#goodbye apartment

[thebramblewood]

The Vampirification of Helena Zhao

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[bloodyrobyn]

Moved back

[albert-harebrayne]

you wouldn't download a limited edition ace attorney christmas sweater from 2016

pattern adapted from this post by @acerunaway from original design by nina matsumoto/space coyote :))

cross stitch pattern + fcjson here bc i don't gatekeep + other notes under the read more!

for 3852 in the pattern, i actually used some of my light effects threads, E3852, for that sparkly feel. i couldn't find a reliable source on what the closest non-light effect equivalent is, and flosscross wouldn't let me put in light effects, so i just left it as 3852.

i stitched this with 10 count aida and 4 strands. if you want to make this on a sweatshirt, make your own measurements accordingly & make sure it fits and has good coverage.

i stitched this similarly to the original sweatshirt in that the navy background fills in the dark areas on the design itself (like maya and nick’s hair and nick’s suit) so you don’t have to stitch them. if you want a lighter color sweatshirt, keep this in mind & modify the design accordingly

i played with the colors a bit from the original design (fun fact edgeworth’s suit is the closest dmc thread color i could find to b00b69, and maya’s outfit is also modified from a funny hex code but i don’t remember which one). if you want to make changes, you can go to flosscross.com, import the fcjson file in the google drive folder, and make whatever modifications you want <3

please do not sell this pattern for money or put it on mass-produced merch as the design is not originally mine or acerunaway’s! on that note i encourage you to support the original artist nina matsumoto/space coyote; she has a ton of cool video game merch (including ace attorney) available through fangamer. i myself have the ace attorney desk mat on my desk at work and have gotten a lot of compliments on it from my coworkers

[creativesparkz]

stop yapping bro

[smallidarityfan]

AHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MY BOYS!!!! 🥹🥹🥹

[shallowseeker]

hello there!! i’ve been searching for posts about how dean’s “i need you” in goodbye stranger feels more significant (i guess is the word?) than the original “i love you” and i was wondering what your thoughts on it were :)

I think a poet might be able to answer your ask better, so I invite my dashfam to point me to good linguistic posts.

///

As for me, I'm not sure I actually consider one line more meaningful than the other, and I'm not convinced Cas would have understood "I love you" at this point in his life (mentally wounded, brainwashed, thrown around by Heaven) any better than an "I need you."

I think it's highly likely that Cas wasn't actually lying when he said he didn't know what broke the connection in the crypt. That perhaps he couldn't parse his own feelings, especially with his then-fresh mental wounds. (I have this frankly incoherent rambling about how the inability to translate the angel tablet in season 8 is in parallel to how Cas can't read his own emotions/heart. I'll rewrite it to make it make more sense... someday.)

On the other hand, unlike Cas, I think Dean's I love you / I need you line does imply that Dean has worked through his own turbulent confusion with "why Cas feels different than everyone else." We see the line of questioning introduced in The Born-Again Identity, with Dean pondering aloud why he can't shake this and insisting that "of course (the reason) matters!" Dean realized back then that Cas was different. It was charged with... something.

Then, we see such jilted behavior from Dean in the episodes after this... both with Naomi's "I only wish he felt the same way," and Dean's silent treatment towards Cas in the bunker. It seems to me that Dean knows his own heart and is frustrated trying to "read" Cas's intentions, especially with how Heaven keeps wounding Cas over and over, rendering Cas psychologically unable to find his own footing (which is why Cas flees; all that brainwashing is too topsy-turvey for him to get his own bearings and directions sorted out).

///

But I think what interests me most about this season with regards to "I need you," is in the continued motif of Dean's outstretched hand.

We first see Dean's outstretched hand introduced in Purgatory, and it is THE through-line for much of the season. Even the scenes and relationships that aren't about Cas... are about Cas. When Cas throws Dean's hand away, Dean is floored—wounded to the point of rewriting his own memory. After he learns the truth, he's left wondering if he's misunderstood everything that was growing between him and Cas.

But Dean's "I need you / I love you" speaks to his consistently reaching out to Cas anyway, despite all the odds and despite Cas's numerous rejections. Dean just keeps reaching for Cas. He can't help it! (Dean is holding out hope that they do want each other, once the interference and obstacles are removed, that maybe they'll see that in each other... if they just get the chance.)

The motif of hands is so fascinating in season 8, because it's echoed in other relationships, too. For example, when Sam loses faith in himself, he injures his own hand, which Dean bandages in an echo of Church as "the small family supporting each other," against a gorgeous background of the Church as "the corporate megapower," with the angels falling. (It's a beautiful contrast of the different human and angel families.)

There's also how Cas cuts off the hand of (romantic) love, The Cupid, and how the Cupid willingly lets it happen. She extends her hand and lets Cas cut if off, the same way Dean was extending his hand to Cas in the crypt, thinking "I love you. I forgive you," and saying "I need you. We're family."

///Note: It's also like Theee Mixtape: (Love) is a gift. You keep those.

Reaching out is about love, acceptance, and connection. While Dean is doing all this reaching, Cas spends the season being psychologically wounded and threatened by Heaven, running for safety, and then--cutting out hearts and cutting off hands.

///

Yes, so when I look at the Crypt scene, and I see Cas twist and break Dean's arms and Dean is still REACHING... that is what fascinates me the most.

In this season, Dean is trying to help Cas at his own expense, even though Dean wants them to be together, he's helping Cas "fix Heaven," even though Heaven is going to take Cas away from Dean.

//

^ Here they sit, no longer in the kitchen-of-intimacy but in the bar-of-friendship, lamenting their inability to be in a romantic relationship together.

Dean knows he's in love with Cas at this point, I think, and while he suspected Cas had feelings for him, Dean withdraws, trying to respect Cas's space and support him in his chosen path of permanent, painful separation. (Dean knows how it is, of course, to support your family at the expense of your own personal happiness.)

Little does Dean know, that Cas's main motivation for fixing Heaven is to protect his human family. Metatron echoes it, and in The Great Escapist Naomi underlines to Cas that Heaven would not hesitate hurt his human loved ones.

METATRON: At the very least, it would st – [dog barking in distance, another warning] It would stop the fighting up there from spilling out down here, which will happen. It always does.

(In her pursuit of Cas, Naomi destroys the humans in the family diner in The Great Escapist.)

///

But by the time Cas is actually ready to take Dean's hand, Gadreel engineers a reversal of the outstretched hand, kicking Cas out of the bunker, in a parallel to Dean from season 8, Cas is the one left thinking that he's misunderstood everything.

This is underlined by his soliloquy to the baby. In an episode where it's shown that "medic angels" react to emotional pain as readily as physical, we're left to wonder: is this how angels were trained to deaden their emotions in the first place?

No wonder they might not recognize what they're feeling. No wonder Cas has struggled to connect to his own emotions whether he's human or angel. Maybe it takes "becoming closer to human" for angels to connect with that deadened part of their hearts/minds.

CASTIEL (to the baby): Nobody told you. Nobody explained. You're just … shoved out kicking and screaming into this human life, without any idea why any of it feels the way it feels, or why this confusion, which feels like it's … a hair's breadth (The baby stops crying.) from terror or pain. You know, just when you think you do understand, it'll turn out you're wrong. You didn't understand anything at all. Guess that's just how it is when you're new at this. You know, it wasn't that long ago when all I'd need to do to ease your pain was touch you.

I think it's so fascinating that Dean and Cas are framed as (romantically) reaching for each other over and over,. Not to mention, with Dean wearing "the handprint" on his shoulder, because Dean's a character with his heart obviously on his sleeve... if you dare to REALLY look at him anyway (as Dean invited Mary to do, to see him).

In Dean and Cas's fights, they tend to break each others' arms/hands, and yet... they continue to reach for each other... in parallel.

x - x - x - x - x - x - x

///

ADDITION: That family needs each other is a theme that is used over and over in this series. We are shown loss and love in almost every form (familial, friendship, etc. Ex: The Chuck and Amara forgiveness speech.)

But it's the motifs around the Dean-Cas one in particular that lends an intensely romantic context that imho sets it apart from the other instances.

[walking-circles]

i cant tell things apart ! i dont know where they start !

[n0heart]

it's not a nude nor kinky content but i wanna share this pic because My Boy took it today while we were at central park and it's special to me 🥰

[stgosupremacy]

okay so even though the Ash and Goh goodbye was ages ago, i still wanted to say something about it.

So, basically, looking back at all the goodbyes Ash has had in the past with other friends, I just noticed that they seem to be the one thanking him, and saying the kind of stuff along the lines of 'I'm glad i met you', in different ways I guess. (Like Lillie literally just says it, or Serena...yeah did that 👀) as shown...

Long story short, when it's time for Ash and Goh to say goodbye, i love how bittersweet it is and how they both have that fond look on their faces too, like neither of them really want to end their journey. This isn't even the point I'm trying to make rn but it's so cute kjhadzjs

ANYWAY (look at their smiles oh my god i cant) We find that in the end ASH is the one who suddenly announces to Goh, first as well, 'I'm glad i met you.' and he even goes on to say 'Thank you' after that as well.

I honestly thought that was so sweet, bc especially after Ash has travelled to so many regions he's used to being the one to be thanked by other people and it just kind of shows how much important Goh is to him. Even Goh was surprised and the bit where he said he might cry made me want to cry too 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

OK even though i wanted to maybe have a more better goodbye (maybe i'll talk about that in a later post) this was a very sweet moment that my attention latched onto <33

I MISS THEM SO MUCH BUT I HOPE WE SEE THEM AGAIN

The future is in the palm of their hands after all <3

Also terrible quality picture I'm sorry <33

[strawbebbiesart]

june/ july / august 💌🥪🦢

[spiralhigh]

this is like a year old and super out of character bc i only drew it to blow off steam but i still like how it came out so

[bigdolldoeeyesgirl]

any Solya fans here?

How is she not famous yet omfg her music is so fire

[serickswrites]

You're Allowed to Fall Apart

Warnings: referenced captivity, referenced restraints, referenced torture, referenced failed rescue, gun, gunshot, wounds, blood, bleeding out, choking, mcd, grief, hurt/no comfort

Caretaker sat in the pew closest to the pulpit, relishing in the twilight darkness of the church. No one could see their face. No one could see their tears here. No one could see their shame. No one could see their grief. And the guilt they deserved.

They had blood on their hands. It was all their fault they were sitting here. They had no one to blame but themself. And yet, they couldn't bring themself to say the words. Not yet.

"Ah, Caretaker," the priest said as he entered the nave.

"Father," Caretaker whispered, unable to lift their head. They came here to repent, to beg for forgiveness, but they wanted to do it in solace. This was between them and God. And.....Whumpee.

The priest stopped and sat in the pew next to Caretaker. "Everything is nearly ready for the service tomorrow," he said somberly. "I think it's going to be a very beautiful service, Caretaker."

Caretaker nodded, unable to speak past the lump in their throat. It had been ever present, but at the mention of the pending service tomorrow, it grew. Grew to the point that they couldn't speak. Because the thought of saying goodbye to the one person they had failed the most was too much.

The priest gingerly put his hand on Caretaker's back. "You're allowed to fall apart, Caretaker. You don't have to be strong any more. Please, allow me to be the shoulder for you to lean on."

Caretaker squeezed their eyes shut against the tears. They very much wanted to lean on someon'es shoulder. But they didn't deserve it. Images danced behind their eyelids, a permanent reminder of why they deserved to repent forever.

Caretaker's desperate search for Whumpee had felt long, though in hindsight, Caretaker realized it had only been a few days. They knew Whumper had kidnapped Whumpee and was likely torturing them every minute they remained unfound. Caretaker had to find them. Whumper had taken Whumpee to hurt Caretaker. Caretaker couldn't let Whumpee get hurt in their place.

And so they searched. And searched. And searched until at last they found Whumper's hideaway. Found Whumper's hideaway and Whumpee tied up in the basement. Whumpee was alive and relieved to see Caretaker. Though they were all the worse for wear, they were alive. That was all that mattered.

What Caretaker had failed to take into account was that Whumpee would be too weak to escape quickly. And that proved to be a fatal mistake. Whumper returned mid rescue, gun aimed at Whumpee. Caretaker hadn't reacted quickly enough. The bullet ripped through Whumpee's chest, sending them sprawling. Whumper's gleeful cackles were quiet compared to the awful choking sound Whumpee made as they tried to breathe through the blood filling their lungs and throat.

"No, no, you can't leave me. Whumpee, you have to stay. You have to stay with me. No! Please, Whumpee," Caretaker repeated over and over as they tried to staunch the flow of blood from the bullet wound in Whumpee's chest. But no matter how much Caretaker begged, how much Caretaker pressed on the wound, it wasn't enough. Whumpee's choking slowly faded into silence as their eyes grew glassy and they stilled beneath Caretaker.

That had been a little over a week ago and Caretaker hadn't known a moment of peace since. They didn't deserve it. It was all their fault. "Caretaker," the priest finally said, breaking the silence and Caretaker's horrible memories, "I won't pressure you. But just know that I am here if you ever need me."

Caretaker nodded, unable to fight the tears any longer. They waited until the priest left before they began to sob loudly. "I am so sorry, Whumpee," they said to the empty church. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve anything but pain. But I...I can't live through this pain. I can't live through saying goodbye to you. It was supposed to be me. Not you. I am so sorry."

In the twilight dark of the church, Caretaker sobbed. Though they were completely alone, the quiet dark was a comforting presence. Perhaps someone, or something, heard their prayers and offered some peace, even if for a moment.

Tags: @mousepaw @jumpywhumpywriter @knightinbatteredarmor @hufflepuffwritingstuff2 @anightmarishwhump

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @celestialsoyeon @st0rmm @ay5ksal @pedro-pedro-pedro-pedro-pe

@pepeniascat @artisticdemon

[wltsquareih]

Having to say goodbye ~

(The music I was listening kinda sent me into autopilot???)

[elysianymph]

currently obsessed with the idea that james and lily so obviously flirted with regulus and he was just sitting there like "wow, my brother's friends are so kind" while his head is in lily's lap and she's braiding his hair and his feet are in james' lap and james is messaging his legs

[attractthecrows]

yeah yeah trick weekes says whatever about it not making sense that solas couldnt sneak off THEY FAILED TO CONSIDER that maybe he just is ass at it when he gets invested. much like. the whole fucking rest of the romance where he COMPLETELY fails to resist until the breakup.

anyway.

im personally of the opinion that he's more liable to slip up - fail at sneaking, accidentally reveal details, contradict himself - when he actually makes bonds with people. which is why after trespasser he goes and lives alone in the lighthouse for ten years but i digress.

and i think "that", the bonds tripping him up, should be reflected in his exit from the Inquisition. you're enemies or neutral, yeah he just vanishes. there's nothing to keep him there, nothing to interfere with his plans and intentions. you're (ex)lovers? i think he still would pull back purposefully and probably vanish, but there would be definite hesitation. he would have to force himself to do so, because fuck, he wants to stay. he wants to be close to you. but he also, crucially, knows that you have a dangerous sway over him, so he MUST disengage. if you're friends, it takes him some effort. because he does like you, he doesn't want to do what he has to, it's been so long since he had people who were friends to him, and he doesn't have to force himself away because he's in too deep. he knows you would worry about him. he might not be willing to give anyone the truth - but he would owe you a goodbye, at the very least. especially if you weren't the type to try to convince him to stay.