#good for them. let the CCs get their bag | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sweetbans29 · 6 months ago

Text

Jersey - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: Caitlin likes her jersey better on you than she does on herself (based on THIS request)

Warnings: fluff

Word Count: 3.1k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: What any of us would do for this...

When you met Caitlin sophomore year of high school, you would have never imagined your friendship and relationship to get you where you are today. The two of you played on Iowa Attack and that is when you learned just how amazing she was.

It would be a lie to say that the two of you connected right away - you actually butted heads at the beginning. When the two of you first started playing - she wasn't the best teammate. And that was a knock to her, it was a learning curve that everyone had to navigate. She was just that good.

But once the team got more practice together and began to learn how Caitlin played and how everyone played a role, the team really began feeling like a team. It rubbed you the wrong way in the beginning but the more you got to know her and her game it made sense. She was so far ahead of everyone when it came to her knowledge of the game that you could understand where she was coming from.

It was your senior year of high school when the two of you started dating. You made the first move even though she was the one to be completely obvious when it came to her feelings for you. You wanted to make your first date memorable so you asked her mom to help.

You show up at Caitlin's house at 10AM on a Saturday morning and knock on her door. She opens the door and is surprised to see you standing there.

"What are you doing here?" Caitlin asks with a little blush.

"Why hello to you too," you say with a smile. You can Caitlin's nerves with your presence. She tries to keep it cool and play them off but you just stand there and watch her struggle. First, one of her arms comes up and leans against the door while she crosses her leg. When the door begins to move she realizes it is a bad idea and stops leaning on the door and decides to put her hands on her hips to keep her hands from fidgeting.

"You know you are cute when you are nervous," you say and she blushes even more.

"You didn't answer my question," she says trying to regain any part of this meeting.

"Well, if you must know," you say with a teasing tone and the biggest smile. "I am taking you on a date."

She looks at you with wide eyes, a smile immediately making its way to her face.

"Wait, what?" She says with a goofy grin - her heart beating faster now than it does in any game.

"Caitlin Clark, we are going on a date," you say again, your smile matching hers. Her smile fades as a realization hits her.

"Wait, my mom needs me to help her with some family stuff today," Cait says, now frowning.

"No, she doesn't, I sort of roped her into helping me block out your schedule today so I could take you out," you say proudly that your plan had worked.

"Mom!" Caitlin yells as she immediately goes to find her. When she walks away from the door, you step inside and wait for her to return.

"Mom! Aunt Ellie isn't coming over today?" Cait asks. Her mom laughs.

"Well, she is, but we don't need your help. You are going out today," her mom says as she hands Cait a bag.

"What is this?" Caitlin asks, looking at the zipped-up tote bag. She begins to unzip it.

"Nope! You can't look in there yet," Anne's hand comes and stops her daughter. "She will let you know when you can."

Caitlin turns back to look at you standing by the front door. She goes back to where you are.

"Are you ready?" You ask.

She nods with excitement and you guide her out to your car.

"So where are we going?" She asks as you begin the drive.

"You will just have to wait and see," you say with a smile.

It was almost a 3-hour car ride but you finally made it to your destination. Once you were near your final destination, you let Caitlin open the bag her mom handed her. Inside is her Chiefs jersey.

"We are not," Caitlin says as she pulls out her jersey. "There is no way."

You laugh.

"Ya, I actually just drove us out here to go watch it at some local restaurant." You say and she whips her head to look at you in disbelief.

"I kid," you say putting your hand up and telling her to look in the bag. Under the jerseys were two tickets to the game that afternoon.

The two of you spent the day cheering on the Chiefs, eating all of the stadium food you could hold, and enjoying each other's company. On the drive home, you both were riding the high of your team's win. It is only when you are pulling up to her house that she becomes quiet. You park your car and she doesn't make a move to get out.

"Why...how did you do this?" Caitlin asks looking down at her hands.

You give the girl a question look - not that she sees. When you don't answer right away she continues.

"Why me?" She asks fighting the urge inside her to remain looking at her hands and turns her head to look at you. You look at the girl with love-filled eyes and a gentle smile.

"Why not you Caitlin? We've been friends now for a few years and even though I may have had my reservations about you in the beginning, you let me in and showed me who you are. A girl who feels so deeply that she doesn't know what to do with it half the time. You may be reserved with the world, and rightfully so I might add, but you have welcomed me into your heart and have made sure I stick around a while. You never explicitly said you liked me but seeing how your actions have changed towards me the last few months - the protecting, the asking intentional questions, the nervousness, all of it never went unnoticed. You were just too busy caring for me to see that I have been trying to love you back." You say as Cait sits there in disbelief and trying to wrack her brain for any of your signs the last few months. You take her hand in yours.

"So I got tired of waiting - I felt like I knew you well enough to know at the rate you were going, you would have never asked me out before heading to Iowa and I took matters into my own hands. I got together with your mom and dad and they helped me plan this." You bring her hand up to kiss the back of it.

Caitlin is too stunned to speak - she has never had anyone who has loved her like you are. You bring your free hand to cup her face, your thumb brushing against her cheek.

"I am going to kiss you now," you say slowly leaning in. You can see the effect you are having on her as her chest begins to rise and fall twice as fast. You bring her into a gentle kiss - it is slow and innocent. Once you pull apart, you both smile.

Now the two of you have moved to Indiana together and are starting life outside of Iowa for the first time. It's both an exciting and challenging time as Cait navigates the transition to the W right out of college. After finding an apartment - you started learning about the city while Caitlin jumped right into training camp.

The beginning of the season is a rough start as the Fever navigates a fairly new team. You can tell it all takes a toll on Cait mentally as she is trying to figure out what playing in the W looks like. The transition is something both of you were expecting but not to this degree. Her game wasn't what had been affected (at least not to the degree she was worried about) - it was everything aside of the game that Caitlin (and you) had to learn how to deal with. You did your best to make sure Caitlin was talking to her parents and even her old teammates this season to help encourage her and keep her sane.

She is incredibly thankful that you are there with her because aside from her parents, there is no one who knows the girl better than you do.

Her first game of the season was thrilling. It wasn't unfamiliar as Caitlin was used to playing in front of a packed house - it always fueled her even more. You were lucky enough to tag along and planned on being at every game of hers as she had them write it into her contract that you would travel with them to any away game. You had already been looking into flights when she mentioned you would just be traveling with the team.

You would always be close behind her when she would arrive at the stadiums and would often get pulled into quick little interviews about Caitlin. You would always hype her up and match her in some way shape or form.

After every game, the two of you would walk hand in hand with her jersey draped over your shoulder - ready to turn in for the night.

It had become a thing in college where Caitlin would pass along her jersey to you after every game. It became such a known thing that the uniform team would need to provide Caitlin a new jersey every game. It wasn't super uncommon but soon became known that after she put her game jersey on, it would never come back to them.

The fans also started to notice how you would walk out with Caitlin after the game with her jersey draped over your shoulder. The fans that had followed her in college knew that her game jersey was reserved for you but the newer fans had a field day when they found out. It became what you were known for.

You didn't expect it to be the same in the pros with Caitlin's jersey as you saw other players signing and handing off their jersey to a fan after the game. But without fail, after every game, Cait would walk out to you, jersey in hand, ready to hang it over your shoulder for your collection at home. The world knew that all game jerseys were yours, but what they didn't know is that before she would give them to you she would write some sort of cute message on them just for you. They would all conclude with her CC signature and the date.

It's the 6th game in the season when the Fever plays the Sparks for the first time. You are sitting in a box with some of the other staff and visitors for this game. By the end of the fourth - the Fever takes their first win of the season and the crowd and the team go crazy.

You make your way down the court when there are 2 minutes remaining and wait close to the bench as the team celebrates their first victory together.

Cait is pulled into a quick post-game interview with Aliyah and then is told to go meet someone courtside. You wait patiently, talking to some of the other players and congratulating them on a much-deserved win. You are talking with Lexie and Jason Sudeikis (who you have surprisingly built a friendship with as became to many of Cait's games) when you are pulled from your spot and are being dragged across the court by your girlfriend.

"Caitlin, I was in the middle of a conversation," you say yelling over the people. She brings you to a group of people and you immediately gasp when you see Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis standing there with their kids.

She introduces you and you do your best to keep your cool.

"We are such big fans of yours," you say as you hug each of them.

"You are too sweet!" Mila says as she introduces her kids.

Their daughter looks up at Caitlin with tears in her eyes and asks if she would sign and give her jersey to her.

Both Caitlin and Mila speak at the same time.

"This jersey is already claimed but I can definitely get you a signed one!" Caitlin says.

"Sweetie, you know she always gives it to her girlfriend," Mila says at the same time.

You decide to jump in.

Looking at the girl you say, " I would love if you had this jersey." Your smile beams and Caitlin is about to protest.

"But you have to promise to keep it safe for us, okay?" You say and she proceeds to nod with excitement.

You look over at Cait, who is giving you a 'but no this is yours' look and you just wave her off.

"I'll make sure it gets to you once she changes out of it okay?" You say and Ashton and Mila are both incredibly thankful for you.

"It is crazy that you knew that all of my jerseys go to her," Cait says to Mila.

"Well, we have been following you for a little while now and have seen the interview when you mentioned she has all of your jerseys from college. That is super cute," Mila says.

Caitlin blushes and you laugh.

"You would think I have enough but 139 just isn't enough," you say jokingly and Cait gives you a look of hurt - you know it is all in light spirits.

"You love it when I give you my jersey," Caitlin fights back.

"I do, and I hope you never stop," you say leaning in to hug her side, patting her on the chest.

You part ways with the Kutcher family and tell them you will get their daughter CC's jersey but not before taking a photo.

When you get back to the locker room with Caitlin, she changes and your take the jersey.

Later that night you are scrolling through your social media feed and see Mila had tagged you in a post. You pull it up to see it is the group photo that was taken followed by a photo of her daughter in Caitlin's jersey. You smile and like it, leaving a comment - 'No one else I would rather share CC's game day jersey with 🫶🏽'.

You scroll through the comments and see how cute it is and how that is a one-in-a-million jersey. You turn over to Cait, who is lying next to you, and show her.

"I can't believe you gave away my first Fever win jersey," she mumbles. You laugh at her.

"I have your pre-season win jersey! And there was no way we were saying no to Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis," you say.

"Even she was saying that jersey belonged to you," Caitlin retorts.

"I think we will both live if I don't have a jersey from today," you say and kiss her shoulder.

"That's what you think, but lucky for you - I made sure you wouldn't go home empty-handed," she says as she gets out of bed and brings her over her warm-up shirt from the game.

"Caitlin, you did not." You say sitting up and taking the shirt from her.

You look down at it and see her message.

[My girl - This first win goes to you and the heart of gold you have. Here's to many more. I love you - CC 5.24.24]

She is still standing next to your bed when you reach up to hug her. Her arms wrap around you faster than yours can wrap around her.

"I love you, you know that?" You say squeezing your girl.

"I know and I love you even more," she says as she nuzzles her head into the crook of your neck.

BONUS - SOME OF THE MESSAGES CAITLIN WRITES ON HER JERSEYS FOR YOU

[My girl - To the first of many, a little thank you. I love you - CC 11.25.20]

[My girl - Let the fun begin - CC 3.23.21]

[My girl - I tried but 46 wasn't enough. Thank you for cheering me on no matter what. I love you - CC 2.6.22]

[My girl - Thank you for the pregame pep talk, it was needed more than you know. Michigan didn't stand a chance. Love you - CC 2.27.22]

[My girl - First double-double of the season, feeling good. Love hearing you in the crowd. Love you - CC 11.10.22]

[My girl - Not the way we wanted to ring in the new year but having you here made it better. We will get them next time. Love you - CC 1.1.23]

[My girl - A triple-double to take us to the final four, who would have thought...I mean you, you knew I could. I love you - CC 3.26.23]

[My girl - That one was rough, thank you for always cheering me on. I love you - CC 4.2.23]

[My girl - The beginning of the end. So glad you are here with me. Love you - CC 11.6.23]

[My girl - Thank you for loving me through my worst. You are the best - CC 2.11.24]

[My girl - I did it, babe! Most points in D1 women's basketball AND school high with career-high scoring for a game, easy. Hope you enjoy this birthday gift, love you - CC 2.15.24]

[My girl - Not to brag but your girl is the all-time leading scorer in the NCAA. - CC 3.3.24]

[My girl - No mercy, we have been working for this all year. Love you - CC 4.1.24]

[My girl - I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, your support at every game fueled me. Thank you, baby. Yours forever - CC 4.7.24]

[My girl - Here's to a whole new adventure and jersey for your collection. I love you - CC 5.3.24]

[My girl - This first win goes to you and the heart of gold you have. Here's to many more. I love you - CC 5.24.24]

[My girl - Marry me? - CC 9.19.24]

AN: This is cute. I'm a fan but let me know what you think. And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

#caitlin clark #caitlin clark imagine #caitlin clark x reader #caitlin clark concepts #caitlin clark masterlist #iowa wbb

558 notes · View notes

foreingersgod · 2 months ago

Note

babes ur writing is so good , can you write something where the reader is going to indiana with caitlin but is nervous that cait will forget about her ???

*i think i interpreted this wrong so i’m so sorry lmao

Champagne Coast . CC

pairing: caitlin clark x reader

synopsis: request ^

A/N: y’all i’m so sorry for how long this took me!! and i feel like my writing has really deteriorated so please give me feedback and let me know if you like it or totally hate it lmao, thanks for your patience!!

also sorry i had to use YN like ONCE !!

wc: 10.6k

Finishing eight or nine?

Tell me, what's the perfect time?

your bowl had been placed in the dishwasher long ago, countertop cleaned and leftovers placed in the nearly empty fridge. dinner was growing cold and you hadn’t cared to wait, opting to eat alone yet again before residing in the living room. the tv played in the background with some arbitrary doctors show from the 90s as you sat patiently watching the clock. the hands were beginning to collect dust, you noticed, though it had only been up for a few months upon your move to indiana. each tick seems to mock you the more time dragged on.

she was supposed to be home long ago. practice would have been done at 8 or 9 and it was now approaching 11. this is what it always was, waiting up for her well into the night when the street lamps turned on and the sky grew dark. and you’d wait up like you always did as you were unable to sleep without her. especially in this new home, new bed, new sheets, new life. it never quite bothered you that caitlin would show up late every once and awhile, but it had started to become a habit, and you were left cold and alone. pestering her about being home at a certain time wasn’t fair to her by any means, knowing that she was just going and getting to know her team some more. but recently it felt like you were navigating this milestone in your life by yourself-your girlfriend hardly around to comfort your racing mind.

when caitlin had been drafted, you knew immediately in your heart that it was going to be rough. change was something of a challenge for you and it terrified you more than anything. you recalled sitting at that table, hearing her name announced and the deafening cheers, thinking about how excited you were for her. and even though you were thrilled for her, you couldn’t help but think about how your perfect world was going to slowly crumble. caitlin insisted that things wouldn’t fall apart, just adjust for the future you were going to build together. but now you were here, in this house-not home-trying to convince yourself that all of it was true.

suddenly, you were pulled from your period of musing when the lock of the front door clicked. it was followed by the faint creaking of hinges, old brass from the 70s, your land lord had claimed. you thought she was full of shit. weary eyes traveled to the opening door to see a very tired caitlin walking in. her hair was tousled, post practice shirt just slightly wrinkled, the slightest bags under her eyes that she insisted weren’t there. she was struggling with the move just as much as you, though she’s never admit it.

“hey,” you uttered just enough to be heard over the television. feelings of your isolation had begun to dissipate the moment you saw your girl, relief running through your veins “you’re home”

“yea” she cleared her throat as she let her bag fall to the floor. the squeak of her shoes echoed against the walls when she toed them off, eventually setting them on the rack beside the door. there was an uneasiness laced in her voice you had picked up on. she didn’t seem angry nor irritated, but she was far from her usual self when she was home. she’d typically be thrilled to see you, ready to be in your arms again and let the stress from the day wash off. you were the first thing she’d looked for when she stepped across the threshold. but tonight, her eyes were hesitant to find yours.

“are you alright?” you watched as she shuffled into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, skipping over the leftovers that you had considerately set aside just for her. her favorite meal dished into the nicest tupperware you owned. her slim figure leaned against the cool marble countertop, taking a swig of the water “you seem a bit…off”

“just tired” she glanced at you, locking eyes for what felt like the first time since she’d been home. a weak smile made its way onto her lips as she studied your position on the couch. you couldn’t lie, she did look tired, but part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that had been consuming you for months. the distance that basketball had created made it feel like you and caitlin were living separate lives, when really, this should be something you tackled together. you couldn’t blame her for any of it even if you wanted to, just hoping that things would go back to the way they were.

you wished she were home more, that her presence would provide you some sort of reassurance. maybe just to convince you that you weren’t going insane, liked you were trapped within these walls for a reason other than her career. it had been a while since you felt like you were living a life that didn’t solely revolve around caitlin’s.

“okay” you smiled back bitterly without pressing any further. any energy you had for a conversation like that had left your body hours ago. reaching for the remote and lifting yourself off the couch, you motioned to the stairwell. considering she didn’t even acknowledge the food, you assumed settling down for the night was what you both needed “ready for bed?”

she blinked rapidly, kissing her teeth silently when she noticed the annoyance in your voice. guilt consumed her as she saw the look on your face, the twinge of desire lost from your eyes.

“mhm” she hummed in agreement as she followed you upstairs to the bedroom.

maybe you both just needed some sleep, caitlin thought. neither of you were mad nor cross with each other, but you’d be fools if you didn’t sense the tension in the air. things had been different for quite some time now, all of it too confusing to address, leaving you to wallow in the awkwardness for days now. but if there was any time, any place, where all that was left at the door? it would be here with each other in bed. it was something of a safe haven, nothing else mattered when you left your worries at the door and held each other tightly.

like clockwork, you stripped of your typical daywear down to your lace panties and one of caits t-shirts. it had a worn down high school logo on it, the design fading from the countless times it had been through the wash. she, likewise, pulled her sweaty gym shirt off her body to replace it with one from her closet. you crawled under the covers whilst you took off your earrings, setting them on the small tray on your nightstand-something you picked out at target when you and caitlin went decor shopping for the new apartment. you had barely noticed caitlin also climbing into bed as the memory of that day overtook you. no words were exchanged as you both settled into the sheets, pulling the thick duvet over your shoulders and finally letting your muscles relax. it was only when a pair of burley arms wrapped around your waist, a familiar nose prodding against your collarbone, did the silence break.

“love you” caitlin whispered, breath warm on your skin “m’sorry i was late tonight and that i missed dinner. i’ll make it up to you”

“s’ok cait,” you murmured, sleep tugging at your eyelids. you brought a hand up to her head as you raked your fingers through her hair, she always loved it when you did “i love you too”

it mattered not what she did to make it up to you. she could do anything in the world, buy you countless gifts, take you on a million trips, but it wouldn’t change the one thing your heart desired for.

her.

I told you I'll be waiting

Hiding from the rainfall

trying to navigate to the locker room was a difficult task, having to push past the cheering crowds in a stadium you weren’t familiar with. you were surrounded by a blur of seattle’s green and yellow jerseys as you looked for any sort of path to follow. indiana had just taken quite the loss against the storm and you knew, the second you heard the buzzer sound, that you needed to find caitlin as soon as possible. eventually, you found where you needed to be and beelined for the locker room, hoping she hadn’t already gone looking for you.

the large metal doors stood tall in front of you when you arrived at the locker room entrance. the shift from the excitement out on the stadium floor to this quiet displeasure was staggering and you weren’t even inside yet. whatever you were about to be faced with would break your heart, you could already see it now. you pictured caitlin sitting down, head in her hands as she tapped her foot anxiously and made her best attempt to hold back her tears. she had been struggling with everything recently-the move, the new team, the continuous losses-it was slowly chipping away at her.

however, after pushing the doors open and stepping inside, it was quite the opposite from what you expected. the doors clicked shut behind you, causing the noise to reverberate around the desolate room as you took in the sight before you. and just as you imagined, your heart slowly began to twinge. caitlin sat there on the bench alone, head leaned against her locker as her chest heaved up and down. tears cascaded down her face and her lip quivered the more she sobbed. wispy strands of hair stuck to her forehead from all the sweat and her hands clutched the sides of her head in frustration. you had never seen her in such a state. caitlin was typically reserved, even with you, not wanting to be open and vulnerable. but here you were, seeing her with all of her guards down.

“caitlin” you breathed, immediately rushing over to her. you fell to your knees, body slotting between her thighs. shaky hands came to rest on her legs hesitantly as to not make matters worse “hey, hey what’s going on baby?”

she made a weak attempt at looking at you, tears blurring her vision. a hiccup escaped her chapped lips when she felt your soothing touch on her clammy skin. caitlin couldn’t even manage the words, thoughts lost in her own mind, only tangling more as she continued her cries. she managed to push herself off the locker, letting herself collapse into you as she shook her head. something to signal her unwillingness to talk. her large arms and heavy torso clashed against you as you enveloped her into a hug. warm tears dropped onto your shoulder as she pressed her cheek into your clavicle, creating a damp spot on your indiana fever t-shirt.

“shhh, i know you’re upset,” you rubbed circles onto her back, palm running across the fabric of her jersey “but i need you to talk to me, i can’t make it better if you won’t tell me”

“i just-” she croaked, voice wavering “i feel like…like a failure”

your body went stiff, the movements of your hand stopping momentarily. you hoisted her back up to face her in disbelief. the confession had taken you aback-not that caitlin had been anything but humble, but she knew how amazing she was, of her immense impact on the sport. to hear that word tumble from her lips, masked by a series of desperate whimpers, was enough to break you.

“caitlin,” you dragged on, feeling yourself at a loss for words. everyone thought so highly of your girl and it crushed you to hear her say those words “you are so far from that”

you watched her throat bob as she swallowed harshly. she tugged at the bottom of her jersey, bringing it up to her face to wipe some of the sweat away. in reality it was just an excuse to hide her blood shot eyes. another shake took possession of caitlin’s head to deny your statement.

“yea well my performance begs to differ”

“one bad game isn’t-”

“it’s not just one game” she cut you off before you could even begin to disagree. she had stopped crying by now, intense emotions now overtaken by aggravation “it’s several games. i keep fucking up. missing shots, turning over the ball-shit”

her rambles trailed off in a rampage of huffs and groans, her breath hot as she breathed angrily out of nose. she was always too hard on herself, lost in the heat of the moment and not giving herself any grace for all the hard work she’s put in thus far. it was a topic that began to consume your daily life. caitlin couldn’t seem to shake off the struggles of the day, in turn bringing them home where they became your baggage as well. of course you didn’t mind being there for your girl-hell, you’d do anything for her no matter what-but it was all starting to get exhausting.

you hated that you had these thoughts in the first place, feeling like a bad partner because you couldn’t bare the repetition of these conversations. time after time after time again you’d beat yourself up over it. caitlin deserved the world and more, but you deserved that just as much and these restless nights weren’t providing that. you didn’t even know what to say anymore, torn between how you wanted to proceed.

“there’s a lot on your plate,” you reassured, getting off your knees and taking a seat next to her on the bench. caitlin’s head automatically went to your shoulder as you took one of her hands in yours “you’re just starting out…don’t be so hard yourself. i know it’s rough, but you’re doing what you can and that’s what makes you so amazing. give yourself some grace, babe”

“i know but,” she sniffled, feeling a sense of calmness rush over her as you toyed with her fingers. it kept her distracted, grounded her for the time being “i don’t know, i’ve just been wanting to be the best all the time-for everyone-and i can barley even keep my head straight”

“i think i can speak for everyone when i say you’ve blown us all away” you traced along her lengthy fingers “your fans, your family, me…we’re all so proud of how far you’ve come”

she sighed deeply, you could practically feel the relief dispersing in her veins. in trying times like this, this is exactly what she needed. you were the shoulder to cry on, the answer to all her problems.

“you always know what to say”

she was right, you did. you’d always have the most thoughtful response lined up, no matter the reason or time. partially because it came so naturally to you, having an empathetic heart since forever, but partially from the consistency of these conversations. you couldn’t even count on your fingers the amount of times you’d sit with caitlin on tough nights, rubbing her back and whispering softly in her ear to bring her back to reality.

“well it’s the truth” you chimed “i’m always going to be here for you, cait”

you always are.

she offered you a smile through puffy pink lips, sore from biting them in strain. caitlin found the strength to pull away from you as her hands left yours, only to plant them right back onto your cheeks. her hands felt heavy on your skin when she brought your face to hers gently. your lips met in a sharp yet delicate kiss, caitlin eager to feel you against her again. but it hadn’t felt usual to you, as your bottom lip caught between her teeth and as your tongue collided with hers. it lacked that passion, that thrill of reveling in your lovers embrace. what was once fire was now a mere ember is a pool of spreading ash. you had feared this feeling for quite sometime although you’d never admit it, it felt as if she was slipping through your fingers.

bit by bit.

Tell me, what's the joy of giving

if you're never pleased?

she had changed.

locking herself away and distancing herself further from you as the season went on. she had always been hard on herself, but even then, she knew when enough was enough and what her limits were. but it seemed that after each game, she lost control of herself more and more. you had never seen her be so critical, so judgmental about her abilities.

it was hard to watch one of the most important people in your life shut themselves away. you wanted nothing more than to be there for her, but she put on the same facade each time and claimed that it as a slump to overcome. but could you really call it a slump when it was starting to weasel its way into the foundations of your relationship?

you hated to think it, but you felt neglected; your wellbeing didn’t feel like it was a priority to caitlin anymore. she used to be so sweet, attentive and caring when you were back in iowa. you wished that you were just as important as basketball. but the mere thought of accusing her of abandoning you seemed harsh when you considered bringing it up to her, because in all fairness, she was undergoing one of the biggest milestones in her life. but that didn’t mean that pushing you aside was fair either. you were taking care of the apartment, running all the errands, helping her balance her schedule, comforting her every single night as she saught after you for solace…and then managing your own life on top of that.

some days it felt like she didn’t even bat an eye at the lengths you went for her. how her laundry was done and set on her dresser, how dinner was made each night, how you picked up her favorite protein powder at the grocery store because you noticed that she was running low? she had began to expect it the more you pushed, not even offering so much as a ‘thank you’ or any regard of appreciation.

you could only give so much with little in return, you need her just as much as she needed you.

On my last strength against you

Baby, tell me what you need

you were happy for her, truly you were. it was so rewarding to see caitlin bond with her team and start to navigate her place in the W. she was beginning to believe in herself and that’s all a girlfriend could want for her partner. but something continued to gnaw at you.

you were doing everything in your power to make more time for caitlin-even if it should be the other way around. maybe by clearing up your schedule, it would make it easy for caitlin to make time for you. but you were sorely mistaken, you couldn’t force someone to make time for something that barely crossed their mind. and perhaps it was a foolish thought. an accusation a bit too cruel, but it was hard to watch caitlin celebrate life without you when most of it was owed to you. no one else served as her backbone, her crutch as she climbed her way to the top.

it was a bittersweet feeling for the most part. you smiled when seeing all the team pictures posted on instagram, chuckling lightly when caitlin retold stories of practices as she got ready for bed each night-the only time you seemed to get with her nowadays. but then there were the tears when you ate meals alone at the head of the table, staring off into the empty seat where she should be sat. and of course the mornings where you didn’t feel like getting out of bed because facing reality of your crumbling relationship was too much to bare.

it was an unfair truth; as she glances off in another direction, you’ll be glancing back to her.

Young as I want to know

I will never let you go

“baby?” her voice felt foreign in your ear. you hadn’t heard that pet name in a while.

“hm?” you responded mindlessly, unable to form a genuine reaction.

you were sat on the balcony of you apartment, the sliding glass doors open behind you. it would let the autumn chill into the house, you told caitlin many times to not leave it open. but she disregarded your commands as she leaned against the frame of the door. you had a small blanket draped over your lap to protect your bare legs from the nippy weather of the changing seasons, your chin resting on your palm as you over looked the view of indiana. your mind felt blank and overcrowded at the same time and trying to clear your head with some fresh air didn’t seem to help at all.

you hadn’t realized she would be home so soon. after all it was 5:00 on a friday evening, you presumed she’d be out with the team or running extra drills with aliyah, hell even at a media event of some sorts. you never knew what it was anymore with her. she didn’t bother to text or update you, most times you only knew of her whereabouts from socials or her family.

“are you ok?” she asked again “it’s freezing out here, you should be inside”

“it’s too stuffy” you sighed, inhaling sharply as the breeze brought in another gust “i can’t be in there right now”

you felt her tense up behind you, the image of her shoving her hands into her pockets formed in your peripheral. this was the most you two had interacted in a while, but your moody attitude appeared sudden to caitlin.

“why not?”

“jus’ can’t”

an unsteady silence filled the atmosphere. the only noises left to be heard were the sniffling of your red and runny nose and the traffic blaring below the apartment complex. you had hoped she’d leave you alone and walk back inside. the optimism of trying had started to disappear and you didn’t think you had much fight left in you. you planned to savor the last bits of energy you had to keep this alive, although today didn’t feel like one of those days. you continued to look out into the distance when she finally moved. you felt the spot next to you plunge as she took a seat.

“you never answered me,” her hand came to rest reassuringly on your thigh. despite the blanket that separated your skin, the contact still felt cold “are you doing ok?”

she had already picked up on your weariness, you were never so shut off when you were with her. but you couldn’t pretend to care when she couldn’t either.

“mhm” everything in you fought to not make it sound so obvious, the sound of your heart breaking as you croaked out the words “i’m good”

caitlin was doing so well and you couldn’t bring yourself to be the bitchy girlfriend that was groveling for attention. you weren’t okay, your relationship wasn’t, but if you just sat in the quiet and let it blow over then maybe it would be. you feared being seen as selfish and you felt guilty as you pushed caitlin away with your short answer.

she huffed, pulling her hand away from you as she hunched over her self, elbows on her knees and head in her hands.

“weeks ago you were talking about how excited you were for fall” she muttered “so that you could put out decorations and we could cuddle up on the couch and watch those old scary movies you love so much”

you allowed yourself to look in her direction, noticing how her face was covered by her beautiful long hair. but you didn’t need to see her to know that she wasn’t pleased.

“but the house looks the same and you’ve been sitting on the balcony every day even though you know it’s gonna make you sick” she craned her neck to look out across the city and you could see the trail of tears in her eyes. just glossy, but not enough to fall “it doesn’t sound like you’re ok”

you couldn’t do this, not right now.

“i’m sorry” you breathed “i understand your concern. i just think i’m a little stressed is all you know? just got a lot going on right now and i guess my focus has just been elsewhere. i’m sorry”

a nearly complete lie, all your focus had been on her these days.

“no need to be, i get it, and you know you can always talk to me about these things. but you gotta come inside, babe” she prodded “you’ll catch a cold”

with reluctance, you gave into her request and pushed the blanket off your lap. caitlin watched as you folded it and draped it over your arm before taking your hand and guiding you inside. the warmth and the calming pumpkin scent of your candle enveloped you like a hug, putting you at ease for the time being.

the both of you fell back into your typical routine almost instantly. no words were exchanged as she headed upstairs to shower, and you moseying into the kitchen to start on dinner. some polite conversation was made when caitlin came back downstairs with wet hair and freshly moisturized skin to help you finish dinner, but that’s as far as it went. no hugs from behind as you stood at the stove, no kisses on the neck, no laughter that was pure enough to make your stomach hurt. but it was simple and it was nice, enough to hold you over until the rubber band holding you together finally snapped.

Trading a baseball lover as I face the snow

“alright,” you said as you walked into the living room, heels padding against the carpet of the hallway and your dress itching at the skin on your legs. your fingers fiddled with your last earring, making you huff in relief when the clasp finally shut “i’m ready!”

it was date night tonight, the first in what felt like years, and there weren’t any words that could describe how ecstatic you were. just the thought of some much needed bonding time with caitlin gave you hope. yes times have been tough, but there wasn’t anything a little quality time (and maybe some good sex) couldn’t fix. you had been planning this night for sometime, making sure you both had the evening off and meticulously scheduling every last minute of the night. you were optimistic that tonight would open up a new door for progress.

but when you walked into the living room, your heart sunk. here you were, all dolled up with the prettiest smile on your face, waltzing into the most disappointing sight.

caitlin sat on the couch, legs spread and back against the soft cushions. she had her phone in hand, hair pulled back like always…and most definitely in a dirty tee shirt from her hamper and a pair of sweats. certainly not date attire, you knew.

“cait” you stood blankly “it’s 7:00”

“uh yea” she responded, only looking up from her phone for a moment, then quickly doing a double take once she realized your physical state “what’s with the dress? i mean you look as beautiful as always but-”

“are you serious?” you scoffed. you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. never in a million years did you think this would happen in your relationship. caitlin wasn’t like that.

“what do you mean ‘am i serious’?” she was taken aback, frustration already evident on her face as her checks glowed a shade of red “i just asked a fucking question”

“you really don’t know?” shoulders slumping when you realized she actually did forget.

she shook her head, brows furrowing as she awaited your response. a quick “no” fell from her lips.

“is the 24th caitlin” you chewed at your lip nervously, trying to hold back tears. you voice wavered as it caught it your throat, making you sound weak and defeated “our date?”

the color drained from her face in seconds, gaze softening and lips downturned. she was off the couch in seconds as she stumbled towards you, bringing your hands into hers. but you pulled them away swiftly and shot her a glare. you were done with the excuses, done with being left in the dust

“babe, i’m so sorry” she shook her head and brushed off the sting that came with your reluctance to her touch “i totally spaced, i could’ve sworn it was next week”

“i’ve been talking about this for months, caitlin” the words stumbled out from gritted teeth, jaw clenched in anger. you had no idea what to say anymore.

she gulped deeply as she looked down to her feet, she was in the doghouse for sure. although you’d consider her fate to be much worse than that. you began to sniffle upon her silence. could she really not manage to say anything right now?

“let me make it up to you” she tried to compromise. part of her knew she’d never be able to outlive this, but she was delusional enough to still believe she could somehow fix it.

“no,” you breathed, bending down to take off your heels. there wasn’t even a point in salvaging this tonight “just forget it”

“no really, you’re upset and this meant a lot to you and i want to fix it”

that was your breaking point. perhaps she didn’t mean it that way, but did she really only see this as something important to you? did she care at all about spending time with you? you wouldn’t be dumb to think that she wouldn’t, she had hardly done anything recently to make you think otherwise.

“really?” you sneered again, there was nothing holding you back anymore. you tossed your shoes onto the couch, leaving them as a problem for later “you want to fix this because it meant a lot to me?”

caitlin tried to study your facial features as she said nothing yet again. she couldn’t tell if you were genuinely mad or just annoyed, willing to forgive or prepared to hold this against her. she noticed the deepened tones of your cheeks and nose, the twitch of your left eyebrow, and the motion of your tongue darting out to sooth the previous bites on your lip. she had never seen you this mad, not in the eternity she had known you. you were such a sweet and loving person, incapable of talking bad about someone or staying mad for long. but she’d be damned if it felt you hadn’t changed within a second.

“i thought you would’ve cared too” you continued “you know, since i’m your girlfriend and you should also want to spend time with me”

“i do spend time with you”

“the fuck you do”

“what the hell does that mean?” she questioned angrily “of course i do, i’ve just been busy”

“please enlighten me then” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes “when was the last time we spent time together?”

“well what about tuesday, huh? when we, uh..when we watched that movie before bed? or when we both went to the team dinner the other night? that was spending time together wasn’t it?”

“no i watched the movie, you barely talked to me all night and the crawled into bed and went to sleep with your back turned,” you choked up as you recalled the memory, you remembered how much it broke your heart. your fingers came to pinch the bridge of your nose as the familiar sting of tears washed over you. “and really, the team dinner? you call that spending time? is it really that if you just chat with your buddies the whole night? you practically ignored me the entire time”

she kissed her teeth at you, clearly aggravated, but deep down she knew you were right. she hadn’t been good to you at all these last few months. and if she were to really be fair to herself, she’d have to admit that it was taking a toll on her too. she didn’t know why she was doing this, why she was acting this way, but she had already made her bed and she’d have to lie in it. this was a habit she knew she’d been baring for quite some time, pulling away when things got hard, leaving her loved ones to cope with the pain from her mistakes. and it broke her heart each time, but with you, it was like she was losing air.

“i’m trying here, alright?” her throat was dry as she tried to give you some poor excuse. she was too caught up in her own shame that she was digging her grave deeper.

“look caitlin,” you glared “i don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but i’m tired. trying just won’t cut it. i know you’ve felt the distance too, we haven’t been normal for a while now and it’s killing me. i can’t eat alone every night, have you come home just to ignore me, and the only time i get with you is under the public eye or with your friends. i know you have shit going on, cait, but you keep pushing me further and further away from you and i don’t know how much longer i can take it. i’m here for you time and time again and you can’t find it in yourself to set aside one fucking night for me”

you chewed at your lip, carefully navigating your next move before continuing.

“i left my entire life behind for you, caitlin. my friends, my family, everything that i have ever known. i left it all to be here with you and support you. and the fact that i spend every day mourning you when you’re in the same house is suffocating, i just can’t do it”

body shaking with anticipation, you looked down at your bare feet. you couldn’t bring yourself to look her in the eyes anymore. before you could stop it, sobs racked your body, tears cascading down your face. the emotions were too much to handle.

“babe-” she cooed, voice softening upon your confession. she’d never felt so disappointed in herself.

“stop,” you said meekly, cutting her off through your own sniffles. you forced yourself to look at her briefly, wiping away the mascara that had definitely accumulated under your eyes. whatever she had to say, you couldn’t hear it tonight. whether it be an apology or total rejection, the end to this period of suffering was about to end and you weren’t ready to deal with it head on yet “i think we need some time, caitlin. i just-i’m too upset and i’m hurting and i think time will do us some good”

“wait what?”

“you need to work out your shit. i don’t know, i think i’ll go to one of my friends places or something for a while..because i can’t put myself through anymore of this”

“no,” it came out as a blurt, her mouth moving before she could think. although she wouldn’t want to think, the image of you leaving plaguing her mind already “please, no, we can figure this out! god, fuck- just please don’t leave me”

you watched her slowly breakdown, she was becoming increasingly hysteric as begged you to stay. you gulped hard when she started crying along with you, another one of the few times she had shown you this side of her. it pained you to see the sight, your instincts told you to take it all back and reassure her everything was ok. but you had to keep your head high and remind yourself that things wouldn’t be ok if you didn’t look out for yourself, even if that included stepping away from caitlin for a few days.

“i’m not…i’m not leaving you, cait. just gonna take some time away, we both need to think about how this relationship is going to continue. and i can’t have an open mind if the cycle continues. but i promise it’s not goodbye, ok?”

she breathed through staggered hiccups, trying to force her body to relax. she couldn’t stand to be without you, even if it didn’t seem like it these past few months. her calloused hand came up to run down her face, taking the tears with it in an attempt to calm down.

“yea” she agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. she hated this, but she knew you both needed the time. you were always right “yea, ok”

and with that, you reluctantly stalked to the bedroom to pack a bag for a few days. shoving random shirts and shorts into the small duffel, avoiding the ones that you’d previously stolen from caitlin over the years. she had opted to sulk alone in the living room, bracing herself by sitting on the couch. she still couldn’t process any of this, the fact that she wouldn’t be with you for more than a day made her sick. even more sick at the fact that you couldn’t talk this out right away, you’d both have to navigate your feelings alone for a while.

she was perched at the edge of the couch, knee bouncing at an alarming rate. her gaze was fixed at the wall in front of her, staring at the variety of pictures that you’d hung on the wall. some of you both when you were younger, others of pictures with your families, and a few from the vacations and holidays you two shared since you’d been together. but her favorite ones, the ones she couldn’t bring herself to look away from, where the one of just you both. her eyes flickered across each and everyone, looking at the way you smiled at her, eyes almost welling up again when she saw how happy you guys were. she’d do anything to have those moments back, go back in time and stop herself from treating you so horribly.

she was disrupted from her period of musing when she heard you walk down the stairs for the second time tonight. you came into view with a bang slung across your shoulder, high heels replaced with a beat up pair of converse. you grabbed your keys as you stopped momentarily to give caitlin a saddened look, lips drawn in an apologetic smile. but you had nothing to be sorry for, caitlin thought when she gave you a similar look in return.

“hey,” she said before you could reach the front door. you turned your head, hand resting on the knob. desperation lingered in her eyes “i love you, and i’m so fucking sorry”

you dipped your head and pursed your lips, letting her know of your approval before fully opening the door and beginning a solemn ascent to your friends apartment.

“i know”

On my last strength against you

Baby, tell me what you need

it had been 6 days. 6 agonizingly long days.

she had nothing but time to think, and yet, she couldn’t seem to gather her thoughts at the same time. her mind was everywhere, bouncing from regret and guilt, to anger and dissatisfaction, and of course the remorse and pain. this is what caitlin was afraid of doing, pushing herself so far away that it had finally gotten to you. she’d gotten caught up in her head so deep that she failed to realize how much you were hurting. she’d never forgive herself for this.

everything felt gloomier without you, she noticed that now. there was a certain comfort in you being there, even if she did ignore you and push you to the side, you’d always be there and she abused that luxury. from the moment you left the essence of your shared home shifted uncomfortably. it was like a storm had unleashed its wicked winds to reign terror over the household, dulling your spirt that had kept it so pleasant and welcoming.

but she had to admit, the time was good. she needed to sit and make a change, promise herself that she’d get better for you. even if that did mean she’d have to sleep alone for a few nights, order takeout because her cooking would never amount to yours, brush her teeth before bed and come home from practice with you nowhere in sight. it was a necessary torture, but only temporary, she reminded herself. maybe she’d never know why she was acting the way she was, have to come to terms with the fact that she’s a shitty girlfriend and doesn’t deserve the apology she hoped you were willing to give. but despite knowing or not knowing, at least she could catch the poison that was her troubled subconscious before it could sink too deep. it was time to give up the self loathing and internal ridiculing. she wouldn’t let herself hurt you anymore

caitlin had always struggled with holding herself to an unachievable standard, convincing herself that she would never be enough or worthy of all this attention. she couldn’t believe that so many people wanted to watch her play, that she was first pick and that she was finally playing pro like she always wanted-part of her thought it was too good to be true. but she didn’t want to wake up from this implausible dream, forcing herself to go above and beyond just to hold onto it. and in the process, she’d forgotten to make time for you too. it was foolish, to ignore you like she had, you were her everything. every waking moment, at every practice and at every game, you consumed the entirety of her mind. at the end of the day, she was doing this all for you.

it was easy to get lost in the fame and the excitement and the pressure, but it shouldn’t have been enough to make her neglect you. nonetheless, she managed to do it anyways. so she took these 6 days to reflect and really target why she felt like she needed to act like this. she would go to the ends of the earth for you, willing to pick herself apart if it meant making it up to you.

Come into my bedroom

her foot tapped nervously against the coir fiber of your friends doormat. a faded “welcome” written in black felt contradictory as she tried to find the motivation to knock. you hadn’t texted or called, hadn’t reached out to caitlin at all to let her know you were ready. but she needed you like she needed air and just had to see you. she had to finally apologize for how terrible she was acting, beg for your forgiveness because being away from you was eating her alive.

she let out a shaky breath as her closed fist met with the white wooden door, sending a loud pounding noise through the other side. caitlin could hear your friends dog barking and scratching against the door, followed by rushed footsteps that got increasingly closer. she barley had a moment to regather her thoughts before the door was pulled open harshly.

“caitlin?” your friend came into view, disheveled as she tried to keep her dog from running out the door. she quirked her eyebrows at caitlin’s presence, shocked and confused-and definitely a little angry-as to why she was at her door “what’re you doing here?”

“i um,” caitlin cleared her throat as if to stall, wanting more time to think of the right thing to say “i was hoping i could talk to-”

“i don’t think she’s ready to see you, cait” your friend muttered, trying to keep her voice down so you couldn’t hear. and you probably didn’t, caitlin was extremely aware of that.

“i know i know” caitlin urged “but i just need to see her ok? i need to make this right”

your friend chewed at the inside of her cheek as if contemplating her next move. you were her best friend and she’d do anything to protect you. after a few seconds, she shook her head and began closing the door, offering caitlin an apology and a goodbye as caitlin continued to beg for just one chance.

“no please, just let me see her! just a few minutes!” she said louder this time, slotting her sneaker clad foot in the doorway “i just need a second i swear to god-”

your friend put all she could into getting caitlin to leave, trying to push her out the door as quickly as possible. but she was persistent and continued her pleas.

somewhere in between the endless banter, through caitlin’s desperate cries and your friends agitated dismissals, came the answer to caitlin’s prayers. you were napping in the guest bedroom when she walked up the steps to your friends home, having been exhausted from sobbing throughout the night. just like caitlin, you hated sleeping alone. but your efforts to seek out peace were quickly interrupted when you heard subtle shouts from the the other room. curious and worried when you heard your friend raise her voice, you hurried to see what the commotion was all about.

you were surprised to the see the scene unfolding in front of you. your friend wrangling the door shut as her legs fought to keep the dog at bay, cussing out whoever was behind the door. you could’ve about laughed at her antics until you suddenly realized who it was that she was trying to shut out. you had assumed maybe an ex or maybe even a family member would have been the culprit, but the long silky black hair that glimmered through the gap in the door quickly corrected you.

“caitlin?” you questioned just as your friend had before. you stood back a few feet front the door, although your voice was loud enough to make the both of them stop.

their heads both whipped in your direction, the door creaking open wider so you could see her in full view. your friend huffed, rambling about how she thought you were asleep and how she was sorry that they had woken you up. but you discarded her as your eyes locked with your girlfriends. there was a certain look of grief in her eyes, the color almost fogging over in despair. your head told you to look away, the sight too depressing to stand, but your heart yearned for her nonetheless, unable to tear your eyes from her.

“YN” she spoke. it was like a cliche movie scene, like out of a fairytale, when the prince sees his princess in her natural beauty for this first time. whist she was hardly a prince and you hardly looked the part of a princess, the feeling was all the same. that feeling of reassurance and love. you were here, right here in front of her in your pajamas and bunny slippers, and suddenly she felt some sort of relief wash over her.

you walked over to them, assuring your friend that it was ok and asking her to give you some privacy. she walked away hesitantly after giving your shoulder a supportive squeeze. she shot caitlin a disapproving glare as she disappeared back into the house. you ushered caitlin to follow you out to the front porch, motioning to the swing that croaked in the afternoon breeze.

“what’re you doing here cait?” you asked, not looking at her, as you settled on the swings cushion, using your foot to keep it from rocking back and forth “i thought we agreed to take some time”

she took the spot next to you slowly as if not to scare you off, she worried she’d mess this up with you. she so badly wanted to reach over, rest her hand against your thigh and feel the soft skin of your palm rest atop it. but she opted for her own lap, picking at her nails mindlessly.

“i know,” a sigh that had nestled deep in her chest had finally met its release when she began “but i couldn’t take it anymore. this week has been fucking torture for me…i had to see you”

sadness washed over you for a moment, like the sun in a day of mist when it has nothing to shine upon, only dissipating when you felt her shoulder brush against yours. there was almost a faint smile on the corner of your lips, you’d also missed her touch over these past few days. but reality was cruel as it brought you back to the present moment.

“it’s torture for me too” you admitted. you despised being away from her, constantly yearning to be with her whenever she was away.

“really?”

“of course” you snorted, shaking your head as you look out across your friends lawn. you eyed the hydrangea bushes that weaved its way through the porch railings, the patches of yellow that spread through the grass-what a statement to question “i always miss you when we’re apart, why wouldn’t i?”

it sounded stupid to say, you realized once the words left your mouth. nothing you had done would insinuate you missing her, especially leaving her to wallow in your apartment alone, if anything it did quite the opposite.

“cause i’ve been a fucking asshole” she blurted “i wouldn’t miss me either to be honest”

she wasn’t lying, she was an asshole. the pain and loneliness that you endured over the past several months were dreadful, and she was finally ready to admit that it was all her fault. there were no more excuses to hide behind, not when your relationship was at stake. as she reminisced on the many years you’d been in each others lives, she found no reason to validate her behavior. you were everything she could ever need, ever want, and she was taking that for granted.

“nothing could stop me from missing you, cait”

a bitter taste filled your mouth as you anxiously responded to her. you’d been biting down on your lip so hard that you had started to bleed, barely even noticing it through the stiff tension between you. it was silent again for a while as you both pondered on your next moves. should caitlin beg for your forgiveness, get on her knees in front of you and cry? or maybe it should be you, convincing the both of you it was a misunderstanding and you should just forgive her and go home? you’d been straining yourself with your own stubbornness and you didn’t know how much longer you could keep it up. part of you wanted to hold your ground and let her know that you wouldn’t except this treatment, but the other part of you just wanted to fall into her embrace and forget about the whole thing. but before you could conquer this battle within your brain, caitlin beat you to it with a rapid burst.

“baby, i-” she said, stoping herself to think-was she even allowed to call you that anymore? her tongue clicked and her eyes squeezed shut, this feeling of guilt was insurmountable “i can’t tell you how sorry i am. how much i regret everything”

she sounded defeated as she fought to get the words out, a whimper threatening to spill at any moment. her nose stung as she sniffled back cries. she thought she’d never get through this, that she wouldn’t even be able to look you in the eyes. but to much of her dismay, your delicate hand met with hers, forcing her fidgety fingers to relax. she turned her head to look at you through damp lashes, and finally seeing your sparkling eyes looking back at hers, found the courage to continue.

“i get so…caught up in myself, and i forget about what’s right in front of me. practice, games, all the hate i’ve been getting recently-christ everything just starts beating down on me and i get so lost. i isolate myself and i push away anyone who tries to break through this damn wall i’ve put up..and when they do..i just end up hurting them” she watched your face contort as she spoke, your lips turning downward to a sympathetic frown. you were always too sweet to her, too good for this world “and that’s what i’ve done to you, the most amazing person in my life and i won’t ever forgive myself for it”

“honey..” the pet named rolled off your tongue effortlessly. caitlin would be lying if she said that hearing it didn’t put her mind at ease. you stuttered, trying to find the words yet again, but she urged you to let her finish.

“i’ve let my shit get in the way of loving you the way you should be. there’s no excuse for how i’ve treated you since the move to indy-not tough games or being homesick or any of that-and i’ve regretted every minute of it. you don’t deserve to go to bed alone just because i was upset, o-or to feel like you have to deal with your stuff by yourself…i know moving has been hard on you, especially since your entire family is back home…and the fact that i haven’t been any support to you is unacceptable and i take full blame for that. and for everything else too, like making you feel neglected? it’s fucking breaking my heart knowing that that’s what i’ve caused, that i’m never around and that i’ve been the furthest thing from a girlfriend. we’re supposed to be a team, we are a team, and all i’ve done is let you carry the weight of both of us. i’m so incredibly sorry and i’ll keep saying it until you believe me”

her chest rose and fell ever so faintly as she breathed deeply. she had run out of air as the words left her in a haste, eager to get her apology out. these past days were spent planning each word, each motion, each action so meticulously and she needed it to work.

and with her final huff, there was a gentle silence again, the wind chimes hanging from your friends porch ceiling clinked softly together. you removed your hand from caitlin’s, letting it rise to her and face and resting it on her cheekbone. the pad of your thumb rubbed into her soft skin, feeling the prominence of her defined cheekbone. she felt warm, probably worked up from the heightened emotions, but it was soothing in a way.

“i believe you, cait” you breathed. you felt her instantly relax into you, the weight of her head pressing into your palm. her eyes fluttered shut and her brows furrowed, she felt undeserving of your reluctance “and i know you’re sorry, it’s okay”

“it’s not” she mumbled against your hand “it’s far from okay. and i’m going to do everything i can to gain your trust back”

“you’re right, it’s not. but i know you’re actually sorry…and you don’t need to gain my trust back, babe. you’ve always had it” her lips quirked when she heard the lighthearted tone of your voice “you really hurt me, and these past few days have been straight from hell. but the fact that you came and owned up to it all shows me that you’re going to work on it”

she nodded frantically, agreeing with every word. because it was true, she’d go the extra mile to ensure you never felt like this again.

“i can’t imagine a world in which i’m not spending eternity with you..so i’m willing to forgive, but my heart won’t be able to bare this again and i need you to promise me it won’t happen in the future. i know you have so much going on in your life, you’ve gone through a lot, but it can’t continue to get in the way of us. i’m here for a reason, to listen and to help in any way i can. please talk to me instead of shutting me out-i want to be there for you okay?”

“of course, i’m going to be better. for you. you deserve more than what i’ve shown you and that’s far from how i want to be, we’re in this together and i want to change. i love you so fucking much and it’ll never happen again”

with a hand still on her cheek and a smile tugging at your lips, you leaned in closer to her. the denim of your jeans rubbed against the swing cushions as you moved nearly into her lap, close enough to press your lips to hers. you could tell the kiss caught her off guard when you felt her body jolt, but quickly relaxing when she fell under your enchantment.

it was a feeling that was hard to explain, like a flame being reignited or a spark nestling in the depth of your chest. you hadn’t kissed caitlin in quite some time, and when you did all that time ago, it had felt meaningless. but here it was different, the taste of jovial tears mixing with that of your lips, creating a rejuvenated feeling of love and adoration. there as a kick to this kiss as she pulled you in deeper, her hand coming to the back of your head to cradle you. it felt good again and you couldn’t be more grateful.

“i love you too”

Come into my bedroom

it had been about a week or so since you decided you were ready to come home and work on healing your relationship with caitlin, and it had already been going better than you had expected. even though the conversation on your best friends porch went smoothly, you had only imagined the fights and anger that would be exchanged once you came home. but caitlin had shown quite the change already and you could already feel the rips and holes of your relationship beginning to mend. she had been just as doting and soft as she was at the beginning of your relationship.

she was treating you to candlelit dinners, drawing you the most relaxing baths, and fitting time into her schedule for you no matter how long it might be. she even took you golfing with her and was dragging you along to outings with the team and occasional press events. you hadn’t felt this excited in a long time, it was like you were crushing on her all over again.

for the first time since your life started in indiana, the little things were beginning to matter.

and now it was a quiet weekend night in, the plushness of the living room carpet weaving between your bare toes as caitlin’s hands rested quaintly on your hips. the furniture had been been pushed off to the outskirts of the room in order to give your bodies plenty of space to sway freely. the overhead light fixture had been long forgotten once the evening sunset began to bleed through the window, creating the sweetest source of light. the old record player, the one you brought with you when you moved away from home, sat on the the table in the corner as it spun yours and caits favorite album. the tune hummed quietly as its scratchy notes bounced off the walls, yet it was perfect for a night like this.

maybe it was cheesy, the way you and caitlin rocked side to side as you danced in your pajamas to sappy love songs, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. it was like a page out of the romance novels you read in high school. you were convinced this was all you needed in life, no luxury clothes or fancy dates, just you and caitlin soaking each other in as you danced around the apartment. it healed something in you as she spun you in her arms, laughing heartily when you stumbled. she was finally back to being your caity girl once more.

“what?” you giggled breathlessly after catching yourself from almost falling, pushing a loose strand of hair out of your face. she was staring at you when you faced her again, dimples evident as she grinned at you. her eyes had a softness to them, similar to the softness of her hand that snuck under your shirt to lightly pinch your side.

"nothin'" she shook her head with a wavering sigh "you're just...everything i've ever dreamed of, and i don't know- i just can't believe this is real"

she seemed choked up, in genuine disbelief that you were standing right in front of her, and it made your heart melt. it was moments like these that you craved, where her walls came down and she was completely herself with you. no pressure to look strong or tough, no holding back tears or true emotions, just pure love.

"of course it's real cait" you titled your head with an appreciative pout. you pulled her in with a comforting hand to the back of her head, leveraging yourself on your tiptoes to place a kiss to her forehead "what do you mean, baby?"

"like," she tried to find the words as she cleared her throat "like i can't believe that you're still with me. i don't know anyone who would stay through anything like the pain i've cause you. and the fact that you're right here in front of me, been so patient with me and understanding...i just feel so undeserving"

"hey, of course you're deserving" you politely scolded "we all make mistakes and sometimes they're bigger than we intend. but i love you more than words can describe and i know you've been trying to mend them. everyone has rough patches in their relationships, but i'm here to stay, caitlin. i'm not going anywhere"

you watched as her shoulders fell drastically; it was apparent that your words meant more than you had originally thought. she had always need reassurance, having always doubted herself in anything she did, and it was an unmatchable feeling knowing that you were the one to soother her. she nodded, not saying anything as leaned into you even more. so, you confided, not prying for a response. this vulnerability was already a big step for her.

you rested your forehead against hers, arms coming to loop around her neck. her long lashes fluttered as they tickled yours. the music was still playing in the background, allowing you both to fall into another oscillating rhythm. although it was cut short again when you felt her lips part, a quiet voice barely escaping her.

"it was you" it came out almost inaudible, leaving you confused on whether you hear her correctly or not.

"hm?"

"it was you," she said clearly this time, foreheads till touching and eyes shut in romantic bliss "from the second we met i knew it was going to be you. like a soulmate or life partner..whatver you want to call it, i just knew that you were going to be it for me"

as you stand there, your heart races, the world about stops spinning. each syllable strikes a chord deep within you, resonating with the echoes of past moments you’ve cherished with her. you could hear those words over and over and never get tired of it. The weight of uncertainty from the past months finally lifts, replaced by an exhilaration that makes everything else fade into the background. nothing else mattered anymore, no stress and no disdain for the road ahead, just you, caitlin, and an eternity together.

"you're it for me too," you said "in every lifetime"

A/N: FINALLY!! it's finished!! i definitely didn't spell check this, so if you catch any mistakes, feel free to DM me so i can fix it! i love you and thank you for your patience with this fic :')

217 notes · View notes

tomriddlehyperfixataion · 2 months ago

Text

The Diary of Tom Riddle- Tom Riddle x Reader - Bad ending.

pairing: Tom riddle x Fem reader

warnings: Horcruxes, Manipulation, Tom being Tom, side effects of being possessed, bleeding, seizure, throwing up blood, horror elements, death.

summary: 16-year-old (y/n) finds a mysterious black book on the floor of after it slips out of Ginny Weasleys caldron, curious, she picks it up and keeps it-which leads to one thing after another and discovers the book is far more than it seems.

-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3- -Part 4- -Part 5- -Part 6- -Part 7- -"Good" ending- -CC ending-

(y/n) swallowed harshly as she ventured into the restricted section for the third night in a row, looking for a particular book that Tom had told her to find. She’d been unable to find it so far, until now.

It was in the chained books section, meaning they were really, really, restricted. She slid the book out and unlocked the chain, carefully setting the chain lock onto the table connected to the shelves. “Possessions and reanimations,” she murmured, flipping open the book and grabbing Tom’s diary at the same time.

“I found the book,” she wrote to Tom, glancing between the diary, the book, and the library-hoping she wouldn’t get caught, she needed to read this book.

Her ink disappeared into the diary and Tom’s writing replaced hers.

‘Very good. To go page 224 I believe, it should have the potion you will need to expel the possession from you.’

Tom wrote back and (y/n) nodded to herself, flipping to the page, noting that the ‘title’ of the potion was missing, but she ignored it, quickly copying down the potion ingredients and instructions into the diary and then as soon as that was done-she put the book back into the shelf after she relocked it in its chains.

She closed the diary and clutched it to her chest, leaving the library in a rush-sighing with relief when she made it back to the common room. She swallowed down the nervous saliva in her mouth, she’d been feeling more nauseous as the days went on since she’d learned about the possession on her.

She just really hoped this potion freed her from the heir of Slytherin.

She took off her shoes and climbed into bed, drawing the curtains and opening the diary after summoning soft lights from her wand.

‘Okay, you can get these potion ingredients right?’

Tom asked and (y/n) grabbed her quill, writing back to him as his words disappeared, the potion ingredients and instructions all still there, just as she’d written them.

“I can, it’ll be a bit difficult though, they’re all in Snapes collection and he guards that like a hawk.”

‘Don’t worry. I’ll help you get in there; I can't just let you suffer anymore with the heir trying to possess you.’

(y/n) smiled softly at Tom’s words, rubbing her thumb against the page.

“Thank you, Tom.”

‘you’re welcome, darling.’

Breaking into Snape’s personal storage room was fucking terrifying, (y/n) knew he was teaching class at the moment but dear Merlin the thought of being caught and having to deal with detention with Snape was terrifying.

(y/n) glanced over her shoulder, diary clutched in her hand. Tom was manifesting at the doorway, keeping an eye out for her, he gave a wave of his see-through hand to give her the all clear and (y/n) took ingredients as quickly, yet carefully, as she could, putting them in her bag.

As soon as she slipped the last ingredient into her bag, she turned heel and walked out of the storage room, quickly locking it again and replacing the wards on it. Tom was brilliant and had quickly, on the spot, taught her how to remove wards so she could get into the storage room without alerting Snape.

She swallowed harshly and walked off, quickly making her escape.

“I have to do what?!” (y/n) asked the diary out loud as Tom told her she had to go down into the chamber of secrets to exorcise the heir from her. What the fuck?! Why would she do that?!

‘You have to (y/n), the heir’s spirit is strongest down there, and it’ll leave easier if you’re down there with it.’

“how do I even get there? I don’t know where the chamber is! No one does!”

‘I know.’

“what?!”

‘I found it. 50 years ago. The attacks were getting deadly. I could lose my home, I couldn’t let Hogwarts close, I found the chamber and found the heir of that era, got him expelled. It’s in the 2nd floor girl’s bathroom, moaning myrtle’s bathroom I believe it’s called now.’

(y/n) swallowed harshly, her hands trembling as she thought about what Tom was saying. That award for special services to the school made sense now, Tom had saved it, he’d stopped the heir of Slytherin from fully opening the chamber of secrets.

She took a deep long breath, feeling a sudden headache, making a spike of panic rise in her chest so she grabbed her quill again and wrote back to Tom.

“okay. Ill do it. Tell me how to get in and what exactly I need to do.”

Waiting was the worst part, just sitting in her bed, waiting until curfew so she could sneak out and go to the damn bathroom to open the chamber of secrets. Her knee bounced as she stared at the clock, listening to the sleeping noises of her roommates, Tom’s diary clutched in her hands.

Finally, curfew came around, but she waited even longer to make sure patrols were further away from where Slytherin house was. She took a deep breath as 1am came along and she slipped out of bed, grabbing the cauldron that was full of the ingredients she needed and clutching it, her wand, and Tom’s diary close.

She took a slow deep breath as she stepped out into the corridor just outside the common room, closing her eyes, hyping herself up before she began her way out the dungeons and up to the 2nd floor.

She was on edge the entire time, hiding each time she thought she saw the light of a wand. Eventually she got to the 2nd floor and rushed into the bathrooms-thankfully Filch wasn’t around and she was able to close the door behind her with no complications.

She took a deep breath, looking at the sink in front of her. Tom said this was the first entrance to the chamber of secrets, which led below Hogwarts to a cavern system that led to the actual chamber of secrets.

And it could only be opened with parseltongue.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She remembered her nightmares, or well, her memories of being possessed; and how she had spoken parseltongue in them.

After a moment, she remembered one of the words, and she hoped it worked.

“Open.” She said in clumsy parseltongue, taking a step back as she gasped-the sink began to disassemble right before her eyes, the sink right in front of her disappearing into the floor with a grate sliding over it, revealing a large tunnel that went deep underground.

Tom was right.

“Holy shit,” she murmured, stepping to the edge of the tunnel, looking down into the pitch-black darkness. “Holy shit holy shit holy shit.”

She took a breath, closed her eyes, and jumped.

Wind rushed past her, biting at her skin and whipping through her hair. She eventually slid out the other side and landed in some slime. She didn’t want to even think about it. She got up and grabbed the cauldron, making sure nothing was broken, and flicked her wand, casting Lumos as she began to make her way through the tunnel system until she reached a natural cave, walking around the stalagmites carefully, screaming as she nearly tripped on a huge snakeskin.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck-this isn’t fucking happening. I hate this I hate this I hate this,” (y/n) muttered to herself, nearly tripping again as she stepped over the giant snakeskin, it had to be a basilisk-that was a terrifying thought.

She walked further into the cavern until she came upon a wall that matched the stone brick pattern of the Hogwarts foundation. This must be it, she thought as she stepped up to the wall, looking at the two stone-carved snakes guarding the wall with emeralds for eyes that gleamed back at her.

She took a deep breath and spoke parseltongue again.

“Open.” She let out a sigh of relief and jolted a bit as the snakes moved and acted as hinges, the wall splitting down the middle and opening inwards; revealing the chamber of secrets.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” she muttered to herself, her shoes getting wet as she walked down the corridor towards the front end of the chamber, glancing from side to side as she looked at the snake statues that loomed over either side of the pathway.

The cauldron hit the stone floor with a clang, and she sat down in front of it, not caring about the water that soaked into her clothes. She could do this; she could do this. She placed Tom’s diary down and flipped to the potion page.

She took a deep breath and waved her wand, the cauldron filling with water and a fire igniting beneath it.

Angel's Trumpet, Asphodel, unicorn horn, boomslang skin, knot grass, and-she swallowed harshly, pricking her thumb and letting her blood drip into the potion. Blood.

The potion rolled and bubbled, turning a pitch-black color. She shakily leaned over, feeling like she was gonna hurl. She could do this, she could get this damn heir soul out of her, and finally go back to being normal-and everything else would too.

She grabbed her wand, transfigured one of the vials of the ingredients into a cup, cleaning it out with water, and scooping some of the terribly thick black potion into the cup. She watched it drip, like inky blood onto the stone floor, mixing with the water on the floor and spreading out like a void.

She glanced at Tom’s diary and then up at the statue of Salazar Slytherin that seemed to glare back at her, took a deep breath.

And drank the potion.

It was thick and tasted utterly vile.

She swallowed one mouthful and dropped the cup, gagging as her body lurched forward, feeling something come back up her throat as her eyes and nose burned.

Black inky blood dripped into the water at her knees, mixing with the water and slowly spreading out-joining with the void of potion that had dropped into the water earlier. The water beneath her slowly turned black as the black inky blood dripped from her mouth, nose, and eyes, mixing with the dropped potion until it was like a void surrounding her.

Her ears rang harshly, and she gagged again, feeling suddenly very weak and shaky, unable to sit up anymore. She tilted to the side, feeling so lightheaded with hunger pangs eating at her stomach.

She was caught by a pair of hands and tugged up into someone's lap, her head cradled in their elbow. She breathed heavily, but it was getting harder and harder to do so as she weakly clawed up at the body that held her now, it was warm and solid-had someone followed her down into the chamber?

“You’ve played your part perfectly my dear,” a now familiar voice cooed in her ear, a hand brushing back her hair from her face. She looked up through blurry vision, her eyes widening as she looked up at…Tom, who was looking back down at her with a…smirk. “don’t worry darling, it’s almost over.” Tom cooed, holding her closer in his lap.

She gasped for breath, trying to talk but she couldn’t find the strength, ever limb felt like lead, her chest filled with a thick feeling that spilled out her mouth as she gagged again, staining her skin and hoodie as inky black blood spilled from her mouth.

Tom watched her, his hand caressing her face and brushing hair off her face as she trembled, she gasped and her body went stiff and shook at the same time, her eyes rolling back slightly as she seized. Tom held her close, shushing her gently as he tucked her head into his shoulder.

“I did grow fond of you,” Tom said in her ear as her vision began to go black and the ringing in her ears blocked all sounds out. “you’ll be honored as I take my rightful place in this world,”

She felt a kiss on her forehead, and everything went quiet, the feeling of floating overtaking her before it all just disappeared.

Tom smirked as (y/n)’s body went limp in his grasp, and he took a deep, empowering breath, feeling the cold damp air of the chamber on his skin, smelling the stone and water around him, feeling the weight of (y/n)’s body in his lap, the wetness of the stone beneath him.

“Thank you my dear,” Tom cooed to (y/n)’s body, kissing her forehead again and scooping her up. Her wand was in his hand and he flicked it, his diary floating and he carefully grabbed it and slotted it in his pocket, it would be too cruel not to keep it, with all the conversations he’d had with (y/n) kept inside, and he wasn’t lying when he said he’d grown fond of (y/n), and he was quite happy she’d been the one to give her life to allow his to be realized again.

50 years in the waiting.

He smiled down at her body in his arms, her head against his shoulder, face pale with the black inky blood staining her skin, hair, and clothes. He turned to the statue of Salazar Slytherin, a maniac grin growing on his face.

“Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts four!” Tom said in parseltongue, watching eagerly as the mouth of the statue opened, and out came the basilisk, who seemed happy to see him-ready to finally eat.

“Kill them all. Leave Harry Potter to me.” Tom ordered and the basilisk hissed, slithering off into the pipes-finally ready to purge the school of mudbloods and feast.

Tom took a deep breath, stronger than ever. He looked down at (y/n)’s body and kissed her forehead again, carrying her out of the chamber of secrets, her wand tight in his hand.

-Bad end.-

damn i really finished writing this just in time-i leave for my flight in a an hourish, lol, anyway-hope you guys in enjoyyyyed, heres the bad eeend...dont hurt meeeee.

im open to requests/suggestions for what else i should write for Tom! :D and yes, the next update i hope to write for is 'the dark lords nanny'!!

taglist!

@dracosslxt4eva @dream-your-own-way @slaggylemon

@slytherinbackintomyroom @starryhiraeth @larallott

@kayytt-2 @chimchoom @joyfulnightmare-hq

@theicypiscean @discofairysworld @simpforih44

#tom riddle x reader #tom riddle #tom riddle imagine #harry potter fanfiction #diary tom riddle #chamber of secrets #angst #death #poisoned

53 notes · View notes

randomfoggytiger · 4 months ago

Text

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Weremonster), Part III

Here we go, first comedic episode of the Revival.

…Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…

Part I (My Struggle I) and Part II (Founder's Mutation).

Let's go!

MULDER AND SCULLY MEET THE WEREMONSTER

Why are we starting with adults huffing spray paint.

…Darin wrote two episodes with people getting high off of the strangest substances.

And that’s not a lot, but it’s odd that it happened twice.

Why do monsters always run towards the people or object or whatever they’re trying to scare or escape from? Like, what if he got surprise-shanked by two high, high school dropouts? (It’s not out of the realm of possibility.)

No self-preservation instinct, tsk tsk.

This dude’s okay, no that dude, woah that dude might not be okay.

…Random paper bag for the high man to stress-blow into.

Oh, look, a writer remembering the lore.

How quaint.

(Sidenote: Darin did not remember the lore, and kinda prided himself on not keeping up with all of it. But that won’t matter to me if he writes a good one-off.)

Mulder’s older now so he can’t stretch his neck to throw pencils at the ceiling. I guess. I suppose. I supposition. I presume.

Kumail’s in this one?

…’Kay.

“Mulder?” Yay, that’s Scully-- “What are you doing to my poster?” And that’s Gillian.

Mulder’s recounting all his failures in an upbeat, presentational way ‘cuz he’s wooing his girl. At least neither of them act like they’re on the precipice of death, that’s neato.

Oh, look, Scully can smile. Remember how she did that twice in My Struggle I? Good times.

Why’s her shirt look like it’s from Walmart?

Forgot this… pencil-scratch material was popular around the mid twenty-teens.

Can I forget it again…? …No? Do they leave it behind in Season 10?

“--Going through these cases with fresh, if not wiser eyes.” Well, I don’t know about that.

Also, is that a dig at his “wiseness” or a tongue-in-cheek joke at Mulder’s pat-on-the-back nature? (Lemme rewind.) Backpat coupled with epiphany.

“Mulder? Have you been taking your meds?”

…

….

…..

What, did they expect a laugh out of me? It just annoyed me because of the whole “Mulder’s depression” trauma I suffered for two episodes.

But at least Darin’s trying to remind us that’s an on-going issue (despite CC implying it doesn’t bother Mulder anymore in My Struggle I and Morgan?-- or Wong-- reinforcing that idea in his “bitterly healed and chakras open” Founder’s Mutation ending.)

Mulder’s a middle-aged man who just got back to the office and is wondering if anything he’s accomplished… well, if he’s accomplished anything.

A valid question in these dark times.

And by dark times, we all know what me and my chocolate-addled, My Struggle-PTSDed brain are referring to.

Mulder certainly does:

“Maybe it’s time to put away childish things-- the Sasquatches, the Mothmen, and… Jackalopes.”

Okay, well that’s rude-- I always wanted to see a jackalope case.

Mulder spent one weekend not getting a community response to his latest fanfic and let the dark thoughts take over.

All joke’s aside, this is an… it’s an okay scene. It’s weighty enough to be taken seriously, you feel for this clone of Mulder’s, you hope he gets his Mr. Incredibles act together--

Oh, wait, he already did by now.

I guess.

We skipped the traincar training montage while he was getting back into FBI ready shape.

…

.....

.......

You’re welcome.

On another aside, Skinner just pulled all the strings only for Mulder to have an identity crisis after one weirdo case.

Man’s been carrying everyone on his back for decades with no rest and his newly recruited, depressed-but-not-depressed-depending-on-the-writer, domesticated-feral-animal agent might just trounce back out of the FBI and go wall up somewhere to mope.

At least he’s not wandering off to take illegal substances to satisfy his curiosity.

No.

That’s saved for another episode.

Scully brushes over Mulder’s confession to say, “we got another case, and this one’s ALSO got a monster in it.”

And that makes him happy.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooookay.

*scribbling notes for later observation*

Darin has a favorite and that is OG Scully. And I will give it to him, she actually sounds happy for once.

ALSO, I noticed your smoker voice is gone, GILLIAN, unless you’re mumbling or using The Sad Voice ™. I noticed.

Scully’s insisting this is a monster case while Mulder mopes around the woods and says it’s a mountain lion.

…I’m NOT gonna nitpick. I’m NOT-- OKAY, so, rewind time.

Older Mulder-- as in the 90s Mulder-- would have at least been amused by Scully’s antics and followed her around for the fun of it, unless he felt used and abused, i.e. Host and Folie a Deux. Here is not the case.

Further, he was intrigued in the basement but is now kind of… dismissive.

Which is. It’s not a big problem, it doesn’t stand out, and it wouldn’t be something I’d clock except I’m very disgruntled and burned and grumpy about the past three days.

However.

Let’s continue.

Mulder’s Patriarchy Pants are making him do the Marilyn Monroe wiggle again. However, like a virus, middle-aged wedgie crotch has infected Scully, too; and the two of them are squeak-squonking ‘round the forest.

They do say marriage slowly turns you into each other.

Mulder sloughing off the naked guy in the crime scene pics as “Well, maybe he’s a nudist.”

Darin.

I know what you’re doing here.

Give Mulder the doubting identity crisis and have his faith transformed. A reverse Clyde Bruckman, if you will. I get it. But you gotta admit, "a nudist" is a pretty weak rationalization, let alone a comeback.

“That’s how I’d like to go out.” That saved it a little.

“The uniqueness of the wound, Mulder, implies a human element.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Scully, I gave up profiling before I gave up monsters.” WHAT? LAST WEEK?

YOUR CREDENTIALS AS A PROFILER GOT YOU HIRED BACK TO THE FBI--

Pause, pause, pause.

He’s probably being tongue-in-cheek. He gave up monsters this morning and profiling last night.

…If he’s not, what’s Mulder gonna do? Take up residence under Skinner’s desk? Have his bald benefactor feed him pencil shavings between meetings?

“You seen one serial killer, you seen ‘em all.” Quite literally, no.

I am.

Puzzled.

It’s not offensive-- WAIT, NO. I’m being emotionally manipulated by a softer Mulder and more upbeat Scully, youcan’ttakemealive--

“Mulder, I can see you’re going through a questioning phase of some sort--”

You don’t say.

From bar to basement. From closet to forest. From Founder’s Mutation to… Weremonster Investigation.

Scully points out they need to help the victims.

Mulder: “Okay, well when you put it that way, Scully, but mark my words--”

I’m not getting the essence of Mulder here, gang.

I got him for, like, three whiffs in My Struggle I and once at the end of Founder’s Mutation, but he’s MIA here so far.

…Perhaps my “clone Mulder” crack in a previous paragraph kinds fits.

Hmmm. If he continues to be Mulder-adjacent, I shall name him… I was gonna say ‘Charlie’, then remembered that’s Scully’s brother’s name. The CC name rot is infecting me.

The streetwalker-on-crack scene was amusing, but not really funny.

OH, MAN, JUST GOT JUMP-SCARED BY KUMAIL, OHMYWORD.

Also, that was a weird cut-- Scully opens her mouth to say something, Mulder looks at her, CUT, Kumail face.

The director was meaning to imply Mulder stopped Scully’s attempted defense with a look, but it only made it seem like one of them said something so cancellable the editors drop-kicked that bit from the final recording.

I haven’t laughed once .

Welp, Kumail ran off after playing a scared animal control officer for three seconds.

Pardon, but what was the purpose of that scene?

This kinda feels like a play: in this set piece, the hooker whacks a creature with a purse; in this set piece, Kumail gets spooked by the agents and runs off after hearing a roar; still in this set piece, Mulder whips out his phone and starts… hitting… the… picture… button.

My thought process:

It's dark at night.

2. I hear a ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.

3. I'm pulling out my gun, not my camera.

You know why?

There are more tigers in North American than the world combined.

Just sayin’.

SCULLY, REINSTALL THE SAFETY FEATURE IN YOUR KEN, PLEASE.

JUST. PUT. THE PHONE. ON. VIDEO. MODE.

Oh, wait, he’s a tech goombus who doesn’t know how to take videos.

THEY SAW A DEAD BODY--

…

THEY SAW A DEAD BODY THROUGH HIS PHOTOS INSTEAD OF NOTICING THE CORPSE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM?

I’m not mad because this isn’t as mean-spirited as the previous two episodes, but that’s just. That’s just.

That.

Wait, how’d they get from Mulder’s camera setting to his photo collage, without swiping or going there or…? He was taking rapid-fire pictures, Scully looks over, says, “What’s that?”, and the camera cuts to a picture that has to be in the phone’s gallery. …What happened-- you know what? Never mind.

Mulder runs off INTO THE DARK with ONLY HIS CAMERA OUT while Scully is yards behind him WITH THE GUN.

Solid decision making there.

My man, if this were a tiger (we’ve already seen it’s the horny Lizardman) or a cougar in heat (well, give Scully a few episodes), you’d probably be very dead.

I’ve named Mulder-Clone: Ken. He’s cute, he’s having an identity crisis, and he’s as dumb as a rock.

This fits unintentionally well with his Patriarchy Pants (though they’re wearing him, not of the other way around.)

Kumail’s here and they both scared each other and now they’re hyper-Ken-focusing on Ken’s wonky phone app and stuff.

Barbie-- clone Scully-- hears Ken and Kumail screaming their lungs out after getting jumped by Lizardman and only NOW notices Mulder had Marilyn Monroe shimmied off.

Imagine if this were the end of Mulders career: questioning his life’s purpose, losing the battle to technology, and T-posing, dead, on the ground.

Ken sounds completely fine when Scully runs up to him asking if he's okay. No wooziness. No nothing. (Kumail, too.)

“Okay. I quit.” Smarty Mr. K. over there (not Ken, but you knew that.)

Monster’s a-running, and Formerly-Mulder springs up and races off with Scully.

What did that jumpscare accomplish, narratively? What did any of these jumpscares accomplish, narratively?

I know we’re only 10 minutes in, but it’s feeling a little too… scene-scene-scene-scene-scene, jumpscare-jumpscare-jumpscare, phone-phone-phone-phone-phone. T-pose. That was a shakeup, I guess.

Ken was going to question the guy on the pot (who is, indeed, the Lizardman, btw) but notices Scully’s face and closes the door and walks away with her.

Strangely, that and the basement are the only scenes, thus far, where Ken was most like Mulder.

Scully, do you regret putting a battery pack in your Ken doll now?

This interaction is still Ken-not-Mulder, but Scully is kinda recognizable.

Just realized. Mulder replaced his slideshow with a phone. Now he can inflict them on his partner even in the midst of her autopsies.

No one is safe.

THERE’S A MULDER MOMENT, I ACTUALLY SMILED!

And now it’s gone.

“So now you’re saying you were attacked by a six-foot horny toad?”

“Woah, let’s keep this in the realm of natural sciences, shall we?”

Um.

That’s not a Mulder line.

That’s not even a Ken line, I don’t think.

Need to think up a new name for Mulder, I guess.

I figured it out. David’s attacking the lines too vigorously rather than letting them breathe. I’m sure he’ll get there.

Or Mulder and Scully were swallowed up by a black hole the second after they exchanged “Scratchy beard” niceties. Because that’s the last I’ve seen of them.

But honestly? Clone. Lives. Matter.

So, I shall fully support Clone Mulder and Clone Scully living their truth, expressing their lived experiences, and digging through each other’s brains like hairless capuchin monkeys dressed in skin-tight leotards.

I was gonna say “horny, hairless capuchin monkeys” but I’ve not got a LICK of sexual tension between them this whole time.

They do say married couples transition from goose-pimply “honeymoon love” to matured, knowing passion; but all I’m getting is the “knowing” and none of the “passion”.

Right after my point, the two exchanged a little upbeat moment. I’ll give it that; but the passion’s still not there.

WAIT, this episode has the fox-in-the-wall scene?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I thought that was the doppelganger one.

‘Kay. Color me intrigued.

…WHAT is going on with these random, “comedic” scenes?

Desk clerk yells "Monster!", Mulder runs in, guy’s shaking over a bottle, makes up a story, tells Mulder to go back to his room “or I’ll kill ya.” Mulder nods and walks off.

I’m not getting the fun of this episode, but I’m only 12 minutes in. So.

Mulder’s snooping in someone else’s room.

Mulder took someone else’s meds.

Mulder found an animal head with hollow eyes that led him to a secret room behind the motel room.

Heh, get it, he’s a Fox looking through fox eyes at Scully. Get it.

I��m remembering bits from DD and GA’s commentary and how they were cheering him on in this moment. Someone should’ve told them this is Clone!Mulder.

More proof this man finds burrows in the unlikeliest places:

The manager says he installed those peeping tom hallways after 9/11, and yes that’s being used as an excuse but there’s supposed to be a joke behind it, right?

For instance: Rocky from Jose Chung’s From Outer Space took some political hits, but the jokes were funny and well-written. Here, they're either badly written or… someone’s directing these actors astray. And I know Clone!Mulder and innkeeper man are good actors because they’re doing their best selling this material. Things still feel wonky, unfortunately.

Mulder’s getting objectified again, Your Honor. He got closeted last episode, he’s “questioning” this episode, and he’s being stared at in his speedo. And he didn't mind one bit.

Innkeeper man’s got closets of his own, too. *badum tssssss*

HOW did Mulder’s phone get a picture of the Lizardman in his human form earlier? In the split-second he and Scully opened the potty stall before turning and continuing their search? I'll even grant that... but a CLEAR one?

Whatever, whatever, whatever.

Clone!Mulder’s patched his disbelief during the insomnia upgrade.

Clone!Scully unleashed a beast but still wakes up and stays up to hear him ramble. (Here’s the “my Mulder” line and the could-have-been-a-Knick’s-T-shirt moment.)

I do have another nitpick: why is Mulder diatribing here-- trying to convince Scully it’s a werewolf when she’s been saying monster or creature from the get-go? Is it the “werewolf” claim that he thinks she’ll rebut? Or?

I do like: Scully about to answer, then nearly smiling when Mulder cuts her off. Brilliant touch. Hats off to GA for that second of goodness.

“‘It defies every known law of nature’-- exactly, Scully, every known law of nature!”

Mulder, she’s agreed with this point since Herrenvolk. She kinda did a mini speech about it.

He doesn’t know how it came to be, but all he’s saying is, “it’s a MONSTER.”

She’s ready to go back to the Unremarkable House already, Mulder. She just needed you to nerd out over monsters.

Which… isn’t that actually the most Scully thing you’ve ever heard? Think about it: she wants to leave the Conspiracy behind, it’s eating her alive, she’s so sad and yadda yadda yadda. Darin says, “Hold up, this girl loves Mulder’s rants and raves” and makes her poke and prod him out of despair with a juicy creature case. And then (hopefully) reaps the benefits.

Girl’s got a mission.

And also, this doesn’t mesh at all with the Revival’s canon, but when has that stopped this crazy trainwreck?

Why’s Scully calling him watered-down-for-FOX’s-approval crazy when she’s been saying creature this whole time? Does she just… like arguing him? …That’s a stupid question, does she like arguing with him this much? …Again, that’s a--

Mulder spouts his theory, admits he stole stuff from another guy’s room, and tells Scully they can use his meds to track him down. “Well, that sounds like a good investigative plan.” In other words: “And you do so good at beach.”

Now Mulder wants to go peeping around the motel, for the lols.

Ken energy, I’m just saying.

Alsooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not Mulder, sorry. He’d be curious, intrigued, perhaps roguishly amused by peeping tom corridors; but he’s never taken the time to search places inch-by-inch, top-to-bottom unless they directly related to the case. Is this a nitpick? Probably. But he’s flinging around broken FBI regulations left-and-right, carelessly reckless of all the rules and laws he’s breaking. Sure, Mulder’s a lawbreaker; but not to the extent that it would violate civilian rights. And even if it were fine, he’d be running off to the next lead instead of sticking around to snuffle through a useless one.

The “Lizardman stabbing himself in the mirror with green glass to break the curse, not realizing it’s him” story doesn’t… really…. Darin Morgan’s writing crackfic at this point.

Impotency jokes.

Ahhh, the middle ages: you end up questioning things about yourself or having to pop pills one way or another.

The comedy keeps failing, I think, because it’s trying too hard. This episode feels like a play (did I mention that earlier?) with dramatic pauses and etc. etc. Not really X-Filesy.

The psychologist prescribes Mulder a pill (because Mulder believes the Lizardman’s a lizard man), then pops the pill himself the second Mulder leaves… which meansssss he believed, too? Though he doesn’t?

I get he was supposed to be a crazy psychologist (ala Dr. Spiegel during the Johnny Depp trials), but, again, the comedy flopped.

“Horny toad lizard man” works at a smart phone shop OF COURSE. Because that’s soooooooooooo clever! Modernization, crises of humanity and identity, get it???

Weremonster’s not offensive, but it’s… I’m gonna be honest, it’s not clever, either.

Why does Scully wear her shirt open almost past her bra line now? Not shaming her, but that doesn’t seem a very Scully thing to do. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking things. It was just her style, her way, her self-expression; and it feels smudged and lost in this version of Clone!Scully.

At least she seems more naturally Scully, this episode. Which means she can only be natural in the funny episodes, huh.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Mulder has a gold car? Mulder rented a gold car? There’s a gold car here that serves as middle-age-over-compensation commentary.

Mulder chastises Scully about the danger of approaching a dangerous suspect without backup then runs off, get it, ‘cuz that’s FUNNY.

I must have a heart of coal because I’m bored instead of tickled. It’s waaaaaaay better than being angry and tired, though, so.

“I’ll take it” is giving this experience too many brownie points, so I’ll use “I’m resigned”, instead.

Here we go, the part where the Lizardman voices Darin Morgan’s gripes with work culture (and I say that because Darin himself said he only works because he has to pay the bills. Which, fair enough, I suppose.)

Wait. Did Lizo Man go from a generic British to an Australian accent?

Guy tries to stage a cop suicide by green glass at Mulder’s hands and…. I’m sorry, this is kind of a fever dream. I can’t even unpack that logic for some bizarre reason.

Let me unpack that logic for some bizarre reason:

Psychologist tells Lizardman the story about breaking the curse by getting stabbed in the appendix.

It involves the realization that the Werelizard stares at himself in the mirror and realizes he’s the monster.

Does… does that prevent him from committing suicide? The psycologist’s instructions remain murky.

Lizardman’s fed up with existence. Decides enough’s enough and goes back to the cemetery.

Mulder walks up and tries to get him to unburden himself.

Lizardman tries to bait him into cop homicide by green bottle.

…How in the world did he think that would happen.

MULDER. LOST. HIS GUN. Which is probably a wink-and-nod by Darin of the good ol’ days when Mulder lost it constantly.

This Lizard’s gotta know who Mulder is at this point, and that Mulder would track him down and find him. That’s my prediction.

Mulder agrees to kill Guy Mann. Guy Mann calls him the only nice human he’s ever met. Of course cut back to Mulder’s face as he insists Guy tell him the whole story, first.

Scully has no idea where Mulder is, does she.

I knew the psychologist’s “other client thought he was a werewolf” would play into this. Heavy-handedly.

The stupid, perfectly placed bush when Lizardman woke the next morning. I can’t even be mad at it.

He took the not-nudist’s clothes, that explains things.

The dialogue’s also kind of… juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvenile.

Lizardman leaped over the natural order of human life by talking mad game, and Darin glosses over the details with “humans are the best at that.” Ooooooookay.

Nope, that doesn’t work for me. Not if Lizardman joined a tech shop and got promoted to manager the next day.

I feel like Darin hasn’t hung around iphone shops much.

HE COMMITTED A MURDER BECAUSE HE ATE A COW IN A HAMBURGER. Really.

Was this lizard a vegetarian????? Because animals constantly break their own eating rituals if they’re hungry (deer eating baby birds, rabbits, and even human corpses, for example.) I doubt a creature of that size and strength existed only on vegetation, especially if there were food shortages during the natural course of its life (which happens in the wild.)

But NITPICK ASIDE, he ate his first cow.

…Why didn’t he go find a head of lettuce and chow down on it? Then realize he’s missing something, eat the chicken from the salad, then go on a meat-eating binge? That would have been kinda funny.

Oh, he’s an insectivore.

So, he’s a meat eater.

And he... uuuuuuuuuuuuugh--

Dude’s a protein eater via the carcases of other living things, not plants.

Dude didn’t have consciousness until he woke a man.

So it wouldn’t have mattered to Dude if he ate a cow, anyway, because he’s a carnivore and humans are omnivores.

So what gives?

“No one likes insects. Not even other insects.” SO INSECTS HAVE EMOTIONS, LIKES, AND PREFERENCES. YET, YOU ATE THEM. I don’t see sound reasoning for an ethical or moral stance here, Guy Mann.

Lizardman spent the rest of the day helplessly watching… porn. Just couldn’t help himself. Uh huh.

Dude, you were an animal YESTERDAY, with no association to human morays or social etiquette or guidelines or….

OH. That’s how the Scully scene plays into this.

But then that scene’ll be shot because it’s played for jokes-- males wanting to overexaggerate their knotch count-- rather than a very real reality of animals with zero morals when it comes to their procreation habits.

Let’s see if I’m right.

Guys, this would have been funnier and-- there’s that word again-- clever if Guy Mann lived like a caveman for a few days then overheard some humans talk about job, bills, and etc. spiraled, thinking he would be stuck as a half-human forever, and resigned himself to the fate of every other human (through the lens of his lizard brain, heh.)

It’s not supposed to be taken seriously, I know, but Darin always wrote plausibility into his previous scripts. This one feels like he didn’t try hard enough.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wow.

Guy went to a "witch doctor"-- oops, “a psychologist”-- but stopped taking his prescribed meds because “it just clouded my thoughts” TO WHICH MULDER NODS IN UNDERSTANDING.

Mulder gets it because, as an Oxford educated psychologist, he could diagnose the other psychologist (who shouldn’t be prescribing meds) as a wack job.

Mulder stopped taking his meds.

Which is what Scully asked if he’d done in the intro.

Which means his depression’s gone away without his meds.

Which means his depression’s either CURED, BOOM, or he never needed meds to begin with.

Which means Scully misdiagnosed him.

And left.

OR Mulder stopped taking them and was on depression med withdrawal in the beginning of this episode, hence his melancholia…?

‘Tis a mess.

Only time to be happy as a human is to spend time in the company of a non-human-- YOU’RE AN ANIMAL. YOU’RE NOT A HUMAN. YOU JUST LOOK LIKE ONE FOR TWELVE HOURS A DAY.

Also, Daggoo. Yup. There he is. Uhuh.

Scully was robbed of her first dog by an overgrown lizard and robbed from another overgrown lizard in return.

Daggoo was let out of the motel and ran off, and Mann felt crushing loss and grief (while looking not quite that) then ran into Mulder and Smarty K and ran to the toilet and got pap shot by Mulder and etc.

(Also, he ran into the werewolf dude; and Mulder knows the urge to “strangle him and eat his flesh” when it comes to villains and their villainy.)

Hokey. That’s how I would describe this episode. Inoffensive, but new Scooby Doo.

Wait, he threw his clothes off while witnessing the werewolf man eat another man (get it, it looked like animalistic sex) then but had them on again when Mulder ripped open the stall door and took his pants-down shot.

What.

Wait, Mulder’s up-to-date with transgender procedures and terms but not? familiar with gay bars?

What, did he subscribe to a Queer Life email subscription between episodes, or is that too new-fangled?

This episode doesn’t know what angle it wants to tackle for Clone!Mulder (forgot that nickname temporarily) and instead becomes a mix of everything at different strengths (that also change depending on which scene.)

HOW did Guy Mann not recognize Mulder after Mulder took a picture of him on the port-a-potty??? And stuck around to ask him some questions???

“That was me, actually.”

“I thought I recognized you!”

So. He… diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid?

OR it was a jackalope head on the wall?

No, wait, it wasn’t a jackalope, Guy Mann just misidentified the animal head on the wall-- and he’s “creeped out” by jackalopes ever since a friend got “gored” by them and GET IT, GUYS, THIS ALL LINKS BACK TO THE BASEMENT WHEN MULDER TALKED ABOUT MOTHMEN AND JACKALOPES.

I swear, Mulder’s just trippin or suffering withdrawals from his meds.

Scully said, “We have a creature case,” and he went home and dreamed this all up in a slime pit of sweat.

HIS DEAD FRIEND GEORGE.

SO THESE LIZARD PEOPLE HAVE NAMES????

THEN WHY’S HIS NAME GUY MANN?????????????????????????????????????

SO, they have friends and eat insects that have some form of consciousness and consider burgers to be cow murder.

I need to stop thinking seriously about this plot.

It’s pit stink Mulder thrashing around in his bed, smiling over speedos and peeping tom tunnels and Scully affectionately calling him crazy-- and that makes the most sense, honestly.

“I think my phone isn’t working right because guys don’t send me pictures of their junk on it.”

More evidence that this was written not by Darin Morgan but by his middle school aged doppelganger, Marin Dorgan, who split from his body during the stress of having to write for the Revival.

“Ever since I became a human, I can’t help but lie about my sex life.” Stupid. He’d need a Twitter account, first.

Mulder’s back to doubting because the entire story’s too silly. To be fair, I do like this beat; and it does align (if you squint at it) with his journey out of depression. BUT it is all too silly, so… kinda think Clone!Mulder’s got a point.

Mulder smiling over learning that Shakespeare called us all ignorant idiots is a nice touch which I shall now spoil: how did Guy Mann know that? Porn?

“Fox, man, you’ve gotta put me out of my misery!” Get it, Fox Mann, Guy Mann? Animals, GET IT.

“You wanted to arrest me for something I didn’t do. Who takes advantage like that? I’ll tell you: a human.” That’s the only comedic bit that landed, for me, and even then it was a lip twitch. His contained righteous indignation got through whatever made the rest of this the way it is! WHOO!

The guy goes stomping off yelling “Monster!” behind him at Mulder to drive his point home, which drives Mulder to drink.

“Mulder’s the monster, get it, because he doesn’t know what he is and is just willing to use other people for his own selfish ends?” the plot says, affectionately, with a giggle behind its hand.

This is the scene where he collapses by Kim Manner’s tomb, isn’t it.

ARE YOU KIDDING, MULDER HAS HIS THEME SONG AS A RINGTONE.

MULDER’S HIGH, THAT’S IT. HE’S HIGH OR OVERDOSING ON HAPPY DRUGS, THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLANATION.

Now that I know this is Ken Mulder’s delirium, it’s going to be interesting to draw unauthorized conclusions about his Alice in Wonderland hallucination.

Aww, look, it’s Kim Manners.

Mulder’s got his Patriarchy Pants' cheeks right on Kim’s face.

Me, ten minutes into the Revival: “Maybe I’m just a fool, Scully. Maybe I always have been.”

Can’t knock that line too much because it is a Mulder thing to think or say.

And it still fits into my delirium scenario, so.

Oh, Kumail’s been turned. Didn’t see that coming. The music’s suspenseful, too. That’s cool.

There’s no way Mulder should figure this out, but he probably will.

Oh, he didn’t.

That’s good.

Also, Scully’s: “Maybe I miss having a dog. And someone to hold my grudges for me,” could apply to her tendency to own dogs but it also might refer to Mulder who she let “curse God for a while” in her stead in IWTB.

Also, where was THIS scene hiding? It’s really good.

Ken Mulder’s hobbling, not running, to his car. ‘Kay.

Wait, Kumail's not a werewolf?

And Scully's got it all handled????

Wait, NO, that makes no sense. AND IT’S ALL EXPLAINED AWAY WITH “I’M IMMORTAL” what.

Scully went to the animal control shelter because she suspected Kumail was the murderer.

She lingered with her back to Kumail, letting him have home court advantage.

HE SLIPPED A NOOSE AROUND HER NECK.

That’s it, she’s doneso. She’s a 5’2” woman that’s as light as a bird, there’s no way she’s toppling a man, let alone one with a noose around her neck and has distance on his side.

Yes, I know this was because the transgender woman surprised Guy Mann with her punch, but that doesn’t translate to a stunning twist for Scully to also have the upper hand. She doesn’t have enough meat on her bones, and nowhere near the arm length to stop her attacker.

Did Guy Mann show up and interfere? Help her out in anyway? Did the dogs rush in and tackle him until she could get up?

IS SCULLY A DOG WHISPERER????? If so, why did Daggoo bite her????????

I will say: Kumail being the murderer really changes that one scene where he was sneaking up behind Mulder.

And also… the fact that he worked for an animal shelter, since he started with small animals.

WAIT, this is a normal animal control shelter, yes? That’s what Mulder yelled into his phone, anyway.

But… there were only dogs in the room when Mulder and the officers arrived.

So. Scully is a dog whisperer, or she tackled Kumail, loosed all the dogs before he got up, and pinned him (impossible) until the cops arrived. I guess. Or the dogs were loose to begin with.

Oh, and chickens.

Dogs and chickens.

Dogs. And chickens. And goats.

(Were ALL the animals loose??????)

Scully, the farm animal whisperer. A trait she must share with her Wyoming son.

Welp. There goes that scene.

Scully approached a dangerous suspect twice without backup (says Mulder, who was Kenning it out in the cemetery with the first dangerous suspect… and the second, if you count him running off and nearly getting offed by Kumail without his knowledge); and excuses it by saying Mulder needed “quality time” with his Lizardman.

“Besides, I’m immortal.”

That sounds like the prequel to another poor decision tattooed on your back, Scully.

Mulder’s not soothed by this pronouncement (obviously), but realizes “If Guy’s story was true--” and runs off into the woods. Again.

And Scully asks the dog if he wants to go home with her.

And I question. Why a dog. Why that dog.

You miss dogs but you didn’t have a tie to any particular dog. And this dog bit you.

Because he’s Plot Relevant Dog. I see.

“Woah, I’m not a reptile! That’s racist!”

No it’s not you silly, silly reptile with utterly unexplainable human knowledge and reflection.

Also, another motif of Mulder just standing there watching another guy undress, casually.

An aspect of Darin’s writing I hadn’t considered: Mulder knows Guy does odd things for a normal human; but also knows this is normal for Guy and just goes with it, for his sake. Like a good psychologist. Like a decent human.

But also, he has his limits.

Also, get it, Mulder’s a man outside mankind, too, who just needs to find himself again. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit?

“I want to believe,” Mulder says.

Mulder just needed someone to say they’re glad to have met him, they’re glad to have him in their life.

So.

I guess Scully hasn’t said those words yet.

Guy shakes his hand.

Mulder watches, stunned, as Guy runs off to hibernate for 10,000 years-- another hallmark of Marin Dorgan’s writing. Ha ha ha, a knee slapper, that one.

“Likewise,” Mulder whispers, overcome and disbelieving and renewed all in one.

A nice little heartfelt, cheesy, sincere ending.

CONCLUSION

What did I just watch?

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #Mulder and Scully Meet the Weremonster #React #A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try #Revival Reviler's first-time watch through #mine #Part III #Mulder #Scully #Revival #xfiles #x-files #the x files #first-time watch through #and there we go #xf meta #S10

60 notes · View notes

phoebepheebsphibs · 8 months ago

Text

Double-Mutated Mikey

Chapter 11: Anthropophobia

Continued from the short story written by @boots-with-the-fur-club

Prev || Next

Splinter is the first to meet April as she walks in. She's carrying several bags that hang from her wrists and arms. Apparently she went grocery shopping before she got here.

Splinter walks over to her and nods his head in greeting.

"Ah, April. Good to see you again..." he sniffs the air, his demeanour immediately changing from composed host to excited foodie. "Ooooh, is that tiramisu I smell?"

April laughs as she reaches into one of the bags.

"All for you, Splints," she says, handing the box of cake over to Splinter, who grabs it with a huge grin.

"Aha! Come to big papa! Thank you, April, this is very kind of you."

"Anything for you and the guys," she says with a smile. "Speaking of which, how's Mikey doing?"

Splinter pauses.

"...How much have they told you?"

"You know Donnie, he likes to be vague and build up suspense for dramatic effect. But he texted me last night to say how the mission went."

"Did he?"

"Sometime at like, midnight or one AM," she grumbles. "Just to say that the mission was a success and they got Mikey back. I asked how he was, and all he said was that he was alive and conscious. But I haven't known Donnie all these years to not know when he's hiding something. So, how is Mikey, really? Is he okay?"

"It's difficult to say," Splinter mumbles, walking back into the lair with April. "He's... he's awake and can communicate, to some extent. He can walk and even run. But... I'll let you decide when you see him."

April is unsure what he means by that, but lets it slide. She's sure she'll find out in a bit.

The three other Hamato sons come into the room to greet them. Leo is first, rushing in with haste. Raph comes in after him, his pace quick but not as swift as Leon's. Donnie meanders in last, his stride slow and somewhat sluggish. He looks exhausted.

"Hey, family!" she says, leaning in for a hug from Leo, who takes half of the bags from her as Raph takes the rest. "How're you holding up?"

"Well enough," Leo mutters. "All things considered. At least, I haven't had a emotional breakdown yet!"

Raph looks embarrassed. Apparently he can't match that boast.

"Where is the man of the hour?" April asks. "I got some new paint pens for him."

Leo looks uncomfortable.

"Uhh... we left him in Donnie's lab. I think he's still asleep... let's get these groceries into the kitchen for now; we'll tell you about everything."

April nods sadly as she follows the guys.

"Hold him still!"

"Stop struggling!"

"Get me 20 Cc's of the mandrill, the boa, and the -- crap, he's gotten loose again!"

Mikey shrieks as he jumps down from the operating chair and dashes to the exit. A guard blocks his path, a cattle prod in his grip. He flicks the switch on it and a loud grinding sound ignites as blue sparks fly from the end. Mikey makes a quick turn and dodges him, running to a corner of the room and cowering. The doctors surround him angrily.

"Where's that frost gun?"

"Over there by the table!"

"Antagonizing little cretin! You'd think he'd have learned his lesson from the last time!!"

One of the men in white comes back, brandishing a long thin airgun with a blue stripe down the middle. A special weapon made specifically for him, for when he acts out. The doctor points it at Mikey and pulls the trigger. A gust of icy air shoots out directly at Mikey. He screeches in pain as the shock of temperature causes his body to go rigid. He falls to the ground convulsing and shivering, painful stabbing sensations prickle across his entire body. He almost feels like he's dying. He can't move.

The guards grab him roughly. He can't move to fight back. Mikey sobs and screams.

He hurts so much, there are so many hurting places on his body.

Needles that have broken the skin to inject what Mikey can only assume is poison because of how much it hurts.

Bruises from where he has been forced into places with other animals to see how they interact. They are never friendly. Mikey is the only one to ever walk out of the room again. Instinct is efficient and ruthless.

There is no love in this room. Only hate. Only pain.

Mikey is taken back to the chair and strapped down. He howls.

"I'd advise you not to do that again," a doctor says with anger burning in his eyes. "Or else there will be consequences."

Consequences worse than what is happening now? He doubts it.

Syringes prick his arms. Oozes and slimes and ghastly liquids are shoved into his veins and bloodstreams. He can feel it doing painful things to him, he feels his bones shift and crack and grow and shrink. His teeth snap into new formations and his fingers start to elongate, the nails splintering and curving into talons.

Mikey sobs. Why is he here? Why do they hate him? Where are the other ones?? Where is Red, and Blue, and Purple? Where did they go, why have they left him behind? Did they escape this place? This place is all he can remember, apart from them. He only recalls needles and linoleums and cages and cold and pain and tears and hatred and fury and longing and loneliness.

Why did they leave him... didn't they love him, once?

Didn't anybody love him once?

No. No one could ever have loved anything from this place.

No one could have loved whatever it is that Mikey is.

Mikey's eyes snap open, tears streaming down his cheeks.

He doesn't recognize this room. It's another cage? It's a small white tunnel, he's stuck inside, he needs to get out!

Mikey clambers around, whining and crying like a puppy stuck in a kennel. He somehow manages to make a backwards shimmy out of the tunnel.

He is in Purple's lab. He wants to leave, now. Right now.

Purple and Blue and Red aren't in here. Where did they go?

The door is open. Mikey rushes out, calling for them.

He howls, long whining hoots that anyone within the lair could hear. Why don't they respond? Where are they?

They left him again...? They left him. They left.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

Mikey starts to whimper.

Should have known they would leave...

No, they wouldn't leave!

Then where are they?

Somewhere... Brothers are somewhere... He'll find them eventually.

No trust. Something bad. Smell something bad.

Mikey smells it, too. Where is the bad smell coming from?

It's not a disgusting scent. In fact, it is, in some ways, very nostalgic. There are traces of coconut oil in it. Sweet scents. But it is a bad smell.

Something dangerous is in the home.

It's coming from the kitchen...

Mikey goes into hunting mode. He digs his talons into the cracks between the bricks in the wall. As he climbs, the pads on his palms shift, tickling sensations that give pins and needles on his hands. Miniscule hairs create Van der Waals forces, causing a suction effect as Mikey starts to scale the wall and crawl to the ceiling.

He sneaks along the top of the hallway, following the bad smell.

Mikey cranes his neck down to peer into the kitchen. Everyone is inside, unloading bags and boxes and containers of food and supplies.

Rat is in the corner of the room, wiping his eyes. He was crying. The human who made breakfast is also in here, quietly rummaging through the pantries and cabinets as he places things away. He looks like he might cry, too. Blue, Red and Purple are holding someone in their arms. She is making a lot of noise, weeping and wailing and sobbing in their embrace. Apparently everyone was crying.

They must love her.

But she smells bad. She has the bad smell. Why trust bad smell?

The bad smell is human.

We don't like humans.

No... we don't... but the male human made the food for us! We trust male human?

NO. No trusting humans! Bad humans! They do terrible things to us. Mikey must not trust humans. Only Instinct. Instinct kept us alive.

Instinct kept Mikey alive...

The male human seems to sense something is watching them, and looks up. He yelps in surprise.

Red, Blue, and Purple turn to look at him, then at what he's pointing at. The girl looks up at Mikey and screams in fright.

He hisses back at her, growling loudly as his tail whips underneath him. The scales and scutes start to lift, the ridges on his shoulders and thighs raising high. His tail becomes a spiky bludgeon.

Let Instinct take over. Instinct will keep us safe.

Mikey can do it. Instinct Might hurt brothers.

Instinct is better. Stronger. Instinct is --

MIKEY CAN DO IT, he snaps back in his mind. His tail cracks like a whip again as he snarls angrily.

The human girl yipes and hides behind Red.

Mikey starts to creep along the ceiling, watching them. Making sure that the evil humans don't do anything to hurt Rat or brothers.

Red follows him around the room, raising his hands and guarding the girl.

"Mikey? Hey Mikey, come on down, bud..."

"How... how is he doing that?" the girl asks.

"Lizards can climb on walls," Blue mutters. "Remember we said he has lizard DNA now?"

"I can't believe... that's really Mikey?" the girl whimpers quietly, grabbing Blue's arm.

"It's him," Blue says. He sounds sad.

"Mikey, come down?" Red begs.

Mikey sneers at the girl.

"What? April? You remember April, right?"

Mikey snaps at her, baring his teeth. The canines are growing longer and longer.

"Mikey, she's your sister," Red enunciates.

Mikey's expression softens. Sister? Like brothers?

"Yeah, mi hermano, she's cool! It's big sis April!" Blue joins in, patting her on the head. "See? She's one of us!"

Mikey croaks at her, cocking his head in confusion.

Don't trust her. Don't trust them. Humans are evil. Humans did this to us. They hurt us, and kept us from brothers, and made us sad and scared. She will hurt you!

Red walks directly underneath Mikey and holds his arms out as far as he can. Mikey lowers himself into his embrace, dangling upside down from the ceiling for a moment before readjusting and wrapping his torso around Red's forearm, his spine twisting with flexibility that surprises his brother.

"Boa constrictor?" he asks, looking at Purple.

"I guess," Purple answers with a tired shrug.

Mikey keeps his eyes on the human girl. She cautiously starts stepping closer, holding a hand out to him.

"Mikey? It's me, April. Please say you remember me...?"

Her voice wavers. She sounds so sad.

Humans can be sad?

Humans only cause sad. How can this human be sad?

Her eyes become glassy and blur over. She sniffles. Her nose is red and her cheeks are rosy. She was crying. She was very sad. Why is she sad now?

Did Mikey make her sad??

Mikey mews at her. He feels bad now. Her fingers touch his beak. He takes in the scent on her hands... lotions, perfume, coco butter from her curls. Mikey doesn't remember her face, or her voice. But he remembers these scents. And they do smell safe. He loves these smells, though he can't remember why. His eyes water, the scents activating some distant and foggy recollection of a warm embrace and a soft hand against his head and the feeling you get when laughing too hard.

She might be human... but he loved her once. He can love her again.

Mikey purrs, closing his eyes and leaning his face into the touch. He hears her stifle a sob, stroking her hand across his forehead and down his cheek. Tears pool in his eyes and seep through. Soon enough, she's wiping the tears away.

The humans were never gentle like this in the other place. They never loved him. But she loves him.

He was loved once. He is loved again.

Prev || Next

80 notes · View notes

angelsanarchy · 1 year ago

Text

Elecktrick Children: One Long Weekend- Epilogue Clyde + Y/n

Tagging:@roryculkinluvr@siriuslymooned@cc-luvr@crypticsewerslut@icarus-star@desert-springtime@shady-the-simp@izuoyarmin@mayathepsychic1999

Clyde had come home from working and immediately got in the shower. He wanted to be ready to receive Y/n once she got home because of her terrible work week. Since moving in with one another, Clyde found that they had fallen seamlessly into a life together, having dinner every night, still going to shows on the weekends. He had even taken her home to meet his dad and step mom. Their lives revolved around one another in the best ways possible.

Y/n was exhausted. She had recently gotten a new position with a magazine and he criticized every one of her photos and yet still made sure to use them on the best articles. She had to actually fight for him to "remember" to credit her on the bottom of the photos just so she could get a paycheck. She spent her whole lunch break complaining to Clyde about him and asking him if they could just kill him and toss him in the desert. Clyde had offered her a compromise that she seemed to be okay with.

Now she was finally on her way home with take out ready to spend the weekend with Clyde as he had promised that once she got home, he would get her insanely high, rub her feet and let her beat him in any Nintendo game she wanted. She carried her bags inside and could see Clyde had already pulled out plates and the weed tray.

"I'm home!" She called out and Clyde walked out in only black sweatpants, bare feet and wet hair fresh from the shower.

"Hey baby, I've already got everything set out. I'm going to roll at least 3 joints since its been a tough week." Clyde started to turn the TV on and Y/n dropped the food on the counter, stripping her bags off and staring at him. She hadn't felt this feral in a while just staring at her boyfriend in his most pure form.

"Go get comfortable, I'll bring the food over to the-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She finally spoke and Clyde froze, still crouched down in front of the TV. He looked confused.

"Um...what?" He asked almost concerned by the look of digust on her face.

"You...look at you." Clyde looked down at himself before staring.

"What? What's wrong?" He stood unsure of what she was referring to.

"You can't just be a perfect boyfriend and insanely fucking sexy in just sweatpants." She had crossed the floor towards him and ran her hands down his chest making him let out a sigh.

"Jesus Christ, you gave me a fucking heart attack." He ran his hands through his hair and Y/n kissed him.

"Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?" She whispered against his lips. He put his hands on her hips and smiled into the kiss.

"Yeah? I guess a shower really does it for you." Clyde teased as she dropped to her knees and raked his sweats down, exposing his cock in front of her. Clyde jumped slightly at the exposure to the air. She didn't waste any time taking him down her throat and sucking. Clyde groaned looking down at Y/n going to work on his cock like she couldn't help herself.

"Y/n fuck..." Clyde let his hands rest on either side of her head, carefully thrusting into her mouth. She cupped his balls and rolled them between her fingers making his body jolt.

"God you suck my cock so good. I love you so much." He bit his lip, trying not to bust too quickly.

"Where do you want me to cum?" Clyde asked out of breath, nearing his climax.

"Do you have two in you?" She pulled off and looked up through her lashes at him. He shook his head unsure if he could reboot that quickly.

"I already hit the bong so probably just one right now." Y/n gave one more long pull from his cock before standing yanking her panties down her legs and pushing him to sit on the couch. She climbed into Clyde's lap and lowered her dripping pussy onto his cock making them both let out shivering groans. All Clyde could do was hold onto her hips as she rode his cock without any hesitation. She was fucking herself on his cock like it was to save his life.

"Oh fuck Clyde." She whined holding onto his shoulders and raking her fingernails down his pecs. Clyde was on the edge and started thrusting up to match her pivoting her hips down. Her groans turned to screams and Clyde gripped her hips tightly, bruising the skin of her hip as he cum inside of her. Y/n kept saying "yes" as she rode Clyde's cock into her own orgasm slowing her hips and letting her head fall onto his naked shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around her, letting her catch her breath. He could feel both his cum and her own run down his cock as he stayed buried inside of her. When she finally lifted her head to look at him, he laughed.

"Can we do this all weekend?" She asked sweetly and he nodded his head.

"Are you serious? We can stay naked and never leave this fucking couch." Clyde pushed her hair off her face and she returned with her own laugh. They were just two crazy kids in love and enjoying everything that comes with it.

They spent the rest of the weekend, wrapped up in one another, eating take out, playing Nintendo and fucking.

#Elecktrick Children #Clyde x Y/n #Clyde #One Long Weekend #One Shot Series #One Long Weekend Series #Rory Culkin #Culkin Cult #I just had to...I had to do it.#18/18 #END OF SERIES

86 notes · View notes

modelbus · 1 year ago

Text

How do I make School happy

Pairing: Cc!Wilbur soot x Gn!Reader

Flufftober 23 - You’ve Been Schooled

He was late.

After three weeks of failing English because of some stupid poetry unit, you had finally gathered up the courage to get a tutor. And he was fucking late. That, on top of an already shit week, might just be your breaking point. Say “fuck it” to school and give up. Seriously, why did you even need to know poetry?

You groan mentally, standing up. Grabbing your bag, you’re ready to finally go home and mope in self-pity and sorrow. Something crashes into you, very nearly sending you into the sharp corner of the table, only to tug you away last second. Instead of whatever horrible fate awaited you with that corner, you land roughly on the ground.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Shit. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to run into you!” A guy’s voice exclaims.

You open your eyes—when did you close them?—and tilt your head to see who you presumed was your tutor. Fluffy brown hair, crooked circular glasses, panicked eyes.

Holy shit. He was cute.

He was also on the ground with you, meaning he didn’t just take you down. At least you weren’t the only one laying on the floor of the library.

“Are you okay?” He worries, hands running over your arms before gripping onto to your hands to help you up.

“Yeah.” You nod. Surprisingly, you are. The fall wasn’t that bad.

“I’m Wilbur and I’m guessing you’re the one Im meant to be tutoring right now? God, that means I owe you more apologies.” Wilbur runs a hand through his hair, looking stressed as all hell. “I got caught up in helping my little brother, Tommy, and just… forgot.”

“Wow. Guess I’m not important enough.”

“I didn’t mean-!” He starts, voice high and panicked, before he sees the grin on your face. “Oh. Joking. Thank fuck.”

“Closing in five minutes!” The librarian yells across the library, and all around you people start packing up.

Wilbur was over an hour late, but all your annoyance disappeared. How the fuck were you meant to be mad at a guy who looks like this? I’d love at first sight was something you believed in, you were head over feet (literally, considering he knocked you down) for him.

He winces, pausing for a second. “So we can’t stay here. Got it. I’m… so fucking sorry. If you still have time, we can go to the park? It’s nice out, and they have tables.”

You glance over at the wall, trying to find a clock, and Wilbur holds his wrist out for you to look at his watch. It’s a strangely endearing move, especially when you notice chipped nail polish. Bright red, most likely from the aforementioned brother.

“Alright.” You agree. “Maybe fresh air will stop me from losing my mind over English.”

Wilbur laughs, loud and joyful. His shoulders relax at the knowledge you’re not mad. “Maybe. It can’t be that bad, right?”

“Trust me, it can.”

After a moment, he takes a step forward. “Come on, let’s get a good table before they’re all taken.”

“I wasn’t aware there were designated good tables.”

He grins, then twists your own words. “Trust me, there are.”

Maybe this whole tutoring thing wouldn’t be so bad.

(And if you got his number at the end? Nobody needed to know.)

#dsmp #mcyt #mcyt imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot #wilbur x reader #wilbur imagine #wilbur

93 notes · View notes

autisticlalna · 5 months ago

Text

Stuck in Limbo: a follow-up

this was originally gonna be a reblog of the original Stuck in Limbo explanation post but then it got long and went on a tangent. for the love of god please help me

so... about Limbo.

or, a bit more specifically, about Olm.

this is part of Olm's backstory in Avid Adventures. as you can see from the timestamp, we've known about this for a few months now, but i've kinda filed it away as something to keep an eye out for future AA episodes.

and then Avid's episode 12 dropped, and among the rampant speculation and analysis was a single message that simultaneously tied things together and flipped them on its head:

to summarize: Limbo is where Olm was born, and where Olm was supposed to never leave. they completely consumed it, leaving nothing but emptiness and themself, until someone made the mistake of opening a portal into Limbo and setting them free upon the rest of the universe.

cc!Avid confirmed already that Olm has been toying with sbk!Avid and that the "laws of Incendium" that required Avid to kill the Dark Lord and be banished to Limbo were made up (as explained in the original post), but this fully locks it in. Olm dunked Avid into their home universe for safekeeping and left him to wander for a thousand years until making the deal.

this raises questions. is Avid trapped? Olm was trapped until they were freed by an external force, and they were able to send out part of Avid. are they lying again, or is it actually impossible to escape Limbo without outside intervention? how are people (besides Avid, who was put there on purpose) falling into Limbo "problematic", and what is Olm trying to hide? i'm... gonna have to get into that in another post, i think.

because speaking of tying Avid Adventures and Skyblock Kingdoms together, though, there's one last way for Avid to completely blindside us with a single message.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE HELP ME

for further context: for the first 7 episodes of Avid Adventures, Avid was an enderman.

it wasn't until he broke Olm's curse on Vilethorn that something changed:

"We beat Vilethorn, we cured Rosewood, the mansion is back and beautiful! But something feels... different. Like, when I was down there, I feel like when I cured the curse, something... changed in me too. Like a piece of me... was left behind. And I... can't seem to put my finger on it."

but... that's not the end of it. Avid Adventures has two storylines: the Light Path, where you fight against Olm, and the Dark Path, where you join him instead. that clip is from the Light Path, but when Avid tests out Vilethorn's Dark Path, something strange happens:

"I'm not gonna lie, I feel... kinda bad. If I were to play my own map... I don't think I would do Dark Path. So... This one's for you evil people, I guess! Well at least it can't get any worse, let's get on outta here, looks like we completed the Curse of Vilethorn, and... what's in the reward bag. Oh, gosh. Is it Usim's head? Now I feel even worse! I mean-- [annoyed] Oh, gosh. Enderman again. Well, you guys, it looks like I'm gonna have to run Vilethorn as a good guy in order to get set back to normal, but I will take care of that off camera."

so the implication here is that Avid's humanity is directly tied to Olm's curse, somehow. but... why would that happen in Limbo? it's very brief and happens while Olm is yanking out the soul chunk that becomes sbk!Avid, and honestly i figured it was just a general indication of Olm's influence seeing as that's also their eye color while they're possessing their current vessel:

but... maybe that's the same thing. firstly because Olm's eyes changed during that same scene to what can be assumed to be their "original" eye color based off of what we've seen in AA, but also because we've seen what happens when Olm assumes direct control over our lovable adventurer.

Avid: What-- What-- Uh-- Hello? Who- who put all the blocks here?! Olm: You did. Avid: I put... I did this?! Olm: Yes. Avid: What-- I don't-- remember-- Olm: And you did well. Now... Make. The. Boss. Avid: Uh, guys... Something feels, uh... diff- different. Olm: Don't let them know. Avid: Okay, uh, let's... [cheerful] And guys--!

i don't know what this means for the part of Avid still in Limbo, but it's probably not anything good.

this was going to be a footnote with the main part of the post being "yeah so uh Limbo is Olm's home dimension. what the heck" but uh. the implications are implications-ing and i'm gonna lose it.

(...it is at this point that i reveal that i helped make the half-enderman skin because the entire "aa!Avid was an enderman" thing lives in my head rent-free. and then that skin got actually used.)

#leo.txt #skyblock kingdoms #avid adventures #sbk #sbkcd #meta analysis stuff #leo.pdf #(theres a little bit of transcription in here! AAAAAAAAAAA)#AND IM WORKING ON *ANOTHER* ONE OF THESE POSTS TOO BC IT DONT STOP COMING AND IT DONT STOP COMING AND IT D

21 notes · View notes

simnostalgia · 9 months ago

Note

Lol Linda didn't JUST namedrop DeeDee and shit on her content. She downloaded ALL OF DEEDEE'S CONTENT on tumblr looking for stuff that had too big of textures and only found ONE ITEM. She decided to put Deedee on blast for that one issue.

She's going through free creator's stuff in order to find anything she can point out as flawed and say "THESE FREE CREATORS ARE THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE PINK FLASHING!! ONLY ME AND MY PERMA-PAYWALL FRIENDS KNOW HOW TO MAKE CONTENT!! SO BUY FROM US!!"

I guess they're not making enough money rn so they have to whine and bitch about people who provide their stuff for free.

Mean-fucking-while, Linda and her friends are taking meshes from GorillaGorillaGorilla, Bank42, Rimmings, Backtrack CC and MAMY other sims 4 CC creators, converting them to sims 2 and making a profit off of OTHER PEOPLE'S MESHES AND TEXTURES.

They're like "wahhh making good conversions is hard!! I deserve to be payed for the work I do!"

But you know what's even harder? Making models from scratch! If you and your paywall buddies want to understand why people are pissed off at you, Linda, TRY MAKING MESHES FROM SCRATCH YOURSELF. It's not fucking easy. You are making money off of other people's models+textures, including bodyshapes, clothes, furniture and more. This is someone else's hard work you're making a profit off of.

Also. The "pink flashing" is just a fucking excuse. She's like "I have mine and my friends' content in my game and I never experience pink flashing!"

Yeah? Well i guess what? I have content from deedee, fakeblood, R13 and other creators she decides to shit on and I don't experience pink-flashing either! I don't even experience crashing. This is because pink-flashing has nothing to do with high-poly meshes or big textures! I know people who play with no cc at all and get pink-flashing. We still don't know the cause of it.

I bet if Linda got a different laptop, she'd be experiencing pink-flashing left-and-right, because I do have some of her shit from and GOD ARE THEY HIGH POLY AS FUCK.

On another note.. Sorry about the rant; I had to get it out of my system because I don't have a public tumblr blog, but I've been using tumblr to find cc for years, and I've been following this Linda drama since like 2020. It still makes me fucking lividd.

OMFG You're KIDDING. She downloaded ALL of her stuff just to try and be a bitch? Amazing. I knew that she was the worst but I had no idea it was like that.

It's so funny because back in like '21 when we were having all that drama about Sunny targeting pay creators I was always like they suck but honestly live and let pirate, you know? If someone's stupid enough to pay for this shit, let them. I never had a problem as long as they didn't try to impede on pirating. Get your bag, girl.

But what exactly is Linda trying do? Make people feel like paying for content is the only reasonable way to get it?

#patreon #patreon cc #sims patreon #patreon sims #lindasims #sims drama #sims community #The Sims #TS2 #TS4 #TS3

29 notes · View notes

wildpeachfarm · 9 months ago

Note

Hi! I hope you’re doing good

I’ve seen a few anons mention how it’s okay to only be here for Dream/dteam. And how a lot of the other Minecraft-based CCs are seemingly jealous of all the success Dteam have had, and think that deplatforming them will make way for us to move to their content. And I want to say I agree.

I became a fan of (dream first, then SNF) them in 2020 when it was peak Covid time. I was a sophomore in college, and my brother was in kindergarten; I was trying to find things to relate with him, and stumbled into the Minecraft sphere, cause he likes Minecraft. I was hoping to find someone current and semi-child friendly, and I stumbled upon dreams videos. I watched them first before showing them to my little brother, and after deciding I liked them, we now watch dreams videos together.

As someone who had limited access to the internet as a kid, and knows like next to nothing about Minecraft, I’m really only here for Dteam. Cause I enjoy their content and it brought my brother and I closer. If I stop being a fan of Dteam, I’m honestly probably going to just leave the Minecraft sphere altogether, considering Dteam are what’s keeping me here (not that I haven’t met some amazing people, but you get what I mean).

It’s very telling the agenda of these CCs the more I become offline and take a look at the bigger picture. I said this earlier, but their content is based on a fleeting hatred for the internets current punching bag. If they ever stop expressing hatred or, god forbid, Dteam get deplatformed, all the “fans” they think they had will be gone. Because with no common perceived enemy, there’s nothing keeping them tied to those creators. And so they’ll go back to whatever they were doing before-hand.

I wanted to extend some semblance of sympathy to these CCs, cause it’s really hard to make a career out of this, but they’re also going about it the wrong way, and my sympathy doesn’t exist anymore. If the only content you have is performative activism, then maybe you should consider a different career path.

Adding on to that, let’s say I do stop watching Dteam, or the “behind the scenes” stuff wasn’t just petty grievances. Why would I then go watch the people that have been harassing, bullying, threatening the same people I was just a fan of the entire time I was their fan? If dteams morals are so bad, what makes theirs any better? And why would I support theirs, when I wouldn’t support someone else’s bad morals? (Again, hypothetical, cause I’m still a fan and all the “bts” stuff ARE petty grievances).

They’re so blinded by their hatred and jealousy that they cannot see they’re destroying their own careers with this. There’s a reason outside of Twitter, a lot of people don’t know who these creators are, and the only reason they do is because they stick their noses everywhere.

It’s become apparent the last few weeks that outside of Twitter- where their core fanbase IS NOT- people are seeing these CCs for what they are and it’s driving them away from any content they might produce. They’re driving away potential fans acting like this, and they can’t even see it, cause they’re so focused on dteam (mainly dream). Maybe focus on your own career, before trying to take down someone else’s, especially when you have nothing career-ending over them.

So again, why would I stop being a fan of people I liked for so long, and stuck around for the good, bad, ugly, and sometimes dangerous (gotta love doxxing /sar), to immediately go be a fan of people that contributed to the absolute onslaught of horrid treatment of the people I was a fan of? It doesn’t make sense.

Unlike them, I’m not going to compromise my morals and make a big public spectacle to then privately do the opposite. I dropped Wilbur after Shelby came out with her story. I was more than willing to drop Dream if his allegations were proven correct, and the same goes for George. That’s what these CCs don’t understand. I’m a human first before I’m a fan. And that humanity stays with me wherever my interests take me.

Sorry it’s so long; I know you probably have a lot of asks. But still appreciate you taking the time to read this anyway.

Have a good day, my favorite source of tea!

-L :)

Thank you for sharing L ! I think you bring up some very good points about consuming content/CCs and just Being A Person

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

30 notes · View notes

afterdarkwithsam · 2 months ago

Text

Hnnggghhhh...

I'M DOING IT

I haven't written smut for myself in a long time and just really need to write a little something for myself considering how lacking everything has been for me

Simple IchiAki smut, oc x cc +18 stuff, they are both adults and in a consensual relationship, she pegs him

They are both freaks too, if you know you know

If you're a minor DNI with this post

Am I forgetting something? No? Good.

NSFW under the cut.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

╭ ◜◝ ͡ ◝ ͡◜◝ ╮

( )

( cock )

( )

╰ ͜ ╯

〃∩　∧＿∧

⊂⌒（ ´・ω・）

｀ヽ_っ＿/￣￣￣/ 　

　＼/＿＿＿/ me rn

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It did start off simple—it always does. Ichimatsu walked Aki home after she had spent her day off together feeding the strays. The two walked back, holding hands. He was going to part ways with her at the door of her apartment complex—and he certainly didn't expect to get pulled in.

She pulled him into the elevator with her, and just as the door closed behind them, she kissed him. It was a rather sweet kiss; it seemed like Aki had waited for it all day. Then once she pulled away she gave him another kiss. It would have been much the same as the first one, well, had it not been for Aki shoving her tongue down his throat. So... That's the direction things were going in.

The two were slobbering over eachother not even a second later once Ichimatsu registered that Aki wasn't quite ready to call it a night.

The elevator door dinged, and Aki pulled away, walking out as if nothing had happened. She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. "You can stay the night if you want." That had him following after her like a loyal dog.

Because Ichimatsu just knew what he was in for. He'd let her do whatever she wanted to him every night.

Once they arrived in her appartement the two were greeted by Aki's cat Reginald, and Ichimatsu was given his orders "Be a good kitten and get ready for me, I'll join you soon." He was like the flash.

While Aki went on to feed her kitty, Ichimatsu sprinted into Aki's room. Tugging his clothes off and discarding them on the floor until he was just in his briefs. It's been a while- he felt a bit anxious, thinking that Aki maybe didn't find him attractive anymore. Or that he was actually atrocious at sex. He looked at himself in her full-length mirror, giving his stomach a small squish.

But his thoughts were stopped in their tracks when Aki walked in. "There's my pretty little kitty," she purred, her voice like honey. He watched her elegantly walk to him through the mirror glass until she was right behind him. Her hands slipped up his sides and gave them a good squeeze. He tilted his head and gasped as her breath tickled his neck, causing his skin to prickle. She was intoxicating. "Y... Yes..." He whispered. "Yes... What?" She encouraged him, her tongue pressing against his neck, tracing up to his chin. "Yes A-Aki-sama~" "Such a good kitty.~"

Splayed across Aki's bed, rock hard, Ichinatsu knew exactly what to expect as he watched Aki take things out of her nightstand drawer and place them onto the bed. The usual, strap, dildo, a plug, and a bottle of lube.

Aki was attaching the harness onto herself, tightening it juuuust enough so it squished the flesh of her abdomen and thighs in just the right way. And of course, she was securing the dildo on it as well, just to make sure it didn't pop off and get stuck inside of him. "Also… I have something new for you," she said, smirking and glancing at him.

Ichimatsu’s curiosity peaked as he gulped seeing her putting the strap on, it made his member twitch. “Something new?…” he asked and sat up.

"I don't think you would have ever believed me if I told you what I got you but…" Aki reached into the nightstand once more to pull out a paper bag that had a label on the local sex toy shop. She set it on the bed with Ichimatsu. She reached into it to pull out what looked like a tagged collar and a leash to go with it. The double-sided collar had his name on it with the iconic pine leaf he always had on his clothing, and at the back, it read 'property of Aki' because she was just that girl. "I thought you might like this… It can be used for bondage too…"

Ichimatsu gasped softly seeing the logo on the bag, wow, a sex shop? What exactly was he in for? His eyes widened seeing it was a collar and a leash, this made him throb. “Holy shit…are we trying this out tonight?” He asked taking the collar in his hands to look at it closer, he adored the text on it.

"I had it custom made and I… Was hoping to try it out tonight." Aki admitted as she allowed him to take the collar from her. Was he going to put it on? She crawled onto the bed, fetching the bottle of lube and setting it down next to her.

Ichimatsu, being predictable, put the collar around his neck and went to go look at himself in her mirror once more. This time, looking at himself and admiring the gift Aki got him “It fits perfectly…” he said tugging at it and honestly, enjoying how he looked in it, looking over at her, he hoped she could see how much he liked his gift. She spoils him...

Aki didn't know what she was to expect. Of course, he'd put the collar on himself. What a good kitten he was, saving her the trouble of doing it herself. "Awww, it looks so good on you kitten~" Aki complimented, patting the spot next to her on the bed. He was pretty quick to obey and come back to sit down next to her. She scooted over to him and attached the leash to his collar. She rolled it around her collar before giving it a safety tug "There you go, all pretty, and ready for me… Want me to start prepping you now?" She asked softly.

Ichimatsu blushed with a small smile at her compliment, finding it easy for him to accept such praise from her. When she tugged the collar, he couldn’t help but let out a grunt and bit his bottom lip from how good it felt. “Yeah...I’m ready” he said, crawling onto the bed and getting on his hands and knees. It was his default position, this way he could wiggle his butt for her. Giving a small show.

Aki snorted, picking up the bottle of lube and squirting some onto her fingers. "Show off…" Now sure… She could technically prepare him, but would he mind a bit of pain for the sake of pleasure? "Oh, Ichi…" she cooed, standing behind him, she traced her fingers over his opening before pushing against it, she gave a gentle tug of the leash with her other hand "I may not stop for a while once I'm in, you sure you can handle it?" She asked, "There's also always the safe word."

Ichimatsu felt himself shudder as she rubbed his entrance, a small gasp left him once she pushed her fingers in. “I-I can handle it…” he said with a grunt from the tug, “No matter how much I cum or beg…I can handle you~” he smirked back at her and nodded. “I do… Peach,” he said testing the word, he liked to make sure he remembered it by saying it out loud before they started.

A chuckle escaped Aki as she leaned over him, placing kisses along the base of his spine "Hmmm?~ Really now?~" she purred, pushing her fingers deeper into his, really pressing into him, and spreading her fingers to open him up for her "I'll make sure to treat you to some stellar aftercare afterwards then.~" she said, letting go of his leash for the moment so she could reach her hand over to cup and pump his dick in her hand. "And once I'm done with you… Will you help me cum too..? Hmm? At least once?"

Ichimatsu couldn’t help the blush on his cheeks growing and the most that escaped him made it reach the tips of his ears. Before he could respond to the aftercare he’d be receiving, her hand was already on his dick. Oh it felt so good to receive such attention, “O-of course… You can even use me as a toy~,” he said before moaning again as his hips bucked into her hands “I’ll do whatever you want~”

"Well, that is… Unless you end up too fucked out to even function." Aki remarked with a snort, she didn't know what effect her ravenous desires would have on him. Poor guy had no idea what he was in for either. She pushed her fingers in and out of him, all the while giving his dick some loving strokes. "You're such a good boy Ichimatsu, so good for me~ Such a good, tight kitty, does it feel good?~"

Ichimatsu let out a small chuckle as he was enjoying the pleasure she was giving him. “It feels so good Aki~” he hummed moaning softly, it felt so heavenly. His dick was dripping pre-cum and her fingers were so close to his prostate. “You’re so good to me…making me feel this good…” he moaned again nuzzling his head into her pillow and inhaling her scent

"Good, so good…" Aki cooed, pulling her fingers out of him and letting go of his shaft before standing upright behind him on her knees. She assumed he'd had enough and was ready for the next step.

Her hand was back on his leash, tugging on it a small bit while her other hand firmly grasped his hip. Slowly, she pushed the dildo into him "There we go… Good kitty, here's your treat~"

Ichimatsu groaned. The tug really brought him back to what was about to go down, and he was ready. As soon as he felt the pleasure he moaned in a high-pitched tone and gripped her pillow, “Th-thank you, Aki-sama~” he moaned out

"Ah… You're so cute Ichimatsu~ you're taking the strap like a champ too~" Aki teased him before she managed to push all the way into him. She jerked her hips against him rather harshly now, to make sure he could feel every inch inside of him. "You're enjoying g this way more than me too it seems, you dirty kitten~" she purred, rubbing and groping his sides.

Ichimatsu absolutely melted into the bed and pillow as she got her hips to touch his ass. He felt just how deep she was in him. “Aki….Sama….” he moaned out as he gripped the pillow more, the urge to touch and jerk himself was strong but he knew he needed to be good for her. “Please…” he whined as he slowly started moving himself so he was fucking himself on her strap.

Aki was pleased to see him take it all the way, so pleasantly too… It was satisfying to watch. "Oh, of course, my love, don't worry, I'll give you what you want~" she purred, going to bottom out of him almost all the way before pushing back into him. "There we go…" she readjusted her grip on the leash before getting a good grip and thrusting into him at a steady pace.

Ichimatsu gasped before letting out a loud whiny moan, “Thank you Aki-sama!~” he moaned. “I’m your good kitty…~,” he said looking back at her with his tongue hanging out slightly, he felt so disgusting that it made the whole situation way hotter. Maybe this is how women felt when getting fucked? He loves being in this position. “Oh yes~ please…more~” he cheekily begged her.

Aki was steady at first, but looking at Ichimatsu's back as she basically blew it out with the strap, she zoned out for a moment she thought back about her day at work that left her in quite a mood this week, Ichimatsu did try his best to cheer her up on her day off but still...

"More? You want more?" Aki scoffed, getting a great idea and utilising her end of the leash as a whip and smacked his ass with it. With the amount of time he'd spanked her while she was in his position, she wanted to return the favour. "Do you really think you're in any position to beg so pathetically and expect me to give you anything at all?" She hissed, giving a few harsh thrusts into him.

Ichimatsu gasped and let out a yelp that was followed by another whiny moan. The sting felt so nice along with her thrusting. “N-no, Aki-sama..~,” he said going to lay his head back down on her pillow forgetting about the leash and collar. His member was hard and bouncing under him after every thrust “You feel so good, I’m so pathetic begging for more…~” he whined, he couldn't help but drool onto the pillow, he was going to lose it. His legs were going to give out.

"Is what I'm giving you now not good enough for you? You're one spoiled slut in that case…" Aki scoffed once more, glaring down at him as her nails dug into his flesh "I'm too good to you, and yet it's not enough for you…" she muttered, and once against using the leash to strike his ass "If you want something, beg for it properly then!"

Ichimatsu groaned from the slight pain from her nails, but it also felt so good. “Sorry, A-Aki-sama…” he moaned and gasped as she struck him again, “ah! Oh god, yes~ please Aki-sama…!” a whine escaped him before continuing “I need more pleasure… Please touch me mo-more and fuck me ha-arder…” he begged pathetically.

"There we go, now that wasn't so hard, was it now?" Aki hissed as she leaned over him, pressing her breasts into his back and pulling on his leash as she nibbled on his ear. Her thrusts became harder and faster as per his begging request, and she really hammered into him "And you better not cum without permission- unless you want me to stick something else up your ass afterwards.~"

Ichimatsu moaned softly, with the feeling of her breast on his back, it gave him goosebumps as well as the nibbling on his ear. “Thank you, Aki-sama~,” he said softly and with his voice faltering from the hard thrust, “Oh fuck... S-sooo good~” he gasped and nodded eagerly “I-i won’t cum without your permission ma’am!~” he whined as his curiosity was going off over what else could she stick in him? But does he dare go against her to find out?

A part of her felt as if she could trust Ichimatsu to keep to his word and hold back his climax, but another part of her felt like she couldn't expect him to not act cheeky with her. Even as she was fucking him, he might still try and get himself punished. "Att'a boy Ichimatsu, you're such a good boy for me~" she purred, with one hand holding his leash she reached a hand around him to hug him as her thrusts turned shallow and harsh

The slight pull of the leash made him choke but moaned right after, he really was a disgusting slutty cat. He wanted to cry from it all feeling so good, his brain stimulated by the pleasure so much he forgot about pain being a thing “Oh fuck… Yes!~ right there, please Aki-sama~” he moaned louder, she was pressing right on his prostate too, and he could feel his orgasm building up, wanting to burst right out of him. H wanted to hold back, as hard as it was, “A-Aki-sama! I’m going to cum i-if you continue~” he warned between moans.

A wicked idea popped into Aki's mind as he warned her about cumming, all the while she humped him like a horny rabbit. "Oh, getting close, are we now? Does my little slut want to cum?~" she teased, her movements speeding up only to abruptly stop as she was deep within him. She ground her hips against his ass for a bit before letting go of him and standing up.

Ichimatsu moaned louder and weirdly felt himself spreading his legs more so she could get even deeper. “Yes please!” He begged under her but gasped when she stopped, only giving him a little bit of pleasure.

And then, she pulled the dildo out of him as well. Merely pushing and rubbing the tip of it against his opening "I don't think so~ roll over slut." she stated before smacking his ass.

“Shit…” he muttered under his breath as he knew he was being edged. He yelped and quickly turned over on his back, looking away from her as his face got red. He disliked this position because of the fact she could see him in all his disgusting glory.

Aki's thought was simple- the more she edges him, she just knew the more fun it would mean for her, seeing him finally orgasm over himself after holding back and getting edged... Just how much pleasure will she see on his face? "Aw, what happened kitty? You weren't so timid before~" Aki chuckled, now that he was on his back… She glanced down at them, licking her lips she went to position herself at his entrance again "You look even cuter with the collar and leash on you~" she hummed, curious to test how flexible he was she placed her hands onto his thighs and went to throw his legs over her shoulders all the while she rubbed the dildo over his hole.

Ichimatsu groaned from her teasing and blushed an even deeper red. It felt humiliating to be on his back, his pudgy body on display for her alone to see. She loved him, and he knew. His member twitched from her words, and so did his hand but remembered he couldn’t touch himself, he was going to be a good kitty for her.

What surprised him was when she lifted his legs up to rest on her shoulders, “H-hey... What are you-“ as if the position couldn’t get any more embarrassing. “Aki-Sama…~,” he said before biting his lip from the feeling of his hole being teased once more, he was so ready for more. He wanted more, he needed more.

"Whaaaaaat? Since I'm the one doing the fucking I deserve to have some fun too~" Aki teased, grinning down at him as she leaned over him to place kisses over his torso while pushing into him once again, the second time was smooth as butter as the dildo slid in without a problem. "You're so cute, I could just eat you up~" she laughed, her tongue lapping over the skin of his neck before she turned her attention a bit lower…

She wondered…. Kissing around his pecks before taking one of his nipples into her mouth… Since she was (almost) getting the full male experience she might as well also go the full way by checking to see where else he was sensitive.

Ichimatsu gasped and moaned as he felt full again, it was humiliating having Aki say these things to him and it made his dick throb. Disgusting. “Aki-sama…~” he whined out from the overwhelmed pleasure, and when she played with his nipples it was game over. “Oh fuck, Aki-sa-ah!!~” he moaned louder and threw his head back as he busted all over his stomach.

Aha! A new weakness was uncovered, now she knew another weakness of his. However, it also caused him to cum without permission, so he was in for it now. "Look at you, and the mess you made, oh kitten…" Aki chuckled sinisterly, her lips popping off his nipple as she went to pull out of him "Did I fuck you that good?" She asked, soothingly, but she did have his punishment in mind already.

"Oh, but, Ichimatsu… I'll need to punish you now~" she purred. Even while he was covered in his cum and sweat, she wasn't quite done yet.

Ichimatsu whined as his member twitched to try and release more but needed to be stroked out. “You-you fucked me really good…I’m such a bad kitten~” he teased with a small sheepish smile, “Wh-what are you going to do Aki-sama..?~” he said getting really into their session, he felt so much disgusting excitement from this. He broke the rules and now he's getting punished? Oh, joy!

"Yeah, you are… Look how dirty you got yourself~ and how you disregarded my command…" Aki exhaled, thinking about his punishment she moved over to fetch the other toy she had put down on the bed previously. A plug of sorts with a cat head on the other end and a simple remote of sorts that only had a switch with four settings on it.

"Keep your legs wide open kitten, since you can still find it in you to act like a brat I think a different kind of stimulation would do you some good, and serve to teach a lesson."

#ichimatsu x reader #osomatsu-san x reader smut #ichimatsu x reader smut #yumematsu #ososan nsft #ososan smut #ososan #ichiaki #ichiaki smut #smut shot #smut with plot... Kind of #to be continued

9 notes · View notes