take care of you
Summary: Edalyn goes to investigate the home of her older sister Evelyn after word reaches her that vampire hunters may have attacked. She expects to find any sign of the family's whereabouts but is shocked to discover only one member seems to remain...
Word Count: 19,764
Characters: Edalyn Clawthorne, Evelyn Clawthorne, Caleb Wittebane, Hunter (The Owl House)
CWs: house burning, child abandonment and neglect, death
A/N: i'm not as fond of this fic as i was initially but i feel like if i edit it any more i will explode so this is what you get
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The rain came pouring down quite heavily, which was not ideal for a vampire out in the night. It didn't necessarily hurt them, but it was still a great hindrance. Messed with their powers. And there were very few trees around to take shelter underneath.
The clouds were thick and thunderous, completely blocking out the moonlight. But this was no issue for the vampire's ability to see in the dark as if it were day. The figure, shrouded under her dark cloak bedazzled with a ruby button, sprinted between trees as she made her way to the 18th century style mansion. These types of houses weren't necessarily uncommon, but it certainly stuck out having not been refurbished nor surrounded by similar houses. What made it more unusual, was the very clearly collapsed parts of the house, the structure having been weakened from burning as the wood was charred. It was a wonder how it still stood upright at all.
As Edalyn approached the door, finally sheltered under an archway, she pulled back her hood to get a better look at the place, her mass of bright ginger hair letting loose from underneath. She tried to peek into any windows she could from where she was standing, and glanced around behind her a few times, just to make sure no one, not even a vampire could be there.
It had been quite a long time since she had visited this house. She remembered touring the place after her sister had purchased it with her human husband. They wanted to start a family together. Edalyn always wondered if it was going to be a large one, from the sheer size of the house, but she knew how much Evelyn liked her space. She had missed so much in person over the years that she only ever got to experience through letters, and regretted being so caught up in her own business now that she was here to investigate devastation.
Edalyn hesitated on the door handle with these thoughts, quite terrified of what might lay inside, but she inhaled her fear and shoved open the door.
She wasn't really sure what she expected. Possibly the worst, but she was met with stagnant, musty air and the old smell of burning wood. She thought she could detect a whiff of old garlic which made her wince in disgust. Vampire hunters. Just as she suspected. She tried not to let her worst suspicions consume her just yet. There was a chance she'd find a clue of their life, if she just kept looking.
The first place she looked was the basement, which led to the chapel that would conceal their tombs. If the vampire hunters hadn't been cruel, they would be there, and if they had been stupid, they would only be staked in the heart. Very easily revivable. But as she shoved the stone lid off of her sister's coffin, her heart sank. There was no one inside. She did the same for her husband, Caleb, but he was nowhere to be found either.
Edalyn stood stunned for a moment, fighting tears that already convinced her of the worst possible outcome. She shook herself from it and tried to reassure herself that they could still be alive. They could have merely escaped the house, and left a hidden note of their location somewhere. Determined, she ran back up the stairs to the main house.
The young vampire anxiously made her way around every room on the first floor, checking every cabinet, drawer, or dresser, and taking note of the sheer carnage that was left. Indeed the main parlor next to the fourier was partially burnt and collapsed, the heavy rain seeping in. Edalyn did her best to avoid the wet as she looked through the salvageable drawers. She unsurprisingly found nothing, but she figured it was best to do a thorough search, just in case. She knew any secrets would most likely be on the upper floors, in the unused bedrooms.
She quickly made her way up the grand staircase and stood at the top, pausing for a moment, expecting something, but there was nothing nor anyone there. It was strange. It almost felt like there was a presence on this level of the house, but she could see nothing in the deep darkness of the hallway, not even with her night vision.
Still, she figured she'd better be careful. She made her way slowly down the hallway, taking in the few paintings and portraits left on the walls. Some of them were scorched, likely from the torches of the hunters. She entered every room she came across, whether they be locked or not, using her supernatural abilities to slip through the cracks in each door. Some were completely ransacked by hunters, others remained untouched, but regardless, she made quick yet thorough work of examining every nook and cranny, desperately looking for any sign that her family could be alive somewhere.
Her desperation strangely ceased every time she reentered that hallway, for she could feel that odd presence there, and it made her cautious, yet curious. Perhaps it was merely some woodland critters that were taking shelter from the rain that she was mistaken for someone bigger? The presence did feel rather small, but maybe it was trying to make itself small…
Edalyn tried not to let it bother her as she made her way up the smaller stairs at the end of the hallway to the third floor. If there was to be anything, it would absolutely be here. It had to be. She checked in the first room on the right, which appeared to be fashioned into a large nursery, the leftover toys covered in thick layers of dust and cobwebs, but found nothing. The first door on the left was another library, filled with equally dusty books, but still, she found nothing. The second door on the right, the clearly unused grand bedroom that would have been meant for the heads of the house, was exactly the type of place Edalyn suspected would definitely have what she was looking for.
She quickly entered the room, initially not bothering to take in any of the surroundings, but was immediately hit with a strange wave of despair. It felt as if something horrible had happened in this room, a nauseating chill that she did not feel in any of the other rooms she searched. It stopped Edalyn in her tracks, and she felt as if she could have broken down right there. The reality of the situation could have easily overtaken her, but she triumphed once more in fighting off her tears. She was still holding onto hope of the survival of her beloved sister.
Edalyn practically tore apart the room, knowing that her sister would have likely used the main bedrooms as a storage for her personal things, and more importantly, as storage for her secrets. A storage for any sort of clue that could lead her sister to her. A storage for something, anything that would prevent even the very idea of this horrid event from being true. Each empty hiding spot only contributed to that sinking feeling. Edalyn checked every inch of that room until there was…
...Nothing. Her hope was rapidly fading. She collapsed into the vanity chair that she had paused at and very lazily prodded at the dusty objects left on the table, until she came to the music box.
The very music box that she herself had given Evelyn as a wedding present. She very gently wound it up until the lid opened by itself, and the spinning figure inside spun along with the music.
Edalyn didn’t know what to think. She couldn't fathom how something like this could happen, how vampire hunters could have gotten here. She was certain that Evelyn and her husband were strong and resourceful enough to have fought them off. But the emptiness in the house only seemed to prove otherwise…
As the music ended and the box closed on its own, Edalyn's head fell into her arms onto the table. The heavy feeling in the room finally put enough pressure onto her to force out her sobbing. She sat like that for a good long while, indulging in her worst fears. If they really had been killed, she felt it was her fault. Had she just made more room in her life to spend time with her blood family… maybe she could have been there to help. She did not want it to be her fault. She did not want them to be dead. She was not ready to accept it. She never even got a chance to meet their newborn son…
Suddenly, in the midst of her weeping, despite the suffocating feeling all around her, she suddenly felt as if someone was watching her. Her head shot up from the vanity table and whipped around to the door, but she saw no one.
That feeling was undeniable now, there was definitely someone here, and it wasn't just a woodland animal. She was racking her brain of the possibilities as she slowly stood and carefully made her way to the door. Poking her head out, she looked down either side of the hallway, stepping further out and checking to make sure no one was behind her. She turned to face the unsearched rooms, scratching her head in confusion, when she heard a voice finally call out from behind her.
"Who are you?" The voice sounded quite young, yet strangely rough.
Edalyn whipped around to meet the face of a young boy who couldn't have been more than sixteen years old, standing rigidly in the entryway of the room she had just come from. He was most definitely a vampire, with his pointed ears, sharp teeth, and piercing red eyes. There was certainly some relief in that. But Edalyn's heart dropped as she recognized the unmistakable features of Caleb's face.
"You're Hunter, aren't you?" Edalyn said incredulously.
"Who are you and what are you doing in this house?!" The boy demanded.
Edalyn blinked the tears forcefully out of her eyes and shook her head as if to fight off a hallucination, but when the boy still stood clear in her mind, she began to approach him gently with both arms extended in a friendly manner. If Hunter was alive, it was still possible that Evelyn and Caleb could be. Surely, they wouldn’t have abandoned something as precious as their son all alone here. She still clung to that hope.
"I'm your mother's sister, Edalyn. You know, your mother Evelyn?" She tried to be gentle with him.
"Don't come any closer!" Hunter warned as he shrank away from Edalyn's gesture.
She stopped, taken aback by his forcefulness. She supposed he got from her side of the family. Hawthornes could be quite stand-offish. She pulled back and stood plainly before responding to his other question.
"I'm here because I received word that something may have happened to my sister." She answered.
The boy looked at her for a moment, quite angrily.
"Well you're far too late to do anything about it." He finally retorted.
"Word doesn't travel fast when you're out of the country, let alone if you're a vampire." Edalyn explained.
There was a pause as they stood awkwardly, looking toward the floor, unsure of what to do or say. Edalyn finally met his gaze again, and started to approach once more.
"Please, won't you tell me what happened here? I am not your enemy, I'm not here to hurt you. I really am related to your mother, and I just want to know where she and her husband went." She pleaded.
Hunter’s expression shifted into a worried grimace as he still looked to the floor, before he stepped out of the doorway and reached his hand out, a pinky extended. Though surprised, Edalyn immediately recognized the gesture. A pinky promise. Something that she learned from her whole family. Of course Evelyn would have passed it on. She locked her own pinky with his and shook it firmly.
"A pinky promise." She said, a glint of comfort in her otherwise melancholic voice.
Hunter smiled awkwardly at her, but he became much more relaxed, having established a foolproof method of trust in his mind. He remembered his mother established such a gesture as only a thing amongst family, and if this stranger knew of it, she was surely family.
"Now tell me," Edalyn began, finally rubbing her face dry. "Why did your parents leave you here?"
Hunter slowly looked down to the floor again, a grim expression coming across his face. He hesitated for a moment as he shrunk completely in on himself.
"They're dead." He blurted out forcefully, as he turned to walk away.
Edalyn gasped, and stood in her place in shock before she realized the answers to the flood of questions entering her mind were walking down the hall. She could feel her grief welling up inside her, her denial shattered. She wanted to hound his boy with more questions, but she realized by the look of him, that he probably really didn't want to talk about it. Her demeanor became more solemn as she followed quietly behind him.
"Was it the hunters?" She whispered, barely able to speak.
The boy met her eyes over his shoulder, his own clearly wet, and he simply nodded.
Edalyn could no longer hold back her own tears. Not only were her fears confirmed in that she had completely lost her sister and brother-in-law, but their child had been left alone with this trauma for who knows how long, living all by himself with no one to raise him. She had a million more questions, but the instinct to ask them was not more powerful than the instinct to comfort.
"Oh Hunter, I'm so sorry." She choked out.
She gently grabbed his face as he now turned toward her before she pulled him in close and held onto him tightly. This was her nephew, and she was determined to make sure that he was taken care of, above all else.
"H-how did you know my name?" Hunter asked, rather bewildered by the intense emotions.
Edalyn pulled away from the embrace, keeping one hand on Hunter's shoulder and the other wiping at her cheek.
"Your mother told me about you, in her letters." She answered, her voice quivering.
"She wrote you letters?" Hunter inquired.
"Yes. But then they stopped coming… and I got worried…" Edalyn replied.
She looked to the floor, seemingly trapped in a daze. She tried to gather her memories and thought process from before she came here. The daze only lasted a moment before she breathed a heavy sigh, and continued.
"I figured it was fine for a while. They were probably quite busy raising you. But then I heard that nobody, not even their closest friends had heard from neither Evelyn nor Caleb, and that there had been a great commotion at the house." She paused in thought.
"No one would elaborate, so I came to investigate myself." Edalyn finished.
The emotions were hitting her again. She pressed her hand over her eyes as if that would work as flood gates. Hunter could see her lips contorted into an intense frown. He mindlessly seemed to copy her expression as he reached his hand over to hers placed on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. He could hear her take in another shivery sigh in an attempt to compose herself.
"I have so many questions to ask you." Edalyn could barely get her words out.
"We should probably sit down for it." Hunter smiled awkwardly yet again, trying to ease the tension.
He took her hand in his and began leading her through the rest of the hallway and back down to the first floor. She followed him wordlessly all the way into a larger drawing room that hadn’t been affected by the fire at the back of the house. It almost seemed to function as more of a back porch as there were very large windows that looked out into a garden in the backyard, with an accompanying greenhouse. The pouring rain that came with the storm had ceased enough to see that said greenhouse and garden had become rather unkempt.
"Do you want me asking questions? I don't know how fresh it is in your mind." Edalyn asked as she swiped off some of the dust on her chair and her spot at the table, before promptly sitting down.
"It's alright. I'm fine with it I think." Hunter said, sitting cross-legged with his hands folded neatly on the dusty tablecloth.
Edalyn was surprised at his manners, compared to hers where she sat slouched back in the chair, hands folded on her lap. She couldn't be bothered to perform such etiquette after all the blows to her emotions. She wondered if maybe Hunter was so rigid because he was nervous. She was little more than an acquaintance at this point.
She twiddle her thumbs in her lap for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts to coherence.
"Do you remember anything that happened?" She finally asked, looking up from her thumbs.
"Not really. It was such a long time ago. I think I must have been five." Hunter responded, instinctively looking away from her gaze.
Five years old. This was a complete shock to Edalyn. This poor boy had to fend for himself at such a young age, barely older than infancy. And no one came to his rescue. She couldn't imagine what kind of life he could have been living.
"How long have you been alone?" She anxiously continued her questions.
"Close to eleven years I think. I've been losing track lately…" Hunter replied.
"How have you been able to survive? I mean, no one taught you how to catch your own food. What have you been living off of?" Edalyn hounded as she mindlessly leaned forward in her chair.
"I live off the rats and mice that come into the house." He admitted. "It's not a lot but it's been enough to get me this far."
Edalyn pulled back in disbelief. She placed her hand on her forehead as if to brace herself for some explosive emotion.
Hunter looked at her a little worried. He knew his situation wasn't ideal, but he had gotten so used to this lifestyle that now meeting someone who led a much more normal life than he did, he felt embarrassed. Edalyn seemed to notice his expression and sighed. She leaned forward in her chair, far enough that she could reach Hunter's hands with her own, and took them in hers.
"Hunter, I know you're probably used to living like this, but the fact of the matter is, it is not a normal way to live for a vampire." She began.
Hunter flushed at the gesture. It had been such a long time since he got any sort of familial affection. Getting it now was overwhelming.
"I know we've only just met, and you might not want me in your house, but I feel as though it is my obligation as your next of kin to be the one to look after you from now on." Edalyn continued.
She didn't know how hard she had to try to convince him to let her stay, if she even had to at all, but she still figured she'd give it some honest effort anyway. Even if he declined her care, she would just take care of him from afar, as best as she could. There was no way she was leaving this boy completely alone ever again.
Hunter didn’t respond at first. All of his emotions were slowly reaching a point. He had gotten so used to being alone, fending for himself. He had come to accept it as his way of life. But now with the prospect of a family member returning, offering the safety and care he had been needing for a long time, he slowly started realizing just how much he had been struggling. And he had tried so desperately to cling to the memory of his parents for any semblance of comfort, but they had been fading more and more from his mind.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized how truly grateful he was that someone had come into his life with the promise that she would care for him just as his parents did, and how much luckier he was that it happened to be a blood relative.
He tried to stifle his emotions in the time that these thoughts raced through his head, but it was hardly any use.
"Please stay." He finally choked out as he could no longer hold back.
His head suddenly fell forward onto the table and he began hysterically sobbing, his hands still locked with Edalyn's, tensing in hers. She instantly got up out of the chair that was seated across from him at the table and plopped herself in one right next to him. She then gently pried him off of the table and into her arms, letting her cloak drape over both of them. Hunter only clung to her as tightly as he could, burying his face in her chest as he cried.
"It's alright, it's alright." Edalyn spoke softly above Hunter's broken sobs.
She gently stroked his unkempt blond hair as she tightened the embrace, and let her own tears flow.
"I'm here to take care of you."
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↳ Index [Chapter 38 - Soulmates]
Warnings: just…softness and yoongie boongie :( and googie woogie :(, there is also Smut in this chapter but it’s not explicit, it’s more implied that she rides him but it’s not graphic you get me, either way they fucking deserve the fucking world, there will only be softness from now on
Wordcount: 10.3k
a/n: will i ever grow tired of writing them being touchy and in love? nope and nobody can stop me
You sometimes wonder how your life would have turned out had you stayed with your parents. Would you be happier or would you be living in your own personal Hell? Would your father still avoid looking into your eyes and would your mother still greet you by asking if you were finally doing something worthy with your life? Those are questions you know the answer to already. You would have escape nonetheless. One day, you would have left no matter what. You may not have ended up at this specific university with these specific secrets, but you still would have ended up somewhere else. Somewhere where people looked into your eyes and where simply being alive was already enough.
Being alive is a funny thing. Everything and everyone could kill you at any time. You breathe whilst sometimes feeling like drowning. Your heart beats even after getting it shattered. Your brain continues to produce thoughts, no matter how much one may beg it to stop. Your limbs continue working for as long as they are destined to work. And yet everything, every single thing works to one single goal. Death. That one day all this working may finally stop.
Death is an ever funnier thing. You wonder if you would look at it the way you do these days after everything you have been through. You wonder if you would still be as scared of it as you were back then, if you never knew how it feels to come so close to it. Maybe you would live happier though. Despite your fear. Maybe you wouldn’t have to think of all the lives you ended and just how death is certain for everyone. No matter if it comes in ten years, three days or five centuries. Everyone dies eventually.
Are you dead? Is that why you are thinking about it right now? Is this your brain’s last job? To make you think about how everyone dies? Didn’t people always say that one thinks of one's life if death was near? But what is there to think about really? Thinking about it hurts too much. Your grandmother left, your parents hated you and you failed to reunite the only family which felt like home. Yoongi. You failed to save him.
Your eyes open. The lights are so bright that it hurts. You blink to get rid of the pain. Wait a minute. You can’t be dead. You still feel like shit. This isn’t the afterlife, you’re still on earth.
Your vision returns to you and for just a second you wished that it would have given you a little more time to adjust. Yoongi is right there, sleeping on the pillow next to you and with his face glowing in life.
You want to call his name, but your voice doesn’t want to work. So you mouth his name as your hand reaches for his face to hold his cheek. You don’t even realise that your hand is healed. Taehyung must have used his blood to heal your burn marks. All you can concentrate on is Yoongi. He is still cold to the touch, but that doesn’t affect you. You are holding his face again and his cheek feels so soft in your palm and that was all that matters. It forces hot tears into your eyes. He is back.
You try his name again, but only manage to whimper. Yoongi reacts nonetheless.
He opens his eyes.
“Holy shit”, you finally get out. There they are. His dark brown eyes which always look at you with so much love.
Yoongi blinks at you slowly, fingers intertwining with yours just seconds later. He hums. It was a small sound, quiet and barely there, but it overwhelms you nonetheless.
“Yoong-” is all you get out and then you break into tears. Happiness, pain, relief. They are a little bit of everything and so much more.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything as his own tears overwhelm him before he could speak.
You draw closer, holding each other as tightly as you can. And then you cry. You know not for how long, but that doesn’t matter because you finally had each other to hold again. You find unconsciousness that way and it feels good to do because you had each other to hold.
You feel a little better when you open your eyes again. Yoongi is still sleeping, looking peaceful and healthy. His pink lips are parted slightly, his dark lashes rest against his ivory cheeks. He looks so, so healthy again. Holy fuck, he is here. Yoongi is actually with you again. You reach out to touch his cheek, making sure that he was real.
Yoongi opens his eyes. He smiles with them, humming softly. Like this, his cheeks puff out. You caress it softly, feeling so close to tears.
“Are you real?” you ask him in a shaking voice.
He nods his head slowly.
“I feel like I’m dreaming. Please say something, please.”
Yoongi blinks slowly. You feel dizzy in anticipation.
“Anything please.”
“I missed you so much, my love”, he finally says and the sound of his voice makes you tear up instantly. This is it. This is exactly how Yoongi sounds. This is your Yoongi talking. He is actually here.
“It’s really you”, you press out, having to sob, “Yoongi, it’s really you.”
“Yes. It’s me.”
“Holy fuck, Yoongi. I love you”, you press out, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
“Are, are you real?”
“Yes”, Yoongi says and closes his eyes as you run your fingers over his face obsessively.
“I can’t believe that I did it. I saved you.”
“You did.”
“Did, did I actually do it?”
“You did.”
“Holy fuck, I did it. My love, I want to cry I did it."
Yoongi smiles when you squeeze his cheek gently. He looks at you, feeling so happy that he wants to jump up and dance. But he can’t. His body feel so weak and tired that he can’t even find strength in himself to draw closer to you. So he has to lay here and allow you to touch him softly and he has no problem doing that. It feels like a dream to him. A beautiful, sweet dream. Your eyes race over his face without stopping, your fingers are clammy in emotion.
“Please say something only the real Yoongi knows. Just anything. I, I don’t believe that this is real.”
“Mhm, I can’t think of anything.”
“Just anything please.”
Yoongi gazes at your eyes deeply and adoringly. His lips curl into a warm smile.
“You’re my land”, he whispers.
“Yoongi”, you breathe, feeling lightheaded from all the emotions in your body.
He grins shyly, “I was really drunk back then.”
“Yoongi, you’re my land too”, you say, scooting closer, “Yoongi, you are really back. Oh my love, my beloved prince”, you trace his cheekbone, “you are truly back. Oh, I thought that I would never see you again. Did you feel anything when you were sleeping?”
He nods his head, “it felt like I was trapped in my own body.”
“Holy shit, oh no my prince. W-were you in pain?”
Yoongi hesitates for a second before he dismisses you with a shake of his head, “that doesn’t matter anymore.”
“So you were. Oh Yoongi”, you whimper, “I’m so sorry, I should have been faster. I, I should have-”
“Hush”, Yoongi silences you with a gentle touch to your temple, “you did more than enough. Way more”, he says and furrows his brows in worry, “you look so tired, my love.”
“I am. I’m so tired”, you say and smile, “but that’s okay to be, because I can be tired now.”
“Yes, you can. I’ll keep you safe.”
“And I’ll keep you safe”, you say, making his eyes fill with the softest of fondness.
“You will”, he whispers, closing the distance between you and him to kiss the slope of your nose.
“I, I’ll keep you safe from, from everything. I, I never want you to, to go through that a-again. I promise you, I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe”, you are almost stumbling over the words from just how quickly you speak them.
Yoongi merely hums and kisses your forehead, pulling you against his chest afterwards.
“I fucking missed you”, he whispers.
“I missed you too. Oh god, Yoongi, I-I thought that I lost you already. It hurt so much.”
“I know. It hurt me too, my love. Listening to you cry so much while I couldn’t do anything felt like torture.”
“You heard me?” you gasp, lifting your head from the safety of his chest in order to look into his eyes.
“Yes, every word.”
“So you know about what I am?”
“Yes”, Yoongi answers you, tracing your cheek with his thumb. It seems that he can’t stop touching you and neither can you, tracing his cheek while your other hand rests on his strong chest.
“And about the...things I did?”
“Yes.”
“Oh”, you let out, swallowing nervously, “what do you think of it?”
“How do you feel about it?”
“I don’t know. In denial?” you laugh breathily, “I didn’t have time to process any of the hundreds and thousands of things which happened. I’ve been stuck in that day for nine weeks and everything which happened in those weeks felt like a weird dream.”
“Mhm”, he acknowledges you, “it’s okay to feel that way. A lot happened, didn’t it?”
“Yes. So much.”
“We’ll sort through it together. One thing at a time, yeah?”
“Yoongi”, you whimper, feeling your eyes fill with tears again.
“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry.”
“I’m just so tired and, and now you’re back and I feel like a weak, little plop of exhaustion. Fuck, I had so much stuff planned which I wanted to do with you once you’re back, but I’m just so tired.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what? For making me want to fall asleep? Holy fuck, I haven’t slept properly in weeks. And, and now I just want to keep sleeping while I hold you. I don’t feel burdened anymore.”
Yoongi smiles softly, “that doesn’t sound that bad then”, he whispers, eyes lighting up as his smile spreads over his face, “we could sleep together. I feel tired too.”
“You do?”
He nods his head slowly, “I couldn’t even get up to hunt, they had to feed me blood bags.”
“Oh, my love. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ll sleep it off. As should you.”
“I agree, I feel so sick.”
Yoongi furrows his brows in worry.
“But that’s okay. I’ll sleep it off, just as you will.”
Yoongi smiles and so do you.
“So we should get comfy, shouldn’t we?” you say and giggle.
“That sounds like a plan”, Yoongi whispers, shimmying closer until his lips are touching the bridge of your nose. He gives you a little kiss, “like this?”
“Yes”, you close your eyes, nuzzling closer, “yes, just like this.” And in the tiniest voice you could produce, you add your most honest “I love you.”
“I love you too”, Yoongi answers you, voice barely above a whisper for he knew that he didn’t need to shout for his whole world to hear him.
You drift off to sleep together just seconds later. You won’t notice it, but the sun will rise and set once before you even as much as change into a different position. Taehyung and Jimin will check up on you during that time, but seeing how peacefully you slumbered in each others’ arms they let you sleep and left again.
It is snowing outside when you wake up again. The room is dark, except for the moon shining into the windows. Its light is weak as the thick snow clouds keep it hidden. Yoongi moved his head just enough that his lips are on your forehead now. His fingers are deep in your hair, holding you close. You love this so much. But as much as you love it, you also need to change the position a little. Your shoulder aches from not moving it for hours. It wakes Yoongi, who ends up peeling his eyes open sleepily before he groans.
“My neck is killing me”, he complains, rolling it as best as possible.
“Same, my shoulder hurts”, you say.
He chuckles, rolling to his back. You do the same, stretching yourself.
“Uff now I’m dizzy”, you whine.
“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks, rolling onto his tummy and propping himself up on his elbows to study your features.
“Yes, gosh”, you place your hand over your mouth, “don’t come so close, I feel like I have the worst breath ever. My mouth feels like cardboard.”
Yoongi chuckles, reaching over to the bedside table to get you the bottle of water Jungkook left as he checked on you. He opens it for you.
“Drink that, it’ll help.”
“Thanks”, you murmur into your hand and sit up to drink. You hand it to Yoongi once you finished half of it.
“Thanks”, he accepts it, drinking it gladly.
“We must have slept for a few hours, it’s already dark outside”, you say.
“Yeah right? That must have been the deepest sleep ever, I feel so out of it”, he says with the left side of his hair completely dented.
“Yeah same. It feels like I slept for days.”
“Same.”
You and him exchange a look, drawing closer afterwards. The yearning was just too strong. Yoongi leans in.
“Oh wait”, you place your hand over your mouth again.
“Oh shut up with your bad breath insecurity, you think I care right now?” he complains in a laugh, tugging your hand away from your lips to instead claim them in a kiss. He wraps his arms around you, placing his hand on the back of your head.
You swear that in this moment colour returns to your world and warmth claims your skin again. He is kissing you again. Yoongi is kissing you. You whimper, wrapping your arms around him to press him as close as possible. You are kissing Yoongi again. This is actually happening.
He purrs, closing his hand around your side right under your arm. The squeeze he gives you, lets you know that he feels just as deeply about the situation as you do. You are back with him. He had to go weeks without you, haunted by your voice and tortured by constant pain.
You are wiping all of this away again. No more pain and agony. Your kiss heals him, your touch keeps him safe. And Yoongi feels overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by how happy he feels and how fucking grateful he is to be loved by you.
He chases you. Needs you closer. He chases you and chases you and chases you until you fall into the sheets and he has to climb on top of you. Atop your lap and with your arms hooked behind his neck, he finds his home, running his hands over the paths of your body. He still remembers his way. He was scared that he would forget, but he didn’t. All those paths and spots and places still feel familiar to his fingers. And tonight, in this snowy moonlit night, the journey leaves Yoongi trembling in intensity. He has to touch you or else he would crumble. And so he does. He keeps on feeling you, exploring you, touching you and messing with your head in the process.
You stopped caring about yourself in those past nine weeks. Your body, your skin, your lips. You didn’t want to be touched. It wasn’t important to you. The comfort it would have brought you felt wrong to you. And Yoongi is touching you. He is kissing you whilst helping your skin remember just how wonderful it feels to receive loving touches. And it was Yoongi doing it, the one person you yearned for the most. Yoongi is helping you remember again and you don’t know if you can handle that.
You think you can’t. Every touch leaves behind traces of warmth and comfort and electricity. Sparks and sparks of electricity which linger on your skin and reawaken your need to be touched. You think that you would die if he stopped right now. You are so starved for tenderness. So fucking starved.
Yoongi breaks the kiss, but stays close. Touching and feeling your skin while his lips dance to your neck. This is his place, his home, the spot he can return to whenever he wants to because you made it his’. Your fingers tell him that you waited for him painfully much, tangling in his hair and keeping him close that way. The sensation of it sends tears to Yoongi’s eyes. It feels so good to feel something other than pain in his head and to know that you are giving it to him. Comfort. The remedy that heals you as well.
His hair feels so soft again. You were so blinded by your grief that you always pretended that his hair felt the same when he was passed out, but your fingers always knew. Each time you ran them through his hair they told your heart the truth while your heart refused to listen. His hair wasn’t soft anymore, but now it is. Now your heart can feel it too. Life has returned to Yoongi and with it, the softness of his hair. You want to never let it go again, twist it and hold it and keep him close that way. His lips kiss away the aches in your neck. You were in constant pain. Tense from falling asleep over your books or straight up passing out on the floor again and tight from the worry torturing your head. Yoongi kisses your skin and helps relaxation return to the aching spots. No more tension, no more aches, just his lips helping your skin remember how to feel and soothing your thoughts with it.
He can smell it too. He is drowning in you. You smell so happy and relieved. And you are soaked in love. It is suffocating him and Yoongi wants it to happen. He wants to suffocate in your scent. This is all he ached for ever since the cursed wood dug into his lungs and burned them painfully. To know that after all the torture, the first scent he can take in is your happiness and love brings new tears to Yoongi’s eyes.
He whimpers softly. He has to be closer to you. Why can’t he be closer to you? Your arms are around him, your hands are feeling his skin and your warmths melt into one and yet it is still not enough to him. You are so far gone. Yoongi can’t handle it.
He wraps his arms around you, presses you against his chest, sobs your name.
“I have to be closer”, he begs, “please pull me closer.”
“Yoongi”, you whimper, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing him against your chest. You even lift your head enough that you can bury your face in the crook of his neck. Yoongi holds your head instantly, taking the weight for you as his face disappears in the crook of your shoulder.
Closer. So much closer. And yet not close enough.
For neither of you. The distance was to grande those past few weeks. Not even this hug can heal your hearts.
“Closer”, you beg, “Yoongi please closer.”
“I don’t know how”, he whimpers, “princess, please”, he begs, cradling you against him desperately.
You slip your hand from his back just to twist a bundle of his boxer shorts. The message is clear to him. You have found a way. It is the only way.
Your eyes meet. Yoongi seems in disbelief that you could want something like this. He thought about it, but didn’t dare to voice it, scared that he might ruin the healing moment you and he are sharing.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“I have never been more certain. You?”
He nods his head vigorously and climbs off your lap. He falls to his back and lifts his legs, taking off his briefs that way. You do the same with your pajamas shorts.
Yoongi sits up, looks at your bared middle. You do the same. One second. Eyes meet again. The contact is real. His eyes are so beautiful.
He reaches out and tugs at your shirt. You know what to do. Yoongi knows as well. No insecurities plague him. Not when being naked with you is all he wants to experience.
You climb atop his lap once you rid yourselves of your barriers. They kept you so far, far away from each other. You finally realise how big the gap between you was once you fall back into a hug and your naked chests touch.
“Yoongi”, you sob instantly, holding him with shaking fingers, “Yoongi, I love you.”
You don’t even notice how cold skin was right now. He feels warm and perfect to you. And in this moment you realise that it was never his warmth that kept you so comforted, but the softness of his skin. It wasn’t his warmth, but his touch. It has always been him that made you feel so much that you would run out of words before you managed to describe it.
“I love you too”, Yoongi sobs quietly, soiling your shoulder with his tears as the overwhelming sensation of being naked with you drags him down. He has to rest his cheek against you, grasping you with trembling fingers because if he wouldn’t, he would break into a million pieces. You are so warm in contrast to him. Yoongi hasn’t felt that warm in weeks. And in this moment he realises that he feels temperature as long as he is close to you. He could be lost in the deepest snow storm or stranded in the hottest deserts and he wouldn’t feel a thing. But ever since he learned of your warmth, Yoongi cares about temperature. He feels cold when he is without you and warm when he is reunited with you. And in this moment, he finally stops shivering.
“Closer my love, please I’m begging you”, he pleads, shaking in sobs.
And so you take that last step. One last step. You hope that it is enough. It would break you if it wasn’t. You hold him close and take him inside and in this moment it wasn’t for pleasure, it was for connection.
He fills you up in his entirety instantly, helping you remember yet another part of yourself you forgot. You feel warm between your legs when you can be with Yoongi. Not only in a pleasurable way, but more than anything in a sense of living kind of way. As if your purpose on this earth was to be connected with him. As if in those short and long moments where your bodies are the closest they can get, your souls are finally one again.
“___”, Yoongi sobs, lifting his head.
“Yoongi”, you whimper, spilling tears when he cups your cheeks.
“Please don’t leave me again”, he begs.
“Why would I? Yoongi, all I want in life is to be with you”, you choke out and sob.
“My beloved”, he breathes, eyes falling closed and as his instincts to love you kick in, he kisses you. He kisses you with the intent of never letting you go again. And you kiss him back with the same intent, holding him close while your bodies connected in instinctive rolls of your hips.
And again. It wasn’t for pleasure, but for connection. It was lost to you for weeks and now you have to make sure that nothing can ever shatter it again. The pleasure that comes with the repair is an unavoidable side product. Intense and deep and real. So goddamn fucking real.
Everything about this. It’s real. Your connection, your interwoven souls and the pleasure. Nothing ever felt as fucking real as being with Yoongi does.
Real and right.
So goddamn right.
And as he hugs you closer and kisses you and you finally feel whole again, you finally start to believe what Jimin told you all those endless days ago. No matter when or where, you were destined to meet Yoongi. No matter how long it would have taken or what form you would have possessed, your souls would have found each other because this is why they were brought onto this earth. And they would have turned into one again, colliding like two stars and together they would have filled the endless void with new galaxies and light.
This was always destined to happen.
Your souls were far apart once. Born at different times and different places and yet they found together. Many, many circles around the sun passed and with it your souls came closer and closer until they finally met when they were destined to meet.
You and Yoongi are right and you are real and this is exactly how it was always supposed to be.
“You feel so good”, he sobs, “you feel so fucking good.”
“You too”, you cry, “you feel so good too.”
“Please”, he begs, “please don’t stop.”
“I can’t stop. I couldn’t. Yoongi, I can’t stop.”
His hands are without home on your body. No rest. No pause. No break. They can’t stop exploring you. Feeling you. Remembering you.
And in the process, they help you to remember as well. How it is to be adored and loved and cherished. How it is to be mapped out to make sure he will always know where to touch. How it is to speak the same language of love.
And being touched and touching in return will always be one of the most intense yet comforting languages to speak with Yoongi.
You were on the brink of forgetting it these past nine weeks, but you remember again.
When his hands are on your hips and hold your waist, you know that you will always be taken care of. When his hands are closing around you in a tight hug, nothing can hurt you. When they cradle your face or caress your neck, you feel fragile but treasured. And when they intertwine with yours, you feel whole.
And in return, you remember that Yoongi shivers when you run your hands up and down his back. That he instinctively hugs you whenever you merely hint at hugging him. That he looks up at you with sparkling, adoring eyes when you cradle his cheeks. And that he whimpers softly whenever you hold his hands.
And tonight he looks up at you with his right arm around your waist and his left hand pressing your hand against his chest and as he does, he cries miserably. Tears cover his cheeks and his lips tremble unstoppably. And you think that you have never seen something as beautiful as this. He is here again and he is alive.
His hips still chase you. As are yours chasing his’.
“Please, p-please don’t leave me again”, Yoongi hiccups.
You shake your head vigorously, sobbing miserably.
“Please promise me.”
“I promise.”
Yoongi truly sobs. Like a little boy finally breaking under the pain. He pulls you close and buries his face in your neck. His hips speed up, his arms tense around you in their desperate attempt to melt with you.
“I love you”, he wails.
“I love you too”, you cry, hugging him back.
You find the highest form of pleasure very soon. It wasn’t the goal and yet it was destined to happen. The crescendo and very last attempt to deepen the connection. Just as Yoongi promises you with desperate shakes and a tight hug, you promise him with trembling fingers in his hair and his name at the tip of your tongue. You won’t lose each other again. Lights flicker around you as the emotion of being with him again overwhelms you. Yoongi holds you closer, keeping you with him, loving you just as deeply and it was okay again. You are okay again and it feels so goddamn good to be okay again.
You don’t leave his lap once you stopped shaking. You can’t leave it yet. You have to stay close and make sure that he won’t slip away again, crying into his shoulder because it seems that you just can’t stop crying.
And Yoongi holds you through it all, trying to comfort you whilst crying himself. He knows why he can’t stop. He doesn’t want to tell you, because he knows that it would break your heart, but Yoongi hasn’t felt that much physical pain in countless centuries than when he was trapped in this magical realm and crying is the only way to get over those memories. That and he was happy to be with you again. His most beloved person and the only thing that could heal even the deepest wounds.
You picked up the messy, scattered fragments of him and glued them together again until you created a picture of him which was beautiful and worthy of love, but most of all which, was always supposed to be yours. Your little picture to keep in your heart.
That is why Yoongi cries. Because he is relieved to know that he is yours.
“Yoongi, I feel so happy”, you confess, laughing and sobbing at the same time.
“Me too, my princess”, he agrees, rubbing his hands up and down your back just to make sure that you are real. It wouldn’t be the first time that he tried to escape into his memories. So many times Yoongi tried to flee into his favourite moments with you and for just a few moments they brought solace to him until the torment of his state dragged him away again and he was reminded that you were far, far gone from him.
This time around you feel real. Your skin is soft and warm and your scent is real. And yet somehow Yoongi still doesn’t believe it. He just mended the connection with you and yet he is still scared that the torture wasn’t over yet.
He lifts his head, cradling your face in his tender, loving hands. His thumbs run over your cheekbones, his eyes race between yours.
“This is real, isn’t it? I won’t be dragged away again, will I?” he asks. Pleads.
“Dragged away?” you furrow your brows in worry, “my love, what happened in there?”
“I just don’t want to lose you again”, this is all he can confess for everything else tasted too bitter to allow it to grace his tongue.
“And you won’t. Oh my love”, you cup his cheeks and it feels real to Yoongi. New droplets of tears run down your cheeks, “I dreamed of you whenever I fell asleep. I was with you and you were healthy and in those moments, it felt so real until I woke again and you were gone.”
Yoongi feels short of breath. He doesn’t dare to imagine the possibility that somehow through destined connection you managed to meet in those moments. When he fled into his memories and you fled into your dreams, your souls still found a way to meet and that in those short moments of your endless torments, you were connected again.
“I thought of you too”, he confesses because maybe not speaking his thoughts out loud would hurt more, “I met you in my memories and we were happy until I was dragged away again and…” he lowers his eyes, “I don’t want to experience what I had to endure ever again. That’s all you have to know”, he whispers.
“Oh my beloved”, you press out, deepening the touch to his face and with it tilting his head up, “it’s all over now. You don’t have to hurt anymore and I don’t know have to hurt anymore and, and we won’t have to meet in dreams again.”
Yoongi widens his eyes.
“So you think?” he begins.
The connection he feels in your eyes seems to strengthen. You both feel breathless because of it and yet don’t want to look away.
“Maybe?” you answer him.
“My love”, he whispers shakily.
“It would make the memory of those long weeks easier to bear, wouldn’t it?” you say.
He nods his head, lips curling into an honest and warm smile.
You smile, leaning closer.
He meets you in the middle, eyes falling closed when you stub his nose with your own. Your fingers caress his cheeks and Yoongi is melting, caressing your face gently with the hopes that you feel as good as he does.
“That felt like heaven”, he whispers, “what we just did, I mean.”
“Yes, it did”, you agree, eyes closed and skin tingling from his touches.
“Sorry for the crying”, he jokes, making you chuckle.
“Yeah, same”, you say, “I think that we needed it. I feel so much better now.”
“Me too.”
Your stomach lets you know that it felt better as well. Better, which in your case meant, starved. All the tension keeping you fed is gone and your stomach is finally telling you how it is.
“Oh my god”, you gasp.
“That was so loud”, Yoongi says, opening his eyes just to look at you.
“I haven’t had a proper appetite for weeks. I think it’s biting me in the butt now”, you confess.
“Princess”, he says with slight disappointment in his voice.
“Don’t princess me, I was so worried for you that food made me want to throw up”, you say with your stomach rumbling again.
Yoongi touches it gently, rubbing his hand back and forth slowly.
“Should we get food, my love?” he asks you in a soft voice.
You nod your head, “yeah, I guess”, you murmur shyly.
“Yeah? That’s good, I can’t have my princess starving”, he says, making you giggle because he is so gentle and loving and that feels so good to experience.
And so it happens that you and Yoongi clean up together and get dressed in your warmest clothes to take the car to the gas station. And you wander through the place holding hands and giggling like little kids because it felt so goddamn nice to be here together. The clerk still remembered you and he greets you with a big smile and contrary to last year, Yoongi greets him back with a brighter smile, leaving him a big tip because he felt like it. Then he took the bag and your hand and left the gas station kissing your cheek and the clerk watched you with great awe. She must have done good things for his heart, he thought and then allowed the fifty bucks to slip into his pants pockets.
“It’s snowing”, Yoongi says once outside, twirling around before pulling you close with his hands on your waist, “it’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is”, you say, touching him because this is all you wanted to do.
“Who would have thought that it will snow again. Right here” Yoongi says, “maybe this gas station is our spot.”
You smile, hooking your fingers behind his neck to pull him into a kiss. One Yoongi retorts happily, hugging you against him with his strong arms cradling you safely. You pull back, but stay close enough that your breaths intermingle into on united puff of white cloud.
“I wanna fucking spend eternity with you, Min Yoongi.”
“Good, ‘cause I wanna fucking spend eternity with you too, ___.”
You giggle and Yoongi smiles.
“And then each year we have to come to this gas station when it snows and kiss.”
“Deal”, Yoongi says, resting his forehead against yours.
Your eyes close at the same time. He cups your cheek, you do the same to him.
“Forever”, Yoongi whispers.
“Forever”, you promise him.
He kisses the tip of your nose, giggling when you reciprocate it. He makes you smile and kiss him again just because he is so adorable when he giggles.
“You’re so cute”, he says.
“You’re cuter”, you answer him.
“Mhm”, he lets out, opening his eyes, “we should probably leave now”, he whispers.
“Why?”
“There’s someone looking at us. He thinks that we’re cringe.”
“He’s cringe for thinking that”, you say, sending a look at the stranger. It flusters him to the point of looking away and trotting off. “Yeah exactly run away, you coward. I could make your brain come out of your nose if I wanted to”, you murmur.
“Okay, let’s not”, Yoongi says in a chuckle, tugging you with him gently, “let’s get you home before you commit magical murder at our spot.”
“In theory you started this trend when you punched off that guy’s head last year.”
“I only did that to keep you safe. Stop acting as if I did that just for fun”, he laughs, pulling you into him with his arm around your shoulder and his hand rubbing your upper arm.
“Be honest, you also did it to impress me.”
“And even if I did. Would that be so bad?”
You snicker, kissing his cheek. “No”, you say, “you’re so cool Yoongie Boongie.”
“This nickname is so silly”, he whispers, leaning in for a second kiss.
“You love it, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do”, he says, blushing vividly when you kiss him a third and for now last time. You probably would have continued kissing his cheek if you hadn’t arrived by his car and therefore had to get inside.
Yoongi turns to you once in the car. Your eyes meet. It never gets boring. Connecting with him through nothing but a look. Each time you do, it becomes more exciting.
Your bodies act at the same time. While Yoongi takes your face and leans in for a kiss, your body instinctively knew that it had to prepare for a kiss. Your eyes fall closed even before Yoongi’s lips touch yours and your heart is skipping beats after beats.
Yoongi and you moan into the kiss. The sound wasn’t for pleasure but for connection. To be with each other again leaves you unable to process it unless you make sounds.
He leaves his seat and climb over the gear stick so he can sit on your lap.
A loud honk startles you both.
His butt hit the steering wheel. He is halfway atop of you.
“You think someone heard us?”
“Yeah probably. Who fucking cares.”
“Right”, he agrees, “but still, we have to go home.”
“You were the one who kissed me first.”
“I can’t stop. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.”
Yoongi cups your cheek and sit down on you with his right arm around your waist and his big hand on your hip. His crotch presses against your tummy. The lose sweats he wears are doing nothing to hide him from you. He currently feels so soft there. Softness against your tummy and his weight on your lap. This makes you feels so good that it gets hard to breathe.
“I want more kisses”, he says, running his right hand to your face to caress it. His eyes are switching between yours and your lips. The orange lights from outside make them sparkle. You forgot how incredibly cute his nose looks and how pretty he is up close. You are fighting for air once more.
“We should get home, shouldn’t we?” you tell him, feeling up his hips and butt.
“Why do you not want to kiss me?” he asks and his eyes fill with tears, “did I do some-”
You interrupt him with the most passionate kiss. Yoongi whimpers, pulling you closer instinctively. His head is turning and air is sparse. He hopes it always stays this way. He had to suffer through weeks of suffocation and yet it feels good to be sparse of air now that he is kissing you.
“You didn’t”, you whisper, “but people are so close.”
Yoongi’s eyes drift outside. Yours do the same. The gas station is only a few steps away. There are five people inside and the clerk. They live their lives while outside in the snowy parking lot, you and Yoongi share kisses on the passenger seat of his car.
Yoongi looks back at you. You are gazing up at him with a fond smile on your lips and your eyes lowered halfway.
“Too many people?” you ask him.
But he shakes his head, “just let me be with you.”
“What if they see us?”
“Then let them stare”, Yoongi says and pulls you back into a kiss.
“Yeah, let them stare”, you murmur, pulling his hips snug against your body.
Yoongi moans into you, chasing you with wiggles of his hips and his arms closing around you in a hug.
Somehow in the journey of becoming one again, you manage to climb to the backseats. And you manage to slide down your pants just far enough that your connection can become as deep as it can get. And once again, it wasn’t for pleasure but for connection. However, neither you nor he could deny how much more desire there was in the movement. Your connection was being mended again, but it was also obvious to both that the need for pleasure was slowly returning to you and him.
Kiss breaks for air were spread throughout the heated moments and the once miserable sobs were replaced by breathy moans and gasps of each other’s names. Hands, once desperate to remember the language of touch, now grasp the other whenever bolds of warmth spread through your bodies. And eyes gaze at each other and meet hazy, intense pleasure in the gazes.
Your bodies and souls are slowly but surely healing. Your hearts are slowly but surely accepting that this was your reality again. That you and he were truly together again. And when that acceptance washed over you, you grabbed the handle and showed Yoongi how good you could love him while Yoongi forgot how to speak and trembled beneath you.
By the time you find your highs together, the windows are fogged up and snow covers the windscreen. And somehow, through the magical wonder of being with his soulmate, Yoongi’s once cold body managed to heat up enough that he felt warm to the touch. You also magically turned the hazard lights on without wanting to. They are now blinking and blinking and blinking away.
You sink into Yoongi. Your hand slips from the window, only an imprint in the fog remains. The car is filled with your quickened breathing and the rhythmic clicking of the hazard lights as you recover. Yoongi caresses your back, basking in your scent. He feels so intoxicated when he is with you. For a short moment, he wonders how he managed to be with you in the past without feeling dizzy all the time. And then he pulls you closer and buries his nose in the crook of your neck just to get even more of your scent.
“I can’t stop”, he murmurs into you.
“Don’t apologise. Neither can I.”
“I’m so scared to wake up.”
“This isn’t a dream.”
“It feels like one.”
You lift your head and look into his eyes. The connection, like always, is intense and leaves you wanting for the moment to last forever.
“I know it’s not my memories, but what if they are? I’m scared that I’m remembering”, he confesses.
“This isn’t a memory, my beloved love.”
“So you feel like a dream. You actually do.”
“You feel like a dream too. But then”, you furrow your brows, “no. No you don’t feel like a dream, you feel like home.”
“Home?”
“Home means feeling safe and as if no obstacle is too big because you have a place to call home.”
“I’m your home?”
“You’re my home. I never had a home. At least not one which made me feel safe and where I could settle for the day. You’re my home and I wanna make sure that you are always well taken care of. That’s what you do with a well loved home, you take care of it and you make memories with it and you know that you'll always return to it no matter how far you go.”
“___.”
You smile, “you’re my home, Min Yoongi”, you whisper and add, “you’re my home and I’m your land. I think that’s nice to be.”
“___”, Yoongi presses out, “___ please don’t ever leave me.”
“I won’t. I won’t ever leave you. You’re my home, remember?”
He nods his head and picks you up just to lie down on the backseat with you. He manages to do so in a way that allows him to nuzzle his face against your neck. He does so shuddering and with his fingers squeezing you.
“Please hold me for a while.”
And you do so gladly, finding refuge in the knowledge that the weight you feel on your chest tonight wasn’t because of heartbreaking failure but because of your healed and healthy Yoongi.
You hold hands as he drives you home, just as you hold hands as you both carry the grocery bag to the kitchen. It wasn’t heavy, you just didn’t want to stop touching each other.
The estate was still asleep. Not that you tried calling out for the others, but they definitely would have already come running had they heard you come out of the garage chatting about the heavy snowfall.
You don’t mind that everyone is still sleeping. Perhaps you are even a little happy about it. All you really want to do is spend time with him. With your Yoongi. No other distraction. Just you and him. You wished for such a moment for way too long.
“I need to drink something, no joke, I’m so freaking thirsty”, you say once you are in the kitchen, hurrying to the sink to get some water.
“You really should. It’s good for you”, Yoongi says, working to empty the groceries in the meantime. He stores everything in the fridge, except for what you will need for your pasta.
“Do you think that I had a fever? I swear I had to have something, I’ve never been that thirsty before.”
“It could be. You were really hot when I held you.”
“Mhm”, you acknowledge him and then down two glasses of fresh water. You set down the glass with a sigh, “that felt good. Do you want a glass too?”
“No, I’m good. Come help me with the bacon, love.”
“Of course, what do you need?” you hurry to his side.
“Look, I don’t know if I can cut it alone. I need your help”, he says, making you snicker because you figure out instantly that it was all just a scheme.
“Poor boy, of course I can help”, you say, placing your hands over Yoongi’s to help him cut.
This only really lasts a second and then Yoongi is nudging you with his nose, giggling as he searches for your lips. You let him find you instantly, giggling just as much. The bacon sits forgotten instantly as you turn to hook your arms behind Yoongi’s head and he twirls you just so he can lift you up on the kitchen island.
“Mhm, my prince”, you break the kiss, “will we ever get to cook?”
“I don’t know”, Yoongi rubs his cheek against yours like a cuddly cat, “can you feel my lashes?” he asks, tickling your cheek with them by blinking quickly.
“Yes, I can”, you squeak out, squishing his cheeks, “why did you do that?”
“I don’t know, I wanted to test it out”, he says, “do me”, he orders, leaning in to present his cheek to you.
“Oh my god, you are so fucking cute, I can’t fucking breathe”, you say, leaning in to connect your lashes with his cheek, “and?” you ask after blinking quickly.
“I felt it”, he scratches the spot you touched, “it tickled.”
“Yeah”, you say and giggle, “Yoongi my cutie Boongie why are you so cute?”
“I always was.”
“Oh? So we’re not denying it anymore?”
Yoongi glances at you sheepishly, leaning his weight on your thighs so he can snatch a kiss from you.
“Just tonight. I haven’t felt that alive in weeks.”
“Quite literally.”
He laughs, nodding his head in passionate agreement.
“I’m happy that you are, you know? And I’ll keep telling you that I am a million times more.”
“Good, I’ll keep telling you that I’m the luckiest man ever”, he says, picking you up from the counter just so he can hold you instead.
“You are?” you ask him, legs wrapped around his waist and hands tracing his neck and shoulders.
He nods his head, eyes lighting up as they race over your face. He likes that he has to look up at you that way. Because he does. He looks up at you so very much. You did all of that for him. You searched heaven and hell for a cure. You did that because you loved him so much that you didn’t want to let go. Yoongi always thought that he was destined to never experience such a love in his life. But here you are. Holding onto him as you are in his arms and he can look up at you.
“You’re so sweet”, you whisper, cupping his cheeks in your soft palms.
Yoongi leans into your touch as his eyes fall closed. He turns his head, placing a kiss on your palm and afterwards, he rubs the tip of his nose against it. Slow and gentle. To really savour the feeling of you.
“Mhm”, Yoongi hums in a smile, setting you down on the floor after kissing you once more. He swears that this is the last time. Yes, he will break that promise ten seconds from now when you try to cut the bacon again and he steals a sneaky kiss instead.
You squeak and giggle, “fleeing” from him by leaning into the kiss. Yoongi steals it successfully, giggling deeply as he rubs his nose against your cheek. You are so happy. So, so happy that you somehow manage to turn on the stove. Yoongi notices it instantly and turns it off again.
Your eyes meet.
“Did I do that?”
“Yeah.”
“But I didn’t even do anything.”
“It’s okay. I turned it off again.”
You gnaw on your lower lip shyly.
“Hey, it’s seriously okay.”
“Yoongi, I think I can’t control my magic”, you confess, “Meredith told me that I have lots of chaos in my head.”
“She did?”
You nod your head, “I can’t control my magic. I keep turning on lights and, and stuff. But only since you’re back. Before that, it was always…it was only in bad moments and when I needed to save you.”
“You triggered your magic when I was dying and then kept pushing yourself to do stuff you weren’t ready for yet. No wonder it is chaotic right now. Don’t worry, my love. I’m here now and we can fix this.”
“Can we really? I’m so scared that I’ll hurt you or the others because I can’t control myself.”
“You won’t hurt me. Trust me, nothing will hurt as much as-”, he hesitates and lets out a breathy laugh, sending you a helpless look.
You understand and cup his cheeks, caressing them softly.
“You won’t have to return to that place. I promise you.”
He nods his head, pressing out a small, “okay.” Then he lowers his eyes.
“Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing. I just…it will take some time not to remember how it felt.”
“And I’ll be with you the entire time, so don’t hold back on crying or, or asking for help. Yes?”
“Yes”, he whispers and rests his forehead against yours, “thank you.”
“Don’t. I’ll always be there for you.”
“Guys?”
You and Yoongi turn upon hearing Jungkook’s voice.
“Holy shit, since w-when? Oh my fucking god”, Jungkook gets out and then he is already by your side, having both you and Yoongi in a tight hug, “you’re finally awake oh my god”, he chokes out and sobs loudly, “you are finally awake! Oh god, I can’t believe this i-is real.”
“You’re acting as if you didn’t talk to me a few hours ago”, Yoongi laughs, rubbing Jungkook’s back.
“A few hours??” Jungkook lifts his head, showing you his teary eyes, “it’s been three days.”
“What? Three days?”
Jungkook steps back, nodding his head with his brows furrowed in seriousness.
“You guys slept for three whole days. We kept on checking on you, but you were both out cold and nothing we did could wake you. Oh god, I was so scared that you were gone. I can’t believe that you’re here again.”
“Three days”, you say, looking at Yoongi and realising that he is doing the same, “no wonder we feel that done.”
“Yeah”, Yoongi agrees and chuckles.
“I guess you guys really needed that sleep. You both look a lot better than you did three days ago”, Jungkook says, reaching for both of you, “I’m sorry, I gotta make sure that you’re actually here. Holy fuck”, he says and spills tears, “oh god, I want to cry.”
“You’re so cute, Kookie”, you say, reaching up to wipe his tears, “wanna join us in making food?”
“Yes of course. What are you making?”
“Pasta. Yoongi said that he knows how to make an authentic Carbonara.”
“Oh, that sounds yummy”, Jungkook says and wraps his arms around both your waists, squishing you together that way.
It cracks both of you up.
“I’m so happy”, Jungkook murmurs, face buried in the nook between you and Yoongi’s bodies, “oh my god, you guys don’t smell sick anymore. Just happy. I missed this so much.”
“You’re adorable”, Yoongi chuckles, ruffling Jungkook’s hair, “oh? Your hair’s grown quite a lot.”
“Yeah, I didn’t wanna cut it. I was so sad hyungie, I thought that I’d never see you again.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily, kiddo.”
“Good”, Jungkook mumbles and then squeezes your waists, “oh god, I want to merge with you guys. Let’s merge, so we never lose each other again.”
“Sounds like a plan, I’ll see if I can find something in my books”, you joke.
“No”, Jungkook shakes his head, “you’re forbidden from even opening a spell book for the next five decades. I’m not letting you get hurt again.”
You laugh, “okay, okay. Message received. Gosh Kookie, I can’t cut the bacon if you’re holding us like that.”
Jungkook thankfully lets go, but he stays close enough, changing between back hugging Yoongi and back hugging you, all whilst nuzzling his nose into the respective shoulder. You don’t mind that he was here now. On the contrary. He gives the best back hugs and he radiates such happiness, that your and Yoongi’s happiness feels ten times stronger too.
“Did you hear already by the way?” he addresses Yoongi, “___ has magic.”
“I know, I heard when she talked about it to me.”
“So you heard everything?” Jungkook gasps.
Yoongi looks over his shoulder, “yes Kookie, I heard you crying over me. I’m sorry I couldn’t just wake up then and there to hold you.”
“Oh god Yoongi”, Jungkook pouts, “I’m such a crybaby, I cried so much. Sorry for making you listen to it.”
“Don’t apologize. Hey, come get your kiss, Kookie.”
Jungkook leans in, giving Yoongi’s waist a tight squeeze the moment Yoongi’s lips connect with his cheek in a sweet kiss. Jungkook pulls back, exhaling just a little shakily.
“See? That’s so much better than crying, yeah?” Yoongi talks softly.
“Yeah, so much better”, Jungkook says, blushing shyly. He giggles and steals one more kiss from Yoongi even if that surprises the latter and he ends up stumbling from the force of Jungkook pulling him closer.
“Kookie”, Yoongi pulls back with a chuckle, “not so rough, I’m not back to full strength yet.”
“Sorry, I just missed you”, Jungkook whispers, “and you too”, he turns to you, attacking your cheek with a big smooch.
You giggle, leaning in to chase his sweet kiss.
“You’re so cute, Kookie.”
“Heh”, Jungkook lets out, resting his chin on your shoulder afterwards to sway your bodies from side to side slowly.
In the meantime, you and Yoongi fry the bacon together. You put it in the pan and Yoongi stirs. It is the perfect teamwork and continues as you prepare the eggs together. Yoongi cracks them while you stir.
“Did ___ already tell you about her grandma, hyung?” Jungkook asks, waddling behind you as you hurry to get the salt.
“She didn’t”, Yoongi sneaks a glance at you, “didn’t you tell me that she died a few years ago?”
“She did, but the craziest thing happened to me. To us”, you say, pointing at Jungkook, “we were out of options and felt hopeless so I told him about my grandma and that she definitely was a witch but that I never got the chance to talk to her about it. And then Kookie suggested that we might try to look for clues in her house with the help of my memories and so we travelled to my memories. And we actually managed to do it but then the craziest thing happened and she actually addressed us and talked to us.”
“Really?” Yoongi sounds genuinely surprised.
“Yeah”, Jungkook nods his head vigorously, “she could even see us and touch us, hyung. And, and I wasn’t a vampire anymore, just human.”
“You were?”
“He was”, you continue, “and we ate her raspberry pie. It was so good, wasn’t it?”
“It was heaven, so yummy and sweet. Hyung, I had a heartbeat”, Jungkook says, “it felt so good. It was racing so much whenever I looked at ___.”
“Kookie, the hell?” you gasp as you fluster, “don’t say that.”
Jungkook grins sheepishly, squeezing you softly before he kisses your cheek lovingly.
“Huh”, Yoongi lets out and scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. He turns to prepare the eggs in the hot water, “I can’t believe you guys managed to enter The Plains on your first try.”
“The Plains? What’s that?”
“It’s afterlife for witches. It’s between the realm of the living and the realm of the dead. You won’t believe it, but Namjoon was the one who created it long before we became vampires. He said it was to make sure that even in death we could continue to live together”, Yoongi lifts his head, staring at the ceiling with sad eyes, “yeah well, we can see how that turned out”, he whispers, before shaking his head to get rid of the sadness on his voice, “whatever. My point is, that it’s really fucking hard to enter The Plains as a living witch, let alone to bring a vampire with you”, Yoongi looks at you, letting his eyes run over your features, “you’re actually really fucking impressive, princess. Like honestly.”
“Oh uhm”, you feel your cheeks heat up, “I didn’t even know that it was that difficult to do. I just really wanted to see my grandmother again.”
“You can be proud of what you did. It took me a year to master it”, Yoongi says, “you have serious potential, I mean it.”
“No, I still have so much to learn. I barely even know anything and sometimes my magic overwhelms me and I don’t know what to do.”
“Undermine your talents again and I’ll whoop your ass”, Yoongi warns, “I mean it when I tell you that you have potential. I trained hundreds of witches in my time, but only a handful managed to teach themselves the level of magic you did. In the span of nine weeks, if I may add.”
“I think pure spite and anxiety kept me going”, you say.
“Princess”, Yoongi warns.
“Thank you”, you assure him, “I think that I still need a little time to realise it, but I’m a bad bitch.”
“You’re such a bad bitch, no joke”, Jungkook agrees, nodding his head vigorously.
Yoongi smiles, “you’ll get even better with proper training. I’m sure that in a few weeks time, you will have mastered even more magic.”
“You’ll help, won’t you?”
“If you want me to.”
“Of course I do. Who else gets to say that she’s getting lessons from the OG witch and OG vampire?”
“Wow, are these the only criteria which make me a good teacher?”
“No. I can kiss you like this too”, you say, sealing a sweet kiss from him, “and like this and this and also like this”, you say between kisses. The kind which melt Yoongi into a complete puddle of giddiness. “That’s the best part of it.”
Yoongi smiles, “I’m not the OG witch by the way. I was just a student”, he whispers.
“Doesn’t matter. You’re the original witch in my eyes”, you whisper, kissing his lips.
Yoongi smiles into the kiss, caressing your waist. He continues touching you when you pull back, gazing at you with love drunk eyes.
“It also means that we won’t have to lose ___ to age”, Jungkook says, “she’ll stay young like Meredith and her coven.”
You widen your eyes. Yoongi seems just as surprised.
“I didn’t even realise that yet”, you confess.
“Neither did I.”
You turn to Yoongi, taking his hands. Yoongi pulls them against his chest, eyes racing between yours.
“My love”, he chokes out.
You smile, “it’s actually eternity, my Yoongi Boongie.”
He laughs. You laugh. And Jungkook laughs too, picking the both of you up just to twirl through the kitchen with you.
“I can’t believe that this is real”, he laughs, “I love you guys so much.”
And as Yoongi picks you up after Jungkook set you down and then begins kissing you, you know that this right here was just the beginning of something eternally good.
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