#good luck to everyone he vowed revenge on

[cozycoffee]

This country fucking hates women. Like that's it. People who voted for Biden in 2020 will vote for Trump or not vote because they prefer racism to women.

[finniestoncrane]

Pornstar!Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, multi-part au fic cooper howard is a former actor, novice pornstar, and current wasteland escort. reader mistakes him for a bounty hunter and ends up getting far more entwined in his lifestyle than they intended in a bid to get what they need from the first 'kind' person they've met in a long time🤎

☢️ Chapter 2: Misunderstanding, word count: 4.7k reader is just about the simplest, sweetest thing that's ever gone on a journey to find a bounty hunter who can get revenge for her. unfortunately, she doesn't find the bounty hunter she was looking for. fortunately, she finds cooper howard instead, which i think we can all agree is a blessing Chapter 1 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: unprotected sex but cooper can't get you pregnant and i doubt any diseases can survive in his blood stream, lil bit of angst, one night stand with feelings, fairytale style connections here like pussy so good it has a man questioning the existence of soul mates

Your feet were no longer willing to participate, and you found that much of your energy was going towards convincing your lower half to keep going, even at the painfully slow pace you were struggling to keep. Trudging along what was left of the highway, you wondered how much of the difficulty was physical, and how much of it was the mental block. Because for all the effort it had taken you to get this far, with the end goal in sight you were beginning to reconsider.

What were you even going to say when you found the man you were looking for? 

“Hi, I’m looking to hire a bounty hunter, and I’m told you’re the best.”

Far too formal. Almost pleading. He’d know you were someone he could take for a ride immediately.

“Hello. Are you a bounty hunter? The famous one?”

That sounded like you were about to ask for his autograph before you asked if he could take on your job.

“What’s up, good sir. Are you by any chance willing… to… do…”

“Fuck.”

You’d had this entire journey to figure out what you were going to say, and now you were so close to reaching the settlement marked on your map and you were, if anything, less prepare than before.You couldn’t even blame it on distractions, because aside from a few standard dangers, it had been smooth sailing. A small mercy you were incredibly grateful for during the journey. And yet, instead of putting that time to good use, you had daydreamed your way along broken highways, beating the occasional radroach to death with your tire iron, and willfully ignoring what you had set out to do.

It just seemed so dangerous. So seedy. 

But unfortunately necessary.

Four times in the past three months, your quiet settlement had been attacked by raiders. Crops were destroyed and stolen, four brahmin were killed, and almost all of your prized possessions had been taken. It was only by sheer luck that they’d missed your stash of caps under the floorboards, and you’d vowed to use that to get your revenge. It was only this deep, burning desire for justice that had kept you going the past few days. Walking and walking and walking, interspersed only with fitful, uncomfortable sleep. You’d barely eaten, barely drank anything, and you were running low on supplies. But the signs for the next settlement were there on the walls, ushering you in, promising you food, rest and a solution to your problems. 

That was if you could convince the solution to do what you needed. 

And that itself hinged on your ability to recognise the bounty hunter.

“Oh, you’ll know him when you see him.”

That’s what the mayor of your settlement had told you. And what kind of advice was that? 

It’s not like there was a uniform they all wore. And as far as attitude went, what were you supposed to look out for? Handy with a gun and a cruel, cut throat demeanour? That was everyone in the Wasteland.

As you entered the large town, a settlement thriving somehow, you decided the bar was the best place to start your search, and the lure of having a drink, surrounded by voices and music, was far too enticing. There was nothing like that back home. Travelling traders and the makeshift common house was as close as it came to any kind of socialising or excitement. And while you were here on business, and rather serious business at that, you felt like you deserved a reward, a little bit of something to look forward to.

The bar gave everything that you hoped. The minute you walked through the door, you were quickly distracted by a fight that had just broken out. It was stopped by someone you assumed was working security who smashed the heads of the two men involved against the table, and then carried them through to a back room, one over each shoulder. A few people looked up from their drinks or away from their conversations to take you in, none of them settling for too long. This was a trading town, strangers came in and out all the time, you weren’t special here. You blended in. It felt nice, actually, not to draw too much attention. 

Sidling up to the bar, you asked for a water, deciding that quenching your thirst was a better option than beer, and settled into your crooked, wobbling stool. You couldn’t help but smile as you sipped at your cup and looked around the place. As dark as the reason you were here was, it felt like it had given you purpose, meaning. You were on a noble quest. The excitement was dulled, however, as you looked to your left and noticed the man beside you. Only then did the seriousness of your journey settle back in, heavy on your shoulders. 

The stranger next to you had shielded most of his face with a worn cowboy hat, one that was frayed and aged, but his skin was still visible, telling of his kind. A ghoul. The scars that marred his cheeks, sunken eye sockets, and no nose to make up his side profile. He was sipping at a dark liquid in a chipped glass, holding it with gloved hands. His body was covered mostly by a tattered duster jacket, but below it there was a glimpse of blue and gold, hidden under a thick, leather waistcoat. 

He certainly looked the part. The thought made you feel guilty, as though you had judged him based on his looks alone, but that was all you had to go on. Either this was the man you were looking for, or he was bound to know where to find that person. So you took the risk and tapped on his shoulder. 

Immediately, you understood that you had made a mistake, as his dark, brown eyes focused in on you, his lips curling into a sneer. 

“I will be polite, since you look like fresh meat, but do not touch me.”

“I-I’m so sorry, I just-”

He put up a hand, silencing you. 

“I only speak by appointment, darlin’.”

As he turned back to staring into the space in front of him, you decided you’d already come far enough not to push, just a little. Besides, the attitude, the way he spoke, the suggestion that he took on appointments. You were so certain that he was the man you were here to speak to.

“Well… you don’t look too busy right now…”

“You got ten seconds before I take this glass and make an awful mess of you.”

“I want to hire you! Please, just… Can I buy you a drink, Mr…?”

He looked down into his glass, almost empty except for one large gulp, which he swallowed with a sigh before he pushed the glass forward.

“Name’s Cooper.”

“Cooper. So…?”

“Whisky.”

“Whisky. Right. Thank you!” 

Cooper watched as you attempted to make your voice heard over the noise of the patrons in the bar, intrigued by you, far more than he would have liked to admit. Usually, clients were all the same. In town for the night, passing through, a regular. It didn’t matter, they were all there for a reason, and they wanted to get straight to the point of it. He preferred that. No beating around the bush, at least not until they had paid him. 

“Here you go! He said that was the best they had… it was expensive, so I hope he’s right.”

Eyeing the liquid, Cooper swirled it and grimaced, and when he raised his glass to drink, you copied him. The swig was lodged in your throat, a burning, painful taste that lingered at the back of your tongue and had you coughing and spluttering. From beside you, you could hear Cooper’s cruel chuckling, finally smiling, albeit at your expense.

“What’s so funny? What? Do you actually like the taste of this?”

“Oh, darlin’, don’t get yourself all worked up. I just find it amusing that someone like you would want to hire someone like me, that’s all.”

“And why is that?”

Cooper sighed, setting the glass down on the bar and turning in his stool to look you in the eyes. His gaze was intense, his eyes soulful, deep, focused.

“I just don’t think you’re lookin’ for what it is I can offer you.”

“Really? Well, what is it that you can offer me then, and I’ll tell you whether or not I can handle it.”

With a wry smile, Cooper nodded towards the bartender.

“Why don’t you go rent a room and I can tell you all the things I can offer you.”

That settled it for you. He was definitely the guy you were looking for, or at least, the kind of guy you needed. Secretive, trying to act threatening, scarier than he might be, to let you know how dangerous he was. He would be perfect. So you smiled back, hopping off your stool to go and speak to the bartender who gave you a key and a room number. By the time you had turned back around, Cooper was already making his way to the corridor, and you rushed to catch up to him. 

“Room number… five.”

“That’s a nice one, in the centre of the hallway, so it’s kept warm.”

“Uh…huh…”

He seemed to know it well, the whole space, as he confidently took the key from you, opened the door, and ushered you inside. That certainty with which he held himself, the confidence that flowed out of him, it was so oddly enticing. And as he settled himself down in a chair in the corner of the room and lit up a cigarette, you realised that you found him quite attractive. Bravery, danger, those soulful eyes that held what you could only imagine were decades upon decades of secrets, of history. Plus, despite his cold demeanour, he was oddly charismatic. You assumed that’s how he got by in this town, or any settlement. Usually, ghouls weren’t welcome, but Cooper seemed like the kind of man who could charm his way into anywhere. 

“So, what is it that you think I can do for you, sweetheart?”

You’d been staring at him blankly for a minute or so, watching as he commanded the space, relaxing himself into it. If he didn’t have years of being a fetishised novelty to back him up, he could have sworn that you seemed genuinely attracted to him. It had been so long since someone had looked at him like that, a blush on their cheeks, taking in his personality as well as his scarred and interesting body. 

Truthfully, he was looking forward to this himself. He’d have been lying to himself if he denied that you were his type. A little naive, sweet and cheerful, perfectly corruptible. But it was more than that. Your eyes seemed gentle, understanding. A trait that was hard to find these days. A look of the past about you, likely your upbringing. Those smaller settlements up in the hills were generational, clutching to what their ancestors had known before, living on kindness and the American spirit. THe nostalgia settled in his gut as he took you in. 

“Ok, so! Raiders.”

“... Raiders?”

He raised his brow, questioning you silently. It had been a long time since someone had asked for any roleplay in their encounter with him, and he could hear the jingling of caps as he wondered how much he could charge you for that.

“Yeah, raiders. They’ve attacked my settlement four times already.”

“And… they took you hostage? Kept you as a prisoner?”

“N-no… why…? No. They keep destroying our crops.”

“Oh, so you’re hungry.”

“I mean… yeah, but most of all I just need-”

“Need a little relief from all the stress you’ve been under?”

“I guess so, but not before I’ve solved the problem. What I really need is a bounty hunter.”

Cooper raised his hands, silencing you, a confused look on his face.

“I’m gonna stop you there, missy. This is verging on an acting job, and I don’t do those any more. Now what do you mean a bounty hunter?”

“Sorry… I don’t… what is there not to understand? I figured that’s what you did… isn’t it? Hunt bounties? Someone told me I could find a guy here that was good with a gun and-”

“Oh, you gotta be fuckin’ shittin’ me!”

He let out an exasperated laugh as he stood up from the chair and walked to you by the door.

“You think I’m a fuckin’ bounty hunter?”

“I thought… but now I’m sensing that you’re not in fact a bounty hunter.”

“Yeah, you got that right at least, lil lady.”

“So what are you then?”

“I’m an escort.”

You didn’t want to be presumptuous, and you couldn’t quite believe what he was saying, so you sought out some clarification, much to his dismay.

“So you… you go with me to get the raiders like a chaperone?”

Cooper stood in front of you in disbelief, narrowing his eyes at your perceived stupidity. 

“No, I ain’t escorting you anywhere except to this bed. Or the floor. Or against the wall.”

“Like sex?”

“Yeah. Like sex.”

You had so many questions, and not one of them felt appropriate. He just didn’t seem like the type of person who was well-suited to that particular line of work. Of course he was handsome, and there was that alluring, cruel nature that you found so beguiling, but his exterior was so rough and cold that you couldn’t imagine a lot of people getting past that.And with that thought, you wondered if he considered you to be that kind of person, someone who would shrug him off based on his demeanour, or worse, his looks. 

“Why were you so surprised about me wanting to hire you then?”

“Well, darlin’, you just don’t strike me as the wild type.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Means I usually only offer my talents to the people who want something a little weirder than what’s on offer elsewhere. Kinky folks, someone looking to get a bit freaky.”

“Huh…”

He didn’t know you well enough to make that judgement, and it smarted a little. And you were learning more about yourself too, because you were interested in him. Even before he’d revealed to you his line of work you’d been finding yourself stuck in a trance by Cooper. Of course you’d already reasoned that he would never be interested in you, but now that you know his affections could be bought…

“Is that all you brought?”

Speaking of money, Cooper had begun to rifle through the stash of caps that you had laid down on the dresser beside your backpack. 

“Uh… yeah. I thought that would be enough.”

“This would barely cover my fees, and you were gonna try and hire a bounty hunter for that? That is just about the stupidest god damn thing I’ve ever heard.”

You stepped to him purposefully, pulling the caps from him and putting them back into your bag. Even with your little quickfire crush, you found yourself irritated by his constant, snippy remarks. 

“Listen, I had no other choice. My settlement is struggling, this is all we had left after the raiders. I was hoping that someone would take a little bit of pity.”

“Sounds like the plot of some corny old cowboy movie.”

“Makes sense now, me thinking you were the bounty hunter, hm?”

Gesturing at his outfit with your hand, you let your eyes take him in from the floor up, and when your gaze settled on his face, you noticed him stepping closer, leaning into you. 

“I ain’t just some cowboy, missy. I am the cowboy.”

The way his voice lowered for emphasis, growling in his throat as he spat the words out at you with every intention, made your body flush with heat. A near immediate clenching formed in your gut, a tight coiling as you felt your saliva collecting against your cheeks. If you didn’t ask, you’d regret it forever. So you swallowed your nerves and spoke.

“So, can you do anything for me then?”

“I can do plenty, sweetheart. I can give you an earth-shattering orgasm and something to think about on your travels back to your little settlement. I cannot kill someone for you, but I can make you forget your troubles for a little while.”

“A-and… I have enough for that?”

Cooper grinned, more of a smug sneer than anything that resembled genuine happiness. 

“Are you asking to hire me for these other talents, then?”

“I guess so. Can I?”

“Hey, you got the money, then you’ve got me.”

You reached for your caps once again, handing them all over to him and watching as he put them into the pocket of his coat. All of it gone, in a moment of weakness over a man you’d just met. Before you could resent the decision too much, though, Cooper began shrugging off the long, duster jacket, your caps jingling as he did so. With it off, you could get a better look at his tarnished outfit underneath. He looked even more like a cowboy now. He hadn’t been lying before. Everything about him reminded you of those old holotapes you’d seen, the tarnished posters on the walls of buildings, or in the thankfully spared comic books you had been able to read. 

Noticing that you were just standing there, staring at him, Cooper broke the silence. 

“You look nervous, and I am a busy man. Shall I get things started?”

You weren’t even aware that you had started nodding until he was in front of you, fingers pulling at the material of your shirt and untucking it from your pants. He really wasn’t shy about it, no hesitation at all as he teased it up and over your head, already working on his own.As you stood there, awkward, exposed, he tossed his shirt to the side and began working on his belt, unbuckling it as you watched him. His body was lean, but not slim. The scarring on his face followed over his entire body, covering him completely. Each little line and ridge in his skin looked tempting, and you wanted nothing more than to run your fingers along him, to feel the texture against you. 

Cooper was quick to fulfil that desire, wrapping his arms around you as he worked at your pants. The embrace felt warm, and you couldn’t help but let your own hands travel around to his back, stroking up and down his spine as he pulled your pants down, letting them fall to your knees. As you stepped out of them, kicking them to the side, Cooper did the same, stopping briefly to take you in fully as you admired him in return. 

His cock was average in length, thicker than most, but what intrigued you most, once again, was the way it might feel against you. Ridged, tickling, with a stretch. You could feel yourself drooling at the thought, only pulled back to reality by Cooper’s voice.

“A quick disclaimer: you’re not going to get pregnant, and my blood kills diseases. I’m clean, so anything wrong with you, you can’t blame me.”

It was an oddly comforting statement, and solved a problem you hadn’t thought of until then. You nodded, standing in an awkward silence until Cooper spoke again.

“So, where do you want it?”

“I, uh… on the bed, I guess?”

“Well, that answers that question, but I meant my cock.”

“Oh! Maybe… uh… I…”

Cooper interrupted you, putting you out of your misery as you fumbled around for the right words and the bravery to ask for what you wanted. 

“Listen, just… lay on your back and spread your legs so I can get to your cunt. Nothing too adventurous for you, I think.”

You did as you were told, thankful for the instructions and his easy way of speaking them, even surprising yourself at how enjoyable you found the vulgar way he spoke to you. Everything about him was a little bit vulgar, though. But all the same, exciting and attractive, only fueling your arousal as you watched him spit on his hand, a long strand of drool connecting from his lips to his palm, before he stroked it along his cock. 

“You good?”

“Skill wise, or-”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes. Yes…”

With a roll of his eyes, not quite the look you had hoped for admittedly, Cooper lined the head of his cock up with your slit, pushing the tip past your folds and into your cunt with a soft groan. You were tight around him, stretched by his girth, and the way your fingers clawed at the mattress gave him a feeling of accomplishment already. 

Already, this felt different to him. You kept your eyes focused on him, when they weren’t closing against the pleasurable pain of him thrusting his cock into you. And not just to take in his body, instead, you were looking into his eyes. It felt like he was being seen for the first time in a long time. 

At one point, a soft smile crossed your lips, almost shy, and it pushed a grin to his own lips. It reminded him of someone from so long ago. Someone who looked up at him, body exposed to him, admiration and giddy glee in their chest. From that day, the last one. He couldn’t remember her name, but he remembered how she made him feel. She was sweet, and she saw him for who he was, not what he’d become. And given what he’d become now, he could be certain that it was the last time someone had seen Cooper, until you. 

Cooper grunted as he pushed himself deeper into you, up to the hilt, his hips pressing into you, hands on either side of your head against the bed. Everything about you was enticing. The soft giggles you let out, deep, breathy sighs as he worked at you, half-lidded eyes that sparkled with joy as they took him in. Usually, he was good for a solid half hour of pleasure, well worth the money he charged, but he could feel himself coming undone already. 

“Cooper… this is… you’re so good.”

Usually, he wasn’t one for speaking during sex, unless he was paid extra. But he indulged himself in your praise, wetting his lips and pushing past the grunts of exertion to ask for more. 

“Yeah? Tell me then, darlin’... tell me how good it feels.”

Your words spilled out with surprising ease, given how shy you had seemed. Kindness was clearly natural to you, and Cooper was incredibly grateful for it. It was beginning to feel like less of a job, a task, a need to get you fucked and out of the door and more of a genuinely pleasant experience for him. The more he considered how good it felt, to be touched, to be held, felt, appreciated for more than just fulfilling a kinky niche, the faster his rutting got. He wanted this to last, wanted the feeling of your cunt wrapped around his cock, your body warm under him, your eyes trained on his, to last for as long as possible, but it wasn’t easy to hold himself back. And it seemed less likely that you would be able to hold on either, as you had begun whimpering, fingernails scratching at the sheets, your hand finding his and clinging to it as you began to jerk your hips into him.

With a sharp hiss that opened into a shriek, you felt yourself reaching your climax, clenching around him as you quivered, your body electrified for those thirty seconds of extreme pleasure, your body overwhelmed with the sparking sensation that had you tingling all over.

When your breath was steady once again, you reached a hand up to Cooper’s cheek, holding it there and stroking his cheekbone with your thumb, enough energy left to utter one word.

“Wow.”

The way you uttered that one word was enough to push Cooper to his own orgasm. There was more kindness and genuine feeling in it than anything he’d heard in the past two hundred years. And as he felt himself being emptied inside of you, he couldn’t help but hit an incredible low, realising that it was over already, before he had begun to properly appreciate it. So he sank down into the mattress, rolling over and settling in next to you.

Laying there, your body cooling in the wet patch under it, you could barely speak, but you pushed past your heavy breaths to get at least one thing out.

“Thank you.”

Cooper kept himself as still as possible, letting his body come to a regulated pace, trying not to react to the words he was sure he had just heard you say.

“Thank you.”

No one had thanked him, for anything, for a long time. And least of all for his efforts in sex. The only reason he really made it, so to speak, was that he was a niche commodity in the world of sex. There to be used, to get off on or with, and then to leave again. And if he thought too hard about it, no one had ever thanked him before either. Not Barb. Not his co-stars. Not the directors who he performed for. No one. Was he actually good at it? Talented? Had he now fucked so much that he was an acceptable lay? Or were you just an outlier? Connected to him in a way that made it good? It seemed far more likely, given that he himself had found it far more pleasurable than anyone else in the last two hundred years. But that thought was a difficult one to process, so he rolled over in the bed in a bid to avoid those feelings, focusing so hard on the bare wall in front of him that he fell asleep remarkably swiftly.

Noticing that his breathing had slowed, a soft snore occasionally rumbling over his lips, you stood up from the bed and moved quietly and carefully to the sink in the corner, filled with old, stale water that felt cool against your skin. You didn’t want to risk waking Cooper, mostly because he looked like he needed the rest, but partly because you wondered what you would say, if anything, after what had just happened. So you took a seat to try and ground yourself.

From the chair in the corner of the room you watched him for a few more moments, perching there as you considered everything that had happened that day so far. A journey wasted, in some ways. But now you had an experience worth remembering, truly an adventure. It was almost difficult to imagine it as a one-off though. A singular event, never to happen again. And as you watched Cooper’s body moving slowly, inhaling and exhaling soundly in his sleep, you realised the thought was actually quite painful. And silly. You’d only just met him. He did this with so many people, and you weren’t special. It would be foolish to let yourself think that. How ridiculously typical would it be for some naïve country girl to find herself attached to her first one night stand, with a paid professional no less. So, rather than face those difficult thoughts any longer, you collected your things up, stopping only to reach into Cooper’s jacket and take enough caps back to pay for another room. At the bar, you were given another key, and you headed back up to try and get as much sleep as you could before making the decision about the next steps in the morning. 

[audreyscribes]

Ω PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS: ⚖ NEMESIS: Goddess of Balance, Retribution, and Vengeance wheel ♎

Author's note: Hello everyone! In lieu of posting the major gods demigod headcanons, here is the minor gods version! As usual these headcanons will contain what it's like being claimed and what it's like for the respective god and cabin, followed by a small story between you, the reader, and the respective demigod of that god. Thank you for reading and please like and reblog! [PJO MINOR GODS DEMIGOD HEADCANONS MASTERLIST] Disclaimer: To new fans or strictly TV watchers of the PJO series, future spoilers for the entire PJO series books will be referenced. Read at your own risk.

When you get claimed, it’s usually after one of the following: when you help exact revenge, serve justice, or rage vengeance. Of course when you hear those words, you’re going to think you have to do one of those large, epic moments but in reality, it’s pretty simple. That can be catching something unfair, doing what is right, getting back at your opponent, or simply saying No to something when it is unjust. When you get claimed, something feels balanced within you.

If you have some reservations about being a child of Nemesis, one of your half-siblings tells you it is an honour to be a child of Nemesis. Not just because Nemesis and what she stands for is important, if not sometimes harsh, but because Ethan Nakamura. You’re told about the tale of Ethan and who he was, how he was one of the inspirations for Percy to make the gods vow to claim their children and why the Minor gods have a cabin. You’re even shown the portrait of Ethan at his own altar in the cabin, as a reminder of his sacrifice and his life. If you’re lucky enough, Percy Jackson introduces himself and welcomes you himself to the Nemesis Cabin, just saying something “it was just right”. 

However, following that, they also warn you ‘an eye for an eye’ is more than what the eye can see. 

If you weren’t ambidextrous before, you are now. 

You’re always perfectly balanced and symmetry is important to you. Being fair is also an important factor in your life and one way or another, it will be done. 

Because of the domain Nemesis presides over, your cabin becomes a place that acts like a court. You and your siblings often get asked to preside or become mediators in arguments, and be the verdict who is the wrong and who is right. But the deciding factor is always fair. This also means you can pick out lies, though probably not to the extent of a child of Apollo.

You become a believer in working hard for your efforts, and you reap the rewards. If you’re not paid or treated fairly, everyone looks out. 

You know other people’s hubris by nature of Nemesis’s domain, so you know to be careful of ignorance and being modest. Just because you know other’s hubris, doesn’t mean you don’t have one. 

Given Nemesis is also known to be a distributor of fortune, neither good nor bad, the Nemesis Cabin has a connection with the Tyche Cabin, the goddess of Fortune and Luck. 

This isn’t a common fact, but Nemesis’ chariot is pulled by Griffins and you have a certain connection with them. If you manage to get your hands on a gryphon, and tame it, fairly, you’re allowed to ride them in camp. Just, don’t let them go near the Pegasus. Otherwise you’re going to get a long, stern lecture from Butch Walker. He’s still mad that one of the Nemesis children’s gryphons hurt Rainbow Dash. 

Speaking of pets and animals, you all have a goose or geese as its Nemesis’ animal. If you have encountered geese before or played the goose game, you know it’s a perfect fit. There has been one time, the Golden Goose, that lays the golden egg; however, it comes and goes as it pleases. Some of your siblings think it is Nemesis herself but who knows? Just don’t give any of the geese a knife or sword or weapon of any kind. Please, no one has recovered from that catastrophic event yet. The Apollo cabin doesn’t want a repeat of reattaching limbs by goose related causes any time soon, even if Paulo said he was okay.

When you get claimed, the feeling of being claimed is being merged with the sweet feeling of catharsis. You got back at one of the campers who has been mercilessly bullying you and trying to establish themselves as bigger than you. Everything came to a head when the two of you were put in a spar and all the time you’ve been honing your weapon skills and observing your opponent, you’ve finally had a perfect opportunity to exact your revenge. 

When you were given the moment to go, you readied your weapon, kept your grip firm, and attacked back. You pushed forward with anger and retribution as you swung and moved. You pushed your opponent further and further into a corner, and you kept knocking them onto their back, knees, and hands. You purposefully showed yourself drawing it out, showing them what it was like to be bullied and what it was like to be on the other end of their act; making them feel helpless, fearful, and shamed.

You decided to finish drawing out their punishment as you were declared the winner. People cheered for you, some louder who were once at your position, and as you raised your weapon in the air in victory, everyone gasped out and cheered harder as they saw the claim of Nemesis floating upon your head. 

You stared up wide-eyed at the claim as the announcement of your claim was yelled out for everyone to hear. You felt your mouth sour slightly as you remembered faintly from your mythology lessons about who Nemesis was. You weren’t entirely sure if you followed Nemesis’ reputation and domain. 

You see a boy come towards you as he looks you up and down before nodding in approval. “You’re definitely showed that you are a child of Nemesis. You delivered their punishment fairly and didn’t take it too far” he complimented. 

“Thanks…but I’m not sure if being a child of Nemesis can be entirely a good thing” you said truthfully, shrugging as you did. 

The guy rolled his eyes as he put his hands on his hips. “Nemesis isn’t an evil god and she’s just as important, like Ares either. The same goes for being her child. In fact it’s an honour” he said. 

“How?” you asked confused.

Damien smirked before he gestured for you to follow. “Because I’m also a child of Nemesis too. My name is Damien White, and I’m also the cabin leader for the Nemesis Cabin” he introduced before taking you to the cabin. You didn’t get a chance to look at the building before he opened it and guided you to a portrait inside. You saw a japanese looking boy who seemed a bit cold, especially with an eyepatch but clearly he was important with the amount of flowers and offerings that laid on the table below his portrait. 

“This was Ethan Nakamura, a child of Nemesis. He was the one who made a deal with our mother that brought back balance and helped inspire the hero Percy Jackson of the 2nd Titan War, where he used his divine wish to the gods to recognize the minor gods and their children in camp. His sacrifice is why the Nemesis cabin, and the other cabins are here” told Damien as he looked at the portrait of Ethan. He then turned to you, “Being a child of Nemesis is just as the same as the other demigods, but it’s more of an honour because our former brother.” 

You felt better as you nodded. “It might take a while to wrap my head around it but... I’m glad we’re related to such a demigod.”

Damien grinned and nodded, before he guided you out of the cabin, “Come on, I’ll help you grab your stuff from the Hermes cabin and get you settled in your new place.”

You nodded and when you had packed your stuff up, Damien grabbed your stuff for you to let you and another recently claimed demigod say goodbye to the Hermes cabin members, who was just claimed as a child of Tyche. They left first, since they came a bit earlier and their cabin leader was waiting for them outside. By the time you finished saying goodbyes, you came out to see your cabin leader arguing with a girl, who was also with the new child of Tyche. 

You saw Damien and the girl yelling at each other, almost getting into their faces and you thought of stepping forward to intervene, lest a cabin war breaks out. You don't know if it's a thing but you're not going to wait and find out. Before you could though, you're interrupted by a voice, 

“Oh don't worry about it, those two always argue with each other but they don't ever take it too far” you heard. 

You turned and saw a boy, with brown hair and blue eyes. He seemed familiar but you weren't sure where though. 

“Are you sure?” you said, looking at the two arguing people. 

The boy nodded as he took out his ukelele, plucking a few strings. Something to shift in the air, as you thought “Oh he's a child of Apollo maybe”. As if he heard your thoughts, you jumped when he turned to you with a smirk.

“The girl you see Damien arguing with is Chiara Benevnuti, daughter and cabin leader of Tyche, the goddess of Fortune and Luck. Nemesis and Tyche are sort of connected, so seeing their two children get along isn't unusual.”

“You call that getting along?” you replied skeptically. 

“Oh, you would be surprised. One time when the two of them were stuck in the medical tent, I saw Damien move to the cot next to Chiara and the two only argued with each other when people were around” snickered Lester. “If I were ever more poetic, I would say this is a perfect haters to lovers haiku right now.”

“Wait, how do you know this? Who are you?” you asked.

The boy smiled at you and you saw his blue eyes almost seemed like the sky for a moment. The sun glowed behind his head, highlighting his brown hair into what looked like gold. A shiver ran through you and you had an inkling of who this guy was. “My name is Lester Papadopoulous, nice to meet you.” 

[dxwnfxll]

hey bro i saw you got requests open, can i request any scp character with a reader who starts playing background music during other peoples arguments. like this video https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8h_UDtJH4-A

I apologize for any grammar mistakes since i'm using a phone, and i do hope i got this right (this request made me giggle a lil)

Dr. Amar (doing all pronouns for them since they're canonly genderfluid)

- Amar was just casually enjoying his day doing the usual ol' replacing Clefs shot gun shells with glitter, when Clef found out and decided to go off on them.

-Of course this wasn't really the first time the two argued, but it was the first time they argued since you joined the foundation.

-Just as things were getting heated Amar could've sworn she started hearing..spongbob music?

-It probably pissed Clef off even more to see Amar start looking around for the source of the music.

-But Amar spotted you in a door way staring into his soul, but it was hilarious that you were casually making background music during their argument.

-Amar tried to argue back they really did, but the damn music getting a lil louder each time she tried to speak made him giggle a lil.

-Clef eventually got annoyed also hearing the music and just walked away from the whole thing (He's vowing revenge now)

Dr. Clef

-So Dr. Clef technically already does this in a sense, he loves playing his ukulele especially during the designated eating times.

-He'll usually go into the cafeteria and play his ukulele on off notes to make everyone miserable, of course this got him yelled at by some random researcher.

-This wasn't unusual though, he always seemed to piss some random researcher off daily.

-What was unusual though was the sound of spongebob music playing, he swore he could hear it.

-He couldn't exactly spot where the music was coming from though, he began to even wonder if he was making the music unconsciously.

-But then he spotted you at a random table playing some spongebob music, he kinda blinked at you before his grin somehow got even wider.

-He started ignoring the random researcher and played his ukulele louder than you, and casually went back to 'torturing' everyone with his music.

Dr. Glass

-Glass doesn't usually get in arguments, sure there are some people who get on his nerves..but the guy is an Angel.

-So when he gets in one it doesn't usually last long, but today he was in an argument with Shaw.

-Nothing all to bad, he was just trying to get the chaotic person to take his meds. Which resulted in a heated discussion in the middle of the hallway.

-Glass tried to talk somewhere more appropriate but the 'man child' refused.

-That's when he heard it, the sound of spongebob music. Glass sighed already knowing who it was.

-He glanced around making the mistake of looking away from Elias to see where exactly you were.

-He then spots you peaking out a nearby research room playing the music, he clears his throat

-"Y/n, please. Now is not the ti-" He then notices Elias is gone "oh for goodness sake!" and he storms off to go find the man.

Dr. Rights

-Dr. Rights is a..let's say sociable person, and by sociable I mean she knows just about everyone

-So it's no surprise if she gets in an argument with some of these people, but today she seemed to be in an argument with some random JR researcher.

-She didn't even remember how the argument started, but now they were arguing back and forth inside of one of the many break rooms around the site.

-She then could hear music and swore maybe she was going crazy, she glanced around till spotting you nearby.

-She let out a chuckle and still tried to argue back but couldn't, this whole situation turned funny to her. And she couldn't remember why she was even arguing in the first place.

-She pat the random JR researcher on the shoulder while she laughed a bit, the researcher seemed to notice you as well and also began to giggle a bit.

Dr. Gerald

-With how awful Dr. Gerald's luck is, it's no surprise he's gotten himself in a few arguments (and luckily he'd get out of some unscathed)

-Gerald had somehow pissed off some random researcher, he didn't know what exactly he did but the researcher was not letting up.

-Gerald argued back he didn't even know what the researcher was talking about, which only made the situation worse.

-As the two argued it out Gerald could hear spongebob music out of no where, he gulped a bit wondering if it was some SCP (dudes very paranoid).

-But he spotted you and literally sighed in relief, you were just sitting nearby eating a granola bar as you played the spongebob theme music on your lap top.

-That sigh though caused Gerald a broken nose by the upset researcher, dude has really bad luck

Iceberg

-Icebergs sarcastic and rude self jas definitely gotten into plenty of arguments during his time as Dr. Gears assistant.

-Dude can't keep his mouth shut for the life of him, and right now he was arguing with another assistant about..who even knows.

-Iceberg didn't even know what they were arguing about, but he refused to be the 'loser' in this argument.

-Iceberg could then hear spongebob music and sighed loudly knowing who it was. After all the music was always there at every.single.argument. he had

-He turned his head to see you in the nearby door way playing the music, he glared at you narrowing his eyes before rolling them and going back to his argument

-He was very annoyed by you, but the music was still funny...sometimes.

Dr Kondraki

-Konny always seemed to get into an argument whether he wanted to or not.

-And those arguments were usually with Clef of all people, just like right now!

-He and Clef were arguing in his office as you sat on a nearby couch bored out of your mind, the two argued about all sorts of different things that you stopped paying attention to.

-You knew how to stop this argument though, just as the two were getting near the point of possibly being physical you started playing the spongebob theme song.

-The two didn't seem to notice at first still arguing with each other until the music got louder, Kondraki blinking and telling Clef to shut up as he looked over at you.

-The two stared at you as you played the music with a deadpan expression. The whole thing wasn't exactly funny if you had to do it every damn day.

-but luckily the music made the two stop arguing and finally part ways.

Mikell Shaw

-Mikell is an 05 member currently, but back in his more wild days he certainly got into an argument or two.

-And that's when he met you, during his wild days and ever since those days you seemed to never stop following him around.

-Especially when he seemed to get into an argument, he had made the mistake of inviting you to his office on the same day his sister decided to visit and chew him out.

-The two Shaw siblings were in a heated argument about who knows what when you walked in, the cowboy already red in the face from anger too focused on Claire. As his baby sister didn't even notice you come in due to her only focusing on Mikell.

-Only when the two began to hear spongebob music did their argument seem to cease, Mikell raising up a hand to shut his sister up with a "hold on, you hear that?"

-The two looked towards you as you stood in the door frame playing the music, Claire just ended up sighing and leaving the office as Mikell seemed a bit happier to see you.

-(Elias totally isn't paying you to start doing this from now on)

035

-This manipulative mask has certainly seen some things, and he's certainly had his fair share of arguments.

-Especially with the 'god awful' researchers here, he despises them..well except for maybe a few.

-And you were one of them, why? Because you entertained him during arguments.

-Whenever the mask seemed to have an argument, you'd always appear and start playing some weird tune he didn't understand.

-At first it annoyed him greatly, but that was because he saw you as another researcher. Now though it made him laugh, especially when you wouldn't let up even though the person he was arguing with told you to stop.

-He always won the arguments to, as eventually the person he was arguing with would give up as your music got louder and louder.

049

-He'll never say he's gotten into 'arguments', he's more of gotten into 'spats' if anything.

-The only time he can recount an 'argument' is with 035, that 'dreaded mask' he dislikes.

-A breach seemed to happen, 035 had broken out of containment (again) and was currently looking for 049.

-Just as 049 was in the middle of his work with you his 'assistant', 035 burst in laughing

-049 took one look at him and yelled out a 'Villain!' As 035 could only laugh and mock him back.

-The two got into a pretty heated argument, 035 completely forgetting his whole plan of escaping.

-That's when you decided to just start playing the spongebob theme music to make the whole argument even funnier.

-049 seemed to glance at you and speak "I apologize greatly, but now is not the time for music y/n."

-035 laughed "I think it's the right time" he said as his mask smiled, but that smile faded as his body decayed. The argument plus the music had 035s host enough time to decay fully.

-035 laid in the ground with a frown before 049 kicked the mask out of his 'room'

073 (Cain)

-Cain doesn't usually get into arguments very often, he doesn't really ever try to

-He's just always a helpful hand and will always try to see eye to eye with just about everyone, but that doesn't mean he's NEVER gotten into an argument.

-Today he seemed to get into one, arguing with Dr. Shaw and his awful joke. Dr. Shaw had thought it would be funny if she gifted Cain a 'fruit basket' and claim he had been 'cured'

-But the basket was just full of fake fruits, which caused Cain to go off on Dr. Bright for his sadistic joke.

-As the two were in an argument Cain could've sworn he could hear music, but he tried to drown it out staying focused on the argument.

-Eventually the music seemed to get louder and he finally looked away from Dr. Shaw to see you right behind him.

-He looked back to Dr. Shaw only to see him now gone, Cain sighed before looking back at you as you finally stopped playing that music "he gave me a fruit basket...with fake fruit, who does that??"

Hope you enjoyed lolol, i take requests still!

[dragon-snoots-a-boopin]

So, I have finally gotten around to seeing Transformers One and now I want to talk about what I did and didn't like about it. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, you have been warned.

What I Liked:

I really liked all of the bot designs. The sort of classic square nature mixed with some roundness here and there really does work in my opinion. I especially liked seeing some designs like Soundwave's alt mode being based on their alt mode from this Bumblebee movie toy and I believe it was the same for Ironhide towards the end of the movie too. Shockwave's alt mode looked to be based on their alt mode from Fall Of Cybertron/Rise Of The Dark Spark, at least I think it was. Those generic trooper guys looked kind of like the Vehicons from Transformers Prime, which I am sure was not intentional but, just something I thought of when I saw them.

The score by Brian Tyler was really great too and a great choice of composer in my opinion. Not sure if it was intentional but, I could hear some ques to the music of Transformers Prime in there too and I liked that. But, overall, a really great score.

The animation was all really good and really clean to me.

I thought that the voice acting was very good. Going into the movie, I had heard and read people saying that Hemsworth just sounded like himself and I have to disagree as he did a distinct voice for Orion and for Prime and neither sounded the same and neither sounded like his normal voice. Same goes for the other voice cast as well.

What I Didn't Like/Could Have Been Better:

The plot was incredibly predictable and it was easy to see from pretty early on that something was off about Sentinel Prime, even if I didn't know the specifics but, it was not a shock to me when learning of his betrayal.

D-16 becoming evil, while it was something we all saw coming, needed to happen more gradually than it did. Once they learned of Sentinel's betrayal, D-16 right off the bat wants to bury Sentinel Prime. Then, D-16 get the t-cog and it's like a switch is flipped, evil mode activated. From the beginning of the movie, D-16 should have been much more anti-authority but, no, they're all about follow protocol which, makes no sense for their character and who they become.

I don't really like this iteration of Orion Pax because there are no inklings of the characteristics of who they'll become later in the movie. Elita-1 says in a speech that Pax does all these courages things and I just don't see it. To me, all the things Pax does are without any logic and they just happen to work out based purely on dumb luck. I hate to say it, but I think that Pax should have had to work a lot harder to be worthy of The Matrix Of Leadership than just taking a shot for Sentinel Prime. I just don't think that Pax did all that much to really be deemed worthy of it and it feels like Pax needed to have it because plot.

I'm not the biggest fan of making both Pax and D-16 miners as I think their origin story of Pax being book smart and D-16 being street smart and sharing the same ideals (at first) for the future of Cybertron has a little more impact.

I really wish they had also made D-16 a gladiator, would have been cool to see some gladiator combat in the pits of Kaon but, oh well.

B-127's entire personality and character is that they never stop talk and that's it.

Elita-1's entire personality and character is that they think they're better than everyone and that's it.

The humor was very hit and miss for me, with more misses then hits.

The mid and post credit scenes were alright. The mid credit scene was just there for the funnies and the post credit scene was just Megatron vowing revenge.

Overall, for as much as I like and recommend the movie, it could have been a lot better too. Still good and enjoyable and I recommend giving it a watch.

[cecilthecowardly]

(Your bank account balance is now negative 1 morbillion dollars. Your fate is sealed. A mouse scurries up to you with a roll of parchment. You take it, unfurl it, and find this inside.)

Johnny is poor and has been all his life. He doesn't mind it much, except for the fact that every year when the circus comes to town, he never gets to see it. The years pass and every year he watches the circus come and go with a tear in his eye. Then one year as the circus is leaving, he snaps. "Fuck it," he says." I'm going to get myself a job so I can see the circus."

The next day he applies for a job at a supermarket stacking shelves. He gets this job and works his heart out. He works every night stacking shelves, earning money. He spends very little, and saves heaps. He is the best worker the supermarket has ever seen. A year passes, and the circus comes to town.

As soon as the gates to the circus open, Johnny races up, first in line to buy a ticket. the excitement overwhelms him. He walks around the circus. He sees the animals, the freak show, buys a hot dog, plays on the clowns. And then he sees it, what he's been waiting for all these years...The Big Top.

Johnny races into the tent and takes a seat. Pretty soon the tent fills up and the show begins. It's a packed house and the buzz is electric. The dancing horses come out, then the elephants, then everyone's favorite, the clowns. The clowns run around and do their act making everyone laugh. When all this is finished, the head clown picks up a microphone and says "Now we'd like to pick a member of the audience to help with our show."

All the lights go out and a spotlight circles the crowd. and, as luck should have it, it lands on Johnny. Johnny is ecstatic, he nearly shits his pants with excitement. He can't believe his luck. The head clown comes up to him and says..

"Hey mister, are you the horse's head?"

"No." Johnny replies.

"Are you the horse's ear?"

"No"

"Are you the horse's tail?"

"No"

"Then you must be the horse's ASS!!!!"

And then whole tent erupts into fits of laughter all of Johnny's expense. Everyone is laughing, except for Johnny. He's as pissed as fuck. He vows then and there that next year, when the circus comes to town, he'll get his revenge on the clown.

As he's walking home, still fuming from the humiliation that the clown caused, Johnny thinks of ways that he can get back at the clown. Death, violence, poisoning....and then it hits him. Johnny will give the clown a taste of his own medicine. Next year, Johnny will blast the clown with the biggest insult ever!

The next morning Johnny flips through the phonebook looking for someone who can help him with his revenge. Then he finds an ad.

INSULT SCHOOL

Sick of being picked on? Come to our school and soon you'll be verbally attacking people with vigor!

'This is just what I need!!!" says Johnny. So he rings up the school and enrolls the next day.

So every day Johnny goes to the insult school, studying hard so he can learn the best and most harsh insult so he can get back at the clown. On top of this, he still stacks shelves at the supermarket to get the money for the circus. Day in, day out Johnny works his ass off.

Then his day arrives...

As soon as the circus opens it's gates Johnny barges to the front of the line, pushing people out of his way. No longer is he a kind, considerate man. He's a pissed off m.f. hell bent on revenge. He give the ticket seller the money, snatches the ticket and storms off.

He sees all the regular shit. The animals, the freaks, the clowns. He's so excited that he goes into the Big Top an hour before the show starts, just so he can get a good seat. The tent begins to fill up and the show starts...

The dancing horses come out, Johnny yawns. Then the elephants, Johnny tries to stay awake. And then the act Johnny has waited a year for, the clowns. The clowns run around and do their act making everyone laugh. Johnny wonders why everyone is laughing, it's the same shit they did last year. When all this is finished, the head clown picks up a microphone, exactly the same as last year, and says "Now we'd like to pick a member of the audience to help with our show."

All the lights go out and a spotlight circles the crowd. and, as luck should have it again, it lands on Johnny. Johnny is sits cool, calm and collected. The head clown comes up to him and says..

"Hey mister, are you the horse's head?"

"No." Johnny replies.

"Are you the horse's ear?"

"No"

"Are you the horse's tail?"

"No"

"Then you must be the horse's ASS!!!!"

And again the whole tent erupts with laughter. Except for Johnny. He sits there staring straight at the clown, a look of pure evil and hate on his face. The laughter quickly dies down as everyone knows something is going to happen. The crowd watched. This is Johnny's moment. He takes a deep breath, looks at the clown and says...

"FUCK YOU, CLOWN!"

I am agog and aghast with delight at the clever punchline to this classic comedic bit. thank you forever mouse. i love you and will bring you cheese from costco

[the-firebird69]

There are other people that got hurt but we're going to mention it and some other time there are important things happening here right now

-the empire proper is moving in with ships and they say it is to move Tommy f ship and we do believe them. They're also here for other reasons to straighten certain people out and they want to capture our son badly

-they're moving a pretty good size contingent the foreigners are too and they're going to be monitoring. We're moving it as well and we are part of the independent group and we are pretty big and they're coming in too there are several other things happening

-with the ships come people and they want to move in and they need to everyone needs a place to stay and they're moving around and they can't find anything and they're trying to build and they can't get permission and they hear buildings going to be ripped out and say I wonder why and they check and they see that it's probably better so they're going to go check those buildings. Let's see why and they can't do it so they're going to develop parts of Miami that are not and they're going to redevelop and redevelopment is a big deal and they're going to cordon off areas and they're beginning tonight and it's going to competition and it's a little bit of fighting but not tons and it's going on right now and we're in there too fighting over area

-we need to get going here on stuff and tonight as well there are a few more things that are very important to mention it is a huge Force coming down from North and South Carolina and we don't think we should let that many in and they think it's wrong and they want to stop the aggression and we say we can't it's like half the population of Florida and they say okay we're going to protect ourselves then and we said okay and they're stopping them from going there. There's a few other things

-there's an action just south of Charlotte county is south of north fort Myers and it is bad news the African Americans and mixed and minorities really got in a fight is more luck it's because of what has happened in globally and they wouldn't put up with it and the morlock got hit real bad vowing revenge and minority warlock are moving in. An enlarged numbers and big ones and they're constantly calling and they're coming from up North.

-Garth was in trouble today from The trial and his people were in trouble they called the wrong people apparently and he said I should call minorities and start getting it and he was moving them in and he's getting rough from both sides finally he said I've got to get a big picture here and he's looking all over the place and he says this happened to us everywhere and I've got to do something so he remembers a few things to do hey got a time and it's starting to work you got it done and it started to work so we're going to publish it's important

Thor Freya

Zues Hera

Olympus

[sunbeamah]

alright, let me try for ability swap, same roles

sukuna inhabiting Yuuji's body with Yaga's technique... He wouldnt even notice. Yuuji wakes up and hes surrounded by possessed dolls he thinks hes in the Anabelle movies.

he meets gojo, who would probably cover up the possession bcs he cant prevent an execution with pain killer im sorry.

OH BUT MEGUMI COULD!!!!! tbh i think megumi with gojo's techniques... idk it just seems like he'd be depressed.

and then we meet Nobara, with fucking SUKUNA'S ABILITIES oh yuuji don't worry about the execution at ALL. As soon as he befriends miss cleave dismantle reverse and seduces ole limitless six eyes over there, it's DONE. he'll literally be fine.

Sukuna could make crow dolls for him awwww. unless he's still as bloodthirsty. literally what can he do though. OMG HE'D BE ABLE TO MAKE SO MANY DOLLS W FOUR ARMS!! AT LEAST TWICE THE EFFICIENCY! But he was quite big, do they make needles large enough for him?? Probably got them custom made...

Anyways, who's next? Ah yes. the principal with a sword. ........ good luck fighting him for the entrance exam yuuji, at least you've still got your strength. kisses!

And then he meets -- can shoko still be a healer in this situation? i think she'd be the third years' teacher. clap switch places my beloved. she'd call it clappy flappy or smth idk.

if Yuuji gets killed in that prison scene, it's by sukuna stabbing knitting needles thru his heart LMAOO

Then they meet the second years! The prodigy healer, Panda; the physically strongest sorcerer in the world, Maki (nothings changed except that she has CE now!); the bastard/lost child/not heir of the Kamo clan, Inumaki. And Yuuta who is also strong but with no CE. Huh!

A year level that can beat ur ass to hell and back, heal you right up, then beat it down again!

They have the exchange program with Mai who is a panda has two souls she can switch between. Todo, who has a gun. If he doesn't like your type of woman he's shooting you 😭😭😭😭😭

Then Yuuji comes back to life with the help of a. a binding vow. ig.

and he meets Nanami, the leader of the Zenin Clan i guess! I guess Maki can come back bcs fuck knows he'd give it up to her! Either he'd quitting and having her take over on day one OR he;s excommunicating everyone but her and Mai!

Yuuji reveals he's alive and Nobara probably almost kills him again! Megumi figures out how to extend limitless over other people if that's possible (only when they're in contact w each other) with Gojo-sensei's help.

then Kugiita meet eso and kechizu who, if they have a technique anything like Choso's new one (cursed speech!), just straight up kills them ig!! Nah but. If they have cursed speech: suggestion, then Yuuji and Nobara could break out of it with their iron wills. And maybe a few cleverly deployed crows. Yuuji could probably never kill a crow tho he'd feel sooooo bad. if he ever did Nobara needs to bring it back with RCT bcs he'll never stop feeling guilty over it.

Meanwhile, if they do end up killing Eso and Kechizu, Choso plots revenge and will absolutely get away with it! Unless... (ig if he wanted to torture Yuuji he'd bring him to the brink of death, then feel it, and immediately want to die himself. "heal", "get better", he'd say those kinds of things. but would the blood connection work the same way if he'd not a Kamo? how would it work for the Inumakis? Can he speak to his bros telepathically, or hear their thoughts/ hear what they say while using CE? i don't know...)

And that's season one!

I’ve done roleswap and abilityswap AUs before but it’s always been me deciding like “ooo wouldn’t it be interesting if x character was in y’s position instead??” It’s never been totally up to chance before. But I want to write and can’t think of what to add to Butterfly4 or TIT9, soooooo

character: character they’re being role swapped with

yuuji: mei mei i wasnt thinking when i put all the charas in the same list oh my days...

megumi: megumi. he got. himself. SECOND SPIN: gojo

gojo: nitta

sukuna: yaga

nobara: SUKUNA

shoko: todo ENOUGH

panda: shoko

maki: yuuji

inumaki: choso

mai: panda ......... i never actually took the time to think about what this may mean. getting panda i mean

kenjaku: nobara . i didnt think about this one either

geto: junpei man 😭

choso: inumaki GOATTTTTTT he'd use his ability to make yuuji call him oniichan lbr

mahito: nanami , THIS MATCHUP IS FOUL AND THIS WHEEL IS AGAINST ME ; whyd i even put mahito in man

nanami: megumi

junpei: kenjaku UM.......

kusakabe: mahito idek wtf im supposed to do here. i dont even know this guy well enough to write him whyd i include him

yuuta: maki , this is his dream ill tell u that

arata: yuuta ; man... im gonna have to redo this

yaga: kusakabe

todo: mai

[intimidating-fettuccine]

The big long lore post

This post contains summaries of all of my character lore, and will remain on the pinned post on the blog for easy access!

PLEASE NOTE - THIS WILL HAVE TRIGGERING CONTENT WITHIN IT. CREEPS WITH ABUSE MENTIONS ARE MARKED.

Obvious disclaimer! Some of these are VERY different from their original canon, and that’s the point for me. I understand not everyone likes or wants to follow my lore, but my writing follows this lore.

Putting them under a keep reading because this is so long

Jeff (Mentions of abuse):

The second-born son to a family that didn't want him, born weaker but more intelligent than his older brother, Jeff was physically, verbally, and emotionally abused by his mother his entire life. The only kindness Jeff ever knew was from his older brother Liu, the attributed golden child of the family. Used to being a victim of bullying, his luck took a turn for the worst when he was escorted to an open field, tied up, and lit on fire by the worst of his bullies, only making it out alive due to Jane saving him. On the night that he snapped, he murdered his parents in cold blood before trying to escape, harming his brother in the process. To disguise himself easier and cause a distraction, Jeff in a break of panic and insanity started several house fires as a diversion. Jeff now lives life through a facade, presenting himself as a strong and capable person, hiding the weak, scared version of himself inside.

Liu (Mentions of abuse):

The first-born son to a family that originally treasured him, life started off good for Liu, until Jeff came into the mixture. While Liu will never tell Jeff, and will never shatter his reality, Liu was not as loved and treasured as Jeff thought. Their mother constantly pushed Liu to be the best, better than Jeff, and would beat him and scream at him as well whenever he disappointed her, however, Liu was better at hiding the bruises. Sully developed in his early adolescence as a way for him to cope with the trauma of his mother, Sully taking the brunt of the abuse and Liu trying to save his brother from the same fate. On the night that Jeff attacked him while fleeing, Liu ended up wandering into the woods, and in a state of half-death, ended up in a state of limbo. He ended up stumbling through a hidden area to access the Underworld from the human world, and in his state of limbo transformed into a self-aware zombie. Liu now spends his days trying to reconcile with his sibling.

Jane:

Jane grew up a normal child in a loving household. However, her fate was changed when the Masters family moved in across the street. While Jane had always shown the boys kindness, often helping Jeff in secret, telling off his bullies, and protecting him from the shadows, she felt ultimately betrayed when in his spark of insanity he lit her house on fire in the wake of his path. Jane suffered severe injuries trying to navigate inside to her parents who ultimately ended up dying in the fire. She vowed to seek revenge upon Jeff, but upon learning they both contracted with Slender and were not allowed to fatally harm each other was forced to form a truce with him. She's learning to give him ounces of forgiveness these days and finds hating him to be too exhausting as she tries to move on. They're neither friends nor enemies.

Nina:

Involved with the above three, Nina often followed in her older brother's footsteps and took great joy in terrorizing Jeff, hating him from an early age. She ended up developing a crush on the older brother, Liu, although he never returned her affections due to the age difference and her treatment of his sibling. After learning that Liu still loves Jeff even after the incident, Nina now holds that same hatred for him as well. After Jeff ended up seeking revenge and killing his bullies, he accidentally left Nina alive, and she viewed this as him mocking her and getting back at her for the years of abuse. She is now devoted to trying to kill him. She also has an issue with Jane who no longer has any drive to kill Jeff, viewing Jane as a traitor and an idiot for giving up on her vengeance. She is currently employed under Zalgo and works as one of his highest-ranking workers.

BEN (Mentions of abuse):

An only child born to a happy household, BEN was well-loved until his mother passed away when he was still a child from an illness that had been plaguing him for years. His father turned to alcohol and violence to cope, and while his mother would protect BEN when he was younger, once she passed BEN was forced to endure years of abuse alone, obtaining his fear of water from his father mock drowning him as an abusive punishment. After saving up cash and trying to escape, BEN's father discovered his hiding space and in a fit of rage and betrayal, intentionally drowned BEN in their bathtub. Now a mess of hollowness and fear, BEN drowns (pun I didn’t notice until beta reading) himself in work and games to distract himself from his trauma, trying to prevent himself from attempting to actually drown himself again from the emotional high it had given him. Working as the trusted, intelligent informant under Slender, he does whatever he can to hide his past from others.

Toby (Mentions of abuse):

Born as the second child to an influential CEO who was insanely fixated on having the perfect family, Toby, his sister, and his mother lived in an abusive hellhole for a very long time. He was rapidly punished once he started developing his Tourette's, as his father viewed it as an imperfection, and so all of their punishments would continue growing worse. Strict education and strict rules must be followed, and if you break them, endless suffering follow. Toby, unable to feel the pain of punishment, was forced to watch his sister and mother be tortured, serving as a much more effective punishment for Toby. Mock execution, starvation, isolation, sensory deprivation/assault, anything that would terrify his family, his father would do. After his father accidentally murdered his sister in a punishment gone wrong, Toby snapped and murdered him, escaping and running away while his mother covered for him. His mother still loves him and cares for him today while he recovers from all the abuse in hiding at Slender's mansion.

Tim and Brian:

Friends from a young age, Tim was the quiet loner, and Brian was the anxious boy who couldn't make friends. Brian was drawn to Tim like a moth to a flame, and the two of them were always side by side. They lived perfectly normal and happy lives until Brian got the interesting idea for them to try and be ghost hunters. It started off as an innocent and stupid hobby until they actually ended up stumbling upon truly cursed items, leaving the two of them to become possessed by entities that we now call Masky and Hoodie. The two of them searched everywhere to try and get help but no exorcism could expel the spirits from them. They eventually stumbled upon Slender in the woods near Brian's house, and he took them in, offering assistance with the entities now residing in them.

Kate:

A girl with a penchant for exploration, Kate had a habit of escaping from the free world and spent most of her time in the woods located behind her house. She liked the exploration and would try and visit cursed areas around her town, and one she had discovered online wasn't too far from her, at the very edge of the woods. It was an old shut down mining facility, however, it was shut down for a reason. There was a cursed monster lurking in the depths, and it ended up casting its curse upon her, invading her senses and causing her to leak a dark, wet, ashy substance when in her cursed and transformed state. She ended up being saved by Slender, attracted to the commotion as he keeps tabs on some of the entities residing in the human world. He gave her a place to live in his mansion and helps her cope with the curse residing in her veins. Due to the effect the curse has on her eyes, Kate was even originally unaware of Slender's true appearance. 

Natalie (Mentions of abuse):

A daughter born in a family hoping for only boys. With a misogynistic father looking for a son to pass his business down to, Natalie was the opposite of what he wanted. Their next child, Natalie's younger brother, would go on to be the favored child, while Natalie was forced to behave like a boy and not allowed to own anything remotely feminine, and she was even referred to as "Nathan" instead of Natalie in the house. Natalie and her mother were routinely beaten by their father due to his hatred of their existence. After her younger brother grew close to her, treasuring Natalie as his older sister, this made her father even angrier and the abuse ended up escalating. As Natalie grew older, she tried harder and harder to become more feminine, and her father in a fit of rage started to sexually assault her as it was the only thing women were good for in his mind. Eventually, after dealing with all of this for so long, her younger brother snuck Natalie a knife, giving her the means to murder their father while he covered for her, allowing her to escape. The two are still in touch to this day and have made lots of progress in recovering.

Helen (Mentions of abuse):

The only son born to rich and influential parents who were hoping for a daughter. Helen lived two lives, one as a studious young boy in the public, forced to get the highest possible education, and in private nothing more than a toy for his parents to dress up as a girl, forcing him to act feminine and portray himself as a girl behind closed doors. Helen found escape in art and wished to grow up and pursue it, however, his parents ridiculed him for this, destroying any art supplies they would find and physically abusing, degrading, and humiliating him constantly as punishment. One of Helen's duties behind closed doors would be to dress up as a woman and cook dinner for them every night, and one day after finally snapping he poisoned their dinner, effectively killing them before escaping and running away, discovering Slender a few years later. Helen doesn't remember doing so and will dodge questions about it if asked, but his parent's corpses were discovered heavily mutilated and posed artistically. Helen still retains this habit today, although he always claims he never remembers doing so.

Dr. Smiley:

A completely normal man on the outside, Smiley always had a flair for the more inhumane sides of science on the inside. He liked pushing experiments a bit too far, doing things a little bit too monstrous for what would be considered safe. He lived as a well-respected doctor during the day and a sadistic experimenter at night. He was eventually outed for his crimes and went to escape. He lived on the run for a few years before Slender chose him specifically for his medical knowledge, scouting him as the first official doctor for the mansion residents, so long as he kept his experiments on their targets rather than those that lived within the mansion. 

Sally (Mentions of abuse):

A child that was raised in an orphanage that was actually used as a human trafficking organization. Sally was a frequently used target within the organization, one of the more popular children. Constantly abused and assaulted, Sally never knew peace for the entirety of her life within that hellhole. Eventually, the organization was discovered, and in a last-ditch effort, all of the children within it were murdered and disposed of. Sally went on to wander around in the Underworld as a tormented spirit until Slender found her and took pity on her, giving her a place to finally rest. She still carries her severe hatred and mistrust of men but is making progress in recovering in the safety of the mansion.

Eyeless Jack (Mentions of abuse):

Another child brought up in an orphanage as his parents died in an accident when he was still a child, Jack ended up getting adopted into what he hoped would be a loving family. He was instead taken into a cult that only picked him due to his heterochromatic eyes. Forced to study, become nocturnal, and isolate themselves from each other, the children of the cult had to follow all of the various rules within it. Those that disobeyed rules would serve as human experiments as punishment, and despite being perfectly good, other kids would pin things on Jack so he had to suffer. After reaching a certain age, Jack would also be forced to consume human flesh. They went through all these lengths to prepare a vessel for a demon they wished to summon, and Jack would go on to become that vessel, the vessel for Ambrosa, the demon of scholars. Carved with symbols, branded and mutilated, eyes removed as an offering for the demon, in his final rebellion, rather than having the demon summoned, it fused its own soul with Jack's by accident, turning Jack himself into a demon that slaughtered all remaining humans in the organization and lost his memories in the process. He was eventually discovered and rescued by Slender, taken on as a second doctor. He views himself as a monster, containing feline ears, a tail, claws, teeth, and instincts, tormented by the glimpses of horrid memories he possesses and prefers to live alone.

Laughing Jack (Mentions of abuse):

Designed as a toy for Isaac by the Overworld, Jack was sent to him as a gift. Whoever possesses Jack's box has complete control over him and can command him at their will. This would have served no issue, had Jack not suffered an immediate glitch in his system after being received, becoming self-aware, however, he was unable to speak or move without commands from Isaac. Jack would grow traumatized, being forced to watch as Isaac was abused by his parents and unable to help him, left for years staring ahead and unable to move. Jack began to grow bitter and spiteful towards Isaac, for Isaac could do everything that Jack couldn't, could live however he wanted while Jack had to follow commands, and the more bitter he grew, the duller his once bright colors would become, now dull and washed out. Jack, unaware of the fact that his emotions were leaking into Isaac, ended up influencing Isaac to become as bitter and spiteful as himself. Isaac would begin to use Jack to kill animals, destroy houses, and set them ablaze to torment those he hated. It wasn't until Isaac brought home a girl and tried to assault her, ordering Jack to restrain her so he could that Jack finally snapped and gained control, denying Isaac's demands, although Isaac forced him into his box, and forced him to watch Isaac's crime, taunting him all the while. Isaac made the mistake of calling him back out, and Jack acted on impulse, torturing and murdering him, causing him to fall and truly become demonic, gaining claws and fanged teeth in the change, possessing darker magic. Eventually taken in my Slender, he now harbors a fear of children due to their cruelty and lack of empathy and views himself as a monster.

Jason:

Originally designed as a mechanical life-size toy for a magical toy shop in the Overworld powered by a music box "heart", Jason carried out his days as a caretaker and assistant in said shop. He was beloved by children and soaked up the attention like a sponge, however, envy is a hell of a drug. Eventually, the children would begin paying attention to newer models more than Jason, and he soon became ignored and forgotten. After becoming too self-aware, and too jealous, he suffered a system glitch and mutation. No longer the favored toy and beginning to become possessed by his jealousy, Jason snapped, slaughtering all those in the shop at the time and being cast into the Underworld. He now harbors a severe fear and distrust of people, especially children, and he fears everyone will take advantage of him and abandon him. He's built up a powerful facade for himself in the Underworld and garnered himself high standing, doing whatever he can to manipulate and keep the spotlight on himself so he can keep soaking up the attention.

Candy Pop:

In Candy's original lore, he fused with Night Terrors upon accidentally glancing into the mirror he was trapped in by Candy, but I take a different stance on this in my lore, saying Candy never trapped him in the first place. The other main difference, instead of Candy/Night slaughtering the rest of the Genyrs together, Night had come to slaughter them himself to absorb their souls. After witnessing all of his people having been killed, Candy in a last-ditch effort fused his soul with Night's, trapping them together and forcing them to share a body. This might be subject to fluctuation in the future as I don't have all of his lore completely meshed out, but this is a general idea. 

Hobo Heart:

Hobo's main lore could be followed by the OG for my blog if you wished, although I have one key difference in my own lore. In the original, it was C.C that ended up causing him to break free, but in my lore, it was someone else. Hobo, one night when wandering around, stumbled upon a nice old witch outside of her hut, unaffected by the aura he gave off, she was the first to ever show him kindness. She took him in where he had nowhere else to go and would help him in his tasks while teaching him things like simple spells as well. She was the one that eventually gave him the power to fight for what he truly wanted and to live his life, and upon her passing, he decided to take charge of his own fate, abandoning the tree he had served and choosing a life of his own, left only with the treasured necklace she always wore that she had left him. While traveling in the Underworld, he happened upon Slender's mansion, asking for employment, as the witch had actually informed him of "the tall man in the world of death", the one who would look out for him. Slender was happy to welcome him on as part of the crew.

Puppeteer:

Originally a boy with a normal life, he was cruising along and living the high life. For lore reasons I haven't completely fleshed out yet, he would go on to become haunted by a spirit. It began to slowly drive him insane, and he would do whatever he could to escape the spirit that kept tormenting him, leading him to end up committing suicide, however, that allowed the spirit to mesh into him, causing Puppeteer to become the poltergeist he is today, although no longer the cheerful, happy boy he was, and now the narcissistic and demanding person that the spirit possessing him used to be. While not a full possession, Pup still retains his memories from human life but finds it hard to let down his guard and allow his true self to come out. He ended up accepting a job offer from Slender as he had nothing else to do with his afterlife. 

Slender:

The oldest son of the Mann family, Slender has always had high expectations on his shoulders and was the most educated, forced to follow along in his father's footsteps. In an act of teenage rebellion, Slender decided to instead take after his mother and fulfill his own life in the meantime. He founded his own assassination company as a way to further spite his father, now competing with him for the better company, founding the mansion as a place to take in employees and help them to recover from their trauma, being especially drawn to wandering, lost souls. When the time comes and his mother steps down, he will take after her and become the head grim reaper in the Underworld, in charge of harvesting and guiding souls.

Trender:

The second oldest son in the Mann family, trender was always closest to his mother who works part-time as a model and has an affinity for fashion. He always accompanied her, making many acquaintances early on in life, devoting himself to becoming a fashion designer when he grows up, and he ended up succeeding. He is a renowned stylist, respected in both the Underworld and Overworld for his designs, and he's an extremely sought after designer. 

Offender:

The third born son, and the one that struggles the most. While all of his other brothers always had clear aspirations, praise, and attention placed on them by their parents, Offender often drifted around, unsure of what to do with himself. With a passion for entertaining people, he would go on to found the Underworld's most popular club and bar, although he finds it hard to feel fulfilled with this when his brothers have done so much for. He often puts himself down and wishes he could have done something better with his life.

Splendor:

The final born son, and the most surprising one. Extremely eager, bubbly, and friendly on the outside, Splendor has a dark and sinister side to himself, almost like a split personality (but not quite as it's still "him", it's just triggered by certain reactions), and he does his best to keep it hidden as he hates it and hates how it brings fear to people. Splendor travels the three worlds helping children in need and getting them the care and support that they need. 

Zalgo:

Zalgo was the only son and heir to the king and queen of the Underworld. He was never allowed friends or any source of entertainment and only had studying and work to occupy his time, harshly punished by his parents if he strayed from the path they made for him. He has a deep distrust of others due to the fact that many are eager to take advantage of him due to his status as the current king of the Underworld. He has a side company, an assassination one like Slender's that he uses to occupy himself and more diplomatically wipe out the scum of the Underworld. He has a deep affinity for plants, literature, and magic, and pursues them in his free time.

[cielrouge]

YA SFF Books by Black Authors 

A Song Below Water by Bethany C. Morrow: About the strength of black sisterhood set in Portland, OR, best friends Tavi and Effie discover their true supernatural identity when Effie starts being haunted by demons from her past, and Tavia accidentally lets out her magical siren voice during a police stop.

A Chorus Rises (A Song Below Water #2) by Bethany C. Morrow: Teen influencer Naema Bradshaw is an Eloko, a person who’s gifted with a song that woos anyone who hears it. Everyone loves her — well, until she's cast as the awful person who exposed Tavia’s secret siren powers. When a new, flourishing segment of Naema’s online supporters start targeting black girls, however, Naema must discover the true purpose of her magical voice.

A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown: Inspired by West African folklore in which a grieving crown princess, Karina, and a desperate refugee, Malik, find themselves on a collision course to murder each other, despite their growing attraction.

Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor: Sunny Nwazue, an American-born albino child of Nigerian parents, moves with her family back to Nigeria, where she learns that she has latent magical powers which she and three similarly gifted friends use to catch a serial killer.

Akata Warrior (Akata Witch #2) by Nnedi Okorafor: Now stronger, feistier, and a bit older, Sunny Nwazue, along with her friends from the the Leopard Society, travel through worlds, both visible and invisible, to the mysterious town of Osisi, where they fight in a climactic battle to save humanity.

Bad Witch Burning by Jessica Lewis: For fans of Us and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina comes a witchy story full of black girl magic as one girl’s dark ability to summon the dead offers her a chance at a new life, while revealing to her an even darker future.

Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi: After he eats the sin of a royal, Taj, a talented aki, or sin-eater who consumes the guilt of others whose transgressions are exorcised from them by powerful but corrupt Mages, is drawn into a plot to destroy the city, and he must fight to save the princess he loves and his own life.

Beasts of Prey by Ayana Gray: Two Black teenagers, talented Beastkeeper Koffi and warrior-in-training Ekon, must trek into a magical jungle to take down an ancient creature menacing the city of Lkossa, before they become the hunted.

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton: In the opulent world of Orléans, where Beauty is a commodity only a few control, Belle Camellia Beauregard will learn the dark secrets behind her powers, and rise up to change the world. 

A Blade So Black by L.L. McKinney: A whimsical and butt-kicking Alice in Wonderland retelling featuring a black teen heroine who battles Nightmares in the dark and terrifying dream realm known as Wonderland. 

Bleeding Violet by Dia Reeves: 16-year-old Hanna reunites with her estranged mother in an East Texas town that is haunted with doors to dimensions of the dead and protected by demon hunters called Mortmaine.

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury: Set in near-future Toronto in which, after failing to come into her powers, 16-year-old Black witch Voya Thomas must choose between losing her family’s magic forever or murdering her first love.

The Bones of Ruin by Sarah Raughley: Set in Victorian England, African tightrope walker Iris cannot die; but soon gets drafted in the fight-to-the-death tournament of freaks where she learns the terrible truth of who and what she really is.

The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris: A gripping, evocative novel about Black teen Alex Rufus, who has the power to see into the future, and whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi: 17-year-old Zélie and companions journey to a mythic island seeking a chance to bring back magic to the land of Orïsha, in a fantasy world infused with the textures of West Africa.

Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of Orïsha #2) by Tomi Adeyemi: After battling the impossible, Zélie and Amari have finally succeeded in bringing magic back to the land of Orïsha. But with civil war looming on the horizon, Zélie finds herself at a breaking point: she must discover a way to bring the kingdom together or watch as Orïsha tears itself apart.

Cinderella Is Dead by Kalynn Bayron: 16-year-old Sophia would much rather marry Erin, her childhood best friend, than parade in front of suitors. At the ball, Sophia flees, hiding in Cinderella’s mausoleum. There, she meets Constance, the last known descendant of Cinderella and her step sisters. Together they vow to bring down the king once and for all.

The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris: A gripping, evocative novel about Black teen Alex Rufus, who has the power to see into the future, and whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death.

Crown of Thunder (Beasts Made of Night #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi: Taj has escaped Kos, but Queen Karima will go to any means necessary--including using the most deadly magic--to track him down. 

A Crown So Cursed (Nightmare Verse #3) by L.L. McKinney: Alice is ready to jump into battle when she learns that someone is building an army of Nightmares to attack the mortal world, before she learns of a personal connection to Wonderland.

Daughters of Jubilation by Kara Lee Corthron: In Jim Crow South, black teen Evalene Deschamps finds her place among a family of women gifted with magical abilities, known as jubilation - a gift passed down from generations of black women since the time of slavery.

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland: The Civil War is over, but mostly because the dead rose at Gettysburg—and then started rising everywhere else. Fighting the undead is a breeze for Jane McKenne, an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. But the fight for freedom? That’s a different story.

Deathless Divide (Dread Nation #2) by Justina Ireland: After the fall of Summerland, Jane McKeene hoped her life would get simpler. But nothing is easy when you’re a girl trained in putting down the restless dead, and a devastating loss on the road to Nicodermus has Jane questioning everything she thought she knew about surviving in 1880’s America.

A Dream So Dark (Nightmare Verse #2) by L.L. McKinney: Still reeling from her recent battle (and grounded until she graduates) Alice must cross the Veil to rescue her friends and stop the Black Knight once and for all in Wonderland.

Early Departures by Justin A. Reynolds: Jamal’s best friend Q is brought back to life after a freak accident … but they only have a short time together before he will die again.  How can Jamal fix his friendship without the truth?

Fate of Flames by Sarah Raughley:  Before they can save the world from the monstrous phantoms, four girls who have the power to control the classical elements: earth, air, fire, and water must first try to figure out how to work together. 

For All Time by Shanna Miles: Tamar and Fayard, two Black teens, are fated to repeat their love story across hundreds of lifetimes, from 14th-century Mali to the distant future, as they struggle to break the cycle.

The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna: Inspired by the culture of West Africa, a feminist fantasy debut traces the experiences of 16-year-old Deka, who is invited to leave her discriminatory village to join the emperor’s army of near-immortal women warriors.

The Good Luck Girls by Charlotte Nicole Davis: The country of Arketta calls them Good Luck Girls--they know their luck is anything but. Sold to a "welcome house" as children and branded with cursed markings. When Clementine accidentally kills a man, the girls risk a dangerous escape to find freedom, justice, and revenge.

Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron: Set in a West African-inspired fantasy kingdom, Arrah comes from a long line of powerful witchdoctors, yet fails at magic. When Arrah trade years off her life for magic to stop the Demon King from destroying the world—that is if it doesn’t kill her first.

Legacy of Light (The Effgies #3) by Sarah Raughley: After Saul’s strike on Oslo—one seemingly led by Maia herself—the Effigies’ reputation is in shambles. Belle has gone rogue, Chae Rin and Lake have disappeared, and the Sect is being dismantled and replaced by a terrifying new world order helmed by Blackwell. If the Effigies can’t put the pieces together soon, there may not be much left of the world they’ve fought so desperately to save.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn: In this King Arthur retelling, Black teen Bree Matthews infiltrates a secret society of powerful magic wielders to find out the truth behind her mother’s untimely death.

Mem by Bethany C. Morrow: In alternate reality Montreal (1925), a young woman’s personality is the result of a startling experimental procedure, leaving her to struggle with the question of who she really is.

Miles Morales, Spider-Man by Jason Reynolds: But Miles Morales accidentally discovers a villainous teacher's plan to turn good kids bad, he will need to come to terms with his own destiny as the new Spider-man. 

Oh My Gods by Alexandra Sheppard: Half-mortal teenager Helen Thomas goes to live with her father—who is Zeus, masquerading as a university professor—and must do her best to keep the family secret intact.

The Opposite of Always by Justin A. Reynolds: After falling for Kate, her unexpected death sends Jack back in time to the moment they first met, but he soon learns that his actions have consequences when someone else close to him dies.

Orleans by Sherri L. Smith: Set in a futuristic, hostile Orleans landscape, Fen de la Guerre must deliver her tribe leader's baby over the Wall into the Outer States before her blood becomes tainted with Delta Fever. 

Nubia: Real One by L.L. McKinney & Robyn Smith: When Nubia’s best friend, Quisha, is threatened by a boy who thinks he owns the town, Nubia will risk it all—her safety, her home, and her crush on that cute kid in English class—to become the hero society tells her she isn’t.

A Phoenix First Must Burn: 16 Stories of Black Girl Magic, Resistance, and Hope edited by Patrice Caldwell: Filled with stories of love and betrayal, strength and resistance, this collection contains an array of complex and true-to-life characters in which you cannot help but see yourself reflected. Witches and scientists, sisters and lovers, priestesses and rebels.

This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron: In this contemporary fantasy inspired by The Secret Garden, Black teen Briseis has a gift: she can grow plants with a single touch. Up against a centuries-old curse and the deadliest plant on earth, Bri must harness her gift to protect herself and her family, when a nefarious group comes after her in search of a rare and dangerous immortality elixir.

A Psalm of Storm and Silence (A Song of Wraiths and Ruin #2) by Roseanne A. Brown: As the fabric holding Sonande together begins to tear, Malik and Karina once again find themselves torn between their duties and their desires.

A Queen of Gilded Horns (A River of Royal Blood #2) by Amanda Joy: After learning the truth of her heritage, Eva is on the run with her sister Isa as her captive, but with the Queendom of Myre on the brink of revolution, Eva and Isa must make peace with each other to save their kingdom.

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko: In a West African-inspired empire, Tarisai is raised by The Lady and sent to kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won’t stand by and become someone’s pawn—but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself?

Redemptor (Raybearer #2) by Jordan Ifueko: For the first time, an Empress Redemptor sits on Aritsar's throne. To appease the sinister spirits of the dead, Tarisai must now anoint a council of her own, coming into her full power as a Raybearer.

The Ravens by Danielle Page & Kass Morgan: The sisters of Kappu Rho Nu share a secret: they’re a coven of witches. For Vivi Deveraux, being one of Kappa Rho Nu’s Ravens means getting a chance to redefine herself. For Scarlett Winters, a bonafide Raven and daughter of a legacy Raven. When Vivi and Scarlett are paired as big and little for initiation, they find themselves sinking into the sinister world of blood oaths and betrayals.

Rebel Sisters (War Girls #2) by Tochi Onyebuchi: Though they are working toward common goals of helping those who suffered, Ify and Uzo are worlds apart. But when a mysterious virus breaks out among the children in the Space Colonies, their paths collide.

Reaper of Souls (Kingdom of Souls #2) by Rena Barron: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible.

A River of Royal Blood by Amanda Joy: A North African-inspired feminist fantasy in which two sisters, Eva and Isa must compete in a magical duel to the death for the right to inherit the queendom of Myre.  

Slice of Cherry by Dia Reeves: In Portero, Texas, teens Kit and Fancy Cordelle, daughters of the infamous Bonesaw Killer, bring two boys with similar tendencies to a world of endless possibilities they have discovered behind a mysterious door.

Siege of Shadows (The Effigies #2) by Sarah Raughley:  After Saul reappears with an army of soldiers with Effigy-like abilities, threatening to unleash the monstrous Phantoms, e-year-old Maia and the other Effigies hope to defeat him by discovering the source of their power over the four classical elements, but they are betrayed by the Sect and bogged down by questions about the previous Fire Effigy's murder.

The Sisters of Reckoning (The Good Luck Girls #2) by Charlotte Nicole Davis: The blockbuster sequel to an alternate Old West-set commercial fantasy adventure.

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow: Set in the near-future, in which a captive teen human and a young alien leader—bonded by their love of forbidden books and music—embark on a desperate road trip as they attempt to overturn alien rule and save humankind. 

War Girls by Tochi Onyebuchi: Set in a futuristic, Black Panther-inspired Nigeria, sisters Onyii and Ify, separated by a devastating civil war, must fight their way back to each other against all odds.

Vessel by Sarah Beth Durst: When the goddess Bayla fails to take over Liyana's body, Liyana's people abandon her in the desert to find a more worthy vessel, but she soon meets Korbyn, who says the souls of seven deities have been stolen and he needs Liyana's help to find them.

The Weight of Stars by K. Ancrum: After a horrific accident brings loners Ryann and Alexandria together, Ryann learns that Alexandria's mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system.

White Smoke by Tiffany D. Jackson: Black teen Marigold and her blended family move into a newly renovated, picture-perfect home in a dilapidated Midwestern city, and are haunted by what she thinks are ghosts, but might be far worse.

Wings of Ebony by J. Elle: Black teen Rue, from a poor neighborhood who, after learning she is half-human, half-goddess, must embrace both sides of her heritage to unlock her magic and destroy the racist gods poisoning her neighborhood with violence, drugs, and crime.

Witches Steeped in Gold by Ciannon Thomas: In this Jamaican-inspired fantasy debut, two witches from enemy castes—one seeking power, and one seeking revenge—will stop at nothing to overthrow the witch queen, even if it means forming an alliance with each other and unleashing chaos on their island nation.

Within These Wicked Walls by Lauren Blackwood: An Ethiopian-inspired Jane Eyre retelling in which an unlicensed debtera, or exorcist, Andromeda, is hired to rid a castle of its dangerous curses, only to fall in love with Magnus Rochester, a boy whose life hangs in the balance.

Yesterday Is History by Kosoko Jackson: Black teen Andre Cobb undergoes a liver transplant and as a side effect winds up slipping through time from present-day Boston to 1969 NYC on the eve of the Stonewall riots, delivering a story that is part romance, part gay history, and part time-travel drama, exploring how far we have and haven't come. 

[aliensunflower-fics]

Marinette The Perfect Daughter In Law: A Prompt

[ I've seen a few ‘everyone loves Marinette AU’s’ and a couple Marvel DC ‘all the mentors want THEIR kid to end up with Marinette AU’s’ and well frankly! I felt inspired! So I present to you my new prompt / AU thing! In which all the most powerful / rich / popular people in Paris decide to play matchmaker… ]

It starts when Adrien and Kagami have a less than AMICABLE break up according to their parents and the media anyway in reality it was a really REALLY dull break up. The pair have been ‘dating’ (using each other as an excuse to go out and experience normal teenage stuff) since they were 15. Now at 17 soon to be 18 the pair decided to publicly break up in order to pursue other people and interests. The problem is they never told their parents the truth so both Gabriel and Kagami’s mother Tomeo feel protective and concerned about what must surely be an upsetting first heartbreak for their child. And okay maybe both parents take that out on each other and both get a bit defensive and protective. And MAYBE it ends with Tomeo vowing to get revenge for her daughter. Enter, Marinette. Up and coming fashion designer for the rich and famous! She’s single, talented, and as far as Tomeo knows Gabriel is interested in the girl for her talent. So what better revenge could exist but having Marinette take an interest in Kagami!

Kagami has no idea why her mother suddenly has an interest in Marinette but she wont complain about having more time with her very cute designer friend. And all the outfits Tomeo is paying Marinette to make for Kagami is giving the young fencer plenty of up-close and personal moments with Marinette. And okay Marinette is VERY cute and Kagami wont question why she suddenly has all this tine with Marinette, eating ice cream with the girl and having brunch. But she knows shes absolutely head over heels when Marinette shows up at her fencing tournament gives her a luck charm and cheers her on wearing HER colors. Obviously Kagami wiped the floor with all the competition she cant be seen hesitating in front of Marinette!

On Tomeo’s side of things she makes sure that the paparazzi still lurking around after Kagami and Adrien’s breakup catch photos of what could easily be interpreted as dates between the girls. After all this is a revenge ploy but also Marinette is fantastic so Tomeo is 300% down with Kagami ‘bringing her into the family’ something she tells Kagami after the first paparazzi ‘date photos’ leak into the news. Kagami still has no idea this was an orchestrated affair and just thinks her mothers caught on to her feelings and is overjoyed that Marinette is approved of because after the cheek kiss Marinette gave her for winning the fencing tournament Kagami was preparing to fight her mother for the right to pursue the young designer seriously. After all she never hesitates! 

But Tomeo never realized Gabriel isnt the only one interested in Marinette. Audrey Bourgeouis has been keeping an eye on Marinette trying to find a way to get Marinette on to her side and away from Gabriel. So when she sees the photos of Kagami and Marinette she sees an opportunity. After all if Marinette isnt exclusively into men (and those photos of her flushed cheeks as Kagami cleans ice cream off her bottom lip are a clear indication shes not) then Audrey smells opportunity. After all Marinette was Chloe’s first crush! How cute would that be! The next day Marinette is being offered yet another opportunity to intern under Audrey this time with much looser restrictions. When Marinette accepts she suddenly finds herself working with Chloe… A LOT. The pair are modeling together, often paired together for shoots in perfect complementary clothes that screams ‘opposites attract’. Chloe is also helping manage Marinette’s brand and the two start to get along very well. The model photos and their business lunches are soon plastered alongside the Kagami and Marinette outings with parisian gossip blogs finding their interest picked by this potential love triangle.

Chloe for one, was confused at first. Sure she knew her mom was interested in Marinette but she never thought SHE would be working so closely with her first crush. And Chloe tries to ignore it, after all those are dead feelings! And Marinette woud never forgive her anyway so why even- Wait. Is that Marinette in a downright gorgeous golden dress? A-and she will be posing right next to Chloe for their shared shoot? Well… Chloe always thought herself deserving of royalty and damn if Marinette aint the princess of her dreams. Sorry Adriken’s you had your chance to get the girl, but now its winner keeps all and Marinette is the only prize shes interested in. For the record Alya is freaked out by Chloe being nice, but shes more weirded out by Chloe being protective and handsy and downright shamelessly flirty with Marinette. Audrey is pleased when she hears the news and is quick to give her daughter encouragement acting as if none of this was premeditated at ALL.

Oh but they have no idea that this is just the beginning. Because guess who's moved back into town. Adrien’s favorite cousin and aunty. And Felix’s mom is quite the busybody and dammit Felix needs friends! And maybe a cute girlfriend! And oh whos that pretty girl on the magazine cover? Marinette? The one her celebrity connections have nothing but praise for? Perfect! Shes invited to lunch with Felix and herself on friday to discuss movie costumes! And oh Audrey dear dont you think Marinette would look fabulous sandwiched between TWO blondes! Felix hasnt modeled in a while but come now. So suddenly Marinette is being spotted with Felix guiding him about paris and modeling with him AND Chloe under AUDREY’s brand NOT Gabriels.

Felix thought hed really hate Marinette; he tried to ignore her he really did. But shes funny, witty and sweet. Not to mention trustworthy, so a good candidate for a business partner. And thats it, but then he has to admit hes impressed when he rolls up to a photoshoot and Chloe! The definition of brat personified is acting… Bearable. Yes, somehow Marinette has done the impossible! She has tamed the beast known as Chloe. And yes fine he will admit shes drop dead gorgeous and how intelligent of her to learn all sides of the fashion industry and boost her rep with modelling! Soon hes spending more time with her, he tries to argue he needs a guide, that shes the most bearable person to be with! That she is just a friend- Oh god. No it cant be! He sounds like-! Like ADRIEN! And Chloe already told him about THAT mess! No! Absolutely not! He will not lead on Marinette like his idiot cousin! Marinette is a rare and beautiful woman! She could be his queen! And god he has to admit it much as he loathes too Marinette’s smile is enough to make him thank every non-existent god. He will win her heart, show her that she deserves better than his brain dead cousin! Felix is sure mother will approve of his decision to pursue the girl, now he just needs to do more shoots with Marinette...

And that's what finally gets Gabriel to snap. Because REALLY Felix!? Is there no loyalty to FAMILY. Not to mention he was totally drafting a potential contract for Marinette when Audrey snapped her up the witch! But its fine! Marinette has always been interested in Adrien! Surely she still is? Surely she's not been swayed by any of her new suitors! Right? Gabriel knows he can't mess with Audrey’s contract so he goes through Adrien, freeing up his sons schedule and telling him to spend time with Marinette to help her ‘adapt’ to the harsh world of fashion and modeling. He uses Adrien’s heroic nature to make it sound like hed be saving her from Chloe and Felix. And sure enough Adrien bites, using his friendship with Chloe to worm into fittings, meetings, and photo shoots. At first hes just there to make sure Chloe and Felix arent hurting sweet Marinette. But when he sees the blondes fighting for her attention, flirting with her, posing with her in some rather romantic settings. Suddenly hes less worried and more… Jealous? No! Not him! Hes concerned, confused, suspicious! Obviously he needs to spend more time with Mari- Wait! When did Kagami get here to take Marinette to lunch! And why are they all ignoring him!!!

Now Marinette is fully in the public's eye. Gossip blogs are being fed bits of info writing up each ‘candidates’ appeal as THE romantic partner to the Marinette Dupain-Cheng paris new darling, the girl with a heart of gold too oblivious to see the trail of hearts following her around! But there is still another contender yet to enter the game! Jaggeds been away on tour teaching Luka his up and coming protege all the tricks. And lets not lie Luka has his own fans now, enough to rival all the others. Jagged sees Luka as his own son, even calling him as much! Hell hes even adopted Luka and Juleka and when I say adopted I mean Jagged literally got shared custody of the kids when their real dad tried to start trouble once Luka started gaining fame. Luka and Juleka for one love their adopted father and his wonderful fiance Penny. But back to Jagged, being Jagged. 

The moment Jagged is back in Paris he's checking up on his favorite designer and hopefully future daughter in law! When… WHAT'S THIS?! All the other ritchies in Paris are playing his game! Trying to get Marinette married into THEIR families! Not rock and roll at all! He was here first! And so being Jagged he decides to make Luka’s stake in the race for Marinette’s heart clear! By spamming social media with photos of Marinette being cute with Luka, taking his measurements, going out with him, the pair babying Fang, the two passed out against each other after a long concert. And he has photos going back at least a year or two! Soon Luka’s fans pick up the hype starting a trending hashtag finding the pair cute! Jagged feels confident that hes won! When Audrey retaliates, and from there its a complete train wreck. Before long each pair has a hashtag filled with cute moments and arguing over whos dating the model / fashion designer! 

Meanwhile Adrien is drowning in denial as he goes through each hashtag seething about how many MORE photos everyone else has with Marinette, when HE is her very good friend and was here first! Felix, Chloe and Kagami on the other hand have declared open war after they tried to talk to each other about the hashtags reasonably only for it to devolve into “so you agree Marinette is best with me!” - “WHAT! No! Thats not what I said! Besides she clearly is best with me!” - “Ridiculous!” And so on. Poor Luka is having an entirely different reaction hiding in shame unsure how to face Marinette because he WAS going to ask her on a proper date now that she seems over Adrien, because even with everything she's the melody playing in his heart and he had a plan! But now his mom and sister are texting him and teasing him and apparently he has MORE competition! Who do these people think they are to deserve Marinette! No! Luka won't lose Jagged has been teaching him to be bold and confident! And Marinette is worth all of his efforts! Jagged REGRETS NOTHING even if Penny confiscated the tv remote!

Marinette meanwhile has no idea what's going on because the whole class made a dumb bet on when the designer would notice with one of the bet conditions being that no one could tip Marinette off and that they have to keep her away from Paparazzi so they dont spoil it either. And sense Alya is helping manage Marinette’s social media Marinette hasn't looked at it yet so she has NO idea what's happening. But her birthday is coming up next week and Chloe definitely didn't get dibs on planning a surprise party for her all so she could spoil the girl and RUB her GREAT relationship with Marinette into her competitions FACES! The competition however (and Adrien JustAfriend Agreste) have decided that they really aren't going down without a fight!

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[ultraericthered]

Y'know, I really do believe that Nomura's association with Tomoko Kanemaki and his exposure to fans of the Kanemaki mindset really was a big and poor influence on how he chose to approach the story and concepts introduced in KH2 going on into the post-KH2 titles. And KH3 is the natural end result of it: almost everything that got accomplished in the story of KH2 came undone so that KH3 could happen and do all the "fixes" to those pesky KH2 consequences. And so KH2 goes from Grand Finale to Grand Filler Episode of the saga.

KH2 - Sora, Kairi, and Riku are reunited and return to Destiny Islands.

KH3 - Sora, Kairi, and Riku spend most of the game away from Destiny Islands and apart from each other.

KH2 - King Mickey returns home to Disney Castle.

KH3 - King Mickey has left Disney Castle once again, ends up in the Realm of Darkness once again, and has to return home to the castle once again by the ending.

KH2 - Organization XIII was destroyed.

KH3 - Somehow Organization XIII returned.

KH2 - Terra-Xehanort is fully, completely dead.

KH3 - Terra-Xehanort is back alive thrice over.

KH2 - Maleficent and Pete acquire an evil castle and regain power over the Heartless as the completion of their arc in the story.

KH3 - Maleficent and Pete have no castle, no Heartless, and no purpose in the story; just wandering aimlessly looking for a box.

KH2 - Sora opened up the Door to Light and became a strong, full-fledged Keyblade Master.

KH3 - Sora fell into darkness and lost the right to be considered a true Keyblade Master.

KH2 - Riku ceased to belong to the Dark Realm, has his own special "twilit" power set, and is humbled even with his own Keyblade.

KH3 - Riku still uses the powers of Darkness without consequence and is the super special awesome badass true Keyblade Master.

KH2 - Kairi recieved a Keyblade of her own, got her good luck charm back, and vowed that she and Sora would remain together, as wherever Sora and Riku went, she'd go with them this time and take her own share of pain in fights against evil.

KH3 - Kairi can't use that Keyblade for real fights just yet until she's had special training with it, has given her good luck charm back to Sora, does not accompany Sora and Riku where they go, and proves to be an inept liability when it comes time to fight against evil.

KH2 - Roxas and Namine join with the hearts of their original selves, becoming completed existences who can happily and peacefully co-exist with those original selves and see each other every day.

KH3 - LOL JK, Roxas and Namine committed existential suicide by joining with Sora and Kairi's hearts, but don't worry, it gets reversed so they can physically exist as their own people for realz this time.

KH2 - Axel, finally acting selflessly, gave up his life to right one of his wrongs and help Sora/Roxas even if it meant he couldn't reunite with his best friend in anything but spirit.

KH3 - Axel is alive, acts selfish as ever and gets rewarded with a Keyblade for it, and is reunited with his best friends without having to sacrifice a single thing, not even his Keyblade!

KH2 - Ansem the Wise gives up his shot at returning to his home world by sacrificing his life to stop Xemnas and make amends to the lives of the people he'd hurt in his selfish quest for revenge.

KH3 - Ansem the Wise is still alive and gets to return to his home world after all, continuing to atone in easy, superficial ways from the comfort of his castle.

KH2 - Nobodies, Nothingness, and the In-Between World all matter.

KH3 - Nobodies, Nothingness, and the In-Between World do not matter.

KH2 - Who's Xion? She does not exist.

KH3 - Xion exists, y'all! Everyone knows and remembers that!

KH2 - Not everyone survived the adventure and got a happy ending, but our most prominent characters are all okay, happy, and at home.

KH3 - Everyone (save Vanitas, Xehanort, Eraqus, and the Riku Replica) survived this adventure and everyone gets a happy ending EXCEPT for Sora, who vanishes into thin air!

No shitting, in terms of what was accomplished by one story's events versus how it's continued in the next story, going from Kingdom Hearts II to Kingdom Hearts III literally plays like going from Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan to Star Trek III: The Search For Spock!

ST3 and KH3 both had the same guy as the villain, too!

I hate Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance. Everything about it.

However - there is one scene in particular that I absolutely despise above all others. Don't get me wrong, every other cutscene is bad, many of them even rage-inducing....but none of them quite measure up to this one in its wretchedness. Which one is it, you ask? THIS one.

So after Xigbar reiterates the bullshit Inception-esque "dream within a dream" plot twist that Sora is currently experiencing all because he happens to have an "X" on his clothes (yes, that is an actual thing that Nomura wrote), Sora just randomly declares that Nobodies have hearts after all. What does his base this on? The memories from 358/2 Days that he experienced.

"Axel and Roxas and Namine, and that other girl. I felt what Roxas felt and they laughed together, got mad, and they grieved. You have to have a heart to cry."

First off, "that other girl" shouldn't be here. In 358/2 Days, Namine specifically said "If you return your memories to him, you'll disappear. And since everything about you was built on those memories...no one will remember you when you're gone. There won't be any "you" to remember. I can't save you, Xion--even a memory of you." But this game, just like Coded before it and KH3 after it, is flagrantly ignoring that because the rabid fanbase that Days / Xion / the Seasalt Trio developed, particularly in Japan, demanded Xion back and because he's a clout-chasing coward Nomura complied, the story's internal logic be damned.

Secondly, all of the characters Sora mentioned are special cases. Roxas and Namine were special Nobodies built upon a literal heart-to-heart relationship (Sora and Kairi), allowing them to feel things at the cost of having no memory, when for normal Nobodies it's the other way around. Xion was not a Nobody, she was a replica with a heart constructed from memories. Of course she felt stuff. Lastly, this game continues to ignore that Axel's feelings were...off. Making a connection with a heart allowed him to start feeling things, but his Nobody nature was still technically heartless and self-centered, which meant that his feelings were purely based on himself and what his friends mean to him. He never cared about them the way someone is actually supposed to, as that depth of feeling was still foreign to him.

And finally, this seems to be in direct response to that stupid Tomoko Kanemaki-made scene from KH2:FM of Roxas talking with Axel's ghost and they wax poetic about what a heart is and what it means to have one, ending in a shot where Axel is seen shedding tears ("You have to have a heart to cry"). But even that scene, as bad as it was, was still written with Nojima's KH2 scenario in mind where the answer is a philosophical difference between a literal heart, which Nobodies can't have, and a metaphorical heart, which they can develop through bonding with someone with a heart and find a way to exist (as evidenced by Axel even having a ghost at all) within that someone's heart. But now, we get this from Xemnas:

"A heart is never lost for good. There may have been variances in our dispositions, but a number of us unquestionably showed signs of a burgeoning replacement. Once born, the heart can also be nurtured. Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind, and convince it to renounce its sense of self. But understand, one can banish the heart from the body, but the body will try to replace it the first chance it gets, for as many times as it takes. And so I knew, even after we were divided into Heartless and Nobodies, it was just a temporary separation."

Where do I even begin?

"A number of us unquestionably showed signs of a burgeoning replacement"? Is this Nomura's way to "explain" why the Organization reacted emotionally on many occasions? Except that was already explained in KH2! As Yen Sid said, their behavior is a ruse to pretend that they have hearts and properly exist, and as Saix said, it's their memories of their human selves and the feelings they felt with hearts that allow them to do this. We literally SEE Demyx drop the facade and show his true unemotional colors right before fighting him!

"One can banish the heart from the body, but the body will try to replace it the first chance it gets". Um, HOW? The body shouldn't be able to recreate a heart because in this universe the body never created the heart to begin with! The literal title of the series, Kingdom Hearts, is where all hearts are born and where all hearts return to. We established that in Game 1!

There was talk earlier about puppets like Pinocchio "growing" a heart, but that's not even the case. As seen earlier in KH2's Space Paranoids and later in KH3's Toy Box, it's not that the non-living thing "grows" a heart, it's that Kingdom Hearts grants them a heart specifically based upon the feelings someone with a heart has toward them. Gepetto, Ansem the Wise, Andy, etc. The hearts didn't just come out of nowhere from nothing like this game suggests.

For that matter, the heart is established as holding the essence of a person; it's who they are. The whole reason Nobodies "don't exist" is because while they have the body and soul of a person plus the memories of said person, without a heart they are not actually that person, who is actually now a Heartless. So is Xemnas saying the body can grow a new freaking person? Then what will become of the original person once they're purified from being a Heartless? The same bullshit of "recompleting" that Lea and co. underwent? But doesn't that contradict the notion that Nobodies are their own individuals who supposedly deserve to live as such? Also, why does all of this only apply to the Organization? What about all of the lesser Nobodies, like the Dusks? Can they not also "regrow" their hearts? Did Nomura think any of this out at all before committing it to script form? And at this point, Sora yells out:

"Why, then? Why did you lie to them and tell them they had no hearts?"

Yep, that's right. Even though Yen Sid also said they had no hearts, Ansem the Wise's research turned up that they had no hearts, and they themselves largely behaved as though they had no hearts, apparently it was all just a lie Xemnas concocted, stripping away half the depth that he and the Organization in general had. Xemnas is now depicted as just a simplistic bad guy and the others save for Xigbar as total victims of brainwashing. Hilariously, the narrative tap-dances around how, if this is true, then Sora and the other heroes now look way more questionable for killing them. The bullshit train keeps chugging as Xigbar says:

"Xemnas and Xehanort formed the Organization for a specific reason - round up a bunch of empty husks, hook them up to Kingdom Hearts, then fill them all with the exact same heart and mind. Translation--they were gonna turn all the members into Xehanort."

So now the claim is that Xemnas, who totally had Xehanort's heart inside him even when Ansem existing should render that impossible, was gonna use the power of Kingdom Hearts to copy-paste that heart into the other Organization members as part of Xehanort's plan to forge the X-Blade. Just like with the claim that Ansem's goal was the Seven Princesses rather than the Final Keyhole they unseal, this clashes with what we actually saw in the previous games. Why would Xemnas do anything he did if this was the plan? The event that got him his thirteenth "vessel" also set the Seven Princesses loose, then several of those "vessels" perished, and yet he carried on with the plan anyway? KH3 tries to do damage control by suggesting Xemnas was out to betray Xehanort, but that just creates more issues with this abominable retcon trying to force separate villainous plans as part of some convoluted whole.

Xigbar then follows all this up with:

"Me? I'm already half Xehanort!"

.....Moving on. Xemnas proceeds to give us this absolute howler:

"However -through weakness of body...weakness of will...or weakness of trust--most of the original members we had chosen for the Organization were inadequate. Thus, naturally, they never had a chance to attain their goal."

MOST of the original Organization members were inadequate!?

Um, yeah, let's flash forward to KH3 and see who made the cut:

Xemnas Xigbar Vexen Saix Demyx Luxord Marluxia Larxene Xion (as a replacement for Roxas)

So basically, 9 out of 13. Only 4 (Xaldin, Lexaeus, Zexion and Axel) "failed".

.....Xemnas, I don't think that the word "most" means what you think it means.

Then we get to the big, dramatic confrontation as Sora yells:

"Just stop it! You treat people's hearts like bottles on a shelf, but they're not! Hearts are made of the people we meet, and how we feel about them-- they're what ties us together even when we're apart! They're what...make me strong."

This is a good line, but Xigbar proceeds to ruin it with his comeback:

"Duh! You're strong because of the ties you have with other people. As if the Keyblade would choose a wimp like you. But no pouting. We see much bigger and better things in your future...once you side with us."

To which Sora replies:

"I know the Keyblade didn't choose me, and I don't care. I'm proud to be a small part of something bigger--the people it did choose! My friends. They are my power!

Beyond this callback to a famous line in the original game feeling cheap, Nomura doesn't even seem to actually remember the scene in which the line was used! Because the Keyblade DID choose Sora in that scene, precisely because of how he bonded his heart with others and took strength from them. In fact, he may be the ONLY person the Keyblade has "chosen" in this series - the allegedly worthier "other people" who appear in the above image have either had their Keyblade bequeathed to them by a prior wielder, transformed another weapon into a Keyblade, or wield a Keyblade specifically because Sora can wield it. (Also, why are Terra, Aqua, Ven and Xion even there? Calling them Sora's "friends" is a huge stretch, especially when people like Namine and HPO who fit the bill better aren't present! And if them not having Keyblades is the excuse given, I must point out that Donald and Goofy are also here! So are they part of "the people it did choose"!? Where is the consistency!?)

This combined with Xehanort's later "dull, ordinary boy" remark reeks of Nomura being touchy about criticism BBS got for making Sora out to be more special than he was supposed to be which led to him overcorrecting here....which doesn't even stick given Data!Ansem the Wise's later monologue about Sora and the events of KH3. Just terrible, contradictory writing.

I hate Dream Drop Distance. I hate the convoluted dream mechanics, I hate Yen Sid's whole Mark of Mastery test and the stupidity and hypocrisy he displays as it unfolds, I hate the literal TWEWY cast being present, I hate the Lea subplot, I hate Maleficent and Pete doing nothing, I hate the shafting of Kairi, I hate the Sora/Riku queer-baiting, I hate young Xehanort, and I hate all of the screwy, time travel-based retconning and twist reveals in the last act that essentially destroyed the whole series. But this fucking scene in particular, I hate above all.

[itsthemysterykids]

The Mystery Kids switch cliques!

Coraline- Geek

Locker full of comics

Prefers to go by Cora

Tells people she’s a water bender

Always going to ComicCon

Cosplays whenever she can

“I’m not a nerd, I’m a geek! Learn the difference!”

Marvel and DC shirts

On good terms with Mabel, Neil, and Raz, seeing as they’re the ‘Loner Squad’

HATES BeBe ever since he trashed her fingerless gloves on a school morning announcement segment

Stan Lee and Chadwick Boseman shrine in her bedroom. Mourns them every Saturday morning

Dyed Mabel’s hair and paints Raz’s nails whenever he asks

Wybie- Prep

Goes by BeBe. No one knows his real name

Sarcastic

Mean, but he has a heart… It’s somewhere

Head anchor on the school’s morning announcements and has a segment where he roasts students’ fashion choices

Selfie. King.

Best friends with Lili

2 cool 4 u

Slaying in heels

Fashion icon

Desperately wants to give Mabel a makeover

Only knows Cora because her parents are renting one of his grandma’s apartments

Norman- Jock

Norman Babcock, captain of three teams. His mom is LOADED. She’s a divorce lawyer

Captain of the football, basketball, and baseball team

LOUD

Himbo

Willing to take on any dare

Count on him to bring the whole school to a party when you only invited like a few dozen

Carries Lili and BeBe on his shoulders during game days to build up his strength

Makes sure to give BeBe his letterman jacket during football games since he gets cold the easiest

Doesn’t seem like it, but he’s the mom friend of the popular kids

Neil- Nerd

Always gets Straight A’s

Hates tutoring since he lacks the patience

Has had his lunch try smacked away by Norman countless times

On good terms with Mabel since they’re always paired up for writing assignments

May or may not be coming up with revenge plots to use against the popular kids

Will give you the answers to a test… Only to snitch on you later

Has all his school textbooks on his tablet

Not sure how he got swept up in his friend group, but isn’t complaining

Carries a thermos full of coffee

Dipper- Skater

Goes by D-Fresh

90s kid at heart

One of the Popular Kids

Pretty good at rapping

Has a YouTube channel where he just posts his best moment on the halfpipe

Skates through the school halls

No one knows Mabel is his sister and he doesn’t bother bringing it up

One of the very few people allowed to take a selfie with BeBe and Lili

Always creating new slang everyone starts using

Mabel- Emo

Prefers to hang back while her brother soaks up the attention

Always seen in black or dark red

Reluctantly hangs out with Coraline because of Raz, but grows to like her when she walked into school wearing a Corpse Bride shirt

Liberated the live frogs that were going to be dissected

Feels a pang in her heart whenever Dipper ignores her at school

Neil is her life preserver in this hell hole they call school

Secretly wants to set Lili and BeBe on fire

Loves Monster x Human romance novels and wishes one would wisk her away

Secretly wishes she had Carrie’s powers

Raz- Goth

“I’m not a damn Emo! Mabel is!”

Became friends with Coraline when she helped fix his nail polish and sort of brought her into his group

Pretty good friends with Mabel despite their rival cliques

Owns a few spell books

Anarchist

Had a crush on Lili… What was he thinking?

Likes to crash the popular kids parties and play a bunch of death metal over the speakers

Helped Coraline throw an ‘Uncool Party’ for the social rejects at school

May or not be staging a revolution against the popular kids

Secret love for theater

Reads Stephen King novels with Mabel

Lili- Cheerleader

Captain of the squad

BSFFs (Best Shopping Friends Forever) with BeBe

Girl definitely owns a pony

Has that ‘Perfect Princess’ vibe going on

Runs the yearbook

Has over 10K followers

Everyone would kill for her to sign their yearbooks

Has every guy pining after her

Has spots in the yearbook reserved for her friends

Makes sure to tussle Norman’s hair for good luck before every game

“As your school president, I vow to get rid of exams, cafeteria food, nerds in ugly clothing.”

[skyprowler]

If I had any talent (or patience) I would like to write a Silmarillion AU where Fëanor  does also end up stealing a boat but with the little difference that:

a. he is still a very teenage Fëanor  and

b. it is just one boat - which he has no idea how to steer

In a fit of rage he decides to run away, since no one wants him anyway, everyone prefers his brother, and a boat seems a good option because what have the so called blessed lands of the blessed Valar ever done for him! I mean, which child or teenager has never seriously considered running away? He would have probably reneged on his attempt (as most of us do) but by the time he was clear headed enough, he was already on a boat he had only theoretical knowledge of how to navigate with a brewing storm and a rapidly vanishing shoreline at his back - even if he would never acknowledge it publicly he knew at that point that he had fucked up. The only positive (maybe?) thing about the whole situation being that his fellow apprentice and daughter of his master Nerdanel ended up in said boat with him - trying to stop him of course. If it had been anyone else Fëanor  would have been quick to blame them for “distracting him with their arguing” and therefore being responsible for the boat coming off course but Nerdanel was the only person next to Mathan himself he would not dare to accuse of this. By some luck or divine providence (or divine spite? or Ulmo just not noticing?) they end up being washed all the way back to Middle Earth where they meet distant kin, new challenges, adventures and tragedies.  

Finwë is inconsolable of course and searches far and wide but he just cannot find his firstborn. Even the Valar do not give him a clear answer to where his son might be found (they themselves are frantic because their sight of Middle Earth is shadowed at this point in time, no one wants to tell Finwë that this, according to Ulmo, is most likely where his missing progeny ended up, and Mandos is frothing at the mouth and not responsive due to destiny currently being a mess of constantly rearranging parts in his brain).

While Fëanor ’s half-siblings do share in their father’s grief they are understandably not as destroyed by this event as their father. As time passes wounds both on this and the other side of the sea start to mend because they are not currently being kept open by proximity. And encountering other elves who know the grief of the death of a parent and seeing how they handle it even the haughty eldest son of  Finwë starts to both understand his own feelings and why his stance towards his father’s decision and siblings’ existence might have to be reconsidered (slightly! At most!), if only that he himself might find peace (his firstborn will still be  Nelyafinwë, reconsidering spite should never go too far). In the depths of my brain, where it will most likely stay, this tale would further include: survival and bickering in Middle Earth, a great deal of inventions (some the same as in the Silmarillion, some new due to circumstance),  Fëanor and Nerdanel slowly falling in love and deciding that being king or queen is vastly overrated, somehow still ending up with their own realm (probably the equivalent of a very very large and well defended university with more holdings) and Fëanor  gets to meet dwarves. More random would be our dearest pyromaniac being astonished how people DARE to call him an arrogant prick! Nerdanel delighting in her friend finally being utterly bad at something (he never ever learns to steer a ship) and Melian wondering if this was actually revenge for not telling her brethren where she went for a few hundred years. Finally, after Melkor’s release he spreads rumours that it was Indis’ faction who got rid of the crown prince and as a results her children vow to find their brother and proof him wrong. This starts a whole new set of issues (which thankfully include grudgingly lent but not stolen ships) but at the end stands a surprisingly successful family reunion. However, Fëanor and his family  refuse to return to Valinor thereby cementing the Noldorin presence in Middle Earth. (”The only happiness I ever found in Valinor, father, was your love and joy, my wife and my craft. My wife and craft have come with me to these shores and much more happiness then I had ever hoped for has sprung from the lands that others had proclaimed unworthy. Long ago I could not understand your decision to remarry, but now, after all this time I find my views much changed. As you once chose happiness, partnership and a future that seemed worth living, knowing that it would hurt one you love yet not diminishing that love, I, too, have now come to make the same decision. And as I now know and understand your choice, I hope you too will understand the decision I made to not return to Valinor, even though I love you and do not want to cause you grief” - yo, or something along those lines. I have no idea.). Would I ever get to it, it would be very very self-indulgent, with a happy (or at least bitter-sweet) ending for everyone and Beleriand not vanishing under tons of water. But, yeah. I have no patience or talent. So, this is probably all I will ever write down regarding this matter.

[songandashadow]

august fic rec

so this list is a whole mess because I haven’t made one in so long and in the time since I last did, I discovered a whole bunch of new fics and authors that I can’t even begin to put in one rec. Instead here’s a small part of the massive amount of fics I read recently. Please give these authors kudos, comment and enjoy. :)

❀ This Could Be Something by 28sunflowers |  6k words

After a hookup gone wrong, Harry keeps getting sick at random times without reason. That is, until Louis shows up at his door with a wild explanation.

Sometimes, "happily ever after"s come in the strangest forms.

❀ (Take Me Home) Country Roads by Awriterwrites | 86k words

a Northern Exposure AU featuring Louis as the big city doctor, Harry as a natural healer, Niall as a secretive barkeep, Liam and Zayn head over heels for each other but they don't know it and a lot of hurt, comfort and moonshine in between.

❀ Love You a Latte by 1Diamondinthesun | 15k words

Louis Tomlinson doesn’t drink coffee and definitely doesn’t go to Starbucks. Enter barista Harry Styles. Add a double shot of espresso, stir in 90s references to taste, and top with whipped cream and love.

Or, the coffee shop AU featuring girl direction, creative espresso, and a professor and a barista falling in love in one beautiful autumn.

❀ Please Be Naked by Only_angel_28 | 17k words

Louis starts squirming, desperately needing something to do with his hands. Needing to do anything, really, to distract him from the perfect male specimen standing naked in front of him. In the end, the only thing he can do is strip out of his own jeans and briefs, which he does with trembling, clumsy fingers, his heart beating out a violent, chaotic rhythm in his chest the entire time.

He hears Harry’s sharp intake of breath, and slowly raises his eyes from where he was staring at his own bare feet to meet his gaze.

“So,” Harry says bashfully, his voice gone even deeper somehow. “We’re naked.”

“Yup,” Louis squeaks.

“You okay?”

No!

“Yup,” Louis repeats, sounding just as unstable as he did the first time.

This is the last favor Louis Tomlinson is ever doing for Zayn Malik. (Because, after today, he’ll be dead, but that’s neither here nor there.)

❀ The Sleeping Giant by LadyLondonderry | 3k words

In the centre of the pond, there is a sleeping giant.

He rises out of the water, eyes closed and face at peace, sitting as if in a trance. Moss grows up his back, tangles in his hair. He is at peace here, or perhaps he is peace. Perhaps he is what keeps the pond and the clearing so quiet and serene, blessing the forest with his presence.

❀ I Heard You Talking by lululawrence | 10k words

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

❀ The Lonely Planet Guide to Second Chances by 1Diamondinthesun | 102k words

When Harry and Louis broke up, the last thing on Harry's mind was the non-refundable surprise trip he had booked for them across Europe. Harry was supposed to be moving on, not sightseeing with his ex. In hindsight, touring the continent with Louis was probably a bad idea. So naturally, that's exactly what Harry did.

Or, the breakup travel fic featuring romantic sunsets, awkward bed sharing, and second chances against a backdrop of some of Europe's most iconic cities.

❀ got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove | 124k words

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn't have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he's rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he's forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who's spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)

❀ bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 | 2k words

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

❀ Take Your Time by Layne Faire (HisDarlin) | 11k words

When Harry finds himself in the middle of a messy break-up with no place to live, Louis offers a spare room in his flat. Unbeknownst to Harry, Louis has been infatuated for years. Over the objections of their friends, who know the truth, Harry accepts. Can Louis survive Harry moving into his home…and closer to his heart? Will Harry see what's right in front of him?

❀ I'm Tripping Over Your Every Single Move by lookingfortherainbow | 5k words

“I could pretend to drown,” Harry gasped, looking like he was in awe of his own genius. “Oh my god, what a story to tell our kids. He’d be my reason for almost dying, my reason for staying alive. By the way, have you been working out more lately?”

Liam stared in utter disbelief at his friend’s wild imagination, vaguely noting that Harry was now petting at his bicep in a daze, no longer holding it in a death grip. Sometimes, he wondered why Harry wasn’t at least minoring in theatre.

“Harry, babe. You’re here on a scholarship. For swimming. You’ve literally won multiple events in this very pool. Because you’re so good at swimming. You come here almost everyday to train, which I don’t think has escaped any of the lifeguards who work here. I don’t think that’s as good a plan as you think it is,” Liam said, eyebrows turned up with concern.

Or, Harry is the local swimming star athlete and Louis is the lifeguard that turns Harry into a fish out of water.

❀ the pinker, the bluer by docklands | 1k words

Harry comes out as a trans guy during the pandemic. Working from home and away from everyone, he finds liberty to explore his self-identity. One night, however, he decides to go out.

❀ Lovin' It Up by letsjustsee | 6k words

What did Niall know? This had nothing to do with the few times (okay, countless times) Louis had pined over the idea of Hot Neighbor while drinking. Nothing at all. So what if he had perfect lips and long legs and the cutest little curls around his ears? Certainly not Louis.

He continued to scribble away, most of his words indiscernible except for one written in large letters at the very top of the napkin: REVENGE

Or, a neighbors AU in which Louis vows to get revenge on the guy who didn't hold the elevator for him - no matter how ridiculously attractive he may be.

❀ My Strange Addiction by phdmama | I'm Hot for Teacher verse

The guy at the other end of the bar has been checking Harry out all night.

❀ take the time for you by pixies | 1k words

Dating hasn’t really been very easy for him, lately, not ever since he moved to London earlier in the year for his job. He’d had terrible luck with online dating and was too dedicated to his current projects at work to make time to go out to the bars or to try to socialize more than once every few weeks.

aka, Harry ends up at speed-dating to get his friend off his back and has a better night than expected.

[ellenripleysbelieveitornot]

What about an Akechi/Joker role swap AU where Akechi is still the detective prince and Joker is still the Shujin delinquent, but the major difference is that Morgana never lost his memories and found Akechi before he approached Shido with his metaverse assassination plot?

Like, imagine Akechi, bitter and jaded, who has just awakened Loki and felt the terrifying and thrilling rush of the berserk power. He's formed a plan to get back at his piece of shit father, even managed to set up a meeting, which he had to set up months in advance, and on the day he's going to present Shido with info on the metaverse, he winds up arriving a few minutes late, because even though he intended to be early, he was accosted by a talking cat (he's been in the metaverse, so he can hear him) on the way over, and in the whole wtf-ery of the moment, lost track of time. Shido, being Shido, refuses to see him and will not reschedule because he doesn't like having his time wasted.

Pissed off, Akechi leaves to find Morgana still waiting for him outside. So he doesn't look like an idiot yelling at a cat on the street, he brings Morgana back to his shitty apartment, where Morgana explains why he had found Akechi and whats up. He doesn't know about Yaldobaoth taking Igor's place, he just knows there's two champions, and Akechi was the one he found first, so he must be Igor's chosen champion. (It is my theory that it doesn't actually matter who was Igor's and Yaldobaoth's champions, it was more about the choices they each made and where they ended up.) 

Akechi has no interest in saving the world, but he knows that if he wants to get back at Shido, he needs to become someone of consequence, so he agrees to undergo Morgana's training, since Morgana clearly knows more about the metaverse than he does, and he can use it to solve cold cases, earning him a place as the Detective Prince. He changes a few hearts, to pacify Morgana, too. It takes a couple years, but during his senior year in high school, he makes it, earning himself the cooperation of the police and the spotlight of the public eye. He's getting so close to making Shido notice him that he can practically taste it. Also, what’s this ‘velvet room’ he keeps dreaming about?

Then Morgana finds Kamoshida’s palace and is like ‘heyo, you thought changing hearts in the metaverse was cool, check this shit out’ and Akechi is admittedly intrigued , so he takes a look. He sees the inside of Kamoshida’s heart and is appropriately disgusted and says to Morgana, ‘hey we should totally kill this guy’s shadow.’ Morgana’s like ‘why is your first suggestion always murder, we don’t know what would happen if we killed his shadow, Igor wasn’t very clear about that bit, we should try stealing the treasure instead’ and Morgana has been useful (and it’s been really nice to have the company these past two years, though he won’t admit that) so Akechi agrees ‘fine, we’ll steal the treasure, but if that doesn’t work, then I’m killing his shadow.’

And that’s when Ryuji and Ann make an appearance (’ohmigawd, goro, be more careful with that damn app, i s2g.’) Ryuji’s mom apparently thinks Akechi is pretty neat and watches all his interviews, so Ryuji knows who he is and is delighted to find out that the lame-ass detective his mom has talked about is actually a grumpy badass in the metaverse, with this shadow that has some kind of insane power, and hey, he helped them bring down Kamoshida (alive,) so maybe he is actually pretty cool, even though sometimes he spaces out and talks about evil twins and some longed-nose dude. He decides then and there that he’s going to be Akechi’s best friend, since he apparently has none, and Ann is all too happy to join in for the ride, and all of Goro’s protests have fallen on deaf ears, and they know about the whole detective prince thing being a facade, so he might as well indulge them for now. 

The ‘Phantom Thieves’ (a name that makes Goro want to roll his eyes whenever he hears it, and why is everyone calling him ‘leader?’) gain fame and change hearts, gaining new members such as this weird-ass artist dude who fights with ice, and oh, god, one Nijima is bad enough, don’t tell me there’s two! and she uses nukes, wtf?!

Around this time, he also meets Shujin’s delinquent, enigmatic transfer student whose talk of hope and justice never quite seem to reflect in his stormy grey eyes, and he and Goro are clearly birds of a feather in a way, he can tell, there’s just something about him, and he thinks this guy might actually be his best friend, but don’t tell Ryuji that, he’d never hear the end of it.

Akechi learns the truth behind Akira’s arrest and Shido’s involvement and he is disgusted to find that he genuinely wants to help this guy, and he can’t do that if Shido’s dead, maybe he doesn’t want his revenge as badly as he thought??? Oh, ew, I have feelings that aren’t anger and it’s all my friends’ fault, I can’t just leave them and go off to get revenge, they’d literally die without me, those lovable idiots. Also, when Ryuji saw his home, he pretty much insisted he stay with him instead, and Ryuji’s mom reminds him of the good times he had with his own mother, and he honestly doesn’t think he has the strength to disappoint her like that. So, he decides to change Shido’s heart, but he knows that there’s no way that this little group of miscreants is strong enough to take on the fucked up bullshit that he’s seen in Shido’s heart, so let’s hit pause on that for now.

Shido had Wakaba killed via completely non-supernatural ways and stole her research, same as before, so Futaba still has a palace. He found out Akira worked at Leblanc a while ago and started dropping by, and then somehow Ryuji found out about it, and now all the Phantom Thieves know, so much for a peaceful place to get away, but he actually doesn’t mind that much, and Akira lets Akechi keep an eye on the shop when there are no customers so he can go out and do errands and Boss doesn’t mind, so they’ve ended up hanging out there as a group from time to time and talking Phantom Thief business, so Futaba knows who they are, and asks for their help.

Okumura’s palace pretty much goes the same, Okumura dies somehow, are we responsible, why does murder actually make me feel kinda bad, stupid friends and their stupid good influence. 

Goro attends the Shujin student fair as guest speaker, whoa, the class president being friends with Akechi does have its perks, doesn’t it? Akira finds them all there together and approaches them, tells them he saw them go into the metaverse, awakened his own persona, and saw a guy in a black mask kill Okumura’s shadow, hey why don’t I join you, you probably need all the help you can get, who’s heart are we stealing next, how about Sae, she knows my probabtion officer and has been giving me hell, plus I already checked, she definitely has a palace.

They agree, and oh, hey, Akira can hear Morgana talk now, but WAIT A MINUTE?! Didn’t he hear Morgana talk before when he told Goro that Leblanc didn’t sell sushi, even though Goro hadn’t asked for any?

They hack Akira’s phone, learn that Shido (Akechi recognizes that voice) will have thugs waiting to capture them when they leave the palace. They plan around it, pull the metaverse switch and manage to sneak a heavily drugged Akechi out of the warehouse Shido stashed him in by traveling through the metaverse. Shido’s lackey’s have written a fake suicide letter from the leader of the Phantom thieves, and the chief of police, under Shido’s orders, delivers a statement confirming its authenticity, and look the plan succeeded. All they need to do know is take down Shido.

Things are going great, until they get to the engine room, where Joker, having realized what happened, is waiting for them. Joker, who lost everything after he transferred, who discovered the metaverse completely alone, who didn’t mean to kill that guy’s shadow, but he attacked him first, and Shido had somehow known, had been keeping an eye on him, had him convicted for a crime that he didn’t commit in the hopes that he would break because he needed an agent in the metaverse, and so far he’s had no luck. Joker, who had nothing left to lose and had accepted the only hand that had reached out for him.

They fight, and when it looks like things are going badly for Joker, he pulls out... a second persona?!?! At least, it looks like a persona, but something about it is off. it looks familiar somehow. And then Akira asks if they knew it was possible to fuse personas and Akechi realizes what he’s looking at. These aren’t the clean executions that Caroline and Justine perform, these are personas that have been ripped apart and haphazardly thrown back together with no thought to form or elegance, look, there’s a Yaksini’s arm, and that bit right there clearly used to belong to a Rangda, and I think that piece might have belonged to a Seiryu, and Akechi should stop listing personas now because Ann thinks she’s going to be sick.

They keep fighting. Joker can’t understand the difference in power between them. After all, aren’t they the same? Unloved, unwanted, soldiers pitted against each other by some bullshit higher power?

When Joker shoots the bulkhead door closed and Futaba reports that she’s lost Joker’s reading, Akechi vows then and there that he’s going to kill Shido after all. And he almost does. He stands there, with his gun pressed to the head of the shadow of his father, his friends can’t blame him, and even Morgana knows better than to try and stop him. But he doesn’t. He remembers Akira’s madness there at the end, and wonders what he would have become of him if it weren’t for Ryuji, who somewhere along the way, he’d realized he’d stopped tolerating and started actually liking. Ann, who shared his woes about being in the public eye and swapped tips with him about how to handle the press. Yusuke, who, although he was still completely bizarre to him, appreciated the beauty in life and didn’t tease Goro for his taste in Grandpa clothes. Makoto, who knew the importance of hard work and who, between herself and her sister, had caused Goro to pick up some healthier coping mechanisms. Futaba, who made fun of him for his food blog, but liked the same nerd bullshit that he did and would bombard him with memes until his day somehow became a little less shittier. Haru, who dreamed of starting her own business and actually cared about Goro’s opinions, and could threaten someone with a smile in a way that even Goro was jealous of. And Morganna, who had reminded him what it was like to not be lonely, and demanded more sushi than he could afford, but always made sure Goro ate his fill, instead of getting so focused on his work that he forgot.

Akechi guesses that he must have turned soft somewhere during the past several months, but after seeing what happened to Akira, he can’t help but be grateful, knowing with certainty that if things had turned out differently, that would have been him. Hey, Morgana, you know that world-saving bs you talked about two years ago? Let’s leave this piece of shit here to rot and focus our attention on that instead.

And you guys know the rest.

Or, at least, that’s how I thought it would go. Feel free to share your thoughts. :)