#good morning everyone. hope everyone can have a nice day today and you recieve some of that good karma you've been building up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sorryjustafangirl · 3 years ago

Text

what home is

a/n: this is my submission for @antoineroussel 's summer fic exchange 2k21! thank you for organizing this all demi. i recieved @timstuetzle and i am so excited to finally share this! im sorry it's so late but i had a lot of fun writing for Tim and i hope i did him justice! i made this a gender neutral reader again, so please enjoy my take on some friends to enemies to lovers :)

pairing: tim stützle x reader

word count: 18k+ (holey moley)

warnings: some angst, set in no covid-universe, a few swears, an odd timeline

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! the banner is made by me, with photos found from pinterest and the transparent made by @art-and-the-hockeys (thank you!!!)

The start of the season was your favourite. The chill of the rink, the sound of skate edges on the ice, the smell of skate sharpening- it was all so familiar. As an analyst, the start was the best. There were new lineups, new plays, and a chance to try new things. Considering this was your first year as a real analyst, not just checking over others' work, you were excited. You got to actually help to build a Stanley Cup winning team.

What you didn’t love was how everyone seemed to lose their heads and decide to run around the arena. You’d been looking for the coach of the Ottawa Senators for the past twenty minutes. You’d think the man would be in his office the first day back, but no. He decides to take a stroll to who-knows-where and leaves you to follow invisible breadcrumbs.

Eventually, you found yourself on one of the lower levels. You continued down the hallway, entering an open space with concrete floors. The bustle of the new season was in full swing as you swerved between various people working like gears in a machine. You tried to do your best to stay out of other people’s way but you still ended up walking into a hard surface.

“Oof!” Shit. Hard surfaces don’t usually talk. You looked up at what you ran into and saw two men staring at you. Both were wearing Senators hoodies but one was a taller blond and the other a slightly shorter brunet. The brunet has a backwards snapback on but that wasn't what made you stop in your tracks. It was his eyes. They were soft and welcoming, something like a home cooked meal, but they had a glint of adventure in them.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I wasn’t really looking where I was going. I am so sorry.” You apologized to the blond you ran into.

“Hey, all good. I’m-”

“Number 7.” You turned toward the brunet. “And...number 18, right?” When they both gave you a weird look, you shrugged. “I’m an analyst here so, uh, you’re just numbers to me.”

“Okay, ouch but you are the reason we’re going to be winning more games this season, so I'll give it to you. I’m Brady, and this is Jimmy.” The blond gestured to himself first, before gesturing beside him.

“It’s Tim, actually.”

You introduced yourself to the two players, before looking around the hallways. “Um, would either of you happen to know where the coach is? I can’t find him,” You held up the file folders in your hands. “I’ve got new numbers for him.”

“Oh yeah he’s probably close to the ice, we’ll show you.” Brady started down a hallway, both you and Tim falling in stride behind him. “So Numbers-”

“-Y/n-” You glared at Brady for the nickname, rolling your eyes as he continued on. From your peripheral vision, you saw the corners of Tim's mouth turn up.

“-If you don’t mind me saying….either you look really good for your age, or you aren’t old enough to be working here,” He continued, giving a glance your way.

You looked down at your shoes and gave a sigh. “I get that a lot, and I am young-er than my colleagues but I assure you, I am qualified to work for this organization.”

“Wasn’t doubting that, just seeing how much I get to tease ya. Jimmy’s the rookie,” He elbowed him and Tim tried to swerve around it, only to bump into a stack of pylons. Brady and you shared a grin at his expense. “So he gets all the teasing. Same for the numbers people. You’re the rookie.” He shrugged

“Well, I’m not actually a rookie anymore. This is my second year here,” You mentioned, looking towards the two guys. Brady looked impressed whereas Tim’s eyes went large and his jaw slack a little.

“How?” He asked, and you laughed. The three of you turned a corner, and you walked slightly faster to talk.

“I graduated high school pretty early. And then took my statistics undergrad at the University of Ottawa. I minored in sports studies and I met your GM at a conference for the department. When he found out I was in Ottawa alone, he kinda took me under his wing, checked in every now and again. When I graduated two years ago, he offered me an analyst position and I was lucky enough to land it. I love working here, even if I’m way younger than everyone else. Last year, I stayed in my office a lot, double checking people’s work but this year, they gave me more responsibility. I’m excited for the challenge.”

“You are going to be great.” Tim said, meeting your eyes, his gaze showing that his comment was genuine. You ducked away from his gaze but muttered a ‘thanks’. The three of you rounded another corner, Brady ducking out to talk to a reporter, but Tim said he’d help you find the coach.

You settled into a comfortable silence as you walked beside each other through the chilled hallways. He abruptly took a left turn, cutting you off and causing you to bump into him. You immediately apologized, this being the second time today you’d run into a hockey player.

“‘S my fault, I’m still getting used to the new arena,” He said, a sheepish smile appearing on his face. He nodded his head down the hallway, as a silent ‘after you’ and you started walking. As you got further down, you realized Tim walked you out to the bench. The light became brighter, the air a little crisper, and the floor turned from a concrete grey to a bright red. Your eyes wandered up, admiring the view from down here. You’d be truthful earlier, you’d only ever visited your office. But from down here, you could see everything- the thousands of seats, the banners hanging from the ceiling, the crystal white ice. You stood close to the wall, as if to try to intimidate a fly on a wall, seeing everything as if you weren’t there. You could feel Tim could up from behind you, letting you take it all in for the first time.

“That’s Coach,” He leaned closer to you as he pointed across the ice towards someone in a tracksuit. You nodded and although Tim dropped his hand, he stayed close to you. The coach eventually noticed the two of you and started to skate over to the bench. Tim cleared his throat and you looked at him.

“I got to- I have to go now, but, um, I’ll see you around?” You nodded to his question, a soft smile on your lips. He rocked back and forth on his heels, as if he knew he had to leave but he kept getting pulled towards you. “Good luck with the season.”

“Good luck with yours too.” At that he turned away from you, and you turned to the coach, pulling out your file folder to talk with him.

***

A week or two later and the start of the season was upon the Canadian Tire Centre. The home opener was in a few days and your week had been hectic, trying to get notes from practices and implement what you saw into your analysis. After a morning full of spreadsheets, you decided to take your lunch break in your sanctuary. Last year, the arena felt too big to stick around in on your lunch break. So you had headed outside, where you discovered a small hiking trail about a ten minute drive from work. It quickly became a place where you went whenever you needed to clear your head. And after the morning you had, it was the perfect place to go, so you hopped in your car and started towards it.

At the top of the hill, you put the car in park, grabbed your lunch bag and started towards your spot. It was past the picnic tables that had a nice view of the suburbs, but it wasn't secluded. Your spot was off the beaten path, but there was a small ledge with a perfect view of the arena, highway, and surrounding green spaces. You turn the corner, ducking under a tree branch, ready to exhale the heck of the morning you had.

But there was already someone sitting in your spot. Their head was down, but you recognized the logo and number 18 on their hoodie. Cautiously, you approached him.

“18...Is it okay if I sit here?” You asked, and his head shot up. He shot you a small smile and quick nod. You sat down, placing your bag in front of you, taking out a granola bar.

“You can call me Tim, you know. That is my name,” You gave him a shy smile and you could feel your cheeks heat up at his comment.

“I didn’t think anyone knew about this place, Tim,” You mentioned quietly. It felt weird, to be honest, to be sharing your spot with someone, but it didn’t feel like he was intruding.

“My city in Germany has a lot of parks. There’s a forest near my house where I’d go when I needed a break. This is the closest I could find near the rink. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Just don’t go telling the whole team about our place,” you winked at him and took a bite of your snack.

“I can keep a secret, don’t worry.” He laughed lightly and sent you a smile.

“I don’t know if you remember me but-”

“You’re the analyst, you graduated super early right? Y/n, yeah?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” You smiled at him. “So, how are you liking Ottawa?”

“It’s alright, I haven’t seen very much of it. The ice is very good. My house is nice.” He shrugged and you gaped at him.

“That’s all you’ve seen? So you haven’t been to Parliament Hill or ByWard market or…?” you trailed off when you saw him biting his bottom lip and slowly shaking his head. “Well, you are missing out, you should go see the city sometime.”

“Do you think you could show me around? You seem to know all the best places,” He offered. You met his eyes and nodded. He dug his phone out of his pocket, passing it over to you. You raised your eyebrows at the gesture but he just pushed his phone closer to you. Silently, you imputed your number, placing a small graph emoji beside your contact name. You handed it back to him and a small smirk graced his face when he saw the emoji, before he pursed his lips at the device. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Sorry, it’s all good. Thank you. It’s- I have to go back now, but I’ll text you, yeah?” You nodded as he handed back your phone. He walked towards the parking lot, but turned around to wave at you before he disappeared around the bend.

Later that day as you sat in the stands, a clipboard and pen in your hands, you got a text from an unknown number.

It's 18 :)

You chuckled at his use of his number and texted him back.

i thought you said i could call you tim? :(

also it’s practice?? how are you on your phone?

It starts in a couple minutes

your teammates are already on the ice

Spying on me already??

it’s literally my job to watch you practice

Guess I'll see you in the stands then :)

Oh and I'm free this weekend for that showing of the city, team bonding’s on friday

i’ll check my schedule and get back to you

now get out on the ice or you’re going to be late :)

***

You had checked your schedule, and agreed to meet that Saturday. You said you’d pick him up since you knew more of the city. You didn't want to be late so you arrived five minutes early in front of Tim's place. He walked out in his signature backwards snapback, some curls poking out the front, and a monochromatic beige outfit. Waving animatedly at you, he jogged to the car, his ever present smile on his face.

The twenty minutes ride into the city was quiet yet comfortable. A few words were exchanged about how each other’s day was so far but nothing groundbreaking. The low hum of the engine filled the silence as you drove into the city.

After parking in a Superstore (‘Free parking in downtown Ottawa is hard to come by, Tim. We’re parking in the grocery store parking lot’) and walking a few blocks, you come to the far end of the market. Lined with local businesses and brick streets, it felt homey. Tim smiled as it reminded him of back home.

“So, what are we going to see first? Your school?” He asked as the two of you walked along the streets. You laughed and shook your head.

“Pfft no. It isn’t all that interesting. I figured we’d see some of my favourite places, if that’s okay?” He assured you it was and the two of you continued through the streets, Tim with his head down as you passed people. He wasn't famous just yet, but in Canada you find hockey fans at every corner. Soon, you arrived in a small plaza with coloured picnic tables and muskoka chairs.

“Ta-da!” You gestured to the large block letters that spelled ‘Ottawa’ in the middle of the space. “It’s not much, but you’ve got to be a tourist in your own city at least once right?” He laughed along with you and you got out your phone, ready to take a picture of him so he could send it to his parents. You thought he would want a picture of him but he was quick to insist you had to be in the picture as well.

“I’m sorry, but would you mind taking a picture of us?” You asked one of the girls who were taking turns with the Ottawa sign.

��Oh sure!” You stood beside him, between the two ‘T’s in Ottawa, his arm slung over your shoulders. You smiled and looked up at Tim to see him smiling as well- and not one of those classic boy coy half smiles, a genuine one. She took a few landscape and a few portrait ones before handing your phone back. “You two are such a cute couple!”

Before you could correct the girl, Tim answered for you. “We’re just friends actually.” She apologized profusely before rejoining her group. You shuffled your feet as an awkward silence overcame you for the first time since you’d met. Your body shivered and you promptly changed the subject.

“Hey, you hungry?” He shrugged and nodded. You nodded and led him away from the sign, through a few back alleys lined with a few merchants, home artists and such. You entered a building, bustling with people. It was long and narrow, with brick flooring and merchants on either side of the middle. There were lots of people, ranging from people doing their weekly grocery shopping to tourists looking for souvenirs. You weaved between strollers and friend groups, Tim grabbing your hand to avoid getting lost. He kept his head low, hoping it would disguise him enough. This day was about you and him, not you, him and the hockey world. Eventually, the two of you exited the indoor market and came to a small opening. Instead of staying in the opening, you turned left, tugging Tim across the street to two small shacks, one red and one blue. The red one had a classic fairytale vibe to it, with beige wainscotting, red painted window frames, and topped with a white and light brown canopy over the window. Underneath the canopy, there was a string of small Canadian flags.

“Do you trust me?” He arched one of his eyebrows but nodded. “I’ll be right back.” Confused, Tim stood there as you walked up the window, spending no time looking at the menu as you ordered. He looked above the shack to see in fancy lettering the word BeaverTails. When you came back, you were holding two paper containers and had a smile on your face. He looked at the sign and then back to the bags in your hands.

“A beaver’s… tail?” You laughed at him and handed him his BeaverTail.

“It’s not actually a beaver’s tail. It’s just a fried pastry that looks like one. They come in lots of flavours but I got you the best one, cinnamon sugar.” You could tell he was hesitant but bit into his and you took a bite of your own.

Almost instantly, he groaned. “Do you take every guy here? Wow. Oh my god,” He got cinnamon smeared over his chin and you laughed as he tried to wipe it off while holding his pastry.

“Hilarious Tim, but I’ll have you know you’re like my only friend here. So… no I don’t take anyone here.” He scoffed and you raised your eyebrows.

“You’re joking. How do you not have other friends? You’re great,”

“I started university as a 16 year math major. It’s not a surprise people didn’t want to talk to me. But it’s okay. I’m used to it by now.”

“Don’t you have people from home come and visit?”

You scoffed. “I don’t really get along with my mum. We moved around a lot when I was younger and I always sorta resented her for not seeing how it affected me. And then, when I got accepted to school out here, she sold the house and started travelling. Last I talked to her, she was in Tahiti.” He raised his eyebrows.

“What about your dad? Or brothers or sisters?” You swallowed your piece of BeaverTail before answering him.

“I have an older sister, Dani. But she’s eight years older than me, so we're not the closest. She checks in every week or so because she knows my mum doesn't. She’s never come out to visit though, she runs her own business back in Seattle.”

“It must be nice to have someone though. Especially when you were growing up. What about your dad?”

“I don’t- I don’t talk about my dad.” You picked at the pastry before changing the topic. “C’mon, you have to see this place.” You gestured to a side street and the two of you made your way towards your favourite destination. You exited beside a taller building and you pressed the button to allow the two of you to cross the street. As you were waiting for the light to turn, you turned to Tim.

“So, I’m guessing you don’t have any siblings then?”

“No, but the guys at the rink were like my brothers so it wasn’t bad.” The light turned red, and the ‘walk’ light turned on. You made your way across, staying close to each other as people walked both ways.

“Hockey tends to do that,”

“Is that why you picked to work in hockey?”

You glared at him as you made it across the street. “That’s personal.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we? Friends share personal stuff.”

“That’s… it’s just different.” You shook your head and lowered the volume of your voice. “Besides, we’re here.” The two of you had stopped in front of some shallow steps that led to a tall archway, with black statues underneath and on top of the arch. It had some engravings on it, both small and large letters. From where they were standing, Tim could make out some numbers, but not well enough to understand the significance. Behind the monument and slightly to the right was the green tipped roof and gothic architecture of the Parliament building.

“What is this place?” He tilted his head as he looked at the arch in the middle of the square. To him, it wasn’t anything special, perhaps another statue of one of the colonizers of the country.

“It’s Canada’s war memorial.” You whispered, and he nodded, clasping his hands in front of his body and lowering his head. “When I was going to school, I’d come here at least once a week.”

His head stayed where it was but he raised his eyes to meet yours. “Why?”

“I know it’s not exactly everyone’s favourite place...because I know so many people died for the country, but for me, it’s a place of silence. Of reflection. It reminds me to be grateful for everything I have. Some days school would be really bad, so this place was perfect to sit and remember that life isn’t bad at all. Not when I was in a safe country, not when I had an education, not when I had a warm house to go back to.”

He nodded. “That seems...perfect. Some days are too loud, there’s too many people saying stuff. I get that.” His voice was quiet as well, as he lifted his head to focus on the stonework and engravings. The two of you stood in silence in front of the memorial for a few minutes more before you tugged on his arm.

“See that building?” You leaned in close to him, your finger extending to point at a building in the distance, a little taller than the ones around it. “That’s the university’s mathematics and physics department. I had most of my classes in that building.” He nodded, leaning in closer to you, your heads almost touching. You lowered your hand and nodded with your head towards the way you came.

“C’mon, we’re not done yet. You’ve got to see the Parliament building.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and headed left towards it. You quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him right. “I’m the tour guide, remember? Trust me, there’s a better view.” You dropped his hand as he started to walk in time with you but you had to shove it in your pocket to replace the heat his hands gave you.

A quick ten minutes walk later and you stood atop a hill overlooking the river. It was a large park with benches and an eccentric art installation in the corner. You walked close to the peak of the hill and stopped, breathing in the fresh air.

“There is Canada’s capital building. It’s nicer to see it from here than from the front where there’s a bunch of tourists. Besides, from here, you get to see more of the architecture.” The building was across the river, its massiveness more pronounced from your viewpoint. There was a dome nearest the river that was covered in flying buttresses, each support beam having intricate details that stood out. The clock tower and green tinted roof completed the gothic look.

“This view is better. Quieter. It reminds me more of home,” You bump your shoulder against his lightly.

“Glad you like it.” The two of you stood in silence until Tim shivered, at which case you decided you should start heading back. If the hockey player was cold, it was cold enough for you too.

The walk and drive back was uneventful, aside from the two of you passing jokes back and forth. When it came to drop him off, he unbuckled his seatbelt but didn’t make an effort to leave the vehicle.

“How much for our snack? I’ll pay you back,”

You waved him off. “It was my treat, don’t worry about it.” He pursed his lips, then shook it. He pulled out his phone from his pocket. A few seconds later, your phone dinged. You glared at him as you opened the text to see an e-transfer. Before you could protest, he cut you off.

“You never said I couldn’t pay for your gas," He laughed, and despite your annoyance at the loophole, you found yourself laughing along with him. He had that effect on you; he seemed to be able to ease any tension you held. “I had a good time today. Maybe we could meet again sometime?”

“I’d like that. I’ll see you at the rink?” He nodded before getting out of your car, waving like he did that morning as you drove off to your place. When you arrived home, you saw a new text from him.

Can you send those pictures you took today?

You tried to suppress a smile, sending them over to which he responded with a ‘Thank youuuu’. You set your phone on your nightstand and turned off the light. Despite your efforts, you fell asleep with a smile on your face from a perfect day with a great person.

***

“Hey, Numbers!” You stopped in your tracks and turned around to see Brady sticking his head out of the dressing room. He had taken a liking to calling you that, especially as you had started hanging around the house more. It was nice, movie nights and sometimes you’d take a pre-game nap with Tim, you had even stayed for lunch at Tim’s request. At this point, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Brady to shout the nickname from anywhere. Practice had ended and you had given your notes to the coach about what to focus on for the Toronto game. “You didn’t happen to see Jimmy, did you?” When you shook your head, his face scrunched into a small frown.

“Where’d he go? Didn’t media like just end?”

He shrugged. “He didn’t even bother to change from media, he just stalked out. He didn’t say anything to any of the guys, so I thought you might’ve seen him.”

“I’ll keep a lookout for him,” You told Brady before he returned to finish dressing and you returned to your office. But even after you’d settled back into your work, there was a feeling in your stomach you couldn’t quite place. Sending a quick text off to Tim, asking where he was, you dove back into work. But it only took five minutes before you were checking your phone, seeing if he’d read the text or responded. When neither happened, you gave him a call. It sent you straight to voicemail and you hung up before you could leave a message. The feeling in your stomach grew and you packed up your bag, knowing no more work would get done tonight. It wasn’t like Tim to sulk or get in his head; he was a generally happy guy. Something must have set him off for him to be acting this way -- even with you. And if it was something this big, there was only one spot he would’ve gone.

“Brady said you stalked out of media. Figured I’d find you here.” He turned around at the sound of your voice, his shoulders dropping a little. He shrugged, which you took as your cue to take a seat beside him at your lookout space. The sun was setting, the golden hour light reflecting on his stress lines, and the sky was littered with wispy clouds.

Your hands were in the pockets of your hoodie, your legs tucked together. Despite being here for close to six years, the Canadian chill always surprised you. You sat with your shoulder pressed to his, a silent symbol of you being there for him. With his head down, he mumbled something too quiet for you to hear, so you leaned your head down to hear him better. At your movement, he huffed and lifted his head.

“I’m supposed… They wanted me to come and make a difference and to help win games. But I’m not helping! I’m supposed to be putting up points and helping win games, but we’re still losing! Like, why do I suck?”

Your chest got tight at his words. “Tim…”

“You can’t deny it, the numbers say we’re losing.”

“Losing doesn’t mean you aren’t producing. This is your first year in the NHL, you wouldn’t be here if they didn’t think you were worth it. Hockey is a team sport, it isn’t just your job to win the game.”

“But they wouldn’t have gotten me right out of the World Juniors if they didn’t need me to start making an impact right away! They were counting on me. And I’m not living up to it….”

“You are nineteen years old. Nineteen. The five other rookies ahead of you in points are all at least two years older than you. Let that sink in. You have so many years ahead of you. And secondly, no one here is expecting you to turn this team around. McDavid’s first year he didn’t turn the team around. And sure, yeah, the next year, the Oilers had more success but guess what? They missed the playoffs the next three years. Hockey is a team sport, one person, not even McDavid, can completely turn a team around. No one is expecting you to turn this team around in one season. This isn’t on you.”

“But the numbers…”

“Are you going to trust the analyst on the numbers or the assholes on Twitter?” He glared at you but let you continue on. “If you really want to talk numbers, we aren’t last in the league anymore. We’ve beat the top team in the division a couple times now. You’re putting up points, you’re helping us win. Cut yourself some slack. You’re nineteen and living in a new country. This team isn’t expecting you to be Ottawa’s saviour, okay?”

“There’s pressure to be better though! Everywhere I go, I just see how I should be doing more, how if I don’t produce more, I’m going to be a draft bust. I’m the young guy, I’m supposed to be the new blood and be able to make a difference. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.” His words lingered in the sunset glow, a contrast to the darkness he was feeling. You fell silent at his outburst, the air feeling too quiet, even with his heavy breathing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

You ignored his apology, knowing he would never intentionally hurt you. “I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I didn’t have enough job experience but my grades were one of the only reasons I was able to get hired so young. My first year, all I did was double check other people’s stats and predictions, and it was okay. No one expected much out of me because I was young and they didn’t really give me any responsibilities. But this year… they’re looking to me more. Teams with more than two analysts are more likely to produce teams that make the playoffs. I’m number three; I should be helping make a better team. But I’m not. I’m not getting the numbers we need or the stats we need. I know more updated methods and technologies but...it’s just not working. I’m not finding solutions to problems that this team has had for years. And the board and my colleagues see that. I know I shouldn’t worry about them firing me, but I still do. I mean, I’m not producing, why would they keep me around? This wasn’t what they wanted when they gave me the job.”

“They won’t fire you, you’re doing your best. And you’re young, you graduated early. They have to give you a chance to prove yourself in the workplace before they fire you.”

“You wanna take your own advice?” He flushed at your words, but you smiled. “Thanks, though.” He nodded and looked out over the suburbs surrounding the arena.

“The pressure in this league sucks.” He said and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Yeah. It does. But we’ll get through it right?”

“We’ll figure something out. Together.” He placed his hand on your thigh and the two of you looked out at the sunset, his touch lingering on your body until the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Silently, he helped you to your feet, and walked you to your car, making sure you got in okay, before he got into his car. On the drive home, your chest felt lighter from the conversation.

***

The final buzzer rang, signalling a 4-2 win for the Senators. You smiled at the scoreboard and gathered your papers. The game was nothing spectacular, but for you, it was a career defining game. Some of the lines you'd suggested were risky, but you had the numbers to back it up, and it worked. It worked. The conversation with Tim earlier last week helped with your confidence to take risks in terms of your analytic advice.

You went back to your office after the game, wanting to type up a report of how you impacted tonight's outcome. If it worked this time, who's to say it couldn't work again? But in a higher stakes game? You felt like you were finally contributing to the team, and damn, it felt good.

Your office was barely even that. It was small, but you had a desk, a window, and your name on the door. It was enough for your first major gig. You'd made it a little homey-er with a small succulent and some motivational quotes. You opened up your laptop and began to type up a document report. The words flowed from your fingers and you used the numbers you counted from the box to back up your findings. Time seemed to stand still as you typed, the document becoming longer and longer.

A knock broke your train of thought and you looked up to see Tim poking his head through your office door. He had a shy smile on your face and you shook the writing haze out of your eyes.

"Hey! Come on in," He nodded, closing the door behind him before leaning against the wall. "You played a good game." His cheeks flushed and he lifted his hat, running his fingers through his hair.

"Thanks, thank you. Anyway, did you eat yet?"

"I mean, I had an iced coffee before the game and a granola bar during the second period. So yeah?" Immediately he started shaking his head and he pushed himself away from the wall. You open your hands as if to say 'what’?" and he outstretched his hand to you.

"Coffee and a granola bar isn't a meal. Let's go get some real food, I'm hungry." He made a grabby hand with his outstretched hand and you sighed.

"I have to finish my report, I can't." He sighed, pushed your laptop shut, and grabbed your hand.

"That can wait. Besides, the boys went out and I need a ride home." He flashed you a shy smile and you rolled your eyes, before picking up your bag and leaving your office with him. You tried not to notice how Tim was still holding onto your hand, but as he tugged you along to a quiet area of the concourse, it was difficult to do. He stopped at a small table with two bar stools. He let go of your hand, cold enveloping you, and you hung your bag on the back of the chair. As you hopped onto the chair, he stayed standing, tapping his fingers on the tabletop.

“What do you want to eat?" When you shook your head again, he pulled out his puppy dog eyes. "Tim, seriously, I'm fine."

"I'm getting some fries and you will eat some of them. Deal?" Your face pulled into a frown and he repeated himself. "Deal?"

"Yes, Mom, deal."

He gave himself a self assured smile. "Great. I'll be right back."

A few minutes later he came back with a container of fries and two small containers. He set them down in front of you before he got seated. A closer look at the container showed one was ketchup and the other was…

"Is this mayo?" He picked up a fry, dipped it in the white substance, and popped it into his mouth. With his mouth full, he nodded. "You eat your fries with mayonnaise?"

"You don't?"

"No!" You shook your head. He took another fry, dipped it again, and ate it.

"You have to try it, it's good!"

“No, no thank you. You can keep your weird German eating habits to yourself." You laughed, dipping a fry in ketchup before eating it.

"Nope, you've got to try one. Please?" You scrunched up your nose, and he held out a white coated french fry. You gave in, taking it from his hands and shoving it in your mouth. You chewed it slowly, contemplating the taste.

"It's...not horrible." He raised his eyebrows at you. "Fine, it's alright." He gave you another look, a small smile forming on his face despite his efforts to hide it. "Okay, okay, I like it. Happy?" He let out a loud laugh.

"Yes! I knew you'd like it!" You laughed a little with him, before dipping another fry in the mayo and popped it in your mouth. The two of you ate in silence, the sounds of the zamboni in the background.

"Why didn't you go out with the guys? You had a good game,"

He shrugged. "I wanted something quieter. Besides, I was hungry and the guys wanted to go out to a bar. Bar food isn't exactly a meal."

"Neither is french fries,"

"Well, maybe, you're just better company than the guys."

"Damn right, I am." You smiled, tapped his fry with yours in a makeshift sort of 'cheers' way. When the two of you had finished your snack, you picked up the container and threw it in the compost bin near the table. You grabbed your bag off the chair, holding up your car keys. He got up off the table, joining you in a slow walk towards the parking lot.

You wished the custodians a good night as the two of you left the arena, the street lights in the parking lot illuminating the way to your car. Silently, you unlocked the car and you both got in. You gave him your phone, telling him to pick any playlist he wanted while you started the car. He picked one of your favourite playlists, a mix of relaxing beats and soft music, which was perfect for late night drives.

"You should have some lo-fi on here, it's a lot like this. I think you'd like it," he said, after you had merged onto the highway.

"Yeah?" He only nodded, allowing a comfortable silence to come back to the car. The rest of the drive was easy, the road being mostly empty and the music filling the car. He gave you quiet directions to the house, more points and here's than actual directions but you were able to find it.

"Thank you for the ride," He said, once you’d put the car in park.

"Thanks for sharing your food with me,” He shook his head and smiled at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“I’ll always share with you.” You caught his gaze, his brown eyes filled with sincerity. You could feel your cheeks flush and you waved him out of your car.

“I gotta get home too, you know.” You joked and he got out, popping his head back into the doorway for a second.

“Text me when you get home, yeah?” You murmured an ‘of course’ and he nodded, closing the car door and making his way to his front door. You waited until he entered the house before you drove away, turning on a lo-fi playlist from Spotify.

***

“Your turn to pick the movie, but no subtitles please, I’m too lazy to read today.” You handed Tim the remote for his TV while you pulled the blanket closer to your chin. The October chill had settled in his apartment and you hadn’t dressed for his room to feel like the arena.

“Jimmy!” Someone called from the kitchen and a loud clang dissolved any annoyance Tim had from his roommate interrupting his time with you. He rushed to the kitchen and you followed behind shyly. There were platters across the kitchen island, each with a different coloured dish. It looked like there was a salad, a couple casserole dishes, and some plates of desserts. A taller brunette was standing in the kitchen, frantically gesturing between Tim and a pot on the stove. There was a lid on the ground, a splatter of pinkish red liquid surrounding it. You entered the kitchen, picked up the lid before placing it in the sink. The other guy was still explaining to Tim what exactly he wanted to do, even though his head was tilted like a confused puppy. You brushing him aside llightly, grabbing the spoon Tim was holding to stir the pinkish red liquid on the stove. You sent him a small smile back over your shoulder and all you could see in his eyes was relief.

“Thank you!” The oven beeped and you noticed an embroidered #9 on the roommate's Senator sweats. You moved to the side to allow him to get another baking dish from the oven. He placed it on the stovetop and took off his oven mitts. “Thank you for doing that. I didn’t think he’d be that helpless in the kitchen.”

“I’m surprised anyone in this house can actually cook,” You laughed. The liquid that smelled of oranges and cranberries started to boil, so you reduced the heat and continued to stir it. You look at the baking dish that he brought out of the oven. “Are those brussel sprouts?”

“Yeah! My mom’s recipe; they’re delicious! Do you like them?”

“They’re one of my favourites! My recipe uses bacon though.”

“Oh nice! You’ll have to share it with me, I’d love to try it. And, sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Josh,”

“I know.” He shot you a look and you backtracked. “I-Sorry, it’s just-I actually work with you? I’m in the analytics department, so I know your jersey number and I saw it on your sweats and put two and two together. I’m not being a creep, I’m sorry.” The sound of laughter behind you made you blush.

“Not being a creep my ass. They did the same thing when me and Jimmy ran into them for the first time!” Brady commented, walking into the kitchen. He was wearing a nice pair of dress pants and a button up shirt. You shook your head before nodding towards his attire.

“Going somewhere nice?” He looked down at his outfit and shook his head.

“It’s Thanksgiving? It’s why they gave us the day off?” That...that would explain the amount of food in the kitchen. No matter how many years you lived here, you’d always forgotten that Canadian Thanksgiving was a whole month earlier. You placed the stir spoon on a plate next to the pot and wiped your hands on your pants.

“Oh! Um, right, well, uh in that case, I should be, I should get going. You guys must have plans. Nice to meet you Josh.” You made your way out of the kitchen to the foyer where your coat and shoes were without so much as a goodbye to the guys. You could hear Tim coming after you, his steps lighter and more graceful than Brady or Josh’s. But, he didn’t make a move to do anything except stare at you as you got ready to leave. It wasn’t until you were getting ready to put on your shoes that he spoke.

“You should just stay. We’ve got lots of food.”

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude…”

“Brady’s bringing his girlfriend and a couple other of the guys are coming over. You wouldn’t be intruding.”

“I really shouldn’t…”

“You should. Why won’t you stay?”

“I don’t know if you have this holiday in Germany, but Thanksgiving is a family thing, Tim.” You sighed. “Besides, shouldn’t I have brought something? Am I even dressed okay?” You looked down at your outfit - a simple pair of jeans and one of your comfiest graphic tees. He shrugged.

“Don’t worry about that. You look great, just enjoy the night with me. Stay? Please? C’mon schatz, you’re like my family to me.” The two of you maintained eye contact until you broke it and took off your coat. You could see Tim’s smile widen and when it came to walking back into the kitchen, he extended his arm. You took it and the two of you made your way back towards what would end up being a wonderful evening full of laughs and smiles shared between friends.

***

You had come over for a trashy reality TV binge after a particularly hard day at work. None of the numbers were adding up the way you needed them to and your laptop was having a hissy-fit all day. Soon enough, you called it a day and texted Tim, telling him you’d be over in twenty minutes. He greeted you at the door with your favourite chocolate treat, a box of Timbits, and “there’s popcorn in the microwave right now, it’s almost done”. You could’ve melted right on the spot. Instead, you made your way over to the couch where you collapsed and pulled the blanket he had already set out for you up to your chin. You breathed in the smells of pine and sock tape and felt your body relax. HGTV played in the background while you waited for him to bring the popcorn out when his phone dinged.

“Tim, your phone!” You yelled to him from across the living room.

“Who is it?” You sighed and moved from your comfortable spot on the couch to check his messages. You turned on the phone to see a message from Josh, saying he’s five minutes away. You went to lock the phone, seeing the unimportance of the message but something caught your eye. You swiped to clear the notification and his background came into focus. It was the two of you standing in front of the Ottawa sign at ByWard market, his arm around your shoulders and a grin on both your faces.

“Who was it?” He entered the room as he repeated his question.

“Just Josh,” you whispered, turning around to face him holding up his phone. “Am I your lock screen?” He blushes, opening his mouth stammering for words. “I am! I knew I was important to you.” You poked him a couple times for an extra tease when his face settled into a small pout and he retaliated by tickling you. You shrieked and hopped up from the couch, laughing as he chased you around the house.

“Stop doing that!” He laughed as you escaped his clutches once more. Your laugh echoed through the house as he tried again to try to tickle you, but you grabbed Josh and used him as a human shield.

“No fair schatz,” He relented his tickling and sat on the couch. You took a seat beside him, but kept your distance in case he decided to start his torture again.

“You know, you’ve never told me what that means,” You look over to him and he’s already scratching the back of his neck.

“What what means?”

“That thing you keep calling me. Like shats?”

Josh laughed and spoke up. “It means swe-”

“Friend! It means friend!” Tim interrupted loudly, his cheeks rosy. “It means friend.” You raised your eyebrows at his outburst and his explanation.

“You call your friends, ‘friend’?”

He scratched at his jaw and slowly nodded. “In my city, it’s common for friends to just call each other ‘friend’. It’s normal,” You managed out a ‘okay’ between breathy laughs, wondering why he was being so strange about it. It was just a nickname. But the blush in his cheeks didn’t diminish until well after Josh left the room, muttering under his breath about ‘idiots’, and you couldn’t help but think that maybe it meant more than Tim was letting on.

***

“Are you going to be at the gala on Saturday?” Tim asked you as the two of you ate (lunch for you, pre-practice snack for him) on the concourse. It was your first concourse snack since the All-Star break and you had missed him. WhatsApp messages and Instagram messages just weren’t the same as being in his presence. You finished your bite, and shook your head.

“It’s only for players isn’t it?”

“Would you want to come with me?”

“Like...as a date?” You looked up at him, your eyes wide. Maybe this was the clue you were waiting for.

“As friends?” Your eyes darted down onto the counter and Tim took that as a sign you didn’t want to go with him. “There’ll be puppies there.”

“Well,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, “If there’s going to be puppies, I need no more convincing.” You forced a smile onto your face and he returned the sentiment, before finishing up the food. You wished him good luck before the game, and left to go the the box.

Soon enough, it was Saturday night and you found yourself in front of the Fairmont Château. You gazed up at the stone walls and admired how the orange glow from the lights gave it such a warm feeling, compared to the shivers that were going up and down your back. You had found time to go and get a fancy outfit for the night, its gold fabric being a perfect fit on your body. Tim had told you he’d meet you inside, so walked upt the steps alone, avoiding the other guests in fancy attire. They looked like they belonged here. You couldn't relate. The front entrance of the hotel was exactly as you expected -- it had marble floors, crown moldings, and a domed ceiling. You followed the chatter to one of the conference rooms, someone offering to check your coat. With just your clutch, you entered the ballroom with the sound of your shoes following you.

You looked around to try to find Tim among the executives, easily spotting him when you heard Brady’s booming laugh in the corner. You made your way over to the group, including Brady, Josh, Drake, Tim and some respective dates. Josh waved at you and Tim turned around to see you walking towards him.

Tim stood there, memorized by the way the Senators gold fabric hugged your figure and the way your eyes had lit up when you saw one of the puppies. You came over to him, brushing his arm before joining the group. Hellos were thrown your way and it wasn’t long before everyone went back to their conversations and you were able to speak with Tim.

“You look handsome." You handed him your clutch, which he held unashamedly, as you adjusted his gold bowtie, letting your hands linger on the front of his chest. You gulped before snapping out of your trance and took your clutch back from him.

“Um, uh, thanks. You look...good too,” His voice was breathy and his cheeks had flushed a little. You smiled at him, before noticing another golden retriever stumbling around next to its trainer and darting off to pet it. Tim watched you go and he stood back, blown away by the way his heart was beating faster and how he couldn’t seem to get enough air into his lungs.

“You finally figured it out, huh?” He turned around at Drake’s voice. He had recognized the look on Tim’s face, it was the same one he had when he looked at his partner. Tim furrowed his eyebrows.

“Figured what out?”

Drake scoffed and took a gulp of his drink. “God, you already know and you’re denying it. You’re in love with them.” Tim shook his head, waving off the thought. You were his best friend, nothing more. “C’mon man, you can keep lying to yourself but it’s obvious to everyone else.” He was then swept away by a reporter, leaving Tim to his thoughts.

He wasn’t in love with you. He was sure of it. You were his best friend, his safe spot. It’s not like when he sees you his heart beats faster or he notices how your eyes crinkle when you laugh or when the sun hits your skin just right, you look like an angel. It’s not like the more he looks at your lips the more he wants to know if they taste like your sweet honey lip chap. It’s not like your smile could cure his darkest days or that he could see himself introducing you to his family as his partner.

Except it was like that.

Tim saw all of that with you. He saw more galas, more late night drives, lazy Sunday mornings. He wanted to see you after his games, not in your office, but in the tunnel where you’d be wearing his jersey and a special jean jacket. He wanted to take you home to meet his family, his hometown friends. He wanted to show you all the places that were special to him, just as you showed his places special to you. He wanted to meet Dani and see if she thought he was good enough to be your partner. As he stared at you petting the small golden pup, he realized Drake was right. He was in love with you.

He was in love with his best friend.

Fuck, what was he supposed to do now?

You didn’t give him too much time to think about that as you came up behind him, telling him everything about the golden retriever you just met. He smiled at you, and motioned with his head to find your seats as dinner was going to be served soon. You sat next to him, your leg brushing against his under the table. Even from that, he got shocks-- tiny lightning bolts trailing up his body. It was like every sense was heightened after he came to the realization that he loved you. How am I supposed to even act around them? He thought.

The meal passed without issue and while Tim went about schmoozing all the executives and donors, you stick with the other halves. You had already met Emma, Brady’s partner, and she introduced you to Dakota, Briar, and Marissa (she had also told you who they came with but that information had not stuck with you).

“Sooo… Emma, how’s the wedding planning going?” Briar asked. She had gotten engaged over the holiday break. She laughed and waved off the question.

“Oh, not at all! We’re just enjoying being engaged, it’s like the honeymoon phase all over again,”

“Just like you and Tim,” Dakota nudged you and wiggled her eyebrows. You coughed on your drink at her statement.

“What?” You managed to sputter. Emma looked uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. “What do you mean, like me and Tim?”

“Oh come on, it’s so obvious the two of you are in your honeymoon phase! Don’t be ashamed of it, you’re such a cute couple!”

“Ooh yes!! How his bowtie matched your outfit is like goals, I wish my boyfriend did that with me,” Marissa mentioned. Your voice felt caught in your throat and you were instantly aware of the breeze in the room and the sweat on the back of your neck.

“We’re just friends,” Your voice was small.

“I’ll believe that when pigs fly, babe. Oh, look, here comes your man.” Dakota winked at you before turning into her own date. You turn around quickly to see him walking over to you, laughing with Brady and Josh. Normally, the sight of him would calm you down. He was such a genuine person and you appreciated how you never had to shrink yourself to fit in with him. But with the girls’ comments, you suddenly couldn’t be around him. When his hand met the small of your back, you flinched before relaxing into his touch. It was just Tim, your Tim. It’s not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.

“Timmy, I was just telling Y/n what a cute couple you two are!”

“Well, what do they say? Oh right, they complete me,” He sent you a wink and pulled you closer to his side. You went stiff in his hold, and he noticed, instantly letting you out of his grip. You muttered out an excuse about work and said quick goodbyes to the group before you were out of the gala as fast as your shoes could allow. Your cheeks were hot with...embarrassment? No, that wasn’t quite it. But they were hot, and the room felt small with Dakota’s teasing so just needed to escape. You needed to have fresh air in your lungs, needed to feel the cool Ottawa air on your arms. Needed to be somewhere other than beside him and his light teasing that left your stomach in knots.

But you hadn't even reached the front door and grabbed your coat from the coat check when Tim caught up to you. He watched you try to put on your coat, as he rocked back and forth on his heels like that first day you met.

“Do you… do you actually have work in the morning or were you just saying that?” You looked up and met his eyes, the orbs holding a certain vulnerability you hadn’t seen before.

“I got called at the last minute. I forgot to tell you, Jody’s kid got sick so I’m covering the game on Sunday but I haven’t prepared my notes or anything and you know me, I’ve got to be prepared or I won’t make a coherent analysis and then I’m really in trouble-” Tim cut your rambling off with a murmur of your name and you slowed your frantic movements to look at him.

“We’re okay, right?”

You smiled at him before you walked out the glass door. “Yeah, we’re alright.”

***

Last night was confusing to say the least. You could still feel the heat in your cheeks from...embarrassment? No, it wasn’t that. It was more like you couldn’t stand around to see what he meant by his comment. You couldn’t stand around why everyone else say you as a couple when you knew you weren’t. But you were okay with not being a couple weren’t you?

It’s like not you liked him that way. Yeah, a simple smile from him could turn your day around and your concourse snacks were the highlight of your week. But that’s because he was your best friend. It’s not like you wanted to spend every morning waking up to him or spend your afternoons running your fingers through his hair. It’s not like you wanted to take him back to Seattle to meet Dani or how you wanted to wear his jersey to call him yours. It’s not like you daydreamed about him gently holding your hand as you walked through ByWard market or how soft his lips would be as he leaned in to kiss you or what his abs felt like without a shirt separating your fingers from his skin.

Except it was like that.

And then came the comment at the gala. Did that mean he liked you too? But he said you were just going as friends. Did he mean it platonically? What if you read things wrong? Fuck, why were feelings so complicated?

Dani, you needed to call Dani. She’d know what to make of all this. She picked up on the fourth ring. “Thanks for calling Books By The Ocean, may you please hold?”

“Dani, it’s me.” Hold music filled your ear and you rolled your eyes. A few minutes later, there was almost certainly a hole in your rug from your pacing and she finally picked up.

“Why’d you resort to calling the store? I would’ve answered my phone eventually,”

“Yeah, eventually. I just really need to talk to you now,”

“Okay, so what’s up?”

“There’s this guy…”

“Is it Tim? Please tell me it’s Tim.” When you didn’t answer, she rejoined before reeling it in and telling you to continue.

“Anyways...we’re pretty good friends, I've known him since like the start of the season, and I don’t know, like I think he likes me? And I mean, I like him, he’s really great but, like, I just-”

“Can you get to the point please?”

“I want to take the next step with him. I want to be more than friends with him. I want all those things but… I just seem frozen. Like when I think about telling him, my body feels like it won’t move. It feels like I’m underwater. But I want to do more with him. I want that. Why won’t my brain get that and let me… I don’t know, let me act on my feelings?”

“You’re protecting yourself. You’ve never got hurt before,” You scoffed at her statement.

“What do you mean, of course I have,”

“Okay, sure, when you scraped your knee or when Nancy Peters called you dumb in second grade but you haven’t got hurt before. You haven’t opened yourself up to someone and let someone into your heart and let them see you for who you are.”

“Well, yeah, okay, but that’s because they might not like what they see,”

She sighed. “You can’t go through life with your walls up, kiddo. It’s hard, but you have to trust yourself. You have to let yourself feel. You have to let people in. When we were little and moved around a lot, maybe it was a survival tactic. But you’ve been in Ottawa for close to five years now and have unpacked all your boxes? Have you had any friends over? You’ve put down roots there but you’re still holding onto a survival tactic when you need to be living, not just surviving.

“I let people in--”

“No. You don’t. Has Tim ever been in your apartment? Has he seen that even though you resent Mom, you still have family photos of the four of us in your living room? Does he know about Dad? You might have told him stuff but you’re still living behind walls.” She sighed.

“Look, I don’t mean to be hard on you, but I want to see you thrive kiddo. I want you to experience life, and yeah, hurt is a part of life. You aren’t doing life right if you come out unscathed. And sure, maybe he’s a great friend. But in some instances, that romantic partner can fill a more emotionally secure place. People usually place more trust in their partner than just a friend. You’ve got to open up to him more than you already have if you want more from him.”

“How do I do that?”

“You’ve got to figure that out on your own kiddo, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to talk to him. Honestly; no hiding behind your friendship.” You nodded to her advice, before realizing she couldn’t see you, and thanked her for her help. She hung up with the promise to chat again on Wednesday like you normally did. You threw your phone beside the sink and leaned your head against the cool counter.

Be honest with him

Okay, you could do that. Easy enough right? You just had to make a plan to tell him. You could do that.

***

You were walking through the halls close to the bench to deliver your latest stats to the coach. It was your job after the other analysts determined you “had the youngest feet” and could go scouring around to find the coach. You didn’t mind. Besides… if you just happened to bump into Tim while you were down here, well then that was a completely unplanned coincidence. Since the gala and your chat with Dani afterwards, you were feeling good about where you stood with Tim. And you’d made your plan. After the game, you’d meet up for after-game snacks like most home games and you had told yourself you’d talk to him then.

You had given the latest report to the coach on the bench, walking past the locker room towards the box when you heard Tim's voice.

“...I don’t know man, I just need a break from Y/n.” You stopped in your tracks. It wasn’t that you meant to be nosy, but at the mention of your name… you wanted to see what else he had to say. You hadn’t meant to smother him but you guess he saw it differently. Your shoulders dropped and you bit your lip.

“I only have a problem around them!” You could feel the breakfast in your stomach start to turn, the feeling of bile starting to rise up. A ringing started to fill your ears, the white static noise only being pieced by his once comforting voice.

“It’s just… We work together, you know? It’s awkward,” Where was this attitude when you were hanging out at the start of the season? Last week? If this is how he felt, why didn’t… what did he mean by his comment to Dakota?

His voice shook you out of your trance. “Like at the end of the day, I’m me… they pay me a lot to play my game and they’re...them.” At that, you rushed away from earshot. If that was how he really felt, then screw him. If he was the hockey star and you were just the analyst, then that’s what role you’d play. Nothing more, nothing less. And he wasn’t brave enough to say that to your face, you’d say it first.

This is why you didn’t open yourself up. If you were going to get hurt either way, it might as well be the least damaging option.

Over the next few games and practices, you kept your distance from the players. You avoided the bench, sending Jody to give reports to the coach. You kept your office door closed, the blinds closed, and you made sure to time your exits of the arena to avoid Tim. If avoiding him meant you avoided the inevitable conversation where he would tell you your flaws and point out every way you misread things, then you would do that.

After you heard that, you stopped going out of your way to pass by the boys in the arena. You went into your office, closed the door, and didn’t leave until you went home. When you had to sit in the stands for practices, you sat higher than you used to and ignored the waves and stared you got from the team. He sent the occasional text but you replied with an im busy too many times that he stopped trying. It was odd to you how he kept reaching out when he was the one who said he needed a break but you ignored that voice in your head.

It was a Friday when he finally confronted you. You had been so close to leaving the arena, just one more hallway, and you would’ve been out the door and into the parking lot. He had called your name and you tried to turn the corner without him but he caught up easily, grabbing your wrist to get you to stay.

“What’s up? It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever,” He let go of your wrist as you turned to face him.

“Well that’s what happens when you’re a bigshot NHL player and I’m a lowly analyst.” He squinted his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows at your statement.

“What?”

“Look, I don’t-- I don’t think we should be friends anymore,”

He slowly nodded, thinking your words over in his head. “Okay. Um...I think… yeah, that could be good. I don’t think we should be just friends either.” He shot you a shy smile with a spark of hope in his eyes but you frowned.

“Good. It’s settled then.” You turned on your heel and walked away from him, only wiping your teary eye once you had rounded the corner, refusing to let him see you cry. You missed the way he frowned as you retreated.

The weekend was spent in bed, repeat episodes of Loki playing in the background. Loki never hurt you the way Tim had, the way his words dug into your insecurities of being alone creating a wound like no other. You had turned your phone off earlier as it kept buzzing with messages from him. You didn’t want to hear his excuses of why and you didn’t want to explain that you’d overheard his conversation. But the season wasn’t over yet so you gave yourself two days to grieve. When Monday morning came, it was like nothing had ever happened.

Tim caught you in the main entrance way at the rink. It was close to 8am and you knew he didn’t have practice until 11, so it was obvious he was waiting for you. You walk right past him until he softly calls your name and you stop walking, but don’t turn around. “Why are you ignoring me?”

“You know why.” You whipped around and scoffed at him. “And you know what else? If you had a problem with me, you could’ve just said something. You didn’t have to keep hanging out with me.”

“What?”

“I think we should just keep this professional, 18. I’m nothing more than a background analyst to your hockey superstar, so let’s just stick to our jobs, yeah?”

“What are you talking about?”

“We work together, we shouldn’t be friends, you said it yourself. It’ll be better this way. Now, please, just leave me alone.” You brushed by him, bumping your shoulder with his, and you missed the way his jaw fell open at how quickly your relationship seemed to change.

He seemed to leave you alone after that. He didn’t check in and he didn’t send funny memes he found. He didn’t text you to tell you he landed safely on road trips and you didn’t congratulate him on a game well played. You could tell Brady and Josh thought it was weird but didn’t say anything, just gave you pitying looks when you passed by or caught their eye in the halls.

The Senators failed to clinch a playoff spot, thanks to an overtime loss to Winnipeg. The end of the season for you was nice. It meant a shift in your work to more prospects, and thankfully, a more flexible work schedule. You didn’t have to go into the arena and most of the players went back to their hometowns to visit. It was supposed to be a reprieve for you, knowing Tim wasn’t even in the country. It was supposed to be relaxing, going to all the places that had helped you in the past to regroup your thoughts.

But instead, it felt suffocating, strolling through the market. You’d been here thousands of times to clear your head, but this time the deeper you walked, the more the thoughts in your head swirled into a hurricane.

You’d never know what home felt like. You’d had friends tell you it’s having like extended family over around the holidays or it’s the peacefulness they felt at their lake house. You thought you had found it in Ottawa, its quaintness and history bringing you a sense of calm you hadn’t had before. But only with Tim did you feel that inner peace that home felt like. Only with Tim did you feel like you could take on the world. Only with Tim did you feel whole.

And that was scary.

Feeling like one person could complete you, like they had a piece of your heart you didn’t know you gave them, was scary. You were used to being on your own. You’d done it throughout your levels of schooling and throughout the beginnings of your career. And all it took for that strength to come crashing down was a bashfully confident German hockey player.

He couldn’t even tell you why. It would’ve hurt more to hear the exact reasons why you weren’t good enough for him, but it would have quelled your mind from picking on every single insecurity your mind could come up with.

Before you knew it, you were staring at the Ottawa sign. You glanced around to see couples waiting for their turn at the sign. Some of the guys had their arms around the shoulders’ of their girlfriends. Some of the girls had their hands clasped in their girlfriends’. Some people had their arms around the waist of their partner. But they all had a smile on their face, a fondness that was reserved for the love of their life.

Your eye caught the sight of a backwards Senators cap and your head whipped around. The person was tall and was wearing a grey hoodie. The man turned to the side and you caught a glance of the brown tufts of hair that stuck out of the cap. He threw his head back and the corners of your mouth turned up. Tim’s laugh was always infectious, even if you were upset with him.

But it wasn’t him.

He hadn’t reached out since the day in the hallway. As much as you knew you didn’t want to hear him say things more hurtful than what you overheard, you couldn’t help but wonder where you went wrong. The what-ifs tumbled around in your head, the possibilities of why suddenly your friendship was too much for him.

As you stood there in the market, the memories racing through your mind mixed with images of happy couples all around you, you knew you had to get out. You don’t really remember the rush of leaving, all you know is that the city that felt big for so many years now felt too small. You can’t go anywhere without being reminded of him, his smile, his laugh. How his eyes glimmer from the light of a movie. You drove yourself to the airport, knowing there wasn’t going to be a cab this early in the morning.

Before you knew it, you were standing outside of the familiar blue painted bookstore with your duffle bag in your hands. It was raining and overcast in Seattle, which wasn’t unusual, but even the fat teardrops felt melancholic. The sign in the window said closed, but you knew Dani would be in the back, organizing new stock. You knocked on the window, the sound rattling through the worn building. A few seconds later, her head of light pink hair came to the door, opening it. Before she could question your presence, you spoke.

“He didn’t want me,” you cried. “He didn’t even see all of me and he didn’t want me.” You dropped your bag as she pulled you into a hug. One hand cradled the back of your head as she pulled you out of the rain and into the store. You inhaled her scent, a mix of sea salt and the old bookstore, and squeezed her tightly. When she released you from the hug, she tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, her fingers grazing down your jaw. She gave you a soft smile, before walking to the back of the store, where her apartment was. Your shoes squeaked against the old hardwood floors as you followed her towards the kitchen, where you could smell a pot of tea brewing.

She was silent as she poured you a cup, kissed your head, before whispering everything was going to work out. She slipped out of the room, giving you your space.

You didn’t even have to ask. Dani let you stay with her for the summer, as long as you helped out around the store when you weren’t doing your own work. She didn’t push you for details about Tim, she just let you be. You tried your best to be cheery around the customers but that facade only lasted so long. When you were alone, you didn’t try to hide the emptiness you felt there.

***

Too soon did the days start to get shorter, the nights colder, the pitter-patter of raindrops became more constant which meant fall was coming. The season was starting up again, and you had to head back to Ottawa. This summer at home was a nice break but you knew that running away wasn’t going to solve all your problems. You were packing when a text from Josh came in.

So when are you getting in?

i land at 9pm on the 20th. Why?

Can’t I wonder when my friend gets into the city?

we’re friends?

Of course we are Numbers! I don’t share family recipes with just anyone :)

good to know thanks :)

You continued packing, thinking about what he said. You knew the two of you were friends, but he was Tim’s teammate. His roommate. To hear him say, regardless of where you and Tim stand, that you two were still good was a relief. As much as you’ve enjoyed your time away from the city, you missed work. You missed sitting in the arena, a brisk chill over your shoulder, the sounds of scraping ice and whistles. You missed the quaintness of Ottawa and, as much as he’d never let you forget it, you missed Josh’s cooking. Nights with Dani didn’t compare to nights with Brady (and sometimes Emma) and Josh.

Dani parked in the loading zone of the airport. She got out of the car to help with your bag, even though you had only brought one.

“Hey, listen, um. I know you don’t want to talk about what happened with Tim but… I think you need to talk to him.”

“Dani...”

“No, listen. I think you need some closure. You ran away from a city you haven’t left in five years, a city you so obviously love, because it hurt to think about him. Maybe closure means you talk to him. Maybe it doesn’t. But you’ve spent this whole summer looking lost, like you’re waiting for something to magically appear and make everything better. You look like you’ve lost a piece of yourself and you don’t know how to get it back. And that’s not you, kiddo. It’s never been you; you’ve always been so straightforward and sure of yourself. I want you to feel like yourself again, that’s all.”

“What if…” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “What if the piece of me that I lost isn’t something I can get back?”

“Then you fill it. It might not be perfect and maybe you need lots of tape, and maybe you accept that there will be small cracks in it, but those holes make your souls yours. It’s a part of life, and you can’t avoid it no matter how hard you try.” You pulled her in for a hug, some of the tears in your eyes dropping onto her shoulder.

“Thank you Dani. For everything.” She pulled back to wipe the tears from your face, a smile on her face.

“You know I’m always here for you, kiddo. Take care of yourself, okay?” You nodded, knowing if you spoke again, more tears would bubble over. You walked towards the departures gate, walking towards the reality you ran from.

Several hours later, you were happy to be back in Ottawa. You had missed it, as much as it pained you when you were here. Tim Hortons, bilingual signs, friendly smiles, and oh god you could have real poutine again. Yeah, it was nice to be back.

Dani’s words mulled over in your head throughout the flight, and continued to as you made your way through the airport. She was right, maybe you needed closure. Accept what happened and move on. You’d lost friends when you graduated early, you’d lost friends when you moved away. You’d lost friends before and this was no different.

Except you knew deep down it was different. It was Tim; it was always going to be different with him.

You shook your head, as if to physically rid yourself of the thought. If Tim didn’t want to be around you, then you weren’t going to waste your time waiting for him to show up. You’d suck it up everything you had to look at a stat, but other than that you’d focus on work, focus on proving yourself in the company. You started to walk towards where you’d parked your car (without wondering how much the parking was), ignoring the happy reunions of students and families. You had been perfectly fine being in Ottawa on your own until you realized how much better it could be when you had someone.

A hand grasped your wrist and instantly, you turned around and ripped your arm from the stranger. You looked up, first to see a bouquet of flowers made up of peach roses, white tulips, and hydrangeas. Behind the colours of the flowers, you see a familiar face, eyes full of sorrow and hope. Even when you were ignoring him, he was still so easy to read.

“Number 18.” You struggled to keep your voice even, but you lifted your head to appear as if he had no effect on him.

“Hi Y/n,” He met your eyes, which you quickly darted away. “These are for you.” He tried to hand the bouquet to you, but you shook your head.

“How did you know when I got in?” The coldness in your voice surprised Tim, but he didn’t show it, swallowing slowly before answering you.

“Josh told me." You folded your arms, your hands gripping your bag in case you needed to get away from this conversation.

“Josh mentioned it or you asked Josh?” When he didn’t answer, you knew it was the latter and scoffed at his sneaky actions. You quickly turned away from him and moved faster towards the exit. You heard him sigh from behind you and before you could make a sly comment about it beneath your breath, he was ahead of you, blocking your way. You tried to side-step him, but hockey reflexes prevailed. You glared his way and tried again, silently begging him to move.

“C’mon, you have to talk to me sometime, we work together,” He commented.

“That’s exactly it. We work together. You’re the high and mighty NHL superstar and I’m the nerdy analyst. We have our places. They don’t mix, so really I don’t have to work with you at all. So, please, if you could just move, I have nothing else to say to you.” You tried once more to step around him, but he lightly grabbed your forearm to stop you.

“But I have stuff to say to you.”

“You had months to say it, so I’ll say it again, please let me by.” Suddenly, he was on his knees in the airport, the flowers still outstretched in his hands.

“Y/n,”

“What are you doing?” You hiss to him, your face darting around to see people starting to stare at Tim’s grand gesture.

“I need you to talk to me, and you won’t, so I’ll beg until you agree to hear me out,” You could feel more people staring, the shutter of camera phones, the eyes of everyone in the Ottawa airport (or what felt like it) easily making up your mind. There was a reason you were an analyst, away from the spotlight, doing your work behind the scenes.

“Get up,” you started to pull on his arm, but he just stayed anchored to the ground.

“You’ll talk to me?”

“18, I will do anything as long as you stop making a scene,” At this point, your cheeks felt as if you’d stood under the beating sun for an hour. He got up from his knees, the flowers still outstretched in his hands, and you let go of his arm. You grabbed the flowers from his arms, dropping them in a garbage bin as you stalked out of the airport. Tim caught up to you and walked by your side.

You said nothing as you reached your car, unlocking the doors. You didn’t even wait for him to have his seatbelt on before you were backing out of the stall and driving away. Thoughts were running wild in your head; you were angry and embarrassed at the stunt he pulled at the airport, appalled at the audacity he had to show up after what he said, and last of all you were reluctantly happy to be back in his presence again. So you went to the one place you knew you could think.

You put the car in park overlooking the suburbs. You turned it off and rested your arms on the steering wheel. You couldn’t make the effort to get out and walk to the lookout spot, the car creating a safe bubble for your thoughts.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” His soft voice broke the tense silence in the car and you scoffed.

“We’re not friends anymore. You’re the Senators star player and I’m just the nerdy analyst. There’s no reason for me to need to talk to you.”

“See, you keep saying that but I-I don’t get it! What does that even mean?” You furrow your eyebrows as you turn to face him, his own face scrunched up and his eyes hard.

“What do you mean you don’t get it? You said that! The last game against Montréal? I was walking past the locker room and… I overheard you talking with the guys.” You looked down to your lap, findling with your hands. You briefly saw Tim’s hand start to move towards you, but you shook your head and it stayed in his lap. “You said you needed a break from me. You said that ‘at the end of the day they pay me a lot to play my game and they’re.. them’. You said you had a problem with me. What was I supposed to take from that except that you didn’t want me to be in your life?”

He stammered for words but you cut him off. “No, I don’t think you understand how much it hurt. Hurt to have the one person who I thought understood me to talk behind my back about how I wasn’t enough for them. It hurt to know that the one person who I always wanted to talk to, didn’t want to talk to me. Hurt to think that you’ve only ever seen me as just some nerdy analyst who has no place in your life. I had been fine before, without you in my life, but then you came in and knocked down every barrier I ever had. And then left as if you didn’t just break my life into pieces!

“I left Ottawa because it hurt too much to go to all my favourite places, because I went there with you. I let you into my safe spaces, and when you left, you shattered that security. You tainted all the good I had there. I thought that Ottawa was home before I met you,” you scoffed. “Not even close. You feel like home to me. And for you to say that I was a problem in your life?” You shook your head at him and looked down at your hands. “I tried to get over it, believe me I did. But every single place I went I was reminded of you… and how everything we had didn’t feel like a big deal to you.”

“I never meant for that to happen.” His voice was quiet and strained, as if he was trying to keep his emotions within him.

“You know the hardest part? I didn’t just have to get over losing my best friend. I had to get over someone I fell in love with! I lost the single most important relationship with one tiny little passing conversation. And you acted like nothing happened! Like we were still friends, like you still cared for me-”

“Ich liebe dich du trottel!” His outburst caught you off guard and you gulped. His heavy breathing was the only sound in the car as you whispered.

“You know I don’t speak German…”

“You don’t need to know German to know what I said,” His eyes were hard, a look you had only seen during games.

“Oh.” You shook your head and looked at him. “Wait what?”

“I didn’t say those things you think I did! You didn’t listen to the whole thing! Brady was teasing me about me saying I don’t have a problem talking to people I like and I don’t normally but you’re the exception! I needed a break from you because everytime I see you, my heart starts beating faster and my hands get sweaty and I don’t know how to act! And the guys said that sounds like I’m in love with you-- and I am! I am! But when I finally started to do something about it, you ran away from me! I didn’t know what to do. Besides, if I fell in love with you...it could mess with our jobs. Because if for any reason, something happens, they’d fire you before they’d ever trade me. And you’ve worked too hard to have an opportunity like this be taken away from you because of me. So... I didn’t know what to do. And then you just kept ignoring me and saying those things about how you’re just a nerdy analyst…. It felt like we weren’t on the same page anymore and I didn’t know where it came from or what to do either so I tried to give you space. But then you shut me out. And you said we shouldn’t be friends. So I thought that meant.... you wanted to be more than friends? And the boys were saying that you being mean to me was just you having a hard time having feelings for me but then you… uh, yelled at me so I left you alone. But that doesn’t mean I stopped thinking about you.” He placed one of his hands on top of your tentatively, giving you the option to shoo his hand away. When you didn’t, he rubbed the skin on top of your hand. “It never meant I stopped caring about you.”

He sighed. “I guess I see now that I should not have given you space. I should’ve been better for you because that’s what you deserve.”

“I could’ve been better too, this isn’t all your fault. I said some mean things.”

“I promise you, that when we’re together I’m not a NHL player. I’m just me… just Tim from Germany who likes hockey. You have always seen me for who I am, and that’s...that’s something I love about you.”

Your breath got caught in your throat. Love… was a big word. Love was for confident people. Love was for those who didn’t understand the weight of that four letter word. Love wasn’t a word you threw around. Love was scary. It asked you to place your bandaged heart in someone else’s hands and hope they didn’t drop it, shattering the pieces into smithereens. Love meant letting down those walls that time and time again had proved that needed to stay up. To protect you. To avoid the heartache of broken trust.

And here he was, throwing that word around as if the implications didn’t matter. As if he didn’t leave. As if he didn’t call you a problem. As if he didn’t know the months you spent trying to forget him and the fragments he left behind.

As if he still wasn’t understanding.

“I… I can’t do this.” You go to open the car door only for it to lock. You gasp, and you whip your head around, your eyes sharp. “This is my car, you can’t do that!” His eyes went wide and you tried again, only for it to be locked again. You gritted your teeth and he spoke before you could reprimand him again.

“Don’t shut me out again! You say you can’t do this, okay, but tell me why. We’re supposed to-to talk to each other! We would’ve had no mess if you had just talked to me after you heard what I said! So.. talk to me,” You met his soft eyes, your resolve breaking with just one look. “Please, schatz.”

You slowly pulled your hand off the handle, letting it fall into your lap. You picked at your fingernails while trying to compose your thoughts, Tim’s concerned eyes never leaving you. He murmured your name and you took a deep breath, steadying yourself.

“I’m sorry I just- I don’t know if I can jump back into where we were. I know that… it’s different than I thought but I can’t-” you cut yourself off before you said something you regret and a cold chill ran through you. “It still hurts. I can’t just unhear those things you said. Especially when they came from you. So, I’m going to need time to process everything.”

He placed one of his hands over your fidgeting fingers and you lifted your head to meet his soft eyes. “I’ll give you some space. Just let me know when you know, yeah?” Before you could nod your head, he had opened his door and got out of your vehicle. You quickly got out to question him.

“What are you doing?” He turns around at the sound of your voice.

“I’m… I’m giving you space?”

“How are you planning to get home? Uber?” He shrugged before nodding, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Uh, no. No. Get in.” He raised his eyebrows and you sighed. “It’s almost 11pm, we’re in a dark forestry area, and you are the least threatening person I know. I’m not going to let you get stabbed by some murder psycho; you still mean something to me, you know.”

At that he came over to the car, and the two of you got settled back into your seats. After you buckled up and started the engine, Tim broke his silence.

“Did you mean that? That I still mean something to you?”

You swallowed slowly and took a while to answer his question, your hand resting on the gear shift. You put the car in reverse, and looked over at him. “You’re always going to mean something to me. Just what exactly you are changes.” You backed out of the parking lot and started the drive to his place. He was quiet for a few minutes, pondering your answer, but when he spoke his voice had the quiet confidence he always carried around with him.

“Can I ask what I am right now?” Streetlights illuminated his face and out of the corner of your eye you see him slightly turned towards you, his face unsure.

“No. I’ll keep you updated?”

“Good enough.”

The rest of the drive back to his house was quiet, aside from the lo-fi beats you had playing in the background. Despite the tension, the drive felt comfortable. When you parked in front of his house, he cleared his throat.

“Um, thank you for the ride. I’ll see you around I guess,” He unbuckled his seat belt and placed his hand on the handle.

“Goodnight Tim.” Despite your smile, Tim really hoped your goodnight didn’t also mean goodbye. He got out of your car, walked up the steps to his door, unlocked it and gave you a small wave before he went inside.

Tim was true to his word. He gave you space. He didn’t go back to the lookout spot or the war memorial, knowing those were your sanctuaries before they were his. He didn’t ask for updates, he didn’t stop by your office, he didn’t ask Josh how you were doing.

And you appreciated it. The time and space left you alone with your thoughts and you often visited the lookout spot or the war memorial, trying to find some peace, but those spots were now shared with Tim. So, for the first time in a long time, you spent time in your apartment.

When you moved in, you hadn’t done anything to the place. Spaces were temporary in your experience. It was more hassle than it was worth to try to make the space your own if, in a year everything was a clean slate. But Dani was right. It had been close to six years now since you moved in. Six years. You had a stable job, you had friends here, it was time to accept that maybe this was more than temporary.

You started by unpacking the last few boxes that were stacked in the hallway. You replaced the command hooks hanging your picture frames with nails. You got new paint to liven up the living room from the basic beige it was before. You put the work into making your apartment really yours. You had to stop living behind walls and this was a first step.

The next step was to really open up.

***

You were waiting outside the dressing room for Tim to get out. You came down as soon as practice finished so you knew you wouldn’t miss him. You leaned against the cool concrete, trying to control your bouncing leg. He was one of the last out of the dressing room and you shyly smiled at the other players who left. When he came out, you popped off from the wall and stood in front of him.

“Do you still want to know why I picked hockey?” You could tell your question caught him off guard but he nodded nonetheless. “You had asked and I brushed it off...because it hurt to think about. Because it was my dad...He loved hockey. Everywhere we went, there was a team he could cheer for, but he always wished that his hometown team would win, no matter how bad they were. He took me to a game once. I had asked why he liked it so much, it was cold and loud and people were drunk and I’m pretty sure our team was losing. We were down in the crowd and he said to me, ‘Hockey is this great sport. It connects people. It creates families right before your eyes. Enemies can become teammates. This...this sport can be a family for you, anywhere you go. I hope one day you can find something that does the same thing for you.’ Two weeks later, he had a heart attack. So, I held onto the one thing that he found belonging in. I liked my math, it made sense, and I’m good at it. But when it came to doing something with my life, I just- I wanted something to make my dad proud of me, you know? I wanted to feel connected to him.”

Tim was silent but he pulled you into a hug, your head going into the crook of his neck. His arms went around your waist and he held you for a minute. “Your dad would be proud of you. I know he would. Why’d you tell me now though?”

“Well, friends share personal stuff, right?” You pulled away from the hug just enough to catch his eyes. You looked up at him hopefully, and he smiled.

“Yeah, they do.” He broke the hug, but kept an arm slung over your shoulder. “C’mon, friends also eat brussel sprouts for each other.” You laughed at his distaste for them and the two of you walked out the parking lot together, his arm still slung around your shoulders.

***

You looked up at the ceiling, your bedsheets twisted beside you. It had been about two weeks since you told Tim about your dad, and since then, the two of you had been exchanging texts daily. It felt familiar, even though both of you knew it was different. Not a bad different, just… different. You’d been over to his place a couple times and he came over for your place for a ‘welcome back’ dinner.

You were nervous to show him your apartment, but you knew you had grown into the space. It was no longer generic beige walls and command strips. The living room had an accent wall and you put nails in the wall to hang your family photos in the hallway. Tim took his time looking around your space, spending extra time in the hallway. He stopped in front of the picture of your family, all four of you, and smiled.

“My parents are coming into town when we play the Caps in December, if you want to meet them?” He had said when you sat down to eat. You sputtered your drink a little and set down the glass.

“Only if...you meet Dani when we go to Seattle in January?” His face broke into a grin and he nodded.

“I’d love that.” The rest of the dinner had no issues, just two friends catching up and getting familiar with each other again.

But he wanted you to meet his parents. He wanted you to meet the people who raised him, his family. And you didn’t have any hesitations. You wanted to meet the people who made Tim who he is.

This past week solidified that you knew what you wanted. You wanted to meet Tim’s family, you wanted to show him around Seattle, you wanted to be with him. If he still wanted to be with you.

If.

He had been pretty clear where he stood on his feelings, but the voice in the back of your mind taunted you with that one tiny two letter word. He might have seen how you reacted, how unstable you were, and how you weren’t ready to jump into things as a sign you didn’t want this. He could’ve taken your steps to being friends again as being just friends again. He could’ve-

You weren’t going to wait around to let what-if’s and might of’s and could’ve’s waft around in your head. You needed to talk to him, needed to see him. So in your pajama pants and a hoodie, you braved the Canadian night and drive to his house. You parked the car, rather haphazardly, but it could wait. You skipped a step walking up to his door and quickly phoned him.

You paced back and forth on the small porch as the phone rang three times before he picked up.

“Hallo?” His accent was thicker in his native language, the harsh constants sounding so soft from his lips.

“Can you come open the door?”

“What?”

“I’m outside. Can you open the door?”

“What? It’s like...early,”

A sigh escapes you. “Tim. I know. I know now.”

“Well if you looked at a clock before you left your place, you would’ve known earlier. That would’ve-”

“Tim.” You gulped and your voice trembled slightly. “I’m ready. I know what I want.” The tone of your voice dropped its lightheartedness and that alone was enough to shake the sleep from his mind. But your words? More than enough to get him out of bed and racing (as quietly as he could in the dark) towards you.

He opened the front door in his sleep joggers to see you pacing and shaking your arms. You hadn’t noticed him yet, so he took the opportunity to admire you. The way your hair fell, your Senator pajama pants that Brady gave you as a gag gift, the way you bit your lip between your teeth.

“Hey.” His voice broke you out of your trance, your head whipping around to see him standing in the doorframe.

“Hi.” Your voice was quiet, the nerves getting the best of you. You stood there for a while, just looking at each other. His hair was a mess and he was wearing the grey hoodie you knew for a fact was his favourite. “Oh, right, I have to go first. Um...Are- are you still sure about your feelings for me?” He nodded. “And-and they’re for sure, good feelings?”

“… They’re such good feelings.” You nodded and gave your body another shake through, as if to dissipate the nerves racing throughout your veins.

“I know it’s taken me a while to kinda sort everything out but… I like you too. That’s why hearing those things hurt so much. That’s why I had to take some time. I've been alone for most of my life and it was scary to let someone in so easily, unknowingly. You just waltzed in and made yourself at home in my heart and it felt like you belonged so I… I didn’t even realize you could hurt me. And when I heard those things, it hurt more. It just solidified that I should’ve stayed alone. You can’t get hurt if there’s no one to hurt you right? But every talk, every late night drive, everything we had...it was worth all the hurt. So I’m ready. I want to do this with you, even if it hurts. I don’t know if I can do life without you.” He pushed himself off of the doorframe and came to stand in front of you, his hand cupping your cheeks, soothing the skin under your eyes.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you and I don’t plan on doing it ever again, Y/n, you have to know that.” You nodded against his hands and you could feel some of his tension fade from his body. “Does this mean… we could be more than friends?”

“I want to be much more than friends with you, Tim.” You bit your lip to try to stop your smile from growing so wide, but it broke through when you saw how wide his smile was and how his eyes crinkled with joy.

“Does this mean I can kiss you now?” He asked softly, already leaning in. He left space between the two of you so you could decide but you easily leaned into him, your lips meeting. It was gentle but it was loving. You moved in sync, Tim’s hand moving to the back of your head to push you closer to him. Eventually, you pulled away for air.

“Schatz…” He breathed and you laughed lightly.

“You know, I don't think you've told me what that really means,” You said with a cheeky smile.

“Would you like me to say it in English, sweetheart?” He brushed his nose with yours.

“Hmm, German is fine,” You tilted your head upwards, almost brushing your lips with his. With your teasing, he let out a groan, bringing you in for another kiss. This time he broke for air, his eyes still slightly closed.

“You know, you cured my homesickness. I never felt like I missed home because I found home in you,” He whispered. Your heart melted and you brought your lips together with a passion he hadn’t seen from you before. Your hands tangled in his hair and he chased your lips as if it was a breakaway. When you broke for air, the two of you were breathless.

“As much as I want to keep doing that, it’s also very early and I am tired. Can we go back to bed please?” His arms were still around your waist, but he leaned back enough that you could see his face, puppy dog eyes and all. You nodded to his request with a soft smile, and went to remove yourself from his arms and go back to your car, but he tightened his grip.

“I got you now, so I’m not letting you go.” You buried your head in the crook of his neck and slowly the two of you made your way into the warm house. He led you through the dark hallways to his bedroom, giggling and sneaking kisses where you could.

You fell asleep so easily, the quickest you have the entire time you had lived in Ottawa. And it wasn’t only Tim’s warmth, or the way his sheets smell like hockey tape and his peppermint shampoo. You had finally opened yourself up. You had found that belonging your dad always wanted you to. And you found that in Tim; whether he knew it or not, he was home.

let me know what you think! thanks for reading!

join my taglist

taglist: @heatherawoowoo

#the summer fic exchange 2k21 #tim stützle #tim stuetzle #nhl imagine #nhl fic #tim stützle imagine #tim stützle fic #tim stuetzle imagine #tim stuetzle fic #ottawa senators imagine #ottawa senators fic #nhl x reader #hockey fic #abby writes

167 notes · View notes

hwangsies · 4 years ago

Text

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit”

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

��after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry, we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure)

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

#omgaaaaa im finally done writing this oof it took forever but it was so much fun #thank u for reading my loves #and dont forget ur beautiful and loved and drink water #ily #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #hyunjin oneshot #straykids smut #stray kids #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin e2l #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin college!au #big dick hyunjin #skskksks im sorry #i guess this is my 500 followers special lol #idk ahh ill add more tags later my brain be empty its late okay hahajajss

737 notes · View notes

honeytama · 4 years ago

Text

St. Patrick

Spinner (Shuichi Iguchi) X Fem!Reader

A/N: ‘St. Patrick’ by PVRIS goes really well with this fic, enjoy!

Commission for @dittomckiddo

Summary: It’s a miracle that you had been saved from an oncoming car. Plus, it also led to you meeting the guy of your dreams, one you’d never expect. After offering your services as a masseuse to him in return, you both end up growing close and come to realize the purpose in each other’s lives.

Warnings: Smut (18+), cussing, reader has a vibration quirk, meet cute, strangers to lovers, first time, tending wounds, praise kink, body worship, oral (giving/recieving), double penetration

Word Count: 7.5k

The cement of the sidewalk crunched under your work shoes on your way to the luxury spa in the middle of the city. The sun is just about to come over the horizon to break in the morning. Even though it was early, many people in your area usually came to open their stores and restaurants. Every morning you’d pass by the familiar donut shop owner who turns on their Open sign to start their day. Lugging your bag over your shoulder, which contains your spa uniform and toiletries, you walk block after block while half asleep.

You’ve always been in love with your job having the quirk that you do. It has made your life rewarding to be able to help people through your birth given trait. However, walking alone before sunrise to prepare the spa for clients every morning can feel redundant.

You walk along the same trail, the same path… make a right there, make a left here, and cross this street. Nothing ever changes, you think as you step out off the curb— Honk!

“Ah!”

“Ain’t watching the road, asshole?” the man holding you yells at the trunk of the speeding car escaping down the street.

You push yourself back into his chest into a hug with your arms thrown around his neck. “Thank you! Thank you, thank you. You saved me,” you squeal. “I can’t believe I wasn’t watching.”

Pulling away, you notice the flustered look in his expression as he looks around the rest of the block for something or someone. He mumbles something about “the morning” before trying to walk away.

“Uhm, wait! I feel like I need to repay you somehow.” The zipper of your bag is swiftly opened and you rummage through your belongings while he turns back to you.

He tries to stop you by placing a hand on yours but quickly pulls it away. “No, no, I don’t need your money—,” You pull out a small white slip of card stock from the bag and hold it out for him to take. “What’s this?”

“My business card! My name's Y/N, I’m a masseuse at the spa down there,” you point near the end of the street at the glass doors to your store. “I’d like to give you a free massage in return for helping me out.”

“You want me to call you?”

“Yeah, we can set up a session.”

“Fine.” He slides the card into his back pocket. “Just, don’t get hit by any cars on the rest of the way there. I gotta go.” He pulls his hood further down his face and shoves his fists into the front of his jeans.

“I won’t! Bye!” You watch as he quickly makes his way to a nearby alley.

—

The most gorgeous girl flung herself into my arms… and in front of everyone. I can’t believe I didn’t ask her name myself or give her my number. But, I had to get out of there. Damnit.

He reads off the business card you’d handed to him while laying in bed the same night you had met, F/N L/N, Professional Masseuse for the City Spa. Phone number and email...

Fuck it. It's a free session, she was nice to me, and my body hurts like hell.

You lay watching a movie and mindlessly scrolling through your phone near midnight. Tapping through your different social accounts, your phone vibrates and your screen darkens. The Caller ID ‘Unknown’ is written in white lettering across the top.

You tap on the answer button quickly, silently hoping it would be a call from the interesting man you gave your card to earlier that day.

Bringing your phone up to your ear, you wait for a moment in silence before speaking up yourself. “Uhm, hello?”

“Uh, hi, hey.” A deep, gruff voice comes to your ear. ”It's the guy you gave your business card to earlier today. Sorry, I was kinda nervous to call.” He explains. “Call me Shuichi, by the way.”

“Hey! It’s no problem, Shuichi. How has your night been?”

“Uhm, good?” He questions. “I just wanted to call to let you know I’d like to take you up on your free massage thing? It might be an inconvenience, though, uh I can't really— I mean, I don't really like going out. That’s why I left you so quickly this morning.”

“Oh! Well, it’s fine. I understand. The whole point of my job is to make people feel comfortable, so how about we do the session at your place? I can bring my massage table and everything else!”

Fuck. “No! No, uh, I mean. I have roommates and, uh, I don't know how they would feel about me bringing in a stranger.” Yeah, that's it.

“Hm, well I wouldn't mind you coming over to my place then? If you're fine with that?”

“Yeah! Good, that sounds good. Uhm, do I need to bring anything?” Her place?

“Nope! Just bring yourself on over. How does tomorrow evening sound? I can send you the exact time and place through text.”

“That sounds good then. I'll see you, uh, Y/N.”

“Great! Goodnight, Shuichi. Uhm, thank you… again.”

“That was nothing but, uh, you're welcome. Have a good one.”

The soft crackling ambiance of his location and voice cut out as he hangs up. You sigh before pulling the covers over yourself and getting really to rest up for tomorrow’s venture.

—

You had set up the massage table in the living room that morning. Right now, it’s about fifteen minutes until your new ‘client’ Shuichi would arrive at your door. You scurry around your apartment preparing warm face towels and pulling his robe out of the drier. You’d spent your time creating the right amount of mood lighting in the space you have using lavender-scented candles. You dressed in a clean pair of the usual massage uniform you wear for work. It’s a white top that wraps with a tie in the front and a pair of comfortable white linen pants.

Your stomach turned over on itself several times waiting for him to arrive. You want to make his session as amazing as possible, even though it's for free. He had saved your life.

You roll up the warm towels on the decorative side table in your living space and fold the plush robe to place on the sink in the bathroom. You check your phone seeing you have five minutes until he could show up at your place.

The second you pocket your phone in your pants, you hear three knocks at your front door. “He’s early.” Ok, relax. “Coming!”

You rush to the door from the bathroom and brush down the front of your shirt before opening the door with a smile.

Shuichi stands there with his elbow against the door frame with his head covered with a hoodie. When he notices you standing there, his arm falls from the door nearly knocking him out of balance.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey! Come on in,” you wave him inside to lead him to the small foyer. “You can take off your shoes here.”

“No problem.” He stumbles trying to take off his sneakers and you just watch him in awe. “Uh, wow, you have a great place.” He throws the gray hood off of his hair and light pink, voluminous locks fall to his shoulders. You didn’t get a good look at him the other morning, and now you can already tell this will be a long night.

He catches you staring at him and averts his eyes to admire the living room and its furnishings.

“Well, thanks! I, uh, spent the day setting everything up. The massage table is over there in the corner, and then I have some warm towels and candles set up just for the occasion.”

“Smells good.” His snout twitches a bit as he tries to catch the scent. Again, he catches your eyes looking at him as if you’ve never seen someone like him before. He clears his throat, “Uhm, where do I—?”

“Oh yeah, I left a robe in the bathroom for you to change into. Then you can come back in here and lay on the massage table face down. Just pull the sheet over your back, to uh, cover up. I'll be waiting in my bedroom until you call me back in here. Sound good?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he rubs the back of his neck and follows you towards the bathroom past the kitchen.

“I’ll see you soon, then.” You point finger guns at him before walking quickly into the back hallway toward your bedroom.

Pacing around the room, your mind splits to tens of questions and thoughts about the man you’ve brought into your home. How did you not notice how attractive he is? He’s sure different from anyone you’ve met before, but you’re so intrigued? And he’s in your apartment. Getting completely undressed in the room beside you. Being a professional, you’d never thought about having a relationship with a client. But, he’s not a client, right?

You feel slightly embarrassed about your reaction to seeing his full face. You hope he wasn’t offended by the way your eyes trailed along his features.

You hear him walk out of the bathroom in the slippers you had provided him and wait patiently for his call out to you.

“Uh, Y/N, I’m ready!”

You breathe out and leave the bedroom to meet him. Coming out from behind the corner, you see him lying on his stomach with a white sheet laying gracefully on his backside.

You stop at the side table to grab your bottle of massage oil and a moistened towelette you throw over your shoulder. “I was planning to focus mostly on your back, but it looks like you work out a lot, huh?” You smile down at him.

“Oh, yeah, whatever you think is best,” he shimmies his full body making himself more comfortable.

“Of course, I’ll lead through all I'm doing. Please let me know if anything I do makes you feel uncomfortable, alright?”

“Sure, yeah,”

You can’t help but gaze at the deep divots that cause muscles in his back as you warm an amount of oil between your palms. You cock your head slightly at the long and short scars that are sprinkled down the length of his exposed back. The green tint is slightly lighter than the rest of the forest shade of his scales.

“Getting started, now,” you place one hand on either side of his back and massage in small circles. You usually don’t try to talk too much during your professional sessions at the spa, but maybe talking with him will calm your nerves. “So, I see you work out a lot? Is it a part of your job? Or a hobby?”

“Uhm, yeah, I guess you could say that. I practice sword-wielding and, uhm, self-defense?”

“Ohh, that sounds really cool. You’ve definitely got a nice physique.”

“Nah, that's just what everyone looks like in my line of work.”

You hum as his denial of your compliment. He has a body he should be proud of; he needs to care for it a lot better than he has, especially under such stressful work conditions.

You bring your hands to his lower back and decide to finally use your quirk. Energy pushes down your arms to the expands of your palms and fingertips. Your hands start to vibrate at a low speed as you run them back and forth away from your stomach on his back.

“Is that your hands? Doing that?”

“Yeah, it’s my quirk, it got me into the line of work at the spa,” you explain.

“Feels... good,” it almost sounds like he doesn’t know if he should be feeling good.

“I have to say I’ve never met anyone like you before, Shuichi, your scales are so damn cool. You have an awesome quirk.”

He huffs at your comment. “No need to butter me up.“ Silence floats around the room while he thinks about the unfamiliar kindness you’ve shown to him. “I guess… I’ve learned not to think about myself in that way.”

“How come?” You keep your hands moving along the muscles in his back. The energy from your quirk continues to work at the tights knots underneath his shoulder blades.

“I just want to be seen for all of me, exactly as I am. I don’t admit it to many people but, I sometimes don’t like just being known as the guy who looks like a lizard. I do so much more— I wanna be so much more, than that.”

“Well, I see you. And, I’ve only known you for a day. I'm already intrigued by who you are as a person,” you reassure him softly. “Even if no one else respects you, know that I do.”

“That’s… that’s really nice of you,” he says with breaks in his voice.

“If I pried too much, I—,” you start.

“No...Sorry, I’m just not used to respect. Thanks.”

“Anytime,” you smile.

You spend the rest of his session massaging him in silence after that.

After you finish, he’s directed back to the restroom to get changed while you wait for him in the foyer of your apartment.

You shuffle around near the front door with butterflies in your stomach. It didn’t occur to you that you’d end up feeling such strong things by the end of the night. But, now, you’re pacing in some slippers while trying to find the right words to ask him out.

“I think I should get going,” Shuichi says, startling you.

“Oh, yeah, of course! I hope you enjoyed the massage.”

“I did,” his toothy smile warms you up.

You watch him retrieve his sneakers and sit on the arm of your sofa to put them on. Now’s the time.

You clear your throat. “I was wondering… Would you like to go out sometime?”

He shoots his head up, “A date?”

“Mhm,” you nod while wringing your hands nervously.

“I— Yes. I’d like that, Y/N.” A blush sweeps across his snout and cheeks. Your heart squeezes seeing this for the first time.

“Cool!”

“Cool,” he repeats. He points to the door. “Well, I gotta get home before my roommates suspect somethin’.”

“Oh, yeah!” You open the fort for him to go. Your meeting ends with a nice wave goodbye before he disappears again.

—

Over the past two months, Shuichi and yourself got to know each other through long phone calls, picnics in empty parks, and movie nights in the living room of your apartment.

One week ago, you spent an hour building the most comfortable pillow fort with him before watching his favorite action movie. Shuichi came to your door with your favorite take-out meals, a portable projector, and a pack of fairy lights in hand. You had given him the biggest hug after praising him for remembering you had dreamt of setting up this sort of date before. However, you had the gut feeling to ask where he had gotten those things. The urge to question him about it was stamped out by the immensity of your excitement to share the night with him.

You used all the blankets and sheets you had in the house to create a canopy over the couch and a couple of bar stools. The projector sat on a tower of books and faced one white wall of your living space. The ground was covered by your bed comforter and pillows were propped comfortably against the bottom of the couch.

That was the first time he had the courage to pull you into his chest as you cuddled on the floor. The remnants of your meals were scattered at your feet as you both enjoyed the film. He had watched you caress his chest with your fingertips.

By the third quarter of the movie, you both were all over each other; exploring one another’s bodies for the first time felt like nothing you had ever experienced. You had your first kiss early on, but you could tell he was nervous to get even rougher with you. After you made out and felt each other up for another hour, Shuichi left your apartment in the late of the night with a kiss to your cheek.

Even sitting alone in your apartment tonight, you had regretted not convincing him to stay with you. You sit on your couch watching your favorite show eating a bowl of pasta. You had checked your phone several times today waiting for a call, or even a text, from Shuichi. Your mind wandered to the worst thoughts all day. Was he just using you for your quirk? The massages? To keep you around until you put out for him? Though you know in your heart that something is there between you two.

You stare mindlessly at the television until your phone starts buzzing to your side. You’re pulled from your thoughts and you grab your phone expecting his name to be on your screen. You sign, realizing instead that it’s a message from the city you reside in. You tap to play the automated voice message:

“Citizens, by our information, we are currently aware of the presence of the League of Villains in your residential area. Please, stay inside and stay safe. There are currently heroes handling the situation.”

“What?” You grab the TV remote and turn the channel to the news. The luminescent screen shows streets burning in blue flame and people run for cover. You watch as heroes search the roofs and alleys for the League’s members; the commotion maybe only ten blocks from where you live. Nothing like this has ever happened this close to you before.

A hard knock at your front door pulls your attention away from the distressed news anchor. Even with this situation, you hope that it’s Shuichi coming to check on you, to see if you’re alright.

You rush to get up and open the door. And to your luck, he’s there leaning against the door frame in the same manner as the first time he came over. But. he falls into your chest the second he realizes you’ve let him in. With his chest against yours and his arms thrown around your waist, you can feel exactly how labored his breathing is.

“Shuichi, oh my god, are you ok?” You rub his back comfortingly.

“Y/N, I—I’m so sorry,” he groans against your neck.

“Look at me,” you pull away to pick up his chin from your shoulder. Facing him head-on now, you see the raw gashes on his forehead and bicep. “Holy shit, did you get caught in all that?” You point to the chaos demonstrated on the TV.

He walks over to the remote sitting on the armrest of the sofa and clicks the TV off. “I’ve got to explain something to, Y/N.

—

“You’re part of all of that… the League of Villains,” you repeat him. “And they call you Spinner? When were you going to tell me?

“I—I tried convincing them not to come to this area,” he laments. He sits in front of you hunched over your knee, distracting himself with the material of your pajama pants as you tend to his wounds. “Ah,” he hisses as you dab his forehead with a rag dampened with hydrogen peroxide. “I understand if you’re mad at me, Y/N. If you never want to see me again—,” he huffs.

“I understand why you didn’t tell me right away,’ you whisper. “From now on, can we promise to tell each other everything, no keeping secrets?”

“From now on?” He looks up to face you. “You want to keep this going?”

“I really like you, Shuichi, I don’t want to let go of you after this,” you kiss his cheek to reassure him.

A deep blush rushes to his cheeks. “I—I really like you, too. I’ve liked you since you said you liked my scales,” he laughs. “So, yeah, no more secrets, I promise you, Y/N.”

“Good,” you smile and take his hand to help him up. “I’m gonna run a bath for you.”

He watches your hips sway as you walk to the bathroom to set up the tub.

—

With the bath filled with a layer of fluffy, lavender bubbles blanketing the surface, you call Shuichi in from the living room.

He peaks into the bathroom before smiling at your kind gesture. “Are you gonna stay in here, while I—uh, ya know?” He stammers while pulling at the edge of his shirt.

“I was thinking I could give you a massage to help you relax. If that’s ok?” You watch as he pulls his top over his head in one fluid motion. His arm muscles ripple with the smooth movement. He drops it to the floor and then combs out his lilac hair with his fingers.

“Yeah, I’d like that. Uhm, could you maybe—?” He cocks his head to the side while rubbing the nape of his neck.

You giggle at his modesty before spinning around toward the wall. You hear him drop his pants and disrobe from his arm wrappings and eye masks. The costume he came to you with today was much more sinister than the cozy ones he usually wore.

The water splashes a bit as Shuichi gets into the tub. He settles himself to the side of it for you to get access to his shoulders. His mind silently thanks you for adding the bubbles prematurely.

You turn and he’s leaned back against the glossy, white porcelain of the tub. You run your fingers along the skin of his shoulders and he shutters as the surprise of your touch. You set both of your hands flat on his swelled shoulders and activate your quirk. He immediately lets out a breathy, relaxed noise. You move your hands back and forth and delve deep into the muscles of his arms and neck in a circular motion.

“Mmm,” Shuichi lets a pleased groan go out of his throat. He lets his head rest against your chest and takes note of the beat of your heart against his scalp. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course,” you say softly. Leaning down, you give him a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. You move your kisses to his jaw and cheek next. You watch as the water moves from under your lashes. Under the water, he rubs the tops of his thighs with his palms.

He clears his throat before stammering out, “Do you wanna, maybe, get in?”

You perk up at his offer. “You sure?”

“Yeah, c’mon in,” he confirms.

You deactivate your vibrating hands and stand up completely to take off your shirt and bottoms quickly. All of your shredded clothes form a puddle on the tile floor of the bathroom. You hook your thumbs to pull off your underwear and let them fall to the floor. It’s not cold in the bathroom at all, but you can feel your limbs shake slightly as you walk towards the edge of the bathtub. Goosebumps coat your bicep and neck as you carefully step into the water while grabbing the edge in order not to slip. Lowering yourself into the water, Shuichi faces away from your exposed body. A blush paints over his cheeks and snout. You sit across from one another, but he’s still so close.

“Hey,” you smile while flowing your arms through the water trying to get used to the temperature.

“Hey,” he responds. Shuichi holds out a hand out for you to take. “C’mere.”

You take his hand and he leads you to sit in front of him against his chest. You settle yourself between his thighs and clench your own legs to your chest.

“Can I tell you something?” His tone feels as warm as the water pooling up the middle of your chest. The soft fragrance of the bath relaxes you the most you've ever been in a long time; you melt into the cushion of Shuichi’s chest.

“Mhmm,” you hum while letting your eyes fall closed.

“I—uhm,” he stammers before taking a deep breath that you could feel against your neck. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me,” he says with a smile. “I didn’t have anyone to protect… to look forward to seeing before you came into my life. I’d be happy if just being here to save you from incoming cars,” he chuckles.

“I said it wouldn’t happen again!” you laugh and throw your hand back to press into his shoulder.

“Mhm,” he smirks, taking your hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

“I’m glad to have met you too, handsome,” you turn and smile up at him. “You’re so sweet to me.” You lift yourself just enough to place a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“Stop,” he shakes his head.

“But, you look so good,” you sing.

“I look good?” he laughs. “You’re the girl of my dreams.” You feel both of his arms wrap around your midsection and his thumbs massage small circles underneath your chest. He leans into your ear to kiss the crest of it before whispering, “I’m sorry to have worried you, baby”

“Are you going to make it up to me?” you softly say.

Shuichi’s eyes widen as you turn your body in full to face him. If he wasn't already involuntarily sporting a hard-on with your body pressed up against him, he definitely is now. He catches a glimpse of your glossed nipples and watches as water cascades down the valley made between your breasts.

“Fuck,” he places his hands on your hips to guide you to straddle his lap. “Look at you.”

You rest your hands on his firm shoulders before leaning into his exposed neck.

He holds his breath and holds onto your body tightly, his nails starting to dig into your flesh anticipating your soft lips against his scales. His neck is tickled by your tongue giving hesitant kitten licks to the side of his neck. Shuichi feels himself melt into your body further yearning for your lips to close over his muscle.

You both moan as your lips begin to suckle on the prominent segment of his neck stuck out for you to ravage upon. The scales that coat his entire body create overlapped edges that you can feel as you drag your tongue along in small circular motions. You pull at him with the suction of your lips and then give soft kisses to the darken spots you leave along the way. “Just kiss me already,” Shuichi concedes. He takes your chin between two fingers and brings them to his lips. He holds back for a second to admire the clouded, sultry eyes looking at him from under lashes before pushing through the wall of tension to kiss you greedily.

You feel Shuichi’s hand on your hip start to guide you deeper into his lap, but the sudden movement makes you pull away. The shallow sweep of his strong thighs against your aroused center makes you yelp against his mouth. Eager for more, you lift yourself slightly before starting to grind against his thighs his time of your volition. The bathwater moves around both of you in shallow waves. They splash against your back in a similar tempo to your motions.

“Mmm,” he groans against your lips. His hands leave your body before returning in front of your chest in front of him. “Can I?”

You nod and put both of your hands on the side of the tub to the sides of his head. You feel his fingers for the first time on your tits and only a second passes until you're completely comfortable. He explores your skin and nipples as you both kiss passionately; with his eyes shut, he searches for your nubs to roll in between his padded fingertips.

“Y/N,” he pulls away breathless.

“Mhm?” You continue to softly grind on his thighs and he starts to speak.

“I’ve never done this before,” he stammers. You quirk an eyebrow at him with a sly smirk plastered on your lips. “Y/N, not like that.” Shuichi shakes his head with a laugh. “I want to ask you… Would you—will you be my girlfriend?”

You can't help but stop in your tracks to give him the tightest hug possible. “Yes, of course!”

He blushes at your immediate response. His hands caress your back and slowly run down the length of it towards your thigh and ass cheek. “Your skin is so soft,” he squeezes the flesh between his fingers and palm.

“Spinner,” you let his secret alias slip from your lips as a moan while massaging the section between your rear and thigh.

“Shit.” It feels so good to finally let his hidden life be free, but how was he to know you would use his identity against him in this way? He feels himself pulsate underneath the surface of the bathwater.

While pulling away from his embrace, the hardened tips of his cocks brush against your lower abdomen. You hear his throat catch at the minuscule touch. “You—your, uhm—.”

“Yeah…,” he sighs, covering his face with his palm. “I know it’s weird. You don't have to—.”

“It’s not weird!” You reassure him while pulling his hand away from his face and towards your chest. “I actually,” you run your opposite hand up the top of his ridged thigh. “I think it’s really hot.”

He gulps once he feels your thumb run over the smoothed tip of one of his cocks. “Seriously?”

Looking in his eyes, you bite your lip and nod. “I want you,” you whisper while leaning into his chest until your tits press against his skin.

A guttural groan rumbles in his chest before he grabs your wandering hand lightly to stop you from going further. “C’mon,” he offers in a low voice. His scaled hand rubs the globe of your ass and then squeezes. “Let’s go to your bedroom.”

He helps you up from your sitting position in the tub to standing. The lavender foam sticks to his thighs and abdomen as he steps out onto the bathmat. Your breath catches at your first sight of his perfectly sculpted ass. The speed of your heartbeat quickens as you watch him saunter over to the counter for two fresh towels.

Once he turns around, Shuichi can’t help but permit himself to catch glances at your exposed breasts. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he smirks while handing you the towel. You feel the heat of a blush come to your cheeks while you wrap the towel around yourself. He offers you a strong hand to help you out of the tub. “Careful.”

Unwrapping yourself, you dry your limbs quickly while hoping to get back to being pressed against his strong body again soon. Once dry, you both throw your towels into the hamper.

“Alright, c’mon!” Your waist is pulled into his side and you feel your body being lifted in one fell swoop.

“Ah!”

Shuichi holds you against his chest with an arm hooked underneath your thighs and an arm holding your back. You swoon at his ability to carry you bridal style without breaking a sweat.

Once in your dimly lit bedroom, you're set down to stand on the carpet. Shuichi spins you around and walks against you until you both reach the end of your bed. Your lips lock together and you pull him by the neck to meet you on top of the soft duvet.

He settles himself between your spread legs and kisses you in fervor. You feel one of his hands roam back to your tits and he uses the heel of his hand to knead into you. Another hand grips the curve of your hip and his thumb rubs the skin above the bone there.

“Shuichi,” you moan against his cheek. “Feels good.”

“So… gorgeous…,” he peppers kisses along your collarbone and chest. “I want you so badly, Y/N.” He lets himself slide down your body while giving kisses to every piece of skin available to him. He ends up on his stomach with his head between your thighs. You rest your hands in his hair and watch as his lilac locks get wrapped in your fingers. “You okay with this, Y/N,” he mumbles against the muscle of your inner thigh.

“Mhm, please,” you whine. “You look so good with your face between my thighs.”

He groans at the sight of your already wet cunt spread in front of him. He quickly realizes it might be okay to be rougher with you; taking your physical arousal as a signal that you’re actually into him. You feel a nip at your thigh and it only makes you want him closer to your core even more.

Shuichi lets his tongue lull out of his mouth before licking a thick stripe against your thigh. The feeling sends a shiver down your spine and your pussy clenches in anticipation. “Who would have thought you’d be such a tease— ?” All of a sudden, his tongue explores your soaked folds and then latches onto your puffy clit. “Oh my, God,” you whine.

He groans at your sweet taste on his tongue. The vibrations of this sound travel straight to your sensitive nerve endings. You pull his hand to come back to one of your breasts as he continues his precise movements. You move two of his fingers to pinch your nipple and he obliges by rolling the peaked nub.

“Your tongue feels so good,” you whimper as you begin to grind on his tongue while tugging hard on his hair in your hand. “Shuichi?”

“Mmm?” He hums with his tongue pressed against your clit.

“Have you— ever used both?” you stammer. Your toes curl as you try to focus on his response.

His crimson eyes widen at you from between your legs. “Both?” he mumbles. “I haven’t.”

“I—I want to take all of you,” you feel heat rush to your chest as you admit to him the fantasy you've had since finding out what he’s been packing.

He hums deeply against your clit again before using a finger to pull one of your folds to the side. “I need to prep you real good for me then, baby,” he says proudly.

You nod and brace yourself for him to prod at your tight hole. Since dating you, he started to trim his claws down in fear of accidentally scratching you, and now that fact is even more important in this situation.

The suddenness of one of his thick, ribbed fingers enters your cunt easily with the amount of arousal built up. You gasp at the abrupt fullness of his long digit inside of you. The roof of your cunt is massaged by him slightly hooking his finger and pumping slowly.

“I’m gonna add another, you’re taking this too easy,” he says gruffly before nipping your inner thigh.

Shuichi pulls out and enters back in swiftly with an extra finger and continues to pump your pussy in a more quick pace. The soft padding of his fingertips hit the ridged, spongy section of your cunt repeatedly and it's like nothing you've felt before. You can’t help but bring your other hand down to help get you closer to your release.

He watched you bring two fingers to your hooded clit and turn on your quirk. The vibrating digits sound like a buzz in his ear, but how could he mind when you’re lewdly pleasuring yourself right in front of him. “Holy fuck, yes,” he retracts his tongue back into his mouth to allow you to handle your sensitive nub while his pumps into you vigorously. “Touch yourself for me, beautiful.”

That feels amazing,” you stammer. “Please, right there,” you whine. You rotate your pulsating finger in small circles.

“So fucking hot,” he says roughly. “Keep going, baby,” he attempts to encourage you towards your first orgasm of the night.

“Spinner, I can feel it,” you grind on his thrusting fingers. “You’re gonna make me cum.”

“Shit, baby, cum for me,” he adds another finger effortlessly. “Cum all over my fingers.” The tips of his fingers move together as one to knead the squishy flesh of your cavern.

“Mhmm,” you moan loudly as you feel the build of your climax being reached within you. All of a sudden, you feel it coming. You bite your lip as your legs start to shake; you fight through the intense feeling to pursue rubbing yourself to maximum pleasure. “I’m coming, fuck!”

“There you go!” He watches as your chest rises and falls quickly. The muscles of your cunt clench hard on his fingers. “Such sweet sounds.”

“How many—How many fingers was that, babe?” You breathe out with the air you have left.

He holds up four, glistening digits and pulls them apart to watch your arousal drip onto his palm. “That was super sexy, babygirl.” You watch him take his soaked hand to his cocks and stroke himself languidly. “Could I do down on you?”

“Yes—yeah, sure,” he says enthusiastically. You help him switch to the position you were in on the bed. He lays back against your pillows stacked against the headboard. He relaxes his brawny arms behind his head and spreads his legs slightly for you to settle yourself between.

You sit back on your calves and admire the ripples of his muscular form all laid out for you. The tips of your fingers trace the divots formed by his prominent abs; you drag your fingers tantalizingly down the lines that make a V to his phallus.

You observe him from underneath your lashes as you lean over his leaking cocks. Holding his heavy package as one in your small hand, you pump them in tandem.

“Is this ok, handsome?”

He’s focused so intently on your motions that all he does is a nod in response.

Two clear beads of precum perch on the outside of his cockslits. As your first move, you lick the beads away from his tips and let your tongue move in a circle over the two heads slowly.

“Oooh.”

You smile at his content before widening the O shape of your lips to take his cocks into your ready mouth. Letting saliva drool from your lips, you use your hands to coat his cock while moving your wrist in a twisting motion. You wrap your lips around his combined cockhead and drag your tongue along the sensitive slits.

“Fuck, you’re lips feel so good around my cock,” he whines. His muscles flex involuntarily as you suck hard on his cocks. The stimulation of his nerve endings send mini shocks to all places of his body in response to your movements. To pleasure what you can’t take between your lips, your hands pump him in upward, winding actions. You decide to turn on your quirk in turn for not being able to take his package completely into your mouth. Your tongue buzzes against his heads and your hands jitter while stroking him in full. The intense stimulation makes him create large amounts of precum; it drips and oozes from your lips down his shaft.

You hum against his hot muscles pleasingly, the taste of his sweet precum mixes with your saliva and coats the expanse of your mouth. You watch him as his eyes widen at the lewd use of your quirk, but he thanks the heavens that you could do this at all for him.

“Baby,” he says lowly. “I don’t want to cum just yet, I’m getting too close— too fast,” he groans.

A soft pop of your lips comes when you pull off of him. Proceeding to stroke him in one hand, you lift yourself to place a hand on his firm chest. Leaning down to meet his gaze, you whisper, “Do you want to cum in me?”

His eyes widen at your offer the second the words fall from your lips. “Yes, yeah, baby.”

You giggle and kiss the tip of his snout before straddling his waist

“I promise to make you feel so good, Y/N,” he groans against your neck. “I’m so turned on by your body, you have no fucking clue.” He holds your legs to his waist and rolls with you until your flat on your back against the mattress. You wrap your arms around his neck and let him spread your legs to the side. “Are you ready, Y/N?”

“Mhm, please,” you whine. “Fuck me, Spinner,”

“You got it, baby,” he holds his two, large pricks together in one hand. You hold the creases underneath your things and pull them as close to your chest as possible. He presses a hand into one of your thighs as he hovers over you. He rubs his cockheads over your clit and slit to collect the residual arousal before pressing softly into your tiny entrance. You both moan at the first touch.

“How are you— still so tight?” He questions. “Mmf,” he groans, attempting to push himself further.

“Oh, I’m a virgin,” you explain. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Wha—what?” He exclaims. “I thought you said we weren’t keeping secrets?”

“I thought it was obvious,” you laugh while playing with your breasts innocently.

“And, you wanted to take both of me? First try?” He brushes his hair from his face.

“Yes, Shuichi, I want you as you are,” you say sweetly. “I wanted to at least try.”

“I can’t even believe you wanted to spend your first time with me,” he admits.

“Of course,” you hold his cheek in your palm. “I actually have some lube in the drawer. We can use it,” you smile sweetly up at him.

“Ok, baby,” he kisses your nose and crawls to the night table before returning with a clear bottle. “I said I’d make this amazing for you, but now I promise it.”

You nod and hold his biceps in your hands as he settles by your thighs again. Repeating his process, he rubs the lube from his cock onto your slit and presses down onto your thighs so they go to your chest. He presses into your cunt all too easily this time.

“Oh my, God,” you moan together.

“You ok?” He asks.

You nod and Spinner pushes his hips deeper into yours. His cocks stretch your pussy slowly as he slides all the way in. “Feels—so good,” you squeak out. Your boyfriend starts his thrusts once he feels the back wall of your core.

“Damn,” his hot breathe hits your face. “You’re taking me so well, baby,” he moans.

You bite your lip as tears form in the corner of your eyes from pleasure. His hips rock slowly, but the girth and length of him are able to hit every perfect spot inside of you. “Please, go faster, Spinner,” you plead.

“God, you look so gorgeous under me,” he praises.

“You look so good,” you compliment. “I love your cocks, Spinner, please.” He smirks before grabbing your hips with his strong hands and pistoning into you at a more quick pace. Your breasts bounce as you’re pulled into him continuously. “Fuck, thank you, baby, thank you-,” you whine.

“Take my throbbing dicks, baby, good fucking job,” he encourages. “Your cunt is amazing. Clenching so nicely for me,” he says roughly.

“For you, baby,” you say as a moan. You hold your breasts in your hands and roll your nipples with vibrating fingers.

“Are you gonna cum on my cocks? Just for me?” He groans.

“Yes, yes, yes, please,” you plead loudly. “I wanna cum all over your dicks!”

“Then do it, babygirl,” he foments. “I wanna feel you clench on me all over again. You’ve got it in you, huh?”

Your eyes widen as you realize his words have triggered something inside of you. Electricity rushes to your center and you can’t hold back. “Fuck, I’m— coming!” Ecstasy encases your entire body as your eyes roll back into your head. You try to push your arm down between you both to use your hand as a vibrator for your clit and the base of his cock as he continues to trust into you with fervor.

“Ugh, fuck, me— too,” he grunts. His thrusts come to a slow before he releases his load into the back of your cunt. Ropes of gooey cum spurt into your cavern and coat your walls completely.

Shuichi rolls onto his back beside you and lets an arm fall over his eyes. Your heart beats loud enough for you to hear as you both lay together in silence for a moment.

“Fuck,” he groans.

“Yeah,” your voice is small and your throat feels dry. “Spinner?”

“Hey, don't pull that on me again,” he laughs. He gets up from the bed to go retrieve his clothes from the bathroom.

You giggle at him and crawl to the end of the bed to meet him before he leaves the room. “I was wondering, would you like to spend the night?”

“What?”

“Honestly, we don’t know the current situation out in the city right now, and I’m kind of nervous to let you go. I want to be able to protect you, too.”

“I’d love to stay here with you,” he smiles. “Wanna protect me from my own crimes, huh?”

“Just come back to bed, please,” you whine.

“Ain't gonna get in without my pants, baby,” he taunts. “Unless you want your second time, now?”

“Shuichi,” you cover your face with the sheets. “Can you at least bring me my underwear too?” You plead. He nods and walks out of the room. You lay there alone in the dimly lit room for a minute. All you can do is smile to yourself at how lucky you feel.

Shuichi comes back and the mattress bounces as he hops into bed with you. You put on your undergarments quickly and then snuggle up close to your boyfriend.

“Goodnight, Spinner,” you say into his chest.

You earn a quick kiss to the forehead. “Goodnight, baby.”

Tag List: @knifeewifee @lilli-chae @thedreadthreadanomaly @ivymemnoch @beauty-in-ferality @cannibalchan @bnhabookclub @bakatenshii @gallickingun @hawks-senseis @royal-after-dark @wakaoujisenhime @shinsotired @lovelusional

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha spinner #mha spinner #honeytama commission #spinner x reader #shuichi iguchi x reader #spinner #shuichi iguchi #spinner smut #shuichi iguchi smut #lov #league of villians x reader #league of villians #writing

195 notes · View notes

extrovertedlyintrovertwriter · 4 years ago

Note

Could I request a scenario for ATEEZ jongho

(But also including other ATEEZ members)

Where y/k begins to catch feelings for jongho and the rest of the group members know about it, and tease them about it. (Can it also be a mutual romantic love as well)

And a plot where they go to a carnival and jongho is playing all the games to try and impress y/k 😂 (and then the members try to get them alone so they can confess their feelings for each other) (Male reader X Member) if you can please)

Sure. That's such a cute request. Honestly this is one of the best and cutest requests I've recieved. Here u go. Hope u enjoy it.

Warnings:- it's gonna be hella long, otherwise nothing.

Genre:- fluff and probably comedy?

Pairing:- Male Reader X Ateez Jongho

PART 1

[ The First Meeting ]

(That smile)

Author POV:-

It was 11pm already and you were still at your regular night cafe that was near the KQ Entertainment building.

You were finishing up with your school project on the history of Spain.

ATEEZ was having a night practice that day and thought of getting a drink to refresh before going to their dorms to sleep.

They entered the cafe which caused the bell hanged on the door to ring, that just in a way broke ur focus, cause u were stressed from it. It caused you to groan in frustration.

That groan caught boys attention. They were like what this kid is doing here at this hour. They felt that u were kinda tiny and cute and they compared you to yeosang earning a shy and embarrassed laugh from him.

They pointed u out to Jongho and man, he was mesmerized by that beauty of urs. U had a hairstyle similar to that StrayKids Hyunjin had in the My Pace era.

Jongho POV:-

Once I saw him, I wondered that if there was anyone else cuter and handsome that he is. Him wearing a white oversized hoodie with a black skinny jeans gave me kinda cute feels specially when I noticed his hand while he took a sip of his coffee. The sweater paws he got. I felt soft for him.

Hongjoong hyung got me out of my dreams.

HJ:- "jongho? Jongho? Jongho-ya?"

JH:- "huh? What is it hyung?"

SH:- "You were staring at him for quite a while. You sure, that you haven't fallen in love with him?" Seonghwa said teasingly.

JH:- "Naah!!!! He just looks kinda looks like Yeosang hyung. He looks tiny and cute." This earned him a playful punch from the older.

End of Jongho POV.

Y/n POV:-

I just looked up from my laptop to the 8 boys staring at me. But one of them caught my attention. I immediately realised that he's jongho with the rest of the ATEEZ members.

I didn't approach them, just to appreciate their personal space. But I saw Jongho hyung staring at me. I looked at him too and we made an eye contact which was broken by Hongjoong hyung. I felt the heat creeping up to my face. I cleared my throat and started typing on my laptop again. Within 10 mins I was done with the project and excitedly and absent-mindedly I yelled "FINALLY DONE." Then I realised that I wasn't at my dorm and saw the 8 boys giggling at me. The barista came and told me that they were asking if I could go over to their table for a moment.

I agreed. Like who will deny ATEEZ. I packed up and hung my bagpack over my one shoulder and went to their table. They gave me a note which seemed more of a letter to the KQ staff.

I looked at them confused. They asked me if I could come and meet them at their practice room the next day.

"staff won't let me in with this note, cause they will think that it's fake even if u have signed it and have written your phone number on it." I said.

SH:- "Smart. I told them the same thing."

YS:- "You can call the number above and then the staff will let u in. But for that we need to know ur name."

Y/n:- "Ohh yeah. I'm y/n. Y/n y/s/n." Plus how can I belive that you guys are not joking or playing around with me?"

MG:- "This number is one of the members. If u don't trust us, then dial the number and check for yourself."

I dialed the number. It rang and I saw Yunho holding up his phone to show the caller ID.

YH:- "Is this yours?" I nodded.

WY:- "Call us when u are near our company building. We'll tell the staff to let u in."

Y/n:- "Fine. So, if you guys don't mind can I take my leave? I have a morning class tomorrow."

HJ:- "But don't forget to come sweetie. We'll be waiting for you." I blushed at his words and heard everybody mumble "cute."

End of y/n POV.

The next day

Authour's POV:-

You were finally done with your classes and it was almost lunch time. You then suddenly remembered that you had to go to KQ to meet the boys. You had saved Yunho's number.

You dialed his number but he didn't pick up. U just sighed and started to exit the class while ur phone started vibrating, Yunho's caller ID on display. You picked it up and heard his breathless voice.

Y/n:- "Are you guys practicing?"

YH:- "Hmm.... Why did you ask? You wanna come over?"

Y/n:- "I was thinking of doing so, but seems like you all are busy, so maybe some other time."

YH:- "No. It's alright. You come over. It won't be any issue we are going to be done soon anyways."

Y/n:- "Fine then. I'm coming over."

YH:- "see you at the practice room. You can ask the staff where the ATEEZ practice room is. They'll guide u, or u want me to pick u up from the entrance?"

Y/n:- "no it's alright. I'll come on my own. No need to pick me up. I'll be there soon."

YH:- "okayyss. Bye."

At the ATEEZ practice room

Author's POV:-

YH:- "Guys!!!! Y/n is coming over."

HJ:- "Don't be kidding. He said he had morning classes today."

WY:- "Hyung it's already noon."

HJ:- "okay."

San:- "But...where's Jongho?"

MG:- "There he is. Where did u go kiddo?"

JH:- "Dorms. I don't wanna smell like shit when he comes over."

YH:- "U alright? I've never seen u doing this. U literally never give a shit about how u smell around others."

Jongho blushed and said "I don't know." Making members laugh.

End of author's POV.

Y/n POV:-

I arrived at the company building and the staff stopped me and asked for my ID. I dialed Yunho's number and then the staff let me in. I asked the other staffs for the way to the ATEEZ practice room and bumped into one of their fellaz yechan. He dropped me off to the practice room.

I knocked on the door and heard a lot of tired "come in". Once I entered the room I could smell sweat but there was this one scent that was coming from somewhere.

I unconsciously went towards that smell and found myself standing right in front of Jongho.

End of y/n POV.

Jongho POV:-

I saw y/n coming in and my heart started racing faster than those racing cars. I noticed him coming directly towards me and then he just stood there and then I heard him say, "u smell nice."

Once he said that, he covered his face in embarrassment and blushed making me soft for him. I just started taking steps towards him and he started backing but then bumped against the wall.

I trapped him between my arms and leaned down to his ear and said "just for you."

End of Jongho POV.

Author's POV:-

Jongho's and y/n's happy moment was disturbed by the coughs of the members.

MG:- "Ewww.... We are still here."

SH:- "U remember hon? I did the same to you before we started dating."

HJ blushed hard at his words and punched his arm timidly.

HJ:- "Nice way of flirting Jongho."

Then this turned into a teasing match and everyone's love life was revealed one by one.

I thought of doing this in 2 parts. Part 2 will be out soon. Stay tuned for that.

For now get urself a cup of coffee and enjoy this with some good songs.

Gifs are not mine. Credits to their original owners.

Hope u liked the 1st part.

Peace ✌️✌️

Admin K

#ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #jongho fluff #choi jongho #jongho scenarios #jongho imagines #part 1 dio

26 notes · View notes

berrykook · 4 years ago

Text

over love (y!jk)

part 2 to overtime

in which you are becoming sick from having some trouble adjusting to life with jungkook and you are both frustrated

contents: yandere!jungkook, kidnapping, vomit, stockholm syndrome, jinkook r kinda mean sorry :(

word count: 5.6k

a/n: hey thanks to everyone who followed and/or liked, reblogged, or somehow commented on overtime! i appreciate the kind words

i’m terrible with writing requests, but feel free to leave some yandere requests in my inbox and i might just write some drabbles

to keep things consistent on here i wrote this stoned and i ended up referring to jin in like 3000 different ways ok dr. kim is kim seokjin and sheriff kim is kim taehyung and who knows perhaps i will expand on this little universe who knows i sure don’t

the writing goes a bit back and forth bc i wanted to show reader’s struggle with how she feels towards jk

not much is going on here plot-wise bc it’s not a chaptered fic but either way lmk wat ppl think! ;p

*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ

You weren’t sure how he managed to do it but on some day during the second month, Jungkook had begun testing your patience before you had even completely woken up. You hadn’t even opened your eyes when a blistering tug of frustration began twisting in your chest. Immediately, your eyes shut tighter and you burrowed yourself into the fluffy, sweet-smelling sheets. Although lately, just the slightest hint of Jungkook’s scent made you nauseous.

Seeing you cuddling into his pillow set off an explosion in Jungkook’s chest as he cooed and hugged you closer from on top of the covers.

“Baby, no! It’s time to get up!” He giggled as he ran his hands all along your back, ass, thighs, calves and finally, your feet. “Come on, darling, it’s morning.” A wet kiss on your ankle had you clawing your way out from under the blankets. Jungkook’s alarm clock displayed a later time than it usually did, yet you still managed less than thirty minutes of sleep. It was better than some nights.

Jungkook jumped at the opportunity to sloppily kiss your face. “Good morning, sweetheart!” Another kiss to the top of your cheekbone. “Did my baby get some sleep?” He ran his fingers through your hair, trying his best to mind the tangles.

You looked over to him and sadly gave a slight shake of your head. He cooed sympathetically, kissing all along your hairline. One of his hands dropped down to rest dangerously close to your ass.

“Oh, sweetie. At least after today, I’ll have some more time to help you fix your sleeping schedule! Maybe the new house will help you adjust better.” His kisses stay above your jawline, but slow significantly. He hums, and you have yet to speak a word.

He grabs your hand and intertwines it with his. “Let’s get you some food. Maybe it’ll help you feel sleepy?” He guides you up and leads you to the adjacent bathroom. “I’ll be in the kitchen, princess. You better be eating in less than ten minutes!” You felt your eyes shutting at the sound of his receding voice. Peace was nearest when Jungkook was far.

You must have fallen asleep for a moment because it seemed that seconds later, Jungkook was rapping his knuckles on the bathroom door.

“Honey? Are you okay?” His voice is soft, almost hesitant. It always makes you wonder how he manages to hide away his deep disturbance and perversion. “Sweetheart…”

You have been sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor since you left the bed. Your toothbrush has remained stagnant on your tongue. You make a pitiful sounding moan and Jungkook gasps as he opens the door.

“Are you sick? Oh no, baby...aw, come here…” he takes a knee and holds you close to his chest. Your head is spinning from the lack of sleep still, so you cuddle into him just slightly. You can feel the stiffness of the shirt you ironed against his torso and jealousy burns in your stomach. The ladies at the office must be running around like chickens with their heads cut off as the police’s search for you still has “zero leads” over two months in. You yearned to just sit at your desk once more and complete some busy work. Anything would be better than rotting in Jungkook’s apartment. “What’s wrong?”

You moan softly and Jungkook’s hands around you jerk a bit. “Head hurts. Didn’t sleep.” You are unsure how Jungkook could possibly understand your mumbling from his chest. “So tired...” you whisper, leaning more of your weight on him. He sighs.

This had become a common morning routine in the Jeon residence. Jungkook was constantly worried sick about you, checking the security cameras from work like a madman as you had yet to sleep at any reasonable hour in the time you had been moved into his place. Jungkook tried cuddling you to sleep, changing his mattress, working from home, cooking new food, and everything under the sun in an attempt to help you sleep and adjust to life with him. So far, nothing had been successful - sleeping pills had just barely helped, but you didn’t like the way they made you feel in the morning and Jungkook wanted to scream at the thought of you not waking up in time to kiss him goodbye for the day.

“Sweetheart, I should really go to work today...you know I have to…” Jungkooks moves you onto his lap, bouncing you for a moment as if you were a babe on his hip. “I’m so sorry...I’m trying to make it all better.” You rise from his chest dizzily, smiling weakly at him. His heart began to race and you giggled, mocking him internally for this delusion that his presence would help your sleeping problem. He giggled back and pinched your nose. “Let’s go to the kitchen, yeah?” He plucked the toothbrush from your mouth and held onto the small of your back as you finished washing up. Wrapping your legs around his waist, he carried you over to the kitchen. You had to push aside the nausea to smile and force down the breakfast Jungkook spent an extra hour in the morning making for you.

The house was silent save for Jungkook’s soft humming and shuffling about. He cooked, cleaned, worked, and had no complaints. Jungkook was fulfilled just by the thought of coming home to you greeting him at the door each night (of course, it was his threat of keeping you chained up like a bitch if you didn’t greet him that motivated you to wait on him so). Typically, you spent all day sitting around, letting the hours melt away until Jungkook came back from work and that hanging feeling in your chest began to throb until he left you alone again. However, your steadfast decline in energy had him frequently coming back home during his lunch hours and bothering you with his presence more often. You were sure that he came back some days just to watch you sleep in the middle of the day. He would be gone when you awakened, but you just knew he had been there, watching.

“I think we should celebrate tonight, don’t you think?” He was back at his favorite position (behind you) slowly rubbing his hands over your tummy. He kissed your cheek wetly and you coughed to hide the shiver running down your spine.

“Celebrate what?” You turned your head slightly to look at him - how he adored recieving just a modicum of your attention!

He wiped the corner of your lips and sucked on his finger (you were sure he had no reason to do so as you were not a messy eater). “Celebrate our last day in this home, silly,” he murmured sweetly, stealing a piece of your french toast for himself. He moaned comically, praising his own mediocre cooking. You spent a significant amount of your remaining energy into smiling warmly at him and turning around to hug him properly. Jungkook gasped lightly as he was under the impression that you were still “too nervous” to be affectionate with him. You let out a slow breath, holding back the contents of your stomach with a whimper. Jungkook kissed the crown of your head, blissfully unaware of how he made you sick.

“Don’t we usually celebrate when we finish moving into the new house?” You cross your fingers behind his back in hopes to extend whatever “celebration” Jungkook had been plotting.

Jungkook never pressured you sexually, but there was a lingering fear within you that he would snap and demand something from you. You knew from the moans he let out whenever you touched that he expected something, at least someday. You, however, had no intentions of that nature whatsoever...even as you begged your mind not to fall victim to his love, you couldn’t fathom the thought of laying together with him. Jungkook laughs.

“Well, we can celebrate both! Why don’t you get some sleep and when I come home, we’ll throw together a nice dinner and I’ll bring home something to drink, huh? Come on, baby, it’s our last night here...this place is special,” he says wistfully, taking in the white walls and clean carpet. “This is our first home together.” He smiles down at you, brushing your hair behind your ears. He ignores the sweat that pools at your temples.

“Ah,” you say in understanding before pushing him off of you and running to the bathroom. There it was - the first anxiety-induced vomiting session of the day. You heard Jungkook stomping after you from your seat on the bathroom tiles. Of all the places in the apartment where Jungkook harassed you, this place felt the most like home - the most familiar.

“Oh no, baby! Ah, it’s okay, it’s okay...you’ll feel better soon.” He worked on tying your hair back and holding you from behind, one hand rubbing your stomach and the other hand between your shoulder blades. You tried your best to ignore him, hoping that this was one step closer to your body giving up and dying so you would finally be away from him.

You didn’t have much to expel so it was too soon that Jungkook was helping you wash your mouth out and get back into bed.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie...I’ll tell Hoseok that my last day can wait. You’re more important,” he giggled, touching his nose to yours. “I’ll text Seokjin-hyung to come over and see what’s going on.” Jungkook laid in bed with you, hovering over you as you placed yourself in the fetal position. Your heart picked up a beat.

“No, Jungkook,” you mumbled angrily. You cursed yourself for letting your irritation be known. Jungkook’s hand stopped brushing through your hair. Did he really have to be touching you all the time?

“What do you mean ‘no?’” His tone dropped a few degrees and you held back a groan as you gripped his hand from your head and held it to your chest in an attempt to placate him. He huffed angrily like a child.

“No, as in you should say goodbye to your coworkers. They love you.” You looked up at him with sad eyes and he laughed gleefully, cooing and fawning over you as he always did.

“Oh, baby! You’re so considerate, aw…there’s no way I’m leaving you when you’re sick like this! Hobi can just tell the ladies at the office that my last day is actually tomorrow and I was spending today sorting out my apartment, or whatever he figures out. Easy! I don’t mind staying here one or two more nights if it means comfortable travels for my healthy sweetheart.”

You buried your face into your pillow, groaning as you realized that the person who made you sick would be hovering over you for several more days as the move out of his apartment would begin soon and he would be out of work. You were empty, but nausea still plagued your body as your fear of Jungkook made its rounds.

Jungkook sighed deeply, lightly massaging the back of your neck. “I know, baby, you must feel so sick…I’m sorry...let me get Jin-hyung in here right away!” He bounded off to get his phone from his work bag at the front door. His booming footsteps echoed in your head.

The drive to fight and escape, admittedly, never burned through you. It had been two months since that night in the parking garage and Jungkook was even moving the two of you into a new house (a hillside house in Busan at that), yet you barely made any attempts at escaping at all. Jungkook loved you deeply and made that clear in every sentence, every gesture, every movement - but there was a part of him who despised you, too. The part of him that came out whenever you expressed annoyance or disdain towards him - even just disagreeing with him could reveal this nasty side to him in which he would yell, cry, or threaten you until you were crying and being comforted in his arms. An inkling of an idea for remaining in Seoul burned in the back of your mind, but it made you writhe with anxiety at the thought of his reaction. His loud footsteps grew in volume again as he tried his best to softly land in bed to avoid further agitating your stomach.

He chose to lie beside you, gently picking you up so you could rest on top of him. The sound of his heartbeat was deafening against your dizzy head.

“Jin-hyung is on his way and Hobi is handling everything at the office,” he mumbled, stroking your back like he always does. He let out soft little hums and pressed gentle kisses to the corner of your mouth. You took a deep calming breath when your heart rate began picking up on its own. Try as you might, Jungkook did at times have an effect on you. You supposed it was some sort of savior complex, partially from that night in the parking garage and partially from how gently he treated you since coming into his home. Before Jungkook, you never viewed yourself as delicate (and for good reason!). However, Jungkook’s tender touches and heartfelt words held some power over you.

“You feeling okay, baby?”

You were on the verge of tears for no apparent reason. Despite Jungkook having made you sick from the moment you woke up, you felt oddly safe in his arms. You felt loved, and the feeling made you even sicker. You buried your face into his chest and hoped he wouldn’t notice your flushed face and teary eyes.

“Aw…” His voice was so soft that you could barely hear it even from his chest. “It’ll be okay, Jin-hyung will help...what else can I do for you, baby? Tell me.” He cradled the back of your head with a large hand. Jungkook’s size was so apparent when you were this close. “Hm?”

His hum in your ear snapped something within you and you let out a sad whimper. Jungkook gasped softly, cooing and patting your back. “Are you gonna be sick again, baby? Aw, it’s okay…” One of his hands made its way to the back of your neck and the floodgates crashed open. You were disgusting. You couldn’t even remember the last time you cried before you met Jungkook and here you were now, crying because...he made you feel good? You suspected that your body was steadily giving up on you and your mind wasn’t very far behind. You’re unsure when you did it, but you had an iron grip on Jungkook’s hand. His thumb rubbed over your hand as he patiently waited for you to gather yourself and speak to him. The small smile on his face made your heart twist and writhe. You supposed Jungkook was just the slightest bit handsome.

You looked like a sick puppy looking up at him from his chest. Jungkook was eager to kiss your pouting lips once you had gathered yourself. He hadn’t filled you in yet, but the sound of your weeping lit a fire under him and aroused him deeply. He chuckled a bit, reaching to wipe a tear from your chin.

“Dunno,” you murmur pitifully after several minutes. You fall so your cheek is flat against his chest and you can no longer look into his eyes. He laughs while softly uttering to himself about how cute you were. It makes you embarrassed and ill at the same time. “I’m sorry. I’m all over the place.”

“I know, I know. The new house is going to be so wonderful for you. #e’re going to be so happy there...did I mention my parents will be nearby? Just a short drive away, baby. They’ll be so excited to be close to their grandchildren...just think about it...we’re so close to that life.” The heartbeat that sent chills up your spine ten minutes ago began to warm your own heart with just a moment’s notice. His whispering calmed you to approach slumber, despite it scaring you into a near insomniac for the past two months. You wondered how you were going to word to Dr. Kim that you were losing your mind.

“Doesn’t that sound nice? Shh, shh, i know you must be feeling so bad right now, but just focus on me...I love you so much, baby. I can’t believe you’re home and safe here with me...I can’t explain how happy you make me. I wonder sometimes if I could ever make you understand. I never want you to ever second-guess yourself or my love for you...I will always be here, baby. I love you so much.”

Jungkook caught any tears from your eyes with lightning speed. You cuddled into him lower towards his ribs and he laughed. “Am I making my baby bashful? Aww, sweetie...I’m just trying to make you feel better...it must be working, right?”

You let out a small noise of disdain. Jungkook fawned over you and continued making you blush until he left with a dozen kisses to get Seokjin at the door.

Jungkook called Dr. Kim in to check up on you at least once a week since you entered the apartment (and still had yet to exit). You liked Dr. Kim to some twisted degree. Of Jungkook’s brothers, he was the one you disliked the least - Hoseok, your old boss, was a dick to you since the day you met him and was also the ultimate reason why Jungkook knew who you were in the first place (Jungkook mentioned one night that he first saw you at a holiday work party and his favorite photograph of you was from that night and framed by the front door). His other brothers, Sheriff Kim and Detective Min, were key players in tossing your missing persons case in the trash. They had comforted you so kindly that night you were attacked by Jungkook’s favorite brother, Namjoon. Jungkook vaguely mentioned something about one or two more, but you tuned out the conversation about his brothers, horrified, when it was revealed to you that even law enforcement could not free you from Jungkook.

You heard Jungkook and Dr. Kim speaking in hushed voices from the hallway outside Jungkook’s bedroom. Your heart ached and stomach twisted at Jungkook’s worried tone.

“Here she is, hyung,” Jungkook whispered when they finally entered your bedroom. You swaddled yourself with the heavy sheets and raised a hand to wave shyly at Dr. Kim. If only he was not a pawn in Jungkook’s game - if only you had met him some other way. He was devastatingly handsome.

Jungkook sits on the bed, close to you and possessively. Dr. Kim smiled warmly.

“How have you been lately? I hear you’ve had some more trouble sleeping?”

You nod gingerly, smiling awkwardly as Jungkook stayed rooted to the bed. He looked at you with concern, blissfully unaware that he should not be in the room.

“I slept for 30 minutes, Dr. Kim.” You are bashful and Jungkook notices immediately.

“She threw up again this morning...I’m so worried, hyung.” Jungkook was practically laying on top of you at this point. His body desperately attempted to show Seokjin that you belonged to him and nobody could love you like he does.

“Ah, I see, I see.” You could tell that Dr. Kim also wanted Jungkook to step out. “Well...my question. How do you feel?” Dr. Kim addresses you by your first name and the sound hangs in the air, foreign to you at this point. Jungkook called you your given name at times, but mostly when you were being defiant and he was threatening you somehow.

Jungkook became more alert because of this and opened his mouth to respond before getting cut off by Seokjin raising his hand to stop him. You twiddle your thumbs.

“I don’t know,” you mumble nervously.

Before Jungkook, you prided yourself on your independence and your swift thinking and problem-solving skills. You had no desire for dating at this quintessential time period of your life and you focused most of your energy on bettering yourself and maintaining a well-rounded life.

Now, it seemed like just Jungkook’s presence regressed your mind years back. You felt deep, deep fear and hatred towards him and his psychotic nature, but you also felt yourself wrapping around his finger. He took care of you well and didn’t ask for much. He managed the apartment, money, food, everything all by himself and all he ever wanted from you was your love. He was terrifying when he was angry and you still hadn’t figured out a way to escape safely and make it more than ten paces from his apartment. You were sure that Sheriff Kim and Detective Min were watching you almost as closely as Jungkook did. You were hopeless and you knew this from the first night you set foot in Jungkook’s home. You weren’t sure how you felt at all. Life no longer felt real.

“That’s okay. Take your time,” Dr. Kim said softly after a moment. You felt yourself tearing up at his kindness and from the pressure to speak. Jungkook reached for your hands, pulling them apart to stop you from picking at your hangnails. You let out a sad sound and Dr. Kim folded his hands, waiting patiently for you to come forward and speak your truth.

“I don’t know...I don’t know. Really,” you whimpered, trying to steady your voice. You sighed in frustration, embarrassed at having cried so much this early in the morning.

Dr. Kim made a noise of understanding and asked Jungkook to step out into the hall with him. You stared at them as they walked out, jealous that you did not have the right to know about your own health. You forced yourself to sit up past the dizziness and listen to their conversation.

“She’s coming along nicely. Keep doing what you’re doing and she should come around completely soon.”

You fell back onto your pillows once you heard Dr. Kim say this to Jungkook.

“Yuri was the same way with me and Namjoon had a similar experience with Ara. Don’t worry, Kookie, she’ll be fine. Putting her in her place more often should do the trick. You know about Hobi’s favorite method, yes?”

“Are you sure? She’s sick! I can tell she’s still repulsed by me sometimes...I don’t want to push her too far. You saw how messy it was with Taehyung…” Jungkook sounded close to tears. Perhaps he was as sensitive with others as he was with you.

“It won’t be like what happened with Taehyung. She’s a tough nut to crack. You need to take it a step further. Think about it...you should never be disrespected in your own home.”

Your heart twinged at the thought of how kind Dr. Kim had been since you first met and how lowly he spoke of you now. The thin wood of the bedroom door was not nearly enough to deafen the sting of his hissing. You could practically hear the cogs turning in Jungkook’s head.

They continued to converse about things you had no context on and at times, Jungkook’s wild emotions would run free and he would passionately describe how saddened he was that you weren’t adjusting well to his home. You tried to tune out his crying. They seemed to discuss some sort of plan to “put you in your place,” but you barely cared anymore. You just wanted your mind to unravel completely already so you could succumb to Jungkook and accept your fate with him. There was no hope for escape. There never was.

“Think about it, Jungkook. I’m serious. I’ll be back next week, okay?”

You heard their voices retreat and Dr. Kim was then gone without having said goodbye to you. Whatever. His beauty could never outweigh how strongly he believed you were somehow below Jungkook. You heard Jungkook’s heavy footsteps stop in front of the bedroom door for a moment as if he were hesitating. He came in slowly.

“Baby? I spoke with Jin-hyung,” he uttered. You turned on your side, pretending to be asleep. “Oh,” he breathed, seeing your eyes closed.

Seokjin had just finished handing his ass to him about being more stern with you and breaking you down faster so he could win you over already. Of himself, Namjoon, and Hoseok, none of them had taken as long as Jungkook to win over the hearts of their partners. He sighed, exiting the room to help you sleep. You both had a lot of work to do.

You woke up several hours later to Jungkook quietly raging in the living room at his TV. Despite being deeply invested in his game, he felt your presence immediately and set his game aside, standing in place and staring you down.

“Honey,” he exhaled anxiously. “Did you sleep well?”

You nodded slightly before awkwardly shuffling off to find food. Jungkook bounded after you quickly. His eyes darted around nervously as he tried to figure out what to say.

“S-so, the move has been delayed just a day...tomorrow, I’ll go into work for my last day and we can start the move the next day.” From the way you apathetically fluttered about the kitchen deciding what to eat, Jungkook felt like he was talking to himself. “Are you feeling better, sweetheart?” He stood much too close to you, so you let out a soft noise of acknowledgement as you pressed a hand against his chest to softly guide him a step back.

His conversation with Seokjin earlier filled him with anxiety and your behavior didn’t help him in the slightest. If anything, he felt his anger begin to rise inside of him. He took a deep breath, attempting to delay his boiling point.

“I said, are you feeling better, sweetheart?” For a moment, you stopped rummaging through Jungkook’s fridge as his icy tone ran down your spine. He huffed when you continued going about making yourself a sandwich as if he wasn’t even there.

“Yeah, I feel better,” you mumbled, straining yourself to open a jar of peanut butter. Jungkook looked on angrily, choosing to let you struggle.

“Well, that’s good.” You uneasily continued making your sandwich while Jungkook followed your every move. A part of you knew that you should pay better attention to him so he’s satisfied, but the resistant part of you which so passionately despised Jungkook was not allowing you to give him more than a crumb of your focus.

Jungkook gulped down his irritation to the best of his abilities, but it continued to rear its head at you. Seokjin’s words echoed in his head - you should never be disrespected in your own home.

“Well...I’m home now. What would you like to do today?” Jungkook brought a hand up to his jaw to help soften it.

You figured he didn’t notice that he had a habit of standing as close as humanly possible to you. Sighing lightly, you pressed a hand against his ribs to push him back once again, but an iron grip intertwining your fingers stopped you.

“Don’t do that,” he said in a low tone. You gave him a confused stare, hoping that he would find it cute and have mercy on you.

“Huh? What do you mean?” You tried to sound as soft and sad as possible, praying that you didn’t set him off. He stared down at you with a steely gaze, completely unaffected. Your breath quickened a pace as you wracked your brain for a solution before he was too far gone.

“You don’t love me yet...do you?” It was not a question. Fuck, you thought.

“You know...none of my brothers had such trouble getting their wives to listen to them after they moved in together.” You begged yourself not to giggle - how absurd it was that Jungkook called this anything but a kidnapping. “Jin-hyung said that it has been too long that you’ve been acting this way.” His glare almost made you forget how sweet and gentle Jungkook could be. You wondered if this side of him would ever come out if you let yourself love him too.

“Acting like what?”

“Like you know what!” He snapped. You flinched and he gasped at the sight of you scared.

Jungkook wouldn’t dare put his own hands on you. Oddly enough, he drew the line at hittting you. For some inexplicable reason, you knew deep down that he wouldn’t do it either. Something about you knew that Jungkook did possess at least a percentage of genuine love for you.

“You disrespect me. You think I’m some sort of ugly monster...you still haven’t figured out yet that I actually saved you. You’re too fucking dense to figure out that nobody has ever loved anyone the way that I love you. Too fucking dense to know that this is real...that this type of love doesn’t happen to everyone. You should be fucking grateful. You sh-”

“But I do love you,” you said mousily. You crossed your fingers with the hand that Jungkook was not holding. Jungkook looked as if he had the wind knocked out of him.

It was not true. In this moment, you knew that your hatred for Jungkook far outweighed the gratitude you had to him for that night in the parking garage. You wanted to make him sweat.

Slowly, he raised your intertwined hands to his chest.

“Baby...you don’t mean that…”

You took a deep breath, both to calm yourself and to up your performance.

“I do, Jungkook. I do mean it.”

Jungkook felt a few steps off from bursting into flames with how hard he was blushing - and, you should have known better than to use those two words to Jungkook so early on. He gasped softly, running your intertwined hands back and forth across his heart.

“Sweetheart…” His face contorted as he struggled with his next move. He was torn between punishing you and teaching you to respect him at all times, and punishing himself for cherry-picking a reason to assert dominance over his sweet girl. He whimpered, lower lip trembling embarrassingly. “Uh, you’re so perfect.”

You took your hand from his and cupped his face instead. Jungkook was nearly hyperventilating at this point, so you figured you should cut the act soon.

“Uh, tell me again! Please, please say it again,” he begged, blubbering. You wanted to roll your eyes (you were unsure if it would be of disgust or of endearment) at his ability to bawl at the drop of a hat. “I’m so sorry, p-princess...I didn’t mean to yell at you. Uh, you’re s-...so perfect, please say it again...”

You giggled. “I love you.”

Jungkook sobbed, hiding his face from you for a moment. One of his hands gripped your shoulder as if he were afraid you would drift away.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry...I can’t believe I doubted you.” You awkwardly patted Jungkook’s shoulder, giggling some more to lift the mood of the room. He began babbling something about his “goddess” and how he “wasn’t worthy,” but you didn’t bother trying to understand.

“No, I should be apologizing...I should show you more often how much I love you, don’t you think?” You stood a little taller and got closer to his face, but quickly retreated when Jungkook nearly lost control of his breathing again. “I’m sorry, Jungkook. I just get so nervous around you sometimes...I’m going to try harder from now on to show you what I feel for you. Okay?” You grabbed his face again, pulling him to make eye contact with you so he could calm down.

His weeping turned into gleeful laughs with a snap. You let out a breath of relief, having successfully defused the bomb that is Jungkook and saving yourself from whatever it was Seokjin planned on having him do. That sour feeling, that lingering fear of Jungkook also came back stronger with a snap. You prayed he wouldn’t try to kiss you on the lips, knowing your acting skills weren’t yet ready to hide such a level of disgust.

“I don’t know what I was worried about. I should have known that you were just having trouble expressing yourself! Baby...you don’t have to hide how you feel about me. I’ve always known that we were soulmates.”

Jungkook has a dreamy look in his eyes that churns your stomach. You smile awkwardly as he leaned in closer and closer, vibrating with the excitement of receiving his first kiss from you. He even playfully tapped his chin with his finger when you had taken a moment too long.

“J-Jungkook!” You pushed his chest lightly, giggling behind your hands. “Don’t do that...I’m shy, honey…” You looked down at your feet and playfully pushed him again, running off to the bedroom to cringe in private.

For the first time since setting foot in Jungkook’s apartment, a spark of hope ignited within you. Jungkook was completely weak at your slightest gesture. You took his breath away and made him stutter and sweat without even lifting a finger. Jungkook was aware of how deeply he could get under your skin, but he had no idea you knew how deeply you were already under his.

Jungkook called out your given name. “I love you!” He yelled from across the apartment.

You smiled before turning into the bedroom, leaving the door open for him to follow behind.

#yandere jungkook #yandere!jungkook #yandere jeongguk #yandere!jeongguk #yandere bts #yandere!bts

218 notes · View notes

godsporncollection · 4 years ago

Text

Saturday Morning Session

(personal commentary in italics) (sorry for how inconsistent i am at this, i’m trying new medication, so my focus comes and goes unpredictably, but i didn’t want this to take weeks)

Russel M Nelson - strengthen your testimony (?)

"I understand better what he meant when he said 'behold, i will hasten my work in this time.'"

Y'all have been strengthening your testimonies and i, and your children, thank you. did that inclusion of "your children" feel off to anyone else?

I can see the work on the temple outside my window and that makes me think about how we need to remove the old debris from our lives. I too think of the temple as 'old debris' that should be removed from my life.

"the gospel is a message of joy" I cannot roll my eyes hard enough

that was short. what was the topic? blab for a five minutes?

Dieter F. Uchdorf - god is Among Us

I had to move lots when I was a kid because there was a war on. i thought about the missionaries who came to the country of their enemies to bring us the gospel.

i was a kid in a war-torn country > missionaries > god has not forgotten us > we will be heirs of god > how could we complain when we have that? > the atonement > mistakes are okay, just gotta keep repenting.

what would jesus teach if he was among us today? the same thing he's always taught. "the savior always teaches timeless truths, to everyone, a message of hope and belonging, a testament that god has not abandoned his children that god is Among Us."

jesus says to love one another and to be full of charity towards all men. i would like to see it.

anyone else feel like these talks are just. empty? like, they're not feeling it either?

if jesus came into your home today, he would see into your heart and i'm gonna waste a couple more minutes by expanding on that. one look into his eyes and we would be forever changed by the realization that god is Among Us.

back to me, i wish i could go back and tell myself to stay on the right track because god is Among Us, so i'm gonna tell you instead. god is Among Us.

"line upon line" *gag*

god is Among Us

Joy D Jones - abuse is wrong unless you use it to teach kids about the gospel

"have you ever wondered why we call 'primary' 'primary'?" as someone who understands how language works, no.

because kids are importanter than everything else

god trusts us to be nice to our kids; that means no abuse, even if we're angry. whoever needed this reminder should be shot.

hey, maybe you can "combat the evils of abuse" by not fucking raising your kids in an abusive cult!

analogy of a kid who fell out of bed because he "didn't get far enough in" = he wasn't indoctrinated enough, with awkward collage of pics of kids for a minute.

eyring said to get 'em while they're young

love all the pics of black people that try to say "see? we don't think black people are inherently evil (anymore)!"

analogy of a soldier in boot camp. drill seargants are mean, but that was necessary because apparantly it's the only way this guy can learn how to hide. also, apparently this guy is "our friend". not my friend, thanks.

"how can we do the same for our children?" don't fucking act like a drill seargent to your kids! ffs

"wouldn't we rather have them sweat in the safe learning environment of the home than bleed on the battlefields of life?" first of all, fuck you. second, dramatic much? third, fuck you, kids shouldn't have to learn about life in a hostile environment. does this woman have kids? are they okay? fucking hell, five kids were raised by a woman with this mentality. what a bitch.

"eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about." i got news for you. of course, if i ever spoke to this machine, that topic wouldn't be my top priority.

I need a fucking drink.

Jan Eric Newman - teaching the gospel is good, but you can't force a testimony on others

anecdote about a local old woman getting birthday gifts. she taught us some good things when we were growing up, so thanks, sister davis.

another teacher, at college, was a "master teacher." he loved me and the lord. he taught me to learn doctrine on my own and that "changed me forever."

just sayin', if you're taught how to learn on your own, but didn't exercise enough critical thought to gtfo of this cult, maybe the teacher wasn't the best.

it's good to have good teachers.

the ancient nephites and lamanites had good teachers, and "there was no contention among them!"

"how can we teach more like the savior and help others become more deeply converted?" nope, nope. nope.

1st, "learn all you can about the master teacher hismelf." so, we're sticking with the term "master teacher." cool. doesn't sound weird at all.

ask yourself questions about how he taught, then do that.

read "teaching in the savoir's way."

2nd, use bullshit stories. oh, no, it's a story about how somebody is grateful for the pandemic because her adult child read the BoM for the first time during it. she said it had made "literal miracles."

3rd, "remember that conversion must come from within." guess jan and "joy" should have compared notes before speaking.

"children inheret many things, but a testimony is not one of them. we can't give our children a testimony any more than we can make a seed grow; but we can provide a nourishing environment, with good soil, free of thorns that would choke the word."

Gary E. Stevenson - kindness

story about a study where rabbits were fed a high-fat diet, but those under the care of a loving researcher didn't gain as much weight.

only christians can intuitively understand that this means there's a reason to be kind to others.

jesus said love one another.

addressing primary kids - be kind. here's a story about a kid who stopped being a bully because the bullied kid said it hurt.

to the teens - social media makes bullying worse, clearly satan is using social media against your generation. do what you can t make these spaces safer. if you're a bully, "stop it."

to the adults- "we have a primary responsibility to set a tone and be role models of kindness (get wrecked "joy"), inclusion and civility."

from ballard- "i have never heard members of this church to be anything but loving, kind, tolerant and benevolent to our friends and neighbors of other faiths." k, but, like, you know it's not just a difference of religious belief that’s the problem, right?

i'm heartbroken to hear about prejudice against blackasianlatino people or of any other group. i love how that section was really only about race, with a blanket "any other group" thrown in as an afterthought so they can't be accused of being homophobic.

in the winter of 1838, jo smith was in prison and why do you think that happened, gary?

church members were driven from their homes and the residents of a town across the river gave them food and shelter. that generosity saved the lives of many of them.

god is a compassionate care-giver.

Gerrit W. Gong - disjointed anecdotes of human experiences, idk

i miss my dad. he was adventurous, except regarding food.

i saw a guy be mean to a lady selling ice cream. he smashed all of her cones. the image of her trying to salvage the cones haunts me to this day.

story of the good samaritan.

be like christ this easter.

"we recieve inspiration as we counsel together, listening to each person, including each sister and the spirit."

does this guy have a topic?

he’s is just giving a list of random human experiences and parables.

*displays a lack of understanding of instagram.*

he's listing something throughout this, like, he keeps counting, but i have no idea what and his voice is making my adhd medication run away, so i'm not listening to this again.

Henry B. Eyring - temple worthiness

today i'm feeling light and hope, like the first day i went to the salt lake temple

i'm an oblivious fucker who didn't notice my name being pinned on me, so i thought the woman who greeted me was an angel because she knew my name.

thought he could remember being in the temple before, but a voice that was not his own (that's how you know it's true and not something he just told himself) told him he was remembering heaven.

confused "holiness to the lord" with "this is a holy place." i know both phrases use the word 'holy', but like, those contexts mean separate things.

i also had this feeling during my wedding in the logan temple.

i think henry should get checked out, he suffers from frequent hallucinations and it's good to know how your brain works differently from others when in a leadership position.

during my wedding, i had a vision of a house and the officiant said to live in a way that you can walk away easily. a year later, my father in law bought the exact house and my wife and i lived in the guest house for ten years. then i got the call to move somewhere else on assignment from the church and we walked away easily.

scripture from jesus about temples.

if you're unworthy in the temple, you won't be "able to see, by the power of the holy ghost, the spiritual teaching of the savior that we can recieve in the temple."

"when we are worthy to recieve such teaching, there can grow, through our temple experience, hope, joy, and optimism throughout our lives. that hope, joy, and optimism are available only through accepting the ordinances performed in holy temples."

i forgot how simple a baptism is, so i'm gonna tell you how amazed (and a little concerned) i was when my youngest daughter stayed to do baptism for the dead for all of the names on the list that day. maybe i'm just super comfortable in the water, but that doesn't sound hard, actually. i used to almost enjoy doing those.

quotes the primary song 'i love to see the temple.'

remember to be worthy so you can live with your family forever.

#exmo #ex mormon #exchristian #ex christian #excult #cult stuff #exlds #ex lds #former mormon #apostake #ex religious #agnostic #mine #gc april 2021 #gc summary

8 notes · View notes

kitty-cat-is-back · 4 years ago

Text

What Am I Doing with My Life? Chapter 2

Pairing: Sero Hanta x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: Holy moly guys! I know I said this is another post, but I am still in shock about how well recieved the first chapter was! Thank you so so much everyone! Now, I just want to say before anyone asks, I have no idea how long this will be. I’m basically just writing as I go, but I do know how I want it to end! Hopefully you guys will stick around til the end! Also, let me know if I should do a taglist for this! Anywho, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 1

Warnings: signs of depression, angst (I guess), a bit of cursing

‘How did I end up here?’

You sat stiffly at a wobbly table in the corner of the cafe, staring down at your lap intensely. Honestly, this just seemed like a dream. Or a nightmare. You hadn’t quite figured out which one it was yet. You hesitantly glanced up to see Hanta at the counter, chatting up the barista with his usual big smile. He hadn’t changed at all. Well… That wasn’t necessarily true. Actually, he had changed quite a lot. His once lanky body had filled out quite nicely with age, starting at the top with broad shoulders and going down to what you would assume was a muscled abdomen, or at least that was what the tight heather grey t-shirt was telling you. Your gaze traveled back up to his face, noticing his strong jawline and how well it complemented his features. You realize you might’ve been staring a bit too long when you notice him staring back at you, amusement in his eyes, and a cunning grin. Your eyes widen a bit before promptly looking back down at your lap, your face burning with embarrassment.

Hanta grabbed both of your drinks and came back to the table, taking the seat across from yours, “Here you go! A nice, tasty water,” he teased, “Are you sure you don’t want something else? I really don’t mind paying to get you something better,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

You cleared your throat and grabbed the water, “No, this is fine. Thank you though…” you replied softly, taking a quick drink in hopes it would smooth out all of your awkwardness.

Sero hummed in acknowledgment and kept his focus on you, “Well, anyways… How have you been? I don’t think anyone’s heard from you since graduation!”

‘Why is he being so nice to me?’

You adjusted uncomfortably in your seat and gave a small shrug of your shoulders, “Oh, y’know… I’ve been good. Moved here to go to school, got my masters in psych, and now I’m working as a therapist essentially.”

Hanta’s eyes lit up with interest, “Wow, really!? That’s so cool! You’re basically like a doctor! You were always pretty smart back then, so that actually shouldn’t surprise me all that much… Not to mention moving all the way to Chicago straight out of high school. That must’ve been a pretty tough challenge…”

‘He’s talking as if nothing happened…’

You laughed awkwardly, scratching your cheek in discomfort, “Well, I’m not a doctor! I think that’s offensive to actual doctors who did the extra schooling. I can’t prescribe any medication, but I do provide them with therapy and advice… And I guess the move was a little challenging, but after eight years I think I’m used to it. B-But enough about me! My life isn’t all that interesting, what about you?”

Hanta quirked an eyebrow, “Me? Well… I tried community college for a semester, but pretty quickly decided I wasn’t ready to take on four more years of schooling. So I dropped out and started job hunting. Had an office job for a while, but I wasn’t very happy doing that either. It wasn’t until one night when I was out with the squad that we all, drunkenly, of course, decided that we all hated our nine to fives and wanted to work for ourselves! So we made our own company! So now we get to work on our own time, make good money, and actually have fun doing it! Plus, we get to do cool things like going on a trip to Chicago with the excuse of it being ‘marketing research,’” he stated with air quotes.

‘His life sounds great, so why is he talking to me?’

“Wow, that takes a lot of guts, but at least it all turned out for the best. Finding happiness in life and job fulfillment is something a lot of people struggle with…” you noted, briefly pondering your own work-life balance, “But you said you’re on a business trip? For how long?”

“Yea, it’s for about two weeks. We wanted to make the most out of our vacation! But… We actually have to do a little bit of work. Katsuki would kill us if we didn’t!”

“...We?”

“Oh, yea! I came with Kaminari, which was probably a terrible idea in hindsight… Actually, I was just with him walking around the city and that’s when I saw you! I thought it was you that I walked past and I just had to be sure! Thank God it was you, otherwise, I would’ve just been a crazy person yelling in the streets,” he said with a cheery laugh.

“So… You just abandoned Kaminari.”

“...More or less, yes.”

‘How can he be so carefree?’

You couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh. You couldn’t tell if it was from actual amusement or disbelief. You felt like you had been transported back to a time when you were… happy. You felt something you hadn’t felt in years and… you didn’t feel like you deserved to feel this.

Hanta could feel something uncertain left in the silence between you, “Speaking of this, I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable by all this. That wasn’t my intention! I just happened to see you out in the street and my legs started moving to you before I even had a chance to think of what I was going to say if I got to you. I missed you, y’know?”

‘...what…?’

At those last words, your throat clenched and your eyes began to burn with tears. You’ve kept everything locked up so tightly all these years, not letting anything get to you. How was it that a few words were able to crack your walls? The shaky breath that you released along followed by a sniffle became an instant giveaway to your current state.

‘He missed me…?’

Hanta’s eyes practically bulged out of his head when he realized what was going on, “Oh shit, I’m so sorry! I’ve made you uncomfortable, haven’t I!? Fuck, I didn’t mean to make you upset…”

‘He missed me…’

You turned your face away from him and desperately started trying to cover up your blunder, “No, no! I’m fine! Don’t apologize! I um… There must be a cold breeze that’s blowing on me. Yea, the air is just making my eyes water… I’m n-not crying! I-” you paused when you felt a warm hand placed on top of your own. Your head snapped back and met Hanta’s eyes, shocked to find a loving and gentle look in them.

“Y/N… What’s wrong?”

You couldn’t hold back anymore. Tears streamed down your cheeks for the first time in years. When was the last time you cried? You don’t even think you could remember. You choked back a sob and lowered your head.

‘Everything.’

“Nothing,” you started.

Hanta squeezed your hand while gently caressing his thumb over the top of it, “Don’t act like I don’t know you. We might have gotten older, but you’re still exactly as I remember you. Bottling everything up until you burst. If this is about back then, I’m just going to set the record straight and tell you outright that I don’t care. That’s in the past and I wouldn’t have chased after you today if I was mad at you. Please… Just talk to me.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as you tried to get yourself under control, but it was no use. Hanta had made a large crack in your wall and you couldn’t patch it up. You weren’t ready to bring that up just yet, but you knew he wouldn’t just let this slide. You had to come up with something…

You shook your head, “No… It’s just-” you paused and swallowed thickly, “It’s… my apartment.”

Hanta narrowed his eyes, searching for any trace of lies, “...Your apartment?”

You nodded and sniffled, using your free hand to wipe away some of your tears, “Uh-huh… It’s um… There’s no light in my apartment. I have windows, but they face a brick wall of another building. Every morning I wake up in a dark apartment and just stare at the brick wall, hoping one day it’ll just turn into a nice backyard in the suburbs, like back at home. Most mornings, I don’t even want to get out of bed, knowing that even when I leave my apartment, it’s still dark outside. I thought when I moved here every day would be a fun adventure in the big city. But… Even when the sun is shining, it still feels… dark,” you finish, realizing even despite yourself, you still opened up. Just maybe not in the way he wanted.

Hanta stayed silent for a moment, processing everything you had said. It seemed real to him, but he knew there was so much more wrong than just where you lived, “Do you even want to live here anymore?”

“It was always my dream to live in a big city…”

“Well, what’s your dream now?”

You didn’t answer.

Hanta nodded, knowing that’s all he was going to be able to get out of you for now, “So… Your apartment, huh? Well, let’s go check it out! I’ve always wanted to see what a lavish big city apartment looks like anyways!”

Your head snapped back towards him, “Wait, what? No, Hanta, I don’t think that-”

“Besides, I consider myself to be a gentleman. If something is distressing you, I have to try and fix it, right? I think that’s written in the gentlemen’s code, right?” he retorted quickly, not giving you the chance to tell him no. He had a newfound mission and he only had two weeks to do it. He stood with conviction and pulled you up by the hand he was still holding, “Well, lead the way!”

‘Not again…’

#hanta sero x reader #sero x reader #sero hanta x reader #hanta x reader #mha sero #mha #bnha #sero #bnha fanfiction #sero hanta #bnha imagines

45 notes · View notes

nctzendreamz · 5 years ago

Text

HOMECOMING — PART I

Prologue / Part l / Part ll / Part lll

Summary: The year is 3030, and the divide between the rich and poor couldn’t be greater. Wildwood University is the most prestigious school in the entire world, but it isn’t only because of the impeccable flying cars that can be seen best during the fuchsia lit nights, or the dexterous education everyone receives. It has secrets. A lot of secrets.

Genre: Gang!AU, Futuristic!AU, Dystopian!AU

Warnings: Vivid descriptions of violence, foul language, drug use, and murder.

Taeyong had never been on a train before. In NEO, there was no reason to use them. No one could afford to go anywhere, but even on the rare occasion that you had no children, and owned a buisness successful enough to have the cash, you couldn’t past the test; the certification test.

The purpose of the certification test was to ensure that people who resided in NEO, or practically anywhere that had the familiar smell of poor water systems and hunger breath, couldn’t cross the border that lead to the “brightest place on earth”; Valhalla. They asked impossible questions, but most importantly, you couldn’t have a criminal record. Something impossible in poverty and they knew that.

Valhalla didn’t feel like a real place. I mean, Taeyong knows it’s real because they always drop the brochures from their solar powered helicopters four times a year; one for every season. Everyone always runs and practically slips on eachother’s drool to get the newest addition of the futuristic landmarks they decide to bless the masses with. Photo’s only, of course.

Taeyong finds it to be quite taunting. To actually give these people any hope that they could make it over. It was hilarious.

If you work hard, you too, can see the light. Absolutely pathetic.

Currency wasn’t a familiar term back home either. You purchased what you needed with other things; your body, drugs, or being a child.

Everyone had sympathy for the children that came into the convinence stores with dark hands, and heavy bags under their eyes indicating they had the weight of the world on their shoulders, but also the slouch that proved they knew even now that there was no out. This was life. Now, they just had to figure out how to live it.

He’s alone right now. The sound of the tracks and rails continuously slapping against eachother was unfamiliar, but he didn’t mind it. He enjoyed hearing new sounds, smelling new things; good or bad. Even the scenery that laid before him wasn’t too harsh.

He can see the homeless on the streets, currently trying to prepare for the storm that was predicted to come tonight. With the small amount of privilege he has, there is a radio in their residence. Maybe this was because if not for that, everyday would seem like a hurricane was out to murder them all for good. Black and white vision didn’t leave room for much imagination.

“I haven’t taken this drive in a while, kid.” The man conducting this ride hadn’t spoken a word to him this entire time, but he didn’t mind the conversation. Even with his lack of communication skills, he was willing to put in an effort.

“That’s nice.”

“You know, I think we should throw a fucking party. I mean, you have to be extemely intelligent to be going across the border. A fucking genius.”

A drunken confession. Not surprising to Taeyong as everyone in NEO was on something. Or everything.

“But you know what, I know about you.” He starts, but Taeyong doesn’t move a muscle. He had been injected with enough Indigo to last him the next 48 hours; enough time to get on the campus without a squeak. Sooman promised he would give him further instructions later on. “I know you have some connections. But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I don’t know what you do, but I respect it.”

“Do you?”

“I do.”

Being so high, Taeyong can’t speak any longer. His hand rummages through his black bag that usually held his heavier weapons, and he feels for the blanket that never left his sights. It’s old place was on his bunk he shared with Jaehyun. He had the top. Now that he thinks about it, Jaehyun was quite jealous that he was the chosen one for this particular mission. He joked, saying that he must have sucked enough dick for a lifetime, considering he was obviously better looking, and more charming, but didn’t get chosen.

Taeyong simply shrugged, one of his signature moves. “I’m a better shooter, a more cold blooded killer, and my dicks bigger.”

But back to the blanket. Secretly, he was able to preserve the scent. His parents scent. This blanket, although seeming like a rather childish need, was his safe place. It was the last thing they gave him before he came downstairs one morning, expecting a large breakfast becuase they promised him. And they never broke promises. But instead he found them dismembered, blood splattered all across their wooden floors.

Even while thinking about his nightmare, there was no anxiety. He falls into slumber more peacefully than he ever had before, as he doesn’t have his guard up. No one is out to get him right now. He’s on his way to Valhalla, after all.

Also, thank God for Indigo.

Hours had passed, followed with the drunken conductor spewing on about how NEO could make it out. Become a real city, and purge its current anarchy position. Taeyong took the seat all the way in the back, so he obviously thought he was getting a response. Taeyong heard none of it.

Oddly enough, he feels himself waking up just when the train seemed to be slowing down. Taking a plane, or a jet, would’ve been so much quicker, but he doesn’t mind the good rest. It’s supposedly night time now, but there is a glow radiating from the sky. Damnit, he wished he could see the color. It was rumored to be fuchsia every single night. Every damn night.

Taeyong begins to stretch out his back muscles like a swan, preparing himself for his true specialty. He looks out the window, making sure they are in the correct location. The woods are steep; trees everywhere. According the brochures, this was a frequent camping spot for the residents of Valhalla. You had a perfect view of the burning stars that always left the weather warm, and sweet.

In his pocket, he feels around for the paper. He knows he can’t experience those luxuries right now, but it’s not against the rules to imagine, right?

A sweet vanilla scent always fills Camp Lolly! Maybe it’s because we wanted it to match with the pink sky! Or maybe it’s because you deserve it. Either way, you need to bring the whole family! Opening March 21, 3030.

Taeyong chuckles to himself. Cute, he thinks, already feeling the familiar rush of blood bounce around his anatomy. He hasn’t even touched his pistol yet, but his mouth was watering. He even felt his member getting excited, something he had never in his life experienced. He had never been dosed with this much.

“I don’t know why we stopped here.” The conductor takes another swing of his drink. “But I trust you. Wasn’t our conversation just amazing this whole trip? You know, maybe when you come back we can catch up in different ways?”

With the silence that filled the train, you would assume that he wasn’t in it. But that was the best part. A sky fox, he was. He’s crawling on the floor, looking nothing less of a demon. The sight is horrid, and as he approaches his prey, he can feel his eyes flashing. He had never been able to look in the mirror to see if this was a real thing. If the color was actually a bright purple color. Regardless, it feels good. It feels so good, he wants to scream.

“Taeyong? Where are—

Splat.

The pistol is silent even as it cools off, smoke receding from the hole. There’s a fat blood stain on the window, and it brings comfort to Taeyong. He can’t smell it, but he inhales deeply anyway. God, he wanted so badly to keep going. To take this high and do things he had never done before. Shoot him more, squeeze his throat to see if he can make it burst. But there’s no time for that.

“Sorry, buddy.” He laughs loudly. “But you talk too fucking much. Also, bosses orders.” He looks at the watch he always sported on his left wrist; tapping it twice. The text he recieved just minutes before the train showed up hologrammed above the dead body.

Get rid of him when you get there safely.

With his black gloves on, and his mask now covering his identity, he throws the man down the stairs of the train. He cleans the leftover blood on his way out, and with the strength of a million men and woman, he carries his body to the deepest parts of the greenland.

“Did you handle it?”

“Of course I did.”

“I know you can’t see it, but how does it look? It looks different, doesn’t it?”

Different was an understatement. Taeyong had found a safe place to finish his resting, and he was so ready. He was so ready to step foot onto the campus, class.

“They have black bricks.” He stares up, eyes rushing to search for everything. The scenery screamed the future. He can hear cars zooming down the road. They’re everywhere. People are laughing, and walking around with genuine smiles on their faces. Girls are with boys, and they’re not being assaulted, or being forced to show themselves just so they can eat. Some are even holding hands.

The grass seems so soft. More than ever now, does he want his colored vision. Grass is green, but he knew this grass was greener. Possibly a completely different shade of green.

“They have a lot more than black bricks, boy.” Sooman laughs, finding this whole ordeal too adorable. “They look clean don’t they?”

“Mhm.” Taeyong swallows.

“Your Indigo is wearing off.”

“How do you know?” He’s asking questions, but he’s not even listening. He’s quite distracted with the rumble echoing through the sky. On the brochure it always describes the day as blue. So that’s what color he was going with.

“You’re feeling a lot right now.”

“I can take extra. I don’t want you to think—

“Calm down, boy. You deserve to have fun. Starting today, no more Indigo for you. First and foremost, people will start asking you questions, and if your senses are off, it’ll expose you completely. But at the same time, you obviously can’t just stop taking them completely. You’ll be a mess. You’re smart enough to split the grams in half, lessening the dosage, aren’t you?”

“Are you sure? I mean—

“God, I’ve haven’t heard you ramble this much since I found you.”

That sentence brings an unfamiliar tingle to Taeyong’s chest. As usual, that days pops right into his memory, but he’s not content. He can feel his blood pressure rising slightly as he can see the blood again. The way their eyes were in the back of their heads, and their skin was pale.

“Sorry.” Is all he can muster.

“Take a half right now. It will calm you down. Call me when you see her.”

“Okay. See you when I come back.” He speaks, immediately hanging up the phone. Why the fuck did he just say that? So fucking sappy, and weird.

He continues to walk around the large campus. He can still feel that shaking, and it’s making him quite anxious. Just how he was feeling when he got this mission. The worst part of it all, or maybe the best part, was that his mission wasn’t what was bringing him the slight shake. He had literally been sent to murder the president of the most prestigious university in the world, and his entire family, but no sweat.

“Excuse me.” He finally speaks, noticing a girl, white hair, cruising cooly beside him. They happened to be walking over a bridge, assisting them over water. Beforehand, he thought he saw little fish swimming around in it, but he would have to test that later.

“What’s up?”

“What is that vibration? I’m new here.”

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t know?”

His heart slightly stops, but he catches himself as his feet continue to scrape against the cobblestone walkway. He doesn’t care if it’s annoying the girl. He enjoys the sound.

“It’s landing hour. All the people who have flying cars are arriving at school as we speak. Some of them come in flocks, some alone. Most in flocks though.”

“Flocks?” He questions with an innocent head tilt. He knows what the word means, but he wanted to know what kind. Did they have gangs here too?

“You know, sports teams?” Her voice is becoming lighter, indicating she either was really annoyed with his idiotic questions, or she genuinely felt sorry for him.

“Yeah of course!” He corrects, turning his inner liar back on. More like outer liar. Not being on Indigo was way harder than he ever could’ve imagined. Especially when talking was his only way of finishing his mission. “I just mean, what kind of sports do they have here.”

“Well, we have the typical stuff. Swimming, floating rollerskating, but our most popular team is the speed demons. Electrical NASCAR. Hard to explain? you just have to see it in person. Complete jocks. So hot.” She gushes.

“Interesting.” He notes. “Why can we feel them, but not see them?”

“You see, everyone thinks that just because you go here that you’re rich. But that’s not true. I only drive a Tesla! My parents would never even think about buying a flying car! Even though I’m at the school that fucking invented them—anyways,” she breathes, slapping herself a quick time, “they have privileges, like their own parking lot. If you’re on the other side of the campus, you can see them rolling in, but from here? They don’t think we deserve it.”

“Right.” His lips are now folded into a thin line, wanting so badly to scoff at her. She was complaining about having a Tesla, when he had never even been inside a car. Fuck you. He thinks to himself. He’s not stupid enough to say it outloud. This girl is clearly naive, even if annoyed, and he knows he can get more information out of her.

They finally make it over the bridge, and Taeyong continues to observe the campus. There’s more students on this side. He can see ramps, and people using their hoverboards to skate and do tricks. It’s almost an electrical current thats surrounds the boards; lightning. They have no shoulder pads or knee, clearly knowing they are safe. No danger in sight.

“I never asked for your name?” He slides in, adjusting her book bag strap ever so slightly. He notices her blush.

“Mackenzie.” She chokes out. “You?”

“Lee.” He answers simply. “You like it’s here? Other than not having a flying car?” He chuckles. She can’t see or hear the aggression behind it. If his drugs weren’t wearing off, he might have fed on her like the idiot she was later tonight.

“I love it.” She sighs in content. “You meet a lot of great people here who just want to keep the world a beautiful place. Valhalla is...magical. Funny enough, the flying car guys may be hot jerks, but one of them has a sister.”

His ears perk up immediately. This can’t be this easy, can it? The chances of your name about to leave her mouth was actually quite slim, but it was possible. And a possibility is an opportunity.

“Really? Who?”

“Johnny and Y/N. Hottest people here. I know I say hot a lot, but they’re like—sexy. Most popular kids on the campus.” Her hand reaches for his own, and she slyly takes his schedule from his hand. She opens it promptly as they hault at a large pair of stairs. It’s a hologram, and rumor has it; your feet tingle when you walk on it.

Everyone gets a boost! The sign floats.

“Funny enough, she’s in the class. We all have class together.” She smirks. She’s happy. She thinks she has a chance to get with him; or at the least, get in his pants. “Environmental science.” She finishes. “Lucky me.”

He laughs, this time loudly. It echoes, and he sees her smiling even brighter from the sound. This makes him laugh even louder, taking his first steps into his new life; temporarily of course. It does indeed tingle, and feels himself waking up even more.

“No, Mackenzie,” he breaths out, taking a hand and swiping it through his hair ever so gently. “Lucky me.”

When he walks in, his heart stops. The ceiling seems to be unreachable as it practically touches the moon. He also can see right through it, although it seems to be able to protect from horrible weather conditions.

“Also lucky both of us, we’re here.” Mackenzie walks up to a black door; a keypad floating in the center. Her thumb locks itself on the scanner, and it opens immediately. Well, more like dissapeared. He quickly follows behind her, but is stopped and shocked, causing him to hiss.

“What—“ he ravels, rubbing his stomach from the pain. From the other side, he can see her, laughing at him. She thinks it’s cute.

“Everyone has to use their thumb print.” She confesses.

“You couldn’t have told me that before I walked behind you?”

“Everyone has to learn.”

Real funny, Mackenzie. More now than ever did he know she was going to be added to his list.

He sticks his thumb on the pad, and sticks his foot through to be safe. He’s in, and he can see so many people inside. The desks are all levitating; it’s unbelievable. He looks to see if there’s a professor, but there’s nobody. At least not yet.

“You can sit with me. Study buddies?” She cooes, locking his arms into hers, and for a split second, he almost reacts. He was not used to so much affection, not even with his brothers. They weren’t touching unless their hands were around your throat.

Once again, he’s following her lead. She hops on seemingly thin air, adjusting herself into the chair. He does the same, and now that he’s up, he can look around. All over, he can see familiar images. The images from the brochures.

Goon Lagon! Limy likepark! Winter frost!

There’s also a huge map resting in the back of the classroom. He’s too far to read what it says, but he wants so badly to know if NEO even made the cut. Do these people even know it exists? Probably so, right? A smile is creeping on his face again, because he really did it. He’s a monster, invading their world.

He’s caught up in his thoughts, but not so much that he doesn’t notice the door clearing again. He immediately breaks into a cold sweat when he sees who’s coming in.

It’s you. Johnny can also be seen, and he prays that he’s not in this class as well. That would make things so much harder. The two of you hug, followed by hoots and hollers from the guys floating in the back. They must be on the team, too, as they sport similar coats.

Your walk; it’s addicting. The sway in your hips is something Taeyong wasn’t acccustomed to, and the outfit you sport. He can’t see it, well the color, but in reality you’re wearing an orange tube top that read “NASCAR”, and has a car zooming on a track as a finishing touch. Your orange pants match perfectly. You had combat boots, just as he did on your feet, and shades were covering your face. You looked exactly what Mackenzie said you were; popular.

He expects you to find a way to sit in the back. Those seem to be your people. Your potential protectors. But without even thinking about it, seemingly, you hop up right beside him. You remove your shades from your face in dramatic fashion, and your eyes; they’re beautiful. They don’t even have to be a bright color. They’re just black to him, but they’re sparkling.

And yet, he’s unfazed. You’re nothing special, he thinks. A pretty face was nothing.

#nct #nct 127 #nct taeyong #nct series #nct imagine #taeyong #nct imagines #nct scenario #nct scenarios #taeyong nct #nct gang au #gang au #kpop gang au #kpop #kpop series

48 notes · View notes

szopenhauer · 4 years ago

Text

If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? I would add to my wardrobe more than change

How do you/did you get to school? walk, then by bus

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? yep

Is the idea of having a secret admirer creepy or romantic? creepy

What was the last song you sung out loud? https://youtu.be/wycjnCCgUes

Were you excited to learn to drive, or scared? worried that I’ll waste my money

When was the last time you felt incredibly tired? today

In your opinion, who doesn’t deserve to be famous? many people

Was it hard for you to get up this morning? not really

When was the last time you colored with crayons or colored pencils? few months ago

Do you feel comfortable talking about your disorders, if you have them? depends

Where did you go on your last field trip? not sure which was last

Do you think you make a good first impression? no

Do other people’s first impressions stick with you? might

Have you ever had to give up on someone? sure

Would you rather break up with someone, or them break up with you? them break up with me (not my decision) but usually it’s the other way around

Do you think it’s okay to like a cover more than an original? umm...

Are you calm in emergency situations? depends

Who are you most attached to? my dad

What do you depend on other people for? money mostly :(

What goes through your mind when someone breaks up with you? depends

Do you match your shoes with your outfit? sometimes, it’s not that I have enough shoes to do that lol

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? female

What was the last thing you bragged about? not sure what was last

What’s the ugliest thing on your wall? umm...

Who’s your favorite philosopher? Schopenhauer because of all the memes

Do you think Freud was out of his mind? well I prefer Jung

Einstein? he was cool

Who’s your favorite painter/artist? I like many

What day is it? Friday

Are you wearing anything blue? nah

Do you know anyone named Graham? just bread :P

Are you sitting next to anyone? not currently

Do you dislike the last person you Facebook messaged? nope

Who’s the quietest of all your friends? K. always was

Are you home alone right now? If so, where are the people you live with? my mom’s home, my dad is at work

Are you a chocoholic? noooo

Is there a song that reminds you of the person you love/like? Do you listen to that song often? one of them is t.a.t.u. - All the things she said

Do you listen to music while you fill out surveys? sometimes

In the past week, what song have you listened to the most often? not sure

While playing video games, do you prefer being first or second player? second

How many people do you depend on? not many

How many people do you think depend on you? they could live without me

What is the worst color combination? brown and black?

Have you ever injured yourself walking around in the dark? yeah

What’s so scary about clowns, anyway? nothing to me and it’s annoying that they’re part of so many horrors

When was the last time you acted like someone you’re not? sigh...

How many hats do you own/wear? shitload

Do you ever receive comments on your weight? ppl are jealous of my weight so basically my illness :(

Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? of course

What was the last thing that you wrote down [with a pen/pencil]? not sure what was last

Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? my gf only

Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? yup

Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I always win What about hangman? I played it couple of times Are you dangerously in love with someone? woah

Are you cute or sexy? cute Is English your 1st language? it’s not Did you ever perform in front of your entire school? elementary - more than once Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? one time she told me that school was flooded and there were fish and frogs and then I said that to my mom and she called me a liar and got mad even tho I explained to her it was my sister’s idea :( Are you single and proud? you can be single and proud as well as be happy in a relationship too, I am in one now Are you more happy when you’re with people or alone? 90% of time alone What do you think about guys shaving their legs? that’s their life Do you wear lipstick? nah Name something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced. I don’t wanna talk about it

What music album would be used for a movie about your life? soundtrack to my life would have to be a mix of songs from different bands/vocalists

Who was your first crush and what made them special? she was just adorable with her clumsiness and her perfect body and that face and voice and she was just a pretty cool friend to me and I wanted to take care of her so badly, she was the very first girl I ever had a crush on irl if not in general but she was hetero and she changed a lot (not in a good way in my opinion) Write about your first kiss. Was it everything you wished or hoped it would be? I... I never imagined my first kiss before it happened?...

Write about something you now know that you wish you knew earlier in life. How could this knowledge have helped you? blergh

Name one thing you feel brings out the good in people. there’s no such thing, it’s all about the person If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve? absolutely, my health issues Name something you found; what was it and where did you find it? I’ve found shitload of stuff but one thing was the most odd and that’s a taxidermy ferret shawl someone left on a bus stop - at first we thought with dad it must be alive but we came closer and realized someone lost their piece of cloth and we took it Describe the longest amount of time you have ever been away from home. almost a month, I was in hospital Name a celebrity or famous person you wish would take you out on a date. - Have you ever seen a ghost? it seems, it was not just white but a little bluish, no legs and weird face - shaped like in a clay, mostly transparent, slightly glowing, it was in open doors of my room, I woke up with a weird feeling that someone’s watching me and I got really scared so I hidden under a blanket and didn’t look there again until morning, I was trying to convince myself it’s just a shirt that was hanged in the hall but mom said there wasn’t anything like that there at night, now I wish I could see that again hoping I would try to do something more brave about it, I kinda worry I was rude towards them whoever it was

*btw my grandma said that after death some chemicals leave the body and fly like a fog through the cemetery if casket and grave aren’t blocking it too much Describe your note-taking style and habits. everywhere and usually not in line, can be even upside down, just random, different size, clue words etc. Do you believe that we are all here for a reason? What might the reason be? suffering to deserve heaven? Have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive? I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real What are all your thoughts on god? overthinking... What did you learn today? for example - that explaining things to people make me realize more than just thinking about something What 5 traits do people first notice when they meet you for the first time? ask them Have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? poor tree :( In what ways have you traveled? car, bus, train, bike, even a little bit by ship What historical events happened the year you were born? nothing interesting

Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970’s or earlier? sure

What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public? nothing If you don’t have to be up by a certain time, do you like to sleep in as late as possible? no longer than 11 am What are you wearing at the moment? Is it for any particular reason? pajama because it’s past midnight and I should be asleep but I have to finally finish this survey then dry my hair and drink some water first Are either one of your parents retired? my mom is and my dad will be soon Do you buy a lot of DVD’s, or do you tend to just watch everything online for free? watch online, I have no money for buying movies that I’ll watch less than 3 times Does everyone in your household own their own computer? nope

Are you a good gift giver? I try my best and been told that I am despite not being rich

Do you know what XOXO stands for? hugs and kisses

What’s the first person who comes to your mind when you hear the word blue? me

Have you seen any of the Harry Potter movies? first ones

Do you like your significate others siblings? I don’t know her brother

Have you ever recieved a singing birthday card? omg I loved those and I wish I got one :(

Do you remember who your kindergarten/pre-school teacher was? I liked her so much I’ve been sending her cards on holidays years after

Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? never

Do you own anything made of lace? hmm...

How many people do you share a name with? I don’t know anyone with my name

Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? if it’s not an apartment then of course it does, highest possible and thick as I don’t want to see or be seen by my neighbors

Do you own any yellow shoes? yep

Can you type fast? very

In school were you bullied? I was

Are you sarcastic? yeah

Do you read the newspaper? nah

If you died today where do you think you’d go? hell :(

Have you ever been to therapy? few times, didn’t help

Do you use online dating? did

Did you miss alot of school? I was sick often

What was the last thing you got falsely accused of? not sure what was last

What was the last thing you ordered online? shirt, I’m waiting for the package now

Have you ever been kicked out of a store? no :o

Do you feel like you accomplished anything today? hmm...

What is/was your favorite teen magazine? trzynastka or however this shit was called

Would other people describe you as creative? I guess

What color are your slippers? grey and white

Are you haunted by memories of stupid things you’ve said and done? constantly

Did you like high school or college better? didn’t go to college

Who was your favorite Olsen twin? I didn’t have a favorite

Do you ever listen to Celtic music? used to, with John

Do you know a lot of rich and spoiled and selfish people? had classmates like this and neighbors too

Do you enjoy mornings? rarely, not really

Have you ever feared going to jail or thought about what it would be like? thought

Did you know that the zodiac signs (the regular ones) are Greek? ok

Have you ever learned about Greek mythology in school? didn’t like it

Do you stay up late? as you can see

what do you hear right now? nothing

what is one thing in your life you feel truly guilty for? personal

have you ever been slapped in the face? I’ve been slapped without any reason, I was bullied

how about punched? hit with a ball only and my head was hit with a bottle too once

have you ever come up with a memorable quote yourself? I’ve been quoted

what do you think about masturbation? personal

What color did you first ever dye your hair?: either red or black

What’s the color of the bath towel you use most often?: green

Ever eaten a piece of dog or cat food out of curiosity?: ewww, nooo

Can you name one song by Prince?: Purple rain for example

Would you rather paint or make pottery?: paint

Are you currently taking this survey before or after 9pm?: after, I started over 5 hours ago...

Is the sun shining bright outside right now?: it’s the middle of the night!

Would you rather watch a horror movie or a romantic comedy?: romantic comedy ^^”

2 notes · View notes

queenraikichi94 · 4 years ago

Text

A song to heal a tired soul 5 (Raikichi x Piers)

Rated: Teen and Mature

Warning: Bad language and jealousy

Note: Raikichi is around 25 years old

------PART 5-------------

I woke up with the first beams of sunlight that entered in my room through the curtains. With a yawn, I opened my eyes and I took my phone, smiling and blushing when I saw a message from Piers saying ‘Goord morning, babe’. I sent the reply before stretching a bit as my Glaceon yawned while she woke up.

“Morning, girl” I said stroking her fur before checking my phone again when I heard the sound that told me that Piers replied my message.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, and you?”

“Kind of...I’m not used to have proper sleep. Ya know, I had to take care of my sister when I was young and that meant not having proper sleep”

“Oh, sorry...I didn’t know that”

“Don’t worry, I’m accommodate to that”

“Piers?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks...for everything...I mean, going out with you is something that I enjoy a lot and...”

“Ya don’t have to thank me, babe” Raikichi, calm down, calm down...Okay, failed. “I was thinking about going to Mototoske today. No tasks to do in my gym, so I have free time.”

“Really? That sounds nice. Then you will be able to see my match with my uncle”

“Then I’ll go there once I get ready”

“See you there then”

Then he sent me back a heart emoji and my cheeks grew red. Glaceon tilted her head and giggled. I sighed and then, I took clean clothes and went to the bathroom in order to take a quick bath. Once I was ready, I went to the kitchen, finding my uncle there preparing the breakfast.

“Good morning, kiddo” he said smiling “You’ve woken up very happy, right?”

“Yeah, specially cause we’re going to have a great battle” I said taking my breakfast to the table as I saw the TV “Who’s that man?”

“Chairman Rose. He’s the owner of msot of the companies of Galar, and also, he’s the Chairman of the League” my uncle replied “We were going to meet him the day you went missing on the Wild Area”

“Is he going to be in the stadium?”

“Probably. He’s interested in you”

“Oh, c’mon...” I said shaking my head as I kept eating my breakfast

“You’re the World Champion, is something normal that he’s interested in you” uncle Kabu added

“Tell me that there isn’t going to be any press”

“It won’t. I’m not going to allow a lot of them there, and if they do something that disturbs you, they will be gone of the stadium”

I nodded and after we finished the breakfast, we went to the stadium. Glaceon was on alert, looking at both sides in order to find any hints of problematic journalists. The few we encountered just made us few questions but then, they left us continue our way. Once we were inside the gym, we went to the restrooms. There I left my jacket. I was wearing my black and blue outfit, and the leg that wasn’t covered showed the scars I got when that Haxorus attacked me. With my uncle, we went to the Gym court, taking our places, ready for the battle.

“Are you ready, kiddo? Don’t hold all your power! I want to see your potential!” my uncle said

“I’m always ready, uncle, and don’t worry, I’m not going to dissapoint you”

Glaceon stayed at my side as I took one Pokeball of my belt while my uncle did the same with one of his Pokeballs. Uncle Kabu choosed his loyal Centiskorch, and now it was my turn to show who would fight againts Centiskorch.

“Go, Lycanroc! Let your crimson glare shine in the darkest night!” I said as I let my Midnight Lycanroc to go to the battlefield, smirking when I heard his fierce howl “I hope you’re ready for this, uncle. Do the first move!”

“Flame Wheel!” my uncle orderer and his Centiskorch was now covered in flames and now he was coming for my Lycanroc

“Lycanroc, Counter!!”

Lycanroc growled and when Centiskorch hitted him, Lycanroc threw him away with the double of damage. That took my uncle by surprise, and when he saw after another Flame Wheel that I would ordered my Lycanroc use Counter with every physic attack he recieved, my uncle decided to change his strategy.

“Fire Lash!!”

“Stone Edge!!”

My Midnight Lycanroc stopped the Fire Lash with Stone Edge, and then, he was ready for the next attack. “Dual Chop!!”

“Centiskorch, dodge!”

Centiskorch managed to dodge the first one, but not the second Dual Chop. “I’m impressed. I didn’t know that Lycanroc could learn Dragon type moves” my uncle said

“And I can show you more!” I said, smirking. I was really enjoyed the battle, ignoring that there were people streaming the battle online “Snarl!!”

“Dodge!”

This time, Centiskorch dodge it, and then, my uncle knew that it was time to show me all his power. He returned his Pokemon to the Pokeball and then, he made it giant, showing me Gigantamax Centiskorch. He told me the first days I was in Galar that Gigantamax is different of Dynamax, and now I saw it.

“You use Gigantamax...But I’ll show everyone how to beat it using this!!” I said showing my Z-Power Ring with the Lycanium Z. It started to glow as I activated its power while I performed the move. “When the full moon shows its bright face in the darkest night, your crimson glare glows as red as your bravery and courage shines as well” I said, with my Midnight Lycanroc copying the same moves as me “Splintered Stormshards!!!!”

In front of all the people, my Lycanroc performed the Z move againts Centiskorch, creating a really big dust cloud that made a lot of people cough. When the dust was gone, I saw that Centiskorch was still on his Gigantamax form. My uncle smirked before loosing his smirk when Centiskorch returned to his normal form.

“Maybe that Z move couldn’t defeat your Centiskorch, but it was strong enough to get him so exhausted that he couldn’t keep more time on his Gigantamax” I said “Now is our turn...STONE EDGE!!”

Lycanroc howled loudly as he made the attack, making Centiskorch to fly away. Then, my uncle’s Pokemon fell on the ground, out of action.

“Centiskorch is out of action. Lycanroc is the winner and the victory is for Raikichi!” Elle announced

Lycanroc ran to tacklehug me, happy, and I couldn’t help but laughed. Glaceon celebrated the victory as well. Once I got on my feet, I hugged my uncle. “That was a really good battle, kiddo” my uncle said “I really enjoyed it”

“Me too”

“Such a great battle”

We turned to see Chairman Rose approaching us with a big smile on his face. “Chairman Rose, is a pleasure to meet you at least, Raikichi” he said shaking my hand. Something in this man made me distrust him a but, but I decided to hide it to avoid problems.

“The pleasure is mine, Chairman” I replied the most gently as I could. Glaceon, at my side, glared at the Chairman, completly distrusting him “Sorry for not being able to meet you the other day”

“Your uncle informed me and I’m glad you didn’t get too much hurted” he said “I was thinking on asking you something; of course, if you want to hear my offer”

“Alright, what’s in your mind?”

“What about having a match with Leon? I’m sure...”

“Wait,wwait, before you continue, let me put things clear. If I have matches with Leon or with the Gym Leaders, it will be only an exhibition match, not something official. I came to Galar to enjoy a paceful vacation, not to be stressed with official matches are things like those.”

“But...”

“But nothing. That’s my condition to accept matches from Gym Leaders or from the Champion. Only. Exhibition”

“Alright, I’ll respect your choice” Chairman Rose said, Glaceon still glaring at him. He looked at his watch and shook his heard “I should go. I need to attend some meetings. As I said, it was a pleasure, miss Raikichi”

And with a little reverence, Chairman Rose left the stadium. Glaceon calmed down at least, and I relaxed too. “Are you alright, kiddo?” my uncle said putting his hand on my shoulder “You looked tense”

“Yeah...It’s Chairman Rose. I don’t trust him” I said crossing my arms “He has something that makes me distrust him...”

“I don’t like him very much, specially of how he put preassure on Leon when he became Champion” my uncle said “But better having an eye on him, right?”

I nodded and then, Glaceon twitched her ears when she heard something. She turned and then, she jumped on Piers, making him fall with his back on the ground. “Ooof!” he said and laughed when Glaceon licked his face “Okay, okay, I’m happy of seeing you too” he said and when Glaceon jumped to the ground, he stood up and blushed when he spotted me “H-Hi...”

“Hi, Piers” I said smiling and blushing “I’m glad you are here”

“I told you I would come to see your match” he said smiling “Oh, I wanted to ask if...”

But before he could continue, I found myself in the air when Raihan took me on his arms and lifted me “I can’t believe this little Champion has defeated Kabu” he laughed before putting me down when Glaceon touched his bare leg with her paw, cold air around it when she touched him “Okay, okay, don’t freeze me”

“You deserve it” I said before groaning when he put his arm around my shoulders “What do you want now, Dragon Boy?”

“Take a selfie with the winner of the match” he said “And with the Pokemon you used, of course” he got an angry growl from my Midnight Lycanroc

“Oh, c’mon” I rolled my eyes and then, Gordie came as well “Now what?”

“Tell me everything about Lycanroc!” he said “I’ve never seen a Lycanroc before!”

“Eh...Well...”

“Hey, I was first with the questions, Gordie” Raihan complained

“Oh, c’mon, you’re the Dragon type trainer, I’m the Rock type, that means I’m first with the questions”

While those two argued, I managed to sneak away with Glaceon and Lycanroc to a hidden place where Piers was. He looked uncomfortable and nervous, and I knew that it was because he didn’t expect those two to approach us like that. I let Glaceon to rub her face on his legs when she approached him, something that made Piers smile a bit, and his smile grew more when he saw me.

“Sorry for that” I said “I didn’t know they would approach me like that”

“Don’t worry” he said stroking Glaceon and Lycanroc as well “I’m not used to hang out with the other Gym Leaders. I tend to be the lonely Gym Leader that doesn’t hang out with the others”

“I see...” I said with a sigh as I leant my back on the wall “I used to be that too...Then I travelled a bit with friends and then, I turned again to be lonely person I used to be...Being a World Champion is harder than being the Champion of a region...Sometimes, the dangers I have to handle are more than then ones a normal Champion has to handle on their region...Sometimes I think on giving up the title, but I can’t...Who will do the things I do? I don’t know anyone that would take my place and do the things I’ll do”

Piers kept silence as I continued talked until I finished. Then, he looked at me and smiled as he stroked my cheek with his fingers. His touch was a bit cold, but I didn’t mind. I blushed, but closed my eyes before opening them again. “Nobody can do the things you do cause you’re special, Raikichi...If you want, I can teach you some ways to sneak of some Gym Leaders if you feel overwhelmed...” he said leaning down

“I would like that, Piers...” I murmured, our lips barely touching. I could feel his breath againts my lips, and the urge of closing the distance between us made me tug him by his necklace, with care, and leant him down the enough to kiss his lips. It took him by surprise at first, but he quickly wrapped an arm around me as his free hand was on my cheek. The kiss was so tender, so sweet, that neither of us wanted this to end. When whe parted the kiss to take a breath, I locked into his light blue eyes and smiled. Piers smiled as well and then, he let me lean my head on his chest as he hugged me. Uncle Kabu was right. I’ve finally found the person I would love, and I know it was the man who was hugging me now, the Dark type Gym Leader. “Piers?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Did I told you that I love you?” I asked softly and I’m sure he was now blushing madly

“Eh...No?”

“Then you know it” I chuckled as I looked at him “I love you, Piers”

“I love you too, Raikichi” he said softly, stroking my cheeks

We were near to seal our lips in another tender and long kiss when Glaceon and Lycanroc made noises to call our attention, and the did right; my uncle was searching for me. We shared a short kiss before going to the spot where the others were.

“Raikichi, is everything alright?” my uncle said

“Yeah. Raihan and Gordie overhwelmed me a bit so I decided to sneak away. And I think the same happened to Piers”

“Those two sometimes can put us in our nerves” my uncle said with a sigh

“Uncle, could Piers stay this night with us?” I asked and Piers blinked a bit confused “It’s getting late and I don’t want him to go through the Wild Area at night”

“I can take a Flying Taxi for that...”

“I insist” I said and Piers noticed that part of the reason I wanted him to stay was my fear of another encounter with a Dynamax wild Pokemon

“Yeah, it’s getting pretty dark” uncle Kabu said “Alright, he can stay. Maybe we could order some food, if you want”

“Do you know Bob’s Your Uncle in Circhester?” Piers asked and my uncle nodded “What do you think, Raikichi?”

“I didn’t eat anything of that restaurant. I would like to give it a try”

Piers smiled and together with my uncle, whe went back home. Lycanroc asked me to return to his Pokeball, so I let him return. Glaceon didn’t want to return, she loved to walk at my side. Once we were home, I quickly go to take a bath before getting myself into my sleeping clothes while Piers and my uncle ordered the food. Once I was finished with the bath and with my sleeping clothes on me, I went to the living room, sitting in the couch next to Piers.

“Thanks for inviting me” he said, nuzzling my neck as he kissed it softly

“I really care about you, babe” I said and he blushed, something that made me blush “I love when you blush like that”

“Oh...”

I giggled and then, I found myself on a soft hug. Piers was so lovely with me...I couldn’t understand why the people say that he was a bit difficult to know; they didn’t know him the enough. He was kind, sweet, he really cared about his little sister Marnie...Piers was so different to Guzma, and I felt more safe with him than with Guzma. With that on my mind, I sat down again next to him and leant my head on his shoulder while we watched the TV until we heard the noise of the timber, telling us that the dinner was here.

Dinnertime was full of stories and anecdotes, we watched some films before I started to fall asleep. Uncle Kabu went to his room after saying ‘good night’. I wanted to stay more with Piers, cuddling next to him, but he didn’t want me to fall from the couch. “Babe, go to sleep”

“But you’re too comfy...” I mumbled as I cuddled more next to him, making him chuckle

“We can cuddle tomorrow more if you want, but now go to sleep” Piers said kissing my lips “Good night, babe”

“Good night, honey” I said kissing him again before going to my room. Before I entered, I saw him covering himself with the blankets as he searched a comfy posture in order to sleep in the couch. With a soft sigh, I entered in my room, followed by Glaceon.

I laid down in the bed, thinking in what happened. I couldn’t help but smile when I remembered Piers’ lips kissing mine, and his touch when he stroked my face...I rolled to my side as I closed my eyes, Glaceon curling next to me.

“I love you, Piers...” I murmured before falling asleep.

#pokemon sword and shield #trainersona #piers x oc #piers #raihan #gordie #kabu #chairman rose #raikichi pkmn #a song to heal a tired soul

2 notes · View notes

sophielovesbarnes · 5 years ago

Text

Let Us Live Like Flowers, Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: Angst, violence, swearing.

Word count: 3.7k

Author note: Here we are, new chapter fresh out of the oven, I was mind blown with how much love the prologue recieved, and I really hope you like this chapter as well.

Tittle inspired by Ellen Everett.

Gifs are not mine.

Masterlist

Prologue

June, 2019; Brooklyn, NY.

He misses everything about her.

Her lips, her laugh; the way the morning sun illuminated her eyes; the feeling of her warm skin against his, sleeping with her arms wrapped around him, chasing every bad dream away; the childlike smile that always embellished her face; the smell of her hair had in the morning, like honey and lavender; how she swung her hips and sang to herself while she was making breakfast, the feeling of her head against his shoulder while they danced in their living room, the way she looked at him, like he was her favourite person in the world, like he was perfect, as if his hands weren’t covered in blood.

It’s been almost four years, and the sound or her laugh still echoes in his head, her phantom haunts every corner of the house, the halls, the kitchen, the paintings she collected since she was sixteen, her shelf in the bathroom, her side of the bed, the half of the closet where all of her clothes and her hospital scrubs are hung, clean and waiting for her; his friends keep telling him that he should move, that a new house would help him, that he deserves a fresh start and that’s what she would’ve wanted.

He can’t leave, he can’t abandon the home they built, the home where they learnt how to breath again, the place that was supposed to be their safe haven; but mostly a part of him still expects her to come back, some nights he still waits up for her, eyes fixed on the door, and in his mind he sees her; pushing it open, tossing her keys in her handmaid clay bowl, throwing her shoes and her bag next to the entrance mat, with her hair pulled up on a messy bun, dragging her feet on the floor, forcing herself to move, and as soon as their eyes met hers would light up like Christmas lights, she would run to him and they would get lost in each other’s lips, “ I love you ” whispered between kiss and kiss.

But the door never opens.

Time doesn’t forgive, and the world doesn’t stop spinning, so he keeps moving, he goes to work, he hangs out with his friends, he goes to run and he comes back home, following the same routine every week.

Sam has taken the habit of crashing on his couch every Monday; he enters his house like he owns the place, they order food and eat in front of the tv watching any game that it’s on, drinking beer and celebrating or protesting when necessary.

Steve and Peggy visit him on Tuesdays and Thursdays; they bring over their kids and they make dinner, while he plays with Sarah and listens to James telling him about his day at school.

On Fridays the whole crew hangs out at Clint’s place, taking turns to flip burgers at the grill while the kids run at the open field, and the others chat and set the table, sometimes after dinner they improvise a baseball game and sometimes they sit in circle, sharing anecdotes or playing board games, the evenings are always filled with laughs and music.

He pretends that he doesn’t notice the concerned look in his friends’ eyes when they think he’s not looking, or the sympathetic smile they give him when anything related to her comes up.

He likes Saturdays the most; Nat picks him up at his house, they take their motorbikes and ride them across the city until they find themselves lost in the forest; once they find a nice spot, they sit on the ground, they watch the stars, they drink and they eat, but they rarely speak, that’s what he likes about being with her, that she doesn’t force things, she allows him to mourn, he doesn’t have to fake with her, she doesn’t look at him with pity.

She is the only one who actually understands his pain, so they grieve in silence.

He lost his soulmate, and she lost her sister.

***

He’s early as usual so the precinct is almost empty, there are a few officers walking around, three guys locked in the cell, and for the look on their bruise covered faces he assumes they probably got arrested after a bar brawl. Maria and Luke are already at their own desks, typing away on their computers, putting all their paperwork in order before the morning meeting.

At the kitchenette Bucky serves himself a cup of coffee; black, three sugars; and then heads to his desk, he’s up to date with his paperwork so he uses his time to check all the points that have to be touched during the meeting and to make sure that the team’s case reports are well done.

He is distracted by the sound of the elevator opening and sees Steve walking out, briefcase in one hand, decaf coffee at the other, uniform as tidy as always, he walks up to his desk, saying hi to the officers that cross paths with him, when he gets to him he places his cup on Bucky’s desk and the briefcase on the floor.

Steve has that smile, he is planning something, he can smell it.

“Morning Buck.”

“Hey punk.” Bucky replies, “How was your weekend?”

“It was fine, we took the kids to the park, James is decided to lose the training wheels and since Sarah is walking now Peggy thought it would be a good idea for her to explore new territories, yours?”

“Pretty, chill, went out with Nat on Saturday, stayed home on Sunday.” Bucky answers still analyzing Steve’s behavior.

“Good, good.”

Steve’s fidgeting with one of the bubbly heads from his desk, shifting his weight from side to side; he’s definitely up to something.

“So…” There it is, he knew it. “Peggy and I went out with some of her friends last night and she introduced me th-”

“Nope.” He cuts him off “I know what you are about to say, the answer is no.”

“Come on Buck, just meet her, she works with Pegs and is really nice.” Steve insists.

“No Steve, this dates you and Peggy send me to always end up being a mess and a waste of time.” Bucky retorts; it’s not the first time they have this conversation and with the closeness of the date he is already on edge, he doesn’t need to add more stress to his life; the look on Steve’s face makes him take a step back; he knows he has good intentions, taking a deep breath he is able to calm down, when he continues speaking, his tone sounds more relaxed. “Look I appreciate what you and Pegs are trying to do, but I’m not looking to date anyone right now”

“They weren’t all that bad, the one with Carol went well.”

Bucky laughs softly and plays with the rim of his mug.

“Yeah, you’re right, Carol and I did get along.” He takes a sip of his sip of his coffee and places it back on his desk. “I still hang out with her and her girlfriend.”

“Right, point taken.” Steve takes a deep breath and looks at him like he is trying to get him to keep speaking.

“I’m fine punk, really.”

Steve is about to add something else but seems to regret it at the last moment, he places the bubbly head back in its place and smiles again, taking his briefcase and his cup of coffee.

“See you in the briefing room?”

“Sure.”

With this said Steve finally heads to his office, nodding to Maria and Luke as a hello, Bucky returns his attention to his computer but he is unable to focus, he gives up after re-reading the same page five times without being able to actually catch what it says, he drops the file over his desk and takes a sip of coffee.

His eyes end up focusing on your picture.

The one he took after you had just moved in to the first apartment you shared, there’s white paint in your nose and hair, and your head is thrown back in laughter.

He’s able to replay the sweet memory in his mind, the delicacy you had while painting, the accident that lead to a play fight that ended with both of you covered in paint sharing kisses on the floor.

A bittersweet smile it’s drawn on his lips, the anniversary of your disappearance is less than a week away, on Friday it will be four years since the last time he saw you, the last time he kissed you and held you in his arms; he feels the date lurking him, getting closer with every second that passes, and he is not ready for it.

This wasn’t supposed to happen; the two of you had already suffered enough, things were supposed to be different, you were supposed to be with him, to build a family, to walk every step together and that was taken away from him, he was supposed to protect you, he promised he would.

He failed.

Bucky gets so lost on his trail of thoughts with his eyes fixed on nothing that he doesn’t actually realise he’s gone until a voice snaps him out from his trance.

“Sarge?” Luke is staring at him, concern reflected on his eyes. “It’s time.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Luke nods and turns around, walking towards the briefing room, Bucky takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes, he after drinking a last sip of coffee, he takes his binder and follows Luke’s steps, walking across the team’s desks, giving back the smile Maria gives him.

When he enters Steve is already standing behind the podium and Cage is on the left middle desk flipping his badge on his fingers; one by one the rest of the team starts to arrive, Sharon and Maria are the first ones to come in, they sit on the frontal row with their vision focused on the front, they are followed by Mack and Lincoln who seem to be having a heated discussion about the match between the Destroyers and Atlantic City, they give a brief hello to everyone, sit on the desk next to Maria ‘s and continue with their debate, Jessica follows them closely, dragging her feet until the last row where she sits reclining on the chair, putting her combat boots over the table.

The room seems to fill rather quickly after that, after every sit is taken Steve clears his throat, silencing all the voices that fill the room.

“Good morning.” He greets getting a unison response from the squad. “We have a few important things we have to go over today, first of all I want to congratulate the whole team for taking Rumlow down, I know it wasn’t easy and you all did a great job.”

There’s a round of cheers and applause; it feels like a huge weight it’s suddenly lifted from the room, there are hand fives and hugs, Lincoln shuffles Daisy’s hair earning a playful punch on the shoulder and they both smile at each other with that shine on the eyes Bucky knows so well.

For a moment he is happy, watching the team that became a family for him, rejoice causes him a warm feeling in the chest.

“Okay, okay.” Steve says trying to silence the voices and earn the squad’s attention again, “Now, the bond forgeries, where are we standing there? Hill?”

“Got a hint from one of our informers, he linked the bonds with Victor Moreau, it’s an alias, the name has popped up in other cases but there is no actual record of him.”

Sitting next to him Darcy is keeping note of everything said.

“What’s our next step?”

“We are tracking him closely, to see if we can get a real name, all the banks have been notified, if he tries to change them he’s ours.” She states, getting a nod of agreement from Steve.

“Good, keep me posted.” He turns page on the report that he has over the podium and turns his attention to Jessica. “Jones, Cage what’s the status on Klaue?”

“He is smart, dick has teenagers moving the coke in clubs and parties, they blend in.” There’s a small unison laugh when Steve gives a stern look to Jessica while mouthing language.

“We think he’s keeping the drugs on a warehouse under the name of Ahab Melville.” Luke adds.

“Klaue is using a goddamn Moby Dick name, we asked for a search warrant, but Hawley has been stalling it, says we don’t have enough evidence.”

“Then find it, bring in the kids he’s using to deal the drugs, one of them has to be able to link him to the drugs, keep pushing it, we don’t need a man like Klaue on the streets.”

Steve keeps going over the cases, taking note and giving advice when needed, eventually is his turn to speak, Steve lets him take control of the podium and sits next to him.

“The 71st asked for our help, there has been a series of burglaries following the same pattern, the victims receive an alleged call from their phone companies, they get asked for their schedule to program an upgrade on their system, a few days after the unsub breaks into the house and empties it.”

Darcy stands up and starts to deliver a paper sheet with a rough drawing of a man in it to each detective.

“Someone was able to identify him, he’s our principal suspect, keep your eyes open, and make sure to distribute the sketch, let everyone know his face.”

After the briefing everybody leaves the room, the rest of the day goes by uneventfully, Jessica manages to bring in two of the men on Klaue’s network, they get called in for a break in nearby Washington park, after they collect evidence and interrogate all the witnesses he heads back to the precinct and spends the rest of the afternoon doing paperwork and preparing his monthly report.

When he finally gets home he is greeted by the sight of Sam, who is scavenging his fridge and drinking a beer.

“How come you never have anything edible in here?” Bucky sighs with annoyance, leaves his keys on the clay bowl and drops his backpack next to the door. “I mean, seriously, there is beer, an orange, mustard and a litre of milk has been here for like a month, that’s it.”

“Well, maybe you should eat at your own house.” He answers and throws his tie to Sam’s head.

“Nah man, I like your couch better.”

“Birdbrain.” He mutters under his breath, when he feels something vibrating and rubbing against his legs, Bucky looks down and picks up the black and white cat, cradling him in his arms. “He is a birdbrain, isn’t him Bowtie? Yes he is.”

Bucky lays down on the couch, kicking out his shoes, dropping them on the floor, he scratches the back of Bow’s ear who leans in to the touch purring on his hand.

“ Where’s your sister Bowtie? Where’s Strudel?” Like summoned a ginger cat jumps on him, meowing softly and rubbing its head against his chest.

Bucky closes his eyes rests his head on the leather armrest, the cats fall asleep on top of him, lulling him with their breath.

At the kitchen Sam is going through his entire pantry on a probably effortless mission to find something to eat; he is right about the food, Bucky can’t even remember when was the last time he actually went to the supermarket.

He keeps dozing until he hears Sam approaching him, when he opens his eyes he sees his friend smiling and eating straight out from a Cheerios box.

“You are eating my cereal.”

“Yup.”

“Why are you eating my cereal?”

“Because it’s the only thing you have to eat in here.” Sam jests. “Make space.”

“No.” Bucky replies calmly.

“ Move.” He says, trying to push his legs aside.

“I can’t, the cats are asleep.” Sam raises an eyebrow questioning him. “If I move I’ll wake them up.”

“They will get over it, come on man, the game is about to start.” He looks at him expectantly until he gives in and carefully moves the cats out of his lap, both of them protesting and then leaving, and then removes his legs from the couch and places them on the coffee table, Sam sits next to him and turns on the tv.

After the Rangers score their third career the Chinese they ordered finally arrives, they eat in silence until Sam steals the last egg roll from his plate, Bucky turns around to face his friend, giving him a death glare.

“Stop stealing my food.” Bucky says, hitting Sam with a pillow between each word, who looks at him and takes a bite from the roll, choking with it as soon as he tries to swallow, after Sam manages to catch his breath and looks at him with teary eyes they both burst laughing.

“Stop stealing my food.” You laugh and without breaking eye contact you grab another french fry from his plate and place it on your lips.

“I thought that whole “what’s mine is yours was” a thing.”

“Everything but my french fries misses Barnes.” He answers with a smug smile.

“How convenient.” You reply and trap his face between your hands, running your fingers through his hair, leaning in to kiss him.

The sudden flashback leaves his lungs out of air, shutting his eyes closed he focuses on his breath, slowly he is able to recover a steady pace and his heart goes back to beating normally, without saying anything he returns his attention to the flat screen in front of them and acts as if nothing happened.

“How are you holding up?” Sam finally asks.

“I’m fine.” He answers after a few seconds, Sam nods and Bucky is secretly thankful with him for not pushing it any more.

Sam leaves a few minutes after the game giving him a pat on the shoulder and letting him know that he is available if he needs anything, the next days go by in a blur, one moment it’s Monday and the next thing he knows is that it’s already Thursday night and he is in his kitchen, drying the dishes that Steve passes hims and piling them on the pantry, Peggy is in the living room luling Sarah to sleep and James is already passed out on his couch; he feels spaced out, every time someone talks to him he feels like he is listening to them from behind a glass, he can’t focus or keep a normal conversation without having to ask the second part to repeat itself at least twice.

“What do you think? ” Steve stares at him like he is waiting for an answer, which makes him realize he probably missed out a conversation. “Buck?”

“Sorry, what?”

“I was asking you what do you think about Rumlow and the deal he asked for” He repeats looking him with worry.

“I think a scumbag like him would say anything to stay out of prison.” He answers.

After they finish with the dishes he helps Steve to take the kids to the van, when Sarah is tucked in her carsit and James is buckled on the seat next to her Peggy hugs him saying goodbye.

“Call us if you need anything.” She states giving him a stern look, accent as thick as the first day he met her.

“Will do Pegs.” She climbs into the shotgun sit and Steve closes the door after her, turning to face him .

“Hey, are you sure you want to go to work tomorrow? You know there is no problem if you need to take the day.”

“Yeah, I’m sure, see you tomorrow.”

***

He stays awake the entire night, he knows that if he actually wanted to sleep he could just take one of the pills his doctor prescribed him but everytime he closed his eyes his mind would be flooded with memories of you.

So he doesn’t sleep.

At seven o’clock he gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, in it he throws his head back and lets the cold water wash out the tiredness; once he is out he dresses with black pants, white shirt and the tie you gave him for the last birthday he spent with you.

He is halfway through his breakfast when his phone starts to ring.

“Barnes.” He answers.

“Sarge, we have a 10-31c between the Sixth and Sterling.”

“10-4 I’ll be there in fifteen.”

He drinks the remanent milk of his cereal straight from the bowl and leaves it in the sink, once his teeth are brushed and all of his things are in his backpack he takes his keys and heads to the scene.

When he arrives to the scene there are two patrols and the forensics van already parked in front of the building in the entrance there is a young police officer waiting for him.

“Sergeant Barnes?” He nods in answer giving cue to the officer to keep speaking. “Peter Parker sir, nice to meet you.”

Bucky accepts the handshake Peter offers and walks towards the scene.

“You were the one who called it?”

“Yes sir, there was an anonymous call to 911, I was the one closest.”

“Any witnesses?”

“Just one sir, one of the detectives is already interviewing him.”

“Thanks Parker.” Peter smiles at him as he enters the scene, right after crossing under the barricade tape he is intervened by Bobbi, her eyes are teary and filled with worry.

“Sarge…”

“What’s wrong Bobbi?” She opens her mouth but not a single word comes out, he keeps marching towards the scene leaving her behind, when he feels a hand holding firmly his shoulder.

This time is Jessica the one stopping him, looking around he notices that most of the eyes are fixated on him, he removes her arm from his shoulder and wades through the detectives and the coroners finally reaching the scene.

As soon as he does the floor seems to sway under his feet.

There’s a corpse on the floor, covered by a white blanket, and on the wall there’s a missing poster, with the word “found” scribbled in blood.

He falls on his knees unable to breath, the world spinning around him.

The picture and the name in the poster are yours.

Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, let me know what you think, feedback is always appreciated and my asks are always open.

Let me know if you want to be tagged.

Requests are open.

10-31c: Homicide

10-4: Affirmative.

39 notes · View notes