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bre-meister · 4 years ago

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Grandpa Barry

a not so short fluffy one-shot based off of an old offhanded comment by @onehelluvafirstdate that kinda just stuck with me

Holidays for the Butron’s had become more than just family affairs. For several years prior to the events at the Spencer Mansion, the Redfield siblings had begun to join them for these types of events after their parent’s deaths. However, after the mansion incident, the large scale outbreak that was Racoon City, and the countless other BOW incidents that had occurred since family holidays had extended well past just the family.

Thanksgivings and Christmases and Fourth of July’s had become celebrations of more than just that particular holiday. They were a celebration of another year lived, another attack survived, and sometimes, celebrations of another survivor added to their small but growing group of what they considered to be extended family.

This particular Thanksgiving was no different and so, the Burtons found themselves preparing to host their extended family for dinner, drinks, and overall good times. Not everyone was always able to attend - their common line of work never really took holidays into consideration - but this year they’re gearing up for an unusually good turnout.

Chris arrives first, as always. Early in order to help set up. The man can’t cook for shit so he brings drinks - both alcoholic and non-alcoholic - for his contribution to the large meal. Rebecca is next along with Sherry and Jake. Quite frankly, Barry was surprised they’ ed convinced the kid to come but, at the same time, the older man was fairly sure Jake would do anything for Sherry if she just asked. The three had brought different desserts that were most probably store-bought. Barry could already see Rebecca’s hand slowly drifting up to the pair of dog tags that hung around her neck - it would become more evident as the night wore on.

Next are Jill and Carlos, the latter of which has just been a recent addition to these types of celebrations despite having known Jill since Racoon. They arrive with a dish that smells heavenly and was most definitely prepared by Carlos. Jill, like Chris, was poorly adept in the kitchen.

Last to arrive was Leon and Claire along with their ever-growing brood. Isabelle seemed to be barley restraining herself, a ball of excitement ready to burst at the seams.

“Hi, Grandpa Barry!”

Barry smiled at the little girl. She had been calling him ‘Grandpa” for as long as he could remember and, seeing as the kid had no real grandparents in her life, he and his wife had taken on the pseudo roll eagerly.

“Hey kid,” Barry ruffled her hair, “how’s it going?”

“Great!” she giggled. Pleasantries out of the way, Isabelle moved on to her main prerogative,

“Are Sherry and Jake here yet?”

For some reason, Izzy had taken quite the shining to her older sister’s new boy toy. Jake, for his part, seemed to have begrudgingly accepted his newfound role as ‘big brother’ to the Kennedy kid. Barry supposed that Izzy had never really given him a choice.

“They are. In fact, you guys are the last to get here.”

Isabelle pouted before turning to her mother who had been hanging up their coats by the door.

“I told you, Mamma, we’re always late.”

“We’re not late Izzy. Dinner isn’t anywhere near ready yet so you have plenty of time to play with Sherry and Jake.”

Izzy harrumphed before running off to the living room where she assumed everyone else would be. Claire sighed before turning to their host.

“Hey, Barry.” She smiled and accepted the hug that Barry was offering her. She registered Leon scolding Izzy for not taking her shoes off before running further into the house.

“Leon.” Barry moved on to the younger man, waving at little Olivia who was snuggled up in her Daddy’s arms.

“Barry.”

This was usually how things were. The two would act aloof until Claire has moved out of earshot and Barry could well and truly find out how Leon was doing.

“Kathy is in the kitchen, said to send you in once you got here.”

“Oh, of course.” Claire looked between the two men and pretended not to know what was going on. She pecked Leon on the lips and tickled Olivia’s belly before heading towards the kitchen to help Kathy with the dinner.

“Sorry, we didn’t bring anything this year. Claire’s had her hands full with her job and the girls while I was gone and since I got back a few days ago things have been a little out of whack.” Leon chuckled.

“Don’t worry about it kid.” God, Barry thought, am I really so old that I’m calling everyone kid?

“Anyway,” Barry said, “how’s the family life treating ya?”

Leon knew Barry wasn’t really asking about the ‘family life’. But it was just easier sometimes to talk in innuendos and code words what with little ears around. In this case, the family life really meant the sober life. The special agent looked down at a specific pair of little ears before answering. Liv was currently clinging to Leon like her life depended on it. Both girls were always a little clingy when he returned from long missions but Liv tended to take the term ‘Daddy’s girl’ to a new level.

The three-year-old had only let go of the man long enough for both of them to take their coats off. What Barry noticed though, was that Leon seemed to be holding on to Olivia just as desperately.

“Family life is... It’s ah, a little hard sometimes. But I’d never go back.”

Barry smiled but nodded. Motioning for Leon to follow, he made his way into the living room to join everyone else.

“Hi, Livy!” Moira said, waving enthusiastically at the little girl.

“Hi,” Liv said in a small, quiet voice

“Come play with us!” Natalia called from where she and Moira were stationed in front of a dollhouse.

Barry’s adopted daughter loved playing with Olivia whenever she got the chance. She once told him that it was because she had fun playing with ‘babies’ which, Barry thought was a little funny considering that, at only eleven, Barry still very much saw Natalia as barely more than a baby himself. He supposed he should work on that, the girls as growing up every day - thriving, even, in a stable environment with what is probably the closest to a normal life she’d ever had.

Olivia shook her head at Natalia’s invitation to play. Instead, she buried her head even further in her father’s shoulder.

“Common Liv, we have a special doll just for you.” This time it was Moira trying to do the convincing, even going as far as to use a sing-song voice.

All she garnered was another head shake.

“I’m sure your sister is having a lot of fun with Sherry and Jake,” Barry motioned to where the three were making various buildings and figures out of Leggos, “I think you’d have a lot of fun.”

“Jake could use some help over here Liv, I think you should come show him how its done.” Sherry chimed in.

“What? No I -” Jake’s cry of indignation was cut off by Sherry’s elbow to his side. “ I’m real lost here, Oliva. Sherry’s right.”

“ I stay with Daddy.”

A round of soft laughter went through the room at that. Barry shared a knowing look with his wife before holding his arms out to the little girl who looked at him skeptically,

“Common sweetie. I’m sure you’ve been attached your Daddy since he’s been back. Why don’t you spend some time with Grandpa for a bit? I feel like I haven’t seen your cute little face in ages!”

Olivia didn’t say anything. Instead, she just looked at Barry in that way kids were so good at like he was spewing a load of fresh bullshit.

“It’s fine Barry.” Leon’s response saw Olivia snuggles back into her father, content to be in his arms.

“Well, she can’t stay with you forever kid, gotta learn sometime - both of you. Why not now when you won’t be any further than a room away.”

“I’m with you Barry, I tell Leon all the time he coddles her too much,” Claire said. From her spot in the kitchen, she had a clear view of what was going on in the living room.

“Is it really coddling though? I was gone for almost two weeks.” Leon’s defense was weak sounding.

“And we both know you could be gone longer at the drop of a hat. That’s just the life we live and when she refuses to be put down and you refuse to put her down, you make my life harder when Daddy inevitably has to leave again. Barry’s still got my vote. She’s gotta learn.”

“Common, Chris, Carlos, if you guys were in my situation you’re telling me you guys wouldn’t do the same thing.”

“ Sorry bro, as much as I love to disagree with my sister, she’s kinda right.” Chris’s reply was definitely not what Leon was looking for so the blonde man turned to Carlos for his support.

“Look man, I’d be the first to admit that if I ever had kids it would be hard for me to ever deny them anything.” Leon lit up at that and everyone else pretended to ignore the quick look Carlos shot Jill as he finished his statement.

“But,” Leon seemed to visibly deflate as Carlos continued, already knowing where this was going - not in his favor “ that doesn’t mean they aren’t right.”

“Thank you!” Claire interjected.

“Well, I think it’s cute.” Rebecca proudly stated.

At that Caire stepped fully out of the kitchen and pointed a pair of tongs at Rebecca who had been nursing a glass of something strong by the fireplace.

“You say that now. Wait until you find someone and have a few kids of your own. As cute as it is, your tune will change real quick.”

Rebecca let out a little laugh as Claire returned to the kitchen but it sounded a little forced, hand drifting back up to the dog tags around her neck.

“Hand her over, Leon. She’ll be fine.”

Reluctantly, Leon did as he was told. Olivia did not go quietly, the beginnings of a tantrum becoming evident as she was handed off to her ‘grandpa’.

“Oh stop acting up baby girl, you’re just fine!” Claire’s voice carried sweet but stern from the kitchen.

Olivia quieted at her mother’s words but still hadn’t silenced her whimpers. Leon looked about ready to cave.

“I have three kids Leon and more years of experience. Trust me, I’ve got this. Now, Livy and I are gonna go read a nice story and I’m sure Kathy and Claire could use some help.” Barry said with a smile.

“ Leon, could be a dear and go bring the cooler in from the garage?”

“Of course Kathy.”

“Oh, you might need some help. It’s not exactly small and Barry already put the ice and some drinks in.”

“I got you.” Carlos squeezed Leon’s shoulder as he passed, effectively turning the man away from Olivia and punching him in the direction of the garage.

“Thanks, boys!” Kathy called after them.

Olivia got a little angsty once Leon was out of her sights but soon Barry had her thoughts away from her missing Daddy and onto The Cat in the Hat. They got through three more books - Olivia entranced by the pictures in on each page - before eventually going off to color with Polly who had brought out some of her colored pencils, crayons, and old coloring books.

Olivia even convinced her Uncle Chris to come color with her ( and he’d never admit it to Leon but, when those large blue eyes were turned on him Chris knew he wouldn’t be able to say no).

When Claire and Kathy called that dinner was ready to be served Leon took that as his cue that ‘separation’ time was over. He collected Izzy first, watching to make sure to washed-up properly before helping her to make a plate.

“ Do you want ham or turkey, Princess?”

“ Ham, please. Daddy, I don’t want green beans.” Isabelle made a face as Leon scooped some onto the plate, ignoring her protest.

“ I know, but remember what we talked about?”

Isabelle sighed, “No green beans, no desert.” The girl had a sweet tooth that could rival her mother’s and her parents tended to use that to their advantage.

Leon chuckled, bringing the plate over to the smaller table just to the side of the main one in the dining room. Their found family was getting too big for everyone to sit at the dining table, so they had resorted to setting up a table for the youngest of the group to sit.

Izzy seemed to accept her fate as she sat Jake at the table, giggling as he too joked about being forced to eat his vegetables in return for dessert. Sherry always volunteered to sit with the kiddos along with Moira and Polly and wherever Sherry went, Jake went. Leon shot the kid a look, it seemed that two of his girls had taken quite a shining to him and it was safe to say that he wasn’t too pleased with it. Rationally, he knew that Sherry was old enough to make her own decisions and Izzy most likely just had a silly schoolgirl crush that would go away with time. But Leon didn’t want to think rationally right now.

He was interrupted from his thoughts as he heard Claire playfully inspecting Olivia’s hands.

“Did you get ‘em all clean, baby?”

“Uh-huh. Uncle Chris help me!”

“Did he sing you your song?” Claire asked teasingly. Olivia just giggled while nodding her head yes.

“He did, did he?” Claire sent a shit-eating grin to her brother who quickly excused himself to the table.

“You do it better, Mommy.” Claire laughed before kissing her little girl’s bleach blonde hair. Leon was convinced it would darken over time, just like his had.

“Come here little bug, let’s get you something to eat.”

Leon helped Liv just as he had with Izzy. Once she’d had all she wanted on her plate, as well as some vegetables she didn’t, he made to set her up next to her sister at the other table.

“Daddy, no!”

Leon was prepared for this, it happened every time. Liv wouldn’t want to sit with the other kids, no, she always much rather stay with her Daddy. So, safe to say he was more than taken aback by Livy’s next words.

“ I sit with Grandpa.”

It was as if the whole room went silent at Olivia’s request, even Izzy stopped her laughing and was looking at her little sister with a shocked expression.

“ I - um… you’d have to ask Grandpa.”

Olivia wasted no time running over to Barry where he sat at the head of the table.

“Grandpa, I sit with you?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

Barry lifted the little girl onto her lap. She settled in with a little giggle and Leon felt his heart both swell and break at the sound. This was what they were trying to achieve the whole night, right? He voiced such out loud when Claire came over to ask if he was ok.

“Ya but, it doesn’t mean it would hurt any less. That was a hard reject, Kennedy.” Jill said.

“Jill.” Carlos gently admonished.

“What? Are we all just supposed to sit here and pretend like that didn’t just happen? I mean, no offense to you Leon but that was the funniest thing I’ve seen all night.” Jill laughed again.

“You know Jill, I never took you as one to languish in someone else’s pain. Hats off to you.”

Jill raised her wine glass to Jake in acknowledgment of his comment. Claire took Liv’s plate out of Leon’s hand and placed it in front of the little girl. She then began to make up another one with all of Leon’s favorites.

Putting down the plate in front of an empty chair she motioned for Leon to come and sit.

“Why don’t you come eat something, honey.”

Leon could tell that even Claire felt a little bad for him - she only calls him ‘honey’ when she does. She even kissed his cheek as he pulled a chair out for her before sitting down like she’d suggested.

“It’s fine,” he lied, “I don’t get why you guys are making such a big deal out of this.”

“If he’s acting this way now imagine how he’ll act once they start dating.” Rebecca whisper yelled to Chris who was seated next to her.

Chris almost choked on his drink, laughing at the image of Leon’s suffering.

“Hey, he hasn’t said anything about Jake yet!” Sherry’s attempt at defending Leon was not appreciated by Jake who shot her a scathing look.

“Only because I haven’t had the chance yet. It’s coming, Shelly.” Leon turned to look at the two adults in question as he said it.

Sherry blushed - whether, from the use of his old nickname for her or from the thinly veiled threat, he wasn’t exactly sure. Jake let out a withered sigh before turning back to his food. Eventually, everyone else took pity on Leon’s poor soul and did the same. That, or they just got tired of making fun of him - with people like these for family one never could be too sure.

Dinner continued with much merriment; teasing abounded but not all at the expense of Leon. Once the word was out that Rebeca had been curbing advances from several men she had met at her new job the table was divided - some teasing and encouraging her to go for it, others defending that she didn’t have to. By the end of it, the dog tags had ended back up in her hands. Rebecca then flipped it on the perpetually single Chris who, in turn, threw Jill and Carlos under the bus. The friendly banter then shifted to their undefined relationship status. All the while laughter continuously flowed from the table along with the occasional interjection from Moira, Polly, or Sherry. Jake mainly sticking to entertaining the kids.

By the end of the night, Leon found himself with an arm around Claire��s shoulders and Livy sitting in his lap - two out of three of his girls snuggled up against his chest, still seated at the table. Olivia had migrated back to her Daddy when she had started to get tired and Leon would be lying if he said it hadn’t made him feel miles better. Number three wasn’t far behind.

“Daddy, are we going home soon?”

Leon could see the tiredness almost radiating off of his daughter. Izzy had run off her sugar high from dessert and looked like she was ready to drop right there in front of him.

“Soon, Princess.” he shifted Livy in his lap to make room for Izzy.

It always took a little finagling to fit both Isabelle and Olivia on his lap but, somehow, they always seemed to make a way. Izzy climbed up and Leon felt content - belly full of good food, surrounded by family and good conversation, and most importantly, his little family wrapped safely in his arms.

They stayed like that for a while. Eventually, Chris, Carlos, and Jill began to clear the table. They made their way to the kitchen with the intent to clean up and give Kathy a break since she and Claire were the main ones who set everything up.

Leon could hear his wife sigh,

“It’s late. We should get the girls home.” except she made no move to do that, instead she buried her face in his neck and took in a deep breath letting out an even deeper sigh.

Eventually, Izzy began softly snoring. Leon and Claire knew they couldn’t put off heading home any longer - the drive wasn’t long but it wasn’t exactly short either and the girls should be sleeping in their own beds where it was more comfortable.

Between the two of them, they were able to get the girls into their shoes and jackets and then into their car seats with minimal trouble. They said their goodbyes outside by the car. Promises to do it again for Christmas were made but they were all taken with a grain of salt. One never knew when Leon would be called away on a mission or when Claire would be needed for some Terrasave function or clean-up job.

“I hope you enjoy being ‘grandpa’ to those cute little girls ‘cause you sure aren’t getting any grandkids from me anytime soon.”

“Good.”

Barry turned away from watching Claire and Leon drive away to look down at his oldest daughter. She looked back up at him. All was silent for a moment until the two broke out into easy laughter. He guided her back into the house, closing the door and effectively blocking the cold out.

As Barry held his own daughter close he looked around at everyone left. Natalia sleeping on the couch, Sherry and Jake whispering in a not-so secluded corner. Rebecca had joined the cleanup crew in the kitchen after having seen off the Kennedy clan. His eyes met his wife’s who was still seated at the table enjoying a slice of pie with Polly.

Barry knew that in the world they lived in, one couldn’t be certain of many things. But, he also knew that he could be certain of this - family wasn’t just defined by blood. Barry didn’t know what the future held, no one did. What they did know, however, was that their family was always changing - in size and look. But, they would always be there, especially on holidays like this, to remind one another that they were alive, that they had all made it through another year. They would be there to remind each other that there was still love and kindness in this dark world worth fighting for, and they did it in what seemed like the easiest, most simple way - by loving each other.

#Cleon #Cleon fic #cleon babies #resident evil #brief appearance of Valenveira #My writing #i had to write some fluff so I could write the angst later #Thanks to everyone in the discord for the great headcannons

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ohnoiyo-yoyle · 4 years ago

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BFB 23 SPOILERS!!!!

Part 2 of the last post!!

First of all

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA ^^^^^^^^^^

I AM SO HAPPY THEY ARE FRIENDS AGAIN LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE TO BE EITH EACH OTHER AGAIN OMGGGGG

*ahem*........moving on

200 year old steam train......yeah, that sounds safe

Yeah that definitely looks safe. AND fun!!

Fingerguns Firey is something I didn’t know I needed

Ayy!!! Callback to season one with the wall with the boxing gloves

Wow! Good idea Woody!!

Woody and Blocky bonding is the best

Loop de loop

“Hah! that was so scary I even heard Teardrop scream!” *gasp!* “|:| 😔 👈” “ME?!? Why you pointing at me?!?” She’s calling you a liar ya big goof

clip

“AAHHH” *thunk* “aahhh”

angery

Ha it’s even cropped like a movie screen to match the color palette change

Flower is like some kind of diety with the insane power to know when and who is talking shit behind her back

And considering she started a cult I guess it just sorta fits

“I feel a disturbance in the force”

oh no

O H NO

I guess this is where the Boyinaband song comes in huh?

Out of all things this episode I didn’t expect Jacknjellify and Boyinaband to do a collab but here we are I guess

Steamy

Flower go z o o m

Lollipop plugging in her brand

Flower really said “talk shit, get hit” huh

Oh.... Oh no

OH!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS HIM!!!!!!!! ITS REALLY HIM OH MY GOSH!!!!!

“Oh dear, these purple monsters be crazy.”

Well, I guess the sweaters are good for something

“Hup hup hup hup hup hup”

Teardorp

“HeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEYYY stop that!!”

Where did that jail cell even come from?? Did Four just build it himself specifically for the challenge???

Oh my gumdrop

“YIPPEEE!!!!!”

“WHAT?!??!??” He’s so confused omg

Woody and Blocky bonding!!!!!

Ooooh and the voting icons got updated!!! They’re so much more detailed and cool!!!

At least Bubble likes the sweater

You gotta admit, even though Flower was kicking everyone who insulted her sweaters, she did spend the time and resources to make one for everybody

Purpleface and Flower business partnership!?!

Oh my god they’re so dramatic

FLOWER!?!? BANKRUPTCY!!?!?? HAHAH

OHMYGOD HAHA

Anyways, needless to say, overall good episode

#bfb #bfdi #battle for dream island #battle for bfdi #battle for bfb #bfb 23 #bfb 23 spoilers #bfb spoilers #ramble

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walkerismychoice · 4 years ago

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Unwritten - Chapter 3

Book: Platinum

Pairing: M!Raleigh X MC

Rating: This series will contain mature themes. Any necessary warnings will be listed before each chapter, but the overall series rating is 18+

Series Summary: Newly discovered talent Aria Campbell get unknowingly assigned to help write Raleigh Carerra’s latest album and rehabilitate his image in the process.

Summary: Aria is ready to start writing. Raleigh? Not so much.

Chapter Warning: Hints at excessive drinking/alcohol abuse

Word Count: 1750

Master List

She should really go back out there and try to start writing. They only have six weeks to write enough songs to fill an entire album. Then again, six weeks is kind of a long time. What’s a little bit longer?...

Aria picks up the flip phone from her nightstand. She would just text, because who actually likes to talk on the phone anymore, but texting without a keyboard is hardly worth the effort. Seriously, why do they still make cell phones like this? Her finger hovers over the call button momentarily, and then makes the call.

Several rings go by before Aria hears an agitated voice on the end of the other end of the line. "How many times do I have to tell you to take me off your list? How can my car warranty be expired when I don't even own a car?"

"Shane! Wait, don't hang up," Aria pleads into the phone. "It's me!"

"Aria? What are you-" His angry tone gives way to confusion. "Whose number is this and where are you? Wait, are you doing your writing thing? Tell me who you are writing with - is it Avery Willshire?"

If only, she think to herself, hesitating a moment before replying. "I can't tell you that. It's in my contract. If it were to get out, they'd kill me."

"Who are they, the mob?" Shane chuckles. "How many years have we been friends? You know you can trust me. And besides, I had to sign an NDA to be on your contact list, if you go down. I'm going down with you."

"Well that's reassuring," she answers dryly. Sure Shane's in film school and could be the next big director, but as of right now he's unknown, and Aria's got a lot more to lose. But he's right. They tell each other everything and she knows she can trust him. "Fine. But you can't tell anyone."

"Promise."

Aria inhales sharply. “It's...Raleigh Carrera."

"No fucking way!" Shane practically screams into the phone. "Binge drinking, property destroying, R&B singing Raleigh Carrera? You writing for him is...unexpected."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." She replies dryly.

“Ari, you know what I mean. You're more indie pop, with meaningful lyrics. He sings about getting laid in the club. You've never so much as had a tardy at school, and he's got quite the bad boy reputation.”

"Yes, Shane, I know I'm a boring, wholesome girl from the Midwest.”

“No, no! I just don’t want you to have to sacrifice your integrity. It can’t be easy to make sure your voice is heard with with someone like that.”

“I’m a big girl. I can handle myself,” Aria asserts trying more to convince herself than anyone else. It’s not like she hasn’t feared what Shane has said and more ever since she got here. But she’s determined to fake it until she makes it as they say.

"I know you are. I've seen it in action - like when you dumped that smoothie on Chad's head because he made a comment about your ass."

"Oh my god. I can't believe I didn't get fired for that." Aria laughs genuinely for probably the first time today.

They continue on their path down memory lane until Aria's cheeks hurt from smiling, and she finally says goodbye.

"Maybe I should just call mom first," she ponders out loud before thinking better of it. Things ended on a high note with Shane, and she doesn't need get all homesick and weepy right now. She supposes it's time to face the music - literally.

Aria peeks in the open doorway across the hall, and Raleigh's room is empty. She checks the main areas downstairs, but all is quiet. Finally she looks out the the beachside picture window to see a human form spread out on the sand.

As she heads out and towards the beach, she makes out a familiar object next to Raleigh and rolls her eyes. Apparently he has no plans to fully sober up before starting to drink again.

His eyes are closed as she approaches, and when she calls out his name, he doesn't stir. She won't shake him awake because that feels a touch too intimate for someone she just met. Especially someone of his status, lying their shirtless in the sand, a sheen of sweat glazing over the tattoos covering his neck and torso. Ugh stop ogling him, she thinks to herself. You hate tattoos and he's an ass. Aria grabs the bottle of rum and jabs him in the side.

"Huh?" Raleigh jolts upright and frantically looks whips his head around until he gets his bearings. "Oh, it's you." He grabs the bottle from her and takes long swig.

"Bacardi straight from the bottle in the middle of the day? Doing your best to live up to the cliché rockstar lifestyle, huh?” She immediately regrets the words and wonders if she went too far.

He shrugs it off with a laugh and points the bottle at her. "Want some?"

"No." She scrunches her nose and shakes her head. Sipping straight out of the bottle is not her style. Not to mention they're supposed to be working and she prefers to write with a clear head.

"I guess Learning How to Party Like a Rock Star 101 is not part of a music major’s curriculum. You could use some real-world instruction from Professor Carrera." Raleigh teases.

"Haha, very funny.” Wait, how does he know she majored in music? Probably just a lucky guess. "Anyway, I came out here to see if you wanted to get started."

"Nah, I'm good." He takes another pull from the bottle. "I like to write when the mood strikes. If you're so moved though, feel free to whip something up on your own. I really don't give a shit what's on this crap album anymore."

Her blood is boiling now, and she fights a juvenile urge to kick sand in his face and stomp away. "That's not how this works. If they wanted me to just write everything on my own, I could have done so from the comfort of my own home rather than being stuck here with you."

And there it is again - that mischievous twinkle in Raleigh's eye. And before she has much time to worry about what it means, Raleigh's up and scooping her off her feet. He runs towards the water as Aria yells at him to put her down to no avail, and once the water level reaches his knees, a wave hits, sending them toppling under.

Before Aria can get her bearings, she feels Raleigh’s firm grasp pulling her upright. She wipes the seawater from her eyes to see Raleigh standing there with a big shit-eating grin, his hands still bracing her arms to keep her steady. Maybe if she wasn’t so pissed off at his antics she’d notice the slight tingle where her skin was touched by his, but then again she might just attribute that to the chill from the cool water.

She shrugs out of his hold with an exasperated groan. “Why are you such an asshole? I know you don’t want to be here with me, but this wasn’t my idea. You don’t have to take it out on me.”

“Relax, Ice Queen. I’m just trying to thaw you out a bit. We’ll both have a much better time here if you can learn to have fun.”

“Ugh! I’m not..” That remark cuts Aria deep, more than Raleigh could possibly know. “Maybe if you actually agreed to do some work with me, I’d be more in the mood to have some fun.

Raleigh looks her up and down with an undiscernible expression that makes her uneasy before plopping back down on his towel and putting his sunglasses on. “We’ll just have to see about that.”

Fiona looks up from her laptop and spots Raleigh and Aria emerging from the ocean and engaging in what looks to be an intense conversation. The guest house has a spacious wraparound porch with cushy patio furniture. If she’s got to be stuck somewhere on glorified babysitting duty, as if she’s got no other clients and nothing better to do, it’s not a terrible place to be. At least there’s wifi and she can keep working on her projects with other artists on the label.

She’d been skeptical, to put it mildly, when Ellis brought Aria in to discuss working with Raleigh, and based on his initial reaction this morning, she wouldn’t have been surprised if Aria had tried to quit on the spot. Sure Raleigh getting wasted on the beach and throwing his writing partner in the water day one would look bad by anyone else’s standards, but Fiona’s know him a long time. The fact that that he’s engaging at all is a good sign. Maybe that little chat she had with him earlier stuck.

“Looks like things are going as well as can be expected with those two.” Fiona muses aloud. Hank stands and watches attentively, arms folded across his chest. You’d think he was guarding the President with how serious he takes his job. There’s not another human in sight aside from the four of them. He weighs his words before responding. “It seems so, ma’am.”

“Eww, don’t call me ma’am.” Fiona visibly shudders. “We’ve worked together for years now. You can call me Fiona. And anyway, nobody is around. You don’t have to take your job so seriously here. Why don’t you go grab a beer.”

Frank tugs at the knot in his tie. Yes, he’s still wearing his suit and tie - at the beach. “Drinking on the job would be unprofessional, ma-, I mean Fiona.”

"Okay then," she utters under her breath. It says something that self-described workaholic Fiona is the fun one here, but if she's going to make it through this period of time without dying of boredom, getting Frank to loosen up might just be the side-project she needs. Maybe he'll even take his tie off at some point. Fiona looks back to the beach where Raleigh is sunbathing and Aria is nowhere to be seen. "Would it be unprofessional of me to run out there and smack him upside the head?"

"Yes, I believe so," he replies dryly, but Fiona can detect the corners of his mouth curving upward ever so slightly. There might be hope for him yet.

#playchoices fanfic #platinum #raleigh carrera #raleigh x mc #fiona x hank #tw alcohol

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 4 years ago

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Denmark brings the non-modern 80s sound to Rotterdam 2021

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Filler review in between me doing a shit ton of things at the same time and saving two of the writeups I at least wanted to do before Semi 1 or so, plus there’s a Turquoise carpet underway. Lessgooooooo Denmark

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Fyr og Flamme is a collective of two men, singer Jesper Groth and instrumentalist Laurits Emanuel. Together they don’t have much history as they formed in the Ben & Tan year 2020, but they have a couple of succesful (and their only prior to Eurovision) singles under their belt already, like, their first one, titled “Menneskeforbruger”, reached number one on a Danish radio top list once. Prior to the DMGP lineup release, amidst a bunch of few song and talent show wonders, they were the only act I’ve heard of and coincidentally even liked their music somewhat.

Their song, titled “Øve os på hinanden”, is about dancing. Fitting because their entry, which is more of an 80s rehash than an 80s throwback (as in, 80s but with a little something modern a la Dua Lipa), is all about the groovy music that would probably come all out after disco decade became over. Moreso, dancing of two partners and practicing the dancing on each other, somewhat. Lyrics are in Danish - first time a Danish entry is fully in Danish since 1997! History right there! Most other acts would mostly translate their Danish song into English once the language rule went abolished, but not these guys, because why they need to do a TIX and make an English song in their 3 song discography anyway. Good ^^

REVIEW

Sounds like one of those songs this year that can elicit the “guilty pleasure” reactions. Like Poland, which is mine. But for me Denmark is an actual pleasure, in a way?

The instant intro of the first few seconds really makes it a good blast of energy, because who isn’t resisting towards a nice little 80s synth. I don’t really fancy the verses being in a major key but they still feel very 80s in nature. And the chorus is really catchy, and so is the bridge, which is kinda maybe the best part of the song alongside the instrumental super 80s bits. I don’t know if Jesper is able to emulate an 80s vocal sound with his voice, but the whole band at least looks their part, at the very least, for Eurovision?

It also incorporates clapping. Just for the edgy “I don’t clap along to Soldi but I will clap to this” crowds out there. I love me some Eurovision clap songs.

But Denmark is kinda too prone to sending throwbacks that don’t add much new? Like, we got this 70s-esque throwback song from 2015, it can be very well argued that Lighthouse X were throwbacks to early 2010s boyband music that wasn’t as loud as the one of One Direction, 2014 had shades of the classic Bruno Mars of the time who himself have upgraded to sound like smooth R’n’B man for the ladies who sings about getting it with the ladies... are people in Denmark a little too nostalgic for their own good sometimes? Let me go there one day when panini subsides and check if they have a spare DeLorean, just for the fun of it, and if they keep the Deloreans as their biggest prized possessions in a way.

Overall a pretty standard dance song to dance to, if I expected some other mood being projected throughout it I’d straight up look at Gjon’s Tears staging. *orchestral music* Tout l’univeeeeeers *proceeds to moves arms like he’s performing “Rap God” in a talent show*

Yeah I like it, but I absolutely love the orchestral version posted above?? The big gall of DMGP to include orchestra on their NF while Albania’s NF traded it for a while just to have artists perform in the freezing cold outside instead... of course everything sounds better with orchestra. Smh at those who think otherwise

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This is how the studio version sounds like by the way. All that review was for this. How does the studio pale in comparison to the orchestra, do you think

Approval factor: Yeah, maybe there’s some of it in me for this one too! Follow-up factor: Another broadcaster being cunts to their former act. Public outcries have been done ever since DR revealed the DMGP lineup and made them realize there’s no Ben and Tan in it, eventhough they said they would not send an entry to the next DMGP, but yet they did because they felt like it, and it was revealed in an ultimate dickish move that Ben and Tan were never allowed to re-enter in the first place. :’) Some say it’s because of prompting sympathy votes (as if Aksel and The Mamas needed any to win their NFs, OH WAIT.), some might even say it was because DR was too scared to do well and Ben and Tan were just *that* awesome. Songwise, I like their both entries equally, and it’s a nice Danish marketing move to go from one background music to another (but in 80s style). So it’s a move to an interestingly straight decent line, I guess. Qualification factor: In semifinals like these, when there are just that many good songs that cannot miss out on a final spot, some of them actually do end up in that unfortunate position unless they don’t... Denmark has a little bit of a chance? From the possible hopeless bunch I can only see one of Austria, Portugal and Denmark making it. Poland, a fellow 80s-like Nordic song, is too comedic to be taken seriously by the up-and-coming televoting community. Georgia is too mellow. Denmark stands out with a fun way of their own 80s, Portugal and Austria have decent live performances and stagings at the same time, one of which Fyr og Flamme might lack lol, but that doesn’t mean housewives don’t vote for something that reminds them of their youth years, no?

NF CORNER

Thankfully that apart from Ben & Tan fiasco you’re not missing out on much.

DMGP chose a weird kind of way to reveal entries - during 3 separate radio shows in between two channels amidst all kinds of random world&Danish popular music. During which presumably both radio stations played the soon-to-be-winning Fyr og Flamme’s entry a second time after the premiere. Like if we don’t know who’s winning already, huh, huh???

Well, there are at least some above-the-par entries, and a couple of my favourites were Emma Nicoline (synthpop in Danish which in her case of victory would’ve likely been translated in English???? hopefully not so we could’ve had a win-win in case Fyr og Flamme didn’t win) and Mike Tramp (yeehaw in English, and much different than what he did in Eurovision 1978 with the group Mabel and yet another song about rhythm, enough to incorporate live drum playing from a band member itself during the performance... their own prop drum, mind you). They probably sound a whole lot better in orcestra than they are in these studio versions, so go check them out on Youtube as well, if you’re willing. Much cheers

Also the funny thing about them - Jesper is from a little barely heard of island called Ærø, who coincidentally shares a flag with Lithuania’s, but their colors are much brighter than ours. I bring it up that it’s barely heard of because some Danish viewers (and the international ones that could’ve gotten a hold of the stream) were confused as to why Fyr og Flamme waved “Lithuanian” flags in the DMGP greenroom. I’ve heard about that as well. I know a person from Ærø. I was confused too at first. I’ve been there. And it’s thanks to that person I’ve heard of Fyr og Flamme. Ærø supports Ærø, it seems

ANY LAST WORDS?

Honestly, if they qualify (and so does Portugal), I lowkey hope for their NF to have more songs in their native language? Leonora went on to start something when singing a piece of her song in Danish, Fyr og Flamme continued the iniciative, lord knows if it continues to continue and give them a fruitful outcome in the end.

As for why I mentioned Portugal and language variety, well... there can still be winners in the Portuguese language, just it would be an initiative to RTP to invite more English-singing Portuguese songwriters who’d otherwise not really participate in FdC if they were asked to only sing in Portuguese? I don’t know, really. But yeah. Maybe.

#eurovision #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam 2021 reviews #denmark #fyr og flamme #Øve os på hinanden

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unibrowzz · 4 years ago

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Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part VII (FINALE)- The 2010s

And we’re on the home stretch! Just 10 songs left now.

The 2010s stands as the only decade I watched live and the only decade I haven’t yet rewatched, mainly because I have no interest to. I’ve already seen the contest anyway, if a song didn’t stick with me then, it probably won’t now.

Also prepare for some hotter than usual takes, mostly down to the 10s contests being the most well known due to recency bias. I can say whatever the Hell I want about older contests and what songs I despise from there, but one non-positive comment about Euphoria and suddenly about five butthurt anons appear in my inbox telling me why I’m wrong.

But without further ado, let’s finish these off!

2010: Satellite

Country: Germany

Artist: Lena Meyer-Landrut

Language: English

Thoughts: I used to defend this song a lot, for some reason. I used to get super defensive when people dismissed it as a cheap lazy pop song that shouldn’t have won over (insert song here, but let’s be real here, 99% of the time it’s Turkey's equally cheap lazy emo rock song) and that it robbed so many better entries, blah blah, you know the drill. And I think it’s because it was the first winner I saw as I started properly watching in 2010, so I didn’t want to shit all over the winner that introduced me to the contest. Or maybe it’s that it makes me really nostalgic, or something to that effect. But, dear God, why did I? It’s so… not worth it. I appreciate it for being a much less instrumental-heavy winner, with its skippy, snappy beat and bouncing vocals which sound closer to plain talking than actual singing, but… How many times were the lyrics ran through GoogleTranslate before they were finalised? What’s with the janky, overexaggerated fake-English accent? Why does the singer look embarrassed to be a part of this? Why was this written? And how the FUCK did it win? It’s so weird and awkward to listen to. It’s the song equivalent of trying to make small talk with that one classmate you never talk to because they’re shy and boring. It’s like listening to an old person laugh half-heartedly at their not-that-funny old person joke. It’s canned laughter in a mediocre sitcom. It’s just an awkward, painful to listen to song that’s made all the more painful by the fact that Germany has sent much better songs that easily could have replaced this as their one post-reunification winner.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Spain- Daniel Diges- “Algo Pequeñito”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 60th

2011: Running Scared

Country: Azerbaijan

Artist: Ell and Niki

Language: English

Thoughts: Look, this one isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Doesn’t mean it’s good, or that I find it particularly good, but the worst winner of all time? Goodness no, it doesn't even come remotely close. What we have here is a mildly pleasant ballad duet song with a distinctive sad-boyband vibe. Like you can definitely hear the “X-Factor winner’s first cover song” energy just radiating off it from the first few lines. I suppose you could argue that that does make it feel a bit clinical and like it’s trying too hard to be a big hit, but come on, it’s not like this is the first winner like that. The singing is alright; better than half the singing that won in the 2000s anyway, and the male singer especially has a nice voice. The lyrics aren’t exactly poetry, sure, but again, other winners have terrible lyrics as well and don’t receive nearly as much hate as this one does. And… that’s it. Why all the hate? No idea, but I can only assume the people who declare this song to be the worst winner ever haven’t heard anything that won before 2010.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Denmark- A Friend in London- “New Tomorrow”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 42nd

2012: Euphoria

Country: Sweden

Artist: Loreen

Language: English

Thoughts: Ugh. Listen. This is not a bad song. It’s decent, middle of the table, listenable, marketable, well sung, well performed, well shot. I must stress, this is not a bad song. But the best Eurovision song of all time? Absolutely not. Euphoria is one of the few winners I would describe as “overrated”, and that isn’t a term I use lightly (since it’s overused as Hell), because frankly, I don’t see what people see in this song. Hell, I forgot it completely until the 2012 voting, and further still until mid 2013 when a friend said he liked it. This song left that little of an impression on me that I completely forgot everything about it for a solid year. And considering how many fans regard this to be one of the best, if not the best song to ever come out of the contest... that baffles me, I just can’t wrap my head around why so many people hold this song up on a pedestal and worship it like it was dropped from the hands of God himself. And I'm not sure if it's because this just isn't a genre I care about, or if it's because this was WAY back when I was a casual fan who didn't follow any of the songs or artists so didn't know who'd be the favourite going in like I do now, and therefore didn’t know to keep an ear out for this one. Or maybe you have to be piss drunk and at a nightclub to really feel the impact of this song. This song triggers absolutely no response from me other than “Oh, a Eurovision song”. I feel no emotion towards it aside from complete indifference. I can’t deny that this song made an impact, it just… didn’t make an impact on me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Spain- Pastora Soler- “Quedate Conmigo”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 40th

2013: Only Teardrops

Country: Denmark

Artist: Emmelie de Forest

Language: English

Thoughts: Let me ask you a question: What do you get when you sandwich an otherwise decent pop song between two of the most iconic and recognizable winners of the decade? You get this. Only Teardrops is a weird, weird winner to me. On one hand, the fandom acts like it might as well not exist, you go straight from Euphoria to Rise Like a Phoenix, who cares about that filler song which came between them. On the other hand, I know a lot of people who really like it, yet all of them are either very casual fans or not fans at all. So this makes me feel like this song’s main weakness is that it’s too mainstream, at least for Eurovision fans. What are my thoughts? It depends. For one, I enjoy this song a LOT more than Euphoria; I always have done and I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit that. I find this song has a lot more personal appeal, particularly a much bigger finale in my opinion, and being surrounded by people who like this song has admittedly kept me fond of it. BUT, I still wouldn’t necessarily call it a favourite of mine. Maybe a favourite of the 2010s, but not overall. At the end of the day, it’s a little too generic, a little too normal, a little too like every other song you’d hear on the radio. It’s not really a song I find myself coming back to again and again and loving every time, it’s the song I stick on to shut my family up when they want to listen to Eurovision music and I’m too shy to show them the songs I actually really like. It's just a decent song that's unfortunate enough to be stuck in between two more iconic winners, doomed to be little more than the answer in a pub quiz question. And even though I do prefer this one to some of those icons, and don’t really have anything else to say about it, it’s just enjoyable yet kind of bland.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Iceland

If no, what is? Iceland- Eyþór Gunnlaugsson- “Ég á Líf”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 16th

2014: Rise Like a Phoenix

Country: Austria

Artist: Conchita Wurst

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the man who made the entire continent of Europe collectively forget what a drag queen is. What a shitshow that night was. But I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to rate/say some things about the song, and honestly? This is arguably the most vocally impressive winner from the 2010s. Seriously, there’s nothing I can fault here; this guy’s got some serious pipes. Every time I go back to it I just end up blown away by how powerful and raw this song is. And obviously good vocals alone can’t carry a song forever, otherwise I would’ve had nicer things to say about the early 70s and mid 90s, but with this song the vocals go hand-in-hand with the gimmick. Without the powerful vocals this would just be a knockoff Bond theme sung by a drag queen with a beard, like it’d just be another sensationalist gimmick song to throw onto the pile with all the other gimmick songs. But with the good singing, this has the distinction that it’s a gimmick entry that still had every right to win because the singer was actually competent. Also unlike the 70s winners this one actually has strong emotions tied to it rather than it just being a bunch of pretty French words, so there’s that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or the Netherlands tbh

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 17th

2015: Heroes

Country: Sweden

Artist: Måns Zelmerlöw

Language: English

Thoughts: Fun fact: I was so bitter this won that I stormed off before the voting was done and cried in my room over it. I hated everything about this song: I hated how Sweden won just three years after their last win, I hated how the staging was just BEGGING people to vote for it, and I ESPECIALLY hated how it beat out the televote favourite because the juries were too busy wanking off to this one to care about anything else. I just despised everything about this song, and it turned me into an obnoxious jury-hater for a solid year. And yes, I'm extremely embarrassed of all that because honestly this song is fantastic. I would go as far to say it's my favourite Swedish winner, maybe not one of my favourite Swedish entries but definitely my favourite winner of theirs. Everything about this is just so appealing to me, from the brooding intro and vocals, to the lyrics, to the staging, my GOD the staging! It’s one of the best performances of the contest to date; It's impressive without being tacky or try-hard, he interacts with his background, and that little doodle boy character he’s created is adorable. I just love this performance, it’s so mesmerising.

Was this my personal winner for this year? Not then, is now

If no, what was? Then? Serbia- Bojana Stamenov- “Beauty Never Lies”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 11th

2016: 1944

Country: Ukraine

Artist: Jamala

Language: English, some Crimean words

Thoughts: I mean… it’s good until she starts singing. Now I am by all means not an advocate for bringing back the old language rule, but songs like this sure as Hell make me one. This should have been left entirely in Crimean. Simple as that. The English lyrics are bloody awful, no way to sugarcoat it, and absolutely annihilate the potential this song is otherwise seething with, because the instrumental to this song is fantastic and the chorus and climax give me goosebumps. The performance at the contest was chilling as well; a perfect blend of both simple yet flashy staging to set up a really uneasy atmosphere that compliments the song perfectly but, God, the lyrics are bad, man, especially for such a serious song about a personal topic. That said, it's still the only song in the 2016 top 3 that seemed winner-worthy, unlike Australia's obvious Jurybait and Russia's obvious Telebait. So… it has that.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? France- Amir Haddad- “J’ai Cherché”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 57th

2017: Amar Pelos Dois

Country: Portugal

Artist: Salvador Sobral

Language: Portuguese (Translation: “Both of us”)

Thoughts: I still question why it took Portugal until 20-fucking-17 to even reach the top five, but that's a rant for another day. Not that this is a rant, far from it. Anybody who knows me knows that I love this song after all, and that it’s one of the few winners I remain rather defensive of, though that’s mostly down to the amount of hate this song and its singer receive. I will defend Sal and his hot takes on pop music until I die. Now I’ll admit, this song surprised me in more ways than one. Namely by actually winning the televote; given how this song has split opinions clean down the board as to whether it’s spine-tinglingly beautiful or soul-crushingly boring, I was expecting it to come mid-table in the televote whilst some other country swiped first. Yet somehow it managed to stomp the televote just as hard as it stomped the jury vote. I guess I wasn’t the only person this struck a chord with after all. Also, I can’t be the only one who thinks this is a perfect dance song? Like it’s great for ballroom, or contemporary. It’s so dreamy and flowy, and I usually HATE dreamy flowy songs, yet this one just resonates with me for some reason and I’m not sure why.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 4th

2018: Toy

Country: Israel

Artist: Netta Barzilai

Language: English, some chicken noises, cringe

Thoughts: And here we have another case for bringing back the language rule, because if this song had a Hebrew version I would 100% listen to it more often. When I heard Israel was sending an, ahem, "feminist anthem" about the #MeToo trend on twitter, my first reaction was "ew". When I heard it was the favourite to win, my reaction was also "ew". And when I heard the song for the first time? "Hm, not as bad as I thought." And also "ew". This song is just embarrassing. I’m embarrassed listening to it, I’m embarrassed watching it, and I’m embarrassed when someone mentions it when I’m trying to convince them Eurovision actually has good music. You can just tell from the first few lines that it was written by middle aged men trying to shill themselves out to gullible young women who think listening to a song by some Israeli DJ “empowers” them. And let’s be honest here: “empowering” is just media speak for “shit”. The only thing stopping me from putting it at the VERY bottom is the instrumental and performance because without the cringy lyrics you’re left with a pretty good club song, and I swear to God Netta Barzilai could sell herself sneezing for 3 minutes. If “Toy” had been entirely in Hebrew I would’ve given it a pass, and maybe a cheeky vote or two. But, alas, that was not to be.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Italy- Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro- “Non mi Avete fatto Niente”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 64th

2019: Arcade

Country: The Netherlands

Artist: Duncan Laurence

Language: English

Thoughts: You know, in my 9 or so years watching the contest, I don’t think I’ve ever felt genuinely ecstatic watching a song win. Most of the time I either feel neutral (most of them) or a more general, content kind of happy (2014 and 2017). Like I’ve never let out a shout of joy and slid on my knees across my living room floor in sheer, blind happiness. But that’s what I did with “Arcade”. I’m not really sure why that is because, I must confess, it wasn’t my personal winner of the night, and, looking back, I preferred other songs, but… God, I just can’t explain how overwhelmingly happy I was when this song won. I’m not sure if it’s because I was alone or if I was rooting for this deep down (or if it’s because it was between this song or fuckin’ Sweden again). But that’s by the by. How’s the song? Honestly? Really good. One of my favourites of this decade, if I’m honest. It’s the kind of song that’s grown on me a lot since the night of the contest; even though it wasn’t my favourite song from 2019, I’m not mad at all at it winning.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Honestly I had about 10

If no, what is? I could list them if you want

Personal ranking (out of 67): 6th

#AND IT IS DONE #eurovision #mod's winner reviews #esc winners #finally glad to get these done lmao these were so tedious to format

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florrickandassociates · 5 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 4x01-- The Gang Deals with Alternate Reality

I had a lot to say about this one, guys.

Welcome back! I see this season TGF has decided to be It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Is this some sort of joke about how last season it was always raining? Is every title going to be like this? And where are the numbers!? There is no counting of any kind in this episode title!

When you think about it, the central argument of this episode-- that 45’s election brought new life to resistance movements that would’ve otherwise laid dormant-- is also my central argument about why TGF is a good show instead of a passable one. Remember how in season one the point of the show was supposed to be a fake scandal about Maia?

So it’s fitting that we begin season four by going back to the show’s pilot: Inauguration Day. Only this time, Diane is happily watching Hillary Clinton’s inauguration. Did I say happily? I meant ecstatically.

As Diane pops champagne, the TV goes to static-- something’s off-- and the credits begin. Same credits as season 3 but with one key difference: things are coming together rather than exploding. I see what you did there. (The TVs still explode, though, and they still have the real 45 on them.)

Yeah I didn’t need to see the credits to know the Kings wrote this one.

I think the notes the Kings left in the script for this episode for Brooke Kennedy just said, “Make Diane look like a glamorous badass.” I’m like one minute in and she’s already popped champagne and worn trendy sunglasses.

Brooke’s directing in this episode is so stylish and it might be my favorite ep she’s ever done? The showiness (and sometimes campy performances) REALLY work for the tone of this episode.

Diane takes the elevator to work and looks quizzical. One may be tempted to ask how Diane knows to go to RBL if it’s the day after inauguration and she’s still at Lockhart Deckler whatever (one may then snark that RBL is in the LG space so she’d go there no matter what). The answer is: dream logic!

(But really, little disorienting moments like that-- and yes, I know this was probably only disorienting for me and one other person-- help the episode work long before we know this isn’t a true alternate universe.)

Marissa is waiting at reception to inform Diane that HRC’s press secretary is in her office. Diane then asks Marissa who the president is, and Marissa asks Diane if she’s microdosing again. Ha! Also, that’s another clear clue that something’s up-- Diane wouldn’t have already microdosed right after inauguration. And why would Diane have microdosed in this AltVerse? Again-- dream logic. And I love it. In episodes like this, when things don’t add up, it’s wonderfully disorienting instead of frustrating. (Plus, this line is a knowing wink at fans about the absurdity of the microdosing storyline.)

Marissa confirms that it’s 2020 in show time. Diane has a flash of a selection of horrific images that have come out of these last few years, then says, ”God, have you ever had a dream that is so real that it takes you a long time to wake up?” I wish.

Diane wants to know how Hillary won, and Marissa says she won in a landslide-- 3 million votes. “Same as in my dream,” Diane says. Marissa thinks she means the other candidate had 3 million more votes, and wonders how he won if he had fewer votes. On one hand, Marissa totally knows about the electoral college. On the other hand, would “3 million votes” and hating the electoral college be cliched and top of mind enough to work as the joke in this scene if those votes had actually mattered? Probably not. I doubt many people would be talking about abolishing the electoral college, or that Marissa or even Diane would be SO quick to understand how one could win the popular vote and not the election, if we hadn’t all lived through the past three years. Also dream logic. It’s a great way of explaining things that are out of character.

“Whatever, it’s a dream, it doesn’t have to make sense,” says Marissa, making my point for me.

Oh hello there Lucca, your jacket is very bright. Lucca asks to sit in on Diane’s meeting with the press secretary. Lucca was up for a partnership in 3x10 but in this episode she’s very obviously an underling (and honestly seems a bit lower ranking and hesitant than usual-- I’ll need another episode or two to understand if this is how the writers are writing Lucca, how Diane views Lucca, or just what was easiest for the plot).

The White House is now asking Diane to take on cases. Way to dream big, Diane!

And Diane will be arguing in front of the Supreme Court!

In the alternate universe, Liz’s wonderful bathroom belongs to Diane.

Diane gets to do so many things she wouldn’t usually do in this ep, like furiously shake her head to prove to herself she’s not dreaming!

Diane still has that Girl With Flower As Head painting and I do not believe she would have that painting if HRC were president because it’s too friggin weird. Also has it always had a US flag in the background?

In the alternate universe, Garland and Warren (as in Elizabeth) are both on the court. It’s a good laughline precisely because it’s so plausible. (Well, idk about the Warren part, but she’s a recognizable name.)

Diane looks so happy she could cry when she learns Warren is on the Supreme Court.

There is a shot of Lucca that is so very clearly from Diane’s POV and I like it. I read a review of this episode that said it didn’t have enough character development. To that I say, one, this isn’t TGW-- this show has always been more about tone and theme, and two, there’s PLENTY here that’s about Diane’s POV and how she views others and thinks of herself. Because it’s dream logic I can’t make nearly as much out of it as I can make out of an episode like A Few Words, but there are little touches here and there. Even this shot of Lucca, where Lucca’s in the center of the frame shot from a high angle, grounds me in Diane’s POV. You could even make an argument about hierarchy based on the angle.

“Who’s that?” Lucca whispers when Diane asks about Kavanaugh. Diane is elated at that response.

Somehow we leave Diane’s POV (whatever, it’s a dream so I won’t be as brutal to this choice as I was to a similar but more subtle one in Don’t Fail) and follow Lucca into Adrian’s office. She immediately tells Liz and Adrian she’s concerned about Diane. That sounds like Lucca alright.

Diane is DANCING in her office as she watches news coverage that isn’t a garbage fire.

I’m curious y’all-- are people in your area cheering at a certain time? Hearing cheers every night during this pandemic is one of the few things I like about this awful moment in time. (My recap writing was just interrupted by cheering, if you couldn’t guess the reason for this abrupt digression.)

News stories in alternate reality: Cancer has been cured, there is polar bear overpopulation, the rainforest has been saved, 45 is REDUCING the amount of content he’s putting out into the world, and $35,000 is missing from some government agency. Ha. All that and people are hung up on $35,000? Sounds about right, actually.

Diane hugs Liz and Adrian because she feels like a weight has been lifted off of her. I appreciate that Diane acts without restraint or concern for what other people think in this episode. This is central to why I think this episode is actually a pretty good character study: this is who Diane imagines herself to be, more or less. Real Diane, no matter how bizarre things are, probably would handle herself more professionally in a work meeting and probably wouldn’t let feelings like this show. Dream Diane has no reason to double check herself. This is just how she thinks she’d react if there were absolutely no constraints. Not that she’s actively thinking- she’s just doing.

Diane is very excited to be watching the news, and Adrian thinks she’s nuts-- there are scandals! Like the missing $35k and THE EMAILS. The GODDAMN EMAILS. Even a fictional joke about how they’d still be a scandal makes me mad. Twenty years from now it will still be too soon to remind me of the emails. (And to play Fight Song, that song is cancelled.)

A haircut is also a scandal because sexism.

I admire this show for calling attention to problems on both sides without ever screaming BOTH SIDES ARE EQUALLY BAD. This episode may call out some of the good things that have happened as a result of the 2016 election, but the whole premise of this joke rests on the fact that only one of the two potential administrations could run through a year’s worth of scandals in a day.

Might circle back to this later on-- btw I write these after watching the whole episode, so I do know what’s going to happen next-- but I don’t think the show is trying to make the case that it’s good 45 was elected. I think they’re trying to ask questions about how the world has changed and cause and effect so we can understand the moment we’re in. Above, I said I liked hearing my neighbors cheer every night. And I could write a lot of words on how that collective activity inspires me, makes me feel connected even when I’ve been stuck inside for a month, etc, how I’ve gotten better about keeping in touch with old friends, whatever, and NONE of that would mean that a global pandemic is a good thing. It just means that like any huge societal phenomenon, its implications are complex.

TGF and TGW have always, always, always been shows about understanding where we are in time. That’s what this episode does. And it makes sense to do a thought experiment like this now, at the start of season 4, in a season opener. We’ve had enough time living in this world that we can reflect on it.

Diane laughs, because what Diane dream sequence would be complete without a glorious laugh?

Adrian’s kinda suspicious of Hillary. Sure, cancer’s been cured, but it’s not public how or when!

God it’s weird to hear some of the most absurd happenings of the last three years as punchlines.

The line about the Obama’s overall deal at Netflix is fire.

Diane laughs AGAIN.

Oh right, Harriet Tubman was going to be on the $20 bill. (Is it obvious yet that I am the exact right target for this episode?)

Julius is VERY mad about Hillary’s $500 haircut. Heh. He’s also publicly supporting Trump which is interesting (and probably a dream logic thing; Diane knows he supported Trump therefore in her dream he isn’t ever hesitant to share that he voted for Trump.)

“Only Hillary could cure cancer and turn it into a scandal,” someone else adds. I’m loving all these jokes. He is mad cancer wasn’t cured earlier and that it’s been cured in an election year. This joke is funny because it’s exactly what would happen in this scenario.

I wonder if Julius would be more likely to speak up about his political affiliation if the stakes were lower. If 45 lost, then is supporting him as much of a thing to hide in a place like RBL? People would be mad but they probably would get over their moral opposition to his views a lot faster when it isn’t a real threat.

Diane’s brought in a huge client, which is news to her. And that client is none other than Harvey Weinstein, which… my God this is an interesting thought experiment.

“I’m amazed you got him away from Lisa Bloom,” Adrian says. YIKES!!!! (If y’all haven’t read Catch and Kill yet, pick up a copy ASAP.)

No one’s heard of Weinstein’s sexual assault issues. I believe it. I mean, I think some women in power might have known before 2017-- I still vividly recall how many journalists reacted to the release of the story not with “Oh my God, how has this been going on for so long?” but with “Holy shit, someone managed to publish a story about this?!”-- but I’ll believe that the general consensus in elite liberal circles was to set the rumors aside and not share them widely.

I can’t watch this episode without thinking about VIP Treatment (2x05 of TGW). That episode, which raises the question of what happens when someone accuses a liberal legend of sexual assault, feels so ahead of its time. It aired in 2010. And I just, right this moment, learned that it was ripped from the headlines about accusations a masseuse made against Al Gore. Guys. I didn’t know there were allegations in 2010 about Al Gore. Is that because I was 16 in 2010 and just never heard of (or forgot about) the story? Is it because he had less power? Is it because of something specific about the reporting or the allegations? Or is it because we as a culture swept it under the rug since it was (allow me to be the millionth person to make this awful joke) an inconvenient truth?

I don’t know the answers to the above. What I do know is that this episode is making me ask those questions.

In Marissa’s world (“you mean reality?”), 45 bragged about grabbing women by the pussy and then lost the election. And the story ended there. There was no women’s march, no #MeToo.

Sarah Steele gets to react to a lot of things in this episode and it is very delightful to see her say things like, “what are pussy hats?”

Diane looks so angry and stunned when she realizes that Weinstein is still “a thing” in the world.

He won the Presidential Medal of Freedom because of course he did.

His wikipedia page says his only controversies are about his managerial style. Yikes.

Marissa’s reaction to the phrase “masturbating into plants” is one of the best things about this episode. I love that she gets so hung up on it.

Charlie Rose is the first name other than Weinstein that comes to mind for Diane when Marissa asks what other men were serial harassers. I’ve got to think that Rose gets the most attention here in no small part because he was part of the CBS family-- he was even on TGW.

I’ve seen Annaleigh Ashford in so many things recently.

Diane handles the meeting with Team Weinstein VERY poorly (she also does not care to handle it well), while Adrian covers with the “all options are open to us” gibberish that Diane absolutely would be able to convincingly deploy in a meeting she couldn’t follow. I point this out because it shows that 1) Diane isn’t behaving the way she would in reality and 2) Diane does not give a fuck.

If this were reality, would Diane push so hard in this meeting? I don’t know. This situation is so far removed from reality it’s hard to tell. But my sense is that Diane would like to think of herself as someone who would never waver in her commitment to Doing The Right Thing, but she’d probably be a lot more diplomatic-- even in real 2020-- in initial meetings. It’s a bit dated at this point, but in VIP Treatment Diane was hesitant to believe the victim because the man accused of assault was a high profile liberal. To her credit, she does eventually choose the victim over her own politics. But I could totally see Diane-- with no knowledge of the real timeline-- behaving like her friend/HRC’s press secretary Zoe does in this episode.

All that to say: personally, I don’t think #MeToo would’ve caught on to the extent it did if women weren’t already angry. I believe there could have been a hashtag and some stories (maybe even the Weinstein story). But I also believe women felt an urgent need to speak out and organize. And I believe that more women were inclined to believe victims and get angry. And I believe that it was only because of the world in general that #MeToo spread outside of a few online circles. To put it another way, you know how there are sometimes cases of the week on this show where you might know the reference in detail, but if you ask a co-worker or friend about it they’ll know either nothing or only the very basics? I think all of #MeToo could’ve ended up like one of those cases if it hadn’t played out with 2017 in the background.

Dreams aren’t subtle: Weinstein’s publicity tour includes appearances with Charlie Rose and Matt Lauer. (This joke also serves as a reminder that sexual harassment is a systemic problem.)

Diane is SO confrontational in this meeting. Also, the woman they’re meeting with is SO FRIGGIN COMPLICIT.

Weinstein’s team frames sexual assault allegations-- which are still floating around even in alt2020-- as a Republican conspiracy. I have no doubt they would have used this approach if given the chance.

I’m on page six and fifteen minutes in, damn.

Adrian, or Diane’s version of Adrian, does not believe women and seems to hate Hillary Clinton a little bit too. An accurate portrayal of Adrian? Lines that betray Diane’s suspicion of where Adrian stands on women’s issues? Or just that Adrian is there to be the person pushing back and it could’ve been anyone? (I think it’s somewhere between the first two, personally. If this could’ve been anyone, why not Liz?)

In this alternate universe NBC’s refusal to broadcast Ronan Farrow’s investigation is proof of Weinstein’s innocence, because in the alt universe we still apparently have faith in the corporate culture at NBC. (Perhaps the most surprising thing to me about Catch and Kill is that a LOT of it is dedicated to exposing the shit that went down within NBC. It’s fascinating and also makes it crystal clear how assault is a systemic problem and not just a few bad apples you should avoid being alone with.)

Adrian’s reaction when Diane mentions Reddick (Adrian knows nothing of the accusations in this universe) changes the tone of this scene in an instant and it’s breathtaking. This is the one moment in the episode where she knows she has to shut up.

The one thing about this ep I am not sure I buy is that the firm is struggling because of the rise in corporate taxes. But I know so little about this issue I don’t care if it’s right or wrong.

After Diane leaves Adrian’s office, Liz asks, “What about my dad?” meaning she somehow heard the conversation through the wall. (The door was definitely closed so either their office design is worse than I thought or it’s just dream logic.) Diane doesn’t share the rumor with Liz.

Lucca is for some reason on this case, and they are for some reason in court on the same day they learned about the case. And the best part is that I don’t have to worry about whether or not this is plausible BECAUSE IT’S ALL A DREAM

Another thing I’ll say about this ep-- it’s pace remarkably well. The opening previews what’s to come, there’s just enough happy liberal utopia with funny jokes at the start, the Weinstein twist comes at the right moment, and the shift to the more dark, character focused scenes that wrap up the episode come exactly when the writers have gotten as much mileage as they can out of this premise. I knew this episode would be fantastic the moment I saw it was only 41 minutes long.

The judge keeps saying the opposing counsel’s full name, Ann Howard. Is this supposed to be a familiar name to me? I am not getting the reference.

The judge’s ruling is basically that no one would take the risk involved in assaulting someone at work these days so the case must be bogus. And then we see, immediately (because, dream) that the judge is totally corrupt and just wants to get his daughter an internship with Weinstein.

“Justice is an equation. Justice equals the law times the zeitgeist. The law on its own doesn’t stand up. You need the mood of the times on your side,” Diane eloquently explains. That’s basically what this episode is saying. To put it more simply: Context matters and nothing happens in a vacuum. (TGF and TGW were always about the context-- you simply couldn’t do a show about a woman standing by her cheating politician husband and being REVERED for it in 2020. That’s not about the law, but the same principle applies.)

Lucca says they won, so the zeitgeist worked for them-- and how could it be against women when the president is a woman? Remember how the Kings used to say that TGF was going to be about Diane retiring because she thought the glass ceiling had been shattered? I always thought that sounded wrong, but this episode is helping me understand what they were thinking a little bit.

Lucca calls out Diane, a bit abruptly, on how only the woman partners probably would get to say “no more” if there were to be a women’s movement because the associates can’t risk it. Lucca’s right and she’s wrong-- her words underestimate how mainstream and trendy it’s become to publicly talk about sexual harassment, but she’s 100% right that there are still underlying power dynamics.

Diane’s Lucca is V V V V V V V concerned with power dynamics and VERY much wants to be higher ranking. On the one hand, actual Lucca wants to rank higher too. On the other, is there a piece of Diane that sees Lucca as power hungry?

Lucca’s asked to take documents to Weinstein, and she’s flattered. Diane, like every viewer, sees this as a car crash in slow motion. She knows exactly what will happen when Lucca gets to his hotel with the documents. But Lucca, who’s in the dark, only knows it’s a good opportunity to impress a huge client.

Diane tells Weinstein’s… whatever she is? That she is “Harvey’s pimp” and she is not wrong. Also since I don’t actually know this woman’s job title I’ll just refer to her that way moving forward.

(See what I mean about Diane just saying things that are totally unprofessional bc this is a dream Diane who does what she wants and not actual Diane making tough decisions?)

Lucca is REALLY bitter about how Diane is always taking opportunities away from her. They’re definitely trying to do something with Lucca in this episode but as I said earlier, I think I need to see what they have planned for the rest of the season before I can fully understand what they’re going for.

Diane tells Lucca exactly what is going to happen when she goes to drop off the papers. Lucca won’t hear it, so Diane asks Marissa to keep an eye on her.

Another possibility for what they’re trying to do with Lucca (and Adrian): Maybe it’s supposed to be about how different Types would react-- the powerful man who benefits from not questioning things and has some latent sexism issues; the ambitious young woman who gets caught in a bad situation because she’s trying to move her career forward. The more I think about it, the more I think this is what they’re going for-- and the question I should be asking is what does it mean about Adrian and Lucca (in terms of how the writers see them, in terms of how Diane sees them) that they can take on these roles so easily?

(It may say nothing about Diane because… idk, do YOU do thoughtful character analysis in your sleep? Because I don’t!)

Marissa is still stuck on the plants and I love it.

Lucca catches Marissa right away, but all that accomplishes is that both of them clearly see that Diane is right. These scenes feel a little unnecessary (they’re also not in Diane’s POV, though surely dreams can have tangents) and I think they’re only here to illustrate how the system works. I can’t imagine this scene is teaching many people new information.

Also there’s… just not another scene with Lucca in this episode? And I don’t know if I feel like that’s a bad thing or like it’s part of dream logic? I think it’s probably just bad plotting that the unnecessary sequence ends abruptly and doesn’t return.

“With the presidency, women can do whatever they want,” says one of Diane’s liberal friends at a women’s event. I’m… not 100% sure anyone would say this. If this were true why would they even be having a gala for a women’s charity? But point taken. People love this type of statement.

So Diane’s extremely low cut dress like has a mesh thing covering her exposed chest??I can’t figure it out.

Weinstein is also a hero to everyone at the feminist charity. When Diane hears this, she gives an interview to a reporter about having a long way to go, which I 100% believe would be the message no matter reality we’re in what because literally no one is going to say please donate to my cause we have no battles left to fight BUT I DIGRESS. Diane tries to ignite #MeToo (and even name checks Tarana Burke, so that’s awesome) and is quickly cut off.

Then, after giving the interview, she has Jay (hello!) set her up on Twitter. Dream Diane is revealing just how little she understands how social media works. She also wants to link to a “Me Too Site” which is… not how any of this works, Diane.

Diane sees herself on the news-- she’s mostly cut from the piece and her words are taken out of context.

Adrian and Liz stare Diane down for calling Weinstein’s pimp a pimp and Diane defends herself. Liz doesn’t believe this either. Diane is asked to sign a VERY RIDICULOUS (like it sounds like 45 more than anything else) apology letter and laughs.

Liz reminds her that they’re close to bankruptcy and that they’ve defended killers before (oh, and, most relevant-- the assholes to avoid case, I can’t believe I went to 205 to think about how Diane would react in a more nuanced present day situation when I had that example!), why would Diane draw the line here? “Everyone deserves a defense. Just not everyone deserves MY defense,” Diane says. You know it’s a dream when a character on this show actually says that. Do you know how many times (if you’re still reading this you probably do know) I have written something to the effect of “SAYING EVERYONE DESERVES REPRESENTATION IS NOT THE SAME AS REPRESENTING THEM YOURSELF, LIZ/DIANE/ADRIAN/WILL/ALICIA/CARY/LUCCA/WHOEVER”? It’s been a lot.

(Here is something I wrote in a case in which Diane, at the height of #MeToo, defended some assholes for money: “‘I wouldn’t say hate. We’re obligated,’ Diane says. Ohhh yes this is a new pet peeve. Y’all are not obligated. You were not assigned this case. You chose to take it for the money.”)

Idk what my point is here, maybe that this feels like a dream because the characters are never this principled in reality.

Zoe, the press secretary, wants Diane to shut down #MeToo. Lucca’s there too, but she says nothing (despite the experience she may have just had, because dream). Zoe doesn’t want women to get angry about abuse because “that’s not the message that helps us in 2020.” Ooof. But I buy it. I am not sure if it’s ACCURATE that anger wouldn’t help but I can completely see campaign staffers being afraid it would hurt, especially given that Bill Clinton has… more than a few issues.

This scene veers into Diane’s POV. The camera gets closer and closer to her as she feels boxed in, and Liz, Adrian, and the pimp stare accusingly at her. Suddenly she realizes she doesn’t know where Kurt is because she’s spent the last few days at work. I think the most dream-like thing about this is the way Kurt just suddenly pops into the dream and shifts the tone of the whole thing.

She runs off. Liz and Adrian ask Diane to step back from the firm for Weinstein and she’s like, okay, I’m going home, “I don’t know how I changed my clothes, I went to that event last night and I have different clothes on now and I don’t know where Kurt is.” I LOVE watching this whole episode twist into something this weird.

When Diane gets home, there’s a man fixing her door. He’s watching Trump TV, which is currently airing Felix Staples singing “This Wall is Your Wall” and honestly this is the best use of Felix Staples in the show so far.

The man fixing Diane’s door also remembers reality. He doesn’t know why he’s fixing Diane’s door. It’s disorienting.

Diane gets a beer with the man fixing her door and wonders about if she even likes this world where HRC is president (or if the problem is just that she doesn’t believe it). (I think she’d like it just fine if she experienced it linearly, tbh.)

Sexy gun lady from a previous episode is back, and Kurt’s guns are missing because he didn’t want them to be confiscated (I do not believe this would ever be a policy but this is a full on illogical dream right now) and now Diane is talking to the TV.

“I’m in the car, right?” Diane says while standing in her bedroom and pretending to grab a steering wheel. Heh.

Diane drives to a cabin in the woods (the way this is shot is SO atmospheric) and finds Kurt, in shadow, in the woods. So THIS is what Robert King was going for in Mind’s Eye in the clumsily directed scene with fake Will in shadow. Gotta say, the whole “person you love and can’t quite picture” thing works a ton better when it is obvious it’s an intentional style choice.

This scene is so weird because suddenly politics doesn’t matter and Diane only cares about Kurt and also Kurt might be dead? I am not sure I understand what this is saying. And I’m pretty sure I spent the entirety of this scene the first time through alternating between thinking “ooh pretty”, “this is what 614 wanted to be,” and “please don’t kill Kurt!!”

Kurt pulls Diane to reality and gets her to recap where we left off. She wakes up on the floor of her bedroom. She and Kurt have both, thankfully, survived Book Club’s SWATting.

HA the first thing Diane says when she wakes up is “What happened?” which… that HAS to be intentional right????

To check that Diane is of sound mind, one of the agents asks her how many fingers he’s holding up and who’s president. She laughs.

This episode is UNDER 40 minutes if you exclude the credits and promo.

Guess we’re not doing recap songs.

Had a lot to say about this one. I’ve liked TGW’s mind-y episodes more, but that’s not really a fair comparison since the point of this wasn’t character study… it was tone setting.

What this episode does NOT give me is a sense of what season 4 will be about, other than the usual absurdity.

#the good fight #tgfthoughts

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borisbubbles · 5 years ago

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23. IRELAND

Lesley Roy - “Story of my life”

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Yesterday, the rehearsals would’ve started in Rotterdam. A depressing thought, so, using the mathematical paradigm that a negative + a negative equals a positive, let’s counteract with a thought so depressing it circles back into hilarity.

Ireland thought this entry was gold.

Song analysis

It merely speaks for RTE’s status as the Eurofamily’s dork dad status (say, if Ireland were a character in Will Ferrell’s Eurovision movie, would he be played by Eugene Levy - HA! trick question, there’s no such thing as a Will Ferrel Eurovision movie and also the answer is yes) that they thought a *literal* K*ty P*rry b-side by an ageing woman was going to get Ireland the success and recognition? BUT GASP SHE’S A LESBIAN SO SHE ACTUALLY KISSED A GIRL AND LIKED IT!!! whoa i have news Ireland, this is 2020 no one cares.

RTE: OH MY GOD WE HAVE AN ALMIGHTY EUPHORIA BOP!!! Also RTE:

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and it’s not “Story of my life”’s fault that people regard it with contempt, because poor “Story of my life” tries its best. I personally like the song and I like that RTE went with an *actual fucking LGBT person* with their rainbow-themed entry this year (DIEEEE TOGETHER DIEEEEEE). SOML doesn’t *TRY* to be some innovative, deep, “LIKE ME OR YOUR OPINIONS ARE VOID” type of song either. On the contrary, i think its dank datedness adds a small layer of pathos to the overall experience - “Story of my life” is so hopeless it becomes charming due to it.

Naturally, many people beg the question: “Why even enter a “story of my life anyway?” and well... beats fucking me, to be honest, but at least isn’t as viscerally offensive and/or boring as Ireland’s usual fucking tripe is so BOO HOO I WIN as far as I’m concerned. I’m not going to condescend its existance like others have, nor will I trivialize its message of “I WILL BE MYSELF NO MATTER WHAT AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE ME!!” The message may be vague enough to be part of an astrologer’s sidereal almanac, but message is good and personal and means something to Lesley, so... why would the meaning behind it be any less valuable than that of Fai Rumore? Messages don’t matter unless they do (that is to say, they only matter when other people decide that they matter, which most people simply didn’t bother with in this case because lol nbody got time for Kety Perr. u tried LesLes...x)

The problem for me is simple: everything “Story of my life” offers, other in this year do better.

If I wanted a frumpy bird-looking hag slay my life, I wouldn’t go for Lesley because MILA MOYA KATRYOSHA already fucking exists. If I wanted a perky little sanitized wokeness anthem, I would go for “CLEARPATRRA”. (although Cleopatra’s wokeness is hard to swallow due to the flag it is performed under - but more on this when I get to rank that next week) If I wanted an entry in which an insane blonde woman obnoxiously waives her life’s first-world-problems into our faces and dances on them, I’d go for “Steel Breeding”. (lol feminism my ass, but this too will have to wait for next week)

Ireland are sadly stuck in a purgatory of sorts: they are inherently likable, but don’t really offer much. They’re like that one RPG character who has cool lore and characterization, but advantages so insignificant you cannot ever justify using them in your party. Sorry girl.

Ireland 2020 vs Ireland 2021

I will give you a hint. 1) Ireland 2) A Katy Perry song 3) first half of a killer semifinal. It would have been another last place for Ireland, right? (since Vasil will get votes from the other Balkan countries at least - yes Lesley/Vasil would’ve been the bottom 2 anyone who thinks otherwise is a FOOL). “Story of my life” was dead on arrival even before we factor in Lesley herself. I mean, this may seem harsh, but this stood no chance:

Good lord the “Shout it out” by Mariette teas served by Lesley at times are real and fucking TERRIFYING. It sort of bothers me that frumpism only seems to affect women and not men, but like I said before, usually it’s the women who are rated *fairly* by the masses while men are given passes they don’t deserve, that’s the story of *my* life NA NA NA NA NA.

It will also be of no surprise to you that RTE haven’t confirmed Lesley for 2021 yet? Good. Let’s move on.

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

A of all, Ireland being fun? WHAT. B of all Ireland being fun twice in a fucking row? WHAT. C of all, how did this entry even come to be? It sounds like it came straight from 2008, plenty of resources were sunk into its production and it still sounds/looks like that and - again worth repeating - Ireland SOMEHOW thought it could do well?(in a semi where Eden Alene is a fucking BL qualifier) Did they approach Lesley and let her do what she wanted? or... did they interfere, somehow? Did they pick this song from 250+ hopefuls like they claimed with “22″? No clue how the RTE selection process works, besides the fact that it doesn’t.

If we really lean into the mold-breaking theme of the Freaky! Friday! Factor! this is a win all-around, however. Ireland are trying to be fun, modern, hip and relevant. ‘Trying’ did all the lifting in that previous sentence, but hey, you cannot succeed if you don’t make an attempt! They’re not quite there yet, but I do think their efforts deserve to be rewarded with a few Senheads:

Score: 3 Senhits out of 5.

#Eurovision 2020 #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision #Ireland #Lesley Roy #story of my life

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fandomanimatic-tournament · 1 year ago

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Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 1 Side A Round 3

The other side - The Greatest Showman Musical

"Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play? 'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride It'll take you to the other side"

How bad can I be? - The Lorax (Movie)

"How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be?"

Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber

"I contend that your drinking eye has never opened I insist somebody will die, and I hate hoping Wishing that the pills let you cry, and I hate coping Someday I will go back outside and see her, okay"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

The other side - The Greatest Showman Musical

Propaganda:

uhhh i never watched the greatest showman but the song goes HARD and its cool as fuck to see how ppl portray these opposing tropes & characters in their animatics

Obnoxious as hell but without it weed be down so many homoerotically charged interactions. The enemies to lovers people would be quaking

it was so popular even i wanted to make an animatic of it 😭 (i never did cause i didn’t even have a stylus at the time but i think that was for the better)

Luz and Hunter. Grian and Mumbo / Etho and Bdubs. Hawks and Dabi. I'm sure I'm forgetting something

oh my god??? the homoerotism of trying to convince ur enemy to join ur side??? whats there not to love?

The only objectively good song in The Greatest Showman deserves some respect, god damn it. Also it's a very catchy way to show a character's betrayal/character changes in general.

The song just overall slaps and also it's great for showing characters having a conflict with one trying to convince the other to join the opposing side

its very character driven, so no wonder its very popular. almost every fandom ive been in has an animatic of this song.

Animatics with the song:

Creepypasta Marble Hornets

Karmaland

BNHA Villain Deku

The Owl House

The Promised Neverland

She-Ra

How bad can I be? - The Lorax (Movie)

Propaganda:

it’s an evil bop

I need everyone to go watch How Bad Can I Be? By Public Spam Account. The best animatic every, plus the song is perfect for any villain character and came from a movie deeply important to tumblr lore

...the only propaganda i have for this is the time two years ago when a zine team gave andrew francis like $50 to sing part of it in the voice of morro ninjago thanks to a joke about onceler morro. someone did animate it if that helps at all

Animatics with the song:

DSMP

Hermitcraft

Darkstalker Animatic

DeadCells The King Animatic

MBIT ENTJ Animatic

Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber

Propaganda:

jack stauber is iconic for his contributions to the youtube animation community already but baby hotline especially it makes me evil <4

Animatics with the song:

Chainsaw Man

Your Boyfriend

Welcome Home

The Mandela Catalogue

The Owl House

Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.

#fandom animatic tournament #tumblr poll #tumblr tournament #tumblr tourney

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mashitandsmashit · 4 years ago

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America’s Got Talent: Season 15 - Online Auditions

Alright, let's talk about the online auditions...And I don't just mean the ones they actually showed in full on the show last week, I mean all of the ones that were available to watch before the season even began! You can find all the videos here (you can't miss them): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsNUxRA5hGXEAZI3Mk_D3JQ/videos

So let's get right to it, shall we...?

10: Erin McCarthy. I'm sure Terry got flashbacks to his Old Spice days (I know it was the other guy, but still...) I guess the horse was a pretty amusing touch, but this lady's so pitchy that I was getting a migraine! All that said, this was a HELL of a way to close out the auditions...

9: Chris & Syd. Well, the guy's a nice singer, and the dog...is good at howling...Otherwise, this is a silly gimmick, and won't likely make it past the Judge Cuts next week...That said, if they do, they're gonna be a real threat in this game, bringing in votes from both the Heartland and dog lovers...

8: Tommy Socks. It's funny how they showed this right after the dude juggling flaming axes and a chainsaw...and yet THIS is the most dangerous-looking act I've seen in these online auditions! Usually, a man his age shuffling around on a hard-tile floor in his socks is a LifeCall waiting to happen! And yet he not only remained on his socked feet, but proved to be very spry on them for his age! This act is a silly gimmick, and he won't make it past the next round, but he still has my respect!

7: Max Major. OH MY GOD! THE FINGER TRICK WORKED ON ME TOO! HOW DID HE DO THAT!? IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN SIMPLE PHYSICS, HE MUST BE A WIZARD! ...Or a demon, like Simon said...But seriously, this was nothing amazing...I guess the fact that he was able to do this through video chat was impressive enough, although I did just read a comment about an “invisible deck”, which does make it less impressive...Still, I'm curious enough to see what he can do on a live stage...

6: Lauren O'Brien. Impressionists are always fun, even if the novelty of them tends to wear out pretty quickly from round to round...But I enjoyed her, and her impression of Sofia is all the more amusing now that I've gotten to know her more throughout the auditions. (Silly accent aside, she is growing on me as a judge...)

5: Darius. I guess he won't give his last name...(Rucker?) Very likable personality, good song choice, and a very nice singing voice! I wouldn't quite call him my favorite singer of the season, but this was a nice audition...It's actually kind of a shame that we won't likely see him again...At least this season...But if nothing else, maybe I'll actually get a little respect for my miserable time working retail (even though I quit that job months before COVID even broke out...)

4: Alexis & The Puppy Pals. Well, she's not quite at Alexa Lauenburger's level yet, but she's on her way! None of the tricks were anything I haven't seen before, but they were very impressive considering the age of the trainer...How interesting that some of the best dog trainers to come on this show are little girls! All that said...The 80s called, they want their wardrobe back!

3: Aaron...Bonk? (Sorry, I can't see his name spelled out anywhere, only hear Terry pronounce it.) Silly little diagonal mohawk aside, I'm always a sucker for rebellious-looking people juggling chainsaws and flaming weaponry! I'd love to see him do this act on a stage, but since they didn't even show him in last week's quick compilation of online acts, we're probably not even going to see him again...Again, at least until he tries auditioning again for one of the coming years...

2: The Hurd Family. Clearly, the dad and the eldest son are the real talent, while the two younger siblings are just there to cute it up a bit...Some very strong dancing, but sadly they probably won't make it past Judge Cuts since they were given the montage treatment in the official episode...

1: Simon's pajamas. A brilliant spectacle! BRRRRAVO!

This was a fun little collection of talent, and the home-recorded nature of everything kinda added to the charm...The judges were also more entertaining while just casually kicking back at their houses...Like with “Saturday Night Live”, I hope it doesn't have to continue like this, but for now, it was different and enjoyable...(Unfortunately, the Judge Cuts will be more of the same, so I really do wonder how they're gonna handle the remainder of this season...)

Probably the only acts from this who will pass the Judge Cuts next week are Alexis and MAYBE Max (if he can pull off a good enough trick). Everyone else were either silly gimmicks who don't even have the quality of so-bad-it's-good, or weren't shown in full for the official episode last week...

But we'll just see...For now, let's move on to tonight's “Best Of” show...Here are the auditions they compiled for this episode...

1: W.A.F.F.L.E. Crew

2: Double Dragon

3: Brandon Leake

4: Brett Loudermilk

5: Cristina Rae

6: The Spyros Bros

7: Voices of Our City Choir

8: Alan Silva

9: Roberta Battaglia

10: Vincent Marcus

11: Archie Williams

The reason why I listed these acts is because all of them are most likely in the live shows already (not counting the Golden Buzzer acts that we KNOW are already there). The “Best Of” shows tend to be made up of acts that the judges and/or producers liked the most, and by the time they air, the live performers have already been selected weeks or even months ago...So you know they must have liked them enough if they're in this compilation...

Can't say I'm surprised by any of these choices...except maybe Double Dragon; They were a little under my radar...I mean, if it were up to me, this compilation would have included Malik DOPE, Noah Epps, Nolan Neal, Winston, Brothers Gage, Wesley Williams and Sheldon Riley...But Waffle and Spyros are probably my two favorite auditions this season overall, so whatever...

I guess these were pretty good auditions overall...A few boring episodes here and there, but there was still a handful of memorable acts...I'd LIKE to think they'll all make it next week, but we'll just wait and see...The format's going to make things VERY difficult, and we might not even see some of them compete again...

Even the Golden Buzzer choices had some decent variety for once! Only two of them were solo singers (one child, and one adult), and for the other spots we have a choir, a poet and a dance group...Waffle's still the only act that really excites me, but it's refreshing when it's not just four singers and a dance act...Plus, from a cynical business standpoint, the choices all make perfect sense...

As for which of them will win this season...Well, it's a VERY tough call...I'm still rooting for Waffle, and they DO have the right aspects to help them out...But so far, they're not quite raking in the same enthusiasm that other winners have...

Roberta has the most views BY FAR on Youtube...But does she really have the uniqueness or overwhelming hype that previous winners had? While I like her overall, I REALLY don't want her to win this season, because NOTHING about her is distinguishable compared to all previous winners...MAYBE the quality of her singing voice compared to other child singers, but even that is a tough comparison...

Otherwise, we've had child singers with much more unique gimmicks win in the past, she's not writing her own songs (yet), she doesn't have a unique genre...Hell, even in terms of which judge's Golden Buzzer she is, it's hard to root for her; It's only Sofia's first season, and she's basically filling in for Gab Union (whose GB won last season), who in turn filled in for Mel B (whose GB won two seasons before that). Come to think of it, aside from Howie's GB the season before THAT, the only judge who has SEEN their GB win each year was the female minority judge (seeing that NONE of the GB's won in Season 13...though it was probably MEANT to be Howie's again...)

Point being, if there's any season where Simon's GB is to win, it should be the one where he selects an act that has potential to be one of my favorites...I guess it wouldn't hurt to give Heidi a year either...Or hell, more seasons where the winner ISN'T a Golden Buzzer...(You never know...It could be Archie...)

Anyway, that's all I got for now...See you next week when we find out which lucky acts get to perform live...Or...well...as live as they can make it...(God, PLEASE don't make this our “new normal”!)

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

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663.

The Collector : What is in your Nine Inch Nails collection? What are you favourite items to own? >> I don’t have an NIN collection. I just took this survey because it seemed to have okay questions when I skimmed it. (Only these first four are questions about the band, lol.)

Deep : Favourite Nine Inch Nails Music Video? >> Closer, I guess. It’s the only one I remember aside from Only, which wasn’t all that interesting (song’s catchy, though).

The Frail : Favourite Nine Inch Nails Album? >> The Downward Spiral, I suppose. Never really thought about it. Year Zero was good too.

All The Love In The World : Favourite Nine Inch Nails Song? >> I don’t have one. There are a fair few that I like, of course, but I’ve never looked at one and thought “this one is my absolute favourite of all the NIN songs I know”.

Happiness In Slavery : Do you enjoy your job or school life? >> I don’t have either of those and I’m quite content that way.

Burning Bright (Field on Fire) - Do You Feel That During The Years As You Have Grown Up, You Feel Reborn? >> Death and rebirth is kind of just a theme with me, in general.

The Fragile : Do You Think You Can Fix A Broken Person? >> I think a person that feels broken can eventually come to feel less so. I don’t think that it’s anyone else’s responsibility to guide them there. I do think that other people can be a vital source of support and encouragement during that process, if they choose to be.

Ringfinger - What Are Your Feelings On Marriage/Relationships? >> I think marriage and romantic relationships are, you know, great. I don’t necessarily want to partake in romance, myself, but I see their value for others. (And, obviously, I see the legal/social value for marriage, seeing as that’s mostly why I agreed to it in the first place.)

Terrible Lie - What Is The Biggest Lie You Were Ever Told? >> I have no idea. One time my father didn’t tell me our puppy had run away or gotten loose or whatever until I kept asking where he was. I thought that was dumb.

Help Me I Am In Hell - What Is Your Worst Nightmare? >> I have no idea.

Gave Up - What Is Your Go-To Thing To Calm You Down When You Are Pissed Off? >> Venting to Can Calah. It’s about the safest thing I can do, because I tend to behave irrationally and potentially make things worse when I’m upset.

A Warm Place - Your Favourite Place To Be? >> In my bed, tbh.

While I’m Still Here - How Would You Like To Be Remembered? >> I’ve never given it much thought. I figure it’s beyond my control anyway.

Copy of A - Do You Believe We Are In A Simulation? >> No, but I’m always willing to entertain the idea for thought experiments.

The Becoming - Can You Open Up To Other People Easily? >> Not. At. All.

Underneath It All - Are You Over Your Worst Experience? >> Of course not. Repetitive trauma has left indelible marks on my body and mind. The more I try to pretend otherwise, the worse things get, so I might as well acknowledge it.

Love Is Not Enough - Do You Believe In “Second Chances”? >> Sure. They just don’t have to come from me.

Sunspots - Are You Afraid of Growing Older? >> Nah. I am afraid of becoming infirm, or losing senses, that sort of thing. But not just of growing older in general.

Sin - What Is Your Ultimate Pleasure? >> I have no idea.

Something I Can Never Have - If You Could Say Anything To The One Who Got Away, What Would It Be? >> I don’t have anyone like that.

Dear World, : How Do You Sleep? >> Fitfully, a lot of the time. I was sleeping consistently well for a while but in the last few months it’s been a roller coaster.

I’m Looking Forward To Joining You, Finally : Have you ever lost someone who meant everything to you? >> Sure. Eventually, I figured out that no one can actually mean everything to me, and cut that maudlin shit out.

La Mer : Do you love the ocean or do you have a fear of it? >> I love it and I fear it.

March of the Pigs : Do you eat meat? >> Yeah.

Closer : Do you choose to follow a religion? >> I’m considering it, but it’s a constant source of debate in my head right now. Mostly because I have this idea of religion as a restrictive thing, something that would take away from my personal sense of freedom rather than complementing my search for meaning or whatever. It’s something I feel like I need to discuss with someone other than, you know, my own self, to get some perspective aside from my own, but I have no idea with whom.

Starfuckers Inc. - Celebrities You Think Are Attractive? >> Meh.

Shit Mirror - Are you afraid of where the world is currently heading? >> No. I understand why people are, of course. I just... personally can’t afford to expend any energy on fearing for the future. I have enough on my plate with the present.

I’m Afraid of Americans - Do you follow politics or do you choose to stay out of that stuff? >> I choose to keep my political consumption to a minimum. For one, it legitimately doesn’t interest me most of the time. But also, like... it’s all a shitshow. I don’t think my life is enriched by knowing every little thing going on in Washington, or obsessively watching Democratic debates to figure out who is “best”. I don’t fucking know. I can’t be bothered. I’m legitimately just going to vote for whoever ends up on the blue side of the ballot in November, and hope for the best.

In This Twilight - If the end was nigh, how would you choose to go out? >> I mean, I doubt I’d be able to choose.

Year Zero : Do you have plans for the apocalypse? >> No. I don’t believe in the apocalypse and I tend not to plan for things I don’t actually expect to happen.

The Downward Spiral : Do You Feel Like You Have you reached your lowest point and have you recovered since? >> I don’t know if I’ve reached my lowest point. I’ve reached very, very low points. I think that’s enough. I’d rather not try to see if I can get lower.

Hurt : If you could, would you re-start your life again? >> Please, god, no.

The Wretched : What Do You Hate In Life? >> I hate the lasting effect of trauma.

The Lovers : Do You Have Any Vices? >> Sure. Drinking, mostly.

Maybe Just Once : Do You Feel Like a Lucky Person When It Comes to Love? >> I don’t really know what that means. I’d dare say that I’m pretty unlucky in love in general, because I... have not ever had much of it.

Gunshots by Computer : What Are Your Thoughts On Modern Technology? >> I mean, I love it? It has its downsides like anything else, but I love it all the same.

That’s What I Get : Did You Ever Have an Emo Phase? >> Nah. I pretty much stuck with goth through everything.

Not So Pretty Now: Who Is Your Most Disliked “Celebrity”? >> ---

Every Day Is Exactly The Same : Do You Feel Like You Are Stuck In The Same Routine In Life? >> Well, right now, I kind of do keep to the same routine all the time. I don’t think that I’m necessarily stuck, I just... live like this. It’s fine, for the most part. I’ve had a lot of excitement in the past, it’s not necessarily how I want to live my life all the time.

Get Down, Make Love : Do You Have a Cover Song That Tops The Original? >> Yeah, there are quite a few covers that I prefer to the original. Dream Theater’s cover of Rainbow’s Stargazer is an example.

Screaming Slave : Do You Prefer Heavier Music or Softer Music? >> I like both.

Ahead of Ourselves : Do You Think Toxic People Can Change? >> I think anyone can change. Whether they will or not is the question, not whether they can.

Leaving Hope : Is There A Song That You Listen To That Just Emotionally Destroys You? >> Sure, I guess.

Somewhat Damaged : Have you ever been in a full on physical fight? >> Yeah.

Piggy : Have you ever been betrayed in some way by a person you cared about? >> Eh, maybe. That’s not really the verb I’d use, though.

Lights In The Sky : Thoughts On The Possiblity of an Afterlife? >> The possibility is always interesting to consider.

Big Man With A Gun - Are You For Capital Punishment? >> I really have no opinion.

Eraser : What Would Your Ideal Final Words Be? >> ---

Ghosts I-IV : Do You Have Any Supernatural Beliefs? >> Some would say. Those aren’t the words I would use, though.

You Know What You Are? - Thoughts On Fake People? >> I don’t know any fake people.

Home : Where On Earth Right Now Would You Like To Be? >> I’m fine right here. We just washed bed linens and it’s always nice to burrow into a clean bed.

I’m Not From This World : What song just gives you the creeps? >> I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about a song.

And The Sky Began To Scream : Thoughts on How To Destroy Angels? >> I like a couple of songs. I haven’t really heard anything aside from that one EP, because I kind of keep forgetting to check out their other works.

Tapeworm : Do you have an embarassing illness/accident story you are willing to share? >> I don’t have any stories like that.

Fist fuck : Do you have any kinks/turn ons/turn offs? >> Yes.

Everything : Do you feel free? >> I guess. I never really thought about it, but generally, yes, I am free.

The New Flesh : Favourite horror film? >> I don’t know. I am very fond of the Hellraiser franchise in general, but not necessarily because of the quality of the films, if that makes sense... Oh, there’s also Event Horizon, that’s a horror movie and an overall favourite of mine.

#surveys #survey #themed survey

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thediverismylove · 5 years ago

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LOVER TRACK BY TRACK REVIEW

i forgot that you existed — don’t like the beginning she sounds like a robot lol. “in my feelings more than drake”??? girl no thank you. not a big fan of this song. 3/10. fave lyric is “it isn’t love / it isn’t hate / it’s just indifference”; least fave is “in my feelings more than drake, yeah”.

cruel summer — love the production on this one! her voice sounds really good and i love the way she sings “cruel summer”. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “so cut the headlights / summer’s a knife / i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone”; no least fave lyrics here!

lover — the TENDERNESS of this song! love how easy and pretty and acoustic it it is. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “my heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue / all’s well that ends well to end up with you”; no least fave again!

the man — okay “when everyone believes you / what’s that like?” wig! also when she’s like if i was a man…….then i’d be the man…….and the synths do That in the background? it does feel very Feminism 101 in the verses but the chorus is fun! idk i expected more from this one and it’s def fun but not an all time fave. 6/10. fave lyric is “i’m so sick of running as fast as i can / wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man”; least fave is “and they would toast to me, oh, let the players play / i’d be just like leo in saint tropez”.

the archer — SO gorgeous and vulnerable! love the gentle and introspective vibes of this one and how simple the backing track is. her voice is so pretty in this one! would love to hear this totally acoustic. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “i cut off my nose just to spite my face / and i hate my reflection for years and years”; least fave is the pre-chorus bit that’s similar to humpty dumpty you know the one lol.

i think he knows — ugh hate the intro again talky-singing works well for her sometimes but it really doesn’t work here. very bored by this one. it feels like it’s trying so hard to be fun but it doesn’t have particularly interesting instrumentals/synths/whatever and her voice is way too talky-singy for me here. the last chorus is kinda fun but not enough to fix the whole song. 4/10. favorite lyric is “he got my heartbeat / skipping down sixteenth avenue baby”; least fave is “he got that boyish look that i like in a man / i am an architect, i’m drawing up the plans”.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince — pretty intro! the talky-singing works a little better for me here. the pageant/prom conceit is fun. very amused by her still comparing her adult life to high school prom considering she left high school at like what 15/16 for music? jdeasjkkjcskjn it’s fun tho this song is fun. i have a feeling this one will grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “we're so sad, we paint the town blue / voted most likely to run away with you”; least fave is the “she’s a bad bad girl bit” lol

paper rings — ooh fun intro! like whatever effect they have over her voice. this one has a really cool beat. like the kiss me once/kiss me twice bit. the chorus is really sweet! the tune is very dance-worthy. i could def see this being played in a romcom (cue me adding it to the playlist for my gay summer camp romcom). didn’t expect to like this one so much but i’m enjoying it a lot so far! idk abt the lyrics im not even listening that closely jfekwjakjnkjn i just love the beat and the effect they have over her voice. also can’t stop thinking about when rey @theglowpt2 said “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” sounds something the try guys would shout at each other lmfao. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “darling, you’re the one i want / and paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams / oh, you’re the one i want”; least fave is “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” bc of aforementioned try guys energies making it humorous instead of cute as intended for me.

cornelia street — like her voice in the intro it sounds very pretty and soft! don’t like the weird synth thing going on at the beginning tho it’s giving me a headache. don’t like the way she launches into the chorus it feels very abrupt. “we bless the rains on cornelia street” lol is this a toto ref? this one is pretty underwhelming ngl. her voice is pretty in some places here though. would probably enjoy an acoustic version of this a lot more. 6/10. fave lyric is “and baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name”; no least fave lyric but i hate those loud synth things at the beginning more than anything.

death by a thousand cuts — totally thought this was gonna be a song about like. bitter ~haters~ or smth by the title. her voice is really pretty after the “my my my” bit! love the synths in this one. the line about the traffic lights…...wig! okay totally expected to not like this one but i kinda like it. laughing at her going “UNITED WE STAND” tho lmfao. this one will def grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright / they say i don’t know”; least fave is “our songs, our films, united we stand / our country, guess it was a lawless land”.

london boy — oh excited for the absolute INSANITY of this one girls! DID SHE JUST REFER TO HER HOMETOWN AS SOCAL GIRL YOU ARE FROM PENNSYLVANIA!!!!! also so amused about she needs to reference the fact that she is american and her bf is british so many times. if i heard this song out in public i’d have to die. did she make a p!atd ref lol. unfortunate as hell but it’s kinda fun. 4/10. fave is none of it; least fave is all of it.

soon you’ll get better — oh this one is gonna make me SOB i just know it!!!! the vulnerableness of it all. thank you for a song about family ms taylor! the harmonies w the dixie chicks i’m ascending. this one is so so gorgeous and heartbreaking and the first song off this album that actually really made me Feel Something. 10/10. fave lyric is “the buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair / in doctor’s office lighting / i didn’t tell you i was scared”; no least fave!!! She’s Perfect

false god — intro is fun! i like her voice in this one it’s #sexi. the line abt being nyc is funny lol…..girl what does that mean you are not a town what does that MEAAAAN. taylor swift said YES i fuck what about it in this song. the line about being the west village…...what does that mean? he’s expensive??? 6.5/10. fave lyric is “the altar is my hips / even if it’s a false god / we’d still worship this love”; least fave is “staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town / i’m new york city, i’d still do it for you, babe”.

you need to calm down — i REFUUUUSE to listen to this song all the way it’s so corny and ridiculous. taylor rly thot she was doing smth w this one. 3.5/10. no fave lyric; least fave is like. ALL of it it’s very cheesy.

afterglow — pretty vocals! love me some vulnerable songs. not much to say about this one lol. i like the chorus a lot. 7.5/10. fave lyric is “fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves / chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us / why'd I have to break what i love so much?”; least fave is “tell me that it’s not my fault / tell me that i’m all you want / even when i break your heart”.

me! — unpopular opinion but i actually prefer me! to yntcd. idk why i just feel like me! knows how ridiculous and silly it is but yntcd does not. maybe that’s just me tho? 4/10. can’t believe she killed the best line of all time aka “hey kids spelling is fun”...that was HILARIOUSLY BAD AND WONDERFUL AT THE SAME TIME. that would’ve been the fave; least fave is the awkward uncomfortable space where “hey kids spelling is fun” used to be.

it’s nice to have a friend — very forgettable. her vocals here are pretty but the song overall is nothing special imo. do like the dreamy vibes tho! 4.5/10. fave or least fave lyrics tbh it’s just boring to me pretty but boring.

daylight — WHY is taylor swift so obsessed w/ mentioning that some of her friends turned out to be dicks. absolutely OBSESSED w/ that edit that’s like “i wounded the good and trusted the wicked” over katy perry and karlie kloss respectively it’s peak comedy. very pretty vocals but has some unfortunate lyrics! 5.5/10. fave lyric is “i, i just think that / you are what you love”; least fave is “i wounded the good and i trusted the wicked / clearing the air, i breathed in the smoke”.

overall: probably like a 6.5/10? had some really great tracks like lover & the archer & soon you’ll get better but also some BAD ones like me!, yntcd, and i forgot that you existed. it was a fun time but not an all time fave. in terms of tswift album rankings i’m not sure where i’d put it yet get back to me on that one. anyways i’m gonna go listen to lucy dacus now bye

#taylor swift #lover #lover review #enjoy lads.....

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