#good month for it too bc its my anniversary of working there soon ::-) and my birth month obviouslyyy

[misterradio]

this feels so ironic bc i have been complaining abt work things lately but i got employee of da month. thats so cool yippeee its just symbolic but im happy ::-)

[said like an acceptance speech] and id like to thank tumblr for being my personal soapbox to whine abt stuff that ensures that i never wanna share my blog with any of my coworkers ever

[project-sekai-facts]

hi its the anon who brought up the anni thing back at it. sorry for doing this again, i'll stop if you want me too.

anyway i think that its most likely gonna be a saki banner, since emu will likely be getting an event pretty soon after that. like 3-4ish months after i think. wouldn't be surprised if emu got another january event tbh.

i don't know who the fes will be though. anniversarys like giving miku fes cards so i wouldn't really be surprised if it happens again. my only issue is i can't figure out who else would get the card? are they gonna start doubling up characters and give a new fes card to someone who's already gotten one. it would be pretty interesting but see how their fragments have changed but i doubt it. are they going to do what they did first anni and do a miku/oc fes. like a miku/tsukasa fes for example. thats my current theory actually, it'd be a good way to introduce mixed festivals with saki/whoever possibly gets mixed in. i don't really know.

anon no please keep talking to me about event speculation i have 8+ months worth of events predicted rn you're giving me fuel

i think saki banner is a possibility as well. she's currently one of three characters who doesn't have a limited banner (the others being rui who could get wxs' lim banner or a mixed lim banner, and ena who's unfortunately out of luck until next rotation), and she's also due for another mixed unit event (her last one was hinamatsuri all the way back in 2021). there's a chance she could be a limited card on the next event, but if she isn't it's gonna reach a point where she's very far behind so they might do what they did with An last year and give her two lims very close together to catch her up. so for now she's my #1 pick for anniversary but we'll see how things go especially since the season 2 launch might fuck with the events idk.

the current rotation is actually set to end in january (assuming two events per month) so january emu could work if they swap her and tsukasa on the normal wxs rotation and make her the last event. i get the feeling wxs will shuffle their event order this rotation because they've done nene->rui->emu->tsukasa twice in a row now. alternatively, something i've been considering for a while now is Emu being the next wxs event (probably in summer). it's a bit close to amidst a dream but then again shiho got a february and august banner last year which is about the same gap. mainly the reason i've considered this is because of shuffling the event order and also bc they're very clearly holding back something with rui (read:

) and prsk has a habit of pushing important plots back (like the Nagi lore), but ultimately i feel it could go either way between rui and emu does any of this make sense i'm so sorry for writing a massive paragraph about literally one sentence you said

i agree i wouldn't be surprised by fes 3 miku but then there's the question of who to pair her with. kaito and meiko don't have fes but you'd think they'd get paired together, right? so maybe they'll be the anniversary fes this year but also it's an important anniversary so miku seems more likely. i doubt they'll give any of the human characters Fes 2s before some even have their fes 1s, so I'm ruling that out as well. my only other thought is Saki being a fes card instead of being the event card. mainly because they kinda fucked shit up by putting ichika with miku so now saki has no one to pair with unless they give ichika a fes 2 at the same time saki gets fes 1, which offsets the balance. also i think mixed fes banners is a really cool idea but i feel they would only start doing that once everyone has their fes 1 card.

anon i'm so sorry for writing a response this long

[kaladinstormsblessed]

i am in boston which means i am nearly home! scotland was good but i am. exhausted mentally physically and emotionally. since april 24th i have returned to pa, gotten violently sick with a stomach bug, taught my silly little pompeii class, attended more end of semester events than i thought possible, socialized so much, started working in the library again, agonized over my conference paper, gave my conference paper, and spent 10 days in scotland. i am ready to. calm down and relax, especially since things will be picking up soon. i think my dad's death is finally starting to set in (my mom and younger sister are on a vacation that they had planned with him and my mom said he had actually seemed excited about it and was making plans for it, which he rarely did) and june is going to be a rough month (in 18 days, my dad's birthday, father's day, and my parent's anniversary) in addition to my regular summertime sadness etc. the exhaustion is really existential and bone deep at this point - i'm so tired and yet i have so much work to do. so i'm going to try and keep! it! simple! i give myself permission to be sort of a hermit for the next several days as i recover (except for therapy tomorrow :/ and maybe sunday bc m did offer to do something for my dad's birthday). i think i will use tomorrow as a reset day - therapy in the morning then laundry and maybe groceries/cooking. i may then sneak into campus bc i want to see if i can set myself up in a different study space on campus - our library is open stupid hours this summer and so i want to see if i can find another place to work. i will unfortunately want to move all of my stuff 🙃 after that, it's down to work.

prelim stuff

focus needs to be on finishing my notecards and essays. sacrifice is in pretty good shape, so it's really the other three: need to add some stuff to my homer essays and finish going through both commentaries for all seven books; need to tweak my pompeii essays; and then need to finish my flash cards for jerome. i will then want to spend a little bit of time each day studying.

i am also eyeing the possibility of renting a place in like. maine or connecticut while i'm taking my exams. this may be literally impossible but i want to explore the option. it would be so nice to be unreachable and have a nice little place on the water somewhere cool.... august is such a disgusting month.

diss stuff

going to ease into this! will reread all the letters in english and make a reference doc with notes and decide which to tackle in the latin first. i should also go back and look at my prelim notes for this and start getting some questions rolling. i need to remind myself that i only have two months since august will be all prelims. goal is to have something to my advisor when i touch base and confirm my prelims in early july and then right before i dig into my exams in august. ideally this would be the bare bones of a proposal.

american school

ugh a whole lot here. need to confirm i can sublease my apartment and find someone to take my place (fingers crossed j has found someone for me). need to confirm that my birth certificate is getting its apostille. need to do a whole bunch of paperwork some of which is probably going to be late (i don't have a pcp like a clown...if i die i die). i also need to confirm my visa appointment and what all i need (big things will be my letter and my flight). i will also need to completely redo my wardrobe which i hate but it'll be a good excuse for me to get rid of a whole lot of shit. don't need to go too wild but need good hiking boots and pants etc.

professional development

my only goal here is to have something for oxford patristics since it only happens every four years. that abstract isn't due until the end of august and i'm hoping something will spark in my diss research. i can also tentatively look at the roman baths and agency conference although that might be a bit much. i also want to keep an eye on a couple other things. i realized that i count as a medievalist in some circles (which...why) but means i should keep an eye on imc and kalamazoo. i might also want to submit the paper i just presented to naps (the hard thing is i will be in greece and am unsure if i'll be able to get away - but it's probably worth applying for). also pay attention to vagantes and see if i qualify for that.

there's also a conference at penn june 20th-22nd that touches on a lot of my research interests (and has multiple people i know and/or are getting cited in my sacrifice prelim) that i should attend.

mlsn

python class starts next tuesday! i cannot forget that! i need to email and ask a couple questions but hopefully this will be a more relaxed class bc i will not be lecturing the whole time.

exercise

i need to start doing yoga again! maybe i'll start at 3x per week. i also want to do physical therapy and walk for 60 mins every day. this is tricky bc it's already so hot. doing it after dark makes sense but when i'm home i'm home. i want to try and start getting up early (like 5ish?) so early morning maybe? idk to think on.

other stuff

i am feeling very socialized and overstimulated so i need to make sure i don't completely bury myself in the sand here. i have an invite from one of the first years to grab ethiopian food next week and plans to work out daddy issues with a couple of other folks on father's day. and i should keep up with trivia and try and make sure bingo with s happens. i would also love to get down for a phillies game and some other fun stuff in the city! i can think about this more but rn it's okay if i ignore people for awhile! i am feeling very overwhelmed!

this is. a lot. but it'll be okay! i will be glad to be back home and getting into some sort of routine.

[thegeminisage]

pspsps ms liz, hi, I've been here multiple times (mostly about games) and I saw you have Deathloop, or at least have it installed (sorry if its weird to look at the games you have installed on your desktop, i was curious) and its currently on sale on steam and i love a good timeloop. I played Prey a bit ago (holy shit the ending threw me for a loop WOW) and enjoyed it, I have a friend who raves about Dishonored and they haven't steered me wrong with games so far, so I have good feelings about Arkane games.

I wanted to ask your opinion on Deathloop before i spend $30 on it 💀💀

um anyways, have a good day!!! please also give your kitties pets for me, they're all adorable

HI BESTIE, dw i am petting ALL of the cats and also it's definitely not weird to look at my desktop since im the one who posted pics of it, although there are some games on there i havent played yet (i tend to take the ones im finished with OFF the desktop but deathloop earned it place). rip start again and night in the woods i swear i am going to get to you soon

so yeah AS you guessed the short answer is YES IT IS WORTH IT!!! doubly so if you can get it on steam. the long answer is:

i have played basically All of the games from arkane and deathloop feels more like dishonored than prey, but that isn't a bad thing!! (if you haven't played the dishonored series and you wind up liking deathloop i'd highly recommend it.) gameplaywise everything feels really polished and fun...when i played i was letting my buddy watch me do the story, so i wound up replaying missions i'd already done in my spare time bc i just couldn't keep my hands off of it. i found ways to do levels i didn't think were possible. there's a lot of freedom in it

the abilities in deathloop imho are what make it resemble DH more than prey, but i think the abilities system is more fun than in prey because in prey when you get the alien abilities it makes the enemies more hostile and i didn't care for that. these are simplified but really fun, i always had a hard time choosing which ones to equip because they're all really good (though admittedly i never played with the one that lets you fling stuff everywhere bc i didn't care). the weapons and trinket system you use for your upgrades comes with a bit of a learning curve (the tutorial section was horrifically annoyingly long) but once you learn the ropes it's a very smooth, fun, satisfying way to work. i havent tried the new update they just released for the 1yr anniversary but it looks amazing too!

the aesthetic and music and the characters are wildly funky and extremely, outrageously fun - the banter you get as you proceed through the levels is very entertaining. it feels like much more of an adventure than prey because it doesnt have that sense of isolation and the characters CUSS. the bosses are the perfect combination of challenging and scary and weird without being TOO hard (with the exception of fia, who has the dubious honor of being one of the most stressful controller-against-the-wall challenges i've ever played, taking me almost twenty tries to complete - come back after you do that one and tell me how many years you aged). i played deathloop before the update that added difficulty levels and i'm not a pro gamer by any means, so anyone should be able to complete it. it's really satisfying to go back to a level you once struggled on with better weapons and abilities and breeze right through it!

that said, there are a couple of cons - the biggest one for me was that my PC had a liiiiittle bit of trouble running it without framerate skips and it took me a long time to get those eliminated. the second biggest one is i think it needed another 6 months or so of dev time, especially in regards to the story. VERY minor story spoilers in the form of: my opinion, but!!! like i said, i haven't played the free update - apparently there's a new, secret ending - but the one we got felt a little bewildering and and anticlimactic. i kept waiting for it all to mean something and it kind of...only meant a little, really?? there's one major twist but instead of making me go "oh COOL" it made me go "oh bad :/" and it was definitely kind of a blueballed feeling bc the rest of the game had my expectations SO astronomically high. to finally finishing the thing was a bit of a letdown

THAT SAID, in spite of its flaws it's one of the most fun times i've ever had playing a first person shooter-ish game. i just wish there was more to do. even replaying some of the levels in my downtime i still only racked up slightly less than 50 hours. but i'm sure on replays/if i were to 100% things/if i tried multiplayer (i havent so far bc crossplatform play costs $$$ and i heard it was a bit lacking anyways) i could get more, which i might go back and try someday, because it's SO FUN. trust me if they gave me 200 hours of content in that game i would play all 200 of them

anyway, can't rec it highly enough, the steam price has apparently dropped to like $24 bucks so you will NEVER find it any cheaper. if you truly do hate it you can return it if you've played less than 4 hours so WHY NOT give it a try. i really hope you enjoy it cuz i sure did!!!

[t0shii]

hq boys when you're feeling anxious or stressed

suna rintaro, hinata shoyo, oikawa toru x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of anxiety, reader comparing themselves to others, mentions of food & hunger, driving. this is like all fluff no angst rlly tbh.

SUNA RINTARO.

he could tell something was up but conviced himself he shouldnt pry as he had already asked you twice if you were feeling alright, to which you reasurred him with a "yep" both times, it was suspicious but he thought maybe you just wanted to be left alone. meanwhile you weren't sure why you lied him, you obviously were not doing okay at the moment. currently he was driving you home and your anxiety was going absolutely crazy from the amount of school work that was piling up on you, it's unfair you thought to yourself, looking out the window. not only were you stressed from work but trying to keep up with your friend was hard, to say the least. they were phenomenal students, straight As in their transcript and though your grades were just fine, you couldn't help but feel inferior and insecure. it's unfair how effortlessly smart they are and how i'll never be able to catch up.... oh boy if your thoughts weren't running wild before they definitely were now, you hadn't even realized your boyfriend pulling into your driveway until he slightly tapped your shoulder. "are you sure you're alright? i don't wanna pressure you ofcourse but, you know you can tell me anything right?" ... and there were the water works! the little string holding you together had snapped just like that. you sat there in the passengers seat sobbing into your hands and suna rintaro hadn't a clue what to do in the moment.

"give me just a sec" you heard him mumble but not before he gave you a kiss as light as a feather on the top of your head. somehow you didn't notice him exit the car and rush to your side until he opened your door and hugged you so tight you honestly couldn't breathe. after a few seconds your boyfriend let go of the embrace which, to his dismay, only made you cry even harder. now, he knew he was known for being quite... stoic but he was definitely panicking on the inside and it was really difficult to remain calm on the outside. your boyfriend carefully reached over you to unbuckle the seatbelt that you had yet to unclasp. "lets go inside baby." his voice was so gentle it would've taken you by surprise had you not still been crying. you nodded in response and he helped you carefully out of the car, holding your hand all the way to the door, "d'ya have your key?" you nodded trying your best to unlock the door, after a few struggled and shakey attempts you finally had your door unlocked but not without rins help because he couldn't bare to watch you struggle any longer.

stepping inside rin helped you take your shoes off, removing his own after, "bedroom?" having calmed down a little you whispered "yes," with a small nod. he nodded with you in response and took you to your bedroom. after helping you change into comfy clothes he helped you into bed, crawling in right behind you. your back was snug against his chest and he held you super tightly, it was silent for a few minutes until finally he spoke up, "please tell me how i can help" you could feel your lip quiver. "well... you don't have to say anything right now, you know i can wait. i'll even leave if you want, i just wanted you to know that you can tell me whenever you're ready and that i'll listen." neither of you were sure when you'd be ready to admit what had gotten you so upset but you felt comfortable knowing suna rintaro would be there whenever you were ready, whether it be minutes from now or even months.

HINATA SHOYO.

your silence on the walk home was starting to concern him.. maybe im just talking too much... he thought, "hey... im sorry if im talking your ear off.. how was your day angel?" to say he was disappointed with your response would be an understatement. not thar you HAD to talk but usually you were talkative with him and the worry in his tummy was only growing more. a simple, "oh.. my day was alright sho," simply woundn't cut it! "hey, are you feeling okay?" it was silent for a few seconds before you answered a mumbled "i think so, are you feeling alright, sho?" he simply nodded with a "mhm" and you told him to continue on with his story from earlier.

he complied but only to fill the silence. hinata decided to trust you when you said you were okay because you know your own feelings and he knows for a fact he's made it clear before that you could and should let him know if something was bothering you. though you enjoyed listening to hinata's stories you only found yourself getting lost in your own mind whilst he rambled on.you could tell he was suspicious of your behavior but was grateful he had left his curiosity behind because you were sure you would snap if he had asked you if you were okay again, you really didn't want to cry in front of him. truth is, your thoughts were running wild, stressing over the smallest things; assignments due at the end of the week, what you were gonna get your boyfriend for your anniversary, how you were gonna make time for your friends surprise birthday party and helping sho with his studied all the while trying to take care of your own self and keep your own grades afloat. "y/n..? we're at your house.. are you sure your alright? you look a little pale, are you ill?" crap! how had you not noticed you were approaching your own driveway you wanted to slap yourself for being so clueless. you couldn't help but feel horrible for not listening to your boyfriends story also.

"yes sho i'm fine really, i just didn't have time to eat lunch today but i have food inside so don't worry m'may?" he looked at you suspiciously and you knew he was onto you, "y'know y/n, i'm not gonna force you to tell me what's going on but just know i'll always be here for you, okay?" he gave you a small smile before engulfing you into a tight hug, it honestly melted your heart. surprisingly, you didn't start crying on the spot. "y'know, i wanted to trust you when you said you were okay but now i'm not so sure if you were telling the truth," he mumbled into your shoulder. you sighed, giving up the facade. "sho.... i just don't know what to do honestly, i have alot on my plate right now and i'm really stressed with all the responsibilities ive piled onto myself," you admitted. he nodded lifting his head from your shoulder, giving you the brightest smile, "well, i can always help out! i might not be the mooost helpful person ever but i'll try my best, and if anything i'm good moral support!" you giggled at that but suddenly you felt your lip quiver from the sudden guilt you feeling, "i'm sorry for lying to you sho-", "hey! its alright! you dont need to apologize. especially dont need you crying on me now!" he smiled cupping your face in his hands, wiping away a few stray tears of whom managed to escape.

OIKAWA TORU.

you smile back at him and thought of how silly it was that you tried keeping your feelings a secret from your boyfriend of two years, hinata shoyo, feeling glad that you confided in him. he knew you were upset as soon as he saw you that very morning, he could read you like and open book and you knew that fact very well. still though, you tried your best to hide yourself from him, though it was hard considering you sitting right next to him in the passenger seat of his car. finally after a whole day of being worried sick, he was tired of leaving things left unsaid "babyyyy," he sang for you from the kitchen, "please come here a sec!" he yelled for you louder. soon you came trudging down the hallway, blanket wrapped around your body, he couldn't help but smile at how adorable his s/o looked.

"c'mere quickly," he said will a grin, opening his arms for a hug, which you gladly accept, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly. "now, i know you know that i know that you're not feeling well, so please tell me what's got my angel so upset?" he said softly rubbing his hand lightly over your back, his voice a little muffled from his cheek being squished against the top of your head. you let out a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding, "'m sorry tooru, i don't know what's wrong with me today.... just not feeling well." you felt him nod against your head in response, "well good thing your amazing boyfriend is here to make you feel all better huh?" you let a out small giggle at that. "you know you can tell me when you're feeling down right? you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside", "i know tooru... im sorry, i just dont really know wbat i'm feeling so down about though," you admitted shyly. "hey that's okay! there absolutely no need to apologize for that, here, look at me, angel," he tilts your face so you're looking up at him, his big soft hands holding your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks lightly, "i'm here whenever you figure it out, hell, even if you dont figure it out or there just isn't any reason at all. you know i'm always, always, always here. i promise you that, m'kay?" he finishes his little speech with a smile, smothering your face in kisses. you could only feel relieved, thankful and loved. because you knew that you would always have your soulmate, oikawa toru by your side.

( a/n ; ahh so im sorry if this has any spelling or grammatical errors it's sort of late as i'm writing this! and im too lazy to proof read.... also it might just all be word vomit and if it is im so sorry 😩 ++ i'm positive ive kept the reader gn throughout the whole thing but if there are slip-ups i promise i'll do better next time! i rlly wanted to write some hq boys when ur feeling anxious and beyond stressed because i have been MEGA struggling with my own anxiety lately, especially bc of school so i just needed to let my feelings go! anywhooo i hope everyone who reads this has an amazing day or night! ) p.s. im new to writing so be nice 2 me or whatever 😩🙄😌👍🏻

[semisgroupie]

 The Woman Who Used to be Mrs. Jones

Genre: smut, fluff (kinda at the end?), angst

Pairing: Aoi Todo X F!Reader

Word Count: 6.4k words

Warnings (some of the content can be triggering so please read through the warnings before reading this): cheating (in this Todo is the other man/reader is in a loveless marriage where her husband cheats on her/her husband is just a huge asshole), toxic relationship, sexual scenes, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy), oral sex (f! and m! receiving), dirty talk, multiple creampies, bathroom sex, praise, risky sex (they fuck at a party the reader and her husband is hosting), mention of a small altercation between Todo and reader’s husband, mention of a child & brief mention of pregnancy (not detailed),  if I missed anything let me know

A/N: I do not condone, support or encourage cheating! It is not good, don’t do it! The song Me and Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul helped me with creating this piece so I recommend listening to it while reading this. This has depicted sex within this so MINORS DNI (I’m not gonna cry bc I don’t cry but I am not afraid to beat some ass) So I hope you all enjoy it, comments/reblogs are very appreciated!!! I also apologize in advance if formatting is weird on mobile :/

Flashbacks are bolded & italicized! Also separated by a border!

Todo walks up to the counter of the cafe and orders the usual for the both of you. He came early since he was done with work earlier than usual so after paying for the drinks he carried them to the special spot you two shared. Once seated he takes his phone out to check the time while taking a sip from his drink.

The time read 5:45. You got out fifteen minutes ago and your job wasn’t too far from the cafe, so you’d be there soon. The bell chimed to the cafe and Todo looked up to see you walk in.

His heart pounded in his chest, you looked as beautiful as you did the first day he met you all those years ago in high school. Once you two made eye contact you flashed him a smile and made your way over to him.

“Hey baby, I didn’t think you’d be here before me.”

He felt his cheeks flush at the pet name. You leaned down to hug him and give him a kiss, placing your hands on each side of his face caressing him as your lips met. Once you pulled away you sat down and started talking about your day at work.

He couldn’t help but lose focus as to what you were saying. He knew your day was tough from how your hair looked a bit disheveled from running your hands through it, a habit you had picked up when you were extremely stressed.

Time passed as the two of you spoke about each other’s days and then you were both done with your drinks.

“Wanna go home now Aoi? As much as I love it here I found this new recipe online that I would really like to try out!”

He nodded as you both got up, tipped the cashier one last time before heading to your shared home. The distance was short from where you both were currently and when you two were together even one hundred miles would feel like two blocks.

As Todo put the key in to unlock the door he sighed in content. Once you both were inside he took your jacket off and put it away. He leaned on the kitchen island while you started taking out ingredients for dinner.

“This isn’t a dream right Y/N?”

It just felt so unrealistic to him he just had to be dreaming. Your laughter filled the air as you walked towards him. You wrapped your arms around his body and looked up at him.

“While we did this in the most unconventional way it is very much real” you removed your left hand from his body to put your hand close to his line of view, “this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.”

Unconventional? Was that even the right word to explain the events that led you both to where you are now?

You started your arrangement with him two years ago. You became “Mrs. Jones” a year before that. A happy marriage was wished to the both of you, but your marriage was anything but that. Six months after you both said your I do’s you found your husband in bed with his boss. They didn’t even think about trying to conceal their affair.

To say it broke your heart was an understatement. You felt like he ripped your heart out of your chest and destroyed it slowly as you watched. Soon there were lonely nights filled with you drinking and crying yourself to sleep. Soon after you just became numb, you got used to putting up a facade whenever your friends or family asked how married life was.

The only one who knew of the affair and how horrible your marriage actually was, was your best friend Valerie. When she first found out you had to hold her back the next time she saw him because she was just filled with rage. You were trying to find a good divorce attorney, but you just didn’t have enough money yet, so you were stuck for the time being. Then it was time to plan how to celebrate one year since the day you married him.

Valerie said that she would bring a special surprise for you, but you just pushed it to the side. You settled on hosting a party at your parent’s house since it was big enough. The fake smile you had plastered on your face burned your soul more than the cheap ring on your finger. A cheap ring that meant the entire world one moment but now means absolutely nothing.

You were leaning on the wall, holding a glass of champagne, next to your husband as Valerie approached you.

“Y/N! You look absolutely stunning!” she gave your husband a side glance as she begrudgingly said his name, “Declan... anyways I have your surprise so come with me to the backyard!”

Before you could say anything she grabbed your hand and weaved both of you through the crowd of people. She opened the door and you almost dropped your glass at the sight.

“Aoi? I thought you were away in Sweden?”

Todo brings a hand to his neck.

“I was but my job relocated here, and Valerie told me everything. As much as I’d love to say congratulations, I can’t.”

Your body moves on its own as you approach him and hug him. He holds you on instinct and all that is heard is sniffles. You move back and quickly apologize for your abrupt actions.

“Hey, don’t apologize pretty girl” he brought his hands to cup your face and wiped the tears from your face, “Declan should be the one apologizing, how could he take someone like you for granted. I know you might not believe me, but you look just as beautiful as you did when we were in high school.”

The two of you were high school sweethearts but got accepted into different colleges. The inevitable happened and you both broke up, heading your separate ways losing contact. The last thing you heard about him was he had a job in Sweden and that was it. After college you met Declan and he seemed like a knight in shining armor, but it was too late for you to realize he was the devil in disguise.

You leaned into his touch as if you two were the only ones there. Only if he was the one you married; you both would be so happy. You wouldn’t have to worry about any mistresses or affairs because even in this moment you felt all his love. Todo moved in and before you knew it you felt his lips on yours.

You melted into the kiss immediately kissing him back until he abruptly pulled away.

“I am so sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to you’re still married, and this is the anniversary party and he’s inside—”

“I don’t care about Declan. The only one I care about is you. Valerie always says I should be a little selfish and now is the time. I still care about you Aoi, I still love you. The piece of my heart that left with you is now back and I’m whole again. I understand if you’re not comfortable with this, I am trying to find a lawyer and once I get the promotion at my job I can finally pay for one.”

You looked up at him hoping he would indulge you in one last kiss even if it would be the last one you two ever shared. You watched as a smile grew on his handsome face.

“I love you too Y/N, I always had and I always will. When Valerie told me about everything I cannot explain the anger I felt not only at him but also myself. If I never left then you wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe you would’ve been with me.”

He leaned down and placed another kiss on your lips. Before it could continue Valerie ran out to the both of you.

“Hey lovebirds as much as I love seeing you two together Declan is starting a toast and wants his wife by his side.”

She rolled her eyes as your husband’s name left her lips. You took a deep breath and turned inside, Valerie and Todo following you. You took another deep breath as you made your way to your husband putting up the fake smile. He handed you a glass of champagne and started the toast.

“This past year with my beautiful wife by my side has been the best year of my life. Waking up next to her every morning is what fuels my fire. I love this woman so much and marrying her was the best decision of my life. Thank you all for coming and supporting us. Here’s to a happy, healthy marriage and for many more years to come!”

As glasses clinked and cheers filled the room you were filled with disgust at his words. How could he spew such garbage knowing it meant absolutely nothing?

“Come on honey, you can do a better job with that fake fucking smile. Make everyone believe that we’re in love and that I haven’t fucked almost every single one of my coworkers. Maybe I’ll even indulge in you tonight.”

“Fuck you Declan, you piece of shit.”

You excused yourself to the bathroom shoving your heel into his foot making him wince in pain. Todou followed you upstairs a few minutes afterwards hearing your sobs. He knocked on the door once, twice until your shaky voice responded.

“Hey it’s me, I wanted to check on you.”

He waited hearing your heels click on the ground until you reached the door to open it. You looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, eyes puffy from all the rubbing and wiping your tears away. Todo looked at you with so much love it was as if Eros struck him with his bow.

He quickly placed his lips on yours, the kiss feverish but also very loving. As if he was telling you how much he loved you each time his lips met yours. He picked you up and placed you on top of the bathroom sink, quickly running to shut and lock the bathroom door.

“Please let me make you forget about him. Please let me show you what it is like to make love and not fuck. Please Y/N.”

All you did was nod before placing your lips back on his allowing your hands to slide down and undo his belt. He allowed you to undo his belt and pants letting them hit the ground while he was lifting the skirt of your dress up.

“As much as I’d love to take my time worshipping your body we have to make this pretty quick beautiful. But please if you want to stop at any time stop me.”

You nodded at him as you felt his hand lightly graze your clothed pussy. He moved your panties to one side as he slipped a finger in, slowly moving it then inserting a second finger moving it just as slow but each movement made you moan and shiver. You started getting impatient and you grabbed his wrist.

“Please Aoi, please make love to me.”

He slotted his lips against yours again as he removed his cock from his boxers. Moving the tip against your folds making you both moan in the kiss. Once he entered you, slowly and gentle, you broke away from the kiss to throw your head back and moan. Once you gave him the okay he started thrusting.

“Fuck, you’re so tight baby. Just holding me like you don’t want me to let go.”

He moved faster hitting all the right spots. It was as if his cock was designed to fit inside your pussy. Both of your moans and groans filled the small bathroom. It quickly became heated as the mirror started to fog up. He started thrusting into you faster and harder making you throw your hands on the mirror for stabilization.

He placed sloppy kisses along the column of your neck. He lifted himself from your neck to lick two of his fingers and place them on your clit, moving them in small tight circles.

“Come on baby cum for me. Cum all over my cock and I will fill you up. I’ll make this pretty little pussy so fucking messy with my cum and you’ll walk around in that party filled with it. You look so fucking gorgeous baby. I love you so much.”

That sent you off the edge, creaming on his cock with a high pitched moan of his name. He continued pounding your pussy through your orgasm as he was nearing his own. You pulled him in for another kiss running your nails up and down his clothed chest. Feeling your nails against him made him reach his own peak, filling you completely with his cum.

Todo peppered kisses along your lips, swollen and puffy from kissing so intensely, as you both came down from your highs.

“I’m going to pull out now okay?”

“Okay that’s fine.”

You didn’t need to tell Todo to be gentle, he was already treating you like fine glass. He slowly pulled out and quickly moved your underwear to cover your cum filled pussy. A low chuckle left his lips.

“Don’t want you leaking cum all over the place.”

He lifted you off the bathroom sink after picking up both his pants and boxers. Before you could even smooth out your dress Todo did it for you, fixing any flyaways in your hair and placing one last kiss on your lips. He unlocked the door and helped lead you to the stairs.

“We should head down at separate times so we don’t look so suspicious.”

You nodded, placing one last kiss one his lips.

“I love you Aoi.”

“I love you too Y/N.”

You went downstairs and walked to your parents. You had a small limp and it filled both Aoi and yourself with joy seeing how your husband stared, completely confused at you. Valerie leaned next to you close to your ear.

“I already gave Aoi your phone number, go get that dick again.”

She lightly smacked your ass, a small yelp leaving your lips. The party went on for a couple more hours, lingering glances shared between you and Todo. When the party ended you had to figure out a ride situation since your husband drank way too much and you were a little tipsy.

Declan’s brother offered to take him back and before he could offer you a ride Todo came up and offered to take you home, to which you immediately agreed. The ride was filled with laughter and talk of memories. Also, when Todo parked at a secluded area near where you live you thanked him for the ride with a mind blowing blowjob.

He dropped you off in front of your place, being the gentleman he is, he walked you to the front door giving you one last kiss.

“I hope to see you again soon beautiful angel.”

“How about tomorrow? We could go get drinks or dinner.”

“There’s a cafe near my job, I’ll text you the address. Meet me there tomorrow when you’re done with work.”

You nodded as you fished your keys out of your purse. Taking a deep breath you unlocked the door and put your things away, heading straight to the guest bedroom because you refuse to sleep in the same bed Declan had all his whores in.

You thought he went to sleep until you heard a groan of your name. You rolled your eyes and continued going to the guest bedroom, ignoring him until you felt a hand grab your wrist.

“What do you want Declan?”

“What, I can’t touch my wife? You looked really sexy tonight so I thought I might do you the favor of fucking you.”

Fire burned in your veins. Every time you tried to pull yourself away from his hold, his grip got tighter.

“Declan, you’re drunk, and I hate you. Even if I was drunk I still wouldn’t go to bed with you, so make good friends with your hand or call one of your whores up because I will never sleep with you again.”

He turned you around.

“Listen here you bitch, you will never talk to me like that ever again. I did you the fucking favor of marrying your sorry ass now you treat me like this? I haven’t touched you in fucking months and this is what you tell me? Fuck you.”

“My sorry ass? Did me a favor? Did you also do me a favor by cheating on me over and over again? Did you do me a fucking favor then Declan? Rubbing it in my face that you didn’t love me the way I loved you, fucking anything that had tits and bringing them back here. I. Fucking. Hate. You. Rot. In. Hell. I don’t know what those girls see in you anyways, I had to fake almost all my orgasms and your dick has a weird curve, you should go see a doctor for that actually. I can’t wait until I have the money to divorce you and properly leave your sorry ass in the dust.”

You snatched your arm from his grip and locked yourself in the guest bedroom. You took off the heels and unzipped your dress letting it hit the ground as you made your way to the bathroom that was connected to the room. You took off the ring on your left hand flushing it down the toilet.

“That’ll be the last I see of you.”

You turned on the shower letting the water run, steam filling up the bathroom fogging up the mirror. You slipped your panties off the memory of your time with Aoi in the bathroom of your parents’ house filling your mind as you picked up the cum stained panties and put them in the laundry basket.

You entered the shower letting the water run over your body. After your shower you put your pajamas on and sent a goodnight text to Todo setting up the time for meeting at the cafe tomorrow. The next morning you woke up to an empty house, you let out a sigh of relief not wanting to deal with Declan after the stunt he pulled last night.

Your day at work went fairly quickly then it was the end of your workday. Inputting the address Todo gave you into the GPS you realized the drive was going to be pretty short. Once you found parking you walked into the cafe, the little bell on the door chiming with the movement. You looked around and saw Todo sitting at a corner side table, isolated from most of the crowd.

That’s when you started the arrangement. He was fine with being the sideman for now until he could properly have you to himself. Little dates and mind blowing sex filled your lives for the next four months.

~Four Months Later~

Todo was sitting at the table that basically became the unofficially assigned table for you both as he heard the chime to the door. His head shot up expecting you to come through the doorway. It was just an elderly couple. He checked his phone again, checking for any new messages from you and nothing. Just the last message that read: “I’ll see you soon my love”.

Today was the day you would find out if you got the promotion. With the promotion you would get a huge increase in your salary and a $2,000 advance once it was official. $2,000 was the amount you needed to finally afford the divorce lawyer.

Ten minutes passed and Todo ordered another drink for himself. To say he was nervous for you would be an understatement. He was fidgeting like crazy. He received the drink and sat back down at the table. The door chimed again and he looked up to finally see you.

You waved at him and gave him a small smile. Worry filled him and he was afraid to ask you how everything went.

“There’s no way she didn’t get the promotion. She has the best relationship with her boss and she works so hard.” He thought to himself.

You greeted him with a kiss on his head and sat down. He stood silent watching you.

“So I should tell you about what happened at work right Aoi?”

“You don’t have to honey, it’s fine.”

A smile graced your face, a genuine smile, the only type of smile that you shared with Todo since he filled you with genuine happiness.

“I got the promotion.”

Todo sat there in shock.

“What? What did you just say?”

“I got the promotion. I just came back from meeting the divorce lawyer to fill out necessary paperwork, that’s why I came so late.”

He got up from his seat and lifted you up into his arms.

“I’m so happy. I could yell from the rooftops.”

So he did the next best thing, he yelled about your promotion to the entire cafe. The people inside applauded you and gave you words of encouragement. The elderly man approached the both of you after Todo put you down.

“Congratulations to you young lady. This young man seems to be extremely proud of you. I didn’t mean to interrupt the celebration but it’s just that the both of you remind both my wife and I of us when we were younger. While we met under unconventional circumstances we have spent the past 30 years together. I wish you both a happy, healthy relationship.”

You both thanked the old man and watched him walk back to his wife.

“Do you think we’ll be like them one day Aoi?”

He pulled you close to him.

“I don’t think we will, I have a feeling I know we will. Now let’s go pick up your things and bring you back to my place to properly celebrate.”

He drove you to your house and walked with you inside to pack your clothes. In the midst of packing things you both heard the front door slam shut, meaning one thing: Declan was home.

“Care to explain the car in front Y/N? I know you don’t have enough money to afford a new one.”

You sighed and continued packing with Todo.

“I was asking you a fucking question -- oh who’s this? Why are you packing? Oh I get it now, finally got a new guy to deal with your shit? Good luck buddy--”

Before Declan could get another sentence out Todo walked over and shoved him against the wall.

“Don’t you ever speak to Y/N like that again asshole. For your information, she’s leaving you and coming with me. A guy who actually loves her.”

Declan stood there shocked that someone stood up to him. Once you zipped up your bag Todo left Declan to help you. Todo walked behind you with your bag in his hand. You turned one last time to Declan.

“Oh by the way I’ve been having sex with Aoi for the last four months and the first time was at the anniversary party. The reason I was limping was because of him not because of my heels. And you’ll be getting my divorce papers soon, go fuck yourself Declan.”

You walked with Todo to his car and he drove you back to the cafe so you could bring your car to his place. Once you entered through the front door he was on top of you. Placing sloppy kisses all over your lips and neck.

“You looked so fucking sexy there Y/N.”

He picked you up and brought you to his bedroom while you were peppering kisses along his neck. He put you on the bed and started stripping, you followed suit until you were left in your bra and panties and he was left in his boxers.

He pushed you down on the bed and crawled over you. Placing kisses down your body, removing your bra once he got to your chest and removing your panties once he got to your hips. Not one inch of your body was left untouched by his lips except your pussy. The place you needed him most.

“Aoi please.”

“Please what baby? Tell me what you want.”

“Need you—your mouth on my pussy please.”

He wasted no time. He licked from your leaking entrance to your engorged clit. Making you throw your head back.

“I don’t know how but you taste better every time. I’m fucking addicted to how you taste.”

He dove back in, wrapping his lips around your clit and using a finger to tease your entrance. He was alternating between light sucks and harsh sucks making you buck your hips against his mouth.

“Aoi please fuck me. Wanna cum on your cock please.”

He gave your clit one last suck and took the finger he used to circle your entrance and put it in your mouth. The feeling of your tongue swirling around his finger made him even harder if that was possible. He stood up and took off his boxers, throwing them to a random area in the room.

He spit on his hand and pumped himself a few times as he made his way back on the bed.

“Are you ready my love?”

You spoke breathlessly “yes Aoi, please.”

He aligned himself and entered you slowly, going inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you. A moan leaving both of your lips.

“And correction my love, I don’t fuck you” you furrowed your brows but that expression quickly changed when he pulled himself back until only the head of his cock was inside you and he bottomed out again in a swift movement, “I make love to you.”

He leaned down placing his forearms on either side of your head slotting his lips against yours. His thrusts slowly increase in speed. He breaks the kiss to praise you.

“My beautiful girl is so talented. You look so gorgeous right now. So fucking beautiful, I love you Y/N. I love you so much.”

“Aoi, feels s’good. Please I’m gonna cum soon. You fill me so good, like you were made for me.”

You wrap your legs around his waist and he slides his hand down between the two of you to rub circles around your clit. Your moans start increasing in pitch signaling that you’re going to cum. You bring your hands to his back and rake your nails down, digging into his skin, sure to leave marks. His ruts increased in speed bringing you to your orgasm.

“Fuck baby you’re clenching my cock so tight. I’m gonna cum so deep in your pussy baby. I’m gonna fill you up every single day because now you are mine.”

He emphasized each word with a hard thrust. He buries his face in the crook of your neck. Once he cums he sinks his teeth in trying to conceal the guttural moan that leaves his mouth. Coming down from his high he lifts his head up.

“I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to—”

“There’s no need to apologize Aoi, I’m sorry about the scratches on your back.”

“Don’t apologize pretty girl, with how often we’re going to be making love I’ll get used to it.”

He slowly pulled out and you felt the cum leak out of you. He picked you up and carried you bridal style to the shower. Let’s just say both of you were lucky that the neighbors were gone for the night.

~1 year later~

The both of you have been together for a year and four months. Todo was by your side the entire time throughout the divorce preceding. Comforting you and supporting you the entire time. Once your divorce was finalized your relationship received an official title.

Both of you were extremely happy but there was the voice in the back of Todo’s head that gave him doubts. When he went to go engagement ring shopping with Valerie the voice was there.

As he picked out the perfect ring for you the voice was there. His head was filled with doubts. Of course he loved you, he loved you more than anyone or anything in the world. He knew you loved him. His love for you was immortal, unconditional but he wasn’t so sure if it was the same for you.

That voice in his head hammering doubts over and over again it made him nervous. He started to wonder if he should bring the ring back. If he should change his mind. It was that voice.

“What if she gets tired of you like her husband did with her? What if she finds someone better than you? What if she doesn’t love you as much as you love her? Could you handle the heartbreak Aoi? Could you?”

He started getting distant from you, less kisses in the morning, leaving without saying goodbye, barely initiating sex, it made you worried. What if he’s getting tired of you like Declan? You texted him wanting to meet at the cafe after work. He just sent back a simple “okay”.

Reading it made you even more nervous than before. When you were done with work you drove as slow as you possibly could to the nearby parking lot. You opened the door to the cafe and once you looked around you saw Todo there, fidgeting.

“Is he going to end things with me? We were supposed to move to the new house next week.” You wondered to yourself, you both had so many plans for the future but the future is uncertain.

You sat down and it was silent. He nudged your drink over to you and that was the most interaction you got from him since you got there. It killed you to not talk to him and it was killing him too.

“Y/N, I’m scared.”

You looked into his eyes and saw the fear within them. But what could he possibly be scared about?

“Aoi, what’s wrong? What’s scaring you?”

“What if you get tired of me? What if you meet someone better than me? What if—”

“Aoi. Stop that please” your voice started shaking, it broke your heart to see the man you love being plagued with such fears.

“Aoi, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. You’re my love. You’re my soulmate. You make me happier than anyone in this world. You brighten up my day, the small things you do make me fall even more in love with you.”

You got up and bent down to hug him. You pulled back holding his face in your hands.

“Aoi I will never get tired of you. I let you leave me once and I never plan on doing it ever again. I love you Aoi Todo, I will love you until my heart stops beating and I will love you long after that. In every life I will look for you to recreate this love over and over again. If I had to go back in time I would go through this all over again just to be right here with you.”

Tears were falling down both of your faces by the time you stopped speaking. You wiped his tears away and he lifted his hands to wipe yours away. He pulled your face closer to his and kissed you.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so so sorry.”

He muttered apologies against your lips and when you both pulled away it was his turn to speak. You sat back down holding his hands above the table.

“I just got scared Y/N. I love you so much and I just can’t imagine my life without you. I look forward to the future with you, I want you by my side through every single endeavor. You’re my everything. You’re the sun that brightens my day. You’re the stars that shine through my night sky. You’re the air that I breathe. I love you.”

You stood up and pulled him along with you as you both walked out of the cafe. You drove the both of you home and once you entered you led him to the bedroom. Once you entered you undid his work shirt and pants stripping him to his underwear. You led him to the bed and sat him down.

“I never want you to question my love for you ever again.”

You kissed him and placed kisses down his body. Little nibbles along his pecs, a flick of your tongue along his nipples, slow sensual kisses until you reached the waistband of his boxers. You tugged at the waistband and he lifted his hips to help you properly take them off.

His cock slapped against his abdomen. You took it in your hand and gave it a few gentle strokes. You placed featherlight kisses from the head of his cock to the base. You took his head into your mouth swirling your tongue around it and letting it go with a pop.

You took your hand and spit on it using it to lube his cock for you and you started to take more of him into your mouth. His moans and groans filling the room along with the sounds of you gagging yourself on his cock.

When you popped up for air looking at him he could swear he just saw a goddess in front of him. Even with your saliva and tears coating your face he has never seen anyone more beautiful than you. Even Aphrodite herself could not even come close to your beauty.

You got up and stripped off your clothing. You pushed him back gently to lay on the bed as you straddled him aligning his cock with your pussy. You sunk yourself down onto him, he tossed his head back into the bed feeling your warm slick walls welcome him in.

You started moving up and down slowly before gaining a rhythm bouncing on his cock. You moved your upper body close to his grabbing his face and making eye contact.

“I love you—ah fuck—Aoi. I love you so much. You fuck me so good. You are so handsome. Thank you for loving me.”

You felt his arms reach around your waist as planted his feet on the ground to pound into you. Once he started jackhammering into you repeatedly hitting your g-spot you felt yourself cumming around him over and over again.

He used this position to pull as many orgasms as he could from you until he had his own and with how tight you were around him it would be extremely soon. You felt his cock twitch inside you.

“Please cum inside me Aoi, please please please. I need you to fill me up please I need your cum.”

He pulled you down and his hips lifted bottoming out inside you, filling you with his cum. You let your full weight go onto him as you were catching your breath. Hard breaths filled the room. You looked at him and kissed him again.

“I love you Aoi.”

“I love you more Y/N.”

The following week you both moved into your forever home. Todo made dinner and ordered your favorite dessert to celebrate the move. It was also the day that he was going to propose. He knew how much you hated public proposals and receiving unnecessary attention so why not do it at home?

When you were doing the dishes making small conversation on how you saw a documentary about female serial killers he got the ring and went on one knee.

“So all of her victims were just random men who had green eyes, isn’t that—”

“Y/N.”

You turned around and dropped the sponge in your hand. Your jaw drops at the sight of the man you love and the most beautiful ring you have ever seen.

“Y/N, you have made me the happiest man the past year and four months. Time with you has been amazing. You make me feel like I have been floating on air and I never want to come down. I love you so much. Will you continue this journey of life with me, as my wife?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

You bent down to kiss him and he slipped the ring on your left finger. A few seconds later Valerie called, already aware of what Todo was planning to do. You set the date of the wedding six months from the day of the proposal.

The wedding was small and filled with only close friends and family. It was the happiest day of your life and everyone preferred Todo over your ex husband, even your father, who never liked any of your boyfriends.

“I like this guy a lot Y/N, I mean I’ve always liked him.”

“Dad you threatened to hunt him down when we first started dating in high school.”

“Oh honey it’s just dad stuff but that was a promise and it still stands.”

“Dad! He’s not like that, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world and like I’m a precious gem.”

You both looked over at Todo sharing a dance with your mom and when he looked at you, you could see your future in them. Wherever he would go you would be there beside him as his wife.

“this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.” Todo leaned forward and kissed you holding you in his arms. 

“I never thought that one person could make me feel so loved and make me feel so much love for them Y/N.”

Now married life was doing the both of you well. Nothing could tear the both of you apart. Not even the news on your one year anniversary that you both were going to have your first child. If Todo felt like he was on cloud nine before then holding your beautiful, healthy son in his arms made him feel he was in seventh heaven. 

A/N pt2: thank you all for reading this, I’m really excited about how this work turned out I hope you all enjoyed it. This is by far my longest fic so I really appreciate you reading it through. I have much more on the way, if you have any requests my ask is open! Again thank you so much for reading I appreciate you all! — D <3

[lonelyreputation]

Trouble in Canada

a/n: hey hi hello!! tis been a while :’) but I'm back bc quarantine got me feeling nostalgic of writing! My computer crashed in September 2019 and all of my writing was no more :( but miraculously, TiC was the only writing saved to my cloud and it only felt fitting to repost it with some ~minor tweaks!  Whether you read TiC when it first came out a few years ago, or it’s your first time, I hope you enjoy :) Hoping everyone is staying happy, healthy, and sane during this time!! Happy reading!! Come chat!! It’s been a while!!

WORD COUNT: 4,632 | ANGST | PART 2

“I’ll see you at the next session?”

            You picked your head up from rummaging in your bag and smiled at Ethan, the cooking class instructor, “My husband should be back in town, but I’ll see.”

           Ethan nodded his head steadily.  He held your gaze for a few moments, but after a while of looking at each other, you diverted your gaze down towards the wooden table.  Slowly, you saw his tapping fingers inch closer to your hand that rested on the table.

           Quickly, you moved your hand, and placed your engagement and wedding ring back on your ring finger.  You didn’t like cooking with your rings on, in fear that they could fall down the drain, “Uh,” you cleared your throat, “thanks for the lesson, see you later.”

           He lifted his head up from staring at your left hand with sad eyes, “See you next week, Mrs. Mendes.”  The last part was said with a hint of distaste that he didn’t care to hide.

           As fast as you could, you scurried out the door and saw your friend, Jessie, waiting for you outside.  She saw your flustered expression and smirked, “Looks like the teacher has a crush on the student.” 

           You rolled your eyes, “Married,” You held up your left hand and showed off the rings that you proudly wore every day out of love to your husband.  Jessie let out a small laugh as the two of you walked down the streets of Toronto.  

Since Shawn had left for tour about three months ago, Jessie stepped up her best friend role by keeping you occupied whenever Shawn was away.  Out of the three months he’d been touring, Shawn had been home for four days.  It got lonely around the house with no one there, especially since this was the first time Shawn was away for a substantial amount of time since you had been married.

You missed rolling over in bed and reaching a hand out to lay on your husband’s chest when you were both too lazy to get up.  You missed playfully kicking his feet underneath the table during dinner, even when it was just you two in your apartment.  And most importantly, you missed it when he would come back with coffees and bakery items from the coffee shop down the street from his gym early in the mornings.

To fill up the gaping holes of the time you normally spent with Shawn, Jessie suggested that the two of you take cooking lessons at a place in down town Toronto.  You thought it was a wonderful idea, seeing as you couldn’t even cook pasta correctly, and Shawn got a kick out of the idea of you being in a kitchen setting.  

A little bell dinged over your head when you opened the door to a coffee shop that was a block down from where you and Jessie took your kitchen lessons. The two of you stood in line to order your drinks in silence.  Once it was your turn to order, you asked for an iced latte, even though it was February and snow was on the ground.  After Jessie ordered her decaf coffee, the two of you found a seat by the window.

“Ethan knows you’re married, right?”

You nodded your head as you crossed your right leg over your left, “Called me Mrs. Mendes as I left today after he tried to make a move.”

Jessie scrunched her nose up, “Like, I can see the appeal to having a little crush on someone who’s married––they’re unattainable in a sense––but dude,” Jessie paused her words when a server brought your drinks over to the table, “Keep it to yourself and don’t be a home wrecker.”

You took a sip of your cold drink and stifled a laugh, “I honestly think he doesn’t care, and it kinda freaks me out?”  Your mind couldn’t properly put together why Ethan would try anything out on a married woman, “Like when he was trying to show me the correct way to cut whatever it was and he came around from behind—almost like the boy trying to teach the girl how to swing a golf club,”  Jessie nodded, “I just feel weird.”

Peering over her coffee cup Jessie’s eyes were curious, “Do you want to get a different teacher?” 

You shook your head, “I’m sure it’ll calm down.”

It was a Tuesday night, and instead of it being spent in your bed reading a good book, you were pacing your room on the phone with your husband.  You understood that the life he led was full of uncertainty and things popping up last minute, and even after years of dealing with it, the feeling of being let down grew more and more familiar.

“Andrew won’t let you do it earlier?” You crossed your arms as you paced around the bedroom.  

You heard Shawn sigh on the other end, “I already asked.”

 Shawn was currently in Cape Town, South Africa, so while you were ending your day, he was just beginning his.  He was supposed to come home Thursday for five days and then get back on the road.   But now it seemed as though the plans had changed. Shawn was to be in Cape Town for an extra two days.  So, with the added days on to his schedule, and the travel days, he would essentially not be home at all.  

 “Should you even bother coming home?” You questioned him as you went over to the bay area window of your apartment.  The twinkling lights of the city and the sound of traffic below made the lonely nights bearable, “I know you don’t do well with traveling, and I don’t want to disrupt your tour schedule––“

“Y/n,” Shawn spoke assertively into the phone, “You’re my wife, of course I still want to come home to you.”

Even with no one around, you felt yourself trying to hide the blush that was making its way onto your cheeks, “I don’t want you to work yourself too hard––“

“You’re sounding like you don’t want me to come home,” There was a pause before Shawn spoke hesitantly into the phone, “Is something going on?”

Your eyes widened and you felt your previous warmth shift into nerves in your stomach. You weren’t hiding anything from him, but your mind drifted over to Ethan and how odd he’d been acting lately, his confidence growing more and more with each class. Of course you had no further interaction with him other than him teaching you how to cook, but you didn’t want Shawn to find out that the teacher had been flirting with you.

“Of course I want you home,” You looked down at your left hand and twirled your engagement ring as you smiled and softly whispered, “I miss you.” 

“I miss you too,” Shawn instantly replied back with a sigh.  It was silent for a moment until you heard his voice pipe up, “Are you sure I don’t need to worry about anything?”

Your mind drifted to thinking that it might be in your best interest to inform your husband about the handsy cooking instructor.  Surely he would understand that it made you uncomfortable and that you didn’t reciprocate any of the feelings.  It seemed trivial to explain everything to him, he knew you loved him, you took a vow to love Shawn for the rest of your life. 

With the little debate you had in your head, you came to the conclusion that it wasn’t important to tell him.  The class would be over soon and you wouldn’t have to worry about Ethan again.  And you knew that Shawn trusted you with his life, so he would know that nothing would come of it, so you shook your head, “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m your husband,” Shawn let out a small laugh, “It’s my job.”  You let out a small laugh as well, but your thoughts kept drifting back to the not so subtle advances Ethan has tried on you. They made you uncomfortable, and maybe it was in your bet interest to confided in your husband, but just as you briefly opened your mouth, Shawn spoke up, “I have to go, but text me throughout the day?  I’m not sure when I’ll be able to pick up the phone and actually talk.”

“Yeah,” You answered him dismally, “I can do that.”

“I love you.” Shawn’s words were spoken in unwavering confidence into the phone.

With a stinging feeling pricking behind your eyes, you let out a breathy laugh to cover up your heavy heart of not being able to see your husband as soon as you thought, “I love you too.”

You hung up the phone and let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in.  Of course supporting Shawn was something you would do no matter what, but with him constantly being away, it was beginning to take a toll on you.  You thought that it would be better once you got married, but that wasn’t the case.

Then thoughts that never once crossed your mind in all of the years you and Shawn had been together; what would it be like to be with someone, to have dated or be married to, that wasn’t him?  To have someone who wasn’t constantly traveling the world. What would it be like to be married to someone who spent more time with their wife than a tour bus?

––––

 Trouble in Canada?

            Newlyweds Shawn and Y/n Mendes are no stranger to the media, especially when it comes with rumors circulating their marriage.  Just a few months shy of their first wedding anniversary, the couple has been caught in the middle of a few fiascos.

           If we’re being quite honest with ourselves, keeping up with the Kardashians is easier than these two.

           Shawn is currently on his world tour and about to start the European leg. Earlier in the week, Shawn was supposed to be traveling home to spend a short break with the Misses before the European part of his tour officially kicked off.  But according to a source close to Mr. Mendes, he had to stay in Cape Town, South Africa for a few more days.

           “He tried everything he could to get out of staying,” The source close to Shawn said. “He misses Y/n, but even with the amount of times they call each other or FaceTime in a day, it’s not the same as talking to each other face to face.”

           But as Shawn slips into a land of everlasting bliss between he and his wife, it looks like Y/n has been spending her time with someone else as of late. Below, pictures of Y/n and a mystery man have appeared over the course of a few weeks, starting just after Shawn left home.

           “There’s been a noticeable change in him,” the source said, who has requested to remain anonymous, added in, “Everyone around him knows how much he loves his wife, so when he saw pictures of her with another man in that room, it really hit him.”

           Since pictures emerged of Y/n and the mystery man, people have commented that Shawn has been distant and more quiet than usual.  

“It’s another reason why he wants to get back to Toronto so bad, he wants to settle things with Y/n.  He’s tried to convince himself that it’s just a misunderstanding, but everyone around him knows how it’s already going to play out–and it’s not going to end well.  It seems like he’s catching on.  Those pictures leave no room for questioning what’s going on between his wife and someone that isn’t him.” 

           Have Shawn and Y/n Mendes followed in the steps of many other famous couples, and not been able to handle their marriage in the spot light?  We were banking on the couple hitting the five-year marriage mark before anything like this happened.  

 What do you all think? Leave your comments in the section below.

––––

           “Hey, Shawn,” You sighed into the phone.  It was the fourth time he had missed your call, “It’s uh––me, again.”  Pacing around your room, you didn’t know what was going on with him that made him miss your calls multiple times.  Usually, he wouldn’t ever miss one, and if he did, he would call you back ten minutes later profusely apologizing.

  You had enough with pacing around your room, so you took a seat at the edge of your bed.  It didn’t stop the nerves though as your leg began to bounce, “I’m just calling to check up, it’s uh,” You looked over at the clock on your wall, “It’s almost midnight here, and I don’t know where you are,” Your voice dwindled off at the end as you held back a small cry, “I hope you’re having a great day, or that you’re getting a good rest because you work yourself too hard doing what you love,” You tried to lighten your own mood by letting out a laugh, “Just call me back, I love you and can’t wait to see you when you get home.”

           Quickly, you hung up the phone and dropped your head to rest between your knees.  Your whole body felt off, there was a reason why Shawn wasn’t calling you back and you couldn’t think of anything.  The thought of him purposefully ignoring you felt like being stabbed in the chest with the knife twisting.  Your head started to pound, and you couldn’t help but start to chew the inside of your lip.  

           You made your way up to your pillows on the bed and slowly made your way under the covers.  You brought the white sheets up to where they were tucked under your chin and curled up.  With a constant sharp pounding in your head, and uneven breathing, you realized that you had begun to cry without realizing it until you sat up and saw tear stains on the pillow.  You brought both hands up to your eyes to wipe away the tears, but it was useless.

Your husband was dodging your calls.  You knew he had been on his phone because he seemed to be constantly Tweeting more than usual.  So he had to have seen your calls.  Then the thought struck you that this was the first time you didn’t know where in the world your husband was. 

––––

           “I haven’t heard from him in a few days,” You spoke to Jessie as the two of you walked into the building for your weekly cooking class, “Not even a––“

           “Y/n,” You were cut off when you heard a familiar voice call your name, you cringed a bit, and turned to the right to see Ethan, “Thought you weren’t going to make it in for this lesson?” 

           You cleared your throat, “Uh, yeah, I wasn’t supposed to because my hus–––“

           “I’m glad you could join,” He cut you off, with a gleaming smile, before the word husband could make its past your lips. The way he was looking at you made you slightly uncomfortable so you awkwardly smiled and looked the other direction without a reply.

           With a nod of your head, you gave Jessie an odd look that she returned with a shrug.  The two of you made your way over to a little a cooking station and placed your bags under the table.  Jessie and you chatted as other people strolled into the class area and set up in their usual position as Ethan made small talk with the people around him.

           Once the time came to start the class, Ethan clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention, “We’ll be learning how to make a steak dinner,” He looked over and into your eyes, “For two.” 

           Jessie leaned over to you and whispered, “I think I threw up a little.”  You stifled a laugh because you shared the same reaction.  

           First, you and Jessie both successfully made the creamy scalloped potatoes and the little side Caesar salad to go along with the steak. You then seasoned the steak, put the steak to bake in the oven for a few minutes, and then turned on the gas burner on the stove.  You put canola oil in the pan, butter, garlic, rosemary and thyme as you took the steak out of the oven.  As you pulled the oven pan out, you bumped into someone.  

           “Oh, I’m sorry––“

            “You’re fine,” Ethan’s voice filled the air. You scrunched your nose up as he took a step closer to you from behind and, along with your hand, he took hold of the oven pan and settled it on the counter top.  Jessie side glanced over as she cooked her steak, and all you could do was widen your eyes and beg for help.

            Ethan then took a pair of tongs and placed the steak in the sizzling pan, “So, now what you do––“

           “I can help her cooking the steak,” Jessie cut him off.  She sensed how uncomfortable you were, and it even made her feel weird seeing how close Ethan pressed himself up against you.  She didn’t like how he was treating you and thought the behavior was inappropriate. 

           Ethan shook his head, “I’ve got it.  I should help my students out.”

           You cleared your throat, “I can handle it, someone else may need your help––” 

           “What am I getting paid to do if I don’t help you out?” Ethan raised an eyebrow. 

           But you weren’t backing down easily.  He’d made other advances on you during other lessons and this was your time to put your foot down, “I’m fine––“

            “Mrs. Mendes––“

           “Yes, Mrs. Mendes,” You stumbled over your words and began to talk faster than the speed of light.  Whenever you got extremely nervous, you always seemed to talk with your hands, “That’s my name, the one and only, and the prefix indicates that I’m married––“

           It seemed like Ethan didn’t like you mentioning how you were married and very much not looking for a relationship.  His eyes narrowed at yours and he took hold of your wrists.  His grip was too strong for your liking, and you looked up at him in shock.  The glowering possessiveness in his eyes frightened you.

  Ethan gripped your wrists tighter, “Moving your hands and having them fly around while other people are cooking isn’t safe––“

           “Hey,” Jessie turned off her stove, “You probably shouldn’t touch her––“

           You didn’t let Jessie finish her sentence before you ripped your wrists out from his hold.  Part of you was shocked that a teacher would take hold of his student in such a rough manner, and the other half of your brain couldn’t process what was happening because with pulling your wrist back, you brought your elbow down and it collided with the handle of the searing pan that the steak was cooking in. 

           You felt the sting of hot oils run down your back, and in response, you jumped forward, and Ethan was the person in front of you who caught you.  He looked at you with concern in his eyes, “Don’t move, you could be burned––“

           “Stop!”  Your voice was high and scratchy as you raised your voice at him.  It was then you realized that everyone had stopped their cooking and turned their attention toward the two of you.  Embarrassment flooded your whole body.   And you felt yourself heat up in a mix of anger, embarrassment, and fear.  You grabbed your bag from under the table and rushed to put your coat on, not wanting anyone outside of the cooking studio to see the oil stains on you.

           “Y/n–” 

           You didn’t want to make any more of a scene, so while biting the inside of your lip to keep yourself from crying, you shook your head, “Thank you for a wonderful lesson today, but I don’t think I’ll be returning ever again.”

           And before he could reply, or try and put his hands on you again, you swiftly turned on your heel and sped walked out of the kitchen studio.

––––

           Sitting at the little breakfast nook in your apartment with a cup of tea would be more relaxing if your husband hadn’t blatantly been ignoring you for a few days.  You knew he was coming home today, but you were clueless as to where he was flying from or what time his flight was getting in.

           You were sipping on your tea, watching the Toronto traffic from your window, when your phone buzzed.  You looked down and saw Shawn’s name popped up.  You had to look at it again because after all the voicemails you left him, his first contact to you was a text message. 

            Just landed in Toronto.

           You stared at the blue text bubble in confusion.  Every time he was about to get on a plane, he would always text you, no matter what time it was.  He knew that you liked to know his travel schedule.  But this was the first time he hadn’t told you his travel information.  It made your stomach churn because now you definitely knew that something was wrong.

           So you sent him a text back; Do you want me to pick you up? 

           Almost instantly, he replied, No. 

           Your heart sank just a little when you read his message.  And then you started to feel it break piece by piece as you read the one word, one syllable, answer that held more negative. emotion than it should have.  With tears threatening to fall from your eyes at any time, you felt your phone buzz once more with a text from him; Andrew is driving me back. 

           You nodded to yourself as you typed back a simple; Ok.

           Neither one of you said how excited you were to see one another.  Which was odd because you and Shawn would always count down the days until you could see each other again, but this time, the two of you hadn’t talked in what seemed like forever.

           With the stress about not knowing what was wrong with Shawn and what happened yesterday at the cooking class, your heart was racing and you felt jittery until you saw a familiar car pull up to the side walk down below.  You peered out the window and saw your husband for the first time in a few months. Even though there were tons of unsettled questions between the two of you, you still felt your heart pick up speed at the sight of him like it had on your first date.

           He pulled out a little over the shoulder bag from inside the car and then you saw Andrew come around with a larger suitcase.  You saw the two of them exchange some words, but since you were so high up and looking down at them through the window, you couldn’t hear what either of them were saying.

           But a few moments later, Andrew and Shawn hugged, and then Shawn walked towards the building and Andrew got into his car and drove away.  Shawn didn’t even send you a text that he was close to your apartment, like he would normally do so you would be waiting in the lobby to greet him.  It looked like he didn’t want you to greet him in the lobby.  Or see you at all.

           He didn’t want you––his wife––he one who promised to love him forever no matter what, to be the first person to greet him when he came back from a long month or so from traveling.  Your daunting thoughts kept themselves on a loop in your mind that you didn’t even hear the door open.

           It was the sound of a suitcase rolling and a bag dropping on the floor that made you look up from the window.  For the first time in months, your husband was standing right in front of you and you didn’t have the need to run up and hug him.  Seeing him made your blood boil because of how unreliable he had been recently.

            You sat in the little nook and took a sip of your tea, “Have a nice flight?”  You kept your voice monotone.  You didn’t want him to know that your past few nights had been hell with him ignoring you, and that you were getting no sleep, imagining what your reunion would be like after radio silence from him.  And here you were, after every scenario you created in your mind, it did not turn out how you thought. 

His hair was disheveled, t-shirt wrinkled in every place, and his left sock was raised higher than the left.  It looked like he had the same problem as you––not being able to sleep for the past few days.  All you wanted to do was reach out to him and feel his arms wrap tight around you.  You missed his familiar smell, the one that his pillow still smelled like, even after countless washes.  You slept on that pillow every night he had been on tour.  

           In your mind, you imagined Shawn either apologizing for his silence, or having his face turn red as he yelled at you for something you had no idea about.  But it wasn’t either of those options.  It was just like how he had been treating you for the past few days; silence.

           His eyes held no emotion, the exhaustion evident in his face.  Shawn was silent, something that was worse than blowing up at you.  You imagined anything but him being mute about his feelings because Shawn was always a vocal person.  

It was the most deafening silence you had ever heard.

           You were waiting for a response to your seemingly innocent question.  But as he didn’t respond, you began searching for any facial clues as to any answer you could possibly find.  You were growing frustrated.  His face was kept with a neutral look; no creases in the eyebrows and not a scrunch of distaste with his nose.   

           Then you began to search for any other signs that would give away his answer.  He wasn’t tapping his foot, he wasn’t swaying from side to side, and he wasn’t twiddling his hands out of nervousness.

           His hands. 

           It was tiny, a detail that wouldn’t be caught by many. But with being married to a man for almost a year, you began to notice every little thing about them.  There were certain things that you knew Shawn would always keep on him, and as a married man, you knew he always wore his wedding band.  But as you looked at his left hand, you noticed that there was a small sliver of his skin that was lighter shade than the rest.

           His ring finger.

           You looked down at your left hand, your engagement and wedding ring were in their place, and you quickly looked back at Shawn’s left hand to see if your mind had been playing tricks on you.

           Shawn wasn’t wearing his ring, the symbol of marriage that brought two people, who loved each other more than life itself, together.

            Your heart stopped and you felt as if you were about to throw up at any minute, a feeling of doom weighed down your chest with every moment of silence passing.  Biting the inside of your lip, you opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.  The silence that surrounded the two of you stole your voice.  You looked up at him, wanting to ask him why he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring, but with silence stealing your voice, he gave it to Shawn who spoke without hesitation in his voice.

           “We need to talk.”

[soooldout]

201027 Sungyeol is Back Vlive with Sunggyu

He started the show with a military style greeting, and then continued with 'hello everyone, I'm Infinite's Sungyeol!'

He said that it was awkward for him to host the show alone, so he invited a special guest…Infinite's Sunggyu!

SG: *greets*

SY: whoaaa an idol an idol

He said that it was awkward when he was in the military, when he and his military fellows watched TV together and saw Sunggyu wishing the Infinite members who were in the military strength “I saw someone who I usually saw on a daily basis on TV! I didn't know what to feel. You knew how we feel and yet you said something like that jokingly”

SG: I really meant to give you strength though, not to tease you!

SG: How do you feel now

Sungyeol said he got discharged from military and society in general was awkward for him …he's still trying to get used to being a part of society (and not 'isolated' when he's in the military) He was doing whatever he was told and now after so long he can do whatever he wants

SG: Do you want me to order you around then? (afkljdsg;h)

Sungyeol said that he regretted that he didn’t follow Sunggyu when he enlisted. He thought that it would’ve been much better to go through the hardship with Sunggyu by his side

Sunggyu said he had recommended to all members to go enlist together but either Woohyun/Sungyeol said "Hyung, just go first~ we'll go later"

They argued a bit about the above and Sungyeol said, you want us to fight in front of the fans?

More bickering: They almost missed the vlive today coz Sungyeol was late to go to the hair salon, yeol is saying he ordered food and went to change and when he came back to the food he only found half of it…Sunggyu ate it and didn’t wait for him jaslkf;gs

Q: What is something you wanted to tell fans as soon as you get discharged?

SY: The fact that I cried..I found a side of me that I didn’t even know existed

Sungyeol said that he earned 7 minutes of phonecall after going through training for a month, and he called Sunggyu, his mom, CEO but no one picked up because it was an unknown number. He cried as he missed everyone so much. "I didn’t know that I was that much of a crybaby until then”

Sunggyu cried once, Woohyun cried a lot after enlisting too :(

Sunggyu’s finishing up the last performances of Kinky Boots and prepping for online concert.

They asked when is Halloween is then Sungyeol said Daeyeol asked him if it's ok for him to cosplay as Sungyeol for Halloween. Gyuyeol then said then Sungyeol can cosplay as Daeyeol for halloween, and sungyeol/'daeyeol' can 'join' golden child lmao

Q: 10 years ago after military you said you wanted to try trot, do you still have that thought now?

Sungyeol said he had that thought but the ceo turned it down. Sunggyu added that the ceo had his best interest in mind as trot may not be the best for his image. Sungyeol said he was ahead of his time because trot is the trend nowadays. Sunggyu agreed.

SY: if there's a chance I still wanna try (…….let him do what he wants please you haven’t learned your lesson yet ljy its been 10 yrs….)

Q: when did you miss your family the most?

SY: the moment I went in I missed everyone. not just my family.

SG: when did you miss/think of Sunggyu the most?

SY: The first day I was in the military!

He said pretty much every time Sunggyu did something, he thought 'did Sunggyu-hyung do this? did Sunggyu-hyung do that?'

Q: when in the military, when did you feel 'ah I’m part of Infinite'?

SY: basically said as soon as I entered. During the basic military training ceremony they even played Infinite songs, and everyone who saw me would do the naekkohaja gesture

Q: It would be good if you could do a solo fanmeet/album, when will that be?

SY: I would like that too, but I just finished military service (Sunggyu shot him saying that he could have started planning for this when he's still enlisted lmao and that he can do an online concert now)

Before enlisting Sungyeol said he'll try to be active on social media more frequently/longer, but he said he doesn’t know how to do it for a long time? Someone suggested in the comments to learn from Woohyun (yes please)

Sungyeol and Sungjong (or Woohyun? Not sure there are different translations for this part) lived in the same building. Sungyeol said Sungjong is so talkative these days, and he’s bored. He talked about how Sungjong suddenly came over to his place with coffee for him, ever since that day he's been going over to Sungyeol's place for meals almost everyday

Now that Sungyeol is discharged he was visiting his family and settling his own stuff. One day Sungjong asked him what he's doing, and that day Sungyeol happened to plan to visit his grandparents and sungjong went “OH REALLY? I WANNA GO TOO!”

Sungyeol thought, ok there's a familiar visitor his family would be glad to see him too. Turns out Sungjong was busily chatting nonstop during the entire 3 hour journey down (this is the cutest thing ever please)

Sungyeol is thankful that Sunggyu talked him out of enlisting in the navy

Q: did you count down to your discharge date?

SY: for these kind of things, time goes faster when you don’t keep thinking about it!

He also said that there were times even he doesn’t remember how many days he has left but when he searched his name you could see the "d-XXX" too

SG: Dongwoo’s discharge is on the 15th the same day as my online concert

SY: then we can do this together

SG: why me

SY: are you not Infinite?

SG: I am Infinite. I am Infinite’s leader!

SY: Then why don’t you want to do it

SG: Why are you making the decision alone!

gyuyeol just did a brief explanation/disclaimer that they may sound like they're quarrelling but it's basically just excited conversations because they haven’t hung out like this for a while 😊

SG: What does MBTI stand for?

SY: Mental Brain Tie/Tee Eye (lmaoo)

Sungyeol said he will do the test sometime.

*Sungyeol talking, Sunggyu reaches over to get food*

SY: excuse me I'm talking and you're eating??????

SG: Everyone we almost couldn’t make it for the live because Sungyeol was late! he left the shop at 6:30 and our live's at 7! He was eating too!

SY: I WAS NOT LATE that was my first meal! –

SY: and it’s been so long since I got to meet the fans so I wanted to do my hair nicely. And I didn’t even finish my food

Question about mint chocolate

Sungyeol doesn’t eat sweet stuff - chocolate/mint chocolate, cream etc. (for health reasons apparently)

Sungyeol talked about how well Sunggyu did in Kinky Boots

Q: to Sungyeol, musical <Return> is?

SY: a place where I can meet Sunggyu and it was an adventure for me and I met fans through it too

sg promoting <The Day> (his online concert) then said Sungyeol said he's gonna be present too so let's see whether he'll keep his promise

SY: of course. What shall we do when I’m there?

SG: ...let's have a meal?!?! (ok…lmao)

someone mentioned 'tell me 1st promise'

SY: do you remember?

SG: no. you're the one who said it

SY: ah was it the choochoo (train) one?

SG: you can do it (since you're the one who proposed it)

There was some chaos at this point with Sungyeol talking over him and Sunggyu said ‘ok Noisy’ kjlsgf;hgdkk

The following story was mentioned in the 10th anniversary live with Kim bros as well lmao he really won’t let this go:

There was a time when they went to a beach in Thailand and Sunggyu didn’t wanna go into the water because his condition was not good and he didn’t like water etc and Namu and Yeol went up and asked if he wanna go in but he said no. Namu left him alone but then Yeol went something like "LOL YEAH RIGHT" and threw Sunggyu into the water. And he lost his ring so he got really mad.

SG: I told you not to do it!

SY: You always say ‘no’…I thought you were lying and I was young and just wanted to do it

SG: Next time just listen to me

Q: What do you think about doing an exercising broadcast

SG: Yes, can you show your six pack…

SY: No, not to that extent

Q: what was the reason you became obsessed with working out?

SY: there wasn’t really a reason, simply because I did it regularly. e.g. regularly working out for a period of time then stopping, ~6 months later I was regularly working out again so I thought I might as well just make it a regular thing

SG: but what made you start?

*more bickering*

SY: it’s because you told me I have small shoulders

SY: Wow all we have done for an hour is fight

They talked about younger idols covering their songs and how amazed they were. They said thank you to everyone 💛

Q: Any fun incident from the military?

SG: The military is not fun as you guys think

SY: When I enlisted, the leader told the other soldiers not to pay attention to Sungyeol (As he is an idol and to not bother him) but that made him feel kind of lonely (aww)

Q: choose between going back to the military again or trainee days again?

SY: Wow. this is like asking to choose dad or mom

He chose trainee because he did his military really well so if he were to do it again he doesn’t know if he can do it as well as the first time. but he has lots of 'I could’ve done it better' moments during his trainee days so he'd rather do trainee period again and this time do it better

He said that when they were trainees, they were laying down on a rooftop watching the sky and saw fireworks. Apparently, there was Dream Concert happening nearby. He wondered if they would be able to perform at Dream Concert too someday (TT)

Q: Was there anything different about what you heard about the military and when you're actually there?

SY: the fact that I have to take care of myself more

Q: the thing you wanted to do the most in the military

SY said having a different exercise routine (bc you do the same thing everyday in military? idk)

sg: to Sungyeol, what is exercising?

SY: Something I have to do everyday

He said gyu turned him into a sinner on broadcast by saying that Sungyeol forced him to exercise (lmaooo)

Sungyeol's 'to-do' list:

- MBTI

- tell me 'choo-choo' win promise (YES FINALLY ITS BEEN 2.5 YRS)

- go on a trip

- do a dance from his musical audition

Sungyeol said when Sunggyu's enlistment had less than 100 days left, Sungyeol put some distance from Sunggyu because he was afraid if he was too close with gyu till he finished his military then he'd feel lonely when gyu discharged.

Then Sunggyu said "oh you're weaker than I expected"

 SY to SG: I wasn’t like you who had the thought of ‘when else will I be able to eat this much?’ In the military, I always kept in mind to manage myself, how to look even better when I get discharged

SG: but.. you ate chicken with mee?? (haha cuute)

SG: *reads out a question about Yeol performing as Freddie Mercury*

SY: *drinking water* *chokes* Someone took a video of that???

SG: Sungyeol prepared so hard for that performance when he doesn’t prepare that hard for our concerts..

Sungyeol wanted to do the men's health magazine photoshoot too he's sad he wasn't given that opportunity. (you can do it now…do everything now while Sunggyu has power)

Comment about how good he looks in his military uniform, and Sungyeol said, yes I know

Q: When do you miss the members most

SY: I saw Sunggyu and Woohyun quite a bit…the thing I miss most is the end of year fanmeeting and doing the New Year countdown together

They showed the cake that said ‘Let’s protect Inspirits now instead of the country’ and Sunggyu said to cheer for Sungyeol a lot

💛💛💛

Translations from yeolsprout, Lusneverland, naggyu, hoslastjuliet, jibeomiejjang on Twitter

[fmdjaewonarchive]

hi besties! i’m here with a q3 schedules post that has been a few hours in the making because i’m Stupid and have no braincells so this took a long ass time. below the cut i’ll detail most of what my muses are getting up to both with their groups and sprinkle in some relevant personal bits and pieces as well, personal schedules, character development and what not. this is a plot call for all my muses but yena and minah specifically could use a little more love, just throwing that out there! i also have a bunch of the base prompts still unfilled, might you be looking to do any of those you can find them here! to plot, please like this post, slide into my ims or hmu on d*sc*rd: huang renjun supremacy#5703

jaewon: 

okay first off july is jaewon month, his birthday is the 14th he will insist on being lowkey about it but tbh does that ever work out?

right after his birthday he’s holding his first ever solo concerts, on july 16th & 17th, anyone who is close friends with jaewon is most definitely invited and he will be very happy if they can make it because he’s both very nervous but very proud of it

july also has the dimensions company photoshoot, i’d love to do something there, mae him work with someone he doesn’t like or someone he’s not that familiar with possibly?

jaewon will be in an awful mood tho, just tryna vibe with unity and suddenly dimensions is like SIKE champion comeback BITCH

he will be bitching, he will be grumbling, he will be complaining

not to mention jaewon haaaaates 100, like, he was neutral enough about jopping (eventhough he still thinks ‘jumping and popping’ is STUPID) but 100 he absolutely hates as a song and he will make that everyone’s problem, anyone that spends time with it or even worse he runs into while promoting will not hear the end of it 

he will be a bit placated working on 90′s love but it won’t do much until champion schedules will truly come to an end

yuanjun: 

charm is mainly doing a lot of touring, especially in july/early august so he won’t be around much for that time but after he will return with souvenirs and big stories about his adventures in japan

i might elaborate some more on the charm tour but that will be in a bit, i’ll come back to that at a later time

after that there will be a lot of comeback work for semi;colon

he’s excited for home;run though, living his best theatre kid life

will be annoying everyone at the bc concert, would love to do something there, he will be bouncing all over the place probably

at the end of september charm will be at the hallyu dream concert like a Lot of artists, plenty of opportunity to have meetings there

and throughout the entire thing, all bc artists are workin on the documentary as well and as yuanjun is an annoying little social butterfly he might pop up in unexpected places while people are filming their things?

minah: 

oooooooh boy minah is busythis woman hasn’t had any sleep in god knows how long and that’s not about to change anytime soon

july and a part of august are filled with hurtlocker promotions and lipstick has a super super super busy festival season so if anyone finds themselves at one of those, odds are lipstick is there too

she doesn’t really care much for hurt locker but the reception is good and minah is very happy with that, she’s relieved to see lipstick still makes such a splash as a group

on top of all of that she’s preparing her own first full length album which she’s releasing on the heels of lipstick promotions, preparing for that is stressful, promoting for that is stressful but the album is super dear to her and she will be very proud that it’s out into the world

the bc concert also happens and honestly, she really likes their setlist (minus party) and she’s super excited to perform as lipgloss again, that’s been a while, she’ll be in a good mood there even if she is tired

filming the documentary will be a lot as minah is doing 50 things at once but at least she will be around the company building a Lot working on things

yena: 

gal.actic’s ten year anniversary happens and yena is just like... meh okay? honestly it’s kinda insane to her that gal.actic is still around and its not like she’s necessarily happy about the fact that they are

but hey it happens and gal.actic has some fanmeets which is a lil weird to yena, gal.actic doesn’t do a lot of concerts or fanmeets and it’s always a bit... odd for her to see how many fans they apparently have? 

at least the fanmeets ask very little performing on her part other than 5 songs (which tbh she all doesn’t want to perform with maybe the exception of a, also someone like u is kinda meh but she still doesn’t really care?)

for gal.actic related work the fanmeets will be kinda positive in yena’s book but don’t expect any overwhelming enthusiasm

the rest of the time she will go straaaaight back to complaining about the stupid festival performances, about the stupid comeback they’re preparing for, about stupid dimensions entertainment not just disbanding them already 

will be taking any excuses she can to sneak out of deepened choreo rehearsals, please enable her, or scold her, either one works

luckily her solo career isn’t exactly on a backburner either, she has some modeling going on, some photoshoots, some brand stuff, and if anyone asks how she’s doing or what she’s doing she’s more likely to bring those up than gal.actic

for the dimensions photoshoot the same applies as for jaewon, i’d love to use the opportunity to get her to interact with labelmates she hasn’t worked with at much, unlike jaewon tho she will actually be in a pretty good mood doing it, she loves photoshoots v much!

[rudylloyd]

take it easy if you can icon, I know it's easier said than done. you are cherished nd appreciated nd I hope things get better soon for you nd your gf, y'all seem like such peaches and it's a real shame to hear that you aren't doing too hot :( /gen

Okay so the basic rundown of what's going on so that. EVERYONE is kind of caught up bc admittedly I've been vague about stuff.

Jace lives in an area where hurricane ida hit. I wont be specifying the area. they're safe, they're so safe rn as far as I'm aware since he evacuated before the hurricane hit.

Jace went home on....tuesday, I believe, and theres no power, which in turn means no wifi, no electricity, the whole shebang. So far theyve jus been using her phone number to text me. However, because no electricity, no phone charger so texting is. very very limited.

I've been told that the expected time for their electricity and everything to start working is two weeks, which is. a long time for me and Jace bc weve spent almost 3 years talking to each other nonstop and for communication to jus suddenly get stopped, it's an adjustment period for me bc I've always had Jace to talk to about EVERYTHING, and it's an adjustment period for Jace bc I've been there for Jace all the time and that includes helping with stress and trying to help Jace with mental health problems.

I'm working on adjusting, I get a couple of check-in texts from her just so I know that they're okay. For the most part hes been okay. They cant shower but other than that, Jace is perfectly okay.

I'm really hoping that their power comes back on before the 29th of this month bc that's the 3 year anniversary of when I first met Jace and I wanna have a nice, relaxing day with my husband. They're my entire world and I dunno how I functioned without her for 14 years. I really do love Jace, there's a reason I've never made any posts about "if me and jace break up" blah blah blah. Jace was the first person to make me feel like I'm actually a human being with thoughts and feelings, rather than a robotic therapist. I owe so much to Jace for simply making me feel safe and its jus awful, the situation he's going through rn. All I can really hope is that things start to go back to normal-ish soon. Just enough that I can squeeze in some longer good night texts.

[randomoranges]

is this the fic i started last night and that i wanted to finish today bcs i go back to work tomorrow? no.

is this a random stupid idea that crept in my mind a few hrs ago? yes

is this really bizarre and silly? s’posed to be.

Edward’s out getting groceries. 

Money

April 2021

 “We need to talk,” Étienne says without preamble.

 Calvin, who’d been doing some light reading, looks up from his book to find his friend standing close by, serious look upon his face. He can’t read the other’s expression and can’t figure out what might have prompted this and for a moment, he wonders if he hasn’t done anything to cross Étienne.

 “Sure, have a seat,” He says, trying to sound casual, but has probably failed miserably at it.

 Étienne steps closer and just as he’s about ready to sit, he pulls out a small, but thick yellow envelope from seemingly nowhere and hands it over to him.

 “What’s this?” He dares to ask.

 Étienne still looks as serious as ever and Calvin wonders if it isn’t his last will and testament, or something of such importance.

 “It’s for Edward.” He says, enigmatic as always.

 Calvin opens the envelope and his eyes widen in surprise when he sees the content of it. It’s full of money. Lots of money. A really large amount of it.

 “I don’t understand.” Calvin honestly says, because he really doesn’t.

 Étienne sighs, annoyed. “I did some quick math. I looked up the average price of renting an apartment in this neighbourhood and calculated a third of the groceries for the months I was here. I added in a bit extra for gas money and whatnots.”

 Calvin would laugh, maybe nervously, but Étienne’s face is too serious for him to do that. He’s almost afraid of how Étienne would react.

 “Edward’s refused to let me pay. He refused again when I tried to suggest wiring him some money. But. It’s the principle of the mater. I didn’t come here to mooch off his good will. So, since I’m leaving soon, here’s the money.”

 It was true. Edward had refused point blank to have Étienne pay for anything. He’d said he was his guest, that he was more than pleased to have him over for however long he stayed and not to worry. It hadn’t sat well with Étienne and he’d tried every tactic to get his boyfriend to take some of the money, but Edward had either returned it to him, or had walked away. Hence, his new plan.

 “Y’know he did it out of the goodness of his own heart. He does it with everyone. He really doesn’t mind and – you weren’t a burden or whatever. It was his – our – pleasure having you here.” Calvin tries to defend, but Étienne doesn’t seem to want to hear him out on it.

 “I said, and I repeat, this is for Edward. You will find a way to make sure it goes to him.” Étienne reiterates in his no-nonsense tone. Calvin finds himself thinking that he would hate to cross Étienne on a bad day. The man means business and he is not ready to budge. Calvin knows that tactic and tone. Has used it in the past.

 “I don’t care how you use it on him,” Étienne goes on, “I don’t care if you have to slip a ten dollar bill in his wallet every week, or if you have to put a twenty in his “splurge jar.” It doesn’t matter if you use it for his runs at the market, or if you buy him a brand new fucking truck. It can be money you use to pay for his meals at dates for the next nineteen years, for all I care. It can be gas money for the bikes, hell it can be a new part of a bike – don’t care. You will use it on him.”

 Calvin opens his mouth to say something, but Étienne is clearly not done. “I don’t give a shit if you spend it to buy him a ticket for some exotic romantic getaway vacation where you fuck him silly for two straight weeks – hell, I don’t care if you buy him sex toys or even pay for some exotic male stripper for every one of his next birthdays. I don’t care if you use it on your anniversary to buy him something nice. I am giving you the cash. You will make sure Edward gets to enjoy it. You will splurge and dote on him, and I swear to God, if you try and give it back to me, or if Edward finds out, I will murder you.”

 Calvin gulps audibly. There really is no way out of this one.

 “The chickens need feed? That works. Edward mentions he wants some fancy organic whatever for the garden? Take it from in there. He wants a new tattoo? Envelope. He needs shaving cream and forgot his wallet at home? Envelope. Whatever. The fuck. He needs. You use the goddamned envelope. And you make sure. He doesn’t fucking. Find out.” He pauses. “Are we clear?”

 “Crystal.”

 “Good,” Étienne says and pauses, “Shake on it.” He extends his hand and Calvin tentatively grasps it, somehow feeling he’s just made a pact with the devil himself. “You’ll find the contract and all its clauses in your e-mail.” He adds with a cheery smile now that it’s been settled.

 Calvin has never felt so thrown off in all his life, “You’re really something else, aren’t you?” He asks, tentative, still partially afraid Étienne is still going to rip out his oesophagus and feed it to Mercury.

 “Oh, you have no idea.”

 Calvin says nothing to that and instead goes to stash the envelope of money where Edward won’t find it.

 FIN

[rickybowxn]

hey!! ok so i just need someone else’s opinion bc i haven’t seen anyone talking about this and i literally can’t wrap my head around it lol ok so ricky and nini dated for a YEAR and never once said i love you? and if ricky isn’t ready to say it was he going to wait till 2 years? 3? 4? or was he never going to say it? i also don’t understand why he doesn’t understand that he broke her heart :( i love him but he essentially broke up with her after she told him she loved him on their anniversary 😭

hiya! this is such a great line of discussion and so there’s a lot to break down, bear with me this is gonna be a long one :)

let’s start with the thought that ricky doesn’t understand that he broke nini’s heart. i agree and disagree with you on this. i think that as a 16 year old boy, in the heat of the moment after he saw the instagram post and was clearly overwhelmed by it, he definitely didn’t know that he deeply hurt nini when he decided to not say it back and break up with her. he was as impulsive and sudden in action in response to a post/declaration that in his perspective, was impulsive and sudden by nini. he definitely underestimated the consequences and the weight of him not saying it back in respect to nini’s emotions, and thought that there was space to come back from not saying it back (and i’ll get to why he assumed that in a bit). now, fast forward to junior year, i think he’s definitely understood just how much he broke nini’s heart. i think kourtney’s resentment toward ricky in respect to how nini was treated and more importantly, nini’s general irritation/stand offishness and just distaste towards him throughout the first three episodes allowed ricky to understand how hurt she was by it.

now let’s get when ricky was supposed to/will say ‘i love you’. i don’t know about you but i personally believe that every relationship has a pace, and that pace is different for everybody. saying ‘i love you’ simply doesn’t have a timer on it, it could happen in weeks, or months, or years. how fast or how long it takes to say those words neither validates nor weakens the relationship, and that’s what i believe. personally, i’d argue that throwing around ‘i love you’s’ at 14/15/16 is more unusual/immature than a healthy/mature response (and i’ll elaborate on that in a bit as well) in a relationship. with respect to rini/rickini/ricky and nini, it’s more about each character’s motivation and circumstance with respect to their relationship, as well as their relationship as a whole. tackling that first bit, ricky is in a really rough spot in his perception of love atm, it’s been skewed into negativity since his parents’ marriage started falling apart, i’ve mentioned it in another post of mine when i was analysing ep4 - ‘the only concept of love that he grew up with, his parents - he witnessed them be in, and slowly fall out of love. his only understanding of love is that it is temporary and painful’. now parallel that with nini’s perception of love, beautifully explicated by the subtext of kourtney’s (kinda) monologue in ep5 “i don’t get it, what happened to the seventh grade nini who used to belt this song… ever since you discovered boys, you’ve spent way too much time trying to see yourself through their eyes”, we know that they are worlds apart in how they perceive and pace the idea of love, as well as a relationship itself. nini, from what kourtney said, can be deduced to loving the idea of love - having a boyfriend, getting attention and affection etc. she’s a 14/15 year old girl who started a relationship with the first boy she met and seriously had feelings for. it’s even safe to assume that she jumped into saying ‘i love you’ because she thought ricky was ‘the one’ and she must have watched about 3737328473 romcoms and musicals that pushed the agenda and romanticised relationships and being in love (which no doubt influenced her version and understanding, which is still completely valid and integral, of love). it’s really important for us to understand that just like ricky’s understanding of love is twisted, so is nini’s, neither of them have really gotten to knowing the depth of how good and not so good love can be, and how big of a commitment it is, and that’s because of what i talk about next!

the bombshell that has created the entire arc of the ricky and nini relationship is immaturity. immaturity! ricky and nini are teenagers who are still developing skills such as communication, their independent values and beliefs, as well as self-image. these are all fundamental aspects that encourage and foster a healthy environment for a romantic relationship to grow. getting into a relationship so young, at 14/15 and committing to a person is so difficult simply because you don’t have a developed skillset of these things yet, and ricky and nini are a poster example. remember how i said i’d get back to why ricky thought that he could come back from not saying ‘i love you back’ to nini? well we’re here now, it was immaturity. ricky didn’t have the empathy or emotional maturity to understand how it would effect nini, and nini didn’t communicate, (and actually still hasn’t communicated), why not saying ‘i love you’ back hurt her, she’s just been lashing out so far. now the mature thing to have done is to have sat down with ricky and talked through it, asked him and understood his train of thought. she didn’t do that and ricky just walked away without explaining himself. that, is called a lack of communication. and that skill, comes from learning and ageing. yes it was obvious to us as an audience what he’d done was so wrong, but seriously, as a 16 year old coming from a broken home and never having experienced/seen a healthy relationship, i doubt you any of us would be able to fully grasp it if it was happening to us. and that’s why i’d argue that taking a relationship slow, feeling it out and getting into it as older and more mature individuals is more thought-out. your feelings at any age toward another person are valid, especially in the case that they are reciprocated, but that doesn’t mean you will have a functioning relationship. that’s because relationships. are. work. and kids can’t handle the work because they don’t have the skills that match the job description. ‘i love you’ encapsulates that promise - exercising communication, empathy and support, it’s more than just an emotion i think. in this case, i actually think that ricky understands that better than nini does, because as i said in my other post, one of the motivating reasons he didn’t say it back is because his parents didn’t keep their promise - they fell out of developing their skillset and supporting each other. 

now the most important side-note: none of us will ever perfect these skills that make a relationship work, its constant practice in empathy, in communication, in understanding, in esteem and confidence, and in support. i just think that nini and ricky never got to experience even developing those skills independently and that’s why their relationship fell apart in the way it did. this break has already matured them, ep5 showed nini gaining genuine confidence in herself and ep4 showed ricking communicating to nini how he felt about everything going on at home. them independently going about their lives and growing is already inevitably readying them for being in a relationship and committing to them the right way, when they’re ready for it! i’m so excited to see it

finally, as for when ricky will say/was planning to say ‘i love you’ - i think the writers are taking us on that journey right now! the break ricky and nini have been going through is perfectly setting them up for that mutual and satisfying understanding of the love they have for one and other. i personally think that ricky has loved nini from the get-go, his fear of externalising those emotions is that he’ll have the same outcome as his parents, his insecurities right now don’t allow him to believe that he can have, or even deserves, more than his parents’ fate. hopefully gets out of his rut with talking about how he genuinely feels about nini and how he’s ready for that relationship soon. nini is already getting better at being more sure of herself and what she wants, i think she’ll soon realise how ricky is different to her, and how that doesn’t take away from his legitimate and very strong feelings that are ever-present for her.

what ricky did sucked and he was undoubtably a douche. but that was the exposition to his, and ricky and nini’s story, it only gets better from here! it already has xx

(i’m so so sorry it’s this long, you just really got my analysis flowing lmao, hopefully this wasn’t just a mumble and was kind of an insight. i have so much to say but my brain feels like ramen rn)

[erin-gilberts]

Bc It’s such a good post will you answer all the cafe asks?

Yessss totally! 

Vanilla Chai Latte : Are you in love?

Yes, wholeheartedly and unapologetically, I am. 

My girlfriend and I have only been together for two months, but it’s one of those things where when you know, you know. I’ve been in relationships lasting upwards of a year where I still didn’t know at the end of them whether or not I was in love. Early on in the year, I was actually even having conversations with my mom about how I wasn’t sure I’d ever been in love; I had no concept of what that felt like. I didn’t feel like I was feeling what I was supposed to be in relationships. I wondered if I was aromantic and if I wasn’t meant to experience romantic love.

With her, I’ve realized everything love IS supposed to feel like, and I’ve realized I AM capable of feeling those feelings - I just hadn’t met the right person yet. My heart was waiting for her. 

We daydream of the life we intend to build together, and it delights me to be able to wake up every day and choose her, again and again, as we run boldly and breathlessly into the future we now share. We totally u-hauled but we’re both so committed to blooming and becoming together; it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before despite having quite a bit of experience in relationships. 

Flat White : Coffee or Tea?

Coffee. It feels more substantial to me with more ways to customize it exactly how you like it. I also just have a lot of really positive memories being in coffee shops! I’m currently obsessing over Starbucks’s seasonal salted caramel mocha. 

Cappuccino : What’s your middle name?

Elizabeth! I was named after my mother and grandmother, so it’s the only part of my birth name I kept when I changed my name. 

Mocha : Dream Job?

A famous professional organizer on the same level as Marie Kondo and Dorothy Breininger! They’re my inspiration and the reason I went into this kind of work. Also, the executive director of my own LGBT-focused nonprofit (which I have been, and I intend to be again!). 

Pumpkin Spice : Dream car?

The super fancy bike I’ll use the day I ride in the AIDS LifeCycle? Haha, I don’t drive and I don’t intend to! 

Jasmine Tea : If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

Ugh, if I could visit any place in the world right this moment, I’d choose to go back to Toronto in a heartbeat. I went there in 2015 for the Inside Out LGBT Film Festival and I LOVED that city. It was so fun and the people were so welcoming. Other than that? Moscow, because it’s where @googoogojob lives, or New York City, because I just learned Hook & Ladder 8 (the Ghostbusters firehouse) is a real place and I want to see it! 

Old English : You’re stranded on an island, who do you bring with you?

Do I have a limit?? If I have a choice, I’m definitely bringing my mom, brother, maternal grandparents, best friend, best friend’s family, cat, and girlfriend! That’s like the minimum amount of people in my life I couldn’t go without. 

Iced Chocolate : Do you have a crush on someone?

My girlfriend, who I continually redevelop a big gay crush on every day! But I feel like that’s not quite the spirit of what this question is asking, so - I also have a big gay crush on Kristen Wiig, which my girlfriend endlessly makes fun of me for! Like, to the point I named my cat Erin Gilbert. 

Caramel Frappe : Favorite video game?

It’s a tie between Minecraft and Undertale. I swing wildly between playing Minecraft daily to not playing for months, but it never gets old. The sandbox nature of the game enables infinite creativity, and the low stakes make it both accessible to me (not a gamer) and relaxing. And Undertale with its story and unique mechanics remains to this day the game to inspire the biggest emotional response in me. I’ve thought about having, “Despite everything, it’s still you” tattooed. 

Iced Lemon Tea : Favorite song/band?

My favorite songs of all time are “The Greatest” by Sia and “I Know a Place” by MUNA, both of which were written in the aftermath of the Pulse shooting and can be interpreted as the process of rediscovering queer joy at the same time your community is constantly faced with tragedy and pain. They hit hard in a beautiful way as a hate crime survivor. 

Iced Cafe Mocha : Favorite thing to do on rainy days?

I like to go out as soon as the storm passes and just walk downtown in the rain. The air always smells and feels so good; it clarifies me and I feel renewed. Walking in the light rain or before / after the storm always feels like breathing, really breathing, for the first time. It reminds me I exist and it reminds me that’s neat. 

Hot Chocolate : Are you an affectionate person?

Yessssss oh my god. I live and breathe being affectionate and not even in a strictly romantic sense. I’m naturally an exuberant person and I delight in making people happy. My girlfriend would also say I engage in “cat behavior” with my demands to be held or touching constantly. XD 

Caramel Macchiato : You’re travelling the entire world but you can only take one person with you. Who do you take?

My girlfriend @sweetmckinnon. Not only would we have the unprecedented opportunity to be gay in every country and continent, but we’re both writers, and we’d write an excellent book about these adventures! 

Green Tea : How tall are you?

5’7. 

Early Grey Tea : The inevitable Zombie Apocalypse is upon us! What’s your plan of action?

I’m rounding up everyone I care about and taking us to the nearest commune of marginalized people. We’ll be avoiding those uber-macho survivalist types like the plague, because their arrogance will 100% get everyone killed. At least marginalized communities would be more likely to understand working together and looking out for the community, not just yourself. 

Mint Tea : How do you relax?

Indoor cycling is my drug of choice. It’s HARD to be mad or stressed when you’re exerting that intensely. I might also write self-indulgent fanfics or indulge in a little controlled chaos (I’m an acrylic pour and collage artist). And talking to my girlfriend, best friend, or mom always makes me feel better, too. 

Vanilla Latte : Board games or drinking games?

I genuinely love board games and wish I had more people to play them with. 

Iced Coffee : Do you like reading? If so, what’s your favorite book?

I like reading, but having ADHD has made it extremely hard to read entire books in recent years. My favorite book is probably The Radium Girls by Kate Moore. The author takes what’s already a horrific story and a dark chapter in American history and with her devastating writing style, humanizes each woman involved to the point it makes you ache to read knowing the inevitability of their fate. Anytime anyone asks me for a book recommendation, this is the book I suggest. 

Italian Soda : Describe your dream date

My dream date would be after we’ve been together for a while - maybe on a date that’s special to us, like our anniversary, or maybe just on a random night because we feel like it, we have one of those super romantic dates like you see in the movies. We dress up super cute, go out to dinner and come home to a bedroom full of candles and rose petals on the floor, and every moment is spent just enjoying each other and what we have together in every way we can. <3 

Sparkling Water : Describe what qualities you look for in a person

Passion - I’m an activist who became the executive director of their own nonprofit at the age of 16. I’m not going to mesh with someone who’s just going through the motions of life without any aspirations. 

Flexibility - It’s a turnoff for me when someone is EXTREMELY committed to a very specific view of how their life is going to be. It tells me right away I’m going to have to continually contort myself to fit into their unbending path, because I accept I can’t predict the direction of my life with any degree of precision and I’m not rigid about it as a result. 

Creative - I’m currently dating another writer and it’s the most fun I’ve ever had in a relationship. The quickest way to get us to pop off into a spirited debate is to get us started about story structure and characterization. We. Go. OFF. And could go off for days. Our shared creative passion gives us endless ground to connect and bond on. 

Those are just a few, but definitely a few important ones for me! 

Orange Juice : Have you ever had a valentine?

My first girlfriend, who I dated from 12-17, is the only valentine I’ve ever had. The timing of my relationships as an adult has never worked out for me to be partnered on Valentine’s Day. We weren’t super out about our relationship at the time and didn’t spend Valentine’s Day together, but I still have the love letters she sent me copied into my 7th grade diary, and I still have the antique gold heart necklace with enamel roses she gave me one year, too! Lots of lovely memories from that relationship. 

Rose Hip Tea : Describe your first kiss

My first girlfriend and I were 12-13, cutting class in the bathroom because she was often bullied for her sexuality. She was having an especially rough day that day and I knew exactly where to find her. She kissed me out of the blue while I was comforting her and in all of my baby gay naivety, I hadn’t fully realized I was gay or that she liked me that way prior to that. Turns out I was and she did. We dated for five years. 

Herbal Tea : You’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy?

Oh, I’m going right to the bakery scent section. I’m not a huge fan of chocolate-scented candles, but vanilla? Christmas cookies? Gingerbread? Sign me the FUCK up. 

Sandalwood is also one of my favorite scents, but depending on what it’s blended with, it can be hit or miss for me in candles. 

[elijahfitz]

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

[haikyuulovercompany]

I was looking at your avatar & now I am here to lay down my love for the protagonist of haikyū bc this boy def needs more love!

Hinata does deserve so, so MUCH love. Thanks for requesting my baby. (alongside Tendou). Hinata doesn’t get requested that much. 

—

Hinata watched himself with his shorter hair, now more stylized than when he was much younger, and his stronger factions. The soft outline of his face was gone and replaces by sharper edges. He nervously huffed as he fixed the collar of his dress shirt, to then patted over one of his pants pockets. He felt the small box lying safely inside.

He simply couldn’t believe he had reached that moment in his life. He couldn’t believe he had his own place, which he shared with his own girlfriend. And what was most unbelievable was the decision he had took a month ago when he found himself staring for the fifth time at engagement rings. His stomach roared in anxiousness. He hoped the night ended up in a good mood, or that he didn’t drop the box as he went down to his knees. He might be a different person than the one he was when he was a teenager, but what hadn’t change was his clumsiness.

“Ready,” he heard her from behind him. He turned around finding her in a gorgeous dress dealing with the clasp of her bracelet. If he needed any sign that told him he was about to do the right thing, the way she looked that night was enough to put him at ease. She raised her head to meet his eyes and then share a shy smile to him. “You look handsome.”

Hinata became flustered, passing a hand through his hair as a bad habit. He approached her, depositing a kiss on her head. Against everyone’s expectations, he had also grown up in height. “You look really pretty tonight, too.”

“I hope so.”

Hinata seemed worried for a second. “But you really do.”

She only could chuckle at his concerned. She had said it as a joke, but she could always count on Hinata to try to scare away her insecurities joke or not. It was his nature. “Let’s go or we will miss our reservation.”

The dinner at the restaurant he had picked had been nothing but a façade to his actual plan. The place was beyond beautiful with its view from the city already buried in darkness with the lights shining as if the night sky was at their feet instead of above them. He could see the fascination on her face, mesmerized by the scenery just beside their table and entirely unaware of his drunk in love eyes glued at her. He wanted to drop in one knee at that exact moment instead of waiting. And it would still work if he did so. However, it wouldn’t hold as much meaning as what he had in store for later.

Who could have imagined he would grow to be the romantic type?

He stayed still throughout their dinner. He kept it casual, trying to push aside little twinge of anxiousness in him as they finished their food. He would have to ask the big question soon, and even if he was sure, he couldn’t help to be antsy.

It had been complicated to convince her to go back to their apartment walking instead of taking a cab without seeming suspicious, nevertheless, she had agreed with not much questioning.

And it got worse with every step they took towards the park. His heart threatening to launch itself out of his chest if he dared to go any closer that place. But he kept going, clammy hands hidden in his jacket as he kept her arm linked to his seemingly clueless.

The west park, where they were currently walking to, was the same park he had taken her to their first date. It was the park they both loved to take walks every Sunday like an old couple. There wasn’t any other place for him to do it. They had turned a simple public park into their place.

They made their way through the metal arch announcing they were entering the property. Hinata shivered even thou it was a pretty hot summer night. The light jacket he had chosen to compliment his look was now heavy on him.

When the enormous fountain taking the spotlight in the middle of the park appeared before them, Hinata was done for. This was the place. The most gorgeous spot in the whole park with its wide spaces all around and lights illuminating the fountain. Early on the weekends, it was close to impossible to find an empty space, but at that hour at night, the place was empty—they had it entirely to themselves.

“It’s so beautiful here at night, isn’t it?” she commented, taking her hand off of his arm to walk closer to the fountain. “And so peaceful. I wish it could be like this during the day, too.” And it was now or never, so with shaky hands he took the small box from his pants gripping it tightly so it wouldn’t fly off of them. She slowly turned to him, finding strange his lack of response. She gasped, her hands going to her mouth as a natural reaction. “S-shouyo.”

He swallowed heavily. “Will you… marry me?” She didn’t answer anything verbally. Instead, she choked a cry and went down on her own knees to hug him as she nodded furiously against his shoulder. Hinata chuckled, and then she began to cry more freely, her arms still wrapped around his neck. “Let me put it on you or I’m afraid I will drop it.”

“Yeah, of course. I’m sorry.”

With both of them still on the floor, Hinata took out the ring from its box, and gently hold her hand sliding slowly the ring. “We’re getting married,” she whispered.

Hinata nodded. “We are.”

They locked eyes in one intense glare before she threw herself on him once again, this time successfully brining both of them down in sheer happiness. Hinata didn’t complain. He was beatific himself.

[captainmarvels]

Last Forever

Request: Do you think you could do something where the reader is dating Tom and they barely see each other bc of Tom's work and bc of that they get into a ridiculous fight about it over the phone and it ends really badly. Tom feels bad about all the nasty words that were said so he goes home and surprises her there's just a bunch of fluff at the end?!

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k (i got carried away, sorry)

Warnings: Language, Angst, eventual fluffy floof

A/N: this is a combo of 2 tom requests I got! hope you all enjoy, I’ve missed writing for this brit! x || main masterlist

Could this day get any worse?

First, you miss your train, showing up late to work for the fourth time this month. Your boss was already upset with you for messing up a few order catalogs, so you knew you were in for the worst when you walked in the doors.

All of this, topped with the icing on the cake - your boyfriend cancelling plans to see you, again.

Y/N: So, this weekend, then?

T: Can’t, love. I meant to tell you earlier this week. Shooting got pushed up, a location Doug wants for some scenes just became available

T: I’m sorry.

At the end of the day, you feel like you’re barely alive.

Your back hurts, your headache is back, full force, and you just can’t seem to catch a break.

Your body meets the soft plush of your bed as soon as you make it to your room, the world drowned out with the pleasant thought of sleep.

Those dreams come apart the second your phone starts to buzz.

You check, sighing rather annoyedly. You take a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself as you answer.

“Hi.”

“Hi yourself, love. How’s my princess?” Tom’s voice rang deep on the other side of the line, and usually it would make you smile like there was no tomorrow. But not today.

“Not good. I think I’m dying.” He snickers on the other end, and you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Not funny, Holland.”

“Ouch. Last name, now? What happened, darling?” He sounds genuine, but your anger blinds you.

“I was late today, again. And my boss already wants to slit my throat, so that’s just perfect. And then, to top it all off, you cancel. Again.” You clap a hand over your mouth, realizing what you just said. Tom’s silent, his breathing barely audible. You’re cursing yourself under your breath when you hear the click of his tongue.

“At least you’re not burying your feelings like always. That’s an improvement.” You’re picturing him rolling his eyes as he distracts himself and it makes everything hurt.

“Oh, is it? Sorry that I’m not a very direct person when it comes to my feelings, like someone I know.”

“C’mon, I know you’ve got more in you than that, darling.”

“Do you want us to fight? Is that what this has come to?”

“At least the phone call will be longer than 5 minutes if we do! You never talk to me anymore, Y/N.”

“Because you’re always busy, idiot! Or do you not realize that I’m trying to accommodate for you?”

“If ignoring me is accommodating for me, then by all means, continue. Let me stress over whether you’re okay or not, please.”

“As if you cared.”

“What?” You’re seething, your hand gripping your comforter tightly as you try to calm down. There was no turning back now.

“If you even cared about me, you wouldn’t be cancelling our plans left and right, Tom. I haven’t seen you in months.” Your voice cracks on the last word, and you can feel the tears in the corners of your eyes.

“You’ve got to be - hold on,” You hear some loud clattering in the background, followed by muffled voices. You assume someone’s come to his trailer, and you know the call has come to its end. You know you won’t be able to handle any more that Tom has to say, so you hang up before he has the chance to come back.

“Can you give me just 5 more minutes, Dave? Tell Doug I’m in makeup or something, please.”

“Okay, I got it.” The assistant leaves, Tom running a hand through his hair as he shuts the trailer door shut. He looks at his phone, groaning when he realizes you’ve hung up.

“Fucking hell, Y/N.” He throws it on his bed, sighing as he throws himself onto the ground, his head in his hands.

“I’ve got to fix this.”

Your first weekend free in months, and it’s your year and a half anniversary. You were never one to care about halfway milestones, but you adored how excited Tom was about the anniversaries. If he could, he would celebrate every single month.

The thought brings a smile to your face for a moment, only to fall as you recall the exchange you’d had the night before. You wince, remembering everything you had said to him, and he had said to you. You never thought the distance, his work, all of it, would come between you two like this.

It was never easy, and you knew that the moment he confessed his feelings for you.

“I really like you, Y/N. So much, I think I’ve driven Harry and Harrison to the brink of insanity, darling. I understand if you don’t want to start something with me, considering the mess that is my life. But I promise you, I’ll always be there. Whenever you need.”

His words bring tears to your eyes once more, but for a whole other reason. Sometimes you forget the poor boy’s been in love with you since day one.

He admitted it to you only six months ago, mainly because he was sure you’d think he was some psycho. Now, it only made you long for him more than ever.

You’re curled up on your bed, dozing off during an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, when a sharp knock sounds at your apartment door. You rise, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you make your way to see to the unexpected visitor. You don’t even bother checking who it is, already planning on shooing them away so you could be alone, in peace.

Oh, were you in for the surprise of the night.

You open the door halfway, leaning your head against the frame. You look up, meeting warm brown eyes. You blink, rubbing your eyes once more as you think you’re starting to see things.

Tom’s standing right in front of you, a bouquet of roses in one arm, and a bag of your favorite takeout in the other. His traveling bag is at his feet, and a small smile is dancing on his lips as he tilts his head, looking at you.

“Well? Aren’t you going to let me in, my love?”

“You - Tom - Wait, you’re actually here?!” You let the door open all the way, the young man nodding his head as he grins, kicking his bag through the opening.

“Of course, darling. Couldn’t leave my favorite girl alone on a special day like today.” He crosses in, placing the flowers and food on the hall table, turning around to shut the door, pulling you into his arms as fast as he can.

You feel like you’re spinning, your eyes lost in his as you both just gaze at each other. Tom rests his forehead against yours, his arms tightening around you as he presses you tight against his chest.

“I’ve missed you so damn much.” His words are barely audible; his eyes are closed, his nose barely grazing yours.

“I’m so sorry, Tom. Really, I didn’t mean any of it, I swear. God, I’m such a bitch.” He pulls away slightly, frowning as he brushes some of your hair off your face.

“Never. You never have been, never will be. I know you didn’t. I’m sorry, too, baby. I was so frustrated with filming, especially because it kept ruining everything I wanted to plan with you. I know I said I’d always be here for you, and I intend on keeping my word. It’s just, lately, it’s been so complicated.” He nuzzles his face into your neck, humming softly as he breathes in your scent.

“Wearing my favorite shirt, love?”

“Didn’t know it was a favorite.” You giggle, running your fingers through his curly locks as he presses soft kisses on your neck.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” His words are muffled, but you still smile.

“Maybe we can, if you let me eat first.” He laughs, pulling away to grab the bag off the table.

“Wine and dine?”

“God, yes.”

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