#google says alternative rock idk

[mortally-beloved]

chase is so noise rock I can’t explain it

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 3 part 3

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

lilia: falling through time, desperately trying to help alice

agatha: bitch I'm trying to save myself!!!!! oh she's so awkward when she thinks lilia's going mad. she's a moment away from grabbing a broom and going there, there like in that 30 rock scene

I know they had a relatively low budget for this show and it was such a blessing in disguise. they invested in great sets and instead of cgi they relied on classic cinema tricks that I find so satisfying?? Idk if it's just nostalgia talking. here they simply move the camera away for a moment, lower the lights and move the actor in position, and it makes for an amazing jumpscare.

baby lilia asking 'vuoi vedere?' do you want to see? because it is a choice for lilia. for a long time she chose not to use her gift- she was simply too powerful, she saw too much, and the knowledge of the future scarred her and made her an outcast among others

alice's smile at seeing a vision of her mom T-T

why inconvenient? what was jen doing? she was an obstetrician and midwife. she was helping women out with herbs and pagan knowledge passed down from mother to daughter. Back in the day midwives were struggling to get their skills recognized in an increasingly male dominated field, they were advocating alternative treatments for women constantly humiliated by condescending modern doctors - from forced bed rest to insane asylums to lobotomy in worst case scenarios. think Charlotte Perkins Gilman's short story, The Yellow Wallpaper. think about everything that happened to Virginia Woolf.

we know that alice was a teenager when lorna died in a fire. she wasn't well, alice says, and we see now that she had a drinking problem. it's equally possible that the demon got to her or that she set herself on fire out of desperation. and if lorna could feel her own mother dying, alice could too.

daang great zombie makeup on the teacher lady

lilia when her incredible abilities made her able to see Death: burdened by knowledge way beyond the scope of humanity she goes into exile

agatha when her incredible abilities made her able to see Death: you know what I'm gonna tap that

I saw people saying that because the Road wasn't real nothing that happened in the show mattered, that they all died for nothing. I disagree completely, and not only because Billy's chaos magic is so astonishingly powerful that he can create a functional Road out of thin air. like, it wasn't a trick, he made it real. But more importantly, what happened to these women, their experiences, their growth on the Road is real. Even if Billy didn't do it on purpose, even if it's fucked up that a teenager can essentially go, you know what would be cool? if they all experienced their deepest trauma! but that's the point, that's the point, that's the whole damn point of the show. life is chaos and nonsense and heartbreak, it's up to you to find a meaning where there isn't any. look at lilia! the lesson is not that you're going to die, but what you choose to do with the cards that you're dealt, with the time that you're given.

while Patti clearly has an american accent, she is speaking correct sicilian, tutti morti su' - they could have had her talk in italian and hardly anyone would have noticed, but they went above and beyond with the details. the latin in the show is also rather impressive, like they actually hired experts rather than relying on google translate

agatha has gotten too used to run leaving a pile of bodies behind. not so easy to consider them just food when you have to live alongside them and witness their feelings, is it?? first wanda and now this!

@perpetualanon pointed out yesterday that agatha also had selfish reasons for wanting to save billy, i.e. she didn't want to risk him being poisoned because who knows what horrors a hallucinating billy could create. Yes! exactly that! it's always worth saying that when agatha has these fleeting moments of compassion and altruism it's in the context of a whole lotta selfishness. i think of her as that drawing of Stitch's badness level, her whole body is almost filled to the brim with awfulness and there's only a thin layer of goodness that she's constantly trying to smother. her actions on the Road are almost entirely selfish, but for the first time in centuries she's surrounded by people, like Lilia here and Jen and Alice and especially Billy, who are accidentally nurturing her almost atrophied good side. and lemme tell you she's pissed about it!

of course these two don't know what a sous vide is, one is dirt poor and the other eats people.

I'm gonna take a stand for zoomers here, he might have never learned what counterclockwise means, but millennials like me would also have hesitated and tried to picture it in our minds. because a lot of us lack spacial intelligence and are generally rather dumb

the shock and terror on her face when she hears nicky crying

another great special effect achieved only with lights and the cast shuffling out of frame

they show the darkhold because they need to mislead viewers and can't give nicky's story away just yet, but doesn't it make sense that agatha would see it? all these centuries blaming rio, and deep down agatha is haunted not by Death, but by her own actions and choices. the way she kept Nicky isolated and unsafe. the way she insulted his memory by going on killing sprees instead of letting herself mourn. the way she used the darkhold to corrupt her soul more and more, because she was never brave enough to confront her guilt.

kathryn hahn really said, do you want Emotional Devastation???? do you wanna see a woman SUFFER? do you want your heart put through a blender??? I can do that in TWO seconds

agatha wants to NOT DIE so badly that she has to drop the clown act and give jen a proper pep talk. because she knows what makes people tick and she can uplift just as well as she can destroy, she can help jen because she knows her so well. there's always that potential there, all of agatha's talent and her intelligence and experience could shape her into a great mother and sister in a coven. a potential that evanora refused to see and that will likely never be fulfilled.

and the irony, the irony of never wanting to hurt jen, to deliberately avoid going after her - because she's a midwife. because nicky was stillborn, because she had to give birth alone in the woods. agatha believes with all her heart that jen's work is fundamentally good and important. and yet she was the one who bound and tortured and violated her. she was so fucking focused on herself that she didn't even realize she was tramping and destroying everything in her path like a mad steamroller. she allied with the enemy, she went against her community's best interests. there's a lot to think about there, I really want to explore it more

patti during that hot ones episode

NOW YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER. and of course it's alice who does

your internalized stereotypes are really testing lilia's patience, billy (and while they consider the oven sharon is writhing and dying on the table)

how it started: jen pushing lilia out of the way

how it ended: "you are my sister in the craft" 🥲

I love you patti lupone

alice is strong! alice is noble! alice is pure of heart!

gee i wonder why

they had to add a goonies poster in billy's room because of this scene, but i guess disney didn't want to buy the copyright so the poster says "the goofballs"

agatha shoving everyone and then kicking jen twice for good measure

my guilty pleasure is watching reactors on youtube (don't judge) and everyone, everyone had my same reaction to sharon's death: she is not really dead. it was too unceremonious, too sudden. you cannot have debra jo rupp unconscious for half an episode and then get rid of her like that, she's too talented, too funny, how can they keep the humor up without her? if sharon is gone they don't want to watch anymore! no, they're gonna bring her back for sure, they're witches, they're going to find a way.

And then Alice dies, and it's unfair, it's too sad, she just had her big victory! that doesn't sit right with you, that the writers would do her so dirty. And then Lilia dies.

Wanda said it from the very beginning: we cannot reverse death, no matter how sad it makes us. Some things are forever. Sharon's death was horrible and uncomfortable and senseless on purpose, because these shows are about the exploration of grief. How can you make peace with the impossible? How can you reconcile yourself with a nice fun lady dying after losing her last shred of agency, scared and alone and forgotten? Didn't she deserve so much more than being just a casualty of witchfolk drama? And how can you reconcile yourself with someone as good and as wonderful as Alice dying in such a cruel way? What about the death of a parent? of a spouse? of a child? What about your own death, as inevitable and inescapable as your birth?

I'm posting this one early cos I didn't sleep last night and I wanna take a nap now 🥲 when I'm tired i ramble, I knew that already. sorry-y!

we get to episode four tomorrow, and y'all know what, or rather WHO, that means!

go to episode 4 part 1

[colorisbyshe]

"it is IMPERATIVE that you listen to weird niche music of some kind." And what weird niche music do you listen to hmmmmmmm

Oh, you got my ass!

To be upfront, I mostly listen to... the poppiest, most accessible versions of Weird Niche Music and I have been open about that! So, I might be posting more friendly songs from more experimental artists. Or I might be posting Really Popular Artists from more niche spheres--like "The Silver Cord" by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizards, which lots of people know of by now but the average person might not.

And I'm also rly open about also just... very sincerely loving vapid, formulaic pop music as well. So! Enjoy those caveats, enjoy this list

"Juxtaposition" Silica Gel is the middle point between cerebral and abrasive Korean rock. They just released an album, check out the entire thing.

"Dancing When You're Dead" STAP Sigh Boys. Kinda funky, weird vocals, but also just a nice, retro sound with modern trappings.

"American Psycho" .grouptherapy. Alternative hip hop with guitar on this track but they're great at tackling and morphing many genres (see their collab track "Disco Pantz" vs "FUNKFEST" vs "Thatsmycheck")

"Aladdin" Wednesday Campanella. I suppose if you've been into Japanese EDM, even via anime and video games, this sound isn't that niche but it's still fun. Found via my dashboard.

"The Mad Stone" Everything Everything. Their entire discography, actually but this song is the most... out there in recent times. Starts off with a twee, folksy sound that actually kinda pisses me off btu then really pushes boundaries and transforms into something new.

"Captain" redveil. The entire EP this is from is a lightly experimental landscape. He was featured on a JPEGMAFIA track if that clarifies the playground he's in.

"Calla" Rubio. Actually, a kinda convention sound in that it fits the kinda slow, sweeping synth sound that you'd associate with a time past. I just wanted to highlight Rubio because he's Chilean and it's more difficult to find info on him (in American) than it should be!

Or like, I could recommend "Mephisto" by Queen Bee, which is Japanese Rock, but has near operatic elements but... was an ED for an extremely popular anime.

But that invokes a question, doesn't it? What is NICHE and weird music? I feel like the more you explore and open up your mind to music that isn't just fed to you via Tiktok or Similar Interest Algorithms (where you're confined to 1.5 genres), the harder it is to confidently say your music is niche.

Is something niche if it's popular in a different country/culture than you? Is it just niche if your friends don't know their name but their sound is the same as/nearly adjacent to what's on the radio? Is it still niche if, yes, it's part of a more narrow subculture BUT it's like... baby's first artist in said subculture/subgenre?

Like... before Kpop got bigger in the west, if someone told me Shinee was niche, I'd still be like ??? SHINEE?? But to someone who has never ventured into kpop or even "foreign" music before, yeah, I could see the argument.

I listen to "Sezon Pomidorowy" by Franek Warzywa & Młody Budda and hte sound is definitely weird (Polish musicians bringing an almost hyperpop sensibility to a song structure that is a lot more... acoustic than that?) but I found them via a big music critic and I think they have had big songs on tiktok. (I would not know but google mentioned something about tiktok, so idk.)

The point about encouraging people to listen to more niche music isn't necessarily to have people prove Their Music is Truly Weird (I don't think any of the music on this list is that weird) but more to encourage people to try out music outside of what is fed directly to them.

In part, because I think people have a looot of music that they would LOVE but just do not naturally encounter via following trends, and it would benefit both them and the musicians if they discovered said music.

But, on a selfish note, also because I think it makes it harder for people to hype up truly rote music as Revolutionary because, well, you'll encounter more experimental music that has Already Done the Thing.

I've said before, there is no bad taste in music (outside of VERY rare exceptions) but there is underdeveloped taste in music. And I think not exploring different sounds, musicians, genres, national outputs means not being equipped to truly judge music.

So like I could list dozens of songs I don't think any of my followers would know by musicians they've never even heard of but that kinda... misses the point.

That post isn't a DPS Check for Rare Music but rather a place to say... hey, have you tried new music recently? Clicked a music rec from a mutual that sounds almost scary to you? Have you been scared off a song because it's not in a language you speak? Listen anyways. Does a genre sound startling? Try a song in it anyways.

Maybe you don't like it. That's fine! But you fucking tried it!!! And that counts for something.

[wrongcaitlyn]

Idk how I haven't thought of this already as a huge mitski fan, but "Francis forever" is so totally a song nico would have written about bianca

(And i know its a romance song but it can be interpreted otherwise since its quite vague)

(And i also know its not rock or pop, but i still think it fits!!)

finally got around to listening to it and then i realized ive heard this before and OHMYGOD??? ITS SO GOOD?? idk why ive never gotten into mitski she’s one of those artists that like i feel like i should listen to but never get around to😭 i actually think that it def has some rock and pop elements (and also looked it up online to confirm my suspicions bc tbh genres r wack and don’t rlly make sense a lot - google says it’s a blend of indie rock and alternative pop which is very nico)

i def have to figure out an album to add this to. ahdksjd so much good music, these lyrics also?? the part that i had known (from tiktok, ik, lame) but “on sunny days i go out walking / i end up on a tree-lined street / i look up at the gaps of sunlight / i miss you more than anything” is SO😭😭😭

anyway. absolutely obsessed. thank u so much for recommending this !!!

[imtrying-butimpissed]

i saw that you quit treatment today and i wanted to reach out to offer another type of help. idk if you've tried groups but i have a full google doc of them that might have some winners in it. i can't vouch for any of the groups on the list (except for the one im in!), but i can say that groups saved my life when it comes to my ed. almost four years ago now i was in a real horrible place and nobody would take me for outpatient and i relied on groups, and like i said, they saved my life. if you want the resource i can send it to you, but i dont wanna pressure you into it. like i said, i only know from my experience in groups, but recovery is worth all the work that goes into it. it's hard and a lot to deal with, but i promise that it's better than living life with an active ed. if you need support i can message you off anon, i just wanted to let you know that there was alternative support out there.

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to message me, you rock. I appreciate your offer but I'm just no longer interested in attempting any groups anymore.

I've tried doing treatment in the past and it just wasn't helpful. And this time around was a higher level of care and still unhelpful. I was meeting with a group three days a week, meeting with a psychiatrist, meeting with a nutritionist, and it just didn't fit me. It was all just wasting my time. I'm too jaded to get anything out of group when all they talk about is shallow surface level topics and the nutritionist treats me like an idiot. I stop caring.

My nutritionist was a bitch. Every time she spoke to me she was rude as hell for no reason. I just wanted to get better.

The groups took HOURS in the middle of the day taking away from my work schedule and taking away from my paychecks. Everyone was younger than me and couldn't relate to their struggles. The activities in group weren't helpful to me ten years ago and weren't helpful to me now. I fully decided to leave after the psychiatrist asked our group if our "eating disorder allows for self compassion" ......

No fucking shit. What are we stupid??? Obviously the answer is fucking NO. God damn. Every group meeting has been that: stupid obvious questions that mean nothing. Hours in group today and all we did was "therapy" for less than an hour and we watched a Ted talk. The rest of the time was a fucking waste of nothingness.

Immediately out of there. I recover better on my own anyways. I have zero interest in doing any groups any more.

HOWEVER

If you're able to send the link I'd love to share it here so others who see it can take a look and see if it helps them!!

[fuck-you-blue]

tw: Ryan : ( grooming accusations. ) tw: joel ( bullying and harassment. )

[ I mixed them up and thought Joel was the groomer... sorry Joel. but stop being a bully.... jerk... that 's rude. ]

acting segment... ' please take the dick out of your mouth '

Gus is being a diva... miles... this bit is not funny.... woof.... Chris looks real. Gus is dead... The panther took Gus's place.

an unopened can of coke... exploded...

Gus and Miles play gta... Gus plays golf in gta...

Burnie prank at Michal and Lindsay's wedding... Gavin's ringtone... Monty goes a piece of cake... because Burnie pranks him...

Burnie and Gus plotting a panel name. Alternative Careers in Gaming.

Geof's girlfriend talked to Trees. Geof's girlfriend hugs trees...refuses to be seen eating.

Google or Gavin... CAN YOU BREAK YOUR LUNGS?! Do babies poop... do babies float...

Joel is bullied by tech. Computers problems... Burnie ... Geof vc : Joel kicked the power cord out...

Gus watched a bully stab a nerd...

Gus talking about Death Rising being more western..Candian ...

Gus asking about the infinite ... Burnie ROCK...

Gus staring at his yard... GET OFF MY PROPERTY.... at no one.

Burnie talking about Godzillia...

Geoff arrested for Gaming while Drunk. Ukraine xboxes...

Geof tells a story about pisses his pants in a lets play... ( had a dream about a party.. peeing in the dream)

Billy has stolen cable. Geof's weird friends.

Geof and Gus meet Matt... Gus really hates VEGAS.... Del taco parkinglot... Gus : I swear to god if you mention Vegas, Burnie : I will not mention Vegas. Retelling the story with 'better animation '

Geof asking about cable stealing stories... black box to steal cable... Michal's friend had spice tv. 13 yr old kid recorded it on VHS.. Ray sells Pokemon card.

Emily calls Gus over. - Miles... talking about the email address for the account. A PASSWORD was stolen. Miles gasps about the email being - Gus and Miles were In the same room.... and didn't notice.

Gus talking about bathroom awkwardness... - the bathroom doesn't lock....

Joel : quiet drawer... guy was left in a morg drawer

Burnie is being pestered by Brandon - the George foreman grill... GEORGE FOREMAN met at the bbq...

Burnie has a snail assassin.. about million dollars...

Gus gets drunk at a hot tub. destroys something... a whole bottle of vodka.... he peed on a snowman. threw up on the wall...passed out.

Gus is not allowed to pilot a plane. Ester forbid it.

Burnie talking about a friction collation.

Burnie telling Gavin about home - That message turned my phone gay... because he gave a sweet message to Gavin.

Chris shaking his dick and making a noise...

idk who this is.... apocalypse kit... with a costume. ( Blaine )

Gavin or Google... ' Why can't a dog just relax when the doorbell rings ' ' why can't a dog and cat breed. ' gus talking about his dog being chill about it.

Burnie gets asked for a selfie... a guardian is keeping him on task. Mom keeps calling him. HE thought it would be a better story if he left...

Burnie shadow puppets... Burnie dragging Gus about not being able to make friends. Burnie....pls...

Geof flirting in the next car... 17-year-olds... universal roll down. time for you to go to bed buddy.

Burnie thinking about a bug on the plane... being confused.

calem posing ...Geof took a football and left. gave him a basketball...

Joel ' something wrong with me... ' Gavin freaks out about his health. Burnie comments - ALMOST CONCERNED...

Gavin ... The sky is bigger than the ground. Gavin can you hear through your head. gus keeps laughing at what he's saying... Gavin asking about brains.

Michal tells a story about Geoff farting in his coffee.... Gavin drank it...

tw : Ryan. a conversation about fungus... spore... achievements. Michal is yelling about it.

Gavin telling a story about a girl noticing him from her shirt.

Burnie sent a text about Barbara. ' help me' Barbara shut off her phone... Burnie is worried about her now.

Gus talking about helium... Gavin : get a bucket.

Barbara unimpressed...bacon fries...

Matt signing with Gus.. Superman panel. Margo kidder... talks to him. 10 speed bike- Margo leaves ...

Robot car... Chris talking about robot cars fixing things... ( LAUGH TRACK ) --

Barbara PUNS INCOMING... Drone-min-nos...

Pulp or no pulp... argument. Domin-drones.. Barbara drone-kun-man.

Poopy pants... Miles gets sick.... BOWEL PROBLEMS ... miles Cahnz you comez helpz me... Miles threw up so hard he pooped...

Burnie was busted watching porn... blutooth played the porn on his car speaker.

Gus dream - Gus's dog goes into a bar.... Dog walks up the stairs... Gus angry about him rubbing his face... Bejamin...

Burnie dream... about a burger.. Colt said the burger was the best. the hamburger haunts him.

prompts : Godzilia all girls school.... Joel is extra af... It keeps going form a calm voice to Joel who's shouting for no god damn reason. Jack and Joel are talking -

Lindsay pokemon card on Sunday... Lindsay lies about pokemon cards...

Gus talks about a researcher... diseases ... talks about stealing a house of fire...according to Gus.

Drunk Matt story...by Gus. ( Mat is Sarge's va ) Geof and Gus going to a bar with Mat ... Mat drunk and wandering... Matt at a self-check-out to buy more beer...

Gus had a Ball-tra-sound. Burnie telling a story about guy getting a butt of helium ... Bad puns ...

Drunk MAT PART 2 , Gus talking about drunk Mat... in a subway shop... Mat ... Geof and Gus are having a conversation - Gus telling story about the bar chick flashing her boobs... Geof ... didn't see the boobs...

Joel is drinking a lot... Matt got kicked out of a blackjack table - and knocked over all the drinks.

Crash definition.

Gus talking about Geof and him stealing things... ( wait did I already watch this one O w O;;;; )

RYAN TW.... Gavin being harassed by Ryan. asmr ... I feel uncomfortable...

Geof and Jack at a party... contact party... Geof drinking absint... Geof didn't realize he was too drunk. Geoff freaks out...

Burnie telling a story about an e3 lounge... mike barns... I'm Micheal Burns... I'm michal barns... WHOS ON FIRST... Bernie...

Geof introduces Michal to first class... Gary Busy... is very talkative...

Tw : Joel_Heyman ( allegedly bullies and harassed other employees )

tw: Ryan : ( grooming accusations. )

Gavin Minecraft... friendly creeper.. ( his parents. )

Gus v the fucking squirrel... he has a fruit and veggies... gus has a war against the pecan...

Burnie gives a speech about jason ... burnie goes to sit and falls down because Jason pulled his chair out.

Burnie's brother made him breath his farts...

Burnie found a bird... cat ... ( Joel tw )

Geof got hit in a parkinglot of a gas station... dented forehead.

pizza... Gavin gets a pizza... 20 minutes... ( Ray stole Gavin's pizza. ) michael

Miles plays drunk detective... Miles ... gets pizza...

Burnie talking about the future with the black box, with technology... the people in the early 2000s worshiped cats...

gavin gets attention from dudes... who's that young man he's beautiful. Chef cooks him food. Flirting ... the producer put his photo at the chef.

Burnie in fight... Woke up in a hospital...

Burnie looked at the sun... was told the treasure was located by the blue dot.

Burnie has a ' gus ' moment. Burnie just staring at the apple store....

Burnie trying to transfer... Gus and Burnie fighting. Joel vc fight fight fight kiss kiss kiss...

Miles as a cashier.

Miles doesn't get to go to the birthday party... kyle. Yegar ... Zack's floor too... ' of course I'm ok....' I'm woverine.

Geof asks for a celebrity. Gavin and Geof banging each other.. in other bodies... wHELP...

Geof trying to do a water prank. Mom ...

Barbara talks about caffeine-free Mountain Dew. Barbara jokes.... Telling horrible jokes.

Burnie talking about Gus's hyper fixations - Burnie tells a dad joke.

JOEL TW : meat diet... Vegatarian diet v Meat.. Potato bar... Taco bar... WHAT HAPPENED TO THE POTATOES... synthetic bacon..bits...

Burnie's kids say some shit... the kid tattles on him. LOOK YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AROUND COPS.

Burnie colon cancer... the doctor refuses to... SHOVE SOMETHING UP MY ASS...

Gus in security but a man RAN through the metal detector.

Burnie and Gus in a plane... Gus shrugs after they don't land.

Gus freaks out in Japan. - Moment of clarity ...

Miles has a weird dad. Bluebonnets... Christmas cards... Baby got bit by a rattlesnake. Dad starts laughing. - I just remembered a skit.

Wet dreams... Burnie on a plane. Geof is next to him. Burnie calls Geof dreamy...

Gus and guy playing GTA

Burnie talking about horses again...

Gavin drinks coffee badly...

geof talking about shitting his pants... Gavin was told about the shit-pants. RIP the couch...

Gavin is TOO RELAXED. Burnie watches him freak out by being startled.

Burnie and Gus yelling at each other about physical media... ONE DAY THEY WILL KISS...

Burnie lost his keys.

Geof burned ants... had a friend who set fire to things. the entire vacant one caught fire.

Barbara - dan is into cross-eyed girls.

Burnie talking about phones or leaks... gus and Burnie talking about the i-phone leaks. Burnie and Gus are yelling at each other about stupid shit... Joel heyman TW...

Micheal punches a toilet....or something.

joel tw : fight... drunk - don't throw bottles...

Gus telling a story about chopsticks... and cutting his dick off...

Gus's wife is angry at her - Gus hears the dog whimper but not his wife.

Burnie talking about the voice message - being interrupted by Gavin

Gus talking about Brandon asking if he had a gift.

Gavin in Spain... Gavin made a woman who was injured take photos. ( drunk )

Burnie has a weird dream : linsay has a fitting Michael can't see him in his wedding dress... invisible by unmarried men.. Linsay in the army... the married soldiers see her. Gus was a scientist ... wedding rings... are the key. Gavin gets strippers... to come in. this man is gay... and criticizes her wedding dress... gay marriage is legal. Gus marriaging michal to a blank space ' I do' they're married... what...

Gus's strange dream Oswald... Miles and Erin living with Grey... a labodor ... his dog becomes a candy cane. - Your dog is eating your dog... MY DOG FACE...

Laser tag story... everyone is running... miles, Michal Linsay and such...

Gus gets a new bill ... gas company... new tenant... Peggy... the previous house owner.

Burnie 's computer was being used constantly...

mute function... to a caveman...

Burnie goes exploring... Geof is afraid of snakes...

Burnie freezer story...

Gus and Ester story... Gus had to be responsible...

Burnie and Gavin are being attacked by shoes..

Michal is not winning... minecraft convo... Michal saves a cow... Ryan gets the cow back

Michal gives phone to a dude...

Burnie sees a fight... Burnie goes to help the girl... She has sex with people for money...

Burnie got a speeding ticket... 45 mph - an 11-year-old... keeps asking how fast he's going ...

Gavin talking... WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME.... wasn't sure it was a dream.

Miles shoves his brother down the stairs and throws his brother down the stairs too..

Matt got a sub in a tub. he wanted a fancy presentation.

Carry miles and joel - he curses his unborn baby...

Geof got two cookies.... gave them to Jack's desk.

Burnie talking about science projects... Atom smasher...

Burnie talking about Dan ordering all kinds of girlie drinks at the restaurant... 350 dollars....

Gavin and Gus being a girl in the text. Burnie tried to send ok to a threesome.

Burnie's friend won a trip to the emergency room...

burnie flips off the school bus...

Miles sees a tiny mouse. Miles's roommates are trying to catch a mouse.

Burnie's neighbors are annoyed by him. his friend is commenting the on an unbuilt house.

Gavin - starving...

Old Geoff ... Millie talking about him being old... that mommy will have to marry a new daddy....

Gus is too skinny and his arms are too long for a suit.

Gus held hostage... a quick survey. rate it on Google. makes him write a review. Gus is forced to put a new review... he's being bullied... by them. Burnie - the dudes a cunt.

[rottingflovver]

Random relationship headcanons for the Decay of Angels boys!!

I love my evil husbands, enjoy this trainwreck

Fyodor Dostoevsky 🐁

Oh God. He smells like…a sewer rat

I'm not even joking like he probably smells unpleasant (not to the point where it's noticeable tho, only if you're really close to him)

If he's feeling fancy he'll throw on some cologne but don't bet on it

Hair is also really greasy

He scarcely eats but he's a big fan of sweet food (think ice cream and baked stuff) and trad. Russian food

Please for the love of God force this man to eat

He'll forget to eat + drink on a daily basis because he gets so caught up in work, how is he even still alive

Did I mention he also doesn't sleep

HOW is he canonically one of the smartest people yet he does stuff like this fr

If he trusts you (Lord knows how you'll achieve that) and he's tired (as per usual) he won't be opposed to the thought of just downright collapsing onto you

You'll rarely see this man anyhow, but when you do he'll just be sleeping

What a great boyfriend am I right (It's okay he needs the rest, plus patting his hair as he sleeps is kinda nice)

I believe his favorite places to have dates at are his or your apartment

Away from the public eye; just the two of you, alone

He can play his cello for you!

He'd encourage you to try it out as well, but you'd be so terror stricken by the thought of what he'd do to you if you broke it somehow that you just...would rather pass

I doubt he'd ever actually hurt you tho; yes, he's extremely distrustful and arguably heartless, but if you haven't done anything to insinuate you want to betray him…he'll be tame

Also, did I MENTION how cold he is

Maybe that's why he wears winter clothes in such warm weather ㅡ cuz otherwise he'd just freeze to death

Warm him up pls

Although he's not used to just casual physical contact so when you start holding his hands to warm them up he'll look at you like "??? Do you want to die??"

Once you explain it to him he's like "Oh"

His giant ego won't let him express it but know that he appreciates it

Also, this is a given, but Fyodor is extremely manipulative so you'll never really be sure if his feelings are sincere or not

Nikolai Gogol 🤡

I had to Google "what do clowns smell like" for this aye-

The answer: apparently cabbages and cotton candy

I really like that idea so I'm sticking with it xhsjhx, Nikolai smells like either cabbages or cotton candy; no in-between

Loves piroshki!!! Any kind!!! For reference; piroshki are small boat-shaped buns which can be both sweet and savory, as it depends on the filling (most common fillings include: ground meat, mashed potato, mushrooms, boiled egg with scallions, or cabbage. Typical sweet fillings are fruit (apple, cherry, apricot, lemon), jam, or quark)

Why did I just give a small piroshki lesson

Anyhow, yes, that's his favorite food so pls buy a lot of them for him (if you make them yourself he'll be so deeply touched, but be careful, he tends to see positive emotions towards someone as brainwashing)

Is he a bad cook??? Is he a good cook??? Does he just simply steal everything via coat and make it seem like he's the one that made it?? We don't know

His favorite places to have dates at are carnivals or theaters

He loves theaters so much omg

I have a feeling that if you told him he'd make a great actor he'd just evaporate out of joy

And he WOULD make a great one tho?? This man got talent

I'd imagine you're pretty much the only person he would ever open up to regarding the insane amount of guilt he feels

(Yet again, be careful, he's very unpredictable when it comes to people he grows fond of)

Do comfort him if he ever breaks down tho, please

Sleeping together? With this man? It's a wild experience

He moves around so much

He's also prone to night terrors (like I said, insane amounts of guilt) so if he ever stops moving you should probably wake him up, cuz that's a nightmare so horrible he just froze in place

Give him hug

Sigma 🎲

Sigma smells nice no cap

It's a mix of lavender and mint

Don't ask how that works it just does

I think he'd be the type to like any kind of food as long as it's lovingly made

He has no standards but at the same time he has extremely strict standards y'know

There's nothing specific he likes but if he likes it then he Likes It

He gets called a rock musician and people say he looks "alternative" when he's literally walking around in a suit but I digress

He'd let you do his makeup

I'd say he'd even encourage it

(Give him a punk rock alternative makeover lmao)

Also, to no one's surprise, his favorite place to have dates at is the Sky Casino

It's his home! He's proud of it!!

Please be proud of him as well it would mean the world to him

He's so cheesy, he'll stay stuff like "I feel most at peace with you, you are my home", and then get super embarrassed

If you smile fondly at him and say you like him just the way he is, cheesy remarks and all, you will be charged with murder because this man will DIE

He's so confused when it comes to a lot of stuff

Like he once asked "is interesting an emotion" and NO ONE answered him (poor bb :() but like be prepared for a lot of questions like that

Take your time and explain it to him, he'll be so grateful

Ngl, out of these 3, he's the best option bc he's not unreachable (cough cough Fyodor) and doesn't strive for emotional freedom so much that he'd kill whoever he grows attached to (cough cough Nikolai)

Soft husband

A little bit clingy but can you really blame him

Just be there for him, it'll be alright

Ivan Goncharov (bonus!) 🤕

He's in the Rat House not the DOA but I wanted to include him

(We stan Ivan in this house)

He's completely devoted to Fyodor

Idk how you'd ever even strike a conversation with him given he's constantly by the rat man's side

I'd imagine you'd have to be either a past friend (which I doubt he'd welcome) or an underling of Fyodor as well

Either way, please be kind to him

I think his devotion to Fyodor is a LITTLE bit unhealthy so if possible just draaag him away from that (will be very difficult to do)

He smells nice, like an expensive brand of shampoo and conditioner

I'd imagine his hair is really soft too, he'll gladly let you play with it

Braid it!! He'll look so pretty!!

BE GENTLE with the wound on his head, Fyodor isn't a professional surgeon, so even though the incision itself was a success he didn't really patch it up correctly

Just be gentle with it, if possible, take him to the hospital to get it checked out

He loves classical music!!

Expect to hear that playing in the background a lot

If you start helping him with the chores (like making tea and cleaning) at first he'll think of it as an insult to his ability, but after a while it'll grow on him

He'll learn to appreciate the little things

If you have any kind of favorite dish; he'll be frequently making just that

Likewise, if you ever request for something different, you'll get it made perfectly, just for you

A good, happy boye, deserves better

[sokkagatekeeper]

I think with zukka it’s the exact opposite as soulmates like in every way these two should’ve never even met let alone connect but they did and they do and they balance each other out in so many ways... them being together isnt fulfilling some serious destiny them being together is being able to let their guard down and being who they were never allowed to be: youthful, and playful... essentially when I think of zukka I think of laughter and the heaviness one’s heart feels when they’re nearly overwhelmed with happiness. No fate, no destiny, no titles... just being.

i think that in order to break down what sokka and zuko’s relationship means in relation to soulmates especially interpreting this relationship as romantic, we need to start with the basics. get ready for a long and probably pretty wordy ride.

let's start with the meaning of the word “soulmate” specifically in fandom. the most common perception of a soulmate in fandom is that your soulmate is quite literally the other half of your soul, meaning that without this romantic interest you are somehow incomplete. now, what the hell is a soul? according to my dear friend google, a soul is “the spirit or the essence of a person, and the part of the person that makes them who they are and will be even after death.” is it even possible to split a soul in half? well, in my opinion everyone in fandom is essentially insane, so i’d rather say that no, it is not possible for a soulmate to be the other part of your soul, or for another person fictional or otherwise to complete you as another person, fictional or otherwise (when it's fictional, a soulmate can add depth and nuance, maybe?? but not complete. what the fuck does complete even mean). i have a more interesting interpretation of the meaning of a soulmate at hand, specifically because my first language is spanish: the closest thing to the word “soulmate” in spanish is alma gemela, literally “twin soul.” i believe it is much more interesting to interpret a soulmate as a person whose soul is a mirror to yours, or a reflection. a complement. the notion that someone is perfect and made for you romantically is essentially full of shit and a very lazy mindset, but anyway. 

if we’re talking about being destined to meet a person, or being different faces of the same coin, or stuff like that, then of course this is a thing in fiction. aang and zuko and katara are definitely soulmates in terms of being destined to meet and change each other in a meaningful and earth-shattering way. the concepts of destiny and fate are not only an actual thing in atla, but also very prominent and loud in themes and narrative, and in the mindsets and beliefs of the characters themselves; it heavily influences their actions and approach to other characters, especially zuko. from his perspective, zuko’s dynamic with aang throughout the show and in general (meaning before and after he joined the gaang) is in part shaped by his sense of morality, and in part by his belief that his destiny is somehow intertwined with aang’s (he was right, of course), similarly to how katara approached aang (too, as a beacon of hope) or even how she saw zuko as a definitive enemy (in contrast to how sokka saw zuko as pretty much a fool and a recurrent inconvenience) aang, katara, and zuko’s dynamics with each other are all somehow related to destiny, the general concept of soulmates as a mirror of your soul, whether consciously or unconsciously. this is part of what makes them the central thematic trio and the heart of the show.

knowing all this, let’s go back to sokka and zuko. in short, as i’ve said before, to each other they are just… some guys. to elaborate, to sokka, zuko was just 1) some guy in the way, another inconvenience that occasionally got in between him and in his business with the avatar, whom he didn’t respect at all and didn’t think of as an enemy, 2) just some guy to be wary of for all of the aforementioned reasons, and 3) some guy, but cool and nice and a friend, possibly a love interest?? idk we’ll see!! meanwhile to zuko, sokka was 1) some guy in the way, another inconvenience that occasionally got in between him and in his business with the avatar, whom he didn’t respect at all and didn’t think of as an enemy, 2) some guy, who is amazing and cool and he will break into a prison with him because why not?? so we can safely say, while there are direct parallels between them and are definitely connected in some spiritual way (as are all of the gaang, in my opinion!!), sokka and zuko themselves do not know that. the weight of being meant-to-be in their relationship is nonexistent, and i definitely agree that they can relax around each other in that sense, especially zuko (who believes in destiny therefore i mention him a lot, in comparison to sokka who does not believe in destiny therefore doesn’t carry the weight of anf his relationships being shaped by it which. they arguably are, as it is a story that was predefined, but that’s for another day). it’s been talked about that the most compelling thing about sokka and zuko’s relationship revolves around the concept of choice. the boiling rock is the only life-changing field trip that zuko was initially denied, but insisted on going anyway. he decided to go out of pure selflessness, solely to help sokka, in contrast to him being quite literally required to go as aang’s teacher/to prove himself and get katara off his back (as well as other subconsious reasons, that, too, for another day). zuko went with sokka because he thought he was dope, and as we all know zuko cannot do anything half-way so he decided he would die for the guy (valid of him, by the way). their entire relationship is just subversion after subversion after subversion.

it’s also related to sokka being just some guy, not only as he believes himself to be but also how sokka is pretty much the fourth part of the thematic triangle that aang katara and zuko have going on. he balances each of their pure hearts and idealism with a sharp mind and bitchy but useful pessimism. sokka being just some guy to zuko’s deuteragonist is the thematic equivalent of sokka being a main character and suki being a secondary character. it works because the weight of universal forces just isn’t there, and it works better than (in my opinion!!) katara and zuko or (to a lesser degree) aang and katara being romantically involved for the same reasons.

and anyway. when it comes to fandom interpretation, it’s very easy to think of every parallelism/symbolism as a sign of two characters being meant to be together romantically, or whatever. and while it is fun, most parallels (at least among the gaang) are mostly to show how the characters are able to understand and connect with each other whether romantically or platonically (and the destiny in fiction thing i’m too tired to talk about again), so the parallels between sokka and zuko are not entirely irrelevant to their romantic potential — people are also quick to think every parallel/trope/catchy line about their relationship is shallow and stupid and soulmates suck anyway!! and therefore i’m asking you all to calm down and find a middle ground. not every parallel/trope/etc is romantic and not every parallel/trope/etc is dumb and irrelevant. when it comes to the infamous “prince and the fool” for example, some people take it as the ultimate proof of their love and some think it’s utter nonsense and a cheap version of the zvtara’s moon/sun dynamic. and both of them are wrong!! “the prince and the fool” is in fact pretty much like “the wise and the brave” of katara and sokka. it is merely a descriptive of the way they act with each other, the way their differences balance each other, the way they contrast each other, etc etc. they do work as descriptive on their own, but not as well as they work when put together; yes, sokka is wise, but how wise? what is the standard for him to be considered wise, or even the opposite? sokka being wise works in terms of aesthetic, character, dynamic, etc etc, only if katara is being brave right besides him. zuko is a prince, sure, but what else is there? what is the alternative? you can call sokka a fool (and you would be wrong, by the way) but what does that word alone bring to his character? 

to conclude, i believe the thing about sokka and zuko’s relationship is that there’s nothing definitive to it by universal order — or rather, while it might exist, it's definitely to a lesser degree than other relationships in their lives, therefore the characters themselves don't notice it and there's no pressure to fulfill any prophecies; they just are, and they just do. you can have a passionate and true love without it being the sole meaning of your existence, or your sole motivation and priority in your life. it’s clear that in case they were romantically involved they wouldn’t even be the person they love the most (as it is very clear the person sokka loves the most is katara (!!!), while zuko’s is probably iroh?? idk). i believe the best part of a romantic relationship between sokka and zuko is that they are just some guys, maybe not to the universe but to each other. if they have to choose each other as they do, if they just get each other as well as they do, who care about each other a shit ton even if not any more than their other friends and family but just a little differently, while they aren’t canonically soulmates the way aang and zuko or aang and katara are (while the potential is there) i’d go as far as to say they are some sort of kindred spirits. i think it all depends on how you define soulmates, really.

[hootenanie]

Tagged by @longwander

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to know better.

1. Name/Nicknames: jackaro, but folks also call me Jack or Jackalope

2. Gender: I don't find the idea of innate gender useful but I present as more or less a (fruity) guy

3. Star Sign: sagittarius! Not what I was assigned at birth but it's the one that fits me

4. Height: I'm like 5'9.5? Around that

5. Time: it's 3:42

6. Birthday: November 20th, 1998

7. Favorite band: that's really hard! I've been listening to Giles, Giles & Fripp a lot lately so let's say them

8. Favorite solo artist: who do you think 😔. my wife david bowie

9. Song stuck in my head: I'm listening to Long Haired Lady rn and that's all I've got in my head

10. Last movie: I honestly don't remember, I don't really watch movies anymone

11. Last show: Seinfeld! I got into it because I co-wrote a ttrpg based on it

12. When I created this blog: late last year, but I've been on tumblr since 2012

13. What I post: music, comics, and jokes :-) I like to goof around on here

14. Last thing I googled: "Dando Shaft", that band julian recommend me

15. Other blogs: none at the moment

16. Do you get asks: infrequently, unless I ask for them. I like getting them tho

17. Why I chose my url: I used to be very into american folk music and it's a kind of folk jam session

18. Following: 166

19. Followers: 282

20. Average hours of sleep: most nights I get about 7, but I often wake up in the night and I don't know how long it takes me to fall back asleep

21. Lucky number: 666 (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

22. Introments: I have a vintage harmonina somewhere that I was going to teach myself how to play before I lost interest (I don't actually like harmonica music that much and it's rusty)

23. What am I wearing: Cotten scarf with a colorful pattern (butterflies) and jacket over a vest over a long sleeve shirt over a tshirt, with blue jeans and missmatched socks. Basically the jackaro uniform lol

24. Dream job: I have no idea what I'd like to do, recently I was daydreaming about being an olympic level figure skater (not something I actually want but I picked up rollerblading again recently so it's fun to think about)

25. Dream trip: peyote seems fun!

26. favorite food: idk, milkshakes?

27. Nationality: american and I hate it here

28. Favorite song: I've been listening to Kiev by Renaissance a bunch lately, it's fantastic. Definitely the band's best song, at least that I've heard recently

29. Last book I read: I've still got frankenstein around here somewhere...

30. Top three fictional universes I'd like to live in: hm well I'm gonna say the metal gear universe for a start, not because it's utopian (it's pretty dogshit, geopolitically) but because I think I could integrate well. Then I'll go with DC's Earth-Twelve, the alternative universe DC put their goofiest stuff in. Lastly I'm going with the fantasy world portrayed in prog rock album covers, partially Yes albums.

Tagging @psygull @steampunkforever @nikcage @glam-master-glammer @boffin-in-training @birdlizard @shiny-good-rock @lrvu @sybilius @girlfriendsofthegalaxy ok I'm not gonna think of 20 people who I haven't already seen tagged I'm sorry. Do this if you'd like to

[writingdollworlds]

I know most people see the blondes and immediately think of the oversaturation and some of the poorly made dolls with blonde hair. I want to take a deep dive into each and give my options, thoughts, and things that couldn't been different. Also this is just my opinion, you don't have to agree! This is all light hearted also, let's get started!

Historicals:

Elizabeth- I know she had some controversy since her book didn't match the doll. Plus the rewrite that followed. I think, especially since her hair is wavy, she'd have been identical to Samantha. Aside from her pin curls. I honestly think the rework was understandable. Plus the doll to me reads similar to her character and personality in the books. While a doll like Samantha doesn't register quite the same. This one I can see both sides though. Other colors, like black could've worked too. I am a bit biased as I think Elizabeth is one of the prettiest AG dolls. However Black hair also would've been gorgeous.

Caroline- imagine she had black hair and the same striking green eyes! I don't think she's a bad doll by any stretch, but there seems to be no reason for her to be blonde. Any color of hair would've suited her. Plus a darker color hair and the same bright clothes and eyes would've been so striking and really drive home the vibes of the sea that she is supposed to embody. I honestly think I might send my Caroline to someone in the community to get her rewigged with a black colored wig instead!

Kirsten- I think a different shade of blonde and more historically accurate hairstyle wouldve suited her wonderfully! I don't have many opinions but I think her as a blonde isn't bad!

Nellie- i think her hair needs to be more strawberry blonde and less blonde blonde but otherwise the look suits her and its quite unique! I honestly wouldn't change her at all.

Kit-while Kits whole look is very iconic I don't think Kit necessarily needs blonde hair, I think a light brown would've also suited them! I think Kits look is pretty awesome, and super noticeable. But I don't think brown hair would dampen that at all. Brown hair, might have actually looked a bit nicer!

Maryellen- I have a few issues with her hair. I think its cute as is. But they should've totally made her a full red head with a more period accurate style! (While doing googling I noticed that a pony tail with bangs was a accurate style but idk it just feels the laziest of the options? If that makes sense) I noticed that most of the styles of the time are quite intricate and may be hard to replicate on a doll meant for kids. I found one that was popular among teens that I think Maryellen could've totaled rocked

Julie- Why did she just have long straight hair? Yes it was a style but it was usually accompanied by layered or feathered look or bangs. A more shag type with long bangs would've looked awesome! Plus brown hair and brown eyes are much needed.

Courtney- I have no option because I don't plan on getting her ever, however if you like her thats great! When I look at her she's not 80s as the history she's 80s as the modern marketing pull. Her looks look like costumes or the modern reruns of the 80s looks. Especially her hair. I don't mean to be saltly on main but E

GOTY:

Kailey- ah! I think this blonde works. I can't remember what time this was; but I know that for a long time when I was a kid living a lifestyle close to the beach, especially in cali, was linked to blonde hair! It makes sense to me why she has blonde hair

Mia St. Claire- I'm unsure what the change should be but she definitely needs a new color. I think with her meet outfit a more alternative style would've been sweet! Maybe raccoon dye and sideswept bangs. I'm not sure her personality or style but the shoes really give me 2000s alternative vibes.

Gwen- She should've had a unique shade of brown! I think it would look best still a light color. A new brown would help her stand out since Sonali and Chrissa are so unique themselves and Gwen is easily confused with #12

Lanie- absolutely no changes, none. At this time being blonde was heavily tied to feminine things, being a "mean girl" or "popular girl" and things like makeup, clothes, traditionally "girly" things. Lanie subverts that perfectly. She loves nature and is a self proclaimed scientist. It's perfect!

McKenna- while I love McKenna a different hair color would've looked just as good! I don't have specific ideas, I think her hair is nice but also other colors would suit her too.

Isabelle- Another blonde that needs no changes. While yes at the time the blonde was starting to get redundant. I think the blonde hair is perfect for her, and her unique part and wig, plus the added colors. Make it definitely a good look.

Lea- Lea,, confuses me in so many ways. Shes a gorgeous doll sure. But why isn't she fully a doc, why is she blonde, etc. I hate to say that I'd want to change her as she is another stunning doll but a dark brown or black would've been super nice too!

Kira- I wish they took the Kira doll and made her a truly me, so we could get more unique truly mes and get another poc GOTY 😩 /lh

Tenney- she should've been a brunette period, it would've been so pretty! Her freckles and eyes with big brown hair, ah *chefs kiss*

[thegreenerartist]

To those who portray Neil, or anyone really, burying something (yall know what I mean but I dont wanna say it because tumblr might flag me or idk), please remember that Im not a professional and this is from my experience

Writing advice?? So you guys dont need to google search this??? Dont get onto a watch list guys

tw (I think?) for burial and dead pets

For the actual digging :

So from my experience, there are 2 types of shovel best for digging, what I call spear head and flat chest

Spear is good for breaking up hard soil but horrible at actually scooping up the soil

Flat is horrible at breaking up hard soil but it is better for scooping soil to the side of the hole that you are making

Not all soil is like,,, c r u m b l. Some are pretty hard and sometimes a spear head wont be enough and you would need a pick axe to break up those really H A R D pieces

The wide and dull part of the pick axe is great for making an outline of how large you need the hole to be. It does most of the brunt work

The small and sharp part are for those REALLY PESKY ROCKS OH MY GOSH THOSE ROCKS S U C K

So if two people do it, the pairings are either flat chest and spear head or flat chest and pick axe (I use the latter personally)

Spear heads require less force but chip away at hard soil slowly (this is good for characters who dont work out often)

Pick axes are for characters who are like really jacked for it to work properlyThe good kind of pick axes (which I believe are handles made of wood and tips made of stone) are very heavy and has awesome results

With two people, the fastest for me was about 20-30 minutes

With one, the fastest for me was around 30-45 minutes(This all depends on how big the thing is)

(I usually bury dogs, cats, puppies and kittens. May they rest in peace)

For the after math :

Put a stone on top of it to prevent it from being dug up

Or alternatively (for backyard burial)

Put ashes and sticks on top of it so the neighbors wont be 👀

Feel free to add more digging and burial advice!

[lunaverseimagine]

can i get a 🍓 for some r0ck and r0ll? and 🍩 for neville, harry, and draco 0-0 (CONGRATS AGAIN <3333)

🍓 - Oooo rock and roll you say? I feel like these are all gonna be a bit mainstream so if I’m not giving you anything new please send another ask lmao

Have a Nice Day by Bon Jovi

It’s My Life by Bon Jovi

Carryon Wayward Son by Kansas

Verona by Elemeno P

And I think this is more metal than rock (idk music genres) but:

Can I Play With Madness by Iron Maiden

When The Wild Wind Blows by Iron Maiden

This was difficult because all the ‘rock’ songs on my playlist are alternative/indie rock apparently (totally didn’t have to google them)

🍩 - Marry Neville because he is such a sweetheart, I feel like Draco would be an amazing kisser so imma go with kiss Draco and kill Harry 👀

-

Thank you for the ask love, always nice to see you in my inbox ☺️💖💛💖

[wingedbeings]

@no-one-hears-me tagged me to do this!! :D thank u ilu!! ♡♡

1) search your name + core + aesthetic in google and see what images come out.

mosscore aesthetic gave lots of different moss n goblincore n like faecore aesthetics which is v fitting!! :D

2) some questions!

name: moss!! :3c

nickname: aa idk?? i dont think i rlly have any but anyone is welcome to rlly call me anything!! (aa wait there is a rlly specific one but it's like linked to someone so i'm too paranoid to post it here skdjsh)

zodiac: cancer sun, scorpio moon, cancer rising!! :3c

languages: aa i actually speak quite a few languages!! i've hyperfixated on languages since i was rlly young n i grew up multilingual!! i'm a bit paranoid abt sharing all of them but the ones i'm most fluent in are japanese, english, [redacted], german, latin, and french!! (i grew up w the first three since birth) :3c

favorite season: i rlly love autumn and spring!! i used to be more fixated on autumn but i recently started loving spring again!! i rlly like when its not too warm n too sunny n kind of rainy and such!! :3

favorite flower: aa i don't think i rlly have a favourite?? D: the kinds of flowers that r like rlly dark red w black n that r really cool tho!!! i also rlly like plants n when i move (aa thats already in a few weeks thats crazy) i'll be getting a bunch of new plants!! i already have a few succulents and a tiny common ivy :3

favorite scent: oh skdjejd i dont rlly know D: i rlly agree w sera tho abt the smell of like petrichor n that!! generally i rlly like naturey smells!! i also rlly like scents like lavender n rose though!! and i'm not too fond of rlly like sweet smells

favorite color: i rlly like black, warm dark reds, and warm foresty dark greens! oo n i quite like coppery-gold ish colours too :3

favorite animals: aaa i honestly rlly love like all animals!! i can't rlly pick one favourite D: corvids r a hyperfixation of mine tho!!! theyre so cool n clever n intelligent n i lov them!!

favorite fictional characters: aa idrk?? if i could rlly think abt it properly in the moment i'm like focussing on it i'd probably think of a bunch but rn i'm drawing a blank so i'll name my favourites from a current hyperfixation i have!! the hyperfixation is the show legends of tomorrow n my favourites from it are sara lance (aaa real actual sapphic representation??? heLp) n also leonard snart!! :3c

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: i rlly like coffee but its a trigger food bc of my chronic illnesses n makes me rlly sick so i can't rlly have it all that often anymore D: (plus i kinda overdid coffee in like my v early teens so that might have smth to do w it??) but i also rlly love green teas!! though sometimes those r an mcas trigger for me dhdjdhs ): i'm not too fond of hot chocolate bc most hot chocolates tend to be too sweet for me and i can't have regular milk (also a trigger food shdhs) but when i make it myself i rlly like that too!!

dogs or cats: i rlly love both dogs n cats!! i'm most similar to cats though so like i guess i relate to cats more?? but dogs r so precious n sweet ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ i currently have both a cat and a dog too :3 (though my cat will be staying w my mum for abt a year when i move so then it'll just be my dog and i for a while!)

blankets: aa i rlly love blankets but certain fabrics are mcas triggers for me so i can only do rlly specific ones skdjsjd,, my temperature regulation is rlly bad and i'm nearly always freezing so if theres a blanket available i'll go wild abt it!!

dream trip: i don't think i rlly have a dream trip?? i prefer travelling around times that aren't too like hot temperature wise tho!! n i mostly prefer less warm countries! (high temperatures and sun are both things that trigger different parts of my chronic illnesses) aa and then i mostly prefer like adventure type things in the form of going to nature places n like exploring ruins n that but like in a calm pace?? oh also to preferably stay in like a little cabin type place or a b&b rather than like a big hotel!!

blog established: aa i believe at the end of last september or something??? (september 2019)

followers: I currently have nearly 3k! aa ilu all but i'm rlly sorry so many of u relate to my blog n i rlly wish all the good in the world for all of u guys n that life will treat u all kinder!! ♡

random fact about me: hsjdjs i dont rlly know?? D: every time i'm put on the spot through someone asking me smth (especially less specific stuff) abt myself i just forget all info abt myself n i already dont rlly have any kind of identity to begin with hsjdhsjdb

aa i guess a fun fact cld be that i'm v alternative in style n some weird mix of punk n goth w a little bit of emo?? n that my fav music genres r also alternative!! (mostly rock n punk n metal n that!!) :3c

I’ll tag @sickeda @http-trauma @pozellainsoul @selincr0 @youstillhauuntme and anyone else that wants to do this!! i always feel rlly anxious tagging ppl so yea!! (u r free to say i tagged u bc if u follow me or we're mutuals n u want to do this i'd want to tag u!! i'm just anxious to skdhj) also idk if any of u have already done this n its also of course ok if u don't want to!! ♡

[unheoly-confessions]

17 questions, 17 tags

Tagged by @clownteeth333 ty oliver!!!

Nickname: kermit is the one used most frequently atm. No i will not elaborate

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Height: 5'1....

Hogwarts House: never read the books but ravenclaw

Last Thing I Googled: 'how to pronounce labret' bc im calling the piercer today and didn't wanna make a fool out of myself lmao

Song Stuck in My Head: here to there from fraggle rock

Number Of Followers: too many

Amount Of Sleep: don't remember I think 12 ish hrs

Lucky Number: i don’t pay enough attention to numbers but 4 is nice

Dream Job: forensic anthropologist or museum curating nd repatriation

Wearing: texas chainsaw massacre shirt nd black pants

Favorite Song: If we're talking of all time its probably a 3 way tie between heaven help us by mcr, damn these vampires by the mountain goats, and walk like thunder by kimya dawson

Favorite Instrument: I play the flute but the hurry gurdy and accordion are both cool too

Aesthetic: idk alternative?? I mean my blog kinda says it all huh

Favorite Author: idk if I'd say he's my favorite author but my favorite book is House Of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski I just haven't read his other stuff yet

Favorite Animal Noise: frog noises r v good

Random: uhhh stream fraggle rock on apple tv

i’m not tagging anyone so if u wanna do it feel free to say i tagged u!

[lauraexplorer]

Thank you so much for tagging me @glundergun and @ladyancientcosmos <3

rules: answer 17 questions and tag 17 people you want to get to know better

nickname: I don’t have any =/

zodiac sign: Aquarius

height: 5′5″ and a smidge

hogwarts house: slytherin =D

last thing i googled: ao3 iasip, because i’m a slut for soft Macdennis fics. There are so many talented writers in the fandom!

song stuck in my head: Counting Stars by One Republic

following: 1,612

followers: 1725 on this one (my main), 105 on a sideblog. I also have 4 specific sideblogs which I no longer use, some not for years. I won’t delete them because sometimes people stumble across them and enjoy them =)

one has 294 followers

one has 136 followers

one has 3 followers

and the last has 1039.

That’s a total of 3032 followers over all my blogs =D

amount of sleep i get: hm anywhere between 5 and 10 hours

lucky number: 28. It all started when I met a man in Spain who lives on a farm with 28 cats. My family have seen that as a lucky number ever since and it seems to crop up in my life a peculiar amount

dream job: IDK, I haven’t planned too far ahead. Something in the food industry. Not a chef, i’m already a pastry chef which I really enjoy I want somethin bigger. e.g in management, new product development or sustainability.

wearing: navy pyjamas covered in cartoon white cats playing. Also a large red blanket that says ‘home sweet home’ in big white writing.

favourite songs: hard question! Like most, and to be cliché, music means a lot to me. Also my favourite songs change every few months/ years as I over play stuff and get tired of it. I’ll pick some songs from my Spotify repeat playlist. 

Hold Me Tight Or Don’t - Fall Out Boy

Promises - Sam Smith and Calvin Harris

Rich Friends - Portugal. The Man

Waterloo - ABBA

I’m Your Man - Wham!

Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

Allthough these were on my repeated because I love them and the genres they’re from, I do also love 80s new romantics/ alternative and 70s/ 80s rock/ punk too.

instruments: I know some keyboard. That’s about it but I wish I had the motivation to learn guitar.

random fact: hmm, not sure. He's a picture of my cat.

Thanks again for tagging me! I’m going to tag

@theentiregdtime @milksteaksandghouls @geekgirl78 @bastardman @serenwish @almost2insanity @swampygirl @pixilatedpunk @viggiomorgensteine @cause-i-love-feeling-dirnty @theganggetsromantic @hearteyesglenn and last but not least @idioticnimrod

I love you all and i’m sorry if you’ve already been tagged in this! you can just ignore me!

[unfolded73]

How Do We Get Back (5/16) - schitt’s creek ff

Summary: In a literal alternate universe where the Roses escaped financial ruin, David and Patrick struggle with loneliness and a sense that something isn’t right. A chance meeting in New York and a terrible tragedy drive them to question whether the timeline they are on is the right one.

This chapter is explicit. 3.9k words.   (ao3)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

_____________________________________

Chapter 5

David finally stopped hitting snooze on his alarm at 9:45, groaning as he sat up. Looking down and seeing his lack of clothes wasn’t exactly a shock, even when the memories of the night before were a little slow in making their appearance. Waking up naked and confused had been a pretty regular occurrence for him over the years. Then the memories flooded in: Patrick, the closeted button of a man who’d drawn him in with his big brown eyes and his soft lips. Patrick, who’d given him an adequate but enthusiastic handjob and had trusted him enough to fall asleep in his bed. Patrick, whom he’d likely never see again.

He was supposed to open the gallery at 11:00, but David decided not to go in today. He felt like he needed a day in front of the TV, watching old episodes of Downton Abbey and eating a pint of whatever expensive gelato he could get Seamless to bring him. Dragging himself out into the kitchen, he remembered he’d used up the last of his good coffee beans a few days ago, and if he wanted coffee without having to wait for a delivery or going out, he’d have to settle for using the stupid Keurig machine that Alexis had bought him a few Christmases ago. Grumbling, he opened the cabinet where he kept coffee stuff and found only those cursed pods.

As he moved to pull the Keurig machine out of a cabinet, a small white card on the counter caught his eye. He picked it up and held it close to his face to read.

Patrick Brewer, B.B.A. Business Manager Rollins Electrical Supply

And, of course, there was a cell phone number and an email address.

Did that mean Patrick wanted him to get in touch? He didn’t remember how much longer Patrick said he’d be in town but he thought it was at least two or three more days. They hadn’t exchanged numbers, so this business card was the only way they could feasibly reconnect. But it also put the decision of whether to reconnect entirely on David, which he was very much not a fan of. David was not a man who put himself out on a limb easily, not when he’d crashed to the ground so many times in the past. He preferred to let the other person be the one responsible for reaching out so that when they inevitably didn’t, he could pretend he hadn’t cared that much anyway.

Whining and shaking his hands up and down with anxiety, David went in search of his phone. Instead of texting Patrick, he tapped out a message to his sister.

Hey are you up?

While he waited for a response, David turned on the television. A solemn news announcer was talking over helicopter footage of a house, intoning the news that 57 people had died in an apparent mass suicide. “GRISLY END TO DEATH CULT IN SAN JOSE,” the chyron at the bottom of the screen read. “Oh my God,” David whispered to himself, then just as quickly forgot about it as the phone in his hand buzzed.

[Alexis] Ew don’t text u up to your sister

[David] I need you to talk me down though

[Alexis] why

[David] I hooked up with a guy last night and I need you to tell me whether I should text him today.

[Alexis] Wait at least 48 hours. You know this.

[David] Yeah but he’s not going to be in NY in 48 hours. Also he’s different.

[Alexis] 👀

[David] What?

His phone rang.

“What??” he said, holding the phone to his ear.

“How is he different, David?” Alexis’ voice was sing-songy, like she thought he was cute and also ripe for being mocked.

“I don’t know, he just is!” David shouted. Then more softly: “He’s nice. And I guess just realizing that he’s gay, or whatever.”

“Mm hmm.”

“He actually says the things he’s thinking. Out loud.”

“Ew, who does that?” Alexis asked. “What kind of game is that?”

“Also he’s married.”

“So not that nice, then.” Alexis said.

“Look, he left his business card in my kitchen. So should I text him today or not?”

“I don’t know, David.” It sounded like she’d already lost interest.

“Alexis!”

“Yes, text him. He probably left his card because he wants to hook up again. And if he doesn’t, then it’ll only be mildly humiliating on the scale of humiliating things you’ve done.”

David hung up on her.

~*~

[Patrick] I need some advice.

[Stevie] i’m glad you realized that yes your hair is too short

[Patrick] No. You know how I had to go to NY for a tax seminar?

[Stevie] idk i don’t always listen to what you say

The crowd around Patrick was laughing, and he looked up at the speaker who was lecturing on import taxes to see what was funny. When he couldn’t figure it out from the powerpoint slide on the screen, he looked down at his phone again.

[Patrick] I’m there now. Last night I met someone. A guy. I went home with him and spent the night.

[Stevie] omg

[Patrick] Yeah.

[Stevie] omg omg

[Patrick] Is that all you’re going to say?

[Stevie] was he hot?

Patrick pictured David: his dramatic eyebrows and chiseled jaw, his dark eyes that could be steely or surprisingly soft, his leather jacket. And then later, his hairy arms and gasping sighs and his cock in Patrick’s hand.

[Patrick] Yes

[Stevie] did you duck? fuck ???????

[Patrick] Um. I guess it depends on how you define that word.

[Stevie] were there orgasms?

[Patrick] Yes

[Stevie] 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

[Patrick] Please stop

Clearly Stevie wasn’t going to be any help, so Patrick tried again to catch the thread of what the lecturer was saying. He wrote something down from the slide that sounded important, all the while watching his phone, still open to the texting app. The dots to indicate Stevie was typing came and went for a while.

[Stevie] ok so i know you were only here a few months and i don’t know everything about you. but i thought you only drank white wine, and now i find out you also drink red wine?

Her analogy was obvious, but Patrick sat and pondered his response for a while.

[Patrick] More like, I’ve been drinking white wine because it never occurred to me that I might like something else. But now that I’ve had red wine, I’m realizing that I may only like red wine.

[Stevie] wow

[Patrick] Yeah

[Stevie] who is this guy?

[Patrick] His name is David Rose. I guess you can probably google him - his family is sort of famous.

It occurred to Patrick that he could google David if he wanted to. Probably should, in fact.

[Stevie] so what advice do you need exactly?

[Patrick] What the fuck do I do?

[Stevie] like, about your wife? i think you have to tell her the truth if you’re gay

Eyes squeezing shut, Patrick shut his screen off. He couldn’t think about that yet. She was right, but he couldn’t think about the horror that his life back home would become if he went to Rachel and confessed that after all these years, he was actually gay. He tried again to focus on the lecture, but he’d missed too much and had only the vaguest idea what the speaker was talking about. He tried writing everything down for several minutes, hoping he could look up the rest later and that the notes would make sense in retrospect.

Another message popped up on his screen from Stevie: are u gonna see him again?

He didn’t respond to that either.

When a few minutes later another message popped up, at first Patrick assumed it was Stevie again, but then he noticed it was from an unknown number. He swiped his phone up off the table quickly.

[212-555-4561] Hey, it’s David from last night. I got your card.

Hands shaking, Patrick unlocked his phone and stared at the message. David had actually texted him; when he left his card, he hadn’t really expected that to happen.

[Patrick] Hey, just waking up? ;)

[David] No. Did you think the sex was so good that it knocked me into a 12 hour coma?

Patrick cringed. Okay, that stung a little, but it’s not like he wasn’t aware that last night had been a much bigger deal for him than it had been for David.

[David] Sorry, I didn't mean that. It was very good.

[Patrick] For me too. Obviously.

He stared at David’s last message for a couple of long minutes. ‘It was very good.’ Was he just being kind? He could have just not texted at all if he wasn’t interested. He must be interested. Psyching himself up, Patrick typed out: Would you like to go out with me tonight? and pressed send before he could out-think himself.

The time between hitting send and when David texted back felt like years. Decades. Millennia, maybe.

[David] Or we could order in? At my place?

[Patrick] What time?

[David] 7?

[Patrick] See you then.

Patrick finally looked up from his phone and realized that a new speaker had taken over to present on the next topic. He also realized that absorbing any more information today was hopeless. He sent one more text:

I’m seeing him again tonight.

[Stevie] 👍👍👍

~*~

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Patrick stood on his doorstep, and if he hadn’t been wearing a shirt in a darker shade of blue, David would have sworn he had on the same clothes.

“Come on in,” David said, opening the door wider and sweeping his hand out dramatically. He’d agonized over his own clothes for far too long before opting for his favorite Kitsuné sweatshirt and a pair of skinny jeans that he thought made his ass look good.

“I brought wine,” Patrick said, holding out a bottle of red, “which is probably terrible, but in my defense, I don’t know or care anything about wine.”

“Thank you,” David said, taking the bottle and looking at it as they walked into the kitchen. “Actually, a Williamette Valley pinot is a safe bet, but it probably won’t pair well with the Thai food I just ordered.” He set it down on the counter. “We can open it after.”

Patrick shoved his hands deep in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. He looked nervous.

“How was your seminar thing today?”

“Oh, I have no idea. Couldn’t stop thinking about stuff. You know, last night.”

David didn’t want to ask, but the word came out of his mouth before he could stop it, his head tilting back like it was trying to extract itself from this awkward conversation that his body had gotten them into. “Regrets?”

“I mean, I’ve cheated on my wife, so… yeah,” he said to the floor before looking back up at David. “But also, no. How could I regret the way you made me feel? Nothing’s ever… nothing’s ever felt as right as last night felt to me.”

“Okay,” David said, his voice coming out as a breathy tremble.

“I guess I wouldn’t be here if I truly had regrets.” And then it was like his hesitancy melted away and David got a glimpse of a confident man underneath as Patrick moved in to kiss him.

Patrick backed David up as their mouths collided, making his ass bump against the edge of the countertop. It was a dominance that hadn’t been in evidence the night before, and it made David go a little bit weak in the knees. “This was all I could think about all day,” Patrick whispered, which weakened his knees further.

David couldn’t stop himself from smiling, which interfered with his ability to kiss Patrick back. “That’s a… very nice thing to say.”

“It’s true.”

They continued making out, and David let his hands wander down to the plain of Patrick’s chest, over his belt to the bulge in his jeans. Patrick moaned into his mouth, and okay, that was it. David couldn’t take it anymore. He’d been thinking about this all day too, even if he wasn’t prepared to admit it out loud.

David turned them around so that Patrick was up against the counter and then sank to his knees. Immediately, he regretted the fact that they were in the kitchen where the granite floor was very hard, and his artfully ripped jeans weren’t doing him any favors.

He put his fingers on Patrick’s belt buckle. “May I?”

Patrick was breathing quickly, his eyes wide. “I… really want to say yes.”

David shrugged and gave him a tiny smile, his other hand rubbing up and down Patrick’s thigh. “So say yes.”

“God, David, you’re so hot. Yes.”

“And I just want you to know,” David said as he unfastened Patrick’s belt, “that I’m no less attracted to you because of this terrible woven belt.” Unfastening and unzipping his jeans carefully, David pressed a hand against Patrick’s erection through his underwear, turning Patrick’s laugh at the belt comment into a gasped exclamation. Inspired to tease him a little longer, David nuzzled and mouthed over Patrick’s clothed cock, his thighs trembling under David’s hands.

“How do you do that?” Patrick asked him.

“What?” David pulled Patrick’s underwear down but didn’t touch him, stretching out the anticipation, letting Patrick’s cock bob there in front of his face,.

“How do you make me feel this way?”

David didn’t answer, didn’t think he could answer even if he wanted to, so he avoided having to do so by taking Patrick’s cock into his mouth. He moved his hands to grip Patrick’s hips, holding him against the counter as he worked. Patrick seemed to have immediately been rendered speechless, reduced to hitched breathy sounds that were very gratifying.

This was an act David had performed countless times, and he often let his mind wander during the process. But right now his mind was full of only this, the rigid length of Patrick and the taste of him and the noises he was making. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Patrick gripping the counter, his knuckles white. David reached out for Patrick’s right hand, picking it up and putting it on the back of his own head, hoping he would get the message. Patrick’s fingers immediately gripped David’s hair, pulling slightly, and David moaned in appreciation.

“Fuck, David, I’m… I’m gonna…” David didn’t let up, swirling his tongue and sucking him deep until Patrick cried out and came down his throat.

Just as David was releasing Patrick from his mouth, the door intercom buzzed. “Look at that, perfect timing,” he said as he pulled himself up from the floor. “Food’s here.”

Patrick looked stunned, his breathing very fast, so David reached down to begin righting his clothes for him.

“I’ll get this, you get the door,” Patrick said, his voice raspy. He looked like he wanted to say more, but couldn’t summon the words.

“Okay,” David said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before going out to the hall to buzz in the delivery person.

~*~

“So how old were you when you came out?” Patrick speared a piece of chicken with a fork. “If you don’t mind me asking a personal question.”

David grimaced, but said mildly, “I don’t mind.” He took a sip of water. “Look, I’m not unaware that I have some stereotypically gay mannerisms. So most people assume I’m gay, and that included my parents. The hard part was convincing them that when it comes to sexual attraction, gender doesn’t matter to me.” When Patrick frowned in confusion at that, he added, “I identify as pansexual.”

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.”

“No, it was a reasonable assumption. I mentioned I was waiting for a guy at the bar last night. Also I just gave you a blow job, so why wouldn’t you assume I’m gay?”

Patrick’s face heated up. It felt surreal that he was sitting politely at a table eating dinner with a man who’d just brought him to an earth-shattering orgasm fifteen minutes before, but he was doing his best to roll with it. He ate his noodles slowly, trying to ignore the loose, lazy feeling in his limbs. David had ordered an assortment of dishes, way too much for two people. Patrick had never been a picky eater, so all of it was fine with him, and the two of them had taken turns putting food from various containers onto their plates. In spite of his undercurrent of sexual panic, Patrick found it strangely comfortable sitting down to eat with David, like they’d done it a hundred times.

“Anyway, when I was a teenager I had dated some boys and some girls, and I guess my family assumed I was still figuring things out? I don’t know, we didn’t really talk about it. There was a point in college when I was in a polyamorous relationship with a couple, and so I just brought them home with me and told my parents to deal with it.”

“And they did?” Patrick asked. “Deal with it?”

David shrugged. “They weren’t… all that invested in my life. I guess they did. My dad did ask me at one point if it wouldn’t be easier if I picked a gender, but he’s never been… there was never any homophobic drama.”

Patrick thought about his own small-town upbringing, where any behavior outside of the norm would result in the epithet of ‘queer’ or worse being hurled at the person in question. It was the kind of bullying that Patrick himself had usually avoided — he was likable and good at sports, and he’d managed to traverse school with enough popularity to feel secure most of the time. His own parents had never said anything bad about gay people, but that was maybe because they’d never said much of anything about gay people.

He envied David, with his cosmopolitan family and his urban lifestyle, where he’d been open to exploring his sexual identity at a young age. He wondered what that must have been like.

“I’m embarrassed,” Patrick said, and then winced at his own admission.

“Why?”

“Because I’m thirty years old, David! How did I get to this age without realizing very basic things about my own identity?”

“Hey, don’t do that. Every queer person has a different journey.”

“Yeah, but if I could have figured it out sooner, I wouldn’t have so royally fucked up Rachel’s life.”

“Rachel is your wife?”

Patrick nodded and pushed his plate away. “It’s not like there weren’t signs, thinking back on it. My cousin Dennis just told me recently that he’d thought I was in love with a high school friend, Eric. And you know what? I guess I probably was. But I was dating Rachel, and I just thought… I don’t know. Maybe I just didn’t let myself think about it. Maybe I was afraid of what I might uncover if I thought about it.”

David was watching him carefully, just listening. It was comforting, having someone to talk to about this to who would just listen.

“I was a late bloomer. When I was thirteen and all my friends were pairing off and playing seven minutes in heaven at parties, I was only interested in hockey and baseball and music. I was small for my age, and I hit puberty seemingly after everybody else in my class.”

“Ugh, not me. I’m so fucking hairy — it’s my dad’s sephardic genes — and I hated it at that age. Braces and acne and hair everywhere and my terrible nose… I just wanted to hide under the bed until puberty was over.”

Patrick smiled. “What’s wrong with your nose?”

“Nothing now; I had a nose job.”

He’d be willing to bet that teenage David was more attractive than he was giving himself credit for, but Patrick let that topic drop. “Anyway, Rachel had been a friend of mine since we were kids, and when we were fifteen and she kissed me, I sort of went along with it. A girlfriend was something every guy was supposed to have, and here she was, a girlfriend I genuinely liked spending time with. I didn’t feel much when we kissed, but I never knew any better. I didn’t have anything to compare it to.”

“And by the time you reached an age where you might explore your sexuality, you were already dating Rachel,” David guessed.

“Yeah. But dating wasn’t… it just wasn’t a big deal in my life. I was a hard worker at school and I had a lot of activities that kept me occupied. Rachel and I did eventually, um…”

“Have sex.”

“Yeah. And it was fine. It felt good, and I figured, okay. This is what sex is. But I didn’t understand why it was such a driving force in other people’s lives,” Patrick said.

“I’ve known people on the asexual spectrum who felt that way.”

“I actually had a genderqueer bartender suggest that I might be asexual a few weeks ago, now that you mention it.”

David smirked. “For the record, you don’t seem to be asexual.”

“Yeah, no. Just in deep denial for a lot of wasted years, I guess.” He heaved a sigh. “Rachel and I were on-again, off-again for a long time, but we always just, I don’t know, fell back into it. We’d break up, and then something would always push us back together. I proposed, and then six months later I panicked and broke it off again and left town.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. So I moved to this small town that was even smaller than the one I’d grown up in for some bizarre reason,” Patrick continued. “But that didn’t magically fix me, it was just a change of scenery for my sadness.”

“You might have considered going to a city; Toronto, for example.”

Patrick shrugged. “I don’t know why I ended up where I ended up. It seemed like some kind of weird destiny at first, that it was very important that I be there. And then it just… wasn’t. So Rachel and I got back together and I suggested we elope.”

“Marrying her before you could chicken out again?” David guessed.

Patrick nodded. “In retrospect, yeah, that’s what it was. That was four months ago. Now I have to tell her… I don’t know what I’m going to tell her.”

“I’m sorry, Patrick. If I could have met you before you got married, I would have.”

He laughed, but there wasn’t any humor in it. “Yeah, that would have been nice, huh? If I’d realized this about myself six months ago, I could have spared Rachel some of the pain that…” Patrick wiped his hands over his face and groaned. “You know what? I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

David glanced over to the living room. “We could watch a movie?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“I think I’m in a Sandy Bullock mood.” David drummed his fingers on his lips. “What’s your preference between Two Weeks Notice and The Lake House?”

Patrick had never seen either, so he shrugged and picked one at random. “The Lake House?”

David grinned at him. “Correct.”

Chapter 6