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princessphilly · 4 years ago

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Plain Jane Chapter 2

Word Count: 2391

CW: a mention of P K*ne, allusions to issues with alcohol, references to being in the closet

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I’m too damn stubborn for my own good. I admit it; I don’t like to lose or be wrong. I hate being wrong. Well, I hate losing money more than anything else. But I really hate losing or being wrong after that. - Journal 10/12

One year later

Jamila couldn’t help but look at Jonathan Toews as he sat at the table for this charity dinner. He really was more handsome in person than in the pictures. But the guy sitting next to him was just as good looking as him, in her opinion. He was rougher looking with long auburn hair and blue eyes and probably a good decade older than her, just the way that Jamila liked it. The only issue was… Duncs was nice but he wasn’t as exciting as Jonathan Toews. But Jamila told Shan and Mel that she was going to fuck Duncan Keith and she always got her man. Plus, it didn’t help that Jonathan always has something smart to say which made Jamila more dedicated to fucking Duncs.

But it seemed like that wasn’t going to happen. Jamila was frustrated; she knew she was gorgeous and she was used to getting her way. But Duncs had a preference for blondes and.. Jamila had no desire to dye her hair blonde anytime soon. Plus, she hated the fact that she was going to lose because then Jonathan would hold it over her.

Normally, Jon wouldn’t give a fuck that a girl wanted Duncs over him. He knew exactly where he stood with the vast majority of women and that he could have anyone he wanted. But he really, for some reason, wanted her. It had been over a year since they met and she was still hung up over Duncs. Granted, during that time, Jon was recovering from an injury and was at home in Winnipeg. Now, he was back and he wanted Jamila, even though she was supposed to be Cizisky’s girl. Jon had pulled the younger defenseman to the side and asked him about her and Cizisky straight up said that she was just going out with him as a friend to events. So Jon knew that Jamila was basically single and available.

Jamila was smiling in Duncs face but whenever he talked to her, she got angry and flustered. Jon knew she really wasn’t that interested in Duncs. He could tell by the way Jamila got closer to him when they argued that she really liked him. But the stubborn woman didn’t want to admit it.

As the captain, Jon was used to solving problems. But this was a problem that he couldn’t solve and he was becoming frustrated.

It wasn’t fair how intense those dark brown eyes were. And they had been focused on her while Jamila attempted to flirt with Duncs. Jamila had to admit she was failing and it was annoying her. He was being polite but she knew she was being brushed off.

She could hear Jonathan; “Duncs isn’t interested. Aren’t you tired of wasting your time?” All of that paired with a mocking look. She was done doing favors for Shan’s cousin. Next time he needed a plus one, he could find someone else.

“Tired of shooting wide?”

“Really, a hockey metaphor?” Jamila rolled her eyes while Jonathan chuckled. He really was tired of watching Jamila flirt with Duncs. She wasn’t his usual type but Jonathan wanted to be her type. Once Duncs made it clear that he wasn’t interested, Jonathan decided it was time to try his luck.

“Good, you’re learning about the game! But are you tired?”

“What do you mean?”

Jonathan was tall enough that while she wore 5-inch heels, Jamila still had to look up at him a bit. He licked his lips and once again, Jamila felt those unwanted shivers. Jonathan smirked before saying, “Stop pretending you’re interested in Duncs when we both know that you really want me.”

“You’re so conceited,” Jamila retorted. A small part of her said he was right but her pride hurt so fuck him.

Jonathan gave her a devilish grin. “Fuck me? We can make that happen.”

Jamila’s eyes grew wide when she realized she said that out loud. “Captain Serious? More like Captain Dickhead!” Jamila rolled her eyes as she gave him a once over.

Then Jon shocked her. “That was a bit too much, I’m sorry,” he said. The earnest look in his eyes told Jamila he was telling the truth. “But seriously, you’re wasting your time.”

Jamila sighed deeply. She knew he was right but her ego didn’t want to let her admit it. Jamila just grimaced before pushing away from Jonathan.

For the rest of the night, Jamila kept mostly to herself and Alex, nursing her wine. She was tempted to get something stronger, very tempted, but she kept herself to her one glass of wine. It helped that Alex was watching her like a hawk, as if he knew that Jamila was in a mood. As soon as he was able to, Alex made his goodbyes, escorting Jamila out to the valet.

“What happened, Mila?”

Jamila sighed as Alex’s car was brought up. “Nothing, buddy. Nothing.”

Alex wisely didn’t press it as he got his keys from the valet, opening the door for Jamila and closing it after she got in. Once he was in the car and driving away, he said, “You’ve been in a mood since you talked with Tazer. Did he say something that triggered you? I’ll tell him to back off if he’s triggering you, Mila.”

Jamila sighed. “He didn’t say anything that triggered me, per se, but you know I hate being wrong.”

“Yeah, because you’re very wrong about Duncs… I’ve been telling you that for months,” Alex cracked.

Rolling her eyes, Jamila replied, “Jonathan basically said the same thing. Then he hit on me, again.”

“I thought you enjoyed verbally sparring with him. It’s entertaining as fuck.”

“Fuck you too, Alex!”

Alex snorted as he said, “I would if I liked pussy.”

“Talking about that, have you thought of coming out,” Jamila asked.

Alex looked at the road as he thought about his words. Then he said, “I could but I feel the same ones who talk about ‘You Can Play’ and all of that aren’t as accepting as they pretend to be. I mean, Tazer would be supportive, probably Duncs, maybe Kaner, Brinks, Murph, but the rest of the guys… I don’t want to risk it right now.”

Jamila reached over, placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder. That was a lot to have to deal with. “People fucking suck, man.”

“I know. Thanks for being my plus-one, Mila. I will always support you, even when people are asking me to call you names when you finally get with the captain.”

Jamila laughed, tears forming in her eyes at the idea of dating Jonathan. “That was very funny, Alex, you should become a comedian.”

Smirking, Alex turned into the parking lot of the building that they lived in. They had separate units, Jamila’s bigger and more expensive, but it was still home. “Jamila, your eyes still follow Tazer everywhere he goes when you two are at the same place. It’s a matter of time, well, it’s a matter of how stubborn you are about it.”

As Jamila walked into her condo, she thought about Alex and his words. She felt a bit bad for him; locker room culture was real and it sucked that Alex couldn’t fully be himself yet. At the same time, Jamila wasn’t fully open about her own sexuality. If she wanted attention, she could easily come out as pansexual but Jamila didn’t want her life to become a circus. Add on the fact that she enjoyed bdsm and was a submissive…. It would be a hot mess, she thought. However, Jamila knew that she didn’t have to worry about the potential reactions of a bunch of other people if she did decide to come out.

One thing Jamila did have to worry about was her thesis. It was finished, turned in, it was just a matter of finding out when she would have to defend it. Since she was graduating with her PhD this December, Jamila knew it would be before then. Not knowing the exact date was just irritating to her. Maybe once she had it, her dad would respect her more.

Jamila sighed as she looked out at the Chicago skyline. It didn’t matter anyway. He wouldn’t really care. The only ones who would were Nina, Marisa, Ms. Tracey and Mr. Vernon, Siobhan, Lauren, maybe Karesha and Desiree. Sighing again, Jamila decided it was time to go to sleep for the night.

Jon looked at his computer screen as he looked at his budget for the month. Coming back this season has had it’s ups and down so far. The travel and other rhythms of the season were familiar but at the same time, Jon had enjoyed being at home. For over a decade, Jon had lived under the grind of the NHL season plus the playoffs. There was something nice about being a home, not a hotel room every couple of weeks. The hotels were all the same, they stayed at the same places in the same cities every year. But staying in his own bed night after night had it’s own appeal.

At the same time, Jon wanted a 4th cup. It still irritated him that the team had decided to rebuild without even asking if the boys wanted to rebuild. Last season, Jon appreciated that the boys didn’t give up and tank even though the front office would have preferred that they did. Odds were stacked against them this season but Jon believed that they could make it. Once the playoffs started, it was anyone’s chance to get the Cup.

Jon sighed as he opened the Netflix app. He was starting to really feel his age this year. He was only 33 but he could feel every hit now. Plus, coming home to this new place with no one waiting for him was getting very old. “Maybe that’s why you like that girl so much,” Jon muttered to himself. He felt dumb; every time he talked to Jamila, he felt like he put his foot in his mouth. But then, it seemed like she was just looking for an excuse to tell him no.

As he mindlessly scrolled through shows, Jon felt super frustrated and ready to give up. He didn’t want to continue asking her out if she kept saying no. Jon blanched as the idea that maybe he was making Jamila uncomfortable came in his mind. As he clicked on watching Brooklyn 911, Jon decided that he was going to leave Jamila alone.

Jamila felt weird. It was two weeks since the last time she saw Jon and he was keeping his distance from her. All night, all he had done was say hi and wave when she greeted him. Jamila felt strangely bereft. Unconsciously, Jamila’s eyes drifted towards Jon more often than not during the charity auction. His black suit fit him like a glove, the crisp white shirt setting off his remaining tan. Of course, Jon didn’t wear a tie and it made him look absolutely delicious. Jamila inwardly scowled as she looked down at her water.

Jamila was attempting to be good by sticking to water instead of any of the myriad alcoholic options tonight. The last time she had wine, she had to resist the urge to down the whole bottle. Jamila sighed; she thought she could try to have a bit of alcohol but now, she was sure that was impossible. Her sobriety was worth more than trying to fit in.

The auction went pretty quickly, all things considered. Jamila made a couple small bids, there wasn’t really anything that caught her eye. Then the auctioneer said, “For our last, and surprise, auction item tonight, a date with the captain, Jonathan Toews. The winner gets to have one night with Captain Toews, at a place of your choice. Mr. Toews is a gentleman so it will be on him. Bidding starts at five hundred.”

One woman yelled, “One thousand!”

There were a flurry of bids and Jamila knew she had a screwface as she listened. One of the bidders was that bitch Frances and it looked like she was going to have the winning bid. The bids went up to six thousand before it started to slow. The auctioneer called out, “sixty-five hundred, do I hear sixty-six hundred?”

He waited for a couple of moments for additional bids. Jamila looked at her hands as the auctioneer said, “Sixty-five hundred, sixty-five hundred, going once-”

“Seventy-five hundred,” Jamila called out, raising her placard.

There was a hush as people turned towards her. Jamila smirked as Jonathan raised an eyebrow.

“Seventy-five hundred, do I hear seventy-six hundred?”

Jamila waited as she sipped her water. Frances called out, “Eighty-five hundred,” frustration laced in her voice. Jamila smirked; this was time for payback.

The eyes turned towards her and Jamila looked down at her phone. There was a message from Alex: have u lost ur mind?????

“Ten-thousand,” Jamila called out.

Jon let out a whoo, pursing his lips. This night had turned out in a way he hadn’t expected. The auctioneer called out, “Ten-thousand, ten-thousand, going once, going twice, sold, to number 53.”

Jamila rifled through her purse, looking for her wallet. She hoped she could just put it on her black card instead of needing a check. The money wasn’t a problem; the way of paying could be. One of the team’s interns came to Jamila. “Miss, come this way to pay.”

Following the intern, Jamila gave Frances a wide smile when she passed her. Luckily, Jamila was able to use her card to pay for her bid.

“This wasn’t expected,” a deep voice said to her side.

Jamila smiled. “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

“I’m a tool for revenge? I feel like shit,” Jonathan joked.

Jamila shrugged. “I’ll let you know if I ever want that date.”

Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Jamila walked away. She still felt some satisfaction winning the bid over that bitch, but something told her she made a crucial decision in some way.

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kimoralov3 · 4 years ago

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Love to Hate Me

Requested by: @NuclearPizza84

Word Count: 2314

Pairing: Erik Lehnsherr x mutant!black!fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, fighting, fire, use of mutant abilities, Erik being an ass

(Y/N)'s POV

Picking up my book, I flipped through the pages. Yeah, I'll leave the science stuff to Charles.

"(Y/N), I would like to introduce you to my new friend Erik. He'll be staying with us while I build up the school. Erik, this is my younger sister (Y/N)." Charles said as he walked into the living room. I looked up, waving at Erik.

"Hello, nice to meet you." I got up and held my hand out for him to shake, but he just looked at it then looked back at me. Well that was rude.

"(Y/N), do you know where Raven is?" Charles didn't seem to notice his new 'friend' being a dick.

"Last time I checked she was in her room. She might be taking a nap right now though." I explained as I pointed in the direction of the bedrooms. Charles nodded and made his way down the hall, leaving me and Erik alone.

"So do you have any abilities?" Erik finally spoke up. So he does speak. Good to know.

"I can control and create fire. You?"

"Now why would I tell you that?"

"So I tell you mine but you're gonna bitch about me knowing yours? Seems totally fair." I sassed as I crossed my arms over my chest. Erik rolled his eyes, brushing past me and going in the same direction as Charles. Asshole.

----

6 months.

6 months of having to deal with that asshole named Erik Lehnsherr. Surprised I haven't 'accidently' killed him yet. Charles had gotten the school set up to open in the fall, so me, Raven, Hank, Alex, Seth, and him have been perfecting courses for any possible mutation our future students might have. Erik was supposed to be helping, but he spent most of the time complaining about the way things were playing out.

"I'm glad to see that all our hard work has paid off." Erik announced as he walked into one of the training rooms. This specific one was made to withstand high temperatures, so it was perfect for me and Alex to use for practice.

"Your work? You ain't done shit this whole process." I said as I took off my gloves.

"Like you have? Every time I run into you you seem to just be standing at your desk." Erik scoffed.

"I'm the one who's been hiring all the builders and chefs, Erik. I'm the one who's spent 20 hours a week contacting parents and trying to convince them that we can properly care for their child. And what have you been doing? Walking around and putting your unwanted opinions in the air. So don't come to me talking about how I'm the one who hasn't done any work."

"Is everything alright here?" Charles asked as he walked in.

"Your sister is being a bitch." Erik said calmly.

"I'm being a bitch? Real mature." I rolled my eyes, turning my attention to what I was doing before Erik interrupted me. As I was getting a mannequin from the storage room, I felt a pull on my bracelet. What the hell? I looked up to see Erik holding his hand out in the general direction of my arm. "So you're seriously gonna do this?"

"(Y/N), Erik, enough. Now is not the time." Charles warned. Before he could step in, Erik used his powers to push him out the room, locking the door.

"That's better. Now, shall we begin?" Erik asked as he took off his jacket and threw it on the floor. I took off my bracelet, throwing it at him.

"I'm not wasting my time with this, Erik. I have training to do."

"So you're backing out, just like that? That's a shame. I thought (Y/N) Xavier would have more courage than that."

"You want to fight, Lehnsherr? Fine, let's fight." I huffed out as I summoned a fireball, purposefully missing him by an inch. He dodged it, although it wasn't going to hit him anyway.

"There we go! Come on, don't hold back." Erik shouted as he slipped my bracelet back onto my arm, pulling me towards the wall. I focused all the heat in my body to my wrist, melting off the bracelet. That was one of my favorites. I made a trail of fire around the room, taking it up and down the walls and around the ceiling. The final curve made a circle around Erik, trapping him where he stood.

"Is that good enough for you?" I asked as I dusted my hands on my pants. Erik tried to step closer to me, causing it to grow high enough to reach his waist. "Is this what you wanted? For you to be 6 steps away from catching fire? Because if so, all you had to do was ask."

"Oh don't be like that, (Y/N). You know this is all in good fun." Erik gasped out.

"Do I? Because the whole time that we've known each other, you've been an ass. I tried to properly introduce myself, you ignored me. I offered to show you around the grounds, you called me a silly girl and walked off. I even offered to help you train, but you just pushed past me. I have tried multiple times to get to know you, yet everytime you act like a dick. So no, Erik Lehnsherr, I don't know that this is all in good fun, because I don't know you at all!" I shouted. Each word I got closer, and each sentence I became more and more upset. The fire grew bigger, the circle around Erik closing more and more the angrier I got. Erik didn't speak, he just hung his head down in shame. Pathetic. "So now you have nothing to say?"

"(Y/N), I didn't-" Erik was cut off by the sound of the doors swinging open, Charles and Raven standing there. I extinguished the fire, brushing past the two of them and running to my room.

----

Erik's POV

"Why can't you just get along? What's the point of the useless bickering and fighting? What has she done to deserve this kind of treatment?" Charles shouted as he paced back and forth in front of his desk.

"Charles, you know I never meant for it to get as bad as it did just now. I thought that I was helping her." I explained as I watched him pace.

"I know that Erik, but you can't expect the woman you've treated like gum on the bottom of your shoe to know that. Why can't you just tell her the truth? (Y/N) is very understanding."

"It's not that simple, Charles. Especially after all this time. She hates me."

"You'll never know until you try. At least start with an apology. While you're doing that, I'm going to go asses the damage in the training room. I wish you luck, my friend." Charles patted me on my shoulder, walking out of the room.

This is not going to go well for me.

----

(Y/N)'s POV

"What's going on between you and Erik? I mean, I know the two of you have never gotten along that well, but it's never gotten to the point where the two of you use your abilities against each other." Raven asked as she sat on my bed, handing me a cup of tea.

"There's nothing going on between us, that's the problem. Ever since he's gotten here, he's done nothing but pick at me. I've tried to be nice to him, but he always shuts me down. It wouldn't be so annoying if he wasn't so fucking hot." I grumbled as I took a sip of tea.

"What did you just say?" Raven asked as she looked at me in shock.

"What?" I didn't say anything out of the ordinary.

"You just called Erik hot." Shit.

"What? No I didn't." I avoided her eyes, setting my tea on my dresser. Wow, that's very nice wood work. How have I just now noticed this?

"Yes you did! I definitely heard you say it." Raven said as she moved to stand in front of me. I sighed, rolling over so I was facing the window. "(Y/N), tell me the truth. Do you like Erik?"

"Maybe." I whispered.

"Well why haven't you asked him out yet?"

"Did you not see what happened earlier today? Erik clearly hates me, and I don't think that that's ever going to change. So why even bother." I explained as I rolled onto my back. Raven laid next to me, putting my head on her chest and rubbing my back.

"I don't think he hates you, (Y/N). I just think he doesn't know how to properly express his feelings. He's been through a lot, so it might take a lot to bring down those walls. Just give him time, I'm sure things will fall into place."

"You sound like our brother." I mumbled as I closed my eyes. She giggled, patting me on my arm.

"Well, I am the one who has to sit there and listen to his stupid thesis, because somebody just so happens to be asleep whenever he needs opinions."

"Yeah, well you spend enough time listening to Charles and you'll learn how to avoid his 3 hour long thesis."

----

It's been 2 weeks since the incident, and Erik hasn't even attempted to make it look like he hasn't been avoiding me. I went back to helping make final preparations for the start of school, and Erik went back to whatever the hell it was he was doing.

"(Y/N), Charles said that he wants to talk to you in his study." Alex said as he walked up to.

"About what?"

"He didn't say, just said that it was urgent." He walked off, leaving me to make my way to Charles' study. Wonder what he wants now. I knocked on the door, pushing the door open slightly.

"Charles? What's up?" I asked as I stepped in. Charles wasn't at his desk, but there was someone sitting in front of the desk. Erik.

"He isn't here."

"Yeah, I can see that. Guess I'll come back later." I said softly as I moved to leave the office.

"(Y/N), wait." Erik called as he softly grabbed my hand. I looked at him, then down at our hands. We've never actually touched before. "I want to apologize for what happened a few weeks ago. And for how I've been treating you ever since we met. You've done nothing to deserve that."

"Apology accepted, I guess. Is there something else you need?" I asked as I looked him in the eyes. I think I just found my new favorite shade of blue.

"Yes there is. I guess there is no time like the present." Erik said as he looked down at me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Follow me." He said. He didn't give me much of a choice, he just grabbed my hand and pulled me somewhere more private. He walked towards the stairwell, taking me onto the roof.

"What, are you gonna push me off the roof or something?" I joked as I looked over the ledge. It is a pretty far drop.

"Why would I ever do that?" Erik asked as he stepped closer to me.

"I don't know, maybe because you hate my guts." I said nonchalantly. Something flashed across his eyes, but it quickly disappeared.

"(Y/N), I would never do anything to hurt you." Erik whispered.

"Really? Why have you been treating me the way you have then?" I crossed my arms over my chest, tilting my head to the side slightly.

"Because I think I love you." He said softly. My heart skipped a beat, causing my breathing to slow a little.

"What?"

"I said I think I love you. And I think I fell for you the moment that I saw you. That's why I was such an ass; I wasn't sure how to properly show you how I felt. That's not an excuse for my actions, though. You don't have to accept my confession, but I just thought that I'd let you know. I'll leave you alone for now."

Before Erik could walk away, I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him down so we were eye to eye. I looked in his eyes, then to his lips, then back at his eyes. "If you're going to kiss me, go ahead and do it." I said softly I gave Erik a slight smile. He leaned down some more, our lips brushing. I pulled him down more, our lips finally meeting. I've been waiting for this moment for almost 7 months now.

"Sorry, I didn't realize that I was interrupting something." Charles' voice called from the entrance to the roof. Erik and I pulled apart, turning our attention towards Charles.

"You're always messing something up, Charles. What was it you needed?" I asked, not stepping away from Erik.

"It's not important. Carry on you two." Charles said as he made his way back into the house. I turned to Erik and slapped his chest lightly.

"You didn't think to lock the door?"

"Well to be fair, most normal people don't go onto the roof when they're looking for someone." Erik explained as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"We both know that Charles is far from normal. He probably used his telepathic abilities to find us." He said as he looked back at the stairwell door. I giggled, turning his head back to face me and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Or he set this up to get you to confess your feelings." I said as I leaned my head against his chest. He seemed to mull over the thought for a second before letting out a scoff.

"That little shit."

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cosmicclownboy · 4 years ago

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Alex realises five minutes into chomping down on his fries that he's found himself at a double date. He didn’t think anything of it at first. Liz casually slipping into the booth with Max linked in arms it wasn't anything new in the slightest. Only this time he carefully scans the Crashdown and deduces that it's just him and Michael and Max and Liz. And Liz has this little glint in her eyes that has him reaching for the basket in front stuffing the fries down as if his life depends on it. Michael is confused at first looking at him quizzically until Liz starts touching his shoulder and repeating Mikey. He wants to say no he wants to wrap his arms around his cowboy and drag him away to watch a movie.No such luck. Instead, he finds himself at a bar with a slightly tipsy Liz who has declared that it's time to have a bro's before hoes dance.

“Did I tell you Max did the most romantic thing the other night? I was absolutely wiped after looking at my thesis all day. I go to Max's and he lit candles everywhere in the bathroom there was rose petal's everywhere". “That seems excessive”. “Come on Alex you don’t think it’d be romantic and sexy to share a bath with Michael? or have rose petals around the room” “The logistics of taking a bath aren't exactly easy for me disability aid manufacturers don't exactly have a sexy line for splunking. I don't need to share a bath to know how Michael feels about me" He prods her nose hoping Liz gets the message she does but not before she asks him to salsa with her.

Michael is tired he's pretty much spent a ten-hour shift at Sanders's right now all he wants to do is curl up with his boyfriend which Liz has stolen. Does it classify as a double date if you aren't with your date and instead are hanging with your brother who you've spent the last three days with. But he supposes watching Liz try to get Alex to do salsa isn't so bad to watch not when Alex is beaming at Liz. Over ten years and they can finally tell a different story one where Alex smiles like that all the time one where they hold hands in the street and I love you's are casual as night and day. It's only when Max prattles on about his spontaneous acts of romance that he goes to search for his truck keys he really cannot listen to it anymore he misses Alex and their bed but more importantly Alex.The whole candles on the bath frame sound ridiculous and very much a safety hazard so it doesn't take him long to roll his eyes. "I'm telling you Liz never looked happier maybe you should do something romantic for Alex" He and Alex laugh about it on the car ride home. "God, no offence to Max and Liz but their romance is sometimes...... "painfully generic" Alex nods and leans his head into his chest. This right here this man in his arms there was nothing ever ordinary about it. "But I will admit the idea of sharing a bath with you sounds nice. Sue me I like any situation where I can hold you and have you pressed against me"

Alex finds there is nothing romantic in the slightest with sharing a bath with Michael. Sharing a bath is unique sharing a bath with your telepathic alien boyfriend is something else entirely. For the first ten minutes, Michael is content with holding him stroking him up and down pressing his lips to whatever patch of skin he could find eventually settling his face in his neck. After ten minutes, however, Michael is complacent. Bubbles levitate. He makes a beard out of foam. At some point, a rubber duck ends up floating in the tub. When did they get a rubber duck? The ten minutes that follow are pure playful chaos and Alex can't help but love every second of it. So once in a while, he will happily agree to share a bath. More rubber ducks find themselves in the tub Michael tries to sneak them in when he isn’t looking always distracting him with a kiss until he turns around and opens his eyes up to more ducks. Alex never thought he’d end up in a western standoff with an army of ducks and yet here he is. And despite Michael’s protest and pout face no he will not jerk him off in front of the twelve rubber ducks staring into his soul. He does not want that mental image. The ducks do not make another appearance in the tub. Alex feels it's an achievement they still mess about though. Michael finds bath crayons the white tiles are lined with dirty lines funny faces.

When he comes home a week later from a draining day of work tired with phantom twinges he almost misses it at first. But when he drops his bag carelessly on the floor and notices a blur of pink in the corner of his eye. He starts to scan the room.Yup.The little shit put them everywhere. Every corner and orifice has a petal attached. Alex locks his doors and furrows his brows confused at what the hell he’s about to witness. Music starts. Somehow Michael’s choice of song to go hand in hand with this explosion of roses is Hot Chocolate’s you sexy thing. And this alone is what brings a smile to his face. He finds the man in question in the bedroom lying on his side hand on hip rose in his mouth completely naked head to toe bar the cowboy hat resting on his head. “What do you think? sexy...” Alex laughs. “You say sexy. I say safety hazard why are their candles?” "I wanted to shut Max up he keeps harping on that it's romantic to do this it's messy lube and roses aren't a good combination.I already burned one of the cushions.I just wanted to do something nice for you" He points to a once cream cushion scorched in a corner. Alex should be annoyed frustrated it's going to take hours to find every petal but happiness just flood his senses he's never felt happier.Being with Michael is the adventure he never knew he could have but couldn't ever live without. "What are you talking about, Guerin you saved me another debriefing" He settles on top of the cowboy pinging his hat across the room and putting the rose on the nightstand.If the next morning they come in to the crashdown both covered in hickies holding hands looking smug because they filled Max's car with petals well what can they say they were trying to do something romantic together.

#malex #malexfic #me writing them being playful and cute more likely then you thin #k

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whiskynottea · 5 years ago

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An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35, Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44, Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51 Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55, Chapter 56, Chapter 57, Chapter 58, Chapter 59

AO3

(long) A/N: This story was born as a result of my procrastination. I wrote the first chapter instead of working on the paper for my PhD, an evening I was alone in the lab. I couldn’t resist, because I could see Jamie right there in front of me, teasing Claire in the class. Now, a year and a half later, I have finished writing my paper and my PhD thesis, got my PhD and I prepare for the next stage of my life. I guess what I want to say is… It has been a journey.

I posted the first chapter as a one-shot and your feedback made me go on. Back then I knew the beginning and the end of this story and thought it would be about 20 chapters long. Well, these two kids had other plans. They had so much to do in between, to live together, that the story kept becoming longer and longer. And I loved it. I loved writing them. I really, really did.

When I was a few chapters in, I posted something about English not being my native language (as if that wasn’t obvious -- I had just started writing in English). The amazing @theministerskat saw that post and sent me a dm offering to beta Thermo. She was the first person I talked to on Tumblr and has stayed with me since then, correcting approximately 124,472,539 wrong prepositions in the process. Kat, I hope you haven’t regretted that dm. I can’t thank you enough. Love you.

So, here we are. The last chapter! Thank you all for the love you have shown to this story. Thank you for your reblogs, comments and likes. Thank you for your messages. Thank you for being a part of this journey! You’re amazing.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Chapter 60. An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics

Oxmas.

A little Christmas bubble in Oxford before the end of the term, created for the students to celebrate the holiday together. Even if it had to be a month early.

Music, colourful Christmas markets, trees going up on the streets -- even at the centre of the old Bodleian court. I could never have imagined the Bodleian court looking more beautiful, but apparently, everything looks better with a Christmas tree.

My legs were hurting from the midnight ice-skating Malva, Mary, and Maisri had dragged me to. The three M’s of my Catastrophe, as I called them. But it was fun. A lot of fun. So much fun that I had forgotten myself for a while and laughed with all my heart.

Then I’d remembered that I would never tell him how great midnight ice-skating with friends was.

Him. Sometimes it was difficult even to think of his name, let alone say it.

But life was going on and I was still at Oxford, with friends and our magical Christmas campus. Thinking about how terrible the holiday would be back at home, I decided that I owed it to myself to have a little bit of fun here.

I didn’t want to think about the end of the term. I was supposed to go to the US and then to Lallybroch with Jamie. Lamb wouldn't be in Edinburgh, because when I announced my initial plans he’d decided that he wouldn’t fly back. He was at a critical point in his research, he’d said.

Back then, it was fine. Lamb was happy and he’d eased my guilt for leaving him alone in a single phone call.

It was the reason I still hadn't told Lamb about Jamie. I didn’t want him to come back because his little niece couldn’t handle a break-up. And now, once the term was over, I would spend a month in Edinburgh alone, most probably studying for the next term. The ideal Christmas break. Just awesome.

“You’re still in your pyjamas?” Malva’s eyebrows shot up the moment she entered my dorm room.

“Yes?” I asked confused, as I watched her walking towards me, shaking her head.

“Today is the event at Bodleian’s Old Schools Quad, remember? The one with the projections of maps on the buildings? You said you wanted to go!”

I had said that, but then I forgot about it. It would be amazing, seeing the maps from the Bodleian Library collection projected onto the library’s historic buildings. I shot Malva an apologetic glance and got out of bed. “Give me ten minutes?” I implored, and headed towards my closet.

“We’ll wait for you outside,” she said, before I heard the door click shut.

I wore my favourite pair of jeans and a soft, warm sweater. Boots. A woollen scarf and a beanie, that meant I didn’t have to put any effort into taming my unruly curls. In less than ten minutes, I joined Malva and Mary who were giggling at something next to the front door.

“What?” I asked, walking towards the entrance.

“Well, our little shy daisy here has something to tell you, Claire.”

My eyes shot from Malva’s teasing smile to Mary’s blushing cheeks. “Oh my God! What?”

“It’s nothing!” Mary exclaimed, much louder than normal. Startling herself with her raised voice, her next words came out in a whisper. “It’s nothing, nothing. I’ve only met him once.”

“Him? Who?” I inquired with a grin on my face.

“Alex,” Malva replied instead of Mary, batting her eyelashes and faking a swoon.

“Who is Alex, Mary?”

“This guy,” Mary murmured. “I dropped my scarf last night and he picked it up and gave it back to me. He was so kind, and he smiled…”

“And?” I pushed her, but Mary had hardly heard me, lost in her reverie.

“We were walking in the same direction,” she continued, her voice dreamy. “And we talked, and I don’t know how, but I didn’t stutter at all. He had the most beautiful eyes, and he’s a fresher too.”

“Which college?” Malva asked, chewing her lip. “We should pay him a visit!”

“Nnn-o, no, no.” Mary faltered. “And I don’t know that, anyway. An older guy materialized next to us all of a sudden and told him they had to go. Alex looked at me and said --”

“Till next time,” Malva spoke, imitating a man’s low voice.

“Yes, but not like that, you know,” Mary corrected, smiling and blushing even more. “But he doesn’t have my number and I-- I don’t know how…”

“Come on.” I linked her elbow with mine. “He might be there tonight.”

I was sure Mary hadn’t seen a single projection all night, her eyes scanning the crowd for him, for Alex. It was sweet and honest, and it made my heart hurt. So I focused my attention on the lights dancing on the hundred year old walls. The old and the new, in perfect conjunction. With my eyes on the Old School Quad buildings, I didn’t notice another him until he was standing right next to me.

“That interested in maps, are you?” Robert’s French accent stood out from the British ones around us. I hadn’t seen him since that night at the bar, three days before. We had agreed to go out for drinks again, the way people always do when they say goodbye because they feel like they have to. He had my number and I had his from when we were back in Zambia, but, as expected, neither of us had called.

“It’s enchanting, isn’t it?” I asked in a light voice as I moved my eyes over another projection.

He made a low, affirmative sound, but when I turned my head towards him, he was already looking at me again. “So, how do you find your first Oxmas?”

Robert shrugged. “It’s weird, isn’t it? The term hasn’t finished and I still have to work on an essay for the 26th, but everyone is so cheery. And you know, the trees, the lights…”

“They create a totally different atmosphere,” I finished his thought. “It will be weird when it’s over, going back to the pre-Christmas mood.”

“Definitely,” he agreed. “But I like it.”

“Well, celebrating Christmas twice can’t be bad.”

His eyes changed for a moment, and his mouth became a hard line. Before I had the chance to say something, he smiled.

“Christmas is not my favourite time of the year,” he explained softly.

I was ready to ask how that could be, but I stopped myself in time. His mother. Maybe Christmas brought back memories of family traditions, and his mother was an inextricable part of this time for him. As Ellen had been for Jamie. I wondered whether not having so many memories from my parents was beneficial from time to time. But then, I would give my soul for a few more moments with them.

I took a step towards Robert and squeezed his arm in solidarity. Neither of us spoke, but we didn’t need to.

At some point, Malva disappeared and a bit later I felt someone pinching my arm.

“Ouch!” I turned to look at Mary. “What?” She was blushing again, and when I looked next to her, I saw a skinny guy with brown hair and the sweetest smile who was blushing too.

“I didn’t find him, but he found me,” Mary whispered to me, her eyes shining with happiness. “Do you mind if we leave?”

I bit my lip to stop the smile from growing wider on my face. “No, of course not. Good luck!” I watched them until they disappeared into the crowd.

I spent the rest of the night standing next to Robert, admiring the projections, enjoying the comfortable silence between us, and letting the colours of light sneak into my heart.

“So, what’s the plan now?” he asked once the event was over. He looked around, searching for something. Or someone. “It seems that my friends ditched me,” he observed a moment later.

I snorted. “Yeah, mine too. Not big fans of maps, it seems.”

“Booze sounds better,” he commented.

“Does it?” I wondered.

“Oui. Join me for a pint?” Robert winked at me, then looked nonchalantly at the people leaving the library.

“You know that once I take the beanie off, a jungle of curls will be waiting underneath it?” I half-joked, half-prepared him for what he would see.

Robert laughed, then looked at my beanie as if I was hiding a little monster underneath it.

“You’re right,” he grimaced after a long moment of examination. “We better just walk around.”

His grimace became sincere when he felt my blow to his arm. “You’re an arse,” I added, for good measure.

“I think I’ve heard that one before,” he laughed, rubbing his arm. “That hurt,” he grumbled. “You’re paying for the drinks.”

“Fine! But no hair jokes for the rest of the night!”

“Deal!” he said, tugging on a curl, stretching it out and watching it spring back.

We went to a crowded pub, sat at the only available table in a corner, but Robert didn’t let me pay for the drinks. We talked about life in Oxford, the medical school and his courses on economics, and I tried hard to keep Jamie out of my mind, not to break down just because Robert had some common classes with him. Robert talked about his father’s business in France, and listened to my stories from my travels with Lamb. When we left, he announced that he would walk me back to my dorm, because it was late and he was a gentleman. Ignoring my snort at his description of himself, we started walking towards the dorms of Lady Margaret’s Hall.

It was much quieter now that the events were over, but students were still walking around, laughing, flirting, and giggling. The night was beautiful, and a few stars hung in the clear sky. I took a deep breath and tried to empty my head from all thoughts of my heartbreak. I had fun tonight, and I was allowed to. I was entitled to it.

When we arrived at my dorm, I turned to say goodnight only to find Robert’s face a few inches away from mine. My heart stopped when I felt his hot breath and smelled the peppermint in it, from drops he’d bought from a stall at the Christmas market. I held my breath in turn, knowing that it smelled exactly the same. I had eaten half his peppermint drops on our way back to my dorm.

I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Before I had time to think, Robert tilted his head closer to me, and the next moment he brushed his lips against mine. It was gentle. A start. An invitation for more.

And I freaked out.

I took a hurried step back, raising a hand to my lips and looking at him through wide eyes.

Robert frowned at me, then took a step back, too. “You’re single, aren’t you?” he implored, perplexed.

“How?” I asked, not wanting to affirm his notion.

“How did I know?”

I nodded.

“You haven’t mentioned him once tonight or the other night at the bar, you’re not constantly on your phone texting him and you didn’t send him a picture from the event. Even though you loved it. It wasn’t so hard to figure out,” he concluded and shrugged, his gaze falling on my lips again.

“I guess I’m quite easy to read,” I murmured and heard him chuckle.

“I like that.”

I nodded again, not knowing what to say. The truth. I had to tell him the truth. I was never good at lies, anyway.

“Robert,” I started and his green eyes locked with mine. He was one of those people who didn’t even have to try to look good. Robert was the definition of a handsome man. But that didn’t matter at all. I took a deep breath and continued. “You’re not wrong. Jamie and I, we…” I swallowed, cursing myself for stumbling. “We broke up. But I’m not ready, and I don’t want to move on before I am. It wouldn’t be fair, to either of us.”

Robert nodded and raised his chin, in defeat or acceptance I wasn’t sure, but kept his eyes low on the ground. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, wanting him to look at me again. “I’m still in love with him.”

At that comment, Robert looked at me and gave me a wistful smile. He took a step towards me again and placed a warm, gentle hand on my cheek. His thumb caressed my cheekbone as he murmured something in French, so low that I wasn’t able to catch it. “You’re a good one, Claire,” he said, at last.

“I don’t know about that,” I disagreed.

“I do,” he insisted, then took a step back and turned to leave. I stayed rooted in place. He had only taken two steps away before he turned back again, grinned at me, and said, “See you around, Miss Bennet.”

As I walked up to my room, I wondered whether he was a good one. If I had made a huge mistake by stopping him, by not kissing him back. He was beautiful, smart and witty, even if he was a little bit more cocky and authoritative than I would like.

And yet, kissing him now didn’t feel right.

Robert had a wonderful French accent, and all I wanted to hear was Jamie’s heavy Scottish one.

I fell onto my bed, hating Jamie for ruining my Oxmas, my chances for a future, my life. Hating myself for loving him so much.

Mary came back from her date after midnight. Alex had kissed her and her exhilaration permeated the thick layer of unhappiness that surrounded me. I was happy for her. I was glad she had found someone who was so like her, who could understand her, and care for her. Who didn’t mind if she was shy or stuttered, and saw the lovely person she was.

By the time Mary fell asleep, I couldn’t find it in me to be upset anymore. But I couldn’t force myself to be happy either. I slipped into my semi-depressed state with ease, and when I realized sleep wasn’t a choice anymore, I put on my thickest winter coat and headed out to the gardens.

I don’t know how long I sat by the river, crying, while trying to stop my stupid heart from suffocating me. At last, I lay down on the cold grass, closed my eyes and wondered what kind of an idiot I would be if I ended up with pneumonia. Maybe that would be enough of a shock to delete Jamie from my mind.

Maybe.

I woke up with the dawn overtaking the night sky and a hand holding mine. My heart began beating faster and faster, and I closed my eyes again, trying to figure out what to do. This wasn’t a woman’s hand. It wasn’t Mary’s, or Malva’s. It was a big, warm, male hand that seemed strangely familiar. But who was I to be sure about the familiarity of hands? I resolved to leap to my feet, take a look at the person lying beside me, and if I didn’t know him, run back to my dorm as fast as I could.

But then he spoke. And his voice was a balm that soothed reality away.

“If I lay here, if I just lay here, will you lie with me and just forget the world?”

My heart stopped and I felt my eyes grow abnormally wide as I opened them again. I tried to breathe, but I couldn’t. I tried to react, to turn and look at him, but I was afraid that he was just a dream and the moment I turned he would dissolve into thin air. He had spoken to me in my dreams before. He had never been there when I had woken up.

“But you’ve never touched me,” I croaked with effort.

“What?” His whisper was barely audible. Tentative.

“You’ve never touched me in my dreams before.”

A chuckle. “Yeah, bummer.” His voice quivered and a shiver ran down my spine. “I couldn’t touch you in my dreams either, Sassenach, and I decided to do something about it.”

My whole body tensed.

The gall of him.

I sat up so quickly the world tilted on its axis for a few seconds. When I found my bearings again, I slowly turned to look at him.

God, he was beautiful. Those red curls, the bright blue eyes, the wide mouth. I suddenly realized why I couldn’t kiss Robert. His soft brown locks, his shining green eyes, his full lips -- they were all wrong. Perfect, but wrong.

A small smile curled Jamie’s lips and I realized he was drinking me in too.

And then it hit me. The hurt, the desperation, the anger.

“What are you doing here.” It wasn’t a question. It was an interrogation. I set my jaw, resolute to be rigid, determined not to cry.

“I had to see you,” he said in a low voice and moved to take my hand. I snatched it away from him.

“Why? Are you trying to establish a new tradition? Do we have to see each other once a month now that we’re not together?”

“Twenty-six days,” he countered.

“What?” I asked incredulously.

“It’s been twenty-six days since that night.”

That night. I knew exactly how many days it had been. A part of me had died over the course of each one of those days. I kept my hard gaze on Jamie for a long moment, then stood up. “Well, you saw me. Now, goodbye, Jamie.”

“Claire!” he yelled, alarmed, as he sprang up and rushed to me. “Wait.” He towered over me and grabbed my arm, afraid I would leave if he didn’t have a proper hold on me. I didn’t know if he was wrong about that. I wanted to get away, far away from him. Even looking at him hurt. “Please, Sassenach.”

“What do you want?” Ice infused my tone.

“I need to talk to you.”

I didn’t want to listen to him, and yet, I wished for him to tell me everything. I wanted to know his heart, his thoughts. I needed answers, so many answers, but just looking at him and knowing he had decided he didn’t want to be mine was stealing my breath. He was here, but he wasn’t my Jamie anymore.

I took a step to leave and heard him gasp, as if I had shot him. I froze in place, balling my hands into fists.

I was fighting with myself, struggling to find what I wanted, and how much more pain I could handle. I closed my eyes, trying to set my feelings in order before they could choke me.

I felt like I was four again, standing in the aisle with the chocolate bars at the grocery store and trying to choose one. It was one of the few memories I had with my dad, shopping together. I will never forget how I had stared and stared at the chocolates, licking my lips as if I were imagining their taste on my tongue, trying to decide which one I should put in our cart. And then, surprising myself, I had suddenly started crying. Soon my silent tears turned into wailing, bringing my dad’s attention back to me.

“What's wrong, Claire?” he had asked, eyebrows scrunched in a frown.

But I couldn't answer his question. I hadn’t known what was wrong. I only knew that I wanted to do what he had asked and choose only one chocolate, but I also wanted to buy all of them. And I felt tired, too tired to decide. I only wanted my mum, because mum would know which chocolate was the best. So I kept crying, and crying, until my breath came in gasps, and my dad's face was blurry in front of me.

He had held my shoulders and pulled me into a hug, then, his big hand drawing circles on my back to soothe me.

“In here,” he had said afterwards, tapping lightly on my chest, “Snuggle our feelings. And they are so many, sweetheart, that sometimes they don't talk to each other and try to get out of our chest all at once. And we start crying, because we are confused and we don't know how to feel. I want you to take a deep breath, stop crying, and tell me what's wrong.”

And with my father squatting in front of me, his hands tucking errand curls behind my ears, I had told him that I didn't know what I wanted.

I felt the same now, only that I was not four anymore, and I couldn’t throw a fit. Jamie was here, standing in front of me, looking me through pleading eyes, and he was all the chocolates. And yet, I couldn't have him. I couldn't trust him, not anymore, but I didn't want to leave either. I couldn't.

So I inhaled. Exhaled. In and out, again and again, following my dad’s advice. My coat was soaked from lying on the grass for so many hours, and my hands felt like ice cubes. And I decided to listen to him.

“Let’s go find a bench. My arse is freezing.”

I started walking and heard him falling in step behind me, undoing the zipper of his insulated jacket. “Here,” he offered, catching up with me in two wide strides.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I dismissed him, keeping my chin high.

“Please, Sassenach.”

“Don’t call me that!” I hissed, breathing hard. He had decided that I was not his Sassenach before he made that video call. I was plain Claire to him now, and he had better deal with it.

“Please, Claire,” he repeated, rectifying his slip.

I took his jacket begrudgingly and wore it. It was dry and warm, and it smelled like him.

Dammit.

Two minutes later we were sitting on a bench, watching the sky changing from a deep blue to a lighter one. It was beautiful. This would be one of my favourite moments with him if his surprise had happened a month ago. Now, however, I could feel the bitter taste of these twenty-six days in my throat every time I swallowed.

“I’ll hear you.”

“Can I hold yer hands, please?”

“No.” My voice was colder than my hands as I shoved them into his jacket pockets.

Jamie took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. It was such a simple gesture and so him, that I felt my heart clench inside my chest. “I miss ye, Claire,” he whispered. “Every moment, every day.”

I resolved not to talk until he was done, and to keep any tears at bay. I would not cry. I would not.

“I miss ye when I wake up and I don’t find yer text on my phone. I miss ye when the guys do something funny and I can’t text you to laugh with you about it. I miss ye when I finish training and I can’t call ye to see how ye’re doing. I miss ye when I go back to the dorm and canna talk to ye about my day. I wake up every day, knowing that no matter what happens I willna be happy, Claire... I canna think of myself without ye.”

Fuck my resolution. I had to speak.

“You didn’t seem to have any problem with that, twenty-six days ago,” I deadpanned.

“I was a fool.” Jamie’s voice trembled. “I thought… I thought breaking up would be hard, but we’d get over it and then everything would be easier for both of us. I could see ye struggling here, and I couldna even hug you when ye needed me, when ye were tired from long hours in the library. Ye couldna come to my races or be there to calm me down when I was stressed. Another guy in the team broke up with his girlfriend who lived in another State and he got over it, eventually. And we arena in different States, Claire. We live on different continents,” he explained as if that detail had eluded me. “I felt torn all the time, between ye and my life in the US. I ken that I was the one who changed our plans, I was the one who went to Michigan--”

“I never said anything about our plans. I never complained, and I supported your decision from the very first moment. I was the one who told you to go. That is not why we broke up. We broke up because you stopped believing in us. Because you wanted somebody who would be closer to you.”

“No!” he protested, his gaze bore into mine with insistence and flame. “No, not somebody. Not anybody. I wanted ye to be close to me, and I thought that if we were in a long-distance relationship for years the pain of not seeing each other would become too much, until we couldna take it anymore. Or what we had would become less. I thought that we would gradually fall apart, and I didna want that. I thought that we didna have any other option, Sassenach. Every time that ye missed one of my calls, or I missed yers, I became more sure of it. Then I thought…” he trailed off.

“What? What else did you think, Jamie?” I prompted, impatient. He was a mess but I didn’t feel merciful in that moment to go soft on him. Not after everything I had been through.

“I thought if we were destined to be together, maybe we would find each other again once ended up in the same country. But now I know, Claire. I dinna want to find ye again after how ever many years, and realize that ye don’t want to be mine anymore. That there is a big part of yer life that I know nothing about. I dinna want to miss yer first day in the OR, or yer graduation. I dinna want to miss yer smiles after yer tutorials, even if I can only see them through a screen. I dinna ken what I was thinking when I believed I could do it without you, but I can’t. I can’t and I don’t want to be without you.”

I huffed, partly because I didn’t want to let his words have an impact on me. “Twenty-six days. Took you long enough.”

“I tried, at first. I tried to go on, to tuck you into a corner of my heart and keep living. But I couldn’t, Sassenach, because all of my heart was yers. I could have come to find you after those first few days. And maybe I should have, but I didna, because I wanted to be sure. But no matter how hard I tried, living without ye didna become easier. It became harder. I kent how I was with ye, and now I ken how it is to live without ye. It sucks, Claire. I’m miserable without ye. All I could think of this past month--”

“Twenty-six days,” I interrupted him.

He smiled, shaking his head. “I love ye. A Dhia, I love ye so much it hurts. Twenty-six days. All I could think of was ye, Sassenach. How I wanted to share everything with ye. How I needed to ken where ye are, what ye’re doing, and how ye feel. I missed ye with every breath I took. And now I ken that I canna go on without ye.”

I’d resolved not to cry, but treacherous tears were rolling down my cheeks without asking for my permission.

“And how do I know that you won’t change your mind again? How can I trust you again, Jamie?” My question found its target in his heart, and I saw his sharp intake of breath from the impact. “You broke my heart,” I whispered, as an explanation. “You broke me.”

He looked down for a moment, but quickly locked his eyes on mine again. “I fucked up. I know I did. Forgive, mo nighean donn. Forgive me, please.” He paused for a moment, and extended his hand between us, palm facing up. He didn’t remove it when I didn’t move to take it, and he continued. “All I’m asking for is another chance. One chance, Sassenach. If ye’re not ready, if ye need time, I can wait. I will wait for as long as it takes.”

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think time would change how I felt. I loved him, I knew I did. But he had given up on us, yielding to his fears. He didn’t believe we would make it through all the years of our separation. He had chosen a life without me and broke me in the process.

Well, and he regretted it. It was clear that he did. I could see it as much in the pain in his eyes as I could hear it in his voice when he spoke.

I watched Jamie’s chest rising and falling with every breath he took while he waited for me to say something. His hair was a mess from all the times he had run his hand through it. I wanted to fix it, and then run my fingers over his cheekbones, over the curve of his lips. And yet, I was frozen in my place. Not even to take his hand that lay on the bench between us.

“How can we ever be the same again?” I asked, unsure. I started caving in, and I didn’t know how to feel about it.

“I dinna want us to be the same. D’ye remember the first time I talked to ye?” he asked with a timid smile. “In Mrs. Fitz’s class, ye were keeping notes on the first law of thermodynamics.”

I didn’t know where he was going with that, but I stayed silent and let him go on.

“The conservation of energy. Nothing is lost, Sassenach; only changed. And I don’t care if we change, as long as we change together. This… Me without ye… It was an interruption in the first law of thermodynamics. Because I was lost. And that’s against the laws of physics.”

I laughed. This was ridiculous. Jamie blushed, and then laughed with me.

“I ken what I want now, Claire. I want ye. I want us. And I will fight for us, if ye let me, because what we had -- what we have -- it’s true. It’s truer than anything I will ever get. It’s more than I could ever ask for.”

I kept my eyes on the river, the grass, the sky. I felt my heart beating faster in response to his words, as if each time he spoke he glued another of its broken parts back in place.

“All I’m asking for, is a chance,” Jamie implored. “A chance to prove myself to ye, mo ghraidh.”

��A chance,” I murmured, trying to sort the tangle of emotions in my chest.

He came closer, now brave enough to take my hands out of my pockets and wrap them in his. “I know ye and ye know me. Ye’re the only person in the world that really knows me. Ye’re my heart and my soul Claire, and I canna leave without them, can I?” Without taking his eyes from me, he leaned into me and kissed me gently on the lips.

And damn him, it felt right. But I didn’t kiss him back. I had more to say.

“You didn’t talk to me.” I kept my voice calm. “You had all these thoughts in your head, and you left me here in the dark, thinking that everything was alright on your end. And when you made up your mind, you just called me to announce the verdict of a trial I didn’t participate in.”

Jamie opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again. I guess there was nothing he could say that wouldn’t be a lie. He had decided for both of us.

“This…” I started again. “This is not how things work, how relationships work. If you have second thoughts, I need to know. If you need something I’m not giving you, I need to know. If you believe that we’re fucking falling apart,” I finally barked, unable to keep the anger from my voice, “I. Need. To. Know.”

Jamie nodded, but I was far from finished. “What we’re trying to do is bloody hard. We need to talk, and talking includes the unpleasant discussions too. I’m not going to try again without knowing that you’ll do that.”

“I give ye my word, Claire. We will make this work. I will do anything I can to make sure it does.”

“Will you talk to me? Always?” There was no ice or blaze in my voice now. Just a question. A sincere question that demanded an honest answer.

“Always,” Jamie vowed and leaned into me. “I will not give up on us, ever again,” he whispered on my lips, and I drank the words in.

I had trusted him with my heart before and he broke it. But he was right when he said that I knew him. And I knew he’d torn his own heart apart in the process too. I could still see the pain in the way his sweater hung a little too wide on him, in the black bags underneath his blue eyes. I looked into his eyes, those eyes I knew better than my own, and saw the truth in them.

“One chance, Jamie Fraser. You won’t get another.”

“I willna need another. Ye’re mine and I’m yers, and I will never let you go again.”

“Promise?” I asked, as if that would seal the deal. As if his promise would secure my happiness.

“Promise,” Jamie nodded emphatically, his eyes overflowing with tears that split when he closed them and kissed me again.

And this time, I kissed him back. It was long, and soft, and encompassing. It was an offering of his soul, and I took it, keeping it safe inside my chest. A treasure and a hostage.

“Plus,” Jamie said once we stopped to catch our breath. “I offer you a chance to torture me forever for making the worst mistake of my life.”

I laughed, cupped his cheeks and kissed him again.

I closed my eyes. Life was nothing but chances and choices. Decisions. Paths waiting for us to take them. A huge aisle with chocolate bars.

I looked towards the path in front of me and I saw Jamie and me together -- arguing, fighting, kissing, laughing. I saw a man who wasn’t flawless, but was mine. I saw a future that wasn’t perfect, but was real.

I saw happy moments and sad ones. I saw difficulties and dreams coming true. I saw us facing life with our hands clasped tightly together.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw a risk, but a risk worth taking.

“Challenge accepted, Jamie Fraser.”

And just like that, the next chapter of our lives began.

#thermodynamics #the first law of thermodynamics #jamie x claire #high school AU #college AU #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction #last chapter!#I can't believe it!

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creativity-is-rebellion · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Favourite Movies I Have Seen (So Far)

How to Make an American Quilt (1994)

I’m not sure exactly why, but I have always had a thing for intergenerational movies that go back and forth in time, which I think that this movie does superbly. You get to know each of the character’s backstories, and it is also a coming-of-age film where the main protagonist must choose a path and be happy with the one she goes down. This was a film I would watch again and again as a teenager when I was sad (movie marathons were always the cure for my blues back then). More recently, there are other reasons why this movie appeals to me; I can relate to Finn’s thesis-writing (I know it’s frustrating and easy to distract yourself from), and I can also relate with her dilemma in choosing what kind of future she will have. Also, Winona Ryder can do no wrong. Winona forever.

The Joy Luck Club (1993)

Another intergenerational film, I think it does a great job of juxtaposing the difference between parents who immigrate to another country and their children who do not really understand the sacrifices they have made to actually get there, which can cause rifts and divides. It does this specifically with the Chinese culture in mind, which is fascinating in its own right, and quite different to the US, which is where they immigrate to. The daughters who try to understand their mothers are able to bridge the divide when they are able to empathise with where their parents are coming from, by the parents telling them tales of their origins. My favourite character is hands-down Ying-Ying St. Clair, whose backstory is definitely the most tragic. In China, Ying-Ying was happily married to Lin-Xiao (Russell Wong) with a baby boy in China until Lin-Xiao abuses her and abandons her for an opera singer. Overwhelmed by her depression, Ying-Ying begins to dissociate and accidentally drowns their baby son in the bathtub during one of these episodes, which haunts her ever afterwards. Years later, she has emigrated to America and suffers from trauma of her past, worrying her new family, including her daughter Lena. When she is able to get Lena find her voice and to leave her own abusive husband, Harold. I have nothing but love for this film, which breathes life into Amy Tan’s equally beautiful novel. This film adaptation does the novel proud; It’s well-acted, well-told, and simply just heart-warming.

Sinister (2008)

I love myself a good horror movie, and Sinister flips the script by starting out as a crime mystery before going bananas and introducing Mr. Boogie (or Bughuul), a pagan demon who manipulates the lives of children, having them kill their families, until he can consume the child's soul. Ethan Hawke, who both directs and stars in this film, does a phenomenal acting job as washed-up crime author Ellison Oswalt, who moves his family into one of the homes which was the scene of one of the ‘crimes’, where a whole family has been massacred and one child is missing. It isn’t long until he finds a bunch of 8mm tapes in the attic, which represent the equivalent of snuff films, detailing previous family massacres occurring elsewhere. Seriously, some of these 8mm tapes are both difficult but strangely thrilling to watch, due to their haunting quality. It takes him a while before he becomes aware of Bughuul, who he discovers hiding in the corner of one of the tapes, and who he is able to get to know about with the help of a rookie cop and a professor. The ending is also a delicious twist, and indicates the inevitability of not being able to escape evil. Seriously, it’s a must-watch, as it breathes rare new life into the tired horror genre.

Insidious, Chapter One (2010)

Another worthy 21st century horror addition, the Insidious franchise (especially the first film) delivers some great twists, and creates a rich universe way beyond any ordinary haunted house or child-plagued-by-demon trope, by introducing some genuinely scary characters (The Lipstick Demon, Doll Girl, and the Bride in Black, anyone?!), and also introducing The Further, a dark and timeless astral world filled with tortured dead souls and nightmarish spirits. I love the twist that the end of this movie delivers, and also the appropriate jump-scares throughout. It is yet another horror movie that breathes life into a somewhat tired genre. 10/10, I highly recommend this movie, even if The Lipstick Demon looks kinda like Darth Maul, lol.

Reality Bites (1994)

Although it’s kind of aged badly, due to advancing technology, this movie was one of the first to introduce the idea of reality television, whilst also capturing the zeitgeist of Generation X, with it’s rather nihilist message about life after college, and the trials and tribulations of growing up. Some of the characters (especially Lelaina and Troy) are self-indulgent, immature, intellectually snobby and navel-gazing, but you root for Lelaina to succeed because she is played with enough sympathy by the amazing and incomparable Winona Ryder that we believe she deserves better. This is one of the reasons I hate that she ends up with Troy, even if he is the broody bad boy we are all expected to swoon over. Seriously, he treats Lelaina so badly that I just want to punch him in the face. It also has some great side characters, like Vicky, who works at The Gap, but is scared to find a real job, and Sammy, who is gay and afraid that he may have HIV. It is also relatable for me as a Millenial who graduated from university when the Global Financial Crisis (GFC) hit, making it complicated to find a good job, mirroring the recession that these characters graduated into. I love that it talks about pivotal Generation X issues, as well as universal issues that encompass growing up and moving into adulthood. Also, again, Winona forever.

Candyman (1992)

Candyman is a horror film that subverts horror movie expectations whilst still managing to deliver some great scares. Being set in the long-gone notorious Chicago housing projects Cabrini Green, a name synonymous with vice, violence and murder, and a place which instils non-supernatural horror in an individual all on its own, tells the story of thesis student Helen, who is researching urban legends, and through her participants, she learns the story of Candyman, a vengeful rendition of the classic Bloody Mary, who will split you from groin to gullet with his hook for a hand if you say his name five times in the mirror.

The people who recount this legend go on to recount a notorious murder that has taken place recently in Cabrini Green which has been attributed to Candyman, and Helen chooses to investigate the claim. Helen rationalises that the residents of Cabrini Green use the legend of Candy Man to cope with their stressful daily lives. Before visiting Cabrini Green, Helen and her research associate decide to test the theory by saying ‘Candy Man’ five times in a mirror, but nothing happens, at least not yet. In real life, the murder rate in Cabrini Green peaked in 1992, the same year that Candy Man was made. Candy Man himself (played with great aplomb by the legendary Tony Todd) doesn’t show up until around 44 minutes into the movie, but when he does, he steals the show with his dangerous charisma.

In total, Candy Man subverts 3 horror rules: Number one, that you need to have a high body count to keep audiences engaged. By doing so, it stretches out the tension for as long as it can. Number two, there is a Black antagonist. There were some issues addressed by Black critics that this depiction played into some racist stereotypes, such as the idea that Black people need a White saviour, that Black people are especially superstitious, and that Black men prefer to pursue White women. But one could say that Candy Man is more a depiction of the White fears associated with Black poverty, and specifically, White Liberal fears that Black poverty can’t be helped, despite their best efforts. Helen doesn’t mean any harm (some may even call her an ally), yet she dies anyway.

By making the antagonist Black, the film becomes about so much more than just visceral horror, it is about societal, racial and historical horror as well, albeit told from a White perspective. It also plays into the fear that Black people, through no fault of their own, could be killed for no reason at all but panicky neighbours. Finally, number three, this film is more sad than scary; sadness tends to be the most common negative emotion that I experience, so I am drawn to movies that have something to say about it. The only reason Candy Man gives for wanting to kill Helen is that she demystified him, which seems pretty petty and vindictive. She is also supposed to resemble his long-lost love that got him killed in the first place. When Candy Man kills the psychiatrist in the movie, it is literally the only on-screen proof we have that Candy Man isn’t just a figment of Helen’s imagination. Candy Man, like my most favourite horror film, The Shining, begs the question: Are there really supernatural elements at play here, or is the main character simply going insane? Phew, this was more than I planned to write, but I guess this film is complex enough to warrant it. See it for yourself.

Final Destination (2000)

As time wore on, the Final Destination franchise became more well-known for its gruesome deaths (and tired plot) than anything else, but the first addition was a fresh take on the inescapability of death, and the vengance Death Itself may take if you screw with his Design. The first 15 minutes of the film are truly thrilling through the main character Alex’s premonition, and the wait after the gang have been kicked off the airline for the plane to blow up without them on board. Seriously, that scene gave me aerophobia more than any Air Crash Investigation episode. What follows are some truly twisted, macabre domino-like deaths that prove that Death has a wicked, dark sense of humour. That every character in this franchise dies eventually is kind of disappointing, and definitely places Death in this franchise as possibly the most diabolical villain in all of the horror genre (move over, Jason and Michael and Freddy). The mysterious undertaker played with delightful maliciousness again by Tony Todd adds to the mystery of understanding Death’s Design. and the reality that no matter what the survivors do, Death will eventually come for them, really adds to the overall hopelessness and nihilism of the whole situation. The way that the last film of the Final Destination franchise, which is really a prequel to the first film, rounded out the franchise really well, and provided a twist as good as the original film was epic. If you are going to watch any of the films in this franchise, I cannot recommend the first and last film enough.

Now and Then (1996)

I love this film more for the cheesy, feel-good memories of my childhood it gives me. Christina Ricci is also one of my all-time favourite actresses (I absolutely loved her as Wednesday Addams), which just bolsters this movie in my eyes. Thora Birch does a good job as well. But seriously, I can pop this movie on any time and it’ll just make me instantly happy for a simpler era. Even if I wasn’t born in the 60′s or 70′s, there is a lot to relate to about bridging the gaps between childhood and the inevitable teen cross-over. I mean, who didn’t have seances in graveyards with their friends as a 12-year-old girl? No-one?! Just me then. OK. Ahem. I think my favourite character was hands-down Gabby Hoffman’s Sam, who is trying to cope with her parent’s divorce in a town and time when divorce is unheard of. I like that her grown-up character played by Demi Moore is a successful writer, and is also the narrator of the entire movie. If you want to watch a truly feel-good movie that promotes feminist ideals, this movie is for you.

IT: Chapter One (2017)

Since I watched the 1990 TV miniseries in 1992 at the tender age of 7 (my parents never monitored what I watched - which sometimes led to some gnarly nightmares), I have been waiting for a worthy remake. I, like most of the aficionados that watched the miniseries, loved Tim Curry’s rendition of the demonic entity of IT, but weren’t quite happy about the spider ending. If you’ve seen it, you know what I mean. You may be asking why I haven’t included Chapter Two that came out this year (2019), and the reason is, despite Bill Hader’s wonderful performance as the grown-up Ritchie, a cameo by Stephen King himself, and more screen-time for Bill Skarsgaard’s scary clown, the ending here was also disappointing. IT’s true form just doesn’t seem to translate well onto screen. It was adequate. Meh. Anywho.

IT Chapter One, however, is awesome. Instead of jumping back-and-forth in time like both the mini-series and the book did, it focuses on the well-acted ‘Loser’s Club’ as kids, and is truly scary like this story should be. The bully Henry Bowers is truly sociopathic, and Bill Skarsgaard as IT truly nails the fact that IT is so much more than just a killer clown. The death scene with Georgie at the beginning of the film is quite subversive and daring, as it actually shows you the death of a child in all its gory detail. My verdict? Watch the first with gusto, but do not expect anything great from Part Two. Part Two has to exist for continuity, but the first film outshines the second installment in every way possible.

Lady Bird (2017)

For an Indie sleeper film, this story is fantastic as both a coming-of-age film and a depiction of separating from your parents and becoming your own person. Ladybird’s mum is overprotective, and Ladybird needs to break free, whilst also trying not to cause a permanent rift. She’s a different kind of gal, sensitive, intelligent, artistic, and so not meant for a dead-end small town. Her transition toward independence is extremely relatable to me, as I grew up with an over-bearing, interfering mother myself. Also, it’s set in 2002, the year I graduated, with adds to my feelings of nostalgia. It’s the relatablity of Ladybird that makes it so re-watchable to me. I grew up in a dead-end town, was creative and different to my peers, and went to a fancy private school that I didn’t fit into as well. So Ladybird is a cinematic delight as you see her progress to something more hopeful in the future. A must-watch.

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falkenscreen · 5 years ago

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Midsommar

Midsommar, as with Director Ari Aster’s debut feature Hereditary, is one of its respective year’s most hyped horrors. Coming off possibly the most overrated film of 2018, Aster’s second feature is a dramatic improvement though never nearly so good as that it emulates.

Following a shocking family tragedy, Dani (Florence Pugh) spontaneously follows her long-term boyfriend Christian (Jack Reynor) and his thesis-chewing chums Josh (The Good Place’s William Jackson Harper) and Mark (Will Poulter) to the idyllic hills of Sweden and their other stalwart Pelle’s (Vilhelm Blomgren) childhood commune. Hiking to a picturesque summerscape at his urging bathed in flowers, sunlight and not complete without the requisitely bedecked wooden pole, the ever-curious troupe are here to witness a once in 90-year pagan Festival of which the outside world knows little.

By coincidence or design, Midsommar bears a striking resemblance to Alex Garland’s own 2018 hit Annihilation. Itself commencing with a family tragedy, in coming to terms with her grief it’s lead accompanies a group of foreigners venturing far into uncharted, picturesque, foreboding land. Encountering an apparently symbiotic relationship between those within and nature, both films notably deploy near identical imagery at times and feature fantastically symbolic treatises on the environment and belief in that higher.

Whereas Annihilation attempted to outline a not-so-casual link between that thematically discernible and colourfully rendered, fairly with clunky exposition and a painful roll credits moment, Midsommar regretfully lets us languish in the dark. Near sparingly throughout are there even remote explanations of the pagan lore so essential to our understanding as well as our emotional and intellectual investment herein. As if we are meant to buy into this simply for the imagery and practices being resplendent before us, the creators either presume a knowledge of this subject matter matching Josh’s own post-graduate obsession nay imparted, or, more relevant to the majority of viewers, have just taken it for granted that faux awareness of such traditions garnered from Midsommar’s precursors will deliver enough ah-hah moments. It doesn’t.

As a consequence Midsommar is derivative in no small part of films which seek to depict such communities and distractingly so, most notably The Wicker Man and of more recent fare The Witch. Both of those films however (and too even the unintentionally hilarious Nic Cage remake) sought to situate us in this world via some form of explanation of that with which we must contend. There was ample scope in Midsommar for non-expository backgrounders given the presence of so many self-touted academics, but no such luck.

Curiously, Midsommar even borrows some visuals and mainstays of Aster’s own Hereditary. Seeing such for the first time only this year past was shocking; seeing said for the second time in so many years, as with the reliance on that familiar from classic horror and filmic paganism, is not only less impacting but in being so blatantly recollective has the effect of taking you out of the movie.

Yet more distracting is the extent to which Midsommar furthers the tiredest tropes of horror bands. The Cabin in the Woods hilariously sent up the one-note shocker caricatures emblematic of horror fare, among them the stoner fool, the athlete/jock and of course the scholar. Aster’s figures don’t fit exactly into Whedon’s mocking template but they come pretty close.

On the matter of all the ‘outsiders’ being so educated, as soon as you start to think about the premise the more this wears thin. It’s not simply that a group of smart people would neglect the opportunity to confer, band together and extricate themselves from that which is fairly foreboding, but rather that no such group would more than reasonably find themselves in this given situation nor be sought for such a circumstance.

Sure, suspension of disbelief is more often than not essential to enjoying an otherwise good horror films but the better ones don’t ask this of us. Had this scenario sought to be that much more believable, these apparently wealthy, educated, British and American post-graduate students with likely more than a few friends wouldn’t have been our main characters.

To further that analogous to both The Wicker Man and The Witch, both notably managed to maintain suspense until the very end and questions as to which characters or sets of characters knew more than us or others, who wasn’t letting on and where that sinister lay. In this outing all becomes clear around the commencement of the third act (with about forty minutes left to go) when, due to, among other instances, a blatant action by one character to coax another, much of the conclusion emerges as evident fait accompli and it’s very apparent who stands where. This occurring in no small part due to the film’s 147-minute length, overrunning Midsommar’s welcome and hitherto-built tension, what we are left with is Aster’s imagery.

Much of the production design and visuals are gorgeous even if their like are ever-recurring. In part a consequence of much of the feature being shot in one central location, Aster largely settles on motifs and elemental symbolism which resonated even the first few dozen times. The drug-like haze and soon drug-induced haze as the crew gradually make their way from Stockholm down the highway into the woods are among Midsommar’s best visual flairs; the camera tilting on it’s head as we zoom along or otherwise capturing lushly colourful vistas in broad daylight.

Together proffering a reasonable interpretation that much more of this film is metaphorically-focused than the action might suggest, Aster also achieves the rare quality of rendering that most terrifying in broad daylight and beyond this brightness itself especially eerie. No doubt a work that will be pored over in depth, a very deliberate aside to Pelle’s own familial past among else should engender speculation that Midsommar, even absent the heavy drug use, plays fast and loose with time.

Best making use of the scenery in a shocking sequence taking place at a cliff, Aster lets the camera linger on that which transpires in a manner rarely restrained for horror fare, inviting surprise and shock not only for it’s grotesqueness but for the upending plaintive manner in which it is captured. This scene is however undermined by the simple, inescapable fact that someone, anyone would have informed the newcomers of what was going to occur; their apparently distracting reactions being beyond predictable.

Shrewdly laying the groundwork in parts by foreshadowing blatantly how that horrific will play out to the extent that one character, when pressed, even tells another their intentions and in a manner which causes us to question that we’ve just seen, Midsommar too manages to regularly one-up itself and that telegraphed with increasingly disquieting encounters. Baring the shocking truth so obviously that we’re disinclined to believe it nor connect those few dots is a classic magician’s trick and it works well here. As with Hereditary’s most redeeming quality, Midsommar hides it’s biggest reveals in plain sight, lending their consequence a satisfying air when uncovered and the more so for having been tipped with touches of misdirecting humour.

Too dispensing with a needless, hackneyed explanation of just why can’t anyone reach the outside world, the setting itself imparts an evident lack of ability to herald any far-flung cavalry. Having spent this summer past in rural Sweden, this author can attest to the lack of signal in stretches.

Florence Pugh is reliably very good and goes a long way to selling even that most outrageous. Comparably Reynor is no match for those around him, a drug-addled scene and it’s repercussions among previous and ensuing moments when he is front and centre failing to engage on a basic dramatic level when suspense was always called for; Midsommar being decidedly in the suspense-horror genre rather than simply conforming to the latter. Harper convinces throughout though Poulter is best of all, imbuing Mark’s apparently friendly encounters with the locals and requisite reactions with instinctive lightheartedness accompanied by a sinister foreboding; ensuring Mark takes things just seriously enough that we too remain uneasy, unsure and very nonplussed.

A mixed bag, Midsommar isn’t nearly so overrated as its creator’s precursor even if it seldomly makes exceptional use of its ample time.

Midsommar is in cinemas now

#midsommar #jack reynor #florence pugh #xl #reviews #will poulter #william jackson harper

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keepingupwithlinmanuel · 7 years ago

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‘In the Heights’ 10 Years Later: From ‘Vague Promises’ to a Broadway Smash (Exclusive)

When Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote the initial draft of his first musical, In the Heights, it was an 80-minute, one-act show with music that sounded like a hip-hop version of Rent combined with Marc Anthony. It was 1999 and Miranda was a sophomore in college at Wesleyan University in Connecticut, itching to write his “dream show” because he wanted a “life in musicals.”

“The version was not for credit. I just really needed to write it,” Miranda told ET following a celebration of the musical at BroadwayCon at the Javits Center in New York City, where members of the original cast and crew reunited 10 years after the show opened at the Richard Rodgers Theatre on March 9, 2008.

The winner of four Tony Awards, including Best Musical and nominated for the Pulitzer Prize in Drama, In the Heights follows a bodega owner (Miranda) and other residents of a largely Hispanic American community in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan over the course of three days. The original cast included Mandy Gonzalez, Christopher Jackson, Karen Olivo, Priscilla Lopez, Janet Dacal, Andréa Burns, Carlos Gomez, Olga Merediz, Robin de Jesús, Eliseo Román and Seth Stewart.

Following a big showcase on campus, Miranda put his first draft in a drawer and let it sit there for two years after getting “vague promises” from friends of friends, saying they’d reach out once they’d started their own production company. “Who on Earth makes good on a promise like that?” he joked. Sure enough, they did. “They came to see my senior thesis and I met Tommy Kail for the first time the week after I graduated. The fact that we clicked so immediately was the greatest luck of my life.”

Three years later, In the Heights premiered in 2005 at the Eugene O’Neill Theater Center in Waterford, Connecticut, before moving Off-Broadway to 37 Arts Theatre in 2007. It then ran on Broadway for 29 previews and 1,184 performances before closing on Jan. 9, 2011.

Like Kail, who was the musical’s director, the production marked the first time Miranda partnered with composer Alex Lacamoire and choreographer Andy Blankenbuehler. All four worked together on Hamilton, which also saw many members of the original Heights cast reuniting with Miranda. “The hardest part about this business is finding collaborators who are on the same page, and I found that really early,” boasted Miranda. “That was the head start -- finding someone who understands what you’re making.” When it came down to making music edits, the show’s book writer, Quiara Alegría Hudes, who joined the creative team in 2004, says Miranda worked best under pressure. “Every time [Lin] got story notes, he would write a new song,” she quipped.

One song was written at three in the morning before a workshop performance later that day. “Piragua (Reprise)” was conceived on a 10-minute break during tech rehearsals on Broadway. But there were dozens of other songs Miranda wrote at various stages of the show’s development that never made it into the final version, including a solo for Jackson’s Benny. “That song exists because Chris was like, ‘Where’s my Act II solo?’ for, like, three years,” Miranda teased.

The first piece of music Miranda ever wrote for the show, surprisingly, never made it to the final cut. “It was a song about Benny coming out of his own Jean-Claude Van Damme movie and how cool that movie was,” Miranda said, revealing that the first set of lyrics he wrote that has any DNA in the Broadway version was the phrase “In Washington Heights.” When Miranda first wrote those five notes, he said, “Nina was coming home from Yale [which was later changed to Stanford] on Metro North. The lyrics eventually became part of the opening number and title song ‘In the Heights’ and sung by the company.”

While Miranda was unknown at the time, many of the actors recalled the same energy exuded by the creator when they met him at auditions in the basement of Manhattan’s Drama Book Shop. “It was electric in the room. I had never seen anyone like Lin,” remembered Gonzalez, who played Nina. “I knew I wanted to be a part of it forever.” Broadway veteran Lopez (Camilla) had just finished another show when she was given a CD with some songs. “Before I knew it, I was in love hearing the music,” she said. Merediz, who played Abuela Claudia, was confused when she first learned of the show. “My agent called me and said, ‘It’s a show...they’re rappers.’ I said, ‘Rapping? What do you mean rapping?’” But Olivo (Vanessa) was in awe on Day 1. “When I heard the music, I was like, ‘Who’s letting this dude do this?’ He was a superhero in my head.”

“As soon as Karen walked in with her hair down to here like she owned the place, that was it,” Miranda said, adding: “There was no shortage of talent. There was no shortage of talent of people of color. I have five companies of Hamilton to prove it.”

Many in the cast felt their roles mirrored their personal lives. “‘Brave’ was such a personal song, because the whole character I knew so well,” Gonzalez said of playing Nina, the first in her family to go to college who then gets kicked out. “Being the first in my family to leave my hometown and do better -- to sing that every night was kind of like therapy for me.” Jackson admits he was living every aspect of Benny’s life. “Along the way, [Benny] raised himself and he and his friends raised each other. That was all happening in real time.”

“Vanessa was who I was during that time,” Olivo remembered. “I [came] from a bad home and being poor. I always wanted something more and bigger than what people told me I could have. Each night was a little bit of that. [The creative team] would see me come into rehearsals and say, ‘That is what Vanessa would do except she’d be in heels and a short skirt.’”

While a film adaptation originally being produced by the Weinstein Company is no longer in the works, Miranda said “that will happen when it happens,” revealing that a screen version has been stalled since 2008. “That’s one of those [things where] I will tell you when I walk into a set and no sooner.”

In the meantime, a reincarnation on stage is not an impossible idea. “I’d like to see a revival of it at some point, but not with me in it. I’m too old, but I’d love to see that,” Miranda told ET. “I think we will feel when the time is right for that.”

Bonus: Lin and Karen react to viral Lin-related content:

youtube

#lin manuel miranda #in the heights #karen olivo #video #articles #et online

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hanaby-3 · 7 years ago

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TransformFriday

Okay, this is an idea that I've been meditating for a long time but I think now is the perfect time to carry it out. Because my favorite comic book (Transformers MTMTE-LL) will soon come to an end, I have decided to carry out this idea: my own Top Ten of favorite transformers... drawing version! The truth is that the end of MTMTE and LL generates me many mixed emotions: on the one hand I am happy because at last I will be able to know the end of the story and I will not observe how my favorite series becomes the next infinitetale (I will not say names ... but we all know who they are ...) but on the other hand I'm so sad about it. This is a story that has marked me and I know that when the comic ends I will no longer be the same person as before. This (at least for me) is a special moment, comparable to when Inuyasha, Death Note and Evangelion ended. I remember fondly when I started reading it: back then I still had the hype of transformers prime and I was looking for more things about it and then a friend in a forum recommended Transformers More Than Meets the Eye and I started reading it (specifically I got it in chapter 18, the house of ambus) and I was speechless with what I found. All the characters were so similar and at the same time so different from everything I already knew. I remember how I was surprised by the lore and all the mythology that had been assembling around the transformable robots and seeing how a world was created so unique and credible with such a cliche premise and yet I fell completely in love with it. I hallucinated with neurosurgery and empurata, I loved how action and psychology were balanced in about 20 pages in such a harmonious way, and the characters ... my god, the characters! I love how James Roberts takes you by the hand and makes you walk the halls of lost light with his characters, I remember being so sad with Tailgate's disease, getting excited about the battle between cyclones and Starsaber, to love and hate the same time to Tarn for his personality, to be moved for the scavengers, the evolution of rodimus and Megatron. For my Transformers it has not been another series of my childhood. James Roberts and Alex Minle have taught me what someone can do with dedication, hard work and a lot of imagination and their comics are not an empty reading. Thanks to this story I have learned so many important lessons from life and myself, I have come to learn how strong and courageous I can be. Thanks to MTMTE I was encouraged to write and draw my first comic, I learned that the hardest It is forgiveness to yourself, I have learned that it is not bad to ask for help and how powerful teamwork is, thanks to TMTMTE I wrote my degree thesis ... My God I can say it, Thanks to Transformers I got graduated! And finally, thanks to MTMTE transformers I still find the strength to continue doing what I like, which is to draw. That's why I decided to celebrate these last months of Transformers drawing my ten favorite characters and of course explaining why every Friday (of course the position 1 and 2 already know them, I'll leave you below the links if you're interested) because the end of this wonderful saga will also mark the end of a stage of my life and is that the truth, without TMTMTE I would be a completely different person and that is why it is and always will be one of my favorite series.

Top Ten

1.-Prowl

If you have read any of the wreckers comics then you know that Prowl is a bastard. He is not a noble, kind, or honest hero, I can not even call him good. Actually Prowl is a villain who "fortunately" plays for the good side. If I had to define Prowl in a word that would be hate. He hates the decepticons, he hates the new cybertron, he hates his leader/friends for not listening him, even I think that sometimes he hates himself, his life and especially his failures and that's why I love it. I love the contradiction and the final message of Prowl: hatred has turned him into what he most detests. Ironically, Prowl is more decepticon than many cons and at the same time that hate is the fuel that drives him to improve every new plan and fight for a future and a peace that may get to destroy him. He is cruel, manipulative and ruthless but also has moments of weakness and even compassion ................. although he is still a bastard and has not been able to overcome his ex-boyfriend. I love Prowl because he is not a character, he is a person, he is very real and very human and the world and his own decisions have made him into what he is today.

2.- Starscream

Leaving megatron aside, my favorite decepticon is Starscream. Either in comics or in the animated series Screamer always amuses me and always manages to make me smile ... basically because I love to see him fail in everything he does. I do not joke, either bad luck or his own ambition always make him fail. If Prowl is hatred, Starscream is ambition. he reminds me a little the homuncle of FMAB Greed, he wants it all, power, wealth, fame, fear, respect and especially the decepticon leadership.

He knows he is the best option to be the leader of the decepticons and he is an incredibly ruthless person who does not hesitate to lie, murder and manipulate everyone to meet their own whims but like Prowl Star is much more than just ambition. I'm not going to say that he's not so bad or he can redeem himself or some stupidity of the style (I really hate that) but Starscream has a reason to be like that. He is an incredibly lonely person who has struggled to survive before, during and after the war. He has learned that he can not count on anyone because sooner or later they will betray him and that is why he only sees the people around him as pawns. He's logic: if you do not approach or attach to anyone they can not betray you. deep down he knows that sooner or later his bad deeds will overtake him and he must prepare himself.

And yet Starscrean has virtues as great as his flaws: he is incredibly determined and hardworking, when he wants something he does not skimp on resources, time or effort in getting it, he is extremely intelligent (probably not as much as Prowl but he is a force to have in account) and he always learns from his mistakes. I would say that's why he has had such a long reign in comics and even has moments of humanity and genuine compassion. Maybe he really wants to redeem himself ... but he knows that he is beyond all salvation and that for him it is too late.

3.-Cyclonus

The truth is that this is a character that I find it hard to talk about, basically because he is someone I love so much and I identify so much that I block myself.

I will start strong: Cyclonus is my perfect waifu, he is a revision to the classic stereotype of the solitary warrior and constantly reminds us that every age, however dark or terrible it may have been, created beauty. Fuck, Cyclonus loves any form of art: music, writing, architecture and also he is a killing machine that can slice just about anyone, what else could you ask for? And in spite of him being so cultured he has a huge darkness inside him, of course Cy is fully aware of that and always tries to channel it ... with mixed results.

But the truth is that the feature with which I most identify with cyclonus is his sense of honor and loyalty, that is something that resonates a lot with me. The moment that I see Cyclonus is willing to do him on the side in order to ensure the happiness of the person he loves the most is something that makes my throat tighten. Besides that his relationship with Tailgate is the best yaoi I've read, let's be honest and he has the best sentence ever written. you want to know? You will have to read the comic because the spoiler is not from God.

4.- Megatron

Of course Megsi was to be in my topten, he is almost a god in my pantheon (sorry optimus). I love all the incarnations of Megatron except for the transformers prime novel (seriously, a revolutionary who hates the primes but he wants to be a prime …. what the hell?) But my favorite so far is the IDW Megatron , he is a very complex character that goes through different stages: fallen, self-discovery, acceptance, temptation, redemption … all a carousel of emotions. He pass from being a ruthless murderer to a pacifist in constant conflict with himself. Although my favorite aspect about megatron is its moral: we all deserve a second chance … but redeption is not as easy as bowing your head and apologizing. Throughout MTMTE and LL Megs works every minute of his life to redeem his mistakes even when he knows they are too big and as he advances towards his death he knows perfectly well that there is a possibility that no one will forgive him but that does not stop him. Megatron words always resonate strongly within me: We are all work in progress.

5.- RungMy second perfect waifu and a cinnamon roll too pure for this world. Rung is the most adorable autobot ever drawn … until he takes off his glasses and becomes the greatest latinlover ever created. But leaving aside my inclination for robots, Rung is an incredible character, I know that many joke about the theory which says that Rung is the self-inception of Roberts, but I think that rather Rung is the connection with the reader. He is a character that has been kept at bay from most problems by having a very convenient good luck, he is skinny, short, lovable, sometimes too much kind and he prefers conversation rather than confrontation but he is not weak On the contrary, Rung has incredible mental and emotional strength. he has not only endured that everyone, absolutely ALL mispronounce his name at least once, Rung listens to the problems and confessions of others around him to make a living; he literally knows the worst of all, he knows the darkness that dwells within each of his companions … and that never stops him from helping or comforting others. If I had to define the role of Rung in some archetype that would be the maternal one. Of course there are parents in fiction who are loving and protective, but the mother figure always ends up being kinder, the comforter and the one that drives you to improve and that is precisely the raxon for which I love Rung.I have met many maternal characters but what makes the difference with Rung (besides being male) is the moment in which (spoiler alert) during the kidnapping of Fortress Maximus, Rewind reproduces a part of the torture in Garrus 9 and Max, realizing that he is doing exactly the same as Overlord and reliving those horrible memories, he throws himself to the ground to mourn and Rung, with a patience of a saint, despite the kidnapping and even though Max had yanked his thumb out… he surrounds him with a kind arm and tells him that everything will be fine and everything ends for today. That’s something my mother could have done.Because deep down Rung is that, he is kindness and he teaches us the strength found in compassion and as the functionalist universe demonstrates, Rung possesses incredible strength of character and determination and he is capable of giving his life to save those who he care … and that’s a large number of people.

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#topten #topten trasformers #transformers #transformers mtmte #prowl #starscream #cyclonus mtmte #megatron #rung

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junker-town · 5 years ago

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The 5 most fireable NFL coaches one month into the season

Photo by Justin Casterline/Getty Images

At the quarter mark of the season, Dan Quinn joins the list after the Falcons have limped to a 1-3 start, while Jay Gruden’s seat has reached a broil.

The end of September means the start of the autumn season. For NFL coaches, it’s the start of hot seat season, too.

Four weeks of the 2019 campaign has created a telling preview of what may come. The Patriots and Chiefs have risen to the top of the NFL landscape at 4-0. The Dolphins and Cardinals have unsurprisingly gone to the other end of the spectrum in winless starts. And while that was more or less predictable, a few unexpected developments have added new creases to the way this year’s coaching carousel may unfold.

Matt Patricia looked destined for the hot seat after a disappointing debut season and then a Week 1 come-from-ahead tie against the Cardinals that saw Arizona erase an 18-point fourth-quarter deficit. He’s since inspired confidence with upset wins over the Chargers and Eagles while pushing the Chiefs to their limit in a Week 4 loss. Any concerns about Kyle Shanahan have since been excised by a 3-0 start that has the 49ers as one of the league’s three remaining undefeated teams. Doug Marrone was 0-2 and staring down a pink slip (and Jalen Ramsey’s trade demand) until Gardner Minshew and Leonard Fournette brought the wins that temporarily smoothed things over in Jacksonville.

Meanwhile, Mike Tomlin’s Steelers are 1-3 and staring down a stretch of 14 games started by backup Mason Rudolph. Adam Gase’s first season with the Jets has been derailed by bad play and worse luck — namely, the kind that sidelines a quarterback with mononucleosis. No one’s really sure what Mike Vrabel’s Titans are capable of, but they’re on pace for a typically unremarkable 9-7 campaign (as is tradition).

With a quarter of the season more or less finished, a handful of coaches are in danger being let go before 2019 is finished. Here are the five who have the most to worry about after Week 4, in order of most concerning to least.

Jay Gruden, Washington

Gruden pulled his last playable card in Week 4, benching Case Keenum in favor of first-year quarterback Dwayne Haskins. Unfortunately for him, the former Ohio State star looked very much like an underprepared rookie against the Giants.

Haskins led his offense to as many points as he had interceptions thrown in a 24-3 loss to New York rookie quarterback Daniel Jones. As the Giants rekindled their postseason hopes by improving to 2-2, Washington fell to 0-4 and effectively watched its shot at contention slip even further out of reach.

That could spell the end for Gruden, who fell to 35-48-1 in five-plus seasons as the team’s head coach. He came into the season as the betting favorite to be the first man canned this fall, and a winless September only frayed the string of Damocles’ sword above his head.

Gruden’s been able to survive a career devoid of even a single 10-win season thanks to his ability to develop passing talent. He turned Kirk Cousins from a fourth-round backup into a Pro Bowler and got an Alex Smith-led team out to a 6-3 start last year before a catastrophic leg injury ended Smith’s season and sent Washington into a tailspin.

That bad luck extended his grace period to 2019, but more misfortune has befallen him since. Management refuses to extend left tackle Trent Williams’ contract, leading to a still-going holdout and the continued absence of the team’s best blocker. Starters like Brandon Scherff, Terry McLaurin, Derrius Guice, and Jordan Reed have all missed time due to injury. This all effectively shrank the team’s playoff chances to nothing. Gruden’s only real hope is to grow Haskins by leaps and bounds and make the case that his coaching was instrumental in the rookie quarterback reaching his potential.

There’s still time for that to happen — but owner Dan Snyder’s patience could run out before Haskins shows any real signs of development. No one in the NFL has a hotter seat than Gruden right now. Things are so desperate in the nation’s capital that it could be time for Colt McCoy to take his seat on the team’s carousel of sadness in Week 5. To be fair, that would save Haskins the embarrassment of having his lunch money stolen by the Patriots on Sunday.

Bill O’Brien, Texans

A 16-10 loss to the Panthers was an amalgamation of everything O’Brien’s struggled with in his Texans tenure and a CliffsNotes readthrough of Week 4’s dumbest mistakes. Houston couldn’t protect Deshaun Watson, failed to capitalize on scoring opportunities, burned a timeout with a misused replay challenge, and even added some baffling offensive playcalls to throw a can of hairspray onto the “Fire O’Brien” flames.

Bill O'Brien has Logged On pic.twitter.com/sXJwX24pDX

— Rivers McCown (@riversmccown) September 29, 2019

The Panthers came into their road showdown with the Texans having given up more than 23 points per game on average. Then they shut down a Houston offense led by one of the league’s most exciting young quarterbacks and a completely stacked receiving corps thanks in part to O’Brien’s inability to establish any kind of offensive rhythm. That’s something the franchise could write off if it were a blip on the radar. Instead, the former Penn State head coach and the Texans’ current de facto general manager has made it a trend.

O’Brien’s tenure in Houston has been filled with “just good enough” performances that take advantage of a disheveled AFC South en route to disappointing January finishes. The Texans have been to the playoffs three times in the last four years but only have one win to show for it — and that came against a Derek Carr-less Raiders team. Houston is currently stuck in a four-way tie for first in the division and is in strong position to make another run at the crown. Unfortunately for O’Brien, just getting to the postseason may not be enough for a head coach whose ceiling has been capped at “good” but never “great” in his five-plus seasons in Texas.

Dan Quinn, Falcons

The Falcons should not be this bad. Atlanta is 1-3 and ranks just 26th in scoring offense despite boasting a former MVP at quarterback and one of the league’s most talented receiving groups. The defense has given up 20 points or more in each of its games even after extending stars Grady Jarrett and Deion Jones this offseason. The team has trailed by 21, 17, and 17 at halftime in its three defeats so far.

The blame in this demoralizing season has fallen on Quinn. The fifth-year coach is only 18-18 after his breakthrough 2016 season and his biggest asset — creating havoc plays in the middle of a stingy defense — has been absent in 2019. Owner Arthur Blank spent big this offseason to create a win-now environment, only to see his team sink to the bottom of the NFC South.

Fortunately for Quinn, a 1-3 start isn’t a burial in a conference where no team but the 49ers has really stepped up. The Saints lead the division at 3-1, but remain vulnerable with Drew Brees sidelined for roughly half the season due to a thumb injury. The Panthers and Buccaneers are both flawed products. While Atlanta’s upcoming schedule isn’t especially rosy — three of its next four games are against 2018 playoff teams — there’s still time for Quinn to prove Blank made the right investments last offseason.

The bad news for Quinn is that his team can barely go a week without shooting itself in the foot, and that reflects especially poorly on his coaching.

Mike Zimmer, Vikings

Kirk Cousins was supposed to be the keystone that held the rest of Minnesota’s powerful roster in place. Instead, he’s regressed in 1.25 seasons under Zimmer, leaving the Vikings stuck in limbo and turning up the heat under his head coach’s seat by a few degrees each week.

Minnesota has been unable to replicate the magic of its 13-3 2017. In the process, its quarterback play has stagnated despite an ostensible upgrade from Case Keenum to Cousins. That raises the question as to whether then-offensive coordinator Pat Shurmur was more responsible for the team’s success than we knew at the time. The Vikings have been eager to answer it; they fired John DeFilippo during the 2018 season and replaced him with Kevin Stefanski at OC. The change hasn’t worked out so far. His unit ranks 18th in the league in scoring offense.

Zimmer’s biggest problem in Minnesota has been an inability to make adjustments mid-game based on what he’s seeing on the field. While this mostly applies to playcalling, it was on display Sunday when he burned a first-half timeout that effectively convinced the Bears to rethink a fourth-and-3 punt and go for it — and convert en route to a field goal — instead. Zimmer stopped the clock to avoid a flag for 12 men on the field, but he called timeout after it was clear Chicago was ready to take a delay of game penalty to create a little extra space for its punter.

That’s a small mistake that had repercussions in a game where defense ruled, and it was entirely avoidable with a little extra awareness. That’s a strong thesis statement for the Zimmer era in Minnesota, and that’s why he could be fired in 2019 if he can’t push an underachieving team to the postseason.

Ron Rivera, Panthers

Rivera’s fortunes have shifted the past two weeks as Kyle Allen and the Carolina defense have outperformed expectations. While two straight wins have given the Panthers new life in the topsy-turvy NFC, Riverboat Ron isn’t out of the woods yet.

Beating a winless Cardinals team and allowing the Texans to self-destruct in front of them weren’t exactly awe-inspiring victories. Games against the surging Jaguars and a Buccaneers team that already beat the Panthers at home will provide a greater barometer of whether Allen and Rivera are a potent pairing or a quiet cry for Cam Newton to return to full strength.

Should Carolina’s surge die down, Rivera may be in trouble. He had the league’s third-best odds to be fired after that 0-2 start. He’s been able to fend off pressure by dialing up winning seasons in odd-numbered years (he’s got playoff berths in ‘13, ‘15, and ‘17), but the years in-between have been unpleasant.

A second straight losing season could be enough to convince new owner David Tepper a change is in order. Tepper, who took over the team during the 2018 offseason, has given his head coach a relatively long leash rather than make wholesale changes upon his arrival. Another year of meaningless December games could be all he needs to see to install his own choice at the top of the team’s decision-making flowchart.

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fanciful-follies · 8 years ago

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Hamburr, "sorry, were you sleeping?"

Alex isn’t sure how long he’s been working on this paper, but based on the way his hands are starting to cramp up, probably an hour at the least. The way the words are starting to blur together on the screen in front of makes him think closer to two hours.

He stretches in his chair, back cracking in a satisfying way. The chairs he has at his table aren’t the greatest, but if he works on the couch he’s too comfortable, wanting to sink into the cushions. And the floor is way too hard. Alex would never get anything done. The kitchen chairs are the perfect balance.

But Alex stands up, saving his progress and finally letting his laptop shut. His eyes flick over to the hallway, landing on the closed door of his bedroom, and he feels his stomach flutters.

He knows part of the reason he’d decided to work so long on his paper is because Aaron is staying over.

They’d met months ago, right at the beginning of Alex’s first semester of grad school. He’d gone to a bar over the first weekend, wanting to try and celebrate the fact he’d made it to grad school before he got too overwhelmed by the stress of everything.

And then he’d met Aaron.

He’d been at the bar, too, sitting there and looking so incredible that it made Alex feel instantly ashamed at his own appearance. But Alex had gone up to him, either due to the alcohol already in his system or just out of sheer stupidity. And Aaron, miraculously, had talked to him.

Then they did more than talk.

Alex had assumed it would just be a one-night stand that he would look back on with fondness years down the line, because how could someone like Aaron be interested in him? But Aaron had texted days later, asking him to lunch, and Alex had been on cloud nine for weeks to follow.

And now they’re here, in some sort of relationship that neither of them have put a name to yet. It feels like dating, but Alex doesn’t want to assume. He doesn’t want to push his luck and end up jinxing himself. He likes Aaron too much for that.

Alex knows he’s being ridiculous, that it’s stupid for him to be nervous to sleep in the same bed together. They’ve already slept together, so this should be nothing. It should be easy. But Alex feels terrified.

What if Alex hogs the covers, or snores, or talks in his sleep? What if he’s so annoying that Aaron never stays over ever again? There are endless ways that this night could end badly.

But then again, leaving Aaron to sleep by himself probably isn’t exactly good manners either.

He’d seemed fine when Alex had snuck off to work on his paper, saying he would just read for a while, but Alex figures Aaron hadn’t thought it would be a whole two hours until he came back.

So Alex takes a deep breath and heads over to his room, exhaling with a determined nod before pushing the door open.

“Hey!” He says, probably too loudly, but he seems to have lost control of his voice. He turns the light on, which is off for some reason, and walks over to his closet, starting to undress. “Sorry that took so long, I just really got into the paper and ended up having to change my thesis, which is always a pain in the ass.” He finishes changing and turns to the bed. “But now I-oh.” Alex stares at Aaron, who is slowly emerging from under the covers and blinking at him. “Sorry, were you sleeping?”

Aaron gives him an exasperated look that Alex has come to find very attractive, and then he rolls onto his back, rubbing at his eyes. “No. I was just lying very still with my eyes closed.”

“Is that sarcasm?” Alex asks as he climbs onto the mattress, never sure when it comes to Aaron. He crosses his legs and keeps staring as Aaron lowers his hands, yawning and looking tired. Probably sarcasm, then.

“What time is it?”

Alex peers over at the clock, noting that it was a little after two in the morning. He winces. That is a time where people with normal sleeping schedules are probably passed out by. “Sorry,” he says again, choosing not to tell Aaron the time. “I swear my sleep schedule was actually worse in college.”

Aaron laughs at that, sighing as he shifts on the mattress, and Alex lets his eyes roam over the bare skin of his chest. “So are you happy with your paper?” He asks, voice scratchy with sleep, and Alex feels something in his chest grow warm at the sound.

“I think so,” he says with a shrug, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just part of my cycle. I’ll probably change the thesis about three more times before I’m finally happy with it.”

Aaron laughs again, then he’s tugging Alex down on the bed, moving him with ease until Alex is underneath Aaron, staring up at him. “You’re something else, Alexander,” Aaron murmurs, a smile on his face.

“Thanks,” Alex breathes out, hoping it was a compliment. Then his mind is going blissfully blank as Aaron kisses him slow and deep, their lips sliding against each other in a way that still makes Alex lightheaded.

Aaron hums, the noise low in his throat, and Alex shivers, parting his lips and sighing into the kiss. He slides his hands up Aaron’s back, marveling at how smooth his skin is.

They keep kissing, time seeming to not exist, but then Alex feels tiredness starting to seep into him. He tries to speak, but Aaron is still kissing him, and then his breath is catching in his throat as Aaron rolls his hips down against Alex’s.

Alex has to pull away, breathing heavily and gasping when Aaron just slides his lips down to Alex’s neck, kiss the area beneath his jaw. “Aaron,” Alex murmurs, arching against him. But then his slides his hands up, nudging Aaron until he’s lifting his head and staring down at Alex with dark eyes.

“You okay?”

Alex laughs at the question, cupping Aaron’s face and trailing his fingers across his cheeks. “More than okay. But…” He trails off, trying to ignore the heaviness in his limbs. “I’m tired,” he finishes sheepishly, his face flushing when Aaron chuckles. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Aaron tells him, pressing a quick kiss to Alex’s cheek before moving off of him. He smiles over at Alex once they’re both situated under the covers, side by side. “We’re definitely going to have to work on synching our sleep schedules.

Alex blinks at him, his stomach fluttering. “You…you mean you want to stay over again?” He stumbles over the question, worried that asking it out loud will make Aaron give an answer he doesn’t want to hear.

“I was planning on it,” Aaron tells him softly, reaching out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Alex’s ear. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Yes,” Alex says quickly, grabbing Aaron’s hand and tangling their fingers together. How is that even a question? “That…yes. I want that. That would be…cool.”

“Cool,” Aaron says, tone serious, but then he’s grinning, and Alex finds himself grinning back.

They exchange a few more kisses, Alex relaxing a bit more with each one, and then he finds himself tucked against Aaron’s chest, breathing him in and feeling sleep start to overtake him.

And Aaron’s arm is around him, one of his hands playing with his hair, running through the strands and making Alex hum happily against him, nuzzling closer.

He could get used to this.

#hamburr #alexander hamilton #aaron burr #hamilton #tentative boyfriends #i love them #probs last one for the night #alcohol mention

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