#got a bit too bored during mass

[anotherqueersnailowner]

My catholic parents: we're going to mass tonight, be good

Me: fine >:(

Also me, 55 minutes into the service: The Church is but a Butcher in Shepherd's clothing, luring gullible sheep to Slaughter with Hollow Promises of Green Pastures and a Warm Place to Lay. It is Hateful Actions justified by claims of Love and Righteousness and Virtuosity. It is a Wolf in Sheep's clothing which has Infiltrated the flock, Feeding upon the most Vulnerable among us while our backs are turned. It is

[a-killer-obsession]

🎂 Birthday Boy [Zoro x Sanji x Reader] - Part 3

🔞 MINORS DNI 🔞

You always get Sanji the best birthday gifts, and sometimes that extends to Zoro too.

CW: (for entire series) Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Pegging, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Double Penetration, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism, Praise Kink, Begging, Everyone is bisexual cos I say so, Rimming, Pet Play

WC: (for entire series) 6240

Masterlist || AO3

Last time Sanji's birthday had come around you'd taken a bit of a risk on the strap on. You'd seen him eyeing it up, sure, but you didn't actually know 100% that it was what he wanted. Of course that risk ended up paying off, but now you needed to get him an even better birthday present this year. This time though, you knew exactly what he wanted. Or rather, who. 

Since Zoro's birthday he'd joined the two of you a few more times. It was always under the guise of you servicing Zoro and Sanji enjoying getting off to watching Zoro fuck you, but there was a unspoken tension between the two men. You saw how they longed to touch each other, but past making out and Zoro's dick rubbing against Sanji's while they were both inside you, they hadn't had the courage to seek each other out. 

It was a little frustrating actually, because frankly you got wet just thinking about watching Zoro fucking Sanji. Sometimes you'd imagine it was Zoro's dick inside him while you pegged him. Thinking about your plan you weren't even really sure if this was a gift for Sanji, or for you. Or even for Zoro, who clearly wanted Sanji's ass. 

Sanji had become open to Zoro fucking you on his own as well, so sometimes it would be just the two of you. You weren't in love or anything, Zoro was just fucking hot and needed a warm hole and you were happy to provide as long as Sanji was okay with it. 

You were laying next to Zoro on the floor of the training room as you both came down from your orgasms when you decided to bring up the subject, rather unsubtly. 

“You should fuck Sanji”

“What?” Zoro turned and looked at you, his eyes wide. “Where the fuck did that come from?” 

“Oh don't act like you don't want a piece of that ass mosshead,” you replied coyly, “straight men don't make out like that, let alone rub their dicks together.”

Zoro huffed. “Fine.” 

“Good,” you replied, “then it's settled. It's his birthday next week, you better give it to him good or you're never getting this pussy again.” you said, standing up and wiggling your ass at him before putting your clothes back on. 

“Oh I'll give it to him real good,” he said, standing behind you as you slipped on your pants and pressing himself against your back, “our sweet birthday boy isn't gonna know what hit em” 

The two of you laugh, some would call it an evil genius laugh, before you finally finish dressing and leave Zoro to his training. The mad man liked to work out while the hormones were still running through his system, he said it was good for building mass. 

So Sanji's birthday came along, your secret plans with Zoro now a little more fleshed out. The two of you were ready to absolutely spoil him rotten. Zoro had agreed to not drink too much during the birthday celebrations, and everyone had gone out to a bar to party. Unbeknownst to Sanji, you'd booked a lovely nearby hotel room for the night, and the room was already set for your special gift. 

As the night dragged on you and Zoro both started to get antsy, both biding your time till enough celebrations had been had and it was an appropriate time to drag Sanji away from the party. Zoro left first, feigning that he was bored and going to go to bed, a copy of the hotel room key hidden in his pocket. He needed to go ahead and hide in the bathroom for everything to be perfect. 10 minutes later you started sliding your hand between Sanji's thighs, knowing full well that it would take approximately two minutes for him to be chomping at the bit begging you to take you to some random alleyway and fuck you senseless. 

Your plan was going perfectly, and Sanji was practically drooling over you, kissing your neck and desperately trying to get a hand between your legs. The man was the definition of easy to get. You dragged him outside, but he was pretty surprised when instead of leading him to an alleyway, you led him straight through the doors of a fancy hotel a few buildings down. 

He was even more surprised when you didn't even stop at the reception to book a room, instead leading him straight to the elevator and pinning him against the wall as soon as the doors shut. You palmed his already needy cock through his pants and sucked at his neck while he moaned and tugged at your clothes. The second the elevator went ‘ding’ you pulled off him, leaving him a desperate mess of a man. 

You didn't bother taking his hand, you knew he'd be following you like an obedient dog, trying desperately to pin you against any surface he possibly could and grinding against your ass as you tried to unlock the door. 

He pinned you to the wall as soon as you were inside, closing the door behind you and shoving his hand under your skirt and down your panties as fast as he possibly could. But this wasn't about you, this was about him. You took back control, grabbing his throat and holding it tight as he whined. You made him walk backwards, falling onto the bed. Climbing on top of him he desperately tried to take your dress off and get his mouth on whatever he could, but you pinned him to the bed. 

He growled at you, annoyed that you weren't letting him touch you. You grinded against him and he groaned while you just looked at him smugly. 

“Sanji my love, I haven't given you your birthday present yet~” you cooed. 

He stopped fighting you immediately. After last year's birthday he was eager to see what you had in store, especially considering that he thought the hotel room was the present. You climbed off him and retrieved a slim box from the dresser, climbing back on top of him, but a little lower so he could sit up and look at the gift. 

A slight confusion ran over his face when he opened it. A collar? With a leash? Did she get me a dog? What would I do with a dog on the open sea? You just grinned at him, waiting for him to inspect it closer. 

Decent sized collar, large dog? He thought as he picked it up. It was a white leather, embellished with small green stones. Zoro had helped you pick it out. From the center hung a gold name tag. He stopped it from swinging around and looked at it closely. 

SANJI

Property of [Y/N] & Zoro

If found please return to the Thousand Sunny

You felt his cock twitch under you and heard his breath hitch as he realized what it said. He looked at you, then the collar, then you, then the collar. His eyes may as well have been black from how blown out his pupils were becoming. 

“Would you like to try it on?” you hummed. 

He handed it to you and lifted his hair off his neck without hesitation, and you fixed the collar around it. Tight enough to be firm, but not enough to choke him. 

“There's my sweet puppy,” you cooed, “let's get you leashed shall we?” 

You took the matching leash, gold chain with a matching leather handle, and attached it to the collar. You stood from the bed and he followed, kneeling in front of you beside the bed as you held the leash and gave it a little tug. He moaned immediately, and your pussy throbbed. 

“Take off your clothes,” you ordered. 

He immediately stripped and stood naked in front of you, his cock hard and dripping with precum. You stroked it a few times and he whimpered, melting into your touch. 

“Kneel” you told him. He did so without missing a beat, looking up at you with eager, glazed over eyes.

“There's one more thing, my love,” you hummed, stroking his chin, “did you read the tag?”

Yeah he read it. In fact it was playing over and over in his head. 

SANJI

Property of [Y/N] & Zoro

… & Zoro his eyes widened as he came to the realization. 

“Zoro,” you called, smirking at Sanji, “you can come out now”

The bathroom door opened and Zoro appeared, naked and already rock hard. He walked up behind you and pressed himself to your body, slipping his hand under your dress and into your panties. Sanji watched from pussy level as Zoro played with you and you moaned, your head falling back against Zoro's shoulder. Instinctively he pulled down your panties, wanting a better view. You put your leg over his shoulder and tugged on the collar, making him whine. Zoro's cock twitched against your ass. 

“Have a taste, my love” you purred. 

Zoro twisted his hands through Sanji's hair, holding him to your pussy as he ate you out, Zoro biting and sucking at your neck. You reached back and stroked Zoro's cock and he grunted against your skin. But this wasn't about you, you reminded yourself, this was about Sanji. 

You pulled on the collar again, and Sanji looked up at you. You let go of Zoro's cock, he knew this was the signal to take over. He pulled Sanji's head away from you as you slid your leg off his shoulder. Sanji watched with wide eyes as you handed Zoro the leash, and Zoro took no time in pulling it tight, looping it around his wrist and pulling Sanji to him so his face was now aligned with his cock. 

You sat on the bed behind Sanji and ran your hands through his hair as he looked hungrily at Zoro's girthy cock. He wanted it so bad, but he was scared to cross that line. 

“Why don't you give Zoro a taste, my love?” you purred in his ear, “let him see how lovely your mouth is” 

He looked up at Zoro as he nervously took his cock in his hand. He'd wanted this for so long, and he'd had his fair share of fantasies with you and the strap on, but he'd never actually been with a man. He licked the tip experimentally and Zoro groaned and tugged the leash, begging Sanji to do more. 

He ran his tongue along the underside from base to tip, before taking it in his mouth. Just a little at first, then closing his eyes and taking as much as he could, using his hands for what he couldn't take. 

“Good boy,” you cooed, as you pulled his hair tight and moved it back and forth, helping Sanji give Zoro head. Zoro grunted as he looked down at Sanji. He took control of Sanji's head with his free hand as you moved away, stripping off your own clothes and spreading your legs on the bed, touching yourself so Zoro could watch. You gave each other a knowing grin as you both moaned at each other and watched Sanji sucking Zoro's cock. 

Sanji whined, his own cock twitching and begging to be touched, and Zoro gave you the signal that it was time to move on to the next phase of the plan. He pulled Sanji away, who released his cock with a pop, looking up at Zoro as saliva and precum dripped from his mouth. Zoro smirked at him and yanked on the collar, making him stand. He pushed him back onto the bed, where you were waiting to catch him and pull him to lay against you. 

Zoro climbed on top of both of you and Sanji felt like he was about to burst as Zoro bent down and brought his tongue to his ass, bringing his strong hand up to stroke Sanji's cock while he rimmed him. Sanji's head was thrown back as he moaned, and you stroked his chest and played with his nipples, cooing praises in his ear. 

Zoro slipped a finger, then a second inside Sanji. He was used to this sensation, he was well adapted to have his ass played with and fucked since his last birthday, but Zoro's fingers were harder and larger that yours and he whined. Zoro grinned at you. You nibbled at Sanji's neck as he writhed between the two of you. 

“Let him hear you beg for it my sweet puppy,” you purred, “tell Zoro what you want”

“Please- “ Sanji begged, looking at Zoro with hungry eyes, “please fuck me, please, I want your dick so bad” 

Zoro pulled his fingers out of him and lined himself up with Sanji. You held out a bottle of lube to him, and he covered his dick in it, then dripped it into Sanji's needy hole. You wrapped your arms around Sanji and braced him as Zoro slid inside. 

“Fuck, you're so tight,” Zoro grunted. 

Sanji moaned and grabbed your thighs that were spread either side of him, holding them for support as Zoro sheathed himself fully inside Sanji. 

“Fuck-” he moaned, “fuck, please Marimo, please, fuck me” 

Zoro could have cum right then and there at how messy and needy Sanji was while you chewed on his neck and his fingers sunk into your thighs. He began his rhythm and Sanji moaned deliriously. He increased his pace as Sanji stretched to accommodate his girth, and you reached around to take Sanji's cock in your hand. Sanji was bouncing against you as Zoro fucked him, so all you had to do was hold your hand still and the bouncing would do the work for you. 

“H-harder,” he pleaded, reaching out at pulling Zoro's hair. Zoro grunted and fucked him harder, Sanji now bouncing hard against you. It made you unbearably horny watching Zoro rut into your boyfriend and feeling the way his cock tensed in your hand. You ached with need and gave Zoro a pleading glance. 

He saw your need and stopped his thrusting, and Sanji whined as he pulled out. The whining was quickly cut off when Zoro grabbed Sanji's hips and flipped him, Sanji's cock now sliding against your wet cunt. 

“Fuck her,” he growled in Sanji's ear. 

Sanji wasted no time seating himself inside you and you both moaned as he bottomed out. Before he could move Zoro grabbed his hips and slid back inside him. You watched Sanji's eyes roll back as Zoro started to fuck him again, the heavy thrusts making him rut in to you. You rolled your hips in time to Zoro's rhythms, the two of you both fucking Sanji in unison while he moaned and writhed between you. 

Your bodies were slick with sweat and the only sounds in the room were grunts, moans, the tag and leash of the collar clanging, and the lewd sound of bodies slapping together, as you all got your fill of pleasure. 

You were first to come, unbearably aroused by the whole situation and too horny to think. Sanji came close behind, crying out as he came hard inside you. Zoro was last but not far off, giving Sanji one last powerful thrust as he dumped his load in Sanji's ass. 

The three of you were a panting, sweaty, fucked-out pile of bodies as you came down from your highs. 

The silence was finally broken by your content laugh. “Happy birthday my love” you cooed, stroking Sanji's hair as he laid against your chest trying to catch his breath, his cock growing soft inside you as Zoro's grew soft inside him. 

“Happy birthday, waiter,” Zoro smirked. 

[dullgecko]

Scar hcs

Fabian has just so many because his parents were very insistent on the fact that scars were proof of living and proof of power so while he does get healed when he’s injured in training he does refuse to have them fully heal the scar only to the point where it won’t “cause him any trouble” (beyond the amount of ache he’s used to from scars) (he does not bring this up to other people because he is so afraid they won’t understand so he just lets them heal him fully)

Kristen on the other hand is the exact opposite way to the point where any scar left on her body is seen as a failing as a cleric on her part and she’s just gotten so good at it from being a clumsy child to the point where her body is disturbingly scarless

Adaine has a small collection of scars on her arms from clutching them so hard during panic attacks that her parents would never let her go to a healer for so by the time she meets the Bad Kids they’re mostly too old to be healed fully (they do get more faint but it takes a lot of energy from Kristen)

Gorgug has a bunch of tiny scars from helping his parents out in the workshop growing up whenever he’s bored in class he doodles around them (whenever he comes out from math class his forearms are just like a mass of flowers and sparkles and whatever he could come up with that day and it’s very pretty but he has to wash it off immediately because he had barbarian class the next period and Porter would be pissed)

Fig has a small collection of cigarette burns on her shoulders from her phase in freshman year, she thought because putting them out on herself didn’t really hurt her as much it wasn’t a problem plus it made her mom really worried (she stopped like a week after meeting the Bad Kids and she asked Kristen to “heal them to where they don’t actually hurt but they still look badass”)

Goblins have pretty sensitive skin so Riz’s scars tend to give him a lot more trouble than most people, especially in extreme temperatures Riz takes just so much fantasy ibuprofen during the winter that it’s a little bit concerning for his tiny goblin body (Fabian finds out sometime sophomore year and immediately makes him a little nest in his house for him so that it’s not as bad during cold holiday sleepovers but insists that it’s just blankets he’s not using until after spring break when he’s like yes it’s a nest yes he made it for his best friend so what)

🩰

If you wait too long to get healed scars tend to 'set' because the bodies own healing starts to take over. Horrific injuries in battle heal seamlessly because the cleric is getting to them within minutes of the injury happening so, barring a body part being outright destroyed they're able to be fixed up 100%. The deeper they are and the longer you leave them determine how well they can be repaired after the fact.

Fabian never used to bother getting things healed that weren't going to cause issues later. Shallow cuts would just get left alone to heal on their own, they were no big deal. The scar on his face got left long enough before Kristen healed it that, though the skin is smooth thanks to the amount of effort she expended trying to 'fix' it, its still fairly discoloured compared to the rest of his face. It was deep enough that if she left it for a few more hours it would start causing issues with the muscles on his face, luckily kristen is a good enough cleric that though she couldn't disappear it completly he has no underlying issues.

Kristen was subconsiously healing herself before anyone even realised she was a cleric. She's never had an injury linger long enough to cause a scar.

Adaine and Gorgug are in the same boat. The scars are old but can be smoothed out and faded because they're so shallow, but the discolouration is still there.

Fig has cuts and scars from the regular rough and tumble of being a kid. Nothing super gnarley because her mom is able to heal but she for sure had a lot of scraped knees growing up. The skin around the base of her horns is fairly scarred up as well, since she wouldn't let her mom heal her when they first broke through the skin.

Riz had a lot of superficial scars just as a result of getting bullied as a kid, not to mention ones he's accidentally given himself over the years because his claws are sharp and sometimes you'll accidentally cut yourself. His worst ones are on his hands and they're not superficial. Kristen and Fig weren't able to heal him straight away after the fight in the arcade and his hands got ripped to shreds in the palimpsest. Then they were arrested, separated, and he had to sit for hours in the back of the police van away from his friends without healing while they sorted everything out. By the time he got healed later the damage was already done. His hands shake and twitch now if he's tired or cold and his handwriting took forever to become legible again.

[gokuilysm]

He was never very knowledgeable, but he was always eager to please. Alluding to porn with history.

😀 May or may not write the actual porn part if people actually read this!

Goku's eyes rolled dramatically, his hands resting on his hips.

"C'mon babe, it's really not that big of a deal!" He exclaimed, seriously not understanding what was wrong with what he asked.

"Yes it is! Sharing stuff like that with other people unprovoked is embarrassing!" I shouted, my face still flushed with embarrassment as he spoke up during the venue.

It's ridiculous, he had the audacity to admit information- information about your intimate life that you were not exactly ready to share.

Goku sighs, frowning softly. "I.. didn't know that it was so important to you," he sighed. His hand came up to his hair as he scratched the top of his head idly. "That's my bad, I guess." He said, a bit unsure still of why I'm upset, but not wanting to get me angry.

- Earlier that evening, at a dinner celebrating Bulma's newest invention- a robot that has the ability to administer first aid around the world. -

"I know! It's so many robots getting pumped out!" Bulma exclaims loudly, speaking to the more classy side of her social circle. It wasn't common that you got to see Bulma being business savvy, but it's always admirable to watch her confidence as she steps away and walks toward me and my husband- Goku.

"I really do think this is a great step for you, Bulma." I say with a smile, drinking a bit of my wine as I hold the expensive glass carefully- mostly because I know with Goku's income, I could never hope to afford to break it. Not that I mind that.

"Ah, I know- it's just so exciting though, isn't it? I haven't mass-produced something like this in so long." Bulma exclaims, her hands clasping in front of her chest. Goku then peeked over my shoulder, chewing his complimentary cheese from the charcuterie board on our private guest table.

"Ah, just think about the difference this is going to make! So many lives potentially getting saved, so many people feeling just a bit more secure.. it's so heroic of you!" I say, looking up at Bulma with a smile, my heart being warmed by her generosity and the care in her product.

"Well- of course. I thought about what you said back then about my money, and I realized you're right. I could be doing something even more, and it's successful!" She said, referring to a moment in our teenage years where I had chastised her misuse of her enormous fortune. Of course she cared about saving lives- but she had more interest in the money being made and business at hand. Which, that is fine, it's an admirable drive for success.

"I don't get it, why do we have to be here?" Goku asked, sounding incredibly bored, making Bulma raise an eyebrow, and I to turn and look at him. "Bulma invents stuff all the time, why do I have to dress up for every one?" He asked, annoyance growing from his boredom, making him rather sassy.

"Because-," I start, but I'm cut off.

"Do you only ever have sex one time because it's just the same thing again and again?" Bulma asks, folding her arms, a quickly defensive tone appearing, and Goku jumps at the argumentative tone.

"What? No! That's different! Me and Blake do it like all the time, plus I don't have to dress up for that!" Goku exclaims, a bit too loudly- making Vegeta nearly break his neck to look over at our table in disgust.

"Oh my gosh.." I mutter, my face becoming buried in my hands as I curl up in my chair, so embarrassed I wanted to punch Goku smack in the nose- but I refrain to avoid causing a scene.

"Pfft-," Bulma laughs as she sees my embarrassed blush- but her eyes widen as she sees me clutch my purse at my side and speedwalk out the back door of the large, open building. Goku sits, watching me in confusion before turning to Bulma. "What are you doing? Follow her you idiot!" She shouts, pointing at the door with firm instruction.

"Oh! Right!" Goku exclaims, quickly getting up and jogging toward the back, hitting his hip on a chair and tripping a bit for a second before resuming his chase after me outside.

- Back to present -

"Yeah, well.. it is your fault." I say with a small, frustrated mutter, looking away from him to hide the flush on my cheeks.

Goku frowned. "Hey. Hold on-," he said, walking in front of me and carefully placing his hands on my shoulders. "Don't be mad at me," Goku said.

"Well, I'm supposed to be mad at you! Yeah it's not the end of the world but- I thought you had the sense to not say that so loud in public!" I say, folding my arms and looking away.

"Please?" Goku coaxed me, knowing how to get me to calm down from experience- and who can blame him? Sometimes it's purposeful, and sometimes it's an accident- but it's always a fun challenge to get me hot then cool me down. "C'mon," he said carefully, pulling me gently by my arm, leading me to our car in the nearly empty private parking lot.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask with a sigh, wanting to stay mad at him, but it's hard when he's reminding me how sweet he is when he's not.. in any social situation near you. (Love him, and it's cute, but sometimes you get second hand embarrassment with how goofy he is).

"Here," he said, unlocking the car and pulling the seat on the passenger side all the way back, making me raise an eyebrow. That is, until he gets in and pulls me into the car with him, stumbling into his lap as he closes the door, hitting my butt with a thud.

"Uhf!-" I noise, and Goku giggles apologetically.

"Sorry babe," he giggles softly, pulling me properly into his lap.

"You're not going to seduce me into being happy with you." I say.

"Whaatt? I would never do that!" Goku exclaims, his hands on my waist as I sit atop his thighs, and he smiles looking up at me. "Not like me," he says playfully with a shrug, before pulling me in and kissing my lips softly. I sigh. I know I can't say no to him, he's so sweet, and he's such a big oaf.. but he's so amazing. He's my husband, I can't just not want him, and his lips feel so right on mine.

"Fine." I sputter quickly between his playful kisses all over my lips- and I squeal a bit happily as he keeps going with a giggle. "Fine, fine!" I shout, laughing as he finally stops with his peppering kisses. Goku smiles.

"Good. I know exactly what'll make you feel better...," he mutters playfully with a grin, his hands sliding down my waist to slowly dig his fingers into the soft skin of my ass cheeks, gripping the flesh appreciatively. He grins playfully, before slowly grinding against me, and boy is he good at it- it's like humping is just in his nature, feeling the only subtly hardened outline of his forming erection catching against the fabric of my spandex shorts beneath my dress as he carefully lifts the fabric of my skirt.

"Oh..that's so nice of you..," I say airily, sighing heavily as my hands finding their way to his muscular chest- as I've done so many times. I love how loving him never gets old.

[seat-safety-switch]

Charging an electric car is currently a bit of a bummer. It takes longer than filling up a gas car. When you’re on a trip, you usually have to do it at a boring suburban strip mall or a public park that doesn’t even have a video arcade. Not everywhere has a charger, and the chargers you do find are sometimes broken, just like that super-frayed phone charger you need to throw out, it’s going to burn your house down.

It’s not going to stay this way, because Seat Safety Switching Power Supply Solutions has an answer. Nature already gives us all the electricity we’d ever want. All that zap just falls right from the sky, and we waste it every day by not accumulating it. Solar, you ask? Couldn’t be further from the truth. Solar is great and all, but let’s leave it for the important things: elementary-school calculators and looking at pornography in the woods. No, my friends, we are going to harness the power of the gods: lightning itself.

Seems so obvious now, right? You just needed someone to spell it out for you, we all get like that sometimes. Well, like all great innovations, this one took a lot of work to get it over the finish line. If you just go right out there with a big metal stick during a thunderstorm, it will probably (at least) void your warranty. You need yourself a system that can convert the electrical energy from nature’s temper tantrums into juice for your car. We’re going to give you a big stick with a battery attached.

Not good enough for you? Then it’s not good enough for us. You can also hook up our proprietary big metal stick on overhead electrical lines, such as those used by “trains,” whatever those are. Let the city pay for your charge! If you’ve got more than one person in the car with you (or at least are thinking really hard about another person,) then you’re technically mass transit in our books anyway. And with all the time and money you saved waiting for a charge, you can invest in some high-voltage gloves. It’s the hot fashion right now, but only 50,000kV and above. Maybe get some rubber boots, too.

[yunjardi]

UNHOLY HOLIDAYS

pairing: boyfriend!jake x female!reader

includes: smut [mdni], established relationship, slight pda, teasing, unprotected sex [pls stay safe and use protection], breeding kink, spanking, oral, dirty talk, jake calls the reader slut, baby, and good girl, alcohol [please feel free to let me know if i missed anything!]

a/n: happy holidays to the horny people on my phone <3

an elegant and elaborate christmas tree stood tall on the left side of the church’s podium where the fancy robe clad priest was making his elaborate ‘what-christmas-is-really-about’ speech; a staple in christmas mass.

you weren’t exactly the church type, but you agreed to attend only because you wanted jake to feel content this christmas eve. 

you two would usually attend church with his family during christmas eve, but this is the first christmas the two of you were spending alone together. still, jake wanted to uphold the whole ‘church on christmas eve’ thing his family did every year, which you always thought was boring but you loved jake too much to say no. 

jake seemed to be listening attentively to the priest’s, kind of obnoxious, speech, but in reality, his warm hand was running up and down your thigh, his fingers seeming to push the fabric of your sweater dress up with every wispy movement of his hand. the dimly lit cathedral room leading him to believe that no one could see what he was doing, the soft lighting definitely not helping with the fact that jake was beginning to feel a bit horny.

you shot him a quick look, wondering if he was aware of what he was doing or if it was just his subconsciousness taking over him. his facial expression showed you that his actions were, in fact, intentional. it seemed as if he couldn’t wait until you got back to the room you two rented out at winter lodge for the week.  

it kinda shocked you to see him act this way in public, especially at church. this may have a random local church that you two would never go to again, but you didn’t expect a “church boy” like him to not have any shame as he dragged his hand all over your thigh. you figured it was just him not caring about the fact that you guys would literally never go to this church again, and not just because it wasn’t near your real house.

once the church service ended, jake held your hand as he led you to the car, giggling to himself about the fun he had teasing you during mass.

“well aren’t you a little sinner,” you joked as you buckled your seatbelt, jake laughing. “only when you’re around,” he remarked as he looked into your eyes, which caused you to raise an eyebrow. “whatever you say, jake.”

once you arrived back at your lodge room, jake opened the fridge and began to pour both of you each a glass of wine while you sat on the loveseat that you positioned near the fireplace because it was blisteringly cold outside. 

not long after, jake came to join you, wineglasses in hand. 

“i made sure to get something nice to drink,” jake said sweetly as he handed you one of two wineglasses, “maybe the alcohol will warm you up.” you gave jake a warm smile, clinking your wineglass with jake’s before taking a sip. you weren’t fond of the taste, but you took a few more sips so that jake didn’t suspect that you disliked the flavor and sting that you felt as it traveled down your throat. both of you simultaneously placed your wine down on the side tables that were on either side of the loveseat before turning to look at each other. 

“warm?” jake asked as he put his arm around you. “mmm, i could be warmer,” you responded, putting your head against his chest and taking it upon yourself to move his hand over to your thigh, “why don’t we finish what you were trying to start when you were supposed to be listening to the word of god?” jake trailed his hand up and down your thigh slowly and sensually, this fingers teasing you and getting close to pulling on the elastic of the matching pajama pants that you and jake wore. his fingers caressed you until you felt them slip into the waistband of both your pajama pants and your panties, which made your breath hitch. you let your hands trail over to his pajamas as you began to gently tug them down, jake following your actions. now that both your bottoms were off, it was easier for you two to play with each other.

“so naughty,” jake whispered in your ear as his hands found their way to your swollen clit, making you quietly gasp out, followed by a shy mewl. he chuckled sexily. “shy now?” nodding in agreement, you turned your head so you could bury your bashful face into his shoulder to which he chuckled again as he placed a kiss on top of your head. "my precious girl. i'm gonna take good care of you."

scooting off the couch, jake kneeled in front of you. "spread your legs wide open for me, baby," jake said seductively, "let me taste you."

shyly, you spread your legs open for him, a light smirk forming on his face as he held your legs apart by your knees. "please, please, please touch me," you pleaded quietly, your pussy already dripping wet in anticipation. jake smiled lovingly, proud of how quickly you submitted to him whether he was being rough or gentle.

"such a polite girl," jake smiled against your clit before beginning to suck on it, "you know what they say: nice girls get what they want on christmas. will you keep being a good girl for me?" jake asked you while caressing your inner thighs, his breath fanning your needy entrance. "i'll be a good girl for jakey," you whimpered out, needily trying to push his head further down in between your legs, eager for him to eat your pussy, "i promise." listening closely, you heard jake let out a content hum in response before quickly latching his lips onto your clit again, prompting you to ever so gently tug on a fistful of his soft black hair.

"mmm," you moaned out while subconsciously wrapping you calves around his shoulders to ensure that he'd stay where he belonged; between your legs.

you let him work wonders with his tongue for a few more minutes before lifting his head up from between your wet thighs. "something wrong, baby?" jake asked as he used his index finger and thumb to wipe the remaining bits of your arousal off his face. you responded by climbing off the couch and motioning for him to sit on the couch in front of you. "oh, i see," jake smirked as he gave you a pat on your head, "so you really wanna be a good girl this christmas?" you nodded with an innocent smile before taking hold of his veiny cock, stroking it slowly before kissing from his balls to his tip, making him let out a low groan as his head fell back.

you had every intention to suck almost every last drop of cum out of his dick, so with that in mind, you began to stroke it while licking and sucking on the tip, occasionally moaning against his cock for added stimulation.

"f-fuck," jake lowly stuttered out as he resisted the urge to buck his hips toward your mouth, "keep going, slut, yeah just like that. i'm gonna fucking cum." you smiled against his cock, eagerly continuing to suck it so you could speed up the process of getting a taste of his warm seed. before you knew it, his cum spurted onto your tongue, making you let out a moan accompanied by a content hum. you watched his chest rise and fall for a few more seconds before he regained the strength to bring you over to the bed to begin destroying your pussy.

not wasting time, jake bent you over the edge of the bed and lined up his raw tip outside your tight and needy entrance, making sure to land a harsh spank on your ass before putting himself inside you.

"jake!" you let out a high pitched yet gasp-y and breathy moan at the rush you received from jake's cock suddenly pounding at your sweet spot, "fuck, right there!" you moaned uncontrollably, not expecting him to start going so rough immediately. "mm, so warm and wet for me," jake groaned out while kneading your ass, slowing down so that he could change positions.

he got comfortable against the headboard, pulling you toward him and posing your body exactly how he wanted; facing away from him while you sat yourself up and down on his dick. jake guided his thick tip back into your pussy, letting you take your time sinking down on his cock. "s-so deep," you mewled out while you pushed your hips further into his. "mhm," jake chuckled sexily as he adored the way your ass bounced against his thighs, "you feel me all the way in your tummy? you want me to cum all up inside you, don't you?" you let a breathy moan escape your lips before responding. "m-mhm," you nodded as your hip movements got slower, "want your cum please."

jake gently pushed you off of him, letting his still rock hard, and now wet, cock fall out of you. he turned you around so that you were facing him, immediately making you sink down on his member again, so desperate to feel your tight walls squeezing around him again.

"look me in my eyes while i fill you up, slut," jake commanded, "i wanna hear you moan for me." you whined as you bounced on his cock, his dirty words motivating you further. "you feel so g-good, jakey," you breathed out as your pussy violently pulsed around his stiff cock, "please hurry and cum inside me." you begged needily while looking him in his pretty brown eyes.

"aww, my good little girl wants my cum so bad," jake cooed as he caressed your hips, "you want my babies inside you that badly, hm? is that one of my christmas gifts to you? a cute little baby?" your eyes were teary with pleasure as you bit your bottom lip and nodded. "m-mhm, jakey," you stuttered out a response, "want a baby so b-bad." jake practically melted at hearing you say that, not just because it was an extreme turn-on for him, but also because he found it super sweet and cute.

he was so turned on, in fact, that he didn't even realize he was already releasing his load inside you. all he knew was that he was letting out uncontrollable low groans as you bounced on his veiny cock, wanting to drain every last bit of cum from it.

"g-good girl," jake moaned deeply as his eyes rolled back, his nails digging into the soft flesh of your ass, "you love being full of my cum, don't you?" he asked breathlessly, to which you mewled shyly in agreement before letting his cock fall out of you. your inner thighs were soaked in his and your arousal as you collapsed next to him in the bed.

glancing over at the nightstand, jake looked at the digital clock.

12:00AM

it was officially christmas day.

he smirked as he turned back at you, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"we'll have to wait and see if you got what you wanted for christmas," jake chuckled as he put his big, warm hand on your lower stomach.

a/n: happy whorelidays to you all <3 i hope the season treats you well ! sorry for the huge delay in my writing recently, i'll be back with more stuff soon ! <3 u all

taglist: @axartia @jjhmk @valiantwastelanddelusion @jayroseyy @ayohahaha @asaheyow @lhsng @i-dalso @bunhoons @red-xherry @duolingofanaccount @lix-freckle3 @l0st-h0p3s @leeis @muffinminnie @green-orangeade @imbaeksbae @sunghoonmybeloved

©yunjardi on tumblr

[water-to-drink]

Be a Gladiolus in a Field of Belladonnas pt8

Let’s Go Ice Fishing!

(Summary): Seeing that your mood has been down in the dumps, Lumine and Childe decide to surprise you with a secret ice fishing trip, unbeknownst to the strom closing in

Part 1 Last Part Next Part

✧ Masterlist ✧

(Characters): Traveler!Lumine, Childe, Paimon, Abyss Prince!Aether , Al haitham, Jean, Ganyu, Sara, Ayato, and Ningguang

(Warnings): Cursing, suggestive language, use of Childe’s real name, Childe’s downbad in this part too, not proofread(let me know if I miss anything)

(A/n): Al haitham and Jean are friends cuz I said so >:(

─────────── ✧ ───────────

The snowstorms have gotten less frequent and harsh during your time in Snezhnaya, but that still didn’t calm your nerves. It has been 3 weeks, nearing a month since anymore Primogems have been found. You can tell things have gotten stressful from the jumpy nature of the low level fatui agents and them being much more apologetic lately. Things have gotten to the point where you rarely see the Harbingers or the Tsarita. Though you have Lumine and Paimon and Aether when he’s not in the Abyss to talk to, the tension still hanging over your head the feeling of uncertainty starts clutching at your back a lot more as of late

You try not to let your anxiety show, but it seems that no matter how hard you try your first vessel would be more privy of you and your emotions

And her and Paimon’s behavior today, you began to grow a bit suspicious of them. What could they be planning? It wasn’t until your favorite homicidal ginger ran up to you and shoved a fishing rod in your hand, saying that he and Lumine have something planned for you

“Ice fishing?”

“Yeah, we’ve noticed that you’ve been down recently and Childe suggested that we take you ice fishing, to clear your head.” Lumine explained

“It would be good to get some fresh air!” Paimon chimed

“That sounds nice, but we should let the others know about this so they don’t freak out when they can’t find me.”

“Don’t worry about that, I already told Capitano!” Childe exclaimed. “Come on, the good fish are waiting for us!” Childe grabbed your free hand and took you out the back

You should’ve known something was up when the taller man looked around each turn before leading you to another corner, but the prospect of being outside made you throw out any reason. When you were brought to the destination, a frozen lake with 3 stools around a hole cut into the ice

“This way, your-”

“Let me help you to your seat, (y/n).” Lumine cut the Harbinger off and took your hand to help you get through the ice and to your designated stool

Once all three of you settled into your respective stools, you turned towards Childe. “So what’s the point of ice fishing?”

“Well, it’s just a way to get out. I do this to clear my head after a long mission with no bloodshed.” The Ginger explained

“So we just talk and hope to catch a fish?”

“Yeah…”

“This sounds too boring, I’m going to take a nap.” Paimon said before disappearing in her little pocket dimension

“Wait, she can do that?!” You shrieked in bewilderment

“Yeah, I thought you could see it during all the times you used me as a vessel.” Lumine assumed

You were too dumbfounded to formulate any words. Thankfully you didn’t blurt out thinking her disappearing into a mass of sparkles and stars was only a game mechanic. You don’t know how you would explain to them what game was and that they were in one without causing some existential crisis

“Okay…”

It was all you manage to say and the two took it without saying anything more. You looked towards the horizon and admired the sun that just revealed itself in all of it’s shining glory. Oddly enough looking at the ball of fiery death didn’t blind you after starring at it, you could say it almost felt comforting. The same comfort you get when reminiscing on a snack you would have as a kid but not as much as you got older. The feeling of nostalgia got you thinking on some things, the same things that been crawling at your back. It didn’t help that the silence you were sitting in made the crawling worse the seconds pass

“Hey, Childe…?” The young man lifted his head towards you. “Do you mind if I call you by your real name, just while we’re here?”

“Of course, your Grace!” Ajax said with glee

“You can call me (y/n) since I’m using your real name.”

“Okay, (y/n).” The way your name rolled off his tongue made him super giddy, all the while Lumine and Paimon watched in mild discomfort. After the initial feeling of exhilaration has subsided, Ajax quickly composed himself. “Is there anything on your mind, (y/n)?” He asked gleefully towards the end at the privilege of getting to say your name

“Do any of you think my plan of taking my doppelganger off the throne would be possible?”

“Of course I do!” Lumine and Ajax said in unison

“Do you mean that as a devoted acolyte or as just you.” You turned towards Childe, a look of earness on your face. “ As Childe of the fatui harbingers or as Ajax?” You turned your attention towards Lumine. “And as the Traveler, the hero renowned all over Teyvat or as Lumine who traversed the stars with her brother?”

The two were left stunned, Ajax opened his mouth but no words came out while Lumine turned her gaze away from you

“I don’t know if I can really beat them. One day I’m just some ordinary person and the next, I’m in this world labeled as an imposter but I’m actually this divine Creator.” You looked towards the hole in the ice to avoid the gazes of your company. “I’ve never been too notable back home, but all of you call me ‘your Grace’ and hold me in high regard. I don’t feel that and sometimes….” Tears start to well up your eyes. “Sometimes I even wonder if you guys are just going along with my plan because you’re all afraid of hurting my feeli-”

“That’s not true!” You snap your head to face Ajax who got up from his seat. “Even though you’ve been reincarnated in a human body, everyone who knows of your presence believes you can achieve this goal. If her majesty had any doubt on then she wouldn’t hesitate to tell you!” Ajax sat back down on the stool. “I believe in you as Childe, the 11th Harbinger and as Ajax, the guy from that small village.”

“I agree with Ajax. Even though I’m claimed to have done massive feats, I wouldn’t have done them without you guidance. My battles against Stormterror, Osial, and the Shogun they all wouldn’t possible without you right by me.”

“Thanks guys,” You took your hook out of the water and set the fishing rod next to you. “Ice fishing is kinda boring, ya’ll wanna have a snowball fight?”

Lumine and Ajax share a look between themselves before turning their attention back towards you and nodding with smiles on their faces

─────────── ✧ ───────────

On the other side of the world, in the nation of contracts, Liyue. Here is where most if not all of the nations’ leaders are temporarily residing due to the order of their “Creator.”

The streets don’t hold the same sense of peace and liveliness it once held, now replaced by animosity and tension so thick one can nearly choke just by breathing. It isn’t any better at the Yujing Terrace, where the world leaders constantly discuss their next corse of action and the same place Al haitham dreads going

On one hand he is grateful that he’s not responsible for the work that comes with being the Acting Grand Sage, but this isn’t exactly what he was expecting

“Good morning, would like some coffee?” Jean asked as she held out a paper cup with its contents producing steam

“Thank you.” He said while taking the cup and drinking from it

“How are you liking your stay at Liyue?”

“It’s alright, I took the chance to pick up some books that typically don’t reach the Akademya.”

“You like to read, me too! Normally I don’t get to read because of my work schedule, but I digress. What genres do you read?”

“Mainly science, philosophy, and…” A noise takes Al haitham out of his line of thought

“Is something wrong?” Jean asked worriedly

It’s whistling

Al haitham walked towards the direction where the sound comes and sees the Natlan priestess with a bird perched upon her finger

“Chimalma, good morning!” Jean greeted

“Morning to you, Jean!” The priestess waved

So Chimalma was her name, Al haitham probably heard her name before but didn’t bother to remember it

“I didn’t expect for you to talk to birds.”

“Hummingbirds are said to be the souls of fallen soldiers, it would be absurd that the priestess of Natlan to not be able to speak to the late warriors, no?” Chimalma scoffed with a playful glint in her eyes

“No, I didn’t mean anything-” Jean tried to stammer out an apology

“I joking, you really need to lighten up.” Chimalma waved her hand dismissively

“I heard the language of birds is something their Grace and only people they chose are able to understand it.” A short woman with blue hair and horns commented as she walk up the stairs

“Spot on! As one would expect from one of Rex Lapis’ adepti~” Chimalma sang which made the qilin turn her head away from the feline hybrid

“If you can indeed talk to birds, then we can use that to our advantage in capturing the imposter.” The tengu general from Inazuma proclaimed as she entered with the Yashiro Commissioner sally of whom Al haitham couldn’t be bothered to learn their names

For a second Chimalma’s eye twitched and a slight hint of malevolence can be seen but soon returned to their usual easygoing gleam. All of which didn’t go unnoticed by the acting Grand Sage and apparently the Yashiro Commissioner caught the slip up

“It seems that everyone is here so we can start attending to matters,” The voice of the Tinaquan brought everyone’s attention towards her. “are there any concerns one would like to bring to our attention before we start with today’s proceedings?”

“I would like to bring up a question,” The young clan head raised his hand. “is Snezhnaya going to be joining us? I don’t recall seeing a representative in our meeting with their Grace.”

“Despite the numerous attempts to get their involvement, they refused each instance.”

“Would it be possible to think, they’re harboring this imposter.” Everyone’s attention quickly turned towards Al haitham, each face containing certain level of surprise. Wether it being what the former scribe said or the fact that he even spoke at all. “Not too long ago they tried to construct a god that would replace Lord Kusanali, so it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for them to be hiding the imposter in hopes of using them to their advantage.”

An unsettling silence hung over the envoys as the realization of the words fully took root in each of the leader’s minds

“That’s absurd! You don’t think they’re foolish enough to try that…? To try and use a world ending entity to replace their Grace, right?” The horned Adeptus worried

There was a moment of silence until the Tinaquan cleared her throat

“If your assertion is true, then we need to mobilize our forces as soon as possible.” She declared, her eyes showing a flame burning within them

─────────── ✧ ───��───────

Completely unaware of the arrangements being made, you throw the snowball without a care in the world. The same carefreeness you once had before being labeled as an imposter and hunted like an animal

You watch the snowball fly through the air and break apart once it missed Childe and made contact with a tree trunk. That was the nth snowball you threw he dodged with no effort, but it looked like Lumine was having an easier time getting the snowballs to hit the ginger. You shouldn’t feel too bad, things could be worse. You could be doing just as bad as Paimon desperately flying out the way of snowballs but still getting hit by a good chunk of them

“Your Grace, there you are.” A familiar voice greets you

You look back to see a pair of golden orbs starring back at you

“Aether, how did you find me?”

“I followed your aura when I didn’t sense you in the palace.”

“The spell wears off? Damn that’s really inconvenient.”

“I can cast it on you, again. If it’s for you, I don’t mind being inconve-” A snowball hits Aether square in the face. “Lumine!” Aether yelled

“You didn’t specify you weren’t in the fight, so I didn’t know.”

“Bullshit!!!”

Aether held out his hand and a clump of snow appears in it. As he gets ready to throw the snow ball Lumine tries to run out of its potential line of sight

“Wait! That’s not fair! You can’t use elemental pow-” The blonde tried to shout but was hit in the face

Lumine wipes the snow off her face and starts to grab a large chunk of snow from the ground and packed it into a ball. Aether shield you from Lumine’s and Ajax’s line of sight

“My sister is scary when she’s angry, don’t worry I’ll protect you, your Grace.” The normally cold prince told with an uncharacteristic smile on his face

“No fair, I wanna be on (y/n)’s side-” Ajax whined but got hit in the face by a snowball

“How dare you utter their Grace’s name so casually!”

Lumine and Ajax looked at each other and seemed to have reached a sort of truce. The two grab snowballs in each hand, getting ready to throw them

“H-hol up. Go easy on me!” You pleaded

They did go easy on you, Aether not so much. A barrage of snowballs were thrown at him mercilessly, but he managed to dodge a good portion of them and got an equal amount of his snowballs hitting them

You tried to throw a couple of snowballs but they always ended up missing their target and so you just decided to sit back and watch them. They didn’t notice when you sat on the sidelines, but you didn’t mind you had just as much fun watching them. Time seemed to have gotten away from all of you because the next thing you knew you realized how dark it was

“Uhh timeout guys…” You yelled clear enough for the others to seize their attack. “it’s getting pretty dark out here, we should start heading back.”

The cheerful expression on Ajax’s face dropped into one of realization and horror

“Shit! We need to find shelter fast!”

“What, why?!” You asked fear quickly sinking in

“There’s a cave over there!” Lumine said as she pointed towards its opening

Ajax picked you up and ran into the cave, he stopped once he no longer felt the harsh winds from the outside

“Are you ok?” He asked, making you look at his face, which you were in close proximity. Did he always look this pretty? Or was it that because he’s in front of you and you can see details in face that couldn’t be captured in a series of polygons?!?!

“Ye-yeah, I’m fine,” You said with your gaze adverted. “can you put me down now?”

He immediately does and a smirk graces his pretty boy face

“What are you smirking at?” You asked dreading his response will make your face heat up even more

“You know my offer still stands. The one I gave when we bumped into each other in the forest of Sumeru, us having s-” The ends of the red scarf around his neck fly into Ajax’s face and the two of you turn to see the twins grimacing as anemo particles dissipate by Aether

“Can you not try to get your dick wet for two seconds?” Aether chastises

Ajax yanks the scarf out of his face. “You’re just jealous of the effect I have on (y/n), they can’t help that they find me attractive.”

“You nearly put their Grace in danger and now trying to make a move on them while saying their name so casually, don’t you have no shame!”

“Don’t blame me, you could’ve noticed the sun setting but didn’t so act like you’re any better then me!”

Aether retorts something back but you didn’t catch it due to your attention being brought to something else. It seemed that Lumine took notice on your spaced out look

“Is something the matter?” She asked

“I just feel something pulling me towards it…” Was all you responded with

The pull got more intense the longer you stayed, immediately turning your body you begin walking further into the cave. Lumine and Ajax followed you and tried to convince you to sit back in your seat near the fire, or that is what you think they’re saying to you. Your only focus is on finding out what is pulling you deeper into the cave

You stopped at the dead end and you stared at the wall in awe of what you see. A Primogem embedded into the wall

“(Y/n), we should really be heading back. You’ll get sick if you’re not near the fire.” Ajax tried to persuade you

You turned towards your companions. “Wait! You don’t see that?!”

“I don’t see anything.” Ajax admitted

“You don’t see anything?!”

Ajax shook his head leading you to turn towards the twins

“Lum, Ae, please tell me that you see what I’m talking about.”

They only shook her head, you could see a slight blush on their faces, most likely due to the nickname you gave them. You weren’t in the mood to fawn over how adorable they both looked, you groaned in frustration and went to where the rock was embedded. Seeing the glowing stone, hesitation stopped you from touching it but pushed it aside, you reached out for it and pulled it out. The gem began to glow brighter in your hand as if it had been brought to where it belongs

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Taglist:

@chuuya-brainrot @creation-magician @transbirbboi @tartarsaucechi1de @vvyeislazzy @kokomisimpppp @aludicpoet @undecidingfate @annoying-mary @randomnatics @ventixthexanemoxarchon @bore2808 @lizzhearthz @bidisasterforevermore @dxprived4-starboys @angstylittleb1tch @esthelily @yurivision @angelamelamela @d4y-dr3am3r @blackcoffex @not-the-shroom @raffaelo4ka @rebeccawinters @artwitchh @kaveh-is-pretty @imyme20 @nymphsdomain @sun7lowxr @itz-luna @flowerypesky

Taglist is still open

[mossy-paws]

biograft oc’s! (Phighting!)

WOOHOO!!!! Here r my two biograft oc’s! Their names are Mossgraft and Wall-E and I love them both very much!

Here’s some copy/pasted lore from a discord server I’m in as well!

Also dropping this here real quick: Mossgraft lore time woohoo!!

Mossgraft doesn’t have an overheat or self destruct for a phinisher, actually, mossgraft is really cold to the touch, they need really cold air and or a cold environment as a way to store/create their toxin, since it requires very low temperatures for storage. (It’s pretty much like a freezer and or fridge on the inside).

Moss-graft’s phinisher is actually their tail spike, it holds a deadly neurotoxin that severely slows down and eventually kills their enemies, they can use this up to 3 times before having to have a cooldown.

Mossgraft is a failed beta graft prototype, it failed because it was already highly sentient due to a code mishap, and it was already teetering on war crimes with the toxin, it also doesn’t have a strong urge to fight.. at all, if anything it would just kind of stand there during training bored and not giving a shit, in short is was way too docile to be given a chance at being mass produced.

It’s horns are made out of bulletproof glass, they act as extra storage for the toxin.

mossgraft sadly does not purr.

Mossgraft is selective mute.

it accidentally ended up saving it, mossgraft didn’t really even realize it at the time until the really torn up looking biograft just started to follow it around, mossgraft may be somewhat annoyed with its presence but it really just doesn’t care enough to do anything about it.

Wall-E is a failed biograft prototype that’s really close to the mass produced one, it’s just a lot smaller and weaker and was used as more of a tester, there are 3 other known biograft prototypes like it.

Wall-E is slowly gaining sentience due to the severe injuries it got, it doesn’t remember that subspace is it’s creator and views mossgraft as more of a parental figure if anything.

it’s missing both its right arm and it’s tail, both of which are mainly just a mass of broken wires and such.

Wall-E does purr, a lot actually, it’s has multiple different types of purrs too, a vrrrr sound is usually associated with comfort and or happiness and a rrrrrrrrrrrvvv sound is mainly associated with anger or frustration.

it’s a lot smaller then an average biograft is.

it’s voiceclaim is WALL-E because I said so.

Enjoy the lore bits!! Feel free to ask questions and stuff! I’ll try to respond to everything!

here are the non-chromic versions as well! ^^

[financeprincess]

It is so inspiring hearing about your weight loss :) i was wondering if you had any particular weight loss tips you’d like to share? I went through a period of weight loss myself, but have lately gained back a lot of what I’ve lost and I’d like to know if there’s anything that helped you get back on the wagon. Love your blog btw!

Don’t be too hard on yourself, its rough out here especially in the US. it’s easy to accidentally slip up and gain 15 pounds just by eating a lil extra every day.

Some things that helped me:

Intermittent fasting, only a 13 hour window though. The 16:8 was too much for me and with women it can screw with your hormones if you’re not careful.

Drinking lots of water. Like a ton. I put those hydration multiplier electrolyte packets in my water as well.

Get good quality sleep. I got some Brooklinen sheets and they are 100% worth it. Definitely improved my sleep quality. I also have a really nice down duvet and an Egyptian cotton cover for it. I also have a silk eye mask and a silk pillowcase from Slip that I love. Sleep is extremely important.

Get 10k steps a day or at least just walk as much as you can. I’m sedentary a lot for school/work/etc. so I absolutely have to get out and walk and get moving. Even if you just aim for a mile or two a day it’ll greatly help.

If you don’t want to lift weights that’s okay. It’s not for everyone. I used to be super into powerlifting and got pretty muscular but it doesn’t excite me like it used to. I do a mix now of walking, jogging, pilates, rollerblading, cycling, kickboxing, swimming, yoga, ice skating, and weightlifting. That way I’m never bored and the variety allows me to choose what I want to do.

Consistency is key. Doing 4 workouts a week at a light/medium intensity is better than doing 1-2 a week of super high intensity and burning yourself out. Every little bit helps.

I do a full body stretch every day. This is super important. Our bodies get so stiff during the day. If you don’t stretch this can lead to injuries when you try to do other things.

I love the sauna (and hot yoga too). If you can find and afford a gym that has a sauna, I would highly recommend. Sometimes I will just go and walk on the treadmill for 30-45 minutes and watch YouTube videos and then sit in the sauna. It’s the best.

Make sure you’re not deficient in anything. Take a complete multivitamin and get blood work done. I was severely deficient in vitamin D and it was making me depressed. Once I took a supplement, got more sun and got my levels up it really helped my overall health.

Cut out grains, sugar, junk food, fried foods, etc. and just eat real foods. Anything with a long ingredient list usually isn’t a good idea. It’ll take a minute to get used to it but once you start eating almost exclusively vegetables, fruits, proteins, and healthy fats you won’t miss it. I have such a big sweet tooth sometimes I’ll have to eat like five servings of berries with a few tablespoons of honey just to satisfy it, but that’s better than ice cream or candy any day.

Don’t deprive or starve yourself. I eat as healthy as I can manage 80-90% of the time. But every once and a while I will eat a huge plate of pasta, gelato, tiramisu, croissants, those types of foods that I love. It’s not helpful to punish yourself and you gotta live a little.

I got a smart scale in my bathroom, the one I got is from FitIndex. It has an app that connects to your phone and it syncs to other health apps. it shows you body fat, muscle mass, water weight, everything. Honestly super triggering at first because I felt called out lol but now I step on it once a week just to make sure I’m on the right track.

You do not need a gym membership to workout. YouTube is the best. I love Yoga with Adrienne, MadFit, Move with Nicole, Charlie Follows, Vicky Justiz, and there’s a bunch of others. Find what you like and try to stick with it as much as you can.

Rest is super important. Don’t run yourself ragged. If you’re sore don’t force yourself to workout.

MyFitnessPal is super helpful. If you have a history of disordered eating this might not be for you but it’s good to be conscious of what you’re eating. Figure out what you need to lose fat/maintain/gain muscle and then track to see where you’re at and adjust accordingly.

Eat more protein. Protein, healthy fats, and fiber keep you full. You will be starving if you eat only salads. Fruit smoothies with protein, protein oats, salmon, yogurt, eggs, etc.

Get cute workout gear. It makes it more fun for me to workout with my pink towels, my pink hydroflask, my lululemon yoga mat, I have a baby blue jumprope and pink dumbbells and pastel colored resistance bands for at home workouts. A lot of my workout clothes are from lululemon, alo yoga, free people, and aerie. I have some of those blender bottles in cute colors for preworkout, protein powder, super greens powder, electrolyte mixes, etc. Some of this stuff is pricy but I’d rather be investing in my health than paying medical bills down the road so it’s 100% worth it to me.

The only way to see permanent change is to make it a lifestyle. Unfortunately you can’t just go back to eating unhealthy foods once you hit a certain goal. Those models who say they live exclusively off of pizza and pasta and cheeseburgers are lying through their teeth. It’s perfectly healthy to have days off where you indulge or don’t exercise but most of the time you’ll have to find ways to eat healthy and exercise and prioritize your health.

[average-limbus-fan]

Pt3 of Limbus Speed Dating?

Yi Sang

After your odd flower shop “date” with Faust you were given your usual few hours of respite before Charon came to collect you for the second daily sinner draw. The remaining half of the sinners had finally seemed to become more relaxed after seeing the examples those before them had set. Charon then once again plucked a name from her hat and promptly called for Yi Sang to come to the front which he did silently. “Well it looks like you’re up” you said trying to motivate him somewhat, he however remained blank faced. “So… I am to take you to an appropriate location for a date I presume” he asked, “well we can really just go anywhere you’d like it doesn’t have to be anywhere specific” you responded quickly. “I see…” he trailed off as he walked off the bus with you in tow. You followed him to a large building, it seemed to be an art museum of sorts. After he had payed for your tickets he then walked back over to you to interlock his arm with yours before leading you inside. Yi Sang had continued to remain silent for most of the “date” while the two of you wandered around the museum looking at the different pieces they had on display, you had noticed however that he had taken a few short glances at you multiple times, you suppose he was trying to gauge your interest in his chosen location. “It seems there aren’t many museums in this city” you said trying to start up some sort of conversation with your “date”. “Yes… this was one of the few I could find on the map Charon gave out” it seemed he had given some thought to your expected time together, he gave a faint smile at your realization. The rest of your time at the museum together was spent in complete silence, however Yi Sang had seemed to become a bit happier although he hid it well. As you two exited and prepared to head in the direction of the bus he stopped you and handed you a small clock charm, “I found it at a pawn shop… I hope you don’t mind… it probably isn’t as extravagant as the other gifts you’ve received…” he trailed off again but you interrupted “no no it’s lovely” you reassured him drawing a faint smile out of him once again. You returned to your quarters to add the charm to your ever growing collection of gifts, thankfully none of the sinners had gotten you anything too ridiculous which was an unexpected surprise, save for Outis of course, …but alas you still had 5 more sinners to go which left a lot of room for something to go terribly wrong… as per usual.

Ryoshu

You awoke the next morning to find that you’re thoughts had sadly been correct, as Ryoshu stood outside your door with a piece of paper in her hands “I got tired of waiting, time to get this over with” she said, causing you to start sweating as she led you back to her room. She had laid out some cooking ingredients… and a large assortment of knives, you considered running out while you still had the chance as you thought back to her “cooking” a while ago during her cookoff with Gregor, …you could still taste the bile in your mouth. How many times would she stab you if you tried to run… you thought to yourself, you knew she wouldn’t kill you but she certainly wouldn’t have any qualms about putting a few non-lethal holes in you either, so you reluctantly stood your ground. A decision you immediately regretted as she started cooking with what looked to be whale oil… if that stuff killed you would Vergilius or the sinners even be able to find your body… your anxiety ridden thoughts continued to distract you until Ryoshu unceremoniously dropped a plate in front you with a bored expression. The plate had a black mass on it… it seemed to be completely charred and reeked of burnt meat. You had no idea if it was even safe for consumption but Ryoshu’s icy glare forced you to reluctantly take a bite… you had to force down the urge to vomit as Ryoshu continued to stare coldly, you did your best to give her a thumbs up as you couldn’t bare to open your mouth. She smirked cruelly at you before packing the leftovers and telling you to scram, an order you happily followed as you grabbed the box and ran back towards your room where you barely managed to reach your bathroom in time to regurgitate the contents of your stomach. The questionable “leftovers” would then be promptly thrown into a toxic waste bin.

Don Quixote

With your stomach still reeling from it’s torturous “meal” earlier in the day you reluctantly made your way to the front of the bus where Charon handed you a piece of paper with directions, it seems your sinner was already waiting for you at a planned destination. Vergilius however was nowhere to be found… you hadn’t seen Hong Lu or Ryoshu in the past few hours either… well best not to think about it you concluded as you left the bus and did your best to navigate your way around the city. Luckily the blinding lights of the carnival weren’t too hard to spot in the darkness of the night, nor was the lumpy figure approaching you, upon closer inspection it seemed to be a pile of plushies moving on two stubby legs, “BEHOLD MANAGER-ESQUIRE THE SPOILS OF MY VICTORIES” a loud voice proudly proclaimed before the pile of plushies was promptly dumped onto you. As you looked over your newly acquired collection you were finally able to see the beaming short haired blond in front you. She then grabbed your arm and rushed towards the entrance of the carnival “Come now manager-esquire we mustn’t waste any of our time together” she said excitedly as you were pulled along with her. As you looked up towards the carnival rides your stomach turned once again still in shock from your “breakfast” in the morning and you silently prayed that Don wouldn’t take an interest in them. Thankfully she seemed more intrigued by the carnival games although it seems she had already won at quite a few… “Worry not manager-esquire for I shall double thou’s boon before the night ends” she said before making her way over to a water gun game stand. Oh dear… you thought to yourself as you tried to find something to carry around all the plushies you had been gifted. After purchasing a wheeled cart you quickly to returned to find Don with another pile of plushies which she then dropped into your newly acquired cart… thankfully you had planned ahead and gotten a larger one just in case. You then spent the rest of night running after Don and pulling an ever heavier growing cart, with the night finally coming to a close when the two of you stopped at a churros stand where you watched Don eat as you still couldn’t bare to stomach any food. “Aww how hast the time past so quickly” she said sadly, “we see each other everyday…” you trailed off but Don still seemed teary eyed as you comforted her while leading her back to the bus. You moved aside the slightly wilted bouquets and portraits of yourself to make room for your newly acquired plushie collection, your quarters seemed more lively then ever.

[somefanchick]

-Deuce’s Winter Break-

(This story is from Deuce's perspective during the events of book four. I only know information from the English server story and events so sorry if anything is terribly out of character. This fic is platonic and is cannon for my female Yuu-sona, but I do just call them Yuu in the story. Yuu uses she/her pronouns. Hope you enjoy! Ps. There is a little bit of cussing. Found the pictures in a post by @ naruryun, they are not mine.)

“We should trade Magicam IDs now that you've got a smartphone,” Ace pulled out his phone and began typing out Yuu’s account in the search bar, “Y'know, in case something comes up.”

I smiled as I pulled up the app on my own phone, “Oh, good idea. I'll share mine, too.”

Yuu’s ID was a play on the fact that the headmaster called her “Beast Master” after we got back from the dwarf’s mine. I could always tell she was secretly proud of that title. 

Ace finished adding her, “Feel free to hit me up if you get bored over winter break.”

She smirked, which was her form of a smile, “Thanks, I'll do that.”

“Man, you take everything I say so seriously Yuu,” Ace chuckled, “I was joking.”

I glared, “Then it was a lame one,” I then turned to smile at Yuu as I added her, “Anyway, feel free to reach out if you need anything at all,” I quickly tucked my phone in my pocket and grabbed my bag, “My mom's probably waiting on me, so I'd better go,” I began walking towards the Dark Mirror, “Happy holidays guys.”

I could hear Ace behind me, “Yeah, I'll do the same. See you next year!” I could hear him running to catch up with me, but I was already whispering the name of my street and stepping into the murky abyss.

It was hard to see my mom among the other kids meeting their families. Children cheering as their older siblings came home from their schools, parents hugging their grown babies and fussing over their bags of laundry, and the students basking in the attention that coming home brings. 

I looked through the crowd and found my mom. My grandmother always said I was the spitting image of her. She had straight, navy blue hair cut into a bob, blonde streaks weaving into a larger mass of hair.  Her eyes looked gray in the afternoon sun, but I knew they were really cyan. 

She caught my eye and lit up, “Deuce!”

I ran over to save her the trouble, “Hey Mom.”

“Let me get a look at you,” Mom gently grabbed my face and moved me around, “I can barely believe that’s my son.”

I pulled back and put my hand behind my neck, “I guess I’ve changed a bit since I left.”

She smiled, “You have no idea how proud I am of you.”

I flushed under her gaze, “Let’s head on home.”

She giggled, “As long as you tell me all about school.”

I gathered my bag under my arm, “Fine.”

Home was the same as it had been when I left. A small apartment with blankets piled on every chair and letters piled on the kitchen counter. I set my bag in my room and then moved to the kitchen, where Mom had begun fixing dinner.

“I’m making folded egg sandwiches,” Mom had her back turned to me, “Is that alright?”

“Yeah,” I sat down at the dining table, “So what do you want to know?”

“Everything,” Mom moved to the stove, “I haven’t heard anything from your teachers.”

“Well I’m doing okay in class, but that might just be because Trey, Riddle, and Yuu help me out.”

“Who are they?”

“Well, Trey and Riddle are in Heartslabyul with me. Trey’s the vice-housewarden and he’s like the dorm mother hen. He’s done most of the tutoring, but Riddle helps him sometimes. Riddle’s the housewarden and he’s ridiculously strict.”

“Oh really?” Mom started grating cheese, “And who’s this Yuu person?”

“Yuu is one of my-” I tried to think of the right word. Our group never calls ourselves ‘friends’, but that seems to be the only word to describe how we are. Yuu calls us “Dumbass Beasts”, but I don’t want to tell my Mom that.

“She’s one of my best friends.”

I could hear Mom’s eyebrow raise, “‘She’? Isn’t Night Raven an All Boys school?”

“That surprised me too, but Yuu’s an exception to a lot of rules,” My phone vibrated with a message, I spoke as I went to pull it up, “She doesn’t have magic, she’s only half a student, and she isn’t even from this world.”

Mom grabbed the bread from the breadbox, “I’m going to need you to explain all of that.”

“I wish I could.”

The message was from Yuu; Cater has been tagging me in his old photos for the past two hours. How did he even know I got a Magicam account? I couldn’t help but laugh. 

Mom scooped the folded eggs onto the bread, “At least explain the ‘half a student’ comment.”

“Well,” I sat my phone back on the table, “Since Yuu doesn’t have magic she and this monster named Grim share a single enrollment. But Yuu’s in charge of him since she’s the Ramshackle dorm prefect.”

“Ah,” Mom set the plate down in front of me, “Is that all your friends?”

“Nah, I’m friends with Ace too,” I got up to get something to drink, “He’s one of my roommates.”

“Ace Trappola?” Mom began making her own egg sandwich, “I think his father works at your grandfather’s company.”

I poured a glass of orange juice and made my way back to the table, “The four of us have done a lot in one semester.”

“Like what?”

“Well Ace and I challenged Riddle for his title.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” I took a sip of my juice, “Ace got in trouble for eating Riddle’s tart and then it became a huge deal. Riddle ended up overbloting.”

I swear Mom’s eyes bulged out of her head, “Overblot!?”

“Yeah. Yuu led all of us into battle to keep the other student’s safe and to keep Riddle from destroying himself. But that was only the first overblot.”

“The first?”

“Yeah don’t worry about it,” I took a large bite of my sandwich, “Yuu always has it under control. Even if she’s just directing us. It’s amazing.”

Mom sat down next to me, “Do you have a picture of your friends?”

I picked up my phone, “Not unless you count pictures Cater took while we weren’t expecting it. And then posted on Magicam with a dozen hashtags.”

“Maybe you could ask Yuu and Grim for a picture? I’d love to see them.”

“Sure,” I opened up Yuu’s message, “It’s not like they have much else to do at school.”

“At school? Did they not go somewhere for winter break?”

“They didn’t have anywhere to go.”

Mom set down her food, “Invite them to come here in spring. I’d be happy to host them.”

I chuckled, “Alright,” I texted Yuu; Hey my mom wants to see a pic of you and Grim. Mind sending one?

It took a moment for Yuu to respond; Yeah sure. Just let me get the weasel.

I set my phone down, “She’s gonna send a picture of her and Grim.” 

“How sweet,” Mom took the moment to begin eating. 

Our conversation dissolved into specific stories and the basics of our lives apart. It was weird how I felt so at home, while only feeling like a guest in the apartment. My Mom gushed and worried in waves as I talked about the Spelldrive tournament and the final exams. It was sweet to see her so happy about my actions. About who I was. I had given her a son to be proud of.

I spent the next day with my mom, meeting with other family and shopping for the holidays. But that night my phone lit up with a message from Yuu; Trapped in Scarabia, I’ll explain later. 

I was up all night, waiting for my phone to buzz again, but the only notification I got was Ace messaging me to ask if I had heard anything else from Yuu.

Eight AM came around and I chugged two cups of coffee before heading out on a walk to keep my mind off of Yuu’s vague and semi-terrifying message. 

“Hey Deuce!” I froze in my tracks, turning to see my old ‘pal’ Hatter, his lackey Coney trailing behind. 

Hatter was the leader of the delinquents I hung out with in middle school. He called me his equal until I went straight. His appearance hadn’t changed; hair bleached a platinum blonde, green eyes that constantly had a crazed look as they dashed from victim to victim, a trailing black jacket with copper buttons, and of course his iconic evergreen tophat with the price tag sticking out the brim. 

Coney matched the jacket, but he had his own brand of insane to portray. His hair was bleached to a honey blonde and his brown rabbit ears stuck out of his head with copper piercings along every furry edge. His black eyes always seemed to be watching Hatter, as if he was waiting for the signal to attack. 

“How have you been, man?” Hatter wrapped his arm around my shoulder as if we had only been apart for a week or so, “Coney here was just saying how much he missed seeing you on that blastcycle of yours. Right Coney?”

Coney nodded like his life depended on it, “Yes! Yes!”

“Look guys,” I made an effort to move out of their reach, “I’m not-”

“Aw,” Coney stopped nodding, “Are you not fun anymore?”

“What?”

“Sounds like you hit the bullseye Coney,” Hatter began messing with his brim, a signal to change their approach, “I guess you were serious about that ‘going straight’ thing.”

“I am,” I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, “And I have to go.”

“Go?” Hatter came closer, backing me into an alleyway, “But we just reunited!”

“I’m not like you guys anymore,” my hand gripped my phone in my pocket, praying that it would buzz again, “I have friends who need me right now.”

Coney’s hand drifted towards a bright blue dumpster, “You think you're better than us?”

“No way mate,” Hatter smirked and whipped his own magic pen out, “Tea Party!” My arms went flying up, my phone and other valuables making a mad dash for Hatter’s and Coney’s open hands. Hatter caught my phone and looked at the message, “This ‘Ace’ fella is.”

My heart sank, the message wasn’t from Yuu.

Coney looked over, “Oh what’s this? You and this ‘Ace’ are talking about a girl?”

“What did he say?”

Hatter smirked, “Oh? So this ‘going straight’ thing is for the eye of some lovely lady. I’m hurt.”

“No,” I marched forward and grabbed my wallet from Coney’s hand, “I’m becoming a better person for myself. I want to be an honor’s student and I’m doing a damn good job. Yuu is just a friend.”

“Sure,” Hatter rolled his eyes, “I’ll believe that,” he changed his voice to mock mine, “‘Look at me, giving up my freedom for some stupid dream of being an honor’s student.’ No way. You’re not built for that Deuce.”

My phone buzzed in his hand.

“I used to respect you Spade,” He put my phone in the ribbon of his tophat, taunting me, “Now look at you. You’re a fucking chump.”

My phone buzzed again. Something inside of me snapped like a dry twig. I could feel my body heat from the inside out, old mussels returning to their place. I didn’t reach for my pen. I just punched the bastard.

Hatter went flying back into the wall, clearly expecting to have to taunt me longer before I took action. Coney didn’t hesitate to pounce on me, knocking me to the ground under him. He fired off punch after punch, leaving the taste of blood on my lips. I kicked him off and into Hatter, aiming to get my phone back. I had to see if it was Yuu. 

It all turned into a blurr. A barrage of fists coming from all directions. All I focused on was Hatter’s stupid tophat.

I got the phone back and backed away. No one followed me.

All of the messages were from Ace.

Yuu hasn’t explained. What does her text even mean?

Should we go back and check on her?

I’m going. I don’t know what’s happening but it sounds like trouble. Meet me at the bus stop in town in two hours if you’re joining me.

I cleaned off in a park restroom before running home to pack a duffel bag. Mom was immediately understanding and packed me a few sandwiches for Ace and me. She smiled and reminded me that Yuu was welcome to come back with me, as well as telling me to text her when I was coming back. I nodded and gave her a hug before running out the door.

The two hours were up and I met with Ace at the bus stop.

Ace was pacing, waiting for the noon bus, “Who just messages that they’ve been kidnaped and then doesn’t respond for twelve hours!? Yuu’s going to be the death of us.”

“Calm down,” I hid my own anxieties, “This is Yuu we’re talking about. If anyone can handle being ‘trapped’, it’s her. Plus, Grim should be with her.”

“You say that like that’s a good thing.”

“Fair enough,” I kept going, “But despite the fact that it’s Grim, he can still fire off spells. Plus he’s pretty good with fire magic. Maybe we’ll arrive to see Scarabia in blue flames.”

“Again, you say that like that’s a good thing.”

“It’s the best thing I can think of.”

The PA system cracked to life, “Bus to Night Raven terminal is now boarding on platform three.”

“Come on,” I grabbed my bags and began walking, “Our friend needs us.”

[stormikins]

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag

tagged by @nowandthane thank you!! Warning I ramble a bit in this lol

I am a fan since: 2017, I got it for Christmas in 2016 so I always just say '17

Favorite Game of the series: By virtue of simply replaying it the most, three. I really love the combat in it so I've played it near thirty times? But all time fave would have to 1 because of the aesthetic, tone, and story. There's something about first discovering a world which is what me1 is about.

MShep or Femshep? Gotta go with Femshep. I have played both, its just hard to capture the male shepard image I have in my head in the character creator so Femshep it is.

Earthborn, Colonist, or Spacer: earthborn! My main Shepard Jenn is earthborn so that's what I'm going with. Though, I have numerous Shepard's are various background combinations. I have feelings about each background trust me

Biotics or tech: Both! Though I really do love biotics, you can do some cool stuff with them, setting up and detonating both biotic and tech explosions.

Paragon or Renegade: I have to repeat what nowandthane said, paragon choices, renegade dialogue.

Favorite Class: Sentinel. I love the versatility of the class, but I do have an affection for Infiltrator because that's what got me through me2 on insanity.

Favorite Companion: Tali. By story value, Javik. He's like one of the most important characters

Least Favorite Companion: Javik, throw your attitude out the airlock. IM JOKING! (he has every reason to be like he is. I love him very much) Liara is my answer though only because I don't like some of the story choices the devs did with her. (ex: why does she have Shepard's armor in a display case when i didn't even romance her??? I can't mention this at all??)

My squad selection: For Jenn's playthrough: Wrex/Tali in me1. Garrus/Mordin/Miranda generally in me2. Thane and Miranda/Samara for the collector base. Kaidan/Javik/James in me3. Of course, I mix it up based on story aspects and the difficulty settings. But me3 is pretty fixed bc I always play on insanity.

Favorite in-game Romance: Tali and Garrus. I'm a sucker for awkward, wet cat of a man like Garrus is. But Tali's romance man.... her parting line to Shepard during the beam run "I have a home" makes me insane actually

Other pairings I like: Obligatory Nihlus/Shepard/Kal (and the duos within in this throuple) mention here. Other than that, Joker/Miranda and Joker/James, Ashley/Garrus, and Shepard/Wrex, I could list a whole lot so I'll keep it to those ships lol

Favorite NPC: Nihlus and Kal'Reegar for sure. Victus and of course Niftu Cal our favorite biotic god.

Favorite Antagonist: Saren. He's the best one that we get in all three games (Harby could have been number one if they did anything with him in three but that's a rant for another time lmao)

Favorite Mission: Haestrom/Tali's Loyalty mission because that's when I get to see Kal <3 and blow up a colossus with the Cain. Also, the Collector Ship mission I have to mention because it's frankly the only mission besides the two previously stated where I've loaded up the save to play it on insanity when I'm bored. It's fun. Of course, this is with the Infiltrator.

Favorite Loyalty Mission: Tali for numerous reasons. Kal mention here. But I love the insight into Quarian culture we get. Also we see that fire in her when she's talking to the Board which I always appreciate. Along with her dialogue at the end, "I got better, Shepard. I got you." and then on the ship afterwards, "I don't think life is about what we deserve." I love her so much.

Favorite DLC: Leviathan. Only because of the horror aspect.

Control, Sythesis, or Destroy? Destroy. I have so many issues with the ending and that's the least worst option in my opinion so. (I too ignore that it wipes out the Geth and Edi fuck that)

Favorite Weapon: The M-90 Cain or the M-99 Saber aka the "Big Iron". Lancer in three was my favorite weapon before I found the Saber. Special mention to my bud the Mattock, I have been convinced of its glory. I do not think the Harrier is better anymore lol which my brother would be happy to hear

Favorite Place: me1 Citadel my BELOVED.

A quote I like Quotes I Like: The ENTIRETY of Sovereign's dialogue on Virmire GOD ITS SO GOOD!!!! / "Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer." / "Does this unit have a soul?" / "Just followed your example, Shepard. Yell loud enough and eventually someone will come over to see what all the fuss is about." / "I won't let fear compromise who I am." / "I MADE A MISTAKE!" / "Help me out here, Shepard. The line between friend and foe is getting a little blurry from where I stand." / There are so many great quotes in these games I could go on and on but I'll stop myself

No pressure tags: @spacebunshep @jtownnn

[whinlatter]

dead ends | a remadora microfic 🏴‍☠️

for day 1 of @remadoramicrofics prompt: haunted read here or on AO3

When they meet, he's living - if you can call it at that - at Grimmauld.

‘Is it haunted, this house?’ she asks with interest, peering up the gloomy staircase at the house of her forbears before the meeting starts. Stupid question, turns out, because it’s quickly apparent it’s less the house that’s haunted than its two occupants. There’s her cousin, who’s left half his flesh and the best years of his youth on a great chunk of rock in the North Sea, and his friend, a pale crumpled grey serious man with holes in his elbow patches who introduces himself, with an apology of a handshake, as Remus.

‘How do you two know each other?’ she asks, hanging off the bannister. ‘We were school friends,’ says Remus offhandedly, with a glance at Sirius, who is busy glaring down the coffin corridor at other folks filing in with sullen teenage hands in pockets, and her brain fills in the rest: James Potter (dead), Lily Potter (dead), Peter Pettigrew (regretfully alive). Memory of the latter’s treachery hangs like a noose over that first meeting. ‘By being here tonight, you pledge loyalty to this order and to its mission, on pain of death,’ Dumbledore says ominously. For some reason, she finds herself watching the pale crumpled grey serious man as he raises his wand and commits himself to the cause, to the fight, to the prospect of his own destruction. ‘Serious business, this war lark,’ she says to him, when the meeting’s over, leaning in. He just smiles flatly back, drains his tea, and withdraws, which doesn’t piss her off so much as set her a good challenge for the next meeting to get a better smile out of him even if it kills her. 

She’s twenty three, got no real ghosts of her own yet. She knows her mother’s ghosts well enough - the sister they bump into sometimes in Diagon Alley then pretend they didn’t (Narcissa has a nasty habit of appearing in the line behind them at the bank), and the other one, rotting bonily in a cell having made her victims into husks. So she sets herself the task of learning about what’s haunting him, grey man with his soul in his hands. She asks Molly, and Kingsley, and Mad-Eye, and her cousin, who always watches the rest of them parade in and out of the house with sullen, jealous contempt. ‘What’s his deal?’ she asks Sirius, after another meeting where her attempts to make Remus laugh have won her nothing more than a wan, weary, half-hearted wince of a smile. 

‘He’s a werewolf,’ says Sirius, bored.

‘Yeah,’ she says, ‘I know that. I meant - what gets him going? What’s he into? What gets him out of bed? Has he got a wife or an… anything? Kids?’  

‘No,’ says Sirius. ‘He’s a werewolf.’

She’s not sure why everyone keeps focussing on that bit. 

There is life in the house, that summer. In fact, there's masses of it - mostly from the freckled ginger teenage people, who laugh loudly and boisterously at mealtimes and lob things at the door during meetings, demanding to be allowed to offer themselves up to line a graveyard or two. It fills her up, the buzz of it. So she tries to coax the life out of the grey man, too, get him to join in with the gossip and the games and the laughter of the children who still call him professor and plainly think the sun shines out of his arse. ‘Heard any good tunes lately?’ she asks him, at meetings, swapping through hair colours like a great flashing sign outside a club screaming notice me notice me. ‘Any good Muggle telly? Ventured out somewhere fun?’

‘Sadly not.’

‘Come on. There’s got to be something.' She feels like a human defibrillator. 'Tried a new weird kind of crisps? You know, I had some pickled onion ones the other day that turned my tongue blue.'

‘I’m afraid,’ he says, ‘I’m too old and boring for all of that.’

‘Too old for crisps?’ She wrinkles her nose, then changes her nose to a different one, and wrinkles that one, too. ‘How old are you?’ 

‘Much older than you. I’m thirty five.’ 

‘Oh, yeah, ancient. What’s wizarding life expectancy these days? You’ve only got - what, a hundred more years left?’ 

It drives her mad, this impression he does, of a man with nothing to live for. But she’s nothing if not determined, so she finds herself saving them up for him, little beckonings: stories of funny blokes on the tube, weirdos in the newsagents, stories from the pub and the office and the concerts she goes to to scream her head off and slam her body against strangers, little euphorias littering her days and weeks.

He listens, still as the grave. Occasionally, he’ll ask a polite question. Mostly, though, he gives her nothing back. ‘Come on,’ she says, throwing her hands up, mock despair. ‘Work with me, Remus. When was the last time you really felt alive?’

(Later - much later, when he’s leaving - he’ll tell her: ‘I’m a dead end.’

‘Fuck off,’ she’ll spit back, fuming. ‘We’re all dead ends. You’re not bloody special.’)

The next meeting, she sits down the other end of the table with Kingsley and Mad-Eye, doesn’t bother with her usual routine, had enough. She’s tried winding him up, tried taking the piss, tried getting him to tag along when she and Bill and the other Order twenty-somethings go out drinking or throw parties or go to gigs that leave their ears ringing. Fine, she thinks, stick your boring grey life. Waste your years.

It’s a boring one, that meeting. She yawns her way through it, no successes to speak of. Forty minutes in, there’s a soft thud at the kitchen door. Someone on the other side mutters ‘shit’, followed by the scampering of guilty feet back up the stairs. Remus mooches over to the door and recovers a strange stringy-looking thing with an ear at the end. Everyone takes this as a cue for the meeting to end: Molly marches up the stairs to berate her brood, Arthur smiles apologetically, Bill starts tidying, Sirius yawns. Remus, though, is smiling to himself as he walks over. He sits down beside her, twirling the strange device around in his hands, marvelling at it. ‘Impressive,’ he says, ‘isn’t it? What they can come up with.'

‘Brilliant.'

‘By the way,' he says, 'I have something for you.'

‘Oh?’

He fumbles around in a fraying pocket. Then he's pulling out an empty crisp packet, neatly folded in quarters. He flattens it out in front of her on the table, presents it. ‘Beef and mustard,’ he says. 'Weird enough for you?'

'Mustard crisps.' She stares down at the packet. ‘How were they?

‘Horrible,’ he says.

He stays for dinner - laughs with the kids, joins in with the gossip, for once, stays sat beside her the whole night. Watching him, she sees it, a glimmer of something: a stirring, a spark, colour, signs of life.

This is going to kill me, she thinks. She feels giddy with it - dizzy, thoroughly alive.

AN: i have never written remadora before but sometimes on sunday afternoons you think: fuck it, why not! this is pure @evesaintyves fanfiction and i make no apology for it. songs for this microfic are i wish i was the moon by neko case and hardline by julien baker (i'm telling my own fortune/something i cannot escape/i can see where this is going/but i can't find the brake). follow @remadoramicrofics for more! 🌙

[tastefulfinery]

Lucky 13 — in the kitchen!

Naught Kitchen time is GO!

13. in the kitchen

On days like this, Rosie contemplated her companionship with the infamous Radio Demon.

Of course there were benefits and detriments that came with the distinguished title of friend; such was the nature of Hell. Earth too, coming with the fickle nature of humans, but those friendships borne of Hell were a little more solid. A bit more life and death. Higher stakes, as they were.

Rosie was having a difficult time at present trying to ascertain if her current predicament warranted a positive or negative in the friend column.

It had started out innocent -poor choice of words, she knew- enough of a day. The Emporium was closed, her apartments above the store were quiet and secluded enough for her to relax for the evening. Indeed, nothing seemed amiss until she padded into the kitchen to prepare dinner, startled to see another occupant in her otherwise empty household.

The Shadow grinned at her with a mouthful of sharp, darkened teeth, tipping its head in a formal greeting. Rosie studied the creature warily, tilting her head to the side without trying to make any sudden movements.

“It’s impolite to intrude on a lady’s home without a formal invitation.” She shifted her weight back, her nightdress robes sliding across her collarbone. “Alastor has a standing invite, but I don’t think I made one for you.”

Lucky for her, the Shadow didn’t seem too bothered by her observation, shrugging its shoulders in lieu of actual speech. Rosie cautiously stepped around her guest, intent on ignoring it until thought her boring enough to vanish. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the creature: it was just that she didn’t like it without Alastor around. The Shadow was unpredictable and dangerous without a little control from its Keeper. Then again, she knew Alastor didn’t have a grip on the thing as well as he’d like too, if the conversations whispered in the dead of night had any indication. Too many times for her liking did she have to provide ah, aftercare to her dear friend when his person demon got a little unruly.

Before Rosie could wander too far, a chill went up her spine, stemming from an inky tentacle wrapping itself around her ankle. It slithered up her leg like a serpent, tucking itself under her nightgown as it traveled.

Frowning, she tried batting the thing away indignantly, “No manners at all! Do you learn nothing from Alastor? I demand—"

Whatever cannibal overlord had been about to say, it was muffled by a well-timed tentacle whipping itself around her neck and into her open mouth. Her eyes went wide as saucers before her vision was darkened by the Shadow lunging forward, near smothering her in its multi-limbed abyss of a body.

Rosie didn’t know how long the creature had been ravaging her body; hours? Minutes? Her focus had been lost a while ago, not being able to concentrate on anything other than that feeling of being stuffed full from a relentless mass off tentacles and limbs. The Shadow was different than Alastor; aggressive, unyielding. Pinning her to the kitchen floor until she was a sobbing, drooling mess of pleasure and pain. Why bother trying to fight when she really didn’t want to? It had been too long since she had been a proper little submissive at any rate, and she wasn’t about to let that feeling go until she absolutely had no choice.

One thought did flash through her mind during a brief respite from the chaos: that Alastor’s Shadow was most assuredly a benefit to being friends with the Radion Demon.

[sketchy-rosewitch]

House of Wax Religon Headcanons

CW: Catholicism, Talk of religion, Abuse, religious abuse, physical abuse.

This is basically just what I believe the brothers beliefs are. I thought about it last night and decided to write it.

Bo Sinclair:

Catholic through and through, he never stopped believing in God. He also believes he will never be forgiven until the town is complete (kinda a cult mentality).

Thinks his Ma is in heaven and she talked to God and told him Bo wasn’t allowed up until he did everything she asked of him and stopped being a “problem child”

I think he and Vincent had to be those kids that had their parent sit between them during Mass, (my sister and I were those kids).

Definitely had fits on the way to Church cause Mass was boring and he didn’t wanna go. (My Church had a kids Mass but their church is small so in my opinion they didn’t have that)

Got the shit beat outta him a few times cause he knocked over some of the candles or decided to mess around with a kid in the pew in front of him.

Used to pray kneeling at his bed right after Trudy died but eventually stopped and just kinda lays awake at night talking to God.

He has a rosary in his suit pocket, bedroom, and in his truck.

Gets hymns stuck in his head sometimes and plays them on the piano (doesn’t have the same feel as the Church’s organ but it satisfies)

Struggles with internalized homophobia

Still genuflects, does the sign of the cross, and all that out of habit.

Goes to at least visit the Church on Sunday and he doesn’t “work” that day either.

-

Vincent:

Atheist: Doesn’t believe in a higher power.

He stopped believing in God around 14. It was honestly because of how his parents treated Bo and how Bo and him turned out.

If God existed why did he end up with half a face? Why didn’t God allow Bo and him to separate before birth? Would’ve saved them so much trouble..

Fell asleep during Mass a lot but no one ever noticed cause he mastered waking up when they had to stand or kneel or sit. (He’d fall asleep standing and kneeling too)

Since he doesn’t believe in God he doesn’t really have a moral compass (didn’t see the need for one after he started killing)

The only reason he is still doing what his Ma wanted is because Bo convinced him and it’s about the legacy. Someone eventually will stumble across the completed town and see who Trudy Sinclair truly was.

He honestly went back and forth with believing and not but after awhile he gave up the fight.

Never struggled with homophobia, he just kinda like sits there and vibes.

-

Lester Sinclair: Agnostic

Lester still has a rosary in his truck glove compartment but he doesn’t really believe in God, or any religion but he doesn’t NOT believe in God or any religion.

He just kinda exists and he knows his brothers exist.

Sometimes when he worries he prays to whoever will listen

He believes his Ma and Pa are somewhere awful and that’s all.

He was an alter boy. Was how he thought he could get his parents attention.

May or may not have broken wine cups, bowls, the water jar and more from being an alter boy.

Bo and Vincent managed to cheer him up after he thought he disappointed everyone by breaking things.

Used to talk to the old ladies behind him during Mass.

Honestly thought about being a priest for a bit but decided not to about a month later cause it looked like too much work.

Lester struggled slightly with internalized homophobia but I think he does in fact go by Yolo (Ik so 2012 of me) unironically and just decides that he’s gonna live the life he wants.

He gets hurt by judgey people but in the end it doesn’t matter.

[kleiner-ghost-high-on-life]

If you’re doing the drabbles still: Gus telling Creature about what Gatlus was like before the G3 invasion? Or just the two trying to bond sometime after the events of the game or between bounties

The drabbles are open, always 🤲 Thank you for the ask ^^

Here's to two sweet lil' guys bonding while BH and the rest of the team are out kicking butt. (and a tiny bit of existential angst)

"Hey, Gus, Gus," Creature called out.

"Huh - What-" Gus jerked awake, "What's up pal?"

He'd dozed off a while back, during a particularly boring part of a documentary on Earth sea slug reproduction that Lizzie had put on to annoy Gene. She’d “hidden” the remote by the staircase, before heading out, leaving the trio of Gene, Creture, and Gus to watch the thing.

Gene only complained for about 5 minutes, before falling asleep, and Gus was quick to follow. He hadn’t quite realised how exhausting a life of bounty-hunting would be, and didn’t complain too much, if at all, when Bounty Hunter left him and Creature at home during this one mission.

Creature on the other hand seemed utterly unaffected by fatigue. It seemed like the added stress of constant near-death experiences was comparable, or even lesser than, that of constantly having a dozen kids.

“Were you sleeping?” Creature asked.

“Yes pal,” Gus blinked in annoyance, “Did you wake me up just to ask that?”

“No, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.” The Gatlian shrugged, as much as his shoulder-less body would allow.

“I was just sleeping, why would you-”

“This movie Lizzie put on, it’s got me thinking,” Creature turned towards the TV, he paused for a second, his gaze lost in the wavy colourful shapes of sea slugs merging into a singular non-distinct mass of alien bodies, “We are the last Gatlians out there. Our planet is gone, and we will never be able to repopulate it again, just the six of us. All our traditions, songs, dances,” he nudged towards the screen, with a melancholic look painted over his face, “We’ll never be like them. My little freaky babies … they will never get to have little freaky babies of their own. You know?”

Gus was at a loss for words. Sure, he knew what he needed to say, which just so happened to very closely align with what he wanted to say, but Creature’s unprompted nihilistic philosophic speech had taken him by surprise.

Thankfully it seemed that Creature’s children were unaffected, as they spent the few minutes they had staring at the mating sea slugs in silent and confused awe.

“Ah, I’m sure there’s more of us out there,” Gus scruffled over and gave Creature a little pat on the shoulder. “Bunty Hunter will keep looking, and so will we. We’ll be alright buddy, we’ll rebuild. There might no longer be a home for us on Gatlus, but we made a good home for ourselves here, don’t you think?”

Creature turned to face Gus, earning him twelve displeased groans from his back.

“You mean that? Because I don’t think you mean that, not after how you got mad at Kenny for destroying our home planet,”

“I mean, he literally caused the downfall of our fucking-” Gus cut himself off, shaking his head. There was no use getting worked up over something Creature didn’t remember, and couldn’t possibly understand.

Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.

“You know, there’s something we could do before the others return. Bounty Hunter won’t get it, and Lizzie might yell at us, but it was somewhat of a tradition back on Gatlus. When someone close, like a best friend went on a very long journey, and we didn’t know when they’d return we’d throw them-”

“A surprise party?” Creatrue excitedly interrupted.

“No, not a surprise party. A bucket of Takeocot purée.”

“A what now?”

“Takeocot purée. I’ll show you how to make it. Well, we usually did it before they left, for good luck and to repel mud-bugs on their travels, but I’m sure they’ll get our meaning.”

The smile on Creature’s face was contagious, and Gus couldn’t help but mimic the grin. It had been so long since he’d engaged in casual tasks like this, and even longer since he’d done anything Gatlian.

“How are the two of you gonna make whatever that thing is, considering you have two arms between the two of you, and no way of getting down from this coffee table?” Gene suddenly interrupted.

“Aaah – I thought you were sleeping!” Creature exclaimed.

His children hissed at him again, in reaction to the loud noise.

“I woke up when you said repopulate,” Gene scratched his face. “Do you want me to call Lizzie to help you with your mushy-mushy bonding activity?”

“No thank you,” Gus dryly stated.

“I mean, he’s not wrong about us only having two arms,” Creature tried to argue.

“Two plus twenty-four,” Gus nodded towards Creature’s babies.

“Oh, right.”

With the roar of a dozen babies who were just told to stop watching TV, Creature’s children hopped off his back and helped the duo down from the coffee table before carrying them to the kitchen, as per Gus’s instructions.

When Gene straightened up on the couch, attempting to catch a peak of what they were doing, one of the babies ran up to him and hissed at his face. He would have bitten him too, had he not puffed out of existence that very moment.

“You know Gus,” Creature spoke while Gus rummaged through the cupboard he could reach, in search of the necessary ingredients, “We should do this more often; you telling me about stuff I’m supposed to remember, me telling you about how hopeless the future would be without my friends.”

“Sure thing, pal.” Gus smiled in reply, “Just maybe without the hopeless future part, next time.”