#goodbye saskia
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USERNAME CHANGE
I’ve decided to chamfe my user from
”horrorxweasley” to ”bloodxbat”
I just wasnt vibing with horrorxweasley anymore, that era of tumblr is over, i’m not really a fan of harry potter anymore no matter how hard i try i just dont feel part of that fandom anymore.
Hope you’ll all still be able to recognise me as me!!
tagging some moots to spread the word 🫶 goodbye horrorxweasley hello 🩸🦇
@writing-wh0re @dracofknmalfoy @wizardwheezes @skarlettmikaelson @fancy-pantaloons @griffxnnage
#saskia talks#bloodxbat#new user#horrorxweasley#goodbye#horror#bats#bat#new user new me#im still here#just a change#mutuals#moots <3
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never forgiving bioware for making the main tone of the convo with morrigan in witch hunt so confrontational :(
#cari hugs her and gives her a real goodbye my headcanon is stronger than ur gäme#saskia plays da#anyway i'll start da2 tomorrow im so excited!!!!!!!! anders. anders. anders baby. anders-#cari amell#ocs tag
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
PART IV
Hyunjin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (13,8k words)
Author's note: Enjoy the last, LAST chapter of THTH8 and the final season of THTH. 🥲
"The person leaving the retreat is Hyunjin."
The first thing Hyunjin does is check for you, he cares for your feelings more than his own. He's crushed hearing his name being called out but he can't imagine how it feels for you.
The whole you both standing next to each other, you've been putting a brave face on yet you break into tears the moment he pulls you into his hug.
"You have continued to put your physical urges before emotional connections," Lana says.
He's hugging you so tight because it will be the last time for him to do so until you both meet again, perhaps, outside of the retreat.
"It's okay. I'll be outside there, waiting for you," he assures you, rubbing your back and kissing the top of your head.
"Trust me," he convinces you with a tender caress on your cheek.
He has to let go of you to bid farewell to everyone else, his heart is getting heavier for every moment he shares with these people rushes through his head as he gives them a goodbye hug. In the end, he doesn't even remember the bad, he only remembers the good ones.
"Hyunjin, please leave the retreat," Lana says.
He walks back to you for the last goodbye, he wipes the tears rolling down both of your cheeks while putting on a smile for you even though his heart is breaking for not being able to be with you to the end of the retreat.
He kisses your forehead and fondly holds you by the jaw, "I'll see you soon, okay baby?"
You nod with your eyes red and pooling with tears, not able to say anything back to him without breaking into tears again.
"I'll see you soon," he says again with another kiss on your cheek.
He takes a few steps away and then turns around to look at everyone for the last time, like it or not, he finds friends in them and thanks them in his heart for the memories he'll cherish for life.
Especially you, thank you to the lovely and the achingly beautiful you.
With a bittersweet smile, Hyunjin turns around and then leaves.
-
HYUNJIN: I feel like I've already won with her but at the same time, I've got to go, [heavily sighs] leave this retreat without her.
-
With your eyes blurry with tears and your knees trembling, you wouldn't make it to the bedroom without Edie's help. "Come lay down," she says, guiding you to your bed and helping you get onto it.
She then sits on the edge of the bed, puts a pillow on her lap, and lets you rest your head on it.
"Oh, my God. I can't believe this," someone else says with a shaky voice and you can tell that it's Vic.
There are so many hands rubbing your back as you keep crying, sobbing into the pillow.
To say that your heart aches from Hyunjin's departure would be an understatement. It feels like someone has stabbed you right in the heart and twisted the knife over and over again.
"Hyunjin's gone," you croak in between your cries, saying those words only makes it unbearably painful.
You roughly wipe your eyes open and can finally see the girls gathering around you, offering their presence and their comfort to you.
"And I can't do anything about it," you croak then drop your head onto the pillow and sob again.
Edie comforts you by softly patting your head and putting away the hair stuck to your wet cheeks.
"Oh, God..." you breathlessly sigh while clutching your chest, "I'm going to miss so much."
"I know," Edie says, wiping the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes.
Vic finds your hand and squeezes it so tight, she knows she can't help you with anything but being here for you.
"It's going to be okay," a voice says behind you and you look over your shoulder to see Saskia there, landing tender caresses on your back.
How is it going to be okay when your heart breaks into smithereens and Hyunjin takes the pieces away with him? How is it going to be okay when you feel like you're losing a part of yourself? Are you going to be okay at all?
-
YOU: Obviously, I thought I would have more time with him [sniffles]
-
In the morning, your heart breaks all over again.
Waking up alone on your bed not only reminds you of your heartbreak but also reminds you that it's real, he really is gone and yesterday was not a dream.
The pain is there, telling you that it's all real.
You drag yourself up and sit with your back against the headboard, and have a sip of water as if it would lessen the stinging pain in your chest.
Noticing that your eyes are blank and looking sad, Edie jumps onto your bed, snuggling up to you and putting her long arm across your chest.
"I'm so happy that you stayed," she mumbles.
Her words warm your heart, and you respond with a caress on her forearm and a smile.
The bed creaks as someone else joins the two of you, also cuddling you from the other side of the bed.
"All of us are happy that you stayed," Saskia says, correcting Edie's earlier remark.
"We'll have the most amazing time," she mutters to you.
It already feels weird waking up without Hyunjin but that doesn't mean you're closed yourself off from having fun.
"Okay?" Edie asks, her big eyes looking right into you.
And it's not fair for other people to have to deal with your somber mood which indirectly affects them too.
"Okay," you answer with a nod and a smile.
It's sweet that they're making sure that you don't feel alone or left out in the retreat. Your partner may have gone but you've been given a chance to continue your journey and time to progress.
"Thank you," you mutter to both of them with a grateful smile.
Edie nuzzles her head further into the crook of your neck, "I love you," she cutely mumbles.
After all, you're not alone on this journey of self-discovery, you have these people you're sharing the journey with.
-
YOU: I'm thankful that these girls are so supportive. I think everyone here has been very kind and wonderful, I'm lucky.
-
It does feel weird being here without Hyunjin.
He'd always find you when he has nothing to do and vice versa, and when you're not together, you would find him in just a turn of your head, not far from your sight. You feel each other's presence whenever one of you enters the room.
The connection you have with him is one-of-a-kind, one that you haven't had with someone in a long time.
If he were still here, you wouldn't be alone for the upcoming workshop this afternoon. It has a nice setting with the sunset in the background and every couple has a table for themselves, you end up third-wheeling Remy and Saskia.
There's a cooking station set in front of everyone and not long after, someone enters while waving her hands high at everyone.
"Hello, my loves," she cheerfully greets everyone.
Everyone welcomes her with a round of applause and some cheers. She looks vibrant in her colorful outfit and pink bandana, a smile never wears off her face as she stands in front of everyone for her introduction.
"My name is Rita and I'm a chef," she announces.
"I'm here to teach you how to heat things up," she pauses as his eyebrow raises in intrigue, "and cook."
Rita looks like someone who gets along with everyone just fine, she has that happy-go-lucky vibe going and an infectious smile.
"But I know all of you are more interested in the heating things up part," she says, having some wits in her too.
-
YOU: I like Rita. She's such a sweet person. She brought a wonderful energy.
-
The previous workshops were about touching, sexual energy, emotional connection, and now, cooking which is great that you get to experience something different, completely new but not less helpful and educative.
"I think when you cook for someone, it's a sign that they're nurturing their love for them. Nobody cooks for people they don't like, right?" Rita says as she walks around to see everyone face to face.
"Well, unless you plan to poison them," she jokingly adds.
You're not great at cooking but if you have to rate your skill, you can safely say it's average, below average even so it's nice that you have the chance to improve that skill.
"I also think it's important to know that when we cook, we also add our energy, our passion, our love to it."
You find yourself nodding and agreeing to her words, because everything comes back to the intention of why you do something in the first place, if you do it out of love, that person will feel it.
"Seducing through food is a great ace to have up to your sleeve," Rita says with a sly smile, making everyone giggle in response.
She walks back to her cooking station and gets behind it, she puts her hands on the shiny surface to continue talking.
"Me personally, I would fall in love with someone who says something like 'I'm cooking for you today," she says.
Rita starts by taking bowls of ingredients she has prepared and puts them on top of the station. She then scans everyone and her eyes stop at Vic and Edouard's table.
"Come here, you, love!" She points at Edouard.
Edouard looks around thinking that she's talking to someone else and awkwardly gets up from his seat once Vic assures that it's him who got called to the front. He gets picked to cook the appetizer with Rita.
"I will teach you to cook for her," Rita tells him, "Something delicious like you."
She's making Edouard stirring the ingredients she puts inside the big salad bowl all the while explaining the process to everyone.
"We need something crunchy," she says, walking to the back to get something.
She then returns with a bowl of peanuts and puts some into the salad bowl, "You know what? Peanuts make you horny."
Edouard chuckles as he carefully tosses the salad, "We can't get horny here," he says.
"Oops! More peanuts then," Rita cheekily adds more peanuts into the bowl.
Once they finish, they plate it together and have Edouard deliver it to everyone's tables. It tastes sweet and sour, so refreshing, and what you love the most is the whole texture of it. Rita is definitely making it easy for everyone because even if you followed the recipe and everything, there's no guarantee that it'll taste this good.
For the main course, you get the honor to cook it with Rita. You're more than glad to make yourself useful and put your mind off things, and also to let Remy and Saskia have the table for themselves.
The first thing you do as you get behind the cooking station is check the ingredients and try to guess what Rita is going to cook with them.
"Why are you by yourself?" She asks you.
You politely chuckle and answer, "Lana sent my man home."
"Why?" She curiously asks.
"We spent too much money," you shyly reveal.
"How much?"
You never really calculated how much money you've spent until she asks you, "About 70 grand?" You give her a rough calculation.
Rita lets out a gasp and her eyes widen in surprise like a cartoon character, "Girl, what did you do?" She asks with a gentle shove at your shoulder.
"Spicy stuff, mostly," you playfully respond.
She takes your hands and holds them as she looks at you, "You look like a good girl but you're pretty naughty, huh?"
You nod, admitting her words with a shy laugh.
Rita is a great teacher, she gets you through each step with so much patience and you try your best to keep up with her as she tosses ingredients as she pleases. She checks the food once in a while to make sure it's well-seasoned and thoroughly cooked.
"What's the key ingredient in all food?" She asks you out of the blue.
You have to stop stirring the sauce on the pan to think of an answer, you're torn between a philosophical answer and a forthright answer.
"Love?" You settle on the former.
Rita's smile wavers a little, "I was thinking salt but yeah, okay, that too," she jokes.
You continue with the cooking while everyone else laughing at your answer but you don't feel offended at all, if anything, it feels good to make them laugh.
"Love means salt in food," Rita says as she adds a pinch into the saucepan.
You finish your task by delivering plates of food to everyone while Andy and Remy deliver cocktails they made together.
Once you're done, you come back to your seat at the table and have a bite of the food you cooked. It tastes better than you imagined, it's even better because you cooked it, and somewhat rewarding.
-
YOU: I think we can apply a lot of what we've got in this workshop to our lives. I really believe that when you cook for your partner, they can feel what you're trying to express to them.
-
Since Edie is a vegan, Rita calls her to the front to cook her meal together while everyone is busy having their main course.
"I know you're vegan so I'm making something special for you," she says to her.
"Thank you," Edie sweetly mutters.
"Everyone deserves to eat. How could I leave you out?" Rita kindly says.
Frida is handed the task of preparing the desserts for everyone and gets to decorate the plates together with Rita. As for you, you just can't wait to have a taste of it because it looks so appetizing.
When the dessert finally gets to you, it's so beautifully plated that you don't want to ruin it, but at the same time, you can't wait to dig into it.
"Can I save some for later?" Saskia asks Rita who's watching everyone eating her food well.
You take a moment to look at everyone to see how everyone is truly enjoying their food and you believe it's because Rita cooked it with her positive energy, passion, and love as she said.
This one made it to one of the most memorable moments in the retreat.
Seeing that everyone is close to finishing their desserts, Rita gets to the front of the station and clasps her hands together in front of her.
"I'm here to talk to you about love and one of the most sublime lessons I've learned in life is to spread all the love I have inside," she says with a smile.
She looks at everyone from left to right and continues talking, "Some people paint, some people dance, some people sing, well, I... I cook. I found myself like this, and I think finding ourselves is a good part of life," she says.
Everything she said is so heartwarming that you find yourself smiling listening to her talking which is exactly what you need after a torturous day you've had yesterday.
"This is the only one of many beautiful moments you'll have from now on, whether it's around the kitchen, on the dining table, or lying on a bed," she says with a grin.
Rita takes a breath before continuing, "After all, the best thing in life is to love and be loved."
Everyone is applauding in agreement to her words and simply in gratitude for the food, and this valuable workshop she shared with everyone.
"See you, lovely people," she concludes the workshop with a hand kiss at everyone and her infectious smile of hers.
-
YOU: Food definitely brings people together. Everyone was laughing, everyone was interacting. They're enjoying the food and the company they're with.
-
The villa is empty since the couples are being sent on dates. Remy and Saskia left this afternoon, then Vic and Edouard left not long after them while Diego and Frida will leave later.
The rest of us are hanging out in the swimming pools and enjoying most of the retreat since it's getting close to its end.
"How are you feeling?" Andy asks, brushing his wet, blond hair to the back.
"Well, it comes and goes, you know," You turn over to lay on your back and stack your hands under your chin.
It's hard not to miss Hyunjin when you used to spend most of your days with him in every part of this villa. The pain comes whenever something reminds you of him and it goes when you remember his promise that he'll be outside waiting for you.
That's how your day goes with pain that comes and goes like the waves.
While waiting for everyone else to come back from their dates, you're getting ready for a party Lana is throwing tonight, probably the last one in the villa.
You're about to do your hair when you see Vic and Edouard coming into the room, holding hands and smiling ear to ear.
"Oh, my God!" Edie squeals in reaction to their return.
You put down your hairdryer and look at them, "How was your date, guys?"
Emilie abruptly stops curling her hair and joins in to grill the couple with questions, "Tell us everything!"
"We went on a boat, we had fun cocktails and talked," Edouard answers.
"It was romantic with the sunset in the back," Vic adds another detail.
Edouard glances at Vic before continue talking and licks his lips, "It seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask her something," he says.
Edie is flapping her hands in excitement, kind of guessing where the talk leads to.
"What did you ask?" Andy asks with his shirt hanging loosely on his shoulders.
"I asked her to be my girlfriend," Edouard answers with a big smile.
The girls are cooing in unison but you quickly hush them since the story isn't finished yet.
"And what did you say, Vic?"
Vic can't contain her happiness, she breaks into a wave of giggles and nods, "I said yes."
Cheers erupt in the room and everyone comes to the couple to congratulate them on their relationship.
"I've fallen for him so badly," Vic shyly admits.
Edouard is gushing hearing her sudden confession and pulls her close to his side. He then remembers something that he hasn't shared with everyone, "We also got a green light!"
As someone who has seen them from day one, you must admit that they've come a long way and you couldn't be happier for them. At the same time, it's hard to not get jealous of them, and even harder not to think of Hyunjin in a time like this.
-
YOU: I'm very happy for them but obviously, the only thing on my mind is Hyunjin. I just miss him so much [sighs]
-
Andy leads the toast to start the party, making everyone raise their glasses in the air, and shouts Lana's name out loud at the count of three.
"Here's for Lana!"
"Lana!" Everyone shouts and collectively takes a sip of wine.
You allow yourself to soak in this moment for you couldn't get it anywhere else, and these people you thought were strangers at first, now become your friends that you'll cherish for a long time.
It would be a lot more meaningful if you get to finish it with Hyunjin but alas, you're proud of yourself nonetheless to be able to get to the endpoint. You decide to sit the rest of the party and watch everyone dancing to the blaring music while quietly sipping your drink.
Frida joins you and leans in to ask you against the loud music playing, "How are you doing, my darling?"
You swallow your drink first to answer her, "I'm having a good time with everyone but I can't lie, I miss him."
Frida smiles and nods, "I can see that."
Everyone knows you're not good at hiding your feelings so it comes as no surprise that she can see it, "But it's normal, right? If anything it shows that my feelings for him are deep and real."
"Of course!" She shortly replies.
"I think about him and the memories we could've had. He's not only my partner, but he's also my best friend like... I don't even think about the physical stuff anymore. I genuinely miss him," you openly share with her.
You miss his cute morning greeting, you miss having conversations with him, you miss listening to his random ideas and you simply miss being around him. You miss him with your whole heart.
Someone lets out a scream and you almost jump on your seat, Frida is as startled too. Then everyone looks in the direction of the stairs that leads down to the beach and you turn your head to see someone appears.
"Who is that?" Edie asks in a panic.
No one can see who it is with the mysterious person wearing a hooded black cape and looking down to hide his face. The figure keeps walking and stops in front of everyone, slowly revealing himself by pulling his hood down.
"Oh my goodness!" You let out a loud gasp in reaction to his return.
It's really him, it's Hyunjin and he's coming back.
-
YOU: This is one of the happiest moments in my entire life. And he just looks so good in all black.
-
Hyunjin is ecstatic to see everyone's reaction to his return, especially you. You light up the second he reveals that it's him and you come running to him, throwing your arms around him to welcome him with a tight, warm hug.
He lifts you off the ground and holds you just as tight, feeling his heart getting less heavier the longer he holds you.
Realizing that there are other people, he slowly puts you down to give everyone else a hug as well.
"I can't believe it!" Edie exclaims, jumping on her feet while hugging you from the side.
Andy is still in disbelief as well, he roughly brushes his hair to the back and asks, "Are you staying, bro?"
"Yeah. Tell us what is going on?" Frida hesitantly asks.
Hyunjin uses the opportunity to explain what happened to him after he got sent home by Lana that day.
"As I got kicked out of the retreat, Lana decided to give me a second chance," he says.
"I went through a one-on-one workshop. It was intense but I learned so much about myself and it'll help me moving forward," he pauses in the middle to look at you, "especially with you."
You brightly smile as he points at you and you come to his side, hugging him with eyes that flicker as you look at him.
"Which is why I'm here," he says to everyone.
-
HYUNJIN: I'm back, baby! [Grins]
-
Hyunjin is glad to be back here.
He has had to work on himself, he changed his outlook on things but the biggest thing he's taking from the entire experience is that he has a genuine connection with you.
You take him by the hand to the bedroom to have some privacy so you can comfortably catch up with each other.
"You're back," you happily exclaim as you enter the bedroom.
You turn around on your feet and look at him, "Can't believe you're back," you say again.
He takes your other hand and pulls you into a hug, "I'm here baby," he assures you that his presence is real and not just your imagination.
"I missed you," you mutter with a long sigh, a sigh that lets out all of your worries and restlessness.
"Missed you too, baby," he mutters back. In fact, he never missed someone this much in his entire life.
You both stay like that for a moment until he takes you to sit on your shared bed. He endearingly brushes your hair to the side and holds the side of your face.
"How are you?" He softly asks.
"I felt like grieving a death these past couple of days," you answer with a sad pout, "what about you? You need to fill me in about everything."
"That day... So many emotions going through me. Confusion, anger, there was so much that I can't even explain it to you," he replies, letting out a sigh that describes how overwhelmed he was that day when Lana sent him home.
"Let me tell you when I was away, I missed everyone," he says, lacing his hand together with you on his lap, "but you were on my mind 24/7."
There wasn't a moment where Hyunjin didn't think of you, it was what kept him going and eventually earned his way back here.
A smile rises on your face and oh, how he missed it, that smile cures all of his sorrow away and replaces it with something that wraps his heart warmly.
"I'm so happy you're here," you say to him with a blissful smile that shows him how much you meant those words.
You crash yourself at him, burying your face in his chest as he hugs you close while putting soft kisses on the top of your head.
You look up at him and smile with your eyes closed, "It still feels like a dream to me."
The melodic chime shatters the tender moment and Hyunjin immediately breaks the hug to face the cone.
"What's up, Lana?" He asks the cone. He glances at you and you give him a puzzled look in return.
"Hyunjin, through your one-on-one workshop, you were able to access your true feelings about your partner, proving to me that your connection is more than skin deep," Lana says.
Hyunjin nods and keeps holding your hand on his lap as he intently listens to what Lana is saying.
"However, actions speak louder than words. Which is why you will both be put to the ultimate test."
Of course, the thought of being put into another test makes him nervous because the last time he had it, he lost everything. This time he's sure will be different, he has learned to control his urges and is more prepared now.
"A night alone in the suite."
However, a test is a test and it's not going to be easy.
"While I was absent, the total sum of your rule breaks was $90,000," Lana informs, "If you refrain from breaking the rules tonight, you will win back all the money for the group."
Finding out how much his reckless act costs him that night at the suite, he realizes how selfish and how big of a mess he made for the group. Now, he's given the chance for redemption and he has to take it.
He looks at you and says, "Time to repay our debt."
"I have gathered the rest of the group at the cabana. You must now tell them of your challenge," Lana orders.
He takes a deep breath and answers her, "Challenge accepted, Lana!"
-
HYUNJIN: It's going to be the hardest test for me but will all the stuff I've gone through in the workshops, I'll show how much I've improved myself.
-
As Lana said, everyone has gathered in the cabana and waiting for both of you. It feels so awkward standing facing everyone, it's like he's trying to admit a crime he hasn't even committed yet
"We have news for you guys," you start the talk.
Hyunjin takes his turn to continue while steadily holding your hand, "Basically, Lana told us that we've got a night at the suite," he announces.
He can see that they don't take the news well because the last time you and he were in that suite, all hell broke loose so why the final test has to be held there he guesses is what everyone reckons.
"This is the final test," he says, emphasizing the importance of it, "If we pass this Lana will give back $90,000 to the prize fund."
Everyone is cheering at the mention of how much money will be gained from it but the key to success here lies in whether you both pass the test or not.
"Lord, help us all..." Diego sighs loud enough for him to hear it.
He understands that some people are still skeptical about him if the workshops really worked on helping him with his physical urges. But that's the motivation he needs, it encourages him to prove them wrong.
"The only way to make you guys proud is to pay you guys back," he says.
"That's right," Remy says, nodding along to his words.
You look at him before looking back to everyone, "Wish us the best of luck?"
No one says anything and it's getting awkward with each passing second goes in silence.
"Well, we've got nothing left now so please, do us proud," Andy says, representing everyone as he said it.
You look at each other at the same time that you both crack into laughter, he takes your hand and waves bye at everyone to leave for the private suite.
"Oh, yay! We get to go to suite again," you lowly exclaim and giggle.
-
HYUNJIN: It'd be nice to pay the debt to everyone but when I'm with her, the tension goes... [whistles] through the roof.
-
It feels like a dream still that Hyunjin is here.
The second you enter the private suite, you turn around and hug him again, feeling the warmth of his body against yours and drinking in his natural scent that you didn't know you missed so much.
"Missed you so much," you tell him again and again because telling him once is not enough and even though you're with him, you're missing him still.
He hugs you back and kisses you on the neck, without warning, hoisting your body to take you to bed.
The suite is decorated similarly to the first time you got here, the room is dim and lit candles lined up on one side of the wall, rose petals on the bed, a bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket of ice, the sex toys and condoms are present and ready to use.
You don't need any more pointers to sex, the room itself reminds you of what you did the last time you were here. Not going to lie, you get butterflies from the flashbacks.
Hyunjin swiftly pops open the wine and fills the flutes with bubbling wine.
"Do you remember what we did the last we were here?" You playfully ask him.
He licks his lips after sipping his wine, making them wetter and redder like a ripe cherry.
"When I told you you were on my mind 24/7, our time in the suite is included," he shamelessly admits.
"Which one?" You ask with a sly smile.
"The second time," he shortly replies.
It's impossible not to think about it when you had sex in this very room, on this very bed and the person you did it with is with you. You can see that he's thinking of the same thing too and despite everything, it was special for both of you.
"It means that it's our third time in suite," you remark, hooking your fingers on the belt loop on his jeans.
He leans in and puts your hair to the side so he can place a gentle kiss on your jaw. With his mouth only an inch away from your ear, he asks, "And you know what they say?"
"What?" You lowly ask back.
"Third time is a charm," he replies with a smirk and another kiss on your cheek, a little too close to the corner of your mouth.
You refrain from sexual stuff just fine when you're alone but when you're with him, all of your senses and everything you learned in this retreat are out of the window. He has that much influence on you and that's what makes him dangerous.
"Should we make a toast?" You suggest, raising your glass to the middle.
"Sure."
You clink your glasses together and say, "The third time is a charm."
"Third time is a charm," Hyunjin repeats the words while devilishly smiling at you and his teeth faintly biting his lower lips.
-
YOU: We did it once but I'm afraid, it'd only make us crave it more [bites lips]
-
You stand facing the sink and carefully take off your earrings, then your necklaces next, unclasping them one by one while Hyunjin checks the bathwater.
He then walks up to you, noticing that you probably need his help, "Need help?"
"Help me with the dress, please?" You sweetly ask as you place all of your pieces of jewelry into the soap holder.
"Okay," he obeys, putting all of your hair to the side before slowly unzipping your dress. He parts it open, exposing your back to the cool night air.
"Want me to take it off of you too?" He offers with his knuckles lightly caressing your back.
"Yeah, sure," you answer.
Hyunjin looks at you through the mirror as he pulls the straps of your dress down your arms and instead of keep pulling it down, he pulls it over your head and you raise your arms to the air to make it easier for him.
You can hear his low sigh as he takes a look at the reflection of your naked body in the mirror and he doesn't hesitate to slip his arms under and around you.
"My baby is so beautiful," he murmurs with his plush lips on your shoulder and drags them to your neck.
It feels a lot more arousing as he's holding your naked body while still fully dressed, you can feel his rough clothing making friction with your skin with the slightest of his movements.
"Mind your hands, please," you remind him as his hands slide down to your thighs.
He immediately rests his hands on each side of your waist and kisses your neck before pulling away. While you're putting your hair into a bun, you quietly watch him taking his clothes off through the mirror.
He's a lot more attractive than the one you imprinted in your mind, you wouldn't say he's muscular but he has muscles in the right places and they contracted when he's taking his shirts over his head, sending his hair disheveled.
You hurriedly distract yourself, taking care of the bath and turning the faucet off. You check the temperature once more by dipping your hand into the water.
"Bath is ready," you announce.
When you look over your shoulder, Hyunjin is already standing behind you, naked. You suddenly get nervous at how close he is, you can feel the heat his body emitting.
"You need help to take it off too?" He teasingly asks, picking at the thin strap of your underwear.
"If you want to," you coyly answer.
Hyunjin surely won't skip the chance to get physical with you, you stand still while hugging yourself as he takes your underwear off for you. He slowly pulls it down until it's pooling around your ankle and you kick it to the side.
"Are you going to help me get into the tub too?" You tease with a sly smile on your face.
To your surprise, he lifts you newlywed style and gently puts you down into the tub, showcasing his strength and the muscles on his arms.
"Anything else I can help you with?" He sweetly asks.
You take his hand and pull him close, leaving only a few inches between your faces. Seeing him this close and not being able to kiss him is a real torture.
"Actually yes, can you get the wine, please?" You politely ask with a soft smile.
-
YOU: I know for a fact that we can't be close to each other because if there's a spark, we'll catch a fire.
-
Memories are coming back, you and him in the bathtub, the water is warm but the temperature keeps on rising and rising. It's a scene that was once very familiar to him.
He'll never get used to seeing your naked body, you'll always appealing, alluring, and irresistible to him, it takes everything in him to not follow the urge to put his hands all over you.
The plan is to try to keep himself away from you but it seems like he already failed on that.
"Want to come to you," you say, putting your glass away and crawling over to him.
Unfortunately, your hand slips down the edge of the tub, sending you collapsing onto him but he's quick to catch you and steady you.
"Are you okay?"
You laugh as you rub your elbow, "I'm okay."
To avoid more accidents, he allows you to sit straddling him inside the tub, your hands are around his shoulders and your eyes are boring into his, filled with filthy ideas just like his.
"Let's get to know each other," you say.
He keeps his hands gripping the edges of the tub instead of on you, "Okay."
Your head is hovering above him and beads of water are dropping from the end of your hair onto his chest, "What's your favorite position?"
He kind of expected that the question would be about sex and he was right. Instead of running away from it, you're going straight for it, leading him into it. He drops his head to the back and groans.
"We shouldn't even think about it," he grumbles.
You're chuckling and lifting his head back to face you by supporting the nape of his neck with your hand, "We're just getting to know each other," you innocently say.
Hyunjin touches his lips as he thinks of an answer. He can think of his favorite positions but he can't help but think of the ones he wants to do with you. Then he looks at you and how you're straddling him, the way your eyes look down at him.
"I think this is the best position," he finally answers.
You tuck your hair behind your ear and place your hand on his chest, "Me on top is your favorite position?"
"I said best position for you, not for me," he explains it to you with a grin, "But I know I'd enjoy it nonetheless."
You giggle in response and lean in to kiss his neck, he's not expecting you to keep going at it, making a trail of kisses down the column of his throat.
This is not good and if he lets you keep going, he's not sure he can restrain himself anymore. He puts his hand on your neck and turns your head to make you look at him.
"We're here to talk so let's talk," he softly says, he gently touches your cheek with his thumb.
You nod and smile, leaning in while tightening your arms around his shoulders.
"Well, I'm so happy for us," you bump your nose against him, "Can you see that I'm so into you?"
It's hard to focus on the talk when your nipples are lightly grazing his chest. He has to actively tell his brain to keep it together.
"I never thought I'd meet the one here," he mutters to you.
You slip your hand into his hair, playing with his little ponytail and twirling it around your finger.
"Am I the one?" You ask with a shy smile.
He stares into your eyes which slowly enchant him, "You are the one."
He can't even believe that he said that out loud and his mouth would get ahead of his brain, but that doesn't make it less true. You are the one for him.
"I'd love to kiss you right now," you murmur with your lips merely inches away from his.
He immediately stops you from following your desire, he holds your face with both hands and keeps you close, "I'd love to do a thousand things to you but..." he can barely finish his sentence, he ends it with a sigh instead.
-
HYUNJIN: She's not making it easy for me, especially in the suite.
-
Bath time is over doesn't mean the temptation ends there too. You're dressed in a flimsy night dress that leaves so little to imagination and you catch him staring through it yet do nothing to stop him from doing it.
Hyunjin knows you secretly enjoy being ogled on like this.
"I feel like I need to test you a little bit," you say.
He lets out a chuckle, "Why?"
You put your hand across his chest and hover above him, "I need to know that you can be around me and you know, be good," you say with a nonchalant shrug.
He puts his hands under his head to prevent him from touching you, "I think I can. That's why I'm back," he not-so-confidently says.
"Okay," you repeatedly nod and touch his chest, caressing his soft, warm skin, then pour some wine onto it.
"What are you doing?" He asks with a suppressed moan as the wine streams down his front.
"I owe you a body shot, remember?" You coyly say, leaning in to drink the wine right from his body.
Hyunjin watches as you lick and suck the wine on his abdomen, you don't even hesitate to use your tongue to collect the droplets of wine on his abs.
"Oh, look at you being naughty!" He murmurs, feeling aroused at how you give him seductive gazes once in a while.
You giggle in response and continue your trail of kisses up to his neck and start nibbling on his ear, making his eyes flutter open and shut, immersed in the pleasure.
He has to use his hand to stop you or else, he'll get too worked up and—
You pull away and sit on the bed, tugging the hem of your night dress to take it off and leaving only your silk underwear on.
"And what are you doing now?" He asks, thinking that he's safely made it after that kinky body shot.
"You're okay with me sleeping naked tonight, right?" You say, tossing the night dress at him.
This is unfair. He's trying to be good and here you are, making it hard for him, literally and figuratively, and it's like everything he learned in that workshop evaporated from his head the second he sees your naked body.
You crawl over to him and just stay like that, hovering above him, teasing him with your body and how your breasts hang close to his face.
Using his knuckles, Hyunjin caresses your sternum down to your abdomen, then rests his hands on each side of your waist. How did he get himself into this compromising position?
"I'm anxious," he mutters.
You slowly lay yourself down on top of him and prop your elbow against the mattress to support your head, "Why?"
"Because I'm able to do whatever I want with you," he murmurs with his hand continuously rubbing the soft skin on your back.
You swipe your thumb across his lips and turn his head to face you, "If it were up to me, we could just say fuck it."
He slyly grins and licks his lips, making them glisten under the dim light, "Should we?"
You place a hot kiss on his neck and another on the sensitive skin behind his ear, then you softly whisper to him, "I say let's enjoy ourselves."
-
HYUNJIN: Despite everything, I think we deserve this last suite.
-
In the morning, it rains down kisses on your back, shoulder, and neck. He stretches his arm out, gesturing you to rest your head on it so he can pull you closer and peppering you with more neck and shoulder kisses.
"Morning," he hums to you.
"Morning," you mumble with eyes barely open.
You both stay like that for another moment, cuddling each other and simply enjoying each other's presence in comfortable silence.
After a while, he looks over your shoulder and says, "I had a great night last night."
You hold his hand and clutch it close to your chest along with the duvet, "Me too."
The morning continues with breakfast, you borrow Hyunjin's shirts since you're wearing nothing but your underwear. It really brings back the memory of the first time you went to the suite together with him.
While you're busy chewing your food, he suddenly grabs your elbow.
"You have a bruise, babe," he informs you with his thumb gently rubbing on it.
You put down your fork and immediately have a look at it, there's a blossoming bruise right below your elbow.
"Oh?" You guessed it was from last night when you accidentally slipped in the tub.
"Does it hurt?" His voice is tinted with concern.
"Well, it's your fault," you grumble at him and pick up your fork to continue eating.
He looks so puzzled at your words, making you want to tease him more.
"You were so rough last night," you jokingly add with a grin.
"Not that you minded last time," He replies with a cheeky response, then aggressively throws himself at you and attacks your neck with kisses.
There's not much time left in the suite, you head straight to the bathroom after breakfast, wash up, and change into a new pair of bikini. You're brushing your hair and tying it into a ponytail since you didn't take any of your hair products with you.
Hyunjin lifts you by the waist and sits you down on top of the sink, deciding to seduce you at the last minute, kissing you all over your chest and neck. Moans are spilling out of your parted mouth as he drags his full lips along your collarbone, then kisses the base of your throat.
He cages you between his arms and slightly bends down to be on the same eye level as you. The way he looks at you fondly yet intensely gets your heart flips and your belly turning at the same time. You keep your hands on his chest just in case he tries to do something.
However, you're not sure you can restrain yourself too when he looks this good with his hair slightly tousled and his lips are merely inches away from yours.
He then leans in, bringing his mouth to the side of your head, "I can put it in for a bit," he seductively whispers with his breath tickling your ear.
If you were anywhere than here, you would have crumbled in front of him in a second. Thankfully, you remember the task at hand and immediately push him away.
"Come on, we have to go!"
-
YOU: [Chuckles] It's kind of hard to resist him because I'm really, really attracted to Hyunjin.
-
The two of you going to the bedroom since everyone else is still there, probably waiting in anticipation whether we win that $90,000 back or not.
"What are we going to say to them?" Hyunjin asks.
"The prize fund is zero so I guess there's no money to lose here," You jokingly answer.
Hyunjin pushes the door of the bedroom and lets you in first. You see that everyone is still sitting on their beds and the chatter abruptly stops when they see you enter the room.
You both keep your facial expression calm and plain as you take a seat on the bench sofa in the middle of the room with Lana sitting prettily on the table at the end of the sofa.
Hyunjin looks at everyone and then at you, "Do you want to start?"
Well, you haven't thought of what you want to say but everyone is looking at you in anticipation and waiting for you to say something.
You open your mouth to speak but the cone gets ahead of you, Lana chimes and lights up.
"Last night, you both faced the ultimate test," Lana goes straight into business.
"If Hyunjin could put what he learned into practice, and as a couple you could refrain from breaking any retreat rules, the prize fund will be increased from $0 to $90,000."
You keep looking at the cone as she speaks and at times, glancing at Hyunjin.
"However, what I did not see was that your partner would be the problem."
Lana doesn't have to expose you like that, you were just having a little fun last night. You dramatically roll your eyes at the cone then look away.
"Even though she was successful in sexually arousing Hyunjin, he was able to dig deep, hold firm, and respect the rules of my retreat."
The most important part of it all is that you did not break the rules but okay, you'll let it slide because Lana is going to give back that $90,000.
"Which means the prize fund now stands at $90,000," Lana announces.
"Oh, yeah!" Diego triumphantly shouts and punches the air at the same time.
Andy is loudly whistling in reaction while everyone else is applauding the two of you for successfully paying your debts.
"Proud of you, guys," Edie cheerily says with a big smile on her small face.
"This is what you called growth," Remy says with two thumbs up.
It does pay to be good and you're happy that you don't owe anyone anything now. You can't say that it was easy to pass the test but you're proud of yourself for not acting selfishly and proving that you both have grown personally and as a couple.
"As a reward for showing restraint and putting the interests of the group above your own, I'm sending you on a date this afternoon," Lana adds.
Hearing that gets you to jump up and crash yourself at Hyunjin, and thankfully, he catches you right on time. Instead of putting you down, he hoists you higher and gives you a spin.
"Aww, stop it! You guys are so cute," Vic says in jealousy.
-
YOU: The last few days have been so hard for both of us. We earned this date. [Squeals] Oh, I'm just so excited!
-
Hyunjin meticulously picks his outfits for the date.
He settles on a light blue shirt and dark swimming trunks, he ties his long, dark hair half up and half down, and he uses his cologne with the scent you like so much.
As he waits by the beach for you, he's organizing his thoughts and planning on the things he wants to say to you. He has a plan in mind but he hasn't figured out how to do it yet, but more importantly, how to get the best outcome.
There you are, looking so beautiful with a smile that is brighter than the sun, walking up to him and only him. He holds his hand out of you even though you're still out of his reach.
"Have you been waiting long?" You ask the second you take his hand.
"Not long enough, apparently," he jokingly replies.
A boat takes you to a small island where the staff has prepared a nice picnic, along with a basket of food and a bottle of wine.
It's such a nice date, the sun is about to set for the day and there's no one in sight, it's just you and him, enjoying each other's company.
"You look amazing," he compliments you and how you look in your floral sundress.
"Thank you, baby. So are you," you compliment back with a smile.
He still doesn't know how to start, he can't just suddenly talk his feelings out but he knows he has to consider that he has limited time to do it, this date won't last forever and if he doesn't do it now, he'd only allow himself to keep retreating.
"I'm going to be honest, it's your physical caught my attention first," he confesses.
You smile and keep your eyes on him, letting him finish his talk while holding your champagne flute close to your mouth.
"I can't even say anything bad about you. You're stunning, undeniably beautiful," he awkwardly raises his hand at you.
Your smile grows wider and brighter, flustered from his words.
"But what truly amazed me was what you have inside. You're beautiful inside and out, and I admire you for that," he sincerely tells you as he lovingly stares at your face.
He puts down his glass of wine so he can take your hand and holds it in his, he looks at you again with a facial expression that turns a little tense from a while ago.
"I learned a lot with everything we've been through," he says, his thumb lazily rubbing the back of your hand as he speaks.
"We've come a long, long way," he adds.
Realizing that the talk is getting serious, you also put your drink away and give all of your attention to him.
"Yeah," you agree with a light nod.
"And for as long as I can remember, my emotions have been so shut off. I never felt what I feel for you with anyone else, ever," he emphasizes every word to let you know how much he means it.
You tilt your head to the side without taking your eyes off of him, and a smile that never wears off even for a second.
"You've brought out a vulnerable side of me I never wanted to bring out," he admits.
You nod again to show him that you are present and listening to every word he's saying.
"You made me realize that I do have a heart and I'm willing to take whatever risks are to come," he continues.
The smile on your face wavers a bit and you ask, "Are you sure?"
He nods and confidently answers, "Yes."
His next question is the one that he dreads to ask you but he has to, he has to know what you think before he can continue with the most important of all.
He gulps air and bravely asks, "What do you think about doing long distance relationship?"
He thought asking it would be the scariest part but it's not, it's waiting for the answer.
"Well, that's going to be a big challenge," you honestly answer.
For the first time, you break your eye contact with him and add, "The thought of it is scary to me."
The answer is making him nervous and he suddenly doubts his decision to ask you the big question. He gets caught between two choices: continue his plan and risk getting rejected or abort the plan and try again next time?
Risk it or play it safe?
-
HYUNJIN: I want her to be my girlfriend but the one thing that scares me the most is the person I've fallen for lives on the other side of the world.
-
It seems like something you said displeased Hyunjin in a way, maybe you said something he doesn't want to hear and you understand if he feels that way, you just want to keep it honest with him.
Since Hyunjin has done talking, you take the turn to tell him about your feelings and more. It's impossible to put your feelings into words but you try your best at it.
But first, you close the gap between your bodies, you scoot closer to him, and put your clasped hands on your lap.
"Hyunjin," you softly call him to get his attention.
"Yes?" He sweetly replies.
"I loved meeting you and getting to know who you really are," you barely began but you're feeling emotional already, "I loved how we've fallen for each other so fast but at the same time, it was natural and nice."
He keeps his eyes on you and at times, keeps your hair tucked to your ear from the sea breeze.
"We got to talk about our lives and exchange thoughts and ideas too," you continue while trying not to break into tears in between your words.
"And the way you're always there for me, oh..." you let out a sigh with eyes closed, "it's amazing."
From what he said earlier, you get it now that he's dreading the same thing with you. Once the retreat ends, the two of you have to go back home and live far away from each other. You can't even bear losing him for those two days after he got eliminated so what makes you believe you can stand living far away from him?
It's hard but it's not about capability, it's whether you're willing or not. For him, you're willing to do anything.
"Someone a million miles away that's worth it will always be worth it," you tell him.
He looks so tense that you doubt he catches the meaning of what you said to him so you simplify it for him.
"No man I've ever met is worth it," you hold his hand tighter and continue, "Except you."
The warmth and the glow on his face return almost immediately like someone has turned up the brightness on his face.
"I've never liked someone as much as I like you and I'm willing to make it work," you remark.
Hyunjin looks relieved but you can see that he's holding something back, you sense he still has something else to say to you.
"Um..." he tucks a lock of his hair behind his ear.
You lean in close and curiously ask, "What?
He looks up and he immediately holds your eyes in an intense gaze, "I would like to go to the next step," he says.
It's like someone holds your heart and squeezes it tight, making you hold your breath without you wanting to.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" Hyunjin asks with eyes that are filled with hopeful glints.
You allow yourself to breathe to give him a confident answer, "Yes."
Hyunjin doesn't wait to put his arms around you and pull you into a hug, he buries his nose in your neck to drink in your natural scent that gives him a sense of comfort.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes..." you repeatedly say as you hug him back.
Without looking, you can hear him smiling close to your ear and you don't expect him to say those three words right into your ear.
"I love you."
You immediately pull away from his hug and look at him, "Me too," you whine.
You almost cry because all this time, you thought he didn't like you as much as you do or even had the faintest idea that he would be the first and this soon to say those three words to you.
"You love me?" He asks in disbelief.
"I've been holding myself back from telling you that 'cause I'm not sure if you feel the same so I waited for you to say it first," you can't hold it much longer, you let your emotions out and your eyes instantly get teary.
"Oh, baby," he coos, pulling you into a hug again. He holds your face with both hands and places a chaste kiss on your forehead, long and lingering, making your heart overflow with warm feelings.
"Say it again to me, please?" He sweetly begs.
"I love you," you softly mutter.
You thought saying it would lessen the ache in your heart but it's the opposite, your heart still aches every time you say it because it's real and it's true, and the pain is the proof of it.
There's that melodic chime and you look around to see where it comes from, not realizing that it's both of your watches turn green.
Hyunjin doesn't waste another second but bring your head close and slightly tilts your head upward. He flashes you a smile before leaning in and placing his soft lips on yours. You close your eyes to heighten the other senses so you can taste him more and feel him better.
The kiss itself is rewarding and exceptional, you feel like kissing him for the first time all over again.
He stops and pulls away for a second to ask, "Is it still green?"
You glance down at your wrist and nod, "Uh-huh, it's still green."
Hyunjin dives in for another kiss, putting his hand on the nape of your neck and deepening the kiss rather too passionately, sending you both to fall onto the picnic mat.
-
YOU: We've still got a lot to learn and there's going to be plenty more challenges for us out there but if he's by my side, I don't think anything can go wrong.
-
Some people are hanging out in the firepit, catching the two of you walking hand-in-hand, returning from the date. They are hooting at the sight of you and you can't help but smile, well, you've been smiling non-stop since Hyunjin asked you to be his girlfriend.
"Look at you, guys! Smiling ear to ear!" Saskia teases you with a pat on your butt.
You both sit on the smaller sofa facing everyone, "I know you won't believe it but we got a green light," you brag with a grin.
"Oh!" Saskia coos with her hands covering her mouth.
"Go on, spill!" Emilie demands the details from you.
"It was a beautiful date. We went to this beautiful small island, just the two of us," you make it succinct for all of them.
"And we're official now," Hyunjin adds with her arm around your shoulder.
"Man, you have a girlfriend now!" Andy proudly says, coming at him for an aggressive hug.
"Aww, I'm so happy for you guys," Emilie mutters with an envious smile.
The happy moment has to end with Lana assembling everyone in the cabana. You both successfully gained back $90,000 in the prize fund so you don't have to worry about the money anymore. Then again, you never know what's coming, all you know is she always makes you worry in this retreat.
The cone chimes and at this point, you give up on trying to guess what kind of news she's going to announce this time.
"Hello, everyone."
"Hi, Lana!" Everyone replies
"How do you feel knowing the retreat is almost over?" She asks.
"I'm happy we learned a lot," Andy answers.
"Yeah. Exactly," Saskia agrees with him.
"Sad that it'll be over soon," Edie says with a pout.
"Can we stay a little longer?" Saskia jokingly asks.
"As this is your last night in the retreat, I've prepared a special Cinelana with your best moments in the retreat," she announces.
All is cheering in response to this delightful surprise from Lana but Edouard isn't that delighted to hear it.
"Another Cinelana?" He asks with a weird look on his face, "I heard the last one wasn't very good."
While Andy is rubbing his hands together in excitement, "It's going to be awesome."
"Fuck. Everyone is going to cry," Frida says, already fanning her eyes in case it waters.
The TV lights up with the screen showing the word 'Cinelana' and then a video plays, a compilation of moments from the first time the group entered the retreat to the recent one where everyone had fun during the cooking workshop.
Everyone cheers whenever someone is kissing and laughs whenever it shows the goofy things people did, and for you, your heart bursts whenever you and Hyunjin appear on the screen, getting all sorts of emotions as you're watching it.
Edie puts her arm around you and holds you close as the video keeps playing, she's getting emotional as well the more she watches.
When the video ends, everyone takes a moment to compose themselves before applauding. Looking back at it, you can see that you have grown a lot as a person and you find yourself getting emotional by it, you carefully wipe the corners of your eyes and try not to ruin your makeup.
"Damn. I look that good on TV?" Andy playfully says.
"Play it again!" Saskia pleads with her hands raised in the air.
Lana chimes again and starts talking, "After reviewing your steps here at the retreat, I can see that you've changed a lot since you arrived here. Anything you'd like to share?"
Everyone shares their experiences in the retreat and how it changed them in a way. When it comes to your turn, you take a second to gather your thoughts and organize them into words.
"I feel like I had a lot of barriers and here, I learned to open up and really be myself," you share.
Hyunjin takes his turn next, licking his lips before speaking, "In here, I learned that the more honest you are with people, the more they become part of your life," he says with a smile and a glance at you.
It's only hitting you now that the retreat is going to end soon and you feel emotional all over again. Everything that you went through here, shaped you into who you are today and for that, you're grateful for this experience.
After all, everyone is really happy to know that we did our best and everything worked out in the end.
-
YOU: I'm having mixed feelings, you know? I miss everything that has happened here. It was really like a movie, it went by so fast.
-
The lights are on too early or that's what you thought. You stay lying on your stomach and dive back into your pillow, refusing to wake up.
Not long after, Hyunjin sneaks his hand under and rests it on the arch of your back. He lands gentle caresses on your back and softly murmurs, "Wake up, baby."
"Mmh," you hum in response to let him know that you're awake.
Dissatisfied with your answer, he hovers above you and slowly puts most of his weight on you.
"Wake up," he says again with a slobbering kiss on your bare shoulder.
"I'm awake," you croak with your eyes closed.
He gently removes the hair covering your face to place a kiss on your cheek, "Still sleepy, mmh?"
You lift your head from the pillow and nod with your eyes still shut.
"Cute," he comments and places another kiss on your cheek.
He lets you sleep more as he cuddles you in his arms, playing with your hair while chatting with Andy on the next bed.
A while later, the cone chimes for her usual morning greeting.
"Good morning, everyone."
"Morning, Lana!" Diego is the loudest to reply to her greeting.
"Welcome to the last day of the retreat."
It's kind of hard to believe that you're close to the end line and when you look back at it, it feels so short compared to the thought you had when you started it.
"I'll be announcing who the finalists are shortly," Lana announces.
Hoping to win the money too would be too much to ask, you already feel incredibly lucky that Lana decided to give Hyunjin another chance and make it possible for you to finish the retreat together with him.
"This is the last day! Let's make it count!" Edie cheerfully shouts to the room.
Hyunjin cups your cheek and looks at you, "Want to swim together?"
"Okay," you mumble.
"Okay?"
"Okay," you repeat with a chuckle.
You head straight to the bathroom to wash up and change into a swimsuit before joining Hyunjin in the swimming pool.
The morning sun heats the pool water, making it lukewarm and comfortable for you to dip your feet in. You sit and watch Hyunjin skillfully swimming in a backstroke style.
As he waddles his way to you, you hold your arms out at him, "Take me for a ride, baby!"
He brushes his wet hair to the back before turning around, offering his back at you, and lets you hop on it. You put your arms around his neck for support as he takes you for a swim around the pool.
"So, what's our plan?" You surprise him with a question as the two of you stand on the side of the pool.
"Uhm..." he takes a second to wipe the beads of water on his face, "You're coming home with me, that's for sure."
You prop a hand under your chin and slyly smile at him, "And?"
This time, he wipes the beads of water hanging under his chin, "You want to know?"
"Uh-huh," you eagerly nod.
"Come closer and I'll tell you," he says with his fingers gesturing you to come close.
You obey and lean closer, he leans in as well but his mouth gets way too close to your ear and when you think he's about to whisper something, he kisses your neck instead.
He keeps you close with his arm tightly wrapped around your waist and instead of trying to fight it, you cave in and hold him back.
It's a moment like this that makes you wish things remain the same once you get outside of this retreat.
-
YOU: I'll miss waking up next to him and just being with him all the time [sadly smiles]
-
A little after lunch, Lana gathered everyone for the finalist's announcement. They may seem calm but you believe, they anticipate the news on whether they have the chance to win the money or not.
Lana comes online and after all these times, that melodic chime makes you nervous still.
"Oh, I'm not going to miss that sound," you groan.
Hyunjin smiles and rubs his hand up and down your arm to comfort you.
"Hello, everyone," Lana greets.
"Hello, Lana!" Everyone enthusiastically replies which is very unusual.
"I've been collecting data since you arrived and have now conducted my final analysis," She informs.
You have accepted the fact that your chance to be a finalist is slim, close to zero so you don't anticipate the announcement as much as everyone else.
"As you are aware, there was a prize fund of $200,000 allocated to aid your development. Now, the prize fund stands at $90,000."
"That's a lot of money," Diego says even though more than half of the total prize money has gone.
"There are three places at the final," Lana reveals.
You see everyone is glancing at each other and probably, calculating their chances in their heads as they keep following Lana's further explanation.
"Following my rules alone isn't enough to win. The finalists are those who have shown the most personal growth during their time at the retreat."
-
YOU: Will I win the money? Probably not. But would I like to win the money? Yes, I'd love to.
-
Hyunjin doesn't hope much about winning the money, he's happy just to gain that money back for everyone to win in the first place.
"The first finalist is..."
He also believes that Lana will make the right choices so whoever gets chosen, deserves it.
"Vic and Edouard, I nominate you as a couple," Lana announces.
Vic and Edouard take a stand and hug each other, looking utterly happy to be one of the three finalists. As a couple, they blossomed from all the hardships they went through together and that makes them deserve a spot in the final three.
"The second finalist is..." Lana continues with the announcement.
Hyunjin sees that you don't seem that hopeful to be called as a finalist as well but not disappointed either. The most important thing of all is you got each other and that's enough.
"...Edie."
A round of applause is aimed toward Edie who gladly stands up to take the second finalist spot, smiling as Lana explains the reason why she chose her to be a finalist.
"The third and last finalist is..."
His guess is either Frida or Andy because they both have shown so much growth in the retreat and they've been avid followers of Lana's principles.
"...Hyunjin."
It takes him a minute to register that Lana called his name, well, his guess is off-mark because he didn't expect that he'll be a finalist, or even considered to be one.
You keep yanking his arm, urging him to stand up as Lana instructed. He quickly gets ahold of himself and gets up from the sofa as everyone looks at him with pride.
"Hyunjin, although you connected with your partner from the start, you struggled to change your player ways, putting your sexual desires first and breaking numerous rules that I have to take drastic changes."
You quietly hold his hand behind him and stare up at him with a proud smile on your face, shaking it in excitement.
"But when I gave you a second chance, you embraced the opportunity to grow and found the importance of emotional intimacy."
-
HYUNJIN: I'm just happy to be considered that I am worthy enough, really.
-
It's a privilege to see him grow, he's changed so much from the person you met on the first day of the retreat to the man you're looking at now.
As someone who takes a small part in his transformative journey, you're more than happy to see his growth being acknowledged and standing as one of the finalists.
"Hyunjin, Edie, or Vic and Edouard will walk away with $90,000 and the decision will be made by the remaining guests."
At the end of the day, it's up to us to choose who actually wins because we are there every step of the way and being with each other all the time. You can only hope that everyone is making the right decision.
"Will the shortlisted guests please leave the cabana while the voting takes place?"
You get up to give Hyunjin a quick hug before he leaves with the other finalists.
"See you later," he mutters to you with a peck on your cheek.
"Mmh. See you later," you say with a smile.
Edie waves her hands and blows kisses at everyone before turning around to leave the cabana.
"I've been with them since day one. I've seen their journey so much and it's hard because how can you compare them?" Andy says, torn in between three choices.
"It's a question of decision which one you think deserves it most," Saskia suggests.
-
YOU: Hyunjin may have broken the most rules in the retreat but I've seen him learn and grow from those mistakes so my vote goes to him.
-
The dressing room is crowded and full of chatters, everyone is busy getting ready for the last party in the villa.
You put on the white dress you've been saving for which fits the theme 'White Party'. For the hair, you get help from Vic, curling them into loose, soft waves while you're doing your makeup.
This is what you're going to miss the most, everyone is in one room and interacting, there is laughter and smiles, and all sorts of energy converge in this one room.
Since the finalists have to wait in the dressing room, you make time to have a few words with Hyunjin and come up to him for a hug.
"I'm so proud of you," you mutter low enough only for him to hear and ignore that there are other people in the room.
He doesn't even try to stop you but stays still as you place little kisses and leave faint lipstick marks all over his face.
"So, so proud," you say again while tightening your arms around him.
He carefully pats your hand without ruining your hair and then kisses the top of your head.
"We're going to win that money," he jokingly says with a sly smile.
There's a possibility that he'd win but you don't want to put on a high hope. You decide to laugh it off but secretly wish that it'll come true in your head.
"You'd better. Flight tickets aren't cheap," you joke back.
With another kiss on his cheek, you leave the dressing room and catch Frida checking herself out in the bathroom. You decide to join her to check your appearance one more time.
"Look at us!" Frida says, putting her arm on your shoulder, "We became new women."
You smile as you look at both of your reflections in the mirror, and you like the person that you're seeing, she's confident, she's emotionally available, and ready for the world.
-
YOU: I came in a player and now I'm leaving with my head high and a smile on my face. I just need Hyunjin to win that money [laughs]
-
You and Frida are the last ones to join everyone by the pool where the last party is held. Frida notices that everyone is already holding a drink in their hands.
"Is that Prosecco?" She asks.
Frida squeals even though no one is answering her, she quickly grabs two glasses for her and you with Diego filling them for both of you.
"Let's have a toast for Lana," Andy shouts.
Everyone raises their glasses in the air and waits for the cue to drink it.
"And cheers to our long, hard, sexless summer," Edie adds.
Not long after, the finalists join the party with a dramatic entrance. The moment you had with Hyunjin earlier was so brief that you didn't pay attention to his outfit.
Silk shirts seem tacky to most people but Hyunjin is not most people, he looks damn good in it. It's one of those moments that makes you wonder if he really is your boyfriend. Heck! You even forgot that he's your boyfriend.
"You look amazing," you whisper into his ear.
"Thank you," he shyly says, blushing.
For the first time, everyone is happy for Lana to interrupt the party, mostly because they can't wait to find out who's going to take home the money.
"Good evening, everyone."
It may be going to be the last time you hear that melodic chime and God, let it be the last time.
"During your time at my retreat, you have broken my rules 20 times," Lana announces.
You almost choke on your wine hearing that, feeling guilty for contributing to half of those rule breaks.
"Goddamn!" Remy exclaims with eyes widening in slight shock.
"Throughout your stay, I've observed people commit to the process and ultimately make a significant change," Lana continues.
Edie cups her hands around her mouth and loudly says, "You did a good job, Lana!"
Everyone feels the need to give Lana a round of applause because all the credit goes to that cone-shaped cockblocker.
"The time has come to announce the winner."
This is where things get tense and you feel nervous for Hyunjin no matter how much you convince yourself that he doesn't need to win that money, he doesn't need to win anything at all.
"Finalists, please stand up!" Lana orders.
Hyunjin looks at you and you hurriedly give him a sweet kiss on the cheek.
"You got this, baby," you mutter with a smile as he gets up to hear the winner's announcement.
-
HYUNJIN: We've all been going through so many emotions and pushing ourselves to be better.
YOU: So happy that we've been able to share this experience with everyone here [smiles]
-
"The votes have been counted and only one finalist can check out with a $90,000 prize."
Hyunjin still can't believe that he's standing as one of the finalists and possibly, wins the money. It's a little funny though, remembering he went through a lot to get that money back.
"The person in third place is..."
It would be funnier if he won that money too, right? But he should remain humble, the other two are as deserving as him to win it if not more.
"...Edie."
Instead of looking disappointed, Edie keeps on smiling, she blows kisses to everyone, including him, Vic, and Edouard. Hyunjin smiles back at her, giving her a round of applause for winning third place.
Then it hits him that he's on the top two and it feels real with you holding his hand so tightly behind him.
"The winner who will be leaving with $90,000 is..."
He can feel you hold his hand tighter and tighter in each passing second his knuckles turn white.
"...Vic and Edouard."
-
YOU: We may have not won but I still win because I have the best man here.
HYUNJIN: Money is easy to make, but love is hard to find [smiles]
YOU: [looks at Hyunjin] Well said, baby.
-
Even though you didn't hear the name you wanted to hear, it doesn't stop you from celebrating. You even come to give them a hug to congratulate them on their win.
"Congrats, Vic!" You sincerely say to her as you tightly hug her.
Looking at her crying in happy tears gets you emotional as well, your eyes start to water, feeling tremendously happy for both of them and for everyone too.
To fully celebrate the moment, Edouard pops open a bottle of champagne and sprays it at everyone. You're lucky that Hyunjin immediately shields you from getting wine all over your dress.
After Edouard and Vic take a big, triumphant sip of wine, Lana comes with one, last announcement:
"My retreat is officially over. The rules no longer apply."
The way you and Hyunjin immediately look at each other and waste no time to crash your lips together that your teeth almost collide.
The kiss is momentous, making it a special memory that you'll cherish for life. Dare you say, like a movie.
"Pool party!" Andy spontaneously shouts into the night as he runs and jumps into the pool fully clothed.
Everyone laughs at the idea but a moment later, following suit, jumping into the pool with their clothes still on. Hyunjin looks at you to see if you think of the same thing as him. You nod in signal and take his hand, walking with him to the edge of the pool to finally jump into the swimming pool together.
He emerges out of the water first and hurriedly pulls you out, he puts your arms around him as support.
He suddenly gets the urge to utter his feelings and goes with it, "I love you."
You put your forehead against him and smile, "You know I love you too."
Out of happiness, Hyunjin lifts you up and quickly brings you down once he notices that your wet dress is stuck to your body and exposes everything, and a crazy idea crosses his head at that moment.
"What?" You ask in confusion.
He leans into your ear and says, "Want to check the suite for one last time?"
You gently hit his chest in reaction and break into laughter, and he thinks he should be taking it as it is, a crazy idea and nothing more.
You look around before looking back at him and say, "We should go now before anyone notices."
And this is why he likes you, you're shy but bold at times, a bit crazy but that's how he likes it. But the best thing of all, you are his.
-
YOU: Any final words of wisdom, babe?
HYUNJIN: It was an amazing journey with a perfect ending [smiles]
YOU: [nods] Yes.
HYUNJIN: But if I have to be honest, I just want to take her home now so we can f—
-
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#stray kids smut#skz smut#Hyunjin smut#Hwang Hyunjin smut#Hyunjin x reader#skz x reader#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#skz fics#skz fanfics#kpop smut#kpop fics#kpop fanfics#seospicy smut#too hot to handle series
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Curious Time - Lando Norris
Lando Norris x Singer!reader
Multiple part series where their friendship was easy, their feelings were confusing and the distance was the hardest <3
(Third person perspective)
!!explicit content warning: 18+!!
PART 5 -
CONVINCED ME
“You convinced me that I can't know if I never try. Love me like you do, you make me feel so new.”
Lando knew she wasn't for him. He was sick of being alone, almost the entire paddock had girlfriends, people who didn't doubt their relationship, someone who'd fight for him like he would do for her.
Lacy was passing time and that time had passed. After the call with Pippa he was inconsolable, no tears left his eyes, that wasn't how he dealt with things. But he was almost mute, only answering yes or no to any questions asked. He left Saskia in his bed no goodbye or anything and got on his flight to Singapore. Arguably the hardest race of the season, the weather was draining when you were out of the car, the sickness he felt within the car was unmatched. Until now. This loneliness looming over him couldn't be topped he felt.
Press day looming, he wasn't in any state to speak to anyone, act with his teammate or interact with fans. He wanted none of it. He wanted to do the race. Then fly to y/n. His flight was booked, no one knew he couldn't risk them telling her and her running away or attempting to convince her otherwise. He needed her in anyway, he just needed her.
She was aware of how he was feeling, she over heard max and him on the phone when she was visiting P. She couldn't pull herself away from the conversation. She ruined her chance with him and now she's destroyed his relationship with Lacy. She felt awful.
She planned before the album dropped to have a break from social appearances and interviews as once November 4th hit they'd be non stop. But her time was consumed with worry, about her future, about his, about everything. Her needed rest was anything but that.
She kept updated with Lando at the Singapore Grand Prix with his performance last year ending up second, all eyes were on McLaren.
Qualifying was here, Lando was in the zone flying in Q1 and Q2. She hoped he was channeling everything to keep him going. Q3 wasn't awful ending up 6th place, not the best place to start on the street circuit but similarly not the worst.
One thing she loved about Lando was his ability to let go as soon as his helmet was on, she's glad that was a trait he could still channel following the recent turmoil she'd caused for him.
She believed she'd blown all chance. Contact was less the minimum, his name didn't even grace her instagram likes anymore. Total radio silence. And she was struggling, the girls would take her out, introduce her to their friends. But the same rule applied, they weren't him. And although she couldn't have him, she certainly didn't want anyone else.
P2! Again Lando finished P2 in the race of his life it looked like. She cheered, reaching for her phone, only to put it down right away. It's not your place anymore she told herself.
Lando was ecstatic, the first positive emotion he'd felt in weeks. Although he wanted to celebrate with the team, he wanted to get to her more. Rushing out of the paddock jumping in his car, not before throwing his hat to a group of young boys waiting for him, watching them fight over it in his rear view as he drove away.
He rested for a few hours once he got to London, hoping no pictures of him had reached her timeline. A few hours of sleep he caught up on, before heading to her. He prayed she was in, it'd be just his luck if she wasn't.
It was 8pm, she's ready for an early night. Make up removed, hair falling slightly messily over her shoulders and matching pyjamas set covering her figure.
Making a cup of tea before bed, she pottered in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boiled when a knock made her jump out of her skin as it echoed through her apartment.
The face appearing before her was the last person on earth she expected.
"Lando? What? Um, hi. What?" So startled sentence ran through her head but failed to reach her lips. She stepped aside for him to come in not saying anything else.
He looked tired but gorgeous as always, he too didn't say a word he just looked at her. She couldn't read his expression, maybe due to it being so long since she's seen him or because he wasn't sure what he was feeling himself.
!!!
He finally spoke, "don't say a word." He demanded, grabbing both sides of her face and pushing his body against hers so her back hit the door behind her. He kissed her softly but only for a second before it intensified. She was lost in the moment, her hands lifting up to get lost in his curls, pulling on them as he leaves her lips abandoned before he continues kissing and biting down her neck to her collarbones.
Her mind catches up with her, her voice small and out of breath from the kiss, "Lando. Lando! Wait." He stopped immediately, worried he'd taken it too far.
"Are you sure you want this? Are you just going to leave me tomorrow? You have every right to be angry but I don't want either if us to regret this." She's right, it'll be their first time sleeping together, hell that was their first time kissing each other more than just a peck.
He knew he wouldn't regret it, he was still upset. But he wouldn't regret it, he's wanted this for the last 2 years, he's needed this for the past 6 months.
"Y/n/n, it feels right doesnt it? Don't worry about tomorrow, do you want this now?" God she does her legs are already weak from the kiss, doing there best to relive some tension rubbing together.
No words necessary she attached her lips back to his all the confirmation he needed.
His hands slipped below her bare legs hoisting her up, she instinctively wrap your legs around his waist, moaning softly into his mouth as she feels him, hard, rubbing against her. He wanders straight into her bedroom, she praises herself for doing some decluttering earlier that day.
He rests her down on the bed, taking her in hair splayed out, "candles, huh? Were you expecting me?" He jokes. Humour right now is not appreciated by her as she leans up grabbing his hoodie pulling him on top of her.
He rest between her legs once more, arms beside her holding his weight above her. He pulls back from her kisses once more to which she groans in frustration.
"I don't think you're in the position to be demanding anything from me baby."
Baby
She's desperate for him and he's taking his sweet time. "Lando please." She whimpers trying to pull him down again, missing his lips against hers.
"Fuck say it again baby. Beg for me. Show me that you deserve it."
"Please. Please. I'll be good. Touch me, kiss me anything. Please"
He dives back down lips attacking her neck straight away, kissing, biting, marks being made down to her collarbones.
"Can I take this off?" He slides the strap off of her shoulder signalling he wants her naked infront of him.
She nods staring at him almost bewildered, she can't believe this is happening. She's hidden her feeling for so long and here he is undressing her after she believed she wouldn't see him again.
He pulls off her top shorts leaving her completely vulnerable in front of him. Her nipples hard point at him, he's staring think, God she's beautiful. Not a single imperfection in his eyes. Her skin smooth to the touch, freckles delicately scattered over her body, her lips puffy, cheek flushed and marks from him littering her neck.
She notices him analysing her and instinctively goes to attempting to cover her bare body before him. Her arms wrap themselves around her chest, wondering if he likes what he sees or if he's changed his mind.
He grabs her wrists, holding them about her head with one of his large hands. "Don't." He says.
"Please don't hide yourself from me. You're perfect. You're mine and you're perfect." He kisses her once more wrists still pinned, she tries to fight it desperately wanting to touch him, get him out of his clothes and inside her. The more she resists the more he tightens.
"Lando. Do something please I'm begging you." She's throbbing at this point begging for his touch, desperate for it.
"Whatever you want, baby."
He removes his hoodie, she gapes at his body one she'd seen hundreds of times before but never it hovering over her, fuck.
He kisses from her neck down her chest, flicking her nipples with his tongue earning another moan from her. Taking them in her mouth biting and sucking gently as his hand travels down her stomach and between her legs. He'd never felt someone this desperate for him before. His slender fingers toy with her clit as her back arches from the contact, he inserts one finger, followed by another, his thumb now concentrating on her clit. She's moaning and writing at his touch.
He shuffles down her bed lips now attaching her clit, tongue swirling in circles whilst his fingers dance inside her.
"Lando. I'm so- don't- don't stop." Her body quivering beneath him his unoccupied arm laying across or stomach now to try and limit some movement.
Her body shakes as she reaches her highs, chanting his name louder and louder.
"Fuck." She exclaims.
"We're not done yet baby. You going to let me take care of you again?" His fingers finding the drawstring of his joggers pulling them off completely.
"Let me do something for you Lan, please" she looks at him through hooded eyes, looking exhausted already.
"No baby it's all about you right now." He removes the cloth of his boxers, setting her knees up beside him as she lays on her back.
"You ready baby? Can you take it?"
"I need it. Please I need to feel you." She cries out, he taps his tip on her now extremely sensitive clit before allowing himself to sink into her.
"Fuck" he whispers, she's gripped around him in a perfect fit. She was perfect for him.
Thrusting deeper and deeper, as she chants his name gripping onto any part she can. His arms are tattooed with the marks of her nails raking down them as she reaches her second high of the night, it hitting her hard.
Lando slows the rhythm as she begs him to be gentle clearing becoming overwhelmed and overstimulated. "You going to let me cum inside you baby? Can I fill you up?"
"Daddy please. Please"
Daddy. That finished it for him, hoping he could go a bit longer but once that word left her lips he was done for. He swears that's the most intense it's felt.
He gently removes himself from her, entering her en suite, grabbing the first towel he sees. Re entering her room she's propped herself up on her elbows, looking for him as if he's disappeared, slightly delirious. He wipes off what's leaked from her. Urging her to move up under the covers.
"Thank you for coming Lan." She sighs, wrapped in his arms, she's deeply missed being his little spoon. "I don't know what changed your mind. But thank you for being here."
"I'm glad I'm here but I don't want to talk about that right now. Just want to enjoy you and that great sex we had." He smirks into her shoulder, avoiding the dressing topic they'd both have to face at some point.
"Hmm I'd give it a 3/10." She mocks, knowing that's a complete lie.
"That's why you were screaming daddy at me right, baby? Where did that come from?" His smile getting wider and cockier at the minute.
"Please don't. It's your fault anyway.”
If that's his fault, he'd love to be to blame all day everyday. She's finally back in his arms and for now he's enjoying this ignorant bliss.
Masterlist
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“ you were going to leave without saying goodbye? ”
Theo turned around as he heard Saskia behind him. "Sorry Sas, I just didn't want to make things worse," They said as they looked over at her. "I feel like I am making things worse with being here."
Theo had ended up at some house party with Saskia that he didn't really want to be at. He only came because she asked him to come, but he felt like he wasn't being much fun.
He had a lot on his mind lately, Theo didn't know when it happened exactly, but recently he started to have feelings for Saskia. He knew she didn't feel the same so he decided it was best to keep it a secret.
"You look like you are having fun here," Theo said as he looked down at the ground. "Please go join the party again, I will see you another day," He added giving Saskia a quick smile before turning back around to leave.
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Alice Krige's Phenomenal Jessica
So, I love Rebecca Ferguson as Jessica. She brings this ominous dread of a cult leader that neither the books or prior adaptations did. I also enjoyed Saskia Reeves in the 2000 miniseries for being this strong, motherly figure the adaptation needed.
But this lady right here is my favourite:
That is Alice Krige who you might recognise as the Borq Queen and she absolutely ruled in the 2003 Children of Dune adaptation. She threaded the role between Bene Gesserit and Reverend Mother and grandmother and mentor so perfectly that whenever I think of Lady Jessica, this is who I think of.
She has a warmth to her that no other Jessica has ever managed. This is a person you want to tell all your secerets because you know she has the right answer.
But she's also a Bene Gesserit that is always watching, always oberving you and everything you do. Determinig how much of a threat you are and that threat can be family. Whether it is her daughter Alia, her grandson Leto II (the second) (no, really, he's the 2nd Leto II), or her granddaughter Ghanima.
But beyond that, she also has incredibly complicated relations with the other women of the story.
With Princess Irulan (played by the magnificent Julie Cox), arguably her son's most loyal ally and adoptive mother of her grandchildren. Their relationship evolving from animosity as they both try to protect Paul's children in different ways: Jessica from the danger of abomination (which is her own daught, Alia) and Irulan from Jessica who she believes has returned to her Bene Gesserit loyalty. This animosity evolves to trust as they realise who the enemy is and then sincere companionship as they bid each other goodbye.
And then there's her relationship with Wensicia, Irulan's sister. The miniseries made the brilliant move to make her the elder (which I'm using for my own fic) and that puts Jessica and Wensicia on equal footing as matriachs of great Houses with sons vying for the role of Emperor. Jessica, of course, won in the last generation with Paul ascending as an Atreides Emperor, but with Paul gone the Golden Lion Throne is up for grabs, and Wensicia's son Darad'n Corrino is the key player in their rivalry. Jessica, wins the loyalty of Farad'n not by manipulating him with her Bene Gesserit training, but by recognising the lack of love she gave Alia as a mistake and offering true kindness to Farad'n. By the end, Farad'n assumes Jessica's role as an Atreides concubine who sires the heirs of the lineage, but there is potential for love to come, just as Duke Leto loved her.
In short, the 2003 CoD miniseries had my favourite portrayal of Jessica and inherited some of the best adpatation changes from the 2000 Dune miniseries. Everyone should watch it and just treat the first series as a stage play, laugh at the constumes, and just enjoy the nerdy sincerity in adapting this weird piece of literature.
#lady jessica#dune#children of dune#alice krige#princess irulan#house atreides#plotting and scheming#dune miniseries#julie cox#house corrino
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SHOOT - DAY 4
The final day! We met at my flat and got the kit ready. The plan was for the rest of the crew to get the snorricam footage whilst they walked to the Commie Pool where we were meeting our actors, whilst I drove the rest of the kit in the car. Unfortunately, and perhaps something I should have planned better with Saskia, it was St Patricks Day, and Edinburgh was full of hordes of obnoxious uni of students all trying to get drunk before midday. This meant that traffic was so slow and trying to find parking was near impossible. Eventually, I found a spot I could temporarily stop at, and got the crew to grab all the kit. I then drove further down Dalkieth road, as I knew a spot you could park for free from when I used to stay down that way. I parked and literally sprinted back to the Commie Pool, as our actors had been waiting there with India for about twenty minutes already. Out-of-breath and red in the face, I greeted our actors, assembled the crew and together we walked up to our filming spot on Authurs Seat. We had gained permission to film up Authurs seat from 2pm-6pm, which put us on a tight time schedule. Once we were up there, we started setting up. I went over the scenes with my actors and we began to block. Lev was doing good today, but I think was starting to just get a bit tired of being in the suit, so like the last two days I prioritised their well-being and had them out of the suit as much as possible. Once we were up there, we realised we had forgotten the prop for the CO2 box!! I worked with India to find a solution, which was to wrap the Matte Box box in a asda bag and tape it to look like a parcel. It looked good, and this is the prop we use in the final film. Once we got filming, we started whizzing through slates. The clouds were a bit frustrating, as they were constantly changing, but not enough to absolutely ruin continuity. Overall it was quite an easy day, other than the beginning. I got a bit stressed by the end as I was wary of park rangers coming to check on us at 6pm, but Gus wanted to get a shot with the sun setting. We were packed up and leaving by 6 and got a good shot with the sun setting, so it all worked out. I ran ahead and said goodbye to Liam who was getting a bus to the train station to get back to glasgow. I ran to get my car and met the crew near the bottom of the hill. We loaded the car and said our goodbyes and that was that. Wrapped! After four long days, I was really happy with what we achieved, and excited to get it to edit. I went home and did DIT, double-checking all the sound and footage was alright.
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Saskia really didn't want to have to leave Theo, but she knew she'd be seeing them soon at the press meeting anyway, only they'd have a hundred cameras flashing in their faces and even more reporters dying to get some scoop on both of them.
Keeping her hands linked with his, she started to back away towards the door before eventually letting them go. "I promise I won't get into trouble for leaving yours so late but, we'll see each other in a couple hours anyway."
She waved them a goodbye before leaving his apartment, calling her driver to come pick her up and prayed there wouldn't be anyone outside, putting her sunglasses on and her headphones on anyway as she walked outside and hopped into the car.
As soon as she was back at her place, she was instantly shoved into the hair and makeup chair and the process of making her look camera ready began. She was starting to get nervous as things got closer to the press conference.
Getting out her phone, she took a picture of herself with her hair being worked on while also having her makeup applied and sent it to Theo with the caption; if I don't look like Princess Fiona after this, I'm not going.
Even though Theo had only just met Saskia, he was starting to develop feelings for her. He didn't care that all of this was fake, he just liked being with someone who understood how exhausting being in the music industry was.
They would always roll their eyes at the people who would say they wanted to be famous. Being in the public eye was something that Theo never wanted or was trying to obtain. The constant speculation surrounding his private life was something he was never going to get used to, no matter how hard he tried to.
"Yeah, there will definitely be some fans from both sides that will get angry when our relationship gets announced," Theo said as he let out a small sigh. They hated that the nice bubble they were currently in with Saskia was going to get popped once their teams made the announcement.
As Saskia kissed back, Theo felt butterflies in his stomach. He felt right being in the other's arms and that was a feeling which he had never experienced before. "I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else either," they replied as they pulled away from the other with a big smile plastered on their face. "I should let you go... I don't want you getting in trouble for being late or something."
#[ replies ]#theonlytwoalive#[ love in front of the cameras verse ]#[ never let me down again; queued ]
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Also an add on I WILL NOT be writing for Harry Potter Characters anymore!!!
All my previous fics will still remain up for those who wish to read them but I shall not continue writing for them.
I’m not part of the fandom anymore, Haven’t been for quite a while, I have ”grown” into my other interests and will be focussing on things that make me happy and that I enjoy doing.
again moots for spreading the words love yous 🫶🫶
@writing-wh0re @skarlettmikaelson @wizardwheezes @fancy-pantaloons @griffxnnage @dracofknmalfoy
#saskia talks#george weasley#fred weasley#george weasley fanfiction#fred weasley fanfiction#harry potter fandom#leaving fandom#goodbye
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Jagged Jimmy 208
In case the text is too hard to read, here's the transcript: "Saskia's telekinetic prowess is something to behold. I think Jimmy might be jealous." "Two fingers replaced, covered in mending talismans. You gotta take better care of yourself, Jimmy. Even you aren't invincible." (mending talismans speed up the healing process significantly. don't ask how they're made though, you don't wanna know.... and yeah, Jimmy has some replaced body parts. which explains why Jag patching him up is not that a big deal to him, he's used to procedures like that.) "Dimitri's a far too gifted cook. I can kiss my figure goodbye at this rate!" (Christmas isn't a thing because Christianity doesn't technically exist in this universe. instead they celebrate the "death" of the old year, "birth" of the new year. they do also hang decorations on trees, a ritual supposed to coax spring back into the world.) "Our new arrival Nikki, two weeks after he moved into HQ."
My Socials/Galleries - See new art early on Patreon! - Leave a tip via Ko-Fi!
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The Weight of the Inside of the Body
Saskia Hamilton, 1967–2023
Last week was Pongo Poetry Project's annual gala/fundraiser, Speaking Volumes, and during the event the guest poets—Arianne True, Shin Yu Pai, and Quenton Baker—were asked to name someone who was influential to their writing and their interest in poetry.
As the poets talked, I thought about Saskia Hamilton, who died this past summer at only 56. What a terrible loss.
It's both a blessing and a curse to be less extremely online than I once was.* On the one hand, social media can be corrosive; on the other hand, social media can help one stay on top of the news. I only heard about Saskia's death a few weeks ago, when I logged into Instagram for the first time in ages (somehow I'd missed the Times obit). I was, to put it mildly, super bummed.
Saskia was the first writing teacher I really looked up to—I took a workshop with her when she was at Kenyon between 2000–2001—and though we fell out of regular touch, I eagerly read her books as soon they were published.
In addition to being a talented poet and editor, Saskia was, more importantly when I was 20/21 years old, cool: she invited our workshop to her apartment in Mt. Vernon one night, and I drank a Grolsch; she grew up with Guy Picciotto of Fugazi (my favorite band!!!) & so knew the band well & we drove from Gambier to Carnegie Mellon to see them play one Saturday morning (something I've written about previously); when she taught at Kenyon she tended to wear lots of black, effortlessly; and when I was applying to grad school, she told me to stay in NYC and not decamp for Minnesota, advice I ignored. Maybe I shouldn't have?
The older I get, the more of my heroes I say goodbye to. The good news, amen, I suppose, is that their work remains, and with it some small part of them. Here's her poem "Zwijgen," from Corridor:
I slept before a wall of books and they calmed everything in the room, even their contents, even me, woken by the cold and thrill, and still they said, like the Dutch verb for falling silent that English has no accommodation for in the attics and rafters of its intimacies.
...
*Thanks to Musk & Zuckerberg—erstwhile combatants—for driving me from their respective websites.
Title taken from Saskia's poem of the same name, which opens her collection Divide These.
Header image of Fugazi, mainly Ian MacKaye here, playing "Waiting Room" during the CMU show. Here's the full (short) video from which the header screencap is taken:
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SHOOT - DAY 2
Day two was the day we were shooting in the hardware store. We had moved the kit to Gus's flat after shooting the day before, as Gus lives just a block away from the hardware store. I parked the car nearby and held back tears at how much it costs to park in Morningside. I went to Gus's to make sure everyone knew what they were doing and too great Liam Hughes, the actor who was playing Gary. Once everyone knew what they were doing me and Saskia went down to the hardware store to meet the manager and discuss the day. They were very accomadating. They showed us a back room we could use to store kit and use as a kind of green room in between takes. The store was split into two rooms, both of which had a till in, and they said they could let us film in there as long as we periodically let customers in to grab what they needed. This had been decided before but I was glad to hear it again on the day as I had an irrational fear they were going to decide they needed that room fully operational. As everyone was moving down and getting set up, I caught up with Lev and David to go over the day. This is when Lev told me that they had a bit of neck pain from the day before. This became my immediate priority to fix, as it was incredibly crucial to me as a director that my cast (or crew for that matter) do not get hurt in anyway for the film. I spoke to Saskia and Lili about ways to fix it, and we concluded that there was just too much standing around the day before and that today anytime we werent certain we were going for a take we would get Lev out the suit. I insistently checked on Lev throughout the day to make sure they were ok, too the point they were getting annoyed at me always asking. Still, rather have a pestered actor than an injured actor. Regarding shooting, we were pretty on time throughout the day. I was worried at how much we were going to get interupted by customers and how this would disturb the flow, but in reality, it really wasnt a problem. There was a few times we would have to hold before a take to let a wee old lady come in with one of the clerks to buy some washing up pods (thats an example it wasnt the same lady every time that would be weird) but generally, the day flowed really well. At the end of the day, we were ahead a little bit and me and gus were able to look around and find some extra shots. We got this really cool one where the shot started on a mirror above the door and then we tilted down to Mr balloonhead man walking in and UGH it was so cool but when I did DIT later that night I realised India could be seen in the mirror of every take. God dammit India. The day wasnt without issues, as about half way through the day, our sound mixer decided to stop working. We had been given a MixPre10 as we wanted to double boom on the last day but unfortunately the one we were given was faulty. I believe it was an issue with the batteries, and it had to be plugged into a socket. This was fine for today, but wouldnt do for the next two days which were Exterior. After we wrapped, I said goodbye to our actors and had crew take the kit up to Gus's flat. Saskia, Gaby and I took the MixPre to the kit store at Craiglockhart to pick up a new one. They unfortunately could not give us another MixPre10, but they had an older sound mixer that would allow us to have two booms on the last day. After this we drove back to Gus's to pick up the kit and take it back to my flat, where we were going to be starting tomorrow. On a high of how well the day went, I did not notice the 'NO LOADING 1630-1830' sign and even though we finished loading at 1641, a sneaky parking attendant had managed to give me a 50quid fine!! (im still confused where they came from because we were constantly loading the car like im confused when they got it on my windshield without me seeing, kind of freaky). Not even a fine could ruin my mood* after how the day went though, and I took the kit home ready for tomorrow.
*it did infact ruin my mood when I had to pay the ticket later that week.
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Continued from here with @ebbiemunson.
Saskia crossed her arms and legs as she sat on the wooden table, a ghost of a smile coming across her lips as she watched Eddie. She wasn't ready to say goodbye, but she knew all good things must come to an end. She couldn't even admit to him that she'd miss him, it was far to sappy for her to say even if it was true.
"As long as you don't forget the little people when you're touring the world; you know where to find me," she shrugged. "We might be made to change, but I wholeheartedly think I was made to traumatise parents," she laughed.
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Saskia nodded a goodbye into the phone before hanging up. "Alright, lovebug, momma's all yours." She got up off the couch and picked Isabelle up, starting to get her milk ready. If she was being honest, she loved the mundaneness of it all. Before having a kid; she had no real routine and only thought about herself but after having Isabelle, she had to stop being selfish and actually step up. Unlike Isabelle's father.
Truth be told, she didn't even really remember him. He was a drunken one night stand she had in Iowa she had and when she tried to tell him she was pregnant, he bailed. Booked her a one way ticket back to Hawkins and never even said goodbye.
A couple of days later, Saskia was frantically ran around her apartment, trying to get ready for work while also looking after Isabelle. She'd been told earlier that her usual babysitter had bailed, she wasn't even sure who to call until she looked at the corkboard with Eddie's number and address on it. Picking up the phone, she pressed his number in. "Eddie? It's Sas, listen I'm sorry this is late but could you look after Isabelle for a few hours while I go to work? I promise I'll pay you. I just don't know who else to call."
Eddie smiled to himself as he listened to her, it felt nice having someone just, talk to him like a normal person instead of fangirling. "Honestly it wouldn't be a problem, if you need anything don't be afraid to ask, I don't have much to do anyway." He hadn't realised it, but as he spoke to her he had began playing with the strands of curls that had escaped his messy bun. "I'm always available, but yeah see to your daughter, I'll catch you later Sas."
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if da4 or andromeda 2s interface on pc will be just as much of a mess as me:a’s is i will-
#i cant minimize this game without going into the options and set it to full screen again EVERY TIME this is an offence of the highest order#yesterday i got an achievement and the origin overlay is so wrecked atm that it jumps to desktop and minimizes the game when you get one lma#i cant set it to borderless mode either because then nvidia screenshots my desktop 😭#and dont even get me started on all buttons in the game menu having some keyboard aquivalent that i cannot turn off-#i have a mouse FUC#AND THERE IS NO QUICK SAVE#saskia plays mea#(AGAIN i feel like i gotta defend myself here i like mea BUT)#(i still cry at the fact that people where mad at bad facial animations when the real crime was and still is the piss poor pc port)#😐😐😐#ok goodbye ill take a deep breath now and try to kiss reyes <3
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