, I like it here.

[bbykpoper]

𝓢𝓾𝓰𝓪𝓻𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 🍰

Inspired by this post 🌼

Pairing: patissier!mingi x waitress!reader

Index: Jongho // Hongjoong // Seonghwa // San // Yunho // Wooyoung // Yeosang

･*:༅

“Hey y/n.” Your co-worker and friend, Sorn, called out to you as you two cleaned down tables after closing. “Why are you working here?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, your apron coming undone as you finished your half of the bakery. 

“Well, you’re quite an intelligent person and I know you are smart in many fields of life, so how come you ended up working at a bakery?” Her glittering eyes looked over at you, curiosity gleaming along.

You’ve been working at Sugarberry’s for a few months now, applying for the job at a whim one summer night. It’s been a tough life for you who had to provide for herself most of your life, loosing the chance to get a college education because you couldn’t financially support yourself, not having much of any job options to choose from and simply having been surrounded by the wrong people. That one summer night, when you just couldn’t come to terms that your life was falling appart a young man noticed your heavy expression and approached you with a smile. 

A smile which had changed your life for better.

“I don’t really know.” You shrugged your shoulders at her. “I guess I just found something which made me stay.”

“Was it the boss?” A sly voice sounded from the back where the kitchen was located. 

“For your information Wooseok!” You threw your apron at his face. “No. It was not.” With a roll to your eyes you waited for Sorn to finish up cleaning and him to drag his ass out to the front. “Where the hell did you even get that idea?”

“Oh come on y/n, we all see the way you two look at each other.” He laughed. “It’s just a matter of time.” He sang along as you locked up the place.

“It’s just a matter of time for what?” 

“Eek!” Sorn and Wooseok screamed at the top of their lungs, both clinging to you for dear life.

“Mingi.” You calmly said, even though your heart was in your throat at the startle he caused you. “You came back early.”

“Yeah, our trip was cut short due to some business.” He smiled down at you, his eyes turning into half moons. “You guys finished for today?”

“You are a mean human being Song Mingi!” Wooseok exclaimed pointing his finger at the tall man, his arm still wrapped tightly around yours. “Why would you scare us?”

“I didn’t mean to guys, I’m sorry.” He chuckled, his eyes never leaving you. “How about I buy you lot dinner as an apology.”

“I’m not saying no to dinner.” Sorn giggled and pulled herself off you, going to stand next to Mingi and now latching on to him.

“Sorn?” Wooseok asked confused.

“Let’s go.”

You and Wooseok exchanged confused glances as she dragged Mingi by her side, ignoring his protests and weight in trying to stop. You decided to keep your mouth shut and just follow after them, sticking your cold hands into your pockets, ignoring Wooseok’s constant commenting on the situation.

･*:༅

“Something weird is going on.” Seonghwa sat down next to you on your break the next day, Hongjoong joining in shortly as he got his drink from Sorn who worked the counter.

“I’m on my break and have no intentions on using it up on your relationship problems.” You said, not even raising your eyes from the page you were currently reading.

“It’s weird that Sorn is hanging around Mingi so much.” He emphasized, making you stop your eyes for a second, but quickly going back to reading. “Ever since we came back from that trip she’s been clinging to him too much.”

“Well it could have two reasons.” Your eye twitched at Wooseok who decided to join in on the gossiping. “First is, she’s finally working up the crush she has for him and is shooting her shot. Or-” He looked at you who was two seconds away from smacking him atop the head. “-she’s trying to make y/n jealous and finally admit her undying love for him.”

It was the last straw which made you ubruptly stand and spill Hongjoong’s poor coffee on the floor. You picked your book up and walked away, going back on the clock and evading both Sorn and Mingi. 

“I think you just made it worse.” Hongjoong said, glancing at the boy who shamefully walked into the kitchen. “Wanna stay here and wait for the boys?” 

“Sure, we can arrange an outing with everyone.” Seonghwa said, his hands skillfully texting away. 

The day passed with you being in a bad mood. Most of the regular customers weren’t used to you being so distant and quiet, while the rest of the boys kept glancing between you and Mingi. Mingi on the other hand was pouting in the kitchen, decorating his 15th cake of the day with broken hearts and dark colours. Wooseok didn’t have the guts to tell him that it was kind of unappealing so they just said today is a gloomy day for Sugarberry’s.

“Hey y/n!” Yunho enthusiastically walked in, a girl in tow behind. “How have you been?”

“Hey Yunho...” You were taken by surprise at the sudden smiley faced pair and you just had to soften up your expression for him. He was too baby-faced to look at him mad. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Huckleberry. My girlfriend.” The blush on his face was so cute, you just had to smile at him wholeheartedly. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m y/n.” The girl also smiled back. “What can I get you guys?”

“I’d like some tea and a piece of chocolate cake.” She said softly.

“Wow, even your order is the same!” You laughed, the sound echoing through the bakery and lifting everybody’s dark clouds. The sound managed to even bring Mingi out to the front, but his cloud only darkened when he saw you laughing along with Yunho. The bag with pink sprinkles popped open at how strongly he was holding it, the floor turning into a punk fuzzy surface. “I’ll get your order in a minute, you guys take a seat. The boys and their girls are outside in the usual booth.” 

“What are you laughing at?” Mingi asked you as you went behind the counter to prepare the order for the two.

“I’m sorry?”

“He has a girlfriend, so why are you laughing with him?” He gritted through his teeth.

“Oh, so only because he has a girlfriend I should ignore his existence and not be polite to him?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Well that’s a load of bull coming from a man who let’s a taken girl cling to his arm like her life depends on it.”

“What?”

“Sorn has a girlfriend you idiot.” You deadpanned making Wooseok drop his croissant. “Grow the fuck up Song and say what’s been pissing you off these past few days instead of throwing childish tantrums all around.”

“You know-” He came real close to your face, the anger evident in both of your eyes. “-no man wants a woman that goes after taken man.”

“Well Song, no woman wants to date a child.” You gritted out, taking the order outside and declining nicely the invite to go clubbing with the gang later.

You both evaded each other until the end of the day and when it was closing time, you finished cleaning and left, saying good bye to your co-workers and the gang, walking past Mingi as if he wasn’t even there.

“Did they fight?” Hongjoong asked Wooseok through a whisper.

“Uh-huh.” He nodded, both of them watching Mingi’s clenched jaw tightening.

･*:༅

The small house you lived in was inherited by you from the old lady that let you live with her when you were still a teen. She had taken care of you as much as she could and in return you did the same to her. You cooked, cleaned, even sometimes gave baths to the 80 year old woman out of gratitude and in return, she left her quiant little home to you. Unfortunately she had passed away a few years ago, but you still honoured her life by planting sugarberries in the garden; her favourite flower. 

“Fuckin’ asshole.” You mumbled as you relaxed in the bathtub after a long and stressful day at work.

Candles littered the bathroom as faint piano music played in the background. You looked into the full body mirror with golden rimmed leaves which faced the bathtub. Your long light coloured locks stuck to your face, as your eyes sadly observed your soft and round features.

“What does she have that I don’t?” You whispered out, touching your cheek. “Stupid Mingi!”

You stayed in the water for another hour and finally decided to get out and dry yourself, putting on one of the many night gowns you’d gotten. The giggle that left your mouth had you remembering some better and happier times. 

Times when you weren’t in love with a childish Mingi.

You sat down on the sofa and began reading the book you had today, slowly loosing all thoughts of today’s argument, and focusing on that fictional world in your hands. 

The loud thud and banging on the front door woke you up from your book-induced-nap. Blinking a few times you shook your head and went over to the door, glancing through the peep-hole and wincing when you saw an eye looking back at you.

“Y/N!~”

“What the hell are you doing at my house at 2 a.m.?!” You flung the door open as the man in front of you straightened up and looked at you in the eyes. He kept looking at your appearance and something stired deep within him at your half asleep eyes, messy locks and long beige night gown. “Well Mingi?”

“Oh fuck it.” He grabbed your cheeks and kissed your lips, your poor knees shaking and loosing balance. You both fell on the ground, him holding you up as best as he could so as not to hurt yourself. Your lungs were screaming for air and he felt it too, pulling away with a low whine. His hair was messy, his cheeks were rosy, eyes glossy and breath stinking of alcohol. And you; your hair was sprawled out around you like a halo, cheeks and neck red from the lack of oxygen and onslought of embarrassement, the skirt of your night gown ridding up all the way to your thighs. You looked like a fucking angel to him underneath him. “God you are so gorgeous.”

“Mingi you’re drunk.” You tried to push him off and get up, but you stopped abruptly when you felt little wet droplets on your exposed chest. “Mingi? What’s wrong?”

“Why am I not good enough for you?” He asked in a low whisper. “Why do you laugh so much with Yunho and Wooseok, and the others, but not with me? Why do you only smile at me and evade me the whole day?”

“Mingi-”

“I’ve been trying so hard for you to notice me! I made new recipes from fruits you like, I baked the bread you said you liked every day, and I decorated every cake with the flowers you like.” He came closer to you and you could see the haze in his eyes which showed he was only slightly drunk but mostly sober. “Why do you keep giving out advice to my friends on how to get the girl but never to me on how to get you?”

“God you are so dumb!” You groaned out and looked at him unamused. “Everytime I gave advice to your friends I was giving it to you too. I wasn’t sure if you like me because I wasn’t exactly paying attention to the details you were setting out. I’ve never had someone go out of their way so much.” You pulled him into a hug and he relaxed in your arms. “You are good enough for me! You are more than that!”

“So you like me back?” 

“I love you.” You whispered out.

“I want to make love to you.” He whispered back. “For the rest of my life.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?” You laughed at that thought.

“I am.” He looked at you seriously. “I wanted to marry you that first day I met you.”

“You barely know me.” You sat up along with him. “Shouldn’t we get to know each other first?”

“But I already know everything about you.” He blushed. “Granny Kim talked about you a lot.”

You looked over at the picture frame on the wall where you and old lady Kim sat in the garden, enjoying the sunshine, laughter and sugarberries around you. You had to smile to yourself at this situation. That woman thought of everything it seems.

“It seems this house will become more lively then.” You giggled at him.

“Is that a yes?” Mingi grabbed you by the arms in excitement.

“Yes!” You were lifted off the ground in a hype as the front door closed and Mingi twirled you around.

“God, I need to call Wooseok and tell him to open shop tomorrow!” You blinked in surprise. “You and I have so much to catch up on and work is the least of our problems.”

The choking noise you made in surprise had him smirking as he carried you off further inside the house, his eyebrows wiggling with delight.

･*:༅

“I hope you’re not mad at me y/n.” Sorn spoke as you both sat on the side for a while, seeing as it wasn’t so busy. “I never had a thing for Mingi, I was just fed up with his constant love-sick sighs and I had to get everything in motion.” She sighed. “Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s all good.” You smiled at her. “Thank you.”

The two of you exchanged a glance and laughed at how the situation turned out. Wooseok grumbled from the kitchen something but you paid him no mind. You kept on observing Mingi who was outside with a few of his friends, talking about the big plans. It made you happy and smiley and the bakery was thriving with this low feeling of love.

The sugarberries in your garden seemed to grow brighter since Mingi moved in and you guys decided to make a sweet with them, naming it  계속 미소 지으며.

Keep smiling.

[artificialqueens]

And For Once, You Let Go (Jankie) - Mumu

A/N: For @aqpippin as part of @atresia ’s song fic exchange! The song was You Are In Love - Taylor Swift. Also on AO3.

Summary: Jan wants to give Jackie the fairy tale confession she deserves.

Morning, her place

Burnt toast, Sunday

The first time Jan feels it, it leaves her breathless. It comes quietly, and once it dawns on her, something changes in the air. She can’t get rid of it. Perhaps she’s known for a while, or perhaps this is a cumulation of brief moments. Jan doesn’t know. She doesn’t know much, except for the fact that the feeling lodges itself in her throat, pulsing when she looks at Jackie.

She’s in love.

Jackie’s in the shower, and Jan’s sprawled out on the bed. As far as routine goes, everything is perfectly normal.

On Sundays, Jan closes the bakery for the day. She moves languidly, takes her time waking up. Some days they sleep in so late they skip lunch altogether, and they take turns making dinner.

Jackie has introduced Jan to so many Persian dishes from her childhood since she’s moved in, and learning how to make new dishes is something Jan looks forward to. She’s always in awe of how Jackie is so at home in the kitchen, how she somehow knows exactly how much nutmeg to sprinkle on lamb or how much vinegar to pickle the garlic cloves in without measuring anything out.

Today it’s Jackie’s turn again. She’s laid out all her ingredients already, an array of spices set out on the kitchen counter that promise a delicious meal.

For now, though, the sound of running water is steady, and Jan takes comfort in the sound.

In the beginning, when Jackie had first suggested they move in together, Jan had been scared out of her mind.

Dating was good. Dating was fine, comfortable even. She got to spend just enough time with Jackie to ensure her ball-of-sunshine energy didn’t slip or dim. That’s what everybody loved her for, anyway: her optimistic, bright personality. Even Jackie had told her that was what drew her to Jan.

But moving in together? She’d be around Jackie 24/7 then. Jan knew it wouldn’t be possible to keep that energy up all the time. Besides, even the people closest to Jan, like her mom or her friends, had at one point or another asked if she could tone it down just for a second, Jan, please .

Jan knew she had a tendency to be too much. She was too loud in the morning, too clingy with those she loved, too childish when she was sick.

Moving in with Jackie was a real commitment, a part of herself she wasn’t sure if she was ready to share. Jackie had always been patient with her, giving her the time and space to feel comfortable. But moving in was also something she was dead set on, and well, once Jackie got an idea into her head, it was impossible to talk her out of it.

Jan still wasn’t budging, so she’d done it sneakily. It started with staying over at Jan’s for sleepovers. They’d watch movies and Jackie would mix up some face masks, slathering it on their cheeks with the back of the spoon or their fingers. Jan would bake cookies, and they’d stay up all night talking like they were little kids.

At some point a night over became two, then three, until Jackie’s stuff had a designated spot in Jan’s closet. Her coffee mugs had found a home in Jan’s cupboards. It became routine for Jackie to drop by, even when Jan wasn’t home. Eventually, Jan had to put aside her fears and admit that Jackie should just move in.

And at the end of it all, when the last of Jan’s stuff had been packed into cardboard boxes and carried into Jackie’s apartment, Jan didn’t feel scared anymore.

How could she be, when Jackie was so good to her? She was always so gentle and made Jan feel so safe in her company.

“ Moosh moosh-am ?” Jackie calls.

Jan hides a smile at the pet name.

She’d tried to ask Jackie what it meant once, but Jackie had gotten all flustered, so she dropped it. A quick google search had translated it for her, anyways, so now she’s content with pretending not to understand to ensure Jackie keeps using it.

“Are you still there?” Jackie leans out of the bathroom, still tugging the hem of her shirt over her chest. Her hair’s wrapped in a towel, but a few brown strands have already slipped out and drip water onto her shoulders.

“Hmm?” Jan hums. She flops over on the bed, hangs her head over the edge. “You look pretty upside-down-sie.”

“You’re such a softy,” Jackie says with a slight roll of her eyes. She leans against the doorframe, fixing a warm gaze on her girlfriend. “Can you take the dough out of the fridge, please? It has to sit for thirty.”

“Putting me to work already, huh?” Jan asks, popping her gum.

Jackie doesn’t respond, just raises an eyebrow.

“Fine,” Jan groans dramatically and heaves herself into a sitting position on the bed with a groan. “But you know I’m only doing it ‘cause I lo-”

The words get stuck in her throat. Jan inhales too abruptly, chokes on her spit. She coughs, rolling off the bed to land on her feet again.

“Shit, you good?” Jackie scrambles over to pound her on the back. “Don’t go upside down while chewing gum like that, you’ll choke.”

“No, yeah. I’m fine, I’m fine.” Jan recovers, still flustered. “Must have- y’know. Inhaled dust or something. I’ll go get that dough.”

She stands and shuffles over to the kitchen, stiffly going through the motions. The inside of her mouth tastes sticky despite the minty gum, and her hands are shaking slightly as she pulls out the saran wrapped dough.

What the hell was that? Jan’s heart pounds in her ears. She stares at the mound of dough with wide eyes, panic coursing through her.

“Thank you.” Jackie drags out the words, coming up behind her. She wraps her arms around Jan’s waist, nestles her chin into her shoulder.

Jan jumps at the sound of Jackie’s voice in her ear, taking a sharp inhale out of surprise.

“So jumpy today.” Jackie murmurs. She untangles herself from around Jan, putting her hands on her hips. “Alright, let’s get started then.”

Good. Okay. Jan blinks, tries to steady herself. It’s just the late-June heat getting to her, that’s all.

She pours herself some water and drinks it, trying to wash down the strange feeling rattling around in her ribcage.

**

One step, not much, but it said enough

Jan calls Gigi up the next day, first thing in the morning with the taste of her almost-confession still on her tongue.

Gigi agrees to breakfast straight away, no questions asked. It’s like the other girl can hear the urgency in Jan’s voice, the little tremor when she says it’s about her and Jackie. Whatever the reason, Jan’s grateful for how quickly she says yes.

Surprisingly, Gigi doesn’t bombard Jan with questions the second she slides into their booth at the restaurant. It’s a cute little place– a diner they frequent often– and ordering takes virtually no time at all as they both rattle out their usuals. She’s grateful for the grace period.

Jan’s halfway through her pancakes when Gigi finally cuts off her casual rambling.

“So did you and Jackie, like, end things? Cause, no offence, but I’ll literally kill you. You guys are perfect for each other.” She tears a croissant into half and poses the question around a mouthful.

“What?” Jan sputters out a shocked laugh. Her voice is a little too loud and she winces, tries again. “Absolutely not, where’d you get that from?”

“Babes, you called me all panicked and told me you had to talk to me,” Gigi says slowly. “About you and her.”

“Oh,” Jan says. She pushes a bite of blueberry pancake into the puddle of maple syrup that’s collected on her plate. “Oh, yeah. That does sound bad, doesn’t it.”

“Duh,” Gigi laughs. She pauses, taking a sip of her iced tea. “So if nothing’s going bad , then what’s the problem?”

And there it is. Jan clicks her tongue and drums her nails on the table, stalling as she tries to think of how to phrase her next sentence.

“I almost said I loved her yesterday.”

Gigi beams at that news- “Wait, are you kidding? That’s great!” -before collecting herself. She leans in, less excited after realizing the worry Jan said it with.

“Wait, I don’t get it. You do love her right?”

“Have you and Crystal said it yet?” Jan deflects, asking another question instead of answering.

“I mean, yeah. Like two weeks ago now, I think.” Gigi shrugs.

“How did you know when to say it?”

“I don’t know. It just felt right?” Gigi pops a chunk of pastry into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

Jackie nods like she understands, tapping her fork against her bottom lip. She casts around for an excuse for why it isn’t as easy for her as it seems to have been for Gigi and Crystal. There must be one. She’s not crazy, right?

“I feel like what we have now is really great. I don’t want to scare her off by saying anything stupid.”

“Jan, Jackie is totally head-over-heels in love with you. There’s no way that’ll do anything but bring you two closer.” Gigi rebuts, unconvinced.

Jan just hums, not trusting herself to speak. Her voice has frozen in her throat, and that’s not a factor she wants to deal with while she’s talking to Gigi, who picks up on everything.

“I think I know what your problem is,” Gigi says bluntly. She drains the last of her iced tea, before setting it down on the table and declaring with finality, “You’re worried about making it perfect like you always do.”

Jan cuts at her food to give her hands something to do.

“You watch too many romcoms. You’re putting this crazy pressure on yourself to, like, measure up to Hollywood scripts. But that’s not real life, y’know?”

Jan bites at the inside of her cheek, the taste of metal blooming in her mouth.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect, that’s the point of it,” Gigi continues. She stops, notices that Jan’s attention isn’t totally on her.

“Jannifer-” She takes the knife and fork from Jan’s hands. “-Quit murdering that pancake and listen, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Sorry, doll.” Jackie clears her throat and wipes her fingers clean on a napkin, still not meeting Gigi’s gaze.

“Do you love Jackie?”

The way she says it, it’s not really a question but more of a statement for Jan to agree to. Even phrased like that to make it easy for her, Jan still isn’t sure she’s ready to speak it into reality. Her eyes dart, feeling like everyone in the restaurant is listening in on their discussion.

“Jan?” Gigi prompts.

“I’m- I, um, need to use the bathroom. Excuse me.” Jan stands up, nearly knocking her drink into her lap at the sheer force of it. Her chair scrapes against the floor, too loud for her liking, and she practically sprints into the restroom.

She presses her palms flat on the marble countertop. The cold surface against her skin is enough to scramble her already overstimulated mind, and Jan forces a breath in through her nose, tears prickling behind her eyelids.

Why can’t she do it? Jackie deserves the world, as far as she’s concerned, and yet Jan can’t even put her feelings into words for her.

Jackie’s going to get tired of waiting for her to grow the hell up and say what’s on her mind. And when she does, Jan will have fucked up yet another thing she loves, because that’s what she does best.

Once the idea of Jackie leaving her takes root she can’t stop thinking about it, can’t stop imagining scenarios. When it happens, Jackie might scream, or yell, or cry. She might go silent, start icing Jan out until there’s nothing left to keep them together. Either way, she’ll end up all alone again, and her apartment will feel twice as big because she’s gotten used to the warmth of Jackie’s presence.

There’s a spark of anger too, as irrational as it is, that tears through her at the realization that Jackie’s the reason she caved in. If it were up to her, she’d have kept Jackie at arms length, perfectly safe, where she can’t be harmed by Jan’s inability to be a proper adult in a proper adult relationship.

At some point she ends up on the floor, back pressed against the counter, and now she stays like that, curling her torso closer into her knees. Jan hears the door open, and a panicked sounding ohmygod from Gigi.

“Jan, honey, it’s okay.” Gigi sits down next to her. “Take deep breaths for me.”

Jan heaves a breath in and out through her mouth. “Sorry, I- god, I don’t know why I’m like this.”

“Hey, don’t apologize,” Gigi says. She works her fingers into Jan’s hair, braiding little sections in a calming fashion.

“Relationships are hard. The first time Crystal kissed me I, like, totally freaked out and ghosted her for a few days. Major dick move, don’t recommend.”

Jan laughs despite herself at that. She rests her head back against the counter and looks up at the ceiling.

“Do you think it’ll get easier?”

It’s quiet for a few moments, the hum of the electric lights keeping them company. Jan’s pretty sure Gigi has forgotten about the question or isn’t going to answer her when she speaks again.

“I think,” Gigi bites her lip, considering her words carefully. “I think you’ll get used to trusting someone that much. I don’t know if it’ll be easy, but it’s a process.”

More silence. Jan tongues her teeth, feeling the smooth enamel, unsure whether or not to speak.

“We just have to trust it?” Jan says. The question hangs in the air, drawing a noise of agreement out of Gigi.

“Do you know what Jackie said to me after we moved in together?” Jan asks, before ploughing on, not waiting for an answer. “She told me, just because you’re independent doesn’t mean you have to do it on your own all the time.”

Gigi still doesn’t speak, just lets Jan talk.

“And I think- no, I know she’s right. But it’s still weird, y’know? She’s so good to me and I want to do that for her.”

There’s a pause. “I don’t know why I can’t.”

“Don’t rush yourself because you think she deserves it, hun. That’s not fair to either one of you.” Gigi says.

Jan just sighs, makes a little hum of acknowledgement.

“Yeah. This was so much easier in the movies.”

Gigi snorts, shoving Jan with her shoulder. “That’s what you get for watching those heterosexual pieces of trash all the time. Unrealistic expectations.”

And Jan lets her say it, doesn’t throw back a jab about how if anything is disgustingly cheesy it’s Gigi and Crystal’s pet names they have for one another, because she knows this is Gigi trying to help her through her feelings.

“Let’s finish our food before they think we dined and dashed,” Jan says simply, and considers that growth.

**

You can hear it in the silence,

You can feel it on the way home

Over the next few months, Jan tries to say I love you many times. It never comes out smoothly.

The feeling isn’t so daunting now that she’s been living with it for a while. It’s a companion, a constant rattling in her ribcage that gets stronger and louder every time Jackie leaves a sticky note with a smiley face on the lunch she takes to the bakery.

She practices saying I love you to the mirror in her room, fascinated with the way the words sound and the way her mouth moves to shape them.

Some days she gets scared that she’ll never be able to voice it, that it’ll be trapped inside her throat with nowhere to go and no place to call home forever. On those days she sits for hours on the balcony while Jackie sleeps, just watching the city go by.

These things take time, Gigi had said, so give them time .

Be patient with yourself, her mom tells her, when Jan calls her up. You’ll get there .

Jan repeats those words of advice so often they seem to become part of her, swirling in her bones and in her blood. She imagines they float around her like an aura as she moves through the days, folding into her cake batter along with the butter and sugar. Trusting that when it’s right, she’ll know.

**

And you understand now,

Why they lost their minds and fought those wars

Today, Jackie’s come in to help Jan out in the bakery. It’s holiday season now, which means more customers and more work. Jackie’s already found an easy rhythm working the cash register, greeting guests with a warm smile and comforting air. Jan feels like everything in her life is coming together in the best way, wrapped up in a pretty bow.

She pulls a fresh ray of lemon cookies from the oven, setting it on the rack to cool. Jackie immediately leans over, trying to swipe a cookie under the guise of kissing the powdered sugar off of Jan’s lips.

“I saw that, Jacqueline,” Jan scolds, tapping Jackie’s wrist in an attempt to get her to drop it. Jackie takes a big bite anyways, trying to chew through the pain when it scalds her mouth. Jan laughs in response. “That’s what you get for stealing.”

“You’re a cruel woman, Jan,” Jackie teases. She offers the other half of the cookie to Jan, who takes it from her.

“For someone that used to track all our expenses, you’ve become quite lenient with eating the profits away lately,” Jan bumps Jackie’s hip with her own, turning to hide a smile as she pops the remainder of the cookie into her mouth.

“What can I say, you’re rubbing off on me,” Jackie replies.

“Hmm.” Jan hums. She catches Jackie trying to swipe another cookie out of the corner of her eye and pulls the rack away from her girlfriend before it happens. “Ah-uh. I don’t think so.”

Jackie pouts, wiggling her fingers at the rack. “Jan, it’s just one, please?”

“Sorry, can’t let you eat them all.” Jan doesn’t even spare a second glance at Jackie, turning back to whipping up another bowl of batter. “Go back to the register. We can have the leftovers after closing.”

“I can’t believe I’m being bullied,” Jackie whines. She does as she’s told though, trudging back to her spot at the counter.

Jan bustles over to the coffee machines, pressing a few buttons. “Shut up, you know I love you.”

It rolls off her tongue light and airy, just like her cookies, but the aftertaste catches in her throat regardless.

Jan stills, pausing with her hands over the coffee machine. Nothing in the atmosphere has changed, the air still warm and easy, the lingering taste of lemon still full bloom on her taste buds. She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, scared to look at Jackie.

“Do you-” Jackie comes over again, hovering around Jan, unsure of where to put her hands. “-Do you want to say that again or did I hear you wrong?”

Do you think it’ll get easier? That was the question she asked Gigi half a year ago, when she had been scared of this foreign thing that had started living inside of her.

“Huh? Jan-” Jackie asks. Oh, she said that part out loud.

“-I can- um. Should I go back to the counter?”

Over the speakers, the song changes into something with a bit more kick.

“I didn’t mean that,” Jan says. Wrong answer. Jackie’s face falls, and the thing inside Jan twists around her lungs, making it hard to breathe.

“No- wait, no, Jackie.” She speeds up, words falling into each other. Her hand slips from the mug and it crashes onto the floor, spraying coffee onto her jeans. “Hold on, that’s stupid, I’m not- fuck, I’m not scared.”

“Okay,” Jackie says, quiet, like she understands what Jan is trying to say. Maybe she does. She has a way of getting Jan like that.

“I’m, I-” Jan’s hands shake and she sticks them into the pockets of her apron to hide it.

“You don’t have to,” Jackie says, when Jan starts talking and stops again, like a fish, or somebody drowning underwater.

Jan shakes her head, so hard her earrings jingle. She taps the toe of her combat boots on the ground, counts to five, and then to ten. Then to twenty, because she’s chicken.

“I love you,” She blurts.

“Okay,” Jackie repeats, then louder, again, like she senses Jan needs to hear it back. “Okay. I love you too.”

And then it’s done, and it makes sense, all of a sudden. Jan throws her head back, laughs with her whole body, and Jackie looks at her, half in surprise and half in curiosity.

“I’m an idiot,” Jan says, by way of explanation. “ God , Jackie, do you know how long I’ve waited to say that?”

Jackie stares at her. She blinks rapidly, dabbing at her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Are you crying?” Jan asks, her voice pitching higher at the sheer absurdity of it all.

Jackie sniffs and swats at Jan when she swoops in to hug her.

“Stop, go away, let me be an emotional wreck in peace.” The effect is decidedly ruined by the way she dissolves into laughter at the end of her protest, but Jan appreciates the effort.

So they just stand there, and Jan’s smiling with her forehead pressed against Jackie’s, all watery and loving. Jackie pulls her in closer for a kiss, Jan practically melting into her. It’s salty from both of their tears because they’re both crybabies, and Jan wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tonight, when they get home, Jan will make lasagna with her nonna’s recipe.

Jackie’s already prepped shir berenj for desert, and they’ll have it with the bottle of red wine that’s been sitting on the top shelf, waiting for a special occasion just like this. They’ll sit on the balcony until late in the night, safe in each other’s company.

Things won’t be perfect, or easy. Not now, maybe not ever.

But Jan’s okay with that. She’s okay with figuring things out as they go. Especially since it now comes with the promise of Jackie at her side, steady and comforting and loving Jan for every part of who she is.

Because she’s in love.

And wow, how badly she wants to scream it into the city, so that everyone knows about this magical thing that has come into her life, with such reckless abandon. It’s feral and wild, and it cuts up the soft parts of her sometimes, but that’s okay because Jackie’s here to help her heal.

Like: it’s far less terrifying when she knows Jackie loves her back.

Like: they live here, in this time and this place, with each other, and that is enough for her.

Like: she’s in love. True love.

[ayellowcurtain]

could you write a fic about zoe reading a text sander sent robbe out loud and embarrassing robbe in front of his friends? // Can you write were Sander takes care of sad Robbe // Could you please write about Robbe and Sander being out together and Robbe has a flashback to the assault and has a panic attack with Sander trying to calm him down and Robbe getting more scared whenever someone around them tries to get closer to help him?

If he had a choice, Robbe would hide inside his bedroom and never leave again. It’s been over a year, he should have learned his ways to deal with that night and all the traumas it caused at least a little bit, but he didn’t, apparently. 

It was an instinctive reaction, he panicked the second they entered that alley by accident and his body failed completely, shutting off and Robbe barely remembers what happened after, how he got home. The parts he remembers it’s like he’s seeing from outside of his body. Sander’s soothing voice, his hands holding Robbe tightly, helping him stand up again, keeping strangers away. 

He’s still at the flat, lying on the couch and he can hear whispers coming from the hall, people passing by the door, everyone probably letting Robbe have his space, even though his space, for now, is their living room. 

Robbe is thankful Sander brought him here and not his house or Sander’s house, he doesn’t want to worry his mom or Sander’s parents, they would have to explain that night and Robbe doesn’t feel like going back to those memories again. It was embarrassing enough to have to make Sander take care of him again. Just like the first time, Sander had to basically carry Robbe somewhere where he felt safer. 

Sander left this morning, Robbe remembers a little bit, he was still sleeping when Sander told him he had a test he couldn’t miss, he also remembers Sander whispering against his lips that he would come back after class. Robbe checks his watch, he slept for five hours, it’s almost midday and he should be heading home, his mom is probably worried. 

He slowly gets up from the couch, feeling the tear tracks on his cheeks, making his skin all sticky, he needs to wash his face, to compose himself before talking to the others. They all saw how he got there, Zoe helped him take his shoes and jacket off while Sander got him some water to drink. Robbe remembers her face, holding back her own tears while trying to soothe him, laying him down to put his head on her lap.

When the voices disappear a little, Robbe assumes they’re in the kitchen and so he opens the door carefully, the hallway is empty. He takes a deep breath, brushing his palms against his cheeks, hoping nobody is going to ask for explanations right away. Sander probably told them what happened, so Robbe hopes whatever he told them is enough.

As he carefully walks inside the kitchen, Zoe and Milan both look at him, but just for one second, then they go back to their activities - Zoe making her food and Milan snacking on something that’s probably not his, sitting on the counter, constantly smiling - while including Robbe in their conversation. Robbe is thankful that they are at least pretending last night didn’t happen. With normal conversation and a good, chaotic mood that he still remembers very feel, making him feel a little better. 

He doesn’t look back, but he feels Zoe’s eyes on him as she circles the table and sits right in front of him, smiling when Robbe finally gathers the courage to meet her eyes. 

“Sander is coming back in a little bit, he texted me ten minutes ago...” She explains and Robbe nods his head, not really questioning why Zoe and Sander are texting each other, he really doesn’t want to acknoledge that they are probably worried about him and his mental health. 

His phone starts to vibrate on the desk, spinning slowly and Zoe stares at it. Robbe doesn’t check, it’s probably his mom, worried and he doesn’t know what to say to her, he doesn’t want to lie and so he’s just hoping he can go home and tell her in person. 

It keeps spinning as he receives more and more messages and Zoe rolls her eyes, both of them have the same idea, but she manages to grab his phone first, unlocking it easily. 

“No...Zoe...” He tries to ask but doesn’t have the strength to move his body and get his phone back. 

Zoe gets up, swallowing her food before reading his messages with a smile on her face already. 

“Dear Robin, cutie of my life. 

I love you so much. I miss you. 

I’m on my way back to the flat now, hope you had sweet dreams that included me. 

And hopefully with a Bowie background music. 

Maybe like that morning, with the croissants and some...other adventures ;) 

I’ll be home soon, wait for me, always, I love you. I miss you. 

Your Sander”  

Robbe feels his whole being warming up in embarrassment, but mostly in love. Nothing sounds better than a day tangled with the love of his life, forgetting that the outside world exists. 

There are a lot of things to be thankful for. His friends threating him normally, taking care of him while pretending they’re not, but mostly, Robbe is so very thankful for Sander. He doesn’t have to do anything for Robbe, that’s not what their relationship is based on, but Sander does so much for him and Robbe can’t believe this is his life from now on. 

Even when they started dating, he never thought it would feel like this. Like soulmates actually exist and, somehow, Robbe had found his at his very first try. Robbe sighs, trying to hold back his smile, looking at the ground as he turns to the side and gets up. 

Sander couldn’t come to the flat quick enough. After a quick fight, he finally manages to get his phone back, standing on his tiptoes to get it from Zoe’s hand at the top of her head. He’s very aware that he’s still smiling, laughing even, and aware of all the awww Milan and Zoe are still making, looking at him as he types his messages back to Sander. 

I miss you too much

Please come quick 

Milan and Zoe are cool and all, but they’re not you <3 

I love you 

Your Robbe 

[missnxthingg]

Cinnamon Coffee | Part Two

 A/N: So, I’m being nice this week, posting part two only a couple of days after Part One. That’s only because I’m going away in one week, and I wanna post every request left before I leave. So enjoy Part Two, I don’t know if it’s as good as part one.

Pairing: College!Fuckboy!Tom Holland x Reader

Words: 3K

Warnings: Mentions of sex, tears and swearing.

PART ONE

masterlist - main blog - gif source

The walk of shame. That’s what (Y/N) was doing right now. She was still half-drunk, holding her heels and bra on her hands, dress all wrinkled and makeup melting on her face, that including the stains left by her lipstick and mascara. She was crying and praying to not be seen by anyone. Lucky enough, her dorm was close to Tom’s. Actually, she didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing, because he would get to her in seconds.

The whole building was empty, everyone was at the party and it was pretty late, which meant that the showers were also empty. She spent a whole lotta time under the hot water, as if it would somehow get the bad feeling out of her. She cleaned her makeup and all the gross body fluid out of her and slided down to sit on the ground, hug her legs and cry. She needed a good cry, and the most of all, she needed to be alone.

Not that what happened tonight wasn’t good, it was fucking amazing. But she knew that right after she came, that was it, she was nothing else to him than a trophy. He got her in his bed, and that was it. Even if she denied it with all of her strength, she liked Tom. She liked every time he called her something nice, or did a nice gesture like getting her coffee or holding her books. But she shut him out because she knew she would break her heart, because after all, Tom was nothing else but a player. Giving in and going to bed with him was a huge mistake, because she had given him what he wanted all along. He didn’t even really cared about her.

She got into her most comfortable clothes and thanked God that her roommate was going to spend the night at her girlfriend’s room, which was all the way across campus. That way, she could have a good cry alone and not have to explain it to anyone. She cried herself to sleep that night, not before glancing up to the window, with the sun coming up outside.

Tom got really worried about her. He dressed up in a blink of an eye and looked for her everywhere, but she was long gone. The first place he went to was her dorm, but her room had its light off, curtains opened and no sign of the girl. He started to really worry about her, going back to the party to see if he could find her or someone she was friends with, and nothing. He spent the rest of the night looking for her around campus, finally giving up when it was 8 PM. He needed coffee.

He slowly walked to the café right next to her dorm to find the usual barista working along the sound of a soft music. He was tired, and that’s why he didn’t usually ordered his tea and decided to go for a coffee instead. Tom is not going to be able to shut his eyes until he found her. 

“Hello Tom, your usual?” The barista, Lizzie asked and he shook his head no.

“I want a coffee today.”

“The cinnamon latte?” She asked. It was his other regular order, as he usually gives it to (Y/N).

“No, humm… Espresso.” She nodded and went to do his coffee. He looked outside, the sun barely shining, but it was day already. He glance at her window and his heart ached, maybe she was already there. “Do you mind if I leave quickly? I won’t take long.”

“I’ll just get your coffee done.” She said and he nodded.

“Thanks.”

He ran outside, all the way through his window. One girl tried to talk to him, but he ignored her, going straight to (Y/N)’s window. He leaned against the glass and by a small gap between the curtains he was able to see her sound asleep in bed. He sighed in relief, she was alright. So, Tom decided to go back to the café to get his order.

“Can you give me that cinnamon latte, also two banana breads, and some of those mini croissants. The chocolate and the butter ones.”

“You can drink your coffee while I do the rest.” She smiled, knowing he was ordering (Y/N)’s full order. “Do I draw the little heart right next to her name?”

“Please.” He asked softly and she nodded.

It didn’t take long to get the order ready, but long enough for him to finish his small espresso while listening to that soft song and the sound of the coffee machine. He paid for the whole order and tipped the barista. He didn’t rush to get to her, because he wanted to let her sleep for a bit more. But soon he was standing in front of her window, knocking softly to not scare her off in her sleep.

(Y/N) blinked a couple of times before opening her eyes, woken up by soft knocks on her window. The clock said it was a little passed 8 AM and she had slept for only 3 hours and a couple of minutes. She rubbed her eyes and sat in bed, looking around, and she was all alone. She slightly opened the curtains to find Tom standing there with coffee and a bag. She closed the curtain right in his face and he knocked again.

“(Y/N), please let me talk to you.”

“I don’t wanna talk right now Tom.” She mumbled now back in her bed. She felt the tears floating back to her, as she hugged her legs again, as if that would somehow shield her from all the emotions coming towards her.

“Please, I’m so worried about you baby.” He said once again and that made (Y/N)’s heart ache. She wiped a tear away and didn’t answer. “I spent the whole night looking for you, please let me in.”

“I just wanna be alone.” He closed his eyes outside the window, pressing his lips together and desperately wanting to talk to her. He nodded, but he wasn’t ready to give up yet. (Y/N) stood there, crying and not bothered by Tom anymore, at least until she heard knocks on the door. “Please, let me rest.”

“I brought you coffee. Your favourite. And I also brought banana bread and mini croissants, the chocolate and the butter ones." Her heart warmed up, but it was still shattered. Somehow, she got some strength to get up and open the door. He smiled warmly and handed her the things he said. "If you really don't wanna talk, I can just drop this for you and go away. I was so worried."

"Stay." She whispered but it was enough for him to listen and follow her into the room. She rested the food over her table and sat in bed again, in the same position she was before, watching him sit next to her and make himself comfortable.

"Why did you run?"

"I-It's just… I swore to myself I would never sleep with you, and once we did it, I broke vow and I was just… Too much for me. And I'm all sorrow and everything hurts…" She crumbled even more, and his heart ached to see her like that.

"D-Did I hurt you?" He was shaking, scared of the answer. She didn't know what do say. He got her hair away from her neck to find a whole lot of dark marks around there. Tom's heart ached and he let a tear scape. "I'm so sorry baby girl, I didn't wanna hurt you, I just wanted to make you feel good."

"You did make me feel good. It was amazing. But what hurted me the most was that it was all I was going to get from you."

"What do you mean?"

"It means that after it was done, you would simply forget about me and collect my name as one of your trophies." She glanced back at him and Tom was crying too.

"I could never forget about you. I never did all of those things to get you to my bed. I genuinely like you." He held her hand and caressed it softly. "I know I'm not a good guy and that I don't deserve you, but I couldn't help but think you're the most beautiful girl in the world."

"Tom…" She sobbed and he stopped her.

"I just wish I didn't hurt you." He said, now looking down to his lap. "I just hope you're okay."

"It's just, you do it to every girl. How could I be so special to the point where I would have special treatment?"

"You're so special, and precious darling." He wiped one tear away from her face. "You're funny, you're kind, you're beautiful, inside and out. I let my feelings float when I was around you and I wish I didn't let my strong dom side be so hard on you, and I wish I could have properly asked you on a date."

"I really like you Tom, I just wish you would stop messing around with girls."

"I only did it because I thought you didn't want me." He said, tearing again. "I didn't sleep all night, looking for you. I came by, but you weren't in your room. I thought something had happened to you, I was so worried."

"I spent a good time crying in the shower." She chuckled, but her whole body hurted. She moaned in pain, shutting her eyes closed. "Everything fucking hurts."

"Do you have Tylenol? Or any painkiller?"

"My purse, right there on the table."

He got through the purse he had sticked many post-its with cute messages for her and got a painkiller out of it. He handed to her along with her latte and she leaned back to her pillow and drank it while they remained silent. He entwined their fingers and caressed the back of her hand. She closed her eyes, feeling his fingers massage her hand.

"I really like you too." He said, smiling tenderly to her.

"Thank you for the coffee." She said, resting it on the table next to her. She opened the bag and handed him one of the banana breads.

"I bought it for you, darling."

"I want to share. You must be starving." He nodded and took it as she smiled at him. "It means so much to me, the little things. Like, getting me breakfast, worrying about me."

"You deserve so much more."

"I have all I need." She kissed his cheek and started to eat one of the croissants.

They ate the whole thing silently, sometimes caressing each other, causing smiles to come out whenever that happened. They talked and apologized to each other for being such idiots with the other. Once they finished it, he got up to throw the things away, and yamned midway.

"You must be tired." She said and he nodded, rubbing his eyes.

"I think I might just go back to my dorm and sleep."

"C'mere." She said, pulling him by the wrist, making him sit in bed again. She sat in front of him and held his face between her hands, leaving a small peck on his lips. Tom smiled and she pulled him to lie down. She was facing him, but their legs were entwined and he was playing with her face while her hands rested on his chest.

"My pretty angel. You're heaven sent." He kissed her forehead and rested his chin on the top of her head. "It's so good to sleep and know you're safe."

"And that we're together."

"That's even better." He kissed the top of her head. "I promise to be gentle with you next times. I promise to take care of you, get you all the coffees and croissants you want and I promise to never let you go."

"I promise not to be a bitch and not so insecure about us."

He stroked her hair and she smiled with his touch, hugging him to get even closer, as if it was somehow possible. She rested her head at the crook of his neck while his nose was buried on her hair.

"Baby girl." He said, very low.

"Yeah."

"This feeling of having you in my arms is the most amazing one in the world. My pretty angel."

"Why do you always call me pretty angel?"

"Because that's how I see you. And I'm calling you MY pretty angel. You're mine now."

"I'm yours for a long time now."

"And I'm yours as well. You have my heart since the first day." He continued to stroke her hair and she smiled. "I think I'm falling for you."

"That's good."

"Why?"

"Because I might be falling for you too." This was his turn to smile and glue their lips in their first real kiss, one filled with real feelings. They smiled during the kiss, taking as much time as they could, and they had plenty of it. They separated when air was need, smiling so hard that their faces hurted.

“My pretty angel.” He caressed her face. “Where do you want to be taken for a first date?”

“Anywhere, as long as it is with you.” 

“I’ll think about something. Now can we please sleep?” He yawned and she nodded, turning around so he could pull her to sleep with him. 

“If my roommate comes in and find us like this, she’s never gonna leave me alone again.” She giggled and he shrugged.

“I don’t really care, you know.” He said, kissing the back of her neck. "Let's just… talk later."

"Alright." She pressed him tighter against her, getting even more comfortable around him.

“Sweet dreams baby girl.”

“Sweet dreams darling.”

(...)

It was Saturday again, a couple of weeks after that one party. (Y/N) was at her usual spot, this time not reading alone, but trying to get a little sun with Poppy, her roomate. They were enjoying their conversation when one person came around them. He wasn’t doing what he used to do every Saturday morning. This time, he was dressed up properly, holding three strawberry smoothies.

“Good morning ladies.” Tom said, sitting next to (Y/N), delivering both the girls one smoothie.

“Uhm… Thank you.” Poppy thanked, taking the smoothie.

“Somebody is being sweet today.” (Y/N) giggled and Tom threw his arm around her.

“I’m always sweet. I’m made of pure honey, baby girl.” He said, and she left a small peck on his lips.

Some girls passed through whispering and staring with very ugly face. (Y/N) recognized them as the girls that used to always be running after Tom across the campus, but he never actually talked to them. Since the party events and since they talked about their relationship, they started to be more public, and just like that, the hottest guy on campus was dating someone, and that caused a lot of hate towards them. Tom and (Y/N) were the main topic of many conversations, and it somehow still makes (Y/N) laugh.

“Dude, this girls are so mad that we are together.” She giggled, taking another sip of her smoothie. “How is it going to the desired boy in campus?”

“I think almost every girl I had on my contact list blocked me. But that’s okay, I only need the number of two.”

“Two?” (Y/N)’s blood boiled in jealousy and Tom chuckled.

“Yeah, you fool. Yours and my mum’s.” She rolled her eyes and he smiled, pulling her to another kiss. “You’re jealous already?”

“I’m not jealous.” She crossed her arms and he kissed all over her face to make her soften. “Stop it! I hate losing an argument because of kisses.”z

“Seriously, I still don’t know how you guys happened.” Poppy said, now halfway done with her smoothie. “I mean, she was cursing you with all of her strength two weeks ago, and now she’s kissing you.”

“That’s called repressed love, darling.” Tom said and it made the girl under his arm roll her eyes.

“That’s not it.”

“Really?”

“You haven’t even asked me to be your girlfriend yet.” She crossed her arms and puffed her chest.

“Well, I’m waiting for the right moment.” Poppy giggled.

“I always knew you two would end up together.” She pointed at the couple, still giggling.

“You did?” (Y/N) furrowed her brows and Poppy nodded.

“Of course I did. I’m not stupid. You talked about Tom… A lot! And you would keep staring at him like undressing him with your eyes. Kind of gross, actually.”

“I fucking knew it!” He said, pointing to the girl right next to him.

“You don’t have moral until you actually ask me to be your girlfriend.”

“Shut up love.” He kissed her and pulled her to his lap.

“So, I guess I’ll see my girlfriend, because I don’t like being the third wheel.” Poppy got up and pulled her purse up.

“Hey, maybe we should go on a double date sometime.” Tom said and (Y/N) nodded, agreeing with him.

“Yeah, maybe after he asks me to be his girlfriend just like Gen did to you, Pops.”

“Oh for fuck sake! Will you be my girlfriend?” Tom asked, now angry at her and she giggled, kissing him briefly.

“Not yet.”

“You’re confusing me!” 

“Now you know how I get with all of these feelings.”

“Just accept it, (Y/NN)!” Poppy shouted, now much far away.

“I don’t think I will.” She glanced at Tom and kept staring at his eyes for long seconds. “Or maybe these eyes will make me accept it.”

“So do it.” He whispered, taking her lips again.

“I do want to be your girlfriend, Thomas.”

“Good, cause I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t want to.” She smiled and got up, standing one hand in the air for helping him get up. “What are you doing?”

“I wanna do some things with my boyfriend.” She said, getting really close to his ear. “But I don’t think that kind of stuff is proper to make in public.” He smiled at what she said, feeling his trousers get tight down there, only with her words.

“So my room or yours?”

……………………….

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[mymelodyheart]

Starting Over Chapter 19 ~The Things We Do For Love~

Claire updated the last of the patients' charts from the morning consultation and then checked her phone. As soon as she saw the number of voice messages and unread texts from Jamie, she groaned and dropped her forehead on the desk.  Bloody   stubborn man! Why doesn't he get it?  Ever since she left Lallybroch three days ago, she'd been ignoring his calls, muting her phone and trying to keep busy. Unfortunately, cutting him out of her life wasn't going to be an easy feat. Besides sleep eluding her thinking about him, Jamie found creative ways to get her attention. 

On her first day at St Leonard's Medical Centre, there was a bouquet of flowers waiting for her, with a note wishing her good luck on her temporary job, signed  love Jamie . To her dismay, although her new colleagues were friendly and lively, they were also nosy and an inquisitive bunch, passing Jamie's wee card to one another and coaxing her to show a picture of the sender. She'd brushed them off with a smile and some excuse needing to familiarise herself with the clinic. But it didn't help her cause when not long after, coffee and croissants were delivered by staff from a nearby cafe and once again with a note signed  love Jamie .

Now everywhere she looked in the clinic, and at home, were reminders of him - flowers, plants, sweet treats, stuff toys, and also freaking balloons and pillow for neck support. What the hell?  She really ought to speak to Jaime, but what was the point? She thought she would be able to handle a fling and even courted the notion that Jamie might warm up to the idea of a long term commitment after meeting his parents. Of course, it was wishful thinking and unrealistic, now that the possibility of a job with the sports network was looming. She couldn't even last more than twenty-four hours in their arrangement. Talking to him now would only weaken her resolve and end up back in a relationship that had no future.

There had to be another way to get Jamie out of her system. She was cranky, tired and most of all, miserable because she missed him, and it was affecting her ability to function. And to make matters worse, the clinic was beginning to look like a gift shop, with all of Jamie's presents and offerings strewn about. Definitely not good when trying to make a good impression with the head of the clinic, Dr John Grey, an old friend of Joe and acquaintance of hers.

John was sympathetic when she'd apologised for the scene she was causing as everyone became caught up with the excitement. To her horror, bets were already being placed amongst staff, speculating whether the gifts were from an overly devoted boyfriend or a desperate suitor. Once again, her private life was generating interest, and even if it was on a smaller scale compared to paparazzi skulking around her home, it was still  bloody  intrusion.

It wasn't her intention to leave Jamie without a word. After being caught up with the beautiful day she had with the Frasers, her senses saturated in fine wine and Jamie kneeling before her, pleading not to break up with him, she'd been so close to revealing her feelings. It would have been the final humiliation if she'd bared her soul and heart to a commitment-phobe. If she hadn't known him any better, she would have believed Jamie was actually in love with her. The sound of his phone ringing had brought her back from the land of fantasy, and Claire sobered up quick. Without stopping to think, she'd ran and was grateful she'd caught Joe in time saying his farewell to Brian and Ellen. If Jamie's parents had been surprised to see her leave in a hurry with Joe, they'd shown no indication.

Now, she needed to get real. She'd had her Jamie and enough memories of him to warm her during the long, cold winter nights. She had to be happy with that. It wasn't Jamie's fault, and he had been forthright with her right from the start, giving her no illusions of a happily-ever-after. Time to get a firmer grip of reality and move on.

The door opened, and Mary, the senior receptionist, walked in. "Sorry about this Dr Beauchamp. I must have missed this." She waved a file folder in her hand. "Were ye about to go for yer coffee break? The patient can wait for Dr Grey instead. He doesnae look like he's about to die." She placed a cupcake on her desk.

Claire smiled. "It's alright, Mary, I'll take it. And thank you for the cupcake." No coffee nor croissants had arrived for her that morning, and her stomach was growling, having had no breakfast earlier. Maybe Jamie had given up, and that's the reason she was feeling a bit off. The cupcake should tide her over until dinner time. Sighing, she got up and put on her white coat. "So what's up with our patient?" she asked.

"The patient is Mr Alexander Malcolm. Heart palpitations, trouble with eating and sleeping, occasional hallucination, chest pains. He probably just over-indulged on curry and beer if I may say so. Some of these folks that come here doesnae need treatment and just want to get off from work. I'd say it's a bloody waste of NHS money," Mary scoffed.

Claire sighed inwardly. "Send Mr Malcolm to room 2. I won't take a minute."

"Aye, will dae." And Mary left.

Unfortunately what Mary said was true. Some of the people that came to the clinic were better off staying at home and resting. She missed the frenetic schedules she had at the Royal Infirmary and working under pressure at the surgical unit. All she'd done the last few days were diagnose patients with common ailments such as colds and flu, collect fluid and tissue samples for labs and administer or prescribe medications. It was a good thing she was only here for a couple of weeks.

Claire walked into room two with the patient's folder. "Good morning, Mr Malco ..." She stopped in her tracks when she found Jamie sat on the chair in front of a small desk. "What the hell ..."  Alexander Malcolm  ...of course, she should have known! He used his middle name. She'd been so distracted, the name hadn't immediately registered.

She made a move to go, but Jamie launched himself towards her and grabbed her hand before she could back out into the corridor. "Wait, Sassenach ...hear me out." Heart pounding hard, she stilled, as he pushed the door shut behind her. "I'm sorry for doing this. But ye left me with nae choice."

"Jamie ..." Her pulse started tumbling all over itself at the sight of him. He looked great except for the dark circles under his eyes, and his scent was making her giddy. 

"Please," he pleaded, his voice sounding like suffering.

He was standing so close, her fingers itched to touch him. But Claire steeled her resolve. "Fine ... you have two minutes. Let me remind you, you are wasting precious NHS resources."

He let out a breath of relief. "I'll pay for my way."

"That'll cost you. You have a lot of symptoms."

Hand still planted on the door, he stepped closer. "Then, ye'll need more than two minutes to diagnose me ..."

She placed a hand on his chest, stopping his forward progress. "Jamie ..." she warned.

Jamie dragged an impatient hand through his hair. "I wanted to see ye and ye wouldnae let me, alright? Ye left Lallybroch without a word, and I'd like to know what I've done wrong. Ye wouldnae answer my calls, so ye left me with nae other options. And I'm pissed off. I'm so pissed off like naebody's business because it scares the shit out of me that I may not be able to hold ye again." Taking advantage of her open-mouthed confusion, he leaned in very close, and his gravelly voice dropped low. "I ken I pushed too far too quickly. But all I ask of ye, is one chance, Sassenach. One chance. Tonight. I want to talk, and there's something I need to tell ye. But not here, though. And after we're done talking and ye dinnae like what I have to say, and ye still want to walk out of my life ..." He paused and swallowed hard as if he was having difficulty forming the words. "... I'll let ye go, and I'll never bother ye again."

His words bored an uncomfortable hole in her chest. "Y-you'll let me go?" she whispered. 

He dropped his head forward. "If that is yer wish," he muttered in a pained tone.

"Jamie, I thought I could handle this, but ..." Self-preservation constrained her from saying more.

He looked into her eyes and pleaded. "Have dinner with me tonight, Sassenach. And we'll talk."

Not a great idea.  "Fine, I'll come."

Jamie squeezed his eyes shut for a few heartbeats, and when he finally opened them, his face relaxed. "Shall I pick ye up here or at home?"

"No!" she said too abruptly. "I mean, I'll come in my own car and meet you." It was for the best, she thought. "Where shall we meet?"

"At my place. I'll cook. I hope ye like Italian."

Oh, so definitely not a good idea.  "Alright, I'll be there at seven, and I like Italian." 

She made a move to go, but Jamie stopped her. "How about my symptoms?"

Claire smothered a smile. "I'm giving you the all-clear and please, don't forget to pay at the reception." She left the room and headed out to see Mary.

...........

Claire stood outside Jamie's apartment door, fidgeting with the bottle of grappa. She'd arrived fifteen minutes earlier and snuck into his building when a resident came out of the main entrance. Now standing outside in his corridor, she couldn't bring herself to ring his doorbell. What could they possibly talk about that would make her change her mind about their relationship? Taking huge calming deep breaths, she let her head dropped to the left, then to the right of her shoulders, in an attempt to relax, the fragrance of tomato sauce cooking, making her mouth water, a reminder she hadn't eaten the whole day. Although hungry, she was not ready to confront Jamie yet, so she began walking in circles and counting backwards from a hundred.

"What are ye doing, Sassenach? I've been watching ye through the peephole for the last three minutes."

Claire jumped.  Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!   Bloody hell!  She took a deep breath and faced the door. "Alright, open up before I change my mind and go."

"I cannae have ye doing that." The door suddenly swung open, revealing a barefoot Jamie. His hair was still wet from the shower, and he wore a faded black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, a tea towel casually hung on his right shoulder. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the doorjamb and looked at her thoughtfully. 

She frowned at him.  Why does he have to look so good?  "How did you know I was out here?"

"I saw ye parking your car from my window. Ye really ought to practice more on yer parallel parking. Ye're terrible at it."

She scoffed. "It was bloody tight."

"I was waiting for ye to ring the bell so I could buzz ye in and when ye didn't, I thought ye'd gone to the wrong place."

"I was early."

"I'm glad ye're here now." He gazed openly at her, his eyes taking her all in, making her suddenly hot in the cool summery dress she was wearing.

"M-me too." Claire crushed the urge to throw herself at him and strived for calm and common sense. "Something smells good. What's cooking?" When he didn't say anything and continued to stare, she became self-conscious at the intensity of his perusal. "What?"

He sighed. "I'm still trying to decide how to greet ye, but after the way ye ran away the other day, I dinnae want to presume anything."

Her mouth went dry. "How about you let me in, and we'll take it from there?"

He straightened himself and turned sideways, opening the door only a fraction more, hardly giving her enough room to pass. As she squeezed past him, he stopped her and tilted her chin up with a finger. "May I?" he asked, looking at her lips.

Her heart did a double backflip.  Ah, what the hell!  Trying not to think about the hard muscles pressing against her, she licked her lips and nodded. Lowering his head, his eyes lit up, and he smiled. And when he kissed her, it was only a mere brushing of their lips, but it was enough to make her head spin.

"Hi," he whispered against her mouth.

"H-hi." Attempting to get her bearings back on even ground, she held up the bottle in her hand. "Y-you said you were making something Italian, so I b-brought grappa."

He arched an eyebrow. "Grappa? Normally, people bring wine to dinner."

"Ah, I figured you would have had the wine sorted out. This will make a nice aperitif or after-dinner drink. I just wanted to keep the Italian theme going."  God, oh God, he smells so good.  

"Sounds grand." He took the bottle from her hand and smiled. "Are ye coming in?"

"Of course, after you," she stammered, feeling slightly flustered.

"Sassenach?"

"Hmmm?" She was staring at his neck, imagining running her tongue along the column of his throat. 

"Ye're standing on my foot."

"Oh, sorry." She felt the heat creep up her face and darted past him.  Get a grip, Beauchamp! You're here to put an end to this non-relationship thingy!

The moment she stepped in, she instantly forgot her embarrassment and stared with awe at his apartment. The last time she was here, she'd been stood outside in the corridor and never got to see the inside. 

His apartment was bright and spacious and not what she'd expected at all from a bachelor's pad. The living space, kitchen and dining area all flowed into one big open plan. And although it had been modernised, it retained a lot of the Victorian era features with cornice moulding and high ceilings. It had solid oak flooring and beautiful exposed natural woodwork throughout, and sash and case windows. She'd expected dark colours and leathers. Instead, he had a plush L-shape red sofa, silvery-grey area rugs and matching curtains. He didn't have a lot of things except for the hardback books that lined the shelves and laptop and gaming accessories on the coffee table; nevertheless, the apartment looked lived in and very inviting.

"Jamie, your place is beautiful," she gushed. She turned around to find him watching her from the kitchen with an amused expression. After admiring the view from his window, she walked over to the granite island and slid into the stool. "And your kitchen is a chef's dream."

"I'm glad ye like it," he beamed, putting a block of parmesan cheese and grater on a wooden board. "I hope ye like pasta. Most women tend to stay away from carbs."

"I live for carbs." She began to relax as she watched him retrieve the wine and shot glasses and place the already opened bottle of Barbera on the counter. On cue, she uncapped the grappa and poured them their aperitif while Jamie stirred the sauce. "Do you cook all the time?"

"Here at home? Rarely," he replied. "I've only cooked for my brothers and sister when they come over to visit." He dipped a finger into the sauce and put it into his mouth to taste it. And then he grinned.

"Good?"  Oh Lordy, Lordy, he looks delicious enough to eat.

"Uh-huh. Very good." He added a pinch of pepper and stirred the sauce some more, winking at her.

Jamie looked at ease, working the kitchen and seemed to be in his element. It was a shame he wasn't the type to settle down, and the sooner she accepted that fact, the easier it would be for her to move on. "It smells heavenly. What's the sauce?" she asked, striving to sound cheerful.

" Sugo alla puttanesca , basically it's tomato sauce with anchovies, capers and black olives. It's a simple recipe Jenny taught me. It's done now. Want to taste?" 

Claire wondered why he was going through so much trouble just to talk, but she suspected he wanted to put her at ease after she did a runner on him a few days ago. She knew already more or less what he wanted to discuss about, but she'd already made up her mind. She wanted love and marriage and family, and she was never going to get that from Jamie. It was better to nip whatever they have in the bud before the heartache became too much to bear. For now, she was going to enjoy their last evening together before they go their separate ways.

Schooling her features, she got up from her stool and handed him a shot of grappa and picked up hers. "How about a shot first?" She needed one so badly.

"Sure," he said, taking the glass and raising it. "To ye Sassenach."

She sucked in a breath and raised hers. "And to all yer hopes and dreams, Jamie..." she whispered, meaning it with her whole heart and clinking their glasses together. "...may they all come true."

He smiled. "I'll drink to that."

They downed the shot in one go and slammed their glasses down at the same time, the clacking noise on the granite echoing through his kitchen. Claire grimaced at the heat that scorched her throat and Jamie's full lips, still moist from the alcohol, tilted into a mischievous smile. Her eyes watered, and she shook her head.

"Oh good, God, that was strong," she breathed, already feeling the effects of the grappa going into her head. She mentally reminded herself to go easy as she hadn't eaten all day. "I think I'm ready to taste that sauce."

Laughter bubbled out of his chest, and he took her hand and pulled her next to the hob. Scooping a spoonful from the pot, he blew into it and then held to her lips. "Open."

Her jaw dropped, and her mouth was filled with delicious herby tomato sauce. She let it swirl in her tongue and then she smiled. "Mmmm, yum."

He grinned and bit his lip. "More?"

She nodded, her stomach growling noisily.

They both laughed out loud as they heard the grumble.

"Your stomach must really love me," Jamie teased, holding the spoon next to her lips.

She giggled, enjoying the rich taste of the sauce and still feeling the pleasant warmth from the grappa they drank. "Not just my stomach, Jamie. All of me loves you," she said, before opening her mouth.

Jamie's head shot up, and he blinked as if coming to from a long sleep, and she caught the shocked look in his eyes. "What did ye say?"

"Huh?" Her eyes widened, and she clapped a hand over her mouth.  Oh, sweet mother of God, what have I done!  She slowly backed away from him. "What do you think I said?"

Oh, he knows exactly what I've just said.  Claire held her breath and waited for him to call off their evening. Maybe it's for the best now that he knew what she felt. That would probably scare the bejesus out of his wits and save her from long explanations why they couldn't be together. But instead, a slow smile formed his lips. "Ye ken fine what I heard ye say."

"But ..."

He closed the distance between them and lifted her up by the waist and settled her on the kitchen counter. Parting her knees, he pulled her against him. "Tell me again, Sassenach." Before she could reply, he closed his mouth over hers, not giving her a chance to push him away nor to think. His tongue delved into her mouth, plunging inside to mate with hers, his hands firmly gripping her waist.

Raw emotions came in waves and engulfed her, making it hard for her to breathe. This was too much. Jamie must have misunderstood.

Sensing her hesitation, Jamie paused and looked at her, worry marring his features. "What's wrong, Sassenach, speak to me," he whispered. "Did ye not say ye love me?"

Her eyes welled up with tears. There was no point in fibbing and denying it. Jamie had caught her off-guard, and she knew he wasn't going to let the matter go. Resigning herself to the fact he'd never be able to reciprocate the love she had for him, she took deep fortifying breaths and willed the secret deep in her heart to have its say. "I do love you, Jamie and I know you can't love me back. I just can't bear to hear you say it. A-and I know you don't..."

"Ah, Christ." He closed his eyes as if a realisation dawned on him, and Claire saw the sheer anguish that creased his face. He leaned in to tenderly kiss her, his tongue tracing the swollen flesh of her lips, a gesture that bespoke reverence and humility. And when Jamie finally opened his eyes and looked into hers, the air whooshed out of her lungs. He was letting her see it all and allowing her in. The truth was all there to see in his face. "I love ye, Sassenach. I've love ye ever since that day in Lallybroch when I first heard yer voice behind that mask. But I was too daft and full of mysel' not to realise it. I'm so sorry for everything. For the conditions, I've placed on us. Ye didn't deserve that. All of this is new to me, and I'm still grappling, and I ken it's nae excuse for how I've behaved. If ye'll have me back, I promise to make it up for ye."

She was stunned beyond words, disabling her speech for a moment, as joy and relief competed to overwhelm her, but it was too easy. She pulled slightly away from his hold, searching his face. "Jamie, I don't think I have the strength nor the will to compete with the other women."

A pained sound escaped his throat. "Sassenach, there's never been and never will be anyone for me but ye. I thought I had it all before ye came to my life, but now that ye're here, I see my past as nothing but meaningless existence. And the future looks bleak if I cannae see ye in it. There'll never be another woman for me as long as ye walk the face of the earth, and no woman will ever make me feel the way ye do. Ye made me whole, and I would like it to remain that way." His voice struck with intensity as he pulled her in tight and spoke against her lips. "Please, Sassenach, allow me to prove myself."

Her heart started to speed up. "Is this why you asked me to come for dinner tonight?"

"Aye," he replied, stroking her hair. "Because I wanted to talk about this and us, and beg for yer forgiveness. I was running out of ideas to get ye to speak to me that I had to bribe yer receptionist to help me get through to ye."

Claire stilled. "What?? Mary??"

"Aye, the very one." He gave her a lopsided grin. "She wasnae interested in rugby, and she said she's never heard of me before, so I couldnae bribe her with tickets. But I found out she has a weakness for cupcakes and chocolate eclairs." His face turned serious and his brows puckered. "If she knew how desperate I was, she could have asked me for anything, and I would've given it to her just for a chance to speak to ye."

"You could have made your life easier and came to my house ..." she whispered.

"I was tempted, but I thought ...no. There was that possibility ye didnae want to see me anymore, and I didnae want ye feeling trapped in yer own home. All I'm asking for is a second chance, Sassenach."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, unable to believe he wanted her as much as she wanted him. "Yes," she laughed, tears of joy spilling from her eyes.

"Yes?"

The wall she had carefully built around her heart shattered with full force, allowing him to feel and see the love she'd kept hidden for years. "Yes, Jamie. I've loved you for so long and from afar even before we met."

His body sagged against hers, hands roaming all over her back, pulling, tugging and caressing as his lips planted kisses all over her face. "Sassenach, come to the sports award with me, please."

She nodded vigorously as she kissed him back, extracting a ragged groan from him. This time there were no reservations, doubt or question hanging in the air as he lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom. Tonight's dinner could be put on hold a little longer and tomorrow's problems could wait. Because first, they needed to heal each other.

[paigenotblank]

nine/rose, secret admirer

tagging @doctorroseprompts for providing the prompt list.

prompt: secret admirer

pairing: nine x rose

AO3  TSP

A Not So Secret Admiration

Rose was browsing through the sci-fi new releases at her favorite bookshop, when she heard a whispered argument from the brother and sister who’d recently taken over the shop from their grandfather. She didn’t want to intrude, but at the same time she couldn’t help overhearing.

“What crawled up your arse this morning?”

“Donna!”

“No, seriously. You’ve been a right prat since I got in this morning.”

There was a heavy, masculine sigh.

“Did you eat breakfast? You know how you get when you don’t eat.”

He mumbled. “Didn’t have time.”

Rose heard a feminine snort. “Mr. I Don’t Need More Than 4 Hours of Sleep, didn’t have time for breakfast? An’ what were you doing this morning instead of eating? Shagging that ex of yours that’s been sniffin’ around, tryin’ to convince you to sell the shop and take her traveling?”

Rose couldn’t resist peeking around the bookcase. John, Donna’s brother, ran a hand down his face. “Was goin’ over the books again last night and fell asleep upstairs. Didn’t wake up ‘til 15 minutes before we opened. An’ for the record, I haven’t seen Reinette since she eloped with Louis.”

“Right. Sorry.” Donna’s expression softened and she patted her brother on the arm. “But you’ve got to take better care of yourself. That’s the fifth time in two weeks that you’ve slept here. You can’t keep-”

“I brought in a camp bed. It’s fine.” He ran his hand over his close cropped hair. “I’m missing something. I know we can turn this place around and bring in a lot more money, I just have to figure out how.”

“John…” Donna bit her lip. “Er, so how bad is it?”

“We managed to turn a small profit this month, but with all the debt Gramps managed to get into, we still don’t have the money to make any new hires. Sorry, I know you’d rather spend more time at home with Gramps and the kids.”

“A profit’s good, yeah? A step in the right direction at any rate. I know how you get when you put your mind to something. If you think we can turn it around, then it’s only a matter of time. An’ don’t worry about me, I can stick around a bit longer. I mean after I get back from my holiday. I’m still plannin’ on going-”

“No. I know. I wouldn’t ask you to cancel. And thanks.”

“That’s me, best sister in Chiswick. Now get your arse next door, and get somethin’ to eat before I have to leave for the school run.”

Rose’s eyes widened and she blindly grabbed a book from the shelf. With a bright smile on her face, she walked around the tall, bookcases toward the front of the shop.

“Rose! Didn’t see you there.”

She shrugged. “On my lunch break and you know I can’t resist checking the new releases.” She handed John her book and credit card and rested her elbows on the counter. “Also, I just wanted to tell you how much I loved the Madman in a Box that you recommended.”

John’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, before his eyes took on a glint of mischief. “So much that you wanted to read it again?”

“Oh, yes! Definitely plannin’ on it.” She smiled at him with a hint of tongue poking out the side.

His eyes darted down to her lips and he had to clear his throat. “You know you can reread the copy you bought last week.”

“Huh?”

He held up the book that she’d handed him. The very same Madman in a Box that she’d purchased the week before.

She gaped at it for a second and blushed. “Uh, oh, this one’s for a friend. A, erm, a…a gift for her birthday.”

He grinned a lopsided smile, one that might have looked daft if he wasn’t so bloody handsome, that caused another flush to appear on Rose’s face - although this time it had nothing to do with embarrassment. “I was just teasing.”

“Right. Yeah. I reckoned.”

He handed her the book and credit card back. “I hope your friend enjoys it as much as you did.”

“Thanks. Laters.” She gave Donna and John a small wave and headed out the door.

“My God, just ask her out already.”

John startled and crossed his arms over his chest. “What? I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

Donna crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes.

John shook his head. “Just leave it. She’s not interested in me.”

“She absolutely fancies you. Ask. Her. Out.”

John moved to fiddle with the buttons and levers of the antique cash register. “I’m too old for her. An’ even if that wasn’t enough, she’s…she’s like a ray of sunshine. An’ ’m a storm cloud. She’d never-”

“John, Rose is one of the most compassionate people I’ve ever met. She had a rough childhood, but she fought all the stereotypes and people telling her she wasn’t good enough and made something of her life. She’s exactly the type of woman you need, one who can understand everything you’ve been through.”

“But what about her? What does she get? A broken old soldier? She deserves better.”

“Oi! That’s my brother your talking about. He’s a brilliant, hard-working, adventurous, and fantastic man. Any woman would be lucky to have him.”

John flushed at his sister’s praise and mumbled, “Thanks.”

“Now get your arse next door, and let Miss Tyler butter your scone.”

“Donna! What- I- What’s that even mean?”

Her peal of laughter followed him from the shop.

–

The few mornings later, John was rushing to open and found a steaming cup of coffee and a white bag of freshly baked croissants complete with little jars of assorted jams waiting in front of the door. He looked around but the early morning street was deserted. He picked up the treats and noticed a message written underneath the Bad Wolf Bakery logo: Hope you have a brew-tiful day! xx

He pushed the door open to the bookstore and scratched his head. Who on Earth sent him breakfast? Oh! Breakfast! Must be Donna’s doing. Knowin’ she can’t keep an eye on me while in Egypt. An’ she always signs her texts with ‘xx.’ I’ll have to remember to thank her when I talk to her later.

In his rush to prepare the store for opening, the thought was soon forgotten.

–

All week, it was the same. He’d taken to sleeping in his office while Donna was away, but without fail, every morning, just before opening, there was a coffee and something freshly baked waiting for him by the front door. Sometimes there was a funny little coffee pun or joke about books written on the cup, other days a simple ‘xx.’

He was sipping that morning’s said coffee, when the bell over the door signaled a customer.

“Rose! You’re here early today.”

She bit her lip and gave him a small grin. “Yeah. My mum got caught up in a work emergency, so I’ve got to pick up my little brother from his créche during my lunch break an’ I didn’t wanna miss our, erm, out on any new releases.”

“Blimey. You must be my best customer.”

“Oh…” Rose blushed and lowered her eyes to the floor.

“Love me an avid reader.” When she’d garnered the courage to look once more at John, he was giving her a soft smile. “I’m the same. ‘S why I run this place.”

“I thought you got it from your granddad?”

Running a hand along the close cropped hair at his nape, his grin turned sheepish. “Aye, but coulda sold it. I love books though, me, and running this place is a dream come true.”

Rose smiled up at him. “Nice neighborhood too.”

John swallowed as his eyes narrowed in on her lips. “Yeah, like the neighbor a lot.” Rose’s lips formed a perfect ‘o’ and his gaze flew up to hers. “I mean, the neighbors! All of them. I didn’t mean to imply- Not that you’d be- I, er, I meant that everyone’s been really great since I got here. You included, of course. Don’t know what I’d do without your breakfasts. Probably starve. Or scare away all the customers. I’m a right grump when I haven’t eaten. And I’m gonna stop talkin’ now.” He covered his eyes with his hand.

“I, er, I’m just gonna go check on those…” She pointed toward the book cases.

Rose ducked into the first aisle she came to and leaned against the shelves trying to calm her fluttering heart. What’d he mean by- Was it a Freudian slip, or just a mistake? I thought he might- An’ he was staring at my lips, but then… Ugh. Get a grip. He’s obviously not interested or he would’ve already asked you out and the sooner you get that through your stupid-

“Rose?”

She pushed off the bookcase and smiled brightly. “Yeah?”

“Biographies today?”

Rose glanced over to the books on her left. “Oh, uh, yeah. Thought I’d change it up a bit.”

John stepped right into her personal space and reached up to one of the upper shelves. One whiff of his cologne and it set her heart back to hammering wildly in her chest. God, he smells good. How does he have any right to smell…that good? She bit the inside of her lip to keep from embarrassing herself with a moan or sigh.

“Then I think you’ll really enjoy this one.”

Rose took the book he’d pulled down for her and stared at it. She couldn’t make her eyes concentrate on the words of the title - his nearness was overwhelming all her senses.

“Y-yeah. Looks great.”

He tilted his head and examined her face. “Are you okay? You look a little flushed.”

“Yup! Never better.” She forced a big smile and tried to hold her breath without being obvious about it. Seriously, what kind of cologne is he wearing? It made her want to push him against the stacks and snog him senseless.

He took a step closer to her, and-

“Well, don’t you two look cozy?”

A squeak of surprise from Rose had John turning around.

“Donna! What are you doing back? I thought you weren’t due back ‘til-”

“Cut the trip short.”

“What? Why?”

“Egypt wasn’t what I expected. You know how I was gonna go barefoot? But it was all bus trips and guidebooks and ‘don’t drink the water.’”

“Let me guess, Lee drank the water?”

Donna sighed and nodded. “He was miserable. I was miserable. So we decided to just come home.”

“Sorry.”

Rose stood clutching the book, trying not to attract the notice of John’s sister. Not that she didn’t like the other woman, quite the opposite. It seemed, though, that more often than not, she was around when Rose was making a fool of herself in front of John. And she always gave her such a knowing glance. God, I must be so obvious.

“Eh, it’s okay. Missed the kids anyway.” Donna turned her sights on Rose.

Shit.

“Hi, Rose. You’re in awfully early today.”

“Hi, Donna. Sorry to hear about your trip.”

Donna waved away her concern and her mouth tilted into a smile. “It’s nothing. I’m more interested in whether my idiot brother finally asked you-”

“Donna!” He hissed at his sister, before grabbing the book from Rose. “C’mon, Rose. Let me ring you up.”

Rose looked from John to Donna and back. “Asked me what?”

The tips of John’s ears turned a delightful shade of red. “Oh, er, whether you, erm, might like to…” Her eyes shone with hope. “Erm, I’ve been thinking about…oh, having a book signing here, if I can manage it, I’d like to get Davis T. Russell.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, you know, the author of Madman in a Box.”

She smiled as she handed her credit card over. “Yeah. That sounds amazing.” Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

He handed her back her credit card and watched as she walked out the door.

Donna slapped him upside the head.

“Oi!”

“You really are an idiot. Book signing?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “‘S somethin’ I’ve been thinking about doing. What?”

“Just ask her out.” Donna picked up John’s coffee cup and took a sip. She nearly gagged. “Ugh. Cold coffee.”

“Well, yeah. It’s from this morning.”

Donna’s eyebrow rose as she noticed the ‘xx’ on the side of the cup. “Two kisses?”

“Yeah? It’s how you always sign off on texts.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, you’ve been buying me breakfast all week.”

“What? No I haven’t.”

“Donna, all week since you’ve been gone, breakfast has been waiting for me at the door with your two little x’s sign off.”

A cheeky grin blossomed over Donna’s face. “Wasn’t me, sunshine. Sounds like someone’s got a secret admirer. Though, come on, not really all that secret, is it?”

“What does that mean? Who?”

Donna rolled her eyes. “It says it right on the side of the cup. Who do we know that owns a place called Bad Wolf Bakery?”

“You can’t mean Rose?”

“She has a huge crush on you to the point that she comes in every single day to see you.”

“Donna…”

“The same Rose that you just let walk out of here even though she was waiting for you to ask her out!”

“She wasn’t.”

“She was.”

John glanced at the door. “You really think…?”

“Yes! Now go after her.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. John rushed out the door and toward the bakery entrance.

He pulled open the door. “Rose!”

She squeaked, hands at her back from tying her apron back on. “John?”

He walked up to her and with his intense stare asked, “Have you been sending me breakfast all week?”

“Er, yeah.”

“Why?”

She bit her lip and her eyes darted nervously around the shop. “Oh, well, I knew that with Donna away that you probably wouldn’t have time, and then when you didn’t come in at your normal time for your coffee… I, erm, just wanted to make sure you had breakfast.” She blushed under his scrutiny. “‘S the most important meal of the day.”

The way he was looking at her had her pulse racing, and she jumped when he finally spoke. “Would you like to go out for dinner with me?”

“Wha’?”

“I, er, a date? I…really like you an’ ‘ve been wanting to ask you out for a while. Just too big of a coward, me.”

“Yeah? I’ve been hoping you’d ask me out for a while. And I’d love to.”

The two stood grinning daftly at each other until Amy threw a dish towel at them for blocking the register.

–

One year later:

John took a sip of his coffee and savored the last of the morning’s quiet moments. He’d be unlocking the shop’s front door in a matter of minutes.

Rose walked through the newly built archway that connected their two stores carrying two mugs. She handed one to Donna and snuggled into John’s side holding the other.

“Thanks, Rose.” Donna took a sip of her tea and asked, “How was the honeymoon?”

“Barcelona was beautiful.”

“Did you two even make it out of the hotel room to see any of it?”

Rose shook her head and raised herself onto her toes to kiss her new husband.

John chuckled. “There may’ve been one or two days of sightseeing.”

Rose slapped his chest. “Oi!”

“Is it my fault I have the most ravishing wife on the planet?”

She stuck her tongue out the side of her smile. “Well, yeah, but Donna doesn’t need to know all the dirty details.” She turned dancing eyes to her new sister-in-law. “And believe me, they were very, very dirty. Filthy even.”

For once in her life, Donna blushed. “Oh my god, you’re as bad as him! Too much information!”

Rose shrugged and primly stated, “You’re the one who asked.”

John stole another kiss from his radiant wife. “Ready, love?”

“Ready.”

Rose walked to the front door of the bakery as John prepared to open his own. They’d merged their lives as they had their livelihoods. Bad Wolf Bakery & Booksellers was open for business.

[gold-from-straw]

Frozen Heart - ch5

Loki has a bad morning, but on the plus side, now Tony is well rested, he's able to recognise some accidental culture clash and resolve their awful misunderstanding! TW for panic attacks, blood, and accidental self-harm caused by a nightmare.

Read from the beginning on AO3 if you prefer! I’m tagging anyone who left a note on the previous chapter here as well, hope that’s OK!

Loki woke with a jolt, his heart pounding, nightmares of a frozen world and evil red eyes lingering in the fringes of his mind. He lifted trembling hands to cover his face, and nearly screamed.

He stumbled out of bed, his heart thumping, trying to get away from the vicious black claws, the blue skin that had haunted his nightmares since his childhood. He scratched at his arm, tore at the pale lines raised in the skin, whimpering and panicking, the quiet, calm voice inside now drowned out by the storm, and he couldn’t find himself, couldn’t dig himself out from under this hellish mask, this curse, this…

“Hey! Hey, Loki, please, calm, will you? Hey, look at me? I’m not going to touch you, alright? I just want you to look at the lights, can you do that? Can you breathe in with the light as it gets brighter? That’s great, keep going… OK, and now out. Like you’re whistling, purse your lips, yeah, just like that. Now in, feel it… feel it filling you up or… yeah, this is good. That’s great, buddy. OK, I’m just gonna… can I see your arms?”

Stark came closer, still holding his hands out in front of him and looking as unthreatening as possible. Logically Loki could see that he was veryunthreatening, a small mortal in soft clothing, hair still sleep-mussed and face pillow-creased, but with his heart still hammering inside his own chest, he couldn’t handle logic at all. He tugged his arms closer to himself, fingers slick with his own blood.

Then he looked down. The blood was indigo. He whimpered and pushed his arms out as far from himself as he could, staggering backwards, his breathing speeding up again.

“Hey, hey, it’s OK! I’ll get them fixed up, no worries.” Stark cupped his hands around Loki’s wrists, making a surprised hum. “Wow, you’re cold.”

Loki let out a burst of hysterical laughter that very nearly turned into a sob. How utterly pathetic. To have been reduced to a scared child, cowering in someone else’s room, terrified of his own appearance after a nightmare… Loki turned his face and closed his eyes. It was almost unbearable.

Stark tugged him gently over to the bed, encouraging him to sit. He left him there, staring down helplessly, hatefully, at his blue, bleeding arms. “Here we go,” Stark said a moment later, setting a bowl of water down by Loki’s feet. He took Loki’s wrist in his hand and started dabbing the blood away, staining the water an inky blue. Loki stared at the colour diffusing through the water and tried not to despair.

“There we go,” Stark said with a grin. Loki looked at his forearms, wrapped in pristine white bandages. He felt emptied out, like his heart had been excavated from his chest, leaving him dull and hollow. Stark’s smile slowly slipped from his face and he bit his lip. “Ah, do you… do you want to talk a bit?”

Loki blinked at him.

“Like, uh… do you maybe want to… were you trying to, um. Were you trying to hurt yourself? Is this, like, a self-harm thing? Because I won’t judge, I just…” He scruffed his hair. “Yeah, I’m not very good at this shit. Are you… OK?” He winced and looked at Loki sideways, almost as if he thought Loki would strike him for his question.

“No, Stark,” said Loki, his voice sounding very distant. “I am not OK.”

“Yeah, I kinda… got that.” Stark sat on his haunches and rubbed his face. “You know what? We need a load of breakfast. I’m thinking pastries and donuts, something that won’t go cold or soggy, and then I think you should tell me all about it. I mean, I can’t promise I’ll be any help.” He winced again. “Honestly, I’ll probably be shit. Like, worse than nothing. I’m not… the best listener. Or the best friend. But…” he shrugged and looked away like he didn’t care at all. “Yeah, croissants! JARVIS, could you order us, eh, I dunno, one of everything from Belle Maison?”

“Of course, Sir,” JARVIS replied.

Loki looked up in the direction of the voice. He had been introduced to JARVIS the night before, but this morning, after a night of somewhat effective sleep, he could cling to the fascination sparking in his chest, distract himself. “Is your companion made of magic?” he asked.

“What, JARV? Nah - or, well, he’s an AI - artificial intelligence. He’s made out of computer code and electronics and… stuff.”

“I blush, Sir,” said JARVIS dryly.

Stark just smirked. “I’ll show you the bots in a minute, it might make a bit more sense then. Assuming you’re still up for a bit of research in a while?”

Loki felt the cold flood through his system once more, ridiculous for a Frost Giant. He had forgotten during Stark’s treatment of him this morning that he was little more than a prisoner here. He was Stark’s research project, and nothing more - this had not been kindness, but a care for one’s tools. Loki summoned up a professional mask and nodded.

Stark blinked, his own smile faltering. “OK… OK, if you’re sure? Anyway. For now, do you want a coffee or something? I need coffee, I’m not human without the first one of the morning.”

Loki narrowed his eyes at him. “Hyperbole?” he asked.

Stark winked at him. “Only just. C’mon, Billy Goat Gruff, let me hook you up with the good stuff.”

Loki had hoped that the distraction of breakfast and coffee would make Stark forget his demand that they talk, but once they’d eaten a couple of the sweet treats, he tapped his fingernails on the polished stone of the high table he called a breakfast bar. “So, Loki-Doki, you wanna tell me your story? How did you end up in a crater on another planet causing snow in the desert?”

Loki closed his eyes for just a moment, put his pastry down on the plate and clenched his hands into fists under the table. “As you wish,” he said, his voice strained.

Stark frowned. “Hey, no, it’s fine if you don’t wanna tell me, you know? I just… thought it might…” He scrubbed his hair again. “I dunno, help? People are always asking me if I want to talk, I just thought it was the done thing, or something. You don’t have to.”

“No, I am yours to command.”

Stark made a face. “Not really, though.” His eyes suddenly widened. “Holy shit. Holy… did I say something? Was there a culture clash here? Have I like… I didn’t sign you up to be my indentured servant or some bullshit, did I?”

Loki peered up at him, surprised at himself that his head had ducked so low, that his shoulders were so hunched over. “You said you would give me sanctuary in exchange for experiments…”

“I did?”

“You did imply something along those lines, Sir,” JARVIS interjected.

Stark pressed his hands to his cheeks. “What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me, JARV?”

“I didn’t realise that Master Loki would take the combination of words in such a literal way. My apologies, Sir. And to Master Loki.”

Loki frowned. “You did not… but why would you take me in if not to-”

“I mean, sure, I wanted to study you,” Stark wailed. “But only if you wanted to find stuff out too, or like, show off… I don’t want you to be here against your will, holy shit, have I kidnapped you? Oh my god, I’m so sorry, shit!”

Loki blinked, shocked. Stark was apologising? To him? And in such distress! But Loki was nothing to him, here he was not even a prince, why would Stark care about whether or not Loki would choose to be with him? “I don’t… you do not have to…”

“I mean, I thought we were just gonna do some cool science together, I had no idea I was dragging you here like some sort of a threat, am I SHIELD in this situation? Oh my god, I’m basically Agent, guh, I’m gonna be sick, JARVIS!” He turned to Loki with wild eyes. “I am really, really sorry.”

Loki stared at him. There was a warmth in his chest, a spreading feeling he barely recognised. When was the last time someone had apologised to him? Someone of consequence, not a servant or a subject - and even then, they would always do so with gritted teeth. Loki knew he was unpopular. He’d never attempted to change that - it had always seemed so immutable a fact. Loki the trickster, don’t trust him, don’t listen, don’t spend any time near him in case he turns you into a goat.

“I would… I would like to stay,” he said, and he tried to hide a wince at how vulnerable his voice sounded. “I am interested in your science. In our differences.”

“Really?” Stark said, freezing in his distressed motions. “Are you sure, though? You’re not just saying that because I’ve, like, activated some hospitality clause I didn’t know about? You’re choosing to--”

“I am choosing, freely,” he said, swallowing and looking up at Stark. “If I am welcome, still?”

Stark’s face broke into a wide grin. “Hell, yeah, you’re welcome!” He let out a long breath. “Phew, god, that was awful!”

Loki’s lip quirked up. “Why was it so awful?”

“Well, I don’t know what life’s like on your planet or whatever, but we humans don’t like coercing other people.” He made a face. “Well, the non-assholes don’t. Yeah, actually, scrap that? I don’t like coercing people. I can’t talk for the rest of them.”

Loki grinned. “Your realm is not so different from mine, in that case. It sounds as if there are plenty of assholes in both.”

“I mean, honestly, I probably count as one of the assholes most of the time.” Tony shrugged. “Hey, do you want to go down to the lab now? I can show you the bots, and we can find out what your alien biology looks like on my holos.”

And just like that, Loki was reminded what he was, his freakish blue skin, the horns, the demonic red of his eyes. He held himself still, trying not to wince, trying not to react, for how could he explain this? He would just have to control his expressions, focus on the science. Because perhaps there would be something in Stark’s ‘lab’ which would help him to find his way back to his old - no, his true form.

But Stark stopped mid-sentence. “No? What? What is it? We won’t do anything you don’t want to,” he said, biting his bottom lip again.

Had he always been this obvious? No-one in Asgard would ever have noticed, but Stark had spotted his reticence at once - and Loki had been actively trying to hide it. Had his masks ever been as strong as he had believed? Or had nobody ever been truly looking? Loki stared at Stark, amazed at the perceptiveness of this small, sparkling mortal. “It’s…”

“I’m serious, Loki, we won’t do anything you don’t want to, OK?” Stark said, holding his gaze. “If there’s anything you don’t like, we’ll stop, no matter how far through the process we are, if there’s anything you don’t even like the look of, we won’t do it. And of course, I’ll put myself through everything you do - like, except for actually doing magic, ‘cause I can’t. Oh, and I can’t go into an MRI because of this,” he added, tapping the centre of his chest over the odd glow. “But you don’t have to do that either.”

Loki searched his face for any hint of a trick, any lie, and found only compassion. He swallowed hard. “I do not look like this,” he said, his voice nothing more than a croak. “I mean… not usually.” He looked down at his hands, clenching them into fists and feeling the sharp, obsidian nails digging into his skin. “I was Aesir - I am Aesir. I must be. But… during my brother’s coronation, I just… this happened. I turned into this… this monster, and now… now my magic is different, cold…” he took a deep, shuddering breath, the fear sending icy tendrils through every nerve. He looked at the table and gasped. Frost swirled out from every contact point with his skin, and he jerked his hands back in horror.

“Hey, hey, it’s OK,” Stark said, holding his hands out, placating the beast once more. “It’s OK.” He took a deep breath. “Hey, I know we said we didn’t have to talk, but do you want to tell me about it? And then… maybe we can get you back to normal?”

Tags from last chapter: @aformingsiren, @sketch953, @massivelandthingdonkey, @angrysockpuppetnoises, @ultra-rare-pegacorn, @redramzi, @senpaiweird, @giggling-breeze, @rarepair-collector, @saturnjuice, @kuree06 <3

[tozierpunks]

REDDIE 21 ?

21. Best Friends’ Sibling

A/N: Featuring Kevin Abstract as Mike, Lucas Almeida as Eddie, and Keiynan Lonsdale as Richie!

“How could you not tell me you had a brother?!”

“I dunno, I forgot, I guess-”

“You forgot?!”

“Eds,” Mike said, clearly tired of the conversation already. Huffing, Eddie crossed his arms.

“Please don’t call me that. It’s Eddie,” he corrected.

Mike clicked his tongue, looking as though he wanted to say something before thinking better of it. Instead he held up his hands and said, “My bad.” Securing his satchel, he glanced at the clock on the wall. “Do you still wanna go? He’s honestly not like… bad. I just don’t see him often. Different mom and all, you know.”

Biting the inside of his cheek, Eddie felt a pang of guilt. His immediate reaction upon learning his best friend since first grade - the same friend who pissed his pants in solidarity when Eddie had an accident on the class trip, the very same friend who gave him his first Reese’s peanut butter cup because Sonia was too scared Eddie might be allergic - had a half-brother, was regrettably not to ask how Mike felt about the situation, but rather question why he hadn’t told Eddie.

“Hey, my bad too… It isn’t my business, if it’s too personal,” he said. Mike waved him off, snickering.

“What? Nah, it’s fine, I’m not like… mad about it or anything,” he insisted, walking out with Eddie. “My mom and dad had a huge fight before I was born and he left for a while. Hooked up with a lady in Boston, thought it was a one night thing. Weeeeeeell.” Mike glanced at Eddie, making an expression which clearly said: yikes.

“And your parents are still together now?” Eddie asked, amazed to know there was ever drama between Will and Jessica Hanlon. Mike nodded proudly.

“It’d take an act of God to tear those two apart,” he said. Eddie smiled; he liked Mike’s parents. They were always laughing together, and a lot of the time, Eddie and Mike would walk in to find them dancing while making dinner. He’d never seen two people more in love. Honestly? He envied them. Love seemed like some far away concept he could never fully touch.

Shaking his head, Eddie followed Mike out of the school. On their bikes, they played a lazy game of tag, weaving around each other as they made their way to the arcade. School officially let out for the summer, and they had plans to spend it the way they spent most of their summers: hanging out. While there wasn’t much to do in Derry, it only took a little imagination and some good friends to have a great time.

“Mike!” a voice called out. Eddie looked up from his bike, dropping the lock when he saw the boy walking over. He wore a Hawaiian shirt with a tye-dye tank top underneath, and navy blue basketball shorts. He also wore socks with his sandals, but Eddie skimmed over that choice, to study the handsome face before him. His smile was radiant, and the crinkle around his eyes made Eddie’s heart skip a beat.

“Rich, my fuckin’ guy!” Mike shouted. The two hugged, and Mike pulled away to motion towards Eddie. “Richie, this is Eddie. Eddie, this is Richie.”

“Eds, what’s up? I’ve heard a lot about you!” Richie greeted. The corner of Eddie’s mouth twitched, and he shot a glance to Mike. No wonder he’d been calling him Eds lately! He was talking to his brother about him using that stupid nickname. Of course… it didn’t sound half bad coming from Richie.

“It’s Eddie, but hi, yeah- unfortunately I can’t say the same! Mike only just decided to tell me about you today!” he said. Mike rolled his eyes, but Richie gasped in mock offense.

“Really now? You know, I’m not surprised, cause he didn’t tell me you were a snack,” Richie stated. Eddie’s eyes widened, his face burning. Mike groaned, pushing Richie out of the way.

“Don’t start with that, man!” he exclaimed, laughing as he led them into the arcade. Eddie was too stunned to move for a moment, following a second too late and almost running to keep up. Although he was certain Richie was just playing around, he swore he saw Richie wink at him as they got their quarters for the games.

As per tradition, the first night of summer vacation was spent at Mike’s. Eddie detailed his day to Sonia, showing her his straight A report card, and reminding her he’d finished his chores the night before. She had no choice but to let him go with his best friend, as if this weren’t the drill every single year for the last nine. This year was going to be a little different though.

Firstly, Mike would be learning how to drive. Once he got his license, there wouldn’t be any stopping them (unless, of course, both Will and Jessica took their cars out, in which case they would be stuck with their trusty bikes).

Secondly, Richie was spending the summer with them. His parents still lived in Boston; he had a good relationship with both his mom and step-dad, but he was very clearly a black child with two white parents. He wanted to know his biological father, and while he’d had visits in the past, they were few and far between. Enough for him to have a relationship with Mike, Will, and Jessica, but not enough for Eddie to know. Apparently.

However bitter he was about the secret, he couldn’t stay mad. Not at his best friend, and not when the secret was so cute.

The den was lit only by the light of the TV. Mike knocked out on the floor, the popcorn bowl just a foot from his head. Eddie checked his phone for the time.

12:04 AM.

Mike could never stay up late, so it didn’t surprise him. What did surprise him was how Richie had gone upstairs five minutes ago to get them sodas, and still had yet to return.

Well I’m parched, he thought, his mouth twisting as he got out from under his blanket. Going upstairs, he made a beeline for the kitchen, relieved to get his hands on a water bottle. Taking a few sips, he gasped when Richie jumped out from behind the wall.

Although he was annoyed, the first words to tumble out of his mouth were, “Stooop, I could’ve dropped my croissant!” Richie giggled, closing the distance between them. He backed Eddie against the fridge, resting his arm over Eddie’s head.

“You’re cute,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss him. Eddie’s eyes were wide for a moment before shutting, and he lifted his hand to touch Richie’s face. Of course, it seemed as soon as he was kissing back, Richie pulled away. “I don’t think Mikey would like this too much; I just had to try that once.” Winking, he dabbed his fingertip against Eddie’s lips, leaving for the den.

Eddie stood in silence, his hand slowly coming up to his mouth. His heart was slamming around in his rib cage and he didn’t know how to make it stop. Was he supposed to go back to the den and sit quietly with Richie after that? Better yet, was he supposed to spend his entire summer pretending he didn’t wanna kiss Richie again?

Lord help me, he thought, shotgunning the rest of his water before finally making his way back downstairs.

[marinette-buginette]

Slow realisation

A commission for @cheklmn . Sory for the long wait, hope you will enjoy it!

Adrien tapped his foot, more out of boredom than or out of impatience. He really didn’t understand what all this was about.

It all started with Nino almost jumping on him in the Lycée’s library. Adrie was minding his own business, working on some of his Mandarin homework when Nino came screaming. Well, not really screaming cause it was, you know, a library but he was pretty close. Adrien was almost knocked off his chair as Nino grabbed his shoulders and shook them wildly while whispering some unintelligible nonsense.

Adrien fell on the floor as if he was a rug puppet when Nino let go of his shoulders. Rubbing his lower back Adrien got up and raised an eyebrow, silently questioning his best friend’s weird behavior.

“What had gotten into you.” Adrien whispered. He wasn’t angry, but he didn’t appreciate the bruise he will get.

“I am the best friend in the world.” Nino stated proudly.

“I already know that.” for his part, Adrien wasn’t impressed. The fact that Nino was an amazing friend was no news.

“No, no, trust me, I am. And you are gonna scream it after I tell you the news. No, not scream it. You are going to tattoo it on your forehead. I can already see it…”

“Nino.”

“Oh, when we are going to the tattoo artist I want to come with you and pick the font for the tattoo and…”

“Nino!” Adrien tried to keep his voice low, but it rang a little bit louder than he intended. Luckily no one was around right now to scold him.

His friend seemed to finally snap out of his fantasy of Adrien getting the words ‘Nino is an amazing friend’ tattoed on his forehead. He cleared his throat and looked at Adrien with an excited smile. “Are you ready to hear it?

“Yes, come on. Tell me already.” Adrien leaned in, curiously. When he was preparing surprises, no one could beat Nino to it. Okay, except that one time when he was akuamtized, but Adrien wasn’t going to mention that.

“I got you a date with Ladybug.”

“You did WHAT?!”

Now if they would have been in a cartoon, Adrien was sure this would be the moment when the scene will cut to birds all around flying away because he scared them with his scream. But because it was only the real life which, sadly, had no cartoon-like emphasis scenes, the only thing Adrien managed to do with his scream was made an angry librarian come their way and scold them and tell them to take their conversation out.

Or he assumes so, he might have fainted after his brain finally processed the fact that Nino had somehow managed to get him a date with Ladybug.

Unknown to Adrien, Nino glanced down at him then gave the librarian an awkward smile.

“It is okay, madame.” he grabbed his fainted friend off the floor and started dragging him outside. “We are taking this outside, sorry for the disturbance.”

The next thing Adrien remembered was being splashed by water and waking up screaming.

So, in short, this is how Adrien found himself at Ciel de Paris, the whole upper floor booked especially for this date. Having connections in high places certainly paid off sometimes. His eyes wandered to the windows, taking in the sigh of Paris at night. For a second he wondered if Ladybug will come through the front door or through the window. If he would have a date with Ladybug while in the suit, he would certainly come through the window while doing a quadruple spin, double flip while holding a bouquet of roses in between his teeth.

Making an impression, you know?

But Ladybug was always a little bit more formal so he assumed she will just come through the door. Make it seem more serious. He wasn’t even sure why she agreed to this. Maybe Nino and Alya were pulling a prank on him.

“Monsieur Agreste, your date is here.” the voice of the waiter almost made Adrien jump out of his skin.

He turned around quickly. “ Hello, Lady… buuuuug.”

He wasn’t drooling.

Now, the thing about the suits they were wearing when they were superheroes was that… well, you couldn’t exactly change out of them. Apparently, he has been lied to by that stinking cat god he keeps feeding. Ladybug still wore a suit, but it seemed to imitate a formal red dress, with elbow length black gloves

Okay, maybe he was drooling. Just a little. A lot. Was that a puddle on the floor?

Ladybug smiled sweetly at him in a way that seemed almost familiar. Hm… it was probably because he was seeing her every other day as Chat.

“Hi, Adrien.”

“Hey,” Adrien said blushing. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Ladybug looked surprised for a second so Adrien did the only thing he could think of. He gave her finger guns.

She seemed amused. “Oh, and I thought we have a date.”

“We do. Yeah. Nino, my DJ overlord and future Cannes winner who the world doesn’t deserve, arranged it for us.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, he insisted I add that whenever I mention his name. So uh, shall we take a sea?”

Ladybug nodded and Adrien led her to one of the tables by the window.

“You are a true gentleman, aren’t you?” Ladybug asked when he pulled out her chair.

“I do hope so.” he smiled as he took his seat.

Adrien noticed Ladybug was gazing in the distance to the skyline. “They say it is the best place for looking over Paris, but I bet it doesn’t compare to what you see when you swing around.

She simply hummed, a soft smile spreading over her lips. “Wouldn’t say so. This restaurant has quite a nice spot.”

“Yeah, all view can eat.”

Ladybug glanced at him in surprise. Then she burst into a fit of giggles. Adrien almost fell out of his chair. Finally. She finally laughed at one of his puns. While they were on a date. Today was a beautiful day. Life was worth living.

“So shall we order?”

“So are you in the mood for a snack?”

Adrien jumped up, with a shriek, the cucumbers from his face mask falling in the process. When he collected himself, he was shocked to say at least to see Ladybug hanging on her yoyo, looking at him baffled while holding a bag of something that smelled quite good.

Adrien laughed nervously. “Hi. Ladybug. I was just doing my afternoon beauty routine, but sure, you can come in.”

She swung in, putting her yoyo back at her waist and placing the package on the table. Adrien sweets senses were tingling and his cat nose was telling him whatever she brought smelled heavenly.

“Oh, are you buying usually at Tom and Sabine’s boulangerie?” he questioned once he saw the logo on the bag.

It seemed that might have set something off in Ladybug’s head as she began to fidget. “Oh, no, no, haha, see I just stumbled upon it and uh… it had great reviews! So I thought yeah, I will just drop and buy some stuff and bring it to Adrien given I am dropping uninvited in his house, you know. Heh.”

Adrien blinked in surprise. Huh, the fidgeting was really adorable. And it reminded him of Marinette. Oh, speaking of…

“My friend’s parents actually own that place. I can guarantee for their tastiness.”

Ladybug smiled. “I will take your word for it. Sorry for ruining your facemask by the way.”

Adrien simply shrugged. "Don't worry too much about it. My skin routine can survive until evening when I'm supposed to do the next one. Also, if you need any face products don't hesitate to ask I have a whole collection. And this one ocean salt scrub works wonders." Adrien stopped himself abruptly, just realizing what he was implying. "Not that your skin doesn't look amazing or anything, I, in no way, even dare to suggest that and... mph."

Adrien crossed his eyes, noticing the macaron Ladybug shoved in his mouth has a pink shade. Hm, strawberries. Really good.

Ladybug giggled. "So, I see you have a  Dance Dance Revolution Machine here." he eyed his arcade corner. "Wanna bet I will break your record in the first try?"

"Oh, it is on!"

For the last couple of weeks Adrien and Ladybug had a constant game of "which game can I get my ass kicked at today?". Well, so far he got his ass kicked at pretty much every game they played from Dance Dance Revolution to Super Mario. Of course, he also won a couple of times on his fifth or so try. Maybe Ladybug was just letting him win out of pity, but he preferred to think she didn't. Or maybe yes. It would mean she liked him enough to do so.

He has been pulled out of his train of thought by a loud crash noise.

'Ladybug wins' was sprawled in big red letters across the screen. Oh well, what else was new.

"I would say I am sorry I beat you again, but I am really not," she said with a wink.

Alright, Adrien, don't spontaneously combust now, it is okay, it is just a wink. She winks at you a lot when you are Chat. Trying to distract himself Adrien grabbed a croissant from the table and started chewing on it. Ladybug got up and jumped on his windowsill. "Sorry I have to cut this short but  need to go back home before my parents realise I sneaked out."

Adrien lifted his pastry in the way someone might lift a toast. "I hope our paths will croissant again."

He realised he fucked up in the moment when Ladybug fell from the windowsill.

“You didn’t say much since we got here.” Ladybug broke the silence that fell between them. “If you didn’t like heights… “

‘No, it is not that.” he replied quickly. “I was just taking in the sights.”

It wasn’t a lie. He always enjoyed the view of Paris from above, it was always breathtaking, no matter how used you get to it. But he imagined Ladybug got him to the absolute top of the Eiffel Tower tonight to show him a sight she imagined he had never seen.

“It is a favourite spot of mine, you know.” Ladybug’s features softened as she glanced into the distance. “Beautiful sight, isn’t it?”

Adrien looked at Ladybug, the way her hair and ribbons were fluttering in the wind, the way the lights were reflecting on her features and her sweet, content smile. He took a sharp intake of breath.

“Yeah, gorgeous.”

“So I guess you enjoy this little date, right?” she returned her attention to him.

“I am especially enjoying that you decided to share this wonderful spot with someone like meow.”

Adrien covered his mouth one second too late. Ladybug froze for a moment before looking at him with realization.

“Oh!” her gasp as so low he barely heard it. “Chat?”

He lowered his hand, and held her gaze as his lips curled into a small smile.

“Hey, Marinette.”

[armytae18]

The Past and The Present

Possible love triangle series: rating- mature

Word count: 2314

Chapter7

------

Jungkook's POV:

I woke up next to Taehyung who was still sleeping, I ruffled my messy red locks. I smiled looking down as his sleepy face, he reminded me of a cute like puppy but sadly I didn't always love him. When I was younger I didn't think I'd ever find my mate at all and that scared me. I ended up falling in love with Jimin. I didn't know if it was because he was the future leader of the group or if it was because he was just hella sexy.

~ Flashback~

I watched from the gardens as Jimin walked by his father's side as he showed him around the castle and the multiple responsibilities he would have later once he grew up. Jimin glanced over to where I was standing with his piercing hazel eyes. I felt so nervous that my stomach was filling with butterflies. Not knowing what to do I waved at him but he didn't wave back he just smirked and continued walking with his dad.

'Did he just smirk at me?' I thought blushing so I walked back to my room with that question on my mind. I laid in bed checking my phone to see if anything interesting was happening. 'I doubt Jimin would like me. He doesn't seem to be gay, I found out when I was 14, I went on a date with a girl and she tried kissing my cheek and I felt grossed out. I just left her there, now I regret doing that too her. I turned my phone off and went to bed.

~A 6 months later~

My dad told me I had to go to this thing for young vampires like me. It was a coming of age type party. "Do I have to go dad?" I asked, I didn't want to go because I knew I didn't get along with any of the other vampires. "Yes son you have too. You're my only son and you're at the age where you find your mate. This is the best event to kickstart the search." He informed me as he fixed my tie. I signed upset and looked at myself in the mirror. I was in a black tux with a red tie, my black hair was slicked up.

-skip to the event-

It's been 2 hours at this party and I was getting bored of it all. I had so many girls try to flirt with me and get in my pants. I rolled my eyes going to the bar to get something to drink. "Do you have anything other than alcohol?" I asked the bartender and he shook his head. "I guess I'll just take a jack and Coke but not a lot of Jack please." I said as he whips up my drink. I hear shoes clicked behind me and I turn around to see Jimin. "Hey Jeon." He said with a straight face. "O-Oh hey Jimin." I said stuttering so I cleared my throat. Hey smirked then ordered a drink as well, a stronger drink than what I was having.

After a few drink I noticed I'm a light weight compare to Jimin, crap. On my 4th drink I started smelling the sweetest of bloods and I knew then that meant my mate was close by. Was it Jimin? Was he actually gay? I looked towards him but I noticed it couldn't be his blood.

"H-hey is anyone sitting here?" A small and nervous voice asked I turned around and that's when it hit me. He was my mate. A small petite man with light brown hair and big doe like eyes and very pink, big lips. I knew I was too long because his figure starting shifting in place. "Y-Yes, sorry you can sit." He sheepishly smiles and sits down by this time I realized Jimin was gone. "I didn't introduce myself, I'm Kim Taehyung." He said cheerfully. "My name is Jeon Jungkook." I responded taking a sip of my drink. "So I guess you can feel the pull?" He asked, I noticed his hands rolled into fists resting on his thighs and he nervously moved them back and forth.

"Yeah I do. I never thought I'd find my mate." I chuckled and he looked towards me nodding in agreement. "Me too." He confesses his blush reaching the tips of his ears. "Why don't we blow this boring party." I suggested. "But where would we go?" He asked shocked. "I have a place in mind." I smiled holding my hand out, he smiled back at me and grabbed my hand. I led him to my car and drove towards a waterfall. "This is where I go when I need space or clear my mind." "It's beautiful." He smiles going towards the edge to look how far it goes. I reach out and grab his hand pulling him into my chest. "Please be careful I don't want you to die." I state and he looked up at me blushing. He's beautiful brown eyes shimmering under the stars, I couldn't resist but lean over and kiss him. He responded and kissed me back wrapping his arms around my neck.

~End of flashback~

And that's how it all went down, I think about 2 months into our relationship I still had a think for Jimin but it slowly faded the more I started being with Taehyung, my beautiful doe eyed mate.

Nala's POV

After Hoseok and (y/n) graduated I started getting bullied a lot. This was the harsh reality I had to live but I meet Brittany who transfered all the way from England. She saved me from the bullies then they tried to bully her as well but they quickly realized Britt is not a bitch to be fucking with, she knew every kind of self defense moves out there and she was also a black belt.

I sat on the toliet seat hiding from my bullies. Today Britt was out sick and of course it's a Monday and the bitches that tortured me found out and they ganged up on me. Currently I had blood all over my face, a bruise was started to show on my check and arms. Silent tears rolled down my face mixing with the blood. "Brittany." I quietly cried but I shouldn't call her she's sick.

I decided to go home and skip the rest of school today, I couldn't deal with the pain and I didn't want anyone else to see me like this. I walked home on the long strip of road that lead to my neighborhood not too far from this hell hole called school. "Hey, do you need a ride?" I ignored the voice thinking it was one of those weird men wanting to have sex with young girls. "Nala, are you okay?" I recognized the voice immediately this time. "Mrs. Tran." I turned around seeing her in the passenger seat and her husband in the driver's seat. "What happened to your face?" She asked in shock getting out of the car. I felt tears pricking my eyes again as I hug her tightly and she began petting my head softly. "Come let's get her home and treated." Mr. Tran said opening the back door and letting me in as they both got into the car and drove to their house which was right across the street from my house. My mom wasn't home so they had to treat my wounds at their place.

"Would you like to explain to me what happened to your face?" Mrs. Tran asked as she gently cleaned my cut on my cheered. "Promise not to tell my mom?" She nods and I explained everything to her. "Awe sweetie I'm sorry you have to go through that." She said hugging me. "Well are you hungry I can make you something to eat." Mrs. Tran offered getting up. "That would be nice but I don't want to bother you anymore than I am not." I nervously rubbed my arm. "It's no trouble." She smiled warmly going into the kitchen to whip something up.

I waited patiently for my food and it was not long before she came back with a try filled with a croissant looking pastry. "It's a mini Apple pie. It may look like just a dessert but it fills you up surprisingly." She said reassuringly. "Thanks Mrs. Tran." I picked one up and took a bite, the crunchy but delicious taste of the Apple and the sweetness of the cinnamon. "Woah these are delicious." I ate two more. "Thank you. Im glad you like them." She grabbed one and ate it too.

We sat in comfortable silence when we heard a knock on the door. "I'll get it." Mr. Tran said as he opened the door grabbing the round handle. The door revealed my mother with a worried look. "Mom? How did you know I was here?" I asked standing up. "Ms. Foster said she saw you walking on the road with blood on your face." She explained hugging me. "Thank you Mr. And Mrs. Tran for taking care of her." My mother bowed in respect and we head out the door. I waved goodbye as my mom got into the car with me in the passenger seat.

A few days later I went back to school and went to my first period class and sat down at my desk when the rest of the class trickled in then the bell rang. "Hello class we have a new student to our school, please welcome Lee Taemin." The teacher introduced as a tall guy walks in. I've never seen someone so handsome, all the girls were drooling over him. He was a few inches short of 6 feet, with beautiful brown eyes and red streaks in his black hair. He was wearing his uniform tie loosely and looking like one of those bad boys mom and dad tells you to stay away from. I was so zoned out thinking about his looks that I realized what the teacher said. "There's an open seat next to (y/n)." He bows to the class and then walks towards me with long strides. "Hey sexy." Taemin smirks at me causing me to blush and cover my face with my bangs.

Around lunch time I sat alone at a small table eating my food quietly. Then I felt a sudden splash of water, my hair was drenched and water dripped from my face. I looked up and see the evil bitch who's been torturing me. "Really Ashley?!" I yelled. "What? I slipped, plus what are you going to do about it?" She asked smirking at me, I turned around and went back to eating. "I thought so." She snickered high fiving the other two girls with her. "Hey I suggest you leave her alone." A familiar voice said causing me to look towards the source. Lee Taemin. "Heyyy Taemin~" Ashley purred getting closer to him. "Get away from me skank." He almost growled at her causing her to get scared and step back. "Why are you standing up for her?!" She yelled pointing at my wet figure. "Because I don't find bullies attractive." He rolled his eyes as he said. "How dare you accuse me of that!" She was getting frustrated. "Get out of my sight." He demanded causing her and her posey to leave. "Hey you okay." He asked handing me a small hand towel. I nod my head. "Thank you, Lee Taemin." "Drop the formalities just call me Taemin." He said sitting next to me. "Arent you going to eat?" I noticed he did have food. "I already ate." He said staring at me.

From that day fort I had two protectors, Brittany and Lee Taemin.

------

Blackpink's story

"BLACKPINK!

Ah yeah, ay yeah!

BLACKPINK!

Ah yeah, ay yeah!"

On stage the girls perform their new single Ddu-du Ddu-du for their fans but things weren't always this great, they went through a big struggle to become idols.

-flashback-

"Hey Jennie we need to practice now." Rosé said the other two girls stretching and getting ready. "But I'm so tired just 10 minutes?" She asked. "No get up." Then Jisoo walks over. "Come on please Jennie, if we don't we'll never get the chance to debut." Jisoo whines trying aegyo on her. "But haven't we already debuted Unni? We have a buyable CD on iTunes." Jennie grumbles folding her arms together. "Jenny if you don't want to put in the work then you should leave." Lisa said angry. "Fine." Jennie got up and started stretching and they practice their dance for their upcoming new album square up.

-end flashback-

Every day they had our ups and downs, they shared tears, laughter, happiness and sadness but they made it together as a family.

At the end of the concert they all hugged in a circle as a silent tears rolled down their cheeks. They turned to the crowd and bowed, waving at the fans. "Thank you everyone so much for your support without you guys none of this would be possible." The crowd erupted into a loud scream as Lisa spoke. Finally they quiet down when suddenly they heard. "I LOVE YOU!" From a particularly loud fan causing them to smile and send finger hearts to everyone. "We love you too." Jennie smiled realizing how important it is for her to work in this group.

It was around this time that everything was aligned with each other. Jungkook's secret crush on Jimin, Nala being bullied then rescued by Taemin who she doesn't yet is a vampire, Jungkook finding the love of his life and finally Blackpink's struggle and success.

(This chapter again has nothing to do with the 3 main characters but it's a little back story on the supporting cast)

Chapter1 Chapter2 Chapter3 Chapter4 Chapter5 Chapter6 Chapter8 Chapter9

[wings-of-life]

Chapter 30 - Reveal

It was still early when I woke up, Sans fast asleep beside me. I didn’t feel like getting up, but Molly needed to get her morning walk. With a sigh, I quietly got out of bed and slipped on a shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Postponing my shower in favour of letting Sans sleep a little longer. As well as to postpone having to talk about last night.

Molly opened her eyes as I entered the living room, but didn’t get up just yet. Walking into the kitchen I started up the coffee maker and placed two cups as well as the breakfast options I had on the counter. Just in case Sans would wake up before I would get back. Molly sat just outside of the kitchen area with her lease in her mouth, her tail wagging back and forward as the first drips of coffee hit the coffee pot.

It was a watery cold morning. Dark clouds blocking most of the sun giving everything a grey filter. It wouldn’t be long before the storm that had been predicted would break loose. Yet I decided to extend Molly’s morning walk and go by Muffet’s bakery. She was far from cheap but there was no denying that her baked goods were the best in town. That is if you could get past the mental hurdle of eating food that was made by and with spiders. That last part was still weird to me, but I never dared ask about it. The spider-muffin-pet-thing that wandered around the shop freaked me out too much to linger and ask such trivial questions.

The downpour started before we could get back to the flat, making us run the last few blocks. Molly loved running and didn’t seem to mind the rain, her tongue hanging happily from her smiling mouth. When we finally did arrive at the flat she just shook the water from her coat, soaking me further, still smiling. Unable to actually get mad at her I just sighed and I wiped the water of my shades on the dry part of my shirt. Glad that I hadn’t bothered taking a shower yet.

Sans was sitting at the dining table a cup of coffee before him and a bottle of ketchup in his hand. He took a swig as we came in. I recognised the bottle as the one I had in my fridge, feeling a little dumb for not having put it on the counter as well. His eye lights flickered to me as I walked over to the counter and added the fresh bread and croissants to the breakfast options. Pouring myself a cup of coffee I could see the light of his eyes in the reflection of the coffee pot as the lingered on my hips. Making me aware of how my now soaked sweatpants left little to the imagination. I turned around, using my cup to warm my hands, and leaned against the counter. His eyes shot up to mine. The silence stretched on, both of us unwilling to break it.

Ultimately it was a small whine that did. Molly was sitting by her empty food bowl looking up at me. I had been too preoccupied with Sans’s presence to remember to give her breakfast. Putting my cup back down on the counter I moved to the cupboard with the dog food and gave her a bit extra as well as a quick scratch behind her ears.

“Sans, if you don’t say what you are going to say within the next minute I’m going to take a shower.”

I didn’t look at him as I said that. The tension that the silence had brought made me unwilling to do so. I picked my cup of coffee back up as I started the mental countdown. His eyes were on the cup before him. The minute came and went and he still hadn’t said a word, which surprised me. Downing my coffee in one go, I savoured the warm spot it created in my belly. He had had his chance. I could feel his eyes follow me as I walked into the bedroom. Yet, the silence stretched on.

I was hyper-aware of his presence in my living room as I showered. My mind kept returning to last night. It had been a very interesting experience. His skilful teasing had made it clear that I hadn’t been the first human he had spent the night with. It was a little too easy to remember what it felt like, having his hands roam my body. With a groan, I rubbed my forehead, a little bothered that my mind was so eager on remembering. Shaking my head, I grabbed the bottle of shampoo. It had just been too long.

I don’t know what had prompted him to suddenly start moving, but I could feel his soul approaching. The heavy rain hitting the windows masking the sound of his light footsteps on the laminate floor. I didn’t wear anything more than a thong and a towel turban. Yet, I didn’t move to cover up. After all, it wasn’t like there was anything he hadn’t already seen. As he came to a stop in the open doorway I looked over my shoulder and raised my brows at him. He didn’t seem to notice I was pretty much naked. His eye lights didn’t wander. Instead, there was a clinical look on his face as he looked at my back.

“those aren’t tattoos.”

It wasn’t a question. I didn’t respond. Waiting for him to continue to talk now that he had finally decided to do so.

“both papyrus and undyne swear having seen a pair of bright white wings as they came to after you had saved them from dusting. what they saw is real, isn’t it? those wings on your back are real, aren’t they? i could sense the tell-tale buzz of magic when i touched them last night.”

“I don’t know why they saw wings. From what I understand it’s a side effect of using ‘the Breath of Life’. But yeah, they are real. Don’t ask me to show them though. I don’t know how to summon them… I know I can… I just don’t know how… The few memories I have of having them out are like remembering a dream…”

While he mulled over this new information I put on a bra and a pair of jeans. Grabbing a blouse from my closet I turned around while putting it on. His eyes snapped back into focus, gaze above my breasts, on the scar there. Making me button up immediately. His eyes moved to my face, but I looked away. Instead, I pulled my hair from the now damp towel, tossing it on my bed. I’d deal with it later.

“that scar…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“your soul caused it, didn’t it?”

“Sans…”

He remained quiet and I tried to move passed him, needing another cup of coffee and some breakfast. He stepped in front of me. His eyes almost perfectly level with the scar. The clinical look still on his face as he undid the buttons that covered it. I took a shaky breath as he studied the smooth, raised, uneven bumps of skin on my chest with its faint green centre. The tops of his fingers hovered just above it, I didn’t dare breathe. The scar tissue was just as sensitive as my soul.

“I know I’m a freak, but could you just stop staring.”

His eyes snapped up to look at me and I looked away, grabbing my wrist, gripping the scars there. My eyes started to sting and I clenched my teeth. I wasn’t going to cry. Bony fingers wedged themselves underneath mine breaking the death grip I had on my wrist. As they took a hold of my hand. The fingers of his other hand gently grabbed my chin and turned my head back until I had to look at him. I could feel myself shake a little against his calm hands, tears forming in my eyes.

“is that it? is that why you were acting self-destructive last night? because you think you are a freak?”

“Going out to a nightclub isn’t self-destructive behaviour!”

“it is if you are only going to get yourself under influence of drugs and alcohol and willing to sleep with anyone wanting to get into your pants.”

“That’s rich coming from the guy who got drunk himself and fucked me less than twelve hours ago!”

“that is not the point and you know it.”

“Then what is the point?!”

“the point is that it’s not good for you.”

“It’s been plenty good the past few years!”

“angel, listen to me. you deserve better.”

“Shut up.”

“you are worth more than a drunken one-night-stand with some random guy.”

“Shut up…”

“you are not a freak. you are a beautiful, smart, young woman with whom i had the fortune to have spent a drunken night with. but more importantly, i have the privilege of knowing and being able to call my friend. yes, you are unlike anything known to monster or humankind, but that does not make you a freak or anything unworthy of love.”

“Shut up!”

“you’ve come so far from the scared little girl that i pranked with a whoopee cushion. you’ve got food, drink, a place to call home, friends that really care about you… stop being so harsh on yourself. you deserve this. you deserve love. i know it’s not easy, but you’ve got to believe me when i say that you are not a freak.”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

My knees gave out on me. Sans caught me before they could hit the floor, holding me tight as he gently guided me to sit on the couch. I clung onto him as if my life depended upon it, sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder. Molly’s head rested on my knees, ears low.