#goodbye world im off to think about this for the next few hours instead of going to sleep

[werewolvesandaccordions]

mikrokosmos: Mahler – Symphony no.9 in D Major Nearing the end of his life, now that the “end” was near and on his mind, Mahler wrote even more music about life and death. His Das Lied von der Erde, which may as well be a symphony, was kept as a “song cycle” so he wouldn’t have to call it his 9th. All because of the superstitious “curse of the 9th”. In his works, he celebrates the joys of life, and when death comes, it isn’t always a dirge or a lamenting, shaking his fists at fate or something like that. It’s a calm response, of acceptance, of wishing everyone farewell. Writing this post has been difficult for me because, personally, this is my favorite Mahler symphony, and one of my favorite works of all time. I don’t want to drown this post in praises and silly adjectives talking about how much I love it. I want to be straightforward. The first movement is half an hour, and it opens with a fluttering motif, a musical representation of his own heart murmur. Instead of an expected dramatic reaction to fate, to death, we have one of the more gorgeous woven symphonic movement. The main melodies often play over each other at the same time, overflowing with passion, with touching moments, before the movement ultimately dies off in a soft wave goodbye. The next movement is a rowdy and fun ländler type dance, makes me think of drinking beer with friends, or playing frisbee in the park. The third movement is a dramatic and rambunctious double fugue. The entire orchestra is caught up in this violent counterpoint that clashes on even with a few more relaxed passages. The final movement is somewhat elegiac, but it’s bittersweet, it’s more optimistic, a farewell to the world with an acceptance of passing and hope for something better beyond. The final notes pull away, slowly vanishing into silence. In this symphony, even though it’s written for a full orchestra, Mahler writes with chamber like sonorities. There are many duos, trios, quartet passages from individual instruments. I feel like if he lived longer and wrote a few more symphonies, he would probably be writing Chamber Symphonies, favoring thinner textures and more counterpoint. I’d first heard this symphony freshman year in college, and I associate so many memories with it…my walks around the neighborhood, my neighbors, the irony of feeling so lonely in a major city, dogs in the park, the lake water, clouds that change or float away too soon. Movements: 1. Andante comodo 2. Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb 3. Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig 4. Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend

mikrokosmos: mikrokosmos: Mahler – Symphony no.9 in D Major Nearing the end of his life, now that the “end” was near and on his mind, Mahler wrote even more music about life and death. His Das Lied von der Erde, which may as well be a symphony, was kept as a “song cycle” so he wouldn’t…

[dariaandjanelanefanboy]

mikrokosmos: Mahler – Symphony no.9 in D Major Nearing the end of his life, now that the “end” was near and on his mind, Mahler wrote even more music about life and death. His Das Lied von der Erde, which may as well be a symphony, was kept as a “song cycle” so he wouldn’t have to call it his 9th. All because of the superstitious “curse of the 9th”. In his works, he celebrates the joys of life, and when death comes, it isn’t always a dirge or a lamenting, shaking his fists at fate or something like that. It’s a calm response, of acceptance, of wishing everyone farewell. Writing this post has been difficult for me because, personally, this is my favorite Mahler symphony, and one of my favorite works of all time. I don’t want to drown this post in praises and silly adjectives talking about how much I love it. I want to be straightforward. The first movement is half an hour, and it opens with a fluttering motif, a musical representation of his own heart murmur. Instead of an expected dramatic reaction to fate, to death, we have one of the more gorgeous woven symphonic movement. The main melodies often play over each other at the same time, overflowing with passion, with touching moments, before the movement ultimately dies off in a soft wave goodbye. The next movement is a rowdy and fun ländler type dance, makes me think of drinking beer with friends, or playing frisbee in the park. The third movement is a dramatic and rambunctious double fugue. The entire orchestra is caught up in this violent counterpoint that clashes on even with a few more relaxed passages. The final movement is somewhat elegiac, but it’s bittersweet, it’s more optimistic, a farewell to the world with an acceptance of passing and hope for something better beyond. The final notes pull away, slowly vanishing into silence. In this symphony, even though it’s written for a full orchestra, Mahler writes with chamber like sonorities. There are many duos, trios, quartet passages from individual instruments. I feel like if he lived longer and wrote a few more symphonies, he would probably be writing Chamber Symphonies, favoring thinner textures and more counterpoint. I’d first heard this symphony freshman year in college, and I associate so many memories with it…my walks around the neighborhood, my neighbors, the irony of feeling so lonely in a major city, dogs in the park, the lake water, clouds that change or float away too soon. Movements: 1. Andante comodo 2. Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb 3. Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig 4. Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend

mikrokosmos: mikrokosmos: Mahler – Symphony no.9 in D Major Nearing the end of his life, now that the “end” was near and on his mind, Mahler wrote even more music about life and death. His Das Lied von der Erde, which may as well be a symphony, was kept as a “song cycle” so he wouldn’t…

[tinas-art]

mikrokosmos: Mahler – Symphony no.9 in D Major Nearing the end of his life, now that the “end” was near and on his mind, Mahler wrote even more music about life and death. His Das Lied von der Erde, which may as well be a symphony, was kept as a “song cycle” so he wouldn’t have to call it his 9th. All because of the superstitious “curse of the 9th”. In his works, he celebrates the joys of life, and when death comes, it isn’t always a dirge or a lamenting, shaking his fists at fate or something like that. It’s a calm response, of acceptance, of wishing everyone farewell. Writing this post has been difficult for me because, personally, this is my favorite Mahler symphony, and one of my favorite works of all time. I don’t want to drown this post in praises and silly adjectives talking about how much I love it. I want to be straightforward. The first movement is half an hour, and it opens with a fluttering motif, a musical representation of his own heart murmur. Instead of an expected dramatic reaction to fate, to death, we have one of the more gorgeous woven symphonic movement. The main melodies often play over each other at the same time, overflowing with passion, with touching moments, before the movement ultimately dies off in a soft wave goodbye. The next movement is a rowdy and fun ländler type dance, makes me think of drinking beer with friends, or playing frisbee in the park. The third movement is a dramatic and rambunctious double fugue. The entire orchestra is caught up in this violent counterpoint that clashes on even with a few more relaxed passages. The final movement is somewhat elegiac, but it’s bittersweet, it’s more optimistic, a farewell to the world with an acceptance of passing and hope for something better beyond. The final notes pull away, slowly vanishing into silence. In this symphony, even though it’s written for a full orchestra, Mahler writes with chamber like sonorities. There are many duos, trios, quartet passages from individual instruments. I feel like if he lived longer and wrote a few more symphonies, he would probably be writing Chamber Symphonies, favoring thinner textures and more counterpoint. I’d first heard this symphony freshman year in college, and I associate so many memories with it…my walks around the neighborhood, my neighbors, the irony of feeling so lonely in a major city, dogs in the park, the lake water, clouds that change or float away too soon. Movements: 1. Andante comodo 2. Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb 3. Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig 4. Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend

mikrokosmos: mikrokosmos: Mahler – Symphony no.9 in D Major Nearing the end of his life, now that the “end” was near and on his mind, Mahler wrote even more music about life and death. His Das Lied von der Erde, which may as well be a symphony, was kept as a “song cycle” so he wouldn’t…

[hushilda]

mikrokosmos: Mahler – Symphony no.9 in D Major Nearing the end of his life, now that the “end” was near and on his mind, Mahler wrote even more music about life and death. His Das Lied von der Erde, which may as well be a symphony, was kept as a “song cycle” so he wouldn’t have to call it his 9th. All because of the superstitious “curse of the 9th”. In his works, he celebrates the joys of life, and when death comes, it isn’t always a dirge or a lamenting, shaking his fists at fate or something like that. It’s a calm response, of acceptance, of wishing everyone farewell. Writing this post has been difficult for me because, personally, this is my favorite Mahler symphony, and one of my favorite works of all time. I don’t want to drown this post in praises and silly adjectives talking about how much I love it. I want to be straightforward. The first movement is half an hour, and it opens with a fluttering motif, a musical representation of his own heart murmur. Instead of an expected dramatic reaction to fate, to death, we have one of the more gorgeous woven symphonic movement. The main melodies often play over each other at the same time, overflowing with passion, with touching moments, before the movement ultimately dies off in a soft wave goodbye. The next movement is a rowdy and fun ländler type dance, makes me think of drinking beer with friends, or playing frisbee in the park. The third movement is a dramatic and rambunctious double fugue. The entire orchestra is caught up in this violent counterpoint that clashes on even with a few more relaxed passages. The final movement is somewhat elegiac, but it’s bittersweet, it’s more optimistic, a farewell to the world with an acceptance of passing and hope for something better beyond. The final notes pull away, slowly vanishing into silence. In this symphony, even though it’s written for a full orchestra, Mahler writes with chamber like sonorities. There are many duos, trios, quartet passages from individual instruments. I feel like if he lived longer and wrote a few more symphonies, he would probably be writing Chamber Symphonies, favoring thinner textures and more counterpoint. I’d first heard this symphony freshman year in college, and I associate so many memories with it…my walks around the neighborhood, my neighbors, the irony of feeling so lonely in a major city, dogs in the park, the lake water, clouds that change or float away too soon. Movements: 1. Andante comodo 2. Im Tempo eines gemächlichen Ländlers. Etwas täppisch und sehr derb 3. Rondo-Burleske: Allegro assai. Sehr trotzig 4. Adagio. Sehr langsam und noch zurückhaltend

mikrokosmos: mikrokosmos: Mahler – Symphony no.9 in D Major Nearing the end of his life, now that the “end” was near and on his mind, Mahler wrote even more music about life and death. His Das Lied von der Erde, which may as well be a symphony, was kept as a “song cycle” so he wouldn’t…

[george-fabian-weasley]

if we had 5 more minutes — f. w.

Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.

Words: 2,160 words

Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Pain™, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk

Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)

Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3 

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The end of the world.

The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.

At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.

You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough — sadly — to be your end of the world.

“Hey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.

Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.

So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.

It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. “Y/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “Hm?” “Can you just stay at the Burrow?” 

You blinked, “What?” Fred sighed, “Can you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” “Fred-” “I-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 

“Fred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, “You know I can’t do that.”

“We need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat. 

“I love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you saying this now? I-“ “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, “Wait, hold on a minute, no-“

He was saying it in case anything happens.

“Y/N, I love you-” “Don’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. “… Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.

“I-” You sighed, “No, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, “It felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” “Then when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.

“Really? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. “Look, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, “You know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.

“I’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said ‘really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, “Once everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.

“Even if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, “I’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”

It happened so fast.

One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.

It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part. 

Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.

“… Y-Y/N…”

You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred. 

He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.

“F-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. “Fred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, “Hey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”

“We’ll… We’ll be okay.”

You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, “It’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, “Don’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”

“We… We will?”

Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, “We will.”

You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.

“It’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything. 

Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, “Stay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”

“Fred…”

“Five more minutes, I promise…”

You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.

“Fred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.

“Fred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, “You’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, “… I want to ask you something.”

“… Anything.”

Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. “… Are you happy, Freddie?”

There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.

This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line. 

Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautiful— though bloody and dusty— face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.

If only you had five more minutes.

“W-with… With you? Heh, always… “ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, “H-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”

You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself. 

“I’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. “L-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, “Look at me.”

You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.

Some things are just meant to be.

You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, “Fred.”

He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, “… You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”

“I love you, Freddie.”

With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,“… Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?“

Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.

“Yeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, “Took me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.

You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. “You said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.

“I guess we will be, after this.”

“… You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, “Aren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.  

“No- no- no!” someone was shouting. “No! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.

On our last few drags of air, we agree

I was, and you were

Happy

TAGLIST:

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[chocominnie]

Can you trust me? | knj

⇢ pairing: namjoon x reader (idol! Namjoon)

⇢ genre: Angst because Namjoon may or may not be an asshole about important things but also fluff because of sweet-talking

⇢ word count: 3k

⇢ warnings: Arguements but honestly thats it because the rest if fluff lmao.

⇢ Copyright:  please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Summary: Namjoon keeps making excuses of not meeting up with you and given that you guys have been having fall outs recently, things are about to be put on the line. Will you guys break up? Or will you stay together? Can you trust him..

You have reached the voice mailbox of-

You shake your head lightly as tears feel the brim of your eyes. This is the third time today. You knew that in this relationship with Namjoon would mean that he wouldn’t always have time for you. But for him to not even give you a quick text or just even answer his phone is absurd. You’ve been talking about this meet-up for the past two weeks. Although he is mostly busy majority of the times, a dinner for one night surely wouldn’t affect his schedule right?

Especially with all the things going on between you and him. This date tonight would of approached everything that has been happening. The arguments you guys have are just nerve wracking. Especially when he argued with you for being clumsy because you had spilled fruit juice in his studio.. on the wooden floor. You just didn’t get how it would be a big deal as it was not carpet so an easy clean up. At the end of the day, you guys knew how to get on each others bad side and that’s not good at all.

So here you are now, dressed  in an elegant black dress with that Swarovski crystal bracelet he gave you for your 1 year annivesary. Atleast, that’s when he actually gave a fuck about the relationship. Actually, you can’t even count the amount of excuses he’s made within the past months to not spend time with you. The last time it was because he was washing clothes and didn’t have any to wear right now. In which you had called bullshit because he has more clothes than anybody could ever.

Needless to say, you had ignored his calls and texts for two days to give him a piece of your mind. Namjoon wasn’t the type to over-react on such things so it wasn’t a win situation for you. Instead he sent you some of your favorite chocolates and flowers as an apology as you weren’t speaking to him. Yes, you gave in because who wouldn’t over the dozen of roses and Switzerland made chocolate?

This time is something different though.

The waitress returns with a bottle of champagne with a bucket of ice in her hands, and while she sets it down, you quickly wipe the stray tears away and force a smile. You didn’t even notice they were there before.

‘‘ It seems as though my significant other..” You take the napkin from your lap and throw it on the table. “ Will not be joining me today. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

The poor waitress had been waiting for you to order your food for an hour now. You’d kept insisting to wait because Namjoon would’ve been there any minute. Turns out you were very wrong.

She smiles softly, popping the cork off the bottle and pouring a glass for you.  ‘‘Shall I give you the bill then?’‘

As if you would be the one paying for this, when he had broke his promise for you. Broken promises are a thing you hated and he knew that. Putting this on his tab wouldn’t bother him with your petty little antics. The boy is a millionaire, something like this doesn’t even make a dent. Somehow though, you wanted to pay him back for not even showing up.

‘‘Put it on Kim Namjoon’s tab. He’ll be the one paying for this.’‘ You mumble to the young girl. The girl nods her head and pulls out the tab and hands it to you.

You sign your signature on it, and place a good thousand dollar tip on it. The feeling of satisfaction soothes you. He’d surely be paying for his time away, and wasting this waitress’ time. You hand it back to her, waiting for her reaction to the amount. Sure enough she doubled back to you when she realized how much was on the tab.

“ Ma’m? You added two extra zer-”

“ My date wasted your time love. He’s deeply sorry for it. Do something good with the money yeah?” As if the sinister smirk to yourself wasn’t enough, you quickly get up from the table and thank her again before heading to the exit.

The taste of the sweet yet tangy wine soothes the emotions flowing through you right now. Kim Namjoon. A guy who cancels dates a lot. A guy who does not keep his promise.

The only place you knew he would be at rather than his apartment would be at the BigHit building in his studio. He’s always there rather it be snowing or sunny outside he’s just.. there. It always astonishes you how one can just lock himself in a room for hours. What is it about him and doing that? Last time you paid a visit here Namjoon was eating the dinner he ordered in the room, instead of coming over to your house as he promised.

You punch in the code to the brand new building and a charming sound lets you know you may enter. You smile at the two security guards who give a slight smile then back to the blank expression towards the outside world.

Your heels click against the cold tile making your way over to the receptionist. The air smells fresh, as if someone had just cleaned the room again. The receptionist politely stands up quickly and greets you with a smile and a slight bow of her head.

“ Miss Yn, how may I assist you today?” Her eyes are warm and bright, along with her small smile at you. You wish you could feel happy in this current situation right now.  

“Is Namjoon in his studio again.”

‘‘ Yes Ma’m should I tell him that you are coming in?’‘ She says, smoothing her skirt out before sitting back down about to grab the phone.

You immediately shake your head no. Since he doesn’t like showing up and canceling dates he doesn’t need to know anything at all.

You force a fake smile upon yourself to please her. ‘‘No. It’s a surprise since we have not had the time to see each other in a while.’‘ Oh yes, a surpise it will be.

She nods her head, ‘‘ Yes ma’m. Have a nice night with him.’‘

You say your goodbyes to each other and you go your separate way down the hallway of studios. Each door standing out in it’s own way makes you smile.

Mang Gae Deok Room

Hope world

Golden Closet

Genius Lab

And finally, Mon Studio.

You fluff your hair a little bit before turning the corner to the secluded area. But something takes you by surprise, it makes you tense up. Eyes watering and a little whimper chokes out of you. So this is what he’s been doing. This is what he’s been up to for the past weeks.

Its as if almost you feel your heart stop beating for a mere second. As if the blood in your veins went cold. As if what you’re seeing right now is only your imagination but in reality it is not.

There he is, sitting in his chair while a female takes it upon herself to casually take a seat on his desk, smiling and laughing and all. The pain in your heart makes it hard for you to keep looking. Sure, you guys argue, but ditching plans to do whatever it is with a girl is a low blow. That’s all you can take. That’s all you can manage to see right before he turns to look at you in complete and utter shock. There is no stopping the flow of the tears coming down your warm cheeks.

You look down at the boxed up food you had bought him and the bottle of wine that you had taken then back up at the door. Raising the box in the air, you throw it against the window making the food splatter everywhere leaving a mess. The two inside jump at your actions, but you ignore them and just walk away with utter disbelief.

Foot steps and yelling are heard behind you but you don’t stop. You continue walking, but then speeding up your pace passing the receptionist, who is confused yet concerned, and pass the two security guards with no expression.

Running to the open, vacant elevator you quickly wipe your tears and repeatedly abuse the close button to keep Namjoon from joining you. The image of him you get just before the door closes, is him running attempting to get the elevator door to open. You make sure to make eye contact with him just so he can see your pain.

You sniffle heavily while hanging your head low walking to your apartment. You could understand if it was one of the boys in the recording room. It doesn’t look like a great situation, but the girl did seem comfortable enough with him to sit on his desk. So that only leads you to think about how long has she been around him. The thoughts barricade your mind and before you know it you are face to face with someone standing directly on your doormat.

You dont bother to look up already knowing that body structure. Instead you try and shove past him to unlock your home, but there’s no use because next thing you know you’re being held by your upper arms standing in-front of him.

‘‘ Namjoon I don’t want to fucking talk about it.’’ You grumble, shoveling yourself out his arms quick enough to unlock your apartment enough for you to slide through and slam shut.

Knocks are loud on your door to cause some neighbors to wonder. Let them wonder they can scold him themselves for causing so much of a scene.

‘‘ Yn im coming in.’‘ He yells through the door.

You roll your eyes and stand a few feet from the door with your arms crossed on your chest. The door gives a charm letting him know the pin-code was correct. He shuffles in lightly through the door and closes it gently behind him. You stand there waiting for his explanation as you slowly walk towards him.

‘‘ Yn-’‘

Smack!

It felt good for your hand to connect with his cheek. How dare he disrespect the relationship of you two like this?

Namjoon holds his now sore, red cheek and gives you a serious look, ‘’ That was unnecessary. Let me fuckin expl-’’

Smack!.

Your nose flared in and out as you breathe heavily with your eyebrows furrowed in anger. ‘’ Another woman Kim Namjoon? You didn’t show up to our date because you were doing god knows what with another woman?”

Namjoon bites his lip hard as his eyes narrow, ‘’ Stop fucking smacking me. Let me got damn explain you brat!’’ He yells, pushing you to against the wall.

Your strength towards him was no match. You try to run away but he pins you back onto the wall. You were useless at this point.

‘‘ What’s your problem! Calm down!’‘ He semi-yells, grabbing your face to  make you look at him. You look at him, you look him dead straight in the eyes with anger all over you.

‘‘ Shut up. Shut the fuck up Namjoon. I planned the date to talk about everything happening but you don’t show up? Instead you were chatting it up with another girl.” You pause, ripping your arms away from him. “ That’s not a good look for you.”

Namjoon steps back, scoffing in disbelief. That only pisses you off even more, but you decide that it had been enough smacking him for the night. ‘‘ I wasn’t cheating if you think that. You and I both know I wouldn’t do that, right?”

You glare at him, ‘’I don’t know you fucking tell me.’’

That one single sentence sets him off. Trust is something you two really try to have with each-other but lately that’s been all over the place. Questioning his loyalty to him is like a stab in the back with a sharp, piercing knife. Namjoon puts his hands on his head in shock while walking towards the kitchen. You follow him because the last thing he was going to do to you, is ignore the entire fucking conversation.

The silence is rough. You sit yourself down on one of the island chairs as you watch him pour himself a glass of wine. The one you had bought from the restaurant. The way his jaw locks with a serious pout on his face lets you know, he has some choice words to say. That sharp tongue is just holding it in.

But did you over-react? Perhaps you did? Either way, it wasn’t a great scene to walk in on. Your man and another woman alone in his studio. You can’t help but to have reacted that way. Wouldn’t any other person would? It’s not that she was there, it was the way she was very comfortable around Namjoon to the point of doing what she did. She was also a person you had never met.

Namjoon puts the tip of the glass to his lips, making direct eye contact with you as he takes a long sip of wine. You roll your eyes at his dramatic action.

He clears his throat, ‘‘ Im still young. I have female friends and I have male friends. I would love to have time with them before you start barking up my ass.”

Barking up his ass?

‘‘ So you’re saying that all you were doing was having fun with her cause you’re still got damn young huh? Is that what i’m hearing Namjoon?’‘ That rage begins in your stomach again. Simmering in you like boiling water.

You continue, “ It’s like you just don’t care you left me at the fucking restaurant looking stupid right?”

‘‘ No I wasn’t having fun with her. You ran out without letting me explain, instead you were all dramatic throwing fucking food at my windows.”  The sound of the glass clinking against the counter-top is sharp. You wince at the sound of it.

Maybe you did over-react. But in your defense, you still had no idea who the girl was.

“Yn, how childish can you be right now? Did you ever think that me, one of the members of a worldwide known boy-group will be busy? Hmm? Yes, I should of told you that I couldn’t make it beforehand. I honestly thought I would be able to join you, but I overlooked my schedule wrong. That is my fault. The girl came because she was scheduled to work on our collaboration tonight with me.”

Oh gosh. The guilt takes over your body all at once. This was the last thing you wanted to happen. You really outdid yourself now. During all your rage and tantrum about this situation, you had failed to realize that you had indeed signed up to live this type of relationship with him. Of course he’d be busy, he’s an idol. Not once did you take his feelings and thoughts into consideration this entire time.

“ I don’t know Yn, I don’t know if we can continue our relationship together. You and I seem to be clashing a lot now-a-days. You questioning my loyalty really hurt me. We should think about taking a break, or ending things.”

Tears well in your eyes but you just let them fall. Those words you never wanted to hear ever. Sure couples clash with each-other, but isn’t that what makes them stronger? It’d be One year and a half down the drain if things were to go south now. Namjoon is a sweet guy, but your recent over-reacting scenes is becoming too much for him.

There goes that silence again. You two just sit there, not saying a word. The tension is thick as wood. This isn’t right. This won’t be right. Th emotions in you are running high. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Things were only said in the heat of the moment. You were tired of him always canceling and didn’t even bother to let him explain. This could of been handled better.

“ I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve been wanting to spend time with you and you keep canceling on me Namjoon..”

He sighs, placing his now finished glass of wine in the sink. He runs his hands in his hair shaking his head again. “ I’m sorry for that. I should do a better job at telling you my schedule.”

It still hurts though. The way he said those words without hesitation. “ Do you.. still want us to take a break after this?”

“ I think that now that we understand each other a little more, we can work on being better together and not seperate.”

You’re happy to hear those words. Namjoon comes from behind the counter straight towards you where you were now standing beside the chair you were once sitting in. His arms snake around you and pull you into his chest, hugging you tightly. You sink into him, nuzzling your head into him with a small sigh.

“ I don’t like when we fight like this. You know I love you right? So much. So, so, much.” He whispers down to you. You nod your head in agreement. It’s something about being in his arms that soothe you.

You feel so complete with just the presence of him. He makes you happy, as you do him. Namjoon is understanding, caring, kind, and so much more to you. He was there for you on your worst days, and was there on your best days.

He plants a small kiss on your forehead, “ Let’s become better together yn. I want big plans for us in the future, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“ I want that for us too. I love you so much Namjoon. Even when things are bad for us, I care a lot about you.”

The butterflies in your stomach settle. Being in Namjoons arms is what home feels like to you. You’re secure and safe.

‘‘ Can you trust me next time? I promise from now on I will tell you in advance if I cannot participate instead of just leaving you wondering.‘

You nod your head, not caring about what he said but only caring about his embrace right now. The only thing you care about att he moment is him and his understanding.

‘‘ Can you trust me?’‘

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Headlines

A fun cubs come out fic!

Characters and their world by @lumosinlove

@im-oknutzy-trash - here you go!

(Just one last note - there is one scene with a little spicy quip but it doesn’t get in any way explicit :))

“I’m home!” Finn called as he came through the door to their apartment, duffle bag falling off his shoulder and crashing into the door.

“Wow.” Logan commented, coming over to help him. “Home for less than a minute and you’re already trying to wreck the place.”

“Oh hush.” Finn said, dropping his bags and pulling Logan in by the waist. “Hello to you too.”

Logan grinned and went soft, leaning into Finn’s kiss. “How was Alex?”

They moved away from the door to the couch, Logan setting Finn’s bag aside to be dealt with later. 

“Good, Kase and Nat are going out to see him in a few days so he was all excited.” 

Logan laughed, kicking off his shoes to curl his feet under him. “Now that I get.”

Finn smiled and glanced around. “Where’s Leo?”

“He just had to pop out to the shop. We’re out of milk. He should be back soon though.”

Finn nodded, looking down at his hands, fiddling with his fingernails. “Hey Lo?”

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking about… well what if… So like, you know Cap and Loops, right?”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Our teammates? Yeah I think I’m vaguely familiar with them.”

Finn huffed, rolling his eyes. “Wow sassy. You know that’s not what I meant.”

Logan tilted his head to the side in acquiescence, letting Finn continue. 

“I want to be like them.” Finn said quickly. “Can we be like them?”

He watched Logan frown for a moment, trying to figure out the difference between Remus and Cap and them. “Wait,” He murmured, eyes meeting Finn’s. “Do you mean?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. I think maybe we’re ready?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Leo coming in. 

“Hey Lo!” He said, without even looking around yet. “I got milk and that bread you like. Did Finn message you yet, he definitely should have landed by now.”

Leo reached the counter, putting the milk in the fridge before turning around and finally noticing the two boys in the room.

“I think his flight landed.” Logan said dryly, watching Leo take in Finn’s presence. 

“Hi baby.” Finn said, with a smile, truly grinning when Leo left the shopping bag half-empty and came over to kiss him hello instead. 

“Hi.” Leo said, slipping into the gap between his two boys. “I missed you.” 

Finn heard himself make a pleased noise as he leaned in to kiss Leo again. “Missed you too.”

“So,” Leo said as he pulled away, pulling Logan’s feet onto his lap. “What’re we talking about?”

Finn met Logan’s green eyes, pausing for a moment. “Um, I uh…”

Logan kicked his foot forward to nudge it against Finn’s thigh. “I got it Harzy.” He then turned to Leo. “We were thinking, maybe it’s time for us to come out? It’d be nice I think, not having to hide.”

Finn watched Leo carefully as the younger boy blinked in surprise before a small smile took over his face. 

“Yeah,” He breathed, looking between Logan and Finn. “Yeah that would be nice.” He bit his lip, looking smug and mischievous and Finn thought he might be falling in love all over again. “But I think we should have some fun first.”

****

Logan stumbled off the bus wearily - that four hour bus ride had just seemed to go on forever. Reporters stood outside the door to the hotel, despite the cold and the late hour but Logan leaned into Leo’s side anyways, Leo’s arm around his shoulder, Logan’s hand beneath his jacket. Photographers went wild, cameras shuttering quickly and Logan hid his smile in Leo’s jacket. This was going to be a whole lot of fun. 

****

Leo looked up as Marlene entered the locker room, glancing around to see who might be ready and available for an interview. Leo caught her eye and waved her over. 

“Hey Leo, how about a quick video for social media? I won’t keep you longer than five minutes.”

Leo smiled, he didn’t mind, this was all a part of their plan, the team and the rest of the staff had been made somewhat aware. Plus, he liked Marlene so he never had a problem with the interviews. “Sure.”

“Okay great!” She gave him a thumbs up as she started recording. “So, just last night, pictures of you and Logan Tremblay were released as you got off the bus - have you anything to say about them?”

Leo nodded, grinning. “Don’t forget James photobombing in the background. I think he was going for a ‘bunny ears’ effect but it ended up looking like he was doing it to Kasey instead. I think I need to get a copy framed.”

Marlene laughed, moving on. “So you and Logan are close then?”

Leo looked around the room comically. “What? You mean right now? Cause He’s in the PT room so a lot of the guys are closer.”

Marlene bit her lip, her eyes sparkling. “How do you feel about this game then?”

Leo sat back, finally going to answer a question honestly. “I’m feeling good. We’ve had a great start this season and I’m pretty confident.”

Marlene gave him another thumbs up and headed off to go chat to some of the other guys. A few stalls over, Finn met Leo’s eyes and blew him a kiss. 

*******

“The media seems to have calmed down a bit.” Logan commented as they all sat at home watching a movie. “Think it’s time for our next one?”

“Ooh, yes!” Finn enthused. “I call being in this one.”

Logan laughed and pulled out of the way so he could take a picture of Finn kissing Leo’s cheek, Leo’s face all scrunched up in a smile. 

“There you go, post it.”

Finn grinned, going to Instagram and putting up the picture with the caption ‘Days like this’ before tagging Leo for good measure. 

“That should entertain them for a couple of days.” He said, satisfied as he tossed his phone to another chair and leaned back into Logan’s warmth, kissing the spot just below his ear. 

“You and me next baby,”

****

Leo Knut and Finn O’Hara?

More than one couple in the Lion’s Den?

Knut cheating on Tremblay?

Logan laughed as he scrolled through the headlines and posts from fan accounts, taking screenshots of some of the art of them that had already begun to bubble up. Thomas was on the other side of him, watching a video of a fan analysing the teams interactions, trying to figure out who was actually in a relationship, laughing every few minutes. 

“Knutty,” Logan called, summoning Leo. “Look at this one.”

Leo took his phone and read the caption out loud. “Knut’s betrayal making Tremblay tremble?” He looked up and met Logan’s eyes, his face blank. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”

“I do!” Finn interrupted, coming up behind Logan and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “Okay Lo, you hold up the article, now someone take our picture please!”

Logan ginned and relaxed into Finn as James snapped them together before posting it to his own account. ‘Doesn’t seem to be trembling to me.”

****

“I’m gonna go get some coffee, do you guys wanna come?” Leo said, the three of them still lying in bed. Finn shook his head, still mostly asleep, but Logan perked up.

“From the café down the street?”

Leo nodded, laughing when Logan was up like a shot, pulling on his clothes. 

“We’ll bring you back some, okay sweetheart?” Leo said as he leaned over the bed once more to kiss Finn goodbye. Finn just nodded and burrowed deeper into the duvet. 

“Love you.” He mumbled and the two boys left him to his dreams, slipping out of the room quietly. 

They walked down the street, hand in hand, going mostly unnoticed by the public. It was still early and a Sunday, so there weren’t too many people up and about, but even those that were paid them very little attention. It was easy to forget, in moments like this, that they had entire fan pages dedicated to them and many days they weren’t even recognised on the street. 

They got their coffee and drank it there, holding hands over the table outside the front door, watching the people passing by and chatting idly. Leo thought he spotted someone taking a not-so-discreet picture of them, but they didn’t care. Logan went inside to grab Finn’s cup to go and Leo lounged in the sunshine for a moment, breathing in the cool, sharp air. 

He opened his eyes to find Logan standing over him, looking down amusedly. “D’accord, mon choupinet?"

Leo smiled and stood up, stretching lazily. “Oui.”

They came back home to Finn still in bed, and joined him under the covers while he sipped his coffee.

“Oh, look we’re back in the headlines.” Leo commented as he angled his phone for them both to see. A photo of Leo and Logan from just a half hour ago stared back at them, Logan laughing at something Leo had said. 

“That’s such a cute picture,” Finn noted, putting on his glasses to take a closer look. “You should save that.”

Knut and Tremblay reunited? No news yet on how O’Hara is taking this latest blow.

“O’Hara would be doing fantastic if he had another kind of blow.” Finn grumbled, then blushed when he realised he had spoken out loud. “I mean-”

“Oh, we know what you meant.” Logan said, taking the nearly empty coffee cup from Finn and setting it on the nightstand as Leo eased Finn back, slipping under the covers as Logan captured his lips. “And that can be arranged.”

****

“So when do you guys think you’ll let them know what’s actually happening?” Remus asked Leo as he helped the blond boy with his stretching. 

Leo bit his lip as he thought. “I don't know? Soon maybe though, because this is fun and all but I’m tired of being analysed all the time now. At least if we tell them the truth, they’ll be chasing after us for a couple of weeks but then it’ll all settle down and be nice and quiet again, you know?”

Remus nodded, smirking when Leo took a sharp intake of breath as he pushed his legs a little further apart. “Yeah for sure. It’ll be pure chaos for a bit, but then they’ll quickly move onto the next big thing, I promise.”

Leo nodded, a little lost in thought. “Yeah, I’m ready to have a bit of privacy again. I think I’ll say it to the boys tonight.”

Remus nodded and pushed Leo a little further, laughing when Leo cursed under his breath.

“Fuck, if I’m alive after all this that is.”

****

“Alright, we’re doing this so?” Logan confirmed, making sure everyone was in agreement. 

“Yup.” Leo said, popping the ‘p’.

“It’s time.” Finn confirmed as they all pulled up the same picture they had chosen to post - a photo of the three of them taken at a party at Dumo’s. Logan sitting in Leo’s lap, head tilted up as he kissed Finn who was handing them their drinks. 

“Captions ready?” Finn asked and the other two nodded.  “Okay. Three,”

“Two,” Leo said.

“One.” Logan breathed and they all clicked ‘post’ at the same time. 

The next day, all the headlines were their Instagram captions-

Leo and Logan.

Finn and Leo.

Logan and Finn.

(Three’s not a crowd).

[jesslockwood]

rakes | chapter one

pairing: regency!Harrison Osterfield x regency!reader

words: 2.3k ish

warnings:  bridgerton s1 spoilers, swearing I think? little bit of smut

a/n: im so excited for this series. Like I'm obsessed with Bridgerton and have been reading the books so this is my take at a story like this :)

series masterlist

Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers

We have finally bestowed ourselves upon a new season's rush, which has every eligible lady hoping to have a suitor or a few lined up by the first night, at least enough to keep the vicious mama’s off their backs, and the many of suitors looking for a wife to bear their next of kin. Now that the diamond of the last season is formally wed, I ask dear reader, who else shall we look to for this season’s most eligible? Perhaps we should be looking to someone new in town, who has arrived as the formal company to the Duke, and now may I say Duchess of Hastings. It is said to have seen the late Earl of Beaumont’s daughter’s arrival. It is said she is an old family friend of the young duke’s late mother. She has apparently come all the way from France, and may I say reader, after her first tragic entrance into society we can only hope things go well, or you'll hear about it from myself. She carries on the last lineage to the family, as her estranged aunt had bore no children. It is said, however, the new Earl of Beaumont is no other than the bastard child of Lady Y/n’s uncle. Let us all hope the venom that was brought onto that family has not reached the young and upcoming Lady Y/n, nor the Earl of Beaumont.

However, dear reader, the recent Viscount Featherington has mysteriously passed, leaving his wife, Lady Feathrington, and three daughters, to fend the ton. Perhaps once they are presented this year, they shall have better luck at becoming the season’s most eligible as they will need that luck for our most eligible suitor.

As of note, reader, our most eligible suitor since the duke is now officially out of the game, I turn your eyes upon the new Viscount Holland. Since the passing of the Lord’s father, he is now the most worthy of the title of most eligible. With not only his charming looks, but he is also said to be. He now has the duty of finding a wife to carry on the Holland name. All I can say for sure is he is the one to look for at a soiree and without acting quick, perhaps Lady Y/n will catch the eye of the most eligible suitor now.

It is heard also dear reader the most infamous rake of the ton, Son of the late Viscount Osterfield, Lord Osterfield is to be back in town. Maybe he will be looking to catch the eye of some ladies of the ton, but beware dear reader, Lady’s and Mama’s as his reputation upholds itself, and may not change anytime soon.

“Thomas! Have you read this yet?!”

Patrick Holland, the youngest of the four Holland Brothers comes yelling, almost rushing into the Viscount’s study like a paperboy.

The Eldest of the four looks at the boy’s hand, to only read one gossip paper title.

“Paddy, I do not read rubbish such as Lady Whistledown.” Thomas sighs trying to get his late father’s affairs in order.

Dominic had only left the name of his successor as Tom, and no instructions of how to do anything other than making sure everything was in order. Although he was in such luck to not have sisters such as his friend, Viscount Anthony Bridgerton, and having to deal with finding worthy matches for them, he still had to keep his brothers in line, such as not mucking up a lady’s virtue, or getting caught in any sort of scandal for Lady Whistledown to sniff out like a bloodhound.

“But Tom! She writes about you!” Paddy mentions in haste.

“What is all this yelling about!?” Harold Holland, the eldest of the twin brothers slips into the study along with said twin brother, Samuel Holland

“Harry, Sam, Tell Tom to read the recent Lady Whistledown! She mentions the Earl of Beaumont’s daughter and Tom-“

“Really? Give it here!” Harry snatches the paper out of his hands, before reading it with Sam over his shoulder.

After reading it the room fell silent for a minute. The three youngest deep in thought.

“Isn’t Lady Y/n the only one to be debuted and be out of a season before its end?” Sam asks “It’s never been heard of but apparently she never got any proposals-“

“Do you think Osterfield will try and sweep her off her feet? He did write two days ago of his late arrival into the season.” Harry mentions.

“Yeah but not before he tries to get under her skirt Harry-“ Sam gently shoves his twin.

“What If she’s ugly? Sam? Harry? What will he do then?” Paddy quips back.

“You of the lot could try and get with her then!” Harry says and shoves Sam back. Soon enough the whole room is filled with lighthearted arguing from the brothers.

“ENOUGH!” Thomas yells over them rubbing his temples. “That is enough.”

They all mumble apologies.

Tom sighs, “I’m sorry myself. Father just left a lot for me, and you three need not get into trouble. Especially with the Lady with her popularity, and even more, not Lady Whistledown… Now let me see what the pompous lady wrote about me.”

“I cannot bear to leave you two, all to find a man to keep my family line going. How frivolous -”

“Oh come on Y/n! You do wish to lie to me when I know finding company of a husband is all you dreamed of since you were a girl.”

“Yes well Simon, if I only could make a wife as lovely as yours, then I would be worthwhile to have a husband and some children of my own such as your family.” You smile down in Daphne’s arms, where their son lies, “Yet you know how much I do despise not traveling the world, as far away from my aunt’s claws as possible.”

“Ah yes, your Aunt Beast-rice- I mean Beatrice.”

“Simon! Not funny! If she heard you from here she’d kill you with just one look at her beastly form!” you joke back.

After the laughter calms down you bid your goodbyes.

“I mustn’t keep the queen waiting, nor your gracious family Hosting me Daphne. I thank you dearly again for letting me stay after, well,-”

“It is no problem at all. Now make Haste, as I know my siblings and Mama have many questions for you already. Especially Eloise! She is excited to know about your travels!”

“And I shall answer them all! Goodbye, your Graces!”

“And to you, Lady Y/n!” Daphne replies.

Stepping up into your carriage you nod towards your old friend and wave to his wife, before settling into your seat for the journey ahead.

You had never in a million years thought Simon of all people would get married, nor that you, well, necessarily wouldn’t want to. After all that had happened in the past three years, your parents passing, and all the scandal and sabotage your family went through, well it seemed impossible for yourself to ever be back in London.

It had to be your duty now more than ever to find a husband so that the witch of your aunt couldn’t grasp her vicious claws and try to ruin you as well. After what your uncle did, it would be sacrilegious to do so, so the only fate for you was finding a worthy match to keep you in the comfort of knowing your family was safe.

Love was not on the table anymore, at least it is what you thought. Your parents had a rare love, and in one season, you knew you couldn’t find it that easily, as your fate was more like a business transaction rather than a place for finding the one for you.

At least you had faith in the new Earl to help you find a match. The two of you had been friends as children, of the ripe age of you at four and him at seven, the two of you had been inseparable, almost like you were siblings. As you got older, you were convinced that no matter his bloodline, you were his sister. Your father had instilled that family bond in the two of you. Even the staff would say “Y/n and William are an inseparable pair of siblings”.

That is until the actual wicked man, Willam’s father tried to get him to claim his rightful place as the next real Earl since he was your uncle's bastard child, and there were no other “strong options”. The man even tried to find a way to get himself to be the Earl of Beaumont years before. He had brought this upon William’s seventeenth birthday, interrupting the whole party after not seeing any of the family for six years. Uncle Hugh had never come after marrying his new wife, Aunt Beatrice.

You had never met the new woman your uncle married at that point, you could only remember your Aunt Anne Mysteriously passing suddenly before your uncle Hugh had married the beast. At the age of eight, you were convinced she had some sort of spell on your uncle, as you found weird herbs in her chambers when they got married. Your Mother brushed it off when you tattled and told you it was probably just to make some rouge or something with it. You were still convinced she was bewitching everyone.

When William refused to take ownership of the title, uncle Hugh was livid. Then he decided to take matters into his own hands.

You brush off the chills in your spine even thinking about your debut into society. It was the most wretched night of your life.

“We are here Lady Y/n.”

You shake off the memories, coming back into reality, stepping out into the inn Simon suggested you stay in, instead of riding in the night.

It was quaint and small, it was nice for a place like this, though you had stayed in worse places in your travels.

You stepped out of your carriage and headed into the inn.

You couldn’t sleep. It was two days before your debut back into society and you kept waking up sweating with nightmares, or hearing the pounding and a woman and a man yelling- or something of the sorts- through the walls. You had the urge almost to go knock on their door to tell them that they were being too loud, yet you didn’t.

How on earth were you supposed to get up at an unholy hour to ride half of the day only to be swept up into the chaos of being introduced back into society the moment you were to arrive. You had to get many dresses, shoes, rouge, and hair accessories, and plenty more to just begin your day. All with pushing past everything of what you even began to feel about it all.

Your parents were not going to be there. Never to see any of the firsts of you getting betrothed, or wedding to your betrothed, having children, or even possibly, by chance, the love you would share in your life. Your world had come crashing down when they died, so how could you possibly build it again without them there?

Harrison Osterfield was taking a promenade in this lady’s well- I think you’ll get the picture. As she laid on the bed moaning as he thrust into her, the bed in the inn halfway toward his home was shaking and banging on the paper-thin walls with his powerful movements. He was a known regular at the inn and in England, he was known as one of the most infamous rakes in town. Being so of his reputation, he kept it to a high standard. She was a performer of some sort- that he could not remember- traveling back with him on his journey for pleasure purposes. He had just finished round three, of intercourse, after a few rounds of, well other such naughty yet delightful actions that took place.

“AH!” she moaned orgasming, Katie? Was it? Or was it Kitty?. Harrison couldn’t remember or even care to.

He kept thrusting a few times more until he pulled out and came into a handkerchief.

After being all intercourse-d out she sleepily rolled over her naked form, grabbing her things. She knew this is where her stop was ending with him and was going back to her room, to travel with her relative who was also in the business the next day.

“Thanks for the ride m’lord.” she mocked slightly after getting dressed in her nightgown heading to her room, “until next time”

Harrison just smirked back.

Laying back onto the covers after the smell of sex, he thought how his stepfather James, had warned him of his current status of rakishness hindering him from finding a bride.

He’d prove he could woo any woman, and make her fall so deeply in love with him that she would want to marry him. And that was his plan this season. Last season’s diamond of the first water was married in a whirlwind, so he assumed he could do it quicker and get a new reputation among the ton, by marrying her.

Then at least his sister Charlotte wouldn’t be doomed when she was introduced to society in the next few years, that she could marry whomever her heart desired. And at least, he could help her from changing his reputation, by marrying. His rakish days of course would be over, but at least he could change their minds on the Osterfield Family.

@spideyspeaches @greenorangevioletgrass @take-me-to-ny

[junova]

never been in love — single dad!steve (headcannon)

pairing: single dad!steve x teacher!reader

abstract: the one where steve likes you a lot and his daughter does too. 

warnings: it gets a lil smutty towards the end (18+) not really tho, this is so much longer than i intended jfc, bucky being kind of a dick, hint of daddy kink, cheating? 

[a/n]: this was totally inspired by @marvelouspeterparker​ post. i read it and it pulled me out of my writers block so thank u ! also this is so unnecessarily long but i have no excuse other than im a hoe for steve rogers?? 

*** gif isnt mine — i forgot creds srry :/

                             -ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-  

oh god this one is going to hUrt me

but can you just imagine when steve really gets to see you, not just in passing as he picks up his daughter

he nearly shits himself because how in the hell had he not noticed you before?

one any given day, he’s right on time to pick up shai

he’s always punctual

— until today

not only was he late, but he was an hour late and in his mess of mind he was fully convinced they’d never let him bring her to the school again

to make matters even worse his phone had died and his cable was nowhere to be found in his dying, old pick up truck

not to mention his sweet little angel, more than likely frightened out of her mind

— but he was so wrong

practically in a full sprint, he quickly made his way to shai’s classroom when he found her perfectly peaceful while she talked with her teacher

even though, she was facing him and could see him she paid him no mind. it didn’t faze her that her father was so late because you had stayed to keep her company

“well, it looks like he finally decided to show up.” shai spoke to you, loud enough so her father in the doorway could her. the edge in her tone pushing sassy all the way through

of course as soon as shai found her way in steve’s arms he profusely apologized and graciously thanked you for staying with her saying he would repay you for it

— and it definitely had nothing to do with how attracted steve was to you. nope. not at all

you dismissed his gesture, it was a delight to be with shai and you told him such but you had a feeling he wouldn’t let it go

— and he didn’t

the very next day, when he dropped shai off and handed you a dozen pastries he had made fresh this morning

the way you gushed over it, cheekbones high and happy over his kindness made steve’s heart swell

they were still warm and you just couldn’t believe he made these with his bare hands

it was easily the kindest gift anyone ever gave you and you told him that too before you could stop yourself

then he just started bringing you a pastry or two every other day, even if you’d refused them the next day he would bring double the amount he brought the day before

you stopped refusing him bc you already felt guilt since he wouldn’t let you pay for a single one

after two weeks, steve asked you out. you weren’t shocked he had, he had been buttering you up but no matter how charming you thought he was you couldn’t.

he was a parent of one of your students and you just couldn’t allow yourself to go there

it wasn’t necessarily against the rules, but it was frowned upon

accepting your rejection with grace and humility he grabbed shai before bidding you goodbye that day

you thought that was the end of it, until you saw him the following friday night at the bar you frequented at

— alone

you wanted to talk to him, the tequila in your system giving you an irresistible urge to but you were on a date with on of your friends’ coworkers

james buchanan barnes

he definitely was a smooth taker, those dazzling blue eyes sparkling like they knew something you didn’t

you really wanted to be interested, he was a loose shape of a man you’d dream about. maybe you could even pretend he was the one you really wanted

not when steve was sitting at the bar, alone.

but you left that thought behind and you convinced yourself you really were smitten with bucky

two weeks later, bucky and you had been on a few dates and he seemed to like you but you knew you had to end things.

whatever little fling you had going on

your heart got more of kick when steve used to bring you pastries in the morning before class than when bucky kissed you after your first date.

then he asked if you would come to his house, he was having a small get together and would love if you’d be there

— reluctantly, you went

bucky’s friends were nice, each one of them making you feel welcomed into their tight circle.

it turned into a better night than you thought and bucky seemed to be super touchy, guiding you onto his lap as you sat around the fire in his patio

natasha, bucky’s long friend since high school, had you all in fits on the stories from the past

everyone was too busy reeling to recognize his presence but you had the to be blind not to

there steve stood gaping at you’d like you were a ghost, certainly surprised to see you perched on bucky’s lap

yep you wanted to just crawl under a whole a stay there forever

“Glad to see you showed up, punk.” Bucky gesturing for him to make his way over to you, even when you pulled at the sleeve of his henley to stop him.

— of course your efforts to tame bucky in did nothing

he grabbed a cold one before making his way to the two of you

and dear god was it as awkward as ever

“Honey, this is my best friend, Steve.” Honey? He had never called you anything besides your name. By the way he pulled you even closer to him made you think there was something else entirely going on.

you certainly didn’t miss the way steve’s jaw clenched or as he held his right hand picking at the piece of bark rather aggressively

“Um, we actually know each other. Shai is in my class, actually.” Feeling rather suffocated by the weight of Bucky’s arms now that the man you felt too much for was here. “Really? I had no idea.”

steve’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, infuriated. it wasn’t just that bucky knew you were shai’s teacher but he knew just how much steve liked you.

he didn’t shut up about you since he you with his daughter — something inside him changing in an instance

it wasn’t just that he thought you were the most wonderful woman he’d me — shai also raved over you

shai’s mother leaving a gaping whole in her heart she didn’t quite understand at the age of five was filled by you

you were kind to her, your patience never wearing thin as you gave her the attention she deserved

it may be your job but you enjoyed every moment with her and steve noticed

“Oh? She’s the one you would wake up an hour early for to make the pastries?” Bucky blurted out.

he woke up an early just to make those for you?

the way steve looked at the ground, grinding his fingertip against the label of his beer made you want to cry. his neck flaring pink at the embarrassment only made you wish you were in his arm instead

— even more than you already did

“You really should have seen the smile on his face when he came back from the school gushing over how much you liked what he had made.”

Bucky tightened his arm around your waist before saying. “Or when you reject him, I still can’t decide which is better.”

“That’s enough, James.” You tone harsh, before you ripped yourself away.

you couldn’t even look at steve, you don’t think your heart could handle it so you practically sprinted to your car

you needed to get the fuck out of here

until you reached for you keys, but they weren’t in your pocket

“Looking for these?” His hands looping through your keys giving it a twirl. “Star Wars fan?” Steve gesturing to you baby yoda key chain. “Maybe just a tad.”

“Thank you, Steve.” He tried to ignore the jump you ignited in his heart whenever you said his name.

handing your keys, he turned away from you, heading back into the house until you yanked him forward

the force so strong he though he was going to body slam into you before he pushing his weight against the car.....and you

“I’m sorry about, Bucky. I never would have gone out with him if I knew you two were friends.” You admitted while Steve just stood there looking embarrassed.

god did you always have to ruin everything

“I-I just, um, have these feelings for you. These very complicated feelings that make me want to throw every morally sound thought I have to the wind.”

“Which thought did you want to get rid of right now?” Stepping outside of his comfort zone, Steve grabbed your hands and just on instinct alone you cradled his face like it was the most natural act in the world. Like you had done it a thousand times.

“I mean, for one I’m telling myself I shouldn’t be this close to you.” Steve taking you by surprise as he tilted his head to the side, kissing the palm of your hand.

did he really just-

“What else, sweet girl?”

oh, you really were a goner

“I don’t know.” You spoke softly. Admitting to not only him but yourself — you couldn’t think when he was this close to you.

“Oh, but I think you do.” Steve diving right in as he latched his plump lips to your neck. Making whispers of his name drip off your tongue.

before you register what was happening steve had you pressed up against the car, rough hands gripping your thighs as your legs clinged to his slim waist

not to mention the ratio from his broad shoulders to his hips had your pussy drowning more

making you forget why you’d ever rejected him in the first place and he had hardly even touched you yet

then his lips met yours and you knew he had ruined you for anyone else. no one would ever compare to him and not anyone from your past did.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, completely in awe of what Steve was capable of doing to you in a matter of seconds. The proud smirk he wore in great contrast to what he felt back by the fire when he saw your body entangled with Bucky.

“If I ever see you sitting on my best friend’s lap again, I will go fucking crazy. Do you understand?” Steve eyes burning with envy.

“Yes, Daddy.”

brb gonna cry that i don’t have my very own steve rogers rip 

                            -ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

 tags: @tonystankschild​ @parkastoria​ @kayteewritessteve​ 

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Not by the Moon | 05

Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader

Warnings: A sprinkle of grumpy jealous werewolf!Jaebeom who gets a wee bit violent, tooth-rotting domestic fluff, werewolf courting, sexual tension, werewolf!Jaebeom acting like a pup, and poor yet adorable attempts at coming across as human.

Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.

Unchanging.

None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.

And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.

That is when Time truly started ticking.

Author’s Note: This chapter is from Y/N’s POV. Bam and Jinyoung make a cameo.

Previous Chapter / Next chapter

Masterlist

Wonderful as a trip abroad might be, there’s nothing that can compare to the secret feeling of relief when returning home. No longer there is luggage to drag along, languages to swap between, or cultures to assimilate to. While it is in good fun, it’s also physically and mentally exhausting. Henceforth, coming home is like a cozy blanket to wrap around your shoulders by the fire on a cold November day. And once you’re bundled up, it is time to breathe easy and rest.

Although, home is not necessarily a place. In fact, mine has made good on his promise and puppy dreams, standing in the crowd to pick me up.

“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out as we enter the hall of arrivals, “over here!”

Manes tucked away under a dark red beanie and wearing a simple black jacket over an oversized black shirt, Jaebeom waves to pull attention to himself.

“Who’s that?” Bam follows my gaze to the adorable tall man as we make our way through the crowd of trolleys, suitcases, hellos and goodbyes. “Is that the dude you’ve been texting and calling?”

“He is,” I whisper in reply as we approach him. With every step, the storm of butterflies in my stomach worsens although I feel light as air at the same time. Happiness in Love is a strange thing. 

“So that’s your boyfriend,” my colleague purrs. He sounds pleased in the way I imagine he’d sound if he was my older brother.

I whip my head around, tongue-tied but not enough to protest the assumption. “He’s not my boyfriend!”

Bam merely chuckles to himself, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he continues. “Sure he isn’t, Y/N. After all, you’ve not been touching your lips and turning into a blushy mess afterwards. Or keeping those books you have with you close at all times, looking at them fondly.”

“Of course I am.” Jaebeom jumps into the conversation when we’ve reached him, acting as if he’s heard our conversation perfectly through the ruckus of the crowd. The sparkle in his eyes dims and turns into a poisonous glare when he notices the guy besides me. “Who are you?”

“JB, this is Kunpimook.’’ I gesture from one to the other, jaw clenched in the hope the wolf man won’t actively show the hostility harboured in his gaze. ‘’The colleague I told you about.”

“Just call me Bam.” Politely, he holds out his hand.

“Im Jaebeom,” the other man introduces himself, fortunately accepting the gesture howbeit with a strained expression. “Her boyfriend.”

“Hey, you must be Y/N.” Holding a tray with three coffee cups in it, a young man joins our company. 

Like Jaebeom, who has proudly proclaimed himself my boyfriend, he is tall, slender yet muscular in build and has black hair. Nevertheless, whereas Jaebeom has a flair of being unapproachable, the stranger has a boyish air around him that’s open for contact.

He moves the carrier from his right hand to his left for a handshake. “I’m Jinyoung.”

Immediately, bells start ringing at the mention of his name. After all, there hasn’t been a single call the past week wherein he wasn’t mentioned. “Jaebeom’s told me about you. You’re a professor at the university here, right?”

“I am,” he beams, his proud tone indicating how much he likes his job. “I teach Mythology. It’s a course that encompasses folklore around the world, so it’s fairly broad.”

“You teach only one course?”

“I do, but I’m also a doctor. Well, still studying to be one officially, but I’m allowed to work at the university’s clinic already.”

 “Wow.’’ A professor and a doctor. There’s little else I can say as a mere travel journalist, so I just try to remain casual despite being utterly gobsmacked. 

“I know, it’s a lot. Nevertheless, somehow I manage to do it and occasionally write an article.”

How does he do it? He’s likely not that much older than I, but he’s evidently busier than I am.

“Show-off.” The grumbled insult interferes with the friendly conversation. The focus of Jaebeom’s glare has changed targets from Bam to the professor. However, the latter doesn’t seem to notice his friend’s chagrin.

“I’m simply introducing myself, Jay. Here,” Jinyoung hands him one of the paper cups from the carrier, “your apple and cinnamon tea.”

“You drink tea now?” I raise an eyebrow, surprised. It sounds like a strange concept because I’ve never seen him drink anything but black coffee.

“Doctor’s orders,” JB murmurs in response, discontent and keeping a close eye on Bam as he nips the warm beverage.

“I’ve put him on tea, preferably green, to lower the caffeine levels in his blood. Otherwise, he’ll be staying up all night reading and trying to cook. Oh,” he reaches for something in his pocket, pulling out a small bottle like the one JB showed me in the park and handing it to his friend, “you forgot your meds.”

“You’re on medication?” Bam asks without any implications or judgment. The funny thing is, despite being extroverted and extravagant - extra, in general - he actually studied psychology and thought about becoming a psychiatrist for a while. Therefore, he has a general interest in medicine and its function of helping the human psyche.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jaebeom sneers sarcastically, his voice closer to a growl than human speech. Then, he turns his attention to Jinyoung, who continues to hold his calm. “Why are you giving this to me now? Couldn’t you wait until we’re back? I’m not gonna take them in front of some stranger, especially not someone close to her. Besides, what does skipping one time or by a few hours matter?”

“Jay, don’t be like this,’’ the young professor sighs. ‘’You know how important timing is, especially with this new treatment.”

“You’re embarrassing me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

A nudge against my shoulder distracts me from the fierce bickering, Bam lowly whispering he’s leaving for home as well as an apology for what he has unleashed. I answer in a similar fashion when promising to call him later and apologizing for putting him into this situation. He merely waves dismissively, unbothered, and disappears in the crowd of trolleys and journeying strangers.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” I intervene lest the situation gets out of hand. A hand on his chest, I try to distract Jaebeom by shifting his focus to me. “Let’s go search for somewhere quiet around here where it’s just us. It’s important to me too you take your meds.”

“Let’s just go home.” His features soften, compromising like I did that day in the bookshop and didn’t want to eat. “I’ll take them in the car, alright?”

“Why do you have to be cross with me about it when you readily accept to take them when Y/N tells you to?” Jinyoung crosses his arms in defiance, lips pulled into a displeased pout.

 “Because she’s my mate,” Jaebeom argues, sure to show his teeth. Withal, he turns into a gentle giant again once he wraps an arm around my waist and looks down at me with so much adoration I feel my cheeks burning up. “Girlfriend, I mean. We’re dating, so she’s my girlfriend.”

“We’ve only been out together once,” I sputter. It’s wonderful to hear the affirmation we’re an item, although I still think it’s a bit too early to claim we are.

“Twice after today. And we’ve kissed,” he corrects me, tone indicating there is no use in protesting. Nevertheless, the sternness wavers as it warms into merriment. “I got you something. I’ll give it to you once we’re home.”

Jinyoung leans in as we head to the exit, whispering. “He went kinda overboard.”

“I didn’t,” Jaebeom growls. “Stop embarrassing me. Know your fucking place.”

“Boys,” I sigh in warning.

Both lower their head and let out a whimper in apology. “Sorry.”

“This is where you live?” Jinyoung parks the car in front of the tall white brick building overlooking the quay at the edge of town.

“Wow...” Jaebeom murmurs in the passenger seat, awed by the fact I live on the east side of town. It’s a recently redeveloped area, the warehouses refurbished into apartment complexes to help combat the growing housing issue.

“I do. Not for much longer, though.”

Both men turn in their seats, looking at me as if I’m insane.

 “You’re moving out?” The professor asks, although it’s more of an exclamation than a question. “Why would you leave this place? It’s one of the most desired places to live within the city.”

However, JB doesn’t care about the reason which makes me want to leave the neighbourhood behind. Instead, he’s anxious to know where to find me. “Where will you go?”

“Do you know those orchards on the outskirts of town? With the old cottages?” Both nod as confirmation. “Well, that’s where I’ll be moving to. I’ve been meaning to get out of the city for a while. Granted, the harbour district isn’t as busy as the city centre. But, despite being only twenty-two, I crave the silence of the countryside. Or, rather, its tranquility which I can also find in the suburbs.”

“You’re twenty-two?” Jaebeom asks, head tilted to the side.

 “I am,’’ I admit as I pull my knees up to make myself as small as possible. ‘’I never mentioned it because I didn’t think it’d matter. Does it, though?”

My voice is hardly audible, a frog stuck in my throat. Why did I have to be the one to bring this up?

“No, not at all! I still like you. A lot. A lot, a lot. But, I’m older than you. Quite a bit, I think.”

“How old?” The question barely rolls off the tongue, pale with dread.

Please, don’t let there be too big of an age gap.

“I’m twenty...” He looks at Jinyoung, brow furrowed.

“Twenty-eight,” the good doctor whispers, unconscious of the fact that the well-meant reminder is loud enough for me to hear.

“Twenty-eight,” Jaebeom confirms, staring back at me in anticipation. “Six years difference. Does it matter? To you, I mean. In how you see me?”

“It doesn’t. Do you see me differently?”

“I never did.”

“Age is only a number, after all,” the professor pitches in to cheer us up further. “Anyway, I’m dropping you off here.”

“Can’t you stay?” Surely I can’t let him leave without at least thanking him with a cup of coffee or tea.

“I’d love to, but- Don’t you snarl at me.” He points an accusing finger at JB, who’s showing his teeth and lowly growling like he did at the airport.

Caught red-handed, the wolfish man feigns ignorance and stares out the window. However, his sulky expression and scoff betray his true feelings.

“As I was saying,” Jinyoung continues after an exasperated sigh, “I’d love to, but I get to attend an interesting transplant operation today and have a bit of research to do for a new article.”

“That’s a shame. I owe you a cup of coffee, then. That’s the least I can do to repay you for driving me home.”

“I’ll make good on that promise soon. But for now, go on, you two.” He motions for us to get out of the car. “Don’t make it awkward by making me the third wheel.”

“Jinyoung.” Hesitantly, the big wolf man holds up his fist.

“No hard feelings.” He bumps his fist against JB’s.

“Good.” The seat belt comes undone, but Jaebeom doesn’t move to step outside yet. Instead, he leans in towards Jinyoung and takes a whiff, squinting as invisible question marks float in the air. “You smell weird, though.”

“Really?” The other man sniffs the collar of his jacket, shrugging casually in jest. “It’s not that bad.”

“Jinyoung.” Despite still looking a bit pale with remorse, the wolf man says the professor’s name harshly, his voice deep as he chastises the turn to humour. He grows still, gaze focused on his friend as he tries to look for what’s unspoken in the other’s body language.

However, there is nothing to see. Although, if there actually is something off, the professor hides it well. But Jaebeom doesn’t get the chance to scrutinize him long enough to see for himself because Jinyoung turns back to the wheel and waves dismissively. “I’m alright, Jae. Go. Have fun with your girlfriend.”

His friend nods, a strained look on his face, and opens the door. I follow behind, having silently observed the conversation from the backseat.

What’re you worried about? Jinyoung looks fine. Nothing wrong with him whatsoever.

Nevertheless, barely have we opened the trunk when the doctor hangs out the window. “And don’t forget your present!”

“Got it right here.” In confirmation, Jaebeom holds up a neat-looking paper bag, chique enough to originally have been used in a boutique.

“That’s my boy,” he chuckles before he resumes his seat.

With a dull thud, Jaebeom closes the trunk again. 

The engine roars to life and the car pulls out of the parking lot, Jinyoung honking a few times as we see him off.

I look from Jaebeom to the bag, leaning in to try and sneak a peek of its contents. “What did you get me?”

You promised me a shirt, but do you really need this big of a bag for one?

“I’m not telling you,” he muses.

I straighten my posture, a smile building as a golden opportunity presents itself. “Aw, what’s in the box?”

“Box? Y/N, it’s a bag.”

“I know, but- Never mind.” I wave the apparently obscure allusion with a dismissive gesture, disappointed he doesn’t get the reference. “Let’s go inside.”

“Are you upset?” he asks as we walk to the entrance of the building.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Another reassuring question burns on his tongue, but before he can ask it I stand on the tips of my toes to peck him on the lips and nose. “I’m not going to get upset simply because you didn’t understand me. Besides, it’s just a trivial matter. Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry.” 

Though I failed the first time, I again try to get a better look at the mysterious bag. As before, the attempt is in vain. “And curious.”

“I think you’ll like it. In fact,” his lips pull into a smug smirk, “I’m fairly sure you’ll look pretty in it. More pretty than you do now.”

It’s prettier.

I let the mistake slide.

To let him have his little moment of triumph.

There is no place like home. Truly, not a single hotel room or bed and breakfast in the world can substitute the small studio with its minimalistic interior in shades of white and grey.

I breathe in deeply, glad to stand in the familiar narrow hallway leading to the kitchen and space beyond. A faint musty smell cuts through the fragrance of the Nordic leather diffuser sticks I bought before going to Belgium.

Guess I’ll be cleaning tomorrow.

Luckily, it’s been only a few days so the level of dust isn’t too bad. Notwithstanding, the place could do with a little clean-up.

“Well, this is me.”

“I know,” Jaebeom replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his eyes on me.

“No, I mean, this,” I gesture around as I walk into the apartment, “is my place. My house.”

He murmurs something under his breath, seemingly contrasting two words as he tries to understand them or, rather, the difference between them.

“It’s nice,” he remarks when he has figured out his train of thought, looking around appreciatively.

“The cottage will be nicer, I think. I can’t wait to decorate it, make it cozier than this place. Maybe get some plants, hang up a few photos-’’

“A few of us together, maybe?” He proposes as he, too, takes his shoes off and follows me into the living room.

“For example.” I nod at the bag when we settle down on the couch next to the window overlooking the quay. “Can I open my present now?”

“Say ‘please’.” Arms crossed, he leans in so our faces are mere inches away from each other. His breath ghosts warmly over my lips when he continues in a tender yet playful babying tone. “Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy. Manners, young lady.”

“Can I open my present, please?” Regardless of the chance to finally satisfy my curiosity, I don’t dive into the gift directly. Instead, I stay my hand, bothered by a nagging feeling his words are familiar to me. “What you just said, isn’t that a quote?”

“It is, but,’’ Jaebeom bites his lip, eyes averted to the ground, ‘’to be honest, I can’t remember who said it.”

Funny, how you can remember quotes. Maybe that’s how we can communicate in the future if your condition gets worse. Although, let’s hope that’s not the case for a long time.

“Ralph…’’ I start, trying to recall who originally said it. ‘’Ralph Waldo? No, that’s not right. He went by his middle name. Wait, his middle name was Ralph so it was him.”

“Have you read his work?”

“Honestly speaking, I haven’t. However, I have a friend who studies American literature and poetry and she sends poems, quotes and the occasional snippet. I think I’ve seen him in passing. Anyways,’’ I pull the bag onto my lap, giddy as a child in a candy shop, ‘’let’s see what’s inside.”

The present catches me off-guard because the bundles of clothing are both what I expected and yet not. “You...” I trail off, checking and double checking the amount of shirts. “Seven?”

“One for every day of the week,” he beams, proudly barking his reasoning.

These will last me two weeks if not longer. Minimalism isn’t his thing, is it?

I pull out a big grey hoodie and hold it up to my nose to sniff it. A wild forest of which the air is faintly scented by a cologne with fruity undertones and the musty smell of books. I hum contently, enraptured by the scent. By him. 

From the corner of my eye, I see Jaebeom grinning in unadulterated amusement. Albeit not without effort, I lower the article of clothing. “I know this is likely stupid to ask, but eventually they’ll have to be washed so what if your scent fades?”

“I’ll just scent them again.’’ He shrugs casually before he points inside the bag. ‘’Also, what’s in the little box on the bottom might help with that too.”

In my astonishment, I missed the cardboard square at the bottom which turns out to be the packaging for a bottle of cologne. “You can spray it on. Sure, it’s not really purely my scent but hopefully it’s still rem- remi- a reminder of me.”

You meant reminiscent, didn’t you?

“Or I can go to you and have you scent them,” I joke, only half-serious.

“If that means more time together,” his mismatched eyes sparkling with gleeful stars, “sure, why not? I’d be glad to help.”

“Thank you.’’ Absentmindedly, I fidget with the folds of the hoodie. ‘’I really like it.”

Jaebeom ruffles my hair, letting out a chuff. “You’re welcome. Now, why don’t you just sit tight and I’ll make us something to eat?”

“Don’t set my kitchen aflame, though,” I warn him as the wolf man gets up from the couch.

“I won’t,” he answers smugly before leaning in to steal a kiss. “I promise.”

With a spring in his step, JB sets off for the kitchen with the bag of groceries he pulled from Jinyoung’s trunk. The two must have dropped by the supermarket before coming to pick me up.

A pillow propped up against the armrest and the blanket formerly draped over the couch now covering my shoulders, I lie down for a nap.

As consciousness fades, a warm affectionate wolfish smile pierces through the growing haze. Jaebeom murmurs something unintelligible and turns his gaze back to the chopping board.

I am home.

Dreaming of two little pups running around an orchard.

“Dinner’s ready!” The loud remark barely filters in until it’s repeated up close, the merry bark lowered in volume. A hand shakes my shoulder, but what does the trick in waking me up is the warm wetness nibbling away at my ear. However, it doesn’t stay there, but travels down the side of my neck and ends its journey at the hem of my shirt, giving it a gentle yet fierce tug.

“Y/N, come on. Get up,” JB whines, the words distorted thanks to keeping the fabric firmly between his teeth. He tugs at it again.

What on earth?

I turn onto my other side, causing the big wolf man to let go. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you to eat.” He makes himself smaller, gaze briefly averted to the side before looking at me again, continuing in the same tender yet stern tone he uses whenever food is involved. “With me. This is my first time cooking for you and I practiced really hard while you were away. So, please, eat with me. I want to know whether I did a good job.”

“Do you have to drag me by the collar for that?” I reach out to scratch him behind his ear, tracing his jaw as my fingers work upwards.

Jaebeom’s eyes mist over, his expression turning dreamy as he leans into the touch. “Want- Don’t know… know how to- Come to… kitchen. Although, maybe, just...”

“Feels good?”

A hasty sheepish smile flashes on his lips as he nods in agreement, eyes closed and speechless.

You really are a wolf. Weirdo. My weirdo.

A whine slips out when I stop. JB slowly opens his eyes again, blinks a few times before he clears his throat. “Can we do that again? After dinner, maybe?”

 “If I liked what you made, sure. However,” I kiss his forehead, “since you asked so nicely, we can do this again after we’ve eaten. So, will you eat with me?”

Will you stay with me?

“What’s wrong?” Picking up on the worrying thought, he tilts his head to the side and scrutinizes my face as he did Jinyoung’s earlier today.

“Nothing.” I shake my head, dismissing the thought since we’ve already said everything there is to say about it. “Just a silly thought.”

His expression falters. “I’m being over- overbear- too much.”

“No, not at all! Don’t say that, silly.”

Jaebeom nudges my nose with his, his tone sweet in an attempt to make me confess what’s bothering me. “Then what is it?”

“I’ve never done this before,” I admit at last. “No one’s ever cooked for me aside from my mom and grandmother or had a guy proudly proclaim himself as my boyfriend. This is simply new to me so it makes me feel, well, a bit awkward. It’s unreal, like a dream that might go up in smoke any second. That’s maybe a better way to put it.”

“I’m really here. Also, remember what you promised me? You’d stay by my side until you can’t anymore and I promised you the same. I’m a wolf, after all. Loyal to my pack or, rather, my- uh- my bi- no, that’s wrong. My lady,” he grabs my hand and lifts the fingers to his lips for a chaste kiss, “I am your gentleman and I won’t go anywhere without telling you first. And, if possible, I’ll take you with me because I refuse to leave you behind. But for now, let’s go eat. Together. I’ll try not to make a mess.”

Don’t cry, Y/N. Don’t you tear up right in front of him.

I take in a shivering breath, swallow hard, and try to regain composure.

We’re here together and wherever it is we’re going next, we’ll be there as we are now.

Side by side.

Even though I’m hungry and the table is literally three steps away, I groan as I get up from the couch. Travelling takes its toll, no matter how short the distance might be. All the same, I shuffle towards the chair facing the kitchen and plop down on it, watching JB plate up. “What are we having?”

“Steak with blanched vegetables and sweet potato mash,” he proudly announces while serving the food.

“Uhm, that’s very nice. However- it’s alright if you don’t remember, but I’m vegetarian.”

“I remembered.” A bright smile forms on his lips, eyes alight with triumph and joy. “That’s why your steak is soy-based. I found it while doing groceries or, rather, Jinyoung pointed it out. He’s been teaching me how to cook and bake. Well, we’re still working on the latter, but I did bring homemade cheesecake for dessert. I still wonder why they call it cheesecake when what’s going in it isn’t really cheese.”

“Beats me too.”

“You got slapped by cream cheese?” Visibly gobsmacked, he leans in with an expression that holds the middle between curiosity and utter confusion. “How did that happen and was it painful?”

“I mean I don’t understand either,” I reply, shaking my head with a low chuckle, and cut into the steak. As the knife sinks into it, a rosy fluid oozes out of it as if it’s been cooked medium-raw which is exactly how I liked it back in my non-vegetarian days. “But baking hasn’t been a success?”

Jaebeom sits back, shoulders hunched as he pokes the carrot on his plate with his fork. “I burned a cake, pulled it from the oven as black as charcoal. Then there’s the case of the exploded soufflés and marble cake that turned out to have no marbling at all. Not to speak of the melted... what’re they called again? There’s also a song that’s got to do with them. Jinyoung sings it a lot. Rocky road! Melted rocky roads and millionaire’s breads.”

“Maybe stick to cooking instead of baking. Not everyone has a knack for both.”

He sighs in defeat. “Maybe I should, but I’ll still try to make you something every once in a while that’s actually good.”

“As long as you don’t blow up one of our kitchens.” I include my kitchen as well because the mere thought of baking together spreads a rosy flush throughout my body that leaves me warm with affection. Besides, it’s another excuse to see him wear an apron, maybe pull some shenanigans myself and have something to eat with a cup of tea or coffee and a good book.

That would make for a nice date. We should do that soon.

“I’ll try.” He holds out his pinky. “Promise.”

The adorable genuineness of the determined gesture is what drives me to seal the promise by wrapping my pinky around his. “I’ll hold you to it.”

While eating the simple yet well-made dinner, the conversation is about novels, the shop, Jinyoung’s cooking lessons and the weary stories of how Kunpimook and I crossed Bruges in search of the best chocolate. Jaebeom hasn’t done much in the time I was away it seems. The bookshop’s been quiet, so he’s had plenty of time to read and work on his cooking. Nevertheless, his expression turns dreamy when I show him the pictures from the trip, but right beneath the surface of it floats a form of sad longing which is too unclear to be certain of or to be properly described.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m glad you got to see this,” he murmurs as he takes my phone from my hand to leave through the collection again. “I’m kinda jealous, though. It’s been so long since I went somewhere other than here. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been somewhere else.”

Brows furrowed, he tries to remember the last time he travelled. Withal, he comes up short, the melancholy of missing memories staining his voice. “I’ve been nowhere except here. Chained.”

“This place clearly is your home, that’s why it’s keeping you here. It knows you belong here and I’m glad you’ve remained.”

He lets out a breathless laugh which oddly holds the middle between a growl and a giggle. “I’m happy you showed up at my doorstep, then. But, the cottage you’ll be moving to... it’d- it’d be nice if I could make that my home too.’’ His cheeks grow pink like rose petals. ‘’Well, maybe not literally, but it would be nice if it would become our little somewhere.”

“Our little somewhere,” I repeat, charmed by the sound of it.

“Our home. Well, concretely speaking. Abstractly, and most importantly, you are my home.’’ He gets up to move to my side, where he crouches at my feet. Foreheads rested against each other, he easily nips at my nose and nuzzles it affectionately with his. ‘’You are what breaks the silence, makes me able to hope for better days.”

“The same goes for you because even though you sometimes still intimidate and freak me out a little bit, you make my days more interesting than they have been in years. So, thank you. For being here, spending your time in my company.”

“Thank you for the same reasons. Now,” JB leans away to get up and starts to clear the dishes, “how about dessert?”

Before either of us is aware of it, the clock on the wall notes it’s already ten past eight when we finish off the homemade cheesecake. Naturally, partially to also do my fair share, I stand up from my chair before the big wolf man does in an attempt to clear the table and do the dishes. However, when I’m about to walk to the kitchen with them, Jaebeom unapologetically takes them from my hands.

“What’re-? JB, you don’t have to do everything! Let me at least do the dishes.” Flattered yet a tad annoyed by the kindness, and poorly conveying my appreciation, I protest in a harsher tone than I intended to use.

Fortunately, though also a bit comically, he remains unperturbed. Notwithstanding, an unyielding sternness underlines his voice when he responds. “You’ve had a long journey, so sit down and relax. I’ll be right with you after cleaning up.”

Henceforth, unable to protest and rendered comatose by the delicious food, I plop down on the couch. Nestled into the corner, I have a proper view of the man who’s claimed my kitchen for himself.

Although it’s an intrusion to a certain degree, it’s quite soothing to watch Jaebeom defy classic gender roles. Contently humming a song and barely shy of skipping, he cleans up the mess with a tea towel tucked into the side of his pants. 

When he’s done, he hangs the tea towel over the stove’s handle, washes his hands, and settles down next to me. On a whim, though it’s maybe because of instinct, I get up from my little corner and nestle against him. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer as I drape my leg over his thigh to get into a more comfortable position.

Situated snugly in his safe presence, I close my eyes and sigh in pure content. “Can you stay here tonight?”

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to be alone and rest?” he murmurs into my hair.

“I can recharge with you. Besides, you’re nice and warm.” I snuggle up to him more, basking in the mixture of wild wood and cologne. “A perfect pillow.”

He pulls me on his lap, wraps his arms around my body and pulls me flush against his chest, which feels sculpted but not hard with muscle. Abs are nice and all, but I prefer the softness of a defined though not hardened chest. 

“If it brings you rest,” he curls his finger under my chin and lifts it, compelling me to look at him, “I’ll stay.”

I run my fingers along his jaw and up to his ear, immediately reducing him to the puppy-like state he tends to get into apparently when being touched like this. “Thank you.”

“My pl- pleasure.” What would have been a normal response is lost in a growl when I accidentally brush against his crotch as I shift my weight and sit up a little.

His eyes snap open, the hazelnut brown and ocean blue irises darkened, devoid of any sense of their former satisfied tenderness. With his thumb he traces the outline of my lips, lowly purring. “Pretty.”

“Jaebeom,” I place my hands on his shoulders, maintaining a bit of distance between us. We shouldn’t rush this, but the sensation of his growing bulge against my thigh, throbbing against the inside of it, convolutes every thought. Somehow, his scent seems to have gotten stronger too, overwhelming me with the same clear message the firm grip on my hips has. 

I don’t push him back as he leans in, bridging the emptiness I initiated. Foreheads rested against each other and his calloused hands on my cheeks, he guesses what’s essentially withholding me. “Scared?”

“A bit,” I whimper against his palm, the words muffled by the rough warm skin.

“It’s me, Y/N. I won’t hurt you.” Feverish yet sweetly with persuasive conviction, he kisses me. “I’m your gentleman, your boyfriend.”

“I’m afraid it’ll hurt. That we’re going too fast.”

“We’re not. I want this. I want more of you. With you. But,’’ lips pulled into a straight line, he clears his throat while looking as if he is restraining a wild beast that can easily get the better of him if he lets go, ‘’I’ll leave it up to you.”

So, what you’re asking is… 

Jaebeom takes a deep breath to regain his composure, though it has little effect. His breathing remains heavy, close to panting. Nevertheless, the gentle stars return to his eyes as the strained expression softens. “Will you have me?”

[rreyie]

Fight for Us

Chapter ii- A Field

summary- after getting a rather ominous statement from reiner, you figure out exactly what it means.

warnings- major triggers- attempted suicide, guilt, mentions of figurative violence, dark thoughts. read with caution if you are sensitive to those issues.

a/n- this chapter was definitely a hard one to write, but i mean i don’t think it came out terrible? i promise all this angst is temporary and i’ll make it get fluffier :( 

Reiner and you sat on the curb of the street, looking up into the midnight sky that hung over the two of you. The moon was at half tonight, and you could see the craters on it even though it was millions of miles away.

A cool breeze came along through the air, sending a shiver down your spine. Reiner could see you shaking out of the corner of his golden eyes, shimmering bright in the pale moonlight.

“You’re cold, aren’t you?” He asked. “You should get home before you catch a cold.”

“I-is that okay?” You ask, body trembling in a weak attempt to stay warm. “I don’t w-wanna leave you here.”

Reiner chuckled. “Don’t worry about me. We’ll catch up in the morning if that’s okay with you.”

You nod, and get yourself up off of the cold pavement. Reiner stays there looking up at the moon, a content expression on his face.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Reiner”, you say, and wave. Turning the opposite direction, you head home to go to sleep for the night.

Before you head too far off, Reiner clears his throat loud enough to make you hear him and turn your attention back to him, a puzzled expression on your face.

“Y/n?” He asks, still not turning away from you.

“What?”

“...I’m sorry.”

You arch a brow at this, not knowing exactly what he meant by this. “You don’t need to be sorry for anything. What are you apologizing to me for, anyway?”

Reiner sighed, one that was barely audible. “You’ll know in the morning.”

———

After heading home confused and partly concerned, you tucked yourself into bed after reading a part of a romance novel you borrowed off your parents bookshelf.

At one point, the two main lovers in the story were frolicking in a field after running away from their disapproving parents. When trying to visualize this, you swore you might have accidentally saw you and Reiner instead of those two lovers.

If only the world was as complicated as that field of flowers.

When you woke up the next morning, it took you a moment to remember your conversation that you and Reiner had last night. His last words before you

left echoed through your head.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, what could that mean? You ask yourself, pondering on this question while slipping out of your nightgown and into your normal day clothes. You shrugged off the question for now, it couldn’t mean anything too deep.

Today you had plans to go into town just for the hell of it. Perhaps a nice shopping day in downtown Marley would be nice, maybe stopping for some coffee or tea afterwards. And of course, you had to pop into the warriors dorms to say hello to Reiner again. He did say he wanted to finish catching up with you.

After getting the rest of your clothing on, you headed out the door to the busy streets of Marley, already crowded with people and merchants. It was like everyone in this country had collectively decided to come out and buy groceries this very hour.

The walk to the headquarters wasn’t long, perhaps fifteen minutes or so from your apartment. Once you got there, you saw two men with blonde hair and a woman with black hair that was rather messy. You could recognize them easily, since they still flaunted some of the features they had when they were children. One was Porco Galliard, another Zeke Yeager, the woman was Pieck Finger.

The first one to notice your presence from across the cobblestone street was Porco. His head instantly turned, and a wide smile formed on his lips.

“Hey, y/n!” He shouted, throwing a hand up in the air and waving it.

You smile, and cross the street to meet the other warriors. Eventually Zeke notices you after lighting a cigarette, followed by Pieck.

“How are you?” Pieck asks, wrapping you in a warm hug. Her demeanor was always soft and comforting, making you feel safe every time you were around her. “You got tall, it feels like the last time I saw you, you were only this high!” She gestures her hand to somewhere around her chest.

“Yeah”, you giggle. “Puberty does wonders I guess. I heard about your victory in Fort Slava, that was pretty cool if I do say so myself.”

“It was, but it was a little terrifying to see a canon being pointed at me every five minutes. But nonetheless it was still cool.” Porco chuckled, and you saw the faintest shade of pink spread across his cheeks. He reached a hand to smooth back his blonde hair, even though he must’ve had a gallon of hair gel on him.

“So um, have you seen Reiner?” You asked them. Porcos face instantly dropped upon hearing his name. “I figured he would be here, since the whole titan shifter thing.”

“He uh, hasn’t showed up to the meeting this morning”, Zeke added, breathing out a puff of grey smoke. You coughed as your nose picked up the scent of ash. “You could probably find him in the dormitories.”

“Thank you Zeke”, you say. “I’d better go find him. He said we would catch up today since we didn’t have the time yesterday. I’ll see you guys later!”

You wave goodbye to them, Zeke and Pieck waving back while Porco just stood there.

Porco didn’t want to admit it, but hearing Reiners name come out of your mouth like that made his blood boil. He saw yesterday the way your eyes lit up when you looked at him, how you hugged him so tightly. And the worst part was that you liked to hang around that asshole, the one who had the chance to make things better, but didn’t. He swore he could do better than him in every way possible.

You walked down the halls to where all the dorms were, all the doors open except one. You assumed Reiner was probably in the occupied room, so you made your way down the hall to that closed door.

Your footsteps echoed in the near empty hallway, boots clacking on the polished floor. Once you came to the door, you gulped down your nervousness and placed three knocks on the wooden door.

There was no reply. You waited patiently for another thirty seconds or so, but soon grew impatient and decided to just open the door.

“Reiner, I was wondering where you wer-“

Your breath was practically stolen from you because of the sight laid out in front of you. Reiner sat on his desk chair, a locked and loaded rifle sitting in his throat. His eyes were dull, hair a mess and skin pale.

You were frozen. You couldn’t comprehend why that rifle was in his mouth. He was always so lively, what the hell was he doing?

Then it clicked.

“...I’m sorry. You’ll understand in the morning.”

He was going to shoot himself.

You ran to his side, trying to hold back an outburst of tears from streaming down your cheeks, you could feel them building up in your eyes. Reiner swiftly pulled out the rifle, a gob of spit coating the head. He let out a few strained coughs, letting you know exactly how deep that rifle was inside his mouth.

“Reiner, what the hell are you doing?” You ask, voice cracking. “Don’t tell me...”

“It’s what it looks like y/n, i know. I just don’t- I can’t- fuck, this is hard to explain...”

Before he could let out another word, you found your arms enveloping his cold body, wrapping around both of his broad shoulders and around his upper back.

“Don’t say anything”, you whisper in his ear. “Just... just sit with me.”

Reiner could feel his tears start to come up too, clumping up at his lashline and threatening to come down.

“I’m s-sorry I’m useless”, he hiccuped. “I-I’m so tired...”

His grip tightened around your back, and he soon found himself clinging to you, the tears rolling down his puffy cheeks. He sniffled, and let out a broken sob. His tears began to soak through your shirt, creating a temporarily stained spot on your shirt. But that was the least of your concern right now.

“You’re- you’re not useless, Reiner”, you say. “You’re everything that this country needs.”

“I’m just holding them back, y-y/n...” he said, almost whispering in a voice you’ve never heard come out from him. “I’m the reason t-that we lost Bertholdt and the others. I would be better with my brains blown out right now.”

You slightly gasp at his statement, but don’t dare to pull away in the state he’s in right now. “Don’t you say that ever again, Reiner. You were chosen for a reason-“

Reiner pulled away from you, tears still rolling down his cheeks. “R-remember what I told you last night? Marcel swayed the decisions to protect Porco. It wasn’t supposed to be me. It shouldn’t have been me, ever.”

“Look at me”, you say, taking ahold of his face, holding his head between your two palms. “You’ve done everything you could- in fact, you’ve done more than I ever could! You’re brilliant, Reiner, you hear me?”

Reiner was trembling at this point, shaking like a nervous puppy at the vet. His eyes were wide with panic, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. You didn’t know what else to say.

Your mind wanders to a darker place for a moment, if you had shown up a minute too late to see his cold body on the floor. What would you have done? How would you have forgiven yourself? You were going to pray tonight for getting the chance to talk him out of it.

His eyes clenched shut, and he buried his head in your shoulder. You could physically feel your heart shatter for Reiner, being in a condition like this. You couldn’t help but cry along with him, not knowing what else to say. Muffled groans and sobs escaped his mouth, quieted by your shirt you were wearing. Each cry felt like somebody was stabbing you repeatedly, the vibrations from his wails shaking you to your core.

“Im sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He wailed. “I’m just so fucking tired of this planet!”

“S-stop apologizing, R-Reiner...” you say, a knot forming in your throat. “L-let’s just go over here, okay? R-Relax.”

You take his hand and guide him up a few steps to lead him to his bed, where he quickly sits down, unable to stand because of the intense emotions. You sit down with him, in fear of what he would do if you left. You reached out a hand, which he quickly started to hold, squeezing your palm.

Reiners cries start to calm, not entirely, but the volume has certainly gone down. He hiccuped twice before speaking clearly.

“Y-you shouldn’t have to see me like this.”

“I’ll take this over your blood all over the floor any day”, you reply, wiping a tear from your cheek. You notice a few staining his, so you quickly reach out a thumb to his cheek and wipe away a salty tear or two.

“Thanks”, he said.

You could hear some yelling outside, the distant chatter of children audible through the wall. You guessed the warrior candidates were out to play during one of the rare breaks they had.

“If Gabi saw me like that”, Reiner began. “I would be screwed. And my mother? Dear god...”

“I’ll keep this a secret if you want to”, you quickly say. “Just make sure you put that rifle somewhere else. It makes me uneasy thinking that you could... you know.”

“I’ll do that”, he adds.

“Good”, you say. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you. It’s out of protection.”

Reiner nods. “I get it.”

After sitting in comfortable silence for a moment, Reiners mouth opens, as if he was going to say something. But nothing came out.

You turn to him, confused about what he was trying to do. “Something wrong?”

“It’s nothing”, he said. “I’ve just been thinking about... about how you’ve been here all this time. When we were kids you cleaned me up after Porco beat the shit out of me. You even brought me stuff to eat when we couldn’t afford much. And now you’re here... after all of this. Why? Why are you here?”

Now that you thought about it, why were you here? What had compelled you to stick with him? Was there something more than platonic feelings towards him, No, no. That couldn’t be right, you thought. You’re only feeling these things because you missed him.

“Because... you’re my friend”, you quickly answer. “This is what friends do.”

A minuscule smile curved on Reiners pale lips, indicating he was content with your answer. “Huh.”

After sitting in a few more seconds of utter quietness, Reiner looks at the clock and quickly gets up, smoothing out the folds on his uniform. “Fuck. I told the others we would go out for drinks tonight. Plus the festival is tomorrow. Uh, wanna come with us? I’m positive the others won’t mind.”

“I don’t see why not”, you reply.

“Alright”, he says. “I’ll go shower. We’re going to the pub at 7.”

“So it’s a date?” You ask.

Reiners brow arches. “What?”

You cover your mouth, shocked at what you just said. “I-it’s a saying. Like i’ll be there. Not an actual date, of course not-“

“Oh. That’s okay”, he cuts you off. “I’ll um, see you at eight then?”

“Perfect”, you say, heading to the door, heat rising to your cheeks. “See you then!”

As you close the door, you immediately face palm yourself and sigh. Why the hell did that come out of you? Now Reiner was totally going to suspect that you felt something that is definitely not platonic, and he might leave you!

After realizing how much overthinking you were doing, that finally tore it. You felt something different for Reiner Braun. But you were going to have to hide it for a while now.

[peaches-writes]

member: hyunjin

wc: 1k

genre: angst, exes au that’s just it i think

note: just a little something i feel like i should put out into the world somehow (but not under independent means, so it seems lol). anw, i think im still on hiatus but hello! been a while

[11:57 P.M.] The elevator opens with an obnoxiously cheerful ding and bright white lights for 11:57 P.M. Hyunjin gestures for you to go in first with a shaky chuckle and you do the same with your tired smile even when it’s you going home. 

He insists harder, anyway, out of habit. You always came first, even in the little things, it seems. 

And you eventually do give in, a little easier than usual because it’s almost his birthday—or so you say as he steps in after and presses the button to his left. “L” for the lobby, 16 floors below from the roof deck where the birthday is untimely dwindling down. 

The elevator doors then naturally slide back close as Hyunjin takes his stance directly across from you, sharply cutting the mindless chatter and faint alcohol scent that you two leave behind then above you. 

Sixteen. In the now deafening silence, his warm ears notice the absence of the faint jazz music that played just hours ago when the two of you were going up. These days, your presence makes him feel as if I should say something but he still can’t, for the life of him, figure out even now that you’re alone again. 

Fifteen. He tries stealing a glance at you from the mirror you lean against but you catch him almost immediately with a teasing brow. For some reason, realizing how far apart you are from each other makes him choke out an untimely laugh. 

Fourteen. “What?” 

Thirteen. Did you know that buildings don’t label their 13th floor as such because it’s supposedly bad luck? Now, Hyunjin just wishes there was one at least in this building just so he can trick myself into thinking that he has more time with you. 

Twelve. “Hm? Nothing.” You expected that answer out of him, he can tell by the way you nonchalantly nod in response almost right after. 

But he really wanted to say a lot of things. How are you? Did you enjoy the party? 

Can I still see you after this? 

Eleven. You notice him swinging in place as he looks up at the screen indicating the floor. Under other circumstances, you would’ve laughed or joined him but he only hears silence from your end. You must be really tired. 

He stops before the 1 becomes a 0. 

Ten. Nine. Nothing ever really felt right with these numbers for him. They just look weird in some way that makes him feel uneasy. 

Eight. Now, that is a number he likes, sometimes along with 7 when he’s in a good mood. But as the sentiment of the saying goes, the things we like always end up passing too quickly for our liking, even floor numbers. 

Hyunjin peek at your reflection from the mirror next to him this time and sees you texting someone on your phone. 

He doesn’t want to think that it’s the guy from the cafe a few days ago. 

The typing is sonically faint but it rings twice in his head as they come in the moment and it makes him feel dizzier than ever. Unintentionally, he misses the sight of the number 6 flashing above his head because of this. 

He does catch the screen slide down to 5, though, and he guesses you notice it too as it slows down to 4 and the doors suddenly open to an empty corridor. 

The two of you both poke your heads outside to no one in particular, catching a few lit-up rooms of hushed whispers and familial laughter in the distance. Hyunjin looks over at you and shrug as coolly and nonchalantly as he can. 

You smile knowingly in return, as if you can still see through how he’s terribly afraid of the dark. 

The doors then close on its own as you both take a step back further into the elevator, proceeding down to 3 and 2. He lets out a yawn in between and pretend to lean against the railings lining the mirrors. 

“You should sleep the whole day after.” You point out without even looking up at him, just as the elevator reaches the M floor. 

You might not even care about it now, seeing as it’s so late at night, but you don’t ask him this time why it’s labelled as the M floor instead of the 1st floor like you did when you were going up. Not that he knows the answer now hours later. When did he even know about things you wanted, anyway? 

You finally reach the lobby, “L” as the elevator finally announces before opening with the same obnoxious ding once more. The doors open to a soft lone orange light by the main entrance, instead, and you politely wave goodbye to Hyunjin. He holds the doors open for you with a tired smile and a goodnight on his end. 

But somehow, his finger doesn’t leave the button even when you turn your back on him and walk away. 

“Wait!” He finds himself blurting out at the last moment before you can even disappear down the steps, like he always does. 

You turn around belatedly, phone still in your hand. You were about to hold it higher for a phone call. 

The diamond ring on your finger, even in the dim glow of the lobby, shines a little too brightly for my tired eyes. 

He didn’t actually plan for this. But he still has so much he wants to say and he strongly feels like you should at least hear one of them before you go. 

“Stay safe.” He ends up saying after a moment, flinch slightly in place and clearly indicating that that was not not what he meant to say. “Text me when you get home?” 

He meant to ask, above all of the unspoken words, if you still love him. It’s a long shot but he just needs to know before you disappear completely. 

And you vaguely let him know. You nod in acknowledgement and he just knows by this that you purposely chose not to read between the lines this time. “Happy birthday?” You point to your watch right below your phone as it reaches for a call. “Go back up, the boys must be waiting with your cake and candles by now.” 

“Thank you.” For everything. 

He then lifts his finger off the open button as soon as your ride pulls up on the driveway. The ride back to the party is faster this time. 

m.list

@skzwriternet 

[tooruluv]

Tobio Kageyama x F!Reader ( part 9 )

❝ goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished, but the book is closed. tell me, have we started a new one? ❞

description: it had been years since you and kageyama broke up. it had been years since the two of you left each other, hatred brewing. fate works in funny ways, you thought, as you caught his eye across the café. love works in funny ways, you thought, as you woke up in his bed the next morning, his fiance calling his phone.

genre: forbidden love, cheating, ex lovers, (all characters are aged up)

word count: 2,109

warnings/notes: im so sorry for the delayed update!! midterms have been kicking my ass. anyway. only one part left!

tag list: @kara-grayson04​ @sadhwstudent​ @unlikelytigerqueen​ @kageyamavibes​ @monviemoo​ @tazzi-baby​ @1800xibal​ @amirahroronoa​ @lozzybowe​ @stinkybitch1919​​ @sillykittt​​ @pinknugget​​ @celamoon​​ @bokutosworld​​ @elianetsantana​​ @chao01248​​ @vhskenma​​ @yoitsseulgi​​ @milegonzalez96​​ @doremifa-so-fucking-done​​ @cuddlejeongin​​ @yeahhemmings-​ @melanieacademy​ @killuaking​ @animewhore28​

prev | next [final]

The second that the words left Oikawa’s mouth, he was paralyzed. He hadn’t expected to say it. His eyes were wide, skin flushed and mouth agape. Surprise and regret immediately masked his anger.

He couldn’t even move as you turned and left.

Let’s paint the picture, shall we? You, a girl who still had an incredible amount of love for your ex boyfriend to the extent that you were comfortable being the mistress in his affair. Kageyama, said ex boyfriend who still had a lot of unresolved feelings for you to the point where he had considered (on more than one account) disregarding his entire upcoming wedding. And Oikawa, your best friend and fuck buddy for the past five plus years who had just accidentally revealed that he was, in fact, in love with you.

Let’s just say that you walked a lot that day.

You walked through the city until the sky turned dark. You walked along the neon lights, through the park, and back into the city streets. You walked near the water, you walked past hundreds of people. It was incredibly melodramatic.

It wasn’t until you realized that you were actually tired, and your feet hurt, that you sat on a bench. It was pretty secluded. The bench sat facing the water, the city behind it, and you did nothing but sit.

A body sat beside yours, on the complete opposite side of the bench with as much space as possible between you. You almost giggled to yourself, despite everything.

“Hey.” The person spoke, and you knew who it was. There was only one person on the face of the earth that would take it upon themselves to be that respectful to sit on the opposite side of the bench you were sitting alone at, at night.

“Hey, Hinata.” You looked up at him. He’d grown a lot since high school.

“You found my bench.”

“Your bench?”

He chuckled, making you smile. “No, not my bench. But the bench I like to sit at when I have a lot to think about.”

“So, you would sit and think about volleyball on this bench?”

“Yeah.” He smiled brightly. There’s something about Shoyo Hinata that made it impossible not to smile. “It’s really pretty here. And there’s a lot of good food behind us.”

You turned back to the water, eyes scanning for answers.

“I’m still in love with Kageyama.” You told him.

“I know.”

“And Oikawa just told me that he was in love with me.”

“Wait, really? Finally!” He stopped himself. “I mean. I knew that, too.”

“Does everyone tell you everything?”

“Yeah, usually.” He moved a little bit closer, but not by much. “If you think you know someone’s secrets, I’m sure I already know about it.”

“Even Tsuki?”

“You mean how Hana cheated on him with Kageyama and now you are going to the wedding with him, him being Tsuki, to make them both jealous?”

“Damn. You’re insane.”

“Nah, I’m just a short stack of secrets.”

Another bubble of laughter. 

“You don’t plan to ruin the wedding, do you?” Hinata asked. 

You shook your head. “No, no. We aren’t monsters. We just want to make the two of them shake in their boots a bit. There’s way too much money being spent for us to ruin the wedding. Besides, I would somehow end up being the one sending out apology letters to family and friends for coming.”

“Yeah that would be embarrassing.”

The wedding was the next day.

You didn’t go to the rehearsal, and even took it upon yourself to stay the night at Tsukishima’s.

When you arrived at his door with a bag (that you quickly snatched of necessities from Kageyama and Hana’s), Tsuki just opened the door and simply asked you to join him in watching a murder mystery podcast. You accepted.

“Why can’t I wear a fucking suit?” You complained as you shoved yourself into the nicest dress you owned. It was beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and hugged you in exactly the right places. You just hated the process of getting ready.

“Because you look great in that dress. Now hurry up because we don’t want to be the only ones late.”

You left Tsuki’s bathroom in full glam.

You watched Tsuki’s eyes shift from your chest to your eyes. You smirked. “I guess the dress works.”

“It definitely works.” Tsuki rolled his eyes, bringing his arm up for you. You linked your arm through.

“You guys have fun!!” Yamaguchi called from the living room. You waved as you walked by. “Holy shit, you guys look likes gods.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you cuss.” You said.

“You’ve obviously never talked to him.” Tsuki scoffed. “We’ll be back later. Or, at least, I will be.”

“Don’t die. And don’t kill anyone!”

“No promises.”

Tobio Kageyama always thought that on his wedding day, you would be the one walking down the aisle in white.

He would never admit it; but to be completely honest, he had thought about it a lot during the duration of your relationship. He had imagined standing at the end of the aisle and you walking down, and kissing you as man and wife. It was a stupid imagination for a high school relationship, but he did imagine it.

He watched as you walked into the building by yourself. He was greeting everyone, welcoming them before the wedding and telling the women where to find Hana in her dressing room.

You were absolutely stunning in the most brilliant red dress he had ever seen. The wedding was white and blue, and you stood out in the most amazing way he had ever witnessed.

Kageyama couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you turn to the door, where Tsukishima just entered. His stomach churns when he sees you greet him with a hug and the two of you laugh at something Tsukishima said. And he hates how evidently the man is your date.

He has to physically stop himself from chasing after you when you pull Tsuki by the hand and drag him through the sea of bodies to where a few members of the old volleyball team are (ie Hinata, Daichi, Suga, and Noya).

His heart leaps violently against the bones of his chest when a thought floods into his mind. The thought that you were with Tsukishima, the thought that you knew of everything that happened since you’ve been gone.

He felt as though he couldn’t breathe.

You kept yourself at Tsuki’s side the entire time.

There was a little get together before the actual wedding. Everyone just stood around and chatted with everyone that they only get to see once a year, greeting the groom and making him more nervous. After a bit, it would be time to sit down and watch the ceremony.

The thought made you want to eat dirt.

Tsuki put his hand on your waist and you looked up at him. The two of you were still in the middle of talking to the old volleyball boys, Hinata talking about his travels.

“He can’t take his eyes off of you.” Tsuki muttered into your hair. It wasn’t unnoticed by Daichi and Suga, who just exchanged a look (as they always seemed to be all knowing).

“Just wait until Hana gets her eyes on you.” You lean into his side. “She won’t make it down the aisle.”

He chuckled and placed a kiss on your temple, feeling the eyes of Kageyama on your back.

“The man of the hour.” Daichi spoke up.

Kageyama appeared beside you. Tsuki’s hand stayed on your waist.

“How are you feeling?” Suga asked, eyes shifting between you and him. You could swear he knew more than you could ever imagine.

“Good, good.” Kageyama plastered a fake smile on his face. “Just nervous.”

“Well that’s normal.”

“Can I borrow her for a second?” Kageyama turned to Tsukishima. You blinked. “I just have to talk to her for a second.”

“Yeah.” Tsuki let go of your waist. He sent you a look, basically telling you to fuck the shit outta him in the broom closet.

“I’ll be right back!” you sent them a smile.

Kageyama looked absolutely delicious in his suit. Black, with a little bit of blue accents throughout. It brought out his eyes. You couldn’t focus as you followed him to an empty room.

“Hey.”

“If you have something you have to say, you could’ve said it out there.”

“No I.” I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I should just leave with you right now and run away and get married and live in a forest. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Instead, “What are you doing here with Tsukishima?”

“What do you mean? He’s my date.” You shrugged.

“Yes. But why?”

“You expected me to come to your wedding by myself?” You blinked. “Or, rather, you expected Tsuki to come by his lonesome?”

“No, I…”

“That’s a bit selfish, don’t you think Kags?” You felt anger rising in your chest. “To think that I can’t have a date to a wedding when you’re literally getting married.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” You were exasperated. “It’s incredibly clear how you think of me, Kageyama. But as for someone who will never be loved by anyone, it’s nice to go to a wedding with…”

“You’re loved by me!”

It was the first time in Kageyama’s life where he truly understood what earth-shattering silence was. It was deafening and loud; too loud. He stood there motionless as the howling of his blood pumping in his head, his heartbeat inside his chest. You were silent.

His world seemed to have stopped the second he had said those words to you. The moment those words left his lips, he wished to take them back. Not because they were lies, but because it was the first time he had said them in the most honest way possible.

You shook your head.

You shook your head and Kageyama’s world shattered. He knew that he had hurt you, over and over and time and time again. But he had done it. He had hurt you to the point that you would simply shake your head at the confession of his love.

Whatever was left of whatever the hell was still there was gone.

“Kags,” You closed your eyes. “You don’t. I’m not.”

“I do.” He reached for your hand. You backed away.

“Me and Tsuki coming to your wedding together was not to get you to tell me that you love me.” You were muttering. You were babbling. You couldn’t do this. “It was to get you jealous, yes, but.. not this. Maybe rile you up. Get Hana to admit her bullshit for sure. But not… not this.”

“I…”

“You are getting married today.” You reminded him. “To Hana. You’re getting married to her. Today. And I cannot do another confession like that.”

“Who else has confessed to you?”

“Oikawa.” You said before you could think.

“Tooru Oikawa told you that he was in love with you?” Kageyama laughed as though it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. You basically heard your heart break.

“See? That right there?” You headed for the door. “That’s why you can’t possibly be in love with me. You’re so fucking convinced that I can’t be loved by anyone because I fucking moved away in high school. Jesus, Kageyama, get over it!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He was literally wiping tears from his face. “It’s just. I knew it. I fucking knew it.” He stopped when he seen your face. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Seriously fuck you.” You moved to open the door to go back to your date and get ready for the ceremony. Because this was for Tsuki, not you.

You started to walk out, but turned to him with a glance over your shoulder. “By the way, I’ve been in love with you for years. This shouldn’t be new information.”

You didn’t stay to gauge his reaction.

[quillsandtypos]

Our Stars Collided- Part 1

THIS IS THE SURPRISE IM WRITING A JATP SERIES AND IM SO EXCITED. This first one kinda sucks at first, but I swear it gets better the more you get into it.

Words: 2.1k

Summary: The reader has been wondering who the phantoms in the band are. But when she comes face to face with a phantom will she get her answers? (This does not follow all the events of the series)

Pairing: Luke x reader

Warnings: none, except bad writing

...........................................

You had lunch this period, you were one track minded in that moment, and b-lining for the cafeteria. But as you passed the lockers your half run nearly turned to a stop.

You had made eye contact with none other than the cute boy from Julie's hologram band. Except every single person in the hallway was acting like they couldn't see him. Which in their defense, they probably couldn't, you were probably going insane.

According to Julie they were holograms. But when everyone else had gasped in shock that they had suddenly disappeared, you continued to watch them. And yet no one else noticed. From that moment on you were convinced yourself that it had been a figment of your imagination. Until now, that was.

You figured it might raise suspicion if you continued staring into what everyone else believed to be nothing. So you hid behind a pole and watched.

Julie seemed to be just talking on the phone to everyone else. But you watched as she continued on her conversation with the supposed hologram. Their conversation wasn't anything interesting, it seemed to just be about what song they were playing in a few weeks; and the boy apologized for being somewhat difficult to work with. As you watched, another sophomore, named Nick approached. You peeked around the pole to see where the boy went and saw that he was staring right at you.

You flew back behind your hiding place. You felt your pulse quickening though you weren't sure if it was because you were afraid he'd seen you or for a different reason entirely.

After you'd calmed yourself down you opened your eyes, you saw the boy standing right in front of you, only a couple feet away. You clapped a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from screaming.

Wait, you can see me?" the boy asked. He sounded just as freaked out as you felt.

You nodded your head, with your hand still on your mouth.

The boy's eyes went wide for a moment. But then he looked like he was deep in thought. "Why can you see me?" he asked curiously.

Your expression went blank for a moment. How could you answer a question you didn't even know? Also did someone give you drugs, or was this actually happening?

"I have no idea, also are you even real?" You asked. You reached out to poke his shoulder, and you felt nothing. "Nope, I'm definitely imagining this," you said aloud to yourself.

You turned and started to walk away. "Wait!" the boy yelled.

"Yes, imaginary person who I have probably made up in my head?" you asked.

He talked as he walked to catch up with you. "I'm real, I'm very, very real. I'm just also dead."

You crossed your arms and faced him. "So you're a ghost?" you asked.

"Yes."

You crossed your arms. "So prove it, how do I know you're not a figment of my imagination?"

The boy paused for a moment to think. "Umm I know there's a student named Julie that goes here and she has fourth period dance class, and you probably don't know that, so how would a figment of your imagination know that?" After finishing his trail of thought the boy looked over at you with a hopeful smile.

You thought over it for a moment which was mildly difficult with that face looking at you. "Yeah, okay, that adds up I suppose." His smile turned into a slight smugness that he had convinced you.

"See, I told you I was real."

You pushed down the heat attempting to rise to your cheeks.

"But how?" you asked.

"Wellllllllll that's a little bit more of a complicated question," Luke explained, as he itched the back of his head.

Somehow, you were still getting more confused. "How is it complicated?"

"That's kinda a long story. But, I can explain some of it," he offered.

You gestured to him that the floor was his.

"Oh, not right now because I'm pretty sure I've made like at least five people think you're crazy already." He gestured around to people at their lockers who were staring at you.

"But I can tell you later, if you meet me at Julie's house, after school," he promised.

"Okay, yeah, I'm not doing anything, and I've been there before so I know where it is," you agreed.

"Cool! I never caught your name by the way," he mentioned.

"Oh it's y/n, and you are?"

"Luke, and I'll see you then!" He waved at you and in a poof he was gone.

It was definitely not a normal way to start your lunch. But you supposed that from the day that they had performed your life hadn't been normal.

Three hours later you found yourself standing in front of Julie Molina's house. You were silently hoping that this was the right house, because that would be a very interesting conversation if it wasn't. Luckily enough, Julie was the one who opened the door.

"Hi, um I'm here to see Luke?" you hesitantly asked.

"Oh yeah, he told me about you, come on I’ll show you where he is.” She closed the door and started leading you through a garden, as you tried not to read too deeply into what she had said. Eventually, you walked down a set of steps to some sort of studio. As she opened the wide white entrance doors you saw all three of the guys you had watched play with Julie a week ago.

You stood in shock for a moment. So you hadn’t been seeing things! You only came back to reality when you heard Julie say your name.

“Meet Reggie, Alex, and you already met Luke. So Reggie and Alex, meet y/n,” she introduced.

“Hello!” Reggie waved.

“Hi,” said Alex.

“Hi,” you responded.

“So now is your time to ask questions without someone thinking you are going insane,” Luke offered, as he sat down on a couch.

“Okay, so you guys are ghosts, right?”

The three all nodded their heads.

“But for some reason Julie and I can see you?” you observed.

“Yes, but we don’t actually know the reason for that. Or to a lot of things for that matter. But we think it might mean that you two are related to our pasts in some sort of way,” the one you remembered to be Alex, suggested.

“Okay, interesting. Do you know why people can see you when you play?” you inquired.

“No, I mean we think it’s because we are connected to Julie and that we are still connected with music, but other than that we have no idea,” Luke said.

You continued asking them questions for quite some time, until you couldn’t think of anything anymore. Granted, there was still a lot you didn’t know, but that was fine with you. Afterall, asking someone how they died felt a little too personal; even if they did make you think you were losing your mind for a week straight.

Eventually your conversation diverged into other matters like school, and music, and of course food.

“You play the guitar?” Luke asked in surprise.

You turned to him from a conversation you were having with Alex. “I mean, I’m not as good as you, but yes,” you admitted.

“Wait, you play guitar TOO?” Reggie asked in awe.

You had to laugh at the sudden fascination with you. “Yes, I do.”

Reggie seemed to be ecstatic. “You have to play something; here, use Luke’s guitar,” he offered.

Alex lightly slapped his arm and you watched the corner of your eye as Luke muttered something along the lines of what the hell Reggie.

“It’s okay, I don’t wanna steal someone else’s equipment, and I usually only play in my room by myself. Besides, you probably don’t wanna hear me anyways,” you pointed out.

“You don’t have to play, but that’s b.s. I’ve heard you’d play and you’re obviously talented,” Julie chimed in. You were slightly embarrassed but you accepted the compliment. Soon enough your conversation died down and it was decided that you should probably head back home as it was getting late. You waved goodbye to the boys and told Julie you would see her tomorrow.

As you ate supper, you realized that even though you had one of the most eventful days in history you could tell no one about it, including your family. Otherwise they would think you were just as insane as you thought you were. But you supposed there were worse problems to have then knowing a band that you couldn’t talk about.

As you got ready for bed you decided to bring out your acoustic guitar.

You started strumming before realizing there was a particular song you hadn’t played in a long while. It took you a couple attempts to remember the fingering for it, but once you did the music started to flow out of you.

“When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case. I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.”

You then jumped to the melody at a higher octave. You decided to go all out and sing it to your heart's content.

“I know you haven’t made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong. I’ve known it from the moment that we met. No doubt in my mind where you belong.”

You strummed a couple more chords before placing your guitar down. You turned around and came inches away from Luke’s face.

“Shit!” you yelled on instinct. You paused for a moment to make sure no one had heard you, but you didn’t hear anything.

“What are you two doing here?” you hissed.

Reggie was the first to open his mouth. “Well uh you see here, we actually have a very good reason for being here. Yep, and Luke’s going to tell you that reason.” He clapped his bandmate on the shoulder, and Luke glared at him.

“Y/n I’m really sorry, but he really wanted to hear you play. And I was super curious too, and we just couldn’t resist,” Luke apologized.

You took a look at them still wanting to be mad, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. They looked not unlike sad puppies.

You fake sighed, but you couldn’t fight the smile on your face. “I guess I can let you guys off the hook this time.”

“I swear it won’t happen again,” Reggie promised.

“Next time just knock instead of scaring the shit out of me, okay?” you asked.

“You got it, though I can’t say we won’t scare you. I mean we are ghosts,” Luke teased, with a glint in his eyes that you couldn’t figure out.

You amusedly rolled your eyes at him, “Whatever, Luke.”

The next day you couldn’t really focus on your clases. All you could think about were theories on why you could see Alex, Reggie, and Luke and why everyone else couldn’t. By the time lunch rolled around you were very thankful Julie was in the same lunch period as you.

“Hey!” she greeted you.

“What’s up?” you asked, shutting your locker.

“Just something I want to show you, follow me,” she gestured. You didn’t know where she was taking you but you just shrugged and went with it. She led you over to the next set of lockers and down a set of steps to a pretty much vacant part of the school. And once you turned the corner you heard a very loud ‘surprise!’

“Aeeehp!” you yelled in shock.

“Oh my god, you guys have got to stop doing that,” you said to the three.

“Yeah, they never do,” Julie sighed.

“But anyways, we brought you down here to tell you, drumroll please?” Julie requested.

They all started stomping their feet.

“We want you to join Julie and the Phantoms!” Alex announced.

“Wait, what?” you excitedly asked.

“Well after the little stunt that Luke and Reggie pulled, which I do not approve of by the way,” she sent a glare back at the two of them, “we had a band meeting and decided that we want you in the band, that is of course if you want to be in the band?”

You were positively beaming. “Yes of course I do! But what do you want me to do? You already have two singers and an electric guitarist.”

“Well we always have room for more singing, and I’m just lead guitar. We used to have three guitars in sunset curve, so why not in Julie and the Phantoms?” Luke questioned.

“I’m game if you guys are.”

“So you’re in?” Reggie asked.

You smiled brightly, “I’m so in.”

[pepprs]

i normally don’t post abt my life in like… THIS much detail but today was so fucking insane i feel compelled to document and share it so here we go:

finished my stupid history rough draft at like 1:30am

woke up ridiculously early to get a covid test after saying up an additional 2 hrs basically bc i am stupid.

spent 2 hrs doing working on my presentation and actually finishing it at the expense of one hour of my shift????

got a new chair. and also my ******** bars finally 🥰

ran into my dad and my brother on my way to the office, walked w my brother (🥺) and introduced him to my supervisor (🥺)

ate FOUR rolled taqitos my supervisor offered me bc he accidentally bought an extra pack forgetting abt the break and my stomach was growling obnoxiously loud LMAO. i love one (1) man

passed like 2 ppl i used to be close with on my way to class???? one of my best friends from childhood and one of my hs friends a few grades younger than me. why is everyone important in my life connected to this school in some way it’s absolutely insane

pep talked my brother before his date-that-was-not-a-date-but-was-kinda-a-date (which i encouraged him to make happen lol) over text while having my first actual in depth conversation w the guy who sits next to me in theater class 😳 he is very nice i am thinking just a teeny tiny bit

did my presentation but i was soooo nervous and my voice was wobbling uncontrollably and i was shaking so bad and everyone could see and they kept interrupting me to say encouraging things and to tell me to take deep breaths… embarrassing. i kinda bombed but it’s whatever

scrambled out of class to pick up two vegan brownies my Prof brought me bc his daughter never ended up making me cookies, then scrambled back to the classroom bc i lost a glove (still haven’t found it lol whppps), then scrambled back to the apartment. all of these are extremely far away from each other and i am very small and have a heavy backpack and i literally unironically thought i was about to have a heart attack like i almost fainted and my heart actually hurt. horrible

ate a vegan brownie. aka THE best thing i have ever consumed in my entire fucki ng life.

scrambled to clean my disgustingly messy room and pack everything while having an actual conversation w one of my roommates 😳

came to terms with the fact that i wasn’t gonna be able to finish cleaning and packing in time for my dad to get me and my brother so i texted my family and we determined im coming home tmrrw instead LMAO

got negative covid pcr results

realized that i accidentally had my mask off around my roommate while we were talking, told my mom and she got pissed at me

meanwhile i headed to the main part of campus to hang out w my brother after his date and he told me all abt it and it was so 🥺😭🥰🥺😭🥰🥺😭🥰🥺😭🥰like i genuinely think today is the first time we’ve ever hung out outside of the context of home and i love him so fucking much he is like the most important person ever in the world to me actually

got yelled at by my mom who decided i need to get pcr tested AGAIN tmrrw morning bc i had my mask off around my roommate for maybe all of 3 minutes. so i had to call the covid testing site two times to make sure they can do it even tho it’s thanksgiving and now i have made my parents mad at me and burdened by me once again LOL

hung out in the office and had a deep convo w my supervisor while silently processing the fact that i made my parents mad at me and burdened by me once again. (also i gave him my 2nd brownie as a thank you for the rolled taquitos and also for being him in general bc… 🥺)

discovered during this conversation that all of the campus eateries are closed for thanksgiving break so i missed my chance to get bagels and sushi and i won’t be able to get them again tomorrow when im here all day unexpectedly. FUCK!

vividly intensely relived the moment i left the office for br*ghton and said goodbye to all my [redacted university name] People as my supervisor and i were leaving the office and saying goodbye to each other. lawl

cried abt it while walking back to my apartment

cried abt it to my counselor. the first time i have EVER cried during a therapy session!!!! and the first time ive seen her in like 3 weeks lol. it was such a good session and i felt so much better after and she was proud of me for crying. and we talked abt my future sp*use and k*ds 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🤩🤯🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

got my favorite meal from my favorite local restaurant that i haven’t been to since before i went to br*ghton delivered to me thru gr*bhub (!!!!) which involved basically walking halfway across campus alone in the dark bc the driver had no idea where to meet me but it was ok and he was rly nice 🥺

ate said food (called the giving thanks bowl 😭😭😭😭😭) while listening to marigold by pinegrove (THE quintessential br*ghton album) to comfort myself abt how thanksgiving break is only 5 days and im not actually leaving for good lawllll

called my BELOVED bestie brandon gigagasp for the first time since i moved ere and got to hang out w him and his new cat and see art from him and his students 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 but i got very sleepy and had to hang up earlier than expected but next time we hang out we are going to get food from said favorite restaurant i SWEAR IT

now im lying in bed unusually early waiting to fall asleep but i can’t bc im hungry and i basically have no food here (bc i thought it would be stupid to order groceries for only 2 days but i would’ve if id known id be here for 3) whi bc h means i have to Grubhub stuff and i am gonna try to order more brownies from the restaurant my prof bought them from but idk if i can bc of thanksgiving…. i need to grubhub something i think like i literaly am out of t everything😭😭😭😭😭 oh the grubs you can hub. but i probably should just like make pasta and eatmy ******** bars but wfpbsosfree (🥴) food has no flavor to me anymore bc i am a rebel so i don’t want to lawllll

[angstysebfan]

PR Stunt Gone Wrong - Chapter 26

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: You are a fellow actress in the MCU, Bucky’s love interest. You met Seb during the CA: WS and you guys hit it off. Chemistry on and off the set, but never dated until after Infinity War. During filming of FATWS, the pandemic caused everything to shut down. Seb offered you to spend quarantine with him, but somewhere along the lines, things go wrong and Seb makes a PR decision.

A/N: I was going to to this in a Bucky story, but then I decided to keep it Seb. With everything going on with Seb over the last several months, I came up with this story in my head. Obviously a lot of this is made up, but it is using what we know Seb has been doing over the last several months.

The next morning you wake up to your cell phone ringing. You look at the Caller ID and see your manager’s name. You roll your eyes and ignore the call, but after a few seconds she calls again. “Hello?” you answer, making sure you sound annoyed. “I have been trying to reach you for weeks, where have you been?” your manager asks. “Busy,” was all you replied. 

“What is this that you and Sebastian went out for a lunch date yesterday? I thought you were done with him,” she says. “What the hell are you talking about? I had an appointment, and he asked if we could talk. We went to lunch and then went out separate ways,” you say. “Well the pictures that have just been posted online tell a whole different story,” she says.

You quickly got out your laptop and looked and sure enough there are pictures of you and Seb sitting at your table for lunch, shy smiles at each other, another of you two walking down the street, and another of you hugging. “What the hell? Whatever Seb and I know it’s not real,” you say, “Why do you care?” you ask, hoping to get the truth from her.

“I... I was just concerned,” she says. You roll your eyes, “Ok, well it doesn’t matter, since he is with her,” you say while quickly shooting a text to Seb. “Y/N, you have no idea of the ramifications this could have,” your manager says. Your eyebrows shoot up, “Oh? I actually think I might,” you say. There is silence, “What do you mean?” she asks. “Let’s just say I know more then people think, but not enough to mean anything. But I have to go and call Chase to make sure he knows what is going on, bye,” you say before hanging up. You hope that you opening your mouth doesn’t hurt the case.

Seb calls you and you quickly pick up, “Seb, I was so stupid, I might have let it slip to my manager that I have an idea of how bad this could get,” you say. “Damn, ok. I’ll my lawyer and see what he says. I hope this doesn’t ruin anything,” he says. “I know I was just so upset that it slipped out,” you say apologetically. “It’s ok Y/N. I understand, but Ale is fuming about the pictures,” he says.

“Who the fuck cares! She is a bitch who put you into this situation,” you say. He sighs, “I know, but this is going to make it difficult to go out to the lawyers without her. I can’t have her find out what’s going on, it will ruin everything,” he says. “Um.. what if I put out a statement, saying we were burying the hatchet between us, and I was giving my blessing to your relationship,” you say.

“Y/N, fans already hate me, do you really want them to come after you? I don’t,” he says. “I wont let you sacrifice yourself for me,” he adds. “So what do we do?” you ask as you hear a beep indicating its your call waiting. You look and see Chase’s name, “Seb I’ll call you back,” you say before hanging up and answering Chase’s call.

“Hey Chase, I was just about to call you,” you say. “So when you said you needed space to think and decide, was that just from me?” he asks. You sigh defeated, “Chase I swear I... We went to the lawyers and he asked me to have lunch to talk. That was it. I wanted to get it over with so that I could just be alone with think,” you say. There is silence on the other end.

“Chase, I swear, it didn’t mean anything. All we did was talk about the case. I am currently packed up to go down to my shore house and think,” you say. “Y/N, who are we kidding here? We both know he is the one you want,” Chase says. “Chase, I meant it when I said that I had feelings for you. I... I don’t know if I am going to be with Seb. I don’t know if I can trust him with my heart again,” you say.

“He loves you. He tells me all the time, and not to rub it in my face. He honestly loves you, and he regrets everything that happened. I can’t stand in the way of my friends happiness,” he says. “Chase...” you say as tears come to your eyes. “Y/N, I care about you, you know I do. And it’s because I care about you, that I am taking myself out of the equation,” he says. 

“Who says I want you out of the equation? Why don’t I ever get a say in anything?! Seb makes decisions for me and breaks my heart, and now you are making a decision for me, and again breaking my heart. Why can’t I make my own decisions just once,” you say crying. “I don’t want to break your heart, I am just protecting all of us,” he says.

“Well, fine job you’re doing, because my heart is once again broken. Goodbye Chase,” you say before hanging up. You cover your face and just cry in a mix of frustration and sadness. You knew what Chase was doing, but you were considering being with him. Now you don’t know what to do. You finish packing and get dressed before heading out. Separation from the world is exactly what you need.

--

You sit at the top of the beach and the cool breeze blows your hair everywhere. Tucker is running every which way, enjoying his time playing in the sand. When you left your apartment, you went to your mom’s and picked up Tucker and came down to your beach house on the Jersey Shore. You turned off your cell phone and have kept your computer closed. You needed time. Time to think. Time to heal. Time to come to terms with where your life is.

You sit there and think of how different everything was compared to how you thought it would be. And the one thing that made you the angriest, was that all these terrible things were a result of other people deciding what was right for you. Deciding to protect you from harm, instead of letting you be involved and working together.

While you knew why Sebastian did what he did, you still don’t know if you will ever be able to fully forgive him and trust him. He broke your heart into a mission pieces, and you have had a hell of a time gluing it back together. You know he is unhappy, and that he doesn’t want to be in this situation, but because he tried to protect you, he broke you. It just shows good intentions are not always good.

Then there is Chase. The man who has been by your side and actually helped you get your life together. He was there through your own personal hell, making sure you knew you were not alone. You were stupid to allow the relationship to go as far as it did, because once again, to “protect” you, he broke your heart. Both men that you gave your heart to, broke your heart. Maybe you are meant to be alone. 

--

Seb paces in his office trying again and again to reach you. You were supposed to call him back, and you never did. He spoke with Chase and found out what happened, and knows you are hiding somewhere. He has so many things he needs to tell you. 

He spoke to his lawyer about the pap pictures. Turns out Ale had him followed by paps, knowing he was hiding something. He kicked her out of his apartment and told CAA that he was done. They started threatening your career, but he refuses to allow them to hurt him or you. His lawyer told him that the case is going to trial, and that he has every reason to believe they will win. Thankfully because you have given sworn statements, neither you nor him have to go to court, unless something comes up.

Seb keeps pacing, thinking about where you could be. He went to your apartment, but you aren’t there. He called your mom, but she didn’t want to talk to him, not that he blames her. Where could you have gone? Are you in the city? Are you safe? He keeps pacing until it finally hits him. He knows where you are. He quickly throws clothes in a bag and runs out of the apartment, calling for an Uber. 

It takes almost 2 hours to finally reach his destination. He runs up to the house and knocks, but there is no answer. He runs around to the backyard, but no sign of you. He sits there thinking he got it wrong, when an idea hits him. He throws his bag on the porch and runs the block to the beach. As he comes to the small board walk he sees you sitting on the dune at the top of the beach. He walks down the boardwalk until he comes upon you.

You see something in your peripheral vision and turn to see Sebastian standing there. “Sebastian? What are you doing here?” you ask. He stands there panting, “I... I needed to make sure you were ok. I was worried,” he says.

You look at him and give him a small smile. You pat the sand next to you and he sits. You both look out over the beach and the ocean. You try and calm your pounding heart as you look over the horizon. He came for you. He came... for you.

--

Chapter 25 / Chapter 27

This does not mean they are getting back together so don’t hate on me. But we are almost to the end folks. This is not the end of Chase either. A decision will be made. Feedback is appreciated.

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