#and also two (2) of my friends moved apartments and everyone went on vacation at different times

[strawbebbiesart]

june/ july / august 💌🥪🦢

[myloveforhergoeson]

ash's march 2024 reading round up

find all the books and fics i read this month under the cut with a link to the synopsis and my reviews/ratings attached :)

this is just for fun! i'm not a professional, i just like to read <3

booklist!

The Mistake by Elle Kennedy (18+)

• review: good book, fun read! nothing extraordinary but entertaining nonetheless, but i did struggle because the two main characters share the names of a few of my best friends... weird. anyway, i'm such a sucker for a second-chance romance, as logan and grace have in this novel after they're on the path to a relationship, but logan can't seem to get over the girl his best friend is dating... after a summer apart, both of them return to college and find themselves getting mixed up in each others business, which allows for time to reevaluate and find out together just what went wrong! love seeing a man grovel after he makes a mistake lol. but, again, it was a fun read, nothing super special or groundbreaking and i think elle kennedy has some internalized misogyny she needs to work out which comes through a bit in her writing sometimes. i don't think women in romance novels should always be put through terrible situations to culminate in a moment of love-clarity, but that's just me. that scene told me more about logan's character than grace's, which was nice to see him stand up for her and her friend, but still. hurt to read a bit. i am also slightly worried for graces' future as a therapist. she has absolutely no empathy when logan was opening up about his struggles with his father's alcoholism - to her credit, he wasn't telling her everything, not that he needs to, but still... regardless, i thought these two were cute. even after he blew her off big time in the beginning, he worked to prove he made a mistake and actively worked to better himself. i thought graces' list of things he needed to do to win her over was adorable - i wish there was more time spent on seeing him complete these tasks! the ramona (grace's kind of best friend) side plot was interesting but i was very caught off guard with how it was resolved... but! still enjoyed this book nonetheless~

• tw: depictions and scenes around alcoholism in a side character, side character held at party against her will

• rating: 3/5 boxes of blonde hair dye it must've taken grace to dye her hair

2. Happy Place by Emily Henry (18+ish)

• review: oh my god oh my god oh my GOD!!!!!!!! no book i've ever read has had such an emotional grip on me. i must've cried like five separate times while reading this book - not because it's sad, but because i found myself identifying with so many of the themes (and also because i may or may not have been going through it at the time of reading). this is a beautifully written tale about two ex-fiances, wyn and harriet, reuniting five months after their break up to join their friends on their yearly vacation to their favorite place in the world - a beach house in maine! - without telling anyone they've broke up. now, they must play the part of the once-happy couple they were in order to keep the peace and not ruin everyone's vacation. seeing how family, friendship, growing up, moving apart, grief, and not listening to one's heart affected each character absolutely gutted me in ways i was not expecting at all. like i said, i identified with so many of these themes, and the way they're all interwoven throughout the book is so masterful it literally brought me to tears. and not like silent streaks, i was sobbing at some parts. i also really loved that the book was told between two time periods: the present or "real life" and the past or "happy/dark place" so we could see the full span of wyn and harrys relationship, the connections they made with their friends, and how important each and every character is to each other. the scenes of the past felt so nostalgic, like i was there with everyone as friendships, and subsequently relationships, developed. the scenes from the present were just as comforting, even with all their real-life struggles. oh, yeah, and it was a romance novel. dubs for the second chance romance this month! anyway this one absolutely wrecked me and i cannot recommend it enough; one of my favorite books of all time! i could literally talk about it forever, but i'll stop here for now!

• rating: 5/5 times i stained the pages w my tears <3

3. Do Your Worst by Rosie Danan (18+)

• ok. lots to say about this one too but for different reasons lol. overall, i love the concept of this book. an archaeologist (clark) attempting to hit his big break after a rough patch, a curse breaker (riley) hired at the same site because the castle they're excavating has not let anyone discover much about it for hundreds of years, scottish folklore, romance... on paper this is a perfect book for someone like me, who loves both archaeology and the supernatural. however. i do not think that the concept of enemies to lovers really works in modern settings. i really think i've only enjoyed that trope in fantasy settings, but that's just me. like, you're telling me she straight up threatens him with a knife in the first 30 pages and he didn't immediately call the cops on her? he tries to humiliate her not even two chapters later? she breaks into his camper a chapter later? like yall... this isn't even enemies to lovers these guys just straight up hate each other. besides that, i thought the concept was fun. the curse placed upon the castle hundreds of years ago was on a romeo-and-juliet type couple and ended up affecting clark and riley in the same way, hence the enemies to lovers aspect. i thought the castle pushing them to be together to make up for what happened in the past was really cute! that being said the book specifically called out the enemies to lovers trope by name like eight separate times. it made me want to scream! we know that's whats going on, no need to repeat it! and i love a good modern reference, but im not sure four separate criminal minds shout outs were necessary. i love matthew gray gubler too but i do not need that to be randomly thrown in for no apparent reason. the book was really slow to start, i don't think i was really interested until about halfway through. also, i'll say it. some people really aren't meant to be together and i think those people are riley and clark. physical chemistry does not equal emotional chemistry and his confession really just came out of nowhere - i was so jarred. overall, weak characters, okay cringe millennial writing, and very interesting, detailed, and well thought out plot. there were some really great parts that made me blush or laugh out loud!

• 2.5/5 times clark made a comment no self respecting archaeologist would ever make...

fic list!

learning to love by autisticbarbie (3k)

• fandom: big time rush (tv)

• pairing: james diamond/original male character

• yall... such a cute one shot. literally had me giggling and kicking my feet and shit while reading. very well written too; i was so invested!!

this was the only fic i finished this month because i typically go for longer stories! (sorry to the two Inuyasha one shots i read and forgot to bookmark...)

but, i just started an incredibly long dr who/ofc fic called lost in time by whovianeverlark17 on wattpad and, as always, i'm reading icegirl2772's james diamond/ofc story take a shot in the dark on ao3! i'm not at the point where i've read enough of the first to recommend, but if you're a fan of btrtv fics take a shot in the dark is definitely for you!!!!!!! i love you oc fics i love you!

[backonmybullship]

And then I got mad at her because I was like so what did I do to you to deserve this and I probably ruined it but fuck her I've been her life and been so loyal for longer than anyone who's not her family not to be a cunt. Like I've been nothing but loyal since we were like six everyone has coming on and despite her being a completely opposite human who ended up resembling the kind of kids that would bully us growing up, I never gave up on her and she just started the humor me which is fine like yeah sure drift apart but blocking me was absolutely out of nowhere.

She's become a stereotypical skinny blonde runner she talks like a valley girl and puts on too much makeup and went to school for psychology. And for some reason since I am the 100% opposite of all of that I stuvk by her because I knew who she truly was.

But then I guess she was anxious our entire childhood so now she's a therapist for anxious people which is ironic, because what she did to me is the kind of shit that people go to therapy for. People used to bully the fuck out of her growing up and I defended the fuck out of her to them. So maybe who she was until very recently was just an anxious false sense of herself. Even though I truly believe that people are their most authentic selves as children because children are just incredibly honest about everything.

Our families would go on vacation together she was pretty much like my sister I was at her house non-stop and she was at my house non-stop We lived two houses from each other and of our group of four girl best friends, we were the only two in the same grade. We were partners on projects we did everything together even in high school we hung out a lot even though we started getting in different circles and having different friends and activities.

3 years ago I moved out of my hometown and state to Los Angeles and she came with me to get my first tattoo which was the Chicago flag.

She literally wished me a happy birthday like 2 months ago like of her own volition like she texted me first. Girl what the fuck is wrong with you I would be so concerned if my therapist did that to their friend.

Play texted her but I'm not going to call her to confirm that she has blocked me on text too because I'm over it.

I wouldn't much rather you ghost me starting in eighth grade When we started to have more differences, than when we are 30.

She's just not going to have more of a loyal friend than me. I mean she's got sorority sisters whatever but. I celebrated all of her achievements and made sure to ask about how she was doing and now it makes me feel like a complete dumbass for trying to maintain a relationship. If you don't want it use your words. Like when 3-year-olds start crying, adults tell them to use their words. We shouldn't have to be telling adults this.

Do you know how much I would love to have someone make an effort to be my friend for 23 years straight despite our ups and downs and physical distances and changes in our lives? I would kill for that shit. And if I felt us drifting apart or was it really interested in being friends anymore, I wouldn't fucking block them. Because I'm not a cunt.

Because a lot of my core memories are with her. She gave me a corporate speak answer about how she doesn't have the energy to answer (which is weird because she goes out to dinner with her college friends on the daily) or doesn't remember something from our childhood or sending her something that reminds me of her. That's a fucking love language. And it wasn't even that often dude. But our core memories as children are intrinsically permanently related to one another or at least mine are to her. Also if you don't remember it just say you don't remember it dude. I don't know shit about psychology but she has a fucking masters in it. I included you in my life so much and I could only hope that someone would ever want to include me in their life the way I had her in mine.

It's kind of like losing a sibling but they're right there, they just don't want you.

[inslo]

Hey Friends and Family,

This year has been pretty good, however bad for the wallet.  I spent a lot of money on my house this year, way more than planned.  I had a good time meeting new friends and having new adventures as well as spending time with old friends.

I had so much work done on the house this year, I had glass block windows put in in my basement to replace the rotting wood ones.  I had two windows and two doors replaced that lead from the main part of the house into my 400sq ft three-seasons room.  I had electrical work done to maximize the use of my backup generator during a power outage.  I also had a new furnace installed and my ducts cleaned.  In addition, there were two unplanned major expenses I encountered this year.  The first was a dispute with a hoarding neighbor and storage of their junk which in the end cost me $2300 to put up 32-feet of fence so I no longer have to look at their junk (which the city says is okay where it is)…out of the brand new windows and doors I had installed in the back of my house.  The second just occurred in the last week and I’m still waiting on a bill, which I expect will be $1500+.   The pressure tank on my well system failed the day after Thanksgiving.  The old one was original to the house and was 65 years old. Finally, I regraded the soil on the west half of the north side of my house, which involved moving about +2,000lbs of stone and soil.  The soil I used on that project was bad soil form where I wanted to plant a garden, thus I filled in my garden with fresh top soil and had my first good crop of cucumbers and mini pumpkins since my move to the new house in August 2020.   I spent much of my vacation time from work this year dealing with all of this.  Despite the issues with the house and the neighbor behind me, I am still loving living where I am. 

On the other hand, I had a very exciting new adventure this year when I attended for the first time an adult summer camp.  The first camp I went to was June 29 – July 2.  There were so many fun activities. Yoga, volleyball, a scavenger hunt, Human Battleship, knife and axe throwing, trivia, meditation, bingo, archery and an 80’s themed dance party were just some of the fun activities I did.  It took place at a kid’s camp.  In summary, it was like a kid’s camp, but for adults.  One of my concerns going in for my first camp was alcohol consumption.  There is beer available at all times (and I dislike beer), and a small selection of cocktails in the evening.  I’m not much of a drinker, but knowing the local drinking culture, I was concerned it was just a big drinking fest…but it wasn’t.  Everyone was very responsible.  I only had two glasses of wine during the entire duration of camp and fit right in, and I even met a few people that didn’t even like the taste of alcohol and had nothing the whole time.  Anyways, there were 125+ people in attendance, it was about 80% female, 20% male.  It was a range of ages from about 25 through about 65 or so.  The median age was around 40.  I ended up spending most of my time at the first camp with a group of people who were in their late 20’s early 30’s.  It cost me $500 for the camp, EVERYTHING included, food, lodging, drinks, and all activities.   On the very last day, I woke up in my bunk at about 6:30am, I teared up in sadness because I knew camp was ending and I didn’t want to go home and leave behind all the wonderful new friends I made and the fun times.  In the end, I ended up going a second time Sept 28- Oct 1 and I have already signed up for camp next summer.   Summer Camp is THE highlight of the year for me. 

My dad had a busy year this year as well.  In May he moved from his apartment to a senior living community.  He was feeling a bit lonely at the apartment, and the Senior living community has tons of activities.  I literally have to schedule time with dad now as he’s the social butterfly.  He sort of complains that it takes him more than 30-minutes just to get his mail because he always runs into someone he ends up having a conversation with. 

Relationship wise, I dated someone the first half of the year, unfortunately it did not work out.  At the end of September I met Steph, and we recently became a thing.  I met her on Facebook Dating which is free.  We have a lot in common, including the fact that she’s been to Adult Summer Camp every year except this year.  She works in the media department of a hospital, and previously has been an on-air personality on a local radio station.  We’ll see where it goes. 

Work is going ok, it was quite stressful only having two of us to keep 1000+ computers going, printers, audio visual systems, and other technology.   This affected my annual October vacation in which my supervisor also needed time off for a family wedding he was attending out of state.  However, we hired a third tech about a month or so ago and he’s doing well to start off.  I also received a nice raise beyond the “cost of living” raises which have been dismal, thanks to my supervisor pushing HR on his own accord. 

Sadie is still alive and kicking, with the energy of a puppy at roughly 13-years of age.  I boarded her when I was at my first summer camp and when I went to pick her up, you would have thought I was picking up a 2-year old dog.  The staff had to help me wrangle the dog up so I could get her collar and leash on.  She went on a couple of five mile hikes with me this year too.  However she is starting to show her age in other ways, she no longer jumps up onto her table (after she fell off of it a couple of times) to look out the front window and her legs sometimes quiver a little bit. 

I hope you and your family have the brightest and warmest Christmas and a joyous happy new year!

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Secret’s Out

Father of Mine – Part 1 and Part 2

Bruce was looking at his emails when Y/N arrived at the table.

She was breathing heavily and her hair was a bit messy, just further proving she had rushed to get there.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she huffed embarrassingly. “My shoot ran over and every one was moving so slowly.”

Bruce smiled. “Y/N. Relax.”

Then he stood up to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.

The two of them hadn’t seen each other in over a month. Y/N had been traveling for work constantly. And between the vigilante life and Wayne Enterprises, Bruce was running on 2 hours of sleep on the daily.

“I need a drink,” Y/N finally sighed after she got situated.

As if on cue, their waitress dropped Y/N’s favorite drink in front of her.

Y/N eyed Bruce with surprise.

He just shrugged.

Sometimes Y/N forgot how much her father noticed literally everything.

“Thank you,” she told the waitress.

“You’re overworking yourself,” Bruce said with a disapproving look.

She rolled her eyes. “Really? You’re not one to talk, Bruce.”

“You deserve a vacation. I’ll pay for it. Pick wherever you want. Bring Jason. Or some friends.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Bruce…”

It was a warning.

From the very start of their unconventional father-daughter relationship, Y/N had made it clear that she could not be bought. And Bruce spoiling her made her extremely uncomfortable. Even now, she still tried to at least split restaurant checks with him. Bruce always won those battles though.

“I’ll take a vacation when you do,” she finally countered.

That sure shut him up.

“Hey, I actually brought you something,” Y/N changed the subject as she reached for her bag.

A moment later, she lightly placed a manila folder onto the table.

Bruce’s brow furrowed as he reached for it.

As soon as he opened it, he froze.

“I had to clean out some stuff and put things into storage,” Y/N explained. “I found all my mom’s photos. I figured I could make copies of some childhood photos for you.”

Bruce’s silence made Y/N nervous.

“If you don’t want them, that’s totally fine.” She started to reach for the folder out of Bruce’s grip with awkward embarrassment. “It was stupid–”

But Bruce quickly pulled the folder closer to him and stopped her from taking the photos from him.

“Thank you,” he announced.

It made Y/N quickly sit back in her chair, caught off guard by his sincere reaction and how he’d immediately become protective of the photos.

Bruce awkwardly cleared his throat. “Thank you, Y/N.”

He repeated to make sure she understood how thankful he truly was. And Y/N suspected the throat clearing was to hide his emotions.

Now she watched as Bruce slowly went through every picture. He took in every detail with a soft smile.

These weren’t just photos. These were all of Y/N’s memories that Bruce missed, that he could never get back. And he was savoring all of them.

Then Bruce paused and was fully smiling now.

“What?” Y/N asked.

She didn’t know why all of this made her so nervous.

Bruce didn’t say anything as he lifted a photo and flipped it to show her.

It wasn’t from her childhood.

It was a black and white photo of Jason. A candid from when he had escorted her around the slums of Gotham for her most recent gallery show.

After months of thinking about it, Y/N finally had decided she wanted to frame it and hang it somewhere in her apartment. 

Y/N’s jaw dropped with embarrassment and she ripped it from his hands.

“I was developing some photos at the same time as I was making the copies. Must’ve gotten mixed up in those,” Y/N explained too quickly, unable to meet Bruce’s gaze.

It made Bruce happy to know that Y/N didn’t have the same inability to love someone and let people in like he did. It was a relief that she didn’t isolate herself from it like he had. If her mother was still alive, Bruce would thank her for it. But if Y/N’s mother were alive, he would’ve never known about Y/N in the first place.

Their entire dinner was spent with Bruce looking at the old photos. He had at least two questions for each one. Some of them Y/N didn’t remember being taken. But most of them came with stories or a loving memory.

Y/N talked for most of the meal. But that’s exactly what Bruce wanted.

Furthermore, Bruce had nothing of value to update her on. Batman business had consumed his life as of lately, and he had made a promise to never involve Y/N in any of it. And Jason seemed to be on the same page when it came to his other life as Red Hood. 

Both men seemed determined to keep her safe and away from it all. 

Two hours later, Bruce was paying the check and helping Y/N into her coat.

“I’ll give you a ride home,” he muttered as they started walking out.

Y/N had learned by now to give up on those small battles. Jason was the same way when it came to making sure she got home safely.

As they made their way to the exit, Y/N caught a few stares from other patrons who were still eating.

“Do you ever get used to it?” She asked her father in a low voice.

“Get used to what?” He asked, genuinely unaware of what she was getting at.

“People gawking at you.”

Bruce glanced around and unintentionally glared at anyone who was staring at Y/N.

“It’s good that I’m seen in public…for obvious reason,” he hinted in a quiet voice, obviously talking about needing the cover to continue his life as a masked vigilante.

Once they were outside, Alfred was already waiting at the curb with the Rolls-Royce. He greeted Y/N with a hug and a kiss to her cheek before opening the door for her and Bruce.

When they got to Y/N’s apartment building, she said her goodbyes to Alfred. And Bruce walked Y/N all the way up to her door.

Even though Y/N insisted it was overkill and she could get up the stairs on her own just fine, Bruce had seen too many terrible things in this forsaken city. He could think of thousands of things that could happen to Y/N between the car and her front door.

Once Y/N realized that Bruce’s paranoia came from experience, she stopped trying to stop his chivalry and overprotective ways. She finally understood that Bruce had seen things that would prevent her from ever sleeping again. So if walking Y/N to her door gave him a little peace of mind, she wasn’t going to take that away from him.

Y/N turned to Bruce when they reached her door. “Thanks again for dinner.”

“Of course. I’m glad we could spend some time together. Thank you again for the photos.”

Y/N didn’t realize that Bruce was about to hang every single one around Wayne Manor. 

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. “Get home safe.”

——————

Y/N woke up wrapped strong arms, her body overheating slightly.

When she had come home from dinner last night, Jason had already left for patrol.

He hadn’t woken her up when he got back home, just proving how exhausted Y/N had been these past few weeks.

But it was the continuous buzzing vibrations of her phone that woke her up. When she brightened the screen, she saw that she had dozens of text messages and three missed called from Bruce.

“What the fuck,” Y/N whispered as she started opening them.

But they were all about the same thing.

Everyone had sent her similar articles from various gossip websites or news outlets.

BRUCE WAYNE’S NEW GIRLFRIEND IS FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHER Y/F/N Y/L/N

BRUCE WAYNE’S FLAVOR OF THE WEEK

IS Y/F/N Y/L/N USING THE PRINCE OF GOTHAM TO FURTHER HER CAREER?

All of the headlines were joined with photos of Bruce and Y/N having dinner last night. Apparently other customers at the restaurant had snuck photos of Bruce greeting her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Y/N could see how it would be misinterpreted as romantic and not familial or platonic. But it still made her sick to see the photos twisted in such a way.

Then there were paparazzi photos of them getting in a car together. Of course there were none of Bruce dropping her off and them going their separate ways. That would be just too convenient for the two of them. 

Y/N’s stomach dropped with panic.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” she gasped without realizing it.

Jason immediately woke up. “What is it?”

Y/N ignored him and called Bruce.

“I’m handling it,” was how Bruce answered her call.

“Handling it? How exactly?” She challenged. “We can deny the rumors all we want. But everyone is going to keep tabs on us now, and they’re going to see us together again.”

Jason grabbed his own phone.

One of his brothers must’ve sent him a similar article because he rubbed his face in annoyance, finally understanding the situation. 

Nothing like your girlfriend being rumored to have a relationship with her father, who was also your mentor and adoptive father. 

“Y/N, it will blow over. It always does,” Bruce tried to calm her down.

“So what happens when I get photographed with Jason? Huh? They’re going to just say I’m cheating on both of you with each other or some fucked up shit like that.”

Bruce was silent, because they both knew she was right.

Y/N glanced at Jason, who was already waiting for her gaze.

She took in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Maybe we should…Maybe we should just tell the truth.”

“You’ve never wanted that, Y/N.” Bruce tried to argue.

And he was right.

Y/N was terrified of being associated with the Wayne family. People would start believing she secretly built her career off of nepotism that no one was aware of. She also didn’t want that type of attention from the media and the upperclass of Gotham.

“I don’t think we have any other choice,” Y/N finally answered.

Jason reached for thigh and gripped it, trying to offer her some sort of comfort.

“Y/N, are you sure about this?” Bruce asked slowly.

“No. Not at all. But I’d rather not have the public think I’m dating my biological father.”

“OK,” Bruce sighed. “I’ll talk to my publicist today.”

“OK.” She bit her lip before adding. “Just…tell them the whole story.”

“Y/N, if you’re worried how it will make me look, don’t.”

“But I am worried about it, Bruce. They’re going to drag you for being an absent father. And none of that is true. They’re not gonna understand.”

“I’ll call you later with an update,” he told her softly before hanging up.

Y/N tossed her phone to the foot of the bed in frustration.

Jason watched as she buried her face in her hands.

“You OK?” He asked as he rubbed her back.

“No,” she answered honestly.

“Come here.” Jason pulled her into his chest.

There was no fight from her as he cuddled her tightly.

“This is a fucking nightmare,” she groaned into his shoulder.

“I know. But maybe it’s for the best,” he tried to reason with her.

“And what happens when they catch wind that I’m dating my father’s adoptive son? Huh?”

“We’re not actually related, Y/N.”

She pulled her face back so she could glare at him. “Yeah! We know that! But you do understand that people are going to see it that way, right? Like we’re gonna look like some fucked up incestual couple to them.”

“I don’t really care,” Jason finally told her.

“You don’t care?” She scoffed.

“No,” his answer and confidence didn’t waver. “I don’t give a fuck what people say about us, Y/N. If exposing the truth means we don’t have to think twice about going to events or even just going out to dinner, then I’m all for it. I’m sick of hiding our relationship.”

Y/N blinked. She never considered that their subtle relationship bothered him in any way. She was always a strangely private person, so it felt normal to her. But clearly Jason had been wanting to be a bit more public with their relationship.

“What if this changes everything?” Y/N whispered, not meeting his eyes.

Jason smirked at that and gripped her chin, lifting it up so she would look at him. “Some paparazzi and trash tabloids aren’t going to change how I feel about you, Y/N.”

Y/N laughed lightly at that.

“Maybe we should leave Gotham for a bit,” she offered. “Bruce won’t shut up about paying for a vacation for us.”

Jason nodded. “I think that sounds like a good idea. You’ve needed a break for awhile now.”

“Well…where do you wanna go?” Y/N asked.

“Doesn’t matter to me. As long as you’re there.”

She rolled her eyes and hit Jason in the face with a pillow. “God, you really are a sap.”

Y/N appreciated Jason always being able to make her feel better and feel supported. 

But even he couldn’t stop her from wondering...

What would life be like as a Wayne?

------------------------------

Father of Mine – Bonus Content

[lovesgonnabe]

Love Is Worth It - Mini Episode I: Happy Mothers Day

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, cursing,daddy kink, fake IG Post.

Word Count: IDK Yet(Soon)

Summary: What happens when there is a surprise on the Horizon?

AN/Disclaimer: There’s only slight edits so there may be errors. Also if you haven’t noticed this series will have many time jump things referenced here may make more sense later on in the series when new episodes come out so please bear with me.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics, @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful​ if you would like to join the taglist let me know.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

May 9th, 2021

Boston was moving from chilly too warm with still more cold days than not. Boston at this time was beautiful even The Evans home was littered with flowers. The beginning of 2021 has been eventful for the Evans Family.

Chris's A Starting Point has taken off like no one had expected, doing incredible number in educating a whole generation on one of Chris’s passions politics and the world.

While Maya within the few months has launched her skincare line Lavish Lilah Skin, and has been able to open back up her dermatology offices with the slowing down of the current devastating pandemic.

This Mothers Day for the family of 3 was different but the same at the same time.

Maya's Birthday has just passed, Chris filming schedule will pick up in the Summer and for the last year Delilah has been homeschooled.

With work picking up for the couple May 9th was a beautiful day for the Evans to just relax and be together as a family.

Its 9 am and Maya was sprawled in the middle of their California King Bed as Chris and Delilah were in the downstairs getting Maya's Mothers Day Gift ready.

"Ok Lilah you've got mommy's gifts and I've got the food you ready?" Chris asked with the tray in his hand.

Delilah nodded and they headed up the steps to the master bedroom the 5 year old ran up too the room first leaving Chris in her dust.

"Mom wake up its Mommy Day" Delilah said trying to climb the large bed.

Maya began to stir awake with a smirk on her face when she heard her baby girl struggle to to get up on the bed.

Delilah hooped on the outerman at the front of the bed and climbed to her mom laying up on Chris's said of the bed.

Delilah began to play with Maya's face.

"mommy get up me and daddy have gifs" Delilah said trying to open Maya's eyes with her little fingers.

Maya breaks out into a laugh now completely awake and pulling Delilah into a big hug kissing her all over the face.

When Chris walked in his two favorite girls were both laughing their heads off the sunlight in the room glowed on their golden skin as their smiling faces brought a bright smile to his.

"Are you two having fun without me" Chris asked as he walked to Maya's side of the bed.

Chris lays the tray on the night stand, pecking Maya on the lips mumbling a sweet Happy Mothers Day against her lips as he pulls her into a deeper kiss just enjoying the taste of her sinful lips.

When they pull away Maya moves over to make room for Chris in their large bed.

Delilah and Chris handed over the gifts to Maya, it wasn't a lot just some small things a card made by Maya from her zoom arts class, a mini breakfast in bed and more flowers *like she needed anymore*.

"Sweetheart I told you that you didn't have to do anything for me for Mothers Day especially everything you have done for me recently" Maya said taking sip from her coffee mug.

Chris chuckles thinking about the last few months, and he has been what you would call a rockstar husband.

With the pandemic Chris has been home a lot more he dropped a film he planned to star in and went full throttle on ASP which kept him home a lot making him kind of a stay home dad.

Chris did everything from some cooking to cleaning to school with Delilah. Him staying home was not only for him to do ASP and spend more time with his family but to let Maya work and bring her employess back so she can get her dermotobly practice back to as close to 100% as she can during a pandemic.

Not only that Chris hosted a surprise launch party/brithday party for Maya's new skincare venture in early April that was a small get together with all there closest friends and family (that were vaccinated). Even flying her parents who they haven’t seen in a year out to see them. (who were still in town and staying out in their guest home)

The three were still sitting in bed watching cartoons.

"My love if you thought today would go by and I would not celebrate you then you are out of your mind" Chris said kissing Maya's head.

The last four months have really shown Chris how much he admires Maya because everything he has been doing is what Maya has been doing since Dede was born.

So at least for today Chris was pulling out the red carpet for love of his life, after an hour of just lazying around Chris grabbed a now napping Delilah and told maya that she need to be dressed and ready to leave the house by 1pm which was 2 hours from the current time.

When 1pm hit the Evans and the Alonsos were out of the house and all in Maya's Truck.

They drove the 3 hours to the Alonso Family Estate in Martha's Vineyard and with Maya having absolutely no idea where they were going she grew antsy because unbeknownst to everyone in the car except her mother Maya was now Pregnant with her and Chris's second child and she was afraid she was going to have an accident in the car.

Maya was about 16 weeks how she has hide being pregnant from Chris for that long is a surprise and a miracle on its own.

However she just wanted to wait until she was absolutly sure that she could carry a complete trimester before telling anyone but her mom because her and Chris have tried 5 times after Delilah and has miscarred everytime.

All that faliure takes a toll not only on your body but on your psyche and she didn’t want to keep getting Chris's hopes up to keep failing him.

Even though he has been there through it all to hold her when she cries thinking about it or pick her up from the pool of blood in the middle of the night he was there holding her hand, but the of how many more times will he be able to do this with her still creeps in the back of Maya's mind.

Her mom's reassuring smile kept her calm while Chris and Maya held hands the entire ride up as they rolled up around 5pm to the estate that had multiply cars in the driveway.

When they walked in Maya's Brothers were both there along with Chris's parents, siblings and their kids.

Chris explained to Maya that with the kids out of school they all decided to being summer vacation a bit early.

As the night went on the all talked, laughed, ate good food and enjoyed each others company as one huge blended family.

It was coming up around 7pm it was golden hour outside and Maya knew for some reason it was time to tell Chris.

As Maya walked outside closet to the horses her mom followed.

"May baby cakes its time you can't live in fear forever" handing the ultrasound she kept in her purse and walking back into the house Maya took a deep breath as she sipped on her water and looked at sun hint the vinyard in the most majestic way.

"Maya you ok your mom wanted me to come and check in on you" Chris asked walking next to Maya who bit her lip which she did whenever she was nervous.

"Babe whats wrong" Chris knew something wasn't right the her body langague was and Chris could read his wife.

Maya tightly gripped the ultrasoud and turned toward Chris looking into his ocean blue eyes made her weak at the knees but she needed to focus.

She handed him the photo

"For the last 16 weeks or so I haven't found a way to tell that we are pregant and I guess this is it I am sorry I waited so long" Maya Says.

She smirks trying to keep it light hearted and Chris Smiles not even taking enough time to really process the new information with tears in his eye picking up Maya who squeals as he spins her around.

"I hope you know I knew already” he says putting her down leaving his arms around her waist.

"What do you mean you knew" Maya asked as her eyebrows frowned as she looked up at him.

"You underestimate how well I know your body" Chris says rubbing his hands up and down the curves of her body till her reached her ass giving it a good squeeze.

"Also you definitely did not hide this ultrasound that well so when I did first have hunch you had already confirmed it to me without even knowing it" Chris said.

He gave Maya his trademark smile and kissed his wife like his life depended on it.

"why didn’t you tell me you knew" she asked breaking the sweet embrace of the two lovers.

"the same reason you didn't I know that with you even though I hate it, some times I need to just watch from the sideline before you can put me in coach, but next time please do wait this long" Chris said.

Maya eyebrow raised "who said there will be a next time you better be lucky you are even getting 2 out of me sir" she said.

Chris laughs "thats what your mouth is saying now we will see what it says later when you riding papi's cock" He said kissing her lips even harder as they fought for domanice.

They knew both of there families were inside and thats why they stopped and just stood enjoying each others company.

"lets take a picture babe for memories" Chris said.

They pulled apart and Maya laughed .

"Chris look at you trying to take flicks for the gram" Maya said posing next to her favorite horse.

Chris took the picture and put it on his instagram along with a picture of Maya when she was pregnant with Delilah.

Chris laughed grapped her hand and they walked inside and told everyone the good news.

This will definaly be a Mothers Day they would never forget!

[masonscig]

bittersweet

part two

pairing | felix x flor

word count | 3.2k

warnings | smut. minors dni.

author’s note | so i wanted to write like 2 more parts to this, but honestly... i feel like this turned out great. also yes, i probably should’ve made this a lot shorter, but the prompt got away from me as per usual. not proofread because i’m tired :/ this is for day seven of hot in wayhaven, aftercare!

•─────────────────•

Things have been weird since that night.

She just kind of went back to treating him exactly the same as she had before. She held him at arms’ length like she did with everyone she was wary of letting in.

He was sure that this time he’d made progress.

For the few months leading up till he almost throat fucked her in her dimly lit apartment, she’d been warming up to him.

He managed a few genuine smiles and laughs despite trying less hard to do so. He caught her watching him across the room during meetings, trainings, briefings… anytime they weren’t alone, he caught her staring at least once.

She’d even started asking about him. Any time he was late to a meeting, she bugged Mason with a punch to the shoulder or a scuff of her shoe against the toe of his own.

Didn’t matter how much progress he’d made if it’d just been ruined by one big fuck up on both of their ends.

This particular night, Felix is mulling over the events leading up to when she left, still trying to figure out where things went wrong.

He paces around the room once, twice, before plopping into his giant bean bag chair.

Before he can really settle in there, he’s restless again, jumping to his feet to cross the room once again, climbing into the hammock in the corner.

This isn’t right, either, he huffs to himself, rolling awkwardly out of the hammock and to the middle of the room, flinging himself onto his bed.

He picks up the Gameboy on his nightstand, tap-tap-tapping away on full volume until he hears a single loud thud against the wall across from him.

Abandoning his game of Galaga, he groans in frustration, rolling his eyes at Mason’s feeble attempts to silence him. Tossing the Gameboy to the foot of his bed, he opts instead to grab his tamagotchi, feeding his pet till he’s bored again.

He has lots of things. And these things keep him occupied and hold his attention for a while.

But none of them keep his attention long enough to satiate his wandering mind.

Flor’s been his main focus for a while, but it’s particularly bad this week since she’s taken a vacation for the first time since he’s met her.

It’s not even that she’s a hard worker – she’s just on such bad terms with the captain that she never bothered asking for days off when she knew she wouldn’t get them even if she had plans to get outta town.

Her being on vacation doesn’t bother him at all – it’s the way he’s got unfinished business and he can’t do anything about it.

He can’t seem to think of anything else without her creeping into the back of his mind one way or the other.

He twists off of the bed and walks to his dresser, where his phone’s charging on its surface.

He’s confused. He misses her, he’s angry at her, he wants her –

To say he’s confused is an understatement, really.

He’s been patient, he’s been kind, he’s been understanding – and for her to ignore him for the entire summer?

He’d been counting down the days till they got back to normal. He’s in the hundreds now, and there’s no end in sight.

There’s two endings if he decides to fix it tonight – he’s either getting treated better, or he moves on from her.

The latter option is a painful thought, one he doesn’t give himself time to digest before he taps the number at the top of his favorites.

The phone rings once, twice, and his finger hovers over the end call button. He’s so close to chickening out – this is an awful idea –

“What? Huh?” Flor asks, voice raspy and twinged with sleep. She yawns around her greeting, and he can picture her running a hand through her thick dyed hair. “Who is this?”

Does she really not even have his number saved?

“Uh, it’s Felix. I, um, this is a check in call,” he lies, tensing immediately.

Why’s that his knee jerk reaction? Two seconds into the call and he’s already making excuses instead of standing up for himself.

He really can’t help it, though. She’s so intimidating.

“It’s four thirty in the fucking morning,” she groans. “If you and your little team aren’t gonna respect my sleeping schedule consider any calls from this point on fucking rejected.”

“No, no, I, uh –”

He has no excuses. He can’t lie again… and she already sounds upset, and it’d make the rest of the call even more unpleasant.

“I lied. It’s not a check up,” he sits up in bed, nervously fiddling with the tamagotchi.

“Well then what is it?” She spits, clearly cranky and sleep deprived.

“I have some things I need to say to you, and… I, uh, I don’t know if you’ll like it,” he twists the keychain around his finger, but tosses his little friend to the end of his bed alongside his Gameboy. He needs to focus.

She’s silent. He knows he’s on limited time. 

“I… miss you.”

She goes silent, the static of the phone crackling because of both of their poor signals.

“Thanks.”

The one word response has him silently screaming at himself – he flings himself back on the bed, kicking his legs and flailing.

I miss you. Thanks.

The most embarrassing response he could’ve ever gotten.

“I was gonna say more than that. I’m just… gathering the courage,” he says, takes a deep breath, anchors himself.

“I don’t like how you’ve been treating me, Flor, honestly, and I think you owe me an apology.”

“Oh, I do,” she responds, a deadpan question, nearly mocking.

“Yeah, you do,” Felix bites back immediately, surprised even at himself with how forceful he’s being. “You almost fucked me at the beginning of summer, and now you’re not talking to me? I thought we were, I don’t know, friends at least? I know I’m not your Tina and I never will be, but I want to be there for you.”

“I’m not…” she trails off, and there’s a swishing sound like she’s shifting in bed. “Trying to avoid you, alright? It just seems like that, I guess.”

He can’t stop his hand from clenching into a tight fist, can’t stop it from shaking with rage, can’t stop the venom bubbling up his throat and dripping off his tongue.

“Don’t… tell me how to feel, Flor. I’m upset, so don’t try to downplay it, okay? I know you’re trying to avoid me, and that’s fine, I guess, as long as you, I dunno, let me move on.”

“Move on?” She asks, her tone (surprisingly) cushioned with sincerity.

“Yeah, I, uh,” he stands, striding across the room to the window, and back to the door, pacing (He’s wondering if she’s pacing too). “I like you a lot, but I have to protect myself, too, y’know? If you don’t want me around, you’ve gotta tell me so that I can stop, uh, investing too much of myself into… this.”

“Felix…” she sighs, and quiets. “I know you’re looking for answers, but I don’t have them. I don’t know.”

“So, what, that’s it then?”

“I… yeah. Yeah. That’s it.”

Flor sounds unsure, but he’s not gonna press her further. It hurts, but he has to move on or she’ll consume him in a fiery blaze.

He’s let the flames lick at him, but when it comes down to it, he can’t handle the inferno. He’s walking away before he gets burned, when all he wants to do is be engulfed by her.

It’s easier this way, in theory, but saying goodbye is harder than he’s ever anticipated.

“Bye, Flor. Sweet dreams.”

He disconnects before she can say another word, and he crumples onto his bed, pulling his knees to his chest.

He’s losing another person he cares about, and just like last time, he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Tears are falling freely now, and he angrily wipes them away with a rough backhand.

It’s not her fault. It’s not your fault. You’re just not compatible.

That’s what he tells himself, at least, as he’s drifting off to sleep. He’ll deal with Rebecca and Unit Bravo in the morning.

––––

Flor clutches the phone in her hand, her jaw tight.

She didn’t get the last word, and she sure as hell didn’t get to say what she wanted to say.

Felix was hurting and she couldn’t even manage kindness for one goddamn moment.

No one asks to be emotionally detached – it's just easier that way, for Flor, at least.

Wading through the mess of her apartment, she steps into the bare kitchen. Pours herself a cup of water. Chugs it to clear her head.

When that doesn’t do the trick, she takes a hefty shot of tequila. Bad idea, but the burn gives her a sense of clarity she doesn’t have when she’s completely sober.

You’ve been dragging your fucking feet for years now. Get the hell over it. Go to him. Be with him.

Every instinct she has is dragging her towards the front door where her car keys hang. Another bad idea, as per usual.

Before she can talk herself out of it, she shoots him a quick text. Come over. Please. We need to talk in person.

It’s not the wisest idea for her to face her problems head on, but the tiny, reasonable part of Flor’s mind is telling her she needs to fight for him instead of letting him slip through her fingers.

––––

He doesn’t see the text till an hour and a half after she’s sent it.

It’s just past six in the morning. The sun’s just barely creeping its way into his room, golden streaks across his wood floor.

He assumes she just wants the last word and that’s why she sent it – but an even louder part of him entertains the “what ifs” that are bouncing around his mind.

What if she wants to apologize? What if she wants to hear how I feel? And tell me where her head’s at? 

After going back and forth for a few minutes, impulse wins, and he’s tossing on a vibrant graphic tee and shorts before he sprints out the door. 

Nate’s the only one up, reading the newspaper and filling out the crossword puzzles in the soft lighting of the kitchen, and he shoots Felix a knowing look of encouragement.

Unit Bravo knows how infatuated Felix is with Flor, and they constantly flit between telling him to let her go and chasing after her.

Today’s a good day in that regard – Nate’s given his wordless blessing with nothing but a soft smile.

He’s at her place in ten minutes flat, staring up at the apartment like it’s a creaky, spooky haunted house.

His courage is thinning the closer he steps to her front door. His bones are gelatin, and his brain is equally as mushy.

It’s not an ideal state, but he doesn’t know when he’ll get another chance like this. Get the courage again like this.

Rapping his knuckles against the stained door, he waits. He rocks back on his heels, taps his feet, does anything he can to get the jitters out of his system.

When the door finally does open, his heart leaps at the sight of her.

Her hair’s a mess. Her leftover eyeliner is smudged all around her eyes. Her dark eyes are lined with red from lack of sleep. She looks exhausted.

“You came.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, and steps into her apartment when she gestures for him to come in.

She shuts the door behind him, and this time instead of shoving him up against the door to kiss him, she takes his hand.

Laces her fingers through his own, tugs him toward her couch.

He doesn’t know how to start this conversation, and from the looks of it, neither does she.

“What’s up?” He asks, simply, feeling like an idiot almost instantly for making things that casual.

“I’m…” she trails off, nearly black irises softening when she looks at him. He could live in those midnight pools.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.”

He raises both brows in surprise, and his gaze flits to their hands. She’s death gripping one of his hands with both of hers, her jaw set.

“Uh –”

“I’m getting to the why. I just don’t know how to say it –”

She grunts, shifting on the couch. “I’m not a nice person. You know that.”

“You’re nice in your own way,” he offers, rubbing a thumb over her knuckles.

“God, Felix, I’m a mean bitter bitch. Don’t sugar coat it,” she laughs. “I don’t really wanna be this way, but it’s easier than getting… invested in people.”

“Whaddaya mean?”

“It’s just easier to shut people out than to have expectations for them,” she starts, shrugging. “And having them expect things from you, too.”

“So, what you’re saying is, you don’t want us to have expectations for each other?” He asks.

“I’m gonna say this as bluntly and straight forward as I can, because I don’t think I can do anything else,” she answers after taking a deep, shaky breath.

“I like you. I’m attracted to you. I want you in my life,” she holds his eyes, speaking as earnestly as she can manage. “But I need you to be patient with me. I don’t know how to do… this. I don’t know how to get close to people anymore. Last time I did it was fucking toxic and I told myself never again.”

“Bobby,” he murmurs, and she nods.

“If you want me, too, we’ll both have to compromise,” she continues, stiffening a little like she’s bracing for impact. “I have to get used to the way you do things, and you’ll have to get used to the way I am, too. But I promise you, Felix, I’m gonna try.”

“Try what?” His voice is a little shaky, and she’s coming towards him, slowly closing the gap between them.

“I’m gonna try to love you, if you’ll try to love me,” she whispers, her jaw set again.

That’s all he needed to hear.

He closes his eyes and kisses her sweetly, softly, letting go of her hands so he can cup her face.

She’s so precious to him, so he cradles her face like the gem she is.

“Flor…” Her name’s a quiet promise as it falls from his lips.

I promise as long as you’re trying, I’ll try, too.

She clutches his hips as she kisses him, moaning sweetly into his mouth.

He doesn’t know when she starts slowly tugging his clothes off, but soon enough, they’re skin to skin, and he can’t tell where his body ends and hers begins.

She’s different this time, he notices. She’s more timid. Maybe she’s never been taken care of like this before.

As he bows his head between her legs, he can’t help but wonder if he’ll be her favorite or not.

She’s slack jawed and grasping at his head, squeezing her tattooed thighs around his face.

God, she’s beautiful, all spread out for him – she’s a gift of brown skin (and a pretty pink pussy).

She writhes and pants with each stroke of his tongue, his name broken and garbled on her lips.

When she tugs his head upwards to press sloppy kisses on his mouth, he knows she wants more.

“Flor…” he trails off, feeling sweat bead on the back of his neck. “Do you really wanna do this?”

“Only if you want to, doll.”

God, he can barely breathe. A proposition and a pet name. To most, that’s nothing. But to him, it’s the entire world.

She anchors herself on top of him and settles onto his cock, keeping direct eye contact while she stretches around him.

His eyes are fluttering shut, rolling back, and his head is threatening to loll to the side – she grabs his cheeks between her hand and tugs him back up, her half lidded eyes lustful and determined.

“I want to see you… watch me, and I’ll watch you,” she pants as she flexes her hips, his tip the only part inside of her, but she flexes again, taking all of him (every delicious inch).

“Fuck,” he curses, and she grins, bouncing against him.

He fists his hands at her hips, running a hand up her stomach to rest at the barbed wire tattoos lining her under boob. He can’t figure out what part of her he wants to touch so he opts for it all, squeezing, nipping, kissing every piece of skin his hands and mouth can cover.

“You feel so fucking good around me, doll – fuck me just like that,” she grunts as he bucks up into her.

He’s never been one to have a filthy mouth, but boy does he fucking love it.

The sun’s fully engulfing her living room at this point, the golden glow warming both of their exposed skin already, glistening in the Wayhaven sunrise.

She’s so pretty like this. She’s in her element like this, too. Confident.

The nervous, rigid version of herself was long gone.

She’s opening up to him. Albeit emotionally and physically, she’s trying. She’s blooming for him.

Flor means flower right? She’s finally in season, and it’s worth the wait.

––––

In the heat of it all, they’ve kicked all her clean laundry to the floor, but she grabbed a thin blanket from the top to cover them.

She’s cuddled up to him on the small couch, her head resting on his sweat slicked chest.

They’d been at it for a while when they both finally came. He didn’t expect her to want to cuddle, but they did.

“We probably need to clean up, huh?” she murmurs, soft kisses against his skin.

“Lemme take care of it,” he grins, crawling over her before she can protest.

He’s back in a flash with a damp towel and a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” she smiles, taking the bottle from him. When she tries to grab the damp towel, he holds it away from her.

“Can I clean you up?” He asks timidly.

Flor shrugs, mouth still on the bottle. “Okay.”

He bends to his knees and pulls the blanket away, dragging the cloth gently along her thighs, cleaning up the mess he’s made.

He folds the towel and rubs her stomach and thighs again, before kissing her knee. “You’re so pretty.”

Before he can stand up, she grabs his arm and tugs him back down for a long kiss.

When she pulls back, her eyes are shiny, soft. Midnight pools, and he’s submerged in them.

“I’ve never been fucked by someone who cares about me like you do.”

He grins and pulls her in for a kiss again.

“Well, get used to the feeling.”

He wants every messy, unpolished part of Flor he can get, from her crass humor to her sailor’s mouth.

This is the farthest they’ve ever taken things, yeah, but he’s willing to go further and further with her, as long as she’ll have him.

[otptings]

Moonlight

♤Idol; Johnny Suh ♤Genre; Mafia!Johnny, angst ♤Word Count;  ♤Warnings; mentions of stitches, mentions of killing, depressions,  ♤Synopsis; Isn’t the moonlight beautiful tonight?

Part 3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

 The moonlight in Chicago is beautiful.

You landed at the Chicago O’Hare airport a little after 2 am. There wasn’t much time spent sightseeing, as Jeno was nervous of how far Seventeen’s connections could go. You rushed through the airport, getting into the car that Johnny specifically set up to take up to the house. Upon our arrival you quickly hurried into the house - catching the sight of security cameras above the front door - and checked out the house, seeing the nice decor and modern art work. It certainly looked more like a safe house than you would’ve liked, there were no remnants of Johnny in it, making it seem a lot more bleak to be in this house.

After checking out the rooms, we split up the rooms evenly. You got the master bedroom to yourself, Jeno staying in the bedroom connected to yours, asking you to make sure that you keep the door unlocked.

In case of emergencies.

The first night there was hard.

You first took a shower, allowing the lukewarm water to run over your body, looking at the stitches lining the jagged scar on your stomach. Running your hand gingerly over the stitches, feeling nauseous while you look at it. Looking away from your scar you quickly washed up and climbed out of the shower, cleaning your stitches and quickly slipping on pjs, a pair of shorts and  one of Johnny’s old hoodies that he slipped in while you were packing.

You laid down in the bed, pulling the blankets up to your chest and stared at the ceiling. Just willing for sleep to overtake you, but your thoughts quickly divulged in Dino, Mingyu, and Johnny.

How did Mingyu know where you were? Was he stalking you? How long was he stalking you before he attacked you? Why was Dino still after you? Even if you were a loose end, you hadn’t talked or seen eachother in years. Would Johnny be okay? Johnny was incredibly dangerous and smart, the reason he was so fit to lead the Neos. But would they be enough to get rid of Seventeen? You hope that Johnny doesn’t let any emotions override his senses. Johnny needs to kill Dino or this will never end.

Sitting up you looked around the dark room, the paintings lining the will just looking like black blobs. Climbing from under the covers you quietly opened the door, walking close to the walls to avoid any squeaky floor boards not wanting to wake any of the beds.

You remembered that Johnny had gotten groceries delivered, so you headed straight for the panty. A smile spread across your face as you looked at the strange assortment, knowing that Johnny purposefully got you and Dreamie's favorite snacks along with some miscellaneous food items. You opted out of eating Chenle’s favorite cookies, knowing that he would be upset if they disappeared the first night and made some hot cocoa instead. Hopefully the warm drink would help you go to sleep.

After making your hot cocoa you walked out into the fenced in backyard, the cold air actually waking you up a little more. Looking up you saw that the sky was clear, the moon shaped like a beautiful crescent. Stars twinkled all over the sky while a few flew by. You took a deep breath of the fresh air, feeling it fill your lungs before taking a sip of your drink.

“Johnny. Please keep everyone safe, including yourself. I need you here with me.” You closed your eyes, willing the universe to hear your prayer.

The sound of the back door squeaking open had you glance over your shoulder. Just in time to see Jisung peek his head, a shy smile on his lips. You motioned for him to come join you, and turned back around, feeling Jisung sitting down on the ground beside you.

“You okay?” You nodded your head, offering Jisung a sip of your drink that he gladly took, enjoying the feeling of the liquid warming his body from the inside out.

“Couldn’t sleep. Decided to come and enjoy some late night nature.” You took another sip of your drink, holding it in your mouth just savoring the flavor before swallowing. “Do you remember when you guys saved me? All those years ago.”

“Of course I do.”

“After you guys saved me I started having these awful nightmares, they were more reliving memories. Seeing Seventeen come near me, holding me down while they did whatever they wanted to me. They haunted me for up to a year after you guys rescued me,” You swallowed the lump that was steadily growing in your throat, Jisung placed his hand on my shoulder for comfort “ Johnny was always near me, just in case I had one so he could ‘protect’ in his words. One night I had a really bad night terror, Johnny actually had to wake me up from it. He brought me outside so that we could look at the stars, and told me as long as he was beside me I would be okay. I was such a pessimist I didn’t want to believe it, especially since back then we were only friends. So I asked him, 'What about when he wasn’t there?’ ” You placed your drink on the ground, pulling your knees up to your chest.

“Johnny told me that the moon would watch over me when he couldn’t be beside me. I knew it was childish, even back then when it was all I was holding on to. But a part of me also believed that. It just fills me with comfort now. I just hope that Johnny looks at the moon too, so that we’re both protected even though we’re apart.”

Jisung wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. You snuggled into his chest, feeling comforted by the youngest just sitting and listening to you since he wasn’t the best with words.

“We’ll be back home soon. You just gotta trust them.” You wanted desperately to believe him, but a sick feeling was rising in your stomach. Maybe you shouldn’t have made hot chocolate. Patting your shoulder, Jisung started to stand up.

“Come on, you need to try and sleep.”  Sighing, you allowed Jisung to drag you to the kitchen, where you quickly rinsed out your cup and walked up the stairs, Jisung following behind you. As you put your hand on the doorknob to your room you called out to Jisung.

“Jisungie?”

“Hm.”

“You’ve grown up wise. I’m proud of you.” Even across the darkened hallway you could see Jisung’s cheeks redden as he sent you a quick nod before bursting into his room, closing the door quietly behind him. You couldn’t help but giggle as you opened your own room door, closing it behind you and laying down on your bed. The room felt a little less ominous, and the dread had lessened a lot.

It was easier to believe that everything would be okay.

....

It’s been a little over three months, and you’ve barely heard any news from the Neos. They would only send quick text that didn’t give out any information, but let us know that they were safe, to make sure that if our phones were hacked they wouldn’t have anything to use. Every precaution was taken to make sure all of you were safe.

Our first month here was dare you say fun. Groceries were delivered every two weeks, and when you wanted anything new you could just send a quick text to Doyoung or Taeil. Every week you would sit together in the living room and binge watch a new show on Netflix - if you could actually agree on something - or have a movie night.

After the first month all of you started to get tense. Still only getting the sparse texts from the Neos, none of them with any important updates. You tried to text Johnny, just quick texts to stay safe, and take care of himself. You only got terse responses, or left on open. By the second month you just stopped texting.

You knew this was meant to protect you; but why does it feel like a punishment?

You were sitting on the couch between Chenle and Jeno, having been forced out of your room. The boys had gotten uneasy seeing you lock yourself in the bedroom, depression starting to overcome you after the updates lessened. They forced you to freshen up before dragging you down to the living room, forcing you to have a movie night with them.

“Short stack.” You jump realizing that you had zoned out, the movie's credits were now playing. Concern painted all of their faces and you felt guilty, realizing you had caused this for all of them.

“Are you okay?”  You shook your head, not bothering to lie to Jaemin. Knowing that he could see you right through you. The Dreamies were your closest friends, they had been the ones to truly help get you out of your shell along with Johnny after they rescued you.

It’s now been seven months without the Neos. Seven months being quarantined in Chicago. Seven months missing two of our dreamies. Seven months without hearing updates, not knowing if they were safe. Only being able to hope that they were still alive.

Jeno pulled you into a hug, practically onto his lap after seeing how crestfallen you looked. “Everything will be okay. They’ll call us any day and tell us to come home. Just have to be patient.”

“You don’t fucking know that.” You pushed Jeno’s arms off of you and stood up. Your eyes burned but you refused to cry. Crying wouldn’t help the situation. You were just ready to go back home. To be back in Johnny’s arms. “We are all just fucking stranded here in Chicago. None of them have texted us in months. How much longer will we be fucking stuck in here?” Despite your fighting tears streamed down your face, you wiped them away with your hands, backing up as Jeno stood up to try and embrace you.

“I am so sick and fucking tired of being patient. When it get’s us fucking no where. I just want to go fucking home.” You dropped down to your knees, Renjun wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest.

“They’re okay.”  Jisung spoke up from the armchair he was sitting in, a blanket wrapped around him. “I talked to Haechan.”

“Jisung.” Jeno’s tone was a warning, icy expression as he glared at Jisung. Were they hiding something? Jisung and Jeno only stared at each other , an unsaid threat hanging in the air, tension rising. Renjun pulled you back some, trying to protect you from whatever was happening.

“Jisung?” His eyes glanced over to yours, regret showing before they flitted back to Jeno’s. You looked around the room, only making eye contact with Chenle but he quickly glanced down. Everyone was focused on the silent stand down between our makeshift leader and the youngest.

“Seventeen’s dead.” Your heart flooded with relief but then anxiety as you realized that wasn’t the full truth. Jeno stood up quickly, rushing to get to Chenle but Jaemin grabbed him, holding him back while Jisung got in front of Chenle.

“What?” Your voice cut through some of the tension, wavering as you took in the news. Jaemin glanced at you while holding onto Jeno, while Chenle looked down at the ground, too ashamed to look at you. “What else are you hiding? Why wouldn’t they tell us that? Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Your voice cracked, causing Jeno to turn away, walking out of the room before stomping up the stairs, slamming his room door behind him. The tension faded away, leaving behind only sadness and regret.

“Johnny’s hurt,” You tensed in Renjun’s hold, trying to comprehend what he had just told you.

“Hurt?”

“He didn’t want us to tell you until he was healed, at least more than he currently is.”

“More? How bad was he hurt?” Johnny has never been too hurt to keep you away from him. How bad were his injuries if he didn’t even want you back?

“He almost died. Dino shot him multiple times. He couldn’t be treated properly at base. They had to send him to one of our hospitals.” If you weren’t already on the ground you would’ve collapsed.

Johnny was shot. His wounds were so severe that our best medics couldn’t treat him. Tears blurred your vision at the realization that’s why he hadn’t texted you. While you were so mad and hurt over him not messaging you he was fighting for his life.

“He had to have emergency surgery.” You let out a wail as you covered your face with your hands, hearing the boys whispering around you while Renjun tried to calm you.

The love of your life was injured. Fighting for his life because of your past mistakes. Johnny, who helped you while you were healing.  Protected you even while you only fighting yourself. You should’ve died all those years ago. Dino should’ve killed you instead of kidnapping you, at least then Johnny would be safe.

All because of you. You and your stupid fucking mistakes.

You will the universe to hear one last prayer.

You hope the moon will shine on you two again.

[heart-strong]

An Ode To Science Beaker PJ’s- Spencer Reid x gn!Reader

gif credit to @0420-1102​

Summary: gn!reader takes care of Spencer after coming home from being held captive by Tobias Hankel (season 2 episode 14 and 15). Reader and Spencer have been dating for two years.

A/N: YALL I think my fics are just going to be long because I love writing so much and I haven’t had writing inspiration in so long. Thank you for all the kind words about I Have a Fever, if you haven’t checked out my first Spencer/ Criminal Minds fic yet please do I’m so proud of it but heres this new one! 

Also I mention this in my About me section but I’ll mention it here, I think Penelope and I are similar in that we call everyone “darling” just as a term of endearment, so penny calls reader darling that it.

This is also part one of a two-part set. I wanted to add a little more comfort but I loved the natural end to this without it. It is not written yet so I don’t know when it will be posted but I will link it here. when it is posted.

There is going to be smut in part two (An Ode to Golden Ratio PJs) and while there are still gender natural pronouns reader is going to have female anatomy. I’ve never written smut before and female anatomy is what I know from personal experience.

WC: 2.8k

TW: Regular cm stuff and topics covered in season 2 episode 14 and 15, (DID, dilaudid, self harm, abduction), talk and description of self harm but no relapse, any others let me know I’ll add it no question.

Again pt. 2 here

----

Spencer Reid and you had been dating since the two of you were set up on a sorta blind date by your mutual best friend Penelope Garcia. While you couldn’t possibly know everything that Spencer went through you had some idea from being Penny’s friend for years. Two years strong with Spencer and you felt like you were starting to know him better than his team.

It was Super Bowl Sunday and you were out with the team. The game was over and Spencer, Anderson, yourself, and a few other FBI agents you had just met that night were sharing a table. You are draped on Spencer’s shoulder watching him getting quizzed by Anderson when JJ walks by, she ruffles his hair and takes a phone call outside. You fix the curls out of Spencer’s eyes and kiss his cheek when he answers the question just in the nick of time.

And then there’s a case. The team was called to Georgia and everything was going well, or as well as a murder investigation can go when one night Spencer missed his usual phone call with you. He would check-in, at least a minute, letting you know he was okay. So you weren’t surprised when Penelope knocked on your door.

“Hi, darling. Um, I am going to go to Georgia and I wanted to tell you because, well because you and Spence. Somethings wrong. You may want to sit down.”

“What happened to him?” you motion Penelope into your apartment and to your couch.

“Well, uh, boy wonder and JJ were sent to a witness’s house to question him. But the witness well he was the unsub.”

“What?” you look at your best friend. You didn’t want to believe what you were thinking.

“Tobias Hankel, uh the uh unsub took Spencer. I am going because he is highly skilled with computers. I promise you, I will bring him back to you.”

“Okay, so what do we know? Do we know if he’s okay?”

“The team has a video feed on him. They can’t track him, so I’m going to go. That’s my specialty darling, I’ll get him back to you. The image we have of him is okay right now. He’s tied to a chair and clearly wounded but he is okay. The unsub has multiple personalities and one of his personalities is feeding him and giving him water.”

“Okay sounds good. You leaving now then?”

“Right now. I knew you needed to know before I left though. I love you darling stay strong for your boy wonder.” Penelope popped up off the couch as you rose and gave you a tight squeeze before floating out the door.

“Yeah okay. Love you too.” you followed and closed yourself out of the world.

It was another three days. Three days of not hearing from Spencer, but at least you knew why. He was being held captive. Three days of knowing your boyfriend was in pain and danger, a murderer holding him and streaming his whereabouts to his friends. No word from Spencer. No word from Penny. No word from no one.

Until you woke up to Derek Morgan calling you at 2:30 in the morning.

“Hello? Derek is everything okay?”

“(y/n),” it was Spencer. His voice was rough and scratchy and maybe a couple of octaves lower.

“Holy shit Spencer. You’re okay.”

“I’m safe. And I’m going to be with you as soon as possible baby. I just have to go to the hospital first.”

“Spencer Walter Reid come home to me as soon as humanly possible. I just need you.”

“We’re headed to the hospital now. It’s just bruising and a gash on my head.”

You heard the team behind him and just needed him. Safe in your arms, safe out of the field.

“Spence just come to my apartment when you get home and I can take care of you.” you hear Morgan wolf whistle from your words. “I’m glad he can make jokes right now, that helps me know you are fine.”

It was so early you tried to go back to sleep. But you couldn’t, finally getting out of your bed at five and making coffee. After trying to eat something you couldn’t stay still anymore you decided to do some chores. You were folding laundry and found a pajama set Spencer had left at your apartment, it was soft flannel and covered in little beakers. You noted the company on the tag and a hole in the knee showed how loved they were. You went to the store and got his favorite peppermint tea and snacks, making sure to make it feel somewhat homely for him, and finally returned home where you sat on your couch sewing up the knee waiting for him to come home to you.

It’s past 8 pm, you have the pajamas folded beside you and a movie playing on your tv when you hear movement on the other side of your door. The sound of a key and the doorknob moving pulls for your attention when Spencer walks into your apartment.

“Charming Boy, what are you doing?” you grab his bags since he was clearly in pain. “Where’s Derek?”

“He dropped me off?”

You immediately noticed that Spencer had downplayed his injuries. A black eye was forming on his sharp cheekbone and you looked to his hairline where there was medical tape assuming that was the gash he had mentioned on the phone and his wrists were red from the restraints Penelope mentioned. But he hadn’t let go of his side since he entered your apartment and it just elevated your terror when he yelped from you taking his bag. What in the world happened to him. “Spencer why didn’t you tell me?” you lowered the bags to the ground and took his free hand and cheek in your hand, trying to get him to look at you.

“I was taken and beaten up for days but I’m good. I’m with you.” he kissed you but it didn’t feel like the boy that left you a week ago.

You pulled back from the kiss and looked at him. His eyes were distant and avoided yours looking to his messenger bag on the floor. You kiss him on the nose and he plays along crinkling his nose but his eyes don’t move. He is still dazed and out of it when you pick up his bag and drag him to your room.

Spencer didn’t like therapy, after the L.D.S.K about a year ago you asked him if he wanted to talk to someone outside of the FBI. “ I know all the tricks, I can’t learn anything new from them.” and while you knew it was an unhealthy view you were not going to force him to do anything he didn’t want to do.

“Hey, Charming can you look at me?”

You had brought him to the side of the bed he would sleep on when he stayed the night and he was staring out the window with his messenger bag on his lap and was holding on to it like it was the only connection to the world. He looks up at you standing in front of him. But his gaze quickly moved to the window and moon and sky again. “I’ll be right back.”

You grab his pajama set from the couch, a couple of glasses of water and a first aid kit then return to him, he hadn’t moved. After setting the items on the bed and the water on your bedside table you sit by him. You brush away stray hairs off his forehead and place a kiss on his hair. He smells like chemicals and raw fish.

The Spencer scent of his shampoo and matching body wash that reminded you of Christmas and the spilled coffee lingering on his sweaters was overpowered. Gone. You could spend days wrapped up the cardigans he left behind but right now he was nowhere near that version, in a shirt that was clearly Derek’s as it fell off his collar bones.

“Hey Spence, do you want to take a shower?

“Do you want me to?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s just, you’ve been held by an unsub for three days,”

“Two days, 13 hours.”

“Okay, so about three days. Charming wouldn’t it make you feel better?”

“I can if you want me to.”

The short answers made you very uncomfortable. The words and avoidance of a shower were very non- Spencer, you wanted his rambling back. You wanted the boy that left you a week ago, but he wasn’t coming back, so you just wanted him to feel a little bit better. Safe.

“Spencer, can you tell me where your head is at right now?”

“My head is in the chair I was strapped to for 61 hours.”

“Can I ask you to elaborate on that Spencer?” you didn’t want to push him but no one had told you what happened to him during those days and you wanted to know everything after he showed up worse for wear to you. “Did they touch the spots that are off-limits Spence?”

Spencer Reid was the most beautiful, handsome, and attractive person you had ever met. After the one time you hung out with the team, it was a no-brainer for Penelope that she needed to set the two of you up. And now years of knowing him and getting to know him differently than his team the two of you were comfortable together. And you quickly learned things before the team. You had planned to go with Spencer to see his mom when he was given vacation time, but you weren’t given time off; you left your retail job a month later to pursue your dreams. And like his mom before the Fisher King case, the team didn’t know about his ‘off-limits spots’ and this spaced-out man sitting before you. You knew they definitely didn’t know about his off-limits spots because you learned about them when you were making out one night and untucked his shirt. His ribs, his stomach, and wrist were the hardest for him when unsubs taunted him. The restraints, the groping, the beatings. They were also the places he put all his frustration out when his anxieties were out of control. But it had been two years.

“Spencer, did you hear me?”

“Um well he, Tobias took his belt around my arm, a make-shift tourniquet, and drugged me. He hit me in the head.” he gestured to his forehead. “And when they found me, the team, one of his personalities had a knife to my wrists.”

“Oh, Charming. Can I see?” he nods and you take his hand and unbutton the cuff of his sleeve, and there it is. A clear bandage was tight to the skin covering a dozen of cuts next to light scars from Spencer’s own hand. You couldn’t help but think two years down the drain even though the marks weren’t from Spencer, they sure looked like it. “Okay, bathroom Charming boy.”

The two of you walked to the bathroom and while Spencer sat on the closed toilet lid you ran the bath. Going back to your room you grabbed the first aid kit and his pajamas.

“Do you need anything, want anything to eat or drink?”

“Do you have peppermint tea?”

“I got some for your visit, I can make you some while you relax. Anything else?”

“My shampoo and conditioner are in my go-bag. Not that I don’t like the scent of your stuff I just want mine.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, honey. Okay let me get those for you and then I can take your bandage off and we can clean it up.”

As you walk back into the bedroom Spencer yells “Actually it is better to cover wounds to help them heal properly.”

“I know Charming but I want to clean it and switch it to a new bandage. Better padding you know you were in a hospital and a plane with that one. Whoa,” Spencer was in the tub already and you were shocked to see him naked. A big bruise was wrapping around his rib cage. You had never seen your boyfriend in less than a button-up with the top three or four buttons undone. “Sorry, um I’ll go make something to eat and boil water.” you go to close the door.

“(y/n), wait.” his eyes were finally starting to come back in focus, “ Weren’t you going to help with this,” he places his arm on the lip of the tub.

“Sweetie, you’re, you are,” you are trying to look at his face and not the wounds or his collar bones or his chest or his below the water.

“Oh,” and just like that, his eyes unfocused.

“No Charming, it’s just, we’ve never been shirtless in front of each other.” you go to sit by the tub on the floor of your bathroom, grabbing his hand still limp on the lip of the tub. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yes, I’m okay, just can you not look at me like I’m different.” he looks at the arm and your hand holding it. “Just because my arm looks like this again.”

“Spencer, I didn’t look at you differently when you told me originally, I’m not going to look at you differently now. One sec,” you scoot on the tile and grab the first aid kit off the floor in the doorway where you dropped it. “Are you okay if I clean it and change the bandage?”

“Um, yeah, yeah you can, thank you.”

You grab his hand and put the kit in your lap. Grabbing an alcohol pad and running on the edge, and slowly but surely you get the bandage off his arm. You stand and get a washcloth off the shelf above the toilet and wet it with cool water.

By the time you finish bandaging his arm again the water Spencer was sitting in had gone cold and he is shivering.

“Can you make tea now and, um,” he looks down at his arm covered in new beige badges. Boring, but no one could see it anymore.

“Yes of course I can, um, I left a pair of pj’s on the bed you left them here.”

“Thank you.” he looked so small and scared in the tub.

You left thinking he was just bashful because he was in the tub and went and started a teapot. As you’re heating up a pot of water for mac and cheese you hear him padding into the kitchen.

“Do you feel a little better?”

“Definitely.” he sat at your kitchen table and you walked over to him. “Thank you for fixing my pajamas (y/n), I’m glad you had them. I thought I lost them, left them in a hotel on a case.”

“Yeah they were here, I can fix other clothes if you want.” you card your hands through his damp hair and twist his front fringe around your fingers.

“I would like that, thank you.” he closes his eyes as you comb through his hair and hold the back of his head. “Um, can we just have peanut butter and jelly, I just want to snuggle with you and I can’t wait for the water to boil.”

“That sounds perfect, do you still want tea?”

“Yes please.”

You kiss the top of his head, his hair finally smelling like Spencer. Your home. And as you let go you don’t feel that sinking feeling you usually do when walking away from Spencer. He joins you at the counter and pulls out two knives. You grab the bread slices and the two of you make sandwiches. When the kettle shouts you grab two cups and tea bags from the box and pour out water. Spencer grabs the plate with the sandwiches and follows you to your bedroom.

Once there you set the cups down and grab your phone and turn on some quiet music. When you turn around Spencer is already under the blankets and honest to god nibbling on his sandwich. You go to your closet to get your own pajama set, granted not as cute as your boyfriends, and join him.

“How are you feeling?” Spencer asks.

“I am so happy that you are here. Can I kiss your silly face?”

“Please do.”

You launch at him. Your flannel-clad legs wrap around Spencer’s hips. His hands go to your hair as his tongue starts to brush your lower lip and you open your mouth to accept his tongue. Pulling away from his mouth, his beautiful, talented, and oh so addictive mouth, you look to him as long lashes flutter open his big brown eyes you’re hit by a train.

“Move in with me?”

———

Update (May 2, 2021)

Part two here it is nsfw

[tiasgarden]

4th

It was a beautiful sunny day in Salt Lake City. It was  the Fourth of July and Gina. had such a fun day planned.  Ash and her were hosting a Fourth of July Party.  As Gina walked downstairs, she rain into Ash.  

“ Hey G, you look ready to celebrate! I love the orange.  To be honest the red white and blue is overrated.” Ashlyn says giving her a pat on the back.

Gina agreed. She had become much more informed about the tragedies and true history of her birth country. Fourth of July was nothing to celebrate, besides food. So she had decided to wear orange and any color than white, blue and red. Her hair was in a bun and she was excited.

“ Yeah Orange, was the way to go.  I also um wanted to ask if we could make a donation to a indigenous  people foundation to help those communities. “ Gina asked hesitantly.

Ashlyn nodded,  she was already one step ahead of G. She had made a donation this morning when she was still sleeping.  

“ I already made one this morning! 50 dollars to help indigenous communities around the country. I am so proud of you G, this party will be iconic. The best fourth party ever.  “ Ash said.

“ Yeah fuck, the United States  tbh, we are a bunch of monsters.  But if we should do anything on this day it should be have a party.  “ Gina said before going to help set up. Her job was to get the table where they would all be eating outside ready,. She also would be putting the appetizers out inside for people to eat.

The main meal would be some penne al la vodka and some pizza from big red’s shop. The two agreed to stray away from the torsional grilled food as some of them including  gina were vegetation. It would be perfect.

They had got some cute decorations that were non 4th of July themed and quickly decorated the house.  The two at this point had become the pros are parties.

It soon was 4pm and people would be showing up any minute. Everyone but Ricky Bowen was coming.  He didn’t get a invite, he was being moody lately and no one wanted to deal with him.

The first to arrive was obvious. EJ Caswell.  Who just happened to be Gina Porter’s boyfriend.  The two had gotten together at the end of the school year. EJ had asked Gina out in a adorable way.   The rest is history.

Gina embraced him in the biggest hug before pulling back.  He held her hands in his.

“ Hey, so glad you could come.  I love that orange polo on you, you look so hot and  we match which is just cute.” Gina said smiling at him.

“ Thanks G, you look beautiful, The orange halter was a good choice. I also made my donation to the foundation you sent me this morning. “ He said as she took his hand in hers and walked to the backyard with him.

How did she get so lucky? No words could express how thankful she was for EJ Caswell. How he made her feel better with his presence. Anything he did . The biggest smile would breakout on her face.  NO one besides her mom could do that to her.

He was her first boyfriend and she deep down truly hoped he was her last also. She wanted him to be hers till she died as gruesome as it sounded.

“ your the best you know that? Gina said before giving EJ a kiss on the cheek and continuing to welcome people to the party.  

Within the hour, all their friends were there. Everyone wore orange, just like Gina had requested.  The food was a hit, just like she had hoped. Also the music was wonderful and Ej and her danced for a solid hour.

Soon though it was the time of the night were the gang sat down for desert, which was ice cream Sundaes. Make your own of course. Gina just wanted chocolate with rainbow sprinkles and a few gummy bears.  EJ on the other hand chose Vanilla with chocolate syrup and some m&m's. He also gave Gina a few since he knew they were her favorite.

Once everyone was sat down, the gang discussed what plans they all had for the remainder of the summer. Gina was THRILLED to tell them EJ was coming with her to visit her mom next week.  

Ashlyn was excited as she got a summer job as a camp counselor, which would be excited as she loved kids. Seb and Carlos were spending their summer in Utah but planned a road trip to see more of it. Nina mentioned how she would be going to record a few songs to be released in the fall.  She had been writing a lot more since her breakup with Ricky, She was a much more confident person Caswell. Kourtney was going on a vacation to California with her mom,  it would be nice since she had a lot of family out there.


It was nice to catch up, even though they all texted daily in their group chat.   She didn’t know how she would last without EJ in the fall.  He promised her though they would make It work and he would come home often. Luckily, she had Ashlyn another year. Her mom had agreed to let her finish school in Utah. She only was 2 years away.  She then could either move back with her mom or EJ and her had talked about getting an apartment together depending on where she went to college.

As the night came to an end, Gina felt content. It was only the beginning of July and  they had more weeks ahead of cuddles, kisses, hand holding and her favorite baking together. As she was looking around EJ used one hand that wasn’t wrapped around her shoulder to turn her chin to him and sneak a kiss.  She quickly smiled into the kiss  and after a few seconds pulled apart, while the rest of the wildcats “awed” them.  Gina took this time to  move from her chair onto EJ’s lap and relax into him. He wrapped his jacket he had brought with him around her and started rocking her back and fourth.

This was happiness Gina Porter thought as she cozied on up in her boyfriend’s lap  and before she knew it she had fallen asleep.

[dreamersdreamloud]

Drug Cartels (Part 2)

Lionel Luthor wasn't the only one with a family. Your father (Y/F/N) found your mother around the same time that Lionel found his future wife. (Y/F/N) went on a small vacation in Europe before going back to Mexico to deal with the drug business. Your mother and father hit off quickly and continued to pursue this relationship. Your parents never got officially married but in the eyes of their cartel family, it looked like they were. Ever since you were born, Los Reyes Alfa Cartel was always there for you. Despite not being connected by blood, they were highly considered your family. 

Your parents and you made so many connections and each member treated you as their own daughter too. Although your parents are drug lords, they never really used their power to scare people unless they were disloyal or a danger to the community. Your father was the iron fist while your mother represented the caring hands. It was perfect. 

People who work for Los Reyes Alfa were well taken care of. Children felt safe within the cartel and they were able to go to school without any financial issues due to the cartel providing. The elderly were watched over and the poor were not so poor. Los Reyes Alfa were never selfish or greedy about the money they make. They rather give it away to those who need it then keeping it all to themselves. 

When you turned 24, your parents handed over the power to you. They no longer wanted to be part of it due to them being highly wanted from the feds and that they wanted to live the rest of their lives in peace. You didn’t mind the transition of power and your parents trained you ever since you were a kid. 

They went into hiding after they sent out their condolences to Lionel Luthor. You personally haven’t met the Luthors but your parents did tell you that Lionel is a very close friend to your father and that our cartel groups shouldn’t clash. Not until Lex Luthor decided to declare war against your cartel family. 

“Jefe! ¿Escuchaste? La hermana de Lex se escapó de su cartel. 

(Boss! Did you hear? Lex’s sister ran away from her cartel.) 

A short woman came in the room while you were on the balcony in one of the many homes you  own, watching the oceanside view. It was your area of peace to just watch the sun rise and set whenever you want to relax. 

“Lo dice en serio? (Are you serious?). Maggie, go send out some people to find the woman. Maybe her bastard brother and I can make a deal.” 

Maggie Sawyer is one of your closest members of the cartel to you but before she started working for Los Reyes Alfa, your parents rescued her when she was 16 years-old from her abusive father. She was abused for being gay and that she was a disgraced to her own family. Your parents caught the drunken father beating Maggie in public. Your mother was horrified that the father was beating his child based on a stupid reason so your father took action and shot the man at blank point. They left the man to bleed on the dirt streets of where Maggie used to live, an example of what it looks like to beat your children for no just reason. 

Your parents took Maggie away and introduced you to her. You became close like sisters and helped find a new family that was willing to accept who she is. It wasn’t long until Kara and Alex Danvers also joined the cartel. They were willing to join after their parents were murdered by James Olsen’s cartel. The Danvers sisters could not support themselves after the devastating loss. Alex dropped out of medical school and Kara quit being a reporter due to not making enough money. 

Your parents and you took good care of the girls. There are times where you all fought but made up. What made this little group interesting is that all of you came out gay and you were all proud becuase no one can say shit about it. If they did, people better hope you come back home in a body bag instead of being found in the river or hanging in public. 

*** 

6 months later 

Lena Luthor, now known as Kieran Lee, is found hanging out in a nightclub. Lena just got off work from a small business pharmacy not too far from where she lives. Lena was able to find a place where it was not Luthor Cartel territory but in Los Reyes Alfa grounds. She was worried that one of Lex’s men would find her but nobody came for months. No talks were going around if the raven-haired woman was seen in these grounds. It made her worry but soon she was got comfortable. 

Lena from time to time, keeps track of what the Luthor Cartel were doing, only to find out that Lex is murdering more people each week for not obeying his power. Although his men are out there killing and stealing, Lex is increasing his wealth. He was able to smuggle more drugs than their late father ever did before.  

The raven-haired tries to ignore her brother’s actions but it was difficult. She wants to do something about it but she doesn't know how. She wishes she had her own cartel of her own, send out orders to stop his reign but also help out the poor and weak. The least she could do is keep working in the small pharmacy with an old couple who owns it, she was able to help sick children and eldry. Lena would pay some of the medications with her leftover money for those who really need it. Sometimes, if she has the right chemicals and powders, she would make her own meds in her apartment space and give them for free. 

Tonight, Lena wants to feel numb. She plans to just drink a few drinks and socialize to make connections. Helpful connections at least. 

“Hermosa chica! Come and dance!” A random male has been trying to make moves on Lena. She wasn’t having any of it. Whenever she comes to this nightclub, a guy would try to flirt with the green eyed beauty. Tonight, he takes a chance and grabs Lena by the arm to force the woman to dance with him. 

“Let go of me!” Lena tries to break free but the man just grins and gropes her ass. The man’s glory moment didn’t last long and ended up being pushed to the floor by another figure. A blonde above the injured drunken man with her back facing Lena. 

“Ya know. It’s not nice to manhandle a woman, amigo. Women won’t like that. When she says no. . .” The blonde kicks the man between his legs and screams out his pain. “That’s what happens.” 

Everyone around looks at them but quickly ignores the situation. Another male came in to help the crippled guy on the floor and walked away. 

“Are you okay?” The blonde asks Lena who just can’t believe what just happened in front of her. Her emerald green eyes met the blue eyes, she was a bit lost. She took a quick minute to study the blonde’s strong looking figure. 

“Mhm. So may I have the name of my savior?” Lena plans to get laid tonight. 

The blue eyes chuckled, “Kara Danvers.” 

“Kieran Lee.” They shook hands and exchanged flirty smiles. 

“Can I buy you another drink, Kieran?” 

Lena didn’t turn down a free drink which turned out to be many more. The raven haired lost track of time and how many drinks she had. She was feeling free and relaxed. The two women danced on one another, not caring how scandalous it was looking. 

“Let’s go somewhere private, yeah?” Kara says into Lena’s ear while she pulls her in very close to her body. 

The two stumbled into one of the dark areas of the nightclub, they shared rush heated kisses until Lena felt a prick on her neck. Those are not teeth, Lena quickly thought. 

She sees that Kara is holding a needle in her hand and that her steel blue eyes focused on Lena’s reaction to the injection. Lena suddenly felt dizzy and the sounds around her were sounding farther by the second. 

“Nothing personal, hermosa.” The blonde finally says when Lena eyes slowly closes and starts to fall forward. A short red head woman came quickly to Kara’s side to help carry the raven haired. 

“That was easy but you took a while. We need to leave now before Boss loses her patience.” The red haired tells Kara. 

“I can’t just prick her, Alex! She needed to feel comfortable with me first.” Kara says back to her sister. 

“Whatever. Maggie is waiting outside. . Let’s go..” 

Kara easily carried Lena in her arms and Alex guided the way out to the car. The three went inside the back of the black Jeep Wrangler, placing Lena between the Danver sisters. 

“She looks like a hot mess.” Maggie looks at the unconscious woman. 

“Apparently, Kara wanted to have a little fun.” Alex comments and Kara just shrugs. 

They drove off and made their way back to the base. Another black Jeep followed closely behind them. 

“Is someone following us?” Alex questions the driver. 

“They’re one of ours. (Y/N) was kind enough to send back up just in case Lex’s men found Lena before us.” Maggie answers. 

“I’m guessing Winn and Mike are in that car?” Kara looks behind to see if she can see the faces in the car.

“Yup!” 

The group is glad that the kidnapping went perfectly fine. They didn’t need to harm anyone in the club but the drive back home is going to take a while. They have 3 hours to drive back to their destination. 

*** 

“You lost my sister?!” Lex yells at the two men in front him. 

They didn’t know what to say. Maxwell Lord was still suffering the pain between his legs and hopes the ice is helping him recover. John Corben was planning to go back to grab the raven haired but she was with the blonde the whole time. It made it difficult to go and grab the missing Luthor sibling.  

“We couldn’t get her alone. She was drinking with this blonde the whole time. Then we lost the two of them in the club. Maybe the blonde took her home but we’re close to finding your sister’s apartment for more clues.” 

“Well why are you still here! Go! You’re wasting my fucking time.” Lex yells at them again. 

I’ll find you Lena. One way or another. Lex says to himself. 

[rbbalmung]

Pokemon SwSh GPL AU: Get to know ______ P3

It’s time for THE BOYS. My biggest conclusion from putting this together is that while Raihan enjoys pushing everyone else’s buttons, Leon is the only person that can fluster the hell out of him. Please enjoy. 

Get to Know: Leon x Raihan (TrueRivalShipping)

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other? Leon. He feels like the type of person whose love language is gift giving (ex. giving Hop Wooloo and Grookey, giving Gloria Scorbunny, Yamper, and Charmander, ect.). That being said, he’s terrible at getting gifts. He can tell exactly what type of Pokemon a person would want and catch it, but presents? He once got Raihan a charmander watch made for kids without even considering it wouldn’t fit him. 

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap? Leon. They’re both tall, but Lee’s the smaller of the two. 

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes? Raihan would definitely strut around just to get a reaction out of Leon. Half the time his intentions are to get him into bed, but the other half? Embarrass Leon when he’s on Rotom calls with his mum (don’t worry, he wears pants for those instances). 

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway? They’re both night owls. They stay up either playing video games or watching Netflix (or whatever the pokemon equivalent to that is). They had to invest in a bigger couch due to how often they have passed out on it. (When I say bigger couch, I definitely mean a futon. They just straight up by the closest thing they can to another bed). 

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies? Hop inherited their mum’s cooking skills. Since Leon spent most of his young adult life as a champion who never really had time to stay at home and cook a real meal, it is up to Raihan to provide. Lee was permanently designated to cleanup duty after nearly burning the apartment down. 

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”? Leon would say,” Oh, that’s us!” and Raihan would say,” Eh, not really?” just to spite him. There is a lot of teasing and playful banter in their relationship. 

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes? Raihan, but only because he would literally murder Leon if he borrowed one of his designer sweatshirts. There’s also the added benefit that Lee’s clothes are a lot comfier. 

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?” Leon isn’t allowed to run errands by himself because he’d get lost, so Raihan is usually the grocery-getter. Raihan will be in the checkout line and almost always get a last minute text from Leon asking for one more item. It drives Raihan bonkers. 

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions? Leon is the driver, and Raihan is the “direction giver” (let’s be real, he’s more focused on what song they play next than getting them to their destination). If it’s a group road trip, neither of them are allowed in the front because they’ll just end up getting everyone lost. 

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws? Ok, so I don’t really think one of them would draw the other. They’re much more of an “active, sporty couple” than an “artsy couple”. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened, though. During one of their dates, they decided to doodle each other on their napkins to help pass the time. They were both terrible and it got really heated when the waitress chose Leon’s drawing as “slightly less worse”.  

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips? Are you kidding? They’d both try to out-do each other. Both backflippers. 

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking? I feel like even though Leon has more body mass than Raihan, he’d be the lightweight of the two. Both have been in the League since they were in their late teens, but Leon’s public image had a lot more specifications than Raihan’s. That meant Raihan got to go to a lot more college parties on his nights off and build up his tolerance. Leon’s public relations manager didn’t let him even look at alcohol until he stepped down as champion. He had to “set a good example for his young fans”. (Sufficed to say, Gloria quickly got a new PR manager when she filled his role). 

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own? Raihan learned that if he used Leon’s last name, he could get special treatment. It’s an abuse of power! Especially when they’re having dinner at the Hoffman house and Raihan casually slips in that he’s planning on taking Lee’s last name once they marry. Leon’s convinced his grandparents like Raihan better than they like him at this point.  

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside? Raihan, though he’ll go to an early grave before admitting that. He just doesn’t want them getting webbing on his new shoes! Yeah...that’s it. 

16: Which one gives the other their jacket? Leon. It was mentioned above, but Raihan has to be in a really good mood in order to let Leon borrow his stuff. It isn’t that big of a deal, thankfully: The Hoffman boys are like personal heaters.  

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling? Ok, ok, ok: Raihan is slightly intimidated by Hop. He just wants the best for his big bro! If that means calling Raihan out of his shit from time to time to keep him in line, so be it. Raihan can’t fight back either, because that’s his boyfriend’s little brother! One of the only things Leon gets testy over is people bullying Hop, so Raihan has to do it when he isn’t around. 

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other? Leon. It wasn’t one of those things where they’ve always liked each other, but after being friends for so long, their feelings blossomed into something new. Lee is a big flirt and never officially came out, so Raihan just figured he didn’t mean it whenever he complimented him. Leon literally confessed to Raihan at least five time before it sank in that he was serious. 

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting? I think they’d actually be pretty good! Leon helped raise Hop and he definitely has the dad act down, so adopting children would be something he’d be super interested in. Raihan may struggle a little bit at first (especially with where the line of what he could and couldn’t post on social media was), but he has a big heart. They would always be there for their kids. If Gloria and Hop are the cool parents, Leon and Raihan are the embarrassing ones. Would tease their kid lovingly. 

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters? Leon has sent a lot of professional texts because of his former position as champion, so he’d win by default. If they’re texting each other, it is all in numbers, emojis, and abbreviations. Sonia, Piers, and Nessa hate being in group chats with them. 

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them? Lee is the more protective of the two, especially when it comes to people bullying Raihan online. Raihan tries to tell him that he doesn't have to do it, but he’s secretly very flattered.  

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun? Leon makes the worst dad jokes in the world. Sometimes he does it just to embarrass Raihan. 

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy? They take turns. Raihan will catch a Hakamo-o to beat Lee’s Aegislash, only for Lee to catch an Azumarill from the Isle of Armor a week later. It’s a never ending game of trying to one up the other. 

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired? Leon. He’s pretty buff, so carrying Raihan around is nothing. He usually does it without asking if his boyfriend looks tired and flusters the heck out of him. 

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering? Ever since Leon left he league, he makes it a priority to go to every one of Raihan’s matches. He often dons ridiculous disguises in order to not get recognised, but he always gets recognised. There is an online forum just made up of pictures of him in different, weird attire. He might’ve even been able to slip by public notice if not for the fact that he tries to make AS MUCH NOISE AS POSSIBLE to cheer his boyfriend on.   

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder? Is there even a possible different answer than Raihan? The man takes selfies as a living. You better believe he has 8 different folders of pictures of Leon. 

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked? Raihan. Leon is so close to having style, but then he’ll throw on his signature snapback and a cape and ruin everything. You know the cape isn’t even a requirement for the champion to wear? Yeah, Lee just chose to wear it. He counts it as a small victory whenever Leon decides to buy something at one of Rai’s favourite stores.  

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of? Raihan tries not to get between Leon and Charizard. It’s a similar situation to the Hop one: Charizard is Lee’s baby, which means Raihan isn’t allowed to tease them.  

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains? Raihan, but he purposely will move the umbrella out from above Leon to get him soaked. It’s payback for all the other stuff he does. 

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures? Like Gloria and Hop, I think they’d travel to all the regions. They’d have to do it on off seasons and couldn't stay long due to their duties in Galar, but they like seeing the new types of pokemon. Once again, Rai would take millions of pictures. He has a photo album per vacation, not just vacation in general.  

[iamtrebleclefstories]

best thing that’s ever been mine

DAY 2: SPEAK NOW - MINE 

(is this fic two days late? yes. and what about it?)

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

hi everyone! I’ve been working on this fic for months and it has a very special place in my heart. it is a complete AU and I hope you enjoy it!!

Shoutout to @doc-pickles for being my sounding board for this fic (and many others). This ones for you!

@thejolexgroupchat

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables

Left a small town, never looked back

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin'

Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

+ + +

She walked into the diner soaked to the bone from the downpour that seemed to come out of nowhere. Shivering, Jo made her way over to her typical booth near the windows (and the space heater) and attempted to warm up. She'd been staring out the window at the busy street when she noticed a young man standing in front of her.

"You're new around here," Jo's eyebrows raised. She observed the man for a second, taking in his appearance. He had brown hair and brown eyes that seemed to be rimmed in green. He was handsome and that crooked half-smile on his face signaled to her that he knew it. "Marion and Hector hired someone new? They hardly ever do that."

The man let out an awkward chuckle, "I just moved here from a small town in lowa for school. Trying to pay my way through medical school. Guess they must've liked me."

"I guess so," Jo nodded. "Sorry, I'm here all the time so I know pretty much everyone that works here. I was surprised to see someone new."

"Well, I’m Alex," his smile grew slightly. "Since you're a regular, I guess you already know what you're having. So what can I get you?"

"Surprise me," Jo's eyes shined expectantly.

The waiter - Alex - let out a laugh, "Give me a few minutes."

About fifteen minutes later, Alex came back with a plate and drink. He placed it in front of Jo, "Here you go. A bacon double cheeseburger, no pickles, no onions, extra cheese with a large side of seasoned fries and a medium coke. You're tiny, but I have the feeling that you can eat. And as much as you may try to eat healthy, you're not a salad girl and would prefer to work out than eat grass. Am I right?"

Jo raised her eyebrows in amusement, "Surprisingly, yes. Except for the drink. I would've ordered a large coke and gotten up to pee three times because I’ve got a bladder the size of a walnut."

"I will remember that for next time," Alex smirked. "So, regular… you got a name?"

"Jo Wilson."

"Nice. I like chicks with boy's names."

+ + +

I say, "Can you believe it?"

As we're lyin' on the couch

The moment, I can see it

Yes, yes, I can see it now

+ + +

The last thing Jo would've expected was that she'd become friends with Alex, the cute waiter from Marion and Hector's diner. But after many conversations shared in the diner during all hours of the day and upon discovering that they would both be attending Harvard Medical School in the fall, Jo and Alex bonded rather quickly. It helped that they each had plenty of shared life experience as a result of growing up in the system.

Jo had never really met anyone with her kind of background that was also looking towards a future in medicine. It was encouraging and validating knowing that she wouldn’t be alone in her struggle. Once the school year began and things got real, Jo and Alex found themselves spending increasing amounts of time together, studying and stressing over the copious amounts of material they'd need to memorize and understand.

"This sucks," Alex huffed in annoyance, tossing his notecards onto the coffee table. "I hate pharmacology."

"I know, me too. But we need to learn this if we want to make sure we don't prescribe the wrong medication to a patient," Jo took a seat on the couch beside him and handed Alex the bowl of popcorn in her hands. "Can you believe our first year is almost over?"

Alex stuffed his face with some popcorn, “It feels like just yesterday I met you at the diner.”

“I know,” Jo chuckled. "I'm happy we're friends."

"Me too," Alex smiled, content to just sit near Jo.

Both of them wanted more, but neither one of them was quite ready to admit that yet. There had been something brewing between the two of them since their first meeting.

"When we're hotshot doctors one day, we'll still be in each other’s lives, right?" Jo asked quietly.

"Of course we are," Alex grinned. "We can apply to the same hospitals and in the same cities for residency and fellowship. And even after, when we are badass attendings, we can open a practice together. I won't leave your side unless you ask me to. You're stuck with me, Wilson."

+ + +

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

+ + +

"Come on, we're gonna miss it!" Jo shouted as she neared the dock. Her silhouette was illuminated by the moonlight as she deposited the blanket onto the ground and Iied down to stare at the night sky. "This should be the perfect spot to watch the meteor shower. It's far away enough from the city to see the sky but close enough that an ambulance can get to us quickly enough if anything were to happen."

"I'm coming," Alex grumbled as he carried the cooler over to where Jo was lying on the ground. "Jeez, what did you put in this thing?"

"Just the essentials," Jo reached over and opened the cooler, pulling out a beer and revealing the contents of the cooler.

"Are those stolen medical supplies?" Alex looked inside.

"Maybe?" Jo shrugged and opened the bottle. "We're gonna be out here all night so I wanted to be prepared."

"You're insane," Alex chuckled and opened his own drink.

"It's part of my charm," Jo winked at him and lifted her drink. "Look, I know all of this might seem pretty crazy, but I just wanted to do something special. This has probably been the best summer of my life.” She grew quiet for a moment. “I’ve never had a friend like you. A person. My person. Most summers I was struggling to make ends meet or find somewhere to live while everyone else went home and visited their families and went on these lavish vacations. I never really had anybody and now I have you. It’s nice. Having someone… Anyway, I just want to say thank you. For making last year and this summer a little less lonely. That’s why we’re here tonight, waiting for a meteor shower on our last Friday off before second year starts. So, cheers to a great year.”

“To a great year,” Alex lifted his beer and clinked it against hers. He stared at her for a moment, silently taking in the words she’d said. He knew expressing her feelings was no easy feat. Jo had always had a complicated relationship with feelings—both of them had. But she’d made an effort to express her emotions and that was more than enough to blow his mind. Alex was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Jo’s voice again.

“Look! It’s starting,” Jo gasped and pointed up and the night sky.

Maybe it was the meteor shower. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the speech. Maybe it was Jo’s bright smile. But Alex couldn’t help himself this time. He reached out for Jo’s hand and pulled her close to his body, wrapping his arm around her. Jo looked up at him with shining eyes and relaxed, resting her head on his chest.

They laid like that for what seemed like hours, observing the night sky and reveling in the warm summer air. After some time, Jo lifted her head to look Alex in the eye. She opened her mouth to speak but only a squeak came out, causing Alex to laugh.

“Sorry—I… I didn’t mean to laugh,” Alex cleared his throat as Jo looked at him unamused. “What did you want to say?”

“Nothing. It was stupid,” Jo shook her head.

“No it’s okay, just say it,” Alex rubbed his hand on her back comfortingly. He watched as Jo shook her head again, attempting to hide her face from his view. “Hey, look at me. Jo it’s me. You can say anything.”

“I can’t say this thing,” Jo bit her lip nervously.

Alex sighed, “Okay. How about I say it? Because I'm pretty sure I know what you’re thinking right now.”

“I highly doubt that but be my guest,” Jo scoffed.

And with his arms holding her tightly he finally said the words, “I love you.”

+ + +

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together

And there's a drawer of my things at your place

You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded

You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

+ + +

“Have you seen my light blue sneakers?” Jo shouted from the other side of the apartment. “I can’t remember if I left them here or not last time I spent the night.”

“I haven’t seen them. Maybe you left them in your car?” Alex walked over to Jo and gave her a kiss of the cheek. “You look hot in scrubs.”

“So do you, Mr. third year med student,” Jo allowed her eyes to run up and down Alex’s frame. “Today’s our first day of clerkships and I’m going to have to keep my eyes glued to you as soon as we get to the hospital because I don’t need any cute nurses trying to steal you away.”

“You act as if you have competition,” Alex leaned forward to steal a kiss. “I don’t want anyone else, especially after last night.”

“There’s so much more where that came from,” Jo wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “I know we’ve been together for a year but I still can’t get enough of you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Alex chuckled. “You know I got you something. Call it an anniversary present. I was gonna show it to you last night, but we were a bit busy… celebrating.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Jo cupped his cheek on her hand. “I just need you.”

“Hey, a one year anniversary is a big deal. Besides, this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now,” Alex’s face relaxed and loving. “Come on, it’s in the bedroom.”

They walked into the bedroom and Alex stood in front of the closed closet doors, prompting Jo’s forehead to wrinkle in confusion. Alex cleared his throat, “Okay. What you see here might freak you out a bit, but it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. So, I’m just gonna show you.”

Alex opened the closet doors to reveal that it was half empty. The left side was free of clothing except for one shirt hanging up that Jo recognized as one that she thought she’d misplaced a few weeks ago.

Jo looked at Alex in question, “You found my shirt and cleaned out your closet? That’s the surprise? What happened to your other clothes?”

“No that’s not—you’re not understanding,” Alex let out a chuckle. “It’s okay, though. You’re new to all this. So am I, if I’m being honest.”

“Alex, you aren’t making any sense.”

“I'm making space for you,” Alex stated. “I’m making space for you in my home, in my life. I got rid of a bunch of crap that I don’t need or never used and I made space. Because I don’t want you to just have a drawer full of random things at my place. I want this to be our place. So I guess what I’m asking is, move in with me. Please. I wanna go to sleep next to you and wake up next to you every day. I love you, Jo. I want to do everything with you.”

Jo stood in front of Alex, stunned. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about what it would be like to live with Alex. All her life, she’d just found a place to live. She never had a home. As long as there was a roof over her head and a somewhat comfortable space to sleep in, she would make due. It was all she needed. After Alex, she found the home she’d been searching for all along.

“Jo?”

“Yes,” Jo breathed without hesitation. A couple tears collected in her eyes. “Yes.”

Alex’s face broke out into a huge grin, “Really? You’ll move in?”

“Yeah,” Jo laughed happily. “I’d love to live with you.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded his head and motioned to the room. “I’ve still got to move some stuff around but we can have it done by the end of this week.”

“I don’t have much. I don’t need a lot of space,” Jo shrugged.

“I’m gonna change that,” Alex took both his hands in her own. “No more having only the bare minimum necessary to survive. And I mean that for both of us. I wanna build a life with you.”

“I love you,” Jo leaned up to kiss him briefly. “So much.”

“Me too,” Alex’s face was content. “As much as I’d like to just stand here with you, we’ve got to go or we’ll be late.”

“Let’s go,” Jo smiled. “I can’t wait to rub it into all the girls’ faces that I’m moving in with my super hot boyfriend and they should be jealous.”

+ + +

And we got bills to pay

We got nothin' figured out

When it was hard to take

Yes, yes

This is what I thought about

+ + +

“Dammit Alex, why can you just listen to me for once?” Jo yelled across the kitchen counter. “If you would’ve listened to me in the first place none of this would be happening.”

“Will you just stop it already?” Alex shouted back angrily. “Just shut up! I’m sick and tired of hearing you go on and on about the same damn thing. Yes, I know I let the ball drop on this one. You don’t have to bring it up every two seconds! Stop talking!”

Jo grew quiet at the tone of his voice. She swallowed back a response and took a cautious step back. She looked almost afraid to push him further.

Alex noticed her behavior and immediately felt regret over his words, “Jo. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I’m just… I’m frustrated.”

“Mmhm,” Jo pursed her lips, but didn’t move from her stop.

Alex took a step forward to close the distance only to have Jo take another step back. That’s when it hit him. Paul. He just yelled at her like Paul used to.

Alex learned about Paul Stadler’s existence not too long after Jo moved in with him. They’d gotten home from a day in the ER where a young woman came in with domestic violence injuries. Jo had been incredibly affected by the woman’s case and Alex couldn’t figure out why. That night on the couch, Jo opened up about quite possibly the most difficult experience of her life. She talked about her ex.

Paul Stadler was an old boyfriend of Jo’s who spent the first few years of their friendship grooming her to be his victim. He was a professor during her undergrad years at Princeton and especially liked to prey on isolated, young women with emotional trauma. He fixated his attention on Jo and reeled her in, making her the subject of his abuse for the last seven months of her senior year at Princeton. As soon as graduation was over, Jo—formally known as Brooke Howard—ran away, changed her name, and fled to a small town outside of Boston where she hid for a few weeks before deeming it safe to find a place in the city. It was in that year that she remade herself and applied to various medical schools under her new name before finally getting into Harvard against all odds.

Alex hadn’t always known about her history. It was something she shared with him when he found the paperwork from her name change in the process of moving her into his—now their—apartment. That’s when she sat down and told him all the missing pieces of her story. She told him about how Paul would beat her and scream at her when she failed to meet his expectations. She told him about her pregnancy and the abortion she had after Paul confiscated her birth control and coerced her into his bed. She told him about how she had been terrified but hopeful that a baby would change things for the better, only to have those expectations ripped violently away once Paul threw her against the wall for showing up at his office uninvited.

“Jo. Baby, look at me. I’m sorry. I’m not going to hurt you. I swear,” Alex looked at Jo and waited for her eyes to meet his. He reached his hand out as an invitation for her to hold it. “I love you. I’m sorry I yelled like that. I didn’t mean to frighten you or trigger you in any way.”

Jo's visibly relaxed and took Alex’s hand in her own, “I know. I’m sorry I… reacted like that, too. It’s just… I finally have something that I’m scared to lose.”

“No, you’re right,” Alex shook his head. “I told you I was going to handle this month’s rent while you figured things out with your job at the library and I didn’t do it. I left it till the last minute and I’m short $200. That's not your fault. You warned me multiple times to set aside the money for rent before paying everything else and buying those basketball tickets. I’m gonna figure it out. Don’t worry.”

Alex left the apartment in a rush, leaving Jo standing in the entryway confused. Alex was halfway to his destination when he realized that he probably should have explained to Jo what his thought process was. He had half a mind to turn back around, but then again he wasn’t all that keen on admitting what he was on his way to do. It was a major hit to his pride to even walk to the one person he knew could help them. But it wasn’t about him or his pride. It was about his life with Jo and about fixing this.

Alex knocked on the door and waited for the person inside to respond.

“Hey man, come on in.”

“Thanks,” Alex walked inside and looked around.

He had been to Jackson Avery’s apartment before. Jackson was actually one of Alex’s best friends since he started medical school. They got paired together for anatomy lab the first week of classes and had been inseparable ever since. To top it all off, Jackson was an Avery. He was from one of the most prestigious families in medicine and was sitting on a lump sum of cash. In the three years that they had been friends, Jackson had always made it clear that if Alex ever needed anything at all, to not hesitate to ask.

“What’s up?” Jackson asked as he handed Alex a beer and sat across from him on the couch.

“You know I wouldn’t do this if I weren’t desperate. I hate asking for favors and you’re my friend so don’t feel obligated to say yes, but I need help,” Alex started.

“Whatever you need, man. You know that,” Jackson leaned forward to wait for Alex to make his request.

“I messed up this month with the rent. Jo’s hours at the library got switched and they don’t work with our clerkship schedules, so I had to take over all the bills this time around. I told her not to worry, that I’d handle it, but I’m $200 short,” Alex put his head in his hands. “Do you think you could lend me the money? I swear I’ll pay you back as soon as my next paycheck from the diner comes in.”

“Whoa, Karev. Slow down,” Jackson reached into his wallet and pulled out two crisp hundred dollar bills. “Here. It’s no big deal. And I’m not lending you $200. I’m giving it to you.”

“I can’t… I can’t accept that,” Alex shook his head. “I don’t like owing people.”

“You won’t be owing me anything,” Jackson held the money out. “We’re friends, Alex. You’ve got my back, I’ve got yours. You and Jo helped me when I was struggling in that class last year. You took time out of your own studying and time that the two of you could’ve been spending together to help me. You’re the reason I passed. Take the cash. Just think of it as a favor.”

“Thank you,” Alex sighed and took the money in his hands. “I just… I feel so pathetic. What guy can’t provide for his girlfriend for one month while she’s struggling to figure things out financially? Thank God we each got a full ride in college so we don’t have to worry about student loans until we graduate med school. I just feel useless.”

“You’re anything but useless,” Jackson took a swig of his beer. “You underestimated how much money you’d need to save. So what? It’s okay. It happens. Even to me. You learned from it and now you can move on. You’re gonna pay the rent on time and everything's gonna be fine. Don’t let this become a thing. Don’t let it come between you and Jo.”

“I just feel like I’m letting her down,” Alex admitted quietly.

“Jo didn’t grow up with much. Yeah, stuff is nice, but I know at the end of the day all she really wants or needs is you,” Jackson smiled. “Besides, even if you somehow got so behind that they evicted you, I’ve got a guest bedroom that I’d be happy to let you and Jo stay in for however long you needed to. Maybe I'll finally get a chance to steal her flashcards that she refuses to share.”

Alex smirked, “Good luck with that. She won’t even let me see them.”

“Eh it’s worth a shot,” Jackson chuckled. “Okay, finish your beer and then go pay your bills.”

+ + +

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?

You saw me start to believe, for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

+ + +

“Come on, follow me. I wanna show you something,” Alex smiled as he led Jo up the dock.

“Where are we going?” Jo asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time. “We start our first day of internship tomorrow. I don’t want to be late.”

“We won’t be late,” Alex continued pulling her in the direction he was headed to. “I want to do something special before we get busy and don’t have time to be us.”

Jo’s eyes softened, “Okay. Lead the way.”

Alex grinned as they neared a ferry boat, “I got us tickets for a ferry boat tour of the city. I thought it would be a nice way of celebrating that tomorrow we finally become the doctors we always dreamed we’d be as kids. It’s been hard getting here, but we made it. We made it, Jo and I know that I can make it through this year and the rest of my life as long as I’ve got you by my side.”

Jo looked at Alex with love in her eyes, “You’re incredible.”

“That’s all you, princess,” Alex put his arm around her shoulder as they boarded the ferry and took a seat.

The majority of the ride was done in silence. They marveled at the city lights bouncing off the water as the sky grew dimmer as the night went on. Jo snuggled up against Alex, thinking about how the time had flown by. She first met Alex about four years ago in a diner and now here she was in Seattle sitting next to the love of her life on a ferry the night before their first day of internship. It was a surreal moment and yet, Jo found herself actually believing that she had found a love that would last for the first time in her life.

“I love you,” Jo snuggled into Alex’s side.

“I love you more.”

“I can’t believe this is real,” Jo said later that night as they were climbing into bed. “I keep expecting someone to pinch me and wake me up from this dream I’m having.”

“It’s real,” Alex pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I hope we get assigned the same resident. I want to be near you so that none of the female doctors or nurses trying anything stupid,” Jo snuggled in close to Alex.

“Is this jealousy I hear?” Alex’s face turned up into a smirk.

“Pfft, me, jealous?” Jo scoffed. “Please. I’m not jealous. I'm just… protective over what’s mine.”

“Oh so I’m yours now?” Alex grinned, amused.

“Yup,” Jo leaned up to kiss him deeply, allowing her hands to travel down his chest and stomach to the waistband of his boxers. “You are all mine.”

Alex groaned, “I’m fine with that.”

+ + +

And I remember that fight, two-thirty am

'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands

I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye,

'Cause that's all I've ever known

Then, you took me by surprise

You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

+ + +

Their intern year went by rather quickly, considering all of the insanity they’d lived through. From train crashes, bombs in the hospital, cutting L-VAD wires, proms, Meredith almost drowning, ferry boat crashes, and various break ups and make ups, it was safe to say that Alex and Jo had the most interesting intern class ever. When Jo thought back to everything they had lived through in the past year, she found herself increasingly grateful that she had someone that she could come home to every night. Being a doctor had reminded her just how short life could be and that things could change at any moment.

Their second year of residency was getting off to a similarly interesting start with the arrival of a new class of interns that would be under their supervision. Jo found herself increasingly frustrated with the young doctors under her care. She was so consumed by her work that Jo realized that it had been weeks since she and Alex spent time together that wasn’t as they got ready for bed at night. Even those moments were few and far between.

Alex had been spending a lot of his free time with the people in their class, specifically, Meredith and Izzie. Jo didn’t have a problem with them. On the contrary, Jo loved both women dearly. Meredith was a loyal friend that mirrored Jo in many ways, and Izzie was an unexpected, bubbly best friend that reminded Jo of her only friend in college more and more every day. She didn’t have a problem with either of those women. Not at all. She wasn’t the jealous type either. She trusted Alex implicitly. She never had a reason to suspect that he would do something behind her back. That was, until he started to make excuses and lie to her about his whereabouts.      

Maybe she should’ve been a bit more understanding. After all, Meredith and Izzie had both been through a lot last year. Jo had spent countless hours by their sides comforting and supporting them. But in the process of trying to be a good friend, she felt like she was losing her boyfriend.

The last straw was when Alex left her alone at the hospital after having driven there together that morning. It had been a long day and Jo was looking forward to getting home, taking a shower, and lazing around on the couch with Alex. After she’d finished changing out of her scrubs, she walked down to the bench out by the parking lot where she and Alex normally waited for each other. Jo waited for about twenty minutes when she finally walked back inside to the nurse’s station to find him.

“Hey, could you page Dr. Karev for me? I’ve been waiting for him to leave but he hasn’t come down yet. Is he still in surgery?” Jo asked nurse Vicky.

“I saw Dr. Karev leave over an hour ago?” Vicky replied.

“What? Are you sure? We came in one car today,” Jo’s brow furrowed.

“Yeah. I saw him walk out with Grey and Stevens. It seemed like they were in a rush to get somewhere,” Vicky nodded. “Is there someone you want me to call for you?”

“No, it’s fine,” Jo shook her head. “I’ll figure something out.”

Jo ended up getting a ride back to the loft she and Alex shared from one of her interns, of all people. She thanked him bashfully as she got out of the car and walked up the steps, seeing Alex’s car in front of the building. Jo took a deep breath as she reached the door. On the way there, she’d thought long and hard about how this conversation was going to go. How could she talk about ending this? Alex was her best friend, the love of her life. He was the person who said he’d always be there for her. And yet, here she was outside their home because he left her without a word.

Finally mustering up enough courage, Jo slid the door open and stepped inside.

“I need to talk to you,” Jo put her things down in front of the bed.

“I need to talk to you,” Alex walked towards her with a glass of champagne in his hands.

“No, no, no. Listen…” Jo paused as she got choked up. “This isn’t working. I need someone in my corner, and the more I look at it, the only person I have is me.”

“Jo—”

“And I don’t want to make you choose between me and your friends, our friends. But I can’t keep feeling like everyone’s second choice. Especially not yours. Not when I love you with everything I have. Not when I put you before everything,” Jo’s eyes watered. “But right now, all I can see is how you choose everyone else over me. I mean, you left me at the hospital today. We came in one car and you didn’t even let me know that you were leaving. I sat there waiting for you like an idiot for a long time, but you never showed. And you didn’t even have the decency to let me know that you left. I had to find out from Vicky when I went to ask her to page you. I found out that instead of waiting for me, you left with Mer and Izzie. So… I’m going to go stay with Cristina for a while.”

“Jo, stop!” Alex put down the glasses as Jo made her way to the drawer to collect her things.

She turned around to see Alex on one knee with a ring in his hand, “Oh my God. Alex.”

“Yeah?” his lips twitched in a little smile.

“What are you doing?” Jo looked at him with wide eyes.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Alex took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I left you, but I’ve been planning this night for weeks and was so caught up in trying to get everything perfect that I forgot we drove together today.” He took her hand in one of his. “Mer has been holding onto this thing for months now so that you wouldn’t see it in my underwear drawer and Izzie helped me make dinner since I don’t really know how to cook. I’m not replacing you with them or putting them first. I swear. I just couldn’t have you figure out what I was doing.” He paused and looked up at her. “I had a whole speech planned out, but I honestly don’t remember most of it right now.”

Jo let out a little laugh, “It’s okay.”

“But here’s the gist of it; I love you and I want to love you for the rest of my life,” Alex felt his eyes fill with tears. “I never thought I’d be lucky enough to find you and now that I have, I never want to be without you. I don’t know how some stranger in a diner could end up becoming my best friend, but I’m grateful that it happened because you changed my life. Jo, I love you and I love our life together, but I don’t want this to be it. I want so much more with you. So I guess what I’m asking is, will you do me the honor of becoming my life?”

“Yes,” Jo beamed brightly.

“Yes?” Alex’s jaw dropped.

“Of course it’s a yes,” Jo laughed. “Don’t look so surprised.”

“I’m just—I can’t believe you’re going to be my wife,” Alex’s grin grew. He took the ring from the box and slipped it on her finger. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

+ + +

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

+ + +

When talking about their wedding, Jo and Alex both agreed that they wanted it near the water at sunset. They had first gotten together on a secluded dock in Boston so it was only fitting that they get married near something meaningful. One day while talking about locations at Meredith’s, Shepherd suggested they try renting a ferry boat and the pair knew immediately that it was right for them.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect. The sun was setting on the water, casting pink and purple hues to paint the sky. The colors reflected beautifully against the water and gave everything a soft glow. Their guests were sitting comfortably on the deck of the boat awaiting the start of the ceremony.

Alex stood in front of the crowd of guests with Jackson and Meredith at his side, smiling brightly at their friend’s nervous fidgeting.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now,” Meredith leaned over and whispered in his ear. “Because it’s kind of two late for that. It would look really bad if I had to run out of here to start up the getaway car.”

“Shut up,” Alex chuckled. “I’m not having cold feet. I’m just… I can’t believe it. I’m getting married and I don’t know… Jo is going to look beautiful when she walks out here in her dress and I guess, I want to make sure I look nice for her.”

“Wow, you really are whipped, man,” Jackson teased. “It’s okay, though. I’ll give you a free pass since it’s your wedding day and all.”

“Whatever, Avery. You just wait until you find someone who-”

Alex was cut off by Bailey’s nudge, “Hush Karev. It’s about to start.”

Alex closed his mouth and nodded as Bailey smoothed out her dress for the hundredth time. He was grateful she’d said yes to officiating his and Jo’s wedding. Bailey had become one of the most important and influential people in their lives and she was honored when they asked her if she would marry them.

The music began and Izzie and Cristina made their way down the aisle as Lexie tossed yellow flower petals in the air from her spot off to the side. Jo took a couple deep breaths and she waited around the corner, making sure to steady herself before going out there.

“You ready Wilson?” Dr. Webber stood beside her with a soft smile on his face.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,” Jo’s face brightened in excitement. “And after today, it won’t be Wilson anymore.”

“Really now?” Webber’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “I wouldn't have thought you’d change it.”

“I never had a family name growing up. Wilson is something I made up along the way. Karev means something, though. It belongs to Alex, but now it’s mine, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“I’m happy for you,” Webber smiled. He held his arm out for her to hold on to. “I think it’s our turn.”

The moment was surreal. It was like in those movies when all time stops as the bride and groom get their first looks at each other and everything else fades away. But there’s no better way to describe the feeling of all your love for a person seeming to pour out of your chest. It was overwhelming, tear-inducing, and so incredibly wonderful.

So much of the following minutes were a blur until Bailey signaled that it was time to recite their vows, “Both Alex and Jo have prepared their own vows that they wish to share in front of us today. Alex, you will go first.”

“Huh?” Alex—who had been too busy admiring the woman in front of him—cleared his throat. “Oh, sorry. I got distracted.”

Their guests laughed at his honesty. He took a deep breath and began, “Jo. For the past six years, you have been my rock, my constant, my best friend. Every moment spent with you has been better than I could’ve ever hoped for. I knew from the minute you sat down at my table at the diner in Boston that you would be in my life forever. Maybe it was your smile or your laugh or something entirely out of my control, but that day I changed for the better, and it’s because of you. Now, we were idiots and didn’t say anything for over a year, but I’m happy that we didn’t. It gave me a chance to grow in love with you.”

“I still remember how I felt that day when we were sitting there by the water. I looked at you and I knew that you were it for me. I knew that I would love you for the rest of my life. And every time I look at you, it’s like the first time. So today, I stand here in front of our friends, our family, and promise to love you every day like it’s the last. I promise to be your anchor, your friend, anything you need me to be. All that I am and all that I ever will be is yours. I know it’s cheesy and I'm gonna get a lot of heat from our friends for saying it, but you hold my heart in your hands. I want to be with you, for better or worse, in sickness and in health… You made me a better man. You make me a better man every single day.  So, I vow to be that man for you until death do us part.”

Alex’s declaration had everyone’s eyes misting. It wasn’t often that they heard him speak so openly, so it was impacting when they witnessed the love he had for Jo.

Meanwhile, Jo was wiping away a couple tears that had escaped and struggling to compose herself. She let out a soft laugh, “Gosh, how do you follow that?” Their guests chuckled in response.

“Okay, here goes nothing,” Jo exhaled. “Alex. I love you. When I was a little girl I never dreamed that I’d be able to say that to someone so freely, much less have someone say it back. You entered my life in the most unexpected way, but I can’t imagine it without you. I never expected that the guy I met the summer before medical school would end up becoming my husband, but here we are, six years later, more in love than I ever thought possible.”

“When I think about our life together, I think of all the things we’ve had to overcome and the work it took to get here. I am by no means a perfect person, so today I vow to honor the journey that brought us here. I vow to love you even when I might not like you. I vow to be your partner. I vow to fight for us come hell or high water. I vow to be faithful, patient and supportive for the rest of my life. Because I used to have nothing, and then I met you. You gave me a place to belong, a family, love, and you remind me that I’m worthy of it every single day. Alex Karev, you are my soulmate, my heart, my home, and my very best friend. But most of all, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine, and I cannot wait to be your wife.”

“Can we have the rings?” Bailey asked, Meredith handing them to her. “Today, we use these rings to symbolize the unbreakable unity in this relationship and the never-ending love and commitment they have for each other.”

Bailey placed Jo’s ring in Alex’s hand and spoke, “Alex Karev. Do you take Jo Wilson to be your wife.”

“I do,” Alex smiled and slid the wedding band on Jo’s finger.

“And do you, Jo Wilson, take Alex Karev to be your husband?” Bailey repeated the motion and gave Jo, Alex’s ring.

“I super do,” Jo beamed and slid the ring on Alex’s finger.

“Well. Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

And for the first time, Jo and Alex knew without a shadow of a doubt that they’d make it.

+ + +

Do you believe it?

We're gonna make it now

Yes, yes, I can see it now

[frostedfaves]

A Night to Remember

Masterlist

Pairing: Rosa Diaz x fem!reader

Summary: In the freezing winds of winter, Rosa keeps you warm.

Warnings: alcohol use and mentions

A/N: this is sort of a prequel to the To Build A Home series, but can be read on its own, I think. I was reading those chapters and got inspired when Rosa mentioned the beach house vacation being the first time she realized she wanted a relationship with the reader, and decided to create that moment. would love to hear your thoughts!

-

“Mini cognac, ladies!” Terry cheered as he held up the tiny bottles, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you took one of them.

You were currently on your boss-free vacation with the squad that apparently included your boss for the first time ever. Taking a look around at the others as Holt led you on a lengthy walk along the frozen shore, you could tell that they were all were planning revenge on Jake for disrupting your getaway.

“Fuck, it’s so cold,” you complained under your breath, tucking your hands in your coat pockets along with your empty bottle as a shiver ran down your spine.

“That’s because you’re not wearing gloves.”

The sound of the voice, much closer than you usually heard it, froze whatever the cold air couldn’t reach. It’s not that you’d never spoken to Rosa before, but she’d never initiated conversation with you outside of a case. Truthfully you were a bit nervous about attempting to say anything back, but you swallowed it down. You can’t be afraid of your coworkers, no matter how gorgeous they are.

“I left them at home,” you explained, your eyes trained on the solid sand in front of your feet. “The car’s pretty warm and I didn’t expect the Captain to take us all on a winter hike.”

“Here, take mine.”

Your widened eyes traveled from her outstretched hand holding the fabric to her neutral expression focused on you, another shiver threatening to travel through you.

“You need them,” you countered, and she shook her head as she brought her hand closer.

“I’ll just tell my body to deal with it like I always do.”

“Okay...thanks.” You carefully took the gloves from her, trying not to react when your fingers brushed against hers.

“Feel better?” she teased lightly as she watched you slide the knitted material on with a satisfied sigh.

“A lot, actually. Thanks, Rosa.”

She responded with a nod, the ghost of a smile she’d graced you with slipping away as her usual stoic nature returned, and you took that as a cue of the conversation ending. You searched your brain quickly for something else to say, giving up once Amy danced her way back to your side and completely missing Rosa’s disappointed sigh.

-

“Eyes up here, Peralta.”

“Alright.”

Jake made a move to climb out of the hot tub that triggered everyone else to follow, the group slowly making their way back inside while you waited until Holt was almost gone to start climbing out.

“What was that about?”

You turned from grabbing your towel to meet Rosa’s eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You waited for Holt to leave.”

“Oh, well…” Your gaze dropped to your fidgeting fingers. “I heard what you said to Amy and it made me realize it did kind of feel odd to be in a bikini in front of my boss.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel self-conscious about it. You look incredible by the way,” she added, eyes widening when she noticed your shy smile. “Shit, sorry if that was weird.”

“No no,” you quickly assured her, laughing a bit. “If anyone’s being weird, it’s me. This is the most you’ve talked to me outside of work since I transferred and I don’t exactly know how to handle it.”

“I can back off a bit, if you want,” she told you with a smile that gave you reason to believe she didn’t want that, and you shook your head.

“Don’t...it’s nice.”

-

By nightfall, you were a mess of nerves and warmth, all thanks to Rosa. Since the moment by the hot tub, you’d finally begun to notice all her lingering glances, smiles she only directed to you and increased attempts at conversation. As much as it increased the anxiety you felt whenever you were in the same room, it also gave you the push you needed to approach her yourself.

“Hey,” you greeted Rosa as you sat next to her on the couch. “I wasn’t sure what you were drinking earlier, so I figured I couldn’t go wrong with this.”

“Thanks.” Another secret smile was sent your way as she accepted the beer you offered. “So where were you before you joined us?”

“I was with the 8-2, but I moved to a new apartment and wanted to work somewhere that wasn’t across town.” You crossed your legs on the couch as you shifted to face her instead of hiding, feeling a sense of something when she did the same.

“Moved that far for a change of scenery?”

“Nope, just the least crappy place I could find on such short notice.” You noticed her questioning gaze and sighed. “I’d just broken up with my girlfriend because she cheated on me, and we were sharing her apartment.”

“I’m sorry, that sucks.”

You let out a hum of agreement as you went to take a sip of your own drink, nearly choking when you felt her fingers brush your knee. You thought she’d pull away when she caught onto your shock, only surprising you further when she placed her full hand on top of your leggings.

“It’s okay.” A grin formed on your lips as you dared to rest your palm over her knuckles. “I’m grateful for any little moment in life that directed me to where I am now.”

“Alright, Boyle, Rosa and Amy are up.” 

You faced Jake as he entered the room, frowning and turning back to Rosa as she pulled you to your feet and forced you to follow her.

“Ames, you stay here. We got this.”

“Sure thing, sexy.”

You shook your head at your best friend’s drunken antics and Gina’s enthusiastic nature as she handed her another drink, giving your attention back to Rosa as she led you up the stairs.

“What’s the matter, Diaz? Can’t handle Holt’s boring discussion without me?”

Rosa let go of your hand to playfully punch you in the shoulder with a smirk, using the new environment to distract her from the thought that she never wanted to handle anything without you, now that you’d let her in. And perhaps with a little time and a lot of progression between the two of you, she eventually wouldn’t have to do so.

-

Tags: @creepingwolfberry @rosadiazswifey @milkfromhell @xetherealbeautyx @jay-is-groovy @gaulty74 @marie-03

[prorevenge]

Fired? Are you sure? OK.

Note 1: This story was told to me by a friend and is about her father. I won't be able to answer many follow up questions. It takes place around 2005. I believe the story to be true, but can't verify it, of course.

Note 2: This happens in Sweden, where there's no at-will employment. Once an employee is past the initial 6 month probation period, you can't fire them without a cause, which also requires an established paper trail.

Note 3: I am not a native English speaker, and professional terms may be wrong. I'm happy to take any corrections.

So, my friend's father (since retired) was a mechanical engineer. He was around 55 when this happened and VERY experienced in his field. In fact, he had some skill sets that were close to unique t the extent that you might be able to replicate them, but at extreme costs - we're talking multiple people from multiple companies from multiple countries taking weeks if not months to get up to speed with specific projects to do the same things.

He was also a no bullshit kind of guy who did his job, did it well but also pointed out problems and expected others to point out problems to him. He was extremely solution-oriented and had no time for office politics or "keeping a positive attitude" at work. Basically, your every day grumpy older engineer who really knew his thing and always ready to help if you asked, but not very forthcoming in team building exercises and so on.

He also ran his own business on the side, doing minor projects and so on. As was required by his employer, he had reported this and was sure to not cause any conflicts of interests, so his employer knew and accepted this.

He was considered a valuable employee and got several awards (that he cared little for, but anyway) during his many years with this employer. By all accounts, they paid him well, respected his knowledge and accomodated his style and he returned the favour by working very hard and making sure to mentor younger and newly employed engineers to make them effective co-workers.

Then his firm was acquired by a larger firm, and a new management team installed. Initally, everyone was promised that things would remain the same, but with the new management came a new office culture. The new management pressured for unpaid overtime, for a more "American" corporate culture with cheering and clapping and so on. He considered it extremely cringe and refused to participate. His status as a long-standing and knowledgeable employee kept him safe for some time, before the new management realised that resistance to the new "culture" centered around him and started pressuring him to play along. When he did not, they turned increasingly hostile, realising that he held a lot of "soft power" in the company, having mentored a large percentage of the engineers and resistance to their leadership centering around him. They started ordering him to work overtime, he answered that he was on time with his projects and that if they had identified an emergency requiring overtime, they would have to bring it up with the union to negotiate the over-time and make sure it was an actual emergency - the contract with the union said no over-time unless in an emergency. They tried to force him to participate in the cheering and clapping by making it mandatory for him to attend and yelling at him to participate and he did but so unenthusiastically that the event turned even more cringe and people started laughing.

The workday turned more and more hostile, and he knew that things would come to head sooner or later. Being an expeienced engineer and knowing how to document things, he already had his ducks in a row.

Then it finally happened - they caught him answering an e-mail for his side business on his work laptop, brought him in and fired him on the spot for theft of company resources. He sat at the conference table and looked the three managers in their eyes, one after the other and asked.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

They all said yes.

"Are you REALLY sure you want to do this?"

He was escorted to his desk by security to leave his phone, his badge and his computer at the desk and then escorted out.

Once out of the building, he phoned his union representative, who immediately cancelled the firing, claiming there was no just cause, which meant that it would go to the labour board for arbitration. You see, the company had an IT policy that it was ok to use the company laptop for personal business, including a side business, as long as you were on a break and compliant with IT security protocols, and the company was aware of and had approved his side business. And he was on a break. Of course, he had his declaration of a side business (signed by his former manager) and the IT policy available and sent both to the union representative.

Then he called his lawyer and asked him to send the pre-prepared cease and desist on two patents he held - patents that were not that significant and nothing he could make any serious money out of since they were mostly for very specific things used by the solutions he designed and used at his employer's, but still his that he had brought with him into the employment and allowed the employer to use in exchange for a slightly higher pay (all duly documented in his contract, of course).

Then he went home for some vacation and tending his side business. He was always a man to prepare and had enough money saved up to last him for a good time, to the extent that he considered retiring entirely. My friend said he had two job offers from competitors that had looked to sniping him for some time within the week - basically as soons as they learned he was available. He was gracious, but declined, but offered them to consult with his side business, now that he had the time, which they eagerly accepted - at twice the hourly rate he had made at his earlier employer's.

His colleagues started ringing the day after for advice, since the projects he had managed could not go on without him, he was perfectly polite, but denied any information and help, saying he had left everything he had with management and to contact them, as he was no longer employed there. Several clients that phoned his private number were told the same thing. Since his private number was not on a public registry, he suspected that both colleagues and clients spent some time and/or money to find it.

It took two weeks before a manager phoned him and asked things. He politely declined to answer, got yelled at and replied with something like "I am sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone who works for you." and hung up.

This happened a few times, and the next week HR phoned him and stated the firing had been a mistake and he was welcome back to his job. He again politely declined, saying that he awaited the labour board's decision, but until then he was happy to consult for them. At six times his hourly pay (after taxes and adminstrative costs, of course). After a few days of wrangling and trying to negotiate, they had to accept. And then he sprung the patent issue on them, forcing them to pay for those too. Less than two and a half week after being fired he was back at his desk.

After roughly three months, the firing came to the labour board. The employer stated that they believed they had handled the issue correctly, but were still willing to offer my friend's father his position back, in the interest of "good will" and "reconciliation". My freind's father and the Union simply stated that he was now employed elsewhere (his own company) and no longer available. The labour board ruled in my friend's father's and the unions favour, and he got the normal damages - 3 months pay damage and 24 months pay severance package, including pension and of course the lawyer costs of the Union.

According to my friend, her father continued to work there until he retired, working 20 hours or so per week and 10-15 hours for other companies, making a pretty penny, continuing to charge them three times what he charged their competitors as an "asshole tax".

The managers were not fired, but they were moved into their own group apart from the rest of the department when it came to bonus calculations and the costs of her father's consultancy fees and the costs of the labour board arbitration were budgeted there, meaning they were constantly over budget and thus uneligeble for bonuses for several years, which was a decent percentage of the incentives at that company, making at least one of them quit.

My friend also said her father usually met any management complaints with a big shit-eating grin and "What are you going do? Fire me?" after that.

(source) story by (/u/vonadler)

[ilovefandoms102]

Part 11- Shape of My Heart

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @sexualparkour @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams​ @judayyyw​ @lonely-kermit​ @gviosca​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @fernweh-fangirl​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @eb15​ @hurricane-abigail​ @tangledinsparkles​ @fandom-phaser​ @sunwardsss​ @http-cherries​ @bibliophilewednesday​ @evaporatedrosepetals​ @thetomatosaucee​ @tomatosauceagent​ @redosmo​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @obx-direction-sos​ @mxltifandoms06​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless​

Part 10 Part 12

Note: After crying over the last chapter, I was finally able to muster up this one. Also just in case anyone was wondering, we’re pretending COVID19 is nonexistent in this story because it would just ruin everything and I’m not about it!

=============================

It’s been a month and a half since Rudy told me about his short film, our conversations became less frequent which worried me deeply...

I didn’t want to drift apart from him, and that’s exactly what I feared was happening now. I tried to indulge into my school work, but it became harder to focus when I kept checking to see if I had a text or at least a SnapChat from him. I didn’t want to bother him by blowing up his phone either, becoming an annoyance he’d soon grow tired of. I expressed my concerns to both Maddie’s on our daily FaceTime call, hoping to get some reassurance for my MIA boyfriend.

“We’ve been in a lot of meetings with Jonas and Netflix to try and get season 2 of OBX approved, I don’t even know why we have to be there because they don’t really talk to us.” Maddi B commented.

“Plus Rudy has that short film on top of everything, so I imagine all of this is taking up his time. Don’t fret though, he said in our last meeting how horrible he felt that you all couldn’t talk as much with the both of you being so busy. He talks about you to everyone and how much he misses you.” Maddie C inputed.

“Awww, he’s so sweet. Maybe I am overthinking things, when I go to work tomorrow I’m demanding a week paid vacation because I need a break. Midterms are coming up and I’ve barely had any time to study.” I sighed.

“You need to focus on school, that’s the most important thing right now. You know Rudy would say the same, you need to take that week to relax and get everything in order.” Maddie B pointed out. 

“Yeah you’re right, jesus I forgot I have to fucking close at work tonight. I’m going to start applying to different places that actually care about their employees, and will work with school schedules.” I huffed, swinging my legs off of my bed.

“We’ll let you go then babe, love you!” Maddie B called, waving in the camera.

“Love you y/n!” Maddie C said, blowing a kiss in the camera.

“I love and miss you guys, I’ll see you later.” I smiled, hanging up.

=================================

Work was awful, being a shift manager was not all it was out to be. I hated dealing with difficult people and sometimes the other employees. I had just finished have a shouting match with this lady who was down right insulting both me and the other cashier working. I was so glad to be locking up once we closed, practically sprinting to my car, I was stopped by the cashier I had worked with tonight.

“Hey y/n, I-I was wondering you know if um..” he said.

Shit, I knew where this was going...

“Maybe we could hang out some time, I think you’re really pretty and uh...yeah I think we should get together more.” he spoke.

“That’s nice and all pal, but she has a boyfriend.” was heard from behind us.

I froze in my spot, tears coming to my eyes. I whipped around to see Rudy leaning against my car, his blue eyes zeroing in on the guy. He scurried off, leaving just Rudy and I.

“Hi baby,” Rudy spoke, a smile so wide on his face.

He looked different, having grown a mustache and slight beard. His hair was longer too, but still handsome as ever. I let out a watery laugh once I was out of my trance, blinking to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I dropped my stuff in front of my car, throwing myself in his arms.

“Oh my god, are you real? Are you really here?” I blubbered, pulling back to hold his face. He held me tight against him, combing some stray hair from my face.

“I’m here, you’re even more beautiful than I remember.” he gushed, beaming as he laid his forehead to mine.

“I look like shit Ru, I don’t even have makeup on.” I giggled, feeling his facial hair under my fingertips.

“You don’t need it, fuck I’m so happy to see you. I’m sorry we haven’t talked much, I’ve been so busy in meetings and filming.” he sighed, shaking his head.

“You came just at the right time, I have a whole week off of work.” I said, both of us grinning wide.

“Plenty of time for you to show me around then.” he smiled.

Rudy gripped my face in his hands, crushing his lips to mine. I had craved them for so long, having been deprived of the feeling. My heart went soaring, the feel of his facial hair tickling my skin. He moaned into my mouth, his hands moving to hold my hips to bring me closer. My fingers weaved their way into his now long blonde hair, tugging at the roots slightly. 

I pulled away once I became dizzy, pulling my hands back to caress his face. He gave me little kisses all over my face, fully caging me against him so I couldn’t move away. Rudy laughed along with me, pulling back fully now.

“Guess you’ll be my chauffeur for the week babe.” he smirked, opening my door for me.

I chuckled as I got in my car, Rudy jogging to the passenger side. He held my hand for the drive to my apartment, pulling it to his lips to kiss the back of it. We jammed out to some of our favorite songs, dancing crazy. I had the windows down so we could blast my speakers, probably waking everyone in the neighborhood up. Rudy even pulled out his phone to record us rapping Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice, he got embarrassed after the first chorus though because that was the only part he knew and I was still going.

“Ok show off, trying to outshine me on my own Insta story.” he scoffed teasingly.

“Not my fault you don’t know the lyrical poet Ru,” I joked, sticking my tongue out at him. 

===================================

I threw my bag on the end table as soon as we walked into the apartment, Rudy taking a walk around. He picked up pictures, looked at my bookcase, and even pulled out some of the books I had to skim through. I sat on my couch to flip through some movies for us to watch, not wanting to miss a single moment spending time with him. Rudy walked into my kitchen, opening my cabinets, and my fridge. 

“Baby, why don’t you have anything to like eat or drink?” he called from the kitchen.

“I uh...I couldn’t afford to go to the store this payday. I had to pay my rent and my car payment which is basically my whole check, and the rest is for gas to school and work.” I murmured, knowing he was going to be upset with me.

“So like...what do you eat then?” he asked, peaking his head around to look at me.

I stared at the floor, chewing on the inside of my cheek. I could feel his anger radiating off of him, the tension in the room becoming nerve wracking. I was a poor college student ok, I didn’t have the luxury of my parents buying my way through it. I was lucky some nights to even have stuff to make a fucking cheese sandwich.

“I...I don’t.” I confessed, hearing a sharp scoff come from Rudy.

“Get your shoes back on.” he demanded, snatching my keys.

“Wha-...Where are we going?” I questioned.

“This shit isn’t going to continue, not on my watch. I am seriously pissed you didn’t tell me this.” he snapped, taking me aback for a moment.

“It’s not that big of a deal, you’re being over dramatic! It makes me lose weight so what’s the fucking problem?!” I yelled, Rudy whipped his head around, his mouth hanging open.

“The fucking problem is that I’m not going to sit here and watch my girlfriend struggle when I can help. Let me help you and stop being so stubborn. If you want to lose weight for you then that’s fine, but I don’t want you to have it in your head that you need to do it for me. You’re perfect to me.” he stated, earning an eye roll from me. 

“Alright Ru, let’s get this over with.” I sighed, secretly melting at how sweet and thoughtful he is. 

===============================

Goofing off in the store was all fun in games until I saw him..

Nick.

The guy that shredded my heart, still yet to be fixed. The guy that messed me up so bad I never thought I was deserving of love until Rudy came into my life. Rudy was in the middle of talking to me when I abruptly spun around and high tailed it out of the aisle. 

“What’s wrong?” Rudy asked as soon as he caught up to me. 

“We need to leave.” I declared.

“Babe, we haven’t even made it through half the store I-” he spoke.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” someone said, my blood turning to ice. I turned around to see Nick with some of his friends, smirking at me. 

“Um..” I stuttered.

“Who’s blondie?” Nick scoffed, pointing at Rudy. 

“I’m her boyfriend.” Rudy said, glancing between the two of you. He must have put the pieces together from the very uncomfortable expression on my face.

“Boyfriend? Really y/n? You’re so desperate you hired someone to be your boyfriend? Pathetic really...” he laughed, his friends joining. I just wanted to ground to swallow me whole, I had to turn my head so they didn’t get the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

“You’re Nick, the piece of shit who thinks he can just toy with women how he pleases.” Rudy concluded.

“Guilty, y/n and I had a good run didn’t we?” Nick commented, going to touch my shoulder.

“You lay one finger on her and I swear to god you’ll regret it.” Rudy said, his voice going an octave lower. 

“Oh please man, you seriously don’t have to keep your act up. How much is she paying you?” Nick asked, tilting his head.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but this isn’t an act.” Rudy hissed.

“Guys that look like us man don’t go for fat chicks.” Nick chuckled.

“The fuck did you just say?” Rudy bellowed, getting in Nick’s face. I had to intervene now, I couldn’t risk a fight in the middle of the store.

“Rudy please, he’s not worth it.” I said, tugging on his sleeve.

“Nice seeing you again y/n, remember what I said last time we spoke.” Nick cackled, leaving with his posse.

“What did that fucker say to you?” Rudy inquired, his chest heaving with anger.

“I’ll tell you when we get back, let’s just go to a different store.” I offered, checking out whatever we had in hand before heading to the car.

================================

Rudy spent way more than I told him he could, but I wasn’t surprised he didn’t listen to me. It took us four trips to carry in all the stuff we bought, I’m sure I’d be stocked up for a year now. I was seriously exhausted, and my mood hadn’t gotten any better since our run in with Nick. Rudy had tried to cheer me up, but I think he knew that my mood wouldn’t be saved tonight.

I planned on taking a quick shower, but I couldn’t stop my mind running through my past. My chest started to burn, my hand came over my mouth to conceal my sobs. I had hoped the water would drown out my cries, but Rudy still heard them. He shed his clothes and jumped in the shower, taking me in his arms. I leaned my head on his chest as I sobbed, his lips moving to kiss my wet hair. 

“I don’t understand! What did I ever do to deserve that!? I did everything for him! I was some sick game our whole relationship, how fucked up is that?” I laughed humorlessly.

“What did he say to you?” he inquired.

“He told me that I would never find someone to love me, that I was undeserving of love, and that I was the ugliest being on this Earth who was stupid to think I ever stood a chance with him.” I recalled.

“That’s fucked up, you should have let me beat his ass.” Rudy muttered, switching places with me so he could wash his hair.

“He’ll get his karma one day, someone will shred his heart beyond repair just like he did mine.” I whispered.

“I’ll have the best time repairing it then,” Rudy shrugged, leaning to plant a sweet kiss to my lips.

“Are you sure you want to go through that Rudy, I-I’m not...I’m not as happy go lucky as everyone thinks I am, I’m broken deep on the inside.” I said, shaking my head as I looked down to the tile.

“I wouldn’t of chased after you if I didn’t want all of you.” he spoke, tilting my chin up.

“Well I guess so but-” I started.

“It’s you and me against the world, no one will ever compare to you y/n.” he inputted. 

I kissed him hard, a moan leaving his lips. He pinned me against the wall, showing me exactly what I meant to him....